andrea cabanas
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Andrea Cabañas, Profound Map.
I learned that I now have a much better version of my new draft. Putting all information together helps me to visualise it better where I have to improve, where I have to cup parts of my story. Still, I got stuck in some parts, but it’s something I’ll work on as I start rewriting my script.
1. What is Your Profound Truth?
Don’t let religion stop you from being who you are.
2. What is the Transformational Journey?
Old Ways: prejudiced, ashamed, struggling with religious beliefs, fear of taking risks and telling the truth, insecure, spendthrift.
Journey: Zoe battles with her prejudices, and it’s hard for her to accept that she’s bisexual. When she knows her lover is a drug dealer, she holds back and thinks this is all a mistake. However, when she sees the church priest with a man, her religious beliefs are put into checkmate, giving her the strength to free herself and love whoever she wants regardless of gender.
New Ways: unprejudiced, proactive, accepting who she is, has more control over her finance, confident, and breaks the religious barrier that prevented her from being who she is. She proves to her mother that she’s worthy.
<div>Transformational Logline: A creative but insecure adult woman who lives with her controlling mother still needs to fight her religious prejudices to gain the freedom to be who she is.
3. Who are Your Lead Characters?
Change Agent (the one causing the change): Georgia, the priest
Transformable Character(s) (the one who makes the change): Zoe
Betraying Character (if you have one): Katrina?
Oppression: Religion4. How Do You Connect With Your Audience at the Beginning of the Movie?
A. Relatability – They Are Us! Welcome She’s a creative woman who loves what she does. Start realising that she needs to set down and save money if she wants to buy an apartment. Zoe wants her mother’s embrace, but she doesn’t have it. She’s in love with a man who doesn’t love her and suffers.
B. Intrigue Why does she go to a gay pub on her own? Why Katrina is so bitter with Zoe? Why is their relationship that way? What happened on July 1st? How did her uncle die? Who’s the man she sees in the pub with another man? Why she’s afraid of coming out? Why does the police is after Paula? Why Juan wants revenge?
C. Empathy She misses her uncle and wishes he was there to guide her. Zoe feels happy when her mother praises something she does. Zoe cries seeing a video of a calf being rescued by an animal rescue group.
D. Likability She confides her feelings with Georgia. She defends Georgia when someone bullies her friend. She ‘helps’ a butterfly to fly free.5.
What is the Gradient of the Change?The “Forced Change” Emotional Gradient
Denial: Zoe doesn’t accept her sexuality because she believes this is wrong.
Anger: her mother doesn’t leave her alone and pushes her to believe it’s wrong to be bisexual or homosexual. Zoe doesn’t like the way Katrina makes rude comments toward gays or when a man bullies Georgia in front of her.
Bargaining: she wants to know who’s Paula and why did she come into her life. She puts herself in line when Juan takes Katrina.
Depression: Zoe has sex with Juan (or someone else) when she sees Paula with another woman.
Acceptance: Zoe flirts with another woman/pays for a drink OR goes to the Mardi grass Parade.
Gradient 2. The Action Gradient
Setup:
Zoe has a casual relationship with a man but is confused about her feelings toward Paula. She doesn’t accept it because ‘it’s wrong’; she still has religious preconceptions—a barrier to accepting her sexuality.
Katrina suspects Zoe is lesbian and hires a private detective to follow her. But Zoe denies it.
Zoe works in a decor store—it’s hard to find a job. She pays back the money Paula lent her to create her website. A first client appears.
Zoe meets up with friends but ends the night in a gay pub hidden from everyone.
Through an investigation, Zoe learns from the federal police that Paula has connections to a drug dealer. She’s put in the spotlight and tells her mother she’s bisexual. Zoe’s kicked out of the house. Nothing she does is worth it.Journey:
She hides what happened to Paula from her friends, but not Georgia, who tries to convince her that being bisexual is okay.
Katrina doesn’t accept Zoe’s work choices as a freelancer interior designer. Still, Zoe tries to show her mother that she’s good at what she does, looking for recognition.
Nina tells Zoe desperately that she fell pregnant and needs help because she doesn’t want the baby. Zoe is caught between supporting her friend and denying help because of religious thoughts.
When she’s temporary with Georgia, helping to organise her exhibition, Katrina has a breakdown, and Zoe comes back to her mother.
Zoe tries to date other men (or James), but she senses her feelings for Paula are stronger.Payoff
Zoe sees the priest with a man. Zoe makes sure he sees her and questions him about God’s love/or condemnation for sinning. The priest goes to Katrina’s house and secretly tells her and Zoe that he’s leaving the church.
Zoe has a meeting with important people, and she’s hired (?)
Katrina recognises her daughter’s work and apologies for her absence. They embrace.
Zoe’s free to be with Paula, but Paula is caught by the police and is deported.
After Georgia’s exhibition, a man flirts with Zoe, and she proudly says she has a girlfriend.Gradient 3. The Challenge / Weakness Gradient
Denial: Zoe’s mother hires a private detective. Even with pictures showing her with Paula, she rages and denies it.
Challenge: to get over it and accept she also likes women.
Weakness: her prejudice doesn’t allow her to be happy.
Anger: James disappears as usual; Zoe’s feelings for Paula intensify. Zoe’s rude to a woman who flirts with her.
Challenge: Zoe struggles with her feelings/beliefs.
Weakness: indecisive, naive. Unable to decide by herself.
Bargaining: Zoe leaves temporarily with Georgia, and gets busier with work. Her mother has a breakdown, and she’s back to live with her.
Challenge: How to leave peacefully with her mother. She’s close to getting a deposit to buy her new flat.
Weakness: Submissive. Zoe still doesn’t want to upset her mother.
Challenge: to present a project
Weakness: unsure if she can make it
Acceptance: During a kidnap attempt, Zoe kisses Paula after being shot in front of her distressed mother. Paula is deported. During Georgia’s gallery opening night, Zoe meets a new woman.
Challenge: Zoe must live independently, without her mother’s shadow, and be free to be herself.
Weakness: She still loves James.
6. What is the Transformational Structure of Your Story?
Mini-Movie 1 Status Quo and Call to Adventure
Zoe dreams she makes love to a woman while her mother watches. She wakes up with James by her side. She loves James—or thinks she loves—but bachelor James doesn’t want to have a more serious relationship with her. Casual sex is fine for him.
She’s an interior designer and has a job at a decor store. Paula lent her money to create her website, starting her freelance career as a freelancer. Paula is lesbian; Zoe fell for her but is still resistant to accepting it. She struggles with her prejudice, realising that she may be bisexual.
Georgia is the only one who knows about Paula and Zoe’s feelings toward James. Zoe hides her relationship with Paula from her other two girlfriends, Nina and Claire. When they all meet in a nightclub and Paula arrives, Zoe gives an excuse and leaves.
Her controlling mother, Katrina, is suspicious of Zoe’s relationship with a woman, confirmed when she received photos from a private detective she hired.
Katrina shows it to Zoe, who denies it. They argue badly, and Zoe trips over Katrina’s cat food bowl and hurts herself (she hates her mother’s cat).
When Zoe leaves home, someone takes pictures of her.
Zoe goes to the cemetery where her uncle is buried. She talks to him, wishing he was there to give her strength. It shows he was born on the First of July 19XX.
Call to adventure – inciting incident
Mini-Movie 2 Locked Into Conflict
Zoe goes to a gay pub, and Paula is there (the nightclub is hers?). Zoe tries to end up this relationship; she tells Paula she likes men. Paula says Zoe needs to follow her feelings. They make love.
Zoe arrives home, and the church priest is there; her mother calls him to talk to her, but Zoe argues with Katrina, gives an excuse and leaves for work.
Zoe asks for Georgia’s help as working from home is difficult—her mother doesn’t leave her alone. Georgia questions Zoe why she doesn’t tell the truth to her mother. Zoe says she doesn’t want to let her mother down, and for now, she will keep things as they are.
Zoe’s boss discovers that Zoe made a landscape for one of their clients and doesn’t like it. She asks for a percentage of the job (in a conversation with the client, Zoe tells her she also does landscaping, which is why the client contracted her instead of the business owner). If Zoe wants to keep her job, she can’t do this anymore. She’s fired (?).
Georgia tells Zoe to contact the client and ask for a Google Review when the client makes a new proposal to her. Zoe has a meeting with a new client and gets excited about her new project.
Nina calls Zoe desperate, and they meet. She tells Zoe she’s pregnant but doesn’t want to go ahead with the pregnancy. Zoe struggles with helping her friend because she’s against abortion.
Zoe spends the weekend with Paula in her house in the hills. Someone hidden takes some pictures of the two.
Katrina calls, telling her that the cat is sick and needs to go to the vet. She needs help and cries like a baby over the phone. Zoe returns against her will.
Turning Point: Locked in.
Mini-Movie 3 — Hero Tries to Solve Problem But Fails.
Zoe arrives, and Katrina’s depressed. The cat had to be put down. Zoe notices her mother’s vulnerability and feels sorry for her. She holds her, and Katrina cries, embracing Zoe, who returns. Katrina apologises for being the mother she is and promises she will be a better one.
Zoe meets with a new client; it seems he’s a well-known actor or filmmaker. A bit of mystery in there, but it’s a big project which puts Zoe’s confidence in question. She’s not sure if she’s the right one for this project.
James calls Zoe, and they meet. They go to a concert and have dinner. When they’re about to leave the restaurant, they meet Paula, who approaches a bit angry and jealous. Zoe doesn’t know what to do. They have a bit of an argument; James doesn’t understand much and is rude to Paula, asking her to leave. An awkward moment and Zoe leaves with James.
Turning Point: Standard ways fail.
Mini-Movie 4 Hero Forms a Plan
Paula questions Zoe about her feelings for her. It’s now or never; she can’t have her and James simultaneously. It’s too convenient for her. Paula tells Zoe she loves her, who cries, not knowing what to do. They kiss.
The federal police come to Zoe’s house. They’re after a drug dealer who has connections to Paula. Zoe’s in the spotlight as the police force her to say she’s Paula’s girlfriend in front of Katrina.
Katrina kicks Zoe out of the house. Zoe begs her not to do this—she reminisces what happened to her uncle.
Katrina demands that Zoe break up with Paula to live in the house, return to the church to be cured, and live a normal life. But Zoe leaves and goes temporarily with Georgia.
Turning Point: Plan backfires.
Mini-Movie 5 Hero Retreats & Antagonist Wins
Zoe looks for answers and learns more about Paula’s obscure past, but Paula denies she’s in the drug trafficking game. Zoe doesn’t believe it and thinks it’s better to break up and forget about everything.
Georgia believes Paula is telling the truth and tells Zoe she’s been ridiculous.
The date arrives, and Zoe takes Nina to the abortion clinic. When they leave, Zoe hides from someone she knows is her mother’s friend. Nina notices it and thanks her friend for being supportive, even going against her will. Zoe spends the night at Nina’s house. Zoe rethinks her religious beliefs and sexuality. Something is changing.
Juan appears to Paula and blackmails her. She threatens him to stay away from Zoe and not to mess with her.
The feds are back, and Katrina helps them to catch Paula; unknowingly, she’s putting Zoe in danger.
Turning Point: The decision to change.
Mini-Movie 6 Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan!
Juan reaches Zoe pretending to be a client. He’s charming and flirts with her in the meeting. Zoe is excited about this new project.
Someone takes pictures of them.
Paula suddenly appears, an awkward moment between them. Zoe introduces Juan to Paula, who pretends to be polite as Juan. Juan makes sure Paula understands he’s not kidding; Paula is concerned.
Zoe and Paula argue; she tells Paula to forget about her, arguing about religion, how Katrina controls Zoe, etc. In the end, they kiss. Her feelings for Paula are stronger.
Zoe goes to the cemetery, where she meets Georgia. It’s the First of July, her uncle’s ‘birthday celebration’, a habit kept by Georgia that Zoe wasn’t aware of. Georgia puts some flowers on his grave, and they talk about him.
Zoe returns home to pick up something important to keep working from Georgia’s house when Katrina has a breakdown. She begs Zoe to return home. Zoe feels sorry for Katrina and decides to stay.
On an ordinary day, Zoe returns from a client meeting, and she spots the priest in a car with a man. She sees them kissing. She follows them, and the priest sees her. She asks questions about God’s thoughts about homosexuals. A big revelation to Zoe.
The priest goes to their home after a few days and says he’s leaving the church. He doesn’t say to Katrina what’s the real reason but for Zoe. He tells her that God loves us all the way we are, and he had enough of living hidden. Still, not everyone needs to know his reasons.
Feeling relieved, she goes to the nightclub and looks for Paula. She’s ready to say she loves her, but when they meet, Paula is with another woman. In anger, Zoe leaves.
On her way home (or leaving the nightclub), Zoe meets Juan ‘unexpectedly’. She vents her feelings, and he charmingly flirts. They spend the night together in his house.
Turning Point: The ultimate failure.
Mini-Movie 7 Crisis & Climax
Zoe wakes up and gets ready to leave when she hears Paula’s voice. Both are surprised to see each other at Juan’s house. Zoe questions Paula about what she’s doing in there, and Paula warns Juan again. Zoe realises what’s happening (a dangerous situation) and tries to leave, but one of Juan’s men stops her.
To think better about this, create a feasible tension for Zoe to realise how dangerous Juan can be. Paula may tell Zoe somehow for her to leave, to hide, go somewhere safe. She has something to do and doesn’t want Zoe to be hurt. But something goes wrong.
Zoe arrives home, and someone breaks into their house, taking her mother hostage. Zoe realises the danger and tells the man to take her instead.
The federal police come out of nowhere; Paula is shot, and Zoe rushes to hold her. The police take Juan and his men as prisoners. Katrina sees Zoe’s desperation about Paula and embraces her while the ambulance takes Paula away.
Paula is deported to Spain upon recovering from a gunshot wound.
Turning Point: Apparent victory.
Mini-Movie 8 New Status Quo
Zoe and Katrina reconcile, even though Katrina doesn’t accept her daughter’s sexual choice. Katrina loves her but won’t repeat the same mistake made with her uncle, who committed suicide.
Zoe moves to her new flat. James contacts her, but Zoe ignores him, saying she’s busy for the first time.
Zoe hands over the decoration project to the celebrity/filmmaker, and she receives another job proposal.
Three months later, Zoe receives a surprising gift from Paula. Georgia’s exhibition blooms, and Zoe tells her what’s the news.
Zoe flies to Barcelona (or Fiji), where she meets Paula (still working on it).
7. How are the “Old Ways” Challenged?
What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?
A. Challenge through Questioning
Georgia senses that Zoe is confused about having feelings with Paula because of religion and teases her about how she feels about other ‘sins’ she commits.
GEORGIA
Hun, are you talking about religion? Fuck that.
Do you really believe that this is not okay? Let
me ask you something. Do you feel guilty
when you masturbate?
ZOE
Whoah!
GEORGIA
Don’t whoah me. It’s the same bloody
thing!
B. Challenge by Counterexample
Zoe’s late uncle. She blames herself for taking so long to contact her uncle.
Georgia, a confident trans woman, is happy with her decision and doesn’t care what people think of her. Zoe wonders when she will have the courage to free herself.
Katrina refers to Georgia as he/him.
C. Challenge by “Should Work, But Doesn’t”
Zoe goes out for dinner with James, but it doesn’t end as she wants. She can’t stop thinking about Paula.
D. Challenge through Living Metaphor
When Zoe safes a butterfly means she needs to do this with herself.
How are You Presenting Insights through Profound Moments?
A. Action delivers insight
Zoe sees Paula with another woman and sleeps with Juan – she’s jealous.
Whenever Katrina caresses Zoe or embraces her, even if for a short time, it’s noticeable that Zoe enjoys it: it shows she longs for her mother’s love.
Zoe praises her mother’s artwork, and both discuss minor adjustments: it shows Katrina starting to have confidence in herself. Their relationship improves.
B. Conflict delivers insight
Zoe takes Nina to the abortion clinic – going against her religious beliefs to support her friend.
When Zoe notices her mother is in danger, she’s the first to step up to save her life/defend her.
C. Irony delivers insight
Zoe sees the priest with a man – is what she feels for Paula really a sin?
Despite being a merciless assassin, Juan makes the cross sign whenever he kills the enemy – he’s religious.
Georgias gets punched once by a man who always bullies her. When he’s with another group of friends, he Teases Georgia, and they get into a fight. Georgia’s testosterone comes up, and she fights the man—but without losing her poise.
Insight: a Brazilian proverb: “Never poke a jaguar with a short stick”.
What are the Most Profound Lines of the Movie?
Pattern A: Height of the Emotion
Pattern B: Build Meaning Over Multiple ScenesKatrina comes to the Bible in her hands and gives it to Zoe to swear on it that she’s not a lesbian. Zoe hesitates, almost doing it but slaps the bible and tells Katrina to go to hell.
How Do You Leave Us With A Profound Ending?
A. Deliver The Profound Truth ProfoundlyZoe and Katrina are safe, and both embrace. Katrina tells Zoe she loves the way she is and apologies for everything she’s done for her.
B. Lead Characters Ending Represents The Change
C. Payoff Key Setups
D. Surprising, But InevitableWhen Zoe gets her big contract and someone connected to her client asks her for a date, although she’s tempted to accept, she tells him, ‘I think my girlfriend won’t like this.’
E. Leave Us with a Profound Parting Image/LineWhen Paula tells Zoe she loves her, Paula says, ‘Now it’s the time when you do the blank face and don’t say anything.’ Same line Zoe told James, but how on earth Paula says the same thing?
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Andrea Cabanas, Height of the Emotion
I agree with Terrell. I changed and still have to change a few scenes in my script to make the emotional impact hit stronger in particular moments. I even created two new scenes, which changed a bit the course of my script.
1. Katrina asks Zoe to swear on the Bible that she’s not seeing Paula.
Zoe is lying to Katrina, and Katrina knows it; that’s why she makes her daughter swear on the bible. But Katrina’s also in doubt to know if she’s ready to take the news because she doesn’t have the courage to kick her daughter out of the house.
2. Katrina and Zoe argue about her uncle.
Katrina tells Zoe she doesn’t want her to end like her uncle, who was sick (gay) and committed suicide because of it. Zoe tries to make her mother see that he killed himself because she didn’t support her brother because of her husband. Zoe tells Katrina she was the only person he had and he felt lonely, forgotten, and it was the lack of her love that made him sad and depressed.
3. Zoe tells Katrina she’ll leave, and Katrina has a breakdown
Katrina feels for the first time that she is losing her daughter and breaks everything she can in the house. Katrina uses emotional blackmail to persuade Zoe to do what she wants.
4. Nina tells Zoe she’s pregnant and doesn’t want to go ahead with it.
Zoe is against abortion (religious prejudice), which is the first time Zoe faces such a situation. When one of her best friends needs her support, she finds herself with no way out but goes against her prejudice to support her friend.
5. Zoe sees the priest with a man.
At the gay nightclub, both lock eyes. The priest rushes to leave, and Zoe goes behind him. Zoe talks about what God thinks about it, if they’re really sinners, and why this happens. A few days later, the priest goes to Zoe’s house. Away from Katrina, he tells her he’s leaving the church for the better, as he can’t stand it anymore. And he’s keen to take the risks that might come through this (talking about heaven and hell).
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Andrea Cabanas, Delivery Irony.
What I learned from this was that while brainstorming for this exercise, I discovered that I missed an important Old Way of my character. When applying irony, the scene made more sense; hence it gets more emotional and powerful.
1. Paula is shot, and Zoe’s distressed, rushing to hold her. The paramedics take Paula, and the police are around. Zoe’s alone staring at the ambulance leaving when she sees Katrina. They stare at each other for a moment, and Zoe rushes to embrace her mother, who, for the first time, tells Zoe she loves her. Zoe finally gets the embrace she longed for from her mother (her need) but loses Paula (her want), who’s deported to Spain.
Insight: Zoe’s relationship with Katrina gets better.
2. Georgia realises that Zoe still has a few prejudices because of her religious upbringing, so she teases her friend about having sex before marriage and masturbation.
Insight: it doesn’t make sense to think that those actions don’t make you go to hell, but having sex with a woman does.
3. Juan blackmails Paula for revenge. She is the woman of his life, and he doesn’t accept her betrayal (about business in Mexico). When he realizes he’s lost her, he’d rather see her dead than live without her knowing she’s with someone else.
Insight: he still loves her despite her betrayal.
4. Despite being a merciless assassin, Juan makes the sign of the cross whenever he kills the enemy.
Insight: he’s religious.
5. Georgias gets punched once by a man who always bullies her. When he’s with another group of friends, he Teases Georgia, and they get into a fight. Georgia’s testosterone comes up, and she fights the man—but without losing her poise.
Insight: a Brazilian proverb: “Never poke a jaguar with a short stick”.
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Andrea Cabanas, Delivers Insights Through Conflict.
I learned that by creating conflicts, you also connect your characters to the audience in a powerful way.
1. Zoe accepts who she is
I want to show her rethinking what’s wrong/right regarding religion that so far has held her from accepting herself.
Conflict: a visual confrontation between Zoe and the priest.
Deliver the insight: when the priest comes to Zoe’s house and tells Katrina that he’s leaving the church (but for other reasons). Zoe still respects his silence.
Confident
Zoe believes in herself as an intelligent woman—she has a voice.
Conflict: an argument with her mother.
Delivery: Zoe tries to show her mother her projects, but Katrina is resilient in accepting that her daughter can be successful. Katrina still thinks that as a woman, she needs to find a man, have kids and have no career. But Zoe will show her the contrary and convinces her mother how good she is; moreover, Zoe will push Katrina to paint more and put her artwork in the community art gallery.
Controls over her finance
Conflict: temptation – a trip to Bali
Delivery: there’s a public holiday coming in, and her friends are planning a trip to Bali. Although not expensive, Georgia convinces Zoe that even $800 can make a difference in saving money to buy her flat.
Unprejudiced
Conflict: mother is rude even with kids
Delivery: Katrina and Zoe are in the market when some kids sell lemonade to raise funds for something. One of the boys looks like a girl, and Katrina makes a prejudiced comment. Zoe argues and says, ‘They are just kids and need to be loved.’
2. Near-death experience, getting lost somewhere, sudden loss of memory, the beginning of a war, and being forced to migrate.
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Andrea Cabanas, Turning Insights into Actions.
What I learned from this assignment was that this process is easier when you follow the steps. I just had to jump on previous notes to brainstorm the actions not created yet.
– Relationship with her mother improves: once she gets excited with new projects coming in, Zoe shows her mother her progress. Also, she encourages her to work on her artwork and place one of them on the opening night of Georgia’s first exhibition.
– Confident: on a meeting with a new client and other professionals, she realises she loves what she does, and that she’s on the right path. At first, she feels uncomfortable surrounded by important people, but when they start paying attention to her ideas, she feels confident and leads the meeting successfully. They might hire her as a new employee.
– Zoe starts to save money and pay attention to her finance. When seeing the money getting into her bank account, she starts planning to buy a new flat. Even start seeing places without having enough money for the deposit, just a way to throw into the universe, and you’ll get what you want (something like that)
– She stops battling some religious pre-concepts that torment her: when she sees the church pastor with a man in a gay nightclub, she questions if she is a real sinner for liking women. The pastor will come to their house, and she will sense his torment—she gets empathy? Until the day he leaves the church and the city, nobody knows the real reason (except her, but she respects his silence).
– She’s not prejudiced anymore. Zoe accepts who she is with no more prejudices, also helped by Georgia’s words. She may go to the Mardi Grass Parade (TBC), or when meeting a new person, she would not be afraid to say she’s broken up with her girlfriend (instead of lying by saying it was a boyfriend).
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Andrea Cabanas, Seabiscuit Analysis
Apart from seeing it’s a brilliant movie, I learned how powerful a small action could be to show big emotion.
– When Tom tames the horse at the very beginning of the movie. It’s a beautiful moment showing how man and animal can communicate.
– Tom approaches the men who’re trying to put the horse down. The beginning of ‘giving a second chance’.
– When Tom and Charles have a conversation at a bonfire, Charles asks him why he’s trying to fix the horse if he can’t run anymore. Tom tells him, “You don’t throw a whole life away because you bend up a little,” which will be used again in the other two moments in the movie.
– Toms sees Red talking to the horse while walking him. It seems he sees himself because it shows a bond between man and the animal.
– Biscuit appears for the first time and looks into Tom’s eye. It’s powerful the connection between the two.
– Next, it shows how Biscuit was taken from the mother. As an animal lover, I could see how harsh this industry is by splitting the family – and just because he was little. Similar to how Red was separated from his family (something I only realised after reading Terrell’s answers!).
– Biscuit is quieter/relaxed by having another horse and one dog as new companions.
– Red asks for some money, and Charles gives him $20, showing the bond between the two.
– When they lose the race, Red tells Charles he’s blind in one eye. The truth coming out is a decisive moment, putting the stakes higher.
– They train Biscuit in the darkness; Red says he can’t see anything, but Tom tells him not to worry because Biscuit can see. They show darkness under the noise of Biscuit racing, and slowly, their surroundings start to form as Red’s good eye begins to see through the night.
– Every time Charles plays with his son’s toy always shows his grief.
– In the hospital bed, Red tells George to let Biscuit see the eyes of the other horse because when he’s “Head to head, he looks him in the eye” and says, “It’s not in his feet, George; it’s right here (heart).” Such a strong connection between Red and Biscuit.
– Red and Biscuit meet, both with hurt legs. The beginning of a new start for both of them.
– Charles is hesitant to let Red ride Biscuit in Santa Anita’s race until his wife senses his fear and finished his sentence by saying, “… And he could die?”
– In the final race, they’re left behind, and George waits for them. Biscuit looks in the eye of the horse, Red feels confident by George’s words, and Biscuit runs for victory.
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Andrea Cabanas, Living Metaphors.
I learned it’s a great way to see things from a point of view I haven’t seen before. It’s been a bit difficult for me to find other ways. Since the beginning of this course, my main character changed considerably. I’m in the process of rewriting scenes, changing them more than I thought I would.
Challenges – should work but doesn’t
Zoe goes on a date with a guy. She’s enjoying it until she sees a gay couple nearby (or someone else), gives an excuse, and leaves the guy behind.
Challenges – Living Metaphor
– Zoe finds a butterfly on the ground, where it can easily be stepped on, carefully places it in her hand and releases it in a safer area. A stranger sees it and says something about ‘let it free’, making Zoe think about her own life.
– Zoe sees the pastor of their church with a man and questions who’s the real sinner.
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Andrea Cabañas, Counterexamples.
1. Challenges:
– Katrina makes Zoe swear to the Bible that she’s not gay.
A woman flirts with Zoe, but she’s rude to her– Georgia questions Zoe about why she feels ‘weird’ toward Paula. “… Hello! I’m a trans woman, your uncle’s ex, and I believe you don’t have issues with that. Or do you?”
– Georgia teases Zoe about religion. “Hun, are you talking about religion? Fuck that. Do you really believe that this is not okay? Let me ask you something. Do you feel guilty when you masturbate?”
– Georgia questions Zoe about James. “Wasn’t expecting it? You know he had a girlfriend. He always lied to you. Or what do you think he does when he disappears?”
Counterexamples:
– Zoe gets mad when she sees Paula with another woman and sleeps with Juan.
– When Zoe tells Georgia about Paula being a drug dealer, Georgia teases her about being the new queen of the Sinaloa Cartel.
– Even knowing Juan is the man the police are looking after, Zoe doesn’t run away.
– Katrina refers to Georgia as he/him.
2. I believe that having Georgia, a trans woman, question Zoe about her feelings and attitudes will help Zoe to see the world differently and don’t be afraid (or ashamed of) to come out as bisexual to her family.
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Andrea Cabañas, Old Ways Challenge Chart
I learned there are more layers to be discovered.
ASS 2
Old Way: Prejudiced
Challenge: Zoe feels attracted to Paula but unsure about letting her experience the feeling; she still believes it’s wrong and doesn’t want to disappoint the mother.
O: Insecure, fear of taking risks
C: Her mother’s rude comments about homosexuality make Zoe reflect on her life. She knows her late uncle was not a criminal for being gay, nor was her best friend, Georgia.
O: submissive
C: Zoe starts showing her mother is not always right; they can succeed professionally in separate ways.
O: Liar
C: Zoe denies getting involved with Paula. She’s rude when a woman flirts with her. James is a big challenge—does she loves him, or is it a way to escape her feelings for women?
O: Spendthrift
C: if Zoe doesn’t stop spending money on extra things, she will never have enough money to be financially independent, leaving her mother’s house and buying her house.
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Andrea Cabanas, 12 Angry Men Analysis.
Assignment 1
Old Ways
– Pre-concepts make some of them not see the possible truth
– Prejudice, selfishness, narcissism
– Indecisive, submissive
– Anger, guilt
– Grudge, resentment
Challenges
The challenges are constant when Davis starts to share his doubts with the other jurors. He questions the testimonies given and tries to show that people can make mistakes through ‘his facts’. The questions about the length taken by the train, the eyeglasses on the female witness’s nose, and the similar knife presented. After the second vote, not only Davis but others start to question things and share their own beliefs. The strongest one for me was the man whose son hit him in the past; the scene where he threw his wallet and saw his photo with his son again was powerful.
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Andrea Cabanas, Designing a Profound Ending
I learned more about placing the right set ups to have meaningful payoffs at the end, and how important is to bare this in mind when writing your story.
1. <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>You must be who you are and love whoever you want regardless of gender.
2. <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Katrina feels her daughter’s distress and, for the first time, tells her she has her blessings to love whoever she wants. Alone at the resort, Zoe lies when a woman flirts with her but quickly regrets it and tells the truth. Zoe finds herself free to be whoever she wants and allows herself to be with the new person she just met.
<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>3. <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Zoe lies to Katrina about Paula and, in the end, kisses Paula in front of her. Georgia tells Katrina to place her art in her community art gallery. James cancels a trip, and Zoe tells him off for the first time.
<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>4. <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Zoe loses her lover as Paula is deported after being shot. James suddenly appears and invites Zoe on a trip; she’s ready to go, but he cancels it at the last minute. Katrina senses her daughter’s anger and tells Zoe to travel alone. There, Zoe feels free to be who she is for the first time.
5. <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Katrina tells Zoe over the phone, “I won’t interfere in your life anymore. You’re free to be who you are.”
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Andrea Cabanas, Connection with Audience
What I learned from this is the importance of giving different traits to your characters to make them believable, also helping the story to be more attractive to the audience.
Characters: Zoe and Georgia.
Zoe
A. Relatability: Zoe never cared much about savings, and now, she struggles to have independence at thirty-five. As a teenager, she realized her beliefs differed from the church she used to go to. Single, she falls for a man who doesn’t want to commit to her; she suffers.
B. Intrigue: she goes to gay pubs, but she is still ashamed to admit she also likes women. Who’s taking pictures of her with Paula? Why she still lives with her mother? What happened to her uncle? Why does her mother treat her the way she does?
C: Empathy: every year, she brings flowers to her uncle’s grave on his birthday, accompanied by Georgia. Zoe suffers when she sees Paula with another woman. Despite her bad relationship with her mother, Zoe misses her mother’s embrace.
D: Likability: whenever she can, Zoe encourages her mother to follow her dream of being an artist. She has a good sense of humour.
GeorgiaA. Relatability: Georgia wants to be accepted by her community as a migrant and a transgender. After years of the passing of her partner, she finds love again.
B. Intrigue: Why did she leave her home country? Will she have her bottom surgery? Who is her new lover?
C: Empathy: Georgia suffered prejudice for being a gay man in her hometown, and then for being a migrant in a country she didn’t speak the language. Over the years, she fought racism and homophobia; she transitioned to being a woman and became a renowned artist who help children with gender dysphoria through the arts.
D: Likability: she has an extreme sense of humour; her laugh is contagious. Although ultra-feminine, sometimes she uses her masculine side (without losing her poise) to defend herself or Zoe from bullying situations.
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Andrea Cabanas, Transformational Structure.
What I learned from this assignment. I need to be honest here, I had a completely different structure, and now, I’m struggling to work with the Mini-Movie Method, unfortunately.
This course is helping me immensely to make my characters/story greater, but I can see it will take a longer time for me to do this. As it’s written, “Don’t stress out on any of this”, I decided to take it easy on myself for now, returning to this assignment later.
So far, I have:
A talented but insecure woman faces her prejudices and controlling mother to achieve the freedom she needs to be her true self.
Emotional Gradient: Forced Change, Zoe
Mini Movie Structure 1
Zoe’s dream/nightmare. She struggles with her prejudiced feeling that she’s bisexual. Her mother’s suspicions are confirmed when she received photos from a private detective she hired. Still, Zoe denies it. Someone takes pictures of her when she’s on the streets.
Change Agent: Georgia
Transformational character: Zoe
Old ways: prejudiced, submissive, liar.
Challenge: to accept she can love both men and women
Weakness: submissive to her mother, doesn’t want to let her down.
Mini Movie 2 – Locked into Conflict
A new client gets in touch about a renovation in their house. Zoe tries to break up with Paula, but she can’t. Zoe lies to her mother; she’s rude when a woman flirts with her. She vents her agony in kickboxing classes.
The federal police come to Zoe and question her about Paula, who has connections with a trafficker in the Sinaloa cartel. Katrina kicks her out of the house and lives temporarily with Georgia; Zoe tries to focus on her career. She doesn’t believe in Paula anymore. James appears suddenly, and Zoe tries to forget Paula.
Old ways: still underuse her sexuality.
Challenge: to live independently, to be financially independent.
Weakness: still falls on her mother’s ‘emotional traps’; doesn’t know how to say no.
Mini Movie 3 – Hero tries to solve problem – but fails
Katrina has an emotional breakdown and manipulates Zoe to move back in with her, setting up rules for a better coexistence. Zoe helps Georgia to organise her first art exhibition.
Mini Movie 4 – Hero Forms a new plan
Zoe’s new business starts to take off. Another potential client, the promises of a career boost. Zoe meets with him and starts the project.
Mini Movie 5 – Hero retreats & the antagonism prevails
Paula finds out the client is her enemy. Georgia warns her to be cautious. Katrina helps the feds catch Paula.
Mini Movie 6 – Hero’s bigger, better plan
Mini Movie 7 – Crisis & Climax
Zoe finds herself at a dead end when she and her mother suffer a kidnapping. After the chaotic event, Paula is deported to Mexico upon recovering from a gunshot wound. Zoe and Katrina reconcile, even though Katrina doesn’t accept her daughter’s sexual choice. Katrina loves her and won’t repeat the same mistake made with her uncle, who committed suicide.
Mini Movie 8 – New Status Quo
Zoe moves to her new flat. At Georgia’s exhibition, Zoe meets someone else. Although she still has strong feelings for Paula, she is confident and free to fall in love with any other woman.
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Andrea Cabañas, The Three Gradients.
Interesting that I did my exercise at first with the wrong Emotional Gradient (my bad!), and I struggled a bit to find the answers. Just before submitting my answers, I realized I was going on the wrong path. Once I changed the Emotional Gradient, everything clicked instantly and made more sense to the story I want to tell. What did I learn from this? It’s really important to use the right gradient to make your characters grow.
I chose Forced Change.
Denial: Zoe’s mother hires a private detective. Even with pictures showing her with Paula, she rages and denies it.
Challenge: to get over it and accept she also likes women.
Weakness: her prejudice doesn’t allow her to be happy.
Anger: James disappears as usual; Zoe’s feelings for Paula intensify. Zoe’s rude to a woman who flirts with her.
Challenge: Zoe struggles with her feelings/beliefs.
Weakness: indecisive, naive. Unable to make a decision by herself.
Bargaining: Zoe leaves temporarily with Georgia, and gets busier with work. Her mother has a breakdown, and she’s back to live with her.
Challenge: How to leave peacefully with her mother. She’s close to getting a deposit to buy her new flat.
Weakness: Submissive. Zoe still doesn’t want to upset her mother.
Acceptance: During a kidnap attempt, Zoe kisses Paula after being shot in front of her distressed mother. Paula is deported. During Georgia’s gallery opening night, Zoe meets a new woman.
Challenge: Zoe must live independently, without her mother’s shadow, and be free to be herself.
Weakness: She still loves James.
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Andrea Cabañas, Lead Characters
In each assignment, I learn more layers of my characters. This class, in particular, made me see things I hadn’t seen before, which gave more depth to the relationship between my main character and antagonist.
1. Logline: A talented but insecure woman faces her prejudices and controlling mother to achieve the freedom she needs to be her true self.
2. Change Agent: Georgia Miranda, Zoe/main character’s best friend. <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Her vision: as a free-spirited trans woman, she belies everyone’s free to love whoever they want regardless of gender. Georgia’s a former partner of Zoe’s uncle; they were together in difficult times, especially when he was banned from his family because of his homosexuality, something it’s currently happening with Zoe. Although he was an LGBTQI activist and supported her in her gender-affirming surgery, he missed the family’s lack of love and understanding and killed himself. Georgia will do anything to make her friend accept her sexuality and not suffer as her uncle did in the past.
3. Transformable Character: Zoe Muller. She leaves home at seventeen and lives in another city with her uncle, who is gay. It took a while for her to get used to her new life and her uncle’s friends. Curiosity arises in relating to other women, but she never allowed herself out of prejudice, despite understanding and loving her uncle. As an adult, she falls in love with a woman, but something in her prevents her from giving herself to the relationship and accepting that she is bisexual.
4. The Oppression: religious beliefs. Zoe had a restricted upbringing, and her family was fundamentalist Christian. Even though she left the church and her family as a teenager, she still holds certain prejudices, such as abortion legalization and homosexuality, even though her dear uncle is gay (the irony).
5. Betraying Character: Zoe’s mother, Katrina Muller. She left the same church and escaped her violent husband, but she is still a genuine Christian. Katrina controls her daughter in adulthood, making Zoe feel guilty for having desires for another woman. She manipulates her daughter and has an abnormal power of control over her daughter, even though Zoe is a thirty-five-year-old woman. Katrina investigates her daughter to ensure she isn’t doing wrong and goes so far as to say that she loves Zoe but will never accept her the way she is.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by andrea cabanas. Reason: Something wrong with font when copied to the forum
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Andrea Cabañas – Transformational Journey
I learned with this assignment that I discovered new flaws & traits in my character that will help the story’s conflict.
1. A talented but insecure woman faces her prejudices and controlling mother to achieve the freedom she needs to be her true self.
2. Old ways:
– Prejudiced, judgemental, fear of taking risks and telling the truth, shopaholic, and submissive.
3. New ways:
– Unprejudiced, confident, and proactive, she’s true to herself, proves she’s worthy to her mother and manages to control her finances better.
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Hi everyone,
I’m Andrea Cabañas, Brazilian-Australian living in Australia for the past 15 years.
I’m a former TV/film producer. I wrote/produced/directed a short film, worked as a screenwriter assistant and wrote a TV show pilot that ended up going on Youtube long ago. I’ve written two unproduced short scripts in Australia and five proof of concept scripts (POC). Recently, I wrote my first feature film script and finished another draft of my 2nd novel.
I love a good drama and the effect some movies have on me after seeing a good film. When I finished the first draft of my feature script, I noticed that it lacked depth; I just tossed my characters into random situations. I hope this course will help me find the profoundness I need to make this (and others) a successful movie.
I’m a vegetarian, have no kids, and am happily married to a man who supports me — even when this means firing me from my position as the manager of our business so I can have the time needed to do what I love: to write my stories (and make it happen!).
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by andrea cabanas.
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Andrea Cabañas, First Three Decisions.
1. What is your profound truth?
Don’t be ashamed for loving someone of the same gender. Accept who you are and be free to find love.
2. What is the change your movie will cause with an audience?
Once we accept who we are and feel comfortable with it, we can find love and happiness without being judgemental.
3. What is your Entertainment Vehicle that you will tell this story through?
Embellished true story
What I learned from this exercise is knowing how easy it is to lose a few details while writing our stories/scripts, details that can completely change the core of the story. Those exercises are helping me a lot with my script. Cheers for that.
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Andrea Cabañas, Analysis of Groundhog Day.
I learned how gratifying it is to see a movie with different eyes, discovering details that I had never paid attention to while watching a movie.
1. What is the CHANGE this movie is about? What is the Transformational Journey of this movie?
From being an egocentric and arrogant weatherman to being someone who cares for people and can find love.
2. Lead characters:
Who is the Change Agent (the one causing the change) and what makes this the right character to cause the change? <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Rita. Unknowingly, Phil always tries to allure/impress her but fails, but in the end, he realises he falls for her and starts doing the right thing.
Who is the Transformable Character (the one who makes the change) and what makes them the right character to deliver this profound journey? <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>I think the old man, the beggar, helps him with his transformation when he ‘dies twice’.
What is the Oppression? The repetition of the day over and over.
3. How are we lured into the profound journey? What causes us to connect with this story?
We see Phil’s struggles daily; slightly, he changes some behaviours, but when we believe he’s getting better, he gets worse, his ego is bigger, and he still behaves in his old ways.
He tries to tell Rita, who doesn’t believe in him;
We also see Rita’s changes and cheer for him to change, but he fails.
He tries to kill himself a few times and feels miserable.
After the death of the beggar, his change is somewhat instant.4. Looking at the character(s) who are changed the most, what is the profound journey? From “old ways” to “new way of being.” Identify their old way: Identify their new way at the conclusion.
Phil, from being egocentric and arrogant to someone who cares about others and can love someone.
5. What is the gradient of the change? What steps did the Transformational Character go through as they were changing?
Phil tries to do different things but in better ways; i.e. as he got stuck on this day, he starts taking advantage of it to become a better man.
6. How is the “old way” challenged? What beliefs are challenged that cause the main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?
Every time he meets the same person on his way, his patience is challenged, and he needs to discover how to deal with it.
His arrogance, believing he’s the best in everything and the only one who matters.
When alluring Rita and she says something he hasn’t heard, he gives her the wrong line and everything changes.
When he asks Rita that he wants to talk seriously, she replies, “I don’t know, can you?”
He asks her to slap him on his face and she does without thinking twice.
When asking Rita about the man of her dreams, she describes someone completely different.7. What are the most profound moments of the movie?
When Phil tries to tell Rita what’s going on with him, she doesn’t believe him.
She almost constantly tells him subliminally that he’s egocentric through a few dialogues (when he wants to have a more serious conversation with her)
When he notices and helps the beggar for the first time and starts caring for him. When he dies for the second time, Phil tries to revive him.
Rita believes in him for the first time, and after the bet, they go to his room, and she decides to stay—it seems that she was the one who made the change at that moment.
When he wakes up at the end, Rita is with him.8. What are the most profound lines of the movie?
Sir Walter Scott’s poem.
The radio guys: “Will Phil gonna come out to see his shadow?”
Phil to Rita and Larry in the cafe: “I’m not going back to Pittsburg” (he knows he won’t).
Phil to the psychiatry: “There won’t be tomorrow.”
9. How does the ending payoff the setups of this movie?
Phil finally learns that he needs to be humble and take advantage of this ‘curse’ in a better way, which in the end, helps him.
While he was still doing the wrong things (slapping Ned, not paying attention to the beggar, trying to lure women, still being arrogant), he would get stuck on February 2nd. The moment he became humble, even Rita changed, falling for him and changing the course of the story for a happy ending.10. What is the Profound Truth of this movie?
To love someone, you must be true to yourself (and humble).
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Andrea Cabanas. I agree to the terms of this release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Andrea Cabañas, Ready for Script Exchange Version 1
I’m ready to exchange scripts. Not sure how it’s going to happen as I’m replying to this assignment with a delay of 4 days, but if someone still has the time for it, please let me know.
It was a pleasure being part of this course. I hope there’s still time to enrol on the Rewrite Class as it has already started.
Thank you from Australia!
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Andrea Cabañas, Chronological Edit.
What I learned with this: since lesson 26, I’ve been observing my story in different POVs, which I found very interesting and helpful to get to where I got. With this lesson, I improved more dialogues and cut other ones, making them sharper and straightforward to the point, giving the scene a better pace.
I cut/re-wrote some “series of shots” that helped a bit (I think) with passage of time (at least I get to the next draft!)—I also improved characters’ emotions toward actions (I loved doing this).
I could also see clearly where scenes didn’t flow, mainly dialogues that didn’t make more sense. AND only in the end, when I thought I didn’t have any chiché, I did realise that two of my characters were a cliche! I changed their features straight away!
I still need to work more on a scene that leads to my climax. This is the part of the script where I get a bit stuck because I always try to figure out better ways to describe the actions and make everything flow according to the tension involved. I confess this part of the script is where I feel ‘out of my comfort zone’ because there’s a bit of ‘man hunting’ involved, but I’m getting there.
My script has 113 pages, but I’m sure it will get reduced on my subsequent drafts since I wrote without mercy, without saving words.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by andrea cabanas. Reason: Forgot to mention something else!
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Andrea Cabañas, Solving Scene Problems
What I learned: apart from writing my outline on a whiteboard, this exercise helped me see clearly that some scenes didn’t have any purpose, not moving the story forward. I cut a few scenes but also had to create new ones, as I also noticed a few gaps, or should I say jumps, between scenes that missed something.
I still need to rewrite a few dialogues and work more with the timeline of my story, so I can have ‘the right length’ of time for things to happen until the turning point. I also started to play more with the way my characters respond to some events.
I noticed I used too many “montages”, and I cut three sequences of scenes that didn’t have a strong purpose to happen. Cutting them gave more pace to the story.
Still lots of work to do, but I’ll leave it to the third draft!
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Andrea Cabañas – Solving Character Problems
What I learned: reading the script focusing on characters actions makes indeed a good difference in the story development. I discovered more dimensional layers that I can add to my protagonist and other lead characters.
A. Weak protagonist or antagonist: I need to work harder on both sides. Katrina, my antagonist, needs to be meaner towards the protagonist so the willingness of leaving her mother to be independent (and finally come out) is stronger. The dialogues between them need to show more how the mother is domineering and the daughter submissive, still trapped by religious pre concepts despite considering herself a woman without prejudice. I also have to work more on both characters’ dimensionality/contradictions.
D. Characters not in action – I can definitely add more characters’ behaviour through actions instead of using too much dialogue. I also have two beats of Montage and just realised that I can easily change it to one or two scenes with action to summarise Zoe’s ‘progression’ better.
E. Protagonist journey not strong – I realised that I need to make Zoe’s journey clearer by adding more action/reaction to what’s happening in her world. I need to make it more feasible through actions and maybe by adding stronger lines in dialogues.
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Andrea Cabañas, Draft 2 Solving Structure Problems
What I learned: this assignment was crucial to my story because it showed me a few weaknesses in some parts. I even had to change my turning point and I also found a stronger meaning for the climax (I was having already a big issue with it). Amazing how ideas for dialogues made scenes stronger with the changes. I loved this exercise.
Structural changes:
ACT 1:
Opening
Zoe battles with her feelings toward Paula; don’t get the job she had applied for. Zoe’s already working with her new client and paid back Paula’s money. She tells Georgia about James and her insecurities about coming out.
Opening/Old Ways: Is this an engaging opening scene that lures us into the story?
We know straight away that Zoe had feelings for Paula and James.
Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode?
Yes – we know Zoe’s already working on a new project, wants to get on top of her finances to be free, to live on her own.
Do the “Old Ways” show up in their behaviour and dialogue?
Through James, Georgia and Katrina’s dialogues – particularly when she denies Katrina she has a relationship with Paula.
Inciting Incident
Two police investigators go to Zoe’s house to track down a drug dealer from the Sinaloa Cartel who has connections with Paula.
Inciting Incident: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey?
Katrina knows for sure, that her daughter is having a homosexual relationship. Zoe feels ashamed; it seems this revelation has more weight than learning that Paula is a drug dealer. It’s also the trigger to make Katrina act against Zoe, which propels her to kick her daughter out of the house. Zoe it’s on her own to decide what she wants in her life.
Turning Point
Paula tells Zoe that Matias is Juan, she needs to protect Zoe. Juan pays a surprise visit to Paula after Zoe leaves her house.
Turning Point: How is this Turning PoinT a twist that locks us into the journey with “no going back?”
Nobody knew who was Matias until Paula tells Zoe. However, Zoe is more concerned about not losing the project; she needs the money, she needs to leave home, live independently. She doesn’t believe in Paula.
Act 2:
New plan – Zoe goes back to her house to take more clothes and Katrina has a breakdown. Zoe goes to Georgia’s and tells her about her decision. Paula calls her; they meet.
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with Act 1 Turning Point?
Zoe decides to keep with the project regardless of the danger; pretends not to know anything and goes ahead—she needs the money, she wants her freedom. She lies to Paula about it.
Plan in action – Confident, Zoe keeps working on Juan’s project, unaware that she is being used by Juan as bait to threaten Paula.
Plan in action: How does the protagonist take action on that plan?
Zoe dives into the project, keeps working tirelessly. She keeps sneaking out of her mother to meet Paula and lies to Paula about her work.
Midpoint Turning Point – Zoe sees Juan’s men killing Paula’s driver. She speeds and is caught by the police, drunk and high. Loses her drivers license.
Midpoint Turning Point: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey?
When Zoe sees that a man dies, she realises for the first time the danger she’s in. She gets more desperate when Juan pays her a visit on the following day and tells Zoe he knows she stole from him and wants his product back. Upset with Paula, Zoe feels hopeless, not knowing what to do.
Act 3:
Rethink everything – Zoe tells Georgia what happened, about the killing. She tries to calm down her friend. Zoe decided to put everything on hold, to stay away from Juan, start working on a new project. She sees James with a girlfriend.
React/Rethink: What is revealed to the protagonist from the Midpoint? How do they react or rethink things?
Zoe realises that she’s playing with fire and was too naive, taking the wrong decisions. She needs Paula’s help, but she’s too angry at her. Zoe’s tempted to call the police detective, but doesn’t do it; instead, she decides to step back for a while, mainly when she gets a new project.
A New plan – After seeing James with a girlfriend, Zoe acts again without thinking about the consequences. She talks to Juan, tells him she will stop working for him due to some other issues, and they have sex. Juan sends one of his men to follow her.
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict? Zoe acts by frustration, makes a dangerous move thinking that seducing Juan is the best solution, without knowing she was falling into a trap.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – Frustrated, Zoe agrees she needs to hide and she makes the move without saying much. Zoe and Katrina are kidnapped in their house; Georgia is there, the guys knock her down, left between life and death for Zoe’s despair.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Turning Point: The lowest of the low. How has this Turning Point brought the character to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way? This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way.
Suddenly, Zoe sees that her best friend and her mother are involved in this situation because of her – Georgia’s almost dead and experiencing rape, and her mother is bitten in front of her. Memories from her childhood come up, which suddenly makes Zoe react.
Act 4:
Dilemma: What emotional dilemma requires the protagonist to choose between two alternatives, losing something with either choice?
Zoe wonders why does everything she does go wrong? Is this really because she’s a woman (pre religious concepts, childhood trauma comes up). Her mother still tries to persuade her to stop making the wrong decisions in life.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Zoe and Katrina argue; Juan stokes Zoe’s anger, gives her the gun to end her suffering, to kill Katrina. Paula appears with the money; the police seize the house. Juan shoots Paula, Zoe’s desperate. Katrina shoots Juan before he tries to kill Zoe.
Climax/Ultimate @xpression Of The Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a “fight to the death,” either literally or symbolically?
When they’re trapped, Juan teases daughter and mother to have a fight. The truth comes up, Zoe learns Katrina acted behind her back to make Paula disappear from her life. Katrina doesn’t miss the chance of trying to make Zoe believes she’s a loser because she’s a woman. Zoe reacts furiously against her own mother.
Resolution – Two months later, it’s Georgia’s successful exhibition; she’s engaged. Zoe forgives Katrina. In her new apartment, Zoe receives a box, with a dress in it, and an envelope with cash, and flight tickets.
Resolution: How does this resolution represent the “New Ways” and bring this story to a fitting conclusion?
Zoe has finally moved in into her new apartment and forgives her mother. For the first time, she is free, independent, although alone. When receiving Paula’s invitation for a trip, she feels, for the first time, she owns her own life and is able whatever she wants to do with it.
New Ways: What are the New Ways and do they clearly show up in your lead character’s Act 4 behaviour and dialogue?
When Zoe sees Paula again, waiting for her, she feels free, she ‘finds herself’. Zoe tells Paula she loves her and differently than James, Paula reacts nicely. Then, a couple eye them awkwardly and Zoe reacts, stressing that she is happy with her girlfriend, so what? Zoe is free to love whoever she wants.
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Andrea Cabañas, Filled in Missing Scenes.
What I learned with this: I liked reading the script out loud so I could sense better the pace, what was working and what wasn’t.
I didn’t add any scene but worked more in some dialogues, changed one of my character’s age (I made her older than my protagonist so things make more sense). I cut some actions that didn’t make sense in some scenes and added extra beats on it. I had already put some placeholders and outlined other scenes and surprisingly, they were still making sense but haven’t writen anything else yet. I really wanted to focus on this exercise also to feel its pace.
Looking forward to the next assignment!
-
Andrea Cabañas, ACT 4 Resolution
What I learned: I had to go back a bit to make sure the resolution made sense. Well, it became a small routine from the previous exercises, but luckily it didn’t hold me back too much. It was soo nice seeing the resolution flowing slowly, naturally. Another massive learning curve to me.
Outline
INT. GEORGIA’S ART STUDIO – NIGHT – THREE MONTHS LATER
Georgia’s exhibition, a full house. Georgia shows Zoe her engagement ring.
Katrina’s there, admiring a few pieces of art arm in arm with Zoe. When the night finishes, they farewell. Zoe gives Katrina a ride home; she asks for forgiveness. They embrace.
INT. ZOE’S APARTMENT – DAY
Zoe receives her furniture into her new home. Katrina is there helping her. They put all boxes, and Katrina leaves.
A few moments later, someone knocks on the door. Marina gives Zoe a bouquet of flowers, a box, and a letter. She tells Paula is okay and safe.
Zoe opens the box; it’s cash (or a fancy dress?). She opens the envelope, there’s a flight ticket. She wonders.
EXT. BEACH RESTAURANT – DAY
Zoe ends her dinner alone, frustrated. Paula didn’t appear. When she pays the bill, the waiter says it’s been paid and motions her to follow him.
Paula’s there, astonishing, with a smile. Zoe sighs, looks sideways. She says, “I had to make sure you’re not followed”.
They end the night talking happily.
Write the scenes
INT. GEORGIA’S ART STUDIO – NIGHT – THREE MONTHS LATER
It’s Georgia’s exhibition night. People gather in front of paintings. Art pieces made in clay, glass and wood are scattered around the studio.
Georgia is vibrant, talks proudly to her students – children between 10 and 15 years old – and their parents.
Zoe, Katrina and Stewart have a glass of bubbles when Georgia approaches them. Zoe stretches her arm to embrace her friend, who also comes holding a glass of wine.
ZOE
I’m so proud of you, Georgie!
Georgia kisses Zoe’s cheek tight, leaving a lipstick mark, and tries to gently wipe off Zoe’s face.
GEORGIA
Isn’t it amazing?
Georgia scans the place, eyes watering with happiness. She sighs.
GEORGIA
Another dream come true.
They toast. Zoe eyes Georgia’s ENGAGEMENT RING with eyes wide open.
ZOE
What is this!
Georgia and Stewart smile and embrace each other. Georgia shows off her hand with the ring.
STEWART
I proposed to her just before the opening. She–
GEORGIA
I almost died! I was so stressed, all of a sudden the lights from the main panel stopped working, and I was freaking out, about to have a panic attack when he came and–
She gets emotional; Zoe’s eyes are full of tears. Stewart chuckles.
STEWART
I just turned off the lights for a moment. I didn’t know she would freak out.
They laugh. Stewart faces Georgia, takes her hands.
STEWART
And then I proposed.
They kiss softly. Katrina clears her throat and looks away. Zoe wipes down her tears.
MICHAEL (24), a slim boy with a long fringe, approaches and speaks to Georgia.
MICHAEL
We need you over there. Someone wants to know more about the price of a painting.
Georgia strides away.
GEORGIA
Right. You two, look after him, okay?
They giggle, and she leaves. Zoe turns to Stewart.
ZOE
Thank you.
STEWART
For what?
Zoe eyes Georgia talking to a couple.
ZOE
For looking after her so well after all the ordeal.
He chuckles softly.
STEWART
I did all that I did because I love her.
He looks all glasses and sideways.
STEWART
Does anyone want more wine?
KATRINA
Yes, please.
ZOE
No thanks. I’m driving.
Stewart leaves. Katrina faces Zoe, brushes her daughter’s hair back with her hand. Zoe rolls her eyes, tries to get rid of Katrina’s hand; both smile and walk together around the place.
EXT./INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – FRONT YARD – NIGHT
Zoe parks her car in front of the house. Katrina looks at her.
KATRINA
Are you sure you don’t want to stay over? It’s late and–
ZOE
Mom, stop.
Katrina bites her lips, raises her eyebrows with a sigh.
KATRINA
Okay, okay. I’m still learning to let you go, that’s all.
Zoe smiles.
ZOE
I’ll call you in the morning.
KATRINA
Okay.
Katrina opens the door, makes a move to get out but hesitates. She turns to Zoe, who frowns.
KATRINA
I’m sorry.
Zoe tilts her head, frowns.
KATRINA
All those years with your dad–I never thought how badly what he did to me would affect you–or Chris.
Katrina burst into tears.
ZOE
That’s okay, Mom.
KATRINA
It was hard for me to accept that you were already an adult, that you could leave and be free to love someone. I didn’t expect it would be a woman, but, all right, I think I’m over it.
Zoe sighs, twists her lips, looks down.
KATRINA
When I saw your despair at seeing her shot, only then I realized how much you’ve grown. And how stupid I was for being such a prick.
They giggle. Zoe’s eyes well.
KATRINA
Thank you for standing up for me after all I did for you.
They embrace for a good moment; both cry together.
INT. ZOE’S APARTMENT – DAY
Zoe receives her furniture into her new home. It’s a lovely studio, similar to Georgia’s; it’s full of boxes everywhere.
AARON (35), a handsome, tall man with Maori background, waits for her to sign a document. As she does, he and two other guys leave.
MOMENTS LATER
Zoe is placing some books on a stand. She wears comfy clothes and drinks a coffee in a mug.
Someone knocks on the door. Zoe walks to the
ENTRANCE DOOR
Where she opens it and sees it’s Marina, Paula’s assistant.
They stare at each other for a few seconds. As usual, Marina is elegantly dressed in slacks and a silk shirt; her hair’s impeccably pulled back in a ponytail.
She holds a bouquet of colourful flowers in a relatively large cardboard box. She smiles and hands everything to Zoe. Marina motions to the car inside the bouquet.
MARINA
She asked me to tell you she is okay and safe.
Zoe squints as Marina leaves without saying anything else. She closes the door.
BACK TO THE APARTMENT
Zoe pours water into a vase and places the flowers in it. She sits at the table, stares at the box and rips open the envelope. There’s a FLIGHT TICKET, a HOTEL VOUCHER, and an address. She wonders.
After a moment of hesitation, she opens the box to see a beautiful dress. She takes it out of the box slowly. Is this really happening?
She eyes something else inside the box: another ENVELOPE. This is thick. She opens it, and there’s a bunch of money. Her phone RINGS. A non identified number.
ZOE
(frowns)
Hello?
MARINA
Hi, Marina again. Save this number. You have to message me when you’re ready to get on the airplane.
ZOE
What if I don’t go?
MARINA
It’s your decision.
She hangs up. Zoe looks away, nip bites her lips.
INT. BEACH RESTAURANT – DAY
Zoe wears her new dress, taps her fingers on the table. She looks sideways, nip bites her fingers – didn’t touch her dinner. She’s alone.
She pours more wine into her glass, a WAITER rushes to serve her. She puts up her hand in the air.
ZOE
I’m okay. I’m done.
She gulps her wine, cleans her mouth and calls for the waiter.
WAITER
Any dessert, Mam?
ZOE
No. I want the bill, please.
The waiter strides away and comes back a few seconds. Zoe breaths rapidly, grits her teeth, holds back tears. HE comes back.
WAITER
Mam, your bill has been paid already.
Zoe looks sideways.
ZOE
What?
WAITER
Please, come with me.
He motions her to follow him. They walk through the few customers around and go directly to a private place on the beach.
EXT. RESTAURANT – BEACH – DAWN – CONTINUOUS
It’s a beautiful place, with some white tents on the beach where the sunset falls over the sea.
Someone waits for her, a woman who wears a big hat. She turns to see Zoe: it’s Paula. She drinks a fancy cocktail. The waiter leaves.
Zoe’s mouth is slightly open. She doesn’t know if she cries or smiles.
PAULA
It looks like you’re seeing a ghost.
Paula’s astonishing, elegantly dressed in bright clothes, enhancing her long dark hair and tanned skin.
Zoe looks back then to her.
ZOE
Why didn’t you join me?
The waiter brings another drink to Zoe.
PAULA
I had to make sure you were not followed.
They stare at each other for a moment and smile. Paula touches Paula’s face; Zoe senses the touch with her eyes closed. She locks eyes with Paula.
ZOE
I love you.
Paula smiles.
PAULA
Now it’s the part where I have a blank face and don’t say anything, right?
They giggle, they kiss. Their voices fade as the sun slowly sets over the ocean under romantic Cuban music.
THE END
-
Andrea Cabañas ACT 4 Climax
What I learned with this: I need to work harder on this climax. It’s a final confrontation between daughter and mother in a difficult and delicate situation – both were kidnapped. Still working hard to figure out how to make it stronger, which may result in changing previous scenes.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – LOUNGE – DAY
Katrina opens the door to Georgia. She has puffy red eyes, her face still wet from crying.
Katrina embraces Georgia who frowns, mouth slightly dropped.
GEORGIA
What happened, Katrina?
KATRINA
Please, tell her to stay. Talk to her. You’re the only one who she listens to.
Katrina strides away slowly, exhales.
GEORGIA
I’ll see what I can do, okay.
Katrina closes the door and motions Georgia to go forward.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – DAY
Georgia enters the bedroom, Zoe launches to embrace her.
ZOE
Oh… Thanks for coming.
Georgia scans the room; Zoe packs her things.
GEORGIA
Are you sure about this?
ZOE
I’m tired of doing what everyone tells me to do. I’m leaving this house today.
GEORGIA
Your mother is desperate. I’ve never seen her like this before.
ZOE
Typical of her. Don’t fall into her trap. That’s why I’m still stuck in here.
Georgia sits on the bed.
GEORGIA
Can you tell me what’s going on?
Zoe walks toward her and whispers.
ZOE
She found the cocaine and called the police because she thought I was buying from Paula.
GEORGIA
I told you to give him back–
ZOE
There was a microphone hidden in my room!
GEORGIA
Okay… Now it’s serious. So you’re a suspect now.
ZOE
No, but I believe I’ve been used as bait to find her.
GEORGIA
That’s why nothing has been done yet to get your Narco.
Zoe rolls her eyes. They hear the noise of a BROKEN GLASS. Georgia halts.
GEORGIA
What is it?
ZOE
Nothing. It’s her way of venting her feelings. She loves breaking something.
GEORGIA
And where are you going?
ZOE
I can’t tell, sorry, but I need a ride to the train station.
Another loud crash of a PLATE breaking followed by a CHAIR FALLING. Georgia turns her head to the door.
GEORGIA
I think you better check her.
ZOE
Georgia it’s nothing! I know her.
A piece of furniture is DRAGGED and several GLASSES are broken. Zoe exhales deeply.
ZOE
Shit!
She rushes followed by Georgia.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – LOUNGE – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Zoe and Georgia halt seeing Katrina with her hands tied behind her, gagged.
Paco holds her tide with a gun pointed at her head.
PACO
(in Spanish, with subtitles)
Buenos dias, señorita. Sorry about the mess but your Mamacita didn’t want to cooperate with me.
ZOE
What is this?
Adriano comes from the kitchen, his gun held on his waist.
ADRIANO
Mi patron wants to see you.
Zoe looks sideways.
ZOE
He could have called me.
Adriano scoffs slightly.
ADRIANO
If you answered your phone…
He nods to someone who comes behind Zoe and Georgia. Two MEN grab both of them, but Georgia resists and fights but not for too long.
Zoe gets desperate, tries to break free but she can’t.
ZOE
No! Stop! Leave her alone!
They gag Zoe’s mouth, who tries to break free in vain.
Georgia is bitten and falls to the ground.
Zoe fights but can’t do much. She sees the man smirking, approaching fainting Georgia. He opens his pants.
Zoe screams even gagged but gets punched hard, which makes her faint.
Katrina reacts but it’s held by Adriano. She stares at him, who holds a radio. Someone talks through it.
MAN (O.S.)
It’s clear.
Adriano and his man walk to the front yard.
INT. ABANDONED HOUSE – LOUNGE – DAY
Zoe and Katrina are tied in chairs, facing each other. There’s a small table nearby with two glasses of water. The sound of WAVES breaks outside.
Zoe has her head down, Katrina’s head is up, alert, it moves at every noise.
Adriano approaches and takes out the bags off Katrina’s head. She stares at him, who blows her a kiss. He walks to Zoe, takes the bag off Zoe’s head. She wakes up slowly. He holds her chin tight to examine the dry blood near her eyebrow. She cringes at his touch.
JUAN (O.S.)
Well, well, well… Look what we got here.
Both look sideways and see Juan coming from the backyard entrance. He wears dark jeans and a black shirt opened to his chest, showing off hit gold neckless with the crucifix.
He stops near them, tucks his hand in his pockets. Have a glance at both. He motions to Adriano, who promptly takes off their gags.
ZOE
Why did you bring her? She has nothing to do with this.
Juan frowns, massages his chin and walks slowly around them.
JUAN
Mmmmmm. I think you’re wrong, cariño.
He stops behind Katrina, leans forward and talks near her ears, sensual.
JUAN
Your Mamacita here has a lot to do with it. Please, tell her. Or should I start talking?
KATRINA
I didn’t do anything to you.
JUAN
Well, as soon as the police found Paula, they messed up with my business.
He walks toward the window and stares at the view outside.
JUAN
Now, she’s having a little bit of difficulty finishing some–talking. That’s why you’re here.
He glances at Katrina.
JUAN
(to Zoe)
But as usual, your Mamá was in our way so that’s why she’s also here.
Zoe and Katrina exchange look.
INT. AIRPORT – DAY
-
Andrea Cabañas, ACT 4 First Scenes.
I learned that I had to add more tension to the turning point dialogue to make my protagonist realise how far she went to take the wrong decisions. I believe that now I have a feasible dilemma.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – DAY
Zoe SLAMS the door behind her and throws herself on the bed in tears.
KATRINA (O.S.)
Oi! Careful with the doors, lady!
Zoe turns around, yells with the face in the pillow, thinks about something.
She gets up and opens her drawer, takes all her clothes, looks for the packs of cocaine but doesn’t find them. She frowns.
Katrina opens the door, sees the mess.
KATRINA
What are you doing?
Zoe opens wide other drawers massing up a bit, rushes to the small table beside her bed, opens its drawer – nothing.
ZOE
Did you clean my room today?
KATRINA
Sure I did. It was a mess.
ZOE
How many times I told not to clean my room!
KATRINA
You calm down, lady! This is my house, and as long as you live here, I will clean your room wherever I want!
Zoe rushes to the window, stares at the outside and comes back.
ZOE
Did you go out today?
KATRINA
I went to the groceries.
Zoe paces.
ZOE
What time?
KATRINA
Around eleven a.m., why?
Zoe wonders for a moment, shakes her head.
ZOE
Nothing.
Zoe taps underneath her working desk.
KATRINA
What are you doing?
ZOE
I think someone broke into the house.
KATRINA
This is ridiculous. We never had this issue in the area.
Zoe finds something underneath her desk. She grunts and pulls a small device: a tinny microphone with tapes on it.
She stares at it in shock, raised eyebrows. Katrina mutters.
KATRINA
It wasn’t my fault.
Zoe stares at her.
ZOE
What did you do, Mom?
Katrina looks away, breaths deeply.
MOMENTS LATER
Katrina’s seated on the bed, shoulders crunched, hands between legs, red face. Zoe sits on the opposite side, facing her mother away. Heads down, nit biting her thumb.
After a moment of long silence, Katrina talks.
KATRINA
You were acting differently. You weren’t the same person anymore. When I found the drug, I got desperate.
ZOE
And called the police!
KATRINA
I never trusted this Paula, so I did what I did. They were looking after someone connected to her. I just helped them find her.
ZOE
Through me.
Zoe scoffs, looks away.
ZOE
Paula has nothing to do with it.
Katrina turns to Zoe.
KATRINA
Oh, really! So tell me, since when did you start to sleep with women? And where does this drug come from? They said she had connections to a drug dealer. And now you’re addicted.
(to herself)
I knew I had to talk to your father. Shame on you!
Zoe leaps to her feet and faces her mother, who stares at her defiant.
ZOE
You don’t have a clue about what’s going on in my life. But be sure you made things worse now.
She storms out of the bedroom. Katrina motions to follow Zoe but hesitate. She paces around the room, her hand close to her mouth, breathing rapidly. She shouts in the door direction.
KATRINA
I did this… Because I love you.
Katrina sobs.
EXT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – FRONTYARD – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Zoe rages, dashes through the door and stops in the middle of the front yard; veins bulge from her neck.
She looks around, sees a car parked in the distance; a MAN (40s) watches her. She stares at him and mouths “FUCK YOU”, and sprints.
EXT. STREETS – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Zoe runs aimlessly, cries, crosses streets, not paying attention to cars or pedestrians. She stops in a small
PARK
Full of trees and a dog park nearby. She stops under a tree, leans back and wipes the sweat off her face. Zoe recovers her breath, looks sideways, crunches and sobs like a child.
Out of nowhere, a SMALL DOG approaches her and sits at her side. She looks up, and he stares at her, wags his tail and licks her face. Zoe giggles and cuddles the dog.
LORNA (25), casual clothes, approaches.
LORNA
So sorry about that. Jack, come! Come on, boy.
Zoe wipes her face and smiles.
ZOE
That’s okay. Good boy, Jack.
Jack returns to his owner, Zoe stare at them. She reaches for her phone, takes a deep breath and makes a phone call.
-
Andrea Cabañas Finish ACT 3
What I learned with this is that I had to add an extra scene before my turning point, so my protagonist feels a bit more frustrated with her life and decisions, which will enhance her anger, therefore, making her change her next actions. I also made a few corrections and changed some dialogues.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – DAY
SERIES OF SHOTS
Zoe tries to work, to concentrate.
She sees an EMAIL from another potential client, grabs the number and calls them. She makes notes.
She stares at her phone. Paces around the bedroom, drinks water.
Zoe talks to more people over the phone.
She stares at her phone again, sees PAULA’s number and calls. Paula doesn’t answer. Zoe tosses the mobile phone on her bed and leaves the bedroom.
Her phone rings, it’s Juan. But she doesn’t come back.
— ADDED SCENE —
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Zoe has dinner with Georgia and her new boyfriend, STEWART (60), dark skin, bright perfect smile, a charming man.
They drink wine, laugh while waiting for their dessert.
STEWART
… And guess who was there, as soon as I get out of the elevator?
ZOE
Mick Jagger.
Stewart burst in a laugh.
STEWART
No! The wasp!
All three laugh.
GEORGIA
Mick Jagger, loved that, haha.
STWEART
No… The story with Mick was years ago.
He chuckles.
ZOE
And what happened to the wasp?
STEWART
I killed it.
ZOE
Nooooo!
Zoe leans back to the chair, have a sip of her wine.
GEORGIA
Now you’re in trouble. You couldn’t have said that. Not for her.
STEWART
Whoops. Sorry.
ZOE
Don’t worry. I knew you weren’t perfect.
They laugh.
ZOE
It must be cool working in the music industry, playing with famous musicians. Have you stopped playing?
STEWART
Every now and then someone calls me to play, but it’s just for fun.
He sips his wine.
STEWART
My wife died and I was left alone to take care of my son. It was hard to reconcile a musician’s life with a child on your own, you know.
The WAITER (20) brings the DESSERTS.
GEORGIA
Oh, wow! If I knew the tiramisu was that big I’d have shared one with you.
ZOE
If you can’t eat it, I’ll do it.
GEORGIA
So, how’s your new project going? It’s Marlon’s coffee, right?
ZOE
Yep, it’s all good. Nothing big, just a simple renovation, easy and quick.
GEORGIA
Mmm… And did you let your previous client know that you won’t–
Zoe tilts her head with a smirk.
ZOE
Not yet. But I will.
Georgia rolls her eyes, looks away and stares at something.
She sees James, who arrives accompanied by SILVIE (30), blondie, curly hair. They come embraced and seem intimate.
GEORGIA
Mhmmm… Don’t look now but–isn’t that guy James?
Zoe looks over her shoulder. Stewart tilts his head to look at him.
GEORGIA
(whispers)
Jesus, I said not now.
Zoe freezes in disbelieve. She looks back to her plate, rests her forehead on her hand, elbow on the table.
ZOE
Can’t believe it.
Stewart glances at James, then at Zoe.
STEWART
You okay?
Zoe blows her lips.
ZOE
I wasn’t expecting it, but–
GEORGIA
Wasn’t expecting it? What do you think he does when he disappears?
Stewart pretends not to listen, he eats his dessert.
ZOE
I know, but seeing it?
Georgia holds Zoe’s hand.
GEORGIA
Look at me. This man is a prick, you know that. He doesn’t deserve even one more tear from you. Enough. Besides, you have other things to worry about, don’t you think?
Georgia taps the tip of her nose. Zoe chuckles and looks at Stewart.
ZOE
Men. You really know how to mess up with our lives, hey!
Stewart puts his hands up.
STEWART
Don’t look at me. I’m not doing anything here and I’m really happy with her.
He places a kiss on Georgia’s cheek.
MOMENT LATER
They stand up and pay the bill when Georgia makes the move toward James, who looks surprised seeing Zoe.
GEORGIA
Oh, look who’s here! How are you, James?
JAMES
Hi, Georgia, Zoe… How are you?
He glances at Zoe and smiles at both of them. He motions to stand up, but Georgia stops him.
GEORGIA
We’re fine. What about you?
She glances at Silvie.
GEORGIA
And you are…?
SILVIE
Silvie. I’m his girlfriend.
Georgia glances at Zoe, who scoffs softly and looks away.
GEORGIA
Girlfriend? Good on you, darling.
She motions to Stewart.
STEWART
And this is Stewart, my boyfriend.
They shake hands. James glances at Zoe, who’s already walking away.
JAMES
Are you leaving?
GEORGIA
Yep, we had a nice dinner. We love this restaurant, don’t we?
Stewart smiles.
GEORGIA
Well, have a lovely dinner. Tara!
They leave them behind.
EXT. FRONT OF RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Georgia and Stewart arrive, Zoe dries a tear with the back of her hand.
STEWART
I’ll call an Uber.
Georgia nods and faces Zoe.
GEORGIA
Don’t do this.
ZOE
I know, but–I never thought I would feel this so hard.
GEORGIA
Look at me. It’s time for you to let him go. You have Paula–
ZOE
Paula! Right. Another one who betrayed me.
GEORGIA
Whatever. You are a gorgeous woman, strong, get laid with anyone you want…
Zoe chuckles and looks away.
ZOE
But then I come back to my mom’s home and laid down on my own. This sucks.
Georgia sighs.
GEORGIA
I know. But one step at a time, you know that. Forget about James, concentrate on your new project, tell Paula to get lost–
Zoe’s phone RINGS, it’s Juan. She shows Georgia.
GEORGIA
… And get away from that narco.
Zoe chuckles.
ZOE
Narco–I love you.
GEORGIA
Me too.
They embrace. The Uber driver arrives and all three get into the car.
A NEW PLAN
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – LOUNGE – DAY
Zoe waits for Juan in the lounge. Adriano comes out of nowhere.
ADRIANO
Señorita.
She jerks in fright.
ADRIANO
Apologies. I didn’t mean scarring you.
ZOE
(clears her throat)
No, that’s okay.
ADRIANO
Mi patrón is ready to see you. Please, come.
She smiles nervously; he leads her to the
OFFICE
Juan opens a bright smile seeing her.
— CONTINUES —
-
Andrea Cabañas ACT 3 Turning Point
What I learned (or better: what I’ve been learning) is that I really can’t be a perfectionist now because this is the first draft. Nonetheless, in every assignment, I learn more about my protagonist’s journey and with this particular lesson, even the turning point has changed.
1. Outline Key Scene 4 – Turning Point 3.
Zoe works, James calls her. For the first time, she says no to him.
Georgia picks up Zoe, and on their way to the studio, Zoe has a panic attack. She asks Georgia to drop her off at Paula’s office.
Once she arrives, she sees Juan leaving. At Paula’s office, she demands answers and Paula tells her she needs to hide.
2. Write Turning Point 3 – Protagonist faces their lowest low.
INT. PAULA’S OFFICE – RECEPTION – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Just before reaching the reception of the building, Zoe sees Juan with two more men leaving the elevator in a hurry. Juan doesn’t seem happy.
She hides, turns her back on them, pretends she’s on the phone with someone. She eyes them through their reflection on the glass in the reception window.
Outside, Juan picks up his phone, makes a call. Her phone RINGS. She rushed to turn it off. He looks sideways, turns it off, walks forward and gets into the car already waiting for him in front of the building.
Zoe goes to the elevator.
INT. PAULA’S OFFICE – DAY
Zoe storms into Paula’s office, followed by Marina, who tried to avoid it.
Paula talks with three MEN, all around ‘40s; all have their guns at their waists.
They stare at Zoe, who hesitates but doesn’t move.
Paula makes a move to them, who leave the room, including Marina.
ZOE
Can you tell me what is this about? What he was doing here?
Paula takes a cigarette, lights it and blows the smoke in the air. She keeps calm.
PAULA
I’m fine, thanks.
Zoe looks away. Takes a breath.
ZOE
You told me you didn’t have anything to do with him anymore.
PAULA
Since you started fucking him, I got involved too.
Zoe scoffs.
ZOE
Excuse me?
Paula stands up.
PAULA
I told you to keep away from him but no. You kept working for him, pretending he was no one.
She comes closer.
PAULA
And then you didn’t resist–He’s charming, alluring, huh? Difficult to resist, I know.
Paula walks away, gives another drag and turns to face Zoe again.
PAULA
You even stole him.
Zoe reacts. Paula tuts.
PAULA
And now you come here demanding answers?
ZOE
What’s going on?
Paula comes closer.
PAULA
You played with fire, Zoe. Because of your childish action, he killed one of my men and now, he’s demanding something that I’m not able to do.
Zoe’s eyes well, her breath increases rapidly. She turns her back to Paula.
ZOE
I saw it.
PAULA
What?
ZOE
I saw his man killing him.
PAULA
(in Spanish)
¡Joder!
ZOE
Nobody saw me, I swear.
Paula goes to Zoe and turns to face her.
PAULA
You need to hide.
-
Andrea Cabañas, ADCT 3 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this is that one more time, I had to go back to my key scene 1 and change a bit, which gave more pace (and sense) to the following key scenes. I also created more layers to it to make things more feasible.
INT. GEORGIA’S STUDIO – DAY
On a table placed in the middle of the studio, an unfinished clay pot is half-painted. There are brushes and coloured paints on the table.
Georgia’s in shock, jaws dropped. She stares at Zoe, who paces in the studio and cries.
GEORGIA
Did anyone see you?
ZOE
I don’t know. Maybe…
GEORGIA
Maybe? For Christ sake!
ZOE
Yes, maybe! That’s why he went home today! How does he know where I live?
Georgia gets up and paces. She goes to the window to check the
STREET
Usual traffic and people walking; no suspicious cars around.
GEORGIA
All narcos know where people live.
She turns back to Zoe.
GEORGIA
Okay, just calm down.
ZOE
I saw them killing a man.
Georgia makes a no signal with her hand in the air.
GEORGIA
No, you didn’t.
ZOE
That thumb… It looked like someone was being beaten… Then… I walked a few meters away, and I saw it. They killed a man.
Georgia stares at Zoe.
GEORGIA
You didn’t see anything.
ZOE
I saw it. And I’m pretty sure it was the same guy who was following me.
Georgia comes closer holds Zoe’s shoulders, authoritative.
GEORGIA
Listen to me. You didn’t see anything.
Both stare at each other for a moment. Georgia lets Zoe go and steps back.
GEORGIA
Now I agree with Paula more than ever.
(stares at Zoe)
You need to run.
ZOE
Run? Are you out of your mind? I… I’ll deal with it.
GEORGIA
Oh, really? And what are you going to do? You decided to go ahead with his project when you should have left ages ago. Now you slept with him, had drugs with him, and stole his–
ZOE
Sssshhhhhhh, please.
Georgia breathes heavily.
GEORGIA
Where’s Paula?
ZOE
Helloooo, everything just happened, for Christ sake.
A moment of silence.
ZOE
I don’t want to know anything about her anymore.
GEORGIA
You need to find a way to get out of this, babe. Call the police.
ZOE
Are you crazy?
GEORGIA
What about those guys who went to your place? Weren’t they after him?
(scoffs)
Isn’t it weird that no one has done anything yet to put him in jail?
ZOE
Things don’t happen like movies, Georgie.
Zoe sits again and tucks her head between her hands. Georgia does the same.
ZOE
I’ll talk to him. I’ll tell him I can’t finish his project because something else came up and–
GEORGIA
And give him back his cocaine, please, unless you’re thinking of making money out of it.
Zoe rolls her eyes and scoffs.
GEORGIA
Or die from an overdose.
A moment of silence. Georgia gets up, walks toward the fridge.
GEORGIA
Fancy a gin?
ZOE
Now?
GEORGIA
Are you driving or something?
Zoe gives her the finger; Georgia sighs deeply and giggles.
Zoe shoves the sofa cushion over her face and screams.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – DAY
SERIES OF SHOTS
Zoe tries to work, to concentrate.
She sees an EMAIL from another potential client, grabs the number and calls them. She makes notes.
She stares at her phone. Paces around the bedroom, drinks water.
Zoe talks to more people over the phone.
She stares at her phone again, sees PAULA’s number and calls. But she doesn’t answer. She tosses the mobile phone on her bed.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Zoe meets Georgia’s new boyfriend, Stewart.
James appears with another woman; Georgia makes sure he sees Zoe.
Zoe’s heartbroken, Georgia tells her off.
A NEW PLAN
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – LOUNGE – DAY
Zoe waits for Juan in the lounge. Adriano comes out of nowhere.
ADRIANO
Señorita.
She jerks in fright.
ADRIANO
Apologies. I didn’t mean scarring you.
ZOE
(clears her throat)
No, that’s okay.
ADRIANO
Mi patrón is ready to see you. Please, come.
She smiles nervously; he leads her to the
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – OFFICE – DAY
Juan opens a bright smile seeing her.
JUAN
There she is. I thought you had forgotten me.
He gets up, walks toward her. Adriano leaves, Zoe eyes him.
ZOE
I told your assistant I had issues with delivering a few products.
He kisses her hand, charming as usual.
JUAN
And she told me.
Juan walks toward the door and LOCKS it. Zoe looks sideways; she sees a BASEBALL BAT on the ground.
JUAN
I didn’t think you’d wait almost two weeks to visit me.
ZOE
(smiles nervously)
I got stuck with another project. I didn’t even realize the time passed so fast.
Juan smiles motions her to a seat. He faces her, leans on the table with hands in his pockets. His voice’s soft; he’s sexy.
JUAN
I got worried about you. For a moment, I thought you were avoiding me. I thought I did something you didn’t like.
Zoe looks away, avoids eye contact. She takes a deep breath and stands up, gets closer to him.
ZOE
I don’t know if I can make it.
Juan squints.
JUAN
What do you mean?
She approaches more, licks her lips; her voice is sexy. She stares at Juan, touches his arms gently.
ZOE
It’s not usually this to happen. I always keep a reasonable distance from my clients, but I couldn’t help myself with you.
He scoffs softly.
JUAN
Lucky me.
ZOE
But I’m still pondering about finishing this job. I found another excellent interior designer; he worked with me on other projects–
Juan pulls his head away from her face.
JUAN
He?
ZOE
I can’t mix work with this.
She unbuttons his pants and slowly places her hand under his underwear. He moans.
JUAN
I don’t see any problems in doing both.
He holds her chin tightly, leans his face against hers.
JUAN
As long as you do your job correctly.
They have sex right there.
EXT./INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – DAY
Zoe says goodbye to him at the door. He wears comfortable linen pants, shirtless, and his gold neckless.
JUAN
Are you sure you don’t want Adriano to take you?
An UBER driver arrives at the gate.
ZOE
No, thanks. My driver just arrived.
JUAN
Como quieras.
He holds her head tightly by the hair, tilts her head backwards and kisses her with passion.
JUAN
I hope you know what you’re doing.
Zoe gives him a half-smile and leaves. He eyes her walking to the gate, and calls Adriano with a hand movement. Adriano appears fast.
JUAN
Tell Paco to keep an eye on her.
ADRIANO
Sí señor.
Juan stares at her going away. He closes the door and walks to the
LOUNGE
Where he goes to the bar and prepares a drink.
A mobile phone rings nearby. Adriano comes back and hands Juan his cell phone. He chuckles, looking at who’s calling.
JUAN
(over the phone)
Paula, Paula, Paula. What a pleasant surprise.
He pours some whiskey on his glass with no ice.
JUAN
Hope you have good news for me as I have for you.
He gives a sip of his drink with a smirk.
INT. CAFFEE – CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY
Zoe supervises the arrival of some furniture: chairs, tables and some plants. She tells the man where to place things.
Her phone RINGS. It’s James. She excuses herself and goes to a quieter place, near the window.
ZOE
Hi.
JAMES
Hi. Are you okay?
ZOE
Yes, I’m fine. You?
JAMES
All goo, thanks. Would you like to have dinner or something?
Zoe opens her eyes wide, shakes her head.
ZOE
Oh… Err… When?
JAMES
On Friday? I could pass by your house, and we go from there.
She blows her mouth, massages her forehead, pacing through the small space.
ZOE
Yeah, err… Fine, okay. What time?
JAMES
Six pm is good?
She nods to herself.
ZOE
Sure, right. See you then.
She hangs up the phone, takes a deep breath, and talks to herself.
ZOE
What else now?
——–
-
Andrea Cabañas – Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
What I learned with this assignment is knowing that my protagonist is still naive to the point of making the wrong decision again but believing she’s doing the right thing. Loved working with this part.
— ACT 3 —
RETHINK EVERYTHING
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – LOUNGE – NIGHT
Georgia picks up Zoe and brings to her house. Katrina wakes up, it’s 2 am.
Georgia greets her, she doesn’t react much as always. When Zoe tells what happened, surprisingly Katrina doesn’t react badly.
They go to Zoe’s room where
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Zoe tells Georgia what happened (Paula with another woman). She also shows Georgia the drug she took from Juan.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – DAY
Katrina wakes Zoe up. There’s a visitor for her: Juan.
He brings her flowers, hears from her mother what happened. He thanks for the enjoyable night they had – Katrina’s enchanted by him.
Before leaving, he tells Zoe she ‘owes something to him.’ She pretends she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. (Does he mention what she saw?)
INT. GEORGIA’S STUDIO – DAY
Desperate, Zoe tells Georgia about the drugs and the dead man.
Georgia freaks out, tells Zoe to give it back to Juan and stop working for him. She says to call Paula, to ask for her help.
Zoe says she will sort this out by her own, even if she needs to sell the drugs she took.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – DAY
Zoe makes a few phone calls. Reluctantly, she also calls Paula, who doesn’t answer.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Zoe meets Georgia’s new boyfriend Stewart.
James appears with another woman; Georgia makes sure he sees Zoe.
Zoe’s heartbroken, Georgia tells her off.
A NEW PLAN
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – LOUNGE – DAY
Zoe tells Juan she can’t mix work with a relationship and tells him she rather be with him.
He tells her that he doesn’t bother mixing the two, as long as she does a good job. They have sex.
Zoe leaves with an Uber. Suspicious, Juan orders one of his man to follow her. He calls Paula: her deadline is approaching.
On her way back home, James calls her. They talk briefly over the phone.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – LOUNGE – DAY
James makes Zoe an unexpected visit. When he leaves, Zoe notices a car parked nearby – she’s been watched again.
Zoe rages and calls Paula.
EXT. PAULA’S OFFICE – DAY
Zoe hesitates to come in.
INT. PAULA’S OFFICE – DAY
Zoe storms into Paula’s office and demands her to stop following her. Paula tells it’s not her; they killed one of her man.
Paula tells Zoe she knows she’s been seeing Juan. She warns Zoe about the danger she’s getting into.
Frustrated, Zoe calls James.
— ACT 3 —
RETHINK EVERYTHING
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – LOUNGE – NIGHT
Zoe turns on the light and enters with Georgia. Zoe looks awful, a mixture of hangover, fear, sadness. They go straight to the
KITCHEN
Where Zoe takes a beer and offers it to Georgia.
GEORGIA
Oh no, thanks. I’m driving.
Zoe gives her the finger. They laugh.
ZOE
Thank you. You are the best.
Georgia teases Zoe, adding drama to her voice tone.
GEORGIA
Huh, I really must be. Who else would wake up at this time to save a friend from going to jail.
Katrina appears in a pink pajamas, disheveled, eyes squinted.
KATRINA
What’s going on? Are you okay?
GEORGIA
Hi, Katrina.
She mentions to go but Zoe stops her.
ZOE
I got caught drunk driving.
KATRINA
Where you with that–
ZOE
Mom! Not now.
Katrina sighs.
GEORGIA
Why you didn’t call me?
ZOE
Because I didn’t want to wake you up.
KATRINA
You did now, hey.
Zoe rolls her eyes and takes Georgia with her into her bedroom.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Zoe and Georgia are seated on the bed side by side, starring at the two little packs of cocaine between them.
GEORGIA
Son of a bitch.
ZOE
I know. That’s why I went there.
GEORGIA
To steal Juan.
ZOE
And fuck him.
They laugh.
Zoe massages her face and tucks her face in her hands.
ZOE
Aaaaahhhhhh, he’s so charming. I couldn’t resist! And I was so mad at her that bloody hell, why she did that to me?
GEORGIA
I can’t believe it.
Georgia keeps staring at the drugs.
ZOE
I know.
Zoe has another glance on it.
ZOE
Have you tried before?
GEORGIA
Yep. With your uncle. Crazy nights together. But I didn’t like it much the following day. You’ll see it when you wake up.
Zoe sighs.
ZOE
You need to help me.
GEORGIA
What?
Zoe settles in bed and whispers to Georgia.
ZOE
I saw them killing a man.
GEORGIA
What?
ZOE
It took me ages to find my car key and I heard something. It looked like someone was being beaten… I walked a few meters away and I saw it… They killed a man.
Georgia’s mouth is wide open.
GEORGIA
And what did you do?
ZOE
I ran, got into my car and drove. I was so nervous that I couldn’t see anything in front of me…
GEORGIA
Did anyone see you?
ZOE
I don’t know.
Georgia stares at Zoe.
GEORGIA
You didn’t see anything.
ZOE
I saw it. And I’m quite sure it was the same guy who was following me.
Georgia is authoritative.
GEORGIA
Listen to me. You didn’t see anything.
Both stare at each other for a moment.
GEORGIA
Now I agree with Paula more than ever. You need to run.
Zoe stands up and paces.
ZOE
Are you out of your mind? I… I’ll deal with it.
GEORGIA
Oh, really? And what are you going to do? You decided to go ahead with his project when you should have left ages ago. You slept with him, had drugs with him, stole his–
ZOE
Sssshhhhhhh, please.
Georgia breathes heavily.
GEORGIA
Where’s Paula?
ZOE
Helloooo, everything just happened for Christ sake.
A moment of silence.
GEORGIA
You need to find a way to get out of this, babe. Call the police.
ZOE
Are you crazy?
GEORGIA
What about those guys who came here? Weren’t them after him? Isn’t it weird that no one have done anything yet to put him in jail?
ZOE
Things don’t happen like movies, Georgie.
Zoe tucks her head again between her hands. Georgia does the same.
ZOE
I’ll talk to him. I’ll tell him I can’t finish his project because something else came up and…
GEORGIA
And give him back his cocaine, unless you’re thinking of making money out of it. Or die from an overdose.
Zoe throws herself on the bed and covers her face with a pillow. She yells.
Georgia goes to the window and looks outside. She closes it and turns to Zoe, who stares at the ceiling.
GEORGIA
Can I spend the night here? Just in case someone is already after me.
Zoe throws the pillow on Georgia.
-
Andrea Cabañas has completed ACT 2 Draft 1.
What I learned from this (one more time!) is that every time I saw myself stuck, I did my best not to overthink much about the scene/dialogue and kept writing.
EXT. STREETS – DAY
Zoe walks on the street proud of the meeting she had with Juan. She speaks over the phone with Georgia.
ZOE
… Yeah, that’s what I thought, right? He didn’t even try to put the price down. I told him and he just said yep, let’s do it. Yes!
She laughs while hearing. Then she stops.
ZOE
… Can you believe I’ll have a deposit to buy the studio next to yours? Let’s celebrate!
(pause)
Okay, but I just can’t on Friday, I’m going to check his house, he also wants me to do some landscape.
What? What did you say?
She laughs.
ZOE
Yep. He is hot, girl! You should– Oh okay then, talk to you soon. I’m going to mom’s to pick up more clothes so I’ll be there later on. Cheers, buy.
Zoe turns off her mobile and sees Paula leaning over her car at the other side of the road. Their eyes met, she hesitates but keeps walking.
Paula approaches, she’s elegantly dressed in white pants.
PAULA
Hi.
ZOE
Hi.
PAULA
Are you okay?
ZOE
Yes. You?
Paula looks sideways and places her hands in her pockets.
PAULA
We must talk.
ZOE
What’s going on?
Paula doesn’t say much, she opens the car door and motions Zoe to get in.
Zoe stares at her for a second, takes a deep sigh and enters.
INT. CAR – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Zoe and Paula are seated behind the car. DIEGO (50), with dark hair and a big scar on his chin, drives the car. The inside window between the driver and passengers is closed.
ZOE
What’s happening?
PAULA
Where were you?
Zoe frowns.
ZOE
Eerrr… Working?
PAULA
Working?
ZOE
Yeah, I had a meeting with a client, what is it? Do I need to give you details about everything I do during the day now?
Paula sighs.
PAULA
I just need to know who’s your client, that’s all.
Zoe scoffs.
ZOE
Got it. You lent me money to open my business and now you want to control my clients.
PAULA
There’s nothing to do with it. Just answer me, who was the client?
Zoe looks away reluctant, places her hand in her mouth and nip bites her thumb before talking.
PAULA
Please.
ZOE
His name is Matias, Matias Gon… Forgot his surname. He’s from Colombia, lives here for–
Paula scoffs nervously and mutters.
PAULA
(in Spanish)
Hijo de puta.
ZOE
What did you say?
Paula reaches for her mobile phone, opens some pictures and hands them to Zoe. Pictures of Juan.
ZOE
What is this?
PAULA
Keep scrolling till the last pictures.
Zoe scrolls it and sees her picture of having lunch with him. She stares at Paula with wide eyes.
ZOE
What… Are you following me? This is ridiculous.
She hits the glass window.
ZOE
Stop the car! Stop this fucking car!
Diego looks over his shoulder but doesn’t pay much attention to her.
Paula speaks with a lower voice tone but is authoritative.
PAULA
This man is Juan Estigarribia, the one the police detectives are looking for.
Zoe stops but doesn’t face Paula.
PAULA
We worked together a long time ago. They set me in a trap and he went to jail…
She stares at the window outside. Zoe leans back to her sit, staring at the other side nibbling her thumb again.
PAULA
… And I was blamed for it. Now I understand why he’s here in Sydney. You must stop seeing him.
A moment of silence.
ZOE
And why should I believe in you?
PAULA
Because it’s the truth.
ZOE
The truth? Really? So please tell me, who are you!
Paula smiles and answers calmly.
PAULA
Paula Ortega.
ZOE
Where are you from?
PAULA
I was born in Tijuana, Mexico, had some business with the narco–
ZOE
(scoffs)
Fuck.
PAULA
… But gave up this life years ago. Moved to Barcelona, where I lived for almost eight years and now I’m here, with you.
Zoe faces Paula.
ZOE
I can’t do this.
Paula places her hand onto Zoe’s hand and squeezes it.
PAULA
You need to stay away from him. For sure he’s up to something.
ZOE
(to herself)
This project is my freedom. I’ll buy my own place and–
PAULA
Is it the money that you need? I’ll give you money but stay away from him!
ZOE
I don’t want your bloody money! Thank you for everything you gave to me and I’m glad I paid you back but now it’s my time to do my things!
PAULA
Hey, listen to me.
They stare at each other.
PAULA
This man is dangerous. Don’t get involved with him.
ZOE
I’m already involved since the first time I met you, Paula.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – DAY
Zoe’s wardrobe is open, she puts some clothes in a backpack placed on her bed. She picks up a few shows and a perfume.
Katrina appears at the door. Hesitates but comes in. She leans against the wall. Her voice tone is soft.
KATRINA
I didn’t hear you coming.
Zoe doesn’t make eye contact with Katrina. She’s focused on her stuff.
ZOE
I didn’t want to bother you.
Katrina glances at Zoe’s belongings and sees a PORTRAIT with Zoe and her brother Cris together. They were around ten years old. Katrina grabs it with fond and smiles.
KATRINA
I love this photo. I remember it was so difficult to make him take a picture, remember? He never liked being in pictures, don’t know why.
Zoe glances Katrina over her shoulder.
ZOE
He was ashamed of what happened to him.
Katrina reacts, her semblance changes. She goes to the window and stares outside.
KATRINA
I tried to help him. Oh lord, how I tried.
ZOE
You didn’t do anything. You just pretended nothing had happened. You and Frank.
KATRINA
He’s your father.
ZOE
And he didn’t do anything to defend his own son!
Katrina cringes, a tear drops from her eye. She dries it with the back of her hand, clears her throat and faces Zoe.
KATRINA
You don’t need to do this.
ZOE
I’m just doing what you told me to.
Katrina moves closer, tries to make Zoe stop.
KATRINA
Let’s put this behind us. I… I was angry, I wasn’t thinking clearly when I said that. Please…
She holds Zoe’s hands.
KATRINA
Stay. This is your home. You don’t need to go anywhere.
Zoe stares at her mother.
ZOE
I already made my mind.
Zoe lets go of her mother and continue packing. Katrina comes closer again, but Zoe ignores her.
KATRINA
Look, I promise I’ll change. You can date whoever you want. I… I won’t interfere in your relationships anymore. If you like this woman… it’s your choice, what can I do… huh?
She forces a smile. Zoe glances at her, rolls her eyes and scoffs.
ZOE
You’re funny, Katrina Muller.
Katrina follows Zoe.
KATRINA
It’s true. Look, I really don’t care, okay, you can do whatever you want with your life. You’re a grown woman and–
ZOE
That’s why I’m doing what I’m doing. I can’t be living with you for the rest of my life. It’s time to let it go, isn’t it? Both of us.
KATRINA
But what about work? Where are you staying?
ZOE
I’m staying at Georgia’s, she’s is helping me–
KATRINA
Georgia? But he–
Zoe puts her hand up.
ZOE
Mom, stop! She is my friend, okay, and she is helping me a lot.
Katrina plops down on Zoe’s bed with shoulders down, head down. She murmurs.
KATRINA
Please, don’t do this.
She starts to cry. Zoe hesitates for a moment but keeps going, although in a slow rhythm.
ZOE
Don’t do this, Mom.
As Katrina speaks, her anxiety increases, her voice tone becomes almost desperate.
KATRINA
What have I done to deserve this? I always did my best to help you, to protect you, you and your brother. When Chris died, part of me also died. Don’t let my other part die too, Zoe.
Zoe sighs deeply; she hates seeing her mother cry.
ZOE
Mom, I’m not leaving you forever. Think it’s like I’m getting married but instead of getting married, I’m going to live with a friend, save money and buy my own house.
KATRINA
You can’t do this to me!
Katrina storms out of the room. Zoe hears when Katrina starts throwing things on the floor, glasses breaking, portraits breaking.
Zoe rushes.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – LOUNGE – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Zoe halts seeing some furniture overturned on the floor, a broken vase, shattered wall paintings on the floor. Katrina’s defeated, seated on a couch, shaking with sobs.
Zoe takes a deep breath, approaches and sits. Katrina curls up in her daughter’s arms, who rocks as if she was a baby.
INT. GEORGIA’S STUDIO – DAY
Georgia is working on a clay sculpture in the middle of the lounge; she is covered in mud, happy with the results of her art. The furniture is dragged to make space.
Seated comfortable with her knees bent over the chair, Zoe watches Georgia working. Zoe has elbows resting on her knees with clasped hands.
ZOE
You’re not going to say anything.
GEORGIA
(scoffs)
I knew she would do something like that.
She glances at Zoe.
GEORGIA
As she always does, hey.
Zoe sighs heavily, drops her head backwards.
ZOE
Ahhhh, I hate when this happens.
GEORGIA
She plays with you.
Zoe shakes her head.
ZOE
I hate when she does that. It’s just–it breaks my heart seeing her like that. I feel sorry for her.
GEORGIA
And what about you? What about your independence, the idea of having your own space, having your own life?
ZOE
I’m not giving up this, I’m just–staying a bit longer with her, that’s all.
GEORGIA
I wonder about the day you’ll get married. She’s going to kill herself.
Zoe scoffs.
ZOE
You know I won’t get married.
GEORGIA
You already told James you love him.
Both laugh. Georgia has a good glance at her art and cleans her hands. She turns to Zoe.
GEORGIA
Fancy a wine?
ZOE
Sure.
Georgia walks to the small wine fridge, takes a bottle of red and reaches for wine glasses. She pours the wine, hands one glass to Zoe and seats on the floor, facing Zoe.
They toast.
ZOE
To your surgery.
GEORGIA
To our happiness.
They smile and sip their wines. Zoe appreciates it with eyes closed. Georgia looks at Zoe and squints.
ZOE
What?
GEORGIA
Do you still have this crazy idea of taking the job with the drug dealer?
ZOE
Girl, this is the beginning of my freedom.
GEORGIA
He’s a drug dealer, woman!
ZOE
This is what Paula said.
GEORGIA
Paula and the investigators who went to your place.
Georgia comes closer, still seated on the ground.
GEORGIA
Have you never watched Narcos? They are dangerous people.
Zoe rolls her eyes.
ZOE
You’re watching too much Netflix, hun. Look, I know what I’m doing. I’m doing what I love, it’s a big project, and I’ll be able to buy my own place. We’ll be neighbours!
Zoe toasts, Georgia smiles and also toasts.
GEORGIA
I don’t know. Paula seems really worried. And oh my god!
ZOE
What?
GEORGIA
I always admired Paula, you know, she’s chic, has a style. And who’ll believe that she’s also a narco!
Georgia opens and covers her mouth with her hands, a smile with wide eyes.
GEORGIA
You can be the new Queen of the South!
Zoe puts her hands up in the air.
ZOE
Oh my goodness! Stop, woman! You’re crazy.
Zoe taps Georgia’s shoulder and they laugh again. Then, Georgia changes her mood to be more serious.
GEORGIA
I need to tell you something.
ZOE
Uh oh…
GEORGIA
I’m seeing someone.
Zoe opens her mouth in awe.
ZOE
No way! Who’s he? Do I know him?
GEORGIA
(smiles)
He’s the father of one of my students. His wife died a few years ago.
ZOE
Since when?
GEORGIA
It’s been a couple of months.
ZOE
And why didn’t tell me anything?
Georgia’s sarcastic.
GEORGIA
I thought he was just another one, you know. Those guys who are just curious, want to have a different experience and when they have what they want, that’s it, finished it.
ZOE
But not him.
Georgia sighs with her head up, looking at the ceiling.
GEORGIA
Nope.
Zoe smiles.
ZOE
I can see the glitter in your eyes.
GEORGIA
I know. It’s been a long time since your uncle died.
Zoe looks away and sighs. Back to Georgia, she stares at her friend, places her loose fringe behind her ear.
ZOE
I knew you would find someone as special as him.
GEORGIA
Thank you.
Zoe frowns.
ZOE
Thank you?
GEORGIA
You know how hard this world is with someone like me. Your uncle was the most adorable man, he helped me so much going through all stages of my–
(she blows out)
To find my new me.
ZOE
He loved you a lot.
GEORGIA
And oddly enough he didn’t know how to deal with what he really was.
A tear drops from her eyes and Zoe’s.
ZOE
I’m sure he’s happy for you, wherever he is now.
GEORGIA
Yep. So, let’s make a toast for the most loving man in the world, who introduced us and blessed our lives with this strong friendship the way it was supposed to be.
ZOE
Cheers, my friend.
They drink and embrace each other. Georgia teases Zoe.
GEORGIA
Mmmm, don’t hug me too tight otherwise I get horny.
ZOE
Come on, I know you’re not a lesbian.
They laugh.
GEORGIA
And talking about lesbos…
(clicks her tongue)
How’s our queen Paula? Does she know you’ll keep working to the narco guy?
ZOE
No, she can’t even dream about it. I don’t know how I’m gonna do it but I’ll think about it later.
She takes a sip of her wine with a worried glare, narrowed eyes.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Zoe works on her computer listening to some funky, groovy music. There is some paper scattered on the table, the TV is on but on mute. She finishes something and happy with the results, makes a little dance still seated. She has a sip of her water.
Her phone rings, it’s Paula.
ZOE
Hey.
PAULA
How are you?
ZOE
Busy, but okay. And you?
PAULA
You’re not taking my calls.
ZOE
I told you, I’m a bit busy at the moment. I got another project and it’s a bit challenging.
PAULA
Really. What about?
ZOE
Err… A couple of friends from Georgia are opening a new business and want to renovate the old space. It’s a dental practice, it seems interesting.
PAULA
Congratulations.
ZOE
Thank you.
Paula’s voice is soft, sexy.
PAULA
I made a vegetarian paella, the one you like. And I think I cooked too much just for myself so I wondered if you’d like to come over.
ZOE
Oh… I can’t go now.
PAULA
Why not? Because of your mom?
Zoe scoffs.
PAULA
Sorry. I didn’t want to be rude.
ZOE
It’s okay.
PAULA
I also bought some wine from New Zealand. You told me once that they have the best white wines in the world.
ZOE
Paula look, I–
PAULA
I’m wearing soft, new lingerie that I bought from Gucci… It’s so soft that I feel naked.
Zoe licks her lips, closes her eyes.
PAULA
I miss you…
(she moans softly)
I think we should talk about… you know… Extraño tus labios… Tu boca en mi boca…
Zoe bites her lips, rolls her eyes, takes a deep breath.
ZOE
Give me a few minutes.
Zoe hangs up.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – LOUNGE – NIGHT
Katrina watches TV laid on the sofa, a glass of wine at her side. She sees Zoe passing by, glances at her watch.
KATRINA
Going where at this time?
ZOE
Georgia called. She needs help with something.
KATRINA
Can’t she wait until tomorrow? It’s nine pm!
ZOE
Nope. And don’t wait for me. I may stay with her overnight. Bye.
Katrina squints. She gets up, takes her phone and grabs in a drawer the police detective business card.
She goes to the window and stares at Zoe getting in the car, driving away. She calls them.
KATRINA
Can I speak with Mrs Trout, please? It’s Katrina Muller.
(pause)
Hello? Hi, Mrs Trout, sorry to call you this late at night. Err… I think my daughter is still seeing that woman… Paula.
INT. PAULA’S HOUSE – ENTERTAINMENT ROOM – NIGHT
Clothes are scattered on the ground, the TV is on and plays flamenco music with a dancer (bailaora) performing.
Zoe and Paula make love, Paula still wears the top of her fancy lingerie top.
Images of the dancer merge with the movements of Zoe and Paula making love.
INT. PAULA’S HOUSE – DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Paula and Zoe eat paella in a romantic atmosphere, with few lights on and candles scattered around the table.
They toast with a glass of white wine; they talk, they laugh. They have a good time.
INT. PAULA’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – NIGHT
Paula and Zoe make love again, and fall asleep holding each other.
INT. PAULA’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY
Paula sleeps, her body turned to the glass window. Below the white silk sheet, a hand caresses her legs, going up gently from her foot to her thigh.
Paula smiles softly, enjoys the touch. She opens her eyes slowly and sees, through the reflection in the window, that it’s not Zoe who’s there.
At a slow pace, she moans, stretches, and reaches for her gun hidden under her bed. She points at the intruder’s head: it’s Juan.
PAULA
Where is she?
Juan keeps calm and charming. They speak in Spanish with subtitles.
JUAN
How rude. You never woke up this grumpy, my love.
PAULA
Where is she? What did you do to her?
Juan seats calmly, charming.
Don’t worry. Your girlfriend left early, the sun hadn’t risen yet.
Paula pulls the sheet to cover herself and gets up, gun still pointed at him.
He scoffs softly, eyes locked on her.
JUAN
You don’t need to cover yourself like this as if I never saw your body. Please… I came here in peace.
Paula stares at him and wears some clothes carefully. Juan watches with a half-smile on his face.
INT. PAULA’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
Juan is at the table having a coffee. Paula’s leaned at the kitchen bench, arms crossed.
He feels the coffee aroma and sips. They speak Spanish with subtitles.
JUAN
Ahh… You still make the best coffee in the world. Thanks.
Paula taps her feet on the ground.
PAULA
What are you doing here?
He finishes his coffee and leans back in the chair.
JUAN
I have a big shipment coming here and I need your help.
PAULA
You know I’ve been out of this game for a long time.
Juan scoffs, tilts his head and gets up. He walks towards her.
JUAN
I know. And in the meantime I spent my time counting the years while I was in jail.
He comes closer, faces her. They stare at each other, Paula doesn’t fear his presence at all.
JUAN
I believe this is the best time for you to pay back what you owe me for everything you did to me.
PAULA
I was on your side. The Rodriguez set you up, I had nothing to do with it.
He stares at her, scans her face, licks his lips and tilts his head. They speak in English now.
JUAN
Why am I still hard to believe you?
PAULA
I’m telling you the truth.
Juan talks in a defiant tone.
JUAN
I want my money back and you will help me with this shipment.
PAULA
I’m not in this business anymore.
JUAN
But you know people in Sydney airport. I meant, one person.
PAULA
I won’t talk to him.
Juan scoffs softly.
JUAN
It’s this or a million dollars in cash.
PAULA (in Spanish with subtitles)
You’re crazy? I don’t have this money.
He scans her kitchen and back to her. He also speaks Spanish.
JUAN
You have until the first of July to decide what to do. Talk to him or give me the money…
PAULA
Or what?
He whispers in her ear in Spanish.
JUAN
Your little sweetheart will pay with her life.
He steps back, takes her hand and places a soft kiss on it.
JUAN
I’ll see you soon, cariño.
He leaves.
PAULA
¡Coño!
MONTAGE
Zoe works day and night in her bedroom on Juan’s project.
She talks over the phone while scribbles over drawings scattered on the table.
She visits Juan’s office, talks to workers doing their jobs.
Katrina argues with Zoe back home while Zoe tries to concentrate on her work.
Zoe makes love with Paula.
Sleepy, Zoe works on her computer later at night.
Zoe shows Juan the project on her computer screen.
Paula’s security man watches them from a distance. Zoe notices.
The first payment comes into her account. She dances on her own celebrating.
INT./EXT. JUAN’S HOUSE – DAY
ADRIANO (’40), Juan’s security guard leads Zoe to a spacious room where a grand piano stands. There’s a nice view of Sydney’s Tamarama Beach.
Zoe walks through the beautiful, spacious lounge. There are paintings of Frida Kahlo and Andy Warhol on the walls. She stares at Frida Kahlo’s.
Juan arrives wearing bright linen trousers and a white T-shirt. He’s hot.
JUAN
Sorry to keep you waiting.
ZOE
That’s okay. It didn’t take too long.
He looks at the painting Zoe is looking at.
JUAN
Do you know her work?
ZOE
She’s one of my favourite artists.
JUAN
Really? I’ll take note of that. Fancy some wine?
ZOE
No, I’m okay, thanks. I’m driving.
JUAN
Any water or juice? Maria makes a delicious errr, how do you call sandia…?
Zoe squints, tighten her lips.
JUAN
A big fruit, green outside and red–
ZOE
Watermelon?
JUAN
That’s the one. Maria makes delicious watermelon juice. Do you want to try?
ZOE
Sure.
Juan motions to Adriano, who comes quickly to his command.
JUAN
Please, ask Maria to prepare her special jugo de sandia for my guest. We’ll be outside.
Adriano nods and disappears.
Juan motions Zoe to the garden.
JUAN
Shall we?
Juan leads Zoe outside.
EXT. GARDEN – DAY
Juan and Zoe seat at a table near the swimming pool under a big umbrella. The sun is shining and the ocean views is astonishing.
Zoe drinks her WATERMELON JUICE while Juan has a whiskey. She notices TWO MEN, both in their forties, dressed in black, each one carrying small devices similar to radio transmitters.
JUAN
Are you okay?
Zoe smiles nervously, dissimulates.
ZOE
Err.. Are you afraid of being assaulted or something?
Juan eyes his employees.
JUAN
I like the feeling of being protected. Don’t you?
ZOE
We’re in Australia, you don’t need to worry much about it.
JUAN
It takes only one tentative to make you feel uncomfortable even living in a safe country like this, cariño.
ZOE
What did you call me?
JUAN
Sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you. I said cariño. It’s hard to translate some words to English because they lose the real meaning. It’s something like saying my dear, or sweetie. But see? Calling you sweetie doesn’t have the same power as cariño.
ZOE
I heard someone saying that if you translate Gabriel Garcia Marques into English, the novel had two hundred pages less.
They laugh.
JUAN
Exactly.
Zoe takes a deep breath and picks up her computer. She opens it and starts making notes.
JUAN
You’re an amazing professional. You brought life to my office.
ZOE
I haven’t finished yet.
JUAN
My bad, sorry. Bad English. I meant you bring life.
ZOE
Thank you. And your English is great.
JUAN
I’m glad that I found you.
She smiles but doesn’t answer. She starts taping some notes nervously.
ZOE
Well, me too. I mean, I’m really glad to work for you on this project. It really means a lot to me.
JUAN
Good to know.
A moment of silence.
ZOE
I’m just writing down some notes we discussed if you don’t mind.
JUAN
No, of course.
He gives a sip on his drink, lays back and crosses his legs comfortably. He squints and locks his eyes on her.
JUAN
May I ask you something?
ZOE
Sure.
JUAN
Is there any mister Muller in your life?
Zoe blushes. It’s impossible not to resist his flirt but she keeps taking notes.
ZOE
Err… No, no mister Muller in my life.
JUAN
Any misses?
She stops writing for a second, clears her throat, takes another sip of her juice.
ZOE
No. No misses, no one in my life.
JUAN
Que desperdicio una mujer tan linda como vos.
Zoe scoffs softly.
ZOE
What did you say again?
JUAN
Nothing. I was just thinking out loud here. Let’s get back to work, shall we? Another juice?
Zoe nods nervously and takes a deep breath, while Juan motions to one of his men to grab another juice.
EXT./INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
Zoe arrives and sees her mother getting out of a car but doesn’t see the driver.
Katrina tells Zoe it’s her father. Zoe rages. She wants her to see her father again as she knows she’s still with Paula.
They argue. Zoe drives away and notices she’s been followed.
EXT. PAULA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Zoe arrives at Paula’s house; she waits anxiously for the driver who is chasing her to pass.
Paula’s man, Victor, passes slowly with the car, greets Zoe and moves on.
Zoe rings the bell; there’s no answer.
She calls Paula, but it goes to her voice mail. She gets in the car, waits a while. Tries to find some music on her Spotify, but nothing pleases her.
She taps her fingers on the steering wheel, looks around. She takes a deep breath, exhales, starts the car engine and drives away.
EXT. STREETS/FRONT OF RESTAURANT – NIGHT
A bit further away, Zoe sees Paula’s car in front of a close restaurant. She parks the car and walks around.
At the back of the restaurant, there’s a nice garden; Zoe hears someone talking. Her eyes wide seeing Paula with another VIVIAN (30), well-groomed, slim woman with long, dark hair.
Zoe stands still watching them. When they are about to kiss each other, Vivian notices Zoe. Paula looks back, they eyes met. Zoe’s mouth “FUCK YOU” and leaves.
Paula follows her.
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT
Zoe cries, drives dangerously through the quiet streets.
EXT. BOTANIC PAR – NIGHT
Zoe stops the car in front of the botanic park, slams the car door, walks through the darkness and yells.
Paula arrives. (She begs Zoe to don’t go anymore to Juan’s house, that she’s in danger and she can’t protect her for much longer. They argue.)
ZOE
Why are you doing this to me?
PAULA
Because I love you.
END: Zoe retreats, no action, like James when he heard it from her. Zoe runs to her car and leaves.
EXT. STREETS OF SYDNEY – NIGHT
Zoe cries while driving through the streets. She stops at the red traffic light, signalling left. Above, a sign indicating Tamarama ahead, city to the left. She stares at it for a moment, wonders.
The traffic lights to the left turn green and she doesn’t move; she taps her fingers on the steering wheel nervously.
The main light turns green, she mouths “FUCK”, and speeds driving forward.
—– MIDPOINT —-
EXT. FRONT OF JUAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Zoe parks her car in front of Juan’s house and stares at it. She looks at herself in the car’s rearview mirror, rubs her face, smooths her hair. She stares at her image and leans back against the car seat.
She looks sideways at the house and sighs heavily.
ZOE
(to herself)
What are you doing, Zoe?
Zoe closes her eyes gives another sigh, and when she moves to turn on her car, Adriano appears out of nowhere and knocks at her window. She jumps in fright.
ZOE
For Christ sake!
ADRIANO
Sorry if I scared you.
She opens her window breaths heavily.
ADRIANO
Mi patrón waits for you.
Zoe frowns glances sideways. Adriano waits patiently with a soft smile.
She hesitates for a moment, takes a deep breath and follows him.
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – MAIN LOUNGE – NIGHT
Zoe walks in, followed by Adriano, who closes the door softly and leads her to the main lounge. A piece of soft Cuban music plays in the background.
Adriano leads her to sit on a comfortable sofa when Juan appears. He wears bright, comfy clothes contrasting beautifully with his tanned olive skin.
JUAN
There she is.
He approaches, holding a glass of whisky. He kisses her softly, stops for a second, moves slightly close to her neck and smells her skin.
JUAN
Not sure if I recognize this perfume.
Zoe clears her throat nervously.
ZOE
I’m not wearing any perfume.
JUAN
A natural sense, then.
He backs away and stares at her.
JUAN
I like it.
She glances at his soft, tempting lips and looks away nervously.
Juan scoffs softly, charmingly, and motions her to another area of the house.
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – ENTERTAINMENT ROOM – NIGHT
The living room is large, with a glass wall overlooking the sea. The lights of the surrounding mansions add to the charm of the look. The music comes from there.
Colourful artwork frames are hung on the wall. Zoe eyes everything in detail while Juan pours brandy on a glass. She notices there’s cocaine lined in a plate nearby.
Juan approaches and gives the glass to her. He glances at the drug.
JUAN
I hope you don’t mind.
ZOE
No, not at all.
They toast, she sips her drink. He doesn’t stop admiring her.
JUAN
I wonder why you took so long to come in and knock on my door.
ZOE
How did you know I was here?
JUAN
You didn’t answer my question.
ZOE
(blows her mouth)
I wasn’t sure if it was the right move to make.
JUAN
Did you argue with someone?
She avoids eye contact.
ZOE
Mom… She drives me crazy sometimes.
JUAN
I see. Mothers can be too controlling. They believe they own us till the end of their lives.
He takes the cocaine and prepares another line. He motions it to her, but she doesn’t accept it.
JUAN
My mother was a little bit like that, sometimes too much. We used to have big arguments, mainly when I took some girlfriends home, you know.
He snorts a line, closes his eyes for a second, exhales with pleasure and takes a sip of his drink.
JUAN
Then she would come and make me pray with her because it was a sin what I was doing. No, no, no, I couldn’t have sex before marriage; it was a nightmare for her.
He giggles softly, stares at the view outside for a moment and places a kiss on the golden cross of his neckless.
JUAN
I learned how to pray with her.
Juan stares at her.
JUAN
Do you know how to pray?
ZOE
Yes.
JUAN
And what about dancing to Cuban music?
Zoe scoffs softly and locks eyes with him.
SERIES OF SHOTS
Juan and Zoe dance to Cuban music.
They have sex; they talk a lot. They laugh.
Juan snorts cocaine, Zoe watches, he offers her, and she accepts. They have more sex.
Zoe snorts more cocaine while he talks; she rolls her eyes, yells and jumps excitedly; they dance more, they laugh more, they have a good time.
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – NIGHT
Juan sleeps deeply, but Zoe can’t relax. She looks sideways and slowly gets out of the bed. Silently, Zoe wears her clothes and eyes a small pack of cocaine intact placed on top of a small table near the bed.
She walks towards it and hesitates for a moment. She looks at Juan over her shoulders; he sleeps deeply. She opens the drawer curious and finds more. Zoe twists her lips, glances at him again, grabs two small packs when she sees a gun inside the drawer. She walks back, eyes wide open. She closes the drawer slowly, places the cocaine in her bag and leaves.
Juan opens her eyes but doesn’t say anything.
EXT. JUAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Zoe is about to enter her car when she hears a noise coming from the back of the wall. She looks sideways. There’s no one. She moves forward and hears that someone is getting beaten up.
She identifies a car parked nearby. It’s from the man who was chasing her.
Suddenly, her eyes are wide open, and we only hear the sound of someone hitting a person with hardwood, followed by the sound of a body falling to the ground.
Zoe’s eyes well, jaws dropped. She moves backwards and rushes to her car. She opens the door nervously and speeds.
Adriano sees her leaving. He holds a baseball bat with a bloodstain.
INT./EXT. CAR – NIGHT
Zoe cries, speeds, mumbles inaudible words. She drives careless; doesn’t pay attention to traffic lights when she passes through a police car.
The policeman turns on his car lights and follows her.
Zoe looks through the rearview mirror.
ZOE
Shit!
She pulls over, breaths heavily. She opens the car window and waits for the police officer, who carries a flashlight in his hand. She mumbles a few words as if praying, nip biting the tip of her thumb.
The policeman checks her driver license, they talk briefly, she nods. He gives her the breathalyzer, she blows it for a few seconds, sees the results.
POLICEMAN
I need to seize your driver’s license, Ms Muller. You can call someone to pick up your car. You must come with me, please.
She sighs heavily, doesn’t argue. Grabs her bag, locks the car and gets into the police car.
-
Andrea Cabañas, ACT 2 TP – Midpoint
I learned from this that I had to go back one more time a few scenes ago to get into the momentum of my Midpoint. Plus, I discovered more vital layers in my protagonist, making her more vulnerable; therefore, the ‘no way out’ is more believable.
MIDPOINT OUTLINE
EXT. FRONT OF JUAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Zoe parks her car but can’t go in. Adriano meets her outside.
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Paula and Juan have sex. She tries cocaine for the first time and enjoys it.
EXT. JUAN’S HOUSE
When leaving unnoticed, she sees something suspicious. She speeds.
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT
The police catch Zoe: she’s still drunk and high. They find a small pack of cocaine with her (or she just hid, and they didn’t find it?).
MIDPOINT SCENE
EXT. FRONT OF JUAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Zoe parks her car in front of Juan’s house and stares at it. She looks at herself in the car’s rearview mirror, rubs her face, smooths her hair. She stares at her image and leans back against the car seat.
She looks sideways at the house and sighs heavily.
ZOE
(to herself)
What are you doing, Zoe?
Zoe closes her eyes gives another sigh, and when she moves to turn on her car, Adriano appears out of nowhere and knocks at her window. She jumps in fright.
ZOE
For Christ sake!
ADRIANO
Sorry if I scared you.
She opens her window breaths heavily.
ADRIANO
Mi patrón waits for you.
Zoe frowns glances sideways. Adriano waits patiently with a soft smile.
She hesitates for a moment, takes a deep breath and follows him.
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Zoe walks in, followed by Adriano, who closes the door softly and leads her to the main lounge. A piece of soft Cuban music plays in the background.
Adriano leads her to sit on a comfortable sofa when Juan appears. He wears bright, comfy clothes contrasting beautifully with his tanned olive skin.
JUAN
There she is.
He approaches, holding a glass of whisky. He kisses her softly, stops for a second, moves slightly close to her neck and smells her skin.
JUAN
Not sure if I recognize this perfume.
Zoe clears her throat nervously.
ZOE
I’m not wearing any perfume.
JUAN
A natural sense, then.
He backs away and stares at her.
JUAN
I like it.
She glances at his soft, tempting lips and looks away nervously.
Juan scoffs softly, charmingly, and motions her to another area of the house.
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – ENTERTAINMENT ROOM – NIGHT
The living room is large, with a glass wall overlooking the sea. The lights of the surrounding mansions add to the charm of the look. The music comes from there.
Colourful artwork frames are hung on the wall. Zoe eyes everything in detail while Juan pours brandy on a glass. She notices there’s cocaine lined in a plate nearby.
Juan approaches and gives the glass to her. He glances at the drug.
JUAN
I hope you don’t mind.
ZOE
No, not at all.
They toast, she sips her drink. He doesn’t stop admiring her.
JUAN
I wonder why you took so long to come in and knock on my door.
ZOE
How did you know I was here?
JUAN
You didn’t answer my question.
ZOE
(blows her mouth)
I wasn’t sure if it was the right move to make.
JUAN
Did you argue with someone?
She avoids eye contact.
ZOE
Mom… She drives me crazy sometimes.
JUAN
I see. Mothers can be too controlling. They believe they own us till the end of their lives.
He takes the cocaine and prepares another line. He motions it to her, but she doesn’t accept it.
JUAN
My mother was a little bit like that, sometimes too much. We used to have big arguments, mainly when I took some girlfriends home, you know.
He snorts a line, closes his eyes for a second, exhales with pleasure and takes a sip of his drink.
JUAN
Then she would come and make me pray with her because it was a sin what I was doing. No, no, no, I couldn’t have sex before marriage; it was a nightmare for her.
He giggles softly, stares at the view outside for a moment and places a kiss on the golden cross of his neckless.
JUAN
I learned how to pray with her.
Juan stares at her.
JUAN
Do you know how to pray?
ZOE
Yes.
JUAN
And what about dancing to Cuban music?
Zoe scoffs softly and locks eyes with him.
SERIES OF SHOTS
Juan and Zoe dance to Cuban music.
They have sex; they talk a lot. They laugh.
Juan snorts cocaine, Zoe watches, he offers her, and she accepts. They have more sex.
Zoe snorts more cocaine while he talks; she rolls her eyes, yells and jumps excitedly; they dance more, they laugh more, they have a good time.
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – NIGHT
Juan sleeps deeply, but Zoe can’t relax. She looks sideways and slowly gets out of the bed. Silently, Zoe wears her clothes and eyes a small pack of cocaine intact placed on top of a small table near the bed.
She walks towards it and hesitates for a moment. She looks at Juan over her shoulders; he sleeps deeply. She opens the drawer curious and finds more. Zoe twists her lips, glances at him again, grabs two small packs when she sees a gun inside the drawer. She walks back, eyes wide open. She closes the drawer slowly, places the cocaine in her bag and leaves.
Juan opens her eyes but doesn’t say anything.
EXT. JUAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Zoe is about to enter her car when she hears a noise coming from the back of the wall. She looks sideways. There’s no one. She moves forward and hears that someone is getting beaten up.
Suddenly, her eyes are wide open, and we only hear the sound of someone hitting a person with hard wood, followed by the sound of a body falling to the ground.
Zoe’s eyes well, jaws dropped. She moves backwards and rushes to her car. She opens the door nervously and speeds.
Adriano sees her leaving. He holds a baseball bat with a bloodstain.
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT
Zoe cries, speeds and mumbles inaudible words. She drives careless; doesn’t pay attention to traffic lights when she passes through a police car.
The POLICEMAN turns on his car lights and follows her. With no way out, Zoe pulls over and waits to breathe heavily. She keeps mumbling words as if praying.
-
Andrea Cabañas, ACT 2 Middle Scenes
What I learned with this is that I also had to go back a few scenes/ACT 1 to fix some gaps missing so, therefore, made more sense to work on this assignment. I couldn’t write the Key scene 3 on time but had it ‘outlined’. I’m sure I’ll be back soon to write/rewrite it while doing the following assignments.
KEY SCENE 2
After knowing the truth about Juan, Zoe’s tempted to step back but her willingness to have her independence is bigger. She decides to go ahead, pretend she doesn’t know anything and keep with it. She goes to Juan’s place, makes the project successfully, even going against Paula’s warnings.
Suddenly, she feels attracted to this world and Juan seduces her.
KEY SCENE 3
Zoe goes too far and Juan becomes suspicious. One day she makes a joke like she knows he’s a drug dealer or something. When they’re at his place, he becomes a bit vicious and snaps her. He apologises and sends her a bunch of flowers at her place (?). One night at his house, he snorts cocaine and offers it to her. She has some and goes home when the police catch her driving high. He goes to court and loses her driver’s license.
MONTAGE
Zoe works day and night in her bedroom on Juan’s project.
She talks over the phone while scribbles over drawings scattered on the table.
She visits Juan’s office, talks to workers doing their jobs.
Katrina argues with Zoe back home while Zoe tries to concentrate on her work.
Zoe makes love with Paula.
Sleepy, Zoe works on her computer later at night.
Zoe shows Juan the project on her computer screen. Paula’s security man watches them from a distance.
The first payment comes into her account. She dances on her own celebrating.
Zoe makes love with Paula.
INT./EXT. JUAN’S HOUSE – DAY
ADRIANO (’40), Juan’s security guard leads Zoe to a spacious room where a grand piano stands. There’s a nice view of Sydney’s Tamarama Beach.
Zoe walks through the beautiful, spacious lounge. There are paintings of Frida Kahlo and Andy Warhol on the walls. She stares at Frida Kahlo’s.
Juan arrives wearing bright linen trousers and a white T-shirt. He’s hot.
JUAN
Sorry to keep you waiting.
ZOE
That’s okay. It didn’t take too long.
He looks at the painting Zoe is looking at.
JUAN
Do you know her work?
ZOE
She’s one of my favourite artists.
JUAN
Really? I’ll take note of that. Fancy some wine?
ZOE
No, I’m okay, thanks. I’m driving.
JUAN
Any water or juice? Maria makes a delicious errr, how do you call sandia…?
Zoe squints, tighten her lips.
JUAN
A big fruit, green outside and red–
ZOE
Watermelon?
JUAN
That’s the one. Maria makes delicious watermelon juice. Do you want to try?
ZOE
Sure.
Juan motions to Adriano, who comes quickly to his command.
JUAN
Please, ask Maria to prepare her special jugo de sandia for my guest. We’ll be outside.
Adriano nods and disappears.
Juan motions Zoe to the garden.
JUAN
Shall we?
Juan leads Zoe outside.
EXT. GARDEN – DAY
Juan and Zoe seat at a table near the swimming pool under a big umbrella. The sun is shining and the ocean views is astonishing.
Zoe drinks her WATERMELON JUICE while Juan has a whiskey. She notices TWO MEN, both in their forties, dressed in black, each one carrying small devices similar to radio transmitters.
ZOE
Are you afraid of being assaulted or something?
Juan eyes his employees.
JUAN
I like the feeling of being protected. Don’t you?
ZOE
We’re in Australia, you don’t need to worry much about it.
JUAN
It takes only one tentative to make you feel uncomfortable even living in a safe country like this, cariño.
ZOE
What did you call me?
JUAN
Sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you. I said cariño. It’s hard to translate some words to English because they lose the real meaning. It’s something like saying my dear, or sweetie. But see? Calling you sweetie doesn’t have the same power as cariño.
ZOE
I heard someone saying that if you translate Gabriel Garcia Marques into English, the novel had two hundred pages less.
They laugh.
JUAN
Exactly.
Zoe takes a deep breath and picks up her computer. She opens it and starts making notes.
JUAN
You’re an amazing professional. You brought life to my office.
ZOE
I haven’t finished yet.
JUAN
My bad, sorry. Bad English. I meant you bring life.
ZOE
Thank you. And your English is great.
JUAN
I’m glad that I found you.
She smiles but doesn’t answer. She starts taping some notes nervously.
ZOE
Well, me too. I mean, I’m really glad to work for you on this project. It really means a lot to me.
JUAN
Good to know.
A moment of silence.
ZOE
I’m just writing down some notes we discussed if you don’t mind.
JUAN
No, of course.
He gives a sip on his drink, lays back and crosses his legs comfortably. He squints and locks his eyes on her.
JUAN
May I ask you something?
ZOE
Sure.
JUAN
Is there any mister Muller in your life?
Zoe blushes. It’s impossible not to resist his flirt but she keeps taking notes.
ZOE
Err… No, no mister Muller in my life.
JUAN
Any misses?
She stops writing for a second, clears her throat, takes another sip of her juice.
ZOE
No. No misses, no one in my life.
JUAN
Que desperdicio una mujer tan linda como vos.
Zoe scoffs softly.
ZOE
What did you say again?
JUAN
Nothing. I was just thinking out loud here. Let’s get back to work, shall we? Another juice?
Zoe nods nervously and takes a deep breath, while Juan motions to one of his men to grab another juice.
XXXXXXXX
-
Andrea Cabañas, Act 2 Reaction to TP 1
What I learned from this assignment was that I got deeper in my characters and discovered things I haven’t discovered yet, which changed a little bit my turning point. I’m so happy with the results because I finally discovered what really is at stake for my character.
ACT 2
—- REACTION TO TURNING POINT —-
OUTLINE
EXT. STREETS – DAY
BEGINNING: Zoe talks to Georgia over the phone.
MIDDLE: she hangs up and sees Paula near her car.
END: Paula takes Zoe for a drive and tells her about Juan.
INT. CAR – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Zoe and Paula are seated behind the car. DIEGO (50), a big scar on his chin drives the car. The window between driver and passenger is closed.
BEGINNING: Zoe tells she’s not avoiding Paula, she’s just busy. Paula asks about the new project.
MIDDLE: Paula tells Zoe she’s in danger; Zoe doesn’t believe in her.
END: Paula shows Zoe pictures of Juan to Zoe, who’s in shock, ‘Are you following me?’. They kiss. Paula drops her off back to Zoe’s car.
SCENES
EXT. STREETS – DAY
Zoe walks on the street proud of the meeting she had. She speaks over the phone with Georgia.
ZOE
… Yes, right? That’s what I thought. He really liked that, thanks for the tip.
(pause)
We set another day to check his house, and it seems a big project. You should have seen his office, it’s– Okay then, talk to you soon. I have to go home to pick up more clothes so I’ll be there later on. Cheers, buy.
Zoe turns off her mobile and sees Paula leaned over her car at the other side of the road. Their eyes met, she hesitates but keep walking.
Paula approaches, she’s elegantly dressed with white pants.
PAULA
Hi.
ZOE
Hi.
PAULA
Are you okay?
ZOE
Yes. You?
Paula looks sideways and places her hands in her pockets.
PAULA
We must talk.
ZOE
I don’t have anything to talk to you.
Paula scoffs, opens the car door and motions Zoe to get in.
PAULA
Please.
Zoe stares at her for a second, takes a deep sigh and enters.
INT. CAR – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Zoe and Paula are seated behind the car. DIEGO (50), dark hair and a big scar on his chin drives the car. The inside window between the driver and passengers is closed.
ZOE
What’s happening?
PAULA
Where were you?
Zoe frowns.
ZOE
Eerrr… Working?
PAULA
Working?
ZOE
Yeah, I had a meeting with a client, what is it? Do I need to give you details about everything I do during the day now?
Paula sighs.
PAULA
I just need to know who’s your client, that’s all.
Zoe scoffs.
ZOE
Got it. You lent me money to open my business and now you want to control my clients.
PAULA
There’s nothing to do with it. Just answer me, who was the client?
Zoe looks away reluctant, places her hand in her mouth and nip bites her thumb before talking.
PAULA
Please.
ZOE
His name is Matias, Matias Gon… Forgot his surname. He’s from Colombia, lives here for–
Paula scoffs nervously and mutters.
PAULA
(in Spanish)
Hijo de puta.
ZOE
What did you say?
Paula reaches her mobile phone, opens some pictures and hands it to Zoe. Pictures of Juan.
ZOE
What is this?
PAULA
Keep scrolling till the last pictures.
Zoe scrolls it and sees her picture having lunch with him. She stares at Paula with wide eyes.
ZOE
What… Are you following me? This is ridiculous.
She hits the glass window.
ZOE
Stop the car! Stop this fucking car!
Diego looks over his shoulder but doesn’t pay much attention to her.
Paula speaks with lower voice tone, but authoritative.
PAULA
This man is Juan Estigarribia, the one the police detectives are looking for.
Zoe stops but doesn’t face Paula.
PAULA
We worked together long time ago. They set me a trap and he went to jail…
She stares at the window outside. Zoe leans back to her sit, staring at the other side nibbling her thumb again.
PAULA
… And I was blamed for it. Now I understand why he’s here in Sydney. You must stop seeing him.
A moment of silence.
ZOE
And why should I believe in you?
PAULA
Because it’s the truth.
ZOE
The truth? Really? So please tell me, who are you!
Paula smiles and answers calmly.
PAULA
Paula Ortega.
ZOE
Where’re you from?
PAULA
I was born in Tijuana, Mexico, had some business with the narco–
ZOE
(scoffs)
Fuck.
PAULA
… But gave up this life years ago. Moved to Barcelona, where I lived for almost eight years and now I’m here, with you.
Zoe faces Paula.
ZOE
I can’t do this.
Paula places her hand onto Zoe’s hand and squeezes it.
PAULA
You need to stay away from him. For sure he’s up to something.
ZOE
(to herself)
This project is my freedom. I’ll buy my own place and–
PAULA
Is it money what you need? I’ll give you money but stay away from him!
ZOE
I don’t want your bloody money! Thank you for everything you gave to me and I’m glad I paid you back but now it’s my time to do my things!
PAULA
Hey, listen to me.
They stare at each other.
PAULA
This man is dangerous. Don’t get involved with him.
ZOE
I’m already involved since the first time I met you, Paula.
-
What I learned from this assignment is that everything becomes easy when you have side by side your beat sheet and your outline scenes. I still have to finish some outlines but again, I’m getting better at writing scenes without worrying much about the wording length, grammar, etc. Whenever I’m tempted to stop to correct something, I force myself to move forward.
ACT 1
INT. BEDROOM – DAY – DREAM
Candlelights are scattered on the place; light white curtains blow with the wind—the sound of WAVES crash on the nearby beach.
Zoe sits comfortably on a cozy sofa in the middle of the room. She’s accompanied by a WOMAN whose face doesn’t show.
The woman explores Zoe’s body with her hands; she kisses Zoe’s skin. Their semi-naked bodies touch gently.
FRANZ (70), wrinkled face in a dark suit, stares at them with a judgmental look behind the curtain. He holds a small BIBLE in his hands and mumbles inaudible words.
Zoe and Franz’s eyes met. She tries to say something, but her voice doesn’t come out. She’s succumbed to the pleasure she has.
The woman goes down on her. With eyes semi-closed, Zoe surrenders to the pleasure; she squirms on the sofa while the man spells words to the air. Zoe grits her teeth, her breath speeds and her eyelids tremble until
INT. BEACH HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY
Zoe wakes up with an orgasm. She omens softly, touches herself under the quilt and cringes, feeling the surreal orgasm she just had.
Zoe looks around the bedroom: two towels thrown on a chair, two backpacks left half-open in the corner of the room. A breeze stirs the curtains; the WAVES could be heard in the background.
JAMES (42), shirtless, sleeps beside her. She stares at him, lets out a deep sigh.
She reaches for her phone; it reads 6:17 AM and has a few missing calls from Paula. Zoe turns off her phone and covers her face with a pillow.
INT/EXT. JAMES CAR – DAY
James drives in silence down the mountain road; his tanned skin seems to bring out his green eyes. They listen to funky, jazzy music.
Zoe stares at him with a smirk.
JAMES
What?
ZOE
So that’s it? You won’t say a word until all the way home.
JAMES
(scoffs softly)
I’m just listening to the music.
ZOE
Okay then…
Zoe looks out over the landscape, her gaze lost among the green mountains in the distance. With her elbow resting on the car door, she brings her hand to her lips and softly bites the tip of her thumb.
James glances at her and tries to reach her hand softly, with eyes still on the road.
JAMES
Come on, don’t do this.
She slips out of his hand and scoffs.
ZOE
What? What am I doing?
Both smile, Zoe looks away again.
ZOE
You keep your eye on the road.
A moment of silence.
Zoe places her hand on her mouth again and sings softly the song playing on the radio. James taps his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music. He glances at her, then at the road.
JAMES
It’s a lot to take in, sorry.
ZOE
What do you mean?
JAMES
No one has ever said this to me before.
Zoe frowns and stares at him.
ZOE
Really?
James has eyes fixed on the road.
JAMES
Yep.
Zoe twists her lips.
ZOE
Not even your girlfriend?
He frowns, scoffs.
JAMES
Girlfriend? Where did you get this from?
Zoe shrugs, scoff softly and looks away.
ZOE
I don’t know. Don’t listen to me.
A song she likes starts playing; she turns up the volume. She sings, moves with the funky rhythm; she teases him to sing, who smiles and starts singing while driving on the road by the coast.
EXT./INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
James helps Zoe to take her backpack out of the car. Although both are smiling and everything seems okay, Zoe senses this is a farewell.
Katrina watches them from the house front window.
James hands the second bag to Zoe.
ZOE
Cheers.
She takes both bags and waits. She feels a bit tense before moving to the house.
JAMES
You be okay?
Zoe glances at the bags and scoffs.
ZOE
Yes, sure. I can handle it.
A moment of silence, both avoid eye contact. Zoe takes a deep breath. James break the silence.
JAMES
Good luck with your new project. You’ll see, everything will go well.
ZOE
Hope so.
James notices Katrina at the window, who hides. Zoe glances at her from her shoulder and scoffs.
ZOE
My goal now is to stop making mistakes. This project will help me to put my finances on track and then, freedom!
JAMES
That’s the vibe.
He comes closer. She tilts her head, twists her lips. He pulls her fringe behind her ears softly and stares at her.
JAMES
You’re a special woman.
They kiss and have a long embrace. Zoe smells his neck, she doesn’t want to let go. Holds her cry. He walks to the car.
JAMES
Okay then. I’ll give you a call.
ZOE
Thanks for the ride.
She bows.
ZOE
And for the weekend.
He laughs.
JAMES
Stop it.
He starts the engine and waves from the car. She stares him driving and talks to herself.
ZOE
Yeah, Zoe… You ruined everything.
She sighs, takes her bags and walks into the house.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE/LOUNGE – DAY – CONTINUOS
Katrina meets Zoe in the lounge.
KATRINA
Why he didn’t get in?
ZOE
He never got in here, Mom. Besides, I think you scared him.
She motions the window, Katrina clears her throat.
KATRINA
I just wanted make sure it was you, that’s all.
Zoe goes to the kitchen bench and look for a mail among the ones in there.
ZOE
Nothing for me this time?
KATRINA
The usual crap. NGOs asking for money. Gosh, there’re so many!
Zoe takes a few envelopes, walks to the kitchen bench and picks up an apple.
ZOE
Institutions that I’m proud of helping, Mom. They need it.
KATRINA
Who cares about dolphins in Aquariums or shark culling?
ZOE
I do, thanks.
Katrina eyes her.
KATRINA
How was the trip?
ZOE
I screwd up.
KATRINA
What happened?
Zoe stares at the apple, furrow brows.
ZOE
(sighs)
The usual. We had a good time, had fun, laughed, pretended we’re a happy couple and then–
She bites her apple.
ZOE
And then. The end.
Zoe picks her backpaks, her letters and goes to her bedroom. Katrina follows.
KATRINA
That friend of yours, Paula, came here after you.
Zoe halts, talks over her shoulder.
ZOE
What did she want?
KATRINA
(smirks)
Talk to you, I suppose.
Zoe faces her and stares Katrina.
KATRINA
I told her you had traveled with your boyfriend.
ZOE
Boyfriend? Mom, James is not my boyfriend!
Zoe stomps to her bedroom. Katrina follows.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE/ZOE’S BEDROOM – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Katrina enters the bedroom after Zoe, who throws her backpacks on her bad. She changes her clothes to something more comfortable.
KATRINA
So what is he? You go out with him, don’t go home for days when you’re with him and he’s not your boyfriend? So what is it? What kind of relationship is this one? It’s all about sex nowadays, is that what you’re saying?
Zoe talks without making eye contact with Katrina. She rips clothes out of her backpack, throws dirty clothes into the laundry basket. Their voice tone increase while they talk.
ZOE
Yes, Mom, it’s all about sex! I wish he was my boyfriend but he doesn’t want to!
JAMES
Why? What did you do for him not to want to be your boyfriend, to be your husband?
Zoe mumbles.
ZOE
Because he doesn’t love me.
Katrina doesn’t hear it. She coms closer.
KATRINA
What did you say?
Zoe faces Katrina.
ZOE
Because he doesn’t love me, that’s it. He doesn’t love me!
Both stare at each other for a moment. Zoe holds her cry.
KATRINA
Is this because of Paula?
Zoe clenches her teeth and take a deep breath.
ZOE
Paula doesn’t have anything to do with this, Mom. Nothing happened between us. We’re just friends.
KATRINA
Bullshit! She wants something from you, I can see in her eyes. What a woman at her age want with a girl like you if not leading you down the wrong path of committing a sin.
ZOE
A sin?
KATRINA
(preaches)
“Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin.”
ZOE
That’s enough Mom.
KATRINA
What does this woman want so much from you?
Zoe leads her mother to the door.
ZOE
Nothing, Mom! We are just friends. That’s all.
Katrina leaves and walks toward kitchen
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE/KITCHEN – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Katrina goes to the bench where mail are placed and picks up a big yellow envelope addressed to her. She stares at it for a few seconds before open it.
She rips open the envelope and takes the contents. There’s a letter and a few pictures in it. Katrina widens her eyes at what she sees; eyes well. She puts everything back into the envelope, close her eyes and prays silently.
EXT. WINERY – DAY
It’s a sunny day. Zoe has lunch with her friend GEORGIA TERLECKAS (’40s), trans woman, well-groomed; still with minor masculine features but very feminine when she talks.
CARLOS (25), a Brazilian waiter who knows them well, serves them some bubbles.
CARLOS
Well done!
With chin up and chest out, Georgia bows as thanking him.
CARLOS
Is there anything else I can bring you before the meal?
ZOE
Nah, we’re okay, thanks, Carlos.
Carlos leaves and Georgia eyes him. Zoe teases her.
ZOE
Someone is learning Portuguese here.
GEORGIA
It’s just a word. I like words. And I like him.
Zoe looks back to see him again.
ZOE
Yeah… not too bad, but too young, Giorgie, come on.
GEORGIA
I know, but–who knows!
They raise their glasses to make a toast. A moment of silence. Zoe leans back and looks around the place. She notices Georgia watching her.
ZOE
What?
GEROGIA
Can I be judjemental?
Zoe puts her hands up like she’s surrendering herself.
GEORGIA
You can ever never say I love you to a bloke, you hear me?
ZOE
I know but–I had to say something, you know. It was like I had something in my throat that need to be taken out, expelled.
GEORGIA
Mmmm.
ZOE
We were having such a great time, I was feeling so happy, I never felt like this before. And really, we were just walking and–
GEORGIA
And…?
ZOE
And bam, I just said, I put it out.
She leans forward, Georgia does the same.
ZOE
And you know what? I felt great. I felt like a bird getting out of a cage or something. It’s weird but, you know, even though I knew he would disappear, I didn’t care, I just needed to say it out loud–and for him.
Georgia takes a sip of her wine, puts the glass on the table and claps.
GEORGIA
Honey, you did the most difficult thing that someone can do in this world. Bravo.
Zoe looks down and smiles.
ZOE
He was so quiet afterwards.
GEORGIA
Well, When you hear someone say I love you, it’s just as strong as saying it to the person, isn’t it?
ZOE
I guess so. That’s why I don’t blame me. But well, now I’m free to do whatever I want, babe.
Georgia shakes her shoulders with eyebrows up.
GEORGIA
Which means…
She mouths Paula without pronouncing a sound. Zoe sighs.
ZOE
Ahhh, I don’t know.
GEORGIA
You don’t know! I’ll tell you what, hun. She’s hot, looks like Penelope Cruz, she’s a successful woman, loaned you money to start your own business without asking you to pay her back–
ZOE
That’s the prob–
Georgia puts up her hand.
GEORGIA
Nah, nah, nah! I haven’t finished. She’s chic, and I love the way she dresses by the way. She’s Spanish, I bet she dances flamenco and she has a crush on you. What are you waiting for?
ZOE
I know but… I’m not sure if I have the guts.
Georgia frowns, twists her lips.
GEORGIA
The guts of what? Having sex with a woman?
Zoe looks around and leans forward.
ZOE
I’m confused.
GEORGIA
About what? There’s nothing wrong being gay.
ZOE
But I’m not gay.
GEORGIA
Oh yes, you’re bi. What’s wrong being a bisexual? Hello, I’m a trans woman and I am happy with that.
ZOE
I know, I didn’t mean that–But mom’s suspicious and is making my life a hell.
GEORGIA
A hell? You don’t know what it means your family making your life a hell, believe me.
Georgia gives another sip of her wine. Carlos approaches with their lunch and serves Georgia first.
CARLOS
The Barramundi with caramelised onions and veggies in a white wine sauce Georgia…
Georgia giggles.
GEORGIA
I love the way you pronounce my name.
CARLOS
And the vegan gnocci with capsicum sauce with green olives and a hint of mint for Zoe.
He checks the wine bottle, quite empty.
CARLOS
Should I bring another bottle?
GEORGIA
Why not? We’re not driving today.
They cheers. Carlos leaves.
GEORGIA
Anyway, back to the theme, you need to get out of your house, that’s what you need.
ZOE
As if it was an easy thing to do.
GEORGIA
Hun, you have to catch up on your debts ASAP and start saving money, otherwise you will live forever with your controlling mother.
ZOE
(sighs deeply)
I know. But let’s change the subject.
GEORGIA
Of course. I don’t know how can you be vegan.
ZOE
And I don’t know how can you eat plastic?
Georgia rolls her eyes, both laugh, enjoying the meal in the cozy restaurant.
EXT. CAFE – DAY
Zoe, Georgia and Paula meet. Paula encourages Zoe to start her own business and helps her financially.
Katrina watches her daughter from a distance in her car.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
Katrina rages, knowing her daughter is having sex with another woman. Zoe denies. Katrina shows pictures of Zoe together with Paula—she hired a private detective to follow her and has evidence of it. Zoe keeps denying it.
TE 1: Katrina yells at Zoe between arguments showing her dominant power over the daughter
PLACEHOLDER: they argue badly, and Zoe tells Katrina that she will leave her as soon as she gets a project. Katrina reacts.
INT. PAULA’S OFFICE – DAY
Zoe accepts Paula’s help, and both make plans for Zoe’s website. They talk about their relationship and make love. Zoe gains confidence and celebrates with Georgia in a pub.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Katrina hears when Zoe arrives. They talk, and Katrina pretends to be calmer—she even prepared dinner for her daughter. Zoe reassures her mother that she doesn’t have anything to do with Paula; it’s only business. Everything seems to be okay between them.
INCITING INCIDENT
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DINNER TABLE – DAY
Zoe and Katrina eat a lemon pie after lunch. Their plates and wine glasses are empty. Zoe picks up bits and pieces from her plate and licks her fingers. Katrina watches with a hint of a smile.
KATRINA
Did you like it?
ZOE
You know I love this pie.
Zoe picks up her spoon, takes a spoonful straight from the tray and eats it with pleasure.
ZOE
(full mouth)
The best in the world! Well, grandma’s was better, but you’re getting there.
The giggle.
KATRINA
No one beats that lady’s hands!
Someone knocks on the door. Katrina frowns.
KATRINA
Are you waiting for someone?
ZOE
Nope.
Katrina goes to the door while Zoe pours more wine on her glass. Katrina opens the door.
EXT./INT. KATRINE’S HOUSE – DOOR – DAY
CLAIRE TROUT (45), long hair tied in a ponytail, and MARK FERGUSON (50), fit for his age, wears aviator sunglasses.
CLAIRE
Mrs Muller?
KATRINA
Yes?
Claire shows their credentials from the Australian Federal Police.
CLAIRE
Detective Claire, and this is my colleague, detective Ferguson, AFP. Is Ms Zoe Muller here?
From the Zoe pokes her head from the inside, their eyes meet.
KATRINA
Is there any problem?
MARK
We need to speak with your daughter, Ma’am.
Katrina looks back to Zoe, who shrugs.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – LOUNGE – DAY
Zoe, Katrina, Claire and Mark are seated around the coffee table.
CLAIRE
Miss Muller, sorry to bother you on a Saturday afternoon, but we’re running an investigation, and we need to make a few questions for you.
Clare glances at Katrina and then at Zoe.
CLAIRE
Could we speak in private?
KATRINA
(authoritative)
There’re no secrets between my daughter and me.
ZOE
Mom–
KATRINA
I’ll stay.
She stares at the investigators.
KATRINA
If you don’t mind.
Claire and Mark’s exchange looks, Mark nods. Mark turns to Zoe.
MARK
Ms Muller–
ZOE
You can call me Zoe, please.
Mark clears his throat.
MARK
Do you know Ms Paula Ortega?
Katrina reacts.
ZOE
Yes.
Zoe doesn’t look at her mother.
MARK
May I ask you what kind of relationship you both have?
ZOE
We’re friends. Good friends, why?
MARK
You made a few money transfers to her bank account. What was that for?
Katrina reacts, eyes frown, she stares at Zoe.
ZOE
She lent me some money to start my own business, and–
MARK
Your own business.
Claire puts up a hand on him.
MARK
Sorry. Go on.
ZOE
Yes, it’s been hard to find a job, so she encouraged me to start my own business. I’m an interior designer, and I just started to pay her back–
KATRINA
This is what you did with my money? You said you hadn’t taken her cash! You told me you needed to buy another bloody software!
ZOE
Mom, please!
Katrina stands up and paces around the lounge. Claire glances at her.
MARK
Are you sure this money is for your own business? It seems there’s no profit yet for you to give her money back.
KATRINA
Of course, it’s my bloody money she’s giving to that bitch.
Zoe rolls her eyes.
MARK
If your mother has money, why not ask her to help you with your business instead of Paula?
Zoe scoffs, elbows on her knees; she eyes Mark.
ZOE
Do I need to go through all my family drama to explain why?
Katrina leans against the wall, arms crossed.
KATRINA
(to Zoe)
Tell them.
Claire and Mark’s exchange looks.
ZOE
Mom, stop.
KATRINA
What? Are you scared? Why don’t you tell them what you were doing with her?
Zoe turns to her, still on the sofa.
ZOE
What do you want, mom? Do you want me to say out loud that I slept with her? Yes, I did, and it was great, but it’s finished! I broke up with her, okay? It’s finished!
Katrina mutters something and walks toward the kitchen.
CLAIRE
Zoe, do you know Juan Estigarribia?
ZOE
I have no idea.
CLAIRE
Mr Estigarribia is a drug lord from the Sinaloa Cartel in Mexico. We found out he’s in Sydney, and he has connections with Ms Ortega.
ZOE
What?
MARK
Ms Muller… How long have you and Ms Ortega been in a relationship?
Katrina comes back, narrow eyes.
ZOE
Not too long. As I said, we broke up; I don’t know anything else about her.
Mark catches an envelope out of his bag and places a few intimate photos of Zoe with Paula. Zoe’s eyes widen.
Katrina snaps the pictures and stares at them in shock, jaws dropped.
KATRINA
You told me it was only a kiss!
ZOE
What is this? This is not right! Are you following me? I didn’t do anything!
CLAIRE
Ms Muller, you must understand that Paula has connections with Juan. She is a drug dealer and a powerful one.
Zoe leans back on the couch, hands over her open moth. She mutters
ZOE
This is not happening.
MARK
Are you buying frugs from her?
ZOE
For Christ sake, no! I don’t take drugs, I don’t buy drugs, and I don’t know anything about her! Anything!
Zoe stands up and paces; tears fall from her eyes, her hand massages her forehead.
Katrina teases.
KATRINA
I knew it. I could see the evil in her eyes. That woman never convinced me.
ZOE
Mom, shut up!
Katrina steps back, wide-eyed. A moment of silence. Claire breaks the ice.
CLAIRE
We had to make sure what was your involvement with Ms Ortega, that’s all.
ZOE
So you made it, thank you. Are you happy now?
Zoe points the door to them. Both stand up.
MARK
There’s a big cargo of cocaine arriving in Sydney. Juan is behind it, and we believe Paula is helping him.
He hands her a business card.
MARK
Let us know if you hear anything about it.
They move their heads, and Claire and Mark leave the house, Katrina’s at the door.
CLOSE TO THE DOOR
Claire steps back before leaving and stares at Zoe.
CLAIRE
And Ms Muller, be careful.
They leave. Zoe crumples the card and throws it away. Katrina catches it, hidden from Zoe.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – DAY
END: Katrina rages; they have a big argument. She kicks her daughter out of the house.
—- TURNING POINT —
INT. GEORGIA’S ART STUDIO – DAY
Zoe concentrates on updating her website. She brainstorm ideas, talks to herself, write words on paper. Georgia arrives.
GEORGIA
Having fun?
Zoe sighs, drops her pen, massages her face with hands and stretches.
ZOE
I never thought it would be so difficult doing this. I hate marketing.
GEORGIA
Me too, so sorry hun, I can’t help you with it.
They laugh.
Georgia pokes her head on the screen.
GEORGIA
This is nice. I like the colors. Who did it to you?
ZOE
Excuse me! It was your friend Peter, that hot web designer that you introduced to me.
Georgia melts on her cozy couch with a sigh.
GEORGIA
Peter, Peter, Peter. It gives me goosebumps just to remember his beard on my skin.
ZOE
How can you like man with bear? Have you ever thought how many microorganisms live around his mouth? Yak.
GEORGIA
You’ve been prejudiced. Men with beard is charming.
Zoe tilts her head with narrowed eyes.
ZOE
I think the only man I thought it was charming is that guy from the Bee Gees, what’s his name?
GEORGIA
The Bee Gees? Oh girl, you’ve gone too far!
ZOE
I think is Maurice. Or Andy? Come on, he was hot.
GEORGIA
You don’t have to go that far, Hun. What about Keanu Reeves? Brad Pitt.
ZOE
Well…
The laugh and then silence, until Zoe tries to find the right voice tone for the song.
ZOE
Ah, ah, ah… Ah, ah…
Georgia follows.
GEORGIA
Ah, ah… Aaahhhh, staying alive, staying alive. Ah, ah, ah, ah…
They sing the chorus and try to imitate the Bee Gees’ voice. Both dance while seated each one at their place.
When they finish, Zoe glances at Georgia.
ZOE
Are you scared?
GEORGIA
Scared of what? Regret having taken my dick? No way, baby!
ZOE
It’s a big surgery.
GEORGIA
I know, but I’m ready for it.
ZOE
I never took the risk of having a liposuction for fear of dying on the operating table.
Georgia looks away through the window.
GEORGIA
I don’t fear death, really. I’m more afraid of growing old alone.
Zoe leans back and looks up, twists her lips.
GEORGIA
However… Do you want a more wonderful death than dying in surgery? I’ll be sleeping anyway!
They laugh.
GEORGIA
But tell me about this new client. Who is he? Does he have a beard?
ZOE
Get lost!
They laugh again. They talk but we don’t listen what it about.
INT. JUAN’S OFFICE – RECEPTION – DAY
Zoe waits in a fancy reception room. MARGARETH (’30s), impeccable dressed, brings Zoe a coffee.
ZOE
Thank you.
MARGARETH
You’re welcome. Mr Oviedo won’t take long.
Zoe nods and enjoys the aroma of coffee.
ZOE
Thank you.
She eyes Margareth back to her desk and sips the coffee. After a few minutes, Juan approaches.
JUAN
Did you like the coffee?
Zoe’s caught by surprise, didn’t see him coming. She clears her throat.
ZOE
Yes, thank you. It’s really good.
JUAN (55) wears bright clothes and a golden necklace with a crucifix on it, which enhance his tanned olive skin. His long black hair’s tied up in a ponytail, and he has a charming, strong Spanish accent.
JUAN
No one beats a Colombian coffee. Not even the Brazilians.
Zoe smiles. Juan extends his hand.
JUAN
Matias. Matias Gonzales.
(in Spanish)
Muy encantado.
Charmed, Zoe stands up and greets him.
ZOE
Nice to meet you, Mr Gonzales.
JUAN
Matias, please.
He holds her hand and stops, eyes squinted.
JUAN
Or should I say… Mat. In Australia, you like shortening names, right? You can call me Matt, then.
Juan kisses her hand softly. Zoe blushes. He mentions her to his office and walks in after her.
INT. JUAN’S OFFICE – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Juan shows his office around, which has a nice view of Darling Harbour. Zoe’s astonished by the view. He stares at her.
JUAN
Beautiful, isn’t it?
ZOE
I’m speechless. It’s the first time I’ve seen the Harbour from this point of view. You’re blessed.
JUAN
Thank you.
He motions her to sit at the meeting table. He sits at her side, both facing the beautiful view.
JUAN
My assistant found you on the internet, and I liked you, you know why?
Zoe waits with a shy smile.
JUAN
Because of the way you sell yourself, I could have hired one of those fancy architects who decorate every office in the area, but you know why I didn’t? Because all offices look the same.
Juan lets out a charming giggle.
JUAN
I like to be different. I am a migrant, am I? Why do I need to be like an Aussie when I’m not, right? And your website is unique. You are unique.
Zoe blushes.
JUAN
More coffee? Or do you prefer a bubble?
ZOE
Another coffee is fine, thanks.
Juan walks to his phone desk and orders another coffee. He comes back.
JUAN
So, Zoe. Tell me about you. How long you’ve been in this business?
ZOE
Er, I’ve been doing some projects for about four to five years. I worked for a big architecture company, but it didn’t work well… It was only recently that I decided to run my own business, you know.
JUAN
Lucky me that I found you.
Juan is too charming.
JUAN
I’ve been here in Australia for years.
He looks up, squints.
JUAN
Around ten years. It’s hard to be a migrant in this country, you know, but I managed well. I started from scratch, working as a cleaner, looking after boats here and there, until I got an opportunity, did good networking, and now I am buying and selling luxury boats worldwide.
ZOE
Luxury boats?
JUAN
Yes.
He gets up and walks toward the glassy wall facing the harbour.
JUAN
I still have a dream to sail from here to Colombia…
ZOE
It’s a big trip, I suppose. And it needs courage.
Juan squints.
JUAN
Courage?
ZOE
Well, I fear the sea. My worst nightmares are with big waves and tsunamis.
JUAN
So you’re afraid of drowning.
ZOE
I guess so.
JUAN
Sharks?
They laugh.
JUAN
Now I need to think about what I fear the most.
Margaret enters and serves the coffee. They thank her, and Juan stares at Zoe, sipping her coffee.
JUAN
Do you fancy crabs?
Zoe stops drinking and squints.
EXT. ROOFTOP – DAY
Juan takes Zoe to his preferred spot on the roof. There’s a lovely swimming pool and a fancy small restaurant. A FEMALE WAITER places Zoes’ plate in front of her: a quinoa salad with green leaves, tomatoes, boconccini cheese, and pieces of jackfruit.
Juan’s plate is a succulent rare stake, with a small portion of cooked potatoes and green salad. He eyes her plate while the waiter serves them white wine.
JUAN
Hope you don’t mind the cheese.
ZOE
I’m okay with that. It’s easy to put it aside.
(eyes his plate)
Hope you don’t mind not having your crab.
He smiles.
JUAN
Let’s say, out of respect for you, I preferred to spare you from seeing the entire body of a dead animal on my plate.
She giggles nervously, he’s too charming. Juan rises his glass, she follows.
JUAN
Salud.
ZOE
Prost.
JUAN
German?
She sips her wine.
ZOE
Mhmm. My parents, but I don’t know much apart from prost, hallo and den Mund halten.
JUAN
I don’t know what it means but it sounds beautiful.
ZOE
Being asked to shut up all the times is not a beautiful thing, I can tell.
JUAN
Where you a naughty girl?
She lowers her gaze and voice tone, focuses on her food.
ZOE
I was just a little girl.
Juan squints.
JUAN
I was a trouble maker when I was young, muy mal educado. There was a chicken coop behind my house, and I always left the gate open for them to escape. My father would get mad, beat me with his black leather belt… And even knowing I was going to be beaten, I released the chickens. I don’t know why I didn’t become a vegetarian.
He looks at the view with a lost gaze.
ZOE
What happened to your dad?
JUAN
I killed him.
She reacts, he’s serious. But only for a few seconds.
JUAN
I’m joking. He died of a heart attack four years ago… Maybe because I was too naughty.
Zoe smiles. He grabs his golden neckless and kisses the crucifix, makes a short cross signal.
JUAN
And I miss him dearly.
(pause)
What about yours?
She sighs.
ZOE
I still live with mom, yes, I know, don’t look at me like this–
JUAN
I’m not doing anything.
ZOE
But it’s a bit of my fault.
JUAN
There’s nothing wrong about still living with your mother. In fact, this is a gift for a few.
She smirks.
ZOE
Not with mom. But you’re right, I was naughty, never saved money, had lots of debts so I got stuck with her. Anyway, things are changing and soon, I’ll have my own place.
JUAN
I bet you will. But first, you’ll create a wonderful environment for my offices and home.
They toast.
JUAN
You also work with landscape, don’t you?
They get into a conversation and their voices fade. From the
SWIMING POOL BAR
VINCENT (30), a well-groomed man wearing black jeans and t-shirt, watches them attentively. He talks to someone over the phone. He gulps his shot drink and leaves.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY (WORKING ON)
Zoe goes home to pick up more clothes, and Katrina convinces her to stay. She says that it’s okay if Zoe loves a woman and won’t interfere in their relationship.
PLACEHOLDER: Katrina talks to the police investigators saying that Zoe’s still seeing Paula. They can set up something to put Paula in jail (and leave her daughter alone).
INT. PAULA’S HOUSE – DAY
Juan breaks in into Paula’s home. We know about their past; he wants revenge after leaving the jail, and Paula owns him money.
PLACEHOLDER: Zoe leaves Paula’s home after a loving night; Juan threatens Paula of using Zoe as bait.
—ACT 2—
-
Andrea Cabañas, ACT 1 – Turning Point
What I learned doing this assignment is that every day I’m getting more confident with my story. I really enjoy taking the examples given as a guide, which help a lot to understand the steps needed to follow.
1. Outline your Act 1 Turning Point.
INT. GEORGIA’S ART STUDIO – DAY
BEGINNING: Zoe focuses on her website; Georgia works on her new artwork.
MIDDLE: they talk about Georgia’s steps toward her surgery. Zoe questions if Georgia’s not afraid of dying during surgery; Georgia says she’s scared of being alone—she misses her mother apart from all struggles.
END: Zoes reads a message from a potential client and speaks over the phone to him. She misses a call from Paula but reluctantly doesn’t call her back. She cries silently.
Scene:
Zoe concentrates on updating her website. She brainstorms ideas, talks to herself, write words on paper. Georgia arrives.
GEORGIA
Having fun?
Zoe sighs, drops her pen, massages her face with her hands and stretches.
ZOE
I never thought it would be so tricky doing this. I hate marketing.
GEORGIA
Me too, so sorry hun, I can’t help you with it.
They laugh.
Georgia pokes her head on the screen.
GEORGIA
This is nice. I like the colours. Who did it to you?
ZOE
Excuse me! It was your friend Peter, that hot web designer that you introduced to me.
Georgia melts on her cozy couch with a sigh.
GEORGIA
Peter, Peter, Peter. It gives me goosebumps to remember his beard on my skin.
ZOE
How can you like a man with a beard? Have you ever thought about how many microorganisms live around his mouth? Yak.
GEORGIA
You’ve been prejudiced. Men with a beard are charming.
Zoe tilts her head with narrowed eyes.
ZOE
The only man I thought was charming was that guy from the Bee Gees; what’s his name?
GEORGIA
The Bee Gees? Oh, girl, you’ve gone too far!
ZOE
I think it’s Maurice. Or Andy? Come on. He was hot.
GEORGIA
You don’t have to go that far, Hun. What about Keanu Reeves? Brad Pitt.
ZOE
Well…
They laugh and then silent until Zoe tries to find the right voice tone for the song.
ZOE
Ah, ah, ah… Ah, ah…
Georgia follows.
GEORGIA
Ah, ah… Aaahhhh, staying alive, staying alive. Ah, ah, ah, ah…
They sing the chorus and try to imitate the Bee Gees’ voice. Both dances while seated each one at their place.
When they finish, Zoe glances at Georgia.
ZOE
Are you scared?
GEORGIA
Scared of what? Regret having taken my dick? No way, baby!
ZOE
It’s major surgery.
GEORGIA
I know, but I’m ready for it.
ZOE
I never took the risk of having liposuction for fear of dying on the operating table.
Georgia looks away through the window.
GEORGIA
I don’t fear death, really. I’m more afraid of growing old alone.
Zoe leans back and looks up, twists her lips.
GEORGIA
However… Do you want a more wonderful death than dying in surgery? I’ll be sleeping anyway!
They laugh.
GEORGIA
But tell me about this new client. Who is he? Does he have a beard?
ZOE
Get lost!
They laugh again. They talk, but we don’t listen to what it is about.
TURNING POINT
EXT./INT. JUAN’S OFFICE – DAY
Zoe meets with the Mexican drug dealer Juan, who introduces himself to her as Matias, a new client.
BEGINNING: Zoe waits for her new client in the fancy reception of his office.
MIDDLE: Zoe meets Juan, who introduces himself as Matias. He shows her what he wants to change in his office and mentions his house.
END: Juan takes Zoe to a mansion in a fancy suburb. Zoe starts working on this project. Paula’s man warns her that Juan has reached Zoe.
INT. JUAN’S OFFICE – RECEPTION – DAY
Zoe waits in a fancy reception room. MARGARETH (’30s), impeccable dressed, brings Zoe a coffee.
ZOE
Thank you.
MARGARETH
You’re welcome. Mr Oviedo won’t take long.
Zoe nods and enjoys the aroma of coffee.
ZOE
Thank you.
She eyes Margareth back to her desk and sips the coffee. After a few minutes, Juan approaches.
JUAN
Did you like the coffee?
Zoe’s caught by surprise didn’t see him coming. She clears her throat.
ZOE
Yes, thank you. It’s really good.
JUAN (55) wears bright clothes which enhance his tanned olive skin. His long black hair’s tied up in a ponytail, and he has a charming, strong accent. He extends his hand.
JUAN
Matias. Matias Gonzales.
(in Spanish)
Encantado.
Charmed, Zoe stands up and greets him.
ZOE
Nice to meet you, Mr Gonzales.
JUAN
Matias, please.
He holds her hand and stops, eyes squinted.
JUAN
Or should I say… Mat. In Australia, you like shortening names, right? You can call me Matt, then.
Juan kisses her hand softly. Zoe blushes. He mentions her to his office and walks in after her.
INT. JUAN’S OFFICE – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Juan shows his office around, which has a nice view of Darling Harbour. Zoe’s astonished by the view. He stares at her.
JUAN
Beautiful, isn’t it?
ZOE
I’m speechless. It’s the first time I’ve seen the Harbour from this point of view. You’re blessed.
JUAN
Thank you.
He motions her to sit at the meeting table. He sits at her side, both facing the beautiful view.
JUAN
My assistant found you on the internet, and I liked you, you know why?
Zoe waits with a shy smile.
JUAN
Because of the way you sell yourself, I could have hired one of those fancy architects who decorate every office in the area, but you know why I didn’t? Because all offices look the same.
Juan lets out a charming giggle.
JUAN
I like to be different. I am a migrant, am I? Why do I need to be like an Aussie when I’m not, right? And your website is unique. You are unique.
Zoe blushes.
JUAN
More coffee? Or do you prefer a bubble?
ZOE
Another coffee is fine, thanks.
Juan walks to his phone desk and orders another coffee. He comes back.
JUAN
So, Zoe. Tell me about you. How long you’ve been in this business?
ZOE
Er, I’ve been doing some projects for about four to five years. I worked for a big architecture company, but it didn’t work well… It was only recently that I decided to run my own business, you know.
JUAN
Lucky me that I found you.
Juan is too charming.
JUAN
I’ve been here in Australia for years.
He looks up, squints.
JUAN
Around ten years. It’s hard to be a migrant in this country, you know, but I managed well. I started from scratch, working as a cleaner, looking after boats here and there, until I got an opportunity, did good networking, and now I am buying and selling luxury boats worldwide.
ZOE
Luxury boats?
JUAN
Yes.
He gets up and walks toward the glassy wall facing the harbour.
JUAN
I still have a dream to sail from here to Colombia…
ZOE
It’s a big trip, I suppose. And it needs courage.
Juan squints.
JUAN
Courage?
ZOE
Well, I fear the sea. My worst nightmares are with big waves and tsunamis.
JUAN
So you’re afraid of drowning.
ZOE
I guess so.
JUAN
Or sharks.
They laugh.
JUAN
Now I need to think about what I fear the most.
Margaret enters and serves the coffee. They thank her, and Juan stares at Zoe, sipping her coffee.
JUAN
Are you afraid of heights?
Zoe stops drinking and squint.
EXT. ROOFTOP – DAY
Juan takes Zoe to his preferred spot on the roof. There’s a lovely swimming pool and a fancy small restaurant. A WAITER offers them lunch.
—TBC—
-
Andrea Cabañas, Inciting Incident
What I learned from this: it was hard to keep pace after a hard long day at work but despite it, applying the techniques taught with a fresher mind was great to keep moving my story forward.
1. OUTLINE KEY SCENE 2 & 3
INCITING INCIDENT
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
BEGINNING: Katrina prepares a nice lunch for Zoe; everything seems okay. Both seem happy; no argument so far. Katrina wants to know what happened with James; Zoe reassures her that she broke up with Paula.
MIDDLE: Two police detectives appear after lunch. Zoe and Katrina are in shock with the news. Zoe still denies her involvement with Paula, but the detectives show pictures of them in intimate moments for Katrina’s disguise.
END: Katrina rages; they have a big argument. The police detectives leave the house. Katrina keeps their card/contact. She kicks her daughter out of the house.
2. Inciting Incident scene/Reaction to the Inciting Incident (Zoe’s emotional reaction).
INCITING INCIDENT
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DINNER TABLE – DAY
Zoe and Katrina eat a lemon pie after lunch. Their plates and wine glasses are empty. Zoe picks up bits and pieces from her plate and licks her fingers. Katrina watches with a hint of a smile.
KATRINA
Did you like it?
ZOE
You know I love this pie.
Zoe picks up her spoon, takes a spoonful straight from the tray and eats it with pleasure.
ZOE
(full mouth)
The best in the world! Well, grandma’s was better, but you’re getting there.
The giggle.
KATRINA
No one beats that lady’s hands!
Someone knocks on the door. Katrina frowns.
KATRINA
Are you waiting for someone?
ZOE
Nope.
Katrina goes to the door while Zoe pours more wine on her glass. Katrina opens the door.
EXT./INT. KATRINE’S HOUSE – DOOR – DAY
CLAIRE TROUT (45), long hair tied in a ponytail, and MARK FERGUSON (50), fit for his age, wears aviator sunglasses.
CLAIRE
Mrs Muller?
KATRINA
Yes?
Claire shows their credentials from the Australian Federal Police.
CLAIRE
Detective Claire, and this is my colleague, detective Ferguson, AFP. Is Ms Zoe Muller here?
From the Zoe pokes her head from the inside, their eyes meet.
KATRINA
Is there any problem?
MARK
We need to speak with your daughter, Ma’am.
Katrina looks back to Zoe, who shrugs.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – LOUNGE – DAY
Zoe, Katrina, Claire and Mark are seated around the coffee table.
CLAIRE
Miss Muller, sorry to bother you on a Saturday afternoon, but we’re running an investigation, and we need to make a few questions for you.
Clare glances at Katrina and then at Zoe.
CLAIRE
Could we speak in private?
KATRINA
(authoritative)
There’re no secrets between my daughter and me.
ZOE
Mom–
KATRINA
I’ll stay.
She stares at the investigators.
KATRINA
If you don’t mind.
Claire and Mark’s exchange looks, Mark nods. Mark turns to Zoe.
MARK
Ms Muller–
ZOE
You can call me Zoe, please.
Mark clears his throat.
MARK
Do you know Ms Paula Ortega?
Katrina reacts.
ZOE
Yes.
Zoe doesn’t look at her mother.
MARK
May I ask you what kind of relationship you both have?
ZOE
We’re friends. Good friends, why?
MARK
You made a few money transfers to her bank account. What was that for?
Katrina reacts, eyes frown, she stares at Zoe.
ZOE
She lent me some money to start my own business, and–
MARK
Your own business.
Claire puts up a hand on him.
MARK
Sorry. Go on.
ZOE
It’s been hard to find a job, you know, so she encouraged me to start my own business. I’m an interior designer, and I just started to pay her back–
KATRINA
This is what you did with my money? You said you hadn’t taken her cash! You told me you needed to buy another bloody software!
ZOE
Mom, please!
Katrina stands up and paces around the lounge. Claire glances at her.
MARK
Are you sure this money is for your own business? It seems there’s no profit yet for you to give her money back.
KATRINA
Of course, it’s my bloody money she’s giving to that bitch.
Zoe rolls her eyes.
MARK
If your mother has money, why not ask her to help you with your business instead of Paula?
Zoe scoffs, elbows on her knees; she eyes Mark.
ZOE
Do I need to go through all my family drama to explain why?
Katrina leans against the wall, arms crossed.
KATRINA
(to Zoe)
Tell them.
Claire and Mark’s exchange looks.
ZOE
Mom, stop.
KATRINA
What? Are you scared? Why don’t you tell them what you were doing with her?
Zoe turns to her, still on the sofa.
ZOE
What do you want, mom? Do you want me to say out loud that I slept with her? Yes, I did, and it was great, but it’s finished! I broke up with her, okay? It’s finished!
Katrina mutters something and walks toward the kitchen.
CLAIRE
Zoe, do you know Juan Estigarribia?
ZOE
I have no idea.
CLAIRE
Mr Estigarribia is a drug lord from the Sinaloa Cartel in Mexico. We found out he’s in Sydney, and he has connections with Ms Ortega.
ZOE
What?
MARK
Ms Muller… How long have you and Ms Ortega been in a relationship?
Katrina comes back, narrow eyes.
ZOE
Not too long. As I said, we broke up; I don’t know anything else about her.
Mark catches an envelope out of his bag and places a few intimate photos of Zoe with Paula. Zoe’s eyes widen.
Katrina snaps the pictures and stares at them in shock, jaws dropped.
KATRINA
You told me it was only a kiss!
ZOE
What is this? This is not right! Are you following me? I didn’t do anything!
CLAIRE
Ms Muller, you must understand that Paula has connections with Juan. She is a drug dealer and a powerful one.
Zoe leans back on the couch, hands over her open moth. She mutters
ZOE
This is not happening.
MARK
Are you buying frugs from her?
ZOE
For Christ sake, no! I don’t take drugs, I don’t buy drugs, and I don’t know anything about her! Anything!
Zoe stands up and paces; tears fall from her eyes, her hand massages her forehead.
Katrina teases.
KATRINA
I knew it. I could see the evil in her eyes. That woman never convinced me.
ZOE
Mom, shut up!
Katrina steps back, wide-eyed. A moment of silence. Claire breaks the ice.
CLAIRE
We had to make sure what was your involvement with Ms Ortega, that’s all.
ZOE
So you made it, thank you. Are you happy now?
Zoe points the door to them. Both stand up.
MARK
There’s a big cargo of cocaine arriving in Sydney. Juan is behind it, and we believe Paula is helping him.
He hands her a business card.
MARK
Let us know if you hear anything about it.
They move their heads, and Claire and Mark leave the house, Katrina’s at the door.
CLOSE TO THE DOOR
Claire steps back before leaving and stares at Zoe.
CLAIRE
And Ms Muller, be careful.
They leave. Zoe crumples the card and throws it away. Katrina catches hidden from Zoe.
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Andrea Cabañas, Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned from this assignment was to ‘educate’ myself to stop falling into the trap of thinking and rethinking the same scene. I stopped a few times and caught myself editing again, but then I took a deep breath and started again, having in mind the “20%” for the first draft. It’s not an easy task, but those exercises are helping me a lot to get there.
1. OPENING SCENE – OUTLINE
INT. BEDROOM – DAY – DREAM
Zoe dreams of having sex with a woman; her father watches them holding a bible in his hands. She wakes up with an orgasm.
BEGINNING: Zoe’s in a cozy beach house bedroom making love with a woman, but we don’t see her face/who she is.
MIDDLE: There’s a man hidden behind the light curtains. He stares at Zoe: it’s her father. He holds a bible, watches them with a judgmental look, mumbles words. she tries to say something, but her voice doesn’t come out. She’s succumbed to the pleasure she’s receiving.
END: Zoe explodes in an orgasm that makes her wake up confused. She looks around, and James deeps sleep beside her. She checks the phone, a few missing calls from Paula. She gets up silently.
SECOND LEAD CHARACTER INTRODUCTION – OUTLINE
EXT./INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
James drops Zoe and says goodbye. A new job proposal is cancelled. Katrina reacts, tells Zoe this happens because she’s not good enough.
BEGINNING: James drops Zoe off. For their farewell, Zoe realises she won’t see him for a long time (she knows she scared him, saying she loves him). Katrina watches from inside.
MIDDLE: Katrina sees Zoe crying and tries a conversation, but Zoe doesn’t say much. Katrina says that Paula went to her house after Zoe; she demands her daughter stop sinning and reminds her about her gay uncle. Zoe tells her they broke up, and Katrina makes her swear on the bible. Zoe tells her to stop doing this.
END: In her bedroom, Zoe checks emails and sees a negative response from a job she had applied for. Katrina opens an enclosed envelope in the kitchen that contains a few pictures. She hired a detective, and her suspicions were confirmed: Zoe’s still with Paula.
2. Write your Opening scene that introduces a lead character; either your Protagonist or Antagonist.
PROTAGONIST
INT. BEDROOM – DAY – DREAM
Candlelights are scattered on the place; light white curtains blow with the wind—the sound of WAVES crash on the nearby beach.
Zoe sits comfortably on a cozy sofa in the middle of the room. She’s accompanied by a WOMAN whose face doesn’t show.
The woman explores Zoe’s body with her hands; she kisses Zoe’s skin. Their semi-naked bodies touch gently.
FRANZ (70), wrinkled face in a dark suit, stares at them with a judgmental look behind the curtain. He holds a small BIBLE in his hands and mumbles inaudible words.
Zoe and Franz’s eyes met. She tries to say something, but her voice doesn’t come out. She’s succumbed to the pleasure she has.
The woman goes down on her. With eyes semi-closed, Zoe surrenders to the pleasure; she squirms on the sofa while the man spells words to the air. Zoe grits her teeth, her breath speeds and her eyelids tremble until-
(TO CONTINUE IN ANOTHER SCENE)
3. Write the scene that introduces the other lead character.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Character: James Kaye
INT/EXT. JAMES CAR – DAY
James drives in silence down the mountain road; his tanned skin seems to bring out his green eyes. They listen to funky, jazzy music.
Zoe stares at him with a smirk.
JAMES
What?
ZOE
So that’s it? You won’t say a word until all the way home.
JAMES
(scoffs softly)
I’m just listening to the music.
ZOE
Okay then…
Zoe looks out over the landscape, her gaze lost among the green mountains in the distance. With her elbow resting on the car door, she brings her hand to her lips and softly bites the tip of her thumb.
James glances at her and tries to reach her hand softly, with eyes still on the road.
JAMES
Come on, don’t do this.
She slips out of his hand and scoffs.
ZOE
What? What am I doing?
Both smile, Zoe looks away again.
ZOE
You keep your eye on the road.
A moment of silence.
Zoe places her hand on her mouth again and sings softly the song playing on the radio. James taps his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music. He glances at her, then at the road.
JAMES
It’s a lot to take in, sorry.
ZOE
What do you mean?
JAMES
No one has ever said this to me before.
Zoe frowns and stares at him.
ZOE
Really?
James has eyes fixed on the road.
JAMES
Yep.
Zoe twists her lips.
ZOE
Not even your girlfriend?
He frowns, scoffs.
JAMES
Girlfriend? Where did you get this from?
Zoe shrugs, scoff softly and looks away.
ZOE
I don’t know. Don’t listen to me.
A song she likes starts playing; she turns up the volume. She sings, moves with the funky rhythm; she teases him to sing, who smiles and starts singing while driving on the road by the coast.
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Andrea Cabañas, Beat Sheet Draf2 2
What I learned from this lesson is how amazing having the theme working in parallel in all actions make the story flow easily, gives you more ideas about scenes, etc. Another craft learned here!
3. Do Pass 1: Interweave theme throughout the beat sheet.
ACT 1
INT. BEACH HOUSE BEDROOM – DAY – DREAM
OPENING: nightmare – Zoe dreams of having sex with a woman; her father watches them holding a bible in his hands. She wakes up with an orgasm.
TE 1: Zoe battles with her feelings toward Paula while James sleeps at her side.
INT./EXT CAR – DAY
James drives and doesn’t say much. For their short conversation, something was said but still not sure what.
EXT./INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
James says goodbye. Zoe’s frustrated; she cries. Katrin sees her crying and tries to engage in a conversation, but Zoe doesn’t say much.
A new job proposal is cancelled. Katrina reacts, tells Zoe this happens because she’s not good enough.
INT. CAFE – DAY
Zoe tells Georgia that she told James she loves him. We learn Zoe’s a bit ashamed of being bisexual.
PLACEHOLDER: Georgia teases Zoe; reasons her mother can’t know about Paula; we know about Georgia’s secret lover and her relationship with her family. Is Georgia about to move with someone? Why she’s keeping the secret?
EXT. CAFE – DAY
Zoe, Georgia and Paula meet. Paula encourages Zoe to start her own business and helps her financially.
Katrina watches her daughter from a distance in her car.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
Katrina rages, knowing her daughter is having sex with another woman. Zoe denies. Katrina shows pictures of Zoe together with Paula—she hired a private detective to follow her and has evidence of it. Zoe keeps denying it.
TE 1: Katrina yells at Zoe between arguments showing her dominant power over the daughter
PLACEHOLDER: they argue badly, and Zoe tells Katrina that she will leave her as soon as she gets a project. Katrina reacts.
INT. PAULA’S OFFICE – DAY
Zoe accepts Paula’s help, and both make plans for Zoe’s website. They talk about their relationship and make love. Zoe gains confidence and celebrates with Georgia in a pub.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Katrina hears when Zoe arrives. They talk, and Katrina pretends to be calmer—she even prepared dinner for her daughter. Zoe reassures her mother that she doesn’t have anything to do with Paula; it’s only business. Everything seems to be okay between them.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: Police investigators go to Katrina’s house and question Zoe about Paula, who has connections with a drug dealer from the Sinaloa Cartel and is in Australia.
Zoe denies her involvement with Paula (Katrina believed in her daughter). Police show pictures of her with Paula to Katrina despise. Katrina rages; it seems she’ll have a heart attack. They argue badly in front of the officers, who leave the house and a business card.
EXT./INT. GEORGIA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Katrina expels Zoe from home—for the second time, she’s been banned from her house. Georgia receives her temporarily as she’s about to move in with a mysterious lover.
PLACEHOLDER: Zoe talks to Georgia, who’s speechless but also excited. She had never met a drug dealer before.
INT. PAULAS OFFICE – DAY
Zoe storms into Paula’s office and demands answers. Paula tells her she’s not part of the Cartel anymore but suspects what Juan wants. Zoe doesn’t want to know anything about Paula, who sends secretly one of her men to protect her lover 24/7.
INT. GEORGIA’S ART STUDIO – DAY
Zoe works on her website and sees a message from a potential client. She has a few missed calls from Paula. She cries silently as she misses her.
EXT./INT. RESTAURANT – DAY
TURNING POINT: Zoe meets with the Mexican drug dealer Juan, who introduces himself to her as Matias, a new client.
TE: Matias (aka Juan) pretends he’s a client looking for a project for his house
PLACEHOLDER: Paula sees Zoe having lunch with Matias/Juan. Paula needs to act and protect Zoe.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
Zoe goes home to pick up more clothes, and Katrina convinces her to stay. She says that it’s okay if Zoe loves a woman and won’t interfere in their relationship.
PLACEHOLDER: Katrina talks to the police investigators saying that Zoe’s still seeing Paula. They can set up something to put Paula in jail (and leave her daughter alone).
INT. PAULA’S HOUSE – DAY
Juan breaks in into Paula’s home. We know about their past; he wants revenge after leaving the jail, and Paula owns him money.
PLACEHOLDER: Zoe leaves Paula’s home after a loving night; Juan threatens Paula of using Zoe as bait.
ACT 2:
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
NEW PLAN – with Matias/Juan’s project, Zoe tells her mother she’ll leave home soon. Katrina starts to blackmail Zoe whenever she can emotionally.
PLACE HOLDER: Juan pressures Paula. Georgia’s trying to make her final gender confirmation surgery, and Zoe wants to help her financially? (To think about it).
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – DAY
Zoe oversees Matias’ house project (the client’s house). He arrives and invites her for dinner. He seduces her, but she leaves.
INT. CAFE – DAY
Zoe tells Georgia she feels great and tells her that Matias is flirting.
PLACE HOLDER: Georgia meets Matias/Juan before (?). She asks about Paula. It makes Zoe get confused about her feelings; being 35 years old, she needs to ‘settle’.
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – NIGHT
PLAN IN ACTION – Zoe feels confident and sleeps with Juan. They had drinks; he snorts cocaine and offers it to Zoe, who tries some. When she drives back home, the police stop her—she loses her drivers license for drug/driving.
PLACEHOLDER: James calls Zoe but doesn’t answer it for the first time and feels great. An incident happens when she’s coming back home. Zoe can’t drive, depends upon public transports or her mother. Katrina takes the opportunity to persuade her daughter to put her ‘freedom project’ aside.
PLACEHOLDER: A mixture of feelings. She discovers her feelings for James are dissipating.
INT. PAULA’S OFFICE – DAY
MIDPOINT TURNING POINT– Juan pressures Paula and threatens to use Zoe as bait. Juan gives another chance to Paula: either pay one million dollars in cash or facilitate an entry for a cocaine shipment at the airport using her connections.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
Matias/Juan visits Zoe after knowing about the incident. Katrina’s enchanted by Juan.
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – NIGTH
Juan puts pressure on Paula; her deadline is running out. He has other plans for Zoe to threaten Paula.
ACT 3:
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
RETHINK EVERYTHING – Katrina changes; she suddenly becomes a loving mother and persuades Zoe to forget about the plan to leave her. Zoe is touched. Matias (aka Juan) puts aside his project.
PLACEHOLDER: Katrina pretends to be okay with Paula and, to Zoe’s surprise, invites her for lunch/dinner on the weekend. Paula’s not convinced, however. Katrina is setting a trap with the police investigators. (To show Katrina’s fear to be alone).
INT. GEORGIA’S ART STUDIO – DAY
A NEW PLAN – Zoe’s convinced that staying with her mom is the best. Georgia tries to convince Zoe to keep ahead with her project. She warns Zoe about her mom; Katrina doesn’t miss a trick.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
TURNING POINT: HUGE FAILURE/MAJOR SHIFT – Zoe and Katrina are kidnapped in their own house; Georgia is there, the guys knock Georgia down, left between life and death. In captivity, Zoe’s shocked, knowing that Matias is Juan.
TE: Zoe stands up to protect Georgia when she’s verbally abused/bullied for being trans.
ACT 4
INT. AIRPORT – DAY
Undercover, Paula releases the cocaine from the airport but traps Juan.
INT. ABANDONED HOUSE – DAY
CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT – Juan tells Zoe that he’ll kill Paula as soon as he receives the cargo he’s waiting for. Katrina argues with Zoe. Zoe almost kills Juan. The police seize the house. Paula vanishes.
TE: Juan hits Katrina and Zoe, bringing up memories of her violent childhood. Zoe rages to protect her mother.
For the first time, mother and daughter embrace.
INT. ZOE’S STUDIO – DAY
RESOLUTION: Katrina becomes the mother Zoe has always missed; Zoe forgives her mother. Katrina and Georgia help Zoe pack her stuff and go to her new apartment.
TE: Zoe receives one million dollars in cash with a note from Paula. She secretly enjoys what she reads.
4. Do Pass 2: Build in the Antagonist Journey.
– Katrina suspects her daughter is having an affair with a woman.
She hires a private detective to follow Zoe.– Even with proves in her hands, Zoe denies it.
– She goes against Zoe’s ideas about being independent; she mocks her.
– When discovering Paula is a drug dealer, Katrina kicks Zoe out of the house.
– Days later, regretted, she convinces Zoe to come back home
– Secretly, she helps the police find Paula through Zoe.
– When Zoe is caught driving high in drugs, Katrina pretends she’s okay with everything, including Zoe’s bisexuality
– Katrina argues with the police. How come she’s giving all information they need, and they still didn’t catch Paula.
– Katrina is kidnapped with Zoe. Regardless of the situation, they argue out of something; she’s always trying to dominate her daughter. Juan hits both badly.
– She gets scared but is surprised to see her daughter standing up for her.
– After being almost killed, she realises how much she loves Zoe. She convinces herself that it’s time to let her daughter go to have the freedom she always pursued.
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Andrea Cabañas, High Speed Beat Sheet
What I learned from this is to remember how simple it is to make a beat sheet. I was even tempted to put in extra scenes (more than I already added), but I held back and worked with what needed to be done at the moment. This creation process has been crucial for my development as a screenwriter.
ACT 1
INT. BEACH HOUSE BEDROOM – DAY – DREAM
OPENING: Zoe dreams of having sex with a woman; her father watches them holding a bible in his hands. She wakes up with an orgasm.
TE 1: Zoe battles with her feelings toward Paula while James sleeps at her side.
EXT./INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
James says goodbye. A new job proposal is cancelled. Katrina reacts, tells Zoe this happens because she’s not good enough.
PLACEHOLDER: Zoe tells Georgia that she told James she loves him. We learn Zoe’s a bit ashamed of being bisexual.
EXT. CAFE – DAY
Zoe, Georgia and Paula meet. Paula encourages Zoe to start her own business and helps her financially.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
Katrina rages, knowing her daughter is having sex with another woman. Zoe denies.
TE 1: Katrina yells at Zoe between arguments showing her dominant power over the daughter
INT. PAULA’S OFFICE – DAY
Zoe accepts Paula’s help, and both make plans for Zoe’s website. Zoe gains confidence and celebrates with Georgia in a pub.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: Police investigators go to Katrina’s house and question Zoe about Paula, who has connections with a drug dealer from the Sinaloa Cartel and is in Australia.
PLACEHOLDER: Zoe talks to Georgia, who’s speechless but also excited. She had never met a drug dealer before.
EXT./INT. RESTAURANT – DAY
TURNING POINT: Zoe meets with the Mexican drug dealer Juan, who introduces himself to her as Matias, a new client.
TE: Matias (aka Juan) pretends he’s a client looking for a project for his house
PLACEHOLDER: Paula sees Zoe having lunch with Matias/Juan. Paula needs to act and protect Zoe.
INT. PAULA’S HOUSE – DAY
Juan talks to Paula; wants revenge after leaving the jail. Paula owns him money.
PLACEHOLDER: Juan gets into Paula’s house unnoticed, and when Zoe leaves after a loving night, he threatens Paula of using Zoe as bait.
ACT 2
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
NEW PLAN – with Matias/Juan’s project, Zoe tells her mother she’ll leave home soon. Katrina starts to blackmail Zoe whenever she can emotionally. Juan pressures Paula.
PLACE HOLDER: Georgia’s trying to make her final gender confirmation surgery, and Zoe wants to help her financially? Act 1?
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – DAY
Zoe goes to oversee Matias’ house. He arrives and invites her for dinner. He seduces her, but she leaves.
INT. CAFE – DAY
Zoe tells Georgia she feels great and tells her that Matias is flirting.
PLACE HOLDER: Georgia meets Matias/Juan before (?). She asks about Paula. It makes Zoe get confused about her feelings; being 35 years old, she needs to ‘settle’.
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – NIGHT
PLAN IN ACTION – Zoe feels confident and sleeps with Juan.
PLACEHOLDER: Days later, Zoe goes on a weekend trip with James, but an accident happens, and they need to turn back. Weakened, Zoe can’t leave the house much. Katrina takes the opportunity to persuade her daughter to put her ‘freedom project’ aside.
PLACEHOLDER: James picks up Zoe, Paula appears suddenly. Zoe’s distress, they argue, and she leaves with James. Juan causes the accident to warn Paula (?). A mixture of feelings. She discovers her feelings for James are dissipating.
INT. PAULA’S OFFICE – DAY
MIDPOINT TURNING POINT– Juan pressures Paula and threatens to use Zoe as bait. Juan gives another chance to Paula: either pay one million dollars in cash or facilitate an entry for a cocaine shipment at the airport using her connections.
ACT 3
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
RETHINK EVERYTHING – Katrina changes; she suddenly becomes a loving mother and persuades Zoe to forget about the plan to leave her. Zoe is touched. Matias (aka Juan) puts aside his project.
PLACEHOLDER: Juan has other plans for Zoe to threaten Paula.
INT. GEORGIA’S ART STUDIO – DAY
A NEW PLAN – Zoe’s convinced that staying with her mom is the best. Georgia tries to convince Zoe to keep ahead with her project.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
TURNING POINT: HUGE FAILURE/MAJOR SHIFT – Zoe and Katrina are kidnapped in their own house; when Georgia is there, the guys knock Georgia down, left between life and death for Zoe’s despair. In captivity, Zoe’s shocked, knowing that Matias is Juan.
TE: Zoe stands up to protect Georgia when she’s verbally abused/bullied for being trans.
ACT 4
INT. ABANDONED HOUSE – DAY
CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT – Juan tells Zoe that Paula will be killed as soon as he receives the cargo he’s waiting for. Paula manages to release the cocaine from the airport but traps Juan. Katrina argues with Zoe. Zoe almost kills Juan. The police seize the house. Paula vanishes.
TE: Juan hits Katrina and Zoe, bringing up memories of her violent childhood. Zoe rages to protect her mother.
INT. ZOE’S STUDIO – DAY
RESOLUTION: Katrina becomes the mother Zoe has always missed; Zoe forgives her mother. Katrina and Georgia help Zoe pack her stuff and go to her new apartment.
TE: Zoe receives one million dollars in cash with a note from Paula. She secretly enjoys what she reads.
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Andrea Cabañas, Transformational Events Lesson 6
I learned from this lesson that I think I overwrote my previous assignment, and when I added my transformational events, most of them were already on my 4 Acts… Still, it’s an excellent way to understand my characters much more and what will make them change ‘for real’.
2. Start with the Character Arc and the list of Old Ways and New Ways.
Character Arc: From submissive and naive, Zoe finds the strength to defeat her prejudiced and dominant mother, becoming a fearless woman after facing a life-threatening event.
Old Ways – Naive, submissive, doesn’t see her true potential as a woman. She can’t save enough money to be financially independent. She’s shamed for admitting she’s bisexual for stupid old prejudices. She doesn’t know what she wants for her life (relationship X career) <div>New Ways – Confident, forgives her mother, learns that there’s nothing wrong with being bisexual, not afraid of taking risks. She believes in herself, in her ability to do things (career). She learns she likes her freedom regardless of being in a relationship.
3. Make a list of 6 – 8 changes or steps that need to happen for that character to go from who they are in the beginning (Old Ways) to who they are in the ending (New Ways)/<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>4. Sequence the steps from easiest to most difficult. This will imply the journey the character takes.
3.1. Forget about James, who doesn’t love her back and stop suffering because of him <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>
</div><div>
3.2 Accept it’s okay being bisexual and admit it to her mother
3.3. Believe in her professional potential and learn how to stand out in the job market
3.4. Understand that bad thing sometimes happen for good
3.5. Stop falling into her mother’s emotional blackmails
3.6. Overcome the trauma of being sexually abused
3.7. Stand up for herself and become independent
3.8. Understand and forgive her mother
5. Brainstorm dramatic events or tests that could cause those changes for the character.
– Katrina yells at Zoe between arguments showing her dominant power over the daughter
– Nightmares of having sex with women while a priest (or grandfather) watches her
– James usual disappearance over the course
– Zoe stands up to protect Georgia when someone verbally abuses her for being a trans
– Paula helps Zoe financially to start her own business
– Zoe finds out Paula is a drug dealer through police investigations
– Matias (aka Pedro) pretends he’s a client looking for a project for his house
– Matias seduces Zoe
– Matias/Pedro hits Katrina and Zoe, bringing up memories of her violent childhood
– Zoe receives one million dollars in cash with a note from Paula
ACT 1:
Opening
Zoe battles with her feelings toward Paula. A new job proposal is cancelled. Paula encourages Zoe to start her own business and helps her financially.
Events
James usual disappearance over the course. Zoe has nightmares of having sex with women while a priest (or grandfather) watches her.
Inciting Incident (I changed a bit as I realized I misunderstood/overwrote previous assignment)
Zoe finds out Paula is a drug dealer through police investigations
Event
Two police investigators go to Zoe’s house to track down a drug dealer from the Sinaloa Cartel who has connections with Paula. Katrina rages and informs the police detectives Zoe’s steps as she believes the daughter’s still seeing Paula.
Turning Point
The Mexican drug dealer introduces himself to Zoe as Matias, a new client. Paula needs to protect Zoe. Pedro wants revenge after leaving the jail, and Paula owns him money.
ACT 2
New plan – with this new house project, Zoe tells her mother she’ll leave home soon. Katrina starts to emotionally blackmail Zoe whenever she can. Pedro pressures Paula.
Plan in action – Zoe feels confident and even ends up sleeping with Pedro. James appears out of nowhere (as always), and she goes on a weekend trip with him. An accident happens on the trip provoked by Pedro. Weakened, Zoe can’t leave the house much. Katrina takes the opportunity to persuade her daughter to put her ‘freedom project’ aside.
Midpoint Turning Point – Pedro pressures Paula and threatens to use Zoe as bait. Pedro gives another chance to Paula: either pay one million dollars in cash or facilitate an entry for a cocaine shipment at the airport using her connections.
ACT 3
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Rethink everything – Katrina changes; she suddenly becomes a loving mother and persuades Zoe to forget about the plan to leave her. Zoe is touched. Matias (aka Pedro) puts aside his project.
A New plan – Zoe’s convinced that staying with her mom is the best. Georgia tries to convince Zoe to keep ahead with her project, but Zoe’s convinced by her mother to stay.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – Zoe and Katrina are kidnapped in their own house; when Georgia is there, the guys knock Georgia down, left between life and death for Zoe’s despair. In captivity, Zoe’s shocked, knowing that Matias is Pedro.
ACT 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Pedro tells Zoe that Paula will be killed as soon as he receives the cargo he’s waiting for. In the meantime, Paula manages to release the cocaine from the airport but sets a trap for Pedro. The federal police surround his house. Pedro is loaded in cocaine; there’s tension in there. Katrina argues with Zoe, Pedro intervenes and hits Katrina. Zoe reacts—bad memories from her violent father. She hits him with a chair, almost killing him. The police seize the house. Paula vanishes.
Resolution – two months later, Katrina becomes the mother that Zoe has always missed. She helps Zoe pack her stuff, and with Georgia’s help, Zoe goes to her new apartment. Later on, Zoe receives a box from a man who looks more like private security: a sealed package containing a million dollars in cash and a letter from Paula, with a piece of information she secretly enjoys.
</div>
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Andrea Cabañas, 4 Act Transformational Structure
With this assignment, I learned more about my protagonist and antagonist’s relationship, which changed a bit the climax of my story, when the two of them are face to face in a dangerous situation and their traumas are put at stake. I had to come back to my previous notes to add things I discovered through this process. Loved it!
1. Concept – an adult woman living with her prejudiced mother has her independence dreams shattered when facing a life-threatening event.
Main Conflict – Zoe wants to have her financial independence, but Katrina holds her back, emotionally blackmailing her.
Old Ways – Naive, submissive, doesn’t see her true potential as a woman. She can’t save enough money to be financially independent. She’s shamed for admitting she’s bisexual for stupid old prejudices.
New Ways – Confident, forgives her mother, learns that there’s nothing wrong with being bisexual, not afraid of taking risks. She believes in herself, in her ability to do things (career).
2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
Opening <div>Zoe battles with her feelings toward Paula. A new job proposal is cancelled. Paula encourages Zoe to start her own business and helps her financially.
Inciting Incident
Two police investigators go to Zoe’s house to track down a drug dealer from the Sinaloa Cartel who has connections with Paula. Katrina rages and informs the police detectives Zoe’s steps as she believes the daughter’s still seeing Paula.
Turning Point
The Mexican drug dealer introduces himself to Zoe as Matias, a new client. Paula needs to protect Zoe. Pedro wants revenge after leaving the jail, and Paula owns him money.
Act 2:
New plan – with this new house project, Zoe tells her mother she’ll leave home soon. Katrina starts to emotionally blackmail Zoe whenever she can. Pedro pressures Paula. </div><b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Plan in action – Zoe feels confident and even ends up sleeping with Pedro. James appears out of nowhere (as always), and she goes on a weekend trip with him. An accident happens on the trip provoked by Pedro. Weakened, Zoe can’t leave the house much. Katrina takes the opportunity to persuade her daughter to put her ‘freedom project’ aside.
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Midpoint Turning Point – Pedro pressures Paula and threatens to use Zoe as bait. Pedro gives another chance to Paula: either pay one million dollars in cash or facilitate an entry for a cocaine shipment at the airport using her connections.
Act 3:
Rethink everything – Katrina changes; she suddenly becomes a loving mother and persuades Zoe to forget about the plan to leave her. Zoe is touched. Matias (aka Pedro) puts aside his project. </div><div>A
New plan – Zoe’s convinced that staying with her mom is the best. Georgia tries to convince Zoe to keep ahead with her project, but Zoe’s convinced by her mother to stay.Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – Zoe and Katrina are kidnapped in their own house; when Georgia is there, the guys knock Georgia down, left between life and death for Zoe’s despair. In captivity, Zoe’s shocked, knowing that Matias is Pedro.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Pedro tells Zoe that Paula will be killed as soon as he receives the cargo he’s waiting for. In the meantime, Paula manages to release the cocaine from the airport but sets a trap for Pedro. The federal police surround his house. Pedro is loaded in cocaine; there’s tension in there. Katrina argues with Zoe, Pedro intervenes and hits Katrina. Zoe reacts—bad memories from her violent father. She hits him with a chair, almost killing him. The police seize the house. Paula vanishes.
Resolution – two months later, Katrina becomes the mother that Zoe has always missed. She helps Zoe pack her stuff, and with Georgia’s help, Zoe goes to her new apartment. Later on, Zoe receives a box from a man who looks more like private security: a sealed package containing a million dollars in cash and a letter from Paula, with a piece of information she secretly enjoys.
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Andrea Freitas’ Character Interviews
What I learned doing this assignment is that I loved doing it and for the first time, I’m 100% in favour of this interview excercise. The questions were so deep, completely different from things like ‘Where did you study’, ‘What’s your political POV’, etc. And of course, I learned so much about my characters; writing about one brought ideas to the other one, and vice-versa. Now I can say that I know them in more depth. Can’t wait to interview my other characters!
QUESTIONS FOR YOUR PROTAGONIST
Tell me about yourself.
Well, my name is Zoe Muller; I’m 35 years old. I was born in a small country town and now I live in Sydney. I have a younger brother, Victor, and my older brother Chris committed suicide when I was about twelve.
I left home when I was seventeen. My parents were from a church that preached that we, women, couldn’t do anything. My dad was a chauvinist and violent; he hit mom and me for no reason, and I couldn’t stand it. I’m sure my brother killed himself because the pastor molested him.
Anyway, long story short, after years with no contact, mom reached me. Franz (I deny calling him dad), almost killed her. I convinced her to leave him and now we live together. She received a good inheritance when my grandfather, her father, passed away, and she’s the one who puts money in the house.
I know, I’m 35 but still can’t afford to live independently, but I’m getting there.
I met Paula; she’s a Spanish and beautiful woman. She’s ten years older than me and looks like Pelenope Cruz—I always liked the actress. We made love once, but I don’t know, something is happening here. I’m so confused because I love a man—well, I thought I loved him—and now, Paula appears. I never thought I would have feelings for another woman. A woman. I think there’s a part of me that says it’s not right, but why, right? My uncle was gay, Georgia is a trans woman… I don’t know what’s going on here.
I’m an interior designer, and Paula’s helping me create my website, my own business. Hope I’m not confusing things here.
Also, I don’t believe in marriage. To me, it’s a failed institution. And love… although I feel something, I’m not sure it exists as my mom never loved me.
Why do you think you were called to this journey? Why you?
I guess it’s because I’m still discovering who I am, who I really love… I’m still finding what exactly I want to do in my life gaining the courage to make it happen without my mom’s shadow.
You are up against Katrina. What is it about them that makes this journey even more difficult for you?
As I said, I love my mom, but she’s a hard person to live with. She doesn’t seem to be happy, never. I tell her things, you know, good things that happened to me, and she always has something negative to say to me about it.
It looks like she doesn’t want me to be happy and independent. It seems like she wants to drag me to her frustrated, sad, and grumpy world; she doesn’t want me to succeed because she still believes that women can’t succeed in life. And now, that she discovered just by chance bout Paula, my life became worse than a nightmare. Being in a relationship with a woman, it’s a death penalty for her!
In order to survive or accomplish this, you are going to have to step way outside of your box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them will be the most difficult?
I need to have another bank account (yep, mom controls even my bank account!) and start saving money in there, pretending my casual jobs aren’t paying enough. Then at the right moment, I’ll move and have my freedom. But honestly, I think the most challenging part would be to leave her. Not sure if she will have the strength to live on her own. I think I feel sorry for her, it’s hard to say it, but this is what I think.
What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let go of?
I still feel weird when a man talks louder to me. For sure, this is something that comes from my dad’s violence. Also, I need to let go of the guilt for having feelings with Paula. It seems there’s a little ghost of prejudice that I’m battling on. Part of me wants to jump into this relationship, but another part is ashamed.
What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back?
I’m still not sure if I’m good enough in my profession as an interior designer. Also, what if I leave mom and the house and I’m not able to pay my expenses on my own?
How would people see me if I kissed Paula in public? Will God forgive me, even if I’m not sure if I believe in God?
I also wish I could have understood what was going on in my brother’s mind, so I could have prevented him to kill himself. When my uncle also took his life, I didn’t see the signals! Again? Am I so naive to not reading well people I love to avoid tragedies like this?
What skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this conflict or antagonist?
I know my mom’s weakness, she hates being embraced. Every time I want something, I hug her, although not all the times I get what I want… her love back.
What are you hiding from the other characters? What don’t you want them to know?
My grandfather abused me. It was only one time, but enough for me to collapse in disguise, to feel I was worth nothing, and no one had respect for me.
What do you think of Katrina?
I feel sorry for her. She’s a frustrated woman who might have wondered about being successful and independent one day but was forced to marry Franz. She also had a strict education, but I think it was worse for a woman to find her voice at that time.
Tell me your side of this whole conflict/story.
Mom thinks I’m a loser, that I don’t have the skill to be successful, and I will live with her forever, but she’s wrong.
What does it do for your life if you succeed here?
I’ll prove to myself that I made it, that I’m finally an independent woman, doing what I want without the need of living under the shade of anyone. And single, even if I love James or Paula, I still don’t believe in marriage.
Ask any other questions about their character profile that will help you.Who’s James?
He’s a guy I met a few years ago when I made the landscape for his parent’s house. I fell in love with him because we had the perfect relationship, no ties, no feelings. Until I realised I was in love with him. Now, we saw each other occasionally, which was when I learnt he was dating someone. He dated other women but not me! As expected, when I said that I loved him (for real), he disappeared. And then, Paula came into my life to shake my feelings.
Do you believe in God?
Yes, I do, even though I’m not sure who or ‘what is god’ if it makes sense. I have my faith because to me, God is something more significant, it’s a spiritual thing, something that it’s around us in nature and inside us, in our hearts.
Do you have a religion?
No. And breaks my heart when I hear people saying they follow a similar sect my mom followed.
QUESTIONS FOR YOUR ANTAGONIST
Tell me about yourself.
I’m Katrina, married to Franz Muller, mother of three kids, Christian, Victor, and Zoe. I have a brother, he’s older than me, but he had terrible influences in life—or had a devil in his body, who knows.
I married at the age of seventeen, and at eighteen years old, I got pregnant with my first son, Chris. Then Zoe came, and after a few miscarriages, our dearest son Victor was born.
Chris was taken away from me too soon, then Zoe decided to rebel against our family values. Franz banned her from the family and I couldn’t do anything to help her until now.
After an episode of domestic violence where I ended up in the hospital, Zoe (I never lost contact with her), convinced me to leave Franz. My father had passed away and left me a good inheritance, so I felt I could deal with life independently. But I regretted it, and now I live with Zoe, such a hard kid to tame. But until the last days of my life I’ll do my best to make her change her views about the world, to make her learn to respect her father again and make her marry a decent man. And may she stop these ridiculous ideas of having sex with women. This is the devil’s thing.
Having to do with this journey, what are your strengths and weaknesses?
I’m good at persuading her emotionally, and I use my strong voice to make her obey me or even shut up when she’s talking nonsense. I remember how she followed her father when he spoke louder to her, so I do the same.
I’m also patient; I think it may be my best virtue. Every time Zoe is vulnerable, it’s the right time for me to change her mind toward something.
My weakness is when Zoe hugs me. I’m not a person who embraces; I never hugged my mom, my husband, or even by any of my children, apart from when they were little ones. I like a hug, and when it happens, I can even be persuaded by her, which she tries sometimes.
Why are you committed to making the Protagonist fail? Or, for a relationship movie, why are you committed to making them change?
Zoe needs to understand that we need to have someone in our lives to be looked for. I don’t know what she’s doing with her life, as she can’t see that she’s no one; she’s not able to be anyone if she doesn’t have a male figure at her side. She’s having this freak relationship with this foreigner; who knows where she comes from and tries to make my daughter sin. God forbids same-sex relationships; this is not correct. Zoe came out of my womb, has the same family blood. If she doesn’t get a respectful husband, she will have to look after me forever.
What do you get out of winning this fight / succeeding in your plan / taking down your competition?
I won’t be alone, and she will look after me until the day I join the Lord’s heaven.
What drives you toward your mission / agenda, even in the face of danger, ruin, or death?
What Zoe is doing is wrong. She is a woman and can’t be successful as such. I couldn’t make it, why will she? She needs to open her heart to God again to understand she needs a male figure. I want to see her happy, and I can see that she’s not the way she is. It’s just a matter of time…
What secrets must you keep to succeed? What other secrets do you keep out of fear / insecurity?
I need to pretend all the time that I’m the victim, so she will feel guilty about the idea of leaving the house. And I’m good at emotional blackmail.
Other secrets to keep out of fear/insecurity? I fear being alone.
Compared to other people like you, what makes you special?
I know I have moments when I explode and argue with everyone, but I like to listen to good music, and I can be funny sometimes. My neighbours like me and invite me very often to travel with them, have dinner, that kind of thing. And I also play the piano, something my daughter never knew about.
What do you think of Zoe?
I love my daughter, and I want her to be happy. I need to make her change her mind because she’s going crazy with this idiotic idea of being independent. She is an adult woman, but she’s not ready for the world. Too naive, I’d say. She needs a father figure again to put her ‘in line’.
Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story.
I believe this will never have an end because it seems we think differently. And having a strong personality—because Zoe can be loud too—she will understand my side of it. And she won’t understand it because she doesn’t want it, that’s all.
4. Add any new info to your Character Profiles and share with us what discovered about the characters.
I discovered the real reason Zoe flees home when a teenager and why she’s still so dependable on her mom.
Through my protagonist interview, I also found something about the antagonist, Zoe’s mother, which made so much more sense than my previous thoughts.
I also decided which year Zoe was born, and through that, I went back to when her grandparents migrated to Australia, which coincides with when women were still dependent on men.
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Andrea Cabañas, Characters’ Profile Part 2
1. With this lesson I learnt more about my antagonist, with whom I didn’t have empathy so far. Now I can even see some scenes between the two and how psychologically she will influence my main character.
2. Fill in Part 2 of the character Profile for your two lead characters.
ZOE
What draws us to this character?
Zoe was raised under a religion where women are submissive and have no voice; she still lives with her mother, who always let her down. When she falls in love with another woman, she feels free but still, but it’s still not easy to fulfil her dreams of being independent; when he discovers her lover is a drug dealer, and she’s caught in a war between cartels, she never wished to be involved.
Traits: emotive, vulnerable, creative, has a good sense of humour <div>
Subtext: she seeks to gain recognition from her mother, to make her believe that she is truly capable of being someone in life. Zoe doesn’t want to end up like her mother, a bitter and unambitious woman. She wants to hear from Katrina that she’s loved.
Flaw: she’s submissive.
Values: Loyalty, honesty, love, and respect (for people and animals of all kinds).
Irony: never used drugs (apart from alcohol) and gets involved with a drug dealer, and in some instances, she may make money out of selling something.
What makes this the right character for this role?
She’s raised under strict religious education and abused by her father and wants to be freed from it. When kidnapped by Pedro and faces a dangerous situation, memories come back from her past, and suddenly, she gets out of her shell and takes brutal action.
KATRINA (antagonist)
What draws us to this character?
Although she’s a cold person and doesn’t show love toward her daughter, Katrina shows feelings that surprise people around her. Although grumpy and always with a bitter face, she transforms when seeing an animal suffering. Although frustrated for not having a career, she surprises Zoe (and herself) by discovering her skills as a writer (or painter).
Traits: suspicious person, a controller, grumpy, creative, loves art. </div><div>
Subtext: hides her happiness for her daughter because she’s jealous of her ‘freedom’
Flaw: doesn’t know to be a happy woman
Values: religion, respect for a male figure, truth
Irony: apart from the violence she suffered from the past, she still thinks about coming back to her ex-husband (or still has contact with him hidden from Zoe).
What makes this the right character for this role?
Katrina hasn’t learnt how to be happy without a male figure at her side. When she sees her daughter willing to be someone and be financially independent, she gets anxious because she doesn’t know how to live by herself—something she will occasionally learn, seeing Zoe becoming successful.
3. Improvements made:
Regarding Zoe (victim) and a supporting character, Georgia Terleckas (!)
Previous one: Zoe had a rigorous education as her parents were devoted to the Christian Assemblies International, where women had to be submissive, have no career, no dreams. Her father was an abuser and used to hit her and her mother for no reason.
She leaves the church; her father kicks her out of the house. She moves to Sydney and lives with an uncle who was banned from the family because he’s gay.
Zoe wants to prove that she’s capable of being someone and having a career, but it doesn’t come easy.
Years later, after the death of her uncle, her prejudiced mother leaves the abusive husband and moves in with Zoe. Still, their relationship becomes a nightmare when she learns Zoe’s in love with another woman, who helps her gain confidence, finds a career and starts her own business. But Zoe dreams are shattered when she discovers her lover is a powerful drug dealer, and now, Zoe’s involved in a war between two drug lords.
NEW NOTES – Because of her strict childhood and women having no voice in this world, it was hard for her to feel comfortable around men (at college? Male dominant area, architecture?) and believe she could be someone in this world as a woman. </div>
– Perhaps that’s why she gets well with gay men, because of their femininity
– SHE NEEDS TO HAVE AN IDOL – Lady Gaga?
– As Lady Gaga, she “Never felt smart enough or good in anything.”
– “Didn’t know what she wanted to do as a career”
– “Never felt good enough in doing anything” but at the end of the movie she accomplishes it, she becomes confident and knows that she can do things being a woman, going against what she was thought (mother still tells her). “Now she knows she WORTHS something.”
NOTE: I forgot to mention that the previous exercise also helped me to build up another character, Zoe’s best friend <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Georgia.<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>
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Andrea Cabañas, Characters Profile Part 1
1. Firstly, I loved reading “don’t let the desire for perfection keep you from moving forward”. This is so true and helps me a lot to do this assignment (and for sure, future ones). Also, I learnt that my antagonist is someone else! It’s amazing how things change when you learn the transformational journey of your character.
2. Role of my protagonist: Victim.
Zoe had a rigorous education as her parents were devoted to the Christian Assemblies International, where women had to be submissive, have no career, no dreams. Her father was an abuser and used to hit her and her mother for no reason.
She leaves the church; her father kicks her out of the house. She moves to Sydney and lives with an uncle who was banned from the family because he’s gay.
Zoe wants to prove that she’s capable of being someone and having a career, but it doesn’t come easy.
Years later, after the death of her uncle, her prejudiced mother leaves the abusive husband and moves in with Zoe. Still, their relationship becomes a nightmare when she learns Zoe’s in love with another woman, who helps her gain confidence, finds a career and starts her own business. But Zoe dreams are shattered when she discovers her lover is a powerful drug dealer, and now, Zoe’s involved in a war between two drug lords.
3. My antagonist: a villain
Katrina Muller – Zoe’s mother
Katrina comes from a family with restricted education, so being a submissive housewife who takes care of the children, obeys her husband, and serves the church is not an issue.
Persuaded by Zoe, she runs away due to domestic violence, but it’s hard for her to accept it, as she still loves her husband. She blames Zoe for making her escape, and whenever she can, she will put Zoe down, making her feel miserable, trying to make Zoe see that she’s a woman and women can’t be successful in life. Whenever Zoe finds the strength to be someone and argues with her, Katrina always uses emotional blackmail to get what she gets and make Zoe feel guiltier.
4. What other characters might be necessary?
Supporting characters:
Georgia Terleckas (30’): Zoe’s best friend, Russian background, a trans woman
Paula Ortega (45): Spanish, Zoe’s lover, drug dealer
Pedro Estigarribia (50): Mexican drug dealer
Minor roles: police investigators, Zoe’s uncle, father, and brother.
Background characters: security guards, art students, customers in restaurants, cafes and in a nightclub.
5. Genre: Drama
6. My lead character profiles:
– Role in the story: Victim/Dreamer. Zoe is a victim who wants to prove to herself (and to her mother) that she can be successful being a woman
– Age range and Description: 35 years old but looks younger, German background. Ordinary body, not slim, not overweight. Funny around friends but a bit timid with men.
– Internal Journey: from being submissive to being a confident woman, able to accept that it’s okay not only to love another woman but also to succeed in life.
– External Journey: from being insecure, without focus and no professional ambition to becoming an independent business owner.
– Motivation: wants to be an independent and successful woman
– Wound: was sexually abused by her father
– Mission/Agenda: to prove to her mother she’s able to be successful as a woman
– Secret: failure to save her uncle from suicide
– What makes them special: she’s emotive, vulnerable – cries even seeing calves being rescued from milk farms. She has a good sense of humour and falls for gay men (she loves Ricky Martin and an Australian drag, Reuben Kaye).
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Andrea Cabañas – Transformaional Journey
2. My hero is Zoe Muller, a 35-year-old Australian woman with a German background, who was raised by a fundamentalist Christian family. When she was 16 years old, she left the church and was banned from her family ever since. She lives in Sydney, where she still tries to find a way to shine professionally.
Zoe’s Internal Journey: from being submissive to being a confident woman, able to accept that it’s okay to love another woman.
Zoe’s External Journey: from being insecure, without focus and no professional ambition to becoming an independent business owner.
3. Old Ways:
– Naive, submissive
– Doesn’t see her true potential as a woman
– Still influenced by her prejudiced mother, even as an adult woman
– Can’t save enough money to be financially independent
New ways:
– Confident
– Forgives her mother
– Falls in love with a woman; learns that there is nothing wrong with being bisexual
– Not afraid of taking risks, particularly when she’s in a dangerous situation
4. What I learnt doing this assignment is that is not that difficult to understand how to build your characters’ arc with the examples given, even though I re-wrote my answers a few times!
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This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by andrea cabanas. Reason: Forgot to tell a bit more about my protagonist
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This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by
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1. Andrea Cabañas
2. I agree to the terms of this release form.
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Hi all,
I’m Andrea Cabañas, I’ve written six short films (not produced, even though one was optioned once), and since 2019 I’ve been writing a few proof of concept/POC scripts.
In 2015, I outlined my first feature script after a screenwriting course taken but didn’t finish writing it. I decided recently to come back to this story, and when I saw this course I thought it would be the ‘extra punch’ needed to make me finish my first feature film.
Something unique/special/strange/unusual… I’m Brazilian-Australian with Paraguayan and Lithuanian blood (and I’m still looking for relatives in Lithuania!).