[Angelina Fluehler]

Hi,

I, Angelina Fluehler, agree to the term of the released form

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[Angelina Fluehler]

HOOK: A luxury holiday resort becomes a prison hotel.

A: Holiday resort

B: Corona test result

C: Virus

D: How is the baby doing if the mother gets infected with the corona virus.

E: Come back home, be safe and safe baby, safe grand mother who is in a hospital

F: Who actually is corona positive? How the couple got infected? What happened to their family members and friends.

[Angelina Fluehler]

A. Actually one of the contained stories is abou COVID and all the f–ck ups connected with its testing. Mostly single location – hotel.

B. A kind of general Logline: Married couple stack in their holiday hotel because wife tests corona positive.

C. There is something unique about it that it never happened before COVID and I hope it will never happen to other people again.

I am usually selective due to lack of time and will publish and make only certain homeworks. Also because I am doing few classes in parallel.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

1. Angelina

2. One feature screenplay.

3. Learn about strategies to write a contained movie as I already have two ideas with setups for this type.

4. Last week my first and only feature script at the moment became a finalist at a screenplay competition in LA.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

1. Angelina Fluehler

2. I agree to the terms of this release form.

3. GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[Angelina Fluehler]

VERSION 2

OUTLINE: Trent & Robert are college mates and lovers. Trent plans to leave Robert for a rich boyfriend. Out of revenge Robert starts to spread rumours and gossip about Trent that he is a gay. Everyone comes to Trent’s birthday party. He doesn’t invite his new rich boyfriend because he still didn’t break up with Robert. As the gay haters (non-gays) college mates get drunk and mad they call Trent to the back room and beat him up. Robert feels revenged.

INT. COLLEGE CAFETERIA – MORNING

During lunch ROBERT sits to COLLEGE MATE 1 (gay hater, non-gays) and COLLEGE MATE 2 (gay hater, non-gays) .

ROBERT

May I join you guys?

COLLEGE MATE 2

You can try (Laughing)

COLLEGE MATE 1

What’s the matter?

ROBERT

I have an invitation for you to deliver.

COLLEGE MATE 1

Which one?

ROBERT

Tomorrow is Trent’s birthday party. He asked me to invite you both.

COLLEGE MATE 1

That is really a surprise!

COLLEGE MATE 2

Why he doesn’t come himself to invite us.

ROBERT

He is on external training today and won’t make it back to the college.

COLLEGE MATE 1

I never thought that we are friend, but why not.

COLLEGE MATE 2

Will be there enough to drink?

ROBERT

Of course! What do you think…. You know Trent he has always pocket money….

COLLEGE MATE 2

Then actually why not! Tell him, we will be there!

INT. TRENT’S HOUSE – EVENING

Next day Trent is organizing nice party: the balloons, the big amount of various drinks, the DJ set, the cake – everything must be in place. By the way, his birthday cake a fresh strawberry Pavlova just was delivered by a delivery man. The details are important for him.

It is time, guests start to arrive, take first apero drink, enjoy. Trent makes the music at the DJ set. First guest are happy enjoying drinks and the music. Robert arrives greets Trent and brings him a present.

TRENT

Thank you, Robert!

But Trent doesn’t open the present, which makes Robert feeling even more OK with his revenge plan. His face expression is becoming acid.

Finally, COLLEGE MATE 1 and 2 arrived. Robert notices them and get to the kitchen to prepare them cocktails with extra alcohol. Robert comes to them with two cocktails in each hand and shows them around.

ROBERT

That is so nice that you finally made. (He is handing over two cocktails).

COLLEGE MATE 1

Thanks man!

COLLEGE MATE 2

… (No thanks, just takes it)

ROBERT

There are enough drinks for the whole night.

COLLEGE MATE 2

Great!

Suddenly Robert pulls out of his pocket two piggy-masks and says:

ROBERT

You should wear those as there is a so called “UNDERCOVER” surprise at the party later on.

They wear the creepy masks laughing without big thinking about. After they finish the cocktails Robert deliberately starts a conversation about Trent.

ROBERT

By the way do you know guys that Trent has a new boyfriend?

COLLEGE MATE 2

What ?

ROBERT

Yes, he does. It is the one with the big Mercedes and the huge house on the top of the hills.

COLLEGE MATE 1

Really?

ROBERT

Really! Trent is a gay!

COLLEGE MATE 2

That is why I always felt so bad about him. Asshole!

Two piggy-masked boys are getting mad and drunk, discussing among each other, we don’t hear, but we see them getting more and more crazy excited.

Robert leaves and observes them from the corner. Suddenly Trent notices two not invited people and asks Robert how is it possible.

TRENT

Robert, do you know how these two pigs made it here? I didn’t invite any pigs.

ROBERT

My dear, I have not a slightest idea.

Trent comes to the two and tells them that they should leave; he invites them to talk into the back room.

TRENT

Hey PIGS! Why are you here? I didn’t invite you.

COLLEGE MATE 2

Of course you did, asshole!

COLLEGE MATE 2

Yes, he is right. You did invite us because you like PIGS!

TRENT

Let’s talk in the back room. (He doesn’t want his party ruined)

The three of them go to the back room. Just the Trent closing the door MATE 2 hits him in the face, so that he is on the floor. He crumbles and stands up getting, ripping of a mask from COLLEGE MATE 2 and spits into his face.

TRENT

Hey, GORILLA, this is YOU!

You will f–k off this house right now!

COLLEGE MATE 2

What did you say F–KER!

TRENT

Did you get me?

Or you are too stupid for this and need a translator (Looking at Mate 1).

COLLEGE MATE 1

I am not a translator!

Mate 2 hits one more time, Mate 1 hits in addition

COLLEGE MATE 1

.And you are f–king gay!

Left-right-left-right, hands, legs everything is involved. Trent is beaten up on the floor. The two are leaving the party.

Robert comes to look from the corridor and make sure Trent is punished. He has a smile of a JOKER, which tell us that he is feeling great to cheer up his low self-esteem and says:

ROBERT

Hasta la Vista BABY!

[Angelina Fluehler]

.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

OUTLINE: Trent & Robert are college mates and lovers. Trent plans to leave Robert for a rich boyfriend. Out of revenge Robert starts to spread rumours and gossip about Trent that he is a gay. Everyone comes to Trent’s birthday party. He doesn’t invite his new rich boyfriend because he still didn’t break up with Robert. As the gay-haters (non-gays) college mates get drunk and mad they call Trent to the back room and beat him up. Robert feels revenged.

INT. COLLEGE CAFETERIA – MORNING

During lunch ROBERT sits to COLLEGE MATE 1 (gay hater, non-gays) and COLLEGE MATE 2 (gay hater, non-gays) .

ROBERT

May I join you guys? I have an invitation for you to deliver. Tomorrow is Trent’s birthday party. He asked me to invite you both as he is today on his external internship training. He will not make it back to college today.

COLLEGE MATE 1

That is really a nice surprise! I never thought that we are friend, but why not.

COLLEGE MATE 2

Will be there enough to drink?

ROBERT

Of course! What do you think…. You know Trent he has always pocket money….

COLLEGE MATE 2

Then actually why not! Tell him, we will be there!

INT. TRENT’S HOUSE – EVENING

Next day Trent is organizing nice party: the balloons, the big amount of various drinks, the DJ set, the cake – everything must be in place. By the way, his birthday cake a fresh strawberry Pavlova just was delivered by a delivery man. The details are important for him.

It is time, guests start to arrive, take first apero drink, enjoy. Trent makes the music at the DJ set. First guest are happy enjoying drinks and the music. Robert arrives greets Trent and brings him a present.

TRENT

Thank you, Robert!

But Trent doesn’t open the present, which makes Robert feeling even more OK with his revenge plan.

Finally, COLLEGE MATE 1 and 2 arrived. Robert notices them and get to the kitchen to prepare them cocktails with extra alcohol. Robert comes to them with two cocktails in each hand and shows them around.

ROBERT

That is so nice that you finally made. There are enough drinks for the whole night. (He is handing over two cocktails).

COLLEGE MATE 1

Thanks man!

COLLEGE MATE 2

… (No thanks, just takes it)

After they finish the cocktails Robert deliberately starts a conversation about Trent.

ROBERT

By the way do you know guys that Trent has a new boyfriend?

COLLEGE MATE 2

What ?

ROBERT

Yes, he does. It is the one with the big Mercedes and the huge house on the top of the hills.

COLLEGE MATE 1

Really?

ROBERT

Really! Trent is a gay!

COLLEGE MATE 2

That is why I always felt so bad about him. Asshole!

Two boys are getting mad and more drunk, discussing among each other, we don’t hear, but see getting them more and more crazy. Robert leaves and observes them from the corner.

Suddenly Trent notices two not invited people and asks Robert how is it possible.

TRENT

Robert, do you know how these two made it here? I didn’t invite them.

ROBERT

My dear, I have not a slightest no idea.

Trent comes to the two and tells them that they should leave; he invites them to talk into the back room.

TRENT

Why are you here? I didn’t invite you.

COLLEGE MATE 2

Of course you did asshole!

COLLEGE MATE 2

Yes, in fact, he is right. You did invite us because you like boys!

TRENT

Let’s talk in the back room. (He doesn’t want his party ruined)

The three of them go to the back room. Just the Trent closing the door MATE 2 hits him in the face, so that he is on the floor. He crumbles and stands up getting really aggressive.

TRENT

Hey you, gorilla! You will f–k off this house right now, did you get me or you are too stupid for this and need a translator (Looking at Mate 1).

COLLEGE MATE 1

I am not a translator and you are f–king gay!

Mate 2 hits one more time, Mate 1 hits in addition. Left-right-left-right, hands, legs everything is involved. Trent is beaten up on the floor. The two are leaving the party. Robert comes to look from the corridor and make sure Trent is punished. He has a smile of a JOKER, which tell us that he is feeling great to cheer up his low self-esteem!

[Angelina Fluehler]

LOGLINE: Chief scientist Frank hands over the evidences of the radiation pollution to his good friend and collegues Charlotte.

ESSENCE: In this scene I create one more witness and introduce one of supporting characters (Charlotte), who is gaining more and more weight towards end of the screenplay.

I learned, namely, I improved the scene and included more Fear and more Suspense.

INT. NUCLEAR STATION’S CAFETERIA – MORNING

Frank is already in the cafeteria waiting for Charlotte. They meet up and have coffee together. He hands her a flash card that has a copy of the report for the nuclear safety committee. Frank stands next to the coffee machine.

FRANK

Hi Charlotte, thanks for coming. How are you?

CHARLOTTE

Hi Frank. I am good, thanks. For the last weeks I was busy with my new apartment.

FRANK

What can I get you?

CHARLOTTE

A cappuccino would be great.

FRANK

And the apartment is almost finished?

(He drops in the coin and presses the cappuccino button).

CHARLOTTE

Yes. When I have a housewarming party, you will be on the guest list (Smiling).

FRANK

I’m looking forward to it.

CHARLOTTE

And how are you? You look stressed out.

FRANK

I am fine, you know. But the last few weeks I have been very busy with the new software for the radiation detectors that will go into operation.

(Coffee is ready)

I wanted to…

I prefer to talk at the table, let’s go over there (showing her a table by the window).

He is taking her away from the coffee machine and other colleagues.

FRANK

(Goes on)

The nuclear operation must be stopped because of the possible pollution of the local area, drinking water, habitants etc.

The prolongation of the plant’s exploitation license is out of question now, you understand?

CHARLOTTE

Are we in danger?

FRANK

It depends. It must be investigated for how long the process has been ongoing and how severe the pollution is.

CHARLOTTE

And? Did you inform the director?

FRANK

Yes, I did.

She is listening with her gaze focused on him.

FRANK

(Goes on)

He wants me to hide this information. So the plant can keep running as it is, and we keep our jobs.

But I can’t do this because it is my job to report this accident!

CHARLOTTE

Oh, I see. That is a serious dilemma. I don’t know how I can help you.

FRANK

I would be very thankful if you take and keep this (handing over her a flash card), just in case.

CHARLOTTE

What is in it?

FRANK

The documents, the report, everything for the nuclear commission.

CHARLOTTE

(Taking it and looking scared)

OK, fine. I will take it, but you need to think about how to resolve the matter with the director.

I am sure, he is a good man and will find a solution that works for everyone.

FRANK

In case something happens to me, you need to pass this report to the commission. Please.

CHARLOTTE

(Looking even more scared)

Frank, relax. I understand you are stressed out and I will keep it. It will be alright.

(Pause)

Now, I really need to go back to the office.

(Looking at her watch and standing up)

FRANK

Thank you, Charlotte.

(Standing up and looking in her eyes).

They both leave the cafeteria.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  Angelina Fluehler.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Hi there

I actually made similar exersice in a frame of the other class. I dont have much time to observe people I know at the moment so I decided to take my three characters instead as an example here.

Terry:

World
View: Curious, looking for deeper understanding (intellectual);

Independent & Proactive; Do it yourself; Has
a heart

Life
Metaphor: There is nothing impossible

Rules
and strategies: Keeping adapting to become a better version of himself;

Justification: Does things for discovery
and for learning

Agent Torn:

World View: Analytical; Do it yourself; Looking to achieve the end result

Life
Metaphor: I’m the best. Winner trait,
but more on the surface

Rules
and strategies: Part of the system; System’s strategy & rules; Doer.

Justifications: Simply wants to achieve the
goals

Gabriel:

World View: Rewarding; Proactive; Supervisor; Helping

Life Metaphor: I want to give you a chance

Rules and strategies: Managing souls &
energies

Justifications: Angels help people. Terry fails this time , he will be in a trouble and it will be on the todo list of Gabriel.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

As I mentioned before I designed my beat sheet so that each scene has a meaning and essential to contribute to the core’s story. I can explain why each particular scene is there!

I have several scenes on travel (boat, train, restaurant, private airplane) for several reasons: 1. entertainment, 2. for opening some sides of my main characters better and 3. of course, for the story’s core as the script contains global “JOURNEY”-theme.

However, I could also reduce the entertainment part and remove some of the scenes.

I revised those scenes today, as a result of the revision I improved the dialogs (there were few stupid repetitions or super simple things). There is no need of those scenes to be long. They should be there, but as short insights, they ALL should follow the same line. I also found an editing mistake that some parts were not structured into a separate scene and was part of the other scene.

As the scenes are about the entertainment I also improved the visual description in each of them as I was pointed out to it already. I introduced a third person to give a deeper meaning to one of them.

Here are few examples; I worked out more scenes of course.

Scene 1 Location:
Logline: they are on the boat and see his friend dying on the his cell phone
Essence They are on the run together

New Logline: They are on the run together in a meaningful way being on a “life” trip together.

INT./EXT. SPEEDBOAT – DAY

Terry and Charlotte stopped middle of the lake to see through the camera what happened. They are horrified.

CHARLOTTE

I am very sorry. I wish it would never have happened.

TERRY

(Turning his head towards hers)

This is one of my worst days.

He starts the engine and they jet towards another town on the other side of the lake.

Scene 2 Location:
Logline: they buy some items to wear as they have nothing with them
Essence They are on the run together

New Logline: —

THIS SCENE was removed as I DON’T HAVE TO SHOW all BORING details of how EXACTLY they manage their trip.

INT. TRAIN STATION SHOP – LATE AFTERNOON

In the train station of the neighboring town Terry and Charlotte buy train tickets and some spare clothes to look like a tourist couple that are travelling together. Charlotte buys jeans, a dress, T-shirts, and underwear.

Scene 3 Location:
Logline: they dining in restaurant wagon, they are on the run
Essence They are on the run together

New Logline: They are on the run together in a meaningful way being on a “life” trip together.

That is why I introduces a third person here, just another traveller to speak about the JOURNEY. I also removed the repetitions.

INT. ORIENT EXPRESS RESTAURANT WAGON – EVENING

Charlotte and Terry are sitting at the window table in an oriental restaurant wagon and having dinner. They are on the run, but in a romantic way. The train passes through national parks and Napa Valley of Western United states.

CHARLOTTE

So, what happens next?

I am sorry that I was not very talkative.

TERRY

I will get you out of the country and make sure you are safe.

CHARLOTTE

Where do we get out of the train?

TERRY

We will get off in Santa Barbara. My father and I have a small airplane there at a private airport. We can take it and fly you out of the country for a little while.

NEW VERSION:

INT. ORIENT EXPRESS RESTAURANT WAGON – EVENING

Charlotte and Terry are sitting at the window table in an oriental restaurant wagon and having dinner, some delicious starters are on the plates.

They are on the run, but in a romantic way. The train passes through national parks and Napa Valley of Western United states.

CHARLOTTE

Where do we get out of the train?

TERRY

We will get off in Santa Barbara. My father and I have a small airplane there at a private airport.

We can take it.

I fly you out of the country for a little while and make sure you are safe…

CHARLOTTE

Thank you for being with me, helping me and doing all that for me.

(On the table she is taking his hand)

You must know that I have never been in a situation like that in my whole life.

A TRAIN PASSENGER, main in late 70s dressed casually.

TRAIN PASSENGER

(Turning to them from a table across the aisle)

You are such a lovely couple. I am sorry for interrupting, but I would like to say something to you both.

CHARLOTTE

No worries, of course, go on…

TRAIN PASSENGER

(Partially while he is speaking we catch some landscapes out of the window)

I am a global trotter. One of the reasons I am on the train is to see the country we are going through. You just seat in a cart like this and look out the window, and watch different changes in vegetation, different trees in different country sides, the way the villages are set up, the way people have they houses set up, finding out whether they are working in a factory or what kind of car they are driving, find out what the country is really about, yes, that is what I want to do. To sleeping or eating, or conversing with somebody, or going out to a program I am happy just to seat right here and watch the world around!

I wish you a beautiful evening, but it is time for me to go to bed.

CHARLOTTE

Sure, thanks for sharing your thoughts with us, have a good night.

He stands up and leaves. They are finishing the starters. A WAITER, late 20s, comes with delicious main dish demonstrating the upper class service.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR

Scene 1 Page1 OPENING

Logline: Crown and Psychiatrist discuss his attitude to women, namely, if a woman can trust him.

Essense: To show us his inner attitude and character, which is important for the ENDING of the movie.

Scene 2 Page 3

Logline: CROWN on the way to the museum.

Esssense: We get his optical description, introduction of the Crown character place #1.

Scene 3 Page 8-9

Logline: Crown making a deal with other businessmen, namely, selling his building.

Essense: Subtext message “he is ready to run as he liquids his assets” and showing his character of “hard core businessman” as he damp the others by not congratuating them as they overpaid.

Scene 4 Page73 with PRIVATE AIRPLANE

Logline: CROWN is a pilot of the airplane

Esssense: Continuing introducing his other sides of the character. He is a superman. He is skillful and can do and master many things. He impresses people with ebverthing he can.

Scene 5 Page73 THE HOUSE

Logline: CROWN shows Vivian his tropical cottage.

Essense: To show Crowns personality even deeper and show us its essense.

I had this type of analysis towards my own script already as I constructed it in a way that every scene makes sense (has essense) that I can explain why it is there. However, if needed I can omit the entertainment scenes and their meaning I can try to stick into the neighbouring scenes to make them more intense.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Thank you, Leah,

In fact that was an excellent timing for the classes I took so far. I am very happy that they introduced classes on demand.

Cheers

[Angelina Fluehler]

Hi Everyone,

My name is Angelina and I am based in Switzerland.

During the last 6 months I have taken few classes with Hal so far, which resulted into my first and ambitious Sci-Fi Action screenplay. Of course it took me 6 years to cook the idea behind. Personally I value very much Hal’s teaching skills, which made it finally possible.

I have submitted my screenplay to few competitions, but honestly, it is an earlier draft still and the quality is about 60%. That is why, as the outcome of this class I would like to elevate the quality of my screenplay. As I received few feedbacks by now I know what I exactly should be focused on. My specific goal is to climb to the Top of The Black List with it.

Cheers

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Hello

This is my 4th class with Hal. At his other 3 classes I was able to learn a lot and considerably elevate my writing skills. As a result of my original idea , which I have been working for the last 5 years, and my elevated writing skills from Hal’s classes, I finished a fiction action feature movie script just a week ago. In this class I would like to revised this manuscript for submitting it to few contests. I would also probably take few on demand classes in parallel such as “Advanced Dialogues” , “Subtext secrets”, “Mastering scenes” or “First 10 pages” .

• This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

My name is Angelina Fluehler

I agree to the terms of this release form.

As a member of this group:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler

1. To find your main hook, tell us what the big picture explanation of your lead character’s journey is.

From being part of the system to becoming a rule breaker; from following the rules of the system to critical thinking; from living in a trend to a revolution.

2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?

Dilemma

Boundaries between Good and Bad are not clearly defined.

Main Conflict

Need to figure out what is good and what is bad and fight the antagonist

What’s at stake?

His ticket back home, who wins the game

Goal/Unique Opposition

How to win in a game and collect maximum points.

ELEVATOR PITCH :

My script has ….

UNIQUE – Unique concept never existed in this interpretation;

GREAT TITLE – no movies exist with this title. Title concludes what is the story about!

WIDE AUDIENCE APPEAL – from young kids till adults, from sci-fi fans till action fans.

A GREAT ROLE FOR A BANKABLE ACTOR – If a bankable actor would read the main character description it is a very probable that he will fall in love with the character. Thus, he will want to play the role.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler

1.

A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?

They both have special powers. They are not ordinary humans.

B. Major hook of your opening scene?

Mystery

C. Any
turning points?

Few turning points through the script according classical 4 act structure.

D. Emotional dilemma?

Correctly distinguish good and bad.

E. Major
twists?

Main hero has few twists in his life.

F. Reversals?

Protagonist – Antagonist, Past – Present

G. Character betrayals? ——

H. Or any big surprises?

Totally big surprising twist at the end of the movie.

2. Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer.

Title, unique new story, main characters

3. Answer the question “What I learned today is…?” Some new stuff about 10 most interesting things about my script.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler

1.How will you present yourself and your project to the producer?

I will do anything to get the movie made. I’ll make changes if needed to meet the budget or adapt the script to attract a PRO-director or a bankable.

2. How will you present yourself and your project to the manager?

Not interested at this stage.

3. Answer the question “What I learned today is…?” Some new stuff

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler

2.

UNIQUE – Unique concept never existed in this interpretation.

GREAT TITLE – Title concludes what is the story about! In addition, no movies exist with this title.

WIDE AUDIENCE APPEAL – from young kids till adults, from sci-fi fans till action fans.

A GREAT ROLE FOR A BANKABLE ACTOR – If a bankable actor would read the main character description it is a very probable that he will fall in love with the character. Thus, he will want to play this role.

3. I learned about 10 components of marketability. Thanks a lot!

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Flueher

1.

Genre: Fiction Action

Concept: As the boundaries between good and bad are not clearly defined. It is a story about that everything comes down to a choice and the choices will be evaluated one day. Two fantastic main heros in action drive the story to an ultimate level.

2. In one or two sentences, tell us what you think is most attractive about your story.

Many people like Sci-Fi and Action. I have roles for two young interesting actors.

3. Tell us which you will target FIRST — managers, producers, or actor’s production company — and why you picked that target.

I would target first producers and second actor’s production companies. Let’s see.

4. Answer the question “What I learned today is…?”

New stuff. Formulation and thinking about the concept, its presentation etc.

[Angelina Fluehler]

1. My name is Angelina Fluehler

2. This is my first script.

3. I’d like to learn the rules of marketing and communication in the industry beyond taking part in screenwriting competitions.

4. I have usually many ideas :-).

[Angelina Fluehler]

I, Angelina Fluehler, I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler

I agree to the terms of this Release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Hi everyone,

I’m glad to join the class.

My name is Angelina Fluehler, I am working on an action movie. My goal is to complete it shortly after the end of this class. I hope to get better understanding of what action genre requires.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Solved Character Problems!

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” I checked all the points (A.-G.) – none of them is the case. Thanks for this check list. It is amazing to have them done.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Solved Structural Problems!

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Checked the 4 Act structure again. It looks pretty good.

Instructions: 1. “how does the incident invite and propel us into the journey?” – Yeah, I have that one. 3. I feel good about my 4 Act structure; 2. and 4. Check!

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Fillled In Missing Scenes!

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Filled in few missing scenes.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Finish Act 4 – Resolution

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Four main components are implemented: the story conflict comes to an end; the characters are now in their “new normal” , the “New Ways” are showing up as part of their regular live; both Genre and Theme are represented in this scene!

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Act 4 Climax

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” All the CLIMAX check marks are succeed.

A. Ultimate expression of the conflict: YES. One lives within the system and the other is out of the system. One serves the system and the other acts against the system. One knows the new ways and way out and the other doesn’t etc.

B. Protagonist and Antagonist come face to face. Yes, action fighting in old abandon villa, imagining this, it will be just fantastic.

C. This scene tests the protagonist to the core. Yes, it does. It completes his transformational journey and give a good base for the resolution.

D. The New Ways must succeed. Yes, this is the case. Even antagonist gets the message about “the new ways” clear served.

There is one more step left in the protagonist’s transformation, which will come in the RESOLUTION.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Act 4 Begins

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” The reaction, which will be expressed in an action (car racing protagonist vs. antagonist). I learned in earlier class that in an ACTION movie, the REACTION can be played out as ACTION. The dilemma of the movie theme and the main character is followed up. Dilemma makes the decision part of the Transformational Journey of the protagonist.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Finish Act 3 – completed Act 3

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Revised the structure. Check!

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Act 3 Turning Point – completed Act 3

“What I learned doing this assignment
is…?” Thanks for the examples with matrix as they are very useful. I
definitely follow the structure

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Act 3 Middle Scenes

KEY SCENE 2: MAKES A NEW PLAN

EXT- DAY- TRAIN STATION

OPENING:

So they decided to travel together as a couple to get away.

PLACEHOLDER: DIALOG waiting for train. Getting in the train.

INT- EVENING- ORIENTAL EXPRESS RESTAURANT WAGON

They get to know each other. They talk a lot to each other.

PLACEHOLDER: DIALOG at the restaurant.

INT- NIGHT- ORIENTAL EXPRESS inside COMPARTMENT

TRIGGERING EVENT 1:

Protagonist tells her many things he knows about earth and universe laws etc. Charlotte is impressed about his knowledge.

PLACEHOLDER: DIALOG inside compartment

INT- MORNING- ORIENTAL EXPRESS RESTAURANT WAGON

INCITING INCIDENT:

Breakfast at the wagon restaurant. Protagonist kisses Charlotte with words that they should look like a couple, however the kiss seems to become real for both. Protagonist falls in love with her. She is in love as well. Protagonist says that he needs to tell her something important about him and he will do it later when they arrive to the destination hotel. They need to get out of the train as they arrived to their destination.

EXT- EVENING- ORIENTAL HOTEL DINNER OUTSIDE

TRIGGERING EVENT 2:

At the dinner in the hotel protagonist is in love he tells who he really is. He tries to give more examples about his knowledge and who he really is. Charlotte does not really believe.

KEY SCENE 3: THINGS GO WELL, UNTIL…

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” I followed the structure. Thanks again for matrix reference.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint

ACT3:

KEY SCENE 1 – RETHINK EVERYTHING – Reaction to Midpoint:

INT. – MORNING – Hotel room of Protagonist

OPENING:

Tory wakes up on the sofa as Charlotte is still sleeping in his bed. Tory takes cup of coffee.

MIDDLE:

As he already reflected and understood that in each situation one should use own brain to distinguish what is “bad” and what is “good” in order to take own and right decision, i.e. be the initiator and not just an doer.

FLASHBACKS: He was a German Nazi officer during WW2 and was given orders to a normal police.

He realizes that to go to police is not a good idea. The young woman needs his help and Tory has decided to help her and save her from the dangerous agent Tiby.

PLACEHOLDER

END:

Charlotte wakes up, so he makes her an aromatic cup of coffee as well. He suggests her to go away from this country. He has money, so the travel costs are not an issue.

PLACEHOLDER: DIALOG

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” I find my script idea continues fit well with the given story of the acts and scenes. I learned in particular that in an ACTION movie, the REACTION can be played out as ACTION.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Revised, still consistent overall, missing volume. I also watch and read a review on one of the actual movie running in the cinemas. I specially paid my attention to the critics, which concerned not optimal build structures, their duration and accents in the movie. During watching the movie I realized that the critic was justified.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Act 2 TP – Midpoint

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Following the concept, cleaning up, I introduced a couple of dialogs, but not all unfortunately due to lacking of time.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Act 2 Middle Scenes

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Mid scenes are in place. Thanks for the examples with Matrix, which give very clear benchmark wherever the correct events and story are in the right place during the movie.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Keeping pace! Continuing learning process of writing the outline interconnected with the theme and the building in antagonist as it was explained (referred to lesson 8).

[Angelina Fluehler]

4. “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” I learned how to complete the Act1 according to the structure. I added the OUTLINE of the missing scene of protagonist‘s flashback (slave holder). I’ll need to come back to my placeholders as it will need more inspiration.

3.

MIDDLE: – SCENE FLASHBACK: Protagonist in the past, when he was a slave holder (America)

OPENING: He went to buy/select new slaves in Africa to take them over to US. The group of slaves he selected was brought to his camp, where they were prepared for the trip to US and waited for the ship.

PLACEHOLDER: Details.

MIDDLE: One of the slaves started a run away and tried to convince others to do so. After doing a certain effort to overcome the guards he runs away. However, next day the slave was found in a village as others sold to protagonist his location.

PLACEHOLDER: Details.

END: In order to give a lesson to other slaves that the running away is not a good idea, protagonist ordered to whip this slave to death and even gave few last whips himself.

PLACEHOLDER: Details.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Turning Point 1 Scenes

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” I learned to full the OUTLINE. I reconfirmed that all my three TPs in the three acts are consistent with the provided guidance. I have no time to fill more today. But I’ll work on it when I have more time as it is very clear to me what to write.

KEY SCENE 4 – TURNING POINT:

(Key Scene 4: Turning Point – Lock in the journey.)

INT. – EVENING – a luxury hotel lobby-bar

BEGINNING:

Protagonist is thinking about what Gabriel told him. He seats, drinks Whisky and flashes back.

MIDDLE:

PLACEHOLDER: Details. Choose one of:

He was a slave owner (tbd America or Old Rome Empire).

END:

He is intrigued to apply his “new ways”, but doesn’t yet know how as his life is good, stable, normal and even boring. There is no war, no place to be a hero to get more points.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Inciting Incident

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” I learned that a scene can be presented in following steps: beginning/middle/end or as opening/triggering event 1/ inciting incident / triggering event 2.

KEY SCENES 2 and 3 – (“1.OPENING” was swapped with “2.INCITING INCIDENT”, which is better to start the movie with!):

(Key Scene 2: Exciting opening scene intros a main character, the conflict and/or world).

(Key Scene 3 The protagonist reacts emotionally to the Inciting Incident).

EXT. – DAY – sunny, on a motorboat on the lake

OPENING: Tory is back home. On a sunny day he is driving a motorboat on a lake with his family: wife and two kids (boy and girl).

PLACEHOLDER: DIALOG with the wife.

… She is asking about his trip.

INT. – MORNING – next morning at their beautiful house

TRIGGERING EVENT 1:

The phone of the wife rings while she is in a bathroom. He sees her lover is calling, he doesn’t react and stays calm and says smiling “again him, such an annoying man”. As he knows that he also has a lover, which just texted him. Tory is annoyed with his “old” ways and life style and his new awareness and “new” ways which are intuitively breaking into his ordinary life style.

PLACEHOLDER: DIALOG with his lover. So, he agrees to see the lover in the evening at the restaurant.

PLACEHOLDER: DIALOG with his wife. That he will be away for the business dinner.

INT. – EVENING – a FANCY restaurant

INCITING INCIDENT: At the restaurant he wants to finish his relationship with his lover and tells her about it. However, suddenly his wife and her lover come in. Both couples accidentally show up in the same restaurant. He notices his wife and her lover.

TRIGGERING EVENT 2:

PLACEHOLDER: DIALOG in 4. Conversation in 4 happens. He says to them “I always knew”. He announces to leave both women and leaves the restaurant. His wife is “now I need to make sure I have a good layer”.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Act 1: Opening Scenes

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

I learned all the details, very useful instructions how to start.

Similar to matrix example – I actually like to swap the 2. Inciting accident and 1. Opening scene in my ACT 1 as it is more exiting to start a movie with the inciting incident, which is followed relatively calm and relaxing opening scene.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Beat Sheet Draft 2

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

I double check the theme implementation that it goes through the beat sheet as well as I paid additional attention the antagonist, namely, to his journey and scenes where he is introduced and where/when/ & how he is showing up.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – High Speed BEAT SHEET

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

I repeated and learned the rules of screenplay “syntax”: I implemented the slug lines and place holders in my Beat Sheet however I must it slightly disturbs from reading the 4 act structure.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Old Ways:

· He lived with the system

· He followed the rules of the system

· He was part of the system

· He lived in a trend

· He was a good executor

New Ways:

· He thinks in terms of revolution

· Critical thinking

· Becoming creative and rule breaker.

3. Make a list of 6 – 8 changes or steps that need to happen for that character to go from who they are in the beginning (Old Ways) to who they are in the ending (New Ways).

4. Sequence the steps from easiest to most difficult. This will imply the journey the character takes.

1.) meeting with Gabriel

2.) leaving his old life style & reflection about his past

3.) being an accidental witness

4.) helping another victim

5.) falling in love & telling the truth about him

6.) facing antagonist

5. —-

6. —

7. “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Very good demonstration is given in the examples from Matrix and The silence of the lambs. I reconfirm my 4 act structure, nice exercise. Thanks!

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – 4 Act Transformational Structure

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” I was surprised how easy it was for me to put my
story on the provided 4 act structure. Thank you very much for this guidance!

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler Character Interviews

Nice questions, which help a lot in understanding own characters. I believe that I already gave pretty detailed description in previous lessons, so I will skip this one here.

What I learned doing this assignment is…?” I actually learn more how to present and make character profile deeper and exiting.

I think it will be definitely reviewed again at the “rewriting” part of the class.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler – Character Profile Part 2

What draws us to this character?

A mystery draws us the character at the beginning and wondering about the future he will create.

Traits:

Risk taker (ready for a change)

Explorer (curious)

Smart, intelligent and motivated

Subtext:

He is hiding that he is not an ordinary human and his real goals/mission.

Flaw:

At the beginning he doesn’t understand how to win & complete the game.

Values:

His always had good values, but he was not aware what are the criteria to take a right side.

Irony:

He wanted the best, but the result wasn’t what he wanted.

What makes this the right character for this role?

He is not an ordinary human; he can remember & see things, learn & evolve quicker. He has more knowledge.

1. Make any improvements you think of to your Part 1 profile and bring the two parts together.

I did the adjustment in a way that I have only one leading character now and the three other characters will be supporting characters.

4. “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” I opened and understood deeper the characters myself. I also learned the technique and aspects, which are absolutely necessary in order to create deep characters. Also the complete structure of my characters in more clear to me now: supporting, minor and background.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler- Character Profiles Part 1

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” I understand better my characters and what they need to do to complete each other. I also understand better my story line and how to complete the full script and separate scenes.

Protagonist, Explorer-Fighter, TORY, man in his 30s.:

He is not an ordinary human; his is from another planet in a different galaxy. He is a gamer on his planet and playing a reality game for entertainment, where however his soul has been sent to earth. It is his task to find & guess the right strategy to win in the game and earn the “ticket home”.

Internal Journey: From not knowing the rules of the game to knowing them and knowing how to be released from it, becoming independent thinker and spiritually strong.

External Journey: At the beginning he is living a normal life without remembering previous reincarnations. After the point of change (hint from curator) he is living consciously with the awareness and being in control what is right and what is wrong. Finally he is getting high scores by being on the “right” way. Game is over and he is free to go back home.

Motivation: He wants to return to his own body on his home planet for this he has to earn enough points to complete the game.

Wound: -not exist in the context at the moment-

Mission: Advancement in the game, get soul experience on earth and complete the game.

What makes them special? He is not an ordinary human.

Genre: FICTION ACTION.

Supported characters:

1. Antagonist, Villain, TIBY, man in his 30s:

He is also not an ordinary human; he is a friend of the protagonist from another planet. He starts to play the same game to the later point of time. His role is to show the wrong (old way) of the protagonist and to set free the protagonist at the end of the movie.

Motivation: He is still earning his points in the game and enjoying playing.

Wound: -not exist in the context at the moment-

Mission: Advancement in the game, get soul experience on earth and complete the game.

Internal Journey: From not knowing the rules of the game to knowing them, following the system to getting surprised that he was doing wrong thing.

External Journey: He starts playing the game at the later point of time. At the beginning he is living (playing) similar to the protagonist just in different time periods and roles. The behavior and understanding of the game is the same. At the end he learns from protagonist that his way (old way) is not the right way. Thus he is getting surprised and challenged to reset his values.

What makes them special? He is not an ordinary human.

2. Charlotte: a young female in her late 20s; scientist; she is new love of the protagonist. She is a witness of crime done by a corrupted politician. Protagonist safes her life.

What makes them special? She is innocent, beautiful and has a big heart.

3. Gabriel is curator of the galaxy souls; Man in his 50s. Gabriel accesses scores for the game and sets goals for the next reincarnation. He provided hints and indirect supervision for the protagonist by revealing the true rules, the true goal, true nature, true understanding and the true.

What makes them special? He is not a human, he is a kind of angel/earth god who has many powers and looks after the planet earth.

Minor characters: a corrupted politician.

Background characters: children of protagonist, wife, his lover, wife’s lover and minor characters to fill scenes of protagonist’s flashbacks and home planet of the protagonist and antagonist.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Angelina Fluehler Transformational journey

2. Who is your Hero and what is their Character Arc that represents a transformation?

ARC BEGINNING: Man in his late 30s, wealthy businessman married with two kids. He is not a normal human; he is living one of his many reincarnated lives on planet earth. After sequences of his reincarnation journey he wants to return to his own body on his home planet. His soul does not know what the rules are to get back home. It is his task to find & guess the right strategy to win in the game.

When souls reincarnate, and assume very dense and primitive physical forms, they suffer from strong amnesia. In difference to normal humans he doesn’t forget completely his reincarnations. During one of sudden visions he meets the curator Gabriel, who is the soul’s manager of our galaxy, who gives him a hint how get released of the game (the strategy of success):

· Once he has paid for his sins, he will have earn his “ticket” to go back home.

ARC ENDING:

He dies by helping another person. After his soul meets Gabriel who accesses his goals and scores enough to being released.

Internal Journey: From not knowing the rules of the game to knowing them and knowing how to be released from it, becoming independent thinker and spiritually strong.

External Journey: Living a normal life without remembering previous reincarnations. Living consciously with the awareness and being in control what is right and what is wrong. Getting higher scores and being on the “right” way.

3. What are the Old Ways and New Ways?

Old Ways:

He lived with the system, followed the rules of the system on earth, he was part of the system and lived in a trend.

New Ways:

He thinks in terms of revolution, critical thinking, and becoming creative.

4. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

I learned the trick of the ARC and better separated the “BEGINNG” and the “END” of the character and the story. I learned that there are “new” and “old” WAYS, which must be explained clearly.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by  Angelina Fluehler.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Name: Angelina Fluehler

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Hi. My name is Angelina. I’ve written 0 movie scripts so far, however I have already three registered synopsis on my desk. By the end of the class I look forward to completing one of them at the best possible quality, i.e. writing my first full script. Thus I look forward to learn technique of script writing to be able to write quicker by having a full understanding of the process. I worked many years in physics, so I have good skills of scientific writing. Also my scientific background gave a concept to this script idea, which I am going to work on during the class.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Just compare concept & conflict to your characters:

Marries couple

She is diagnosed corona and she is pregnant.

They are closed in separate room for two weeks

Her mother gets hospitalized

But who actually have a corona virus at the end?

[Angelina Fluehler]

Dear Brenda

Thank you so much for your detailed and very valuable feedback.

Cheers

[Angelina Fluehler]

Yes, his life is in danger. He indeed will be killed in 2 scenes later.

[Angelina Fluehler]

Interesting set up. Well & clear written.

[Angelina Fluehler]

I like definetly more your 2nd & 3d PASS. The 1st is not easy to read/understand.