
Ann Carpenter
Forum Replies Created
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Ann has completed the BW Framework!
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Assignment 1: Example Show WEDNESDAY
WEDNESDAY PROFILE
A. Hope: to be left alone. Fear: She won’t be accepted.
B. Want: To be more than her mother was. Need: to prove it to herself.
C. Base Negative Emotion: bitter and morbid. Public Mask: Morbid and negative.
D. Weaknesses: overconfident that she doesn’t need anyone.
E. Triggers: hugs, smiles, over friendliness.
F. Coping Mechanism: Ignoring everyone, playing her cello, writing
ENID PROFILE
A. Hope: to be loved. Fear: that she won’t fit in.
B. Want: To have family. Need: to wolf out.
C. Base Negative Emotion: fearful, Public Mask: Friendly, cheerful.
D. Weaknesses: standing up for herself. Too submissive.
E. Triggers: rudeness
F. Coping Mechanism: showing her claws. Then turning the other cheek.
Assignment 2:
Ann’s Character Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is that I can be open to new ideas by using AI. It’s a springboard for me.
Sister:
· Internal Struggle (Hope/Fear): Struggles with the hope of bringing peace to her town but fears the corrupt forces she fights.
· Motivation (Want/Need): Wants to ensure justice for the people and needs to find her place in this wild frontier.
· Mask (Base Negative Emotion/Public Mask): hides her anger from past injustices with a composed exterior to maintain the trust and respect of the town.
· Weaknesses: Her unwavering faith (gullible) makes her vulnerable to betrayal and manipulation.
· Triggers: Seeing acts of cruelty reminds her of her past.
· Coping Mechanism: Turns to prayer.
Razor Jack:
· Internal Struggle (Hope/Fear): Hoping to find a new life free of crime. Fears that he can never change.
· Motivation (Want/Need): Wants to prove that he is just more than an average criminal. He needs to be the best.
· Mask (Base Negative Emotion/Public Mask: Wears a cold and merciless façade to keep others at a distance.
· Weaknesses: Can’t trust anyone and he’s too impulsive.
· Triggers: Anyone that questions his identity.
· Coping Mechanism: The more impulsive and reckless he can be, he gains a sense of control and power.
Lone Eagle:
· Internal Struggle (Hope/Fear): hopes for the preservation of his tribe but fears the loss of their cultural identity.
· Motivation (Want/Need): Wants to protect the scared lands. Needs to bridge the gap between the settlers and his tribe for peace.
· Mask (Base Negative Emotion/Public Mask): hides his deep resentment toward the settlers. Wears a diplomatic face to maintain peace.
· Weaknesses: His fierce loyalty to Sister and his tribe blinds him to other perspectives. This leads to misunderstandings.
· Triggers: any incident of disrespect towards his heritage triggers anger.
· Coping Mechanism: Seeks solace in nature.
The four young brothers- Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John:
· Internal Struggle (Hope/Fear): hoping to prove their worth and independence but fear the idea of being separated.
· Motivation (Want/Need): Want to establish their place in the world but they need to protect each other. They value their bond above all else.
· Mask (Base Negative Emotion/Public Mask: They hide their insecurities behind a façade of unity. They present a united front even when facing internal conflicts.
· Weaknesses: Being so dependent upon each other leads to an inability to make individual decisions and stand up for their personal beliefs.
· Triggers: Threats to their unity and safety. It creates fights between them.
· Coping Mechanism: Leaning on each other, sharing experiences and memories. This gives them the sense of security and stability.
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Ann’s Engaging Main Characters
Assignment 1
What I learned doing this assignment is how deep and beneath the surface so much of the story is developed. It is highlighted by using the engaging profile.
WEDNESDAY
Role in the show:
Wednesday: mysterious student, resentful of school, challenges everything
Unique Purpose/Expertise: Wednesday is the force searching for answers and is also the prime suspect. She can do anything. Her skills are amazing because they are hidden until needed.
Intrigue: What is the secret beneath the surface? Every action she takes leads her closer to the truth. Wednesday outsmarts them all and she has help from THING
Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing? She will do whatever it takes to get her answers and also revenge.
Unpredictable: What will they do next? Wednesday can sometimes be a friend but that’s rare.
Empathetic: Why do we care? We feel sorry for her because she is an out cast and treated so horribly by the classmates.
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Ann’s Three Circles of Characters
What I learned doing this assignment is the brilliance that comes from layers and open loops designing these character relationships.
Assignment 1: From WEDNESDAY
Main Characters Circle: Wednesday, Enid, Weems, Bianca, Tyler, Thing
Connected Circle: Eugene, Sheriff Galpin, Marilyn, Xavier
Environment Circle: Bianca’s Siren, Sheriff Galpin’s deputy, Poe Cup teams
Assignment 2: From my show
What I learned from this assignment is how many avenues of creativity AI opens. Lots of the ideas generated were bland but they held a few key points that led me to some great ideas for my own show.
Main Circle:
Sister Ann: She’s spunky nun who has been assigned to open a school.
Lone Eagle: Sister Ann’s best friend who serves as her right hand.
Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John (The four brothers) on the run from Razor Jack are led to Sister Ann by Lone Eagle.
Razor Jack is as evil as they come. He’s has stolen the boys ranch and wants them dead.
Connected Circle: The outlaws, The storekeeper, The café owner, Lang, Graveyard, Bones,
Environment Circle: The townspeople, the marshal,
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What I learned from this is how powerful and useful discovering the 5 Star Points of the opening episode. These points self-propel your desire to learn more and keep watching.
WEDNESDAY
List of the 5 Star Points:
1. Big Picture Hook: How will this misplaced (fish out of water), socially unacceptable girl (in both normal world and weird world be accepted) and what will she do next to survive and maybe even make friends.
2. Amazing & Intriguing Characters:
· WEDNESDAY: offbeat outlook on life, surprising responses, interesting because you never know what she thinks. Clever and witty dialog. Keeps her guard up. She has visions.
· ENID: Bright colored roommate who is the opposite of Wednesday. She wants to be Wednesday’s friend…weird. She is not a fully developed werewolf. Confesses that she’ll be a lone wolf unless she “wolfs out”.
· THING: Honestly how can a hand be interesting? But Thing is. Sign language and tapping and bowing. He’s sneaky but loyal.
· TYLER: Cute and interested in Wednesday. He’s a normal and a friend to Wednesday. At this point I have to say that any friend of Wednesday’s is intriguing.
· PRINCIPAL WEEMS: Her face and words say one thing but her eyes say another. She is shifty.
3. Empathy/Distress:
· WEDNESDAY: She’s called all kinds of hurtful names like Freak, Weirdo, etc. She’s a loner. She doesn’t fit in. But we admire her strength to keep going. Distress: she hates where she is and wants to run away. She cares/she doesn’t care.
· ENID: Cheerful and friendly, she’s smacked down by Wednesday. Yet she keeps trying. Distress: she hasn’t wolfed out yet. She’s afraid she’ll be a lone wolf. She’s so friendly that we know that she needs a wolf pack.
4. Layers/Open loops: Who is the murderer? Will Wednesday fit in? Will her therapy work? Will she make friends? Who wants to hurt her? Who will she hurt?
5. Inviting Obsession: We need to know what Wednesday is going to do. We need to see more in her world. The characters have captured our imagination and interest. So many mysteries to solve.
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Ann Carpenter: I agree to the terms of this release form.
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Ann’s 4 Act Structure
What I learned doing this assignment is that there are some alternate turning points that will work better than my original ones.
Title: VANISHING TERRORISTS
Genre: Thriller
Concept: A Florida rancher resentful of her tribe’s lifestyle discovers a terrorist’s plan to steal the hidden Cold War missiles and destroy the Everglades. When the FBI fails, she embraces the old traditions to stop the terrorists.
Main Conflict: Stopping the terrorists from stealing the missiles. It’s life and death.
Act 1:
· Traditional Seminole funeral in the swamp. River’s refusal to participate.
· Inciting Incident: River (protagonist) meets Zuka (antagonist) spying on her on her ranch. Who’s fooling who?
· Turning Point: Dave and Jeff (Montana FBI) arrive disguised as cowboys.
Act 2:
· New Plan: Dave and Jeff use River’s ranch as a cover to help the Florida FBI locate the terrorists and to discover their target.
· Plan in action: River, Dave, and Jeff go on a nighttime python hunt up the river but in reality all three are looking for something else.
· Midpoint Turning Point: River, Jeff, and Dave discover an abandoned pier and shack that has been recently used. It’s the terrorists headquarter and python breeding farm. They discover the terrorists mission and the missiles.
Act 3:
React/Rethink: River discovers that her pet alligator has been skinned, someone (Chief Skinny Snake?) with swamp knowledge had to know where this pier and cabin were, she knows Jeff and Dave are FBI, and she knows what Zuka (the terrorists) has planned.
New Plan: She knows she must use Seminole Indian Swamp skills to stop the plan and revenge the alligator’s death.
Turning Point: Jeff and Dave are near death. The terrorists have found the missiles and they have a python breeding farm. The only way River can win is to fall back on Seminole help and strategies.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate Express of the Conflict: River attacks Zuka and his helpers. She has her Indian friends take out the terrorist team. Zuka hurts River but she rallies and tracks him in the swamp.
Resolution: Dave and Jeff are saved. They meet with other FBI at River’s home. No one can find any trace of the terrorists.
River delivers Zuka’s scalp to Chief Skinny Snake.
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1. Name? Ann Carpenter
2. How many scripts you’ve written? 6 (2 were produced)
3. What you hope to get out of the class? The knowledge to get my scripts in the right hands.
4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? I love Gunsmoke!
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Ann Carpenter
I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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Ann Max Interest Part 1
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is finding the essence of the scene points to the major need for interest techniques. This was a breakthrough for me. The scene I’m using for this lesson was just a blah: she did this and this. But when I looked at the essence of the scene…She’s found the missile I realized how much this scene needed interest techniques.
Logline: River finds the missile.
The Essence is that River has found that the missile really does exist and it is what the terrorists are looking for plus she realizes her grandfather is involved.
Interest techniques: suspense, major twist, surprise, betrayal
Revised scene:
INT. TUNNEL – NIGHT
As River steps into the dark tunnel, she stretches her hands in front of her face. She slaps way palmetto leaves. Yelps in pain as they slice her hands. She stumbles to the ground and feels the path of a track with her hands.
She jumps to her feet and bangs against a hard wall. She pulls out her knife and stabs the wall. The loud sound of metal meets metal.
River talks to herself.
RIVER
So this is what you’ve been doing with Zuka. These weren’t lost or forgotten.
River leans her head against the wall. She takes a deep breath. In anger, she claws the wall to remove the covering. She reveals the Hercules missile.
River screams in fury.
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Ann Profiles People
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is
Person 1(S) : intuitively smart, caring, generous, secretive
I tested Person 1. This is what I found: her secretive trait was very annoying, made her untrustworthy, even when she solved a problem in a caring way I still was suspicious. I might not like this person as much as I thought.
Person 2(L): religious, honest, responsible, unforgiving
I tested Person 2. This is what I found: her religion makes her honest but it didn’t make her a “forgive and forget” person, it almost makes her carry a grudge, but she did take the blame for something that was her fault.
Person 3 (M): forceful, demanding, fake, funny
I tested Person 3. This is what I found: a bully with a sense of humor and maybe even that sense of humor is fake, making snap judgments and decisions to make sure she is in control, and you would want her on your side in a fight.
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Ann Puts Essence to Work
What I learned is really hard to do but worth the effort. It’s a good feeling when you have a break through and/or when you realize the scene isn’t needed or it can be combined to another scene. What was flat and boring springs to life.
Script I choose: VANISHING TERRORISTS
Scene 1 location: End of Act 1
Logline: The cowboys move into the bunkhouse and discuss the use of tags.
Essence I’ve discovered: We realize that the Cowboys aren’t really cowboys. They are undercover FBI, CIA, etc. We don’t know exactly but it’s revealed that they suspect River (the protagonist)
New Logline: The cowboys reveal they are investigating River and the ranch.
Scene 2 location: Beginning of Act 2
Logline: Zuka and his team load bags into the back of the truck.
Essence I’ve discovered: There isn’t any. This scene is a cut.
Scene 3 location: End of Act 1
Logline: River comforts her friend and warns her of the dangers in the swamp.
Essence I’ve discovered: River is really seeking comfort and help from her friend.
New Logline: River’s grief over the little dead boy is the fire that lights her fears of the changes in the swamp.
Scene 4 location: Act 2
Logline: Zuka bullies the Chief but controls him with beer.
Essence I’ve discovered: Zuka’s bullying only covers the Chief’s passive aggression towards Zuka and sets the stage for the Chief’s revenge.
New Logline: The Chief is not fooled or bribed by Zuka’s actions.
Scene 5 location: Act 2
Logline: Zuka scolds the team and informs them they have a new leader.
Essence I’ve discovered: Zuka’s team wants to quit but are afraid of him. But learning that there is a new leader gives them hope.
New Logline: The team wants to quit until Zuka tells them they have a new leader.
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Ann Finds the Essence
What I learned is that there is more depth to great writing and it all starts with getting to the essence of what you want to write.
Script I choose: The Shawshank Redemption
Scene 1 location: In the first 10 pages, Scene 9, Shawshank Hearing room.
Logline: Red pleads his case for freedom and is rejected.
Essence: There is no hope. A good speech will get you nowhere.
Scene 2 location:, Scene 58, The Roof
Logline: Andy offers financial advice to a guard and gets beers for gu co-workers.
Essence: Andy has found a way to make inroads with the guards and prisoners.
Scene 3 location: Scene 86, midpoint
Logline: Norton searches Andy’s cell for contraband and finds nothing.
Essence: Norton is testing Andy. Makes sure Andy knows his place.
Scene 4 location: Scene 93, Main Hallway
Logline: Andy asks Norton if he can request the Senate for money. Norton agrees to mail the letters.
Essence: Andy has gotten Norton’s permission and assistance.
Scene 5 location: Last 20 pages Scene 258
Logline: Norton discovers how Andy carved his way to freedom.
Essence: Andy has found salvation and Norton is being delivered payback.
My selection for the most profound essence: INT -- NORTON'S OFFICE -- DAY (1966) 258
Norton opens his safe and pulls out the “ledger” — it’s
Andy’s Bible. The title page is inscribed by hand: “Dear
Warden. You were right. Salvation lay within.” Norton flips to
the center of the book — and finds the pages hollowed out in
the shape of a rock-hammer.
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Ann Finds the Essence
What I learned is that there is more depth to great writing and it all starts with getting to the essence of what you want to write.
Script I choose: The Shawshank Redemption
Scene 1 location: In the first 10 pages, Scene 9, Shawshank Hearing room.
Logline: Red pleads his case for freedom and is rejected.
Essence: There is no hope. A good speech will get you nowhere.
Scene 2 location:, Scene 58, The Roof
Logline: Andy offers financial advice to a guard and gets beers for gu co-workers.
Essence: Andy has found a way to make inroads with the guards and prisoners.
Scene 3 location: Scene 86, midpoint
Logline: Norton searches Andy’s cell for contraband and finds nothing.
Essence: Norton is testing Andy. Makes sure Andy knows his place.
Scene 4 location: Scene 93, Main Hallway
Logline: Andy asks Norton if he can request the Senate for money. Norton agrees to mail the letters.
Essence: Andy has gotten Norton’s permission and assistance.
Scene 5 location: Last 20 pages Scene 258
Logline: Norton discovers how Andy carved his way to freedom.
Essence: Andy has found salvation and Norton is being delivered payback.
My selection for the most profound essence: INT -- NORTON'S OFFICE -- DAY (1966) 258
Norton opens his safe and pulls out the “ledger” — it’s
Andy’s Bible. The title page is inscribed by hand: “Dear
Warden. You were right. Salvation lay within.” Norton flips to
the center of the book — and finds the pages hollowed out in
the shape of a rock-hammer.
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Ann Carpenter
I agree to the terms of the release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.