[Ann Goldman]

Assignment #3

Elevating the Beats of the Story

Ann Goldman

MEMOIR

What I learned doing Story Beats is where my action/plot clearly flows, how it supports the beats before and after – and where it doesn’t! Reading them from the end to the beginning helped isolate the exciting beats, and those that dragged in between. Since so much of my story takes place in the same setting, it’s hard to separate the beats at times. But this process helped identify where work is needed. And it reflects the same weaknesses in the previous structure assignment.

Logline:

Renowned visual artist Rebekah Dari returns home to LA to premiere a documentary film about Muslim, Christian and Jewish musicians creating peace among Israeli neighbors, but when a journalist offers her a book deal, she must decide whether to expose her own reclusive life in a memoir to promote the film she passionately believes in, amidst the objections of her mother, a former lover, and an industrial magnate.

Genre: Political- Religious Romantic Comedy

Current Beats of Script

Act 1

1, INT- REBEKAH’S APARTMENT – AFTERNOON

· Judith and Abby arrive to prepare Rebekah’s apartment for her return home after 2 years.

· Jonathan Krupnik comes to the door to see Rebekah but Abby turns him away.

· Rebekah and Alex Kogan arrive from Israel and learn about the new Gaza/Israel Conflict.

· Judith invites them to Shabbat dinner that evening.

2. INT- REBEKAH’S APARTMENT – LATE AFTERNOON

· Jonathan returns, wakes Rebekah and offers her book deal, which she rejects.

· Rebekah and Jonathan try to convince each other to promote their projects.

· Rebekah is appalled Jonathan has hacked into her accounts and kicks him out.

· Jonathan tells Abby about the book deal.

3. INT – JUDITH’S HOME – EVENING

· Abby reveals Rebekah has received an offer to write her memoir.

· Judith is adamantly opposed; Alex and Abby are in favor. Rebekah begins to change her mind.

· Alex explains why the Gaza-Israeli conflict is continuing and everyone contributes info to the history of the situation.

· Rebekah shares her experiences in Morocco, making the documentary film, and enlists Abby’s involvement.

· Media relations’ Raina Gordon books them for an NPR interview on Monday.

END OF ACT ONE

ACT 2

4. INT – RADIO STATION – DAY

· Pam Torrison questions Alex, about the situation in the Gaza/Israel conflict and then all of them discuss the documentary Cousin’s in Concert premier at The New Middle East Center that could be a solution for world peace.

· Charles Talmage sees Rebekah in passing before his interview at the radio station.

5. INT – DOOR OUTSIDE REBEKAH’S APARTMENT – DAY

· Charles Talmage surprises Rebekah outside her apartment to ask her if she still paints portraits and she invites him inside.

· Rebekah is amazed that Charles is her first love all grown up and also engaged in The New Middle East Center, too.

· Charles leaves when Jonathan arrives unannounced to offer his support for Rebekah’s documentary and she agrees to write a memoir.

6. EXT – OUTSIDE IN FRONT OF THE NEW MIDDLE EAST CENTER – NIGHT

· Pam Torrison interviews all the notables after the world premiere of Cousins in Concert.

· Torrison reveals the documentary is a success and worthy of an Oscar nomination.

· Rebekah’s entourage and Charles entourage see one another for the very first time.

END OF ACT TWO

ACT 3

7. INT – REBEKAH’S APARTMENT – DAY

· Alex and Abby interrupt Rebekah’s writing to invite her to a meeting

· Tristan Givré’s arrival surprises them all and they enlist him to go to the meeting instead.

· Charles shows up for his portrait and terrified to learn Rebekah’s writing about their young love in her memoir

· After Jonathan arrives to edit Rebekah’s pages, Charles threatens Jonathan that Edgar Pepsing will have him fired if he tries to publish Rebekah’s book.

· Rebekah overhears, orders Charles to leave and insists that Jonathan tells her about his past and why he is so driven.

· Rebekah and Jonathan acknowledge their love for each other.

8. INT – REBEKAH’S APARTMENT – DAY

· Judith meets Charles and Edgar to appeal to them with reason (and nut horns) to change their minds about blocking Rebekah’s book.

· Judith and Charles discover an instant attraction for each other amidst opposing opinions.

· Rebekah comes home to see if her mother succeeded and then Alex comes to get Abby for a radio interview.

· Cassie arrives for a heart to heart with Rebekah and Jonathan interrupts them with news he’s been fired.

· Cassie announces she is pregnant and insists her father Edgar run for the Senate (instead of her fiancé Charles) and that her father should get Jonathan his job back and publish Rebekah’s book.

· The three couples come together in harmony and everyone celebrates joyful resolutions.

END OF ACT THREE

3^rd PROFESSIONAL REWRITE PROCESS: SEPARATING OUT

2. INT- REBEKAH’S APARTMENT – LATE AFTERNOON

· Sparks fly as Rebekah and Jonathan reject each other’s projects with escalating historical citations to change the other person’s mind.

3. INT – JUDITH’S HOME – EVENING

· Judith is adamantly opposed; Alex and Abby are in favor of Rebekah writing her memoir.

· Rebekah has no idea what to write about.

· Slyly, Alex engages everyone in conversation about the Gaza-Israeli conflict, the history of Palestine and their own experiences in the Israel. Rebekah realizes she loves sharing stories of personal adventures.

· Media relations Raina Gordon calls to book them for an NPR interview on Monday.

4. INT – RADIO STATION – DAY

· Pam Torrison challenges Alex to defend Israel’s response to the Gaza/Israel conflict.

· Alex provides the facts on the origin of the conflict and the success of his brother’s project for creating peace through music as can be seen in the film Cousin’s in Concert.

· Pam Torrison is intrigued to see if Cousin’s in Concert could be a solution for world peace.

REVISED STORY BEATS in each scene

2. INT- REBEKAH’S APARTMENT – LATE AFTERNOON

· Jonathan returns, wakes Rebekah and offers her book deal, which she rejects.

· Sparks fly as Rebekah and Jonathan reject each other’s projects with escalating historical citations to change the other person’s mind.

· Rebekah is appalled Jonathan has hacked into her accounts and kicks him out.

· Jonathan tells Abby about the book deal.

3. INT – JUDITH’S HOME – EVENING

· Abby reveals Rebekah has received an offer to write her memoir.

· Judith is adamantly opposed; Alex and Abby are in favor of Rebekah writing her memoir.

· Rebekah has no idea what to write about.

· Slyly, Alex engages everyone in conversation about the Gaza-Israeli conflict, the history of Palestine and their own experiences in Israel.

· Rebekah realizes she loves sharing stories of her personal adventures.

· Media relations Raina Gordon calls to book them for an NPR interview on Monday.

ACT 2

5. INT – RADIO STATION – DAY

· Torrison challenges Alex to defend Israel’s response to the Gaza/Israel conflict.

· Alex provides facts on the origin of the conflict and the success in his brother’s project for creating peace through music as can be seen in the film Cousin’s in Concert.

· Pam Torrison is eager to see if Cousins could truly be a solution for world peace.

· Charles Talmage sees Rebekah in passing before his interview at the radio station.

[Ann Goldman]

Rewrite Assignment #2

Ann L. Goldman: MEMOIR

Basic Structure Version 1

What I’ve learned doing this assignment isthere are many ways to describe the story but deciding which part of the structure is essential to move the story forward is tricky. I needed time to meditate on how to clarify and define what is most important in what I’m trying to say in defining the 9 parts and identifying the themes. It is hard to know how to present each part so it will appeal to the reader.

1. Logline:

Renowned visual artist Rebekah Dari returns home to LA to premiere a documentary film about Muslim, Christian and Jewish musicians creating peace among Israeli neighbors, but when a journalist offers her a book deal, she must decide whether to expose her own reclusive life in a memoir to promote the film she passionately believes in, amidst the objections of her mother, a former lover, and an industrial magnate.

Genre: Political-religious romantic comedy

2. Structure of Main Conflict:

1. Opening

Warmly embraced by her mother and niece, internationally renowned portrait painter Rebekah Dari returns home after two years in Israel to discover another conflict is erupting between Gaza and Israel. She is accompanied by visiting professor Alex Kogan to celebrate the opening of The New Center for Middle Eastern Studies and the world premier of the documentary Cousins in Concert, which she helped produce.

2. Inciting Incident

When the journalist Jonathan Krupnik arrives at her door to make a book deal for her memoir, she rejects the offer and tries to convince him to promote the Cousins film instead. Jonathan tries to leverage his offer with knowledge that she is broke and needs the money, Rebekah is appalled that he hacked into her personal accounts and kicks him out.

3. By page 10, we know what the movie is about

Rebekah Dari has built a career painting portraits of the richest and most powerful people in the world, always shunning publicity. Two years ago, she vanished from sight to work on a project with Muslim, Christian and Jewish musicians playing music with Israeli neighbors, creating peace. She has returned home with a documentary of this project and the passionate belief that it can be a model for world peace. Jonathan Krupnik believes the world would be eager to hear about her life and mysterious journey and has come to offer her a book deal for her memoir.

4. First turning point at end of Act I

Later at dinner and discussion, Alex supports the idea of the memoir. Her mother is adamantly opposed and Rebekah finds herself exploring memories and history that might be worthy of writing about. When Raina Gordon calls, to schedule Rebekah and Alex for a national NPR interview to publicize The Center and premiere of Cousins in Concert, Rebekah doesn’t hesitate to say yes.

5. Mid-point

The NPR interview triggers an encounter with Charles Tallmadge, Rebekah’s first love and prospective son-in-law of Edgar Pepsing, the benefactor of The Center. Charles surprises Rebekah with a visit at her home and engages her to paint his portrait for his Senatorial campaign. As he leaves, Jonathan arrives after hearing Rebekah and Alex on the radio.

6. Second turning point at end of Act II

The NPR radio interview has convinced Jonathan to support Rebekah’s project and in turn, he convinces Rebekah that her memoir would really help promote the ideas in the film. Rebekah agrees to write a memoir if she can do it on her own. Jonathan agrees to be the editor.

7. Crisis

Charles goes to Rebekah’s to sit for his portrait and discovers she is writing about their first love in her memoir. He begs her not to, terrified it will ruin his Senatorial campaign, but she is not deterred. When left alone with Jonathan, Charles threatens that Edgar Pepsing will have Jonathan fired if he publishes Rebekah’s book. Rebekah overhears and tells Charles to leave.

8. Climax

A few minutes later, Jonathan gets a phone call to meet with his boss the next morning regarding Edgar Pepsing’s request to fire him. For the first time, Jonathan reveals his past to Rebekah, his deep appreciation for her work and his commitment to publishing her book. Their appreciation is mutual. At last they share their deep feelings for one another.

9. Resolution

The next morning at Rebekah’s, Judith greets Charles and Edgar with nut horns and coffee and tries to change their minds about the book. Edgar and Judith have an immediate attraction even though they’re on opposite sides of the political and religious spectrum. Rebekah returns to see her ploy has worked better than expected. Then, Callie arrives with some dazzling revelations. She is Charles fiancée and Edgar’s daughter. Jonathan arrives as Callie and Rebekah are having a private conversation, after which Callie announces to everyone’s surprise that she is pregnant, that instead of Charles, her dad should run for Senate and he should publish Rebekah’s book. In a complete reversal of expectations, three happy couples agree and the story ends in joyful celebration.

3. MY ELEMENT TO ELEVATE: 4. First turning point at end of Act I

Later at dinner and discussion, Alex supports the idea of the memoir. Her mother is adamantly opposed and Rebekah finds herself exploring memories and history that might be worthy of writing about. When Raina Gordon calls, to schedule Rebekah and Alex for a national NPR interview to publicize The Center and premiere of Cousins in Concert, Rebekah doesn’t hesitate to say yes.

4. The main purpose of the First turning point at end of Act I is to recount the history of Israel/Palestine from ancient to modern times, providing context for the current conflict and the importance of Rebekah’s dedication to promoting Cousins in Concert, which inadvertently gives purpose for her memoir.

List of Possible Ways to Elevate Scene:

a. 1-Jonathan follows Rebekah to her mothers to try to convince her family se should do the book

b. 2-Jonathan calls the mediate and floats the rumor that Rebekah is going to do a memoir on the coattails of the film

c. 3-Jonathan contacts Raina Gordon, the media relations person at The Center to try to get her to pressure/commission Rebekah for a memoir to help The new Center

d. 4-Alex actively encourages Rebekah to write the memoir and gets into a heated argument with her mother who objects to the whole idea.

e.<font face=”Times New Roman”> 5.-</font>Alex offers to co-author Rebekah’s memoir.

f. 6-Alex brainstorms ideas for the memoir with Rebekah and in the process the history of the current conflict is clarified

SECOND LIST OF MAIN CONFLICT AND STRUCTURE – which is identical except for ELEVATING the First turning point at end of Act I

1. Opening

Warmly embraced by her mother and niece, internationally renowned portrait painter Rebekah Dari returns home after two years in Israel to discover another conflict is erupting between Gaza and Israel. She is accompanied by visiting professor Alex Kogan to celebrate the opening of The New Center for Middle Eastern Studies and the world premier of the documentary Cousins in Concert, which she helped produce.

2. Inciting Incident

When the journalist Jonathan Krupnik arrives at her door to make a book deal for her memoir, she rejects the offer and tries to convince him to promote the Cousins film instead. Jonathan tries to leverage his offer with knowledge that she is broke and needs the money, Rebekah is appalled that he hacked into her personal accounts and kicks him out.

3. By page 10, we know what the movie is about

Rebekah Dari has built a career painting portraits of the richest and most powerful people in the world, always shunning publicity. Two years ago, she vanished from sight to work on a project with Muslim, Christian and Jewish musicians playing music with Israeli neighbors, creating peace. She has returned home with a documentary of this project and the passionate belief that it can be a model for world peace. Jonathan Krupnik believes the world would be eager to hear about her life and mysterious journey and has come to offer her a book deal for her memoir.

4. First turning point at end of Act I

At dinner, when Abby reveals Rebekah’s book deal to her grandmother and Alex, the two get into a heated argument of the value of the book and what it’s content might be, thereby actually convincing Rebekah to do it.

5. Mid-point

The NPR interview triggers an encounter with Charles Tallmadge, Rebekah’s first love and prospective son-in-law of Edgar Pepsing, the benefactor of The Center. Charles surprises Rebekah with a visit at her home and engages her to paint his portrait for his Senatorial campaign. As he leaves, Jonathan arrives after hearing Rebekah and Alex on the radio.

6. Second turning point at end of Act II

The NPR radio interview has convinced Jonathan to support Rebekah’s project and in turn, he convinces Rebekah that her memoir would really help promote the ideas in the film. Rebekah agrees to write a memoir if she can do it on her own. Jonathan agrees to be the editor.

7. Crisis

Charles goes to Rebekah’s to sit for his portrait and discovers she is writing about their first love in her memoir. He begs her not to, terrified it will ruin his Senatorial campaign, but she is not deterred. When left alone with Jonathan, Charles threatens that Edgar Pepsing will have Jonathan fired if he publishes Rebekah’s book. Rebekah overhears and tells Charles to leave.

8. Climax

A few minutes later, Jonathan gets a phone call to meet with his boss the next morning regarding Edgar Pepsing’s request to fire him. For the first time, Jonathan reveals his past to Rebekah, his deep appreciation for her work and his commitment to publishing her book. Their appreciation is mutual. At last they share their deep feelings for one another.

9. Resolution

The next morning at Rebekah’s, Judith greets Charles and Edgar with nut horns and coffee and tries to change their minds about the book. Edgar and Judith have an immediate attraction even though they’re on opposite sides of the political and religious spectrum. Rebekah returns to see her ploy has worked better than expected. Then, Callie arrives with some dazzling revelations. She is Charles fiancée and Edgar’s daughter. Jonathan arrives as Callie and Rebekah are having a private conversation, after which Callie announces to everyone’s surprise that she is pregnant, that instead of Charles, her dad should run for Senate and he should publish Rebekah’s book. In a complete reversal of expectations, three happy couples agree and the story ends in joyful celebration.

[Ann Goldman]

MEMOIR – Assignment #1

What I learned:

I realized my script, is in fact a political-religious romantic comedy.In trying to define the essential structure of my story for a One Page, I recognized the basic elements that moved the story forward, what I needed to keep and what was NOT important to describe. As a result, it was clear the political & religious themes were woven from beginning to end along with the romantic chemistry among the characters, both integral to telling the story.

MEMOIR Logline:

A renowned, enigmatic artist returns home to LA to premiere a documentary film about Arab and Israeli musicians creating peace through their concerts, but she must decide whether to expose her own reclusive life in an memoir to promote the film she passionately believes in, despite the objections of her mother, a former lover and an industrial magnate.

MEMOIR One Page:

Rebekah Dari, renown and elusive visual artist, returns home to LA after two years for the world premiere of the documentary she helped produce: Cousins in Concert. The film is about Israeli neighbors – Arabs, Muslims, Christians, Jews – coming together with professional musicians to make music and create peace. Bekah passionately believes this project can be a model for the world; proof positive that the arts can solve conflict among neighbors and nations when governments fail.

Rebekah arrives from Tel Aviv just as conflict between Gaza and Israel erupts in the summer of 2014. Dr. Alex Kogan accompanies her. They have come to celebrate the opening of The New Center for Middle Eastern Studies. Alex is The Center’s first visiting professor. The world premiere of Cousins in Concert will be the crown jewel in the inaugural week’s festivities.

Rebekah’s mother, Judith, and her niece, Abby, are stocking up her apartment when Rebekah and Alex arrive. Judith fills them in on details of the emerging Middle Eastern conflict and insists they both come to Shabbat dinner. Abby makes arrangements to pick up Alex later at his hotel.

Rebekah is awakened from a quick nap when the journalist Jonathan Krupnik keeps ringing her doorbell. He is after a book deal for her memoir, a real coup from the reclusive artist who hates publicity. Bekah rejects the proposal, but wants him to write about the film. Chemistry between the two is apparent as they try to convince each other which project is most important, until Jonathan reveals he knows she needs the money. Rebekah is appalled that he hacked into her financial accounts and kicks him out.

Abby arrives just before Krupnik leaves and he enlists her support for the memoir. Later at dinner, Abby reveals the book proposal. Judith is adamantly against it, but Alex thinks it could be a good idea. As they all discuss events, conflict and history, Rebekah unconsciously begins to gather thoughts about what she might write. At the end of dinner, media relations director Raina Gordon calls to tell Rebekah and Alex they are scheduled Monday for a radio interview to publicize The New Center and film.

The esteemed journalist Pam Torrison interviews Alex and Rebekah for their insights and understanding on the escalating Gaza/Israeli conflict. The next set of guests arrives: Edgar Pepsing, industrial tycoon and benefactor of The New Center, and his prospective son-in-law and Senatorial candidate, Charles Talmage. After the groups cross paths, Charles turns to Raina and asks if Rebekah still paints portraits.

Charles surprises Rebekah at her apartment. Rebekah is amazed to discover he is her first love all grown up and agrees to do his portrait. When Jonathan Krupnik arrives unannounced, Charles leaves quickly. Jonathan offers to support Rebekah’s film and convinces her the autobiography is a great way to do it.

That Thursday evening, all the characters emerge in their glittering finest after the premiere of the documentary. It is a tremendous success and possible contender for an Academy Award.

Three weeks later Rebekah is hard at work writing her memoir. Alex and Abby arrive to ask her to attend a meeting to promote Cousins for an Oscar. She declines but the French Lebanese movie star Tristan Givré shows up unexpectedly and agrees to go instead. Charles Talmage arrives for his portrait and is terribly upset to learn he’s in Rebekah’s memoir. He’s afraid it will jeopardize his Senate race. When Jonathan arrives, Charles offers him a job at Pepsing’s newspaper if he’ll drop Rebekah’s book. Jonathan refuses. Charles threatens to have him fired. Rebekah overhears and kicks Charles out.

The next morning at Rebekah’s, Judith greets Charles and Edgar with nut horns and coffee to try to change their minds bout the book. Edgar and Judith have an immediate attraction even though they are on opposite sides of the political and religious spectrum. Rebekah returns to see her ploy has worked better than expected, and then Callie arrives with some dazzling revelations. She is Charles fiancée and Edgar’s daughter. When Jonathan arrives, Callie announces she is pregnant, that her dad should run for Senate instead of Charles and publish Rebekah’s book. In a complete reversal of expectations, three happy couples agree and the story ends in joyful celebration.

[Ann Goldman]

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Ann L Goldman