[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala's Plot

What I learned doing this assignment is: I need to not keep wanting to fill in all the blanks right away. Trust the process.

Act 1: 25 to 30 pages — Set up and see Old Ways.

• Opening – Daniel Walker, a successful, good-looking, wealthy novelist who likes superficial relationships he can break off without committing. He’s at a party/with his mom. Ashley is beautiful, charismatic and a super spy who hates relationships. She’s being pursued by militia members after a mission goes awry. Escapes safely.

Her initial state: In a mission, being pursued by terrorists.

His initial state: In a meeting with his publisher, about a book tour stop in Dubai.

Meet-Cute: Ashley stuns Daniel at a hotel pool in Dubai.

Him: He tries to seduce her.

Her: She brushes him off brusquely.

Inciting Incident: The oil billionaire who was her ticket to the party her target is throwing, dies of a sudden heart attack.

Him: He’s trying really hard to impress her.

Her: She’s informed by HQ that Daniel is going to the same party, so she must seduce him now, to get an invite.

Attraction/Flirting – Ashley drops by his room with the excuse of inviting him to dinner to make up for her rude behavior. She flirts with him, but he’s pissed and resists.

Her: Finally, as a last resort, she kisses him!

Him: He ends up inviting her to the mega-exclusive party he’s going to.

They go to the party, where Ashley assassinates the arms dealer. In the ensuing chaos, she sticks to Daniel as her cover and manages to evade suspicion.

Attraction/Flirting – Daniel flirts with her to get her to sleep with him.

Him: Buys them expensive champagne and tries to ‘comfort’ her.

Her: Dodges him and leaves.

She discovers that her room has been broken into. For safety, she goes back to Daniel. She sleeps with him in order to stay in his room that night.

Initial challenges Ashley: She’s surprised by the way Daniel opened up to her after they slept together, and feels attracted to him.

She has to leave him in the middle of the night to make her escape.

Initial challenges Daniel: he finds himself totally out of his league. For the first time, he’s been left hanging by a stunning woman, and has no idea how to deal with the rejection; he likes her on a deeper level than his usual women and is at a loss on how to process his feelings.

Denial Daniel: He consoles himself by thinking of her as a bitch and he would have dumped her anyway.

Denial Ashley: She convinces herself that he probably lies all the time to sleep with women.

Daniel returns to NYC and receives an invite from a mysterious admirer to visit his private island and yacht. The ‘admirer’ is a top assassin, whose mission was to kill the arms dealer in Dubai that Ashley killed instead. From CCTV footage, he identified Daniel as her lover and wants to use him for revenge. The assassin flatters Daniel and asks him how he would plot the assassination of a top global figure. An unsuspecting Daniel comes up with a plot.

After Daniel leaves and lands in the US, he is arrested from home by Homeland Security for assassinating the same top global figure! No one believes his claims he was framed – there is evidence. He’s transported to a black-bag prison.

• Turning Point – Ashley breaks him out of custody as he’s being transported!

Act 2: 20 to 30 pages — Challenge the Old Ways.

• Reaction – Daniel and Ashley are now on the run, being hunted by global agencies.

Ashley was sent by her boss to protect Daniel, who’s convinced that Daniel is being used as a decoy to mask the identity of the real killer. Her mission is to keep him alive, thereby forcing the real assassin to come after them to silence Daniel and protect himself.

She sneaks him out of the US on a private plane to Europe and takes him to a safe house in London, but the safe house is blown. They flee to Amsterdam, Brussels and Italy, but keep being pursued.

Separation/Forced Together – They are forced to work together to survive the manhunt.

Major conflict / Obstacle Daniel: Suddenly, Daniel is thrown together with Ashley again, in a situation where his life and safety depend on her. He tries to charm her and get to know her better despite their circumstances, but she resists his advances. He’s more bitter than ever.

Major conflict / Obstacle Ashley : Unexpectedly, Ashley is assigned to protect/shepherd Daniel. Their time together proves tricky as they keep bickering. He’s bitter and it turns her off even more.
Plan in action – They fail to draw out the real assassin.

• Midpoint Turning Point – Ashley’s boss, the only man who knows that Ashley is on a mission, is killed. Someone else is aware of their plan and is trying to sabotage it! Bounties are placed on Ashley and Daniel’s heads.

Act 3: 20 to 30 pages — With Midpoint change, Profound moments that give us new ways.

• Rethink everything – They are forced to seek safety/go underground.

Ashley and Daniel try to come to terms with the fact that they’re on their own and could be killed. He consoles her on the loss of her boss, who was a father figure. She feels vulnerable and shuts down, upsetting him. They decide to focus on saving their lives.

• New plan – Contact/tie up with a former agent from a rival agency.

Ashley’s contact helps them get new identities, a car, some money and guns, along with information that her boss asked him to pass on if Ashley contacted him. They make their way to Switzerland to access a secret locker her boss maintained there.

They find a hard drive and access it. Files in the drive point to a traitor in the agency. They hack into agency servers, but before they can access secure comms downloaded from a particular system, they are traced and surrounded.

• Working through Issues/Differences – They fight dozens of troops when their location is exposed. Ashley discovers that Daniel is trained in combat and firearms.

• Hate/Betrayal/All Hope is Lost – Daniel takes a bullet for Ashley and will die unless he receives treatment.

• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – Daniel is shot! The only way for him to live is to be taken to a hospital, so Ashley gives them both up. They are arrested!

Act 4: 25 pages — Test the change in this character! Prove New Ways!

• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – A mysterious person helps Ashley and Daniel escape.

Ashley’s boss, who is presumed dead, returns and tells them that the global figure was assassinated because he was secretly trying to broker a peace deal between X and Y countries. A hostile power, whose aim is to stop the peace deal for their own purposes was behind the assassination.

Daniel tells her he wants to see her again, but she says no. They part ways.

Self-Reflection Ashley: Ashley goes home after the mission, and keeps thinking of how Daniel took a bullet to save her. Her boss suggests that Daniel proved his trustworthiness. Having a partner who has your back is the best thing in life, especially in their profession. She regrets how she behaved with him.

Self-Reflection Daniel: Daniel goes home to his mother after the assassin is killed and the plot is exposed. She tells him that his journey is his own and need not be what his parents’ relationship was. He’s foolish to give up on love because of mistakes someone else made.

Acceptance and Growth Daniel: He contemplates what she said and makes a call to Ashley. When she doesn’t answer, he makes another call and says he needs help.

He then goes out for a run and is kidnapped.

Acceptance and Growth Ashley: Ashley doesn’t pick up Daniel’s call, but listens to his voicemail and changes her mind about not seeing him. She rushes to NYC to see him, but he’s not there. The doorman jokes that he might be out with a new fling. She leaves a letter for him.

• Resolution – Ashley and Daniel reunite.

Ashley gets sent on a mission to Paris by her boss. She is asked to meet a source at the top of the Eiffel tower to get valuable intel. Instead, Daniel is waiting for him at the top of the Eiffel tower.

Demonstrate the change Daniel: He meets her in Paris and accepts his mistakes. Begs for her forgiveness and love. Insists that he will support her no matter what.

Demonstrate the change Ashley: She discovers that her Paris rendezvous is actually Daniel. She asks him to forgive her as well and that she’s ready to trust and have someone in her life.

Reunion: She gives in and they kiss. They’re then sent on a joint mission!

Twist: the boss is Harry Tasker (Arnold from True Lies) who tells them that he knows all about going on missions with someone you love!

• This reply was modified 8 months, 3 weeks ago by  Avi K.

[Avi K]

Avi's Her Journey/His Journey

What I learned doing this assignment is: It’s okay to just fill in the blanks for now and keep brainstorming for better alternatives.

1. Create the individual Transformational Journey for each lead character.

Daniel Walker’s transformational Journey:

• 1. Initial state: Daniel is a successful, wealthy novelist, who prefers throwaway relationships with ‘arm-candy’ women because of his insecurities. No steady relationship, ever.

• 2. Meet-Cute moment: He meets Ashley, a stunning woman, in a bar at a hotel during a book tour. They have a drink, flirt, and sleep together and then she is gone the next morning.

• 3. Initial challenges: a. Daniel finds himself totally out of his league. For the first time, he’s been left hanging by a stunning woman, and has no idea how to deal with the rejection; he likes her on a deeper level than his usual women, and is at a loss on how to process his feelings. b. He tries to track her down using details she gave him, but draws a blank. Feels bitter and tries to put her out of his mind – unsuccessfully.

• 4. Major conflict / Obstacle: Suddenly, Daniel is thrown together with Ashley again, in a situation where his life and safety depend on her. He tries to charm her and get to know her better despite their circumstances, but she resists his advances. He’s more bitter than ever.

• 5. Self-Reflection: Daniel goes home to his mother after the assassin is killed and the plot is exposed. She tells him that his journey is his own and need not be what his parents’ relationship was. He’s foolish to give up on love because of mistakes someone else made.

• 6. Acceptance and Growth: He accepts his mother’s words and makes a call to Ashley (actually to her boss).

• 7. Demonstrate the change: He meets her in Paris and accepts his mistakes. Begs for her forgiveness and love. Insists that he will support her no matter what.

• 8. Reunion: She gives in and they kiss. They’re then sent on a joint mission!

Ashley Miller’s Transformational Journey:

• 1. Initial state: Ashley is a beautiful, glamorous, charismatic, super-spy, who stays away from relationships because she believes that partners will slow you down (or let you down? her former partner cheated on her and left her for someone else?).

• 2. Meet-Cute moment: She meets Daniel in a bar at a hotel during a mission. She has a drink with him and goes to his room for an alibi. But she finds him charming and funny, and sleeps with him.
• 3. Initial challenges: a. While she is attracted to him, she doesn’t believe they will work, because of her profession. (b. But she gives him her ‘ghost’ contact, just because she’s curious about him. Then she’s convinced he’s shallow like she believes, because he writes a rant about her.)

• 4. Major conflict / Obstacle: Unexpectedly, Ashley is assigned to protect/shepherd Daniel. Their time together proves tricky as they keep bickering. He’s bitter and it turns her off even more.

• 5. Self-Reflection: Ashley goes home after the mission, and keeps thinking of how Daniel took a bullet to save her. Her boss suggests that Daniel proved his trustworthiness. Having a partner who has your back is the best thing in life, especially in their profession. She regrets how she behaved with him.

• 6. Acceptance and Growth: She goes to NYC to see him, but he’s not there. The doorman jokes that he might be out with a new fling. She leaves a letter for him.

• 7. Demonstrate the change: She discovers that her Paris rendezvous is actually Daniel. She asks him to forgive her and that she’s ready to trust him.

• 8. Reunion: She gives in and they kiss. They’re then sent on a joint mission!

• This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by  Avi K.

[Avi K]

Avi's Seven Stages of Love

What I learned doing this assignment is: Once again realized that this does not have to be perfect! Need to keep moving initially.

The 7 Stages of Love:

• 1. Meet-Cute – Ashley and Daniel meet at the hotel pool in Dubai.

• 2. Attraction/Flirting – they flirt with each other and he invites her to a party he’s going to.

• 3. Denial – They each feel the other doesn’t really love them. They try to fish for each other’s feelings, but fake denial in order to emotionally protect themselves from the other’s expected refusal.

• 4. Separation/Forced Together – They are forced to work together to survive the manhunt launched to nab them.

• 5. Working through Issues/Differences – They fight dozens of troops when their location is exposed. Ashley discovers that Daniel is trained in combat and firearms.

• 6. Hate/Betrayal/All Hope is Lost – Daniel takes a bullet for Ashley and will die unless he receives treatment. She gives them both up.

• 7. Love Happens – They are tricked by her boss into meeting in Paris and their true feelings for each other come out.

• This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by  Avi K.

[Avi K]

Avi's Rom Com Project

What I learned doing this assignment is: I don’t have to have perfect ideas right off the bat. I just need to fill in the blanks for now and keep moving ahead.

1. Brainstorm at least 5 ideas for each of these and select the one or combination you like best for your bigger story.

• A. What interesting world could this movie/show be set in?

– International espionage.

– Publishing.

– International politics.

– War.

– Corporate world.

• B. What major conflict could be happening?

– Campaign for President.

– Peace talks to end a war.

– Plummeting sales.

– Assassination attempts.

– Covert intelligence operations to destabilize a country.

• C. What intriguing situation could these characters be engaged in?

– A novelist and a spy on the run.

– A novelist whose publisher wants to boost sales anyhow.

– A spy whose boss is a traitor.

– A novelist and a spy whose luggage gets mixed-up.

– A novelist who wants to shadow a spy for an upcoming book.

2. Turn that bigger story into a 3-Act or 4-Act structure.

Act 1: 25 to 30 pages — Set up and see Old Ways.

• Opening – Daniel is a successful, good-looking, wealthy novelist who likes superficial relationships he can break off without committing. Ashley is beautiful, charismatic and a super spy who hates relationships.

• Inciting Incident – Daniel is accused of an assassination attempt and arrested.

• Turning Point – Ashley breaks him out of custody.

Act 2: 20 to 30 pages — Challenge the Old Ways.

• Reaction – Daniel and Ashley are now on the run, being hunted by global agencies.

• Plan in action – They try to draw out the real assassin, but fail.

• Midpoint Turning Point – Ashley’s boss, the only man who knows that Ashley is on a mission, is killed. Someone else is aware of their plan and is trying to sabotage it! Bounties are placed on Ashley and Daniel’s heads.

Act 3: 20 to 30 pages — With Midpoint change, Profound moments that give us new ways.

• Rethink everything – They are forced to seek safety/go underground.

• New plan – Tie up with a rival agency/agent/bounty hunter to expose the traitor who killed Ashley’s boss/the power behind the plot to assassinate XYZ.

• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – They are betrayed and arrested!

Act 4:

• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – A mysterious person helps Ashley and Daniel escape. It’s her boss, who is presumed dead! He tells them that ABC is behind the plot, in connivance with a hostile power, whose aim is to stop assistance being sent to EFG country for X purpose.

• Resolution – The force behind the plot is exposed/arrested/killed, the plot is foiled. Ashley and Daniel part ways, because Ashley is not ready. But her boss convinces her otherwise. Daniel gets a mysterious request to go on a mission to Paris to meet a source and gather intel, but instead, Ashley is waiting for him at the top of the Eiffel tower. They kiss, but before they can do anything else, they get a notification of a joint mission!

• This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by  Avi K.

[Avi K]

Avi's Rom Com Project

What I learned doing this assignment is: It’s fascinating to see how chemistry between characters can be ‘created’ using the techniques in this lesson.

Who is She?
Ashley Miller: A top CIA agent, who hates relationships and believes that partners eventually let you down.

Who is He?
Daniel Walker: A successful novelist who wants a real relationship with someone who excites him and loves him not just for his money.

What makes them lovable?

What makes Ashley lovable?

• Unexpected vulnerability.

• Tragic past.

• The contrast between being glamorous, a spy and yet down-to-earth.

What makes William lovable?

• Self-depreciating humor.

• Willingness to help others.

• Willingness to do anything/depth of care for the people he loves.

• Want for true love.

What attracts them to each other?

What causes Ashley to be attracted to Daniel?

• His sense of humor.

• Kindness.

• Trustable and safe.

• Unexpected bravery/courage in danger.

What causes Daniel to be attracted to Ashley?

• Her vulnerability. She needs someone who can care.

• The need to prove her wrong about him.

• The allure of being with a spy.

What needs does each fulfill for the other?

What needs does Daniel fulfill for Ashley?

• The possibility of a true love story.

• Simplicity (as opposed to her complex world).

• A safe relationship that gives her what she can’t get from her usual one-night stands.

What needs does Ashley fulfill for Daniel?

• Adventure.

• He can make a difference for her.

• An enticing love story.

• This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by  Avi K.

[Avi K]

Avi’s Romcom Lesson 1

What I learned doing this assignment is: It’s harder than I thought to frame a concept! Also, it’s very interesting to understand how the conventions work in successful romcoms.

Two People Who Belong Together: A CIA agent who needs someone who can show her that a world where someone else can care for her exists- where she doesn’t need to be the one solving problems all the time. A novelist, who’s a ‘let me do that for ya’ kind of guy needs someone he can take care of.

How Are They Separated: Ashley’s boss convinces her on the eve of their wedding that life with Daniel isn’t the right thing for her – so she dumps him at the altar and goes on a mission.
What Forces Them together: Daniel is hired by an assassin who targets the POTUS and Ashley is on the case.

Issues to be Resolved: He needs to let go of his need to dominate, she needs to learn to be cared for.

On Their Journey of Love: The two are on the run together when they are framed in an assassination attempt on the POTUS.

2. Then fill in the blanks to create your conventions. Even though some of these are the same, it is worth looking at them in the context of the conventions.

Experience of Falling In Love: Ashley and Daniel meet dramatically and start dating. They fall in love.
The Journey of Love: They are forced to go on the run when they are framed for an assassination attempt.

Relationship Set-up: Ashley takes Daniel’s help when a mission goes awry. He protects her and falls for her.

Issues each must Resolve: Daniel must change his need to be the dominant one in his relationships. Ashley must let herself be open to being cared for.

Separation: Daniel dumped at the altar when Ashley chooses a mission over him.

How will Comedy be Expressed: Through constant bickering when they are on the run, and situations that force them to depend on each other when they absolutely don’t want to.

• This reply was modified 9 months, 3 weeks ago by  Avi K.

[Avi K]

1. Name? Avi Kapurala

2. How many scripts you’ve written? 1 completed TV pilot.

3. What you hope to get out of the class? A great romcom script I can shop around and sell!

4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? I have an undergrad degree in engineering, a master's degree in journalism, and currently work in the IT industry! Trying to make my way back to writing after many years, but in a new form – screenwriting.

• This reply was modified 9 months, 3 weeks ago by  Avi K.

[Avi K]

Name: Avi Kapurala

I agree to the terms of this release form.

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

• This reply was modified 9 months, 3 weeks ago by  Avi K.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Scary-As-Hell-Scene

What I learned: how to add more layers to a horror scene and rewrite it for maximum effect.

Scene: Pursued/Deceptive (Lured into the trap).

Laura and Scott are making their way back to the house, unaware that they are being lured back by design.

Apprehension: They’re in a clearing and hear rustling behind them.

Scare: The rustling gets closer and a twig cracks. They are scared to death.

Release: A raccoon walks out of the bushes. They gasp…and then laugh in relief.

Shock: They hurry forward. Scott stumbles and they look down to see a tripwire.

Dread: They freeze in place, afraid, but nothing happens.

Anguish: They take a step forward and a cracking sound is heard. An arrow flies through the air and buries itself in Scott’s thigh.

Panic: More arrows fly as they try to rush forward. Some of them miss and some hit Scott. He’s injured and bleeding.

Anguish: Laura has been forced to leave Scott behind and rushes into the house.

Release: She sees a phone in the foyer.

Horror: She finds a box with her name next to the phone in the foyer. She opens it to find…Emma’s severed head.

Hysteria: She tries to run out of the house, but the door is locked. She turns and runs inside, but there’s another box in the living room. She runs out of there into another room and finds…another box.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Scares, Releases and Creepy Moments

What I learned doing this lesson is: It helped me add a scene to my outline.

EXT. WOODS – NIGHT

SCARES: Laura is taking careful steps through the woods along the route on her map. Suddenly, her flashlight flickers…and dies. She can’t see the map anymore. Suddenly, she hears a crackle and rustling a few feet away. She tenses. The rustling is closer. A hand falls on her shoulder! Laura sobs with fear.

RELEASES: It’s Emma! Laura is relieved and hugs Emma.

CREEPY MOMENTS: They bicker- Emma blames Laura for her husband’s death and for their predicament. She starts walking away when…a loud, metallic snap sounds. Emma stumbles briefly before appearing to regain her balance. Laura starts to lay a hand on her shoulder, but…Emma suddenly pitches forward and falls on her face. Something wet sprays onto Laura’s legs. It’s blood…Emma’s blood.

Laura shuffles along carefully, trying to keep her flashlight covered and shine light on her map at the same time. Suddenly, the flashlight flickers…then dies.

LAURA

Fuck, fuck, fuck! Not now!

She tries slapping the flashlight back to life, without luck. Suddenly, she hears crackling and rustling. She freezes, holding her breath and jumps when a hand falls on her shoulder.

EMMA

Laura!

LAURA

Emma? Holy shit, you scared me to death! I thought it was…

EMMA

I wish the bastard would show himself.

LAURA

I’d rather he doesn’t.

EMMA

How can you say that? Don’t you want the monster who killed Paul to be brought to justice? Or are you only scared for yourself?

LAURA

Stop it! You know I didn’t mean it that way! I know you’re hurting, but –

EMMA

Hurting? What the fuck would you know about it? My husband was tortured and died before I could save him. This is happening because of you. Whoever this psycho is…he wouldn’t be hunting us if it weren’t for you. So, spare me your bullshit, okay?

She starts walking away angrily.

LAURA

Emma! Emma! We need to stick together!

Emma doesn’t answer and takes a few more steps. Suddenly…SNAP! A loud metallic clang.

Emma lurches forward and appears to catch herself. Laura reaches out to help steady her, when she feels something wet spray on her legs. At the same time, she trips on something.

She bends down to see…blood on her clothes and the thing she stumbled on…Laura’s feet, which are bloody and…severed!

[Avi K]

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Avi Kapurala’s Level 3 Horror Emotions

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What I learned is: my outline has fewer scenes than I would like. I had to improvise.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ANGUISH: Laura is anguished to see Scott, with multiple arrows in his body and bleeding from his wounds. He will die without help, but there is no help to be had. Scott urges Laura to leave him and get to the house. He’s going to die anyway, but he wants her to get the fuck out of here.

PANIC: Laura panics as the door to the house slams shut behind her, trapping her inside and her favorite song starts playing on the PA system.

HORROR: As the music builds, a montage of the deaths of the group members begins playing on a screen. Laura is asked to open the boxes on the table in the room. She hesitates, but has no choice if she wants the door opened. She opens a box and sees Emma’s head, eyes wide open, staring at her. Laura screams and the box falls to the floor and the head rolls and bumps into her feet. She wants to vomit, but has only one option- continue. She opens the other boxes and in each one, sees the head of a friend of hers.

HYSTERIA: Adam dodges Laura’s knife thrusts and overpowers her. He pins her to the ground. Laura tries to gouge his face and eyes, but he grabs her wrists with one arm and repeatedly slaps her with the other. A cut opens up on her lip and there are tears in her eyes from the pain, but she keeps struggling. Adam stops hitting her and unsheathes his axe. Laura is hysterical, trying to get out from his hold. His grip tightens and the axe begins to swing down….

EXT. WOODS – NIGHT

Laura and Scott are crashing through the last stretch of woods, towards the clearing between them and the house. Suddenly, Scott, who is a few steps ahead of Laura, stumbles. There’s a whooshing noise, followed by an explosive grunt, as Scott falls to his knees. Laura catches up with him and screams in horror as she sees that…Scott’s chest is peppered with arrows.

LAURA

Scott! Noooooo!

She falls to the ground beside him and he crumples sideways into her lap.

LAURA

Scott! No! Please! You can’t do this to me! I need you!

Scott looks at her, his eyes shining with pain.

SCOTT

I…got…careless…I’m…sorry, Laura.

Laura clutches him to herself and sobs in anguish.

SCOTT

But…you have to…keep going. Leave…

Laura shakes her head, tears flowing.

LAURA

No! I can’t leave you! I’m going to get help!

Scott shakes his head.

SCOTT

Too…late. Go…

He pushes Laura away weakly. She stumbles to her feet and starts running toward sthe house.

She makes it across the clearing and rushes into the house. The door slams shut behind her. She whirls around, in complete panic, as her favorite song starts playing.

The PA system crackles.

MAN

I know you like presents, Laura. Look on the table.

Laura hesitates.

MAN

Do it! Or you die now. Scott’s heroism would have been in vain. Is that what you want?

Laura shuffles to the table in the middle of the room and opens the first box. It has Emma’s head in it. Laura screams and stumbles back.

MAN

Go on, open the others.

LAURA

Fuck you!

MAN

Do it!

Laura opens the two other boxes and yells in horror. They contain Jessica and Regan’s heads. Laura is crying.

MAN

They shouldn’t have come. They would have lived. But they came…and I had to punish them.

The voice shuts off and suddenly, someone speaks behind her.

MAN

And now..it’s just you and me.

Laura spins around and sees…Adam. He’s holding a bloody axe in one hand and a knife in the other.

MAN

Hello Laura. Miss me?

LAURA

It was fucking you? You killed all of them?

She lunges at Adam and he sidesteps her. Laughs.

ADAM

Good to see you too. Here…

He tosses the knife at her.

ADAM

Use that. Kill me. Go on. I’m right here.

Laura picks it up and rushes at him. He sidesteps her again and again. Then he reaches out and..knocks the knife out of her hands! He pushes her to the ground and straddles her.

ADAM

You had your chance. Now, I have mine. To punish you for leaving me. For cheating on me.

Laura is struggling hysterically to break free from his grip. She tries to gouge his face, his eyes, to no avail. Adam is too strong for her. She watches in horror as his axe swings up and slowly starts to descend.

ADAM

Now, it’s time to die. Don’t you wish you hadn’t left me?

[Avi K]

Avinash Kapurala’s Level 2 Horror Emotion

What I learned doing this assignment is: I need to flesh out my scenes a lot more! My outline is quite basic at the moment.

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

Fear – Emma is afraid when she gets a text ‘help’ from her husband Paul in the middle of the night, when he was supposed to be sleeping next to her.

Suspense – She searches the whole cabin, except the basement. She slowly goes in to the basement. There’s no one in the basement, but as she begins to leave, she gets another call from Paul’s phone, which is disconnected when she answers. The call is again followed by a text: under the rug.

Dread – Under the rug is a trapdoor. She goes down the trapdoor and into a tunnel. She begins walking and reaches a junction. While she hesitates, she gets another text: follow the way the finger points. She looks around, confused and her eyes fall on the ground. A severed finger is pointing the way at one of the paths. She’s scared out of her mind, but has no choice. She starts walking forward, crying.

Emma is asleep. Her phone starts ringing. She wakes up, startled. She sees her husband’s name on Caller ID. Confused, she looks next to her in the bed. Paul isn’t there. She answers the phone. The call disconnects. The phone dings with a text: Help.

She gets out of bed, panic-stricken and throwing a robe on, searches the house. There is no sign of Paul. Everyone else is asleep in their rooms.

She hesitates before the basement door and then descends into the basement. There’s no one there. She gets another text from Paul: rug.

She raises the rug and sees a trapdoor under it. She descends into a tunnel and begins walking. Soon reaches a junction. There’s something on the ground at the entrance to one path. It’s a severed finger, pointing the way. The finger has Paul’s wedding ring on it.

Emma vomits and collapses with shock.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Level 1 Emotion Scene

What I learned doing this assignment is: Incorporating the emotions helps flesh out the scenes better.

Apprehension: A black-gloved hand switches through feeds from a CCTV monitor.

Surprise: A hand clutches a bush. It’s dripping blood. Panicked breathing is heard and a blurry figure stumbles forward.

Shock: A tripwire comes into focus, but the figure doesn’t see it and walks right into it. A blade suddenly descends and impales her through the chest. The CCTV monitor watcher then beheads her with an axe.

FADE IN:

EXT. OUTDOORS- NIGHT

A tablet displays CCTV camera feeds. A black-gloved hand is holding the tablet and scrolls through the feeds and stops on one. It shows a woman walking through woods. She stumbles.

The figure holding the tablet starts walking. He’s out of focus and is holding what looks like an axe in the other hand.

EXT. WOODS – NIGHT

Panicked breathing is heard amidst the rustling of foliage. A hand falls on a tree trunk. A drop of blood drips from it. The hand lets go of the tree and a woman stumbles forward.

The woman starts moving forward, continuing to lurch and stumble.

Ahead, a trip wire between two trees comes into focus, at ankle-height. She doesn’t notice it and walks straight ahead. The trip-wire runs up one of the trees and disappears into its thick leaves. A rustling is heard and….

A blade descends from the tree just ahead and pierces her chest with an explosive impact.

The woman grunts and looks down at herself in shock. Blood starts spurting from the wound. She struggles, which only embeds the blade deeper into her.

Behind her, the axe-wielding figure appears and walks around. It looks into her eyes and lifts the axe. The woman whimpers and a trickle of blood appears at the corner of her mouth. It starts dripping onto her. The axe swings up and…

…down. It severs her head, which bounces onto the ground like a ball. The axe-wielding figure kicks the woman in the stomach, pushing her body off the blade. It falls back on to the ground.

He stoops and picks up her head. Its wide-open eyes stare at him in shock.

[Avi K]

Lesson 9: Making Your Outline Readable

What I learned is: I need to focus on being quick and not perfect. My outline took a little longer to complete because I Was trying to fill in scenes in between the ones I already had.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>INT. ROOM – NIGHT

A screen shows CCTV camera feeds. Each camera feed shows a gruesomely dismembered body. One camera shows a woman dragging herself, trying to desperately hurry.

EXT. WOODS – NIGHT

We see the woman in flesh. She’s bloodied, missing fingers and mortally wounded.

She keeps looking over her shoulder as if someone is behind her. She’s leaving a bloody trail behind her as she drags herself forward.

A pair of boot-clad feet walking unhurriedly, following the trail. A bloody axe swings by the boots.

The woman reaches a clump of bushes and hides behind them. She whimpers, trying to stifle her breath.

The feet reach the bushes and stop. The axe reaches out and pokes the bushes.

The woman starts crying silently. The axe rises. She wails and begins pleading for her life.

The axe descends. A scream followed by silence.

INT. ROOM – NIGHT

A folder with photos of people crossed out in red. The woman’s photo is the only one not crossed out. A bloody hand proceeds to cross it out.

The folder closes and is put away in a filing cabinet labeled ‘Deceased’. Next to it is a cabinet labeled ‘Prospective.’

INT. BOARDROOM – DAY

A well-dressed man and woman are seated across a table. Lawyers accompany them both. The lawyers are negotiating terms for a divorce.

The wife, Laura, wants a cabin in the woods which he used to cheat on her. The husband, Adam, doesn’t want to give it away. The wife threatens him with custody of their children. He has to reluctantly accept.

INT. RESTAURANT – DAY

Laura is celebrating her divorce with her friends. They are toasting her freedom.

EXT. STREET – DAY

Someone is photographing the friends from a car parked outside.

EXT. STREET – DAY

Laura and her friend leave the restaurant. She wanders into a street fair. Walks around aimlessly. Suddenly, an old woman with a sign that says ‘The Stars Speak’, reaches out and grabs her arm. Startled, Laura tries to free herself, but the woman insists she listen to what she has to say. She warns Laura to not go on the journey she’s planning. Her life is in danger.

Laura angrily tells the women that she’s not a tourist who can be conned, and walks away. A little shaken.

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

Laura is with her boyfriend, Scott. They were introduced by her friend Emma during her divorce proceedings.

Laura tells Scott that she’s going to the cabin and have it appraised for sale. She only insisted on it in the divorce to punish Adam for his infidelity. Selling it will give her closure. She remembers the old woman’s warning and tells him about it. She’s not sure what she should do.

Scott jokingly suggests he accompany her as her bodyguard. She turns him down and insists she refuses to let a con-artist spook her. She survived the divorce and this is trivial. She’ll be in and out in less than a day.

EXT. SCENIC HIGHWAY – DAY

Laura is driving.

EXT. GAS STATION – DAY

Laura pulls into a gas station and parks in the parking lot. A little boy in car parked next to her makes rude faces at her. He’s alone in the car. She looks around and sees a couple inside the gas station. She mock-threatens the little boy that she’s going in there to tell them about him. He gets angry and flips her off. Taken aback, Laura goes to the restroom.

INT. RESTROOM – DAY

Laura washes her face in the grimy sink and studies her face in the mirror. She wants to feel relieved, but is still coming to grips with her freedom. She can’t believe it’s over.

EXT. RESTROOM – DAY

Laura is shocked to find a note tucked into her windshield that says ‘You’ll die’. She looks around angrily for the little boy, but the car parked next to hers is gone. She tosses the note away and angrily gets into her car.

EXT. CAR – DAY

Laura is back on the highway and the woods on either side are more beautiful, but more isolated. Hers is the only car on the road now.

INT. ROOM – DAY

An unseen hand is pasting photos of Laura and her friends, taken at the restaurant, in a folder. It then starts writing their names and a brief bio next to each photo.

EXT. CABIN – DAY

Laura is outside a picturesque cabin in the woods, next to a lake. She’s resting against her car and sipping coffee. Keeps checking her watch.

She finally pulls out her phone and attempts to make a call. No signal.

She walks around trying to get a signal, and stumbles upon a rough shack, with smoke rising from a recent campfire, but no one around.

She walks around the shack, calling to see if anyone’s there, but no one replies.

She gets two bars behind the shack and a bunch of texts and voicemails. The voicemails are from ‘Kevin’, who wants to let her know that he’s trying to reach her to tell her that his car broke down suddenly on the way and he can’t make it to the cabin for the appraisal that afternoon. He’s got a tow-truck, but the garage thinks it might take a day or so to fix the problem. He can come meet her in a day.

She hangs up, frustrated and tries to call Kevin, but her signal cuts out. Suddenly, a hand falls on her shoulder, making her jump.

An old man with a shotgun is standing behind her and he wants her to get out of ‘his patch.’

She retorts angrily that she owns the property and he’d better clear out quick. The man is taken aback and screams at her that not even the ‘Devil in the Woods’ who takes souls has messed with him. Who the hell is she? He threatens to curse her and unleash the Devil on her if she messes with him.

Laura threatens to call the police on him and quickly gets away. She looks back and sees him making some strange gestures with his hand.

EXT. CABIN – DAY

Laura jumps into her car and starts the engine, which coughs and dies. She tries several times but the car doesn’t start.

She pounds the steering wheel and yells in frustration. She’s trapped!

She looks hesitantly at the cabin and takes a deep breath. Gathers her bag and gets out of the car. Walks towards the cabin and enters.

INT. CABIN – DAY

The cabin looks peaceful in the late-afternoon light. She explores the rooms. It’s a pretty place, with crickets and frogs punctuating the silence.

Takes a deep breath and checks her phone. There’s one bar. She walks around the cabin and sees a phone near a window by the lake. She hurriedly calls Scott, but he doesn’t pick up. She then tries Emma, who picks up. She tells her the problem. Emma suggests she stay there, calm her nerves and relax. She needs fresh air after the rough few months she’s been through.

Laura suddenly sees a figure across the lake, looking straight at her. It’s wearing a devil’s helmet and holding an axe. She screams.

Emma asks if she’s okay and Laura tries to tell her what she saw, but the figure is gone. She tells Emma that it’s probably just her nerves as she said, but she’ll be glad to get the hell out of here once she figures out how to get her car fixed.

She flips through the phonebook after hanging up and calls a garage that’s listed.

The garage tells her that their truck driver’s out sick and the earliest they can get someone to her is probably afternoon or evening the next day. Definitely not tonight.

She hangs up in frustration and decides to take a shower. She rummages around the cabin for towels and such.

INT. SHOWER – NIGHT

Laura takes a hot shower that steams up the bathroom.

She gets out of the shower, naked, drying her hair with the towel.

She tries to get out of the shower, but the door is closed and locked. She had left it ajar.

She panics trying to unlock the door. It suddenly opens.

INT. CABIN – NIGHT

She runs downstairs and calls Emma again to tell her what happened. Emma tells her that the door was probably just jammed and it’s just her nerves. She’s exhausted and should get some sleep.

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

Laura is asleep. Soft voices are heard. She wakes up with a start and tries to figure out where the voices are coming from. She gets out of bed to locate the source, but the door is locked. She frantically tries to get it open, but it won’t. The voices get louder. She starts screaming.

The door suddenly opens and she falls on the ground.

INT. BATHROOM – NIGHT

The lights are on in the bathroom. She goes in warily. There’s writing on the mirror: You’ll Die. She screams and runs out.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Laura runs downstairs and turns on the living room lights, but there’s no one there. The voices stop.

EXT. HOME – NIGHT

She runs out of the cabin into the darkness and jumps into her car, slams the door and huddles inside. Keeps watch and eventually falls asleep.

EXT. HOME – DAY

Laura is woken up by someone knocking on her window. She screams and then sees that it’s Emma, who’s waving a coffee cup at her.

She stumbles out of the car and hugs Emma, crying. Then sees that all her girlfriends are there, with their partners. Scott came too.

Emma tells her that they wanted to make this a fun weekend because Laura’s been stressing out so much.

Laura tries convincing her that there were strange events in the cabin last night, but Emma keeps telling her that it’s her nerves.

INT. CABIN – DAY

The group searches the cabin and finds no traces of any unusual activity. All the doors work normally, there are no voices and no one visible anywhere around. They try to convince Laura that she was imagining things, being alone in a desolate place, being stressed, etc. She eventually accepts they could be right.

The group wants to have a fun weekend and the first thing they do is go swimming in the lake.

EXT. LAKE – DAY

The group has a blast swimming.

EXT. CABIN – DAY

They return to the cabin and find a note on the door. It’s an invite to dinner and game night from a neighbor in an estate nearby.

Laura’s not sure about the invite, but the group wants to go as there’s nothing else to do in this godforsaken place and there’s almost no food in the house and they’re starving. The sound of dinner and a fun game night sounds perfect. They override Laura’s objections and vote to go.

EXT. CABIN – DAY

The members of the group break off during the day and go off to explore the beautiful surroundings. One couple goes off on a photoshoot, another goes off to have sex in the woods, etc. Someone finds a grocer’s number in the phone book and calls to order some groceries.

INT. CABIN – DAY

The grocery order arrives and amidst chit chat, the delivery boy tells them that estate they’ve been invited to has woods that have a strange reputation. He wouldn’t go and they shouldn’t.

The group laughs off his words and he leaves.

INT. ROOM – DAY

A hand writes ‘Arrived’ against the photos of each member of the group in the folder.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

The gang arrives at the neighboring estate for dinner. The gate opens automatically and closes behind them as they drive in. There are thick woods all around.

EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT

The house is a fancy, glass-and-steel building in the middle of the woods surrounding it. They ring the doorbell and the door opens automatically.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

They walk in and the door closes behind them. A few nervous chuckles.

A screen lights up as they enter and a man and woman greet them. They tell the group that they’re their hosts for the night and have decided to reveal themselves physically only after the game starts. It’s more fun that way, trust them. Enjoy a delicious meal in the meantime.

After the screen switches off, a robotic voice declares that he’s their concierge for the night and will provide them with a fun experience.

The dinner is already served and waiting and the group take their places as per their name tags. They’re surprised about how the hosts know their names, but the robot concierge’s answer is evasive.

Everyone gets fortune cookies after the meal with weird fortunes that make them chuckle.

Paul (Emma’s husband) gets a fortune that simply says: Sarah – confess. He’s startled by this and becomes uncomfortable. He suggests they leave and drags Emma away too, as the others follow in bewilderment, but the front door is locked and will not open.

The robot concierge tells them that since dinner is done, game night has begun and the door will only open once the proper clues are solved. The scavenger hunt is on.

INT. ROOM – NIGHT

A figure seated at a CCTV monitor is watching the group. The monitor shows all the rooms in the house and an option for ‘Grounds’.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

The group is divided into two. They are all provided with smart watches and earpieces that will provide them instructions and are pitted against each other for the scavenger hunt. The first clue is provided.

Paul’s earpiece relays a message: I know about Sarah. You have 1 hour. Confess, or pay the price.

The two groups start hunting for the next clues around the house. Paul discreetly detaches himself from the group. His real intention is to find the hosts, who he thinks are blackmailing him.

The CCTV monitor shows Paul searching the house.

The group don’t notice that Paul is missing and they continue with the game and find the clue that will unlock the front door for them and allow them to go into the grounds.

EXT. HOME – NIGHT

The group rushes to their cars, but they won’t start. They’re trapped.

A voice admonishes them for trying to abandon the game and tells them that they must finish it. Their prize is not far away.

INT. BARN – NIGHT

The clues lead them to a barn in the woods around the house, where to their shock, they discover a bloodied Paul. He’s handcuffed and has a noose around his neck. A sign on his chest says – I’m Paul and I’m a cheat. I need to confess.

The group rushes to free Paul, but they’re unable to take off his cuffs. A voice announces that Paul has something to tell his wife and the group. If he doesn’t, he will pay the price. There are three choices- his wife Emma can save him by volunteering to undergo his punishment, or they can try to find the key to his handcuffs and free him, or he can confess.

The group starts searching for the handcuffs key and his wife Emma frantically tries to get him to confess, but he’s hesitating. The voice tells them that they have x minutes. A countdown begins. The group is hysterical, Emma is screaming, Paul finally starts to confess, but too late. A trapdoor opens under his feet and he falls, his neck breaks and he dies.

The hysterical group is told that Paul cheated on his wife with a woman called Sarah and abandoned Sarah when she got pregnant. He was punished for what he did.

They are then told that they have all cheated someone in their lives and need to come clean, or be punished like Paul. Their choice is – there are traps around the woods. They can risk the danger for a chance to escape, or come clean.

The group is hysterical, everyone starts arguing and blaming each other for landing them in this situation. They choose escape. They’re provided with maps of the estate, walkie-talkies and are given two hours. If they’re still on the estate by then, they will all die.

INT. BARN – NIGHT

Sandy rushes out of the door and triggers a tripwire. She’s cut in half. The group is horrified and unwilling to proceed. But the countdown is on and they drag themselves on.

INT. ROOM – NIGHT

The CCTV monitor shows various parts of the grounds. A map of the estate has blinking green lights on it. One light is red and shows – Trap 1, Sprung.

A hand crosses out Sandy’s picture in the folder.

EXT. WOODS – NIGHT

The group runs into thorny bushes, barb wire and other painful obstacles. They’re bloodied and battered.

Emma is mad with anger at Paul’s death and pushes ahead of the others, determined to escape and go to the police. But she falls into a bear trap which slices her legs off.

Her screams draw the group to her, but they can’t do anything for her and are forced to abandon her to bleed to death.

A voice announces that she helped Laura cheat on her husband by introducing her to Scott, so she paid the price.

INT. ROOM – NIGHT

The CCTV monitor shows various parts of the grounds. A map of the estate has blinking green lights on it. A second light is red and shows – Trap 2, Sprung.

A hand crosses out Emma’s picture in the folder.

EXT. WOODS – NIGHT

An announcement: their time is up. There is no escape now.

The group decide to split up to give themselves better odds of finding a way out of the woods.

Each one of them is taunted about the people they have cheated. They’re being driven mad with fear and desperation.

Jessica falls into a snare and is beheaded by the killer. Her beheading is live-streamed on the other’s smart watches.

Frantic with fear, the others use their walkie-talkies and plan to ambush the killer.

They let Laura be spotted and when the killer arrives, she person stabs him. They leave the killer for dead and try to rush back to the house to regroup and get their cars working or find a phone.

Vince falls into a pit and is beheaded on a live stream. The killer is not dead!

Regan springs another trap and is beheaded on a live stream.

Laura and Scott continue to find their way back to the house.

Scott triggers a crossbow and is wounded badly. He forces Laura to leave him behind and get to the house.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Laura gets to the house where the killer confronts her. He’s her ex-husband, Adam. Adam tells Laura how the cabin and the house are connected by a secret passage and how uses tha cabin and passage to drive his victims mad. He overpowers Laura, but before he can kill her, Scott reappears and incapacitates the killer to save Laura.

Scott sacrifices himself and burns the house down with him and Adam in it. Laura escapes to the cabin using the secret passage and calls for help.

EXT. ROOM – DAY

A figure posts an ad on a website board: have you been cheated by anyone in your life? You will be paid for your story.

EXT. STREET – DAY

Laura is photographed.

INT. ROOM – DAY

Adam crosses out everyone in the group except Laura, who is still alive.

He sticks her photo in a new kill folder.

[Avi K]

What I learned doing this assignment is : it’s tough to come up with profiles for many characters!

Character Profile – Laura

1. Role: Carrier/Survivor/Fighter

2. Traits: Caring. Feisty.

3. Fears:

4. Wants/Needs: To have a caring partner/Not to be suffocated.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: Cares for people in her life/Unfairly targeted.

6. How they react under stress: Finds a way out. Challenges herself to be bold.

7. Relationship with other characters: Friendly, involved.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

1. Character Intro: Wins a tough divorce negotiation.

2. Denial: Tries to explain away the creepy events in the cabin after she starts staying there.

3. Their reaction at first horror: Vows to bring the killer to justice.

4. Relation to group after first horror: Leads the effort to escape.

5. How they fight back: Strategy /trapping the killer.

6. End Point: Escapes the killer…for now.

7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? You have to be mentally strong to outwit the killer.

Character Profile – Scott

1. Role: Rescuer/Fighter

2. Traits: Bold. Resourceful.

3. Fears:

4. Wants/Needs: To get to know Laura better/To keep her safe.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: Caring/Brave, willing to sacrifice himself for the woman he loves.

6. How they react under stress: Resourceful.

7. Relationship with other characters: Friendly, meeting most of them for the first time.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

1. Character Intro: Laura walks into his workshop in the little town near the cabin.

2. Denial: Disbelieves the stories about the neighboring estate and takes Laura’s experiences in the cabin lightly.

3. Their reaction at first horror: Tries to find a way to escape.

4. Relation to group after first horror: Co-leads the effort to escape.

5. How they fight back: Strategy /trapping the killer.

6. End Point: Sacrifices himself to kill the villain.

7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? You can’t kill this villain easily.

Character Profile – Emma

1. Role: Innocent/Fighter

2. Traits: Deeply caring. Funny. Easy-going. Fun-loving.

3. Fears: Snakes, bugs, being alone in the dark.

4. Wants/Needs: To not be anywhere near the woods/To help Laura overcome her bad marriage.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: Caring, fun / good friend.

6. How they react under stress: Overwhelmed.

7. Relationship with other characters: Friendly.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

1. Character Intro: Celebrates Laura’s divorce with her.

2. Denial: thinks Laura is pulling her leg.

3. Their reaction at first horror: screaming wreck.

4. Relation to group after first horror: works with the group to escape.

5. How they fight back: Tries to escape.

6. End Point: Dies trying to escape.

7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? The villain is ruthless.

Character Profile – Paul

1. Role: Sacrificial lamb/Love interest.

2. Traits: Funny. Laid-back. Doting husband.

3. Fears:

4. Wants/Needs: To be on his couch watching sports/To support his wife.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: Caring, fun / good husband.

6. How they react under stress: Defiant.

7. Relationship with other characters: Friendly.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

1. Character Intro: Accompanies Emma to the cabin to keep Laura company.

2. Denial: thinks the isolation is playing tricks on Laura and Emma.

3. Their reaction at first horror: defiant.

4. Relation to group after first horror: first to die.

5. How they fight back: urges Emma and the others to ‘kill the bastard’.

6. End Point: Dies as a punishment to Emma.

7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? The villain is ruthless.

Character Profile – Sandy

1. Role: Introvert/Loner/weak.

2. Traits: nerdy, dislikes stressful situations.

3. Fears:

4. Wants/Needs: To be adventurous/To not be part of large groups.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: Always a little lost / innocent.

6. How they react under stress: crumbles.

7. Relationship with other characters: Friendly/slightly introverted because everyone else is a couple and she’s single.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

1. Character Intro: Accompanies Emma to the cabin to keep Laura company.

2. Denial: thinks this is a prank.

3. Their reaction at first horror: screams.

4. Relation to group after first horror: loses it.

5. How they fight back:

6. End Point: brutally killed. Cut in half.

7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Tread carefully as there are traps.

Character Profile – Regan

1. Role: Complainer/agitator.

2. Traits: aggressive, confrontational, argumentative.

3. Fears:

4. Wants/Needs: Everything to be perfect/everything to be about her (she’s the most important).

5. Likability / Rooting factors: None.

6. How they react under stress: complains.

7. Relationship with other characters: Friendly, but edgy and slightly confrontational at times.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

1. Character Intro: Accompanies Emma to the cabin to keep Laura company.

2. Denial: thinks this is a prank.

3. Their reaction at first horror: screams.

4. Relation to group after first horror: turn on each other.

5. How they fight back: tries to escape.

6. End Point: brutally killed. Falls into a bear trap and gets beheaded.

7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Tread carefully as there are traps.

Character Profile – Jessica

1. Role: Rebel, rule-breaker.

2. Traits: disciplinarian, skeptical, bossy.

3. Fears:

4. Wants/Needs: no rules/discipline.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: loyal to friends.

6. How they react under stress: fight back.

7. Relationship with other characters: Friendly, but slightly confrontational at times.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

1. Character Intro: Accompanies Emma to the cabin to keep Laura company.

2. Denial: thinks this is a prank.

3. Their reaction at first horror: run.

4. Relation to group after first horror: argues.

5. How they fight back: tries to escape.

6. End Point: brutally killed.

7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Tread carefully as there are traps.

Character Profile – David (Regan’s bf)

1. Role: Out of control, obnoxious.

2. Traits: complaining, bossy.

3. Fears:

4. Wants/Needs: attention/kick in the pants.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: None.

6. How they react under stress: accuse.

7. Relationship with other characters: poor.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

1. Character Intro: Accompanies Regan to the cabin for a photoshoot in the woods.

2. Denial: thinks this is a prank.

3. Their reaction at first horror: run.

4. Relation to group after first horror: accuse.

5. How they fight back: tries to escape.

6. End Point: brutally killed.

7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Tread carefully as there are traps.

Character Profile – Vince (Jessica’s bf)

1. Role: lover

2. Traits: funny, businesslike, can be aloof at times.

3. Fears:

4. Wants/Needs: to be in charge/discipline.

5. Likability / Rooting factors: brave / funny

6. How they react under stress: fight back.

7. Relationship with other characters: Friendly, but slightly aloof at times.

B. What is their Character Journey for this story?

1. Character Intro: Accompanies Jessica to the cabin for a weekend of sex.

2. Denial: thinks this is a prank.

3. Their reaction at first horror: escape.

4. Relation to group after first horror: lead.

5. How they fight back: tries to escape.

6. End Point: brutally killed.

7. What
insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Tread carefully
as there are traps.

[Avi K]

Hello,

My name is Avi.

I’ve written one TV pilot and am looking forward to learning about writing smart horror so I can work on a feature idea.

[Avi K]

MONSTER REVEAL TRACK:

What I learned Doing this Assignment is: Figuring out the reveals helped flesh out my villain a little more.

1. DEMAND: An axe swings down on a woman pleading for her life.

REVEAL: a masked figure carries the body and head back and throws it onto a pile of dismembered bodies and burns them. Who is she? Who is the killer?

2. DEMAND: We then see a kill-board with photos, names and bios of people who are ‘x’ed out in red. The woman who died is the only one without an x. The killer then x’s her out.

REVEAL: The killer then catalogs the photos in a ledger in a filing cabinet labeled ‘Deceased’. We see another cabinet labeled ‘Prospective’.

3. DEMAND: Laura and her friends are photographed while they’re celebrating her divorce.

REVEAL: The photographs are tacked on a wall by a hand whose owner we don’t see. The hand then starts writing out names and bios of the group.

4. DEMAND: Laura goes to the cabin she won in the divorce and starts experiencing creepy stuff- doors being locked with her inside the room, then unlocking. Strange voices at night that turn off when she wakes up, lights going on and off on their own, the TV turning on suddenly in the middle of the night. She thinks she’s going crazy.

REVEAL: we see a figure from behind seated at a CCTV screen/console, watching Laura and all the rooms of the house. The figure flicks various switches on and off, corresponding with Laura’s experiences.

5. DEMAND: Laura calls her friend Emma, who insists Laura needs some fun then goes to the cabin herself with their other gal-pals Sandy, Jessica and Regan.

REVEAL: A hand writes ‘arriving’ against the photos he has of Sandy, Jessica and Regan.

6. DEMAND: The women are talking about their BF’s husbands, etc.

REVEAL: we see the men they’re discussing, being followed/photographed.

7. DEMAND: Laura and her friends get an invite to a fancy masquerade and are warned by the local grocer against going.

REVEAL:

8. DEMAND: Laura and the gang go to the dinner in dressy outfits and masks.

REVEAL: The gate opens and locks automatically behind them. A masked figure is at the controls in a dark room.

9. DEMAND: The women are served drinks by a butler who is also in masquerade.

10. DEMAND: They wake up, tied to chairs in separate rooms. Each one of then has a note on their chest- I cheated _blank_. They have large screens before them.

REVEAL: a distorted voice tells them that they’re all cheats who deserve to be punished for what they did.

11. DEMAND: The voice picks Emma to be punished first, because she encouraged her friend to cheat on her husband with another man.

REVEAL: Emma’s husband Paul is shown standing on a chair, bleeding, mutilated and with a noose around his neck. A countdown begins and Emma is released and given the chance of freeing him. She locates him almost towards the end of the countdown and fails to cut his noose. He dies.

12. DEMAND: Emma is then given the choice to join her husband, or try to save her life. She tries to escape.

REVEAL: Emma’s frantic trail across the estate is streamed for the others to watch, and she eventually falls into a snare. An axe then swings and beheads her.

13. DEMAND: The group is then shown three other people who are also prisoners in the house – Vince, Jessica’s BF, Scott, Laura’s new fiancée and David, Regan’s BF.

REVEAL: their fate is tied to their partners.

14. DEMAND: All the prisoners are released from their restraints and allowed to emerge into a large room. They are told they have an hour to decide who dies next, or try to escape. Provided with two maps.

REVEAL: After they decide to escape, Sandy gets hysterical and tries running away blindly. She stumbles against a tripwire and is killed instantly. The killer’s CCTV monitor shows ‘Snare 1- sprung’ and there are 7 more dotted along the escape routes on the maps. There is one route which is clear, but isn’t shown on the map. The killer is setting them up for failure.

15. DEMAND: After the hour elapses, the killer announces that they will all die now.

REVEAL: drones start tracking the group.

16. DEMAND: More people die.

REVEAL: who they cheated.

17. DEMAND: The unmarked escape route is a tunnel between Laura’s cabin and the estate.

REVEAL: the killer’s face is revealed. It’s her ex-husband.

18. DEMAND: The killer is dead.

REVEAL: An ad runs in the newspaper asking for stories from victims of cheating. He’s alive and scouting for his next victims, and planning revenge against Laura.

[Avi K]

What I learned doing this assignment is: I keep needing to make changes to my outline in order to ensure there’s conitnuity among the various tracks – that the characters dying, the horror situations, etc., all line up as I keep adding pieces in subsequent lessons.

ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR

• Atmosphere of Evil established: A killer beheads a woman with an axe.

Horror Situation- Impending Doom: A CCTV collage showing bodies littered around an estate and inside a house. Some died, trapped in bear traps, some have been cut in half, some have limbs missing, etc.

Reaction-Escape: A woman shown dragging herself, leaving a bloody trail.

Horror Situation – Attacked or chased: A figure is slowly walking, following the bloody trail she’s leaving behind, cradling an axe. Only seen up to shoulder height.

Reaction- Hide: She crawls behind a thick clump of bushes and tries to conceal herself.

Horror Situation – Face to Face with the monster: The figure follows the bloody trail to her hiding spot and confronts her. It is wearing a cosplay helmet with devil’s horns.

Reaction – Bargain: She tries to bargain with the killer.

Horror Situation – Face to Face with the monster: The killer beheads her.

• Connect with the characters: After a bitter divorce, Laura celebrates with her friends.

Horror Situation- Impending Doom: Someone is taking photographs of Laura and her friends as they celebrate.

Horror Situation – Walking into a trap: Laura goes to a cabin in the woods she won in the divorce to unwind for a few days.

• The characters are warned not to do it: Adam warns her after the divorce negotiations that she shouldn’t celebrate too soon.

• Denial of Horror: Laura defiantly answers that her life is hers and she’ll in fact celebrate by going to the cabin Adam didn’t want her to have.

• Safety taken away: Laura experiences strange events in the cabin.

Horror Situation – Impending Doom: A note left on her windshield during a rest stop while she’s driving to the cabin – you will die.

Reaction – Denial: Laura thinks it’s a prank by a kid whose parents are also at the rest stop.

Horror Situation – Impending Doom: doors locked on their own, voices at night, strange notes scrawled on mirrors.

Reaction – Denial: Laura and her friends think it’s her stress making her imagine things.

• Monster: The nature of the beast: Laura and her friends drugged and abducted.

Horror situation – Walking into a trap: Laura’s friends decide to surprise her to lift her spirits. They land up at the cabin.

Horror Situation – Being lured into danger: The group is sent a mysterious invitation to dinner from a neighbor Laura has never seen.

• The characters are warned not to do it: The grocery store owner, who does a supply run to the cabin tells them that strange stuff is said to happen in the estate they got invited to dinner to. There are rumors that people disappeared there, so they shouldn’t go.

• Denial of Horror: The group overrides the grocery store owner’s advice and Laura’s objections and decides to go to dinner- the invite seems fun.

Horror Situation- Kidnapped: The group’s dinner is drugged and they pass out.

Horror Situation – Face to face with the monster: The killer in the devil’s helmet ties them all up in separate rooms while they are woozy and hazy.

Reaction – Denial: They think they’re hallucinating.

ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN

• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: Laura and the group are trapped in an unknown home in dark rooms.

Horror Situation – Cannot See: The rooms they are imprisoned in are pitch dark and they cannot hear anything except the ticking of a clock.

Horror Situation- Shackled: They’re all sitting in chairs they’re tied to.

Reaction – Try to Solve it: They try yelling out to each other, breaking their ties, breaking the chairs they’re bound to, etc.

• One of us killed: Paul is brutally killed by the masked figure while everyone is forced to watch on screens.

Horror Situation – See another killed: The killer turns a spotlight on each member of the group and accuses each one of them of cheating someone (boyfriend, husband, business partner, etc.). Emma – he accuses her of encouraging Laura to cheat on her husband by introducing her to Scott and then encouraging her to leave her husband for Scott. He then kills her husband Paul and gives her the choice of killing herself or escaping. When she escapes, she falls into a bear trap that slices off her leg, then other traps that leave her bloodied and dying. He then beheads her. All of this is streamed for the others to watch.

Reaction –

Character Death: Paul, Emma’s husband, is tortured first and then hung to death (Emma fails to cut the noose).

Why: The monster made the decision – He’s Emma’s husband and she needs to be punished for encouraging Laura to see another man (Scott) even while she’s married (because she needs a change).

How: Surprised / blindsided

Character Death: Emma is beheaded by the killer.

Why: She encouraged Laura to leave Adam and introduced her to Scott. He gives her the choice to kill herself or escape after Paul is killed. She chooses escape, but fails.

How: Escape attempt takes them into it

MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought! After watching Emma be killed, the group is given a choice – nominate the next person to die, or try escaping. Their fate is in their hands. They are allowed to be together in a large room and given two maps with all possible escape routes from the estate marked. They have an hour, and if they’re still on the estate by then, they all die.

Horror Situation – Dilemma: Who to save: The group has an hour to pick who will die next for their sins, or decide to escape.

Reaction – Denial: The group thinks that what’s happening is an elaborate prank by someone. Paul and Emma are not really dead.

Horror Situation – Internal conflict in the group: Disagreement and conflicts break out in the group on their course of action. The majority opinion is that they can break out of the house.

Reaction – Escape: They split up into groups and start exploring the routes.

Horror Situation – walking into a trap: The group presses on.

Horror Situation – Injured, wounded, or debilitated: They run into barb wire fences, thorny bushes. They are all bloodied and wounded. There seems to be no way off the estate.

Character Death: Sandy is cut in half.

Why: It increases the horror.

How: Attempt something that fails

Reaction – panic: they all come back to a central spot to regroup and start fighting amongst themselves.

Horror Situation – Threatened: They are warned over the PA system that they failed, so now they will all die.

Reaction – Internal conflict in the group: They start blaming each other for the situation and bickering.

• Terrorized: They hear the whir of a drone. A camera focuses on them. A countdown starts on the PA system.

Reaction – panic: They flee the spot.

Character Death: David gets an arrow through the throat.

Why: Moral reason- he cheated on Regan and then betrays her.

How: Surprised / blindsided

Reaction – Escape: The group rushes to escape.

• Full pursuit by the killer: The killer is now actively hunting the group.

ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR

Reaction – Hide: They hide and plot to kill the killer.

• Fight to the death: The group members who are together (Vince, Jessica, Regan, Scott, Laura) try to fashion weapons (pitchforks from the barns, rocks, clubs, etc.) and traps (nooses, snares of some sort) and try to ambush the killer by letting one of them be spotted by a drone.

Horror Situation – Face to face with the monster: The group members succeed in luring and wounding the killer. They believe they’ve killed him.

Reaction – Escape: They compare the maps and see that there are actually only _x_ # of escape routes shown on it, whereas the killer mentioned x+1 ways out of the estate. They superimpose the maps and discover that there’s a tunnel running from the house on the estate to Laura’s cabin!

· The thrilling escape from death: The killer is stabbed by Laura and left for dead. The group tries to escape…

Horror Situation – Attacked or chased: The group starts heading back to the house as the countdown begins again on the PA system. The killer is not dead and they are still being chased. A drone catches up with them.

Character Death: Jessica is killed. The killer attacks them and gets Laura.

Why: Moral reason- she is secretly a dominatrix who aids rich men cheat on their wives?

How: Escape attempt takes them into it

Reaction – Fight: Laura stabs the killer. They believe he’s dead.

• Hysteria: They cannot find the route back to the house and fall into more traps.

Horror Situation – Injured, wounded, or debilitated: One person is impaled on spikes in an animal pit.

Character Death: Vince is impaled and seen by a drone. The killer then beheads him.

Why: Moral reason- he cheated his business partner.

How: Escape attempt takes them into it

Reaction – Escape: They keep trying to run back towards the house.

• Death returns to take one or more: The killer is not dead!

Horror Situation – Attacked or chased: The killer is still hunting them and has just killed Vince, which he announces on the PA system.

Character Death: Regan is beheaded after being maimed by a bear trap.

Why: Moral reason- she cheated on her now-dead BF David.

How: Escape attempt takes them into it

Character Death: Scott is incapacitated by arrows and forces Laura to leave him behind.

Why: Moral reason- he is the reason Laura left Adam.

How: Escape attempt takes them into it

Reaction – Escape: Laura keeps running to the house.

Horror Situation – Dilemma: The killer announces that he will show Laura the way back, if she believes she can end it by killing him.

Reaction – Fight: Laura goes back to the house and fights the killer with ______ weapon, but he overpowers her.

• Resolution: Scott is still alive and turns up to rescue her. He shoves her into the tunnel and closes the door, setting the house on fire with him in it. Scott dies, is the killer dead too?

Horror Situation – Lured: Laura is back in the house.

Reaction – Fight: Scott incapacitates the killer and locks Laura out.

Horror Situation- No escape or their escape route has been cut off: Scott sacrifices himself.

The killer is dead.

Character Death: Scott is burned to death with the killer.

Why: Self-sacrifice.

How: Escape attempt takes them into it.

Cliffhanger: An ad in the newspaper several days later – have you been cheated by anyone in your life? Will pay for the story.

Laura is being photographed.

[Avi K]

What I learned doing this assignment is: My outline keeps getting tweaked as we proceed with the lessons.

ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR

• Atmosphere of Evil established: A killer beheads a woman with an axe.

Horror Situation- Impending Doom: A CCTV collage showing bodies littered around an estate and inside a house. Some died, trapped in bear traps, some have been cut in half, some have limbs missing, etc.

Reaction-Escape: A woman shown dragging herself, leaving a bloody trail.

Horror Situation – Attacked or chased: A figure is slowly walking, following the bloody trail she’s leaving behind, cradling an axe. Only seen up to shoulder height.

Reaction- Hide: She crawls behind a thick clump of bushes and tries to conceal herself.

Horror Situation – Face to Face with the monster: The figure follows the bloody trail to her hiding spot and confronts her. It is wearing a cosplay helmet with devil’s horns.

Reaction – Bargain: She tries to bargain with the killer.

Horror Situation – Face to Face with the monster: The killer beheads her.

• Connect with the characters: After a bitter divorce, Laura celebrates with her friends.

Horror Situation- Impending Doom: Someone is taking photographs of Laura and her friends as they celebrate.

Horror Situation – Walking into a trap: Laura goes to a cabin in the woods she won in the divorce to unwind for a few days.

• The characters are warned not to do it: Adam warns her after the divorce negotiations that she shouldn’t celebrate too soon.

• Denial of Horror: Laura defiantly answers that her life is hers and she’ll in fact celebrate by going to the cabin Adam didn’t want her to have.

• Safety taken away: Laura experiences strange events in the cabin.

Horror Situation – Impending Doom: A note left on her windshield during a rest stop while she’s driving to the cabin – you will die.

Reaction – Denial: Laura thinks it’s a prank by a kid whose parents are also at the rest stop.

Horror Situation – Impending Doom: doors locked on their own, voices at night, strange notes scrawled on mirrors.

Reaction – Denial: Laura and her friends think it’s her stress making her imagine things.

• Monster: The nature of the beast: Laura and her friends drugged and abducted.

Horror situation – Walking into a trap: Laura’s friends decide to surprise her to lift her spirits. They land up at the cabin.

Horror Situation – Being lured into danger: The group is sent a mysterious invitation to dinner from a neighbor Laura has never seen.

• The characters are warned not to do it: The grocery store owner, who does a supply run to the cabin tells them that strange stuff is said to happen in the estate they got invited to dinner to. There are rumors that people disappeared there, so they shouldn’t go.

• Denial of Horror: The group overrides the grocery store owner’s advice and Laura’s objections and decides to go to dinner- the invite seems fun.

Horror Situation- Kidnapped: The group’s dinner is drugged and they pass out.

Horror Situation – Face to face with the monster: The killer in the devil’s helmet ties them all up in separate rooms while they are woozy and hazy.

Reaction – Denial: They think they’re hallucinating.

ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN

• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: Laura and the group are trapped in an unknown home in dark rooms.

Horror Situation – Cannot See: The rooms they are imprisoned in are pitch dark and they cannot hear anything except the ticking of a clock.

Horror Situation- Shackled: They’re all sitting in chairs they’re tied to.

Reaction – Try to Solve it: They try yelling out to each other, breaking their ties, breaking the chairs they’re bound to, etc.

• One of us killed: Paul is brutally killed by the masked figure while everyone is forced to watch on screens.

Horror Situation – See another killed: The killer turns a spotlight on each member of the group and accuses each one of them of cheating someone (boyfriend, husband, business partner, etc.). Emma – he accuses her of encouraging Laura to cheat on her husband by introducing her to Scott and then encouraging her to leave her husband for Scott. He then kills her husband Paul and gives her the choice of killing herself or escaping. When she escapes, she falls into a bear trap that slices off her leg, then other traps that leave her bloodied and dying. He then beheads her. All of this is streamed for the others to watch.

Reaction –

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought! After watching Emma be killed, the group is given a choice – nominate the next person to die, or try escaping. Their fate is in their hands. They are allowed to be together in a large room and given two maps with all possible escape routes from the estate marked. They have an hour, and if they’re still on the estate by then, they all die.

Horror Situation – Dilemma: Who to save: The group has an hour to pick who will die next for their sins, or decide to escape.

Reaction – Denial: The group thinks that what’s happening is an elaborate prank by someone. Paul and Emma are not really dead.

Horror Situation – Internal conflict in the group: Disagreement and conflicts break out in the group on their course of action. The majority opinion is that they can break out of the house.

Reaction – Escape: They split up into groups and start exploring the routes.

Horror Situation – walking into a trap: The group presses on.

Horror Situation – Injured, wounded, or debilitated: They run into barb wire fences, thorny bushes. They are all bloodied and wounded. There seems to be no way off the estate.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Reaction – panic: they all come back to a central spot to regroup and start fighting amongst themselves.

Horror Situation – Threatened: They are warned over the PA system that they failed, so now they will all die.

Reaction – Internal conflict in the group: They start blaming each other for the situation and bickering.

• Terrorized: They hear the whir of a drone. A camera focuses on them. A countdown starts on the PA system.

Reaction – panic: They flee the spot.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Reaction – Escape: The group rushes to escape.

• Full pursuit by the killer: The killer is now actively hunting the group.

ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR

Reaction – Hide: They hide and plot to kill the killer.

• Fight to the death: The group members who are together (Vince, Jessica, Regan, Scott, Laura) try to fashion weapons (pitchforks from the barns, rocks, clubs, etc.) and traps (nooses, snares of some sort) and try to ambush the killer by letting one of them be spotted by a drone.

Horror Situation – Face to face with the monster: The group members succeed in luring and wounding the killer. They believe they’ve killed him.

Reaction – Escape: They compare the maps and see that there are actually only _x_ # of escape routes shown on it, whereas the killer mentioned x+1 ways out of the estate. They superimpose the maps and discover that there’s a tunnel running from the house on the estate to Laura’s cabin!

· The thrilling escape from death: The killer is stabbed by Laura and left for dead. The group tries to escape…

Horror Situation – Attacked or chased: The group starts heading back to the house as the countdown begins again on the PA system. The killer is not dead and they are still being chased. A drone catches up with them.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Reaction – Fight: Laura stabs the killer. They believe he’s dead.

• Hysteria: They cannot find the route back to the house and fall into more traps.

Horror Situation – Injured, wounded, or debilitated: One person is impaled on spikes in an animal pit.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Reaction – Escape: They keep trying to run back towards the house.

• Death returns to take one or more: The killer is not dead!

Horror Situation – Attacked or chased: The killer is still hunting them and has just killed Vince, which he announces on the PA system.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Reaction – Escape: Laura keeps running to the house.

Horror Situation – Dilemma: The killer announces that he will show Laura the way back, if she believes she can end it by killing him.

Reaction – Fight: Laura goes back to the house and fights the killer with ______ weapon, but he overpowers her.

• Resolution: Scott is still alive and turns up to rescue her. He shoves her into the tunnel and closes the door, setting the house on fire with him in it. Scott dies, is the killer dead too?

Horror Situation – Lured: Laura is back in the house.

Reaction – Fight: Scott incapacitates the killer and locks Laura out.

Horror Situation- No escape or their escape route has been cut off: Scott sacrifices himself.

The killer is dead.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Cliffhanger: An ad in the newspaper several days later – have you been cheated by anyone in your life? Will pay for the story.

Laura is being photographed.

[Avi K]

LESSON 4: THE HORROR PLOT TRACK

What i learned doing this assignment is : I keep coming back to this outline and tweaking it to keep up with modifications I made in lessons down the line.

ASSIGNMENT

Create your plot.

Concept:

1. Knowing your concept, fill in one or two sentences for each of the plot points.

ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR

• Atmosphere of Evil established: The killer is shown chopping off a woman’s head with an axe as her ‘time is up’.

• Connect with the characters: Laura gets a divorce from Adam because he has no time for her and she met someone more caring through friends. After a bitter divorce, Laura celebrates with her friends and tells them she’s getting away for a few days.

• The characters are warned not to do it: 1. Adam warns her in the coutroom that she shouldn’t celebrate too soon.

• Denial of Horror: Laura answers that she’s earned it .

• Safety taken away: Laura experiences doors closing, strange notes, voices at night.

• Monster: The nature of the beast: Laura and her friends are tied up, in separate rooms and a menacing figure in a mask visits them all. They are told that they will die.

ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN

• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: Laura and the group are trapped in an unknown home in dark rooms.

• One of us killed: Emma is brutally killed by the masked figure while everyone is forced to watch on screens.

MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought! After watching Emma be killed, the group is told that their time will come – their fate is in their hands. They can escape, or nominate another person to die. They choose escape.

• Full pursuit by the killer: The killer starts pursuing the group across teh estate as they try to escape.

• Terrorized: The group starts dying, one-by-one.

ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR

• Fight to the death: The group lures and ambushes the killer and think he’s dead.

· The thrilling escape from death: The killer is not dead, but is again stabbed by Laura and left for dead. The group tries to escape…

• Hysteria: They run into the traps and snares that are set all over the estate. More people die.

• Death returns to take one or more: The killer is not dead! He starts hunting them down.

• Resolution: Laura lures the killer back into the house and then Scott, her new fiancee, returns to rescue her and sacrifices himself to make sure the killer is dead. The killer is dead…is he?

[Avi K]

LESSON 3: SURVIVORS AND VICTIMS

What I learned doing this assignment is: That you could probably mix-and-match the dying groups a bit. My concept is somewhere between A and B.

ASSIGNMENT

As you saw in the example THE PURGE, create the Survivors and Victims of your movie.

Concept:

1. Tell us your Concept and the Group you have chosen.

Concept: A divorced woman discovers that the house she won in a divorce is a death trap used by her ex-husband to murder sinners.

Group: Sinners

2. Tell us the Dying Pattern of this movie.

A. Put 6 to 8 characters together and kill them off one by one.

3. Give us an Identity and a sentence for each character that makes up your group.

Example: Leader: Without much consideration, Mike sets a direction, then inspires or pushes the group to go there. Hopefully, he guesses the right direction.

• Leader

• Rescuer – Scott, Laura’s new husband, whom she left Adam for.

• Innocent – Sandy, Laura’s friend who urges Laura to leave Adam.

• Out of control / Obnoxious – David

• Red Herring

• Love Interest or lovers – Paul: Sandy’s husband; Vince: Jessica’s boyfriend.

• Complainer – Regan, Laura’s friend who complains about everything.

• Rebel / Rule Breaker – Jessica, Laura’s friend who hates rules.

• Introvert / Loner

• Moral One

• Monster Bait

• The Carrier: The one who brings the horror to the group – Laura, the wife. She divorces Adam and triggers his quest for revenge.

• Sacrificial Lamb – Emma, Laura’s single friend who is trying to get over a breakup.

[Avi K]

LESSON 2: CRAFTING YOUR MONSTER

What I learned doing this assignment is: Figuring out my character mythology was necessary for me to create the rules. So it could be essential at times rather than unimportant.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ASSIGNMENT

Create an early version of your monster.

1. Tell us what or who your monster is: a serial killer who is now intent on murdering his ex-wife.

2. Give us a few sentences for each of the following for your monster:

• Their Terror:

How does the monster terrorize? The
killer won’t stop until his ex-wife and her friends are driven mad and
die.
How does the monster pursue? He uses
video camera and hidden passages to watch, sneak up and attack.
How does the monster isolate? By trapping
them in their own rooms (using electronic controls he’s installed to lock
doors), thus splitting up the group; by pitting them against each other
for survival; by
What is the terrible thing they do? Leave
sinister notes, play sinister videos, force people to inflict self-harm,
harm upon each other, nominate others to die, then finally killing
everyone.
How does the monster cause death?
Saw-toothed doors, axe, arrows, bear traps, animal snares, forcing people
to hang themselves? (provide a chair and a knife to cut the rope before
they choke?), fire?
What makes this inescapable? The home is
locked down by the killer and when he lets people run out, the estate is
ringed with electric fences, he’s installed electric collars on the
victims, there are bear traps and animal snares around the grounds,
there’s no one else around for miles.

• Their Mystery: How can the victims escape a killer who controls every portion of the estate they’re trapped on?

• Their Fear Provoking Appearance: The killers wears a luminous, punk cosplay helmet/mask and carries a crossbow.

• Their Rules: The killer cannot be seen unless he lets himself be seen. He targets men and women who cheat on their partners and ruin their lives (He runs an ad every few months in cheap newspapers for ‘cheater stories’?).

• Their Mythology: his father killed his mother when she fought with him to not cheat? or killed herself when his father cheated? Or, his mother left his father for cheating and then gave him up for adoption and killed herself when she couldn’t provide for him?

[Avi K]

What I earned doing this assignment is: I have never thought of horror movies in terms of the four components and the conventions. This lesson has really given me a great way of breaking down the piece of a great horror movie.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ASSIGNMENT

Analyze a HORROR movie to discover how the conventions were expressed. It is totally okay to analyze a movie you’ve already seen, but please watch it again. Don’t just do it from memory.

1. Go to Netflix, iTunes, or Amazon and search for “horror” movies. Pick a horror movie that fits three criteria: The Relic.

2. Watch the movie and as you do, note its conventions.

• Title / Concept: The Relic

• Terrorize The Characters: The characters are all gathered for a gala, unaware that they are being hunted by a monster and will die brutal deaths.

• Isolation: The victims are trapped in dark, enclosed spaces (a museum building, its basement, the water tunnels below it).

• Death: They are ripped to pieces by the beast, which then eats the hypo thalamus from the victims’ brains.

• Monster/Villain: An anthropologist who drinks a potion as part of a tribe ritual in a remote Brazilian forest and is turned into a beast.

• High Tension: Low lighting in the museum building, wheezing noises as the beast passes through different areas of the building, bodies piling up- decapitated, torn to pieces.

• Departure from Reality: A man turning into a monster, which then hunts and decapitates its victims and then eats a part of their brains.

• Moral Statement: Respect for traditions of other communities and groups.

3. Anything else you’d like to say about what made this movie a great horror film? The script, the setting, the acting, it all comes together to make a great creature movie.

4. Note down the same conventions for your movie concept

MY CONCEPT: A divorced woman discovers that the house she won in a divorce is a death trap used by her ex-husband to murder women.

TERRORIZE THE CHARACTERS: The victims are trapped in a house whose exits are controlled by a serial killer and are forced to choose between killing themselves or endure brutal torture and be killed by him.

ISOLATION: The house is in remote woods near a lake, where there is no other person for miles.

DEATH: Bear-traps, spring-loaded doors with saw blades that cut people in half when they slam shut as someone tries to escape (door opens once a day and stays open for 30 minutes?), cutting themselves each time they want water, having to pick a person to die if the larger group needs to be saved, having to cut off a finger for each attempt to escape or use a phone.

MONSTER/VILLAIN: A serial killer who likes to drive women mad with fear/insanity before killing them, and getting them to choose between killing themselves before it gets worse, or try to stay alive and have a chance to escape.

HIGH TENSION: Sinister notes, voices that whisper at night, lights turning on and off by themselves, gruesome video clips suddenly playing, impossible choices to stay alive.

DEPARTURE FROM REALITY: wounding yourself for a drink of water, nominating someone to die each day you’re alive, cutting off your own finger for trying to use a phone to call for help, being electrocuted if you try to venture outside a designated ‘radius’.

MORAL STATEMENT: Don’t cheat others.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Phone Pitch

What I learned from this lesson is: It’s essential to remember the basics of your plot and figure out the best hooks. Not easy!

1. Tell us which of the four strategies you are going to use to open your pitch:

#4- Lead with a High Concept

2. Give us your script for phone call pitches, like I did above.

Hi, I’m Avi Kapurala and I have a thriller script about a billionaire serial killer on a mission. Picture Bobby Axelrod-meets-Dexter.

3. Give us a one or two sentence answer to the questions a producer may ask:

What’s the budget range? Similar to Billions.

Who do you see in the main roles?

Protagonist: Tom Hardy, Michael Fassbender, Liam Hemsworth, Richard Madden, Kit Harrington.

Antagonist: Donald Glover, Aaron Perry Taylor-Johnson, Riz Ahmed, Nick Hoult, Jonah Hill, Jesse Eisenberg.

Female Lead: Priyanka Chopra, Emilia Clarke, Eiza Gonzalez, Anna Paquin, Blake Lively.

How many pages is the script? 57.

Who else has seen this? My writer’s group.

Why do you think this fits our company? Because you’ve produced (a) similar thriller(s) insert name, which I loved.

How does the movie end?

Setup: Billionaire venture-capitalists Viktor and Maya Brazhinsky take down David Richardson, the man who raped Maya as a teen. His fall destroys his company, resulting in massive losses to billionaire Jacob Swanson, the main investor in Richardson’s new venture, and Viktor and Maya’s friend-turned-enemy. Jacob vows revenge on Viktor and uncovers a secret that he can use to destroy Viktor—he’s a serial killer.

Payoff: Maya and Viktor hatch a devious counterplot to destroy Jacob and kill him before he can expose Viktor.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Pitch Fest

What I learned from doing this lesson: Thinking about my show from a pitching perspective helped me gain clarity on a lot of points and learn to summarize it more quickly and succinctly than before.

1. Tell us your credibility.

2. Tell us your genre and title – Thriller. KILLER.

3. What is your one or two sentence hook?

This is the story of a billionaire serial killer, whose arch-rival discovers his secret and wants to use it to destroy him. What happens then?

4. Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:

• What is the budget range?

Similar to Billions.

• What actors do you like for the lead roles?

Protagonist: Tom Hardy, Michael Fassbender, Liam Hemsworth, Richard Madden, Kit Harrington.

Antagonist: Donald Glover, Aaron Perry Taylor-Johnson, Riz Ahmed, Nick Hoult, Jonah Hill, Jesse Eisenberg.

Female Lead: Priyanka Chopra, Emilia Clarke, Eiza Gonzalez, Anna Paquin, Blake Lively.

• Give me the acts of the story.

Teaser- A serial killer murders his 25^th victim.

Act 1- Viktor and Maya Brazhinsky take down David Richardson, the man who repeatedly raped Maya as a teen. His fall ruins his company, resulting in massive losses to Jacob Swanson, the main investor in Richardson’s venture. Jacob is Viktor and Maya’s friend-turned-enemy.

Act 2- Jacob vows revenge on Viktor and gets his hands on information, which he then uses to sabotage Viktor’s new project.

Act 3 – Jacob stumbles on Viktor’s dangerous secret: he’s a serial killer. He then confronts Viktor and taunts him about finally having ammunition to destroy him.

Act 4- Suspecting danger, Viktor and Maya work to find out what information Jacob has that he can use to carry out his threat. They find out that Jacob knows that Viktor is a serial killer.

Act 5- Maya and Viktor hatch a plot to destroy Jacob, before he can expose Viktor.

• How does it end? (setup / payoff).

Pilot End: The mysterious serial killer from the beginning of the pilot is revealed to be billionaire Viktor and he’s plotting with his wife, who’s in on his secret, to eliminate the man who threatens to expose him!

Season 1 End: Viktor and Maya think they’ve killed Jacob, but the cliffhanger is that he’s still alive.

Show End: Viktor is shot by the FBI agent hunting him, but the cliffhanger is she doesn’t find a body.

• Credibility questions What have you done?

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  Avi K.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Query Letter

What I learned doing this assignment is: It’s important to keep it simple, as the lesson says. Making the letter too dense might lose the reader. I’ll be looking to trim mine down as much as possible.

Last night, Viktor Brazhinsky murdered Claire Logan. That took his kill count to 25. Not bad for a billionaire who spends most of his time in corporate meetings…

A sexy date that turns into cold-blooded murder. A corporate takedown that ignites a rival’s simmering desire for revenge. Welcome to the world of Viktor Brazhinsky. Billionaire…serial-killer…

THEN

Viktor’s mother promises him a new life. But when all it yields is endless pain — that of being bullied at school, of being taunted as ‘the whore’s son’ and of being brutally tattooed by her sadistic employer, Viktor makes himself a promise. One day, he will kill everyone who preyed on him, and others in society like them.

NOW

Viktor and his wife, Maya, lords of a multi-billion-dollar empire…and closet serial killers on a mission… take down David Richardson, the man who raped Maya as a teen. Their plan runs like clockwork, ending with David’s suicide.

The hitch?

David’s fall hurts Jacob Swanson—fellow billionaire, heir to the Swanson family fortune, and Viktor and Maya’s friend-turned-bitter foe. Vowing revenge for his losses, Jacob turns his resources to finding a chink in Viktor’s armor…and stumbles upon Viktor’s deadly secret…

What will Viktor and Maya do?

If you like this concept, I’d be happy to send you the script and pitch bible.

CONTACT INFO:

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  Avi K.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Synopsis and Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment is: Writing the hook synopsis gave me a much better understanding of my show. It actually answered some questions that I haven’t been able to answer so far. So, I guess it is true—trying to pitch/sell your show cannot work, if you don’t really understand it inside-out.

Hooks:

Sexy date that turns into cold-blooded murder.

A corporate plot to undermine a rival ignites his desire for revenge.

Our hero is a serial killer.

The killer’s wife is in league with him!

Synopsis:

A sexy date that turns into cold-blooded murder. A corporate takedown that ignites a rival’s simmering desire for revenge.

Welcome to the world of Viktor Brazhinsky. Billionaire…serial-killer…

THEN

Viktor’s mother promises him a new life. But when that new life yields endless pain — that of being bullied at school, of being taunted as ‘the whore’s son’ and of being brutally tattooed by her sadistic employer, Viktor makes himself a promise. One day, he will kill everyone who preyed on him, and others in society like them.

NOW

Viktor and his wife, Maya, lords of a multi-billion-dollar empire…and closet serial killers on a mission… take down David Richardson, the man who raped Maya as a teen. Their plan runs like clockwork, ending with David’s suicide.

The hitch?

David’s fall hurts Jacob Swanson—fellow billionaire, heir to the Swanson family fortune, and Viktor and Maya’s friend-turned-bitter foe. Vowing revenge for his losses, Jacob turns his resources to finding a chink in Viktor’s armor…and stumbles upon the secret that could put him on death row…

What
will Viktor and Maya do?

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s High Concepts and Elevator Pitches

1. Main hook: How does a billionaire serial killer murder 20 women and protect his secret when his arch-enemy plots to expose him?

2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?

A billionaire serial-killer must protect his secret from being exposed by an arch-rival.

DILEMMA: Eliminate a rival without drawing attention to yourself, or risk being hanged for murder.

MAIN CONFLICT: Two billionaire foes vying to destroy each other. One of them discovers a secret that he can use to send the other to death row.

WHAT’S AT STAKE: Sole supremacy and the love of the woman they both desire.

GOAL/UNIQUE OPPOSITION: Hide the fact that he’s a serial killer when his arch-rival discovers the secret.

Elevator Pitch: I’m finishing up a story that answers the question: How does a billionaire serial killer protect his secret when his arch-enemy plots to expose him?

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Avi K.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s 10 Most Interesting Things

1. Unique villain and hero? Hero: Billionaire serial killer. Villain: Best friend-turned-arch-enemy who discovers his secret.

B. Major hook: Sexy date that turns into cold-blooded murder.

C. Turning points:

-A corporate plot to undermine a rival ignites his desire for revenge.

-Our hero is a serial killer.

-The killer’s wife is in league with him!

D. Emotional dilemma? Find a way to eliminate the threat without drawing attention, or risk his secret being exposed and hang for murder.

E. Major twists?

-Sean Miller disposes of Claire’s body/Viktor is the actual killer.

-Maya asks for Jacob’s company as a friend/she’s plotting with Viktor to get rid of his threat.

F. Reversals?

-Sean Miller is not the killer, Viktor is.

-Maya’s closeness to Jacob is a lie to gain his trust.

G. Character betrayals?

Maya dupes Jacob into trusting her.

David Richardson betrays the trust of his friend Peter and rapes his daughter.

H. Surprises?

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Producer/Manager Meetings

1. How will you present yourself and your project to the producer?

A: I have a marketable thriller script that has successful comparable shows such as You, Billions and Dexter and I’m willing to work on any notes that the producer offers me to increase the marketability of the script.

2. How will you present yourself and your project to the manager?

I am a writer who has a pipeline of marketable scripts and is willing to take feedback and implement it. I have a good work ethic and will keep turning out viable scripts for them to take to the market.

3. Answer the question “What I learned today is…?”

Approaching conversations with managers and producers keeping their concerns in mind, rather than thinking solely with my writer’s hat or ego, is the way to sell and establish myself in the market.

[Avi K]

Module 5 Lessons-Killer

1. Tell us your current logline.

Venture capital tycoon Viktor Brazhinsky and his wife Maya plot the downfall of a rival who plans to expose Viktor’s chilling secret — he’s a serial killer who’s never been caught…

2. Look through the 10 Components of Marketability and pick one or two that have the most potential for selling this script.

• A. Unique. Serial killer set in the finance world.

• B. Great Title. Killer.

• C. True.

• D. Timely — connected to some major trend or event.

• E. It’s a first.

• F. Ultimate.

• G. Wide audience appeal.

• H. Adapted from a popular book.

• I. Similarity to a box-office success. Billions, Dexter, You.

• J. A great role for a bankable actor.

Viktor: very physical, serial killer, tycoon, traumatic past.

Maya: complex, dark past, serial killer.

Jacob: traumatic past, tycoon, vengeful.

3. Do a quick brainstorm session about ways to elevate those two components for this script and tell us how you might pitch the script through the two components.

Killer is a show with a unique twist on the serial killer/revenge genres: it is set in the worlds of finance and BDSM with complex, larger-than-life roles for actors who love physically and emotionally challenging characters.

Example: If you say your script has a great role, in one or two sentences, tell us how you can emphasize that role as you pitch your concept.

4. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and post it at the top of your work.

What I learned doing this assignment is: thinking of a pitch from the marketing perspective is challenging. I keep lapsing into the creative explanation (like a logline) and then refresh the fact that I need to elevate differently.

[Avi K]

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Avi Kapurala’s Project and Market

GENRE: Thriller

TITLE: Killer

CONCEPT: Venture capital tycoon Viktor Brazhinsky and his wife Maya plot the downfall of a rival who plans to expose Viktor’s chilling secret–he’s a serial killer who’s never been caught…

WHAT’S ATTRACTIVE ABOUT MY STORY: It is a fast-paced thriller with comps such as Billions, Dexter and You, which are all hit shows. I’m reasonably confident that my show caters to the audiences that watched these shows, while providing its own unique twist.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>TARGETING:

Producers first – as much as I would love to target managers, I want to learn the process of pitching to producers, so this is my choice. My next target segment would be managers.

What I learned today: marketing pilots is a process with many layers. But what can be controlled is the quality of the marketing/pitch materials. That’s in our hands.

I’m looking forward to this module and going to market.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala Finished Wordsmithing!

Completed this a while ago but neglected to post.

What I learned doing this lesson is: I covered all the ground mentioned in the lesson and the pilot is definitely better, but it still feels like I could do so much more!

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala has Amazing Description!

Completed this a while ago but neglected to post.

What I learned doing this lesson is: increasing description blew out my page count, but definitely improved the dialogue.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala Description 2

Completed this a while ago but neglected to post.

What I learned doing this lesson is: with the techniques in this lesson, I was able to add more subtleties to the pilot and reflect the states of the characters, etc., better at key points.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala Description 1

Completed this a while ago but neglected to post.

What I learned doing this lesson is: increasing description blew out my page count, but definitely improved the dialogue.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala has great dialogue

Completed this a long time ago, but neglected to post on the forums.

What I learned doing this assignment is: Dialogue can definitely be improved with each pass.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Dialogue 7-8

What I learned doing this lesson is: using dialogue as action and subtext definitely increased the intrigue levels in many places in the pilot. They also helped create long-and-short term open loops.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Dialogue 4-6

What I learned doing this assignment is: the techniques in this lesson definitely heightened the tension in crucial scenes. Once again, it took a little bit to figure out how to start using them, but once I did, things definitely looked up.

Ex: A. Setup / Payoff – Act 1 dialogue between my antagonist and his aide began with a setup/payoff structure and improved the scene.

B. Anticipatory Dialogue – I incorporated the anticipatory dialogue in my teaser and it made it a lot better.

C. Ironic Dialogue – using this technique in scenes with the protagonist and antagonist made them more vibrant, definitely.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Dialogue 1+2

What I learned doing this lesson is: the attack/counterattack and dialog delivers character techniques really spiced up quite a few of my crucial scenes. It was tough to get down at first, but I think I gradually got it.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Complete PS Grid #2

What I learned doing this assignment is: Keeping the outline and the draft in synce is important.

I was able to strengthen 4-5 important scenes and strengthen my main characters as well and they’re now all in a much better place from the first draft.

I’m really beginning to understand the purpose of module 4 and its philosophy of fixing problems. Great stuff! Looking forward to really imbibing these lessons as I continue writing.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Completed P/S Grid 1

What I learned doing this assignment is: Acts 3 and 4 and their turning points were weaker than I liked, so I moved things around between acts and wrote a few new scenes.

Overall, I think my pilot is in a better place than draft 1 and I’m ready to keep improving it while fighting the negative thoughts that keep cropping up.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala has finished Acts 4+5!

What I learned from doing this lesson is: It’s hard to shake ALL thoughts that my pilot isn’t all that I want it to be. The key is-yet.

Conitnuing to stick to the speed writing rules and pick speed over anything else right now. It’s an exciting time, not a time to worry. I have a finished first draft of my first pilot!

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Finished Act 3

What I learned from doing this lesson is: I’m not sure if I’m the only one feeling this way, but it takes time when you have a lot of scenes! Still holding on to the rules and plugging away as quickly as possible without stalling.

Rule 1: Use empowering self talk. Cheer yourself on. A

Rule 2: Understand writing in drafts. A

Rule 3: Choose speed over quality for EARLY drafts. A

Rule 4: Allow yourself to start (or continue) without all the answers. A

Rule 5: Keep moving. Don’t allow yourself to ever stall out. A

Rule 6: Even if you can’t create it now, you will be able to at some point in the future! B

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Finished Act 2

What I learned from doing this assignment is: It’s a first draft! It’s a first draft! I’m writing a TV pilot for the first time in my life and there’s more to be proud of than worried about!

Rule 1: Use empowering self talk. Cheer yourself on. A

Rule 2: Understand writing in drafts. A

Rule 3: Choose speed over quality for EARLY drafts. B

Rule 4: Allow yourself to start (or continue) without all the answers. A

Rule 5: Keep moving. Don’t allow yourself to ever stall out. A

Rule 6: Even if you can’t create it now, you will be able to at some point in the future! B

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Finished Act 1 First Draft

My pilot seems far from good, but I’m trying to imbibe the speed-writing rules and embracing positive talk! It’s a first draft and will get better.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Teaser / High Speed Writing

I blocked out my brain and followed the high-speed writing rules. It was quick and the only reason it took me a little time was because I have a lot of scenes.

I must admit, this is a new approach (working in drafts) and it doesn’t come easy, or the positive talk!

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Outline with Intrigue

What I learned doing this lesson is: There’s still a lot of scope for the outline to become better and I have a good structure to build on.

BEAT SHEET

Show Concept: Venture capital tycoon Viktor Brazhinsky and his wife Maya plot the downfall of a rival who plans to expose Viktor’s chilling secret — he’s a serial killer who’s never been caught…

Inciting Incident: The collapse of the Tyson Electric-Richardson gas station deal brought on by Viktor and Maya.

TEASER

INT- HOUSE- NIGHT: Mystery

A phone buzzes. It’s a text. Someone who’s watching TV checks it, turns off the TV and leaves.

A man is watching TV when his phone buzzes with a text message. He reads it, turns off the TV and leaves the house. He gets in a car and drives, to a wooded area, where a concealed car is parked. He switches cars and drives away.

Open Loop: Who is the man?

Mystery: Where is he going?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out where he’s going and what the text means.

EXT- WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Secret

A masked figure peers around a corner to see if anyone is watching a warehouse he wants to enter. His gaze lingers on the few vehicles parked around, but there is no movement. He proceeds to enter the warehouse through a fire escape at the back.

The masked man parks behind an old warehouse and puts on a ski mask. He picks up a duffel bag from the seat next to him, gets out of the car and checks the surroundings. When he sees no one around, he climbs the fire escape to enter the warehouse.

Open Loop: Who is the man?

Mystery: What is in the warehouse?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out why he’s operating in such secrecy.

INT-CAR-NIGHT: Imminent threat

Someone is watching from a car about a block away. Dashboard clock shows time.

The warehouse is being watched by someone sitting in a car parked a couple of blocks away. Using a burner phone, the watcher sends a text to an unknown recipient- activity.

Open Loop: Who is the watcher?

Mystery: Why is he watching the warehouse?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Will the masked man be caught?

INT- WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Strange behavior

The masked man climbs in through a window and turns on a hooded flashlight. Dim glow lights up the large room. He walks to the other side of the room and enters a smaller one.

The masked man enters the warehouse from the fire escape. It is dark inside and he turns on a flashlight that is hooded to dim its light. He crosses the large room he is in and into a smaller one.

Open Loop: Who is the masked man?

Mystery: Why is he behaving so secretively?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out where he’s going and what the text means.

EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Imminent Threat

A figure sneaks out of the watching van and makes his way to the masked man’s van. Rolls underneath and rolls back out after a few seconds. Makes his way back to the car.

The person watching the warehouse slips out of his car and runs over to the masked man’s car. He rolls underneath. He rolls out, make sure no one saw him and then runs back to his car, ducking among the shadows to stay concealed.

Open Loop: Who is the watcher?

Mystery: Why is he spying on the masked man? What is he doing to the car?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out if the masked man will be caught or killed.

INT-CAR-NIGHT: Strange behavior

Someone is watching from a car about a block away. Dashboard clock shows an hour has elapsed.

The watcher then gets back into their car. He eats a snack, does forearm exercises and pees into an empty soda bottle as he keeps watch. The dashboard clock ticks over until an hour elapses.

Open Loop: Who is the watcher?

Mystery: What is he expecting to do?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out if the masked man will be caught.

EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Mystery

The masked man exits the warehouse from the fire escape.

The masked man exits the warehouse and climbs back down the fire escape. He scans the surroundings to see that the coast is still clear, before heading back to his car. He jogs back, pops the trunk and dumps the duffel bag into it before getting in and driving off.

Open Loop: Who is the masked man?

Mystery: What did he do in the warehouse and what is in the bag?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out where he’s going and what the text means.

INT-CAR-NIGHT: Imminent threat

A hand grips the steering wheel and another gets ready to turn on the ignition.

The watcher looks on as the car pulls out from behind the warehouse and drives away. He begins tailing at a discreet distance, keeping an eye on the tracker display for the tracking device he planted on the car ahead.

Open Loop: Who is the watcher?

Mystery: Will he capture the masked man?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out where the masked man is going.

EXT-CAR-NIGHT: Mystery

The warehouse starts burning. Man drives away. The van pulls out and starts tailing him discreetly.

As the cars drive away, the warehouse begins to burn.

Open Loop: Who is the masked man?

Mystery: What did he do in the warehouse and why is it burning?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out where he’s going and what the text means.

EXT-DARK ROAD-NIGHT: Mystery

The car drives along a lonely road.

The masked man’s car is driving along a dark, deserted road lit only by his lights. He keeps scanning his mirrors for any signs of pursuit, but there is nothing behind him.

Open Loop: Who is the man?

Mystery: Where is he going? Will he discover he’s being followed?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out where he’s going and what the text means.

EXT-SEASIDE-NIGHT: Strange behavior

The man reaches a boat tied to an old jetty. He loads the duffel bag in the boat and casts off. Goes a little bit and dumps the bag. Turns around comes back ashore. Drives away.

The masked man reaches the ocean and an old dock with a boat moored to it. There is no one else around. He stops the car, gets out and unloads the duffel bag. He dumps it in the boat and starts the motor, sailing away. He goes a way out and tosses the duffel bag in. Turns around and starts back for shore.

Open Loop: Who is the man?

Mystery: What is in the bag?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out where he’s going and what the text means.

INT-CAR-NIGHT: Strange behavior

Man sends a text- Mermaid away.

The masked man reaches shore, ties the boat back up and gets in his car. He texts an unknown recipient- mermaid away, before turning around and driving back.

Open Loop: Who is the man?

Mystery: Who is he texting?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out what was in the warehouse and what the text means.

EXT-WOODS-NIGHT: Mystery

The masked man pulls back into the woods, sets the car he was in on fire and gets back into his own car. Drives back home.

Open Loop: Who is the man?

Mystery: Why did he burn the car he was driving?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out what he’s been up to.

EXT-WOODS-NIGHT: Imminent threat

A short while after the masked man burns the car and drives away in his own, the watcher pulls up and sees that the car he was tailing is now a burnt ruin. He gets back in his car and texts an unknown recipient- lost trail, but have interesting home movie.

Open Loop: Who is the watcher?

Mystery: Who is he in contact with? What is the home movie he’s referring to? Why did he let the masked man go?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out who the watcher and masked man are.

ACT 1

EXT-MANHATTAN-NIGHT: Intriguing World

Description: Two men are talking in a moving car, discussing a rival deal to the one they’re working on. One of the men, called Jacob, needs to decide whether to push their deal forward or hold it while they gather more information.

The car stops at a heliport where they exit the car, get into a helicopter labeled Swanson 1 and take off against a backdrop of skyscrapers.

Jacob gets into a helicopter. Swanson 1. Chopper takes off. Crowd noise OS.

Start: Jacob is talking to an aide in his car.

Challenging Situation: A big business deal is in the works, but a competitor looms.

Conflict: Jacob needs to decide whether to hold the deal, or go ahead.

Action: He overrides his aide’s concerns about the risk to the deal.

Finish: Jumps into his chopper.

Open Loop: Who are the two men?

Mystery: Which deal are they talking about and what is the threat to it?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out if the deal will go ahead.

EXT-MANHATTAN-NIGHT: Intriguing World

Description: Jacob and his aide continue discussing Tyson Electric in the chopper. The aide hands over a file, which Jacob studies briefly, before putting it down and looking out of the window. He says he’s going to try and find out more, from her.

Jacob then calls someone and asks if she’s at the gala yet. When the answer is affirmative, he instructs the pilot to change course.

Chopper takes off. Aide hands over a file to Jacob. TYSON ELECTRIC on the folder.

Start: Jacob reads the deal folder in the chopper.

Challenging Situation: A big business deal is in the works, but a competitor looms.

Conflict: Jacob decides to extract information from his ex-lover about the rival deal.

Action: He calls an aide to find out if she’s at the awards gala.

Finish: Calls an organizer to become a presenter instead of xyz. Donates 100k as a bribe.

Open Loop: Who is Jacob?

Mystery: Which woman is he talking about?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out if Jacob can get information regarding the threat to his deal.

INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT: Intriguing World

Description: An awards gala is underway. The crowd is large and one of them is a stunning woman who is furiously texting on her phone. She’s asking someone where they are and receives no response. Crowd noise offscreen is building up.

Big crowd, seated at tables. Well dressed. A speaker talking on the stage. Maya texting. Where are you?

Start: Awards ceremony for XYZ Award.

Challenging Situation: Maya is trying to locate Viktor.

Conflict: Viktor is unreachable.

Action: She calls Jason.

Finish: No response from either. She is angry.

Open Loop: Who is the woman? Who is Viktor?

Mystery: Where is Viktor?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out if she is the woman Jacob is referring to.

INT-LOCKER ROOM-NIGHT: Mystery

Description: A phone lights up in a locker in an empty locker room. It’s the text the woman at the awards gala sent- where are you? The crowd noise is deafening now.

Phone lights up in a locker room. The text Maya sent- where are you? Crowd noise builds.

Start: Empty locker room in a gym, phone lights up in a locker with Maya’s message.

Challenging Situation: Angry texts from Maya.

Conflict: No one available to respond to her messages.

Action: Texts go unanswered.

Finish: Crowd going wild.

Open Loop: Who is Viktor?

Mystery: Where is Viktor?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out who Maya is trying to reach.

INT-CHOPPER-NIGHT: Mystery

Description: Jacob wants to know if he’s there with her. The answer is negative, which makes him wonder where ‘he’ is, if not by her side tonight.

Jacob asks his aide if “he’s’” there. Aide replies ‘negative’. Jacob-where the fuck is he?

Start: Jacob is trying to find out if Viktor’s at the awards ceremony.

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish: Viktor is missing.

Open Loop: Who is the mystery man Viktor that Jacob and Maya are trying to locate?

Mystery: Where is Viktor?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out where the mystery man is.

INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT: Intriguing World

Description: The crowd noise crescendos in a boxing ring. A man is kneeling in prayer as his opponent chomps at the bit. He is heavily tattooed and the showpiece is one on his back, which says ‘Son of a Whore’.

The man finishes his prayer and leaps to his feet, turning around to face his opponent, who is huge. The tattooed man’s trainer is unsure, but the fighter wants to go on. The bell rings and the fight begins.

Viktor kneeling and praying. Has a tattoo ‘Son of a whore’ on his back. Gets up and faces off with his opponent, a huge bear of a guy.

Start: Boxing ring, big crowd.

Challenging Situation: One of the fighters is gigantic.

Conflict: Viktor’s trainer is unsure if they should proceed.

Action: Viktor gets to his feet and takes his guard.

Finish: The bout begins

Open Loop: Why are we watching a boxing match?

Mystery: Is one of the men Viktor? Why does one of the guys have a tattoo that says Son of a Whore?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out who Viktor is.

INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT: Mystery

Description: At the awards gala, the woman is trying to call the man who isn’t answering her and is furious that he isn’t responding. The ceremony begins with the announcement of the keynote speaker.

Maya is calling someone on her phone. No answer.

Start: Maya tries calling Viktor.

Challenging Situation: No response.

Conflict: The awards ceremony has begun.

Action: She leaves an angry voicemail.

Finish:

Open Loop: Who is the woman?

Mystery: Where is Viktor?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out who she’s trying to reach.

INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT: Intriguing World

Description: The boxers are bloodied and going hard at each other as the crowd eggs them on. The tattooed boxer is badly beaten up, but continues to punch back. His opponent then starts taunting him about his tattoo and asks if his mother was a whore. This enrages the tattooed boxer and he unleashes a fierce attack.

Opponent going at each other. Viktor is badly beaten up, but landing his own punches. Opponent taunts him about his mother and if she’s a whore. Viktor enraged and goes into overdrive.

Start: The two boxers are going hard at each other.

Challenging Situation: The bigger boxer has the upper hand.

Conflict: The bigger boxer begins taunting viktor about his tattoo and his mother

Action: Viktor lashes out hard.

Finish: The bigger boxer is suddenly on the ropes.

Open Loop: What is the secret about Viktor’s mother?

Mystery: Why is Viktor in a boxing match?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out if Viktor will survive.

EXT-ROOFTOP HELIPAD-NIGHT: Intriguing World

Description: Swanson 1 lands on a rooftop helipad and Jacob rushes out, exits the rooftop and gets into an elevator.

The chopper lands, Jacob gets out and is rushed in.

Start: Jacob lands at the awards ceremony.

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish: Is rushed in.

Open Loop: Who is Jacob?

Mystery: Where did his chopper land him?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out who Jacob wants to meet and where he’s heading.

INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT: Hidden Layer

Description: Jacob exits the elevator he got on and walks into the awards gala where the woman is. She is quite taken aback to see him, but he doesn’t notice her on his way to the front of the room.

Jacob enters the awards gala where the woman is. She is taken aback to see him.

Start: Jacob walks in after the ceremony has begun.

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish: Maya is taken aback to see him.

Open Loop: Who is Jacob? Who is Maya?

Mystery: Why is Jacob at the awards ceremony? What is the information he wants from Maya?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out how Jacob and Maya are connected.

INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT: Intriguing World

Description: The tattooed boxer can barely stand, but acknowledges the cheers of the crowd, who is chanting his name-Viktor. His opponent is immobile on the ground and a doctor checks and declares him dead.

Viktor wins, barely standing. Opponent is dead.

Start: The bigger boxer is almost down.

Challenging Situation: He tries to take Viktor down in a last attempt.

Conflict: Viktor must avoid his hook.

Action: Viktor ducks and responds with an uppercut.

Finish: The bigger boxer goes down.

Open Loop: Who is Viktor? Why is he boxing?

Mystery: What got him so angry that he killed his opponent?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT: Secret

Description: When Maya is called to receive the most prestigious award of the night, Jacob presents it to her. After the ceremony ends, he strikes up a conversation with her and despite her reluctance, coaxes her for ‘old times’’ sake. Jacob questions her about Viktor’s absence and when he notices her anger, takes advantage and convinces her to have a drink with him. They leave the venue and head to a nearby bar.

Maya’s name is called, Jacob from the chopper presents her an award. Ceremony ends. They have a conversation, he flirts with her, she’s angry. They leave to get a drink at a bar.

Start: Jacob lands at the awards ceremony.

Challenging Situation: Jacob needs to find out about the rival deal that threatens Tyson Electric.

Conflict: Maya is hesitant to talk to him.

Action: He appeals to her to have just one drink for old times’ sake.

Finish: They head to the bar.

Open Loop: How do Maya and Jacob know each other?

Mystery: Will he try to get information about the rival deal to Tyson from her?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Will Jacob attempt to extract information from Maya?

INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT: Intriguing World

Description: Viktor is given a hero’s round of applause at the gym and then gets his wounds tended to. When he sees Maya’s calls and messages, he attempts to contact her, but gets no response. He lets her know that he’s sorry he missed the gala.

Viktor is being carried around. Then his trainer is patching him up in the locker room. Missed calls checked on phone. Tries calling Maya back.

Start: Viktor is celebrating his win in the match.

Challenging Situation: Becomes aware that Maya has been trying to reach him.

Conflict: He knows he fucked up by not being at the awards.

Action: He attempts to contact her.

Finish: leaves placatory messages.

Open Loop: Why was Viktor boxing?

Mystery: Will Maya respond to him?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out if Maya will respond to Viktor.

INT-BAR-NIGHT: Hidden Agenda

Description: Maya ignores Viktor’s messages and carries on her conversation with Jacob. They reminisce about the old days when they were in school together. Jacob asks her what made her leave him.

Maya’s phone buzzes. She looks at it, silences it and turns her phone facedown. Deep conversation between Jacob and Maya. They know each other from before.

Start: Maya and Jacob decide to head to a nearby bar from the awards ceremony.

Challenging Situation: Jacob needs to find out about the rival deal that threatens Tyson Electric, but Maya is awkward talking to him.

Conflict: Viktor is trying to reach Maya.

Action: Jacob asks her to choose him for a change.

Finish: Maya ignores Viktor’s calls and continues talking to Jacob.

Open Loop: Will Jacob try to extract information from Maya?

Mystery: How do Maya and Jacob know each other?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out if Maya will give Jacob information.

INT-CAR-NIGHT: Secret

Description: As Viktor is being driven back home by his trainer, Jason, talk turns to the match that just ended. Viktor relives a traumatic memory from childhood where he is being tattooed forcibly. He puts his thoughts aside and tries reaching Maya again, with no luck. He then decides to buy her flowers in an effort to make up.

Viktor is being driven back home by his trainer.

Start: Jacob is in his car. Driver Jason starts talking about the match.

Challenging Situation: The conversation triggers traumatic memories for Viktor.

Conflict: He needs to focus on Maya. Tries reaching her again.

Action: Asks Jason to stop the car at a bodega.

Finish: Buys flowers and texts Maya that he’s on his way home.

Open Loop: Why did Viktor get his tattoo?

Mystery: Who is the man who tattooed Viktor?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out if Maya will forgive Viktor.

INT-BAR-NIGHT: Hidden Agenda

Description: Jacob tries to capitalize on Maya’s being upset with Viktor and attempts to kiss her. When Maya pulls away, he apologizes and seeks to drop her home to make up. Maya refuses and leaves.

Jacob attempts to hold Maya’s hand, she doesn’t fight it. He volunteers to drop her home after they’re done with drinks

Start: Jacob tries to subtly play on Maya’s anger with Viktor and tries to kiss her.

Challenging Situation: Maya gets angry and decides to leave.

Conflict: What does she do?

Action: She tells him that she can’t right now.

Finish: Jacob begs to drop Maya home and Maya refuses.

Open Loop: Will Maya and Jacob get back together at some point?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Will Maya and Jacob get together in the future?

EXT-STREET-NIGHT

Description: Jacob is driving Maya home.

Start: Maya is heading home in Jacob’s car.

Challenging Situation: Jacob tries to extract information regarding Tyson Electric.

Conflict: She needs to stay loyal.

Action: She refuses to give him information.

Finish: reaches home.

EXT-DRIVEWAY-NIGHT: Wound

Description: Viktor and Maya reach home at the same time and Maya refuses to talk to Viktor or accept his flowers.

Both cars reach the same house. Viktor and Maya get down. Face each other. Maya turns away and walks into the house.

Start: Both cars reach home.

Challenging Situation: Maya is upset with Viktor.

Conflict: Will she accept Viktor’s gesture of peace?

Action: Viktor tries to give Maya the flowers.

Finish: Maya storms into the house.

Open Loop: Why is their marriage strained even before tonight?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out if Maya and Viktor’s relationship will survive.

INT-HOUSE-NIGHT: Wound

Description: Viktor and Maya fight. She accuses him of being selfish and he accuses her of betrayal, let’s not pretend we care about each other, it’s all business. She’s pissed because his face is beaten up and tomorrow is a big day. What else can she expect from him? Viktor sleeps in a different room. Maya lies awake in bed.

Viktor and Maya fight.

Start: Maya and Viktor storm inside.

Challenging Situation: Maya sees Viktor’s physical condition and is enraged. Viktor is furious about Jacob.

Conflict: Despite starting off with the goal of making peace, they feel antagonized again.

Action: They have a fight.

Finish: Sleep in separate bedrooms.

Open Loop: Why is Maya and Viktor’s relationship strained?

Mystery: Why is tomorrow a big day?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out why the next day is a big day.

INT-GYM-DAY: Mystery

Description: Maya is working out intensely the next morning, sweating her feelings out. She gets a text that lunch is on and wraps up her workout. She is preoccupied with the text.

Maya working out, trainer supervises workout. She gets a text, ‘lunch is on’.

Start: Maya is not at home, she’s at a gym.

Challenging Situation: Angry about the night’s events.

Conflict: Needs to keep focus.

Action: Punching bag? Something else?

Finish: Finishes workout and gets a text that lunch is on.

Open Loop:

Mystery: With whom is her lunch on?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re going to find out why today is a big day.

INT-LIVING ROOM-DAY: Wound

Description: When Viktor wakes up, Maya is gone and there’s a note for him on the coffee table telling him that she’s asked her makeup person to touch his bruises up before coming to the office. She doesn’t want him to ignore her, but Viktor does anyway.

Viktor wakes up, note on the coffee table- see you at the office, told Anya to fix you up. Don’t ignore. Viktor gets ready, brushes away Anya, who wants to put makeup on his face to cover up bruises.

Start: Viktor wakes up and Maya is gone.

Challenging Situation: In pain from the match.

Conflict: Maya has left instructions he doesn’t like.

Action: Viktor ignores her instructions.

Finish: Sends away the make-up artist.

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out how Maya will react to Viktor ignoring her advice.

INT-SHOWER-DAY: Wound

Maya is in the shower at the gym and has flashbacks to an older man abusing her sexually as a teenager. She’s trying to push him away, but he keeps telling her how beautiful she is and how she wants it too and will enjoy it. He promises her wonderful gifts. Proceeds to have sex with her as she gives in.

Maya showering after workout, gets dressed, heads to car.

Start: Maya in the shower post-workout.

Challenging Situation: She is disturbed.

Conflict: Disturbing images from childhood. Being molested.

Action: Finishes shower.

Finish: Leaves gym.

Open Loop: Why was Maya abused?

Mystery: Who is the man who abused her?

Empathy/Distress: Maya was raped.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out how her ordeal is connected to lunch.

EXT-STREET-DAY: Mystery

Description: Maya finishes getting ready after her shower and sets out to the office. She calls Viktor, who’s on his way to the office as well. They’re both upset, especially when Maya learns that he ignored her make up suggestion. But they agree to put aside their feelings and discuss the plan for the day, including the lunch that Maya is going to. Someone is following viktor, unknown to him.

Car reaches office tower, Maya exits, enters building.

Start: Maya calls Viktor from the car.

Challenging Situation: They’re both upset.

Conflict: To set aside their differences and plan for something important. But she is pissed at him ignoring her advice.

Action: They discuss plans for a mysterious lunch and also for their meetings.

Finish: Maya and Viktor reach the office.

Open Loop: Whys is today a big day?

Mystery: Why is Viktor being followed?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out why the day is important.

INT-OFFICE-DAY: Intriguing World

Description: Maya and Viktor are welcomed with tremendous applause as they walk in to the office. Her for the award and him, for his match and being a ‘bull’. They soak in the adulation and greet the crew warmly, before walking into their respective cabins.

Applause as Viktor and Maya enter. Cheers and handshakes. Viktor and Maya linger, then head to separate cabins.

Start: Maya and Viktor enter the office.

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action: They acknowledge their employees.

Finish: They go into their respective cabins.

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out why today is important and what Viktor and Maya do.

INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY: Mystery

Description: Maya asks her assistant to clear her afternoon schedule as she’s meeting an old friend for lunch. She then calls one of her employees in and goes over a plan to short shares of Tyson Electric. The analyst is mystified, but knows better than to question her.

Maya goes over schedule with assistant, emphasizes to switch her afternoon schedule as she’s meeting a friend, Nancy. Calls an employee in and asks to short shares of Tyson Electric. The employee asks why she’s interested in Tyson Electric? She then heads into Viktor’s cabin.

Start: Maya is going over the days calendar with her assistant.

Challenging Situation: The schedule needs rearranging due to a lunch appointment

Conflict: Needs to be vague about her interest in Tyson Electric.

Action: Decision conveyed.

Finish: Heads into Viktor’s office.

Open Loop: Why is lunch so important?

Mystery: Why are they shorting shares of Tyson electric?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re going to find out why lunch is so important and what the rival deal to Tyson electric is.

INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY: Intriguing World

Viktor and Maya are on a video conference with bankers and the founders of a company they are helping take public within a few days. Viktor wants the valuation pushed up as the technology is revolutionary and they will be the first self-driving cars in the world. But the bank is reluctant to ignore their research. An agreement is reached.

Viktor and Maya get on a video conference. DriveNXT founders, bank also on call. Discuss upcoming IPO.

Start: Viktor and Maya hop onto a conference.

Challenging Situation: An upcoming IPO is being discussed.

Conflict: The banks are underpricing them.

Action: Negotiation.

Finish: Agreement reached.

Open Loop:

Mystery: Is this the rival deal to Tyson?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT-OFFICE-DAY: Mystery

Description: Maya prepares to leave for lunch after the meeting. Viktor walks into her cabin and enquires if she’s up for it. Maya says she’s not going to pass up the chance to tell him to his face that he’s fucked. She needs to do this for herself. She wants to take down the bastard. Viktor comforts her and she doesn’t fight it. He tells her that he’ll be ready.

After the IPO meeting, Maya tells Viktor that lunch is on. She leaves.

Start: Viktor and Maya wrap up the conference.

Challenging Situation: An upcoming crucial lunch is being discussed.

Conflict: Viktor doesn’t want her to go. They can handle it without it. Maya wants to go and tell someone to their face that he’s going to be fucked. She needs to do it.

Action: Viktor reluctantly agrees.

Finish: Maya is pumped to ‘take him down’.

Open Loop: Why is lunch so important?

Mystery: Why is Viktor enquiring if Maya is up for it?

Empathy/Distress: The lunch is clearly triggering an emotional reaction from Maya.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out who Maya wants ‘fucked’.

INT-CAR-DAY: wound

Description: Maya is on her way to lunch and pensive. Her hands tremble as she has flashes from childhood again about the man fucking her. She reaches into her purse and pulls out a cigarette. She lights it and rolls down the window. In a few minutes, she’s reached her destination and tosses the cigarette away before getting out of the car.

Maya pensive.

Start: Maya is on her way to lunch.

Challenging Situation: She wants to feel in control, but isn’t.

Conflict: Childhood memories of being molested?

Action: She lights a cigarette from a hidden stash, which she rarely does.

Finish: Tosses her cigarette and gets out of the car.

Open Loop: Why was Maya abused?

Mystery: Who was the man who abused Maya?

Empathy/Distress: Maya was sexually abused and is traumatized.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out how lunch is triggering this trauma.

INT-ART GALLERY-DAY: Conspiracy

Description: Maya steps into an art gallery, where she browses pieces until she bumps into the owner of the gallery, a woman she recognizes. It’s her friend, Nancy, who is surprised to see her there. They haven’t met in years and have a lot to talk about, but Nancy is in a hurry as she’s heading for lunch with her father and husband to celebrate a big business deal her family is signing the next day. Maya invites herself, much to Nancy’s surprise, saying she’d be delighted to meet them. She texts Viktor that she’s in for lunch.

Maya runs into Nancy. Expresses surprise, they talk. Maya invites herself to lunch. Texts Viktor ‘IN’.

Start: Maya is in an art gallery, browsing.

Challenging Situation: She runs into a childhood friend.

Conflict: The friend is in a hurry to go to lunch.

Action: Maya invites herself to lunch with Nancy.

Finish: They leave together.

Open Loop: Why is lunch so important?

Mystery: If lunch with Nancy was already scheduled, then why did Maya act surprised at seeing Nancy and why did she invite herself in?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out why lunch is important and why it is triggering traumatic memories for Maya.

INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY: Conspiracy

Description: Viktor receives Maya’s text that she’s in for lunch. He almost calls her, but pauses and then texts her luck.

Viktor- Replies Good Luck to Maya’s text of IN.

Start: Viktor is in meetings when Maya texts him after lunch.

Challenging Situation: Gets a text from Maya that lunch is on.

Conflict: Hesitates before replying.

Action: Replies with a good luck, ready to go.

Finish: He continues with his meetings.

Open Loop: Why is lunch important to Maya and Viktor’s plan?

Mystery: What is ready to go?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out why lunch is important and what their plan is.

INT-RESTAURANT-DAY: Hidden Agenda

Description: Nancy and Maya walk into the restaurant and are met by Nancy’s husband and father. They are surprised to see Maya there and there’s an initial period of awkwardness. Maya slips into a seat next to Nancy’s father and as they’re talking about the big deal they’re signing, she slips her hand under the table and rubs the older man’s thigh. He doesn’t show any reaction, but doesn’t stop her either. A few minutes later, Maya excuses herself to go the ladies room and walks away. Nancy’s father excuses himself and follows her inside.

The two women meet with two men, one quite older. Hugs all around, they start talking. Maya rubs older man’s thigh under the table. She gets up to go to the ladies’ room, older man waits and follows.

Start: Maya is at lunch with Nancy, her husband and her father.

Challenging Situation: Maya is uncomfortable, but has her emotions under control.

Conflict: Nancy’s father seats himself next to her. She rubs his thigh under the table.

Action: She waits a few minutes and then excuses herself to the ladies’ room, with a signal to Nancy’s father.

Finish: She enters the ladies’ room and waits for him.

Open Loop: Why is lunch so important?

Mystery: Why is Maya having lunch with her rapist?

Empathy/Distress: This is hard for Maya.

Payoff:

Irony: Maya is having lunch with the man in her traumatic memories.

Setup: We’re about to find out what the plan is.

INT-LADIES’ ROOM-DAY: Hidden Agenda

Description: Maya and Nancy’s father get into a stall. He locks it behind them and asks her if she missed him, or if her husband’s not doing it for her. She laughs and then grabs his balls painfully hard. As he grunts in pain, she tells him that it’s neither. She’s here to put a fucking end to his career in fucking little girls. She holds up her phone and plays a little clip of him with an underage girl, which the world will shortly see.

The old man retorts that he fucking paid for her college and calls her a gold digger. Nancy gets furious and says that he took advantage of his friendship with ‘him’ and asks to know if she’s the villain here. Besides, you got me pregnant, you bastard. He apologizes and pleads with her to forgive him, but she twists harder and tells him that her should have thought of it sooner. It’s too late now. She lets him go and walks out without saying goodbye to Nancy.

They get into a stall. He asks if she missed him and that’s why she’s here. She grabs his balls and threatens him. Walks out.

Start: Nancy’s father enters the stall.

Challenging Situation: He begins kissing her and asks if she missed him.

Conflict: Childhood memories flash.

Action: She grabs his balls and squeezes painfully. Tells him that he’s finished fucking young girls who don’t have a choice.

Finish: Shoves him away and walks out.

Open Loop: How does the old man know Maya?

Mystery: Who is the ‘him’ she’s referring to? How did she get a video of him with an underage girl?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: We know why lunch was important.

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out what the rest of the plan is.

EXT-RESTAURANT-DAY: Conspiracy

Description: Maya struggles to breathe as she walks out of the restaurant. Her hands are shaking as she texts Viktor Go. She lights another cigarette and gets into her car.

Maya texts Viktor – GO.

Start: Maya tells Nancy and her husband that she’s got to go, but good luck with the deal.

Challenging Situation: She’s struggling to breathe.

Conflict: Hesitates before sending a text.

Action: texts Viktor ‘GO’.

Finish: Lights a cigarette and gets into her car.

Open Loop: What is Viktor and Maya’s plan?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Maya is traumatized by her interaction with Richardson.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out what the plot is.

INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY: Conspiracy

Description: Viktor makes a phone call to a reporter and tells him to run the item. He then calls the analyst Maya gave instructions to, to come in and then gives her instructions on how to short Tyson Electric stock.

He then begins texting Maya, asking her how she’s doing, but then calls her instead and tells her it’s done.

Viktor calls someone and asks them to do it. Texts Maya DONE.

Start: Viktor calls someone and tells them to proceed with the article.

Challenging Situation: He makes a second call on a burner phone and asks the person to start buying through the other account as decided.

Conflict: He wants to call Maya, but hesitates. Starts typing a text asking how she’s doing, but erases it.

Action: Goes ahead and calls her.

Finish: Tells her that it’s done.

Open Loop:

Mystery: Why is Viktor shorting Tyson stock?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out their plan.

INT-CAFÉ-DAY: Hidden Layer

Description: At the café, Nancy and her family are still at lunch, her father having rejoined them. He gets a call from a news reporter, asking for comment on a news story they’re about run. He threatens to sue them, but the reporter tells him that they have evidence and are going ahead with the item.

Nancy and family at lunch.

Challenging Situation: Nancy’s father gets a call at lunch from a reporter about a news article that is scheduled to run shortly.

Conflict: He cannot discuss it freely with his family around and in a public place.

Action: Threatens to sue.

Finish: The reporter says they’re going ahead as they have solid proof.

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: We know now what Maya and Viktor’s plan is.

Irony:

Setup: We’re about to find out the result of the plan.

INT-CAR-DAY: Wound

Description: Maya is in her car driving back to the office, when her phone begins buzzing. The news item with the video has dropped. She begins to cry and pulls over as horns begin honking behind her. She breaks down completely.

Maya’s driving.

Start: Maya’s phone begins buzzing.

Challenging Situation: She begins crying as she sees the news.

Conflict: Wants to control her emotions, but cannot.

Finish: Pulls over and bawls her eyes out.

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Maya is in agony from her interaction and traumatic memories.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT-OFFICE-DAY: Conspiracy

Description: The news is everywhere about Richardson being a pedophile. Viktor’s office is glued to the TV as the news plays out. The analyst who was shorting Tyson Electric begins dumping shares. News breaks that the Tyson Electric deal has been called off due to the new revelations.

Viktor makes a call on a burner phone and advises a front to start buying shares of EcoLab, discreetly and through channels.

The TV news and phones in Viktor’s office begin buzzing with a video of Dave Richardson being a pedophile.

Start: The news hits the screens in Viktor’s office. Chaos as people try to figure out the implications.

Challenging Situation: Viktor needs to keep his cool and not give away that Maya and he are behind the news, or are profiting from it.

Conflict: Advises confidantes to buy more of EcoLabs.

Finish: The office celebrates as the rival deal collapses.

Open Loop: What is EcoLabs?

Mystery: Why is Viktor buying stocks of Ecolabs?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: We now know Maya and Viktor’s full plot.

Irony:

Setup: EcoLabs.

INT-BEDROOM-NIGHT: Hidden Agenda

Description: Maya is in bed, watching the news. Viktor comes home and attempts to comfort her, but she refuses his attention. He walks away and she texts Nancy that she hopes they rot in hell for not stopping her father from ruining dozens of girls’ lives. Nancy replies back fuck you.

Maya is reading in bed. The news is about the collapse of the Tyson Electric deal with Richardsons. Maya texts Richardson- rot in prison, you bastard.

Start: Maya is home, in bed. Viktor walks in.

Challenging Situation: Viktor wants to comfort Maya.

Conflict: Maya pulls away and refuses his attention. Viktor walks away and hope in the shower, goes to sleep in a separate room.

Finish: Maya texts Nancy- hope all of you rot in hell for not stopping him. Nancy replies- fuck you.

Open Loop: Why is Viktor and Maya’s marriage strained?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: Maya has her revenge.

Irony:

Setup:

Intriguing World:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behavior:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

ACT 2

INT-OFFICE-DAY: Wound

Description: As the news of the collapse of Tyson Electric’s deal grabs the headlines, Jacob is furious. He knows that it was Viktor who orchestrated the sabotage, as his client has announced their own deal with a rival chain of gas stations. He gets a call from someone who summons him to talk about the monumental fuck-up and is so enraged by the summons, that he hurls his phone at the wall and smashes it to bits.

Jacob is watching the news of Tyson Electric’s collapse. The news talks about a rival company signing a deal with another national chain of gas stations. He gets a call from someone who wants to meet him. Gets so angry he hurls the phone at the wall.

Start: Jacob is watching the Tyson Electric deal collapse.

Challenging Situation: A rival company has announced its launch, instead of Tyson.

Conflict: He is summoned by his father.

Finish: Is furious with Viktor for getting the better of him.

Open Loop: How will Jacob react to his loss?

Mystery: Who called him?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Jacob’s counterplot against Viktor and Maya for his loss.

INT-GYM-DAY: Secret

Description: During her morning workout, Maya gets a call from someone called Tara. She contemplates answering it, but lets it go to voicemail instead. She listens to the voicemail, which says that he wandered out of the house and got hit by a car. He’s unconscious and in bad shape. Can she help?

Maya is upset and cuts her workout short, hopping into the shower instead.

Maya gets a text from Tara- I know you hate him, but do you want him to die? Maya calls Tara and says she’ll do it, but she does not want to see him.

Start: Maya is in the gym and gets a call from someone named Tara.

Challenging Situation: A part of her wants to answer it, but she doesn’t want to.

Conflict: Someone she knows has been in an accident.

Finish: Maya cuts her workout short and hops in the shower.

Open Loop: Who is Tara? Who’s in the hospital?

Mystery: Who is he that she doesn’t care about?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Maya’s past.

EXT-DELI-DAY: Hidden Layer

Description: Viktor stops at a deli on his way to work. He stands in line for coffee and sees an analyst from his office waiting for him. The analyst says that he needed to talk to Viktor out of the office and knew he could find him here. He starts talking about a personal situation, but the owner of the deli comes up to Viktor just then and admonishes him for standing in line.

He then tells the analyst how Viktor stood up to gang members once and saved him from being killed. He leaves out the part where Viktor killed the gang members, instead.

Viktor is walking into a deli. An analyst from his office is waiting for him. The deli owner shares a story about Viktor’s childhood.

Start: Viktor is going to get coffee.

Challenging Situation: One of his analysts is waiting for him.

Conflict: The analyst wants to talk about something that’s troubling him.

Finish: The deli owner ends up telling him a story from Viktor’s childhood.

Open Loop: What is Viktor’s secret past?

Mystery: How did Viktor get into boxing?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: Maya has her revenge.

Irony:

Setup: Viktor’s past.

EXT-STREET-DAY: Strange Behavior

Description: As Viktor and the analyst leave the deli, the analyst comments on how bad the coffee is and asks Viktor why he chooses to go there every day. Viktor tells him how the deli owner would cheer him up with a donut when he was bullied as a kid. That taught him to be loyal.

He asks the analyst what he wanted to talk about. The analyst hesitates and then brings up a deal about PrimaCorp.

Viktor tells the analyst why he gets coffee from the deli everyday even though it’s bad. Wants to know what he wants to talk about. The analyst hesitates briefly and then brings up PrimaCorp.

Start: Viktor and the analyst walk out of the deli. The analyst comments on how shitty the coffee is.

Challenging Situation: Viktor tells him a backstory of why he gets his daily coffee from the deli despite it not being good.

Conflict: Viktor harps on loyalty and the analyst is affected. Why?

Finish: Viktor wants to know more about PrimaCorp. He asks the analyst why he couldn’t talk in the office.

Open Loop: What is the analyst hiding?

Mystery: What is Viktor’s past?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT-OFFICE-DAY: Strange Behavior

Description: Maya and Viktor are in the office and in a meeting for an IPO that is launching in the next few days. Viktor is not satisfied with the pricing and wants to push it up. Maya is distracted, which annoys him.

Maya gets another text from Tara during the meeting. It says Tara knows Maya hates him, but enough to let him die? She is in a position to help, so will she?

Viktor and Maya are in a meeting with DriveNXT. IPO going live in a few days.

Start: Viktor and Maya are in the office and in an important meeting.

Challenging Situation: An IPO is launching in two days.

Conflict: The pricing is unsatisfactory to Viktor, Maya is distracted, which annoys him more.

Finish: Maya gets a text from Tara asking if she wants him to die. Will she help?

Open Loop: What has Maya so distracted?

Mystery: Who is Tara?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Maya’s past.

INT-CABIN-DAY: Secret

Description: Maya steps out of the meeting and goes into her cabin. She calls Tara back and tells her that she will help, but she doesn’t want to see him. Nor does she want anyone to know she helped.

She asks her assistant for the number of the head of a hospital and calls. Wants the best care for him.

Open Loop: Who is Tara? Who is in the hospital?

Mystery: What has her so concerned?

Empathy/Distress: The situation has her really distressed.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Maya’s past.

INT-HOME-DAY: Wound

Description: Jacob pulls up into the driveway of a palatial mansion. He rings the bell and is greeted by a butler. As he walks into a library, he tenses up, but proceeds to walk in.

An older man is seated a large desk. Jacob pulls up a chair and sits down. The older man berates him for fucking up the Tyson deal and wants to know how he plans to get back at Viktor, if he has the balls for it. He wants to know if Jacob needs a reminder in fucking people, or if he’s decided to just bend over and get fucked, as always?

Jacob is sitting with an older man, who is berating him and wants to know if he needs a reminder in how to fuck people. Jacob gets angry and leaves.

Start: Jacob is in a mansion, talking to his father.

Challenging Situation: The father is upset with the losses because of Tyson Electric.

Conflict: He threatens Jacob with consequences and reminds him of how he got his scar. Jacob can be replaced.

Finish: Jacob storms out with the assurance that he’ll handle things.

Open Loop: Was Jacob abused by his father?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.

INT-CAR-DAY: Conspiracy

Description: Jacob leaves the house. Furious with his father’s diatribe, he makes a call to someone called Eddie and wants to know where they are with their inside guy. Eddie replies that he’s hesitating. Jacob wants him nailed down now. Break him if necessary. They have to move.

As he drives, Jacob makes a phone call and asks the person where they are with Derek. The person gives him an update. Jacob asks him to step on it, he wants more information and how Tyson Electric slipped through.

Start: Jacob is driving back to his office.

Challenging Situation: He needs to figure out a way of getting back at Viktor and makes call.

Conflict: He wants more information from an inside source.

Finish: Asserts that the source can be ‘broken’ if he doesn’t cooperate.

Open Loop: Who is Derek?

Mystery: How will Derek help Jacob?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.

INT-OFFICE-DAY: Wound

Description: Viktor walks into Maya’s cabin and demands to know why she left the IPO call. Maya is upset by his belligerence and tells him that she needs some time. Viktor gets more annoyed and tells her that they can’t fuck up this deal. It’s big and needs their attention. He wants to know what she’s preoccupied with that she can’t focus on the business at hand.

Maya tells him that she’ll let him in when she’s ready and not at all if he behaves like an asshole. She storms out.

Viktor checks on Maya.

Start: After getting the text from Tara, Maya is disturbed and does not rejoin the board meeting. Viktor wraps up and goes into her cabin.

Challenging Situation: Viktor is upset at her skipping out on the meeting.

Conflict: Maya is in a pensive mood and retorts angrily to his questioning.

Finish: Viktor leaves, angry, when Maya tells him that it’s none of his business.

Open Loop: What is Maya hiding?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: A clash between Viktor and Maya, strain on their marriage.

INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY: Strange Behavior

Description: A furious Viktor goes back to his office and calls his assistant in to go over his day. He tells her to schedule a meeting with someone called Claire Logan, who’s been trying to get on the books with him for a while.

Viktor summons his assistant to go over his schedule and sets a time for dinner with a Claire.

Start: Viktor is arranging his daily schedule and has a late-night dinner with a woman named Claire.

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Finish: Looks up Claire’s profile and seems happy.

Open Loop: Is Viktor cheating on Maya?

Mystery: Who is Claire?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT-OFFICE-DAY: Strange Behavior

Description: The analyst who had coffee with Viktor gets a text with instructions on meeting with someone that night. He is so shaken by it that he has to rush into the bathroom and throw up. But the person is insistent and presses him to confirm. Sends him a picture of his wife, shopping.

Derek crumbles and agrees to meet.

An analyst at Viktor and Maya’s office gets a text. Meet tonight.

Start: The analyst who had coffee with Viktor gets a text from an unknown party.

Challenging Situation: The text shakes the analyst, Derek.

Conflict: He replies that he can’t, but the unknown party threatens to spill his secret.

Finish: Derek unhappily agrees to meet.

Open Loop: What is the matter with the analyst?

Mystery: How is his wife connected?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Betrayal of Viktor and Maya.

EXT-PARK-NIGHT: Conspiracy

Description: Derek is on a park bench. Another man walks up and sits at the other end of the bench. He begins talking to Derek discreetly and wants him to pass on information regarding the DriveNXT IPO. IS there any weakness in the deal?

Derek is hesitant, but the stranger wonders what his wife will say when she finds out that Derek has mortgaged their house to pay his gambling debts, but still needs money. If he does this for them, his debts will be cleared and his wife needn’t find out. Derek folds and tells him about a safety report that was covered up at DriveNXT and a whistleblower who was let go of to safeguard the secret.

Derek is sitting on a bench with Eddie. Conversation about passing on information from Viktor’s office. Blackmail about his gambling debt, house mortgaged and revealing it to his wife. What deal is going down now? Any weaknesses?

Start: Derek is meeting with Eddie.

Challenging Situation: Eddie is pressing him for more information regarding Viktor’s deals.

Conflict: Derek wants out, but Eddie is unrelenting and blackmails him.

Finish: Derek reveals something about DriveNXT.

Open Loop: Will the DriveNXT IPO be put in jeopardy?

Mystery: What is Derek’s secret?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.

EXT-CAFÉ-NIGHT: Hidden Agenda

Description: Viktor is at a business dinner with Claire Logan, who wants his company to invest in her startup. Viktor is interested but needs to know more. Asks her to come to their office for a more formal meeting next week.

When she excuses herself to the ladies’ room, he slips something in her drink. She comes back and finishes her drink and he suggests that it just struck him that they can go over some stuff right away instead of waiting. How about going back to the office now? She agrees and they leave.

But someone is secretly following him.

Viktor is having dinner incognito with Claire. Slips something in her drink when she goes to the ladies’ room. Pays with cash and they leave. Someone is photographing/following them.

Start: Viktor meets Claire for dinner and discusses her proposal for investment.

Challenging Situation: Something’s on his mind. Asks about her family and friends, who she lives with.

Conflict: Claire is upset about the personal questions.

Finish: He slips something into her drink when she goes to the ladies’ room.

Open Loop: Is Viktor a rapist? Who’s following him?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: something bad is going down. Viktor isn’t a good guy.

INT-HOSPITAL-NIGHT: Mystery

Description: Maya is in a hospital room, with another woman and at the bedside of an old man who is unconscious and hooked up to several machines. A doctor is telling her that they’re doing all they can, but it can go either way.

When he leaves, she turns to the other woman and tells her that she should get some sleep. A room has been arranged for her on another floor. Maya will stay for a while. The other woman, who is Tara, gives her a hug and tells her that she’s glad she changed her mind. Tara walks away. Maya sits down in a chair next to the old man’s bed and looks at him. She then begins talking to him, telling him how much she hates him. He’s her father.

Maya is at an old man’s beside. He’s unconscious, hooked up to machines.

Start: Maya is in a hospital room, looking at an old man.

Challenging Situation: He’s badly injured, unconscious and hooked up to several machines.

Conflict: The doctors say it doesn’t look hopeful.

Finish: Maya calls the old man dad and begins telling him how much she hated him.

Open Loop: Why does Maya hate her father?

Mystery: Why is she estranged from her family?

Empathy/Distress: Her father is between life and death.

Payoff: The sick man is her father.

Irony:

Setup: What is Maya’s past?

EXT-HOME-DAY: Hidden Layer

Description: As Maya begins to talk, we see her and Tara as children, standing outside a home with a man and a woman. The house has a notice of repossession and a marshal is sealing it up, ignoring the pleas of the man to give him more time. The woman is crying.

When the marshals leave, the man and woman lead the children to a diner. They order coffee and some ice cream for the children, counting out pennies to pay. He then reassures them that he will get the house back. But for a few days, Maya and her sister will have to stay with his friend, Dave.

As the children cry, the father and mother drop them off at Dave’s. Dave takes a liking to Maya and tells her that he’s going to take care of her good…

Flashback to childhood and losing home.

Start: Maya, Tara, mother and father looking at their home being repossessed.

Challenging Situation: They have nowhere to live.

Conflict: Maya is furious with her father and blames him for their situation.

Finish: She vows that she’ll never talk to him again.

Open Loop: Why does Maya hate her father?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.

INT-HOME-NIGHT: Mystery

Description: It’s 2 am. Viktor comes home and sees that Maya isn’t home. He texts her and hops in the shower. When he gets out, there’s no reply from her. He puts in a sex tape and begins watching it.

Viktor comes home late. Maya not there. Texts her. Doesn’t get a reply.

Start: Viktor comes home early in the morning after his dinner with Claire and sees that Maya is not home.

Challenging Situation: He texts her and gets a reply that she’s spending the night with a friend who needs her.

Conflict: He tells her about dinner with Claire.

Finish: He showers and watches a bondage video.

Open Loop: Did Viktor sleep with Claire?

Mystery: Why is Viktor watching a bondage video?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The strain on their marriage is growing.

EXT-HIGHWAY-NIGHT: Conspiracy

Description: Eddie is driving in his car on a highway, when he gets a call from Jacob, who wants an update on how the Derek meeting went. Eddie tells him that they have a promising lead and he’s on his way to chase it down. Jacob wants it to be done because the IPO is tomorrow.

Jacob tells him that he wants to fuck Viktor at any cost. Don’t let him down. Eddie promises to deliver.

Eddie is driving. Texts Jacob- promising lead, chasing it down.

Start: Eddie is on a highway, driving.

Challenging Situation: Jacob calls him and he lets him know he’s chasing down a promising lead.

Conflict: Jacob wants it to be done at any cost.

Finish: Eddie promises to deliver.

Open Loop: Will Eddie be able to track down the insider?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.

INT-STOCK EXCHANGE-DAY: Hidden Layer

Description: Viktor is on his way in the car the next morning and is trying to contact Maya, with no luck. He arrives at the Stock Exchange and meets the founders of DriveNXT. They’re there to ring the bell to signal the launch of their IPO.

Viktor and DriveNXT founders at the ringing of the bell, for their IPO launch. They head to a news interview. Viktor is trying to reach Maya with no luck.

Start: Viktor is prepping for the launch of the DriveNXT IPO.

Challenging Situation: Maya is MIA.

Conflict: She is not answering Viktor’s calls and texts.

Finish: Viktor goes to the SE without Maya and rings the bell.

Open Loop: Will Eddie track down the source in time to damage the IPO?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT-HOSPITAL-DAY: Deception

Description: Maya wakes up and realizes that she’s missed the SE bell-ringing. Tara comes in and tells her that she should go home for a while, Tara will take over. But Maya wants to stay and freshens up in the hospital. She meets with the head of the hospital who assures her that the best care is being given.

She texts Viktor with a good luck message and let shim know that she’s dealing with a situation and can’t join him.

Maya wakes up. Father still unconscious. Tara comes in and asks if she wants to go home and freshen up. Maya freshens up in the hospital and meets the head of the hospital. Texts Viktor good luck for the interview. Evades his question on where she is.

Start: Maya wakes up in the hospital.

Challenging Situation: Viktor has been trying to reach her for the DriveNXT launch.

Conflict: She does not feel up to working.

Finish: Lets Viktor know that she’s unable to make it, good luck.

Open Loop: When will Maya tell Viktor the truth?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Growing strain on Viktor and Maya’s marriage.

INT-NEWS STUDIO-DAY: Deception

Description: Viktor and the DriveNXT guys are at a news studio for an interview. He gets Maya’s text message but can’t do anything about it as the interview is about to begin.

They answer some questions on why their company is revolutionary. It goes well and they are pleased with it.

Viktor and the founders of DriveNXT have an interview to boost the IPO launch. They’re pleased with it.

Start: Viktor and the DriveNXT founders are plugging for their IPO in a news interview.

Challenging Situation: Viktor has to cover for Maya.

Conflict: He is furious with her, but has to focus.

Finish: The interview goes well and everyone is pumped with the early numbers.

Open Loop: Will Eddie find the insider in time to damage the IPO?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Strain on Viktor and Maya’s marriage.

EXT-TOWN-DAY: Conspiracy

Description: Eddie is in a small suburban town and is trying to locate a house. He gets directions and finds it.

Eddie is driving around a small suburban/rural town, asking for Steve Latham. Finds his house.

Start: Eddie is looking for a guy named Latham.

Challenging Situation: He’s never seen the guy before and doesn’t know how he looks.

Conflict: Jacob is desperate to find Latham.

Finish: Eddie finds his house.

Open Loop: Will Eddie find the insider in time to damage the IPO?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.

INT-HOME-DAY: Conspiracy

Eddie is in the house, talking to a guy who’s in his pyjamas and depressed. This is Todd Latham, the whistleblower from DriveNXT, whose life has been ruined by them.

Eddie convinces him to share documents he managed to hide away. This is the chance to save lives and get the truth out there. Latham hesitates as he has an NDA, but Eddie promises $2 million and relocation. He will never be found and he will get justice. Latham agrees and gives him a USB stick that he has hidden away.

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Finish: They are trying to figure out the next steps.

Open Loop: Will Eddie find the insider in time to damage the IPO?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Latham’s career was ruined because he spoke the truth.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.

INT-OFFICE-DAY: Conspiracy

Description: Jacob gets a call from Eddie that he has the information and will send it over in a secure transmission.

Eddie calls Jacob and says he has the papers.

Start: Eddie calls Jacob to tell him that they have the documents.

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Finish:

Open Loop: Will Jacob be able to damage the IPO?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.

INT-OFFICE-DAY: Conspiracy

Description: Jacob gets a copy of the documents from Eddie and calls a friendly reporter, Michael, to leak the documents. The reporter needs verification

Start: Jacob calls his broker and asks him to buy DriveNXT when it falls.

Challenging Situation: Jacob needs to convince the reporter to run the news immediately.

Conflict: The reporter tells him that he doesn’t want to get involved because he doesn’t want it tracked back to him, but will pass it on the right guy.

Finish: Jacob patches the reporter through to Latham as a confidential source and convinces the reporter to run it with comment, without delay.

Open Loop: Will Jacob damage the IPO?

Mystery: What is the relationship between Jacob and Michael?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.

INT-OFFICE-DAY: Hidden Layer

Description: Viktor and the DriveNXT founders are in his office, having lunch as they watch the numbers. His assistant tells him that he’s got a call from a Financial Times reporter. He tells her to say he’ll call back, but the reporter insists that it’s urgent.

When Viktor talks to him, the reporter tells him that he is in possession of evidence that DriveNXT is covering up a failed safety report. Does he have any comments? Viktor tries to dismiss it, but the reporter tells him that he has verifiable proof and is going with the story.

Viktor and founders are at lunch. The founders get a call from a reporter regarding a failed safety study that was covered up.

Start: Viktor and the DriveNXT founders are having a celebratory lunch. They get a call from a reporter seeking comment.

Challenging Situation: The founders try to clarify that the study was outdated.

Conflict: The reporter isn’t convinced.

Finish: The article will run immediately.

Open Loop: Will the IPO be damaged?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.

INT-OFFICE-DAY: Wound

Description: A news break begins playing on the TV that new evidence has come to light about a fudged safety report at DriveNXT. Viktor makes calls to the news studio to kill it, with no luck.

News break with documentary evidence that DriveNXT’s safety features are lacking and it was covered up to authorities.

Start: Jacob’s reporter friend gets the news broken through a colleague.

Challenging Situation: The IPO stock price is falling rapidly.

Conflict: Viktor and team are trying to get their stand across to news outlets, without success.

Finish: The price is falling into the red.

Open Loop: Will the IPO be damaged?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.

INT-OFFICE-DAY: Conspiracy

Description: Jacob watches the news with glee as the IPO begins to falter. He calls his prime and asks him to buy through the other channels.

He then calls Eddie and tells him to go ahead with Latham.

Jacob is watching the numbers fall. Hanson calls and says ready. Jacob says go.

Start: Jacob calls Hanson and asks him to buy.

Challenging Situation: Jacob goes against advice to not buy.

Conflict: He is advised by his team that any link to them will be dangerous.

Finish: He okays the buying of the stock anyway.

Open Loop: Why is Jacob buying stock of DriveNXT?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.

INT-HOME-DAY: Hidden Agenda

Description: As Latham packs up to leave, Eddie shoots him with a silenced gun and covers up his presence to make it look like suicide.

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: All loose ends are tied up.

Irony:

Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.

INT-OFFICE-DAY: Wound

Description: Viktor and the founders are forced to watch as the numbers fall disastrously. Trading is halted. He wants revenge.

Viktor and his team watch as the numbers keep falling. Someone is buying up large chunks of DriveNXT. The IPO is lost. Viktor has lost billions. He cannot contact Maya.

Start: Viktor and his team are shellshocked as the IPO numbers plunge.

Challenging Situation: Someone is buying up a majority share.

Conflict: Viktor tells his team to dump their share quickly even though they are his clients.

Finish: The IPO has tanked spectacularly.

Open Loop: How will Viktor respond to his loss?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Huge loss.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Viktor’s counterplot against Jacob.

INT-HOSPITAL-NIGHT: Wound

Description: Maya’s father’s vitals plunge. A crash team scrambles to revive him, but despite their best efforts, he dies.

Maya’s father slips into a coma. Dies. Her mother arrives.

Start: Maya’s father is still unconscious.

Challenging Situation: His vitals start plunging.

Conflict: A medical team tries to stabilize him.

Finish: He dies.

Open Loop: How will this affect Maya?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Impact on Maya and Viktor’s marriage and the company.

ACT 3

INT-OFFICE-DAY: Wound

Description: Viktor is in the office and the phone lines are choked with investors who are spooked by the collapse of the IPO. He does his best to reassure them that their investments are okay and that the company is safe from collapse. But where is Maya? He is upset with her absence at a crucial time for them. By the time he is done with the day, he is exhausted and thirsting for revenge against Jacob.

Viktor’s office is buzzing with calls from investors about the failed IPO. They are spooked.

Start: Viktor’s phone and the office phone are choked with calls from investors.

Challenging Situation: He has to reassure them that their investments are ok. The company won’t be affected by the IPO’s failure.

Conflict: Maya is missing.

Finish: Deals with all calls and is exhausted.

Open Loop: Will Viktor and maya’s company survive?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: They are in a bad spot because of Jacob.

Payoff:

Irony: This wouldn’t have happened if they hadn’t triggered the collapse of Tyson.

Setup: Will they seek revenge now?

INT-OFFICE-DAY: Wound

Description: Jacob’s father is at the office and tries to play down his victory against Viktor, antagonizing Jacob and leading to a war of words which results in his being forced to leave.

Jacob is gloating over his father.

Start: Jacob’s father has dropped in.

Challenging Situation: He tries to pull Jacob down a notch despite his success against Viktor.

Conflict: Jacob must remain calm, while gloating.

Finish: Jacob throws his father out when he antagonizes him too much.

Open Loop: Will Jacob’s father back off?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: Jacob has his revenge against Viktor

Irony: His win hasn’t appeased his father, whose goading pushed him to it.

Setup: What will his next move be?

INT-HOSPITAL-DAY: Wound

Description: Maya is at her parents’ house and must console Tara and her mother, who are inconsolable. As hard as it is for her, Maya must let go of her anger toward her parents in the moment. An emotional dam breaks as Maya and her mother reunite after her father’s death.

Maya and her mother and Tara are emotional from the father’s death and the reunion after years.

Start: Maya is at her parents’ home.

Challenging Situation: Her father has just died and her mother and sister are inconsolable.

Conflict: Maya is trying to let go of her old emotions towards her parents.

Finish: Maya and her mother and Tara bond.

Open Loop: Is Maya back with her family for good?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Her father has died without her being able to talk to him after all those years.

Payoff:

Irony: She regrets the years of estrangement.

Setup:

EXT-STREET-DAY: Conspiracy

Description: The mole in Viktor’s office turns out to be Derek, the analyst. He meets with Eddie, Jacob’s right-hand man and wants out of their deal, but Eddie twists the knife and threatens to expose him to his family, and to Maya and Viktor for having already violated the NDA he has with them. Torn between his loyalty to Viktor and Maya, and his fear of being ruined, Eddie gives in and agrees to keep feeding Eddie information. HE shares details of the next big deal on the plate, PrimaCorp.

Derek meets Eddie. Wants out as he delivered. Eddie says they’re just getting started. The threat remains. What’s next? PrimaCorp.

Start: Derek is the mole in Viktor’s office. He meets Eddie.

Challenging Situation: He wants out, but Eddie isn’t ready to listen.

Conflict: His sense of loyalty and gratitude for Viktor and Maya clash with being blackmailed.

Finish: Eddie crushes him by threatening exposure to Viktor as well as his family and jail time for violating his NDA with Viktor.

Open Loop: Will Derek continue spying or will he crumble?

Mystery: What does Eddie have over Derek?

Empathy/Distress: Derek is torn by his betrayal.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Will PrimaCorp be the new battle for Jacob and Viktor?

INT-OFFICE-DAY: Wound

Description: Viktor is furious at being blindsided and allowing Latham to be taken so easily. But the bigger issue is that there’s a leak in the office and they need to find and plug it. But he’s stretched without Maya and is angry at her unexplained and continuing absence. His firefighting efforts continue with multiple interviews to the press, trying to dismiss the leaked revelations as inaccurate.

Viktor is angry. He wants to know how they got blindsided and how someone got to Latham. The news is all about DriveNXT and the losses are huge. Where the fuck is Maya?

Start: Viktor is angry that they got blindsided so badly and allowed their insider to get compromised.

Challenging Situation: Maya cannot be located. There is a leak in the office.

Conflict: Viktor is trying to reach Maya and is furious with her for abandoning the company at this time. He is trying to find out who in the office leaked information to Jacob about Latham.

Finish: Viktor finishes giving comments to a reporter about DriveNXT’s safety. Tries again to reach Maya.

Open Loop: Will Viktor stumble upon Derek?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Hunt for the mole, stress between Maya and Viktor.

EXT-WATERSIDE-NIGHT: Conspiracy

Description: Viktor calls Jason a burner and asks to talk somewhere safe. When they meet, Jason appraises Viktor that the situation is grim. They still have no idea how deeply their communications and information are compromised and is working to find out. But for now, they must assume that anyone could be the mole and that the rot is deep.

Viktor and Jason talk. Mole in the office, spyware. Everything could be exposed. Texts Maya- need to talk.

Start: Jason texts Viktor on his burner that they need to talks somewhere safe.

Challenging Situation: Their communications could be compromised.

Conflict: They do not know how badly they’ve been compromised. Need to find out.

Finish: Jason and Viktor decide that all employees must be followed and all communications must be tapped. They have to go deep.

Open Loop: Will they apprehend Derek?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: What else is compromised?

INT-HOME-NIGHT: Wound

Description: Maya returns home to pack a bigger bag, intending to return to her mother’s side and is confronted by an angry Viktor for abandoning the ship. As she tries to explain the developments of the past 24 hours and states that she is unable to hop back into the ring just yet, he accuses her of conniving with Jacob to bring him down. Maya is furious with him for doubting her loyalty and walks out, but end sup calling Jacob for emotional support.

Maya is home to pack a bag. Viktor confronts her. Fight. He accuses her of betraying him and passing on information to Jacob. Maya storms out and heads back to mother’s house. Calls Jacob- need a friend. Jacob will meet her.

Start: Maya is home, packing.

Challenging Situation: Viktor confronts her.

Conflict: Maya is torn between her duty to the company and wanting to spend time with her family. When she says she cannot go into work, Viktor accuses her of conniving with Jacob.

Finish: Maya walks out and calls Jacob for support.

Open Loop: Will Maya and Viktor’s marriage end?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Maya’s father died and Viktor doesn’t sympathize.

Payoff:

Irony: His behavior is driving Maya to Jacob.

Setup: Will Viktor and Maya get back?

INT-OFFICE-NIGHT: Deception

Description: A conflicted Derek returns to the office late at night and plants the spyware that Eddie has forced him to. He is ashamed at having betrayed Viktor and his family, but has no choice now and must go all the way and see his betrayal through to the bitter end.

Derek plugs his phone in to his desktop to charge.

Start: Derek sneaks into the office late at night.

Challenging Situation: He needs to plant spyware as instructed by Eddie.

Conflict: He is ashamed at betraying Viktor and his family.

Finish: He hesitates, but does what he has to.

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Derek is conflicted.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: What information will be compromised now?

INT-OFFICE-NIGHT: Hidden Agenda

Description: As Derek plants the spyware as he’s been instructed to, it’s celebration time in Jacob’s office as they access Viktor’s data and communications. The goal is to find out which deals Viktor is betting big on and hijack or sabotage them.

Jacob’s office- They’re into Viktor’s servers and comms.

Open Loop: Jacob’s vendetta against Viktor continues.

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Further battles.

ACT 4

INT-OFFICES-DAY: Conspiracy

Description: Several news reporters get anonymous information about a juicy newsbreak that day. They are given a time and place to get to.

Several members of the press get calls promising a juicy story at a certain time and place.

Open Loop: Who gave the reporters the tip?

Mystery: Why did they tip the reporters?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Conflict between Viktor and Maya.

EXT-CEMETERY-MORNING: Wound

Description: As Maya and her family are at the cemetery for her father’s funeral, Viktor shows up, uninvited. When he sees Jacob by Maya’s side, he is enraged and gets into an argument with Maya and in a moment of aggression, pushes her to the ground. A scuffle breaks out between him and Jacob as he steps in to help Maya and get Viktor to back off. The press, who got the anonymous tip, gleefully lap the story up and splash it over the news.

Maya’s father’s funeral. Viktor shows up uninvited and gets into an argument with Maya. She ends up falling and the press laps it up. Jacob is there and helps Maya, which antagonizes Viktor and he punches Jacob.

Start: Maya and her family are at the cemetery for her father’s funeral. Viktor joins, uninvited.

Challenging Situation: Jacob is present and by Maya’s side.

Conflict: Maya cold-shoulders Viktor. Enraged, he gets into an argument with her and ends up pushing her. As the press capture the face-off, Jacob steps in.

Finish: Maya, her family and Jacob leave.

Open Loop: Who gave the reporters the tip?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Maya’s father’s funeral is impacted by Viktor and Jacob’s rivalry.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: More estrangement between Viktor and Maya.

INT-OFFICE-DAY: Hidden Layer

Description: When Viktor returns to the office from the debacle at the funeral, he is greeted by the police, who are waiting to question him and his staff about Claire Logan, a woman with whom he had a dinner meeting a few days ago. Viktor answers their questions, but conceals the fact that he and Claire left the restaurant to go someplace else after their dinner meeting. The police leave, but promise to be back if they need further information.

The police walk in to Viktor’s office to question him regarding a Claire Logan, whom he met for dinner a few days ago. He denies any knowledge of what happened after dinner.

Start: Viktor is back in the office from the funeral and the police come in to the office, wanting to speak with him.

Challenging Situation: They want to question him and staff regarding the disappearance of Claire, whom he met for dinner recently.

Conflict: Viktor conceals the fact that he left the restaurant together with Claire to go elsewhere.

Finish: The police leave and will be back if they need more information.

Open Loop: What happened to Claire?

Mystery: Is Viktor involved?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Trouble for Viktor.

EXT-STREET-DAY: Conspiracy

Description: Derek calls Eddie to let him know that the police were just in the office to question Viktor and others about Claire Logan.

Derek calls Eddie and lets him know about the police coming to the office asking about Claire.

Open Loop: Will Jacob use this information to hurt Viktor more?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT-OFFICE-NIGHT: Conspiracy

Description: Viktor steps out of the office to call Jason on a burner phone and asks to meet.

Viktor calls Jason on burners- meet.

Open Loop:

Mystery: Why does Viktor want to meet Jacob secretly again?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

EXT-STREET-NIGHT: Conspiracy

Description: Viktor tells Jason about the police visit when they meet and wants Brooklyn to be secured. They’re not sure if Jacob knows, but they cannot risk him or the police finding out. To make sure this doesn’t happen, Jason assures Viktor that he’s going to go on a fishing trip right away.

Viktor and Jason meet in secret.

Start: Viktor tells Jason about the recent police visit.

Challenging Situation: Something critical that is at risk of exposure needs to be concealed.

Conflict: They are unsure of how much Jacob knows, but need to take the chance so that the police don’t find out.

Finish: Jason will go on a fishing trip.

Open Loop: What is in Brooklyn that needs to be concealed?

Mystery: What is the fishing trip for?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The secret in Brooklyn

INT-DOMINATRIX CHAMBER-NIGHT: Wound

Description: Viktor leaves Jason and goes to visit his dominatrix. As she binds, gags and whips him, promising him the pain he craves, Viktor asks for more. He has a flashback to his childhood, of being hidden in a closet, looking on in horror at a woman whipping a man. The memory collides with thoughts about the IPO sabotage, Maya’s betrayal and the police visit. BY the end of his session, Viktor is charged up and fortifies himself with a snort of amphetamine. He goes back to the office and starts making plans about bouncing back with the PrimaCorp deal.

Viktor is getting whipped by a dominatrix, who tells him he’s going to get the pain he deserves. He keeps asking for more. Why? Flashback to his childhood. Trapped in a closet, watching a woman whip a man.

Start: Viktor is bound, gagged and getting whipped.

Challenging Situation: Flashbacks of childhood memories.

Conflict: Jacob, Maya, DriveNXT, the police visit, they all intertwine in his head.

Finish: He snorts amphetamine after the session and puts on his suit, ready to do battle. Calls Julius about PrimaCorp.

Open Loop: Who is the woman Viktor has flashbacks of?

Mystery: Was the memory responsible for Viktor going to see dominatrices?

Empathy/Distress: Viktor had a traumatic childhood?

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: PrimaCorp.

EXT- WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Mystery

Description: A car pulls up behind an abandoned warehouse and a lone, masked man gets out. He surveys the area around the warehouse and when he sees that it is fully deserted and there’s no one around, he proceeds to climb up the fire escape to an upper floor.

A masked figure peers around a corner to see if anyone is watching a warehouse he wants to enter. His gaze lingers on the few vehicles parked around, but there is no movement. He proceeds to enter the warehouse through a fire escape at the back.

Open Loop: Who is the masked man?

Mystery: What is in the warehouse?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The secret in the warehouse.

INT-CAR-NIGHT: Imminent threat

Description: Unseen by the masked man, someone is watching the warehouse from a car parked a couple of blocks away. The car has one occupant, who is watching a video of a masked, chained figure on a laptop in the passenger seat. He has seen the masked man.

Someone is watching from the car.

Open Loop: Who is the watcher?

Mystery: What is the video he’s watching?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The masked man’s apprehension.

INT- WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Mystery

Description: The masked man reaches the floor he wants to enter and proceeds to do so through a window. IT is dark inside and he turns on a flashlight that is covered to emit the least amount of light for him to pick his way through. He crosses the large room he is in and neters a smaller room on the far side.

The masked man climbs in through a window and turns on a hooded flashlight. Dim glow lights up the large room. He walks to the other side of the room and enters a smaller one.

Open Loop: Who is the masked man?

Mystery: What is in the warehouse?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: What is in the next room.

EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Imminent Threat

Description: The man who is watching the warehouse gets out of his car and quickly covers the ground between him and the masked man’s car. He gets on the ground, rolls under the car and attaches a device to the undercarriage of the car. He then rolls back out and quickly gets back to his car.

A figure sneaks out of the watching van and makes his way to the masked man’s van. Rolls underneath and rolls back out after a few seconds. Makes his way back to the car.

Open Loop: Who is the watcher?

Mystery: What did he do under the masked man’s car?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT-CAR-NIGHT: Mystery

Back inside his car, the watcher settles in and continues watching the live stream on his laptop.

The watcher is looking at a live stream on a laptop inside the car.

Open Loop: Who is the watcher?

Mystery: What is he watching?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT- WAREHOUSE ROOM-NIGHT: Hidden Layer

Inside the warehouse, the masked man enters the smaller room. He flicks a light switch and a small fluorescent light turns on. It illuminates a masked and chained figure in the middle of the room. The figure isn’t moving.

The man takes off the mask from the figure. It’s Claire.

Open Loop: Did Viktor kill Claire?

Mystery: Is the masked man Viktor?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: The masked and chained figure is Claire. This is the video the watcher has been seeing.

Irony:

Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.

INT-CAR-NIGHT: Conspiracy

Back inside his car, the watcher sees the man unmasking the dead body. HE texts someone It’s her.

Open Loop: Who is the watcher?

Mystery: How is he able to watch what’s happening in the warehouse? Who did he text?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The watcher is part of a larger plot. Who is he conspiring with?

INT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Mystery

Description: The masked man puts down the duffel bag on his back and proceeds to pull out a plastic tarp and some tools from it. He lays down the plastic on the floor, puts on a pair of overalls and safety glasses. He unhooks the body and lays it on the plastic. HE then picks up one of the tools, which happens to be an electric saw and proceeds to start cutting up the body.

Man enters room. His light shines on a masked, chained figure. He lays down a plastic sheet, unchains the figure and proceeds to cut up the body. He finishes cutting up the body.

Open Loop: Did Viktor kill Claire?

Mystery: Is the masked man Viktor?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Subsequent blackmail or exposure.

EXT-WAREHOSUE-NIGHT: Mystery

The watcher’s dashboard clock shows that forty-five minutes have passed since the masked man entered the building.

Open Loop: Why is the watcher recording this? What will he do with it?

Mystery: Who is the watcher?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.

INT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Mystery

Description: The masked man wraps up the plastic and stuffs it into the bag. He packs the tools and the overalls in a smaller bag and picks it up. Walks out into the bigger room.

Wraps up the plastic sheet and loads up a large duffel bag. Shoulders it and walks out.

Open Loop: Did Viktor kill Claire?

Mystery: Is the masked man Viktor?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.

INT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Strange Behavior

Description: At the far end of the large room, the masked man pauses at a junction box and opens it up. He pulls out a couple of wires and sparks them. A fire starts up. He picks up the bag on the floor and proceeds to climb out of the window onto the fire escape. He then closes the window and climbs down the fire escape.

The man pulls out a bunch of wires from an old junction box. Sparks them. A fire starts up.

Open Loop: Did Viktor kill Claire?

Mystery: Is the masked man Viktor? Why is he burning the warehouse?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.

EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Mystery

He exits the warehouse from the fire escape.

Open Loop: Will the masked man be caught?

Mystery: Is the masked man Viktor?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.

INT-CAR-NIGHT: Imminent threat

A hand grips the steering wheel and another gets ready to turn on the ignition.

Open Loop: Will the masked man be caught?

Mystery: Is the masked man Viktor?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.

EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Imminent Threat

The masked man jogs to his car, pops the trunk and loads his bags into it. He gets into the car, starts it and drives out of the alleyway. Above him, a window shatters and flames appear from it.

The man jogs quickly to his vehicle, loads the duffel bag into the trunk.

Open Loop: Will the masked man be caught?

Mystery: Is the masked man Viktor?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.

EXT-CAR-NIGHT: Imminent Threat

Description: The watcher starts following the masked man’s car at a very discreet distance.

Man drives away. The van pulls out and starts tailing him discreetly.

Open Loop: Will the masked man be caught?

Mystery: Why is the watcher following him instead of apprehending him?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.

EXT-DARK ROAD-NIGHT

Description: The masked man’s car is speeding along dark and deserted country roads. The watcher’s car tails him at a safe distance so he cannot be seen.

The car drives along a lonely road.

Open Loop: Will the masked man be caught?

Mystery: Where is he driving to?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.

EXT-SEASIDE-NIGHT: Mystery

Description: The masked man reaches the ocean and an old jetty that has a boat moored to it. HE loads his bags into the boat and sets out. He goes a fair distance, dumps the bags and watches them sink before turning around and making his way back to the shore. HE sends a text from a burner- Mermaid away – and then disposes of the phone in the water.

The man reaches a boat tied to an old jetty. He loads the duffel bag in the boat and casts off. Goes a little bit and dumps the bag. Turns around comes back ashore. Drives away.

Open Loop: Will the masked man be caught?

Mystery: Who did he text?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: He was planning to dump the body. That’s why he drove here.

Irony:

Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.

INT-CAR-NIGHT

Description: The masked man gets into his car and takes his mask off. It’s Jason. He sends a text and drives away.

Man sends a text- Mermaid away.

Open Loop: Why is Jason here? Did he kill Claire?

Mystery: Who did he text?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.

INT-CAR-NIGHT

Description: The watcher’s car is parked on a dirt track a short distance away. He is watching the masked man’s car drive away on a tracking device.

A long distance away, the man following the van watches a dot blinking on a tracking device.

Open Loop: Will Jason be caught?

Mystery: Why is the watcher just tailing him?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: He planted a tracking device when he went under the masked man’s car.

Irony:

Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.

ACT 5

INT-BOXING RING-MORNING: Hidden Layer

Description: Jacob drops by the boxing ring as Viktor trains. He tells Viktor that he shouldn’t have meddled with the Tyson Electric deal and that whatever has happened since then is only a fallout of that. He’s had enough of Viktor’s scheming against him and is going to do something about it for good.

He tells viktor that the IPO was just the beginning and Jacob now has the goods to take out Viktor completely, including driving Maya away from him and back to Jacob. There’s nothing that Viktor can do, because if he tries to resist, then the world will know about Claire.

Jacob drops in. Confrontation between him and Viktor. Jacob vows that this is just the beginning. Maya is going to be his again and, he knows about Brooklyn.

Start: Viktor is shadow-boxing early in the morning.

Challenging Situation: Jacob walks in to the gym and approaches him.

Conflict: Jacob threatens Viktor with blackmail about Brooklyn.

Finish: Jacob vows that he’s going to destroy him completely and reclaim Maya.

Open Loop: What is Jacob’s next move?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: The watcher was connected to Jacob.

Irony:

Setup: Viktor’s blackmail.

INT-GYM-DAY: Conspiracy

Description: When Jacob leaves, Viktor jumps out of the ring and goes to his locker. He takes out a burner phone and sends a text to an unknown number. He knows. Need to know how much.

After Jacob leaves, Viktor texts from a burner phone. Laundry dirty. Anything else to go in the bag?

Open Loop: Who did Viktor text?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT-HOME-DAY: Deception

Description: After his face off with Viktor, Jacob drops in on Maya to check on her. Maya tells him that her father’s death has shown her that holding grudges doesn’t pay off and she’s thinking about making an effort to resolve her differences with Viktor. He’s got issues, but isn’t a monster. Jacob is conflicted as he listens to Maya think about going back to Viktor and asks her to come with him as he has something to show her.

Maya and Jacob leave for an unknown destination.

Start: Jacob comes to Maya’s mother’s house to check on her.

Challenging Situation: Maya is still upset with Viktor.

Conflict: Maya wonders if she should work with Viktor on solving their differences. Jacob is conflicted as he sees her swaying. He cannot let her go back.

Finish: Jacob asks Maya to take a drive with him to show her something important.

Open Loop: Will Jacob tell Maya about Viktor/Claire?

Mystery: does Maya really want to get back with Viktor?

Empathy/Distress: She is torn about her marriage.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT-APARTMENT-DAY: Wound

Description: Jacob brings Maya over to his apartment and shows her the photos and tape from the Brooklyn warehouse. Maya is shattered to find out that Viktor is a killer and tells Jacob that she can never go back to Viktor now. Jacob assures her that he’ll do everything he can to keep her safe and that together, they can figure out a way to bring down Viktor without harming her, or her family.

Jacob shows Maya the tape. Viktor is a killer.

Start: Jacob and Maya are in his apartment.

Challenging Situation: He shows her the photos and tape of the body in Brooklyn.

Conflict: Maya is shattered. She breaks down and Jacob comforts her.

Finish: Maya decides that she can never go back to Viktor. She’s afraid because he’s a killer.

Open Loop: Will Maya and Viktor’s marriage end? Will Jacob expose Viktor to the authorities?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: Jacob reveals the truth to Maya.

Irony:

Setup: Viktor’s exposure.

INT-HOME-NIGHT: Conspiracy

Description: Viktor is in the office by himself when he gets a text on his burner. He reads it and calls Jason. He tells him that they’re going to war.

Viktor gets a text – he knows everything.

Viktor texts back- then it’s war.

Viktor texts Jason- it’s go time with PrimaCorp.

Open Loop: Will Viktor be exposed?

Mystery: Who texted him?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The battle between Viktor and Jacob.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Scene Requirements

What I learned doing this assignment: the gaps in my outline/scenes are becoming clearer.

BEAT SHEET

Show Concept: Venture capital tycoon Viktor Brazhinsky and his wife Maya plot the downfall of a rival who plans to expose Viktor’s chilling secret — he’s a serial killer who’s never been caught…

Inciting Incident: The collapse of the Tyson Electric-Richardson gas station deal brought on by Viktor and Maya.

TEASER

INT- HOUSE- NIGHT:

A phone buzzes. It’s a text. Someone who’s watching TV checks it, turns off the TV and leaves.

EXT- WAREHOUSE-NIGHT:

A masked figure peers around a corner to see if anyone is watching a warehouse he wants to enter. His gaze lingers on the few vehicles parked around, but there is no movement. He proceeds to enter the warehouse through a fire escape at the back.

INT-CAR-NIGHT: Imminent threat

Someone is watching from a car about a block away. Dashboard clock shows time.

INT- WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Strange behavior

The masked man climbs in through a window and turns on a hooded flashlight. Dim glow lights up the large room. He walks to the other side of the room and enters a smaller one.

EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Imminent Threat

A figure sneaks out of the watching van and makes his way to the masked man’s van. Rolls underneath and rolls back out after a few seconds. Makes his way back to the car.

INT-CAR-NIGHT: Strange behavior

Someone is watching from a car about a block away. Dashboard clock shows an hour has elapsed.

EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Mystery

The masked man exits the warehouse from the fire escape.

INT-CAR-NIGHT: Imminent threat

A hand grips the steering wheel and another gets ready to turn on the ignition.

EXT-CAR-NIGHT: Mystery

The warehouse starts burning. Man drives away. The van pulls out and starts tailing him discreetly.

EXT-DARK ROAD-NIGHT: Mystery

The car drives along a lonely road.

EXT-SEASIDE-NIGHT:

The man reaches a boat tied to an old jetty. He loads the duffel bag in the boat and casts off. Goes a little bit and dumps the bag. Turns around comes back ashore. Drives away.

INT-CAR-NIGHT:

Man sends a text- Mermaid away.

EXT-WOODS-NIGHT:

The masked man pulls back into the woods, sets the car he was in on fire and gets back into his own car. Drives back home.

EXT-WOODS-NIGHT:

A short while after the masked man burns the car and drives away in his own, the watcher pulls up and sees that the car he was tailing is now a burnt ruin. He gets back in his car and texts an unknown recipient- lost trail, but have interesting home movie.

ACT 1

EXT-MANHATTAN-NIGHT:

Jacob gets into a helicopter. Swanson 1. Chopper takes off. Crowd noise OS.

Start: Jacob is talking to an aide in his car.

Challenging Situation: A big business deal is in the works, but a competitor looms.

Conflict: Jacob needs to decide whether to hold the deal, or go ahead.

Action: He overrides his aide’s concerns about the risk to the deal.

Finish: Jumps into his chopper.

EXT-MANHATTAN-NIGHT: Intriguing World

Chopper takes off. Aide hands over a file to Jacob. TYSON ELECTRIC on the folder.

Start: Jacob reads the deal folder in the chopper.

Challenging Situation: A big business deal is in the works, but a competitor looms.

Conflict: Jacob decides to extract information from his ex-lover about the rival deal.

Action: He calls an aide to find out if she’s at the awards gala.

Finish: Calls an organizer to become a presenter instead of xyz. Donates 100k as a bribe.

INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT:

Big crowd, seated at tables. Well dressed. A speaker talking on the stage. Maya texting. Where are you?

Start: Awards ceremony for XYZ Award.

Challenging Situation: Maya is trying to locate Viktor.

Conflict: Viktor is unreachable.

Action: She calls Jason.

Finish: No response from either. She is angry.

INT-LOCKER ROOM-NIGHT:

Phone lights up in a locker room. The text Maya sent- where are you? Crowd noise builds.

Start: Empty locker room in a gym, phone lights up in a locker with Maya’s message.

Challenging Situation: Angry texts from Maya.

Conflict: No one available to respond to her messages.

Action: Texts go unanswered.

Finish: Crowd going wild.

INT-CHOPPER-NIGHT:

Jacob asks his aide if “he’s’” there. Aide replies ‘negative’. Jacob-where the fuck is he?

Start: Jacob is trying to find out if Viktor’s at the awards ceremony.

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish: Viktor is missing.

INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT

Viktor kneeling and praying. Has a tattoo ‘Son of a whore’ on his back. Gets up and faces off with his opponent, a huge bear of a guy.

Start: Boxing ring, big crowd.

Challenging Situation: One of the fighters is gigantic.

Conflict: Viktor’s trainer is unsure if they should proceed.

Action: Viktor gets to his feet and takes his guard.

Finish: The bout begins

INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT

Maya is calling someone on her phone. No answer.

Start: Maya tries calling Viktor.

Challenging Situation: No response.

Conflict: The awards ceremony has begun.

Action: She leaves an angry voicemail.

Finish:

INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT

Opponent going at each other. Viktor is badly beaten up, but landing his own punches. Opponent taunts him about his mother and if she’s a whore. Viktor enraged and goes into overdrive.

Start: The two boxers are going hard at each other.

Challenging Situation: The bigger boxer has the upper hand.

Conflict: The bigger boxer begins taunting viktor about his tattoo and his mother

Action: Viktor lashes out hard.

Finish: The bigger boxer is suddenly on the ropes.

EXT-ROOFTOP HELIPAD-NIGHT

The chopper lands, Jacob gets out and is rushed in.

Start: Jacob lands at the awards ceremony.

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish: Is rushed in.

INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT

Jacob enters the awards gala where the woman is. She is taken aback to see him.

Start: Jacob walks in after the ceremony has begun.

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish: Maya is taken aback to see him.

INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT

Viktor wins, barely standing. Opponent is dead.

Start: The bigger boxer is almost down.

Challenging Situation: He tries to take Viktor down in a last attempt.

Conflict: Viktor must avoid his hook.

Action: Viktor ducks and responds with an uppercut.

Finish: The bigger boxer goes down.

INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT

Maya’s name is called, Jacob from the chopper presents her an award. Ceremony ends. They have a conversation, he flirts with her, she’s angry. They leave to get a drink at a bar.

Start: Jacob lands at the awards ceremony.

Challenging Situation: Jacob needs to find out about the rival deal that threatens Tyson Electric.

Conflict: Maya is hesitant to talk to him.

Action: He appeals to her to have just one drink for old times’ sake.

Finish: They head to the bar.

INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT

Viktor is being carried around. Then his trainer is patching him up in the locker room. Missed calls checked on phone. Tries calling Maya back.

Start: Viktor is celebrating his win in the match.

Challenging Situation: Becomes aware that Maya has been trying to reach him.

Conflict: He knows he fucked up by not being at the awards.

Action: He attempts to contact her.

Finish: leaves placatory messages.

INT-BAR-NIGHT

Maya’s phone buzzes. She looks at it, silences it and turns her phone facedown. Deep conversation between Jacob and Maya. They know each other from before.

Start: Maya and Jacob decide to head to a nearby bar from the awards ceremony.

Challenging Situation: Jacob needs to find out about the rival deal that threatens Tyson Electric, but Maya is awkward talking to him.

Conflict: Viktor is trying to reach Maya.

Action: Jacob asks her to choose him for a change.

Finish: Maya ignores Viktor’s calls and continues talking to Jacob.

INT-CAR-NIGHT

Viktor is being driven back home by his trainer.

Start: Jacob is in his car. Driver Jason starts talking about the match.

Challenging Situation: The conversation triggers traumatic memories for Viktor.

Conflict: He needs to focus on Maya. Tries reaching her again.

Action: Asks Jason to stop the car at a bodega.

Finish: Buys flowers and texts Maya that he’s on his way home.

INT-BAR-NIGHT

Jacob attempts to hold Maya’s hand, she doesn’t fight it. He volunteers to drop her home after they’re done with drinks

Start: Jacob tries to subtly play on Maya’s anger with Viktor and tries to kiss her.

Challenging Situation: Maya gets angry and decides to leave.

Conflict: What does she do?

Action: She tells him that she can’t right now.

Finish: Jacob begs to drop Maya home and Maya refuses.

EXT-DRIVEWAY-NIGHT

Both cars reach the same house. Viktor and Maya get down. Face each other. Maya turns away and walks into the house.

Start: Both cars reach home.

Challenging Situation: Maya is upset with Viktor.

Conflict: Will she accept Viktor’s gesture of peace?

Action: Viktor tries to give Maya the flowers.

Finish: Maya storms into the house.

INT-HOUSE-NIGHT

Viktor and Maya fight.

Start: Maya and Viktor storm inside.

Challenging Situation: Maya sees Viktor’s physical condition and is enraged. Viktor is furious about Jacob.

Conflict: Despite starting off with the goal of making peace, they feel antagonized again.

Action: They have a fight.

Finish: Sleep in separate bedrooms.

INT-GYM-DAY

Maya working out, trainer supervises workout. She gets a text, ‘lunch is on’.

Start: Maya is not at home, she’s at a gym.

Challenging Situation: Angry about the night’s events.

Conflict: Needs to keep focus.

Action: Punching bag? Something else?

Finish: Finishes workout and gets a text that lunch is on.

INT-LIVING ROOM-DAY

Viktor wakes up, note on the coffee table- see you at the office, told Anya to fix you up. Don’t ignore. Viktor gets ready, brushes away Anya, who wants to put makeup on his face to cover up bruises.

Start: Viktor wakes up and Maya is gone.

Challenging Situation: In pain from the match.

Conflict: Maya has left instructions he doesn’t like.

Action: Viktor ignores her instructions.

Finish: Sends away the make-up artist.

INT-SHOWER-DAY

Maya showering after workout, gets dressed, heads to car.

Start: Maya in the shower post-workout.

Challenging Situation: She is disturbed.

Conflict: Disturbing images from childhood. Being molested.

Action: Finishes shower.

Finish: Leaves gym.

EXT-STREET-DAY

Car reaches office tower, Maya exits, enters building.

Start: Maya calls Viktor from the car.

Challenging Situation: They’re both upset.

Conflict: To set aside their differences and plan for something important. But she is pissed at him ignoring her advice.

Action: They discuss plans for a mysterious lunch and also for their meetings.

Finish: Maya and Viktor reach the office.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Applause as Viktor and Maya enter. Cheers and handshakes. Viktor and Maya linger, then head to separate cabins.

Start: Maya and Viktor enter the office.

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action: They acknowledge their employees.

Finish: They go into their respective cabins.

INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY

Maya goes over schedule with assistant, emphasizes to switch her afternoon schedule as she’s meeting a friend, Nancy. Calls an employee in and asks to short shares of Tyson Electric. The employee asks why she’s interested in Tyson Electric? She then heads into Viktor’s cabin.

Start: Maya is going over the days calendar with her assistant.

Challenging Situation: The schedule needs rearranging due to a lunch appointment

Conflict: Needs to be vague about her interest in Tyson Electric.

Action: Decision conveyed.

Finish: Heads into Viktor’s office.

INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY

Viktor and Maya get on a video conference. DriveNXT founders, bank also on call. Discuss upcoming IPO.

Start: Viktor and Maya hop onto a conference.

Challenging Situation: An upcoming IPO is being discussed.

Conflict: The banks are underpricing them.

Action: Negotiation.

Finish: Agreement reached.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

After the IPO meeting, Maya tells Viktor that lunch is on. She leaves.

Start: Viktor and Maya wrap up the conference.

Challenging Situation: An upcoming crucial lunch is being discussed.

Conflict: Viktor doesn’t want her to go. They can handle it without it. Maya wants to go and tell someone to their face that he’s going to be fucked. She needs to do it.

Action: Viktor reluctantly agrees.

Finish: Maya is pumped to ‘take him down’.

INT-CAR-DAY

Maya pensive.

Start: Maya is on her way to lunch.

Challenging Situation: She wants to feel in control, but isn’t.

Conflict: Childhood memories of being molested?

Action: She lights a cigarette from a hidden stash, which she rarely does.

Finish: Tosses her cigarette and gets out of the car.

INT-ART GALLERY-DAY

Maya runs into Nancy. Expresses surprise, they talk. Maya invites herself to lunch. Texts Viktor ‘IN’.

Start: Maya is in an art gallery, browsing.

Challenging Situation: She runs into a childhood friend.

Conflict: The friend is in a hurry to go to lunch.

Action: Maya invites herself to lunch with Nancy.

Finish: They leave together.

INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY

Viktor- Replies Good Luck to Maya’s text of IN.

Start: Viktor is in meetings when Maya texts him after lunch.

Challenging Situation: Gets a text from Maya that lunch is on.

Conflict: Hesitates before replying.

Action: Replies with a good luck, ready to go.

Finish: He continues with his meetings.

INT-RESTAURANT-DAY

The two women meet with two men, one quite older. Hugs all around, they start talking. Maya rubs older man’s thigh under the table. She gets up to go to the ladies’ room, older man waits and follows.

Start: Maya is at lunch with Nancy, her husband and her father.

Challenging Situation: Maya is uncomfortable, but has her emotions under control.

Conflict: Nancy’s father seats himself next to her. She rubs his thigh under the table.

Action: She waits a few minutes and then excuses herself to the ladies’ room, with a signal to Nancy’s father.

Finish: She enters the ladies’ room and waits for him.

INT-LADIES’ ROOM-DAY

They get into a stall. He asks if she missed him and that’s why she’s here. She grabs his balls and threatens him. Walks out.

Start: Nancy’s father enters the stall.

Challenging Situation: He begins kissing her and asks if she missed him.

Conflict: Childhood memories flash.

Action: She grabs his balls and squeezes painfully. Tells him that he’s finished fucking young girls who don’t have a choice.

Finish: Shoves him away and walks out.

EXT-RESTAURANT-DAY

Maya texts Viktor – GO.

Start: Maya tells Nancy and her husband that she’s got to go, but good luck with the deal.

Challenging Situation: She’s struggling to breathe.

Conflict: Hesitates before sending a text.

Action: texts Viktor ‘GO’.

Finish: Lights a cigarette and gets into her car.

INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY

Viktor calls someone and asks them to do it. Texts Maya DONE.

Start: Viktor calls someone and tells them to proceed with the article.

Challenging Situation: He makes a second call on a burner phone and asks the person to start buying through the other account as decided.

Conflict: He wants to call Maya, but hesitates. Starts typing a text asking how she’s doing, but erases it.

Action: Goes ahead and calls her.

Finish: Tells her that it’s done.

INT-CAFÉ-DAY

Nancy and family at lunch.

Challenging Situation: Nancy’s father gets a call at lunch from a reporter about a news article that is scheduled to run shortly.

Conflict: He cannot discuss it freely with his family around and in a public place.

Action: Threatens to sue.

Finish: The reporter says they’re going ahead as they have solid proof.

INT-CAR-DAY

Maya’s driving.

Start: Maya’s phone begins buzzing.

Challenging Situation: She begins crying as she sees the news.

Conflict: Wants to control her emotions, but cannot.

Finish: Pulls over and bawls her eyes out.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

The TV news and phones in Viktor’s office begin buzzing with a video of Dave Richardson being a pedophile.

Start: The news hits the screens in Viktor’s office. Chaos as people try to figure out the implications.

Challenging Situation: Viktor needs to keep his cool and not give away that Maya and he are behind the news, or are profiting from it.

Conflict: Advises confidantes to buy more of EcoLabs.

Finish: The office celebrates as the rival deal collapses.

INT-BEDROOM-NIGHT

Maya is reading in bed. The news is about the collapse of the Tyson Electric deal with Richardsons. Maya texts Richardson- rot in prison, you bastard.

Start: Maya is home, in bed. Viktor walks in.

Challenging Situation: Viktor wants to comfort Maya.

Conflict: Maya pulls away and refuses his attention. Viktor walks away and hope in the shower, goes to sleep in a separate room.

Finish: Maya texts Nancy- hope all of you rot in hell for not stopping him. Nancy replies- fuck you.

ACT 2

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Jacob is watching the news of Tyson Electric’s collapse. The news talks about a rival company signing a deal with another national chain of gas stations. He gets a call from someone who wants to meet him. Gets so angry he hurls the phone at the wall.

Start: Jacob is watching the Tyson Electric deal collapse.

Challenging Situation: A rival company has announced its launch, instead of Tyson.

Conflict: He is summoned by his father.

Finish: Is furious with Viktor for getting the better of him.

INT-GYM-DAY

Maya gets a text from Tara- I know you hate him, but do you want him to die? Maya calls Tara and says she’ll do it, but she does not want to see him.

Start: Maya is in the gym and gets a call from someone named Tara.

Challenging Situation: A part of her wants to answer it, but she doesn’t want to.

Conflict: Someone she knows has been in an accident.

Finish: Maya cuts her workout short and hops in the shower.

EXT-DELI-DAY

Viktor is walking into a deli. An analyst from his office is waiting for him. The deli owner shares a story about Viktor’s childhood.

Start: Viktor is going to get coffee.

Challenging Situation: One of his analysts is waiting for him.

Conflict: The analyst wants to talk about something that’s troubling him.

Finish: The deli owner ends up telling him a story from Viktor’s childhood.

EXT-STREET-DAY

Viktor tells the analyst why he gets coffee from the deli everyday even though it’s bad. Wants to know what he wants to talk about. The analyst hesitates briefly and then brings up PrimaCorp.

Start: Viktor and the analyst walk out of the deli. The analyst comments on how shitty the coffee is.

Challenging Situation: Viktor tells him a backstory of why he gets his daily coffee from the deli despite it not being good.

Conflict: Viktor harps on loyalty and the analyst is affected. Why?

Finish: Viktor wants to know more about PrimaCorp. He asks the analyst why he couldn’t talk in the office.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Viktor and Maya are in a meeting with DriveNXT. IPO going live in a few days.

Start: Viktor and Maya are in the office and in an important meeting.

Challenging Situation: An IPO is launching in two days.

Conflict: The pricing is unsatisfactory to Viktor, Maya is distracted, which annoys him more.

Finish: Maya gets a text from Tara asking if she wants him to die. Will she help?

INT-CABIN-DAY

She asks her assistant for the number of the head of a hospital and calls. Wants the best care for him.

INT-HOME-DAY

Jacob is sitting with an older man, who is berating him and wants to know if he needs a reminder in how to fuck people. Jacob gets angry and leaves.

Start: Jacob is in a mansion, talking to his father.

Challenging Situation: The father is upset with the losses because of Tyson Electric.

Conflict: He threatens Jacob with consequences and reminds him of how he got his scar. Jacob can be replaced.

Finish: Jacob storms out with the assurance that he’ll handle things.

INT-CAR-DAY

As he drives, Jacob makes a phone call and asks the person where they are with Derek. The person gives him an update. Jacob asks him to step on it, he wants more information and how Tyson Electric slipped through.

Start: Jacob is driving back to his office.

Challenging Situation: He needs to figure out a way of getting back at Viktor and makes call.

Conflict: He wants more information from an inside source.

Finish: Asserts that the source can be ‘broken’ if he doesn’t cooperate.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Viktor checks on Maya.

Start: After getting the text from Tara, Maya is disturbed and does not rejoin the board meeting. Viktor wraps up and goes into her cabin.

Challenging Situation: Viktor is upset at her skipping out on the meeting.

Conflict: Maya is in a pensive mood and retorts angrily to his questioning.

Finish: Viktor leaves, angry, when Maya tells him that it’s none of his business.

INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY

Viktor summons his assistant to go over his schedule and sets a time for dinner with a Claire.

Start: Viktor is arranging his daily schedule and has a late-night dinner with a woman named Claire.

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Finish: Looks up Claire’s profile and seems happy.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Derek crumbles and agrees to meet.

An analyst at Viktor and Maya’s office gets a text. Meet tonight.

Start: The analyst who had coffee with Viktor gets a text from an unknown party.

Challenging Situation: The text shakes the analyst, Derek.

Conflict: He replies that he can’t, but the unknown party threatens to spill his secret.

Finish: Derek unhappily agrees to meet.

EXT-PARK-NIGHT

Derek is sitting on a bench with Eddie. Conversation about passing on information from Viktor’s office. Blackmail about his gambling debt, house mortgaged and revealing it to his wife. What deal is going down now? Any weaknesses?

Start: Derek is meeting with Eddie.

Challenging Situation: Eddie is pressing him for more information regarding Viktor’s deals.

Conflict: Derek wants out, but Eddie is unrelenting and blackmails him.

Finish: Derek reveals something about DriveNXT.

EXT-CAFÉ-NIGHT

Viktor is having dinner incognito with Claire. Slips something in her drink when she goes to the ladies’ room. Pays with cash and they leave. Someone is photographing/following them.

Start: Viktor meets Claire for dinner and discusses her proposal for investment.

Challenging Situation: Something’s on his mind. Asks about her family and friends, who she lives with.

Conflict: Claire is upset about the personal questions.

Finish: He slips something into her drink when she goes to the ladies’ room.

INT-HOSPITAL-NIGHT

Maya is at an old man’s beside. He’s unconscious, hooked up to machines.

Start: Maya is in a hospital room, looking at an old man.

Challenging Situation: He’s badly injured, unconscious and hooked up to several machines.

Conflict: The doctors say it doesn’t look hopeful.

Finish: Maya calls the old man dad and begins telling him how much she hated him.

EXT-HOME-DAY

Flashback to childhood and losing home.

Start: Maya, Tara, mother and father looking at their home being repossessed.

Challenging Situation: They have nowhere to live.

Conflict: Maya is furious with her father and blames him for their situation.

Finish: She vows that she’ll never talk to him again.

INT-HOME-NIGHT

Viktor comes home late. Maya not there. Texts her. Doesn’t get a reply.

Start: Viktor comes home early in the morning after his dinner with Claire and sees that Maya is not home.

Challenging Situation: He texts her and gets a reply that she’s spending the night with a friend who needs her.

Conflict: He tells her about dinner with Claire.

Finish: He showers and watches a bondage video.

EXT-HIGHWAY-NIGHT

Eddie is driving. Texts Jacob- promising lead, chasing it down.

Start: Eddie is on a highway, driving.

Challenging Situation: Jacob calls him and he lets him know he’s chasing down a promising lead.

Conflict: Jacob wants it to be done at any cost.

Finish: Eddie promises to deliver.

INT-STOCK EXCHANGE-DAY

Viktor and DriveNXT founders at the ringing of the bell, for their IPO launch. They head to a news interview. Viktor is trying to reach Maya with no luck.

Start: Viktor is prepping for the launch of the DriveNXT IPO.

Challenging Situation: Maya is MIA.

Conflict: She is not answering Viktor’s calls and texts.

Finish: Viktor goes to the SE without Maya and rings the bell.

INT-HOSPITAL-DAY

Maya wakes up. Father still unconscious. Tara comes in and asks if she wants to go home and freshen up. Maya freshens up in the hospital and meets the head of the hospital. Texts Viktor good luck for the interview. Evades his question on where she is.

Start: Maya wakes up in the hospital.

Challenging Situation: Viktor has been trying to reach her for the DriveNXT launch.

Conflict: She does not feel up to working.

Finish: Lets Viktor know that she’s unable to make it, good luck.

INT-NEWS STUDIO-DAY

Viktor and the founders of DriveNXT have an interview to boost the IPO launch. They’re pleased with it.

Start: Viktor and the DriveNXT founders are plugging for their IPO in a news interview.

Challenging Situation: Viktor has to cover for Maya.

Conflict: He is furious with her, but has to focus.

Finish: The interview goes well and everyone is pumped with the early numbers.

EXT-TOWN-DAY:

Eddie is driving around a small suburban/rural town, asking for Steve Latham. Finds his house.

Start: Eddie is looking for a guy named Latham.

Challenging Situation: He’s never seen the guy before and doesn’t know how he looks.

Conflict: Jacob is desperate to find Latham.

Finish: Eddie finds his house.

INT-HOME-DAY:

Eddie is in the house, talking to a guy who’s in his pyjamas and depressed. This is Todd Latham, the whistleblower from DriveNXT, whose life has been ruined by them.

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Finish: They are trying to figure out the next steps.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Eddie calls Jacob and says he has the papers.

Start: Eddie calls Jacob to tell him that they have the documents.

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Finish:

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Jacob gets a copy of the documents from Eddie and calls a friendly reporter, Michael, to leak the documents. The reporter needs verification

Start: Jacob calls his broker and asks him to buy DriveNXT when it falls.

Challenging Situation: Jacob needs to convince the reporter to run the news immediately.

Conflict: The reporter tells him that he doesn’t want to get involved because he doesn’t want it tracked back to him, but will pass it on the right guy.

Finish: Jacob patches the reporter through to Latham as a confidential source and convinces the reporter to run it with comment, without delay.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Viktor and founders are at lunch. The founders get a call from a reporter regarding a failed safety study that was covered up.

Start: Viktor and the DriveNXT founders are having a celebratory lunch. They get a call from a reporter seeking comment.

Challenging Situation: The founders try to clarify that the study was outdated.

Conflict: The reporter isn’t convinced.

Finish: The article will run immediately.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

News break with documentary evidence that DriveNXT’s safety features are lacking and it was covered up to authorities.

Start: Jacob’s reporter friend gets the news broken through a colleague.

Challenging Situation: The IPO stock price is falling rapidly.

Conflict: Viktor and team are trying to get their stand across to news outlets, without success.

Finish: The price is falling into the red.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

He then calls Eddie and tells him to go ahead with Latham.

Jacob is watching the numbers fall. Hanson calls and says ready. Jacob says go.

Start: Jacob calls Hanson and asks him to buy.

Challenging Situation: Jacob goes against advice to not buy.

Conflict: He is advised by his team that any link to them will be dangerous.

Finish: He okays the buying of the stock anyway.

INT-HOME-DAY

As Latham packs up to leave, Eddie shoots him with a silenced gun and covers up his presence to make it look like suicide.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Viktor and his team watch as the numbers keep falling. Someone is buying up large chunks of DriveNXT. The IPO is lost. Viktor has lost billions. He cannot contact Maya.

Start: Viktor and his team are shellshocked as the IPO numbers plunge.

Challenging Situation: Someone is buying up a majority share.

Conflict: Viktor tells his team to dump their share quickly even though they are his clients.

Finish: The IPO has tanked spectacularly.

INT-HOSPITAL-NIGHT

Maya’s father slips into a coma. Dies. Her mother arrives.

Start: Maya’s father is still unconscious.

Challenging Situation: His vitals start plunging.

Conflict: A medical team tries to stabilize him.

Finish: He dies.

ACT 3

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Viktor’s office is buzzing with calls from investors about the failed IPO. They are spooked.

Start: Viktor’s phone and the office phone are choked with calls from investors.

Challenging Situation: He has to reassure them that their investments are ok. The company won’t be affected by the IPO’s failure.

Conflict: Maya is missing.

Finish: Deals with all calls and is exhausted.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Jacob is gloating over his father.

Start: Jacob’s father has dropped in.

Challenging Situation: He tries to pull Jacob down a notch despite his success against Viktor.

Conflict: Jacob must remain calm, while gloating.

Finish: Jacob throws his father out when he antagonizes him too much.

INT-HOSPITAL-DAY: Wound

Maya and her mother and Tara are emotional from the father’s death and the reunion after years.

Start: Maya is at her parents’ home.

Challenging Situation: Her father has just died and her mother and sister are inconsolable.

Conflict: Maya is trying to let go of her old emotions towards her parents.

Finish: Maya and her mother and Tara bond.

EXT-STREET-DAY

Derek meets Eddie. Wants out as he delivered. Eddie says they’re just getting started. The threat remains. What’s next? PrimaCorp.

Start: Derek is the mole in Viktor’s office. He meets Eddie.

Challenging Situation: He wants out, but Eddie isn’t ready to listen.

Conflict: His sense of loyalty and gratitude for Viktor and Maya clash with being blackmailed.

Finish: Eddie crushes him by threatening exposure to Viktor as well as his family and jail time for violating his NDA with Viktor.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Viktor is angry. He wants to know how they got blindsided and how someone got to Latham. The news is all about DriveNXT and the losses are huge. Where the fuck is Maya?

Start: Viktor is angry that they got blindsided so badly and allowed their insider to get compromised.

Challenging Situation: Maya cannot be located. There is a leak in the office.

Conflict: Viktor is trying to reach Maya and is furious with her for abandoning the company at this time. He is trying to find out who in the office leaked information to Jacob about Latham.

Finish: Viktor finishes giving comments to a reporter about DriveNXT’s safety. Tries again to reach Maya.

EXT-WATERSIDE-NIGHT

Viktor and Jason talk. Mole in the office, spyware. Everything could be exposed. Texts Maya- need to talk.

Start: Jason texts Viktor on his burner that they need to talks somewhere safe.

Challenging Situation: Their communications could be compromised.

Conflict: They do not know how badly they’ve been compromised. Need to find out.

Finish: Jason and Viktor decide that all employees must be followed and all communications must be tapped. They have to go deep.

INT-HOME-NIGHT

Maya is home to pack a bag. Viktor confronts her. Fight. He accuses her of betraying him and passing on information to Jacob. Maya storms out and heads back to mother’s house. Calls Jacob- need a friend. Jacob will meet her.

Start: Maya is home, packing.

Challenging Situation: Viktor confronts her.

Conflict: Maya is torn between her duty to the company and wanting to spend time with her family. When she says she cannot go into work, Viktor accuses her of conniving with Jacob.

Finish: Maya walks out and calls Jacob for support.

INT-OFFICE-NIGHT

Derek plugs his phone in to his desktop to charge.

Start: Derek sneaks into the office late at night.

Challenging Situation: He needs to plant spyware as instructed by Eddie.

Conflict: He is ashamed at betraying Viktor and his family.

Finish: He hesitates, but does what he has to.

INT-OFFICE-NIGHT

Jacob’s office- They’re into Viktor’s servers and comms.

ACT 4

INT-OFFICES-DAY:

Several members of the press get calls promising a juicy story at a certain time and place.

EXT-CEMETERY-MORNING

Maya’s father’s funeral. Viktor shows up uninvited and gets into an argument with Maya. She ends up falling and the press laps it up. Jacob is there and helps Maya, which antagonizes Viktor and he punches Jacob.

Start: Maya and her family are at the cemetery for her father’s funeral. Viktor joins, uninvited.

Challenging Situation: Jacob is present and by Maya’s side.

Conflict: Maya cold-shoulders Viktor. Enraged, he gets into an argument with her and ends up pushing her. As the press capture the face-off, Jacob steps in.

Finish: Maya, her family and Jacob leave.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

The police walk in to Viktor’s office to question him regarding a Claire Logan, whom he met for dinner a few days ago. He denies any knowledge of what happened after dinner.

Start: Viktor is back in the office from the funeral and the police come in to the office, wanting to speak with him.

Challenging Situation: They want to question him and staff regarding the disappearance of Claire, whom he met for dinner recently.

Conflict: Viktor conceals the fact that he left the restaurant together with Claire to go elsewhere.

Finish: The police leave and will be back if they need more information.

EXT-STREET-DAY

Derek calls Eddie and lets him know about the police coming to the office asking about Claire.

INT-OFFICE-NIGHT

Viktor calls Jason on burners- meet.

EXT-STREET-NIGHT: Conspiracy

Viktor and Jason meet in secret.

Start: Viktor tells Jason about the recent police visit.

Challenging Situation: Something critical that is at risk of exposure needs to be concealed.

Conflict: They are unsure of how much Jacob knows, but need to take the chance so that the police don’t find out.

Finish: Jason will go on a fishing trip.

INT-DOMINATRIX CHAMBER-NIGHT

Viktor is getting whipped by a dominatrix, who tells him he’s going to get the pain he deserves. He keeps asking for more. Why? Flashback to his childhood. Trapped in a closet, watching a woman whip a man.

Start: Viktor is bound, gagged and getting whipped.

Challenging Situation: Flashbacks of childhood memories.

Conflict: Jacob, Maya, DriveNXT, the police visit, they all intertwine in his head.

Finish: He snorts amphetamine after the session and puts on his suit, ready to do battle. Calls Julius about PrimaCorp.

EXT- WAREHOUSE-NIGHT

A masked figure peers around a corner to see if anyone is watching a warehouse he wants to enter. His gaze lingers on the few vehicles parked around, but there is no movement. He proceeds to enter the warehouse through a fire escape at the back.

INT-CAR-NIGHT:

Someone is watching from the car.

INT- WAREHOUSE-NIGHT

The masked man climbs in through a window and turns on a hooded flashlight. Dim glow lights up the large room. He walks to the other side of the room and enters a smaller one.

EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT

A figure sneaks out of the watching van and makes his way to the masked man’s van. Rolls underneath and rolls back out after a few seconds. Makes his way back to the car.

INT-CAR-NIGHT: Mystery

Back inside his car, the watcher settles in and continues watching the live stream on his laptop.

The watcher is looking at a live stream on a laptop inside the car.

INT- WAREHOUSE ROOM-NIGHT

The man takes off the mask from the figure. It’s Claire.

INT-CAR-NIGHT: Conspiracy

Back inside his car, the watcher sees the man unmasking the dead body. HE texts someone It’s her.

INT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT

Man enters room. His light shines on a masked, chained figure. He lays down a plastic sheet, unchains the figure and proceeds to cut up the body. He finishes cutting up the body.

EXT-WAREHOSUE-NIGHT:

The watcher’s dashboard clock shows that forty-five minutes have passed since the masked man entered the building.

INT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT

Wraps up the plastic sheet and loads up a large duffel bag. Shoulders it and walks out.

INT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT

The man pulls out a bunch of wires from an old junction box. Sparks them. A fire starts up.

EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT

He exits the warehouse from the fire escape.

INT-CAR-NIGHT

A hand grips the steering wheel and another gets ready to turn on the ignition.

EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT

The man jogs quickly to his vehicle, loads the duffel bag into the trunk.

EXT-CAR-NIGHT

Man drives away. The van pulls out and starts tailing him discreetly.

EXT-DARK ROAD-NIGHT

The car drives along a lonely road.

EXT-SEASIDE-NIGHT

The man reaches a boat tied to an old jetty. He loads the duffel bag in the boat and casts off. Goes a little bit and dumps the bag. Turns around comes back ashore. Drives away.

INT-CAR-NIGHT

Man sends a text- Mermaid away.

INT-CAR-NIGHT

A long distance away, the man following the van watches a dot blinking on a tracking device.

ACT 5

INT-BOXING RING-MORNING

Jacob drops in. Confrontation between him and Viktor. Jacob vows that this is just the beginning. Maya is going to be his again and, he knows about Brooklyn.

Start: Viktor is shadow-boxing early in the morning.

Challenging Situation: Jacob walks in to the gym and approaches him.

Conflict: Jacob threatens Viktor with blackmail about Brooklyn.

Finish: Jacob vows that he’s going to destroy him completely and reclaim Maya.

INT-GYM-DAY

After Jacob leaves, Viktor texts from a burner phone. Laundry dirty. Anything else to go in the bag?

INT-HOME-DAY

Maya and Jacob leave for an unknown destination.

Start: Jacob comes to Maya’s mother’s house to check on her.

Challenging Situation: Maya is still upset with Viktor.

Conflict: Maya wonders if she should work with Viktor on solving their differences. Jacob is conflicted as he sees her swaying. He cannot let her go back.

Finish: Jacob asks Maya to take a drive with him to show her something important.

INT-APARTMENT-DAY

Jacob shows Maya the tape. Viktor is a killer.

Start: Jacob and Maya are in his apartment.

Challenging Situation: He shows her the photos and tape of the body in Brooklyn.

Conflict: Maya is shattered. She breaks down and Jacob comforts her.

Finish: Maya decides that she can never go back to Viktor. She’s afraid because he’s a killer.

INT-HOME-NIGHT

Viktor gets a text – he knows everything.

Viktor texts back- then it’s war.

Viktor texts Jason- it’s go time with PrimaCorp.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Beat Sheet

What I learned doing this assignment is: The beat sheet really brings to life everything we’ve been doing. It’s a great experience and I need to remember that not all gaps need to be filled in right away. It’s a process.

BEAT SHEET

Show Concept: Venture capital tycoon Viktor Brazhinsky and his wife Maya plot the downfall of a rival who plans to expose Viktor’s chilling secret — he’s a serial killer who’s never been caught…

Inciting Incident: The collapse of the Tyson Electric-Richardson gas station deal brought on by Viktor and Maya.

TEASER

EXT- WAREHOUSE-NIGHT

A masked figure peers around a corner to see if anyone is watching a warehouse he wants to enter. He proceeds to enter the warehouse through a fire escape at the back.

INT-VAN-NIGHT

Someone is watching from a van parked a block away.

EXT-WAREHOSUE-NIGHT

The watcher gets out of his car and quickly plants a device under the masked man’s car. Gets back into his van.

EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT

Masked man exits the warehouse from the fire escape.

INT-VAN-NIGHT

A hand grips the steering wheel and another gets ready to turn on the ignition.

EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT

The man jogs quickly to his vehicle, loads the duffel bag into the trunk.

INT-CAR-NIGHT

Man gets in, starts the car.

EXT-CAR-NIGHT

The warehouse explodes. Man drives away. The van pulls out and starts tailing him discreetly.

EXT-DARK ROAD-NIGHT

The car drives along a lonely road.

EXT-SEASIDE-NIGHT

The man reaches a boat tied to an old jetty. He loads the duffel bag in the boat and casts off. Goes a little bit and dumps the bag. Turns around comes back ashore. Drives away.

INT-CAR-NIGHT

Man sends a text- Mermaid away.

INT-CAR-NIGHT

A long distance away, the man following the van watches a dot blinking on a tracking device.

EXT-WOODS-NIGHT

The masked man pulls back into the woods, sets the car he was in on fire and gets back into his own car. Drives away.

EXT-WOODS-NIGHT:

A short while after the masked man burns the car and drives away in his own, the watcher pulls up and sees that the car he was tailing is now a burnt ruin. He gets back in his car and texts an unknown recipient- lost trail, but have interesting home movie.

ACT 1

EXT-MANHATTAN-NIGHT

Jacob gets into a helicopter. Swanson 1. Chopper takes off. Crowd noise OS.

EXT-MANHATTAN-NIGHT

Chopper takes off. Aide hands over a file to Jacob. TYSON ELECTRIC on the folder.

INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT

Big crowd, seated at tables. Well dressed. A speaker talking on the stage. Maya texting. Where are you?

INT-LOCKER ROOM-NIGHT

Phone lights up in a locker room. The text Maya sent- where are you? Crowd noise builds.

INT-CHOPPER-NIGHT

Jacob asks his aide if “he’s’” there. Aide replies ‘negative’. Jacob-where the fuck is he?

INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT

Viktor kneeling and praying. Has a tattoo ‘Son of a whore’ on his back. Gets up and faces off with his opponent, a huge bear of a guy. Bloody match.

INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT

Maya is calling someone on her phone. No answer.

INT-LOCKER ROOM-NIGHT

Phone ringing, no answer.

INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT

Opponent going at each other. Viktor is badly beaten up, but landing his own punches. Opponent taunts him about his mother and if she’s a whore. Viktor enraged and goes into overdrive.

EXT-ROOFTOP HELIPAD-NIGHT

The chopper lands, Jacob gets out and is rushed in.

INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT

Awards ceremony commences. The Maya drains champagne, Jacob from the chopper walks in.

INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT

Viktor wins, barely standing. Opponent is dead. Start: Jacob is trying to find out if Viktor’s at the awards ceremony.

INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT

Maya’s name is called, Jacob from the chopper presents her an award. Ceremony ends. They have a conversation, he flirts with her, she’s angry. They leave to get a drink at a bar.

INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT

Viktor is being carried around. Then his trainer is patching him up in the locker room. Missed calls checked on phone. Tries calling Maya back.

INT-BAR-NIGHT

The Maya’s phone buzzes. She looks at it, silences it and turns her phone facedown. Deep conversation between Jacob and Maya. They know each other from before. He tries to kiss her after a bit, she pushes him away, gets up and leaves. Jacob disappointed.

EXT-STREET-NIGHT

Maya’s car picks her up, drives her home.

INT-CAR-NIGHT

Viktor is being driven back home by his trainer.

INT-CAR-NIGHT

Maya looks pensive, calls someone.

EXT-DRIVEWAY-NIGHT

Both cars reach the same house. Viktor and Maya get down. Face each other. Maya turns away and walks into the house, Viktor follows.

INT-HOUSE-NIGHT

Viktor and Maya fight. Selfish, family, betrayal, let’s not pretend we care about each other, it’s all business. Break it off as tomorrow is a big day. Viktor sleeps in a different room. Maya lies awake in bed.

INT-GYM-DAY

Maya running on a treadmill, trainer supervises workout. She gets a text, ‘lunch is on’.

INT-LIVING ROOM-DAY

Viktor wakes up, note on the coffee table- see you at the office, told Anya to fix you up. Don’t ignore. Viktor gets ready, brushes away Anya, who wants to put makeup on his face to cover up bruises.

INT-SHOWER-DAY

Maya showering after workout, gets dressed, heads to car.

EXT-STREET-DAY

Car reaches office tower, Maya exits, enters building.

EXT-DRIVEWAY-DAY

Viktor gets into car, drives off. Reaches the office tower. Someone is following him and takes pictures.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Applause as Viktor and Maya enter. Cheers and handshakes. Viktor and Maya linger, then head to separate cabins. Maya is pissed. Viktor ignored the make up.

INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY

Maya goes over schedule with assistant, emphasizes to switch her afternoon schedule as she’s meeting a friend, Nancy. Calls an employee in and asks to short shares of Tyson Electric. The employee asks why she’s interested in Tyson Electric? She then heads into Viktor’s cabin. Talk, then she leaves.

INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY

Viktor gets on a video conference. DriveNXT founders, bank also on call. Discuss upcoming IPO.

INT-HOTEL CONFERENCE ROOM-DAY

Board meeting. Maya tells the board that returns are great and they are forcing a sale to capitalize. Arguments. Maya overrides everyone and walks away.

INT-CAR-DAY

Maya pensive.

INT-ART GALLERY-DAY

Maya runs into Nancy. Expresses surprise, they talk. Maya invites herself to lunch. Texts Viktor ‘IN’.

INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY

Viktor- between meetings, is flirting with ‘Claire’ over text. Replies Good Luck to Maya’s text of IN.

INT-RESTAURANT-DAY

The two women meet with two men, one quite older. Hugs all around, they start talking. Maya rubs older man’s thigh under the table. She gets up to go to the ladies’ room, older man waits and follows. They get into a stall. He asks if she missed him and that’s why she’s here. She grabs his balls and threatens him. Walks out.

EXT-RESTAURANT-DAY

Maya texts Viktor – GO.

INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY

Viktor calls someone and asks them to do it. Texts Maya DONE.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

The TV news and phones begin buzzing with a video of Dave Richardson being a pedophile.

INT-BEDROOM-NIGHT

Maya is reading in bed. The news is about the collapse of the Tyson Electric deal with Richardsons. Maya texts Richardson- rot in prison, you bastard.

Viktor walks in late. Showers and sleeps in his room.

ACT 2

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Jacob is watching the news of Tyson Electric’s collapse. The news talks about a rival company signing a deal with another national chain of gas stations. He gets a call from someone who wants to meet him. Gets so angry he hurls the phone at the wall.

INT-HOME-DAY

Maya gets a text from Tara- I know you hate him, but do you want him to die?

Maya calls Tara and says she’ll do it and she wants to see him.

EXT-DELI-DAY

Viktor is walking into the deli. An analyst from his office is waiting for him. They talk about PrimaCorp, a new lead the analyst is pumped about. The deli owner shares a story about Viktor’s childhood.

EXT-STREET-DAY

Viktor tells the analyst why he gets coffee from the deli everyday even though it’s bad. Wants to know more about PrimaCorp.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Viktor and Maya are in a meeting with DriveNXT. IPO going live in a few days. Maya steps away during the meeting. Calls a hospital and talks to the head. Wants the best care.

INT-HOME-DAY

Jacob is sitting with an older man, who is berating him and wants to know if he needs a reminder in how to fuck people. Jacob gets angry and leaves.

INT-CAR-DAY

As he drives, Jacob makes a phone call and asks the person where they are with Derek. The person gives him an update. Jacob asks him to step on it, he wants it done now.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

An analyst at Viktor and Maya’s office gets a text. Meet tonight, or wife finds out.

INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY

Viktor is flirting with Claire again. Dinner tonight?

EXT-PARK-NIGHT

Derek is sitting on a bench with Eddie. Conversation about passing on information from Viktor’s office. Blackmail about his gambling debt, house mortgaged and revealing it to his wife. What deal is going down now? Any weaknesses? One. DriveNXT, whistleblower.

EXT-CAFÉ-NIGHT

Viktor is having dinner incognito with Claire. Slips something in her drink when she goes to the ladies’ room. Pays with cash and they leave. Someone is photographing/following them.

INT-HOSPITAL-NIGHT

Maya is at an old man’s beside. He’s unconscious, hooked up to machines.

EXT-HOME-DAY

Flashback to childhood and losing home.

INT-HOSPITAL-NIGHT

Talks to Tara. Does not want to see mother yet. Curls up on chair and falls asleep.

INT-HOME-NIGHT

Viktor comes home late. Maya not there. Texts her. Gets a reply- staying with friend.

EXT-HIGHWAY-NIGHT

Eddie is driving. Texts Jacob- promising lead, chasing it down.

INT-STOCK EXCHANGE-DAY

Viktor and DriveNXT founders at the ringing of the bell, for their IPO launch. They head to a news interview. Viktor is trying to reach Maya with no luck.

INT-HOSPITAL-DAY

Maya wakes up. Father still unconscious. Tara comes in and asks if she wants to go home and freshen up. Maya freshens up in the hospital and meets the head of the hospital. Texts Viktor good luck for the interview. Evades his question on where she is.

INT-NEWS STUDIO-DAY

Viktor and the founders of DriveNXT have an interview to boost the IPO launch. They’re pleased with it.

INT-OFFICE-DAYA

Derek plugs his phone in to his desktop to charge.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Jacob’s office- They’re into Viktor’s servers and comms.

INT-CAFÉ-DAY

Viktor and founders having lunch. The IPO is performing very well. Everyone happy.

EXT-TOWN-DAY

Eddie is driving around a small suburban/rural town, asking for Steve Latham. Maybe cabin up in the woods.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Jacob calls Hanson and asks him to wait till there’s blood, buy at 10.

EXT-WOODS-DAY

Eddie finds Latham, convinces him to pack up and accept $2 million. Will be relocated securely.

INT-NEWS STUDIO-DAY

Latham is giving an interview about botched safety features in DriveNXT cars. Produces documents.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

The IPO immediately begins tanking.

Viktor and DriveNXT founders shocked, Viktor furious, sends someone on the double to locate and silence Latham.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Jacob is watching the numbers fall. Hanson calls and says ready. Jacob says go.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Viktor and his team watch as the numbers keep falling. Someone is buying up large chunks of DriveNXT. The IPO is lost. Viktor has lost billions. He cannot contact Maya.

INT-HOSPITAL-NIGHT

Maya’s father slips into a coma. Dies. Her mother arrives.

ACT 3

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Viktor’s office is buzzing with calls from investors about the failed IPO. They are spooked.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Jacob is gloating over his father.

INT-HOSPITAL-DAY

Maya and her mother and Tara are emotional from the father’s death and the reunion after years.

EXT-STREET-DAY

Derek meets Eddie. Wants out as he delivered. Eddie says they’re just getting started. The threat remains. What’s next? PrimaCorp.

INT-OFFICE-DAY

Viktor is angry. He wants to know how they got blindsided and how someone got to Latham. The news is all about DriveNXT and the losses are huge. Where the fuck is Maya?

EXT-WATERSIDE-NIGHT

Viktor and Jason talk. Mole in the office, spyware. Everything could be exposed. Texts Maya- need to talk.

INT-HOME-NIGHT

Maya is home to pack a bag. Viktor confronts her. Fight. He accuses her of betraying him and passing on information to Jacob. Maya storms out and heads back to mother’s house. Calls Jacob- need a friend. Jacob will meet her.

ACT 4

EXT-CEMETERY-MORNING

Maya’s father’s funeral. Several members of the press get a time and location. Viktor shows up uninvited and gets into an argument with Maya. She ends up falling and the press laps it up. Jacob is there and helps Maya, which antagonizes Viktor and he punches Jacob.

INT-OFFICE-MORNING

The police walk in to Viktor’s office to question him regarding a Claire Logan, whom he met for dinner a few days ago. He denies any knowledge of what happened after dinner.

INT-OFFICE-NIGHT

Viktor calls Jason on burners- secure Brooklyn.

INT-DOMINATRIX CHAMBER-NIGHT

Viktor is getting whipped by a dominatrix, who tells him he’s going to get the pain he deserves. He keeps asking for more. Why? Flashback to his childhood. Trapped in a closet, watching a woman whip a man.

INT- WAREHOUSE ROOM-NIGHT:

Inside the warehouse, the masked man enters a smaller room. A masked and chained figure in the middle of the room.

INT-CAR-NIGHT:

Back inside his car, the watcher sees the man unmasking the dead body. HE texts someone It’s her.

INT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT:

The masked man cuts up the body.

EXT-WAREHOSUE-NIGHT

The watcher’s clock shows forty-five minutes have passed.

INT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT

The masked man stuffs the plastic sheet containing the body in a bag. He starts a fire and exits the warehouse.

INT-CAR-NIGHT

A hand grips the steering wheel and another gets ready to turn on the ignition.

EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT

The masked man dumps the bag in his trunk and drives away.

EXT-CAR-NIGHT

The watcher starts following the masked man’s car at a very discreet distance.

EXT-DARK ROAD-NIGHT

The masked man’s car is speeding along dark and deserted country roads. The watcher’s car tails him at a safe distance so he cannot be seen.

EXT-SEASIDE-NIGHT

The masked man reaches the sea, gets in a boat and dumps the bag out in the water.

INT-CAR-NIGHT

The masked man gets into his car and takes his mask off. Man sends a text- Mermaid away.

INT-CAR-NIGHT

A long distance away, the man following the van watches a dot blinking on a tracking device.

EXT-WOODS-NIGHT

The masked man pulls back into the woods, sets the car he was in on fire and gets back into his own car. Drives away.

EXT-WOODS-NIGHT:

A short while after the masked man burns the car and drives away in his own, the watcher pulls up and sees that the car he was tailing is now a burnt ruin. He gets back in his car and texts an unknown recipient- lost trail, but have interesting home movie.

ACT 5

INT-BOXING RING-MORNING

Jacob drops in. Confrontation between him and Viktor. Jacob vows that this is just the beginning. Maya is going to be his again and, he knows about Brooklyn.

EXT-AIRPORT-PLANE-DAY

Maya and Jacob leave for an unknown destination.

INT-RESORT/CHALET-NIGHT

Jacob shows Maya the tape.

INT-HOME-NIGHT

Viktor gets a text – All the laundry in the bag is dirty. Dropped off at cleaners.

Viktor texts back- then it’s war.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Setting Up The Future

What I learned doing this assignment is: It’s tough to not think that you’re missing a lot more I could do in terms of setups. But the key is to keep moving.

Pilot Setups:

– Did Viktor kill Claire?

– Why was Claire killed? In the way she was killed?

– Viktor and Jacob are rivals.

– How did Viktor get into boxing?

– How did Viktor get his tattoo?

– what is Viktor’s past?

– What is Maya’s past?

– What is Jacob’s past?

– Maya and her family’s estrangement. Will they reunite?

– Will Derek the mole be caught? What damage will he cause before?

– Jacob and his father’s relationship.

– Maya and Viktor’s relationship.

– Will Jacob expose Viktor with the evidence he has?

– How will Viktor recover or destroy the evidence Jacob has?

– Will Viktor be caught?

– Will Viktor kill again? Has he killed before this?

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Adding Empathy/Distress

What I learned doing this assignment is: Empathy /distress are magic ingredients that keep audiences hooked! I know about the concept now and want to get much better at using them.

1. Look through your outline and see if any of these as a bigger frame for your story, or if you already have it in the story, can you emphasize or expand it:

A. Crucible – IPO collapse and Maya’s father dies.

B. Betrayal – Maya betrayed her family by cutting off from her parents.

C. Forced Decision – Viktor kills Claire Logan on impulse.

F. Exposed – Jacob has evidence Viktor is a killer. How will Viktor respond?

G. Must Make Decision with Future Consequences – Viktor and Maya take down the Tyson Electric deal.

2. Looking at your scenes, are there places you can create situations to cause more Empathy/Distress?

Step 1: Check each scene to see if you can build any of these forms of Empathy/Distress into them.

Undeserved misfortune

Teaser: Opponent taunts Viktor about his tattoo. Flash back to him getting tattooed by a man.

Act 1: Maya shows Richardson the video they are about to leak. Refers to him abusing her sexually.

Act 2: Jacob’s father refers to his scars.

External character conflicts

Act 1 and Act 4 Jacob wants to destroy Viktor

Plot intruding on life

Maya and Viktor’s plot against Tyson Electric boomerangs on them.

Witnessing the pain of others

Act 2 and Act 3: Maya’s father dies, causing grief to her mother and family.

Extreme consequences

Act 2: IPO collapses causing mega losses.

Major loss

Act 3: Maya leaves Viktor

External character conflicts

Act 1 and Act 4 Jacob wants to destroy Viktor

Brings their wound present

Act 4: Maya goes away with Jacob.

Raise the stakes

Viktor’s clients pull out.

Jacob wants him to surrender PrimaCorp.

Step 2: Make those situations even worse.

Make it more painful

Viktor has to get tattooed or his mother dies

Maya has to give in to Richardson or see her college dreams die.

Maya has to give up her children.

Maya cannot get to her father’s bedside in time because she is needed at the office. By the time she reaches him, He is dying. Then he dies without her being able to apologize to him.

Maya tells Viktor that she’s leaving with Jacob because at least he’s there for her when she needs him.

Raise the stakes

Viktor’s clients pull out.

Jacob wants him to surrender PrimaCorp.

Create more loss

Because Maya’s father died due to the collapse of the IPO, which was due to Viktor’s plan of taking down Tyson Electric, Maya blames him and shuts down.

Put any goal, need, value, wound at significant risk

Time this to be at the worst moment

The IPO crashes as Maya’s father dies

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Open Loops and Mysteries

What I learned doing this lesson is: I need to better understand how to position the open loops and mysteries. Plus, a lot more will surface as the plot and characters evolve.

Teaser:

A boxer in an underground boxing match, a woman at an awards ceremony, a guy who flies in a helicopter to the same ceremony and knows the woman.

(M) Who is the boxer?

(M) Why does he have a tattoo that says ‘Son of a whore’? Why is he so sensitive about it?

(M) Who is the woman?

(M) Who is Viktor and why is she trying to contact him?

(M) Who is the man in the helicopter and what is Tyson Electric?

(M) Who is the ‘he’ that the man asks about several times?

(M) What is the relationship between the helicopter guy and the woman?

(OL) Will they sleep together?

Act 1:

Essence: (Viktor Opening) Viktor is a highly successful VC who loves boxing, amphetamines. Has a gorgeous wife who is his partner. Is on the verge of closing a huge business deal.

(Maya Opening) Maya is a highly successful VC who is lonely and feels distant from her husband. She is estranged from her family and reconnects when her father falls ill.

(Jacob Opening) Jacob is a highly successful VC who hates rival Viktor. Maya’s ex-lover. Is gunning for the same deal as Viktor and wooing Maya back.

When Viktor does not show up for Maya’s award ceremony, Jacob woos her.

Turning Point: Maya and Viktor cause Dave Richardson’s company to collapse, for revenge. Also affected is Tyson Electric, which has a contract to supply Richardson’s gas stations with EV charging equipment and solar panels, nationwide. About $500 million.

(M) How did Viktor get into boxing?

(M) Why does he use amphetamines?

(M) Why did Viktor have a ‘tough time’ as a child? What is his past?

(M) Why does Maya change her appointment time and then lie to Nancy about it?

(M) Why does Nancy’s father ask Maya if she misses him?

Turning point: Viktor and Maya release a pedophile video of Nancy’s father, bringing down their expansion plans.

(M) Why wait all these years?

(OL)What will happen to Nancy and her husband?

(OL) How will Viktor and Maya benefit from what happened?

(OL) What happened to Maya’s children?

(M) Does Viktor know about Maya’s children?

Act 2:

Essence: Maya’s father falls ill, adding emotional strain to the Brazhinsky’s marriage. They are prepping for a huge IPO and it is sabotaged by Jacob.

(Viktor TP 1) Viktor loses the IPO.

(Maya TP 1) Maya’s father’s condition worsens; Viktor is emotionally unavailable.

(Jacob TP1) Jacob has sabotaged the DriveNXT IPO.

Turning Point/Midpoint: Maya’s father dies and their company loses millions.

(M) Who is the old man who summoned Jacob?

(OL) Will Jacob meet him?

(M) Why does Jacob’s father ask him if he needs a reminder in fucking people?

(OL) How will Jacob take revenge on Viktor for the Tyson Electric collapse?

(M) Who is Tara and why is Maya getting calls and texts from her?

(OL) Will Maya tell Viktor the truth about where she went?

(M) Who is Latham and why is Viktor worried about him?

(OL) Will Latham damage the DriveNXT IPO?

(M) Why is Jacob’s right-hand man Eddie in Virginia and who is he looking for?

(OL) Will he find Latham?

(M) Why does Jacob ask Hanson to wait until there’s blood, to buy?

(OL) What will happen to Viktor and Maya’s company after the DriveNXT collapse?

(OL) Will Viktor figure out who sabotaged the deal?

Act 3:

Essence: Several clients pull out of Viktor’s company. He has a showdown with Maya and she leaves home. There is a mole in Viktor’s office.

(Viktor TP 1) Several clients pull out of Viktor’s company because of the IPO scandal.

(Maya TP1) Maya is dealing with her father’s death and feeling emotional about reconnecting with her family. Then has a fight with Viktor.

(Viktor TP 2) Viktor discovers that there’s a mole in his company and that Jacob was behind the IPO failure.

(Viktor Midpoint) Viktor decides to go to war.

(Maya TP 2) Maya goes to her mother’s house. Expresses regret for her choices in life.

(V and M Major Conflict) Viktor and Maya fight, about their marriage, their business, drifting apart…and Viktor’s jealousy of Jacob’s former relationship with Maya is triggered…he accuses her of sympathizing with Jacob.

(M Dilemma) Leave Viktor or stand by him and their business.

(Viktor Dilemma) Trust Maya or not.

(M TP 3) Maya moves to her mother’s home.

Turning Point: Maya decides to leave Viktor.

(M) How did Jacob get Derek to spy for him?

(Will Derek continue to spy or will he pull out?

Clients pull out.

(OL) Will other clients pull out?

Viktor and Jason conspire.

(M) What is compromised?

(M) What is in Brooklyn?

(M) Who is the one guy?

(OL) What will happen with the declaration of war?

Fight with Maya. Maya leaves and goes to her mother’s.

(OL) What will happen to their relationship now? Will it survive?

(OL) Will Maya come back?

(M) What is the history between Maya and Jacob?

Act 4:

Essence: Viktor tries to patch things up at Maya’s father’s funeral, but things go awry. Emotionally vulnerable Maya leans on Jacob. The police question Viktor.

(V and M Major Conflict) Viktor and Maya fight. She falls and hurts herself.

(V and J Major Conflict) Viktor and Jacob fight.

(M TP1 / V TP 1 / J TP 1) Maya turns away Viktor/ gets closer to Jacob.

Turning point: the police question Viktor about Claire Logan.

Viktor sees his dominatrix.

(M) Why does the dominatrix say he needs pain?

(M) Who is the woman he sees in his vision?

(OL)

Fight at Maya’s father’s funeral.

(M) Who called the press?

Turning point: Maya falls on the ground

(OL) Will Maya leave Viktor for good?

Jacob helps Maya up and get Viktor away.

(OL) Will Jacob and Maya get together?

Police question Viktor.

(M) What happened to Claire?

(OL) Is Viktor involved?

(OL) Does Jacob know?

Act 5:

Essence: Jacob and Viktor face off. Maya leaves with Jacob.

(M Ending) Jacob shows Maya evidence of Viktor being a killer. Maya cannot go back to Viktor again.

(V Ending) Viktor has lost his deal, his reputation, his wife and Jacob now has evidence that he is a killer.

(J Ending) Jacob’s plan to destroy Viktor is in motion, he’s gained the DriveNXT profits and is back with Maya.

Lock In/Turning Point: Viktor text, Jason text.

Viktor’s deal is lost losing him millions. His wife has decided to leave him and slept with her ex-lover, his rival. Jacob vows to destroy Viktor completely. Jacob has evidence that Viktor is a killer. How will he use it?

Viktor and Jacob face off.

(M) How did Jacob know where Viktor was?

(OL) What evidence does Jacob have?

(OL) How is he going to use the evidence he claims he has?

(OL) Is Maya really back with him?

(OL) How will Viktor respond?

Maya and Jacob get away.

(OL) Will they sleep together?

Turning point: Jacob shows Maya proof of Viktor being a killer.

(OL) Will he share the evidence with the police?

(OL) If not, what is his intention?

The evidence is incomplete. Nothing inside the building.

(OL) Did Viktor kill Claire?

(OL) What’s in the building?

Twist: Viktor gets a text ‘He doesn’t know everything, yet.’

(OL) Who sent him the text? Is it Maya?

Jason gets a text from Viktor: Time to go fishing. Mind the shark at the harbor mouth.

(OL) What is Jason going to retrieve from the building?

(OL) Can Viktor and Jason escape Jacob’s surveillance?

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Stacking Intrigue

What I learned doing this assignment is: Combined with Layers and reveals, stacking intrigue really elevates a pilot as seen in the top shows. However, it takes practice and feeling like you’re not getting it ‘right’ the way you want to, initially, is ok. It will come.

ACT 1:

Intriguing World:

Intrigue:

Mystery: Why was Maya’s relationship with her own father rocky?

Secret:

Deception: Maya deceives Nancy into thinking they met accidentally.

Conspiracy: Maya conspires with Viktor to sabotage the expansion of the Richardsons’ business.

Secret Identity:

Wound: Maya is sexually exploited by Mr. Richardson

Hidden Agenda: Maya wants to take revenge against him.

Hidden Layer: Viktor and Maya entrapped Richardson with an underage girl and leaked the tape.

Strange Behavior:

Accusation:

Act 1 Turning Point: Maya and Jacob ruin the Richardson’s.

Intrigue 1: Mystery: Angelina asks Maya why she’s interested in the upcoming Tyson expansion since it’s not their deal. Why is she interested?

Intrigue 2: Strange Behavior: She tells Viktor to work his contacts for an invite to a charity event. She tells him she’s not really interested, so why does she need to go?

Intrigue 3: Deception: Maya deceives Nancy into thinking they met accidentally. Why?

Secret: She wants to invite herself to Nancy’s home.

Intrigue 4: Wound: Mr. Richardson asks her if she missed him. That makes her angry and break her wine glass. Why?

Intrigue 5: Hidden Agenda: Maya calls Viktor and tells him to proceed with the plan. What’s the plan?

Intrigue 6: Conspiracy: Viktor contacts a journalist and asks him to release the video. What video?

Hidden Layer: Viktor and Maya entrapped Richardson with an underage girl and leak a tape.

ACT 1 TURNING POINT: The Tyson electric expansion is ruined after the leak of the video Maya and Viktor planted. Richardson commits suicide.

ACT 2:

Intriguing World:

Intrigue: Who is texting and calling Maya?

Mystery: Why was Maya’s relationship with her own father rocky?

Secret: Her father is dying.

Deception: Maya lies to Viktor about where she’s going.

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound: Her father’s failed business ventures caused their home to be foreclosed, leaving them homeless.

Hidden Agenda: Maya wants to take revenge against him.

Hidden Layer: She became Richardson’s mistress in high school because of her father’s poverty.

Strange Behavior:

Accusation:

Act 2 Turning Point: Maya’s father dies

Intrigue 1: Intrigue: Maya gets a series of calls and texts from Tara. Who is Tara?

Intrigue 2: Strange Behavior: She calls the head of a hospital and asks him for help. Who is ill? Is she ill?

Intrigue 3: Deception: She lies to Viktor that she’s been going to class each day. But she’s been going to a hospital. Why?

Secret: Her father is dying.

Intrigue 4: Wound: She tells Tara she hates ‘him’ for what he did to them. Who is ‘he’? What did he do to ‘them’?

Intrigue 5: Accusation: Maya breaks down at her father’s bedside and says ‘You drove me to him’. What did he drive her to?

Intrigue 6: Mystery: Why was Maya’s relationship with her own father rocky?

Hidden Layer: She became Richardson’s mistress in high school because of her father’s poverty.

ACT 2 TURNING POINT 1: Maya’s father dies.

ACT 2:

Intriguing World:

Intrigue: Jacob and Eddie are talking about being unable to find ‘him’ yet. Who is he?

Mystery: Why is Eddie in Virginia, asking for Latham? Who is Latham?

Secret: Eddie meets Latham secretively and asks if he has the documents. What documents?

Deception: Why does Jacob ask Hanson to wait until the blood flows to buy? What is he buying?

Conspiracy: Derek meets Vaughan and passes pricing documents to him. Why?

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer: Jacob plotted the IPO breakdown.

Strange Behavior: Derek is using a burner phone to make a secret call from Viktor’s office. Who is he talking to?

Accusation:

Act 2 Turning Point 2: The DriveNXT IPO is massacred after documents are released about safety concerns.

Intrigue 1: Intrigue: Jacob and Eddie are talking about being unable to find ‘him’ yet. Who is he?

Intrigue 2: Strange Behavior: Derek is using a burner phone to make a secret call from Viktor’s office. Who is he talking to?

Intrigue 3: Mystery: Why is Eddie in Virginia, asking for Latham? Who is Latham?

Intrigue 4: Conspiracy: Derek meets Vaughan and passes pricing documents to him. Why?

Intrigue 5: Secret: Eddie meets Latham secretively and asks if he has the documents. What documents?

Intrigue 6: Deception: Why does Jacob ask Hanson to wait until the blood flows to buy? What is he buying?

Hidden Layer: Jacob plotted the IPO breakdown.

ACT 2 TURNING POINT 2: Maya’s father dies. She calls Viktor and wants him to come over, but he’s dealing with the IPO failure and cannot.

ACT 3:

Intriguing World:

Intrigue: Why does Jason drive to Brooklyn and then to the ocean in LI?

Mystery: Jason tells Viktor that Jacob may know about Brooklyn. What is in Brooklyn?

Secret: Viktor asks Jason if it can be tied to them in any way. What is ‘it’?

Deception: Jason calls Holland and identifies himself as Matthew. Why? And what lease is he talking about giving up?

Conspiracy: Jason calls someone and promises to pay them !000 if they rent a fishing boat and leave it tied up at a isolated spot. Why?

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behavior:

Accusation:

Act 3 Turning Point: Claire Logan is missing. The police question Viktor as he had a dinner appointment with her before she went missing.

Intrigue 1: Conspiracy: Jason calls someone and promises to pay them !000 if they rent a fishing boat and leave it tied up at an isolated spot. Why?

Intrigue 2: Jason drives to Brooklyn and then to the ocean, where he goes fishing with large bag.

Intrigue 3: Deception: Jason calls Holland and identifies himself as Matthew. Why? And what lease is he talking about giving up?

Intrigue 4: Mystery: Jason tells Viktor that Jacob may know about Brooklyn. What is in Brooklyn?

Intrigue 5: Secret: Viktor asks Jason if it can be tied to them in any way. What is ‘it’?

Intrigue 6:

Hidden Layer: Viktor is connected to Claire’s disappearance.

ACT 3 TURNING POINT: Claire Logan is missing. The police question Viktor as he had a dinner appointment with her before she went missing.

ACT 4:

Intriguing World:

Intrigue: Viktor gets a text that says ‘2.30 pm.’ From who?

Mystery: There is press at Maya’s father’s funeral. Who called them?

Secret:

Deception: Tara turns Viktor away when he tries to apologize to Maya. Later, he asks Jason if he passed on the message. What message was he supposed to pass on? To who?

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behavior: Maya tells Jacob she’d really like for him to attend the funeral and that she hasn’t invited Viktor. Why? It’s the same date and time as Viktor received. What’s going on?

Accusation:

Act 4 Turning Point: Viktor hits Maya.

Intrigue 1: Intrigue: Viktor gets a text with a date and time. From who?

Intrigue 2: Strange Behavior: Maya tells Jacob she’d really like for him to attend the funeral and that she hasn’t invited Viktor. Why? It’s the same date and time as Viktor received. What’s going on?

Intrigue 3: Deception: Tara turns Viktor away when he tries to apologize to Maya. Later, he asks Jason if he passed on the message. What message was he supposed to pass on? To who?

Intrigue 4: Mystery: There is press at Maya’s father’s funeral. Maya tries to figure out who called them. Who called them? Why?

Hidden Layer:

ACT 4 TURNING POINT: Viktor gets into an argument with Maya and Jacob at the funeral and ends up slapping Maya. The press laps it up and it is all over the news. Maya decides to leave Viktor.

ACT 5:

Intriguing World:

Intrigue: Jacob asks Eddie where he is. Where who is?

Mystery: Why is Maya packing?

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound: Jacob tells Viktor that Maya is coming away with him. Why? Viktor’s rage is triggered.

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behavior:

Accusation:

Act 4 Turning Point: Jacob and Viktor face-off.

Intrigue 1: Intrigue: Jacob asks Eddie where he is. Where who is?

Intrigue 2: Mystery: Why is Maya packing?

Intrigue 3: Wound: Jacob tells Viktor that Maya is coming away with him. Why? Viktor’s rage is triggered.

ACT 5 TURNING POINT: Jacob comes to see Viktor at his boxing ring and reveals that he triggered the meltdown in Viktor’s life as revenge for the Richardson deal collapse, which he was financing. HE leaves with the promise that there’s more to come.

LOCK IN:

Intrigue: Viktor gets a text ‘He knows’. Who is it from?

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy: Jacob shows Maya photographs of Claire Logan with Viktor, driving to Brooklyn and entering a building with him.

Secret Identity:

Wound: Jacob tells Viktor that Maya is coming away with him. Why? Viktor’s rage is triggered.

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behavior:

Accusation:

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Layers and Reveals

What I learned Doing this Assignment is: It’s a learning curve to stack layers and figure out how to reveal them. It is also hard to shake the habit of wanting to ‘get it right’ in the first pass.

TEASER:

A masked man carries out a secret mission in a deserted warehouse. Someone is watching him.

· Surface: Someone is breaking into a deserted warehouse and someone is watching him do it.

• Layer beneath: the intruder is disposing of a body that was in the warehouse.

• How Revealed: The watcher is looking at a live video.

ACT 1:

Viktor-boxing, Jacob and Maya – awards gala.

Viktor wound: mother’s past and her sadistic employer. Question: How did Viktor get his tattoo?

· Surface: Viktor has a tattoo

• Layer beneath: the tattoo has something to do with his mother.

• How Revealed: Viktor’s opponent taunts him about his mother and Viktor almost kills him.

What is Viktor’s past? He was bullied as a child and is a benefactor.

· Surface: Viktor buys coffee from the same deli every day.

• Layer beneath: Viktor knows the deli guy from childhood.

• How Revealed: The deli guy tells Andrew about how Viktor saved him from a gang.

Strained marriage

· Surface: Viktor is unable to attend the VC of the Year awards gala due to a prior commitment.

• Layer beneath: Maya and he are having issues with their marriage.

• How Revealed: He is at an underground boxing match and they have a fight later.

Maya: Sexually exploited by friend’s father, revenge against him.

· Surface: Maya runs into her friend Nancy after years.

• Layer beneath: Nancy’s father sexually exploited Maya for years in high school.

• How Revealed: Nancy’s family’s company’s expansion is sabotaged by Maya and Viktor

ACT 2:

Maya wound: Poor childhood, Estrangement from family, father’s accident

· Surface: Maya’s father is in the hospital after an accident. She visits him.

• Layer beneath: she actually hated her father.

• How Revealed: Losing their home when she was a child.

+Who is Claire logan?

· Surface: Claire is seeking investment in her startup and Viktor meets her for dinner. (They are photographed by someone unseen)

Conspiracy: Jacob causes a mega-IPO to collapse, muddying the company’s name.

· Surface: DriveNXT’s safety features are unreliable.

• Layer beneath: Jacob planted the rumors as revenge for the collapse of the Richardson deal, engineered by Viktor and Maya.

• How Revealed: The source of the leak is killed By Jacob’s henchman Eddie.

ACT 3:

Conspiracy: the mole in Viktor’s office.

· Surface: The rumor was planted by Jacob.

• Layer beneath: The information on which the rumor was planted was given to Jacob by an insider.

• How Revealed: The mole is contacted by Eddie, Jacob’s right-hand man and is threatened with exposure if he doesn’t keep supplying information.

Conspiracy: federal authorities announce an investigation into the insider trading on the DriveNXT IPO.

· Surface: The DriveNXT IPO revelations trigger a federal probe into irregularities.

• Layer beneath: Jacob worked his sources inside the SEC and the US Attorney’s office into launching the investigation.

• How Revealed: Viktor contacts his friend Senator Goodwin who finds out the truth.

Betrayal: investors seek to pull their money from the company.

· Surface: investors were spooked by the failure of the IPO and rumors of insider trading.

• Layer beneath: several investors were approached by Jacob to pull their money from Viktor’s company.

• How Revealed: One of the clients reluctantly tells Viktor the truth.

*Conspiracy: Viktor and Jason conspire

· Surface: Jason and Viktor meet to discuss how Jacob got his information.

• Layer beneath: They are preparing a counterplot.

+Mystery: Who is Claire logan?

1. Disruption in Reality: She goes missing and is reported in the news.

Character History: Viktor jealous of Jacob and Maya’s past

• Surface: Fight about losses from the failed IPO.

• Layer beneath: Viktor believes that Maya is conspiring with Jacob.

• How Revealed: He shows her photographs of her drinking with Viktor after the awards gala.

ACT 4:

Viktor wound: mother’s past.

· Surface: Viktor likes bondage.

• Layer beneath: There’s a trauma in his past that makes him go to a dominatrix.

• How Revealed: Jacob goes to see his dominatrix.

Viktor wound: Cannot stand being second.

· Surface: Maya doesn’t invite Viktor to her father’s funeral.

• Layer beneath: He hates being second to Jacob.

• How Revealed: Viktor goes uninvited and gets into a fight with Maya and Jacob. Hits Maya. Gets photographed by the media.

Twist: the police question Viktor about his meeting with Claire before she went missing.

ACT 5:

Jacob and Maya were lovers

· Surface: Jacob and Viktor are business rivals.

• Layer beneath: Jacob and Maya were lovers and she chose Viktor, leaving Jacob.

• How Revealed: Jacob goes to see Viktor in the gym/boxing ring after Maya’s father’s funeral.

LOCK IN:

+Who is Claire logan?

· Surface: Claire and Viktor were having dinner to discuss her investment proposal.

• Layer beneath: She drove off with Viktor. They went to a building in Brooklyn and she never came out.

• How Revealed: Jacob had Viktor followed and recorded. He shows Maya the video.

*Conspiracy: Viktor, Jason and Maya conspire

• How Revealed: Viktor gets a text from an unknown source– ‘He doesn’t know everything. Yet.’

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Character Story Lines

What I learned from doing this assignment is: It’s okay and nothing worrying for plots and characters to evolve. This is writing. I also need to get much better at creating turning points and midpoints.

Viktor –

· Beginning: Where does the character start? – highly successful VC

· Turning Point: A twist that locks them into a conflict – Viktor and Maya sabotage Tyson Electric’s deal.

· Midpoint: A twist that causes everything to change – Jacob sabotages a huge IPO in return.

· Turning Point 2: Another twist that takes them to the biggest conflict – Viktor kills Claire Logan.

· Dilemma (Optional): The character is faced with two equally unacceptable choices. They lose either way.

· Major Conflict: The ultimate experience of this conflict – Jacob now has evidence that Viktor is a killer.

· Ending: Their world has changed – lost a huge deal, lost wife, rival has evidence proving he is a murderer.

Maya –

· Beginning: Where does the character start? – highly successful VC

· Turning Point: A twist that locks them into a conflict – father has an accident.

· Midpoint: A twist that causes everything to change – Father dies, DriveNXT IPO tanks.

· Turning Point 2: Another twist that takes them to the biggest conflict – is punched by Viktor.

· Dilemma (Optional): The character is faced with two equally unacceptable choices. They lose either way.

· Major Conflict: The ultimate experience of this conflict – husband is a killer and she must get away.

· Ending: Their world has changed – lost a huge deal, lost father, husband is a murderer.

Jacob –

· Beginning: Where does the character start? – highly successful VC

· Turning Point: A twist that locks them into a conflict – his big Tyson Electric deal is sabotaged by Viktor.

· Midpoint: A twist that causes everything to change –sabotages Viktor’s DriveNXT IPO in return.

· Turning Point 2: Another twist that takes them to the biggest conflict – gains evidence that Viktor is a killer

· Dilemma (Optional): The character is faced with two equally unacceptable choices. They lose either way.

· Major Conflict: The ultimate experience of this conflict – destroy Viktor completely.

· Ending: Their world has changed – wins a huge deal, gloats over father, regains old lover, has evidence arch rival is a murderer.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s PILOT STRUCTURE

What I learned doing this assignment is: Everything continues to evolve and change. It’s a great experience.

Teaser:

Essence: Viktor, Jacob and Maya are introduced. Viktor’s boxing match is the centerpiece.

Turning Point: Jacob and Maya have a drink together, after many years.

Act 1:

Essence: Viktor and Maya Brazhinsky are a power-couple in the world of finance. Their marriage is strained. Maya’s father is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, bringing up family tensions. Someone is secretly following Viktor’s movements.

Turning Point: Maya’s father gets hit by a car when he wanders out due to his Alzheimer’s. Maya meets her family after a very long time (Maya’s loneliness wound is triggered, Viktor’s wound of the affair between her and Jacob is triggered by Jacob sending her flowers).

Act 2:

Essence: Maya’s father dies, adding emotional strain to the Brazhinsky’s marriage. They are prepping for a huge M&A deal amidst the tension.

Turning Point/Midpoint: Maya’s father dies, Viktor is blackmailed by Jacob with the evidence he has gathered on the stock manipulation of PrimaCorp. Viktor makes a mysterious phone call. (Jacob’s wound of his hatred for Viktor and his father is triggered).

Act 3:

Essence: Viktor sees his dominatrix, then tells his clients he’s dropping the deal and deals with the disappointment with his staff. Has a showdown with Maya where he punches her.

Turning Point: Maya leaves Viktor (Viktor’s worst fear is triggered).

Act 4:

Essence: Viktor tries to make things better by attending Maya’s father’s funeral, but things go south and a showdown between Viktor, Maya’s family and Jacob. He is arrested?

Turning Point: Jacob invites Maya to get away with him to his retreat and relive old days.

Act 5:

Essence: Viktor kills Claire Logan and disposes off her body. Jacob shows Maya proof…

LOCK IN: Viktor’s deal is lost losing him millions. His wife has decided to leave him and Jacob vows to destroy Viktor completely. Jacob has evidence that Viktor is a killer. How will he use it?

[Avi K]

Avi’s PILOT AS INCITING INCIDENT

What I learned doing this assignment is: This is definitely up for revision.

1. What is the “Inciting Incident” of your series that this pilot needs to deliver powerfully?

Jacob gets evidence to show Viktor is a killer and uses it to set his plan of destroying Viktor in motion.

2. Give us the main beats of that Inciting Incident:

Intriguing Concept: Viktor is going to take down Jacob and prevent his secret from being exposed.

Act 1: Viktor and Maya own a VC and M&A advisory company. They’re working on the biggest deal of their careers- the PrimaCorp acquisition by their clients. Their marriage is strained.

Midpoint: Viktor kills Claire Logan. Someone is watching and recording.

Lock In: Jacob uses the evidence to blackmail Viktor into dropping the PrimaCorp deal, cause his marriage to Maya break down and lays the grounds to destroy him completely.

[Avi K]

Avi’s PILOT BIG PICTURE COMPONENTS

What I learned doing this assignment is: The concept keeps refining itself as we iterate through the various modules.

1. Give us the basic Series Info.

SERIES INFO:

World: The fast-paced world of Venture Capital, Mergers & Acquisitions

Main mystery: The rivalry between Viktor and Jacob. Will Viktor be exposed?

Impossible Goal: Viktor must recover the evidence Jacob has gathered on him and prevent Jacob from destroying him.

Main Conflict: Jacob is disrupting Viktor’s life piece-by-piece and Viktor must stop him.

Second Mystery: Did Maya really die?

Season 1 Arc: Viktor goes from being blackmailed and losing a huge business deal to crushing Jacob and capturing the evidence against him.

Season 1 Protagonist Internal Journey: From having a strained relationship with his wife to becoming 100% partners in everything.

2. Tell us the basic Pilot Info:

PILOT INFO:

Pilot Conflict: Viktor is being blackmailed. Back out of the PrimaCorp deal, or be exposed as a killer.

Characters Introduced: Viktor, Jacob, Maya, Eddie.

Inciting Incident of Season 1: Viktor is a killer and must prevent the truth from being exposed.

[Avi K]

Avi’s Visually Appealing Bible

What I learned doing this assignment is

I have a long way to go to create a professional looking visual bible. But looking forward to learning the skills.

[Avi K]

What I learned doing this assignment is

My bible feels too long and I’m sure another pass would show me what needs tightening. Feedback will definitely help.

[Avi K]

Avi’s Episode Titles

What I learned doing this assignment is: my titles and their cadence are a bit bland and I need to keep working on them.

Episode 1: Son of a Whore

Episode 2: A Deadly Menage-a-Trois

Episode 3: Did He Kill Her?

Episode 4: Beaten, Slandered and Broken

Episode 5: Everybody has a Secret

Episode 6: The Truth About Maya

Episode 7: What is Tara Hiding?

Episode 8: Another Mysterious Death

Episode 9: Conspiracy Revealed

Episode 10: A Killer Unmasked

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala Presents Non-Stop Intrigue

What I learned doing this assignment is: I can go deeper and deeper, mining my characters and discovering new character and plot points by using the patterns of intrigue exercise. It feels like my pitch bible is better after the exercise and I intend to repeat it again.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Intriguing Patterns

What I learned doing this assignment is: More intriguing plot points can be generated by using these patterns of intrigue on components of the pitch bible.

A. Establish something shocking and point to the terrible things it could mean.

A true, American blue-blood compared to his immigrant rival Viktor, Jacob Swanson was born with a silver spoon that came at a terrible price. To become a worthy scion of the family, Jacob faced years of abuse from his father for his mistakes.

B. Strong statement; question about something underhanded beneath the surface.

Jacob Swanson was born into wealth. But it is rumored that the privilege came at a terrible price for not just Jacob, but his brother and sister as well.

C. Question that points to hidden agendas, hidden identity, conspiracy, etc…

Jacob Swanson was born with a silver spoon. But what price did he pay to be chosen as his family’s heir over his brother and sister? What about growing up as a Swanson left him with pathological hatred for his family?

D. Character 1 is convinced/worried/wondering that Character 2 has done _____________.

Jacob was born with a silver spoon and everyone in his illustrious family takes his success for granted, except his wife, who wonders what terrible price her husband paid to become the Swanson family’s ‘chosen one’.

E. But maybe it is all wrong.

A true, blue-blood compared to self-made immigrant rival Viktor, Jacob was born with a silver spoon. But does it mean he led a charmed life? That he never faced pain, or fear, or shame? That he never lacked for anything because of his family’s billions? Not really. His life was anything but privileged.

F. A Pattern that Leads to Future Consequences.

Born with a silver spoon into a family of winners unlike Viktor, Jacob’s thirst for winning is unquenchable. But the very confidence, charisma and ruthless risk-taking learned at the family table are the traits that will make him take one risk too many in his obsession to defeat Viktor and become No.1.

G. If he does ________________, that means ___Intrigue_____.

Just because Jacob was born into money, doesn’t mean that he didn’t have to earn the keys to the kingdom. In fact, he paid a terrible price getting there.

H. State the mystery.

How did Jacob beat his brother and sister to become the Swanson family’s chosen heir? And how psychotic has he become in the process?

I. Should be/could be _______, but it is even worse.

Jacob Swanson is the epitome of the All-American success story. Handsome, at the top of his field and the heir to the Swanson family fortune, he is a shining star. Except, the road to his success was filled with fear and abuse, which has turned him into a sociopath.

J. Intense language.

Handsome, at the top of his field and the heir to the Swanson family fortune. Beaten, abused and starved as a child to make him learn. Will not stop short of killing or destroying his rivals to get what he wants.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Investigate Your Show

What I learned doing this assignment is: Once I started digging, my characters and plot changed in a way that made the story more complex. I need to keep digging to mine more nuggets and update my framework to reflect the new elements.

Use in TV Pitch Bible

– Make the lead character’s ethnicity different.

– Make his background and motivation more traumatic.

– Introduce a layer to his wife’s death.

– Introduce a character conflict through a business rival.

– Introduce an added conspiracy.

Use in Episodes

– Make the lead character’s ethnicity different.

– Make his background and motivation more traumatic.

– Introduce a layer to his wife’s death.

– Introduce a character conflict through a business rival.

– Introduce an added conspiracy.

Don’t use

– An FBI angle in Season 1.

– Rival as a long-lost sibling.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Show Summary

What I learned doing this lesson is: Writing a summary using elements from the BW framework actually yields better ideas for polishing up the framework more.

Format: Season Highlights

Amphetamine snorting, bondage-loving, workaholic merger and acquisitions whiz kid Aman Verma loves life on the edge and has what everyone wants- a soaring career, a beautiful wife and a fortune running into the millions. But his world is shattered when his wife, Maya, moves out and announces her intention to divorce him.

Why now? Because Maya has stumbled upon the one secret that Aman has guarded more closely than any other for years. He is a cold-blooded serial killer that no one’s ever found out about.

When Aman discovers that Maya knows the truth and is actively investigating him to gather more evidence, he hatches an intricate plot to silence her, beginning with a hit-and-run accident that fails to kill her and ending with a bullet to the brain under the guise of a mugging-gone-wrong.

But his clever plan is about to spectacularly backfire.

With Maya’s death triggering a media trial, a police investigation, the collapse of the biggest business deal of his life and worst of all, attracting the attention of a blackmailer who somehow knows his secret and is determined to profit off of it, Aman must use all his ingenuity to try and keep his secret hidden.

But with the spotlight shining more brightly on him than he ever wanted or counted on, can Aman succeed in staying in the shadows much longer? Or will he finally be exposed, bringing the curtain down on his killing days?

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Engaging Episode Descriptions

What I learned from doing this assignment is: it’s hard to write descriptions when your episode story points (hook, main character conflict, etc.,) seem flat. So I ended up rewriting my episodes a couple of times. Enjoyed the process and am looking forward to rewriting and further polishing up some of these elements.

Episode 1: Introducing the Vermas.

A killer who preys on young women strikes, claiming a new victim.

Once the cynosure of all eyes, couple Aman and Maya Verma are trapped in an unhappy marriage. But when Maya decides to leave him, Aman is determined to win her back. He confronts his sister-in-law for a chance to speak with his wife, but is denied the opportunity and is told that his dirty secret is out.

As he tries to figure out what caused Maya to leave suddenly and what secret she could have discovered, he finds out that someone has stumbled upon a secret locker belonging to him. On making enquiries, he is told that his locker has indeed been accessed recently. But he didn’t, so who did? What dark secret does the locker hold that it has Aman so concerned?

Episode 2: The Crash

A rookie FBI investigator, bored with intern-level tasks being assigned to her starts digging into missing women reports from across the country as a way of passing her time.

Aman and Maya continue to be estranged and Aman must shrug off the sudden upheaval in his life and focus on closing the biggest business deal of his career, something that will cement the legacy he has worked so hard to build. But with his mind preoccupied with trying to find out who is digging into his past and how his wife is connected, he is unable to bring his A game when he needs it most.

Maya is involved in a shocking hit-and-run accident. While the culprit escapes, Maya is left fighting for her life!

Episode 3: Cat-and-Mouse

Maya is alive, but barely. While she fights for her life in a hospital, Aman fights for his career at the negotiating table, while preoccupied with her survival. He tries to see her, but is turned away by Maya’s protective sister, who dislikes him intensely and blames him for the misfortune that befell Maya.

Out of frustration and concern, Aman threatens
his sister-in-law with consequences for preventing him from seeing his wife.
She ridicules him and discounts his threats, but little do they know that danger
stalks Maya. Unknown to them, an attempt will be made on her life in the
hospital!

Episode 4: Fallout

As Aman suffers from nightmares triggered by the recent traumatic events in their lives, Maya regains consciousness in the hospital, guarded by a police detail as long as she is in the hospital. Her sister decides to stay close and to keep Maya in the dark about the threat to her life while she recovers.

Aman must deal with the fallout his personal life is having on his work as the major business deal he has been working on falls through due to his lack of focus. But things are about to get murkier as a mysterious stranger continues digging into his life!

Episode 5: Third Time’s the Harm

The mysterious killer strikes again, claiming the life of another victim. Maya is recovering at her sister’s home and is moving forward with divorcing Aman, who is taking time off from work to deal with the failure of his big business deal. A sudden call that there may be a chance for the deal to be salvaged brings him back to work, but his performance is erratic, forcing his aide to take over negotiations.

Maya, against advice decides to venture out of
home for sun and air after her ordeal. Little does she know that she will soon
meet a tragic end! What is more chilling: Aman’s drug supplier is her killer!

Episode 6: Muddy Waters

A larger mystery is revealed as it becomes clear that Maya’s killer wasn’t acting alone. Who is his mysterious master and why did they want her killed? The police search for answers as they launch an investigation into her murder and Aman is the prime suspect, due to his threats when Maya moved out and announced her plans for a divorce. The press has a field day speculating Aman’s guilt when details of the investigation are leaked and with his reputation smeared across the front pages of newspapers and on TV, Aman is forced to step aside from his role at work to avoid blowback for the company.

In the meantime, the mystery of Maya’s death deepens when her killer is himself killed!

Episode 7: The Ties that Bind

The police get a break in their investigation when they get an anonymous tip about Maya’s killer, but they soon find out that he’s dead! As the media hounds Aman for comment, he goes berserk and attacks them, causing more scandal. He attempts to contact Maya’s sister, who accuses him of masterminding the murder and snaps ties with him.

Desperate for a break, Aman seeks legal options to gag the media and protect what’s left of his tattered reputation. But in a shocking twist, we come to know that he might indeed be connected to Maya’s death as he is revealed to be in possession of the burner phone that Maya’s murderer used!

Episode 8: When the Hunter Becomes the Hunted

Aman disposes of the phone that links him to Maya’s killer, but notices messages from another number on it. Who did the junkie talk to and what did he reveal to them?

The police declare Maya’s murder an
open-and-shut case and nothing more than a violent mugging. Things escalate at
work as Aman fails to regain control of his company and in a bid to prevent
further damage, he decides to go to the press to prove his innocence. But as
we’ve begun to discover, his innocence is a clever mask, which is in danger of
being torn off when he gets a call from the number Maya’s killer called from
Aman’s burner.

Episode 9: A Mystery Revealed

Aman confronts the mysterious caller who knows his connection to Maya’s death. Racking his brains for a means to escape this latest threat, Aman gives in to momentary weakness and sleeps with a young woman who recognizes him from TV and tries to seduce him for her share of notoriety.

As he realizes that he’s said more than he should while drunk, he decides to kill the woman. Even as he disposes off what he thinks is incriminating evidence, he gets a call from someone who knows a secret of his that is much darker and much more dangerous than the murder of his wife.

At risk of exposure now is the secret Maya accidentally
discovered and the reason she had to be killed – Aman is a serial killer who
has cleverly concealed his crimes for years.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  Avi K.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Episode List Rough Draft

What I learned doing this assignment is: It’s not easy to come up with a set of episodes and even just a rough list of main events for each one. It took me a while to come up with the list and it feels good to know that I can keep working on polishing this up more and more. IT’s the beginning, not the end.

EPISODE DETAILS:

Episode 1: A killer on the loose. Introducing the Vermas. Aman and Maya’s unhappy marriage.

· A young woman is murdered by a mystery killer on a moonlight date.

· A friend throws Aman and Maya Verma an anniversary party.

· Aman and Maya fight. She leaves the party abruptly, causing it to fail.

· Maya has an accident, which puts her in the hospital.

· RJ and Tara Verma are introduced. They blame their father for the accident.

· An unsuccessful attempt is made to kill Maya in the hospital.

Episode 2: Police investigation begins. Tara and her relationship. RJ and his lack of relationships. Tense dynamic between father and children.

· The police begin their investigation into Maya’s accident.

· Tara goes to her girlfriend, Beverly for comfort, but sees her kissing another woman.

· RJ records his feelings of loneliness and spends time at his mother’s bedside.

· Aman postpones a business deal.

· Aman tries to reach out to his children and is rebuffed.

· Maya regains consciousness, calls a stranger and confides that her life may be in danger.

Episode 3: Maya recovers and meets with a stranger.

· Maya is released from the hospital.

· She begins her recovery at home.

· Tara and RJ give her constant company. Aman is sidelined.

· Tara confronts Beverly. She does not tell her mother about the incident.

· Aman’s big business deal falls through.

· Maya ventures out to meet a strange man.

· Aman follows Maya and spies on her meeting.

Episode 4: Maya is killed in a mugging.

· Aman hires a PI to spy on his wife.

· Maya announces that she wants a divorce and will move out with the children.

· Aman is upset and has a big fight with Maya. Tara takes her mother’s side.

· Tara has a fight with RJ over his dislike for confrontation. She calls him a coward for not supporting their mother.

· Beverly reaches out to Tara to patch things up.

· The PI hired by Aman gets back to him with the info that the man Maya met is a PI himself.

· Maya goes for a run and is killed by a mugger.

Episode 5: Maya’s murder throws her family into chaos and a police investigation. The police get a tip.

· The police investigate Maya’s murder. All family members are interviewed.

· Tara, RJ and Aman have a hard time coming to terms with what happened.

· Aman tries to make peace with Tara and RJ so they can grieve as a family.

· Tara and RJ shut out Aman and bond as siblings.

· A mystery man kills the junkie mugger who killed Maya, with an overdose.

Episode 6: The police get an unexpected tip and find their suspect, but he’s already dead.

· The police get an anonymous tip off about Maya’s killer.

· They find the location of the killer, but discover he’s already dead.

· The family is informed about the developments and is advised that the trail may have run cold with the suspects death.

· Tara storms out to stay with Beverly to process the events.

· RJ tries to vent his anger and sadness by drinking and swimming till he passes out.

· The killer strikes again by murdering another woman.

Episode 7: Who killed Maya’s killer?

· The police close the case, claiming that they found the killer who was clearly a junkie after drug money.

· Aman, RJ and Tara try to fight the closing of the case without success.

· Maya’s will is read out and it leaves her wealth to her children.

· Tara and RJ discuss leaving their father after getting their inheritance.

· Aman receives a phone call…on the burner phone the mystery man who killed the junkie took from him.

Episode 8: Is Aman behind Maya’s murder?

· Aman calls the number back and someone picks up, but says nothing. When prodded by Aman, they ask where the junkie is.

· Aman disposes of the burner phone.

· Tara and RJ begin firming up their plans to leave home. They fight and Tara restates her contempt for RJ’s lack of goals in life.

· Aman gets a call at home, telling him that he (the caller) knows Aman killed the junkie to hide his secret- he had his wife killed.

Episode 9: Why did Aman conspire to kill Maya?

· Aman is shaken by the phone call revealing the truth.

· He ransacks Maya’s room, looking for something he doesn’t find.

· He ransacks the house, looking for something he doesn’t find.

· He confronts RJ and Tara and lies to them that their mother had a dark secret and he’s trying to destroy the evidence. Did they know anything?

· RJ and Tara react by telling him they’re planning on leaving the house.

Episode 10: Aman’s secret is known to a mysterious stranger, who begins to blackmail him.

· Aman is shocked to find a note taped to his car that calls him a killer.

· Shaken by the note, Aman screws up a major business deal.

· He goes drinking and picks up a woman.

· Aman and the woman drive to a cabin on a lake. We find out for the first time that it belongs to Aman.

· Aman and the woman have sex.

· Aman and the woman go for a swim in the lake at night and he drowns her.

· Aman comes back to the cabin and cleans up the traces of her being there.

· He finds a message on his phone and plays it out loud.

The message says ‘I know why your wife had to
die. It’s because she found out that you killed Sarita, Rita, Layla, Shauna and
the others…

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Five Seasons

LESSON 3: FIVE SEASONS

What I learned doing this lesson is: Thinking of season and show arcs early on is really helpful in giving structure to the idea, even though this is a rough draft.

1. Brainstorm to find the arc of the entire journey, from Season One to Five.

SEASON 1 START: Aman Verma is a respected businessman, whose wife stumbles upon a secret he has kept hidden for 25 years. He is a serial killer.

SEASON 5 END: Unable to kill his children, Aman decides to end it all rather than be caught.

2. Brainstorm the Stair Step version.

Season 1: A serial killer’s wife stumbles upon his secret.

Season 2: Despite his best efforts to conceal the secret, he is now being blackmailed by two people who know about it.

Season 3: Having gotten rid of the blackmailers doesn’t help, as a new threat emerges, threatening to expose his secret and destroy his life.

Season 4: Shocked by the discovery of their father’s past, Tara and RJ go to the police with evidence.

Season 5: Racing to escape the police, Aman is running out of options.

3. For each season, brainstorm the Building Blocks.

Season 1 Title: Till Death Do us Part

A. High Concept or major hook of the season: A wife stumbles upon a chilling secret- her husband is a serial killer.

B. Big Picture Arc/Journey: Aman’s veneer as a successful businessman, husband and father is torn away, revealing him to be a cold, calculating killer.

C. Main Conflict: The desperate steps he has to take for concealment after his wife finds out the truth about him.

D. Mystery/Open Loops: Will Aman be exposed by his wife? Can he silence her before? Will the police catch him?

E. Cliffhanger: Even after silencing his wife, his secret isn’t safe. Someone else knows and is blackmailing him.

Season 2 Title: Two is Company, three is a Crowd

A. High Concept or major hook of the season: Is the serial killer’s secret safe after his wife is silenced?

B. Big Picture Arc/Journey: Having silenced his wife, Aman must now contend with two different blackmailers. Can he succeed in silencing this new threat?

C. Main Conflict: Outwitting his blackmailers.

D. Mystery/Open Loops: Who are the blackmailers? Are they operating together? Will Aman be exposed by one of them? Can he silence both of them before? Will the police catch him?

E. Cliffhanger: Getting rid of the blackmailers doesn’t ensure his safety. A new threat emerges.

Season 3 Title: Play it again, Sam

A. High Concept or major hook of the season: Aman thought he was safe, but a new threat has emerged, threatening to expose him.

B. Big Picture Arc/Journey: Having successfully eliminated his blackmailers, Aman must now contend with a mysterious stranger whose motives are unknown. Can he succeed in silencing this new threat?

C. Main Conflict: Outwitting the new threat.

D. Mystery/Open Loops: Who is this new blackmailer? Is his motive money, or something else? Is he operating alone? Will Aman be exposed? Can he silence the stranger before? Will the police catch him?

E. Cliffhanger: Tackling his new nemesis doesn’t solve Aman’s problems. His children have found out his secret!

Season 4 Title: Sweet Child of Mine

A. High Concept or major hook of the season: Aman’s children have discovered the truth and they cannot be bought or threatened. What will he do?

B. Big Picture Arc/Journey: Having successfully eliminated his most-recent threat, Aman must now deal with his own children’s efforts to expose him and bring him to justice. Can he succeed?

C. Main Conflict: Outwitting his children and the police.

D. Mystery/Open Loops: Will Aman be exposed? Can his children gather the evidence the police need? Will the police catch him?

E. Cliffhanger: Aman is confronted with a choice – kill his own children and make the evidence they have disappear forever. Will he do it?

Season 5 Title: Que Sera, Sera

A. High Concept or major hook of the season: Will the killer finally be brought to justice?

B. Big Picture Arc/Journey: Aman uses all his wits to escape the police, but must eventually fail.

C. Main Conflict: Outwitting the police and fleeing the country.

D. Mystery/Open Loops: Can Aman escape, or will the police catch him?

E. Cliffhanger: Faced with the need to kill his children, Aman decides to end it all.

4. Write a description of each season and give us the 5 seasons.

SEASON 1: Till Death Do us Part

What happens when a wife finds out that her husband is a serial killer?

Aman Verma has the perfect life- a high-flying finance business, a loving wife and two great children. He is the envy of everyone who knows him. But beath the surface lurks ugliness: his marriage is falling apart; his wife wants a divorce and his children hate him. What could be worse? The exposure of his most chilling secret: he is a cold-blooded serial killer who has cleverly concealed his crimes for years!

As the clock begins to tick for him, Aman resorts to desperate measures to stay hidden and avoid capture, even if it means silencing his own family…

SEASON 2: Two is Company, three is a Crowd

What happens when a killer is confronted by not one, but two blackmailers?

Aman has successfully dealt with the threat posed by his wife. But he soon finds out that killing her hasn’t solved his problem. In fact, it’s the opposite- her death has drawn the attention of two blackmailers who are intent on extorting him for millions in return for not exposing him.

How does Aman contend with this twin threat? Can he discover the identity of his tormentors? Can he silence them before they become more unpredictable? Or will their patience run out and with it, his time?

SEASON 3: Play it again, Sam

Serial-killer, meet the Good Samaritan.

After he has eliminated his dual blackmailers, Aman soon discovers that there is a new threat in town. Someone else knows his secret and is intent on exposing him. When he discovers that the new threat is more unpredictable than his previous ones, Aman must figure out a way of dealing with it fast, or be finally brought down.

What can he do to tackle this danger? Or has he finally met his match?

SEASON 4: Sweet Child of Mine

It’s all in the family, again.

Aman’s disposal of his tormentor from Season 3 comes at a very high price. His children now know their father’s horrifying secret and are desperate to get hold of the evidence whose existence the Good Samaritan revealed to them. They want their mother’s murderer brought to justice.

Does Aman have it in him to do what it takes to stop them? Or is his heart not-so-cold, after all?

SEASON 5: Que Sera, Sera

He couldn’t bring himself to kill his children at the end of Season 4 and what that means for him is certain capture by the police, unless he can find a way to flee the country. As the noose tightens and his options decrease, Aman grows increasingly desperate.

Can he escape? Or will the killer finally face justice?

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Character Descriptions

What I learned doing this assignment is: character traits are fluid and can change. It is important to figure out how characters feed off or drive each other. It is difficult to not aim for getting it perfect in the first pass.

Who is the character: Aman Verma

Role in the show: Father, husband, top financier, serial killer

Noteworthy traits: Brilliant, introvert (AND extroverted as a mask), obsessive, impatient (temper?)

Intriguing history: How he evolved from being shy and bullied at school to being a successful financier.

Intrigue: kills women who he feels entrap men for gain, empowered to entrap them in return, conspires to kill his wife to hide his secret, risk being caught.

Mystery: How and when did he become a killer?

How do they support or drive the conflict with others: has tense relationships with his wife who feels neglected, daughter whose sexuality he can’t accept and son whose career choice and personality he feels disappointed with.

Irony — Opposites or paradoxes that exist with the character: has a family now after craving love for years, but has tense relationships with them.

Opposing agendas/etc. that naturally causes conflict with other characters:

Unpredictable: obsessive and easily angered, which leads to rash decisions.

Intriguing relationship with one or more characters: Maya, Tara and RJ.

Description:

START: A shy, bullied teenager whose mother died when he was young suffers multiple heartbreaks in love. He grows to resent women.

MIDDLE: Now successful, popular and married, he hides a dangerous secret. He’s a serial killer who entraps women. Will he be caught?

ENDING: obsessive and easily angered, which leads to rash decisions.

Edited Version:

Bullied and mocked at school, Aman Verma’s first love and best friend is his mother. But when she dies, he feels abandoned. When he falls in love for the first time, the object of his affection cruelly breaks his heart. He decides that women exist to hurt men and wants to extract vengeance.

Now a successful businessman, and a husband and father to a wife and two children, he hides a dangerous secret that can bring his whole world down. He is an obsessive, impulsive serial killer who entraps women. Will he be caught? Who will stop him? To what lengths will he go to keep his secret from being revealed and what price will his family pay for it?

Who is the character: Maya

Role in the show: Wife, mother, gave up a finance career for family

Noteworthy traits: Headstrong, outspoken, love for her children, anger with husband.

Intriguing history: How she met Aman, why she gave up her career and what caused her estrangement with her husband.

Intrigue: stumbling upon her husband’s secret, conspires with an investigator to investigate, alcoholism. Will it put her in danger?

Mystery: Why was she killed? Who killed her?

How do they support or drive the conflict with others: has tense relationship with her husband, her children dislike her alcoholism.

Irony — Opposites or paradoxes that exist with the character: Dislikes her weakness but uses alcohol as a crutch.

Opposing agendas/etc. that naturally causes conflict with other characters:

Unpredictable: disillusioned with her marriage, has become cynical.

Intriguing relationship with one or more characters: Aman, Tara and RJ.

Description:

START: A confident, driven woman who works hard to succeed in her career

MIDDLE: Father committed suicide when young, making her driven to support her family. Now trapped in an unhappy marriage that has turned her into an alcoholic, she puts up with her pain for her children. Stumbles upon her husband’s dangerous secret. Will she succeed in finding the truth and exposing him? Or is she putting herself in harm’s way?

ENDING: headstrong and outspoken, easily flies into rages.

Edited Version:

Feisty and headstrong Maya Ribeiro is no stranger to tough situations in life. Forced to work two jobs to support her family when her father commits suicide, she pays her own way through business school and becomes a successful asset manager. Haunted by her father’s abandonment, she is wary of trusting men until she meets Aman Verma, an equally driven colleague who shares her passion for work and understands her pain of losing a parent young.

Maya quits her job to start a company with Aman, marries him and then gives up her career to start a family. Now a mother of two children, she feels trapped in an unhappy marriage with a husband who has no time for her and resorts to alcohol to take the edge off. But alcohol is no comfort when she stumbles upon the fact that her husband is a cold-blooded killer. Can she succeed in exposing him? What price will her family pay if she does? Worse, what price will her family pay if she doesn’t?

Who is the character: Tara

Role in the show: daughter, sibling.

Noteworthy traits: Tenacious, stubborn, loyal.

Intriguing history: How she discovered she was gay.

Intrigue: will she discover the secret behind her mother’s death? Will she also stumble upon her father’s secret?

Mystery: how did she learn to pick locks?

How do they support or drive the conflict with others: has a tense relationship with her father and a dysfunctional, out-of-character one with her girlfriend. Annoyed by her brother’s perceived cowardice, but secretly protective of him. Disappointed by mother’s emotional weakness.

Irony — Opposites or paradoxes that exist with the character: despite valuing loyalty, she clings to her cheating girlfriend.

Opposing agendas/etc. that naturally causes conflict with other characters:

Unpredictable: rebellious, moody.

Intriguing relationship with one or more characters: Aman, Maya, Bev (girlfriend) and RJ.

Description:

START: A rebellious teenager who was once daddy’s little girl but has now grown apart.

MIDDLE: Is trying to get comfortable in her own skin, with her sexuality and secretly wishes she had her father’s support. Is angered by the lack of it. Hates that her girlfriend is a player, but is too insecure to leave her. Dislikes her mother’s lack of ‘fight’ and putting up with a failed marriage.

ENDING: stubborn and moody, she rubs a lot of people the wrong way.

Edited Version:

A rebellious, moody teenager, Tara Verma is torn between warring emotions most of the time. She’s obsessed with her new girlfriend, but hates her for cheating and is too insecure to confront her. She secretly wishes her father would hug her and support her sexuality, but disappointed by the lack of it, she lashes out at him.

She desperately wishes her mother would break out of her unhappy marriage and is devastated when she is killed. Will she discover who killed her and why? Will she stumble upon the same dark secret her mother did? Will she be able to overcome her disdain for her brother and join forces with him to protect themselves?

Who is the character: RJ

Role in the show: son, sibling.

Noteworthy traits: sensitive, quiet, hates confrontation.

Intriguing history: How he becomes a hacker.

Intrigue: will he discover the secret behind her mother’s death? Will he also stumble upon her father’s secret? Will he become bolder?

Mystery:

How do they support or drive the conflict with others: has tense relationships with his father and sister. Anguished by his mother’s suffering.

Irony — Opposites or paradoxes that exist with the character: wants to be loved, but too shy to speak up.

Opposing agendas/etc. that naturally causes conflict with other characters: wants to be a writer, which his father hates.

Unpredictable:

Intriguing relationship with one or more characters: Aman, Maya, Maya.

Description:

START: A quiet teenager who goes unnoticed by friends and family.

MIDDLE: Is trying to get the love and attention he craves for. But in a family of strong, dominant characters, he often gets overshadowed. Loved dearly by his mother, he wishes he had the strength and the means to make her feel better. Has no expectation that his father will ever support his career choice or fully embrace him.

ENDING: his dislike for conflict leads to a lot of time spent alone, which stokes loneliness in him.

Edited Version:

Fiercely non-confrontational and withdrawn, RJ (Rajiv) Verma is overwhelmed by his family and the world. He wishes his parents were happy and that his sister wouldn’t judge him. But the reality is that his parents are no longer in love, his father is distant and unsupportive and his sister thinks he’s a coward for not standing up to their father.

He finds solace in music, hacking government
services and writing poetry. Staying in his room most of the time, or by the
water somewhere, he feels like the Invisible Man, unloved and unseen. When his mother
dies, he is devastated and feels suicidal, but joins forces with his sister to
find out what happened to her. Will they discover the truth?

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Intriguing Concept and World

What I learned doing this lesson: My concept/hook and intriguing world still need a lot of brainstorming and refining.

LESSON 1: What Makes a Great TV Pitch Bible

1. Present your Concept.

Version 1:

A. A serial killer who must hide his past

B. when his family stumbles upon his secret

C. goes to extreme lengths

D. To prevent them from exposing his murderous secret.

Version 2:

A. A shy teenager bullied because of his looks

B. suffers repeated failures in love

C. grows into an obsessive killer

D. and must now prevent his family from discovering and exposing his secret.

Hook.

Version 1– A heartbroken teenager who grows into an obsessive killer must prevent his own family from discovering and exposing his secret.

Version 2 – A serial killer must convince his children he didn’t kill their mother, before they go to the police with evidence he did.

2. Tell us the World of this show.

Unique Sub-World: A teenager who grows into a serial-killer.

Previously unexplored: why he begins killing and how he finds new victims.

The unknown: will he be caught?

The unseen: police investigation, his wife and children’s investigation.

Unheard of Dangers: Being a public figure, he must conceal his murders very carefully.

Reason to explore it: how a family crumbles.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala is ready for feedback!

What I learned doing this assignment is: better ideas will continue to come my way as I process the various pieces of this framework. Looking forward to getting more and more clarity about my plot, characters, layers and everything else and further improving my framework as the course goes on!

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Creating Irony

What I learned from doing this assignment is: Irony is important to creating a layered story.

Assignment 1: Mr. Robot

1. The situation appears to be X, but it is really Y.

– Elliot works for Allsafe, which provides cybersecurity services to Evil Corp., but he is plotting to hack Evil Corp himself.

– Colby is the disgraced CTO of Evil Corp., but he is actually the man who decided to cover up the toxic leak.

2. In order to get X, they must give up Y.

– In order to bring down Evil Corp., Elliot must give up his principles and collaborate with Mr. Robot.

– Shayla must succumb to Vera’s advances to keep making money and supply Elliot with his drug.

3. The characters are avoiding X, but the thing they do to avoid it actually causes X.

– Twellick and his wife are plotting to land him the CTO’s job. But their efforts to do so actually get him fired.

– Elliot is skipping his meds to avoid confronting his past, but his mental illness and delusions worsen and land him smack in the middle of his past.

Character Irony:

· This could be a type of a paradox where they have opposite traits or want/need.

– Elliot wants love, but needs to not be around people.

– Shayla doesn’t want to have Vera in her life, but she needs the money.

– Twellick wants to be where he is, but needs to do his wife’s bidding and conspire to get the CTO’s job.

· 2. Or it could be that we are watching them violate their most important value to get something they need right now.

–

· 3. The character presents themselves one way, but it turns out to be another way either intentionally or because they don’t know themselves.

– Elliot is presented as a pawn in Mr. Robot’s game, but it turns out Mr. Robot is figment of his imagination.

– Angela’s boyfriend pretends to love her, but is actually cheating on her.

– Darlene is portrayed as someone who doesn’t like Elliot, but she is actually his sister and cares for him.

Assignment 2:

Situational Irony:

2. The situation appears to be X, but it is really Y.

– Aman throws an anniversary party for his wife, seemingly to win her over, but it is actually part of a plan to kill her.

– Maya appears to be having an affair with another man, but he is actually a PI and she’s meeting him to investigate her husband.

– Maya has been getting ready to leave Aman with their children. It seems like she’s doing it for another man or because she doesn’t love him anymore. But it’s because she’s stumbled upon his past and is scared for herself and the children.

– Aman’s children get close to him after Maya’s death, but they don’t know that he’s her killer.

– Aman appears to be a cheat, but he’s actually a serial killer who’s entrapping women based on their character profile (gold diggers).

3. In order to get X, they must give up Y.

– Aman has always wanted to be in a great relationship, but in order to succeed in his career, he must sacrifice his marriage.

– In order to keep his past hidden, he must kill his wife, who he loved.

4. The characters are avoiding X, but the thing they do to avoid it actually causes X.

– Maya is trying to flee from Aman, but her efforts to do so actually draw Aman’s attention.

– Aman’s efforts to hide his past by killing Maya actually trigger a series of events that might get him caught: investigation of the accident by the police, his blackmail by the junkie’s brother and by the PI that Maya had hired, his children accidentally overhearing a phone conversation that leads to them finding out).

–

Character Irony:

1. This could be a type of a paradox where they have opposite traits or want/need.

– Aman wants love, but needs to be liked, so he’d rather be friends than lose the women he likes romantically.

– Maya wants a great career, but she needs to have a family, which makes her give up her career.

– Tara wants to not care for her father’s approval about her sexuality, but she needs his approval and affection, so she lashes out at him at every opportunity.

– RJ wants to be a chef, but needs his father’s approval, so he tries to give up his want for his father.

2. Or it could be that we are watching them violate their most important value to get something they need right now.

– Maya values loyalty, but she’s turning a blind eye to what she believes is Aman’s cheating, to keep her family together.

3. The character presents themselves one way, but it turns out to be another way either intentionally or because they don’t know themselves.

– Because of his shyness, Aman pretends to be disinterested romantically, when he’s actually desperate.

– He’s a great conversationalist, but his wit is
a mask for shyness.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Intriguing Layers

What I learned from doing this assignment: Identifying plot and character layers can really help shape the story/season arc.

Assignment 1: Mr. Robot

Plot Layers:

Major
scheme revealed – Fsociety’s plan to bring down Evil Corp.
Mystery
revealed – Mr. Robot is Elliot’s father.
Thought the
story was one thing, but it is another – the story isn’t about Fsociety
and its plan to bring down Evil Corp. It’s about Elliot’s family history
and his mental illness.
Major shift
in Meaning – Mr. Robot is a figment of Elliot’s imagination. He doesn’t
really exist.
Hidden
history – Darlene is Elliot’s sister and Mr. Robot is his father.
Hidden plan
– Twellick and his wife are conspiring to land him the CTO’s job.
Major
betrayal – Twellick decides to help Fsociety hack Evil Corp after he is fired.

Character Layers:

Layer 1: Secret
Identity: Elliot is a vigilante hacker.
Layer 2:
Hidden Agenda: to destroy Evil Corp.
Layer 3:
Hidden Conspiracy: conspires with Fsociety to destroy Evil Corp.
Layer 4:
Hidden Character History: hallucinates about seeing his father when he
skips his meds.
Layer 5: Character
Intrigue:
Layer 6: Wound:
His father died due to Evil Corp’s scheming when he was a child.
Layer 7:
Hidden Conspiracy: Darlene is his sister and he conspires with her to
bring down Evil Corp.

Assignment 2:

Plot Surface: Aman and Maya are an unhappy couple. Then they get into a car crash. Maya dies in the hospital.

Layer 1
(Thought the story was one thing, but it is another): Maya has actually
been murdered.
Layer 2
(Mystery Revealed): Maya is murdered by Aman.
Layer 3 (Major
scheme revealed): Maya is murdered by Aman because she stumbles upon his
secret past.
Layer 4
(Conspiracy): Aman plotted with a junkie to cause the accident.
Layer 5 (Major
Betrayal?): The junkie conspired with his brother to blackmail Aman. After
the junkie’s death, the brother begins blackmailing Aman.
Layer 6 (Future
Consequences): The private eye that Maya hired to investigate Aman
contacts him and threatens to reveal Aman’s past if he’s not paid. His
children unwittingly hear the conversation.
Layer 7
(Hidden History): Aman is a serial killer and has murdered other women in
his past.

Character Surface: Aman Verma is finance tycoon in an unhappy marriage and family life. His children dislike him.

Layer 1: Secret
Identity: he is a killer.
Layer 2:
Hidden Agenda: to protect his past.
Layer 3:
Hidden Conspiracy: conspires with a junkie to cause a car accident and
kill his wife.
Layer 4:
Hidden Character History: He is a serial killer who has killed past girlfriends.
Layer 5: Character
Intrigue: Why did he kill so many women in the past?
Layer 6: Wound:
His mother died when he was a child and successive girlfriends used and
left him.
Layer 7:
Hidden Conspiracy: his children stumble upon his secret and conspire to get
him caught.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Big Picture Open Loops

What I learned doing this lesson is: Creating open loops allows you to shade your characters black, white or gray and keep playing with these shades to increase interest and intrigue.

Assignment 1: Mr.Robot Big Picture Open Loops

1. Will Elliot be caught for his vigilante hacking activities?

2. Will his morphine addiction worsen, making him a junkie?

3. Will he and Angela get together?

4. Who is Mr. Robot and what are his real motives for recruiting Elliot and trying to bring down Evil corp?

5. Will Fsociety succeed in bringing down Evil Corp?

6. What are Twellick’s motives?

Assignment 2:

CONSEQUENCES:

1. Are they going to be caught? Is Aman
going to be caught by the police for Maya’s murder? 2. Problems created from past actions?
Will his children and the police figure out that he’s killed other women in
the past?

SOLVING PROBLEMS:

3. What is the major problem for this
character? How to keep the police and his children from figuring out the
truth.

4. What are they trying to solve? Keep
the police and his children from investigating further. 5. Major change imposed on character? He
has to try and be a be better father.

6. Previous solutions cause new
problems? His wife stumbles upon the fact that he has killed other women in
the past. Also, he needs to dispose off the detective she hired to
investigate him. He also needs to dispose off a friend of the junkie he
hired to cause the car accident to kill his wife, as he is now blackmailing
him.

RELATIONSHIPS:

7. Relationships in peril? Friends and
business associates when the police begin investigating his wife’s death.

8. Conflict inside relationships? With
his children, who are suspicious that he killed their mother.

DANGER / SURVIVAL / RISKS:

9. Can they survive X? Can he survive
the police investigation?

10. Putting themselves in danger /
making dangerous decisions? Planning a car accident and being in the car
himself, to avert suspicion.

11. Internal dangers (drug addiction,
need for medicine, inner demons)? Amphetamines to increase his energy for
working harder and longer?

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Show Mysteries

Lesson 8: Inviting Obsession Through Mystery

What I learned through doing this lesson: It’s important to figure out what the immediate vs. long term mysteries are and prevent them from overlapping too much.

Assignment 1: Mr. Robot

Assignment 2

1. Create your Shocking Event Mystery and tell us the WWWWW and H, along with the part withheld.

A. Shocking Event: Maya dies in
the hospital after a car crash. Aman, who is also in the hospital, dreams
of her being smothered to death.

B. Secret: Did she die due to injuries,
or did someone kill her?

C. Investigation: The police
investigate the crash and Maya’s death.

WHAT: Maya dies after a car
crash while driving back from a party with Aman; WHEN: Same night; WHERE: in
the hospital.
Part Withheld: WHO did it? Aman
is the one who kills her in the hospital; WHY did they do it? Because she
has stumbled upon a huge secret of his; HOW: Aman orchestrated the
accident by hiring a junkie driver, then kills the driver after the crash,
fakes his injuries. When he sees Maya isn’t dead, he successfully kills
her in the hospital by smothering her.

· Ultimate Reveal: Maya is killed by someone.

· Ultimate Reveal 2: The accident is orchestrated.

2. Create the Over Time Mystery and tell us the WWWWW and H, along with the part withheld.

Mystery 2: Who is Aman? Why was Maya killed?

A. Cover up: Aman is presented
as a victim of the same accident that killed his wife, Maya.

B. Secret: He killed Maya.

C. Reveals:

WHO: Aman.

WHAT: killed Maya.

WHEN: night of the accident.

WHERE: In the hospital. Also the accident was orchestrated.

Part Withheld:

WHY: Because she’s close to figuring out his secret. He’s a serial killer who has killed many women earlier.

HOW: She had hired a private detective to dig up his past, after she finds a box of creepy memorabilia with photos.

[Avi K]

Avi KApurala’s Show Empathy/Distress

What I learned from doing this lesson: Adding distress and empathy to characters (especially main ones) adds interesting additional layers to a show’s concept. It also helps clarify a characters motivations even more.

Assignment 1

MR. ROBOT

A. Undeserved misfortune – Elliot’s
father dies when he’s a child. He has crippling social anxiety and
loneliness. <div>

B. External Character conflicts
– Intentional: Evil Corp caused his father’s death and monopolizes his
life at work. Unintentional: He’s addicted to morphine.

C. Plot intruding on life – Elliot
joins forces with Mr. Robot’s team to bring down Evil Corp., but finds his
methods too violent, so he quits. Then he rejoins the team, but is
distracted by Shayla’s problem with Vera and Elliot’s own addiction
issues.

D. Moral dilemmas – Must violate
people’s privacy to punish them for their misdeeds, then lie to conceal
what he’s doing. Lies to Angela about his secret mission to destroy Evil
Corp. Must also fight Mr. Robot’s plan to blow up Evil Corp’s data center
which will kill innocent people.

E. Forced decisions they’d
never make – to not make Mr. Robot’s plan public.

Big Picture Vs. Detail Oriented Distress:

Elliot’s morphine addiction is big-picture distress, but his attempt to protect Shayla from Vera and then having to release vera from prison to save Shayla’s life is detail-oriented distress.

His campaign to destroy Evil Corp is big-picture distress, while his encounters with Twellick are detail oriented-distresses.

Assignment 2

A. Undeserved misfortune – Aman’s
mother dies when he’s a child, he’s bullied at school because of his
looks. </div>

B. External Character conflicts
– Intentional: Aman is used by his first crush and then dumped. Unintentional:
struggles with his complex about his looks.

C. Plot intruding on life –
Aman wants to tell his crush about his love for her, but is not able to speak
with her privately. When he does, it is in the company of her best friend,
so he doesn’t speak his heart. When he does, she tells him she loves
someone else.

D. Moral dilemmas – To get over
his crush after she rejects him, but he feels torn at letting a gold
digger go unpunished.

E. Forced decisions they’d
never make – to kill his crush when he confronts her and she mocks him cruelly,
disclosing her true intentions.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Show Relationship Maps

What I learned from doing this assignment: Character maps are a great way of understanding how your characters will/should behave during the season.

Assignment 1

Character: Elliot

Map with Angela

Surface: Best friend

Common Ground: Grew up in the same town, lost parents to leukemia.

Conflict: She thinks he’s detached.

History: Neighbors, co-workers.

Subtext: Tension

Relationship Arc: Close to estranged to friends.

Map with Mr. Robot

Surface: Co-conspirator

Common Ground: Hacking Evil Corp.

Conflict: Mr. Robot is too violent for Elliot’s liking.

History: Fight over methods, but find a way to work together for the common goal.

Subtext: He’s Eliot’s father

Relationship Arc: Comrades to estranged to relationship.

Map with Shayla

Surface: Supplier-girlfriend

Common Ground: Drugs, sex.

Conflict: His aloofness and her clinginess.

History: Classmates, on-and-off tension.

Subtext: Emotional need.

Relationship Arc: Supplier to friends to lovers.

Assignment 2

Character: Aman

Map with Maya

Surface: Marriage-wife

Common Ground: Marriage.

Conflict: Little time spent together after marriage. Aman is too busy with work.

History: They were classmates in an MBA program and then started a firm together.

Subtext: She was a better student than him. Gave up her partnership in the firm after marriage.

Relationship Arc: Classmates to marriage to murder.

Map with Tara

Surface: Father-Daughter

Common Ground: Daughter. Horse-riding.

Conflict: Lack of quality time together. Disapproves of her being gay.

History: Daughter.

Subtext: She hates her father for putting her mother through loneliness and depression, and for his discomfort with her sexuality.

Relationship Arc: Doting daughter to estranged to suspecting him of murdering her mother.

Map with RJ

Surface: Father-Son

Common Ground: Son-automobiles and racing.

Conflict: Lack of quality time together. Picks on him (son) for being emotionally weak and wanting to become a chef.

History: Son.

Subtext: Hates his father for putting him down before friends and family and lack of support for career interest.

Relationship Arc: Friends to estranged to suspecting him of murder.

Character: Maya

Map with Aman

Surface: Marriage-wife

Common Ground: Marriage.

Conflict: Little time spent together after marriage. Aman is too busy with work. Suspects he cheats.

History: They were classmates in an MBA program and then started a firm together.

Subtext: She was a better student than him. Gave up her partnership in the firm after marriage.

Relationship Arc: Classmates to marriage to murder.

Map with Tara

Surface: Mother-Daughter

Common Ground: Daughter. Romantic movies. Poetry.

Conflict: Critical of her mother’s hesitation to leave her father. Sees it as emotional cowardice.

History: Daughter.

Subtext: Fiercely protective of her mother.

Relationship Arc: Doting daughter to critical.

Map with RJ

Surface: Mother-Son

Common Ground: Son-Cooking, painting.

Conflict: Feels like she is over-protective and embarrasses him with friends.

History: Son.

Subtext: Best friends.

Relationship Arc: Friends to slightly aloof/secretive on account of over-protectiveness.

Character: Tara

Map with RJ

Surface: Brother.

Common Ground: Siblings.

Conflict: Disapproves of him not standing up for their mother against their father. Thinks he’s a coward.

History: Siblings.

Subtext: Tension.

Relationship Arc: Close to estranged to allies.

Map with Bev

Surface: Girlfriend

Common Ground: Romantic relationship.

Conflict: Bev has a wandering eye, which Tara hates.

History: Classmates-turned-lovers. Fight like cats and dogs.

Subtext: Betrayal.

Relationship Arc: Love to estranged to breakup.

Map with Nik

Surface: Best friend.

Common Ground: Indian heritage, Classmates.

Conflict: He likes her romantically and feels like her sexuality is a phase. She hates his condescension.

History: Classmates, on-and-off tension.

Subtext: Friends.

Relationship Arc: Friends to estranged.

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Character Emotions

What I learned from doing this lesson is: 1. it is important to think of the right emotional layers in the context of the plot. 2. It is important to select the right emotional layers in order to keep the character intriguing over a period of time. 3. It is tricky to distinguish emotions from each other.

Assignment 1: MR. ROBOT: Elliot

A. Hope: Overcoming his loneliness/ Fear: Being abandoned.

B. Want: to be left alone / Need: love.

C. Base Negative Emotion: Anxiety / Public Mask: Aloofness.

D. Weaknesses: need to fix wrongs, judgment.

E. Triggers: injustice, fear of being abandoned

F. Coping Mechanism: shuts down, lie.

Assignment 2: Aman

A. Hope: Finding Love/ Fear:
Being abandoned.

B. Want: Love / Need: To be
liked.

C. Base Negative Emotion: Desperation
/ Public Mask: Aloofness.

D. Weaknesses: Anger, Impatience,
obsession.

E. Triggers: being ignored, delays
in communication, disagreements.

F. Coping Mechanism: shut down,
lie, fight back.

[Avi K]

Assignment 1: MR. ROBOT

Role: A skilled hacker with
mental health issues who fights injustice as a vigilante.

Hidden agendas: Wants to take
down Evil Corp

Competition:

Conspiracies: Joins the Fsociety,
a secret group of hackers to help with taking down Evil Corp.
Secrets: Is a vigilante hacker
who intrudes into the personal life of people he encounters and is also secretly
conspiring to bring down major corporation.

Deception: Is concealing his
crimes from his coworkers, family, friends, etc.

Wound: Father passed away when
young, so he feels abandoned by the person he loved most. Suffers from
social anxiety and loneliness.

Secret Identity: Handing out
vigilante-style justice to offenders.

Assignment 2: For your Inner Circle characters, fill in any of the Intrigue items that apply.

Character Name: Aman

Role: A shy
teenager-turned-finance-whiz who keeps failing at finding love.

Hidden agendas:

Competition:

Conspiracies:

Secrets: Has killed seven women

Deception: Is concealing his
crimes from his coworkers, family, friends, etc.

Wound: Mother passed away when
young, so he feels abandoned by the woman he loved most. Endures heartbreak
each time he falls in love with a woman.

Secret Identity: Is a serial
killer

[Avi K]

Avi Kapurala’s Engaging Main Characters

What I learned doing this assignment is: To not get stuck in the details and to think high-level when needed.

Assignment 1: MR. ROBOT

Engaging Main Character: Elliot Alderson

A. Role in the show: A
cybersecurity firm employee with mental health issues and exceptional
coding skills. <div>

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Hacking
skills

C. Intrigue: What is secret
beneath the surface? He is a vigilante hacker.

D. Moral Issue: What moral
boundaries are they crossing? Hacking into people’s private lives and
information, lying.

E. Unpredictable: What will
they do next? He feels the need to protect people he cares about, or who
he thinks have suffered injustice and takes matters/retribution on their
behalf without their knowing.

F. Empathetic: Why do we care?
Because he suffers from crippling social anxiety and loneliness.

Assignment 2:

1. Tell us the journey of your show. – A shy teenager who suffers multiple heartbreaks becomes a clever serial killer.

2. Who are the main characters that will sell your show? – Aman

3. Answer these questions for each of those characters.

A. Role in the show: A shy
teenager-turned-finance-whiz who keeps failing at finding love. </div><div>

B. Unique Purpose: To entrap
women.

Expertise : great conversationalist.

C. Intrigue: What is secret
beneath the surface? He kills women
when they reject him. </div>

D. Moral Issue: What moral
boundaries are they crossing? Murder. He kills women who he feels used him
for material benefit and then tossed him aside.

E. Unpredictable: What will
they do next? He begins to feel empowered to seek out victims.

F. Empathetic: Why do we care?
Because he suffers from serial heartbreak in his quest for love.

[Avi K]

What I learned doing this lesson:

The importance of not trying to get everything perfect right away. I kept thinking ‘who else?’ and had to remind myself to do what came to mind quickly at first.

Assignment 1: MR. ROBOT CHARACTERS

A. Main Characters Circle: Eliot, Angela, Angela’s boyfriend, Shayla, Mr. Robot.

B. Connected Circle: Gideon, Twellick, Colby, Vera, Darlene, Krista, Ron, Hansen.

C. Environment Circle: Coworkers, Fsociety hackers, crowds on streets, cafes and restaurants, Evil Corp goons, lawyers, etc.

Assignment 2: Avi Kapurala’s Three Circles of Characters

A. Main Characters Circle:

1. Aman- our protagonist, who transforms from a heartbroken teenager to a killer who murders the women who reject him.

2. Tara- Aman’s high-school age daughter.

3. Raj- Aman’s high-school age son.

4. Maya- Aman’s wife, who he meets in his late 30s.

5. Sarita- Aman’s first crush and heartbreak at 15.

B. Connected Circle: Aman’s
mother, Aman’s father, Sarita’s friend Kavs, Paul, Harish, AJ.
C. Environment Circle: School teachers,
classmates, store employees, passers-by on the street, crowd in movie
theaters, bakeries.

[Avi K]

PILOT: MR. ROBOT

What I learned during this assignment is:

Creating engaging characters is crucial to crafting a Bingeworthy show and to do this, they need to have wounds and wrinkles that make them relatable and/or endearing to the audience. It also felt like your audience doesn’t have to start off liking the show, but as long as you can keep their interest, they will, by the end of the Pilot. I also learned that it is important to watch with your ‘writer’s hat’ on in order to get better at your craft.

Big Picture Hooks
Ask this: What is the big hook of this show? <div>

The main character, Eliot is
a cyber-security expert, who becomes a vigilante hacker-by-night to fight
injustices he sees.

Amazing and Intriguing
Character

Ask this: What makes these main characters intriguing and interesting?

Eliot has had a traumatic childhood and is emotionally vulnerable. It makes
the audience feel almost protective towards him. His personal crusade
against injustice and the odds at which this places him with his day-job
also makes his character intriguing.

Empathy / Distress

Ask this: What situation causes us to feel both empathy and distress for
this character? </div>

His emotional wound and vulnerability.

Layers / Open Loops

Ask this: What questions are created by this first episode that can only
be answered by watching the entire season? </div>

1. Does Eliot get caught for
his role in hacking Evil Corp.? 2. Do Angela and Eliot get together in
later episodes? 3. Does Eliot go back to do another assignment for the FSociety?
4. Does Eliot accept Twellick’s
job-offer in later episodes?

Inviting Obsession

Ask this: How does this pilot create the need to see every single episode?</div>

It makes you want to find out what happens to Eliot, and if he and
FSociety can bring about Evil Corp’s downfall.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  Avi K.

[Avi K]

Avinash Kapurala

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Avi K]

Hello Everyone,

My name is Avi Kapurala. I’ve just joined this class (a few weeks late)!

I haven’t completed any scripts so far, but have started working on a couple of ideas.

Through this course, I hope to be able to grow my skills from conceptualization to execution. That is, how to take an idea, then write the best script possible and then be able to sell it.

My background is in journalism and technology, so this is a big, scary leap for me! I feel as though I’m taking the first steps in going after a longtime dream goal- to be a successful writer.

I look forward to working with all of you in the weeks to come. Thanks!