Barbara Fix
Forum Replies Created
-
"LOST" 5-Star Points
What I learned is to pay attention to the points that make something binge-worthy; be highly aware of the exact formula that hooked me so I can create it myself. Watching a 2nd time , of course, I saw more. 🙂
Big Picture Hooks
Ask this: What is the big hook of this show?
— An airplane crashes on an island that has mysterious and dangerous things going on; this is not your normal island, and maybe some of the passengers are dangerous too..Amazing and Intriguing Character
Ask this: What makes these main characters intriguing and interesting?
There's a good mix of characters from possibly dangerous to the hero [doctor], to people running away from something, a junkie likely to cause trouble, a pregnant lady which is the last thing they need in a situation like this.Empathy / Distress
Ask this: What situations causes us to feel both empathy and distress for these characters?
There's destruction, an explosion and fires so high stress and injured passengers amongst many dead ones. AND they find out they re well and truly fucked since they are lost; the radar quit while on the flight so no one knows where they are. And there's something very dangerous that killed the pilot.Layers / Open Loops
Ask this: What questions are created by this first episode that can only be answered by watching the entire season?
Will they get of the island? Where the hella re they? Will that smoke creature kill them all? What is it?Inviting Obsession
Ask this: How does this pilot create the need to see every single episode?
Will these people survive their ordeal and what is the mystery of this island? Odd things happen too: like show hanging from tree. Charlie asks: "how does that happen?"-
This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by Barbara Fix.
-
This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by
-
Tell us the following:
1. Name? Barbara Foxx and hello, life got in the way so I am about a month late to the party.
2. How many scripts you’ve written? I have written over 20 scripts. Had about 15 produced; mostly TV Movies in the thriller genre. II have worked on 2 series, but they have not been produced and maybe now, I will revive them. I definitely feel this is an area I need to improve in.
3. What you hope to get out of the class? To keep honing in on the craft of writing. I always feel we can get better and better and with the aid of AI, perhaps surprise ourselves with creation beyond what we have previously achieved. I feel AI will be the ‘two heads are better than one’ vibe. I often write with a partner and find we work well off each other. Wondering if AI will be even better.
4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? I am an identical twin. She is also a writer but of books.We look forward to working with you all!
-
Barb Fix’s Horror Outline #1:
I learned to pack in a punch to my horror scenes.
1. INT. SANITARIUM – DAY
A nurse begins her shift to check on patients in a run-down creepy sanitarium. There’s chaos afoot and high-level security as this is for the criminally insane. Its a tense place and job. She enters restricted wing with 2 orderlies as guards.
2. INT. SANITARIUM – RESTRICTED WING – DAY
Within minutes she notices a deathly quiet and she and 2 orderlies discover something that makes them scream and throw up, cross themselves.
Horror Sit’n: Everything is super quiet and a door open.
Apprehension: Ellen and 2 orderlies exchange worried glances – this is not right and could mean bad to come.
3. INT. SANITARIUM – UTILITY ROOM – DAY
Inside a room are 11 brutally murdered co-workers – throats slit, eyes gouges out and hung nup. And an inmate Nick Cosomo is sitting there eating an eye-ball. The 2 orderlies try to tazer him and a struggle ensues bumping bodies about – super macabre, tense and terrible. Other doctors etc arrive and all are shocked at what they see. One doctor, Dr Chambers, sees his wife is one of the victims. He orders 2 orderlies to catch Cosomo and follow him. They do and drag Cosomo along, who acts like this is fun and games and he’s the star of the show.
Horror Sit’n: Everyone is dead, hanging.
Horror: Everyone brutally murdered. Blood everywhere. Killer/patient sits calmly and eats an eyeball.
Panic: 2 orderlies get into chaotic fight with killer/patient and bodies hanging are knocked around.
Apprehension: What will Dr C do when he sees his wife dead? What is he going to do to the killer/patient when he insists they drag him away after him?
4. INT. SANITARIUM – TREATMENT ROOM – DAY
The orderlies strap Cosomo into a chair. Dr CHambers orders them to leave and locks the door. He pulls out a scapula and starts to shave Cosomo’s temples. Cosomo plays within until he realizes the Dr is serious and is going to fry his brain, his oath meaning nothing. Cosomo freaks out and tries to get free. The police arrive and try to break down the door but Dr. Chambers ignores them and also ignores Cosomo when he suddenly says he DID NOT kill them, someone else did, but he wanted the credit. Dr Chambers is gone – he fries Cosomo, turning him into a vegetable before the police kick the door down.
Horror Sit’n: Dr C is going to harm the killer/patient.
Apprehension: Orderlies wonder what will Dr C do?
Fear: Cosomo finially realizes he is going be fried, and
Panic: Cosomo yells out for help and insists he did not do the killings.
25 YEARS LATER
5. EXT. ROAD – DAY
People are on the GOING TO HELL TOUR to visit murder sites. Their last stop is the sanitarium, now in disrepair but inside is a serial killer museum that has never opened as people protested and courts shut it down. We meet all the character – Charlie, Sandy, Barb, Taylor, Carson, Julie, Merrick, Sam, Terry, Yuko, Toshi, Lily, Lorraine and the Aussi. They stop and get out so bus driver/tour guide will tell them more.
6. EXT. SANITARIUM – CONT
They meet the creepy caretaker.
So far the tour has been lame so Charlie offers to pay the caretaker to let them see it. They are warned off <font face=”inherit”>by both bus driver and the caretaker, but decided to take it even further than an hour and stay OVERNIGHT as no one gets to see this museum. Charlie offer $1000 and $500 to tour guide come back in morning. He thinks its a great spot to shoot his next movie and that it will inspire him. Some agree to stay, each with a good reason to see the serial killer museum.
Their safety is taken away by caretaker, who takes their cell phones so no calls can be made.
Horror Sit’n: Caretaker is creepy. Then he insists on taking their phones.
Apprehension: People are taken aback by caretaker looks and vibe. Some people are Anxious about going in and get talked into it.
7. INT. SANITARIUM – DAY
Within seconds of entering Bloodied bodies fall after they trip a wire. Its a set-up prank before the serial killer displays. They are terrified and scatter, falling all over the place. They gather themselves, chuckle and look for room to gather and dump their stuff as caretaker mentioned before they start exploring. Everyone was rattled, but ok now.
Honor Sit’n: A prank scare them.
Fear/Panic: The bloodied bodies drop one by one in the gloom scares the heck out of all of them. They scatter screaming!
Release: They get its a prank tripped by remote.
8. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>INT. SANITARIUM – DAY
Lily and Aussie set off alone as not into groups, while the others make plan to regroup in abhor as Lorraine says she is scared and wants out. Charlie mad b/c he paid $1000 and has the walkie so not agreeing until an hour has passed as maybe an hour is enough item anyway and they can all leave together. So its agreed to meet back in an hour.
9. INT. SANITARIUM – VARIOUS ROOM – DAY
People start exploring in various groups.
10. INT. SANITARIUM – Cannibal ROOM – DAY
Several are here when a man in Mexican mask enters with torquing drill. He is tackled and its revealed to be Charlie messing around. People are mad at him. He and Sandy leave.
Horror Sit’n: man threatens them with drill.
Fear/Panic: everyone screams and moves away.
Release: Merrick tackles guy and its just Charlie – prank 2.
11. INT. SANITARIUM – Samurai ROOM – DAY
Barb and Taylor talk with Japanese couple about serial killers in USA.
12. INT. SANITARIUM -Medical WARD – DAY
Sandy and Charlie are making out and someone with a bloody hand is watching them. Suddenly they hear a scream. They luckily leave the room alive and go to see what the scream is.
Horror Sit’n: someone is watching them and then scream elsewhere.
Apprehension: the bloody hand tells us someone is a killer!
Fear: Sudden scream.
13. INT. SANITARIUM – Room – day
Lots are gathered and some say they have to show them something. So when they enter, its another prank. Some get scared. After they realize its been an hour so they need to take the vote.
Horror Sit’n: A body swinging an axe comes at them.
Fear: Screams. Charlie is especially scared.
Release: Yet a 3rd prank, but good one.
14. INT. SANITARIUM – Ward – NIGHT
They go back to the entrance ward but not everyone showed up. Its dark outside now. Lorraine wants to go. Charlie and Taylor set out to find the others after Charlie pleads to stay longer. He tosses walkie to Lorainne to appease her.
15. INT. SANITARIUM – Various ROOM and halls – NIGHT
Charlie and Taylor look for the others. They notice a sword is missing. Decided to split up to cover ground faster.
16. INT. SANITARIUM – STAIRS – NIGHT
Charlie goes up and is cornered by a figure in black with the sword. He is killed as his body falls 3 flights. His fingers are chopped off and fall around him.
Horror SIt’n: Charlie cornered by killer with sword.
Apprehension: Charlie thinks its a prank at first.
Surprise: its not; the figure is serious and swings at him.
Fear: Charlie gets that this is real.
Horror: He tries to save himself, cutting off his fingers in process.
17. INT. SANITARIUM – Various ROOM and halls – NIGHT
Everyone hears his scream.
Taylor finds his body and runs for the ward where everyone else is.
Horror Sit’n: Screams are heard. Taylor sees body and blood.
Surprise: Taylor thinks its a prank then sees blood.
Fear/Panic: Taylor sees blood, then Charlie’s body falls, then fingers.
Horror: He runs away to find others.
Release: group thinks its one joke too many and are chilling.
18. INT. SANITARIUM – Ward – DAY
Carson and Julie have returned just before Taylor runs in saying Charlie is dead. They all laugh at him and say he’s been fooled by another Charlie prank. They all heard the screams and feel Charlie is just getting them back, but its bullshit. Taylor insists they follow him to Charlie’s body.
19. INT. SANITARIUM – SPOT OF Charlie’s death -NIGHT
NO BODY NO BLOOD. Taylor insists but no one believes him. As they leave we see a bloody finger hidden.
Horror Sit’n: finger hidden, but all else gone.
Apprehension: The body and blood is all gone. Who did that?
Fear: It is gone but one bloody finger hidden from site. This is real!
20. INT. SANITARIUM -Ward – NIGHT
The group discuss they need to find the missing 2 people and that Charlie is likely playing games and trying to mess around still… probably hired the caretaker etc etc. Anyway, they split up to cover ground faster and find themishing 2 and get out of there.
21.INT. SANITARIUM – Elevator – NIGHT
Sandy has a near miss in elevator stop and start, almost getting killed, but sigh of relief. But she gets out and sees figure in black.
Horror Sit’n: Sandy almost killed in elevator.
Apprehension: elevator stuck.
Surprise: door easy to open so tries to get out.
Fear: elevator starts to move when she is stuck in door
Release: elevator stops just in time. She gets free and falls into hallway, safe.
22. INT. SANITARIUM – Hallway – NIGHT
Assumes its Charlie and yells at him, but realizes its not and runs into …
Horror Sit’n: Yells at figure but realizes its someone else with a sword.
Fear: not Charlie, but someone with sword.
Panic: runs.
23. INT. SANITARIUM – KITCHEN – Night
Looking for a hiding spot. Gets in the oven as huge and unlikely. But killer figures it out and locks the door with the sword na turns on high, roasting Sandy.
Horror: Sit’n: Sandy hidden in oven. Killer finds her and turns it on.
Anxiety: can she hide from person?
Fear: hears scraping at door.
Horror: oven turned on and she is stuck inside!
24. INT. SANITARIUM – Fisherman ROOM – NIGHT
Barb and Taylor discuss why each is there and wanted to stay. Barb reporter doing story.
25. INT. SANITARIUM – Knitting Needle ROOM – NIGHT
Toshi and Yuko have fun here…. Martha Stewart and Snoop convo.
26. INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Lorraine finds out info on Sam. Terry and Merrick lag behind. Find info room.
27. INT. SANITARIUM – INFO ROOM – NIGHT
In this room they see caretaker in photo!!!
28. INT. SANITARIUM – SLICER ROOM – NIGHT
Toshi and Yuko find dead Lily. SUicide or murder? Yuko screams. Some come running.
Horror Sit’n: Dead body found.
Fear: Yuko screams.
Panic: everyone runs to them.
Apprehension: did she kill herself or murdered?
Anxiety: some do not want to stay anymore. Get out!
29. INT. SANITARIUM – BUTCHER ROOM – NIGHT
Carson and Julie talk. They smell something and follow nose. Julie goes to bathroom while Carson heads in to kitchen. THEY DID NOT HEAR the scream.
30. INT. SANITARIUM – SLICER ROOM – NIGHT
Everyone gather who heard and want to get out of there. Where’s the walkie? In ward. They head there.
31. INT. SANITARIUM – KITCHEN – NIGHT
Carson sees Sandy dead and baked. He runs. Finds Julie, tell her and they run.
Horror Sit’n: Carson finds Sandy in oven.
Apprehension: will Carson find Sandy?
Fear: Carson realizes its Sandy in oven.
Panic: he yells at Julie to run!
32. INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Carson runs into a terrible trap that injures him and holds him trapped.Julie faints from all the blood.
Horror Sit’n: Carson trapped in deadly trap.
Panic: the 2 are trying to get away fast.
Anxiety: Carson leaves Julie in his dust.
Fear: Julie hears Carson’s scream
Horror: She sees why he screamed.
33. INT. SANITARIUM – WARD – NIGHT
Walkie is gone. People are freaking. Merrick freaking about who is killer….makes list. Taylor admits he is grandson of Dr CHambers. Merrick goes after him. Barb stops it. CHILL! Yuko and Tishri think one of them is the killer so sneak away. The others see and try to stop them, but they run. They decide to go out in groups and find the ones missing and get out of there.
34. INT. SANITARIUM – SLICER ROOM – NIGHT
Julie wakes and tries to get Carson out of trap of hooks BUT then a long knife is stuck in his belly and worked down. Kills him. Julie runs.
Horror Sit’n: Julie tries to free Carson.
Anxiety: he’s fucked and she is not sure how to help.
Surprise: he encourages her to do awful things.
Panic: she stabs herself; he keeps screaming.
Horror: see why he is screaming; being gutted.
Fear: Carson yells run!
35. INT. SANITARIUM – Military ROOM – NIGHT
Yuko and Tosi killer one after another, swiftly.
Horror Sit’n: T and Y killed quickly.
Surprise: Yuko sees Toshi loose his head. Then suddenly knife coming at her.
36. INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Sam and Lorraine chatting. She forgot cigarettes so puts Sam in a cell to keep him safe and dashes off.
37. INT. SANITARIUM – bathROOM – NIGHT
Julie hides in stall.
38. INT. SANITARIUM – cell – NIGHT
Sam is trapped in a jail cell, sprays with lighter fluid and set afire. Lorraine returns and finds him dead – she is devastated.
Horror Sit’n: Sam sprays with lighter fluid and lit afire.
Surprise: Sam thinks its Lorraine but sees figure.
Anxiety: What the hell is being spraying at him?
Fear: he smells what it is.
Panic: tries to get out of the way.
Horror: see match coming.
Monster reveal: can be anywhere and has all the tools to kill.
39. INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Terry and Merrick argue about kills stuff.
40. INT. SANITARIUM – kill ROOM – NIGHT
Horror Situation: Barb and Taylor find the room were the murders took place 25 years earlier
41. INT. SANITARIUM – Medical ROOM – NIGHT
Terry decides to pull him into medical ward where Charlie and Sandy were and seduce him. Terry is killed. Marrick injured and gets chased.
Horror Sit’n: Terry and Merrick making out. Terry killed. Merrick injured.
Surprise: Merrick wonders why Terry quiet.
Fear: see arrow through her head.
Panic: tries to get clothes back on.
Horror: as running, his achilles is sliced and he falls.
42. INT. SANITARIUM – bathROOM – NIGHT
Julie still hiding.
43. INT. SANITARIUM – kill ROOM – NIGHT
Merrick being pursued and terrorized. Injured with hammer and knocked out.
Horror Sit’n: Merrick fallowing by killer.
Release: killer gone so Merrick is relieved.
Fear: see it coming again.
Panic: can’t move fast enough.
44. INT. SANITARIUM – ROOM – NIGHT
Taylor and Barb find bloody footprints of rats and follow them until they find the brutally murdered Ozzy. Rate are eating him.
Horror Sit’n: B and T find bloody footprints and follow.
Surprise: not sure what the marks are.
Apprehension: its blood and lots of them.
Horror: see body being eaten!
Panic: there’s a killer!
45. INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Lorraine scared
46. INT. SANITARIUM – bathROOM – NIGHT
Julie hears someone come in to pee…its the killer, but she is not found.
Horror Sit’n: Julie knows killer is in bathroom with her.
Apprehension: someone enters.
Fear: sees the black fabric.
Release: person exits.
47. INT. SANITARIUM – ROOM – NIGHT
Barb and Taylor there IS A KILLER for sure and not someone messing around; they need to escape.
Horror Sit’n: they know now.
Anxiety: there is a killer and its very quiet – where are the others?
Panic: lets get out of here!
48. INT. SANITARIUM – Dryer – NIGHT
Merrick awakes he finds himself in a dryer with broken glass. Its turned on and he is ripped to shreds.
Horror Sit’n: Merrick in dryer to die.
Surprise: Merrick wonders where he is.
Fear: cuts hand and realizes there’s glass.
Surprise: see killer; knows who it is!
Horror: Dryer turned on and he spins killing him.
49. INT. SANITARIUM – hallways – NIGHT
Lorraine is moving along. She pulls out a building schematic. Why does she have that!?
Julie is moving along elsewhere looking for exit.
Barb and Taylor also and ….
50. INT. SANITARIUM – office ROOM – NIGHT
Taylor and Barb discover a room that gives them information on the facility and almost figure out who the killers are talking back and forth about what they recall about the girl, when the twins suddenly appear and confirm it. The twins want to revel in their plan and show off, telling them all.
Horror Sit’n: B and T figure its maybe the twins. The twins appear.
Surprise: at the information and then the appearance of the twins admitting they are the killers and now it makes sense that one played dead to get around.
Apprehension: what next?
Monster reveal: its explained how they were able to pull it off.
51. INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Barb tells them they are insane and Lorraine shoots her, she falls over railing 2 stories down and seems dead. Then she knocks out Taylor. The 2 talk about their successful night and Lily says she saved one {Julie] for Lorraine since she got everyone else. They drag Taylor off toward treatment room.
Horror Sit’n: Barb shot and T dragged off.
Surprise: Barb shot. She teeters at edge.
Fear: T tries to grab her incase she falls.
Horror: Pushed over and falls 2 floors. T knocked out.
52. INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Julie rushes to Barb and shakes her awake. She tells her she heard everything and helps wrap Barb’s wound.
53. INT. SANITARIUM – samurai ROOM – NIGHT
The girls grab weapons. Discuss plan to save T.
54. INT. SANITARIUM – treatment ROOM – NIGHT
Tyler has some hysteria being strapped down on the table about to be lobotomized. The twins explain more of their plan and why etc. Meanwhile Barb and Julie sneak up on them.
They rush in and its a fight to the death between the twins and Barb and Julie.
Everyone gets injured or maimed but Barb and Julie do kill the twins eventually. They release Taylor
Horror Sit’n: The twins explain why to T and what they plan to do to him. Then a rescue fight to the death occurs.
Surprise: T hearing the reason for all this.
Fear: hearing what they plant o do to him.
Apprehension: for B and J as they sneak up and get ready to charge.
Panic: B and J rush the room – the twins panic and a fight for the death occurs.
Horror: as all are injured or killed.
INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – Morning
all 3 escape to the front door to wait for the caretaker.
He finally arrives and unlocks the door. He laughs as he thought they would woo out earlier but sees the state of them and gets concerned. He rushes inside.
EXT. SANITARIUM – Morning
Now outside the sanitarium, the 3 search for their phones in the bucket. They are amazed to be out. Taylor calls 911.
While waiting for 911 to answer, the caretaker sneaks up behind the 3 with a sword. They are busy looking for phones so don’t notice or hear him.
The caretaker swings, a big smile on his face.
CUT TO BLACK and music.
Horror Sit’n: The caretaker appears with sword and swings.
Apprehension: as he sneaks up and no one sees him.
Fear: Will they are get killed????
-
Barbara Fix Scary As Hell SCENE
I learned to add the layers and depth to scary scenes.
INT. SEYMOUR SANITARIUM – MEDICAL WARD – EVENING
Merrick and Sandy are now entwined on one of the cots, necking. Both are naked.
TERRY: Isn’t this sexy, baby. Doing this in the face of possible danger?
MERRICK: Shh.
He makes his way down her neck to her breasts, suckling and caressing. She MOANS.
TERRY:You’re the best, baby.
Continuing, he moves himself between her thighs. She MOANS louder. She obviously likes his style and isn’t shy about letting him know it. Then suddenly no more.
Silence from Terry, and her hands fall away. Merrick looks up at Terry.
MERRICK: Hey, baby, am I doing something wrong?
No response. He starts to move up her body.
MERRICK (CONT’D): Baby?
Just then a CRASH OF THUNDER outside CASTS LIGHT into the dark room. Terry is staring straight up at the ceiling, her eyes wide open and mouth gaping.
An ARROW sticks straight up out of one of her eyes. A TRICKLE OF BLOOD filters down the arrow and along her face. Merrick is frozen in horror.
Suddenly he snaps to and jumps off the bed as far away as he can and looks quickly around. No one. Frantically, he looks under the bed. Nothing.
POV from underneath one of the beds opposite Merrick.
WE SEE Merrick, from his knees down, grab his jockeys and struggle to put them on. He’s shaking so it’s difficult.
MERRICK: Fuck. Fuck.
He grabs his pants and shirt and spins to bolt out of the room. In an instant, a RAZOR KNIFE whips and severs his Achilles tendon. Merrick SCREAMS in pain and drops to the floor. He’s writhing in pain. He looks in the direction of the pain. His leg above his heel has been sliced wide open and bleeding profusely. Merrick hears a noise; it’s a FIGURE IN BLACK slithering out from underneath the bed.
MERRICK (CONT’D):Oh shit!
He struggles to get to his feet. But the injured leg won’t hold and he stumbles, so he uses the row of beds to propel himself toward the exit.
He looks over his shoulder just as the masked killer smashes him in the throat, knocking him down. He drags his body upright and starts to hobble away. The figure follows at a slow methodical pace.
Time is being taken to enjoy Merrick’s struggles and terror. Merrick can’t scream. His Adam’s apple has been caved in.
MERRICK: (barely audible) No, no, please don’t kill me.
Suddenly the figure disappears. Merrick calms a bit and struggles to stand up.
INT. SANITARIUM – CORRIDOR – LATER
Merrick is now hobbling down a hallway using the wall for support. He’s about 10 feet from the doorway to the medical ward. A TRAIL OF BLOOD follows him. He turns and looks back, but the FIGURE IN BLACK is gone. Merrick sucks in a breath.
MERRICK: (whispering): Yes, fuck you, asshole
He keeps moving along, his breathing labored. As he nears a door, he slips in his own blood falling to the floor. Merrick moans in pain and struggles to get back up. He starts to break down emotionally.
SLOW MOTION:
The FIGURE IN BLACK turns the corner towards Merrick who staggers to his feet, fighting through the pain. Merrick is almost hysterical with fear.
RAMP BACK TO NORMAL SPEED:
MERRICK: (barely audible) Help!! Anybody, help…!
The FIGURE IN BLACK is now upon him and swings a HEAVY HAMMER viciously. Merrick goes down hard.
INT. SEYMOUR SANITARIUM – INDUSTRIAL DRYER – LATER
Merrick comes to. He’s in a small dark place. He MOANS and rubs his head. A little BIT OF LIGHT shines through a circular window. He sees that the walls are curved and potted with holes every inch or so. He feels the surface.
MERRICK: (sotto) A dryer?
He’s in an uncomfortable position and puts a hand down to adjust his body. Suddenly he YELPS and pulls his hand back.
His hand is cut. The bottom of the dryer is covered with SHARDS OF GLASS.
MERRICK (CONT’D):(sotto) What the hell?
He SEES movement through the window and looks. His mouth gapes.
MERRICK (CONT’D): You! That’s impossible, it can’t be.
OUTSIDE OF THE DRYER
WE SEE a gloved hand HIT a button. At first nothing happens.
Then the dryer SLOWLY CREAKS AND BEGINS TO SPIN. Inside, Merrick is panicking as his body is now turned a partial rotation sideways. He BANGS on the door.
MERRICK (CONT’D): Stop!! Let me outta here!!
THE DRYER PICKS UP SPEED AND NOW MOVES FASTER.
A STREAK OF BLOOD hits the wall. Then another and another. We can hear Merrick’s SCREAMS as the glass shards rip him to pieces. Soon the window is all red.
-
Barbara Fix’s Scares. Releases and Creepy Moment
I learned to create a rollercoaster ride.
INT. SEYMOUR SANITARIUM – CORRIDOR – EVENING
Taylor HEARS Charlie’s YELLING and SCREAMING getting louder. He’s startled at first, then:
TAYLOR: Good thing you’re a producer, not an actor. You’re delivery sucks.
Taylor arrives at the stairwell; Charlie is still SCREAMING. Taylor notices BLOOD ON THE FLOOR MAT. He looks up just as Charlie’s body comes crashing down. He jumps out of the way as Charlie’s body slams onto the floor at his feet, THWACK!
A beat.
TEN BLOODY FINGERS shower down on top of Charlie’s limp body.
TAYLOR: Holy shit!!!
Taylor is stunned — he GASPS in surprise — then runs.
INT. SEYMOUR SANITARIUM – LARGE WARD – EVENING
Sam is still loving having an audience for once.
SAM: I mean, its not such a bad thing to eat someone given the right circumstances, especially…
CARSON: (to Sam) You need to get out more, bro. You’re one demented white boy.
Everyone laughs, including Sam. Taylor flies into the room, frantic and out of breath. He can barely get it out.
TAYLOR: Charlie’s…been killed!
TERRY: (still laughing) Was he scared to death?
TAYLOR: I heard screaming so I went to look. I see a pool of blood on the floor, next second Charlie’s body comes crashing down from above! And his fucking fingers were chopped off!
TERRY: So what are you guys pulling now?
TAYLOR: Pulling? Nothing. I’m serious!
SAM: Hey dude, we were discussing some super rad stuff when you interrupted. Cut the “cry wolf” act so we can get back to it.
Taylor can’t understand why no one is reacting. He looks at them like they’re all crazy.
TAYLOR: He’s dead! What’s wrong with you!?
CARSON: You heard the man, drop it. I want to hear what retarded thing he’s going to say next.
TAYLOR: This isn’t a joke like before. This is real.
CARSON Yeah, well, you’re gonna be real dead if you don’t shut the…
TAYLOR: (shouting) FUCK!!!! Listen to me!
He now has everyone’s undivided attention.
BARB: I think he means it.
SANDY:Actually, you do seem genuinely scared and…
TAYLOR: Fucking terrified is more like it.
SANDY
Okay, so since you aren’t in on it, then you should know that Charlie was just pulling something on you.
TAYLOR: Maybe so, but he’s dead now. I’ll show you.
INT. SEYMOUR SANITARIUM – BOTTOM OF STAIRWELL – EVENING
Taylor has lead the group to the exact spot he last saw Charlie. NOTHING is there. No Charlie, no blood, no fingers, no bloody floor mat. Taylor looks around confused.
TAYLOR: I swear. He was right here, blood was everywhere.
LORRAINE:Well this place has a pretty fantastic maid then.
-
Barbara Fix Level 3 Horror Emotion Scene
I learned that it is quite thrilling to write this kind of scene, which is exactly what I hood the audience feels.
INT. SEYMOUR SANITARIUM – KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS
Carson enters sniffing madly, big smile on his face.
CARSON: Hello. Whose cooking?
No answer. He looks around. He sees the oven and crosses over to it. He can tell by the GLOW illuminating from inside that the oven is on.
But what the hell is the sword doing propped in the door? He looks around cautiously. Nothing. He shrugs and pulls the sword out, laying it on the counter.
He opens the door.
CARSON: (sotto) Let’s see what we’ve got in here?
It’s a grisly sight. Sandy is very baked by now – all her hair is burnt off and her skin is blistered and bubbly, blood running in driblets. Carson SCREAMS and slams the door shut.
He dashes back through the kitchen toward the cafeteria.
CARSON: Julie!!
INT. SEYMOUR SANITARIUM – CAFETERIA – CONTINUOUS
Julie exits the bathroom surprised by Carson’s yell. Carson is jacked.
JULIE: What?
CARSON: That ain’t a honey-baked ham in there. We gotta go.
He grabs her arm and leads her quickly through the cafeteria. Julie is confused.
JULIE: What’s going on?
CARSON: That smell.
JULIE: Yeah?
CARSON: I think it was Sandy.
JULIE: Oh my god.
CARSON: Let’s get our asses outta this freak show.
INT. SEYMOUR SANITARIUM – CORRIDOR – CONTINUOUS
They fly into the hallway, Carson in front.
JULIE: I can’t go as fast, Carson. My knee, remember.
Carson looks over his shoulder.
CARSON: Fuck your knee. go!
Carson is not waiting; he’s scared shitless. He pulls away from the struggling Julie who falls behind. Julie sees Carson disappear around a corner. She picks up the pace and that’s when she hears the TORTURED SCREAMS from Carson. She skids to a stop before the corner, her eyes terrified.
JULIE: Carson?
She hears Carson’s pained response.
CARSON (O.C.): Baby, help me!
Julie eases herself around the corner and we see a ghastly sight. Carson has run into a booby trap. Suspended from the ceiling are NUMEROUS FISH HOOKS SET AT ALL LEVELS and Carson is entangled unable to move. Fish hooks are imbedded in his arms, legs, chest, forehead and shoulders. His arms are outstretched. Plain and simple, he’s fucked, and in a whole lot of pain.
Any movement causes the hooks to dig deeper. He YOWLS in pain. He sways a few times spins towards Julie, struggling to keep his balance. The look on Julies face says it all, its too much for her, she faints and falls to the floor.
CARSON (CONT’D): Julie?? Julie!! Ah shit.
INT. SEYMOUR SANITARIUM – HALLWAY – EVENING
Julie opens her eyes. Her vision is fuzzy at first, she can just make out Carson’s shoes, right beside her. Her eyes clear and she SEES the BLOOD FORMING ON HIS SHOES AND FLOOR and HEARS him cursing with pain.
JULIE: Carson.
CARSON: Julie. Come on baby, I need you bad.
She gets up groggy, rubbing her knee. When she sees the hooks sticking out of Carson’s chest again, she is instantly alert.
CARSON (CONT’D): You’re going to have to pull these out for me.
JULIE:Oh no Carson. I can’t.
CARSON:Yes you can. You have too. I can’t; it’s gotta be you. Okay?
She nods. Then tentatively grabs at the first hook. She tugs. Carson YOWLS.
CARSON: Pull harder! It’s gonna hurt no matter what, so do it right.
She grips the same hook and pulls hard. It comes out. Carson GRIMACES and MOANS in pain, then tries to make light of it.
CARSON (CONT’D): See, wasn’t so bad. Go for number two, Julie.
She grips another hook and pulls hard. It rips out, BLOOD SPRAYING ONTO HER FACE. Carson GRIMACES.
CARSON (CONT’D): Good girl. Another one.
She grips the third hook and pulls. Carson SCREAMS. So does Julie. Part of the hook has embedded itself into her hand, pretty deep.
But Julie realizes that Carson hasn’t stopped screaming, and he’s thrashing around and trying to claw behind him. Then she SEES it.
A KNIFE, the point projecting just an inch out of his stomach is working it’s way down, gutting him. BLOOD flows freely. She SCREAMS and back away. At the same time she sees A FIGURE DRESSED IN BLACK behind Carson’s frame.
CARSON: Run!!!!
Julie turns and is gone as fast as her knee will take her.
-
Barbara Fix’s Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene
I learned to play with fear, suspense and dread and try to evoke a response from reader/audience.
INT. SEYMOUR SANITARIUM – ELEVATOR – DAY
Sandy PUSHES THE BUTTON. It starts up going at least a floor.
Then it LURCHES to a stop. Then starts, then stops again. Five seconds pass…nothing. Sandy HITS the button. Nothing. Sandy is concerned.
SANDY: Oh no, oh no! Damn, not this.
She claws at the door. To her surprise, it actually opens a crack. Encouraged she pries at it more. It keeps opening until its wide enough for her to squeeze through.
They are halfway between floors. She jumps up and throws the upper half of her body onto the floor, then tries to wiggle the rest of her body through by pulling herself along the floor with her arms. Its a tight squeeze and she doesn’t get far when suddenly the elevator starts up again.
Sandy panics and tries to wiggle through as fast as possible. But it isn’t easy. Its getting close to looking like she is going to get squashed into the frame of the elevator. Sandy looks petrified
SANDY (CONT’D)
Oh my god, please, please stop!
Suddenly it stops again…with inches to spare. She can’t believe it and quickly takes advantage of the moment and pushes herself the rest of the way, tumbling several feet down out onto the floor.
-
Barbara Fixx’s Level 1 Horror Emotion Scene
I learned its quite fun and intricate to create a scene with all the elements necessary to create the vibe of apprehension etc.
Now we notice the quiet. Ellen looks around perplexed.
INT. SANITARIUM – DAY
ELLEN: Where is everyone? Its so quiet.
Travers points down the corridor.
TRAVERS: That’s odd. The door to the utility room is open.
The three exchange glances; something is not right here. They head to the utility room. When they reach it Hicks calls out.
HICKS: Dr. Harris? Nurse Klein? Dr. Chambers? (no response; to Ellen) Stand behind us.
She moves in behind them as they crowd the doorway to the utility room.
Hicks and Travers enter the room. Almost immediately, Hicks turns out, retching into the corridor. Travers stares, transfixed, crossing himself. Ellen pushes into the doorway and SCREAMS as she’s never screamed before; she’s unhinged.
INT. SEYMOUR SANITARIUM – UTILITY ROOM – DAY
In SHADOWS. It’s a ghastly vision.
The entire STAFF of the restricted wing — three DOCTORS, four ORDERLIES and four NURSES — are hanging from nooses from the ceiling. All have had their throats slit and their eyes gouged out. Some eyes are completely gone — others are suspended by their optic nerves, dangling in front of blood-streaked faces. PUDDLES OF BLOOD coagulate under each victim.
Seated calmly on a chair is NICK COSOMO, 40’s, an infamous serial killer. His white robe is streaked with blood. He pops an eyeball into his mouth and starts to chew.
TRAVERS: You sick fuck.
Travers rushes in, Tazer drawn, but Cosomo is up out of the chair and grabs his arm. They struggle surrealistically through the darkened room, bashing into the hanging bodies that sway and spin madly. Cosomo looks demented and elated; he’s enjoying this. Hicks recovers enough to use his WALKIE.
-
Barb Fix’s Readable Outline:
INT. SANITARIUM – UTE ROOM -DAY
A nurse begins her shift to check on patients in a run-down creepy sanitarium. There’s chaos afoot and high-level security as this is for the criminally insane. Its a tense place and job. Within minutes she notices a deathly quiet and she and 2 orderlies discover something that makes them scream and throw up, cross themselves.
INT. SANITARIUM – UTE ROOM – DAY
Inside a room are 11 brutally murdered co-workers – throats slit, eyes gouges out and hung nup. And an inmate Nick Cosomo is sitting there eating an eye-ball. The 2 orderlies try to tazer him and a struggle ensues bumping bodies about – super macabre, tense and terrible. Other doctors etc arrive and all are shocked at what they see. One doctor, Dr Chambers, sees his wife is one of the victims. He orders 2 orderlies to catch Cosomo and follow him. They do and drag Cosomo along, who acts like this is fun and games and he’s the star of the show.
INT. SANITARIUM – TREATMENT ROOM – DAY
The orderlies strap Cosomo into a chair. Dr CHambers orders them to leave and locks the door. He pulls out a scapula and starts to shave Cosomo’s temples. Cosomo plays within until he realizes the Dr is serious and is going to fry his brain, his oath meaning nothing. Cosomo freaks out and tries to get free. The police arrive and try to break down the door but Dr. Chambers ignores them and also ignores Cosomo when he suddenly says he DID NOT kill them, someone else did, but he wanted the credit. Dr Chambers is gone – he fries Cosomo, turning him into a vegetable before the police kick the door down.
25 YEARS LATER
EXT. ROAD – DAY
People are on the GOING TO HELL TOUR to visit murder sites. Their last stop is the sanitarium, now in disrepair but inside is a serial killer museum that has never opened as people protested and courts shut it down. We meet all the character – Charlie, Sandy, Barb, Taylor, Carson, Julie, Merrick, Sam, Terry, Yuko, Toshi, Lily, Lorraine and the Aussi. They stop and get out so bus driver/tour guide will tell them more.
EXT. SANITARIUM – CONT
They meet the creepy caretaker.
So far the tour has been lame so Charlie offers to pay the caretaker to let them see it. They are warned off <font face=”inherit”>by both bus driver and the caretaker, but decided to take it even further than an hour and stay OVERNIGHT as no one gets to see this museum. </font>Charlie<font face=”inherit”> offer $1000 and $500 to tour guide </font>to<font face=”inherit”> come back in morning. He thinks its a great spot to shoot his next movie and that it will inspire him. Some agree to stay, each with a good reason to see the serial killer museum.</font>
Their safety is taken away by caretaker, who takes their cell phones so no calls can be made.
INT. SANITARIUM – DAY
Within seconds of entering Bloodied bodies fall after they trip a wire. Its a set-up prank before the serial killer displays.<font face=”inherit”> They are terrified and scatter, falling all over the place. </font>They gather themselves, chuckle and look for room to gather and dump their stuff as caretaker mentioned before they start exploring. Everyone was rattled, but ok now.
Lily and Aussie set off alone as not into groups, while the others make plan to regroup in abhor as Lorraine says she is scared and wants out. Charlie mad b/c he paid $1000 and has the walkie so not agreeing until an hour has passed as maybe an hour is enough item anyway and they can all leave together. So its agreed to meet back in an hour.
<b class=””>INT. SANITARIUM – VARIOUS ROOM – DAY
People start exploring in various groups.
INT. SANITARIUM – Cannibal ROOM – DAY
Several are here when a man in Mexican mask enters with torquing drill. He is tackled and its revealed to be Charlie messing around. People are mad at him. He and Sandy leave.
INT. SANITARIUM – Samurai ROOM – DAY
Barb and Taylor talk with Japanese couple about serial killers in USA.
INT. SANITARIUM -Medical WARD – DAY
Sandy and Charlie are making out and someone with a bloody hand is watching them. Suddenly they hear a scream. They luckily leave the room alive and go to see what the scream is.
Its another prank. AND its been an hour so they need to take the vote.
INT. SANITARIUM – Ward – NIGHT
They go back to the entrance ward but not everyone showed up. Its dark outside now. Lorraine wants to go. Charlie and Taylor set out to find the others after Charlie pleads to stay longer. He tosses walkie to Lorainne to appease her.
INT. SANITARIUM – Various ROOM and halls – NIGHT
Charlie and Taylor look for the others. They notice a sword is missing. Decided to split up to cover ground faster. Charlie goes up and is cornered by a figure in black with the sword. He is killed as his body falls 3 flights. His fingers are chopped off and fall around him.
Everyone hears his scream.
Taylor finds his body and runs for the ward where everyone else is.
INT. SANITARIUM – Ward – DAY
Carson and Julie have returned just before Taylor runs in saying Charlie is dead. They all laugh at him and say he’s been fooled by another Charlie prank. They all heard the screams and feel Charlie is just getting them back, but its bullshit. Taylor insists they follow him to Charlie’s body.
INT. SANITARIUM – SPOT OF Charlie’s death -NIGHT
NO BODY NO BLOOD. Taylor insists but no one believes him. As they leave we see a bloody finger hidden.
INT. SANITARIUM -Ward – NIGHT
The group discuss they need to find the missing 2 people and that Charlie is likely playing games and trying to mess around still… probably hired the caretaker etc etc. Anyway, they split up to cover ground faster and find themishing 2 and get out of there.
INT. SANITARIUM – Elevator – NIGHT
Sandy has a near miss in elevator stop and start, almost getting killed, but sigh of relief. But she gets out and sees figure in black. Assumes its Charlie and yells at him, but realizes its not and runs into …
INT. SANITARIUM – KITCHEN – Night
Looking for a hiding spot. Gets in the oven as huge and unlikely. But killer figures it out and locks the door with the sword na turns on high, roasting Sandy.
INT. SANITARIUM – Fisherman ROOM – NIGHT
Barb and Taylor discuss why each is there and wanted to stay. Barb reporter doing story.
INT. SANITARIUM – Knitting Needle ROOM – NIGHT
Toshi and Yuko have fun here…. Martha Stewart and Snoop convo.
INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Lorraine finds out info on Sam. Terry and Merrick lag behind. Find info room.
INT. SANITARIUM – INFO ROOM – NIGHT
In this room they see caretaker in photo!!!
INT. SANITARIUM – SLICER ROOM – NIGHT
Toshi and Yuko find dead Lily. SUicide or murder? Yuko screams. Some come running.
INT. SANITARIUM – BUTCHER ROOM – NIGHT
Carson and Julie talk. They smell something and follow nose. Julie goes to bathroom while Carson heads in to kitchen. THEY DID NOT HEAR the scream.
INT. SANITARIUM – SLICER ROOM – NIGHT
Everyone gather who heard and want to get out of there. Where’s the walkie? In ward. They head there.
INT. SANITARIUM – KITCHEN – NIGHT
Carson sees Sandy dead and baked. He runs. Finds Julie, tell her and they run.
INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Carson runs into a terrible trap that injures him and holds him trapped.Julie faints from all the blood.
INT. SANITARIUM – WARD – NIGHT
Walkie is gone. People are freaking. Merrick freaking about who is killer….makes list. Taylor admits he is grandson of Dr CHambers. Merrick goes after him. Barb stops it. CHILL! Yuko and Tishri think one of them is the killer so sneak away. The others see and try to stop them, but they run. They decide to go out in groups and find the ones missing and get out of there.
INT. SANITARIUM – SLICER ROOM – NIGHT
Julie wakes and tries to get Carson out of trap of hooks BUT then a long knife is stuck in his belly and worked down. Kills him. Julie runs.
INT. SANITARIUM – Military ROOM – NIGHT
Yuko and Tosi killer one after another, swiftly.
INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Sam and Lorraine chatting. She forgot cigarettes so puts Sam in a cell to keep him safe and dashes off.
INT. SANITARIUM – bathROOM – NIGHT
Julie hide in stall.
INT. SANITARIUM – cell – NIGHT
Sam is trapped in a jail cell, sprays with lighter fluid and set afire. Lorraine returns and finds him dead – she is devastated.
INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Terry and Merrick argue about kills stuff.
INT. SANITARIUM – kill ROOM – NIGHT
Horror Situation: Barb and Taylor find the room were the murders took place 25 years earlier
INT. SANITARIUM – Medical ROOM – NIGHT
Terry decides to pull him into medical ward where Charlie and Sandy were and seduce him. Terry is killed. Marrick injured and gets chased.
INT. SANITARIUM – bathROOM – NIGHT
Julie still hiding.
INT. SANITARIUM – kill ROOM – NIGHT
Merrick being pursued and terrorized. Injured with hammer and knocked out.
INT. SANITARIUM – ROOM – NIGHT
Taylor and Barb find bloody footprints of rats and follow them until they find the brutally murdered Ozzy. Rate are eating him.
INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Lorraine scared
INT. SANITARIUM – bathROOM – NIGHT
<font face=”inherit”>Julie hears someone come in to pee…its the killer</font> but she is not found.
INT. SANITARIUM – ROOM – NIGHT
<font face=”inherit”>Barb and Taylor </font>realize<font face=”inherit”> there IS A KILLER for sure </font>and not someone messing around; they need to escape.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>INT. SANITARIUM – Dryer – NIGHT
<font face=”inherit”>Merrick awakes he finds himself in a dryer with broken glass. Its turned on and he is ripped to shreds.</font>
INT. SANITARIUM – hallways – NIGHT
Lorraine is moving along. She pulls out a building schematic. Why does she have that!?
Julie is moving along elsewhere looking for exit.
Barb and Taylor also and ….
INT. SANITARIUM – office ROOM – NIGHT
Taylor and Barb discover a room that gives them information on the facility and almost figure out who the killers are talking back and forth about what they recall about the girl, when the twins suddenly appear and confirm it. The twins want to revel in their plan and show off, telling them all.
Barb tells them they are insane and Lorraine shoots her, she falls over railing 2 stories down and seems dead. Then she knocks out Taylor. The 2 talk about their successful night and Lily says she saved one {Julie] for Lorraine since she got everyone else. They drag Taylor off toward treatment room.
INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Julie rushes to Barb and shakes her awake. She tells her she heard everything and helps wrap Barb’s wound.
INT. SANITARIUM – samurai ROOM – NIGHT
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>INT. SANITARIUM – treatment ROOM – NIGHT
Tyler has some hysteria being strapped down on the table about to be lobotomized. The twins explain more of their plan and why etc. Meanwhile Barb and Julie sneak up on them.
They rush in and its a fight to the death between the twins and Barb and Julie.
Everyone gets injured or maimed but Barb and Julie do kill the twins eventually. They release Taylor and all 3 escape to the front door to wait for the caretaker.
He finally arrives and unlocks the door. He laughs as he thought they would woo out earlier but sees the state of them and gets concerned. He rushes inside.
EXT. SANITARIUM – Morning
Now outside the sanitarium, the 3 search for their phones in the bucket. They are amazed to be out. Taylor calls 911.
While waiting for 911 to answer, the caretaker sneaks up behind the 3 with a sword. They are busy looking for phones so don’t notice or hear him.
The caretaker swings, a big smile on his face.
CUT TO BLACK and music.
-
Barb’s Monster Tracking
Monster and Terror: The monster is a pair of tormented twins who seek revenge for their torment to their family.
Powers: Knowledge of the insane asylum giving the one who kills access to hiding spots and ability to strike when she can without detection.
Limitations: the killer twin has to wait until someone is alone or only 2 and far away from the others so she can kill without anyone knowing.
Weaknesses: They are crazy and unable to reason.
Plan/Purpose/etc: To seek revenge on the grandson of the man who ruined their family. THa means terrorizing him along the way by killing everyone inside the museum as he will know in the end its his fault.
ACT 1
Atmosphere of Evil – staff find the rest of their friends brutally murdered by an inmate.
Horror Situation: They fins suspect popping eyeball into his mouth.
CH Deaths: 12 doctors, nurses and interns.
Why: a psycho needs no reason.
How: Murdered, then hung up and eyeballs removed
Reaction: Guard attacks him and they fight through the blooded hanging bodies.
Horror Situation: Doctor straps suspect into chair and starts to shave him to fry his brain.
Reaction: Suspect denies he did killing just wanted the credit. Police try to break in but doctor acts fast and fries the suspect’s brain.
Connect: All characters introduced on the bus tour 25 YEARS LATER.
Warned: by both bus driver and by the caretaker
Denial: the museum is closed so no one else there.
Safety taken away: caretaker took their cell phones so no calls can be made.
Horror Situation: Bloodied bodies fall after they trip a wire. Its a set-up prank before the serial killer displays.
Reaction: They are terrified and scatter, falling all over the place.
Character Death: The Ozzy
Why: Because he left with Goth girl to explore ahead of the others. The killer needed to start.
How: Butchered with knife in stomach area.
Horror Situation: Sandy and Charlie are making out and hear a scream. Someone is watching them…..A bloodied hand is seen meaning someone has been killed.
DEmand: People about to have sex….
Response: They WERE going to be killed but a scream from elsewhere getting them to move saved them. The bloody hand tells us someone is sneaky but deadly.
ACT 2
Isolated/trapped: they are locked in overnight until 7am with no cell phones but do have a walkie talkie, but Charlie hordes it since he paid for them to get in and then they split up in the vast building.
Horror Situation: A masked man with a drill comes at them.
Reaction: Merrick tackles him – its only Charlie pranking them. People are getting sick of the pranks.
One killed: Charlie is killed but no one believes it b/c his body is gone and murder site cleaned up. So they are sitting ducks not knowing.
Demand: Charlie goes exploring. HE sees figure in black. Wants to know what’s going on.
Response: Figure comes at him with sword and pushes him over railing.
Horror Situation: Taylor sees CHarlies body fall to the floor dead.
Reaction: He runs to find the others and tells them.
CH Death: Charlie
Why: He wandered off all alone and easy pickings.
How: Pushed over stairway edge, but grabs onto railing. A Sword then slices thru his fingers causing him to fall 3 flights to his death.
Horror Situation: By the time they follow Taylor back, Charlie’s body is gone and they thinks it yet another prank.
Horror Situation: As they walk away, a bloodied finger is hidden, so yes, another murder.
Demand: CH want to know if true about Charlie’s death or a prank.
Response: The finger hidden under the radiator shows the monster is hiding killings from them to create confusion and leave them sitting ducks with no defenses as unaware.
Horror Situation: Sandy goes looking for Charlie. Stuck in elevator. Tries to crawl out, then elevator moves and looks like Sandy will be crushed.
Reaction: She struggles and luckily it stops. She’s safe and continues her search.
Horror Situation: Sandy chased by person in black and with sword, and hides in a stove b/c she’s scared and it seems good. But the sword is placed in door handle blocking her escape and turned on. SHe’s roasted alive!
CH Death: Sandy
Why: She wandered off alone as well looking to find Charlie, her BF. She’s mad at him and wants to find him to get out of there
How: She hides in an oven b/c its big. Killer blocks oven door with sword and turns it on high.
Demand: what is this killer capable of?
Response: The killer is brutal and ruthless.
MIDPOINT – the killer is stealthy and fast and has the upper hand using weapons in the museum. The guests have no defense and are not all even believing there is a killer out there. They are sitting ducks with no real knowledge they need to go on the defense and try to get out of the building or band together. They keep wandering off looking for others and get themselves killed.
Horror Situation: They find the body of the missing girl, dead. Suicide or murder?
Reaction: They argue whether suicide or murder? Realize they should find everyone else and get out the there, so its sends everyone out to find the other missing people.
CH Death or?: Goth girl
Why: Looks like she committed suicide
How: slit wrists and neck.
Full pursuit: the killer starts to murder people in two’s now and comes at them fast and relentlessly.
Horror Situation: Carson finds Sandy baked in the oven.
Reaction: Carson and Julie terrified run looking for a way out.
Horror Situation: Carson runs into a terrible trap that injures him and holds him trapped.
Reaction: Julie faints from all the blood.
CH Death: Carson
Why: He ran away and got himself stuck in a terrible trap so easy pickings
How: stuck in trap of hooks and then a long knife is stuck in his belly and worked down.
Demand: how far is monster willing to go?
Response: the monster does not just pursuer but also sets brutal traps.
Terrorized: some finally fully understand that there is a killer. Most thought people were exploring and the girl who committed suicide did just commit suicide.
Horror Situation: The Japanese couple are killed within seconds of each other while trying to escape from everyone else as they think someone in the group is the murderer.
CH Deaths: Japanese couple
Why: The are trying to escape and are alone. Toshi stuck his head in a guillotine; who could resist that? Then Yuko was there. so next.
How: guillotine and knife at end of gun through head
Demand: will anyone get away from the sanitarium?
Response: the killer is tracking everyone somehow. The killer has the advantage.
Horror Situation: Sam is trapped in a jail cell, sprays with lighter fluid and set afire.
CH Death: Sam
Why: He is alone and trapped in a cell in a wheelchair; easy pickings
How: He is sprayed with lighter fluid then set on fire. Not a chance for him.
Demand: will the killer target innocent people?
Response: yes!
Horror Situation: Barb and Taylor find the room were the murders took place 25 years earlier
Reaction: They are stunned and need to exit and recover.
CH Death: Terry
Why: She insists on having sex with Merrick.
How: Arrow jammed thru her eye and head.
Demand: doesn’t every killer kill the person trying to have sex?
Response: yes!
CH Death: Merrick after a chase.
Why: He’s alone now and easy pickings. Injured with hammer. When awakes he finds himself in a dryer with broken glass. Its turned on and he is ripped to shreds.
Demand: does the killer chase down the prey?
Response: with relish.
ACT 3
Horror Situation: Taylor and Barb find the brutally murdered Ozzy.
CH Death: They find the Ozzy and see rats have gotten to his body digging into his stomach cavity and tracking bloody prints all over.
Reaction: They realize that there really is a killer and need to escape. Taylor and Barb discover a room that gives them information on the facility and almost figure out who the killers are, when the twins appears and confirm it
Demand: is the mystery finally answered by Barb and Taylor’s find of the newspaper article?
Response: Partly, now the twined want to revel in their taste plan and show off to them, telling them all.
Horror Situation: One of the killers shoots Barb, who falls and seems dead. Then knocks out Taylor and they drag him off.
Hysteria: Moments of it since act 2, but here Barb is determined to save Tyler. He has some hysteria being strapped down on the table about to be lobotomized.
Horror: The twins are about to lobotomize Taylor.
Reaction: Barb and Julie attack.
Horror: fight to the death between the twins and Barb and Julie.
Escape of death: Barb, Taylor and friend do kill the twins and escape outside.
CH Death: Lorraine
Why: SHe’s dangerous and one of the killers.
How: a big hook in her head.
CH Death: Goth girl/Lily
Why: SHe’s dangerous and one of the killers.
How: Shot 3 times.
Death returns: while calling the police the caretaker sneaks up behind with a sword.
Horror Situation: The caretaker swings a big smile on his face.
Resolution: left open…. but it looks like at least one of them is dead.
CH Death: ????
-
Barbara Fixx
I agree to the terms of this release form.
-
1. Barbara Fixx
2. 15 written and produced scripts, mostly thrillers.
3. I am always up for learning how to be a better story teller. And love learning about writing and the creativity behind it.
4. I grew up in Canada and an identical twin.
-
Barb’s Character Death Tracking
ACT 1
Atmosphere of Evil – staff find the rest of their friends brutally murdered by an inmate.
Horror Situation: They fins suspect popping eyeball into his mouth.
CH Deaths: 12 doctors, nurses and interns.
Why: a psycho needs no reason.
How: Murdered, then hung up and eyeballs removed
Reaction: Guard attacks him and they fight through the blooded hanging bodies.
Horror Situation: Doctor straps suspect into chair and starts to shave him to fry his brain.
Reaction: Suspect denies he did killing just wanted the credit. Police try to break in but doctor acts fast and fries the suspect’s brain.
Connect: All characters introduced on the bus tour 25 YEARS LATER.
Warned: by both bus driver and by the caretaker
Denial: the museum is closed so no one else there.
Safety taken away: caretaker took their cell phones so no calls can be made.
Horror Situation: Bloodied bodies fall after they trip a wire. Its a set-up prank before the serial killer displays.
Reaction: They are terrified and scatter, falling all over the place.
Character Death: The Ozzy
Why: Because he left with Goth girl to explore ahead of the others. The killer needed to start.
How: Butchered with knife in stomach area.
Horror Situation: Sandy and Charlie are making out and hear a scream. Someone is watching them…..A bloodied hand is seen meaning someone has been killed.
ACT 2
Isolated/trapped: they are locked in overnight until 7am with no cell phones but do have a walkie talkie, but Charlie hordes it since he paid for them to get in and then they split up in the vast building.
Horror Situation: A masked man with a drill comes at them.
Reaction: Merrick tackles him – its only Charlie pranking them. People are getting sick of the pranks.
One killed: Charlie is killed but no one believes it b/c his body is gone and murder site cleaned up. So they are sitting ducks not knowing.
Horror Situation: Taylor sees CHarlies body fall to the floor dead.
Reaction: He runs to find the others and tells them.
CH Death: Charlie
Why: He wandered off all alone and easy pickings.
How: Pushed over stairway edge, but grabs onto railing. A Sword then slices thru his fingers causing him to fall 3 flights to his death.
Horror Situation: By the time they follow Taylor back, Charlie’s body is gone and they thinks it yet another prank.
Horror Situation: As they walk away, a bloodied finger is hidden, so yes, another murder.
Horror Situation: Sandy goes looking for Charlie. Stuck in elevator. Tries to crawl out, then elevator moves and looks like Sandy will be crushed.
Reaction: She struggles and luckily it stops. She’s safe and continues her search.
Horror Situation: Sandy chased by person in black and with sword, and hides in a stove b/c she’s scared and it seems good. But the sword is placed in door handle blocking her escape and turned on. SHe’s roasted alive!
CH Death: Sandy
Why: She wandered off alone as well looking to find Charlie, her BF. She’s mad at him and wants to find him to get out of there
How: She hides in an oven b/c its big. Killer blocks oven door with sword and turns it on high.
MIDPOINT – the killer is stealthy and fast and has the upper hand using weapons in the museum. The guests have no defense and are not all even believing there is a killer out there. They are sitting ducks with no real knowledge they need to go on the defense and try to get out of the building or band together. They keep wandering off looking for others and get themselves killed.
Horror Situation: They find the body of the missing girl, dead. Suicide or murder?
Reaction: They argue whether suicide or murder? Realize they should find everyone else and get out the there, so its sends everyone out to find the other missing people.
CH Death or?: Goth girl
Why: Looks like she committed suicide
How: slit wrists and neck.
Full pursuit: the killer starts to murder people in two’s now and comes at them fast and relentlessly.
Horror Situation: Carson finds Sandy baked in the oven.
Reaction: Carson and Julie terrified run looking for a way out.
Horror Situation: Carson runs into a terrible trap that injures him and holds him trapped.
Reaction: Julie faints from all the blood.
CH Death: Carson
Why: He ran away and got himself stuck in a terrible trap so easy pickings
How: stuck in trap of hooks and then a long knife is stuck in his belly and worked down.
Terrorized: some finally fully understand that there is a killer. Most thought people were exploring and the girl who committed suicide did just commit suicide.
Horror Situation: The Japanese couple are killed within seconds of each other while trying to escape from everyone else as they think someone in the group is the murderer.
CH Deaths: Japanese couple
Why: The are trying to escape and are alone. Toshi stuck his head in a guillotine; who could resist that? Then Yuko was there. so next.
How: guillotine and knife at end of gun through head
Horror Situation: Sam is trapped in a jail cell, sprays with lighter fluid and set afire.
CH Death: Sam
Why: He is alone and trapped in a cell in a wheelchair; easy pickings
How: He is sprayed with lighter fluid then set on fire. Not a chance for him.
Horror Situation: Barb and Taylor find the room were the murders took place 25 years earlier
Reaction: They are stunned and need to exit and recover.
CH Death: Terry
Why: She insists on having sex with Merrick.
How: Arrow jammed thru her eye and head.
CH Death: Merrick after a chase.
Why: He’s alone now and easy pickings. Injured with hammer. When awakes he finds himself in a dryer with broken glass. Its turned on and he is ripped to shreds.
ACT 3
Horror Situation: Taylor and Barb find the brutally murdered Ozzy.
CH Death: They find the Ozzy and see rats have gotten to his body digging into his stomach cavity and tracking bloody prints all over.
Reaction: They realize that there really is a killer and need to escape. Taylor and Barb discover a room that gives them information on the facility and almost figure out who the killers are, when the twins appears and confirm it
Horror Situation: One of the killers shoots Barb, who falls and seems dead. Then knocks out Taylor and they drag him off.
Hysteria: Moments of it since act 2, but here Barb is determined to save Tyler. He has some hysteria being strapped down on the table about to be lobotomized.
Horror: The twins are about to lobotomize Taylor.
Reaction: Barb and Julie attack.
Horror: fight to the death between the twins and Barb and Julie.
Escape of death: Barb, Taylor and friend do kill the twins and escape outside.
CH Death: Lorraine
Why: SHe’s dangerous and one of the killers.
How: a big hook in her head.
CH Death: Goth girl/Lily
Why: SHe’s dangerous and one of the killers.
How: Shot 3 times.
Death returns: while calling the police the caretaker sneaks up behind with a sword.
Horror Situation: The caretaker swings a big smile on his face.
Resolution: left open…. but it looks like at least one of them is dead.
CH Death: ????
-
Barb’s Horror Situation Tracking
ACT 1
Atmosphere of Evil – staff find the rest of their friends brutally murdered by an inmate.
Horror Situation: They fins suspect popping eyeball into his mouth.
Reaction: Guard attacks him and they fight through the blooded hanging bodies.
Horror Situation: Doctor straps suspect into chair and starts to shave him to fry his brain.
Reaction: Suspect denies he did killing just wanted the credit. Police try to break in but doctor acts fast and fries the suspect’s brain.
Connect: All characters introduced on the bus tour 25 YEARS LATER.
Warned: by both bus driver and by the caretaker
Denial: the museum is closed so no one else there.
Safety taken away: caretaker took their cell phones so no calls can be made.
Horror Situation: Bloodied bodies fall after they trip a wire. Its a set-up prank before the serial killer displays.
Reaction: They are terrified and scatter, falling all over the place.
Horror Situation: Sandy and Charlie are making out and hear a scream. Someone is watching them…..A bloodied hand is seen meaning someone has been killed.
ACT 2
Isolated/trapped: they are locked in overnight until 7am with no cell phones but do have a walkie talkie, but Charlie hordes it since he paid for them to get in and then they split up in the vast building.
Horror Situation: A masked man with a drill comes at them.
Reaction: Merrick tackles him – its only Charlie pranking them. People are getting sick of the pranks.
One killed: Charlie is killed but no one believes it b/c his body is gone and murder site cleaned up. So they are sitting ducks not knowing.
Horror Situation: Taylor sees CHarlies body fall to the floor dead.
Reaction: He runs to find the others and tells them.
Horror Situation: By the time they follow Taylor back, Charlie’s body is gone and they thinks it yet another prank.
Horror Situation: As they walk away, a bloodied finger is hidden, so yes, another murder.
Horror Situation: Sandy goes looking for Charlie. Stuck in elevator. Tries to crawl out, then elevator moves and looks like Sandy will be crushed.
Reaction: She struggles and luckily it stops. She’s safe and continues her search.
Horror Situation: Sandy chased by person in black and with sword, and hides in a stove b/c she’s scared and it seems good. But the sword is placed in door handle blocking her escape and turned on. SHe’s roasted alive!
MIDPOINT – the killer is stealthy and fast and has the upper hand using weapons in the museum. The guests have no defense and are not all even believing there is a killer out there. They are sitting ducks with no real knowledge they need to go on the defense and try to get out of the building or band together. They keep wandering off looking for others and get themselves killed.
Horror Situation: They find the body of the missing girl, dead. Suicide or murder?
Reaction: They argue whether suicide or murder? Realize they should find everyone else and get out the there, so its sends everyone out to find the other missing people.
Full pursuit: the killer starts to murder people in two’s now and comes at them fast and relentlessly.
Horror Situation: Carson finds Sandy baked in the oven.
Reaction: Carson and Julie terrified run looking for a way out.
Horror Situation: Carson runs into a terrible trap that injures him and holds him trapped.
Reaction: Julie faints from all the blood.
Terrorized: some finally fully understand that there is a killer. Most thought people were exploring and the girl who committed suicide did just commit suicide.
Horror Situation: The Japanese couple are killed within seconds of each other while trying to escape from everyone else as they think someone in the group is the murderer.
Horror Situation: Sam is trapped in a jail cell, sprays with lighter fluid and set afire.
Horror Situation: Barb and Taylor find the room were the murders took place 25 years earlier
Reaction: They are stunned and need to exit and recover.
ACT 3
Horror Situation: Taylor and Barb find the brutally murdered Ozzy.
Reaction: They realize that there really is a killer and need to escape. Taylor and Barb discover a room that gives them information on the facility and almost figure out who the killers are, when the twins appears and confirm it
Horror Situation: One of the killers shoots Barb, who falls and seems dead. Then knocks out Taylor and they drag him off.
Hysteria: Moments of it since act 2, but here Barb is determined to save Tyler. He has some hysteria being strapped down on the table about to be lobotomized.
Horror: The twins are about to lobotomize Taylor.
Reaction: Barb and Julie attack.
Horror: fight to the death between the twins and Barb and Julie.
Escape of death: Barb, Taylor and friend do kill the twins and escape outside.
Death returns: while calling the police the caretaker sneaks up behind with a sword.
Horror Situation: The caretaker swings a big smile on his face.
Resolution: left open…. but it looks like at least one of them is dead.
-
Barb’s Horror Plot
ACT 1
Atmosphere of Evil – staff find the rest of their friends brutally murdered by an inmate. Docot harms suspect.
Connect: All characters introduced on the bus tour.
Warned: by both bus driver and by the caretaker
Denial: the museum is closed so no one else there.
Safety taken away: caretaker took their cell phones so no calls can be made. They are scared by some prank set-ups.
ACT 2
Isolated/trapped: they are locked in overnight until7am with no cell phones but do have a walkie talkie, but Charlie hordes it since he paid for them to get in and then they split up in the vast building.
One killed: Charlie is killed but no one believes it b/c his body is gone and murder site cleaned up. So they are sitting ducks not knowing.
MIDPOINT – the killer is stealthy and fast and has the upper hand using weapons in the museum. The guests have no defense and are not all even believing there is a killer out there. They are sitting ducks with no real knowledge they need to go on the defense and try to get out of the building or band together. They keep wandering off looking for others and get themselves killed.
Full pursuit: the killer starts to murder people in two’s now and comes at them fast and relentlessly.
Terrorized: some finally fully understand that there is a killer. Most thought people were exploring and the girl who committed suicide did just commit suicide.
ACT 3
Taylor and Barb realize there is a killer after seeing brutal death and are trying to escape. They are covered by the killers and one shoots Barb, who falls and seems dead.
Hysteria: Moments of it since act 2, but here Barb is determined to save Tyler. He has some hysteria being strapped down on the table about to be lobotomized.
Escape of death: Barb, Taylor and friend do kill the twins and escape outside.
Death returns: while calling the police the caretaker sneaks up behind with a sword and swings.
Resolution: left open…. but it looks like at least one of them is dead.
I learned how to plot out each act in succession with appropriate horror plot points.
-
Barb’s CH’s for Horror
Group: Social event. All are on the tour bus to see a museum for serial killers.
Dying Pattern: starts with 10 and some are killed alone one by one and others in groups of two where one sees the other murdered then runs for their life
Characters:
Obnoxious guy – this guy pays to be let into the closed museum and is super cocky so is the 1st to die.
Hot guy/Red Herring – a little eye candy but is killed early on….but no one knows until near the end. They think he making out with someone at first. For awhile they think he could be the killer.
Complainer girl: She does not want to be in the museum but her BF, who is obnoxious forces her to go and then tries to have sex with her. She refuses.
Leader guy – well he thinks he is anyway., but he starts to spiral out of control
Rescuer girls – brainy and eventually figures out the mystery then has to save her friend. the 2nd one watches her friend get murdered but escapes and teams up with the brainy girl to exact their revenge on the killers for killing everyone and trying to kill them.
Innocent guy: the funny boy in the wheelchair who one killer wants to spare, but the other kills him anyway. He pulls on our heart strings.
Love interest/Complainer girl: She wants to spend time with her BF, but he’s brought his brother who is in a wheelchair and is taking up his time. She finally gets him alone to have sex.
Moral one: guy who is invited to see museum by mysterious person and wants to know more so goes b/c his grandfather was a doctor in the facility and his grandmother murdered by the psycho. He wants knowledge. His life has been bleak.
Semi-rebel – the rocker who is there to get inspiration to help him write his latest album.
I learned to have interesting characters with great, valid reasons for being where they are.
-
What I learned is to craft your monster whether it is obvious or not obvious.
TERROR: The monsters are non-identical twins. One is declared dead so does the killing with sneak attacks while the other one creates misdirection. No one can figure out what is going on.
Mystery: The murders happen when people are alone or in twos and the attacks are sudden. The monster has the advantage knowing the building well. The building is large so it takes awhile before people even understand that their friends are being murdered…. they just think they are looking at the museum displays.
APPEARANCE: the murdering twin appears in a black robe with hood and face covered by black mask. Th other twin is dressed like a nerd and acts like it.
<font face=”inherit”>RULE: Kill everyone to terrorize the person they are really after….Taylor. </font>They<font face=”inherit”> know eventually he will figure it out and be tortured by the knowledge and then they plan to fry his brain in revenge.</font>
<font face=”inherit”>MYTHOLOGY: The twins’ grandfather was in an </font>asylum for criminals. He was erroneously accused of murdered the entire staff causing misfortune to their entire family on the outside. They seek revenge against the family of the doctor who fried their grandfather’s mind and accused him.
-
Barbara Fixx
I’ve written 15 scripts.
I’m always looking to learn everything I can about being a better writer.
I am an identical twin.
-
Barbara Fixx
I agree to the terms of this agreement.
-
What is the CHANGE this movie is about? What is the Transformational Journey of this movie?That a truly cynical, narcissistic man can change and show care for a woman he loves.<div>
<div><div>
Lead characters:Who is the Change Agent (the one causing the change) and what makes this the right character to cause the change? Rita, who is always nice and sees the positive.
Who is the Transformable Character (the one who makes the change) and what makes them the right character to deliver this profound journey? Phil, the cynic who feels he is a star and deserves better and can treat people not nice.
What is the Oppression? The Groundhog Day
How are we lured into the profound journey? The repeating day
What causes us to connect with this story? Seeing how the old Phil is testing things out and becoming the new more positive Phil. Something we may have at times done.
Looking at the character(s) who are changed the most, what is the profound journey? From “old ways” to “new way of being.” Identify their old way: Identify their new way at the conclusion:What is the gradient the change? Phil is cynical, ungrateful, rude and out for himself. After little by little seeing what he causes or how others are kind anyway, he sees he can do better, be better, be kinder.
What steps did the Transformational Character go through as they were changing? Phil sees how no matter what Rita is kind and happy in life.
How is the “old way” challenged? What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change? He felt he was so special and the rest of people, so little and not worth his time or energy.
What are the most profound moments of the movie?
Phil knows lots about everyone
Phil helps old man after being dismissive of him.
Buys insurance from Ned
Tells Rita he loves her and doesn’t try to scam her anymore; just be with her.
Phil realizes he is happy when with Rita
What are the most profound lines of the movie?
What if you were stuck in the same day over and over and nothing happened?
No matter what happens the next day he’ll be happy knowing he loves Rita.
How does the ending payoff the setups of this movie? The street is different, Rita is beside him at 6:00pm, Phil realizes that he could live in this small town and Rita wants to be with him finally.
What is the Profound Truth of this movie? Just be nice. See the positive and it brings the positive. You can find love and be kind.
<hr>
Copyright 2014 – 2021, Hal Croasmun. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.ScreenwritingU.com+1
</div></div></div>
-
Hi everyone,
1. I’m Barbara Fixx from Los Angeles, originally Vancouver, BC.
2. I’ve written over 15 scripts…. good, bad and ugly. Mostly thrillers for some reason.
3. Always looking to improve my skills and understanding of scriptwriting.
4. I’m an identical twin and sometimes that’s been the topic of one of my thrillers.
-
Barbara Fix
I agree to the terms of this release form.