[barry Voss]

Barry’s Target Market:

I learned how easy it is to trace through a feature film and identify producers, directors and actors who have attachments to other films and more producers, directors and actors.

Title: A Taste of Cold Steel.

Logline: When a Chicago gangster’s son attempts to reunite with his brother, his efforts threaten the organization; he must die. In confronting his father, a split second changes the son’s life: the brother dies, the father is shot and the son takes over the father’s business.

Genre: Crime-drama.

Similar Movies:

The Departed, Donnie Brasco, Goodfellas, Heat, The Irishman.

Reviewing producers and not actors and directors, I identified 29 producers associated with the above movies.

Five actors to play the lead roles:

Lucas Hedges(son); Walton Goggins(brother); Lance Henriksen(father); Michael Madsen(prisoner); Jason Patric(prosecutor).

[barry Voss]

Barry’s phone pitch:

I learned through this assignment to spend more time researching producers’ bio’s on IMDB to find similarities in genre, budget and actors, then research these topics through the trades.

Pitch:

Voice: Hello, Crossroads Enterprises, what can you do for me?

Me: Hi, my name is Barry Voss and I’m calling to speak with Allen. Is he in?

Voice: He is. And you are?

Me: Barry Voss and I was recommended by Sydney to call Allen regarding my screenplay, A Taste of Cold Steel.

Voice: Sydney?

Me: My entertainment lawyer.

Voice: How do you know Sydney?

Me: I met ’em when I was practicing. He and I had a case together in Santa Monica. Now he represents me in trying to sell my screenplay. Like Sydney, I tried many criminal cases, including homicides.

Voice: Does Sydney still have those two young lawyers with ’em?

Me: I far as I know, he has always practiced alone.

Voice: Hmmm. What makes Sydney happiest?

Me: Besides the horses? I mean, that makes him happy.

Voice: Listen to the question. Happiest, not happy.
Me: Suing corporations.

Voice: Why?

Me: Deep pockets.

Voice: (Laughter). You know Sydney. Is there a message for Allen?

Me: It doesn’t make sense to me, but Sydney said to mention The Brotherhood of the Bell.

Voice: Well, you just got past the first gatekeeper: me. Now you can talk to the next gatekeeper.

Me: Who is that?

Voice: Me. I assume you’ve heard of elevator pitches?
Me: Of course, who hasn’t.

Voice: Good. We don’t use them here.

Me: Oh. Can I ask a question?
Voice: Sure.

Me: Why would a father want to kill his son?
Voice: Because the son wants to be a lawyer?

Me: No, because the father-a serious gangster-realizes that brotherly love is more dangerous and powerful than all the muscle the father can call up to protect his organization.

Voice: Well, you have me piqued. So, you write what?
Me: Crime-drama. I write what I lived.

Voice: Don’t we all. Have you ever sold or optioned a screenplay?

Me: No, no.

Voice: Budget range?
Me: Between $1-4 million.

Voice: Bingo.

Me: I know what the budget is to make this movie. Approximately.

Voice: What do you know about Allen?
Me: Besides him and Sydney eating frequently at Nate and Al’s? I know he has produced a few mid-budget movies, but primarily low-budget crime dramas. And I know he has been looking for a low-budget film so he can work with Peter Hoovey again since their last collaboration on The Paradise Sisters.

Voice: I didn’t like it. I mean, aren’t twins supposed to protect each other until their dying days? So, who are the main characters?

Me: The son is played by Lucas Hedges, the father is played by Lance Henriksen and the brother is played by Walton Goggins.

Voice: Has anyone else seen your screenplay?
Me: Sydney.

Voice: How many pages?
Me: 114.

Voice: So how does your movie end?
Me: Like life. Full of hypocrisy and irony. Sonny, the son, desperate to reunite with his older brother he hasn’t seen in fifteen years looks for him. His efforts threaten the estranged father’s criminal enterprise as the reunion will unravel family secrets.

Unable to control his son, he has him wrongly charged and convicted of murder, then imprisoned where-ironically-his lost brother tries to kill him. Sonny survives and finds a way to confront his brother and disclose only what his brother would know. It works. They unite, talk, then plan.

Sonny and Rico confront Sonny’s father in the parking lot of a whorehouse. Sonny’s “mother” is present. Accusations and lies fly around in a frenzied, emotionally-chaotic encounter. Rico, intense and vicious, cannot accept how he almost killed his brother. And he cannot accept how his and Sonny’s mother had been raped by Sonny’s father. And he really cannot accept that his father, now laying dead in the whorehouse after a day of debauchery, was part of all of this.

Rico reacts and kills their “mother,” who is their aunt. He then shoots Sonny’s father and admits to killing his father earlier that night. Unable to cope with the deception, Rico turns his gun on the police and commits suicide by cop.

Sonny is given his father’s enterprise from a reliable cop who is undercover for the organization.

Voice: Hmmm. Here’s what you do. I will give you my personal email address and you send me a copy of your script. And you don’t circulate your screenplay until Allen contacts you or Sydney in about a week. Okay?

Me: I can do that.

Voice: Speaking of Sydney, when will you next talk to your esteemed lawyer?
Me: Tomorrow. We are having lunch.

Voice: Nate and Al’s?

Me: Yes.

Voice: Tell ’em he’s late on child support.

Me: Oh, you must be Denise. He said some nice things about you.

Voice: Lawyers are not good at lying so stop right now. I got two good things out of that relationship, my son and this job. Did he tell you I cried when I left ’em?

Me: No. That’s sad.

Voice: Tears of joy.

[barry Voss]

Barry Voss’ Pitch Fest Pitch:

I learned in this assignment to structure my pitch according to distinct content producers need to hear to sell my screenplay.

1) Opening: I’m Barry Voss and I write what I lived. As a former defense attorney, I tried many homicide cases in state and federal courts. I gained exceptional insight of forensic evidence and the characters who populate the criminal justice system, from cops, prosecutors and judges to defendants, convicts and prisons.

2) Title and genre: A Taste of Cold Steel is a crime-drama script.

3) Hook: Why would a father want to kill his son?

4) Questions:

a) Budget range: Low budget, approximately $2-4MM.

b) Lead Actors: Son-Lucas Hedges

Father-Lance Henriksen

Brother-Walton Goggins

c) Acts: Act 1-Setup

Sonny hasn’t seen his brother in fifteen years. Not since their mother snapped a picture of them when they were very young, and then his brother disappeared. But he can’t handle being alone. He carries his loneliness, and picture, like a disease. Against his mother’s warnings, Sonny searches for his brother.

Act 2-Confrontation

Fearing that his criminal enterprise is being threatened, Sonny’s gangster father has his son wrongly charged and convicted of murder, then imprisoned where he is targeted for death by his brother, Rico, who doesn’t recognize him.

Sonny survives. Unable to reunite, he cooperates with the prosecutor and has Rico charged with attempted murder. Confronting Rico outside the courtroom, Sonny speaks. In a split second, Rico recognizes Sonny’s speech defect; then Sonny hands Rico their picture. Rico’s intense, hostile attitude melts; then he opens his arms to Sonny.

Act 3-Resolution

Sonny and Rico confront Sonny’s father in the parking lot of a whorehouse where Sonny first meets his father. His mother arrives to stop a confrontation. During a frenzied, emotionally-chaotic clash, Sonny finds out his “mother” is his aunt; that his father raped his mother; and that his mother died because she couldn’t deal with the pain of being raped by her half-brother.

Rico listens, then reacts. He kills their “mother,” then shoots Sonny’s father. Police inside the whorehouse earlier to investigate a killing are in a stand-off with Rico, who admits to killing his father inside the whorehouse.

In a burst of gunfire, Rico commits suicide by cop. The lead officer on the scene, an associate of Sonny’s father, instructs Sonny that he-Sonny- is now the boss.

d) Ending: Setup and payoff.

Sonny’s father did what he could to separate Sonny and Rico at a young age. He feared that Rico would never have become the killer he is if Sonny had been in his life.

The father underestimated his son’s desire to reunite with his brother. His father’s failed attempts to kill him result in Sonny and Rico reuniting and what Sonny’s father feared most comes true.

[barry Voss]

Barry’s Query Letter

In this lesson I learned the specific structure of a standard query letter requires a focus on marketability and an intriguing fact-pattern that lures a producer to request your script, in that order.

Query letter:
Why would a father attempt to kill his son?

Synopsis:

Sonny hasn’t seen his older brother in fifteen years, not since their mother snapped a photo of them, arms wrapped around each other. He carries the emotional scars of separation and the photograph.

Sonny searches for his brother, but his efforts to reunite do not go unnoticed by his gangster father. Sonny is wrongly convicted of murder and imprisoned where he’s targeted for death. By his brother. He survives because of a quirk of fate. Unable to reunite, Sonny cooperates with the prosecutor; his brother is indicted for attempted murder.

Outside of the courtroom, Sonny confronts his brother, who doesn’t recognize him. Until Sonny speaks. His brother blinks. Sonny nervously hands the photograph to his brother, whose eyes soften; he opens his arms. With an outpouring of emotion, Sonny goes to him.

They embrace, then plan a confrontation. In the parking lot of a brothel, Sonny sees his father, then his mother. During a frenzied, emotionally-chaotic clash, Sonny learns that his father raped his mother; that his “mother” is his aunt; and that his mother died from the pain of being raped.

Sonny’s brother listens, then reacts. He kills their “mother,” shoots Sonny’s father and then admits to having just killed his father inside the brothel. Unable to cope, Sonny’s brother commits suicide by cop. The ranking cop on the scene tells Sonny he is to assume his father’s criminal enterprise.

Bio: I write what I know. As a former criminal defense attorney I have exceptional experience with crime, the criminal justice system- including forensic evidence-and prisons.

If you are interested in my concept, I am willing to send you a copy of my screenplay.

Below is my contact information.

Sincerely,

[barry Voss]

Barry’s Synopsis and Hooks for A Taste of Cold Steel

1) What I learned doing this assignment is to recognize there must be continuity in focusing and integrating the COM and MIT Hooks in my screenplay, logline and synopsis.

2) Title: A Taste of Cold Steel.

3) Genre: Crime-drama.

4) Logline: When a Chicago gangster’s estranged son attempts to reunite with his brother, it threatens the organization; he must die. In confronting his father, a split second changes his son’s life: his father and brother die and the son takes over the organization.

5) Synopsis: Sonny hasn’t seen his older brother since their mother told him to watch over Sonny; she then took a photo of them together. Fifteen years later, Sonny carries the emotional scar of losing his brother and shoots dope to ease the pain.

Sonny ignores his mother’s warnings and searches for his brother. His efforts to reunite with his brother don’t go unnoticed by his father. Sonny is wrongly convicted of murder and imprisoned where he’s targeted for death by his brother. He survives only because his brother shanks him too quickly. Unable to make his brother understand, Sonny cooperates with the prosecutor; his brother is indicted for attempted murder, but Sonny will not testify at trial.

Outside the courtroom Sonny confronts his brother, who fails to recognize him. and threatens Sonny. Until Sonny speaks. His brother recognizes Sonny’s speech defect, blinks and tears well up in his eyes. Sonny nervously hands his brother the tattered photo of them as youngsters. His brother looks at the photo; his eyes soften and he opens his arms to Sonny. With an outpouring of emotion Sonny goes to his brother. They embrace, then they talk.

They plan a meeting with Sonny’s father in a parking lot of a brothel. Sonny’s pursuit of his brother has forced his mother to the meeting. During a frenzied, emotionally chaotic confrontation, Sonny learns that his mother is, in fact, his aunt and that his father raped his mother, who committed suicide.

Sonny’s brother, Rico, listens intently. Then admits that he just killed his real father, a judge, inside the brothel minutes earlier. Unaware how his true mother died, and knowing that he was used to kill Sonny, his brother kills their aunt, shoots Sonny’s father and commits suicide by cop.

The ranking cop at the scene kills Sonny’s brother, then warns Sonny that he has to take over the organization.

6) COM and MIT Hooks:

a) COM HOOKS:

Ultimate: The best and worst killers, junkies, convicts and compromised or outright morally bankrupt cops and judges

Wide audience appeal: People are intrigued by crime and the inter-workings of the criminal justice system, including cops, judges and convicts.

b) MIT HOOKS:

Unique villain and hero: The villain is Sonny’s father using Sonny’s brother to kill him to protect the organization.

Major hook of opening scene: Sonny’s mother warns Sonny’s brother to watch over Sonny. He fails to. The mother takes a photo of them with arms around each other, then Sonny’s brother disappears for fifteen years.

Emotional dilemma: Sonny is unable to live without his brother. He is an emotional wreck and becomes a junkie to ease his pain.

Sonny finally defies his mother and engenders his father’s anger, that causes him to be convicted and sent to prison where he is nearly killed by his brother. When Sonny and his brother finally reconcile, Sonny confronts his father and learns that his mother is his aunt, that his father raped his mother and that his mother killed herself.

Character betrayals: Sonny’s aunt has raised him and told him she was his mother. He finds out that he is the result of his mother being raped and that his mother did not leave the family but killed herself.

7) Other things:
The storyline occurs in Chicago and prison. It is gritty, foreboding and has cinematic flavor of The French Connection and Thief.

[barry Voss]

Barry’s High Concept/Elevator Pitches:

What I learned doing this assignment is to consciously integrate the main hook and components of marketability in crafting High Concept and Elevator pitches.

1) Big picture explanation of my lead character’s journey is:
Main Hook: The protagonist attempts to reunite with his brother and distance himself from his gangster father. But his efforts threaten his father’s enterprise. In confronting his father, his brother dies and the protagonist assumes his criminal enterprise.

2) How to tell the Main Hook in the most interesting way:
-Dilemma: Sonny goes against his mother’s admonition not to look for his brother, but following her edict causes him unbearable emotional pain which results in his drug addiction.

-Main Conflict: Pursuit of his brother causes a direct conflict resulting in his brother killing Sonny’s father, then committing suicide.

-Stakes: For Sonny, it is reuniting with his reason for living; for his father, it is survival of his criminal enterprise.

-Goal/Unique Opposition: Sonny’s goal is nothing less that reuniting with his brother; his father’s goal is maintaining his criminal enterprise at all costs, even if that means using Sonny’s brother to kill Sonny.

3) Elevator pitch incorporating the Components of Marketability:

When a Chicago gangster’s son attempts to reunite with his brother, his efforts threaten his father’s criminal enterprise and he must die. In a split second all goes wrong; the brother and father die, but the son survives and assumes the criminal enterprise.

[barry Voss]

Subject Line: Barry’s 10 Most Interesting Things about A Taste of Cold Steel.

What I learned during this assignment is to consciously integrate and layer into the screenplay the major “hooks” that can serve as an internal structure-or guide-that enhance the marketability of my screenplay.

Ten Most Interesting Things:

1) What is unique about the villain?

a)The villain, or antagonist, is the protagonist’s father and manipulates the protagonist’s brother to kill the protagonist.

b)The hero, or protagonist, is an unemployed addict who drifts aimlessly in life. However, he finally musters the strength to find his brother and during his journey transforms himself into a ruthless psychopath committed to challenging his father.

2) The hook of the opening scene is the obvious dislike and animosity the protagonist’s mother has toward the protagonist’s brother. She takes a photo of them, then separates them and triggers the protagonist’s 15 year downward spiral that begins the hero’s journey.

3) One major turning point is when the protagonist is framed for murder and imprisoned where his father attempts to have him killed.

Another turning point is the confrontation in a parking lot between the protagonist, antagonist, the protagonist’s mother and brother. The protagonist learns that his “mother” is, in fact, his aunt and that his father raped his mother.

4) An emotional dilemma is when the protagonist, desperate for money to hire an investigator to find his brother, decides to steal from his former employer. Unaware that he’s being tailed, he commits the theft, but is caught and then framed for his former employer’s death. This places him where his father wants him to be: in prison where he can be killed.

Another emotional dilemma for the protagonist is when he is pressured into testifying before a grand jury against his brother. He does this as he feels this is the only way to find his brother, so he forces him into the open courtroom or risk never finding him.

5) A major twist occurs when the protagonist and brother meet face to face after 15 years. The protagonist knows his brother, but his brother doesn’t know him and threatens the protagonist.

The brother pauses when the protagonist speaks because the protagonist has a unique speech defect that the brother recalls. And then the protagonist hands his brother a wrinkled and weathered photo that he has carried with him for many years. A photo of the two brothers when the protagonist was 5 years old, and they are hugging for the picture their “mother” took at the opening of the screenplay before she separates them from each other.

6) A reversal occurs when the protagonist and his brother join forces to undermine the prosecutor’s effort to prosecute the brother.

7) There are many character betrayals, from the protagonist’s mother being, in fact, his aunt; an attractive financial investor misleading and deceiving a corrupt cop; the corrupt cop’s partner deceiving him; and the prosecutor’s loyalties and conflicts being exposed.

8) A big surprise is that the protagonist becomes more violent than his brother and after his father’s death, the protagonist assumes the reins of power his father held.

[barry Voss]

Barry: Producer/Manager meetings.

Since meetings were set up, I assume the producer and manager would have read my logline and synopsis of my screenplay.

Before the meetings, I will have researched the producer and manager on IMDBPro, the daily trades and Google. Knowing the producer is focused on this project, not my career, I will know the producer’s genre(s), the budget range of his/her films, the “typical” level of actors (A-list, B-list) and what motivates this producer to produce certain films.

As for the manager, knowing the manager’s focus is developing my career, I will know the genres of screenwriters the manager represents, as well as actors. I will know what they look for in a screenwriter before signing that screenwriter.

1) Producer:

I will emphasize my experiences and abilities gained from years of technical writing and collaborating with others.

The producer will learn that I write what I lived, so that what is in the script is based on personal experiences-which gives me unique insight- and underscores why I am the only screenwriter who can write this screenplay with realism.

The producer will quickly learn that this crime-drama screenplay is a reliable and dependable genre that attracts a very large audience. It is a mix of crime, corruption, criminal justice and morally-bankrupt characters that populate every aspect of our criminal justice system.

Based upon my research, my screenplay will dovetail nicely with films he has produced and has characters that actors the producer formerly worked with have been waiting to immerse themselves in.

2) Manager:

Since I am an unknown quantity, I will emphasize my deep knowledge through experiences that I am qualified to write crime-drama screenplays. Additionally, the manager will become aware that my experiences have given me knowledge that will easily translate into numerous screenplays. In fact, I will tell the manager that I have researched four more screenplays and will be writing those screenplays as well.

The manager will realize that I am a good fit within their family of clients, that I collaborate well with others and have longevity in this business. Equally important is for the manager to know that I am motivated and independently driven to complete my screenplays.

3) What I learned is that, in addition to collaboration, the vision of my project by necessity must reflect the producer’s vision as well as reflecting the manager’s insight into this industry and, probably, familiarity with the producer.

[barry Voss]

Barry’s marketable components:

This lesson identifies the discreet components that define the parameters of marketability and guide-if not dictate-the screenwriter to incorporate telltale indicators that producers are searching for in a screenplay.

1) Logline: As a Chicago gangster’s estranged son attempts to reunite with his brother, his efforts threaten the organization. He’s convicted of murder and targeted for death in prison. From his hospital bed he plots his revenge, unaware that what he does may lead to his brother’s death.

2) Components of marketability:

(b)-Title: A Taste of Cold Steel. This term is loosely used to describe a minimal prison sentence or use of a needle to inject drugs. It is a phrase used by some felons and hard-core addicts.

(f)-Ultimate: This screenplay has the best or worst, depending on your perspective, addicts, judges, lawyers, psychopaths and cops.

(g)-Wide audience appeal: In this current political and social climate, I believe many people are interested in understanding better addiction and its consequences, law and order, and the criminal justice system with its often competing parts against the backdrop of Chicago’s organized crime.

3) How to enhance the components and integrate them in the pitch:

A) As to the title, it is in dialogue between two characters.

I don’t know how to enhance the characters beyond what I have done. I have fleshed out the characters enough to inspire the reader to visualize their subjective conception of how these characters should appear.

Regarding wide audience appeal, implicit in pitching the storyline line will be references to crime, corruption and pursuit of brotherly love at all costs.

B) Pitching the components will be the window dressing, or external aspects of the storyline, while emphasizing the compulsion to find his brother is the internal motivation that jeopardizes his life and his brother’s.

4) Lessons from this exercise:

In a short time, I’ve become more conscious of writing with a two-fold purpose: Writing my story in a cinematic and entertaining manner while cognizant of what producers need to sell content.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by  barry Voss.

[barry Voss]

Hello everyone. My name is Barry Voss. I’m a former trial lawyer. As an attorney, I had clients in the film and music industries that brought me to LA on a frequent basis.

In the late 90’s I attended a pitchfest in LA only with a concept for a movie. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. Although 3 production companies expressed interest in my concept, I had nothing in writing. Nothing happened.

I soon wrote a crime-drama story titled A Taste of Cold Steel. I never seemed to have the time to market the book. Recently, I decided to write a spec screenplay based on the book. This year I sent out a few queries and got some nibbles.

Currently, I’m on my 6th rewrite of my second crime-drama spec screenplay; it’s about a judge.

I have also researched three more screenplays and will write them once I’m finished with my current screenplay.

This class interests me as I believe it can better explain marketing and the integral players essential to this industry.

[barry Voss]

1) Title: A Taste of Cold Steel.

Genre: Crime-Drama.

Concept: A young man overcomes his self-destructive behavior to find his brother, only to be embroiled in a life-and-death struggle with his gangster-father that leads to death.

2) What’s attractive in my storyline is the strength of brotherly love that propels one brother to find his brother, unwilling to back down in the face of a father’s hate and selfish reasons that cause the separation with lethal consequences.

3) I’ll contact a manager. They’re predisposed to help nurture and advise screenwriters.

4) Marketing is inextricably connected to and dependent on screenplays that cater to what producers want: cinematic and engrossing storylines that feed the viewers’ tastes.

So, crafting a screenplay requires a conscious recognition of marketing.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by  barry Voss.

[barry Voss]

1)Barry Voss.

2)I agree to the terms of this release form.