BG
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[Thriller] Day 3: Creating World/Characters with MIS
ASSIGNMENT
Subject line: BG’s World and Characters! (place in first line)
What I learned doing this assignment: I interpreted a character’s Mystery to be a question about him, OR, to which he’s trying to find the answer, his Intrigue is his covert or underhanded activities, and his Suspense is what’s going to happen to him, OR, what he will do. Hope that’s correct.
1. Remind us of your CONCEPT and the Big M.I.S. of your story.
CONCEPT: An undercover reporter with a broken heart and a beautiful German agent try to stop a group of billionaires planning to start a war to gain control of energy resources.
Big Mystery: What is the main mystery of your story that will keep us wondering throughout the story? Who wants Alex to investigate Viktor Varga? What is Viktor Varga up to? What would be valuable enough to start a war for?
Big Intrigue: What is the covert, clandestine, underhanded plot that will live under the surface for most of the movie? A group of billionaires is out to start a war to gain control of energy resources. Major intelligence agencies are aware of this and are supportive.
Big Suspense: What is the main danger to your Hero that will continue to escalate throughout the script? Are Alex and Will going to be tortured and killed by the conspirators or the intelligence agencies for continuing their investigation?
2. Tell us the Intriguing World you have selected for this story: The shadowy world of the mega-rich running the world and the major intelligence agencies covertly assisting them.
3. With your top 2 or 3 characters, tell us the role they play and then answer these three questions:
Unwitting but resourceful Hero: Alex Grant is an engineer-turned-reporter with a broken heart. In the midst of investigating a tip, he puts himself in the crosshairs of major intelligence agencies. Over time, he discovers that there is a deadly conspiracy to start a war for profit and must decide whether to try to stop it or continue nursing his broken heart.
Alex’s Mystery: Can he trust Lilly? Can he rise above his heartache and fight the conspiracy?
Alex’s Intrigue: He’s an undercover reporter pretending to be a waiter.
Alex’s Suspense: Will Alex’s cover be blown?Dangerous Villain: Viktor Varga, billionaire philanthropist, has made it his mission in life to defend Western supremacy. His current project is fomenting a war in Malnia to gain control of European energy supplies.
Viktor Varga’s Mystery: Has he been betrayed? Who can he trust?
Viktor Varga’s Intrigue: The world thinks he’s a benevolent philanthropist, but he’s running covert ops that get people killed.
Viktor Varga’s Suspense: Will he succeed in fomenting war in Malnia? Will his conspiracy be exposed?Lilly Dane: Manager at The Club. Plus-sized beauty. She hires Alex as personal waiter for Viktor Varga and important guests.
Lilly’s Mystery: She’s wondering if she chose wisely when she covertly tricked Alex to come to London.
Lilly’s Intrigue: She’s an undercover German agent, working as manager at The Club.
Lilly’s Suspense: Will Viktor Varga discover her betrayal? Will Alex rise to the occasion she chose him for?Will Hastings: Alex’s sidekick and friend from grad school. Ace hacker and blogger, who lives in London and works odd jobs as contract programmer.
Will’s Mystery: Why does he live in the shadows instead of making oodles of money with all his talents?
Will’s Intrigue: He runs a blog, publishing information that governments want to keep hidden, and is already on the radar screen of major intelligence agencies.
Will’s Suspense: Will he survive his ‘interrogation’ at the safe house? -
[Thriller] Day 2: Creating the Big MIS
ASSIGNMENT
Subject line: BG’s Big M.I.S. (place in first line)
What I learned doing this assignment: I think setting up my Big MIS in short, memorable snippets like this will make it easy to remember them and will be a constant reminder as I write to stick to the program, i.e. make it mysterious, intriguing, and suspenseful.
Logline: An undercover reporter with a broken heart and a beautiful German agent try to stop a group of billionaires planning to start a war to gain control of energy resources.
1. What are the conventions of your story?
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Alex Grant is an engineer-turned-reporter with a broken heart. In the midst of investigating a tip, he puts himself in the crosshairs of major intelligence agencies. Over time, he discovers that there is a deadly conspiracy to start a war for profit and must decide whether to try to stop it or continue nursing his broken heart.
Dangerous Villain: Viktor Varga, billionaire philanthropist, has made it his mission in life to defend Western supremacy. His current project is starting a civil war in Malnia to gain control of European energy supplies.
High stakes: Alex’s life, Will Hastings’ life, Lilly’s life, lives of all the people who would die in a civil war, and the exposure of the NORTHSTAR conspiracy.
Life and death situations: Hitman attacking Alex, Will’s abduction and torture, battle at the safe house, hitman killing energy mogul, explosion at The Club.
This story is thrilling because? Throughout the story, we are constantly worried for Alex and Will as they try to solve the mystery. Each mystery they uncover puts them in more danger.
2. Tell us the Big M.I.S. of your story?
Big Mystery: What is the main mystery of your story that will keep us wondering throughout the story? Who wants Alex to investigate Viktor Varga? What is Viktor Varga upto? What would be valuable enough to start a war?
Big Intrigue: What is the covert, clandestine, underhanded plot that will live under the surface for most of the movie? A group of billionaires is out to start a war to gain control of energy resources. Major intelligence agencies are aware of this and are supportive.
Big Suspense: What is the main danger to your Hero that will continue to escalate throughout the script? Are Alex and Will going to be tortured and killed by the conspirators or the intelligence agencies for continuing their investigation?
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[Thriller] Day 1: The Conventions of Thrillers
ASSIGNMENT
Subject line: COMA (1978) Thriller Conventions (place in first line)
What I learned doing this assignment: During this exercise, I organized my ideas for my own screenplay according to the conventions of the THRILLER genre, and now, I’m wondering how I’m going to be able to invent all those set pieces.
2. Watch the movie and as you do, note the conventions of THIS story.
• Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: A young doctor, Susan, realizes that otherwise young and healthy patients undergoing routine surgery are going into coma. As she tries to find out what is causing this, she puts herself on the radar of hospital management. Over time, she discovers that there is a deadly conspiracy to sell organs for transplantation and she brings her ingenuity to the fight.
• Dangerous Villain: Dr Harris, the head of the hospital and the covert head of the conspiracy, wants her dead and sends assassins after her.
• High stakes: Susan’s life, patients’ lives, the janitor’s life, and the exposure of Dr Harris and the ‘organs for sale’ conspiracy.
• Life and death situations: Patients going into coma in the OR, the electrocution of the janitor, hitman chasing Susan in the hospital, the fight in the Jefferson Institute, escape from the Jefferson Institute, and finally ending with Susan on a gurney ready to be operated on by Dr Harris.
• This movie is thrilling because? Throughout the story, we are constantly worried for Susan as she tries to solve the mystery. Each mystery she uncovers puts her in more danger.
3. What is the BIG Mystery, Intrigue, and Suspense of this story?
• Big Mystery: Why are otherwise young and healthy patients going into a coma during routine surgery?
• Big Intrigue: The ‘organs for sale’ conspiracy that’s covertly tracking Susan’s investigation and sending assassins to stop her.
• Big Suspense: Will the conspiracy succeed in killing Susan?
4. Anything else you’d like to say about what made this movie a great thriller? This movie fits the Thriller conventions to a T.
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BG Erengil
I agree to the terms of this release form.
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Hello, fellow scribes! I’m BG from Massachusetts.
I have written three screenplays and I’m working on my fourth. It is a geopolitical action/thriller. I’m taking this course so that I can improve its thriller aspects.
Something strange or unusual about me? For normal people, the more you do something, the easier it gets. Unfortunately, for me, it’s the reverse. I don’t know why I’m so stuck with this one. I’m really overthinking and overworking it.
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ACTION LESSON 14 – Writing Great Action Set Pieces
ASSIGNMENT
BG’s Great Action Set Piece!
What I learned doing this assignment: I thought this was another great exercise. Even though the previous version of my action scene did imply a change in the relationship between the two leads, building in the meaning as instructed in this lesson improved the scene enormously.
SETUP: REPORTER convinced HOSTESS to help him rescue his friend, HACKER, from the safehouse. She said yes, because she, too, needs HACKER.
PRE-ACTION: As the team crawls on the grass toward the safehouse, HOSTESS is having second thoughts: She can’t believe agreed to such a hare-brained, dangerous plan.
ACTION: Multiple things going wrong becomes a test of their relationship: They face being killed or found out. But the team is finally out the door with the unconscious HACKER in a bag.
POST-ACTION: After so many things going wrong, will she continue to use him as her asset? As they run toward the cars, she pats him on the back — all sins forgiven! As they drive away, they bicker like a married couple — they are a team now.
MEANING: This action scene took HOSTESS from viewing REPORTER as an intelligence asset to viewing him as a partner in implementing their mutual objective.
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ACTION LESSON 13: Making Action Unique
ASSIGNMENT
BG’s Unique Action!
What I learned doing this assignment: I thought this was a great exercise. It stretched my brain and, actually, made me learn more about my story. However, many of these would change my story too much and require a major re-write. And I just want to finish this thing first.
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ACTION LESSON 12: Level 3 Action Emotions
ASSIGNMENT
BG’s Level 3 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment: This one really, really helped me write the initial draft of a scene I was feeling I would never be able to write.
3. Write the scene as a first draft, highlighting danger, excitement, and adrenaline.
SETUP:
Scottish moors. Moonless, windless night. REPORTER, HOSTESS, and 3 TEAM MEMBERS (TM#1, TM#2, TM#3) lie on the ground, wearing night vision goggles and small oxygen masks, crawling slowly toward the Safe House 50 feet away.Low light in the windows. TM#4 sits in one of the two cars parked behind them on the tall grass.
REPORTER operates a small drone, using a hand-held control device. The drone goes from window to window like a pollinating bee, inserting a tiny tube into any opening it can find.
REPORTER
(whispering)
Okay, I’ve injected all the gas I had. It’ll disperse and everyone will be sound asleep in minutes, if not already. Security cameras are off, everything is jammed —DANGER:
HOSTESS
Can’t believe I said yes to this thing. We can all be killed —The drone returns silently like a trained bird and lands next to the cars as — REPORTER springs forward.
TM#1 is already there, opening the door with his lock picks, revealing a shabby, dark hallway.
ADRENALINE:
REPORTER enters, holding a spray can, breathing fast, adrenaline pumping. The control device has been tucked into one of the large pockets hanging around his torso.RELIEF:
No sounds except for the faint humming of equipment — everybody is asleep! REPORTER heads straight into the sleeping quarters of the STATION CHIEF — seems like he has a floor-plan in his brain.HOSTESS
(hissing to TM#1)
Get the damn package!TM#1 consults a small piece of paper and TM#1 and TM#2 hustle to the ‘surgery’ dragging a large bag with air-holes.
SUSPENSE:
Just outside DOCTOR’s quarters, HOSTESS stops short, listening — not sure everybody is asleep!Fight / Flight / Freeze:
She freezes — everybody is not asleep! She creeps in —SURPRISE:
DOCTOR is getting up — frazzled — but holding a gun!Her arm shoots out — lifting and pulling him to herself with one hand, holding his gun arm with the other — turning toward the door with him in front of her, as —
SHOCK:
— a groggy GUARD#1 shoots at them from the doorway.As DOCTOR slumps, HOSTESS catches his gun and shoots GUARD#1 dead.
TM#3 comes up behind GUARD#1, takes his gun and makes sure DOCTOR is dead.
As HOSTESS and TM#3 arrange the bodies and the guns to make it look like a shoot-out took place —
REPORTER rushes in.
REPORTER
Oh, crap! You said there was only one guard!HOSTESS
(huffy)
And you said everyone would be asleep! Just go make sure yours are truly asleep!REPORTER rushes back to spray more sleeping gas on the sleeping STATION CHIEF and GUARD#2.
TM#1 and TM#2 hustle the large bag, with HACKER in it now, out the door — followed by REPORTER and HOSTESS.
RELIEF:
REPORTER checks his watch.REPORTER
Phew! Out the door in less than 2 minutes!They run toward the cars.
EXCITEMENT:
As TM#1 lays out the bag containing HACKER on the backseat —REPORTER
That could have gone down a whole lot worse!TM#1, TM#2, and TM#3 drive off. REPORTER and HOSTESS get into the second car. The drone is on the back seat. HOSTESS drives.
HOSTESS
So. You’re gonna hang all this on that poor woman, aren’t you?
(beat)
You didn’t think I saw you hiding financial reports among her papers, did you?REPORTER
You’re not the only one who can frame people, you know.
(beat)
Did you have to kill the doctor?HOSTESS
Hey, I wasn’t the one who shot him. Besides, he tortures people.
(beat)
So. What’s she gonna do now?REPORTER
Well, I don’t think she’ll be ordering any more ‘extreme interrogation sessions’! She’ll probably say her doctor was paid off to spring the prisoner, there was a shoot-out with security guys —HOSTESS
And she slept through it all! And where is the prisoner supposed to be now?REPORTER: On the loose?
(brightly)
Maybe they’ll ‘question’ her on what kind of transport she arranged for him!HOSTESS
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then they find the incriminating evidence in her files… Why is it always the woman who has to do the heavy lifting? -
ACTION LESSON 11: Level 2 Action Emotions
ASSIGNMENT
BG’s Level 2 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment: This lesson provided a really helpful framework for constructing a fight scene and adding detail to it.
2. Create an outline of the scene that includes each of the three emotions.
SETUP: After discovering his friend’s flat has been ransacked, REPORTER is walking back to his cheap hotel.
SURPRISE: ASSASSIN jumps out of the shadows and attacks him. REPORTER is surprised — do muggings occur in London?
SHOCK: He soon discovers this is no mere mugger. He’s terrified.
SUSPENSE: Will an untrained novice, struggling on the basis of instinct, survive an attack by a trained professional?
SURPRISE: REPORTER doesn’t know hand-to-hand combat, but he does know about the forces of nature, like gravity.
RELIEF: REPORTER pushes ASSASSIN off his center of gravity and topples him down.3. Write the scene as a first draft, highlighting surprise, shock, and suspense.
As REPORTER walks along the dark alley behind HACKER’s apartment building, deep in thought — a slight RUSTLE — REPORTER turns his head to look, as —
A kosh grazes the side of his head and lands on his shoulder. His eyes open wide in surprise — do these things happen in London?
He leans into the attack, his arms going up instinctively, trying to keep body close — trying to turn — get his arms around him to prevent him from hitting again —
For a second, REPORTER gets to look into ASSASSIN’s eyes. Cold, business-like. REPORTER tries to cling tighter, surprise giving way to shock — fear —
It is a deadly struggle between a trained professional and a total novice — with nobody around to watch. In one smooth move, the professional slides out of the clumsy embrace, throwing off the novice onto his back.
REPORTER rolls away, desperately rummaging in his pocket. ASSASSIN no longer looks cool — he’s angry now. He takes out a switchblade. As he approaches to deliver the coup de grace, REPORTER throws himself toward the space between ASSASSIN’s legs, stabbing upwards with his screwdriver — the handle end.
By the time, he realizes his mistake and tries to turn it around, ASSASSIN is already bending over, trying to reach the coiled pest between his legs with the switchblade.
REPORTER squeezes through, uncoiling and pushing himself back with his own legs, taking ASSASSIN’s legs with him. ASSASSIN falls forward, forehead hitting concrete, switchblade flying off.
REPORTER rolls toward the head end, stands up and dusts himself off.
REPORTER
(muttering)
Phew, that was close!He peers down. ASSASSIN’s not out! He’s glaring, trying to raise himself. If his eyes could kill…
REPORTER hesitates, then kicks him gently on the on the side of the head — taking care not to kick the guy’s nose into his brain. He bends over to make sure he’s out this time. As he searches him —
REPORTER
(to the unconscious guy)
I gotta hit the library — I should learn some judo.The kosh, the switchblade, no gun, no wallet or identification.
REPORTER
And who the hell are you?Looks like he’s about to kick him again — but doesn’t — bends down to the unconscious man —
REPORTER
You attacked the wrong waiter, didn’t you? -
ACTION LESSON 10: Level 1 Action Emotions
ASSIGNMENT
BG’s Level 1 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment: I decided to do this using a simple scene, rather than one of the complicated action sequences, which I haven’t mapped out yet.
2. Create an outline of the scene that includes each of the three emotions.
Anxiety: As MI6 agents search for bugging devices, BILLIONAIRE paces anxiously.
Fear: Agents try to comfort him, but his fear is increasing — how can this happen to him?
Relief: Agents declare the room clean. Phew! His relief is visible.3. Write the scene as a first draft, highlighting anxiety, fear, and relief.
INT. ST. MICHAEL CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
Five men and one woman are buzzing around with wands, scanning all the walls, furniture, equipment, anything they can reach. They are AGENTS from MI6. They don’t look like James Bond.
BILLIONAIRE hovers like a mother hen — clearly anxious.
BILLIONAIRE
I don’t understand! We don’t let anyone near here!His eyes dart from wand to wand around the room — fear level rising on his face.
AGENT #1
Our orders are to check everything, sir.
(comforting)
It could be a false alarm, sir.CLACKING OF HEELS from the corridor outside. HOSTESS enters. She looks around.
HOSTESS
Good thing I came in early —BILLIONAIRE walks to her.
BILLIONAIRE
(plaintive)
I can’t understand it! We don’t let anyone near here!HOSTESS puts her hand on his arm — comforting — as AGENTS exhaust all surfaces and finish up.
AGENT #2
Clear!AGENT #1
Good news, sir! This room is clean!Relief washes over BILLIONAIRE’s face. He turns to HOSTESS.
BILLIONAIRE
You think that idiot ENERGY MOGUL shot off his mouth somewhere?HOSTESS
And I was planning on sneaking out and checking some new shoes this morning.
(smiles at BILLIONAIRE)
Oh well, old shoes will have to do.BILLIONAIRE puts his arm around her shoulders.
BILLIONAIRE
No, no. You go on ahead. Go get some shoes. You deserve it. I’ll see them out.HOSTESS
Thank you, sir.She turns to leave.
INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE ST. MICHAEL CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
In the distance, heels CLACKING, HOSTESS turns the corner and disappears.
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ACTION LESSON 9 – Twists that Engage Us!
ASSIGNMENT
BG’s Favorite Twists!
What I learned doing this assignment: I’m starting to think that my whole concept is a twist: A broken-hearted reporter, working undercover as a waiter to get a scoop about a conspiracy to start a war, decides to fight the conspirators, instead. Clearly, a change of direction. But I don’t know what type of twist that is. Yet;))
Initial Plan: REPORTER goes to check out a posh club in London, where, according to a tip he has received, a conspiracy is centered.
Unexpected Support: As he’s mulling over how he should get into The Club, he’s accosted by HOSTESS, who works there, and is hired on the spot as a waiter. Now he’s inside the den of thieves!
Plan Fails: REPORTER’s “ingratiate yourself with BILLIONAIRE for access to him” plan fails when he’s spotted near forbidden areas of The Club.
Plan Succeeds: So he resorts to planting a listening device, a more illegal means, and succeeds in learning part of the conspirators’ plan.
New Threat: REPORTER’s conversation with EDITOR is picked up by NSA. Now, major intelligence agencies are involved.
New Threats: MI6 searches for, but cannot find, a listening device (TWIST). ENERGY MOGUL hires ASSASSIN.
Identity or Plan Exposed: HOSTESS reports to her control, revealing to the audience that she’s a German spy.
New Threat: REPORTER discovers his friend and ally, HACKER, has been abducted.
It Just Got Worse: And then, on the way back to his hotel, he’s attacked by ASSASSIN.
Identity or Plan Exposed: REPORTER discovers that HOSTESS is a German spy.
New Resources: REPORTER discovers HOSTESS is an ally, and it was she who sent him the tip, and removed his listening device to protect him.
Betrayal / Surprising Alliance: HOSTESS is working for BILLIONAIRE under false pretenses: She’s a spy, who is there to stop his plans (betrayal). She’s allied with REPORTER, who’s her asset and who’s also betraying him.
Deceived / Surprising Truth: REPORTER is passing himself off as a waiter, but when he decides that is no longer a viable plan, he writes a letter to BILLIONAIRE, confessing that he was there to get an interview, and apologizing for deceiving him.
Attacked / Protected: ASSASSIN attacks REPORTER again, but HOSTESS flies out of the shadows and flattens ASSASSIN.
Trap / Trick / Escape: REPORTER tricks BILLIONAIRE, and causes him to arrange the killing of a fellow conspirator.
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ACTION LESSON 8 – Why Do We Care
ASSIGNMENT
BG’s Likability/Empathy/Justification
What I learned doing this assignment: This assignment made me think and come up with at least one new scene idea.
LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY
A. Other people like or respect the character. REPORTER’s neighbors and his editor like him and try to cheer him up.
B. The character shows love for something. He’s been dumped by the love of his life. He’s still in love and he’s in the middle of his grieving process.
C. They’re trying to do something good.
D. Save the cat — rescue or do something good for someone else. The first time we meet him, he’s under an elderly neighbor’s kitchen sink, fixing a broken pipe.
E. Funny, humorous, witty. REPORTER has self-deprecating, bitter wit of the kind that depressed people have.
F. Kindness. He’s a kind, courageous person, who risks his own life to rescue his friend.
G. Good moral decisions and actions. Being on the right side. He will get out of his funk and will try to stop a war. And he will try to do it without killing anyone.EMPATHY / DISTRESS
A. Undeserved misfortune.
B. External Character conflicts.
C. Plot intruding on life.
D. Moral dilemmas. REPORTER has to decide between saving his friend and not breaking the law.
E. Forced decisions they’d never make.
F. Wound attacked.JUSTIFICATION
A. The character or their family abused.
B. Threatened by others.
C. The Hero is the victim of attacks. REPORTER is ambushed twice.
D. They’ve suffered major losses.
E. The Villain or their representatives have trespassed. The villains want to start a war for their own interests and benefit. They abduct and torture his friend. -
Action Lesson 7: Map Out Your Story
ASSIGNMENT
BG’s Story Map!
What I learned doing this assignment: Now that I have weaved together the Mission, Villain and Action tracks, the Action steps appear few and far between!!! I need more dead bodies, shootouts and car chases. Hard to make a cerebral hero do things he doesn’t want to do. I’m wondering whether I should switch to the thriller genre, where people can just sneak around in the dark without killing anyone. Or, figure out a way to work in a car chase on top of a train, or something;)))
A CLUB FOR PATRIOTS
THE PLAN: The Villain’s plan is in place before the movie starts and the Hero wanders into that plan, not knowing what he is getting into.
It is a conspiracy, codenamed NORTHSTAR, to pump weapons and militants into MALDOVINIA, where rebels are battling government forces. The conspirators want to turn the protracted insurgency into a full-blown land war in the middle of Europe and disrupt piped natural gas supply, so that they can sell expensive LNG (Liquefied Natural Gas) to Europeans.
The conspiracy is led by BILLIONAIRE, a man of immense wealth, who uses his media empire as a weapon in his crusade to fight off any challenge to the Western-led world order. His second-in-command is ENERGY MOGUL, another billionaire. He wants Germans to stop buying cheap, piped natural gas and buy, instead, his five-times more expensive LNG.
ACT 1:
1. OPENING
Mission 1: HUMBLE AND HEART-BROKEN: In a modest brownstone in the suburbs of DC, a young man is under a kitchen sink, fixing his elderly neighbor’s leaky plumbing, when the building manager walks in to deliver a fat envelope. The young man slides out, holding a big wrench. He is REPORTER, an engineer–turned–reporter, who has been dumped by the love of his life and is unable to get over it.
The neighbor lady and the building manager crowd around the sad young man, trying to cheer him up. She tries to interest him in freshly-baked brownies. The building manager says, “Wow, what a big envelope! Mysterious! Aren’t you going to open it?” As he holds it against the light and tries to see what’s inside —
Action 1: WEAPONS OF WAR: — we cut to a remote airfield in MALDOVINIA, where a combat drone circles overhead like a giant prehistoric bird. In front of open hangar doors, weapons of war, tied up on pallets, are being unloaded from the cavernous bowels of a cargo plane.
Villain 1: CONSPIRATORS’ MEETING #1: This is being monitored in real-time on a wall-sized screen in the St. Michael conference room of a posh London club named A Club for Patriots. Screens and fancy equipment everywhere. You might think you were in the situation room at the Pentagon.
Five very powerful men sit around a table, discussing their operation, codenamed NORTHSTAR, to start a war to gain control of energy supplies.
Their leader is BILLIONAIRE, a man of immense wealth, who uses his media empire as a weapon in his crusade to fight off any challenge to the Western-led world order. His second-in-command is ENERGY MOGUL, another billionaire. His needs are pecuniary and easier to understand. He just wants bigger markets to sell his expensive LNG (Liquefied Natural Gas) to.
2. INCITING INCIDENT
Mission 2: THE TIP: Back in his own flat, REPORTER examines the contents of the fat envelope: Blurry photos of an important-looking man in evening wear, an imposing building, and some bank statements. A few reverse-image searches, and in no time at all, he has identified —
Villain 2: BILLIONAIRE: — BILLIONAIRE and his posh club in London, named A Club for Patriots. There is ton of information on the Internet about BILLIONAIRE: his philanthropy, his foundation, his speeches at Davos…
Mission 3: EDITOR WANTS A SCOOP: Next morning, REPORTER shows the material to his editor, named EDITOR, who thinks this is definitely a tip worth investigating. He’s excited. A scoop like that could put his small, weekly magazine on the map.
REPORTER is only going through the motions, he’s in his own world of pain. EDITOR snaps his fingers. “Okay, time to snap out of it. The world doesn’t revolve around you. I want you to hop to London and get me a story! And keep it cheap, no French restaurants on company dime!”
Mission 4: HACKER HELPS: Before flying to London, REPORTER shows the material, via secure video-link, to HACKER, a friend who lives in London. They conclude from copies of the bank statements that money is being pooled to finance a nasty operation, and that someone is trying to stop it by sending this tip. REPORTER is not interested, he’s got his own issues. He says, “Yeah, yeah, the world is full of nasty stuff, let’s just stick to getting a story.”
Mission 5: FIRST ACTION: CASING THE JOINT: REPORTER flies to London, gets a room at a cheap hotel, and the next morning goes to the club in the photos. A gold name plate, hiding behind climbing ivy, announces ‘A Club for Patriots.’ Very discrete. It screams, If you don’t already know, you don’t belong here.
Mission 6: HOSTESS HIRES: While REPORTER looks around, a big, beautiful woman catches up, calling out, “Hi! Don’t you remember me? I’m HOSTESS, I work at The Club!” He doesn’t remember, but allows himself to be hired by her on the spot as a waiter.
Mission 7: INITIAL PLAN: SNOOPING FOR A SCOOP: That night REPORTER plots with HACKER over video-link how he should ingratiate himself with BILLIONAIRE so that BILLIONAIRE will want to keep him around to serve him. REPORTER tells HACKER he hates to lie, but he studies for his interview with BILLIONAIRE.
Villain 3: REPORTER MEETS BILLIONAIRE: Next morning, at The Club, he meets BILLIONAIRE, who takes a shine to him — REPORTER can speak French and knows the labels of 200 most expensive wines!
Villain 4: CAUGHT SNOOPING: But the ingratiate–for–access plan backfires before it starts, because BILLIONAIRE spots him near the St. Michael conference room and bans him from the floor.
3. END OF FIRST ACT — TURNING POINT
Action 2: BREAK-IN: So he needs to make a new plan to investigate the conspiracy. He moves up the ladder of deception: He jerry-rigs a listening device, climbs in through an open window, and plants it in the thermostat of the St. Michael conference room.
ACT 2:
Villain 5: CONSPIRATORS’ MEETING #2: As BILLIONAIRE and the other conspirators have a heated meeting about the funding of operation NORTHSTAR —
Mission 8: DISCOVERY: — REPORTER, in his car, listens via his jerry-rigged listening device. He discovers that the conspirators are planning an operation codenamed NORTHSTAR that will pump in weapons and militants into MALDOVINIA, where separatists are battling government forces. Their goal is to turn the protracted insurgency into a full-blown land war in the middle of Europe and disrupt piped natural gas supply, so that they can sell expensive LNG (Liquefied Natural Gas) to Europeans.
Mission 9: GETTING EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED: REPORTER is upset and pissed. He calls EDITOR, over an encrypted connection, to report his findings. He’s emotional, he seems out of his funk now: He blurts out, Just who are these men who feel entitled to start wars and consign so many to destruction and death for their own purposes?
Villain 6: MONITORING EVEN ENCRYPTED COMMUNICATIONS: Unfortunately for him, NSA Keyword Monitoring Programs pick up on his careless use of the word NORTHSTAR and an alert goes out. At CIA, Langley, DEPUTY DIRECTOR FOR EASTERN EUROPE meets with underlings. They are not only aware of NORTHSTAR, but they are covertly supportive. He tells staffers NSA has warned them that the press may be onto NORTHSTAR. They decide to alert BILLIONAIRE via MI6 and other cutouts.
Villain 7: MI6 RAID: Six agents from MI6 show up at dawn to sweep the St. Michael conference room. No bugging devices are found. BILLIONAIRE looks relieved. ENERGY MOGUL mutters quietly under his breath — he still thinks REPORTER is involved somehow. HOSTESS leaves quickly —
Mission 10: SHE’S A SPY!: — and walks fast to her car with her large Gucci bag slung over her shoulder. In her car, which she keeps parked in a remote spot of a major retailer’s lot, she sets up an unusual-looking laptop and some equipment, and sends an encrypted message to her control, GERMAN AGENT. They establish a secure link and talk. She reports the MI6 agents’ dawn visit and says she’ll have to figure out a way to deflect suspicion away from ‘the mule.’
Mission 11: PUZZLED AND SUSPICIOUS: Meanwhile, MI6 agents’ dawn visit to sweep for bugs has created excitement among the kitchen staff. When REPORTER walks in for his shift that morning, a waitress rushes to him and gushes, “They were everywhere, Monsieur! But they didn’t find anything!” REPORTER at first looks concerned, then relieved and surprised. His eyebrows go up slightly — brain whirring, puzzle pieces jumping around, assembling themselves into a coherent picture. He spots HOSTESS approaching. He hastily moves behind a group of workers to avoid being seen — he’s gotten suspicious of HOSTESS.
Villain 8: ASSASSIN HIRED: That afternoon ENERGY MOGUL arranges a meeting in the park with ASSASSIN, known as hitman for the rich and famous. As they walk under the trees, ENERGY MOGUL is limping. He complains to ASSASSIN about his gout, about BILLIONAIRE, about REPORTER, and then, he hires him to incapacitate REPORTER — without authorization from BILLIONAIRE. “Just break every bone in his body, but don’t kill him — BILLIONAIRE doesn’t like attention drawn to his club!”
Mission 12: HOSTESS PLANTS EVIDENCE: That night, HOSTESS again sits in her car with her unusual-looking laptop and some equipment and sends an encrypted message to her control, GERMAN AGENT. She then plants evidence remotely into the transatlantic data stream, implicating HACKER, in order to deflect Intelligence agencies away from REPORTER.
Action 3: DEPUTY DIRECTOR ORDERS AN ABDUCTION: NSA monitoring programs latch onto the fake information planted by HOSTESS in monitored transatlantic communications. At CIA, Langley, DEPUTY DIRECTOR FOR EASTERN EUROPE again meets with underlings to discuss the legal advantages of capturing a foreign citizen as opposed to an American reporter. They decide the law permits abduction of a foreigner for national security purposes. DEPUTY DIRECTOR says, “Getting an American reporter would create legal issues. No such impediment to the abduction of a foreigner for national security purposes! I want HACKER in the safe house by tomorrow!”
4. MID-POINT
Action 4: ABDUCTION: Scottish moors. A black MI6 van speeds toward a dark, lonely-looking house, looming in the distance. In the van, HACKER lies unconscious with two boxes full of his electronic equipment by his side. An American rendition team sits in front.
Mission 13: APPARENT DEFEAT: Meanwhile, REPORTER keeps trying and can’t get through to his friend HACKER. He leaves his room with some tools. He climbs up to HACKER’s flat – seems he’s getting used to this. He jimmies open a window, and goes in. He finds it ransacked. And all of HACKER’s electronic equipment are missing.
Action 5: FIGHT: On the way back to his hotel from HACKER’s ransacked apartment, REPORTER is ambushed by ASSASSIN. He tries to fight off ASSASSIN, a professional hitman. He finally pushes him off his center of gravity, toppling him down. While ASSASSIN is down, he kicks him unconscious. Then, REPORTER kicks again — he’s really pissed! He bends down and whispers, You attacked the wrong waiter, didn’t you?
Action 6: SUSPICION, SURVEILLANCE and DISCOVERY: Next morning, REPORTER is really cold toward HOSTESS, who has come to the kitchen to talk to him. He evades her attempts to talk.
That evening, REPORTER follows HOSTESS to the parking lot. Inside her car, HOSTESS starts setting up her secure laptop and her gear on the passenger-side seat. REPORTER looks in through the window. He recognizes the equipment – their images had zipped by on his screen while he was researching listening devices in his hotel room. He knocks on the window. HOSTESS looks surprised, but moves her gear to her lap and unlocks the door. REPORTER slides into the passenger seat and says, Why don’t we talk here?
Mission 14: A NEW ALLY: In the car, REPORTER confronts HOSTESS, who admits to being a German agent. She tells him they are working for the same goal: to stop a war. She tells him there are many Germans opposed to paying high energy prices to accommodate Western geopolitical ambitions. She admits that it was she who sent him the tip, and that she removed his listening device to protect him. (But she does not tell him that she caused HACKER’s abduction!) She offers to help REPORTER find his missing friend: “You help me, I help you!”
Villain 9: TORTURE: Meanwhile, at the remote CIA safe house, DOCTOR reports HACKER has been interrogated, he’s in bad shape, and insists he didn’t hack or send any hacked materials to REPORTER. STATION CHIEF does not believe. She tells DOCTOR to keep on trying.
Mission 15: NEW PLAN: The attack on him and his friend’s disappearance have caused REPORTER to realize he needs a new plan. He brainstorms and decides staying as a waiter at The Club is no longer safe or useful. He writes a letter to BILLIONAIRE, confessing and apologizing for working at his club under false pretenses in order to get an interview with him. Then, he moves in the night to a different cheap hotel to hide out.
5. END OF SECOND ACT — TURNING POINT
Mission 16: EXTREME GUILT FEELINGS: Next morning, he also tenders his resignation to HOSTESS, and invites her to lunch. They eat under some old trees to avoid satellite surveillance. HOSTESS tells him interagency chatter indicates HACKER is being interrogated (euphemism for tortured) at a desolate CIA safe house in the Scottish Moors. REPORTER is horrified and blames himself for involving his friend in such a dangerous operation. His heart is broken — again.
ACT 3:
6. CRISIS
Mission 17: DILEMMA AND PERSUASION: In another move up the ladder deception and violence, REPORTER decides to rescue HACKER — from what is, in essence, a government prison. He asks HOSTESS for help. She points out that it would be a very high-risk operation.
REPORTER tells her that he has a plan for stopping NORTHSTAR. “A nice, bloodless plan,” he tells her, “where we don’t have to kill any of the bad guys. Let the Goliaths kill each other. But I absolutely need HACKER to be able to do it. Since you also want to stop NORTHSTAR, will you help me rescue him?”
7. CLIMAX
Action 7: BATTLE AT THE SAFE HOUSE: HOSTESS agrees — they are a team now! Using tools and a plan made by him, REPORTER, HOSTESS and HOSTESS’s contacts carry out an elaborate rescue operation to break HACKER out of the CIA safe house. HACKER is spirited away to an undisclosed location.
Action 8: ASSASSIN ATTACKS AGAIN: After the safe house operation, on his way back to his new hotel where he’s hiding out, REPORTER is again attacked by ASSASSIN, wielding a taser this time. HOSTESS, who is secretly following him to protect him, flies out of the shadows and flattens ASSASSIN with a body-slam!
Action 9: STOPPING A KILLING: REPORTER stops HOSTESS, who’s sitting on ASSASSIN, from crushing his rib cage and lungs, saying, “Wait, let’s not close that door!”
Mission 18: NEW PLAN: Now that HACKER is safe, REPORTER asks HOSTESS for help to put NORTHSTAR out of business. REPORTER has made a plan to stop NORTHSTAR: “Take away their money, and what is left? A bunch of preening old men, trying to rule the world! And since my hacking skills are nowhere near what the job requires, can you set it up so that HACKER participates?” She agrees and arranges HACKER’s participation via secure video-link from the undisclosed location.
Mission 19: FOLLOW THE MONEY: REPORTER, HOSTESS and HACKER, participating via video-link, hold a brainstorming session to refine REPORTER’s original plan to put NORTHSTAR out of business.
Action 10: A HACKING OP: REPORTER and HOSTESS, together with HACKER participating via video-link, conduct a major hacking operation to divert the conspiracy’s 20 billion dollar NORTHSTAR funds and make it look like one of the conspirators did it.
8. RESOLUTION
Villain 10: CONSPIRATORS’ MEETING #3: Next day, BILLIONAIRE holds an emergency NORTHSTAR status meeting. He’s breathing fire: His daily review of accounts shows the 20 billion dollar kitty is no longer in the secret NORTHSTAR account. After a heated discussion, with recriminations flying around and ENERGY MOGUL on the defensive, BILLIONAIRE terminates NORTHSTAR.
Villain 11: ARRANGING A HIT: That night, BILLIONAIRE finds evidence in the accounts that a lot of the NORTHSTAR money has moved to accounts controlled by ENERGY MOGUL. As if bringing unwelcome attention to the group wasn’t enough! He calls ASSASSIN to arrange a walk in the park.
Villain 12: A WALK IN THE PARK: BILLIONAIRE tells ASSASSIN, Your contract with ENERGY MOGUL regarding REPORTER is cancelled! He hires him for twice his usual fee to kill ENERGY MOGUL instead.
Villain 12: CLEANING UP THE MESS: Then, BILLIONAIRE goes into clean-up mode in order to protect his reputation and the rest of his plans. He calls REPORTER’s editor and tells him he’ll give an exclusive interview to REPORTER.
Mission 20: THE INTERVIEW: During the interview, BILLIONAIRE gives his ‘the things we must do to defend the Western-led world order’ speech, tries to find out how much REPORTER knows, and blames it all on ENERGY MOGUL. REPORTER’s questions are mild and respectful. But there is change in the air. The balance of power between the two has shifted. After REPORTER leaves, BILLIONAIRE looks unsettled. He continues to stare, like a malign bird of prey, at REPORTER’s empty chair.
Villain 13: ASSASSIN DELIVERS: Next day, there is a major commotion and emergency vehicles at the entrance to ENERGY MOGUL’s townhouse. A gurney is carried out. CORONER tells the gathered reporters he was found dead in his bed. CORONER attributes it to sudden cardiac arrest due to excessive colchicine, a medication he was taking for his gout.
Villain 14: LIKE IT NEVER EXISTED: That night, the floor of a hidden room behind St. Michael Conference Room suffers a sudden structural failure and collapses. As the resulting fire from broken gas pipes destroys NORTHSTAR documents and equipment —
Mission 20: HUMBLE AND HAPPY: — we cut to a fancy restaurant nearby, where REPORTER and HOSTESS/GERMAN SPY toast each other with a medium-priced French wine. He is happy and animated. A guy who never smiled, is smiling and laughing again. His heart has healed!
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Action Lesson 6: Creating Your Action Structure
ASSIGNMENT:
BG’s Action Structure!
What I learned doing this assignment: I had trouble assembling my events into the structure template. Finding the right pieces from the three tracks… Everything seemed jumbled, same events written from different perspectives, in different orders…
Look through your three tracks (Mission, Villain, and Action) and find the points that could work for this structure:
A CLUB FOR PATRIOTS
THE PLAN: The Villain’s plan is in place before the movie starts and the Hero wanders into that plan, not knowing what he is getting into.
It is a conspiracy, codenamed NORTHSTAR, to pump weapons and militants into MALDOVINIA, where rebels are battling government forces. The conspirators want to turn the protracted insurgency into a full-blown land war in the middle of Europe and disrupt piped natural gas supply, so that they can sell expensive LNG (liquefied natural gas) to Europeans.
The conspiracy is led by BILLIONAIRE, a man of immense wealth, who uses his media empire as a weapon in his crusade to fight off any challenge to the Western-led world order. His second-in-command is ENERGY MOGUL, another billionaire. He wants Germans to stop buying cheap, piped natural gas and buy, instead, his five-times more expensive LNG.
1. Opening: In a modest brownstone in the suburbs of DC, a young man is under a kitchen sink, fixing his elderly neighbor’s leaky plumbing, when the building manager walks in to deliver a fat envelope. The young man slides out, holding a big wrench. His name is REPORTER. He’s an engineer–turned–reporter, who has been dumped by the love of his life and is unable to get over it.
The neighbor lady and the building manager crowd around the sad young man, trying to cheer him up. She tries to interest him in freshly-baked brownies. The building manager says, “Wow, what a big envelope! Mysterious! Aren’t you going to open it?” As he holds the envelope against the light and tries to see what’s inside —
— we cut to a remote airfield in MALDOVINIA, where a combat drone circles overhead and weapons of war, tied up on pallets, are being unloaded from the cavernous bowels of a cargo plane. This is being monitored in real-time on a wall-sized screen in the St. Michael conference room of a posh London club named A Club for Patriots, where the conspirators, headed by BILLIONAIRE, discuss the progress of their operation, NORTHSTAR.
2. Inciting Incident: Back in his own flat, REPORTER examines the contents of the fat envelope: Blurry photos of an important-looking man in evening wear, an imposing building, and some bank statements. A few reverse-image searches, and in no time at all, he has identified BILLIONAIRE and his posh club in London, named A Club for Patriots. It’s a tip about a plot to start a war. His editor thinks a scoop like that could put their small magazine on the map. He sends REPORTER to London to check it out.
3. First Turning Point at end of ACT 1: REPORTER’s lame plan to snoop around BILLIONAIRE as his favorite waiter at The Club fails. BILLIONAIRE spots him near the St. Michael conference room and bans him from the floor. Now REPORTER needs to take more risk. He moves up the ladder of deception: He had to lie to get hired as a waiter, and now he makes and installs a listening device in the thermostat of the St. Michael conference room.
4. Mid-Point: REPORTER’s friend and ally, HACKER, is captured to be interrogated at a CIA safe house. The stakes are raised again.
5. Second Turning Point at end of ACT 2: REPORTER learns from HOSTESS that his missing friend and ally, HACKER, is at a CIA safe house, undergoing interrogation (euphemism for torture). REPORTER is horrified and blames himself for involving his friend in such a dangerous operation.
6. Crisis: REPORTER decides to rescue HACKER, from what is, in essence a government prison — illegal and extremely risky. HOSTESS tells him so, but he convinces her to help — they are a team now. Using tools and a plan made by him, REPORTER, HOSTESS, and her allies rescue HACKER from the CIA safe house, and take him to an undisclosed safe house.
7. Climax: Then, they conduct a major hacking operation (with HACKER participating via video-link) to divert the conspiracy’s funds and make it look like one of the conspirators did it. BILLIONAIRE discovers NORTHSTAR funds are missing. It looks like his second-in-command, ENERGY MOGUL, stole them. He terminates NORTHSTAR and has ENERGY MOGUL, killed by ASSASSIN.
8. Resolution: BILLIONAIRE goes into clean-up mode in order to protect his reputation and the rest of his plans. He calls REPORTER’s editor and tells him he’ll give an exclusive interview to REPORTER. During the interview, BILLIONAIRE explains what is needed to defend the Western way of life, tries to find out how much REPORTER knows, and blames it all on ENERGY MOGUL. REPORTER’s questions are mild and respectful. But there is change in the air. The balance of power between the two has shifted. After REPORTER leaves, BILLIONAIRE looks unsettled. He continues to stare, like a malign bird of prey, at REPORTER’s empty chair.
REPORTER is seen in a restaurant, smiling and having a good time with HOSTESS, the female lead. His heart has healed!
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Action Lesson 5: Create Your ACTION Track
ASSIGNMENT
BG’s Action Track!
What I learned doing this assignment: Coming up with types of events and the purposes behind them is helping me flesh out my ideas.
3. Sequence the action scenes to deliver your story. Give us your list of action scenes and the purpose of each scene.
A CLUB FOR PATRIOTS
WEAPONS: Weapons of war being unloaded from a cargo plane at a remote airport in MALDOVINIA.
Purpose: Creates the mystery of who they are for and for what purpose.BREAK IN: REPORTER climbs in through an open window and plants a listening device in the thermostat of the St. Michael conference room.
Purpose: Insight into Hero. He’s taking more risks, moving up the ladder of deception.DISCOVERY: REPORTER learns about the aims of the conspiracy via the listening device he planted. He’s horrified.
Purpose: Insight into Hero. Now, he’s pissed off enough to want to stop them. He’s coming out of his funk!THE ORDER: The CIA Deputy Director says, “Getting an American reporter would create legal issues. No such impediment to the abduction of a foreigner for national security purposes! I want HACKER in the safe house by tomorrow!”
Purpose: Insight into the Villain’s enablers. The Villain is not just the NORTHSTAR conspiracy. Major intelligence agencies support it! Increases the stakes for REPORTER.ABDUCTION: REPORTER’s friend and ally, HACKER, is captured and interrogated (euphemism for tortured) at a CIA safe house.
Purpose: Insight into the rotten nature of Villain’s enablers. Increases the stakes for REPORTER.DISCOVERY: REPORTER discovers that his friend HACKER is missing, his flat has been ransacked and all his electronic equipment is missing.
Purpose: Gives us a glimpse into his growing skills — his tools, sneaking around at night, climbing up to HACKER’s flat, jimmying open a window…FIGHT: REPORTER fights off ASSASSIN, a professional hitman.
Purpose: Gives us another glimpse into his skills — No training in fighting or weapons. Not his specialty. He’s a mechanical engineer-turned-reporter. Yet he can improvise and uses his engineering knowledge to topple him down.SURVEILLANCE and DISCOVERY: REPORTER tails HOSTESS and catches her in the act of communicating with her control. She’s a German spy!
Purpose: Gives us two people who need each other.TORTURE: At the CIA safe house, Hacker has been interrogated, he’s in bad shape, and he insists he didn’t hack or send any hacked materials to REPORTER. STATION CHIEF does not believe. She tells DOCTOR to keep on trying.
Purpose: Insight into the rotten nature of Villain’s enablers. Increases the stakes for REPORTER.ESCAPE: His friend’s disappearance has caused REPORTER to realize he needs a new plan. He brainstorms and decides staying as a waiter at The Club is no longer safe or useful. He tenders his resignation and moves in the night to another cheap hotel.
Purpose: Insight into Hero. He learns, adapts, makes new plans.BATTLE AT THE SAFE HOUSE: Using tools and a plan made by him, REPORTER, HOSTESS, and her allies rescue HACKER from the CIA safe house, and take him to an undisclosed safe house.
Purpose: Insight into Hero: REPORTER will take on great risk to rescue a friend! Plus, cool weapons and fight scenes to watch;))AMBUSH: ASSASSIN attacks REPORTER again, this time with a taser. HOSTESS, who is secretly following him to protect him, flies out of the shadows and flattens ASSASSIN! REPORTER asks her not to kill him!
Purpose: Hero against Villain’s representatives. But now, he has a guardian angel — who can fight and uses her weight as a weapon! Also creates intrigue: Is it just that REPORTER doesn’t want to kill anybody, or does he have a longer term plan that will need ASSASSIN’s services?STOPS A KILLING: REPORTER stops HOSTESS from crushing ASSASSIN’s rib cage and lungs.
Purpose: Insight into Hero. REPORTER does not want to kill bad guys, he’d rather they kill each other.HIT: BILLIONAIRE cancels ASSASSIN’s contract with ENERGY MOGUL regarding REPORTER, and instead, hires ASSASSIN to kill ENERGY MOGUL, his second-in-command.
Purpose: The Villain needs to do cleanup in order to protect his reputation and the rest of his plans. He’s not done yet! -
Action Lesson 4: Create Your Villain Track
ASSIGNMENT:
BG’s Villain Track!
What I learned doing this assignment: I’m still trying to figure out how to raise the body-count, especially since my hero wants to save people and not kill anybody!
Ask the Villain Track questions to discover your Villain’s plan, decisions, and actions. Include labels with each step of their plan. Develop your own set of labels, but make sure you clearly show decisions, plans, and actions your Villain takes.
TITLE: A CLUB FOR PATRIOTS
HERO: REPORTER
VILLAIN: BILLIONAIRE
THE PLAN: The Villain’s plan is in place before the movie starts and the Hero wanders into that plan, not knowing what he is getting into.
It is a conspiracy, codenamed NORTHSTAR, to pump weapons and militants into MALDOVINIA, where rebels are battling government forces. The conspirators want to turn the protracted insurgency into a full-blown land war in the middle of Europe and disrupt piped natural gas supply, so that they can sell expensive LNG (Liquefied Natural Gas) to Europeans.
The conspiracy is led by BILLIONAIRE, a man of immense wealth, who uses his media empire as a weapon in his crusade to fight off any challenge to the Western-led world order. His second-in-command is ENERGY MOGUL, another billionaire. He wants Germans to stop buying cheap, piped natural gas and buy, instead, his five-times more expensive LNG.
WEAPONS: A shipment of weapons is being unloaded from a cargo plane at a remote airfield in Maldovinia.
CONSPIRATORS’ MEETING: The conspirators watch this in real-time on a wall-size screen in the St. Michael conference room of the posh London club named A Club for Patriots. They discuss the progress of operation NORTHSTAR.
THE TIP: REPORTER receives a mysterious envelope containing blurry photos of BILLIONAIRE, the club and some bank statements.
BILLIONAIRE MEETS REPORTER: Sent to investigate the tip, REPORTER gets a job as waiter at the Club. BILLIONAIRE takes a shine to him.
CAUGHT SNOOPING: BILLIONAIRE spots him near the St. Michael conference room and bans him from the floor. REPORTER resorts to installing a jerry-rigged listening device into the thermostat in the St. Michael conference room.
CONSPIRATORS’ SHOUTING MATCH: The conspirators have a heated discussion about the funding of operation NORTHSTAR. REPORTER, in his car, listens via his listening device and learns about the conspiracy.
CAUGHT SPEAKING: Keyword monitoring programs of NSA latch onto the word NORTHSTAR in a conversation between REPORTER and his editor, and CIA discovers that the press is onto NORTHSTAR, which they support. They alert MI6. MI6 sends agents to scan the St. Michael conference room.
TWIST: No bugs are found! BILLIONAIRE is relieved. ENERGY MOGUL still thinks REPORTER is involved somehow.
ABDUCTION: REPORTER’s friend and ally, HACKER, is captured and is being interrogated in a CIA safe house.
ASSASSIN ATTACKS: ENERGY MOGUL, without authorization from BILLIONAIRE, hires a hitman, named ASSASSIN, who ambushes REPORTER. REPORTER tries to fight him off, finally pushing him off his center of gravity and toppling him down. While ASSASSIN is down, he kicks him unconscious.
TORTURE: At the CIA safe house, HACKER has been interrogated, he’s in bad shape, and he insists he didn’t hack or send any hacked materials to REPORTER. STATION CHIEF does not believe. She tells DOCTOR to keep on trying.
BATTLE AT THE SAFE HOUSE: Using tools and a plan made by him, REPORTER, HOSTESS, and her allies rescue HACKER from the CIA safe house, and take him to an undisclosed safe house.
ASSASSIN ATTACKS AGAIN: On the way to his new hotel, where he’s hiding out, REPORTER is again attacked by ASSASSIN, wielding a taser this time. HOSTESS jumps out of the shadows and flattens him. REPORTER asks her not to kill him.
FOLLOW THE MONEY: REPORTER, HOSTESS and allies make a plan to put NORTHSTAR out of business.
ATTACKED: BILLIONAIRE discovers NORTHSTAR funds are missing. It looks like ENERGY MOGUL stole them.
FALLING OUT AMONG THIEVES: BILLIONAIRE terminates the plot and has his second-in-command, ENERGY MOGUL, killed by ASSASSIN.
CLEANUP MODE: BILLIONAIRE calls REPORTER’s editor and tells him he’ll give an exclusive interview to REPORTER.
FITTING ENDING: During the interview, BILLIONAIRE explains what is needed to defend the Western way of life, tries to find out how much REPORTER knows, and blames it all on ENERGY MOGUL. REPORTER’s questions are mild and respectful. But there is change in the air. The balance of power between the two has shifted. After REPORTER leaves, BILLIONAIRE looks unsettled. He continues to stare, like a malign bird of prey, at REPORTER’s empty chair.
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Action Lesson 3: Creating the Mission Track
ASSIGNMENT
BG’s Hero’s Mission Track!
What I learned doing this assignment: I need to come up with more assassins, a higher body count, and maybe even a car chase;))
1. Ask the Mission Track questions to discover your Hero’s mission.
A. What is it about this Hero that will have them go straight into the face of the overwhelming odds?
• Reporter gets pissed off that powerful people are planning to instigate a war in order to benefit themselves and decides to get involved.B. What is the mission that would be an impossible goal?
• One guy against billionaires, media and intelligence agenciesC. What strong internal and external motivation could drive the hero?
• Internal Motivation: Reporter starts with a broken heart. As he finds out more, he starts coming out of his funk and his intentions change. His mission becomes: To do what he can. This is also his healing process.
• External Motivation: Assassins and agents are going to kill him!D. Imagine that mission playing out across a story. What could naturally happen if this hero went on this mission against this villain?
• Getting close to the subject, searching for information, getting caught, fighting assassins and agents, getting allies, rescuing friends, tricking the conspirators and agents, and the possibility of injuries or death.2. Use the Basic Mission Steps to outline the mission.
NOTE: You can also use any of these steps: Twist, escape, search, discovery, hide out, attacking back, apparent success or defeat.
Clear Mission:
REPORTER’S CLEAR MISSION: To stop a conspiracy to start a war… before assassins and agents kill him!Motivation:
MOTIVATION FOR THE MISSION: REPORTER gets pissed off that powerful people are planning to instigate a war in order to benefit themselves and decides to get involved1. Inciting Incident:
INCITING INCIDENT: REPORTER is sent by his editor to check out a tip about a plot to start a war.2. First Action:
FIRST ACTION: When REPORTER first arrives, his intention is to get a scoop for his paper. He gets hired as waiter by HOSTESS, who works at The Club, which, according to the tip, serves as headquarters for the conspiracy.3. Obstacle:
OBSTACLE: REPORTER is spotted near the St. Michael conference room and gets banned from the floor.4. Escalation:
ESCALATION: He makes a jerry-rigged listening device, installs it into the thermostat in the St. Michael conference room.DISCOVERY: He listens in and discovers that the conspirators are planning an operation codenamed NORTHSTAR that will pump in weapons and militants into MALDOVINIA where separatists are battling government forces. The conspirators’ goal is to turn the protracted insurgency into a full-blown land war in the middle of Europe and disrupt piped natural gas supply, so that they can sell their expensive LNG (Liquefied Natural Gas) to Europeans.
NEW PLAN: REPORTER gets pissed off that powerful people are planning to instigate a war in order to benefit themselves and decides to get involved. He calls his editor to report, but makes the mistake of using the word NORTHSTAR during the call.
5. Overwhelming Odds:
OVERWHELMING ODDS: Keyword monitoring programs of NSA latch onto the word and CIA discovers that the press is onto NORTHSTAR, which they support. They alert MI6. MI6 sends agents to scan the St. Michael conference room.TWIST: No bugs are found! REPORTER is puzzled. Unbeknownst to him, HOSTESS goes to her car to make a call and is revealed to be a German agent. She remotely plants fake information about REPORTER’s friend and ally, HACKER, to deflect CIA’s attention away from REPORTER.
APPARENT DEFEAT: HACKER is not answering REPORTER’s calls. Unbeknownst to REPORTER, he has been captured and is being interrogated in a CIA safe house.
AMBUSHED: On the way back to his hotel from HACKER’s ransacked apartment, he’s ambushed by ASSASSIN, sent by one of the billionaires. REPORTER tries to fight him off, finally pushing him off his center of gravity and toppling him down. While ASSASSIN is down, he kicks him unconscious.
6. New Plan:
TWIST: REPORTER follows HOSTESS to her car and discovers she is a German agent. She tells him they are working for the same goal: to stop a war. She tells him there are many Germans opposed to paying high energy prices to accommodate Western geopolitical ambitions. It was she who sent him the tip about the conspiracy and saved him by removing his listening device. She offers to help him find HACKER.APPARENT SUCCESS: Using tools and a plan made by him, REPORTER, HOSTESS, and her allies rescue HACKER from the CIA safe house, and take him to an undisclosed safe house.
AMBUSHED AGAIN: On the way to his new hotel, where he’s hiding out, REPORTER is again attacked by ASSASSIN, wielding a taser this time. HOSTESS jumps out of the shadows and flattens him. REPORTER asks her not to kill him.
TWIST: REPORTER asks HOSTESS to help him put NORTHSTAR out of business. She agrees and arranges HACKER’s participation in planning via video-link from the undisclosed safe house.
7. Full out Attack:
FULL OUT ATTACK: REPORTER and allies conduct a major hacking operation to divert the conspiracy’s funds and make it look like one of the conspirators did it.8. Success:
SUCCESS: Lead conspirator terminates the plot and has his second-in-command killed by ASSASSIN. REPORTER is seen in a restaurant, smiling and having a good time with HOSTESS, the female lead. His heart has healed! -
Action Lesson 2: Heroes and Villains That Sell the Roles!
ASSIGNMENT
BG’s Hero and Villain!
What I learned doing this assignment: I organized my ideas according to the conventions of the ACTION genre, and now, I’m wondering how I’m going to be able to invent all those set pieces.
Concept: A reporter with a broken heart and a beautiful German spy try to stop a group of billionaires who are planning to start a war to gain control of the European energy market.
Hero Morally Right: Preventing war and liberating humanity from warmongers.
Villain Morally Wrong: Promoting and starting wars to gain control of resources. Warmongers are trying to start a war. Afraid of the reporter, they send assassins and agents after him.
Hero
A. Unique Skill Set: Reporter is an engineer by training. He’s a fast learner, can make unique devices, has knowledge of computers. Athletic.
B. Motivation: Reporter realizes that war will hurt many people and that he must keep on fighting. He wants to save lives and stop bad guys.
C. Secret or Wound: A bad breakup with the love of his life has drained his joy of living. He doesn’t want to talk about it.Villain
A. Unbeatable: Conspirators have money, control of media, and assistance from CIA and MI6.
B. Plan/Goal: To start a war by pumping weapons and militants into a powder keg and disrupt the supply of cheap pipeline gas, so that they can sell their expensive LNG (Liquefied Natural Gas) .
C. What they lose if Hero survives: Exposure, loss of face, maybe even death. The conspiracy will be exposed and the billionaires’ humanitarian work will be shown to be a cover for their personal gain.Impossible Mission
A. Puts Hero in Action: Reporter is sent to check out a tip about a conspiracy to start a war. He sneaks around, fights assassins and agents, and makes unique weapons.
B. Demands They Go Beyond Their Best: Reporter must get over his broken heart, learn new things, and devise new tools to fight the conspirators.
C. Destroy the Villain: Reporter forces the conspirators to terminate their plot and tricks them into killing each other. -
Action Lesson 1: Creating Your Action Concept
ASSIGNMENT
BG’s Conventions!
What I learned doing this assignment: This assignment helped me organize my ideas according to the conventions of the ACTION genre.
2. Brainstorm your concept and tell us the concept and conventions.
Concept: A reporter with a broken heart and a beautiful German spy try to stop a group of billionaires who are planning to start a war to gain control of the European energy market.
Conventions:
Hero: An engineer-turned-reporter with a broken heart.
Mission: To investigate a conspiracy to start a war… and stop it before assassins and agents kill him.
Demand for Action: If he doesn’t stop the conspiracy, war will break out and people will die.
Antagonist: Vicious billionaire who wants to start a war for his personal benefit and uses his media empire to convince the public that war is necessary to protect their way of life.
Escalating Action: Sneaking around to investigate turns into fighting off assassins and agents, a high-risk rescue operation, and a high-risk hacking operation.
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Hello, fellow scribes! I’m BG from Massachusetts.
I have written three screenplays and I’m working on my fourth. It is a geopolitical thriller. I’m taking this course so that I can jazz it up with some action scenes;))
Something strange or unusual about me? For normal people, the more you do something, the easier it gets. Unfortunately, for me, it’s the reverse. I don’t know why I’m so stuck with this one. I’m really overthinking and overworking it.
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B.G. Erengil
I agree to the terms of this Release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.