[Beth Bonness]

Hey there – ready to exchange: beth@hawthorneguesthouse.com (I know need to get a better email :))

[Beth Bonness]

Beth Bonness’ Outline

What I learned doing this assignment was I could get lost in trying to simplify and second guess all the good layering work I’d done up to this point by overworking the clay. Plus, the layers seemed more like notes going into the writing and where exactly they’ll be placed will happen during the writing, and the examples given weren’t really like what the final outline looks like — so….go for it!

Title: Library

Genre: Paranormal Thriller
Logline: Determined to ward off the ghost of her father, a psychic collects secrets from three stranded couples for her thought library at a secluded lodge, but will that be enough?

Act 1
INT. LODGE BEDROOM #1 – NIGHT (DREAM)
OPENING/PSYCHIC BEGINNING: Psychic’s Ghost Father searches for her while she sleeps to suck all her energy. She keeps him at bay by collecting other people’s thoughts (secrets are best because they are so dense) and hides under a protective thought blanket until her Ghost Father gives up and leaves this multiverse to search another. He holds a red child’s ball, the same one in a picture of them when she was young.
PSYCHIC MOTIVATION WANT/NEED & WOUND: collect secrets from strangers/prove herself to her dead psychic father she’s a capable psychic, but doesn’t want him to take all her life energy to prove it.
SCHEME SURFACE/SHIFT IN MEANING SURFACE: lots of psychic paraphernalia including little thought jars of different colored liquids.

EXT./INT. LODGE ENTRANCE/RECEPTION – DAY
Psychic welcomes three couples as they check-in to a secluded lodge: a Trans Couple to plan their wedding, Biracial Sisters for their parents’ funeral, and a forgetful Retired Couple on a romantic getaway. Psychic asks leading questions to start uncovering their secrets.
HIDDEN OPERATION SURFACE/UNIQUE SUB-WORLD SURFACE: lodge with psychic specialty gift shop.
HOPE: Couples are hopeful for a weekend away.
TRANSCOUPLE BEGINNING/1 THING ANOTHER SURFACE/INTRIGUE LAYERS SURFACE: On a romantic get away to work out their wedding plans; she wants a big wedding, he wants to elope.
TRANSMAN MOTIVATION WANT/NEED: convince fiancée to elope/approval from his parents on transition.
TRANSMAN SECRET/WOUND: hasn’t told his parents/teased as a child for being a tomboy by black girl.
TRANSWOMAN MOTIVATION WANT/NEED: big wedding/validation of relationship.
TRANSWOMAN SECRET/WOUND: poker player w/debts/mother’s an alcoholic & she started sneaking alcohol as a teenager when beat up by boys at school when caught wearing girl’s clothes.
SISTERS BEGINNING/HIDDEN HISTORY, INTRIGUE & HIDDEN RELATIONSHIP SURFACE: attending their poly parents’ funeral; Black Sister’s a quantum physics who despite being pissed at her racist white father, wants to keep poly relationship secret from her newly discovered Christian sister; White Sister’s a personal chef and very judgmental about alternative lifestyles, knows she has a sister who is an Atheist and wants to save her from hell.
BLACK SISTER MOTIVATION WANT/NEED: doesn’t want to demean dead parents at funeral/know both parents loved her.
BLACK SISTER SECRET/WOUND/SUBTEXT: believes white father is racist because he didn’t share she had a white sister/thinks father is ashamed of her/thinks all white people are racist.
WHITE SISTER MOTIVATION WANT/NEED: memorable Christian funeral for parents/save Atheist sister.
WHITE SISTER WOUND/SECRET: felt left out because her grandparents baptized her, but her parents are Atheists/knows her parents are good people, but fears they are going to hell because they are Atheists.
RETIRED COUPLE BEGINNING/HIDDEN CHARACTER HISTORY SURFACE/DEEPER MEANING SURFACE: looking forward to a romantic weekend away from daily stresses, afraid their spouse will divorce them when they discover their early Alzheimer’s. She’s was a computer scientist. He’s a Jungian psychologist and kept his first marriage and son a secret. They’ve been married for 40 years. He explains the nature of negative thoughts to Transman who is his patient, but keeps the relationship confidential.
HUSBAND MOTIVATION WANT/NEED & SECRET: weekend away with wife/rest to stop Alzheimer’s.
HUSBAND WOUND: first marriage ended in annulment, before he found out she was pregnant, never met his son; never forgave himself and never told his current wife of 40 years.
WIFE MOTIVATION WANT/NEED & SECRET: weekend away with husband/needs to know she’s not losing it.
WIFE WOUND: 1st husband abandoned her.
HOPE: Black Sister engages in planning celebration of parents with White Sister.

INT. LODGE HALLWAY/GREAT ROOM – DAY
Tensions build between couples as a storm brews and they try to keep ther secrets private.
TRANSWOMAN TP #1: Gets call from her bookie about debts and commits to secretly use wedding savings as long as she can have a spot at the table at tomorrow’s game. She’ll sneak out after her fiancé falls asleep.
TRANSMAN TP #1: gets a call and pretends he’s still be a woman talking about a a girls weekend; his fiancée overhears.
TRANSWOMAN MIDPOINT: hears fiancé on call and berates him for lying while she’s lying too.
SISTERS TP #1/HIDDEN HISTORY BENEATH: White Sister unknowingly accepts invitation for a poly family get together to grieve. Parents exs aren’t exs.
INCITING INCIDENT/TRAP TO DRAW PREY SURFACE/TRAPPED/PRISONER: An epic storm strands the Couples in the lodge, cutting power and contact with outside world.
HOPE: Power will come back shortly.
PSYCHIC TP #1: The Psychic has more time to collect their secrets.

EXT. LODGE GARAGE – DAY
Black Sister and Retired Husband go hunting for a way out.
HOPE: Find old generator to bring temporary power up.
RESTRICTING: Doesn’t work so collect lanterns and candles.

INT. LODGE BEDROOMS & UPSTAIRS HALLWAY – DAY
Couples unpack and set up lanterns as the wind continues to howl.
CLAUSTROPHOBIC: Not a lot of space for people to have privacy except their rooms.

INT. LIBRARY – DAY
Couples try to make the best of it and play games to pass the time.
WIFE HIDDEN PLAN BENEATH: Wife suggests an ice breaker of a memory game – something about fathers.
FORCED TO DEAL WITH EACH OTHER: Couples start learning things about each other making it difficult to be civil (sexist, racist, agist, transfobic), while Transman entertains with magic tricks, some play poker as Transwoman clearly loves bluffing.
RETIRED COUPLE TP #1: they both forget something important: him their anniversary, her where she worked.
MIND GAMES: Psychic does Tarot readings to pass the time and queue up the secrets.

INT. LODGE BEDROOM #1 – NIGHT (DREAM)
STORY TURNING POINT #1: During another nightmare, the Black sister can’t sleep, sees a red ball rolling down the hallway and follows, hearing voices in the Psychic’s bedroom. She sees the Ghost Father with the insomniac Retired Wife right behind. He disappears with the red ball.

Act 2
INT. LODGE GREAT ROOM – DAY
REACTION: The Psychic admits the ghost is her father, they used to play catch with the red ball, but as her psychic skills grew over time, all he wanted was her energy, not her — the Black Sister explains quantum ghost energy and multiverses to the group – the father’s searching for his daughter in various multiverses including this one.
THE PLAN/MIND GAMES: The Psychic tells them everything is under control and uses Tarot sessions hoping to distract them and collect their thoughts.
HOPE: The couples welcome the distraction.
STORY MIDPOINT TURNING POINT #2/SCHEME BENEATH/INTRIGUE BENEATH/HIDDEN OPERATION BENEATH/UNIQUE SUB-WORLD REVEAL #1: During a Tarot session, the Psychic exposes the Transman’s secret of not telling his parents he’s engaged, pissing his fiancée off and creeping everyone else out.
PSYCHIC MIDPOINT TP#2: Psychic’s blue glasses can see thought energy like the glasses in National Treasure. She captured secrets into vials under the table. Tilts her head and breathes in deeply capturing the hidden thought, then exhales quietly into a vial on her lap. The vial turns color of the chakra energy: red: passion/anger, orange: sexuality, yellow: self-confidence, green: love, blue: communication, indigo: intuition, violet: peace.
TRANSMAN MIDPOINT/1 THING ANOTHER & INTRIGUE BENEATH: He acknowledges not letting his parents know of transition.
TRIGGERING EACH OTHER: Psychic reveals Transman hasn’t told his parents about his engagement.
HOPE: Engaged Man suggests they elope to avoid disapproving parents
NOT SURE WHO THE REAL THREAT IS: Partner’s deception or the Psychic for revealing it?

INT. BEDROOM #1 – NIGHT (DREAM)
PSYCHIC TP #2: Same nightmare as before, this time menacing father only inches away from Psychic’s face. The protective blanket of thoughts aren’t working; his eyes see her through holes in the blanket. She bolts awake. Throwing the red ball through the closet where it disappers. The guests come running and the Ghost Father disappears into the closet too.

Act 3
INT. LODGE GREAT ROOM – DAY
Couples discuss walking twenty miles through the storm damage for help. Psychic serves up thought-spiked mid-breakfast cocktails.
SCHEME BENEATH/SHIFT IN MEANING BENEATH/UNIQUE SUB-WORLD BENEATH/PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUE: The Psychic serves up cocktails with a sampling of ingredients from her thought library/thought-infused liqueurs to make everyone feel more comfortable; the alcohol starts to relax everyone. As they let their guards down, the Psychic discovers and captures more secrets.
RETHINK EVERYTHING NEW PLAN/SHIFT IN MEANING REVEAL/HIDDEN OPERATION BENEATH: The Psychic needs stronger secrets. She spikes drinks to put thoughts of staying vs trying to weather the storm in drinks — it’ll be a week before the roads clear and why not enjoy your time at the lodge getting to know one another, playing down her Tarot readings.

EXT. LODGE – DAY
The Couples explore the property looking for more ways out (vehicles, generators).

INT. LODGE GREAT ROOM- NIGHT
Psychic continues to collect secrets as the couples get more and more anxious exposing more secret thoughts.
PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUE: Psychic adds truth serum to cocktails.
HOPE: Psychic hopes the alcohol will make it easier to capture more secrets.
RETIRED COUPLE DILEMMA: tell the truth about Alzheimer’s and lose spouse through divorce or because Alzheimer’s will take all their memories and they’ll lose each other anyway.
HUSBAND TP #2: forgets his wife’s name; she thinks he wants to go back to his 1st wife.
WIFE TP #2: she doesn’t recognize her husband coming down for drinks.
TRANSWOMAN TP #2/DILEMMA: Wants a big wedding; but didn’t want the bookie to hurt her if she didn’t pay so used their wedding fund money and now can’t get to the big game.
TRANSMAN TP #2/DILEMMA/1 THING ANOTHER BENEATH: Wants to elope because he doesn’t want to tell parents, but his fiancée threats to call it off if she can’t have a big wedding.
FORCED TO DEAL WITH EACH OTHER: Trans Couple argues over big wedding vs eloping.
BLACK SISTER MIDPOINT/DILEMMA/HIDDEN HISTORY REVEAL/DEEPER MEANING RENEATH/UNIQUE SUB-WORLD REVEAL #2: If Black Sister tells her White Sister she approves she’ll lose her sister after already losing her parents vs continue to lie to her sister. Parent’s exs aren’t exs, they’re part of the poly family. Psychic spikes White Sister’s cocktail with poly parents secret.
WHITE SISTER MIDPOINT/DILEMMA/HIDDEN RELATIONSHIP BENEATH: says she figured out that her parents were poly, hoped if she ignored it and prayed hard enough, it would go away. Balancing the Christian value of honoring your parents (5th commandment) vs honoring her poly parents.
PSYCHIC INTRIGUE: Jungian psychologist suspects the Psychic is purposefully exposing people’s private thoughts.
PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES: While the Psychic is restocking, Black Sister explains thoughts as waves versus particles and how thoughts have agency. Psychic can’t read thoughts before they become chosen — keep thoughts hidden by not chosing one, just keep brainstorming more possibilities so nothing to read or grab onto.
THREAT: Psychic serves drinks to Sisters and White Sister blurts out her father was racist.
BLACK SISTER TP #2: hoped to convince parents to not share poly relationship since White Sister would be devastated; but they died first. Admits her white father was a racist.
WHITE SISTER TP #2: unbeknownst to parents was going to reach out to Black Sister to convince her poly was wrong and help make her case, but her parents died first.
HOPE: Retired Wife shares stories of marriage conflicts with engaged Trans Couple, still together after 40 years.
RETIRED COUPLE MIDPOINT/HIDDEN PLAN BENEATH & REVEAL/HIDDEN CHARACTER BENEATH/UNIQUE SUB-WORLD REVEAL #3: Psychic spikes Wife’s cocktail with 1st wife’s name, Husband’s cocktail with memory aid notes. They both deny. Wife uses gaming for memory tricks.
TRANSMAN 3RD ACT CLIMAX/INTRIGUE REVEAL: When the power comes on briefly, his fiancée answers phone call of future mother-in-law and introduces herself as the fiancée — Mom thinks Transman is a lesbian; Transwoman invites them to come. His parents didn’t know he was engaged either.
TRANSWOMAN 3RD ACT CLIMAX/INTRIGUE BENEATH: Transman picks up Transwoman’s phone with text flashing: you’re late for the $50 G game.
FEAR: Power goes back out.
SISTERS 3RD ACT CLIMAX/HIDDEN RELATIONSHIP REVEAL: fight over forgiveness vs acceptance: Atheist Black Sister and Christian White Sister with support from Transwoman.
HUSBAND 3RD ACT CLIMAX/HIDDEN CHARACTER BENEATH: wife finds text from 1st wife/son.
WIFE 3RD ACT CLIMAX: their kids get through — phone rings when power comes back on briefly — some else picks up (Psychic ?) says it’s your daughter — they both have blank expressions like who is that?
LEFT ALONE: Black Sister excuses herself to prevent further slips.
HOPE: Black Sister discovers a hidden door in the Psychic’s library filled with viles of secrets from previous guests and some truth serem.
PSYCHIC DILEMMA: Restocking thought vials to protect Psychic from her father, but doesn’t want to be psychic and hurt people she’s come to respect vs not taking their thoughts and exposing herself to her father’s wrath in this multiverse.
STORY/PSYCHIC 3RD ACT CLIMAX: More drink-spiking and stealing thoughts. Retired Couple losing memories of their relationship to save Psychic, he’s the same age as her father.

INT. BEDROOM #1 – NIGHT (DREAM)
STORY TURNING POINT #3: Exhausted, the Psychic falls into a deep sleep after the Jungian Psychologist put sleep meds in her nightcap. The thought blanket falls off .Her Ghost Father starts sucking her life energy. She wakes everyone up with her screams. Ghost Father leaves and Black Sister grabs the red ball.

Act 4
INT. GREAT ROOM – NIGHT
FINAL PLAN: Psychic decides to confront her father in the nightmare; couples want to help.
FORCED TO DEAL WITH EACH OTHER/CONSPIRACY: Retired Couple suggests they all work together. Jungian Psychologist explains Lucid Dreaming and Meeting Dreams with multiple people entering dream.
PERSON ON EDGE: The White Sister suggests everyone take a break.
HOPE: Retired Couples asks Psychic if there’s enough for food for a nice relaxed dinner.
HOPE: Black Sister stole some truth serum to place in Psychic’s drink when they reconvene to understand her motives and stop her from ruining their relationships.
HUSBAND HIDDEN CHARACTER REVEAL: drinking he calls his Wife by his 1st wife’s name.

INT. BEDROOM #1/OTHER BEDROOMS – NIGHT (DREAM)
CLIMAX: The Psychic confronts/forgives her Ghost Father in a lucid dream with the help of the Couples asleep in their bedrooms. They’re ready for the Ghost Father who comes when Psychic falls asleep with the red ball. The Couples are playing games/watching the magician’s tricks — which the Ghost Father is drawn toward. They all watch the red ball move around the room hovering over the floor. The Couples stand behind the standing Psychic, who draws the red ball to one hand and holds out her other hand to her Ghost Father. A powerful gust of wind blows the window open.

INT. BEDROOMS, HALLWAY & GREAT ROOM – NIGHT
The couples wake up and work their way downstairs in dream stupors replaying what just happened and hits the bar for a stiff drink.
RESOLUTION/ SCHEME REVEAL/HIDDEN OPERATION REVEAL/DEEPER MEANING REVEAL/MIND GAMES/DEATH: Everyone starts exposing their secrets as the electricity comes back on and there’s a knock a the door — the real proprietor apologies profusely for being stranded before the storm and not able to greet them. The Psychic has disappeared. When asked about her, the Proprietor points to a portrait behind the bar showing she’s been dead for decades. The Black Sister knows she gone with her father to a different multiverse.
PSYCHIC END: People have become new friends who wanted to help protect Psychic from her father, but she’s a ghost too.
TRANSCOUPLE END/1 THING ANOTHER REVEAL: they decide to elope; it’s more important to be together with new friends who support them.
SISTERS END: both sisters know about parents and accept they disagree, but don’t want to lose each other.
RETIRED COUPLE END: he comes clean about 1st wife and son; they both know they have Alzheimer’s and strategize how to help each other remember.
TRAP TO DRAW PREY REVEAL: searching for supplies someone finds the generator in the “off’ position with an old dirty red ball resting against the generator.

Solve These:
1 Are the reveals of secrets in the best order?
2 Is there enough of main conflict? Heartbeat of father as ghost haunting needing to be present more?
3 Does someone have to die? If so who?

• This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by  Beth Bonness.
• This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by  Beth Bonness.

[Beth Bonness]

Subject line: Beth Bonness’ Writes Great Hope/Fear!

What I learned doing this assignment is…I know there’ll be time to go back and weave in all the layers I’ve worked on, but when I saw the Full Example, I started using that format…then stopped and thought wait for the next lesson….

Act 1

HOPE: Couples are hopeful for a weekend away: Engaged Trans Couple: plan their wedding; Bi-Racial Sisters: closure after their parents death; Retired Couple: romantic getaway

TRAPPED / PRISONER: Storm strands everyone

HOPE: Power will come back shortly.

CLAUSTROPHOBIC: Not a lot of space for people to have privacy except their rooms.

HOPE: Find old generator to bring temporary power up.

FORCED TO DEAL WITH EACH OTHER: Couples start learning things about each other making it difficult to be civil.

MIND GAMES: Psychic offers to do Tarot readings to pass the time.

HOPE: The couples welcome the distraction.

TRIGGERING EACH OTHER: Psychic reveals Engaged Man hasn’t told his parents about his engagement.

HOPE: Engaged Man suggests they elope because to avoid disapproving parents

NOT SURE WHO THE REAL THREAT IS: Partner’s deception or the Psychic for revealing it?

HOPE: Another Tarot Reading with Sisters.

PERSON ON EDGE: White sister learns her parents are polyamorous.

HOPE: Another Tarot Reading with Retired Couple.

WHAT’S THE CHARACTER AFRAID OF?

Retired Husband doesn’t want his wife to know he was married before.

Act 2

HOPE: There’s plenty of food and drinks for at least a week. They won’t starve or run out of water.

FORCED TO DEAL WITH EACH OTHER: Engaged couple argues over big wedding vs eloping.

HOPE: Black Sister engages in planning celebration of parents with Sister.

PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUE: Psychic serves cocktails to everyone with secret ingredients from her stash.

HOPE: Retired Wife tells shares stories of marriage conflicts with Engaged Couple, still together after 40 years.

PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUE: Retired Husband, a Jungian psychologist, suspects the Psychic is drugging everyone.

Act 3

THREAT: Psychic serves drinks to Sisters and Black sister blurting out her father was racist.

PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUE: Retired Wife thinks Psychic is manipulating everyone’s thoughts.

HOPE: Retired Couple quietly lets rest of guests know what they suspect and not to drink

LEFT ALONE: Black Sister excuses herself to prevent further slips

HOPE: Black Sister finds a hidden door in the Psychic’s library filled with viles of secrets from previous guests and some truth serum.

Act 4

HOPE: Black Sister alerts the others about the secret viles.

PERSON ON EDGE: The White Sister suggests everyone take a break.

HOPE: Retired Couples asks Psychic if there’s enough for food for a nice relaxed dinner.

FORCED TO DEAL WITH EACH OTHER: Retired Couple suggests they all work together.

HOPE: Black Sister stole some truth serum to place in Psychic’s drink when they reconvene to understand her motives and stop her from ruining their relationships.

PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUE: Psychic spikes cocktails again.

MIND GAMES: Everyone starts exposing their secrets as the electricity comes back on and there’s a knock a the door — the real proprietor apologies profusely for being stranded before the storm and not able to greet them.

DEATH: The Psychic has disappeared. When asked about her, the Proprietor points to a portrait behind the bar showing she’s been dead for decades.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by  Beth Bonness.

[Beth Bonness]

Subject line: Beth Bonness’ Budget

What I learned doing this assignment is…using this checklist is a great way to identify obvious places to trim and expand.

MAIN VARIABLES

LOCATIONS: private lodge/large residence

Small Budget: small bed & breakfast on the coast that looks secluded

Quadrupled Budget: lodge on secluded island in Canada

CHARACTERS

Small Budget: reduce by a couple – could also reduce pages, tighten scenes

SPECIAL SETS: library with hidden door/room with thought vials

Small Budget: could use simple glass vials and simple panel which exposes hidden room

Quadrupled Budget: elaborate hidden library with intricate antique looking vials

SECONDARY VARIABLES

SONGS: suspenseful music

Quadrupled Budget: kickass thriller film score

WEATHER: epic storm

Small Budget: film after the storm or stock footage

Quadrupled Budget: film trees falling, power lines out

NIGHT TIME: some shots outside the lodge at night

Small Budget: reduce number of shots or keep inside

Quadrupled Budget: shots at night around the lodge estate

• This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by  Beth Bonness.

[Beth Bonness]

Subject line: Beth Bonness’ 4 Act Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is…practice with not getting caught up in too many details. I went back and forth between the psychic being the protagonist and discovered she was really the antoganist vs the storm.

Concept: an epic storm strands 3 couples at a secluded lodge owned by a psychic obsessed with adding their secret thoughts to her library.

Main Conflict: Trying to keep their secrets and escape from the lodge.

Act 1

Opening: 3 couples arrive at a secluded lodge for the weekend: an Engaged Couple, Sisters, and a Retired Couple.

Inciting Incident: An epic storm strands the couples in the lodge without any outside contact.

Turning Point: The Psychic reveals the Engaged Couple’s secrets during a Tarot session to pass the time, creeping everyone out.

Act 2

New plan: Psychic convinces everyone it’ll be a week before the roads clear and to enjoy their time at the lodge getting to know one another.

Plan in action: The Psychic serves up cocktails with a sampling of ingredients from her thought library to make everyone feel more comfortable.

Midpoint Turning Point: Retired husband is a Jungian psychologist and suspects the Psychic is drugging everyone.

Act 3

Rethink everything: Retired Wife thinks Psychic is manipulating everyone’s thoughts.

New plan: Retired couple wants to alert the other couples.

Turning Point: Sisters discover a hidden door in the Psychic’s library filled with viles of secrets from previous guests and some truth serem.

Act 4

Final plan: Couples request a relaxed dinner where they can spike the Psychic’s cocktail with the truth serum to understand her motives and try to figure out how to stop her from ruining their relationships.

Climax: The Psychic switches the cocktails, but the Engaged Couple sees and adds more to the Psychic’s cocktail when they distract her.

Resolution: Everyone starts exposing their secrets as the electricity comes back on and there’s a knock a the door — the real proprietor apologies profusely for being stranded before the storm and not able to greet them. The Psychic has disappeared. When asked about her, the Proprietor points to a portrait behind the bar showing she’s been dead for decades.

[Beth Bonness]

Subject line: Beth Bonness’ Delivering Multiple Layers!

What I learned doing this assignment is…the brainstorming process blends and is entangles plot & characters & setting; permutations on each other; threads repeated themselves.

1. Brainstorm potential plot layers.

Major scheme revealed

Surface: blind psychic owns specialty shop

Beneath: not blind

Beneath: collects thoughts no only psychic paraphernalia

Beneath: spikes cocktails w/other people’s thoughts

Reveal: after planting another’s thoughts in each couple, they burst private thought out saying “I don’t know why I said that” & person w/thought

Mystery revealed

Surface: blind psychic wants everyone to stay to get their thoughts when a storm strands them

Beneath: psychic isn’t blind

Reveal: spikes drinks to put thoughts of staying vs trying to weather the storm in each couples’ drinks

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Thought it was one thing, but it is another

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Surface: romantic getaway to plan big wedding

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Beneath: transgender man tries to convince transgender woman to elope

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Beneath: transgender man hasn’t told parents of transition

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Reveal: psychic spikes drinks to put thought of eloping in transgender woman’s drink

Major shift in Meaning

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Surface: physic paraphernalia — jars of potions from famous physics — replicas

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Beneath: thought infused liquors

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Beneath: thoughts of people there
<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Reveal: psychic spikes drinks to put thoughts of staying vs trying to weather the storm in each couples’ drinks

Hidden history

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Surface: biracial sisters parent’s w/ diff partners

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Beneath: poly exs aren’t exs

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Reveal: psychic spikes drinks to put thoughts of poly exs in biracial white sister’s drinks

Hidden plan

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Surface: Alzheimer’s wife uses gaming for fun memory tricks

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Beneath: she needs a device to help her remember so people don’t notice her early Alzheimer’s

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>R<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>eveal: psychic spikes husband’s drinks to put thoughts of gaming tricks by his wife to remember

2. Brainstorm potential character layers.

Secret identity

Surface: blind psychic owns specialty shop

Beneath: not blind
Beneath: collects thoughts no only psychic paraphernalia

Beneath: spikes cocktails w/other people’s thoughts

Reveal: after planting another’s thoughts in each couple, they burst private thought out saying “I don’t know why I said that” & person w/thought

Intrigue layers

Surface: Transgender couple planning their wedding

Beneath: transgender man hasn’t told parents of wedding

Beneath: transgender man hasn’t told parents of transition

Reveal: transgender woman sees email communication — or — psychedelic trip after drink “seeing” partner talking w/parents as if still male

Hidden relationships and conspiracies

Surface: Christian sister disapproves of transcouple

Beneath: trans woman Christian too & wants to help save atheist biracial sister

Beneath: atheist sister plants seeds w/transwoman to distract Christian sister for poly parent discovery

R<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>eveal: > spiked drink sees trans couple are one of parents?

Hidden Character history

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Surface: Alzheimer’s couple marraied 40 years on romantic weekend getaway

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Beneath: he’s been married before

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Beneath; he has a son from 1<sup style=”font-family: inherit;”>st</sup> married he doesn’t acknowledge and feels guilty every day

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Reveal: Alzheimer’s wife > drimk w/ca;ling his 1<sup style=”font-family: inherit;”>st</sup> wife’s name & sees his son (“drink’ seeing?)

3. Brainstorm potential location layers.

Hidden operation

Surface: psychic store frong; specialty shop

Beneath: tarot reachings by blind psychic

Beneath: reads minds & keeps thoughts

Beneath: psychic keeps thoughts

Beneath: psychic is able to manipulate thoughts

Reveal: > spiking drink celebrating electricity back on; truth cocktail; she’s not blind (shares thoughts with others)

Deeper meaning

Surface: thoughts are just thoughts; not actions

Beneath: thougthts have agency

Reveal: someone picks/orders cocktail w/thoughts they want:

Elope
Parents to not be poly
Keep 1^st wife/son a secret

Trap to draw prey

Surface: storm cut off power; stranded in a remote location

Beneath: cut generator when tree fell so everyone thinks power went out

Reveal: searching for supplies someone finds the generator in the “off” position

Unique sub-world

Surface: psychic specialty shop

Beneath: thoughts curated

Reveal: secrets are exposed: plan to elope so trans not exposed, plan to keep poly parents secret kept, plan to keep 1^st wife/son a secret, plan to keep Alzheimer’s disease a secret

[Beth Bonness]

Subject line: Beth Bonness’ Character Depth!

What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Using timed writing helped prevent over-thinking. Writing the answers long-hand first allowed my intuition more space.

Psychic

A specialty shop curator of thoughts longs to collect new thoughts.

Motivation:

want: keep everyone in the thought store to collect new thoughts
need: to replace her thoughts leading her psychic father to her <div>

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Secret: not blind

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Wound: hiding from her sexist <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>belittling psychic father

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Layers: escaped family, they believe she’s dead; she died in a fire–– she faked her own death to escape her fathers wrath; she can never be the boy he wanted

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Conflict: she wants people to stay, they want to leave

<div>

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Hidden Agenda: she lies, says no one is expected for a week to give her more time to collect their thoughts

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Intrigue: afraid of her father and the nightmares have started again meaning he’s getting closer, he wants her to come back & take care of him, he’s dying and it’s her duty

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Dilemma: she can’t be herself and keep herself secret because her father will find her

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Secret Identity: not a local, she’s in hiding, self-imposed witness protection program

<div>

Transgender Man

On a romantic getaway, a magician hasn’t told his parents of his transition, nor his engagement. He’s a professional magician.

Motivation:

want: unharassed romantic weekend with new fiancée
need: relaxed 1:1 time with new fiancée </div>

Secret: hasn’t told his parents of transition (COVID?)

Wound: teased as child for being Tomboy by black kids

<div>

Subtext/Layers: not a racist-racist

Conflict: parrtner hurt he hasn’t told parents

Hidden Agenda: convince fiancée to elope to avoid telling parents

Conspiracy: something where as a couple they try slight of hand to distract the psychi

Intrigue: lying to financée about parents (saying he was adopted)

Dilemma: fiancée wants a big wedding

Secret Identity: going to a Jungian psychologist therapist

Transgender Woman

On a romatic getaway, a poker player secretly paid off debt with wedding fund, needs to sneak away for a big game to win the money back before the fiancé finds out.

Motivation:

want: big wedding
need: validation of their relationship </div>

Secret: poker player w/debts

Wound: mother’s an alcoholic & she started sneaking alcohol as a teenager when beat up by boys at school when caught wearing girl’s clothes

Subtext: casual drinker
Layers: poker player, back room deals

Conflict: wedding plans, drinking

Hidden Agenda: use wedding savings to pay off debts w/a big secret game

Conspiracy: something where as a couple she bluffs to distract the psychic

Intrigue: unbeknownst to fiancé using wedding savings

Dilemma: big wedding, but need money without fiancé knowing

Secret Identity: good bluffer

<div>

Black Sister

Quantum Physicist attending her parent’s funeral with her sister, tries to keep her parent’s poly relationship secret from her devoted Christian sister.

Motivation: <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>want: doesn’t want to demean parents; <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>need: know both parents love her

Secret: believes white parent is racist </div>

Wound: thinks her father is ashamed of her because she’s the only black offspring
Subtext: all white people are racists

Layers: same

Conflict: knows parents are polyamorous & her sister doesn’t

Hidden Agenda: keep sister in the dark about poly parents

Conspiracy: sometime needs to outsmart psychic w/sister

Dilemma: wants to be honest with sister but doesn’t want her sister to judge their parents
Secret Identity: quantum physicist

<div>

White Sister

Christian private chef attending her parent’s funeral with her sister, wants to save her atheist sister from hell.

Motivation: <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>wants: memorable funeral for parents; <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>needs: save atheist sister

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Secret:
<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Wound:
<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Subtext: atheist won’t be saved

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Layers:
<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”><i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Conflict: save atheist sister

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Hidden Agenda: save atheist sister

Secret Identity: organic omnivore chef vs vegan sister

</div><div>

Alzheimer Husband

Retired psychologist wants a romantic weekend with his wife away from daily stresses, but suspects she suspects and will divorce him.

Motivation:

want: weekend away from adult kids; need: time to rest keeps forgetting things

Secret: getting mixed up & forgetting things, claims he’s just busy

Wound: first marriage ended in annulment, before he found out she was pregnant, never met his son; never forgave himself and never told his current wife of 40 years

Subtext: hiding his forgetfulness

Conflict: doesn’t want to scare his wife

Hidden Agenda: local expert check him out

Conspiracy: eventually work w/wife to distract psychic using Jungian subconscious personalities

Intrigue: retired Jungian psychologist

Alzheimer Wife

Retired gaming & AI software engineer wants a romantic weekend with her husband away from daily stresses, but suspects he suspects and will divorce her.

Motivation:

want: romantic weekend; need: to know she’s not loosing it </div><div>

Secret: suspects early alzheimer’s & fears husband will divorce her

Wound: 1^st husband abandoned her
Subtext: lies to cover up her memory loss
Layers: memory loss is worse than thought

Conflict: not being honest w/husband

Hidden Agenda: use gaming strategy to keep track of things

Conspiracy: eventally works with husband to distract psychic

Intrigue: lies to her husband

Dilemma: wanting to tell her husband the truth, but fearing he’ll leave her

Secret Identity: AI expert

GROUP CONFLICT

Transgender white racist against all the white people holed up in the lodge </div>

Atheist sister w/Christian sister
Christian sister doesn’t approve of sexual deviance: transgender, polyamorous

Transgender man hasn’t told fiancée he hasn’t told his parents

Transgender woman hasn’t told fiancée she’s embezzled their wedding fund to pay off gambling debt

Alzheimer couple lies to cover up early symptoms of the disease

The Alzheimer husband never told his wife about his 1^st marriage and son he never saw.

Psychic’s father is on her trail

</div></div>

[Beth Bonness]

Subject line: Beth Bonness’ Character Journeys!

What I learned doing this assignment is…taking it one step at a time, capturing the first thing that comes to your mind, and knowing you don’t have to answer all the questions perfectly and can change them later, takes the pressure off.

Psychic H (Harriet English version, love and everyting)

Beginning: where does the character start — nightmares started again with powerful psychic father learning about her location

TP #1: three couples are stranded because of power outtage, H realizes she wants new thoughts & has this captive group of people — she’s hopeful after being threatened because of nightmares

Midpoint: twist: Jungian psychologist suspectives H’s motives — or someone learns she’s not blind

TP #2: somehow father gets closer to knowing where & psychologist wants to help

Dilemma: not taking new thoughts & her father finds her vs taking thoughts and depriving people she’s come to respect of memories

3^rd Act Climax: duke-out of stealing thoughts & drink-spiking:

-Alzheimer’s couple losing memories of their relationship to save herself – same age as her father; more effective in protecting her & doesn’t want to do it

End: people become new friends & they want to help protect her from her father. Final duke-out?

Transgeder Man (Maxim)

Beginning: romantic get away — just chill w/financée

TP #1: gets a call from mother & fiancée overhears Maxim pretending to be woman he was & on a girlfriends weekend getaway

Midpoint: Maxim acknowledges not letting his parents know of transition

TP #2: wants to elope & not tell parents

Dilemma: come out of closet & be disowned by family vs fiancée calling off bercause she wants a big wedding

3^rd Act Climax: transgender woman answers phone cal of future mother-in-law & introduces herself as the fiancée — mom thinks trans Maxim is a lesbian

End: transgender couple elopes; it’s more important to be together w/new friends who support them

Transgender Woman (Lola)

Beginning: on a relaxed romantic weekend to plan a big wedding

TP #1: gets call from bookie about debts & commits to secretly use wedding savings

Midpoint: Lola hears Max tell of parents not knowing & berated for lying while she is lying

TP #2: Lola wants a big wedding; he hasn’t told his parents, she’s using their weddingfund

Dilemma: Lola wants a big wedding but she’s using the wedding fund & bookie will hurt her if she doesn’t pay up

3^rd Act Climax: future mother-in-law thinks Max is a lesbian; Lola pretends to be pretransition guy – so not a lesbian joke wedding invites them to come

End: Lola & Maxim elopes; it’s more important to be together w/new friends who support them

Biracial Black Sister (Wanda)

Beginning: in town for parent’s funeral (how did they die? Car accident or COVID?). Wanda worries what her sister wil think if she finds out their parents were polyamorous. Loves her parents despite racist white father.

TP #1: sister invited by poly friends of parents for a poly family get together to grieve; thinks her sister is naive & tries to coverup

Midpoint: sister already knows parents were polyu; over cocktails psychic spikes her drink with Wanda’s thoughts, but lies to her sister saying she doesn’t approve either

TP #2: hoped to convince parents to not share poly since sister #2 would be devastated; but they died first

Dilemma: tell sister she approves & lose her sister after already losing her parents vs continue to lie to her sister

3^rd Act Climax: fight over forgiveness vs acceptance when Wanda doesn’t believe in God; why use Christian logic?

End: both sisters know about parents and accept they disagree, but don’t want to lose each other — or not a happy ending where they leave knowing they’ll never see each other again

Biracial White Sister (Caroline)

Beginning: at funeral for parents; she’s very homo/trans/alternative lifstyle-phobic

TP #1: unknowingly accepts invitation from parent’s poly friends to their place, but can’t get to because of storm

Midpoint: admits she knows hoping if she ignored it, the situation would go away if she prayed hard enough

TP #2: hoped to convince Wanda it’s wrong & have her on her side to intervene

Dilemma: Christian value of honoring your parents (5^th commandment) vs honoring her poly parents

3^rd Act Climax: fight over forgiveness vs acceptance; feels guilty for car accident after a fight w/them

End: both sisters know about parents and accept they disagree, but don’t want to lose each other — or not a happy ending where they leave knowing they’ll never see each other again

Alzheimer’s Husband (Charles/Howard?)

Beginning: on a romantic getaway; hides his forgetfulness from his wife

TP #1: forgets something important like their anniv date; wife is suspicious (mixed up w/ his anniv w/ his 1^st wife)

Midpoint: slips his son’s name or bday & current wife didn’t know — she’s afraid he’ll leave

TP #2: fforgets his wife’s name; she thinks he wants to go back to his 1^st wife

Dilemma: be honest & lose wife because he never told her about his 1^st wife & son or lie & lose his wife because he doesn’t share his Alzheimer’s condition

3^rd Act Climax: wife finds email/text from 1^st wife/son

End: he comes clean about 1^st wife and son & Alzheimer’s

Alzheimer’s Wife (Genevieve)

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Beginning<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>: looking forwad to romantic weekend but stresses over husband’s being suspicous about her Alzheimer’s

TP #1: forgets where she worked for 30 years in conversation w/new people

Midpoint: uses gaming strategy (memory aid of crafting outrageous story to keep track of things); in a competition to remember big events, she has flash cards/iPhone notes/App) forgets husband’s bday, but not their anniv — forgetting about their relationship memories makes her sad.

TP #2: she doesn’t recognize her husband coming down for drinks – he’s in the shadows

Dilemma: tell her husband about her Alzheimer’s & she thinks he’ll divorce her or continue to lie and forget who her husband is

3^rd Act Climax: their kids get thourhg — phone rings — some else picks up (Psychic ?) says it’s your daughter — they both have blank expressions like who is that?

End: they both know they have Alzheimers & stratregize how to help each other remember

[Beth Bonness]

Beth Bonness’ Right Characters!

What I learned doing this assignment: listen to your intution & use the examples as references to work through your hook & characters. I find myself picking fresh combinations then think how do I have the perspective to write that character? But list them anyway!

[Beth Bonness]

Update: thought we were to keep the detail of assignment private like with our concepts. Then reread instructions – still not clear if we’re to expose our concepts yet, so took the assignment literal: “think” doesn’t mean share, except for last 2 questions. I know it’ll all come out by the end of the class regardless.

Tell us what makes these characters the “right ones” for this story?

Assumed-to-be-Blind Psychic:

-Everyone thinks she’s blind & can write notes & gesture undetected.

-She curates different types of thoughts and teaches people how their thoughts affect them so when others have issues, she coaches them on how to get what they want.

-She’s lonely and wants new people with new thoughts to manipulate.

-She enjoys puzzles & drinking games & uses them to pass the time gathering intel on everyone.

-She comes from a long line of psychics.

Transgender Engaged Couple:

-Man hasn’t told his parents.

-Woman hasn’t told her ex-fiancée.

-Man is worried about her drinking.

-Woman is worried about his shoe fetish.

-He’s a magician & good at slight of hand.

-She’s a professional poker player & a good bluffer.

Bi-Racial Sisters:

-Sister #1 is a black, vegan, atheist who believes in quantum psychology & that all white people are racist.

-Sister #2 is a white christian, private chef who grows organic chickens & herbs for local restaurants & believes other-sexuality is wrong.

-Sister #1 knew her parents were polyamorous, but not that she had sibs.

Alzheimer’s Couple:

He’s a retired psychologist – specializing in Jung; knows about thought influences.

-She’s a retired software engineer – specializing in AI & gaming; knows about game psychology.

What I learned doing this assignment: listen to your intution & use the examples as references to work through your hook & characters. I find myself picking fresh combinations then think <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>how do I have the perspective to write that character? But list them anyway 🙂

[Beth Bonness]

Hello everyone, I’m Beth Bonness. I’ve written a couple scripts, a full length and some shorts (one accepted in a contest as a quarter-finalist) and I won’t even tell you how many versions of each….I’ve enjoyed taking ScreenwritingU classes to improve them and after a hiatus from screenwriting I’m back and looking forward to adding writing a contained movie to my list of skills.

Something unusual…back in 2001 in the early days of digital-cinema, I was part of the 1st global multi-screen premiere of Jurassic Park III at Universal City Park. I headed up an incubator group at Grass Valley who built a digital-cinema server. I thoroughly enjoyed working with Universal, THX, TI, Sunset Post, and Technicolor. The night of the premiere sitting between execs from Universal and Disney my husband leans over and whispers, “I hope this works” as our engineers sat in the audience in suits with walk-talkies to the control room to report back on the critical 20 minute digital reel splicing moments. Taking those quick plane trips from Portland, Oregon to Burbank (pre 9/11 & COVID), where I knew the TSA guys by name, I picked up How to Write a Screenplay in 21 Days: The Inner Movie Method by Viki King at the Burbank Airport and I’ve been writing ever since.

[Beth Bonness]

Subject line: Beth Bonness’ Great Hook!

How did this process work for me? <font face=”inherit” style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Able to generated so many ideas and permutations on ideas during the brainstorm. I too was stressed at the initial thought I’d have to pick “1” and submit it, but at the end it </font>said<font face=”inherit” style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> not to disclose </font>just<font face=”inherit” style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> talk about the process & what I learned. Unless I misunderstood because others provided components :)</font>

What did I learn? Knowing the difference between drama and hook helped whittle down and refine my picks. Plus sometimes it’s hard to stop the generating and make a selection!

[Beth Bonness]

Beth Bonness’ Guidelines for What Lies Beneath

What I learned doing this assignment is it’s easy to modify and keep the essence of the movie with a little effort.

Part 1

Overall each of the ideas were in contained spaces. Ages were changed because of kids. They could all be pitched in a couple sentences and were unique, although several were permutations.

Part 2

TITLE: What Lies Beneath

AS THEY DID IT:

A. People: only a couple main ones, but lots at college

B. Stunts: yes with chase over bridge and in lake

C. Extras: lots during the college events & in the lab

D. Wardrobe: nothing exceptional

E. Hair and Make Up: minimal

F. Kids and Animals: college daughter & dog

G. Quarantine: easier for main characters, but not for extras

COVID GUIDELINE VERSION:

A. People: reduce people in the lab, make party smaller & change public venue to smaller private event

B. Stunts: use tension vs showing the body moving around a moving boat & car; use tighter shots for the drowned college student vs a body floating

C. Extras: eliminate at parties and public by making private smaller event

D. Wardrobe: minimal

E. Hair and Make Up: minimal

F. Kids and Animals: skip the dog

[Beth Bonness]

Hi Bill,

What kind of Physicist? I’m working on a screenplay about quantum entanglements 🙂

Beth