Brandon Barker
Forum Replies Created
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Brandon’s Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene
What I learned: I could incorporate a checklist of horror emotions with every scene.
EXT. PARK – NIGHT
Julian and Sofia bolt into a thick fog bank, practically disappearing.
They sprint past a row of Revolutionary-era cannons when Julian HEARS MORE VOICES —
Julian stops, paralyzed. Hyperventilating.
Unaware, Sofia glances behind her. Jogging backward now —
SOFIA
JULIAN! We have to keep going!
Julian bends over, squinting. Trying to stop the voices. Finally, getting a grip, he nods. Starting up a sprint again–
— he approaches steep and narrow cement stairs.
Suddenly, A BASEBALL bounces down the steps and rolls, almost hitting his shoe.
Julian picks up the ball, recognizing the autograph.
JULIAN
Peyton?
Meanwhile, Sofia runs for her life, way ahead of him.
Julian approaches the stairs. Looks up. It leads into a tree-covered shroud of darkness.
JULIAN (CONT’D)
Peyton?
Resolute, Julian exhales. And slowly ascends.
Meanwhile, Sofia glances back again. She stops this time, watching Julian disappear into the darkness.
SOFIA
JULIAN!
As Julian reaches the top of the stairs… it’s quiet.
JULIAN
Peyton?
Too quiet.
He pans the scene — a slide and a simple swing set. Then —
THE HORSEMEN
lunges from the shadows. And swings.
Julian ducks.
ACROSS THE FIELD
Sofia hears JULIAN’S CRY.
SOFIA
OH GOD!!! OH NO! NOOOO!!
SOFIA’S POV
A beat. Then, in the distance —
A BRUNETTE HEAD
topples down the staircase, looking a lot like Julian.
Sofia SCREAMS.
TOP OF STAIRS
The Horsemen jerks.
SOFIA’S POV
As she watches THE HORSEMAN stagger down the steps.
Wiping away tears and mucous, she runs.
In no hurry, the Horseman picks up the head, stuffing it in his pouch.
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Brandon’s Level 1 Horror Emotion Scene
What I learned: Lots of small things can be done to set the tone – it can be subtle, just enough to keep the audience uneasy.
Apprehension: As Gordy moves closer and closer to the head in the jar, it moves slightly, scaring him. Outside, he hears the echo of a horse’s neigh. At the lake, the kids hear a bizarre horse neigh but warn Newt not to snoop around. They have a bad feeling about the sound.
Surprise: During the play, lots of little things go wrong, foreshadowing the misfortune: bumping into a setpiece, flubbed lines, etc. At the townsquare, Sofia’s Dad scares her unintentionally.
Shock: We experience shock at the first act turn, when the schoolmaster locks the kisa in the schoolhouse and when they see Newt nearly trampled to death. We also experience shock through the character of the schoolmaster – we learn he’s a spirit with some major PTSD compliments of the Headless Horseman.
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Brandon’s Horror Outline Version 1: HOLLOW
What I learned: The haunted-house ‘thrill-ride’ feeling should be throughout most of Act 2 and Act 3.
ACT I
EXT. BATTLEFIELD – DAY
Flashback. Redcoats vs. Patriots in the Revolutionary War. In slo-mo, an unstoppable Hessian horseman slays a half-dozen patriots until a cannonball finally decapitates him on the battlefield. The Hessian’s head is mutilated but mostly in one piece…
INT. AUCTION HOUSE – NIGHT
Present Day. Gordy, a mysterious, rich eccentric acquires the head of the 18th Century Hessian soldier in a Southeby’s-type auction for the macabre and bizarre.
INT. GORDY’S BASEMENT – NIGHT
Gordy places the head (in a creepy lit jar filled with formaldehyde) on a shelf among his other rare and historical oddities. The head twitches for a half-second as an eyeball tumbles down its cheek. Gordy flinches, tapping the glass, finally dismissing it.
INT. JULIAN & OWEN’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
Montage of kids getting ready for the school play — ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ — at Sleepy Hollow High. We meet Julian, 16, painting (something; we don’t know what yet) on a distinctive prop, as his older brother Owen, 18, teases him. We learn Owen has a baby girl, argues with his Grandma over babysitting, but is generally a good Dad.
EXT. TOWNSQUARE – DAY
Townsfolk prep for a Revolutionary War reenactment the next day. Cannons in place, etc. Sofia, 17, helping out, argues with her Dad – she’s going to be late!
INT. HIGH SCHOOL – DRESSING ROOM
Sofia bursts in as we also meet Lacy,17, the stage manager. Newt, 15, getting ready, plays Puck. Everyone is relieved when Sofia arrives – we learn she’s the star of the show– the male drama teacher almost had to take her part.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL – STAGE
Kids perform on stage. Some flubbed lines and minimal mayhem. But in the end, a successful performance. During the play, while she’s on stage, Julian asks Sofia to prom via painted words on the distinctive prop from earlier. A little shaken at first but finally impressed, she says yes.
EXT. THE HOLLOW – LAKE – NIGHT
The kids celebrate closing night by throwing an impromptu party by the lake. Owen passes around 3 wine coolers he managed to nab from his Grandma. Suddenly, they hear a horse in the distance and galloping hooves. Curious, Newt wants to inspect… When he doesn’t return… the kids go on a search for him.
INT. SCHOOLHOUSE – NIGHT
The kids find instead a dilapidated schoolhouse. Julian discovers an old, broken portrait of Ichabod Crane. Then, flashback images of decapitated school children – ghosts from the past—fill his mind. Then, he can barely make out the image of a soldier with an axe. Before we tilt to the monster’s face…
EXT. THE HOLLOW – CEMETARY – NIGHT
…Newt has been following the galloping and neighing sound until he finds a strange, demonic horse tied to a rope, just outside an ancient cemetery. It has fiery eyes and a bare rib cage.
ACT II
INT. SCHOOLHOUSE – NIGHT
Cut back and forth between the schoolhouse and Newt. At the schoolhouse, the schoolmaster (spirit of Ichabod Crane) appears and Sofia and Lacy believe he’s part of the Revolutionary War reenactment taking place that week. The schoolmaster explains away the vision Julian had – it was the ghost of the Hessian soldier. For some unknown reason, old spirits have awakened including the schoolmaster, who can’t remember much. However, he can’t forget the dark history of Sleepy Hollow. We learn why the HH has returned – his head must be near.
EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT
Meanwhile, Newt is nearly trampled to death by the horseman’s demonic horse.
INT. SCHOOLHOUSE – NIGHT
The schoolmaster gets halfway through the classic Sleepy Hollow legend when they hear a horse approach in the distance, growing closer and closer and closer. Suddenly, the schoolmaster locks them in. We discover Ichabod Crane (a Red Herring) owes the horsemen heads in order to be ‘released.’ The kids try to escape by trying to kick down doors and bust chairs through windows but it’s no use. Owen bashes open a window with his leg when the HH grabs it. HH smashes through. When Owen swings an old-fashioned paddle around – he sees the horseman has NO HEAD. First reveal of the monster. The HH swings the axe into Owen’s neck but it gets stuck halfway through. The HH may be a little rusty, but he finally gets the job done in a gruesome, horrific fashion. Meanwhile, Ichabod rocks back and forth with PTSD, profusely apologizing.
EXT. WOODS – NIGHT
The surviving kids manage to escape. They watch on, horrified, as Owen dies in the distance. Then, they hear MOANING, and soon discover…
EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT
…Newt, barely alive, gruesomely trampled by the horse. Julian hears more ghostly voices – Revolutionary soldiers are starting to awaken. The kids try to call 911 but no bars. Finally…
INT. 911 CALL CENTER/INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – NIGHT
… a call gets through and a 911 operator tries to get ahold of the sheriff…but they’re inundated with calls and complaints regarding the Revolutionary War reenactment the following day. The operator can’t even get through to them.
EXT. VILLAGE – NIGHT
We quickly learn the horseman has a mad obsession with heads. Point of no return as the horseman is set loose on the village among the Revolutionary-era cannons set-up for the following day. He chops off the head of an assembly-line worker but grabs it just before it’s turned to mush on the conveyor belt. One or two more fun and creative deaths here. Maybe Sofia’s dad. Why is the HH collecting all these heads?
INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – NIGHT
The sheriff and deputy receive more calls about a killer on the loose. This time, they rush to investigate. But are they too late?
EXT. THE HOLLOW – NIGHT
Meanwhile, the kids try to find their way back through the woods but it’s like an unsolvable labyrinth. They can’t see – the fog is too thick. Lacy tries to mount a horse, but simply can’t without a saddle.
EXT. PARK/BATTLEFIELD – NIGHT
Sofia and Julian are arguing. Julian is being kind of a dick. Again, he hears ghostly voices from the past – the horrific screaming of Patriot soldiers from the Revolutionary War. Then, a horrible voice, asking for help. Lured away from the group, Julian’s blindsided by the HH in the fog. Maybe we hear a sound and see a head roll down a hill or steps that LOOKS like Julian – but it’s not really him. Julian simply made him drop one of HH’s collected heads (we learn later in a flashback). Merely a fake-out death.
EXT. TOWNSQUARE– NIGHT
As a witness to the killing, Sofia believes Julian is dead and flees, along with the others. They literally run into GORDY as the audience sees his face for the first time—reveal Gordy as a dwarf and a definite surreal character. He wants to know if the legend is true – if the Headless Horseman is real. The kids learn the HH is trying to find his original head, the head they must destroy to kill the horseman. Gordy soon gets his wish – the HH approaches as the kids flee. Gordy stays, fascinated, giddy. When HH is about to give him the axe – Gordy’s phone drops with the image of the original head in formaldehyde. HH stops. And picks it up. Gordy promises to take the HH to his original noggin. With this new plan, the horseman will finally be able to cross the bridge and into the world at large.
INT. JULIAN & OWEN’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Grandma babysits Owen’s baby boy as she’s the only one who can ward off the HH in a clever way. Julian suddenly appears – we learn he’s alive in a quick flashback. He’s looking for something. A special prop used in the play. He finally finds it, but has to lie to his Grandma – ‘Owen’s ok and everything’s fine.’
EXT. VILLAGE – NIGHT
On the way, the Sheriff and Deputy try to apprehend the HH to no avail. They both die horribly. At least they delayed the monster. Meanwhile, it’s a race against time as the kids must get to the horseman’s original head at Gordy’s before the horseman does…
EXT. PARK – NIGHT
…but spirits from the Revolutionary War stand in the way… as HH gets closer. And closer.
EXT. GORDY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The kids finally approach the rich eccentric’s house…
ACT III
INT. GORDY’S BASEMENT – NIGHT
The kids arrive first as the HH was slowed down by the cops. The HH appears just as the kids retrieve the Head from Gordy’s basement. Now, they’re trapped in there with the HH and the strange Revolutionary War antiquities (wax figures, weapons, cannons, etc.). Wax figures look like the real deal to both HH and the kids. The kids can only escape by placing one of their jackets on a wax dummy and trap the horseman inside the basement. But in a twist, the horseman outsmarts them, killing Gordy. Lacy finds an alternative exit, a secret entrance, leading to some underground tunnels.
INT. REVOLUTIONARY-ERA TUNNELS – NIGHT
The horseman pursues the kids through a labyrinth of Revolutionary-era tunnels. Darkness all around. Only light from their cell phones. Julian manages to track down Sofia by a location finder or a phone call. Julian uses the special prop from the play to thwart the Headless Horseman. In doing this, he sacrifices himself, the tunnels cave-in, but the gives Sofia and Lacy (the last remaining survivors) time to escape.
EXT. PUMPKIN PATCH – NIGHT
The HH catches himself in a funhouse mirror, upsetting him. He feels around but he’s got only a phantom head. He snatches a pumpkin, wearing it proudly as a temporary replacement.
EXT. BRIDGE – NIGHT
Sofia and Lacy mount one of Gordy’s horses – the only hope to cross the bridge on time. They’re tasked with bringing the horseman’s head back across the bridge – destroying the monster once and for all. Will they make it to the threshold on time? The girls make it to the bridge but not without sacrifice. Sofia is finally trampled and beheaded. The horseman hurls his flaming pumpkin head at Lacy – as she barely makes it past the threshold of the bridge with the disgusting original head – and the HH bursts into flames.
EXT. BRIDGE – MORNING
The next day. A stranger approaches. A gloved hand reaches into frame and picks up the smashed pumpkin head. It’s ICHABOD CRANE, chuckling, a little crazy, still shaking with his PTSD, taking up the horseman’s mantle.
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Brandon’s Character Journey Track
What I learned: Character introductions can provide either clues as to how each character dies or how they solve a piece of the puzzle.
Character Profile: Julian, 16
1. Role: Leader
2. Traits: Takes charge; jack of all trades; clairvoyant
3. Fears: the dark; voices in his head
4. Wants/Needs: Wants to please Sofia; Needs to stop the horseman
5. Likability / Rooting factors: knowledge about many things; smart
6. How they react under stress: keeps his cool
7. Relationship with other characters: a calming effect on the group; can capture their attention and get them back on track
Character Journey:
1. Character Intro: Draws an amazing comic strip asking Sofia to prom
2. Denial: Does not believe his grandmother when she tells him he can see ghosts
3. Their reaction at first horror: paralyzed when watching his friend get trampled
4. Relation to group after first horror: takes charge and wants to investigate
5. How they fight back: They must steal HH’s original head
6. End Point: A Revolutionary ghost lures and distracts him while HH gets to him.
7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Don’t be a dick to your girlfriend.
Character Profile: Sofia, 17
8. Role: Rescuer, which often means sacrifice
9. Traits: positive, ‘can-do’ attitude; Pollyanna-ish
10. Fears: getting dirty
11. Wants/Needs: wants to be a star; needs to survive the night
12. Likability / Rooting factors: She sacrifices her own safety to go back and rescue Julian
13. How they react under stress: she doesn’t scream but takes action
14. Relationship with other characters: supportive to sometimes an annoying degree
Character Journey:
8. Character Intro: On stage, in the spotlight – a shining star
9. Denial: Tries to discourage Julian from investigating (let the cops handle it)
10. Their reaction at first horror: denial of Newt’s death
11. Relation to group after first horror: dismissive at first
12. How they fight back: she sacrifices her own safety; she uses an old shackle to protect her neck
13. End Point: She sacrifices herself to buy Lacy time
14. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Sacrificing for the greater good is sometimes necessary
Character Profile: Owen, 18
15. Role: Rebel/Rule Breaker
16. Traits: Paranoid; His interruptions can be annoying
17. Fears: the unknown
18. Wants/Needs: Wants to take care of his baby; needs to survive for her
19. Likability / Rooting factors: we see how great a young father he is; we want him to survive
20. How they react under stress: not well, jumps to conclusions; overreacts; wants to kick ass
21. Relationship with other characters: Maybe he’s Julian’s older brother
Character Journey:
15. Character Intro: Bonding with his baby girl
16. Denial: Thinks killer is just a psycho in a costume
17. Their reaction at first horror: Wants to go out and kill the monster himself
18. Relation to group after first horror: He’s the hothead; he must calm down
19. How they fight back: He holds off HH at the schoolhouse for as long as he can
20. End Point: Decapitated at the schoolhouse
21. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? It is unwise to jump to conclusions
Character Profile: Lacy, 17, sole survivor
22. Role: Complainer/Skeptic
23. Traits: realist but also a skeptic; complainer but for good reason: she’s the smartest of the group; also often ‘the mother’ of the group
24. Fears: the unknown
25. Wants/Needs: Wants to put on a great show;
26. Likability / Rooting factors: She’s the voice of reason; the ‘Skully’
27. How they react under stress: She tries to rationalize, providing reason and scientific evidence
28. Relationship with other characters: an outsider; she’s considered ‘too cautious’ but probably knows what she’s talking about
Character Journey:
22. Character Intro: We see her painting a horse set piece for the play, wishing she could ride; only time she felt truly free
23. Denial: Takes the longest to accept the truth
24. Their reaction at first horror: She does not believe in ghosts
25. Relation to group after first horror: She’s the sole skeptic in the bunch
26. How they fight back: She finally makes it to the bridge with HH’s head
27. End Point: Lacy beats the horseman to the tunnel at the bridge; finally destroying the head
28. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Finally accepting the truth of a situation can save your ass
Character Profile: Newt, 15
29. Role: Moral One
30. Traits: Shy, won’t strip in the stream
31. Fears: social situations
32. Wants/Needs: wants Sofia; needs to survive the demonic horse
33. Likability / Rooting factors: Incredible on stage, shy as shit socially
34. How they react under stress: timid
35. Relationship with other characters: Warns friends of danger
Character Journey:
29. Character Intro: We see him as the co-star of the play (Puck); but then totally shy backstage
30. Denial: ?
31. Their reaction at first horror: He can’t believe what he’s seeing; he must get closer; takes pictures with his iPhone
32. Relation to group after first horror: He’s the first one down; possibly just injured
33. How they fight back: Julian searches for the horse
34. End Point: Trampled to death or near-death
35. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Curiosity kills the cat
Character Profile: The Stranger, 59
36. Role: Menacing Stranger/Carrier
37. Traits: Rich; eccentric; full of mystery; obssessed
38. Fears: not solving the mystery; not knowing the full story of HH
39. Wants/Needs: He wants to know if the ‘legend’ is true; he needs to possess the monster itself
40. Likability / Rooting factors: He’s a cowboy-type but rather sinister
41. How they react under stress: foolishly haphazard
42. Relationship with other characters: their opponent – he ultimately wants to keep HH alive
Character Journey:
36. Character Intro: A rich man at an auction, but we do not see his face until he meets the kids.
37. Denial: He must be sure the legend is true
38. Their reaction at first horror: astonishment; then pleasure in seeing the monster
39. Relation to group after first horror: outcast
40. How they fight back: He traps the monster at first; then monster escapes
41. End Point: Impaled by HH
42. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Don’t try to cage the monster, it’s impossible
Character Profile: The Schoolmaster (Ichabod Crane)
43. Role: Red Herring
44. Traits: nervous, shell-shocked; but smart; knowledgeable
45. Fears: the Headless Horseman
46. Wants/Needs: to be ‘released’ from the Horseman’s grip/terror
47. Likability / Rooting factors: bookish, clever; idiosyncratic
48. How they react under stress: not well – PTSD, shaking, hiding under desk
49. Relationship with other characters: gives others insight into backstory, but is interrupted halfway
Character Journey:
43. Character Intro: Reading a book in the schoolhouse
44. Denial: Doesn’t have much memory, he thinks he was a teacher…
45. Their reaction at first horror: … but definitely remembers one thing: the Headless Horseman
46. Relation to group after first horror: Turns on them; traps them in the schoolhouse
47. How they fight back: kids yell at him; threaten him to let them out!
48. End Point: Ichabod survives; perhaps we see him take up the mantle at the end
49. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Nothing stops the Headless Horseman. Nothing.
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Brandon’s Monster Reveal Track
What I learned: A series of clues must be sprinkled throughout, not given all at once.
A. Who is your monster and what is their terror?
• Powers: An unstoppable force that collects heads with an axe.
• Limitations: He’s bound to the village of Sleepy Hollow and cannot cross the threshold of the bridge without his original head.
• Weaknesses: Physical weapons/fire can at least stall him; Hats confuse/distract/frustrate him; destroying his original head is the only thing that can kill him
• Plan/Purpose/Appetite: An insatiable appetite for heads for lack of his own.
B. Sequence the reveals + C. Create Demand for each clue/reveal.
1. Demand: Newt hears a horse neighing in the woods and must follow the sound.
Monster Reveal: Julian watches Newt trampled to death by a demonic horse.
2. Demand: Julian has a terrifying vision of a Headless man and decapitated children at the schoolhouse. What does it mean?
Monster Reveal: The schoolmaster gets halfway through the classic legend of Sleepy Hollow—when they’re suddenly interrupted by the monster himself.
3. Demand: Why is the HH collecting heads?
Monster Reveal: Set loose on the town, we learn that the HH has a mad obsession with chopping off heads.
4. Demand: The rich eccentric pulls a gun on the kids, thinking they are the killers.
Monster Reveal: When the HH appears, we learn what the monster is after and what awoke it in the first place – its original head.
5. Demand: Oscar blows up the HH in a Revolutionary-era tunnel.
Monster Reveal: The monster can be stalled but not killed.
6. Demand: Will the kids cross the threshold of the bridge on time?
Monster Reveal: The girls nearly make it when one of them is trampled and beheaded.
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Brandon’s Character Death Track
What I learned: Must be a variety of creative deaths even though the monster may kill in the same fashion every time.
Survivor: Lacy – the skeptic/complainer. The one you would least likely suspect. She’s the least heroic. But slowly, she changes because she must.
Why – She’s the smartest and actually knows Sleepy Hollow history more than the others. She also knows how to ride a horse which is important in the end.
• Character Death 1: Newt
Why: He breaks from the group and curiosity kills the cat.
How: Trampled by the monster’s horse.
• Character Death 2: Owen
Why: He’s the one who challenges/annoys Ichabod Crane the most.
How: HH swings the axe into his neck and it gets stuck halfway through. HH may be a little rusty but he finally gets the job done in a horrific, gruesome fashion.
• Character Death 3: Random Townsperson 1/Random Strangers
Why: HH is set loose on the village of Sleepy Hollow
How: HH chops the head of an assembly line worker but grabs it just before it’s turned to mush.
• Character Death 4: Julian
Why: Since it arrives early, death of main character should come as a surprise. Just before this, we find out he’s not as nice as we think. Maybe he says or does something dickish to his girlfriend, Sofia.
How: Hearing the ghostly voices of past British soldiers, Julian is lured away from the group and is blindsided by the monster in the fog.
• Character Death 5: Oscar
Why: We think he’s here to save the day, but HH gets the best of him. He’s a false hero.
How: Explosives bury him alive in the Revolutionary-era tunnels
• Character Death 6: Sofia
Why: Because she accidentally killed Oscar, her boyfriend’s father.
How: She’s knocked off the horse by HH’s flaming pumpkin head. HH slices her head clean off as he passes her by on his horse.
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Brandon’s Horror Situation Track
What I learned: Horror labels are very useful when determining the right balance of horror situations.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
• Atmosphere of Evil established – Flashback. Revolutionary War. In slo-mo, an unstoppable Hessian horseman slays a half-dozen patriots until a cannonball finally decapitates him on the battlefield.
Horror Situation: Patriots pursued by an unstoppable killing machine.
Reaction: Fight – The Patriots are no cowards. But they’re also no match against this terribly adept soldier.
• Present Day. Rich eccentric acquires head of 18th century Hessian soldier in Sotheby’s-type auction. Brings it back to his manor in Tarrytown, New York, awakening something awful in the woods.
Horror Situation: Gross-out — The Hessian head twitches for a half-second, letting a loose eyeball to fall down its cheek.
Reaction: Denial – Rich eccentric thought he saw something, tapping on the glass, but ultimately dismisses it and walks away.
• Connect with the characters – Main characters bond over performing a high school play of Midsummer Night’s Dream. After the show, the kids skinny-dip in an idyllic stream in the hollow. Meanwhile, Newt discovers a huge demonic horse parked at a cemetery nearby. The horse nearly tramples Newt to death then disappears into mist.
Horror Situation: Pursued by a demonic horse.
Reaction: Escape – Newt flees but trips in the mud, almost sealing his fate.
• The characters are warned not to do it – The next day, Julian wants to explore the woods, believing the horse was some kind of spirit. Lacy warns them to stay far away.
• Denial of Horror-Julian, Sofia, and Newt discover an old-fashioned schoolhouse near the stream, in the middle of the woods. They speak to an odd schoolmaster and ask him if he’s part of the revolutionary war reenactment.
Horror Situation: Lured into danger – kids think it’s a bucolic country schoolhouse kind of like the gingerbread house in Hansel and Gretal.
Reaction: Denial. The kids think the schoolmaster is part of the revolutionary war enactment to take place the next day. But notice his clothing is a bit off the timeline.
• Safety taken away – The kids can’t find their way back home. Nothing makes sense and every path is a labyrinth. Are they stuck in time?
Horror Situation: Lost and trapped in the woods.
Reaction: Escape. They run around in circles but can only return to the schoolhouse.
• Monster: The nature of the beast. When they return to the schoolhouse, it’s completely transformed to a dilapidated, creepy structure. Julian receives a flash image of beheaded school children and the specter of the horseman. The schoolhouse is not quaint or historical. It’s a place of pure evil.
Horror Situation: Terrifying vision.
Reaction: Denial – Lacy and Julian debate until schoolmaster returns, further clarifying.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted – The schoolmaster (Ichabod Crane) describes the vision Julian had – it was the ghost of the Headless Horseman. Old spirits have awakened. Whole backstory of Sleepy Hollow. The kids are tasked with finding the Hessian’s head, taking it to the original battlefield, and destroying it– the only way to kill HH once and for all. When they hear a horse approach in the distance, the schoolmaster locks them in. We discover Ichabod Crane (Red Herring) owes the horseman heads in order to be ‘released.’
Horror Situation: Trapped in the schoolhouse
Reaction: The kids try to escape by trying to kick down door then bust chairs through windows as hooves outside become louder and louder.
• One of us killed – Owen is the first one decapitated. The rest finally escape the schoolhouse.
Horror Situation: Owen bashes open a window with his leg when HH grabs it.
Reaction: Fight – When Owen swings a crowbar around there is no head. First reveal of the monster. From a distance, kids watch as Owen is decapitated.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought! Monster is set loose on Sleepy Hollow and seems unstoppable!
• Full pursuit by the killer – the horseman is set loose on the village of Sleepy Hollow, among all the Revolutionary-era cannons set-up for the following day.
Horror Situation: Can’t see – fog is thick while flashing ghostly images of patriots dying and the sounds of their horrific deaths on the battlefield surround.
Reaction: Flee and hide. The kids learn that HH cannot cross the bridge into town for some unknown reason.
Horror Situation: Menacing Stranger – As the kids find their escape, they run into the rich eccentric. He relays that HH cannot cross the bridge without his head.
Reaction: Trying to solve it – the rich eccentric saves himself by telling HH he has what he wants – his original head. HH takes the eccentric hostage.
• Terrorized – Revolutionary War reenactment mixes with the past as horrors and confusion return. We cannot tell the past from the present. As the Horseman pursues and impales.
Horror Situation: Race against time. Kids must get to the head before HH does.
Reaction: Escape – But spirits from the Revolutionary war stand in the way.
Horror Situation: HH finds more victims and decapitates without prejudice.
Reaction: In denial, local villagers lose their heads. Foolishly, some try to fight.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
• Fight to the death- The kids steal the horseman’s head from the rich eccentric, all the while with the horseman hot on their tails.
Horror Situation: The HH appears just as the kids retrieve the head.
Reaction: Hide. They try to hide in the eccentric’s basement.
• Hysteria- The horseman strikes in rich eccentric’s basement full of antiquities which looks more like a revolutionary war wax museum.
Horror Situation: Confusion. Wax figures look like the real deal to both HH and kids.
Reaction: Escape. Kids can only escape by placing one of their jackets on a wax dummy and trap the horseman inside the basement.
The thrilling escape from death – The horseman pursues the kids through a labyrinth of Revolutionary-era tunnels while the kids take his head to the original battlefield where they must destroy it.
Horror Situation: Darkness through the tunnels. Can’t see. Sounds of both redcoats and patriots dying in the dark.
Reaction: Escape – Kids finally escape from the tunnels.
• Death returns to take one or more. The kids must take the horseman’s head to the edge of the bridge to finally destroy the specter entirely.
Horror Situation: Pursuit of the horseman on his demonic steed.
Reaction: Escape. Kids are not fast enough. HH easily catches up, loping off more heads.
• Resolution – The kids barely make it past the bridge to the original battlefield but not without sacrifice. The ending tease might be a gloved hand entering the frame and picking up a rotting pumpkin head. Maybe it’s Ichabod Crane taking on the new role.
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Brandon’s Horror Plot
What I learned: There is a haunted house thrill-ride type aspect to horror films that I haven’t considered before.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
• Atmosphere of Evil established – Flashback. Revolutionary War. In slo-mo, an unstoppable Hessian horseman slays a half-dozen patriots until a cannonball finally decapitates him on the battlefield. Present Day. Rich eccentric acquires head of 18th century Hessian soldier in Sotheby’s-type auction. Brings it back to his manor in Tarrytown, New York, awakening something awful in the woods.
• Connect with the characters – Main characters bond over performing a high school play of Midsummer Night’s Dream. After the show, the kids skinny-dip in an idyllic stream in the hollow. Meanwhile, Newt discovers a huge demonic horse parked at a cemetery nearby. The horse nearly tramples Newt to death then disappears into mist.
• The characters are warned not to do it – The next day, Julian wants to explore the woods, believing the horse was some kind of spirit. Lacy warns them to stay far away.
• Denial of Horror-Julian, Sofia, and Newt discover an old-fashioned schoolhouse near the stream, in the middle of the woods. They speak to an odd schoolmaster and ask him if he’s part of the revolutionary war reenactment.
• Safety taken away – The kids can’t find their way back home. Nothing makes sense and every path is a labyrinth. Are they stuck in time?
• Monster: The nature of the beast. When they return to the schoolhouse, Julian receives a flash image of beheaded school children and the specter of the horseman. The schoolhouse is not quaint or historical. It’s a place of pure evil.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted – The schoolmaster (Ichabod Crane) describes the vision Julian had – it was the ghost of the Headless Horseman. Old spirits have awakened. Whole backstory of Sleepy Hollow. The kids are tasked with finding the Hessian’s head and taking it out of town, past the bridge — the only way to destroy him. When they hear a horse approach in the distance, the schoolmaster locks them in. We discover Ichabod (Red Herring) owes the horseman heads in order to be ‘released.’
• One of us killed – Owen is the first one decapitated. The rest finally escape the schoolhouse.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
• Full pursuit by the killer – the horseman is set loose on the village of Sleepy Hollow, among all the Revolutionary-era cannons set-up for the following day.
• Terrorized – Revolutionary War reenactment mixes with the past as horrors and confusion return. We cannot tell the past from the present. As the Horseman pursues and impales.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
• Fight to the death- The kids steal the horseman’s head from the rich eccentric, all the while with the horseman hot on their tails.
• Hysteria- The horseman strikes at a historical wax museum.
• The thrilling escape from death – The horseman pursues the kids through a labyrinth of Revolutionary-era tunnels.
• Death returns to take one or more. The kids must take the horseman’s head past the bridge at the edge of town to finally destroy the specter entirely.
• Resolution – The kids barely make it to the bridge and not without sacrifice. The ending tease might be a gloved hand entering the frame and picking up a rotting pumpkin head. Maybe it’s Ichabod Crane.
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Brandon’s Characters for Horror
What I learned: The more realistic the characters, the more the audience will believe in the horror.
1. Concept: High school friends find themselves victims of the Headless Horseman.
The Group: Social Group: A clique of high school drama kids; one of them has an interest in the supernatural and amateur ‘ghost-busting’
2. Dying Pattern:
A. 6 characters will die one by one with 2-3 survivors.
3. Give us an Identity and a sentence for each character that makes up your group.
Moral One— Julian, soft-spoken behind the scenes kid; in love with Sofia; trusts too easily
Rescuer – Sofia, the talented star of her high school plays; always in the spotlight; always positive, with a ‘can-do’ attitude until the end
Leader—Dodge, Sofia’s boyfriend, amateur ghost-buster; set builder; jack-of-all-trades; competent but wild
Complainer/Skeptic – Lacy, stage manager; smart but neurotic; kind of the Scully of the group; thinks too much and gives up too easily
Rebel/Rule Breaker – Owen, former high school wide receiver, quit school to take care of his baby. Always takes the unconventional route. Was even a rebel when he took a role opposite Sofia in a high school play.
Introvert/Loner: Oscar, Julian’s Dad, a janitor, who drags Julian into a Revolutionary War reenactment character/job at the local museum to help with the bills.
Out of Control/The Carrier – Judge Farmer – the rich, eccentric fanatic who wins the head of the Hessian Trooper in an auction, awakening the spirit of the Headless Horseman; kind of a creepy Renfield type.
Red Herring – Ichabod Crane. We think he’s a friendly spirit. At first.
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Brandon’s Terrifying Monster
What I learned: The sequel often explores the origin of the monster.
1. Tell us what or who your monster is.
The Headless Horsemen, the ghost of a Hessian Trooper
2. Give us a few sentences for each of the following for your monster:
• Their Terror: The Headless Horseman collects the heads of every living soul he can find.
• Their Mystery: How do we stop this monster without losing our own heads?
• Their Fear Provoking Appearance: Carries a satchel of heads. Dusty black coat; black riding boots. Terrifying 19th century axe; sometimes dons an actual rotting pumpkin for a head.
• Their Rules: Characters can only stop the monster by finding and destroying his original head which is kept in formaldehyde by a rich eccentric. Specifics: The monster rides a demonic horse that he parks at the local cemetery. He uses one or two of his collected heads as a mace. As a last resort, when all else fails, he uses his pumpkin head for a weapon – hurling it at you in an unrelenting fiery blue flame.
• Their Mythology: In his former incarnation he was a Hessian trooper fighting for the British in the Revolutionary war when a cannon blew his head clean off.
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Lesson 1: Horror Conventions
I learned that atmosphere and location must be as creepy and weird as the monster itself.
• Title / Concept: Halloween (2018)
• Terrorize The Characters: Characters find themselves victims to an unstoppable force of evil: Michael Myers
• Isolation: In the woods at night, trapped in a public restroom, inside your very house, monster in the closet, among the broken dummies used for target practice
• Death: Myers first kills a child, surprising the audience. Bloody public bathroom deaths of major characters a third of the way through. Backyard impalement. Trapped in a bus with MM.
• Monster/Villain: Michael Myers, a supernatural killing force.
• High Tension: Escape from Insane Asylum. Myers could be anywhere. Trapped in a basement.
• Departure from Reality: Myers is more than human. He’s evil incarnate. The Boogeyman himself. Nothing can kill him. He’s unstoppable to a supernatural degree.
• Moral Statement: The world is a dark and evil place. Laurie keeping her daughter and granddaughter safe from that reality is of greater importance than having a normal mother/daughter relationship.
• Title / Concept: Hollow
• Terrorize The Characters: Characters find themselves victims of an ax-wielding headhunter
• Isolation: In the woods, in a schoolhouse alone, maybe some Revolutionary War historical monument or wax museum, maybe in an empty high school gym; abandoned bowling alley; abandoned water park
• Death: on-and-off camera decapitations; creative deaths; heads on pikes; heads used for cannons; rolling head in a bowling alley
• Monster/Villain: The headless horseman
• High Tension: Trapped in a schoolhouse; trapped in a cellar; trapped in a wax museum, trapped in time; head-locked in a guillotine
• Departure from Reality: When the characters discover the headless horseman is more than a spirit – he’s a corporeal monster.
• Moral Statement: Learn past history including your own. Or it will come back and haunt you.
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Brandon
Hollow
A. Monster – the headless horseman, the ghost of a Hessian trooper
B. Interesting terror – people literally fear losing their heads
C. Isolated or Horrific environment – a maze of dark woods influenced by the horrific violence from the Revolutionary War
D. People to be Terrorized – Amateur high school ‘ghostbusters’ and a schoolmaster from the past
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Brandon Barker
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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Hi, my name is Brandon. I’ve written about 10 scripts. I hope to learn how to plot better horror films. I like to play the ukulele.