Brandon Clark
Forum Replies Created
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Hero: Blusage
Villain: Sirok
Red herring: Xin Hatos
Trusted but shouldn’t: Dhuzin
Not trusted, but should: Misty
Sirok, not trustable. Comes in the form of an angelic being. Seeks to use a divine weapon and will enslave Blusage to get it.
Xin Hatos, not trustable. Rescues Blusage from purge
Dhuzin, not trustable . Knows secret magic arts. Will do anything
Misty, trustable. Is a witch. Is curious about Blusage’s weapon.
Blusage/Sirok
Trust: Sirok appears to Blusage in the likeness of an angel several days after he utters a prayer
Distrust: Sirok proclaims a dragon king must rule all the realms
Trust: Sirok reveals a map to the throne of Heaven
Trust: Sirok unlocks Blusage’s hidden power
Distrust: Sirok threatens to use Blusage’s power against him should he oppose him.
Trust: Sirok kills Xin Hatos
Blusage/ Xin Hatos
Distrust: Xin destroyed Blusge’s brotherhood of monks
Trust: Xin Hatos begins teaching Blusage the way of the dragon.
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Twists
Direction. Dragon hunt. Blusage and his order are about to kill one.
Twist. The dragon’s not dead. It breathes engulfs Blusage in blue fire.
Direction. His comrades think he’s dead.
Twist. Blusage is unharmed by the fire. In fact it seems to have changed him.
Direction. Blusage thinks this is a divine miracle and expects to be shown favor.
Twist. His brethren tie him up, believing he is cursed by an evil spirit.
Direction. Blusage pleads his innocence and is freed.
Twist. Blusage’s temperament changes due to the magic embedded in him from the dragon fire. He begins feuding with his order.
Direction. Blusage gets into a fight with his rival and some bullies.
Twist. Strange wisps of light energy sprout from his arms and he injures them.
Direction. His order tries to purge these abilities from him.
Twist. A league of dark mystics attack the order with demonic minions
Direction. The Chryslans fight back against the demons and the minions
Twist. Blusage turns his back on them.
Direction. Blusage heads off to start a new life.
Twist. A demon attacks him and drags him into the abyss.
Direction. Blusage is a servant of the very mystics who destroyed his order.
Twist. The two he works for are plotting to overthrow their own master.
Direction. The three begin a mission to assassinate the mystic leader.
Twist. The mystic leader was once a member of Blusage’s order.
Direction. The trio defeat the mystic leader.
Twist. The one they thought was leader of the clan was merely a pawn.
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Brandon’s Thriller Plot!
What I learned is…
Filling in the gaps of mysteries and life threatening sequences can become quite complicated, especially in regards to simple magic systems in a fantasy setting. Everything still has to tie back in together from the beginning, even coincidences.
Plot
Opening – Chryslans and the dragon hunt
Mystery – Why do Chryslans hunt dragons?
Life threatening 1 – Will Blusage survive the hunt?
Inciting Incident – Dragon breathes magical fire on Blusage
Mystery – How come Blusage survived the fire?
Mystery – Is he cursed by an evil spirit?
Mystery – What do the Chryslans mean by ‘purging’ him?
Life threatening – if he is cursed then what will this spirit do to him? And is a Chryslan purge harmful?
Villain’s Plan 1 – Mystics wish to destroy the Chryslan order from within.
Mystery – Who will they use to destroy it?
Mystery – Who is the leader of this demonic clan?
Life threatening – Someone is spying on Blusage in the woods when he visits his mother
Mystery – is it a mystic from the Demon Clan?
Life threatening – two mystics attack Blusage on is way home. The magical dragon fire saves him.
Mystery – How will he control this new power?
Villain’s Plan 2 – Lure Blusage to the mystics so they can discover more about his power.
Turning Point 1 – Chryslans attempt to purge the dragon magic from Blusage. He is expelled from their order.
Mystery – Is Blusage’s power gone for good?
Life threatening – Will the purge kill him and if not does it permanently weaken him?
Life threatening – a Chryslan rival (the spy from the woods) leads a group of assassins to track down and kill Blusage.
Mystery – Why does the witch save him?
Mystery – the dragon power is still within him. It just needs to be awakened.
Midpoint – Blusage joins the mystics. They have successfully recruited a Chryslan to their cause
Mystery – what dark arts do the mystics know that will help Blusage unlock his powers?
Mystery – will Blusage be used to defeat the Chryslan order. Will he do so willingly?
Life threatening – mystics summon Blusage like a djinn to do their bidding
Turning Point 2 – The mystics use the knowledge Blusage has given them of the Chryslan order to plan a surprise attack on them.
Mystery – was a spell cast upon the dragon to specifically set him up?
Life threatening – Blusage sneaks around the world of mystics to uncover their plans
Mystery – dark portals. Demonic shadows. What other powers do the mystics possess?
Climax – Blusage aids his Chryslan brothers to battle against the evil mystics and their demonic minions
mystery – the Chryslan rival was spying for the mystics!
Life threatening – the mystics use Blusage’s dragon powers against him.
Resolution – Blusage successfully helps defend Chryslor. He is offered an honored title among them. He goes off to new adventures to uncover more mysteries about these dragon powers he possesses.
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What I learned is…
It’s incredibly difficult to create mysteries for fantasy settings because I have to think through the different rules of magic and world building in order for the mysteries to make sense. It also involves developing the history and legends which have established these rules.
1. Sirok, the demon king, is planning to ascend unto the throne of heaven but needs to acquire the magic talisman that will enable him to do so. Catch is he cannot wield the weapon himself.
2. Sirok gifts a special person with the “key” to unlocking the talisman. In this case he sends his dragons out into the world. One of them breathes blue fire on the hero, Blusage, activating the key.
Sirok also gives dark sorcerers power from his demonic hordes. He does this because as their power rises it draws more attention on them. His red herring is Xin Hatos, the most powerful of these sorcerers.
Sirok needs to escape the demonic realms. As the sorcerers use more magic and summon his minions they are opening channels which will allow him and the greater demons to access the mortal realms.
3. A dragon breathes blue fire on Blusage but it does not harm him. This fire is changing him.
4. Sirok sends a dragon into the world
It breathes fire onto the hero which unlocks special abilities. These abilities are keys which will unlock a divine weapon
Sirok gives power to mystics. The chief one, Xin Hatos, launches an attack on the Chryslan temple. The Chryslans are the guardians of light. When their order falls the veil of heaven falls making the throne accessible to those who can ascend it.
Blusage abandons the Chryslan order after their fall to learn how to develop his dragon powers from the mystics. As he performs adventurous tasks for them he unlocks ancient Weapons called the Wings of Soria. They are the only way one can ascend the throne of heaven.
Sirok breaks free of his bonds in hell after the mystics open up portals by tampering with too much demonic magic.
Sirok discovers Blusage has the blades and begins recruiting him through extortion and intimidation by his demonic generals.
Blusage refuses to serve his mission. Sirok creates a spell which will give him power over Blusage’s abilities.
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Brandon’s Villain Has a Great Plan!
What I learned is…
Developing a general idea of the villain’s plan is probably the key ingredient to starting a good thriller, since ultimately all that he or she does will initiate a response from the hero. Also the villain must be cunning enough to thwart the hero when he or she begins to uncover their plan.
1. Goal – Sirok wants to be King of all realms.
2. Plan – Ascend the Heavens/ Acquire the dragon talisman/ control the Wings of Soria.
3. Cover up – use Blusage and the Chryslan monks to ignite the beacon towers so that he can see all realms. Also use power hungry mystics to open up portals which will unchain he and his demonic warlords. Provoke Blusage to use the Wings of Soria more and more.
4. Sequence – Sirok invents a league called the Demon Clan, a sort of gang between demons and dark sorcerers who wish to heighten their power. He gives a tremendous amount of power to one particular sorcerer, Xin Hatos, who hates the Chryslan order. (Xin was once a Chryslan who was burned by dark fire and expelled from the order). Sirok uses other demonic war generals to give power to other mystics who are rivals of each other to create a Mystic mafia. The mystics don’t know that the more they use the demon energy the more they open what are called Black Suns – portals which the demons can travel through to enter the mortal realms.
When Sirok gains entry to the mortal realms he seeks out divine/dragon talismans which will enable him to rise to the heavens and legitimate his claim to the throne.
He discovers that one of these talismans, and potentially the greatest of them, are the Wings of Soria, a set of mystical blades which are unlocked by Blusage, the Chryslan outcast. These weapons are linked to Blusage’s own physical body so Sirok cannot take them outright. Instead he seeks to use Blusage as his servant to ascend the throne of heaven.
Blusage refuses and Sirok has his warlords haunt Blusage, to get him to use the blades to see how they work. The more Blusage uses them Sirok employs mystics to discover spells which will give him mastery over them. His ultimate goal is to provoke Blusage to battle with him with them (while knowing he does not fully know how to use or control the blades) and eventually sieze them from him, in essence to possess his soul.
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I learned that the subtlest details can build up the big M.I.S. .
For example, “why did she look at him with that smirk when he asked her about the murder?”
Or when two characters just have a pause to gaze intently at each other when some other detail or past event is discussed.
These moments cause us to wonder what’s going on in each characters mind and that builds mystery, intrigue and suspense.
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I did not receive an email for the Day 4 assignment. Can someone please email it to me:
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I Brandon Clark agree to the terms of this release form.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by Brandon Clark.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by
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The Mistworld/Blusage/Sirok
What I learned: how creating a thriller from a fantasy world involves meticulous detail and explanation of magic systems so that the stakes that each character faces is understandable to the audience. I realize I may have to simplify some of the rules of my story and also cut out several filler scenes which don’t add the main three elements needed for this genre.
Concept: an order of supernatural warrior monks with strict rules on purity are defeated by a clan of mystics who access demonic forces. Part of their fall is due to a gifted outcast among them who ultimately betrays them, yet he later finds the mystics are harnessing power which even they cannot control and will resurrect an ancient evil.
Big mystery: After surviving a dragon’s flame strange things are happening to Blusage, the hero, but why are the monks afraid of his growing power? And who is the leader of their rivals, the Demon Clan?
Big Intrigue: the one who ultimately controls the Demon clan mystics is the ancient king called Sirok. He grows to power through the fall of the monks, and plans to use the dragon power embedded in Blusage to cement his rule over the realms
Big Suspense: Blusage knows very little on how to use the dragon powers, and following the mystics proves disastrous as they are more treacherous. Even worse the demon king Sirok knows how to use these powers against Blusage. Will Sirok successfully make Blusage one of his agents or will he kill him to take the power for his own?
2. Intriguing World: The Mist World. A realm of islands, forests, and caverns separated by large cloudy mists and seas. It is inhabited by the virtous Chryslan order of warrior monks, and their rivals, the underground world of mystics who access power through dark portals, called the Demon Clan.
3. Blusage, the hero
Mystery – what is the scope of him surviving the dragons flames? How does this isolate him from his order?
Suspense – if Blusage doesn’t figure out how to harness this power he may very well find himself serving as a slave to a nefarious force that does.
Intrigue – Blusage betrays his order and tries to find answers to his dragon powers through the world of dark mystics, yet they are treacherous, and now that the Chryslans are no more who can stop this powerful force they are unlocking?
Sirok, the villain
Big Mystery – said to be a powerful demon who serves the demon clan mystics, but is he truly a demon and is it he who controls them rather than the other way around?
Big Intrigue – Sirok ultimately wants to break from his prison in the nightmare realms and recreate his own vision of heaven on earth. To do that he must first get rid of the Chryslan order, then he must prove himself to be worthy of the dragon’s crown, a token which will separate him from other demon kings. Yet he cannot attain the dragon crown unless he receives its blessing, a blessing which was bestowed upon Blusage through the dragon powers.
Big Suspense – when Sirok discovers Blusage has the dragon powers he seeks to coerce him to serve as his acolyte. He does not want to outright kill him for fear that the dragon powers may vanish, but he is willing to torment and punish the hero at all costs to get him to submit his will.
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I learned during this assignment that nonstop action can serve as a thriller movie if the action is served to reveal suspenseful elements to the plot. I believe the movie I picked is lacking in tying the plans of the villain to this suspense. It also could have had the main character struggle more with his initial flaw at the story’s beginning and the conflict he had to endure with it as the stakes and tension built throughout the story.
Picked “Extraction”
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Tyler Rake, an alcoholic mercenary who extracts kidnapped targets. His 6 year old son died of cancer when he was on a mission, which he does not forgive himself. He currently accepts dangerous assignments for money but secretly hopes that the next one will put an end to his suffering.
Dangerous Vilain: Amir Asaf. A drug lord who kidnapped his rival’s son, Ovi, while the rival is in prison. No one is safe from him as he employs children as well as government officials as his military.
High Stakes: Tyler’s life, Ovi’s life, Ovi’s caretaker’s life
Life and Death Situations: Ovi kidnapped at the nightclub and his friend is shot in cold blood. Tyler infiltrating the kidnapped building which is swarming with Amir’s hired guns. Ovi’s caretaker joining in on the hunt and neutralizing the Extraction by taking out Tyler’s team one by one. Fight in the house where Tyler’s former teammate betrays him. Final bridge fight in which Tyler and Ovi’s caretaker team up to see the boy safely across the bridge to Extraction.
The movie is thrilling because: Tyler develops a bond with Ovi and fights to survive so that the boy may live. Ovi’s caretaker, who is competing against Tyler, also needs to succeed or else his own son will be killed by Ovi’s father.
Big Mystery: Will Tyler fight to save he and Ovi when the promise of reward is null?
Big Intrigue: What will happen to Ovi if Amir captures him?
Big Suspense: Who, if anyone, will succeed in the Extraction? Tyler… or Ovi’s caretaker, who intervenes to protect his own son.
What made this movie a great thriller was the plight of the hero and his rivalry with Ovi’s caretaker. They both compete with each other to the point of nearly killing each other but have the same goal: to rescue Ovi. There is nonstop action, and because the villain runs most of the government, law officials, and even child street urchins there is nowhere to hide or run for very long.