Brenda Bynum
Forum Replies Created
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Brenda Lynn’s Fast formatting!
What I learned doing this assignment is that formatting and language help communicate the action and excitement in a scene. Choosing the right verb for the action makes a huge difference.
EXT. INFINITY POOL – NIGHT
Marcus storms out of the house and over to the bar. He is about to fix a huge drink. His red phone rings.
As Lisa swims she adjusts her listening device in order to hear the other side of the conversation.MARCUS
(growls)
What?FBI
They’re set. They plan to circle the parameter in the morning.MARCUS
How the f-k did they figure it out?FBI
Do you really want me to answer that?MARCUS
Not my crew.Marcus looks over at Lisa in the pool. Even in the water she can feel his icy stare. She doesn’t break her pace.
MARCUS
Thanks for letting me know.He hangs up the phone. He quietly puts the phone in his pocket. Then he kicks one of the lounge chairs. Lisa stops swimming, comes to the edge of the pool and takes off her headphones.
LISA
Bad news?MARCUS
You could call it that.He punches the ice into the glass and splashes whisky over the cubes. Lisa walks out of the pool, wrapping herself in a thick robe and putting the gadget in her pocket.
LISA
You going to drink your troubles away.MARCUS
What the fuck do you care?LISA
To be honest with you, I have no idea why I care. But I do.MARCUS
Sorry. It’s just—I thought something was safe. Locked away. But it isn’t.Marcus slowly puts his drink down on the bar and comes around it. He gets very close to Lisa. Pulls her into him, squeezing tightly on her arms. Holding her close, he reaches into the robe pocket and pulls out the device.
MARCUS
What the hell is this?Lisa stares back at him.
LISA
The latest gadget from Japan. You wanna try it?She clicks a button on the device. Music BLARES as she attempts to put the headphones on Marcus. He shrugs her off.
MARCUS
I don’t want that crap in my ears.LISA
Anything I can do?MARCUS
I’ll think of something.He stares deeply into her eyes, searching.
LISA
I’m not sure this is a good idea. You’re angry. I don’t want you taking it out on me.MARCUS
You know me, don’t you?He walks away. Then turns back to her.
MARCUS (CONT’D)
Where’d you come from anyway?LISA
I dropped from the sky.MARCUS
I’ll just bet you did.LISA
You want I should drive tonight. Might be just the thing.Marcus holds his arm out to her.
MARCUS
Yes. It just might.Lisa walks over and takes his hand. They walk inside the house.
INT. BEDROOM – LATER
After an intense, powerful night in each other’s embrace, Lisa drops back onto the bed. Then rolls out.
MARCUS
Where you going?LISA
I told you. I have an early morning flight and I haven’t even packed.MARCUS
You did?LISA
I did. But you never listen when I tell you I’ve got to travel. I’ll be back next week.Marcus’ reaches up and strokes her arm.
MARCUS
Will you?Lisa, holding back her emotions, stares straight ahead.
LISA
Where else would I be?She buckles her belt and is gone.
INT/EXT.
Driving her red Z3 out of the drive, she sees the usual goons who follow her to her apartment building. She pulls into the lower level parking garage as they drive by the entrance.After a beat, she walks over to a solid black mini Cooper, throwing her bag in, she peels out of the garage.
Within minutes, she realizes that a big, black FBI-issue SUV is following her.
She guns up Lafayette with the SUV in hot pursuit…
…she cuts a quick left on Nola Street. SUV does the same almost tipping over the car. The suspension giving her time to turn onto narrow 4th Street, pulling quickly into a small alley…
…SUV flies down the street. She backs out and heads up 4th Street and back to Lafeyette. Feeling a moment of relief until the SUV comes racing up behind her, smacking her bumper…
…at Astor Place, she cuts across the concrete triangle reversing the direction of the chase. She turns up Third Avenue, then left onto 9th Street, driving in the wrong direction.
An oncoming cab is heading straight toward her, when she whips into an alleyway to an underground parking space…
…Jumping out of the car, she puts on a long black coat and blond wig. She searches underneath the wheel wells until she finds the tracking device. FBI-issued. She hails a cab driving by.
LISA
Tribeca?CAB DRIVER
Not going downtown this time of night.THE SUV passes by. Lisa tucks her head in the window.
LISA
Turn the meter off and take the $50.She pats the side of the cab, attaching the tracking device to the back door. The cab heads south to Tribeca.
The SUV drives by on 9th Street as Lisa strolls over to Third Avenue and hails different cab to LaGuardia Airport.
She turns and looks out the back window to watch the FBI SUV head downtown toward Tribeca.
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Brenda Lynn’s Great Action Set Piece!
What I learned doing this assignment is that utilizing this layering technique is a great way to add depth and dimension to a scene. It answers the question of why the action is important for the story. And makes the action holistic to the story. It was great to finally apply all of these great lessons.
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2: Someone at the FBI tells Marcus that they know where the painting is going to be hidden.
SETUP: Lisa has information on the location of the warehouse where the painting is hidden. She has made plans to go to the location that evening to retrieve the painting when Marcus gets a call from an informant telling him that the FBI knows where the painting is.
Pre-Action: Lisa puts on her headset and listening device as she goes for a swim in the pool. She finds out where the painting is but doesn’t know where it is going:
Action: After a night of passion, Lisa heads out to the warehouse to retrieve the painting when she realizes that she is being followed. A car chase ensues. Because she is in a black mini cooper she is able to go places that the big SUV can’t.
At Astor Place, she cuts across the concrete triangle reversing the direction of the chase. This gives her enough time to get to her hiding place.
She pulls into an alleyway that has a sloping driveway. The SUV flies past. She pulls a blond wig out of her bag and puts it on. She removes the tracking device on her car. FBI issue. Lisa grabs her bag and hails a cab. Putting the tracker on the cab, Lisa pays him $100 bucks to drive south to Tribeca. After he pulls away, she hikes to the Avenue where she hails a cab heading to the LaGuardia.
She has just sent the FBI on a wild goose chase searching for her. Lisa is on the way to the warehouse.
Post-Action: She realizes that it was the FBI following her and not someone for Marcus’ gang. She is on her own in this caper.
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Brenda Lynn’s Unique Action!
What I learned doing this assignment is that I really enjoyed trying to find these unique actions. It adds to the intrigue and twists in the story and helps to engage the audience throughout the story.
Here is a list of the top unique changes that I made. The list was quite extensive and fun to brainstorm.
Environment: Setting up the final scene in a warehouse is common, but adding that the Protag is a former gymnast and walks the beams and does flips on the beams is unique.
Villain: The villain is going to struggle with his feelings for the Protag. It catches him off guard because he is seen as a cold-hearted killer.
Mission: To return stolen artwork to the original owners. I swapped out the ending when the Protag figures out that the FBI is not trustworthy.
Struggle: The guns are useless in the warehouse because of the scaffolding. The final scene is hand-to-hand combat.
Unique Skillset: Protag is a former gymnast with martial art skills. This pays off in the final scene on the beam.
Weapon: Her own body and her determination.
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Brenda Lynn’s Level 3 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is that it is difficult to keep my heart rate steady while writing these scenes. I find that I even type faster as the action plays out. These three are interconnected (i.e., when you’ve got danger, there’s some excitement and adrenaline, etc.) What an adventure putting this scene together.
3. Write the scene as a first draft, highlighting danger, excitement, and adrenaline.
INT. WAREHOUSE – DAY
She walks across a beam high up in the air. Almost to the ceiling. Marcus’ goon follows her out there. She does a backflip on the beam, kicking him in the face. He falls to his death.
In that brief moment, she runs to the edge of beam and disappears into the ceiling. Marcus and goons fire guns up at her, but the bullets ricochet off of the ceiling and back down into the shooters, striking one of them in the shoulder
They have to find another way to get at her. Marcus sees a fire escape outside of the building. He sends his goons outside to climb up.
EXT. WAREHOUSE – CONTINOUS
They
go outside to the fire escape. Marcus drops the ladder down. By design, for
safety reasons the ladder doesn’t go to the ground. Marcus is going to have to
climb the building himself.EXT. ROOFTOP – CONTINUOUS
Marcus gets to the rooftop and confronts Lisa. She kicks the gun out of his
hand, but he is quick enough to grab her foot. He won’t let go.She struggles to get away. He is about to clock her in her beautiful face, but
hesitates because of his emotions, the ache of betrayal.Taking advantage of the moment, she kicks him in the groin hard. And runs to
the other side of the building.She’s looking up at the sky with the FBI helicopter flies over. Thinking they
are there to rescue her, they begin shooting at both she and Marcus.He runs up behind her.
MARCUS
Nobody likes betrayal.He picks her up to hurl her over the building. Gets shot in the shoulder. He
tumbles and falls over the side of the building to his death.Lisa has flipped over the side of the building, but hangs on with all of her
strength.Thinking that both of them are dead, FBI helicopter flies away just as the
ground crew arrives below.Another helicopter raises up beside the building and lands on top.
Lisa hoists herself to the rooftop. Grabbing a portfolio she had hidden on the
rooftop, she hops into the helicopter. It lifts up and flies off in the
opposite direction of the FBI helicopter. They are not on the same team. -
Brenda Lynn’s Level 2 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is to really enjoy the process. These are my favorites in a movie and it was really fun to take a jab at it to see if I could make it happen. Can’t wait to apply it to other projects. Fun! Fun! Fun!
3. Write the scene as a first draft, highlighting surprise, shock, and suspense.
INT. WAREHOUSE – DAY
FBI Agents scour the warehouse searching for the tube with the painting. Frantically searching here and there. Agent Dowd shouts out.
DOWD
Got it, Boss. This has to be it.SANDERSON
Carefully with that. It’s worth $500 million.DOWD
You think we should open it here.SANDERSON
Hell, yeah.They rush over to a dirty work table. Pushing the items off the table on to the floor.
SANDERSON (CONT’D)
Give me your jacket.DOWD
What for?SANDERSON
You think I am going to roll this masterpiece out on this filth.DOWD
Oh, sure. But you’ll use my jacket.SANDERSON
It’s replaceable. This is not.Taking out a Swiss Army knife, Sanderson gently cuts around the seal on the tube. Sliding the canvas out of the tube. With each turn of the canvas, Rembrandt’s Storm at Sea is revealed.
DOWD
I like that guy in the middle. Makes me laugh.SANDERSON
Yep. Hang on to your hats, fellas. It’s going to be one wild ride.Sanderson runs his hand over the signature. He feels something in his hand.
SANDERSON (CONT’D)
What the hell?It looks like paint on his fingertips.
SANDERSON (CONT’D)
It’s a fake.DOWD
What makes you say that?Sanderson shows Dowd the wet paint on his fingertips.
SANDERSON
How can a 400 year old paint still be wet?CUT TO:
Lisa flying away in a helicopter wearing a Mona Lisa smile as her hand caresses a portfolio on her lap.
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Brenda Lynn’s Level 1 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is a great process to incorporate emotions into a scene for the audience to feel as it goes along. This engages the audience and helps to create the desired roller coaster effect.
3. Write the scene as a first draft, highlighting anxiety, fear, and relief.
EXT. INFINITY POOL – NIGHT
Lisa swims in the pool as Marcus stand at the edge of the pool on the phone.
MARCUS
Thanks for letting me know.He hangs up the phone. He quietly puts the phone in his pocket. Then he kicks one of the lounge chairs. Lisa stops swimming and comes to the edge of the pool.
LISA
Bad news?MARCUS
You could call it that. Let’s not talk about work.He walks over to the bar and fixes a whiskey straight up. Lisa swims over and walks out of the pool, wrapping herself in a thick towel.
LISA
You going to drink your troubles away.MARCUS
What the fuck do you care?LISA
To be honest with you, I have no idea why I care. But I do.MARCUS
Sorry. It’s just—I thought something was safe. Locked away. But it isn’t.LISA
Anything I can do.Marcus slowly puts his drink down on the bar and comes around it. He gets very close to Lisa. Pulls her into him, squeezing tightly on her arms.
MARCUS
I’ll think of something.He stares deeply into her eyes, searching. She is unflappable.
LISA
I’m not sure this is a good idea. You’re angry. I don’t want you taking it out on me.Marcus lets her go.
MARCUS
You know me, don’t you?He walks away. Then turns back to her.
MARCUS (CONT’D)
Where’d you come from anyway?LISA
I dropped from the sky.MARCUS
I’ll just bet you did.LISA
You want I should drive tonight. Might be just the thing.Marcus holds his arm out to her.
MARCUS
Yes. It just might.Lisa walks over and takes his hand. They walk inside the house.
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Brenda Lynn’s Favorite Twists!
What I learned doing this assignment is that creating twists makes the story more intriguing and exciting. It is great to have this technique in my wheelhouse.
My FIVE favorites:
1) It Just Got Worse ============== It Just Got Better
It Just Got Worse: Lisa finds out that someone at the FBI has reported back to Marcus that they know where the painting is.
It Just Got Better: She knows the location of the painting.
2) Trap/Trick ===================== Escape
Trap/Trick: Lisa has just recovered the painting, but Marcus and his crew have arrived.
Escape: She hides the painting and climbs to the rooftop.
3) Danger ========================= Safety
Danger: Lisa’s position is jeopardized with Marcus discovers a mole in his group.
Safety: They make love and Lisa feels that her position is secure.
4) Unexpected Weapon ============= Surprising Response
Unexpected Weapon: Lisa battles her way out of the pursuit on the rooftop.
Surprising Response: The FBI fires at her as well as Marcus.
5) Reversal ====================== Reverse the Reversal
Reversal: Lisa turns the painting over to the FBI.
Reverse the Reversal: The painting is a counterfeit.
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Brenda Lynn’s Likability/Empathy/Justification
What I learned doing this assignment is this is a great way to add empathy for the character. I’ve been trying to figure this out for other scripts so, believe me, this is a tool going into the toolbox. The tangibility of creating this ethereal quality is terrific.
LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY
A. Other people like or respect the character: She was a talented ballet dancer turned Israeli soldier.
B. The character shows love for something: She loves the art of ballet, but is unable to do it anymore.
C. They’re trying to do something good: She teaches children ballet.
D. Save the cat — rescue or do something good for someone else: Several kids are making fun of one girl. Lisa takes them on.
E. Funny, humorous, witty: She uses humor to get the little girl to stop crying.
F. Kindness: She encourages the young girl. You can be anything you want to be.
G. Good moral decisions and actions. Being on the right side: She wants to return stolen artwork to its rightful owner.EMPATHY / DISTRESS
A. Undeserved misfortune: Because of an injury, she is no longer able to perform as a ballerina.
B. External Character conflicts: Marcus suspect her at first. She has to convince him to trust her.
C. Plot intruding on life: In her past, her family’s artwork was stolen during WWII.
D. Moral dilemmas: She must choose between returning the painting to the FBI or returning it to the painting to the original owner.
E. Forced decisions they’d never make: Sleeping with Marcus.
F. Wound attacked: Stripped of their wealth, she had to come up through poverty. She resents this position.JUSTIFICATION
A. The character or their family abused: Stripped of their wealth, she had to come up through poverty. She resents this position.
B. Threatened by others: She is in a dangerous situation on her own. She has to use her wits to survive.
C. The Hero is the victim of attacks: She is chased by the mob.D. They’ve suffered major losses: She’s orphaned. Her parents were in the Secret Service and died under mysterious circumstances.
E. The Villain or their representatives have trespassed: She has to seduce Marcus in order to get the paintings back. She has to harden herself to sleep with him in order to find out where the artwork is.2. Organize them into a sequence that happens in the first Act of your script and tell us the story in a concise form (like I did for John Wick and Salt above).
Sequence for Act 1:
Ballet music plays. Lisa watches a video of her past performance in Gisele.
Children begin to arrive. She gets ready to teach them ballet when she sees a young girl being bullied outside of the classroom.
She stands up for the child and runs off the bullies.
She talks to the child, letting her know that their meanness has nothing to do with her. She can be anything she want to be.
In her history, artwork was stolen from her great grandparents by the Nazis during WWII. She is searching for the return of this artwork.
A special task force is formed to find stolen art and return to the documented owners.
Lisa is the perfect woman for the job. She has a history and understands the heartache of the stolen artwork.
As an orphan, she has been on her own for a long time. Her parents worked for the Secret Service and died under mysterious circumstances.
Lisa was brought into the country’s ballet program and was on the path to be a great dancer when an injury brought all of that to a crashing end.
Hardened by the experience, she accepts the fact the she must seduce Marcus to get the artwork back.
She uses her body and wit to get through dangerous circumstances and to correct long-standing injustices.
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Brenda Lynn’s Story Map
What I learned doing this assignment is that this tool is a great way to add depth, layers and dimension to the story. It seems like a more holistic approach to creating the story as opposed to imposing things on top of the initial outline, the layers become the driving forces.
Opening: Lisa trains with an elite soldier of Israeli fighters. She is recruited into a special task force to recover stolen artwork.
M1: Lisa is determined to recover artwork that has been stolen and return the items to their rightful owners.
A1: (Fight) Lisa trains with an elite soldier of Israeli fighters. She is recruited into a special task force to recover stolen artwork.
Inciting Incident: Marcus de Luca’s son is convicted for embezzlement and is sentenced to serve 20 years in federal prison. Marcus wants to use a stolen master piece by Rembrandt to get his son out of prison.
M2: She is recruited to infiltrate the Mob’s inner circle.
V1: Marcus’ son has been thrown in prison. He wants to use a piece of stolen artwork to as his “Get out of Jail Free” card.
A2: (Pursuit) Lisa is actually the pursuer, although Marcus, the mob boss, doesn’t realize that.
Purpose: Lisa’s ability to charm without giving away her true intentions.A3: (Dangerous Situation) Marcus’ son has been thrown in prison. He wants to use a piece of stolen artwork to as his “Get out of Jail Free” card. Lisa overhears where they are transporting the item.
First Turning Point at end of Act 1: Lisa lets Marcus seduce her and she gets into Marcus’ inner circle so she can get more information about the location of the painting.
M3: She has to get into the inner circle to find out where the artwork is begin stored.
V2: Marcus purchases the painting for $100 million. Now to get the painting back into the country without being discovered.
A4: Lisa chats up Marcus getting details as to where the painting is going without him realizing that is what she is doing.
Mid-Point: The painting is brought back into the country and put in a warehouse by LaGuardia airport.
M4: She discovers the artwork and works out a plan to get it out of the warehouse.
V3: Marcus de Luca wants to bed Lisa which clouds his judgment.
V4: With the urgency to get the painting into his possession, he takes a phone call in front of Lisa. She gets the information that she needs.
V5: He sets up a plan to have the painting stored in a warehouse near the Laguardia Airport.A5: (Deception) He has to secretly get the painting into the warehouse.
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2: Someone at the FBI tells Marcus that they know where the painting is going to be hidden.
M5: Her position inside the circle is jeopardized.
V6: When she relays the information to the FBI, it becomes clear that there is a mole inside the FBI. She has to figure out who it is before she is exposed.
V7: He gets the painting transferred to the warehouse.A6: (Dangerous Situation) Someone at the FBI tells Marcus that they know where the painting is going to be hidden.
Crisis: Lisa has to get to the painting and get out without damaging it. Marcus and his crew show up at the warehouse.
M6: She gets the painting but has to figure out how to get out without damaging the painting or getting killed.
V8: Marcus goes to the warehouse to get the artwork.
A7: (Rescue) Lisa recovers the painting.
Climax: Marcus pursues Lisa to the rooftop. They struggle over the painting. When the FBI shoots at both of them, Lisa knows she can’t trust the FBI.
In a final battle she pushes Marcus off the roof.
M7: List has to get away from Marcus. Hides the painting and runs to the rooftop.
V9: In retaliation, Marcus pursues Lisa to the rooftop of the building. He fights with her in an attempt to get the paintings back and to exact his revenge.A8: (Escape) Lisa has to escape without damaging or losing the painting.
A9: (Dangerous Situation) Marcus closes in on her location in the building.
A10: (Fight) Marcus pursues Lisa onto the rooftop. They fight hand-to-hand
A11: (Shootout) FBI flies over in a helicopter. They begin shooting at Marcus, but risk hitting Lisa as well.Resolution: Lisa returns the painting to the FBI. And then disappears. They discover the painting is a fake. Did Marcus swap out the painting or did Lisa?
M8: Lisa turns the painting over, but it turns out to be a forgery. What happened to the original painting? Can you say sequel?
A12: (Dangerous Situation) Marcus holds her over the ledge. She does a flip kick hurling him off of the building.
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Brenda Lynn’s Action Structure!
What I learned doing this assignment is that having the three tracks made putting the stucture together much easier and essentially more organic process. Love it. I like creating structure and this process made it so much fun.
Opening: Lisa trains with an elite soldier of Israeli fighters. She is recruited into a special task force to recover stolen artwork.
Inciting Incident: Marcus de Luca’s son is convicted for embezzlement and is sentenced to serve 20 years in federal prison. Marcus wants to use a stolen master piece by Rembrandt to get his son out of prison.
First Turning Point at end of Act 1: Lisa lets Marcus seduce her and she gets into Marcus’ inner circle so she can get more information about the location of the painting.
Mid-Point: The painting is brought back into the country and put in a warehouse by LaGuardia airport.
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2: Someone at the FBI tells Marcus that they know where the painting is going to be hidden.
Crisis: Lisa has to get to the painting and get out without damaging it. Marcus and his crew show up at the warehouse.
Climax: Marcus pursues Lisa to the rooftop. They struggle over the painting. When the FBI shoots at both of them, Lisa knows she can’t trust the FBI. In a final battle she pushes Marcus off the roof.
Resolution: Lisa returns the painting to the FBI. And then disappears. They discover the painting is a fake. Did Marcus swap out the painting or did Lisa? -
Brenda Lynn’s Action Track!
What I learned doing this assignment is that creating an action track helps to build the story visual adding conflict and dynamics to the story.
1. Answer the Action Questions:
A. Considering the concept from Lesson 1, what action could naturally show up in this movie?
Chase/Pursuit, Fight, Shootout, Rescue, Escape/Evade, Dangerous Situations, InterrogationB. Considering the Mission and Villain Tracks, what action could work for this track?
Chase/Pursuit, Fight, Shootout, Rescue, Escape/Evade, Dangerous Situations, InterrogationC. How can the action start well, build in the 2nd Act, and escalate to a climax in the 3rd Act?
Fight, Pursuit, Dangerous Situation, Interrogation, Rescue, Escape/Evade, Dangerous Situation, Fight, Shootout, Dangerous Situation2. Select the types of action you’ll use.
Chase/Pursuit, Fight, Shootout, Rescue, Escape/Evade, Dangerous Situations, InterrogationB. Considering the Mission and Villain Tracks, what action could work for this track?
Chase/Pursuit, Fight, Shootout, Rescue, Escape/Evade, Dangerous Situations, Interrogation3. Sequence the action scenes to deliver your story. Give us your list of action scenes and the purpose of each scene.
Fight: Lisa trains with an elite time of Israeli fighters. She is recruited into a special task force to recover stolen artwork.
Purpose: We see her skills in martial arts, her grace and beauty and her street smarts.Pursuit: Lisa is actually the pursuer, although Marcus, the mob boss, doesn’t realize that.
Purpose: Lisa’s ability to charm without giving away her true intentions.Dangerous Situation: Marcus’ son has been thrown in prison. He wants to use a piece of stolen artwork to as his “Get out of Jail Free” card. Lisa overhears where they are transporting the item.
Purpose: We see Lisa’s intelligence and ability to remain cool under pressure.Interrogation: Lisa chats up Marcus getting details as to where the painting is going without him realizing that is what she is doing.
Purpose: Lisa’s ability to charm and gain people’s trust.Dangerous Situation: Someone at the FBI tells Marcus that they know where the painting is going to be.
Purpose: This puts pressure on Lisa to get the painting before it can be moved again. Plus, it shines a spotlight on the fact that she might actually be working for the FBI.
Rescue: Lisa recovers the painting.
Purpose: A victory for Lisa, but the triumph is short-lived when Marcus and his gang arrive to retrieve the painting.Escape/Evade: Lisa has to escape without damaging or losing the painting.
Purpose: Shows her ability to think on her feet when plans have changed.Dangerous Situation: Marcus closes in on her location in the building.
Purpose: Escalates the threatening situation.Fight: Marcus pursues Lisa onto the rooftop. The fight hand-to-hand
Purpose: Escalating the tension and reducing the battle down to just the two of them.Shootout: FBI flies over in a helicopter. They begin shooting at Marcus, but risk hitting Lisa as well.
Purpose: Lisa realizes that she is expendable to the FBI.Dangerous Situation: Marcus holds her over the ledged. She does a flip kick hurling him off of the building.
Purpose: Quick but satisfying ending. -
Brenda Lynn’s Villain Track!
What I learned doing this assignment is that exploring this aspect of the Villain’s story helps to deepen the layers and motivations for the character, making him a seemingly insurmountable foe.
A. What might be the Villain’s plan to accomplish an evil outcome or to annihilate the hero? Marcus de Luca has plans to use the artwork to reduce, if not eliminate his son’s prison sentence. If he discovers what LL is up to, he will torture and kill her.
B. How many ways can the Villain attack or destroy the hero? He can personally attack her, he can send his soldiers to strangle her, bomb her car, gun her down.
C. What advantage does the Villain have and how can they exploit that in this movie? Marcus has a troop of soldiers that will fight for him and help him achieve his goals.
D. What would be a “fitting end” for this Villain where they pay for what they’ve done? With the loss of the painting, his son will remain in jail and he gets thrown in jail as well. Mob wars will begin and possible destroy the faction.
2. Include labels with each step of their plan.
Develop your own set of labels, but make sure you clearly show decisions, plans, and actions your Villain takes.
TRAPPED: Marcus’ son has been thrown in prison. He wants to use a piece of stolen artwork to as his “Get out of Jail Free” card.
PURCHASE: Marcus purchases the painting for $100 million. Now to get the painting back into the country without being discovered.
MISTAKE: Marcus de Luca wants to bed Lisa which clouds his judgment.
DILEMMA: With the urgency to get the painting into his possession, he takes a phone call in front of Lisa. She gets the information that she needs.
DECEPTION: When she relays the information to the FBI, it becomes clear that there is a mole inside the FBI. She has to figure out who it is before she is exposed.
PLAN: He sets up a plan to have the painting stored in a warehouse near the Laguardia Airport.
PLAN/HIDING OUT: He gets the painting transferred to the warehouse.
CAPTURE: Lisa finds the paintings. Hides in the walls to get the painting out of the building.
RETALIATION: In retaliation, Marcus pursues Lisa to the rooftop of the building.
HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT: They battle on the rooftop.
FITTING ENDING: Lisa pushes him off of the building in order to save her own life.
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Brenda Lynn’s Hero’s Mission Track
What I learned doing this assignment is that building the Hero’s motivation and mission makes for a strong spine for the story. Just getting the answers down on paper helps to make it possible to make the story deeper and strong.
MISSION TRACK
A. What is it about this Hero that will have them go straight into the face of the overwhelming odds? Lisa is determined to recover a sense of self and purpose. Recovering the stolen art will help heal her wounds.B. What is the mission that would be an impossible goal? To recover missing stolen artwork from a mob boss utilizing the artwork as leverage.
C. What strong internal and external motivation could drive the hero? Externally, she has been trained for spying and espionage.
D. Imagine that mission playing out across a story. What could naturally happen if this hero went on this mission against this villain? Her life is at risk and she gains access to the inner circle and an intimacy with the mob boss.
MISSION STEPS:
Clear Mission:
Motivation: Lisa is determined to recover artwork that has been stolen and return the items to their rightful owners.Inciting Incident: The Mob boss’ son is convicted and thrown in jail. He will do anything to get his son out. He buys a stolen piece of art.
First Action: She is recruited to infiltrate the Mob’s inner circle.
Obstacle: She has no idea where the artwork is.
Escalation: She becomes closer to the mob boss, but she is followed.
Overwhelming Odds: She is constantly being watched and must work in the dark and, literally, behind the walls, to achieve her goal.
New Plan: She discovers the artwork and works out a plan to get it out of the vault.
Full out Attack: She has to escape with artwork in her possession.
Success: She returns the artwork to the FBI. The mobster gets thrown in prison.
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Brenda Lynn’s Hero and Villain
What I learned doing this assignment is to have fun playing out scenarios to find the ones with the most potential for conflict and action.
Concept:
Hero Morally Right: Her purpose is to reclaim art and return to the original owner.
Villain Morally Wrong: Villain is using art as leverage to get out of serving prison sentence.Hero: Lisa Lazar
A. Unique Skill Set: Background of gymnastics and ballet, with martial arts training makes her a unique fighter.
B. Motivation: Revenge
C. Secret or Wound: Her grandparents wealth was stolen in WWII and she wants it backVillain: Marcus de Luca
A. Unbeatable: As capo of his family, he has an endless squad of soldiers who will fight for him.
B. Plan/Goal: To utilize the artwork to get out of a prison sentence
C. What they lose if Hero survives: He will end up serving a life-sentence and war will break out amongst the families to be the next ruling class.Impossible Mission
A. Puts Hero in Action: This is her first assignment
B. Demands They Go Beyond Their Best: She must use her brains as well as her body to get in and get out with the painting without being discovered.
C. Destroy the Villain: She finds the painting, gets it out so that he has no leverage with U.S. Justice system. He goes to jail and mob wars will begin. -
Brenda Lynn’s Conventions!
What I learned doing this assignment is that this process can actually be fun when you don’t think about making mistakes or being wrong. Ideas come flooding in and you actually can make choices of which direction to take the story. If it doesn’t work, there are options. If there is no answer, wait and one will arrive.
Concept: Because of her past ballet experience, a new recruit in the Israeli army is brought into a secret mission to return artwork stolen by the Nazi’s in WWII to the descendants of the rightful owners.
Hero: Athletic, specifically-trained and female, she is less likely to be suspected of stealing back these paintings and artifacts from people harboring them. Her grandparents and other relatives were killed in the Holocaust. She grew up poor and her family has had to rebuild its wealth and status in the world. Brooding resentment boils underneath.
Demand For Action: Lots of action in that the artwork will be locked, hidden away and held be criminals.
Mission: To get Rembrandt’s The Storm on the Sea of Galilee back from the mob boss that currently has it in his possession.
Antagonist: Head of mob-syndicate that holds the painting hostage in case he is arrested. He can use it for leverage to get a reduced, if not an erased sentence.
Escalating Action: First, she has to find him, get in his good graces, steal the painting and escape.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by Brenda Bynum.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by
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Brend Lynn Bynum – I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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1. Brenda Lynn Bynum
2. I’ve written 3 features, 3 TV pilots and 1 novel
3. To learn key elements in Action films and how to write out the choreography of scenes.
4. I had the opportunity to document Maya elders in Guatemala.
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Brenda Lynn’s Profound Map Version 1
What I learned doing this assignment is to begin by answering the questions and filling in the blanks. Trust myself that the answer will come and that I will be able to create a Profound Map and ultimately a profound story.
TITLE: NAJT OF THE JAGUAR
WRITTEN BY: Brenda Lynn Bynum
1. What is Your Profound Truth?
To look beyond superficial expectations to find the deeper meaning of life.
2. What is the Transformational Journey?
Old Ways: Living life on screens and avoiding contact with people
Journey: After making plans to study the art in the caves of Lascaux, David has to study in Tikal without the use of, his tech so his must face life head-on.
New Ways: Understanding the importance of a spiritual, grateful existence.
Transformational Logline:
An ego-centric anthropology student hides behind technology and artificial self-imposed goals, to avoid connecting has his world turned upside down when his Celt Iberian professor sends him to his last choice on the list, the jungles of Tikal, where he must learn how to live with nature and open himself up to a spiritual life in order to survive and thrive with the Maya.
3. Who are Your Lead Characters?
Change Agent (the one causing the change):
Appo, knows that the Maya will need help to share their message. He feels that David is the man to do the job. He has tried to share the message himself but has not been able to go beyond Guate’s borders.
Transformable Character(s) (the one who makes the change):
David, the tech-dependent, ego-centric student thinks that his work at school is there to help him achieve is artificially imposed goals. He discovers that learning, especially spiritually, is the way to live a fulfilled life.
Betraying Character (if you have one):
Don Pedro, who doesn’t think David is dedicated enough or deep enough to understand the task at hand.
Oppression:
Modern life with competition and disconnection contributes to the lack of spiritual satisfaction.
4. How Do You Connect With Your Audience in the Beginning of the Movie?
Change Agent:
Father Sean
A. Relatability – Trying to do his best for his students
B. Intrigue – He is a Celt Iberian – he reads Runes
C. Empathy – His student doesn’t understand why he is changing the plan
D. Likability – He loves life
Change Agent:
Appo
A. Relatability – He dyes his hair, a sign of vanity in the spiritual man. He is not a saint
B. Intrigue – His understanding of the Cosmos
C. Empathy – He is one of the last of his kind
D. Likability –He plays the harmonica and is happy with life.
Transformable Character:
David Lazar
A. Relatability – David has a plan for his life, but it is not in his control. Someone else makes the decision for him.
B. Intrigue – He is in competition with his brother. He wants to be the youngest PhD student at Columbia University. Will the change in these studies jeopardize his plans?
C. Empathy – He is the second son who is constantly being compared to his brilliant older brother.
D. Likability – He keeps trying even though his hopes and dreams have been dashed.
5. What is the Gradient of the Change?
EMOTIONAL GRADIENT (Forced Change):
David had plan to spend his summer studying in Lascaux, France, but is forced to go to Tikal where he knows nothing, not even the language, of the Maya people. He will have to learn from experience, not just books.
Denial: Keeps learning French, Goes to Art Museum, Shows up at Frank’s Orientation for Lascaux. He planned to go to Lascaux. It is the top prize and he deserves it.
Anger: He goes to where Frank works and confronts him of stealing the position that he deserves. They get it a fight. His sense of entitlement makes him blind to the opportunity.
Bargaining: Tells Appo that he will be there for a couple of weeks, but then he will go in France. David tries to take notes, but nothing electronic works in Tikal. He has to go analog.
Depression: Monkeys have destroyed his room, eaten his books. Appo teaches him about the fire ceremony and the importance of gratitude. He is so busy trying to get what he feels entitled to that he can’t see the beauty around him.
Acceptance: He hands over his last electronic device and begins to learn the ways of the Maya. He will soon have to make the choice of fulfilling his dream or following his destiny.
ACTION GRADIENT
Setup:
David is at the top of his class.
He has done everything right to achieve his goal of going to Lascaux, France to study.
Humiliated on Social Media, David has to decide whether to risk losing his dream or achieving it in spite of the change.
Journey:
Father Sean wants to send David to Tikal.
David struggles against the change which leads to a fight that goes viral on Social Media.
He accepts his fate and goes to Tikal to do battle with the elements.
Through Appo, he begins to accept that he doesn’t need gadgets to get through life.
He has to face the ultimate challenge – spending one night alone in the jungle.
When he learns of Appo’s limited time here on earth, David must choose between achieving his goals or fulfilling his destiny.
Payoff:
Once he is accepted by the Maya, he can use his technical skills to document the story.
He accepts that his brother’s dream is not his own.
He decides to stay in Tikal to learn to become a Maya priest.
The world owes him nothing, but his gratitude for life makes all the difference.
CHALLENGE/WEAKNESS GRADIENT
Challenge: He planned to go to Lascaux. It is the top prize and he deserves it.
Weakness: Competitiveness, PlannerChallenge: His sense of entitlement makes him blind to the opportunity.
Weakness: Confrontational and controlling
Challenge: David tries to take notes, but nothing electronic works in Tikal. He has to go analog.
Weakness: Sense of entitlement and control.
Challenge: Appo teaches him about the fire ceremony.
Weakness: So busy look inside, that he can’t see the beauty on the outside. Tries one more time to go to Lascaux.
Challenge: He has to make the choice of fulfilling his dream or following his destiny.
Weakness: He has to decide what is the most important thing in his life: dreams or destiny.
6. What is the Transformational Structure of Your Story?
MM #1 – Status Quo and Call to Adventure: (Pages 1 – 15) – David is the top of his class so he is anticipating (as he has done all semester and basically of his life) that he will win the coveted position of going to Lascaux, France to study the artwork in the caves for the summer.
Turning Point: Call to Adventure. David’s Celt Iberian professor decides to “wound him in the thigh” and sends David to work with the Maya in the jungles of Tikal. Gradient – Denial – you can’t possibly mean it. You can’t send me to the jungles of Tikal.
Change Agent: Father Sean
Transformational Character: David
Old Ways: Digital with not contact
The Vision: Maya, do you good.
Challenge: David had a plan and a vision for his life that is not going to happen, even though he thinks he deserves it.Weakness: Can’t see the gift before him. Uses technology to try and get ahead.
MM #2 – Locked Into Conflict: (Pages 15 – 30) – David has a fight with his best friend, Frank, who is going to Lascaux instead. The fight goes viral and his brother calls to humiliate him even further. Gradient – Anger.
Turning Point: Locked in. Humiliated, David accepts the position. He has to go to Tikal or he won’t complete his Masters.
Old Ways: Technology backfires on him. Video of fight goes viral.
Challenge: Frank wins the prize that David was seeking. Thinks that Frank stole it from him.
Weaknesses: Pride. Sense of Entitlement. Bad loser.
MM #3 – Hero Tries to Solve Problem – But Fails: (Pages 30 – 45) – David attempts to go over Father Sean to the head of the school. Please let me go to Lascaux. Gradient – Bargaining.
Turning Point: Standard ways fail. – One last call from Father Sean. Either he goes to Tikal or he will have to wait another year to graduate.
Change Agent: Father Sean
Transformational Character: David
The Vision: Look out, you might learn something inside.
Old Ways: Doesn’t want to experience. Wants to follow his plan.New Ways: Has to try to learn more about the Maya.
Challenge: David had a plan and a vision for his life that is not going to happen, even though he thinks he deserves it.
Weakness: Entitled. Controlling. Inflexible.
MM #4 – Hero Forms a New Plan: (Pages 45 – 60) – Our hero spawns a bigger plan. He prepares for it, gathers what materials and allies he may need, then puts the plan into action — only to have it go horribly wrong, usually due to certain vital information the hero lacked about the forces of antagonism allied against him.
David attempts to use his technical savvy. He does research online and pulls it all together and places it in the Cloud so when he is in Tikal, he can send the report and be done with this nightmare.
Turning Point: Plan backfires. There is no internet service in the jungle, he is going to have to write is paper on his own with a pencil and paper. Gradient – Depression (writes a half-hearted paper).
The Vision: Connecting with people is the best way to learn.
Old Ways: Tries to use technology to end around the problem.New Ways: He is going to have to go to Tikal and hand write the paper.
Challenge: Tries to write the report in advance, but discovers there is no access to the Cloud in the jungle.
Weakness: Lazy. Easy button.
Midpoint: Travels to Tikal. Meets Appo, his guide.
Old Ways: Computer and phone don’t work.
New Ways: Has to learn to communicate in analog format.
Challenge: Everything is different from the life he is accustomed to.
Weakness: Self-involved. Egocentric.
MM #5 – Hero Retreats & The Antagonism (Change Agent) Prevails: (Pages 60 – 75) – Meeting Appo who is giving David a chance. They learn about the fire ceremony and Maya’s view of time.
Turning Point: The decision to change. David gives Appo his last digital device, his Fit Bit watch. Gradient – Acceptance.
The Vision: It is possible to learn beyond books.
Old Ways: Tries to time the event, but gets mesmerized by the fire ceremony.New Ways: Learns about gratitude and forgiveness. Instead of entitlement, David is becoming grateful.
Challenge: Timing and controlling are no longer required. What’s his purpose then?
Weakness: Hides behind technology which he no longer has.
MM #6 – Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan!: (Pages 75 – 90) – David takes the challenge of spending one night in the jungle. It can’t be that difficult. But when he sees a jaguar with one green eye and one blue, that’s it. He is done.
Turning Point: The ultimate failure. He is unable to complete the task of spending the night in the jungle. (Still arrogant, he attempt to show off fails. He is scared.)
Old Ways: Relies on his arrogance to try and get him through the night.
New Ways: He learns ways of surviving in the jungle, but falls asleep and the fire goes out.
Challenge: Out of his comfort zone.
Weaknesses: Arrogance, trying to control things.
MM #7 – Crisis & Climax: (Pages 90 – 105) – David does a vision quest. He learns of the sacrifices the Appo has made for him to be there in the jungle and learn. Appo is not long for this world. David has to make a choice.
Turning Point: Apparent victory. He has to decide whether to go back and complete his masters or stay and learn from Appo. (He learns an invaluable lesson about life and connection.)
New Ways: David sacrifices his career to stay and study with Appo.
Vision: This is David’s destiny, not just his dream.
Challenge: Will Maya accept David?
Weaknesses: Vulnerability. Control.
MM #8 New Status Quo: (Pages 105 – 120) – David abandons his dream of getting a Masters and stays to study with Appo and the Maya.
New Way: David, with the help of the Appo and Maya elders, is going to become an Aj’qi.
Profound Truth: Sometimes you have to give up your dream in order to fulfill your destiny.
7. How are the “Old Ways” Challenged?
What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?
A. Challenge through Questioning
Why does David have to changes his plans?
Father Sean Questions the value of the digital world in people’s lives.
Is competition really that important? How does it impact the quality of life?
Is the documentation of an experience as impactful as actually living it?
B. Challenge by Counterexample
Appo is content with the world without a digital slant.
Accepting that everyone has a role to play in life and that makes us all equal.
Father Sean’s and Appo’s lifestyle
With Appo’s pending death, David has to change his life.
Appo trusts that David will help make a difference in their world.
David tries to use his gadgets in the jungle, but they don’t work.
David experiences life through his books until the monkeys take them away.
Father Sean and Appo are both examples of men who have lived great lives without the use of electronics.
C. Challenge by “Should Work, But Doesn’t”
David points out to Father Sean that he is the best in his class and therefore should be going to the top prize location – Lascaux, France. Father Sean points out that because he is the top of his class, he is going to receive the most difficult challenge – a summer in the jungles of Tikal.
Utilizing his family’s clout with the University, David tries to get his place back. It backfires when Father Sean tells him either he goes or he loses his place in line for a PhD.
Thinking he is the best at everything, David picks a fight with his best friend who ends up going to France. He lose the fight to Frank who grew up fighting in the streets of the Bronx.
David tries to use the Cloud to get his report done so that he can get out of the jungle of Tikal. However, there is no access to the Cloud in the jungle. He is going to have to write his thoughts down the analog way – paper and pencil.
Arrogantly thinking that the world must cater to him, David attempts to spend one night alone in the jungle, but fails at it.
D. Challenge through Living Metaphor
Late for his appointment with Father Sean, David has to go down a spiral fire escape which becomes symbolic for the Maya belief system of space time called Najt.
David journey in the airport in Guate becomes symbolic of the different views of time.
Trying to time the fire ceremony, David learns the truth about time and the fire of life.
Spending a night in the jungle, David has to learn to rely on himself and not his gadgets to survive a night in the jungle.
David, after learning that Appo is dying, must choose between fulfilling his dreams of becoming the youngest Ph.D. at Columbia University or study with this man who knows the ancient ways of living a fulfilled life. David lets go of his dreams in order to fulfill his destiny.
8. How are You Presenting Insights through Profound Moments?
A. Action delivers insight
Action: David accepts his trip to Guatemala by getting a backpack and learning Spanish.
Insight: Step out of your comfort zone in order to grow.
Action: David does battle with mosquitoes and wins with Bounce.
Insight: David can make his own path in his new environment.
Action: Meeting and bonding with Appo because he shares food and water.
Insight: Thinking of others can be a reward in and of itself.
Action: David begins to time the fire ceremony but is so enthralled that he forgets his plan. He turns his watch over at the end of the ceremony.
Insight: David decides not to capture time, but to learn from it.
Action: David has one more venture into Internet world and realizes that it is more frightening than the jungles of Tikal.
Insight: What is shown to us is not necessarily the truth of the world.
B. Conflict delivers insight
Plan Goes Wrong: David plans to go to Lascaux and ends up in Tikal instead.
Insight: David has to learn to live in his life.
Competition: David competes with his brother to be the best student of Anthropology. His standard is “time.” Who can do it the fastest?
Insight: David can love his brother without competing with him.
Power Struggle: David thinks because he is the best student that he should get the choice of where he wants to study. Father Sean thinks differently.
Insight: Life owes you nothing. It is up to you to experience all you can.
Dilemma: David has to choose between being the youngest PhD student ever or study with the Maya and become a priest.
Insight: Sometimes you have to let go of your dream to fulfill your destiny.
Physical Confrontation: David tries to beat up Frank for taking his spot.
Insight: He doesn’t win and loses more than just the fight.
Public humiliation: He’s defeat goes viral on Social Media.
Insight: Social Media devours David when the video of his fight goes viral.
Stakes raised: David finds out that Appo is not long for this world. If he doesn’t stay many secrets will die with Appo.
Insight: David has to give up his dream to fulfill his destiny.
C. Irony delivers insight
David plans to the youngest Ph.D. candidate and ends up studying to be a Maya priest.
Insight: Giving up dream to fulfill destiny.
When David’s tech gadgets disappear one by one, he has to learn to actual be in life, not just take pictures of it.
Insight: Experience life instead of just reading about it is invaluable.
He times the fire ceremony only to become entranced by the experience. He eventually sacrifices his last gadget—his FitBit watch. He begins to be “in” his life, instead of watching it from the sidelines. He gives up the counting of time in order to actually exist in time.
Insight: There are many dimensions to time.
David is forced to spend one night alone in the jungle. Once he learns how to live in nature, he can relax and enjoy the experience.
Insight: Look up and experience life.
9. What are the Most Profound Lines of the Movie?
Pattern A: Height of the Emotion
When David finds out that he is not going to fulfill his dream of going to Lascaux, but ends up assigned to Tikal instead.
“Jungle, Tikal, the Maya—do you good.”
His brother makes David feel that no matter what he does, he will always come in second.
“Where you are end in the race is a position. How you take the journey is the true measurement.”
David first experience with the Maya Fire Ceremony.
“Life from afar is fascinating. But even with the pain, life from within is exhilarating.”
David finds out that his spiritual guide, Appo, is not long for this world.
“Life is an empty vessel. Only you can choose what to put inside.”
David must choose between his old dreams and his new destiny.
“A man has many dreams in life, but only one destiny.”
Pattern B: Build Meaning Over Multiple Scenes
1. “What goes around comes around.”
Frank says it to David when confronted about the Lascaux switch.
Father Sean reminds David that his actions will have consequences.
Appo uses it to explain that what is sent out into the cosmos will someday return into your life.
2. “Look outward. You will be amazed at what you discover inside.”
Father Sean says it to David when he tells him that he is going to Tikal instead of Lascaux.
When Appo sees David wrapped up in his technology gadgets.
When David experiences his vision quest.
3. “Life is an empty vessel. What are you going to put inside?”
Father Sean says it to David when he sends him to Tikal instead of France.
Father Sean says it to David when he wants to leave Tikal.
Father Sean says it again when David tells him that he is going to stay in Tikal to become a Maya priest.
10. How Do You Leave Us With A Profound Ending?
1. Profound Truth: There are times when you have to give up your dream in order to fulfill your destiny.
2. The Change: David, realizing that Appo is not long for this world, gives up his dream of being the youngest PhD candidate at Columbia University in order to fulfill his destiny of learning Maya culture and becoming a Aj’qi (Maya priest).
3. Setup/Payoffs: His fight for his dream at the beginning becomes his fight for his destiny at the end. The beginning desire is to see art in a cave. The payoff is that he discovers his soul in a cave. His skill as a scholar (the head) is much more powerful when he has learned to share someone else’s knowledge (the heart).
4. Surprise: It appears as if David is going to go back to New York to complete his degree, but at the last moment, he chucks the offer letter and goes to Appo. After David performs the Maya gratitude ceremony, they enter the cave together.
5. Parting Image/Line: As David enters the cave with Appo, “A dream is for today, a destiny is for your lifetime.”
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Brenda Lynn Builds Meaning with Dialogue
ASSIGNMENT 2: Build Meaning Over Multiple Experiences
What I learned from this experience is how to create setups and payoffs for lines of dialogue. This can be such an satisfying experience for an audience and deepens the profound journey of the story. Great tool for the toolbox. When I first started this assignment, I didn’t think it would be possible. But it is an amazing process when it is achieved.
1. “What goes around comes around.”
Frank says it to David when confronted about the Lascaux switch.
Father Sean reminds David that his actions will have consequences.
Appo uses it to explain that what is sent out into the cosmos will someday return into your life.
2. “Look outward. You will be amazed at what you discover inside.”
Father Sean says it to David when he tells him that he is going to Tikal instead of Lascaux.
When Appo sees David wrapped up in his technology gadgets.
When David experiences his vision quest.
3. “Life is an empty vessel. What are you going to put inside?”
Father Sean says it to David when he sends him to Tikal instead of France.
Father Sean says it to David when he wants to leave Tikal.
Father Sean says it again when David tells him that he is going to stay in Tikal to become a Maya priest.
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Brenda Lynn’s Height of the Emotion
What I learned doing this assignment is how to utilize the big emotional moments of the story to create memorable dialogue. These lines add depth and add to the gradient profound change that takes place in the story.
ASSIGNMENT 1: Height of the Emotion
When David finds out that he is not going to fulfill his dream of going to Lascaux, but ends up assigned to Tikal instead.
“Jungle, Tikal, the Maya—do you good.”
His brother makes David feel that no matter what he does, he will always come in second.
“Where you are end in the race is a position. How you take the journey is the true measurement.”
David first experience with the Maya Fire Ceremony.
“Life from afar is fascinating. But even with the pain, life from within is exhilarating.”
David finds out that his spiritual guide, Appo, is not long for this world.
“Life is an empty vessel. Only you can choose what to put inside.”
David must choose between his old dreams and his new destiny.
“A man has many dreams in life, but only one destiny.”
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Brenda Lynn Delivers Irony
What I learned doing this assignment is that finding the opposite experience for insight helps to add the layer of irony. Gives the story more depth and potential for humor and opening the possibility to change. Amazingly, I had irony already incorporated into the script, but now I can do it consciously, utilizing this tool. Yay!
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
Life is what happens when you are making other plans.
Technology is not all that it is cracked up to be.
To learn from experience and not the documentation of the experience.
Living in harmony with the elements.
Step 2. How could you deliver that insight through opposite experiences?
David plans to the youngest Ph.D candidate and ends up studying to be a Maya priest.
David has been deprived of Internet access for a month. When he gets back on, he discovers that the Internet is more frightening than spending one night alone in the jungle.
When David’s tech gadgets disappear one by one, he has to learn to actual be in life, not just take pictures of it.
He times the fire ceremony only to become entranced by the experience. He eventually sacrifices his last gadget—his FitBit watch. He begins to be “in” his life, instead of watching it from the sidelines. He gives up the counting of time in order to actually exist in time.
David is forced to spend one night alone in the jungle. Once he learns how to live in nature, he can relax and enjoy the experience.
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Brenda Lynn Delivers Insights Through Conflict
What I learned doing this assignment is having the New Ways / Insights list is such a tremendous help to building an interesting story that continues to build as it moves towards its profound conclusion. Answering these questions in advance will help so much with the writing (and rewriting process). It has also helped to strengthen the insights. Really love this technique of starting with the insight to be achieved and working backwards to create the steps to get there.
Part 1: New Ways / Insights
Step 1: #1. Opening up and moving out of your comfort zone.
Step 2 Type of Conflict:
Competition, Power struggle, Dilemma, Physical confrontation, Public humiliation, Stakes raised, Plan goes wrong, Misunderstanding
Step 3 Delivering Insight through Conflict
Plan goes wrong: David plans to go to Lascaux and ends up in Tikal instead.
Competition: David competes with his brother to be the best student of Anthropology. His standard is “time.” Who can do it the fastest?
Power Struggle: David thinks because he is the best student that he should get the choice of where he wants to study. Father Sean thinks differently.
Dilemma: David has to choose between being the youngest PhD student ever or study with the Maya and become a priest.
Physical Confrontation: David tries to beat up Frank for taking his spot.
Public humiliation: He’s defeat goes viral on Social Media.
Stakes raised: David finds out that Appo is not long for this world. If he doesn’t stay many secrets will die with Appo.
Misunderstanding: Through his lack of understanding, David’s actions are misinterpreted by the Maya.
Part 2: 5 ways to use conflict to express insight
(D) Making plans and then find out that you have to do something completely different.
(C) Relying on technology and then having it taken away from you.
(C) Living in the lap of luxury, then moving to the jungle with only the bare essentials to sustain you.
(A) Trying to compete in life as opposed to realizing life is a result of your actions.
(B) Having a goal in life, but then finding out what your destiny is.
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SEABISCUIT Profound Moments
There were many profound moments in this movie. Three characters who are broken and beaten down come together to raise up a horse that has also been broken and trained to lose. Working together they all become the winning team of “Seabiscuit.”
The great open spaces and wild horses were about to be a thing of the past.
Bicycles (and horses) are going to be replaced by cars.
The fence on the open range and the race cars on the road.
“The future is the finish line.” The future is coming whether we like it or not.
Horses taken out of the stables and cars put in.
Wild West has become a show instead of an actual life.
Tom calming down the agitated horse and putting the bridle on him. He has a gift.
Red earns his horse by reciting a poem by Dickens. A future jockey who reads literature and not just the daily racing forms.
“If we can start out there and end up here, where can’t we go in America.”
The 1929 Crash and the devastation that caused countless numbers of people to lose their livelihoods and their purpose in life.
“Displaced family took to the highway in the last possession that remained to them–their automobile. And all at once Americans had a new definition of “home.”
Watching Red observe the horse race and then his parents selling him. He now has a new home with his books. “You have a gift. You have a gift. We’ll be back.”
“Where’d you learn to ride like that?” Red replies, “Home.”
“How do I pay all that back?” Trainer replies, “You win.” That’s what is important in America now.
“You gonna lose like that you better fall off trying.” The sacrifices that jockeys had to make in this life.
The very thing that created his success is what killed his child. Birds flying out of the tree symbolize death.
Charles holding his son and crying. Distance at funeral. Sequence ends playing silly child’s game that is impossible to win. Closing and padlocking the barn with the cars. Wife leaving. Charles has lost everything.
Flash Gordon fighting cutting to Red fighting in a ring. The future.
When his future wife sees Charles she says, “Look at him. Nothing quick about that.”
Red reading books while sleeping in train station. Trying to make weight to ride. George’s and Red’s connection with books.
Finding out that Red is blind in the left eye but he won’t quit. He is a fighter.
Tom rescuing wounded white horse. “You don’t throw a whole life away jus’ cause he’s banged up a little.” Theme of the movie.
“You want something that’s not gonna run from a fight.” Second theme of the movie.
The first time Tom sees Seabiscuit he looks back at time with a stare that says, “What the hell are you looking at? Who do you think you are?”
When Seabiscuit is fighting the handlers and Red is fighting the other jockeys. Tom sees the spirit in both. They are a match made in heaven, or hell, as the case may be.
Red tells Seabiscuit, “I ain’t afraid of you.” They are equals.
“Seems pretty fast.” “Yeah, in every direction.”
“They’ve gotten him so screwed up running in a circle that he has forgotten what he was born to do. He just needs to learn how to be a horse again.” Red takes Seabiscuit for a ride. Runs until he stops.
When Charles looks in his son’s room. Red is reading in the barn. And Tom is sleeping outside under the stars. We see the men in their past heading to the future.
They take the padlock off the barn. Cars out and horses back in.
Seabiscuit gets friends and calms down. The three men become friends.
Learning about Seabiscuit’s need for competition.
Odds against them, but they continue to fight.
“This horse couldn’t win a church raffle.”
“You seen the size of our jockey?”
Red lets his emotions get in the way and loses the race. He’s upset that his family left him and never came back.
When Red asks to borrow $10 and Charles gives him $20. He believes in him.
Men who were shattered found their heart.
When the little guy doesn’t know he is a little guy, he does big things. This is the future. Seabiscuit is just the one to get us there.”
Cheap seats. People spending their hard-earned money to see Seabiscuit. Identified with the underdog horse.
“Though he be but little, he is fierce.” “That’s Shakespeare, fellas.”
“You show me something that’s perfect, and I’ll show you something that’s not.
“Just because we are littlier, doesn’t mean we are scared.”
“You have a date with destiny and his name is Seabiscuit.”
Tick Tock McLaughlin represents the turn of the people to support Seabiscuit.
Odds against Seabiscuit to win the race.
They find out that Red is blind in one eye, but keep him as the jockey –
“Even when life beats him by the nose.”
“You either pack up and go home or you keep fighting.”
Odds against Seabiscuit. They retrain him at night.
Red’s “accident.” His buddy George coming into ride the big race.
The retraining of Seabiscuit after his injury.
Red finding out that George is going to ride the horse. “And this, the most unkindest cut of all.”
“He’s as much my horse as he is yours.”
George’s says to Charles, “I think it’s better to break a man’s leg than his heart.”
The child’s game payoff. “Just let him ride, Charles. Just let him do it.”
Charles gives Red the chance to win Santa Anita which he does. Seabiscuit is a 7-year old horse running against 3-year olds.
ASSIGNMENT 2
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Brenda Lynn’s Turns Insights Into Action
What I learned doing this assignment is by discovering the profound moments in Seabiscuit and articulating them, it has helped me to forge these moments into my script, not just with dialogue, but by incorporating action to demonstrate the change.
1. Create a list of the New Ways and Insights you’d like audiences to experience when they watch your movie.
1. Opening yourself up and moving out of your comfort zone.
2. Conquering the elements.
3. The people can make connections face-to-face and not just on the computer.
4. To learn from experience and not the documentation of the experience.
5. You can form your own opinions.
2. With that list, brainstorm ways to turn the New Ways / Insights into Action. Come up with at least five (5) New Ways and the Action that will express them.
1. David accepts his trip to Guatemala by getting a backpack and learning Spanish.
2. David does battle with mosquitoes and wins with Bounce.
3. Meeting and bonding with Appo because he shares food and water.
4. David begins to time the fire ceremony but is so enthralled that he forgets his plan. He turns his watch over at the end of the ceremony.
5. David has one more venture into Internet world and realizes that it is more frightening than the jungles of Tikal.
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Brenda Lynn’s Living Metaphors
What I learned doing this assignment is that utilizing these tools is a great way to add depth and subtlety to the challenges. Though difficult to find, Living Metaphor is an awesome technique. These are definitely going into the toolbox. I plan to wear them out.
5 Should Work, But Doesn’t challenges
David points out to Father Sean that he is the best in his class and therefore should be going to the top prize location – Lascaux, France. Father Sean points out that because he is the top of his class, he is going to receive the most difficult challenge – a summer in the jungles of Tikal.
Utilizing his family’s clout with the University, David tries to get his place back. It backfires when Father Sean tells him either he goes or he loses his place in line for a PhD.
Thinking he is the best at everything, David picks a fight with his best friend who ends up going to France. He lose the fight to Frank who grew up fighting in the streets of the Bronx.
David tries to use the Cloud to get his report done so that he can get out of the jungle of Tikal. However, there is no access to the Cloud in the jungle. He is going to have to write his thoughts down the analog way – paper and pencil.
Arrogantly thinking that the world must cater to him, David attempts to spend one night alone in the jungle, but fails at it.
5 Living Metaphor challenges
Late for his appointment with Father Sean, David has to go down a spiral fire escape which becomes symbolic for the Maya belief system of space time called Najt.
David journey in the airport in Guate becomes symbolic of the different views of time.
Trying to time the fire ceremony, David learns the truth about time and the fire of life.
Spending a night in the jungle, David has to learn to rely on himself and not his gadgets to survive a night in the jungle.
David, after learning that Appo is dying, must choose between fulfilling his dreams of becoming the youngest Ph.D at Columbia University or study with this man who knows the ancient ways of living a fulfilled life. David lets go of his dreams in order to fulfill his destiny.
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Brenda Lynn’s Counterexamples
What I learned doing this assignment is that the technique of Counter Example is a great way to hone down the changes and the transformational journey. It makes this trip within my control as a write the story, helping me to build to the conclusion is a dramatic, but holistic way. Love this technique. Helps to build in conflict as well.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>1) Sense of Entitlement
OLD WAYS: David feels that, as the best in his class, he deserves the top prize, a trip to Lascaux, France to study the artwork in the cave. Life owes him.
CHALLENGE: He learns that life doesn’t owe him anything. He must create his own destiny with love and gratitude.
EXPERIENCE: Fire ceremony with Appo.
2) Competition vs. Love and Acceptance
OLD WAYS: David competes with his brother in his pursuit of his PhD.
CHALLENGE: He accepts that his brother’s dreams do not have to be his own. He can love his brother without competing with him.
DIALOGUE: Appo explains through Maya Game that everyone’s role, no matter what it is, plays a part in the balance of the universe.
3) Learning from Screens instead of experiencing life
OLD WAYS: Always with his head buried in his screen, he ignores the beauty of life around him.
CHALLENGE: Screen backfire on him when he is filmed fighting with Frank.
EXPERIENCE: David learns that if he has his face in his experience, life will pass him by. He tries to photograph the monkeys in the jungle instead of just observing them.
4) Plans are more important than being open to the Cosmos
OLD WAYS: David has his life planned to the nth degree.
CHALLENGE: Appo is dying. David must choose between what he had planned for his life and an opportunity of a life time, to study with Appo before he passes.
DIALOGUE: Father Sean wants David to experience life, not just learn about it from a book so he sends him to Tikal. “Pyramids, jungle, Maya—do you good.”
5) No one can be trusted
OLD WAYS: Father Sean tricked David into going to Tikal.
CHALLENGE: This trick turns out to be an experience that David wouldn’t exchange for all the world.
EXPERIENCE: David must choose between his dreams and plans, or sacrifice them so that he can learn from Appo.
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Brenda Lynn’s Old Ways Challenge Chart
What I learned doing this assignment is that doing this break down of the old ways helps to had the layers for an impactful and profound journey in the story.
ASSIGNMENT 2
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Sense of Entitlement
OLD WAYS: David feels that, as the best in his class, he deserves the top prize, a trip to Lascaux, France to study the artwork in the cave. Life owes him.
CHALLENGE: He learns that life doesn’t owe him anything. He must create his own destiny with love and gratitude
Competition vs. Love
OLD WAYS: David competes with his brother in his pursuit of his PhD.
CHALLENGE: He accepts that his brother’s dreams do not have to be his own. He can love his brother without competing with him.
Learning from Screens instead of experiencing life
OLD WAYS: Always with his head buried in his screen, he ignores the beauty of life around him.
CHALLENGE: Screen backfire on him when he is filmed fighting with Frank.
Plans are more important than being open to the Cosmos
OLD WAYS: David has his life planned to the nth degree.
CHALLENGE: Appo is dying. David must choose between what he had planned for his life and an opportunity of a life time, to study with Appo before he passes.
No one can be trusted
OLD WAYS: Father Sean tricked David into going to Tikal.
CHALLENGE: This trick turns out to be an experience that David wouldn’t exchange for all the world.
Unfulfilled by Having
OLD WAYS: Even though David has all that he could desire, he is not fulfilled by his tech-gadget-filled life.
CHALLENGE: He observes the happiness of people who have next to nothing, but have everything that his important.
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Brenda Lynn’s 12 Angry Men Analysis
What I learned doing this assignment is that utilizing this analysis on the story reveals the layers beneath the story on the surface. It is an excellent way to add depth to a story and come to a revealing, but holistic conclusion to the story.
ASSIGNMENT 1
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Assumption of guilt
OLD WAYS: Assuming that the case presented was complete. Accepting what was told to them as the truth. They take the initial vote and only 1 person says not guilty.
CHALLENGE:
Juror #8 (infinity) votes not guilt. They should at least talk about it before they condemn a man to death.
Just want this over
OLD WAYS: Juror #7 has a baseball game to get to so could they get it over with.
It is hot and uncomfortable in the room. The humidity builds as the tension builds.
The clock is ticking on the wall. There is pressure on #8 to change his vote so they can all go home.
CHALLENGE:
Juror #9 agrees with #8. The case should at least be discussed.
Not caring
OLD WAYS: What difference does it make? These are poor people who knife each other all the time.
CHALLENGE: In this country, the burden of proof is on the prosecution, not the defense. You are innocence until proven guilty.
Prejudice
OLD WAYS: Juror #10 symbolizes the attitude of a bigot. “I’ve lived with them all of my life. You know what they are like.” His pigheadness closes his ears to the truth.
CHALLENGE:
Everyone has a right to a fair and just trial, no matter their race, sex or economic and social status.
Juror #5 and Juror #11 would both be categorized as lessor than Juror #10. They counter his perspective. Juror #11 even corrects 10’s grammatical error.
Not looking beneath the surface
OLD WAYS: Accepting the fact that the knife was unique, one-of-a-kind and the fact that the boy had purchased it recently.
CHALLENGE:
Juror #8 has a knife just like the evidence knife. He bought it in the same neighborhood where the crime took place, proving that the knife was not as rare an item as the jurors were lead to believe. (This is a turning point in the story. Physical proof that the case is not all that it seems.
Assuming the evidence is not questionable
OLD WAYS: Juror # 4 doubts that the boy went to the movies because he couldn’t recall what he had seen.
CHALLENGE:
Juror #8 challenges memory of Juror #4 as he tries to recall an actress from a movie. Then #8 points out the pressure the boy was under when finding his father dead. Who would be able to remember under those circumstances.
Assuming the witnesses were accurate:
OLD WAYS: Accepting the eye-witness testimonies as fact.
CHALLENGE:
Juror #8 acts out the old man’s walk to the door and calls into question the neighbor being able to see through the train car windows, plus she didn’t have on her glasses.
Assuming the Defense Attorney did his job
OLD WAYS: Juror #3 poses that if the evidence was lacking, why didn’t the Defense Attorney point these things out.
CHALLENGE:
Juror #6 agrees with #8. A court-appointed attorney did not seem to have a vested interest in his client. He just wanted to get it over with.
Assuming the case is completely logical
OLD WAYS: Juror #3 is the last hold out. He argues that the case presented was accurate and reasonable until he comes to an inner realization.
CHALLENGE:
Because of his own broken relationship with his son, Juror #3 was looking at the case through biased eyes. Once he accepts that, he changes his vote to not guilty. The accused is acquitted of murdering his father.
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Brenda Lynn’s Profound Ending
What I learned doing this assignment is that knowing the ending helps to build the setups and payoffs at the beginning, helping to create guideposts throughout the journey to arrive at the final destination which is inevitable but surprising.
Design your ending to have a profound impact.
1. What is your Profound Truth and how will it be delivered powerfully in your ending?
There are times when you have to give up your dream in order to fulfill your destiny.
David, realizing that Appo is not long for this world, gives up his dream of being the youngest PhD candidate at Columbia University in order to fulfill his destiny of learning Maya culture and becoming a Aj’qi (Maya priest).
3. What are the setup/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie, giving it deep meaning?
His fight for his dream at the beginning becomes his fight for his destiny at the end.
The beginning desire is to see art in a cave. The payoff is that he discovers his soul in a cave.
His skill as a scholar (the head) is much more powerful when he has learned to share someone else’s knowledge (the heart).
4. How are you designing it to have us see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it happens?
It appears as if David is going to go back to New York to complete his degree, but at the last moment, he chucks the offer letter and goes to Appo. After David performs the Maya gratitude ceremony, they enter the cave together.
5. What is the Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds?
A dream is for today, a destiny is for your lifetime.
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Brenda Lynn’s Connection with Audience
What I learned doing this assignment is that using these four ways of connecting with the audience is a terrific way to get the audience to go along the journey with the characters. Having these characteristics already set up will help when writing the script and filling in the details of the characters.
Change Agent: Father Sean
A. Relatability – Trying to do his best for his students
B. Intrigue – He is a CeltIberian – he reads Runes
C. Empathy – His student doesn’t understand why he is changing the plan
D. Likability – He loves life
Change Agent: Appo
A. Relatability – He dyes his hair
B. Intrigue – His understanding of the Cosmos
C. Empathy – He is one of the last of his kind
D. Likability –He plays the harmonica and is happy with life.
Transformable Character: David Lazar
A. Relatability – David has a plan for his life, but it is not in his control. Someone else makes the decision for him.
B. Intrigue – He is in competition with his brother. He wants to be the youngest PhD student at Columbia University.
C. Empathy – He is the second son who is constantly being compared to his brilliant older brother.
D. Likability – He keeps trying even though his hopes and dreams have been dashed.
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Brenda Lynn’s Transformational Structure
What I learned doing this assignment is that utilizing the mini-movie structure applies very well to the Profound Journey. Each turning point escalates the journey and move the Transformable Character forward, even when they fail.
1. Transformational Logline.
A tech-reliant anthropology student ignores human contact in favor of screen life has his eyes opened by the Maya culture to discover actual life and the growth of his spirit.
2. Transformational Character: David Lazar
3. Mini-Movie structure
MM #1 – Status Quo and Call to Adventure: (Pages 1 – 15) – David is the top of his class so he is anticipating (as he has done all semester) that he will win the coveted position of going to Lascaux, France to study the artwork in the caves for the summer.
Turning Point: Call to Adventure. David’s Celtiberian professor decides to “wound him in the thigh” and sends David to work with the Maya in the jungles of Tikal. Gradient – Denial – you can’t possibly mean it. You can’t send me to the jungles of Tikal.
Change Agent: Father Sean
Transformational Character: David
Old Ways: Digital with not contact
The Vision: Maya, do you good.
Challenge: David had a plan and a vision for his life that is not going to happen, even though he thinks he deserves it.Weakness: Can see the gift before him. Uses technology to try and get ahead.
MM #2 – Locked Into Conflict: (Pages 15 – 30_ – David has a fight with his best friend, Frank, who is going to Lascaux instead. The fight goes viral and his brother calls to humiliate him even further. Gradient – Anger.
Turning Point: Locked in. Humiliated, David accepts the position. He is going to Tikal.
Old Ways: Technology backfires on him. Video of fight goes viral.
Challenge: Frank wins the prize that David was seeking. Thinks that Frank stole it from him.
Weaknesses: Pride. Sense of Entitlement. Bad loser.
MM #3 – Hero Tries to Solve Problem – But Fails: (Pages 30 – 45) – Our hero’s first attempts to solve his problem, the first things that anyone with this problem would try, appealing to outside authority to help him. Ends when all these avenues are shut to our hero.
David attempts to go over Father Sean to the head of the school. Please let me go to Lascaux. Gradient – Bargaining.
Turning Point: Standard ways fail. – One last call from Father Sean. Either he goes to Tikal or he will have to wait another year to graduate.
Change Agent: Father Sean
Transformational Character: David
The Vision: Look out, you might learn something inside.
Old Ways: Doesn’t want to experience. Wants to follow his plan.New Ways: Has to try to learn more about the Maya.
Challenge: David had a plan and a vision for his life that is not going to happen, even though he thinks he deserves it.
Weakness: Entitled. Controlling. Inflexible.
MM #4 – Hero Forms a New Plan (Pages 45 – 60) – Our hero spawns a bigger plan. He prepares for it, gathers what materials and allies he may need, then puts the plan into action — only to have it go horribly wrong, usually due to certain vital information the hero lacked about the forces of antagonism allied against him.
David attempts to use his technical savvy. He does research online and pulls it all together and places it in the Cloud so when he is in Tikal, he can send the report and be done with this nightmare.
Turning Point: Plan backfires. There is no internet service in the jungle, he is going to have to write is paper on his own. Gradient – Depression (writes a half-hearted paper).
The Vision: Connecting with people is the best way to learn.
Old Ways: Tries to use technology to end around the problem.New Ways: He is going to have to go to Tikal.
Challenge: Tries to write the report in advance, but discovers there is no access to the Cloud in the jungle.
Weakness: Lazy.
Midpoint: Travels to Tikal. Meets Appo, his guide.
Old Ways: Computer and phone don’t work.
New Ways: Has to learn to communicate in analog format.
Challenge: Everything is different from the life he is accustomed to.
Weakness: Self-involved. Egocentric.
MM #5 – Hero Retreats & The Antagonism (Change Agent) Prevails: (Pages 60 – 75) – Meeting Appo who is giving David a chance. They learn about the fire ceremony and Maya’s view of time.
Turning Point: The decision to change. David gives Appo his last digital device, his Fit Bit watch. Gradient – Acceptance.
The Vision: It is possible to learn beyond books.
Old Ways: Tries to time the event, but gets mesmerized by the fire ceremony.New Ways: Learns about gratitude and forgivness. Instead of entitlement, David is becoming grateful.
Challenge: Timing and controlling are no longer required. What’s his purpose then?
Weakness: Hides behind technology which he no longer has.
MM #6 – Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan!: (Pages 75 – 90) – David takes the challenge of spending one night in the jungle. It can’t be that difficult. But when he sees a jaguar with one green eye and one blue, that’s it. He is done.
Turning Point: The ultimate failure. He is unable to complete the task of spending the night in the jungle. (Still arrogant, he attempt to show off fails. He is scared.)
Old Ways: Relies on his arrogance to try and get him through the night.
New Ways: He learns ways of surviving in the jungle, but falls asleep and the fire goes out.
Challenge: Out of his comfort zone.
Weaknesses: Arrogance, trying to control things.
MM #7 – Crisis & Climax: (Pages 90 – 105) – David does a vision quest. He learns of the sacrifices the Appo has made for him to be there in the jungle and learn. Appo is not long for this world. David has to make a choice.
Turning Point: Apparent victory. He has to decide whether to go back and complete his masters or stay and learn from Appo. (He learns an invaluable lesson about life and connection.)
New Ways: David sacrifices his career to stay and study with Appo.
Vision: This is David’s destiny, not just his dream.
Challenge: Will Maya accept David?
Weaknesses: Vulnerability. Control.
MM #8 New Status Quo: (Pages 105 – 120) – David abandons his dream of getting a Masters and stays to study with Appo and the Maya.
New Way: David, with the help of the Appo and Maya elders, is going to become an Aj’qi.
Profound Truth: Sometimes you have to give up your dream in order to fulfill your destiny.
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This reply was modified 4 years ago by Brenda Bynum.
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This reply was modified 4 years ago by
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Brenda Lynn’s Three Gradients
What I learned doing this assignment is how the 3 gradients of change shape and build the story. It took me a while to figure out how to use the technique, but finally made a huge break through. This is definitely one for the toolbox.
1. What is the Emotional Gradient you’ll use?
Forced Change: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance
2. For each emotion of that gradient, tell us the following:
A. Emotion: Denial
B. Action: Keeps learning French, Goes to Art Museum, Shows up at Frank’s Orientation for Lascaux.
C. Challenge: He planned to go to Lascaux. It is the top prize and he deserves it.
Weakness: Competitiveness, Planner
A. Emotion: Anger
B. Action: He goes to where Frank works and confronts him of stealing the position that he deserves. They get it a fight.
C. Challenge: His sense of entitlement makes him blind to the opportunity.
Weakness: Confrontational and controlling
A. Emotion: Bargaining
B. Action: Tells Appo that he will be there for a couple of weeks, but then he will be in France.
C. Challenge: David tries to take notes, but nothing electronic works in Tikal. He has to go analog.
Weakness: Sense of entitlement and control.
A. Emotion: Depression
B. Action: Monkeys have destroyed his room, eaten his books.
C. Challenge: Appo teaches him about the fire ceremony.
Weakness: So busy look inside, that he can’t see the beauty on the outside. Tries one more time to go to Lascaux.
A. Emotion: Acceptance
B. Action: He begins to learn the ways of the Maya.
C. Challenge: He has to make the choice of fulfilling his dream or following his destiny.
Weakness: He has to decide what is the most important thing in his life: dreams or destiny.
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Brenda Lynn’s Lead Characters
What I learned doing this assignment is that fleshing out these 3 characters and the Oppression element will help to flesh out the story and the journey.
1. Tell us your transformational journey logline.
An ego-centric anthropology student hides behind technology and artificial self-imposed goals, at the top of his class, his Celtiberian professor sends him to his last choice on the list, where he learns how to live a spiritual life as opposed to a superficial one.
2. Tell us who you think might be your Change Agent and give a few sentences about how that character fits the role. Also, include:
Aapo, knows that the Maya will need help to share their message. He feels that David is the man to do the job. He has tried to share the message himself but has not been able to go beyond Guate’s borders.
3. Tell us who you think might be your Transformable Character(s) and give a few sentences about how that character or characters fit the role.
David, the tech-dependent, ego-centric student thinks that his work at school is there to help him achieve is artificially imposed goals. He discovers that learning, especially spiritually, is the way to live a fulfilled life.
4. Tell us who or what you think might be The Oppression and give a few sentences about how The Oppression works in your story.
Modern life with its screens and lack of spiritual satisfaction.
5. Tell us who you think might be your Betraying Character and give a few sentences about how that character fits the role.
Don Pedro, who doesn’t think David is dedicated enough or deep enough to understand the task at hand.
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Brenda Lynn’s Transformational Journey
What I learned doing this assignment is that consolidating the transformational journey down to a logline helps to create a guidepost for the script and help to create the specifics to achieve the transformation journey in a profound way.
1. Tell us your logline for the transformational journey.
1. Lead character with an issue:
An ego-centric anthropology student who dwells in technology and thrives on artificial self-imposed goals,
2. Journey
at the top of his class, his Celtiberian professor sends him to his last choice on the list
3. Transformation
where he learns how to live a spiritual life as opposed to a superficial one.
2. Tell us what you see as the Old Ways.
Living life on screens and avoiding contact with people
3. Tell us what you see as the New Ways.
Understanding the importance of a spiritual, grateful existence.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by Brenda Bynum.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by
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Brenda Lynn’s First Three Decisions
What I learned doing this assignment is that it can be difficult to consolidate down the profound truth of a story. But once you find it, it will help guide the story as you bring it to fruition.
1. What is your profound truth? Being spiritually satisfied can lead to a fulfilled life.
2. What is the change your movie will cause with an audience?: To look beyond superficial expectations to find the deeper meaning of life.
3. What is your Entertainment Vehicle that you will tell this story through? THE EMBELLISHED AS-IT-HAPPENED CONFLICT
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Brenda Lynn’s Analysis of Groundhog Day
What I learned doing this assignment is learning to analyze movies for the transformation journey and the steps that the character has to go through to achieve this change. The changes can be subtle but have a new awareness, I am beginning to see the journey.
1. What is the CHANGE this movie is about? What is the Transformational Journey of this movie?
In order to live a fulfilling life, you must live in service of others. Phil, an egocentric man, learns that in order to be loved, he must love himself first and become loveable. When he learns to let go of himself and life in service of others, he finds love and moves on.
2. Lead characters:
– Who is the Change Agent (the one causing the change) and what makes this the right character to cause the change?
Rita, the producer. She’s positive, upbeat and enthusiastic. See the glass just plain full.
– Who is the Transformable Character (the one who makes the change) and what makes them the right character to deliver this profound journey?
Phil, the weatherman. He is egocentric, it is his defining characteristic. He doesn’t even have a glass.
– What is the Oppression?
Day-to-Day monotony – Time
3. How are we lured into the profound journey? What causes us to connect with this story?
With the device of Ground Hog Day repeating itself over and over.
4. Looking at the character(s) who are changed the most, what is the profound journey? From “old ways” to “new way of being.”
Identify their old way:
That life is predictable and mundane, because he views it from the outside in. How can the world service him?
Identify their new way at the conclusion:
How can he service the world? Once he sacrifices for others, he has a sense of purpose and becomes fulfilled and thus more lovable.
5. What is the gradient the change? What steps did the Transformational Character go through as they were changing?
1) Phil is angry that things have changed.
2) Phil uses the fact that he can remember and others can’t. He uses it to his advantage.
3) Phil tests his theory by dying over and over again.
4) He tries to win Rita’s affections by pretending to know what love is.
5) The slaps in the face wake him up to a new reality. He begins to actually get to know people in the town.
6) When he begins thinking of others, he learns to love himself.
7) Once he is lovable, he can be loved.
6. How is the “old way” challenged? What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?
Rita won’t fall in love with him no matter how hard he tries to fake love.
Phil’s belief that the world is there to service him is challenged.
When he learns that servicing others is the way to feel fulfilled and satisfied in life, then he begins to live again with the woman he loves.
7. What are the most profound moments of the movie?
When the homeless man dies. Death gives meaning to life. Phil begins saving others.
When they finally kiss and the snow begins to fall.
When he wakes up the next day with his beloved beside him in his bed.
8. What are the most profound lines of the movie?
Nothing that you did mattered.
Did you ever start the day with one expectation and end with something completely different?
Today is tomorrow.
Is there anything I can do for you today?
9. How does the ending payoff the setups of this movie?
When they finally kiss, it begins to snow.
10. What is the Profound Truth of this movie?
Living in service of others is the key to a happy life.
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What I learned from the Opening Teleconference is that the process will add new layers and depths to my writing. If I take the step-by-step approach to building the story I can take the audience along with character’s transformational journey. Have to figure out how to present the change in an entertaining way. Adding insights to the script will add to the dimension and power of the script and to deliver the Profound Truth.
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1. Brenda Lynn Bynum
I agree to the terms of this release form.GROUP RELEASE FORM FOR “THE PROFOUND SCREENPLAY”
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences,
communications, lessons, and models of the MSC confidential, and that I
will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting
online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any
other way that would make those processes, teleconferences,
communications, lessons, and models of the MSC available to anyone
who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the
sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted
by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this
group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not
share this information with anyone without the express written permission
of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with
anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or
have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can
independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or
movie idea.4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another
group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof
that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems
them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either
party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the
class.5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as
another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are
the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will
not write or market another group member’s ideas.6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for
any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted
work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from
marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents,
managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment
industry organizations or people.This completes the Group Release Form for The Profound Screenplay class.
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Hi, Everyone,
My name is Brenda Lynn Bynum (her/she). Since joining ScreenwritingU world in August 2020, I have written 3 features, 3 TV pilots and am working on a novel based on one of the scripts.
I had the amazing experience of documenting Maya elders in Guatemala.
Through this class, I hope to learn out to deepen my scripts to have great impact and meaning.
Looking forward to taking this journey with you all.
Best,
Brenda Lynn