Steven Pickering
Forum Replies Created
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Steve’s Life threatening sequence
What is the Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger?
Mr Finman is closing the market place for redevelopment, and he will stop at nothing to make it happen. Michael is put in danger when he starts to investigate ways of stopping the development. There is a way, but that is the villains secret.Sequence of dangers
1) Opens with workman going down refuse chute and killed in compactor.
2) Rory and Michael discuss the dangers of the market, and basement thugs
3) Michael suspects being watched by thugs on behalf of Mr Finman
4) Michael is chosen by the traders to lead the “save our market” campaign
5) Mr Finman befriends Michael to test his potential challenge against his plan
6) Neighbouring butcher is killed after submitting a petition
7) Rory and Michael threatened by their secret being revealed. Rory has killed before
8) Michael is going to lose his job
9) Rory keeps disappearing – is she safe?
10) Thugs from the basement keep intimidating Michael – stalked
11) Mr Finman warns Michael to back-off, or face consequences
12) Michael is lured into the dark nunnery vault
13) The bare knuckle fighter attacks Michael
14) Dancing for the devil – don’t stop moving or you die! -
Steve’s Mystery sequence
1. What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
The villain wants to close the market building and make a fortune from redevelopment of the site. The secret is that traders could stop it, if they knew about the restrictive covenant in the original property deeds, which does not allow the site to be anything other than a market. The original deeds are in the sealed vault of an old nunnery, which is part of the market basement.
2. How many ways can they cover that secret?
Neighbouring butcher/trader is killed when he fights against the closure
Red Herring – Rory (Michaels wife) has history of mental illness. Daughter of a butcher, she has been involved with killing in the past. Did she kill the rival butcher? Workers from the developer have also gone missing – so it can’t be the developer that is responsible?
Mr Finman wants people to believe it is happening and already a done deal. So, he initiates evicting people and starting minor demolition works.
Mr Finman attempts to gain access to the nun’s cellar stating it is because he wants to preserve the nunnery’s history. He engages the nuns of today that are descendants of original convent. Access is difficult, and attempts escalate incrementally in dramatic fashion.
Does the building have a mind of it’s own?
Main mysteries/chains
1) Man from development company is killed
Rory (red herring) and her family have been in the market for 4 generations
She has killed before due to mental illness
She has no alibi
Rory keeps going missing – where does she go?2) Is there a way to stop the development
Traders try to petition the owner of the market
Rory engages her long-lost brother (barrister) for legal advice
Michael becomes friends with market manager – Frank, for inside information
Is the old nunnery connected to the decision to redevelop the market3) Who killed Todd the butcher
Rory was missing again at the time of the murder
Mr Finman is connected to the gangsters/henchmen from the basement4) Is the building alive?
Repeated attempts to get into the nun’s vault fail
Are the supernatural incidents connected with the building
Michael, goes into vault and travels to 1856. He gets trapped in vault. (Dream?)
Chloe gets him out, carrying the original property deeds proving that development cannot take place… market saved. -
Steve’s – Villains plan
What I learned is the villain has been planning this for years before the story starts… even I did not know that… he’s a sneaky bugger!
1. What is the end goal?
Mr Finman wants to close the indoor market for redevelopment, and make a fortune for himself.
2. How can the Villain accomplish that in a devious way?
The market traders have certain rights that could stop him, but they are unaware. The villain must keep these rights quiet to complete his goal.
3. How can they cover it up?
Start preparatory building works to show the plan/project is happening.
Pretend they are being generous with compensation and help to find other markets.
Gain access to a previously secured cellar to obtain original deeds for the building (deeds contain a restrictive covenant against any future redevelopment)
Kill anyone that starts to uncover the secrets.
4. Sequence it to make it as intriguing as possible.
Make traders believe the closure/demolition is happening and is a done deal.
Evict any trader that might have potential to disrupt the plan
Undertake surveys of building and prepare for demolition.
Announce plans to traders with offer of generous compensation
Destroy the huge petition handed in by traders and customers.
Kill off any objections – in a credible way
Manipulate traders to turn against each other -
Steve’s SOTL stacking
This is much better than basic instinct. The stacking is a lot more detailed with several storylines occurring at the same time. Each scene follows a thread of transformation, which is happening to all the characters. The theme of mind games is also strong with everyone trying to manipulate everyone else. -
Steve’s BI stacking suspense
Fascinating how each scene contained MIS conventions. I used to like this film, but now it seems quite dated. Good for learning conventions though. -
Stephen’s world and characters
Ive learned to keep it simple…. For now!
CONCEPT and the Big M.I.S.
Can Michael, the butcher, stop the market owner from closing the historic building for redevelopment?
There are different market forces at play here, with people disappearing. There is an underground criminal community in the basement. Plus, the owner might be part of a group of powerful people. There is also the added consideration that the building might have a life of its own!
Will Michael avoid being the next person to disappear and find a way to stop the owner closing the market ?
The World of Markets.
This indoor market has over 100 market traders selling a wide variety of products. There are many forces at play and everyone seems to have their own personal hidden agendas.
Michael Dina – (protagonist) shy extrovert. Used to be a market manager, but became a butcher/trader. He is chosen by other traders to help stop the closure.
He has knowledge of the market that can be used to create a plan
Can he stay alive long enough to implement it and save the market?
Mr Finman – (Villain) Represents the owners and is determined to close the market
He seems to be well connected with powerful people.
He thinks he is unstoppable, but is there a chink in his amour?
Rory – (Red herring) Wife of Michael, has a history of mental illness.
Is she responsible for people disappearing? It wouldn’t be the first time!
Rory is a keen supporter of saving the market.
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Stephen Pickering’s Big M.I.S.
What I learned doing this assignment is that it helps to strip it back to basic structure before adding the complications.
Logline:
In the bizarre world of a large indoor market, a butcher struggles to help other traders save the market from closure. Battling with market forces can be a deadly affair.
Conventions
Michael Dina, a butcher, but was once a market manager, becomes the ring-leader for the many traders wanting to save the market place from demolition.
Mr Finman, the market owner announces he is closing the historic market building to redevelop the land.
People who fight against the closure seem to be disappearing.
This story is thrilling because we don’t know who is actually making people disappear. Is it the evil landlord, angry traders, or does the historic building itself have something to say…in a supernatural way?Big M.I.S.
Big Mystery: Can Michael find a way to stop the owner from closing the market?
What is the covert plot? There is an ancient cellar under the market building, once part of a nunnery. Not been accessed for over 100 years, but why is the owner suddenly so keen to get in there?
Big Suspense: Can Michael find out why people are disappearing and avoid being the next victim? -
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Stephen Pickering
I’ve written one screenplay and many TV adverts.
I’m starting to write my next screenplay and thought this course might be a good tool to help me.
My day job was managing large indoor retail markets in the UK. Quite a surreal experience, which is probably reflected in my writing!