Carissa Steefel
Forum Replies Created
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Carissa’s Inciting Incident What I learned: I don’t have a reaction for the inciting incident. This is a true story. Will have to brainstorm.
1. Outline Key Scenes 2 & 3 for Act 1.
Ron has to call Maxine and tell her about all the lies.
Maxine wants to know everything. He better tell her what’s what.
2. Write your Inciting Incident scene.
Flashback: Ron meets former President Truman. Doesn’t know it yet, but will work undercover for the gov.
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Carissa’s Transformational Events
What I learned: While my protag is juggling his life, I am juggling story lines because of his life. I will see if this helps when I go back to the script.
Old Ways:
Ron juggles too much
Ron protects his clients at all costs
Ron thinks he knows more than he does
Ron has to prove himself.
Ron is too trusting.
Ron thinks success is having a nice car and house
New Ways:
Ron pares down his activities
Ron can’t always please everyone
Ron is humbled
Ron realizes what “good enough” means
Ron puts up his guard, knows not to trust right away
Ron feels successful with his family and a condo
Transformational Events:
Ron gets shot at
Ron has to tell his wife everything
Ron meets former Pres Truman
Ron works for CIA
Ron meets with bank who will give him 25 mill.
Ron does FBI sting
Ron agrees to work with Paulo
Paulo source of info but has a big mouth—Sheik working with Lockheed
Ron finds out who stole from Sheik.
Sheik doesn’t like Paulo told him who is stealing
Ron takes initiative and goes inside airplane hanger
Treasury unhappy that Ron took initiative
Paulo beat up, life threatened
Ron gets Paulo to work with him and Treasury
Sheik working with Lockheed
Sheik arrested but released on diplomatic immunity
Ron’s clients leave the biz
Ron shot at
Treasury wants Ron in CO
Sheik laundering money thru Ritz Carlton
Paulo secretly stealing from Sheik.
Ron and Paulo fight it out. Paulo set up a psy op against Ron
Ron stays in CO and his family joins him
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Carissa’s 4 Act Transformational Structure
What I learned: Continually deepening characters wants and needs. Structure is very helpful in clarifying story.
Create a first draft of your 4 Act Transformational Structure.
1. Give us the following:
Concept: Ron: Hollywood
talent manager works undercoverPaulo: Will do anything to obtain millions.
Main Conflict:
Hard for Ron to say No. Working undercover, keeping 2 lives separate.
Old Ways: To be
successful, Ron has to do everything asked of him.
New Ways: Ron pares
down and defines what success is to him.2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
Opening: Leading
two lives: Ron the talent manager, Ron undercover, gets shot at.
Inciting
Incident: Ron has to tell his wife about his undercover work. Flashback.
Turning Point: Ron
meets with big mouth informant who can also get Ron 25 mill for his movie.
Ron goes through Sheriff training program.Act 2:
New plan: Ron
has to find out who stole money from the Sheik while doing undercover
work. Ron juggles this with keeping his clients happy, esp. Ian with the
hot script.Paulo only wants to please his parents and make them believe he is successful.
Plan in action: Paulo
is a great resource of info. Ron finds out that guys who stole are Sheik’s
friends.Paulo wants to be friends with everyone, but will stab them when they turn around.
Midpoint Turning
Point: Paulo has been lying about the 25 million. Ian is unraveling. **Treasury
agent unhappy with Ron taking initiative.Paulo secretly stealing money from the Sheik.
Act 3:
Rethink
everything: Ron looks for other investors—questions producing this
movie. Makes amends with Treasury agent.
New plan: Get
Paulo to work with them. Get info on Sheik and dealings with Lockheed.Paulo works with Treasury but is a narcissist and doesn’t care who gets screwed.
Turning Point: Ron
is shot at. Huge failure / Major shift: Ron loses his best clients, the
movie he wants to produce is officially dead. Info on Lockheed—Money halted.
Sheik doesn’t go to jail because of diplomatic immunity. Treasury wants
Ron to work in Colorado.Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate
expression of the conflict: Ron finds out that Paulo put a psy op on Ron.
Ron confronts Paulo. They fight. Ron realizes what’s important to him.
Resolution: Ron and
family have left Hollywood and Ron works undercover. -
Carissa’s Character Profile Part 2
What I learned: In reading over Part 1 I realized I had to change something in part 2, irony.
What draws us to this character? He is likable, helpful, approachable, loyal.
Traits: Direct, Busy, Loyal, Guarded.
Subtext: Poker face, stays quiet unless really angry.
Flaw: Too ambitious, juggling too much, needs to prove himself.
Values: Loyalty, Rule of Law, Family.
Irony: Wants to leave Hollywood, but he’s loyal to the city. Wants to prove himself. Wants to please everyone, but mostly is family and his country.
Right character for the role: In trying to prove his self worth, Ron has too much on his plate. He is successful, but needs to learn what’s truly important and that that is enough.
Part 1
Ron: Protag. Talent manager who is recruited to work undercover for the US Treasury.
Age range: Young Ron at 18-21 is tough, popular, hated school, but is impressive to the Dean of students. 20 years later he has a successful management company and wants to produce. He’s used to being the BMOC type guy.
Internal: Ron goes from thinking he has to do everything to feel successful to working solely undercover. He starts with the notion that what’s in his life is not enough and ends up realizing his family and working with the Treasury fulfill him.
External: Ron tries to raise 25 million for Ian’s film and is being lead on by Paulo. At the same time Ron has to get info from Paulo about the Saudis. When Paulo fails to get the money and the Saudi princes are caught, Ron realizes he’d rather focus on helping the good guys.
Motivation: Wants to raise 25 million to make a movie/Needs to leave Hollywood.
Wound: Has to prove himself. Never felt loved by his father. Resolves that he is good enough.
Mission/Agenda: Ron tries to raise 25 mill, keep his clients happy, help Paulo find the people who stole the Sheik’s money, get Paulo to work undercover, until Ron realizes he doesn’t have to prove himself, he has enough with his family and is satisfied serving his country.
Secret: Hiding that he works undercover. Hiding that he has to constantly prove his worth.
Special: Ron is truly capable and doesn’t have to prove it. He’s wise, insightful and street smart but needs to know this for himself.
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Carissa’s Character Profiles Part 1
What I learned—Ron has become a deeper character with more layers.
Protagonist: Ron Glazer; 42, Fighter—With everything he does, he jumps in with both feet. He’s righteous and believes in right and wrong. He wants to serve his country in any way he can.
Antagonist: Paulo Habladoro; 38, Villain/Predator—He’s a narcissist and liar. Doesn’t care who he screws over. Doesn’t like laws or listen to authority. He only wants to make a billion dollars.
Supporting: Maxine; 40, Ron’s wife. No nonsense, works with Ron, teaches and is a mom. Thick NY accent. Don’t mess with her.
Supporting: Ian McBain; 37, Good-looking British actor who has optioned the best script in town. He has low self esteem, has tantrums.
Supporting: Mike Atkinson; 39, US Treasury Special Agent. Loves being an agent. Secretive yet likeable. Gives Ron assignments. Uses Ron. Knows art house movies.
Supporting: Saudi princes (Still working on details)
Minor: Agent Donckles; 45, gets Ron back in the game.
Minor: Bobby St. John; 23, pretty actress Ron represents. She’s always coming on to Ron. Wants him to leave his wife for her.
Minor: Sabrina, 25, Cheerleader pretty. Ron’s client. She books TV specials. Likes to date the set electrician, gaffer.
Minor: Ron’s kids—Alan and Mike, 12 and 10.
Minor: Angel—20, Ron’s receptionist.
Genre: Dark comedy
Lead character profiles:
Ron: Protag. Talent manager who is recruited to work undercover for the US Treasury.
Age range: Young Ron at 18-21 is tough, popular, hated school, but is impressive to the Dean of students. 20 years later he has a successful management company and wants to produce. He’s used to being the BMOC type guy.
Internal: Ron goes from thinking he has to do everything to feel successful to working solely undercover. He starts with the notion that what’s in his life is not enough and ends up realizing his family and working with the Treasury fulfill him.
External: Ron tries to raise 25 million for Ian’s film and is being lead on by Paulo. At the same time Ron has to get info from Paulo about the Saudis. When Paulo fails to get the money and the Saudi princes are caught, Ron realizes he’d rather focus on helping the good guys.
Motivation: Wants to raise 25 million to make a movie/Needs to leave Hollywood.
Wound: Has to prove himself. Never felt loved by his father. Resolves that he is good enough.
Mission/Agenda: Ron tries to raise 25 mill, keep his clients happy, help Paulo find the people who stole the Sheik’s money, get Paulo to work undercover, until Ron realizes he doesn’t have to prove himself, he has enough with his family and is satisfied serving his country.
Secret: Hiding that he works undercover. Hiding that he has to constantly prove his worth.
Special: Ron is truly capable and doesn’t have to prove it. He’s wise, insightful and street smart but needs to know this for himself.
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Hi fellow scribes;
A day late here.
I’m Carissa
I’ve written about 7 scripts.
I always need help with Act 2. I think this 4 act system will be a breakthrough.
I have the sense of humor of a 14 yo boy.
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Carissa’s Transformational Journey
What I learned—Clarity on my main character.
Hero: Ron Glazer
Internal: Ron has to prove himself to everyone, that he can do it all.
External: Ron has to do everything… Manage, produce and work undercover.
Old Ways: Ron had to prove himself. Has to juggle hundreds things. It’s not enough to be a talent manager, he has to produce. It’s not enough to produce, he has to work undercover.
New Ways: Ron doesn’t need to prove himself. It’s enough to leave Hollywood, work undercover and enjoy his family.