[Carly-Ann Giene]

Carly's Target Market

What I learned doing this assignment is that there are a lot more accessible resources than I previously thought.

Title:Dredge

Genre:Horror

Logline: A desensitized crime scene cleaner is thrust into a living nightmare when his wife gets possessed on the job in Detroit.

Comps:
Sinister, Hereditary, Barbarian, It Follows, Evil Dead Rise

Actors:
Donald Glover, LaKeith Stanfield, Bryan Tyree Henry, Daniel Kaluuya, John David Washington

Hereditary:
Brandon Tamburri – AP
Buddy Patrick – P

Sinister:
Bailey Conway – AP
Rick A. Osaka – AP
Jeanette Volturno -AP

Barbarian:
Danny Chan -EP
Roy Lee – P
Arnon Milchan – P
Michael Schaefer – EP

It Follows:
Erik Rommesmo – P
Alan Pao – EP
P Jennifer Dana – EP
Luke Daniels III – EP
Robyn K. Bennett – Co-P
Joshua Astrachan – EP

Evil Dead Rise:
Romel Adal – EP
Macdara Kelleher – EP

[Carly-Ann Giene]

Carly’s Phone Pitch

What I learned in this lesson is to keep things short and simple.

Hello my name is Carly would it be alright if I ran a quick concept by you?

It’s a horror film set in Detroit called Dredge. It’s about a crime scene cleaner’s wife getting possessed by a demon.

Budget is around 5 million with the potential for massive returns. Donald Glover would be fantastic as the lead. A Hereditary meets Sinister.

[Carly-Ann Giene]

Carly's Pitch Fest Pitch

What I learned. Hooks are everything.

Hello I’m Carly Giene I am a produced screenwriter. Today I have a horror called DREDGE.

Aaron cleans crime scenes for a living so nothing phases him —until the possession of his wife Lilith.

Questions:
What is the budget range? Low Budget. $5-10 Million

What actors do you like for the lead roles? Donald Glover and Emilia Clarke.

Give me the acts of the story.

ACT I
Lilith convinces Aaron to let her join him on the job cleaning the dead Hoarder’s House in Detroit. They may have bitten off more than they can chew.

ACT II

After clearing out decades worth of filth everything they removed from the house is mysteriously put back exactly where it was. Lilith’s sanity comes into question as she starts to see things that are not truly there and her physical health deteriorates. The beginnings of possession.

ACT III

Aaron fights for his life. Lilith is fully possessed by the demon that has been trapped in the house by occult rituals dating back for centuries. The demon reveals Lilith’s horrific secret it was her that is responsible for their son’s death.

How does it end? In a fleeting moment of humanity Lilith frees Aaron from the cursed house. Just as he escapes he is confronted and wrongfully accused of murder. He is horrifically killed by duct tape being wrapped around his entire face.

Lilith is finally free but in demon form ready to unleash her wrath on the world. Setting us up for a lucrative sequel.

Credibility questions What have you done? I have numerous projects in several stages of development. Award winning screenplays and festival screened films.

[Carly-Ann Giene]

Carly’s Query Letter

Title: DREDGE

Aaron cleans crime scenes for a living nothing phases him —until the possession of his wife Lilith.

What was supposed to be a simple cleaning job turns into a couple’s worst nightmare. After spending an entire day in decades old filth cleaning out a dead hoarder’s house the next day all of the trash they cleared out is back exactly where they left it.

Turns out the house they are cleaning is actually an infernal prison.

The demon exposes Lilith’s horrific truth: It was her that caused their son’s death and hid it from Aaron and the world. Should Aaron forgive his wife and save her from this demon or murder her and escape with his life and rebuild?

Sometimes our demons win. Hereditary meets Sinister.

If you are intrigued by this concept I would be happy to send you the script.

[ Phone #. E-mail. Address]

What I learned from this lesson is less is more. Not including a bio (if not up to snuff) and cutting some of the synopsis makes the query letter more readable and intriguing.

• This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by  Carly-Ann Giene.

[Carly-Ann Giene]

Carly's High Concept/Elevator Pitch

What I learned doing this assignment is that it is difficult to create a hook with enough info and intrigue without getting too far into exposition. Writing a hook is a craft in itself.

1.To find your main hook, give us what is most unique about your lead character’s journey from a big picture perspective.

Aaron is desensitized from the world having been wrongfully imprisoned and now cleaning crime scenes for a living. Nothing phases him until the possession of his wife.

2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?

Dilemma – Would you save your possessed wife after she betrays you?

Main Conflict – What was supposed to be a routine cleaning job turns out to be an infernal prison.

What’s at stake? Aaron and Lilith risk their lives by pursuing the occult origins of the hoarder house they are cleaning.
Goal/Unique Opposition – Lilith is possessed by an entity that tries to kill Aaron.

3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?

I’m shopping a psychological thriller/horror called Dredge about a female protagonist turned antagonist via possession.

4. After you answer questions 1 – 3, use AI to brainstorm other possible ways to generate a High Concept for your project.


Pitches:
When a desensitized crime scene cleaner’s wife becomes possessed, he must confront terrifying supernatural forces as his job traps him in a never-ending loop of horror.

A crime scene cleaner’s life unravels when his wife becomes possessed and the house he cleans mysteriously resets each day, revealing a nightmarish occult mystery.

After his wife is possessed, a crime scene cleaner is trapped in a haunted Detroit house where supernatural events reset every day, threatening his sanity.

In a Detroit house filled with occult horrors, a crime scene cleaner’s life turns into a nightmare when his wife’s possession triggers a chilling, unending cycle.

A desensitized cleaner’s mundane job turns nightmarish when his wife’s possession and a cursed house reset daily, revealing a sinister, supernatural conspiracy.

Comps:
“The Shining” meets “The Sixth Sense” – Both films explore psychological horror and supernatural elements with intense personal stakes.
“The Exorcist” meets “The Others” – Combines themes of possession with haunting, supernatural mysteries and a claustrophobic setting.
“Poltergeist” meets “The Ring” – Blends supernatural occurrences with a cursed environment affecting those who enter it.
“The Conjuring” meets “The Babadook” – Merges intense possession and supernatural fear with psychological horror elements.
“Hereditary” meets “Sinister” – Features family horror and a malevolent presence in a confined, haunting space.

These comps were chosen because they each blend psychological horror with supernatural elements, reflecting the unique aspects of your film's setting and central themes.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 3 weeks ago by  Carly-Ann Giene.

[Carly-Ann Giene]

Carly's Synopsis Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment is that using hooks between exposition reengages the reader and elevates the story. I found the most interesting things about the script really helped decide what to highlight in the synopsis.

Title: Dredge

Written by Brett Wheat and Carly W. Giene

Genre: Psychological Thriller / Horror

We open with a typical day for Aaron, cleaning up blood in a crime scene. Another day another dollar.

Aaron a charismatic ex-con is rebuilding his life after the death of his son. Lilith his beautiful and intelligent wife with unrealized potential repressed to the point of breaking agrees to go on this job cleaning out a dead hoarder’s house in Detroit.

What was supposed to be a simple cleaning job turns into a couple’s worst nightmare.

After spending a full day in decades old filth cleaning out the house the next day all of the trash they cleared out is back exactly where they left it. Turns out the house they are cleaning is actually an infernal prison.

Our outspoken female hero becomes our villain via demonic possession.
While possessed the demon exposes Lilith’s horrific truth. It was her that killed their son and hid it from Aaron and the world.

Should Aaron forgive his wife and save her from this demon or murder her and escape with his life and rebuild? Some things —are unforgivable.

In a moment of humanity Lilith releases Aaron from the confines of the cursed house. Just as he is about to escape in the eleventh hour he is mislabeled as the villain and brutally killed.

Lilith is finally free, but in demon form. Ready to unleash on the world. Sometimes our demons win.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 4 weeks ago by  Carly-Ann Giene.
• This reply was modified 8 months, 4 weeks ago by  Carly-Ann Giene.

[Carly-Ann Giene]

Carly's 10 Most Interesting Things

What I learned doing this assignment is that the most interesting elements here are more interesting than my current logline. Back to the drawing board!

1. What is most unique about your villain and hero? The hero becomes the villain. A female anti-hero via demonic possession.

2. Major hook of your opening scene? Takes place cleaning up blood from a crime scene.

3. Any turning points? After cleaning filth from the dead hoarder's house the next day everything appears back in the house. They have a choice to stay and continue this battle or leave. They choose to stay.

4. Emotional dilemma? Does Aaron choose to save/forgive his wife or kill her and escape?

5. Major twists? Lilith gets possessed.

6. Reversals? Supporting character thinks Aaron is the villain and murders him right after he's finally escaped.

7. Character betrayals? Aaron discovers his wife Lilith actually killed their son.

8. Or any big surprises? The house they're cleaning is an infernal prison.

9. Setting – gentrifying a forgotten neighborhood in Detroit.

10. Feels like a redemption story but in the eleventh hour –the bad guys/ demons win.

• This reply was modified 9 months ago by  Carly-Ann Giene.

[Carly-Ann Giene]

Carly Producer/Manager

What I learned today is that pitching yourself to a Producer is going to focus on the specific project and why it is a great business investment for them. Pitching yourself to a Manager is going to involve demonstrating to them why I'm not only going to be a great business investment but also someone they would like to work with on a consistent basis. There is more emphasis on relationship.

1. How will you present yourself and your project to the producer?
I am an award winning screenwriter that has tapped into a lucrative genre in a new and exciting way that will resonate with audiences. 'Dredge' is a psychological thriller that leaves a lasting impact. It's 'Hereditary' meets 'It Follows'.

2. How will you present yourself and your project to the manager?
I am a self motivated screenwriter with numerous projects in several stages of development. 'Dredge' is a fantastic script to establish me in the industry because it is a psychological thriller/ horror with a female protagonist. This genre has a history of lower risks and higher rewards. No script is too precious for me because I have an infinite well of ideas so my ego does not interfere when it comes to suggestions/cuts/re-writes. I am easy to work with and a big picture thinker. 'Dredge' is a story about a married couple that is strapped for cash and grieving their dead son. They get hired to clean out a deceased hoarders home and unearth disturbing secrets about the home and their relationship in the process.

• This reply was modified 9 months ago by  Carly-Ann Giene.

[Carly-Ann Giene]

Carly's Marketable Components

What I learned doing this assignment is to trim the fat and focus on the most attractive selling points.

Pick one or two components and tell us how your script already fulfills them AND how you might highlight these two in order to elevate the pitch.

1. Tell us your current logline: A married couple is strapped for cash and grieving the death of their son when they're hired to clean out a deceased hoarder's home in Detroit where they unearth disturbing secrets about the house and each other.

2. Look through the 10 Components of Marketability and pick one or two that have the most potential for selling this script.

B. Great Title – "Dredge"
G. Wide audience appeal. – Male and Female leads. Horror has a wide audience appeal. It is a very lucrative genre.
I. Similarity to a box-office success. – Comparable to "Hereditary" Budget of $10 million Box Office $82.8 million
J. A great role for a bankable actor. – Lilith, the Female protagonist that transmutes into our antagonist throughout the film is an incredible role that many A-list actresses would love to take on. There are fewer fulfilling roles for this age range so this is an enticing opportunity for actresses in their late 30's to 40's.

3. Do a quick brainstorm session about ways to elevate those two components for this script and tell us how you might pitch the script through the two components: I will be highlighting I and J because money talks.

Example: If you say your script has a great role, in one or two sentences, tell us how you can emphasize that role as you pitch your concept.
Lilith: Outspoken, intelligent woman with unrealized potential that is repressed to the point of breaking.
Aaron: Reformed charismatic ex-con turned sympathetic family man.

• This reply was modified 9 months ago by  Carly-Ann Giene.

[Carly-Ann Giene]

Carly W. Giene – Dredge – Manager
1. Psychological Thriller- Dredge : A married couple strapped for cash and grieving the death of their son takes on a job cleaning out a deceased hoarder’s home in Detroit where they unearth disturbing secrets about the house and each other.

2. The unveiling of the characters’ true natures and darkest secrets. You realize how you can never really know what a person is capable of.

3. First I would target Managers as I think this film could fit multiple markets. The female antagonist role is very juicy and could get the attention of big stars but because this would be my first script I’ve actually sold it could be beneficial to target a smaller market because indie psychological horror type films can be made for lower budgets and actually be profitable –or so I have heard. I think a manager would be better suited to navigate that than I would be. (This choice could be fear-based so I will call that out here).

4. What I learned today is that resilience, persistence and not talking/sharing too much will be key going forward.

[Carly-Ann Giene]

Hello my name is Carly. I have written 3 features one of which I adapted into a pilot. I’m currently working on another feature and am always editing scripts for my dyslexic husband. I am really hoping this class will give some insight in how to take scripts to the next stage. I feel like I have exhausted all of the avenues I’m aware of –and also to gain confidence in the pitching process. Something unusual/awesome about me is that my son is a 3 year old hairless (sphynx) cat named Princess Kenny.

[Carly-Ann Giene]

Carly Ann Giene . I agree to the terms of this release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

• This reply was modified 9 months, 1 week ago by  Carly-Ann Giene.