Carole Avila
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Carole Avila — Scary-As-Hell Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is that there are necessary elements to make a story more frightening.
INT – ADLEY’S ROOM – NIGHT
ADLEY is in a restless sleep. She opens her eyes and gasps. The overhead light is off. She kicks at the blanket because something is poking her feet. She sits up in bed, frantic, and tears off the blankets.
Moonlight casts a glow throughout the room and light beams across the bed. ADLEY sees a lump moving near the foot of her bed under the blankets. She pushes back into the headboard as a long, thorny fingernail shoves its way out of a hole and jabs the air as if trying to find something.
ADLEY gapes open mouthed at the fingernail, paralyzed as the gash widens. She finally stands up and is ready to jump off the bed, but her feet tangle in the blankets. She falls against the headboard. The thing under the comforter stops moving. The nail moves slowly so that it ends up pointing at her. ADLEY groans.
ADLEY clutches the headboard as she kicks at the blankets to free her feet. She grips the wooden frame and accidentally detaches the top wood strip on the side, which runs the length of the headboard. With just enough ambient light, under the flap, she sees a compartment containing a leather rectangular object with gold corners, the gypsy’s manuscript that she's been looking for which holds the counter-curse to destroy the thing in her room.
ADLEY hears a slight noise and whips her head around. The fingernail is no longer sticking out of the hole. Now a claw-like hand crawls up from the foot of the bed, attached to a tail of bone. ADLEY gasps, eyes wide, mouth dropped open. It spider-walks toward her, stopping inches from her feet.
MONSTER
(hideous whisper)
Aaaadley!ADLEY
Shut up, you freak!The hand jumps on her foot, and its nails drive into her ankle. ADLEY cries out. She kicks repeatedly until the skeletal hand loosened its grip. She whimpers as she tries to stomp on it but keeps missing. She shakes her foot with all her strength, and the string of bone flies off the side of the mattress, taking the hand with it. It clacks onto the floor, then coils snake-like about to strike. Her eyes widen and she cringes, but it doesn’t propel itself at her and lunges under the bed instead.
ADLEY runs across the bed and jumps to the floor, but her fuzzy socks make her slide like a surfer. Her arms are out to keep balanced. ADLEY skids toward the door just as the appendage shoots out from under the bed. The hand balances atop its tail and its long fingers are open claw-like against the door, preventing her escape.
ADLEY skates in a U-turn and scrambles back onto the bed, stumbling across the mattress to the headboard, holding onto it for dear life. She takes a deep breath, about to scream, and the hand attached to the snake-like rope flies across the room straight at her.
ADLEY ducks to the side, and the bones smash into the headboard, breaking apart. The pieces roll to the floor and slide under the bed as if pulled by a magnet. ADLEY is breathing hard. It’s quiet for a few beats. Then she hears a click at the foot of the mattress.
The skeletal bones clack as it crawls spider-like up the foot of the bed again. It stops, and its bony fingernails tapped against each other. ADLEY jumps off the side of the bed, but her legs are caught in the blankets. Her body hits the hardwood floor. She grunts as her legs flail against the tangled covers.
The hand crawls out from under the bed and latches onto her foot, clawing her ankle again. She cries out and kicks hard. The bony hand skids across the slick floor, sailing back under the bed. ADLEY yanks free of the blankets, but a sheet is still wrapped around her ankle. She limps quickly to the door.
She screams, but her voice is overpowered by an inhuman howl filling the room. She doesn’t look back. Terrified and inches from the door, a menacing growl resonates behind her. ADLEY shrieks and wrestles with the icy handle. The door opens. ADLEY trips on the sheet and pitches forward, falling with arms forward across the threshold, half in, half out of the room.
The hand clamps down on her foot, and she writhes helplessly, tears streaming down her face.
ADLEY
(screams)
Nooo!It slowly pulls her back into the room, dragging her toward the bottom of the bed. ADLEY claws at the carpet fibers in the hallway and gives a single powerful kick. The MONSTER flies off her foot, careens across the floor and underneath the bed.
ADLEY scrambles to her feet. The hand charges from under the bed.
INT – UPSTAIRS HALLWAY – NIGHT
ADLEY jumps into the hallway and seizes the icy handle, and pulls the door shut. The door shudders when the hand slams against it. She hears bone fragments clattering and rolling on the floor.
ADLEY’S panting and her knees buckle. Her parents race down the hallway as she drops onto the carpet.
ROGER
Adley!CAROLINE
(behind Roger)
What happened?They kneel beside ADLEY, and she breaks down.
ADLEY
(sobbing)
It’s in my room!
(points to the door)
It tried to pull me under the bed!ROGER
What did?ADLEY
(shrieks)
That thing!ROGER’S eyesbrows lift and CAROLINE gapes at ADLEY. ROGER cradles ADLEY in his arms.
ROGER
(soothing)
It’s okay, Deedee.ADLEY
(quietly)
No. It’s not okay.CAROLINE
(feels Adley’s forehead, speaks to ROGER)
She’s burning up.ADLEY
(pushes CAROLINE’S hand away)
It’s under my bed.CAROLINE
(calmly)
You have a fever, sweetheart. You must have been hallucinating.ADLEY
(louder)
No, I wasn’t.ROGER
(lays ADLEY in CAROLINE’S arms, speaks to CAROLINE)
What in the world shook her so badly?CAROLINE shakes her head. ROGER steps to the bedroom door.
ADLEY
(frightened)
No, Dad. Don’t go in there.CAROLINE
(rocking ADLEY)
Sshhh! It’s okay, honey. Honestly, you’re acting as if an alien lives under your bed.ADLEY
(hysterically)
It’s not an alien. It’s a skeleton hand. It grabbed my foot and tried to pull me under the bed!ROGER’S has a blank expression. He then shares a doubtful look with CAROLINE. He pushes the door farther open as Adley wrestles free from CAROLINE’S hold. She lunges for her father’s foot.
ADLEY
No, Dad. Stop!ROGER
(peels ADLEY’S hand off his foot)
It’s okay.ROGER motions to CAROLINE, and she pulls Adley back into her arms and keeps a firmer hold. ROGER sticks his hand inside the bedroom and switches on the light, but the room remains dark.
ROGER
The bulbs must have burned out.ADLEY
No, they didn’t.
(looks from him to her mother)
It must have broken the lights, and it only likes to come out in the dark.ADLEY sees the darkened mist around her parents, but they don’t notice it. ADLEY slumps into CAROLINE’S arms, exhausted.
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Carole Avila — Supporting Characters
My vision: My writing skills are in demand by the writing industry, because I provide exceptionally crafted, well-loved and inspirational stories enjoyed by all ages that compel professionals to produce my work onscreen and in print.
What I learned from doing this assignment is making sure my supporting characters serve a valid purpose in the script.
My supporting character profiles:
Support 1:
• Name: Lieutenant Franz
• Role: Crooked and violent army officer
• Main purpose: He is assigned by Captain Sanders to garner livestock for the army, mainly cattle and horses, from local ranchers.
• Value: Franz takes livestock for his own gain. He attacks Carmena when she defends her property, right before Mandy time-travels to the past. Franz is the ex-husband of Violet Wright, who will be the new housekeeper who Mandy is trying to fix up with Carlos. He will eventually confront Carlos and shoot him in a drunken brawl.Support 2:
• Name: Captain Charles Sanders
• Role: Army officer who is falling in love with Mandy as the new Carmena.
• Main purpose: To provide protection from Native American Indians, Mexican bandits, and confederate soldiers to ranchers in the area.
• Value: The guns that Carmena and her men are stealing come from the army, weapons stored at an old ranch south of hers that Captain Sanders has his men guarding.Support 3:
• Name: Jesse Calhoun
• Role: Loyal and dependable ranch hand, oldest employee on ranch
• Main purpose: Helps Carlos run the ranch; takes care of horses
• Value: With the other men on the ranch, Jesse helps raid the army warehouse of guns and is shot during the ensuing melee.Support 4:
• Name: Angela Martinez
• Role: Housekeeper
• Main purpose: Hardworking, she helps take care of feeding ranchers, keeping home clean, and keeping an eye on the well-being of the other workers.
• Value: She is the illegitimate daughter of the injured dictator, Santa Anna, found on the ranch. She sees Carmena as more of a daughter, although she’s only about a dozen years older than Carmena.Support 5:
• Name: Javier Martinez
• Role: Loyal ranch hand
• Main purpose: Hardworking, best friend to Jesse
• Value: Source of feedback for Carlos, provides dramatic moment when Jesse is shot and dying. He and Angela were politically involved in Mexico and attempted to assassinate Santa Anna because he was a violent leader, close to a dictator.Support 6:
• Name: Violet Wright
• Role: New housekeeper, Lieutenant Franz’s ex-wife
• Main purpose: Love interest for Carlos so he’ll no longer want Mandy as Carmena.
• Value: Is there when her drunk ex-husband confronts Carlos. She shoots Franz and saves Carlos’ life.Support 7:
• Name: Martino Martinez
• Role: Angela and Javier’s son
• Main purpose: Young but loyal ranch hand, early on is very responsible and dependable.
• Value: He is usually a lookout. Warns of the soldiers about to raid the ranch. He uses his slingshot to keep Franz from shooting Carlos. -
Carole Avila – Scares, Releases, and Creepy moments
What I learned doing this assignment is how the right emotional response at a certain time can create a better horrifying scene.
A scene that uses scares, releases, and creepy moments:
INT – ADLEY’S ROOM – NIGHT
ADLEY fell asleep while her mother was talking to her in the room. She is dreaming that she’s cold, shivering in her sleep. A soft tapping rises from under the bed and startles ADLEY awake. She bolts upright. The room is in ambient moonlight.
ADLEY
(looking about the room, whispers)
“Mom?”ADLEY scrambles onto her feet, hanging onto the headboard. She notices the four-inch wide wooden slat capping the frame shift under her weight as she tries to hold on. She forces a couple of long pulls of air to slow her heart rate and her breath mists in front of her.
She waits, doesn’t hear another sound. ADLEY slowly steps across the mattress to the foot of the bed, looks down, not seeing anything. She hears tapping crossing from the floor beneath the headboard to below where she stands at the edge of the bed. She staggers back to the headboard. The same tapping trails her underneath the bed back to below the headboard.
ADLEY
(whispers)
Crap.A distinct hiss filled the room. She glances at the door, and is about to scream for her parents when she hears more hissing. She tries to scream but nothing comes out but a guttural sob. Adley hears scratching, then more tapping.
She takes her socks off and wriggles one onto her right hand and bunches the other into a tight ball.
She gets in a ready-to-run position and tosses the sockball toward the windows. Nothing chases it, but she stares at the foot of the bed and sees the comforter move. She looks up at the door, then down to the foot of the bed.
On impulse, Adley blindly reaches over and grips the bedside lamp, yanking the cord out of the socket. She raises the lamp into the air, ready to strike. A single ivory finger at the edge of the mattress beckons her forward with a sharp-tipped nail.
A metallic click unnerves her and the door opens. CAROLINE turns on the light and gasps at the sight of her daughter, an antique Spanish lamp in one hand, a sock on the other.
ADLEY
(just above a whisper)
Do you see anything on the floor at the foot of the bed?CAROLINE, wide eyed and gaping, looks at the bed.
CAROLINE
The dust ruffle just moved. Oh, no! Roger!CAROLINE jumps onto the bed and collides with Adley. They hug and shout.
ADLEY / CAROLINE
Dad! / Roger!They hear footsteps thumping down the hallway. They try to stay balanced on the mattress, clinging to one another.
ADLEY
(speaks normally)
Mom, did you see it?CAROLINE
(shouts)
See what?ADLEY
Why are you screaming?CAROLINE
(shouts)
Because I saw the dust ruffle move!ROGER enters the bedroom, clutching a golf club. He stares at ADLEY and CAROLINE, frightened and tangled in the lamp cord.
CAROLINE
(shouts)
It’s another mouse! Don’t just stand there! Get it! Get it!ROGER
(calmly)
Let me guess.
(steps to bed)
It’s under the bed.ADLEY
Dad! Watch out! It’s some kind of creepy hand or something.ROGER stares blankly at ADLEY. He huffs and kneels on the floor, laying the golf club beside him. He lifts the bed skirt and inspects the dark area.
ROGER
(yelling)
My gosh!ADLEY and CAROLINE scream. ROGER lifts the sockball with his fingertips.
ROGER
Lucky thing I set the club down. I almost killed your sock.ROGER tosses the sockball onto the bed, then makes an obvious assessment of the sock on ADLEY’S hand.
ROGER
They go on your feet, sweetheart.CAROLINE
(big exhale)
Thank goodness that’s all it was.ADLEY
(raises her voice)
Mom, you saw it. A sock couldn’t make the dust ruffle move.CAROLINE
Now, honey, I was slightly upset at the time.ROGER extends his hand and assists CAROLINE to the floor.
ROGER
Slightly?ADLEY
I threw my sock at the window. How could it get under the bed?ROGER
(As he takes the lamp away from ADLEY)
Lousy shot?ROGER offers his hand to help her down, but she ignores it.
ADLEY
(still shouting at CAROLINE)
You said you saw the dust ruffle move!CAROLINE
(shrugs)
It was moving because you were jumping on the bed. I was horrified at the thought of seeing another mouse, just like you.ADLEY pounces on the floor and jabs an accusing index finger toward CAROLINE.
ADLEY
You saw it, Mom, and you know that’s not what it was!ROGER
Calm down, Deedee.ADLEY
(screeching)
I will not calm down, and my name is Adley!ROGER
(mad, but keeping voice even)
I think we should have an early breakfast, Caroline.ROGER sets the lamp on the floor and picks up his golf club.
CAROLINE
I think so.ADLEY
I can’t believe this! You saw it!CAROLINE
(teeth slightly clenched)
That is quite enough! I’m not going to keep arguing. Come down to breakfast and, if you must, we can calmly discuss what happened, after you’ve settled down.CAROLINE follows ROGER out of the room. Adley looks around the room and her eyes pop open.
ADLEY
Wait for me! -
ASSIGNMENT
Carole Avila – Character Profiles Part 2
My vision: My writing skills are in demand by the writing industry, because I provide exceptionally crafted, well-loved and inspirational stories enjoyed by all ages that compel professionals to produce my work onscreen and in print.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how my characters can evolve from the beginning of conception to the end of writing a script.
Mandy Ruhe – Protagonist (as Carmena Luebber)
An immature and irresponsible woman from the future is sent to Texas, 1845, and assumes the identity of a hard-working ranch owner. She is in her early twenties and has unruly brunette hair. Mandy must assume the responsibilities of the ranch owner and can’t return to her own time until she saves a ranch from financial ruin, steals guns from an army storehouse, and prevents the southwestern states from returning to possession by the Mexican government.Mandy wants to be a better person and make a difference in her life, but doesn’t know where to start. She is impulsive and for this reason doesn’t always make good decisions. Sometimes she lets her own desires influence her actions. When big issues arise on the ranch, Mandy wants to escape with her time travel device but doesn’t know how to make it work. Mandy must keep her real identity a secret, but her ranch manager suspects something isn’t right about Carmena.
She’s afraid to take care of so many people when she can barely take care of herself. Mandy, as Carmena, must save the ranch from financial ruin and avoid falling in love with the men who love the ‘real’ owner. Mandy moves from being apathetic to learning to care for her ranch employees, putting in effort to learn her way around the ranch, doing things that are hard for her, like mucking stalls and taking care of barn animals. She also uses her knowledge of the future to create a financial portfolio for the ranch, and eventually learns to take on the responsibility of the ranch. She feels her employees are her family as she only has a few relations in the future.
She easily relates to the children, has a secret crush on the ranch owner (the ‘real’ Carmena thinks of him as a brother), has a bigger crush on the Captain (the ‘real’ Carmena keeps him at bay in favor of running the ranch). She learns from the real Carmena’s memories that she thinks of Carlos like a brother. Mandy wants to hire a new housekeeper so the ranch owner will keep his mind off Carmena.
As Carmena, Mandy must pretend she knows what she’s doing in order to run the ranch efficiently. She uses her knowledge of the future to try to create positive changes for her employees. Although has fallen in love with Captain Sanders, she learns if she stays in the past, she can change the course of history. She is willing to steal guns from the army for Santa Anna in exchange for her time travel device, and must steal them from the army warehouse that the Captain is in charge of protecting. Mandy inadvertently uses terms from the future unheard of in the past. She grows into a responsible adult and is willing to see her own life with a new perspective. She grows a “can do” attitude.
Carlos Solis Protagonist (Triangle)
Carlos is loyal and hardworking, is fiercely loyal and devoted to the ranch and protective of Carmena. He’ll do whatever is necessary to help her, even when he suspects she isn’t who she says she is. He is a Mexican man in his mid-thirties, physically well-built and ruggedly handsome.Carlos suspects something off about Carmena and is determined to find out what it is. When he discovers Mandy’s true identity, he teaches her about her role on the ranch and the history of her employees. Although he is in love with the real Carmena, he learns that she doesn’t return his feelings.
He has no family of his own and has abandonment issues. He takes care of everyone on the ranch; he wants their happiness. He takes his role of ranch manager seriously. He has a perfect command of English as the original owner of the ranch, Carmena’s now deceased father, Heinrich Luebber, raised Carlos like his own son. Carlos is kind and has a strong desire to do right by the ranch.
Carlos loves Carmena but hides his true feelings. He is somewhat controlling and protective of her. He likes that she (Mandy as Carmena) initially physically responds to him when they’re alone. He learns of Carmena’s new identity, that she’s from the future. He tries to convince her not to pursue a relationship with the captain and tries to sabotage their relationship.
He doesn’t tell Mandy, as Carmena, that he is directing his men in gunrunning activities. Carlos is level headed, but succumbs to his emotional desires and becomes emotionally upset seeing Carmena interact with the captain. He doesn’t want to relinquish control of the ranch to Mandy after learning her new identity. He disapproves of her spending money on ranch essentials—a new stove, another housekeeper, spoiling the employees with rewards. Carlos tries to convince Mandy not to return to her own time.
Although he wants a romantic relationship with Carmena, he needs a relationship with someone who nurtures him instead. Carlos suffers unrequited love with Carmena and has to learn to accept how she feels about him, not loving him as he loves her.
Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna — Antagonist
Santa Anna is exiled from Mexico and Mandy, as Carmena, finds him injured on her ranch. Santa Anna steals her amulet and blackmails her for weapons. He’s in his late thirties, is handsome, clever, and desperate. He’s also conniving, manipulative, and dishonest. He’s a good bad guy to dislike.His own family tried to have him killed, but they only managed to injured him when a cannon ball destroys his leg. That deeply hurt him both emotionally and physically. His bad leg keeps him in a lot of pain.
Carmena has her housekeeper, Angela, nurse him in the secret bunkhouse. She confesses she is his illegitimate daughter and is the one who tried to have him killed along with the husband. Santa Anna is polite to Carmena, while trying to think of a way to blackmail her. He manages to steal Carmena’s time-travel amulet and will only return it in exchange for guns.
Santa Anna is desperate for change in his country’s politics and needs power and recognition. He needs weapons to create an army and organize a coup against the current Mexican government.
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ASSIGNMENT
Carole Avila – Level 3 Horror Emotion Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is how specific emotions elevate a scene.
INT – Hallway Upstairs – Night
VICTOR pulls ADLEY by the arm, but she won’t budge. She’s staring at the midway landing, into the eyes of the monster.
VICTOR
C’mon, it’s going to kill us!ADLEY tears away from him and glowers at the crouched monster, about to catapult itself. She takes a quick breath.
ADLEY
(reciting fast)
I now remove this untrue curse, and its hold on me altogether. It is dissolved into a state of nothingness now and forever!The MONSTER cries out and convulses, howling as its bones move around its body. It finally stills, its eyes crease into slashes. It looks up at ADLEY, then its eyes widen on VICTOR. ADLEY pulls him half-way in front of her.
ADLEY
Now you have to touch it.VICTOR
You want me to touch that?The MONSTER leaps at VICTOR and ADLEY who jump out of the way. It crashes into the wall, breaking into bone fragments, and a tiny piece pierces ADLEY’S shoulder, burning her skin. She quivers. As they start to bolt down the hallway toward her bedroom, ADLEY yanks the splinter from her body and throws it at the other pieces.
VICTOR
No! I need that!ADLEY
I’m sorry. I should have given that piece—ADLEY bends her backward as if there’s pain in her back, and VICTOR breaks her fall. She collapses into his arms. He spies a bone fragment just out of reach.
VICTOR
Get up! I need to touch a piece of its bone!By the time he helps ADLEY to stand, the pieces of bones have amassed together. The MONSTER has changed into a hulking torso and a skull resembling a prehistoric alligator with elongated legs and raptor claws, a thick jaw, and shark-like teeth. It snaps and lumbers toward them.
VICTOR
(pushing ADLEY)
Go! Go!They race toward the other end of the hall, trapped. VICTOR shields ADLEY. They stare wide-eyed as the MONSTER slowly plods toward them, hissing and snickering, licking the rim above its mouth with dripping acid-like saliva that burns the carpet. Its talons catch on the carpet, easily tearing through the fibers. It screeches.
ADLEY
(tries to wrestle out of Victor’s hold)
It can’t kill me! Let me help get a piece of its bone!VICTOR
It can still hurt you. You felt how it burned.ADLEY
(holding onto Victor at her side)
What are we going to do?The MONSTER shrieks again.
VICTOR
Don’t worry!ADLEY is shocked by Victor’s comment as the MONSTER advances. VICTOR searches for a way out.
VICTOR
We have only one place to go!
(he shoves ADLEY toward her bedroom door)ADLEY
No way!
(She grasps the door frame and struggles as he tries to push her inside.)
It lives under my bed! We can’t go in there!VICTOR pushes her into the room.
VICTOR
It can go anywhere it wants now that the handle is off the door.ADLEY and VICTOR plunge into the room with everything frosted over. Their breath mists as they gasp. The MONSTER jumps at them and misses. Momentum carries it into the wall at the end of the corridor and it shatters. As VICTOR slams the bedroom door shut, they hear bone fragments breaking against the wall and scattering over the carpet. VICTOR whirls around.
VICTOR
I can pick up a broken piece of bone!ADLEY
(as Victor yanks the door open)
No, Victor! Wait!VICTOR stands face to face with the MONSTER. It hisses, jerks its head back, and spits out its deadly tongue. VICTOR slams the door and jumps on ADLEY’s bed where she’s already standing at the broken headboard, shivering. They hear the bones break apart on the door.
VICTOR
I missed another chance to destroy that bloody thing.They huddled atop the bed as the creature repeatedly rams the door.
ADLEY
(voice thinned by trauma)
You have to touch it.VICTOR
(mutters while looking about the room)
I know, I know. And I will if it’s the last thing I do.ADLEY
(stares into his eyes, crying)
Don’t make it the last thing, Victor.He gives her a sad smile. They gaze at the MONSTER’S shadow moving back and forth under the crack of the door. It’s still pounding, and the hinges are starting to break.
ADLEY
(pointing at the door)
The hinges are starting to loosen!ADLEY has a white-knuckle hold on VICTOR. There’s a loud scrape on the door. ADLEY notices he’s too quiet, thinking.
ADLEY
You’re going to say something I don’t want to hear, aren’t you?VICTOR
(voice firm)
Stay here. I have a plan.ADLEY
(whimpering)
I was right. I didn’t want to hear that.
(VICTOR pushes ADLEY against the headboard)ADLEY
(trying to grab him, wrap legs around him, hysterical)
You’re not leaving me!VICTOR
(teetering on the mattress with ADLEY)
Let go! Don’t worry. I’ve got this.Victor struggles to stand upright, flinches as Adley shouts in his ear.
ADLEY
You’re not going anywhere, Victor Trumillo!VICTOR
You’re going to make us fall down!VICTOR manages to wriggle out of her grasp and shove her away at arm’s length. He digs his hands into her shoulders.
VICTOR
I’ll never leave you, Adley. You’re stuck with me. For life.She gapes open mouth, and he quickly kisses her, then pries her fingers off. He exhales as he rubs his arms. They fix their eyes on each other as he pulls away from her. Adley gasps as he jumps to the floor and kneels at the foot of her bed. He gazes purposefully at her while the frame of the door starts to come apart.
ADLEY
(holding arms out to VICTOR)
Please! No! Don’t leave me here!VICTOR
(calm, unemotional)
Trust me, Adley.VICTOR disappears beneath the bed.
ADLEY
(screaming over pounding on door)
I trust you, Victor!
(swipes her tears)
Stay here! Please!
(ADLEY crawls to the end of the bed but doesn’t see him )
Victor!
(mumbling)
No. Come back, Victor. Please, come back.A deafening roar blasts from the hallway, and the bedroom door burst open. Adley lurches back at the sight of the bizarre skeleton with an oversized head on a deformed body. It bobs up and down like a puppet on an invisible piece of elastic and bounces toward the bed.
ADLEY stumbles back to the headboard and feels the smooth surface. She skims her fingers over the ivory shapes. She stares at the MONSTER.
ADLEY
(quietly, seriously)
This bed is made of bones.The MONSTER cackles and inches forward until its at the foot of the bed. It stares at her, and she continues to gape at it. Its eyes grows into large asterisk-shapes, black and hollow. It sneers and tilts its head all the way below its shoulder.
MONSTER
(low, harsh hissing)
Aaadd—ADLEY
(whimpering)
No! Don’t you dare say my name! You have no right to say it!MONSTER
(snarling)
Aaad-leee!ADLEY grows angry with a new resolve. She takes firm hold of the headboard.
ADLEY
I’m going to give you a piece of my mind!MONSTER
(wicked hissing)
Yesssss! Piece by piece!
(it bounces and cackles)ADLEY
That’s not what I meant!
(glances at the headboard)
You killed children to make this bed! You hurt people who didn’t deserve it, you…you sorry waste of energy!MONSTER
(bouncing in wicked delight)
Now you die!
ADLEY
(indignant)
I said the counter-curse. You can’t kill me!MONSTER
(wicked laughter)
You will wish to die!
(dagger-like fingers wiggle at her, it sneers)
You shall die drop by bloody drop!ADLEY crouches into a ball, limbs tucked beneath. The MONSTER’s bony arms lengthen and stretch toward her feet, cutting through the blankets. ADLEY is sobbing.
ADLEY
(shouting)
Victor! I need you!Taloned claws leap out and grab her ankles. ADLEY cries out as the sharp fingernails pierce her jeans and dig into her flesh. Its body slithers under the bed. She hears it snicker. Its hands start to pull on her.
ADLEY
(shouts, holding onto headboard)
Dad! Help! It’s pulling me under.
(a pause, in a near whisper)
Great-uncle Pablo. Victor.ADLEY loses her hold on the headboard. Her legs are dragged out and she is pulled horizontally on her stomach across the mattress. She uselessly clutches at the comforter and pillows.
ADLEY
(her feet at the end of the mattress; she groans)
No, no.The MONSTER roars below the bed. One of its claws releases her foot and whips up to her chin. ADLEY screams and kicks, trying to smash the hand on her other ankle as it runs a sharp fingernail down her cheek, creating a bloody line to her chin. It whips back and latches onto her foot. She twists onto back and lurches over the edge of the bed. Her feet hit the floor, and she stands, flapping her arms for balance. Another ferocious tug on her ankles sends her flying forward. Her arms slap the floor and break her fall. While the MONSTER is hissing and cackling, she slowly slides farther under the bed, her fingers scratching against the floor.
A rope-like hand whips past her, slams the door closed, and she hears a definitive click of the lock, then whips back under the bed. A wicked screech fills the room as she is slowly towed under the bed, only her torso sticking out.
ADLEY
(the side of her face slides on the floor toward under the bed; whispers)
Victor.The MONSTER drags her almost all the way under the bed. Only her hands are showing, scratching against the floor.
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Carole Avila – Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is how much scarier a scene can be when incorporating the right emotional responses.
Write a scene that uses all three of the horror emotions of fear, suspense, and dread:
INT – ADLEY’S ROOM – NIGHT
ADLEY nudges the freezing handle and pushes on the door. It slowly opens. She switches on the light and takes a few hesitant steps into the room, leaving the door wide-open behind her. She scans the room and shakes her head. ADLEY steps back, turning to the door, but it is closed. The overhead light flickers off and on. ADLEY gasps and spins, facing the room. A hulking shadow in the far corner of the room starts to materialize into a shape. Her eyes widen, and the lights go out.
With ambient moonlight, ADLEY turns around and runs toward the door. With a shaking hand, she grabs the handle, and her fingertips sizzle on the cold surface. She whips her hand back and quickly flicks on light. The shadow is now directly in front of her. At the ‘head’ of the onyx mass, a spidery hand emerges, attached to a string of bones. The clawed limb flies outward and tries grab ADLEY, but she lurches to the side. The skeletal hand and tail smash into the door and the bones clatters into pieces onto the floor.
ADLEY runs to the far corner of the room and is horrified as the broken bones reconnect like a magnet. The hand jumps onto the handle and locks the door.
ADLEY
No!
(covers her mouth)The spidery hand pounces to the floor and scurries under the bed, but the black mist reappears in front of the door and starts to take shape. ADLEY snatches a picture frame off the dresser and flings it at the shadow. It dissolves. ADLEY sprints for the door.
Out of nowhere, the skeletal hand shoots into the air in front of her, hovering over the door with its fingers spread like a catcher’s mitt. ADLEY slides low on her socks beneath the bones and collides with the door. The spindly hand grabs her foot. She cries out and slams her foot on the floor, crushing the bony hand. It breaks into pieces and scatters across the floor like marbles. ADLEY scrambles to her feet and is frozen when she hears a voice.
CURSE
(in a wicked, whispery voice)
Aaad…Wicked CACKLING fills the room.
ADLEY
Shut up! Don’t you say my name!ADLEY grabs hold of the handle and cries out at the freezing burn to her skin. She yanks the door open and looks back. The claw-like hand with sharp nails flies directly at her face. ADLEY pulls the door closed. She hears the clatter of bone against the door. ADLEY hunches over in the hallway, gasping for breath.
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Carole Avila – Horror Outline Version 1
THIS IS ONLY A PART OF MY OUTLINE. IT WILL TAKE ME DAYS TO FINISH WRITING IT ALL OUT, SO I DECIDED TO POST WHAT I HAVE SO FAR. THE REST OF THE STORY IS FLESHED OUT, BUT NOT WRITTEN IN OUTLINE FORM.
What I learned is how all the pieces of the lessons we’ve learned knit into a cohesive script.
INT — MANSION STAIRWELL — NIGHT
An old lady, frightened and near tears, sticks her head out her bedroom door in a Spanish style mansion. She steps into the hallway in her night gown and robe clutching the neck. She steps barefooted to the top of the stairs, looking down at the mid-way landing. Nothing is there. She steps silently to the landing and scans the large foyer. Nothing is there. “Who’s there?” she calls out, and continues downstairs. After the first couple of steps, as she’s looking down, a sharp, skeletal finger pushes her in the back and she falls down the stairs hits the floor. She moans and then passes out.
EXT — MANSION FRONT OF HOUSE — DAY
Adley and her parents arrive at her deceased grandmother’s Spanish mission-style mansion in Hachita in the New Mexico desert. The nearest neighbor is a mile away. Adley is irritated. She forgot her cell phone at home and her father wouldn’t go back to get it because they were three hours out.
Her father mentions the mansion is called Capilla Manor and shares a little history of the building. At the front door, they’re greeted by a burst of cold air. Her father says that’s because the house was closed up for a several months.INT — MANSION DOWNSTAIRS — DAY
Adley and her mother explore the house and Adley hears strange noises above the kitchen. Her mother, Caroline, says it’s probably Adley’s father, Roger, putting luggage away. In the foyer, her father enters with their bags, optimistic about their stay. Adley asks if he’s been upstairs, but he hasn’t.
INT — MANSION UPSTAIRS HALLWAY — DAY
Adley asks to sleep in the maid’s quarters downstairs, but her parents veto the idea, saying they’d rather have her upstairs near them. Adley picks the room at the farthest end of the hallway, and her parents try to convince her to take a room closer to theirs, which is Grandma Aggies former bedroom, but Adley makes a stink about getting the bedroom at the end of the hallway and her parents give in because they hate her temper tantrums.
A dark mist forms in front of Adley’s bedroom door, but only she can see it. She thinks it’s because the last lightbulb at the end of the hall is out. Adley grips the handle, and it’s freezing cold handle. She realizes the room is directly above the kitchen, where she heard the strange noises.
She enters the room and still has the creeps. She sees the dust ruffle move at the foot of her bed. Her mother enters and startles her. The mother says it’s time for dinner and leaves. The dust ruffle moves again. Adley rushes out after her.INT — DINING ROOM — EVENING
During dinner, Roger and Caroline discuss potential improvements on the property. Adley is still feeling frightened and after dinner, goes up to her room, determined to find out what moved the dust ruffle.
INT — ADLEY’S BEDROOM — EVENING
Adley inspects her room and looks under the bed, seeing only dust balls. She changes into her jams and sits on the edge of the bed, thinking about where to hang a picture. Something tickles her foot and puts her feet on the bed. She looks under her bed again and sees a white blur crawling deeper beneath the bed. Scared, she sits up on the bed. Her father knocks on the door and sees her upset, wanting to know what is wrong. He says there’s nothing there. She said the dust ruffle moved, and he explains that old houses have lots of cracks in the floor or baseboard molding. He said she could have also made it flutter when she was moving on the bed. He leaves the room.
That night Adley falls asleep as a shadow slides off the wall and forms into a snaky mist. It slithers under the bed.INT — DINING ROOM — DAY
During breakfast the parents ask Adley if she wants to drive to the small town of Minero. Her father explains it’s a great old mining town. After finding out there’s nothing to do there, Adley says she may go later when she’s desperate. After she leaves, Caroline assures Roger that Adley won’t be so grumpy after she settles in.
INT — ADLEY’S BEDROOM — DAY
Adley spends the day bored out of her skull and is actually grateful for bedtime. She gets in her pajamas and falls asleep.
Adley wakes in the middle of the night. She was having nightmares, thinking she heard something and that the room is ice cold. She wakes suddenly but can’t remember what her nightmare was about. As she’s drifting off to sleep, she hears a sound like a nail being filed. Then she hears a light drumming, like someone impatiently tapping their fingers. She hears someone in the hall and calls out for either parent.
Her mother comes to the room, and Adley says there’s something under the bed. Caroline looks under the bed and screams. She jumps on the bed with Adley, screaming for her husband. Her mother accidentally knocks the lamp off the nightstand, and it breaks. A mouse rushes across the floor. Roger finds a discarded shoebox and catches it.
Caroline asks Adley if she’s ready to switch rooms, and Adley goes into her cranky mood. The mother leaves, irritated, and shuts off the light and closes the door.
Adley is afraid to be alone, but is eventually so tired, she starts to fall asleep. A huge, dark figure forms into a deformed skeleton with fangs, but she’s sot tired, she thinks it’s the shadow of a tree from outside making the dark figure. It dances like a puppet without strings and thrusts claw-like hands at the bed. Its black pincers clamp onto one of Adley’s feet and moves it side-to-side. Adley shakes it off in her sleep. The pincers dissolve into a mist and drifts under the bed.INT — ADLEY’S BEDROOM — DAY
Adley wakes up and rubs her foot, knowing something is off. She tumbles out of bed and gets things to wear for the day. She hears more tapping under the bed and rushes out the room. She looks back, but sees and hears nothing. She put her hand inside a sock so as not to feel the stinging cold on her hand.
She picks up her stuff and runs downstairs to change in the maid’s quarters. She meets her parents in the dining room for breakfast. They comment on how tired she looks. They say they’re going to clean up the bottom level of the house (dusting, washing windows), and Adley, who is behaving very pleasantly, offers to help. When she leaves the room, her father says they might have to buy more mice.
INT – ADLEY’S ROOM — NIGHT
Adley is exhausted after a day of cleaning. She grabs jams from her room and runs back into the hallway, not hearing or seeing anything. She showers in the bathroom. She concocts a plan to have one of her parents to to her room. There, she’ll see if they hear noises. If not, they could help her search the room for whatever is making the noise.
Her mother walks down the hall and at the door, watches Adley put a sock on her hand to open the door. Adley says the handle is dirty. She then asks inane questions to keep her mom in the room, hoping she’ll hear the noises. Caroline asks her what’s wrong and Adley says she doesn’t want to stay there. Caroline thinks she has the creeps because her grandmother died in the house, but Adley denies it.
Her mother leaves the room, and Adley hears and sees nothing. She gets in bed, leaving the light on, and is eventually so tired, she lulls off to sleep.
Adley snaps awake hours later. The light is off. Something tickled the bottom of her foot, then it jabs her. She screams for her parents, but they’re so tired and don’t hear her. Adley jumps off the bed and rushes to the door. She puts her hand on the icy handle, and it burns. She pulls her hand back and hears hissing. She looks over her shoulder and sees a skeletal hand crawling like a spider across the mattress, heading towards her. Adley grabs the handle and it burns her hand, but she tears the door open and jumps in the hallway. The hand crawls under the bed. She hears an ugly snicker and slams the door. She holds her hand and bolts downstairs.INT — GREAT ROOM — NIGHT
Adley sits on the living room sofa and covers herself with a throw blanket. She waits and listens, but nothing happens. She starts to nod off. She hears an occasional thump or hiss and it wakes her. She stays on the sofa, going in and out of sleep.
INT — STAIRWELL — DAY
Adley is fully awake and has to go upstairs for clothing. She’s at the bottom of the steps and hears nothing. She quietly ascends the stairs. She looks left, but her parents’ door is closed. Adley stands in the hallway and pushes her bedroom door open. All is quiet. She surveys the dust ruffle. Her mother asks what’s wrong and Adley jumps.
She tells her mom about the “weird spindly-legged spider thing, and her mother thinks Adley saw another mouse. Caroline is going to get Roger, but Adley convinces her to say while she gets clothes. Her mom agrees, thinking Adley is afraid of the mouse.
In the hallway, Adley follows her mother, who goes into her room. Adley glances back down the hall and sees that the shadowed area has grown darker and is pulsating. She runs downstairs.INT — GREAT ROOM — DAY
Adley spends another day bored. She reads old magazines and watches a bunch of old movies (DVDs.)
INT — UPSTAIRS HALLWAY — NIGHT
Roger said he found another lamp to put in Adley’s room since her mother broke the other one. Caroline sees her daughter’s unenthusiastic response and walks Adley to her room.
INT — ADLEY’S BEDROOM — NIGHT
Caroline steps right through the dark mist, not seeing it. She opens the door and has no reaction to the door handle. The lamp shade is awful—faded and looks like rawhide. She said the bed would be great without the ugly lampshade and the ugly headboard, made of yellowed, ivory sticks.
Adley sees this as a chance to get her pajamas and a change of clothes. Caroline says they can shop for a bed online, and Adley tells her it doesn’t matter because they’ll eventually return home. At this, Caroline presses her lips together and doesn’t say anything.
Her mom starts talking about decorating ideas while Adley gathers her stuff, yawning because she’s emotionally exhausted. Her mother mentions she wanted a degree in interior design and that surprises Adley, who rarely gets to share conversations like this with her mom. Caroline sits on the bed and tells Adley about her college days and pranks they played on other students.
Adley sets her pile of things on the dresser and sits next to Caroline against the headboard as she continues sharing funny college stories. Adley is so relaxed, she falls asleep. Caroline pulls the comforter over her and starts out of the room. She thinks she sees a black from rush across the room, like a hand with long fingers, but she decides it was probably an owl flying past the window. She shuts off the light and closes the door.INT — ADLEY’S BEDROOM — EARLY MORNING
Adley dreams of being cold. She is startled into wakefulness, hearing a noise under the bed. She sees she’s in the dark and alone in her room. She scrambles to her feet and holds onto the ugly headboard for leverage. The cap is loose, but that doesn’t matter when she hears more noise under the bed.
She inches to the foot of the bed and hears tapping on the floor, crossing from the headboard to the foot of the mattress. She runs back to the headboard and the same tapping trails under the bed. Then a distinct hiss fills the room.
Adley has an idea. She puts a sock on one hand (to open the door quickly) and balls up the other, and throws it so whatever is below the bed will chase it, and she can run to the door. Just as she throws it, something tugs at the foot of the bed.
Adley grabs the lamp and the cord rips out of the socket. Her mother opens the door and turns on the light. Adley asks if she sees anything under the bed and her mother said the dust ruffle just moved. She screams and jumps onto the bed with Adley. They both cry out for him.
Roger enters with a golf club asking what’s wrong. Caroline shouts that’s there’s another mouse. He steps calmly to the bed to the bed .and Adley warns him that there’s a crawling hand under there. He lifts the bedskirt and yells. He holds a dirty sock like a soiled diaper and tells Adley she’s lucky he set the club down because he almost killed her sock.
Caroline is relieved and Roger helps her off the bed. Adley accuses her of seeing it, and Caroline says the dust ruffle moved because Adley was moving on the bed. Her parents are mad because of Adley arguing and leave.
Adley grabs her pile of stuff off the dresser and runs after them. She shuts the door and hears tapping on it. She runs to the stairwell as her parents start downstairs.INT — DINING ROOM — DAY
Caroline and Roger feel sorry for Adley because she looks so exhausted. They ask her again to go into Minero, and she says okay.
EXT — GRAVEL PARKING LOT, MINERO — DAY
Adley is complaining about the sleepy old town as her father pulls into a gravel lot in front of a run down but open diner. Her parents are aggravated by her complaining. The server is on a break and puts out her cigarette underfoot. Roger and Caroline say hello, but Adley is frowning her father suggests she got to the library while he and her mom get coffee.
Adley stomps next door to the weed strewn lot and enters the plain building. She sees a horse tethered to a post and smirks.INT — MINERO LIBRARY — DAY
The local sheriff stands at the counter, selling a newspaper to an old lady. She leaves, and the sheriff apparently knows who she is. He asks Adley if her parents are around. He goes to visit them in the diner. Adley explores the deserted library.
She sees Victor Trumillo and huffs. He says something snarky and engages her in conversation. He warns her of an ancient demonic curse that haunts her grandmother’s mansion, a thing that kills the first born child in every generation on their 16th birthday, and she’s about to turn 16. Victor tells Adley that her grandmother was attacked by the creature, and although it didn’t kill her, her health declined from her injuries.
Adley thinks he’s crazy but admits she hears and sees things, but doesn’t want to believe it’s more than mice. Victor says he’ll contact his great-uncle Pablo, a shaman, who is up north helping at someone’s ranch. Victor will talk to his great-uncle to see what they can do about the demon, although Adley still thinks it may be mice.
Victor tells her about a trail in the back of her house. He says he can meet her there and tell her more about the curse in Capilla Manor. She asks why he pronounces it the wrong way. She learns “capilla” means “chapel” but it also refers to a mortuary. “Death House” in Spanish. She agrees to call him and they exchange numbers. The sheriff calls out, saying her parents are leaving.EXT — DINER IN MINERO — DAY
Adley walks to the car. The sheriff tells the parents it was nice meeting them. He asks Adley if she met Victor Trumillo and her mother clamps a hand over her mouth. Adley says yes and keeps an eye on her mother. Caroline asks the sheriff if he said “Trumillo.” The sheriff assures her the Trumillo’s are good people and keep to themselves.
EXT — IN THE CAR HEADING TO HACHITA — DAY
Adley learns from her parents that someone in the Trumillo family wrote letters to her parents, asking them not to come to Capilla Manor. Caroline says they have different beliefs, and wants her to stay away from “that Trumillo boy.” Roger agrees, but more to appease his wife.
EXT — MANSION DRIVEWAY — DAY
They pull into the driveway, and Adley sees that there are no trees outside her 2nd story window. Tree branches couldn’t have made shadows on her wall.
They get out of the car and hear glass shattering. Roger goes inside to inspect the house while Adley and her mother wait outside. He came back out and said he couldn’t find any broken glass. He even looked out back and didn’t see a thing. The house was locked up. Nothing was taken or damaged.
Caroline reminds him that once he said sound carried from the trail behind the house and they accept that as an explanation, although Roger didn’t see anything back there.INT — MANSION FOYER — DAY
Adley asks if she can walk on the trail behind the house, and Roger says he’ll get his hiking boots on. Adley says she wants to go alone and will stay within calling distance.
Her parents go upstairs for a nap, and she calls Victor in the kitchen on the landline. He says to meet her at the big pine tree at the top of the trail leading from her backyard. Adley brushes her hair and puts on a little make-up, convincing herself it has nothing to do with Victor.
She packs her backpack with snacks and water.EXT — MANSION BACKYARD TRAIL — DAY
Adley follows the weed-strewn trail in the back yard to a hiking trail in the backyard. She sees a big pine. Indigenous mesquite, pine trees, and shrubs hide the mansion. Victor rides up on a horse, the one tethered outside of the library.
They take a walk on the trail, and Victor tells her more about the history of the curse, where a gypsy is accused of grave robbing and is attacked by a guard. But the gypsy pushes down the guard, who falls on his knife. As he’s dying, the gypsy curses him, but the guard dies before the curse is completely said, which means the curse now falls onto the gypsy.
Victor also tells Adley that she is a descendant of the gypsy, which is why the curse is going after her. Adley denies it, saying their family is German, not Spanish. Still, she asks if the curse is real, how does she stop it. He says she needs the exact words of the counter-curse, but he doesn’t know it. It’s in a sacred gypsy manuscript but no one knows where it’s at. They believe it’s hidden somewhere in the mansion. He says his Great-uncle Pablo is a shaman and may know, but he’s helping someone on their ranch up north.
Victor tells Adley not to worry because it only gets bad if she starts to see a skeletal hand in the room. Adley tells him she saw something but thought it was an ugly mouse. She tells him about the shadow outside of her room and how cold the door handle is.
He says he tell his great-uncle and ask what to do. Adley tells him to hang up if one of her parents answers. He understands how they feel about his family. He walks her back to the top of the trail behind the mansion.INT — CAPILLA MANOR LIVING ROOM — DAY
Adley needs an excuse to stay outside, away from her room, but also needs to search the property for the gypsy manuscript. She tells her parents she wants to garden, and they offer to get her some seeds. Roger says there are tools in the garage, and he’ll get them, but she says she’ll do it, surprising both her parents.
INT — CAPILLA MANOR GARAGE — DAY
Adley does a thorough search of the garage but doesn’t find the manuscript. She brings in trowels and gloves in a basket and a metal rake.
INT — CAPILLA MANOR BACKYARD — DAY
Adley sets them on the back patio to garden the next day. She looks longingly toward the back trail of the house, remembering her visit with Victor.
INT — CAPILLA MANOR MAID’S QUARTERS — DAY
After dinner she sneaks into the maid’s quarters to get her pajamas, but all her clothes are gone.
INT — CAPILLA MANOR PARENTS’ ROOM — DAY
Adley goes upstairs and asks her mom where her stuff is. Caroline said she put it back in Adley’s room because her parents already told her she can’t sleep downstairs.
Rather than argue about the clothing, Adley asks about her maternal grandparents. Her mom explains that her father was Russian and her mother was Scottish. Adley is relieved they’re not gypsies. Her dad reminds her that his father was German. She thanks him and as she’s leaving the room, he says that Grandma Aggie was Spanish.
Adley argues, saying that Grandma was born in London. Roger points out that Grandma Aggie was the daughter of an English woman, Sondra Wilkes, but her father was a Spaniard, Armando Rodrigues, but the Wilkes family frowned on him because he was a gypsy.INT — ADLEY’S ROOM — EVENING
Adley grabs pajamas and a change of clothes from her room. The tapping and hissing starts and she runs out, slams the door, and goes downstairs.
INT — CAPILLA MANOR LIVING ROOM — EVENING
She gets comfortable on the couch and wakes throughout the night hearing noises from upstairs. It’s so loud, she is starting to believe it’s not mice.
INT — CAPILLA MANOR LIVING ROOM — DAY
The next morning after breakfast, her parents go upstairs and she scours the entire downstairs for the manuscript, looking behind and under furniture, looking for secret hiding places but finds nothing.
INT — CAPILLA MANOR KITCHEN — DAY
She calls Victor to tell him of her search and of her heritage. He’s still waiting to hear back from his great-uncle. He says he’ll finish his chores and see her in an hour at the pine tree.
INT — ADLEY’S ROOM — DAY
Adley figures she’d grab as many things from her room as possible. She meets her mom in the hallway. Not wanting to stay in her room alone, she asks her mom to help her pick out an outfit. Her mother is pleasantly surprise and helps her. Adley tells her that in the library, Victor told her about some girls who ride in the back trail, which makes Caroline happy. Caroline leaves, the noises start, and Adley takes her things downstairs to change.
INT — MAID’S QUARTERS — DAY
Adley hears noises while getting dressed. In the maid’s bathroom, she hears hissing, and then something sounds like it’s saying her name. (“Aaaa. Aaaad…”)
INT — LIVING ROOM — DAY
She grabs her stuff and hides her things in the living room behind the sofa. She runs to the French doors leading to the back patio, and she hears “Aaad-leeey!” behind her, but no one is there. Adley rushes outside.
EXT — TRAIL BEHIND HOUSE — DAYAdley waits for Victor at the pine tree. He rides up on a different horse. His great-uncle can’t leave. Although his work isn’t finished, he’s having trouble with his truck. Victor explains how Aggie said she was pushed downstairs with sticks. His great-uncle knew there was something evil in the house. He nailed the windows in her bedroom shut after filling the sills with sacred objects, and poured them into the door frame and threshold so whatever was in there couldn’t leave the room with the door open.
Victor’s mother, who worked for Aggie and became good friends with her, said everyone heard glass breaking at one time or another. The gardener said he heard snakes hissing but never found one on the property.
Adley tells Victor how she heard it say her name. He says he’ll tell his great-uncle. Victor comforts her and is about to kiss her, but her father calls her. He gives her a quick kiss on the cheek and jumps on his horse, saying he’ll see her later and rides off.
Caroline only sees a dirt cloud and thinks Adley met with the girls Victor told her about. They say they’ll have lunch at the house and Adley offers to fix sandwiches for them, leaving her parents pleasantly surprised. They decide not to tell her that they’re planning of staying at Capilla Manor for good.INT — KITCHEN — NIGHT
Adley calls Victor. She’s still thinking it could be mice in her room. While on the phone, she hears someone upstairs, thinking it could be her parents. She still needs to get more clean clothes from her room.
INT — UPSTAIRS HALLWAY — NIGHT
At the top of the stairs, Adley sees no one. The bulb is burned out at the end of the hallway. It’s darker than usual. Adley nudges the handle with her arm and the door opens. She turns on the light and leaves the door all the way open. She says to herself that clean clothes are so not worth it. She turns to leave, but the door is closed. A dark shape starts to materialize in the corner, but then the light goes out. She runs to the door and grabs the handle, but it is much colder. She yanks her hand back and turns on the light. In the corner, she sees the shadow is gone; now it’s right in front of her.
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Carole Avila – Character Profiles Part 1
My vision: My writing skills are in demand by the writing industry, because I provide exceptionally crafted, well-loved and inspirational stories enjoyed by all ages that compel professionals to produce my work onscreen and in print.
What I learned from doing this assignment is that in depth knowledge of my characters will not only provide a more exciting screenplay, but it will attract leading actors to the role.
Mandy Ruhe (as Carmena Luebber):
A. The High Concept — An immature and irresponsible woman from the future is sent to Texas, 1845, and assumes the identity of a hard-working ranch owner.B. This character’s journey – Mandy, as Carmena, must assume the responsibilities of the ranch owner and can’t return to her own time until she saves a ranch from financial ruin, steals guns from an army storehouse, and prevents the southwestern states from returning to possession by the Mexican government.
C. The Actor Attractors for this character — Mandy wants to be a better person but doesn’t know where to start. She is impulsive and for this reason doesn’t always make good decisions. She must save the ranch from financial ruin and avoid falling in love with the men who love the ‘real’ owner. Mandy moves from being apathetic to learning to care for her ranch employees, to taking on the responsibility of saving the ranch. As Carmena, Mandy must pretend she knows what she’s doing in order to run the ranch efficiently. She uses her knowledge of the future to try to create positive changes for her employees. Mandy learns if she stays in the past, she can change the course of history. Mandy must keep her real identity a secret, but her ranch manager suspects something isn’t right about Carmena. Mandy inadvertently uses terms from the future unheard of in the past. She grows into a responsible adult and is willing to see her own life with a new perspective. She grows a “can do” attitude.
1. Role in the Story: Protagonist — Mandy shuns responsibility, but assumes the identity of hard-working ranch owner, Carmena Luebber,
2. Age range and Description: Early twenties, unruly brunette hair,
3. Core Traits: irresponsible, uncertain, anxious, smart
4. Motivation; Want/Need: desire for something more in life, wants to make a difference, wants to stay with a man she’s fallen in love with, needs to return to her own time
5. Wound: Not a lot of family
6. Likability: Mandy, as she inhabits Carmena’s body, tries hard to learn her way around the ranch.
Relatability: Things are really hard, like mucking stalls and taking care of barn animals.
Empathy: She’s afraid to take care of so many people when she barely can take care of herself.Carlos Solis:
A. The High Concept — Carlos is devoted to Carmena and the ranch; he’ll do whatever is necessary to help her, even when he suspects she isn’t who she says she is.B. This character’s journey — Carlos suspects something off about Carmena. When he discovers Mandy’s true identity, he teaches her about her role on the ranch and the history of her employees. Although he is in love with the real Carmena, he learns that she doesn’t return his feelings.
C. The Actor Attractors — Carlos is fiercely loyal to the ranch and protective of Carmena. Carlos suspects something is off about Carmena and is determined to find out what it is. He likes that she initially physically responds to him when they’re alone. He doesn’t tell Mandy, as Carmena, that he is directing his men in gunrunning activities. Although he loves Carmena, he has to learn to accept how she feels about him. Carlos is level headed, succumbs to his emotional desires, becomes emotionally upset seeing Carmena interact with the captain. He doesn’t want to relinquish control of the ranch to Mandy, after learning her new identity. Carlos tries to convince Mandy not to return to her own time. Carlos is normally soft spoken and in control. He has a perfect command of English as the original owner of the ranch, Carmena’s father, Heinrich Luebber, raised Carlos like his own son. He is kind, loyalty to the ranch and its employees, is passionately devoted to Carmena, and has a strong desire to do right for the ranch, even if it means doing something illegal.
1. Role in the Story: Protagonist (Triangle)
2. Age range and Description: Mid-thirties, physical well built, ruggedly handsome
3. Core Traits: Loyal, hard-working, pro-active
4. Motivation; Want/Need: Wants a romantic relationship with Carmena, needs a relationship with someone who nurtures him instead
5. Wound: No family; abandonment issues
6. Likability: Carlos takes care of everyone on the ranch; he wants their happiness
Relatability: He is hard-working and takes his role of ranch manager seriously
Empathy: Carlos suffers unrequited love with CarmenaAntonio Lopez de Santa Anna — Antagonist
A. The High Concept — After being injured on Carmena’s ranch, he steals her amulet and blackmails her for weapons.B. This character’s journey — After being exiled, he wants to gain weapons to create an army to form a coup against the current Mexican government
C. The Actor Attractors for this character — Santa Anna allows himself to be taken care of by Carmena's housekeeper, Angela. She is his illegitimate daughter who, with her husband, tried to have Santa Anna killed because he was such a cruel dictator in Mexico. He is angry at her, but doesn't try to hurt her because of his desire to get weapons for his political coup. Santa Anna is not a gentleman when Carmena jumps in his bed to hide him when the captain makes an unexpected visit. During that time, he steals Carmena's time travel device and won't return it until she delivers guns to him. He admires Carmena and has a fondness for her, and because of this, she believes he'll return her amulet when he gets the guns.
1. Role in the Story: Antagonist
2. Age range and Description: Late thirties, handsome, clever, desperate
3. Core Traits: conniving, manipulative, dishonest
4. Motivation; Want/Need: Wants to make a coup against his government; needs power and recognition
5. Wound: Exiled by his country; family members tried to kill him
6. Likability: He takes advantage of every situation; a good bad guy to dislike
Relatability: He is physically injured; he’s in a lot of pain from a previous injury in a battle where his leg was blown off
Empathy: He is desperate for change; he is hurt by family who turned against him -
Carole Avila – Likability/Relatability/Empathy
My vision: My writing skills are in demand by the writing industry, because I provide exceptionally crafted, well-loved and inspirational stories enjoyed by all ages that compel professionals to produce my work onscreen and in print.
What I learned from doing this assignment is the necessity of having likable characters in a script.
Protagonist:
• Likability: Mandy, as she inhabits Carmena’s body, tries hard to learn her way around the ranch.
• Relatability: Things are really hard, like mucking stalls and taking care of barn animals.
• Empathy: She’s afraid to take care of so many people when she barely can take care of herself.Antagonist:
• Likability: Santa Anna, the exiled Mexican dictator, is handsome, clever, and charismatic.
• Relatability: He is injured and lost a leg in a previous battle, which causes a lot of pain at the stump of his knee.
• Empathy: He wants to oust the current Mexican president because he’s not a great leader. (Neither was Santa Anna, but he strongly believes he’s a good leader.) -
Carole Avila – Character Intrigue
My vision: My writing skills are in demand by the writing industry, because I provide exceptionally crafted, well-loved and inspirational stories enjoyed by all ages that compel professionals to produce my work onscreen and in print.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to make my characters more exciting by adding intrigue into their roles.
Character Name: Mandy Ruhe
• Role: Time traveler who assumes the body of ranch owner Carmena Luebber.
• Hidden agendas: Wants to hire a new housekeeper so the ranch owner will keep his mind off Carmena. She also uses her knowledge of the future to create a financial portfolio for the ranch. She is willing to steal guns from the army for Santa Anna in exchange for her time travel device.
• Secrets: She is from the future.
• Deception: She sees Carmena’s memories, but doesn’t tell Carlos she knows how the real Carmena really feels about him.
• Secret Identity: She isn’t the real Carmena.Character Name: Carlos Solis
• Role: Ranch manager and loyal employee to Carmena.
• Hidden agendas:
• Competition: Tries to keep the captain away from Carmena by interfering during their visits.
• Conspiracies: He doesn’t tell Mandy as the new Carmena that he and her other employees are selling guns they steal from the army
• Secrets: He loves the real Carmena.Character Name: Charles Sanders
• Role: Captain in the army stationed locally.
• Competition: Rightfully thinks Carlos has a thing for Carmena.
• Unspoken Wound: His wealthy parents disowned him for joining the army and not taking over the family business. -
Carole Avila – Subtext Characters
My vision: My writing skills are in demand by the writing industry, because I provide exceptionally crafted, well-loved and inspirational stories enjoyed by all ages that compel professionals to produce my work onscreen and in print.
What I learned from doing this assignment is the importance of subtext to more fully develop interesting characters.
• Movie Title: Eve’s Amulet (the name of the time-travel device)
Character Name: Mandy Ruhe
• Subtext Identity: An irresponsible adult searching for meaning in her life
• Subtext Trait: Immature, self-centered, impulsive
• Subtext Logline: Mandy, now as Carmena, must learn how to make big decisions in the best interest of other people and her ranch, but lets her own desires influence her actions
• Possible Areas of Subtext: Easily relates to the children, has a secret crush on the ranch owner (the ‘real’ Carmena thinks of him as a brother), has a bigger crush on the Captain (the ‘real’ Carmena keeps him at bay in favor of running the ranch), wants to escape with her time travel device when she has to deal with big issues that arise on the ranch, like discovering a former Mexican dictator who is injured on her ranch and requires medical assistance.Character Name: Carlos Solis
• Subtext Identity: The ranch manager who secretly loves the ‘real’ Carmena; he senses the shift in her persona when Mandy assumes her identity
• Subtext Trait: Fiercely loyal to the ranch and to Carmena. Hides his true feelings. Somewhat controlling and protective of Carmena.
• Subtext Logline: He is suspicious of Carmena’s behavior after Mandy assumes the ‘real’ Carmena’s identity, but he can’t prove what is off. He doesn’t inform the ‘new’ Carmena of a current problem involving the smuggling of guns to Mexican outlaws.
• Possible Areas of Subtext: Tries to convince the ‘new’ Carmena of having a relationship with him, disapproves of her spending money on ranch essentials—a new stove, another housekeeper, spoiling the employees with rewards. Once he learns of Carmena’s new identity, he tries to convince her not to pursue a relationship with the captain.Character Name: Captain Charles Sanders
• Subtext Identity: Army captain who has strong feelings for the ‘real’ Carmena, but she doesn’t respond to him until Mandy assumes her identity.
• Subtext Trait: Extremely loyal to the army, responsible, does not hide his feelings for Carmena
• Subtext Logline: He welcomes the ‘new’ Carmena’s sudden interest in him. He is investigating stolen army weapons not knowing who is stealing them.
• Possible Areas of Subtext: He is falling hard for the ‘new’ Carmena. He respects Carlos, but won’t stop seeing her, not sure of the ranch manager’s interest in her. Never suspects Carmena and her employees as the gunrunners. -
Carole Avila – Actor attractors
My vision: My writing skills are in demand by the writing industry, because I provide exceptionally crafted, well-loved and inspirational stories enjoyed by all ages that compel professionals to produce my work onscreen and in print.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how important it is to decipher the roles of my characters that contribute to their individuality and actions in the script.
Lead Character Name: Mandy Ruhe
Role: (Protagonist)
1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
Mandy is irresponsible and immature. She wants to be a better person but doesn’t know where to start. She is impulsive and for this reason doesn’t always make good decisions.2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
Mandy travels back in time to Texas, 1845 and assumes the identity of Carmena Luebber. She feels strongly for two men in her life, her feelings very different from how the ‘real’ Carmena felt about them. Mandy, as Carmena, doesn’t want to do the work that Carmena does on the ranch.3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
Carmena discovers an injured man on her ranch and learns he is the famous Mexican dictator, Santa Anna. He is in exile and is the father of Carmena’s housekeeper, Angela. The captain makes a surprise visit and Carmena jumps in bed with the dictator to hide him from the captain. Angela makes excuses, saying Carmena has chicken pox and the captain can’t go near her. She coughs to hide Santa Anna’s humph when she kicks him for grabbing her and has to convince the captain to leave. In another scene, Carmena and her men are stealing guns from army storage after Santa Anna has blackmailed her, stealing her amulet and only giving it back if she gives him guns. The guards catch her men robbing the armory. A gunfight ensues, and Carmena has to ride into the heart of the fight to protect one of her men who is about to get shot by a guard.4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
An irresponsible woman travels back in time and assumes the identity of a struggling ranch owner. She must save the ranch from financial ruin and avoid falling in love with the men who love the original owner.5. What could be this character's emotional range?
From apathetic to learning to care for her ranch employees, to taking on the responsibility of saving the ranch.6. What subtext can the actor play?
Mandy, as Carmena, must pretend she knows what she’s doing in order to run the ranch efficiently. She uses her knowledge of the future to try to create positive changes for her employees. Mandy learns if she stays in the past, she can change the course of history.7. What's the most interesting relationships this character can have?
Mandy, as Carmena, must keep her real identity a secret, but her ranch manager suspects something isn’t right about Carmena. She knows that the real Carmena doesn’t love the captain, but Mandy is crazy about him. Still, she can’t stay in the past with either man. She also has a run in with the notorious Mexican dictator, Santa Anna, when he's found injured on her ranch. A crooked lieutenant causes trouble for Carmena when he assaults her for not turning over her prized stock to him, and later he shows up drunk at the ranch demanding his ex-wife, Violet, the new housekeeper, be returned to him.8. How will this character's unique voice be presented?
Mandy uses terms from the future unheard of in the past. She has ideas that they don’t relate to in the past, like retirement.9. What could make this character special and unique?
Mandy, as Carmena, grows into a responsible adult and is willing to see her own life with a new perspective. She grows a “can do” attitude.Lead Character Name: Carlos Solis
Role: (Protagonist)
1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
Carlos is fiercely loyal to the ranch and protective of Carmena. Although Mandy, as the new Carmena, knows that Carlos is in love with Carmena, Mandy knows Carmena doesn’t feel the same.2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
Carlos suspects something is off about Carmena and is determined to find out what it is. He doesn’t tell Mandy, as Carmena, that he is directing his men in gunrunning activities.3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
In one scene, Carlos wants to keep an eye on the captain and the new Carmena when the captain accepts an invitation to lunch. Carlos runs from one part of the villa to another, looking out windows and through open doors watching their every move. He sees the captain kiss Carmena, and Carlos becomes more volatile and calls the captain out on his behavior. In another scene, after realizing Carmena is in love with the captain, Carlos now protects his new love interest, Violet, who is also the new housekeeper, when her drunk and violent husband shows up at the ranch. A gunfight ensues, and Carlos is shot in the thigh.4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
A protective ranch manager suspects the owner of the ranch is acting suspiciously. Carlos is determined to find out what’s going on. Although he loves Carmena, he has to learn to accept how she feels about him.5. What could be this character's emotional range?
Carlos is level headed, succumbs to his emotional desires, becomes emotionally upset seeing her interact with the captain over lunch.6. What subtext can the actor play?
He doesn’t want to relinquish control of the ranch to Mandy, after learning her new identity. He likes that she physically responds to him when they’re alone. Carlos doesn’t want Mandy to return to her own time.7. What's the most interesting relationships this character can have?
He loves Carmena, and then learns it’s not the kind of love he expected to have with her. He tries to convince Mandy not to return to her own time, though he knows that doing so will change the course of history.8. How will this character's unique voice be presented?
Carlos is normally soft spoken and in control. He has a perfect command of English as the original owner of the ranch, Carmena’s father, Heinrich Luebber, raised Carlos like his own son.9. What could make this character special and unique?
His kindness, loyalty to the ranch and its employees, his passionate devotion to Carmena, and his desire to do right for the ranch, even if it means doing something illegal.Lead Character Name: Captain Charles Sanders
Role: (Protagonist or Antagonist)
1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
Captain Sanders is in love with Carmena though she doesn’t feel she can devote time to him and her ranch. When Mandy inhabits her body, she can’t control her feelings and the captain is all the more in love. He is loyal and responsible, but the ‘new’ Carmena doesn’t know what he plans to do once he learns she and her men are the outlaws who have been stealing weapons from the army.2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
He is gorgeous, but highly devoted only to Carmena and no other women. He gave up a life with his wealthy family to be an officer in the army. Captain Sanders knows he has charisma and tries to make the women who are attracted to him feel comfortable without encouraging any inappropriate action. He’s a true gentleman.3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
The captain catches the ‘new’ Carmena in the act when she steals weapons from the armory. He doesn’t know what to make of it, torn between stopping her and keeping her from being punished by the government. In another scene, he is found in a drunken stupor after getting court martialed for dereliction of duty when some of his men are killed the night Carmena and her men stole the weapons.4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
Captain Sanders has to see where his loyalties lie—with Carmena or the army, after discovering she’s stolen military weapons on his watch.5. What could be this character's emotional range?
Interested in Carmena to wildly passionate to extremely serious.6. What subtext can the actor play?
Captain Sanders is trying to find out who is stealing guns from the army, not knowing he’s falling in love with the culprit.7. What's the most interesting relationships this character can have?
Captain Sanders and the new Carmena have a strong connection. He senses Carlos is a competitor, although Carmena assures him otherwise. The captain is a father-figure to his men in the army.8. How will this character's unique voice be presented?
The captain is generally reserved and in control but has a tendency to let that slip around Carmena.9. What could make this character special and unique?
His great love for Carmena, he knows how to say the right thing to put people at ease. He is charismatic and well liked and well respected by the townspeople.-
This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by Carole Avila.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by
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Carole Avila – Actor attractors for Back to the Future III
My vision: My writing skills are in demand by the writing industry, because I provide exceptionally crafted, well-loved and inspirational stories enjoyed by all ages that compel professionals to produce my work onscreen and in print.
What I learned from doing this assignment is knowing the importance of having strong roles to attract top actors to my work.
Criteria:
Genre: Time-travel Western.
Major actors: Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Mary Steenbergen, Lea Thompson, Elizabeth ShueACTOR ATTRACTORS
Movie Title: Back to the Future III
Lead Character Name: Marty McFly1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
Amiable character who finds himself in comedic sticky situations and has to rely on his innate intelligence to outmaneuver the bad guys.2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
Although he’s small in size, he’s big in heart and is a clever thinker.3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
Marty has to go back in time to save his friend Doc who has fallen in love with a school teacher. The DeLorean breaks down and Marty has to find a way to repair it, and is being chased by a group of outlaws.4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
Marty finds a letter from Doc that tells he went back in time and Marty has to help him fix the DeLorean. Mary finds a tombstone showing that the Doc was killed by Biff’s great-grandfather six days after the letter was written. Marty has to go back in time to prevent Doc from being killed.5. What is this character’s emotional range?
Marty is concerned for his friend, but then is fully invested, both physically and emotionally, in saving Doc.6. What subtext can the actor play?
Marty has to rely on his quick thinking to get out of messes in a hurry, but is often doubtful about his own abilities. Still, he keeps moving forward, taking action to help others and himself.7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?
He is a fiercely devoted friend to Doc. They end up in a lot of tight scrapes together that are mostly comedic and entertaining.8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
Marty generally has a bit of apprehension in his voice, but manages to sound convincing when confronting bad guys.9. What makes this character special and unique?
Marty’s character is loveable and genuine. Although he doesn’t sound intelligent, he displays his ingenuity with every scrape he gets out of.10. During a festival, the bad guy, Buford, shoots at Doc but Marty throughs a pie-tin frisbee at him and deflects the bullet. Buford challenges Marty to a duel, calling Marty “yellow,” which is one of his pet peeves. Marty accepts the duel because he thinks Doc would be gone by that time. Doc tells Marty not to let Buford get to him, but accidentally reveals something to Marty about the future. Marty fights the bad guy, but of course, it works out for the good.
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Carole Avila – Level 1 – Horror Emotion Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is how smoothly a story falls into place with preparation, including writing a good outline and creating strong characters.
OUTLINE:
Adley makes a stink about getting the bedroom at the end of the hallway, and her parents give in because they hate her temper tantrums. Dad almost calls her “Dee Dee,” a nick-name she hates.
A dark mist forms in front of Adley’s bedroom door, but only she can see it. She sees that the lightbulb at the end of the hall is out. Adley grips the handle, and it’s freezing cold.
She enters the room and still has the creeps. She sees the dust ruffle move at the foot of her bed. Her mother enters and startles her. The mother says it’s time for dinner and leaves. The dust ruffle moves again. Adley rushes out after her.[I can't properly format a screenplay with this program]
FIRST DRAFT (including Apprehension/Anxiety, Surprise, and Shock):INT – UPSTAIRS HALLWAY – DAY
ADLEY and her parents, CAROLINE and ROGER, set down suitcases just inside the primary bedroom.
CAROLINE
Roger, could you put Adley’s bags in the room next to ours?ADLEY
I don’t need to take the room next to yours. I’m not a little kid. I’d rather have the big room at the end of the hall.CAROLINE
Because Dad said it was newly decorated after our last visit?ROGER
(leaning toward CAROLINE)
Because it’s farthest from ours.
(to Adley)
That room is all the way on the other side of the house, Dee––I mean, Adley. If there was a fire or worse––ADLEY
(interrupting)
I’m being forced to live in the middle of the desert during my school vacation in a house someone died in, so I should be able to pick the room I want.Roger and Caroline are about to argue.
ADLEY
If someone breaks in or if my room catches fire, I’ll scream my lungs out.ROGER
We’re well aware of your lung capacity, but Grandma Aggie didn’t get around to buying a new bed for that room.CAROLINE
And even though she had the room refurnished, I don’t think she wanted anyone to use it.ROGER
The two rooms facing the backyard aren’t furnished, either. Your grandmother had the furniture moved to the attic, thinking she’d have time to remodel those rooms, too, but that’s about when she fell.ADLEY
(has a temper tantrum)
I’m not a little girl—I’m a teenager! And Grandma’s not here anymore, so it’s not like she’d care what room I have.CAROLINE
All right! Go ahead and take it!CAROLINE stomps back into their room and ROGER shakes his head and follows her. ADLEY lifts her nose and skips down the hallway. The hallway appears darker on that side and ADLEY glances at the fixture above her room. The bulb is out.
ADLEY stares at the door handle, looks at the other doorknobs on the rooms off the hall. Those are all different with elaborate crystal knobs. The one on her door is a dark silver L-shaped handle. She takes hold of it.
ADLEY
“Ouch!”ADLEY jerks her hand back. Her skin turned red and looks practically frost-bitten. She tucks her hand into the cuff of her long-sleeved T-shirt and pulls down on the handle. The fixture clicks, and the door slowly opens.
A small burst of arctic air makes her shiver. She hesitates and looks back down the hall. Her parents stand at their bedroom door. CAROLINE’S arms are crossed, and she says something to ROGER while pointing to the bedroom closest to their room.
ROGER
Everything okay down there?ADLEY
(notices CAROLINE glance at the other bedroom door again)
I’m fine.ADLEY takes a deep breath and steps over the threshold.
INT – ADLEY’S BEDROOM – DAY
Everything in the room is dainty and feminine, but old fashioned. Three tall windows, draped in a pink and white pattern with white sheer panels, face the large circular drive out front. The same material covers an easy chair and ottoman. A white antique dresser matches a vanity table with a mirror. The vanity chair is upholstered with a feminine print. The headboard, however, is ugly.
The queen-sized headboard is composed of various lengths of rounded ivory strips. Some are short and horizontal. Others were lined vertically and curved slightly. The headboard detracts from the rest of the room.
A light pink satin dust ruffle skirts the entire perimeter of the box spring, just above the floor. Adley stares intently at the shadow beneath.
CAROLINE
Change your mind?ADLEY
(jumps; shouts at CAROLINE)
Mom! Why did you sneak up on me?CAROLINE
I didn’t sneak up on you. Honestly, Adley! Guess I spooked you good.ADLEY
You did not!CAROLINE
Are you sure you don’t want the room next to ours?ADLEY
(lifts chin)
No, thank you. I’m not a baby.
(stomps foot on floor; gets angry)
I love this room, and it’s perfect for me. I’m going to stay in it.CAROLINE
Hmm. I’ll have Dad bring the rest of your things, and if you need me, I’ll be downstairs in the kitchen.ADLEY is standing between foot of bed and door, watches CAROLINE grab handle without reaction. CAROLINE closes the door. ADLEY hears her whistle a happy tune fades as CAROLINE walks away. A noise drifts up behind ADLEY, and she pivots, staring at the dust ruffle. It flutters from one end to the other.
ADLEY shuffles backward toward the door without removing her eyes from the bottom of the bed until she feels the handle poke her back. With eyes on the dust ruffle, ADLEY slips her hand inside the sleeve of her shirt and extends an arm behind her.
The ruffle moves again, only in the opposite direction. Panicked, ADLEY’S shirt sleeve slips off the smooth surface. After another try, she grabs the fixture and pulls down hard. The door opens, and ADLEY backs out of the room, keeping the bed in sight. Once in the hallway, she uses a single covered finger to pull on the handle and shut the door.
INT – UPSTAIRS HALLWAY – DAY
ADLEY waits a seconds in front of her bedroom door. She takes a big breath and sprints down the hallway toward the stairs.
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Carole Avila – Character Journey Track
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of strong characters and the number of elements that go into creating a particular character.
ADLEY:
A. What is their Character Profile?
1. Role: Innocent
2. Traits: Argumentative, angry (because her parents are making her stay at Grandma’s for her summer vacation
3. Fears: Being killed on he birthday, being unloved, being alone
4. Wants/Needs: Close family connection, wants to do her part to end the curse
5. Likability / Rooting factors: Digs deep for inner strength, is willing to hear the truth about herself
6. How they react under stress: At first she’s scared, but then she finds her inner strength.
7. Relationship with other characters: Tense with her parents, immediate connection with Victor, admires Victor’s familyB. What is their Character Journey for this story?
1. Character Intro: Arrives at her Grandmother’s mansion and is overcome with creepy feelings
2. Denial: Doesn’t believe in the curse or a demon hiding in her room
3. Their reaction at first horror: Scared to pieces, confused about what she heard and saw
4. Relation to group after first horror: Has to work with Victor and his great-uncle behind her parent’s back.
5. How they fight back: Learns she can buy time by breaking the bones with a heavy object. Says the counter-curse while staring in the eyes of the demon.
6. End Point: Does her part. Is nearly killed by demon until her father and great-uncle Pablo drag her out from under the bed.
7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Greater appreciation for family. You have to overcome your fear to confront the demon.VICTOR:
A. What is their Character Profile?
1. Role: Rescuer
2. Traits: Genuine, caring, concerned, honest, kind
3. Fears: Fear of death, fear of losing Adley
4. Wants/Needs: Acceptance, wants a serious relationship with Adley with her parents’ blessing
5. Likability / Rooting factors: Extremely loyal to loved ones, reassuring
6. How they react under stress: Holds it together, almost goes over the edge with the monster, but then comes back to save the day
7. Relationship with other characters: Loved by all except Adley’s parents who don’t like his family’s spiritual valuesB. What is their Character Journey for this story?
1. Character Intro: Sitting alone in the library at a table; approaches Adley first
2. Denial: Can’t believe how strong the monster has grown
3. Their reaction at first horror: Shock, fear
4. Relation to group after first horror: Wants to prove himself as brave
5. How they fight back: Crawls under Adley’s bed to the monster’s portal in hopes of throwing hematite handle at it (to contain the monster’s essence.)
6. End Point: He and Adley make plans to continue seeing each other as her parents decide to remain at Grandma Aggie’s mansion.
7. What insight does their survival bring to the others/audience? It takes a lot of courage to face your demons.CAROLINE (Mother):
A. What is their Character Profile?
1. Role: Moral One
2. Traits: Belief in strong family values, usually optimistic
3. Fears: Growing apart from Adley, afraid for Adley to be friends with Victor because she thinks he’s a bad influence.
4. Wants/Needs: Wants a better relationship with her daughter, wants a happy family
5. Likability / Rooting factors: Tries to be the perfect mom to Adley, wants to try hard in their relationship. Tries to remain upbeat.
6. How they react under stress: Goes hysterical, hard to reason with her
7. Relationship with other characters: Tries to find solutions but generally isn’t helpful. Isn’t initially well liked.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
1. Character Intro: Gets out of car with Adley, but won’t admit she’s just as creeped out
2. Denial: Doesn’t believe in curse. Thinks Adley has mice in her room.
3. Their reaction at first horror: Scared to death, goes into hysterics
4. Relation to group after first horror: More humble, nervous but quiet
5. How they fight back: She gives her permission for Adley to join Victor in confronting the demon
6. End Point: She’s happy, accepts that Adley and Victor are a couple
7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Hysterics just makes things worse.ROGER (Father):
A. What is their Character Profile?
1. Role: Moral One
2. Traits: Will do anything to make their family stronger, is amiable
3. Fears: Doesn’t want his daughter to be unpleasant, doesn’t believe in the curse
4. Wants/Needs: Wants a close family, wants to live at the mansion
5. Likability / Rooting factors: Very loving, wants a strong relationship with Adley
6. How they react under stress: He doesn’t lose it completely, but faces his fear and helps the kids
7. Relationship with other characters: He follows Great-uncle Pablo’s lead. He is overall respected by his own family and Victor’s familyB. What is their Character Journey for this story?
1. Character Intro: Gets out of car with family after first arriving at the mansion.
2. Denial: Doesn’t believe in the curse, believes Adley has mice in her room. Is afraid Victor would be a bad influence on Adley.
3. Their reaction at first horror: Stunned, scared but still able to react
4. Relation to group after first horror: Is still willing to help fight the demon with the others
5. How they fight back: Rushes to Adley’s room where Victor went under the bed. Roger and Great-uncle Pablo pull both Adley and then Victor from under the bed.
6. End Point: He is glad it’s all over. Welcomes Victor’s family into their home.
7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? To trust that others may know more than himGREAT-UNCLE PABLO:
A. What is their Character Profile?
1. Role: Leader
2. Traits: Calm, knowledgeable, kind, patient
3. Fears: Evil
4. Wants/Needs: Wants to protect Adley and his family, especially Victor
5. Likability / Rooting factors: Keeps everyone in balance and harmony, is willing to do what it takes to help Adley
6. How they react under stress: Remains cool, but flustered when others not doing their part
7. Relationship with other characters: Well respected by allB. What is their Character Journey for this story?
1. Character Intro: At Victor’s house, when Adley first meets him
2. Denial: Justifies Adley’s parents in not wanting her to hang around Victor and his family
3. Their reaction at first horror: Fearful, but continues to direct the group
4. Relation to group after first horror: A bit more flustered
5. How they fight back: Tells Adley and Victor what to do, pulls Adley and Victor from the room
6. End Point: Prepares a sacred ritual to take away the demon’s power once and for all
7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? That calm headedness and knowledge rule. -
Carole Avila – Monster Reveal Track
What I learned doing this assignment is the continued necessity of structure and revealing the monster just a bit at a time to build tension.
ASSIGNMENT 2
A. Who is your monster and what is their terror?
• Powers – In order of appearance: Can project a mist, manifests in a deformed skeletal hand that crawls like a spider, can project a voice, whips out a rope tongue and can strangle a person, manifests into physical form as a skeletal creature, has acidic saliva, and sharp claws/fangs. When it breaks, it can reform itself like a magnet. It’s awareness becomes more apparent as it grows stronger.
• Limitations – It’s confined to Adley’s room, and later, to the hematite handle that was on her bedroom door.
• Weaknesses – Special rituals using salt, crystals—primarily hematite—and incense will keep it confined to an area and protect a home from it.
• Plan/Purpose/Appetite – It kills the first born every generation after a curse was made. Once it gets too powerful, it can kill victims who aren’t even part of the curse.ACT 1
• MONSTER REVEAL: An old lady sticks her head out her bedroom door, obviously scared to pieces. She steps out in her night gown and robe clutching the neck. She’s near tears and steps barefooted to the top of the stairs, looking down at the foyer. A sharp, skeletal finger pushes her down the stairs.
• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: Adley and her parents arrive at her deceased grandmother’s home in the New Mexico desert. The nearest neighbor is a mile away. They are greeted by a burst of cold air when they open the front door.
• Connect with the characters: Adley and her mother explore the house and Adley hears strange noises above the kitchen. Her father enters with their bags, optimistic about their stay.
• MONSTER REVEAL & safety taken away: Adley picks a room upstairs, not knowing the freezing cold handle (that only she can feel) keeps something contained in her room. She realizes the room is directly above the kitchen, where she heard the strange noises.
• MONSTER REVEAL & Denial of Horror: A dark mist hovers in front of Adley’s bedroom door, but only she can see it. Once Adley thinks she sees a strange skeletal hand crawling under her bed, and her parents convince her it’s only mice.
• The characters are warned not to do it: Adley meets Victor in the town library. He warns her of an ancient demonic curse that haunts the home, a thing that kills the first born child in every generation on their 16th birthday, and she’s about to turn 16. She admits she hears and sees things, but doesn’t want to believe it’s more than mice.
• One of us killed: Victor tells Adley that her grandmother was attacked by the creature, and although it didn’t kill her, her health declined from her injuries.ACT 2
• MONSTER REVEAL: Adley can hear it whisper her name.
• MONSTER REVEAL: Adley refuses to sleep in the room, but has to go in to get clothes. One time while her mother is waiting for Adley to get clothes, Adley falls asleep and her mother turns off the light and closes the door. The powerful clawed hand crawls on the covers and tries to drag Adley under the bed into a dark portal. Her parents hear her screaming and enter the room. They’re convinced she’s having nightmares. They think her cuts are carpet burn and the blisters from the icy handle are from her fever.
• MONSTER REVEAL: Adley has to get clothes from her room and the skeletal hand tries to attack her. While standing on the bed, Adley discovers a broken slat on her nightstand. Her mother enters the room and looks under the bed and screams. She tells her husband a mouse ran under the bed.
• MONSTER REVEAL: The next day, Adley’s parents refuse to let her sleep downstairs in the maid’s quarters. Her mother keeps putting Adley’s laundry in her room, so Adley has to go in to get clean clothes. (She’s meeting Victor on the trail out back the next morning.) She hears noises under the bed and leaves the door open. She runs and grabs her clothes, but when she turns to leave, the door is closed behind her. She jumps on the bed, calling for her parents, but they don’t hear her. Adley is on the bed and throws a sock ball a decoy so she can run to the door. Adley jumps off the bed and runs into the hallway, she turns around and the skeletal rope with the hand attached is flying at her face. She slams the door on it, and hears it break to pieces.
• MONSTER REVEAL: Another night, she must go into her room when her mother finds Adley’s clothes stashed downstairs, and her mother puts all her clothes away in the bedroom. Her mother has agreed to let Adley keep her clothes downstairs. She waits with Adley, but needs to use the restroom. In moments, the monster backs Adley up onto the bed. Adley lifts the broken slat and finds the gypsy manuscript with the counter-curse tucked inside. She fights the skeletal hand for the book and manages to get outside her room before it drags her under.
• During another visit with Victor, she learns his father was killed when the creature grabbed his horse’s hoof and caused it to rear, throwing Victor’s father, who hit his head and died from blood loss.MIDPOINT – The monster is worse than we thought:
Adley learns the truth about the curse, how it started and how it has manifested into something physical with all its power gained from killing its victims over the years. She learns from Victor’s uncle, Great-uncle Pablo, that a counter curse must be said by her, the descendant of the gypsy who said the curse, and Victor must touch it to destroy the monster, as he’s the descendant to the man who was cursed.ACT 3
• MONSTER REVEAL: Adley’s parents surprise her and remove the handle from the bedroom door so she’ll stop complaining how cold it is, but they unknowingly released the demon from the confines of the room. It chases them out and Adley, who just returned from Victor’s house on a trail behind the grandmother’s home, meets them on the trail and takes them to Victor’s house.
• MONSTER REVEAL & fight to the death: Her father still has the handle and Victor’s great-uncle explains how it was used to contain the demon. Adley, her father, Victor, and his great-uncle confront the demon in the grandmother’s house, where Adley will say the counter curse and Victor will touch one of its bones to destroy it.
• MONSTER REVEAL: After it attacks and knocks out the two men, Adley and Victor run, but he goes up the stairs, and she runs down the hall toward the kitchen. She has to fight it off and ends up throwing a meat tenderizer at it that breaks it apart. She runs back to the stairs while it’s piecing itself together.
• MONSTER REVEAL: Adley and Victor are at the base of the stairs. The monster throws its bony tongue at his neck and he’s choking while the monster drags him down the hall toward it. Adley is able to stomp on the skeletal rope and it breaks apart. They run back to the foyer, but the fireplace explodes from the living room where the men are unconscious. If they run outside, they won’t be able to do their part in destroying the monster, so they run upstairs.
• MONSTER REVEAL: Adley manages to say the counter-curse while staring at the monster on the landing while she’s standing at the top of the stairs. It can still harm her and kill Victor. They run down the hall and are trapped. The only place to go is inside her bedroom. It chases them and hits the wall at the end of the corridor and breaks apart. After Victor shuts the door, he realizes he can pick up a piece of bone and destroy it. He opens the door and is standing face to face with a skeletal creature. He slams the door shut.
• Hysteria: Victor has an idea and leaves Adley on her bed and crawls beneath to confront the monster as it pounds on the door, trying to get in. She begs him not to leave and hugs the headboard made of bones from past victims. He crawls under the bed.
• MONSTER REVEAL: The monster breaks into the room and throws out its bony rope, latching onto Adley’s ankle. She tries to kick it off, but she has used most of her strength holding onto the bed. It drags to off, and then begins to drag her under the bed.
• Her dad and Victor’s uncle regain consciousness and hear screaming from the bedroom. They run upstairs and drag Victor out from under the bed. He had the hematite handle that now contains the demon.
• Death returns to take one or more: Great-uncle Pablo is going to perform a ceremony to end the creature once and for all. While the family is inside the grandmother’s house, celebrating the end of the curse, a demon animal removes the box with the hematite handle inside from Pablo’s truck and jogs into the woods with it.
• MONSTER REVEAL & Resolution: Years later, a young family finds the box while digging a pool for their new home. They see it as a good omen and have the handle installed on the front door. -
Carole Avila – Genre Conventions
My vision: My writing skills are in demand by the writing industry, because I provide exceptionally crafted, well-loved and inspirational stories enjoyed by all ages that compel professionals to produce my work onscreen and in print.
What I learned doing this assignment is how the elements of genre conventions are important to the success of a script.
• Title: Eve’s Amulet
• Concept: The story of Mandy, a young and irresponsible woman, who travels back in time to 1845 and assumes the identity of ranch owner, Carmena, and must take on her many responsibilities. She is blackmailed into selling stolen guns to a notorious dictator so he can win the Mexican War against the United States and permanently keep the southern states as Mexican territories. The outlaw dictator is holding the woman’s time travel device for ransom (which she needs to return to her own time.) But if she sells him the guns, he may win the Mexican war and doing so will change the course of American history.
• Genre: Action/RomancePURPOSE: To excite the audience with an adrenaline stirring, fast-paced big event story.
DEMAND FOR ACTION: Carmena is blackmailed into selling stolen guns to a notorious dictator to get back her stolen time travel device, an ancient amulet.
MISSION: Carmena leads her men in stealing weapons from military storehouse.
ESCALATING ACTION: The captain guarding the storehouse is in love with Carmena and catches her after she flees from the scene with some of her men.
HERO: Carmena has to put her life at risk to save her men.
ANTAGONISTS: 1.) A corrupt lieutenant, stealing horses from Carmena’s ranch for the army but is really selling them for his own profit and is financially hurting her ranch and 2.) the Mexican dictator who steals Carmena’s amulet and wants guns for a coup that may change the course of history.Act 1:
• Opening: A crooked army lieutenant wants to take livestock from rancher, Carmena Luebber, supposedly for the army, but he really uses the livestock for his own gain. Carmena fights him but his men disarm her, and the lieutenant injures her.
• Inciting Incident: Mandy finds a time travel amulet and is swept back in time, to Texas, 1845. Mandy, now as Carmena, sees through Carmena’s memories. She saw the attack by the lieutenant and how another man in uniform saves her, who turns out to be the captain. Mandy observes things that need changing on the ranch. Realizing she’s the boss, she learns to must make uncomfortable decisions, relying on the ranch manager, Carlos, to help her. Eventually, she decides to stop letting Carlos sway her decisions. She learns that Carlos is in love with her, but the real Carmena doesn’t feel the same and is interested in the captain who saved her from the lieutenant.
• Turning Point: Mandy learns that her employees sometime act as gunrunners. She is determined to find a way back to her own time, but first she feels compelled to find another way to make the ranch sustainable.
Act 2:
• New plan: Mandy makes decisions in the best interest of the employees and the ranch. She hires a new housekeeper in hopes that she’ll serve as a romantic interest for Carlos. She learns of a local woman reputed to be a witch who might be able to help Mandy return to her own time.
• Plan in action: She treats her employees more generously, hires more employees to lighten the work load and uses her knowledge of the future to make stock investments that will positively financially impact the ranch. By now, she has been in contact with the captain several times and is falling in love. She learns the new housekeeper is the lieutenant’s ex-wife.
• Midpoint Turning Point: Carlos confronts the new Carmena, and Mandy tells him she’s from the future, astounded that he believes her. Mandy visits the old woman and learns she has been chosen for a specific reason to time-travel. The old woman told Carlos that a new woman from the future would take Carmena’s place. After leaving the old woman, she comes across an injured man on her property, who is a notorious Mexican dictator. He’s the father of Mandy’s cook and housekeeper. She nurses him back to health out of obligation but wants nothing more to do with him when he leaves.
Act 3:
• Rethink everything: Mandy’s time travel device is missing. She learns the dictator has stolen it and wants guns in exchange. He wants to start a coup in Mexico.
• New plan: Mandy leads her employees on a mission to steal guns from the U. S. Army; the location of the weapons is under the command of the army captain she’s fallen in love with.
• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The mission goes wrong and one of her men is killed in the ambush. The dictator gets his guns and Carmena gets her time travel device. She is caught by the captain and knocks him out, anxious to get back to her ranch. Although she has her device, she feels obligated to stay and make sure the captain is alright and that the ranch will be taken care of.
Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: The drunk lieutenant goes to the ranch to get back his wife, and shoots Carlos in the leg. The ex-wife shoots and kills her ex-husband. After waiting it out, Carmena and her employees learn that they were not identified in the ambush. They find the captain, who has been court marshalled, drunk and passed out in town. Her men bring him to the ranch, Mandy helps him regain his stability after being court marshalled. They fall in love with each other. She doesn’t want to return home, but the old woman warned her if she doesn’t, Carmena may change the course of history.Resolution: Mandy gets back her time travel device. She lets go of the captain, says good-bye to Carlos and returns to her own time. The amulet is transferred to her cousin, who disappears in a mist.
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Subject line: Carole Avila – Character Death Track
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance a death can serve in a horror script.
*Note: My characters don’t die in the film. They are spoken about within the script so the other characters can see the how the demon got its start and how it lured Adley’s family to it.• Character Death 1: Thomas Riley, owner of huge parcel of land above Grandma Aggie.
Why: To show how the curse had been patiently waiting as Adley’s birthday drew near. It knew her father would go to the property if his mother passed.
How: Riley “accidentally” fell down a well.• Character Death 1: Adley’s grandmother, Grandma Aggie
Why: Her empty house is what gets her son and his family out to the secluded mansion.
How: She is pushed down the stairs and dies later from her injuries.• Character Death 2: Victor’s father, Frank Trumillo
Why: He was going to Aggie’s for something she wanted to show him—the gypsy manuscript with the counter-curse, but he died before he could help. She hid it after that.
How: The skeletal rope hooked around the leg of Frank’s horse and threw him. He hit his head on a rock and bled out. -
ASSIGNMENT 5
Carole Avila – Horror Situation TrackWhat I learned doing this assignment is knowing how important it is to have all the necessary elements in a horror script. I had already inserted my horror situations and reactions before I labeled them and didn’t want to take the time to go back and differentiate all of them.. A lot of them are blended within the outline. Still, I can see the value in labeling them to help me visualize the action in the script.
ACT 1
• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: Adley and her parents arrive at her deceased grandmother’s home, located in the New Mexico desert. Spanish style mansion is a mile from the closest neighbors and 30 minutes from the closest town.
• Atmosphere of Evil established: They are greeted by a burst of cold air when they open the front door.
• Connect with the characters: Adley and her mother are on edge as they explore the house and Adley hears strange noises above the kitchen. Her father enters with their bags, optimistic about their stay.
• Safety taken away: Adley picks a room upstairs, and the door handle, unlike any others in the house, is freezing cold to the touch, but no one else can feel it. She realizes the room is directly above the kitchen, where she heard the strange noises.
• Denial of Horror: Adley thinks she sees a strange skeletal hand crawling under her bed, and her parents convince her it’s only mice.
• The characters are warned not to do it: Adley meets Victor in the town library. He warns her of an ancient demonic curse that haunts the home, a thing that kills the first born child in every generation on their 16th birthday, and she’s about to turn 16. He warns her not to sleep in the room. One of us killed: Victor tells Adley her grandmother was attacked by the creature, and although it didn’t kill her, her health declined from her injuries. He also says the handle was put there by his great-uncle to keep the curse confined to the room. Denial of Horror: She admits she hears and sees things, but doesn’t want to believe it’s more than mice.
• Monster: One night, Adley is attacked by the clawed hand. Her parents are convinced she’s having nightmares.ACT 2
• Hide: Adley refuses to sleep in the room, but has to go in to get clothes. She hides them downstairs, but her mother takes them back up to the room. One night while getting clothes with her mother in the room, Adley is lulled to sleep during a conversation with her mother, who turns off the light and closes the door.
• Terrorized: Adley wakes in the dark and the skeletal hand crawls atop the bed and its sharp nails pierce her skin and tries to drag her under. She kicks at it and it breaks apart. She runs to the door and looks back. The bone fragments roll under the bed, as if attracted like a magnet. It reconstructs itself into the hand. She slams the door as it flies toward her face. Her parents attribute the red marks on her ankle to carpet burn and Adley has a fever, so they attribute her story of a monster to hallucinations.
• Adley fights the creature, and while holding onto the bed, discovers a broken slat on the top side of the headboard. She lifts it up and sees the gypsy manuscript with the counter-curse tucked inside. She fights the skeletal hand for the book, slamming the slat onto the hand, which breaks it apart. Adley jumps off the bed and runs out the door, slamming it shut behind her.
• Adley tells Victor she found the book and Victor lets slip that his father was killed on the way to see her grandmother. She wanted to show his father something important, and they thought it was the gypsy manuscript. When Victor’s father rode on the trail behind both houses, the creature grabbed the horse’s hoof and caused it to rear, throwing Victor’s father. He hit his head on a large rock and died from blood loss. (The monster can’t kill yet, but it can severely injure someone.)MIDPOINT – The monster is worse than we thought:
Adley finally meets with Great-uncle Pablo who tells her all about the curse, how it started and how it has manifested into something physical with all its power gained from killing its victims over the years. She learns she must say the counter curse because she is the descendant of the gypsy who said the curse in the first place. After she says it, the monster can’t kill her, but Victor must touch a bone of the monster in order to completely destroy it, as he’s the descendant of the man who was cursed. If she doesn’t do her part, the monster will kill her. If Victor doesn’t do his part, the demon can kill anyone, except Adley, at will.The manuscript shows many images of how the monster can change shape, use it’s bony tongue to strangle people, it’s claws to cut them, and its acidic saliva to burn them. The counter-curse is hidden under the back flap. Pable tells her it can’t attack anyone in Victor’s home because he protected the home with a sacred ritual of protection using salt and crystals.
ACT 3
• Terrorized: While Adley is having this conversation at Victor’s house, her parents want to surprise her for her birthday by putting a new door knob on the bedroom door so she’ll stop complaining how cold it is. By doing so, her father unknowingly releases the demon from the confines of the room. It chases the parents out of the house. Adley, who just returned from Victor’s house on a trail behind the grandmother’s home, meets them in the yard as her mother runs hysterically screaming with her father.
• Full pursuit by the monster: Adley’s father admits to taking the handle off the door. She explains how it holds the monster in her room. They run on the trail back to Victor’s house, Adley and her father dragging her mother because she’s so scared she doesn’t want to move. They finally reach the trail at Victor’s house, just as the long bony tail whips out with the hand on the end. It grabs Adley’s mother by the ankle and starts to drag her into the bushes. Adley and her father are holding her hands. Adley jumps onto the bones, and they break apart. Escape: As they rush into Victor’s house, Adley looks back and sees the rope of bone with the hand attached and it slithers into the bushes.
• Her father still has the handle and sets it next to the gypsy manuscript. Victor’s Great-uncle Pablo explains how it was used to contain the demon and how Adley and Victor must destroy it. Adley’s mother objects but finally Victor’s mother convinces her it’s the right thing to do. Fight: Adley, her father, Victor, and his great-uncle confront the demon in the grandmother’s house, where Adley will say the counter curse and Victor will touch one of its bones to destroy it.
• After it attacks and knocks out the two men, it backs up Victor and Adley to the bottom of the stairs in the foyer. Try to solve it: Both are too afraid to say the counter-curse or touch its bones. It jumps. Victor tells Adley to run and he goes up the stairs, thinking she follows. The monster chases Adley down the hall toward the kitchen. He hears her scream and runs to save her but trips on a broken tile and falls down the stairs, going unconscious.
• Fight: Adley confronts the monster in the kitchen and manages to climb atop the huge metal potrack and break the monster apart with a heavy meat tenderizers. While its in chunks, she runs out the kitchen and finds Victor waking up at the bottom of the stairs. The monster comes down the hallway and forces them upstairs.
• Escape: Adley and Victor run upstairs, and Adley looks back down at the monster at the mid-way landing. She finally says the counter-curse while looking in its eyes and it can no longer kill her. However, now it’s after Victor. They run down the hallway towards her bedroom and it blocks their only escape. Hide: It lunges at them, and there’s only one place to go—into her room.
• They hear the creature slam against the wall in the hallway and Victor realizes he has a chance to pick up a piece of bone. He jumps off the bed and opens the door, but the monster is complete and throws it whips out its tongue of bone at him. Victor slams the door just in time.
• Fight to the death: Victor has an idea and leaves Adley on her bed and crawls beneath it to confront the monster. Hysteria: She hysterically begs him not to leave, but he does, and she hugs the headboard made of bones from past victims. Death returns to take one more: The hand comes onto the bed and drags Adley underneath.
• The two men regain consciousness and hear screaming from the bedroom. They run upstairs and see Adley on the floor in the hallway. The thrilling escape from death: They hear a noise and stare at the bed. Victor is crawling out from under the bed. He had the hematite handle and threw it at the demon. Now the handle contains the demon.
• Great-uncle Pablo is going to perform a ceremony to end the creature once and for all. While the family is inside the grandmother’s house celebrating the end of the curse, a demon animal removes the box with the hematite handle inside from Pablo’s truck and jogs into the woods with it.
• Resolution: Years later, a young family finds the box while digging a pool for their new home. They see it as a good omen and have the handle installed on their front door. -
ASSIGNMENT 3 – Survivors & Victims
Subject line: Carole Avila – Characters for Horror Script
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of certain components, including strong characters, that make up a great horror script.Concept: A fifteen-year-old girl suspects something sinister haunts her grandmother’s old mansion, and it hides in a dark portal beneath her bed. She learns a demonic being born of a generational curse kills the first-born child in each family on their 16th birthday—and hers is just around the corner.
Group: Social (Family)
The Dying Pattern of this movie is: C. No one dies, but the characters are brought to the very brink of death and/or insanity
3. Give us an Identity and a sentence for each character that makes up your group.
• Leader – Great-uncle Pablo shares the history of the curse and discovers how to get rid of it.
• Rescuer – Victor, the new love interest of the main character; he holds part of the key to destroying the curse.
• Innocent – Adley, who is also a Complainer, doesn’t know her family’s been cursed; she meets Victor who knows the background of the family. She becomes the monster bait.
• Moral One – Adley’s mother; she wants the family vacation to be perfect; always tries to look on the bright side
• Moral One – Adley’s father; wants what’s best for his family; both parents think Adley’s fears and complaints of noises is expressing her need for attention -
Carole Avila – Horror Plot
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of properly outlining the structure of a script.ACT 1
• Adley and her parents arrive at her deceased grandmother’s home, and are greeted by a burst of cold air when they open the front door.
• Connect with the characters: Adley and her mother explore the house and Adley hears strange noises above the kitchen. Her father enters with their bags, optimistic about their stay.
• Denial of Horror: Once Adley thinks she sees a strange skeletal hand crawling under her bed, her parents convince her it’s only mice.
• Safety taken away: Adley picks a room upstairs, not knowing the cold handle keeps something contained in her room. She realizes the room is directly above the kitchen, where she heard the strange noises.
• The characters are warned not to do it: Adley meets Victor in the town library. He warns her of an ancient demonic curse that haunts the home, a thing that kills the first born child in every generation on their 16th birthday, and she’s about to turn 16. She admits she hears and sees things, but doesn’t want to believe it’s more than mice.
• Monster – Adley is attacked by the clawed hand, and it tries to drag her under the bed into a dark portal. Her parents are convinced she’s having nightmares.ACT 2
• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: Adley refuses to sleep in the room, but has to go in to get clothes. One time she falls asleep and her mother turns off the light and closes the door, and the hand tries to drag her under the bed. Another night, she fights the creature after discovering a broken cap on the headboard. She lifts it up and finds the gypsy manuscript with the counter-curse tucked inside. She fights the skeletal hand for the book.
• One of us killed: Adley learns that her grandmother was attacked by the creature, and although it didn’t kill her, her health declined from her injuries. Victor’s father was killed when the creature grabbed his horse’s hoof and caused it to rear, throwing Victor’s father, who hit his head and died from blood loss.MIDPOINT – The monster is worse than we thought:
Adley learns the truth about the curse, how it started and how it has manifested into something physical with all its power gained from killing its victims over the years. She learns from Great-uncle Pablo that a counter curse must be said by her, the descendant of the gypsy who said the curse, and Victor must touch it to destroy the monster, as he’s the descendant to the man who was cursed.ACT 3
• Adley’s parents surprise her and remove the handle from the bedroom door so she’ll stop complaining how cold it is, but they unknowingly released the demon from the confines of the room. It chases them out and Adley, who just returned from Victor’s house on a trail behind the grandmother’s home, meets them on the trail and takes them to Victor’s house.
• Fight to the death: Her father still has the handle and Victor’s great-uncle explains how it was used to contain the demon. Adley, her father, Victor, and his great-uncle confront the demon in the grandmother’s house, where Adley will say the counter curse and Victor will touch one of its bones to destroy it.
• After it attacks and knocks out the two men, Adley and Victor run upstairs, blocked in the hallway with only one place to go—into her room.
• Hysteria: Victor has an idea and leaves Adley on her bed and crawls beneath to confront the monster. She begs him not to leave and hugs the headboard made of bones from past victims.
• The two men regain consciousness and hear screaming from the bedroom. They run upstairs and drag Victor out from under the bed. He had the hematite handle that now contains the demon.
• Death returns to take one or more: Great-uncle Pablo is going to perform a ceremony to end the creature once and for all. While the family is inside the grandmother’s house, celebrating the end of the curse, a demon animal removes the box with the hematite handle inside from Pablo’s truck and jogs into the woods with it.
• Resolution: Years later, a young family finds the box while digging a pool for their new home. They see it as a good omen and have the handle installed on the front door. -
Carole Avila – 4 Act Transformational Structure
My vision for this program is to learn how to create a high-concept screen play and see it through to its success.
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of mapping out a strong structure for my script.Concept: The story of a young woman who travels back in time to 1845 and is blackmailed into selling stolen guns to a notorious dictator so he can win the Mexican War against the United States and permanently keep the southern states as Mexican territories. The outlaw dictator is holding the woman’s time travel device for ransom (which she needs to return to her own time.) But if she sells him the guns, he may win the Mexican war and doing so will change the course of American history.
Main Conflict: While staying with her cousin, Mandy finds a time travel device and disappears into a mist. She goes back in time and assumes another woman’s identity. She has no idea how to get back. Once Mandy goes back in time, she assumes the identity of Carmena.
Old Ways:
• Mandy is irresponsible and immature
• She has no direction in life
• Mandy puts herself and her desires first
• She’s waiting for something to happen in her life without putting out effort
New Ways
• Mandy grow ups (internally) and makes decision that aren’t always what her heart desires.
• She wants a better life, to be proactive
• Mandy embraces life and the unknownAct 1:
• Opening: A crooked army lieutenant wants to take livestock from rancher, Carmena Luebber, supposedly for the army, but he really uses the livestock for his own gain. Carmena fights him but his men disarm her and the lieutenant injures her.
• Inciting Incident: Mandy finds a time travel amulet and is swept back in time, to Texas, 1845. Mandy, now as Carmena, sees through Carmena’s memories. She saw the attack by the lieutenant and how another man in uniform saves her, who turns out to be the captain. Carmena observes things that need changing on the ranch. Realizing she’s the boss, she has to make uncomfortable decisions, relying on the ranch manager, Carlos, to help her. Eventually, she decides to stop letting Carlos sway her decisions. She learns that Carlos is in love with her, but the real Carmena doesn’t feel the same and is interested in the captain who saved her from the lieutenant.
• Turning Point: Carmena learns that her employees sometime act as gunrunners. She is determined to find a way back to her own time, but first she feels compelled to find another way to make the ranch sustainable.Act 2:
• New plan: Carmena learns to make decisions in the best interest of the employees and the ranch. She hires a new housekeeper in hopes that she’ll serve as a romantic interest for Carlos. She learns of a local woman reputed to be a witch who might be able to help Carmena learn how to use the amulet to return to her own time as Mandy.
• Plan in action: She treats her employees more generously, hires more employees to lighten the work load and uses her knowledge of the future to make stock investments that will positively financially impact the ranch. By now, she has been in contact with the captain several times and is falling in love. She learns the new housekeeper is the lieutenant’s ex-wife.
• Midpoint Turning Point: Carlos confronts the new Carmena, and Mandy tells him she’s from the future, astounded that he believes her. Carmena visits the old woman and learns she has been chosen for a specific reason to time-travel. The old woman told Carlos that a new woman from the future would take Carmena’s place. After leaving the old woman, Carmena comes across an injured man on her property, who is a notorious Mexican dictator. He’s the father of Carmena’s cook, who nurses him back to health out of obligation, but wants nothing more to do with him when he leaves.Act 3:
• Rethink everything: The time travel device is missing. She learns the dictator has stolen it and wants guns in exchange to start a coup in Mexico.
• New plan: Carmena leads her employees on a mission to steal guns from the U. S. Army; the location of the weapons is under the command of the army captain she’s fallen in love with.
• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The mission goes wrong and one of her men is killed in the ambush. The dictator gets his guns, and Carmena gets her time travel device back. She is caught by the captain and knocks him out, anxious to get back to her ranch. Although she has her device, she feels obligated to stay and make sure the captain is alright and that the ranch will be taken care of.Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: The drunk lieutenant goes to the ranch to get back his wife, and shoots Carlos in the leg. The ex-wife shoots and kills her ex-husband. After waiting it out, Carmena and her employees learn that they were not identified in the ambush. They find the captain, who has been court marshalled, drunk and passed out in town. Her men bring him to the ranch, Carmena helps him regain his stability after losing his command They fall in love with each other. She doesn’t want to return home, but the old woman warned her if she doesn’t, Carmena may change the course of history.
• Resolution: Carmena gets back her time travel device. She lets go of the captain, says good-bye to Carlos and returns to her own time as Mandy. The amulet is transferred to her cousin, who disappears in a mist. -
Carole Avila – Subtext Plot
My vision for this program is to learn how to create a high-concept screen play and see it through to its success.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to breakdown my story into subtext plots.My concept and my choice of three Subtext Plots:
1. Someone Hides Who They Are – Mandy is from the future and can’t tell anyone the truth.
2. The Fish Out of Water – Mandy assumes the body of Carmena. Mandy is irresponsible and immature, but Carmena is a hardworking, hyper-responsible ranch owner.
3. A Major Cover Up – Mandy, as Carmena, has no idea her ranch employees are stealing guns from the U. S. Army.This is how my Subtext Plot will play out inside this story:
Carlos, the ranch manager, suspects that Carmena is different, but she won’t admit that she’s really Mandy from the future. He keeps an extra good eye on her and confronts her when anything seems off kilter. Mandy, as Carmena, learns to put the ranch and its employees first. When she learns that her ranch employees are stealing weapons from the U. S. Army, she plans an investment strategy with her lawyer based on her knowledge of the future. Her time travel device is stolen by a renegade Mexican dictator, and the only way to get it back is to give him guns, but doing so might change the course of American history. -
ASSIGNMENT 3
Carole Avila – Transformational Journey
My Vision: My writing skills are in demand by the writing industry, because I provide exceptionally crafted, well-loved stories enjoyed by people of all ages that inspire professionals to produce my work onscreen and in print.
What I learned from doing this assignment is the importance of knowing my character, even if my audience isn’t aware of that information.
Character Arc for your Protagonist:
• Arc Beginning: Front yard of mission-style ranch.
• Arc Ending: Ranch in Northwest Arkansas.
My Character’s Internal/External Journey:
• Internal Journey: Mandy is irresponsible and lazy, waiting for life to happen and goes to making big decisions for herself and becoming proactive
• External Journey: Mandy has a better sense of how she wants to live.
4. Tell us their Old Ways at the beginning of the movie and their New Ways at the end.
Old Ways:
• She is irresponsible
• Doesn’t want to put out effort to find a meaningful life
• She’s self-centered
New Ways:
• She is optimistic
• She is ready to tackle her unknown future
• She is confident in her decision making abilities -
ASSIGNMENT 2 – Crafting Your Monster
What I learned doing this assignment is that there are many necessary components that are vital to the success of a great horror script.
1. What my monster is: The creature is born of a curse. As it grows more powerful, it manifests into physical form.
2. About my monster:
• Their Terror: It throws a rope of bone out its mouth and strangles its victims or wraps around their ankle and drags their body to it so it can kill them. Its saliva is acidic and can severely burn a person. Its hands and feet have sharp, pointed nails like talons that cut through skin.
• Their Mystery: The counter-curse must be spoken by the next victim while staring into the eyes of the monster.
• Their Fear Provoking Appearance: It initially appears as a skeletal spider-hand with razor sharp nails, and as it grows stronger, it takes on the shapes of deformed animalistic skeletons.
• Their Rules: It kills the 1st born of every generation of the gypsy’s descendants.
• Their Mythology: A guard stabbed a gypsy wrongfully accused of graverobbing. The gypsy fought with the guard and started to curse him, but the guard fell and landed on his own knife. The guard died before the curse was completed, and according to gypsy rules, that means the curse goes back onto the person who first said it.-
This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Carole Avila.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Carole Avila.
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ASSIGNMENT 1 – Horror Concept and Conventions
What I learned doing this assignment is that there are essential components to creating a horror script.
• Title: Sinister / Concept: A true-crime author moves his family into a home where another family had been gruesomely murdered. The writer discovers a box of movie films which hint that the murderer could have been a serial killer.
• Terrorize The Characters: The boy experiences night terrors, the daughter sees demons, the father sees the demon and demon children, the father sees horrifying films of murders as they occurred.
• Isolation: The house is set in a wooded area without neighboring houses visible
• Death: The father and his family is hacked to pieces at the end of the film
• Monster/Villain: A demon who controls a group of demonic children
• High Tension: The son lives out scenes from previous murders but doesn’t remember them when he wakes up. A demon appears to the daughter and tells her to draw pictures of the him and the murder victims. The demons appear behind the father, but he doesn’t see them. The father witnesses horrifying films of gruesome murders and notices more details as he re-watches them. He finds the projector and computer running that have turned on by themselves, even after locking his office. He destroys the box of film only to find it in his home.
• Departure from Reality: Demon moves in pictures, appears in the yard, demonic children run around house, demon pops out of the movie screen
• Moral Statement: The father puts his family through unhappiness to write his books and pays a price for his selfishness.
Other things that made this movie a great horror film is they made the most of the ‘jumpscares,’ children were unexpected predators, it had a creepy soundtrack, and a surprise ending.My Concept: A fifteen-year-old girl suspects something sinister haunts her grandmother’s old mansion, and it hides in a dark portal beneath her bed. She learns a demonic being born of a generational curse kills the first-born child in each family on their 16th birthday—and hers is just around the corner.
• Terrorize The Characters: At first, the girl only hears noises under her bed, or when downstairs and she hears them above her where her bedroom is located. She hears tapping and hissing from under her bed, and it whispers her name, then she sees a small skeletal creature. Shadows turn into creatures and a dark mist hovers in front of her bedroom. The monster teases her before it can kill her on her birthday by crawling onto her bed and scratching her feet and waking her from her sleep, or clutching her ankle.
• Isolation: A Spanish mansion in a desert in New Mexico, and the closest neighbors are a mile away.
• Death: After it manifested into physical form, the main character’s grandmother and father of her new friend had been severely injured by the curse, then subsequently died.
• Monster/Villain: A generational curse that has grown so powerful and can now manifest into physical matter.
• High Tension: It changes into a deformed animal skeleton and tries to kill her, dragging her under her bed.
• Departure from Reality: The curse manifests as a skeletal creature and attempts to kill the girl and has the power to kill others when its power grows.
• Moral Statement: The curse was started by a man who sought revenge on the one who fatally injured him, and that hatred caused harm to succeeding generations.-
This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Carole Avila.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Carole Avila.
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1. My pseudonym is Carole Avila.
2. I haven’t written any scripts.
3. I hope to learn how to craft a chilling horror script geared toward middle schoolers.
4. Writing is my passion; I read Go, Dog. Go! when I was 3 years old and knew I’d be a writer. -
1. Carole Avila
2. I agree to the terms of this release form.
3. Please leave the entire text below to confirm what you agree to.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.-
This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Carole Avila.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by
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Thank you for those recommendations, Michael. I’ll take a look.
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Carole Avila – Intentional Lead Characters
After consideration, I changed the characters who make up the dramatic triangle. Originally, they were the “bad guys” in the story. Now, they’re those with larger parts and love interests in the main character. I’m not certain if I did the logline and unique descriptions correctly. Suggestions are welcome.
My vision: My writing skills are in demand by the writing industry, because I provide exceptionally crafted, well-loved and inspirational stories enjoyed by all ages and genders that compel professionals to produce my work onscreen and in print.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how important it is to have clear, concise, and brief descriptions of my characters’ personas as they relate to my story concept.
Logline and what makes my characters unique:
• Character: Mandy Ruhe/Carmena Luebber
• Logline: An irresponsible and immature woman who time travels to the past and must assume the responsibilities of a working ranch and its employees.
• Unique: She is forced to grow up and make crucial decisions that will war with her innate desire to be emotionally satisfied.• Character: Carlos Solis
• Logline: He is the ranch manager who loves Carmena but knows she’s not acting like herself and will do what he can to find out her secret.
• Unique: Highly loyal to the ranch, employees, and especially to the real Carmena.• Character: Captain Charles Sanders
• Logline: The army officer in love with Carmena and must decide the fate of her and the ranch when he discovers she’s stealing guns from the army.
• Unique: Strong sense of obligation and of right and wrong.-
This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Carole Avila.
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Carole Avila, Eve’s Amulet, Concept and Character Structure
My vision: My writing skills are in demand by the writing industry because I provide exceptionally crafted, well-loved and inspirational stories enjoyed by all ages and genders that compel professionals to produce my work onscreen and in print.
What I learned from doing this assignment is the necessity of considering only the most important aspects in a concept. This one is long, but I’m in the process of learning how to cut out the superfluous details. I added the subplots because I’m not sure if I should include them in the concept. I’m wondering if those should be the concept and the part of the dictator is the subplot. (Any comments/feedback?)
Title: Eve’s Amulet
Concept: A young woman, Mandy, travels back in time to 1845 and assumes the identity of Carmena, a ranch owner. A local seer tells Carmena her time travel device, a necklace called Eve’s Amulet, is the only way to return to her own time. An outlaw dictator steals the woman’s device and holds it for ransom, expecting her to give him stolen guns so he can win the Mexican War against the United States. If Carmena delivers the guns to the dictator, he may win the Mexican war and doing so will change the course of American history.
Subplots: Lieutenant Franz is taking Carmena’s best horses for use by the army, but she finds he is keeping them for himself to sell for profit and is affecting the financial standing of the ranch. His commanding officer, the local army captain, has fallen for Carmena, but he’s the one she plans to steal the guns from to get back her amulet. The ranch manager learns of Carmena’s secret—she’s really from the future—and will do whatever he can to keep her in the past by his side.
Character Structure: Dramatic Triangle
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This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Carole Avila.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Carole Avila.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Carole Avila.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by
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Hi everyone!
I had a late start to the class due to technical difficulties. I find most technology difficult. 😉
I’ve only written one script in college. It didn’t go anywhere, but I had a play produced and two novels published.
It’s my intention to learn the craft of screenwriting, and I’m excited to embrace this area in which I’ve never seriously ventured.
I think I’m a natural born writer. I have been creating stories since I was 3 years old after reading my first romance, “Go, Dog. Go!” Two dogs drive off into the sunset at the end of the story, and I made up possible different endings. I wrote my first story when I was six years old. Although I didn’t start writing (and editing) professionally until I was much older, writing has always been my calling and passion in life.
I’m looking forward to getting to know all of you!
~Carole
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As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
I agree to the terms of this release form.
Carole Avila
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Michael,
I don’t know about you, but this exercise really forced me to think in clearer details about my story.Just an FYI, I see Katie's new ways as her not thinking of herself as a failure, learning that she can do only so much to protect others–but even so, doesn't stop caring, and she sees herself as capable.
I am enjoying seeing your story fleshed out. Great job!
~Carole -
Michael,
I’m really enjoying the premise of your story!
~Carole -
Hi Bob,
You sound very busy for being retired! I’ve yet to write a script. Glad you’re in the class.
~Carole -
Hi Susannah,
That’s cool you’re so accomplished in script writing. Your eye injury sounds like a script. I’m sorry that happened and happy you are moving forward with your writing endeavors.
~Carole -
Hi Adam,
Congratulations on your marathon successes!
~Carole -
Hi Joy,
It’s nice to meet you. How wonderful that you have so many completed works. (I’m new to this endeavor.) See you around the assignments!
~Carole -
Michael,
I really like your concept–great idea . I also like that you have a handle on brevity, which I’m still learning.
~Carole