[Cassie Richardson]

Hi Constance,

I love Rom Coms, so I’m totally here for your concept. This sounds like the beginnings of a great movie.

One thing for you to consider is moving up the snippet about the characters being in the third act of their lives. I believe producers and actors are looking for these types of stories! Also, consider this punctuation tweak – hunky candidate:

The phrasing “wacky old daddy” is a little confusing, but I’d request the script to find out more about it.

(Penis pump salesman – hahahaha! Practice hard – hahahaha!)

Great concept! Wishing you the very best.

Cassie

[Cassie Richardson]

Hi Tenill,

Awww. What a cute concept. I would definitely watch your movie. I’m getting ET vibes for some reason. 😊 Your letter is really well written and packed with hooks.

If I had to make a suggestion, it would be to clarify this sentence: Nine-year-old Chase Little tries to save his parents’ marriage by ‘finding love’. I’m guessing Chase overhears the parents say they need to “find love,” so would it read better to say “bringing love back into their home?” That’s all I’ve got…I’m reaching.

Bravo. Wishing you the very best.

Cassie

• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Cassie Richardson.

[Cassie Richardson]

Cassie Richardson’s Query Letter DRAFT ONE

What I learned from doing this assignment is that getting feedback on the query letter is an important step that shouldn’t be skipped. ‘

Dear Producer,

Be careful! Black Santa can ruin your life.

Title: BREAKFAST WITH SANTA

Written by Cassie Richardson

Genre: Christmas Romantic Comedy

An unexpected sprinkle of Black Santa’s Christmas magic leads to surprising consequences that rob marketing genius Brianna Reynolds of a promotion, her dignity and her pride. Instead of living her best life, Brianna must go to her ex’s fledgling hometown and silence the community’s holiday spirit until Christmas.

But keeping the man who dumped her for a supermodel at arm’s length and pacifying the quirky townspeople prove more difficult than expected.

So, what does Brianna do?

She puts her career ambitions on the line to rebrand the fledgling town as America’s premier Christmas destination, complete with fun spins on familiar Christmas traditions.

Then surprise! Black Santa drops Brianna’s boss, the supermodel and the young son Brianna didn’t know her ex had into the mix – proving there’s no such thing as a perfect Christmas or a perfect life.

Cassie is a marketing genius whose storytelling is behind two Superbowl commercials. She’s African American and knows the Black Santa-type well.

If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the treatment.

Peace,

Cassie Richardson

PS: Here’s how you can reach me:

Email: Cassie.maeb@gmail.com

Cell: 312-590-1023

Snail Mail: 5201 S. Cornell Ave., #17A

Chicago, IL 60615

[Cassie Richardson]

Cassie Richardson’s Target Audience

What I learned by doing this exercise is that there are many, many people who might be looking for stories and may be willing to hear pitches…more than I expected.

Title: BREAKFAST WITH SANTA

Logline: When an overthinking perfectionist is passed over for a promotion, she must prove her value to her Marketing firm by rebranding a struggling town as the nation’s most desirable Christmas destination, with the help of the town’s ultra-laid-back mayor.

Genre: Christmas Romantic Comedy

Similar movies:

· A Christmas Fumble

· A Christmas Miracle

· #Xmas

· Soul Santa

· All I don’t want for Christmas

Producers:

A Christmas Fumble

Suzanne Berger…executive producer

Roger M. Bobb…executive producer & director

Shane Boucher…producer

Caitlin Delaney…producer

Megan Ellstrom…executive producer

Carla Gardini…executive producer

Larry Grimaldi…executive producer

Eva Marcille…co-executive producer

Hannah Pillemer…executive producer

Fernando Szew…executive producer

Lauren Tuck…co-producer

Brooklin Watson…line producer

Arnie Zipursky…executive producer

A New Diva’s Christmas Carol

All I didn’t want for Christmas

Brittany Scott Smith…director

Shane Boucher…producer

Samantha Levine…executive producer

Lance Samuels…executive producer

Gabourey Sidibe…executive producer

Josh Van Houdt…executive producer

A Christmas Miracle

Tibor Takács… director

It’s Christmas, Eve

Tibor Takács… director

#Xmas

Charles Cooper…producer

Michael Lembeck…executive producer

Ryan M. Murphy…executive producer

Advice to Love by

Soul Santa

Holiday Rush

The Great Holiday Baking War

Suzanne Berger…executive producer

Shane Boucher…producer

Caitlin Delaney…producer

Megan Ellstrom…executive producer

Carla Gardini…executive producer

Larry Grimaldi…executive producer

Hannah Pillemer…executive producer

Fernando Szew…executive producer

Lauren Tuck…co-producerArnie Zipursky…executive producer

[Cassie Richardson]

Cassie Richardson’s Phone Pitch – I have a Christmas Romantic Comedy called Breakfast With Santa. Can I pitch it to you?

What I learned from this lesson is that putting together a phone pitch is easy after completing the earlier exercises. Also, that silences are good and no isn’t necessary rejection.

Strategy: Lead with a great title

I have a Christmas Romantic Comedy called BREAKFAST WITH SANTA. It’s Emily in Paris meets Baby Boom, featuring an African American cast.

3. Responses to questions a producer may ask:

What’s the budget range? Low budget: $500k to $5 million

Who do you see in the main roles? Brianna Reynolds = Someone like Amanda Seals, Brianna’s Ex = Someone like Brooks Darnell, Black Santa = Someone like Common or Deon Cole.

How many pages is the script? It’s in treatment form now. The full, 9-Act script will run 95 – 100 pages.

Who else has seen this? So far, you are the first.

Why do you think this fits our company? Well, I saw, INSERT MOVIE TITLE and MOVIE TITLE. Breakfast With Santa is in that same wheelhouse.

How does the movie end? In the beginning Brianna, our heroine, loses everything after a chance encounter with Black Santa. After fish out of water fun and rebranding the fledgling town into America’s favorite Christmas destination, Brianna goes back to the city with a bigger promotion, professional respect and more perks than she dreamed…but that life no longer fits. So, with Black Santa’s help, Brianna rushes back to small town nowhere just in time for the crucial Breakfast With Santa parade on Christmas Day and a kiss with her ex under the mistletoe.

[Cassie Richardson]

Subject line: Cassie Richardson’s Pitch Fest Pitch

What I learned is that I need to have actual credits or contest wins before I can become successful pitching a movie.

1. Credibility: TBA

2. Genre and title. I have a Romantic Comedy titled BREAKFAST WITH SANTA

3. Two-sentence hook: It’s a story about a bougie marketing genius whose final push through the glass ceiling gets smacked down after a chance encounter with Black Santa, and how she picks up the pieces by rebranding a fledgling town as America’s favorite Christmas destination.”

4. Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:

– What is the budget range? Low
budget: $500k to $5 million

– What actors do you like for the
lead roles? Brianna Reynolds = Someone like Amanda Seals, Brianna’s Ex = Someone like Brooks Darnell,
Black Santa = Someone like Common or
Deon Cole.

– Give me the acts of the story. BWS in three Acts

ACT 1. After meeting Black Santa, marketing genius Brianna loses the promotion she deserves… gets demoted and humiliated in front of her social media followers. She’s offered the chance to save face by going to small town nowhere to “babysit” her firm’s worst account.

ACT 2: Brianna goes to the small town, where her ex is also the mayor, with two goals: Keeping the town’s business owners silent until the sale of the business district’s land on Christmas Day and proving to her ex that she is better off without him. Fish out of water fun.

ACT 3: Brianna gets a bigger promotion, professional respect and more professional perks than she dreamed…but that life no longer fits. With Black Santa’s help, Briana rushes back to the town just in time for its crucial Christmas Day celebration, where she reunites with her ex under the mistletoe.

– How does it end? (setup / payoff): Brianna goes back to
the city with a bigger promotion, professional respect and more perks than
she dreamed, but that life no longer fits. So, with Black Santa’s help, Brianna rushes back to small
town nowhere just in time for the crucial Breakfast With Santa parade on Christmas Day parade where she reunites with her ex under the mistletoe.

– Credibility questions What have you done? I’ve worked in
corporate public relations / marketing for 15 years and led the rebranding
of an organization – with its members kicking and screaming all the way.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Cassie Richardson.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Cassie Richardson.

[Cassie Richardson]

Cassie Richardson’s Query Letter

What I learned doing this assignment is that working on the synopsis as a separate and complete step will make writing the query letter less daunting.

“Girl, be careful! Black Santa can ruin your life.” – Brianna Reynolds, lead character, BREAKFAST WITH SANTA

Dear Producer,

I have a Christmas Romantic Comedy, titled BREAKFAST WITH SANTA, that might be a good fit for your wheelhouse:

An unexpected sprinkle of Black Santa’s Christmas magic leads to surprising consequences that rob marketing genius Brianna Reynolds of a promotion, her dignity and her pride. Instead of living her best life, Brianna must go to her ex’s fledgling hometown and silence the community’s holiday spirit until Christmas.

But keeping the man who dumped her for a supermodel at arm’s length and pacifying the quirky townspeople prove more difficult than expected.

So, what does Brianna do?

She puts her career ambitions on the line to rebrand the fledgling town as America’s premier Christmas destination, complete with fun urban spins on familiar Christmas traditions.

Then surprise! Black Santa drops Brianna’s boss, the supermodel and the young son Brianna didn’t know her ex had into the mix – proving there’s no such thing as a perfect Christmas or a perfect life.

About Me

Cassie is a marketing genius whose storytelling is behind two Superbowl commercials. She’s African American and knows the Black Santa-type well.

If you like the concept, I’d love to send you the treatment. Is that possible? Please let me know.

Here’s how you can reach me:

Email: Cassie.maeb@gmail.com

Cell: 312-590-1023

Snail Mail: 5201 S. Cornell Ave., #17A

Chicago, IL 60615

Thanks for your consideration,

Cassie

[Cassie Richardson]

Cassie Richardson’s Synopsis Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment is that using the most interesting things is a good way to condense the story narrative into something focused on action and therefore more interesting.

SYNOPSIS FIRST DRAFT

Title: BREAKFAST WITH SANTA

Written by Cassie Richardson

Genre: Christmas Romantic Comedy

Be careful! Black Santa can ruin your life.

An unexpected sprinkle of Black Santa’s Christmas magic leads to surprising consequences that rob marketing genius Brianna Reynolds of a promotion, her dignity and her pride. Instead of living her best life, Brianna must go to her ex’s fledgling hometown and silence the community’s holiday spirit until Christmas.

But keeping the man who dumped her for a supermodel at arm’s length and pacifying the quirky townspeople prove more difficult than expected.

So, what does Brianna do?

She puts her career ambitions on the line to rebrand the fledgling town as America’s premier Christmas destination, complete with fun spins on familiar Christmas traditions.

Then surprise! Black Santa drops Brianna’s boss, the supermodel and the young son Brianna didn’t know her ex had back into the mix – proving there’s no such thing as a perfect Christmas or a perfect life.

HOOKS

Top 10 most interesting things

1. Unique character trait: Brianna lives her life for perfect photos to post on social media so she can prove to her ex that she’s thriving

2. Twist: Lead character, Brianna, believes she has the coveted promotion to
marketing director in the bag, but her flighty assistant gets the job.

3. Twist: When Brianna goes to turn in her resignation, her boss offers Brianna a chance for a bigger promotion than she originally hoped for, if she takes over a fledgling account.

4. Emotional Delima: How can Brianna keep the man who dumped her at arm’s length when everything inside her wants to forgive and forget?

5. Emotional Delima: Does Brianna want to live with her vision of a perfect life, or can she live perfectly happy in an environment filled with the unexpected?

6. Reversal: Brianna and her love interest are about to reunite, until Brianna discovers that he has a child with the woman behind their break-up.

7. Reversal: Brianna abandons her original vision of a perfect life in the city and chooses to make small town suburbia her home base.

8. Turning Point When Brianna becomes charmed by the towns people and their Christmas spirit, Brianna decides to develop a marketing plan to rescue the business district.

9. Turning Point: The towns people feel icy towards Brianna, but when she finally laughs at herself, they accept her as one of their own.

10. Turning Point: When Brianna learns that her perfectionism caused her relationship with her ex to end, she reconsiders her version of their history and opens her heart to him

[Cassie Richardson]

Cassie Richardson’s High Concept / Elevator Pitch

What I learned doing this assignment is that the logline isn’t enough to pitch a script. Pitches are more like written trailers or sound bites for the script.

1. Main Hook: Brianna wants to prove to her ex that her life is perfect.

2. High Concept: You bust your tail off at work. And just when you’re about to crash through the glass ceiling, Black Santa snatches it away…and your ex – the one who dumped you – is watching.

3. Elevator Pitch: I’m finishing a movie treatment about an overthinking perfectionist whose life gets ruined by Black Santa’s magic. But she finds love and grudgingly helps plan an amazingly bougeghetto Christmas for a fledgling suburban town.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Cassie Richardson.

[Cassie Richardson]

Cassie Richardson – 10 most interesting things

I learned that using this exercise to elevate the plot points in my story can be an editing shortcut. After going through the assignment, I went back and made edits to my treatment.

Top 10 most interesting things

1. Unique character trait: Brianna lives her life for perfect photos to post on social media so she can prove to her ex that she’s thriving

2. Twist: Lead character, Brianna, believes she has the coveted promotion to
marketing director in the bag, but her flighty assistant gets the job.

3. Twist: When Brianna goes to turn in her resignation, her boss
offers Brianna a chance for a bigger promotion than she originally hoped
for, if she takes over a fledgling account.

4. Emotional Delima: How can Brianna keep the man who dumped her at arm’s
length when everything inside her wants to forgive and forget?

5. Emotional Delima: Does Brianna want to live with her vision of a perfect
life, or can she live perfectly happy in an environment filled with the
unexpected?

6. Reversal: Brianna and her love interest are about to reunite, until
Brianna discovers that he has a child with the woman behind their
break-up.

7. Reversal: Brianna abandons her original vision of a perfect life
in the city and chooses to make small town suburbia her home base.

8. Turning Point When Brianna becomes charmed by the towns people and
their Christmas spirit, Brianna decides to develop a marketing plan to
rescue the business district.

9. Turning Point: The towns people feel icy towards Brianna, but when she finally laughs at herself, they accept her as one of their own.

10. Turning Point: When Brianna learns that her perfectionism caused her
relationship with her ex to end, she reconsiders her version of their
history and opens her heart to him

[Cassie Richardson]

Subject Line: Cassie Richardson – Producer/Manager

What I learned today is that producers and managers are different audiences that need to be targeted with different types of communication…similar to a PR media pitch.

Dear Producer. After watching several of your recent Christmas Rom Comms (BTW, I absolutely adore INSERT TITLE), I’d love for you to consider collaborating on my latest project titled BREAKFAST WITH SANTA – a 9-act Christmas Rom Com. This story is a fun and quirky ride featuring a diverse cast with African American leads…plenty of outdoor activity in small town Chicago suburbia…and a fresh take on Santa Claus. Budget is on the lower end of the spectrum. Would you like to read the one-pager?

Dear Manager. My storytelling abilities have earned awards. I have a track record for winning over executives with “difficult personalities.” Right now, I’m writing Christmas movie scripts for television / streaming to sharpen my screenwriting skills. Still, I need your help to grow into an in-demand writer for more and larger projects. I’d love for you to consider guiding my path to success in my writing career. Would you be available for a quick chat to explore the possibility? I’d love to share a writing sample to help nudge you in that direction. Please call or email to request.

[Cassie Richardson]

Cassie Richardson, I agree to the terms in the release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Cassie Richardson]

Cassie Richardson’s Marketing Components

Logline: When an overthinking perfectionist is passed over for a promotion, she must prove her value to her Marketing firm by rebranding a struggling town as the nation’s most desirable Christmas destination, with the help of the town’s ultra-laid-back mayor.

Top Marketability Components

A. Unique – Christmas traditions with quirky, urban spins

D. Great roles for bankable Black actors:

– Briana Reynold’s: late 30s / Lead character / fish out of water

– Deshondre Jackson: yoga-loving ex football player with a big heart

– Jeremy: over-the-top fashion designer

– Black Santa – the source of Christmas magic

3.Take lead character, Brianna. She’s loveable like Elle Woods…but different…because she’s Black and her character arc is reversed. The supporting characters are interesting, too. For example, Black Santa, is a really cool breeze…like a younger Barry White or Isaac Hayes…and whenever he shows up, women swoon. It’s incredibly funny.

4. What I learned is that I can elevate a couple of supporting characters to make them live up to the promise that all supporting characters are interesting.

[Cassie Richardson]

Cassie Richardson, Breakfast With Santa, Network Television

“Breakfast With Santa” is a 9-act Christmas Rom Com movie for network television. It’s a story about an overthinking perfectionist who turns a fledgling town into a thriving Christmas destination with the help of her ex, an NFL legend and members of the quirky business community.

This story is light-hearted and whimsical, which is in contrast to most Christmas Rom Coms featuring African American characters. Also, Breakfast With Santa features fashion and home decor, albeit quirky, which is fun.

I plan to FIRST target producers who make Christmas movies and already have relationships with networks because I heard that’s the smartest way for new writers to get projects read / made.

What I learned today is that when it comes to marketing a script, it’s best to limit details and focus on story clarity.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Cassie Richardson.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Cassie Richardson.

[Cassie Richardson]

Hi everyone! So sorry to join late, but I’m here and so happy to be with you all. Looking forward to catching up as quickly as I can. 🙂 Here’s info about me:

My name is Cassie Richardson. To date, I’ve written three feature length scripts and one 30 minute TV pilot. I’m looking forward to learning what I need to do to really start my writing business and move my screenwriting career forward. What’s unique about me? I’m like a mermaid…I like all things shiny and sparkly.

Can’t wait to read about the rest of you.

Cassie

[Cassie Richardson]

Cody,

I went back and checked. Your questions are in my head and not on the page. Thank you so much!!!! 🙂

Cassie

[Cassie Richardson]

Hi Cody,

Thanks for the feedback. Good points. I’ll take another pass and make sure those motivations are clear and strong in the treatment and the pitch letter.

Thank you!!

Cassie

[Cassie Richardson]

Hi Walter,

Interesting concept. I think your letter might benefit from one more editing pass. It looks like you’re pitching two movies, but I believe you are pitching one story. Your letter reads like you have two protagonists, Tyler and Austin. Then it looks like one story is a rags to riches narrative and the other is a tale of murder and redemption. Also, pay attention to syntax…for example South Side is two words…I’m guessing that Shytown is a play on words, but if not, Chi-town is the correct spelling. Otherwise, your idea looks like great screen candy.

‘Wishing you all the best.

Cassie

[Cassie Richardson]

Hi Walter,

Thanks so much for the feedback. I’m thrilled to know my pitch sounds similar to something you’ve seen on Netflix because that’s kind of the point with made for television Christmas movies. 🙂 But I will take another look to see how I might punch it up a bit., ‘

Appreciate you.

Cassie

[Cassie Richardson]

Hi Cody,

Hey! Hey! A women-forward comedy similar to First Wives Club – I am here for it!!!

Your cover letter flows well. I would suggest that you cut the phrase “we’ve never met” and lead with your huge success story that seems to be closer to the project you’re pitching. How about this: (I’m guessing at the date and facts…but you get the picture, right?)

Hi Steve!

It’s writer/director Cody Jarrett, here: My 2020 film, Sugar Boxx, is logging over 32 million views on Showtinme’s most popular streaming channel. I just finished post on “TURA!”, a documentary with John Waters and Margaret Cho. And, Myman Greenspan has been my attorney for years.

My next project, WEST HOLLYWOOD COUGARS…

Another suggestion: Secretaries are now called admins 😊

One more. Consider tweaking by deleting “but” and “female” from this sentence: (FWC’s theme is friendship, right?). Sort of First Wives’ Club on the softball field with the camaraderie and heartfelt transformation of League of Their Own.

Also, watch your style…are you using all caps for movie titles? Or using quotations? Consider making this consistent.

I hope this helps. Can’t wait to see your movie on the screen! Wishing you the very best.

Cassie

[Cassie Richardson]

Hi Joy,

Wow what a dramatic thriller! With mental health being what it is in the US, this is a very timely and provocative concept. You’ve included great hooks. So, your letter flows well and is very intriguing.

If I had to pick something, you might want to consider tweaking “her boss refuses the assignment – but Cleo goes anyway.” Would “Her boss warns her to stay away from the assignment….” make this set-up stronger?

Also, don’t forget the apostrophe in this sentence – “…and her roommate’s insanity catches hold of her as well.” (I also suggest deleting a couple of words to increase the sentence’s action).

Well done! Wishing you the very best of luck.

Cassie

[Cassie Richardson]

Hi Constance,

I love Rom Coms, so I’m totally here for your concept. This sounds like the beginnings of a great movie.

One thing for you to consider is moving up the snippet about the characters being in the third act of their lives. I believe producers and actors are looking for these types of stories! Also, consider this punctuation tweak – hunky candidate:

The phrasing “wacky old daddy” is a little confusing, but I’d request the script to find out more about it.

(Penis pump salesman – hahahaha! Practice hard – hahahaha!)

Great concept! Wishing you the very best.

Cassie

[Cassie Richardson]

Hi Tenill,

Awww. What a cute concept. I would definitely watch your movie. I’m getting ET vibes for some reason. 😊 Your letter is really well written and packed with hooks.

If I had to make a suggestion, it would be to clarify this sentence: Nine-year-old Chase Little tries to save his parents’ marriage by ‘finding love’. I’m guessing Chase overhears the parents say they need to “find love,” so would it read better to say “bringing love back into their home?” That’s all I’ve got…I’m reaching.

Bravo. Wishing you the very best.

Cassie

[Cassie Richardson]

Hi Heather,

Oh my goodness! I want to see this movie and find out what happened between the priest and the woman he loved. Also, I’m dying to watch the Archdiocese intrigue unfold. You hooked me in your first draft, but your second draft is more specific, more visual and more powerful. I’m sure you’ll get lots of responses to your query. I can’t think of anything that could make your work better.

Bon chance! Wishing you the very best

Cassie

• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Cassie Richardson.

[Cassie Richardson]

Hi Michael,

What a fun concept! I love Rom Coms and I can definitely picture this as a movie I’d like to see. I have a couple of small suggestions that could help clarify your hooks:

Sentence: Then a friend tunes her in to a new kind of designer AI robot that does it all, literally. I had to read this sentence a couple of times to get it. Suggestion: instead of “tunes her in” how about “turns her on to…” Could the double entendre could read clearer and funnier?

Also, consider clarifying this hook: Accepting it’s not meant to be, she moves on to her other love, working with horses. What better environment for a white knight to come riding in. (I’m making the assumption that you’ve set up Lauran’s love of horses in the first act.) So, would it read clearer to say: Accepting that love with Mr. Perfect is not meant to be, Laura moves on to her first love, working with horses. What better environment for a white knight to come riding in.

I hope this helps. Wishing you all the best.