[Lyn Embree]

Lyn's High Concept/Elevator Pitch

What I learned doing this assignment is there are multiple ways to come up with an elevator pitch using hooks, and to keep playing with it until it's something really exciting.

1. Dilemma:

You’re a spoiled teenager living on a planet that will soon die thanks to previous generations. Do you party it up and go down in a blaze of glory before the shit hits the fan? Or do you battle your supernatural shape-shifting aunt for the chance to save us all?

Main Conflict:

A teenage girl has been chosen to take the place of a goddess whose job is to protect the people and nature of Colombia. Will she accept and leave her oblivious, spoiled American life behind?

What's at stake?:

The fate of Colombia, its people and its environment, lies in the hands of a nihilistic Colombian-American teenager with a death wish who has no idea she’s a powerful shape-shifting goddess.

Goal/Unique Opposition:

A 17-year-old nihilistic teenager with a death wish must save Colombia from climate extinction before her 18th birthday with supernatural powers she doesn’t know she has yet.

3. Elevator Pitch:

I’m finishing up a story that asks the question, “Would a nihilistic, spoiled American teen with a death wish choose to save Colombia from climate extinction if she knew she had supernatural powers?”

AI Pitch:

A nihilistic teen with a death wish battles her shapeshifting goddess aunt to save Colombia from climate collapse in a mystical jungle sky realm.

Comps:

"Pan's Labyrinth" meets "Avatar"

"The Hunger Games" meets "Doctor Strange"

"Moana" meets "The Shape of Water"

"Harry Potter" meets "Apocalypto"

• This reply was modified 10 months, 2 weeks ago by  Lyn Embree.

[Lyn Embree]

Lyn's Synopsis Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment is when it comes to pitching, the story is secondary. The hooks grab attention and get power players interested. Hooks will get you in the door.

Hooks:

1. There is a parallel universe in the skies above Colombia ruled by La Tunda.

2. La Tunda is a powerful, shape-shifting goddess who has protected the Colombian people and nature for centuries, but now she's fed up.

3. Our heroine Skye's mom sent her to the U.S. for a better life, but in reality, it was to hide her from La Tunda who she knew would be coming for her daughter all along.

4. Skye can access the parallel dimension through her dreams.

5. Jennifer, Skye's therapist, is an Afro-Colombian dancer and witch with tons of knowledge about La Tunda.

6. La Tunda is Skye's aunt.

Synopsis:

Title: DARK EMERALD

Written by: Lyn Embree

Genre: Fantasy / Adventure

In the skies above Colombia, there's a parallel dimension. It's ruled by La Tunda, a shape-shifting goddess and protectress of Colombia's people and nature.

Sounds cool, right? Except La Tunda is pissed off and fed up. All of humanity is destroying itself and the environment. So La Tunda is quitting!

Problem is, according to the rules of the universe, she needs a replacement.

Meanwhile, nihilist Skye is a Colombian-American teen abusing every bit of her adopted parents' wealth and privilege in an attempt to go out with a bang before the inevitable man-made apocalypse.

Skye has no idea that she is La Tunda's niece and was born with the same supernatural shapeshifting powers.

One night, clueless Skye gets a wake-up call in her dreams when she finds herself transported into La Tunda's realm and meets the goddess face to face.

Skye's therapist, Jennifer, who just happens to be a badass Afro-Colombian dancer and witch in her free time, becomes Skye's mentor to help guide her through the impending battle with La Tunda.

If Skye wins, she goes back to life as normal in the U.S. If Skye loses, she can never go home again.

The all-female, supernatural, shape-shifting rumble in the floating jungle is on!

La Tunda's tired spirit proves to be no match for Skye's 'WTF is this crappy world I was born into' angst and she is defeated. Skye can go home.

But she chooses not to! Skye willingly accepts the role of protectress, vowing to do what she can to save Colombia first and maybe the world next.

• This reply was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by  Lyn Embree.

[Lyn Embree]

Lyn’s 10 Most Interesting Things

A. Most unique thing about my hero: She’s a badass Colombian-American teen with supernatural powers. Most unique thing about my villain: She’s a powerful, shape-shifting goddess who is fed up with her job as protectress of the Colombian people and their land.

B. Jennifer, my hero Skye’s therapist, turns out to be an Afro-Colombian dancer and witch who knows tons about the villain goddess.

C. Skye can access other dimensions through her dreams.

D. There is a mirror parallel universe in the skies above Colombia where the goddess reigns supreme.

E. Major Twist – Skye discovers she has the same shape-shifting powers as the villain goddess.

F. Reversal – Jennifer, who has been acting as Skye’s mentor and guide, doesn’t exist. She is the villain goddess in disguise.

G. Character Betrayal – Skye’s mom, who gave her up to an American couple so she would have a better life, knew all along that the villain goddess would come for her daughter.

H. Emotional Dilemma – Skye must decide between abandoning the fight, leaving her family to die and Colombia to be destroyed in order to return home to the U.S. or she must kill the goddess and take her place as the protectress of Colombia, to never return home.

I. The villain goddess is Skye’s aunt.

J. In the final battle between hero and villain, Skye’s mom sacrifices herself to the goddess to save her daughter.

What I learned doing this assignment is to jam pack my script with interesting things to make it appealing to producers. I love that this marketing process gets me out of my own head and serves as a litmus test to make sure my work is interesting and exciting, not just for me but also for an audience and all of the people who have the power to get the movie made.

[Lyn Embree]

Lyn – Producer/Manager

1. I would present myself to a producer in a succinct, direct manner, letting them know that I respect both their time and their opinion. I will demonstrate that I have put energy into understanding what they do specifically and what they’re looking for. I will select only the elements of my story that are most appealing to them and let them know I want what they want – to get this movie made – and am willing to do what I can to accomplish that. The point is to get them interested in the idea and let them know I am someone they can work with.

2. With a manager, I want to show that I am invested in building a successful career that will benefit both of us. I would tell them I am eager to collaborate. For a specific project, I would give them the main beats, very similarly to my producer pitch, then let them know that the well runs deep, giving them a few words on other projects I’ve completed or are in the works. I’d let them know I’ve worked hard at my craft and have formidable skills, but am always open to improving with their guidance. I want to share the vision I have for myself as a super successful writer in a way that allows them to see themselves as part of a soon to be unbeatable team.

3. What I learned today is that it is paramount to know your audience when you are pitching and to understand what they want. It’s not about the details of my story, it’s about what makes my story and my writing in general a moneymaker.

[Lyn Embree]

Lyn’s Marketable Components

1. An American teen is confronted by an evil, shape-shifting goddess from her ancestral home of Colombia and once she discovers she possesses the same powers, must decide to surrender to the goddess or replace her.

2. G. Wide Audience appeal – the combination of a strong female leads, fantasy elements, and high adventure should attract viewers from all ages and demographics.

J. Great role for a bankable actor – with so few films out there that focus on strong Latina leads, this film is an opportunity that will hopefully attract big names hungry for this kind of representation.

3. I can elevate the wide audience appeal by making sure that strong points of view are equally attractive to both men and women, and that the characters’ needs and wants are primal and universal. In the pitch, I would then use this fact to emphasize that the whole family will be entertained.

I would also emphasize how this film fills a major gap in onscreen representation of Latinas, with not just more screen time, but with dynamic, unforgettable characters that viewers will love to love and love to hate.

4. What I learned doing this assignment is how thinking through the marketable components of your script can really improve your story, so do it as early in the process as you can.

[Lyn Embree]

Lyn’s Project and Market
1. Genre: Coming of Age / Fantasy / Adventure
Title: Dark Emerald
Concept: A Colombian-American teen, adopted and raised in the U.S., discovers she has supernatural powers tied to her heritage and must navigate nightly battles in a mystical jungle realm to save her family and Colombia from a malevolent, shape-shifting goddess.
2. Strong female leads, fast-paced action sequences, captivating settings, and a poignant look at immigration, family bonds, and the importance of nature.
3. I will target producers first because my primary goal is to get something sold.
4. What I learned today is how important researching the market and targeting the right producers will be.

[Lyn Embree]

Lyn Embree. I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Lyn Embree]

What I learned in this assignment is how to create the hero and villain in relation to one another, making them the best possible match and giving more opportunities to build conflict and action throughout the script.

Concept: Champion MMA fighter Valentina returns home to El Salvador to seek and destroy the psychotic MS-13 leader who has kidnapped her son.

Hero Morally Right: Save her son from the kidnappers. Villain Morally Wrong: Murderous gang boss involved in drug and human trafficking.

Hero A. Unique Skill Set: Champion MMA fighter, trained in multiple martial arts and weapons since adolescence. Was recruited by the CIA in college and trained as a master negotiator before dropping out of the program. B. Motivation: Will do anything to save her son from being killed or becoming part of MS-13. C. Secret or Wound: Valentina was raped in El Salvador by an MS-13 member and became pregnant with her son. It’s the reason she was taken to the U.S.

Villain A. Unbeatable: Esteban is the leader of a notoriously violent gang and has a legion of deadly members, corrupt police officers and government officials in his pocket. He is a trained boxer that could have gone pro. He has a personality disorder that makes him unpredictable. B. Plan/Goal: To kill Valentina before she can rescue her son. C. What They Lose if Hero Survives: Esteban and countless accomplices will die.

Impossible Mission A. Puts Hero into Action: Valentina tracks her son down and must get past sicarios sent to kill her. B. Demands They Go Beyond Their Best: She is captured and put in prison. C. Destroy the Villain: Valentina comes up with a plan that uses both her fighting skills and psychological warfare to bring Esteban to his knees.

After doing the if…then… questions I added a few traits to the villain that would make him an even more difficult opponent for Valentina, hopefully raising the stakes and setting up a few nail-biting confrontations and an epic final battle royal.

[Lyn Embree]

Lyn’s Conventions

What I learned from doing this assignment is how challenging and important it is for me to let go of the perfectionist detail-hunter in the initial stages. I can be loose and have fun brainstorming, knowing I can change it all as I go.

Concept:

Champion MMA fighter Valentina returns home to El Salvador to seek and destroy the psychotic MS-13 leader who has kidnapped her son.

Conventions:

Highly Skilled Heroine: Valentina Alarcón, MMA champion

Mission: To retrieve her son from MS-13 kidnappers

Demand for Action: An MS-13 leader has put a bounty on her head and sends a legion of sicarios to take her out.

Antagonist: Esteban “El Malamor” Montes, Psychotic MS-13 leader

Escalating Action: The MS-13 leader has a personal vendetta against Valentina. She is arrested, detained, and charged with drug trafficking by corrupt law enforcement.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by  Lyn Embree.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by  Lyn Embree.

[Lyn Embree]

Hi Everyone,

I’m happy to be joining you. My name is Lyn. I have not completed a script yet, though I’ve been working on several ideas, notes, and research for a shamefully long time. I’ve loved action films since I was a kid and I’m looking forward to learning not only the nuts and bolts, but a few special details about what makes an outstanding action script.

I am convinced that when I was 19 and visiting Florence, Italy for the first time that I saw a portrait of myself from a past life in the Uffizi Gallery. I am now on a mission to become as Italian as I can in this life and move there permanently.

[Lyn Embree]

Lyn Embree

I agree to the terms of this release form.

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.