[Chhimed Drolma]

ASSIGNMENT 1

Chhimed’s Height of the Emotion.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to layer meaning into important lines.

1. A.V. witnessing the death of her second mother, F, who tells her, “Use your heart to help others.”

1. A.V. thinks the meaning of that is to help others in the military with her fierceness. Later she thinks it’s to help her crew survive. Towards the end, she figures out that it’s more of a person-to-person emotional kind of empathy and support and that helping others helps her, too.

[Chhimed Drolma]

Chhimed Delivers Irony!

What I learned doing this assignment is that there is a level of depth and complexity that I was not reaching before. This is like all of my favorite stories where the hero doesn’t just follow the steps set out for them 1, 2, 3 – success! Sometimes everything fails. Sometimes they get exactly what they want and it’s shit! Life lessons are learned via difficult, complicated, and unforeseen circumstances.

With your list of the New Ways / Insights you want audiences to experience, go through these steps:

Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
NEW WAY: Sharing yourself with others instead of dealing with everything on your own is good.
INSIGHT TO DELIVER: The more you let people in, the more you are seen, known, loved, and have a sense of belonging.

Step 2. How could you deliver that insight through opposite experiences?
Right thing, wrong reasons: A.V. shares something of a deeply personal nature with crew members in order to complete a job, figures they won’t pay attention anyway, but instead they all crowd around her and give her love. She is shocked and flabbergasted.
OR

Step 1. Where could you build opposite experiences into your screenplay?
During a job that can only be completed by virtue of crew members knowing each other very well (like a Newlywed Game scenario), A.V. prides herself on how much she loves her crew and how much she knows every little detail about them. Then it turns out that someone will die unless A.V.’s crew know things about her, too. Through a tech that shares memories, her memories are downloaded into the crew. She is so ashamed, but they are shocked at everything she’s been through and love her more.

Step 2. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver through them?
Vulnerability creates intimacy.

Come up with at least five (5) different ways you can create IRONY in your screenplay and deliver an insight.

1. WIN/LOSS: Losing bio parents brings adoptive family. Leaving adoptive family allows space to create another just-right-for-her family on her ship.

2. WRONG/RIGHT REASONS: A.V. is forced to share with her crew at last minute, telling herself she will reverse the tech later and take her memories back so people don’t know them, but when the scenario is over, her crew’s response is so positive that she hesitates.

3. GETTING WANT/LOSING NEED: Desperate to have one final conversation with her parents which she can do through magic, even though the magic’s price is that she’ll lose something very important to her. A.V. does it and then finds that she’s lost her new connection to Source which means more to her than she realized and leaves her feeling bereft.

4. DEALS: Searches and searches for her holy grail/magic pill that she’s heard about for years. When she gets ahold of it, it turns out it only works for some people and it doesn’t work for her at all. She’s back at square one.

5. IDENTITY: At some point, A.V. becomes the community-centric person she thinks her s.o. wants, only to realize that without her lone wolf nature, she’s become boring and devoid of life.

[Chhimed Drolma]

Chhimed Delivers Insights Through Conflict

What I learned doing this assignment is that protagonists need to be challenged in their habits and worldview if we want them to grow.

NEW WAYS and INSIGHTS

Step 1. New Way / Insight you want to deliver?

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>New Way: Sharing yourself with others instead of dealing with everything on your own.

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Insight to deliver: The more you let people in, the more you are seen, known, and loved.

Step 2. What kind of conflict could that insight show up in?

A friendship where the “best friend” for decades doesn’t know a major part of the protagonist’s life or something very monumental that happened in their best friend’s life, resulting in disaster or loss of life due to not sharing information.

Step 3. Brainstorm ways to deliver the insight through the conflict.

i. There is a crucial magical object that only works with true friends, but when A.V. and D. go to use it, thinking they’ve got this in the bag, it doesn’t work because of A.V.’s secrets from D. For once, D is mad.

ii. At a party game with a desperately needed cash prize, another friend duo wins because know each other inside out. When they lose that money, D. confronts A.V. about her “privacy.”

iii. A.V.’s first relationship with A. broke up because of A. cheating on her, but there was also some distance created by A.V. not sharing herself or revealing information.

iv: A.V. wants to share something important with a respected, loved, and significant person to her, but that person dies. A.V. realizes that without sharing herself, she is brutally alone in the universe.

v. Because A.V. refuses to disclose to anyone, even her best friend, where she goes to spiritually and emotionally recharge, she ends up falsely accused of robbery. If convicted, it would destroy her professional reputation as well as her personal life as she has no alibi for the day and time of this crime.

Five different ways you can use conflict to express an insight:

1. Keeping your less desirable traits from others 1) doesn’t work, and 2) can actually hurt people.

2. If we don’t fully know each other, what is friendship really based on?

3. Emotional distance creates physical, emotional, and mental distance.

4. To truly feel we belong, we must be known to others. Sometimes we have a limited amount of time to express things, so we’d better do it while we can.

5. Stubbornness in holding onto individual pride will destroy our life.

[Chhimed Drolma]

ASSIGNMENT 1

CHHIMED’S SEABISCUIT ANALYSIS

What I learned doing this assignment is that it adds profound depth and investment in the characters and story when the audience is shown a visual metaphor to drive the writer’s point home.

PROFOUND MOMENT: Opening narration says this time in history is “the beginning and the end of imagination.”
PROFOUND FOR ME: It says that in a time of sad dreariness, it is unusual to find hope and inspiration.

PROFOUND MOMENT: Tom Smith says to Charles Howard “You don’t throw a whole life away just ‘cause you’re banged up a little.”
PROFOUND FOR ME: Tom, Charles, and Red have all been banged up to the point of wanting to quit. I think Charles sees a new beginning in horses and in working with Tom. In Charles’ eyes, Tom has nothing – he’s living in the bushes with an unprofitable horse. If Tom can remain positive, maybe Charles has something to learn from him.

PROFOUND MOMENT: Discussing the times and rebuilding public infrastructure, the Narrator says, “Men who were broken only a year before suddenly felt restored.”
PROFOUND FOR ME: Charles, Tom, Red, and Seabiscuit all are being changed by each other, restored.

PROFOUND MOMENT: Tom furiously tells Charles that Red lied to them; he’s blind in his right eye. Charles replies to Tom (as Tom told Charles about Seabiscuit), “You don’t throw a whole life away just because he’s banged up a little.”
PROFOUND FOR ME: It’s a nice callback, showing that Charles has learned that lesson from Tom and Seabiscuit.

PROFOUND MOMENT: After Red’s leg gets shattered and he can’t race, he explains to Wolf how to win with Seabiscuit. Red tells Wolf, pointing to his heart, “It’s not in his feet, it’s here.”
PROFOUND FOR ME: It’s the same for Red who can do anything because he has heart.

PROFOUND MOMENT: When Red and Seabiscuit are healing from injuries together, Red assures Seabiscuit, “Rome wasn’t built in a day, citizens. Brick by brick.”
PROFOUND FOR ME: Red, of the hottest temper, is keeping it cool to support Seabiscuit to heal, as Seabiscuit supported him to win. They support each other, one brick at a time.

PROFOUND MOMENT: Charles is freaking out over the possibility that Red riding Seabiscuit may lead to Red’s death. Charles still keeps his dead son’s toy in his pocket. Marcela says that she plays with the toy, too, and no matter how hard she tries, she can’t get the ball to stay in the hole.
PROFOUND FOR ME: Marcela is asking Charles to let go of trying to control Red, trying to keep Red from death, like he wishes he could have stopped his son’s death.

PROFOUND MOMENT: Red, narrating during the last race, “Everybody thinks we found this broken down horse and fixed him, but we didn’t. He fixed us. Every one of us.”
PROFOUND FOR ME: Seabiscuit’s heart and underdog power fixed Tom, then Charles, then Red, then Red all over again, then the entire world who watched.

ASSIGNMENT 2

CHHIMED’S TURNS INSIGHTS INTO ACTION

What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s much more valuable to me and any audience member to see our protagonists put their learning and growth into action, which leads to a protagonist’s satisfying evolution.

NEW WAYS & INSIGHTS

NEW WAY: A.V. shares herself and her past with loved ones.
INSIGHT: Sharing with loved ones can bring you closer.

NEW WAY: A.V. faces her trauma instead of ignoring it or running from it

INSIGHT: Facing your trauma can liberate you.

NEW WAY: A.V. delegates, relies on friends and loved ones.

INSIGHT: Relying on friends and loved ones can make things work better.

NEW WAY: A.V. opens her heart to someone for the first time since it was so badly broken.

INSIGHT: Opening your heart may let hurt in, but it will also let love in.

NEW WAY: A.V. opens herself to community for the first time since childhood.

INSIGHT: Being part of a community may be scary, irritating, and even infuriating, but can also be warm, wonderful, and like home for your heart.

NEW WAYS & INSIGHTS INTO ACTION

NEW WAYS: A.V. shares herself and her past with loved ones.

INSIGHTS INTO ACTION: A.V. shares her past with D. and W.. As a result, D. and W. are able to help A.V. let her panic go in a tight spot, and the day is saved.

NEW WAYS: A.V. faces her trauma instead of ignoring it or running from it

INSIGHTS INTO ACTION: A.V. works with T. to look into her nightmares, face them, dialogue with what she finds, and find relief and empowerment there.

NEW WAYS: A.V. delegates, relies on friends and loved ones.

INSIGHTS INTO ACTION: For A.V’.s child rescue plan to work, she needs to have shared information with at least two people. Suspense is created as her crew is questioned about things only A.V. would know. The audience believes A.V. would never share info with her crew and believes the kids to be doomed. Then D. and W. relay the information and the rescue plan works.

NEW WAYS: A.V. opens her heart to someone for the first time since it was so badly broken.

INSIGHTS INTO ACTION: A.V. actively courts a potential love.

NEW WAYS: A.V. opens herself to community for the first time since childhood.

INSIGHTS INTO ACTION: A.V. starts having Entertainment Nights on the ship. She arrives before the event and stays late to greet everyone personally.

[Chhimed Drolma]

CHHIMED’S LIVING METAPHORS

What I learned doing this assignment is that there are myriad ways to challenge my protagonist throughout the story that will lead her to a more satisfying ending when things finally do work out for her.

SHOULD WORK, BUT DOESN’T

1. Utilizes services of childhood magical practitioners

Old Way: Do what people say will work

Challenge: Is fresh off the trauma, and also can’t quite trust

How it will work in my story: AV, with little hope, will try all the ceremonies, potions, and techniques to no avail

2. Gives up

Old Way: Do what people think will work

Challenge: Trusts, but doesn’t believe

How it will work in my story: AV once again does what others suggest, but no longer believes anything will help

3. Drinks and has one-night stands

Old Way: She tries to just “have fun” and see if that works

Challenge: She wants to forget

How it will work in my story: AV gives up hope of consciously recovering her nightmares and decides to just “enjoy herself” at every possible turn

4. Tries talking with her crew sensitivity person

Old Way: Doing what she “should” do

Challenge: Still doesn’t quite trust, just checking off boxes

How it will work in my story: AV hires this person for others because she’s given up on herself

5. Tries to find the young girl who looks like her

Old Way: Does what she thinks she should in this case

Challenge: Still doesn’t want to see or believe what may have happened to her

How it will work in my story: AV pursues rescuing this girl at the expense of her professional standing, still with no memory retrieval

LIVING METAPHORS

1. POND gazing with the magical practitioners

Old Way: Doing what others say (because she’s young and has no idea what else to do).

Challenge: Due to her amnesia, she doesn’t remember how anything is done, and it’s also a foreign practice.

How it will work in my story: AV gazes into a murky pond and sees nothing, in fact it seems to get murkier.

2. Martial arts training and WEAPONS, temporarily giving up her search

Old Way: Taking other people’s advice because she doesn’t know what else to do

Challenge: challenge AND gift – the weapons put her in a meditative zone and give her daytime relief from fixating on her nightmares

How it will work in my story: AV moves wholeheartedly into learning weapons and forms, forgets her nightmares in the day and finds some respite though the nightmares continue

3. A burlesque show called HEART – a neon sign with a flickering t.

Old Way: Drowning her sorrows in beautiful women who want her to hear and help them

Challenge: Women want things from her and she can’t even handle herself

How it will work in my story: A montage of dalliances where she is truthful yet leaves women wanting more from her which feels repulsive to her.

4. SPIRAL office design of crew sensitivity person

Old Way: Checking off the box of doing what she’s offering to her crew members so she can seem sensitive although she feels emotionally bereft.

Challenge: Her own fear – AV feels an intense need to flee this setting and practice.

How it will work in my story: AV has a huge aversion to the office design and can barely sit still thought her sensitivity person tells her it’s only a symbol for going inward. She can’t get away fast enough.

5. MIRROR

Old Way: AV pursues the little girl she wants to rescue, an external manifestation of her childhood

Challenge: AV hoping this little girl will be the answer to her problems, but loses her.

How it will work in my story: In pursuit of the girl, AV loses her, and comes face to face with a mirror which she punches

[Chhimed Drolma]

CHHIMED DROLMA’S COUNTEREXAMPLES

What I learned doing this assignment is that a lifetime goes in to each person’s decisions and we are all pretty entrenched in our beliefs. It takes a very skilled Change Agent with just the right non-threatening question or challenge to open us up to even consider new perspectives, but when we do, it can be healing for everyone.

5 Questions To An Old Way

1. (W.) Why are you hiring me when you could talk to your crew yourself based on your own difficulties and experiences?

Challenge: A.V. opening up to anyone at all.

Old Way: Vulnerability is weakness.

How it will play out: A.V. will have to learn that vulnerability is strength of self and strength of community.

2. (D.) Why won’t you let me in? We’ve known each other for 10 years and I am the best and safest person you could tell?

Challenge: A.V. opening up to even her best friend of ten years.

Old Way: A.V. thinks she needs to be professional and tough with everyone, even her best friend of ten years.

How it will play out: A.V. will open up to D., causing him to love and respect her even more.

3. (G. h.) I know we’ve just met, but I’d love to see you again and continue to get to know you.

Challenge: A.V. thinks, based on one very painful past experience, that “love” is pain and has removed her heart from the equation entirely.

Old Way: After her first love, A.V. doesn’t open up to lovers at all, ever.

How it will play out: A.V. will be challenged to open up again and let herself be loved, respected, cherished, supported, to love back, and to let all the love she has inside her out so she can lavish it on a significant other, her friends, family, and even her crew.

4. (C.S.) What if experiencing your nightmares could help you heal?

Challenge: A.V. is completely over the nightmares and has somewhat convinced herself she doesn’t need to know.

Old Way: After trying to remember them for so long, A.V. is burnt out and just wants the nightmares to disappear, which kind of happens when she drinks or distracts herself with women.

How it will play out: After integrating the experience from the nightmares, A.V. becomes more of a whole person, and more open and available to others and herself.

5.(T. and/or C.) You have everything, but not a significant other, why?

Challenge: A.V.’s belief that love is pain, weakens her, and that she can function better on her own.

Old Way: Avoiding love saves A.V. from pain, weakness, and allows her to function better on a daily basis.

How it will play out: Opening to healthy love will allow A.V. to experience deeper joy, and she will become more effective and powerful because of it.

5 Counterexamples To An Old Way

1. (W.) if relating with your crew directly could help you cut down on the number of fires you have to put out?

Challenge: A.V. never felt comfortable resolving crew issues and disputes so A.V, hired an empath, creating a barrier between A.V. and them.

Old Way: Remaining professional, removed, tough, and cool keeps A.V. in charge.

How it will play out: W. will still help, but A.V. will be challenged to cultivate closer relationships with her crew.

2. (D.) I just want to put it out there that I love you, you’re my best friend, and any new bit of information I get about you makes me love and respect you more.

Challenge: Revealing her trauma and wounds will cause people to love A.V. less and she has to hold on for dear life to the minimal love she has in her life.

Old Way: A.V. keeps her best friend at arm’s length because she doesn’t want him to lose respect for her as a person and for her leadership.

How it will play out: A.V. will be forced to reveal herself to her best friend and their friendship will deepen immensely.

3. (C.S.) Getting to know someone doesn’t mean you will be together forever! And it certainly doesn’t indicate a particular commitment – that has to be decided by TWO parties.

Challenge: People can make up their own rules in love.

Old Way: Instead of having her boundaries potentially crossed and feeling that pain, A.V. just avoids relationships entirely and focuses on non-committal sex.

How it will play out: A.V. will meet her match in C.S. and they will make up their own rules.

4. (M.) I used to have nightmares and when I remembered them they were so scary. But Grandma was there and talking to her helped me make sense of it – better out than in!

Challenge: Nightmares can be healing.

Old Way: Avoid nightmares at all costs!

How it will play out: A.V. will get help to face her nightmares and integrating that information will make her a healthier and more authentic person.

5. (T.) I think the bigger distraction for you seems to be NOT having a partner. Partners can be stabilizing, joyful – and work, don’t get me wrong, but also – something that adds to our greatest strengths.

Challenge: Maybe partners can be helpful? Fun? Balancing?

Old Way: Partners are hurtful, mean, thoughtless, and being in romantic partnership is for fools.

How it will play out: A.V. will try her luck with C.S.. They will be very respectful and encouraging of each other, work through problems, and help each other achieve their dreams and be their most authentic selves.

[Chhimed Drolma]

CHHIMED DROLMA’S 12 ANGRY MEN ANALYSIS

What I learned doing this assignment is to look for the ways that people can have their beliefs/values/ways challenged. Henry Fonda did it in a way that is a lot more gentle than what one might see today on the internet and maybe there are subtler ways for people and characters to reveal other ways of being to antagonists.

12 ANGRY MEN OLD WAYS (#’s=Old Ways / Number + Letter=Challenge)

1. Care more about their ballgame than a man’s life. Murder is at least interesting. Assault, burglary cases aren’t entertaining enough.

1a. Henry Fonda says a man’s life is worth at least a few hours.

2. Immediate reaction of violence toward “slum kids.” The “slum kid” is lucky he got a trial, as if it isn’t his right. “They’re” born liars.

2a. “Only an ignorant man can believe that.”

3. Kids from “bad” backgrounds are menaces to society.

3a. Henry Fonda calls out the bigotry and sadism.

4. Racist tirade.

4a. Everyone either gets up, faces away from him, ignores him, or speaks up against him. Directly addresses prejudice.

5. Racist, sadistic tirade

5a. The picture of the man’s own estranged son makes him consider all HE’S done wrong in his relationship with his son and how maybe the kid on trial deserves another chance.

6. Racist sadist is crying silently as all file out of the jury room and ignore him in disgust/pity.

6a. Henry Fonda gets racist sadist his jacket, shows him maybe the first moment of compassion in his life.

CHHIMED DROLMA’S OLD WAYS CHALLENGE CHART

What I learned doing this assignment is that I need to rewrite my entire screenplay/book to include more challenges to my protagonist’s views and ways.

1. A.V. suffers through her daily nightmares alone.

1a. A.V. is challenged to share by W, then also by M and T, then she shares with O as an example.

2. A.V. womanizes to avoid the emotional pain of her first love.

2a. Meets C who directly confronts AV’s fear of relationship and motivates AV to be vulnerable.

3. Rather than communicate with her crew, A.V. hires someone to communicate with them and make sure their emotional needs are met.

3a. Her crew sees what she’s been through and vocally encourages her to reach out for help instead of helping them all the time.

4. Doesn’t let even her best friend D know what is going on with the little girl and why she’s looking for her.

4a. When AV finally, shamefully tells D what’s going on, he’s mad because he supports her 100% and challenges her to be a better friend and share herself.

5. Her knee-jerk reaction to emotional as well as physical threats/upset is violence or distraction through sex or drinking.

5a. AV’s tendency toward violence almost gets D killed. T encourages AV to seek help so she does finally talk with W and others and no longer feels like a loose cannon.

6. AV wants to discover what the nightmares are, but when she does, she doesn’t want to deal with them and thinks she can just move forward by continuing her Old Ways.

6a. T tries to talk with AV, but only M gets through to her and tells her how talking to someone helped her, then also talking with her grandma.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  Chhimed Drolma.

[Chhimed Drolma]

Chhimed Drolma’s Profound Ending

What I learned doing this assignment is that there are so many ways to pay off the journey and ending of my protagonist and make it more meaningful.

1. What is your Profound Truth and how will it be delivered powerfully in your ending?

Our broken-ness makes us loveable.

AV is broken down further by her enemies, in front of her entire crew, and lets out how deeply traumatized she is. She feels humiliated, but her crew embrace her trauma and come forward with support and love, defeating her enemies.

2. How do your lead characters (Change Agent and Transformable Characters) come to an end in a way that represents the completed change?

AV’s crew, who she never let in emotionally, come to know her deeply. They see her trauma, tenacity, vulnerability, and love her more for it.

3. What are the setup/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie, giving it deep meaning?

3a. AV starts with her quarters being totally private for her and E, not having any furniture in a big empty space. We see someone wants to go in and another crew member says emphatically that no one is allowed in there except AV’s right hand, D.

3b. AV starts alone in her feelings, worries, and traumas with just E, in the end she is warm with others and opens up a bit.

3c. AV starts with nightmares each morning, ends by waking up from a clear dream of her parents to the vast, beautiful expanse of space.

3d. AV starts with no family, ends with one blood family member, two “relatives,” and a very close group of friends and crew members.

3e. AV starts with so much trauma she is unable to get close to a romantic partner and womanizes instead. She ends, with the help of a trauma specialist, by wooing one special woman CS – not a one-night stand.

3f. AV starts with her signature weapon, a symbol of her connection to her dead second mother figure and the planet she grew up on.

4. How are you designing it to have us see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it happens?

4a. We see AV, in a moment of profound trauma, installing extra locks and security on her quarters.

4b. We see AV panicking and flying away from her crew.

4c. Mid-story, AV takes steps to get rid of her dreams forever with a drug treatment.

4d. Mid-story, AV contacts someone to see if she can set up her crew financially and leave to be on her own.

4e. After meeting CS, crushing on her and discussing her with D, W, and C, we see AV going into closed quarters with a random woman.

4f. AV’s weapon is ripped into pieces by her enemy.

5. What is the Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds?

We see additional locks and security gone. Her former signature weapon is on a shelf, retired, but repaired by a beautiful metallic substance. Inside AV’s quarters there is lots of cushy furniture filling up the empty space as key crew members marvel at all her personal items and enjoy the hospitality she’s providing. AV still looks uncomfortable, but she allows it and even cracks a smile.

[Chhimed Drolma]

Chhimed Drolma’s Connection with Audience

What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s much easier than I thought to quickly introduce a character and make them connect with audiences using these methods.

Tell us which characters you are going to INTENTIONALLY create a connection with the audience.

AV: A. Relatability B. Intrigue C. Empathy D. Likability

E: D. Likeability

D: D. Likeability

W: D. Likeability

PF: B. Intrigue

C: D. Likeability

With each character, tell us how you’ll use each of the four ways of connecting with the audience in the first 30 minutes of the movie. A. Relatability B. Intrigue C. Empathy D. Likability

AV: Show her horrific lifelong recurring nightmares accompanied by daytime panic though she can’t remember the dreams, and in spite of that, she acts easily and effectively to help others in life and death situations.

E: Show her cuteness and her ability to help and soothe AV.

D: Show him help AV and be her loyal, dependable ally in tough spots.

W: Show her help AV as well as a revolving door of other crew members on a daily basis.

PF: Show her have a hot one-night stand, accidentally incinerate her lover, then go back to her job despite being obviously traumatized.

C: Show his expert fighting skills and that he’s an extremely chivalrous romantic.

[Chhimed Drolma]

Chhimed Drolma’s Transformational Structure

WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT

…is to dig much deeper in my character journeys and find ways for them to fail, fail, fail, and then rise to the occasion heroically.

TRANSFORMATIONAL LOGLINE

A traumatized and lonely space mercenary is compelled to rescue a familiar child and finds peace and family in the process.

MAIN CHARACTER

Transformational Character, A.V.

MINI MOVIE STRUCTURE

MMM1: V goes to the elevator madness job, sees little girl who looks like her. Is practical and doesn’t want to go after the girl like D is trying to convince her because she has a job to do.

MMM2: Locked into finding the girl due to meeting C who will only help with keeping things quiet with the client if V finds the girl.

MMM3:

V tries all her contacts to no avail. Out of desperation, bottom of the barrel, Velvet tries her ex A for help which is humiliating.

MMM4:

A betrays V once again, taking the money to deliver the girl to Q. V comes to realize how important this girl is to her and that she’s lost her chance at finding her AND lost her self-respect.

MMM5:

V freaks out, not knowing where to go, what to do, and is triggered into not trusting anyone, even her crew and close friend D. W confronts and challenges V to go within. V meditates, talks with her inner BG, is empowered by her.

MMM6:

V moves forward with a new plan to reach out to the girl in meditation. During their meditation connection, she sees flashbacks and recalls her lost memories. She loses it so intensely she can’t quite get the girl’s location though she reached out to her and told her she was coming to help her. Now with their connection broken and Velvet’s trauma taking over, she feels frantic to save her. Velvet brings her memories to her inner BG who helps her integrate them with all her talents and skills.

MMM7:

Velvet reconnects with the girl, finds her, instructs her in what to do, and also is able to view Q which allows her to bring her crew and C in to the fight to save this girl and bring down Q. V also sees two other people like her in meditation and connects with them.

MMM8:
V finds and rescues the girl. V has a final fuck you moment with A. The two other people are waiting at her ship when she arrives back with the girl. They have a family reunion of sorts and discuss what their future will look like together. V gathers with her crew, gets soft with them, then they train together.

HAVE I COVERED THESE?

The Transformational Journey listed in your logline – YES

***The Three Gradients***

The Forced Change Emotional Gradient – YES

The Action Gradient –

The Challenge / Weakness Gradient – YES

Is it sequenced in Escalating Challenges – YES

[Chhimed Drolma]

Chhimed Drolma’s Three Gradients

WHAT I LEARNED

This assignment helped me determine all the individual ways a character can go through trials, ways to bring her emotions and growth to the surface, and how much better this is than writing a meandering story with no idea where to take it.

EMOTIONAL GRADIENT I’LL USE

Desired Change

EACH GRADIENT’S EMOTIONS

Emotion: Excitement

Action: A.V. sees a kid who looks just like her and drops everything to find her.

Challenge: Blowing off an important job and payment for her crew to find the kid.

Weakness: Obsession.

Emotion: Doubt

Action: Tries to find her and can’t.

Challenge: Getting through a mob safehouse to hopefully find her or discover where she is.

Weakness: Panic and PTSD showing up in missing shots and losing focus.

Emotion: Hope

Action: A.V. finds the girl, the girl’s grandmother and her own cousin – much more than she could have imagined.

Challenge: Wading through all the cultural, historical, familial stories

Weakness: Naivete – willing to believe anything from anyone if it will give her a family.

Emotion: Discouragement

Action: A.V.’s newly found cousin betrays her to those who killed their people and she must move forward and function while being hunted.

Challenge: Struggling to evade capture, to protect the girl and her grandmother.

Weakness: Denial, loss of trust, demoralization, back into survival mode.

Emotion: Courage

Action: A.V. goes after and tries to kill the people who killed her birth family.

Challenge: A.V. is instead convinced by the girl to try restorative justice.

Weakness: Blind rage, vengeance.

Emotion: Triumph…or Loss

Action: A.V.’s crew now knows everything about her and she struggles to exist in this new reality.

Challenge: Becoming okay with people truly knowing her.

Weakness: Loss of the tight control A.V. thought she had over how everyone perceived her – experienced by A.V. as a loss, but experienced by all who know and love her as a triumph.

[Chhimed Drolma]

Chhimed Drolma’s Lead Characters

WHAT I LEARNED

I didn’t have a Betraying Character! A Betraying Character will bring so much more depth to the story, much more difficulty for my protagonist to overcome or transform. This changes my story for the better!

LOGLINE

A traumatized and lonely space mercenary is compelled to rescue a familiar child and she finds peace and family in the process.

CHANGE AGENT

M: She is a child in a similar situation as A.V., but has had the benefit of a Mother and Grandmother. She represents what A.V. could have been and what she can still be, even with trauma.

TRANSFORMABLE CHARACTER

A.V.: She’s on her own just living day to day, surviving financially and except for her pet, she doesn’t open up to anyone. She takes care of everyone on her ship and doesn’t let others care for her because her trauma is too great and shameful to even begin to chip away at.

THE OPPRESSION

Trauma: A.V. has forgotten her past, knows no one who looks like her, her second mom was killed in front of her, and her first love cheated on her. Trauma works as The Oppression in this story because others have done things to her, but now she continues to traumatize herself by keeping her life small and safe. When she meets M, someone with her same circumstances, A.V. can begin to see her past and present from another perspective.

BETRAYING CHARACTER

O: He is so messed up from his childhood trauma he doesn’t know how to form connections or get paid work without betraying people for money. He meets A.V. and “befriends” her, but once he realizes he could actually form a relationship with her, it’s too late, he’s already agreed to sell her to the highest bidder to survive.

[Chhimed Drolma]

Chimed Drolma’s Transformational Journey

What I learned doing this assignment is that all my other loglines were crap! They were more for shock value or attention-grabbing as opposed to showing any kind of trajectory at all or even what the story would be about. I also learned I need to totally re-work my story with this in mind and am excited to do that.

LOGLINE

A traumatized and lonely space mercenary is compelled to rescue a familiar child and finds peace and family in the process.

OLD WAYS
She lives by one-night stands, takes meaningless highly-paid work, and doesn’t let anyone in except her buddy from military days.

NEW WAYS
Through her rescue of a young girl, Velvet finally deals with her recurring nightmares, family trauma, and sets herself up for a more connected and fulfilling life.

[Chhimed Drolma]

Chhimed Drolma’s First Three Decisions

What I learned doing this assignment was that even picking a Profound Truth can add richness to a story and help flesh it out. I had loose ideas, but this will help me enrich and reframe my entire story as well as aid my 2nd draft immensely.

<b role=”presentation”>What is your profound truth?

You can outshine your trauma.

<b role=”presentation”>What is the change your movie will cause with an audience?

Life can be joyful if one opens up.

<b role=”presentation”>What is your Entertainment Vehicle that you will tell this story through?

Pick A World: Space Mercenaries.

[Chhimed Drolma]

DAY 1 ASSIGNMENT

TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY

For Phil: Doesn’t appreciate where he is, wants to get somewhere else in search of “happiness,” wants to know everything Rita wants so he can “get” her.

For audience: From Phil’s unhappiness and dissatisfaction to his happiness and satisfaction in every moment, and through doing good and enjoying himself authentically, he becomes every good quality Rita described – without expectation!

MAIN CHARACTERS

Change Agent: Rita

Transformational Character: Phil

Oppression: The Time Loop aka Phil’s own unhappiness and dissatisfaction

CONNECTION WITH AUDIENCE (why are we going on this journey)

Relatability:

Phil wants his life to be “better” and we all could probably say that

He’s frustrated with all the minutiae of life and so are we

Phil has no idea what’s going on with this time loop and neither do we

Phil wants to know why the same thing is happening over and over and over and so do we

Intrigue: Something otherworldly is at play

Phil is in some sort of time loop!

Why does it keep repeating?

What is Phil supposed to be doing/learning/achieving through all this???

What is the meaning of everything he’s going through?

How, through all the different things he’s trying, is Phil not “figuring it out?”

Will he ever get out of the time loop?

What is the key to getting him out?

OLD WAYS vs NEW WAY

Old Ways: Cynicism and assholery. Perpetual unhappiness with things as they are. Phil wants to be special and to have everyone cater to him. To Phil, women are ornaments in his life and a prize to be won, not partners, and he doesn’t even like himself.

New Way at end: Kindness and service. Happiness in each moment. Phil helps everyone, just because they need it and finds joy there! Phil grows to love himself as he authentically is AND finds genuine love with Rita.

GRADIENT OF CHANGE

The transformation: Phil must find happiness in every moment, be kind, help others, and learn to love himself.

Establishing Phil’s belief:

A time loop is happening for some reason

Is this an excuse to go hog wild?

Is this a way to “get” a woman?

Is this the way to die?

IS he, in fact, the center of the universe?

Phil gets rejected over and over for doing all the “right” things

Phil can’t get out of the loop no matter what he does

He tells the truth to Rita about himself and everything out of sheer bewilderment and desperation

Starts to find enjoyment in little things and in getting to know people and helping them

BELIEFS/OLD WAY CHALLENGED

Before the time loop and even well into it, Phil thinks he’s the absolute center of the universe.

First, Phil thinks he no longer has to play by the rules of society and ends up in jail for the night

Second, Phil thinks nothing matters and he can do whatever he wants which he uses to take joy in others’ misery and engage in gluttony

He believes he’s a god at some point

He begins to find out about Rita… to manipulate her into sleeping with him

After trying absolutely everything (he thinks) and not escaping the time loop, Phil’s belief that he’s the center of the universe and knows everything about everything is challenged

PROFOUND MOMENTS

Phil drinks with and drives drunk guys, then ends up in jail because he can do anything and nothing matters = “nothing matters” doesn’t work

Rita slaps Phil a million times = romantic love doesn’t work

Kills himself a million times = suicide doesn’t work

Phil gives up and starts telling the truth and being totally authentic, then declares his admiration for Rita, leaves her be, and no longer tries to coerce her

Gives a huge wad of cash to the homeless man who he’s never even acknowledged with anything other than disgust for the whole movie

Performs kind gestures for his co-workers, asks them questions and then LISTENS

Finds joy in having coffee, reading and listening to music in a diner

Improves the groundhog-enthusiast-in-the-hotel’s day by being kind and joyful

Learns piano and seems content being a beginner at first

Makes ice sculptures, seemingly just for fun

Deals with the annoying classmate/insurance salesman with kindness 😉

He tries to help the homeless man not die (and even gives him mouth-to-mouth where he previously struggled with LOOKING at him), can’t, but in the end comes to accept death as a natural part of life

Comes to love and appreciate the people of Punxatawney who he previously viewed as “hicks”

Helps the kid falling out of the tree even though he never gets thanked

Jams with musicians just for fun and to make everyone happy

Is totally in the moment and real with Rita

PROFOUND DIALOGUE

BOWLING ALLEY
Bar guys: Some guys would see half empty, some half full. I think you’re a half full kinda guy.
Phil: What would you do if you were in the same place every day and nothing that you did mattered?

Bar guys: That about sums it up for me.

DRUNKEN CAR RIDE, PHIL DRIVES
Phil: What if there were no tomorrow?
Bar guys: That would mean there’d be no consequences, no hangovers – we could do whatever we wanted!
Phil: That’s true. We could do whatever we want!

PHIL GLUTTONY SCENE
Rita: The wretch, concentred all in self, living, shall forfeit fair renown, and doubly dying, shall go down, to the vile dust from whence he sprung – unwept, unhonored, and unsung. -Sir Walter Scott.
Phil: You think I’m acting like this because I’m egocentric?
Rita: I know you’re egocentric, it’s your defining characteristic.

PHIL TRIES EVERYTHING TO COERCE RITA INTO SEX

Rita: Is this what love is for you?
Phil: No, this is real, this is love!

Rita: Stop saying that! You must be crazy. I could never love someone like you Phil because you could never love anyone but yourself.

Phil: That’s not true. I don’t even like myself! Give me another chance.

Rita: *slap* That’s for making me care about you.

CAFE SCENE
Phil: Maybe the real God uses tricks. Maybe he’s not omnipotent, he’s just been around so long he knows everything.

PHIL ICE SCULPTING RITA
Phil: No matter what happens tomorrow or for the rest of my life, I’m happy now, because I love you.

BED SCENE AFTER *NEW* MORNING
Phil: Something is different.
Rita: Good or bad?
Phil: Anything different is good…….
Phil: Is there anything I can do for you?

LEAVING THE HOTEL ON FEB 3
Phil: It’s so beautiful! Let’s live here.

PROFOUND ENDING

By being kind and compassionate, helping others, studying the arts, accepting reality, being himself, and learning to love himself as he is, Phil inadvertently becomes the exact man Rita described in the beginning.

PROFOUND TRUTH

Life is about being kind, helping others, enjoying the present, and living and loving your authentic self which naturally attracts people.

[Chhimed Drolma]

1. Name? Chhimed (pronounced CHEEmay) Drolma.

2. How many scripts you’ve written? One that I no longer have access to. One that I’m in process with.

3. What you hope to get out of the class? Education, skills and confidence with getting a script together, and maybe some new writer buddies. 🙂

4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? Aside from my name, I would love to visit space!

[Chhimed Drolma]

I, Chhimed Drolma, agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.