Chris Dorsey
Forum Replies Created
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What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is incumbent on knowing how my characters would behave, as it relates to their core traits, in scenes.
Person 1: charming, thoughtful, lazy, and manipulative. This is the kind of person who would charm you into doing a favor for you and have you thank them for doing it.
Person 2: funny, confident, domineering, and self-serving. This is the kind of person who would bend the rules because no one is going to tell them otherwise… until they get caught.
Person 3: kind, intelligent, anxious, and manipulative. This is the kind of person who will steer others in a direction that soothes their own anxieties — and they’re good at it too.
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Chris Dorsey Puts Essence to Work
What I learned is to keep looking more in depth at a scene to see if it matches with the intended essence of the scene.
Script I choose: THE COUNSELORS
Scene 1 Location: A MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON down South. Logline: DON meets with recruiter outside the prison entrance and has concerns he will be able to handle the job. Essence I’ve discovered: DON is applying for a job as a mental health counselor but is himself mentally ill (he has auditory and visual hallucinations of his alter- ego). New Logline: DON has an important job interview but keeps getting interrupted by his alter-ego, HAROLD, who doesn’t want him to take the job.
Scene 2 Location: Inside the PRISON Logline: Don, the recruiter, another perspective employee, and the unit manager go on a walking tour of the prison. Essence I’ve discovered: Harold fights Don on taking the job, but he also has Don’s back & wants Don to be a better person. New Logline: Don and the others go on a walking tour of the prison, all the while being pushed and possibly supported by the Harold, his alter-ego.
Scene 3 Location: ACUTE CARE UNIT Logline: Don gets to observe an inmate on observation who was cutting himself. Essence I’ve discovered: Don has his own demons and wants to help people. New Logline: While meeting with an inmate who is on observation for injuring himself, Don makes a gesture or says something to show why he’s really interviewing here.
Scene 4 Location: INTERVIEW ROOM Logline: Don is quizzed on his knowledge of mental health disorders and passes with flying colors, but Don is still unsure of himself. Essence I’ve discovered: maybe this isn’t the right place for Don to work — this prison is overwhelming for him. New Logline: After acing the interview, Don decides this isn’t the place for him.
Scene 5 Location: MEDIUM SECURITY Prison down South. Logline: Don interviews at another prison where the staff is less professional — quirky — but feels more like home to him. Essence I’ve discovered: I want to add a scene that shows a more human part to the INMATES and how this makes Don want to work here. New Logline: Don interviews at a second prison where he feels he can make more of a difference, despite having to work with a quirky staff.
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Chris Finds the Essence
What I learned is that there is more depth to great writing and it all
starts with getting to the essence of what you want to write.Script I choose: BREAKING BAD Pilot
Scene 1 Location: The Desert (Teaser)
Logline: Walter's life has gone terribly off the rails and he is leaving a last will and testament.
Essence: He's not going to be taken alive.Scene 2 Location: Kitchen
Logline: Walter eats breakfast with his family. His life is pretty routing.
Essence: Walter is stuck in a life he might not be happy with..Scene 3 Location: Restaurant
Logline: Walter, his family, and his in-laws eat dinner and discuss Walter's second job and Hank appears on TV.
Essence: Walter, Jr. and Hank get along better than Walter does with his son. The drug bust piques Walter's interest.Scene 4 Location: Target House
Logline: Walter goes for a ride along and sees his former student is making crystal-meth.
Essence: Walter doesn't tell Hank what he knows about the former student.Scene 5 Location: Jessie's Home
Logline: Walter tells Jessie how his crystal-meth should be made.
Essence: Walter is a perfectionist and is very good at chemistry.-
This reply was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by Chris Dorsey.
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This reply was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by
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I, Chris Dorsey, AGREE to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class. -
Hi Everyone. My name is Chris Dorsey and I’ve written 5 scripts. I would like to utilize this class to elevate the quality of my scripts.
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Finished 1st Draft!
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Chris Dorsey’s Solved Character Problems!
What I learned doing this assignment is to put the Protagonist and Antagonist through the potential problems listed in the lesson. Specifically, I made sure I had stronger character introductions – I took out and added scenes – and made sure that neither Protagonist or Antagonist were too likable or not likable enough.
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Chris Dorsey’s Solved Structural Problems
What I learned doing this assignment is to ask the lesson’s questions while looking at my outline to make sure it is as strong as it can be.
Act 1:
Opening/Old Ways: I found my opening scenes to be engaging. My lead character is clearly living in a pre-transformation mode and their old ways are showing up in both their dialogue and their behaviors.
Inciting Incident: Wilbert, who is overly positive, is asked to “snitch” on the dorm bully. He reluctantly does so which starts his problems/adventure.
Turning Point: The bully talks his way back into the dorm and puts everyone on notice that he is going to find the snitch — Wilbert — and kill him.
Act 2:
New Plan: Wilbert thinks that he can change the dorm bully with some simple TLC and kindness. Wilbert’s naive take on it is there’s a little bit of good in everyone.
Plan in action: He is going to push himself on the Antagonist and kill the Antagonist with kindness and try to change his way of thinking. Befriend the bully.
Midpoint Turning Point: The Bully knows that Wilbert was the one who ratted him out. He’s been playing Wilbert the whole time. Wilbert now knows that not everyone has a little bit of good in them or are worth “saving.”
Act 3:
React/Rethink: Wilbert has to change to deal with the Antagonist; toughen up, be alright with having negative feeling for another person, and coming clean about his own issues. How do they react or rethink things? He thinks he himself may be part of the problem.
New Plan: Embrace therapy and challenge the “good voices” in his head.
Turning Point: The Antagonist sabotages Wilbert psychiatric medications and Wilbert has a nervous breakdown. He also hears “the bad” voices and acts upon these voices. Wilbert is placed in the medical unit in restraints. Now the gloves are off.
Act 4:
Dilemma: Where Wilbert has to make a choice: keep his mouth shut and be released in a month or stick up for the mental health inmates and do serious time.
Climax/Ultimate expression Of The Conflict: Once Wilbert sticks up for another inmate, the Antagonist and Wilbert fight to the death. How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? Flawed but Good defeated very flawed and bad. Wilbert uses his strengths to stop an all-out prison riot.
Resolution: Wilbert is now a well-known, public advocate for inmates with mental health disorders.
<font face=”inherit”>New Ways: What are the New Ways and do they clearly show up in your lead character’s Act 4 behavior and dialogue? Confident, empathetic towards other — but in a realistic way — and someone who </font>is comfortable with uncomfortable thoughts.
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Chris Dorsey’s 4 Act Structure
Create a first draft of your 4 Act Transformational Structure.
1. Give us the following:
Concept — When an innocent man is incarcerated with some of the country’s most dangerous psychopaths, he must rely on/embrace his voices/his mental illness to win his freedom.
Main Conflict — The Antagonist and the system try to shut up, stop, and eventually kill the Protagonist, because the Protagonist is a threat to the prison’s status quo — SURVIVAL.
Old Ways — Avoidant/hiding (hiding his own MH symptoms), super helpful and optimistic, Polly Anna-ish. Connects with others but through his “silver lining” approach.
New Ways — Empathetic/connects to others on a real level, group leader, courageous, fights for the rights of mentally-ill inmates.
2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
Opening — Wilbert McNutt arrives at the prison mental health facility holding his bedsheets and pillow in his outreached arms. He goes through intake process. The prison barbers cut his bangs down to the scalp/nub. Hand him a mirror. They giggle to each other. They leave the sides longer.
Another inmate jumps off the second tier slams to the ground in front of Wilbert. Wilbert looks over and sees the Antagonist and his group laughing and high-fiving each other.
Inciting Incident — Wilbert snitches on the Antagonist and the Antagonist does 30 days in the whole.
Turning Point — The Antagonist is released from the hole, and Wilbert tries to befriend the Antagonist; it doesn’t work.
Wilbert realizes that mental health treatment might be the last thing he’s going to receive in the prison system after he witnesses how the inmates are treated by staff.
After he brings his concerns to prison staff, the building’s top psychopath tries to kill him.
Act 2:
New plan — Win the Antagonist over at any cost.
Plan in action — He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness. He’s going to ignore the voices in his head.
Midpoint Turning Point — The Antagonist goes berserk and strangles Wilbert almost to death. Wilbert is close to death when other inmates intercede and save his life.
Wilbert seeks external legal help for protection after this event. He also asks for his case to be appealed.
Wilbert stops taking his medications and learns his auditory hallucinations may actually help him survive in prison.
Wilbert uncovers evidence that could lead to his conviction being overturned in the appeals process.
Wilbert has a breakthrough in therapy that helps him discover why he is the way he is — he’s too nice. This is the information he needs for his internal transformation. He learns that he developed a reactionary set of coping mechanisms from loss that no longer suit him.
Act 3:
Rethink everything — He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.
New plan — Wilbert realizes that the voices in his head (i.e. auditory hallucinations) are actually there to help him. He embraces the voices and he taps into his bad side.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift — His bad voice takes control and forces him to fail.
After his friend dies (by suicide or homicide), he discovers that prison staff (i.e. guards and the Warden) are purposefully putting his life at risk and covering up other crimes/inhumane treatment of inmates.
Wilbert verbally calls out the Antagonist in front of the whole cellblock. With more than half of the inmates in the dorm on Wilbert’s side, Wilbert spells out and challenges all of the Antagonists warped ways of thinking and behaviors. The Antagonist challenges Wilbert to a fight to the death.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict — Wilbert fights the Antagonist in mortal combat and beats the Antagonist. He realizes that somewhere in the middle, between overly positive voices and bad voices, is where he should be. He spares the Antagonist’s life. He exposes the corrupt prison system and makes the corruption public (through either a counselor or another outside source).
Resolution — Wilbert wins his freedom and does a press conference. With his new found confidence, is able to confront his ex-wife, win his children back, and take control of his life in a real and meaningful way. He starts an organization to help incarcerated inmate with mental health disorders.
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Chris Dorsey’s Act 4 Resolution
What I learned doing this assignment is that though I’m not happy with my Act 4 resolution, it’s okay for now.
INT. TELEVISION SET – DAY
Wilbert sits opposite a female TALK SHOW HOST.
TALK SHOW HOST
Good morning. We’re here this Wilbert McNutt whose video of him stopping a prison riot has gone viral. You’ve now become a spokesperson for those who suffer from mental health issues in the prison system. What do you want people to know?
WILBERT
I want people to know that the way the criminal justice system treats the mentally ill. The odds are stacked against this population. And where’s the treatment? It’s an unjust and unfair system. And the change begins with the courts and how they adjudicate cases where the defendant is mentally ill. It’s called the criminalization of mental health, where… These defendants can’t always defend themselves and usually can’t pay for good representation.
TALK SHOW HOST
A lot of single ladies out there want to know if you’re single. So, how about it? Are you single?
WILBERT
…
PLACEHOLDER: What changes have occurred at the prison.
EXT. PRISON GROOUNDS – DAY
Wilbert tells his story to the news.
INT. COURT – DAY
Wilbert is granted a divorce and keeps his house. He is granted half-custody of his two children.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Wilbert opens his office and welcomes his new employees; ex-inmates with mental health disorders.
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert returns to the prison to work.
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Chris Dorsey Act 4 Climax
What I learned doing this assignment is put in additional, previous scenes to build yo the climax.
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
Wilbert enters the dorm holding a medical chart under his arm. He sees the Antagonist and his crew picking on Pinky.
ANTAGONIST
You’re going to give me all your store goods or else.
PINKY
(softly)
No.
ANTAGONIST
What the fuck did you just say to me?!
PINKY
I said “no”!
ANTAGONIST
Wrong answer, Pinky.
The Antagonist puts Pinky into a headlock.
ANTAGONIST
Give me your store good!
PINKY
No, you thieving bastard!
The Antagonist gives Pinky a good, hard kick to the ass while keeping him in the headlock.
ANTAGONIST
Give it up!
PINKY
I ain’t doing this anymore! It’s not fair!
ANTAGONIST
You want fair?
The Antagonist give Pinky another kick to the ass. This time it’s harder.
PINKY
You’re going to kick me to death because I ain’t giving you any more of my store goods!
ANTAGONIST
Have it your way.
Wilbert and his Cellmate stand off to the side. Wilbert waffles between interceding and hanging back. He takes a step forward and his Cellmate grab him by the arm.
CELLMATE
Wilbert, don’t. You’re going to get out of here soon. You’ll pick up a new charge.
Wilbert brushes past his Cellmate and moves forward.
The Antagonist winds up to give Pinky another kick.
WILBERT
Stop! Take your hands off Pinky.
ANTAGONIST
Or what?
WILBERT
Or else I’ll kill you.
The Antagonist lets go of Pinky. Pinky walks over to Wilbert and stands next to him.
ANTAGONIST
Lets do this thing. Mortal combat.
(yells out to the dorm)
Mortal Combat!
WILBERT
Let’s take it to the yard. Pinky, gather everyone. I’m going to get something from my cell. See you in a minute.
Pinky nods his head “yes” and runs off.
The Antagonist turns to speak to his SIDEKICK.
ANTAGONIST
Get outside and once everyone’s in, jam the locks so the guards can’t stop the fight.
SIDEKICK
Got you, boss.
EXT. PRISON YARD – CONTINUES
The Documentary Film Makers holds a microphone up to a SAD-LOOKING INMATE. A CAMERAMAN films the interview.
SAD-LOOKING INMATE
Insert something funny…
Sad-looking inmate stops mid-sentence. His jaw drops.
SAD-LOOKING INMATE
Holy shit!
Inmates pile out of four different dorms and enter the prison yard. Sidekick ushers them all in. He jams the lock on the gated fence with a [ ].
Wilbert and the Antagonist stand in the middle of the yard and stare each other down.
ANTAGONIST
What do you got there, McNutt?
WILBERT
This? This is your mental health records. That was some read. I think everyone be interested in hearing what it says about you.
ANTAGONIST
…
The Antagonist pulls out a switch blade.
ANTAGONIST
What, Wilbert, you gonna’ cry and say, “That’s not fair?”
WILBERT
Nope. All’s fair in love and war.
Wilbert pulls out an officer’s baton.
WILBERT
Figured I’de take this just in case.
CLIMAX: He realizes that somewhere in the middle, between overly positive voices and bad voices, is where he should be. He spares the Antagonist’s life. He exposes the corrupt prison system and makes the corruption public (through either his pro bone attorney and his camera crew).
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Chris Dorsey’s Act 4 First Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is to look at the beat sheet and look for potential character dilemmas.
Reaction to 3rd Act Turning Point:
INT. MEDICAL UNIT – DAY
Individual Plexiglas cells. Wilbert is strapped down on a gurney. He looks at the restraints, perplexed.
Another inmate, a few feet away, is also strapped down to a gurney. This inmate is wearing a helmet, canvass mitts, and a mesh spit guard. He’s calm.
WILBERT
So, what are you in here for?
The other inmate struggles to get out of his restraints. He bangs the back of his helmet-covered head on the gurney. MUFFLED SHOUTING.
WILBERT
Ohh, sorry.
Nurses rush into the room. The hold him down and inject him in the buttocks. Within seconds he calms down.
NURSE 1
I wonder what set him off?
NURSE 2
Who knows?
NURSE 1
How are you doing today, Wilbert?
WILBERT
I don’t know. What happened to me?
NURSE 1
You lit your mattress on fir and jumped off
WILBERT
I think I remember a bouncy castle.
NURSE 1
Are you still hearing voices and seeing things?
WILBERT
No, I feel better. Much better. The voices stopped.
NURSE 1
I want to take a look at you blister pack.
Nurse 1 takes Wilbert’s blister back out of a cabinet. Three sheets of medications are secured with a rubber band. She studies each blister pack.
NURSE 1
This is strange. This doesn’t look like any of the medications you’re supposed to be prescribed. This is Aspirin, this is a multi-vitamin, and this is for bed-wetting. But these blister packs have your name on it. I don’t understand.
WILBERT
Someone switched them. My medications for someone else’s.
NURSE 1
But why would someone do that?
Wilbert doesn’t answer. He’s fuming. He’s going to get even.
NURSE 1
I’m going to look into it. It’s very concerning. But the good news is you’re free to go back to the dorm this afternoon.
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert puts the Antagonist in front of everyone. “My parents always said I should be nice to people, no matter what.”
Dilemma Scene acted to Act 3:
INT. LAW LIBRARY – DAY
PRO BONO attorney meets with Wilbert.
ATTORNEY
I’ve been looking into you case and I found a possible way to win you your freedom.
WILBERT
That’s amazing. What did you find?
ATTORNEY
The woman you ran over with your car, she’s a scam artist. She’s been throwing herself in front of cars for year and accepting the insurance payouts.
WILBERT
But how are we going to prove that? They also convicted me on destruction of private property.
ATTORNEY
But you court-assigned lawyer didn’t advocate for you well enough. It was your first psychotic break?
WILBERT
Yes.
ATTORNEY
And then they took you to the psychiatric hospital and you became violent. The court found you guilty but mentally ill.
WILBERT
I was guilty but mentally-ill. But I’m still doing the same time as if I was just found guilty. It doesn’t make sense at all.
ATTORNEY
Yes, I know, and I want to fight that. But in your case, I found a sympathetic judge who is willing to overturn your conviction based on your underling mental health condition and the fact that the woman you hit purposely caused her own injuries.
WILBERT
But she broke both of her legs. I need to be punished for that.
ATTORNEY
You don’t. You need to start looking out for yourself instead of others, especially the one’s who don’t care a bit about you.
WILBERT
I’ll try.
ATTORNEY
There’s one more thing. There’s a good chance I could have you out in a couple of months, but you have to keep your mouth shut. You have to stay out of trouble and stop advocating for other inmates in your dorm.
WILBERT
But they need me.
ATTORNEY
If the prison finds out what I’m up to with your case, they might find a way to put extra charges on you and send you away to another prison for the next twenty years. They’re going to do everything they can to prevent you from exposing the poor mental health treatment inmates are receiving here.
Wilbert considers, torn.
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
Wilbert enters the dorm to see the Antagonist and his friends picking on Pinky.
ANTAGONIST
You’re going to give me all your store goods or else.
PINKY
(softly)
No.
ANTAGONIST
What the fuck did you just say to me?!
PINKY
I said “no”!
ANTAGONIST
Wrong answer, Pinky.
The Antagonist puts Pinky into a headlock.
ANTAGONIST
Give me your store good!
PINKY
No, you thieving bastard!
The Antagonist gives Pinky a good, hard kick to the ass while keeping him in the headlock.
ANTAGONIST
Give it up!
PINKY
I ain’t doing this anymore! It’s not fair!
ANTAGONIST
You want fair?
The Antagonist give Pinky another kick to the ass. This time it’s harder.
PINKY
You’re going to kick me to death because I ain’t giving you any more of my store goods.
ANTAGONIST
Have it your way.
The Antagonist winds up to give Pinky another kick.
WILBERT
Stop! Take your hands off Pinky.
ANTAGONIST
Or what?
WILBERT
Or else I’ll kill you myself.
The Antagonist lets go of Pinky. Pinky walks over to WIlbert and stands next to him.
ANTAGONIST
Lets do this thing.
WILBERT
We’ll do this thing, but I have something I want to say to everyone first.
PLACEHOLDER: Insert the final showdown.
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Chris Dorsey’s Completed Act 3
What I learned doing this assignment is to complete what I can and to not force myself to write the scenes I don’t know yet. I think that the two – three placeholders with the rest of Act 3 is as far as I’m going to get at this point. And that’s okay.
ACT 3:
Antagonist Beat #7: Plots to kill Wilbert by someone else’s hands and to make it look like an accident. Wilbert, by dumb luck alone, escapes these attempts.
Rethink everything — He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.
New plan — Wilbert realizes that the voices in his head (i.e. Auditory hallucinations) are actually there to help him. He embraces the voices and he taps into his bad side.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift — His bad voice takes control and forces him to fail.
INT. MEDICAL ROOM, MEDICATION ROOM – NIGHT
The Antagonist mops the floor.
An OVERWEIGHT OFFICER sits back in his chair.
ANTAGONIST
Someone just brought in a big box of donuts. They’re on the table in the other room.
OVERWEIGHT OFFICER
I’ll be back in a few. Keep an eye on things for me.
ANTAGONIST
Take your time.
He puts his mop aside and goes snooping. He finds the medication for his dorm. The name on the medication blister pack reads: “Wilbert McNutt.”
He swaps it for another inmates blister pack of aspirin.
ANTAGONIST
Let’s see how long you last off you medications, McNutt.
INT. CAFETERIA – DAY
Wilbert stands on the chow line. He pushes his tray along the [insert].
MALE VOICE
Kill everyone!
Wilbert looks around. Shakes his head to clear his head. The SERVER looks at him. Strange.
INT. PSYCHIATRIST’S OFFICE -DAY
Wilbert sits across from the psychiatrist. Wilbert looks concerned.
PSYCHIATRIST
So what’s going on?
WILBERT
I don’t think my medications are working anymore.
PSYCHIATRIST
I have you on the highest dose possible.
WILBERT
And I’ve been hearing voices again. They’re telling me to do bad things.
PSYCHIATRIST
You know what I think? I think someone’s put you up to this… You are malingering.
WILBERT
What? No. I’m really hearing voices.
PSYCHIATRIST
This reminds me of the time…
MALE VOICE
Punch him. Punch this asshole.
Wilbert covers his ears.
PSYCHIATRIST
You can cover your ears to block out these supposed voices, but I still don’t believe you. You are enough antipsychotic meds to knock out a donkey.
INT. GROUP ROOM – DAY
He’s nasty to others in group. Challenges the status quo.
Beginning: WIlbert is looking around. He’s engaged by internal stimuli. He’s paranoid.
Middle: “Fuck everybody. Fuck you all.
End: Wilbert abruptly leaves group.
He goes from Super Good to Super Bad. Good voices vs. Bad voices.
WILBERT
Who are you?
MALE VOICE
Satan.
WILBERT
Satan? I find it hard to believe that out of all the places you could be, you’d choose to he here.
MALE VOICE
I’m… Uh… [insert].
WILBERT
Okay, [insert]. I’ll do your bidding.
PLACEHOLDER: The voices start telling/making Wilbert do bad things. It gets him some respect but also gets him sent to “the hole.”
INT. VISITATION ROOM – DAY
TE 6: After his friend dies (by suicide or homicide), he discovers that prison staff (i.e. Guards and the Warden) are purposefully putting his life at risk and covering up other crimes/inhumane treatment of inmates.
Antagonist Beat #6: Manipulates the mental health and prison staff to stay in the mental health dorm when others point out that he may not be mentally ill. Bribes others.
INT. CELLBLOCK – LATER
Placeholder: Wilbert shouts weird shit to the dorm. Is challenged by the Antagonist. He knows some of Wilbert’s secrets and issues them against him.
ANTAGONIST
Shut up, Wilbert.
Wilbert stands in the middle of the cellblock shouting and preaching.
WILBERT
You mother fuckers in the control room, I know you implanted your micro-machines in my head! You think you’re going to show me pornography all night long and get away with it?
He points over to the two male officers manning the control room. They look back at Wilbert in shock.
WILBERT
Yeah, you! But today, that’s going to stop.
Wilbert removes a tube of toothpaste from his pocket. He hold the tube up to one ear and squeezes toothpaste into his ear. He repeats the same action with his other ear.
The FLOOR OFFICER calls something into the radio, concerned.
Wilbert climbs the stairs to the second tier and enters a random cell.
INSIDE THE CELL
Wilbert paces back and forth in the cell.
MALE VOICE
Wilbert, burn this mother fucker down!
He floods the cell.
Wilbert smiles, maniacal. He “pops the socket” and lights a roll of toilet paper on fire. He drops it on top of his mattress. He drags the lit mattress out of his room and throws it to the floor below.
The CERT Team and other officers rush into the building. They lock eyes with Wilbert.
MALE VOICE
Climb into the rafters, Spider Man.
Wilbert pulls himself up to the top of the cell door. He stand on top of the door and jumps up to grab a ceiling beam. He pulls himself up and crawls on the beam to the center.
The Captain calls over the radio.
CAPTAIN
Bring the rescue mattress to Mental Health Unit Three.
The Captain looks up. Wilbert looks unsteady.
CAPTAIN
Put a rush on that. And get someone from the Mental Health Team down here.
(to Wilbert)
What are you doing up there?
WILBERT
I’m listening to the voice in my head. He told me to come up here.
CAPTAIN
Don’t listen to the voice. Just climb back down, slowly.
MALE VOICE
Don’t climb back down. Fly back down.
WILBERT
I can fly?
CAPTAIN
McNutt, don’t even think about it!
A team of INMATE FIREFIGHTERS rush into the dorm holding a rolled up yellow … They drop it in the floor space under Wilbert. They pull a cord and the mattress expands to full size.
WILBERT
I can fly!
Wilbert jumps and lands into the middle of the mattress. The mattress partially deflates under the pressure.
WILBERT
I’m going to stab you with my sword!
The Officers pull Wilbert off the mattress.
Inmates CLAP as they drag Wilbert out of the unit.
-
Chris Dorsey’s Act 3 Turning Point
What I learned doing this assignment is to switch a prior scene from the Day 18 assignment to today’s turning Act 3 turning point.
INT. CELLBLOCK – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert has a nervous breakdown. He burns his mattress, floods his cell, Has an imaginary weapon [look at my journal], climbs into the rafters calling himself Spider Man, puts a noose around his neck, talks to himself, paranoid, cursing people out, saying weird shit about people. Manic.
INT. MEDICAL UNIT – DAY
Individual Plexiglas cells. Wilbert is strapped down on a gurney.
Another inmate, a few feet away, is also strapped down to a gurney. This inmate is wearing a helmet, canvass mitts, and a mesh spit guard. He’s calm.
WILBERT
So, what are you in here for?
The other inmate struggles to get out of his restraints. He bangs the back of his helmet-covered head on the gurney. MUFFLED SHOUTING.
WILBERT
Ohh, sorry.
Nurses rush into the room. The hold him down and inject him in the buttocks. Within seconds he calms down.
NURSE 1
I wonder what set him off?
NURSE 2
Who knows?
NURSE 1
How are you doing today, Wilbert?
WILBERT
Better. Much better. The voices stopped.
NURSE 1
I want to take a look at you blister pack.
Nurse 1 takes Wilbert’s blister back out of a cabinet. Three sheets of medications are secured with a rubber band. She studies each blister pack.
NURSE 1
This is strange. This doesn’t look like any of the medications you’re supposed to be prescribed. This looks like Aspirin, vitamins, and something else. It has your name on it. I don’t understand.
WILBERT
Someone switched them. My medications for someone else’s.
NURSE 1
But why would someone do that?
Wilbert doesn’t answer. He’s fuming. He’s going to get even.
NURSE 1
I’m going to look into it. It’s very concerning. But the good news is you’re free to go back to the dorm this afternoon.
-
Chris Dorsey’s Act 3 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is to continue to focus on big picture turning point, in order to move my story forward and complete my Protagonist’s arc.
1) Make A New Plan: Wilbert is going to open up in individual and group therapy. He is going to make real connections with people by dealing with his own issues.
INT. GROUP ROOM – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: WiLbert opens up in group for the first time.
INMATE SMITH
Why are you even here?
WILBERT
To get honest. To get… real.
INMATE SMITH
Yeah, right. We’re tired of your…
ANOTHER INMATE
Yeah, that’s right. We’re tired of your phony bullshit.
THERAPIST
Give him a chance.
WILBERT
I recently learned I [insert] because I worry about…
Wilbert falters.
THERAPIST
Go on, Wilbert.
WILBERT
When I was ten, both my parents were killed in a car accident, and I was sent to an orphanage. When you guys would tell me about your traumas, I couldn’t hear it because it reminded me of what I went through as a boy. So I… And for that, I’m sorry… I have no business trying to fix people when I need to be fixed.
THERAPIST
Defense mechanism can be a very powerful thing. They can protect you from painful thoughts and memories. But they can also prevent you from living a real life.
Some of the inmates nod their heads in acknowledgement.
WILBERT
My parents always said to be nice to people, no matter what. And when they died…
2) Things Go Well, Until… the Protagonist switches up Wilbert’s antipsychotic medications with Aspirin.
INT. MEDICAL ROOM, MEDICATION ROOM – NIGHT
The Antagonist mops the floor.
An OVERWEIGHT OFFICER sits back in his chair.
ANTAGONIST
Someone just brought in a big box of donuts. They’re on the table in the other room.
OVERWEIGHT OFFICER
I’ll be back in a few. Keep an eye on things for me.
ANTAGONIST
Take your time.
He puts his mop aside and goes snooping. He finds the medication for his dorm. The name on the medication blister pack reads: “Wilbert McNutt.”
He swaps it for another inmates blister pack of aspirin.
ANTAGONIST
Let’s see how long you last off you medications, McNutt.
INT. CAFETERIA – DAY
Wilbert stands on the chow line. He pushes his tray along the [insert].
MALE VOICE
Kill everyone!
Wilbert looks around. Shakes his head to clear his head. The SERVER looks at him. Strange.
INT. PSYCHIATRIST’S OFFICE -DAY
Wilbert sits across from the psychiatrist. Wilbert looks concerned.
PSYCHIATRIST
So what’s going on?
WILBERT
I don’t think my medications are working anymore.
PSYCHIATRIST
I have you on the highest dose possible.
WILBERT
And I’ve been hearing voices again. They’re telling me to do bad things.
PSYCHIATRIST
You know what I think? I think someone’s put you up to this… You are malingering.
WILBERT
What? No. I’m really hearing voices.
PSYCHIATRIST
This reminds me of the time…
INT. CELLBLOCK – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert has a nervous breakdown. He burns his mattress, floods his cell, Has an imaginary weapon [look at my journal], climbs into the rafters calling himself Spider Man, puts a noose around his neck, talks to himself, paranoid, cursing people out, saying weird shit about people. Manic.
-
Chris Dorsey Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is to look for my Protagonist’s transformation to complete his character arc.
INT. WILBERT’S CELL – LATER
Wilbert shifts his way of thinking — it’s told through comedic relationships.
Wilbert sits on his bunk with his head in his hands.
WILBERT
I trusted him and he manipulated him.
WILBERT
You’re the only person in the dorm still talking to me.
CELLMATE
But you’e trying to be everybody’s best friend. You’re not going to survive in here, unless you toughen up. You’re too nice.
WILBERT
How is being too nice a problem?
CELLMATE
I don’t know, but look where it’s gotten you.
WILBERT
If only people played fair, then I wouldn’t have these problems.
CELLMATE
Wilbert, you’re in prison. No one in here plays fair. You have to learn to deal with that, and killing them with kindness isn’t the way. You get me?
-
Chris Dorsey Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned doing this assignment is to continue to focus on the major turning points and to fill in the necessary scenes to lead up to those scenes.
INT. ISOLATION CELLBLOCK, PRISON COURT ROOM – DAY
Wilbert sits in a chair in the court with a Deputy Warden. The Sergeant explains Wilbert’s role in DR Court.
SEARGEANT
Alright, McNutt, all you have to do as a Peer Advocate is sit there and keep your mouth shut.
WILBERT
But what if I have something to say or I have a question?
SEARGEANT
Don’t say it, don’t ask it. This whole Peer Advocate thing is just a formality. Just some bleeding heart from the State Office making sure your rights are protected. We don’t follow it.
WILBERT
Uh, okay?
SEARGEANT
Bring in the first inmate.
Two OFFICERS bring in INMATE JOHNSON (25), shackled.
SEARGEANT
Johnson, you’ve been written up for exposure/exhibition. The female officer wrote, “Inmate Johnson, had his hand down his pants and was moving it back in forth in a rhythmic manner. How do you plead?
INMATE JOHNSON
Not guilty, sir.
SEARGEANT
So, you’re telling me my officer is lying? Come on.
INMATE JOHNSON
I’m not saying that. You see, what happened was a bee flew up my pant leg and up to my genitalia area. Like any normal person would do, I put my hand down my pants and said, “Shoo, bee. Get out of my pants.”
Inmate Johnson gestures with his hands to reenact the event.
INMATE JOHNSON
I can understand how it could look like I was masturbating, but I swear to God I wasn’t doing that.
SERGEANT
Any of you believe this?
The two Officers shake their heads “no”, barely able to contain themselves from bursting into fits of laughter.
The Sergeant looks at Inmate Johnson, who shoots the Sergeant a hopeful look. The Sergeant explodes into fits of laughter.
Inmate Johnson starts laughing.
SERGEANT
Johnson, I give you an “A” for creativity, but an “F” for you behaviors. I am going to find you guilty of —
WILBERT
If I may interject, Sergeant.
SERGEANT
What is it, McNutt?!
WILBERT
I think his explanation of what happened is totally plausible. There are a lot bees outside and some of them get into the dorm. I even got stung the other day. A bee flew up my sleeve and stung me on my arm. See …
Wilbert rolls up his sleeve and shows the Sergeant a red bug bite mark on his arm.
WILBERT
… So I think he could be telling the truth. I’m asking the court to give him the benefit of doubt and find him not guilty today. And if he does it again, you can sentence him isolation with no doubts.
The Sergeant considers for a moment.
SERGEANT
I’m going to go against my better judgment today and find Inmate Johnson not guilty. Officers, take the shackles off and cut him loose.
Inmate Johnson smiles. He can’t believe his luck.
SERGEANT
Officers, bring in the Protagonist.
Six CERT Officers escort the Protagonist from his isolation cell to the courtroom. The Officers plop him down into the seat.
SERGEANT
Protagonist, I just want to make this crystal clear. If you are found guilty today and decide to go ape shit, I have six officers waiting to pounce. Understood.
The Protagonist doesn’t respond.
SERGEANT
This is a pretty straight forward case. Do you have anything to say for yourself.
PROTAGONIST
I’m going to let my Peer Advocate speak for me.
All eyes turn to Wilbert. He stands to address the room.
WILBERT
If it pleases the court —
SERGEANT
It doesn’t.
WILBERT
He was off his mental health medications at the time of this incident. He reported to me he’s been trying very hard to do the right thing, but he missed a number of doses of his medications, which he feels caused him to behave the way he did. And for that, he is remorseful, but he was not in his right state of mind at the time.
SERGEANT
You expect me to believe all that, McNutt?
PROTAGONIST
The nurse refused to give me my medications [insert this SCENE].
WILBERT
He informed me that the nurse’s records will show he hasn’t received his mental health medications for the last two weeks.
And Mental Health Hygiene Law states that the Prison Authority should consider a lesser or nullification of a punitive sentence in these cases.
The Sergeant shakes his head, confused. He SIGHS, defeated.
SERGEANT
You’re two for two today, McNutt. Case dismissed.
INT. CELLBLOCK – LATER
Wilbert returns to the dorm as a hero. The inmates give him a new found level of respect.
-
Chris Dorsey’s Act 2 TP – Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is just get it down on the page. I still have things I need to add to this scene (e.g scene ending). I am still going back to small things, like misspellings, but not as much as I used to. I’m not being too critical of myself though.
INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL – NIGHT
The Antagonist manipulates Wilbert in to fessing up to snitching on the Antagonist. The Antagonist goes berserk and strangles Wilbert almost to death. Wilbert is saved by the other inmates. The Antagonist goes back to “the hole.”
The Antagonist holds up Wilbert’s clinical chart to the whole dorm. The chart contains also his personal information, the fact he ratted-out the Antagonist and how he feels about other inmates in the dorm. Wilbert is taken off guard.
ANTAGONIST
You know, Wilbert, I’ve been thinking about a lot of things. How we met, how yo’ve helped me, and how we’ve become so close. Like brothers.
Wilbert nods his head. He waits to see where this is going.
ANTAGONIST
And that’s why I asked the Captain to make us cellmates.
Wilbert forces a smile.
WILBERT
That’s… great. But maybe we should take a little time to think this through first.
ANTAGONIST
Think it through?! It’s a done deal, roomie. Congratulations!
A tear rolls down Wilbert’s check.
WILBERT
Tears of joy.
ANTAGONIST
I just have one thing to ask you before we make it official.
WILBERT
What’s that?
ANTAGONIST
Why did you rat me out to the screws when you first got here?
The blood drains from Wilbert’s face
WILBERT
Me? Rat you out? Not me.
The Antagonist removes a chart from under his pillow and shows it to Wilbert.
ANTAGONIST
You’re clinical chart.
WILBERT
How…? How…?
ANTAGONIST
Did I get it? I swiped it. What do you think? It has your whole psychiatric history, including your weekly sessions with the psychologist — everything. You said a lot of terrible things about me? What do you think I’m going to do about it.
WILBERT
Kill me?
ANTAGONIST
Eventually, but not now.
WILBERT
Is there any point in me saying I’m sorry; I just wanted the best for everybody?
ANTAGONIST
Nah. I think I a going to share this with the group and see what they think about it.
WILBERT
You can’t!
ANTAGONIST
I can.
The Antagonist pushes past Wilbert and struts to the center of the cellblock. Wilbert reluctantly follows.
ANTAGONIST
All you lazy, sleepy mother-fuckers, get you stupid asses down here now! Get your assess down here. I got something to say!
The Floor Officers look at each other, unsure.
Inmates leave their cells and gather in the center of the cellblock.
The Antagonist jumps up on a table and holds Wilbert’s clinical chart up to the crowd.
ANTAGONIST
What am I holding in my hand? You’re hero’s clinical chart.
Wilbert hangs back. His head’s hung low.
PINKIE
So what? We all have one of those.
ANTAGONIST
But not one like this. Where do I begin.
The Antagonist thumbs through the chart.
ANTAGONIST
Here’s a good place. This part is about you, Pinky. Here’s what [insert] wrote, “Inmate McNutt expressed clear frustration at another inmate he called Pinky (a.k.a. Joseph Lee).
WILBERT
Okay. Yes, I said those things. But it’s just talk. I didn’t mean anything by it. It was just…
PINKY
… Talk. I thought you were my friend, Wilbert. You’re right; I am as stupid as I look.
Pinky turns his back to Wilbert and [walks] back to his cell.
WILBERT
(to Pinky)
Wait…
(softly)
… I’m sorry.
ANTAGONIST
I’m going to pass this around so you can see what he said about all of you.
The Antagonist calls out to the floor officers.
ANTAGONIST
And you bunch are mentioned in there too.
Placeholder: The Antagonist attacks and strangles Wilbert. The only one who comes to his aid is his roommate and eventually, begrudgingly the building officers.
-
Chris Dorsey’s Act 2 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is to stop myself when I get stuck and to remind myself about the rules of the High Speed Writing Process.
Concept — When an innocent man is incarcerated with some of the country’s most dangerous psychopaths, he must rely on/embrace his voices/his mental illness to win his freedom.
Main Conflict — The Antagonist and the system try to shut up, stop, and eventually kill the Protagonist, because the Protagonist is a threat to the prison’s status quo — SURVIVAL.
Old Ways — Avoidant/hiding (hiding his own MH symptoms), super helpful and optimistic, Polly Anna-ish. Connects with others but through his “silver lining” approach.
New Ways — Empathetic/connects to others on a real level, group leader, courageous, fights for the rights of mentally-ill inmates.
THEME (add): Fair and humane treatment of the mentally ill. Good verses evil and the apathetic. Overcoming challenges to heal and/or live with a mental illness; acceptance and healing.
BEAT SHEET
ACT I
INT/EXT. PRISON GATE – DAY
The sign outside reads: “XXX [insert].”
OPENING: A caged bus transports Wilbert McNutt and a dozen inmates through the prison gates. Wilbert, unlike the other inmates, is wearing a straight jacket. He’s also relaxed and smiling. The other inmates keep their distance.
INT. SHOWERS – LATER
Wilbert showers by himself. Another inmate enters and checks him out. Wilbert smiles, uncomfortable, then turns to the side to hide his private parts.
INT. INMATE BARBER SHOP – LATER
Wilbert gets a haircut from the PRISON BARBERS. It’s the worst haircut anyone’s ever gotten. His bangs cut down to the nub, his sides kept longer. The Barbers hand in a mirror to Wilbert and laugh at his reaction. He begrudgingly thanks the Barbers for the haircut.
WILBERT
Uh… Thanks?
INT. LARGE ROOM – LATER
Beginning: Wilbert starts chatting to another new, mental health inmate. The other inmate gives him some tips on how to stay safe and survive prison.
NEW INMATE
…
Middle: Antagonist Beat #1: Meets Wilbert McNutt in intake. The Antagonist stares at another inmate (his new roommate) and other inmate drops dead on the spot — “if looks could kill?” The officers are slow to respond. The officers give in and give the Antagonist a cell of his own.
End: He gets shouted at by the DEPUTY WARDEN for asking too many questions. Wilbert might be responding to a voice in his head. The officer responds, “I wasn’t talking to you, McNutt. And, by the way that has to be the dumbest haircut I’ve ever scene. No wonder you’re here.”
ANTAGONIST
I always get my own cell.
INT. MEDICAL UNIT, EXAMINATION ROOM – DAY
Wilbert undergoes a medical/psychiatric evaluation. He’s on medications to help control his voices. The PSYCHITRIST goes over Wilbert’s mental health and criminal history.
Beginning:
Middle:
End:
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Insert dorm scene where another inmate jumps off the second floor and lands on the ground right in front of Wilbert. ALPHA DOG (aka A-DOG), another building sociopath, seems to somehow be responsible for this.
TE1: Wilbert witnesses the Alpha Dog, and his group, rev-up another mental health inmate before this inmate freaks out. The inmate is cuffed and hauled off by the officers. He realizes that mental health treatment might be the last thing he’s going to receive in this prison.
Antagonist Beat #2: He takes on the current dorm alpha dog and wins. He takes over the dorm businesses and lays down the law to his “workers.”
PLACEHOLDER: Snapshot — “He [the Antagonist] did this at another prison… Stay away from him.”
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert seeks legal advice to have his case appealed.
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert settles into the unit and the routine. The do’s and don’t’s, how it works, and the calm before the storm.
Beginning: Wilbert eats an awful tasting breakfast, but he puts a positive spin on it. “Why do they put all the jackers in the kitchen?” “Jackers?” “Yes…”
Middle: [insert] a funny scene, like DR court or Warden & Deputy Warden rounds.
Middle: His cellmate/sidekick casually tells Wilbert what different people havE been convicted of — “Him over there, he ate a bunch of people… That one over there, he was a cult leader. The feds burnt down his compound, but he managed to escape. Stay away from him, he’ll try to recruit you to his new “religious” discussion group. It gets worse as it goes on. “Like him, what did he do?” He can’t hear you… toothpaste in his ears.
End: Lights out. Wilbert goes to sleep. He sighs to himself; today wasn’t that bad.
INT. CELLBLOCK – NEXT MORNING
PLACEHOLDER: “6:00 AM” appears on the screen. A loud siren wakes Wilbert out of his sleep. He sits up in his bed in shock.
INT./EXT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert witnesses the Antagonist slap around another inmate, PINKY.
Beginning: Wilbert hears some commotion and stops outside the Antagonist’s cell. The Antagonist has PINKY (40) by the collar. He slaps the PINKY across the face.
ANTAGONIST
If you don’t make good, I’m going to rape that ass.
Middle: Wilbert slips away without being seen.
End: Wilbert approaches Pinky later. The inmate asks Wilbert to help him.
PINKY
You have to help me. The Antagonist has it in for me.
WILBERT
But why you?
PINKY
He conned me and now I owe him.
WILBERT
I don’t know.
PINKY
Please…
INT. COUNSELING OFFICE – DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: Wilbert “snitches” to his therapist that the Antagonist is bullying and causing harm to other inmates in the dorm.
Shortly after, the Antagonist gets cuffed and hauled off to the Isolation Unit. He threatens to kill whomever ratted him out. Wilbert reluctantly, and with the help of the voice,
Beginning: Wilbert’s voice talks him into meeting with his Mental Health Counselor.
Middle: Wilbert tells him about what the Antagonist is doing in the dorm; drugs, prostitution, and other misdeeds.
End: The Mental Health Counselor assures Wilbert that this will be investigated and the Antagonist will most likely be transferred to general population at another prison.
PLACEHOLDER: The CAPTAIN investigates the allegations against the Antagonist.
Beginning: He reviews camera footage, but sees nothing. He tells his Lieutenant to investigate further.
Middle: The Captain reviews statements — “He’s a great guy.” “No issues here.” “If I don’t get statements.”
CAPTAIN
Great guy? Unbelievable.
End: The Captain captures something on video that no one else sees.
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
Beginning: The CERT Unit storms the dorm. The Antagonist puts up a fight, takes a couple of hits from the shock shield, but eventually goes down.
Middle: The Antagonist is told to say goodbye for good to all the inmates in the dorm. He’s going to general population at the most dangerous prison in the state — “You’re being transferred to…” The Antagonist’s eyes go wide in fear. His days of taking advantage of others is over.
End: The Antagonist is cuffed and dragged out of the dorm kicking and screaming — “…but I am crazy!” The Antagonist assaults the officers before he is cuffed. The dorm celebrates. Pinky mouths “thank you” to Wilbert. Wilbert smiles back at him.
INT./EXT. ISOLATION CELL – NIGHT
Beginning: The Antagonist paces the cell. He hears a noise outside his cell and sees the nurse giving out pills. He shouts out to the nurse and gets an insult in return.
Middle: He notices someone; the staff Psychiatrist. He calls the “visiting” psychiatrist over and spins a bullshit story to the psychiatrist. He charms, fakes symptoms, and even makes a veiled threat to commit suicide.
End: The Psychiatrist considers for a moment. The Antagonist’s found the right sucker. The Antagonist smiles to himself.
PLACEHOLDER: Instead of being transferred to another prison, the Antagonist manipulates his way back onto the cellblock. An additional 5 years have been added to his time and he is out for blood. Wilbert realizes the system is broken and the guards are in on it.
Turning Point: The Antagonist is released back into the dorm.
INT. CELLBLOCK – MORNING
Beginning: It’s calm in the dorm. Inmates are smiling, drinking coffee, and talking/joking around with each other. Two inmates chase each other playing grab-ass.
Middle: There’s a commotion outside. Smiles disappear from the inmates standing closest to the dorm’s entrance. Jaws drop and they stand in stunned silence shaking there heads.
End: The Antagonist walks back into the cellblock with a triumphant but sinister smile on his face. The rest of the inmates go silent. Wilbert slowly backs into his cell.
ACT II
INT. WILBERT’S CELL – LATER
Wilbert, his cellmate, and Pinky try to figure out what happened between last night and this morning that led to the Antagonist’s release.
WILBERT
I don’t understand. We all heard the Lieutenant say he was going to transfer him to another prison. What the fu — hell, happened?
PINKY
What happens if he finds out it was us who turned him in?
Pinky shrugs his shoulders.
CELLMATE
He found the right sucker and talked his way out of getting transferred. Probably pulled the mental health card.
WILBERT
So now what do we do?
PINKY
I heard they might give him another five years for spitting on the officers. I think he’s really mad.
CELLMATE
(duh)
You think?
End: Wilbert says he caused the problem, so he’ll have to fix it.
WILBERT
I caused the problem, I’ll fix it.
INT. CELLBLOCK – LATER
The Antagonist threatens the rest of the inmates “I’m too smart for all of you. So, don’t try it. And I will figure who ratted me out.”
Beginning: Wilbert
Middle:
End:
INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL – NIGHT
Placeholder: Wilbert is going to win the Antagonist over at any cost. He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness.
Wilbert sheepishly knocks on the Antagonist’s door.
WILBERT
Knock, knock. Can I come in?
ANTAGONIST
You’re smart, I need you to help find out who ratted on me. I probably going to get another five years shoved up my ass.
WILBERT
Sorry.
ANTAGONIST
Sorry? Why are you sorry?
WILBERT
I mean, I’m just sorry that that might happen to you. You don’t deserve that.
ANTAGONIST
Yeah, you’re right. I don’t deserve that. I’ve been watching you getting pretty chummy with these officers.
Wilbert panics.
WILBERT
If I violated some sort of prison code, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.
Antagonist glares at Wilbert
ANTAGONIST
That’s not what I meant. These officers really seem to listen to you. Maybe you’re full of shit and this is some sort of an act, but I think you might be able to help me.
WILBERT
Help you? How?
ANTAGONIST
I want you to stand in as my inmate rep in Disciplinary Court.
WILBERT
Oh… Okay. What would I have to do?
ANTAGONIST
Lie your head off.
WILBERT
I’m not very good at lying —
ANTAGONIST
You better be.
WILBERT
Well, I guess put a positive spin on things.
ANTAGONIST
Yeah, do that. Put a positive spin on things. That’ll work.
Wilbert exits.
PLACEHOLDER: INSERT INT. LAW LIBRARY -DAY
Wilbert does research on mental health and hygiene law. “How in God’s name am I going to defend this guy?” Start at the law library.
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
Place Holder: The Antagonist addresses the dorm. He uses a lighter approach… Maybe?
Middle: Wilbert compliments the Antagonist and hits the Antagonist with his optimistic way of looking at the world.
End: Wilbert agrees to represent the Antagonist to DR court. “If only there was someone smart enough to talk them out of shoving five years up my ass. Wilbert tells the Antagonist he’s going to ask the Deputy Warden if he can be there.
INT. ISOLATION CELLBLOCK, PRISON COURT ROOM – DAY
Wilbert sits in a chair in the court with a Deputy Warden. The Sergeant explains Wilbert’s role in DR Court.
SEARGEANT
Alright, McNutt, all you have to do as a Peer Advocate is sit there and keep your mouth shut.
WILBERT
But what if I have something to say or I have a question?
SEARGEANT
Don’t say it, don’t ask it. This whole Peer Advocate thing is just a formality. Just some bleeding heart from the State Office making sure your rights are protected. We don’t follow it.
WILBERT
Uh, okay?
SEARGEANT
Bring in the first inmate.
Two OFFICERS bring in INMATE JOHNSON (25), shackled.
SEARGEANT
Johnson, you’ve been written up for exposure/exhibition. The female officer wrote, “Inmate Johnson, had his hand down his pants and was moving it back in forth in a rhythmic manner. How do you plead?
INMATE JOHNSON
Not guilty, sir.
SEARGEANT
So, you’re telling me my officer is lying? Come on.
INMATE JOHNSON
I’m not saying that. You see, what happened was a bee flew up my pant leg and up to my genitalia area. Like any normal person would do, I put my hand down my pants and said, “Shoo, bee. Get out of my pants.”
Inmate Johnson gestures with his hands to reenact the event.
INMATE JOHNSON
I can understand how it could look like I was masturbating, but I swear to God I wasn’t doing that.
SERGEANT
Any of you believe this?
The two Officers shake their heads “no”, barely able to contain themselves from bursting into fits of laughter.
The Sergeant looks at Inmate Johnson, who shoots the Sergeant a hopeful look. The Sergeant explodes into fits of laughter.
Inmate Johnson starts laughing.
SERGEANT
Johnson, I give you an “A” for creativity, but an “F” for you behaviors. I am going to find you guilty of —
WILBERT
If I may interject, Sergeant.
SERGEANT
What is it, McNutt?!
WILBERT
I think his explanation of what happened is totally plausible. There are a lot bees outside and some of them get into the dorm. I even got stung the other day. A bee flew up my sleeve and stung me on my arm. See …
Wilbert rolls up his sleeve and shows the Sergeant a red bug bite mark on his arm.
WILBERT
… So I think he could be telling the truth. I’m asking the court to give him the benefit of doubt and find him not guilty today. And if he does it again, you can sentence him isolation with no doubts.
The Sergeant considers for a moment.
SERGEANT
I’m going to go against my better judgment today and find Inmate Johnson not guilty. Officers, take the shackles off and cut him loose.
Inmate Johnson smiles. He can’t believe his luck.
SERGEANT
Officers, bring in the Protagonist.
Six CERT Officers escort the Protagonist from his isolation cell to the courtroom. The Officers plop him down into the seat.
SERGEANT
Protagonist, I just want to make this crystal clear. If you are found guilty today and decide to go ape shit, I have six officers waiting to pounce. Understood.
The Protagonist doesn’t respond.
SERGEANT
This is a pretty straight forward case. Do you have anything to say for yourself.
PROTAGONIST
I’m going to let my Peer Advocate speak for me.
All eyes turn to Wilbert. He stands to address the room.
WILBERT
If it pleases the court —
SERGEANT
It doesn’t.
WILBERT
He was off his mental health medications at the time of this incident. He reported to me he’s been trying very hard to do the right thing, but he missed a number of doses of his medications, which he feels caused him to behave the way he did. And for that, he is remorseful, but he was not in his right state of mind at the time.
SERGEANT
You expect me to believe all that, McNutt?
PROTAGONIST
The nurse refused to give me my medications [insert this].
WILBERT
He informed me that the nurse’s records will show he hasn’t received his mental health medications for the last two weeks.
And Mental Health Hygiene Law states that the Prison Authority should consider a lesser or nullification of a punitive sentence in these cases.
The Sergeant SIGHS, defeated.
SERGEANT
You’re two for two today, McNutt. Case dismissed.
INT. CELLBLOCK – LATER
Wilbert returns to the dorm as a hero. The inmates give him a new found level of respect.
The Antagonist enters the dorm. He goes immediately for Wilbert and gives him a hug. hugs Wilbert. The other inmates give Wilbert new found respect.
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert in therapy and resistant to tackling his issues.
PLACEHOLDER: DR COURT. Wilbert is asked to stand in as a Peer Advocate. “Hey, McNutt, we need…” Bee in the pants — “I think that’s plausible.”
PLACEHOLDER: The mop.
INT. CELLBLOCK, UPPER TIER – NIGHT
Beginning: A jacker with glaucoma tells Wilbert to move because he’s blocking his view.
Middle: Wilbert and his sidekick look around to look for the pretty officer with blond hair. They see no one.
End: It’s a mop.
PLACEHOLDER: Jumper scene.
PLACEHOLDER: Store trip/goods process.
PLACEHOLDER: Tossing cells for contraband.
New plan — Win the Antagonist over at any cost.
Wilbert has to handle/fix this situation himself.
Plan in action — He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness. He’s going to ignore the voices in his head.
Antagonist Beat #3: Investigates/interrogates other inmates to see who ratted him out.
INT. CELLBLOCK – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER — Wilbert uses self-help techniques with the other inmates in his circle.
Antagonist Beat #4: Shuts Wilbert down/argues with during group therapy.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: A therapy session to challenge Wilbert’s defense mechanisms. Wilbert expressed concerns that his medications are keeping him from living a real life.
INT. AUDITORIUM – DAY
The Antagonist requests Wilbert be transferred to his cell.
PLACEHOLDER: The plan fails because he gets pulled into the Antagonist’s lies and can no longer tolerate now being a part of it. The Antagonist is using him just like he is using everyone else.
INT. CELLBLOCK – MORNING
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert stops taking his psychiatric medications and his voices slowly shift from nice and manageable to mean and out of control.
Midpoint Turning Point: The Antagonist tries to kill Wilbert.
INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL — NIGHT
The Antagonist manipulates Wilbert in to fessing up to snitching on the Antagonist. The Antagonist goes berserk and strangles Wilbert almost to death. Wilbert is saved by the other inmates. The Antagonist goes back to “the hole.”
ANTAGONIST
This is very hard for me to admit, but think you’re right. I need to change and become a better person.
WILBERT
I am so glad to hear you say that. I think you’ll love being a nicer person. You really will.
ANTAGONIST
ANTAGONIST
And now, I’m going to kill you.
WILBERT
But — but — but you said this was a safe space.
ANTAGONIST
I lied, you fucking fool….
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert seeks external legal help for protection after this event. He also asks for his case to be appealed.
TE 3: After he stops taking his medications, Wilbert learns his auditory hallucinations may actually help him survive.
TE 4: Wilbert uncovers evidence that could lead to his conviction being overturned in the appeals process.
TE 5: Wilbert gets shanked in the back.
PLACEHOLDER: The voices start telling/making Wilbert do bad things. It gets him some respect but also gets him sent to “the hole.”
Antagonist Beat #5: Manipulates Wilbert, through Wilbert’s auditory hallucinations, to turn on the other inmates.
INT. LAW LIBRARY – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert researches case law for his appeal.
PLACEHOLDER: A newly assigned pro bono attorney responds to one of Wilbert’s letters and meets him in person.
ACT 3:
Antagonist Beat #7: Plots to kill Wilbert by someone else’s hands and to make it look like an accident. Wilbert, by dumb luck alone, escapes these attempts.
Rethink everything — He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.
New plan — Wilbert realizes that the voices in his head (i.e. Auditory hallucinations) are actually there to help him. He embraces the voices and he taps into his bad side.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift — His bad voice takes control and forces him to fail.
INT. VISITATION ROOM – DAY
TE 6: After his friend dies (by suicide or homicide), he discovers that prison staff (i.e. Guards and the Warden) are purposefully putting his life at risk and covering up other crimes/inhumane treatment of inmates.
Antagonist Beat #6: Manipulates the mental health and prison staff to stay in the mental health dorm when others point out that he may not be mentally ill. Bribes others.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY
TE 7: Wilbert has a breakthrough in therapy that helps him discover why he is the way he is — he’s too nice. This is the information he needs for his internal transformation. He learns that he developed a reactionary set of coping mechanisms from loss that no longer suit him.
PLACEHOLDER: He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.
INT. CELBBLOCK – DAY
TE 8: Wilbert verbally calls out the Antagonist in front of the whole cellblock. With more than half of the inmates in the dorm on Wilbert’s side, Wilbert spells out and challenges all of the Antagonists warped ways of thinking and behaviors. The Antagonist challenges Wilbert to a fight to the death.
ACT 4:
CLIMAX: Wilbert fights the Antagonist in mortal combat and beats the Antagonist. He realizes that somewhere in the middle, between overly positive voices and bad voices, is where he should be. He spares the Antagonist’s life. He exposes the corrupt prison system and makes the corruption public (through either a counselor or another outside source).
INT. PRISON YARD – NIGHT
RESOLUTION: Wilbert wins his freedom and does a press conference. With his new found confidence, is able to confront his ex-wife, win his children back, and take control of his life in a real and meaningful way. He starts an organization to help incarcerated inmate with mental health disorders.
EXT. PRISON GROOUNDS – DAY
Wilbert tells his story to the news.
INT. COURT – DAY
Wilbert is granted a divorce and keeps his house. He is granted half-custody of his two children.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Wilbert opens his office and welcomes his new employees; ex-inmates with mental health disorders.
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Chris Dorsey’s Act 2 Reaction to the Turning Point
What I learned doing this assignment is that doing this particular assignment helped me rearrange a few things and add new things to the script.
Concept — When an innocent man is incarcerated with some of the country’s most dangerous psychopaths, he must rely on/embrace his voices/his mental illness to win his freedom.
Main Conflict — The Antagonist and the system try to shut up, stop, and eventually kill the Protagonist, because the Protagonist is a threat to the prison’s status quo — SURVIVAL.
Old Ways — Avoidant/hiding (hiding his own MH symptoms), super helpful and optimistic, Polly Anna-ish. Connects with others but through his “silver lining” approach.
New Ways — Empathetic/connects to others on a real level, group leader, courageous, fights for the rights of mentally-ill inmates.
THEME (add): Fair and humane treatment of the mentally ill. Good verses evil and the apathetic. Overcoming challenges to heal and/or live with a mental illness; acceptance and healing.
BEAT SHEET
ACT I
INT/EXT. PRISON GATE – DAY
The sign outside reads: “XXX [insert].”
OPENING: A caged bus transports Wilbert McNutt and a dozen inmates through the prison gates. Wilbert, unlike the other inmates, is wearing a straight jacket. He’s also relaxed and smiling. The other inmates keep their distance.
INT. SHOWERS – LATER
Wilbert showers by himself. Another inmate enters and checks him out. Wilbert smiles, uncomfortable, then turns to the side to hide his private parts.
INT. INMATE BARBER SHOP – LATER
Wilbert gets a haircut from the PRISON BARBERS. It’s the worst haircut he’s ever gotten. His bangs cut down to the nub, his sides kept longer. The Barbers hand in a mirror to Wilbert and laugh at his reaction. He begrudgingly thanks the Barbers for the haircut.
INT. LARGE ROOM – LATER
Beginning: Wilbert starts chatting to another new, mental health inmate. The other inmate gives him some tips on how to stay safe and survive prison.
Middle: Antagonist Beat #1: Meets Wilbert McNutt in intake. The Antagonist stares at another inmate (his new roommate) and other inmate drops dead on the spot — “if looks could kill?” The officers are slow to respond. The officers give in and give the Antagonist a cell of his own.
End: He gets shouted at by the DEPUTY WARDEN for asking too many questions. Wilbert might be responding to a voice in his head. The officer responds, “I wasn’t talking to you, McNutt. And, by the way that has to be the dumbest haircut I’ve ever scene. No wonder you’re here.”
INT. MEDICAL UNIT, EXAMINATION ROOM – DAY
Wilbert undergoes a medical/psychiatric evaluation. He’s on medications to help control his voices. The PSYCHITRIST goes over Wilbert’s mental health and criminal history.
Beginning:
Middle:
End:
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Insert dorm scene where another inmate jumps off the second floor and lands on the ground right in front of Wilbert. ALPHA DOG (aka A-DOG), another building sociopath, seems to somehow be responsible for this.
TE1: Wilbert witnesses the Alpha Dog, and his group, rev-up another mental health inmate before this inmate freaks out. The inmate is cuffed and hauled off by the officers. He realizes that mental health treatment might be the last thing he’s going to receive in this prison.
Antagonist Beat #2: He takes on the current dorm alpha dog and wins. He takes over the dorm businesses and lays down the law to his “workers.”
PLACEHOLDER: Snapshot — “He [the Antagonist] did this at another prison… Stay away from him.”
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert seeks legal advice to have his case appealed.
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert settles into the unit and the routine. The do’s and don’t’s, how it works, and the calm before the storm.
Beginning: Wilbert eats an awful tasting breakfast, but he puts a positive spin on it. “Why do they put all the jackers in the kitchen?” “Jackers?” “Yes…”
Middle: [insert] a funny scene, like DR court or Warden & Deputy Warden rounds.
Middle: His cellmate/sidekick casually tells Wilbert what different people havE been convicted of — “Him over there, he ate a bunch of people… That one over there, he was a cult leader. The feds burnt down his compound, but he managed to escape. Stay away from him, he’ll try to recruit you to his new “religious” discussion group. It gets worse as it goes on. “Like him, what did he do?” He can’t hear you… toothpaste in his ears.
End: Lights out. Wilbert goes to sleep. He sighs to himself; today wasn’t that bad.
INT. CELLBLOCK – NEXT MORNING
PLACEHOLDER: “6:00 AM” appears on the screen. A loud siren wakes Wilbert out of his sleep. He sits up in his bed in shock.
INT./EXT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert witnesses the Antagonist slap around another inmate.
Beginning: Wilbert hears some commotion and stops outside the Antagonist’s cell. The Antagonist has another inmate by the collar. He slaps the inmate across the face.
Middle: Wilbert slips away without being seen.
End: Wilbert approaches the slapped inmate later. The inmate asks Wilbert to help him.
INT. COUNSELING OFFICE – DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: Wilbert “snitches” to his therapist that the Antagonist is bullying and causing harm to other inmates in the dorm.
Shortly after, the Antagonist gets cuffed and hauled off to the Isolation Unit. He threatens to kill whomever ratted him out. Wilbert reluctantly, and with the help of the voice,
Beginning: Wilbert’s voice talks him into meeting with his Mental Health Counselor.
Middle: Wilbert tells him about what the Antagonist is doing in the dorm; drugs, prostitution, and other misdeeds.
End: The Mental Health Counselor assures Wilbert that this will be investigated and the Antagonist will most likely be transferred to general population at another prison.
PLACEHOLDER: The CAPTAIN investigates the allegations against the Antagonist.
Beginning: He reviews camera footage, but sees nothing. He tells his Lieutenant to investigate further.
Middle: The Captain reviews statements — “He’s a great guy.” “No issues here.” “If I don’t get statements.”
End: The Captain captures something on video that no one else sees.
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
Beginning: The CERT Unit storms the dorm. The Antagonist puts up a fight, takes a couple of hits from the shock shield, but eventually goes down.
Middle: The Antagonist is told to say goodbye for good to all the inmates in the dorm. He’s going to general population at the most dangerous prison in the state — “You’re being transferred to…” The Antagonist’s eyes go wide in fear. His days of taking advantage of others is over.
End: The Antagonist is cuffed and dragged out of the dorm kicking and screaming — “…but I am crazy!” The Antagonist assaults the officers before he is cuffed. The dorm celebrates. The slapped inmate mouths “thank you” to Wilbert. Wilbert smiles back at him.
INT./EXT. ISOLATION CELL – NIGHT
Beginning: The Antagonist paces the cell. He hears a noise outside his cell and sees the nurse giving out pills. He shouts out to the nurse and gets an insult in return.
Middle: He notices someone; the staff Psychiatrist. He calls the “visiting” psychiatrist over and spins a bullshit story to the psychiatrist. He charms, fakes symptoms, and even makes a veiled threat to commit suicide.
End: The Psychiatrist considers for a moment. The Antagonist’s found the right sucker. The Antagonist smiles to himself.
PLACEHOLDER: Instead of being transferred to another prison, the Antagonist manipulates his way back onto the cellblock. An additional 5 years have been added to his time and he is out for blood. Wilbert realizes the system is broken and the guards are in on it.
Turning Point: The Antagonist is released back into the dorm.
INT. CELLBLOCK – MORNING
Beginning: It’s calm in the dorm. Inmates are smiling, drinking coffee, and talking/joking around with each other. Two inmates chase each other playing grab-ass.
Middle: There’s a commotion outside. Smiles disappear from the inmates standing closest to the dorm’s entrance. Jaws drop and they stand in stunned silence shaking there heads.
End: The Antagonist walks back into the cellblock with a triumphant but sinister smile on his face. The rest of the inmates go silent. Wilbert slowly backs into his cell.
ACT II
Placeholder: Wilbert, his cellmate, and the victim of the Protagonist’s slap try to figure out what the hell happened. The victim of the slap has concerns that the Antagonist is going to find out that he and Wilbert causes the Antagonist to almost get transferred.
INT. WILBERT’S CELL – LATER
Beginning: Wilbert, his cellmate, and the victim of the slap try to figure out what happened between last night and this morning that led to the Antagonist’s release.
Middle: The victim of the slap has already heard word that the Antagonist is possibly going to be sentenced to an additional 5 years of prison time for his assaulted on the prison officers the day before.
End: Wilbert says he caused the problem, so he’ll have to fix it.
INT. CELLBLOCK – LATER
The Antagonist threatens the rest of the inmates “I’m too smart for all of you. So, don’t try it. And I will figure who ratted me out.”
Beginning: Wilbert
Middle:
End:
INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL – NIGHT
Placeholder: Wilbert is going to win the Antagonist over at any cost. He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness.
Beginning: Wilbert sheepishly knocks on the Antagonist’s door.
Middle: Wilbert compliments the Antagonist and hits the Antagonist with his optimistic way of looking at the world.
End: Wilbert agrees to represent the Antagonist to DR court. “If only there was someone smart enough to talk them out of shoving five years up my ass. Wilbert tells the Antagonist he’s going to ask the Deputy Warden if he can be there.
INT. PRISON COURT ROOM – DAY
Beginning: Wilbert sits in a chair in the court with a Deputy Warden. The Sergeant explains Wilbert’s role in DR Court.
Middle: Wilbert successfully gets two inmates off from receiving disciplinary sentences. Bee in the pants — “I think that’s plausible.” And contraband case.
End: Officers gather outside the court expecting the Antagonist to go bananas once he’s found guilty and sentenced to an addition five years. Wilbert talks the Warden out of adding an additional five (5) years onto the Antagonist’s time. The Antagonist hugs Wilbert. The other inmates give Wilbert new found respect.
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert in therapy and resistant to tackling his issues.
PLACEHOLDER: DR COURT. Wilbert is asked to stand in as a Peer Advocate. “Hey, McNutt, we need…” Bee in the pants — “I think that’s plausible.”
PLACEHOLDER: The mop.
INT. CELLBLOCK, UPPER TIER – NIGHT
Beginning: A jacker with glaucoma tells Wilbert to move because he’s blocking his view.
Middle: Wilbert and his sidekick look around to look for the pretty officer with blond hair. They see no one.
End: It’s a mop.
PLACEHOLDER: Jumper scene.
PLACEHOLDER: Store trip/goods process.
PLACEHOLDER: Tossing cells for contraband.
New plan — Win the Antagonist over at any cost.
Wilbert has to handle/fix this situation himself.
Plan in action — He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness. He’s going to ignore the voices in his head.
Antagonist Beat #3: Investigates/interrogates other inmates to see who ratted him out.
INT. CELLBLOCK – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER — Wilbert uses self-help techniques with the other inmates in his circle.
Antagonist Beat #4: Shuts Wilbert down/argues with during group therapy.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: A therapy session to challenge Wilbert’s defense mechanisms. Wilbert expressed concerns that his medications are keeping him from living a real life.
INT. AUDITORIUM – DAY
The Antagonist requests Wilbert be transferred to his cell.
INT. CELLBLOCK – MORNING
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert stops taking his psychiatric medications and his voices slowly shift from nice and manageable to mean and out of control.
Midpoint Turning Point: The Antagonist tries to kill Wilbert.
INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL — NIGHT
The Antagonist manipulates Wilbert in to fessing up to snitching on the Antagonist. The Antagonist goes berserk and strangles Wilbert almost to death. Wilbert is saved by the other inmates. The Antagonist goes back to “the hole.”
Wilbert seeks external legal help for protection after this event. He also asks for his case to be appealed.
TE 3: Wilbert stops taking his medications and learns his auditory hallucinations may actually help him survive in prison.
TE 4: Wilbert uncovers evidence that could lead to his conviction being overturned in the appeals process.
TE 5: Wilbert gets shanked in the back.
PLACEHOLDER: The voices start telling/making Wilbert do bad things. It gets him some respect but also gets him sent to “the hole.”
Antagonist Beat #5: Manipulates Wilbert, through Wilbert’s auditory hallucinations, to turn on the other inmates.
INT. LAW LIBRARY – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert researches case law for his appeal.
PLACEHOLDER: A newly assigned pro bono attorney responds to one of Wilbert’s letters and meets him in person.
ACT 3:
Antagonist Beat #7: Plots to kill Wilbert by someone else’s hands and to make it look like an accident. Wilbert, by dumb luck alone, escapes these attempts.
Rethink everything — He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.
New plan — Wilbert realizes that the voices in his head (i.e. Auditory hallucinations) are actually there to help him. He embraces the voices and he taps into his bad side.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift — His bad voice takes control and forces him to fail.
INT. VISITATION ROOM – DAY
TE 6: After his friend dies (by suicide or homicide), he discovers that prison staff (i.e. Guards and the Warden) are purposefully putting his life at risk and covering up other crimes/inhumane treatment of inmates.
Antagonist Beat #6: Manipulates the mental health and prison staff to stay in the mental health dorm when others point out that he may not be mentally ill. Bribes others.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY
TE 7: Wilbert has a breakthrough in therapy that helps him discover why he is the way he is — he’s too nice. This is the information he needs for his internal transformation. He learns that he developed a reactionary set of coping mechanisms from loss that no longer suit him.
PLACEHOLDER: He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.
INT. CELBBLOCK – DAY
TE 8: Wilbert verbally calls out the Antagonist in front of the whole cellblock. With more than half of the inmates in the dorm on Wilbert’s side, Wilbert spells out and challenges all of the Antagonists warped ways of thinking and behaviors. The Antagonist challenges Wilbert to a fight to the death.
ACT 4:
CLIMAX: Wilbert fights the Antagonist in mortal combat and beats the Antagonist. He realizes that somewhere in the middle, between overly positive voices and bad voices, is where he should be. He spares the Antagonist’s life. He exposes the corrupt prison system and makes the corruption public (through either a counselor or another outside source).
INT. PRISON YARD – NIGHT
RESOLUTION: Wilbert wins his freedom and does a press conference. With his new found confidence, is able to confront his ex-wife, win his children back, and take control of his life in a real and meaningful way. He starts an organization to help incarcerated inmate with mental health disorders.
EXT. PRISON GROOUNDS – DAY
Wilbert tells his story to the news.
INT. COURT – DAY
Wilbert is granted a divorce and keeps his house. He is granted half-custody of his two children.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Wilbert opens his office and welcomes his new employees; ex-inmates with mental health disorders.
-
Chris Dorsey’s Finished Act 1
What I learned doing this assignment is how to add lead up and after scenes to the inciting incident and Act 1 Turning Point. I added scene placeholders to show the Protagonist’s world prior to the Act 1 Turning Point.
Concept — When an innocent man is incarcerated with some of the country’s most dangerous psychopaths, he must rely on/embrace his voices/his mental illness to win his freedom.
Main Conflict — The Antagonist and the system try to shut up, stop, and eventually kill the Protagonist, because the Protagonist is a threat to the prison’s status quo — SURVIVAL.
Old Ways — Avoidant/hiding (hiding his own MH symptoms), super helpful and optimistic, Polly Anna-ish. Connects with others but through his “silver lining” approach.
New Ways — Empathetic/connects to others on a real level, group leader, courageous, fights for the rights of mentally-ill inmates.
THEME (add): Fair and humane treatment of the mentally ill. Good verses evil and the apathetic. Overcoming challenges to heal and/or live with a mental illness; acceptance and healing.
BEAT SHEET
ACT I
INT/EXT. PRISON GATE – DAY
The sign outside reads: “XXX [insert].”
OPENING: A caged bus transports Wilbert McNutt and a dozen inmates through the prison gates. Wilbert, unlike the other inmates, is wearing a straight jacket. He’s also relaxed and smiling. The other inmates keep their distance.
INT. SHOWERS – LATER
Wilbert showers by himself. Another inmate enters and checks him out. Wilbert smiles, uncomfortable, then turns to the side to hide his private parts.
INT. INMATE BARBER SHOP – LATER
Wilbert gets a haircut from the PRISON BARBERS. It’s the worst haircut he’s ever gotten. His bangs cut down to the nub, his sides kept longer. The Barbers hand in a mirror to Wilbert and laugh at his reaction. He begrudgingly thanks the Barbers for the haircut.
INT. LARGE ROOM – LATER
Beginning: Wilbert starts chatting to another new, mental health inmate. The other inmate gives him some tips on how to stay safe and survive prison.
Middle: Antagonist Beat #1: Meets Wilbert McNutt in intake. The Antagonist stares at another inmate (his new roommate) and other inmate drops dead on the spot — “if looks could kill?” The officers are slow to respond. The officers give in and give the Antagonist a cell of his own.
End: He gets shouted at by the DEPUTY WARDEN for asking too many questions. Wilbert might be responding to a voice in his head. The officer responds, “I wasn’t talking to you, McNutt. And, by the way that has to be the dumbest haircut I’ve ever scene. No wonder you’re here.”
INT. MEDICAL UNIT, EXAMINATION ROOM – DAY
Wilbert undergoes a medical/psychiatric evaluation. He’s on medications to help control his voices. The PSYCHITRIST goes over Wilbert’s mental health and criminal history.
Beginning:
Middle:
End:
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Insert dorm scene where another inmate jumps off the second floor and lands on the ground right in front of Wilbert. ALPHA DOG (aka A-DOG), another building sociopath, seems to somehow be responsible for this.
TE1: Wilbert witnesses the Alpha Dog, and his group, rev-up another mental health inmate before this inmate freaks out. The inmate is cuffed and hauled off by the officers. He realizes that mental health treatment might be the last thing he’s going to receive in this prison.
Antagonist Beat #2: He takes on the current dorm alpha dog and wins. He takes over the dorm businesses and lays down the law to his “workers.”
PLACEHOLDER: Snapshot — “He [the Antagonist] did this at another prison… Stay away from him.”
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert seeks legal advice to have his case appealed.
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert settles into the unit and the routine. The do’s and don’t’s, how it works, and the calm before the storm.
Beginning: Wilbert eats an awful tasting breakfast, but he puts a positive spin on it. “Why do they put all the jackers in the kitchen?” “Jackers?” “Yes…”
Middle: [insert] a funny scene, like DR court or Warden & Deputy Warden rounds.
Middle: His cellmate/sidekick casually tells Wilbert what different people havE been convicted of — “Him over there, he ate a bunch of people… That one over there, he was a cult leader. The feds burnt down his compound, but he managed to escape. Stay away from him, he’ll try to recruit you to his new “religious” discussion group. It gets worse as it goes on. “Like him, what did he do?” He can’t hear you… toothpaste in his ears.
End: Lights out. Wilbert goes to sleep. He sighs to himself; today wasn’t that bad.
INT. CELLBLOCK – NEXT MORNING
PLACEHOLDER: “6:00 AM” appears on the screen. A loud siren wakes Wilbert out of his sleep. He sits up in his bed in shock.
INT./EXT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert witnesses the Antagonist slap around another inmate.
Beginning: Wilbert hears some commotion and stops outside the Antagonist’s cell. The Antagonist has another inmate by the collar. He slaps the inmate across the face.
Middle: Wilbert slips away without being seen.
End: Wilbert approaches the slapped inmate later. The inmate asks Wilbert to help him.
INT. COUNSELING OFFICE – DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: Wilbert “snitches” to his therapist that the Antagonist is bullying and causing harm to other inmates in the dorm.
Shortly after, the Antagonist gets cuffed and hauled off to the Isolation Unit. He threatens to kill whomever ratted him out. Wilbert reluctantly, and with the help of the voice,
Beginning: Wilbert’s voice talks him into meeting with his Mental Health Counselor.
Middle: Wilbert tells him about what the Antagonist is doing in the dorm; drugs, prostitution, and other misdeeds.
End: The Mental Health Counselor assures Wilbert that this will be investigated and the Antagonist will most likely be transferred to general population at another prison.
PLACEHOLDER: The CAPTAIN investigates the allegations against the Antagonist.
Beginning: He reviews camera footage, but sees nothing. He tells his Lieutenant to investigate further.
Middle: The Captain reviews statements — “He’s a great guy.” “No issues here.” “If I don’t get statements.”
End: The Captain captures something on video that no one else sees.
Turning Point: The Antagonist is cuffed and removed from the building.
Beginning: The CERT Unit storms the dorm. The Antagonist puts up a fight, takes a couple of hits from the shock shield, but eventually goes down.
Middle: The Antagonist is told to say goodbye for good to all the inmates in the dorm. His days of taking advantage of others is over.
End: The Antagonist is cuffed and dragged out of the dorm. The dorm celebrates. The slapped inmate mouths “thank you” to Wilbert. Wilbert smiles back at him.
ACT II
PLACEHOLDER: ADD filler and downtime from the Antagonist.
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert in therapy and resistant to tackling his issues.
PLACEHOLDER: DR COURT. Wilbert is asked to stand in as a Peer Advocate. “Hey, McNutt, we need…” Bee in the pants — “I think that’s plausible.”
PLACEHOLDER: The mop.
INT. CELLBLOCK, UPPER TIER – NIGHT
Beginning: A jacker with glaucoma tells Wilbert to move because he’s blocking his view.
Middle: Wilbert and his sidekick look around to look for the pretty officer with blond hair. They see no one.
End: It’s a mop.
PLACEHOLDER: Jumper scene.
PLACEHOLDER: Store trip/goods process.
PLACEHOLDER: Tossing cells for contraband.
PLACEHOLDER: The Antagonist doing everything he can not to get transferred to general population at a new prison (charms, fakes a suicide attempt, etc.).
PLACEHOLDER: Instead of being transferred to another prison, the Antagonist manipulates his way back onto the cellblock. An additional 5 years have been added to his time and he is out for blood. Wilbert realizes the system is broken and the guards are in on it.
New plan — Win the Antagonist over at any cost.
Wilbert has to handle/fix this situation himself.
Plan in action — He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness. He’s going to ignore the voices in his head.
INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER — Wilbert is going to win the Antagonist over at any cost. He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness.
Antagonist Beat #3: Investigates/interrogates other inmates to see who ratted him out.
INT. CELLBLOCK – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER — Wilbert uses self-help techniques with the other inmates in his circle.
Antagonist Beat #4: Shuts Wilbert down/argues with during group therapy.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: A therapy session to challenge Wilbert’s defense mechanisms. Wilbert expressed concerns that his medications are keeping him from living a real life.
INT. AUDITORIUM – DAY
The Antagonist requests Wilbert be transferred to his cell.
INT. CELLBLOCK – MORNING
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert stops taking his psychiatric medications and his voices slowly shift from nice and manageable to mean and out of control.
Midpoint Turning Point: The Antagonist tries to kill Wilbert.
INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL — NIGHT
The Antagonist manipulates Wilbert in to fessing up to snitching on the Antagonist. The Antagonist goes berserk and strangles Wilbert almost to death. Wilbert is saved by the other inmates. The Antagonist goes back to “the hole.”
Wilbert seeks external legal help for protection after this event. He also asks for his case to be appealed.
TE 3: Wilbert stops taking his medications and learns his auditory hallucinations may actually help him survive in prison.
TE 4: Wilbert uncovers evidence that could lead to his conviction being overturned in the appeals process.
TE 5: Wilbert gets shanked in the back.
PLACEHOLDER: The voices start telling/making Wilbert do bad things. It gets him some respect but also gets him sent to “the hole.”
Antagonist Beat #5: Manipulates Wilbert, through Wilbert’s auditory hallucinations, to turn on the other inmates.
INT. LAW LIBRARY – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert researches case law for his appeal.
PLACEHOLDER: A newly assigned pro bono attorney responds to one of Wilbert’s letters and meets him in person.
ACT 3:
Antagonist Beat #7: Plots to kill Wilbert by someone else’s hands and to make it look like an accident. Wilbert, by dumb luck alone, escapes these attempts.
Rethink everything — He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.
New plan — Wilbert realizes that the voices in his head (i.e. Auditory hallucinations) are actually there to help him. He embraces the voices and he taps into his bad side.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift — His bad voice takes control and forces him to fail.
INT. VISITATION ROOM – DAY
TE 6: After his friend dies (by suicide or homicide), he discovers that prison staff (i.e. Guards and the Warden) are purposefully putting his life at risk and covering up other crimes/inhumane treatment of inmates.
Antagonist Beat #6: Manipulates the mental health and prison staff to stay in the mental health dorm when others point out that he may not be mentally ill. Bribes others.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY
TE 7: Wilbert has a breakthrough in therapy that helps him discover why he is the way he is — he’s too nice. This is the information he needs for his internal transformation. He learns that he developed a reactionary set of coping mechanisms from loss that no longer suit him.
PLACEHOLDER: He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.
INT. CELBBLOCK – DAY
TE 8: Wilbert verbally calls out the Antagonist in front of the whole cellblock. With more than half of the inmates in the dorm on Wilbert’s side, Wilbert spells out and challenges all of the Antagonists warped ways of thinking and behaviors. The Antagonist challenges Wilbert to a fight to the death.
ACT 4:
CLIMAX: Wilbert fights the Antagonist in mortal combat and beats the Antagonist. He realizes that somewhere in the middle, between overly positive voices and bad voices, is where he should be. He spares the Antagonist’s life. He exposes the corrupt prison system and makes the corruption public (through either a counselor or another outside source).
INT. PRISON YARD – NIGHT
RESOLUTION: Wilbert wins his freedom and does a press conference. With his new found confidence, is able to confront his ex-wife, win his children back, and take control of his life in a real and meaningful way. He starts an organization to help incarcerated inmate with mental health disorders.
EXT. PRISON GROOUNDS – DAY
Wilbert tells his story to the news.
INT. COURT – DAY
Wilbert is granted a divorce and keeps his house. He is granted half-custody of his two children.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Wilbert opens his office and welcomes his new employees; ex-inmates with mental health disorders.
-
Chris Dorsey’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is to remind myself to focus on big picture moments while adding to my script’s structure.
Concept — When an innocent man is incarcerated with some of the country’s most dangerous psychopaths, he must rely on/embrace his voices/his mental illness to win his freedom.
Main Conflict — The Antagonist and the system try to shut up, stop, and eventually kill the Protagonist, because the Protagonist is a threat to the prison’s status quo — SURVIVAL.
Old Ways — Avoidant/hiding (hiding his own MH symptoms), super helpful and optimistic, Polly Anna-ish. Connects with others but through his “silver lining” approach.
New Ways — Empathetic/connects to others on a real level, group leader, courageous, fights for the rights of mentally-ill inmates.
THEME (add): Fair and humane treatment of the mentally ill. Good verses evil and the apathetic. Overcoming challenges to heal and/or live with a mental illness; acceptance and healing.
BEAT SHEET
ACT I
INT/EXT. PRISON GATE – DAY
The sign outside reads: “XXX [insert].”
OPENING: A caged bus transports Wilbert McNutt and a dozen inmates through the prison gates. Wilbert, unlike the other inmates, is wearing a straight jacket. He’s also relaxed and smiling. The other inmates keep their distance.
INT. SHOWERS – LATER
Wilbert showers by himself. Another inmate enters and checks him out. Wilbert smiles, uncomfortable, then turns to the side to hide his private parts.
INT. INMATE BARBER SHOP – LATER
Wilbert gets a haircut from the PRISON BARBERS. It’s the worst haircut he’s ever gotten. His bangs cut down to the nub, his sides kept longer. The Barbers hand in a mirror to Wilbert and laugh at his reaction. He begrudgingly thanks the Barbers for the haircut.
INT. LARGE ROOM – LATER
Beginning: Wilbert starts chatting to another new, mental health inmate. The other inmate gives him some tips on how to stay safe and survive prison.
Middle: Antagonist Beat #1: Meets Wilbert McNutt in intake. The Antagonist stares at another inmate (his new roommate) and other inmate drops dead on the spot — “if looks could kill?” The officers are slow to respond. The officers give in and give the Antagonist a cell of his own.
End: He gets shouted at by the DEPUTY WARDEN for asking too many questions. Wilbert might be responding to a voice in his head. The officer responds, “I wasn’t talking to you, McNutt. And, by the way that has to be the dumbest haircut I’ve ever scene. No wonder you’re here.”
INT. MEDICAL UNIT, EXAMINATION ROOM – DAY
Wilbert undergoes a medical/psychiatric evaluation. He’s on medications to help control his voices. The PSYCHITRIST goes over Wilbert’s mental health and criminal history.
Beginning:
Middle:
End:
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Insert dorm scene where another inmate jumps off the second floor and lands on the ground right in front of Wilbert. ALPHA DOG (aka A-DOG), another building sociopath, seems to somehow be responsible for this.
TE1: Wilbert witnesses the Alpha Dog, and his group, rev-up another mental health inmate before this inmate freaks out. The inmate is cuffed and hauled off by the officers. He realizes that mental health treatment might be the last thing he’s going to receive in this prison.
Antagonist Beat #2: He takes on the current dorm alpha dog and wins. He takes over the dorm businesses and lays down the law to his “workers.”
PLACEHOLDER: Snapshot — “He [the Antagonist] did this at another prison… Stay away from him.”
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert seeks legal advice to have his case appealed.
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert settles into the unit and the routine. The do’s and don’t’s, how it works, and the calm before the storm.
Beginning: Wilbert eats an awful tasting breakfast, but he puts a positive spin on it. “Why do they put all the jackers in the kitchen?” “Jackers?” “Yes…”
Middle: [insert] a funny scene, like DR court or Warden & Deputy Warden rounds.
Middle: His cellmate/sidekick casually tells Wilbert what different people havE been convicted of — “Him over there, he ate a bunch of people… That one over there, he was a cult leader. The feds burnt down his compound, but he managed to escape. Stay away from him, he’ll try to recruit you to his new “religious” discussion group. It gets worse as it goes on. “Like him, what did he do?” He can’t hear you… toothpaste in his ears.
End: Lights out. Wilbert goes to sleep. He sighs to himself; today wasn’t that bad.
INT. CELLBLOCK – NEXT MORNING
PLACEHOLDER: “6:00 AM” appears on the screen. A loud siren wakes Wilbert out of his sleep. He sits up in his bed in shock.
INT./EXT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert witnesses the Antagonist slap around another inmate.
Beginning: Wilbert hears some commotion and stops outside the Antagonist’s cell. The Antagonist has another inmate by the collar. He slaps the inmate across the face.
Middle: Wilbert slips away without being seen.
End: Wilbert approaches the slapped inmate later. The inmate asks Wilbert to help him.
INT. COUNSELING OFFICE – DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: Wilbert “snitches” to his therapist that the Antagonist is bullying and causing harm to other inmates in the dorm.
Shortly after, the Antagonist gets cuffed and hauled off to the Isolation Unit. He threatens to kill whomever ratted him out. Wilbert reluctantly, and with the help of the voice,
Beginning: Wilbert’s voice talks him into meeting with his Mental Health Counselor.
Middle: Wilbert tells him about what the Antagonist is doing in the dorm; drugs, prostitution, and other misdeeds.
End: The Mental Health Counselor assures Wilbert that this will be investigated and the Antagonist will most likely be transferred to general population at another prison.
PLACEHOLDER: The CAPTAIN investigates the allegations against the Antagonist.
Beginning: He reviews camera footage, but sees nothing. He tells his Lieutenant to investigate further.
Middle: The Captain reviews statements — “He’s a great guy.” “No issues here.” “If I don’t get statements.”
End: The Captain captures something on video that no one else sees.
Turning Point: The Antagonist is cuffed and removed from the building.
Beginning: The CERT Unit storms the dorm. The Antagonist puts up a fight, takes a couple of hits from the shock shield, but eventually goes down.
Middle: The Antagonist is told to say goodbye for good to all the inmates in the dorm. His days of taking advantage of others is over.
End: The Antagonist is cuffed and dragged out of the dorm. The dorm celebrates. The slapped inmate mouths “thank you” to Wilbert. Wilbert smiles back at him.
ACT II
PLACEHOLDER: ADD filler and downtime from the Antagonist.
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert in therapy and resistant to tackling his issues.
PLACEHOLDER: DR COURT. Wilbert is asked to stand in as a Peer Advocate. “Hey, McNutt, we need…” Bee in the pants — “I think that’s plausible.”
PLACEHOLDER: The mop.
INT. CELLBLOCK, UPPER TIER – NIGHT
Beginning: A jacker with glaucoma tells Wilbert to move because he’s blocking his view.
Middle: Wilbert and his sidekick look around to look for the pretty officer with blond hair. They see no one.
End: It’s a mop.
PLACEHOLDER: Jumper scene.
PLACEHOLDER: Store trip/goods process.
PLACEHOLDER: Tossing cells for contraband.
PLACEHOLDER: The Antagonist doing everything he can not to get transferred to general population at a new prison (charms, fakes a suicide attempt, etc.).
PLACEHOLDER: Instead of being transferred to another prison, the Antagonist manipulates his way back onto the cellblock. An additional 5 years have been added to his time and he is out for blood. Wilbert realizes the system is broken and the guards are in on it.
New plan — Win the Antagonist over at any cost.
Wilbert has to handle/fix this situation himself.
Plan in action — He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness. He’s going to ignore the voices in his head.
INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER — Wilbert is going to win the Antagonist over at any cost. He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness.
Antagonist Beat #3: Investigates/interrogates other inmates to see who ratted him out.
INT. CELLBLOCK – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER — Wilbert uses self-help techniques with the other inmates in his circle.
Antagonist Beat #4: Shuts Wilbert down/argues with during group therapy.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: A therapy session to challenge Wilbert’s defense mechanisms. Wilbert expressed concerns that his medications are keeping him from living a real life.
INT. AUDITORIUM – DAY
The Antagonist requests Wilbert be transferred to his cell.
INT. CELLBLOCK – MORNING
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert stops taking his psychiatric medications and his voices slowly shift from nice and manageable to mean and out of control.
Midpoint Turning Point: The Antagonist tries to kill Wilbert.
INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL — NIGHT
The Antagonist manipulates Wilbert in to fessing up to snitching on the Antagonist. The Antagonist goes berserk and strangles Wilbert almost to death. Wilbert is saved by the other inmates. The Antagonist goes back to “the hole.”
Wilbert seeks external legal help for protection after this event. He also asks for his case to be appealed.
TE 3: Wilbert stops taking his medications and learns his auditory hallucinations may actually help him survive in prison.
TE 4: Wilbert uncovers evidence that could lead to his conviction being overturned in the appeals process.
TE 5: Wilbert gets shanked in the back.
PLACEHOLDER: The voices start telling/making Wilbert do bad things. It gets him some respect but also gets him sent to “the hole.”
Antagonist Beat #5: Manipulates Wilbert, through Wilbert’s auditory hallucinations, to turn on the other inmates.
INT. LAW LIBRARY – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert researches case law for his appeal.
PLACEHOLDER: A newly assigned pro bono attorney responds to one of Wilbert’s letters and meets him in person.
ACT 3:
Antagonist Beat #7: Plots to kill Wilbert by someone else’s hands and to make it look like an accident. Wilbert, by dumb luck alone, escapes these attempts.
Rethink everything — He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.
New plan — Wilbert realizes that the voices in his head (i.e. Auditory hallucinations) are actually there to help him. He embraces the voices and he taps into his bad side.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift — His bad voice takes control and forces him to fail.
INT. VISITATION ROOM – DAY
TE 6: After his friend dies (by suicide or homicide), he discovers that prison staff (i.e. Guards and the Warden) are purposefully putting his life at risk and covering up other crimes/inhumane treatment of inmates.
Antagonist Beat #6: Manipulates the mental health and prison staff to stay in the mental health dorm when others point out that he may not be mentally ill. Bribes others.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY
TE 7: Wilbert has a breakthrough in therapy that helps him discover why he is the way he is — he’s too nice. This is the information he needs for his internal transformation. He learns that he developed a reactionary set of coping mechanisms from loss that no longer suit him.
PLACEHOLDER: He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.
INT. CELBBLOCK – DAY
TE 8: Wilbert verbally calls out the Antagonist in front of the whole cellblock. With more than half of the inmates in the dorm on Wilbert’s side, Wilbert spells out and challenges all of the Antagonists warped ways of thinking and behaviors. The Antagonist challenges Wilbert to a fight to the death.
ACT 4:
CLIMAX: Wilbert fights the Antagonist in mortal combat and beats the Antagonist. He realizes that somewhere in the middle, between overly positive voices and bad voices, is where he should be. He spares the Antagonist’s life. He exposes the corrupt prison system and makes the corruption public (through either a counselor or another outside source).
INT. PRISON YARD – NIGHT
RESOLUTION: Wilbert wins his freedom and does a press conference. With his new found confidence, is able to confront his ex-wife, win his children back, and take control of his life in a real and meaningful way. He starts an organization to help incarcerated inmate with mental health disorders.
EXT. PRISON GROOUNDS – DAY
Wilbert tells his story to the news.
INT. COURT – DAY
Wilbert is granted a divorce and keeps his house. He is granted half-custody of his two children.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Wilbert opens his office and welcomes his new employees; ex-inmates with mental health disorders.
-
Chris Dorsey’s Inciting Incident
What I learned doing this assignment is to trust the process.
Concept — When an innocent man is incarcerated with some of the country’s most dangerous psychopaths, he must rely on/embrace his voices/his mental illness to win his freedom.
Main Conflict — The Antagonist and the system try to shut up, stop, and eventually kill the Protagonist, because the Protagonist is a threat to the prison’s status quo — SURVIVAL.
Old Ways — Avoidant/hiding (hiding his own MH symptoms), super helpful and optimistic, Polly Anna-ish. Connects with others but through his “silver lining” approach.
New Ways — Empathetic/connects to others on a real level, group leader, courageous, fights for the rights of mentally-ill inmates.
THEME (add): Fair and humane treatment of the mentally ill. Good verses evil and the apathetic. Overcoming challenges to heal and/or live with a mental illness; acceptance and healing.
BEAT SHEET
ACT I
INT/EXT. PRISON GATE – DAY
The sign outside reads: “XXX [insert].”
OPENING: A caged bus transports Wilbert McNutt and a dozen inmates through the prison gates. Wilbert, unlike the other inmates, is wearing a straight jacket. He’s also relaxed and smiling. The other inmates keep their distance.
INT. SHOWERS – LATER
Wilbert showers by himself. Another inmate enters and checks him out. Wilbert smiles, uncomfortable, then turns to the side to hide his private parts.
INT. INMATE BARBER SHOP – LATER
Wilbert gets a haircut from the PRISON BARBERS. It’s the worst haircut he’s ever gotten. His bangs cut down to the nub, his sides kept longer. The Barbers hand in a mirror to Wilbert and laugh at his reaction. He begrudgingly thanks the Barbers for the haircut.
INT. LARGE ROOM – LATER
Beginning: Wilbert starts chatting to another new, mental health inmate. The other inmate gives him some tips on how to stay safe and survive prison.
Middle: Antagonist Beat #1: Meets Wilbert McNutt in intake. The Antagonist stares at another inmate (his new roommate) and other inmate drops dead on the spot — “if looks could kill?” The officers are slow to respond. The officers give in and give the Antagonist a cell of his own.
End: He gets shouted at by the DEPUTY WARDEN for asking too many questions. Wilbert might be responding to a voice in his head. The officer responds, “I wasn’t talking to you, McNutt. And, by the way that has to be the dumbest haircut I’ve ever scene. No wonder you’re here.”
INT. MEDICAL UNIT, EXAMINATION ROOM – DAY
Wilbert undergoes a medical/psychiatric evaluation. He’s on medications to help control his voices. The PSYCHITRIST goes over Wilbert’s mental health and criminal history.
Beginning:
Middle:
End:
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Insert dorm scene where another inmate jumps off the second floor and lands on the ground right in front of Wilbert. ALPHA DOG (aka A-DOG), another building sociopath, seems to somehow be responsible for this.
TE1: Wilbert witnesses the Alpha Dog, and his group, rev-up another mental health inmate before this inmate freaks out. The inmate is cuffed and hauled off by the officers. He realizes that mental health treatment might be the last thing he’s going to receive in this prison.
Antagonist Beat #2: He takes on the current dorm alpha dog and wins. He takes over the dorm businesses and lays down the law to his “workers.”
PLACEHOLDER: Snapshot — “He [the Antagonist] did this at another prison… Stay away from him.”
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert seeks legal advice to have his case appealed.
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert settles into the unit and the routine. The do’s and don’t’s, how it works, and the calm before the storm.
Beginning: Wilbert eats an awful tasting breakfast, but he puts a positive spin on it. “Why do they put all the jackers in the kitchen?” “Jackers?” “Yes…”
Middle: [insert] a funny scene, like DR court or Warden & Deputy Warden rounds.
End: Lights out. Wilbert goes to sleep. He sighs to himself; today wasn’t that bad.
INT. CELLBLOCK – NEXT MORNING
PLACEHOLDER: “6:00 AM” appears on the screen. A loud siren wakes Wilbert out of his sleep. He sits up in his bed in shock.
INT./EXT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert witnesses the Antagonist slap around another inmate.
Beginning: Wilbert hears some commotion and stops outside the Antagonist’s cell. The Antagonist has another inmate by the collar. He slaps the inmate across the face.
Middle: Wilbert slips away without being seen.
End: Wilbert approaches the slapped inmate later. The inmate asks Wilbert to help him.
INT. COUNSELING OFFICE – DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: Wilbert “snitches” to his therapist that the Antagonist is bullying and causing harm to other inmates in the dorm.
Shortly after, the Antagonist gets cuffed and hauled off to the Isolation Unit. He threatens to kill whomever ratted him out. Wilbert reluctantly, and with the help of the voice,
Beginning: Wilbert’s voice talks him into meeting with his Mental Health Counselor.
Middle: Wilbert tells him about what the Antagonist is doing in the dorm; drugs, prostitution, and other misdeeds.
End: The Mental Health Counselor assures Wilbert that this will be investigated and the Antagonist will most likely be transferred to general population at another prison.
PLACEHOLDER: The CAPTAIN investigates the allegations against the Antagonist.
Beginning:
Middle:
End: The Antagonist is cuffed and dragged out of the dorm. The dorm celebrates. The slapped inmate mouths “thank you” to Wilbert. Wilbert smiles back at him.
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert in therapy and resistant to tackling his issues.
PLACEHOLDER: The Antagonist doing everything he can not to get transferred to general population at a new prison (charms, fakes a suicide attempt, etc.).
Turning point: Instead of being transferred to another prison, the Antagonist manipulates his way back onto the cellblock. An additional 5 years have been added to his time and he is out for blood. Wilbert realizes the system is broken and the guards are in on it.
ACT II
New plan — Win the Antagonist over at any cost.
Wilbert has to handle/fix this situation himself.
Plan in action — He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness. He’s going to ignore the voices in his head.
INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER — Wilbert is going to win the Antagonist over at any cost. He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness.
Antagonist Beat #3: Investigates/interrogates other inmates to see who ratted him out.
INT. CELLBLOCK – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER — Wilbert uses self-help techniques with the other inmates in his circle.
Antagonist Beat #4: Shuts Wilbert down/argues with during group therapy.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: A therapy session to challenge Wilbert’s defense mechanisms. Wilbert expressed concerns that his medications are keeping him from living a real life.
INT. AUDITORIUM – DAY
The Antagonist requests Wilbert be transferred to his cell.
INT. CELLBLOCK – MORNING
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert stops taking his psychiatric medications and his voices slowly shift from nice and manageable to mean and out of control.
Midpoint Turning Point: The Antagonist tries to kill Wilbert.
INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL — NIGHT
The Antagonist manipulates Wilbert in to fessing up to snitching on the Antagonist. The Antagonist goes berserk and strangles Wilbert almost to death. Wilbert is saved by the other inmates. The Antagonist goes back to “the hole.”
Wilbert seeks external legal help for protection after this event. He also asks for his case to be appealed.
TE 3: Wilbert stops taking his medications and learns his auditory hallucinations may actually help him survive in prison.
TE 4: Wilbert uncovers evidence that could lead to his conviction being overturned in the appeals process.
TE 5: Wilbert gets shanked in the back.
PLACEHOLDER: The voices start telling/making Wilbert do bad things. It gets him some respect but also gets him sent to “the hole.”
Antagonist Beat #5: Manipulates Wilbert, through Wilbert’s auditory hallucinations, to turn on the other inmates.
INT. LAW LIBRARY – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert researches case law for his appeal.
PLACEHOLDER: A newly assigned pro bono attorney responds to one of Wilbert’s letters and meets him in person.
ACT 3:
Antagonist Beat #7: Plots to kill Wilbert by someone else’s hands and to make it look like an accident. Wilbert, by dumb luck alone, escapes these attempts.
Rethink everything — He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.
New plan — Wilbert realizes that the voices in his head (i.e. Auditory hallucinations) are actually there to help him. He embraces the voices and he taps into his bad side.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift — His bad voice takes control and forces him to fail.
INT. VISITATION ROOM – DAY
TE 6: After his friend dies (by suicide or homicide), he discovers that prison staff (i.e. Guards and the Warden) are purposefully putting his life at risk and covering up other crimes/inhumane treatment of inmates.
Antagonist Beat #6: Manipulates the mental health and prison staff to stay in the mental health dorm when others point out that he may not be mentally ill. Bribes others.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY
TE 7: Wilbert has a breakthrough in therapy that helps him discover why he is the way he is — he’s too nice. This is the information he needs for his internal transformation. He learns that he developed a reactionary set of coping mechanisms from loss that no longer suit him.
PLACEHOLDER: He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.
INT. CELBBLOCK – DAY
TE 8: Wilbert verbally calls out the Antagonist in front of the whole cellblock. With more than half of the inmates in the dorm on Wilbert’s side, Wilbert spells out and challenges all of the Antagonists warped ways of thinking and behaviors. The Antagonist challenges Wilbert to a fight to the death.
ACT 4:
CLIMAX: Wilbert fights the Antagonist in mortal combat and beats the Antagonist. He realizes that somewhere in the middle, between overly positive voices and bad voices, is where he should be. He spares the Antagonist’s life. He exposes the corrupt prison system and makes the corruption public (through either a counselor or another outside source).
INT. PRISON YARD – NIGHT
RESOLUTION: Wilbert wins his freedom and does a press conference. With his new found confidence, is able to confront his ex-wife, win his children back, and take control of his life in a real and meaningful way. He starts an organization to help incarcerated inmate with mental health disorders.
EXT. PRISON GROOUNDS – DAY
Wilbert tells his story to the news.
INT. COURT – DAY
Wilbert is granted a divorce and keeps his house. He is granted half-custody of his two children.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Wilbert opens his office and welcomes his new employees; ex-inmates with mental health disorders.
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Chris Dorsey Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is to continue to move forward even if I don’t have all the answers or think a scene might not work.
Concept — When an innocent man is incarcerated with some of the country’s most dangerous psychopaths, he must rely on/embrace his voices/his mental illness to win his freedom.
Main Conflict — The Antagonist and the system try to shut up, stop, and eventually kill the Protagonist, because the Protagonist is a threat to the prison’s status quo — SURVIVAL.
Old Ways — Avoidant/hiding (hiding his own MH symptoms), super helpful and optimistic, Polly Anna-ish. Connects with others but through his “silver lining” approach.
New Ways — Empathetic/connects to others on a real level, group leader, courageous, fights for the rights of mentally-ill inmates.
THEME (add): Fair and humane treatment of the mentally ill. Good verses evil and the apathetic. Overcoming challenges to heal and/or live with a mental illness; acceptance and healing.
BEAT SHEET
ACT I
INT/EXT. PRISON GATE – DAY
The sign outside reads: “XXX [insert].”
OPENING: A caged bus transports Wilbert McNutt and a dozen inmates through the prison gates. Wilbert, unlike the other inmates, is wearing a straight jacket. He’s also relaxed and smiling. The other inmates keep their distance.
INT. SHOWERS – LATER
Wilbert showers by himself. Another inmate enters and checks him out. Wilbert smiles, uncomfortable, then turns to the side to hide his private parts.
INT. INMATE BARBER SHOP – LATER
Wilbert gets a haircut from the PRISON BARBERS. It’s the worst haircut he’s ever gotten. His bangs cut down to the nub, his sides kept longer. The Barbers hand in a mirror to Wilbert and laugh at his reaction. He begrudgingly thanks the Barbers for the haircut.
INT. LARGE ROOM – LATER
Beginning: Wilbert starts chatting to another new, mental health inmate. The other inmate gives him some tips on how to stay safe and survive prison.
Middle: Antagonist Beat #1: Meets Wilbert McNutt in intake. The Antagonist stares at another inmate (his new roommate) and other inmate drops dead on the spot — “if looks could kill?” The officers are slow to respond. The officers give in and give the Antagonist a cell of his own.
End: He gets shouted at by the DEPUTY WARDEN for asking too many questions. Wilbert might be responding to a voice in his head. The officer responds, “I wasn’t talking to you, McNutt. And, by the way that has to be the dumbest haircut I’ve ever scene. No wonder you’re here.”
INT. MEDICAL UNIT, EXAMINATION ROOM – DAY
Wilbert undergoes a medical/psychiatric evaluation. He’s on medications to help control his voices.
Beginning:
Middle:
End:
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Insert dorm scene where another inmate jumps off the second floor and lands on the ground right in front of Wilbert. The Antagonist seems to somehow be responsible for this.
TE1: Wilbert witnesses the Antagonist, and his group, rev-up another mental health inmate before this inmate freaks out. The inmate is cuffed and hauled off by the officers. He realizes that mental health treatment might be the last thing he’s going to receive in this prison.
Antagonist Beat #2: He takes on the current dorm alpha dog and wins. He takes over the dorm businesses and lays down the law to his “workers.”
PLACEHOLDER: Snapshot — “He [the Antagonist] did this at another prison… Stay away from him.”
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert seeks legal to have his case appealed.
INT. COUNSELING OFFICE – DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: Wilbert “snitches” to his therapist that the Antagonist is bullying and causing harm to other inmates in the dorm. Shortly after, the Antagonist gets cuffed and hauled off to the Isolation Unit. He threatens to kill whomever ratted him out.
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert in therapy and resistant to tackling his issues.
PLACEHOLDER: The Antagonist doing everything he can not to get transferred to general population at a new prison (charms, fakes a suicide attempt, etc.).
Turning point: Instead of being transferred to another prison, the Antagonist manipulates his way back onto the cellblock. An additional 5 years have been added to his time and he is out for blood. Wilbert realizes the system is broken and the guards are in on it.
ACT II
New plan — Win the Antagonist over at any cost.
Wilbert has to handle/fix this situation himself.
Plan in action — He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness. He’s going to ignore the voices in his head.
INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER — Wilbert is going to win the Antagonist over at any cost. He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness.
Antagonist Beat #3: Investigates/interrogates other inmates to see who ratted him out.
INT. CELLBLOCK – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER — Wilbert uses self-help techniques with the other inmates in his circle.
Antagonist Beat #4: Shuts Wilbert down/argues with during group therapy.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: A therapy session to challenge Wilbert’s defense mechanisms. Wilbert expressed concerns that his medications are keeping him from living a real life.
INT. AUDITORIUM – DAY
The Antagonist requests Wilbert be transferred to his cell.
INT. CELLBLOCK – MORNING
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert stops taking his psychiatric medications and his voices slowly shift from nice and manageable to mean and out of control.
Midpoint Turning Point: The Antagonist tries to kill Wilbert.
INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL — NIGHT
The Antagonist manipulates Wilbert in to fessing up to snitching on the Antagonist. The Antagonist goes berserk and strangles Wilbert almost to death. Wilbert is saved by the other inmates. The Antagonist goes back to “the hole.”
Wilbert seeks external legal help for protection after this event. He also asks for his case to be appealed.
TE 3: Wilbert stops taking his medications and learns his auditory hallucinations may actually help him survive in prison.
TE 4: Wilbert uncovers evidence that could lead to his conviction being overturned in the appeals process.
TE 5: Wilbert gets shanked in the back.
PLACEHOLDER: The voices start telling/making Wilbert do bad things. It gets him some respect but also gets him sent to “the hole.”
Antagonist Beat #5: Manipulates Wilbert, through Wilbert’s auditory hallucinations, to turn on the other inmates.
INT. LAW LIBRARY – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert researches case law for his appeal.
PLACEHOLDER: A newly assigned pro bono attorney responds to one of Wilbert’s letters and meets him in person.
ACT 3:
Antagonist Beat #7: Plots to kill Wilbert by someone else’s hands and to make it look like an accident. Wilbert, by dumb luck alone, escapes these attempts.
Rethink everything — He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.
New plan — Wilbert realizes that the voices in his head (i.e. Auditory hallucinations) are actually there to help him. He embraces the voices and he taps into his bad side.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift — His bad voice takes control and forces him to fail.
INT. VISITATION ROOM – DAY
TE 6: After his friend dies (by suicide or homicide), he discovers that prison staff (i.e. Guards and the Warden) are purposefully putting his life at risk and covering up other crimes/inhumane treatment of inmates.
Antagonist Beat #6: Manipulates the mental health and prison staff to stay in the mental health dorm when others point out that he may not be mentally ill. Bribes others.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY
TE 7: Wilbert has a breakthrough in therapy that helps him discover why he is the way he is — he’s too nice. This is the information he needs for his internal transformation. He learns that he developed a reactionary set of coping mechanisms from loss that no longer suit him.
PLACEHOLDER: He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.
INT. CELBBLOCK – DAY
TE 8: Wilbert verbally calls out the Antagonist in front of the whole cellblock. With more than half of the inmates in the dorm on Wilbert’s side, Wilbert spells out and challenges all of the Antagonists warped ways of thinking and behaviors. The Antagonist challenges Wilbert to a fight to the death.
ACT 4:
CLIMAX: Wilbert fights the Antagonist in mortal combat and beats the Antagonist. He realizes that somewhere in the middle, between overly positive voices and bad voices, is where he should be. He spares the Antagonist’s life. He exposes the corrupt prison system and makes the corruption public (through either a counselor or another outside source).
INT. PRISON YARD – NIGHT
RESOLUTION: Wilbert wins his freedom and does a press conference. With his new found confidence, is able to confront his ex-wife, win his children back, and take control of his life in a real and meaningful way. He starts an organization to help incarcerated inmate with mental health disorders.
EXT. PRISON GROOUNDS – DAY
Wilbert tells his story to the news.
INT. COURT – DAY
Wilbert is granted a divorce and keeps his house. He is granted half-custody of his two children.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Wilbert opens his office and welcomes his new employees; ex-inmates with mental health disorders.
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Chris Dorsey’s Beat Sheet Draft 2<font face=”inherit”>
</font><font face=”inherit”>What I learned doing this assignment is how </font>important<font face=”inherit”> it is to make sure I build things like </font>story<font face=”inherit”> theme and Antagonist Beats into the story’s framework.</font>
Concept — When an innocent man is incarcerated with some of the country’s most dangerous psychopaths, he must rely on/embrace his voices/his mental illness to win his freedom.
Main Conflict — The Antagonist and the system try to shut up, stop, and eventually kill the Protagonist, because the Protagonist is a threat to the prison’s status quo — SURVIVAL.
Old Ways — Avoidant/hiding (hiding his own MH symptoms), super helpful and optimistic, Polly Anna-ish. Connects with others but through his “silver lining” approach.
New Ways — Empathetic/connects to others on a real level, group leader, courageous, fights for the rights of mentally-ill inmates.
THEME (add): Fair and humane treatment of the mentally ill. Good verses evil and the apathetic. Overcoming challenges to heal and/or live with a mental illness; acceptance and healing.
BEAT SHEET
INT/EXT. PRISON GATE – DAY
ACT I
OPENING: A caged van transport Wilbert (aka Willie) through the prison gates. He’s wearing a straight jacket. The sign outside reads: This takes him to the intake/classification process.
PLACEHOLDER: Insert prison barber scene where he receives the worst haircut in his life — bangs cut down to the nub, sides kept longer.
Antagonist Beat #1: Meets Wilbert McNutt in intake. The Antagonist stares at another inmate (his new roommate) and other inmate drops dead on the spot — “if looks could kill?” The officers are slow to respond.
PLACEHOLDER: Insert medical psychological evaluation scene.
INT. MEDICAL UNIT, EXAMINATION ROOM – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Insert shower scene.
INT. SHOWER – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Insert classification/job assignment scene.
INT. LARGE ROOM – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Insert dorm scene where another inmate jumps off the second floor and lands on the ground right in front of Wilbert. The Antagonist seems to somehow be responsible for this.
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
TE1: Wilbert witnesses the Antagonist, and his group, rev-up another mental health inmate before this inmate freaks out. The inmate is cuffed and hauled off by the officers. He realizes that mental health treatment might be the last thing he’s going to receive in this prison.
Antagonist Beat #2: He takes on the current dorm alpha dog and wins. He takes over the dorm businesses and lays down the law to his “workers.”
PLACEHOLDER: Snapshot — “He [the Antagonist] did this at another prison… Stay away from him.”
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert seeks legal to have his case appealed.
INT. COUNSELING OFFICE – DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: Wilbert “snitches” to his therapist that the Antagonist is bullying and causing harm to other inmates in the dorm. Shortly after, the Antagonist gets cuffed and hauled off to the Isolation Unit. He threatens to kill whomever ratted him out.
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert in therapy and resistant to tackling his issues.
PLACEHOLDER: The Antagonist doing everything he can not to get transferred to general population at a new prison (charms, fakes a suicide attempt, etc.).
Turning point: Instead of being transferred to another prison, the Antagonist manipulates his way back onto the cellblock. An additional 5 years have been added to his time and he is out for blood. Wilbert realizes the system is broken and the guards are in on it.
ACT II
New plan — Win the Antagonist over at any cost.
Wilbert has to handle/fix this situation himself.
Plan in action — He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness. He’s going to ignore the voices in his head.
INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER — Wilbert is going to win the Antagonist over at any cost. He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness.
Antagonist Beat #3: Investigates/interrogates other inmates to see who ratted him out.
INT. CELLBLOCK – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER — Wilbert uses self-help techniques with the other inmates in his circle.
Antagonist Beat #4: Shuts Wilbert down/argues with during group therapy.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: A therapy session to challenge Wilbert’s defense mechanisms. Wilbert expressed concerns that his medications are keeping him from living a real life.
INT. AUDITORIUM – DAY
The Antagonist requests Wilbert be transferred to his cell.
INT. CELLBLOCK – MORNING
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert stops taking his psychiatric medications and his voices slowly shift from nice and manageable to mean and out of control.
Midpoint Turning Point: The Antagonist tries to kill Wilbert.
INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL — NIGHT
The Antagonist manipulates Wilbert in to fessing up to snitching on the Antagonist. The Antagonist goes berserk and strangles Wilbert almost to death. Wilbert is saved by the other inmates. The Antagonist goes back to “the hole.”
Wilbert seeks external legal help for protection after this event. He also asks for his case to be appealed.
TE 3: Wilbert stops taking his medications and learns his auditory hallucinations may actually help him survive in prison.
TE 4: Wilbert uncovers evidence that could lead to his conviction being overturned in the appeals process.
TE 5: Wilbert gets shanked in the back.
PLACEHOLDER: The voices start telling/making Wilbert do bad things. It gets him some respect but also gets him sent to “the hole.”
Antagonist Beat #5: Manipulates Wilbert, through Wilbert’s auditory hallucinations, to turn on the other inmates.
INT. LAW LIBRARY – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert researches case law for his appeal.
PLACEHOLDER: A newly assigned pro bono attorney responds to one of Wilbert’s letters and meets him in person.
ACT 3:
Antagonist Beat #7: Plots to kill Wilbert by someone else’s hands and to make it look like an accident. Wilbert, by dumb luck alone, escapes these attempts.
Rethink everything — He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.
New plan — Wilbert realizes that the voices in his head (i.e. Auditory hallucinations) are actually there to help him. He embraces the voices and he taps into his bad side.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift — His bad voice takes control and forces him to fail.
INT. VISITATION ROOM – DAY
TE 6: After his friend dies (by suicide or homicide), he discovers that prison staff (i.e. Guards and the Warden) are purposefully putting his life at risk and covering up other crimes/inhumane treatment of inmates.
Antagonist Beat #6: Manipulates the mental health and prison staff to stay in the mental health dorm when others point out that he may not be mentally ill. Bribes others.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY
TE 7: Wilbert has a breakthrough in therapy that helps him discover why he is the way he is — he’s too nice. This is the information he needs for his internal transformation. He learns that he developed a reactionary set of coping mechanisms from loss that no longer suit him.
PLACEHOLDER: He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.
INT. CELBBLOCK – DAY
TE 8: Wilbert verbally calls out the Antagonist in front of the whole cellblock. With more than half of the inmates in the dorm on Wilbert’s side, Wilbert spells out and challenges all of the Antagonists warped ways of thinking and behaviors. The Antagonist challenges Wilbert to a fight to the death.
ACT 4:
CLIMAX: Wilbert fights the Antagonist in mortal combat and beats the Antagonist. He realizes that somewhere in the middle, between overly positive voices and bad voices, is where he should be. He spares the Antagonist’s life. He exposes the corrupt prison system and makes the corruption public (through either a counselor or another outside source).
INT. PRISON YARD – NIGHT
RESOLUTION: Wilbert wins his freedom and does a press conference. With his new found confidence, is able to confront his ex-wife, win his children back, and take control of his life in a real and meaningful way. He starts an organization to help incarcerated inmate with mental health disorders.
EXT. PRISON GROOUNDS – DAY
Wilbert tells his story to the news.
INT. COURT – DAY
Wilbert is granted a divorce and keeps his house. He is granted half-custody of his two children.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Wilbert opens his office and welcomes his new employees; ex-inmates with mental health disorders.
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Chris Dorsey’s High Speed Beat Sheet
What I learned doing this assignment that doing this process put a structure in place, which will help me create a first and second draft in 30 days.
BEAT SHEET
INT/EXT. PRISON GATE – DAY
ACT I
OPENING: A caged van transport Wilbert (aka Willie) through the prison gates. He’s wearing a straight jacket. The sign outside reads: This takes him to the intake/classification process.
PLACEHOLDER: Insert prison barber scene where he receives the worst haircut in his life — bangs cut down to the nub, sides kept longer.
PLACEHOLDER: Insert medical psychological evaluation scene.
INT. MEDICAL UNIT, EXAMINATION ROOM – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Insert shower scene.
INT. SHOWER – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Insert classification/job assignment scene.
INT. LARGE ROOM – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Insert dorm scene where another inmate jumps off the second floor and lands on the ground right in front of Wilbert. The Antagonist seems to somehow be responsible for this.
INT. CELLBLOCK – DAY
TE1: Wilbert witnesses the Antagonist, and his group, rev-up another mental health inmate before this inmate freaks out. The inmate is cuffed and hauled off by the officers. He realizes that mental health treatment might be the last thing he’s going to receive in this prison.
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert seeks legal to have his case appealed.
INT. COUNSELING OFFICE – DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: Wilbert “snitches” to his therapist that the Antagonist is bullying and causing harm to other inmates in the dorm. Shortly after, the Antagonist gets cuffed and hauled off to the Isolation Unit. He threatens to kill whomever ratted him out.
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert in therapy and resistant to tackling his issues.
PLACEHOLDER: The Antagonist doing everything he can not to get transferred to general population at a new prison (charms, fakes a suicide attempt, etc.).
Turning point: Instead of being transferred to another prison, the Antagonist manipulates his way back onto the cellblock. An additional 5 years have been added to his time and he is out for blood. Wilbert realizes the system is broken and the guards are in on it.
ACT II
Wilbert has to handle/fix this situation himself.
INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER — Wilbert is going to win the Antagonist over at any cost. He is going to kill the Antagonist with kindness.
INT. CELLBLOCK – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER — Wilbert uses self-help techniques with the other inmates in his circle.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: A therapy session to challenge Wilbert’s defense mechanisms. Wilbert expressed concerns that his medications are keeping him from living a real life.
INT. AUDITORIUM – DAY
The Antagonist requests Wilbert be transferred to his cell.
INT. CELLBLOCK – MORNING
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert stops taking his psychiatric medications and his voices slowly shift from nice and manageable to mean and out of control.
Midpoint Turning Point: The Antagonist tries to kill Wilbert.
INT. ANTAGONIST’S CELL — NIGHT
The Antagonist manipulates Wilbert in to fessing up to snitching on the Antagonist. The Antagonist goes berserk and strangles Wilbert almost to death. Wilbert is saved by the other inmates. The Antagonist goes back to “the hole.”
Wilbert seeks external legal help for protection after this event. He also asks for his case to be appealed.
TE 3: Wilbert stops taking his medications and learns his auditory hallucinations may actually help him survive in prison.
TE 4: Wilbert uncovers evidence that could lead to his conviction being overturned in the appeals process.
TE 5: Wilbert gets shanked in the back.
PLACEHOLDER: The voices start telling/making Wilbert do bad things. It gets him some respect but also gets him sent to “the hole.”
INT. LAW LIBRARY – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Wilbert researches case law for his appeal.
PLACEHOLDER: A newly assigned pro bono attorney responds to one of Wilbert’s letters and meets him in person.
ACT 3:
INT. VISITATION ROOM – DAY
TE 6: After his friend dies (by suicide or homicide), he discovers that prison staff (i.e. guards and the Warden) are purposefully putting his life at risk and covering up other crimes/inhumane treatment of inmates.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE – DAY
TE 7: Wilbert has a breakthrough in therapy that helps him discover why he is the way he is — he’s too nice. This is the information he needs for his internal transformation. He learns that he developed a reactionary set of coping mechanisms from loss that no longer suit him.
PLACEHOLDER: He discovers that acknowledging one’s own pain, instead of being in denial, and “getting real” is the only way he will ever be able to defeat the Antagonist.
INT. CELBBLOCK – DAY
TE 8: Wilbert verbally calls out the Antagonist in front of the whole cellblock. With more than half of the inmates in the dorm on Wilbert’s side, Wilbert spells out and challenges all of the Antagonists warped ways of thinking and behaviors. The Antagonist challenges Wilbert to a fight to the death.
ACT 4:
CLIMAX: Wilbert fights the Antagonist in mortal combat and beats the Antagonist. He realizes that somewhere in the middle, between overly positive voices and bad voices, is where he should be. He spares the Antagonist’s life. He exposes the corrupt prison system and makes the corruption public (through either a counselor or another outside source).
INT. PRISON YARD – NIGHT
RESOLUTION: Wilbert wins his freedom and does a press conference. With his new found confidence, is able to confront his ex-wife, win his children back, and take control of his life in a real and meaningful way. He starts an organization to help incarcerated inmate with mental health disorders.
EXT. PRISON GROOUNDS – DAY
Wilbert tells his story to the news.
INT. COURT – DAY
Wilbert is granted a divorce and keeps his house. He is granted half-custody of his two children.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Wilbert opens his office and welcomes his new employees; ex-inmates with mental health disorders.
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Chris Dorsey’s Transformational Events
What I learned doing this assignment is…
Character Arc — From a fearful, victimized inmate to feared/respected inmate who brings down the prison bully and the system.
Old Ways —
Ignorant of the mental health prison system to his detriment. Lowest of the low. Avoidant/hiding (hiding his own MH symptoms). Super helpful and optimistic, Polly Anna-ish. Connects with others but through his “silver lining” approach.
New Ways —
Expert on the prison mental health system which he can use to his advantage — Top Dog. Empathetic who helps and connects with others on a real level, group leader, courageous, fights for the rights of mentally-ill inmates. Assertive.
2. Make a list of 6 – 8 changes or steps that need to happen for that character to go from who they are in the beginning (Old Ways) to who they are in the ending (New Ways) —
1) Wilbert realizes that mental health treatment might be the last thing he’s going to receive in the prison system after he witnesses how the inmates are treated by staff. After he brings his concerns to prison staff, the building’s top psychopath tries to kill him. Wilbert seeks external legal help for protection after this event. He also asks for his case to be appealed.
2) Wilbert stops taking his medications and learns his auditory hallucinations may actually help him survive in prison.
3) Wilbert uncovers evidence that could lead to his conviction being overturned in the appeals process.
4) Wilbert has a breakthrough in therapy that helps him discover why he is the way he is — he’s too nice. This is the information he needs for his internal transformation. He learns that he developed a reactionary set of coping mechanisms from loss that no longer suit him.
5) After his friend dies (by suicide or homicide), he discovers that prison staff (i.e. guards and the Warden) are purposefully putting his life at risk and covering up other crimes/inhumane treatment of inmates.
6) Wilbert verbally calls out the Antagonist in front of the whole cellblock. With more than half of the inmates in the dorm on Wilbert’s side, Wilbert spells out and challenges all of the Antagonists warped ways of thinking and behaviors. The Antagonist challenges Wilbert to a fight to the death.
7) Wilbert defeats the Antagonist in mortal combat, but Wilbert spares the Antagonist’s life.
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Chris Dorsey’s Character Interviews
What I learned doing this assignment is that going through this process helped me discover more things about my protagonist/antagonist and what additional things I am going to put into the story through the process; i.e. what additional support characters I will need to support the main characters because of what I’ve learned.
QUESTIONS FOR YOUR PROTAGONIST
Tell me about yourself —
1. Why do you think you were called to this journey? Why you? “Bad things always happen to me, but I always rise above them. These things challenge me to stay positive. They force me to face my bigger fears and change.
2. What are you up against? What is it about them that makes this journey even more difficult for you? “He keeps asking and probing what my mental health issues are. He’s invading my privacy. He picks at me. He’s physically threatening. I don’t like the way he treats me and the other people in the unit. That sets me off.”
3. In order to survive or accomplish this, you are going to have to step way outside of your box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them will be the most difficult? “To stand up for myself and stand up for myself (i.e. Polly Anna)… Admit I hear voices.”
4. What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let go of? “Being too open and wearing my heart on my sleeve. I’m overly friendly. I have to stop thinking I must help others and solve their problems; fixing other people’s problems before fixing/helping myself. I’m a type A personality; Johnny-on-the-spot to volunteer to help.”
5. What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back? “Fear of abandonment, feeling left out, my parents death and being put into foster care. I’m not good enough and I don’t deserve…”
6. What skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this conflict or antagonist? “Kindness… I will kill him with kindness and it’s going to drive him nuts.”
7. What are you hiding from the other characters? What don’t you want them to know? “My past — my divorce (wife cheating), children (strained relationship), my mental health issues, past and current… I want people to know that I’m innocent of the crime I’m accused of committing. I’m a good person. I care about others.”
8. What do you think of (?)
9. Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story. “I am just trying to fit in and adjust to my new circumstances. I want to go with the flow, but the antagonist isn’t going to let that happen. I’ve gone through all the steps, like going to the officers, but they aren’t willing or able to do anything about it, because of his own diagnosis and he’s charming. He makes denials to the staff and they believe him. Now he’s plotting against me.”
10. What does it do for your life is you succeed here? “Maybe I can apply this success to other areas of my life; e.g. ex-wife, kids, job, etc. I’ll fight for my freedom. Now I have the confidence. I CAN DO ANYTHING! Self-respect and respect from others.”
11. Ask any other questions about their character profile that will help you. “I’m purposeful. I’m a doer and a problem-solver. I feel racked with guilt if I hurt someone or do something mean. I fight the voices. Sometimes they want me to do bad/mean things to others.
QUESTIONS FOR YOUR ANTAGONIST
Tell me about yourself —
1. Having to do with this journey, what are your strengths and weaknesses? “Me? I have no weaknesses — next question.”
2. Why are you committed to making the Protagonist fail? Or for a relationship movie, why are you committed to making them change? “He snitched on me and I got sent to “the hole.” His sunny disposition makes me want to puke… His face and his smile makes me sick to my stomach. It disgusts me and makes me angry. He’s done and not on my intellectual level.”
3. What do you get out of winning this fight / succeeding in your plan / taking down your competition? “Knowing that I’m right and proving it to everyone. This guy isn’t going to beat me. I’m better than him.”
4. What drives you toward your mission / agenda, even in the face of danger, ruin, or death? “My ego!”
5. What secrets must you keep to succeed? What other secrets do you keep out of fear/insecurity? I worry about losing control over the other inmates, or getting moved out of this special mental health dorm, because I’ll lose my superiority. I am not really mentally-ill. I just pretend to be.”
6. Compared to other people like you, what makes you special? “I’m smarter than everyone else. I can manipulate others in a way that no one would ever be able to think of. It’s a god-given talent.”
7. What do you think of (?) —
8. Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story. “Things were going good until this asshole arrived with his positive attitude and fucked things up for me. Now, people are turning against me. He did this! He’s going to pay and then things will go back to the way they were.”
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Chris Dorsey’s Character Profile Part 2
<font face=”inherit”>What I learned doing this assignment was that examining what makes this the right character for the role helped me create potential story lines as well as additional </font>characters<font face=”inherit”>. </font>
What draws us to this character?
PROTAGONIST — A naive life coach/psychologist who winds up incarcerated in a prison mental health unit.
Age range and Description: Late 30’s. Tall, slightly overweight from years of light activity. Mentally-ill (i.e. hears voices and sees things) but minimizes them. Funny and self-depricating. An empathetic man who wants to help others.
Internal Journey: From avoidant/passive to active participant. From naive to seasoned inmate.
External Journey: Fearful inmate/victim to respected inmate who brings down the prison bully and the system.
Motivation: Prove his innocence after being convicted of a murder he didn’t commit.
Wound: Parents died and he was placed in foster care.
Mission/Agenda: Changing the prison mental health treatment for the better. Prove his innocence and win his freedom.
Secret: Auditory/visual hallucinations. Substance-induced Psychotic Disorder (mistakenly licks a stamp with LSD on it).
What makes them special? His ability to empathize and help his fellow inmates; a positive, upbeat attitude despite his circumstances. His voices have the potential to provide him with insight into others.
Traits: Honest, indirect/passive, selfless, generous, empathetic, compassionate, overly positive.
Subtext: Hiding voices and other mental health symptoms; so, he minimizes, avoids, and deflects.
Flaw: Only sees the good in people and their motives. He can’t accepts bad feelings/thoughts about himself or others.
Values: Fair play, truth, puts others before himself.
Irony: Embracing his voices will change him for the better. He must become his enemy to defeat his enemy. He must do “bad things” to heal.
What makes this the right character for this role? Who better else to explore mental health in the prison system than an honest man with mental health issues?
ANTAGONIST —
Age range and Description: Early 30’s. Wiry and muscular from years of intense exercise. King of the inmates/building bully.
Internal Journey: Mean-spirited, sadistic, psychopath to an inmate who is just a “little bit” nicer at the end of his journey. Starts to develop a little empathy for others.
External Journey: Leader of the cellblock to defeated predator.
Motivation: He enjoys/laughs at other people’s woes and misery.
Wound: Chaotic childhood/abusive childhood without love and intimacy.
Mission/Agenda: Continue to use and abuse the other inmates in the mental health unit.
Secret: Is a predator because he was once the prey.
What makes them special? He has a creative way to make others miserable/dominated and a sick/dark sense of humor. High intelligence used for misdeeds.Traits: Honest, indirect/passive, selfless, generous, empathetic, compassionate, overly positive.
Traits: Vicious, manipulative, domineering, aggressive, selfish, manipulative, superficially charming.
Subtext: Charms and lies to control others and to get his way. He always has an agenda.
Flaw: Likes to hurt others, causes others to suffer emotionally and sometimes physically.
Values: “Me first.”
Irony: [ ]
What makes this the right character for this role? He’s a psychopath with a dark/warped sense of humor. He exhibits the traits of an inmate feigning mental health symptoms to be a big fish in a small pond.
Other Characters —
Supporting characters: The protagonist’s cellmate/guide/sidekick through this new world. sidekick. Core group of other inmates both friend — The Fool/Goofball — and foe. Warden, Deputy Warden, Main Prison Guards, Psychiatrist, Prison Counselor/Confidant. THE VOICE in his head.
Minor roles: Other inmates — The Queen, The Snitch, The Eccentric, The Creep — prison guards, and other prison staff including mental health professionals. External helpers (e.g. attorneys), possibly.
Background characters: Same as minor roles.
Genre: Comedy.
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Chris Dorsey’s Character Profiles Part 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that I am okay not having all the answers now.
Protagonist Role: <font face=”inherit”>Victim. An overly </font>optimistic<font face=”inherit”> </font>but naive life coach w<font face=”inherit”>rongly convicted for murder and incarcerated at a mental health unit for violent criminals. An innocent man fighting the system, other </font>inmates<font face=”inherit”>, and his own </font>mental<font face=”inherit”> health to win his freedom. </font>
Antagonist Role: Predator. A psychopath serving several life sentences for murder and other heinous crimes. The alpha male of the prison who uses violence and intimidation to control others. No empathy with Antisocial/Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Other Characters —
Supporting characters: The protagonist’s cellmate/sidekick. Core group of other inmates both friend and foe. Warden, Deputy Warden, Main Prison Guards, Psychiatrist, Main Prison Counselor/Confidant.
Minor roles: Other inmates, prison guards, and other prison staff including mental health professionals. External helpers (e.g. attorneys), possibly.
Background characters: Same as minor roles.
Genre: Comedy.
Lead Character Profiles —
Role in the story: Protagonist.
Age range and Description: Late 30’s. Tall, slightly overweight from years of light activity. Mentally-ill (i.e. hears voices and sees things) but minimizes them. Funny and self-depricating. An empathetic man who wants to help others.
Internal Journey: From avoidant/passive to active participant. From naive to seasoned inmate.
External Journey: Fearful inmate/victim to respected inmate who brings down the prison bully and the system.
Motivation: Prove his innocence after being convicted of a murder he didn’t commit.
Wound: Parents died and he was placed in foster care.
Mission/Agenda: Changing the prison mental health treatment for the better. Prove his innocence and win his freedom.
Secret: Auditory/visual hallucinations. Substance-induced Psychotic Disorder (mistakenly licks a stamp with LSD on it).
What makes them special? His ability to empathize and help his fellow inmates; a positive, upbeat attitude despite his circumstances. His voices have the potential to provide him with insight into others.
Role in the story: Antagonist.
Age range and Description: Early 30’s. Wiry and muscular from years of intense exercise. King of the inmates/building bully.
Internal Journey: Mean-spirited, sadistic, psychopath to an inmate who is just a “little bit” nicer at the end of his journey. Starts to develop a little empathy for others.
External Journey: Leader of the cellblock to defeated predator.
Motivation: He enjoys/laughs at other people’s woes and misery.
Wound: Chaotic childhood/abusive childhood without love and intimacy.
Mission/Agenda: Continue to use and abuse the other inmates in the mental health unit.
Secret: Is a predator because he was once the prey.
What makes them special? He has a creative way to make others miserable/dominated and a sick/dark sense of humor. High intelligence used for misdeeds.
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Chris Dorsey’s Transformational Journey
What I learned doing this assignment is that going through this process helped me create more character depth and provided me with a better idea of what I want my story to be.
Logline: When an innocent man is incarcerated with some of the country’s most dangerous psychopaths, he must rely on/embrace his voices/his mental illness to win his freedom.
Who is your Hero and what is their Character Arc that represents a transformation?
– Wilbert McNutt (40) is a wrongly-convicted man housed in a facility for the criminally insane.
<font face=”inherit”>Internal Journey: From a naive, frightened man with limited insight into his mental illness to a man who accepts his disorder with </font>confidence<font face=”inherit”> and uses it to take down his enemies and the system. </font>
External Journey: From a new inmate unable to see the bad in people to seasoned inmate who taps into his bad side to win his freedom.<font face=”inherit”>
</font>What are the Old Ways? Avoidant/hiding, low self-esteem, weak, self-deprecating, kind-hearted.
What are the New Ways? Empathetic/connects to others, group leader, courageous, fights for the rights of mentally-ill inmates.
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