Brendan Riley
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2. In this lesson, I learned how to write out and scrutinize my horror outline by working it into a readable format.
1. Using the instructions above, rewrite your Horror Outline.
1. EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET – DAY
Construction trucks sit parked outside a house. The sound of hammering can be heard inside the house.
2. INT. HOUSE / DINING ROOM – DAY
A worker hammers nails into a wall. He is attacked and killed by his co-worker. His radio crackles as the killing takes place.
NOTE: OPENING-SCENE
Horror Situation: The worker is taunted/stalked by the monster.
ANXIETY: a knocking coming from
within the wall
SURPRISE: a pair of eyes
appear, staring out through a hole in the wall
RELEASE: a mouse appears, it
was only a mouse
ANXIETY: the knocking starts
again
FEAR: the knocking grows louder;
a shadow appears on the wall from something behind
PANIC: a hammer comes down on
the worker, and worker turns around to try and defend himself,
ANGUISH: the hammer falls
repeatedly as the worker lies helplessly on the floor, stunned and
realizing his fate3. INT. HOUSE / DINING ROOM – NIGHT
A disorganized family gets ready to have dinner. The mother and daughter of the family arrive late. The father of the family becomes frustrated with a crackling radio and throws it away. An empty highchair sits at the table. The mother leaves the room crying. The son and home caretaker leave together.
4. INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
The daughter and mother talk. The father watches from the corner of the room as the mother and daughter discuss the death of her younger daughter and the father’s alcoholism. The father leaves in a huff, prompting the mother to try and go after him.
5. INT. GROCERY STORE – DAY
The daughter runs into a neighbor at the store. The neighbor tries to convince them to leave before the lockdown.
6. EXT. HOUSE – DAY
The son and caretaker walk along the garden. They discuss how paranoia effects the characters in Macbeth. The mother finds a small stone marker while gardening. She tries to dig it up yet can’t find the bottom of it. She finds a skeleton, which prompts her to go inside and wash her hands. She sees something in the mirror.
Horror Situation: The mother digs up an animal skeleton.
ANXIETY: the mother sees
cryptic runes on a stone marker in the yard
SURPRISE: as she digs, she
finds a skeleton
RELEASE: the skeleton is only
that of a rabbit7. INT. HOUSE / BATHROOM – DAY
The mother washes her hands in the sink. She sees something in the mirror that makes her angry.
8. INT. HOUSE / WORKEROOM – DAY
The mother barges in on the father in his workroom, having a day drink. The two argue.
9. INT. HOUSE / LIBRARY – NIGHT
The caretaker, daughter, and son get the radio working again. They hear that the lockdown will be going into effect tomorrow. The caretaker finds an odd book on the bookshelf. The father interrupts, looking for the mother.
10. INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
The family sits down to have dinner again, this time with the empty chair farther away from the table. The mother has not arrived. The daughter does upstairs and leaves a plate outside the mother’s room next two a few empty plates.
11. EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT
The son is drawing outside and notices one of the shadows of a tree is bent. He follows it, finding his sister along the way. They find that it ends at the stone marker. The mother stumbles up behind them and collapses, hitting her head on the stone marker.
Horror Situation:
SURPRISE: the mother suddenly
appears behind the son and daughter
SHOCK: the mother collapses,
hitting her head on the rockACT II
12. INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
The family sits down to have dinner. Everyone attends and seems a lot happier.
14. INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
The family sits down to have dinner. Everyone attends and seems a lot happier.
15. INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
The family sits down to have dinner. Everyone attends and seems a lot happier.
16. EXT. HOUSE – DAY
The father throws out a full case of beer
17. INT. HOUSE – DAY
The caretaker, son talk as the daughter tries to make calls external to the house. She can’t connect. She looks out the window. The neighborhood is empty.
18. INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
The family sits down to have dinner. Everyone attends and seems a lot happier, though the mother is missing.
19. INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
The daughter goes upstairs after dinner to check on her mother. She finds the bedroom door open, but the bathroom door closed. She hears whispering inside. She opens the door to find her mother staring into the mirror.
Horror Situation:
SUSPENSE: the daughter hears
someone whispering in the bedroom
DREAD: she goes to investigate
RELEASE: it is the radio
playing. She turns it off
SUSPENSE: she can still hear
whispering. It is coming from the bathroom
DREAD: she approaches the door
and calls for her mom
FEAR: she hears a scream. She
opens the door and her mother is staring into the mirror20. INT. HOUSE – DAY
The daughter answers a knock at the door. She tries to convince the rations dealer that they need help. The rations dealer gets aggressive before leaving.
Horror Situation:
SUSPENSE: the rations dealer
places his hand on a gun on his hip
FEAR: the rations dealer points
the gun at the daughter and backs away from the door slowly21. INT. HOUSE – DAY
A week has passed, and the house is mostly empty. The father is in his workroom. The daughter is trying to call out while her brother is drawing. Their mother is staring out a window upstairs.
22. INT. HOUSE – DAY
The caretaker studies the book she found upstairs as well as a few others. The daughter enters the room. They talk about her mother and what might be possessing her.
23. INT. HOUSE / DINING ROOM – NIGHT
The family sits down for dinner. The mother and father get into an argument. It is revealed that the mother believes she can bring her baby daughter back to life. The father gets frustrated at this and smacks his wife across the face. He retreats to his workroom.
24. INT. HOUSE / LIBRARY – NIGHT
The mother and father argue in the room below the library. The caretaker, son, and daughter debate what should be done. The son decides he needs to go get help and leaves. The daughter and caretaker watch as he approaches an officer in the distance. He is shot.
Horror Situation:
DREAD: the son goes out of the
house into the night to find help
SUSPENSE: a guard starts
walking towards him
RELEASE: the son and guard stop
– appear to talk
SUSPENSE: the guard starts backing
away
FEAR: the guard lifts a gun up
and points it at the son
ANGUISH: the guard shoots the
son25. INT. HOUSE – DAY
The mother walks the halls of the house trancelike. She makes herself breakfast. The daughter enters and tries to talk about what happened, but her mother seems completely out of it.
26. INT. HOUSE / WORKROOM – DAY
The caretaker enters the workroom and finds the father barely alive. The mother finds them.
Horror Situation:
ANGUISH: the caretaker find the
father dying
PANIC: the door opens behind
her. It is the mother
HORROR: the caretaker realizes
the mother must have done this27. INT. HOUSE – DAY
The daughter hears a rhythmic muffled hammering noise coming from downstairs. She goes to investigate.
28. INT. HOUSE / WORKROOM – DAY
The daughter finds the workroom with both her father’s and the caretaker’s bodies strewn across the floor.
Horror Situation:
ANGUISH: the daughter finds her
father and the caretaker dead
PANIC: the door behind her
creaks. She turns around
RELEASE: no one is in the door
PANIC: suddenly, mother appears
and takes a swing at her daughter from behind
HORROR: the daughter realizes
her mother must have killed them and runs
HYSTERIA: the daughter runs
screaming and crying through the house29. INT. HOUSE – DAY
The daughter runs up to the foyer and finds the rations delivery person dead.
Horror Situation:
ANGUISH: the daughter finds the
rations delivery person dead
PANIC: the daughter hears her
mother calling to her from behind30. INT. HOUSE / MOTHER’S ROOM – DAY
The daughter retreats into her mother’s room. Her mother starts pounding on the door, then stops. The daughter explores the room for an object to defend herself. She finds the mirror and sees that the glass has been scratched.
31. INT. HOUSE – DAY
The mother explores the house looking for something to burn it down with.
32. INT. HOUSE – DAY
The daughter discovers numerous thigns including a bloody book. She realizes this is the book the caretaker found. As she looks back at the mirror she sees an image of her mother lighting a fire and knows what is happening.
33. INT. HOUSE – DAY
The mother dumps gasoline on the floor. The daughter interrupts her and tries to restrain her. They fight and the mother overpowers her daughter. The daughter stabs her mother.
Horror Situation:
PANIC: the daughter fighter her
mother
ANGUISH: the daughter momentarily
has her mother pinned but can’t bring herself to hurt her
PANIC: the mother regains
advantage
HYSTERIA: the daughter stabs
her mother with a pair of scissors and completely loses it34. INT. HOUSE – DAY
The daughter starts to leave the room and call for help out the front door.
35. INT. HOUSE – DAY
The mother attacks from behind. The daughter flees into the lower level of the house.
36. INT. HOUSE – DAY
The mother pursues her daughter, searching for her.
Horror Situation:
SUSPENSE: the daughter hides in
the workroom
SURPRISE: the mother turns
around and finds the daughter37. INT. HOUSE – DAY
The daughter flees and runs over a pit of rickety wood. The mother tries to follow and plummets to her death.
38. INT. CAR – DAY
The daughter rides in a car with an officer. The officer asks her questions. She grasps a book tightly. As they round a corner, she takes a pair of scissors and stabs the officer.
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3. In this lesson, I learned that scenes are a flow of an emotion arc. That we can keep our audiences hooked by moving them through emotions as scenes progress. That surprise/releases are part of that arc and should be used to build the overall feeling of horror.
1. Use the Scary-As-Hell scene process to create the Horror Map.
A. Opening Scene
B. Anxiety to Anguish – Anxiety, Fear, Panic, Anguish
C. Anxiety: a knocking coming from within the wall, Fear:
the knocking grows louder, a shadow appears on the wall from something
behind, Panic: a hammer comes down on the worker, and worker turns around
to try and defend himself, Anguish: the hammer falls down repeatedly as
the worker lies helplessly on the floor, stunned and realizing his fate
D. Anxiety: a knocking coming
from within the wall, Surprise: a pair of eyes appear, staring out through
a hole in the wall, Release: a mouse appears, it was only a mouse,
Anxiety: the knocking starts again, Fear: the knocking grows louder, a shadow
appears on the wall from something behind, Panic: a hammer comes down on
the worker, and worker turns around to try and defend himself, Anguish: the
hammer falls down repeatedly as the worker lies helplessly on the floor,
stunned and realizing his fate1. Once you have the Horror Map, write the scene.
INT. DINING ROOM – DAY
Worker One taps nails into a wall. As he taps in nails, he becomes aware that the pattern of his tapping is being mimicked. It sounds like it is coming from within the wall.
Worker One tries tapping out a specific pattern with his hammer. He hears the pattern back. This startles him and he looks around the room.
WORKER ONE
…The fuck?
He catches sight of something in the doorway. Two small eyes staring at him, only six feet from his position. He jumps back, bringing his hammer up to his face.
Suddenly, the eyes drop to the floor and scamper towards him. It is a small mouse. He sighs with relief and turns back to his task. As he taps in another nail, the repeat tapping starts again. He looks around and calls out to his work buddy.
WORKER ONE
Jeff, is that you?
The tapping continues now, even without him putting nails in the wall. He lays his hammer down and peers through a hole in the wall.
WORKER ONE
Jeff, what are you doing over there?
Worker One pulls out a flashlight to try and see to the other side. As he does, a shadow covers him, being cast from a figure behind him. He turns, but not in time to stop a hammer from coming down on his head. He screams and falls to the ground.
His flashlight rolls away and casts both his shadow and the shadow of the figure attacking him on the wall in the background. We hear gut-wrenching sounds as Worker One puts his hands up to defend himself, taking blow after blow from the hammer of his attacker.
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1. In this lesson, I learned how to perform tension and release. I realize now how such scenes can help build on normal scenes or lead into much more horrifying moments.
2. Pick a scene from anyplace in your script that could use these three horror moments.
3. Create an OUTLINE of that scene and build in a scare, release, and a creepy moments.
4. Write the scene.
INT. GRANDMA’S ROOM – DAY
Grandma’s room door slowly opens. Grandma watches in the mirror as a face slowly appears. Grandma sees a reflection in the mirror. It is a horrid looking face with messy hair and no eyes. Grandma sucks in a breath and turns, however there is no horrid monster. Only Mother.
Grandma relaxes a moment. However, she stares in confusion as Mother makes the way into the room, skirting the edges and taking in memories from trinkets she remembers from her childhood and occasionally flashing that horrid monster in some of the small mirrored trinkets as she passes. She turns and smiles at Grandma, who is still staring at her in confusion.
MOTHER
What?
Grandma continues to stare, her eyes showing more conviction as she does.
MOTHER
What is it, mother?
Mother moves around the bed to Grandma. As she does, she looks into the window and sees the horrid reflection where she is. Grandma turns around again and sees this as well.
Mother pauses a moment, then smiles and makes her way around behind Grandma. A look of regret comes across her face. Grandma takes out a cross.
GRANDMA
Shot. Stop this.
Mother continues, wheeling Grandma back towards the bed.
GRANDMA
In the name of the God, stop this.
Mother stops and looks down at Grandma. Both wait in silence a moment. Then, Mother grabs a pillow and thrusts it over Grandma’s face. They struggle. Grandma suffocates and Mother sheds a tear despite her face looking stone cold.
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3. In this lesson, I learned about how to bring the emotions to a peak in act 3.
1. Look through your Act 3 scenes and pick one that you would like to write through all four emotions. The most likely candidates will be your climax scenes where the most horror happens.
2. Brainstorm the scene to emphasize the Level 3 emotions and write it.
Older Daughter and Caretaker flee over a dangerous wooden floor. Caretaker props a dying Older Daughter up along the wall as they wait. Mother tries to follow, but she falls through the flooring and dies on a piece of jagged wood. As Mother dies and Caretaker looks on, as Older Daughter breathes a sigh of relief. As Caretaker goes to assist Older Daughter up, Older Daughter stabs Caretaker.
Caretaker and Older Daughter rush down the stairs towards the basement. As they pass the Workroom, they find Son gasping for breath. Older Daughter is confused as to how he is here and tries to help him. As Older Daughter does to dress the wound, she removes Son’s shirt and his guts spill out onto the floor. Horrified she steps back and starts to scream. Caretaker can see nothing. Caretaker tries to shake Older Daughter back to reality.
Suddenly, Mother comes through the doorway with a pair of scissors. She chases Caretaker and Older Daughter around the room. The three frantically run around the room trying to avoid Mother, however Mother manages to trap Older Daughter and stabs her in the neck. Older Daughter runs, scissors still in her neck as Mother and Caretaker pursue.
Older Daughter comes to a rickety floor that covers an unfinished part of the basement. Caretaker catches up. The two looks down between the boards and see what looks like dozens of skeletons in various sensual positions. Mother rounds the corner screaming. Caretaker and Older Daughter move along a rafter under the boards. They make it. Mother does not notice the rafter and runs recklessly over the boards. The boards give way and she falls into a jagged pit of broken wood and discarded metal. It severs her head.
Older Daughter lays against a wall as Caretaker looks into the pit. She confirms that Mother is dead. Older Daughter sobs softly, then dies down. Caretaker goes over to Older Daughter. She tries to assist Older Daughter in getting up. Older Daughter takes the assistance. She plunges the scissors deep into the heart of Caretaker. Caretaker falls. Older Daughter passes out.
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3. In this lesson, I learned the emotions that make act II pop and how to bring them out!
1. Look through your Act 2 scenes and pick one that you would like to write through all three emotions. It very likely will be a scene where some kind of horror action begins.
2. Brainstorm the scene to emphasize the Level 2 emotions and write it.
The family sits down to dinner, suspicion rising over Grandma’s recent death. Husband argues with Mother over Younger Daughter’s constant crying while gripping a knife ever tighter.
HUSBAND
Will you shut her up? She has been crying for days.
MOTHER
Why don’t you shut her up? All you ever do is sit around and complain.
Husband rises from his chair with the knife. The Caretaker steps in.
CARETAKER
Please. Not now. I’ll take care of it.
Husband stands up and starts fixing dinner plates. He mixes some food for Younger Daughter.
Mother looks down at Younger Daughter and realizes Younger Daughter is staring directly at her. Mother turns and thinks, then looks at Husband. Mother considers the food, then looks back at Husband. Husband notices Younger Daughter looking at Mother.
Mother brings the food over and places it in front of each family member. Husband takes his seat. Mother adds something to one of the drinks and hands those out as well. The family starts eating. Older Daughter helps feed Younger Daughter.
Each family member takes sips of their drink. Suddenly, Younger Daughter stops crying and falls asleep. Everyone relaxes. Younger Daughter convulses. Older Daughter steps in to help. Husband looks on in shock. Mother snatches the opportunity.
MOTHER
What did you do to her?
HUSBAND
Excuse me?
The family struggles to help Younger Daughter. Mother steps around to assist Older Daughter. Caretaker tries to assess what is happening.
CARETAKER
What did she eat?
Son looks at the food and considers a moment, then runs to the door.
SON
I am going to go get help.
Older daughter
Are you out of your mind? They have patrols going. You can’t!
Son shakes his head and darts out the door. Caretaker runs up to the door after him while Husband goes to the window, looking between Younger Daughter and Son.
Son approaches a patrol waving his arms. He is shot dead as he does. The whole family hears is. Husband and Caretaker see it.
CARETAKER
What are we going to do?
OLDER DAUGHTER
We can’t…
Older Daughter looks down at the dying Younger Daughter and tries to contemplate what just happened.
Realizing the Younger Daughter always cries when Mother is around, Mother decides to poison Younger Daughter to keep Mother’s secret. Younger Daughter starts foaming at the dinner table and Son goes outside looking for help. PATROL MEMBER panics and shoots Son in full view of the family. The family, including Mother, look on – horrified.
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4. In this lesson, I learned how to easily build in the key emotions “anxiety”, “surprise”, and “shock.” I also learned where those emotions go in a script.
1. Pick a scene that you could write from the first Act of your story.
2. Create an outline of the scene that includes each of these emotions — apprehension/anxiety, surprise, and shock.
3. Write the scene as a first draft.
INT. DININGROOM – DAY
A radio is playing strange sounds over a broadcast of the news.
RADIO
The lockdown is to take effect starting Tuesday night. All residents are required to stay within the bounds of their yard…
A sudden sharp noise comes over the radio and HUSBAND smacks the top of it hard. SON sits at the table eagerly awaiting food as YOUNGER DAUGHTER sits strapped in next to the table. CARETAKER rushes around the table, setting plates down as she does.
HUSBAND
Bullshit! This damn thing never works!
The radio seems to quiet a second and Husband starts to look satisfied. Caretaker looks over while carrying some plates. The radio suddenly screeches and she nearly runs into OLDER DAUGHTER as Older Daughter comes walking into the room on her phone. Younger Daughter starts crying.
OLDER DAUGHTER
Sorry. It’s just the radio. Hey, can I call you back later this evening? It looks like the table is already set and I… Okay, copy that. I’ll call back around 6:30. Thanks.
Older Daughter hangs up her phone and settles at the table. She tries to calm Younger Daughter.
OLDER DAUGHTER
That radio is scary, huh? It’s okay.
Caretaker finishes setting the table and takes her own seat. One seat remains empty as the family begins to chatter.
A few moments later, MOTHER appears looking completely exhausted. Older Daughter looks over at her.
OLDER DAUGHTER
Getting better?
MOTHER
Getting worse.
Mother takes her seat and starts to eat. The chatter is quieted and Caretaker has to restart conversation.
CARETAKER
On the bright side, it sounds like we still have a few days until lockdown begins. Perhaps we can all take a walk tomorrow.
SON
Do you really think they are going to lock things down? I can’t imagine…
The radio suddenly pops loudly and dies out, startling the whole family.
HUSBAND
Son of a BITCH! This fucking radio!
Husband grabs up the radio and throws it into the garbage. Older Daughter looks on.
OLDER DAUGHTER
There goes our connection. You’d think they’d have a better way of updating us on the lockdown than radio broadcasts.
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3. In this lesson I learned how simple it is to take a difficult to read outline and make it readable in scenes.
1. Follow the steps above to create your readable outline.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
INT. DININGROOM – DAY
WORKER ONE toils away at laying new wallpaper in a freshly redone empty room. Worker One fails to notice the radio coming to life as he rolls the wallpaper on. Screams start to emanate from the radio as WORKER TWO, looking very similar to Worker One, approaches in a trancelike state with a hammer in hand. He attacks Worker One with the hammer, hitting him over and over again.
INT. DININGROOM – DAY
A different radio is playing strange sounds as HUSBAND tries to get it to work properly, growing frustrated. SON sits at the table eagerly awaiting food as YOUNGER DAUGHTER sits strapped in next to the table. CARETAKER rushes around the table, setting plates down as she does. Caretaker nearly runs into OLDER DAUGHTER as Older Daughter comes walking into the room on her phone. Older Daughter tries to finish her call. As the family settles and starts to eat, MOTHER finally arrives. The family seems unsurprised as Mother takes her seat and begins eating late. Caretaker asks how things are. Mother seems exhausted.
GRANDMOTHER sits in her room staring out her window and listening to the muffled sounds of the conversation below.
The radio springs back to life with a hiss and Husband slams the top of the device in frustration. He throws it in the garbage, sending Mother into a fit. Caretaker tries to calm the situation while Older Daughter throws up her arms in disbelief. Older Daughter makes a mother for Son to leave the room and grabs Younger Daughter as Husband, Mother, and Caretaker try to settle things.
INT. FOYER – DAY
The Older Daughter hears the doorbell ring. She goes to answer the door it is the NEIGHBOR. Outside, a number of cars are leaving. Neighbor suggests that it might be a good idea to come with them before the lockdown goes into effect and that while being couped up in any house can drive a person nutty, this particular house always seemed particularly chilly. The Older Daughter asks how long they have to make the decision. As Neighbor explains, Mother comes down the stairs and gives a strained smile. Mother explains that there is no possible way they can leave as Grandmother is far to ill. They’ll just have to wait it out. Mother leaves and Older Daughter explains that houses are all basically the same. Their biggest problem is a family in turmoil.
Neighbor tells Older Daughter that they are welcome to move down the street to Neighbor’s house if they need to and hands Older Daughter a key. Neighbor leaves.
Older Daughter walks into the LIVINGROOM and asks Mother if she explained the situation. Mother waves it off and Older Daughter explains to Son, Younger Daughter, Husband, and Caretaker. Caretaker nods resolutely and Son does not believe that the quarantine is real. Husband casts blame on Mother for shooting down the idea of leaving and suggests Mother is the real problem here. Mother leaves and we can hear her upstairs addressing Grandmother.
INT. DINING ROOM – DAY
A few weeks have passed and the family is noticeably stressed. The family can see armed patrols moving about outside.
EXT. HOUSE – DAY
Son notices the tree shadow is bent strangely one day while looking out the window. He catches Older Daughter’s attention and she makes her way outside into the yard. Son follows and they meet with Caretaker on the lawn. They follow the shadow and realize it is pointing to a small marker in the ground. As they approach, Mother comes running out asking what possessed them to go outside with he patrols going around. There are a multitude of dead animals around the marker.
As Mother approaches the market, she faints and hits her head on the rock. Panicking, Older Daughter has Caretaker help her carry Mother inside while directing Son to come inside with them. They rush her to a bed to provide medical assistance.
INT. HOUSE – DAY
Days pass and things at the house have changed. Mother is back on her feet, but mostly stays in her room. Older Daughter is taking care of Grandma now. Grandma is less responsive than ever. Younger Daughter hasn’t stopped crying for days. Son is trying to provide support with Caretaker. Husband has gone back to his workroom and rarely leaves.
INT. DINNING ROOM – NIGHT
During dinner Mother grows frustrated with Younger Daughter crying and blames Older Daughter for not taking care of her. Husband starts arguing with Mother. He grabs her wrist and discovers a mark. Husband is accused of creating mark on Mother by Son and Husband goes to strike Son, but begs off and leaves instead. Mother looks down at the marks and as Caretaker steps in to help, Mother leaves.
Caretaker suddenly leaves as well. Older Daughter tells Son to look after Younger Daughter and follows Caretaker. Older Daughter finds Caretaker in the attic looking at old books. Caretaker is researching the houses history.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
INT. HOUSE – DAY
Older Daughter receives their weekly rations from the ration patrol and closes the door. Son and Caretaker help her to move the food into the kitchen. Everyone is looking very down.
As the food is being stored by Son, Caretaker, and Older Daughter, Mother goes into Grandma’s room for the first time in weeks. Mother seems surprisingly upbeat. Grandma sees a horrid face in the window and turns around to see Mother. Mother notices this and closes the door behind her, gently before locking it. Mother and Grandma talk and Grandma utters some religious words as Mother moves closer. They do nothing. Mother moves around to the bed and snags a pillow. She gets Grandma against a wall and suffocates her, then cries softly and turns Grandma back to the window. Mother leaves and returns to her own room.
Older Daughter, Son, and Caretaker move Grandma into the freezer downstairs to keep her from decomposing. They are distraught. Caretaker explains some of the history of the house. About how it seems to drive people nutty and how only 10 years ago a renovator killer his work partner and then starved to death in the basement. He seemed bound to the house.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
INT. DINNING ROOM – NIGHT
Realizing the Younger Daughter always cries when Mother is around, Mother decides to poison Younger Daughter to keep Mother’s secret. Younger Daughter starts foaming at the dinner table and Son goes outside looking for help. PATROL MEMBER panics and shoots Son in full view of the family. The family, including Mother, look on – horrified.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
INT. WORKROOM – NIGHT
Mother walks into Husband’s workroom as he is having a drink. Husband turns and looks at Mother, nervously. Husband notices something about Mother that tips him off to the fact that she isn’t who she used to be. Husband calls Mother out on it. Husband realizes she must have killed Grandma and appears possessed. Starts to wonder if Mother killed Younger Daughter too. Mother seems taken aback, but leaves. Husband keeps drinking.
INT. BATHROOM – NIGHT
Husband runs himself a bath. Mother sneaks in as Husband drunkenly relaxes in the tub. Mother pushes him under water/drowns him.
INT. DININGROOM – NIGHT
Older Daughter and Caretaker notice Mother walking trancelike and soaked. Caretaker puts together what has happened and tells Older Daughter. Older Daughter and Caretaker discuss what to do, decide that trying to trap Mother is best.
INT. MOTHER’S ROOM – NIGHT
Older Daughter and Caretaker lock Mother’s room door from the outside.
INT. DINNING ROOM – NIGHT
They start plotting how many days until the next ration dump arrives. The SPIRIT unlocks Mother’s door and sets her free in the house. Mother makes her way out and attacks Caretaker and Older Daughter in the dinning room. Caretaker and Older Daughter escape.
INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
Older Daughter and Caretaker move to a second strategy of fleeing from Mother. The workroom has a bolt on the door so they try to make their way to that room. The door is locked – they assume the key must have been taken to Mother’s room.
INT. MOTHER’S ROOM – NIGHT
Older Daughter and Caretaker arrive in Mother’s room. They find pictures of Husband cheating and papers Older Daughter had kept from Mother. They realize the Spirit feeds its victims paranoia. Caretaker presents a book. It has the same symbol that the marker in the yard had. Caretaker believes that destroying the book will destroy the Spirit. Caretaker tries to light it on fire, but the book doesn’t burn. Mother appears. Older Daughter and Caretaker flee into the basement, but not before Mother lands a deep gash on Older Daughter with a pair of scissors.
INT. BASEMENT – NIGHT
Older Daughter and Caretaker flee over a dangerous wooden floor. Caretaker props a dying Older Daughter up along the wall as they wait. Mother tries to follow, but she falls through the flooring and dies on a piece of jagged wood. As Mother dies and Caretaker looks on, as Older Daughter breathes a sigh of relief. As Caretaker goes to assist Older Daughter up, Older Daughter stabs Caretaker.
INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
Older Daughter recounts her story to police. Older Daughter is carrying a book with her and won’t let it go.
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3. In this lesson I learned how to structure my characters in the story. The way a character is structured helps me to show the story I want to
1. With each of your Survivors and Victims, answer the following questions:
Worker One
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Complainer
Traits: Irritable.
Fears: Not getting paid.
Wants/Needs: Wants to finish his job. Needs his
business partner to help more.
Likability / Rooting factors: He’s a hard worker.
How they react under stress: They lash out.
Relationship with other characters: None.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Tapping nails into a wall, complaining
at his partner.
Denial: N/a
Their reaction at first horror: Fight back.
Relation to group after first horror: N/a
How they fight back: Fight with physical violence.
End Point: Is bludgeoned/strangled.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the
others/audience? The spirit inhabits bodies and kills.Worker Two
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Loner
Traits: Quiet. Reserved.
Fears: Not getting paid.
Wants/Needs: Wants to leave town. Needs to keep his
bills paid.
Likability / Rooting factors: He’s a hard worker.
How they react under stress: They listen to music.
Relationship with other characters: None.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Entranced.
Denial: N/a
Their reaction at first horror: N/a.
Relation to group after first horror: N/a
How they fight back: N/a.
End Point: Starves.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the
others/audience? The spirit has a hard time leaving the house.Older Daughter
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Survivor/Leader
Traits: Leader, Strong-willed, Logical
Fears: Being stuck in this town, disorder
Wants/Needs: Wants to be recognized as a leader. Needs
to keep order/control
Likability / Rooting factors: Takes charge. Really
cares about her family.
How they react under stress: Attacks the problem and
tries to understand it.
Relationship with other characters: Cares about them.
Can sometimes push them too hard and ignores feelings.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Walking in on the phone and joining
the table late.
Denial: Spirits don’t exist, just families in turmoil
Their reaction at first horror: Try to understand how
it all fits together logically
Relation to group after first horror: Takes charge.
Fights against disorder.
How they fight back: Strategy.
End Point: “Survives.” Becomes possessed.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the
others/audience? You can’t escape the spirit.Younger Daughter
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Sacrificial Lamb
Traits: Quiet, Well-behaved
Fears: Not being fed
Wants/Needs: Food, sleep
Likability / Rooting factors: A baby
How they react under stress: Cries
Relationship with other characters: Is a babyB. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Sleeping in a crib after dinner.
Denial: N/a
Their reaction at first horror: Cries and never stops
Relation to group after first horror: Becomes a
frustration.
How they fight back: Cries.
End Point: Dies by poison.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the
others/audience? No one is safe. The spirit seems to target those who know
of its existence.Mother
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Carrier
Traits: Fading leader, Frustrated, Paranoid
Fears: Being left alone
Wants/Needs: Wants to remain relevant. Needs the family
around
Likability / Rooting factors: Puts others before
herself. Tries to course correct.
How they react under stress: Goes into fantasy.
Relationship with other characters: Is connected with
all characters, but mostly is involved with her mother’s upkeep. Strained
relationship with husband after his drunk driving incident. Growing
distant from her older daughter.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Coming in to dinner even later than
the older daughter looking exhausted.
Denial: Thinks the things she is seeing is just
exhaustion
Their reaction at first horror: Grow curious about it
Relation to group after first horror: Pacifies.
Accuses.
How they fight back: Violence towards self. Mental
struggle.
End Point: Dies when she falls through the floor.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience?
The spirit can’t be killed.Grandmother
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Introvert
Traits: Quiet. Keeps to self. Reminisces
Fears: Nothing
Wants/Needs: Wants to be left to die. Needs peace.
Likability / Rooting factors: Keeps to herself. Still
smiles at kindness.
How they react under stress: Withdraws.
Relationship with other characters: Has a good
relationship with her daughter and grandchildren. Is wary of her son-in-law.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Looking out a window in her room
Denial: Can’t imagine that the family could ever fall
apart
Their reaction at first horror: Withdraws.
Relation to group after first horror: Distant.
How they fight back: Tries to convince the spirit to
leave/call her daughter back from the spirit. Tries to use religious
symbology.
End Point: Is suffocated under a pillow.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the
others/audience? The spirit does not respond to external stimuli.Son
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Innocent
Traits: Brave, Dreamer, High trust
Fears: The safety of his family
Wants/Needs: Wants to impress the caretaker. Needs to
keep his family safe.
Likability / Rooting factors: Generous. Dreamer. Kind.
How they react under stress: Takes action, although
sometimes recklessly
Relationship with other characters: Well liked,
although he annoys his older sister with his over trusting natureB. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: At the dinner table telling stories
and trying to make eye contact with the caretaker
Denial: Believes the world can’t be all that
bad/doesn’t think it’s a true lockdown
Their reaction at first horror: Double down and try to
do things to help
Relation to group after first horror: Becomes
argumentative.
How they fight back: Tries to run to find help.
End Point: Dies when shot by a cop.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the
others/audience? The lockdown is real.Husband
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Red Herring
Traits: Drunk, pushy, loud, stubborn
Fears: Hurting those he cares about. Losing his wife.
Being 2<sup>nd</sup> best.
Wants/Needs: Wants to heal his relationships. Needs alcohol.
Likability / Rooting factors: Does have a few moments
of kindness.
How they react under stress: Drinks
Relationship with other characters: Strained based on
past alcoholism. Has lost trust.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Frustrated and trying to keep the
radio in check
Denial: Thinks his wife is causing the problems by
trying to hold onto things she needs to let go of
Their reaction at first horror: Start turning back to
drinking, withdraw, act suspicious
Relation to group after first horror: Incites fear. Intimidates.
How they fight back: Calls out his wife/the spirit in
his wife.
End Point: Is drown in a bathtub.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the
others/audience? The spirit kills those who realize it exists.Caretaker
A. What is their Character Profile?
Role: Moral One
Traits: Genuine, wise, understanding, forgiving
Fears: Not being able to help
Wants/Needs: Wants to help. Needs to find an answer.
Likability / Rooting factors: Is always around to
provide counsel.
How they react under stress: Calmly, though can be
pushed over an edge.
Relationship with other characters: Distant but well-liked
by everyone.B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Helping to set the table
Denial: Believes the family is too strong to give into
a spirit or a lockdown
Their reaction at first horror: Support the older
daughter and consider how to fight the evil
Relation to group after first horror: Unifies. Becomes
supportive.
How they fight back: Tries to learn about it/trap it.
End Point: Is stabbed to death.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the
others/audience? The spirit must have jumped.2. Build those Character Journeys into your outline.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established: We
see a radio crackle to life as a song begins to play over the muffle
sounds of screams growing louder. Suddenly, we hear a large thud and a
hand fall into view – twitching as though the owner has just suffered
massive head trauma.o Horror Situation: The worker’s partner turns on him and attacks him with a hammer
o Response – Fight: Worker tries to fight back. Dies
Worker:
Why: He figured out his work partner was possessed
How: Bludgeoned to death with a hammer by work
partnerMonster Reveal: Can force a re-animated body to kill
INTRO – Worker One – Tapping nails into a wall,
complaining at his partner.
INTRO – Worker Two – Entranced.
FIGHT – Worker One – Fight with physical violence
END – Worker One – Is bludgeoned/strangled
INSIGHT – Worker One – The spirit inhabits bodies and
killsConnect with the characters: The
family sits down for a midday lunch while listening to the radioo Horror Situation: The radio keeps playing strange sounds and music that wasn’t selected
o Response – Denial: The family decides the radio is just old and throws it out
o Monster Reveal: Can be picked up on radio
INTRO – Older Daughter – Walking in on the phone and joining
the table late.
INTRO – Younger Daughter – Sleeping in a crib after
dinner.
INTRO – Mother – Coming in to dinner even later than
the older daughter looking exhausted.
INTRO – Grandmother – Looking out a window in her room.
INTRO – Husband – Frustrated and trying to keep the
radio in check.
INTRO – Caretaker – Helping to set the table.The characters are warned not to do it: A neighbor comes to the door as people are evacuating,
suggesting the family not stay here over the lockdown. And that at the
very least they move over to their house where it is brighter and the air
is less “chilly.”
Denial of Horror: Unable
to reliably move grandma and all the medical supplies she needs to have
with her, the family decides to stay. They cast off concerns that the
house is “chilly.” Plus, they don’t believe the lockdown will last very
long or be enforced.Monster Reveal: Has the power to show people what they
fear to see (the mother sees the neighbor eyeing her husband during the
conversation)
DENIAL – Older Daughter – Spirits don’t exist, just
families in turmoil
DENIAL – Younger Daughter – N/a
DENIAL – Mother – Thinks the things she is seeing is
just exhaustion
DENIAL – Grandmother – Can’t imagine that the family
could ever fall apart
DENIAL – Son – Believes the world can’t be all that
bad/doesn’t think it’s a true lockdown
DENIAL – Husband – Thinks his wife is causing the
problems by trying to hold onto things she needs to let go of
DENIAL – Caretaker – Believes the family is too strong
to give into a spirit or a lockdownSafety taken away: There
does end up being a lockdown enforcement patrol that prevents people from
leaving their houses.o Horror Situation: The family realizes that they are really locked down
o Response – Denial: The family believes there will always be an exception – it will be fine
Monster – The nature of the beast: One day when looking out at the tree in the front yard,
it becomes apparent that the shadow cast by the tree is far longer than
the sunlight would create. Upon finding the end of the shadow, they find a
small concrete marker in the yard with a dead rabbit laying just before
it. Mother Faints, hitting her head on the rock.o Horror Situation: The shadow of the tree seems to extend past a reasonable length and leads to a small marker
o Response – Try to solve it: The oldest daughter tries to understand what is causing the discrepancy
o Horror Situation: Dead animals start showing up in the yard
o Response – Denial: The family believes it must have been a fox
o Horror Situation: Mother hits her head and “dies”
o Response – Try to solve it: Takes mother inside and tries to nurse her back
Mother:
Why: She needs to “die” for the monster to take hold
How: She faints in the presence of the monster and
hits her head on a rockMonster Reveal: Cannot go far beyond the book without
a host
Monster Reveal: Cannot inhabit the living/inhabits the
dead
REACTION – Older Daughter – Try to understand how it
all fits together logically
REACTION – Younger Daughter – Cries and never stops
REACTION – Mother – Grow curious about it
REACTION – Grandmother – Withdraws
REACTION – Son – Double down and try to do things to
help
REACTION – Husband – Start turning back to drinking,
withdraw, act suspicious
REACTION – Caretaker – Support the older daughter and consider
how to fight the evilRELATION – Older Daughter – Takes charge. Fights
against disorder
RELATION – Younger Daughter – Becomes a frustration
RELATION – Mother – Pacifies. Accuses
RELATION – Grandmother – Distant
RELATION – Son – Becomes argumentative
RELATION – Husband – Incites fear. Intimidates
RELATION – Caretaker – Unifies. Becomes supportiveFIGHT – Younger Daughter – Cries
FIGHT – Mother – Violence towards self. Mental
struggle
FIGHT – Caretaker – Tries to learn about it/trap itACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The
lockdown goes on for weeks, with ration patrols being the only way to
receive more food or outside contact.
One of us killed: Grandma
dies, though the circumstances are suspiciouso Horror Situation: Grandma dies a strange and painful sudden death
o Response – Denial: The family can’t possibly believe it is anything other than just her old age
Grandmother:
Why: She figures out that mother is possessed when
looking at her reflection in the mirror
How: Asphyxiation by way of her face being covered
with a pillow by motherMonster Reveal: Lives in a book inside the house
(discovered in home library)
Monster Reveal: Cannot lie (nothing grandma sees is
bad enough to make her unhappy)
Monster Reveal: Can be seen in windows
FIGHT – Grandmother – Tries to convince the spirit to
leave/call her daughter back from the spirit. Tries to use religious
symbology
END – Grandmother – Is suffocated under a pillow
INSIGHT – Grandmother – The spirit does not respond to
external stimuli
END – Worker Two – (learned about) Starves
INSIGHT – Worker Two – (learned about) The spirit has
a hard time leaving the houseMIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
Terrorized: The youngest daughter is poisoned over
dinner. The son tries to go to get help and is shot by an officer
accidently. The oldest daughter tries to create order while the father
beings a crusade to figure out who could have done this. He begins
speculating that they are being “eliminated” causing further disarrayo Horror Situation: Family witnesses the poisoning of the younger daughter
o Response – Try to solve it: The son goes to find help to fix the situation
o Horror Situation: Family witnesses their son getting shot by an officer when looking for help
o Response – Escape: Family retreats into the house to avoid the horrible scene
Younger
Daughter:
Why: She won’t stop crying because she knows her
mother isn’t her mother anymore
How: Poisoning by mother
Son:
Why: The audience needs to see that there is no
escape
How: He is shot by armed patrol officersFIGHT – Son – Tries to run to find help
END – Younger Daughter – Dies by poison
INSIGHT – Younger Daughter – No one is safe. The
spirit seems to target those who know of its existence
END – Son – Dies when shot by a cop
INSIGHT – Son – The lockdown is realACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death: The father comes to realize it is
his wife who is killing off family members, but too late as she drowns him
in one of his drunken stupors.o Horror Situation: Father realizes wife is possessed
o Response – Fight: Father confronts his possessed wife
o Horror Situation: Father is trapped in a bathroom after confronting wife
o Response – Escape: Father tries to break the door down
o Horror Situation: The husband becomes trapped under water
o Response – Fight: He tries to fight, but drowns
Husband:
Why: He figures out that mother (his wife) killed
grandma and starts to figure out that she is possessed
How: Drowning by motherFIGHT – Husband – Calls out his wife/the spirit in his
wife
END – Husband – Is drown in a bathtub
INSIGHT – Husband – The spirit kills those who realize
it existsHysteria: Constant moments of being trapped in small
spaces. Some moments of realize that they can’t bring themselves to hurt
mother.o Horror Situation: Oldest and caretaker trapped inside the house with mother
o Response – Escape: Oldest and caretaker try to escape into a “saferoom”
FIGHT – Older Daughter – Strategy
The thrilling escape from death: The Caretaker and Older
Daughter try to find a place to hunker down in the house where they will
be safe from the mother. Mother falls through loose flooring in the
basement and dies (for real). Older Daughter is heavily wounded in the
process.o Horror Situation: Older and caretaker trapped inside the house with mother
o Response – Escape: Older and caretaker try to escape into a “saferoom”
o Monster Reveal: Make people see the world it sees the world (to understand it)
o Monster Reveal: Can be destroyed if the book is destroyed (attempted/failed)
END – Mother – Dies when she falls through the floor
INSIGHT – Mother – The spirit can’t be killedDeath returns to take one or more: The caretaker is killed
when the spirit jumps to the older daughter.Caretaker:
Why: She figures out that the possession has jumped
to the older daughter
How: Stabbing by older daughterEND – Caretaker – Is stabbed to death
INSIGHT – Caretaker – The spirit must have jumpedResolution: The oldest daughter finishes retelling her
story to local authorities with some inconsistencies towards the end.END – Older Daughter – “Survives.” Becomes possessed
INSIGHT – Older Daughter – You can’t escape the spirit -
3. In this lesson I learned more about how to bring an audience along for solving the mystery of the monster/how important it is for the audience to feel like they are solving something
1. Create each part of this model:
A. Who is your monster and what is their terror?
Powers: Show people what hurts to see, inhabit the dead
Limitations: Cannot lie, cannot inhabit the living
Weaknesses: It lives in a book inside the house and
could be destroyed if the book were destroyed, it cannot go far beyond the
book without a host, even in a host it is frail, can be picked up on radio
Plan/Purpose/Appetite: Make people see the world the
way it sees the world and destroy the world the way it wishes it could
destroy itB. Sequence the reveals.
– Can force a re-animated body to kill
– Can be picked up on radio
– Has the power to show people what they fear to see
– Cannot go far beyond the book without a host
– Cannot inhabit the living/inhabits the dead
– Lives in a book inside the house
– Cannot lie
– Can be seen in windows
– Even in a host it is frail
– Make people see the world it sees the world
– Can be destroyed if the book is destroyed
C. Create Demand for each clue/reveal.
Terror: Can force a re-animated body to kill
Discovery: Can be picked up on radio
Discovery/Curiosity: Has the power to show people what they fear to see
Conflict: Cannot go far beyond the book without a host
Terror: Cannot inhabit the living/inhabits the dead
Discovery: Lives in a book inside the house
Putting The Pieces Together: Cannot lie
Discovery: Can be seen in windows
Figure Out Mystery: Even in a host it is frail
Figure Out Mystery: Make people see the world it sees the world
Figure Out Mystery: Can be destroyed if the book is destroyed
2. Lay that over your current outline and fill in each clue/reveal using the tag “Monster Reveal:.”
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established: We see a radio crackle to life as a song begins to play
over the muffle sounds of screams growing louder. Suddenly, we hear a
large thud and a hand fall into view – twitching as though the owner has
just suffered massive head trauma.o Horror Situation: The worker’s partner turns on him and attacks him with a hammer
o Response – Fight: Worker tries to fight back. Dies
Worker:
Why: He figured out his work partner was possessed
How: Bludgeoned to death with a hammer by work
partnerMonster Reveal: Can force a re-animated body to kill
Connect with the characters: The family sits down for a midday lunch while listening
to the radioo Horror Situation: The radio keeps playing strange sounds and music that wasn’t selected
o Response – Denial: The family decides the radio is just old and throws it out
o Monster Reveal: Can be picked up on radio
The characters are warned not to do it: A neighbor comes to the door as people are evacuating,
suggesting the family not stay here over the lockdown. And that at the
very least they move over to their house where it is brighter and the air
is less “chilly.”
Denial of Horror: Unable
to reliably move grandma and all the medical supplies she needs to have
with her, the family decides to stay. They cast off concerns that the house
itself has any problems, summing it up to the shadow cast by a large tree
in the yard. Plus, they don’t believe the lockdown will last very long or
be enforced.Monster Reveal: Has the power to show people what they
fear to see (the mother sees the neighbor eyeing her husband during the conversation)Safety taken away: There
does end up being a lockdown enforcement patrol that prevents people from
leaving their houses.o Horror Situation: The family realizes that they are really locked down
o Response – Denial: The family believes there will always be an exception – it will be fine
Monster – The nature of the beast: One day when looking out at the tree in the front yard,
it becomes apparent that the shadow cast by the tree is far longer than
the sunlight would create. Upon finding the end of the shadow, they find a
small concrete marker in the yard with a dead rabbit laying just before it.
Mother Faints, hitting her head on the rock.o Horror Situation: The shadow of the tree seems to extend past a reasonable length and leads to a small marker
o Response – Try to solve it: The oldest daughter tries to understand what is causing the discrepancy
o Horror Situation: Dead animals start showing up in the yard
o Response – Denial: The family believes it must have been a fox
o Horror Situation: Mother hits her head and “dies”
o Response – Try to solve it: Takes mother inside and tries to nurse her back
Mother:
Why: She needs to “die” for the monster to take hold
How: She faints in the presence of the monster and
hits her head on a rockMonster Reveal: Cannot go far beyond the book without
a host
Monster Reveal: Cannot inhabit the living/inhabits the
deadACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The lockdown goes on for weeks, with ration patrols
being the only way to receive more food or outside contact.
One of us killed: Grandma
dies, though the circumstances are suspiciouso Horror Situation: Grandma dies a strange and painful sudden death
o Response – Denial: The family can’t possibly believe it is anything other than just her old age
Grandmother:
Why: She figures out that mother is possessed when
looking at her reflection in the mirror
How: Asphyxiation by way of her face being covered
with a pillow by motherMonster Reveal: Lives in a book inside the house (discovered
in home library)
Monster Reveal: Cannot lie (nothing grandma sees is
bad enough to make her unhappy)
Monster Reveal: Can be seen in windowsMIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
Terrorized: The youngest daughter is poisoned over dinner.
The son tries to go to get help and is shot by an officer accidently. The oldest
daughter tries to create order while the father beings a crusade to figure
out who could have done this. He begins speculating that they are being “eliminated”
causing further disarrayo Horror Situation: Family witnesses the poisoning of the younger daughter
o Response – Try to solve it: The son goes to find help to fix the situation
o Horror Situation: Family witnesses their son getting shot by an officer when looking for help
o Response – Escape: Family retreats into the house to avoid the horrible scene
Younger
Daughter:
Why: She won’t stop crying because she knows her
mother isn’t her mother anymore
How: Poisoning by mother
Son:
Why: The audience needs to see that there is no
escape
How: He is shot by armed patrol officersACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death: The father comes to realize it is
his wife who is killing off family members, but too late as she drowns him
in one of his drunken stupors.o Horror Situation: Father realizes wife is possessed
o Response – Fight: Father confronts his possessed wife
o Horror Situation: Father is trapped in a bathroom after confronting wife
o Response – Escape: Father tries to break the door down
o Horror Situation: The husband becomes trapped under water
o Response – Fight: He tries to fight, but drowns
Husband:
Why: He figures out that mother (his wife) killed
grandma and starts to figure out that she is possessed
How: Drowning by motherHysteria: Constant moments of being trapped in small
spaces. Some moments of realize that they can’t bring themselves to hurt
mother.o Horror Situation: Oldest and caretaker trapped inside the house with mother
o Response – Escape: Oldest and caretaker try to escape into a “saferoom”
The thrilling escape from death: The Caretaker and Older
Daughter try to find a place to hunker down in the house where they will
be safe from the mother. Mother falls through loose flooring in the
basement and dies (for real). Older Daughter is heavily wounded in the
process.o Horror Situation: Older and caretaker trapped inside the house with mother
o Response – Escape: Older and caretaker try to escape into a “saferoom”
o Monster Reveal: Make people see the world it sees the world (to understand it)
o Monster Reveal: Can be destroyed if the book is destroyed (attempted/failed)
Death returns to take one or more: The caretaker is killed
when the spirit jumps to the older daughter.Caretaker:
Why: She figures out that the possession has jumped
to the older daughter
How: Stabbing by older daughterResolution: The oldest daughter finishes retelling her
story to local authorities with some inconsistencies towards the end. -
3. In this lesson, I learned that it is important to the know why, how, and when about each character death. Specifically, I learned quite a bit more about the “why.”
1. Give us the order your characters die in.
With each character tell us the why and how.
Worker:
Why: He figured out his work partner was possessed
How: Bludgeoned to death with a hammer by work partner
Mother:
Why: She needs to “die” for the monster to take hold
How: She faints in the presence of the monster and hits
her head on a rockGrandmother:
Why: She figures out that mother is possessed when
looking at her reflection in the mirror
How: Asphyxiation by way of her face being covered with
a pillow by motherSon:
Why: The audience needs to see that there is no escape
How: He is shot by armed patrol officers
Younger Daughter:
Why: She won’t stop crying because she knows her mother
isn’t her mother anymore
How: Poisoning by motherHusband:
Why: He figures out that mother (his wife) killed
grandma and starts to figure out that she is possessed
How: Drowning by mother
Caretaker:
Why: She figures out that the possession has jumped to
the older daughter
How: Stabbing by older daughterEtc.
2. Build the answers into your outline.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established: We see a radio crackle to life as a song begins to play
over the muffle sounds of screams growing louder. Suddenly, we hear a
large thud and a hand fall into view – twitching as though the owner has
just suffered massive head trauma.o Horror Situation: The worker’s partner turns on him and attacks him with a hammer
o Response – Fight: Worker tries to fight back. Dies
Worker:
Why: He figured out his work partner was possessed
How: Bludgeoned to death with a hammer by work
partnerConnect with the characters: The family sits down for a midday lunch while listening
to the radioo Horror Situation: The radio keeps playing strange sounds and music that wasn’t selected
o Response – Denial: The family decides the radio is just old and throws it out
The characters are warned not to do it: A neighbor comes to the door as people are evacuating,
suggesting the family not stay here over the lockdown. And that at the
very least they move over to their house where it is brighter and the air
is less “chilly”
Denial of Horror: Unable
to reliably move grandma and all the medical supplies she needs to have
with her, the family decides to stay. They cast off concerns that the house
itself has any problems, summing it up to the shadow cast by a large tree
in the yard. Plus, they don’t believe the lockdown will last very long or
be enforced.
Safety taken away: There
does end up being a lockdown enforcement patrol that prevents people from
leaving their houses.o Horror Situation: The family realizes that they are really locked down
o Response – Denial: The family believes there will always be an exception – it will be fine
Monster – The nature of the beast: One day when looking out at the tree in the front yard,
it becomes apparent that the shadow cast by the tree is far longer than
the sunlight would create. Upon finding the end of the shadow, they find a
small concrete marker in the yard with a dead rabbit laying just before it.
Mother Faints, hitting her head on the rock.o Horror Situation: The shadow of the tree seems to extend past a reasonable length and leads to a small marker
o Response – Try to solve it: The oldest daughter tries to understand what is causing the discrepancy
o Horror Situation: Dead animals start showing up in the yard
o Response – Denial: The family believes it must have been a fox
Mother:
Why: She needs to “die” for the monster to take hold
How: She faints in the presence of the monster and
hits her head on a rockACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The lockdown goes on for weeks, with ration patrols
being the only way to receive more food or outside contact.
One of us killed: Grandma
dies, though the circumstances are suspiciouso Horror Situation: Grandma dies a strange and painful sudden death
o Response – Denial: The family can’t possibly believe it is anything other than just her old age
Grandmother:
Why: She figures out that mother is possessed when
looking at her reflection in the mirror
How: Asphyxiation by way of her face being covered
with a pillow by motherMIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
Terrorized: The youngest daughter is poisoned over dinner.
The son tries to go to get help and is shot by an officer accidently. The oldest
daughter tries to create order while the father beings a crusade to figure
out who could have done this. He begins speculating that they are being “eliminated”
causing further disarrayo Horror Situation: Family witnesses the poisoning of the younger daughter
o Response – Try to solve it: The son goes to find help to fix the situation
o Horror Situation: Family witnesses their son getting shot by an officer when looking for help
o Response – Escape: Family retreats into the house to avoid the horrible scene
Younger
Daughter:
Why: She won’t stop crying because she knows her
mother isn’t her mother anymore
How: Poisoning by mother
Son:
Why: The audience needs to see that there is no
escape
How: He is shot by armed patrol officersACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death: The father comes to realize it is
his wife who is killing off family members, but too late as she drowns him
in one of his drunken stupors.o Horror Situation: Father realizes wife is possessed
o Response – Fight: Father confronts his possessed wife
o Horror Situation: Father is trapped in a bathroom after confronting wife
o Response – Escape: Father tries to break the door down
o Horror Situation: The husband becomes trapped under water
o Response – Fight: He tries to fight, but drowns
Husband:
Why: He figures out that mother (his wife) killed
grandma and starts to figure out that she is possessed
How: Drowning by motherHysteria: Constant moments of being trapped in small
spaces. Some moments of realize that they can’t bring themselves to hurt
mother.o Horror Situation: Oldest and caretaker trapped inside the house with mother
o Response – Escape: Oldest and caretaker try to escape into a “saferoom”
The thrilling escape from death: The Caretaker and Older
Daughter try to find a place to hunker down in the house where they will
be safe from the mother. Mother falls through loose flooring in the
basement and dies (for real). Older Daughter is heavily wounded in the
process.o Horror Situation: Older and caretaker trapped inside the house with mother
o Response – Escape: Older and caretaker try to escape into a “saferoom”
Death returns to take one or more: The caretaker is killed
when the spirit jumps to the older daughter.Caretaker:
Why: She figures out that the possession has jumped
to the older daughter
How: Stabbing by older daughterResolution: The oldest daughter finishes retelling her
story to local authorities with some inconsistencies towards the end. -
2. In this assignment I learned that horror scripts utilize a horror situation/response exchange as one of the components to creating depth in a plot.
1. Build horror situations into your plot:
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established: We see a radio crackle to life as a song begins to play
over the muffle sounds of screams growing louder. Suddenly, we hear a
large thud and a hand fall into view – twitching as though the owner has
just suffered massive head trauma.o Horror Situation: The worker’s partner turns on him and attacks him with a hammer
o Response – Fight: Worker tries to fight back. Dies
Connect with the characters: The family sits down for a midday lunch while listening
to the radioo Horror Situation: The radio keeps playing strange sounds and music that wasn’t selected
o Response – Denial: The family decides the radio is just old and throws it out
The characters are warned not to do it: A neighbor comes to the door as people are evacuating,
suggesting the family not stay here over the lockdown. And that at the
very least they move over to their house where it is brighter and the air
is less “chilly”
Denial of Horror: Unable
to reliably move grandma and all the medical supplies she needs to have
with her, the family decides to stay. They cast off concerns that the house
itself has any problems, summing it up to the shadow cast by a large tree
in the yard. Plus, they don’t believe the lockdown will last very long or
be enforced.
Safety taken away: There
does end up being a lockdown enforcement patrol that prevents people from
leaving their houses.o Horror Situation: The family realizes that they are really locked down
o Response – Denial: The family believes there will always be an exception – it will be fine
Monster – The nature of the beast: One day when looking out at the tree in the front yard,
it becomes apparent that the shadow cast by the tree is far longer than
the sunlight would create. Upon finding the end of the shadow, they find a
small concrete marker in the yard with a dead rabbit laying just before
it.o Horror Situation: The shadow of the tree seems to extend past a reasonable length and leads to a small marker
o Response – Try to solve it: The oldest daughter tries to understand what is causing the discrepancy
o Horror Situation: Dead animals start showing up in the yard
o Response – Denial: The family believes it must have been a fox
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The lockdown goes on for weeks, with ration patrols
being the only way to receive more food or outside contact.
One of us killed: Grandma
dies, though the circumstances are suspiciouso Horror Situation: Grandma dies a strange and painful sudden death
o Response – Denial: The family can’t possibly believe it is anything other than just her old age
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
Terrorized: The youngest daughter is poisoned over dinner.
The son tries to go to get help and is shot by an officer accidently. The oldest
daughter tries to create order while the father beings a crusade to figure
out who could have done this. He begins speculating that they are being “eliminated”
causing further disarrayo Horror Situation: Family witnesses the poisoning of the younger daughter
o Response – Try to solve it: The son goes to find help to fix the situation
o Horror Situation: Family witnesses their son getting shot by an officer when looking for help
o Response – Escape: Family retreats into the house to avoid the horrible scene
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death: The father comes to realize it is
his wife who is killing off family members, but too late as she drowns him
in one of his drunken stupors.o Horror Situation: Father realizes wife is possessed
o Response – Fight: Father confronts his possessed wife
o Horror Situation: Father is trapped in a bathroom after confronting wife
o Response – Escape: Father tries to break the door down
o Horror Situation: The husband becomes trapped under water
o Response – Fight: He tries to fight, but drowns
Hysteria: Constant moments of being trapped in small
spaces. Some moments of realize that they can’t bring themselves to hurt
mother.o Horror Situation: Oldest and caretaker trapped inside the house with mother
o Response – Escape: Oldest and caretaker try to escape into a “saferoom”
The thrilling escape from death: The Caretaker and
Oldest Daughter try to find a place to hunker down in the house where they
will be safe from the mother. Mother falls through loose flooring in the
basement and dies.o Horror Situation: Oldest and caretaker trapped inside the house with mother
o Response – Escape: Oldest and caretaker try to escape into a “saferoom”
Death returns to take one or more: An officer,
responding to the disturbance, is killed when inspecting the house for
survivors. This triggers a larger response from local law enforcement that
ultimately saves the oldest daughter. The caretaker is found dead.o Horror Situation: Police helps older daughter escape, but older daughter becomes new host of the ghost
Response – Fight: Police tries to fight, diesResolution: The oldest daughter finishes retelling her
story to local authorities with some inconsistencies towards the end. -
2. In this assignment I learned that there are specific things each act needs to sell that horror genre. It’s also not rocket science.
1. Knowing your concept, fill in one or two sentences for each of the plot points.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established: We see a radio crackle to life as a song begins to play
over the muffle sounds of screams growing louder. Suddenly, we hear a
large thud and a hand fall into view – twitching as though the owner has
just suffered massive head trauma.Connect with the characters: The family sits down for a midday lunch while listening
to the radioThe characters are warned not to do it: A neighbor comes to the door as people are evacuating,
suggesting the family not stay here over the lockdown. And that at the
very least they move over to their house where it is brighter and the air
is less “chilly”Denial of Horror: Unable
to reliably move grandma and all the medical supplies she needs to have
with her, the family decides to stay. They cast off concerns that the house
itself has any problems, summing it up to the shadow cast by a large tree
in the yard. Plus, they don’t believe the lockdown will last very long or
be enforced.Safety taken away: There
does end up being a lockdown enforcement patrol that prevents people from
leaving their houses.Monster – The nature of the beast: One day when looking out at the tree in the front yard,
it becomes apparent that the shadow cast by the tree is far longer than
the sunlight would create. Upon finding the end of the shadow, they find a
small concrete marker in the yard with a dead rabbit laying just before
it.ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The lockdown goes on for weeks, with ration patrols
being the only way to receive more food or outside contact.One of us killed: Grandma
dies, though the circumstances are suspiciousMIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
Terrorized: The youngest daughter is poisoned over dinner.
The son tries to go to get help and is shot by an officer accidently. The oldest
daughter tries to create order while the father beings a crusade to figure
out who could have done this. He begins speculating that they are being “eliminated”
causing further disarrayACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death: The father comes to realize it is
his wife who is killing off family members, but too late as she drowns him
in one of his drunken stupors.Hysteria: Constant moments of being trapped in small
spaces. Some moments of realize that they can’t bring themselves to hurt
mother.The thrilling escape from death: The Caretaker and
Oldest Daughter try to find a place to hunker down in the house where they
will be safe from the mother. Mother falls through loose flooring in the
basement and dies.Death returns to take one or more: An officer,
responding to the disturbance, is killed when inspecting the house for
survivors. This triggers a larger response from local law enforcement that
ultimately saves the oldest daughter. The caretaker is found dead.
Resolution: The oldest daughter finishes retelling her
story to local authorities with some inconsistencies towards the end. -
4. In this assignment I learned to make my characters more than just a few plot points. By structuring them properly, I can bring the audience a better experience – connecting them back to those emotions they are seeking.
1. Group: Social Group (family + caretaker) &
Concept: During a pandemic lockdown a mother becomes convinced by a malicious spirit that she must kill her family to save them
2. Dying Pattern: B. The characters experience the terror and survive together, but one or two die.
3. Characters:
– Mother: Carrier: Maria, while very much once the leader, has grown tired and used up while taking care of her ailing mother. She has come to resent and distrust members of her family. This has left her susceptible to hosting the spirit of the house.
– Grandmother: Introvert: Nearly deaf and blind, Abigail is a shell of her former self who keeps her door locked at almost all hours and does little more than look out the window to catch some rays of sunlight.
– Son: Innocent: Jason is in his early 20s and believes things will always turn out right. He often overlooks danger as he can’t imagine it.
– Older Daughter: Leader: The new “leader” of the family, Katie runs the house and finances for her mother and father.
– Younger Daughter: Sacrificial Lamb: Frieda is only six years old. She is, unfortunately, an easy target.
– Husband: Red Herring: Roy was once extremely charming and extremely good at climbing the social ladder. He is now conspiratorial and drunk, often making loud outbursts at family members during hangovers. That said, he is going to a therapy group and understands his shortcomings.
– Caretaker: Moral One: Tricia is both there to tend to the garden and poetic. She even sees good in Roy despite his outbursts. Katie and Tricia spend a lot of time talking about family, as Katie has considered leaving to avoid going “down with the ship.”
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3. What I learned from doing this assignment is that monsters are more complex than I had prior realized. A good monster is a number of things combined in the right amounts. Luckily, there is a structure that we can follow.
1. The “monster” is the spirit of the former housebuilder who operates through the mother of the household.
2. Give us a few sentences for each of the following for your monster:
Their Terror: the spirit interacts through both people
(the mother) and aspects of the house. It uses corporal manifestation
through the actions of the mother to try and kill the other family members.
It uses components of the house to isolate family members, distract, and
obscure the mother as the real threat.<div>Their Mystery: the family is not aware of the danger their
mother poses. Instead, the threat at first seems like simple accidents and
then appears to be an outside entity. Perhaps a neighbor who stayed behind.
In the end, the choice is how one deals with their own mother.</div>Their Fear Provoking Appearance: by the time it is
apparent that the spirit is manifesting in their mother, she has gone
weeks without eating. She is gaunt and deathlike – mindlessly wandering after
her family like a zombie.<div>
Their Rules: the spirit can only do minor actions
outside of a human body. Things like setting a lock or shifting a chair. The
spirit also has limitations around inhabiting a body. The spirit can only
inhabit one body at a time. The spirit cannot forcibly occupy someone who
is completely unwilling. The spirit cannot cross beyond the barrier of the
house. The spirit cannot be compelled by any sort of spell or religious
ritual. The only way to escape the spirit is to leave.</div><div>Their Mythology: the spirit is the original housebuilder. She was an extremely strong and brutal woman who believed hard work
was the best show of piety. She built a powerful business, but was struck
down by one of her own sons during the project so that he could take
control of the company. He hid her body in the foundation.
</div> -
ASSIGNMENT #1
5. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?”: What I learned doing this assignment is that horror movies are an amalgamation of a few simple variables. However, if any piece is missing, the script is likely to deviate from the genre. Start simple.
1. Movie: “Hush”
2. Conventions
Title / Concept: Hush <div>
Terrorize The Characters: Characters are hunted by a
lunatic killerIsolation: Characters are in a cabin in the middle of a
forest, power is cut off to kill internet access, car tires are slashed, phones
are stolenDeath: Crossbow/hunting knife
Monster/Villain: “The Man”, a lunatic killer who stalks
his victims in the woodsHigh Tension: The character is constantly going from
the security of the cabin to outside where the killer can kill herDeparture from Reality: Being stalked by a killer in
the middle of the woodsMoral Statement: You can choose your own ending/don’t
run, fight3. Anything else you’d like to say about what made this movie a great horror film: Yes. The decision to play with a main character who could not hear her surroundings created some unconventional moments that made a well-worn concept unique.
4. With your concept, fill in each of these Conventions for your story.
Concept: During a pandemic lockdown a mother becomes convinced
that she must kill her family to save them, just as the housebuilder did
to his family 100 years prior </div>Terrorize The Characters: Characters are forced to handle
the impossible dilemma of causing harm to another family member or very
likely being killedIsolation: Most of the rest of the families in the area
vacated when the lockdown orders came in. They stayed behind because their
grandmother, who lives with them, cannot be easily transportedDeath: Poisoned food, drowning
Monster/Villain: The mother of the family
High Tension: Very close quarters with a person on the
edge of losing her mind/family members being stalked through their own
house by a person they cannot think to harm
Departure from Reality: Houses aren’t really haunted by
evil spirits that convince people to kill their familyMoral Statement: Paranoia will kill everything you love
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1. Brendan
2. 20 Shorts – 0 Features
3. Let’s add a +1 to that features column. More importantly, I want to learn how to write better horror to bring more of my story-worlds to life.
4. I’m also a musician/singer/songwriter
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Brendan Riley
I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Brendan Riley.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by