CJ Knapp
Forum Replies Created
-
I agree to the terms and agreement!
-
testing for AI review component
-
i agree to the terms.
-
I agree to the terms of the release form.
-
CJ’s Scene Ratings!
WIL: I have seen and done this before but it has fallen by the wayside- a good reminder that this is an important step!
Interpretation of ratings: A good 80 – 90% of scenes since this is meant to be an action thriller needs to be at a 7 or higher. The scenes that are not action still need to be entertaining while allowing the audience to collect their breath!
It also made me pull out my Skill Mastery sheets from the Thriller and Action classes!
ASSIGNMENT
Many of the scenes go together but are intercut between two things happening simultaneously so trying to bunch the scenes that go together.
Opening:
S1 thru 3– E8 Opening
S4 & 11 – 20 – E8
S5 – 10 – E 7 – Inciting incident
S25 – Escalation to further the villain’s plan – 7
Act 2
S45 – 53 – new plan –
S54 – Midpoint – E-7
Most scenes are between 6 – 8
Act 3
Several scenes here are E4 -5 — this area needs the most attention!
Others are between E7 -8
Act 4
With Plot twist – E-9
Ending – E 8
Over all the potential is an 8 – now to deliver against it in the most powerful and interesting way!
-
CJ’s Outline to Script!
WIL: This was great to see my new scenes and elevated scenes come together. Found a few that need to be “smoothed” in the process of the actual rewriting the full script to make the new scenes integrated.
Added: 5 new major scenes
Changed: 10 or so
Expect a few more to be updated during the full rewrite.
-
CJ is ready for exchange!
Action Thriller
-
This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by CJ Knapp.
-
This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by
-
CJ’s Fascinating Scene Outlines
WIL: This was helpful as I identified at least 3 scenes that while I feel are important, they aren’t done in an interesting way. Now to brainstorm ideas!
I found one scene that would improve the action in the film if it was moved up earlier thereby adding to interest by now it is a suspenseful scene. – why was he kidnapped?
I added additional tension to a scene that adds to the mystery and provides more details on my lead character.
Had a bland scene where Claire was looking for William – by adding encounters out of the norm with the FBI and the Mercenaries tells us this is a bigger issue than we know – intrigue…
-
CJ Elevates Lead Characters!
WIL: Needed to provide stronger introductions for supporting characters. Also needed to make sure that if my Lead wasn’t in the scene – the scene was about my Lead or it would foreshadow a future event that would impact my lead.
ASSIGNMENT
1. Pull out your outline.
2. Read the explanation of each of these needs above and see if any exist for your outline. If so, this is an opportunity to make it stronger.
A. Need Stronger Lead Characters – Found great improvement for lead earlier – and focused on providing a stronger one for my antagonist which makes you feel for him on why he is doing what he is doing.
B. Need Stronger Character Intros – Built a fun way to show my lead’s special skills without saying it.
C. Playing it Too Safe – Needed to give more emphasis on some of the other characters including my lead’s husband.
D. Lead Characters Not Present – I have added some additional scenes that if my lead is not present – it foreshadows a future scene with my lead, or the scene is about my lead.
-
CJ Solves Major Problems!
WIL: Looking at each of the major components makes it easier to see the full Big Picture and find easy ways to see opportunities!
ASSIGNMENT
1. Pull out your outline.
2. Read the explanation of each of these needs above and see if any can be applied to your outline to make it stronger.
A. Need Stronger Transformational Journey – I felt that this needed to be up front after looking what I wanted to accomplish.
B. Need Stronger Conflict – Yes as an Action Thriller I really needed to add more conflict in the form of action.
C. Need Stronger Opening – I feel it is a good start… by time I finish the rewrite I might have a different view.
D. Need Stronger Ending – I had not really solidified this but now that I have my transformational journey and conflict solidified, I feel my ending is much stronger!
-
CJ’s Outline Improvements
WIL: Going through these really made me realize that I hadn’t delivered on all cylinders! Great way to figure out what I need to do and where!
ASSIGNMENT
1. Pull out your outline from the start of the program.
2. Go to the previous lessons where you completed each of these steps:
A. Deliver on the pitch. -check<div>
B. Match your 4-Act structure. – check
C. Strong on Genre Conventions. – check and listened to the audio pitch for class!
D. The Characters Take Action from their Profiles. – added!
E. Build in each Character’s Story Line. – check
3. Compare the outline to each completed assignment and make any improvements to the outline to honor your new vision.
4. Tell us the improvements this made to your outline, but don’t include the outline, yet.
I realized that I thought I was writing an ACTION / thriller but realized that I didn’t have near the high-octane action scenes I needed – so I took some time to really decide if I wanted to stay with “thriller” or go for the Action sequences – a perfect way to see where and how I wanted to add them and make sure they were meaningful and adding to the story.
</div>
-
CJ’s Character story lines
WIL: It is important that the story line have forward movement and be essential to the story.
ASSIGNMENT
Create a Story Line for each of your main characters.
Claire Madison: protagonist
Beginning: Soccer mom, wife to DC lobbyist<div>
Turning Point: She is asked to do an off the book’s assignment.
Midpoint: She realizes no one is helping her find William and clear his name.
Turning Point 2: Claire reaches out for help from a friend.
Major Conflict: Plays along with FBI and General that she’s a helpless stay-at-home mom while she takes on Mercenary soldiers.
Ending: She takes out the Mercenaries and takes on the General but now realizes she doesn’t have to do everything on her own or for everyone else.
General Marx: Antagonist
Beginning: Inspecting the details for a military parade for the G7 conference – with live ammunitions.</div><div>
Turning Point: Sets William up as a domestic Terrorist to ramp up the need for military presence.
Midpoint: Claire becomes a problem, and he sends mercenaries after her.
Turning Point 2: Marx calls out the military to bring “order” and track Claire
<u style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Major Conflict: Disillusioned with the government support of the military after his daughter was killed in the war due to bad intel, he decides to topple the government and destroy world economies.
Ending: His plan fails, and he is killed by Claire.
William Madison: Supporting character.
Beginning: Lobbyist with a meeting with the president – it doesn’t go well</div><div>
Turning Point: Becomes the target to be set up as Domestic terrorist.
Midpoint: After a BIG fight he is taken hostage by mercenaries
Turning Point 2: He is shown as a dangerous terrorist.
Major Conflict: His hot-headed approach to pushing his agenda gets him in trouble and he has to keep a level head.
Ending: He is engaged in his family and supports Claire’s side assignments
Colonel Thomas – Supporting character.
Beginning: After hearing William and Shields argue he tags William to be the scapegoat.</div><div>
Turning Point: He is orchestrating the military coup for the General
Midpoint: He uses mercenaries to help him with coup
Turning Point 2: He begins to question the General’s plan.
Major Conflict: He believes in the military and the General not knowing that his wife is having an affair with the General and planning on skipping town with him.
Ending: He realizes too late he’s been duped and is killed.
Joan Thomas – Supporting character.
Beginning: She’s a friend to Claire – helps with soccer team and bake sale.</div>
Turning Point: She’s having an affair with General.
Midpoint: She’s making financial trades when the US economy and other world economies collapses.
Turning Point 2: She has Claire’s daughters and uses them as leverage.
Major Conflict: She wants the power and money the General promises her even if it means her husband will die.
Ending: She dies when General runs.
-
CJ’s Character Profiles
WIL: A great exercise to make sure I really understand my characters. I found several ways to provide deeper meanings and add depth to the story based on the character profiles.
Create Character Profiles for each of your lead characters by filling in the blanks for these eight questions.
A. Name: Claire Madison
B. Role in the Story: Protagonist
C. Core Traits: Structured, organized, self-doubt, athletic.
D. Motivation: Want/Need: Wants to keep everyone safe, needs to forgive herself for the loss of her unit in Afghanistan.
E. Flaw/Wound: Self-doubt that she didn’t make the right decisions. Guilt that she couldn’t save her unit. Afraid to let her family make their own way.
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: She does small jobs in US soil for the CIA off the books.
G. Internal Dilemma: She left the service due to her guilt, but she can’t give up the intrigue.
H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? She has special forces training as well as intelligence operative background.
A. Name: President Shields
B. Role in the Story: Supporting role.
C. Core Traits: Egotistical, practical, naïve, charismatic.
D. Motivation: Want/Need: Wants to be re-elected needs to do the right thing for the right reasons for the country.
E. Flaw/Wound: Worried about the polls and public opinion
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Wants to be re-elected at any cost.
G. Internal Dilemma: He isn’t a fan of the military, but he lets General Marx tell him what to do. H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? He has a long political career but no military training, so he misses Marx’s secret plan.
A. Name: General Marx
B. Role in the Story: Antagonist
C. Core Traits: Driven, frustrated, disciplined, analytical.
D. Motivation: Want/Need: Wants the military to get the respect it needs. Needs to move past the loss of his daughter due to bad intel.
E. Flaw/Wound: His wound is his daughter was on a mission, the intel was wrong she was captured, tortured, and killed.
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: He’s having an affair with Joan Thomas, and they are planning on taking advantage of the economic chaos they will cause.
G. Internal Dilemma: He wants the military to be in charge, but he thinks politics will always stand in the way unless drastic measure are taken.
H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? He has a strong military history. He understands Claire and has thought of her as his daughter knowing the burden, she carries due to bad intel. But he still wants drastic changes.
A. Name: William Madison
B. Role in the Story: Supporting role – Claire’s husband.
C. Core Traits: Devoted, patriotic, stubborn, passionate
D. Motivation: Want/Need: Wants to help broker world peace, needs to spend time supporting his family.
E. Flaw/Wound: He wants to be known for something at the expense of his family.
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: He has special ops training – that’s how he met Claire.
G. Internal Dilemma: He wants to focus on his political agenda, but his family is paying the price.
H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? He has special Ops training and is able to help thwart the attempt on the G7
A. Name: Colonel Thomas
B. Role in the Story: Supporting role for Antagonist.
C. Core Traits: patriot, devoted, naïve, aggressive.
D. Motivation: Want/Need: Wants to help Marx revive role of Military needs to see through the web of lies.
E. Flaw/Wound: He has been unhappy with the decline in support of the military.
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Creating a situation that Marshall law will bring back the might of the military.
G. Internal Dilemma: He has sworn to protest the government, yet he is plotting its demise.
H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? Marx is using him to do his dirty work and having an affair and planning to run away with his wife.
A. Name: Joan Thomas
B. Role in the Story: Supporting role – Colonel Thomas’ wife and lover of General Marx
C. Core Traits: conniving, shellfish, insecure, controlling.
D. Motivation: Want/Need: She wants power. She needs to not try to control others.
E. Flaw/Wound: she feels her youth fading and looking to hang on to anything.
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: She is setting up her husband to take the fall
G. Internal Dilemma: She has no conscious.
H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? She understands the inner workings of politics, the military and financial services.
A. Name: Jonathan Spires
B. Role in the Story: Supporting good guy.
C. Core Traits: Analytical, furtive, soft spot for Claire, intelligent
D. Motivation: Want/Need: Wants to help Claire. Needs to get over his crush on her.
E. Flaw/Wound: Claire is the one that got away.
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Has been keeping tabs on her.
G. Internal Dilemma: Devoted to his job he isn’t happy about feeding information to Claire that could get him fired.
H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? As an analyst for CIA, he can help provide intel and assistance to Claire.
-
CJ’s 4-Act Structure
WIL: It is good to step back from the script to see that the structure is flowing the way it should and the tension is being maintained.
1. Give us the following:
Title: On U.S. SoilGenre: Action / ThrillerConcept: A special forces operative must come out of retirement to rescue her family and stop an attack on the G-7 summit to creates economic chaos
· Main Conflict: General Marx plans a military coup white the G-7 conference is held in Washington DC. Claire’s husband is set up as a domestic terrorist. Claire must stop the coup and rescue her family.
2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
Opening: Military prepares for parade for G-7 with live ammunitions. Morning family chaos with a glimpse of Claire’s abilities. William (Claire’s husband) prepares for meeting with the President with a plan to broker peace in the Middle East.<div>
Inciting Incident: Williams Meeting goes badly with the President.Turning Point: William is kidnapped and branded a Domestic Terrorist after an attack on D.C.
Act 2:
New plan: Claire turns to friend and former commander – General Marx to help find William and clear his name.<div>
Plan in action: The General turns over the task to Colonel Thomas as he plans parade for G-7 Conference. Ticking clock (72 hours away)
Midpoint Turning Point: Claire sees a copy of her Think Tank plan “Operational Rebuild” on the Generals desk – then another attack on D.C.
Act 3:
Rethink everything: Claire under siege by the FBI looking for William and being stonewalled by General Marx needs a new plan. </div><div>
New plan: Claire reaches out to an old friend, Jonathan Spires from the CIA. They worked on the Operation Rebuild project together. She has determined someone is working their rebuild plan backwards to topple the gov’t – She has to admit she needs help.
Turning Point: Claire reaches out to tell the General and remembers he had the plan on his desk. Claire is considered a person of interest – her face on every TV station. The General sends Army Rangers after Claire as a “person of Interest” before FBI can get to her.
Huge failure / Major shift: In a confrontation with the Rangers Jonathan is wounded but Claire convinces one of the Army Rangers to meet her and convinces her she is innocent.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Claire –finds the “Safe House” where William is being held. After a shoot-out with Rangers – She and William escape to try to clear William’s name. Claire’s left her daughter in the care of Colonel Thomas’ wife – only to find out that they are in on the plan with General Marx. She must rescue her daughters and stop the attack on G-7.Resolution: General Marx plans to topple the governments who don’t respect the military. Marx intends to capitalize on the economic chaos after he attacks the G-7 and escape leaving the chaos behind. Claire stops the attack in G-7 and General Marx.
</div></div> -
CJ’s pitch for On U.S. Soil
What I learned: How to break down my concept and logline into pertinent parts and stay true to my pitch.
GENRE: Action / Thriller
TITLE: ON U.S. Soil
HIGH CONCEPT: A special forces operative must come out of retirement to rescue her family and stop an attack on the G-7 summit to creates economic chaos.
MAIN CONFLICT: General Marx plans a military coup white the G-7 conference is held in Washington DC. Claire’s husband is set up as a domestic terrorist. Claire must stop the coup and rescue her family.
TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY:
Internal – She needs to let her guilt go over losing her squad in Afghanistan.
External – She needs to let her family make their own way and not try to do everything for them.
OPPOSITION: Antagonist: General Marx stages a military coup using Claire’s original think tank plan to rebuild if the U.S. is ever attacked – running the playbook backwards. He wants to create global economic chaos and take the money and run.
-
Name – CJ Knapp
2. How many scripts you’ve written? Many and TV pilots
3. What you hope to get out of the class? – A faster way to rewrite and reach the next level.
4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? – I like to travel – I am in Portugal at the moment… have 2 pugs and a cat… I love to cook and try new recipes!
-
I CJ Knapp agree to the terms of this release form.
-
CJ’s Has tested every line!
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: It is important to really re-read carefully as you can skip over lines without giving them great scrutiny – and I found was to shorted lines and removed some orphan lines.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Hunter, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
Assignment:
Great opportunity to really read lines and find ways to shorten and especially add clarity to what was needed for the scene.
Here’s one example:
Claire executes her own soccer moves with the FLOWERPOTS. She kicks the first pot into the air, followed by the second pot. Like slow motion, she leaps up, kicks the first pot into the face of the first guard.
New:
Claire executes a soccer move with the FLOWERPOTS. She kicks the first pot into the air, followed by the second pot. She leaps up, kicks the first pot into the face of a guard.
-
CJ’s Has amazing Dialogue!
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: I love the skill Mastery sheets – such great techniques at your finger tips!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Hunter, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
2. Use the strategy above along with the Skill Mastery Sheet to elevate as many lines as you can.
3. Tell us how many lines you elevated and give us three before-and-after examples.
There have been so many – I didn’t count as many were done in previous passes as well. I worked to be more ruthless to take out unnecessary words, phrases that didn’t move the story forward plus it tightens the script and cuts pages!
-
CJ Has Incredible Monologues!
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: Monologues are emotional opportunities to reach the audience and give your character – and the actor an opportunity to shine!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Hunter, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
2. Using the steps above, write a monologue for each of your lead characters.
As my story is a thriller -long monologue didn’t work for all characters but in the right place makes a big difference!
3. Tell us the setup for the scene, then present the scene, including the monologue.
4. Present these elements for each monologue.
Demanded by the situationTakes us to a deeper placeTurning point EmotionalHigh stakesA beginning, middle, and ending.
5. Share the monologue with us.
Catherine is the antagonist and is using her company to make deals with criminals to help them hide assets and fund her senatorial campaign:
Energetic applause erupts as Catherine takes the podium. Catherine smiles and shakes Harry’s hand.
CATHERINE HARPIE
Thank you, Harry. I find I’m blushing at your kind words and the accolades you give me.
She turns to the audience and smiles.
CATHERINE HARPIE
Thank all of you for coming out today. I appreciate all the fanfare and am excited about our future.
Harry laughs and nods his head.
CATHERINE HARPIE
Today I wanted to announce the new contract the federal government has granted us. We have an exclusive contract to provide memory retrieval for the FBI. This means more jobs for Michigan! I want to thank my team at Memory Retrieval for all their hard work and determination to make this possible. Without them, this wouldn’t be possible.
The crowd claps.
CATHERINE HARPIE
Again, thank you all today for coming out and for letting me know that you’re here to cheer me on the journey. Michigan has always been near and dear to my heart and I want nothing but the best for her. I pledge that if I am elected, I will put the same dedication into making Michigan a state to be reckoned with as I have with my company, Memory Retrieval Inc.
The crowd is ecstatic.
CATHERINE HARPIE
Are there any questions?
A drone moves forward and projects a 3-D image of a reporter in avatar form.
REPORTER 1
Ms. Harpie how do you think running Memory Retrieval would help prepare you for being our state Senator?
CATHERINE HARPIE
Good question. Running a company requires that I invest in my people. Provide them the materials and incentives to be the best they can be. I would fight for and invest in the people of our great state in the same manner.
The crowd cheers.
Catherine nods at another drone/reporter.
REPORTER 2
Isn’t it a conflict of interest when you can access your opponent’s deepest thoughts?
Catherine chuckles.
CATHERINE HARPIE
I hardly think there is a reason that I’ll need access to an opponent’s memories. I will run on my commitment to Michigan and the people of this great state. The company would be run by my management team so that I can focus on the best interests of Michigan.
Catherine smiles at the crowd. She spots something in the crowd and frowns.
A man pulls and whips his dog with the leash. The dog cringes and whimpers.
CATHERINE HARPIE
Excuse me for a moment.
Catherine climbs down from the podium and marches over to the oblivious man.
The crowd parts as Catherine marches over to him.
The man raises his hand to hit the dog again. Catherine reaches out and snatches his arm in mid-swing.
CATHERINE HARPIE
Excuse me, sir. That is quite enough. No more.
DOG MAN
Mind your own business lady.
Catherine reaches over and takes the leash from his hand.
CATHERINE HARPIE
This is my concern. You have no business with an animal if this is how you treat them. Get off my property.
DOG MAN
I want my dog lady.
Catherine stares him down and he slinks away.
The crowd goes crazy and cheers for Catherine.
-
CJ’s Subtext pointers!
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: A lot can be said in how you say it. These add so much for depth then on-the-nose dialogue. A difference is what is said or what isn’t said.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Hunter, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT:
Your goal: Use Subtext Pointers in any scenes where you want the audience to experience the deeper meaning…
Go through your script and Identify any scenes in your script that…
Have dialogue about what is going on under the surface. Have a deeper meaning that could be pointed to.Or have no deeper meaning at all, in which case, you might put something under the surface.
With each of those scenes, brainstorm ways you might use a Subtext Pointer to bring that meaning to the audience’s attention and use the ones you like.
SUBTEXT POINTER METHODS
MetaphorImplicationInsinuationHintSarcasmAllusion
Make a list of your 5 favorite Subtext Pointer changes and for each one, tell us:
Metaphor:
Before lines: The boss lady summonsAfter lines: Ah the dragon lady summons
Insinuate
– Before – did we find the assets?
– After – Did we get what we want?
Hint
– Before – What the hell are these photos?
– After – you better be okay. You have some explaining to do.
Insinuation
– Before – Let’s see what dark secrets you have
– After – She’s an open doorway… I never knew.
Implication
– Have we moved the assets?
– Fully funded?
-
CJ loves anticipatory dialogue
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: A fun way to update dialogue. As I went through the script I was pleased to see that I had employed many of these already – but as always – there were many missed opportunities that I needed to address.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Hunter, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Your goal: Have at least one anticipatory dialogue line in every other scene. That way, you are constantly pointing the mind of the audience toward the future of the story.
Skim each scene and ask these two questions:
A. Do I have any anticipatory dialogue here?B. Can I add a line that creates anticipation for some future event?
3. For any scenes that don’t have anticipatory dialogue, use one of these methods to rewrite or add a line.
1. Direct prediction.2. Indirect prediction.3. Countdown.4. Imply consequences.5. Imply hopelessness.6. Shield from consequences in advance.7. Warnings.8. Create reputation for the villain.9. Confront someone hiding from a future consequence.10. A challenge issued.11. Silence at a strange time.
4. Continue through the entire script, adding anticipatory dialogue to any scenes you can.
-
CJ loves anticipatory dialogue
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: A fun way to update dialogue. As I went through the script I was pleased to see that I had employed many of these already – but as always – there were many missed opportunities that I needed to address.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Hunter, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Your goal: Have at least one anticipatory dialogue line in every other scene. That way, you are constantly pointing the mind of the audience toward the future of the story.
Skim each scene and ask these two questions:
A. Do I have any anticipatory dialogue here?B. Can I add a line that creates anticipation for some future event?
3. For any scenes that don’t have anticipatory dialogue, use one of these methods to rewrite or add a line.
1. Direct prediction.2. Indirect prediction.3. Countdown.4. Imply consequences.5. Imply hopelessness.6. Shield from consequences in advance.7. Warnings.8. Create reputation for the villain.9. Confront someone hiding from a future consequence.10. A challenge issued.11. Silence at a strange time.
4. Continue through the entire script, adding anticipatory dialogue to any scenes you can.
-
CJ Loves Attack / Counterattack dialogue
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: The attack and counterattack was a bit harder for me to noticeably utilize. But I like how it plays out.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Hunter, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Look through your scenes and find some that have very little dialogue.
Give the characters opposing viewpoints.
Different perspectivesDifferent objectivesDifferent realitiesDifferent emotional statesDifferent philosophiesDifferent issues
Give us one scene where you did Attack/Counterattack dialogue well.
There is a scene between Catherine and Terry that I added the attack / counterattack in a banter situation.
-
CJ’s Dialogue Structures
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: I needed this reminder to make sure my set up works for my payoff later. Some great examples to help me tweak my dialogue.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Hunter, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Identify all the scenes in your script that could be driven by the dialogue.
3. Use the Dialogue Structures and rewrite at least one scene each to have a major impact through this structure.
A. Setup / Major TwistB. Opposite Meanings in DialogueC. Subtext Drives The MeaningD. Deeper Layer Opposes Dialogue
I was able to use this in several crucial dialogue scenarios.
-
CJ Elevated Dialogue:
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: Going through this – it is fun to see how you can change a location and add more quality as well as showing the traits of the serial killer instead of explaining them.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Hunter, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Follow these steps to rewrite any generic lines from your lead characters.
Select a lead character. – Mya Ortega and Catherine Pull out their character profile and read it. – checkGo to the first dialogue line for this character. Read it. – checkAsk, “Could that line be said by anyone else?” – absolutely – my first draft seems to always be OTN and cliché’sIf so, using that character’s profile, brainstorm other possible ways to say the line. Rewrite it, then move to the next line by this character.
Tell us how many lines you rewrote for each character and give us three of your favorites just for fun.
– A lot of the lines for my protagonist, antagonist as well as supporting characters – Terry and Freddie
Examples:
Mya was initially not very likable – she used her wound to keep everyone at bay and on edge – so I have softened her retorts to her sister and became more engaging with her friend.
-
CJ Elevated Interest:
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: Going through this – it is fun to see how you can change a location and add more quality as well as showing the traits of the serial killer instead of explaining them.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Hunter, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
Assignment:
With the above set of interest techniques, go to the most important scenes in your script and brainstorm ways to build in more interest techniques.
Structure – opening, inciting incident, turning point 1, etc.. – Found a great opportunity to change the turning point.<div>
Lead character introductions. – Need to improve the introduction of the protagonist’s sister.
Reveals – both plot and character reveals.
Key setups. – Needed to improve the set ups on the Antagonist via her accomplistImportant payoffs. – The set ups will make the payoff’s better
Most dramatic moments. – Loads of opportunities here.
Post a list of the changes you made to the forums.
· Found a scene that was really enhanced by changing the location which provided more levels of emotion.
· Added an internal dilemma for the protagonist as she struggles to take help from a friend/love interest by revealing her would
· Possible cliff hanger to change up the end – where the deranged killer escapes into the mind of Terry who orchestrated everything.
</div>
-
CJ’s Elevated Emotion!
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: Going through this – sometimes I didn’t realize until I went back to it that it was in fact a Cliché – so working through a different way to convey it or change it in a way that is different or fresh.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Hunter, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
Assignment:
I realized that there were many opportunities to elevate scenes – from intensity to playing with emotions.
My protagonist needed be more relatable and I needed to play with the emotions to bring this about. Have her not be so unreachable but a bit vulnerable by raising the stakes.
My protagonist’s sister is a key component for the protagonist to “play off of” – I needed to give her a life and more of a background to make her more believable. Show her loss / disappointments that she has given up for her sister.
I have a lot of betrayal, but I need to show more “trust” between my protagonist and her mentor to make the betrayal more vibrant.
Scene #’s: 5, 18, 19, 20, 26, and a few more!
I also found an opportunity to show some exposition rather than tell – excited about the new visuals that will bring more emotional impact!
-
CJ Dramatic Reveals!
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: A good way to look to see if the reveal can be done more powerfully and deliver a stronger message
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Hunter, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
Make a list of all the reveals in your script.
– Freddie is the one who kidnapped Mya
– Mya finds out she ran away that her sister didn’t leave her at the park
– Terry and Catherine are making deals with the criminals to hide money
With each one, answer these questions:
Freddie is the one who kidnapped Mya
A. What is the DEMAND? Mya wants to busy her memories of her abductionsB. What is being REVEALED?Freddie is at Memory Hunter to have his memory searched for a missing body C. How is it presented DRAMATICALLY?Mya is deliberately put in Freddie’s mind to stop her searching hidden files only find that Freddie is the one who abducted her and this is the memory she wants to bury
Mya has blamed Stella her sister for what happened to her only to find out she was the one who ran away – her sister didn’t leave her.
A. What is the DEMAND? Mya blames her sister for her abductionB. What is being REVEALED?Mya thought that Stella left her at the parkC. How is it presented DRAMATICALLY?Stella never told her it was her fault that she ran away to save her from blaming herself
Will have Stella open her mind for an incursion to show what really happened. Instead of sneaking into the facility they do it at home with Jason’s help to build on the relationship with Jason and allow better closure.
Terry and Catherine are making deals with the criminals to hide money
A. What is the DEMAND? Catherine needs money to fund her lifestyle and to run for the SenateB. What is being REVEALED?They have been making secret incursions outside of protocol to make a deal to get to the money etc and hide it before the incursion with the authorities present.C. How is it presented DRAMATICALLY?Catherine and Terry’s scheme is revealed at a fund raiser
-
CJ Loves Character Depth
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: Going through this – sometimes I didn’t realize until I went back to it that it was in fact a Cliché – so working through a different way to convey it or change it in a way that is different or fresh.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Hunter, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
Tell us the changes you made using these tools.
Found that my Antagonist was hiding her need to be liked by everyone
Found a way to elevate my protagonist’s story by her doing the reveal of who she is
Terry is hiding that he is double dealing on Catherine
Mya’s nightmares will trigger her to do stupid things
-
CJ’s Cliché Busting
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: Going through this – sometimes I didn’t realize until I went back to it that it was in fact a Cliché – so working through a different way to convey it or change it in a way that is different or fresh.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Give us a list of the changes you made to your script. But don’t post the actual script.
Cliché: dialogue – from “I got this!”
New Version: “follow the money”
————
Cliché: How memories are used
New Version: To how they are gathered and fed back to the mind
———
Cliché: changed a stereotype character
New Version: A different trait that sets them apart – even though they are double crossing they are loveable
A couple of smaller changes that I believe will make the difference
-
CJ’s Solved Character Problems
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: As I work through these rewrite processes, I am filing out the story and raising the quality. I needed to turn my antagonist into a 3-dimensional character – initially the antagonist felt flat.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
Check Lead Characters:
B. Weak Antagonist
– Need to work on red herring and relationship with Antagonist
-
CJ’s Structure Solutions
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: My page count is lower than I would like. Additional scenes will be added, and current scenes will be filled out. Working against the clock works!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
Solution Grid Solutions:
#3 – Weak Conflict – Needed to add more subterfuge and double crossing with Antagonist
#4 – Do my Acts Work – Acts are a bit shy on page count – with the improvement of the conflict this fell into line.
#5 – Need Strong Turning Points – Elevated these with the conflict from #3
#9 – Need stronger Mid-point — worked on the mid-point
-
CJ began Act 2
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: My page count is lower than I would like. Additional scenes will be added, and current scenes will be filled out. Working against the clock works!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
-
CJ’s Act 1 Finished Act 1
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: I have finished Act 1 and have started Act 2. My page could is lower than I would like but I know that as I go through the outline I need some transition scenes and need to add some depth to my characters in additional scenes which will come as I flesh out the rest of the outline.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
-
CJ’s Act 1 First Draft Part 1
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: I am excited that I have a crappy – yes crappy draft of my Act 1. But I have Act 1 done – does it need work – yep – loads of it – but the groundwork has been laid!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
-
WIM Module 5: lesson 3: Act 1. Write 3 to 5 pages a day
I got so caught up writing my scenes – I forgot to post the daily assignments!
CJ’s Act 1 First Draft Part 1
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: With a strong outline – and staying true to the outline makes it easy to power through scene after scene. I am not striving for perfection but I admit when I go back to get my baring’s on where I am at with the outline – I still fix a few things but I don’t let it slow me down!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
-
CJ’s High speed Writing Rules
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes produced highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas.
WIL: I am okay with writing without going back to fix thinks but I do occasionally find I fix a few things. Something I will continue to try to ignore!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT:
Tell us how it went using the rules:
It is liberating to just keep writing. I still find I fix a thing or two not so much out of being a perfectionist but when I realize I have no idea what the word was that is on the paper and I want to clarify so when I go back for later revisions I can keep the flow going.
-
CJ’s First scene!
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: The scene flows must easier and faster when you have an idea of where to start, what you want to include and how the scene ends!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT:
Tell us how the process went for you:
Great having the beginning, middle and end of the scene already there made it easy to fill in the rest!
-
Hi – I am ready to exchange! I have a thriller:
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
-
CJ’s Fascinating Scene Outlines!
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: At first, I was making this harder than I thought – then I realized I had many of the components needed – just needed to flesh it out or call it out. Very happy with this process!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
OUTLINE:
INT. PRISTINE BASEMENT – NIGHT
An 8-year-old girl cowers in a corner. Screams are heard.
Scene arc: Mya is little girl. The abductor comes retrieve her – she is chained to a dead body.
Conflict: Mya struggles to drag body to escape.
Hope/Fear: We hope she can get away we fear she won’t.
Beginning: (Intrigue) Mya as an 8-yr-old trapped in a basement.
Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) Chained to a dead body.
End: (Surprise) Mya unchained slips through his fingers – the body is NOT dead – hand grabs his leg.
INT. MYA ORTEGA’S BEDROOM – DAY
Mya wakes from her nightmare. Headache and haggard.
Beginning – (uncertainty) Subtext: Mya has never dealt with her childhood trauma
Middle: (uncomfortable moment) Scene Arc: Mya goes from her nightmare fetal position into her ready to fight.
End: (Major twist) Mya talk to her image – she will bury it – all of it!
INT. ORTEGA KITCHEN – DAY
Mya and her sister argue about Mya seeing a doctor about brain tumor.
Beginning: (Misinterpretation) Essence: we establish that Mya needs help the doctor’s think the brain tumor is psychosomatic. Stella thinks Mya is running from tumor.
Middle: (External Dilemma) Scene Arc: Mya is late for work and blames Stella for all her problems to avoid taking responsibility for her own actions.
Conflict: Mya doesn’t like Stella trying to be her mother.
Subtext: Mya blames Stella for her abduction when she was a child.
Ending: (Suspense) Hope/Fear: We hope Mya will get the tumor looked at but we are afraid she will continue to ignore it.
EXT. STREETS – DAY
Beginning: (Internal Dilemma) Jason wants to get Mya’s attention. Mya and her friend Jason get coffee and talk about work.
Middle: (Misinterpretation) Conflict: Jason likes Mya but she brushes him off.
Hope/Fear: We hope Mya will like Jason but we fear that she won’t notice him.
Essence: Memory Retrieval Company is introduced.
End: (intrigue) What is Memory Retrieval? Advertisements float in the air.
EXT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL COMPANY
Beginning: (Suspense) Mya arrives at work it’s a state of the art building with high tech abilities. Platforms is being built.
Essence: establishing state of the art technology.
End: (Intrigue) What is Memory Retrieval and what do they do?
INT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL COMPANY
Beginning: (Misinterpretation) Mya drops her bag and is razzed by co-worker Terry. She thinks Terry is a friend and mentor.
Scene Arc: Mya arrives at work she’s late and rushes into a meeting with a family.
Middle: (Internal Dilemma) Conflict: Mya is intimidated by the son who wants to know where his mother hid the “Will and Testament” and jewelry.
End: (Uncertainty) Hope/Fear: We hope Mya stands up to him we fear for his mother and that Mya will help him..
Subtext: He is abusive with all females as his wife also demonstrates fearlessness.
Essence: We learn how memory hunter works and the process.
INT. MYA’S DESK
Mya is secretly researching old memory hunts.
(E) Mya wants to find a way to hide her own memories
(H/F) We hope we finds an answer but fear she is just running away.
Beginning: (Suspense) Mya may get caught accessing classified files / memories.
Middle: (uncertainty) Can False memories or memories be altered?
End: (Cliffhanger) Will in work?
INT. ORTEGA HOME – NIGHT
Beginning: (Uncomfortable moment) Mya and Stella fight about doctor and Mya hints her anger with Stella.
Middle: (Mislead) (SA) Mya in denial about her dealing with her issue.
End: Reveal (C) Angry at her sister and blames Stella for all her issues.
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT
Beginning: (More interesting setting) Mya and Jason hover paddle board over Lake Michigan and bond over dysfunctional families.
Middle: (Internal Dilemma) (SA) Mya complains about her over-bearing sister (but she still loves her) and Jason has no family and is lonely.
End: (Uncomfortable Moment)(E) Jason tells Mya she’s lucky to have someone to care. His family died in a freak accident.
Mya talks about what she hopes to get from Memory Hunters.
EXT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL COMPANY
Catherine holds a press conference and announces new government contract.
Beginning: (Intrigue)(E) Catherine is looking for public awareness. Why?
Middle: (Surprise) (C) A man abuses his dog – and Catherine intervenes – she cares about animals
End: (Mystery) (SA) Catherine takes time after the public contract announcement to hint at future aspirations.
INT. MYA’S DESK
Mya scours past cases and review memory files and see files not logged. She tries to open them and is locked out.
Beginning: (Misinterpretation) (E) Mya sorts through screens of memories looking for consistent patterns. But doesn’t understand what she is seeing.
Middle: (SA) She goes from screening memories to researching new unlogged cases and is denied access.
End: (uncertainty)(C) What are the “unlogged cases” and why are they unlogged? Her access generates an ALARM.
INT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL OFFICES – DAY
Beginning: (uncomfortable moment) commotion as an EXPERIENCED memory hunter is extracted from a mind – Freddie’s mind!
(S)Terry fill us in on Freddie – he knows more than he is telling.
Middle: (Suspense) (E) Who is Freddie and why is he there? Parents of a victim want closure. Where is their daughter’s body – what did Freddie do with it?
End: (Major twist) the memory hunter’s mind is broken.
INT. CATHERINE’S OFFICE
Beginning: (Uncomfortable moment) Catherine calls Terry into her office. Tells Mya Catherine’s on a witch hunt.
She’s received an ALERT that files are being illegally accessed.
Middle: (Twist) (E) There is something going on between them.
End: (Surprise)(SA) Catherine starts with business ends with sex.
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT
Beginning: (Intrigue) Mya talks with Jason and tells him about her strange findings –
Middle: (Mystery) (SA) that the incursions are taking place BEFORE the scheduled incursion with the authorities present.
End: (Suspense) (E) Mya’s research almost gets her killed as she is run off the road and Jason is hurt. Who ran them off the road? Why?
INT. FRANK YORGEN’S OFFICE
Beginning: (E) Mya pulls her notes together and takes them into Frank’s office. Someone else is in the office in the window –
Middle: (Mystery) (S) The figure is back lit so hard to see but a GLINT catches Mya’s eyes.
End: (Superior Position)(C) Catherine takes the file and tells Frank she will have another analyst look into it.
INT. TERRY’S DESK
Beginning: (Character changes) Terry gets a call, listens. Sees Mya and calls her over for a lesson.
Middle: (Betrayal)(S) Drops hints about Frank being desperate for money as his wife is ill.
End: (Mystery)(E) Terry is misleading Mya. Why?
INT. ORTEGA HOME – NIGHT
Stella has a doctor appointment for Mya.
Beginning: (misinformation)(C) They fight and Mya tells her that if she hadn’t left her in the park she wouldn’t be damaged.
Middle: (Intrigue)(E) Stella tells Mya she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
End: (Internal Dilemma)(S) Stella is fed up with Mya blaming her for everything.
INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM
Beginning: (Suspense) Mya sneaks Stella in.
Middle: (External Dilemma)(E) Mya is afraid what she will see. Starts to back out – and she could lose her job if they find out.
End: (Cliff hanger)(C) Stella insists.
INT. STELLA’S MIND
Beginning: (Reveal)(E) Mya goes through all the pain and issues that Stella has been hiding and handling on her own.
Middle: (Uncomfortable Moment)(SA)Mya is ashamed at how she’s been treating her sister… and finds the memory.
End: (Cliff Hanger) (H/F) We hope Mya can find what she is looking for we fear she won’t like what she sees.
EXT. MEMORY – PARK – DAY
Beginning: (Suspense) Stella and Mya play in the park. Stella wants to go home.
Middle: (Uncertainty)(C) Mya doesn’t. As Stella gathers their things Mya runs away from Stella.
End: (Major Twist)(SA) Mya feels the Panic and Despair that Stella went through.
INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM
Beginning: (Reveal)(E) Mya comes out of Stella’s mind.
Middle: (Uncomfortable Moment) Mya is racked with guilt.
End: (Major Twist)(H/F) Stella is tired and vacant – a standard reaction to being “hunted” We hope Stella is okay we fear she may not recover.
INT. HOSPITAL
Beginning: (Uncertainty)(E) Mya visits Jason as he is checked out. He will be on desk duty but will be back to work in the morning.
Middle: (Intrigue) (S) Mya tells him what she found out. Something’s off.
End: (Suspense)(H/F)She tells him she is set to go into an embezzlers mind in the morning. Jason is afraid for her to go into a memory hunt – he’s afraid something will happen.
INT. ORTEGA KITCHEN
Beginning: (Character Changes) Mya comes in Stella is at the table – they share a cup of tea and talk and hug it out the first time in a long time.
(S) Mya helps Stella for a change admitting she’s made Stella do everything.
Middle: (Internal Dilemma)(E) Mya admits her own part in her past problems.
End: (Reveal) (SA) Stella challenges her and Mya admits she knows its true because to can tell fake memories or if one has been altered.
INT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL OFFICES
Beginning: (Superior Position) Mya gets ready for her big assignment. Embezzler’s mind.
Middle: (Suspense)(E) Mya does her homework – knows what she is looking for and who the target is.
End: (Suspense) (H/F) We hope the incursion goes well but fear she is still new at what she is doing.
INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM
Beginning: (intrigue) Mya is surprised to see Terry there, but he’s there for her first big incursion.
Middle: (Suspense) (H/F) We hope Terry is there to help we fear he has ulterior motive. He tells them embezzler’s distract.
(SA) Mya goes from confident to worried based on Terry’s comments.
End: (Misinterpretation)(C) Mya with Terry that she is ready. She resents him babysitting.
INT. MIND
Beginning: (Uncertainty) Mya wanders hallways of a mind.
Middle: (Mislead/suspense)(E) She’s puzzled. SHE RECORDS HER FINDINGS – No office scenes no computers. It’s dark. SCREAMS and CRIES.
End: (Mystery/uncertainty) Where is she?
MONTAGE OF SHOTS
– Mya goes to help a cry sees a young girl badly battered – dressed like Victorian Dolls.
– Mya goes from room to room and see broken bodies
– Freddie calls her – Welcome Home
Beginning: (mislead)- (SA)Mya runs and see’s memories flash by her – including someone talking to Freddie and flash / Glint off a ring
Middle: (Reveal/betrayal/twist)- (S) Freddie delights in the hunt as he chases Mya through his mind and brags about each girl she see’s – and he was expecting her.
End: (Suspense)(H/F) We hope she can find a way out we are afraid she will be captured by Freddie.
INT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL OFFICES
Beginning: (Mystery)(E) Jason comes into office to check on Mya and sees the Embezzler – he’s alert and mouthy – not like someone who has had his mind searched.
Middle: (intrigue) (H/F) He hopes Mya decided not to do the incursion, he’s worried she went ahead with the incursion.
End: (Mystery/suspense) (S) Where is Mya?
INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM
Beginning: (Character Changes) Jason runs in – Terry is shocked and confirms Mya’s in Freddie’s mind.
Middle: (Mislead)(SA) Terry makes a “key” to help. Frank comes is there – why is he there?
End: (betrayal)(S) Is Terry really trying to help?
INT. FREDDIE’S MIND
Beginning: (Suspense) Terry sends “key” through the machine to Mya to unlocks the “gate”.
Middle: (External dilemma) (H/F) We hope the key will help we fear it won’t help her escape
End: (Cliff hanger)(SA) Mya has the “key” but throws it away when Freddie is upon her – if he gets the key he can escape his own mind and get into any one on the connection.
INT. FREDDIE’S MIND – SIDE ROOM
Beginning: (Interesting Setting) Mya slips into a side room to hide, finds a memory of a girl still alive – in pain, afraid, and broken.
Middle: (Internal Dilemma) Mya comforts the girl.
End: (Intrigue) Mya comes up with a plan to escape. She takes the memory the girls pain.
INT. FREDDIE’S MIND – CORRIDOR
Beginning: (Intrigue)(H/F) Mya runs in and out of various memory rooms.
Beginning: (Suspense) We hope she can find a way out and fear that she won’t.
End:(uncertainty)(SA) She gathers all the memories of the torture, the pain and the helplessness the victims felt.
INT. FREDDIE’S MIND – LARGE DOLL HOUSE
Beginning: (More interesting setting)(E) This is where Freddie takes the girls. Mya meets Freddie here.
Middle: (uncertainty)(C) She’s terrified and afraid. He taunts her.
End: (Surprise)(H/F) We hope when she gives him the memories of all the pain, the terror the horror that he inflicted on the others. Including his sister it will break Freddie. We fear it won’t.
Freddie breaks and crumbles from all the memories.
INT. FREDDIE’S MIND – BACK DOOR
Beginning: (Suspense)(SA) Mya must escape as the mind is collapsing.
Middle: (uncertainty) Freddie tries to follow her out.
End: (cliff hanger)(E) With seconds to spare she exits the back door.
INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM
Beginning: (Intrigue) Mya wakes, disoriented.
Middle: (Misinterpretation) (C) Sees Franks and accuses him of trying to kill her.
End: (Mystery)(E) Mya knows she was set up and doesn’t know who to trust.
INT. ORTEGA HOME
Beginning: (E) Mya recovers and learns that Frank is innocent.
Middle:
End:(SA) Jason tells her that Catherine had her desk cleared. She’s suspended.
INT. MYA ORTEGA’S BEDROOM
Beginning: (Internal Dilemma)(SA) Mya has a nightmare and knows she missed something in Freddie’s mind.
Middle: (Reveal)(E) Mya sees the glint/flash in her nightmare – why?
End: (Superior Position) Mya remembers where she has seen the “glint”/”Flash” before.
INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM
Beginning: (Suspense)(E) Mya and Jason break into the company.
Middle: (Mystery) Mya reviews her incursion in Freddie’s mind – and sees several other files of excursions into his mind – why?
End: (Reveal)(SA) she see’s the flash/glint from the ring. It’s a company RING. She tells Jason she has seen it before.
INT. COFFEE SHOP – NIGHT
Beginning: (misinterpretation) Mya and Jason meet Terry.
Middle: (Betrayal)(S)He implicates Catherine.
End: (reveal) (E)Mya sees Terry wears the company ring too.
EXT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL COMPANY – DAY
Beginning: (Superior Position)(SA) Mya and Jason ambush Frank and tell him she’s sorry but has info he needs.
Middle: (uncertainty)(E) Frank brushes her off.
End: (Reveal) Mya get’s franks attention when she tells him about the pre-incursions and being done under his ID.
INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM
Beginning: (uncomfortable moment)(E) Mya catches Terry in the Embezzler’s mind.
Middle: (surprise) Terry is making a deal to move the money before the SEC finds it.
End: (Reveal)(SA) Mya gets the memories she needs of the deals he made for himself and Catherine and how he was double dealing.
EXT. PRESS CONFERENCE
Beginning: (Suspense)(E) Catherine is at the podium announcing her candidacy for Senator.
Middle: (uncomfortable moment)(SA)Mya and Jason play the scenes from all the illegal deals they made with political criminals, embezzlers, white collar criminals etc.
End: (major twist) Catherine is escorted off by the FBI.
INT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL COMPANY
Beginning:(uncertainty) Mya and Jason are working with Frank to put new protocols in place based on Mya’s finding.
Middle: (superior position)(C) Mya confronts the son from earlier about his abuse, tells the wife where everything is so she and her mother-in-law can get away.
(E) Mya no longer looking for answers she had dealt with her past memories.
-
CJ’s Scene requirements
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: I continue to find ways to elevate and fix holes in the story and better to find now then write myself in a corner!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
INT. PRISTINE BASEMENT – NIGHT
An 8-year old girl cowers in a corner. Screams are heard.
Scene arc: Mya is little girl. The abductor comes retrieve her – she is chained to a dead body.
Conflict: Mya struggles to drag body to escape.
Hope/Fear: We hope she can get away we fear she won’t.
INT. MYA ORTEGA’S BEDROOM – DAY
Mya wakes from her nightmare. Headache and haggard.
Subtext: Mya has never dealt with her childhood trauma
Scene Arc: Mya goes from her nightmare into her ready to fight.
INT. ORTEGA KITCHEN – DAY
Mya and her sister argue about Mya seeing a doctor about brain tumor.
Essence: we establish that Mya needs help the doctor’s think the brain tumor is psychosomatic
Scene Arc: Mya is late for work and blames Stella for all her problems to avoid taking responsibility for her own actions.
Conflict: Mya doesn’t like Stella trying to be her mother.
Subtext: Mya blames Stella for her abduction when she was a child.
Hope/Fear: We hope Mya will get the tumor looked at but we are afraid she will continue to ignore it.
EXT. STREETS – DAY
Mya and her friend Jason get coffee and talk about work.
Conflict: Jason likes Mya but she brushes him off.
Hope/Fear: We hope Mya will like Jason but we fear that she won’t notice him.
Essence: Memory Retrieval Company is introduced.
EXT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL COMPANY
Mya arrives at work it’s a state of the art building with high tech abilities.
Essence: establishing state of the art technology
INT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL COMPANY
Mya drops her bag and is razzed by co-worker Terry.
Scene Arc: Mya arrives at work she’s late and rushes into a meeting with a family.
Conflict: Mya is intimidated by the son who wants to know where his mother hid the Will and Testament and jewelry.
Hope/Fear: We hope Mya stands up to him we fear for his mother and that Mya will help him..
Subtext: He is abusive with all females as his wife also demonstrates.
Essence: We learn how memory hunter works and the process.
INT. MYA’S DESK
Mya is secretly researching old memory hunts.
(E) Mya wants to find a way to hide her own memories
(H/F) We hope we finds an answer but fear she is just running away.
INT. ORTEGA HOME – NIGHT
Mya and Stella fight about doctor and Mya hints her anger with Stella.
(SA) Mya in denial about her dealing with her issue.
(C) Angry at her sister and blames Stella for all her issues.
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT
Mya and Jason hover board and bond over dysfunctional families.
(SA) Mya complains about her over-bearing sister and Jason has no one.
(E) Mya talks about what she hopes to get from Memory Hunters.
EXT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL COMPANY
Catherine holds a press conference and announces new government contract.
(E) Catherine is looking for public awareness
(C) A man abuses his dog – and Catherine intervenes – she cares about animals
(SA) Catherine takes time after the public contract announcement to hint at future aspirations.
INT. MYA’S DESK
Mya scours past cases and review memory files and see files not logged. She tries to open them and is locked out.
(E) Mya sorts through screens of memories looking for consistent patterns.
(SA) She goes from screening memories to researching new unlogged cases and is denied access
(C) Her access generates an ALARM
INT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL OFFICES – DAY
A commotion as a memory hunter is extracted from a mind – Freddie’s mind!
(S)Terry fill us in on Freddie – he knows more than he is telling.
(E) Who is Freddie and why is he there? Parents of a victim want closure
INT. CATHERINE’S OFFICE
Catherine calls Terry into her office. She’s received an ALERT that files are being illegally accessed.
(E) There is something going on between them
(SA) Catherine starts with business ends with sex
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT
Mya talks with Jason and tells him about her findings –
(SA) that the incursions are taking place BEFORE the scheduled incursion with the authorities present.
(E) Mya’s research almost gets her killed as she is run off the road and Jason is hurt.
INT. FRANK YORGEN’S OFFICE
(E) Mya pulls her notes together and takes them into Frank’s office. Someone else is in the office in the window –
(S) The figure is back lit so hard to see but a GLINT catches Mya’s eyes.
(C) Catherine takes the file and tells Frank she will have another analyst look into it.
INT. TERRY’S DESK
Terry gets a call, listens. Sees Mya and calls her over for a lesson.
(S) Drops hints about Frank being desperate for money as his wife is ill.
(E) Terry is misleading Mya
INT. ORTEGA HOME – NIGHT
Stella has a doctor appointment for Mya.
(C) They fight and Mya tells her that if she hadn’t left her in the park she wouldn’t be damaged.
(E) Stella tells Mya she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
(S) Stella is fed up with Mya blaming her for everything.
INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM
Mya sneaks Stella in.
(E) Mya is afraid what she will see. Starts to back out –
(C) Stella insists.
INT. STELLA’S MIND
(E) Mya goes through all the pain and issues that Stella has been hiding and handling on her own.
(SA)Mya is ashamed at how she’s been treating her sister… and finds the memory.
(H/F) We hope Mya can find what she is looking for we fear she won’t like what she sees.
EXT. MEMORY – PARK – DAY
Stella and Mya play in the park. Stella wants to go home.
(C) Mya doesn’t. As Stella gathers their things Mya runs away from Stella.
(SA) Mya feels the Panic and Despair that Stella went through.
INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM
(E) Mya comes out of Stella’s mind.
(H/F) Stella is tired and vacant – a standard reaction to being “hunted” We hope Stella is okay we fear she may not recover.
INT. HOSPITAL
(E) Mya visits Jason as he is checked out. He will be on desk duty but will be back to work in the morning.
(S) Mya tells him what she found out. Something’s off.
(H/F)She tells him she is set to go into an embezzlers mind in the morning. Jason is afraid for her to go into a memory hunt – he’s afraid something will happen.
INT. ORTEGA KITCHEN
Mya comes in Stella is at the table – they share a cup of tea and talk and hug it out the first time in a long time.
(S) Mya helps Stella for a change admitting she’s made Stella do everything.
(E) Mya admits her own part in her past/
(SA) Stella challenges her and Mya admits she knows its true because to can tell fake memories or if one has been altered.
INT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL OFFICES
Mya gets ready for her big assignment. Embezzler’s mind.
(E) Mya does her homework – knows what she is looking for and who the target is.
(H/F) We hope the incursion goes well but fear she is still new at what she is doing.
INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM
Mya is surprised to see Terry there, but he’s there for her first big incursion.
(H/F) We hope Terry is there to help we fear he has ulterior motive.
(SA) Mya goes from confident to worried based on Terry’s comments.
(C) Mya with Terry that she is ready. She resents him babysitting.
INT. MIND
Mya wanders hallways of a mind.
(E) She’s puzzled. SHE RECORDS HER FINDINGS – No office scenes no computers. It’s dark. SCREAMS and CRIES.
MONTAGE OF SHOTS
– Mya goes to help a cry sees a young girl badly battered
– Mya goes from room to room and see broken bodies
– Freddie calls her – Welcome Home
– (SA)Mya runs and see’s memories flash by her – including someone talking to Freddie and flash / Glint off a ring
– (S) Freddie delights in the hunt as he chases Mya through his mind and brags about each girl she see’s – and he was expecting her.
(H/F) We hope she can find a way out we are afraid she will be captured by Freddie.
INT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL OFFICES
(E) Jason comes into office to check on Mya and sees the Embezzler – he’s alert and mouthy – not like someone who has had his mind searched.
(H/F) He hopes Mya decided not to do the incursion, he’s worried she went ahead with the incursion.
(S) Where is Mya?
INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM
Jason runs in – Terry is shocked and confirms Mya’s in Freddie’s mind.
(SA) He makes a “key” to help.
(S) Frank comes is there – why is he there?
INT. FREDDIE’S MIND
(H/F) We hope the key will help we fear it won’t help her escape
(SA) Mya has the “key” but throws it away when Freddie is upon her – if he gets the key he can escape his own mind and get into any one on the connection.
INT. FREDDIE’S MIND – SIDE ROOM
Mya slips into a side room to hide, finds a memory of a girl still alive – in pain, afraid, and broken. Mya comforts the girl and takes the memory of the girls pain.
INT. FREDDIE’S MIND – CORRIDOR
(H/F) Mya runs in and out of various memory rooms. We hope she can find a way out and fear that she won’t.
(SA) She gathers all the memories of the torture, the pain and the helplessness the victims felt.
INT. FREDDIE’S MIND – LARGE ROOM
(E) This is where Freddie takes the girls. Mya meets Freddie here.
(C) She’s terrified and afraid. He taunts her.
(H/F) We hope when she gives him the memories of all the pain, the terror the horror that he inflicted on the others. Including his sister it will break Freddie. We fear it won’t.
Freddie breaks and crumbles from all the memories.
INT. FREDDIE’S MIND – BACK DOOR
(SA) Mya must escape as the mind is collapsing.
(E) With seconds to spare she exits the back door.
INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM
Mya wakes, disoriented.
(C) Sees Franks and accuses him of trying to kill her.
(E) Mya knows she was set up and doesn’t know who to trust
INT. ORTEGA HOME
(E) Mya recovers and learns that Frank is innocent.
(SA) Jason tells her that Catherine had her desk cleared. She’s suspended.
INT. MYA ORTEGA’S BEDROOM
(SA) Mya has a nightmare and knows she missed something in Freddie’s mind.
(E) Mya sees the glint/flash in her nightmare – why?
INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM
(E) Mya and Jason break into the company to review Mya’s incursion in Freddie’s mind –
(SA) she see’s the flash/glint from the ring. It’s a company RING. She tells Jason she has seen it before.
INT. COFFEE SHOP – NIGHT
Mya and Jason meet Terry.
(S)He implicates Catherine.
(E)Mya sees Terry wears the company ring too.
EXT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL COMPANY – DAY
(SA) Mya and Jason ambush Frank and tell him she’s sorry but has info he needs.
(E) Frank brushes her off until she tells him about the pre-incursions and being done under his ID.
INT. MEMORY INCURSION ROOM
(E) Mya catches Terry in the Embezzler’s mind.
(SA) And gets the memories she needs of the deals he made for he and Catherine and how he was double dealing.
EXT. PRESS CONFERENCE
(E) Catherine is at the podium announcing her candidacy for Senator.
(SA)Mya and Jason play the scenes from all the illegal deals they made with political criminals, embezzlers, white collar criminals etc.
INT. MEMORY RETRIEVAL COMPANY
(C) Mya confronts the son from earlier about his abuse, tells the wife where everything is so she and her mother-in-law can get away.
(E) Mya no longer looking for answers she had dealt with her past memories.
-
CJ’s Intriguing Moments
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: This was a fascinating process – I had to really distill the one sentence or two that describes the entire Act and it was really liberating to do so!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Give us a one sentence explanation of the intriguing moments in each Act of your project.
ACT 1
Mya suffers from a childhood trauma and refuses to deal with it.
Intrigue – why won’t Mya deal with her headaches / brain tumor<div>
Secret – Mya is searching the records of previous memory incursions
Covert agenda – Mya took the job to find a way to hide/run from her memories
Hidden identity – Catherine is using the company to fund her bid for the Senate
Conspiracy – Catherine makes deals with the criminals to hide their secrets
Scheme – Catherine and Terry scheme to
Superior position –
Cover up – Terry helps Catherine cover up their schemeMystery – What was Mya’s childhood trauma?
ACT 2
Mya has discovered unauthorized access to the system and is framed for the unauthorized access.
Intrigue – What is Mya looking for in the archives of the memory hunters?</div><div>
Secret – Mya discovers anomalies in the system access into high profile memory retrieval cases (political, embezzlers, and military subjects)
Covert agenda – Catherine is using the information to further her political agenda
Hidden identity – Terry is feeding information to Mya and working with Catherine
Conspiracy – Terry and Catherine plan to frame Mya for their crimes
Scheme –
Superior position –
Cover up – Mya is put into the mind of a psychopath
Mystery – How did she end up there and why?
ACT 3
Mya discovers she’s in the mind of a psychopath instead of the embezzler and must fight her way out – only to be fired
Intrigue – How did Mya end up in the wrong mind?</div><div>
Secret – Freddie is expecting Mya!
Covert agenda – What are they trying to cover up?
Hidden identity – Who is the psychopath? It’s the same psychopath to kidnapped Mya when she was 8!
Conspiracy – Terry and Catherine don’t expect Mya to survive Freddie’s mind
Scheme – Mya and Jason break into the facility to get the evidence they need
Superior position – We know the “key” that Terry makes to help Mya isn’t meant to help her but help Freddy escape!
Cover up – Catherine fires Mya for her “mistake” on going into the wrong mind
Mystery – How did she end up in the wrong mind?
ACT 4
Intrigue – Mya accuses Frank Yorgen as the culprit behind it all – she’s wrong!</div>
Secret – Mya remembers something from her own memory and the same person in Freddie’s mind
Covert agenda – Catherine uses the press as a means to announce her bid as Senator
Hidden identity – Catherine plays the innocent and then as Mya accuses Frank uses it against Mya to fire her.
Conspiracy – Mya and Jason get the information they need to expose Catherine
Scheme – Mya plans her own revenge on Terry and CatherineSuperior position –
Cover up –
Mystery – Mya uncovers the abuse of an elderly woman from the first act and confronts the son as the abuser.
-
CJ’s Emotional Moments
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: I have identified several areas and I know that there is more opportunity here. I will continue to dig into my outline for more opportunities.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Like the example, give us a one or two sentence explanation of the emotional moments in each act of your project.
Opening:
Set-Up: (Wounds) Mya has nightmares about her past.
Reveal: She works for a company that can find lost or stolen memories as well as ones that the people try to hide.
Set-up: Mya talks to a family looking for information of missing Will and Testament – the son is abusive. Mya sees it in her hunt for the missing memory and is intimidated by the son.
Reveal: Mya is new as a Memory Hunter
(Excitement) Mya explains the process
Act 1:
Set-up: (Emotional Dilemma) Mya’s sister tries to get Mya to the doctor. They fight and Mya implies it’s all Stella’s fault.
Reveal: Mya has headaches from a unique and rare brain tumor
(Bonding) Mya and her Friend Jason connect over dysfunctional families
Set-up: (Success/ Winning) Catherine announces based on a new Gov’t contract to assist the FBI she has been asked to run for Senator.
Act 2:
Set-up: Mya scours the records of past memory hunts.
Reveal: Mya is trying to find a way to block her own memory by learning what others have done.
(Distress) Mya can’t find the secret to blocking her own memories.
Set-up: (wound) Another Memory Hunter comes out of Freddie’s mind – traumatized and sent home. Terry tells Mya about Freddie’s history with his sister and why he is there.
Set-up: Catherine calls Terry to her office.
Reveal: Catherine and Terry are working together. Knowledge is power!
Set-up: (Moral issues) Mya finds anomalies in the records of unauthorized access to the subjects – Based on her unauthorized file searches
Reveal: The access occurs BEFORE their schedule incursion into the subjects’ minds.
Set-Up: (Betrayal) Terry drops hints about Frank being shady and owing money to the wrong people – Frank’s wife has been ill.
Reveal: Terry’s gathering information on all Memory Retrieval Employees
Act 3:
Set-up: (Wound) Mya accuses her sister of leaving her at the park where she was abducted
Reveal: (Love / Sacrifice / Surprise) Stella agrees to let Mya into her mind – Mya learns that it was SHE who ran away from her sister – her sister has been trying to protect her from the truth
Set-up: Mya is set to go into the mind of the OLD LADY (or embezzler)
Reveal: (Betrayal) She’s in the wrong mind! – She’s in the psycho’s mind and he was expecting her. No one knows she’s in there.
Jason is in the office and knows something is wrong. (Opportunity to have him work there too)
Set-up: (emotional dilemma) Terry has to acknowledge that Mya is in the wrong mind so he makes a KEY to help Mya out of back door.
Reveal: (Betrayal / Distress) The Key doesn’t work!
Set-Up: (Hidden weakness / Distress) Mya is in the mind of her abductor/tormentor! She sees a memory of Freddie in discussions – but doesn’t pay attention as she runs for her life through Freddie’s mind
Set-up: Mya must finally face her own past – she gathers the memories of the other victims – including her FIRST victim – his sister and finally adds her own memories.
Reveal: (Courage) Mya turns all the fear and pain back on to Freddie’ to live through all that he had done to others – his mind cracks and shuts down – Mya runs to the back door – to get out before the mind completely closes down.
Act 4:
Set-up: Mya accuses Frank of accessing the system for his own gain
Reveal: He is innocent
Set-up: (Sacrifice) Mya is suspended for misconduct and use of system (her sister) she doesn’t implicate Jason.
Set-up: (Bonding / Love?) Mya breaks into the company with Jason and reviews her own file and her time in Freddie’s mind
Reveal: (Excitement) Mya remembers when she first told Frank about strange anomalies – and recalls a FLASHY RING – someone else was in the office
Reveal: Mya remembers seeing the same FLASHY RING in Freddie’s Mind (this is an inconsistency – if Terry is accessing the minds on behalf of Catherine – how does Catherine and her Ring be part of Freddie’s memory – so need to work on this one!
NOTE: Could be a company ring – which is why she thinks it is FRANK – but Terry and Catherine also have ONE!
Betrayal – Terry implicates Catherine as the only one.
Set-up: (Bonding) Mya goes to Frank with her evidence from her own memories.
Reveal: Mya catches Terry in the mind of the embezzler making a deal – she transfer’s him to Freddie’s mind.
Reveal: (Winning/Success) Mya captures Terry and Catherine’s deals from the memories and plays them on the big screen behind Catherine as she calls a press conference to announce she’s running for Senate.
Ending:
Reveal/Payoff – (Courage) Mya confronts son from older woman from ACT 1 and stands her ground
-
CJ’s Reveals!
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: this really helped me to put order to my story and to elevate some of my reveals and set up!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
Assignment:
Opening:
Set-Up: Mya has nightmares about her past
Reveal: She works for a company that can find lost or stolen memories as well as ones that the person tries to hind.
Set-up: Mya talks to a family looking for information of missing Will and Testament – the son is abusive. Mya sees it in her hunt for the missing memory and is intimidated by the son.
Reveal: Mya is new as a Memory Hunter
Act 1:
Set-up: Mya’s sister tries to get Mya to the doctor.
Reveal: Mya has headaches from a unique and rare brain tumor
Set-up: Catherine announces a new Gov’t contract to assist the FBI
Act 2:
Set-up: Mya scours the records of past memory hunts
Reveal: Mya is trying to find a way to block her own memory by learning what others have done.
Set-up: Another Memory Hunter comes out of Freddie’s mind – traumatized and sent home. Terry tells Mya about Freddie’s history with his sister and why he is there.
Set-up: Catherine calls Terry to her office.
Reveal: Catherine and Terry are working together. Knowledge is pwer!
Set-up: Mya finds anomalies in the records of unauthorized access to the subjects
Reveal: The access occurs BEFORE their schedule incursion into the subjects’ minds.
Set-Up: Terry drops hints about Frank being shady and owing money to the wrong people – Frank’s wife has been ill.
Reveal: Terry is gathering information on all Memory Retrieval Employees
Act 3:
Set-up: Mya accuses her sister of leaving her at the park where she was abducted
Reveal: Stella agrees to let Mya into her mind – Mya learns that it was SHE who ran away from her sister – her sister has been trying to protect her from the truth
Set-up: Mya is set to go into the mind of the OLD LADY (or embezzler)
Reveal: She’s in the wrong mind! – She’s in the psycho’s mind and he was expecting her. No one knows she’s in there.
Set-up: Terry has to acknowledge that Mya is in the wrong mind so he makes a KEY to help Mya out of back door.
Reveal: The Key doesn’t work!
Set-Up: Mya is in the mind of her abductor/tormentor! She sees a memory of Freddie in discussions – but doesn’t pay attention as she runs for her life through Freddie’s mind
Set-up: Mya must finally face her own past – she gathers the memories of the other victims – including her FIRST victim – his sister and finally adds her own memories.
Reveal: Mya turns all the fear and pain back on to Freddie’ to live through all that he had done to others – his mind cracks and shuts down – Mya runs to the back door – to get out before the mind completely closes down.
Act 4:
Set-up: Mya accuses Frank of accessing the system for his own gain
Reveal: He is innocent
Set-up: Mya is fined and suspended for misconduct and use of system (her sister)
Set-up: Mya breaks into the company and reviews her own file and her time in Freddie’s mind
Reveal: Mya remembers when she first told Frank about strange anomalies – and recalls a FLASHY RING – someone else was in the office
Reveal: Mya remembers seeing the same FLASHY RING in Freddie’s Mind (this is an inconsistency – if Terry is access the minds on behalf of Catherine – how does Catherine and her Ring be part of Freddie’s memory – so need to work on this one!
NOTE: Could be a company ring – which is why she thinks it is FRANK – but Terry and Catherine also have ONE!
Set-up: Mya goes to Frank with her evidence from her own memories.
Reveal: Mya catches Terry in the mind of the embezzler making a deal – she transfer’s him to Freddie’s mind.
Reveal: Mya captures Terry and Catherine’s deal’s from the memories and plays them on the big screen behind Catherine as she calls a press conference to announce she’s running for Senate.
Ending:
Reveal/Payoff – Mya confronts son from older woman from ACT 1 and stands her ground
-
CJ’s Character Action Traits!
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: Still have a hole or two to smooth out but really like the “look back” and “look forward” approach – very powerful!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Work with one character at a time, doing a complete pass on their beats.
Select your Protagonist and go through the process above to make sure every beat has action that comes from their Profile:
MYA ORTEGA – Protagonist who is a junior memory hunter and using the company to find away to hide her own memories.
A. The High Concept. The protagonist – Mya’s role in the high concept is she is the memory hunter who finds herself inadvertently in the mind of the psychopath after she asks too many questions. <div>
B. This character’s journey. Mya goes from trying to hide from her past as an abused victim of a psychopath to learning to move beyond her past and not let it define her.
C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.
Role in the Story: Protagonist who goes from looking for a way to hide her childhood memories of abuse to learning that someone is making deals with the criminals.</div><div>
Age range and Description: mid-twenties – LatinoCore Traits: Naïve, afraid, practices avoidance
Motivation; Want/Need: Wants to find a way to hide or run from her own memories. Needs to find a way to move past them and not let them control her. Wound:
She is an only survivor from a psychopath and is haunted by the memories.
Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Likability: She’s kind to the subjects/patients coming in for a memory search
Relatability: We understand how she wants to run from her memories
· Empathy: She was abducted as a child by a psychopath and escaped
Deeper Character Profile
Character Subtext – Hiding something and withholding
Character Intrigue – hidden agenda (looking for a way to hide her own memories)
Flaw – Can’t look at their fears – undervalues themselves
Values – Family, loyalty, and truth
Character Dilemma – Pleases other versus independent / Wanting to be recognized versus just doing the right thing
Do the same with your Antagonist:
CATHERINE HARPIE – The antagonist – wants to stop Mya from uncovering her illegal activities
With each of your lead characters, first tell us the following:
A. The High Concept. Catherine’s role as antagonist is she has Mya deliberately placed in the psychopath’s mind to hind her activities. </div><div>
B. This character’s journey. From being confident and in charge to being worried she will be found out.
C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.
Role in the Story: Antagonist as CEO of the company
Age range and Description: Late 40’s
Core Traits: Confidant, conniving, duplicitous, vulnerable
Motivation; Want/Need: She wants to stay at the top as CEO by collecting blackmail info and money but needs to stop Mya from finding out her secret.
Wound: The board of Directors want to replace her with a younger man
Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Likability: She knows everyone by name and always has a ready smile </div><div>
Relatability: She’s trying to get ahead in a “Man’s world” – does well in the public eye
Empathy: She has a soft spot for animals
Deeper Character Profile:
Character Subtext – She’s deceitful and lying while being polite
Character Intrigue – hidden agenda as she gather’s secrets and money
Flaw – Over confidence and dominating
Values – Looks after old people and animals and doesn’t trust anyone else
Character Dilemma – wants to prove herself in a “Male dominated world” but feels unworthy
If there is a Triangle character, do the process with that character:
TERRY SULLIVAN
With each of your lead characters, first tell us the following:
A. The High Concept. Terry switches the machine to place Mya into Freddie’s mind instead of the embezzler.</div><div>
B. This character’s journey. – From being Catherine’s lacky and pretending to be Mya’s friend and mentor to trying to steal all the money / info from Catherine.
C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.
Role in the Story: Supporting role to Antagonist</div><div>
Age range and Description: late 30’s nerdy good looking
Core Traits: Friendly, helpful, conceited, controlling
Motivation; Want/Need: Wants to win at any cost and needs to control others and the situation.
Wound: He wants to head the project and believes he’s been wrongly passed overLikability, Relatability, Empathy:
Deeper Character traits:
Character Subtext – seduction and lying
Character Intrigue – conspiracies and secrets
Flaw – can’t take risks and cowardice
Values – Winning and being his best
Character Dilemma – Winner versus loser
Opening scene – Nightmare – Mya 8 yrs old – kidnapped – current favorite of the psycho while he tortures others – he makes her watch so she knows what will happen to her. Psycho BRANDS his victims.
PJ Beginning: Mya wakes from nightmare – headache / disoriented – fights with her sister and refuses to deal with her childhood trauma to the point she has a brain tumor. Her sister wants her to go to a specialist for treatment.
Mya tells her sister she will go doctors – she throws the phone number away before she meets Jason. Lies about why she looks so tired.
Mya meets with JASON friend on hover boards – he helps her focus and “knows” her – she turns to him for support on way to work
Mya works for Memory Retrieval company –
Surface Layer: Mya helps others recover lost memories to find family heirlooms, documents even some companies to help find where money has been “stashed” and acct numbers to retrieve the embezzled money.
Mya and Terry discuss techniques as Mya tries to learn the complexities of minds that know they are being ‘searched’ – more work to differentiate between REAL vs Fake – VS implanted phony memories – yes that is now a thing
Terry relates a story where a subject threw naked women at him – not know he was gay trying to hide his information. (Fun scene – but was originally going to have Terry be Catherine’s lover – maybe he is Bi- and this is how he fools Mya!)
Mya stays late to search files – when Terry comes in – she flips the screen. – NEED TO SOMETHING MORE – Mya breaks into locked room – files for gov’t officials to learn how they hide memories.
AJ Beginning: Catherine gives press conference in break through tech- She calls on Press officials by name – makes personal connections – announces new contract with FBI -during press conference she saves a dog from an abusive owner
PJ Inciting Incident: Mya finds anomalies in the system logs where criminals are being visited off hours
Deeper Layer: Mya is looking for a way to forget her childhood traumatic memories when she was abducted by psychopath and tortured – she eventually escaped but not before seeing those who died before her and heard their cries / pleas.
Terry explains that according to their records – FREDDY was abused and tortured by his sister.
Another Experienced MH (Memory hunter) comes out of the mind of the psychopath – he is shattered – sick… mind almost broken… SETS STAGE!
Mya “watches” some of the recording from the other MH – she has a flashback and a breakdown from her own memories.
Mya pulls more records and sees a pattern of unauthorized access.
AJ Inciting Incident: She overhears Mya confront her boss Frank Yorgen about the log anomalies – Catherine steps in and buries the reports
Catherine call Terry to her office – they discuss future opportunities…. In a way that only later provides more background. – COVER THEIR TRACKS
Mya meets with a family – She explains the process – the 3 rules of memory hunting – basics etc… The son is frustrated with his mother; she’s forgotten where the Will and Testament and family valuables are – he is rude and threatening to Mya – Mya backs down and avoids confrontation.
Influences Surface Story: Mya studies the logs and videos to learn how subjects have hidden their memories so she can learn how to “hide” her memories
PJ Turning Point 1: Mya keeps digging – a corp memo comes out indicating that there are unauthorized accesses to the system but the records are pointing to her access.
Mya goes into the old woman’s mind – see’s the son’s abuse of him mother
AJ Turning Point 1: Catherine moves Mya’s training up to more aggressive criminals / minds
Hints: Why Mya is scouring the logs – her conversations with Terry the Sr. on the team. Why would someone access a mind outside protocol? Terry drops hints to mislead Mya.Terry is working with Catherine – he drops hints about the logs and Frank- as a red herring
Act 2: Catherine decides to use her access to set Mya up as the one wrongfully using the system
Catherine makes a big deal in the press – she loves the attention and how sympathetic she is –
Hints: Why Mya is scouring the logs – her conversations with Terry the Sr. on the team.
PJ Act 2: Mya fights back by proving she wasn’t at work when her access was used – but it costs her – she was at the doctor’s for the brain tumor and that comes out
PJ Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Mya is put in the mind of a psychopath – She runs / she hides – he taunts her – calls her his “sister’s name” – Mya tries to say her name… but realizes that he’s so insane… so she tries being his “sister” and tries to control his actions.
AJ Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Mya has Terry switch Mya from embezzler to Psychopath
PJ Act 3: Mya must face her fears from her childhood
Major Reveal: The psychopath is the one who kidnapped her as a child, and she is the only living survivor – he has made a deal to finally get the one who got away in return he eliminates the CEO’s problem.
Mya sees where psycho was tormented by his sister – driving him to seek vengeance on young girls who looked like his sister –
It is discovered that Mya is in the wrong mind.
Terry tries to pull Mya out of Freddie’s mind – he provides a KEY but Freddie is too close so Mya throws the key away to keep Freddie from escaping.
Mya confronts her own memories – She begins gathering memories from the other victims in Freddie’s mind – she gathers their memories – their pain… and her memories and pain –
Then she finds the one that is deeply hidden… where Freddie kills his sister to keep her from revealing his truth. – THIS IS HOW SHE FIGHTS BACK AND ESCAPES from Freddie’s mind.
At first Mya tries to make amends as “sister” but realizes that he was broken even as a child the sister was the one who saw it – he killed her for it – he continues to kill girls like her to stop her from telling on him
Using this plus her own experience – Mya pushes back and turns the psycho’s mind back on himself – all the inadequacies that his sister called out – back on him
PJ Turning Point 3: Mya fights back and destroys the mind of the psychopath
Changes Reality: When she comes face to face with the psychopath she initially spirals out of control and then learns she must face her memories and deal with them to be able to move past them.
Act 3: Catherine reports Mya as incompetent and Mya’s fault she went into the wrong mind after Mya survives – disoriented Mya is sent home on suspension pending review… Jason is there to help center her.
Jason helps Mya to break into the system
Hints – Mya is misled by Terry’s comments which points her to accuse FrankChange in Reality – Mya must face her childhood and use that to save herself
PJ Act 4 Climax: Mya confronts Frank Yorgen at a press conference – and is proven wrong.
PJ Turning Point 3: Catherine uses Mya’s accusation of Frank against her – fires Mya
AJ Act 4 Climax: Mya confronts Catherine – who thinks she’s gotten away with it
Mya remembers something from her own experience in Freddie’s mind – when she first took the reported anomalies into Frank – someone else was in the room – Catherine
Then there is a flashback to a memory she saw in Freddie’s mind – she thought it was the first MH but in talking with Terry she realizes it was Terry talking with Freddie and a deal was being struck.
PJ Resolution: Mya remembers a memory from psychopath’s mind and realizes that it was Terry and CEO – she sends Terry into destroyed mind of Psychopath and destroys CEO. (what does that mean- need to define)
AJ Resolution: Catherine is exposed to the media – destroying Catherine in the Media is key
</div>
-
CJ’s New Outline Beats
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: Still have a hole or two to smooth out but really like the “look back” and “look forward” approach – very powerful!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
Assignment
Opening scene – Nightmare – Mya 8 yrs old – kidnapped – current favorite of the psycho while he tortures others – he makes her watch so she knows what will happen to her. Psycho BRANDS his victims.
PJ Beginning: Mya wakes from nightmare – headache / disoriented – fights with her sister and refuses to deal with her childhood trauma to the point she has a brain tumor. Her sister wants her to go back to the doctor for treatment.
Mya meets with JASON friend on hover boards – he helps her focus and “knows” her – she turns to him for support on way to work
Mya works for Memory Retrieval company –
Surface Layer: Mya helps others recover lost memories to find family heirlooms, documents even some companies to help find where money has been “stashed” and acct numbers to retrieve the embezzled money.
Mya and Terry discuss techniques as Mya tries to learn the complexities of minds that know they are being ‘searched’ – more work to differentiate between REAL vs Fake – VS implanted phony memories – yes that is now a thing
Terry relates a story where a subject threw naked women at him – not know he was gay trying to hide his information. (Fun scene – but was originally going to have Terry be Catherine’s lover – maybe he is Bi- and this is how he fools Mya!)
AJ Beginning: Catherine gives press conference in break through tech – announces new contract with FBI -during press conference she saves a dog from an abusive owner
PJ Inciting Incident: Mya finds anomalies in the system logs where criminals are being visited off hours
Deeper Layer: Mya is looking for a way to forget her childhood traumatic memories when she was abducted by psychopath and tortured – she eventually escaped but not before seeing those who died before her and heard their cries / pleas.
Another Experienced MH (Memory hunter) comes out of the mind of the psychopath – he is shattered – sick… mind almost broken… SETs STAGE!
AJ Inciting Incident: She overhears Mya confront her boss Frank Yorgen about the log anomalies – Catherine steps in and buries the reports
Catherine call Terry to her office – they discuss future opportunities…. In a way that only later provides more background. – COVER THEIR TRACKS
Mya meets with a family – She explains the process – the 3 rules of memory hunting – basics etc… The son is frustrated with his mother; she’s forgotten where the Will and Testament and family valuables are – he is rude and threatening to Mya
Influences Surface Story: Mya studies the logs and videos to learn how subjects have hidden their memories so she can learn how to “hide” her memories
PJ Turning Point 1: Mya keeps digging and her sister is kidnapped/ threatened that Mya needs to back off. – THIS STILL NEEDS WORK – TOO OBVIOUS TO DO THIS….
Mya goes into the old woman’s mind – see’s the son’s abuse of him mother
AJ Turning Point 1: Catherine moves Mya’s training up to more aggressive criminals / minds
Hints: Why Mya is scouring the logs – her conversations with Terry the Sr. on the team. Why would someone access a mind outside protocol? Terry drops hints to mislead Mya.Terry is working with Catherine – he drops hints about the logs and Frank- as a red herring
Act 2: Catherine decides to use her access to set Mya up as the one wrongfully using the system
Hints: Why Mya is scouring the logs – her conversations with Terry the Sr. on the team.
PJ Act 2: Mya fights back by proving she wasn’t at work when her access was used – but it costs her – she was at the doctor’s for the brain tumor and that comes out
PJ Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Mya is put in the mind of a psychopath
AJ Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Mya has Terry switch Mya from embezzler to Psychopath
PJ Act 3: Mya must face her fears from her childhood
Major Reveal: The psychopath is the one who kidnapped her as a child, and she is the only living survivor – he has made a deal to finally get the one who got away in return he eliminates the CEO’s problem.
Mya sees where psycho was tormented by his sister – driving him to seek vengeance on young girls who looked like his sister –
At first Mya tries to make amends as “sister” but realizes that he was broken even as a child the sister was the one who saw it – he killed her for it – he continues to kill girls like her to stop her from telling on him
Using this plus her own experience – Mya pushes back and turns the psycho’s mind back on himself – all the inadequacies that his sister called out – back on him
PJ Turning Point 3: Mya fights back and destroys the mind of the psychopath
Changes Reality: When she comes face to face with the psychopath she initially spirals out of control and then learns she must face her memories and deal with them to be able to move past them.
Act 3: Catherine reports Mya as incompetent and Mya’s fault she went into the wrong mind after Mya survives – disoriented Mya is sent home on suspension pending review… Jason is there to help center her.
Jason helps Mya to break into the system
Hints – Mya is misled by Terry’s comments which points her to accuse FrankChange in Reality – Mya must face her childhood and use that to save herself
PJ Act 4 Climax: Mya confronts Frank Yorgen at a press conference – and is proven wrong.
Mya remembers something from her own experience – when she first took the reported anomalies into Frank – someone else was in the room – Catherine
PJ Turning Point 3: Catherine uses Mya’s accusation of Frank against her – fires Mya
AJ Act 4 Climax: Mya confronts Catherine – who thinks she’s gotten away with it
PJ Resolution: Mya remembers a memory from psychopath’s mind and realizes that it was Terry and CEO – she sends Terry into destroyed mind of Psychopath and destroys CEO. (what does that mean- need to define)
AJ Resolution: Catherine is exposed to the media
-
CJ’s Beat Sheet- Draft 1
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: That my PJ and AJ didn’t align as well as I thought so need to work through the flow to make sure the beats are in alignment.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Starting with your 4-Act Structure, add the following components into your story to create the first draft of your Beat Sheet.
Genre Conventions
After you fill in the blanks on your Beat Sheet, go back and do a quick pass to make sure they flow well.
PJ Beginning: Mya fights with her sister and refuses to deal with her childhood trauma to the point she has a brain tumor. Her sister wants her to see the doctor.
Surface Layer: Mya helps others recover lost memories to find family heirlooms, documents even some companies to help find where money has been “stashed” and acct numbers to retrieve the embezzled money.
AJ Beginning: Catherine gives press conference in break through tech – announces new contract with FBI – first subject psychopath -during press conference she saves a dog from an abusive owner
PJ Inciting Incident: Mya finds anomalies in the system logs where criminals are being visited off hours
Deeper Layer: Mya is looking for a way to forget her childhood traumatic memories when she was abducted by psychopath and tortured – she eventually escaped but not before seeing those who died before her and heard their cries / pleas.<div>
<div>
AJ Inciting Incident: She overhears Mya confront her boss Frank Yorgen about the log anomalies – Catherine steps in and buries the reports
Influences Surface Story: Mya studies the logs and videos to learn how subjects have hidden their memories so she can learn how to “hide” her memories</div><div>
PJ Turning Point 1: Mya keeps digging and her sister is kidnapped/ threatened that Mya needs to back off
AJ Turning Point 1: Catherine moves Mya’s training up to more aggressive criminals / minds
Hints: Why Mya is scouring the logs – her conversations with Terry the Sr. on the team.Terry is working with Catherine – he drops hints about the logs and Frank- as a red herring</div><div>
Act 2: Catherine decides to use her access to set her up as the one wrongfully using the system
Hints: Why Mya is scouring the logs – her conversations with Terry the Sr. on the team.</div><div>
PJ Act 2: Mya fights back by proving she wasn’t at work when her access was used – but it costs her – she was at the doctor’s for the brain tumor and that comes out
PJ Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Mya is put in the mind of a psychopath
AJ Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Mya has Terry switch Mya from embezzler to Psychopath
PJ Act 3: Mya must face her fears from her childhood
Major Reveal: The psychopath is the one who kidnapped her as a child, and she is the only living survivor – he has made a deal to finally get the one who got away in return he eliminates the CEO’s problem.</div><div>
PJ Turning Point 3: Mya fights back and destroys the mind of the psychopath
Changes Reality: When she comes face to face with the psychopath she initially spirals out of control and then learns she must face her memories and deal with them to be able to move past them.</div><div>
Act 3: Catherine reports Mya as incompetent and her fault after Mya survives
Hints – Mya is misled by Terry’s comments which points her to accuse </div><div>
Change in Reality – Mya must face her childhood and use that to save herself
PJ Act 4 Climax: Mya confronts Frank Yorgen and is proven wrong
PJ Turning Point 3: Catherine uses Mya’s accusation of Frank against her
AJ Act 4 Climax: Mya confronts Catherine – who thinks she’s gotten away with it
PJ Resolution: Mya remembers a memory from psychopath’s mind and realizes that it was Terry and CEO – she sends Terry into destroyed mind of Psychopath and destroys CEO.
AJ Resolution: Catherine is exposed to the media
</div></div>
-
CJ’s Deeper Layer!
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: Valuable lesson to look beyond what is seen on the surface and more importantly to make sure you plan for it… plant it… and develop it so while it can be unexpected it isn’t really a surprise.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
As we did above with The Sixth Sense, create each piece of this “Deeper Layer” puzzle.
Surface Layer: Mya helps others recover lost memories to find family heirlooms, documents even some companies to help find where money has been “stashed” and acct numbers to retrieve the embezzled money. <div><div>
Deeper Layer: Mya is looking for a way to forget her childhood traumatic memories when she was abducted by psychopath and tortured – she eventually escaped but not before seeing those who died before her and heard their cries / pleas.
Major Reveal: The psychopath is the one who kidnapped her as a child, and she is the only living survivor – he has made a deal to finally get the one who got away in return he eliminates the CEO’s problem.
Influences Surface Story: Mya studies the logs and videos to learn how subjects have hidden their memories so she can learn how to “hide” her memories
Hints: Why Mya is scouring the logs – her conversations with Terry the Sr. on the team.
Changes Reality: When she comes face to face with the psychopath she initially spirals out of control and then learns she must face her memories and deal with them to be able to move past them.
Add the rest of the structure to the characters to the script. Try to get to the point as we’ve done in the Iron Man example above.
Protagonist: Mya Ortega
Beginning: Mya refuses to deal with her childhood trauma to the point she has a brain tumor.</div>
Surface Layer – Mya helps others with the lost / hidden / or missing memories but refuses to face her own.
Inciting Incident: Mya finds anomalies in the system logs where criminals are being visited off hours
Deeper Layer – Mya looking for way to forget her childhood
Turning Point 1: Mya is threatened (NEW?) Maybe her sister s kidnapped?
Act 2: Mya fights back
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Mya is put in the mind of a psychopath
Major Reveal – Mya is put into the mind of the psychopath she escaped from as a child
Act 3: Mya must face her fears from her childhood
Turning Point 3: Mya fights back and destroys the mind of the psychopath
Change in Reality – Mya must face her childhood and use that to save herself
Act 4 Climax: Mya confronts Frank Yorgen and is proven wrong
Hints – Mya is misled by Terry’s comments which points her to accuse
Resolution: Mya remembers a memory from psychopath’s mind and realizes that it was Terry and CEO – she sends Terry into destroyed mind of Psychopath and destroys CEO.
</div>
-
CJ’s Characters Structure
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: As I laid this out – I realized that I have some holes in the outline – I have made some notes/ suggestions and know that it is an area I want to continue to review and elevate.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ASSIGNMENT
Start with the Protagonist and your source material. Create a beginning, middle, and end of the character’s story.
Add the rest of the structure to the characters to the script. Try to get to the point as we’ve done in the Iron Man example above.
Protagonist: Mya Ortega
Beginning: Mya refuses to deal with her childhood trauma to the point she has a brain tumor.
Inciting Incident: Mya finds anomalies in the system logs where criminals are being visited off hours
Turning Point 1: Mya is threatened (NEW?) Maybe her sister s kidnapped?
Act 2: Mya fights back
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Mya is put in the mind of a psychopath
Act 3: Mya must face her fears from her childhood
Turning Point 3: Mya fights back and destroys the mind of the psychopath
Act 4 Climax: Mya confronts Frank Yorgen and is proven wrong
Resolution: Mya remembers a memory from psychopath’s mind and realizes that it was Terry and CEO – she sends Terry into destroyed mind of Psychopath and destroys CEO.
Antagonist. – Dr. Catherine Harpie
Beginning: Catherine gives press conference in break through tech – announces new contract with FBI – first subject psychopath -she saves a dog from an abusive owner
Inciting Incident: She overhears Mya confront her boss Frank Yorgen about the log anomalies – Catherine steps in and buries the reports
Turning Point 1: Catherine moves Mya’s training up
Act 2: Catherine has Mya threatened to back off
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Mya has Terry switch Mya from embezzler to Psychopath
Act 3: Catherine reports Mya as incompetent and her fault after Mya survives
Turning Point 3: Catherine uses Mya’s accusation of Frank against her
Act 4 Climax: Mya confronts Catherine – who thinks she’s gotten away with it
Resolution: Catherine is exposed to the media
-
CJ’s Supporting characters
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: I found that learning the “purpose” and the “value” and how they can help move the story through their nuances invaluable.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Tell us about your supporting and background characters.
Supporting Characters: Freddie Detten<div>
Terry Sullivan
Mya’s Sister – Stella Ortega
Mya’s friend – Jeremy
Background Characters:
Technicians
Coffee shop
Others having memories hunted – families
Criminals hiding secrets / money
Focusing on those supporting characters, fill in the basic profile for each.
Support 1:
Name: Terry Sullivan</div><div>
Role: Lead Memory Hunter Technician and CEO’s lover
Main purpose: To set Mya up at CEO’s request to hide their underhanded dealings
Value: Important to story
Support 2:
Name: Freddie Detten</div><div>
Role: Psychopath – responsible or Mya’s wound and working with CEO
Main purpose: To terrorize and kill Mya
Value: Important to eliminate Mya as a threat and make it look like an accident
Support 3:
Name: Stella Ortega</div><div>
Role: Sister and worries about Mya
Main purpose: A source of frustration for Mya
Value: Provide more background on Mya’s condition
Support 4:
Name: Jeremy</div>
Role: Friend and possible love interest in Mya
Main purpose: Sounding board for Mya
Value: Adds some comic relief in tense moments
-
CJ’s Character Profiles Part 2
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: I was initially making this harder than I needed to – LOL – but had a breakthrough!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
With each of your lead characters, first tell us the following:
MYA ORTEGA – Protagonist who is a junior memory hunter and using the company to find away to hide her own memories.
A. The High Concept. The protagonist – Mya’s role in the high concept is she is the memory hunter who finds herself inadvertently in the mind of the psychopath after she asks too many questions. B. This character’s journey. Mya goes from trying to hide from her past as an abused victim of a psychopath to learning to move beyond her past and not let it define her.C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.
Role in the Story: Protagonist who goes from looking for a way to hide her childhood memories of abuse to learning that someone is making deals with the criminals.Age range and Description: mid-twenties – LatinoCore Traits: Naïve, afraid, practices avoidanceMotivation; Want/Need: Wants to find a way to hide or run from her own memories. Needs to find a way to move past them and not let them control her. Wound: She is an only survivor from a psychopath and is haunted by the memories.Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Likability: She’s kind to the subjects/patients coming in for a memory searchRelatability: We understand how she wants to run from her memories
· Empathy: She was abducted as a child by a psychopath and escaped
Deeper Character Profile
Character Subtext – Hiding something and withholding
Character Intrigue – hidden agenda (looking for a way to hide her own memories)
Flaw – Can’t look at their fears – undervalues themselves
Values – Family, loyalty, and truth
Character Dilemma – Pleases other versus independent / Wanting to be recognized versus just doing the right thing
CATHERINE HARPIE – The antagonist – wants to stop Mya from uncovering her illegal activities
With each of your lead characters, first tell us the following:
A. The High Concept. Catherine’s role as antagonist is she has Mya deliberately placed in the psychopath’s mind to hind her activities. B. This character’s journey. From being confident and in charge to being worried she will be found out to being found out.C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.
Role in the Story: Antagonist as CEO of the company
Age range and Description: Late 40’s
Core Traits: Confidant, conniving, duplicitous, vulnerable
Motivation; Want/Need: She wants to stay at the top as CEO by collecting blackmail info and money but needs to stop Mya from finding out her secret.
Wound: The board of Directors want to replace her with a younger man
Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Likability: She knows everyone by name and always has a ready smile Relatability: She’s trying to get ahead in a “Man’s world” – does well in the public eyeEmpathy: She has a soft spot for animals
Deeper Character Profile:
Character Subtext – She’s deceitful and lying while being polite
Character Intrigue – hidden agenda as she gather’s secrets and money
Flaw – Over confidence and dominating
Values – Looks after old people and animals and doesn’t trust anyone else
Character Dilemma – wants to prove herself in a “Male dominated world” but feels unworthy
ALFRED “FREDDIE” DETTON
With each of your lead characters, first tell us the following:
A. The High Concept. – Freddie is the mind that is meant to kill Mya’s to keep her from finding out about Catherine’s illegal activities.B. This character’s journey. – He wants revenge for Mya being the only one to get away and she is the one most like his sister who used to torment him.C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.
Role in the Story: Supporting role – psychopath
Age range and Description: 60’s, talks to his sister likes she’s standing there
Core Traits: Focused, cynical, devious
Motivation; Want/Need: Wants to keep on killing girls who remind him of sister so he can keep on punishing her for her tormenting him as a child. Needs to get free to keep killing.
Wound: His sister used to torment and humiliate him
Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Character Subtext – plotting – Wants to be better than his sister and the only way he can do that is to torment young girls
Character Intrigue – Unspoken wound
Flaw – Cowardice and over does things
Values – Winning (being better than his sister)
Character Dilemma – wants to rid himself of his memories of his own torment but can only act out his demons on others
TERRY SULLIVAN
With each of your lead characters, first tell us the following:
A. The High Concept. Terry switches the machine to place Mya into Freddie’s mind instead of the embezzler.B. This character’s journey. – From being Catherine’s lacky and pretending to be Mya’s friend and mentor to trying to steal all the money / info from Catherine.C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.
Role in the Story: Supporting role to AntagonistAge range and Description: late 30’s nerdy good lookingCore Traits: Friendly, helpful, conceited, controllingMotivation; Want/Need: Wants to win at any cost and needs to control others and the situation. Wound: He wants to head the project and believes he’s been wrongly passed overLikability, Relatability, Empathy:
Deeper Character traits:
Character Subtext – seduction and lying
Character Intrigue – conspiracies and secrets
Flaw – can’t take risks and cowardice
Values – Winning and being his best
Character Dilemma – Winner versus loser
-
CJ’s Character Profiles Part 1
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: it is very important to dig deep into the character so you can write dialogue and action that comes from the unique core that is the character
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
With each of your lead characters, first tell us the following:
MYA ORTEGA – Protagonist who is a junior memory hunter and using the company to find away to hide her own memories.
A. The High Concept. The protagonist – Mya’s role in the high concept is she is the memory hunter who finds herself inadvertently in the mind of the psychopath after she asks too many questions. <div>
B. This character’s journey. Mya goes from trying to hide from her past as an abused victim of a psychopath to learning to move beyond her past and not let it define her.
C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.
Role in the Story: Protagonist who goes from looking for a way to hide her childhood memories of abuse to learning that someone is making deals with the criminals.<div>
Age range and Description: mid-twenties – LatinoCore Traits: Naïve, afraid, practices avoidance
Motivation; Want/Need: Wants to find a way to hide or run from her own memories. Needs to find a way to move past them and not let them control her.
Wound: She is an only survivor from a psychopath and is haunted by the memories.
Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Likability: She’s kind to the subjects/patients coming in for a memory search
Relatability: We understand how she wants to run from her memories
Empathy: She was abducted as a child by a psychopath and escaped
CATHERINE HARPIE – The antagonist – wants to stop Mya from uncovering her illegal activities
With each of your lead characters, first tell us the following:
A. The High Concept. Catherine’s role as antagonist is she has Mya deliberately placed in the psychopath’s mind to hind her activities. </div><div>
B. This character’s journey. From being confident and in charge to being worried she will be found out to being found out.
C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.
Role in the Story: Antagonist as CEO of the company
Age range and Description: Late 40’s
Core Traits: Confidant, conniving, duplicitous, vulnerable
Motivation; Want/Need: She wants to stay at the top as CEO by collecting blackmail info and money but needs to stop Mya from finding out her secret.
Wound: The board of Directors want to replace her with a younger man
Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Likability: She knows everyone by name and always has a ready smile </div><div>
Relatability: She’s trying to get ahead in a “Man’s world” – does well in the public eye
Empathy: She has a soft spot for animals
ALFRED “FREDDIE” DETTON
With each of your lead characters, first tell us the following:
A. The High Concept. – Freddie is the mind that is meant to kill Mya’s to keep her from finding out about Catherine’s illegal activities.</div><div>
B. This character’s journey. – He wants revenge for Mya being the only one to get away and she is the one most like his sister who used to torment him.
C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.
Role in the Story: Supporting role – psychopath
Age range and Description: 60’s, talks to his sister likes she’s standing there
Core Traits: Focused, cynical, devious
Motivation; Want/Need: Wants to keep on killing girls who remind him of sister so he can keep on punishing her for her tormenting him as a child. Needs to get free to keep killing.
Wound: His sister used to torment and humiliate him
Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
TERRY SULLIVAN
With each of your lead characters, first tell us the following:
A. The High Concept. Terry switches the machine to place Mya into Freddie’s mind instead of the embezzler.</div><div>
B. This character’s journey. – From being Catherine’s lacky and pretending to be Mya’s friend and mentor to trying to steal all the money / info from Catherine.
C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.
Role in the Story: Supporting role to Antagonist</div>
Age range and Description: late 30’s nerdy good looking
Core Traits: Friendly, helpful, conceited, controlling
Motivation; Want/Need: Wants to win at an cost and needs to control others and the situation. Wound: He wants to head the project and believes he’s been wrongly passed overLikability, Relatability, Empathy:
</div>
-
CJ’s Likability /Relatability / Empathy
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: It is good to keep the audience in mind and remember to bring them along for the ride – and believe in the characters needs and wants
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Brainstorm one or more ways you can present your Protagonist through each of these:
Likability: She’s kind to the subjects/patients coming in for a memory search<div>
Relatability: We understand how she wants to run from her memories
Empathy: She was abducted as a child by a psychopath and escaped
Just to get the experience, give us one or more ways that your Antagonist could be presented through each of these:
Likability: She looks after her sister</div>
Relatability: She’s looking for answers and eager to prove herself in her job
Empathy: She’s naïve and trusting of her partner
-
CJ’s Character Intrigue
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: Understanding the subtle differences and making sure that we flesh out our top two characters and not let the supporting characters overshadow the main characters.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
For each of your main characters, use this list to brainstorm one or more Intrigue items that might apply. You don’t need all of them; just one or two.
Character Name: MYA ORTEGA<div>
Role: Protagonist – Junior Memory hunter
Hidden agendas: She joined the company to learn how to hide her horrific past / memories
Competition:Conspiracies:Secrets: She is haunted by memories from her past from being abducted by a psychopath when she was 8.
Deception: She deceives her partner, Terry and the company on her real ambition.
Unspoken Wound: She was previously abducted by a psychopath – and is the only one who escaped and lived.
Secret Identity:
Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie.
She volunteers to take on extra memory hunting assignments – looking to learn how other deceive themselves and learn how to hide memories.
Character Name: DR. CATHERINE HARPIE </div><div>
Role: Antagonist – CEO of the Memory Retrievalists
Hidden agendas: She is quietly making deals with the criminals to line her own pockets
Competition:Conspiracies: She conspires with Terry to obtain the criminal’s secrets
Secrets:
Deception: She deceives the public with the company’s motto to help all
Unspoken Wound: Her father killed her pet in front of her
Secret Identity: She grew up poor with a father with an anger issue – who killed her pet – so she has a secret soft spot for animals and funds animal shelters and doesn’t like people / men.
Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie.
Her secret soft spot for animals makes her appear more human and likable.
Character Name: ALFRED “FREDDIE” DETTON</div><div>
Role: supporting role – the psychopath
Hidden agendas: he NEEDS to terrorize young girls that look like his sister who tormented him as a youth.
Competition: Time – can he conquer Mya and break her mind before she escapes again, and his mind is destroyed.
Conspiracies: He’s made a deal with Catherine via Terry.
Secrets: He has never revealed where the “bodies” are kept
Deception: He breaks the will of the girls then gains their trust to destroy them.Unspoken Wound: His ugliness is a result of the abuse he had the hands of his sister
Secret Identity:
Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie.
Mya looks the most like his sister so in his own way he is afraid of Mya
Character Name: TERRY SULLIVAN</div><div>
Role: Supporting role – Sr. Memory hunter
Hidden agendas: He befriends Mya but is having an affair with Catherine and makes the deals with the criminals on her behalf.
Competition:
Conspiracies: He conspires with Catherine, and they set up Mya’s boss Frank to take the fall their illegal doings
Secrets: He lies to Mya to misdirect her and hide his relationship with Catherine.
Deception: he deceives Mya that he is working with her to uncover the system anomalies
Unspoken Wound:
Secret Identity: conspirator
Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie.
Always gathering information to be used against others – including Catherine
</div>
-
CJ’s Subtext Characters
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: This was exceptionally eye opening as I found deeper levels that I hadn’t considered before – including for my psychopath – giving them a reason – subtext – gives them a human element – that I hadn’t considered before. Wahoo!!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
With your example movie, give us the following answers for the character with the most subtext:
Movie Title: JACK REACHER
Character Name: JACK REACHER
Subtext Identity: A former MP who does the right thing regardless of the law
and he came to town to follow through on a promise only to find that he guy is
innocent and he wants to know who and why he was framed.
Subtext Trait: Smart, observant, loner, tough
Subtext Logline: Jack is a loner who continually finds himself in the middle of
intrigue which he does the rights wrongs with swift justice.
Possible Areas of Subtext: Wants to be alone but can’t help looking out for the
underdog. Involves himself in others’ problems to help.
For your two leads, brainstorm these answers:
Character Name: MYA ORTEGA
Subtext Identity: A new memory hunter who is haunted by her own memories
Subtext Trait: Hides her fears by championing others
Subtext Logline: Mya helps others deal with their lost or hidden memories as she tries to hide her own memories
Possible Areas of Subtext: Intimidated by others, steps out of comfort zone, confronts her own fears, stands up to others
Character Name: CATHERINE HARPIE
Subtext Identity: CEO of Memory Retrivalists and uses her company to coerce
criminals to reveal where they’ve hidden money or dirt on others.
Subtext Trait: Controlling, deceiving, soft spot for older people and animals,
conniving
Subtext Logline: Catherine is CEO of a company with access to Government
assets and high-profile criminals that she uses to her own advantage
Possible Areas of Subtext: Catherine is controlling, she determines which
clients they take and who is assigned them ensuring that she has access to the memories before turning them over to Govt or law – gathering information and moving assets for her own gain.
Character Name: ALFRED “FREDDIE” DETTON
Subtext Identity: A psychopath who kidnaps or torments young girls by
humiliation and mutilation breaking down their will and spirit.
Subtext Trait: abused by his older sister, Freddie torments little girls for revenge
Subtext Logline: Freddie abused by his sister takes his revenge on little girls but
has always been galled by the one that got away – who was most like his sister
Possible Areas of Subtext: Always looking for ways to get even with his sister
through the tormenting of others
Character Name: TERRY SULLIVAN
Subtext Identity: An experienced memory hunter who is having an affair with
Catherine and is her go-to to gather the information and location of the secrets
Subtext Trait: He’s everyone’s friend while secretly gathering info, likes to prey
on other individual insecurities including Catherine’s
Subtext Logline: Terry is a memory hunter who helps Catherine gather intel
Possible Areas of Subtext: Terry is Mya’s friend, Terry sleeps with Catherine and
shares info, Terry is confronted by Mya, Terry wakes to find himself in the broken mind of Freddie.
-
CJ’s Actor Attractors
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: I mistakenly took a stab at this for Lesson 1 – but loved the ability to dig deeper and expand and find nuggets that really make the characters unique and stand out. This version is stronger and adds depth.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ACTOR ATTRACTORS:
Movie Title: MEMORY HUNTER
Lead Character Name: MYA ORTEGA – Takes most interesting actions – range of emotions / relationships
Role: Memory hunter – protatonist
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
The character arc allows for a wide range of emotions and growth – She never dealt with her childhood trauma where she was abducted and escaped but not before experiencing the terrors at the hands of a psychopath. Once inserted in the mind – she finally confronts and can face her fear. Only she can do this – as she is the one that got away.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
She comes wounded from a childhood drama which is related to her brain tumor. The doctors believe her brain tumor is psychosomatic – a defense mechanism she hides behind rather than deal with issues.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
She hides her wounds through denial and then becomes confident and not only confronts her past but becomes a spokesperson for others who have been abused – as she faces her fear and confronts the psychopath – she also frees herself and confronts a son who is abusing his mother as looks to take all her money.
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
The ordinary world shows her in denial about her past – yet she has an intriguing job in find lost, missing, or hidden memories. As she probes an elderly lady, she sees evidence that the woman is routinely abused by her son – Mya becomes intimidated by the son – after her period in the psycho’s mind she confronts the son and protects the woman.
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
Growth from afraid / timid to confident and assured. Uses her anger from her past to drive her future.
6. What subtext can the actor play?
The subtext is how her past defined her until she learns to master her past. She bluffs that she’s okay but when she must face her past it almost destroys her until she finds her inner strength that helped her to escape the first time.
7.What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?
A. relationship with her partner – She relies on him for advice (he betrays her)
B. Psycho – they have a past no one knows about – this time she wants to finish him, and he wants to finish what he started.
C. with her boss – She trusts to listen to her concerns – then thinks he is the one who set her up (red-herring) and inserted her in the psycho’s mind.
D. with her sister – Who pushes her to let her past go
E. with her friend – Who offers her an unbiased view of the world
F. CEO – who is making deals with the criminals and set Mya up and frames Frank.
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
She champions those who have been abused or are in need to fill her own need to have someone champion her – as she learns she is her own best champion.
9. What makes this character special and unique?
She is unique in that she is the only survivor to escape from this psychopath – and knows how he will behave – eventually she will use this against him.
<hr size=”0″ width=”100%” noshade=”” align=”center”>
ACTOR ATTRACTORS
Movie Title: MEMORY HUNTER
Lead Character Name: Dr. Catherine Harpie – Relationships that are interesting
ROLE: CEO of the company (antagonist)
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
She is a devious and conniving yet a congenial face to the public. She has a soft spot for animals.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
She is very convincing to the public of the service they provide while making deals with the criminals as she helps them cover up their misdeeds. Often deceiving the criminal and taking all the money for herself.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
She wins over the public and the criminals to build her empire and tries to eliminate Mya when Mya stumbles on her plans.
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
Catherine holds a press conference about a high-level opportunity for the organization. She sees a man yanking his dog along – she interrupts the interview to reprimand the man – and takes the dog from him.
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
Conniving, devious, soft spot for older people and animals.
6. What subtext can the actor play?
Hides her real agenda to use the company for her own gain.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?
With Terry and Freddie. Terry is her partner who brokers her deals with the criminals. Freddie is her biggest challenge as he doesn’t want anything so she promises him the “one that got away” so he can rectify the situation which eliminates Mya from Catherine’s issue.
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
Confident and commanding she controls everything
9. What makes this character special and unique?
Only she can do what is being done and she sets up Frank Yorgen as the fall guy
<hr size=”0″ width=”100%” noshade=”” align=”center”>
ACTOR ATTRACTORS
Movie Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Character Name: Alfred “Freddie” Detton – notoriety
ROLE: Supporting role for the antagonist
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
Free reign as a character who takes pain and his behavior to the extreme – he humiliates his victims then dresses them as Barbie Doll characters (TBD) – or women from history he wants to dominate.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
The psycho with nothing to lose and is offered a chance to get the “one that got away”
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
He knows Mya is coming and he can’t wait to reclaim her – he’s proud of his memories as he shows them off to her – he is giddy like a child – these become his downfall later
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
We meet him “virtually” by how shaken Terry is when he comes out of his mind
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
Limited – only enjoys watching other suffer at his hands
6. What subtext can the actor play?
His platitudes are his way of playing with his victims – he offers condolences after they have been humiliated – says he will make it better… even apologizes giving false hope.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?
Mya and lying and playing with Dr. Harpie
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
His single tracked mind to torture others for his own enjoyment
9. What makes this character special and unique?
He helps Mya inadvertently overcome her own memories to teach her that her past doesn’t have to define her future – that she may have been a victim once… but she didn’t have to stay that way – then he thinks she’s his but it’s what she needed to goad her into action.
<hr size=”0″ width=”100%” noshade=”” align=”center”>
ACTOR ATTRACTORS
Movie Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Character Name: Terry Sullivan – Subtext and interesting actions
Role: Supporting role
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
A duplicitous role – friend and foe for Mya. He is having an affair with the CEO and does her bidding to set up the criminals and go through their minds – getting info and then erasing his presence so they can move the money before the feds can find it.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
Terry’s duplicitous role isn’t discovered until almost too late. He has free reign into the minds of criminals to gain access to illicit dollars / etc.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
He gains Mya’s trust and then betrays her to hide his partnership with Dr. Harpie
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
As a seasoned memory hunter, he is sent in to comb through the memories of psycho killer and it overwhelms him it is so twisted.
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
Beguiling too treacherous and vicious
6. What subtext can the actor play?
Being Mya’s friend – many of his discussion later reveal his way of warning her and then setting her up – preying on her insecurities.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?
Mya and with Dr. Harpie
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
He is a showoff – He is the most experienced memory hunter, so he is the most knowledgeable. Knows the ins and outs of the mind and how to separate false memories from real.
9. What makes this character special and unique?
His ability to win over the “minds” that he offers secret deals with and his manipulation of others including Mya
Sister: Stella – interesting relationship
Friend: Jeremy – relationships
Mya’s Boss: Dr. Frank Yorgen – interesting actions
-
CJ’s Actor Attractors for MEMORY HUNTERS
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: Really liked the focus to really dig in on the conventions and really think through ways to improve the story – already feel like this is 100% better than what I had first imagined – can’t wait to see how this plays out!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ACTOR ATTRACTORS
Movie Title: JACK REACHER
Lead Character Name: JACK REACHER (Tom Cruise)
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
Based on a popular novel series
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
He is ex-military police, he is a nomad, he is fast, observant and well respected
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
He sees things differently and he doesn’t play by the rules – he does what is right not what is legal.
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
The man arrested for the mass shooting was warned by Reacher – if he screwed up – he’d be back. And the man’s only comment was “Get Jack Reacher” – a man who is facing the death penalty’s only wish – so this add intrigue.
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
Even, calm – moves to rage / justification
6. What subtext can the actor play?
Every sentence he says – he means.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?
With the lawyer as he challenges her beliefs and reasons
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
His unique voice is his rapid recall, memory, and ability to read people factually – coolly.
9. What makes this character special and unique?
He is the right person for this “job” as he knows the defendant and told him if he ever screwed up – he’d kill him. But he also knows statically as much as he wants the kill the defendant the defendant didn’t commit the murders and he has a desire to always see justice – without answering to the law.
10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
<hr size=”0″ width=”100%” noshade=”” align=”center”>
ACTOR ATTRACTORS
Movie Title: JACK REACHER
Lead Character Name: Helen Rodin (Rosamund Pike)
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
A role with an unwinnable case
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
She’s naïve, a pacifist, and yet isn’t afraid to go up against her father – DA
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
She wants to go up against her father and win – she wasn’t really trying to exonerate the defendant
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
She bulldozes a meeting with Reacher and her father – and you find out that the defendant and the DA are related
Confrontational with her father, a pacifist
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
Determined, scared, naïve to being aware
Determined, emotional when talking to the families,
6. What subtext can the actor play?
She wants to defend the defendant but not because she thinks he’s innocent it is to be a thorn in her father’s side – Reacher is the one who has to convince her – her client is innocent
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?
Besides Reacher it is really her father – she wants his help, but she scorns his concern, she wants to beat him in court and she thinks he could be dirty.
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
She’s afraid yet she will still try to do the right thing
9. What makes this character special and unique?
She access to the information and the DA’s office that Reacher needs to find out who the real killer is
10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
<hr size=”0″ width=”100%” noshade=”” align=”center”>
ACTOR ATTRACTORS – MY MOVIE:
Movie Title: MEMORY HUNTER
Lead Character Name: MYA ORTEGA – Takes most interesting actions – range of emotions / relationships
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
The character arc allows for a wide range of emotions and growth
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
She comes wounded from a childhood drama which is related to her brain tumor
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
She hides her wounds through denial and then becomes confident and not only confronts her past but becomes a spokesperson for others who have been abused
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
The ordinary world shows her in denial about her past – yet she has an intriguing job in find lost, missing, or hidden memories.
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
Growth from timid to confident and assured. Uses her anger from her past to drive her future.
6. What subtext can the actor play?
The subtext is how her past defined her until she learns to master her past.
6. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?
A. relationship with her partner – She relies on his for advice (he betrays her)
B. Psycho – they have a past no one knows about – this time she wants to finish him
C. with her boss – She trusts to listen to her concerns – thinks he is the one who set her up (red-herring)
D. with her sister – Who pushes her to let her past go
E. with her friend – Who offers her an unbiased view of the world
F. CEO – who is making deals with the criminals and set Mya up
7. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
She champions those who have been abused or are in need to fill her own want.
8. What makes this character special and unique?
She is unique in that she is the only survivor to escape from this psychopath – and knows how he will behave – eventually she can use this against him
10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
<hr size=”0″ width=”100%” noshade=”” align=”center”>
ACTOR ATTRACTORS
Movie Title: MEMORY HUNTER
Lead Character Name: Dr. Catherine Harpie – Relationships that are interesting
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
She is a devious conniving yet congenial face to the public
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
She is very convincing to the public of the service they provide while making deals with the criminals as she helps them cover up their misdeeds. Often deceiving the criminal and taking all the money for herself.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
She wins over the public and the criminals to build her empire and tries to eliminate Mya when she stumbles on her plans.
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
TBD
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
Conniving, devious, soft spot for older people,
6. What subtext can the actor play?
Hides her real agenda to use the company for her own gain.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?
With Terry and Freddie
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
Confident and commanding she controls everything
9. What makes this character special and unique?
Only she can do what is being done and she sets up Frank Yorgen as the fall guy
10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
<hr size=”0″ width=”100%” noshade=”” align=”center”>
ACTOR ATTRACTORS
Movie Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Character Name: Alfred “Freddie” Detton – notoriety
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
Free reign as a character who takes pain and his behavior to the extreme
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
The psycho with nothing to lose and is offered a chance to move his “mind” into another
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
He knows Mya is coming and he can’t wait to reclaim her – as she was the one that got away
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
We meet him “virtually” by how shaken Terry is when he comes out of his mind
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
Limited – only enjoys watching other suffer at his hands
6. What subtext can the actor play?
His platitudes are his way of playing with his victims
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?
Mya and lying and playing with Dr. Harpie
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
His single tracked mind to torture others for his own enjoyment
9. What makes this character special and unique?
He helps Mya overcome her own memories to teaches her past doesn’t have to define her future – that she may have been a victim once… but she didn’t have to stay that way – then he thinks she’s his but it’s what she needed to goad her into action.
10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
<hr size=”0″ width=”100%” noshade=”” align=”center”>
ACTOR ATTRACTORS
Movie Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Character Name: Terry Sullivan – Subtext and interesting actions
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
A duplicitous role – friend and foe for Mya
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
Terry’s duplicitous role isn’t discovered until almost too late
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
He gains Mya’s trust and then betrays her to hide his partnership with Dr. Harpie
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
As a seasoned memory hunter, he is sent in to comb through the memories of psycho killer and it overwhelms him it is so twisted.
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
Beguiling too treacherous and vicious
6. What subtext can the actor play?
Being Mya’s friend – many of his discussion later reveal his way of warning her.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?
Mya and with Dr. Harpie
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
He is the most experienced memory hunter, so he is the most knowledgeable
9. What makes this character special and unique?
His ability to win over the “minds” that he offers secret deals with and Mya
10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
Sister: Stella – interesting relationship
Friend: Jeremy – relationships
Mya’s Boss: Dr. Frank Yorgen – interesting actions
-
CJ’s Genre Conventions
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: Really liked the focus to really dig in on the conventions and really think through ways to improve the story – already feel like this is 100% better than what I had first imagined – can’t wait to see how this plays out!
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Give us the following:
Concept – In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
Theme: Our past doesn’t define us – we are bigger than our past… (working on this to finalize and build throughout the story)
Main Conflict – Mya discovers someone is accessing the minds of criminals illegally and is set up to silence her.<div>
New Version:A memory hunter struggles to find a way out of a psychopath’s mind when she uncovers someone is accessing the minds of criminals illegally.
Mya Ortega
Old Ways: NaïveSelf-centeredAfraidPractices avoidanceDidn’t understand the true value of what they could do</div><div>
New Ways:ConfidentCollaborativeCourageousBelieves in what she is doingUnderstands what happened to her
Conventions for Psychological Thriller:
Purpose: A memory hunter struggles to find a way out of a psychopath’s mind when she uncovers someone is accessing the minds of criminals illegally. If no deal is reached – the mind in bent… destroyed as they ruthlessly find the memory of where the money is located… this could be my solution for the CEO to reveal all her activities…</div>
<div>
Life and Death Situations: Mya finds herself in the mind of killer who likes to torture his victims. The CEO wants her dead before she reveals their secret arrangements with criminals to hide assets and she’s making millions on the side.
Mystery who is making illegal entries into the memory hunting machine?
IntrigueWhy are they doing it and why is she in the mind of the killer?
SuspenseCan she survive and escape the mind and find out who is behind it?
Hero – is unknowing and unwitting but she is resourceful
Villain – The CEO and sidekick – Mya’s memory hunting partner are scamming millions from the criminals
Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
Opening – Mya has a nightmare – she’s looking for a way out, to run, to hide, as she is chased by her abductors. </div>
Mya in conflict with her sister over her migraines from the brain tumor / memories from her past of her abduction and narrow escape from a child molester. – (Considering this being the same psycho she must deal with later which allows her closure)
We learn the 3 rules of memory hunters
Mya’s doctor wants to do more tests – anomalies in her brain tests
<div></div><div>
Inciting Incident – Mya’s partner is on the phone and hides his conversation. (He’s collaborating with the CEO which is hidden until the end)
Mya meets her first “customer” an elderly woman and Mya finds out her son is abusing her.
Turning Point – Mya tells her boss she’s found some anomalies in the logs – he ignores her. His boss – CEO – is in the office.
The CEO says she will take care of the logs and will give it to a “benched” hunter – who she tells to bury it.
Act 2:
New plan –Mya continues to research the system anomalies – tries to file a complaint – using corporate process – she finds her files were deleted and she’s locked out of the system.</div><div>
Plan in action – Mya is scheduled to enter the mind of an embezzler to get the location of the stolen money.
Her friend / partner / teammate – Comes out of the mind of a psychopath and he is wrecked emotionally and must go home.
He makes a call on the way home, and he appears to be in control not wrecked after all.
Midpoint Turning Point – Mya is inserted into the psychopath’s mind, but she thinks it is the embezzler so she’s unprepared.
Act 3:
Rethink everything – Mya realizes she’s in the psychopath’s mind. And it brings back her own bad memories of her own. </div><div>
New plan – The psychopath was expecting her – knows all about her and her previous escape – she goes for the escape hatch
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – The escape hatch is locked, and no one knows she’s in the wrong mind.
Tortured with her own memories and those of the psycho’s victims Mya crumbles.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Her partner watches his watch and eventually “realizes” what’s happened – builds a “key” – but Mya must throw it away as the psychopath is on her heels.</div>
Her partner, frustrated about her throwing away the “key” – The psychopath was after the Key not Mya – now he turns on Mya.
Mya learns that the psycho was promised a way out and a new “body” to inhabit with his mind if he breaks her – now he wants to kill her
Resolution – Mya uses her memories, her pain and the memories and the pain of the other victims in the psychopath’s mind to break the psychopath’s mind and escape.In breaking the psycho’s mind –
Mya uncovers who is making deals with the criminals and who set her up – the CEO. – she confides in her partner only to find he was in on it all along.
They fight and struggle in the control room – he trips lands in the chair – she straps him in and sends him into the angry psycho’s mind
Mya’s boss is a red herring – it was the CEO … rips her mind apart to get the evidence Mya needs to break the CEO (<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>will keep brainstorming something unique).
Mya confronts the son who is abusing his mother in the beginning and gets her justice from his abuse.
-
CJ’s 4-Act transformational Structure
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: Again – love the reminders and creating the “intent” meaning deliberately picking / delivering against the subtext and what’s below the surface.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Concept – In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
Main Conflict – Mya discovers someone is accessing the minds of criminals illegally and is set up to silence her.
Old Ways:
Naïve
Self-centered
Afraid
Practices avoidance
Didn’t understand the true value of what they could do
New Ways:
Confident
Collaborative
Courageous
Believes in what she is doing
Understands what happened to her
Act 1:
Opening – Mya in conflict with her sister over her migraines from the brain tumor
We learn the 3 rules of memory hunters
Mya’s doctor wants to do more tests – anomalies in her brain tests
Inciting Incident – Mya meets her first “customer” an elderly woman and Mya finds out her son is abusing her.
Turning Point – Mya tells her boss she’s found some anomalies in the logs – he ignores her. His boss is in the office.
Act 2:
New plan – Mya continues to research the system anomalies – and she gets locked out of the system.
Plan in action – Mya is scheduled to enter the mind of an embezzler to get the location of the stolen money.
Her friend / partner / teammate – Comes out of the mind of a psychopath and he is wrecked emotionally and must go home.
Midpoint Turning Point – Mya is inserted into the psychopath’s mind but she thinks at first it is the embezzler so unprepared.
Act 3:
Rethink everything – Mya realizes she’s in the psychopath’s mind. And it brings back bad memories of her own.
New plan – The psychopath was expecting her – knows all about her and her previous escape –
she goes for the escape hatch
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – The escape hatch is locked, and no one knows she’s in the wrong mind.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Her partner realizes what’s happened – builds a key – but Mya has to throw it away as the psychopath is on her heels.
Resolution – Mya uses her memories, her pain and the memories and the pain of the other victims in the psychopath’s mind to break the psychopath’s mind and escape.
Mya uncovers who is making deals with the criminals and who set her up
Mya’s boss is a red herring – it was her boss’s boss – and Mya breaks her mind (?) not sure on this part
Mya confronts the son who is abusing his mother in the beginning and gets her justice.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by CJ Knapp.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by
-
CJ’s Subtext Plot
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: Again – love the reminders and creating the “intent” meaning deliberately picking / delivering against the subtext and what’s below the surface.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Tell us your concept and your choice of one or two of these Subtext Plots.
(Concept above)
Subtext to be used:
1. Layering
2. Someone hides who they are
Mya’s – Beneath the surface is:
– dealing with a new job as a memory hunter
– Her fist exposure to memory hunting shows her the old woman is being abused by her son
– She has a brain tumor
– She was the only survivor from a serial killer
Someone is using the memory hunting program illegally and
-
CJ’s Transformational Journey
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: This was really thought provoking for me. Really made me think about the old ways vs new ways as well as keeping internal and external struggles in mind.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrivalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Protagonist: Mya Ortega
Tell us the Character Arc for your Protagonist:
Arc
Beginning: young naïve trainee scared from her past
abuse <div><u style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Arc Ending: the only
one who can stop the psychopath from escaping into another mind.Give us their Internal/External Journey.
Internal
Journey:
From afraid and self-centered to
confident and collaborative and healing her “scars” from internal abuse. <div><u style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>External
Journey:
From a immature trainee to highly intuitive memory hunter and able to
learn how to stop the psychopath’s rampage.Tell us their Old Ways at the beginning of the movie and their New Ways at the end.
Old Ways: </div>
Naïve
Self-centered
Afraid
Practices avoidance
Didn’t
understand the true value of what they could doNew Ways:
Confident
Collaborative
Courageous
Believes in
what she is doingUnderstands
what happened to her</div>
-
CJ’s Intentional Lead Characters
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: I liked how we worked through the process –first, the basic who is our character, then what describes them that makes them the only person for this role.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Give us a logline (one sentence answer) for your protagonist, antagonist, and triangle character (if you have one) to the question, “What makes this character fit my concept and title powerfully?”
Tell us what makes each of these characters unique. These two steps will look like this:
Character: Mya Ortega — is a junior memory hunter.Logline: Mya, a junior memory hunter finds herself accidently inside the mind of a psychopath and no one knows she’s there.Unique: Mya has a brain tumor that excels her ability to navigate memories, even locked or hidden ones.<div>
Character: Alfred “Freddie” Detton – Psycho killerLogline: Freddie a convicted psycho killer wants a new lease on life which means transferring his memories to a new body.Unique: Freddie makes a deal to kill Mya for the body exchange.
Character: Dr. Catherine Harpie – (Antagonist) Head of the Mind Hunter Unit.Logline: Dr. Harpie, blackmails or makes deals with the felons brought to have their memories searched realizes that Mya is getting close to her secret.Unique: Dr. Harpie runs the unit so has complete access to the equipment and the subjects for memory search.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by CJ Knapp.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by
-
CJ’s TITLE, CONCEPT, and CHARACTER STRUCTURE!
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: It was good to work through the character structure and determine the approach I wanted to take with this story.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
Character Structure: Protagonist versus Antagonist
-
Hi my name is CJ Knapp – I live in Kansas City MO at the present but have moved extensively and lived in Luxenbourg and Toronto Canada as well as many places in the US and have loved every place I have lived for the exposure and the experience!
I have written numerous scripts but probably only 5 that are market ready and most have been optioned. I have written a TV series which was also optioned but has reverted back that needs to go back to market. I have also completed several writing assignments.
I am thrilled to see so many talanted and familar faces in this group – I am honored to continue my journey with all of youl!
I hope to get out of this class what it takes to move past being optioned to being produced.
Something unique about me – is not so unique – I love to travel, cook, read, and especially write screenplays. I have a hubby, 2 pugs and an incredible cat that keep my daytime busy while I try to write. Probaby the most unique aspect to me is that by the time I was 16 we had already moved 18 times – and no, my father was not in the military. Life happens.
I have taken pretty much all of Hal’s classes and apparently I am a slow learner as I have taken the refresher for several of them!
Happy Writing one and all!
-
I agree
-
CJ Finds the Essence
What I learned is: Learning to find the essence in every scene – or as a writer deliberately writing with the idea of the essence that I want to portray in the scene. Originally, I was going to select – Dead Poet’s Society as it had a profound impact on me. However, I want to write action thrillers, so I decided to find a film that inspired me. I am not sure I have the essence locked down – feels like what I would include in an outline of my story.
Script I chose: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Scene 1 Location: Opening Scene
Logline: Even at a young age, Indy had a sense of adventure and preserving artifacts.
Essence: Indy has no fear to do the right thing and to get his father’s attention.Scene 2 Location: First Turning Point
Logline: Indy is still doing the “right thing” and getting in trouble as he rescues a gold idol.
Essence: Indy works for a college to cover for his passion to find or rescue stolen artifacts. Usually in a dangerous situation. Establishes the Antagonist for the filmScene 3 Location: End of Act 1
Logline: Indy follows reluctantly in his father’s footsteps.
Essence: Indy’s father’s footsteps also include following his attraction to Elsa. He has a lot more in common with his father than he wants to admitScene 4 Location: End of Act 2
Logline: Elsa is revealed as working for the Nazi’s – both Indy and his father fell for her charm.
Essence: Elsa betrays Indy like she did his father. Indy is reunited with his father and Brody holds the missing pages of the diary.Scene 5 Location: Ending
Logline: To force Indy to find the Holy Grail – Henry (Indy’s father is shot)
Essence: Indy and Henry intercut as one solve the trials and traps to find the Holy Grail and bring the water of life to save Henry’s life. -
Just sent it – cjknapp@earthlink.net
-
Robert I just sent to Monica – would you be willing to be my second exchange?
-
Wonderful! I have sent my outline and look forward to yours!
-
Hi Robert – just checking to make sure you got my outline and to see if you have sent yours yet?
thanks!
-
Just sent it!
-
Hi Renee – I love your character’s name!
CJ