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  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    February 19, 2024 at 8:44 pm in reply to: Lesson 12

    ASSIGNMENT 12 SUBMISSION – DISCOVERING IRONY

    Connie Whitmer – Creating Irony!

    1. I acquired
      even more respect for Irony. It is
      the spice and Twist of all great jokes and stories. The final smile, tear at the end, place
      in your heart. Finding the Irony improved every aspect
      of My Pilot and Series.

    DEFINITIONS:

    IRONY – A difference between what is Expected or Understood – and what Happens or is Revealed. PROVOKE– to cause emotion, Reaction, Horror, Curiosity, Mystery, Intrigue, Suspense, Love

    VERBAL- What is said is opposite of what is Meant – Sarcasm, Tease, Insult, Infuriate,

    SITUATIONAL- Plot Twists!!! Make them great!

    DRAMATIC IRONY – when Audience knows something the Character does not.

    CHARACTER ACTIONS – Are opposite of what they really feel, want, need, are hungry for

    CHARACTER DIALOGUE – To conceal how they really feel, or go for the kill, exaggerate

    PLOT DEVELOPMENT – TWISTS Set up expectations, foreshadow – Twist – Worst Nightmare! All is Lost

    ACTIONS – CHARACTER ACTION – Actions vs true Intensions



    IRONIES:

    EX MAIN PLOT – Danny – Goal – open clinic at home – chooses to stay in city to save family financially.

    INT MAIN PLOT – Danny, desperate to save those who have been preyed upon – becomes victim.

    SITUATIONAL – She handles all medical crisis easily – then is shaken to the core with a sick murder

    PROVOKE – Though the crime provokes revulsion – the psychological aspect draws you in

    DIALOGUE –

    SITUATIONAL- Danny is recruited into the most prestigious Practice in NYC – Replete with Psychopaths

    TWISTS – The Practice of Surgeons swear by, not the Hippocratic Oath but the Anti Hippocratic Oath

    FORESHADOWING- Danny is congratulated on her new Practice, until their wives start dying in her ICU

    MYSTERY- The boy’s Dilemma in Teaser, appears heart wrenching – is nothing compared to the Truth

    INTRIGUE—Its just a prestigious Medical Center in Manhattan – until the Layers are stripped away.

    SUSPENSE – The mystery, intrigue will be solved in the end – but beyond anyone’s imagining.

    DRAMATIC IRONY– Spar is her guardian, trying to protect her – she keeps calling the cops on him

    CHARACTER EXTERNAL -Var, Plastic Surgeon, restoring beauty – uses surgery for hideous evil intent

    CHARACTER INTERNAL – Danny is lonely, needs love, be loved – but is afraid and suspicious of Spar

    WANT – Danny can’t wait to get out of NYC, go home – she must stay in NY to save family financially

    NEED – Danny needs to save everyone – but ends up having to decide, whether to save or kill Var

    CHARACTER ACTIONS– Drunken Danny pretends to be lured into Var’s hold – but is still sober

    WOUND – Danny, in wound denial from being abducted by Boys – must relieve it to solve the Mystery

    FLAW – Danny thinks she can save everyone – and loses it, when she finds out – she cannot

    IDENTITY – Danny, perceived as promising young doctor – but is lured into the Boys Club, from Hell

    ESSENCE – A strong, independent, idealistic country girl – desperate for escape, love and be loved

    HIDING – Danny hides a secret – her friends think it is an old flame – it’s the nightmare from the Gore

    MASK – Var – Surgeon, renowned, adventurer, artifact collector for Museum – Psychopathic murder.

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    January 31, 2024 at 2:12 am in reply to: Lesson 5

    Connie Whitmer: Character Emotions

    What I learned: Doing this, makes you think and gives you great ideas for scenes, twists, dilemmas, crises, conflict, and dialogue. And a chance to clarify and inject Theme.

    For each of the Main characters:

    Danny – Protagonist,

    Var – Antagonist,

    Detective Zorro – Contagonist,

    Spar – Shadow -love interest- Guardian

    Genre – Mystery, Suspense, Thriller,

    PLOT – Danny, a young female doctor,

    Is lured into a prestigious Concierge Surgical Practice of 4 doctors, in NYC,

    Who all share a secret past nightmare event in their childhood, in the woods, at the end of the Road.

    And a web of murder, mayhem, and the machinations of a Psychopathic mind,

    Setting her up for the murders of: their rich wives, and any threat to their pathological pastimes of luring innocents to their death.

    MYSTERY: What really happened in the past in the Slaughterhouse?

    THEME Hunger

    War – Hunger vs Contentment

    Hunger destroys – Hunger incentivizes

    CONTENTMENT – STASIS – AMBIVALENCE – NUMB

    YEARNING – HUNGER – DESPERATE – UNREQUITED – SHATTERED –

    UNREQUITED – being torn apart piece by piece, shattered into shards of glass, irreparable, question everything, your worth, everything you stand for. All magic is dead, all hope, all joy,

    WHEN PAIN IS TOO MUCH – magic gone, pain, denial, reject, seek oblivion, no more,

    HUNGER: yearning, searching, desperate, accept danger, sin, soul, evil, lost, death, missing something, someone, someplace, would give, do, lose everything, anything for –

    CONTENTMENT: Happy, blessed, complete, not risk, no gamble, no blame, no need to strive, to try, to keep from losing, love, joy, satisfied.

    HUNGER: In your heart, soul, mind, psychological, body,

    Hunger – sometimes a good thing – sometimes it just draws you into danger death. You must know the difference, You must have the Courage to choose rightly.

    Internal Struggles =

    A. Situational:

    HOPE:

    Danny – Hunger to open a rural practice with brother in Vermont

    Var – hunger to suck Danny into practice, manipulate, use, destroy her

    Zorrohunger to find answers. killer of his ex-wife, kill him, find peace

    Spar – Hunger To get Danny home to the mountains she loves safely

    FEAR:

    Danny fears her family will lose their home and farm, they love, financially – she and her brother will lose their dream – He will lose Hope, of opening a rural clinic together sat home

    Var fears not to lose abject control

    Zorro – fears not catching serial murderers of young women

    Spar- fears failing to protect Danny from the evil around her

    Motivation: Desperate!

    Danny Want – find way to save her home, and family financially

    Var want – to lure Danny into practice, to frame her for murders

    Zorro want – to initially find killer, catch Danny, help her escape,

    Spar – wants to be around Danny, watch over her, protector from hidden danger – the ” Boys Club” Surgeons from Hell!

    NEED:

    Danny Need– stay in the NYC Surgical Practice, and make money

    Var Need – get revenge on Danny’s father, finish what he started when she was a child, lured, trapped, and attacked in the woods.

    Zorro Need – to stop the guilt, the pain, the nightmare of his ex wife’s murder,

    Spar Need – watch over Danny, love her, take her home, keep her safe.

    MASK: Base Negative Emotion

    Danny – homesick, yearning, to feel the sun and wind on her face, ride her horse, feels trapped, buried alive

    Var – Sick, sadistic, obsessive, brutal, with need for total control.

    Zorro – angry, depressed, obsessed with finding killer, no joy until Danny

    Spar – Need to watch over her, have her in sight, be close, protect

    PUBLIC MASK:

    Danny – for family and friends -Happy for the position, thankful, focused on saving lives

    Var – Distinguished doctor, pillar of the community, dream guy, Benefactor of the Museum of Natural History, speaker at National Forum for Innovative Plastic Surgery,

    Zorro Mask – calm, cool, impartial detective, not attracted to Danny

    Spar – a stranger to Danny, helps her be herself, loves kids, dogs, horses, and wounded – her Hiding they have a common nightmare in the past.

    WEAKNESSES: – hunger draws them in.

    Danny – yearns for home, drawn to the woods, secluded parts of Central Park, hungry to feel free, of the city, ride her horse, puts herself in danger.

    Var – an insatiable hunger for absolute control, manipulation, a puppet he pulls with his strings, for his agenda, revenger,

    Zorro – hunger to kill – whoever killed his wife, setting up Danny

    Spar – Hunger to carry Danny away, from it all take her home, and love her

    <ul type=”disc”>

  • TRIGGER: EXTERNAL,
    INTERNAL EMOTIONAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL
  • Danny –Jogging in the Park, hiding in the forest, watching horses, missing home, noticing strangely familiar Spar with kids, wounded warriors. Hunger – she is drawn to Spar . . . why? Memories – Hungry for a far off future – dream ever more distant.

    Wound – what happened to her in the slaughterhouse,

    What is she afraid of — being trapped – powerless, helpless to help those she loves

    Phobia: irrational fear of being trapped, can’t breathe

    Threat of children, family, brother, home

    Negative emotion: hiding in the dark, still, don’t breathe’

    Negative treatment: Var takes her breath away.

    Var – Hunger to possess, even air to breathe . . . her future, her thoughts, memories, her nightmares make him tingle . . . turn on

    Wound – What happened to him at the

    ZorroHunger to go back, memories of wife, of joy, happiness – then nightmare.

    Spar – Hunger to go back to nightmare – and save her from it.

    COPING MECHANISM:

    Danny Hungry to feel at home, volunteers at stable likes being around Spar, helping coach and kids baseball, wounded warriors

    Var – Hungry – restless, a fire he has to put out, hurt something. goes hunting, does surgery, makes heads.

    Zorro – Hungry – to crush the killers throat with his bare hands, hurt himself

    Genre = Mystery, Suspense Thriller

    Concept = A young female doctor dreams of going home to Vermont to open a rural practice with her brother; but when her brother loses his legs in Afghanistan, and her parents are financially going to lose their home and farm; she must accept an offer to join the most lucrative and Prestigious Concierge Surgical Practice in NYC. Only to be drawn into a maniacal web of murder, and mayhem, and the machinations of a Psychopathic mind.

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    February 2, 2024 at 12:30 am in reply to: Lesson 5

    Connie Whitmer – what I learned: This offers great strategies, for Opening Hooks, Episode Climax Twists, and Series Climax Twist, Twist, Twist!!!!!

    Module 1 – LESSON 8 – TWO MYSTERIES

    · A. Shocking Event:

    · 1. Past: The nightmare at the Mountain – what does it have to do with Danny?

    · 2. Present: A bizarrely mutilated young woman comes into the ER – still alive

    ·

    · B. Secret: Past: Who the boy killed? Who was the other boy?

    · Present: Who is killing the woman, why are they mutilated so?

    ·

    · C. Investigation: Zorro is after the serial Killer of the Central Park murders.

    · The woman is his ex-wife – and Danny’s friend

    · He is suspicious of Spar at the park, as he follows Danny

    · WHO- the boys from the Mountain

    · WHAT- what it has to do with Danny

    · WHY- She is abducted by them years later as a child, they terrorize her, wound – fear of being held down, trapped, manhandled, in the slaughterhouse.

    · WHEN- she was a child, abducted by them

    · WHERE- The mountain

    · PART WITHHELD: She was there, at the Slaughterhouse, tormented witnessed horrors. She does not know the boys from the mountain are the Surgeons.

    · WHY? To get revenge upon Danny and her father, family, farm, to destroy them.

    · PART WITHHELD: the boys that tormented her are the Surgeons. The Dead boy – Var

    · ULTIMATE REVEAL 1: The boys are the Surgeons,

    · ULTIMATE REVEAL 2: Var has orchestrated everything since then, Danny’s life

    · How – Got her admitted the schools they wanted, scholarships, sabotaged family farm, so she would have to take their job offer.

    ·

    2. Create the Over Time Mystery and tell us the WWWWW and H, along with the part withheld.

    A. Cover up: Var covers up the history of the Boys Club, who they really are.

    · B. Secret: Var and the Surgeons are the Serial Murderers of the women

    · WHO? Var is the dead boy from the Gore.

    · WHAT – The Surgeons have a strange hobby, and they need young women for.

    · WHY – To prove their rich parents theory was wrong, the opposite is true – they are the proof.

    · PART WITHHELD: the boys were sent to reform school, adopted, an experiment by the wealthy Museum patrons – meant to be proof against the two seed theory.

    · ULTIMATE REVEAL 1: The experiment proved the opposite, they killed their parents, and wives, and framed Danny.

    · ULTIMATE REVEAL 2: Var has orchestrated everything since then, Danny’s life

    · How – Got her admitted the schools they wanted, scholarships, sabotaged family farm, so she would have to take their job offer. He must take her back to the slaughterhouse for her reveal, she, and her family, have been under his manipulation, all her life.

    <ul type=”disc”>

  • Part Withheld: He must take her back to the mountain,
    the slaughterhouse to make her understand, what happens when those that
    come from the Gore, try to leave – no one born on the mountain – ever
    leaves the Gore . . ..
  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    February 4, 2024 at 12:38 am in reply to: Lesson 5

    Connie Whitmer – What I learned from Lesson 9 – BIG PICTURE OPEN LOOPS : The Promptings helped me in coming up with original Loops, I had not thought of before. So as to plant them in most scenes.

    <b style=”background-color: var(–bb-content-background-color); font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; color: var(–bb-body-text-color);”>Opening hook Opening/Teaser <b style=”background-color: var(–bb-content-background-color); font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; color: var(–bb-body-text-color);”>BIG PICTURE FIRST SEASON OPEN LOOPS:

    Something happens: – that is incomplete – which raises a question – about future

    GOALS:

    <ul type=”disc”>

  • New goals?
  • – Danny is set
    to complete her Internist Residency, in NYC,
  • – She has long
    dreamed of going home to open a rural practice in VT
  • – She and her brother Neil, coming home
    from Afghanistan will run the clinic.
  • – It is Neil’s turn to go through Medical school.
  • – He helped her
    financially, now it is her turn to help him.
  • – after 7 years,
    she is desperate to get out of the city, away from the chaos and
  • crime, and go home to the mountains, family, tight Knit Community
  • Goals related to the big picture?
  • Crushed goals?
  • – She finds out
    that her family is in financial trouble,
  • – Impossible
    taxes,
  • – father
    sued for cutting down a tree on his own land,
  • – plan for Windmills all over their hills.
  • – Conspiracy
    to get them off their family farm.
  • – A neighbor
    from Hell on planning commission wants their land for pot farm.
  • – Neil loses
    both his legs in the War. He is troubled,
    angry, dreams dashed.
  • – Danny is
    offered a position in the most prestigious Surgical Practice in NYC
  • – A Manhattan
    Concierge Position with 5 super connected, wealthy Surgeons.
  • – They want her
    to care for their post-op patients in ICU,
  • – and take care of all the on-call, and ER, concierge patients, t
  • – who pay big
    bucks for her to be at their beck and call , 24 hours a day
  • – she will be paid 500,000 dollars a year.
  • – How will she stand it in the city,
    crime, murders, violence in the ER, her family
  • home alone.
  • Competition/conflict around goals?
  • – Danny, though
    she hates the city, the crime, and trying in vain to save the
  • unsavable, victims of savagery, she feels
    she must accept the position.
  • – to help her
    struggling family and to save their home and farm.
  • – To help Neil
    get through school, to help pay taxes, and build a clinic.
  • – She is
    forced to accept the lucrative position
  • – they offer her 500 thousand dollars a
    year.
  • – While the
    crucible at home in VT becomes ever more vicious . . .
  • – 60’s
    hippies, who moved to VT for the pot, then in from their communes,
  • – to take over the School, boards,, Tax assessors,
    and
  • – Town Planning
    Commission, with a plan to push, tax, and reassign to deer
  • yard, and wet lands, and views, all their land.

  • Then sue them penniless, pushing them off their land, their ancestors
    have
  • tended
    for hundreds of years.
  • – Danny
    will come to find that she has enemies in the hospital as well.
  • – The crucible of a cannibalistic Medical System.
    One consumed with the
  • – bottom line, – shortening lives, instead
    of saving them
  • unnecessary surgeries,
  • letting the “rookies” us their surgical
    patients for “practice cadavers”
  • – reminding
    the Hippocratic Oath in favor for euthanasia, assisted suicide,

  • Getting everyone to sign the donate organs for harvesting, whether they
  • – are going to die or not,
  • – And
    the Living Will, to not intubate patients even when they just need
  • – assisted
    breathing or overnight, or a couple of days.
  • .
  • CONSEQUENCES:

    <ul type=”disc”>

  • Are they going to be caught?
  • – Will
    the doctors, Head? nurse, Er Doctor from Hell,
  • – Will
    the hospital administration get caught?
  • – Or will they frame Danny up to fire her –
    accuse her of malpractice
  • – And
    Murder?
  • Problems created from past actions?
  • – When she tries to stop them, report
    what is happening –
  • – she
    is threatened with termination . . .
  • – then
    framed for the murders of the doctors wives, in ICU
  • Good plans gone wrong?

  • Her brother loses both lower legs in Afghanistan

  • Her parents did their best to hide their financial problems, from her.

  • She realizes she has to forget her dream of practice in her hometown

  • She will hop on the grenade and stay in the city, to make money
  • – She
    has to accept the hellish position of Concierge 24 hour coverage.

  • At the beck and call of the super-wealthy.
  • SOLVING PROBLEMS:

    <ul type=”disc”>

  • What is the major problem for this character?
  • – As she discovers
    that the Hospital is preying on patients for money,
  • – And although
    she tries desperately to save the vulnerable patients, affected.
  • – She realizes
    there is a conspiracy to trick her, use her, frame her for murder.
  • – They call
    it “due diligence”
  • What are they trying to solve?
  • – As she is fired, tried and convicted of
    murder, escapes
  • – She
    must find a way to find the murderer.
  • Major change imposed on the character?
  • _ She goes from Partner in Practice
  • – to
    suspect for the murders of the Surgeon’s wives
  • – to framed,
    trapped, hunted, by the Detective,
  • – she
    becomes suspicious of Spar, following her, plotting to take her
  • – She is
    tried, Convicted, found guilty, Sentence to life in Prison
  • Previous solutions cause new problems?
  • – Detective
    Zorrow, finds evidence that Danny is innocent
  • – Now he
    must help her escape
  • – She is
    a fugitive, hunted, trying to find out secrets of the Mds, “Boys Club.”
  • – She
    finds evidence the Surgeon’s plan has something to do with her
  • – a nightmare
    that happened to her as a child – at the End of the Road.
  • – Now she is hunted by not only police but
    Var, and what happened
  • RELATIONSHIPS:
  • <ul type=”disc”>

  • Relationships in peril?
  • – Danny and her brother Neil – he is hostile to her,
  • – She is
    living their dream, he is left behind.
  • – Danny
    and her parents, they do not want her to stay in the city.
  • – They
    do not know she is doing it for them.
  • – Danny
    and MJ, her friend, a nurse in the ER.
    She feels MJ takes chances,
  • – risky
    behavior – trying to find a boy friend.
  • – She
    and Zorro – She likes him, but he grows more suspicious of her –
  • – she is afraid of him.
  • – She is
    drawn to the mysterious Spar, and does not know why.
  • – Becomes
    increasingly suspicious and afraid of him,
  • – as the
    murders in the Park continue.
  • – the
    Head Nurse Debhoora has a thing for Var, trying to seduce him,
  • – but
    he is drawn to Danny. She becomes
    increasingly jealous.
  • – Danny
    and Ally, Danny’s and MJ friend. She
    Thinks Danny is selling out to
  • – intimidation
    from the Hospital, seduction by Var,
    selling out for money.
  • New relationships forming?
  • – Danny and Zorro – He is attracted to her, cares about
    her, but fights it as
  • she
    becomes more and more of a suspect, framed by hospital.

  • Danny and Spar – though he is a shadowing figure, she is drawn to him,
  • – as
    she sees him coaching the little league kids, wrestling,
  • – working
    with rescued horses and wounded warriors in Central Park.
  • – Danny
    is missing her horse at home in VT.
    Now she is stuck in NYC.
  • – The
    stable is where their friendship/romance grows.
  • – Yet
    she sees him spying on her, following her, (watching over her)
  • Conflict inside relationships?
  • – Danny and Var – her boss. He grows more manipulative
    of her,

  • Becoming obsessed with control, the more she rebuffs him.

  • Then the intimidation becomes romantic advances.
  • – Even
    as she becomes more suspicious that he is preying on patients

  • She thinks it is for money . . .
  • – she
    cannot imagine what he is really doing to them.

  • Danny and Zorro – He becomes more suspicious, questioning of her

  • Danny and Spar – Her attraction, curiosity, and suspicion of him grows
  • Relationships changing?
  • – Danny and Var – more intolerable, she
    must escape

  • Danny and Spar – more intense, and scary
  • – Danny and Zorro – more invasive,
    accusatory, attractive, confusing
  • – Zorro and Spar – more suspicious,
    accusatory, hostile, protective
  • – Other Surgeons in practice – more frantic,
    manic, cruel, homicidal
  • -Danny
    and Debhoora – Deb becomes crazed with obsessive jealousy
  • <ul type=”disc”>

  • Can they survive X?
  • – Can Danny survive the framing by Var, Deb, and hospital Admin for murder
  • – Can Danny’s family survive the
    targeting for a suit by town ( really Var)
  • Can Danny escape being convicted for the
    murders?

  • Can she escape going to prison?
  • Can she fight the entire Hospital Administration –
    rotten to the core
  • Can she survive connection to Var – “Boys Club” at the end of the Road
  • Putting themselves in danger / making dangerous
    decisions?
  • Can Danny escape the Danger of the Psychopathic Var,
  • – Danger
    of the homicidal Surgeons who want their wives dead?
  • – The
    Danger of the Lying, false accusations of Debhoora, snake in the grass
  • – Being
    alone in the woods of Central Park with Spar.
  • – Escape
    from the gang of hoodlums that trap her in the park
  • – Escape
    her own hunger to love and be loved, to not be alone in the dark
  • Who else is pulled into their danger?
  • – MJ, desperate
    to find love in all the wrong places
  • – Ally,
    Danny’s friend, who runs alone in the Park
  • – Spar –
    is put in danger, saving Danny,
  • – Spar –
    is also under suspicion by Zorro, for murders
  • – Young
    women, lured by Var into his secret or for free plastic surgery
  • – Danny’s
    brother Neil, when he tries to protect her
  • – A
    little girl that has cancer, that Danny visits in Hospital
  • – A
    puppy, Danny finds in the basement, she saves.
  • Internal dangers (drug addiction, need for medicine,
    inner demons)?

  • Danny is haunted by memories of Nightmare on the Mountain

  • In the climax she is lured there, to finish the faceoff with Var.
  • – In
    a redo of the Nightmare

  • Each of the Main Characters is placed in danger by their own hungers
  • – To be
    loved, accepted, a home, to be beautiful, to be married, to be safe
  • I’M WRITING A TV SERIES THAT IS A MYSTERY, PSYCHOLOGICAL, SUSPENSE, THRILLER

    LEAD CHARACTERS:

    – Young Doctor Danny, accepts a job in a prestigious Concierge Surgical Practice. Only to be drawn into a maniacal scheme to frame her for the murders of their rich wives, and ultimately back to the wound / nightmare of her life, that involves the 5 docs/ boys from the “End of the Road,” in the Mountain.

    – Var – the lead Surgeon, the brains of the entire scheme, to lure, trap, and punish Danny for what happened on the Mountain Slaughterhouse. Then destroy her family and everything they love.

    – Detective Zorro, who, despite himself, falls for Danny, even as he is tasked with finding a serial killer, and grows more convinced it is her.

    – Spar – the Shadow, Guardian, love interest of Danny, Despite her attraction to what she sees as a good heart – she becomes more and more suspicious of him.

    – Please create 20 Open Loops for my Series, using these Elements:

    Something happens: – that is incomplete – which raises a question – about future

    GOALS:

    <ul type=”disc”>

  • New goals?
  • – Danny is set
    to complete her Internist Residency, in NYC,
  • – She has long
    dreamed of going home to open a rural practice in VT
  • – She and her brother Neil, coming home
    from Afghanistan will run the clinic.
  • – It is Neil’s turn to go through Medical school.
  • – He helped her
    financially, now it is her turn to help him.
  • – after 7 years,
    she is desperate to get out of the city, away from the chaos and
  • crime, and go home to the mountains, family, tight Knit Community
  • Goals related to the big picture?
  • Crushed goals?
  • – She finds out
    that her family is in financial trouble,
  • – Impossible
    taxes,
  • – father
    sued for cutting down a tree on his own land,
  • – plan for Windmills all over their hills.
  • – Conspiracy
    to get them off their family farm.
  • – A neighbor
    from Hell on planning commission wants their land for pot farm.
  • – Neil loses
    both his legs in the War. He is troubled,
    angry, dreams dashed.
  • – Danny is
    offered a position in the most prestigious Surgical Practice in NYC
  • – A Manhattan
    Concierge Position with 5 super connected, wealthy Surgeons.
  • – They want her
    to care for their post-op patients in ICU,
  • – and take care of all the on-call, and ER, concierge patients, t
  • – who pay big
    bucks for her to be at their beck and call , 24 hours a day
  • – she will be paid 500,000 dollars a year.
  • – How will she stand it in the city,
    crime, murders, violence in the ER, her family
  • home alone.
  • Competition/conflict around goals?
  • – Danny, though
    she hates the city, the crime, and trying in vain to save the
  • unsavable, victims of savagery, she feels
    she must accept the position.
  • – to help her
    struggling family and to save their home and farm.
  • – To help Neil
    get through school, to help pay taxes, and build a clinic.
  • – She is
    forced to accept the lucrative position
  • – they offer her 500 thousand dollars a
    year.
  • – While the
    crucible at home in VT becomes ever more vicious . . .
  • – 60’s
    hippies, who moved to VT for the pot, then in from their communes,
  • – to take over the School, boards,, Tax assessors,
    and
  • – Town Planning
    Commission, with a plan to push, tax, and reassign to deer
  • yard, and wet lands, and views, all their land.

  • Then sue them penniless, pushing them off their land, their ancestors
    have
  • tended
    for hundreds of years.
  • – Danny
    will come to find that she has enemies in the hospital as well.
  • – The crucible of a cannibalistic Medical System.
    One consumed with the
  • – bottom line, – shortening lives, instead
    of saving them
  • unnecessary surgeries,
  • letting the “rookies” us their surgical
    patients for “practice cadavers”
  • – reminding
    the Hippocratic Oath in favor for euthanasia, assisted suicide,

  • Getting everyone to sign the donate organs for harvesting, whether they
  • – are going to die or not,
  • – And
    the Living Will, to not intubate patients even when they just need
  • – assisted
    breathing or overnight, or a couple of days. .
  • Creating open loops for your TV series involves:

    – Crafting scenarios that leave the audience eager to find out what happens next. — These open loops should generate suspense, raise questions, and

    – Push the narrative forward, compelling viewers to continue watching.

    Here are 20 open loops that incorporate the elements you’ve outlined:

    1. The Unopened Letter:
      Danny finds an unopened letter from Neil while cleaning, postmarked before
      his injury. She hesitates to open it, fearing its contents might alter
      everything she believed about their future plans together.
    2. The Missing Patient Files: After noticing discrepancies in patient records,
      Danny discovers a set of files that seem to have been deliberately
      removed. Who took them, and what secrets do they hold about the hospital’s
      practices?
    3. The Cryptic Warning:
      A mysterious note is left on Danny’s desk, warning her to trust no one in
      the hospital. Who wrote it, and what do they know about the conspiracy?
    4. The Shadow at the End of the Hall: Danny catches glimpses of a shadowy figure watching
      her from afar. Is this figure a threat, or possibly an ally with crucial
      information?
    5. The Sudden Blackout:
      Just as Danny is about to uncover crucial evidence on her computer, the
      power goes out. Was it a mere coincidence, or a deliberate act to keep her
      from discovering the truth?
    6. The Untraceable Phone Call: Danny receives a call with a disguised voice,
      offering her a clue about the conspiracy against her family. But when she
      tries to trace the call, she finds it’s untraceable. Who is trying to help
      her, and why?
    7. The Disappearing Witness: A nurse who hinted at knowing too much about the
      hospital’s dark secrets suddenly disappears. What did she know, and what
      happened to her?
    8. The Mysterious Benefactor: Neil’s medical school tuition is anonymously paid
      off. Who would do such a thing, and what do they expect in return?
    9. The Confession That Wasn’t: Just as a key figure in the hospital is about to
      confess something crucial to Danny, they are urgently called away. What
      were they about to reveal?
    10. The Hidden Camera:
      Danny discovers a hidden camera in her office. Who installed it, and what
      have they captured?
    11. The Lost Evidence:
      Vital evidence that Danny had secured goes missing. Was it stolen, and if
      so, by whom?
    12. The Betrayal Revealed:
      Danny overhears a conversation suggesting someone close to her is
      betraying her trust. How will she confront them, and what will be the
      fallout?
    13. The Unexplained Injury: Spar appears with injuries he refuses to explain.
      What happened to him, and does it relate to the murders or his protective
      stance over Danny?
    14. The Secret Meeting:
      Danny learns of a secret meeting between the surgeons and an unknown
      party. What is the meeting about, and how can she uncover its purpose?
    15. The Ghost of the Past:
      A figure from Danny’s nightmare on the mountain reappears in her life. Who
      are they, and what unfinished business do they have with her?
    16. The Threatening Message: After Danny makes a significant discovery, she
      receives a threatening message telling her to stop digging. How far will
      she go to uncover the truth, despite the danger?
    17. The Unwilling Informant: Someone unexpectedly offers Danny information but
      seems terrified. What scares them, and what information are they holding
      back?
    18. The Forgotten Memory:
      A seemingly insignificant event triggers a forgotten memory in Danny,
      hinting at a crucial piece of the puzzle. What is the memory, and how does
      it connect to the current events?
    19. The Broken Alliance:
      Danny’s trust in one of her closest allies is shattered by a revelation.
      How will she navigate this betrayal, and can the relationship be salvaged?
    20. The Unsolved Mystery:
      As one mystery seems to resolve, another, deeper mystery surfaces, hinting
      that what Danny has uncovered is only the tip of the iceberg. What lies
      beneath the surface?

    You

    Give me 20 more

    ChatGPT

    ChatGPT

    1. The Silent Message:
      Danny receives a series of cryptic, silent phone calls, each disconnected
      before a message is conveyed. What is the caller trying to communicate,
      and why the secrecy?
    2. The Vanishing Evidence: Crucial evidence Danny submits to the police
      mysteriously vanishes from the evidence room. Who within the department
      could be corrupt, and how deep does the conspiracy go?
    3. The Warning From the Past: A retired doctor who once worked at the hospital
      seeks Danny out to warn her but is found dead before he can tell her
      everything. What was he trying to warn her about?
    4. The Altered Records:
      Danny discovers someone has been altering medical records, but when she
      tries to expose the alterations, the originals mysteriously revert, making
      her look delusional. Who is orchestrating these changes?
    5. The Double Agent:
      Someone Danny trusts is revealed to have dual allegiances. How will she
      uncover the mole’s true intentions, and how does this affect her fight
      against the hospital’s corruption?
    6. The Unseen Follower:
      Danny feels like she’s being followed, but every time she turns around, no
      one’s there. Is she being paranoid, or is someone keeping tabs on her
      movements?
    7. The Unexplained Recovery: A patient written off by the hospital as beyond help
      suddenly recovers under mysterious circumstances. How did this happen, and
      what does it reveal about the hospital’s practices?
    8. The Blocked Investigation: Every time Danny or Detective Zorro gets close to a
      breakthrough in the investigation, they hit an unexpected and inexplicable
      roadblock. Who is powerful enough to manipulate their efforts?
    9. The Secret Alliance:
      Danny discovers an unlikely alliance between two characters who should be
      enemies. What brought them together, and what is their end goal?
    10. The Mysterious Beneficiary: A hidden clause in a will benefits Danny or her
      family unexpectedly. Who arranged this, and what strings are attached?
    11. The Night Visitor:
      Late one night, someone leaves a cryptic clue on Danny’s doorstep. Who is
      the visitor, and what does the clue signify?
    12. The Insider’s Guilt:
      A hospital staff member confesses to Danny in a moment of guilt but
      retracts everything when questioned formally. What scared them into
      silence?
    13. The Lost Recording:
      Danny is given a recording that holds key evidence, but it mysteriously
      disappears before she can listen to it. How will she recover the lost
      information?
    14. The Code in the Book:
      Danny finds a seemingly ordinary book among Neil’s belongings with a
      series of annotations that hint at a deeper message. What does the code
      reveal?
    15. The Phantom Help:
      Danny receives anonymous help in her investigation, but the identity of
      her benefactor remains a mystery. Who is helping her, and why do they
      remain in the shadows?
    16. The Revealing Dream:
      Danny has a vivid dream that offers a clue to the conspiracy. Can she
      trust the insights from her subconscious, and how does it guide her
      actions?
    17. The Unlikely Hero:
      A character previously seen as insignificant steps forward with
      information that changes everything. Why now, and what prompted their
      change of heart?
    18. The Manipulated Event:
      An event that seems like a stroke of luck for Danny is later revealed to
      have been manipulated. Who is orchestrating events in her favor, and what
      do they gain?
    19. The Forgotten Connection: Danny uncovers a forgotten link between her family
      and one of the conspirators. How does this change her understanding of the
      events?
    20. The Escape Plan Thwarted: Just as Danny formulates a plan to expose the truth
      and clear her name, an unforeseen obstacle puts everything at risk. What
      is the obstacle, and how will she overcome it?

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    February 1, 2024 at 1:20 am in reply to: Lesson 5

    DISTRESS: Danny –

    A. Undeserved misfortune

    – family in danger, financially,

    – Brother injured,

    – dream of practice with brother lost

    – they all sacrificed to get her through Med school,

    – now she must save them all.

    B. External Character conflicts

    – job in ER, brutal, dangerous from criminals

    – Gut wrenching from injured patients,

    – Run to work dangerous,

    – hates the city,

    – she can’t save them all.

    – Stalked,

    – friends with problems

    – young women are being hunted by psychopaths

    C. Plot intruding on life

    – she is exhausted,

    – has no life, lonely,

    – hungry for someplace beautiful, where you can’t get killed.

    – Misses her family

    – Needs her family, so far away

    – Hungry to love and be loved.

    – Despite how hard she tries – Everything is dying around her, her plant, fish, –A little girl in the hospital she befriends. Dying of cancer.

    – She is drawn to Spar, and does not know why – suspicious of him.

    – Her hunger to find out why, she is drawn to him, growing stronger than her fear

    – like the women murdered, lured by a predator

    D. Moral dilemmas

    which patient to save – the baby or the little girl?

    – Save one – lose the other

    – Take a chance on trying to save both

    – What if both die?

    – Saving the man who just killed a child?

    – Or letting him die?

    – Is she coping, can she stand all the death and brutality?

    – Or is she losing it, losing control, becoming fearful, should she run?

    – She can’t understand – Story question – Why are the young women drawn to the predator?

    – Why do they take the chance of being lured by them to their torture, rape and death?

    – Should she trust the shadowy stranger – Spar – or be afraid of him??

    – Should she trust Zorro, the detective – or is he trying to trick and arrest her?

    – Should she trust the cop – Sullivan who seems to be protecting her? Or be weary of his brutality to the crazies in the ER?

    – She has accepted Var’s offer of a position to help her family financially –

    – Should she stay in all the chaos, danger, crime – Or should she run, get away and go home?

    E. Forced decisions they’d never make

    To follow Spar into the woods, alone – or stay where its safe?

    – Which patients to save – baby or the child? Risk both? Or let one die?

    – To save puppy, he will be home alone – or leave him in the ally?

    – calls cops on Spar – he is taking a child into woods – to feed the fawn

    Empathy: Put the character in distress.

    – Danny endures a nightmare of deviant intrigue – her Partners have a plan

    – Cannibalistic conspiracy – They are going to frame her for murdering their wives

    – She fails to save the lives in the ER – of the innocent victims of a serial murderer

    – She is unable to extricate herself, from frame – doctors have a snake in the grass

    – She is unjustly accused of murdering the wives for money – Zorro arrests her

    – She is alone, in over her head, in the city – hungry for home, family, love

    – She is drawn to Spar – but is made suspicious, as he seems to be stalking her

    – All that has happened, she is unable to trust– the one person who would help her

    Make them relatable:

    – Danny -stranger in the city – innocent, naïve – surrounded by danger

    – Homesick- missing her home in the green mountains, her home

    – Having financial problems –

    Universal emotional experiences:

    Weary from long hours on duty – apt unlived in, still unpacked, fish, plant, dead

    – With money problems – in danger of running to work in the dark

    – Danger from maniacs in ER, criminals, violence

    Emotionally draining from all the trauma, suicides, murders, and death.

    Lonely – needing to love and be loved – no time, energy, possibilities

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    November 16, 2023 at 9:54 pm in reply to: Lesson 4

    Connie Whitmer Mod 1- Lesson 4 – Assignment 2 –

    INNER CIRCLE OF CHARACTERS – INTRIGUE

    What I learned:

    This was great for coming up with ideas for Twist, after Twist, after Twist – needed for Binge Worthy Series – Intrigue.

    ASSIGNMENT 2

    1. For your Inner Circle characters, fill in any of the Intrigue items that apply.

    <ul type=”disc”>

  • Character Name: Danny Stroud
  • Role: Protagonist – journey: from innocent
    idealistic young doctor, to eyes wide

  • open to the sick corruption in the
    medical field among some.
  • Proves Theme – the prey is drawn to its predator
    by its own hunger
  • Hidden agendas: After
    she is falsely accused of murders in hospital, she sets out
  • to prove who is
    guilty.
  • Competition: The head nurse, trying to score a Surgeon, sees Danny
    as a threat,

  • sets out to destroy her career.
  • Conspiracies: After she escapes on her way to prison, she conspires
    with the
  • Detective to prove the
    Surgeons framed her
  • Secrets: Danny’s secret is what she witnessed, and happened to
    her on Saltash
  • Mountain, at the
    hands of the boys
  • Deception: After her escape, she sneaks back into the Hospital to
    find proof of
  • conspiracy of Head Nurse, administrators, and Surgeons
    to fix patient deaths
  • Wound: Is terror, feelings of helplessness,
    trapped, nightmares, fear of unknown
  • Secret Identity: When
    she sneaks back in to Hospital she disguises herself as a
  • housekeeping
    lady.
  • Character Name:
    Detective John Sorochinsky
  • Role:
    Contagonist – At first he hinders, intimidates, proves Danny is the murderer,
    then realizes she is falsely accused, helps her escape, hides her, and
    helps her get evidence for the Surgeons murdering their wives.
  • Hidden agendas: At first he pretends to help Danny, then arrests her,
    gets her found guilty – rescues her, hides her, and tries to help her find
    evidence against the Surgeons.
  • Competition: He
    ends up emotionally competing with Sparhawk for Danny, and suspects
    him. Defends her against him. Has him all wrong.
  • Conspiracies:
  • Secrets: One of the women killed, was his ex-wife, having an affair
    with one of the Surgeons. He
    is spying on Danny and Sparhawk, spawning his jealousy. He plots her escape from prison, lures
    in the Surgeons. Discovers the Surgeon’s Conspiracy, Secret Society, Sick
    and deviant little hobby, and unique collection.
  • Deception: He must maintain his belief that Danny is the murderer,
    while
  • Tricking head Nurse, Surgeons. And sneaking into the hospital with Danny
  • Wound: His wife, was having an affair with a
    Surgeon, he doesn’t know which one.
    She ends up one of the murdered women in the Park
  • Secret Identity:
    Housekeeping
  • <ul type=”disc”>

  • Character Name:
    Wyatt Sparhawk
  • Role: Shadow Character- Guardian, Mystery guy, love
    interest, possible murderer
  • Hidden agendas: He was there on Saltash Mountain, and witnessed what
    happened to Danny. Has
    secretly been watching over her for years.
  • Competition: He is competing for love interest with John, for
    Danny.
  • Conspiracies: He has conspired to find ways to stay close to her,
    works in Central Park, and takes care of her horse. Coaches wounded warrior’s
    kids,
  • Secrets: He was there when Var was killed, and
    when she was abducted by boys.
  • Deception: He
    pretends he doesn’t know her, she sees him following her, though afraid, and
    Det warns her against him, she is drawn to Sparhawk
  • Wound: What he
    has seen, what happened to Danny. And her Brother.
  • Secret Identity: – her Guardian for years.
  • Character Name: Dr Varden Grendel
  • Role: Antagonist – instigator of Danny’s
    nightmare as a child, on Saltash Mountain – has manipulated her entire
    life, for his own sick purposes, has plans for her
  • Hidden agendas: His manipulation of Danny’s entire life, Leader of Secret
    Society, boys club, hobby, head of collections.
  • Competition: Competes with everyone over total control over Danny,
    the murdered women, his wife,
  • Conspiracies: He runs the ancient Secret Society, master planner of Danny’s,
    her family’s, and the boys club, he is behind it all.
  • Secrets: He is
    the boy from Saltash Mountain, head of the boys club, Society, is related
    to founder, orchestrator, manipulator, with final solution.
  • Deception: He is the head of the most prestigious Surgical
    Practice in Manhattan, son of one of the wealthiest families in NY. Benefactor,
  • Wound: He survived the nightmare in Saltash Mountain, is psychopathology
    line bred? Inherited? Caused by some external factor? Or a choice?
  • Secret Identity:
    The boy from Saltash Mountain.
  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    November 9, 2023 at 1:39 am in reply to: Lesson 3

    BWTV-AI – MODULE 1 – lesson 3 11/8/23

    Connie Whitmer

    Engaging Main Characters That Sell Your Show Copy

    What makes a lead character engaging on multiple levels?

    What I learned doing this Assignment –

    A BWTV needs unique Main Characters, driving Mystery, Intrigue, and Suspense, and above all, making the Protagonist more and more desperate, increasing Stakes and risks, mentally, physically, emotionally, and psychologically – with Twists, to every Episode, and Season Climax.

    LESSON 3 -ASSIGNMENT 1:

    SCANDAL- Sample show:

    KATE:

    • A. Role in the show:
      Kate is the Theme – Driving Force, the Dilemma, Irony,
    • B. Unique Purpose:
      She is in the position of being raped, by the man she
      is prosecuting – illegal.
    • Expertise:
      She is the crack Prosecutor against James, as well as
      his victim.
    • C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface?
      Kate is part of the cheating scandal, as she is having
      an affair with a married man, herself, guilty as he is; and she was raped
      by James in Uni.
    • D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they
      crossing?
      Kate is guilty herself of cheating with a married man.
      She is James’s victim, yet did not recuse herself, which
      is illegal.
      She is destroying James family by persecution, and
      another family by cheating.
    • E. Unpredictable: What will they do next?
      Will she admit the rape? Admit the cheating with married man? Recuse
      herself, be fired? Incarcerated? Keep cheating? Confess to Sophie.
      Any of these choices will blow up all their lives, as
      well as destroy her own.
    • F. Empathetic: Why do we care?
      Kate and Sophie are the victims, yet they bear the
      burden of the cost, shame, and ruin. Scandal.
      Kate stands to lose her career, Sophie her
      family. James will come out
      unscathed unless the women do something.
      The innocent children will be hurt the most.

    LESSON 3 – ASSIGNMENT 2: MY SHOW – SALTASH MOUNTAIN 11/8/23

    Journey of Show –

    Season 1 –

    Young doctor Danny Stroud plans on finishing of her medical training, returning to her home in Vermont, and opening a rural practice. Because of the financial problems of her family and bills, she is lured into the most prestigious Surgical Practice in NYC. Only to be sucked into a black hole of conspiracy, revenge, and murder. Not knowing why, or by whom; She is falsely set up, accused, charged, tried, convicted, and on her way to prison – rescued, set free, and on the run. End Season 1

    Season 2 – she will find out by whom.

    Season 3 – and the sick and twisted – why.

    • A. Role in the show:
      An Innocent in a Strange World
      Danny Stroud
      – A young doctor, from the rural, green mountains of Vermont, becomes, ineptly
      trapped, and sucked in over her head in a big NYC, Surgical Practice by 4 surgeons. She is trapped, stranded, and desperate
      to survive, and then discovers that she is somehow connected to a series
      of Grisly murders.
    • B. Unique Purpose –
      Danny proves the Theme – prey is drawn to the predator
      by its own hunger.
    • Expertise:
      She is an excellent Internist, and expert in all things
      small town and country, babe in the woods in all things city.
    • C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface?
      She is haunted by a nightmare abduction in her past,
      taken to Saltash Mountain, and terrorized by a group of boys. She never told anyone. The Surgeons in her practice were the
      boys. Blaming her, they have manipulated her entire
      education, internship, and residency, and now, she is part of their practice.
    • D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they
      crossing?
      Danny is forced to observe the big lies of the Medical Profession:
      The corruption, the greed, the sadism,
      the opposite of “Do no harm.”
      She is faced
      with dilemma, after dilemma, of twisted medicine and patient treatment,
      supported by the Hospital Administration, kickbacks, paybacks, coverups, of negligence and incompetence,
      Surgeons kicked out for malpractice. Then hired When she tries to save patients in spite
      of the system against her. She is then
      threatened – next time you will be fired . . .
    • E. Unpredictable:
      What will they do next?
      What will Danny do
      when:
      She finds patients
      dying from malpractice – deliberate negligence.
      The wives start
      dying, on her shifts, her post op patients.
      One of the
      murdered young women is her friend,
      When Danny catches
      one of the Surgeon killing a patient
      They try to kill
      her father on a ventilator.
      The Detective
      thinks she is guilty of murders.
      The Detective
      finds evidence the surgeons are guilty.
      He tries to help
      her escape, after getting her convicted of murder.
    • F. Empathetic: Why do we care?
      -Danny has a worthy goal of wanting to help, heal and restore the sick in her hometown. She just wants to go home.
      The Practice is setting her up, to take the fall for their malpractice, killing their wives
      – She is trapped an innocent in a strange world, foreign to her – the city, a corrupt Medical System, a lack of empathy, and greed oriented. They are destroying her dream.
      – She hops on the grenade to try and save her family financially. Sacrificing herself, trying to survive in a hostile environment.
      She needs someone to love and watch over her, defend her, protector. She really wants Sparhawk to trust – but Detective makes her suspect him.

    Dr Var Grendel

    A. Role in the show:

    – A Pro pulling the Puppet Strings, the Antagonist to Danny’s dream, plan, career, family, external and internal and psychological Conflicts.

    • B. Unique Purpose:
      – Head of the most prestigious practice in NYC , Head
      of the secret Society, Head of the boy’s club. Represents the most
      diabolical practices of Medical System.
    • C. Expertise:
      – Master Plastic Surgeon, face lifts, changing features,
      Head of the secret Society and boy’s club.
      He has masterminded, the Scheme, for all the boys from Saltash.
      – His reputation is untouchable, he is smooth, handsome,
      charming, a Psychopath
      – Heads up the expeditions to Africa, in the footsteps
      of missing Rockefeller
    • C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface?
      Grendel is one of the boys from Saltash Mountain, he has been manipulating Danny’s life,
      choices, medical school opportunities, and finally, into the Practice.
      His motivation is revenge for what Danny’s father did
      to the boys, after he found her,
      What Var is capable of
      What they actually do in Africa
      What the Secret Society is
    • D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they
      crossing?
      Grendel goes against the Hippocratic Oath, all the
      time.
      He has no empathy, conscience, or remorse, he is the
      ultimate predator.
      HE uses his victim’s own hunger to draw them in to his
      control, for his purposes.
    • E. Unpredictable: What will they do next?
      What is his ultimate goal for Danny?
      How will he manipulate her?
      How is he hiding his crimes?
      What is he doing in Africa?
      Why is he serial-skinning women?
    • F. Empathetic: Why do we care?
      We care about Grendel’s victims,
      We agonize over what he is doing to Danny.
      We agonize watching him manipulate women, to endanger
      themselves.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by  websystems.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by  websystems.
  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    November 6, 2023 at 7:36 pm in reply to: Lesson 2

    MOD 1 – ASSIGNMENT 2 11/5/230

    Connie Whitmer – Three Circles of Characters

    What I learned doing this assignment, is what is needed for my BWTV Series:

    A tantalizing hook opening, in Flashback – a unique situation, in a fascinating and unfamiliar world. With an empathetic and interesting Main Character, trapped in a nightmare initiated by a killer Inciting incident, that involves all the main characters.

    Present time-12 years later, the repercussions of that nightmare event, result in great dangers, risks, and huge stakes, capable of destroying her world, and everyone she loves. As the unique and demented murders pile up, the main characters are bound together by this common Nightmare event.

    RESULTING IN: an unfolding Mystery – what really happened to her as a child, on Saltash Mountain? Who was responsible? What happened to them?

    Intrigue – How are they all connected to the current sick and bizarre series of murders in NYC? Who is committing them? How is Danny connected? What is their insidious plan? Why is she targeted, tried, and convicted of the murders? How can she stop their plan, and prove her innocence?

    What are the mysteries, intrigue and nightmare ramifications of the Secret Subworlds: in the sick practice of surgeons, built into the hospital patient care system, and the secret society that began years ago in Parkers Gore, that holds nightmare ramifications for every patient admitted into a hospital today?

    And Suspense – What will happen next in every BW scene, Act, TP, and episode? Will she find the answers to all the above, and will she and those she loves, survive? Will she be tricked, trapped, betrayed, set up, blamed, caught, imprisoned, again? Will she be the next victim? Can she fight the power, the money, the obsession, the machinations of a sick and twisted mind . . .

    Culminating, in Danny’s return to the scene and the events of that horrific day, in her childhood. And the soul-shattering nightmare, that began and will end, with the truth, of what took place on Saltash Mountain, And what it really means, the next time you or someone you love is admitted to the hospital . . . . and you sign on line of your “Living Will”?

    And most important of all – TWISTS, in every character arc, Act, TP, Mystery, secret, wound, flaw, intrigue and ultimate CLIMAX FROM HELL, WITH THE GREATEST TWIST OF ALL.

    ASSIGNMENT 1:

    Watch the next episode of your Example Show to see how the characters fit into these three circles:

    MOD 1- ASSIGNMENT 2 – THREE CIRCLES OF CHARACTERS SCANDAL

    A. MAIN CHARACTERS CIRCLE – Unique Role – Secret and Intrigue

    Kate – A Parliamentary lawyer prosecuting James PM for a sex scandal and rape

    Kate Secrets– She is guilty as James, having an affair with a married man

    – is breaking the law by not recusing herself as prosecutor of James’ trial

    – After the rape by James in Uni. Moved and changed her name

    Kate Intrigue – Flashback – Kate was there for the night of Libertine debauchery, in

    University, and was raped, as a virgin, by James.

    Sophie wife of James and mother of their two children, world is shattered by the shame of her husband’s sex scandal and rape.

    Sophie’s Secret – She saw James leave with Polly/Kate, that night at UNI

    Sophie Intrigue Flashback– Sophie was also in University with James, the night of Libertine debauchery. When Polly disappeared, and Alex, a friend of James, committed suicide, by jumping off a roof.

    James – A successful PM in Parliament, blows up his family’s lives, and his career, caught in a sex scandal, and rape of a pretty young colleague.

    James Intrigue – Flashbacks of the night of debauchery with the Libertines, a fraternity at University, where he raped a virgin named Polly and goaded another Libertine

    James’ Secret – He had affair, accused of rape, raped Kate in Uni, and goaded Alex to to commit suicide.

    A. Connected Circle:

    Ann – Kate’s best friend – and confidant from their University years, knows about her rape by James, and brings up her legal jeopardy in prosecuting him.

    Michael – Kate’s lover – a married man with a family, represents the seedy duplicity of the Parliamentary system. Adultery is fine, as long as you don’t get caught, and there is no scandal.

    Molly – Kate’s secretary – is conscientious, and dedicated to her, but questions her judgment.

    Regan – Kate’s adversary Kate’s colleague and James’ defense attorney, represents her adversary in court, for his scandal case.

    Christine – Sophie and James’ nanny – She is devoted to family, represents their trusted inner circle.

    Sophie’s two children – Lilly 11, Jack 9, victims of their father’s sex scandal, both question what is happening to their family.

    Emily – Sophie’s friend who waits with her, as their kids get out of school, she is the reflection of their social circle’s attitude toward Sophie, and James’ sex scandal.

    Sophie’s in-laws – James’ parents, represent the tolerance of the Upper crust, regarding their son’s sex scandal, and the sick misogynistic Parliament.

    Matthew -The current PM – James’ best friend in Oxford, in the Libertines Club together

    James’ worst nightmare – the bigmouth assistant to Mathew the PM, unfiltered truth

    James’ lover – Olivia, his colleague, object of the sex scandal, and victim of rape

    B. Environment Circle:

    Kate – Her career circle – The Court – Judge, jury, Defense attorney

    Her flashback circle – Uni with Sophie and the Libertines

    Sophie –her social circle – the wives of other politicians,

    Her flashback circle – in UNI – the Libertines

    Her scandal circle – the paparazzi

    James – his work circle – colleagues,

    His flashback circle – the Libertines, and victims

    His scandal circle – the paparazzi

    Assignment 2 – my show <i style=””>“ On Saltash Mountain”

    1. Create the three circles of characters for your show.

    A. Main Characters Circle: Unique Role – Secret – Intrigue


    1, Danny Stroud – a young doctor, dreams of going through Medical School with her brother, then opening a country practice in their hometown, in Vermont.

    Their dream is crushed, when Neill returns from serving as a Marine, in Afghanistan, paralyzed from the waist down.

    Due to emotional, and financial strains, increasing taxes, and political destruction of the family farms in Vermont; by “Taxing the Rich”; Medical School bills, Neill’s Medical bills – the Stroud family is at risk of losing the farm, passed down to them for generations.

    Danny is desperate to help them keep their beloved home, survive financially, and heal emotionally.

    She puts her dream on hold, and her desperate hunger to get out of the city, and return to the family, town’s people, and Green Mountains, she loves.

    Is lured, and excepts a coveted position in the most prestigious, and lucrative Surgical Practice, in Manhattan – the Practice from Hell, and the machinations of a sick and twisted mind.

    Danny will be the Surgical Practice’s Internist. In charge of post-op Medical Care of their patients. The Practice will pay off her Medical School bills, her brother’s medical bills, and pay her well. For which she owes them 5 years, as their Internist.

    Danny’s Secret – She is tormented by Flashbacks of a horrifying abduction in her childhood, when she was 10, by a group of 4 older boys, on Saltash Mountain. She never told anyone.

    Danny’s Intrigue – She was abducted to an obscure valley between Saltash and Killington Mountains, and savaged mentally and physically, by a group of young boys. Who they were, what really happened, and where they are now, haunts her every nightmare.

    Danny’s Unique Role – Protagonist, Emotion, and Free Spirit Character– who has a worthy dream, to open a medical practice of her own, to help and heal, those who need it most, and will fight for it throughout the story.

    Danny’s arc is from – innocence, idealism, and promising young Internist, wanting to help, heal, and restore those who need it, in her practice in her hometown of Shrewsbury Vermont – to tricked, betrayed, trapped, falsely accused, sacrificial lamb of the Surgeons. (the boys of Saltash Mountain.)

    Danny is arrested, charged with murder, tried, found guilty, and sentenced to life in prison for the murders of the Surgeons’ wives, the Surgeons for whom she works.

    2, Dr. Varden Grendel – a World-renowned Plastic Surgeon, Antagonist, and Reason, Control Character

    Lures Danny, into their practice, with payment of her Med School bills, and a lucrative position in his 5 surgeon practice, as an Internist. To care for their post-surgical patients, in Manhattan. Grendel and the shared experience in their youth is

    Grendel’s Unique RoleAntagonist, Control Freak, line-bred Psychopath, Temptation

    Grendel opposes, her dream, her family, her going home, her strength resisting his temptation.

    He has manipulated her entire life, without her knowing it, and led her down his primrose path . . .

    When he can no longer control her:

    Mentally – she is suspicious and intent on solving what happened to their wives

    Physically – he can no longer stop her from going home, spending time with Sparhawk, riding her horse, where she cannot be caught.

    Emotionally- caring for, trusting in, and seeking out the mysterious, SHADOW, GUARDIAN – Sparhawk

    Grendel is her opposite in every way:

    Tricking, betraying, tormenting her.

    A sick and deviant obsessive control freak.

    He is one of the “boys from Saltash Mountain”, and the nightmare of her childhood.

    He seeks revenge for events that took place there, and a sick release of his obsession

    Total control over her and his victims – their thoughts, memories, guilt, trauma,

    Even the breaths they take.

    Grendel’s Secrets

    IN THE PAST

    He was the boy in the beginning, the hook, the terrorized victim, on Saltash Mountain.

    He is the “tug of war”, to the story question – are Phychopaths bred and born, with no chance of remorse, empathy, or cure?

    Or are they formed, by society?

    Ruined by man and circumstance?

    The sins of the fathers?

    By trauma at birth?

    Or are they line bred, and born – Missing the human, heart and soul,

    Missing the Amygdala part of the Brain – responsible for Narcissism, Sociopathic and Psychopathic behavior, lying, cheating, stealing, using, manipulating, ruining, murder,

    Incapable of empathy, remorse, joy, true laughter and love.

    Grendel is the living metaphor for – “No one ever gets to leave Saltash Mountain.”

    IN THE Interim –

    Dr. Grendel is responsible for:

    The master plan for the 5 surviving boys, line bred Sociopaths, all descendants of a Daniel Parker of Saltash Mountain – leaving.

    Reported by Danny’s father, and taken away by child protective services to a home

    Adopted out to wealthy families, as a project by them to see if the underprivileged could be rehabilitated, and even successful.

    All the boys go to the best prep school, Phillips Exeter Academy,

    All were admitted to Harvard undergraduate and medical school. All marrying daughters of wealthy patrons.

    Their parents all meet untimely deaths.

    The boys end up assuming their father’s positions on :

    the board of Directors of the NYU Medical School, Hospitals,

    Museum of Natural History,

    Crippled Children,

    Wounded Warrior’s and other pet prestigious projects. All of whom meet untimely deaths, the boys, inheriting their fortunes.

    Grendel running, orchestrating the show, manipulating Danny’s scholarships to college, her only admission the NYU medical School, her internship, and residency, The Secret Society.

    Grendel also revives the Secret Society started by his great great grand Sire – Daniel Weaver –

    PRESENT DAY –

    Grendel is responsible for the horrible murders and unique mutilation of the women, found, mutilated, but still alive in Central Park.

    An occasion cultivated after his trauma on Saltash, and later in the “system.”

    Grendel’s Intrigue – His Flashbacks of the Nightmare on the mountain, are most complete, and really sick.

    He blames Danny’s father for reporting the boys to the authorities,

    Their “culling” torment, called for by the Society, in the orphanage,

    Enduring experimentation on their amygdales: surgeries, hormones, solitary confinement, torture, bullying, alcohol and drugs, as their sponsors follow the tenants of the “Society “

    From the Grendel has manipulated them all, Danny, the four surgeons in the practice, their deviant fraternity that started at Exeter, are all bound together by the events of one horrific day and night, on Saltash Mountain,

    And none will know his soul-blowing end-game, until they all go back again, to relive it.

    3, Detective John Sorochinsky – NYPD – homicide, NYC –

    Assigned to find the perpetrators of a series of horrific crimes – the skinning of faces and scalps from female victims, leaving them still alive. In Central Park.

    Detective Sorochinsky’s Unique Role – He is the relentless Contagionist to Danny’s Protagonist.

    The evidence points to her, having something to do with the murders.

    He investigates her and helps get her arrested, convicted, and sent to prison,

    Only to find out she is innocent.

    Then he is determined to save her.

    He will help her escape, hide her,

    Protect her from the “Shadow” Sparhawk, who he thinks is dangerous

    Detective Sorochinsky’s Secret – Grizzly murders are not personal for him – until these. The first of the victims is his ex-wife, who ran off to have an affair with an unknown Doctor. Is the first victim.

    Hence his antagonism towards the perpetrators.

    He vows to solve the crime, who, what, why, and find the killer,

    Then kill them all slowly – without a trial.

    Detective Sorochinsky Intrigue – He delves deep into solving the crimes, and the involvement by doctors.

    – Discovers the little club, the disturbed “boys from Saltash Mountain”, have had since the prestigious Exeter prep school,

    – The” Leather Balls” where they all played Rugby,

    – and the bizarre unsolved crimes committed while they were there,

    – The bizarre deaths of their wealthy adoptive parents, and how they all ended up together.

    – All were adopted by wealthy, philanthropic families of Physicians. Attended med school together

    – All suffered the tragic death of all their children in a horrific school but crash, over a cliff.

    – All their wives, who tragically died in ICU after surgery, under the care of Danny Stroud, the Practice’s new Internist.

    – And the suspected involvement of a mysterious ex vet, where Danny goes to ride her horse in Central Park,

    – Sparhawk, who always manages to be around when John is with Danny.

    – Sparhawk. Helping to heal Wounded Warriors, and Ruined Horses.

    – He coaches Little League, in the park including the children of the boys from Saltash mountain.

    – 2. Detective John Sorochinsky – who arrested her,

    – – collects evidence against her,

    – – comes to believe she is innocent.

    – – Must find a way to rescue, help her escape, hide her.

    – – Then protect her, So they can find the real killers.

    – – The nightmare keeps getting worse, as he tries to help her.

    – Every time the Det finds a clue to help solve the murders, something else pops up that makes his theory seem – first – impossible – then unfathomable!

    – – As he peels away the layers, of a larger, deeper, sicker more unconscionable corruption, and unthinkable conspiracy are revealed

    4, Wyatt SparhawkSHADOW. Guardian – unseen, a shadowy figure, a mystery, a Veteran, half Indian,

    Works to heal and restore wounded warriors and horses in Central Park Horse facility, where Danny keeps her horse, Coal. Seems to be following Danny,

    Sparhawk’s Unique Role – He is the Shadow and Guardian figure,

    – Danny comes to believe he is watching over her

    Sorochinsky believes he is a threat, always watching her,

    Sparhawk’s Secret – He was there that day when the evil was spawned.

    – He witnessed the sick torment and slaughter of a boy and his pet coon. ( the Hook opening)

    – The death of hope and dream for escape, from the Gore, and a new life. The day when Saltash Mountain oozed, gushed, and spurted, with Weaver blood.

    Sparhawk Intrigue – eventually we realize that is Danny’s Guardian, and has been most of her life.

    – Watching over her, protecting her from the evil, he witnessed in Saltash Mountain.

    – He will become her love interest, tether to the Green Mountains, hope for the future, and savior, offering himself up to save her once again, from the Climatic evil of the final showdown, on Saltash Mountain.

    – Sparhawk, as a child, was the one to save her that day she was trapped by the boys from Saltash Mountain.

    5, Griffin Foster Esq– Young Public Defender, and Danny’s appointed lawyer,

    Who grew up in the same rural town as Danny.

    Friend of her brother,

    Always loved Danny – first as a little sister . . .

    And mentored, by her father,

    Clerked in his office.

    He is desperate to save Danny from prison. In the trial of the century in NYC.

    Griffin Foster’s Unique Role – He is her Logic and childhood friend.

    – With no money for Law School, Danny’s father, US Attorney for Vermont, mentored him, supported him, and let Griffin Clerk for him. Allowing him to sit for the Bar.

    Brian Stroud, Danny’s father – the legendary best and fiercest trial lawyer in the history of Vermont. Brian Stroud Esq, from farm boy to becoming US Attorney, was appointed by three Presidents.

    Griffin Foster’s secret – He was also tormented and savaged, as a child. By the boys from Saltash Mountain. And told no one.

    Griffin Foster’s Intrigue – Like Danny, full of shame, and wishing only to forget, he never told anyone what happened to him that day, on Saltash.

    – Eventually, they will confide to each other and share the bits and pieces they remember.

    – For Danny’s trial, Griffen will bring Brian Stroud, out of retirement, like a raging bull!

    – They will summon all the mighty men, to testify in Court. The two of them, side by side,

    – Standing alone up against the huge law firms of the Hospital, the prestigious Surgeons,

    – As they fight against all the control freaking, lying, cheating, stealing corrupt, bullying, narcissistic, murders, on their high horses,

    – rattling the cages of all their Subworlds, the media, the money-mongering Big Pharma,

    – revealing the underbelly of corruption in the medical field,

    – and the most cruel and unconscionable hoax, thrust upon trusting patients –

    The “Living Will”, ostensibly to save their loved ones from suffering.

    – All the while the fiery Brian Stroud and Griffin Foster, inch by inch, gain against Satan’s minions – revealing the Truth, “kicking against the bastard pricks”, and “bringing in the bloody, gut-ripped Sheaves”!

    – “McGuffin” – the biggest hoax in Medical History – To relieve the suffering of the hopelessly dying – the merciful “Living Will”.


    B- Connected Circle

    Neil Stroud – Danny’s brother, paralyzed in ski accident, causes financial strain on family

    Brian Stroud –Mentor – Danny’s father, the retired and legendary, most fearsome US Attorney, in the history of Vermont, is desperate to keep his farm and family together, and afloat financially.

    Annelyn Stroud – Annie, Danny’s mother, is desperate to hold her family together emotionally, and bring her home from the city.

    Michael O’Sullivan – NYPD Cop – snake in the grass cop, up to something no good. A bad Shadow.

    Mary Jane Riley ER Nurse, Danny’s best friend, confident, and coworker, desperate for love, and slightly promiscuous. She knows they are killing people. Can’t resist temptation.

    Devoney Linton – Respiratory Therapist, and friend of MJ and Danny’s, included in all Code 99s and life and death situations, with Danny. She knows they are killing people.

    Head Nurse – Debhoora Greenwitch head RN – sociopath, spy, falsifying charts for Surgeons, “Asp in the grass” constantly looking for someone to burn. Desperate to snag a surgeon.

    Dr. Ruth Burner – ER doctor – In charge of ER Bellevue Hospital – History of deliberate negligence, and incompetence, with horrific ramifications and death. “Dr Ruthless”

    The most prestigious practice in Manhattan headed up by Var Grendel includes:

    Dr. Adolf Freed Surgeon in THE PRACTICE – Plastic Surgery, history of patient deaths, Kickbacks, poisonous Implants. History of infection and Sepsis, Intentional neglect, and coverup. “Dr Greed”

    Dr. Mark Zumorko – Surgeon in THE PRACTICESpine Surgeon, kicked out of previous Med Center, banned from spine surgery, history of paralyzing patients. neglecting them post op. Falsifying charts, charming. Known for his rectal exams. “ Dr. Death”

    Dr. Victor Abdu – Surgeon in THE PRACTICESpine Head of Dept, uses patients for cadaver practice by residents, for kickbacks “Dr Frankenstein.”

    Dr. Pawar Singh- Surgeon In THE PRACTICE, specialty, Abdominal Hernia mesh – Kickbacks, and collusion for Residency’s, bad mesh manufacturers, inserts dangerous and unneeded mesh training his relations, which prove fatal. “The Godfather”

    Dr. Marisa RossenWonderful surgeon, truly cares, a friend of Danny and MJ. Tries to save Danny, when she ends a patient of the PRACTICE.

    Dr. Mathew Rimmer – Mesh Expert in NYC – horse boards with Danny’s recognizes mesh, malpractice and coverup, expert witness in Danny’s trial against murder.

    Thomas Conway Esq – Prosecution attorney, prosecutes Danny in murder trial, Cronie of Board of Directors of Hospital, Golfing buddy of all. “Dr Fibromyalgia”

    Dr Hartoda – ER Physician – demeaning, blow off, surgeon, misdiagnoses, writes Google on everyone’s charts to demean their symptoms. God’s gift of diagnosis. “Dr. Jeckell”

    Resident Beth Shumer – Shadows Hartoda, the ultimate Egotist, Narcissist, and tool of the Hospital, daughter of the President of the Hospital. God Complex – “Ms Hyde”

    Leroy O Brien RN – Triage nurse in the Belleview ER – friend of Danny’s MJ and Devoney – Sidekick, humor, On the front lines of the triage desk, and the Voice on the other end of her beeper, pulling to the Hospital ER. There is mutual, love, and comradery as they are both held “hostage” in the city, by “Lucifer’s Minions.”

    C. Environment Circle:

    Danny –

    Her close-knit hometown, neighbors, teachers, minister, fire department, Town Hall meetings, dances, band.

    Co-workers at Belleview, staff in ER, ICU, Burn Unit, Morgue, Ca ward, surgery.

    Housekeepers, laundry, lunchroom staff, security, Code 99 and 33 teams.

    Riders, wounded warriors, instructors, stable people at Central Park stable

    The Surgeon’s Wives and children in the Practice

    Hospital administration – President, Medical Director, quality assurance, board of

    directors, firing squad.

    Var Grendel

    His wife and children,

    Hospital and office staff,

    His benefactor Causes,

    Museum of Natural History

    Facial reconstruction for Crippled Children

    Mercy Medical Projects for natives in South America

    Country Club and colleagues

    Head Speaker at National Plastic Surgery Medical Conferences

    The Media

    “The boy’s club.” “The Leather Balls”

    The shadows, secrets, and slaughterhouse of Saltash Mountain

    Detective Sorochinsky and Officer O’Sullivan

    Police Station

    Locker Room

    Local Bar

    Ice Hockey team

    Morgue

    Wyatt Sparhawk – Little league coach, and head of program to restore Wounded Warriors, and horses. Watches over Danny’s horse in the Central Park Stable – “Coal” her only “ sun on her face, and wind in her hair”, and only connection to the meadows and mountains of home,

    Central Park

    The Stable, outbuildings and trails throughout Central Park

    The secret nooks and crannies of the old slaughterhouse, on Saltash Mountain where he grew up. Close to where Danny grew up.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by  cheryl croasmun.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by  websystems.
  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    October 18, 2023 at 8:50 pm in reply to: Lesson 1

    ASSIGNMENT – 1 WHAT IS A BW SHOW? 10/17/23

    SCANDAL

    WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS ASSIGNMENT: What a pilot needs to be BW.

    A tantalizing hook opening, a unique situation, in a fascinating and unfamiliar world, with empathetic, interesting Characters, each trapped in a nightmare initiated by a killer Inciting incident, with great risks, and huge stakes. All drawn together by a common event – A scandal big enough to blow up their worlds and destroy them all. With Mystery, what really happened, Intrigue, who is driving the scheme, and Suspense about what will happen next – in every scene, episode, and season.

    1. Big Picture Hook –

    A successful young PM, in the British House of Commons, with the perfect family, gets caught in a sex scandal, his unsuspecting wife taking the brunt of the shame. While a barrister, also having an affair with a married man, finds out she has been offered the case that will rattle the cages of the Empire -THE QUEEN VS WHITEHOUSE

    2. Intriguing Character, interesting

    Kate – Absolute professional, driven, respected, yet alone, shallow affair, second to wife, not as interesting as her career, only needs a drink, and a worthy case. Gets it.

    <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Ironically – A case lands on her desk. A well-liked PM suffering the fallout of a cheating scandal is accused of a vicious rape. To her chagrin – THE QUEEN VS WHITEHOUSE

    Sophi – Devoted, and unsuspecting wife of James, raising their two children, in shock, must bear the brunt of her husband’s scandal and shame. She appears to forgive and forge on, yet she has told him, she is not like her mother, and will not sit by while he betrays her.

    James – Young PM with an enviable education, career, and family, risks throwing it all away, in a scandalous 5-month affair with a woman he bumped into in the Halls of the House of Commons. He is informed he is being charged with rape.

    3. Empathy/ Distress

    Kate – We empathize with her having no life, just a career, while her lover is out partying with his wife. Alone at night in her office with only her work and a drink. Yet she is expected to take on the scandalous case of a young PM, also cheating on his wife – for the Queen.

    Kate PRO ON A MISSION IN A BIGGER WORLD.

    Subworld – Legal System – a two-faced legal system, tainted by immorality.

    Ep 1 Arc – Everything in control – to Twist – her ordered world, blows up.

    Her stakes – her career. Her risk – she is the one destroying another marriage

    Sophi – We empathize with her love for her husband and children, yet his betrayal, destroys her emotionally, and the scandal will destroy the children as well. We worry for her.

    Sophi represents – AN INNOCENT ON A MISSION IN HOSTILE WORLD.

    Subworld – The wives of politicians, must sacrifice their lives for husbands’

    careers; all the while the well-being of their families is at stake

    EP 1 Arc – From happy little family, married to the “golden boy”, to

    TWIST – utter Devastation, her world shattered. Getting worse all the time.

    Her RISK – her marriage. At stake – the welfare of her children.

    James – Perpetrator of the Scandal, Is empathetic only because he had it all, and is in danger of losing everything. However, though he did not choose the scandal; he chose to risk losing his wife and family, by wantonly betraying, thus destroying those who loved him. His distress comes only from being caught.

    James represents – AN OUTLAW DISRUPTS THE CURRENT WORLD

    Ep 1 Arc – From Oxford athlete, a favorite of PM, the darling of the House, who has it all, family, beautiful loving wife, children, the envy of all, to not only embroiled in a sex scandal he survives – TWIST – Accused of Rape

    His risk – his career, reputation, a life to be admired – His stakes, his wife and children.

    1. Layers/Open Loops

    Kate – Although she appears to have her entire boring, lonely life under control, she is having an affair as well with a married man. Twist- she is put in charge of the scandalous case for the Queen. We must watch to see how she handles the case.

    Sophi – The Subworld of the House of Commons, where affairs seem to be rampant, and accepted, leaves the wives and children to cope and carry on.

    Something has happened in her past, with her mother, and she and James –

    She has warned him before, she is not like her mother, and will not put up with it. We must watch to see the ramifications of her threat.

    James – Beneath the surface, of the normal goings on of the House, there seems to be a culture of affairs, and acceptance, among the men. Which could explode for any of them. There is also something going on with Sophi’s friends, they know more than they are saying, Twist – Just when it looks like James’ family and career will survive – he is accused of rape. And is “blown away”.

    2. Inviting Obsession

    Kate – Twist – How will she handle the scandal, prosecuting for the Queen, when she is guilty herself of the same crime?

    Sophi –Twist – How will she take it as the scandal grows, and finds out James is accused of rape? What intrigue is her friend a part of?

    James – Twist – He is questioned about the rape of Olivia. What was the deal in the end? He being, sucked back? Did he do the rape? What else will come to the fore? Is he being set up? By Whom?

    END ASS. 1

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    October 14, 2023 at 6:57 pm in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

    I, Connie Whitmer agree to the terms of this release form.

    GROUP RELEASE FORM

    As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

    1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

    2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

    I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

    3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

    4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

    5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

    6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    October 14, 2023 at 6:48 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

    1. Connie Whitmer

    2. I’ve written one script

    3. I’m working on a suspense thriller using Hal’s screenwriting techniques. I thought I would try to write the TV Series as well.

    4. I signed up for what I thought was to be a great camping trip for 30 days in the Southern Utah desert. I had everything I would ever need: a couple of great books, shampoo, hair conditioner, sleeping bag, pad, cute hat, sunglasses, TP paper, suntan lotion, etc. . . .

    The first day, they told us to put everything in the back of a truck and we would be getting it later. Later was 30 days later. 30 days in the same clothes, no hat, sunglasses, hairbrush, rubber bands, TP paper . . . eating snakes, sleeping in bat caves, chewing on dead carcass tendons to attach arrowheads we chipped, to bows we made, repelling cold turkey down a several hundred-foot cliff, swept away by flash floods in dry riverbeds, with nothing but a 6-inch pocketknife they gave us. I you ever need someone to start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, in the pouring rain, on the edge of a creek where every cougar, bobcat, wolves, coyote, rattler comes to drink in the evening . . . I’m your girl!

    5. I have taken 18 of Hal’s classes. All amazing, including the BWTV.

    Here’s the takeaway . . .

    <font face=”inherit”>When the pain is too much, and you realize you can’t make it one more step, physically; you </font>shut off your body, and let your mind take you someplace else.

    <font face=”inherit”>When the agony is too much, and you can’t stand it one more </font>minute; you shut off your mind and just put one foot in front of the other. <font face=”inherit”> </font>

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    February 2, 2023 at 8:39 pm in reply to: Lesson 4

    30 Day Script ASSIGNMENT – 4

    Connie Whitmer – 4 Interviewing Characters

    I loved this! So many new ideas for conflict, dilemma, crisis, dialogue! Great technique!

    Hero – BRIAN

    Tell me about yourself.

    I’m the youngest of 12 boys, sons of Cennetig, one of the 150 tribal kings of Ireland, from a long list of warriors, all buried up on the hill. Who fought the enemies of Ireland, so they could have peace in Thomond, to fish the Shannon, raise cattle, horses, kids. In peace and freedom.

    Why do you think you were called to this journey? Why you?

    I don’t know why. Had my Da, and brothers lived, I wound not have, if the Irish Kings, like my father, would have stood up against the Dane the High King, and other Irish traitors, I would not.

    If there had been any honor, pride, empathy for our people, courage to never surrender, on the part of the High King – I would not.

    You are up against. What is it about them that makes this journey even more difficult for you?

    Against the most powerful Vikings of the time, 600 years of Ui Neill High Kings, and the most powerful Provincial Kings in Ireland – – – how does this make it worse? – They are the ones that should be protecting their people. The Danes never should have gotten a foothold in Ireland. If the Irish traitor Kings had the courage to be loyal to their people, rather than seek power and gold.

    In order to survive or accomplish this, you are going to have to step way outside of your box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them will be the most difficult?

    Changes – My father and brothers are all gone, Mahon is giving in. there is no one else who will stand up against them all. I will have to do it!

    Most Difficult – to spend a lifetime of war, of battles, of death to restore our Ireland, in freedom and peace. And some of my enemies will be Irish, and the companions of my youth.

    What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let go of?

    Lost days of peace, contentment, freedom of catching the biggest fish.

    Living without all my brothers.

    Standing up against my brother, refusing to be second to chief the Clan

    Keeping my vow to drive the Danes back into the sea and drown them in their own blood.

    A life of battle, fighting, dying, no rest, no peace, no safety from treachery, no one to trust.

    Not having a family, making a home, keeping them safe

    Dying young.

    What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back?

    Nothing has held me back! Ever since the day in the tower, when they savaged the little girl, and slaughtered my family. Nothing ever will.

    What skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this conflict or antagonist?

    Growing up the youngest of 11 brothers, son of Cennetig and member of the Clan Dal Cass

    What are you hiding from the other characters? What don’t you want them to know?

    How must I want peace, love, family, freedom, in my life. And I will do anything to achieve it!

    What do you think of?

    I think back to the day, before the attack, I remember it perfectly, every moment,

    my fish dragging me through the water.

    The attack of the sea eagle

    The sun in my eyes

    The first image of the little red-headed girl in the shallows, laughing at me.

    I close my eyes at night, and whenever I think I can’t stand it anymore . . . and I would give anything . . . the rest of my life to have taken her by the hand and run away, before the Danes came . . .

    Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story.

    Like a rot the invaders came to rape and slaughter, steal, our treasure, the women and children, the cowards always go after the helpless – use, hurt, destroy, or sell as slaves the slave markets in Andalusia, Byzantium. What man is so cowardly he needs to pray on the most helpless.

    Then what Craven Cowards are greedy enough to allow it! To watch it, before their eyes, to become bend-over hoors to the Danes for greed! It sickens me and spawns a rage I cannot or will not deny.

    Not on my watch. Not in my homeland. Not my people! .

    What does it do for your life is you succeed here?

    It is the only way I can keep the ones I love, and my people safe. I will make Ireland Free, and in Peace – or I will die trying. And take all the greedy bastards I can, with me.

    What if you lose your war?

    Then my dream is over, and I fear my people will be lost, against the traitors and tyrants. No freedom, no peace, no joy, no hope for the future of Ireland. Like the ancient raisers of stones – we will be swept away over the cliffs at the edge of the world, our blood on the stones . . . washed away . . ..

    ANTAGONIST – MALACHY

    Tell me about yourself.

    I am the heir to 600 years of Ui Neill High Kingship, upon the death of my father I will be HK. I will maintain and increase the power and wealth of my Clan. And maintain status quo.

    Having to do with this journey, what are your strengths and weaknesses?

    Strengths – my inherited talents, strength, determination, make sure all submit.

    Why are you committed to making the Protagonist fail?

    Brian’s Grandsire, Lorcan was the only Irish tribal King out of 150 to refuse to submit to my Grandsire Malachy I. as High King. One day Reserving the right to claim the throne. For his clan. Now that the Danes of all but destroyed his Clan, and his last brother, acquiescing to my authority, there is only one problem. The youngest son, Brian will not submit to the Danes, the Irish Kings, or to anyone who will not fight against, what he perceives to by tyrants in Erin.

    Or for a relationship movie, why are you committed to making them change?

    Brian will submit to my authority, as High King, or he will die.

    What do you get out of winning this fight?

    Uncontested authority as next High King. If I succeed, I will have accomplished the expectation of the Clan Ui Neill. If I fail, I will be the first loser in 600 years! I will not allow Brian an insignificant orphan to usurp me.

    What drives you toward your mission, even in the face of danger, ruin, or death?

    I cannot fail, and be the one who loses 600 years of the Throne.

    What secrets must you keep succeeding?

    I will do anything to succeed. The stakes are too high.

    I am jealous of Brian, He has managed to get, achieve, steal from me everything I desire, the people love him. He haunts me. And the more Ireland he frees from the Irish and Danes, the bigger threat he is.

    Intrigue – I will lie, steal, cheat, falsely accuse, trick, seduce, hurt, destroy, anything to keep him from taking my rightful place. And ruining my good name down through the ages!

    What other secrets do you keep out of fear / insecurity?

    I want what he has – the love of the people, his woman, his family, his sons, his castle, his fortune and glory. He has stolen them all from me, the grubby little orphan – and I will get them all back!

    Compared to other people like you, what makes you special?

    I have more to risk, greater stakes than any before, 600 years of precedent if I win, or if I lose!

    Never has there been risk and stakes like this! I will not lose it all to an insignificant orphan.

    What do you think of?

    I think of Brian . . . his woman, his sons, his castle, his glory, the love of his people, his winning more and more of Ireland from the Danes, from the Traitors . . . he is defeating them all!!!!!

    Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story

    Everything was going according to tradition, The Ui Neills, the Kings of Muster, Leinster, Ulster finding common ground with the Danes, trading, so they took a few slaves, so what. The Danes were a good thing in a way, the warmongering tribes of Irish, fighting among each other in the face of the outside threat. And Ivar sacking Killaloe, and killing Cennetig, and all but two of his 12 sons. Eliminating the one threat to the Ui Neill domination. But then – they missed one!

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    February 1, 2023 at 6:46 pm in reply to: Lesson 3

    Connie Whitmer – Character Profiles Part 2

    I learned that although all below was in my head, writing it down, makes it more accessible, and immutable.

    Brian –

    What draws us to this character? Brian, 10, the last and least of 12 sons of Cennetig, though just a boy like any other, is anti-archetypical of King material.

    Traits: Somewhat, clumsy, always getting into fixes, beat up, sabotaged by his two pups, and horse, whatever he plans, goes south.

    Subtext: Although Brian has no hope or desire of ever being king of anything – and the brunt of his 11 brothers teasing and torment, and his experience “running their gauntlet of slaughter” These are the things that shaped him, differently than all the rest. He is the only one who cannot, will not ever, stand by, and watch the innocent, weak, and helpless tormented, or slaughtered.

    Flaw: His most enduring weakness all his life, which is his undoing in the end – his big heart values courage in the face of hopelessness, above all else. Even in his enemies

    Values: Has a big heart, always trying to save the dead pup, bird fallen out of the nest, befriends outcast little boy with club foot, and lost causes. He will never tether neither man nor beast, a vow is sacred. He keeps his no matter what.

    Irony: Yet there is something about him that, although strange, separates him from his 11 brothers. And all the other Princes of Ireland. He never wants to be king. Believes Ireland’s biggest problem is, there are too many kings.

    What makes this the right character for this role? He is the only one, who refuses to stand by, risks all, and accomplishes his impossible dream.

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    February 1, 2023 at 5:50 pm in reply to: Lesson 2

    30 Day Script ASSIGNMENT – 2

    Connie Whitmer- Character Profiles Part 1

    I learned that there needs to be one main Antagonist and as well developed as the Hero.

    ROLES:

    Protagonist –

    Brian, youngest of 12 sons of Cennetig, King of Clan Dal Cais

    Hero – from 10 years old on, Brian finds a way to defend the defenseless, against bullies and

    savagery

    Dreamer – Want – to find a way to go back to the way it was before the Danes attacked.

    Fighter – Need – vows to drive the murderers and enslaves of his people, back into the sea and

    drown them in their own blood.

    Antagonist 1.

    Malachy, son of High King, and heir to 600 years of unchallenged Kingship

    Villain – Brian’s greatest challenge, from childhood on, at every turn

    Change Agent – His treachery, and betrayal is responsible for Brian assuming greater.

    responsibility for keeping Ireland and her people safe from savagery.

    Authority – He is heir to High Kingship, never to be challenged, entitled from inheritance.

    Brian is to submit to him, in every possible way.

    Predator – He conspires and colludes, lies, cheats, steals, tricks, against Brian, as his jealousy

    and envy increase with the peoples love for Brian, insignificant orphan.

    Antagonist 2.

    Danish Vikings – Olaf, Ivar, Gofraid, descendants of Ragnar and Ivar the Boneless –

    ravaging Ireland

    Villains – Cruelty results in Brian’s traumatic wound, being helpless to save the ones he loves.

    Change Agents – result in his entire life spent defeating them, driving them from Ireland.

    Predators – They spend their lives trying to enslave his people, kill him and destroy Ireland.

    Antagonist 3.

    Gormlaith – daughter and Princess of King of Leinster, most powerful Irish King.

    Villain – Will challenge Brian Internal journey, as enemy, wife, mother of his son, Instigator of the great final battle for Ireland – and the last one standing.

    Supporting Characters:

    Finn – son of the pig-keeper, becomes Brian’s lifelong buddy, guardian, conscience.

    Leira – Brian’s first love, wife, mother of 5 children, dies young, he looks for her in the end.

    Maelsuthain – Brian’s Mentor, teacher, priest, there when he is a child, and crowns him Ard Ri

    Mahon – Brian’s only surviving brother becomes king of Clan upon Cennetig’s death.

    Murchuada – Gormlaith’s father, King of Leinster, her tormentor, shame, fear she will become.

    like him

    ROLE IN STORY:

    Brian: Hero, at first a child like any other, except youngest of 12 sons, never expected or wanted to be king of anything. Suddenly thrust into a savage world, alone, an insignificant orphan, except he is different than all the rest. He alone will stand up against the Danes, the colluding Irish Kings, and traitorous High King

    Age range and Description: As the story begins, Brian is 10 when the Danes attack. . Surviving the meat grinder of 11 older brothers – he is well suited to “run the gauntlet of slaughter!” Fearless, competitive, strong, smart, experienced in survival, as a boy, red hair, as a youth, taller, stronger, yet compassionate for anything bullied. And ready to fight all bullies, or berserkers, messy, unlikely King material. Just wants to go fishing.

    Internal Journey: From feeling, powerless, lost, alone, shamed he could not protect a little girl, bullied, no vision for future – to loss of innocence, surviving, witnessing evil, vowing to end it, making a friend, finding a way to escape a tower, Danes, and a destroyed life – to having a dream of fixing it all, hope for the future, his first whisker, and a plan – starting with finding the little girl from the burning tower.

    External Journey: From insignificant orphan to rescuer of captives and avenger of his family’s deaths – word spreads of the Drakkar-slayer. The boy who killed the Butcher of Killaloe.

    Motivation: Want – to drive the Danes from Ireland, restore peace and freedom. Need – restore the love, belonging, family, home that is missing in his life.

    Wound: Brian’s wound is being powerless to stop the savage rape of a little girl, he promised to keep safe. He vows he will never be made powerless again.

    Mission/Agenda: Brian’s mission is to avenge the murders of his family and people, Destroy all enemies of Ireland. AgendaIntrigue is the traitor Irish Kings and High King, colluding with the Danes. Brian realizes he must ride Ireland of all her enemies.

    Secret: Intrigue – always, traitor Irish, Provincial Kings and High King, colluding with Danes, for security and greed, who betray the common people.

    What makes them special? Brian accomplishes what no other ever has – a united Ireland, in freedom and peace for 12 years. He refuses to stand by, to surrender for peace or gold, he is a Christian King, unlike all the others, in name only who slaughter their enemies – Brian keeps letting his go. Sadly, and ironically they will get him in the end.

    Antagonist – Malachy –

    Role – Heir to the Throne of High King, had it all, given to him, 600-year precedent.

    Description – a couple of years younger than Brian, smaller, dark hair and eyes, rich, arrogant, envious of Brian, made insecure by his father, that Brain is more loved.

    Internal Journey – snotty little rich kid, entitled, to more and more envious of Brian, has not the courage to be loyal.

    External Journey – from heir to High King, to High King, losing it to Brian, then, lying, cheating, stealing, betraying him in the end to get it back.

    Motivation – betraying Brian at every step from childhood on, his father’s apt pupil. His weakness, jealously of everything Brian, wins, has, accomplished.

    Wound – His father, Leira, his men, the people, all love and admire him more. His father the High King, keeps goading him, that Brian will surpass him, and he will be the one to lose the High Kingship after 600 years.

    Mission – to become the greatest High King – Agenda – to lie, steal, and cheat, against Brian, destroying him in every possible way as a competitor.

    What makes him special: He had it all . . . but courage enough to be grateful, Honor enough to be loyal, love enough to be loved. His capacity to betray a friend, ally, all his life.

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    January 31, 2023 at 5:14 am in reply to: Lesson 1

    Connie Whitmer Transformational Journey For TV Series, and for Episode 1.

    What I learned – to think of the entire story, as well as each Episode, and Series, in Acts, building sequences, turning points, crisis and climax. Also, as one continuum, escalating in Conflict, Crisis, Dilemma, Decision, Climax, external accomplishment, and internal roller-coaster ride of: mental, emotional, psychological: triumph and tragedy, until achieving a kind of peace and understanding, and contentment in looking forward with hope . . . and never back with regret.

    Hero – Brian Boru, youngest of 12 sons of Irish Tribal King, Cennetig of the Clan Dal Cais

    External Journey – Series

    After his Clan is attacked and slaughtered; Brian transforms, from 10-year-old, insignificant orphan, to rebel, outlaw, warrior, chief of tribe, King of Munster, King of the South, High King of the North and South, Ard Ri, over a united Ireland, in Freedom and Peace. After his Clan is attacked, Brian must survive, defend, achieve freedom and peace, and restore the homeland and people he loves, by running the gauntlet of invading, Danes razing Ireland, conniving and colluding Provincial Irish Kings, the treachery and betrayal by the High King, culminating in the greatest battle in Irish history, defending against an invasion of Vikings, mercenaries, and berserkers.

    Internal Journey – Series

    Brian begins his journey as a little boy who just wants to catch the biggest fish, to brag to his brothers. The attack ends his innocence, destroys his family and home, renders him alone, makes him and insignificant orphan in a hostile, foreign world. He must come of age, fighting against authority, the only one refusing to acquiesce to the Danes, becoming rebellious, creating his own guerilla army, unsuccessfully, until he realizes the only way to drive the Danes from Ireland, is by Uniting the Class, Eliminating the traitor Kings, and the High King, the traitors and tyrants, and he is the only one willing to risk all to accomplish it. Fighting his entire life until he finds he yearns for peace, more than battle.

    External Journey – Episode 1 – The Attack

    Son of Tribal King – to insignificant orphan who has lost everything.

    When Brians Clan is attacked by Danes, and his family slaughtered, He must find a way to survive, try and save a little girl, by hiding in a tall round tower, Danes break in, savage her, set the tower aflame, Brian must find a way to save her, and make a last stand against the attackers, with his brother. From youngest son of a Tribal King of Thomond with family and Clan, and hill fort, to insignificant orphan – loss of everything he knows and loves, and hope for the future.

    Internal Journey – a Episode 1 – End of Innocence

    Brian goes from carefree child, who just wants to go fishing, to losing almost his entire family and Clan, shock, terror, disbelief, wanting to flee, to fight, to Jump! Trying to save a little girl, failing to keep her safe, being forced to watch her brutal rape, and the slaughter of his family, to making a last stand with brother, a life time wound of fear of being powerless to save the ones he loves, a flaw of admiring Courage wherever he finds it, and a lifetime vow of avenging the slaughter of his family, and driving the Danes back into the Sea to drown in their own blood!

    Episode 1:

    Old Ways

    · Just a boy who wants to catch the biggest fish, to brag to his older brothers

    · Innocent of any evil in the world

    · Unafraid of anything, incapable of being intimidated, or dissuaded

    · Safe with a loving family, 11 older brothers, and an entire Clan he is part of

    · His biggest test – running the gauntlet of slaughter – of being the youngest of 12 boys.

    New Ways

    · Just a boy who wants to survive, go back to the way it was before the Danes came

    · No longer innocent of the evil of the world, has seen it up close, the horror, the tragedy,

    · Vows he will never be powerless again, be made to stand by as those he loves are brutalized

    · He is no longer safe, the protection of his family, his Clan, his high fort, all gone

    · His gauntlet of slaughter is no longer his brothers, they are all dead but one – but a seething cauldron of cannibalistic vipers, all wanting the last son of Cennetig – dead

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    January 17, 2023 at 9:05 pm in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

    1. Connie Whitmer.

    2. I agree to the terms of this release form. 1/17/23

    · GROUP RELEASE FORM

    · As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

    · 1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

    · 2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted, and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

    · I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

    · 3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

    · 4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

    · 5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

    · 6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

    · This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    January 15, 2023 at 9:02 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

    Hello everyone,

    My name is Connie Whitmer. I have completed 1 script, but have taken just about all of Hal Classes, using the techniques to write a Book Series worthy of TV Series. Would like to write the Pilot/ Episode 1 ~ 2hr, Script.

    I once went on a 30 day Survival Trip, in the Southern Utah dessert. Nothing to eat but Yucca roots, lizards and snakes (very chewy and tasteless, except for a really nasty aftertaste). If you are ever stranded, and need someone to start a fire rubbing two sticks together, chip an arrow head, attach it with sinew (you find a maggot infested deer skeleton, dry the leg cartilage, beat it with a rock, then chew it for about a half an hour, until it is the consistency of masticated slug, then wrap it around the arrowhead and let it dry . . . I’m your guide!

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    September 11, 2022 at 2:04 am in reply to: Day 5 Assignments

    Connie Whitmer – Four Act Transformational Structure

    What I learned – Putting events in 4 Act structure, helped me with spacing, timing, and import of the events on the Hero’s ARC

    Concept – After Norse Vikings slaughter his family, a young orphan must find a way to survive, save some hostages, escape, and avenge the deaths of his family, and find a way home.

    Main Conflict – Invading Danes, have slaughtered his family, he must find away to: survive, escape a tower, being held hostage, rescue others, avenge his families, deaths, and make it home.

    Old Ways – young, innocent, only wants to catch the biggest fish and survive being the youngest of 12 brothers, no worries.

    New Ways – after attack and his family is slaughtered – he must grow up in a hurry, now he must fight for survival, with enemies all around, and save those around him. He will never stand by again

    Act 1:

    Opening – Brian has his fish by the tale, meets girl, survives running the gauntlet

    Malachy and his cronies, denigrate Brian, bully him, they have a secret

    Inciting Incident – Monster on beach, Danes attack, promises to save girl

    Malachy and cronies escape, with their fathers, as Danes attack.

    Turning Point – Escape to tower, little girl raped, fire, he saves her, tries to save family. Only Brian and eldest brother survive, home destroyed, sent off to school

    Act 2:

    New plan – locked in tower by Abbot, tormented by Malachy, plans escape, go home

    Plan in action – Hail Mary escape, piling on – hijacked by deer, attacked by stags,

    Malachy and cronies in school with Brian, torment him, and ruin his escape

    Midpoint Turning Point – captured by scheming Danes

    Act 3:

    Rethink everything – Held captive with others, trapped, Danes scheming

    plan disrupted, he is free

    New plan – Must escape, will save others, makes a plan, it must succeed.

    Turning Point: Huge failure

    He makes the escape – disrupted, he is free, but others still captive, Must chose – leave others, escape warn Clonmacnoise and Killaloe, or risk everything, go back and save the others. If he fails, all will die.

    Major shift – He gave his word to come back for them, he failed the little girl, this time he will not fail.

    Act 4:

    Climax -– Brian, 14, must fight the Danes alone. He kills two, then the leader shows up, Drakkar – the Butcher of Killaloe, murderer of his family. He kills him as well, stops the attacks.

    Ultimate expression of the conflict – insignificant orphan fulfills his Internal Need – to save the powerless, and keep his promise to dying father, to avenge his family’s deaths.

    And External Need – to never be powerless again, and he has a start of ridding Ireland of the three Danes that attacked his home.

    ARC – From insignificant orphan, to Hero of his Clan, 2<sup>nd</sup> to father’s throne – now known as the boy, Drakkar-slayer, he has saved Clonmacnoise where the Abbot torment him. And his brother, and what is left of his Clan, in Killaloe

    Resolution – Brian makes it home. Announces the Abbot has a message for his brother – He is not now, nor will ever be King Material. Brian agrees. He is home where he belongs. Then a messenger – in three years’ time, the Tourney of Princes will be held in Killaloe. Brian has what he needs – his first whisker, a plan, and hope for the future.

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    September 10, 2022 at 9:45 pm in reply to: Day 4 Assignments

    Tell me about yourself.

    LESSON 4 – Character Interviews

    What I learned – I really loved this. Very inciteful, to have the opposing points of view, and arguments together. Great for conjuring scenes.

    Connie Whitmer – Interview with my Hero and Antagonist

    Hero Brian :

    Tell me about yourself – I am the 12<sup>th</sup> and youngest son of Cenntig, son of Lorcan, son of Lachtna – of the ancient tribe Dal Cass. Though I will never be King of anything, I will take my place in the Clan, and protect her against all enemies. Make my life here with my family.

    Why do you think you were called to this journey? Why you? – I don’t know, why God saved me, and all my brothers and parents were killed. But I will never stop hunting the Danes, never surrender, never give up. While I breathe, I will never stand by, like all the others.

    You are up against – traitor Irish Kings, marauding Danes, scheming Clergy, a treacherous High King.

    What is it about them that makes this journey even more difficult for you? – They are supposed to love and care, and protect the people of Ireland, all the Clans, against all invaders. Instead they have betrayed us all. And because they have the power, the armies, the treasure, no one can stop them. No one will stand against them!

    In order to survive or accomplish this, you are going to have to step way outside of your box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them will be the most difficult?

    – I will have to leave my only brother left, as he has caved to the Danes as well.

    – Go live in the wilds, try to form a guerilla army, to harry the Danes, to strike at them, when they least expect it, hide, go hungry, give over our lives, to fight against them.

    What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let go of?

    – That we all must stand together – unite the Clanns, fight for peace, and probably die. We must chose death over surrender, or quitting, or standing by.

    What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back?

    – I never expected to go against my only brother, to leave home, to be in exile, an outlaw, hunted, and scourged

    What skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this conflict or antagonist?

    – Being the youngest of 12, a rowdy bunch of hooligans, running the gauntlet of slaughter every day. But I will find another band of brothers . . . of hungry warriors, who will not stand by either. An oath we will take – to fight the Danes and drive them out of Ireland – or die trying.

    What are you hiding from the other characters? What don’t you want them to know?

    – How much I want to go back to the day the Danes came, and change everything, save the little girl her torment, fight next to my parents, save them all, kill all the bastards – every one

    What do you think of ?

    – Of finding her, begging forgiveness, proving to her that her scars mean nothing to me, except my shame and sorrow, loving her, watching over her, and making a life together.

    Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story. .

    And that although I carried the little girl from the tower – she is the one who sacrificed herself to save me. I am responsible for her torment. I gave her my word, I would keep her safe, and I failed, I lied to her. I saw it all, yet I could not move to help her.

    What does it do for your life is you succeed here?

    Give me the peace, joy, and that I have not had since that day. I mean to keep my promise – to watch over her and keep her safe.

    Antagonist – Malachy II

    Tell me about yourself.

    – I am the son of the High King, heir to the throne of 600 years of Ui Neill High Kings. It is my place by right. And I will have it. And destroy anyone who comes after it

    Why do you think you were called to this journey? Why you?

    – I cannot be the one to lose the High Kingship, How could I possibly be the only one to lose it. My name would live in infamy.

    You are up against

    – the only one I fear is the insignificant orphan – from the dead Clan – Brian of Beal Boru. He threatens my seat, my rule, my dynasty.

    What is it about them that makes this journey even more difficult for you?

    He is nothing, yet the people love him, he keeps getting more and more loyal to him, defeating the Danes, which is impossible. He cares nothing about wealth, status, Kingship, title.

    In order to survive or accomplish this, you are going to have to step way outside of your box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them will be the most difficult?

    – He keeps vowing loyaly to me, and keeps his word, and helps the people, he wants no fame or fortune for himself. The people love him for it. I will have to attack, and kill him, who has always been loyal to me. It’s the only way.

    What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let go of?

    – I am the High King – everyone subjects themselves to me! Even Brian – yet I have to go kill him. It’s the only way. I am supposed to be Christian king. He will never stop..

    What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back?

    – Always my father the High King, is there at my back, telling me how pitiful I am, what a loser, how Brian will go right by me to the throne, he will take it from me and the Ui Neill, and I will be the one to give it to him, because I am weak!

    What skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this conflict or antagonist?

    I come from a long line of Kings, who did whatever they had to do to keep in power. I know all the ways to accomplish it, to lie, cheat, steal, falsely accused, bribe the judges, referees, the clergy, all will submit to power for gold.

    What are you hiding from the other characters? What don’t you want them to know

    – All I want is what Brian has, love of the people, his warriors, his woman, his children

    What do you think of ? ,

    – I am sick with envy, he is the stuff of my night-terrors! I dream of ways to betray and kill him and bury him deep.

    Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story. .

    – Everytime I turn around he has bested me. Made me look foolish, lazy, weak, cruel. Am I not a good Christian King, support the church, feed my army, give alm to the poor, get along with the Danes, to keep peace. While he taxes all who come against him, and gives it all to the poor!

    What does it do for your life is you succeed here?

    I must rid the land of him, before he is King of everything. Before all flock to his banner, cheer his name, I must destroy him . . . and not be hated. How cruel fate is – To win the people, the treasure, the Dane favor, I must slaughter the One who they love must of all – and soon.

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    September 10, 2022 at 8:38 pm in reply to: Day 3 Assignments

    Connie Whitmer – Lesson 3 Character Profiles part 2

    What I learned : There must be things to draw you to the Antagonist, an admiration of sorts. You must be mesmerized, by him, intrigued. And then he must be most heinous at the same time, so you feel a catharsis, when the Hero defeats him, and justly so. Otherwise, he is reduced to the one dimensional “White Walkers” , “Zombies”, who must depend on numbers alone. And as in fantasy – unkillable.

    What draws us to this character? Brian is young, the last and least of the sons of one of the 150 tribal kings. He should never have become king of anything, but instead, forgotten down through the ages. He is the brunt of his brother’s teasing, constantly picked on, yet never feels sorry for himself, never surrenders. He is happy, content, in his insignificance.

    Traits: Fearless, willing, protective, hates bullies,

    Subtext: Hides his shame and guilt for being unable to save the little girl from a brutal rape.

    Flaw:: Admires selfless courage wherever he finds it, even in his enemies, He will tether neither man nor beast.

    Values: A fair fight, a worthy goal, an underdog, honor, truth – hates, bullies, liars, traitors

    Irony: He doesn’t really look for fights – they look for him.

    What makes this the right character for this role? There is no self – pity, quit, surrender, judgement, control freak, me too, in him.

    Antagonist – Malachy II

    What draws us to this character? His father twists him, and because he is weak, he lets him, but this also makes him empathetic on some level. He has been given much, but the pressure to keep it is almost unbearable – sins of the Father weigh on him.

    Traits: Scheming, manipulative, sneaky, could have been great but weak, emotionally, and character wise.

    Subtext: Hiding his deep-seeded jealousy of Brian, the loyalty of his friends, the love of his Clan,

    Flaw: Jealousy, willing to cheat, lie, steal, bribe, use, drinks too much, uses sex for release

    Values: His position of superiority, as son of High King – King by right.

    Irony: He could have been great. But had not the courage, honor, or character.

    What makes this the right character for this role? He has gifts, power, strength, looks, but no honor, courage to do what it right.

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    September 10, 2022 at 7:56 pm in reply to: Day 2 Assignments

    LESSON 2 – WHO ARE WE TRAVELING WITH?

    Connie Whitmer – Character Profiles Part 1

    What I learned – that it is best to define Characters, roles, antagonism before you start writing, so that you can design them having most effect along MC arc.

    Brian Boru –

    Protagonist Role : Hero – insignificant orphan, youngest of 12 brothers, just a boy like any other, just wants to catch the biggest fish, represents the innocent, joyful, child, with hopes and dreams. And then the nightmare comes, and that world is destroyed.

    Age range and Description : 10 years old, as the youngest of 12, he grows up tough, fearless, competitive, athletic. Stubborn, willful, and always come up with a plan.

    Internal Journey: Begins with secure happy, loving, nurturing, family and Clan, no stress, guilt, or regrets. After Dane attack and family slaughtered, he has only his eldest brother left, Ring fort is destroyed. There is nothing left of his old life, or hope for future, alone, saddened, lost. He will reclaim them all.

    External Journey: Beginning of Transformational journey, after of period of being lost and alone – he goes home to start over. Vowing to avenge his family’s deaths.

    Motivation / Agenda: He wants to drive the Danes out of Ireland, He needs to never be made to stand by, powerless to protect those he loves. And make Restitution.

    Wound: After he promises to keep a little girl safe, and fails, she is brutally raped, burned, with scars inside and out. He feels, shame, guilt, sadness. He vows to find her, heal her wounds, love her and watch over her all his life.

    Mission / Agenda: and to drive the Danes back into the sea to drown in their own blood. One day, he will restore Erin to the way it was before the Danes came.

    Secret : After the attack Brian is tormented by something, but he will not tell what it is, too horrible to speak out loud, to tell, until the end . . . He did carry the little girl out of the burning tower, so people give him credit for saving her. Which torments him worse.

    In the climax he finally confesses, after he successfully hid her, and told them she jumped to her death, when the Danes are beating him nearly to death. She comes out of hiding so they will stop beating him. She saves him, by sacrificing herself.

    Special: As observed by his teacher and priest; he is a strange child, not at all like all his

    rapscallion brothers. Rushes headlong into danger, interested in the ancient ones and

    their stories, looks back with admiration, to the future with expectation, devoted to

    dogs and horses, defender of the powerless, with a deep-seeded hatred for bullies.

    Antagonist – Malachy II

    Role in story: Villain, competitor, tormenter, change agent, son of the High King, and the next in line to the be the most powerful King in Ireland, dictated by 600 years of uninterrupted Ui Neill dynastic power.

    Age and Description: a couple of years younger than Brian. He has natural attributes, but lacks the moral compass, empathy, and honor.

    Internal Journey : Malachy’s Father, the High King, senses his weaknesses, and is always comparing him to Brian, and how he is fearless,, beloved by people, followed, instills jealousy and hate into him. Brian must never be allowed to thrive.

    External Journey – His father and ancestors, High Kings by tradition, fail their people and homeland, by selling out to the Danes. They let the Danes savage, raid, and enslave the people.

    Motivation : To become the next High King, by right, and to make sure Brian never gets close to power.

    Wound: His father is ashamed of him. And the little girl choses Brian over him. He lives in fear that he will lose the Ui Neill High Kingship.

    Mission/Agenda: To keep Brian from exceeding him.

    Secret: His jealousy, insecurities, and appetites for sex, alcohol, cheating, and plan to sabotage Brian every step of the way.

    Special: Exceedingly successful, snake in the grass, scheming, manipulating, paying off, getting into bed with traitors, and tyrants.

    Supporting roles:

    Gofraid, Ivar, Olaf, Dane Viking raiders. The other end of the spectrum, Psychopaths

    Murchuada – the father of Gormlaith – the puppet master.

    Maelmorda – his young son, flawed, physically, mentally, emotionally, weak, gluttonous, pathetic.

    Maelsuthain – Father, Mentor, Brian’s inspiration, connection to past, understands him, wonder’s if he might be the One.

    Gormlaith – love interest competition, villainess, chess master,

    Pick your genre : Action, Drama

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    September 9, 2022 at 9:24 pm in reply to: Day 1 Assignments

    Subject line: (Connie Whitmer) Transformational Journey

    My project is a Series of 6 Books, using Screenwriting techniques – then perhaps a TV Series Braveheart of Ireland meets The Last Kingdom. Submissions for this class are for Book 1, and first two Episodes – the beginning of the Arc.

    What I learned:

    To elicit maximum emotion, inspiration, and satisfaction for a story well told –

    I must look at my character’s arc at the beginning of his life and end of the story/ Book/ Episode/ Series; and make them as opposite and unlikely as possible, internally, externally and socially. Then establish Book and Series goals – first worthy, then; impossible, in desperation, mistaken, horrendous, the right goal, and finally hope and a plan for the future. And to show growth, with increasing: conflict, crucible, disaster, dilemma, crisis, decision, action, moment of realization and understanding, that forge the transformation – each to the physical, mental, emotional, psychological, limits.

    My Hero starts as a boy, like any other of 10, the 12<sup>th</sup> and youngest son of one of the 150 Tribal Chieftains of Ireland. Then a Dane attack, his family and Clan are slaughtered, Rath burned. Only he and his oldest brother survive.

    Internal Journey – From innocence, simplistic, hopeful goals, of catching the biggest fish, having a story to tell around the fire, and being a big shot to his 12 older brothers, pride of his mother and father – to loss of innocence, seen pure evil, with no hope or understanding for future, coming of age in a savage world, alone – then last page, he finds what he could not before – hope, his first whisker, and a plan.

    External Journey – From youngest of 12 sons, of one of the 150 tribal Kings of Ireland, who should have remained forgotten – after an attack by Norse, his family slaughtered, all but oldest brother – becomes, insignificant orphan, 2<sup>nd</sup> in line to his Chieftain Father’s Throne, then after killing the three Danes that killed his family, he is thenceforth known as Drakkar- Slayer, the boy who killed the Butcher of Killaloe. And then Chief of Clan, Rebel, Outlaw, Warrior, King of Munster, King of the South, King of North and South, and finally High King. (true story)

    Old ways:

    Just focused on catching the biggest fish, no girls, dreams of fighting alongside his ancient heroes, Spartacus, Alaric, Vercingetorix, needs and wants only his dogs, and a couple of nightcrawlers, and a story to tell around the campfires of his family. As the youngest of 12, he will never be king or responsible for anything, and plans on, fishing, racing horses, playing hurley, and surviving his brothers, the rest of his life, living out his life in the Rath with his Clan. He is full of joy, excitement, and hope for the future.

    New ways:

    After the attack, he has witnessed unspeakable things and slaughter, he vows to never be powerless again to save the ones he loves, avenge his family, and drive the Danes back into the sea, and drown them in their own blood; find the little girl, he tried to save from brutal rape, and burns, and could not, heal her wounds and heart, and watch over her, and fight the Danes till he dies. Full of sadness, guilt and regret – If only he could go back to the day, before the Danes came – he would give the rest of his life for it. He must leave, alone, everything he ever loved in is ashes, or in the ground.

    And so it begins . . . The true story of an orphaned boy – who would, one day, be the only High King, over a united Ireland in peace, for 12 years.

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    April 19, 2022 at 5:52 pm in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

    Connie Whitmer

    I agree to the terms of this release form:

    As a member of this group, I agree to the following

    1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

    2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

    I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

    3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

    4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

    5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

    6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

    This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

    0

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    April 12, 2022 at 2:48 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

    Hi everyone. I’m Connie Whitmer from the beautiful farm country in upstate NY. I have completed one script. I’m working on a book series, to be irresistibly suitable for a TV series. I have taken all of Hal’s courses, but Horror, and loved them. Everything that makes a great film, makes a great story, and any novel better. Over the years I have seen the writing world start to use more and more screenwriting techniques. Hal’s are the best. Besides writing, my passion is competing in extreme obstacle courses with my amazing, and absolutely fearless horse, that will do anything for me. Currently we are perfecting shooting a bow and arrow at targets, while at a gallop.

    Good luck with your projects.

  • Connie Whitmer

    Member
    January 17, 2023 at 8:53 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

    Hi Mary. I don’t know if you are asking me? I have seen it done, with TV Series. 2 hours, Episode 1 and 2 together. I can’t remember which ones. Cheryl or Hal will probably know. Basically, it is the first two Episodes. I’m doing this class, this way because a regular Script is 2 hours. But the Episode – 1, 1hr, climax will be in the Mid-Point, of my 2 hr Script for this class. If the Series ever gets made, it will probably be divided. Hal has a great Binge Worthy TV Series Class which I sighed up for but didn’t get a chance to follow through – will be using those techniques, as well, for this class. Hal’s Classes are great because you can save them and use them when you do have time. I have taken 13 and used all his techniques for my Book Series.

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