Connie Hood
Forum Replies Created
-
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD, MIDDAY JULY
Clifford and Clara walk. Clara in a dress for a date, strappy new shoes. Clifford in khakis, leather jacket. The Lincoln-Page sits on a side road to a stone farmhouse.
CLIFFORD
Well, here we are.
CLARA
Where?
CLIFFORD
Clara, meet Zelda. You two are going to be good friends.
(he pats to side of the airplane)
CLARA
Oh, no, no, no…
I’m never going near that.
CLIFFORD
You ever driven a tractor?
CLARA
I’ve been mowing hay since I was ten, and this has nothing to do with mowing things.
CLIFFORD
It’s exactly the same except this mower goes up and down.
CLARA
That’s the part that’s just plain wrong.
Clifford takes her hand, leads her to the side of the plane.
CRUNCH, CLANK, GRIND
Clifford at the side of the plane, begins to crank the propellor.
WHIRR, ROAR
Propellor starts to spin, blows dust everywhere.
CLIFFORD
Here, just jump in.
CLARA
I don’t jump.
CLIFFORD
Sure you do. And you’re gonna need these.
He hands her the goggles and a leather helmet. Clara stares at him, overwhelmed, far from any place where she can scream. Takes the goggles. He buckles her helmet.
CLIFFORD
There ya go!
He gives Clara a hand, and she climbs into the passenger seat.
WHOOSH, ROAR
Wind and dust blow everywhere. He jumps in and takes the throttle. She gasps, but the plane is moving slowly.
CLIFFORD
So, here’s the fuel gauge – we’ve got enough to fly all day.
Clara inspects the dial.
CLARA
What does this one measure?
CLIFFORD
How fast we are traveling. And this one is the altimeter, it tells us how high we are going. We can travel to the stars if we want.
Clifford taxis the plane to the main road, picks up speed and takes off. Clara gasps. They fly over the farms and fields, over the lake, and a stand of trees.
CLARA
My goodness, look at those trees down there. I can’t believe we are up here.
CLIFFORD
Oh, and here’s the compass, or we’ll never get back. Can you find North on it? We need to go South/Southeast, 15 degrees about 30 miles. You ever read a compass?
CLARA
No.
She begins to study the dial.
CLARA
But I guess I need to learn.
Clifford grins.
CLARA
Ohh, it’s so beautiful up here … look at the little trees!
CLIFFORD
Yep, a sky full of stars and clouds. Some days you can even fly above the clouds.
CLARA
I don’t think so.
CLIFFORD
…dreamy ideas happen up here. You’ll see.
He banks the plane and they head back to the country road.
BARNSTORMERS IIB
Clifford and Clara go out to the country road, holding hands. She is wearing a new pair of trousers and comfortable shoes. He carries the picnic basket.
They reach the plane, he grabs the goggles and helmets. Hands her a set.
CLIFFORD
Here, help me turn that crank – and don’t walk in front of the propellor! Pull it, fast, harder! There ya’ go.
CLARA
What are you doing?
CLIFFORD
Thought you’d like to fly Zelda this morning.
CLARA
I can’t do that!
CLIFFORD
Why not?
CLARA
Because I’ve never done it before.
CLIFFORD
How do you think the rest of us have learned? Like we were born midair or something? Mommy dropped us from the stork nest?
CLARA
I don’t even drive a car.
Clifford jumps into the passenger seat. Clara is shocked.
CLARA
So how are you going to fly Zelda?
CLIFFORD
I’m not. You are.
CLARA
You’re mad!
CLIFFORD
Here, pull that throttle out, very gently.
The plane starts to move forward.
CLIFFORD
And turn it, just like the wheel on your tractor, right out onto the road.
Plane heads onto road, Clifford looks out for vehicles, horses, and wagons.
CLIFFORD
And pull it as hard as you can!
Propellor roars and the plane moves quickly.
CLIFFORD
Now pull up on the yoke – like about 15-20 degrees. It doesn’t take much – keep the angle steady – unless of course you see a mountain in the way.
Terrain is completely flat. Clifford smiles at her. Clara’s knuckles are white, but she knows she must move forward. Clifford has the compass and suggests directions, degrees of a couple turns, then bring her back toward descent on the road.
Plane comes to a stop, and he jumps out, helps her down. She’s shaking, unsure whether she’s angry or thrilled. He kisses her.
-
Lesson 16: OUTLINE OF ACTIONS – CONNIE HOOD
This is not an “action movie” but it does have action in some of the dramatic scenes. I’m a historical fiction writer – use real people in creative stories.
BARNSTORMERS
LOGLINE: An unlikely group of real people mix their fortunes in the world of 1920s aviation, bootlegging, and a circus in town.
ACT I
OPEN FIELD – MORNING
CLIFFORD flies in to meet MITCHELL, his handler/boss for a new government agency, the FBI. Clips the stone wall, and crash lands the plane. Walks toward a Michigan farmhouse.
BACK ROOM OF BANK, 1931
CLARA MITCHELL works at the bank as a calculator, processing deposits into error free records. Also manages the women’s side of the bank, where females can have accounts.
EXTERIOR, 1930s TOWN, EARLY MORNING
The CIRCUS PARADE comes through. Whole town turns out.
EXTERIOR, CONT.
A Cadillac roadster, V16 or similar, is parked off to one side. CLARA meets JOHNNY, a 14-year-old boy admiring the roadster. Grubby little kid. He claims to be a trapeze performer.
BANK, WOMEN’S SIDE TELLER CAGES
CLARA cashes paychecks for “the gals.” The women are fully dressed, a bit garish, homemade? They invite her to the show.
BANK, BACK ROOM
A male teller comes to the back room to brag about his new client at the bank. “You should see his Cadillac!”
TOWNHOUSE
CLARA dinner with father MITCHELL is an IRS (Federal) revenue auditor (Prohibition) located in GRAND RAPIDS. He is investigating the flow of booze from Windsor, ONT to Detroit, MI. She is curious about the flow of cash from the circus.
CIRCUS TENT, RINGS
CLARA attends circus with family. She laughs at BORKO. “I like the clowns best.”
CIRCUS TENTS, LATE EVENING
Performers and riggers backstage, sharing bottles of homemade rakia and slivovitz. Polyglot of Slavic and Balkan language. Jokes physical and verbal.
JOHNNY mimics BORKO, who is absent. They don’t like him.
BANK, MORNING
BORKO asks to see the bank president regarding investments. Wants to buy a sizeable farm near the river. Detroit is a bootlegging hub. Bootleggers bring in Canadian whiskey, English gin.
BANK, LATER MORNING
Two GALS show up at bank. Heavy Eastern European accents – Sasha, Milena. CLARA offers to show them “around town.” GALS suggest they go dancing.
CIRCUS BACKSTAGE DRESSING ROOMS
CLARA shows up in a plain navy dress, lace collar. The GALS pull down a collection of slinky, fringed dresses. She finds one that fits. They pull up her hair, put on a headband/fascinator.
SPEAKEASY
GALS order cocktails. Men hover around.
CLIFFORD asks CLARA to dance. No talking. Just look into each other’s eyes, then separate.
ACT II A – RISING ACTION
There is an airshow outside of town. CLARA attends with the GALS and Johnny. The aerobatics show is seen as direct competition of the circus.
AIRFIELD – JULY 4 MIDDAY
CLIFFORD pilots the Lincoln Page open cockpit biplane. His brother LEO walks the wings. Struggles to get back into cockpit due to force of propellor blowback. Nearly blown off. CROWD goes wild.
JOHNNY and others talk about flying. CLARA is terrified of heights. “How is that possible?”
“Just breathe, look around you… don’t let go. Don’t ever look down.”
After the aerobatic routine, CLIFFORD spots CLARA in the crowd with the circus people. Canvas jacket, goggles up, filthy face covered with grit from engine draft.
AMBASSADOR BRIDGE – JULY 4 MIDDAY
BORKO drives across the Canadian border to pick up a load of Canadian whiskey and English gin. Meets with Purple Gang handlers.
BANK
BORKO brings another very large bag of cash into the bank.
BANK TELLER talking about cars. BORKO invites him out to dinner, says he knows a way for the BANK TELLER to get a nice car.
RESTAURANT – Purple Gang private club possible purple drapes etc. in the décor?
BORKO and BANK TELLER. Both have been drinking a lot of Canadian whiskey. BORKO speaks Italian with the proprietors. (his handlers)
BANK TELLER doesn’t want to join their transportation company ( bootlegging )operation.
RIVERFRONT WAREHOUSE –LATE THAT NIGHT
BORKO persuades banker to accept a car (hot, repainted, switched license plates) to help with “transportation.” Two Purple Gang operatives participate.
BANK, NEXT MORNING
CLIFFORD enters bank, asks to see CLARA. “Our calculators don’t consort with male clients.
Writes her a note, invites her to dinner, French restaurant. She accepts.
BANK OFFICES
Bank president reported the big deposit to Mitchell and BORKO’s request to buy an isolated run-down farm for too much money.
CIRCUS TRAIN CAR
BORKO also decides to court the pretty local. Maybe she’d be a good farmwife for him. She’s fun, dances, and loved his act. She works at the bank and is very smart, honest. Great cover for him. She declines his invitation. Smart but stuck-up.
He invites her to his train car with the GALS. Several knives on wall. He demonstrates knife throwing act that he used to do, tosses perfect outline of a person into the board. Maybe you would like to volunteer one night? The GALS laugh nervously. BORKO then tosses into the “Wheel of Death.” Once again an error free outline.
DETROIT HOTEL
CLIFFORD AND MITCHELL discuss their work, the messy implementation of prohibition. Issues of moral ambiguity, chasing moles in police and judiciary, people on the take. Mitchell’s daughter, Clara and her role as an informer. Mitchell has contacted IRS in Washington, concerned about Clara’s involvement.
CLIFFORD:
“You mean you want me to follow some Balkan circus around when we have millions of Americans we can arrest for booze? Pour me another.”
“My daughter is involved in the investigation. I wish she weren’t but she spotted the funny numbers and she won’t quit.”
II.B – RISE TO CLIMAX
OUTSIDE, NEAR FARMS – MIDDAY
Clifford takes Clara up in the airplane, against her better judgement. They have a great time.
BANK, FRIDAY THAT WEEK
Robbery in progress. The teller/manager confronts them. They want to know who spilled the beans about the irregular money. Kidnap him. He protests that it must have been one of the calculators, mentions Clara. “Her reports are always perfect. She’s perfect.” Clara and the other women have left out the back, into a stand of maple trees.
CIRCUS GROUNDS
Strangers showing up in worker uniforms, local cops and Feds.
GRAND RAPIDS FARMHOUSE
MITCHELL, IRS meeting with FBI, CLIFFORD and others. MITCHELL thinks things are “coming to a head” in Detroit. Suggests they get on a train.
CLIFFORD:
Let’s take my plane. CLIFFORD misses the rendezvous; the propellor falls off. He has to fly, land, find the propellor, and reattach it. Very late for meeting.
CIRCUS TENT
BORKO invites GALS for a meeting, but CLARA is the only guest. His intent is to propose to her – plenty of money, no need to work, “just see that my farm is kept nice. I love it here.”
CLARA declines.
OUTSIDE, NEAR FARMS – MIDDAY
CLIFFORD teaches CLARA how to fly the airplane. “Take it up, fly straight, put it down.” She’s very agitated, but succeeds. He kisses her.
DETROIT RIVER
LOCAL POLICE find a body in the Detroit river. The warehouse is visible. CLIFFORD uses dental records to identify the BANK TELLER. Also notes that the rope used to bind the victim is similar to the rope used on circus tents.
“I’d rather smell a dead guy than garlic on some Eyetalian’s breath.”
CIRCUS TENT
CLARA hears yipping coming from the Bigtop. Steps inside to help the animal. It is trapped on the high wire platform, and if it falls it will be certain death. BORKO steps out.
She wants to go get help – feels a knife at her back.
“You have to go up … now!”
“Now, walk across!”
JOHNNY also heard the barking. Enters the tent as she is walking, terrified. He spots her. Just look forward one step at a time.
She picks up the dog and faces the ladder again.
BORKO takes the dog from her. When she descends, BORKO hands her the dog, limp and silent, broken neck.
CIRCUS TENT, EXT.
CLIFFORD shows up late that night. CLARA not at circus. JOHNNY talks to him. CLIFFORD plans an FBI raid on the circus – liquor transports and tax evasion.
ACT III
DETROIT HOTEL
CLIFFORD AND MITCHELL How can we tell law enforcement from criminals? What line will you/will you not cross? What if a law is impractical, wrong?
CIRCUS TENT, MORNING REHEARSAL
JOHNNY seriously injured when he falls from the trapeze. Somehow the equipment rigging is off balance. The company is deeply upset. BORKO – Hey, I’m a clown. At least I don’t swing from ropes. That’s dangerous.
CIRCUS EXTERIOR
BORKO asked CLIFFORD to meet. “Maybe we should put your aerobatic show with our show? An entertainment monopoly – the greatest show. “
BORKO suspects CLIFFORD is a possible FED, but he’s dealt with that before. He tries to bribe CLIFFORD.
GALS circle around CLARA. They know BORKO plans to kill her.
BORKO also owns all of them. Without the circus, they will be trafficked, illegal Balkan immigrants, no papers. U.S. quota on Slavs is filled.
CLARA shocked to see CLIFFORD confront BORKO. CLIFFORD is armed.
BORKO pulls a knife on CLIFFORD. CLIFFORD not afraid of BORKO or his knives. CLIFFORD has butchered hogs, and opened up corpses in medical school. Cuts BORKO across wrist and shoulder. BORKO charges after him.
ROAD
CLIFFORD and CLARA in Model T (35-40 MPH top speed).
BORKO in Cadillac Roadster (60-80 MPH top speed) He drives with one hand, shoulder and wrist bleeding. CLIFFORD and CLARA appear and disappear, overland, side roads, creek bed. Roadster can’t maneuver in tight spaces. Very fast on roads.
FIELD
Clifford’s plane sits in the middle of the field. CLIFFORD runs to start the propellor (crank) and CLARA puts on her helmet, checks gauges. As she begins to taxi, BORKO grabs the wing and hoists himself up. CLIFFORD climbs out of cockpit, BORKO on wing, ready to attack, moves from strut to strut. Wind in BORKO’S eyes, CLIFFORD is goggled. BORKO catches his foot in the rope used for the aerobatics. Trips, slips off the wing, hanging by the foot/waist. CLIFFORD climbs into cockpit.
CLARA tips wings back and forth (turning yoke), sets plane down in park in front of City Hall. BORKO bounces, injured, taken into custody.
HOSPITAL
BORKO in full body cast, chained to the iron hospital bed.
Clifford and Clara were married for 71 years. After Clifford’s death, the GALS Sasha and Milena gather at the old house. (the real house is on National Register) Clara’s sons have left strict instructions for tea with little sandwiches. They leave to watch a football game.
“Would you girls like a cocktail? I know where they keep it.”
-
Connie Hood: Lesson 14
After discussion of the action scene I’d written, I decided to cut a violent action and replace it with tension that will build the larger conflicts. The relationships are tested, the supporting character (bank teller) undergoes a big change (abetting multiple crimes.) Intrigue will be built for the main character. The danger is now imminent for the supporting character and the main character. As a reader, viewer I strongly prefer more plot, less violence. Too often I turn off excessive gunplay “They don’t know how to end their story, do they?”
BANK TELLER (Scene 2A, rising action)
INT. BANK
Borko’s third big cash deposit. Teller is a friendly, helpful “Joe.”
Deposit 1 – Bank teller/ manager went to the back to brag to the calculators. (women)
Deposit 2 – Bank teller chats with Borko – about circus revenues, wow – had no idea circuses brought in that kind of money –
Borko: OF course we make our big money from the concessions – not the .25 tickets. How is the accounting done?
Teller: There’s pretty girls in the back, calculators. We men handle the big accounts, the businesses. Blabbing about big farms… some beauties near the river.
Deposit 3 – Teller greets Borko – comments on the roadster – love to have a car some day
Borko offers to “introduce him to people”. It’s possible to buy a car “on time.”
Teller drops third deposit in office, and brags that he is going to have dinner with the big new client.
INT. BLIND PIG
Blind Pig
B. picks up T. in Roadster. They visit a “Blind Pig” “a private club” near the river. Oh no, it’s not illegal to drink liquor – just to sell it. Free dinner, wine.
Purple Gang “ businessmen” in place. Izzy, Joe – the Fleischer brothers (butcher)
Conversation about cars –Chevy, Ford – Cadillac – all local, we make them here. Or Packard – Made in Indiana but “ we’ve got connections”
Borko suggests that the teller might want to work with him in his “transportation business.”
“Oh no – I enjoy a drink, but if I started selling ….
Everyone in town knows me because I work at the bank…all the important clients.
Married? No.
INT. RIVER WAREHOUSE
After dinner Borko invites him to “come look at some cars” takes him down to a warehouse at the river. There are a couple cars, Model T, something used, affordable. (Deception, trap) One of the cars is shot up, another has the hood open. Tools out everywhere.
Two young boys (12-13) are cleaning up the cars – their late night job is cleaning up the circus –
“So you’re confirmed bachelor but…
Boys come over to the bank teller. So mister, we can help you pick out a car…
(The cars are hot. Kids are changing license plates.)
Borko has compromised the banker – illicit dealings. He owns the banker. The Purple Gang owns him.
INT BANK
Clara is suspicious about this size of these cash deposits. Her dad is a tax auditor. The teller’s books are off, how did dinner with Borko go? Knowingly sets herself up for risk.
-
This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by Connie Hood.
-
This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by
-
Connie Hood – Lesson #13
What I learned were many ways to open up my story. The essential question is: How are we going to do this? The key was to research and confirm several details.
No one goes near the Detroit river these days (1920-33) due to constant shootouts between gangsters and customs agents. However, on the July 4 holiday families are out with picnics. Off duty agents/cops are armed.
On the Michigan side people enjoy an aerobatics show that goes somewhat wrong – nearly tragic. Clifford and his brother rehearsed their stunt – on a still wing. Wind from the propellor nearly knocks Leo off. Clara is horrified. Johnny foreshadows the tightrope event with light conversation about how he learned trapeze.
Borko, my clown/circus impresario makes a July 4th rum run between Michigan and Ontario. He makes contact with his Ontario handlers, the Purple Gang. The Canadian Club is very real and extremely dangerous.
The overall tone of the juxtaposing scenes is threat and loss. Unique actions, settings and equipment in the air show and the rum run make survival interesting.
-
LESSON 12 – Danger, Excitement, Adrenaline
My screenplay is mostly adventure but I’m using some action scenes. The film will close with the heroes pursuing the villain and vice versa. I’m using a combination of real equipment (Model T, Lincoln Page biplane) owned by the actual Clifford as well as the villain’s car. The plane engine failure is also true – well documented in newspaper articles.
CAPTURE AND RELEASE
Clifford has uncovered the Purple Gang and Borko’s involvement in their bootlegging/money laundering operation.
DANGER: Clifford has said no to a partnership and Borko is now fully expose. Borko suggested that he and Clifford partner up, share the proceeds. Now Borko is evading capture, and is intent on killing Clifford and Clara.
Both men are armed and both have confederates. Clara is backing up Clifford, and knows how to handle a hunting rifle.
EXCITEMENT: Borko runs for his roadster (possible 1930 Cadillac V16 or similar. Serious horsepower, can go up to 80 MPH. Clifford and Clara pursue in his Model T, top speed about 40 MPH. However, the Model T can drive overland. Borko loses sight of his pursuers. Speeds along a country road until he spots Clifford, who cut through fields. Borko now pursues Clifford who knows the terrain well.
Clifford arrives at his plane in the field, and he and Clara jump into the cockpit, start the propellor. Borko runs, and jumps onto the wing of the biplane, attempts to shoot his way into the cockpit, but the plane is moving. (Dizzy) Borko also is snagged in the ropes that Clifford uses for his aerobatics show.
ADRENALINE: The carburetor (supercharger) on the plane blows up. Black oil and fuel cover the windshield. Clifford opens the cockpit to see ahead, has to tip the plane because he is leaning out of cockpit. They are also exposed with no windshield but Borko can’t hold on and shoot. The oil hits the wing where Borko stands, causing him to slip back and forth while gripping the struts. Clifford, Clara, and Borko all covered in fuel and dirt from the blown carburetor.
Clara cuts the rope as they are descending into a city park. Police and ambulances arriving because of the imminent plane crash. Borko slides off the wing about 10-15 feet in the air.
Close: Borko in hospital, full body cast, handcuffed to the bed with a 24 hour police watch. He’s trying to make a deal to expose the Purple Gang, but he is not trusted.
-
Connie Hood – Lesson 11 – What I’m learning
The feelings are all about how the audience reacts to events in the story. I’ve been seeing everything from the character’s emotional perspective communicated by the actors. This is a huge paradigm shift for me.
The scene I’m narrating here is right at the climax of the story. It takes place between Borko (villain) and Clara (heroine.) The setting is a 1931 circus and the key event is the last weeks of Prohibition.
Set up: In an earlier scene, Johnny, a 14 year old trapeze flier and Clara had a discussion about her fear of heights. He talked about focusing on what’s up above and always moving ahead. Don’t look back, don’t look down.
Suspense: Borko has placed one of the show poodles on a high wire platform. Clara hears the yipping and comes into the BigTop. Borko forces her up the ladder to rescue the dog. She must cross the high wire and she is sweating (no rosin.) She overrides her fears to rescue the little poodle. Hands the dog to Borko when she climbs down.
Shock: Borko snaps the dogs neck, hands it to Clara and turns on his heel. She has a lethal enemy.
-
Connie Hood Lesson #10 – Level One emotions
What I learned is that I need to be much more careful in building emotional tension, identifying the reactions and emotions of the audience. In my outline the neither the heroine nor the villain evoke a need for empathy. The heroine needs to be more clearly defined and likable to the audience and the villain needs a tragic backstory. We need to care.
Scene: Clara has sacrificed security by going undercover as an accountant. Vast sums of money are passing through her bank. She befriends the circus gals. She is afraid of heights – something that is used to evoke fear in many circus acts.
After she rejects a proposal from Borko (clown, lead suspect for bootlegging and money laundering) he lures her to the big top. A small dog from her friend’s act is stranded on top of the high wire platform. Borko sends her up the ladder, forces a tightrope walk, no net. His plan is that anxiety will make her fall. She reaches the platform with the dog, picks it up and gets down the ladder.
Borko strangles the dog, hands it back to her limp.
-
Connie Hood – Lesson #9 Plot twists
What I learned is that while some of my surprises were embedded in the plot, I needed a better understanding and sequencing of the twists. This plot is being constructed over real characters and invented situations. Examples of irony and plot twisting include:
Borko (villain) tragic back story – there will never be enough for him. He was a child in a cruel, lawless environment (Holodomor) and consideration for others is not in his makeup. He is driven.
Clara’s transformation from a banker (teller cages, back room) to an undercover investigator
Speakeasies and free flowing liquor – when the IRS is chasing bootleggers
Borko proposes to Clara – after threatening her with his knife throwing performance
Clara teams up with Clifford (FBI) and is shocked when she sees Clifford and Borko talking. Borko is trying to recruit him.
Borko sends her up to the high wire to save a dog – then he kills the dog
Borko chases Clifford’s plane, climbs on wing of the biplane. Engine blows up – ropes and oil everywhere. Clifford lands the plane and Borko survives the ride – last scene is in hospital.
-
This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by Connie Hood.
-
This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by
-
LESSON #8 – WHY DO WE CARE?
CONNIE HOOD
Who might care about these old stories?
My big takeaway is that I now need to move away from my personal fascination of these real people and their adventurous spirits. There is a real disconnect between people who fought things bigger than themselves, and a current culture where we isolate ourselves from others.
Fiction sometimes shares greater truths than reality. This story involves people who confront ambiguous moral codes (PROHIBITION), take risks on behalf of others (CARE/LOVE), and find courage to act.
The proposed outline of LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY; EMPATHY; JUSTIFICATION will help me get to the core/purpose of each line and scene. Hopefully that is enough to engage an audience. I’m going counter to the trend of magic heroes saving the world. I also seem to be with the trend of “based on true stories.” Recently watched a series with real characters and made up stories, Lidia Poet, and loved it.
-
I went through the key points outline drafted and submitted earlier this week and found that I have a balance between my hero (10) and villain (11). The actions/conflicts begin in Act IIB (action rises to a climax) and Act III (resolution.) Overall happy with my draft outline. My movie is not an action picture – more like adventure but serious action to bring it along. The adventures are from real people, the romance is real people. The settings and conflicts are invented to make a good yarn.
-
Lesson 5: Connie’s Action Track
I learned that it doesn’t always have to happen with guns. Good thing, because when they draw guns I always say, “Writer didn’t know how to end the story” and I turn off the TV. My story is more adventure than action because I’m writing from real people and real situations. This lesson gave validity to my own ideas.
-
Lesson #4
Connie Hood’s Villain Track
What I learned from this lesson: The villain has a mission and must have equal power and dimension as the hero. However, I want to introduce moral ambiguity to the missions of both hero and villain as I explore their story. I’m dealing with a background of ineffective Prohibition laws, corrupted law enforcement, and a villain whose lawless actions didn’t cause harm until it was too late to stop. My research queries are in red.
BORKO Radegoyevic is a GYPSY, originally from Romania
He is illiterate, can’t even spell his last name. He grew up in extreme poverty – never even learned how to use a toilet until he joined the circus. Now he has an elegantly furnished train car of his very own.
A. Pre-planned – the guys in James Bond movies all have visionary plans – power, money,
Clever – how does he use circumstances and skills to meet his needs? He tells fortunes – what does his sense tell him about people?
His plan is to make a million dollars in bootlegging, with the circus as his cover up. What else/who else does he own? He is ruthless. Background in Romania? What sorts of things have Romani been accused of? Research Capone’s empire.
Poverty – 1930-33 Stalin enacted Holodomor in Ukraine, death by famine. Bulgaria and Romania were also deeply affected. Children starved to death, others resorted to cannibalism. Also look at City of Thieves – based on true story by David Benioff
Is Borko fat in real life? How fat?
B. How many ways can Borko attack or destroy Clara? Diabolical nature of the villain
Background with fortunetelling and use of superstition
Dracula castle – Bran, Romania. Born in the village. Tells horror stories when he is out of makeup.
Gaslighting, getting her to believe things about others.
Deception – his hilarious antics and disguise
Off color jokes leading to Sexual assault – stopping short of rape
Danger of circus acts
Bullying Johnny
Walking her into the lions? Suggesting she hand feed them?
Knife throwing
Killing a small animal in front of her
Carelessness in clown routing causes an injury
The stunt on the tightrope plays into her fears; how did they get her into an outfit? Parasol? Clara’s success at the task is a surprise to him and to her; means she is formidable.
C. What advantage does Borko have? How can it be exploited in the movie?
A series of action sequences – use of ropes to secure, to house, to trap
Physical size – he’s a big guy
Accomplished fighter
World wise
Has a roadster
Roma – multiple languages – Tsigani
– Clara has participated in butchering hogs, knows her way around a knife. She also has deadly aim with projectiles. She identified BORKO through suspicious funds, confirmed with linguistic sense.
– Maybe Johnny began circus life as a rigger while he trained as a flier.
– Clifford (FBI) is mechanical and inventive
A. Fitting end – Clifford and Clara take off in the Model T, followed by the roadster – Clifford not afraid to drive overland. They lead Borko to police – then keep going to an open field, pick up aircraft and go. Borko jumps on the wing of Clifford’s biplane, ascends until the wind knocks him off.
B.
-
LESSON #3
Constance Hood – Clara’s mission
What I learned: Connecting the dots is going to be hard work. I’m writing a drama based on real people – Clara, Clifford, Johnny and crazy situations based on real life. Real action, real threats. Johnny was really a trapeze flier, Clifford was an MD/DDS with an airplane. Clara’s father was a revenuer. The wing walking is real, so is identifying a body, Clifford’s crash landing a plane on the farm of his potential father-in-law. These are action scenes in the midst of real stories, but I don’t have clean context yet. Need to make up a plot. Spent the week going through cartons of letters and newspaper clippings on these folks.
Ask the Mission Track questions to discover your Hero’s mission.
A. What is it about this Hero that will have them go straight into the face of the overwhelming odds?
Raised in the Victorian tradition, Clara has a rebellious streak which is fed by her intelligence and curiosity. She is brilliant and athletic. Keeps her own points of view to herself, charming public demeanor. Fearless except for heights – gets dizzy and disoriented if she even stands on a chair.
Adores her father, analyzes statistics and data for him. He’s an IRS investigator -a “revenuer”
She’s willing to help her father. Vast amounts of cash have been deposited in a local bank –
B. What is the mission that would be an impossible goal?
That someone would actually reveal to her the source of the funds – How are they discovered? How are they disbursed?
C. What strong internal and external motivation could drive the hero?
Is there a crime? What law? Does it matter? Everyone drinks on the sly, so surely booze and prohibition can’t be at the root of the extortions, tax evasion, massive earnings of a few individuals. Research early mob activity.
D. Imagine that mission playing out across a story. What could naturally happen if this hero went on this mission against this villain?
Even though Clara has been trained to keep confidences and not disclose her feelings and attitudes, this is a very dangerous situation with some ruthless people. Also a bunch of drunken dolts, high rollers and freedoms of life on the road. Is the circus the source of the money? Doesn’t make sense because they travel.
Clear Mission:
Motivation: Clara is bored to tears working in IRS office. Her father is an auditor in 1931. She’s a brilliant mathematician/linguist – Phi Beta Kappy university graduate, but not an office clerk. Athletic and adventurous.
Inciting Incident:
Reports of stranger making massive deposits to a small locally owned bank. Where is the money from? A Balkan circus is in town, but the stranger does not look familiar, or like a “circus guy.” He is reserved and conservatively dressed. No foreign accent. Claims to be….a …. Bank clerk asks several friendly questions.
First Action:
Clara meets some gals in town, shopping? Finger waves at beauty parlor? They invite her to the circus. She’s stunned by the acrobatics, stunts, and skimpy costumes. But she loves it.
Accepts an invitation to goes out late night dancing with the girls. Gals taker her to a Speakeasy. They lend her an immodest slinky dress – she is a terrific dancer. The conservative navy-blue dress and lace collar are gone. Insists on keeping her long hair. She’s never had a drink.
Obstacle:
She dances with Clifford. He asks too many questions. Evades him. He also has a undisclosed mission. He is a new FBI agent.
“Could the circus people be part of something larger?”
Escalation:
Clara makes friends with Johnny, trapeze artist. He invites her to an air show. Clifford walks the wing…She’s terrified of heights. The man is dashing. Johnny fascinated by flight –
Also meets Borko the clown, in full costume and makeup. Lots of cash flowing around the circus. Backstage they make their rakia and hang out. She’s beginning to recognize faces – none of which match the descriptions at the bank. She is also beginning to understand the Romanian/Russian conversations.
Overwhelming Odds:
This is needles in a haystack. Maybe the bank visitor really was a Detroit magnate originally from ….West Virginia? The deposit was in bags of cash, so obviously it was not – taxed? Who was that depositor? She also has a sense that her father knew this was not going to be a simple or safe situation – but that she’d be game.
New Plan:
Against the moral dilemma of Prohibition, she sees a complex mix of hypocrisy. However something smells fishy. And the bank clerk is found in the river. Clifford appears to identify the body – he is a dentist/doctor.
Full out Attack:
Borko invites her to his rail car. Forces strong drink – during performance he forces her to the tightrope platform, to walk, no net. Some sort of circus implement used as potential weapon. Johnny spots her on the tightrope walk.
Borko’s friendly clown appearance is in direct opposition to his powerful, controlling, mobster persona. He charms his prey, then consumes it.
Success: Clifford is a newly minted FBI agent – a DDS who hated dentistry and loves flying and adventure. He crash lands in her father’s farm. Who/what is this man? How are they alike? Secretive, clever. Different? Attraction is deep but neither wants to be caught yet. They begin to work together to solve the unanswered questions.
Other escalation events: Cross country chase over the mountains in a Model T/ vs. roadster. Clifford and Clara make a final escape in an airplane. Kisses and a proposal.
You can also use any of these steps: Twist, escape, search, discovery, hide out, attacking back, apparent success or defeat.
-
LESSON #2 CONNIE HOOD
What I learned was the structure of action movie. My purpose for taking the class is to set action scenes effectively. However, rethinking in the structure of the Action Movie clarifies several plot points. What I am writing is a 1930s melodrama with some action scenes. The action scenes are mostly TRUE stories. The characters of Clifford/Clara/Johnny are real people. We do want to explore the character depth to set up a puzzle.
I. MORAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HERO AND VILLAIN
Our heroine, Clara, is investigating fraud in 1931. A lot of anamolies have come up in tax records and her father is the auditor. – a lot of it emanating from a traveling circus. She can gain easy access to speakeasies and male performers.
Much of the fraud is tied to alcohol sales. While she is not against beverages – the manufacture and sale are not legal. Underground sales can’t be taxed.
Our villain, Ringmaster? Literally runs the ring – the circus performers drink…but he is gaining vast wealth in another way – very flashy. Or do I want the villain to be some sort of simple clown – the hobo, the drunkard, the clown car? Nothing threatening on the outside – sinister on the inside.
Talk to Judi Garratt
Clara is trying to do her job – even though she is beginning to understand that the Prohibition laws they are enforcing does not benefit anyone. Instead Prohibition builds a criminal class in the US. She is a newlywed. Husband Clifford is a doctor/dentist. They are “nice” people, WASP and at times their comments about others are shocking.
Works for an IRS agent who is on the take.
Villain – already an extortionist, willing to kidnap, threaten life – someone in the circus is squealing to Clara – who is it, and what kind of accident will happen?
Mission: moves from information gathering to saving Clara?
MORALLY RIGHT: Enforce the law and bring people to justice? Fair for everyone.
Question the law? Scenes will cause the audience to question the role of prohibitions and consequences in American lives.
MORALLY WRONG: Use any means to get to an end – including violent crime.
II. HIGHLY SKILLED HERO:
A. UNIQUE SKILL SET
CLARA
Clara is a mathematician. Also a linguist – she begins to pick up the Russian – she is clever, intuitive, and knows how to throw things – rocks, bottles, shit. CLARA – A co-ed University of Michigan; Phi-Beta Kappa in mathematics and Linguistics, speaks fluent French. A real stunner –brunette and startling blue eyes. Great social skills and is able to make friends. She volunteers to visit some of the individuals in question – get to know them and their social circles, including speakeasies.
She’s deathly afraid of heights. Naïve regarding secrets, desperate people, and violent crime.
Clifford is a doctor but also owns an airplane, brilliant mechanic – also surgeon, first aid,
Johnny – the trapeze artist, befriended Clara – literally knows how to fly. JOHNNY – A very young Irish trapeze artist in a traveling circus. Circus Balkanski – a Bulgarian troupe of performers, clowns, and small fry bootleggers. Mick has a crush on Clara and often accompanies her, even though he is only 16. She welcomes his presence in questionable locales.
B. MOTIVATION
Protect Clara – Clifford
Get back at villain – Johnny
Eliminate all three – Villain
What is the movie with all the failed efforts to commit suicide or kill somebody? A Man Called Ove? Lots of rope around the circus.
C. SECRET OR WOUND
Clara’s secret is that she and Clifford have gone to speakeasies. Have paid doorkeepers. She doesn’t think this law is of value to society. She can present herself as worldly or sophisticated, but doesn’t feel she is.
Johnny’s wound is that he is in love with Clara, will do anything to protect her even if she is not to be his.
Wound/Secret – Clifford. Has lost his brother in an accident. He identified the body. Not sure what his brother was involved in.
III. UNBEATABLE VILLAIN
He holds all the money, the power, the connections. He owns the mayor of any town he visits.
He is a controller.
BORKO
The controller who has big money and power. I’m thinking of a circus clown, gentle and funny. Serious disguise for whoever this guy really is. Romanian, American, Italian – maybe a gypsy mutt. Clown character name?
In the US the big children’s clown was Bozo. In your language…Borko would resonate with Americans. May I use that? Clown is all action, no talk. Then we need a name for the big spender, suits, a flashy lucky gem – maybe a pigeon blood ruby. This guy is not shy about violence. Haven’t decided on action vs talk for that one. Very tough guy.
IV. PLAN/GOAL
Borko:
Plans to kill Clara when he finds out she is an investigator. – girl for the knife thrower? Tightrope? Lion?
One possibility is that he invites her for drinks, makes it clear that “no” is not an option. Then, in performance he forces a drunk woman up the tightrope platform and makes her walk.
Take the money and run – let the revenuers know to never come near him again.
BORKO
WHAT DO THEY LOSE IF C&C WIN?
Their lifeline of cash and high living.
His freedom to do as he pleases
Possibly his secrets – reputations ruined, his fan base – he holds power over them
His power over others
V. IMPOSSIBLE MISSION
Puts the hero into the action
Clara must move into danger. Her father thought she would do a little fact finding and come home. Instead, as the problem goes deeper, she dives deeper, putting herself in danger. Borko kidnaps her – not for ransom. She must survive.
Demands she go beyond her best
Her brains and beauty are one thing; she must confront her fears – If she doesn’t walk the tightrope he will throw her off the platform – if she does? Does he find another way to do away with her?
Destroys the villain
Clifford climbs up the platform on the other side…
Clara and Borko end up in the Model T – Clifford apprehends them by air, propellor falls off…
Plane crash into a stone wall, fire
-
THIS WINDOW STILL DOES NOT ACCEPT COPY AND PASTE. NONE OF MY WORK HAS BEEN UPLOADED!!!!
Lesson #4 – Connie’s Villain Track
What I learned from this lesson: The villain has a mission and must have equal power and dimension as the hero. However I want to introduce moral ambiguity to the missions of both hero and villain as I explore their story. I’m working with a background of ineffective Prohibition laws, corrupted law enforcement and a villain who lawless actions didn’t cause harm until it was too late to stop.
-
I can’t seem to cut and paste my assignment. Here is the header:
What I learned was the structure of an action movie. My purpose for taking this class is to set action scenes effectively. Rethinking in the structure of the Action Movie clarifies several plot points. Spoiler – no guns, no martial arts. I have a 1930s melodrama with some action scenes. The main characters were real people, and they were bold. The wild action scenes derive from true stories. However, I want to explore character depth and complexity to set up the puzzle.
Connie Hood
-
I’m Constance (Connie) Hood and my first screenplay is in the hands of producers. I got lucky. Most of my background is in theater. I have written several short plays for student productions. My three published books are based on the antics and anomalies of real people. This time, the real people lived by their actions so I need to learn how that works in a screenplay.
My biggest asset for this ride is my(non-writer) husband who was an action films actor for 15 years.
-
I/we agree to the terms of this release form. My husband will be collaborating with me on this screenplay but I will be the writer.
Constance Hood
-
What I learned from this assignment is a listing of cost/benefit items and how to evaluate choices.
My story as low budget:
ActI – interior/exterior of a simple bungalow, a set for an abandoned house in disrepair, interiors of LA City Hall offices, conflict portrayed in close-up, popcorn shack at a football game. Use of talented but relatively unknown actors in the three lead roles.
Act II – House movers in close-up work on elements of moving a large house; use of existing 1980s video footage. Dialogue confined to people in the here and now; limited use of neighbors and observers.
Act III – Intimate scenes of a couple restoring a house, use of 2-3 actors as laborers; use author’s photographs of finished restoration. Intimate wedding scene, generic fireplace.
My story in high budget:
Act I- Much closer to the actual scope of the feat of moving the house. Focus on 3 lead characters with some audience drawing power. Known actors in cameo roles. High drama in the confrontation between husband and wife – setting at a high school football game. Use of green screen to take advantage of existing game footage; location on an actual school football field; use of minors in background scenes. Greater character exposition.
Act II – Would like to use several small groups of actors for various purposes. The same actors can reappear in different roles. Old men at the fence judging the main character; neighbors; a nursery school class; re-enact the house move with 1-2 pieces of heavy equipment. Expand on plot with more than one incident that illustrates the patterns of catastrophes and miracles.
Act III – Access a location for a restored house. Interior/Exterior shots of LA City Hall for nemesis events. Gorgeous wedding in a restored home.
-
What I learned is that critical events are not enough. The situations need to engage the audience in a character’s decision making – her hopes, her fears.
I actually posted my take on this on the Lesson 7 page.
-
What I learned from this assignment is that I really need to focus all the obstacles and problems into a single understandable adversary. The circumstances don’t tell it all.
Act One: A young family finds an abandoned house, an architectural classic. After research and advice, they make a decision to borrow funds from a family member and move the house.
Hope – there will be a lovely home for extended family – mom, dad, child, and aging grandfather who put up his entire equity.
Fail – husband has been having affair with a co-worker; defaults on debt to his father
Fear – Wife in spite of obstacles, will undertake the move so that she can assemble a saleable home and repay her father in law.
Act Two: The new foundation fails, contractor in default; child gets sick; couple files for divorce
Hope – How can the mom preserve some stability and security for the child?
Fear- Bankruptcy looms and she will even lose her existing house
Act Three: A low budget film company rents the ruined home for a location shoot
Hope – she can get enough cash to take a couple months on her decision to file bankruptcy
Chet Hood shows up with the film crew – decides he loves her, kid, house –
Fear – She’s terrified of her involvement with Chet
Act Four: Connie, Chet, child, and teams of workers rehabilitate the old house
Hope – This house can survive and she can then plan her next steps forward.
Fear – Chet will leave; Chet will stay – Counselor and six year old tell her to lose the fear. Day laborers tell him he needs to marry her and raise the little boy.
Wedding
-
I’m struggling with posting items that I create in Word. I have very clear story arcs for each character, and really like the idea that these journeys do not all happen at the same time. The dynamics of this exercise are fascinating. Wish I could post what I have.
-
The exercise clarified the relationships between the three main characters – a woman, a child, and two husbands- and their role in saving a massive 1909 home. It’s not all about the career driven/goal oriented mother. The two men must be tightly woven into her narrative. I’m working with a true story, but it still needs much tighter dramatization of the people and their relationship to a special house.
-
I’m working with a true story, but it still needs much tighter dramatization of the people and their relationship to a special house. The exercise clarified the relationships between the three main characters – a woman, a child, and two husbands- and their role in saving a massive 1909 home. It’s not all about the career driven/goal oriented mother. The two men must be tightly woven into her narrative.
-
What I learned doing this assignment – is how your story structure drives the characters. I always wrote, character, conflict, story. Now I understand why my producer really worked my story structure with me and told me to just “go for it” in the first draft.
I’m working with a true story. A single mother undertakes an improbable/maybe impossible challenge. She is driven, but her goals are not that much about her. She wants things for others. Two husbands are involved. Spouse #1 initiates the project but he personally has no sense of purpose, passive aggressive. Spouse #2 is all in, just at the point when she couldn’t go on. He clarifies the purpose for her. The little boy is “all in” and his naivete brings the absolute truth to all involved.
A question I have: Your examples focus very heavily on “the unknown adversary.” These characters are isolated – alone in space, aliens, etc. Humans don’t really operate alone. We are pack animals that operate in communities. I’d love to look at more examples dealing with human conflict in limited situations.
THIS LESSON GAVE ME A LOT OF HELP IN HOW I WANT TO REVISE ACT 1 OF MY DRAFT SCREENPLAY. I need to up the stakes and conflicts for the main characters right off the bat. I sort of meandered into my first draft of Act 1.
Thanks,
Connie Hood
-
A. I like the process and the components. Brainstorming on the five ideas and generating options is fun. I did feel like the elements were more suited to Action/Adventure writing and the story I’m working so hard on isn’t like that. I’ve got something that begins as a disaster movie and ends up as a rom-com.
B. I thought I had a clear underlying theme but the Device is troublesome. In my first draft I’m setting up a heroine who accomplishes an extraordinary task. If I think about Device, What difference does it make?
-
PART I
All five of my ideas are high tension, high drama. Most are based on actual experiences. A sixth idea takes place in a horse barn during a massive wildfire. It only requires a couple wranglers and one set to save the animals. It’s based on my husband’s experience as a horse rescue guy, and how the horses had to be driven over the ridge in the Woolsey fire, so they could run downhill to the beaches. A lot of threat, danger, loss, and a happy ending. Outdoor shooting works for Covid – socially distanced, fresh air.
PART II
I chose Don’t Look Up, even though it came out during COVID. I liked the satire, and the allegory for climate breakdown.
The film has seven lead characters, but much of it takes place in an observatory setting.
There are several subplot stories and characters that show how communities will be affected by annihilation – even when it’s expected. These include press and media, talk show guests, politicians, several interior sets and shots. Many of the scenes are done with 2-3 characters at a time. Exterior shots of crowd scenes waiting for the natural disaster can be minimized.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Connie Hood.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
-
1. Hi Everyone, my name is Connie Hood
2. I’m writing my first script. It is a new genre for me. I’m an established author in other areas.
3. I want to get an awareness of how my story should look in a script, and things that will make it easier to get produced.
4. A unique thing to me – this story – As a single mom, I bulldozed a canyon and dragged a huge house uphill, in two pieces. Spent the rest of my life reassembling it.
5. I hope this class helps me get a cleaner first draft of the story to the producer who is partnering on it.
So happy to have finally found the LOGON! Yikes.
-
My name is Constance Hood and I agree to the terms of this release form.