[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Scene Requirements
VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.
What I learned: A bit of a long process but it really fills in the blanks identifying holes in the scene progression.
OUTLINE 1
TITLE: VAMPIRE SANTA: THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
ACT 1: OLD WAYS
1: EXT. SLEIGH ABOVE – CRIMSON NORTH – NIGHT
(CHRISTMAS EVE – DAY 0) Nicholas Samichlaus, aka Santa Claus and a centuries-old vampire, struggles with bloodlust intensified during Christmas. Dawn approaches. Santa delivers toys. Asks Eirlys for a drink. She's run out. He soldiers on. She says that the night is over. Come back next year. Santa pleads for one more, a sick child. Eirlys begs him to stop. You know what will happen.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From determination to deliver gifts to succumbing to bloodlust
• Essence: Establish Santa's dual nature and his struggle
• Conflict: Santa's mission vs. his vampire needs
• Subtext: The weight of his curse and Eirlys' fear
• Hope/Fear: Hope he resists, fear he succumbs
2: INT. CHILD'S HOUSE – NIGHT
(DAY 0) Collapses at the child's house, uses his waning powers to attract a drug-addled boy, her brother. He feeds. Rejuvenated, he delivers to the young girl sleeping by the tree. Santa grabs Eirlys, taps his nose, flies away through the ceiling, a candy cane lies on the bed next to still alive brother. NOTE: Whenever the vampire takes over, his face distorts.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From weakness to rejuvenation
• Essence: Show the power and cost of his vampiric side
• Conflict: His need for blood vs. his Santa duties
• Subtext: The innocence he protects vs. the innocence he takes
• Hope/Fear: Hope he fulfills his Santa role, fear of his vampire side
3: EXT. ROOF – CHILD'S HOUSE – NIGHT
(DAY 0) Apologizes to Eirlys. Says the boy didn't deserve that. He hates that his cravings control him. Would do anything to stop.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From guilt to determination
• Essence: Santa's remorse and desire to change
• Conflict: His actions vs. his ideals
• Subtext: The depth of his inner conflict
• Hope/Fear: Hope he finds a solution, fear he's trapped
4: EXT. SLEIGH ABOVE – CRIMSON NORTH – NIGHT
(DAY 0) Eirlys points out that the 12 Days have started. She'll be here soon. We don't have to stay in one town. Nick: points out that he lives for the hunt. Eirlys: Or hunter.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From suggestion to realization
• Essence: Foreshadow the coming conflict
• Conflict: Eirlys' caution vs. Nick's desires
• Subtext: Nick's subconscious longing
• Hope/Fear: Hope for escape, fear of confrontation
5: EXT. ABANDONED BUILDING – NIGHT
(DAY 1) – TURNING POINT 1 Inciting Incident: Interpol Agent Isabella Clarke investigates "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks. Isabella, a crossbow with a wooden bolt aimed at a Man. Her phone dings. The text reads: “12 Days started. City – Crimson North”. She fires the bolt, penetrates the Man's back, he collapses, dead. Reveals he’s a vampire. She turns, strolls away.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From focused to intrigued
• Essence: Introduce Isabella and her mission
• Conflict: Her current task vs. new lead
• Subtext: Her ruthless efficiency
• Hope/Fear: Hope she finds her target, fear of what she'll uncover
6: INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
(DAY 1) Isabella checks in with the local police, a hardened, no-nonsense demeanor, clearly carrying emotional baggage from her tragic past. Hates Christmas. Desk Sergeant hands her a FedEx envelope. Stands before a cork board with pictures of missing children from the area. Opens the envelope, it's her as a child with two adults.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From professional to personal
• Essence: Reveal Isabella's hidden pain
• Conflict: Her focus on work vs. personal history
• Subtext: Her unresolved past
• Hope/Fear: Hope for answers, fear of what they might be
7: INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
(DAY 1) At the hospital with the victim's family, the little girl tells her that Santa provided the toy. Says her parents couldn't afford it. They concur that it wasn't from them. She says Santa ate the cookies and milk. The dad signals that it was him.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From skeptical to curious
• Essence: First clue to Santa's involvement
• Conflict: Rational thinking vs. unusual evidence
• Subtext: The magic hidden in plain sight
• Hope/Fear: Hope for a lead, fear it's a dead end
8: INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
(DAY 1) Isabella enters a church, unfamiliar with the experience. Lights a candle, places the photo of her and the two adults. She wonders who the adults are. They are her race and her parents growing up were a different race.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From detached to contemplative
• Essence: Isabella's search for identity
• Conflict: Her current self vs. unknown past
• Subtext: The mystery of her origins
• Hope/Fear: Hope for connection, fear of displacement
9: EXT. CHILD'S HOUSE – DAY
(DAY 2) – TURNING POINT 1 Nicholas and Isabella meet at a crime scene, sparking romance. He introduces himself as a Toy Designer, he bets she's Interpol. Surprised.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From professional distance to personal interest
• Essence: The beginning of their connection
• Conflict: Her suspicions vs. his charm
• Subtext: The irony of her target being her attraction
• Hope/Fear: Hope for companionship, fear of distraction
10: EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
(DAY 2) Kozlov, watches Nicholas charm the townspeople, attempts to mimic his appeal but fails, revealing his deep-seated envy of Nicholas's Santa-derived power to be loved despite his vampiric nature. Tries to charm a woman, fails. Child runs from him. Tries a Santa laugh, children cringe.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From attempt to failure
• Essence: Kozlov's envy and lack
• Conflict: His vampiric nature vs. desire for love
• Subtext: The power of Nick's chosen identity
• Hope/Fear: Hope he gains admiration, fear of rejection
11: EXT. CHILD'S HOUSE – NIGHT
(DAY 2) Nick glances at the setting sun. More Santa magic, the sun sets. A snap of the fingers, time freezes, Nick checks the neighbors, all in the nice category. He walks the street, enters an apartment building, a man frozen in mid-swing at a woman. Nick unfreezes the man, feeds. Nick heals the woman's bruised face. Nick dances to Isabella. No longer looking tired.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From risk to recovery
• Essence: Nick's magical abilities and moral code
• Conflict: His need to feed vs. desire to help
• Subtext: The complexity of his actions
• Hope/Fear: Hope he maintains control, fear of exposure
12: EXT. CHILD'S HOUSE – NIGHT
(DAY 2) Neighborhood children gather around. Nick hands them candy canes. Isabella asks for one for later. A police call comes in, the wife beater is dead. Nick offers to walk her to the crime scene.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From suspicion to plotting
• Essence: Nick's connection with children
• Conflict: Isabella's wariness vs. children's trust
• Subtext: The power of innocence
• Hope/Fear: Hope she sees his good side, fear it's a ruse
ACT 2: EMBRACING THE OLD WAYS
13: INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
(DAY 2) A policeman tries to keep Nick out. Magiced. Nick goes to the wife, tells her about her future. Wishes her well. Isabella watches him in action, mesmerized.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From skepticism to admiration
• Essence: Nick's compassion shining through
• Conflict: Police protocol vs. Nick's intervention
• Subtext: Isabella's growing attraction
• Hope/Fear: Hope she sees beyond the case, fear of unprofessionalism
14: EXT. STREET – DAY
(DAY 3) Nick follows the police down the street, Eirlys joins him, yanks him behind a bush. Accuses him of repeating the tragedy of Christmas 1814. Tells her he's just playing. Nothing will happen.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From confidence to doubt
• Essence: The shadow of Nick's past
• Conflict: Nick's assurance vs. Eirlys' warning
• Subtext: The pattern he's repeating
• Hope/Fear: Hope he's right, fear history repeats
15: EXT. STREET – DAY
(DAY 3) As Isabella questions Nick about his whereabouts, he tells her about the joy of making toys. It's Santa magic. She's mesmerized. He offers her an ancient, homemade toy with the initials N.S.. When asked he says the initials must be a coincidence. When he stops talking, a crowd of children sit at his feet. Eirlys introduced to Isabella.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From interrogation to enchantment
• Essence: Nick's Santa magic at work
• Conflict: Her questions vs. his storytelling
• Subtext: The truth hidden in his tales
• Hope/Fear: Hope she trusts him, fear she sees through him
16: INT. DINER – DAY
(DAY 3) At lunch, Eirlys eats a massive meal. Nick has hot chocolate and pie. As Eirlys slows down, she pulls out a folder of pictures and details about the teens, three boys, two girls. Nick marks them with “naughty" as he scrolls through their pictures. Says that the leader will be last. Eirlys says that they are just kids and don't deserve to die. Nick inquires of Eirlys if she concurs that this meets the requirements for the 12 Days of Christmas.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From planning to moral debate
• Essence: Nick's judgment system
• Conflict: Nick's code vs. Eirlys' compassion
• Subtext: The weight of their roles
• Hope/Fear: Hope for justice, fear of harshness
17: INT. EIRLYS' CAR – NIGHT
(DAY 3) Flashback: The first 12 Days attacks. Santa flies into a small town, is robbed by town thugs who steal his bag giving them unlimited access to toys. They plan on reselling them. Santa sends for a replacement bag. After the deliveries, Santa returns, takes out all 12 men in the gang, one after another, creating fear and panic in the criminal community. At the end, the Sheriff drafted a force of farmers/business owners who mopped up the extended crime network. Peace and prosperity follow.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From victimization to retribution
• Essence: The origin of the 12 Days tradition
• Conflict: Santa's robbery vs. his vengeance
• Subtext: The balance of good and evil
• Hope/Fear: Hope for order, fear of his methods
18: EXT. TEEN HANGOUT – NIGHT
(DAY 3) One of the girls meets with basketball player. Gives him cash and sex.
18a: INT. BASKETBALL GAME – NIGHT
He throws a close game.
18b: EXT. DINER – NIGHT
The Team goes out to commensurate their loss. Afterwards, the Player meets with the Teen leader, and gets paid. Nick as Santa waits. As the Teen leader walks away, Santa as Nick attacks the Player.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From observation to action
• Essence: Nick's selective justice
• Conflict: Teen's scheme vs. Nick's hunt
• Subtext: The layers of corruption
• Hope/Fear: Hope he stops the cycle, fear of his bloodlust
19: INT. ABANDONED STORE – NIGHT
(DAY 4) Nick grabs one of the boys taking a leak. He's gone. Nick rushes to lunch. The Gang looks for the missing boy.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From stalking to feeding
• Essence: Nick's efficient predation
• Conflict: His hunger vs. his schedule
• Subtext: The mundane vs. the monstrous
• Hope/Fear: Hope he's not late, fear he's discovered
20: EXT. PARK – DAY
(DAY 4) Nick arranges a picnic in the park. The weather is spring-like. He presents her with a snow globe. The house is the house she grew up in. Nick Santa laughs, makes light of it. A moment of pure excitement for Isabella. His thoughtfulness and magical abilities create a perfect date. Isabella says she loved that house. How did he know? I loved growing up there and I love my parents. But sometimes… sometimes it was like I didn't exist to them. Nick asks her why she is here. She tries not to answer but is compelled.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From surprise to revelation
• Essence: Nick's deep understanding of Isabella
• Conflict: His hidden knowledge vs. her openness
• Subtext: The complexity of her past
• Hope/Fear: Hope for intimacy, fear of exposure
21: EXT. PARK BENCH – DAY (DAY 5) Nick kicks back on a park bench, a child pulls on his sleeve, points at the candy canes in his pocket. He hands her and her friends each a cane and a Christmas-y toy. They hug him, run off. Kozlov sits beside him. Kozlov accuses Nicholas of betraying vampire-kind for his Santa role, only to be driven back by Nicholas's candy cane sword, empowered by children's love.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From peace to confrontation
• Essence: The power of Nick's chosen identity
• Conflict: Vampire tradition vs. Nick's path
• Subtext: The strength derived from love
• Hope/Fear: Hope he maintains his way, fear of vampire world's rejection
22a: EXT. PARK BENCH – DAY
Nick kicks back on a park bench, a child pulls on his sleeve, points at the candy canes in his pocket. He hands her and her friends each a cane and a Christmas-y toy. They hug him, run off. Kozlov sits beside him. Kozlov accuses Nicholas of betraying vampire-kind for his Santa role, only to be driven back by Nicholas's candy cane sword, empowered by children's love.
22: INT. TEEN GANG'S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
(DAY 5) Nick shows up at the Teen Gang's hideout, magically wipes all fingerprints from the building, manipulates the memory of the teens. They suddenly don't remember anything, even what they just told the police.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From evidence to erasure
• Essence: Nick's manipulation skills
• Conflict: Police work vs. his intervention
• Subtext: The extent of his powers
• Hope/Fear: Hope he covers his tracks, fear of consequences
23: EXT. CRIME SCENE – NIGHT
(DAY 5) Eirlys signals to Nick. As Nick leaves, he offers to meet Isabella for lunch tomorrow. At first, she refuses, a little Santa magic, she cheerfully says yes. Isabella questions her sanity.
Nick at Eirlys’ car, watches Isabella work. He confesses to Eirlys that he is in love with Isabella and begs her to help him prevent a Christmas 1814.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From denial to admission
• Essence: Nick's deep feelings
• Conflict: His love vs. his past
• Subtext: The weight of history
• Hope/Fear: Hope for redemption, fear of repetition
24: EXT. BAD STREETS – NIGHT
25: INT. GIRL'S HOUSE – NIGHT
(DAY 5) The two girls wonder if the Superintendent will ever give them their freedom. (they were trafficked) Depressed at the loss of one of their own. Nick enters. One dead. One bit but alive.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From despair to horror
• Essence: The darker side of Nick's mission
• Conflict: Girls' hope vs. Nick's method
• Subtext: The complex web of victimhood
• Hope/Fear: Hope for their freedom, fear of Nick's brutality

26: INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
(DAY 6) Nick goes to the hospital, disguised as a respiratory technician, the girl does not recognize him. He finishes her off, takes her half full bag of blood with him. As he attacks, she remembers what happened. Nick calls her his leftovers.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From deception to consumption
• Essence: Nick's ruthless efficiency
• Conflict: Medical ethics vs. his needs
• Subtext: The irony of his disguise
• Hope/Fear: Hope he's not caught, fear of his coldness
27: EXT. CRIME SCENE- DAY
(DAY 6) Kozlov arrives at the crime scene, says he's a P.I.. (Is this her intro to K? Does she already know?) Takes Isabella off to the side, asks her outright if she is chasing a vampire, and asks if it has been six attacks since this is the sixth day of Christmas. He describes Nick. Doesn't believe Kozlov.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From skepticism to doubt
• Essence: Kozlov's attempt to reveal Nick
• Conflict: Isabella's disbelief vs. Kozlov's claims
• Subtext: The truth hiding in plain sight
• Hope/Fear: Hope she dismisses him, fear he's right
28: EXT. ICE RINK – NIGHT
(DAY 6) – MIDPOINT TURNING POINT Nick and Isabella ice skating. Kozlov appears. Nick stops time. Kozlov orders him to leave Crimson North. Nick must leave but immediately returns. Kozlov says he will permanently ban Nick from town. Reminds him that his "(Santa) duties" override his orders.
PARKING LOT
Kozlov storms off, runs into Eirlys. She reminds him that he is Nick’s sire and has a duty to prevent another Christmas 1814. He queries why would he want to do that?
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From romance to confrontation
• Essence: The clash of vampire politics
• Conflict: Nick's love vs. Kozlov's authority
• Subtext: The power dynamics at play
• Hope/Fear: Hope Nick outsmarts him, fear of expulsion
29: EXT. ICE RINK – NIGHT
(DAY 6) Unaware of what happened but influenced by it, Isabella opens up about her parents and being pulled from the burning house by Santa – she laughs, says at least someone dressed as Santa. Nick: Maybe it's for the best. We would have never met without their deaths. But what happened to you (in the subsequent fire) is unforgiveable. [possible flashback location]
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From laughter to sorrow
• Essence: Isabella's tragic past
• Conflict: Her memory vs. the truth
• Subtext: Nick's hidden role
• Hope/Fear: Hope for comfort, fear of revelation
30: INT. OLD WORKSHOP – NIGHT
(DAY 6) Nick Santa magics Isabella to an old workshop in the woods. She doesn't realize that she has been transported many miles away. In the workshop are many ancient homemade toys. There is one labeled Christmas 1814. The tiny people inside are Nick, Eirlys, and another woman. Isabella gets a call about Girl 2 dead in the hospital. Nick magics her to the hospital.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From wonder to revelation
• Essence: Nick's hidden history
• Conflict: Isabella's awe vs. unseen truth
• Subtext: The echoes of past tragedy
• Hope/Fear: Hope she's charmed, fear she connects dots
ACT 3: TRANSITION
31: SERIES OF SHOTS – DAY
Flashback: Series of shots showing Nick wooing a woman, he tries to give up being a vampire, fails, she witnesses it. Nick kills her and escapes.
32: INT: HOSPITAL – NIGHT
As Isabella investigates Girl 2’s death, Nick passes out toys on the Children’s ward.
33: EXT. STREET – NIGHT
Isabella follows Nick while Eirlys drives him. She advises him to reveal that he’s Santa as that will prevent her going nuts. As they talk, he magics a truck to block the road, escaping from Isabella. Eirlys drops him off before a house with Teen 4 shooting hoops.
34: EXT. BACKYARD – NIGHT
(DAY 7) Teen 4 attacked, dead.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From life to death
• Essence: The cost of Nick's mission
• Conflict: Teen's youth vs. Nick's judgment
• Subtext: The finality of his choices
• Hope/Fear: Hope it's justified, fear it's excessive
35: INT. RENTAL CAR – NIGHT
(DAY 7) Isabella's rental car mysteriously breaks. Eirlys picks her up, offers her a hot chocolate from a thermos. Isabella unloads on her dilemma. Asks Eirlys if she knows that Nick is a vampire. How can she kill the man she loves. Rage overcomes her. How could he do this to her, to those innocent people?
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From frustration to revelation
• Essence: Isabella's inner turmoil
• Conflict: Her love vs. her duty
• Subtext: The depth of her feelings
• Hope/Fear: Hope for clarity, fear of the truth
36: INT. RENTAL CAR – NIGHT
(DAY 8) Sitting behind the wheel, she tells herself that she has to kill him even if she loves him.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From doubt to resolve
• Essence: Isabella's hard choice
• Conflict: Heart vs. profession
• Subtext: The price of integrity
• Hope/Fear: Hope she's strong enough, fear of regret
37: EXT. DINER – DAY
(DAY 8) Isabella watches Nick put down a massive breakfast. She loads a small crossbow with a wooden bolt, hides it in her bag.
38: INT. DINER – DAY
(DAY 8) Between mouthfuls, Nick says he has to tell her something. Waitress brings coffee. Isabella pulls the crossbow out. Nick magics the crossbow, turns it into a toy. Isabella unaware. Isabella interviews Nick about Eirlys’ car at the crime scene. Simultaneously, Nick admits to being a vampire as Isabella asks him if he is one. Isabella fires her toy. Nick hands her the toy bolt, pats her cheek, walks out. Isabella gobsmacked on what happened to the crossbow.
39: INT. SUPERINTENDENT’S OFFICE – DAY
(DAY 8) Nick glamours his way in. Interviews Supe. Learns of fight club, trafficking, other crimes. Nick finds a secret door, enters as only Santa can. Filing cabinets, cork boards, white boards. Labels of: Sold, Hooking, Prospects. Random looks. Mostly girls but also boys. Nick magics the files into a Santa bag. Nick takes a sip, un-glamours Supe. As he leaves, Supe startled at the blood dripping down his neck.
40: EXT. FIGHT CLUB – NIGHT
(DAY 8) Nick, in the Mini Cooper, drives up to the site of Fight Club. Denied entry. As he leaves, the Mini morphs into a sleigh and to the roof he goes.
41: INT. FIGHT CLUB – NIGHT
(DAY 8) Nick materializes, briefly looking like Santa. No one notices. Nick robs all the cash. Vamps on Supe. Santa’s his body to the Mini.
42: SKIES OVER TOWN – NIGHT
(DAY 8) The sleigh (Mini) flies out of town, drops Supe’s body into the lake.
43: INT. FIGHT CLUB – NIGHT
(DAY 8) Riot breaks out over the missing money, missing Supe.

44: INT. FIGHT CLUB – MORNING
(DAY 9) Many EMTs carry out victims of the riot. Isabella interviews them. Kozlov at the crime scene. Says no one will ever find Supe. Not all vampires leave bodies behind. Isabella says it’s not a vampire crime, just your normal crime. Super took off with the money. While examining the scene, an anonymous text arrives: More than just children are on the naughty list.
45: EXT. NATIVITY – NIGHT
(DAY 9) Nick sits on a bench before a Nativity scene, Isabella joins him. She admits that she's never felt being part of a family. But now… She admits she cannot kill him. She professes her love for him, Kozlov appears. (May need to setup the ‘love’ a little better.)
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From intimacy to interruption
• Essence: The moment of vulnerability
• Conflict: Isabella's openness vs. Kozlov's intrusion
• Subtext: The fragility of their connection
• Hope/Fear: Hope for acceptance, fear of disruption
45: EXT. NATIVITY – NIGHT
(DAY 9) – TURNING POINT Kozlov exposes Nicholas as the killer of her parents and the one responsible for her inability to have children. Isabella has a flashback of Nicholas’ Santa laugh at her parents’ death and a flashback of the earlier crime scene where Nick Santa laughed. Isabella says she hates Nick and will kill him.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From love to hatred
• Essence: The shattering truth
• Conflict: Isabella's trust vs. Nick's past
• Subtext: The irony of their bond
• Hope/Fear: Hope it's a lie, fear it's true
46: EXT. THE STREETS – NIGHT
(DAY 9) He walks the bad streets. Looks for an opportunity. I man jumps out at him with a gun. Gives him a Santa laugh, sniffs him. Tells him he stinks and not worth the effort. The man shoots him in the back. Nick stumbles, turns into scary vampire, attacks him on the street. Rips his head off, jams the gun into his neck cavity. Nick slumps, full vampire face. Eirlys approaches. He attacks her, bites her neck. Eirlys, calm, calls out to Nick to “come back to me.” As she fades, Nick realizes his mistake, heals her, hugs her. Kozlov argues that the Santa role is a delusion masking his true monstrous self. Nick says he’s learning to control it. Kozlov points out he just yanked a man’s head off. Nick says that he wasn’t using it.
ACT 4: NEW WAYS – CLIMAX
47: EXT. CRIMSON NORTH – DAY
(DAY 10) – Nick says he has something to do. Isabella begs him to stay. He warns her to stay away that Kozlov must be stopped so that he can stop.
48: INT. TEEN HANGOUT – DAY
(DAY 10) – Teen Leader, alone, sips from a bottle of Tequila, rubs his eyes. Santa appears, fades to Nick and to vampire. Teen knows what’s going to happen, begs to be given a chance, promises to do good. Nick, apologizes, bites his neck. He’s dead.
49: EXT. ISABELLA’S CAR – TRAVELLING – DAY
(DAY 10) – Isabella in her rental, drives for hours, stops at a burnt-out house, the house she grew up in.
50: INT. ISABELLA’S CHILDHOOD HOME – DAY
(DAY 10) – Everything has been destroyed, burnt, or stolen except an unwrapped candy cane in perfect shape hanging from one of the surviving structures, a closet door. On the mantel, the framed family picture, perfectly preserved, that she received early in Act 1. Kozlov captures Isabella. Ties her up, throws her in her trunk.
51: EXT. PLAYGROUND – DAY
(DAY 10) – Nicholas battles Kozlov, channeling love, Christmas magic, and vampiric abilities. Nick calls on his North Pole team, a sleigh pulled by reindeer arrives loaded with elves armed with toy-like weapons. As he fights, he morphs into Santa then vampire and back, attracting children from all around. Nick stakes himself, dies.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From conflict to sacrifice
• Essence: Nick's ultimate choice
• Conflict: Vampire vs. Santa
• Subtext: The power of identity
• Hope/Fear: Hope for redemption, fear of loss
52: EXT. PLAYGROUND – DAY
Kozlov grabs a kid. The kid screams. Kozlov flashes back toto a centuries-old memory of Kozlov as a human father, trying to save his child from marauders.
FLASHBACK
53: EXT. POLISH FARM – 1660 – DAY
Russians ravish the Polish countryside. Kozlov’s father is killed protecting his family. Only Kozlov survives.
End flashback
54: 52: EXT. PLAYGROUND – DAY
Kozlov stares Nick down. Bends to bite the kid. Nick stakes himself, dies. Everyone screams. Kozlov surprised he won, stares off at his reflection in a store’s window, his reflection fades from vampire to human and back. Isabella tries to rush to Nick, Kozlov grabs her, says that she is his, now.
55: EXT. CRIMSON NORTH – NIGHT (DAY 10) A glow forms around Nick. Children rush in, hug him. Nick, full on Santa mode, wakes, a weak ho, ho, ho. The kids scream. Isabella cries. Nick points out that Santa magic is stronger than vampire magic. He just didn't know that. Santa magics Kozlov, turns him into a 8 inch tall statue, puts it in his pocket. All the kids pile on. Nick calls on his North Pole team, a sleigh pulled by reindeer arrives loaded with elves. The elves pass out toys. Santa walks Isabella to his sleigh, offers to help her up, she climbs in.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From death to rebirth
• Essence: The triumph of love
• Conflict: Death vs. magic
• Subtext: The power of belief
• Hope/Fear: Hope for miracle, fear it's too late
56: INT. NORTH POLE – DAY (DAY 11 & 12) Nicholas reveals that he had no control over his urges so he only fed on "the naughty". Isabella asks about her parents. Nicholas tells her that her parents embezzled money from the orphanage that they ran, depriving children of what could have been a much better life. She asks if that is why she is a hunter? Because she is flawed like her parents. He says she was trafficked, and her real parents are still alive.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From question to revelation
• Essence: The complexity of morality
• Conflict: Past assumptions vs. truth
• Subtext: The shades of good and evil
• Hope/Fear: Hope for understanding, fear of self-doubt
57: INT. NORTH POLE – DAY (EPILOGUE) Christmas magic cures Isabella's inability to have children. Eirlys holds the baby, while pregnant again. Elves scurry about. They are at the North Pole.
Nick receives a text: Peoria is in trouble. Next Christmas? Isabella questions his interest because he’s no longer a vampire. But he has mad Santa skills. She wonders if it was mad Santa skills that disappeared the Superintendent. He suggests that they drag the lake. Maybe they’ll get lucky. Isabella asks Nick, Why the 12 Days? When a town is on the cusp of going evil, they need a purging. It's not so much those being killed, but the investigation that follows that does it.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From new life to understanding
• Essence: The cycle of renewal
• Conflict: Past methods vs. future hope
• Subtext: The balance of dark and light
• Hope/Fear: Hope for a better world, fear of old habits
58: EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT (EPILOGUE) Kozlov, shattered, walks the cold, rainy streets. A child without a coat huddles under a bush. He calls out to Kozlov, now looking a little like Santa in the odd light. He says he's lost, cold, and hungry and wants help. Kozlov wraps the kid in his coat, surprised he knows where the kid lives, takes him home. The parents invite him in for an Epiphany Eve dinner.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From despair to hope
• Essence: The possibility of redemption
• Conflict: Old nature vs. new choice
• Subtext: The power of a single act
• Hope/Fear: Hope for change, fear of backsliding
: INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT (EPILOGUE) The Day 1 victim, now a vampire, reads an article about the 12 Days of Christmas "Attacks". As he reads, he morphs into a vampire.
[Scene Requirements]
• Scene Arc: From victim to predator
• Essence: The cyclical nature of evil
• Conflict: Past innocence vs. new darkness
• Subtext: The perpetuation of suffering
• Hope/Fear: Hope he might resist, fear he'll continue the cycle

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Intriguing Moments
VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.
What I learned: This one had amazing breakthroughs. I’d finished the assignment and came up with a better ending. I used AI to see how that impacts not only the intriguing moments but any holes in the transition between scenes or acts. So many choices. I would put in a suggestion and retest to see if anything new popped up. It did.
BEAT SHEET – DRAFT 6
ALTERNATE TITLE: VAMPIRE SANTA: THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
Act 1: Old Ways
• ***Day 1
• Nick PJ1: Opening: Nicholas Samichlaus, aka Santa Claus and a centuries-old vampire, struggles with bloodlust intensified during Christmas.
• Dawn approaches. Santa delivers toys. Asks Eirlys for a drink. She’s run out. He soldiers on. She says that the night is over. Come back next year. Santa pleads for one more, a sick child. Eirlys begs him to stop. You know what will happen.
• Collapses at the child’s house, uses his waning powers to attract a drug-addled boy, her brother. He feeds. Rejuvenated, he delivers to the young girl sleeping by the tree.
NOTE: Whenever the vampire takes over, his face distorts almost like in Buffy.
• When Nicholas collapses, needing blood Eirlys doesn’t have, Eirlys’s distress reveals her deep fear of losing another friend to darker forces.
• Nick PJ2: Demonstrates Santa magic to enter buildings, candy cane always in hand.
• Santa grabs Eirlys, taps his nose, flies away through the ceiling, a candy cane lies on the bed next to still alive brother. Apologizes to Eirlys. Says the boy didn’t deserve that. He hates that his cravings control him. Would do anything to stop.
• Eirlys points out that the 12 Days have started. She’ll be here soon. We don’t have to stay in one town. Nick: points out that he lives for the hunt. Eirlys: Or hunter.
• Inciting Incident: Interpol Agent Isabella Clarke investigates “12 Days of Christmas” vampire attacks.
• Isabella, a crossbow with a wooden bolt aimed at a Man. Her phone dings. The text reads: 12 Days started. City – Crimson North. She fires the bolt, penetrates the Man’s back, he collapses, dead. She turns, strolls away.
• Isabella AJ1: Isabella checks in with the local police, a hardened, no-nonsense demeanor, clearly carrying emotional baggage from her tragic past. Hates Christmas. Desk Sergeant hands her a FedEx envelope. Stands before a cork board with pictures of missing children from the area. Opens the envelope, it’s her as a child with two adults.
• Isabella wished a Merry Christmas at the police station. She says tell that to the victim. Examines photos. Sees the candy cane. There!
• At the hospital with the victim’s family, the little girl tells her that Santa provided the toy. Says her parents couldn’t afford it. They concur that it wasn’t from them. She says Santa ate the cookies and milk. The dad signals that it was him.
• Interview terrified townsfolk about the bizarre “12 Days of Christmas” vampire attacks
• Isabella enters a church, unfamiliar with the experience. Lights a candle, places the photo of her and the two adults. She wonders who the adults are. They are her race and her parents growing up were a different race.
• ***Day 2
• Nick PJ3a: Isabella AJ2: Turning Point: Nicholas and Isabella meet at a crime scene, sparking romance. He introduces himself as a Toy Designer, he bets she’s Interpol. Surprised.
• At the victim’s house, no evidence other than the candy cane. Neighbors hang out. Nick mingles in with them. They lock eyes. A little Santa magic (wave of the hand) and Isabella approaches.
• Kozlov, watches Nicholas charm the townspeople, attempts to mimic his appeal but fails, revealing his deep-seated envy of Nicholas’s Santa-derived power to be loved despite his vampiric nature. Tries to charm a woman, fails. Child runs from him. Tries a Santa laugh, children cringe.
• Isabella questions his health, looks tired. Nick glances at the setting sun. More Santa magic, the sun sets. A snap of the fingers, time freezes, Nick checks the neighbors, all in the nice category. He walks the street, enters an apartment building, a man frozen in mid-swing at a woman. Nick unfreezes the man, feeds. Nick heals the woman’s bruised face. Nick dances to Isabella. No longer looking tired.
• Nick unfreezes time, gives a ho-ho-ho. Isabella frowns.
• Isabella AJ3: Nick PJ3b: Nicholas gives a Santa laugh. She questions his appropriateness, his looks. Says it’s the candy cane.
• Nick PJ 3aa: Isabella AJ4: Nicholas disappears, returns. Unexplained time lapse. She asked when did it get dark out.
• Nick PJ4: Children charismatically attracted to him. He passes out candy canes, an unlimited supply.
• Neighborhood children gather around. Nick hands them candy canes. Isabella asks for one. Tells Nick she’ll eat it later.
• Bury her growing feelings as she trails Nicholas as the prime suspect
• A police call comes in, the wife beater is dead. Nick offers to walk her to the crime scene. A policeman tries to keep him out. Magiced. Nick goes to the wife, tells her about her future. Wishes her well. Isabella watches him in action, mesmerized.
Act 2: Embracing the Old Ways
• ***Day 3
• Nick PJ5: New Plan: Elf Eirlys warns Nicholas his romance leads to tragedy, he ignores her.
• Nick follows the police down the street, Eirlys joins him, yanks him behind a bush. Accuses him of repeating the tragedy of Christmas 1814. Tells her he’s just playing. Nothing will happen.
• Isabella AJ4: Whenever Nicholas talks to her about toy designing, she is mesmerized and forgets about vampires.
• Isabella asks a policeman to have forensics analyze her candy cane and the one next to victim one and two.
• As Isabella questions Nick about his whereabouts, he tells her about the joy of making toys. It’s Santa magic. She’s mesmerized. He offers her an ancient, homemade toy with the initials N.S.. When asked he says the initials must be a coincidence. When he stops talking, a crowd of children sit at his feet. Eirlys makes eye contact, nods. Nick begs off, joins Eirlys.
• At lunch, Eirlys eats a massive meal. Nick has hot chocolate and pie. As Eirlys slows down, she pulls out a folder of pictures and details about the teens, three boys, two girls. Nick marks them with a “naughty” as he scrolls through their pictures. Says that the leader will be last. Eirlys says that they are just kids and don’t deserve to die. Everyone is responsible for their own actions.
• Eirlys drives Nick in her Mini Cooper on the outside, a big sleigh on the inside. They tour the hangout of the teens. The teens work for the school superintendent fixing games. The teens offer sex/money for the fix. Fight Club.
• Nick inquires of Eirlys if she gives her approval and that this meets the requirements for the 12 Days of Christmas.
• Flashback: The first 12 Days attacks. Santa flies into a small town, is robbed by town thugs who steal his bag giving them unlimited access to toys. They plan on reselling them. Santa sends for a replacement bag. After the deliveries, Santa returns, takes out all 12 men in the gang, one after another, creating fear and panic in the criminal community. At the end, the Sheriff drafted a force of farmers/business owners who mopped up the extended crime network. Peace and prosperity follows.
• (continue from before the flashback) One of the girls meets with basketball player. Gives him cash and sex. He throws a close game. The Team goes out to commensurate their loss. Afterwards, the Player meets with the Teen leader, gets paid. Nick as Santa waits. As the Teen leader walks away, Santa as Nick attacks the Player.
• ***Day 4
• A doorbell cam picks up the two. Isabella questions the Teen leader. Nothing to hold him.
• Before the picnic, Nick slips away, the Teen gang meets in an abandoned store. Nick grabs one of the boys taking a leak. He’s gone. Nick rushes to lunch.
• Nick arranges a picnic in the park. The weather is spring-like. He presents her with a snow globe. The house is the house she grew up in. Nick Santa laughs, makes light of it. A moment of pure excitement for Isabella. His thoughtfulness and magical abilities create a perfect date. Isabella says she loved that house. How did he know? I loved growing up there and I love my parents. But sometimes… sometimes it was like I didn’t exist to them.
• Isabella admits that she is searching for a vampire. Nick laughs it off, becomes serious. Wants to know why. Isabella only gives a hint at her backstory.
• ***Day 5
• Nick PJ6: Plan in Action: Nicholas manipulates crimes scenes and witnesses, conceals vampirism from Isabella. He demonstrates Santa magic like time slowing and glamouring. Victims smell like candy.
• Nick kicks back on a park bench, a child pulls on his sleeve, points at the candy canes in his pocket. He hands her and her friends each a cane and a Christmas-y toy. They hug him, run off. Kozlov sits beside him. Kozlov accuses Nicholas of betraying vampire-kind for his Santa role, only to be driven back by Nicholas’s candy cane sword, empowered by children’s love.
• Nick shows up at the Teen Gang’s hideout, magically wipes all fingerprints from the building, manipulates the memory of the teens. They suddenly don’t remember anything, even what they just told the police.
• Eirlys signals to Nick. As Nick leaves, he offers to meet Isabella for lunch tomorrow. At first, she refuses, a little Santa magic, she cheerfully says yes. Isabella questions her sanity.
• Nick joins Eirlys. Eirlys tells Nick he’s off his plan and he needs to focus. Eirlys tells him he doesn’t have to kill them all. Reminds her that he doesn’t have control. She says that words out that Kozlov is in town.
• Nick confesses to Eirlys that he’s in love with Isabella. Asks her to help him prevent a Christmas 1814.
• Nick goes for a jog. The Teen girls hang out at one of the girl’s house. The two girls wonder if the Superintendent will ever give them their freedom. (they were trafficked) Depressed at the loss of one of their own. Nick enters. One dead. One bit but alive.
• ***Day 6
• Nick shows up at the crime scene, ostensibly to take her to lunch. Isabella begs off. He gets a brief from Isabella. Surprises Nick that one girl survived.
• Nick goes to the hospital, disguised as a respiratory technician, the girl does not recognize him. He finishes her off, takes her half full bag of blood with him.
• While Nick is at the hospital, Kozlov arrives at the crime scene, says he’s a P.I.. Takes Isabella off to the side, asks her outright if she is chasing a vampire, and asks if it has been six attacks since this is the sixth day of Christmas. He describes Nick. Doesn’t believe Kozlov.
• Isabella AJ5: Kozlov, secret identity as a P.I. provides clues to Isabella of Nicholas’ vampirism. Asks if there are unexplained time lapses, confused crime scene reports, Nick showing up without notice. She says he’s just interested in her. Kozlov, asks, is it for his dinner.
• Nick PJ7: Midpoint Turning Point: Romance grows. Ice skating interrupted by Kozlov’s appearance. Isabella tries to query Nick, the questions deflected. When Kozlov arrives, Nick stops time. Kozlov orders him to leave Crimson North. Literal. Nick must leave but immediately returns. Kozlov says he will permanently ban Nick from town. Reminds him that his “(Santa) duties” override his orders. Kozlov storms off.
• Unaware of what happened but influenced by it, Isabella opens up about her parents and being pulled from the burning house by Santa – she laughs, says at least someone dressed as Santa. Nick: Maybe it’s for the best. We would have never met without their deaths. But, what happened to you (in the subsequent fire) is unforgiveable.
• Nick Santa magics Isabella to an old workshop in the woods. She doesn’t realize that she has been transported many miles away. In the workshop are many ancient homemade toys. There is one labeled Christmas 1814. The tiny people inside are Nick and another woman.
• Isabella gets the call about Girl 2. Isabella AJ6: Isabella reveals orders to kill the vampire.
Act 3: Transition
• ***Day 7
• Nick PJ8: Rethink Everything: Eirlys warns Nick that any romance with Isabella will lead to tragedy. Your magic won’t allow it. Your sire won’t allow it. She says she’ll support his decision, no matter what.
• Eirlys consoles Nick. Suggests picking up and going to another town. He says he can’t because he loves her, Christmas 1814 or not. He asks her for help. Don’t let him lose control.
• Flashback: Series of shots showing Nick wooing a woman, he tries to give up being a vampire, fails, she witnesses it. Nick kills her and escapes.
• Isabella tries to follow him. He allows it except when he needs to skip out.
• Nick PJ9: Eirlys drives Nick in her car, advises him to reveal that he’s Santa. She drops him off at Teen 4 shooting hoops in his backyard.
• Teen 4 attacked, dead.
• Isabella’s rental car mysteriously breaks. Eirlys picks her up, offers her a hot chocolate from a thermos. Isabella unloads on her dilemma. How can she kill the man she loves. Rage overcomes her. How could he do this to her, to those innocent people? Eirlys drops her off at her car. Convinces her that it is fixed. Eirlys has magic.
• Sitting behind the wheel, she tells herself that she has to kill him even if she loves him
• ***Day 8
• Nick PJ10: New Plan: Nicholas decides to reveal his vampiric nature to Isabella but will withhold he’s Santa but unconsciously sabotages the latter.
• Isabella arrives at the diner, Nick, a large plate of pancakes, donuts, ice cream, syrup and jam on everything. A pitcher of milk. She sits next to him, a pot of coffee in her hand, grabs one of his donuts.
• Isabella says she’s never heard of vampires who eat food. He can’t be the vampire.
• Says that Teen 5 is in protective custody. Asks about Eirlys. Her car was seen at the site. She asks him to tell her that he’s not the vampire. He gives a sad smile. Says he’s sorry. It’s not what he wants.
• Nick, using Santa tricks, shows up in the Superintendent’s office. Glamours him to tell him about his illegal activities. Learns of fight club tonight. Takes a tiny feed. Disappears. Supe doesn’t know what happened to his neck. (Plug in some Supe references earlier.)
• Nick finds a secret door, enters as only Santa can. Filing cabinets, cork boards, white boards. Labels of: Sold, Hooking, Prospects. Random looks. Mostly girls but also boys.
• At fight club: Nick robs all the money, destroys it. Vamps on Supe. Flies his body in Eirlys’ Mini Cooper/sleigh, drops him in a lake/ocean/river.
• ***Day 9
• A riot ensues among those who lost their money. Supe is given up by the bettors. Can’t be found.
• Kozlov at the crime scene. Says no one will ever find Supe. Not all vampires leave bodies behind. Isabella says it’s not a vampire crime, just your normal crime. Super took off with the money. While examining the scene, an anonymous text arrives: More than just children are on the naughty list.
• Nick sits on a bench before a Nativity scene, Isabella joins him. She admits that she’s never felt being part of a family. But now… As she professes her love for him, Kozlov appears.
• Isabella AJ6: Turning Point: Kozlov exposes Nicholas as the killer of her parents and the one responsible for her inability to have children.
• Isabella AJ7: Isabella has a flashback of Nicholas’ Santa laugh at her parents’ death and a flashback of the earlier crime scene where Nick Santa laughed. Isabella says she hates Nick and will kill him.
• Nick P11: Nick prepares to battle Kozlov, knowing he cannot kill his sire, but hopes to discourage him.
• Eirlys warns Nick to stay away from Isabella and Kozlov. He tells her he cannot. Asks her to be strong for the new The Santa.
• He walks the bad streets. Looks for an opportunity. I man jumps out at him with a gun. Gives him a Santa laugh, sniffs him. Tells him he stinks and not worth the effort. The man shoots him in the back. Nick stumbles, turns into scary vampire, attacks him on the street. Rips his head off, jams the gun into his neck cavity.
• Nick slumps, full vampire face. Eirlys approaches. He attacks her, bites her neck. Eirlys, calm, calls out to Nick to “come back to me.” As she fades, Nick realizes his mistake, hugs her apologizingly.
• After Nicholas’s brutal kill, Kozlov tries to exploit his inner conflict, arguing that the Santa role is a delusion masking his true monstrous self. Nick says he’s learning to control it. Kozlov points out he just yanked a man’s head off. Nick says that he wasn’t using it.
Act 4: New Ways
• ***Day 10
• Nick says he has something to do. Isabella begs him to stay. He takes out Teen Leader reluctantly. Hates himself for it.
• Isabella in her rental, drives for hours, stops at a burnt-out house, the house she grew up in. Everything has been destroyed, burnt, or stolen except an unwrapped candy cane in perfect shape hanging from one of the surviving structures, a closet door. On the mantel, is the framed family picture, perfectly preserved, that she received early in Act 1.
• Kozlov attacks Isabella, takes a taste. Laughs at Nick. Taunts him because he knows that Nick cannot harm him. Offers to let her go if he relinquishes The Santa role. Nick says he can’t. Kozlov throws her in a cage in the back of his truck.
• Nick PJ12: Climax: Nicholas battles Kozlov, channeling love, Christmas magic, and vampiric abilities.
• Nick calls on his North Pole team, a sleigh pulled by reindeer arrives loaded with elves armed with toy-like weapons. They fight, only irritating Kozlov. Two female elves comfort Isabella who in turn, comforts them as it looks like Nick will not succeed.
• Nick PJ13: As he fights, he morphs into Santa then vampire and back, attracting children from all around. Children help Santa.
• Kozlov grabs a kid. The kid screams. Kozlov flashes back toto a centuries-old memory of Kozlov as a human father, trying to save his child from marauders.
• Nick tries to stab Kozlov with a spike to the chest, fails. As Kozlov prepares to feed on the child, Nick stakes himself, dies.
• Kozlov surprised he won, stares off at his reflection in a store’s window, his reflection fades from vampire to human and back.
• Isabella tries to rush to Nick, Kozlov grabs her, says that she is his, now.
• A glow forms around Nick. Children rush in, hug him.
• Nick, full on Santa mode, wakes, a weak ho, ho, ho. The kids scream. Isabella cries. Nick points out that Santa magic is stronger than vampire magic. He just didn’t know that. Nicholas’s victory isn’t just over Kozlov, but over the very notion that his vampiric nature defines him. His success comes from embracing his chosen identity fully, showing that the love he’s earned as Santa transcends any power bestowed by his vampire lineage.
• Santa magics the kids so they don’t remember the fight but do remember Santa and his elves. He gives them all toys.
• ***Day 11 & 12
• Isabella A9: Deeper Layer: Nicholas reveals that he had no control over his urges so he only fed on “the naughty”. Isabella asks about her parents. Nicholas tells her that her parents embezzled money from the orphanage that they ran, depriving children of what could have been a much better life. She asks if that is why she is a hunter? Because she is flawed like her parents. He says she was trafficked, and her real parents are still alive.)
• Nick receives a text: Peoria is in trouble. Next Christmas? Isabella questions his interest because he’s no longer a vampire. But he has mad Santa skills. She wonders if it was mad Santa skills that disappeared the Superintendent. He suggests that they drag the lake. Maybe they’ll get lucky.
• Isabella AJ10: Nicholas offers to grant her a Christmas wish. She asks for a child. A little Santa magic and Isabella feels the change. She reminds him that it takes two to parent.
• Nick PJ15: Isabella AJ11: Epilog: Christmas magic cures Isabella’s inability to have children. Eirlys holds the baby, while pregnant again. Elves scurry about. They are at the North Pole.
• Eirlys tells them that the Office of The Santa is now secure for many generations.
• Isabella asks Nick, Why the 12 Days? When a town is on the cusp of going evil, they need a purging. It’s not so much the victims being killed, but the investigation that follows that does it. This has worked for centuries. (500 years ago England) Isabella tells him to report these towns to Interpol. She has an in. He only feeds directly on humans during those 12 days, the rest of the year is blood banks and reindeer blood. Rarely has an innocent been harmed. Rarely?
• Kozlov, shattered, walks the cold, rainy streets. A child without a coat huddles under a bush. He calls out to Kozlov, now looking a little like Santa in the odd light. He says he’s lost, cold, and hungry and wants help. Kozlov wraps the kid in his coat, surprised he knows where the kid lives, takes him home. The parents invite him in for an Epiphany Eve dinner.
• The Day 1 victim, now a vampire, reads an article about the 12 Days of Christmas “Attacks”. As he reads, he morphs into a vampire.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Emotional Moments
VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.
What I learned: The AI didn’t provide much new insight until I asked it to provide antagonist-specific emotional moments that reflected on the antag’s feelings, not the protag’s.
BEAT SHEET – DRAFT 5
ALTERNATE TITLE: VAMPIRE SANTA: THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
Act 1: Old Ways
• ***Day 1
• Nick PJ1: Opening: Nicholas Samichlaus, aka Santa Claus and a centuries-old vampire, struggles with bloodlust intensified during Christmas.
• Dawn approaches. Santa delivers toys. Asks Eirlys for a drink. She’s run out. He soldiers on. She says that the night is over. Come back next year. Santa pleads for one more, a sick child.
• Collapses at the child’s house, uses his waning powers to attract a drug-addled boy, her brother. He feeds. Rejuvenated, he delivers to the young girl sleeping by the tree.
NOTE: Whenever the vampire takes over, his face distorts almost like in Buffy.
• When Nicholas collapses, needing blood Eirlys doesn't have, Eirlys's distress reveals her deep fear of losing another friend to darker forces.
• Nick PJ2: Demonstrates Santa magic to enter buildings, candy cane always in hand.
• Santa grabs Eirlys, taps his nose, flies away through the ceiling, a candy cane lies on the bed next to still alive brother. Apologizes to Eirlys. Says the boy didn’t deserve that. He hates that his cravings control him. Would do anything to stop.
• Inciting Incident: Interpol Agent Isabella Clarke investigates "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks.
• Isabella, a crossbow with a wooden bolt aimed at a Man. Her phone dings. The text reads: 12 Days started. City – Crimson North. She fires the bolt, penetrates the Man’s back, he collapses, dead. She turns, strolls away.
• Isabella AJ1: Isabella checks in with the local police, a hardened, no-nonsense demeanor, clearly carrying emotional baggage from her tragic past. Hates Christmas.
• Isabella wished a Merry Christmas at the police station. She says tell that to the victim. Examines photos. Sees the candy cane. There!
• At the hospital with the victim’s family, the little girl tells her that Santa provided the toy. Says her parents couldn’t afford it. They concur that it wasn’t from them. She says Santa ate the cookies and milk. The dad signals that it was him.
• Interview terrified townsfolk about the bizarre "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks
• ***Day 2
• Nick PJ3a: Isabella AJ2: Turning Point: Nicholas and Isabella meet at a crime scene, sparking romance. He introduces himself as a Toy Designer, he bets she’s Interpol. Surprised.
• At the victim’s house, no evidence other than the candy cane. Neighbors hang out. Nick mingles in with them. They lock eyes. A little Santa magic (wave of the hand) and Isabella approaches.
• Kozlov, watches Nicholas charm the townspeople, attempts to mimic his appeal but fails, revealing his deep-seated envy of Nicholas's Santa-derived power to be loved despite his vampiric nature. Tries to charm a woman, fails. Child runs from him. Tries a Santa laugh, children cringe.
• Isabella questions his health, looks tired. Nick glances at the setting sun. More Santa magic, the sun sets. A snap of the fingers, time freezes, Nick checks the neighbors, all in the nice category. He walks the street, enters an apartment building, a man frozen in mid-swing at a woman. Nick unfreezes the man, feeds. Nick heals the woman’s bruised face. Nick dances to Isabella. No longer looking tired.
• Nick unfreezes time, gives a ho-ho-ho. Isabella frowns.
• Isabella AJ3: Nick PJ3b: Nicholas gives a Santa laugh. She questions his appropriateness, his looks. Says it’s the candy cane.
• Nick PJ 3aa: Isabella AJ4: Nicholas disappears, returns. Unexplained time lapse. She asked when did it get dark out.
• Nick PJ4: Children charismatically attracted to him. He passes out candy canes, an unlimited supply.
• Neighborhood children gather around. Nick hands them candy canes. Isabella asks for one. Tells Nick she’ll eat it later.
• Bury her growing feelings as she trails Nicholas as the prime suspect
• A police call comes in, the wife beater is dead. Nick offers to walk her to the crime scene. A policeman tries to keep him out. Magiced. Nick goes to the wife, tells her about her future. Wishes her well. Isabella watches him in action, mesmerized.
Act 2: Embracing the Old Ways
• ***Day 3
• Nick PJ5: New Plan: Elf Eirlys warns Nicholas his romance leads to tragedy, he ignores her.
• Nick follows the police down the street, Eirlys joins him, yanks him behind a bush. Accuses him of repeating the tragedy of Christmas 1814. Tells her he’s just playing. Nothing will happen.
• Isabella AJ4: Whenever Nicholas talks to her about toy designing, she is mesmerized and forgets about vampires.
• Isabella asks a policeman to have forensics analyze her candy cane and the one next to victim one and two.
• As Isabella questions Nick about his whereabouts, he tells her about the joy of making toys. It’s Santa magic. She’s mesmerized. When he stops talking, a crowd of children sit at his feet. Eirlys makes eye contact, nods. Nick begs off, joins Eirlys.
• At lunch, Eirlys eats a massive meal. Nick has hot chocolate and pie. As Eirlys slows down, she pulls out a folder of pictures and details about the teens, three boys, two girls. Nick identifies them with a “naughty” as he scrolls through their pictures. Says that the leader will be last.
• Eirlys drives Nick in her Mini Cooper on the outside, a big sleigh on the inside. They tour the hangout of the teens. The teens work for the school superintendent fixing games. The teens offer sex/money for the fix. Fight Club.
• Nick inquires of Eirlys if this meets the requirements for the 12 Days of Christmas.
• Flashback: The first 12 Days attacks. Santa flies into a small town, is robbed by town thugs who steal his bag giving them unlimited access to toys. They plan on reselling them. Santa sends for a replacement bag. After the deliveries, Santa returns, takes out all 12 men in the gang, one after another, creating fear and panic in the criminal community. At the end, the Sheriff drafted a force of farmers/business owners who mopped up the extended crime network. Peace and prosperity follows.
• (continue from before the flashback) One of the girls meets with basketball player. Gives him cash and sex. He throws a close game. The Team goes out to commensurate their loss. Afterwards, the Player meets with the Teen leader, gets paid. Nick as Santa waits. As the Teen leader walks away, Santa as Nick attacks the Player.
• ***Day 4
• A doorbell cam picks up the two. Isabella questions the Teen leader. Nothing to hold him.
• Before the picnic, Nick slips away, the Teen gang meets in an abandoned store. Nick grabs one of the boys taking a leak. He’s gone. Nick rushes to lunch.
• Nick arranges a picnic in the park. The weather is spring-like. He presents her with a snow globe. The house is the house she grew up in. Nick Santa laughs, makes light of it. A moment of pure excitement for Isabella. His thoughtfulness and magical abilities create a perfect date.
• Isabella admits that she is searching for a vampire. Nick laughs it off, becomes serious. Wants to know why. Isabella only gives a hint at her backstory.
• ***Day 5
• Nick PJ6: Plan in Action: Nicholas manipulates crimes scenes and witnesses, conceals vampirism from Isabella. He demonstrates Santa magic like time slowing and glamouring. Victims smell like candy.
• Nick kicks back on a park bench, a child pulls on his sleeve, points at the candy canes in his pocket. He hands her and her friends each a cane and a Christmas-y toy. They hug him, run off. Kozlov sits beside him. Kozlov accuses Nicholas of betraying vampire-kind for his Santa role, only to be driven back by Nicholas's candy cane sword, empowered by children's love.
• Nick shows up at the Teen Gang’s hideout, magically wipes all fingerprints from the building, manipulates the memory of the teens. They suddenly don’t remember anything, even what they just told the police.
• Eirlys signals to Nick. As Nick leaves, he offers to meet Isabella for lunch tomorrow. At first, she refuses, a little Santa magic, she cheerfully says yes. Isabella questions her sanity.
• Nick joins Eirlys. Eirlys tells Nick he’s off his plan and he needs to focus. Eirlys tells him he doesn’t have to kill them all. Reminds her that he doesn’t have control. She says that words out that Kozlov is in town.
• Nick confesses to Eirlys that he’s in love with Isabella. Asks her to help him prevent a Christmas 1814.
• Nick goes for a jog. The Teen girls hang out at one of the girl’s house. Depressed at the loss of one of their own. Nick enters. One dead. One bit but alive.
• ***Day 6
• Nick shows up at the crime scene, ostensibly to take her to lunch. Isabella begs off. He gets a brief from Isabella. Surprises Nick that one girl survived.
• Nick goes to the hospital, disguised as a respiratory technician, the girl does not recognize him. He finishes her off, takes her half full bag of blood with him.
• While Nick is at the hospital, Kozlov arrives at the crime scene, says he’s a P.I.. Takes Isabella off to the side, asks her outright if she is chasing a vampire, and asks if it has been six attacks since this is the sixth day of Christmas. He describes Nick. Doesn’t believe Kozlov.
• Isabella AJ5: Kozlov, secret identity as a P.I. provides clues to Isabella of Nicholas’ vampirism. Asks if there are unexplained time lapses, confused crime scene reports, Nick showing up without notice. She says he’s just interested in her. Kozlov, asks, is it for his dinner.
• Nick PJ7: Midpoint Turning Point: Romance grows. Ice skating interrupted by Kozlov’s appearance. Isabella tries to query Nick, the questions deflected. When Kozlov arrives, Nick stops time. Kozlov orders him to leave Crimson North. Literal. Nick must leave but immediately returns. Kozlov says he will permanently ban Nick from town. Reminds him that his “(Santa) duties” override his orders. Kozlov storms off.
• Unaware of what happened but influenced by it, Isabella opens up about her parents and being pulled from the burning house by Santa – she laughs, says at least someone dressed as Santa.
• Isabella gets the call about Girl 2.
• Isabella AJ6: Isabella reveals orders to kill the vampire.
Act 3: Transition
• ***Day 7
• Nick PJ8: Rethink Everything: Eirlys warns Nick that any romance with Isabella will lead to tragedy. Your magic won’t allow it. Your sire won’t allow it. She says she’ll support his decision, not matter what.
• Eirlys consoles Nick. Suggests picking up and going to another town. He says he can’t because he loves her, Christmas 1814 or not. He asks her for help. Don’t let him lose control.
• Flashback: Series of shots showing Nick wooing a woman, he tries to give up being a vampire, fails, she witnesses it. Nick kills her and escapes.
• Isabella tries to follow him. He allows it except when he needs to skip out.
• Nick PJ9: Eirlys drives Nick in her car, advises him to reveal that he’s Santa. She drops him off at Teen 4 shooting hoops in his backyard.
• Teen 4 attacked, dead.
• Isabella’s rental car mysteriously breaks. Eirlys picks her up, offers her a hot chocolate from a thermos. Isabella unloads on her dilemma. How can she kill the man she loves. Rage overcomes her. How could he do this to her, to those innocent people? Eirlys drops her off at her car. Convinces her that it is fixed. Eirlys has magic.
• Sitting behind the wheel, she tells herself that she has to kill him even if she loves him
• ***Day 8
• Nick PJ10: New Plan: Nicholas decides to reveal his vampiric nature to Isabella but will withhold he’s Santa but unconsciously sabotages the latter.
• Isabella arrives at the diner, Nick, a large plate of pancakes, donuts, ice cream, syrup and jam on everything. A pitcher of milk. She sits next to him, a pot of coffee in her hand, grabs one of his donuts.
• Isabella says she’s never heard of vampires who eat food. He can’t be the vampire.
• Says that Teen 5 is in protective custody. Asks about Eirlys. Her car was seen at the site. She asks him to tell her that he’s not the vampire. He gives a sad smile. Says he’s sorry. It’s not what he wants.
• Nick, using Santa tricks, shows up in the Superintendent’s office. Glamours him to tell him about his illegal activities. Learns of fight club tonight. Takes a tiny feed. Disappears. Supe doesn’t know what happened to his neck. (Plug in some Supe references earlier.)
• At fight club: Nick robs all the money, destroys it. Vamps on Supe. Flies his body in Eirlys’ Mini Cooper/sleigh, drops him in a lake/ocean/river.
• ***Day 9
• A riot ensues among those who lost their money. Supe is given up by the bettors. Can’t be found.
• Kozlov at the crime scene. Says no one will ever find Supe. Not all vampires leave bodies behind. Isabella says it’s not a vampire crime, just your normal crime. Supe took off with the money. Asks if he knows where Nick is.
• Nick sits on a bench before a Nativity scene, Isabella joins him. As she professes her love for him, Kozlov appears.
• Isabella AJ6: Turning Point: Kozlov exposes Nicholas as the killer of her parents and the one responsible for her inability to have children.
• Isabella AJ7: Isabella has a flashback of Nicholas’ Santa laugh at her parents’ death and a flashback of the earlier crime scene where Nick Santa laughed. Isabella says she hates Nick and will kill him.
• Nick P11: Nick prepares to battle Kozlov, knowing he cannot kill his sire, but hopes to discourage him.
• Eirlys warns Nick to stay away from Isabella and Kozlov. He tells her he cannot. Asks her to be strong for the new The Santa.
• He walks the bad streets. Looks for an opportunity. I man jumps out at him with a gun. Gives him a Santa laugh, sniffs him. Tells him he stinks and not worth the effort. The man shoots him in the back. Nick stumbles, turns into scary vampire, attacks him on the street. Rips his head off, jams the gun into his neck cavity.
• Nick slumps, full vampire face. Eirlys approaches. He attacks her, bites her neck. Eirlys, calm, calls out to Nick to “come back to me.” As she fades, Nick realizes his mistake, hugs her apologizingly.
• After Nicholas's brutal kill, Kozlov tries to exploit his inner conflict, arguing that the Santa role is a delusion masking his true monstrous self. Nick says he’s learning to control it. Kozlov points out he just yanked a man’s head off. Nick says that he wasn’t using it.
Act 4: New Ways
• ***Day 10
• (expand on Isabella/Nick relationship)
• Nick says he has something to do. Isabella begs him to stay. He takes out Teen Leader reluctantly. Hates himself for it.
• Kozlov attacks Isabella, takes a taste. Laughs at Nick. Taunts him because he knows that Nick cannot harm him. Offers to let her go if he relinquishes The Santa role. Nick says he can’t. Kozlov throws her in a cage in the back of his truck.
• Nick PJ12: Climax: Nicholas battles Kozlov, channeling love, Christmas magic, and vampiric abilities.
• Nick calls on his North Pole team, a sleigh pulled by reindeer arrives loaded with elves armed with toy-like weapons. They fight, only irritating Kozlov. Two female elves comfort Isabella who in turn, comforts them as it looks like Nick will not succeed.
• Nick PJ13: As he fights, he morphs into Santa then vampire and back, attracting children from all around. Children help Santa.
• Kozlov grabs a kid. Nick tries to stab Kozlov with a spike to the chest, fails. As Kozlov prepares to feed on the child, Nick stakes himself, dies.
• Kozlov surprised he won. Isabella tries to rush to Nick, Kozlov grabs her, says that she is his, now.
• A glow forms around Nick. Children rush in, hug him.
• Nick, full on Santa mode, wakes, a weak ho, ho, ho. The kids scream. Isabella cries. Nick points out that Santa magic is stronger than vampire magic. He just didn’t know that. Nicholas's victory isn't just over Kozlov, but over the very notion that his vampiric nature defines him. His success comes from embracing his chosen identity fully, showing that the love he's earned as Santa transcends any power bestowed by his vampire lineage.
• Santa magics the kids so they don’t remember the fight but do remember Santa and his elves. He gives them all toys.
• ***Day 11 & 12
• Isabella A9: Deeper Layer: Nicholas reveals that he had no control over his urges so he only fed on “the naughty”. Isabella asks about her parents. Nicholas says that they were deserving and promises to tell her someday.
• Isabella AJ10: Nicholas offers to grant her a Christmas wish. She asks for a child. A little Santa magic and Isabella feels the change. She reminds him that it takes two to parent.
• Nick PJ15: Isabella AJ11: Epilog: Christmas magic cures Isabella’s inability to have children. Eirlys holds the baby, while pregnant again. Elves scurry about. They are at the North Pole.
• Eirlys tells them that the Office of The Santa is now secure for many generations.
• Isabella asks Nick, Why the 12 Days? When a town is on the cusp of going evil, they need a purging. It’s not so much the victims being killed, but the investigation that follows that does it. This has worked for centuries. (500 years ago England) Isabella tells him to report these towns to Interpol. She has an in. He only feeds directly on humans during those 12 days, the rest of the year is blood banks and reindeer blood. Rarely has an innocent been harmed. Rarely?
• Kozlov, shattered, walks the cold, rainy streets. A child without a coat huddles under a bush. He calls out to Kozlov, now looking a little like Santa in the odd light. He says he’s lost, cold, and hungry and wants help. Kozlov wraps the kid in his coat, surprised he knows where the kid lives, takes him home. The parents invite him in for an Epiphany Eve dinner.
• The Day 1 victim, now a vampire, makes his first kill.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Reveals
VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.
What I learned: Multiple breakthroughs while going back to the early lessons and seeing what I forgot.
BEAT SHEET – DRAFT 4
ALTERNATE TITLE: VAMPIRE SANTA: THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
Act 1: Old Ways
• ***Day 1
• Nick PJ1: Opening: Nicholas Samichlaus, aka Santa Claus and a centuries-old vampire, struggles with bloodlust intensified during Christmas.
• Dawn approaches. Santa delivers toys. Asks Eirlys for a drink. She’s run out. He soldiers on. Collapses at a house, uses his waning powers to attract a drug-addled boy. He feeds. Rejuvenated, he delivers to a young girl sleeping by the tree. Whenever the vampire takes over, his face distorts almost like in Buffy.
• Nick PJ2: Demonstrates Santa magic to enter buildings, candy cane always in hand.
• Santa grabs Eirlys, taps his nose, flies away through the ceiling, a candy cane lies on the bed next to still alive brother. Apologizes to Eirlys. Says the boy didn’t deserve that. He hates that his cravings control him. Would do anything to stop.
• Inciting Incident: Interpol Agent Isabella Clarke investigates "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks.
• Isabella, a crossbow with a wooden bolt aimed at a Man. Her phone dings. The text reads: 12 Days started. City – Crimson North. She fires the bolt, penetrates the Man’s back, he collapses, dead. She turns, strolls away.
• Isabella AJ1: Isabella checks in with the local police, a hardened, no-nonsense demeanor, clearly carrying emotional baggage from her tragic past. Hates Christmas.
• Isabella wished a Merry Christmas at the police station. She says tell that to the victim. Examines photos. Sees the candy cane. There!
• At the hospital with the victim’s family, the little girl tells her that Santa provided the toy. Says her parents couldn’t afford it. They concur that it wasn’t from them. She says Santa ate the cookies and milk. The dad signals that it was him.
• Interview terrified townsfolk about the bizarre "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks
• ***Day 2
• Nick PJ3a: Isabella AJ2: Turning Point: Nicholas and Isabella meet at a crime scene, sparking romance. He introduces himself as a Toy Designer, he bets she’s Interpol. Surprised.
• At the victim’s house, no evidence other than the candy cane. Neighbors hang out. Nick mingles in with them. They lock eyes. A little Santa magic (wave of the hand) and Isabella approaches.
• Isabella questions his health, looks tired. Nick glances at the setting sun. More Santa magic, the sun sets. A snap of the fingers, time freezes, Nick checks the neighbors, all in the nice category. He walks the street, enters an apartment building, a man frozen in mid-swing at a woman. Nick unfreezes the man, feeds. Nick heals the woman’s bruised face. Nick dances to Isabella. No longer looking tired.
• Nick unfreezes time, gives a ho-ho-ho. Isabella frowns.
• Isabella AJ3: Nick PJ3b: Nicholas gives a Santa laugh. She questions his appropriateness, his looks. Says it’s the candy cane.
• Nick PJ 3aa: Isabella AJ4: Nicholas disappears, returns. Unexplained time lapse. She asked when did it get dark out.
• Nick PJ4: Children charismatically attracted to him. He passes out candy canes, an unlimited supply.
• Neighborhood children gather around. Nick hands them candy canes. Isabella asks for one. Tells Nick she’ll eat it later.
• Bury her growing feelings as she trails Nicholas as the prime suspect
• A police call comes in, the wife beater is dead. Nick offers to walk her to the crime scene. A policeman tries to keep him out. Magiced. Nick goes to the wife, tells her about her future. Wishes her well. Isabella watches him in action, mesmerized.
Act 2: Embracing the Old Ways
• ***Day 3
• Nick PJ5: New Plan: Elf Eirlys warns Nicholas his romance leads to tragedy, he ignores her.
• Nick follows the police down the street, Eirlys joins him, yanks him behind a bush. Accuses him of repeating the tragedy of Christmas 1814. Tells her he’s just playing. Nothing will happen.
• Isabella AJ4: Whenever Nicholas talks to her about toy designing, she is mesmerized and forgets about vampires.
• Isabella asks a policeman to have forensics analyze her candy cane and the one next to victim one and two.
• As Isabella questions Nick about his whereabouts, he tells her about the joy of making toys. It’s Santa magic. She’s mesmerized. When he stops talking, a crowd of children sit at his feet. Eirlys makes eye contact, nods. Nick begs off, joins Eirlys.
• At lunch, Eirlys eats a massive meal. Nick has hot chocolate and pie. As Eirlys slows down, she pulls out a folder of pictures and details about the teens, three boys, two girls. Nick identifies them with a “naughty” as he scrolls through their pictures. Says that the leader will be last.
• Eirlys drives Nick in her Mini Cooper on the outside, a big sleigh on the inside. They tour the hangout of the teens. The teens work for the school superintendent fixing games. The teens offer sex/money for the fix. Fight Club.
• Nick inquires of Eirlys if this meets the requirements for the 12 Days of Christmas.
• Flashback: The first 12 Days attacks. Santa flies into a small town, is robbed by town thugs who steal his bag giving them unlimited access to toys. They plan on reselling them. Santa sends for a replacement bag. After the deliveries, Santa returns, takes out all 12 men in the gang, one after another, creating fear and panic in the criminal community. At the end, the Sheriff drafted a force of farmers/business owners who mopped up the extended crime network. Peace and prosperity follows.
• (continue from before the flashback) One of the girls meets with basketball player. Gives him cash and sex. He throws a close game. The Team goes out to commensurate their loss. Afterwards, the Player meets with the Teen leader, gets paid. Nick as Santa waits. As the Teen leader walks away, Santa as Nick attacks the Player.
• ***Day 4
• A doorbell cam picks up the two. Isabella questions the Teen leader. Nothing to hold him.
• Before the picnic, Nick slips away, the Teen gang meets in an abandoned store. Nick grabs one of the boys taking a leak. He’s gone. Nick rushes to lunch.
• Nick arranges a picnic in the park. The weather is spring-like. He presents her with a snow globe. The house is the house she grew up in. Nick Santa laughs, makes light of it.
• Isabella admits that she is searching for a vampire. Nick laughs it off, becomes serious. Wants to know why. Isabella only gives a hint at her backstory.
• ***Day 5
• Nick PJ6: Plan in Action: Nicholas manipulates crimes scenes and witnesses, conceals vampirism from Isabella. He demonstrates Santa magic like time slowing and glamouring. Victims smell like candy.
• Nick shows up at the Teen Gang’s hideout, magically wipes all fingerprints from the building, manipulates the memory of the teens. They suddenly don’t remember anything, even what they just told the police.
• Eirlys signals to Nick. As Nick leaves, he offers to meet Isabella for lunch tomorrow. At first, she refuses, a little Santa magic, she cheerfully says yes. Isabella questions her sanity.
• Nick joins Eirlys. Eirlys tells Nick he’s off his plan and he needs to focus. Eirlys tells him he doesn’t have to kill them all. Reminds her that he doesn’t have control. She says that words out that Kozlov is in town.
• Nick confesses to Eirlys that he’s in love with Isabella. Asks her to help him prevent a Christmas 1814.
• Nick goes for a jog. The Teen girls hang out at one of the girl’s house. Depressed at the loss of one of their own. Nick enters. One dead. One bit but alive.
• ***Day 6
• Nick shows up at the crime scene, ostensibly to take her to lunch. Isabella begs off. He gets a brief from Isabella. Surprises Nick that one girl survived.
• Nick goes to the hospital, disguised as a respiratory technician, the girl does not recognize him. He finishes her off, takes her half full bag of blood with him.
• While Nick is at the hospital, Kozlov arrives at the crime scene, says he’s a P.I.. Takes Isabella off to the side, asks her outright if she is chasing a vampire, and asks if it has been six attacks since this is the sixth day of Christmas. He describes Nick. Doesn’t believe Kozlov.
• Isabella AJ5: Kozlov, secret identity as a P.I. provides clues to Isabella of Nicholas’ vampirism. Asks if there are unexplained time lapses, confused crime scene reports, Nick showing up without notice. She says he’s just interested in her. Kozlov, asks, is it for his dinner.
• Nick PJ7: Midpoint Turning Point: Romance grows. Ice skating interrupted by Kozlov’s appearance. Isabella tries to query Nick, the questions deflected. When Kozlov arrives, Nick stops time. Kozlov orders him to leave Crimson North. Literal. Nick must leave but immediately returns. Kozlov says he will permanently ban Nick from town. Reminds him that his “(Santa) duties” override his orders. Kozlov storms off.
• Unaware of what happened but influenced by it, Isabella opens up about her parents and being pulled from the burning house by Santa – she laughs, says at least someone dressed as Santa.
• Isabella gets the call about Girl 2.
• Isabella AJ6: Isabella reveals orders to kill the vampire.
Act 3: Transition
• ***Day 7
• Nick PJ8: Rethink Everything: Nicholas, shaken by Isabella’s orders, reckons with his lies and bloodlust.
• Eirlys consoles Nick. Suggests picking up and going to another town. He says he can’t because he loves her, Christmas 1814 or not.
• Flashback: Series of shots showing Nick wooing a woman, he tries to give up being a vampire, fails, she witnesses it. Nick kills her and escapes.
• Isabella tries to follow him. He allows it except when he needs to skip out.
• Nick PJ9: Eirlys drives Nick in her car, advises him to reveal that he’s Santa. She drops him off at Teen 4 shooting hoops in his backyard.
• Teen 4 attacked, dead.
• Isabella’s rental car mysteriously breaks. Eirlys picks her up, offers her a hot chocolate from a thermos. Isabella unloads on her dilemma. How can she kill the man she loves. Rage overcomes her. How could he do this to her, to those innocent people? Eirlys drops her off at her car. Convinces her that it is fixed. Eirlys has magic.
• Sitting behind the wheel, she tells herself that she has to kill him even if she loves him
• ***Day 8
• Nick PJ10: New Plan: Nicholas decides to reveal his vampiric nature to Isabella but will withhold he’s Santa but unconsciously sabotages the latter.
• Isabella arrives at the diner, Nick, a large plate of pancakes, donuts, ice cream, syrup and jam on everything. A pitcher of milk. She sits next to him, a pot of coffee in her hand, grabs one of his donuts.
• Isabella says she’s never heard of vampires who eat food. He can’t be the vampire.
• Says that Teen 5 is in protective custody. Asks about Eirlys. Her car was seen at the site. She asks him to tell her that he’s not the vampire. He gives a sad smile. Says he’s sorry. It’s not what he wants.
• Nick, using Santa tricks, shows up in the Superintendent’s office. Glamours him to tell him about his illegal activities. Learns of fight club tonight. Takes a tiny feed. Disappears. Supe doesn’t know what happened to his neck. (Plug in some Supe references earlier.)
• At fight club: Nick robs all the money, destroys it. Vamps on Supe. Flies his body in Eirlys’ Mini Cooper/sleigh, drops him in a lake/ocean/river.
• ***Day 9
• A riot ensues among those who lost their money. Supe is given up by the bettors. Can’t be found.
• Kozlov at the crime scene. Says no one will ever find Supe. Not all vampires leave bodies behind. Isabella says it’s not a vampire crime, just your normal crime. Supe took off with the money. Asks if he knows where Nick is.
• Isabella AJ6: Turning Point: Kozlov exposes Nicholas as the killer of her parents and the one responsible for her inability to have children.
• Isabella AJ7: Isabella has a flashback of Nicholas’ Santa laugh at her parents’ death and a flashback of the earlier crime scene where Nick Santa laughed.
• Nick P11: Nick prepares to battle Kozlov, knowing he cannot kill his sire, but hopes to discourage him.
• Eirlys warns Nick to stay away from Isabella and Kozlov. He walks the bad streets. Looks for an opportunity. I man jumps out at him with a gun. Gives him a Santa laugh, sniffs him. Tells him he stinks and not worth the effort. The man shoots him in the back. Nick stumbles, turns into scary vampire, attacks him on the street. Rips his head off, jams the gun into his neck cavity. As Nick walks away, the bullet pops out.
Act 4: New Ways
• ***Day 10
• (expand on Isabella/Nick relationship)
• Nick says he has something to do. Isabella begs him to stay. He takes out Teen Leader reluctantly. Hates himself for it.
• Kozlov attacks Isabella, takes a taste. Laughs at Nick. Taunts him because he knows that Nick cannot harm him. Offers to let her go if he relinquishes The Santa role. Nick says he can’t. Kozlov throws her in a cage in the back of his truck.
• Nick PJ12: Climax: Nicholas battles Kozlov, channeling love, Christmas magic, and vampiric abilities.
• Nick calls on his North Pole team, a sleigh pulled by reindeer arrives loaded with elves armed with toy-like weapons. They fight, only irritating Kozlov. Two female elves comfort Isabella who in turn, comforts them as it looks like Nick will not succeed.
• Nick PJ13: As he fights, he morphs into Santa then vampire and back, attracting children from all around. Children help Santa.
• Kozlov grabs a kid. Nick tries to stab Kozlov with a spike to the chest, fails. As Kozlov prepares to feed on Isabella, Nick stakes himself, dies.
• Kozlov surprised he won. Too many kids around, releases Isabella who rushes to Nick, hugs him.
• Nick, full on Santa mode, wakes, a weak ho, ho, ho. The kids screams. Isabella cries. Nick points out that Santa magic is stronger than vampire magic. He just didn’t know that.
• Santa magics the kids so they don’t remember the fight but do remember Santa and his elves. He gives them all toys.
• ***Day 11 & 12
• Isabella A9: Deeper Layer: Nicholas reveals that he had no control over his urges so he only fed on “the naughty”. Isabella asks about her parents. Nicholas says that they were deserving and promises to tell her someday.
• Isabella AJ10: Nicholas offers to grant her a Christmas wish. She asks for a child. A little Santa magic and Isabella feels the change. She reminds him that it takes two to parent.
• Nick PJ15: Isabella AJ11: Epilog: Christmas magic cures Isabella’s inability to have children. Eirlys holds the baby, while pregnant again. Elves scurry about. They are at the North Pole.
• Eirlys tells them that the Office of The Santa is now secure for many generations.
• Isabella asks Nick, Why the 12 Days? When a town is on the cusp of going evil, they need a purging. It’s not so much the victims being killed, but the investigation that follows that does it. This has worked for centuries. (500 years ago England) Isabella tells him to report these towns to Interpol. She has an in. He only feeds directly on humans during those 12 days, the rest of the year is blood banks and reindeer blood. Rarely has an innocent been harmed. Rarely?
• The Day 1 victim, now a vampire, makes his first kill.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Character Action Tracks
VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.
What I learned: This technique helped ramp up the second character Isabella significantly. It even improved the main lead.
Added Character Actions:
NICHOLAS:
Act 1:
Struggle visibly with immense thirst and bloodlust after his arduous Christmas Eve toy delivery, revealing his vampiric nature
Lure an unsuspecting victim and feed on their blood in a horrific yet seemingly supernatural way after depleting his energy
Have an internal moral crisis wrestling with his vampiric urges and desire to remain the benevolent Santa figure
Act 2:
Set up festive Christmas scenes and clues that seem warm/inviting but carry dark undertones of his vampirism
Give Isabella a meaningful sentimental gift representing his feelings for her despite his deceptive ways
Confide in his elf confidante Eirlys about his moral struggle and growing feelings for the human woman hunting him
Act 3:
Leave behind overwhelming evidence of both his vampire and Santa identities for Isabella to discover
Have a heartfelt conversation with Isabella where he nearly reveals his dual nature before being interrupted
Act 4:
None.
ISABELLA:
Act 1:
• Arrive in Crimson North with a hardened, no-nonsense demeanor, clearly carrying emotional baggage from her tragic past
• Interview terrified townsfolk about the bizarre "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks
• Bury her growing feelings as she trails Nicholas as the prime suspect
Act 2:
• Become increasingly torn between her professional instincts and blossoming feelings for Nicholas
• Open up to Nicholas about her parents' death, lowering her emotional walls
Act 3:
• Struggle with having to betray and kill the man she's fallen for to fulfill her duty
• Have all her suppressed rage toward the supernatural resurface, redirecting her anger at Nicholas
• Decide she must bury her feelings and follow orders to destroy the vampire Nicholas
Act 4:
• Have her childhood Christmas wonder be restored by the realization Santa was real all along
BEAT SHEET – DRAFT 3
Act 1: Old Ways
• ***Day 1
• Nick PJ1: Opening: Nicholas Samichlaus, aka Santa Claus and a centuries-old vampire, struggles with bloodlust intensified during Christmas.
• Dawn approaches. Santa delivers toys. Asks Eirlys for a drink. She’s run out. He soldiers on. Collapses at a house, uses his waning powers to attract a drug-addled boy. He feeds. Rejuvenated, he delivers to a young girl sleeping by the tree. Whenever the vampire takes over, his face distorts almost like in Buffy.
• Nick PJ2: Demonstrates Santa magic to enter buildings, candy cane always in hand.
• Santa grabs Eirlys, taps his nose, flies away through the ceiling, a candy cane lies on the bed next to still alive brother. Apologizes to Eirlys. Says the boy didn’t deserve that.
• Inciting Incident: Interpol Agent Isabella Clarke investigates "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks.
• Isabella sits on a parked plane waiting for news of the first vampire attack. It comes in. She takes off for Crimson North.
• Isabella AJ1: Isabella checks in with the local police, a hardened, no-nonsense demeanor, clearly carrying emotional baggage from her tragic past
• Isabella wished a Merry Christmas at the police station. She says tell that to the victim. Examines photos. Sees the candy cane. There!
• At the hospital with the victim’s family, the little girl tells her that Santa provided the toy. Says her parents couldn’t afford it. They concur that it wasn’t from them. She says Santa ate the cookies and milk. The dad signals that it was him.
• Interview terrified townsfolk about the bizarre "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks
• ***Day 2
• Nick PJ3a: Isabella AJ2: Turning Point: Nicholas and Isabella meet at a crime scene, sparking romance. He introduces himself as a Toy Designer, he bets she’s Interpol. Surprised.
• At the victim’s house, no evidence other than the candy cane. Neighbors hang out. Nick mingles in with them. They lock eyes. A little Santa magic (wave of the hand) and Isabella approaches.
• Isabella questions his health, looks tired. Nick glances at the setting sun. More Santa magic, the sun sets. A snap of the fingers, time freezes, Nick checks the neighbors, all in the nice category. He walks the street, enters an apartment building, a man frozen in mid-swing at a woman. Nick unfreezes the man, feeds. Nick heals the woman’s bruised face. Nick dances to Isabella. No longer looking tired.
• Nick unfreezes time, gives a ho-ho-ho. Isabella frowns.
• Isabella AJ3: Nick PJ3b: Nicholas gives a Santa laugh. She questions his appropriateness, his looks. Says it’s the candy cane.
• Nick PJ 3aa: Isabella AJ4: Nicholas disappears, returns. Unexplained time lapse. She asked when did it get dark out.
• Nick PJ4: Children charismatically attracted to him. He passes out candy canes, an unlimited supply.
• Neighborhood children gather around. Nick hands them candy canes. Isabella asks for one. Tells Nick she’ll eat it later.
• Bury her growing feelings as she trails Nicholas as the prime suspect
• A police call comes in, the wife beater is dead. Nick offers to walk her to the crime scene. A policeman tries to keep him out. Magiced. Nick goes to the wife, tells her about her future. Wishes her well. Isabella watches him in action, mesmerized.
Act 2: Embracing the Old Ways
• ***Day 3
• Nick PJ5: New Plan: Elf Eirlys warns Nicholas his romance leads to tragedy, he ignores her.
• Nick follows the police down the street, Eirlys joins him, yanks him behind a bush. Accuses him of repeating the tragedy of Christmas 1814. Tells her he’s just playing. Nothing will happen.
• Isabella AJ4: Whenever Nicholas talks to her about toy designing, she is mesmerized and forgets about vampires.
• Isabella asks a policeman to have forensics analyze her candy cane and the one next to victim one and two.
• As Isabella questions Nick about his whereabouts, he tells her about the joy of making toys. It’s Santa magic. She’s mesmerized. When he stops talking, a crowd of children sit at his feet. Eirlys makes eye contact, nods. Nick begs off, joins Eirlys.
• At lunch, Eirlys eats a massive meal. Nick has hot chocolate and pie. As Eirlys slows down, she pulls out a folder of pictures and details about the teens, three boys, two girls. Nick identifies them with a “naughty” as he scrolls through their pictures. Says that the leader will be last.
• Eirlys drives Nick in her Mini Cooper on the outside, a big sleigh on the inside. They tour the hangout of the teens. The teens work for the school superintendent fixing games. The teens offer sex/money for the fix. Fight Club.
• One of the girls meets with basketball player. Gives him cash and sex. He throws a close game. The Team goes out to commensurate their loss. Afterwards, the Player meets with the Teen leader, gets paid. Nick as Santa waits. As the Teen leader walks away, Santa as Nick attacks the Player.
• ***Day 4
• A doorbell cam picks up the two. Isabella questions the Teen leader. Nothing to hold him.
• Before the picnic, Nick slips away, the Teen gang meets in an abandoned store. Nick grabs one of the boys taking a leak. He’s gone. Nick rushes to lunch.
• Nick arranges a picnic in the park. The weather is spring-like. He presents her with a snow globe. The house is the house she grew up in. Nick Santa laughs, makes light of it.
• Isabella admits that she is searching for a vampire. Nick laughs it off, becomes serious. Wants to know why. Isabella only gives a hint at her backstory.
• ***Day 5
• Nick PJ6: Plan in Action: Nicholas manipulates crimes scenes and witnesses, conceals vampirism from Isabella. He demonstrates Santa magic like time slowing and glamouring. Victims smell like candy.
• Nick shows up at the Teen Gang’s hideout, magically wipes all fingerprints from the building, manipulates the memory of the teens. They suddenly don’t remember anything, even what they just told the police.
• Eirlys signals to Nick. As Nick leaves, he offers to meet Isabella for lunch tomorrow. At first, she refuses, a little Santa magic, she cheerfully says yes. Isabella questions her sanity.
• Nick joins Eirlys. Eirlys tells Nick he’s off his plan and he needs to focus. Eirlys tells him he doesn’t have to kill them all. Reminds her that he doesn’t have control. She says that words out that Kozlov is in town.
• Nick confesses to Eirlys that he’s in love with Isabella. Asks her to help him prevent a Christmas 1814.
• Nick goes for a jog. The Teen girls hang out at one of the girl’s house. Depressed at the loss of one of their own. Nick enters. One dead. One bit but alive.
• ***Day 6
• Nick shows up at the crime scene, ostensibly to take her to lunch. Isabella begs off. He gets a brief from Isabella. Surprises Nick that one girl survived.
• Nick goes to the hospital, disguised as a respiratory technician, the girl does not recognize him. He finishes her off, takes her half full bag of blood with him.
• While Nick is at the hospital, Kozlov arrives at the crime scene, says he’s a P.I.. Takes Isabella off to the side, asks her outright if she is chasing a vampire, and asks if it has been six attacks since this is the sixth day of Christmas. He describes Nick. Doesn’t believe Kozlov.
• Isabella AJ5: Kozlov, secret identity as a P.I. provides clues to Isabella of Nicholas’ vampirism. Asks if there are unexplained time lapses, confused crime scene reports, Nick showing up without notice. She says he’s just interested in her. Kozlov, asks, is it for his dinner.
• Nick PJ7: Midpoint Turning Point: Romance grows. Ice skating interrupted by Kozlov’s appearance. Isabella tries to query Nick, the questions deflected. When Kozlov arrives, Nick stops time. Kozlov orders him to leave Crimson North. Literal. Nick must leave but immediately returns. Kozlov says he will permanently ban Nick from town. Reminds him that his “(Santa) duties” override his orders. Kozlov storms off.
• Unaware of what happened but influenced by it, Isabella opens up about her parents and being pulled from the burning house by Santa – she laughs, says at least someone dressed as Santa.
• Isabella gets the call about Girl 2.
• Isabella AJ6: Isabella reveals orders to kill the vampire.
Act 3: Transition
• ***Day 7
• Nick PJ8: Rethink Everything: Nicholas, shaken by Isabella’s orders, reckons with his lies and bloodlust.
• Eirlys consoles Nick. Suggests picking up and going to another town. He says he can’t because he loves her, Christmas 1814 or not.
• Flashback: Series of shots showing Nick wooing a woman, he tries to give up being a vampire, fails, she witnesses it. Nick kills her and escapes.
• Isabella tries to follow him. He allows it except when he needs to skip out.
• Nick PJ9: Eirlys drives Nick in her car, advises him to reveal that he’s Santa. She drops him off at Teen 4 shooting hoops in his backyard.
• Teen 4 attacked, dead.
• Isabella’s rental car mysteriously breaks. Eirlys picks her up, offers her a hot chocolate from a thermos. Isabella unloads on her dilemma. How can she kill the man she loves. Rage overcomes her. How could he do this to her, to those innocent people? Eirlys drops her off at her car. Convinces her that it is fixed. Eirlys has magic.
• Sitting behind the wheel, she tells her herself that she has to kill him even if she loves him
• ***Day 8
• Nick PJ10: New Plan: Nicholas decides to reveal his vampiric nature to Isabella but will withhold he’s Santa but unconsciously sabotages the latter.
• Isabella arrives at the diner, Nick, a large plate of pancakes, donuts, ice cream, syrup and jam on everything. A pitcher of milk. She sits next to him, a pot of coffee in her hand.
• Isabella says she’s never heard of vampires who eat food. He can’t be the vampire.
• Says that Teen 5 is in protective custody. Asks about Eirlys. Her car was seen at the site. She asks him to tell her that he’s not the vampire. He gives a sad smile. Says he’s sorry. Gets up and leaves.
• Nick, using Santa tricks, shows up in the Superintendent’s office. Glamours him to tell him about his illegal activities. Learns of fight club tonight. Takes a tiny feed. Disappears. Supe doesn’t know what happened to his neck. (Plug in some Supe references earlier.)
• At fight club: Nick robs all the money, destroys it. Vamps on Supe. Flies his body in Eirlys’ Mini Cooper/sleigh, drops him in a lake/ocean/river.
• ***Day 9
• A riot ensues among those who lost their money. Supe is given up by the bettors. Can’t be found.
• Kozlov at the crime scene. Says no one will ever find Supe. Not all vampires leave bodies behind. Isabella says it’s not a vampire crime, just your normal crime. Supe took off with the money. Asks if he knows where Nick is.
• Isabella AJ6: Turning Point: Before Nicholas can reveal his vampirism, Kozlov exposes Nicholas as the killer of her parents and the one responsible for her inability to have children.
• Isabella AJ7: Isabella has a flashback of Nicholas’ Santa laugh at her parents’ death and a flashback of the earlier crime scene where Nick Santa laughed.
• Nick P11: Nick prepares to battle Kozlov, knowing he cannot kill his sire, but hopes to discourage him.
• Eirlys warns Nick to stay away from Isabella and Kozlov. He walks the bad streets. Looks for an opportunity. I man jumps out at him with a gun. Gives him a Santa laugh, sniffs him. Tells him he stinks and not worth the effort. The man shoots him in the back. Nick stumbles, turns into scary vampire, attacks him on the street. Rips his head off, jams the gun into his neck cavity.
Act 4: New Ways
• ***Day 10
• (expand on Isabella/Nick relationship)
• Nick says he has something to do. Isabella begs him to stay. He takes out Teen Leader reluctantly. Hates himself for it.
• Kozlov attacks Isabella (minor attack). Laughs at Nick. Taunts him because he knows that Nick cannot harm him. Nick tries anyway.
• Nick PJ12: Climax: Nicholas battles Kozlov, channeling love, Christmas magic, and vampiric abilities.
• Nick calls on his North Pole team, a sleigh pulled by reindeer arrives loaded with elves armed with toy-like weapons. They fight, only irritating Kozlov. Two female elves comfort Isabella who in turn, comforts them as it looks like Nick when not succeed.
• Nick PJ13: As he fights, he morphs into Santa then vampire and back, attracting children from all around. Children help Santa.
• Kozlov grabs a kid. Nick tries to stab Kozlov with a spike to the chest, the kid helps. It bends just missing the heart. Kozlov lumbers off. Santa magics the kids so they don’t remember the fight but do remember Santa and his elves. He gives them all small toys.
• Nick heals Isabella. She hugs him. Begs him to give up being a vampire. He doesn’t know if he can. She wonders if she can help break his tie to Kozlov.
• ***Day 11 & 12
• Nick PJ14: Resolution: Nicholas extends his Christmas magic to protect the children.
• Isabella AJ8: Now aware Nicholas is Santa and Kozlov reveals he is a vampire, Isabella stabs Kozlov, breaking Nicholas’ curse.
• Nick PJ14a: Nicholas, now unincumbered by Kozlov’s power over him, uses magic to purge his vampirism, fully encompassing the new Santa and human protector.
• Isabella A9: Deeper Layer: Nicholas reveals that he only fed on “the naughty”. Isabella asks about her parents. Nicholas says that they were deserving and promises to tell her someday.
• Isabella AJ10: Nicholas offers to grant her a Christmas wish. She asks for a child. A little Santa magic and Isabella feels the change.
• Nick PJ15: Isabella AJ11: Epilog: Christmas magic cures Isabella’s inability to have children. She holds twins, while pregnant again. Elves scurry about. They are at the North Pole.
• The Day 1 victim, now a vampire, makes his first kill.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s New Outline Beats!
VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.
What I learned: I had a bunch of holes throughout Act 2 that needed filling. Asking what needed to be here and what set it up helped.
BEAT SHEET – DRAFT 2
Act 1: Old Ways
• ***Day 1
• Nick PJ1: Opening: Nicholas Samichlaus, aka Santa Claus and a centuries-old vampire, struggles with bloodlust intensified during Christmas.
• Dawn approaches. Santa delivers toys. Asks Eirlys for a drink. She’s run out. Suggests a brief detour. Stops at a house, delivers to a young girl sleeping by the tree, feeds on a drug-addled brother. Eirlys rushes him along. As a vampire, his face distorts almost like in Buffy.
• Nick PJ2: Demonstrates Santa magic to enter buildings, candy cane always in hand.
• Santa grabs Eirlys, taps his nose, flies away through the ceiling, a candy cane lies on the bed next to still alive brother.
• Inciting Incident: Interpol Agent Isabella Clarke investigates "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks.
• Isabella sits on a parked plane waiting for news of the first vampire attack. It comes in. She takes off for Crimson North.
• Isabella AJ1: Isabella checks in with the local police, displays cynicism about Christmas.
• Isabella wished a Merry Christmas at the police station. She says tell that to the victim. Examines photos. Sees the candy cane. There!
• At the hospital with the victim’s family, the little girl tells her that Santa provided the toy. Says her parents couldn’t afford it. They concur that it wasn’t from them. She says Santa ate the cookies and milk. The dad signals that it was him.
• ***Day 2
• Nick PJ3a: Isabella AJ2: Turning Point: Nicholas and Isabella meet at a crime scene, sparking romance. He introduces himself as a Toy Designer, he bets she’s Interpol. Surprised.
• At the victim’s house, no evidence other than the candy cane. Neighbors hang out. Nick mingles in with them. They lock eyes. A little Santa magic (wave of the hand) and Isabella approaches.
• Isabella questions his health, looks tired. Nick glances at the setting sun. More Santa magic, the sun sets. A snap of the fingers, time freezes, Nick checks the neighbors, all in the nice category. He walks the street, enters an apartment building, a man frozen in mid-swing at a woman. Nick unfreezes the man, feeds. Nick heals the woman’s bruised face. Nick dances to Isabella. No longer looking tired.
• Nick unfreezes time, gives a ho-ho-ho. Isabella frowns.
• Isabella AJ3: Nick PJ3b: Nicholas gives a Santa laugh. She questions his appropriateness, his looks. Says it’s the candy cane.
• Nick PJ 3aa: Isabella AJ4: Nicholas disappears, returns. Unexplained time lapse. She asked when did it get dark out.
• Nick PJ4: Children charismatically attracted to him. He passes out candy canes, an unlimited supply.
• Neighborhood children gather around. Nick hands them candy canes. Isabella asks for one. Tells Nick she’ll eat it later.
• A police call comes in, the wife beater is dead. Nick offers to walk her to the crime scene. A policeman tries to keep him out. Magiced. Nick goes to the wife, tells her about her future. Wishes her well. Isabella watches him in action, mesmerized.
Act 2: Embracing the Old Ways
• ***Day 3
• Nick PJ5: New Plan: Elf Eirlys warns Nicholas his romance leads to tragedy, he ignores her.
• Nick follows the police down the street, Eirlys joins him, yanks him behind a bush. Accuses him of repeating the tragedy of Christmas 1814. Tells her he’s just playing. Nothing will happen.
• Isabella AJ4: Whenever Nicholas talks to her about toy designing, she is mesmerized and forgets about vampires.
• Isabella asks a policeman to have forensics analyze her candy cane and the one next to victim one and two.
• As Isabella questions Nick about his whereabouts, he tells her about the joy of making toys. It’s Santa magic. She’s mesmerized. When he stops talking, a crowd of children sit at his feet. Eirlys makes eye contact, nods. Nick begs off, joins Eirlys.
• At lunch, Eirlys eats a massive meal. Nick has hot chocolate and pie. As Eirlys slows down, she pulls out a folder of pictures and details about the teens, three boys, two girls. Nick identifies them with a “naughty” as he scrolls through their pictures. Says that the leader will be last.
• Eirlys drives Nick in her Mini Cooper on the outside, a big sleigh on the inside. They tour the hangout of the teens. The teens work for the school superintendent fixing games. The teens offer sex/money for the fix. Fight Club.
• One of the girls meets with basketball player. Gives him cash and sex. He throws a close game. The Team goes out to commensurate their loss. Afterwards, the Player meets with the Teen leader, gets paid. Santa was waiting. As the Teen leader walks away, Santa attacks the Player.
• ***Day 4
• A doorbell cam picks up the two. Isabella questions the Teen leader. Nothing to hold him.
• Before the picnic, Nick slips away, the Teen gang meets in an abandoned store. Nick grabs one of the boys taking a leak. He’s gone. Nick rushes to lunch.
• Nick arranges a picnic in the park. The weather is spring-like. Isabella admits that she is searching for a vampire. Nick laughs it off, becomes serious. Wants to know why. Isabella only gives a hint at her backstory.
• ***Day 5
• Nick PJ6: Plan in Action: Nicholas manipulates crimes scenes and witnesses, conceals vampirism from Isabella. He demonstrates Santa magic like time slowing and glamouring. Victims smell like candy.
• Nick shows up at the Teen Gang’s hideout, magically wipes all fingerprints from the building, manipulates the memory of the teens. They suddenly don’t remember anything, even what they just told the police.
• Eirlys signals to Nick. As Nick leaves, he offers to meet Isabella for lunch tomorrow. At first, she refuses, a little Santa magic, she cheerfully says yes. Isabella questions her sanity.
• Nick joins Eirlys. Eirlys tells Nick he’s off his plan and he needs to focus. Eirlys tells him he doesn’t have to kill them all. Reminds her that he doesn’t have control. She says that words out that Kozlov is in town.
• Nick goes for a jog. The Teen girls hang out at one of the girl’s house. Depressed at the loss of one of their own. Nick enters. One dead. One bit but alive.
• ***Day 6
• Nick shows up at the crime scene, ostensibly to take her to lunch. Isabella begs off. He gets a brief from Isabella. Surprises Nick that one girl survived.
• Nick goes to the hospital, disguised as a respiratory technician, the girl does not recognize him. He finishes her off, takes her half full bag of blood with him.
• While Nick is at the hospital, Kozlov arrives at the crime scene, says he’s a P.I.. Takes Isabella off to the side, asks her outright if she is chasing a vampire, and asks if it has been six attacks since this is the sixth day of Christmas. He describes Nick. Doesn’t believe Kozlov.
• Isabella AJ5: Kozlov, secret identity as a P.I. provides clues to Isabella of Nicholas’ vampirism. Asks if there are unexplained time lapses, confused crime scene reports, Nick showing up without notice. She says he’s just interested in her. Kozlov, asks, is it for his dinner.
• Nick PJ7: Midpoint Turning Point: Romance grows. Dining and dancing interrupted by Kozlov’s appearance. Isabella tries to query Nick, the questions deflected. Kozlov arrives, orders him to leave Crimson North. Literal. Nick leaves and immediately returns. Kozlov says he will permanently ban Nick from town. Reminds him that his “(Santa) duties” override his orders.
• Isabella gets the call about Girl 2.
• Isabella AJ6: Isabella reveals orders to kill the vampire.
Act 3: Transition
• ***Day 7
• Nick PJ8: Rethink Everything: Nicholas, shaken by Isabella’s orders, reckons with his lies and bloodlust.
• Eirlys consoles Nick. Suggests picking up and going to another town. He says he can’t because he loves her, Christmas 1814 or not.
• Flashback: Series of shots showing Nick wooing a woman, she finds out he’s a vampire. Nick kills her and escapes.
• Isabella tries to follow him. He allows it except when he needs to skip out.
• Nick PJ9: Eilrys drives Nick in her car, advises him to reveal that he’s Santa. She drops him off at Teen 4 shooting hoops in his backyard.
• Teen 4 attacked, dead.
• ***Day 8
• Nick PJ10: New Plan: Nicholas decides to reveal his vampiric nature to Isabella but will withhold he’s Santa.
• Isabella arrives at the diner, Nick, a large plate of pancakes, donuts, ice cream, syrup and jam on everything. A pitcher of milk. She sits next to him, a pot of coffee in her hand.
• Isabella says she’s never heard of vampires who eat food. She asks him why he kills. He seems so nice. Says that Teen 5 is in protective custody. Asks about Eirlys. Her car was seen at the site. She asks him to tell her that he’s not the vampire. He gives a sad smile. Says he’s sorry. Gets up and leaves.
• Nick, using Santa tricks, shows up in the Superintendent’s office. Glamours him to tell him about his illegal activities. Learns of fight club tonight. Takes a tiny feed. Disappears. Supe doesn’t know what happened to his neck. (Plug in some Supe references earlier.)
• At fight club: Nick robs all the money, destroys it. Vamps on Supe. Flies his body in Eirlys’ Mini Cooper/sleigh, drops him in a lake/ocean/river.
• ***Day 9
• A riot ensues among those who lost their money. Supe is given up by the bettors. Can’t be found.
• Kozlov at the crime scene. Says no one will ever find Supe. Not all vampires leave bodies behind. Isabella says it’s not a vampire crime, just your normal crime. Supe took off with the money. Asks if he knows where Nick is.
• Isabella AJ6: Turning Point: Before Nicholas can reveal his vampirism, Kozlov exposes Nicholas as the killer of her parents and the one responsible for her inability to have children.
• Isabella AJ7: Isabella has a flashback of Nicholas’ Santa laugh at her parents’ death and a flashback of the earlier crime scene where Nick Santa laughed.
• Nick P11: Nick prepares to battle Kozlov, knowing he cannot kill his sire, but hopes to discourage him.
• Eirlys warns Nick to stay away from Isabella and Kozlov. He walks the bad streets. Looks for an opportunity. I man jumps out at him with a gun. Gives him a Santa laugh, sniffs him. Tells him he stinks and not worth the effort. The man shoots him in the back. Nick stumbles, turns into scary vampire, attacks him on the street. Rips his head off, jams the gun into his neck cavity.
Act 4: New Ways
• ***Day 10
• Kozlov attacks Isabella (minor attack). Laughs at Nick. Taunts him because he knows that Nick cannot harm him. Nick tries anyway.
• Nick PJ12: Climax: Nicholas battles Kozlov, channeling love, Christmas magic, and vampiric abilities.
• Nick PJ13: As he fights, he morphs into Santa then vampire and back, attracting children from all around. Children help Santa.
• Kozlov grabs a kid. Nick tries to stab Kozlov with a spike to the chest, the kid helps. It bends just missing the heart. Kozlov lumbers off. Santa magics the kids so they don’t remember the fight. He gives them all small toys.
• Nick heals Isabella. She hugs him. Begs him to give up being a vampire. He doesn’t know if he can. She wonders if she can help break his tie to Kozlov.
• ***Day 11 & 12
• Nick PJ14: Resolution: Nicholas extends his Christmas magic to protect the children.
• Isabella AJ8: Now aware Nicholas is Santa and Kozlov reveals he is a vampire, Isabella stabs Kozlov, breaking Nicholas’ curse.
• Nick PJ14a: Nicholas, now unincumbered by Kozlov’s power over him, uses magic to purge his vampirism, fully encompassing the new Santa and human protector.
• Isabella A9: Deeper Layer: Nicholas reveals that he only fed on “the naughty”. Isabella asks about her parents. Nicholas says that they were deserving and promises to tell her someday.
• Isabella AJ10: Nicholas offers to grant her a Christmas wish. She asks for a child. A little Santa magic and Isabella feels the change.
• Nick PJ15: Isabella AJ11: Epilog: Christmas magic cures Isabella’s inability to have children. She holds twins, while pregnant again. Elves scurry about. They are at the North Pole.
• The Day 1 victim, now a vampire, makes his first kill.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1
VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.
What I learned: Being prepared with the earlier lessons made this process so smooth.
BEAT SHEET – DRAFT 1
Act 1: Old Ways
• Nick PJ1: Opening: Nicholas Samichlaus, aka Santa Claus and a centuries-old vampire, struggles with bloodlust intensified during Christmas.
• Nick PJ2: Demonstrates Santa magic to enter buildings, candy cane always in hand.
• Inciting Incident: Interpol Agent Isabella Clarke investigates "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks.
• Isabella AJ1: Isabella checks in with the local police, displays cynicism about Christmas.
• Nick PJ3a: Isabella AJ2: Turning Point: Nicholas and Isabella meet at a crime scene, sparking romance. He introduces himself as a Toy Designer, she as an insurance investigator.
• Isabella AJ3: Nicholas gives a Santa laugh. She questions his appropriateness.
• Nick PJ 3aa: Isabella AJ4: Nicholas disappears, returns. Unexplained time lapse.
• Nick PJ3b: Nick gives an inappropriate Santa laugh.
• Nick PJ4: Children charismatically attracted to him. He passes out candy canes, an unlimited supply.
Act 2: Embracing the Old Ways
• Nick PJ5: New Plan: Elf Eirlys warns Nicholas his romance leads to tragedy, he ignores her.
• Isabella AJ4: Whenever Nicholas talks to her about toy designing, she is mesmerized and forgets about vampires.
• Nick PJ6: Plan in Action: Nicholas manipulates crimes scenes and witnesses, conceals vampirism from Isabella. He demonstrates Santa magic like time slowing and glamouring. Victims smell like candy.
• Nick PJ7: Midpoint Turning Point: Romance grows. Dining and dancing interrupted by Kozlov’s appearance.
• Isabella AJ5: Kozlov, secret identity as a P.I. provides clues to Isabella of Nicholas’ vampirism.
• Isabella AJ6: Isabella reveals orders to kill the vampire.
Act 3: Transition
• Nick PJ8: Rethink Everything: Nicholas, shaken by Isabella’s orders, reckons with his lies and bloodlust.
• Nick PJ9: Eilrys advises him to reveal that he’s Santa.
• Nick PJ10: New Plan: Nicholas decides to reveal his vampiric nature to Isabella but will withhold he’s Santa.
• Isabella AJ6: Turning Point: Before Nicholas can reveal his vampirism, Kozlov exposes Nicholas as the killer of her parents and the one responsible for her inability to have children.
• Isabella AJ7: Isabella has a flashback of Nicholas’ Santa laugh at her parents’ death.
• Nick P11: Nick prepares to battle Kozlov, knowing he cannot kill his sire, but hopes to discourage him.
Act 4: New Ways
• Nick PJ12: Climax: Nicholas battles Kozlov, channeling love, Christmas magic, and vampiric abilities.
• Nick PJ13: As he fights, he morphs into Santa, attracting children from all around.
• Nick PJ14: Resolution: Nicholas extends his Christmas magic to protect the children.
• Isabella AJ8: Now aware Nicholas is Santa and Kozlov reveals he is a vampire, Isabella stabs Kozlov, breaking Nicholas’ curse.
• Nick PJ14a: Nicholas, now unincumbered by Kozlov’s power over him, uses magic to purge his vampirism, fully encompassing the new Santa and human protector.
• Isabella A9: Deeper Layer: Nicholas reveals that he only fed on “the naughty”. Isabella asks about her parents. Nicholas says that they were deserving and promises to tell her someday.
• Isabella AJ10: Nicholas offers to grant her a Christmas wish. She asks for a child. A little Santa magic and Isabella feels the change.
• Nick PJ15: Isabella AJ11: Epilog: Christmas magic cures Isabella’s inability to have children. She holds twins, while pregnant again. Elves scurry about. They are at the North Pole.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Deeper Layer
VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.
What I learned: So much progress in developing the characters and laying out their parallel stories. Keeping The Sixth Sense foremost in mind, helps to develop the deeper layer.
1. Each piece of the puzzle:
The main characters:
Nicholas Samichlaus, aka Santa Claus, aka The Vampire and Isabella Clark, Interpol agent, vampire hunter, love interest of Nicholas
Surface Layer: Isabella is in town because of the report of vampire attacks starting on Christmas Day. Nicholas is in town to feed on humans.
Deeper Layer: Nicholas, as Santa, attacked and killed Isabella’s parents on Christmas Day 25-30 years ago. He accidentally harmed Isabella who is traumatized by the vampire attack and her subsequent inability to have children inflicted by Santa magic.
Major Reveal: Two-part reveal. Nicholas’ rival vampire reveals to Isabella (act 3 reveal) that Nicholas is a vampire. Nicholas reveals that he is Santa during the act 4 climax when he uses Santa magic to fight his rival.
Influences Surface Story. Nicholas uses Santa magic to hide his vampire activities by slowing time, levitating, glamouring
Hints:
Nicholas disappears before each attack.
Bite marks smell of candy, may have a Santa trademark. He always has a candy cane.
Kozlov cryptically refers to Nicholas’ dual curses when he reveals the vampire.
Images on social media show a Santa-like figure at many/most crime scenes. (Nicholas could be stalking Isabella.)
Children charismatically attracted to Nicholas.
Nicholas displays uncanny skills in entering buildings.
After the vampire reveal, Isabella has a flashback of a series of shots showing Nicholas’ Santa-like laugh, Nicholas at the crime scenes.
Changes Reality: Learning that Santa is also a vampire and the reason for his longevity allows Isabella to overcome her hatred of vampires and allows her ask Santa for her wish, to have children.
2. Merging the deeper layer hints with the character journeys
Nicholas Samichlaus
Beginning: Nicholas is the charming but reclusive Santa Claus figure who is also a cursed, immortal vampire plagued by bloodlust. He displays uncanny skills in entering buildings undetected.
Inciting Incident: Interpol agent Isabella arrives to investigate the "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks committed by Nicholas due to his bloodlust, which seem to start every Christmas Day when he is in town to feed.
Turning Point 1: Despite his dual vampire/Santa nature, Nicholas feels an undeniable romantic connection to Isabella as she unknowingly investigates him. Children are charismatically attracted to Nicholas.
Act 2: Struggling between his Santa persona and vampiric urges, Nicholas continues his deception while Eirlys warns this path will lead to tragedy. He uses Santa magic like time slowing and glamours to hide his vampire activities. Bite marks on victims smell of candy and have his Santa trademark.
Turning Point 2: Just as Nicholas and Isabella's feelings grow, Kozlov exposes that Nicholas is the killer vampire she hunts, making a cryptic comment about his "ancient curses", though his Santa identity remains secret.
Act 3: Shaken by Isabella's mission to eliminate him, Nicholas considers confessing he is also Santa Claus, before Kozlov horrifically reveals just his vampirism. Isabella sees images on social media of a Santa figure at crime scenes.
Turning Point 3: Kozlov's revelation of Nicholas' vampire nature shatters Isabella's feelings. She has a flashback showing Nicholas' Santa laugh at old crime scenes. She is unaware he is also Santa as he prepares to battle Kozlov.
Act 4 Climax: Battling Kozlov on Epiphany Eve, Nicholas channels festive Christmas magic fused with his vampiric abilities.
Resolution: Breaking Kozlov's curse, Nicholas finally reveals to Isabella that he is the true Santa Claus, embracing his calling as the protective Santa figure with her. Learning he is Santa allows Isabella to overcome her vampire hatred.
Agent Isabella Clarke
Beginning: A determined Interpol agent haunted by supernatural tragedy in her childhood. She is in town investigating reports of vampire attacks starting on Christmas Day. She is cynical about Christmas.
Inciting Incident: Isabella arrives to investigate the deadly "12 Days" vampire attacks.
Turning Point 1: Isabella feels an inexplicable romantic spark with Nicholas, whom she believes is just a toy designer, even as she pursues him as a suspect. Nicholas seems to disappear before each attack.
Act 2: As feelings grow, Isabella remains oblivious to Nicholas' attempts to deceive her with his supposed toy designer persona. Nicholas always has a candy cane on him.
Turning Point 2: Just as Isabella and Nicholas connect, she learns he is the killer vampire, and shockingly, her orders are to eliminate him.
Act 3: Determined to follow her duty, Isabella prepares to take down the vampire Nicholas, until Kozlov horrifically exposes more about his true nature first. The reveal helps Isabella realize Nicholas killed her parents on Christmas 25-30 years ago when she was harmed by his Santa magic, leaving her unable to have children.
Turning Point 3: Kozlov's reveal of Nicholas' monstrosity as a vampire shatters Isabella's feelings for him and belief in Santa/Christmas.
Act 4 Climax: During the battle against Kozlov, Isabella must decide if she can overcome her hatred to spare the vampire Nicholas.
Resolution: Seeing Nicholas break his curse through an act of selfless love reveals he is the real Santa Claus, restoring Isabella's childlike wonder. Learning Santa is a vampire allows her to ask him to grant her wish of having children. She chooses to be with the human-protecting Santa.
AI PROMPT
5 New Plot Layers:
1. Nicholas is the original Santa Claus from the 4th century, cursed with vampirism as punishment for his greed, doomed to bring joy one night then feed his hunger the next.
2. The "12 Days of Christmas" killings are an ancient vampiric ritual Nicholas must perform every century to temporarily sate his bloodlust and maintain his humanity.
3. Isabella's parents were turned into vampires by Nicholas centuries ago but kept their identities secret, making Isabella an unwitting hunter of her own undead parents.
4. The conspiracy within Interpol involves a vampire cult seeking to free an ancient evil by collecting the souls of the immortals like Nicholas.
5. Nicholas' rival Vladimir is his own vampiric creation from centuries past who now seeks to usurp his master and claim dominance over the vampire world.
5 New Character Layers for Protagonist:
1. Nicholas has an estranged vampire daughter he turned centuries ago who is unaware of their connection and working against him.
2. His "toy designer" career hides his true role as the creator of iconic Christmas legends and lore over the ages to spread wonder.
3. He is the last of an ancient bloodline of immortal beings who were the inspiration for Santa Claus and must continue the legend.
4. His constant battle against the monster within is a metaphor for addiction, with each feeding plunging him into darkness he must overcome.
5. Nicholas has the ability to shapeshift, explaining his timeless appearances but also making him unsure of his true original form.
5 New Character Layers for Antagonist:
1. Isabella is a Dhampir – a half-human/half-vampire hybrid, unaware of her true supernatural heritage.
2. Her vendetta against the supernatural is motivated by misplaced guilt – she inadvertently led the vampire that killed her parents there.
3. She is descended from an ancient lineage of vampire hunters whose duty is to protect the secrecy of the immortal realm.
4. Her inability to have children stems from a vampiric curse placed on her bloodline for past transgressions against their kind.
5. Isabella's determination hides deep self-loathing – she projects her self-hatred of her own potential supernatural nature onto others.
I ran the prompt a second time against a previous prompt in order to focus the response.
5 New Plot Layers:

Nicholas was turned into a vampire by Krampus, the anti-Santa figure, as punishment for failing to live up to Christmas ideals.
The "12 Days of Christmas" killings are actually sacrifices needed to break an ancient curse that binds Nicholas' soul.
Isabella's parents were willingly turned into vampires by Nicholas after their "murder", trapped in undead form.
Crimson North was founded by Nicholas centuries ago as a sanctuary for vampires to co-exist peacefully with humans.
Interpol is actually aware of the supernatural world and uses Isabella to monitor/control Nicholas.

5 New Character Layers for Nicholas:

He is the original Santa Claus from ancient pagan times before being corrupted into a vampire.
His vampirism is slowly stripping away his Santa magic, requiring him to feed to maintain his powers.
He has a secret child from a past romance, with the bloodline key to breaking his curse.
Nicholas genuinely wishes to retire and pass on the Santa mantle, but his curse won't allow it.
He was betrayed long ago by a loved one, igniting his self-loathing and struggles with darkness.

5 New Character Layers for Isabella:

She is a reformed vampire hunter who killed her own turned parents out of mercy.
Her vendetta hides subconscious guilt over failing to save her parents from their fate.
Isabella is unknowingly the key that can break Nicholas' curse due to her strange childhood link to him.
Her determination stems from being underestimated her whole life due to her gender.
She is slowly developing a sympathetic fascination with the supernatural she was taught to destroy.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Character Structure
VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.
What I learned: I had to combine all of my character profile inputs and then get AI to compress them into a more manageable package before running this prompt. It worked amazingly well. I can see the foundation for a very decent outline.
Character Journeys:
Nicholas Samichlaus
Beginning: Nicholas is the charming but reclusive Santa Claus figure who is also a cursed, immortal vampire plagued by bloodlust.
Inciting Incident: Interpol agent Isabella arrives to investigate the "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks committed by Nicholas due to his bloodlust.
Turning Point 1: Despite his dual vampire/Santa nature, Nicholas feels an undeniable romantic connection to Isabella as she unknowingly investigates him.
Act 2: Struggling between his Santa persona and vampiric urges, Nicholas continues his deception while Eirlys warns this path will lead to tragedy.
Turning Point 2: Just as Nicholas and Isabella's feelings grow, Kozlov exposes that Nicholas is the killer vampire she hunts, though his Santa identity remains secret.
Act 3: Shaken by Isabella's mission to eliminate him, Nicholas considers confessing he is also Santa Claus, before Kozlov horrifically reveals just his vampirism.
Turning Point 3: Kozlov's revelation of Nicholas' vampire nature shatters Isabella's feelings. She is unaware he is also Santa as he prepares to battle Kozlov.
Act 4 Climax: Battling Kozlov on Epiphany Eve, Nicholas channels festive Christmas magic fused with his vampiric abilities.
Resolution: Breaking Kozlov's curse, Nicholas finally reveals to Isabella that he is the true Santa Claus, embracing his calling as the protective Santa figure with her.
Agent Isabella Clarke
Beginning: A determined Interpol agent haunted by supernatural tragedy in her childhood. She is cynical about Christmas.
Inciting Incident: Isabella arrives to investigate the deadly "12 Days" vampire attacks.
Turning Point 1: Isabella feels an inexplicable romantic spark with Nicholas, whom she believes is just a toy designer, even as she pursues him as a suspect.
Act 2: As feelings grow, Isabella remains oblivious to Nicholas' attempts to deceive her with his supposed toy designer persona.
Turning Point 2: Just as Isabella and Nicholas connect, she learns he is the killer vampire, and shockingly, her orders are to eliminate him.
Act 3: Determined to follow her duty, Isabella prepares to take down the vampire Nicholas, until Kozlov horrifically exposes more about his true nature first.
Turning Point 3: Kozlov's reveal of Nicholas' monstrosity as a vampire shatters Isabella's feelings for him and belief in Santa/Christmas.
Act 4 Climax: During the battle against Kozlov, Isabella must decide if she can overcome her hatred to spare the vampire Nicholas.
Resolution: Seeing Nicholas break his curse through an act of selfless love reveals he is the real Santa Claus, restoring Isabella's childlike wonder. She chooses to be with the human-protecting Santa.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Phone Pitch
What I learned: After doing the other pitch formats, this was fairly easy. I feel more confident in my ability to make a successful phone pitch. We’ll see.
1. Lead with high concept

2. Hi, I’m Bob Creager and I have a female special operations science fiction pilot.

3. Questions producers might ask:
What’s the budget range? Low budget $1 – $5 million

Who do you see in the main roles?
For HM1 Leisa Hunter, USN, 30:

Amber Midthunder (Legion, Prey)
Janina Gavankar (True Blood, The Morning Show)
Tati Gabrielle (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Uncharted)

For LT Sergio Diaz, USN, 30:

Manny Montana (Good Girls, Ozark)
Diego Tinoco, 1997 (On My Block, Family Guy)
Mauricio Ochmann, 1977 (A la mala, El Chema)

For Maj Lani "Sky Queen" Baal, USMC, ret., 30:

Niamh Wilson, 1997 (The Captors, Raised by Wolves)
Claudia Kim, 1985 (Avengers: Age of Ultron, The Dark Tower)
Cara Gee, 1983, (The Expanse, Red Rover)

For GySgt William "Bird Dog" Roscoe, USMC, ret. Upper 40s:

Juan Pablo Raba, 1977 (Six, Narcos)
Michael Ealy (Born 1973) – Known for roles in "Barbershop", "Think Like a Man"
Lance Gross (Born 1981) – Appeared in "House of Payne", "Crisis"
Dulé Hill (Born 1975) – Starred in "Psych", "The West Wing"

For the role of MC(SO) Constantine "Connie" Gazis, USN, ret. (Greek, upper 40s):

Zach Galifianakis (Born 1979) – Best known for "The Hangover" movies,
Constantine Maroulis (Born 1975) – Greek-American actor/singer, was in "Rock of Ages"

How many pages is the script? 58 pages

Who else has seen this? You are the first.

Why do you think this fits our company? You have had success with similar projects.

How does the movie end? The pilot ends with the reveal that her brother has been abducted by the malevolent aliens.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Pitch Fest Pitch

What I learned: Building the pitch, line-by-line is easier and more complete than the old way.

Answered in the form of the pitch:

Hi, I’m Bob Creager and I’m an optioned screenwriter. I have a Science Fiction script set in a military sub-world. My title is Rogue Warriors. It answers the question: What if the key to saving Earth lies in the hands of a rogue medic?

Budget range: 1-5 mm

Actors: It is a great role for someone like __Amber Midthunder_, maybe __Janina Gavankar_.

Acts of the story:
Act 1 Leisa forms a team of rogue warriors to rescue her brother after the Marines refuse to do so.
Act 2 The team finds alien weaponry and use it to escape.
Act 3 The team find that they are being monitored by aliens.
Act 4 The rescue of the humanitarian workers is a success, but no brother.
Act 5 Leisa is court martialed, but it is interrupted by an alien flyby and her brother contacting her saying beware.
Ending: setup/payoff The teaser shows Leisa in a court martial / the ending is that same court martial interrupted by her missing brother taking over the communications telling her to be careful as alien spacecraft buzz the base.

What have you done? I have two scripts in development, and one optioned. I have a produced podcast based on one of my screenplays.

PITCHES

Hi, I’m Bob, an optioned screenwriter with two projects in development. “Rogue Warriors” is a one-hour sci-fi series where a Navy Corpsman leads a rogue team to rescue her brother, uncovering an alien conspiracy amidst military action and extraterrestrial intrigue.

COMPS

“It’s ‘The Expanse’ meets ‘Homeland.’ Like ‘The Expanse,’ it delves into interstellar conflict and alien intrigue, but what makes it different is its focus on a female Navy Corpsman leading a rogue team, much like the intense personal and political stakes seen in ‘Homeland.'”

“It’s ‘Battlestar Galactica’ meets ‘Zero Dark Thirty.’ Like ‘Battlestar Galactica,’ it features epic space battles and alien encounters, but what makes it different is its grounded military realism and focus on a female-led covert rescue mission, similar to the intense operations in ‘Zero Dark Thirty.'”

“It’s ‘Stargate SG-1’ meets ‘The Unit.’ Like ‘Stargate SG-1,’ it explores alien worlds and advanced technologies, but what sets it apart is its gritty portrayal of a rogue special ops team, led by a determined female corpsman, reminiscent of the military precision in ‘The Unit.'”

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Query Letter
What I learned: This is a good first draft but far from perfect. It’s getting there.
I'm shopping a Science Fiction TV Pilot Rogue Warriors: renegade corpsman battles alien conspiracy.
1. Opening Hook –
How do you rescue your brother and dodge two alien races and the United States Marine Corps?
2. Synopsis
3. Request
If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script.
4. Bio –
Bob transitioned from defense contracting to screenwriting, with two projects in development.
5 Contact information

AI Results
What if the key to saving Earth lies in the hands of a rogue medic?

Leisa Hunter—rogue medic, renegade leader—watches her world shatter when her brother Nathan vanishes along with a humanitarian mission. Ignored by authorities, she takes matters into her own hands, assembling a band of ex-military misfits to uncover the truth behind his disappearance.

Loyalties tested—will Leisa's team survive betrayal and alien threats?

As Leisa delves deeper into the rescue mission, she grapples with her past and the weight of her family’s hidden secrets. Her journey is fraught with internal and external conflicts, including the revelation that her mother is a human-alien hybrid working against The Grays.

Will Leisa’s determination be enough to save her brother and Earth?

Leisa's relentless pursuit to find Nathan leads her into a web of betrayal and an impending alien invasion. She must confront her own fears and the possibility that Nathan might not want to be saved, all while the fate of Earth hangs in the balance.

Throughout the season, Leisa's journey evolves from a personal quest to a broader battle for humanity's survival. Each episode uncovers more about her family's secrets, the alien threat, and her own strength. In the final showdown, Leisa faces an impossible choice: sacrifice her brother or risk Earth's destruction. Her journey is one of self-discovery, resilience, and the fight for redemption.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Character Profiles Part 2
VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.
What I learned: I think my biggest growth came from identifying subtext, dilemma, and flaws. I’ve struggled with these in the past but seem to be grabbing them now.
CONCEPT: In the Gothic town of Crimson North, the Santa, a tormented vampire, battles his bloodlust while romancing the Interpol agent investigating his "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks.
Nicholas Samichlaus aka Santa Claus protagonist – vampire
• A. The High Concept. The magical Santa is also a vampire who struggles with his dual and opposite natures while falling in love with his pursuer.
• B. This character’s journey. Santa struggles with his ability to just barely control is bloodlust by focusing on the naughty people. As he falls in love, he chooses to magically remove the vampire curse at the loss of The Santa honor.
• C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? Who wouldn’t want to play the loved by all Jolly Ole’ St. Nick who is also the terrifying vampire of everyone’s dreams?
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story? The contrast between making children happy and killing those who grew up to be naughty.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script? We could see how he chooses his victims, watch him fall in love, see him angry, see him forgiving.
4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor? He could be delivering toys to all the “nice” kids and veer off and attack a “naughty” teen.
5. What could be this character’s emotional range. Hungry and uncaring with his need to feed; loving; a killer; the hero to some; the vengeful master to others.
6. What subtext can the actor play? The struggle between his love of making children happy and his need to feed. Always plotting one or the other.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have? With his love interest who is tasked with killing him; relationship from his friend and advisor, the elf Eirlys Snowbind; the relationship with his rival Vladimir Kozlov who wants the Santa gig.
8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented? Mysterious, quiet.
9. What could make this character special and unique? Vampire. Santa. Friend. Enemy. Lover. What else?
PROFILE:
1. Role in the Story: Antagonist, love interest, who is zealously anti-vampire
2. Age range and Description: same age as Santa appears, looks like she could be Mrs. Claus with a little more weight but still has the fighter physique under her business suit.
3. Core Traits: fighter, single-minded bordering on obsessive, protector, vigilant
4. Motivation; Want/Need: Wants a story-book family / needs to belong.
5. Wound: Her parents were killed by a vampire (Santa) and she was accidentally injured by Santa who then rescued her.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Principled, tenacious, persevering.
7. Character Subtext: He hides that he is Santa and a vampire.
8. Character Intrigue: Hides both of his identities by claiming to be a toy designer.
9. Flaw: The need to feed underlies all his actions.
10. Values: Duty, protecting the innocent
11. Character Dilemma: Drive to make children happy while also the drive to feed on the naughty.

Isabella Clarke (antagonist, Interpol Agent, love interest)
• A. The High Concept. The Interpol agent who hunts vampires.
• B. This character’s journey. An international detective pursuing serial killers who every Christmas, searches for the 12 Days of Christmas killer and as her search closes in, she finds that she has fallen in love with her primary suspect.
• C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? Tasked with taking down Santa.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story? A loner; an international crime fighter; never been in love.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script? Following the clues leading to the vampire; distracted by a love interest; possible interest by Vladimir who turns on her; going against orders and her lifetime training and motivation and save the vampire.
4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor? (possible teaser) She fights and kills a vampire.
5. What could be this character’s emotional range? Dedicated to the job; distracted by an interesting man (or two); falling in love; finding out Nick’s true nature – shattered; comes to terms with the problem; chooses love.
6. What subtext can the actor play? Childhood wonder as she learns that Santa is real mixed with her obsessive determination to eliminate all vampires.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have? With her target and future love interest. She learns from Vladimir that Santa was the one that killed her parents, burnt the house down, caused it to unknowingly collapse of her, causing the inability to have children (maybe deformed).
8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented? With her ability to get to the truth while questioning.
9. What could make this character special and unique? Biting/sarcastic wit; shares with Santa a soft spot for kids; a mature Buffy.
PROFILE:
1. Role in the Story: Antagonist, love interest, who is zealously anti-vampire
2. Age range and Description: same age as Santa appears, looks like she could be Mrs. Claus with a little more weight but still has the fighter physique under her business suit.
3. Core Traits: fighter, single-minded bordering on obsessive, protector, vigilant
4. Motivation; Want/Need: Wants a story-book family / needs to belong.
5. Wound: Her parents were killed by a vampire (Santa) and she was accidentally injured by Santa who then rescued her.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Principled, tenacious, persevering.
7. Character Subtext: vampire killed her parents / Santa saved her life
8. Character Intrigue: Witnessed the death by vampire of her parents and her near death which now prevents her from having children.
9. Flaw: Hates Christmas because her parents were killed after Christmas.
10. Values: Duty, killing vampires
11. Character Dilemma: Refuses anything to do with family / choosing to love the pro-Christmas Nicholas (Santa/vampire)
AI PROFILE
Character 1: Nicholas Samichlaus (Santa/Vampiric Protagonist)
1. Role in the Story: The main protagonist, living secretly as a vampire, struggling with his dual nature as Santa Claus and a bloodthirsty creature of the night.
2. Age range and Description: Appears as a timeless figure, but physically appears to be in his late 30s. Tall, with a commanding presence, and a haunting, yet magnetic aura.
3. Core Traits: Charismatic, Intelligent, Resourceful, Tortured
4. Motivation; Want/Need: Want = To find a balance between his vampiric existence and his yearning for a more humane life; ultimately seeking redemption. Need = Acceptance of himself and forgiveness for his past actions.
5. Wound: Cursed with vampirism centuries ago, Nicholas has endured endless years of isolation and guilt, haunted by his need to feed on humans. His inability to control his bloodlust has resulted in countless lives lost, leaving him burdened with remorse.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Despite his monstrous nature, Nicholas's internal struggle and genuine desire for redemption make him a sympathetic character. His charisma and intelligence draw others to him, despite the darkness that lurks within.
7. Character Subtext: Nicholas hides the true extent of his inner torment and the depth of his remorse from those around him, fearing rejection and condemnation. His deceptive nature stems from a desire to protect others from the darkness within him.
8. Character Intrigue: Nicholas harbors a secret plan to break free from his cursed existence as a vampire, desperate to find a way to atone for his sins and live a life of peace. However, his fear of rejection and failure drives him to conceal this plan from even those closest to him.
9. Flaw: Nicholas's internal conflict and self-loathing often lead him to sabotage his own attempts at redemption. His reluctance to fully embrace his vampiric nature and confront his past mistakes hold him back from achieving true inner peace.
10. Values: Despite his monstrous urges, Nicholas deeply values compassion, love, and the spirit of giving. He is driven by a profound sense of duty to protect the innocent, even at the cost of his own happiness.
11. Character Dilemma: Nicholas is torn between his desire for redemption and his fear of facing the consequences of his actions. He must confront his darkest impulses and accept himself fully in order to break free from the cycle of guilt and self-destruction.
Character 2: Agent Isabella Clarke (Interpol Agent/Love Interest)
1. Role in the Story: An Interpol agent tasked with investigating the "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks, who becomes entangled in a dangerous romance with Nicholas Samichlaus.
2. Age range and Description: Late 20s to early 30s, with a steely determination reflected in her piercing gaze and confident demeanor. Isabella carries herself with an air of authority, tempered by a vulnerability hidden beneath her tough exterior.
3. Core Traits: Determined, Empathetic, Brave, Intelligent
4. Motivation; Want/Need: Want = To solve the mystery of the attacks and bring justice, driven by a personal vendetta against the supernatural due to a past family tragedy. Need = To find closure for her traumatic past and learn to trust again.
5. Wound: Isabella's parents were killed by the Vampire Santa during her childhood, leaving her with deep emotional scars. She survived the attack, but was told she could never have children, a constant reminder of the loss and trauma she endured.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Isabella's empathy and determination to protect others make her a relatable and likable character. Despite her tough exterior, she struggles with inner demons and emotional wounds that readers can empathize with.
7. Character Subtext: Isabella harbors a deep-seated hatred and fear of the supernatural, stemming from the trauma of her past. She hides her vulnerability behind a facade of professionalism and detachment, fearing that others will see her weakness.
8. Character Intrigue: Isabella is driven by a secret agenda to avenge her parents' deaths and eradicate the supernatural forces responsible. Her obsessive pursuit of justice blinds her to the possibility of redemption and forgiveness, leading her down a dangerous path.
9. Flaw: Isabella's obsessive nature and inability to let go of her past trauma often cloud her judgment and drive her to extreme measures. Her single-minded focus on vengeance threatens to consume her, putting herself and others in danger.
10. Values: Isabella values justice, integrity, and protecting the innocent above all else. She is fiercely loyal to those she cares about and will stop at nothing to see justice served, even if it means sacrificing her own happiness.
11. Character Dilemma: Isabella is torn between her desire for revenge and her growing feelings for Nicholas. She must confront her own prejudices and learn to forgive in order to embrace the possibility of love and redemption. As she grapples with her conflicting emotions, she must decide whether to cling to the past or embrace a new future filled with hope and forgiveness.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Character Profiles Part 1
VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.
What I learned: Another case of taking it one line at a time and it builds on itself.
CONCEPT: In the Gothic town of Crimson North, the Santa, a tormented vampire, battles his bloodlust while romancing the Interpol agent investigating his "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks.
Nicholas Samichlaus aka Santa Claus protagonist – vampire
• A. The High Concept. The magical Santa is also a vampire who struggles with his dual and opposite natures while falling in love with his pursuer.
• B. This character’s journey. Santa struggles with his ability to just barely control is bloodlust by focusing on the naughty people. As he falls in love, he chooses to magically remove the vampire curse at the loss of The Santa honor.
• C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? Who wouldn’t want to play the loved by all Jolly Ole’ St. Nick who is also the terrifying vampire of everyone’s dreams?
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story? The contrast between making children happy and killing those who grew up to be naughty.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script? We could see how he chooses his victims, watch him fall in love, see him angry, see him forgiving.
4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor? He could be delivering toys to all the “nice” kids and veer off and attack a “naughty” teen.
5. What could be this character’s emotional range. Hungry and uncaring with his need to feed; loving; a killer; the hero to some; the vengeful master to others.
6. What subtext can the actor play? The struggle between his love of making children happy and his need to feed. Always plotting one or the other.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have? With his love interest who is tasked with killing him; relationship from his friend and advisor, the elf Eirlys Snowbind; the relationship with his rival Vladimir Kozlov who wants the Santa gig.
8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented? Mysterious, quiet.
9. What could make this character special and unique? Vampire. Santa. Friend. Enemy. Lover. What else?
PROFILE:
1. Role in the Story: Protagonist, Santa Claus, vampire, falls in love with his pursuer.
2. Age range and Description: Looks 30, blond hair and beard, slim, add 200 pounds and he would look like Santa.
3. Core Traits: Charismatic, charming, mysterious, haunted, can switch to dark in a second.
4. Motivation; Want/Need: To make people happy / to feed on humans
5. Wound: All the people who have died to feed his addiction only so he could gain the Santa powers.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Beloved, aspirational, conflicted.
Isabella Clarke (antagonist, Interpol Agent, love interest)
• A. The High Concept. The Interpol agent who hunts vampires.
• B. This character’s journey. An international detective pursuing serial killers who every Christmas, searches for the 12 Days of Christmas killer and as her search closes in, she finds that she has fallen in love with her primary suspect.
• C. The Actor Attractors for this character.
1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? Tasked with taking down Santa.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story? A loner; an international crime fighter; never been in love.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script? Following the clues leading to the vampire; distracted by a love interest; possible interest by Vladimir who turns on her; going against orders and her lifetime training and motivation and save the vampire.
4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor? (possible teaser) She fights and kills a vampire.
5. What could be this character’s emotional range? Dedicated to the job; distracted by an interesting man (or two); falling in love; finding out Nick’s true nature – shattered; comes to terms with the problem; chooses love.
6. What subtext can the actor play? Childhood wonder as she learns that Santa is real mixed with her obsessive determination to eliminate all vampires.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have? With her target and future love interest. She learns from Vladimir that Santa was the one that killed her parents, burnt the house down, caused it to unknowingly collapse of her, causing the inability to have children (maybe deformed).
8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented? With her ability to get to the truth while questioning.
9. What could make this character special and unique? Biting/sarcastic wit; shares with Santa a soft spot for kids; a mature Buffy.
PROFILE:
1. Role in the Story: Antagonist, love interest, who is zealously anti-vampire
2. Age range and Description: same age as Santa appears, looks like she could be Mrs. Claus with a little more weight but still has the fighter physique under her business suit.
3. Core Traits: fighter, single-minded bordering on obsessive, protector, vigilant
4. Motivation; Want/Need: Wants a story-book family / needs to belong.
5. Wound: Her parents were killed by a vampire (Santa) and she was accidentally injured by Santa who then rescued her.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Principled, tenacious, persevering.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Likability/Relatability/Empathy
VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.
What I learned: This was a good step in character development. I learned a lot about my main characters.
2. Brainstorm one or more ways you can present your Protagonist through each of these:
Nicholas Samichlaus a.k.a. Santa Claus (protag and anti-hero)
• Likability: As Santa, everyone loves him. He is kind to the “nice” children. He helps those deserving people in need.
• Relatability: We all want to have the effect on people that Santa has.
• Empathy: He is a vampire through no fault of his own. He is controlled by the need to feed. He works hard to fight it, directing his attacks against the “naughty.”
3. Just to get the experience, give us one or more ways that your Antagonist could be presented through each of these:
Interpol Agent Isabella Clarke (antag and love interest)
• Likability: Caring, yet unforgiving, of those who went down the wrong path.
• Relatability: Believes no one is above the law. In order to do her life’s work, she must “kiss a few toads.”
• Empathy: Bullied by her boss. Feel for her continued failure to capture the “vampire.” Is teased because she is chasing the mythical vampire.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch
What I learned: This lesson helped tremendously in preparing my pitch document.
1. Most unique: A Navy Corpsman risks her career and her life to rescue her brother from his alien abductors only to find that he was recruited in order to save the world.

2. Most interesting way to tell it:

Dilemma – Leisa must choose between following protocol and likely losing her abducted brother forever, or defy orders by launching an unsanctioned rescue risking court-martial and deadly encounters with alien captors.

Main Conflict — A highly skilled combat medic assembles a team of rogue ex-military operatives to launch an unsanctioned mission to save her brother from a malevolent alien race, while evading military pursuit and uncovering a secret interstellar war.

What’s at stake – If Leisa fails, not only will she lose her brother, but the entire human race will be doomed as the Grays achieve their goal of strip-mining Earth to extinction.

Goal / Unique Opposition – Leisa's goal is to rescue her brother from the alien Grays by allying with the Tall Whites, overcoming tangled loyalties, powerful alien technology, and an enemy bent on making Earth uninhabitable.
3. Elevator pitch
“I’m shopping a Science Fiction TV Pilot: renegade corpsman battles alien conspiracy.”
4. AI pitch
A skilled female corpsman leads a renegade covert team to rescue her brother, uncovering an extraterrestrial conspiracy that threatens Earth’s survival. (Comps: Battlestar Galactica, Stargate Universe, Extant, Helix, Aliens)

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned: Used AI to refine my course draft and that made it flow much smoother.

Synopsis First Draft:

Title: ROGUE WARRIORS

Genre: Science Fiction / Military Action

For skilled medic Leisa Hunter, the nightmare begins when her brother Nathan vanishes on a humanitarian mission. She thinks terrorists nabbed him, but the truth is way crazier – Nathan was recruited by ancient aliens called the Tall Whites to help defend Earth.

Unfortunately, a rival alien race known as the Grays got to Nathan first. Now Leisa has to assemble a crew of renegade ex-military badasses to launch an unauthorized rescue op to save her brother from the clutches of the resource-hungry Grays.

Leisa’s team of misfits gets a surprise assist from an unexpected source – her long-lost mother, who's not just alive but a human-alien hybrid working with a secret government faction allied with the Tall Whites. Mind-blowing family reunion, right?

The rules for surviving this cosmic battle? First, don’t get vaporized by the Grays’; brain-melting weaponry. Second, watch your back because one of Leisa’s crew might just be a traitorous mole for the alien invaders.

Rather than court-martialing her, Leisa’s commanding officer in the U.S. Marine Raiders only appears to oppose her rogue activities. In reality, he may be her greatest ally, allowing her team’s unsanctioned operation to continue for reasons not yet clear.

As if battling dual extraterrestrial civilizations wasn’t crazy enough, Leisa’s rogue warriors must also evade military pursuit from forces definitely opposed to their mission. Her own CO is the sole exception, dangling reassignment as leverage to keep Leisa in line while secretly enabling her quest.
In this warzone of tangled loyalties and conflicting alien agendas, who can Leisa really trust? Her own mother? Her addict best friend? The only certainty is that the future of the entire human race hangs in the balance.

With the world at stake, Leisa&amp’s only hope is joining forces with the benevolent Tall Whites against their ancient archenemies, the Grays. Can this rogue team prevent Earth from becoming the greatest strip mine in the galaxy?

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s 10 Most Interesting Things
What I learned: You have to dig through previous lessons a bit but it is all there.
A. What is most unique about your villain and hero? Our hero is both a healer and a warrior and willing to sacrifice her career for those she loves.
The antagonist is one of two alien races in the story whose goal is to eliminate mankind in order to have free rein to mine the Earth.
B. Major hook of your opening scene? In a flashforward, our hero is facing a court martial that is interrupted by the hacking of the computers and TV monitors by her brother warning of danger.
C. Any turning points?
When the Marines refuse to launch a rescue of Leisa’s brother, she creates a rogue unit to do it herself.
The team discovers alien weaponry and use it to escape pursuing military police.
We discover alien interest in Leisa’s family, Sky’s family, Bird Dog’s family and knowledge that Connie is a spy for someone.
Leisa receives a warning from her brother in a written message attached to an alien weapon; discovers the healing power of a glass/plastic shard; and their rescue by the Marines.
D. Emotional dilemma? Maintain her healing career or risk her and her team’s lives on a dangerous rescue mission.
E. Major twists? The biggest twists surround the disappearances. Her brother was not kidnapped by terrorists, her father was not captured and killed by the Taliban, and her mother was not dead. Instead, they have all been recruited by aliens to defend Earth except that her brother is in the hands of the bad aliens. And to sweeten the pot, her mother is an alien/human hybrid. Each of the recruited rogue team members have friends/relatives that have been recruited.
F. Reversals? Rescue mission becomes alien recruitment.
G. Character betrayals? It looks like Connie is the mole. Surprise! Not going to be him. I think it’s going to be Sky Queen, Leisa’s best friend on the team and the one who came up with the idea to go rogue. That’s a post-pilot reveal that could change.
H. Or any big surprises?
Other things in your script that could interest a producer. Science fiction in a military sub-world.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Character Intrigue
VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.
What I learned: It’s easy to find intrigue with the foundation built on previous lessons.
My Character Intrigue:
Character Nicholas Samichlaus
Role: The main protagonist, living secretly as both Santa and as a vampire.
Hidden agendas: To feed on the naughty.
Secrets: He’s Santa and he’s a vampire.
Deception: Hides both of his identities by claiming to be a toy designer.
Unspoken Wound: Accepted becoming a vampire in order to take over as The Santa.
Secret Identity: Santa/vampire

Character Agent Isabella Clarke
Role: An Interpol agent tasked with investigating the "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks.
Hidden agendas: To kill every vampire she finds.
Secrets: Remembers being rescued by Santa but has always put it at the back of her mind.
Unspoken Wound: Witnessed the death by vampire of her parents and her near death which now prevents her from having children. She has refused to become attached because of this.
Secret Identity: Identifies as a tourist.

Character Vladimir Kozlov
Role: An ancient, powerful vampire, a rival to Nicholas Samichlaus.
Hidden agendas: To kill Nicholas so he can take over the job of The Santa for the power of the position.
Competition: Has always competed with Nicholas.
Secrets: Was Nicholas’ unknown sire which has prevented Nicholas from harming him and likewise, Vlad has been unable to harm Nicholas.
Deception: Hides his nature from Isabella. Provides information to her so that she can kill Nicholas since he cannot.
Unspoken Wound: Has always lost to Santa/Nicholas, partially because all the magical people support Nicholas. Vladimir ignores them and blames Nicholas.
Secret Identity: A Deputy U.S. Marshall.

Character Eirlys Snowbind
Role: A wise elf from the enchanted realms of the North, an old ally of Nicholas.
Hidden agendas: Her hidden purpose is to protect the office of The Santa and its occupant.
Secrets: Only a few know of her purpose. She hides it by simply claiming that she is Santa’s friend.
Deception: Always. Her magic is never seen.
Secret Identity: An agent of Time (headed by Father Thyme.)

AI PROMPT
Character 1: Santa/Nicholas Samichlaus (Vampiric Protagonist)
Hidden Agenda: Secretly using his Santa persona to lure victims for feeding, staying one step ahead of the investigators.
Competition: Vying against his rival Vladimir for dominance in the vampire underworld.
Secret Identity: His jolly Santa Claus persona masking his true vampiric nature.
Unspoken Wound: The guilt and isolation of being cursed as an immortal vampire, distancing himself from human connection.
Character 2: Agent Isabella Clarke (Love Interest)
Hidden Agenda: Determined to use her love for Nicholas as a way to get closer and uncover the truth about his involvement in the killings.
Conspiracy: Working with a secret sect of the church to eliminate the undead threat posed by Nicholas and other vampires.
Secret: Harboring lingering childhood trauma from a vampire attack that robbed her of the chance to have children.
Deception: Feigning warming feelings for Nicholas while truly aiming to bring him to justice.
Character 3: Vladimir Kozlov (Rival Vampire Antagonist)
Hidden Agenda: Plotting to seize control of the vampire community by eliminating Nicholas as a rival.
Competition: Seeking to undermine and humiliate Nicholas's efforts at redemption to prove vampire superiority.
Conspiracy: Orchestrating the "12 Days" killings as a ploy to frame Nicholas and turn humans against him.
Secret Identity: Posing as a wealthy human philanthropist to maintain a veneer of respectability.
Character 4: Eirlys Snowbind (Elven Advisor)
Hidden Agenda: Subtly manipulating events to test Nicholas's resolve and ensure the balance between realms remains intact.
Secret: Withholding certain mystical knowledge from Nicholas until he's truly ready to wield it responsibly.
Unspoken Wound: Haunted by past failures where her guidance led others down a dark path of abusing magic.
Deception: Obfuscating the full extent of her powers and the potential consequences if Nicholas strays too far.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Subtext Characters
VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.
What I learned: It must be the empowerment. Subtext is getting easier. Taking it one step at a time.

Character Name: Nicholas Samichlaus (aka Santa Claus)
Subtext Identity: Santa and a vampire
Subtext Trait: Secretive and tricky
Subtext Logline: Nick is Santa who is controlled by his vampiric urges.
Possible Areas of Subtext: need to feed, need to make children happy; use of magic to disguise his actions, both Santa and vampiric; lies to cover up his dual identity.

Character Name: Agent Isabella Clarke
Subtext Identity: Killer of vampires
Subtext Trait: Undercover and crafty
Subtext Logline: Isabella is an Interpol agent who kills vampires.
Possible Areas of Subtext: need for a man; need a family; childhood wonder of the real Santa; obsessive determination to irradicate all vampires.

AI Generated:
Character 1: Santa/Nicholas Samichlaus (Vampiric Protagonist)
Subtext Identity: Cursed immortal straddling two worlds
Subtext Trait: Suppressing his vampiric hunger and bloodlust
Subtext Logline: Nicholas Samichlaus is a centuries-old vampire cursed to bring joy as Santa while battling his monstrous need to feed on humans.
Possible areas of subtext:
• Hiding his true vampiric nature from the world
• Afraid to reveal his bloodlust and "naughty" side
• Keeping his romantic feelings for Isabella a secret
• Lying about his involvement in the "12 Days" killings
• Luring victims under the guise of being Santa Claus
• Withholding the truth about the vampire curse
• Being polite and jolly on the surface while wrestling with inner demons
• Plotting how to satiate his thirst for blood undetected

Character 2: Agent Isabella Clarke (Love Interest)
Subtext Identity: Haunted monster hunter
Subtext Trait: Burying her childlike wonder under professional determination
Subtext Logline: Agent Isabella Clarke is an Interpol investigator pursuing the "12 Days" killings, her youthful belief in Santa clashing with her sworn duty to eliminate the undead.
Possible areas of subtext:
• Hiding her reawakened childhood belief in Santa
• Afraid to confront her growing feelings for the suspect Nicholas
• Keeping a personal vendetta against the supernatural a secret
• Lying about the level of her obsession with the case
• Luring Nicholas into a honeytrap to discover his true nature
• Withholding vulnerability and emotions behind her tough exterior
• Being polite and professional while struggling with inner turmoil
• Plotting how to take down the vampire Santa no matter what

Character 3: Vladimir Kozlov (Rival Vampire Antagonist)
Subtext Identity: Machiavellian apex predator
Subtext Trait: Weaving intricate webs of manipulation and domination
Subtext Logline: Vladimir Kozlov is an ancient, ruthless vampire lord seeking to crush Nicholas's quest for redemption and maintain the undead's reign over humanity.
Possible areas of subtext:
• Hiding his envy and resentment towards Nicholas
• Afraid his dominance over the vampire world may be upended
• Keeping his sadistic games and manipulations concealed
• Lying about his true motives and loyalty to other vampires
• Luring victims through charm and allegiance before striking
• Withholding key information that could expose his schemes
• Being polite and civilized as a veil for his darkness
• Plotting to destroy Nicholas's efforts at every turn

Character 4: Eirlys Snowbind (Elven Advisor)
Subtext Identity: Mystical gatekeeper between realms
Subtext Trait: Balancing the scales of natural and supernatural order
Subtext Logline: Eirlys Snowbind is an enigmatic elf sorceress guiding Nicholas's path while ensuring the balance between magic and mortal worlds remains intact.
Possible areas of subtext:
• Hiding the extent of her mystical powers and ancient knowledge
• Afraid the consequences if she uses magic recklessly
• Keeping her apprehensions about Nicholas's path a secret
• Lying about how much she's willing to intervene supernaturally
• Luring others into the mystical realms through riddles and visions
• Withholding certain truths if revealing them would be too risky
• Being polite and ethereal while weighing heavy decisions
• Plotting how to guide Nicholas in accordance with magical laws

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

WIM+AI – Module 3 – Lesson 2: Roles that Sell Actors
Lead Character Name: Nicholas Samichlaus (aka Santa Claus)
Role: Initially Antagonist become anti-hero
1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? Who wouldn’t want to play the loved by all Jolly Ole’ St. Nick who is also the terrifying vampire of everyone’s dreams?
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story? The contrast between making children happy and killing those who grew up to be naughty.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script? We could see how he chooses his victims, watch him fall in love, see him angry, see him forgiving.
4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor? He could be delivering toys to all the “nice” kids and veer off and attack a “naughty” teen.
5. What could be this character’s emotional range. Hungry and uncaring with his need to feed; loving; a killer; the hero to some; the vengeful master to others.
6. What subtext can the actor play? The struggle between his love of making children happy and his need to feed. Always plotting one or the other.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have? With his love interest who is tasked with killing him; relationship from his friend and advisor, the elf Eirlys Snowbind; the relationship with his rival Vladimir Kozlov who wants the Santa gig.
8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented? Mysterious, quiet.
9. What could make this character special and unique? Vampire. Santa. Friend. Enemy. Lover. What else?

Lead Character Name: Agent Isabella Clarke
Role: Initially Protagonist becomes love interest)
1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? Tasked with taking down Santa.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story? A loner; an international crime fighter; never been in love.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script? Following the clues leading to the vampire; distracted by a love interest; possible interest by Vladimir who turns on her; going against orders and her lifetime training and motivation and save the vampire.
4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor? (possible teaser) She fights and kills a vampire.
5. What could be this character’s emotional range? Dedicated to the job; distracted by an interesting man (or two); falling in love; finding out Nick’s true nature – shattered; comes to terms with the problem; chooses love.
6. What subtext can the actor play? Childhood wonder as she learns that Santa is real mixed with her obsessive determination to eliminate all vampires.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have? With her target and future love interest. She learns from Vladimir that Santa was the one that killed her parents, burnt the house down, caused it to unknowingly collapse of her, causing the inability to have children (maybe deformed).
8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented? With her ability to get to the truth while questioning.
9. What could make this character special and unique? Biting/sarcastic wit; shares with Santa a soft spot for kids; a mature Buffy.

AI Version of the Actor Attractors
Character 1: Nicholas Samichlaus (Santa/Vampiric Protagonist)
1. Known for Role: Playing Nicholas would allow an actor to portray a complex, tortured soul grappling with his monstrous nature while yearning for redemption. It's a compelling, multi-layered role that could showcase an actor's range and depth.
2. Most Interesting Character: Nicholas is undoubtedly one of the most fascinating characters in the story. As a centuries-old vampire struggling to suppress his bloodlust, he represents the internal battle between good and evil, humanity and monstrosity, making him a richly layered and compelling protagonist.
3. Interesting Actions: Some of the most intriguing actions Nicholas could take include sacrificing his own desires for the greater good, using his vampiric abilities in unexpected and ingenious ways, or ultimately choosing to embrace his humanity, even at the cost of his immortal life.
4. Introduction: Nicholas could be introduced as a mysterious, charismatic figure, perhaps seen performing acts of kindness or charity, only to have his true vampiric nature gradually revealed, creating an engaging sense of mystery and duality for the actor to portray.
5. Emotional Range: Nicholas' emotional range could span from brooding melancholy and tormented guilt to bursts of rage and primal hunger, as well as moments of genuine warmth, tenderness, and vulnerability when he connects with Isabella or his allies.
6. Subtext: The actor could play on the subtext of Nicholas' constant internal struggle, the weight of his centuries-old existence, and the longing for redemption and acceptance lurking beneath his outward charm and composure.
7. Interesting Relationships: Nicholas' most compelling relationships could be his forbidden romance with Isabella, his complex dynamic with his vampire rival Vladimir, and his mentor-like bond with Eirlys, the elven advisor.
8. Unique Voice: Nicholas' unique voice could be a blend of old-world sophistication, reflecting his centuries of existence, and a more modern, relatable charm, allowing him to seamlessly navigate both the human and supernatural realms.
9. Special: What could make Nicholas truly special is his determination to break free from the curse of vampirism and embrace his humanity, even in the face of overwhelming odds and temptations, making him a symbol of hope and redemption in a dark, supernatural world.
Character 2: Agent Isabella Clarke (Interpol Agent/Love Interest)
1. Known for Role: Playing Isabella would allow an actress to portray a strong, determined woman at the forefront of a supernatural thriller. It's a role that could showcase her range as both a capable investigator and a vulnerable, emotionally complex character.
2. Most Interesting Character: Isabella is one of the most intriguing characters due to her personal vendetta against the supernatural, stemming from a tragic past. This motivation adds depth and complexity to her character, making her more than just a love interest or a one-dimensional protagonist.
3. Interesting Actions: Some of Isabella's most compelling actions could include uncovering shocking truths about Nicholas' vampiric nature, risking her own life to protect innocent victims, or ultimately choosing to embrace the supernatural world she once resented in order to find true happiness.
4. Introduction: Isabella could be introduced as a brilliant, no-nonsense Interpol agent, relentlessly pursuing the "12 Days of Christmas" case. Her determination and intelligence could be immediately established, only to be gradually juxtaposed with her more vulnerable side as her tragic past is revealed.
5. Emotional Range: Isabella's emotional range could span from steely determination and unwavering professionalism to moments of raw vulnerability and grief over her past trauma. Her growing feelings for Nicholas could also introduce a softer, more romantic side to her character.
6. Subtext: The actress could play on the subtext of Isabella's inner turmoil, the conflict between her personal vendetta and her growing feelings for Nicholas, as well as the lingering pain and guilt she carries from her family's tragedy.
7. Interesting Relationships: Isabella's most compelling relationships could be her forbidden romance with Nicholas, her dynamic with her Interpol colleagues (who may not approve of her involvement with a suspect), and her interactions with Eirlys, who could offer her a new perspective on the supernatural world.
8. Unique Voice: Isabella's unique voice could be a blend of no-nonsense professionalism and an underlying vulnerability, reflecting her strength as an investigator and her emotional depth as a woman haunted by her past.
9. Special: What could make Isabella truly special is her ability to overcome her personal traumas and biases, ultimately embracing the supernatural world she once resented in order to find happiness and redemption alongside Nicholas.
Character 3: Vladimir Kozlov (Antagonist/Rival Vampire)
1. Known for Role: Playing Vladimir would allow an actor to portray a deliciously menacing and charismatic villain, one who revels in his power and sadistic tendencies. It's a role that could showcase an actor's ability to command the screen and captivate audiences with a sense of danger and allure.
2. Most Interesting Character: Vladimir is one of the most intriguing characters due to his age-old rivalry with Nicholas and his unwavering commitment to maintaining his dominance in the supernatural world. His ruthless pursuit of power and disdain for Nicholas' quest for redemption make him a formidable and compelling antagonist.
3. Interesting Actions: Some of Vladimir's most compelling actions could include orchestrating elaborate schemes to undermine Nicholas, using his vampiric powers in unexpected and terrifying ways, or ultimately facing off against Nicholas in a climactic battle of wits and strength.
4. Introduction: Vladimir could be introduced as a powerful, enigmatic figure within the vampire community, perhaps seen holding court or exerting his influence over others. His charisma and cunning could be immediately established, creating an air of mystery and intrigue for the actor to explore.
5. Emotional Range: Vladimir's emotional range could span from calm, calculated menace to outbursts of unbridled rage and sadistic glee. The actor could also explore moments of vulnerability or even brief glimpses of humanity, adding depth to the character's overall villainy.
6. Subtext: The actor could play on the subtext of Vladimir's deep-seated resentment towards Nicholas, his jealousy over Nicholas' attempts at redemption, and his unwavering belief in the superiority of vampires over humans.
7. Interesting Relationships: Vladimir's most compelling relationships could be his adversarial dynamic with Nicholas, his manipulative relationships with other vampires or supernatural beings he seeks to control, and his potential involvement with a human character, perhaps as a means of toying with or exploiting them.
8. Unique Voice: Vladimir's unique voice could be a blend of cultured sophistication and menacing undertones, reflecting his centuries of existence and his status as a powerful figure within the supernatural world.
9. Special: What could make Vladimir truly special is his ability to simultaneously captivate and terrify audiences, becoming a truly iconic and memorable villain. His unwavering commitment to his own twisted ideals and his willingness to go to any lengths to achieve his goals could make him a force to be reckoned with.
Character 4: Eirlys Snowbind (Elven Advisor/Supernatural Ally)
1. Known for Role: Playing Eirlys would allow an actress to portray a wise, enigmatic figure with a deep connection to the magical realms. It's a role that could showcase her ability to convey a sense of mystery and ancient knowledge, while also exploring the character's more compassionate and nurturing side.
2. Most Interesting Character: Eirlys is one of the most intriguing characters due to her unique perspective as an elf from the enchanted realms, as well as her deep understanding of magic and the supernatural world. Her role as a mentor and ally to Nicholas adds an intriguing dynamic to the story.
3. Interesting Actions: Some of Eirlys' most compelling actions could include performing powerful acts of magic to aid Nicholas or thwart their enemies, imparting ancient wisdom and guidance, or even risking her own safety to protect those she cares about.
4. Introduction: Eirlys could be introduced in a way that immediately establishes her otherworldly nature and connection to magic, perhaps through a stunning display of her abilities or a glimpse into the enchanted realms she hails from. This could create a sense of intrigue and wonder for the actress to explore.
5. Emotional Range: Eirlys' emotional range could span from a serene, almost ethereal calm to moments of fierce determination and protective instincts, especially when it comes to her bond with Nicholas. The actress could also explore moments of vulnerability or even fear, as Eirlys grapples with the consequences of misusing magic.
6. Subtext: The actress could play on the subtext of Eirlys' deep connection to the mystical realms, her wisdom born from centuries of experience, and her unwavering commitment to guiding Nicholas on his path to redemption.
7. Interesting Relationships: Eirlys' most compelling relationships could be her mentor-like bond with Nicholas, her interactions with other supernatural beings or magical creatures, and her potential connections to characters from the human world who may be drawn into the supernatural realm.
8. Unique Voice: Eirlys' unique voice could be a blend of ancient, almost otherworldly qualities, reflecting her elven heritage and connection to magic, while also conveying a sense of warmth and compassion when interacting with those she cares for.
9. Special: What could make Eirlys truly special is her ability to serve as a bridge between the human and supernatural worlds, using her knowledge and magical abilities to guide others on a path of understanding and enlightenment. Her unwavering belief in the potential for redemption and her willingness to fight for those she cares about could make her a powerful and inspiring presence in the story.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager
I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager
I have seven marketable features and five marketable pilots, the fifth just coming out of BWTV in about a month.
I writing a Christmas Horror in the Writing Incredible Movies class as my first horror project and I need to elevate my fear factor. I’ve written vampire films and pilots but no “terrifying” horror projects.
I’ve been retired for ten years and am working harder now than I did when I worked for “The Man.”

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Genre Conventions

VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.

What I learned: I learned so much about genre conventions, especially Horror and researching Christmas that it made the 4-act structure so much more valuable than previous efforts.

Genre = Christmas horror

The Christmas-specific conventions are:

HOLIDAY SPIRIT: The story should capture the essence of the Christmas season, with themes of generosity, love, and goodwill prevailing even in the face of adversity.

MIRACULOUS OCCURRENCES: Introduce elements of magic or miracles, where seemingly impossible events occur, reinforcing the belief in the magic of Christmas.

FAMILY REUNION: Emphasize the importance of family bonding and reconciliation, often with estranged family members coming together and resolving their differences during the holiday.

THE POWER OF BELIEF: Explore the idea that believing in the spirit of Christmas can overcome obstacles and bring about positive change, whether it’s reviving lost hope or defeating a villain.

WINTER WONDERLAND SETTING: Utilize the cozy and picturesque backdrop of a snowy Christmas village or a festive city adorned with holiday decorations to create a visually enchanting atmosphere.

CHRISTMAS MIRACLE: Incorporate a central event or moment that serves as a catalyst for transformation or resolution, symbolizing the miraculous nature of the season.

REDEMPTION AND SECOND CHANCES: Offer characters opportunities for redemption and personal growth, often through acts of kindness or selflessness that lead to forgiveness and reconciliation.

COMMUNITY SPIRIT: Showcase the importance of community and camaraderie during the holidays, with neighbors coming together to support one another and spread cheer.

THE MAGIC OF SANTA: Introduce the figure of Santa Claus or a Santa-like character who embodies the spirit of giving and spreads joy to those in need, often playing a pivotal role in the story’s resolution.

LOVE AND ROMANCE: Incorporate romantic subplots or themes of love and romance, with characters finding or rekindling love amidst the festive backdrop of Christmas.

Merged Christmas and Horror Conventions:

HOLIDAY SPIRIT / PURPOSE: Despite the festive atmosphere, the purpose of the story remains to create a sense of horror for the audience by taking characters to the point of hysteria, juxtaposing the joyful holiday setting with terrifying events.

MIRACULOUS OCCURRENCES / ISOLATION: Introduce elements of magic or miracles that become twisted and sinister, isolating characters in a setting where they feel powerless against the malevolent forces at play, despite the holiday cheer surrounding them.

FAMILY REUNION / DEATH: Emphasize the importance of family bonding and reconciliation while threatening characters with awful, violent, and torturous deaths, creating a stark contrast between the warmth of family gatherings and the horrors they face.

THE POWER OF BELIEF / MONSTER/VILLAIN: Explore the idea that believing in the spirit of Christmas can overcome obstacles, while facing off against a monstrous villain or entity that inflicts endless terror and violence, challenging the characters’ beliefs and resolve.

WINTER WONDERLAND SETTING / HIGH TENSION: Utilize the cozy and picturesque backdrop of a snowy Christmas village or city to heighten tension, putting characters in sinister situations that escalate to the point of hysteria amidst the holiday festivities.

CHRISTMAS MIRACLE / DEPARTURE FROM REALITY: Incorporate a central event or moment that serves as a catalyst for transformation or resolution, but twist it into a horrifying revelation that shatters the characters’ sense of reality, plunging them deeper into the nightmare of the holiday horror.

REDEMPTION AND SECOND CHANCES / MORAL STATEMENT: Offer characters opportunities for redemption and personal growth, but underscore the consequences of crossing moral lines during the holiday season, where those who violate values are punished in a bad way, serving as a cautionary tale amidst the horror.

The new 4-act structure:

Act 1: Old Ways
• Opening: We meet Nicholas Samichlaus, the charming but reclusive Santa Claus figure who hides a dark secret – he is a centuries-old vampire tormented by an insatiable bloodlust. Christmas Day, which kicks off the 12 Days of Christmas, intensifies his cravings because the arduous task of delivering toys around the world drains his energy and life force, forcing him to binge feed on blood to restore himself (Monster/Villain, Departure from Reality).

• Inciting Incident: Interpol agent Isabella Clarke arrives in the remote, snow-covered village to investigate a string of grisly “12 Days of Christmas” vampire attacks (High Tension). The attacks are not always fatal, as Nicholas’ “Santa” persona sometimes overwhelms his vampiric urges (Moral Statement).

• Turning Point: Nicholas and Isabella meet, an undeniable romantic spark complicating matters (Love and Romance). He fears his monstrous nature being exposed to the woman he’s becoming enamored with as she closes in on the truth (Isolation).

Act 2: Embracing the Old Ways

• New Plan: Eirlys, an elf who has helped guide Santa’s conscience and minimize harm over the centuries, warns Nicholas his bloodthirsty path will only lead to tragedy (Moral Statement). But he refuses to fully listen, doubling down on deception.

• Plan in Action: Leaning into his Santa persona, Nicholas manipulates festive events and crime scenes while concealing his vampirism from the woman he’s falling for (Miraculous Occurrences). Christmas villagescapes provide ominous backdrops (Winter Wonderland Setting).

• Midpoint Turning Point: Just as Nicholas and Isabella’s feelings deepen, the ancient vampire Kozlov ensures she gains access to evidence implicating Nicholas in the murders (Death). Shockingly, Isabella reveals her orders are not to arrest the vampire, but to eliminate him (High Tension, Departure from Reality).

Act 3: Transition

• Rethink Everything: With Isabella duty-bound to destroy him and his Santa identity crumbling, Nicholas is forced to reckon with the fallout of his lies and bloodlust (Moral Statement).

• New Plan: Desperate to salvage what humanity remains, Nicholas decides to risk revealing his true vampiric nature to Isabella before it’s too late (Departure from Reality).

• Turning Point: Before Nicholas can come clean, Kozlov exposes him as a monstrous vampire to a horrified Isabella, seemingly shattering any hope of redemption (Death, High Tension).

Act 4: New Ways

• Climax: As the “12 Days of Christmas” rage towards their conclusion on Epiphany Eve/January 5th, an epic supernatural battle ensues between Nicholas and Kozlov, who first cursed his Santa bloodline (Miraculous Occurrences). Channeling familial love for Isabella and the spirit of the season, Nicholas unleashes festive Christmas magic fused with vampiric abilities (Winter Wonderland Setting).

• Resolution: Mustering his humanity, Nicholas performs an ancient ritual to break Kozlov’s curse, ending the 12 Days (Christmas Miracle). The magic purges his vampirism, cementing his calling as the new Santa and human protector. With his torment behind him, Nicholas can embrace Isabella and his sacred duty (Redemption).

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s 4 Act Transformational Structure

VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.

What I learned: The 4-act structure breaks up the traditional Act 2 to be more manageable.

Title = Vampire Santa

Genre = Christmas Horror

Concept = Santa, a tormented vampire, battles his bloodlust while romancing an Interpol agent investigating the “12 Days of Christmas” vampire attacks.

Main Conflict: Santa, living a dual life as a vampire and a reclusive figure, must conceal his true identity from his love interest, an Interpol agent on a mission to find the vampire responsible for the notorious “12 Days of Christmas” attacks.

Old Ways: Deceptive, isolated, and consumed by guilt over his vampiric nature. Reliant on his supernatural abilities to maintain his Santa Claus persona yet haunted by the need to feed on human blood. Distrustful of others and fearful of his true self being exposed.

New Ways: Embraces both his human and vampire sides, finding a balanced, harmonious existence. Learns to trust, love, and forge meaningful connections with others, including Isabella. Willingly accepts the responsibility of his role as Santa Claus, using his powers for good and finding redemption.

Act 1:
• Opening – Santa finishes the Christmas run. Drops in on Crimson North for his first victim. He picks a teen that has been naughty.
• Inciting Incident – Agent Isabella Clarke arrives in town, investigating the “12 Days of Christmas” vampire attacks.
• Turning Point – Nicholas and Isabella meet. An undeniable attraction forms between them, complicating Nicholas’s life, and Isabella’s mission.

Act 2:
• New plan
• Plan in action – Origin of why Santa engages in 12 days of violent vampirism starting on Christmas day.
• Midpoint Turning Point – Tensions escalate as Isabella gets closer to the truth. Meanwhile, Nicholas receives warnings from Eirlys Snowbind, his elven advisor, about his dangerous path.

Act 3:
• Rethink everything
• New plan
• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift — Isabella discovers a critical clue linking Nicholas to the vampire attacks. Simultaneously, Vladimir Kozlov, the rival vampire, becomes a direct threat, seeking to exploit Nicholas’s vulnerability.

Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict — A confrontation ensues between Nicholas and Vladimir, with Isabella caught in the middle. Nicholas must choose between his love for Isabella and his vampiric nature.
• Resolution — The aftermath of the confrontation. Nicholas’s fate and the nature of his relationship with Isabella are resolved, revealing the impact of their choices on their lives and the supernatural world. The balance between the human and vampire worlds is reestablished but changed forever.

AI Version:

Act 1: Old Ways
• Opening: We meet Nicholas Samichlaus, outwardly a charming but reclusive Santa Claus figure, secretly tormented by his centuries-old vampire curse and need for human blood.
• Inciting Incident: Interpol agent Isabella Clarke arrives to investigate the “12 Days of Christmas” vampire attacks, unaware Nicholas is behind them.
• Turning Point: Nicholas and Isabella meet, an undeniable attraction complicating matters. He fears his dark nature being exposed.

Act 2: Embracing the Old Ways
• New Plan: Eirlys warns Nicholas his path is dangerous. He doubles down on deception to cover his tracks from Isabella.
• Plan in Action: Nicholas manipulates events while concealing his vampirism from the woman he’s falling for.
• Midpoint Turning Point: Isabella links Nicholas to the murders. Rival Kozlov moves to expose and destroy him.

Act 3: Transition
• Rethink Everything: With Isabella closing in, Nicholas reckons with the fallout of his lies and deceptions.
• New Plan: Nicholas seeks to reveal his true nature to Isabella before Kozlov can turn her against him.
• Turning Point: Kozlov exposes Nicholas as a vampire to a horrified Isabella, shattering redemption hopes.

Act 4: New Ways
• Climax: An epic supernatural battle ensues. Nicholas unleashes festive blasts of Christmas magic fused with vampiric power against Kozlov, who cursed his Santa bloodline. Channeling love for Isabella, Nicholas performs a ritual destroying Kozlov’s ancient curse, purging his family’s vampirism and merging his mantles as Santa and human protector.
• Resolution: Nicholas, now human, embraces Isabella. The world sees he was never a vampire, but the latest inheritor merging his sacred Santa calling and guardianship of humanity.
This climax allows Nicholas’s journey to come full circle – from cursed, tormented vampire ashamed of his nature, to confidently wielding both aspects of his heritage (Santa and vampire) to break free of the past and reshape his identity through an act of world-restoring magic and sacrifice.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

What I learned: So much. I just took one or two elements at a time, and ran through the script and every time, I found improvements.

I think the biggest improvements came from looking at each line of dialogue and description and using the rules to make them short and succinct. No unnecessary wording. Removing the character’s name at the beginning of every paragraph of description easily reduced the page count.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Subtext Plot
VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.
What I learned:
Tell us your concept and your choice of one or two of these Subtext Plots.
CONCEPT: Santa, a tormented vampire, battles his bloodlust while romancing an Interpol agent investigating the “12 Days of Christmas” vampire attacks.
SUBTEXT PLOTS:
– Scheme and Investigation + A Major Cover Up
Santa hides being a vampire. Isabella is an Interpol agent investigating the attacks while falling in love with Santa (as Nicholas).
– Layering
Nicholas (Nick) appears to be a fan of Christmas and likes to dress up. It’s a cover for who he actually is and hides his vampire actions.
Nick loves children and will frequently drain them so that they will not become adults.
Isabella hates Christmas ostensibly because of the greed and commercialization but it’s really because she was abused by a fake Santa as a child.
Isabella never wants children because they are “parasites.” She had a bad childhood.
Nick admires the children of the world because of their pure nature, the opposite of what he sees in himself.
– Someone Hides Who They Are
Santa is a vampire.
– The Fish Out of Water
Nick as Santa or as a vampire never fits in.
– Superior Position
The audience knows that Santa is a vampire.
The audience and Nick know he’s falling in love but believes Isabella is only out to capture him
Isabella believes that Nick is too good for her and tries not to fall for him.
– Competitive Agendas

AI PROMPT:
Here are 7 possible subtext plots for your Christmas horror screenplay about a tormented vampire Santa battling his bloodlust while an Interpol agent investigates his “12 Days of Christmas” attacks:
1. Scheme and Investigation Vladimir Kozlov secretly schemes to expose Nicholas’s vampire identity and take over the Santa role for himself. Isabella unknowingly investigates clues that Kozlov plants, making her suspect Nicholas. A cat-and-mouse game ensues between Kozlov manipulating events and Nicholas covering his tracks.
2. Layering On the surface, the story appears to be about Isabella’s investigation into the vampire attacks. But a deeper layer emerges revealing the ancient rivalry between Nicholas and Kozlov over the power and responsibilities of being Santa Claus. Their supernatural battle has been playing out for centuries.
3. Someone Hides Who They Are Nicholas must hide his true vampiric nature from the world, including Isabella. As she gets closer to the truth, she starts finding clues that don’t add up. A game of cat-and-mouse builds tension as Nicholas scrambles to cover his tracks before the full horrifying truth is discovered.
4. The Fish Out of Water Isabella, the hard-nosed city Interpol agent, finds herself out of her element in the mysterious, Gothic town of Crimson North investigating supernatural happenings she doesn’t understand. She must rely on unlikely allies like Eirlys to navigate this strange new world.
5. Superior Position The audience knows from the start that Nicholas is a tormented vampire struggling against his bloodlust. This puts the viewer in a superior position, creating dramatic irony as Isabella remains oblivious to his true nature while falling for him.
6. A Major Cover Up For centuries, Nicholas and his supernatural allies have been engaged in an elaborate cover-up to conceal his vampirism and sinister need to feed during Christmas. When the “12 Days” killings threaten to expose the truth, they must go to ever more extreme lengths.
7. Competitive Agendas Nicholas’s mission is to resist his vampiric urges and spread Christmas joy. Kozlov’s agenda is to expose and destroy Nicholas, taking the Santa mantle for his own evil ends. Their agendas viciously collide, with Isabella caught in the middle.
Combined Subplot (1, 4, 6):
Isabella, the city Interpol agent, is a fish out of water investigating vampire attacks in Crimson North, unaware of Nicholas’s vampirism and the centuries-old cover-up by his ally Eirlys, who plants clues exposing rival Vladimir Kozlov’s secret scheme to implicate Nicholas and take over his Santa role.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager Has Amazing Description!

What I learned: This was a great process for clarifying what the reader sees, especially because of the science fiction nature of extraterrestrials mixed in with humans. It also gave me an opportunity to improve the surrounding dialogue. A little more show and less tell.
Examples of improvements:

1. Court martial scene where Leisa’s brother hacks into the courtroom TV. I also moved the action to before Nathan’s dialogue. The dialogue expands on the reveal.

Before: Tears pour from Leisa’s eyes. A massive grin on her face.

After: Tears pour from Leisa’s eyes. A massive grin on her face. He’s alive.

2. Leisa preparing for liberty. The only reason for the addition is to highlight the severe transition in her mood as she learns that the date is off in the dialogue that follows. I also changed the following dialogue to highlight her mood change.

Leisa, a towel wrapped around her body and one around her head, applies makeup. Fancy civilian dress hangs from a nearby rail.

Leisa, a towel wrapped around her body and one around her head, applies makeup. Fancy civilian dress hangs from a nearby rail. It’s date night.

3. A radio message comes of casualties in the rescue team.

The radio silent, all stare at Leisa, her head in her hands.

All stare at Leisa, her head in her hands. It was her fault.

4. Added a little to this description because it is hard to visualize.

The Colonel pulls out a rubbery looking device, drops it on the table. Instead of bouncing, it spreads out into an odd shaped item almost like dropping a pan of mashed potatoes.

The Colonel pulls out a rubbery looking device, drops it on the table. Instead of bouncing, it spreads out into an odd shaped item almost like dropping a pan of mashed potatoes. It forms up like an alien communications device would look.

5. Needed to highlight that one of the kidnappers was an alien.

A live stream by one of the victims shows an oddly dressed kidnapper who singles out Nathan and takes him away. Normal looking Hispanic terrorists take the rest away.

A live stream by one of the victims shows an oddly dressed kidnapper single out Nathan, takes him away. Hispanic terrorists take the rest away. The odd one, an alien.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Transformational Journey

VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.

What I learned:

Title/Genre: Vampire Santa / horror

1. Protag Character Arc:

Beginning: Vampire that is only concerned with uncontrolled feeding and taking care of the children.

Ending: Vampire who controls his blood lust, takes care of the children, and is in love.

2. Internal / External Journey

Internal: From a loner with out-of-controlled blood lust to a caring vampire in love.

External: From feared vampire to loved family man.

3. Old ways / new ways

Old ways:

Uncontrolled murderous blood lust

Loner

Uncaring concern with adults

Stuck in his routine (Christmas, seeking blood):

New ways:

Controlled feeding – no killing

In love – plans for his own children

Becomes friends with adults

Seeks out others to share in the joy of Christmas.

AI Response:

Character Arc:

Arc Begins: Nicholas Samichlaus is a tormented, centuries-old vampire who has dedicated his immortal life to the role of Santa Claus, battling his bloodlust to bring joy to the world. Cursed with vampirism, he is isolated and guilt-ridden, struggling to reconcile his dual identities.

Arc Ends: Through his journey, Nicholas finds the strength to embrace his humanity and overcome his dark nature. He learns to accept both sides of himself, emerging as a redeemed, balanced figure who can continue his Santa Claus mission with a renewed sense of purpose.

Internal/External Journey:

Internal Journey: Nicholas undergoes a profound emotional transformation, moving from self-loathing and fear of his vampiric nature to self-acceptance and a newfound sense of hope. He learns to trust others, opening himself up to the possibility of love and connection.

External Journey: Driven to uncover the truth behind the “12 Days of Christmas” vampire attacks, Nicholas must confront his rival, the powerful vampire Vladimir Kozlov, while also navigating his growing relationship with Interpol agent Isabella Clarke. This external conflict forces him to take decisive action to protect his identity and mission.

Old Ways vs. New Ways:

Old Ways: Deceptive, isolated, and consumed by guilt over his vampiric nature. Reliant on his supernatural abilities to maintain his Santa Claus persona yet haunted by the need to feed on human blood. Distrustful of others and fearful of his true self being exposed.

New Ways: Embraces both his human and vampire sides, finding a balanced, harmonious existence. Learns to trust, love, and forge meaningful connections with others, including Isabella. Willingly accepts the responsibility of his role as Santa Claus, using his powers for good and finding redemption.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Intentional Lead Characters

VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.

What I learned: I learned the simple way to create a character logline, learned which characters identified during the pre-class exercises would work the best as the core group of characters.

Logline: Nicholas Samichlaus (aka Santa Claus, protagonist) is a vampire who must binge feed after he makes his Christmas deliveries.

Logline: Isabella Clarke (love interest/antagonist) who is an Interpol agent tasked with investigating the 12 Days of Christmas vampire attacks who falls in love with the man she only knows as Nick.

Logline: Vladimir Kozlov is a vampire who seeks to overthrow Nicholas in order to rule the North.

Characters:

Character 1: Santa (Vampiric Protagonist)

Name: Nicholas Samichlaus (Switzerland for Santa Claus)

Role: The main protagonist, living secretly as a vampire. For centuries, Nicholas has been cursed with vampirism, but has dedicated his immortal life to carrying on his role as Santa Claus, delivering gifts to children around the world. However, his vampire nature creates an internal battle as he struggles to resist the bloodlust that threatens to consume him, especially during the high-stress Christmas season.

Journey: Nicholas is on a transformational journey to find redemption and reconcile his dual identities as both a benevolent gift-giver and a dangerous, blood-thirsty creature of the night. He must learn to master his vampiric urges in order to continue his mission of bringing joy to the world.

Unique: As the legendary Santa Claus figure, Nicholas possesses supernatural abilities like enhanced speed, strength, and immortality that aid him in his Christmas Eve deliveries. However, his vampirism also grants him heightened senses, mind control, and other dark powers that he must carefully control. His centuries-old wisdom and Christmas magic make him a powerful but tormented protagonist.

Intentional: Nicholas Samichlaus is the perfect protagonist to drive this Christmas horror story. As the iconic Santa Claus, he represents the dichotomy between good and evil, light and dark. His internal struggle with his vampiric nature creates high stakes and emotional depth, as the audience roots for him to triumph over his deadly curse and continue his benevolent mission. His character arc explores themes of redemption, the duality of human nature, and the power of holiday magic.

Character 2: Interpol Agent (Love Interest)

Name: Agent Isabella Clarke

Role: An Interpol agent tasked with investigating the “12 Days of Christmas” vampire attacks occurring in the Gothic town of Crimson North. As a driven, skeptical investigator, she is determined to uncover the truth behind the mysterious killings.

Journey: Initially convinced the murders are the work of a serial killer, Isabella’s investigation leads her to uncover the shocking truth – that the killer is in fact the legendary Santa Claus, who has been transformed into a vampire. As she digs deeper, she becomes conflicted, torn between her duty to stop the killer and a growing attraction and empathy for the tormented Nicholas.

Unique: As an Interpol agent, Isabella possesses a keen intellect, analytical skills, and a no-nonsense, cynical attitude. However, beneath her tough exterior lies a compassionate heart that is moved by Nicholas’s internal struggle. Her role as the pragmatic, rational investigator contrasts with Nicholas’s supernatural, emotional journey, creating compelling dramatic tension.

Intentional: Isabella serves as the audience’s point of view, grounding the fantastical elements of the story in a realistic, investigative framework. Her journey of uncovering the truth about Nicholas’s dual nature mirrors the audience’s own experience, and her developing feelings for him add a powerful romantic arc to the tale. Her character arc explores themes of prejudice, the nature of good and evil, and the power of love to overcome darkness.

Character 3: Antagonist (Rival Vampire)

Name: Vladimir Kozlov

Role: An ancient, powerful vampire who is a rival to Nicholas Frost. Driven by his own insatiable lust for power and the Santa Claus mantle, Vladimir seeks to expose Nicholas’s vampire identity and usurp his position as the one true Santa.

Journey: Vladimir has been secretly undermining Nicholas’s Christmas deliveries for centuries, sabotaging his routes and even turning some of his beloved children into vampires. Now, with the “12 Days of Christmas” murders drawing Interpol’s attention, Vladimir sees an opportunity to finally destroy Nicholas and take his place as the reigning vampire lord of the holiday season.

Unique: As an old-world, aristocratic vampire, Vladimir possesses a menacing, regal presence and a cultured, sophisticated demeanor that masks his ruthless, predatory nature. He wields powerful vampire abilities like mind control, shape-shifting, and superhuman strength, making him a formidable foe for the beleaguered Nicholas.

Intentional: Vladimir serves as the primary antagonist, creating the central conflict that drives the story’s plot. His rivalry with Nicholas is the catalyst for the “12 Days of Christmas” murders and the investigation that brings Isabella into the mix. As a dark mirror to the protagonist, Vladimir embodies the corrupting, destructive potential of power and the dangers of unchecked bloodlust. His character arc explores themes of ambition, the corruption of absolute power, and the eternal battle between good and evil.

Supporting Character 4: Elven Advisor (Supernatural Ally)

Name: Eirlys Snowbind

Role: A wise elf from the enchanted realms of the North, an old ally of Nicholas. Eirlys has been tasked with guiding and protecting Nicholas in his role as Santa Claus, using ancient magic to aid him in his Christmas Eve deliveries.

Journey: Eirlys has watched over Nicholas for centuries, ever since his transformation into a vampire. She has used her mystical powers to help conceal his true nature and enable him to continue his duties as Santa. However, as the “12 Days of Christmas” murders threaten to expose Nicholas, Eirlys must intervene more directly to protect him and stop the growing darkness.

Unique: As an elf, Eirlys possesses a deep connection to the magical forces of the natural world. She can commune with the elements, conjure enchantments, and even manipulate time to aid Nicholas in his Christmas Eve travels. Her ancient wisdom and mystical abilities make her a powerful ally, but she must also wrestle with the moral quandary of whether to reveal Nicholas’s vampirism to protect the children he serves.

Intentional: Eirlys serves as the supernatural guide and mentor figure, providing Nicholas with the magical support and counsel he needs to maintain his dual roles. Her character arc explores the complexities of loyalty, the preservation of ancient traditions, and the difficult choices one must make in the face of moral ambiguity. As a representative of the enchanted realms, Eirlys helps to ground the fantastical elements of the story and expand the mythological scope of the “Vampire Santa” world.

Supporting Character 5: Father Time (Mythical Mentor)

Name: Chronos Wintermere a.k.a. Father Thyme

Role: An embodiment of Father Time, an ageless entity who has watched over Nicholas since his transformation. Responsible for manipulating time so that Santa can make all of his deliveries in one night.

Journey: Chronos has served as a guiding force and mentor to Nicholas, using his mastery of time to enable the vampire Santa to complete his Christmas Eve rounds without being detected. However, as the “12 Days of Christmas” murders jeopardize Nicholas’s mission, Chronos must make difficult choices about how much interference is warranted to protect the sanctity of the holiday.

Unique: As the personification of Father Time, Chronos possesses an immortal, transcendent perspective on the events unfolding. He can see the past, present, and future, granting him unparalleled insight into the forces at play. His ability to manipulate the flow of time itself makes him a powerful ally, but also raises questions about the limits of his intervention and the consequences of his actions.

Intentional: Chronos serves as a wise, otherworldly mentor figure who helps to ground the fantastical elements of the story in a sense of timeless mythology. His character arc explores the delicate balance between fate and free will, the importance of tradition and ritual, and the responsibilities that come with wielding such immense power. As a guiding force for Nicholas, Chronos helps to elevate the stakes and broader significance of the protagonist’s journey.

Supporting Character 6: The Toymaker (Ancient Craftsman)

Name: Ambrose Woodwright

Role: An age-old toymaker who has been Nicholas’s friend and confidant for centuries, privy to his secret vampirism. Ambrose has used his skills as a master craftsman to create the enchanted toys that aid Nicholas in his Christmas deliveries.

Journey: Ambrose has faithfully served as Nicholas’s ally, using his toy-making abilities to sustain the magic of Christmas and conceal the vampire’s true nature. However, as the “12 Days of Christmas” murders threaten to expose the truth, Ambrose must decide whether to continue supporting Nicholas or to take matters into his own hands to protect the children he serves.

Unique: As an ancient, skilled artisan, Ambrose possesses a deep reverence for the traditions of Christmas and a strong moral compass. His toy-making abilities grant him a unique perspective on the magic of the holiday, and he has developed a close, almost familial bond with Nicholas over the centuries. However, his loyalty is tested as the darkness of the vampire’s plight encroaches on his idealized vision of Santa Claus.

Intentional: Ambrose serves as a grounding, human element in the fantastical world of “Vampire Santa.” His role as the trusted confidant and craftsman provides crucial logistical support to Nicholas’s mission, while also adding emotional depth and a sense of history to the protagonist’s journey. Ambrose’s character arc explores themes of friendship, moral responsibility, and the preservation of cherished traditions in the face of modern threats.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Title, Concept, and Character Structure

VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.

TITLE: Vampire Santa (alternate Crimson North)

Genre: Christmas Horror

CONCEPT: In the Gothic town of Crimson North, Santa, a tormented vampire, battles his bloodlust while romancing the Interpol agent investigating his “12 Days of Christmas” vampire attacks.

CHARACTER STRUCTURE: Protagonist (Santa, the anti-hero) versus the Antagonist (Interpol Agent and love interest.)

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager Has Great Introductions!

What I learned: The intros of the sub-world and characters went well. Struggled a little with irony but found that I already had some in place.

In the original version, two of the main characters were introduced like you would introduce somebody at a meeting. Not very intriguing. Changed it so that their action showed them competing with each other on the confidence course which was supported by dialogue.

Irony – Changed the description where we first see that Naphan is not a hostage, but maybe is in charge of his situation. This is also a setup for future.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Description 1!

What I learned: Makes you think, this isn’t hard, why didn’t I do this the first time.

Descriptive Imagery (action and images)

1. Before: A shadow falls over Nathan’s back. All monitors go blank.

After: A shadow falls over Nathan’s back. A long, pale hand reaches out. All monitors go blank.

2. Before: Leisa pushes her phone out to capture a wide shot of her with her dress covering her towel.

Action: Leisa drops her towel, shimmies back and forth with the dress covering her nude body. Sergio’s eyes pop.

3. Before: Leisa picks up a pitcher of beer and a bowl of peanuts, grabs an empty corner booth.

After: Leisa, a pitcher of beer in one hand, a bowl of peanuts in the other, slithers into a back booth.

4. Before: Sergio walks the course. Leisa pulls him to the side.

Action: Sergio walks the course. Leisa pulls up next to him, marks time, circles him, swoops in and out, blows in his ear. Someone’s getting randy.

5. Before: An alarm sounds, the doors lock. Connie reaches in, lifts it off the shelf.

After: Connie reaches in, lifts it off the shelf. Doors close, lock. The walls open and desks slide in. The door dissolves into nothing. No way out. An alarm sounds.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager Has Great Dialogue!

What I learned: My favorite writing technique, the line-by-line dialogue review. Each time I do this, I’m amazed by how much better the script becomes.

1. Before: Leisa — Bird, low power. No need to drop another building on my head.

After: Leisa — Careful, Bird. No need for unplanned urban renewal.

2. Before: BIRD DOG – Whatcha got there?

After: BIRD DOG — Sure we want to open Pandora’s Box?

3. (After fell from a helicopter, landing in a tree.)

Before:

LEISA

You think you’ll be able to do this?

CONNIE

If you don’t drop me.

After:

LEISA

You ready for this?

CONNIE

Well, I ain’t moving in.

4.

Before:

BIRD DOG

I’m a bit reluctant to see you open that.

After:

BIRD DOG

I’m leaning towards leaving it be.

5.

Before:

SENIOR OFFICER #2

Then let her finish what she started. At least, she’ll take the brunt of the truck load of shit that will come down. Agreed?

SENIOR OFFICER #2

Then let her finish what she started. At least, she’ll take the brunt of the truck load of shit that will come down if it goes south. Agreed?

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Dialogue 7 – 8

What I learned: Just need to go line-by-line and substitute different dialogue until you find the best.

Dialogue Skill 7. Dialogue As Action

1. Rewrote the entire scene. It now contains dialogue as action, subtext, predictive dialogue, dialogue delivers character, attack/counterattack, setup/payoff, and irony.

INT. NAVAL HOSPITAL – COMMANDING OFFICER’S OFFICE – DAY

Leisa, her face a mask of grief and rage, stands at attention at the C.O.’s door, knocks once, enters.

Commander (CDR) BENZ, sits at her desk, stares down her computer.

BENZ

Heard about your father, Petty Officer Hunter. So sorry.

Leisa forces out a…

LEISA

Thank you, Ma’am.

BENZ

I know it hurts, and I know what you’re thinking. But storming in here, making demands – that’s not going to help anyone, least of all you.

LEISA

You expect me to just sit back and do nothing? My father is dead because… because our government refused to act. If they won’t do it, I will.

BENZ

And what good would resigning do? You’d be throwing your career, your life, away and it won’t bring him back.

Leisa slumps. Benz rises from her desk, pats her shoulder.

BENZ

We’re both angry. Corral that anger. It will make you a better nurse, but your duty is with your Navy family.

LEISA

Any chance I can change your mind?

Benz shakes her head.

BENZ

Go back to work. Let the pros deal with it?

LEISA

Pros?

BENZ

SEALs. Marine Raiders.

Leisa reaches into an inside pocket, pulls out an envelope, lays it before Benz.

LEISA

I’d appreciate it if you could process this as quickly as possible.

2. Subtext – Cover up – Distraction/make a joke of it.
Changed Connie’s response from a diversion to this:

LEISA

What the hell, Connie? Checking your socials?

CONNIE

Are we going to sit around polishing our nails?

3. Just a one-line rewrite:

LEISA

Bird Dog, act now or forever hold your peace.

Dialogue Skill 8. Subtext

1. Added subtext to the first two bits of dialogue, both insinuate something going on.

LEISA

That guy who grabbed Nathan, he just doesn’t look… normal?

CAPT CARL

The terrorists have reached out for ransoms for the other victims. Not so with your brother.

LEISA

Why?

CAPT CARL

No clue. I’ll keep you informed. Take a couple days off, get yourself good and drunk. Run it off until your brain clears. Got it?

2. one-line rewrite – Remind us of what is under the surface.

CONNIE

Quit playing, Bird. He’s got friends.

3. A minor line change to insinuate there is something different going on.

LEISA

This is too easy.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager’s Dialogue 4 – 6

What I learned: While doing this lesson, I did what we learned in the call for the next lesson. I went line-by-line and examined each line of dialogue to see if it was a candidate for one of the dialogue techniques. Amazing how many opportunities for improvement.

Two Examples of Each:

A. Setup / Payoff

i. Originally, this was an Act 1 setup without a payout. I added the payout. This is in the scene with a Marine who faltered in the Confidence Course.

Leisa — This is nothing, Jonesee. You think this is hard, try dragging a bleeding Marine through a kill zone.

Changed to

Leisa — This is nothing, Jonesee. You think this is hard, try dragging a broken teammate half-way through a kill box.

Then I rewrote an Act 4 scene where Leisa must climb up a tree, bandage the Master Chief, and drag him through the woods to reconnect with her team.

ii.

B. Anticipatory Dialogue

i. Early scene establishing Leisa’s leadership capabilities: Frederick fell from the Wall Climb during a challenge. The other Marine element pulls ahead.

Leisa — We’re not out of this, Corporal. Just a sprain, you’ll be A-Okay.

Changed to:

Leisa — We’re not, you’re not, out of this, Corporal Frederick. Next thing you know, you’ll be making out with a bottle of beer.

ii. The following Nescaster dialogue was rewritten to include anticipatory dialogue.

NEWSCASTER

This incident has reignited a heated debate across both sides of the aisle in Congress, with the majority claiming to have foreseen this tragic outcome. One can only hope that this won’t devolve into the familiar cycle of partisan finger-pointing that has become increasingly common.

C. Ironic Dialogue

The following are two examples from the same scene:

i. Words opposite words example:

Original

LEISA

I let you boys down.

FREDERICK

Don’t worry, Doc. You’ll get a chance to prove yourself.

LEISA

If I don’t get everybody killed.

New version

LEISA

I let you boys down.

FREDERICK

You’ve been carrying our asses the whole time.

ii. Words opposite action example:

Original

FREDERICK

You coming Hunter?

Shakes her head.

LEISA

You know I’m fucked. Captain wouldn’t let me go on a mission to pick up pizza. I think I’ll just get drunk.

FREDERICK

Need a wingman?

LEISA

Nah. I’ll uber it.

New version:

FREDERICK

You coming Hunter?

Shakes her head.

LEISA

You know I’m fucked. Captain wouldn’t let me go on a mission to pick up pizza. I’ll just get drunk.

Leisa pours herself a soda. (added action)
FREDERICK

Need a wingman?

LEISA

Nah. I’ll uber it.

Not included here is the following scene where she was hung over, now she’s just tired from staying up all night.

[Bob Creager]

Mod 4 Lesson 8 – Dialogue 1 + 2

Bob Creager’s Dialogue 1 + 2

What I learned: Of all the rewrite steps, I like the Dialogue Delivers Character exercise the best. Print out the lead character’s dialogue and take it line-by-line. Works really well. I used Claude with mixed results. I was able to take maybe 20% of their suggestions and turn it into something better.

Attack / Counterattack:

Scene 4:

Before — Leisa is preparing to go out on a date with her boyfriend, Sergio, who is engaged to someone else. The original scene was a short cellphone conversation where he cancels their date, blaming it on work. She knows that it is because Bonnie Sue wants to go out so Sergio caves in.

After – The same opening as above but the conversation continues. After Leisa mentions Bonnie Sue, Sergio reminds her that Leisa left him, and he ended up engaged to Bonnie Sue. Leisa blames Sergio for not following her to her special forces training. Sergio reminds her that he’s not physically capable and that Bonnie Sue treats him well. Leisa ends the call in a huff.

Dialogue Delivers Character:

Scene 11 – Leisa after causing a mission failure in a previous scene. Leisa’s at the bar with a few of her MSOT team.

What would someone with the weaknesses of “Judgmental, insecure, and impulsively protective” say?

LEISA

I let you boys down.

FREDERICK

Don’t worry, Doc. You’ll get a chance to prove yourself.

LEISA

If I don’t get everybody killed.

This dialogue highlights Leisa’s basic insecurity and predicts her impulsively protective nature.

Continues with all of Leisa’s lines.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Completed P/S Grid #2

What I learned: It’s a step-by-step process. Take each scene, break it down, see what’s wrong with it.

1. Missed the Outline in Some Places – Went line-by-line to correct missing outline points.

10. Expositions Instead of Reveals – Used AI to search for scenes with exposition.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Completed P/S Grid #1

What I learned: Picking just a few of the problems makes the process less intimidating.

TITLE: ROGUE WARRIORS GENRE: SCIENCE FICTION

Problems Addressed:

I addressed some of these problems with screenplayfeedback.ai including: Weak conflict, structure, weak teaser, stronger midpoint, conclusion not strong.

Following are the ones I did specifically for this lesson:

8. Need a stronger cliffhanger. I looked at the episode ending. The ending mirrored the teaser with a court martial scene. The court martial was deferred when aliens took over the TV/Computer monitors in the courtroom now showing that there is an extraterrestrial connection to the abduction of the protagonist’s brother. The alien part was not shown in the teaser.

9. Weak turning points.

Teaser: The teaser leaves it hanging on why the court martial was postponed.

Act 1: Only minor improvements needed to setup the lead going rogue.

Act 2: Improved dialogue around the discovery of an alien weapon and secondly a possible confirmation that there is a mole realizing details of their action plans.

Act 3: While setting up for the turning point, had to enhance some of the unique character traits in dialogue and action in the scene before the final act scene. Worked on character relationships to hint at that not only the lead is impacted by the events, but so are her fellow rogue warriors. Left two of the team members being held at gunpoint. That resolution occurs in the next act.

Act 4/5: Act 4 had a weak turning point and the act was too short. Act 5 had a twist midpoint that became the end of act 4. Changed the turning point to leave the outcome more in doubt.

1

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Module 4

What I learned: It took a bit of effort to get the hang of high speed writing but it worked very well. A breakthrough for sure.

I wrote non-stop for the complete script and did not pause to post to the forum after each lesson but I did read the lesson before doing the Act.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Module 4

What I learned: It took a bit of effort to get the hang of high speed writing but it worked very well. A breakthrough for sure.

I wrote non-stop for the complete script and did not pause to post to the forum after each lesson but I did read the lesson before doing the Act.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Module 4

What I learned: It took a bit of effort to get the hang of high speed writing but it worked very well. A breakthrough for sure.

I wrote non-stop for the complete script and did not pause to post to the forum after each lesson but I did read the lesson before doing the Act.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Module 4

What I learned: It took a bit of effort to get the hang of high speed writing but it worked very well. A breakthrough for sure.

I wrote non-stop for the complete script and did not pause to post to the forum after each lesson but I did read the lesson before doing the Act.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Module 4

What I learned: It took a bit of effort to get the hang of high speed writing but it worked very well. A breakthrough for sure.

I wrote non-stop for the complete script and did not pause to post to the forum after each lesson but I did read the lesson before doing the Act.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Setups for Future Episodes

Setup 1:

A. Possible reveal in future episode: Nathan’s abduction is linked to an alien plot that involves human-alien hybrids.

B. Setup: Mysterious symbols found in Nathan’s journal that match alien glyphs seen in the raid.

C. How it could be set up in the pilot: During the tribunal or the team’s formation, briefly show Nathan’s journal with the glyphs, which later align with alien technology encountered during missions.

Setup 2:

A. Possible reveal in future episode: Capt Carl’s deep involvement in a shadowy human-alien alliance aiming for Earth dominance.

B. Setup: Carl receives encrypted communications that he hides from everyone, including the team.

C. How it could be set up in the pilot: Carl is seen receiving a communication on a device that uses technology not standard to the Marine Corps, hinting at his deeper connections.

Setup 3:

A. Possible reveal in future episode: Bird Dog’s arms dealings inadvertently aid the alien scheme.

B. Setup: Bird Dog receives alien tech under the guise of black-market arms, not fully understanding its origin.

C. How it could be set up in the pilot: Show a brief scene where Bird Dog examines a piece of technology with unfamiliar symbols, akin to those in Nathan’s journal, but he dismisses its significance.

Setup 4:

A. Possible reveal in future episode: Connie’s covert knowledge about the alien presence and his informant.

B. Setup: Connie makes cryptic remarks about “not being in the dark” about what’s really happening.

C. How it could be set up in the pilot: Insert a scene where Connie is seen speaking to an unseen contact, promising to keep “their” secret for now, establishing his hidden informant.

Setup 5:

A. Possible reveal in future episode: The Rogue Warriors’ operation uncovers a global alien intervention to prevent catastrophic events.

B. Setup: Leisa finds a piece of alien tech during the raid that hints at global locations and disaster sites.

C. How it could be set up in the pilot: In the raid scene, focus on Leisa discovering a device that projects a holographic map of Earth marked with specific locations, leaving its purpose a mystery.

Setup 6:

A. Possible reveal in future episode: Leisa and Sergio’s relationship becomes a pivotal point for internal and external conflicts.

B. Setup: Their concealed romance is hinted at through stolen glances and unfinished conversations.

C. How it could be set up in the pilot: Embed moments where Leisa and Sergio communicate wordlessly, indicating a deep, unspoken connection, amidst the chaos of forming the team.

Setup 7:

A. Possible reveal in future episode: Sky Queen’s past and her father’s disappearance are deeply entangled with the alien conspiracy.

B. Setup: She has a personal vendetta or mission related to her father that she keeps hidden.

C. How it could be set up in the pilot: Include a brief flashback or a moment where Sky Queen looks at an old photo of her father, then at a similar alien symbol in Nathan’s journal, linking her personal quest to the main plot.

Setup 8:

A. Possible reveal in future episode: The human-alien hybrid nature of Leisa’s family.

B. Setup: Subtle hints of Leisa’s and Nathan’s unusual abilities or resilience.

C. How it could be set up in the pilot: During the tribunal or in a high-stress situation, showcase a moment where Leisa or a flashback of Nathan exhibits brief, unexplained heightened senses or rapid healing, setting the stage for the reveal of their hybrid nature.

Setup 9:

A. Possible reveal in future episode: Bird Dog’s loyalty is tested when his arms dealings put the team in direct conflict with a dangerous alien faction.

B. Setup: Bird Dog is shown secretly communicating with an unknown contact, negotiating a deal for unconventional weapons.

C. How it could be set up in the pilot: During a team briefing or planning session, Bird Dog receives a discreet message on his phone, prompting him to leave the room urgently. This moment, coupled with his later examination of alien tech, suggests his deeper involvement in arms dealings that are not yet understood by the team or audience.

Setup 10:

A. Possible reveal in future episode: The discovery that the Department of Defense has been aware of and involved in the alien conspiracy for decades, including Leisa’s father’s role in it.

B. Setup: A high-ranking official makes a vague reference to past operations involving “non-traditional threats” during the tribunal.

C. How it could be set up in the pilot: In the midst of the tribunal chaos caused by the classified document leak, a brief exchange between two high-ranking military officials hints at a long-standing government cover-up. One of them mentions, “This goes way beyond her father’s time,” linking the current events to a deeper, historical conspiracy, and subtly foreshadowing Leisa’s personal connection to it.

AI ASKED HOW BEST TO INCORPORATE THE SETUPS

Setup 1: Mysterious symbols and Nathan’s abduction

Suited Act: Act 1. Introducing the symbols early establishes a central mystery that drives the narrative.

Setup 2: Capt Carl’s encrypted communications

Suited Act: Act 1 or Act 2. Revealing Carl’s secret communications can set up early doubts about his allegiance.

Setup 3: Bird Dog’s alien tech examination

Suited Act: Act 2. Placing this setup after the team faces their early challenges highlights the complexities of their situation.

Setup 4: Connie’s cryptic knowledge and informant

Suited Act: Act 3. This fits well with the theme of unveiling deeper layers of conspiracy and personal secrets.

Setup 5: Leisa finds alien tech hinting at disaster sites

Suited Act: Act 4. Discovering the tech during the raid perfectly leads into the climax and sets up the season’s broader scope.

Setup 6: Leisa and Sergio’s concealed romance

Suited Act: Act 1. Introducing their relationship dynamics early on adds a personal layer to the unfolding events.

Setup 7: Sky Queen’s personal vendetta

Suited Act: Act 2 or Act 3. As the team’s mission becomes clearer, revealing Sky Queen’s personal motives adds depth to her character and the overall plot.

Setup 8: Leisa and Nathan’s hybrid nature

Suited Act: Act 1 or Act 5. Teasing this aspect early or at the end as a cliffhanger can effectively bookend the pilot with intrigue.

Setup 9: Bird Dog’s secret negotiations

Suited Act: Act 2. This setup aligns with the theme of internal conflicts and external pressures the team faces early in their mission.

Setup 10: DOD’s long-standing alien conspiracy

Suited Act: Act 5. Placing this setup towards the end acts as a powerful cliffhanger, linking past to present and expanding the conspiracy beyond the pilot.

SETUPS INTEGRATED INTO OUTLINE

Teaser: Classified Document Leak

• Scene: Leisa faces accusations in a tribunal; security malfunctions and whispers hint at a conspiracy.

• Intrigue 1: Advanced security measures malfunction.

• Intrigue 2: Tribunal members whisper about classified documents.

• Intrigue 3: Leisa receives a premonitionary note.

• Twist: Classified documents leak, hinting at Nathan’s disappearance region.

• Setup 1: Documents contain Nathan’s journal with alien glyphs.

• Setup 10: Two high-ranking military officials hint at a long-standing government cover-up. One of them mentions, “This goes way beyond her father’s time.”

• Improve: Add visual cues of unease and strange technology behavior.

Act 1: Formation of the Rogue Team and Hidden Allies

• Scene: Leisa learns of Nathan’s kidnapping; Carl shows complex support.

• Intrigue 1: Nathan’s journal introduces a mysterious threat.

• Setup 1: Nathan’s journal with greater detail of alien glyphs.

• Intrigue 2: A suspicious agent warns about a unique symbol.

• Intrigue 3: Sky Queen senses something off, suggesting a team formation.

• Event: Sky Queen proposes a rogue team; Sergio fears fallout from their affair.

• Setup 6: Sergio and Leisa communicate wordlessly indicating deep connection.

• Twist: An anonymous message provides a cryptic clue.

• Setup 2: Carl hides (from everyone) a message received via an alien communication device.

• Improve: Link journal symbol and message to Nathan’s disappearance visually.

• Integration: Team witnesses a disaster’s aftermath, emphasizing mission stakes (Witnessing the Pain of Others).

Act 2: The Mission’s Early Challenges

• Scene: Team grapples with internal conflicts and logistical hurdles.

• Setup 3: Bird Dog examines alien technology from a seller only to dismiss it.

• Intrigue 1: Ammo swapped during target practice.

• Intrigue 2: Mysterious drone surveillance detected.

• Intrigue 3: Tracking devices found in gear.

• Setup 2: Possible expansion of Carl’s use of alien communications device.

• Event: Setbacks test the team’s resolve, including unusual technology.

• Twist: Monitored by an unknown entity.

• Improve: Team traces drone origin, adding mystery and tension.

• Integration: A failed operation using alien tech leads to frantic mitigation efforts (Plans that Failed).

• Setup 9: Bird Dog negotiates for alien tech after demonstration.

Act 3: Carl’s Duality and Unforeseen Consequences

• Event: Covert operations reveal team dynamics and Carl’s cryptic support.

• Intrigue 1: Carl suspects they’re being followed.

• Intrigue 2: Carl offers deceptive support, canceling Leisa’s leave.

• Intrigue 3: Carl receives a message hinting at higher power involvement.

• Twist: Carl’s misinformation leads to a compromised operation.

• Setup 7: Sky Queen’s glances at a picture of her father looking at a drawing of a glyph.

• Improve: Highlight Carl’s duplicity and complex military involvement.

• Integration: A team member betrays, leaking information (Betrayal).

• Setup 4: Connie briefs a hidden informant stating that he’s in the know and will keep it secret.

Act 4: Daring Raid and Unforeseen Revelations

• Scene: Raid on a facility believed to hold Nathan uncovers a broader conspiracy.

• Setup 5: The team discovers a holographic map of Earth marked with specific locations.

• Intrigue 1: Victims show strange behavior and can’t describe experiences.

• Intrigue 2: Victims don’t recognize Nathan.

• Intrigue 3: A booby trap injures Connie, suggesting alien tech.

• Event: Clues hint at a dangerous conspiracy; team’s bond solidifies.

• Twist: New threats emerge; raid’s mystery deepens.

• Improve: Incorporate alien elements in the raid’s location.

• Integration: Team suffers a major loss, underscoring mission’s danger (Major Loss).

Act 5: New Alliances and Future Battles

• Scene: Team regroups, planning next steps with new alliances in mind.

• Setup 8: Not noticed by anyone, Leisa cuts herself and heals very quickly.

• Intrigue 1: Connie’s wounds heal rapidly, hinting at alien tech. Contrary to Leisa’s healing.

• Intrigue 2: A distant earthquake-like rumble causes fear.

• Event: Discovery of significant clues and Connie’s healing.

• Cliffhanger: Mysterious message foreshadows future challenges.

• Integration: Journalist threatens to expose operations, challenging their secrecy (Exposed).

[Bob Creager]

Bob Builds Empathy and Distress

1. Existing empathy and distress:

Undeserved misfortune: Leisa’s court martial; Nathan’s disappearance.

External character conflicts: Sky Queen and Sergio disagree about forming the team; Sergio’s fiancée interferes.

Plot intruding on life: Difficulty conducting rogue missions because of Marine duties.

Plans that failed: Plan to conduct a mission fails because of Carl’s change of her orders.

Witnessing the pain of others: Team encounters kidnap victims.

Extreme consequences: Risk of death or capture without backup when conducting rogue missions.

Major loss: Frequent setbacks/compromises to completing mission

Brings their wound present: Leisa’s grief for losing Nathan fuels her actions.

2. Add to scenes’ empathy/distress:

5-act structure =

Teaser: Classified Document Leak

Scene: Leisa faces accusations in a tribunal; security malfunctions and whispers hint at a conspiracy.

Intrigue 1: Advanced security measures malfunction.

Intrigue 2: Tribunal members whisper about classified documents.

Intrigue 3: Leisa receives a premonitionary note.

Twist: Classified documents leak, hinting at Nathan’s disappearance region.

Improve: Add visual cues of unease and strange technology behavior.

Act 1: Formation of the Rogue Team and Hidden Allies

Scene: Leisa learns of Nathan’s kidnapping; Carl shows complex support.

Intrigue 1: Nathan’s journal introduces a mysterious threat.

Intrigue 2: A suspicious agent warns about a unique symbol.

Intrigue 3: Sky Queen senses something off, suggesting a team formation.

Event: Sky Queen proposes a rogue team; Sergio fears fallout from their affair.

Twist: An anonymous message provides a cryptic clue.

Improve: Link journal symbol and message to Nathan’s disappearance visually.

Integration: Team witnesses a disaster’s aftermath, emphasizing mission stakes (Witnessing the Pain of Others).

Act 2: The Mission’s Early Challenges

Scene: Team grapples with internal conflicts and logistical hurdles.

Intrigue 1: Ammo swapped during target practice.

Intrigue 2: Mysterious drone surveillance detected.

Intrigue 3: Tracking devices found in gear.

Event: Setbacks test the team’s resolve, including unusual technology.

Twist: Monitored by an unknown entity.

Improve: Team traces drone origin, adding mystery and tension.

Integration: A failed operation using alien tech leads to frantic mitigation efforts (Plans that Failed).

Act 3: Carl’s Duality and Unforeseen Consequences

Event: Covert operations reveal team dynamics and Carl’s cryptic support.

Intrigue 1: Carl suspects they’re being followed.

Intrigue 2: Carl offers deceptive support, canceling Leisa’s leave.

Intrigue 3: Carl receives a message hinting at higher power involvement.

Twist: Carl’s misinformation leads to a compromised operation.

Improve: Highlight Carl’s duplicity and complex military involvement.

Integration: A team member betrays, leaking information (Betrayal).

Act 4: Daring Raid and Unforeseen Revelations

Scene: Raid on a facility believed to hold Nathan uncovers a broader conspiracy.

Intrigue 1: Victims show strange behavior and can’t describe experiences.

Intrigue 2: Victims don’t recognize Nathan.

Intrigue 3: A booby trap injures Connie, suggesting alien tech.

Event: Clues hint at a dangerous conspiracy; team’s bond solidifies.

Twist: New threats emerge; raid’s mystery deepens.

Improve: Incorporate alien elements in the raid’s location.

Integration: Team suffers a major loss, underscoring mission’s danger (Major Loss).

Act 5: New Alliances and Future Battles

Scene: Team regroups, planning next steps with new alliances in mind.

Intrigue 1: Connie’s wounds heal rapidly, hinting at alien tech.

Intrigue 2: A distant earthquake-like rumble causes fear.

Event: Discovery of significant clues and Connie’s healing.

Cliffhanger: Mysterious message foreshadows future challenges.

Integration: Journalist threatens to expose operations, challenging their secrecy (Exposed).

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Open Loops and Mysteries

What I learned: Each lesson builds on the earlier ones.

1. Find 5 open loops and 5 mysteries from the current outline.

Main Mystery: What is the true nature and purpose behind the covert operation hinted at by the classified documents leak, and how is it connected to Nathan’s disappearance?

Sub-Mysteries:

What is the significance of the unidentifiable symbol embedded in the message to Leisa?

Why were Nathan’s personal effects devoid of electronics but included a journal referring to an unknown threat?

Who is the suspicious agent who took Nathan’s journal, and what is their real identity and agenda?

How are Bird Dog’s illegal gun dealings connected to the larger conspiracy?

What is the nature of the unusual technology encountered by the team, and where does it originate from?

Who sent the anonymous message to Leisa, and how do they know about Nathan’s last known location?

What led to the victims’ inability to describe their experiences or recognize Nathan in the facility?

Main Open Loop: What will the mysterious message received at the end of Act 5 reveal about the future challenges the team will face, indicating the fight against an unseen enemy is far from over?

Sub-Open Loops:

Who is the unknown entity monitoring the team’s efforts, and what are their interests in Nathan’s case?

What will be the consequences of Carl’s betrayal and his complex position within the military hierarchy?

How will the team address and utilize the inexplicable healing of Connie’s injury discovered in Act 5?

What are the implications of the unusual technology and the drones that seem to be tracking the team?

What will the rapid healing of Connie’s legs imply for the understanding of the technology or powers at play?

How will the strange behavior of the rescued victims and the inability to identify Nathan affect the team’s next steps?

What is the significance of the distant earthquake-like rumble experienced by the victims, and does it hint at a larger, possibly extraterrestrial threat?

How will Bird Dog’s provision of team equipment, now known to be a potential threat, impact the team’s dynamics and trust moving forward?

5. Make sure your mysteries are strong.

Mystery 1

Shocking Event: The leak of classified documents hinting at a covert operation connected to Nathan’s disappearance.

Secret: The true nature and purpose behind the covert operation.

Investigation: Leisa and her team’s efforts to uncover the truth behind Nathan’s disappearance and the classified documents.

Improve: Bold the investigation process by including more proactive steps taken by Leisa and her team, showing their skills and determination.

Mystery 2

Cover-up: Efforts to hide the existence and purpose of the alien race’s intervention on Earth.

Secret: The alien race’s plan to train abducted humans, including Nathan, to prevent catastrophic events.

Reveals: Gradual uncovering of the alien race’s activities and the involvement of Leisa’s family.

Improve: Bold the implications of the cover-up through subtle encounters with advanced technology and hints at alien surveillance.

REVISED 5-ACT STRUCTURE

Teaser: Classified Document Leak

Scene: (Flash Forward) The series opens with Leisa Hunter standing before a military tribunal, facing serious accusations. The tension is high, signaling grave consequences.

Intrigue 1: Intriguing World – The courtroom is filled with advanced security measures that eerily malfunction just before the leak.

Intrigue 2: Conspiracy – Whispers among a few tribunal members suggest they know more about the classified documents than they let on.

Intrigue 3: Secret – Leisa receives a premonitionary note just moments before the leak occurs.

Twist: The proceedings are unexpectedly disrupted by a leak of classified documents on the courtroom’s displays, hinting at a covert operation in the region Nathan disappeared from, but without directly mentioning him. The leak throws the tribunal into chaos, suggesting Leisa is entangled in a deeper military secret.

Improve: Enhance the tension by adding visual cues of the tribunal’s members’ unease and technology reacting strangely to an unseen threat, deepening the sense of conspiracy.

Act 1: Formation of the Rogue Team and Hidden Allies

Scene: Amid her corpsman duties, Leisa learns of Nathan’s kidnapping, fueling her determination to save him. Carl observes her plight with a complex mixture of authority and subtle encouragement.

Intrigue 1: Mystery – Nathan’s personal effects, highlighting a journal with an unknown threat.

Intrigue 2: Mystery/Secret Identity – A suspicious agent’s warning and the journal’s unique symbol.

Intrigue 3: Deception – Sky Queen’s intuition that something is off.

Event: Sky Queen proposes creating a rogue team to rescue Nathan, driven by both her altruism and feelings for Leisa. Meanwhile, Sergio, conflicted by his romance with Leisa and his engagement, attempts to dissuade her, fearing the fallout.

Twist: An anonymous message with a cryptic clue and an unidentifiable symbol.

Improve: Introduce visual clues or flashbacks tied to the symbol in the journal and the anonymous message, linking them to Nathan’s disappearance and hinting at a larger mystery.

Act 2: The Mission’s Early Challenges

Scene: The newly formed team starts to plan their mission, leveraging each member’s unique skills while grappling with their personal conflicts and the complexities of their unofficial status.

Intrigue 1: Hidden Agenda – Swapped ammo during target practice.

Intrigue 2: Mystery – A mysterious drone’s surveillance.

Intrigue 3: Deception – Discovery of tracking devices in their gear.

Event: They are tested by early setbacks, including logistical hurdles and doubts from within their ranks after encountering unusual technology.

Twist: Evidence of being monitored by an unknown entity.

Improve: Introduce a subplot where the team attempts to trace the drone’s origin, only to lead to more questions, adding layers to the mystery. Amplify the tension by showing the team’s growing suspicion and paranoia, perhaps through encrypted communications or unexplained equipment malfunctions, hinting at advanced surveillance technology.

Act 3: Carl’s Duality and Unforeseen Consequences

Event: The team’s first covert operations start to show promise, revealing their individual strengths and weaknesses, alongside the complexity of their interpersonal dynamics. Carl’s cryptic support continues, providing the team with unseen assistance, while Sky Queen reminds them that more is at stake than just Nathan.

Intrigue 1: Conspiracy – Carl wonders if they are being followed.

Intrigue 2: Deception – Carl’s deceptive offer and cancellation of Leisa’s leave.

Intrigue 3: Secret Identity – Carl receives a cryptic message, hinting at his involvement with higher powers.

Twist: Misinformation from Carl leading to a compromised operation.

Improve: Highlight Carl’s duplicity with more scenes of his behind-the-scenes maneuvering, adding layers to his character and the complexity of the military’s involvement.

Act 4: Daring Raid and Unforeseen Revelations

Scene: The team executes a daring raid on a facility believed to be holding Nathan, showcasing their resolve and commitment.

Intrigue 1: Strange Behavior – Victims’ inability to describe their experiences.

Intrigue 2: Strange Behavior – Lack of recognition for Nathan among the victims.

Intrigue 3: Intrigue – A booby trap explodes with pellet-like balls that leave wounds in Connie’s legs.

Event: Their efforts, while not leading to Nathan, uncover significant clues hinting at a broader, more dangerous conspiracy, leaving them with more questions.

Twist: The aftermath exposes them to new threats but also solidifies their bond, committing them further to their cause despite escalating danger.

Improve: Deepen the mystery of the raid’s location by incorporating elements that are clearly out of place or technologically advanced, suggesting alien involvement.

Act 5: New Alliances and Future Battles

Scene: Facing the implications of their discoveries, the team must regroup and plan their next steps, aware their mission has only just begun.

Intrigue 1: Mystery – Rapid healing of Connie’s legs.

Intrigue 2: Strange Behavior – A rumble like a distant earthquake causes fear in the victims.

Event: Significant clues uncovered and Connie’s inexplicable healing.

Cliffhanger: Receipt of a mysterious message indicating future challenges.

Improve:
Use the rapid healing and the earthquake-like rumble as foreshadowing of the
alien’s advanced technology and t

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Stacking Intrigue

What I learned: Each step builds on the intrigue of the overall story.

1. List of turning points:

Act 1 — An anonymous message arrives late at night, providing Leisa with a cryptic clue about Nathan’s last known location, with an unidentifiable symbol embedded in the message.

Act 2 – They uncover evidence that their efforts are being monitored, not just by military intelligence but possibly by another, unknown entity with interests in Nathan’s case.

Act 3 – An operation is compromised due to misinformation relayed by Carl, acting under direct orders from higher-ups. This betrayal, meant to protect the team, forces them to confront the mission’s dangers and the conspiracy within the military, tightening their bond and resolve.

Act 4 – The aftermath exposes them to new threats but also solidifies their bond, committing them further to their cause despite escalating danger.

Act 5 – The episode closes with the team receiving a mysterious message that propels them toward the next phase of their journey, indicating that the real challenge lies ahead, and the fight against the unseen enemy is far from over.

2. Intrigue:

Act 1

Intrigue 1: Mystery. Nathan’s personal effects are given to Leisa. No electronics. Only a journal that refers to an unknown threat.

Intrigue 2: Mystery/Secret Identity. A suspicious agent takes his journal, warns her of her duty to the country. The journal has a unique symbol on the cover.

Intrigue 3: Deception. Sky Queen thinks something’s off, suggests going after him.

Act 2

Intrigue 1: Hidden Agenda. The team goes for target practice with Bird Dog’s weapons. The ammo was swapped to the wrong size.

Intrigue 2: Mystery. An unusual drone follows them, pops up occasionally.

Intrigue 3:

Act 3

Intrigue 1: Conspiracy. Carl wonders if they are being followed.

Intrigue 2: Deception. Carl gives Leisa a four-day weekend for “personal reasons” but cancels it while her mission is in progress forcing an abort.

Intrigue 3:

Act 4

Intrigue 1: Strange Behavior. The partially successful rescue mission finds victims with the inability to describe most of what happened to them.

Intrigue 2: Strange Behavior. Evidence that Nathan was there exists, but the victims are unable to identify him.

Intrigue 3: Intrigue. A booby trap explodes with pellet-like balls that leave wounds in Connie’s legs.

Act 5

Intrigue 1: While preparing to evac Connie, they notice rapid healing of his legs.

Intrigue 2: Strange Behavior. A rumble like a distant earthquake causes fear in the victims.

Intrigue 3:

3. 5-Act Structure Bob’s version merged with AI’s version

Teaser: Classified Document Leak

Scene: The series opens with Leisa Hunter standing before a military tribunal, facing serious accusations. The tension is high, signaling grave consequences.

Intrigue 1: Intriguing World – The courtroom is filled with advanced security measures that eerily malfunction just before the leak.

Intrigue 2: Conspiracy – Whispers among a few tribunal members suggest they know more about the classified documents than they let on.

Intrigue 3: Secret – Leisa receives a premonitionary note just moments before the leak occurs.

Twist: The proceedings are unexpectedly disrupted by a leak of classified documents on the courtroom’s displays, hinting at a covert operation in the region Nathan disappeared from, but without directly mentioning him. The leak throws the tribunal into chaos, suggesting Leisa is entangled in a deeper military secret.

Improve: Enhance the tension by adding visual cues of the tribunal’s members’ unease and technology reacting strangely to an unseen threat, deepening the sense of conspiracy.

Act 1: Formation of the Rogue Team and Hidden Allies

Scene: Amid her corpsman duties, Leisa learns of Nathan’s kidnapping, fueling her determination to save him. Carl observes her plight with a complex mixture of authority and subtle encouragement.

Intrigue 1: Mystery – Nathan’s personal effects are given to Leisa. No electronics. Only a journal that refers to an unknown threat.

Intrigue 2: Mystery/Secret Identity – A suspicious agent takes his journal, warns her of her duty to the country. The journal has a unique symbol on the cover.

Intrigue 3: Deception – Sky Queen thinks something’s off, suggests going after him.

Event: Sky Queen proposes creating a rogue team to rescue Nathan, driven by both her altruism and feelings for Leisa. Meanwhile, Sergio, conflicted by his romance with Leisa and his engagement, attempts to dissuade her, fearing the fallout.

Twist: An anonymous message arrives late at night, providing Leisa with a cryptic clue about Nathan’s last known location, with an unidentifiable symbol embedded in the message.

Improve: To heighten intrigue, show brief flashbacks of Nathan’s last days through quick cuts as Leisa touches his belongings, adding emotional depth and mystery.

Act 2: The Mission’s Early Challenges

Scene: The newly formed team starts to plan their mission, leveraging each member’s unique skills while grappling with their personal conflicts and the complexities of their unofficial status.

Intrigue 1: Hidden Agenda – The team goes for target practice with Bird Dog’s weapons. The ammo was swapped to the wrong size.

Intrigue 2: Mystery – An unusual drone follows them, pops up occasionally.

Intrigue 3: Deception – The team discovers tracking devices in their gear, not placed by any of them.

Event: They are tested by early setbacks, including logistical hurdles and doubts from within their ranks after encountering unusual technology.

Twist: They uncover evidence that their efforts are being monitored, not just by military intelligence but possibly by another, unknown entity with interests in Nathan’s case.

Improve: Introduce a subplot where the team attempts to trace the drone’s origin, only to lead to more questions, adding layers to the mystery.

Act 3: Carl’s Duality and Unforeseen Consequences

Event: The team’s first covert operations start to show promise, revealing their individual strengths and weaknesses, alongside the complexity of their interpersonal dynamics. Carl’s cryptic support continues, providing the team with unseen assistance, while Sky Queen reminds them that more is at stake than just Nathan.

Intrigue 1: Conspiracy – Carl wonders if they are being followed.

Intrigue 2: Deception – Carl gives Leisa a four-day weekend for “personal reasons” but cancels it while her mission is in progress forcing an abort.

Intrigue 3: Secret Identity – Carl receives a cryptic message, hinting at his involvement with higher powers.

Twist: An operation is compromised due to misinformation relayed by Carl, acting under direct orders from higher-ups. This betrayal, meant to protect the team, forces them to confront the mission’s dangers and the conspiracy within the military, tightening their bond and resolve.

Improve: Deepen Carl’s character by showing his internal struggle through subtle expressions and hesitant actions before betraying the team, making the twist more impactful.

Act 4: Daring Raid and Unforeseen Revelations

Scene: The team executes a daring raid on a facility believed to be holding Nathan, showcasing their resolve and commitment.

Intrigue 1: Strange Behavior – The partially successful rescue mission finds victims with the inability to describe most of what happened to them.

Intrigue 2: Strange Behavior – Evidence that Nathan was there exists, but the victims are unable to identify him.

Intrigue 3: Intrigue – A booby trap explodes with pellet-like balls that leave wounds in Connie’s legs.

Event: Their efforts, while not leading to Nathan, uncover significant clues hinting at a broader, more dangerous conspiracy, leaving them with more questions.

Twist: The aftermath exposes them to new threats but also solidifies their bond, committing them further to their cause despite escalating danger.

Improve: Highlight the emotional turmoil of the team as they process the raid’s outcome, juxtaposing their frustration with their strengthened resolve, adding depth to their unity.

Act 5: New Alliances and Future Battles

Scene: Facing the implications of their discoveries, the team must regroup and plan their next steps, aware their mission has only just begun.

Intrigue 1: Mystery – While preparing to evac Connie, they notice rapid healing of his legs.

Intrigue 2: Strange Behavior – A rumble like a distant earthquake causes fear in the victims.

Event: Their efforts, while not leading to Nathan, uncover significant clues and inexplicable healing of Connie’s injury.

Cliffhanger: The episode closes with the team receiving a mysterious message that propels them toward the next phase of their journey, indicating that the real challenge lies ahead, and the fight against the unseen enemy is far from over.

Improve: Add a scene where the team collectively experiences a shared vision triggered by the mysterious message, suggesting a psychic or extraterrestrial influence, enhancing the intrigue and setting the stage for future episodes.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Layers and Reveals

What I learned: This added a little more intrigue to the outline.

1. Existing Layers and Reveals

Character Layers

Surface: Leisa is a dedicated corpsman and sister on a mission to rescue her brother.

<ul type=”disc”>

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Character Story Lines

What I learned: Completing the character story lines and then merging them into the 5-act structure leads to a more complete outline.

Rogue Warrior

Teaser: Classified Document Leak

<ul type=”disc”>

[Bob Creager]

Mod 3 Lesson 3

Bob’s Pilot Structure

What I learned: The AI version is a bit long-winded but it contains most of what is needed for the pilot.

1. Present the first draft of your pilot Acts.

Teaser:

<ul type=”disc”>

[Bob Creager]

Mod 3 Lesson 2

Bob’s Amazing Inciting Incident

What I learned: It’s interesting to see how my idea of the pilot changed when I was forced to identify the twists first and build around them.

1. What is the “Inciting Incident” of your series that this pilot needs to deliver powerfully?

When Leisa’s brother is believed to be kidnapped by terrorists, she defies the U.S. military’s refusal to act by assembling a team of retired military operatives for her own rescue mission.

Intriguing Concept: A skilled Navy Corpsman leads a renegade covert team to rescue her brother only to be forced by her Marine commanding officer to execute future secret missions on his behalf.

Act 1: Serves as a Navy Corpsman, assigned to a Marine combat unit. Her missions fail because of her physical short comings and personal distractions with an engaged ex-boyfriend.

Midpoint: We learn that Leisa became an enlisted corpsman because as an officer nurse, she was not allowed to go on combat missions. Her request to participate in the rescue of her father who was held hostage by the Taliban was denied. Leisa forms a team of retired Marine’s and Sailors whose purpose is to launch a rescue of her brother.

Lock In: Leisa was manipulated to form her team and commit them to a rescue effort that gained worldwide publicity. If she continues to run her team, her Marine commanding officer will protect her secret. Failure to do so leads to court martial, jail, and expulsion from the Navy.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Big Picture Components

What I learned: I had all of this information in the bible or framework so I only had to pluck it out.

1. Give us the basic Series Info:

TITLE: ROGUE WARRIOR

SERIES INFO:

· World: The violent world of Marine Special Operations and extraterrestrial infiltration.

· Main mystery: Finding the common element behind all the disappearances.

· Impossible Goal: Initiate a rescue mission for Leisa’s brother without the Marine Corps knowing.

· Main Conflict: Leisa will be court martialed if she does. Her brother will never be rescued

· Second Mystery: What do the aliens want?

· Season 1 Arc: When her brother is kidnapped, she builds a team of retired warriors to rescue him. When found, she learns that her brother was not kidnapped, but recruited to help the aliens.

· Season 1 Protagonist Internal Journey: From being abandoned by her ex, the government, and losing her brother to finding her brother and parents that she thought were dead and establishing a partial relationship with her ex.

2. Tell us the basic Pilot Info:

PILOT INFO:

· Pilot Conflict: Leisa must build a team without the Marines knowing.

· Characters Introduced: Leisa, Sergio, Sky Queen, Bird Dog, Connie, Capt Carl, Nathan

Inciting Incident of Season
1: Nathan is kidnapped and Leisa decides to save him.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Visually Appealing Bible

What I learned: I may never master image generation with AI but even with what limited knowledge I have on how best to do so, I see the promise for the future.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Edited TV Pitch Bible

What I learned: I love the editing process because it means I’m done with the dreaded bible and can move on. The checklist-style of items to do makes it so you don’t forget anything.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Episode Titles

What I learned: It’s a lot easier if you pick a theme. I used movie titles for most of my episode titles.

Episode Titles:

1. Rogue Warriors

2. Night at the Museum

3. Queen’s Gambit

4. Team’s Shadow Bargain

5. Perilous Rescue

6. Rogue Redemption

7. Close Encounters

8. The Truth Unveiled

Season Titles:

Season 1: “Hidden Alliances”

Season 2: “Global Backlash”

Season 3: “Consequences Unleashed”

Season 4: “Worlds Collide”

Season 5: “Final Frontier”

[Bob Creager]

Bob Presents Non-Stop Intrigue

What I learned: The pre-lesson bible was full of AI generated “blah” phrases. This technique cleared up that little problem.

When I looked at some of the lines in a standalone fashion, they tended towards fluff words that did not tell much of the story or the characters in the story. I took apart many of the paragraphs, pulled out the meat, and reinserted it in a more intriguing way.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Intrigue Patterns

What I learned: Very helpful having the examples in the lesson otherwise it might be overwhelming.

1. Pull out your TV Pitch Bible. Read through it and find ONE line you would like to be more intriguing.

From the Character Descriptions: MC(SO) Constantine “Connie” Gazis, a retired Navy SEAL is embroiled in a covert struggle for survival.

2. Rethink that line using ALL these patterns:

A. Establish something shocking and point to the terrible things it could mean.

MC(SO) Constantine “Connie” Gazis, retired Navy SEAL, overcome by revenge against a cowardly Marine he holds responsible for the death of his swim buddy, joins Leisa’s Rogue Warriors with the hope that he will get even with the Marine responsible.

B. Strong statement; question about something underhanded beneath the surface.

MC(SO) Constantine “Connie” Gazis, retired Navy SEAL, plans to manipulate Leisa’s Rogue Warriors to carry out his plan to destroy the Marine unit responsible for the death of his swim buddy.

C. Question that points to hidden agendas, hidden identity, conspiracy, etc..

MC(SO) Constantine “Connie” Gazis, retired Navy SEAL, plans to manipulate Leisa – who is secretly aware of Connie’s plan — to carry out his vendetta to destroy the Marine unit responsible for the death of his swim buddy.

D. Character 1 is convinced/worried/wondering that Character 2 has done _____________.

MC(SO) Constantine “Connie” Gazis, former Navy SEAL, lost his swim buddy because of the cowardice of a Marine, causes Leisa to worry she made a mistake adding him to the Rogue Warriors.

E. But maybe it is all wrong.

MC(SO) Constantine “Connie” Gazis, a former Navy SEAL, appears to only be concerned with finding and eliminating the Marine responsible for his swim buddy’s death, but may just be using that as a cover for something worse, his spying on his teammates.

F. A Pattern that Leads to Future Consequences

MC(SO) Constantine “Connie” Gazis, the ultimate Navy SEAL, but will his quest for revenge against the Marine he holds responsible for the death of his swim buddy, place the Rogue Warriors at risk..

G. If he does ________________, that means ___Intrigue_____.

MC(SO) Constantine “Connie” Gazis, a former Navy SEAL, the most combat-experienced member of the Rogue Warriors would always place his team above all others unless his professionalism is overcome by his determination to seek revenge for the loss of his swim buddy.

H. State the mystery.

MC(SO) Constantine “Connie” Gazis, a former Navy SEAL, the most combat-experienced member of the Rogue Warriors, frequently places his unknown mission above that of the Rogue Warriors.

I. Should be/could be _______, but it is even worse.

MC(SO) Constantine “Connie” Gazis, a highly decorated Navy SEAL, should be the poster boy of loyalty and patriotism, but will his vendetta against a fellow sailor destroy that reputation?

J. Intense language.

MC(SO) Constantine “Connie” Gazis, a highly decorated Navy SEAL, should be the poster boy of loyalty and patriotism, but will his drive to kill impact the diplomacy required of the Rogue Warriors?

3. Replace the existing line.

MC(SO) Constantine “Connie” Gazis, retired Navy SEAL, plans to manipulate Leisa – who is secretly aware of Connie’s plan — to carry out his vendetta to destroy the Marine unit responsible for the death of his swim buddy.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s TV Pitch Bible Investigation

What I learned: It was a bit of a struggle answering the questions until I pulled out the Framework and took it line-by-line looking for ideas. Then it picked up and was easier to complete.

1. Something beneath the surface:

a. Leisa’s brother Nathan was abducted for a reason. Their father, presumed dead but also abducted, now runs a team of aliens/humans who prevent man/alien-made cataclysmic events. He directed the recruitment of Nathan and the involvement of Leisa in the battle to protect Earth.

b. Connie is driven by a hidden desire for revenge against a Marine involved in his past SEAL operations.

c. Sergio is pressured by his fiancée who becomes aware of his relationship with Leisa leading to the risk of exposure of the rogue warriors and their missions.

d. Sergio’s fiancée could be manipulated by Capt Carl to gain information on the rogue warriors.

2. Investigate by picking situations and characters and asking:

a. Tool 1: Dig: What’s beneath that?

i. Nathan (series arc)

1. Leisa’s brother Nathan kidnapped by terrorists.

2. Nathan not kidnapped but abducted by aliens.

3. Aliens are friendly and have recruited Nathan to fight for them.

4. Aliens are believed to be behind major attacks.

5. An evil race of Aliens are behind the attacks.

6. The evil race wants to eliminate humans so they can mine the planet.

ii. Attack on North Korea (season 2)

1. Rogue Warriors use of technology of unknown origin (Pleiadian), a directed EMP, take out a DPRK missile believed to be nuclear tipped.

2. The US government blamed for using new weapon.

3. Wasn’t nuclear. Was an agroterrorism attack aimed at the U.S.

4. DIA agents investigate, learn of the alien connection, threaten the team unless they turn over the weapon. They refuse. Capt Carl ordered to ally with the Rogue Warriors and report back to DIA.

iii. Attack of The Grays (aliens) (season 3)

1. Aliens publicly exposed as behind preventing DPRK attack

2. Learn that another alien race, The Grays, were supplying weapons to DPRK

3. Public uproar against all aliens.

b. Tool 2: Extrapolate: If _­________, then ___________.

i. Tool 2: Extrapolate: If _ancient secrets twist loyalties_, then _what are some of the secrets: DIA hiding their interests in alien tech; Bird Dog blackmailed into providing alien tech to terrorists; Sky Queen offered advanced medical care and reinstatement into Marines if she spies for DIA_.

ii. Tool 2: Extrapolate: If _the season 4 ICBM showdown has major opposition, then _what would happen if the citizenry rose up in opposition to using alien tech?

iii. Tool 2: Extrapolate: If most of the main and connected characters have an alien connection in their past, then _who manipulated them together?

c. Tool 3: Wonder: What if ______________?

i. Tool 3: Wonder: What if _Capt Carl has the key to locating Nathan_?

ii. Tool 3: Wonder: What if _discovering Bird Dog’s alien weapon’s sale links the Rogue Warriors to a terrorist attack_?

iii. Tool 3: Wonder: What if _Leisa’s mother was an alien and she abducted her husband and son and manipulated Leisa into being part of the solution?

iv. Tool 3: Wonder: What if _all terrorists groups form an alliance against the West as they believe the West is behind the attacks?

d. Tool 4: Backtrack: How could ______________ have happened?

i. Tool 4: Backtrack: How could __season 3’s military betrayal_ have happened?

ii. Tool 4: Backtrack: How could ______________ have happened?

e. Tool 5: Forecast: How could this get even worse?

i. Tool 5: Forecast: How could this get even worse? Other alien races join in the battle for Earth.

ii. Tool 5: Forecast: How could this get even worse? One of the team members or MSOT Marines is an shapeshifting alien (the bad guys.)

iii. Tool 5: Forecast: How could this get even worse?

3. Evaluate the possibilities and decide what you are going to use in the different parts of your TV Pitch Bible. Divide the answers into three categories:

a. Use in TV Pitch Bible. 1.a and 2.c.iii – Summary — Leisa’s mother a human/alien hybrid; 1.b Character – Connie; 1.c Character – Sergio; 2.a.iii Season 3 arc, The Grays are revealed as the evil aliens; 2.b.ii Season 4 – Rogue Warriors attack ICBM site taken over by The Grays raising opposition to their actions

b. Use in Episodes. 1.d Season 1 – Fiancée manipulated by Capt Carl; 2.a.i. Nathan and multiple alien races revealed across series; 2.a.ii Season 2 – DPRK attack was to stop agroterrorism, public believes U.S. initiated attack on DPRK; 2.b.i Series: If/then – If ancient secrets twist loyalties…; 2.b.iii Series – Who manipulated the formation of the Rogue Warriors? 2.c.i – Episode 6/7 – Capt Carl has key to finding Nathan; 2.e.i – Series Conclusion — Other alien races join the final battle.

c. Don’t use. 2.c.ii Bird Dog sells alien tech; 2.c.iv – Terrorists unite to fight their enemy, the west; 3.d.i – Season 3 – how does military betrayal occur; 3.e.ii – One of the team members or military is a shapeshifting alien.

4. For any parts where there is a substantial improvement, rewrite those parts of the TV Pitch Bible. Then, tell us what parts you changed and give a quick description of what you did.

a. 1.a. Adding that Leisa’s mother is a human-alien hybrid that is responsible for abducting her brother and father to be part of the human/alien team to protect Earth. 1^st paragraph of Summary.

b. 1.b. Character: Connie – Added that he is seeking revenge against a Marine he holds responsible for a failed SEAL mission.

c. 1.c Character – Sergio – expanded on his struggle involving his love interests, Leisa and his fiancée.

d. 2.a.iii Season 3 – The race of evil aliens, The Grays, are revealed. They are responsible for many attacks blamed on terrorist groups.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Show Summary

What I learned: Take it one step at a time

1. Summary Format: Highlights of the Entire Season

2. Create an outline using this structure:

Set up — Character’s normal situation. – Hospital Corpsman, Leisa Hunter, is the new kid on the block on the Marine Raider Special Operations Team (MSOT). After hours, she hangs out with the veterans at the VFW and provides them with free medical care.

Twist/Hook – Leisa learns that terrorists have kidnapped her brother, Nathan. Her Marine commanding officer, Capt Carl, refuses to launch a rescue because of “orders from on high.”

Real situation – Major Empathy / Distress – Unable to instigate a rescue through official channels, Leisa creates a team of retired veterans to conduct their own mission.

Twist/Hook – As the mission unfolds, she “rescues” her brother who was not being held against his will. He volunteered to aid extraterrestrials in their mission to prevent catastrophic terrorist attacks.

Impossible to solve conflict or major mystery. – Leisa learns that the aliens are fighting not only terrorists but another alien race that wants to strip earth of its resources.

Final Hook into the Series – Extreme Dramatic Question – Leisa encounters an unknown entity that manipulates both alien races for its own, unknown purposes.

3. Rough Draft

Hospital Corpsman, Leisa Hunter, is the new kid on the block on the Marine Raider Special Operations Team (MSOT). After hours, she hangs out with the veterans at the VFW and provides them with free medical care.

Leisa learns that terrorists have kidnapped her brother, Nathan. Her Marine commanding officer, Capt Carl, refuses to launch a rescue because of “orders from on high.” Unable to instigate a rescue through official channels, Leisa creates a team of retired veterans to conduct their own mission. These rogue warriors all have something in common, they each have lost someone they love in mysterious circumstances.

Leisa, a relatively junior warrior, must corral these highly experienced fighters who each have their own issues. Bird Dog, the illegal arms dealer, places the team at risk of prison. Sky Queen, the medically retired helicopter pilot whose use of illegal pain medications hampers her ability, and the mission’s success, every time she goes airborne. And the apparently well-balanced Connie, the retired Navy SEAL has his own issues with PTSD. Throw in Leisa’s ex-boyfriend, a Navy officer, with his fiancé, and her love life becomes an impediment to effective missions.

After numerous misstarts and failed attempts, the rogue warriors “rescue” Leisa’s brother who was not being held prisoner against his will. He was recruited to join his father, who all thought had been executed, to aid extraterrestrials in their mission to prevent catastrophic terrorist attacks.

Leisa learns that the aliens are fighting not only those who want to destroy their vacation wonder land, but another alien race that wants to strip earth of its resources. The rogue warriors now find themselves in a three-front war, the Marine Corp who have ordered her to stand down, the aliens along with her father and brother who execute combat missions around the globe, and the unknown race of aliens.

But make that four. Leisa encounters an unknown entity that has been manipulating both alien races, the U.S. military and militaries around the world, all for its own, unknown purposes.

4. BARD response to creating the Season Summary.

Leisa Hunter – rogue medic, renegade leader – watches her world shatter when her brother vanishes along with a humanitarian mission. Ignored by authority, she assembles a band of ex-military misfits, their only lead a classified whisper of an extraterrestrial threat. But as they plunge into the darkness, their daring rescue unearths a hidden truth – Nathan’s disappearance was no accident. He’s chosen, recruited by aliens to avert a cataclysm with humanity at the center.

Their hunt for Nathan becomes a descent into a rabbit hole of conspiracies. Ancient secrets twist loyalties, exposing double agents and demons within the team itself. Sky Queen’s addiction threatens to unravel their precarious grip on sanity, while Bird Dog’s past as a black-market arms dealer sets them on a collision course with betrayal. Connie, haunted by a fatal mission gone wrong, faces his ghosts in an alien facility, a ticking clock counting down their lives.

Caught in the crossfire of alien factions and a military determined to silence them, Leisa finds herself forced to forge a fragile alliance with her Marine commanding officer – Captain Carl, whose motives remain shrouded in shadows. Carl wants justice, not answers, and sees Leisa’s actions as a stain on his impeccable record. He pushes for a court-martial, dangling the threat of prison over her head while offering a path back into the fold – at the cost of abandoning her brother and the truth he holds.

Alien attacks ignite amidst a chaotic city, lines blurring between friend and foe. Leisa desperately searches for Nathan, a beacon of hope in the alien conspiracy, while protecting a fledgling alliance from annihilation. But as truth spills onto the battlefield, alliances shatter. Is Nathan the savior he claims to be, or humanity’s unwitting pawn in a galactic war? Can the Rogues, Marines, and a lone alien stand against the coming storm? With one final, desperate gambit, the fate of humanity hangs in the balance. Will they find redemption, reckoning, or the cold embrace of oblivion? The answer lies in the heart of a war they never sought, a war for the very soul of Earth.

Extreme Dramatic Question: In the aftermath of a city-wide alien attack, where humanity stands divided and Leisa faces down an unstoppable alien war machine, can she unite a fractured world on the brink of extinction, or will the final curtain fall on a human race consumed by its own secrets and betrayals?

ChatGPT response to creating the Pilot Summary

In the pilot episode of this one-hour Science Fiction TV series, Hospital Corpsman Leisa Hunter enters the Marine Raider Special Operations Team, embracing her new role while forming bonds with retired veterans at the VFW. However, her normal routine shatters when terrorists kidnap her brother, Nathan.

Struggling against bureaucratic limitations, Leisa faces a harsh reality as her Marine commanding officer, Capt Carl, refuses to sanction a rescue mission due to “orders from on high.” Left with no official recourse, Leisa takes a bold step, assembling a renegade team comprising retired veterans, determined to execute an unauthorized rescue operation for her brother.

As the conflict intensifies, classified records hint at a hidden extraterrestrial conspiracy lurking within military archives, adding layers of complexity to Leisa’s mission. Defying orders, she leads her team on a daring pursuit, navigating through obstacles and uncovering shocking revelations about an enigmatic entity manipulating events behind the scenes.

The pilot episode sets the stage for a gripping saga, thrusting Leisa into a world of relentless struggle, unearthing the first hints of an otherworldly conspiracy that promises to alter destinies and challenge the very fabric of humanity’s survival.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Episode Descriptions

What I learned: As in previous lessons, it is just one step at a time. No need to fear the assignment.

2. Bullet points:

Episode 1: “Rogue Rescuers”

• Hook/Intrigue: Leisa receives a cryptic message about her brother’s disappearance.

• Main Character journey: Leisa recruits the team and plans the rescue mission.

• Major Challenge/Conflict: Leisa builds team when Marines refuse to rescue her brother.

• Action/Reaction: Uncover security systems hindering their progress, initiating a daring escape

• Cliffhanger: Discovery of holographic archives reveals catastrophic attacks on Earth.

Episode 2: “Collateral Secrets”

• Hook/Intrigue: Team seeks answers after discovering holographic archives of alien attacks.

• Main Character journey: The lack of transparency between Sergio and Leisa creates a communication barrier.

• Major Challenge/Conflict: Deciphering clues while evading capture by unidentified operatives.

• Action/Reaction: Betrayal threatens the team’s safety and exposes a mole.

• Cliffhanger: A sudden power outage leaves them vulnerable in enemy territory.

Episode 3: “Sky Queen’s Demons”

• Hook/Intrigue: Navigating enemy terrain strains team; Sky Queen’s addiction intensifies tensions.

• Main Character journey: Sky Queen’s addiction complicates escape; flashbacks link it to aliens.

• Major Challenge/Conflict: Escaping, evading surveillance; Covert alien-infiltration scheme using veterans.

• Action/Reaction: Sky Queen’s drug dependency endangers escape risking capture.

• Cliffhanger: Distress signal reveals alien stronghold, igniting hope amidst threat.

Episode 4: “Bird Dog’s Betrayal”

• Hook/Intrigue: Bird Dog’s secret dealings are exposed, threatening the team’s trust.

• Main Character journey: Flashbacks show Bird Dog’s secret deals at expense of his unit.

• Major Challenge/Conflict: Negotiating with dangerous arms dealers for critical intel.

• Action/Reaction: Bird Dog is caught providing arms to the alien’s fighters.
• Cliffhanger: Bird Dog faces a choice between loyalty and personal gain.

Episode 5: “Connie’s Dilemma”

• Hook/Intrigue: Connie’s past as a SEAL operative resurfaces, haunting him.

• Main Character journey: Connie grapples with guilt over a fallen comrade.

• Major Challenge/Conflict: Unraveling a SEAL mission’s connection to the alien conspiracy.

• Action/Reaction: Connie’s risky move leads to a conflict within the team.

• Cliffhanger: The team is cornered by both military and alien forces.

Episode 6: “Captain’s Gambit”

• Hook/Intrigue: Captain Carl’s true intentions and loyalties become ambiguous.

• Main Character journey: Flashbacks reveal Carl’s ambitions and inner conflicts.

• Major Challenge/Conflict: A high-stakes confrontation between Carl and the rogue team escalates tensions.

• Action/Reaction: The team faces a critical decision to trust or confront Carl, leading to a standoff.

• Cliffhanger: A sudden assault by a shadowy alien faction disrupts their confrontation.

Episode 7: “Alien Encounters”

• Hook/Intrigue: The team ventures into an alien stronghold to rescue Leisa’s brother.

• Main Character journey: Unveiling the aliens’ true motives and technology.

• Major Challenge/Conflict: Escaping the alien stronghold amidst escalating hostilities.

• Action/Reaction: A showdown with alien enforcers tests the team’s resilience.

• Cliffhanger: Leisa’s brother reveals he’s working with the aliens willingly.

Episode 8: “Truth Unveiled”

• Hook/Intrigue: The team braces for an impending alien attack on their location.

• Main Character journey: Inner turmoil as each member wrestles with their alliances and ultimate loyalties.

• Major Challenge/Conflict: Racing against time to decipher the aliens’ true intentions and prevent the imminent attack.

• Action/Reaction: A tense standoff between the team, Leisa’s brother, and the aliens as the imminent attack draws near.

• Cliffhanger: The catastrophic alien attack is imminent, forcing an uneasy alliance between the team and Leisa’s brother, leaving their fate uncertain as the episode concludes.

3. Rough draft of episode descriptions.

Episode 1: “Rogue Rescuers”

Leisa’s treating a patient when a text comes in from her brother, Nathan, saying: “Don’t stress, all good.” A breaking news alert interrupts the TV show announcing that terrorists have just kidnapped the Habitat for Humanity team that her brother is with. After refusal from her chain of command to launch a rescue, she builds a team of retired Navy and Marines she calls her Rogue Warriors to launch their own rescue.

Efforts to gain intel about the terrorists leads the team to a classified archive attributed to the terrorist organization but containing information about extraterrestrials and historical attacks against various countries around the world. Information about foiled attacks is also present.

Episode 2: “Collateral Secrets”

The team breaks into the Marine Museum, discovers an archive of holographic images of attacks by unknown aircraft. Sergio’s opposition to their mission causes Leisa to question his motivation, wondering if it is retaliation for her breaking up with him.

The loss of their stolen artifacts during a raid by military police interrupts their attempts to decipher clues about who is behind the kidnapping of mostly military individuals. Sergio is accused of being a mole as the power is cut and the team is surrounded by police.

Episode 3: “Sky Queen’s Demons”

Leisa, injured in a parachute jump, forces her Marine unit to abort its mission. Simultaneously, Sky Queen’s drug use imperils Connie and Bird Dog’s mission to acquire specialized equipment for team use. With Leisa on crutches and SkyQueen flying, they search for their missing shipmates.

While the rescue proceeds, Leisa receives a cryptic text from Nathan that includes GPS coordinates.

Episode 4: “Bird Dog’s Betrayal”

When Leisa learns that Bird Dog is to be arrested for illegal weapons sales, the team pulls him out just before the ATF swoops in. Bird Dog reveals his history of putting his fellow Marines at risk because of his stealing their weapons and supplies.

Leisa turns this around by having Bird Dog negotiate with an arm’s buyer for critical intel about the locations of the missing military.

Episode 5: “Connie’s Dilemma”

In a flashback, Connie as a Navy SEAL is unable to save his swim buddy. Present day, Connie must rescue Bird Dog who is captured by the guards at an alien compound but fails. Sky Queen swoops in and rescues both with Leisa serving as the helicopter crewman to pull them in.

On the exfil, they dodge surface-to-air missiles and must crash land.

Episode 6: “Captain’s Gambit”

The Marine unit rescues the team and Capt Carl has Leisa arrested. Mysterious orders from on high releases Leisa to return to her duties. DIA/NCIS agents investigate the Marine unit and learn of the Rogue Warrior’s illegal weapons stash.

The team faces a critical decision to trust Carl to divert the agents when they close in. A sudden assault by a shadowy alien faction disrupts their confrontation.

Episode 7: “Alien Encounters”

Finally, the Marines and the Rogue Warriors work together, but with different motivations. The Marines protect the friendly aliens from attack by an unknown alien group. The Rogue Warriors try to rescue Leisa’s brother, only to be prevented by the attack.

The Marines evacuate the friendly aliens as the Rogue Warriors hunker down when their helicopter is blown up. Nathan refuses to leave as he states that Dad is alive and he needs me to rescue him.

Episode 8: “Truth Unveiled”

With all the Rogue Warriors except Bird Dog, and Sergio who arrived with the Marines, waiting for the hopeless attack to commence, Bird Dog arrives with an array of alien weaponry. Now the forces have become equal.

The catastrophic alien attack is imminent forcing an uneasy alliance between the team, Nathan, the Marines, and one remaining alien leaving their fate uncertain as the episode concludes.

BARD RESPONSES

Episode Descriptions for “Navy Recon (Rogue Warriors)”:

1. Rogue Rescuers:

Leisa’s brother vanishes with a Habitat for Humanity team. Ignored by superiors, she assembles a renegade squad, unearthing classified records hinting at an extraterrestrial conspiracy. Their daring rescue collides with hidden truths that shatter everything they know.

2. Collateral Secrets:

The hunt for Nathan intensifies as the Rogue Warriors infiltrate a military museum, uncovering holographic proof of alien attacks. Secrets surface, straining loyalties. Is Sergio a mole, or can Leisa trust him as the team faces a brutal police crackdown?

3. Sky Queen’s Demons:

Leisa’s reckless mission puts her team in jeopardy. Sky Queen’s addiction spirals, jeopardizing a crucial operation. A cryptic message from Nathan leads them deeper into the conspiracy, pushing the Rogues to the brink of survival.

4. Bird Dog’s Betrayal:

Bird Dog’s checkered past explodes as ATF closes in. The Rogues risk everything to save him, forcing him to confront his demons and leverage his black market connections for intel on the kidnapped soldiers, unlocking a terrifying network of alien influence.

5. Connie’s Dilemma:

Haunted by a past failure, Connie’s rescue attempt goes off the rails. Caught in an alien facility, he and Bird Dog face relentless guards. Sky Queen’s daring rescue pulls them back from the brink, but a fiery crash-landing leaves them trapped with a ticking clock.

6. Captain’s Gambit:

Rescued by the Marines, the Rogues find themselves branded criminals. Mysterious forces intervene, freeing Leisa and setting a trap for the DIA/NCIS agents hot on their trail. With Carl playing a risky game, a sudden alien attack throws their fragile alliance into chaos.

7. Alien Encounters:

Marines and Rogues unite against an unknown enemy, driven by different agendas. Leisa desperately searches for Nathan while protecting friendly aliens from a ruthless alien faction. As the Marines evacuate, the Rogues find themselves stranded, facing a hopeless standoff.

8. Truth Unveiled:

Outgunned and facing imminent annihilation, the team receives unexpected reinforcements from Bird Dog, armed with alien tech. A desperate last stand forms. Rogues, Marines, Nathan, and a lone alien – their uneasy alliance is humanity’s only hope against the coming storm.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Episode List Rough Draft

What I learned: Step at a time. That’s all it takes.

1. The Cheat Sheet.

1. Beginning……………………………………………………………………….Season End/Cliffhanger

Question A: What is the Beginning of the season and the End of the season? The season begins with HM1 Leisa Hunter standing court martial. The inciting incident is where she learns that her brother has been captured by terrorists. The season ends with her and a team she created rescues her brother.

Question B: What possible cliffhanger could be in that last scene of the season, thus demanding that we watch the next season? The cliffhangers are learning her brother was not captured by terrorists but abducted by aliens. The other cliffhanger is she is now standing before the opening court martial, charged with desertion.

2. Season 1 Mystery Set up…………………………………..………………Season 1 Mystery Solved

Question A: What is the mystery? Why does the military refuse to rescue someone when it is a clear, doable mission? The Rogue Warriors each share a missing person in their lives. Who manipulated them to get together as a team?

Question B: How could the mystery be set up? What parts will be left out that must be solved? The Marine team gears up for action only to be ordered to stand down. The Rogue Warriors repeated find no missing person to rescue.

Question C: What is the ultimate solution that the characters must work to discover? They find that aliens are abducted people and creating teams that they use as proxies to prevent catastrophic events from occurring.

3. Journey begins……………………………………………………….Journey peaks, but continues.

Question A: Where does the Lead Character journey begin and end for this season? Leisa is unable to do anything to help rescue her brother. In the end, she leads a mission to rescue him only to find that he was not abducted but recruited by the aliens.

Question B: Think about where this character goes in future seasons. That might give you an idea also.

The Rogue Warriors affiliate with the aliens to prevent attacks on Americans.

4. ……Layer….…Layer………Layer………Layer………Layer………Layer………Layer……Layer

Question A: What layers have you already discovered in your BW Framework?

Aliens behind the abductions; not abductions, but recruitments; aliens prevent global destruction; aliens want to protect their vacation land; aliens want to “own” earth and prevent the “enemy” aliens from coming there.

Question B: Are there any other layers that you could think of?

A mission to disarm and capture an isolated site was actually initiated by the “enemy” aliens in order to prevent the “friendly” aliens from destructively mining earth for a rare mineral that they need for their weapons.

Dr. Diaz was ordered to reestablish contact with Leisa to serve as a spy for a senior government official.

Bird Dog traffics in stolen alien artifacts.

SkyQueen’s helicopter “accident” was being shot down by an alien craft. Her drug abuse was to cover up her altered behavior and perceptions from an alien contamination.

5. Make a list of the Major Story Lines.

Question A: What main characters have story lines that affect everyone else?

Leisa: Suggested the contractor job that led to her father being captured. Now she will do anything to rescue those relatives of friends and teammates.

Leisa/Sergio: She forfeits love to pursue her new enlisted life only to begin an illicit affair that is nearly destroyed when it is revealed that Sergio was doing so under orders. Sergio risks his own incarceration when he teams with Leisa and the Rogue Warriors.

Bird Dog, the team’s arms supplier, risks arrest for all of them, and unknown risks when he goes against the alien’s demands.

SkyQueen’s addiction rears itself at the most inopportune times.

Capt Carl recognizes the value in what the Rogue Warriors are doing but must choose supporting them or doing what is best for his career.

Question B: What are the most important story lines of this show?

Leisa’s arc from being an active opponent of the aliens to a supporter of them to opposing them again when she learns their true mission.

2. Episode ideas.

Ep 1 Bro! Missing in Action

Leisa learns her brother has been captured by terrorists.

Ep 2 – The Rogue Warriors

Leisa builds a team of retired warriors.

Ep 3 – Alert Status

The Marines deploy and Leisa is knocked unconscious on a night parachute jump causing the mission to abort.

Ep 4 – Active Shooter

The Rogue Warriors foil a hostage situation.

Ep 5 — So Much Tech

The team uncovers alien technology.

Ep 6 – The Government is Here to Help

Government agents investigate the Marines

Ep 7 – Backup

Rogue Warriors come to the aid of the Marines

Ep 8 – Bro! You’re Alive

The team finds her brother.

3. Episode Bullet Points

Ep 1 Bro! Missing in Action

Leisa learns her brother has been captured by terrorists.

The Marines refuse to rescue him.

She commensurate with retired warriors who suggest that they’re not too old to do a simple rescue.

Ep 2 – The Rogue Warriors

Leisa learns about her new team’s skills and assets.

Multiple failures prevent them even setting out on a rescue.

Late for muster. Assigned extra duties.

Miss team training.

Ep 3 – Alert Status

The Marines deploy

Leisa is knocked unconscious on a night parachute jump causing the mission to abort.

Marines upset with her.

The team supports her.

Ep 4 – Active Shooter

Waco-like stand-off.

FBI just watches.

The Rogue Warriors rescue the hostages.

SkyQueen swoops in, pulls the team out.

Unknown heros!

Ep 5 — So Much Tech

The team uncovers alien technology.

Bird Dog steals it, sells it.

SkyQueen, drugged, witnesses the theft.

Leisa does not believe her.

Ep 6 – The Government is Here to Help

Government agents investigate the Marines

Ep 7 – Backup

Marines, with Leisa, deploy on a rescue that the team was planning.

Marines are surrounded.

Communications are jammed.

On SkyQueen’s orders, Rogue Warriors come to the aid of the Marines

Cover busted.

Ep 8 – Bro! You’re Alive

The team finds her brother.

He’s alive and so is her dad.

She learns that they’ve been working for aliens

Recruited to join the fight.

4. AI (edited) version of 8 seasons

Episode 1: “Rogue Rescuers”

• Teaser: Leisa receives a cryptic message about her brother’s disappearance.

• Main Character Journey: Leisa recruits the team and plans the rescue mission.

• Major Challenge/Conflict: They infiltrate a secret facility to find clues about the abduction.

• Midpoint: Discover a connection between the military and unexplained phenomena.

• Action/Reaction: Uncover security systems hindering their progress, initiating a daring escape.

• Cliffhanger: Discovery of holographic archives reveals catastrophic attacks on Earth.

Episode 2: “Collateral Secrets”

• Teaser: Team seeks answers after discovering holographic archives of alien attacks.

• Main Character Journey: Sergio navigates trust issues amidst hidden agendas and revelations.

• Major Challenge/Conflict: Deciphering clues while evading capture by shadowy government operatives.

• Midpoint: Uncover encrypted messages linking military officials to alien technologies.

• Action/Reaction: Betrayal threatens the team’s safety and exposes a mole.

• Cliffhanger: A sudden power outage leaves them vulnerable in enemy territory.

Episode 3: “SkyQueen’s Demons”

• Teaser: Navigating enemy terrain strains team; SkyQueen’s addiction intensifies tensions.

• Main Character Journey: SkyQueen’s addiction complicates escape; flashbacks link it to aliens.

• Major Challenge/Conflict: Escaping, evading surveillance; veterans’ program adds complexity to predicament.

• Midpoint: Hidden bunker unveils SkyQueen’s past, revealing alien connections.

• Action/Reaction: SkyQueen endangers escape; confrontation tests unity and strategies.

• Cliffhanger: Distress signal reveals alien stronghold, igniting hope amidst threat.

Episode 4: “Bird Dog’s Betrayal”

• Teaser: Bird Dog’s secret dealings are exposed, threatening the team’s trust.

• Main Character Journey: Flashbacks show Bird Dog’s desperation for independence.

• Major Challenge/Conflict: Negotiating with dangerous arms dealers for critical intel.

• Midpoint: Discover Bird Dog’s ties to a shadowy extraterrestrial group.

• Action/Reaction: A betrayal puts the team in a perilous situation.

• Cliffhanger: Bird Dog faces a choice between loyalty and personal gain.

Episode 5: “Connie’s Dilemma”

• Teaser: Connie’s past as a SEAL operative resurfaces, haunting him.

• Main Character Journey: Connie grapples with guilt over a fallen comrade.

• Major Challenge/Conflict: Unraveling a SEAL mission’s connection to the alien conspiracy.

• Midpoint: A revelation about a SEAL informant tied to extraterrestrial activity.

• Action/Reaction: Connie’s risky move leads to a conflict within the team.

• Cliffhanger: The team is cornered by both military and alien forces.

Episode 6: “Captain’s Gambit”

• Teaser: Captain Carl’s true intentions and loyalties become ambiguous.

• Main Character Journey: Flashbacks reveal Carl’s ambitions and inner conflicts.

• Major Challenge/Conflict: A high-stakes confrontation between Carl and the rogue team escalates tensions.

• Midpoint: Carl’s unexpected revelation about Leisa’s brother’s true fate and his involvement with aliens.

• Action/Reaction: The team faces a critical decision to trust or confront Carl, leading to a standoff.

• Cliffhanger: A sudden assault by a shadowy alien faction disrupts their confrontation.

Episode 7: “Alien Encounters”

• Teaser: The team ventures into an alien stronghold to rescue Leisa’s brother.

• Main Character Journey: Unveiling the aliens’ true motives and technology.

• Major Challenge/Conflict: Escaping the alien stronghold amidst escalating hostilities.

• Midpoint: Unraveling the aliens’ plans for catastrophic attacks on Earth.

• Action/Reaction: A showdown with alien enforcers tests the team’s resilience.

• Cliffhanger: Leisa’s brother reveals he’s working with the aliens willingly.

Episode 8: “Truth Unveiled”

• Teaser: The team braces for an impending alien attack on their location.

• Main Character Journey: Inner turmoil as each member wrestles with their alliances and ultimate loyalties.

• Major Challenge/Conflict: Racing against time to decipher the aliens’ true intentions and prevent the imminent attack.

• Midpoint: Leisa’s brother unveils the aliens’ true intentions and offers a desperate alliance.

• Action/Reaction: A tense standoff between the team, Leisa’s brother, and the aliens as the imminent attack draws near.

• Cliffhanger: The catastrophic alien attack is imminent, forcing an uneasy alliance between the team and Leisa’s brother, leaving their fate uncertain as the episode concludes.

[Bob Creager]

Module 2 Lesson 3

Bob’s Five Seasons

What I learned: I love the stair step outline. I had no clue how the second season onward would work out until I started my own stair steps. AI helped fill in some holes.

1. Brainstorm to find the arc of the entire journey, from Season One to Five.

Season 1 START: When the U.S. government refuses to rescue her father from the Taliban, Navy nurse Hunter resigns her commission, enlists as a SpecOps corpsman to be prepared to rescue other Americans in harm’s way.

Season 5 END: Hunter has been placed in charge of a mixed unit of ex-military, military, and aliens to protect earth from invasion by another race of aliens and the invaders first target is Hunter’s unit.

2. Brainstorm the Stair Step version.

Season 1: Missions to rescue brother.

Season 2: Rogue team comes to rescue of Marine team.

Season 3: Alien interference with her missions.

Season 4: Corrupt politician controls Marine unit to put rogue team in danger.

Season 5: Leads a team of past and present military and friendly aliens to fight evil aliens.

3. For each season, brainstorm the Building Blocks.

Season 1: Title: Missing in Inaction

A. High Concept or major hook of the season. Hunter’s brother was kidnapped but the terrorist did not do it.

B. Big Picture Arc/Journey: Hunter builds a team of retirees to do what the Marines won’t.

C. Main Conflict: The chain of command prevents Hunter from participating in rescues. She does it anyway.

D. Mystery/Open Loops: Clues left behind at sites of disappearance pointing to an unknown group.

E. Cliffhanger: Finds her brother who was not kidnapped, but recruited for a covert group led by her supposedly deceased father.

Season 2: Title: Old Guy’s to the Rescue

A. High Concept or major hook of the season. The Rogue Warriors become active in the hunt for other missing soldiers while dodging the government.

B. Big Picture Arc/Journey: The Rogue Warriors become increasingly successful at search and rescue.

C. Main Conflict: Rogue Warriors rescue Marine unit.

D. Mystery/Open Loops: Alien tech discovered at site of some abductions.

E. Cliffhanger: UFO seen leaving the scene of a massacre of North Korean forces in Mexico.

Season 3: Title: Aliens Good?

A. High Concept or major hook of the season. A secret source of intelligence manipulates the Rogue Warriors.

B. Big Picture Arc/Journey: The Marine’s cover for the Rogue Warriors and assist in some missions.

C. Main Conflict: Cabinet level interference with their missions.

D. Mystery/Open Loops: Who are the supporters/opposers of the Rogue Warriors?

E. Cliffhanger: Rogue Warrior’s helicopter attacked by new alien force preventing a rescue.

Season 4: Title: Alien v. Alien

A. High Concept or major hook of the season. The awareness of the good aliens is confused by the actions of the new bad aliens.

B. Big Picture Arc/Journey: Aliens assist the Rogue Warriors in hunting down the bad aliens.

C. Main Conflict: Maintaining secrecy from the U.S. government and the public about the different alien groups.

D. Mystery/Open Loops: Alien communication device captured by Rogue Warriors. Can they use it?

E. Cliffhanger: An alien vs alien battle ensues with the Rogue Warriors and Marines fighting along.

Season 5: Title: Eminent Invasion

A. High Concept or major hook of the season. The bad aliens appear in high numbers.

B. Big Picture Arc/Journey: Aliens join the Rogue Warriors and fight along side of them.

C. Main Conflict: The earth dividing and unifying behind one or the other alien group with the Rogue Warriors holding the key to defeating the enemy aliens.

D. Mystery/Open Loops: Will they figure out how to overpower the enemy?

E. Cliffhanger: As the final battle rages, Hunter is court martialed for desertion.

4. Write a description of each season and give us the 5 seasons.

Season 1: Title: Missing in Inaction

A Navy Nurse, Leisa Hunter, angry at her government for refusing to rescue her father who was captured and killed by the Taliban, resigns her commission and enlists as a SpecOps corpsman so she can be ready to rescue the next one her government leaves behind.

Now attached to a Marine Raider unit, she must face that anger again when her brother is kidnapped, and the government does nothing. But she is ready now. She recruits a team of angry veterans, and without the knowledge of the Marines, launches a rescue effort only to find that not only was her brother was not captured by the enemy, but her father is still alive and working for an alien race who use humans as their weapons against the major threats facing their vacation home.

Now Leisa must juggle her Marine duties with her Rogue Warrior demands, facing death and court martial if she is caught. As her reputation grows, she becomes more known for her warrior skills than the healing skills she truly desires.

Season 2: Title: Old Guy’s to the Rescue

As Leisa and her Rogue Warriors try to find clues on where her brother may be, they are drawn into missions to rescue others in hazardous environments. The risk of exposure of the Warriors existence becomes present when they come to the aid of a Marine unit, surrounded by enemy forces, and Leisa reverts to her default medic training to save wounded Marines.

When word leaks of her involvement, an investigation is launched into what Leisa does in her free time and how she gets so much free time. The investigation is squelched when alien tech is presented to the Marines, and everything related to the investigation becomes classified by an unidentified, secret protector located within high levels of government.

The Rogue Warriors, with the aid of an alien craft, prevent a North Korean Special Operations Force from launching a drone with a nuclear warhead from within Mexico. The UAP’s use of a beamed weapon was captured on social media.

Season 3: Title: Aliens Good?

With praise for the success of the mission against NK going to the Marines instead of the Rogue Warriors, the Marines are given secret orders to assist the Rogue Warriors in their missions. With the chance to be reinstated as a Navy officer, Leisa chooses to stay enlisted and allow the Marines to front for them.

All is well except that their missions become more difficult as an unknown alien force has joined the battle of earth. Their goals are unknown. Even the aliens do not know who or what they are.

Season 4: Title: Alien v. Alien

Space battles are broadcast over social media, soon picked up by traditional media. But who is fighting who and which side is America behind. Alien landings occur around the globe and the Rogue Warriors serve as intelligence gathering assets to provide feedback to their alien allies.

When alien invaders occupy ICBM sites, the Rogue Warriors and Marines come to the rescue.

Season 5: Title: Eminent Invasion

When greater numbers of both friendly aliens and enemy aliens arrive in orbit and on planet, the militaries of the world coordinate the defense of the planet. All is well until Russia and China align with the enemy aliens.

When the allies determine to use nuclear weapons against the enemy forces within Russia and China, Leisa convinces the government to give her one chance to stop the enemy. With nuclear-tipped missiles, Leisa boards an alien craft to confront the lead enemy alien fleet. A nuclear explosion in space obliterates all spacecraft, friend and foe, with the fate of the Rogue Warriors unknown.

5. AI Prompts

PROMPT 1

Season 1 – Unraveling

Beginning:

HM1 Leisa Hunter forms a team and rescues her brother, only to discover he volunteered to work for a friendly alien force.

Ending:

Leisa grapples with the revelation of her brother’s voluntary involvement, questioning the true nature of the alien forces and their intentions.

Stair Steps:

Bigger mystery: Unveiling the nature and motives of the friendly alien force operating on Earth.

Bigger conflict: Internal conflict within the team about the nature of the aliens and their impact on humanity.

Bigger opponent: The team faces opposition from factions within the government and military who want to exploit the aliens.

Major layer exposed: The true extent of the cooperation between Earth’s governments and the friendly aliens comes to light.

Exploring more dangerous ground: Delving deeper into the complexities of alien-human interactions, risking alliances and trust.

Season 2 – Escalation

Beginning:

The Rogue Warrior team uses acquired alien technology to prevent a North Korean special ops force from launching a nuclear-tipped drone from within Mexico.

Ending:

The team faces repercussions as the incident draws global attention, leading to increased scrutiny and danger.

Stair Steps:

Bigger mystery: Discovering the origins and capabilities of the alien technology and its implications for Earth’s power dynamics.

Bigger conflict: Escalating tensions with North Korea and other nations due to the use of alien technology on Earth.

Bigger opponent: International organizations and governments questioning the Rogue Warrior team’s actions and motives.

Exploring more dangerous ground: Navigating international politics and threats while dealing with the consequences of their actions.

Season 3 – Revelation

Beginning:

The Marines receive orders to secretly support the Rogue Warriors after getting credit for stopping the North Korean threat.

Ending:

The Marines suffer heavy casualties when an enemy alien force disrupts the friendly aliens’ mission, putting Earth at greater risk.

Stair Steps:

Bigger mystery: Unveiling the interference of enemy alien forces and their motives for disrupting the friendly aliens’ work.

Bigger conflict: Internal struggles within the military as they grapple with the truth behind the aliens and their impact on humanity.

Bigger opponent: The team faces a more formidable adversary with the enemy alien force intervening.

Exploring more dangerous ground: Dealing with the consequences of the conflict, navigating betrayal, and preparing for greater threats.

Season 4 – Unification

Beginning:

Space battles covered by mainstream and social media begin to expose the cover-up regarding aliens, causing chaos worldwide.

Ending:

Enemy alien invaders occupy an American ICBM site, leading to the first major battle between Rogue Warriors, supported by alien tech, and the enemy aliens.

Stair Steps:

Bigger mystery: Uncovering the extent of the cover-up and its implications for Earth’s future.

Bigger conflict: The global escalation of conflict as enemy aliens openly invade Earth’s territories.

Bigger opponent: The Rogue Warriors face the full force of the enemy aliens in a battle for survival.

Exploring more dangerous ground: Engaging in warfare with advanced alien invaders while trying to unite humanity against a common enemy.

Season 5 – Resurrection

Beginning:

Russia and China ally with the enemy aliens, presenting an unprecedented challenge for the Rogue Warriors.

Ending:

The final battle unfolds as the Rogue Warriors lead a daring suicide mission using alien technology to take out the enemy alien fleet, their fate unknown.

Stair Steps:

Bigger mystery: Understanding the motives behind Russia and China’s allegiance with the enemy aliens and the potential consequences for Earth.

Bigger conflict: A global-scale battle involving the Rogue Warriors, risking everything to save humanity.

Bigger opponent: Facing the combined might of the enemy aliens and world powers allied against them.

Exploring more dangerous ground: A high-stakes, last-ditch effort to secure Earth’s survival with uncertain outcomes for the team’s fate.

PROMPT 2

5 SEASON SUMMARY:

Season 1: “Alien Allegiance”

Renegade team discovers Leisa’s brother’s alliance with friendly aliens, unraveling a hidden collaboration between humans and benevolent extraterrestrials. Leisa grapples with trust issues amidst a looming threat hinting at deeper secrets between aliens and Earth.

Season 2: “Technological Fallout”

Global scrutiny follows the team’s use of alien tech against North Korea. As international tensions rise, the team faces accusations while delving into the origins of the acquired alien technology. Threats loom, escalating global turmoil.

Season 3: “Betrayal’s Consequences”

Secret military support backfires, leading to dire consequences amidst alien intervention. Internal strife and escalating hostilities challenge the team. Devastating casualties occur as Earth faces imminent threats from alien adversaries.

Season 4: “War of Worlds”

Alien cover-up collapses, sparking a global war against technologically advanced invaders. Rogue Warriors confront the enemy at an ICBM site, setting the stage for an unprecedented showdown.

Season 5: “Final Frontier”

Fractured alliances emerge as major powers side with enemy aliens. In a race against time, the team faces a combined enemy force in a desperate battle for Earth’s survival. A daring suicide mission is launched, their fate uncertain against the enemy alien fleet.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Intriguing Concept and World

What I learned: Even though we did a similar exercise in module 1, revisiting the concept and sub-world helped elevate my knowledge of the project.

1. Present your Concept.

A special operations corpsman creates a rogue covert unit to rescue a missing family member while uncovering an extraterrestrial conspiracy behind the disappearance.

2. Tell us the World of this show.

Unique Sub-World: Marine Raider Regiment, Marine Special Operations Team (MSOT)

Previously unexplored: A female Special Amphibious Reconnaissance Corpsman assigned to an MSOT that goes rogue.

The unknown: Who or what is behind the disappearances and why so many seemingly coincidental connections to the corpsman.

The unseen: The alien abductors, the miliary leaders that are in the know, and the manipulation of the MSOT.

Unheard of Dangers: The dangers of combat mixed with the unknown danger presented by the aliens.

Reason to explore it: How will this seemingly peaceful healer who is equally a trained warrior confront the alien threat and is it really a threat?

NAVY RECON WORLD:

In the world of Marine Special Operations, the military’s resistance to rescuing their vanished intensifies the risk of facing prosecution for pursuing righteous yet rogue actions, coupled with the unknown danger posed by alien abductors.

3. Use this prompt to have AI brainstorm ways to express your concept and intriguing world.

Concept:

A skilled corpsman leads a renegade covert team in rescuing family while unraveling an extraterrestrial conspiracy, merging military action and unknown alien threats in a gripping struggle for truth and survival.

Intriguing World:

In a covert universe of Marine Special Operations Teams and retired Marines, a female Special Amphibious Reconnaissance Corpsman takes a rogue path, unraveling mysteries tied to alien abductions. The shadowy presence of alien forces intertwines with concealed military agendas and the team’s manipulation, heightening the suspense. As the healer-warrior confronts unknown dangers, the allure lies in uncovering the truth behind the alien threat and witnessing her high-stakes battle for survival and revelation.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Character Descriptions

What I learned: The AI put my thoughts together in a meaningful way.

2. Select a main character and answer the following questions:

<ul type=”disc”>

[Bob Creager]

Bob has completed the BW Framework!

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Creating Irony!

What I learned: The AI responses went way beyond what I could have thought of on my own. Not all of them will work but nevertheless, they are intriguing.

Assignment 2:

1. Potential Irony components:

Leisa enlists to save lives

Leisa gives up love to enlist

Sky Queen does anything to fly

Leisa loyal to country

Bird Dog loyal to the Marines

Hates the suffering war causes

Sergio wants love and family

Capt Carl wants to protect his corpsman

Bird Dog loves all Marines

Bird Dog gung ho Marine

2. Irony opportunities:

Leisa enlists to save lives / Too valuable to risk her in combat

Takes lives as a highly skilled SARC (SEAL trained) warrior

Leisa gives up love to enlist / Neither her nor Sergio can live without love

Sky Queen does anything to fly / Forced out of Marines because of injury – cannot fly for them.

Leisa loyal to country / Choses family over country

Bird Dog loyal to the Marines / Sells arms to those who use them against Marines

Hates the suffering war causes / Creates a team that excels in combat.

Sergio lonely / Finds two women to love – must chose.

Capt Carl wants to protect his corpsman / Forced to court martial her

Bird Dog gung ho Marine / Was dishonorably discharged

Sergio choses Leisa, helps her / Loses career, Leisa, and fiancé.

3. AI generated Irony opportunities:

Dramatic Irony: The audience knows about the otherworldly forces at play, which the characters are unaware of. This could be subtly hinted at through mysterious occurrences or subtle hints throughout the series.

Situational Irony: Leisa’s unparalleled combat and medical skills, usually an asset, become a hindrance as she’s torn between rescuing her brother and thwarting the terrorist attack. Her expertise that typically aids her becomes a barrier.

Character Irony: GySgt Roscoe, driven by personal gain, joins Leisa’s team unknowingly tied to the mission and their missing relatives. His selfish intentions ironically align with the larger mission’s deeper connections.

Verbal Irony: Capt Carl, focused on preserving the Marine Corps’ image, is inadvertently involved in a mission with links to missing relatives, unbeknownst to him. His efforts to maintain the Corps’ reputation clash ironically with the hidden truths that emerge.

Irony of Fate: SkyQueen, grappling with emotions for Leisa, finds her own journey of self-discovery intertwined with the mission and revelations about missing relatives. Her personal struggles become inextricably linked with the larger unfolding events.

Plot Irony: LT Diaz, torn between his conflicting emotions and loyalties, discovers the connection between Leisa’s mission and their missing relatives. His journey involves navigating the complexities of duty versus personal connections, which ironically intertwine.

Relationship Irony: The relationships between characters become entangled in the larger web of hidden connections, leading to conflicts and alliances that are ironically formed due to the shared yet unknown pasts.

Circumstantial Irony: Connie Gazis, striving for past glories, becomes entangled in a mission that inadvertently revisits his history. His pursuit of former triumphs ironically leads to unexpected consequences and revelations.

Additional prompt –

Irony of Perception: Leisa, hailed for her exceptional skills, is perceived as an unyielding hero by her colleagues. However, her internal struggle and vulnerability in choosing between her duty and rescuing her brother contrast starkly with this perceived image.

Motif Irony: Throughout the series, there’s a recurring motif of sacrifice for the greater good. Leisa’s personal sacrifice for the mission contrasts with the sacrifices made by her father and echoes the choices made by others in the past.

Parallelism Irony: The relationships among the characters mimic historical patterns of betrayal, sacrifice, and redemption from their shared past, creating an ironic parallel between their current predicaments and their ancestors’ stories.

Symbolic Irony: The insignia or emblem representing Leisa’s unit holds a symbolic meaning that aligns with the theme of sacrifice, duty, and familial bonds. This emblem’s significance in the story could contradict its original intended purpose, creating an ironic contrast.

Emotional Irony: LT Diaz, torn between love and duty, finds himself empathizing with Leisa’s predicament more than he anticipated. His emotional journey mirrors hers, leading to an ironic understanding that challenges his initial loyalties.

Irony of Expectation: SkyQueen, initially portrayed as emotionally detached, evolves into a character driven by newfound emotions for Leisa. This unexpected transformation contrasts sharply with the expectations set by her earlier characterization.

Paradoxical Irony: The more Leisa tries to distance herself from her father’s fate, the more she becomes entangled in a similar predicament. Her efforts to avoid history repeating itself ironically push her closer to a similar outcome.

Moral Irony: Roscoe, driven by personal gain, eventually faces a moral dilemma where his choices inadvertently lead to the revelation of hidden truths. His pursuit of selfish goals ironically contributes to uncovering larger moral quandaries.

Cognitive Irony: Characters’ perceptions and understanding of their mission, relationships, and personal histories evolve dramatically throughout the series. The audience’s awareness of hidden truths contrasts with the characters’ evolving comprehension, leading to moments of cognitive dissonance.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Intriguing Layers

What I learned: I knew more about the story’s plot layers and character layers than I thought but using AI took it to a new level.

Assignment 2

Brainstorm a list of possible PLOT layers.

PLOT LAYERS – Story beneath the story.

<ul type=”disc”>

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Big Picture Open Loops

What I learned: Breakthroughs from lessons 7 and 8 tied in with this lessons exercise have totally turned my concept around bringing it that much closer to being truly bingeworthy.

Assignment 2:

1. Use this list to brainstorm big picture open loops for your first season that you will use to keep the audience captivated.

GOALS:

<ul type=”disc”>

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Show Mysteries

What I learned: Prior to this lesson, my show was weak when it comes to mystery. This lesson turned that around. Each mystery generated by AI could possibly be an episode, group of episodes, or even a seasonal arc. So many possibilities.

Assignment 2:

Prior to this lesson, the genre was “Military Thriller Drama”. That looks like it will not create a bingeworthy series. This exercise will explore a genre that is “Science Fiction”

1. Create your Shocking Event Mystery and tell us the WWWWW and H, along with the part withheld.

A. Shocking Event: A Marine Special Operations Team goes missing while on a rescue mission.

B. Secret: Marine leadership are not planning a rescue of the rescue team.

C. Investigation: We wonder why. No man left behind.

WWWWW and How:

What: Marine unit goes missing.

When: This week.

Where: Columbia

Why: Cover-up is that it is terrorism:

Who: Venezuela suspected.

How: Unknown

Part Withheld: SecDef expected this to happen as many disappearances have occurred in this area.

2. Create the Over Time Mystery and tell us the WWWWW and H, along with the part withheld.

A. Cover up: That disappearances are terrorists capturing solders or mysterious accidents happen. No bodies ever recovered. Leisa’s mission is supported or opposed by her chain of command depending on the knowledge they have about what is happening.

B. Secret: Some in government believes these disappearances might be by aliens.

C. Reveals: Some of the missing people are seen at the site of foiled NBC (nuclear, biological, chemical) attacks and these people are responsible for foiling the attack.

WWWWW and How:

What: Soldiers disappear, later to be seen at the site of an NBC attack.

When: Since the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Where: Disappearances occur in isolated locations.

Why: Aliens recruit warriors to be their surrogates to prevent humans from destroying themselves.

Who: Leisa’s uncle disappeared when she was a child. Her father disappeared at the pull-out from Afghanistan. Her brother is now missing from Columbia. Her rogue team members all have missing family members.

How: The duty of the aliens is to protect earth without being seen doing so.

Part Withheld: When a world leader assumes office, they are briefed by someone in the outgoing government on this mission.

3A. Possible Mysteries:

Mystery 1 = The Vanished Brother: Leisa’s brother’s disappearance is the central mystery. The team must uncover what happened to him and why he was taken, which may involve unraveling a larger conspiracy.

Mystery 2 = Shared Alien Agenda: Leisa’s father and her brother, unbeknownst to Leisa, were both secretly recruited by an alien faction aiming to prevent catastrophic human conflicts that pose a threat to Earth. Their involvement was meant to thwart or influence these events discreetly from within human organizations.

3B. Shocking Event and Over Time Mysteries

Mystery strategy 1 =
For the opening Shocking Event Mystery, please include:

A. Shocking Event: Leisa’s brother and his team, while on a humanitarian mission in a remote Colombian village, vanish inexplicably. The area where they were stationed appears undisturbed, with no signs of struggle or logical explanation for their disappearance.

B. Secret: The disappearance of Leisa’s brother is linked to unusual energy fluctuations detected in the area, indicating the presence of an unidentified phenomenon or force. Further investigation reveals anomalies in the surrounding environment, such as temporary fluctuations in gravity and electromagnetic fields, suggesting an unknown, potentially extraterrestrial, influence.

C. Investigation: As Leisa delves deeper into her brother’s disappearance, she uncovers anomalies in the electromagnetic spectrum and gravitational fields around the village. There are no visible traces of abduction or conventional signs of human involvement. The team’s investigation leads to the realization that these anomalies could be tied to an unknown, possibly alien, force with the capability to manipulate local spacetime, providing a lead towards the involvement of otherworldly forces in her brother’s vanishing.

Mystery strategy 2 = For ongoing Over-Time Mystery please include:

A. Cover up: Leisa’s father, presumed dead after being captured and killed by the Taliban, was, in reality, recruited by a clandestine alien faction due to his expertise in intelligence operations. His supposed death was a cover-up to conceal his involvement in a mission crucial to the alien agenda.

B. Secret: Both Leisa’s father and her brother were covertly working to prevent humans from instigating catastrophic conflicts that could endanger Earth. Their involvement was part of a larger plan orchestrated by the alien faction, aiming to influence human decisions from within the intelligence community and humanitarian organizations.

C. Reveals: Over time, Leisa uncovers evidence that links her father and brother’s seemingly separate involvements. She slowly pieces together the truth behind their recruitment by the aliens, realizing that their disappearances were orchestrated to prevent human conflicts and protect the planet. This revelation poses ethical dilemmas as she navigates between her loyalty to her family and her duty as a SpecOps corpsman to thwart the impending terrorist attack while sensing the otherworldly forces at play.

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Show Empathy/Distress

What I learned: I experimented with distress/empathy relationships with the four members of the rogue warrior team and it elevated each of the characters substantially.

Character 1 – HM1 Leisa Hunter, US Navy – protagonist

Distress:

A. Undeserved misfortune. Father captured, then killed by terrorist. The military will not let her help save him.

B. External Character conflicts. In love with an officer (she’s enlisted) who is now engaged.

C. Plot intruding on life. Builds a team of retirees to rescue her brother. Her “day job” attached to a Marine unit prevents her having free movement plus the legal ramifications.

D. Moral dilemmas. If she pursues the rescue, she will be court martialed, marring her and her family’s name.

E. Forced decisions they’d never make. Learning and using SEAL skills where her primary desire is to heal. AWOL/deserting to rescue her brother.

Empathy:

A. Put the character in distress. Ex-boyfriend appears to flaunt his fiancé in front of her. Not treated as an equal on the Marine team. Forced to cause harm to others.

B. Make them relatable.

C. Universal experiences that are emotional.

Character 2 – Dr. LT Sergio Diaz, US Navy

Distress:

A. Undeserved misfortune. Orders transferring him overseas. Leisa resigns her commission and enlists causing an informal break-up.

B. External Character conflicts. Orders separating him from Leisa. New fiancé jealous of his “friendship” with Leisa.

C. Plot intruding on life. Drawn in on Leisa’s illegal activities.

D. Moral dilemmas. Refusing to help with Leisa’s plan could put lives in danger. Helping could put his career in jeopardy.

E. Forced decisions they’d never make. Disobeying orders to help Leisa. Lying to his fiancé.

Empathy:

A. Put the character in distress. Whenever he is forced to choose one over the other. Whenever he must disobey orders.

B. Make them relatable. Nice guy unable to decide on who he wants to be with and what he is willing to give up to make that happen.

C. Universal experiences that are emotional.

Character 3 – Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal, medically retired

Distress:

A. Undeserved misfortune. Forced out of the Marines because of her combat injuries.

B. External Character conflicts. The other former Marines do not consider her to have been a “real” Marine as she was a pilot, not a grunt like them.

C. Plot intruding on life. Fails a drug test – suspends her pilot’s license.

D. Moral dilemmas. Forced to carry drugs for her dealer. Dumping him in the jungle.

E. Forced decisions they’d never make. Forced to carry drugs for her dealer. Dumping him in the jungle.

Empathy:

A. Put the character in distress. Whenever she appears to have her drug use under control, she slips.

B. Make them relatable. She’s falling in love with Leisa (like the audience) but Leisa doesn’t see her that way.

C. Universal experiences that are emotional.

BARD RESPONSE

Main Character – HM1 Leisa Hunter

Distress:

Undeserved misfortune: Her brother, the only family she has left, is captured by terrorists.

External Character conflicts: She is torn between her duty to her country and her love for her brother. She also faces conflict with her superior officers who are determined to stop her from rescuing her brother.

Plot intruding on life: Her personal life is completely disrupted when her brother is captured, and she must go rogue to rescue him.

Moral dilemmas: She must decide whether to follow orders or do what she believes is right, even if it means disobeying orders and becoming a deserter.

Forced decisions they’d never make: She is forced to make difficult choices that she never thought she would have to make, such as whether to kill or be killed.

Empathy:

Make them relatable: Leisa is a complex and relatable character who is struggling with difficult choices. She is both a fierce warrior and a compassionate caregiver. She is also haunted by the death of her father and the guilt of not being able to save him.

Universal experiences that are emotional: Leisa’s experiences of loss, grief, and guilt are universal experiences that viewers can relate to. Her struggle to balance her duty to her country with her love for her family is also a struggle that many people can relate to.

Character 2 – Dr. LT Sergio Diaz

Distress:

Undeserved misfortune: He believes that he has lost the woman he loves forever.

External Character conflicts: He is torn between his two loves, Leisa and his fiancé. He is also in conflict with his superiors who disapprove of his relationship with Leisa.

Plot intruding on life: His personal life is completely disrupted when he is transferred to the same base as Leisa and is forced to choose between the two women he loves.

Moral dilemmas: He must decide whether to stay loyal to his fiancé or to follow his heart and be with Leisa.

Forced decisions they’d never make: He is forced to make a difficult choice between the two women he loves, even though he knows that either choice will hurt someone.

Empathy:

Make them relatable: Sergio is a relatable character who is struggling with his love for two women. He is also a skilled doctor who is dedicated to helping others.

Universal experiences that are emotional: Sergio’s experiences of love, loss, and betrayal are universal experiences that viewers can relate to. His struggle to choose between the two women he loves is also a struggle that many people can relate to.

Character 3 – GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe

Distress:

Undeserved misfortune: He is struggling with PTSD from his time in the military.

External Character conflicts: He is in conflict with his own moral compass as he balances his illegal arms business with his desire to help Leisa rescue her brother.

Plot intruding on life: His illegal arms business is threatened when he is recruited by Leisa to join her team of rogue warriors.

Moral dilemmas: He must decide whether to continue his illegal arms business or to help Leisa rescue her brother, even though he knows that it is the right thing to do.

Forced decisions they’d never make: He is forced to make a difficult choice between his own financial security and helping Leisa rescue her brother.

Empathy:

Make them relatable: Bird Dog is a complex and relatable character who is struggling with PTSD and the temptation of easy money. He is also a skilled warrior who is loyal to those he cares about.

Universal experiences that are emotional: Bird Dog’s struggles with PTSD and the temptation of easy money are experiences that many people can relate to. His desire to help Leisa rescue her brother is also a desire that many people can relate to.

Character 4 – Capt Alford Carl

Distress:

External Character conflicts: He is in conflict with Leisa, who he sees as a threat to the image of the Marine Corps.

Plot intruding on life: His career is threatened when he is forced to investigate Leisa’s activities.

Moral dilemmas: He must decide whether to follow the rules or to do what he believes is right, even if it means bending the rules.

Forced decisions they’d never make: He is forced to make a difficult choice between his career and protecting Leisa.

Empathy:

Make them relatable: Carl is a relatable character who is struggling to protect his career and the image of the Marine Corps. He is also a skilled Marine officer who is dedicated to his duty.

Character 5 – MCSWO Constantine “Connie” Gazis

Distress:

Undeserved misfortune: He is haunted by the loss of his fellow soldiers in combat.

External Character conflicts: He is in conflict with his own aging body and the desire to relive the glory days of his past.

Plot intruding on life: His health is threatened when he is recruited by Leisa to join her team of rogue warriors.

Moral dilemmas: He must decide whether to risk his life on a dangerous mission or to retire from the military and live out the rest of his life in safety.

Forced decisions they’d never make: He is forced to make a difficult choice between his own health and safety and helping Leisa rescue her brother.

Empathy:

Make them relatable: Connie is a relatable character who is struggling with the aging process and the loss of his fellow soldiers. He is also a skilled warrior who is passionate about his work.

Universal experiences that are emotional: Connie’s struggles with aging and the loss of loved ones are experiences that many people can relate to. His desire to relive the glory days of his past is also a desire that many people can relate to.

Character 6 – Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal

Distress:

Undeserved misfortune: She is struggling with pain from a previous injury and her addiction to drugs.

External Character conflicts: She is in conflict with her desire to fly and her physical limitations. She is also in conflict with her feelings for another woman, Leisa.

Plot intruding on life: Her addiction to drugs is threatened when she is recruited by Leisa to join her team of rogue warriors.

Moral dilemmas: She must decide whether to continue her addiction to drugs or to get clean, even though she knows that it will be difficult. She must also decide whether to act on her feelings for Leisa, even though she knows that it is forbidden.

Forced decisions they’d never make: She is forced to make a difficult choice between her own health and happiness and helping Leisa rescue her brother.

Empathy:

Make them relatable: Lani is a relatable character who is struggling with addiction and physical limitations. She is also a skilled pilot who is passionate about her work.

Universal experiences that are emotional: Lani’s struggles with addiction and physical limitations are experiences that many people can relate to. Her desire to fly and her love for another woman are also desires that many people can relate to.

FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS

PROMPT — Please provide specific situations where each of the lead characters elicit empathy from the audience.

HM1 Leisa Hunter

When she is forced to choose between her duty to her country and her love for her brother.

When she is haunted by the death of her father and the guilt of not being able to save him.

When she is struggling to balance her personal life with her career as a SpecOps corpsman.

When she is injured in combat and must overcome her pain and fear to continue fighting.

When she is betrayed by someone she trusts.

Dr. LT Sergio Diaz

When he is torn between his two loves, Leisa and his fiancé.

When he is forced to choose between his career and his love for Leisa.

When he is struggling to cope with the emotional toll of his work as a Navy doctor.

When he is faced with a difficult medical decision that could mean the difference between life and death for his patient.

When he is forced to make a sacrifice for the greater good.

GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe

When he is struggling with PTSD from his time in the military.

When he is tempted by the easy money of his illegal arms business, but knows that it is the wrong thing to do.

When he is forced to choose between his own safety and helping Leisa rescue her brother.

When he is forced to confront his past and the choices that he has made.

When he finds redemption and discovers what it truly means to be a hero.

Capt Alford Carl

When he is struggling to balance his career with his family life.

When he is forced to make a difficult decision that could have serious consequences for his career.

When he is faced with a moral dilemma and must decide what is right, even if it means going against his superiors.

When he is forced to confront his own biases and prejudices.

When he finds redemption and learns to see the world in a new light.

MCSWO Constantine “Connie” Gazis

When he is haunted by the loss of his fellow soldiers in combat.

When he is struggling to come to terms with his age and the fact that he is no longer the soldier he once was.

When he is forced to put his life on the line for a mission that he believes in.

When he finds redemption and discovers that he still has something to offer the world.

Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal

When she is struggling to cope with the pain from her previous injury.

When she is fighting her addiction to drugs.

When she is forced to confront her feelings for another woman, even though she knows that it is forbidden.

When she is struggling to balance her desire to fly with her physical limitations.

When she finds redemption and discovers her true strength and courage.

PROMPT — Please provide specific situations where these four [characters] create distress and/or empathy for each other while they are working together as a team prior to the rescue mission.

Characters =

Main Character — HM1 Leisa Hunter,

Character 2 — GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe,

Character 3 — MCSWO Constantine “Connie” Gazis,

Character 4 — Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal

BARD RESPONSE

HM1 Leisa Hunter and GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe

Distress: Bird Dog’s illegal arms business puts Leisa and the rest of the team at risk.

Empathy: Leisa understands Bird Dog’s need for financial security and his desire to help her rescue her brother. Bird Dog empathizes with Leisa’s grief over the loss of her father and her guilt at not being able to save him.

HM1 Leisa Hunter and MCSWO Constantine “Connie” Gazis

Distress: Connie’s reckless behavior and his desire to relive the glory days of his past put Leisa and the rest of the team at risk.

Empathy: Leisa respects Connie’s experience and his skills as a warrior. Connie admires Leisa’s courage and her determination to save her brother.

HM1 Leisa Hunter and Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal

Distress: Lani’s addiction to drugs and her physical limitations put Leisa and the rest of the team at risk.

Empathy: Leisa understands Lani’s pain and her struggle to overcome her addiction. Lani empathizes with Leisa’s grief over the loss of her father and her guilt at not being able to save him.

GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe and MCSWO Constantine “Connie” Gazis

Distress: Bird Dog and Connie have different leadership styles and often clash over how to best complete the mission.

Empathy: Bird Dog respects Connie’s experience and his skills as a warrior. Connie admires Bird Dog’s loyalty and his willingness to do whatever it takes to help his teammates.

GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe and Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal

Here is a different example of a situation where GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe and Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal could create distress and/or empathy for each other while they are working together as a team prior to the rescue mission, taking into account that Lani is attracted to Leisa and not interested in men:

Bird Dog: Bird Dog is attracted to Lani, but he knows that she is not interested in men. He is also aware that she is struggling with her addiction to drugs, and he is concerned about her well-being. He wants to help her, but he is not sure how.

Lani: Lani is grateful for Bird Dog’s friendship and support, but she is uncomfortable with his romantic advances. She is also worried that his attraction to her will jeopardize her ability to focus on the mission.

Distress:

Bird Dog’s romantic advances towards Lani could make her feel uncomfortable and unsafe. This could create tension and conflict within the team, and it could also distract Lani from the mission.

Empathy:

Bird Dog’s concern for Lani’s well-being, even though she is not interested in him, could make him more relatable and sympathetic to the audience. It could also show that he is a caring and compassionate person, even though he has made some questionable choices in the past.

Lani’s struggle with addiction and her worry about Bird Dog’s romantic advances could make her more relatable and sympathetic to the audience. It could also show that she is a complex and well-developed character.

MCSWO Constantine “Connie” Gazis and Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal

Distress: Connie and Lani are both struggling with their own physical limitations and mortality.

Empathy: Connie admires Lani’s strength and her determination to fly, even though she is physically limited. Lani respects Connie’s experience and his wisdom.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Mod 1 Lesson 6

Bob’s Show Relationship Map

What I learned: Looking at the blank relationship map is a bit overwhelming but taking it a box at a time makes it so much easier.

NAVY RECON – TV Relationship Map

HM1 Leisa Hunter Dr. LT Sergio Diaz GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe Capt Alford Carl

Surface

Ex-boyfriend, ex-co-worker

Rogue team member

Marine SpecOps commander, superior officer

Common Ground

Medical background / experience

Extensive combat training

Commanding Officer / subordinate

Conflict

She forced breakup – he has fiancé but still interested. He wants her to follow Navy rules (except relationship)

It always been “my way or the highway” and he hates getting orders from a junior

He’s by-the-book and she’s do what’s right

History

They worked side-by-side as Dr/Nurse, romantic partners.

She was his nurse in hospital.

When he was 2nd Lt and she was LTj.g., he asked her on a date. She embarrassed him by declining

Subtext

She’d hooked him up with his fiancé to distract him from her

She knows his thieving history and wants to control it for her needs. Hides illegal activities committed for Capt

His unrequited affection

Relationship Arc

Romantic – break up – deep friendship (or more?)

Nurse-patient / friends / co-conspirators

Equals / superior-subordinate / enemies / her savior (maybe?)

Character Relationships for HM1 Leisa Hunter, US Navy

Dr. LT Sergio Diaz, US Navy GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe, retired Capt Alford Carl, US Marine Corp Common Ground Medic background, care for wounded Military experience, commitment to the mission Duty and loyalty to their respective branches Relationship Conflict Secret love affair, loyalty to Sergio’s fiancée Hidden arms dealer business, distrust Conflict over Leisa’s actions and her brother’s rescue Relationship History Past romantic relationship, shared deployments Military camaraderie, served together Commanding officer-subordinate relationship Relationship Subtext Unresolved feelings for each other, tension Unacknowledged trust issues, Roscoe’s hidden activities Carl’s duty vs. Leisa’s family loyalty Relationship Arc Emotional turmoil, jealousy, decision about the relationship Growing mistrust, potential confrontation Escalating conflict, court-martial threat, changing dynamics

• This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by  Bob Creager.

[Bob Creager]

Mod 1 Lesson 5

Bob’s Character Emotions

What I learned: Even though all of these characters live in the same sub-world (military), this process builds in unique distinguishing characteristics.

1. Brainstorm main characters

HM1 Leisa Hunter

A. Situational: Hope – to save lives / Fear – will be prevented from having the chance, failure

B. Motivation: Want – to be the best medic / Need – to respect

C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion – fear of failure / Public Mask – warrior healer

D. Weaknesses: Judgmental, Insecure, impulsive

E. Triggers: an innocent suffering emotional and/or physical pain and no one helping

F. Coping Mechanism: (recklessly) fight back

MCSWO Constantine “Connie” Gazis

A. Situational: Hope – to be a respected leader in battle / Fear – his covert operations background exposed; loss of a team member through his failure.

B. Motivation: Want — to be the best warrior/leader / Need – to prove he’s not too old for combat

C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion – arrogance / Public Mask – warrior leader

D. Weaknesses: aging-related ailments

E. Triggers: being referred to as “too old”

F. Coping Mechanism: fight back; distract

GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe

A. Situational: Hope – to be able to juggle all of his endeavors (arms dealer, team member)/ Fear: being caught; failing the team; PTSD onset at the wrong time; reveal of his dishonorable discharge

B. Motivation: Want – to lead in combat like he once did / Need: financial security

C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion – worthless / Public Mask — hero

D. Weaknesses: PTSD, greed

E. Triggers: meeting someone that knows his past

F. Coping Mechanism: lie, distract, exercise

Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal

A. Situational: Hope – to be able to fly for a living / Fear – something will prevent her from flying

B. Motivation: Want – to fly, to find love / Need – to feel free (like a bird), lesbian who falls for her straight leader

C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion – pain (emotional and physical) / Public Mask – warrior queen

D. Weaknesses: drug addiction, ability to get close to others

E. Triggers: pain, bureaucrats

F. Coping Mechanism: shut down, drugs

Dr. LT Sergio Diaz, US Navy

A. Situational: Hope — to find love / Fear – will be too old when love is possible

B. Motivation: Want – family / Need – to be a part of something bigger

C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion – angry / Public Mask — competent

D. Weaknesses: Leisa’s power over him, wanting a “normal” relationship, cannot chose between fiancé and Leisa

E. Triggers: situations where his dual love life may be found out

F. Coping Mechanism: denial, workaholic

Capt Alford Carl, US Marine Corp

A. Situational: Hope – to be successful / Fear – a subordinate will crash his career

B. Motivation: Want – to be a general / Need – successful missions attributed to him

C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion – intolerant, inflexible / Public Mask – gung ho, always right

D. Weaknesses: if it’s not “in the book”, will not try it.

E. Triggers: presence of a superior officer

F. Coping Mechanism: denial, return to core training

2. BARD AI Emotional Profile

PROMPT:

For each of the [main characters] for this [genre] about this [concept], please brainstorm the [Internal Struggles] of that character that fits this TV series well based on the previously established prompts.

Internal Struggles =

A. Situational: Hope / Fear

B. Motivation: Want / Need

C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion / Public Mask

D. Weaknesses

E. Triggers

F. Coping Mechanism

Genre = Military Thriller Drama

Concept = A SpecOps corpsman must choose between her mission to stop a terrorist attack or rescue her brother, knowing that she will be considered a deserter, and the terrorist attack may succeed.

Main characters =

HM1 Leisa Hunter
MCSWO Constantine “Connie” Gazis
GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe
Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal
Dr. LT Sergio Diaz, US Navy
Capt Alford Carl, US Marine Corp

BARD RESPONSE WITH MODIFICATIONS

HM1 Leisa Hunter

Situational: Hope to save her brother / Fear of losing her brother and failing her mission

Motivation: Want to save her brother / Need to fulfill her duty as a SpecOps corpsman

Mask: Anger / Caring and selfless

Weaknesses: Impulsive, fiercely protective of her family, judgmental, insecure

Triggers: Mentions of her brother, seeing people in danger

Coping Mechanisms: Throwing herself into work, helping others, recklessly fights back

MCSWO Constantine “Connie” Gazis

Situational: Hope to protect Leisa and complete the mission / Fear of losing more soldiers and his covert operations background exposed

Motivation: Want to be the best warrior/leader / Need to prove he’s not too old for combat

Mask: Arrogance / Warrior leader

Weaknesses: Haunted by his past, arrogant

Triggers: Being referred to as too old

Coping Mechanism: Dark humor, isolating himself

GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe

Situational: Hope to be able to juggle all of his endeavors (arms dealer, team member) / Fear of being caught, failing the team, PTSD onset at the wrong time, reveal of his dishonorable discharge

Motivation: Want to lead in combat / Need financial security and to feel needed and valued

Mask: Vulnerable / Toughness

Weaknesses: PTSD, greed

Triggers: Meeting someone who knows his past

Coping Mechanisms: Lying, distracting himself, exercising

Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal

Situational: Hope to be able to fly for a living, prove herself, and honor her father’s memory / Fear that something will prevent her from flying, fear of being a burden and letting her team down

Motivation: Want to fly, to find love / Need to feel free (like a bird), lesbian who falls for her straight leader

Mask: Confidence / Self-doubt

Weaknesses: Addiction, self-doubt

Triggers: Pain, bureaucrats, mentions of her father

Dr. LT Sergio Diaz, US Navy

Situational: Hope to find love / Fear of choosing wrong between his fiancé and Leisa

Motivation: Want to find love / Need to make a choice between the two women he loves

Mask: Professionalism / Emotional sensitivity

Weaknesses: Emotionally invested in Leisa, struggling to choose between the two women

Triggers: Situations where Leisa and his fiancé may learn of each other

Coping Mechanism: Throwing himself into work, avoiding Leisa

Capt Alford Carl, US Marine Corp

Situational: Hope – to be successful / Fear – a subordinate will crash his career

Motivation: Want to fulfill his duty as a Marine officer / Need to prove himself

Mask: By-the-book rule-follower / Ambitious and ruthless

Weaknesses: Arrogant, inflexible

Triggers: presence of a senior officer

Coping Mechanism: denial, return to core training

[Bob Creager]

Bob’s Intriguing Character Layers

What I learned: This process helps flesh out the unique characteristics of the characters big time.

ASSIGNMENT 2

NAVY RECON – Pre-AI version

HM1 Leisa Hunter – member of an MSOT Tactical Element as well as leader of a rogue group of retired warriors.

Hidden agendas: None of her loved ones will ever be abandoned behind enemy lines.
Her forbidden love for an engaged officer.

Competition: All the men in her units.

Conspiracies: Forming a rogue military unit made up of veterans.
Pursuing a romance with an officer/doctor.

Secrets: Her romance.
The rogue unit.

Deception: Deceives the Marine Captain about what she is doing in her “free” time.

Wound: Her father was abandon by the U.S. government when the U.S. pulled out of Afghanistan.

Secret Identity: Leader of a rogue unit.

MCSWO Constantine “Connie” Gazis

Hidden agendas: To prove that he’s not too old to be a warrior.

Competition: Competes against GySgt Roscoe on who is the best warrior.

Conspiracies: Hide the actions of what he calls “his” team.

Secrets: Member of the rogue team.

Deception: Hide the supplying and training of the team.

Wound: Feels responsible for the loss of many sailors in combat.

Secret Identity: Believes he is Col Hannibal Smith of The A-Team.

GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe

Hidden agendas: Find opportunities for his illegal arms sales business.

Competition: Competes against MCSWO Gazis on who is the best warrior.

Conspiracies: Hide is arm sales.
Hide the rogue team from the U.S. military.

Secrets: Arms dealer.

Deception: Hides his arms dealer business from everyone on the team and in the U.S. military.

Wound: Won’t admit or treat his PTSD.

Secret Identity: Arms dealer.

Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal

Hidden agendas: Do what it takes to fly.

Competition: With herself over doing the right thing versus doing what it takes to fly, the only time she is at peace.

Conspiracies: Hides her drug dependencies and the difficulties her combat injury causes her while flying.

Secrets: Drug use.

Deception: Blackmails doctor to provide her with a clear medical exam.
Develops a romantic interest in Leisa, tries to break Leisa up with Sergio.

Wound: Loss of her father in a plane crash while he was teaching her to fly and she crashed her landing.

Secret Identity: Drug user.

Sergio Diaz – love interest

Hidden agendas: To break his addiction to Leisa while doing everything to help her.

Competition: Leisa and his fiancé for his love.

Conspiracies: Secret rendezvous with Leisa.

Secrets: Secret rendezvous with Leisa.

Deception: Hiding his romance with Leisa.

Wound: The end of his romance with Leisa when she resigned her commission.

Secret Identity: Surface – dedicated to fiancé. Under surface – in love with Leisa.

Capt Alford Carl – Marine Special Operations Officer Team Leader

Hidden agendas: To earn his next promotion at the expense of anyone who might tarnish his reputation.

Competition: With other MSOT captains.

Conspiracies:

Secrets:

Deception: Acts supportive.

Wound:

Secret Identity:

PROMPT:

For each of the [main characters] for this [genre] about this [concept], please brainstorm the [Intriguing Layers] of that character that have the fit this TV series well.

Intriguing Layers =

Character Name:

Role:

Hidden
agendas:
Competition:
Conspiracies:
Secrets:
Deception:
Wound:
Secret
Identity:

Genre = Military Thriller Drama

Concept = A SpecOps corpsman must choose between her mission to stop a terrorist attack or rescue her brother, knowing that she will be considered a deserter, and the terrorist attack may succeed.

Main characters =

HM1 Leisa Hunter
MCSWO Constantine “Connie” Gazis
GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe
Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal
Dr. Sergio Diaz
Special Operations Officer Team Leader (Marine Captain) who will now be named “Capt Alford Carl.”

BARD

HM1 Leisa Hunter

Hidden
agenda: To save her brother, even if it means sacrificing her career and
reputation.
Competition:
Competing with the Marine Captain to stop the terrorist attack first.
Conspiracies:
The State Department is covering up the truth about Leisa’s father’s death
because he discovered classified information about a secret government
operation.
Secrets:
Keeping her relationship with Dr. Sergio Diaz a secret from her team.
Deception:
Deceiving her team by working with the rogue team of retired warriors.
Wound:
Haunted by the death of her father, a State Department contractor who was
abandoned in Afghanistan during the withdrawal, then captured and killed
by the Taliban.
Secret
identity: None.

MCSWO Constantine “Connie” Gazis

Hidden
agenda: To protect Leisa from herself and to ensure that she completes her
mission.
Competition:
Competing with the Marine Captain to stop the terrorist attack first.
Conspiracies:
Working with a secret informant to expose a conspiracy within the
military.
Secrets:
Keeping his past as a covert operative a secret from the rest of the team.
Deception:
Deceiving the team about the true nature of their mission.
Wound:
Haunted by the loss of his fellow soldiers in combat.
Secret
identity: None.

GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe

Hidden
agenda: To avenge the death of his best friend, who was killed by the
terrorist group that is holding Leisa’s brother hostage.
Competition:
Competing with the Marine Captain to stop the terrorist attack first.
Conspiracies:
Believes that there is a conspiracy within the military to cover up the
truth about the terrorist attack.
Secrets:
Keeping his PTSD and nightmares a secret from the rest of the team.
Deception:
Deceiving the team about the true nature of his motivations for joining
the mission.
Wound:
Struggling with the physical and mental scars of war.
Secret
identity: None.

Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal

Hidden
agenda: To prove herself as a pilot and a soldier.
Competition:
Competing with the Marine Captain to stop the terrorist attack first.
Conspiracies:
Suspects that the Marine Captain may be involved in a conspiracy to cover
up the truth about her father’s death.
Secrets:
Keeping her struggles with anxiety and depression a secret from the rest
of the team.
Deception:
Deceiving the team about the true nature of her motivations for joining
the mission.
Wound:
Struggling to come to terms with the death of her father, who was a pilot
who died in a crash.
Secret
identity: None.

Dr. Sergio Diaz

Hidden
agenda: To protect Leisa from physical and emotional harm.
Competition:
Competing with the Marine Captain for Leisa’s affections.
Conspiracies:
Suspects that the Marine Captain may be involved in a conspiracy to harm
Leisa.
Secrets:
Keeping his feelings for Leisa a secret from his colleagues.
Deception:
Deceiving his colleagues about the true nature of his relationship with
Leisa.
Wound:
Struggling to come to terms with the end of his relationship with Leisa.
Secret
identity: None.

Capt Alford Carl

Hidden
agenda: To complete his mission and stop the terrorist attack, even if it
means sacrificing Leisa and her brother.
Competition:
Competing with the rogue team of retired warriors to stop the terrorist
attack first.
Conspiracies:
Investigating a suspected conspiracy within the military.
Secrets:
Keeping his true motivations for joining the military a secret from his
team.
Deception:
Deceiving the team about the true nature of the mission.
Wound:
The pressure of being responsible for the lives of his team members.
Secret
identity: None.

[Bob Creager]

Mod 1 Lesson 3

Bob’s Engaging Main Characters

What I learned: Breaking down each main character using the engaging character model helps flesh out your characters and see how they fit in the overall scheme of the series.

Assignment 1

Succession – Kendall Roy

A. Role in the show: Heir apparent, acting CEO

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Trained to take over the company. Must keep the family in harmony while trying to lead the company’s recovery.

C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface? Kendall is basically a weak and insecure leader who fears failure.

D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing? Sell out the family to keep the company going by diluting stock ownership.

E. Unpredictable: What will they do next? Make any deal necessary.

F. Empathetic: Why do we care? We feel sorry for him because everyone is against him.

Assignment 2

Navy Recon –

1. Journey of the show – Leisa is forced to build a rogue team to rescue her brother when the government refused to do so.

2. Main Characters

The Rogue Team:

HM1 Leisa Hunter
MCSWO Constantine “Connie” Gazis
GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe
Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal

3. The details for the characters

HM1 Leisa Hunter

A. Role in the show: Navy Hospital Corpsman who risks her career to save those abandoned behind enemy lines.

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Trained as an emergency room nurse, enlisted as a hospital corpsman, assigned to a Marine Raider unit who will ignore orders to rescue the abandoned.

C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface? Builds a team to carry out missions that the Marines refuse to do.

D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing? Willing to put her Marine unit at risk by not being there for them when needed.

E. Unpredictable: What will they do next? Will she follow orders? Will she maintain a relationship with an officer?

F. Empathetic: Why do we care? We want her to succeed in her efforts to save civilians.

Master Chief Special Warfare Operator (retired) Constantine “Connie” Gazis

A. Role in the show: Retired Navy SEAL serves as the tactical leader of the missions.

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: SEAL / Pushes Leisa into going rogue.

C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface? Addicted to combat. Abandoned his family.

D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing? Serving against the orders of the U.S. military.

E. Unpredictable: What will they do next? Whatever reckless maneuver he can think of.

F. Empathetic: Why do we care? He’s like the old uncle that doesn’t fit in but has all the great stories.

Marine Gunnery Sergeant (retired) William “Bird Dog” Roscoe

A. Role in the show: Weapons expert.

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Can acquire and weapon needed.

C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface? Will risk breaking the law to get what he needs.

D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing? Theft, double crossing sellers.

E. Unpredictable: What will they do next? Provide weapons a little above board.

F. Empathetic: Why do we care? We want him to succeed because he is key to the safety of the team.

Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal (medical discharge)

A. Role in the show: Pilot for all helicopters and small aircraft.

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Pilot / The one that will find a way in and out.

C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface? A deep fear that she will die in a plane crash just like her dad.

D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing? She has an addiction to pain killers and will fly under the influence.

E. Unpredictable: What will they do next? Not always the most reliable on meeting the schedule of the mission.

F. Empathetic: Why do we care? We want her to overcome her ghosts.

4. AI generated version of characters:

PROMPT: For each of the [main characters] for this [genre] about this [concept], please brainstorm the [Character Basics] of that character that fits this TV series well.

Character Basics =

A. Role in the show:

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise:

C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface?

D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing?

E. Unpredictable: What will they do next?

F. Empathetic: Why do we care?

Genre = Military Thriller Drama

Concept = A SpecOps corpsman must choose between her mission to stop a terrorist attack or rescue her brother, knowing that she will be considered a deserter, and the terrorist attack may succeed.

Main characters =

HM1 Leisa Hunter
MCSWO Constantine “Connie” Gazis
GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe
Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal

BARD RESPONSE

HM1 Leisa Hunter

A. Role in the show: Protagonist, Special Amphibious Reconnaissance Corpsman (SARC) attached to a Marine Special Operations Team (MSOT).

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Highly skilled and experienced medic, skilled fighter, expert in survival and wilderness medicine.

C. Intrigue: Haunted by the death of her father, a former SpecOps soldier who was killed in action. Struggling with the guilt of not being able to save him.

D. Moral Issue: Torn between her loyalty to her team and her country and her loyalty to her family. Knows that helping her brother will make her a deserter.

E. Unpredictable: Capable of making impulsive decisions when her emotions are heightened. Willing to put herself in danger to protect others.

F. Empathetic: Deeply caring and compassionate, driven by a strong sense of duty and responsibility. Viewers can relate to her struggle to balance her personal and professional obligations.

MCSWO Constantine “Connie” Gazis

A. Role in the show: Mentor, leader of the rogue team of retired warriors.

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Vast experience in SpecOps missions, skilled tactician, expert in demolitions and close-quarters combat.

C. Intrigue: Haunted by the loss of his fellow soldiers in combat. Struggling with survivor’s guilt and a cynical outlook on life.

D. Moral Issue: Willing to bend the rules to achieve his goals. Believes that the ends justify the means.

E. Unpredictable: Capable of making ruthless decisions when necessary. Not afraid to take risks.

F. Empathetic: Despite his cynical exterior, he has a deep sense of loyalty to those he cares about. Viewers can see the pain beneath his hardened exterior.

GySgt William “Bird Dog” Roscoe

A. Role in the show: Weapons expert, member of the rogue team of retired warriors.

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Expert marksman, skilled tracker, knowledgeable about a wide range of weapons and explosives.

C. Intrigue: Struggling with the physical and mental scars of war. Haunted by the violence he has witnessed and participated in.

D. Moral Issue: Willing to use lethal force without hesitation. Believes that violence is sometimes necessary to achieve peace.

E. Unpredictable: Capable of sudden outbursts of anger. Prone to making rash decisions.

F. Empathetic: Despite his gruff exterior, he has a deep sense of loyalty to his comrades. Viewers can see the pain he is trying to hide.

Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal

A. Role in the show: Helicopter pilot, member of the rogue team of retired warriors.

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Skilled pilot, knowledgeable about aircraft maintenance and repair, experienced in emergency medical procedures.

C. Intrigue: Struggling with the loss of her father, who was a pilot who died in a crash. Haunted by the feeling that she could have done more to save him.

D. Moral Issue: Willing to take risks that others would not. Believes that sometimes you have to break the rules to do the right thing.

E. Unpredictable: Capable of making daring and impulsive decisions. Not afraid to challenge authority.

F. Empathetic: Deeply caring and compassionate, driven by a strong sense of justice. Viewers can relate to her struggle to come to terms with her father’s death.

[Bob Creager]

Mod 1 Lesson 2

Bob’s Three Circles of Characters

What I learned: Each character builds on one of the main characters and adds to an expansion of the story universe.

Assignment 1

Succession

Main Characters Circle: Logan, Kendall, Roman, Siobhan “Shiv”, Connor, Tom, Greg

Connected Circle: Frank, Marcia, Lawrence Yee, Gerri (general council)

Environment Circle: Kendall’s business associates, family staff, lawyers, Rava, other family members, theme park staff/guests, city folk, hospital staff, Willa (Connor’s girlfriend?), Caroline (board staff)

Assignment 2

Main Characters Circle:

HM1 Leisa Hunter, US Navy – protagonist – SpecOps Corpsman (SARC – Special Amphibious Reconnaissance Corpsman) Once a Navy nurse, she resigns her commission to enlist as a corpsman so that she can go onto the battlefield to aid those most in need.

LT Sergio Diaz, US Navy – love interest – Navy Doctor. Sergio has a relationship with Leisa that is interrupted by orders to deploy for three years while she becomes enlisted, thus preventing any future relationships as officer/enlisted romances are outlawed.

Master Chief Special Warfare Operator (retired) Constantine “Connie” Gazis. Defacto and the wise leader of Leisa’s gang of retired warriors who team up with her for their rogue missions.

Marine Gunnery Sergeant (retired) William “Bird Dog” Roscoe. Bird Dog is always on the hunt for trouble and frequently is the cause of that trouble.

Maj Lani “SkyQueen” Baal, US Army – medical discharge. Sky Queen can fly any helicopter and most small aircraft and will do anything to be in the air especially once the Army grounded her for injuries gained in combat.

Connected Circle:

Special Operations Officer Team Leader (Marine Captain) – antagonist. The Captain is a by-the-book Marine who believes that if it hasn’t been trained, it’s not happening in his MSOT (which includes a Headquarters Team and two Tactical Element Teams.)

Leisa’s Marine Tactical Element Team Leader (Staff Sergeant)

Nathan Hunter, 25, Leisa’s brother – Habitat for Humanity volunteer

CAPT Arya Hunter, 45, Leisa’s mother – USN Submarine commanding officer

More to come…

Environment Circle:

MSOT Tactical Elements team members:

3 – Sergeant/Corporal

Others:

Marines, Sailors, base personnel, villagers, Habitat for Humanity volunteers, hospital personnel and patients.

PROMPT

PROMPT: Please create three groups of characters for my TV Series that is [genre] about [concept] that is set in [sub-world] and are unique to this story.

A. Main Characters as previously determined: Special Amphibious Reconnaissance Corpsman (SARC) Leisa hunter, Sergio Diaz, Constantine “Connie” Gazis, William “Bird Dog” Roscoe, Lani “SkyQueen” Baal. Tell us the following about the rogue team of retired warriors and Leisa:

Unique Role:

Secret or Intrigue:

B. Connected Characters: These are characters that the main characters interact with during the season. They play a part in the journey in some way and sometimes affect the main character’s actions. They include the 14 members of the Marine Special Operations Team led by a Marine Captain. Note that Leisa is attached to one of the MSOT Tactical Elements; Leisa’s brother Nathan Hunter, a Habitat for Humanity volunteer who is held hostage by a terrorist group.

C. Environment Characters: These are background characters that are necessary to fulfill the “standard roles” for your kind of story, but usually don’t do anything significant. List them by their jobs only.

Genre = Military Thriller Drama

Concept = A SpecOps corpsman must choose between her mission to stop a terrorist attack or rescue her brother, knowing that she will be considered a deserter, and the terrorist attack may succeed.

Sub-World = A Marine Special Operations Team (MSOT) must stop a terrorist attack in a hostile territory, while also finding a rogue SARC and her team of retired SpecOps fighters who are trying to rescue the SARC’s brother. The SARC and her team are putting themselves and their mission in danger, and the MSOT must race against time to stop the terrorist attack and prevent an international incident.

AI RESPONSE TO PROMPT

Unique Role
Rogue Team of Retired Warriors
Leader:

Leisa
Hunter – A Special Amphibious Reconnaissance Corpsman (SARC) who is
attached to a Marine Special Operations Team (MSOT). She is a highly
skilled and experienced medic, and she is also a skilled fighter. Leisa is
fiercely loyal to her team and her country, but she is also fiercely
protective of her family.

Other Members:

Master
Chief Special Warfare Operator (retired) Constantine “Connie”
Gazis – A skilled and experienced leader who is fiercely loyal to
Leisa and her team. Connie is also a wise and compassionate man, but he
has a cynical streak due to the loss of his fellow soldiers in combat.
Marine
Gunnery Sergeant (retired) William “Bird Dog” Roscoe – A
gruff and tough weapons expert who is fiercely patriotic and always
willing to serve his country. Bird Dog is also a reliable and supportive
friend to Leisa and her team, but he is not afraid to speak his mind, even
if it means being blunt.
Maj
Lani “SkyQueen” Baal (medical discharge) – A skilled and
fearless helicopter pilot who is fiercely independent and compassionate.
SkyQueen is also deeply motivated to help Leisa save her brother, as she lost
her own father in a plane crash.

Secret or Intrigue

The
rogue team of retired warriors is on a mission to rescue Leisa’s brother,
Nathan Hunter, who is being held hostage by a terrorist group. The team is
also trying to prevent the terrorist group from carrying out a major
attack.
Leisa
is torn between her loyalty to her team and her country and her loyalty to
her family. She knows that if she helps the rogue team rescue her brother,
she will be considered a deserter. However, she also knows that if she
doesn’t help them, her brother may be killed.

Connected Characters

Nathan
Hunter – Leisa’s brother who is being held hostage by a terrorist group.
Marine
Captain – The leader of the Marine Special Operations Team that Leisa is
attached to.
Other
members of the Marine Special Operations Team

Environment Characters

Doctors
Nurses
Soldiers
Terrorists
Civilians

[Bob Creager]

Succession 5 Star Model

What I learned: After watching it the first time, I fell into spectator mode. The second viewing was much better. I picked up setup/payoffs that I missed earlier and was able to understand the backstory of the siblings better.

Big
Picture Hooks
Logan Roy, 80, plans on retiring and passing the media conglomerate on to
his son, Kendall, but changes his mind, throwing Kendal and his siblings
into turmoil.
Amazing
and Intriguing Character
Each character has their own reasons for wanting to retain or increase
their power in the family dynamics. Each character is seriously flawed and
potentially a benefit to the company and to Logan’s dream. The main
characters:

Logan Roy, business genius, hard on friends, foes, and family, refuses to retire.

Kendall Roy, heir apparent. Logan doesn’t trust him, thinks he’s weak with no killer instinct.

Roman Roy, corporate dropout, always with the inappropriate behavior, with a secret goal to be CEO.

Siobhan “Shiv” Roy, not in the family business but Logan dangles the plum of taking over the overseas businesses. She caves.

Conner Roy, rancher, a business outsider.

Tom, Shiv’s husband, a suck-up, not respected by anyone.

Greg, Logan’s grandnephew, young, tries to maneuver a way into leadership without any skills to back up his desire.

Empathy
/ Distress
Logan: We empathize with him because he has the worst set of children to
follow in his footsteps. Each child has their own issues that impact their
ability to lead which causes Logan distress.

Kendall: Hard to empathize with him because he is such a failure but
really, being told he wasn’t going to be promoted right at the last minute
coupled with Lawrence pulling a fast one on him (accepting the deal when
he finds out that Logan is in the hospital) and threatening to take down
each of the board members makes us feel for him.

Roman: It’s good to see someone who appears to not have drank the Kool-Aid
until it comes out that he wants the top job just like the others.

Shiv: She appears different and we root for her and just like Roman, she’s
after the big job.

Conner: As he is not involved in the business, he isn’t taken seriously by
the family. We hope he’s able to keep his independence.

Tom: He’s comes off as a bit of a wimp, and we cringe when Logan ignores
him and his gift.

Greg: The next generation and just like the others, he wants to be thrust
to the levels of upper management without the skills to back them up. We
just know that he’s going to be dumped on and probably by Logan.
Layers
/ Open Loops
Will Logan retire? Who will become CEO? What will Marcy, the stepmother’s,
role be? Who will come out on top of the shuffle for positions? Will Greg
become a successful member of the family?
Inviting
Obsession
We really must find out how the family dynamics plays out. Will Logan
live?

[Bob Creager]

Bob Creager

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Bob Creager]

1. Bob Creager

2. Excluding the crap scripts, I have 7 features, and 4 pilots

3. The ability to brainstorm with ease.

4. I’m perfectly normal.

5. PS51, MSC4, BWTV4, and a number of the smaller classes.