Dale Griffiths Stamos
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Dale’s Profound Map
What I learned from this assignment was, when I reviewed all the lessons, there were more insights than I thought, and a lot of new ways to deepen the screenplay.
TITLE: Pickering’s Harem
WRITTEN BY: Dale Griffiths Stamos
WHAT IS YOUR PROFOUND TRUTH?
1. Sticking to your guns eventually pays off.
2. Learning to trust in your own insights and intelligence leads to greater self worth as well as recognition.
What is the Transformational Journey?
Old Ways:
She was brought up in a home of equality where both the boy and the two girls were given equal educations. She then went to Vassar where she received three degrees with honors: in physics, astronomy, and philosophy. In these rarified family and educational environments, she is led to believe that she, as a woman, can accomplish as much in the world of science, as a man.
JOURNEY:
New Ways:
Antonia learns, soon enough, that in the world she enters after graduation, the equality she expected is far from easily obtained. Nor is recognition of the unique work that she does. She discovers not only that she must fight for proper recognition, but she must overcome her natural shyness and timidity to stand up for herself and her discoveries.
Transformational Logline:
Antonia Maury, one of 19th century astronomer, Edward Pickering’s, “computers” who believes she can add to science but doesn’t realize she must fight for it, must navigate the biased and sexist world of late 19th century America, to learn to stand up for her worth and accomplishments.
WHO ARE YOUR LEAD CHARACTERS?
Change Agent (the one causing the change):
The change agent is Edward Pickering who is also, in many ways, an antagonist. He is an established astronomer, something Antonia longs to be, he is the one who hires her, albeit to only do “computing” work at less than half the pay the male employees get. He is the one who takes the bulk of the credit for one of her discoveries which spurs her, out of pride and a sense of justice, to resent this. He is also the one who rejects her classification system, forcing her to stick to her guns about it, even if recognition is long in coming.
Transformable Character (the one who makes the change):
The Transformable Character is Antonia Maury.
Betraying Character:
Antonia’s aunt, Anna Palmer Draper is, I believe, the Betraying Character, as she seems to represent women in science in the “old ways.” Even though she was very much a partner to her husband in his scientific endeavors, she is willing to take a back seat to him. She also represents the “old ways” in terms of women and their “proper” behavior, which she does not think Antonia is following. As such, she will end up not supporting her niece when the chips are down.
Oppression:
The Oppression is mainly the late 19th century world Antonia lives in—one in which women are underpaid and not thought capable of independent discovery. Pickering in his own way, is quite progressive when it comes to supporting women in the sciences. But he’s not progressive enough for Antonia’s need to make independent discoveries.
HOW DO YOU CONNECT WITH YOUR AUDIENCE IN THE BEGINNING OF THE MOVIE?
Relatability — They Are Us
We relate to Antonia’s naivete of how things really are in the world of science for women. We relate to her intelligence and desire to make a mark in the world.
Intrigue
For Antonia, the intrigue is how will she, as a highly intelligent and well educated woman in the sciences deal with a rather tedious and repetitive job that doesn’t pay women well? And will her contributions be recognized?
Empathy
We are at first excited for Antonia as she graduates and embarks on a career in astronomy, and then, like her, disappointed by how limited the work is (for example, she can’t be in the observatory looking at the night sky which she was so looking forward to). We also feel for her shyness and reserved nature. She is awkward and stumbles over her worlds – she is certainly not charming and beautiful like her aunt. (Perhaps Pickering praises her aunt to her, and she clearly doesn’t have these same traits.)
Likability
We see Antonia’s likeability in that, after her mother’s death, she delayed in responding to Pickering’s letter because she was taking over the household and arranging for her sibling’s education. We see she is caring and family-oriented.
GRADIENTS OF CHANGE
THE “DESIRED CHANGE” EMOTIONAL GRADIENT:
A. Emotion: Excitement
B. Action: Antonia gets a job at the Harvard Observatory as a “computer”
C. Challenge: Taking on her first science job after college / Weakness: Hubris / Expectation of more.
A. Emotion: Doubt
B. Action: Is disappointed to learn she cannot work in the observatory, wonders if her skills can properly be used as simply a “computer”
C. Challenge: To make use of her current position / Weakness: Resistance to the tedium of the job.
A. Emotion: Hope
B. Action: She begins to find interesting things in the work she’s doing – in particular in levels of a classification system that have heretofore not been discovered.
C. Challenge: To convince her boss, Pickering, of the value of her discovery / Weakness: Caught between wanting to please or placate him and wanting recognition
A. Emotion: Discouragement
B. Action: Leaves the Observatory, taking her data with her – not sure she will get the credit she deserves
C. Challenge How to continue her important work on her own or whether to abandon / Weakness: Pride
A. Emotion: Courage
B. Action: She returns to the Observatory, getting the credit she has asked for in the form of an article that features her research and has her name at the top. However, her classification plan is not adopted.
C. Challenge: How to move forward when the full value of her work is not really recognized. / Weakness: Resentment
A. Emotion: Triumph (and some loss)
B. Action: First she gets praise and recognition from other scientists, but her system is still not officially adopted. She pours herself into other work with the new director. Many years later, her classification system is touted as something that would have advanced astronomy by decades if it had been adopted. Then a final triumph then in receiving the Annie Jump Cannon Award for Astronomy.
C. Challenge: To accept that the recognition is better late than never / Weakness: Some residual resentment over the fact that she’d been right all along.
THE ACTION GRADIENT:
In Pickering’s Harem, there are setups in the beginning where the classmates tell Antonia how hard it will be out there (and it is.) There are the setups of various observations she makes that lead to distinct discoveries. There is the setup of her aunt telling her she must still “act like a lady” and her assertion in the end that a lady acts in many different ways. There are the setup situations with Pickering where she is looking to please him, but in the end realizes she must please herself instead. Questions that get setup and eventually answered are: Will Antonia overcome her insecurities and shyness to stand up to both Pickering and her aunt. Will she trust enough in her scientific instincts to know that her discoveries are valuable even if not immediately recognized
WHAT IS THE TRANSFORMATIONAL STRUCTURE OF YOUR STORY?
MM#1 pgs 1-15 Status Quo and Call to Adventure
Antonia’s normal world is one in which she is a Vassar student gaining honors in three areas, physics, philosophy and astronomy, attending a class taught by Maria Mitchell, who discovered a comet. She has received a home education from her father, equal to that of her brother (and her other sister – who also becomes a scientist.) She has been encouraged by her uncle in her interests in science, and even, from an early age, is invited into his lab to be his “assistant.” Not only does her father, a minister and an amateur naturalist, treat her equally, but so does her uncle.
The Call to Adventure/ Inciting Incident: When she goes to work for Pickering at HCO
Change Agent: Pickering
Transformational Character: Antonia
Old Ways: Entitled, naïve
The Vision: Make a contribution to science
Challenge: The work environment she enters only partially allows women to do science
Weakness: Shy, unassuming
MM#2 Locked into Conflict
Even though Antonia is disappointed to learn that she will not be able to make direct observations in the observatory (she might complain to her sister or her father about this?) and will only be a “computer” at less than half the pay, she soon realizes that her only other choice is teaching, and at least here, she is working in the scientific realm. So she begrudgingly accepts these conditions, albeit not ideal.
Old Ways: Some anger and resentment at this compromise
Challenge: How to still try and make a valuable contribution
Weaknesses: Doesn’t feel like she needs to follow authority (this may also be a strength)
MM#3 Hero tries to solve problem but fails.
In 1887, Pickering discovered the first binary star: Mizar (Ursae Majoris) and had Antonia calculate its orbit. However, she barely gets any credit for this work, which angers her.
Antonia then discovered a second binary, Beta Aurigae, (she is very excited by the discovery of double K lines) and calculated its orbital period,. She feels like she’s making a real contribution.
Change Agent: Pickering, through his not according her proper credit, forces her to stand up for herself more.
Old Ways: Assuming she doesn’t have to fight for herself, but it will be given her naturally
New Ways: Realizing she is going to have to fight
Weaknesses: Is still shy and emotionally fragile and so this is difficult for her.
MM#4 Hero forms a new plan
Fighting to express her own independent discoveries, Antonia realizes that the photos shot with the 11 inch Draper (her uncle’s!) telescope is enabling her to see things the other computers haven’t. She forms her own insights and in turn a more sophisticated classification system than the “accepted” Fleming/Pickering one. Annie Jump Cannon, meanwhile, works on simply refining that accepted system.
Vision: To make a true contribution to astronomy
Old Ways: Still believes her discovery will stand on its own
New Ways: Begins to believe she can make independent discoveries without Pickering or Fleming’s guidance
Turning Point / Midpoint: Pickering pressures her to finish her work, she leaves in frustration and exhaustion.
MM#5 Hero retreats and the Antagonism Prevails
Frustrated, Antonia goes home to live with her father – who complains to Pickering on behalf of his daughter (which she doesn’t want him to do.) She works at the Gilman School. She has taken her data with her because past experience has made her wonder if Pickering will give her credit for her discoveries. He asks her to come back, or at least let someone else continue with her data. “I do not think it is fair that I should pass the work into other hands until it can stand as work done by me,” she writes Pickering. Enter the antagonist, Anna Draper, who, though she is Antonia’s niece, represents the “old ways” in terms of women being contributors but being happy to be in the background, as she was for her husband. She tells Antonia she has still made plenty of contributions to science with the egotistical need to get personal credit for it. She even tells Pickering he should considering dismissing her. (Although, interestingly, she once harbored the dream of continuing her husband’s research herself. She ended up deciding to let Pickering, with his greater resources and equipment, take on the task.)
Vision: To get appropriate credit for her work.
Old Ways: Retreating, at first.
New Ways: Stands up to Pickering with her letter to him.
Betraying Character: She discovers that her aunt is encouraging Pickering to sever his relationship with her niece.
Challenge: How to continue her work under these conditions.
MM#6 – Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan
Antonia agrees to return when it appears that Pickering will, in fact, give her proper credit for her discoveries in terms of spectral lines. It was published in 1897 as “Spectra of Bright Stars Photographed with the 11-inch Draper Telescope as Part of the Henry Draper Memorial and Discussed by Antonia C. Maury under the direction of Edward Charles Pickering.” It was the first time, in fact, that a woman is given this sort of credit. But it is only a partial victory.
Despite two other astronomers praising the important subtleties of her classification system, Pickering uses the Annie Jump Cannon system, adapted from the Pickering/Fleming system, as the official spectral analysis system for the The Revised Harvard Photometry, published in 1908. Danish astronomer, Ejnar Hertzsprung of Copenhagen, an astronomer who had discovered Antonia’s system and used it distinguish red dwarf stars from giants, wrote the following to Professor Pickering: “To neglect the c-properties in classifying stellar spectra, I think, is nearly the same thing as if the zoologist, who has detected the deciding differences between a whale and a fish, would continue classifying them together.”
Old Ways: Passively accept what is happening
New Ways: Create a new path for herself, one she can live with
MM#7: Crisis and Climax
Antonia must decide whether to continue work at the observatory or to leave it, because of the lack of recognition for how much more significant her classification system is than the one that is adopted. There will be a scene between her and Pickering where she challenges him on using Annie’s system and not her own. His answers do not satisfy her, and, at this important crossroads, she chooses to leave and returns to teaching.
Old Ways: Try to get along.
New Ways: Give up on adapting to a system that doesn’t fully recognize her contributions and strike out on her own to form a new path.
MM#8: New Status Quo
She returns in 1918 to the Harvard Observatory as an adjunct professor and researcher, under the leadership of Professor Harlow Shapley, who is much better about giving her full credit for her work. She throws herself into her passion for binary systems, her favorite being Beta Lyrae which still has mysterious aspects to it. Her work summarizing many years of research on the spectroscopic analysis of this star gets published in 1933.
NOTE: *Not until 1922 did the International Astronomical Union (IAU) modify its classification system based on the work done by Maury and Hertzsprung, a formulation known as the Hertzsprung–Russell diagram.[12][16] Astronomer Dorrit Hoffleit has presented scientific evidence to support the view that stellar morphology was held back by 30 years as a result of the failure to adopt Antonia Maury’s stellar classification theory sooner. And of course, in 1943, she gets properly recognized with the Annie Jump Cannon award. The film returns to this moment, and to her finishing her speech, as the audience of fellow scientists heartily applauds.
HOW ARE THE “OLD WAYS” CHALLENGED?
Old Ways: Antonia’s old ways include: 1)Belief that she will have equal opportunities in the world – in other words – naïve to the ways of the world for women 2) Pride in her intelligence and honors in three areas of study 2) Reserved and shy 3)Intimidated by Pickering 4) Intimidated by her aunt 5) Despite her initial confidence in her skills, once working under Pickering, she grows unsure of herself and even depressed. 6) Has no confidence when it comes to her looks and style (this is continually re-enforced by her aunt) 7) Belief that her work will stand on its own.
OLD WAY: Antonia believes that her education will provide her equal opportunities in the world of science. (OW: Naivete)
CHALLENGE: Her classmates at Vassar try to disabuse her of this belief – emphasizing that it is nowhere near what is out there in the “real world.”
OLD WAY: When she arrives at HCO, she believes she will have the opportunity to work in the observatory – as she has observatory experience. (Again: OW: Naivete)
CHALLENGE: But either Pickering or Mina Fleming let her know that women are not allowed in the observatory for two reasons: It is night and therefore more “dangerous for the ladies” and the equipment tends to be heavy to manipulate. Of course, Antonia finds both these reasons ridiculous.
OLD WAY: Working with her uncle’s 11-inch telescope, Antonia believes that she should be using her initiative to note the special elements that can only be seen with these more close up views. She expresses her excitement at this. (OW: Faith her abilities will get rewarded)
CHALLENGE: Pickering lets her know that they are already working with the simpler-to-use Pickering / Fleming system and seems somewhat annoyed that she wants to go outside the bounds of that. He is on a deadline, and that kind of meticulous detail will slow them down.
OLD WAY: Pickering assigns her the task of calculating the orbit on a binary star, Mizar, he has discovered – which she does. She then discovers and calculates the orbit of a second binary star., Beta Aurigae. She is proud of this!
CHALLENGE: When Pickering publishes results in the American Journal of Science in 1890 about Mizar, the only mention he makes of Antonia is: “…a careful study of the results has been made by Miss A.C. Maury, a niece of Dr. Draper.” This is not the full credit Antonia expected. (He also announced the achievement at a meeting of the American Journal of Science in 1890 – probably with no or little mention of Maury.)
OLD WAY: Working with Pickering and his complaints about her work bring up her insecurities and vulnerabilities. (She had missed the agreed upon Dec. 1, 1893 deadline to hand in her work.) As she says in a letter to him: “I have often said that your criticisms had from the beginning so shaken my faith in my own ability to work with accuracy that I have been struggling with a great weight of discouragement from the start.”
CHALLENGE: And yet, she is not willing to give her up her data on the Northern Bright Stars or new work on the new binary, Beta Lyrae, and she expresses this to Pickering.
OLD WAY: Feels, as she always has, intimidated by her aunt, Mary Anna Draper. This doesn’t help when her aunt sides with Pickering, and may remonstrate Antonia about not being a good team player. Why does she need credit – she was perfectly willing to let her husband get all the credit though they both worked together. (OW: Insecure, dominated.)
CHALLENGE: She questions her aunt and says to her: “And is that fair, aunt? Is that fair to us women, is that fair to science?” (Stands up to her aunt.)
OLD WAY: She has a hard time combatting the sense of insecurity around Pickering and his demands for the work.
CHALLENGE: But she rises to the occasion and completes the work in 1895.: She is given proper credit for it in 1897 in the publication: Spectra of Bright Stars Photographed with the 11-inch Draper Telescope.”
OLD WAY: She continues to think that her discoveries and mapping out of a new classification system will have its day. (OW: Believing a discovery stands on its own with no mitigating circumstances.)
CHALLENGE: Nonetheless, The Revised Harvard Photometry was published in 1908 with The Pickering / Fleming system.
OLD WAY: At the Solar Union’s Pasadena meeting in 1910, where Pickering wanted astronomers everywhere to respect this compendium as the standard reference authority, she would have retreated from a fight before.
CHALLENGE: Now she defends her system at the meeting, saying the “c-characteristic… represented a fundamental property of the stars.” Danish astronomer Ejnar Hertzsprung also comes to her defense and in 1905 distinguishes two types of red stars, dwarfs and giants, and argues his red giants were the stars Maury had categorized with c-characteristics.
OLD WAY: Expects recognition.
CHALLENGE: Finds a way to move on by throwing herself into another astronomical passion that of binary stars – in particular the mysterious Beta Lyrae. She ends up publishing a lot about her research.
OLD WAY: The expectation that she would get equal recognition as a woman in science.
CHALLENGE: It was more of a struggle and took much longer than she expected, but she is finally vindicated by the the International Astronomical Union (IAU) modifying its classification system based on the work done by Maury and Hertzsprung, a formulation known as the Hertzsprung–Russell diagram. (Russell and Hertzsprung began work on this in 1913, relying on some of Maury’s system.) And then, of course, her Annie Jump Cannon Award in 1943.
5 Question Challenges to an Old Way:
Antonia’s old way: To believe that her work and her merit should stand on their own, regardless of her sex.
1. Her classmates question her naivete and tell her that she will not be accepted equal to men in the outside world.
2. Mina Fleming tells her that she won’t be able to work in the observatory.
3. Pickering questions her need to work in such detail creating a more refined classification system.
4. Her aunt questions her need for credit for her work.
5. Her father questions her ability to work at HCO when it’s clearly upsetting her and affecting her health.
5 Counterexamples to an Old Way.
1. Mina Fleming is a counter example because although she is not happy with the pay she receives, she works within the parameters Pickering has set.
2. Pickering is a counter example when he does not give Antonia full credit for her work on the 1st binary star.
3. Annie Jump Cannon proves another counter example when, after reviewing both classification systems, she decides to support and work within the Pickering/Fleming system.
4. Her aunt is a counter example as she represents the imperative to be “feminine” and to be willing to let the man take the bulk of the credit.
5. The Solar Union is a counter example when the majority of them decide to adopt the Pickering/Jump Cannon system rather than her own.
5 Should Work, but don’t challenges:
1. Antonia has experience working in an observatory. She should be able to ask for and be given the opportunity to work in the Harvard Observatory, but Willamina Fleming lets her know that women are not allowed.
2. At Vassar, Antonia got proper recognition for her work. (She was only competing with fellow women, thus the playing field was level.) At HCO, her work on the binary, Mizar, is not fully recognized by Pickering.
3. At Vassar, Antonia’s meticulous hard work always paid off. She was rewarded with honors in three different areas of study. But at HCO, her meticulous hard work is met with annoyance by Pickering who 1) does not want to even consider a different classification system and 2) Is in a hurry to publish results and Antonia is slowing that process down.
4. Antonia believes that she can get her aunt to like her more by proving her work useful, but instead, her aunt remonstrates her even more.
5. She decides to return to teaching (Old ways in that this is the “safe” choice) but her desire to work in the field of astronomy pulls her back to HCO, where, in fact, she is able to throw herself into work on the binaries.
5 Living Metaphor challenges
1. The “fly swatter” and glass plates she works on are metaphors for the intricate and detailed (and sometimes monotonous) work she has been relegated to. (Working in astronomy doesn’t appear to be as exciting as she had expected.)
2. Her uncles 11-inch telescope is a metaphor representing both old ways and new, in that he was one of the people who make her feel her mind was valuable, and his telescope is now enabling her to see more detail in her work, and thus make novel discoveries.
3. When she overhears the male colleagues refer to the computers as “Pickering’s Harem,” this challenges her old way of thinking she will be treated the same as the men.
4. The article published by Pickering about the binary star Mizar challenges her old ways of expecting equitable credit.
5. Binary stars themselves are a type of metaphor for the “double life” she must learn to live – one in which she is a woman and a scientist.
HOW ARE YOU PRESENTING INSIGHTS THROUGH PROFOUND MOMENTS?
Action delivers insight
1. Antonia stands up for herself with Pickering
2. Antonia stands up for herself with her aunt
3. Antonia puts forth her classification system for consideration
4. Antonia pours herself into a new passion
5. Antonia receives proper recognition
Ways to turn the New Ways/Insights into Action:
1. Antonia leaves the observatory and takes her data with her – writing him that she has no intention of handing that data to anyone else.
2. Despite her aunt telling her she must appear at dinner in “proper attire,” she comes to dinner wearing her usual drab clothing.
3. Antonia, though nervous, stands up in front of the Solar Union and makes an impassioned plea for her classification system. Only one person stands up and claps, that is Danish astronomer Hertzsprung.
4. Antonia returns to HCO and we see her analyzing data of the binary star Beta Lyrae, late into the night.
5. Antonia receives the Annie Jump Cannon award, and walks to the stage amidst enthusiastic applause.
Conflict delivers insight
INSIGHT – You must stand up for your own worth and integrity.
Antonia stands up for herself with her aunt in the following ways:
Through action – by wearing her normal clothes to dinner, rather than changing to suit her aunt’s demands.
Through argument – by calling her aunt out on being “old school” – on thinking an intelligent woman must hide it, and stand behind the man, rather than on her own.
Antonia stands up for herself to Pickering in the following ways:
Through argumentation – by arguing for the importance of her classification system
Through action – by leaving HCO, thus leaving Pickering in the lurch.
Through refusal to comply – with Pickering’s demand to hand her work over to another HCO employee
Antonia stands up to the scientific community:
Through argument: By presenting her system, despite her shyness, to an important scientific gathering
Through action: By refusing to give up on making a difference to science, despite setbacks (which she does, not only in her original area, but in others).
Irony delivers insight
INSIGHT: Intelligence and capability alone do not always win the day.
Antonia throws herself into her task of calculating binary star orbits and even discovers a new binary on her own, but she only gets minimal credit for the work. (CREDIT)
INSIGHT: Being a woman doing science in the 1800s means you might not always get recognized for your contributions.
Antonia discovers amazing details in her analysis of the stellar photos that enables her to create a more exact and nuanced classification system, BUT… Her boss, Edward Pickering, does not accept her system. Instead he throws his support behind a simpler system created by her colleague, Annie Jump Cannon. (WIN/LOSE)
Antonia stops the work on her classification system and leaves the observatory. (WRONG THING/RIGHT REASON)
INSIGHT: Sometimes you have to made a radical decision to get people to pay attention to your needs.
It takes years for Antonia to get her long overdue credit – a deep want she has had. But she does rediscover her passion for astronomy by throwing herself into the study of a mysterious binary. (WANT/NEED)
INSIGHT: Let your passion lead you.
Antonia has struggled during her life to get the love and approval of her aunt. In the end she asserts her own identity and pride in who she is, despite the aunt thinking otherwise. (IDENTITY)
INSIGHT: It is more important to please yourself than to please others
Antonia gives up on her classification system ever getting recognized, but 30 years later, not only does it become the adopted system, but she even gets the Annie Jump Cannon award (that being the ultimate irony!) (DEALS)
PROFOUND INSIGHT: In the end, the truth will have its day.
What are the Most Profound Lines of the Movie?
On receiving the Annie Jump Cannon award in 1943:
“Well, it is, of course, a great honor, although, it being now 1943, 45 years is quite the length of time between discovery and recognition, don’t you agree?”
“Thank god I have lived into my dotage, so that I might enjoy the honor while still of this world.”
“The irony has not been lost on me. It was Annie, after all, who revised a stellar classification system that was officially adopted in lieu of my own. It was she who received the accolades while all I received was decades long obscurity.”
“I came by my interests in science both naturally and by blood.”
“Maria Mitchell has proven: Why shouldn’t a woman discover a comet. And have it named after her? Are we any less capable? Any less intelligent? Any less diligent?”
In her speech on receiving the award: “The universe is unfathomably vast, but the human brain is greater yet, because it can comprehend it all.”
On Discovery of the second binary star, Beta Aurigae:
“Williamina, come quick! Look! Do you not see what I see? A doubling of the K lines – I believe it is another binary!”
“These twin stars are racing around each other at… oh my!… more than a 100 miles a second!”
“My dear Aunt Ann, everything is appearing in twos in my life these days: single and double tulips at the Boston Garden, my dual Vassar Alumnae memberships, and my lovely twin orbiting stars!”
“But of course, shh! Nothing must be said about these lovely binaries until all the calculations have been finished.”
“Please forgive, my dear Carlota, my need to boast, but eminent astronomer John Herschel wrote to Pickering, asking him to convey to me: his congratulations on having connected my name with ‘one of the most notable advances in physical astronomy ever made.’” Why cannot Prof. Pickering give me similar acknowledgement?
On not being able to strictly follow Pickering’s admonitions:
“My compulsive curiosity and my hunger to understand the meanings beneath the data overwhelmed any portion of the compliant within me.”
“He was the sun around which our planets (tightly) orbited. God forbid one of us escape that orbit; one of us dare create a gravitational pull (force) of our own!”
Anna Draper comments to Pickering: “The girl is stubborn, and far too independent-minded. Although she is my niece, I support you in any decision you make about her.”
Antonia – to her aunt regarding a woman not getting full credit: “Is that fair, aunt? Is that fair to us women; is that fair to science?”
On leaving HCO due to discouragement:
“I have been struggling against a great weight of discouragement from the start.”
“Your criticisms had from the beginning shaken my faith in my own ability to work with accuracy”
Antonia’s father: “My daughter is a lady and the feelings and rights of one.”
“Why did I have to obsessively pursue such a painstaking endeavor when a much simpler system already existed to which I could simply comply? Perhaps my obdurate personality will be my downfall.”
On a demand that she get due recognition for her work:
“I am most reluctant to cede my projects to anyone. I have in mind the completion of my work myself.”
“I do not think it is fair that I should pass the work into other hands until it can stand as work done by me”
“I think I should have full credit for my theory of the relations of star spectra and also for my theories in regard to Beta Lyrae.”
“At last! My ‘Spectra of Bright Stars’ is to be published, with my name in the title!”
HOW DO YOU LEAVE US WITH A PROFOUND ENDING?
A. Deliver The Profound Truth Profoundly
The Truth Will Out. Stick to your Guns and It Will Pay Off. Important Discoveries Will Find Recognition. Trusting and believing in yourself can lead to great discoveries.
B. Lead Characters Ending Represents The Change
In Pickering’s Harem, the transformable character, Antonia, represents the change by learning to trust in her instincts and persist against odds to construct her classification system and show the value and independent thinking of women in science.
C. Payoff Key Setups
In Pickering’s Harem, there are setups in the beginning where the classmates tell Antonia how hard it will be out there (and it is.) There are the setups of various observations she makes that lead to distinct discoveries. There is the setup of her aunt telling her she must still “act like a lady” and her assertion in the end that a lady acts in many different ways. There are the setup situations with Pickering where she is looking to please him, but in the end realizes she must please herself instead. Questions that get setup and eventually answered are: Will Antonia overcome her insecurities and shyness to stand up to both Pickering and her aunt. Will she trust enough in her scientific instincts to know that her discoveries are valuable even if not immediately recognized
D. Surprising, But Inevitable
What is the ending that seems like it will never happen in Pickering’s Harem? When she returns to HCO under the leadership of Shapley and throws herself into studying binary stars (in 1918), it seems her classification system will never get the due it deserves. But in 1922, it does and she is vindicated. And in 1943, she is even awarded.
E. Leave Us with a Profound Parting Image/Line
After Antonia says the line to the journalist about creating her own gravitational pull, we return to the receiving of the Annie Jump Cannon award and to the end of Antonia’s speech. She might say something like: “I speak to all you young astronomers out there, and particularly to the women. Do not let anyone divert you from making a discovery that you were uniquely born to do. Always stay true to the scientist within.”
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Dale’s Profound Ending
What I learned from this assignment is to look at my structure in terms of how it dramatically and stepwise leads to a profound ending. Not sure I’ve found that structure yet, but this is making me ask good questions.
1. What is your Profound Truth and how will it be delivered powerfully in your ending?
Looking again at the Profound Truth of Pickering’s Harem, I feel I’m still exploring possibilities. Here are some: The Truth Will Out. Stick to your Guns and It Will Pay Off. Important Discoveries Will Find Recognition. Trusting and believing in yourself can lead to great discoveries.
Possible endings:
• With 77 year old Antonia finishing up her acceptance speech, and in the audience we see about ¼ of the attendees are women.
• With the information on cards of the ways that Antonia contributed after the events of this story.
• Question: Is the return to 1943 more like an epilogue than and ending, and as such the ending should take place at the end of the main storyline?? In which case, what is my climax (will it change from what I’ve already listed) and how will Antonia emerge triumphant even if her system has not yet been adopted. Will she be triumphant because the New Ways are now reigning supreme? And how to show that in the ending??
• Might she say to the journalist at the end, the following: “We were called ‘Pickering’s Harem’ and of course, we weren’t, but in some ways were were. “He was the sun around which our planets tightly orbited. God forbid one of us escaping that orbit. One of us daring to create a gravitational pull of our own!” When he asks her if she is glad she persisted, she answers: ““Oh, absolutely. It may have taken over two decades – but my discoveries have proven invaluable to astronomy. I have, in the end, been vindicated. And allow a “mere” woman to say, that indeed it makes me glad!”
2. How do your lead characters (Change Agent and Transformable Characters) come to an end in a way that represents the completed change?
In Pickering’s Harem, the transformable character, Antonia, represents the change by learning to trust in her instincts and persist against odds to construct her classification system
3. What are the setup/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie, giving it deep meaning?
In Pickering’s Harem, there are setups in the beginning where the classmates tell Antonia how hard it will be out there (and it is.) There are the setups of various observations she makes that lead to distinct discoveries. There is the setup of her aunt telling her she must still “act like a lady” and her assertion in the end that a lady acts in many different ways. There are the setup situations with Pickering where she is looking to please him, but in the end realizes she must please herself instead. Questions that get setup and eventually answered are: Will Antonia overcome her insecurities and shyness to stand up to both Pickering and her aunt. Will she trust enough in her scientific instincts to know that her discoveries are valuable even if not immediately recognized
4. How are you designing it to have us see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it happens?
What is the ending that seems like it will never happen in Pickering’s Harem? When she returns to HCO under the leadership of Shapley and throws herself into studying binary stars (in 1918), it seems her classification system will never get the due it deserves. But in 1922, it does and she is vindicated.
5. What is the Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds?
After Antonia says the line to the journalist about creating her own gravitational pull, we return to the receiving of the Annie Jump Cannon award and to the end of Antonia’s speech. She might say something like: “I speak to all you young astronomers out there, and particularly to the women. Do not let anyone divert you from making a discovery that you were uniquely born to do. Always stay true to the scientist within.”
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Dale’s Height of Emotions
What I learned from this assignment: This was quite difficult for me. I don’t think, in the end, I actually did exactly what the assignment requested (the two parts), but it did help me zero in on some key emotional moments and accompanying lines of dialogue.
On receiving the Annie Jump Cannon award in 1943:
“Well, it is, of course, a great honor, although, it being now 1943, 45 years is quite the length of time between discovery and recognition, don’t you agree?”
“Thank god I have lived into my dotage, so that I might enjoy the honor while still of this world.”
“The irony has not been lost on me. It was Annie, after all, who revised a stellar classification system that was officially adopted in lieu of my own. It was she who received the accolades while all I received was decades long obscurity.”
“I came by my interests in science both naturally and by blood.”
“Maria Mitchell has proven: Why shouldn’t a woman discover a comet. And have it named after her? Are we any less capable? Any less intelligent? Any less diligent?”
In her speech on receiving the award: “The universe is unfathomably vast, but the human brain is greater yet, because it can comprehend it all.”
On Discovery of the second binary star, Beta Aurigae:
“Williamina, come quick! Look! Do you not see what I see? A doubling of the K lines – I believe it is another binary!”
“These twin stars are racing around each other at… oh my!… more than a 100 miles a second!”
“My dear Aunt Ann, everything is appearing in twos in my life these days: single and double tulips at the Boston Garden, my dual Vassar Alumnae memberships, and my lovely twin orbiting stars!”
“But of course, shh! Nothing must be said about these lovely binaries until all the calculations have been finished.”
“Please forgive, my dear Carlota, my need to boast, but eminent astronomer John Herschel wrote to Pickering, asking him to convey to me: his congratulations on having connected my name with ‘one of the most notable advances in physical astronomy ever made.’” Why cannot Prof. Pickering give me similar acknowledgement?
On not being able to strictly follow Pickering’s admonitions:
“My compulsive curiosity and my hunger to understand the meanings beneath the data overwhelmed any portion of the compliant within me.”
“He was the sun around which our planets (tightly) orbited. God forbid one of us escape that orbit; one of us dare create a gravitational pull (force) of our own!”
Anna Draper comments to Pickering: “The girl is stubborn, and far too independent-minded. Although she is my piece, I support you in any decision you make about her.”
On leaving HCO due to discouragement:
“I have been struggling against a great weight of discouragement from the start.”
“Your criticisms had from the beginning shaken my faith in my own ability to work with accuracy”
Antonia’s father: “My daughter is a lady and the feelings and rights of one.”
“Why did I have to obsessively pursue such a painstaking endeavor when a much simpler system already existed to which I could simply comply? Perhaps my obdurate personality will be my downfall.”
On a demand that she get due recognition for her work:
“I am most reluctant to cede my projects to anyone. I have in mind the completion of my work myself.”
“I do not think it is fair that I should pass the work into other hands until it can stand as work done by me”
“I think I should have full credit for my theory of the relations of star spectra and also for my theories in regard to Beta Lyrae.”
“At last! My ‘Spectra of Bright Stars’ is to be published, with my name in the title!”
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Dale Delivers Irony!
What I learned doing this assignment is that, although I didn’t think I could find an example of each form of irony, by really thinking it through, I did. Which was cool.
Antonia discovers amazing details in her analysis of the stellar photos that enables her to create a more exact and nuanced classification system, BUT… Her boss, Edward Pickering, does not accept her system, but instead throws his support behind a simpler system created by her colleague, Annie Jump Cannon. (WIN/LOSE)
INSIGHT: Intelligence and capability alone do not always win the day.
Antonia throws herself into her task of calculating binary star orbits and even discovers a new binary on her own, but she only gets minimal credit for the work. (CREDIT)
INSIGHT: Being a woman doing science in the 1800s means you might not always get reconized for your contributions.
Antonia stops the work on her classification system and leaves the observatory. (WRONG THING/RIGHT REASON)
INSIGHT: Sometimes you have to made a radical decision to get people to pay attention to your needs.
It takes years for Antonia to get her long overdue credit – a deep want she has had. But she does rediscover her passion for astronomy by throwing herself into the study of a mysterious binary. (WANT/NEED)
INSIGHT: Let your passion lead you.
Antonia has struggled during her life to get the love and approval of her aunt. In the end she asserts her own identity and pride in who she is, despite the aunt thinking otherwise. (IDENTITY)
INSIGHT: It is more important to please yourself than to please others
Antonia gives up on her classification system ever getting recognized, but 30 years later, not only does it become the adopted system, but she even gets the Annie Jump Cannon award (that being the ultimate irony!) (DEALS)
INSIGHT: In the end, the truth will have its day.
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Dale’s Delivers Insights Through Conflict
What I learned doing this assignment is that although argumentation is generally my “go to” form of conflict that there are other kinds of conflict to explore.
INSIGHT – You must stand up for your own worth and integrity.
Antonia stands up for herself with her aunt in the following ways:
Through action – by wearing her normal clothes to dinner, rather than changing to suit her aunt’s demands.
Through argument – by calling her aunt out on being “old school” – on thinking an intelligent woman must hide it, and stand behind the man, rather than on her own.
Antonia stands up for herself to Pickering in the following ways:
Through argumentation – by arguing for the importance of her classification system
Through action – by leaving HCO, thus leaving Pickering in the lurch.
Through refusal to comply – with Pickering’s demand to hand her work over to another HCO employee
Antonia stands up to the scientific community:
By presenting her system, despite her shyness, to an important scientific gathering
By refusing to give up on making a difference to science, despite setbacks (which she does, not only in her original area, but in others ).
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Dale’s Turns Insights into Action
What I learned doing this assignment is to think about showing an insight via action rather than dialogue
New Ways and Insights I’d like audiences to experience when they watch my movie:
1. Antonia stands up for herself with Pickering
2. Antonia stands up for herself with her aunt
3. Antonia puts forth her classification system for consideration
4. Antonia pours herself into a new passion
5. Antonia receives proper recognition
Ways to turn the New Ways/Insights into Action:
1. Antonia leaves the observatory and takes her data with her – writing him that she has no intention of handing that data to anyone else.
2. Despite her aunt telling her she must appear at dinner in “proper attire,” she comes to dinner wearing her usual drab clothing.
3. Antonia, though nervous, stands up in front of the Solar Union and makes an impassioned plea for her classification system. Only one person stands up and claps, that is Danish astronomer Hertzsprung.
4. Antonia returns to HCO and we see her, analyzing data of the binary star, Beta Lyrae, late into the night.
5. Antonia receives the Annie Jump Cannon award, and walks to the stage amidst enthusiastic applause.
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Dale’s Living Metaphors
What I learned from doing this assignment, is that this is yet another way to look at challenges. Although it was hard for me to come up with live metaphors – I did find that an intriguing exercise and will keep thinking of other possible metaphors.
5 Should Work, but don’t challenges:
1. Antonia has experience working in an observatory. She should be able to ask for and be given the opportunity to work in the Harvard Observatory, but Willamina Fleming lets her know that women are not allowed.
2. At Vassar, Antonia got proper recognition for her work. (She was only competing with fellow women, thus the playing field was level.) At HCO, her first discovery of a second binary (and her work on the first) are not fully recognized by Pickering.
3. At Vassar, Antonia’s meticulous hard work always paid off. She was rewarded with honors in three different areas of study. But at HCO, her meticulous hard work is met with annoyance by Pickering who 1) does not want to even consider a different classification system and 2) Is in a hurry to publish results and Antonia is slowing that process down.
4. Antonia believes that she can get her aunt to like her more by proving her work useful, but instead, her aunt remonstrates her even more.
5. She decides to return to teaching (Old ways in that this is the “safe” choice) but her desire to work in the field of astronomy pulls her back to HCO, where, in fact, she is able to throw herself into work on the binaries.
5 Living Metaphor challenges
1. The “fly swatter” and glass plates she works on are metaphors for the intricate and detailed (and sometimes monotonous) work she has been relegated to. (Working in astronomy doesn’t appear to be as exciting as she had expected.)
2. Her uncles 11-inch telescope is a metaphor representing both old ways and new, in that he was one of the people who make her feel her mind was valuable, and his telescope is now enabling her to see more detail in her work, and thus make novel discoveries.
3. When she overhears the male colleagues refer to the computers as “Pickering’s Harem,” this challenges her old way of thinking she will be treated the same as the men.
4. The article published by Pickering about the binary stars challenges her old ways of expecting equitable credit.
5. Binary stars themselves are a type of metaphor for the “double life” she must learn to live – one in which she is a woman and a scientist.
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Dale’s Counterexamples
What I learned doing this assignment is to look at challenges in this new way.
– 5 Question Challenges to an Old Way.
Antonia’s old way: To believe that her work and her merit should stand on their own, regardless of her sex.
1. Her classmates question her naivete and tell her that she will not be accepted equal to men in the outside world.
2. Mina Fleming tells her that she won’t be able to work in the observatory.
3. Pickering questions her need to work in such detail creating a more refined classification system.
4. Her aunt questions her need for credit for her work.
5. Her father questions her ability to work at HCO when it’s clearly upsetting her and affecting her health.
– 5 Counterexamples to an Old Way.
1. Mina Fleming is a counter example because although she is not happy with the pay she receives, she works within the parameters Pickering has set.
2. Pickering is a counter example when he does not give Antonia full credit for her work on the 1st two binary stars.
3. Annie Jump Cannon proves another counter example when, after reviewing both classification systems, she decides to support and work within the Pickering/Fleming system.
4. Her aunt is a counter example as she represents the imperative to be “feminine” and to be willing to let the man take the bulk of the credit.
5. The Solar Union is a counter example when the majority of them decide to adopt the Pickering/Jump Cannon system rather than her own.5 Question Challenges to an Old Way:
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Dale’s 12 Angry Men Analysis
(Assignment 1)
What I learned doing this assignment is how logical and systematic the challenges to the old ways were, bringing the characters around in stepwise and believable ways.
OLD WAY:
Pretty much all of the jurors except for Juror 8 (Henry Fonda) believe that the defendant is guilty.
CHALLENGE:
They all raise their hand when asked who believes in a guilty verdict, expect Juror 8 who says Not Guilty. This is the first challenge.
OLD WAY:
Juror 10 is prejudiced against the group (Latino?) that the defendant belongs to.
CHALLENGE:
He is challenged by Juror 5 who says he was brought up in the “slums” himself.
OLD WAY:
Juror 11 says just because he voted quickly doesn’t mean he’s not certain of his verdict.
CHALLENGE:
Juror 8 says that supposing he’s wrong? Shouldn’t they at least give it an hour of discussion?
OLD WAY:
Juror 10 claims he got a fair trial (assumption). Then he shows his prejudice: “I’ve lived among them all my life, you can’t believe a word they say.”
CHALLENGE:
Juror 9 challenges him with: “Only an ignorant man can believe that.”
Later Juror 8 asks why he doesn’t believe the boy, but does believe the woman who is also “one of them.”
OLD WAY:
Juror 3 lays out the “facts” of the trial. Juror 4 and 10 add more “facts” – ex. Testimonies of old man downstairs and woman across the street. And no one saw him go to movie theater. Juror 6 says the motive was the fight.
CHALLENGE:
These will eventually be debunked one by one by juror 8. 1) the knife is not so unique 2) the noise of the train would have make it impossible for the old man to actually hear what the voices said. 3) A fight was not enough of a motive since the boy was used to being struck by his father.
OLD WAY:
Jurors start to talk about “kids these days” – the whole father needing to “make a man out of you” ethos. Juror 4 says slums are “breeding grounds” for criminals
CHALLENGE:
Juror 5 says he’s lived in a slum all his life (implying he turned out okay).
OLD WAYS:
Juror 3 (Lee J Cobb) says there’s no reason for the old man to lie.
CHALLENGE:
Juror 9 noticed the old man looked ragged, and walked slowly, dragging his left leg. He’s never had recognition. He wants to be listened to, quoted.
Another challenge, this by Juror 7 – Did the old man say he “ran” to the door? He had a stroke, how fast could he move? Fonda now marks out how many steps and times it. The 15 seconds the old man said couldn’t have been. It took Fonda 41 seconds. He says the old man heard the argument, heard someone running down the stairs and assumed it was the boy.
OLD WAY:
A juror says that the boy yelled “I’m going to kill you!” And Juror 3 insists all this nick picking is useless.
CHALLENGE:
Juror 8 points out that people say that, but don’t mean it. And then he confronts Juror 3 by saying he wants to see the defendant die “…not because of the facts. You’re a sadist.”
Juror 11 talks about democracy and the ideal of a jury (in other words, this is a noble job.)
OLD WAY:
Juror 4 insists that the boy should remember the name of the movies he saw and their stars.
CHALLENGE:
Juror 8 challenges him by asking him to remember details about a movie he saw several days ago.
OLD WAY:
Juror 2 questions re the knife and the angle used. Juror 3 “tests” the difference in height. It still seems to make sense.
CHALLENGE:
Until Juror 5 challenges him with his knowledge of living in slums and the use of switchblades in an underhanded not overhanded way.
OLD WAY:
Juror 10’s full prejudice comes out about “those people” as violent, drunk, etc.
CHALLENGE:
There is a physical challenge in that one by one many of the men get up and turn their backs on him. And Juror 8 talks about how personal prejudice obscures the truth.
OLD WAY:
Then Juror 4 talks about the eye witness to the murder, the woman across the street
CHALLENGE:
But one of the jurors brings up the fact that she had marks on either side of her nose that indicated she wore glasses and she was more than likely not wearing those glasses in bed, when she looked through the window.
OLD WAY:
Juror 3 is the last holdout. Why? He says it’s clear the boy is guilty.
CHALLENGE:
When he realizes, tearing up the picture of his estranged son, that it is his own anger at his son that is motivating him, he finally relents and says, “Not guilty.”
Dale’s Old Ways Challenge Chart
(Assignment 2)
What I learned doing this assignment was, although difficult, it took me in some new interesting directions.
Old Ways and Challenges:
Old Ways: Antonia’s old ways include: 1)Belief that she will have equal opportunities in the world – in other words – naïve to the ways of the world for women 2) Pride in her intelligence and honors in three areas of study 2) Reserved and shy 3)Intimidated by Pickering 4) Intimidated by her aunt 5) Despite her initial confidence in her skills, one working under Pickering, she grows unsure of herself and even depressed. 6) Has no confidence when it comes to her looks and style (this is continually re-enforced by her aunt) 7) Belief that her work will stand on its own.
OLD WAY: Antonia believes that her education will provide her equal opportunities in the world of science. (OW: Naivete)
CHALLENGE: Her classmates at Vassar try to disabuse her of this belief – emphasizing that it is no where near out there in the “real world.”
OLD WAY: When she arrives at HCO, she believes she will have the opportunity to work in the observatory – as she has observatory experience. (Again: OW: Naivete)
CHALLENGE: But either Pickering or Mina Fleming let her know that women are not allowed in the observatory for two reasons: It is night and therefore more “dangerous for the ladies” and the equipment tends to be heavy to manipulate. Of course, Antonia finds both these reasons ridiculous.
OLD WAY: Working with her uncle’s 11-inch telescope, Antonia believes that she should be using her initiative to note the special elements that can only be seen with these more close up views. She expresses her excitement at this. (OW: Faith her abilities will get rewarded)
CHALLENGE: Pickering lets her know that they are already working with the simpler-to-use Pickering / Fleming system and seems somewhat annoyed that she wants to go outside the bounds of that. He is on a deadline, and that kind of meticulous detail will slow them down.
OLD WAY: Pickering assigns her the task of calculating the orbit on a binary star, Mizar, he has discovered – which she does. She then discovers and calculates the orbit of a second binary star., Beta Aurigae. She is proud of this!
CHALLENGE: When Pickering publishes results in the American Journal of Science in 1890, the only mention he makes of Antonia is: “…a careful study of the results has been made by Miss A.C. Maury, a niece of Dr. Draper.” This is not the full credit Antonia expected. (He also announced the achievement at a meeting of the American Journal of Science in 1890 – probably with no or little mention of Maury.)
OLD WAY: Working with Pickering and his complaints about her work bring up her insecurities and vulnerabilities. (She had missed the agreed upon Dec. 1, 1893 deadline to hand in her work.) As she says in a letter to him: “I have often said that your criticisms had from the beginning so shaken my faith in my own ability to work with accuracy that I have been struggling with a great weight of discouragement from the start.”
CHALLENGE: And yet, she is not willing to give her up her data on the Northern Bright Stars or new work on the new binary, Beta Lyrae, and she expresses this to Pickering.
OLD WAY: Feels, as she always has, intimidated by her aunt, Mary Anna Draper. This doesn’t help when her aunt sides with Pickering, and may remonstrate Antonia about not being a good team player. Why does she need credit – she was perfectly willing to let her husband get all the credit though they both worked together. (OW: Insecure, dominated.)
CHALLENGE: She questions her aunt and says to her: “And is that fair, aunt? Is that fair to us women, is that fair to science?” (Stands up to her aunt.)
OLD WAY: She has a hard time combatting the sense of insecurity around Pickering and his demands for the work.
CHALLENGE: But she rises to the occasion and completes the work in 1895.: She is given proper credit for it in 1897 in the publication: Spectra of Bright Stars Photographed with the 11-inch Draper Telescope.”
OLD WAY: She continues to think that her discoveries and mapping out of a new classification system will have its day. (OW: Believing a discovery stands on its own with no mitigating circumstances.)
CHALLENGE: Nonetheless, The Revised Harvard Photometry was published in 1908 with The Pickering / Fleming
OLD WAY: At the Solar Union’s Pasadena meeting in 1910, where Pickering wanted astronomers everywhere to respect this compendium as the standard reference authority, she would have retreated from a fight but…
CHALLENGE: She defends her system at the meeting, saying the “c-characteristic… represented a fundamental property of the stars.” Danish astronomer Ejnar Hertzsprung also comes to her defense and in 1905 distinguishes two types of red stars, dwarfs and giants, and argues his red giants were the stars Maury had categorized with c-characteristics.
OLD WAY: Expects recognition.
CHALLENGE: Finds a way to move on by throwing herself into another astronomical passion that of binary stars – in particular the mysterious Beta Lyrae. She ends up publishing a lot about her research.
OLD WAY: The expectation that she would get equal recognition as a woman in science.
CHALLENGE: It was more of a struggle and took much longer than she expected, but she is finally vindicated by the the International Astronomical Union (IAU) modifying its classification system based on the work done by Maury and Hertzsprung, a formulation known as the Hertzsprung–Russell diagram. (Russell and Hertzsprung began work on this in 1913, relying on some of Maury’s system. And then, of course, her Annie Jump Cannon Award in 1943.
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Dale’s Profound Ending
What I learned from this assignment is to look at my structure in terms of how it dramatically and stepwise leads to a profound ending. Not sure I’ve found that structure yet, but this is making me ask good questions.
1. What is your Profound Truth and how will it be delivered powerfully in your ending?
Looking again at the Profound Truth of Pickering’s Harem, I feel I’m still exploring possibilities. Here are some: The Truth Will Out. Stick to your Guns and It Will Pay Off. Important Discoveries Will Find Recognition. Trusting and believing in yourself can lead to great discoveries.
Possible endings:
• With 77 year old Antonia finishing up her acceptance speech, and in the audience we see about ¼ of the attendees are women.
• With the information on cards of the ways that Antonia contributed after the events of this story.
• Question: Is the return to 1943 more like an epilogue than and ending, and as such the ending should take place at the end of the main storyline?? In which case, what is my climax (will it change from what I’ve already listed) and how will Antonia emerge triumphant even if her system has not yet been adopted. Will she be triumphant because the New Ways are now reigning supreme? And how to show that in the ending??
• Might she say to the journalist at the end, the following: “We were called ‘Pickering’s Harem’ and of course, we weren’t, but in some ways were were. “He was the sun around which our planets tightly orbited. God forbid one of us escaping that orbit. One of us daring to create a gravitational pull of our own!” When he asks her if she is glad she persisted, she answers: ““Oh, absolutely. It may have taken over two decades – but my discoveries have proven invaluable to astronomy. I have, in the end, been vindicated. And allow a “mere” woman to say, that indeed it makes me glad!”
2. How do your lead characters (Change Agent and Transformable Characters) come to an end in a way that represents the completed change?
In Pickering’s Harem, the transformable character, Antonia, represents the change by learning to trust in her instincts and persist against odds to construct her classification system
3. What are the setup/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie, giving it deep meaning?
In Pickering’s Harem, there are setups in the beginning where the classmates tell Antonia how hard it will be out there (and it is.) There are the setups of various observations she makes that lead to distinct discoveries. There is the setup of her aunt telling her she must still “act like a lady” and her assertion in the end that a lady acts in many different ways. There are the setup situations with Pickering where she is looking to please him, but in the end realizes she must please herself instead. Questions that get setup and eventually answered are: Will Antonia overcome her insecurities and shyness to stand up to both Pickering and her aunt. Will she trust enough in her scientific instincts to know that her discoveries are valuable even if not immediately recognized
4. How are you designing it to have us see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it happens?
What is the ending that seems like it will never happen in Pickering’s Harem? When she returns to HCO under the leadership of Shapley and throws herself into studying binary stars (in 1918), it seems her classification system will never get the due it deserves. But in 1922, it does and she is vindicated.
5. What is the Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds?
After Antonia says the line to the journalist about creating her own gravitational pull, we return to the receiving of the Annie Jump Cannon award and to the end of Antonia’s speech. She might say something like: “I speak to all you young astronomers out there, and particularly to the women. Do not let anyone divert you from making a discovery that you were uniquely born to do. Always stay true to the scientist within.”
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Dale’s Transformational Structure (Lesson 6)
Dale’s Connection with Audience (Lesson 7)
I’m first posting the Mini Movie structure assignment here, as I cannot find the Lesson 6 forum, then I will post for lesson 7.
Transformational Structure:
What I learned doing this assignment was how challenging it is to line up historical events with transformational events. This assignment pushed me back to the research to try to best do that.
Mini movie structure for Pickering’s Harem:
MM#1 pgs 1-15 Status Quo and Call to Adventure
Antonia’s normal world is one in which she is a Vassar student gaining honors in three areas, physics, philosophy and astronomy, attending a class taught by Maria Mitchell, who discovered a comet. She has received a home education from her father, equal to that of her brother (and her other sister – who also becomes a scientist.) She has been encouraged by her uncle in her interests in science, and even, from an early age, is invited into his lab to be his “assistant.” Not only does her father, a minister and an amateur naturalist, treat her equally.
The Call to Adventure/ Inciting Incident: When she goes to work for Pickering at HCO
Change Agent: Pickering
Transformational Character: Antonia
Old Ways: Entitled, naïve
The Vision: Make a contribution to science
Challenge: The work environment she enters only partially allows women to do science
Weakness: Shy, unassuming
MM#2 Locked into Conflict
Even though Antonia is disappointed to learn that she will not be able to make direct observations in the observatory (she might complain to her sister or her father about this?) and will only be a “computer” at less than ½ the pay, she soon realizes that her only other choice is teaching, and at least here, she is working in the scientific realm. So she begrudgingly accepts these conditions, albeit not ideal.
Old Ways: Some anger and resentment at this compromise
Challenge: How to still try and make a valuable contribution
Weaknesses: Doesn’t feel like she needs to follow authority (this may also be a strength)
MM#3 Hero tries to solve problem but fails.
When she works, under Pickering’s guidance, on the discovery and analysis of the binary star Beta Lyrae 1889, she is very excited by the discovery of double K lines. She feels like she’s making a real contribution. However, she barely gets any credit for it, which angers her.
Change Agent: Pickering, through his not according her proper credit, forces her to stand up for herself more.
Old Ways: Assuming she doesn’t have to fight for herself, but it will be given her naturally
New Ways: Realizing she is going to have to fight
Weaknesses: Is still shy and emotionally fragile and so this is difficult for her.
MM#4 Hero forms a new plan
Fighting to express her own independent discoveries, Antonia realizes that the photos shot with the 11 inch Draper (her uncle’s!) telescope is enabling to see things the other computers haven’t. She forms her own insights and in turn a more sophisticated classification system than the “accepted” Fleming/Pickering one. Annie Jump Cannon, meanwhile, works on simply refining that accepted system.
Vision: To make a true contribution to astronomy
Old Ways: Still believes her discovery will stand on its own
New Ways: Begins to believe she can make independent discoveries without Pickering or Fleming’s guidance
Turning Point / Midpoint: Pickering pressures her to finish her work, she leaves in frustration and exhaustion.
MM#5 Hero retreats and the Antagonism Prevails
Frustrated, Antonia goes home to live with her father – who complains to Pickering on behalf of his daughter (which she doesn’t want him to do.) She works at the Gilman School. She has taken her data with her because past experience has made her wonder if Pickering will give her credit for her discoveries. He asks her to come back, or at least let someone else continue with her data. “I do not think it is fair that I should pass the work into other hands until it can stand as work done by me,” she writes Pickering. Enter the antagonist, Anna Draper, who, though she is Antonia’s niece, represents the “old ways” in terms of women being contributors but being happy to be in the background, as she was for her husband. She tells Antonia she has still made plenty of contributions to science with the egotistical need to get personal credit for it. (Although, interestingly, she once harbored the dream of continuing her husband’s research herself. She ended up deciding to let Pickering, with his greater resources and equipment, take on the task.)
Vision: To get appropriate credit for her work.
Old Ways: Retreating, at first.
New Ways: Stands up to Pickering with her letter to him.
Betraying Character: She discovers that her aunt is encouraging Pickering to sever his relationship with her niece.
Challenge: How to continue her work under these conditions.
MM#6 – Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan
Antonia agrees to return when it appears that Pickering will, in fact, give her proper credit for her discoveries in terms of spectral lines. It was published in 1897 as “Spectra of Bright Stars Photographed with the 11-inch Draper Telescope as Part of the Henry Draper Memorial and Discussed by Antonia C. Maury under the direction of Edward Charles Pickering.” It was the first time, in fact, that a woman is given this sort of credit. But it is only a partial victory.
Despite two other astronomers praising the important subtleties of her classification system, Pickering uses the Annie Jump Cannon system, adapted from the Pickering/Fleming system, as the official spectral analysis system for the The Revised Harvard Photometry, published in 1908. Danish astronomer, Ejnar Hertzsprung of Copenhagen, an astronomer who had discovered Antonia’s system and used it distinguish red dwarf stars from giants, wrote the following to Professor Pickering: “To neglect the c-properties in classifying stellar spectra, I think, is nearly the same thing as if the zoologist, who has detected the deciding differences between a whale and a fish, would continue classifying them together.”
Old Ways: Passively accept what is happening
New Ways: Create a new path for herself, one she can live with
MM#7: Crisis and Climax
Antonia must decide whether to continue work at the observatory or to leave it, because of the lack of recognition for how much more significant her classification system is than the one that is adopted. There will be a scene between her and Pickering where she challenges him on using Annie’s system and not her own. His answers do not satisfy her, and, at this important crossroads, she chooses to leave and returns to teaching.
Old Ways: Try to get along.
New Ways: Give up on adapting to a system that doesn’t full recognize her contributions and strike out on her own to form a new path.
MM#8:
She returns in 1918 to the Harvard Observatory as an adjunct professor and researcher, under the leadership of Professor Harlow Shapley, who is much better about giving her full credit for her work. She throws herself into her passion for binary systems, her favorite being Beta Lyrae which still has mysterious aspects to it. Her work summarizing many years of research on the spectroscopic analysis of this star gets published in 1933.
NOTE: *Not until 1922 did the International Astronomical Union (IAU) modify its classification system based on the work done by Maury and Hertzsprung, a formulation known as the Hertzsprung–Russell diagram.[12][16] Astronomer Dorrit Hoffleit has presented scientific evidence to support the view that stellar morphology was held back by 30 years as a result of the failure to adopt Antonia Maury’s stellar classification theory sooner
And of course, in 1943, she gets properly recognized with the Annie Jump Cannon award. The film returns to this moment, and to her finishing her speech, as the audience heartily applauds.
CONNECTING WITH THE TRANSFORMATIONAL CHARACTER (Lesson 7)
What I learned from this assignment is to take things I knew about the character and show how they create audience connection in the four ways.
RELATABILITY — THEY ARE US
We relate to Antonia’s naivete of how things really are in the world of science for women. We relate to her intelligence and desire to make a mark in the world.
INTRIGUE
For Antonia, the intrigue is how will she, as a highly intelligent and well educated woman in the sciences deal with a rather tedious and repetitive job that doesn’t pay women well?
EMPATHY
We are at first excited for Antonia as she graduates and embarks on a career in astronomy, and then, like her, disappointed by how limited the work is (for example, she can’t be in the observatory looking at the night sky which she was so looking forward to.). We also feel for her shyness and reserved nature. She is awkward and stumbles over her worlds – she is certainly not charming and beautiful like her aunt. (Perhaps Pickering praises her aunt to her, and she clearly doesn’t have these same traits.)
LIKABILITY
We see Antonia’s likeability in that, after her mother’s death, she delayed in responding to Pickering’s letter because she was taking over the household and arranging for her sibling’s education. We see she is caring and family oriented.
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Dale’s Three Gradients
What I learned from this assignment is how to look at the relationship between the emotional gradient and the action gradient.
DESIRED CHANGE GRADIENT:
A. Emotion: Excitement
B. Action: Antonia gets a job at the Harvard Observatory as a “computer”
C. Challenge: Taking on her first science job after college / Weakness: Hubris
A. Emotion: Doubt
B. Action: Is disappointed to learn she cannot work in the observatory, wonders if her skills can properly be used as simply a “computer”
C. Challenge: To make use of her current position / Weakness: Resistance to the tedium of the job.
A. Emotion: Hope
B. Action: She begins to find interesting things in the work she’s doing – in particular levels of a classification system that have heretofore not been discovered.
C. Challenge: To convince her boss, Pickering, of the value of her discovery / Weakness: Caught between wanting to please/placate him and wanting recognition
A. Emotion: Discouragement
B. Action: Leaves the Observatory, taking her data with her – not sure she will get the credit she deserves
C. Challenge How to continue her important work on her own or whether to abandon / Weakness: Pride
A. Emotion: Courage
B. Action: She returns to the Observatory, insists and get the credit she is due for an article that features her research. However, her classification plan is not adopted.
C. Challenge How to complete her work, while not getting recognition for the true value of that work. Pouring herself into other work with the new director. / Weakness: Resentment
A. Emotion: Triumph (and some loss)
B. Action: First she gets praise and recognition from other scientists, but her system is still not officially adopted. But then, many years later, it is. And it is touted at something that would have advanced astronomy by decades if it had been adopted. A triumph then in receiving the Annie Jump Cannon Award for Astronomy.
C. Challenge: To accept that the recognition is better late than never / Weakness: Some residual resentment over the fact that she’d been right all along.
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Dale’s Lead Characters
What I learned doing this assignment. I learned that a change agent can also be an antagonist. I learned about betraying characters – something I’d never heard of before. It really made me think.
The Assignment:
1. Tell us your transformational journey logline.
Antonia Maury, one of Edward Pickering’s “computers” who believes she can add to science, but doesn’t realize she must fight for it, must navigate the biased world of late 19th century America, to learn to stand up for her worth and accomplishments.
2. Tell us who you think might be your Change Agent and give a few sentences about how that character fits the role. Also, include: – Their vision: – Their past experience that fits that vision:
The change agent seems to me to be Edward Pickering. He is also, in many ways, an antagonist. He is an established astronomer, something Antonia longs to be, he is the one who hires her, albeit to only do “computing” work and less than half the pay the male employees get. He is the one who takes credit for one of her discoveries which spurs her, out of pride, to resent this and to seek proper credit for the thing she discovered next. He is the one who eventually gives her credit (a first for a woman in science.). However, he continues to reject her more sophisticated classification system, for a number of stated reasons, but more likely because Annie Jump Cannon got with the program he established, whereas Antonia went her own way. He has discouraged independent discoveries. He also ignore correspondence from other scientists who laud Antonia and her classification system. (Is it his hubris and pride that cause him to do this?)
3. Tell us who you think might be your Transformable Character(s) and give a few sentences about how that character or characters fit the role.
The Transformable Character is Antonia. But I do also see the other key women having their own growth and potential (albeit) smaller transformative moments. For example, Williamina standing up to Pickering re her salary, etc.
4. Tell us who or what you think might be The Oppression and give a few sentences about how The Oppression works in your story.
The Oppression is mainly the late 19th century world Antonia lives in. One in which women are underpaid and not thought capable of independent discovery. Pickering in his own way, is quite progressive when it comes to supporting women in the sciences. But he’s not progressive enough for Antonia’s needs.
5. Tell us who you think might be your Betraying Character and give a few sentences about how that character fits the role.
Antonia’s aunt, Anna Palmer Draper is, I believe, the Betraying Character, as she seems to represent women in science in that she was a partner in many ways, to her husband in his scientific endeavors. But, she also represents the “old ways” in terms of women and their “proper” behavior, which she does not think Antonia as following. As such, she will end up not supporting her niece when the chips are down.
Assignment 4B Analyze Dead Poets Society:
1. What is the change this movie is about? What is the Transformational Journey of this movie?
The change is from boys following the structured and conformist strictures of their school and their parents to find their own ways, opinions and true selves.
2. Lead characters:
– Who is the Change Agent (the one causing the change) and what makes this the right character to cause the change?
Keating is the Change Agent. His class from the get go is completely different from the other classes.
– Who is the Transformable Character (the one who makes the change) and what makes them the right character to deliver this profound journey?
There are four boys that are most focused on: Neil, Charlie, Todd, and Knox. With Meeks, Cameron and Pitts being more secondary characters. The first four clearly go through transformations.
– What is the Oppression?
The school and its system of tradition and conformity, which, more often than not, is supported strongly (and sometimes oppressively) by the parents.
3. How are we lured into the profound journey? What causes us to connect with this story?
One way is through the character of Neil who is bullied by his father to drop something that he cares about. (He is so different around his father than with the other students. His voice cracks, for example.) And he tells the other students, when they criticize him for caving, that they would do the same thing with their parents. We also feel for Todd, who is new, shy, and feels like an outsider. He also must live up to his brother who had done well at the school (Valedictorian).
4. Looking at the character(s) who are changed the most, what is the profound journey? From “old ways” to “new way of being.”
Identify their old way: We see only a little rebellion, when they have their own “four pillars,” but otherwise they conform to their parents’ and Welton’s expectations.
Identify their new way at the conclusion: Looking at the four main characters: Todd has gained confidence, Neil has sadly not been able to stand up to his bully father, Charlie has become a rebel, and Knox has followed his heart even though it was risky.
5. What is the gradient of the change? What steps did the Transformational Character go through as they were changing?
Keating first has them look at pics of students from history – reminds them that these boys are “now fertilizing daffodils.” He urges them to “Carpe Diem.” “Make your lives extraordinary.” Reactions of students – Todd seems to like what Keating did (“But different”), Cameron wants to know if they’ll get “tested” on any of it. Todd is the first one who truly responds to Keating’s admonition. He writes: “Seize the Day.” In his notebook (but then he tears it up.) Cameron says: “We shouldn’t be doing this.”
Keating demonstrates a direct comparison between the old and new ways by, in his first class, having the students read and graph the “poetry lesson” and then having them tear the intro out of their books. (Charlie Dalton is the first to do so.)
The boys find an old annual, and Neil asks what the Dead Poet’s Society is. Once Keating explains, Neil gets intrigued with the idea and suggests they all start one of their own, despite “demerits” they would get. Charlie, Cameron, Meeks, Pitts (reluctantly), Knox (cause he wants to make “women swoon.”)
They have their first night of the DPS. At first not taking it that seriously, but then moving into real poetry.
In class, Keating stands on his desk and then has the students do the same. The purpose of which is gain a new perspective.
Two of the students create a make shift radio and dance, while we see Todd create the original poem that Keating has assigned. Meanwhile, Neil discovers something he has a passion for – theatre – he wants to play Puck in Midsummers Night Dream. He is willing to defy his father (or at least keep it a secret from him) to do it. This decision is clearly inspired by Keating’s influence, especially as he asks Todd if anything Keating has said has inspired him. Knox takes on Carpe Diem by taking a real risk and calling Chris. Todd, with Neil’s encouragement, throws off the roof the second desk set his parents gave him for his birthday.
6. How is the “old way” challenged? What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change? First Keating encourages them to “Carpe Diem.” Then he challenges their ideas about poetry. Then about perspective (standing on desk). When they walk in unison in the courtyard, Keating is challenging them about conformity. Overall he challenges them to think for themselves.
Charlie decides to challenge the old ways by revealing he is part of the Dead Poet’s Society and that girls should be allowed in the school. All hell breaks loose. If the boys don’t reveal themselves, they could get expelled! Charlie “admits” his guilt, gets called in and paddled! But he does not plan to give them what they want.
Neil challenges the old ways by not only performing academically, as he’s expected to, but by finding something he loves doing, acting.
Knox challenges himself by reading a poem to Chris.
How the boys go after what they want and take risks:
Neil – going after and loving acting
Knox – going after the girl he wants
Charlie – challenging the administration
Todd – learning he has a poet inside him.
Cameron – in the end resists the changes
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7. What are the most profound moments of the movie?
There are many. Here are some: 1) When Todd, with his eyes closed, creates a poem on the spot in the classroom. 2) When the boys, after a joyful soccer game, carry Keating on their shoulders. Charlie, after being paddled saying his name is Rwanda. 3) When Neil relishes in his role as Puck. 4) When Knox holds Chris’s hand When Neil cannot tell his father what is in his heart and subsequently kills himself. 4) When Todd throws up in the snow and sobs out his grief at the loss of his best friend. 5) When, of course, the boys stand on their desks and say to Keating: “Oh Captain, my Captain.”
8. What are the most profound lines of the movie?
Lots of great lines: Keating: “This a battle, a war. And the casualties could be your hearts and souls.” “No matter what anyone tells you, words and ideas can change the world.” “The powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?”
Keating (re DPS): “We didn’t just read poetry, we let it drip from our tongues like honey. Spirits soared, women swooned, and gods were created, gentlemen.”
Neil: “For the first time in my whole life I know what I want to do. For the first time I’m gonna do it whether my father wants me to or not! Carpe diem!” Knox says: “That’s just my problem. I’ve been calm all my life. I’ll do something about that.” Then, to call Chris he says: “Carpe Diem. Even if it kills me.”
Todd: “Oh Captain, my Captain” – when he stands on the desk and many of the other students follow suit.
9. How does the ending payoff the setups of this movie? Despite the stultifying and high pressure unfairness of Mr. Perry and the school, all the key characters, except Cameron, realize that Mr. Keating had given them a great gift that they would value greatly in their lives.
10. What is the Profound Truth of this movie?
That each of us is an individual who has a unique path in life.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by Dale Griffiths Stamos.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by
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Dale’s Transformational Journey
What I learned doing this assignment:
A clearer delineation between the “old ways” and the “new ways” – why my character starts out believing something that seems reasonable to her at the time, and how life disabuses her of this belief and forces her to fight for herself.
LOGLINE: Antonia Maury, one of 19th century astronomer, Edward Pickering’s, “computers” who believes she can add to science, but doesn’t realize she must fight for it, must navigate the biased and sexist world of late 19th century America, to learn to stand up for her worth and accomplishments.
OLD WAYS: She was brought up in a home of equality where both the boy and the two girls were given equal educations. She then went to Vassar where she received three degrees with honors: in physics, astronomy, and philosophy. In these rarified family and educational environments, she is led to believe that she, as a woman, can accomplish as much in the world of science, as a man.
NEW WAYS: Antonia learns, soon enough, that in the world she enters after graduation, the equality she expected is far from easily obtained. Nor is recognition of the unique work that she does. She discovers not only that she must fight for proper recognition, but she must overcome her natural shyness and timidity to stand up for herself and her discoveries.
I would also like to add the “problem state” and “solution state” to this assignment, as follows:
The problem state
-Antonia has been brought up in a privileged household where the girls and the boy were equally education
-Antonia has attended Vassar where she continued to receive a superior education
-All of this makes her naïve to the ways of the world
-She believes she will continued to be treated equally, even though a woman
-She believes that her actions stand by themselves, without her having to convince anyone of their value
-She is shy, reserved, and puts little care into her appearance, and doesn’t think these are disadvantages – she is, after all, first and foremost a scientist, above being female
-She feels intimidated by her astronomer boss, and wants to please him
The solution state
-Antonia has learned to argue for her discoveries
-She has learned that the world does not equally accept women scientists and she must fight for recognition
-She has learned to see both the opportunities Pickering has provided, and the things he has withheld, and must go toe to toe with him
-In the reactions of her aunt, she realizes that issues are “femininity” are still ways in which she will be judged, and must stand up, as well, to her aunt who represents the old ways
-She learns to play the “long game,” exploring areas that she can when other doors are shut to her. Not getting discouraged by the challenges she’s faced
4. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” (place at top of your work).
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This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by Dale Griffiths Stamos.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by
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Dale’s First Three Decisions:
What I learned doing this assignment is the character arc is separate from the audience change, although it is the process the character goes through that helps to create that audience change.
1. What is your profound truth? Sticking to your guns eventually pays off.
2. What is the change your movie will cause with an audience? Women have as much ability to pursue science and make key scientific discoveries as men do.
3. What is your Entertainment Vehicle that you will tell this story through? Embellished true story.
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What I learned from this assignment was how very gradually and minutely Phil learned to change. Making that change very logical and earned.
The questions:
The change is Phil’s Connors change from self-centeredness to kindness and altruism. The change for the audience is looking at where they are self-centered in their own lives and can become better.
2. Lead characters:
o Who is the Change Agent (the one causing the change) and what makes this the right character to cause the change?
The Change Agents is Rita.
o Who is the Transformable Character (the one who makes the change) and what makes them the right character to deliver this profound journey?
The Transformable Character is Phil.
o What is the Oppression?
The Oppressions is the fact he is waking up to the same morning, stuck in time.
3. How are we lured into the profound journey? What causes us to connect with this story?
We are lured in by the fact that we both sympathize with this frustrating situation he’s in, and we begin to see him becoming a better person after exhausting his old ways.
4. Looking at the character(s) who are changed the most, what is the profound journey? From “old ways” to “new way of being.” Identify their old way: Identify their new way at the conclusion:
Phil’s old way is that he cares for only himself. He seeks fame and renown (without really deserving it.) He is a womanizer and doesn’t take anything seriously, least of all the feelings of others. The new ways are learning to care about others, wanting to help and where possible, save them, and appreciating not what Rita can give to him, but what he admires and loves about her, and what he can do for her.
5. What is the gradient the change? What steps did the Transformational Character go through as they were changing?
Phil’s is a very detailed step by step gradient. 1) He resists and tries to fix what’s happening to him 2) Then he revels in the realization he can do anything he wants (and does) 3) When he realizes he really cares about Rita, he tries to learn everything about her, so he can successfully seduce her (which he doesn’t) 4) He goes into despair and tries, in various ways, to kill himself 5) Declares himself a “god” to Rita and they have a good day together and as she sleeps he professes his love for her 6) Starts acting more kindly to Rita and Larry, and to the old man (who despite his efforts, dies anyway), and begins to use his time for learning and gaining mastery in all kinds of things including piano, Italian, medicine, etc. 7) He now turns down time with Rita to help and sometimes even save residents of the community. It is this that finally wins Rita over and 8) He wakes to the next day, Feb. 3, with Rita still by his side.
6. How is the “old way” challenged? What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?
His cynical beliefs that every man is out for himself are challenged, along with his attitudes towards and ways he uses women, for his own pleasure, and certainly not to get to know them as human beings. The way he is forced to shift his perspective is by first using his old ways and realizing how empty they ultimately are, then shifting, but not completely, to new ways that still reflect his egocentrism, and having them fail (particularly in terms of getting Rita to fall in love with him), and starting to care about the people in the town, ultimately even more than his need to gain Rita’s love.
7. What are the most profound moments of the movie?
There are many profound moments. Some are: When he drops into total despair and tries, unsuccessfully, to kill himself; when, no matter his efforts, he cannot save the old man (showing him he’s actually not all powerful), when, while Rita is sleeping, he tells her how deeply he admires who she is and that he loves her and would do everything to deserve her, when he gives the Chekov inspired speech to the camera during the groundhog ceremony, when he carves the exquisite snow sculpture of Rita; and of course, his sheer joy at waking up and finding it is finally Feb. 3, and Rita is lying in bed next to him.
8. What are the most profound lines of the movie?
Here are some of the profound lines: “I think you’re the kindest, sweetest, prettiest, most wonderful girl I ever met in my life.” I know a guy like me could never deserve to have someone like you, but if I did, I swear I would love you for the rest of my life.” “And standing among the people of Punxsutawney — basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn’t imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter.”
9. How does the ending payoff the setups of this movie?
The ending pays off the setups in that he wins the woman of his dreams by finally living up to the man she deserves.
10. What is the Profound Truth of this movie?
That we only deserve love when we give love.
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My name is Dale Griffiths Stamos.
I am both a playwright and screenwriter. In theater I have written four full length plays and 20 odd short plays. Most of the shorts have been produced at various small theaters. Two of the full lengths have been produced in Los Angeles. In film, I have written and produced or coproduced 6 short films, three of which I directed. They have gone to multiple film festivals. I have written three feature-length scripts.
My goal is to learn what makes a screenplay profound, since this is what I seek to do in everything I write.
Something unique? I am fluent in French (used to be a French teacher) and speak Spanish well, and some Italian, even a bit of Greek! (don’t ask.) 🙂
Looking forward to getting to know you all!
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I’m not necessarily looking to receive feedback on my current draft, but just want to acknowledge that this class enabled me to reach a goal – which was to pull together a decent enough draft of my screenplay to deliver to folks I’ll be working with, and to get their comments, and move forward from there.
I don’t know if Dimitri or Hal will be reading this, but the new website had all kinds of glitches. I did email Dimitri a couple of times – but essentially there seemed a disconnect between when the lessons were posted and when we could post on the forum. Sometimes all the lessons were available and sometimes not. Hopefully you’ll be getting those things resolved, as I imagine other writers here experienced these things as frustrating as well.
Other than that, great course!
-Dale Griffiths Stamos
Filmmaker/Playwright/Teacher
http://www.dalegriffithsstamos.com
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Dale’s Chronological Edit
What I learned doing this assignment is basically where the script is at. I.e. where it seems to be working and where it still needs things.
My process was: I went through the entire draft of the screenplay as a printed hard copy, making numerous notes in pencil. Then I incorporated those notes into a new draft of the script. Here is where I made improvements:
1. I improved the overall flow, moving scenes as necessary, and figuring out places where I might need a few additional scenes. I sometimes wrote those, and sometimes put a note with a basic description.
2. I improved the dialogue – mostly by editing it down a bit.
3. I improved the clarity – where there were moments of confusion or something that hadn’t been set up previously.
4. I particularly looked at whether the storyline feels incremental, true to characters and earned.
This is, I would say, a strong third draft of the script, but will need other drafts, for sure, to add the missing scenes and to further refine it. But all in all the class got me through an entire draft and a rewrite of that draft!! Yay!
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Dale’s Solved Scene Problems!
What I learned doing this assignment is it helped me to concentrate on two elements: conflict and how the scene moves the story forward. I’ve tackled about 2/3 of the scenes so far.
The first scene I found with a problem is when Barbara and Elizabeth are at a restaurant and see Philip with a student. I think I need to add more conflict with Barbara in terms of how she views the new university regulations vs how Liz does. This also would move the story forward more. And then I realized I need to make the conflict in a following scene between Elizabeth and Philip, although around the same issue, play differently and push the storyline forward a bit more. Here are those two revised scenes:
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Elizabeth and Barbara are being shown their table at a local restaurant. At another end of the restaurant Elizabeth notices…
PHILIP sitting in a booth with a young woman. They are laughing together, and at one point, she brushes his hair aside, and he takes her hand and kisses it.
Now seated at their table, Elizabeth speaks in a low, voice.
ELIZABETH
I don’t believe it!
BARBARA
What?
ELIZABETH
Don’t look, but over there
Elizabeth glances in that direction, Barbara starts to turn to look.
ELIZABETH
I said don’t look!
BARBARA
What is it?
ELIZABETH
Philip.
BARBARA
Okay… Philip?
ELIZABETH
With a student.
BARBARA
Still, not so strange.
ELIZABETH
Holding her hand.
BARBARA
Oh. Shit.
ELIZABETH
Yeah.
Barbara turns slyly to take a look.
BARBARA
Is that… Cheryl Littleton?
ELIZABETH
Yes. She was a student in Philip’s class on the Idealists.
BARBARA
Was?
ELIZABETH
Yes.
BARBARA
Well, if he’s not teaching her now. I mean, that’s compliant with the old rules.
ELIZABETH
But not with the new ones. And given the current lawsuit against admin for ignoring complaints against Larry Stern…
BARBARA
All because Stern is tenured and a Nobel laureate. Makes me sick. Rumor mill had him behaving badly with his female students for years.
ELIZABETH
Yeah, like with one of my students.
BARBARA
Jesus. Really?
ELIZABETH
Yes, she’s trying to decide whether to testify.
BARBARA
Poor girl. That can’t be easy.
ELIZABETH
No, she’s a wreck.
BARBARA
I feel for her. I remember in my graduate work the number of gropey professors.
ELIZABETH
Yeah, and now something’s finally being done. I think the university is wise, erring on the side of caution.
BARBARA
Maybe. But I worry it could go too far. A student is pissed off about a grade? She could accuse her professor of being a predator.
ELIZABETH
I think it’s far more likely a love affair gone bad would make a student level those kinds of accusations.
BARBARA
Yes, but the new rules are already seeping into our classrooms. I heard one of the film professors was called on the carpet because a student complained of his use of inappropriate language. He was quoting from Five Easy Pieces.
ELIZABETH
Admin couldn’t have taken that seriously.
BARBARA
They didn’t. The student was a bit of a holy roller. But it seems it’s only a skip and jump to complaints taken more seriously. I I mean, what if, as an anthropologist, I can’t talk about the sexual behaviors of certain indigenous societies?
ELIZABETH
I can’t imagine it would go that far.
BARBARA
Well you have more faith in the system than I do.
ELIZABETH
Yes, I trust in them using their reason to evaluate each situation.
BARBARA
News flash! Not everyone is like you.
And she signals to the waiter, that they’re ready to order.
INT. PRIVATE HOME – STUDY – EVENING
Offscreen, we hear the sounds of a party going on in the living room. Someone is playing a piano and there is singing. Elizabeth stands alone in the home office, with a soda in her hand, perusing the titles of books on the shelves. Barbara comes in.
BARBARA
Of course, here you are, I should have known. Now listen. Joe’s indulging his fantasy of being a lounge act again. He could use some backup singers. Help me out, please!
ELIZABETH
You know I’ve never been much one for parties.
BARBARA
Yes, well, you’re a single woman again. Time to take yourself out of mothballs!
ELIZABETH
So I have to start pretending I like this sort of thing?
BARBARA
Better than working night and day.
ELIZABETH
I love my work.
BARBARA
I know you do. But turning into a walking head at forty-two, is that what you really want?
Philip enters. He is somewhat inebriated, a bottle of bourbon and glass in hand.
PHILIP
Is what what she really wants?
BARBARA
To blow this joint, or start a game of limbo?
PHILIP
Oh, limbo, by all means. Anything to liven up this gang. Although your husband is sure giving it a college try. Speaking of, your lack of loyalty to your musicien manqué is, frankly, shocking.
BARBARA
That’s all right, Philip. I can get a personal concert any time I want.
PHILIP
Have a drink, ladies?
BARBARA
Why not.
Philip pours a drink into Barbara’s glass, spilling some of it on the floor.
PHILIP
Ooops. Elizabeth?
ELIZABETH
I don’t think so.
PHILIP
Suit yourself.
Silence. They stand there, awkwardly, looking at each other.
BARBARA
Well, actually, I’d better get back to the party. Give Joe the benefit of my mellifluous vocals.
(to Elizabeth)
You coming?
ELIZABETH
No, I’m good.
Philip pours a drink into Barbara’s glass, spilling some of it on the floor.
PHILIP
Ooops. Elizabeth?
ELIZABETH
I don’t think so.
PHILIP
Suit yourself.
They stand there, awkwardly, looking at each other.
BARBARA
…Well, actually, I’d better get back to the party. Give Joe the benefit of my mellifluous vocals.
(to Elizabeth)
You coming?
ELIZABETH
No, I’m good.
Barbara hesitates. Elizabeth gives her a nod, indicating she’ll be okay. Barbara leaves.
PHILIP
(beat)
So… Let me be the first to congratulate you on your newest article in The Philosophical Review.
ELIZABETH
Thank you.
PHILIP
And with a subject like epiphenomenalism! Brava! Reviving a dead-as-doornail theory like that and making it sound almost plausible!
ELIZABETH
Is that an insult or compliment?
PHILIP
Take it as you will.
A beat.
ELIZABETH
Listen, Philip…
PHILIP
Yes?
ELIZABETH
I… I saw you the other day with your student, Cheryl…
PHILIP
Okay…?
ELIZABETH
Holding hands.
PHILIP
Oh. …Well, first of all – she’s my ex-student.
ELIZABETH
Right. But with the new faculty code…
PHILIP
Revised code. A direct result of rampant paranoia.
ELIZABETH
Maybe, but it now prohibits any faculty – undergrad relationships…
PHILIP
Yeah, but I’m not one of those predator professors who stake out the most vulnerable student each semester…
ELIZABETH
I know that.
PHILIP
I mean, I’m all for disciplining them. They’re the rotten apples who have given the rest of us a bad name.
ELIZABETH
I think it’s more complicated than that. I think–
PHILIP
And now, with Me-Too, the chickens have come home to roost. Or more precisely, women are suing universities right and left for turning a blind eye.
ELIZABETH
As those women should!
PHILIP
But is that a reason to go all Draconian on us? Just to protect their ass?
ELIZABETH
Actually, I think the new code makes sense.
PHILIP
Really?
ELIZABETH
Just because a student isn’t in your class now, doesn’t mean she won’t be.
PHILIP
You don’t think it goes too far? I mean, look at all the marriages in the past which came out of faculty-student romances.
ELIZABETH
That doesn’t make it right.
PHILIP
Oh come on! This sort of thing has been going on since Socrates dallied with his first young man. I’m not advocating all out licentiousness, for Christ’s sake. I’m just saying I don’t think it’s something you can regulate. You bring minds together, sometimes bodies follow.
ELIZABETH
That’s right, weak bodies.
(Philip groans)
It’s what I think! What you’re talking about is a direct violation of a student’s rights, consenting, or not. There is an unequal power structure here, Philip, we have control over these kids’ futures! So, I’m sorry. In my estimation, it’s wrong, professionally and morally.
PHILIP
Well, gee, Elizabeth. Don’t mince words on my account.
(beat)
So what are you saying?
ELIZABETH
I’m saying, Stop this relationship now, before you risk your job.
PHILIP
Or what, you’ll turn me in?
ELIZABETH
No, of course not. But if admin ends up asking me, well… I would have to tell the truth.
PHILIP
Of course you would.
ELIZABETH
Philip.
PHILIP
No, no, I get it. It’s a different world now. That moral compass needle has been set just this side of impossible. Perfect for paragons like yourself.
ELIZABETH
I’m not a paragon.
PHILIP
You could have fooled me.
I also realized I need a couple of missing scenes, as follows:
A SCENE where Elizabeth takes her student, Amanda, to the courthouse to testify against the professor. Amanda’s visceral reaction upon seeing him go up the courthouse steps with his lawyer in tow.
A SCENE where Elizabeth (before her 2nd meeting with her ex-husband) has dreams about him and the end of their marriage.
A SCENE where Philip is alone at restaurant. Liz and Barbara invite him to join them. He admits that Cheryl left him. He really thought it would last. She, apparently was just indulging a temporary infatuation. A young man more her age stole her heart. He’s quite broken up about it. E and B are appropriately sympathetic, but E reminds him that at least now he doesn’t have to worry about the faculty code. He says he would trade that worry with having her still in his life any day.
DRAFT of that scene:
INT. THE CORONA RESTAURANT – EVENING
Barbara and Elizabeth are eating their meal at the local restaurant. Philip walks in and is guided to a table at the back. Elizabeth notices him sitting down.
ELIZABETH
There’s Philip. Alone.
BARBARA
Oh didn’t you hear? Cheryl dumped him.
ELIZABETH
Oh my. No wonder he looks so glum. Let’s not let him stew all alone.
She gets up and goes to Philip’s table, says a couple of words to him. He signals to the waiter who picks up his plate and cutlery and bring it over to their table.
As Elizabeth and Philip sit down…
BARBARA
Glad you can join us.
PHILIP
Happy to.
BARBARA
Let’s get the waiter over so you can order.
She signals the waiter. They are silent for a moment. Then…
PHILIP
Well, Liz, you’ll be happy.
ELIZABETH
Why’s that?
PHILIP
Sarah threw me over.
ELIZABETH
I heard. I’m sorry.
PHILIP
For a young man her age, no less.
BARBARA
What happened? Need all the juicy details!
ELIZABETH
Barbara! That’s Philip’s business.
PHILIP
No… I don’t mind. Our relationship wasn’t looked upon too kindly by her friends. And her parents, of course, were dead set against it. 18 year age difference and all…
BARBARA
That’s too bad.
PHILIP
Yeah. I have to admit I was really smitten with the girl. I know. Pathetic – man my age.
BARBARA
Love is never pathetic.
PHILIP
Well, apparently it was just a temporary fling for her. I’m the one crying nightly in my whisky. Her, she’s off enjoying the nightlife with her new beau.
ELIZABETH
Well at least… now you don’t have to worry about faculty codes of conduct.
PHILIP
I’d trade all that worry for another night with her.
ELIZABETH
Really? I find that rather–
But Barbara gives her a look.
BARBARA
Understandable. What can we do to cheer you up? I know. Why don’t you find the tastiest, most unhealthy things on the menu and order up. My treat.
PHILIP
You are too kind. But I couldn’t.
BARBARA
I insist.
PHILIP
Okay then.
He starts looking over the menu and Barbara and Elizabeth exchange a look.
-
Subject line: Dale’s Solved Character Problems!
What I learned from doing this assignment is to figure out where I already have strong characters, and where I can look to answering some questions – such as, whether to show in some clear way, my protagonist’s wound. I don’t necessarily have the answers yet, but it’s helpful to ask the questions.
A. Protagonist: An interesting question to explore is my character’s “wound” and how the antagonist/love interest challenges it. Elizabeth’s wound is having a highly sensitive brother kill himself in his early 20s, along with her disdain for an overly emotional and volatile mother. She tailors herself after her rational and calm father. She finds this a safer, less risky way to move through life.
So, an interesting question is how, or if I should, weave any of this past into the narrative?
B. Antagonist: I think he is a strong protagonist because he challenges Elizabeth’s “safety zone” by forcing her to deal with strong emotions.
C. Character Intros: Elizabeth is shown in her home, which reflects her personality, and in her lecture, which shows her academic performance and bias. Richard is shown rushing across campus (late), and impressing a female student with his good looks.
D. Characters not in action. Question here. Are the characters lectures them “in action?” Even though these are talking head type moments – I think how Elizabeth presents the material and the very different way Richard presents the same material is, in a way, active. Also, we see Elizabeth just standing at her podium, while we see Richard moving about the room animatedly while he talks (A reflection of their two personalities.)
E. Protagonist journey. She definitely goes from old ways (controlled, confident, rational articulate, ethically certain) to new ways (out of control, emotional, confused, not sure any more as to how to behave, her mind and emotions in conflict. Out of which a new Elizabeth – one who is more balanced, emerges.)
F. All the characters seem the same. Here, there don’t appear to be issues, the characters really do speak in very different ways. One thing I may want to think about is that issue of action – how their behaviors and movements during a scene will enhance what they’re saying. Ex. I have Elizabeth throwing her phone across the room in frustration. But should I look for more moments like that in other scenes?
G. Lead characters not present. Though the other characters appear in a few scenes, they are almost always with one of the leads. And of course there are the scenes which just have the two lead characters. So all in all, the lead characters really do take up most of the screenplay.
-
Dale’s Solved Structural Problems
What I learned doing this assignment is that generally my structure is pretty solid. I had to shift a few things around, and I may need to, in upcoming drafts, figure out how the subplots fit best into the key structure – but for now, I think it’s working.
ACT 1:
Opening/Old Ways: We see Elizabeth in her home – a home which reflects her level of culture. We then see her giving her philosophy lecture on the Rationalists. This reflects both her own bias toward rationality, and shows her confident and in control, in her element. (which reflects
Inciting Incident: The arrival of Elizabeth’s new TA and graduate advisee. She will not realize, of course, that he will change her life. But he will. At first it is just his iconoclastic style that she needs to reign in. But soon, the attraction begins.
ACT 2:
The plan: Elizabeth, denying any budding feelings, continues to try and “reign Richard in,” by questioning his grade on a particular student’s paper. As they discuss this, the conversation, though intellectual in nature, has undertones of their growing attraction.
The Plan in action: Philip Monahan, who sees Richard as a renegade thinker, wonders how the more conventional Elizabeth is dealing with him. She assures Philip that she is handling Richard. But Philip warns her that Richard will keep them on their toes.
Midpoint Turning Point After Richard and Elizabeth find themselves at the same coffee shop off campus, they have a more intimate conversation about their pasts. Elizabeth is becoming more consciously aware of her attraction, though she denies it to her friend, Barbara. What changes everything is when Richard turns up, soon after, at Elizabeth’s home, ostensibly to review final student grades, but really to declare his feelings to Elizabeth. He kisses her. Despite herself, she kisses him back. She then kicks him out!
ACT 3:
React. Rethink: What now?? The university rules state that anyone with a relationship with a student must report it to administration and must end it, along with having others grade or advise them. But she wants to keep working with him, so…
New plan: She determines that the kiss was a big mistake, and it’s not too late to turn things around. She meets with Richard once to tell him that it will “never happen again” and that they can still have a working relationship. And she puts this plan into action. But she now has dreams about Richard, and can’t get him out of her mind (or fantasies). She meets with her ex-husband to confess what happened and says she didn’t expect this to be so hard. “Head to heart combat always is,” he simply states.
Turning Point: All is Lost: Despite Elizabeth’s attempts to dissuade Richard, he refuses to give up, and calls her on the phone, leaves her texts, etc. Finally he turns up at her house and although she tries to tell him why it absolutely cannot work, they end up giving in to their mutual passion. Shortly after this, Philip Monohan puts the pieces together. Will he report her?
ACT 4:
Dilemma: What does she do? Her heart is telling her one thing, her head another.
Climax. Ultimate Expression Of The Conflict: Elizabeth tells Barbara how torn she is. Does she report the relationship to the administration, which would risk Richard needing to transfer elsewhere, which she doesn’t want him to do. Does she find some way to impose reason on this runaway passion? Why isn’t reason there to save her anymore?
Resolution: At last, the heart wins out and she goes to Richard telling him she’s willing to risk her job for their love. Barbara, worried for her friend’s emotional health, goes to Richard and tells him he needs to back off. After taking take to think it through, he realizes, for Elizabeth’s sake, he needs to leave. It is at this point that Elizabeth, struck by the silence of Richard no longer calling her, goes to him and declares her love, saying she is willing to risk everything, including her job, for it. At which point, Richard declares he will be leaving the university, so that she won’t be forced to make this kind of sacrifice of her ethics. She protests but then realizes he is right.
New Ways:
What Elizabeth has truly learned is that, despite her formerly inflexible and judgmental ways, that things are not always black and white, and that human beings, when it comes to the struggles of heart and mind, are fallible, and not always capable of being rational. It has softened her rigidity and brought a whole new dimension to both her personality and her teaching.
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Dale’s Filled In Missing Scenes!
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of scenes that add each to the one before, enhancing the flow of the story.
Missing Scenes:
INT. UNIVERSITY / ELIZABETH’S HOME – DAY/EVENING
Richard goes looking for Elizabeth. Barbara tells him she went hom with a stomach ache. Later, Richard leaves her a message that he can bring her chicken soup and they need to talk.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
Philip is filling in for Elizabeth since she is home with the “flu.”INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY –
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – VARIOUS / ELIZABETH’S
HOMERichard keeps trying to call Elizabeth, but her phone is often turned off. At one point, though, she will turn it back on as she struggles with her feelings.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
There is a scene between Philip and Richard in which Philip figures out what’s happening between Richard and Elizabeth.
INT. RICHARD’S OFFICE – DAY
Scene between Barbara and Richard in which she tells him he has to back off – for Elizabeth’s sake.
INT. ELIZABETH’S HOME – DAY AND EVENING
Elizabeth checks her now turned-on phone and is surprised and worried when there are now no new messages from Richard.
DRAFT OF MISSING SCENES:
INT. UNIVERSITY CAFETERIA
Richard sticks his head in, looking for Elizabeth. She is not there.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE ELIZABETH’S OFFICE
Richard arrives at Elizabeth’s office door and knocks. No response. He tries the door, it is locked.
EXT. UNIVERSITY GROUNDS – DAY
Richard sees Barbara walking toward the Anthro building. He stops her.
RICHARD
Hello Professor Biden.
BARBARA
Why hello, Richard.
RICHARD
Have you, by chance, seen Elizabeth?
BARBARA
I saw her earlier. She was complaining of a stomach ache. She went home early.
RICHARD
Oh.
BARBARA
Anything I should be aware of?
RICHARD
What? No, no. Just wondering.
BARBARA
Okay then.
But she watches him, suspiciously, as he walks away.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Elizabeth is dressed in worn out sweats. The television is on, but the volume has been turned off. She is randomly clicking stations with her remote, but not really concentrating on anything.
The phone rings. She starts! She looks at the caller.
ON PHONE which reads: Richard Amado
She doesn’t answer, but when it beeps that there is a message, she hesitates a moment, then plays that message back.
RICHARD
Hello, Elizabeth. You’ve been home sick now for a couple of days. I wish you’d answer. Let me come over and bring you chicken soup, okay? I’m really good at TLC. We can talk. We really should talk…
She switches her phone off, turns the volume up on the TV and keeps flipping channels.
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL
Philip walks onto stage from wings, rather harried. He sets his notes on the lectern and addresses the class:
PHILIP
Good afternoon, everyone. I apologize for the missed lectures, but I’m going to fill in now until Dr. Drewer is better and we’ll see if we can get you caught up.
ON STUDENTS
Several hands have shot up.
BACK TO PHILIP
PHILIP
I know you have a lot of questions. But why don’t we just push through here and I’ll try to stay after class for a minute or two, all right? Good. …Well, I see your learned professor began a unit on Hegel before the flu laid her low. So let’s continue, shall we, by looking at Hegel’s theory of Dialectic, which explores what happens when you have an unbearable tension of opposites.
INT. RICHARD’S CLASS – DAY
Richard is finishing up his discussion group. He doesn’t have the enthusiasm he usually has.
RICHARD
All right. Make sure to turn in your papers on Hegel’s Political Theories by Friday.
And he packs up his briefcase and exits quickly before any students can ask him anything.
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
Richard is sitting with a coffee in front of him, staring, disinterested, into space. Philip enters.
PHILIP
Hello, Richard.
RICHARD
Professor Monohan.
PHILIP
Wow, you don’t look so hot. Not coming down with the flu as well, I hope?
RICHARD
No.
PHILIP
Any word about Elizabeth… Dr. Drewer’s return?
Richard does not respond.
PHILIP
Not to complain, but this is not the easiest thing in the world for me, having to carry the burden of my classes and hers as well.
RICHARD
Hmmm?
PHILIP
Are you listening to me?
RICHARD
Sure.
PHILIP
Well then, let me repeat my question. You wouldn’t by chance know when Professor Drewer is coming back?
RICHARD
No. Why should I?
PHILIP
No reason. I just thought, as her T.A., you might be privy to more information than I have.
RICHARD
Well I’m not!
PHILIP
Fine. A little touchy, aren’t we?
RICHARD
Sorry. Maybe I’m not feeling so great.
PHILIP
Well, I’m a little off balance myself. It’s a damnable thing, really, Liz being gone. Even temporarily. It’s like the center has dropped out of our department. Not that I’m always crazy about having her around, mind you. Well, you would know, she being your advisor and all…
RICHARD
Know what?
PHILIP
Well! How she can be a little… Demanding. Exacting. Perfectionistic to the hilt.
RICHARD
I hadn’t noticed.
PHILIP
You hadn’t–? I know you admire her, Richard, but I didn’t expect you had blinders on!
RICHARD
I think she’s… great.
PHILIP
Oh, now that really surprises me. Considering how she’s had to rein you in. I thought you’d be chomping at her bit by now.
RICHARD
I did a little at first. But it’s for my own good. And it’s a gentle bit.
PHILIP
Excuse me, but are we talking about the same Elizabeth Drewer.
RICHARD
Yeah, well, that’s where I think people go wrong with her. They confuse her intellectual rigor with restriction. I find it stimulating actually.
PHILIP
You do? Stimulating?
RICHARD
Yes.
PHILIP
Interesting choice of words.
RICHARD
Well, all right then, invigorating. Challenging.
PHILIP
No, “stimulating” is just fine. …Curious. She seems to find your presence every bit as… stimulating.
RICHARD
So? We… have a good rapport.
PHILIP
Yes… an exceptionally good rapport.
RICHARD
What are you getting at?
PHILIP
(really dawning on him)
My God, I should have wondered about this before!
RICHARD
What?
PHILIP
I mean, hell, I’m the expert, I know the signs. But still, could it be possible? …Elizabeth?!
RICHARD
Professor Monohan, I–!
PHILIP
Geez, if this is true… no wonder she’s home sick! She’d be way out of her depth, here!
RICHARD
I have no idea what you’re talking about!
PHILIP
…Oh, my boy, what have you done?
RICHARD
Professor, I don’t know what you think you know!
PHILIP
Oh, I think you do. It’s all beginning to make sense now… Her unusual enthusiasm for you, her changes in behavior…
(beat)
How far has it gone?
(beat)
No, no! Don’t tell me, I don’t want to know!
(beat)
How far has it gone?
RICHARD
I think I’d better go!
PHILIP
Yes, yes, you’d better. The less said and all that…
(more to himself)
My God… Elizabeth Drewer!
RICHARD
Professor. Whatever you– you wouldn’t…!
PHILIP
Oh, no! Your secret’s safe with me. …Of course… you better pray I don’t get called in front of some committee.
RICHARD
What?
PHILIP
Never mind. Don’t worry. Go. Go!
Richard quickly walks out of the faculty lounge. Philip shakes his head in continued amazement as well as a certain glee.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Elizabeth takes out her cell phone, stares at it, then puts it down. She then, purposefully, picks the phone up again, and…
CLOSE ON PHONE
As Elizabeth turns the cell phone off.
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S OFFICE – DAY
Richard takes out his cell phone, looks for messages, and finds none.
CLOSE ON PHONE
As Richard goes to Elizabeth’s number and keys it in. It goes directly to:
ELIZABETH (V.O.)
You have reached the cell phone of Elizabeth Drewer. Please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as I am able.
Richard ends the call. He tries another number (her home number) and gets the message:
ELIZABETH (V.O.)
You have reached the home of Elizabeth Drewer. Leave a message. Thank you.
INT. RICHARD’S OFFICE – DAY
Richard stares at the phone a moment, then puts it back in his jacket, grabs his briefcase and leaves his office.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Elizabeth comes out of her kitchen, a glass of water in her hand. She looks lost, almost bereft. She looks at her cell phone, places her hand on it, letting it linger there a moment, then slowly…
CLOSE ON PHONE
As she turns the phone back on.
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S OFFICE – DAY
The office door is open. Richard sits at his desk, staring, unseeing, at the papers there.
Barbara appears at the door. She lightly taps on the door frame.
Richard looks up.
RICHARD
Professor Biden.
BARBARA
May I speak with you?
RICHARD
Yes. Come in.
Barbara enters and takes a seat.
BARBARA
Look, Richard. I’ll cut to the chase. I had a long talk with Elizabeth. I know what’s going on.
RICHARD
You do?
BARBARA
Yes.
RICHARD
Oh my God, how is she? I’ve been trying to call her all week! But her voice mail always comes on.
BARBARA
Richard, you need to give her some breathing space.
RICHARD
Why? It’s absurd what she’s expecting us to do! How are we supposed to just stop cold?
BARBARA
I don’t know. But I do know, if you push the issue right now, it could do more harm than good.
RICHARD
Professor Biden, can’t you just tell her I want to talk to her?
BARBARA
She doesn’t want to talk to you. Not right now. She has to sort this out.
RICHARD
Sort out what, exactly?
BARBARA
Well, to begin with, what happened to the person she thought she was!
RICHARD
She’s still that person.
BARBARA
I’m not so sure about that! …And besides, Richard, this relationship is not exactly taking place in a vacuum. I mean, if anyone at this college got wind of what was going on…
Richard suddenly looks worried.
BARBARA
Richard? …What?
RICHARD
I was talking earlier with Professor Monohan…
BARBARA
Philip…?!
RICHARD
I don’t know how, but he… knows!
BARBARA
…Oh, no. Oh, God!
RICHARD
What?
BARBARA
You didn’t know? He’s been having an affair with a student. Liz has been trying to get him to report it. Telling him he needs to follow faculty rules to the T.
RICHARD
You’re kidding! …But he was being really… He was sympathetic!
BARBARA
That’s because he’s been there, my dear! But if push comes to shove, who knows! …Oh, this is not good. This is not good at all.
RICHARD
So what do we do?
BARBARA
You do what she’s already said. You stop it, now.
RICHARD
But I love her!
BARBARA
That may well be. But look what you are asking of her – to sneak around with you! To deceive people!
RICHARD
Yes, if we have to!
BARBARA
And she would go through every day knowing she was a hypocrite.
RICHARD
Not a hypocrite, true to her heart.
BARBARA
Which will have betrayed her head.
A beat. This starts to sink in for Richard.
BARBARA
…Who is it you think you fell in love with, Richard? The woman or the philosopher?
RICHARD
Both!
BARBARA
Well, you mess with one, baby, I assure you it will reverberate through the other!
ON RICHARD
His face pensive…
-
Dale’s Act 4 Resolution
What I learned doing this assignment is how the resolution doesn’t just “resolve” the story, but shows the character demonstrating/living the new ways.
KEY SCENES 4: RESOLUTION
Elizabeth has seen Richard off, and she feels, in some ways, like she has stepped out of a hurricane. But we see how she has changed in a warm encounter with Philip, and in how she addresses her class. Final scene is her flying off to meet Richard in Mexico.
OUTLINE – KEY SCENES 4:
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
Beginning: Elizabeth joins Philip at his table
Middle: She asks about Richard, indicating he knows what went on. At first she denies, then admits.
End: There is a reconciliation between them as she realizes that Philip is a good man and that he is not going to betray her secret. She judged him too harshly.
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL
Beginning: Elizabeth starts her standing end of class lecture.
Middle: She then changes course to acknowledge that reason needs to be tempered by the heart.
End: She lets the students know that she will be flying off to uncharted territory.
INT. AIRPORT TERMINAL – DAY
Beginning: Elizabeth is at an airport window checking in.
Middle: She heads to the gate
End: She settles into her seat on the airplane and peers out the window as it climbs up toward the clouds.
DRAFT OF RESOLUTION SCENES:
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
Philip is sitting at a table grading a stack of papers. Elizabeth walks in.
PHILIP
Ah. The prodigal daughter has returned.
ELIZABETH
Hello Philip.
PHILIP
I kept your classes warm while you were gone. But I’m sure they’re grateful as hell you’re back. As am I.
ELIZABETH
Yes. Thank you for pitching in like that. I know it must have been a terrible burden.
PHILIP
Not, I imagine, as terrible as the one you were bearing.
ELIZABETH
What?
PHILIP
I see the solution was to cast him out. If thy eye offends thee…
ELIZABETH
If you think you know something, I can assure you–
PHILIP
…that nothing went on with the boy wonder?
He does a Groucho Marx routine:
PHILIP
And boy, if he got to you, he must have been a wonder!
ELIZABETH
I was told you came up with some crazy idea that–
PHILIP
Oh come on, Liz. I’m not going to tell, if that’s what you’re afraid of. It’s just nice to have the company. Even if the last person I expected that to be was you.
A long pause. Elizabeth stares at him. Finally, giving it up:
ELIZABETH
Ah, hell!
PHILIP
There now, see, doesn’t that feel better?
ELIZABETH
Does anyone else know?
PHILIP
No. You shipped him out just in time.
ELIZABETH
I didn’t ship him out. He volunteered!
PHILIP
Did he? My my. Good looks and nobility. No wonder you fell. And pretty hard I imagine.
ELIZABETH
I stopped caring about anything else, Philip. Even my work.
PHILIP
Yeah, I know. Too well.
ELIZABETH
You do.
(beat)
I’m sorry, Philip. I was unfair to you.
PHILIP
(truly appreciates)
Thank you.
(beat)
…So, how are you doing?
ELIZABETH
I feel like I’ve just stepped out of a hurricane.
PHILIP
Yeah. You’ll feel that for a while.
ELIZABETH
(A beat.)
I don’t get it.
PHILIP
What?
ELIZABETH
After the way I came down on you, this is the perfect opportunity to rub my nose in it. Why aren’t you?
PHILIP
Well I admit, I was tempted. Sorely. But in the end, I decided you probably rubbed your own nose in it far more than I could have.
ELIZABETH
Yes! I did!
(beat, considers)
You’re a good man, Philip.
PHILIP
It took you this long to realize that?
ELIZABETH
It took me this long to realize a lot of things.
PHILIP
(beat)
Well, before we start breaking down and embracing wildly, I suggest we go over what I covered with your class.
ELIZABETH
That is an excellent idea!
She reaches in her briefcase for a notebook.
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL
Elizabeth is at her lectern. She looks out at her class.
ELIZABETH
All right …Before we move into finals week, let’s sum up: When our class began, I asked you to ponder a question: How do you know something? And how does reason help you do it?
She goes into her standard reply
ELIZABETH
Well, reason, I think we have seen, is a tool whose value cannot be overestimated. It allows us to navigate the murky waters of emotionalism and land on the much more reliable shores of clarity and logic. It is that which in the end… in the end…
She pauses, considering.
ELIZABETH
…might not always be enough.
(beat)
What I mean is… When powerful emotions have a grip on us, we want reason to lead us out of what feels like a chaotic state of being.
(beat)
But let’s look at the situation rationally, shall we? Does reason, by itself, always lead to knowledge? Or does it sometimes prevent us from really knowing ourselves, in all our chaotic beauty? “The heart has its reasons reason knows nothing of,” said Blaise Pascal. I guess what I’m trying to ask is: Is it possible that reason, if not tempered by the heart, may not stand a snowball’s chance in hell of saving us!
(beat)
So… uh,… It is with this… added perspective that we will continue our process of exploration next semester as we study philosophers from the mid-19th through 20th centuries.
Her lecture continues in voiceover as…
INT. AIRPORT TERMINAL – DAY
We see Elizabeth arriving at an airport window, giving them her passport.
ELIZABETH (V.O.)
I hope you all have a wonderful winter break. I myself, will be… flying off to… uncharted territory.
Elizabeth heads towards a gate…
ELIZABETH (V.O.)
I look forward to seeing you all upon my return.
INT. INSIDE AIRPLANE – DAY
Elizabeth settled in to her seat. She smiles to herself as if enjoying a private secret. She then looks out at the clouds as her flight climbs higher and higher…
FADE TO BLACK.
-
Dale’s Act 4 Climax
What I learned doing this assignment is that the climax scene must happen between the protagonist and antagonist. And in the case of a romance between them, that they both need to have undergone a change (a letting go of old ways.)
OUTLINE OF KEY SCENE THREE: CLIMAX
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S OFFICE – DAY
Beginning: Richard is packing a box with books when Elizabeth arrives declaring her love and that she’s giving up the fight.
Middle: Richard reveals he has taken it on himself to leave the university. She protests he doesn’t have to, but he tells her all the reasons he does.
End: She finally acquiesces.
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S OFFICE – DAY
Richard is filling up a box with books. His back is to the open office door. Elizabeth appears there. He doesn’t notice her.
ELIZABETH
Hi.
Surprised, he turns around.
RICHARD
Elizabeth. I didn’t expect to see you.
ELIZABETH
You stopped calling.
RICHARD
Yes, that’s because–
ELIZABETH
I made it impossible, I know. But I’ve come to tell you something.
RICHARD
What?
ELIZABETH
… You win. I can’t fight anymore. I thought I could, but I can’t.
RICHARD
Elizabeth…
ELIZABETH
It’s all right. It’s a relief, in a way, to just give in. My whole life has been about calculation, and now, suddenly it’s not.
She comes closer.
ELIZABETH
All the reasons I shouldn’t be here, they’re still true. But when you stopped calling, this… silence set in. The silence of what my life would be without you. And I realized: I’m in love with you, Richard.
She touches his face, tenderly. But over his shoulder she notices the box he’s been packing up…
She pulls back.
ELIZABETH
What are you… What’s going on?
RICHARD
I was planning to tell you. I’m leaving.
ELIZABETH
What?
RICHARD
I spoke to the chairman two days ago. He’s found someone to cover my groups.
ELIZABETH
Well, you can speak to him again. Tell him you’ve changed your mind. You don’t have to do this now.
RICHARD
I have to more than ever.
ELIZABETH
Why?
RICHARD
Because I can’t let you do this!
ELIZABETH
But I thought… this is what you wanted.
RICHARD
I did! …I’m just not so sure now.
Elizabeth, turns away, clearly stricken.
RICHARD
No, it’s not what I meant.
He goes and takes her hand.
RICHARD
I’ve been thinking about this. A lot. And I realized, even if I wore you down, the price you’d have to pay for loving me would be too high. And I can’t stay and not love you.
ELIZABETH
Then stay and love me.
RICHARD
I don’t think you’re in any state right now to make that decision.
ELIZABETH
Why? Because I’m not breaking everything down into syllogisms? Because I’m advocating passion?!
RICHARD
No. Because I think you may be drunk on this and I’m afraid you’re going to wake up with a terrible hangover.
Elizabeth throws her arms around him…
ELIZABETH
I want to be drunk!
Richard stays in her embrace a moment, drinking it in. But then, he pulls away.
RICHARD
Elizabeth. Let’s say you and I do this thing. And we manage not to get caught. That means for two more years, we’ll be keeping it hidden, acting like it’s something wrong, which I’m sure you still believe it is. Every time you review my work you’ll know your opinion is compromised. You don’t think you’re going to look at me one day and hate me for that? Not to speak of how you’ll feel about yourself?
ELIZABETH
So your solution is to just walk away from your studies? To leave? I don’t even know where you’re going!
RICHARD
I’m going to… Mexico. On a 2:00 flight tomorrow.
ELIZABETH
Mexico?
RICHARD
It’s where I always go to gather myself. My grandparents are still there. I made up a story about my grandpa being ill, that’s why the chairman’s letting me leave so abruptly. And then I’ll use that as an excuse for applying to universities in the Southwest. None of it will seem frivolous. Medical necessity, you see.
ELIZABETH
(hurt)
Yes. I see you have it all figured out.
RICHARD
No, not all.
ELIZABETH
What’s left?
RICHARD
You!
(beat)
Elizabeth. You think I want to go? I don’t! But I think you need some time, some space to… get clear on this.
ELIZABETH
But I love you.
RICHARD
Well, then… I left you the name of the hotel where I’ll be. Come join me, winter break, …if you still feel the same.
ELIZABETH
Richard. You don’t have to do this.
RICHARD
I think there’s enough of the old Elizabeth Drewer here to know it’s the only rational choice.
They look at each other. He smiles, and gently takes her in his arms. They remain like this a long moment, and then they reluctantly pull apart.
-
Dale’s Act 4 First Scenes:
What I learned doing this assignment is that I’m really not sure I’m always plugging the right scenes in at the right places, but I’m hoping in the rewrite phase, I’ll work this out.
KEY SCENE 1: REACTION TO 3RD ACT TURNING POINT
REACTION SCENES:
Although Elizabeth had a night of unbridled passion with Richard, and wakes up in a blissful state, when she turns and sees him in her bed, she is distressed. She dresses quickly and without waking Richard, heads to work.
Richard turns up at her office, all charm, but she tells him they can’t do this and rushes off. Later he learns that she’s gone home sick.
FACING DILEMMA SCENE
After Elizabeth has stayed home for a week pretending to be sick, Barbara comes over to see what’s really going on. She confesses what happened and struggles with the choices and implications of those choices, torn as to what to do.
OUTLINE OF KEY SCENES:
Reaction Scenes:
INT. ELIZABETH’S HOME – MORNING
Beginning: Elizabeth wakes up next to Richard, happy, but then, looking at him realizes what they have done!
Middle: She gets dressed quickly and quietly without waking him.
End: She heads out the front door for work.
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – HALLWAY OUTSIDE ELIZABETH’S OFFICE – DAY
Beginning: Richard turns up at Liz’s office
Middle: He thinks everything is okay, he tries to charm her
End: She says that they can’t do this, and leaves quickly.
Facing Dilemma Scene:
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – EVENING
Beginning: EIizabeth is in a despairing and disheveled state. Barbara arrives.
Middle: Barbara demands to know what’s wrong and Liz confesses what happened. She has been overcome with a helpless passion.
End: Elizabeth lays out the impossible choices and how she is torn between them.
DRAFT OF KEY SCENES 1 & 2
INT. ELIZABETH’S BEDROOM – EARLY MORNING
Elizabeth is asleep. There is a peaceful look on her face. Slowly she wakes up, stretching her arms, feeling good.
But then she sees Richard lying next to her, asleep, and she remembers what they have done. The look on her face becomes one of growing alarm. She quickly and quietly gets up and gets dressed.
INT. ELIZABETH’S LIVING ROOM – LATER
Elizabeth grabs her briefcase. She looks toward the bedroom, listening. Hearing nothing, she slips quietly out the front door.
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – HALLWAY OUTSIDE ELIZABETH’S OFFICE – DAY
Richard is standing there, waiting. Elizabeth comes down the hallway, and sees him.
ELIZABETH
Richard.
RICHARD
You left early.
Elizabeth looks down the hallway to see if anyone is around. She quickly opens the door and ushers him inside.
INT. ELIZABETH’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
ELIZABETH
Yes.
RICHARD
If you’d woken me up, I could have made you breakfast.
ELIZABETH
I can make my own breakfast.
RICHARD
But you haven’t tasted my Huevos Rancheros.
He smiles charmingly at her. She doesn’t smile back. A beat. He reaches out to touch her, she pulls back from him.
ELIZABETH
I… I have a faculty meeting.
RICHARD
Now?
ELIZABETH
Yes.
RICHARD
(reaching for her again)
Elizabeth…
ELIZABETH
Please! No. We can’t do this.. …I have to go!
And before he can say anything else, she has walked briskly out the door.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – EVENING
There is only one lamp on in a distant room and Elizabeth is sitting on her couch in the semi-darkness staring into space. She is wearing a robe and her hair is mussed.
The living room is in a state of unusual disorder. There is knocking on the door.
ELIZABETH
(softly, to herself)
Go away.
The knocking continues.
ELIZABETH
Go away. Please.
More knocking.
ELIZABETH
I said: GO AWAY!!
BARBARA (O.S.)
Liz, it’s Barbara!
This doesn’t register at first with Elizabeth.
BARBARA
Let me in, would you?
ELIZABETH
Barbara?
She gets up hurriedly and goes to open the door.
ELIZABETH
Barbara. I’m sorry. I thought you were… Come in.
Barbara enters and looks around her.
BARBARA
Do you think you could get it any darker in here?
ELIZABETH
I’m sorry!
She goes and switches on a light. The state of the living room is apparent now.
BARBARA
My God.
ELIZABETH
I know, it’s a mess.
BARBARA
For anyone else, that word might do, but for you… this is pandemonium! …And look at you! You look like you haven’t slept or changed in days. Darling, what’s going on! You’ve been out all week! And why haven’t you answered my calls? I figured you must be dying!
ELIZABETH
(matter of factly)
I am.
BARBARA
Girl. What is it? Talk to me.
ELIZABETH
I… don’t know if I can tell you…
BARBARA
Of course you can. It’s me! Come on, Liz. I’ve never seen you like this.
ELIZABETH
That’s the same thing Marshall said.
BARBARA
Marshall? Has this got to do with Marshall?
ELIZABETH
No, he only came over because he–
BARBARA
What did he say? I’ll kill him!
ELIZABETH
It’s not Marshall, all right?! He was just trying to help! It’s Richard!
BARBARA
Richard? Amado?
ELIZABETH
Yes.
BARBARA
(realizing)
You slept with him.
ELIZABETH
Yes. …It’s like… like he has this hold over me.
BARBARA
Oh sweetie…
ELIZABETH
It was there… even in the beginning, even though I didn’t want to admit it. The air changed when he was in the room. Every movement he made made me feel… made me long to… I don’t understand this.
BARBARA
It’s passion, Liz, pure and simple.
ELIZABETH
But I didn’t feel that way with Marshall. I mean, sex was fine and all, but–
BARBARA
Now you feel swept away.
ELIZABETH
Yes, like one of those foolish women in some bodice-ripping romance novels. This isn’t me, Barbara! I should be able to reason myself out of this.
BARBARA
I think you’re being too hard on yourself.
ELIZABETH
Am I?
BARBARA
Does he love you?
ELIZABETH
He says he does, but–
BARBARA
And do you love him?
ELIZABETH
I… don’t know. Sometimes I think yes… but sometimes I think it’s nothing more than lust, or obsession, or… insanity!
BARBARA
Sounds like love to me.
(beat)
Look… I know you don’t want to hear this, but… why not, for the first time in your life, just go for it!
ELIZABETH
What?
BARBARA
You wouldn’t be the first, you know! Granted, the sexes are usually reversed, the ages too, and there is the Faculty Code… but as long as you didn’t get caught, as long as you were discreet…
ELIZABETH
Discreet! Oh I see, you mean, now that’s it happening to me, I can break the rules I’ve been telling everyone else to follow?
BARBARA
Well what are you going to do then?
ELIZABETH
I don’t know! If I report us to the administration, which I’m required to do, what will that mean? Richard will have to transfer somewhere else? And me, I’ll be viewed as a predator?
BARBARA
You’re not a predator.
ELIZABETH
Yes, I know. Not officially. But I didn’t stop it!
BARBARA
You tried.
ELIZABETH
Trying doesn’t count.
BARBARA
And if you don’t report it?
ELIZABETH
Then how do we stay away from each other? Because if we don’t, and someone discovers what’s going on, it could ruin our careers. There’s this girl, a student who has a crush on Richard, that already saw us arguing at one point.
BARBARA
Oh darling, I don’t know what to tell you.
Barbara goes and puts her arms around Elizabeth, and holds her quietly.
-
Dale’s Completed Act 3
What I learned doing this assignment is how the remaining scene, though not a “key scene,” as it were, feeds the key scenes.
There is one remaining scene in Act 3:
This scene happens just before Richard turns up at Elizabeth’s house – for the final turning point scene of Act 3.
OUTLINE:
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – EVENING
Beginning: Elizabeth has invited Marshall over to ostensibly give him a gift for the new baby.
Middle: But, really, she wants to ask him what it was like to be caught up in an illicit affair.
End: Marshall realizes that Elizabeth has gotten involved with someone she shouldn’t, and shows her a degree of empathy.
Draft of remaining scene:
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – EVENING
Elizabeth has poured herself a drink and is pacing. The doorbell rings. She puts down the drink and goes to open the door. Marshall stands there.
MARSHALL
Hello, Elizabeth.
He comes in.
MARSHALL
You could have put it in the mail, you know.
ELIZABETH
Yes, well, I thought that would have been a little… impersonal.
MARSHALL
I’m actually surprised you… well, I mean… thank you.
Elizabeth reaches for a present wrapped in baby wrapping sitting on an end table.
ELIZABETH
I had no idea what size to buy… so I got 12 months, I figured she could grow into it.
MARSHALL
That’ll be perfect.
ELIZABETH
How does it feel?
MARSHALL
Oh. Well, it’s overwhelming. It’s thrilling. It’s falling madly in love seen through the prism of merciless sleep deprivation.
ELIZABETH
Wow.
MARSHALL
Yes. I wouldn’t trade it for anything… I mean…
ELIZABETH
No, Marshall. It’s okay.
MARSHALL
(beat)
Elizabeth, you don’t seem… quite yourself.
ELIZABETH
Well, it’s only that… things are a little… confusing right now.
MARSHALL
What’s going on?
Elizabeth starts to tear up. This is surprising to Marshall.
MARSHALL
What? What is it?
ELIZABETH
Can I ask you… When you first slept with Mara… Did you feel conflicted, guilty, terribly wrong…
MARSHALL
Thank you for reminding me.
ELIZABETH
Did you?
MARSHALL
Okay, yes. I felt all of that and more!
ELIZABETH
Then why…?
MARSHALL
Did I keep seeing her?
ELIZABETH
Yes.
MARSHALL
I can’t believe that you’re really asking me this.
ELIZABETH
Just, tell me!
MARSHALL
Well… Because at the same time as I felt all that, I also felt more alive, more exhilarated than I’d ever felt in my life.
ELIZABETH
Oh.
MARSHALL
I’m sorry.
ELIZABETH
No. I understand.
MARSHALL
(slowly realizing)
You’ve gotten involved with someone!
ELIZABETH
…Yes.
MARSHALL
Someone you shouldn’t be involved with.
ELIZABETH
…Yes. It was only a kiss but–
MARSHALL
Well, for you, that’s–.
ELIZABETH
I hate it!
MARSHALL
I can imagine you do!
ELIZABETH
I’m not letting it go any further. And I’m quite clear it’s the right decision. It’s just… It’s just… I didn’t expect it to be so hard!
MARSHALL
(with empathy)
Head to heart combat always is.
-
Dale’s Act 3 Turning Point
What I learned doing this assignment is that I felt like the turning point happens in 4 consecutive scenes that increase in intensity.
KEY SCENES 4
Turning point, 1<sup>st</sup> scene: Richard corners Elizabeth at her at her car telling her he doesn’t like Liz’s minimal contact rule. This scene is witnessed from afar by Sarah, the student who had flirted with Richard, which Elizabeth sees as a potential problem.
In the next scene, Elizabeth receives multiple voice mails from Richard, and that night has a sex dream about him.
Turning Point, 2<sup>nd</sup> scene: Lowest point. Richard then turns up at her house, knocking until she finally opens. She does everything to convince him and herself that this relationship cannot go further. Despite herself, the attraction is too strong and she gives in. This is a near final death blow to her old ways.
OUTLINES:
EXT. UNIVERSITY PARKING LOT – AFTERNOON
Beginning: Richard tells Liz he wishes she wouldn’t avoid her
Middle: Liz gives him all the reasons that she needs to
End: The student, Sarah, sees them – this worries Elizabeth
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER HOME – KITCHEN – EVENING
Beginning Elizabeth pours herself a drink, feeling frazzled
Middle: She listens to voice mails – a couple from Richard asking her to reconsider
End: She flings the phone against the wall.
INT. ELIZABETH’S BEDROOM – MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
Beginning She tosses and turns
Middle: She has a dream about Richard
End: She wakes in a sweat
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – EVENING
Beginning Richard knocks and knocks until Liz lets him in
Middle: He tells her he can’t stop thinking of her, he’ll transfer to another school if needs be. She says a second transfer would reflect badly and he’d end up somewhere substandard.
End: He asks for her to let him stay, and they can hide it, which she protests, but then when he kisses her again, she gives in.
EXT. UNIVERSITY PARKING LOT – AFTERNOON
Elizabeth is walking to her car which is parked in the faculty section. Richard, leaning against his own car, sees her and moves toward her.
RICHARD
Elizabeth.
ELIZABETH
Were you waiting there for me?
RICHARD
No. Yes. What can I do, you’ve been avoiding me.
ELIZABETH
I informed you that’s what I would do.
RICHARD
“Informed” me? Geez, could you be more officious?
ELIZABETH
It’s for our own good.
RICHARD
Then why doesn’t it feel good?
ELIZABETH
Feelings have nothing to do with it.
RICHARD
Feelings have everything to do with it.
ELIZABETH
And that’s where we differ.
RICHARD
Or that’s where you pretend we do.
He puts his hand on her arm. She shakes it off. At that moment she notices Sarah Reeves, standing at her own car and staring in their direction.
ELIZABETH
Who is that?
RICHARD
Huh?
ELIZABETH
That student. Isn’t she in the philosophy program?
Richard turns and looks quickly at Sarah, and then back at Elizabeth.
RICHARD
Yeah. Sarah Reeves.
ELIZABETH
Why is she staring at us?
RICHARD
I… I don’t know.
ELIZABETH
I think you do.
RICHARD
Yeah, okay. She uh… she has a little crush on me.
ELIZABETH
Jesus. That is just the kind of problem that– Please, Richard, I’m going to get in my car now.
RICHARD
Okay.
ELIZABETH
This has to stop.
She glances at Sarah, and quickly gets in her car and drives away.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER HOME – KITCHEN – EVENING
Elizabeth is pouring herself a glass of wine. She looks frazzled. She begins preparing dinner. She puts her phone on speaker and presses the first voice message:
Richard’s voice comes on:
RICHARD (V.O.)
Professor Elizabeth Drewer. This is your colleague, Richard Amado, registering a formal complaint. Being that the party of the first part, myself, and the party of the second part, your very desirable self, have now no contact whatsoever… other than extremely officious e-mails and memos, I protest that this is having a detrimental effect on our department, our students, and the universe as a whole. I say this out of entirely altruistic purposes and would ask that you resolve this issue forthwith by contacting me immediately. Or just answering your damn phone! Okay. My lawyer will call your lawyer.
Elizabeth frowns. She then clicks on another message:
PHILIP (V.O.)
Elizabeth, this is Philip. Wondering what happened to you at Monday’s departmental meeting. I really could have used you backing me up on that issue of Distribution Requirements. You seem to hold more sway with our illustrious chairman, can’t imagine why. Anyway, everything all right?
She clicks another message:
BARBARA (V.O.)
Hey honey, what’s going on? You sure are scooting off campus awfully quick these days! Is this about you-know-who? Call me.
She clicks another message:
RICHARD (V.O.)
Okay, look. Here’s how I see it. We’ve opened a Pandora’s box, I’ll admit it. Our attraction has unleashed all kinds of complications. Not the least of which is the possible loss of our jobs and reputations. But here’s the thing. Have you ever heard any version of the myth where Pandora could close the box, once it was open? Well, I haven’t either. Come on, Elizabeth! This is not something you want to throw away! Please… let me come and see you. I’m tired of leaving messages on your cell. Give me one more chance to try and–
Elizabeth flings the phone across the room.
ELIZABETH
Leave me alone! Just leave me alone!
INT. ELIZABETH’S BEDROOM – MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
Elizabeth is tossing and turning. Suddenly, she opens her eyes and looks across the room and Richard is standing there. He slowly comes toward her, their eyes fixed on each other. He takes off his shirt and she soaks in his body with her eyes. He falls into her bed with her and they begin kissing hungrily.
Elizabeth wakes up! She has a fevered look in her eyes.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – EVENING
Elizabeth is huddled on the couch, with a blanket on her. We hear knocking, at first soft, then more persistent. Elizabeth ignores it. We hear Richard’s voice from outside the door.
RICHARD (V.O.)
Elizabeth! Please, let me in. I want to talk to you. I know you’re there! I see your car. I’m not going away this time! I will stay here and knock all night if I have to! Elizabeth, please, open up!
Richard starts knocking again. Elizabeth puts her hands over her ears. Finally, as the knocking continues, she gets up and goes to open the door, leaving the chain on.
ELIZABETH
Go away, Richard.
RICHARD
Elizabeth! Let me in!
ELIZABETH
Go away!
RICHARD
I’m going to start knocking on the neighbors’ doors next! Get the whole neighborhood out! Come on, Elizabeth! I just want to talk to you!
He starts knocking again.
ELIZABETH
Stop that.
(He continues)
Stop that!!
(He continues)
All right! Damn it!
She unhooks the chain, opens the door and Richard comes in. Elizabeth goes to the far end of the room as if he were poison.
RICHARD
Well, I’m happy to see you, too.
ELIZABETH
What do you want, Richard?
RICHARD
I want you to stop following me around.
ELIZABETH
What?
RICHARD
I wake up in the morning and there you are. I try to sleep at night and you’re there again. It’s like I’m breathing you in!
ELIZABETH
What do you want me to say?
RICHARD
That you’re experiencing the same thing.
ELIZABETH
I can’t.
RICHARD
Why?
ELIZABETH
You know why.
RICHARD
My God, Elizabeth, this arbitrary line you’ve drawn! Don’t you know that even if we never touched again, you couldn’t erase what happened between us?
ELIZABETH
Maybe not. But I can try to return to some semblance of reason. One kiss is a mistake, taking it further would be a choice.
RICHARD
That’s a strange ethics.
ELIZABETH
It’s a strange situation.
RICHARD
(beat)
I’ll quit the program. then.
ELIZABETH
No.
RICHARD
I can… find another school.
ELIZABETH
You know that will be near impossible. Two transfers in one year?
RICHARD
I’m sure I can find some place that will take me.
ELIZABETH
Somewhere substandard. I will not allow you to do that. Not with the mind you have.
He moves closer.
RICHARD
Then allow me to stay.
ELIZABETH
No.
RICHARD
Who will know? We will be careful.
ELIZABETH
I will know.
RICHARD
This is absurd.
ELIZABETH
No, it just is what it is.
A beat. Then Richard comes closer still.
RICHARD
You’re right. And what it is… is this.
Richard leans in and kisses her. She accepts the kiss for a moment before pulling away and moving to the other side of the room. She turns away.
Richard comes up behind her and whispers to her.
RICHARD
This isn’t a mistake. And it’s not an aberration. You know it as well as I do.
He turns her around to face him. Her resistance is gone. He kisses her and she succumbs. They move together toward the bedroom.
-
Dale’s Act 3 Middle Scenes (Key Scenes 2 & 3)
-Makes a New Plan: She puts into effect the new plan of avoiding Richard in any situation where they might be alone – keeping everything very professional. She also tells Barbara about what happened, enlisting her help.
-Things seem to be okay, but… when she meets with Barbara asserting the rightness of her plan of personal distance and professional only contact, Barbara starts try to discover why Elizabeth kissed Richard and what her true feelings towards him might be.
OUTLINE OF KEY SCENES 2 & 3
Scene 2: Montage (Makes a New Plan)
OUTLINE:
MONTAGE:
Beginning: We see Elizabeth in her lecture hall, seeing Richard surrounded by female students and feeling jealous, despite herself. But, using her new plan, she makes sure not to be caught alone as she’s leaving the class, so Richard can’t approach her.
Middle: In the faculty lounge, she makes sure and leaves there when she sees Richard arriving. Richard comes to her office only to find it locked.
End: Richard receives a group email from Elizabeth which is quick and efficient.
Scene 3 (Things Seem to be Okay, But…)
INT. RESTAURANT – DAY
Beginning: Barbara and Elizabeth meet for Sunday brunch. Barbara takes a plateful, but Elizabeth has very little food on hers. Barbara asks her what’s wrong
Middle: After much hesitation, Elizabeth finally confesses what happened with Richard, but says she’s going to avoid him, only deal with him professionally.
End: But Barbara questions her as to her real feelings, and questions the feasibility of her plan.
DRAFT OF SCENES 2 & 3
MONTAGE – VARIOUS LOCATIONS:
A) Elizabeth’s Lecture Hall – Elizabeth watches Richard at the back of her class as she goes to the podium. He is surrounded by female students who fawn over him. Despite herself, there is a stricken look on her face.
B) Elizabeth’s Lecture Hall – her classroom is filing out, she makes sure to walk out with a student at the moment Richard is leaving, so he can’t engage her.
C) Faculty Lounge – Elizabeth sees Richard heading for the lounge. She says goodbye to colleagues and gets out of there before he can arrive.
D) Richard knocks on Elizabeth’s office door. No answer. He tries the door. It is locked. He looks at his watch, surprised.
E) Richard reads a memo on his computer addressed to multiple names that reads: Philosophy Dept meeting at 3:00PM Friday, in Classroom 201 for all TA’s. Please be prompt. He shakes his head at this formality.
INT. RESTAURANT – DAY
Barbara and Elizabeth are at a Sunday brunch. They are bringing their plates back to the table. Barbara’s is full to overflowing. Elizabeth seems to have taken very little.
BARBARA
This all-you-can-eat situation is a deal with the devil.
ELIZABETH
Hmm?
BARBARA
I mean, really, would I ever, under normal circumstances stuff myself silly like I do here? All because I paid a set fee!
ELIZABETH
Well, that’s what Sunday brunch is all about.
BARBARA
I suppose. But you don’t seem to have gone overboard. In fact, you’re barely eating!
ELIZABETH
I don’t have that much of an appetite today.
BARBARA
Why is that?
ELIZABETH
(lost in thought)
Hmmm?
BARBARA
Earth to Elizabeth.
ELIZABETH
What? Oh sorry.
BARBARA
Where is your head at?
ELIZABETH
Clearly not here. Please…tell me the newest campus gossip.
BARBARA
You usually hate gossip.
ELIZABETH
It’ll distract me.
BARBARA
From what?
ELIZABETH
Nothing.
BARBARA
Nothing? Come on, Liz, you’ve been acting weird all week.
ELIZABETH
I have?
BARBARA
Yes.
ELIZABETH
Has anyone else noticed?
BARBARA
I don’t know. Does that matter?
Elizabeth doesn’t answer.
BARBARA
Okay, girlfriend. Spill.
ELIZABETH
I’m not sure I should.
BARBARA
Oh my God, now you really have to tell me.
Elizabeth looks around the room and lowers her voice:
ELIZABETH
Richard Amado kissed me.
BARBARA
What?!
ELIZABETH
Shh!
BARBARA
(more quietly)
Your TA kissed you?
ELIZABETH
Yes, but worse… I kissed him back.
BARBARA
Holy shit.
ELIZABETH
I know.
BARBARA
Well what happened next?
ELIZABETH
What do you think? I kicked him out.
BARBARA
Jesus. So what are you doing about this?
ELIZABETH
I told him it was some temporary infatuation and we had to take it no further. Keep things professional
BARBARA
You believe you can do that?
ELIZABETH
Yes, absolutely.
BARBARA
Well, you know, if you weren’t in an advisory position…
ELIZABETH
With our program, I never will be! No, we just have to move beyond this. I lost my senses for a moment…
BARBARA
No, for anyone else, that’s losing one’s senses, for you, it’s a dive off a precipice. That must mean… do you love him?
ELIZABETH
He’s 14 years younger that me!
BARBARA
That shouldn’t matter. Besides, he’s 30. That’s grown ass man.
ELIZABETH
He’s in love with an image of me. It’s not real!
BARBARA
That didn’t answer my question.
ELIZABETH
I’ve just fallen into the same damn trap as professors before me have. A brilliant and attractive young student, an opportunity… What a hypocrite!
BARBARA
Or a woman in love.
ELIZABETH
Please, do not call it that. We both are suffering from an aberration and the sooner we move on the better.
BARBARA
Well… good luck with that.
She looks at Elizabeth’s plate.
BARBARA
Are you doing to eat that potato?
ELIZABETH
No, have at it.
BARBARA
I will.
And she digs in.
-
Dale’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is… in how my character, who has acted most uncharacteristically, scrambles for a new plan to make everything right again (though it won’t work.)OUTLINE OF REACT/RETHINK SCENE:
Beginning: Richard catches Elizabeth just as she’s about to leave for the day.
Middle: He tries to persuade her to take their kiss seriously and she gives him all the reasons, both university regulations and rational ones, why it can’t go further.
End: She lets him know that they will only have necessary contact until this all “fades,” as she says, “all things of the heart fade. He sees she isn’t budging and he leaves.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE ELIZABETH’S OFFICE
Richard arrives at Elizabeth’s office. He finds her locking her door, ready to leave.
RICHARD
Leaving?
ELIZABETH
Richard… I–
RICHARD
Don’t you think we should talk?
ELIZABETH
There’s nothing to talk about.
RICHARD
Really? It seems to me there is. You may have kicked me out, but you sure as hell kissed me before you did.
ELIZABETH
(looking around)
Shh! Keep your voice down.
RICHARD
Please, just let’s just… discuss this, rationally, before you go running off.
ELIZABETH
(hesitating, then…)
All right. Fine. Come inside.
INT. ELIZABETH’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
Richard starts to take a seat.
ELIZABETH
Don’t– sit down. You won’t be here that long. …Just say what you have to say.
RICHARD
Okay, are you planning… to just ignore what happened.
ELIZABETH
I think that would be best, yes.
RICHARD
But if we have feelings…
ELIZABETH
No. What we have is an infatuation. Which will pass. Which has to pass.
RICHARD
Why?
ELIZABETH
Come on. You know the university rules as well as I do.
RICHARD
Yeah but with graduate students… as long as you don’t have an advisory role…
ELIZABETH
And how do you think that’s going to happen? Even if I switch your TA-ship to another professor, this is a small department, Richard! You’re going to be in one of my seminars next semester. And you’ll need me to evaluate your proposition, or serve on your Ph.D. committee.
RICHARD
What are you suggesting we do?
ELIZABETH
We do nothing. Keep our contact to a minimum. Communicate by written word only.
RICHARD
For how long?
ELIZABETH
For as long as necessary.
RICHARD
But that could be for years!
ELIZABETH
No. I expect it will be far less. The truth is, Richard, it will fade. Like all things of the heart fade. You only have to wait it out.
RICHARD
You believe that?
ELIZABETH
I know it. Once we move past this little emotional aberration, we will be able to have a normal working relationship again. I would hate to give that up.
RICHARD
Aberration? Is that what you call it?
ELIZABETH
I know you’d rather not think of it that way, but that’s–
RICHARD
I think I love you!
ELIZABETH
No, do not say that! Can’t you see what this is?
RICHARD
No. What?
ELIZABETH
You came to this college already admiring me. Is it such a leap that once we started spending time together your admiration grew into attraction?
RICHARD
That’s exactly what happened!
ELIZABETH
Well, do you really think you’re the only student to experience that? Come on, it’s practically textbook.
RICHARD
Well what about you, then? Why did you kiss me back?
ELIZABETH
Ah well, that’s another cliche. Recently divorced woman. Feeling unusually vulnerable…
RICHARD
You can’t reduce us to these stereotypes.
ELIZABETH
I can if they fit. Now if you don’t mind…
She motions to the door.
RICHARD
Elizabeth.
ELIZABETH
My mind is made up.
He looks at her, and sees that clearly this is true. He opens the door and leaves.
Once he’s gone, she finds herself leaning a bit unsteadily against her desk. But she revives, squares her shoulders and walks out of her office, resolute.
-
Dale has completed Act 2 draft1
What I learned doing this assignment is how to figure out which scenes belong more in Act 2 than Act 3, based on the other key scenes in the act.
A scene where Elizabeth invites Marshall to her home ostensibly because she found the book, but really to ask why he left her.
A scene where Sarah, one of Richard’s students, comes to his office hours, and flirts with Richard. He rebuffs her, and makes the lines clear.
A scene where Philip remarks on how much “the boy wonder,” (Richard) admires Elizabeth.
OUTLINES OF OTHER SCENES IN ACT 2:
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – EVENING
Beginning: Marshall arrives at Elizabeth’s home because she found his book.
Middle: This was only an excuse because, troubled by some of the feelings she’s been starting to have – she wants to know why Marshall left.
End: After he tells her it was because he couldn’t live at her level, he leaves
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S OFFICE – DAY
Beginning: Sarah, one of Richard’s students, knocks and comes in
Middle: Supposedly there to discuss philosophy, she actually talks about the immaturity of boys her age, and how someone like Richard has more to offer
End: Richard, realizing this is going in an inappropriate direction, ends the meeting
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
Beginning: Philip asks Elizabeth how it’s going with the “boy wonder”
Middle: She explains that he’s unorthodox but maybe that’s a good thing
End: Philip expresses surprise at this (coming from Elizabeth!), and warns that this unorthodoxy could blow someone off course.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – EVENING
Elizabeth is at her desk. We hear the doorbell ring. She goes to answer. Marshall stands there.
ELIZABETH
Hello, thanks for coming.
MARSHALL
(entering)
Sure. So what’s going on?
ELIZABETH
I found your book.
MARSHALL
My book?
ELIZABETH
Challenges of Synthetic Chemistry? It really was here.
MARSHALL
I told you.
ELIZABETH
Yes, but it did sound like an excuse.
MARSHALL
Well… that too.
(smiles)
Hey, what do you expect? Impending fatherhood, and all that. I guess there was this part of me thought: What the hell am I doing? Made me want to… well, you do have a very… Elizabeth way about you. Clarity. It’s something I missed. Of course, that day, I’m not quite sure I was prepared for that much clarity.
ELIZABETH
I’m sorry. I rather bit your head off, didn’t I?
MARSHALL
Yes. But, I had it coming…
They look at each other a moment.
ELIZABETH
Well, anyway… here’s the book. If you still need it.
MARSHALL
(He takes the book)
Thank you.
Marshall starts to leave…
ELIZABETH
Marshall?
He turns back to her.
(suddenly)
Why did you leave?
MARSHALL
What?
ELIZABETH
Why did you leave me?
MARSHALL
We’ve been through this.
ELIZABETH
No, we haven’t. Not really. And lately, this question has been plaguing me.
MARSHALL
I met Mara.
ELIZABETH
No, I think it started long before that. Mara was the result, not the cause.
MARSHALL
Well I… I don’t know… we just… it’s hard to put into words. I guess I’d have to say that I was…
(beat, sighs)
…exhausted!
ELIZABETH
Exhausted.
MARSHALL
What I mean is… The level at which you live! The intellectual level, the level of commitment, perfectionism, I envied it, and I hated it! Because I love my work and everything, but… Jesus, sometimes, I’m happy to just let it go, watch some drivel on TV, go toss down some beers at a hockey game. I don’t need to be intellectually on at all moments, you know? But anyone who’s married to you… has to live where you live or perish!
ELIZABETH
(taking this in)
I see.
MARSHALL
I’m sorry, Elizabeth.
ELIZABETH
I asked.
(beat)
And when did you realize this?
MARSHALL
I’m not sure. I only know that when I spent time with Mara, I felt like… well, I was off the hook. I could be imperfect as hell, and she’d love me anyway.
ELIZABETH
And my love felt… like something you had to live up to.
MARSHALL
…I’m afraid so. Yes.
Elizabeth is silent for a moment.
ELIZABETH
I appreciate you being honest with me.
MARSHALL
Sure.
(beat)
Well. Uh… Thanks again… for the book.
ELIZABETH
(her thoughts far away)
Uh huh.
He goes to the door, turns and looks at her, somewhat bemused.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S OFFICE – DAY
A tap on Richard’s door.
RICHARD
Come in.
Sarah comes in.
RICHARD
Hello Sarah, what can I help you with?
SARAH
Well I…
RICHARD
Please take a seat.
SARAH
Okay.
RICHARD
Do you have a question about this week’s material?
SARAH
In a way, yes.
RICHARD
All right. Shoot!
SARAH
Well I was curious about… well about Pascal saying the heart has its reasons…
RICHARD
Yes?
SARAH
I mean does it? Can we really trust the heart?
RICHARD
Well that’s a key question, isn’t it?
SARAH
I mean, I gave my heart to Carl, and honestly, he just spit on it.
RICHARD
I’m sorry to hear that, Sarah.
SARAH
I’m beginning to think, well, boys my age, they’re just too immature.
RICHARD
Uh huh?
SARAH
I mean, someone like you, you know, who’s older, had some real life experience, you know…
RICHARD
Uh huh…?
SARAH
Why can’t I fall in love with someone like you.
RICHARD
Well, really, Sarah, this is beyond the domain of philosophy…
SARAH
Yes, but you said philosophy connects to everything in our lives…
RICHARD
Yes, but…
SARAH
I mean, honestly, would a man like you find someone like me attractive?
RICHARD
Sarah…
SARAH
I’m just curious.
RICHARD
Curiosity aside, this is not an appropriate conversation for us to be having.
SARAH
Why?
Richard stands up, opens the door to let Sarah know the meeting is over.
RICHARD
Feel free to come back when you have specific questions about the materials we are studying.
SARAH
But I…
Richard remains standing, silent, but nods at the open door.
Sarah gets up.
SARAH
Oh, Ok.
She is disgruntled as she walks out the door. He closes it behind her and sits down, shaking his head, bemused, and a little worried.
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
Elizabeth is seated, preparing lecture notes and nursing a cup of coffee. Philip enters the lounge, and sees her.
PHILIP
Morning.
ELIZABETH
Morning.
PHILIP
So how’s it coming along with the boy wonder?
ELIZABETH
Who?
PHILIP
Richard Amado.
ELIZABETH
Oh. Well… I think we’re making progress.
PHILIP
Yes, he seems quite taken with you.
ELIZABETH
What do you mean?
PHILIP
Well, we were having a conference about his newest paper, which, by the way, was one of the more creative approaches I have seen to the topic of personal identity.
ELIZABETH
I can only imagine.
PHILIP
And he kept interrupting my pearls of wisdom with: “Dr. Drewer says this” and “Dr. Drewer says that.”
ELIZABETH
Did he?
PHILIP
Yes. Without any trace of envy, I must remark, Elizabeth, that his admiration for you is a little excessive. As far as he’s concerned, you’re philosophy incarnate.
ELIZABETH
(clearly pleased)
Well, he’s… young. He’s impressionable.
PHILIP
Yes, well, nevertheless, I find it all rather surprising, given how remarkably unorthodox a thinker this young man is.
ELIZABETH
And I, by implication, am not?
PHILIP
Well, certainly you’re an innovative thinker, and a rigorous one, but unorthodox? No.
ELIZABETH
Thank you very much.
PHILIP
You’ve never laid claim to that territory before, why do it now?
ELIZABETH
I think unorthodoxy is a good thing for philosophy, in proper measure.
PHILIP
Really?
ELIZABETH
Yes. So Richard is a bit… spirited. This department could use a little spirit.
PHILIP
Do I hear a little veiled admiration for the boy wonder?
ELIZABETH
I wish you’d stop calling him that. And yes, I consider him a whiff of fresh air.
PHILIP
Well, as long as that whiff doesn’t blow anyone too far off course.
-
Dale’s Act 2 TP – Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is how the midpoint changes everything and yet the overall journey is the same.
What changes everything is when Richard turns up at Elizabeth’s home, ostensibly to review final student grades, but really to declare his feelings to Elizabeth. He kisses her. Despite herself, she kisses him back. She then kicks him out!
OUTLINE OF MIDPOINT:
INT. ELIZABETH’S HOME – EVENING
Beginning: Richard arrives at Elizabeth’s home, ostensibly to get help on grading a couple of midterms.
Middle: Richard keeps watching Elizabeth while she works, making her increasingly uncomfortable.
End: Richard admits to having feelings for her and asking if she shares them. He kisses her and although she resists at first, she kisses him back, then, shocked at herself, kicks him out!
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – EVENING
Elizabeth is on her couch, reading. She is barefoot, and dressed in casual pants, her blouse pulled out, her hair loose. The doorbell rings. She looks surprised. She goes to answer it, keeping the chain on. It is Richard.
ELIZABETH
(through the chain)
Richard. What are you doing here?
EXT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – FRONT DOOR – CONTINUOUS
RICHARD
(through the chain)
I’m sorry, professor, am I disturbing you?
INTERCUT BETWEEN ELIZABETH AND RICHARD
ELIZABETH
Well… Can I help you?
RICHARD
I had some questions about a couple of the midterms…
ELIZABETH
But Richard! You don’t just go turning up at my door when you–
RICHARD
Yes, I know! But I promised I’d hand them back over a week ago.
ELIZABETH
This should have been handled on campus.
RICHARD
I agree! It’s just… every time I’ve stopped you at school, you’ve been rushing off to something! I’m afraid the natives are getting
restless.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – ENTRY WAY – CONTINUOUS
Elizabeth thinks for a moment. Then she pulls off the chain and opens the door.
ELIZABETH
You’re right, I have been a bit… Come in then.
He comes in.
ELIZABETH
But I would ask you not to make a habit of this!
RICHARD
I won’t. I promise.
ELIZABETH
Why don’t you show me what you have.
RICHARD
Okay.
He pulls two blue books out of his briefcase and gives them to Elizabeth.
RICHARD
These two exams are on the border. I keep going back and forth with them. My latest grade is written on the top in pencil. My comments are on the inside cover.
ELIZABETH
All right.
Elizabeth sits on the couch and begins to read. Richard goes to stand behind the couch and starts to read over her shoulder. This makes Elizabeth nervous.
ELIZABETH
I’m sorry, could you please…
RICHARD
Oh. Sorry.
He wanders around a bit, and ends up browsing through books in her bookshelves.
RICHARD
Wow. You have quite a collection of Borges here. He’s my favorite.
ELIZABETH
Hmm?
RICHARD
Jorge Luis Borges.
ELIZABETH
Oh, yes. He’s extraordinary.
RICHARD
Did you know he was using many worlds theory in his story: “The Garden of Forking Paths?”
ELIZABETH
Yes, I realized that.
There is a beat. Elizabeth goes back to reading blue books, and Richard keeps perusing the shelves. He pulls out a book and opens the inside cover.
RICHARD
Oh my God. You’ve got a first edition of Sartre’s The Age of Reason! Where did you get it?
ELIZABETH
On sabbatical in France. I had to do some real dickering.
RICHARD
I imagine!
He spots another.
RICHARD
Oh, and look…!
ELIZABETH
Richard. If you bring up every interesting book in my bookshelf, we will be here all night.
RICHARD
Oh, right, sorry.
He sits down on an armchair. Elizabeth continues reading. Richard starts making little clicking noises, to pass the time. She looks up.
ELIZABETH
I have an idea. Why don’t you just leave these with me. I promise I’ll get them back to you by tomorrow.
RICHARD
That’s okay. I have nowhere to be.
ELIZABETH
It’s a little distracting.
RICHARD
I’ll be quiet as a mouse, I swear.
ELIZABETH
…All right.
Reluctantly, Elizabeth goes back to work. After a while, though, Richard starts to watch her. She can feel it.
ELIZABETH
Excuse me, but… why are you doing that?
RICHARD
Doing what?
ELIZABETH
Watching me.
RICHARD
Am I watching you?
ELIZABETH
You know you are.
RICHARD
Oh, sorry. It’s just… just because…
ELIZABETH
Because what?
RICHARD
I don’t know… I like to watch you work.
ELIZABETH
Well, I won’t be able to work, if you watch me.
RICHARD
Right. If I watch you work, you can’t work and if you can’t work, I can’t watch you working. Hah, circular argument!
ELIZABETH
Richard.
RICHARD
Yes, okay, shut up.
She goes back to working. Richard starts to look around him again. But before long, he is contemplating her once more, his face growing intent. Elizabeth looks up.
ELIZABETH
All right. Enough!
RICHARD
…I’m sorry. It’s just… being here. Where you live. Among your books. And then, watching you… It just emanates from you… You are so… beautiful.
Elizabeth quickly closes the blue book and gets up.
RICHARD (CONT’D)
I shouldn’t have said that.
ELIZABETH
No.
RICHARD
But you wanted to know.
ELIZABETH
I think you’d better go.
RICHARD
But why?
ELIZABETH
Because there are very clear lines between professors and TA’s.
RICHARD
I gave you a compliment, is that so wrong?
ELIZABETH
You’re telling me that’s all it meant?
RICHARD
(beat, then)
…No.
ELIZABETH
Then, you really have to leave.
RICHARD
Please, Professor… Elizabeth…
ELIZABETH
No.
RICHARD
All right! …But would you answer me this. Is it my imagination that something’s been happening between us?
ELIZABETH
Please, Richard, I am asking you to go.
He moves towards her…
RICHARD
You do feel something, don’t you? I can tell that you do!
ELIZABETH
Please…!
Closer still…
RICHARD
I don’t usually go these places by myself.
ELIZABETH
Richard…!
He has arrived.
He leans in to kiss her. She retreats. But as he moves in to kiss her again, she allows it, and even begins to return it. But then, suddenly she pulls away, shocked at herself.
ELIZABETH
Oh my God.
RICHARD
Elizabeth.
ELIZABETH
I can’t believe I… This is… This is not…!
She starts gathering up his bluebooks and shoves them at him.
ELIZABETH
You have to go.
RICHARD
Elizabeth.
ELIZABETH
No. Now. Go!
Richard realizes she means it, and, looking at her one more time, he goes out the front door.
Elizabeth leans against the door, shaken.
-
Dale’s Act 2 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is: the second scene I called a “reaction” scene in Lesson 12, actually belongs here, as the “takes on a plan” key scene 2. So…
Key Scene 2: Her plan is to prove she can work with Richard in a professional manner with the personal kept out. Scene with Richard, going over a student paper, and this scene turning into a type of flirtation, despite Liz feeling like she had been running the meeting. (Old ways not working.)
Key Scene 3: While at an off-campus coffee shop, Richard joins her at her table and their casual conversation turns into stories of their parents and younger years, which again, despite Elizabeth’s intentions to the contrary, re-enforces a growing intimacy.
Outlines, Sc. 2 & 3:
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – ELIZABETH’S OFFICE – DAY
Beginning: Elizabeth starts to review Richard’s grades on student papers, expressing surprise at his mostly rational choices.
Middle: But she has issues with a student who argues for solipsism – a paradoxical statement.
End: Talk of solipsism leads into a more personal connection between this idea and how Richard views Elizabeth.
INT. LOCAL COFFEE HOUSE – AFTERNOON
Beginning: Richard comes in and asks, since there are no other seats, if he can sit with Elizabeth. She agrees, a bit reluctantly
Middle: They launch into a discussion which includes talking about their parents and what they meant to them. Much warmth and connection between them.
End: Barbara comes in, “discovers” them in deep conversation. They immediately draw apart, sensing somehow the wrongness they are feeling. When he leaves, Barbara casually comments on Richard’s sexiness – something Elizabeth balks at.
DRAFT OF Sc. 2 & 3:
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – ELIZABETH’S OFFICE – DAY
RICHARD is sitting in a chair, while Elizabeth looks over some student papers.
ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
First of all, I think it’s important you understand why I decided to review your grades on these first papers. Given our… differences in style, I wanted to make sure when it came to grades we were essentially on the same page.
RICHARD
And?
ELIZABETH
And… I admit, by in large, you’ve made some very rational choices.
RICHARD
I am capable of rationality.
ELIZABETH
That’s not what I meant.
RICHARD
No? You always look at me as if I’m about to plunge off a cliff.
ELIZABETH
Do I? Well, it’s natural, you’re young. But it’s my job to reach out a hand and grab you whenever I think you’re too close to the edge.
RICHARD
What if you go over too?
ELIZABETH
(beat)
Don’t worry, I won’t.
(beat)
Now. I said, by in large, you made good choices. But we’re going to need to discuss this one. Annabelle Crioli.
RICHARD
Oh, yeah. Isn’t she something?
ELIZABETH
She’s something all right, but I’m not sure you should be encouraging her. My God, Richard, solipsism. She argued for solipsism in Descartes’s Cogito? Solipsism is the quagmire of philosophical thought. It’s the trap to avoid, not the place to purposely head!
RICHARD
To me, it’s one of the most fascinating ideas in philosophy!
ELIZABETH
Why doesn’t that surprise me. …Richard! Even you would have to admit, once you get stuck in solipsism, there’s no way out!
RICHARD
But that doesn’t mean it isn’t true!
ELIZABETH
Nor does it mean it is. Which is precisely why it’s paradoxical!
RICHARD
I know! That’s what’s so cool about it! Here I am sitting in the office of Elizabeth Drewer. Thinking I’m having a conversation with a living, breathing, very intelligent woman. But what if my mind is actually the only consciousness that exists and you are only a projection of my imagination!
ELIZABETH
What if I am? You can’t know it, can you? Because the world would appear exactly the same, figment of your imagination or not.
RICHARD
I know it would appear that way, but would the world of solipsism really be identical to that of independent consciousness? I mean even if I couldn’t prove Elizabeth Drewer exists, whether she does or doesn’t isn’t the same!
ELIZABETH
It is, rationally speaking.
RICHARD
Well, certainly not emotionally speaking! I’d kind of prefer to think you’re real.
ELIZABETH
Well, I am then, aren’t I?
RICHARD
Not if you’re just an image in my head, saying that!
ELIZABETH
But that’s what I would say, wouldn’t I? Projection or not. You embrace solipsism and you just end up chasing your tail.
RICHARD
That’s how it is with paradox! But if you dwell within paradox long enough, it begins to yield new insight.
ELIZABETH
How very Zen of you. But that’s a particularly subtle view. And it’s a view that’s well beyond Ms. Crioli.
There is silence. Then Richard smiles.
ELIZABETH
What?
RICHARD
Nothing. This is great, that’s all!
ELIZABETH
What is?
RICHARD
This. Discussion. Dissension. Dissection. And all with Elizabeth Drewer! I… well, I imagined us doing this. Picking apart some grand philosophical question.
ELIZABETH
Did you?
RICHARD
Yeah! Although, of course, in my imagination you always found me brilliant.
ELIZABETH
There you are, solipsism!
RICHARD
No, no. Forget solipsism! I happen to know Elizabeth Drewer is real.
ELIZABETH
Do you? And how’s that?
RICHARD
Well, because! Excuse me for saying this, but… the figment doesn’t hold a candle to the real thing!
He smiles at her, disarmingly. She is both charmed and troubled by this.
INT. LOCAL COFFEE HOUSE – AFTERNOON
Elizabeth is seated, waiting. Richard walks by, coffee and scone in hand, sees Elizabeth.
RICHARD
Hello, Professor. Are you alone?
ELIZABETH
Uh… well, …I’m waiting for Professor Biden
RICHARD
Do you mind if I sit here until she arrives?
Elizabeth hesitates.
RICHARD
There don’t appear to be any other tables.
ELIZABETH
Oh. Well, yes, sure, why not.
Richard sits down.
RICHARD
It seems strange to see you… outside the four walls of Wittaker Hall.
ELIZABETH
It’s a rare sighting, I assure you.
RICHARD
That only means you love your work.
ELIZABETH
Some people might call it obsession.
RICHARD
I think it’s jealousy, actually. The way people who don’t have an all-consuming passion seem to resent those who do. I’m told all the time that I’m too intense! When maybe they’re the ones who aren’t intense enough! Take my ex-girlfriend, for example. She kept trying to get me to go out to more parties! Give me a good blues concert, I’m there! Give me a salsa club, I’ll dance till 4:00. But put me in a room with a bunch of people, most of whom won’t rub two thoughts together to make an idea, I’m ready to jump out of my skin!
ELIZABETH
I know that feeling. Even in academia…
RICHARD
Professors who just go through the motions.
ELIZABETH
Right.
RICHARD
(beat)
Your…ex-husband…
(off her look)
I heard you were divorced. Is he a professor, as well?
ELIZABETH
Of chemistry, yes. At another institution.
RICHARD
Oh. So… that other Professor Drewer I’ve heard about here…
ELIZABETH
That would be my father.
RICHARD
Your father. Is he still teaching?
ELIZABETH
No, he… died. Two years ago.
RICHARD
I’m sorry.
ELIZABETH
But he taught right up until the end.
RICHARD
What was his field?
ELIZABETH
Classics. He was the one who first taught me the Socratic Method.
RICHARD
Really?
ELIZABETH
Yeah. A schoolgirl’s primer for dialectical argumentation! And he was tough! He wouldn’t let me get away with a single frivolous statement.
RICHARD
How do you mean?
ELIZABETH
Well, for example, when I was young, I couldn’t say something like: “Wanda Peterson hates my guts!” My father would instantly pounce: “Why do you think Wanda hates you?” “Because she said she did!” “And do you believe everything someone says?” “…Yeah.” “Do you believe your mother when she says she’ll never have another cigarette?””Well, no.” “And do you believe your cousin, Tommy, who says he has never stolen a candy bar from Brewster’s Market?” “Of course not, but–” “Then it follows you should not make the assumption that Wanda Peterson hates you simply because she says she does.”
RICHARD
Whoa.
ELIZABETH
I know. He’d back me like that into a corner and just leave me dangling. Though by the time I was maybe, thirteen, it wasn’t so easy to get me in that corner. And by college, I could head him off at every turn and force him into a stalemate. But, I’ll tell you, when the day came that I backed him into a corner, you should have seen the pride in his eyes.
(smiles)
I guess you’d have to say I was trained by a master.
RICHARD
It sounds like you loved him a lot.
ELIZABETH
I did. …And I miss him every day.
A beat. They smile at each other.
ELIZABETH
And you? Are you close to your father?
RICHARD
Oh, …I never really knew him. I was… unexpected.
ELIZABETH
Oh.
RICHARD
He and Mom had just broken up when she found out, and since he was moving away, she decided to… just not tell him.
ELIZABETH
I see.
RICHARD
He was the earnest type, she said. He would have insisted on marriage and they would have both been miserable. Which was a pretty outlandish thing to do, for a Latina back then, brought up to be a good Catholic girl, but she was never one to play by the rules.
ELIZABETH
Like her son.
RICHARD
Yeah! …Mom’s great. She’s a real reader, for one thing, she instilled that in me. And she worked like crazy getting me my education.
ELIZABETH
Bless her for that.
RICHARD
But I was always curious about my Dad. So one day, when I was in high school, I went to the city where I knew he lived, and I looked him up.
ELIZABETH
Really?
RICHARD
I slipped into the back of the inner city class where my father, el Señor Luis Gonzales was teaching. I saw he was putting his earnestness to good use. I slipped out again without exchanging two words with him.
ELIZABETH
You didn’t want to talk to him?
RICHARD
Of course. But I also didn’t want to disrupt his life. …What’s odd is I had thought that finding my dad would answer the question of who I was. But all it answered was the genetic part, not the soul part.
ELIZABETH
So how did you try to answer that?
RICHARD
By hitting the road, mostly. After high school, I took some time off. I started with my grandparents’ town in Jalisco. I immersed myself in Mexican mythology, magic realism, poetry. I guess you could say I was listening to the call of my blood. Then I spent the next few years traveling all through the Middle East and Asia. Worked at manual labor jobs. Climbed to the top of Mt. Fuji. Lived in an Ashram. Witnessed the whirling dervishes in Turkey.
ELIZABETH
My!
RICHARD
Amazing, how through the rhythms of the body, they were touching the world of spirit.
ELIZABETH
…My God, Richard, you’re a mystic.
RICHARD
Yes, I suppose in some ways I am.
ELIZABETH
So why not religious studies?
RICHARD
Are you kidding? Since I view most established religions as an institutional excuse for destroying the mysticism at their core, well… you can imagine, I would have been even more a thorn in their side than yours.
ELIZABETH
You’re not a thorn in my side.
He smiles at her.
ELIZABETH
Well, maybe a minor thistle.
They laugh, exchanging a conspiratorial look, as if sharing a secret. As they continue to look into each others’ eyes…
Barbara walks into the coffee shop and looks around. She spots them and comes up to them.
BARBARA
Hello! Sorry I’m so late!
Almost guiltily, Elizabeth and Richard draw apart.
BARBARA
Mr. Amado. And how are you?
Richard jumps up and motions Barbara to sit down.
RICHARD
Fine, Professor Biden. I’ve been… keeping your seat warm for you.
BARBARA
Why thank you, young man.
RICHARD
Uh, I’d better get going. 3:00 meeting with Jimmy Buck. Adios señoras!
He leaves. Barbara watches him go.
BARBARA
Mmmm. Mmmm. Mmmm! I wouldn’t kick that one out of bed!
ELIZABETH
Barbara!
BARBARA
What? …You telling me you don’t find him attractive?
ELIZABETH
Well, I…! He’s… my TA, for God’s sake! He’s a boy!
BARBARA
He’s twenty-nine, that’s a grown-ass man. And none of those things would keep me from fantasizing, I can assure you.
ELIZABETH
Well, luckily, I am not you!
BARBARA
No, you’re not. More’s the pity.
-
Dale’s Act 2 Reaction to TP
What I learned from this assignment is how to look at a scene as a “reaction to” a previous key scene.
KEY SCENE 1: REACTION TO THE TURNING POINT:
If the turning point is the first glimmer of an attraction, Elizabeth’s natural reaction to that will be denial and a certainty that she is still in control. So two scenes will show this. One with Philip where they talk about Richard and she says she is “handling” him and another scene with Richard, going over a student paper, and this scene turning into a type of flirtation, despite Liz feeling like she’s running the meeting.
INT. FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
Beginning: Philip joins Elizabeth at her table, makes “nice.”
Middle: They discuss Richard and his renegade style
End: Elizabeth assures Philip she has him in hand. Philip is not entirely convinced.
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – ELIZABETH’S OFFICE – DAY
Beginning: Elizabeth starts to review Richard’s grades on student papers, expressing surprise at his mostly rational choices.
Middle: But she has issues with a student who argues for solipsism – a paradoxical statement.
End: Talk of solipsism leads into a more personal connection between this idea and how Richard views Elizabeth.
INT. FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
Elizabeth pours herself a cup of coffee, and takes it over to a table. Philip enters the lounge. He sees Elizabeth and approaches her.
PHILIP
Hello, Elizabeth. Mind if I…
He indicates the empty chair at her table.
ELIZABETH
Go ahead.
PHILIP
Listen, I know our last encounter was a little… fraught.
ELIZABETH
You could say so.
PHILIP
For an ol’ Sophist like myself, choices can get quite blurry. But not for you the world of relativism, hmm?
ELIZABETH
I believe that may be one of the things bringing society down as a whole.
PHILIP
Ah, well, there, you see! You need only pity us poor slobs riding that particular mudslide…
ELIZABETH
Philip…
PHILIP
It’s okay. Actually, I envy you, Elizabeth. Things are so very clear to you. They haven’t been like that for me for a long time.
(beat)
Anyway… no lingering hard feelings, huh?
He reaches out his hand. Elizabeth takes it.
ELIZABETH
None.
PHILIP
Good. Because I suspect, actually, that we’re going to be seeing a good deal more of each other.
ELIZABETH
Really? Why’s that?
PHILIP
You’re Richard Amado’s advisor, aren’t you?
ELIZABETH
Yes.
PHILIP
Well, he’s quite taken to my Philosophy of Mind seminar. He’s already asked me to be one of his readers next year for his third year proposition. And your being his advisor, I assume you’ll be occupying the other slot.
ELIZABETH
Yes, I see what you mean. And we’ll both probably be on his Ph.D. committee.
PHILIP
So I figure, best to put our differences behind us and rally around this young man.
ELIZABETH
How very grown up of you, Philip.
PHILIP
I live to surprise. But I must say… our Richard Amado, he’s quite the pistol, isn’t he?
In my seminar he’s been combating materialism with quantum mechanics!
ELIZABETH
Yes, it’s one of his favorite topics!
PHILIP
And I don’t know a damn thing about quantum mechanics!
ELIZABETH
Well, from what I understand of it, there is some degree of relevancy. But it’s still quite a stretch.
PHILIP
Not, apparently, for Richard! What about you? How’s he working out as a TA? I can’t imagine he’s taking a direct stab at the syllabus.
ELIZABETH
Well, he has been… presenting the material rather unconventionally.
PHILIP
Why do I suspect that’s an understatement.
ELIZABETH
Not to worry. I had a talk with him.
PHILIP
Did you? And did it work?
ELIZABETH
I think I got through.
PHILIP
Well, good. Cause I have a feeling this one’s going to keep us on our toes!
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – ELIZABETH’S OFFICE – DAY
RICHARD is sitting in a chair, while Elizabeth looks over some student papers.
ELIZABETH
First of all, I think it’s important you understand why I decided to review your grades on these first papers. Given our… differences in style, I wanted to make sure when it came to grades we were essentially on the same page.
RICHARD
And?
ELIZABETH
And… I admit, by in large, you’ve made some very rational choices.
RICHARD
I am capable of rationality.
ELIZABETH
That’s not what I meant.
RICHARD
No? You always look at me as if I’m about to plunge off a cliff.
ELIZABETH
Do I? Well, it’s natural, you’re young. But it’s my job to reach out a hand and grab you whenever I think you’re too close to the edge.
RICHARD
What if you go over too?
ELIZABETH
(beat)
Don’t worry, I won’t.
(beat)
Now. I said, by in large, you made good choices. But we’re going to need to discuss this one. Annabelle Crioli.
RICHARD
Oh, yeah. Isn’t she something?
ELIZABETH
She’s something all right, but I’m not sure you should be encouraging her. My God, Richard, solipsism. She argued for solipsism in Descartes’s Cogito? Solipsism is the quagmire of philosophical thought. It’s the trap to avoid, not the place to purposely head!
RICHARD
To me, it’s one of the most fascinating ideas in philosophy!
ELIZABETH
Why doesn’t that surprise me. …Richard! Even you would have to admit, once you get stuck in solipsism, there’s no way out!
RICHARD
But that doesn’t mean it isn’t true!
ELIZABETH
Nor does it mean it is. Which is precisely why it’s paradoxical!
RICHARD
I know! That’s what’s so cool about it! Here I am sitting in the office of Elizabeth Drewer. Thinking I’m having a conversation with a living, breathing, very intelligent woman. But what if my mind is actually the only consciousness that exists and you are only a projection of my imagination!
ELIZABETH
What if I am? You can’t know it, can you? Because the world would appear exactly the same, figment of your imagination or not.
RICHARD
I know it would appear that way, but would the world of solipsism really be identical to that of independent consciousness? I mean even if I couldn’t prove Elizabeth Drewer exists, whether she does or doesn’t isn’t the same!
ELIZABETH
It is, rationally speaking.
RICHARD
Well, certainly not emotionally speaking! I’d kind of prefer to think you’re real.
ELIZABETH
Well, I am then, aren’t I?
RICHARD
Not if you’re just an image in my head, saying that!
ELIZABETH
But that’s what I would say, wouldn’t I? Projection or not. You embrace solipsism and you just end up chasing your tail.
RICHARD
That’s how it is with paradox! But if you dwell within paradox long enough, it begins to yield new insight.
ELIZABETH
How very Zen of you. But that’s a particularly subtle view. And it’s a view that’s well beyond Ms. Crioli.
There is silence. Then Richard smiles.
ELIZABETH
What?
RICHARD
Nothing. This is great, that’s all!
ELIZABETH
What is?
RICHARD
This. Discussion. Dissension. Dissection. And all with Elizabeth Drewer! I… well, I imagined us doing this. Picking apart some grand philosophical question.
ELIZABETH
Did you?
RICHARD
Yeah! Although, of course, in my imagination you always found me brilliant.
ELIZABETH
There you are, solipsism!
RICHARD
No, no. Forget solipsism! I happen to know Elizabeth Drewer is real.
ELIZABETH
Do you? And how’s that?
RICHARD
Well, because! Excuse me for saying this, but… the figment doesn’t hold a candle to the real thing!
He smiles at her, disarmingly. She is both charmed and troubled by this.
-
Dale’s Finished Act 1
What I learned from doing this assignment is how introduction of B and C stories need to support the core story.
Outline of other scenes in Act 1:
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Marshall, Elizabeth’s ex-husband, comes to her home, ostensibly looking for a chemistry book he may have left there. Issues of their marriage come up.
Beginning: Marshall arrives and asks to look through her shelves for a book he may have left there, that he needs now.
Middle: Elizabeth questions his real reason for being there – and asks about his new wife.
End: Elizabeth’s anger comes to the surface in a tirade against how Marshall betrayed her.
INT. ELIZABETH’S UNIVERSITY OFFICE – DAY
A female student asks Elizabeth advice about testifying against a professor for sexual misconduct.
Beginning: Amanda, Elizabeth’s student, asks if she can speak with Elizabeth
Middle: She asks for advice about whether to join the law suit against a predatory professor. She then describes what he did.
End: Tells her to follow what feels right. Expresses outrage at the prof’s behavior and the university’s lack of action.
INT. RESTAURANT – EVENING
Elizabeth sees her colleague, Philip, holding hands with one of his former students who is still a student at the university.
Beginning: Elizabeth and Barbara arrive at a restaurant for dinner.
Middle: Elizabeth spots Philip holding hands with a student. She argues he is breaking current university rules. Barbara takes a more forgiving stance.
End: Barbara changes the subject to ask about Elizabeth’s love love, which Liz says is non-existent. Barbara asks her if she wants to turn into a walking head at 43.
DRAFT OF REMAINING SCENES IN ACT I
INT. ELIZABETH’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Elizabeth goes and answers the front door. MARSHALL HEUGHINS, a mild-looking man in his mid-forties stands there.
ELIZABETH
(surprised)
Marshall.
MARSHALL
Hello, Elizabeth. Am I disturbing you?
ELIZABETH
Well, I’m preparing my lecture. Can I help you with something?
MARSHALL
Well, see, there’s a book I appear to be missing. I wouldn’t bother you for it, but I really need it. I’m doing this article for The Journal of Chemical Education, and… you look good.
Elizabeth does not respond
MARSHALL
And, uh, it’s got the exact passage I need to– Look, why don’t you go on working. I’ll just look through shelves to see if it’s there.
ELIZABETH
…Fine. Come in.
He enters and they both head into Elizabeth’s office.
INT. ELIZABETH’S OFFICE – A FEW MINUTES LATER
Elizabeth is working again on her lecture while Marshall scans titles on her bookshelf.
She periodically looks at him, obviously uncomfortable he is there.
ELIZABETH
How long is this going to take?
MARSHALL
It’s only been a few minutes.
ELIZABETH
I can’t concentrate. Not while you’re here.
MARSHALL
Sorry. I thought…
ELIZABETH
What?
MARSHALL
You’re still angry.
ELIZABETH
Well, of course, what did you expect?
MARSHALL
I don’t know. I thought maybe… after a year…
ELIZABETH
That I’d be over you? I am. I barely think of you at all.
MARSHALL
See, that’s good.
ELIZABETH
Until you turn up scratching at my door. Looking for a book you could just as easily find in the library.
MARSHALL
And your point is…
ELIZABETH
What are you really doing here, Marshall?
MARSHALL
I told you.
ELIZABETH
Fine. Well, just hurry it up then, will you?
Beat. He goes back to perusing the shelves.
ELIZABETH
(beat)
So… how is Mara?
MARSHALL
You don’t really want to know.
ELIZABETH
I do.
MARSHALL
She’s… fine. I mean… in the beginning she threw up so much she had to carry those little airline bags around with her. Then the morning of the second trimester began and she became this… mother goddess. She says that’s how it goes for her: first trimester, throw up, second, feel wonderful. It’s old hat to her, but it’s all new to me.
(beat)
It’s kind of amazing, really.
ELIZABETH
For someone who never wanted children, you’re embracing this thing pretty well.
MARSHALL
Well, you never really know how you’re going to react to something ’till you’re in it.
ELIZABETH
Or… maybe, you just found your true self.
MARSHALL
What does that mean?
ELIZABETH
It means Mara came along and awakened in you a latent and rather puerile desire for domesticity.
MARSHALL
What do you have against Mara?
ELIZABETH
(with growing anger)
Nothing. Other than the fact that she was the other woman. It’s you I have the problem with. You deceived me. And I don’t mean only sexually. You made me believe you wanted the same things I did, instead of what you really wanted which was a woman just like your mother, none too smart, with kids dragging at her skirts and a house filled with noise. We made our plans, Marshall. Careers first. No children. Intellectual growth. And it was all predicated on a lie!
MARSHALL
(A beat.)
Wow. …I guess you’ve been saving that one up.
ELIZABETH
I’ve had time to think.
MARSHALL
So I see.
(beat)
Uh… Look. Maybe I’d better get going.
ELIZABETH
But you haven’t found your book.
MARSHALL
I might have another source.
ELIZABETH
Right.
He starts to leave, then turns back.
MARSHALL
Are you going to be all right?
ELIZABETH
You’re asking me this now?
MARSHALL
I know, it’s just…
ELIZABETH
It’s just… you’ve got a baby coming, a whole new life, time to take a little parting glance at the one you left behind?
MARSHALL
That’s not it at all.
ELIZABETH
Come on, Marshall. One of the things you’ve never taken me for is stupid.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE ELIZABETH’S OFFICE.
Elizabeth arrives at her office to find one of her graduate students, AMANDA JONES, 23, waiting for her.
ELIZABETH
Amanda, hello! Can I help you with something?
Elizabeth unlocks the door of her office.
AMANDA
Do you have moment?
ELIZABETH
Yes. Come on in.
INT. ELIZABETH’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
ELIZABETH
Have a seat. What can I do for you.
AMANDA
I uh… I need some advice.
ELIZABETH
Certainly. Is this about your thesis?
AMANDA
No, it’s… well personal, in a way.
ELIZABETH
All right…
AMANDA
You know, I’m sure, about the pending law suit against Professor Stern.
ELIZABETH
Yes.
AMANDA
I… they are still looking for students to testify…
ELIZABETH
Ok…
AMANDA
I… he… I am one of his… he…
ELIZABETH
I’m so sorry, Amanda, I didn’t realize!
AMANDA
It was… pretty awful.
ELIZABETH
Do you feel like telling me what…
AMANDA
It’s hard to… but if I decide to testify… I need to be able to…
ELIZABETH
Only if you’re comfortable.
AMANDA
(after a beat)
It was at a party.
He was there, as if he were one of the students, drinking away, telling these off color jokes and… well, I went upstairs to use the bathroom and when I came out, he–
(she takes a deep breath)
He pushed me against a wall and suddenly I felt his hand up my skirt and his finger shoving itself into my–
ELIZABETH
My God.
AMANDA
And the thing was, I was still his student, you know? And all the while he was doing this, he was whispering: “I haven’t turned in your final grade yet, Amanda.” When he finally pulled away, he told me I needed to keep this to myself.
ELIZABETH
Unbelievable!
AMANDA
And then, in class, when I handed in the blue book during our final exam, he… he winked at me as he took it, you know like we were sharing this cool little secret. I almost vomited on his shoes.
Elizabeth looks at her, eyes filled with sympathy.
AMANDA
But…there are a bunch of other students testifying. I mean, I don’t have to really…
ELIZABETH
No, you don’t have to.
AMANDA
But I feel like I should, you know? Like it might help the case… like it might help me. It’s just it’s so… mortifying.
ELIZABETH
And that is what keeps women silent about these things. It is they who feel the shame, not the perpetrator…
Amanda is in tears now. She just sits there quietly, crying.
ELIZABETH
All I can tell you, Amanda, is to do what feels best. It has nothing to do with a right or wrong decision. And I will add I am deeply outraged at what a fellow professor did and, frankly, even more outraged that the administration turned a blind eye.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Elizabeth and Barbara are being shown their table at a local restaurant. At another end of the restaurant Elizabeth notices…
PHILIP sitting in a booth with a young woman. They are laughing together, and at one point, she brushes his hair aside, and he takes her hand and kisses it.
Now seated at their table, Elizabeth speaks in a low, voice.
ELIZABETH
I don’t believe it!
BARBARA
What?
ELIZABETH
Don’t look, but over there
Elizabeth glances in that direction, Barbara starts to turn to look.
ELIZABETH
I said don’t look!
BARBARA
What is it?
ELIZABETH
Philip.
BARBARA
Okay… Philip?
ELIZABETH
With a student.
BARBARA
Still, not so strange.
ELIZABETH
Holding her hand.
BARBARA
Oh. Shit.
ELIZABETH
Yeah.
Barbara turns slyly to take a look.
BARBARA
Is that… Cheryl Littleton?
ELIZABETH
Yes. She was a student in Philip’s class on the Idealists.
BARBARA
Was?
ELIZABETH
Yes.
BARBARA
Well, if he’s not teaching her now. I mean, that is compliant with the old rules.
ELIZABETH
But not with the new ones.
BARBARA
Those were just introduced.
ELIZABETH
I know, but still…
BARBARA
I’d much rather talk about your love life.
ELIZABETH
Mine? Doesn’t exist.
BARBARA
I was afraid of that. Look, Liz, You’re a single woman again.
Time to toss yourself back into the dating pool.
ELIZABETH
I’ve forgotten how to swim.
BARBARA
It’ll come back to you.
ELIZABETH
I’m happy with my life right now.
BARBARA
Really? Barely any social life? Working night and day.
ELIZABETH
I love my work.
BARBARA
I know you do. But turning into a walking head at forty-three, is that what you really want?
ELIZABETH
For now? Yes, that’s exactly what I want.
BARBARA
You’re hopeless!
But she laughs, knowing her friend well. Elizabeth laughs too.
ELIZABETH
I love you too.
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Dale’s Turning Point 1 Scenes:
What I learned from this assignment is how scenes I had formed in my mind fit into the overall structure of the screenplay.
Sc 1: We see the contrast between Elizabeth’s traditional style of teaching and Richard’s unconventional style.
Sc. 2: Elizabeth drags Richard on carpet for his teaching style. First glimmers of an attraction between them. Although it is subtle, the seed has been planted and there will be no going back.
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY / RICHARD’S CLASSROOM – DAY
Beginning: Elizabeth lectures about Plato’s diagram of the divided line, emphasizing his mistrust of the senses.
Middle: Richard in his discussion group presents a different take on the divided line – challenging Plato’s ideas of where truth is discovered – he brings up art, the heart, and sex.
End: Richard’s students respond enthusiastically with questions and Richard seeks to connect philosophy to their every day lives.
INT. ELIZABETH’S UNIVERSITY OFFICE – DAY
Beginning: Richard welcomes Elizabeth to his office. Offers her juice and a bagel. She wants to get down to brass tacks.
Middle: Elizabeth explains why he needs to reign in some of his more student-friendly ways of teaching. His passion needs to be contained.
End: Richard says he didn’t expect this from the Elizabeth Drewer whose work he has read and admired. He asks if her passion has been contained.
DRAFT OF SCENES:
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
The camera scans the lecture hall, the students are taking careful notes as Elizabeth, at her lectern, lectures:
ELIZABETH
When it came to knowledge, Plato had what you might call a healthy distrust of the senses. They were unreliable at best and the world that they perceived was one that was in a constant state of flux. So he devised his famous diagram of the divided line…
INTERCUT TO:
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S CLASSROOM – DAY
Student chairs have been gathered into a semi-circle and Richard stands in the middle referring to a white board, which has a diagram of Plato’s divided line.
The students are laughing and attentive as Richard dances, animated, in the center, using a long stick to point to the diagram as reference. There are women students, in particular who are focused on Richard’s every word (and shall we say… every move?)
RICHARD
Okay. Dr. Drewer has introduced you to Plato’s divided line. Let’s go over it: Reason at the top. Then mathematical and scientific understanding, then belief and perception and bringing up the rear, conjecture and imagination.
INTERCUT TO:
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL
ELIZABETH
Plato was after the real thing, Truth with a capital T, that reality that transcends the world, that is, in fact, unchanging and eternal.
INTERCUT TO:
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S CLASSROOM – DAY
RICHARD
So… I don’t think Shakespeare and Picasso would be too happy being relegated to the lowest rung of knowledge, but there you are. Plato argues there’s only one real way to truth and that’s through reason. All the other levels are inferior in some way. Okay, so… what do you all think? Do you need to shut out this world and yourself in pure thought to find truth? Or is it possible to find it in something else? What about… a kick-ass sunset? …a blues riff by B.B. King? …the mystery of a subatomic particle? The question is: Does truth just happen here?:
(points to head)
Or could it also happen here?
(points to eyes)
Or… here?
(points to heart)
Or even here?
(points to genitals.)
The hands of students shoot up, including that of SARAH REEVES, 19, and TED JONES, 20. Richard points to Ted.
TED
So, you’re saying philosophy has something to do with, like, the shit I deal with every day?
RICHARD
I’m absolutely saying that. I mean, we think that these were a bunch of dudes who lived a long time ago and have no relevance to today. But, guys, these are really eternal questions. I mean, we haven’t been on this planet all that long, micro seconds, really, so we’re still dealing with the same damn things they were.
SARAH
Yeah, like who to be friends with? Or who to believe when they feed you a line?
She gives a pointed glance at Ted. ANNABELLE CRIOLI, an intense 19-year-old speaks up:
ANNABELLE
Or how to find meaning in this crazy existence?
RICHARD
Yes, philosophy is all about that – from the daily to the universal.
TED
Will it help me pass my Calc exams?
RICHARD
Ah well, that’s where it might fall short. Though Pythagoras probably would have been able to lend a hand, if Calculus had been invented back then. Okay… getting back to Plato…
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S OFFICE
Richard sits behind his desk, reading student papers. There is a light knock on the door.
RICHARD
Come in.
Elizabeth enters.
RICHARD
Well! Hello, Professor!
He clears off a chair piled with books.
RICHARD
Uh… sorry… Here, sit, sit down!
Elizabeth sits.
RICHARD
I’m almost finished with these papers. If you were wondering…
ELIZABETH
No, that’s all right. You still have time. Actually, I stopped by to–.
RICHARD
Oh, God. Where are my manners! Can I offer you something to drink? I usually keep some juice here…
He opens a drawer, pulls out some juice.
RICHARD
Or… how about…
He reaches into drawer again.
RICHARD
…a bagel?!
He slaps a bag of bagels on the desk.
ELIZABETH
No, nothing. Really.
(beat)
Look, Richard. I need to discuss something with you.
RICHARD
Great. Shoot.
ELIZABETH
Well, it has to do with… your discussion group.
RICHARD
Okay…
ELIZABETH
Richard. Look. You came here with a reputation for two things. Brilliance and iconoclasm. While some leeway can be allowed in the latter for the sake of the former, as both the professor of this course and as your advisor, I would ask you to rein things in.
RICHARD
What things are you talking about?
ELIZABETH
Oh, comparing Blaise Pascal to the Tao te Ching…
RICHARD
That was Zen Buddhism, Taoism was Plato.
ELIZABETH
Or equating drug use with a search for the transcendent!
RICHARD
Well that’s what it is, distorted though it may be.
ELIZABETH
And then there’s your rather frequent tendency to appeal to the more… romantic, not to speak of… sexual urgings of the students.
RICHARD
But that’s because that’s practically all they think about! Why not show them even those things connect to philosophy. If I’m going to get to these kids, I need to do it on their own turf!
ELIZABETH
Which just strikes me as you dropping down to their level, rather than expecting them to rise to yours.
RICHARD
I’m still giving them all the material from the course, I’m just throwing in a little extra!
ELIZABETH
Yes, well, it’s that extra I’m worried about! You are… how shall I put this? Not much older than these kids. Your students, especially your female students may start to get… ideas about you.
RICHARD
Ideas?
ELIZABETH
You are an attractive young man.
RICHARD
Thank you.
ELIZABETH
I’m not stating that as compliment, just a fact. Unless you make lines clear between yourself and your students…
RICHARD
I believe I am.
ELIZABETH
…you could be creating potential problems for yourself.
RICHARD
Like…?
ELIZABETH
Richard, you are not naive, I’m sure you know what I’m saying.
RICHARD
Yes, okay. But I think of a TA as a type of intermediary between the professor and the students. Thus I need to speak their language.
ELIZABETH
True. But go too far in that direction, and the lines between you and them start to blur. That used to be more allowable, but given the times we live in…
RICHARD
Right.
Richard looks downcast.
ELIZABETH
I know you must feel I’m restraining you terribly…
RICHARD
It is a bit of a straight jacket, yes. And I actually didn’t think that here, working with you…
ELIZABETH
What?
RICHARD
Well, forgive me. But… this just isn’t the Elizabeth Drewer I expected.
(off her look)
What I’m saying is… when I read your work… there is something in your work… It’s this… passion. That always made me feel like, …if you strip away our different approaches to the subject, our different cultures, we were… kindred spirits.
ELIZABETH
…Ah.
RICHARD
Sometimes you can’t help but form a picture of a person whose work you admire.
ELIZABETH
Yes, I see.
(beat)
Well, I’m sorry to have disappointed you.
RICHARD
I didn’t say that.
ELIZABETH
(beat)
No. Well… naturally, I’m flattered that you felt a connection to my work.
(Richard smiles)
But… it still comes down to the fact that you’re… inexperienced in this world of academia! Believe me, passion… is not the only thing you’re going to need to survive in it. That passion has to be appropriately contained.
RICHARD
Has yours?
ELIZABETH
Excuse me?
RICHARD
Has yours been appropriately contained?
ELIZABETH
(beat)
Richard, you have this disconcerting habit of… turning an argument back on a person. I do wish you’d take this conversation seriously.
RICHARD
Oh, I do. Very.
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Dale’s Outline for Scene 2:
What I learned from today’s assignment is the idea of a scene that shows the reaction of the protagonist to the inciting incident. In this case, inciting incident and reaction to it seemed to be joined in one interchange, but it still helped to see them as different events.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
And…
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE FACULTY LOUNGE.
(These two scenes – one continuing from the other – actually together form a combination of inciting incident and reaction to that incident.)
Beginning: Elizabeth and her fellow professor and friend, Barbara Benton, are in the faculty lounge discussing the boring paperwork required of them when Richard walks in.
Middle: Barbara comments on his good looks. He joins them at their table, immediately charming Barbara. But his comments about his tendency to and to “ride several tracks at once” gives Elizabeth a glimmer of what she might be dealing with in terms of her new TA’s style.
End: Richard further challenges her by first complimenting her work, and then throwing out an unusual perspective on that work.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
BARBARA BENTON and Elizabeth are sitting at a table. Barbara is an energetic and ebullient woman in her 40s. In front of her are a disorganized pile of papers.
BARBARA
When I was first hired to teach, the last thing I thought I’d be spending my life doing was filling out goddamn forms!
ELIZABETH
They are part of any job.
BARBARA
That’s easy for you to say. You had them completed, alphabetized and cross-referenced two weeks before they were due!
ELIZABETH
Look, if you like, I’ll help you.
BARBARA
Oh, would you! Liz, you’re a life saver!
She tosses the forms into a file folder and shoves it over to Elizabeth.
Richard enters the lounge, looking around.
BARBARA
Who is that young man?
ELIZABETH
He’s my new TA.
BARBARA
Well, he sure is easy on the eyes!
ELIZABETH
Barbara!
BARBARA
Just sayin’
Richard comes over to them.
RICHARD
Dr. Drewer?
ELIZABETH
Yes, hello, Richard. How have you been settling in?
RICHARD
Sleeping on a friend’s couch right now, but I have some leads on apartments.
ELIZABETH
Very good.
BARBARA
(thrusting out her hand)
Hi. I’m Barbara Benton.
ELIZABETH
Oh sorry. Barbara: anthropology. Richard: new TA.
RICHARD
(shaking Barbara’s hand)
Encantado.
Barbara smiles, clearly charmed by this.
BARBARA
Back at ya.
Elizabeth looks at her watch.
ELIZABETH
Walk with us?
RICHARD
Sure.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE FACULTY LOUNGE – CONTINUOUS
Elizabeth, Barbara and Richard walk down the hall together.
ELIZABETH
I assume you’re reviewed my syllabus?
RICHARD
I have. Stunningly well organized.
ELIZABETH
I think it helps keep everyone on track.
RICHARD
Yeah, I have a tendency to ride several tracks at once.
ELIZABETH
Ah, well, we’ll cure you of that.
RICHARD
You’ll be the first.
Barbara laughs quietly to herself over that.
RICHARD
I have to say. I’m so glad they accepted my transfer. This is such a thrill, working under you. I’ve read most of what you’ve published.
ELIZABETH
Really?
RICHARD
God, to follow your arguments, it’s like traveling into a wonderfully intricate maze. But you always get us out in the end.
ELIZABETH
Well, thank you.
She glances at Barbara, smiling a bit smugly.
RICHARD
I particularly enjoyed your newest piece on Descartes. Although it seems, I mean… the discoveries of quantum physics are forcing us to reassess the whole issue of dualism, don’t you think?
ELIZABETH
What do you mean?
BARBARA
(amused)
Yes, do say more.
RICHARD
I mean, on the subatomic level, you’ve got minds reaching out and determining in some strange way the action of particles. What happens to your dualism then? There can’t be the problem of a ghost in the machine if the ghost is the machine, can there?
ELIZABETH
Yes, well, I’m aware of the essentials of quantum mechanics, but I don’t necessarily see how they–
RICHARD
Oh, by the way, Professor. I’m also glad they assigned you as my graduate advisor. I have confidence you will guide me well!
(Looks at watch)
Oops. Ontology seminar in five. Gotta go. Un placer, senoras. Hasta luego!
And he is off down the hall. The two women look at each other. Elizabeth shakes her head, as if to say: What was that?
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Dale’s Act 1: Opening Scenes. (I reposted this, not seeing my earlier post, but now I do – so this is just a repeat of the earlier one.)
What I learned from this assignment is the importance of figuring out the beginning, middle and end of scenes, in other words, the movement and changes within the scene.
OPENING SCENES BEAT SHEET (Protagonist)
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Elizabeth in her home environment, establishing her style, music she listens to, full to bursting bookshelves, etc.
Beginning: We see Elizabeth’s home – a clear reflection of who she is: with its tasteful décor, its bookshelves overflowing, and it’s classical music playing.
Middle: We see Elizabeth in her home office – at her laptop with books open next to her, preparing her lecture for tomorrow.
End: We see Elizabeth in bed, sleeping on only one side, clearly there used to be a man on the other side who is not there anymore.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
Elizabeth at her lectern doing her first lecture for her “Intro to the Rationalists” philosophy class
Beginning: Elizabeth introduces herself and her class to the students
Middle: Elizabeth starts her lecture about what is rationalism.
End: She gives the assignment to the students and notices her new TA, Richard arriving late.
OPENING SCENE BEAT SHEET (Antagonist) Two locations, but one scene
EXT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – GROUNDS – DAY
Richard, the new TA, rushing to class, bumps into a female student who is struck by his good looks.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
He arrives late to Elizabeth lecture – slips in at the back. She notices he’s late.
Beginning: Richard is rushing across campus
Middle: He bumps into a student and papers fly. As she helps him, she notices how handsome he is.
End: Harried, he slips into the back of Elizabeth’s lecture hall while already in session.
DRAFT OF OPENING SCENES:
FADE IN:
INT. THE HOME OF PROFESSOR ELIZABETH DREWER – EVENING
This is a home that clearly reflects its occupant. It is tastefully decorated, there are book shelves full to overflowing in the living room and office, and other shelves dedicated to record albums. On the walls is evocative art work.
All in all this is a home of “high culture.” It is also impeccably clean and orderly.
A Persian cat sleeps in the nook of a window seat.
INT. ELIZABETH’S HOME OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
A Mozart piano concerto plays.
ELIZABETH DREWER, 42, sits at her desk in her office, typing on her laptop. She is preparing a lecture. There are a couple of books open next to the computer to which she sometimes refers and she occasionally looks off into the distance as she forms her thoughts. Finally, typing a last sentence, and looking satisfied, she takes off her glasses and closes the laptop.
INT. ELIZABETH’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Elizabeth is in bed, but she is having trouble sleeping. She lies on one side of the bed, “her side.” Next to her a pillow on the other side seems to indicate that there had been, not too long ago, a man who slept there.
EXT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – DAY
Establishing shots of PRENTISS University, a fictitious ivy-league style college in California (think Stanford). We see the venerable buildings, the manicured lawns, the walkways with students going to and from class.
ON ELIZABETH
As she moves toward a building marked “Philosophy Department.” Elizabeth is fashionably, though somewhat conservatively, dressed. She strides with the confidence of someone who is certain of her place in the world.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
This is a midsize lecture hall. Students are still coming in the door, as Elizabeth takes her place in front of her lectern. She looks out at the class.
ELIZABETH
Good morning. Please check your schedules to make sure you’re in the right class. I’m Professor Elizabeth Drewer and this is Philosophy 21, Intro to the Rationalists.
We see the students finding seats. Some greet each other, others look a bit nervous, others share a joke, etc.
As they settle down…
ELIZABETH
All right. Let’s begin.
The class now grows quiet and attentive.
ELIZABETH
I’d like to ask you a simple question: How do you know something? What I mean is, how do you know you know what you know?
We continue to hear Elizabeth’s lecture IN VOICE OVER as:
EXT. CAMPUS WALKWAYS – SIMULTANEOUS
RICHARD AMADO, a handsome Mexican-American 28-year-old grad student is rushing along a path. He has his arms full of papers. He refers to one of them that has a class number written on it.
ELIZABETH (V.O.)
Can you just assume that your sources of knowledge, whatever they may be, are reliable? Or is it possible you might be walking around believing something, maybe even pinning your entire life on something that isn’t true?
Richard bumps into a FEMALE STUDENT, and papers go flying. The student leans over to help him with the papers and when she hands them back, she stares into his handsome face, smiling…
ELIZABETH (V.O.)
Well, there have been philosophers through the ages who have argued that rationality is what keeps us poor humans from succumbing to illogical thinking and runaway emotions.
Richard smiles back, then rushes off once more, with the student staring after him.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
ELIZABETH
…Now, before we go further, let me give you your assignment.
Richard slips, out of breath, into the back of Elizabeth’s classroom. Elizabeth notices, but barely loses a beat.
ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
For Friday, I would like you to read pages 25-38 of your philosophy text, the excerpt from Plato’s Republic which deals with his concept of Forms.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by Dale Griffiths Stamos.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by
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What I learned doing this assignment was the importance of defining the beginning, middle, and end of a scene – i.e. its movement, how it goes from one place to another.
Dale’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
OPENING SCENES BEAT SHEET (Protagonist)
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Elizabeth in her home environment, establishing her style, music she listens to, full to bursting bookshelves, etc.
Beginning: We see Elizabeth’s home – a clear reflection of who she is: with its tasteful décor, its bookshelves overflowing, and it’s classical music playing.
Middle: We see Elizabeth in her home office – at her laptop with books open next to her, preparing her lecture for tomorrow.
End: We see Elizabeth in bed, sleeping on only one side, clearly there used to be a man on the other side who is not there anymore.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
Elizabeth at her lectern doing her first lecture for her “Intro do the Rationalists” philosophy class
Beginning: Elizabeth introduces herself and her class to the students
Middle: Elizabeth starts her lecture about what is rationalism.
End: She gives the assignment to the students and notices her new TA, Richard arriving late.
OPENING SCENE BEAT SHEET (Antagonist) Two locations, but one scene
EXT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – GROUNDS – DAY
Richard, the new TA, rushing to class, bumps into a female student who is struck by his good looks.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
He arrives late to Elizabeth lecture – slips in at the back. She notices he’s late.
Beginning: Richard is rushing across campus
Middle: He bumps into a student and papers fly. As she helps him, she notices how handsome he is.
End: Harried, he slips into the back of Elizabeth’s lecture hall while already in session.
DRAFT OF OPENING SCENES:
FADE IN:
INT. THE HOME OF PROFESSOR ELIZABETH DREWER – EVENING
This is a home that clearly reflects its occupant. It is tastefully decorated, there are book shelves full to overflowing in the living room and office, and other shelves dedicated to record albums. On the walls is evocative art work.
All in all this is a home of “high culture.” It is also impeccably clean and orderly.
A Persian cat sleeps in the nook of a window seat.
INT. ELIZABETH’S HOME OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
A Mozart piano concerto plays.
ELIZABETH DREWER, 42, sits at her desk in her office, typing on her laptop. She is preparing a lecture. There are a couple of books open next to the computer to which she sometimes refers and she occasionally looks off into the distance as she forms her thoughts. Finally, typing a last sentence, and looking satisfied, she takes off her glasses and closes the laptop.
INT. ELIZABETH’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Elizabeth is in bed, but she is having trouble sleeping. She lies on one side of the bed, “her side.” Next to her a pillow on the other side seems to indicate that there had been, not too long ago, a man who slept there.
EXT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – DAY
Establishing shots of PRENTISS University, a fictitious ivy-league style college in California (think Stanford). We see the venerable buildings, the manicured lawns, the walkways with students going to and from class.
ON ELIZABETH
As she moves toward a building marked “Philosophy Department.” Elizabeth is fashionably, though somewhat conservatively, dressed. She strides with the confidence of someone who is certain of her place in the world.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
This is a midsize lecture hall. Students are still coming in the door, as Elizabeth takes her place in front of her lectern. She looks out at the class.
ELIZABETH
Good morning. Please check your schedules to make sure you’re in the right class. I’m Professor Elizabeth Drewer and this is Philosophy 21, Intro to the Rationalists.
We see the students finding seats. Some greet each other, others look a bit nervous, others share a joke, etc.
As they settle down…
ELIZABETH
All right. Let’s begin.
The class now grows quiet and attentive.
ELIZABETH
I’d like to ask you a simple question: How do you know something? What I mean is, how do you know you know what you know?
We continue to hear Elizabeth’s lecture IN VOICE OVER as:
EXT. CAMPUS WALKWAYS – SIMULTANEOUS
RICHARD AMADO, a handsome Mexican-American 28-year-old grad student is rushing along a path. He has his arms full of papers. He refers to one of them that has a class number written on it.
ELIZABETH (V.O.)
Can you just assume that your sources of knowledge, whatever they may be, are reliable? Or is it possible you might be walking around believing something, maybe even pinning your entire life on something that isn’t true?
Richard bumps into a FEMALE STUDENT, and papers go flying. The student leans over to help him with the papers and when she hands them back, she stares into his handsome face, smiling…
ELIZABETH (V.O.)
Well, there have been philosophers through the ages who have argued that rationality is what keeps us poor humans from succumbing to illogical thinking and runaway emotions.
Richard smiles back, then rushes off once more, with the student staring after him.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
ELIZABETH
…Now, before we go further, let me give you your assignment.
Richard slips, out of breath, into the back of Elizabeth’s classroom. Elizabeth notices, but barely loses a beat.
ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
For Friday, I would like you to read pages 25-38 of your philosophy text, the excerpt from Plato’s Republic which deals with his concept of Forms.
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<div>Dale’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
</div>What I learned doing this assignment
is that the antagonist as change agent is a continual catalyst for the changes in the protagonist.THEME:
For a person to be fully dimensional in oneself, and compassionate toward others, heart and mind need to find balance.
Antagonist Journey:
Richard Amado: Antagonist / Change Agent
1. 1<sup>st</sup> encounter with Elizabeth, he already challenges her well delineated world
2. Richard teaches his class in a sex, drugs and rock and roll way to best reach his students.
3. Elizabeth drags Richard on the carpet, he makes his case.
4. Richard defends his grades on a student paper, and subtly flirts with Elizabeth
5. Richard and Elizabeth share some of their life stories with each other. Intimacy grows.
6. Richard turns up at Elizabeth’s house, declares his feelings, kisses her.
7. Richard does not accept Elizabeth’s decision to have only a professional relationship.
8. Richard sends texts, emails
9. Richard stops her in the parking lot, trying to persuade her.
10. Richard comes to her home again, this time she gives in
11. Barbara tells Richard how much this is tearing Elizabeth apart.
12. Richard walks the university grounds, re-evaluating.
13. Richard goes to speak to the head of the philosophy department
14. Richard chooses to leave the university and apply elsewhere, but tells Elizabeth he still loves her.
Antagonist Journey: Beats in bold:
ACT 1:
Opening:
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Elizabeth in her home environment, establishing her style, music she listens to, full to bursting bookshelves, etc.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
Elizabeth at her lectern doing her first lecture for her “Intro do the Rationalists” philosophy class
EXT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – GROUNDS – DAY
Richard, the new TA, rushing to class, bumps into a female student who is struck by his good looks.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
He arrives late to Elizabeth lecture – slips in at the back. She notices he’s late.
Inciting Incident:
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
First encounter with Richard and his iconoclastic thinking – while with Barbara in faculty lounge
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Marshall, Elizabeth’s ex-husband, comes to her home, ostensibly looking for a chemistry book he may have left there. Issues of their marriage come up.
INT. ELIZABETH’S UNIVERSITY OFFICE – DAY
A female student asks Elizabeth advice about testifying against a professor for sexual misconduct.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
Elizabeth’s lecture contrasted with…
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S CLASSROOM – DAY
Richard’s discussions group. We see difference between Elizabeth and Richard’s teaching style. Also see female students drooling over Richard.
INT. RESTAURANT – EVENING
Elizabeth sees her colleague, Philip, holding hands with one of his former students who is still a student at the university.
Turning Point:
INT. ELIZABETH’S UNIVERSITY OFFICE – DAY
Elizabeth drags Richard on carpet for his teaching style. First glimmers of an attraction between them.
ACT 2
The plan:
INT. PRIVATE HOME – NIGHT
Elizabeth (at faculty party) tries to convince Philip to discontinue his relationship with his former student. Philip complains that the rules have gotten ridiculous and draconian. She argues in favor of them.
The Plan in action:
INT. ELIZABETH’S UNIVERSITY OFFICE – DAY
Elizabeth, in denial about any budding feelings, has a meeting with Richard about student Annabelle Crioli and his grade on on her paper. What starts as an academic and philosophical discussion morphs into a subtle flirtation on Richard’s part.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
Philip asks how Elizabeth is dealing with their new renegade graduate student. She assures him she’s handling him. He has his doubts.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S OFFICE – DAY
Richard is meeting a female student during office hours. Although she pretends to be there to talk about the class, she is really enamored of Richard and starts to ask him personal questions like if he has a girlfriend, and what does he look for in a woman. Richard shuts this conversation down quickly and shows her out.
Midpoint Turning Point
INT. COFFEE HOUSE – DAY
Richard and Elizabeth find themselves at the same coffee shop off campus, they have a more intimate conversation about their pasts. Elizabeth is becoming more consciously aware of her attraction, though she denies it to her friend, Barbara.
INT. ELIZABETH’S HOME OFFICE – EVENING
Richard turns up, soon after, at Elizabeth’s home, ostensibly to review final student grades, but really to declare his feelings to Elizabeth. He kisses her. Despite herself, she kisses him back. Shocked at her own behavior, she kicks him out!
ACT 3:
Rethink everything:
INT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS AT UNIVERSITY – DAY
Elizabeth tries to avoid Richard at work. Rushes off when he enters the faculty lounge. Walks out of her lecture in conversation with a student, so he cannot engage her.
INT. FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
Staring out the window of the faculty lounge, she sees Richard talking to a student. She is absorbed with how he smiles, how he moves, the bend of his neck, the brush of his hand across his hair.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – BEDROOM – NIGHT
Elizabeth has a sex dream about Richard. She wakes up, with the contradictory feelings of longing and self hatred.
New plan:
INT. HALLWAY & ELIZABETH’S UNIVERSITY OFFICE – DAY
Richard waiting as Elizabeth arrives for her office hours. She lets him in, and explains that the kiss was a mistake, but they can still turn back. But they must deal only on a professional level, avoiding personal contact. She is adamant. But Richard doesn’t agree.
INT. FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
She and Philip discuss Richard and how his renegade style must be driving her crazy. When she denies that, he is surprised.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Marshall turns up at her house to get a baby gift from her for his current wife. She asks him what really went wrong with their marriage? He can tell something is wrong and she admits she is attracted to someone she shouldn’t be.
VARIOUS LOCATIONS – DAY / NIGHT
Emails, texts and phone calls come from Richard
Turning Point:
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Richard turns up at her home. She lets him in, only because he won’t stop knocking (and waking up the neighbors). She gives him all the reasons why this relationship is not okay. But in the end… when he doesn’t accept this and kisses her again, she gives him.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – BEDROOM – EARLY MORNING
Elizabeth wakes up in a blissful state. But that state quickly evaporates as she looks at Richard asleep next to her. What has she done? She dresses quickly and heads out of the house for work.
All is Lost:
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Barbara finds Elizabeth at home, having stayed away from university for a week pretending she is sick. She confesses the affair to Barbara and says she is ashamed at her behavior and yet cannot stop thinking about Richard. She knows she should be reporting this, but if she does, what will happen?
EXT. UNIVERSITY PARKING LOT – DAY
Richard sees Elizabeth heading to her car. He rushes after her and asks why she is avoiding him. She is distraught and says she can’t do this, this is impossible! In another corner of the parking lot, the student who has a crush on Richard sees the two of them having a heated discussion. Will she put the pieces together?
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
She is staying at home pretending she is sick. Texts from Richard now turn into urgent voice mails. (“Are you really sick?” “let me come take care of you, then,” etc.)
INT. FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
Meanwhile, back at the university, Philip questions Richard as to when Elizabeth might be coming back. In their conversation, he figures out what has been going on.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S OFFICE – DAY
Barbara goes to Richard and tells him he has to cut off all contact with Elizabeth, stop calling, texting, etc. He needs to leave her alone. It’s tearing her apart. Richard reveals that Philip knows, so things are even worse!
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – DAY
We see Elizabeth in her home, looking lost. She looks at the texts from Richard, almost responds, then throws the phone against the wall.
EXT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – GROUNDS
Richard walks through campus, deep in thought.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S CLASSROOM – DAY
We see him in his classroom, not hearing what a student is saying, but just nodding.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
We see Elizabeth turn on her phone. There are no texts from Richard. She is surprised. He turns on her computer and looks at her emails. No emails from him either.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – DR. OFFICE – DAY
We see Richard in a meeting with the head of the philosophy department. We do not hear what they are saying.
ACT 4:
Climax: The Test.
INT. RICHARD’S OFFICE – DAY
Elizabeth turns up at Richard’s office. She is shocked to see him packing. He explains that he is taking a leave of absence and will apply to other institutions after. She says he doesn’t have to, as she has decided to continue to see him, and keep it a secret. She loves him. But he says he has to, more than ever, for her sake as well as his.
Resolution:
UNIVERSITY FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
We see Elizabeth back at the university where she encounters Philip. Despite her fear, he hadn’t turned her in. He’s just glad to have the company. She realizes she had too readily judged him. He is forgiving.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DA
We see Elizabeth doing one more lecture before spring break (where she has decided to join Richard during the break.) In the lecture, we see a reflection of how this experience has changed her views on philosophy and on life.
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Dale’s High Speed Beat Sheet
What I learned from this assignment is I found some new ideas for scenes but also know I need to see if they all track.
ACT 1:
Opening:
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Elizabeth in her home environment, establishing her style, music she listens to, full to bursting bookshelves, etc.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
Elizabeth at her lectern doing her first lecture for her “Intro do the Rationalists” philosophy class
EXT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – GROUNDS – DAY
Richard, the new TA, rushing to class, bumps into a female student who is struck by his good looks.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
He arrives to Elizabeth lecture – slips in at the back. She notices he’s late.
Inciting Incident:
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
First encounter with Richard and his iconoclastic thinking – while with Barbara in faculty lounge
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Marshall, Elizabeth’s ex-husband, comes to her home, ostensibly looking for a chemistry book he may have left there. Issues of their marriage come up.
INT. ELIZABETH’S UNIVERSITY OFFICE – DAY
A female student asks Elizabeth advice about testifying against a professor for sexual misconduct.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
Elizabeth’s lecture contrasted with…
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S CLASSROOM – DAY
Richard’s discussions group. We see difference between Elizabeth and Richard’s teaching style. Also see female students drooling over Richard.
INT. RESTAURANT – EVENING
Elizabeth sees her colleague, Philip, holding hands with one of his former students who is still a student at the university.
Turning Point:
INT. ELIZABETH’S UNIVERSITY OFFICE – DAY
Elizabeth drags Richard on carpet for his teaching style. First glimmers of an attraction between them.
ACT 2
The plan:
INT. PRIVATE HOME – NIGHT
Elizabeth (at faculty party) tries to convince Philip to discontinue his relationship with his former student. Philip complains that the rules have gotten ridiculous and draconian. She argues in favor of them.
The Plan in action:
INT. ELIZABETH’S UNIVERSITY OFFICE – DAY
Elizabeth, in denial about any budding feelings, has a meeting with Richard about student Annabelle Crioli and his grade on on her paper. What starts as an academic and philosophical discussion morphs into a subtle flirtation on Richard’s part.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
Philip asks how Elizabeth is dealing with their new renegade graduate student. She assures him she’s handling him. He has his doubts.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S OFFICE – DAY
Richard is meeting a female student during office hours. Although she pretends to be there to talk about the class, she is really enamored of Richard and starts to ask him personal questions like if he has a girlfriend, and what does he look for in a woman. Richard shuts this conversation down quickly and shows her out.
Midpoint Turning Point
INT. COFFEE HOUSE – DAY
Richard and Elizabeth find themselves at the same coffee shop off campus, they have a more intimate conversation about their pasts. Elizabeth is becoming more consciously aware of her attraction, though she denies it to her friend, Barbara.
INT. ELIZABETH’S HOME OFFICE – EVENING
Richard turns up, soon after, at Elizabeth’s home, ostensibly to review final student grades, but really to declare his feelings to Elizabeth. He kisses her. Despite herself, she kisses him back. Shocked at her own behavior, she kicks him out!
ACT 3:
Rethink everything:
INT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS AT UNIVERSITY – DAY
Elizabeth tries to avoid Richard at work. Rushes off when he enters the faculty lounge. Walks out of her lecture in conversation with a student, so he cannot engage her.
INT. FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
Staring out the window of the faculty lounge, she sees Richard talking to a student. She is absorbed with how he smiles, how he moves, the bend of his neck, the brush of his hand across his hair.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – BEDROOM – NIGHT
Elizabeth has a sex dream about Richard. She wakes up, with the contradictory feelings of longing and self hatred.
New plan:
INT. HALLWAY & ELIZABETH’S UNIVERSITY OFFICE – DAY
Richard waiting as Elizabeth arrives for her office hours. She lets him in, and explains that the kiss was a mistake, but they can still turn back. But they must deal only on a professional level, avoiding personal contact. She is adamant. But Richard doesn’t agree.
She and Philip discuss Richard and how his renegade style must be driving her crazy. When she denies that, he is surprised.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Marshall turns up at her house to get a baby gift from her for his current wife. She asks him what really went wrong with their marriage? He can tell something is wrong and she admits she is attracted to someone she shouldn’t be.
VARIOUS LOCATIONS – DAY / NIGHT
Emails, texts and phone calls come from Richard
Turning Point:
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Richard turns up at her home. She lets him in, only because he won’t stop knocking (and waking up the neighbors). She gives him all the reasons why this relationship is not okay. But in the end… when he doesn’t accept this and kisses her again, she gives him.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – BEDROOM – EARLY MORNING
Elizabeth wakes up in a blissful state. But that state quickly evaporates as she looks at Richard asleep next to her. What has she done? She dresses quickly and heads out of the house for work.
All is Lost:
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Barbara finds Elizabeth at home, having stayed away from university for a week pretending she is sick. She confesses the affair to Barbara and says she is ashamed at her behavior and yet cannot stop thinking about Richard. She knows she should be reporting this, but if she does, what will happen?
EXT. UNIVERSITY PARKING LOT – DAY
Richard sees Elizabeth heading to her car. He rushes after her and asks why she is avoiding him. She is distraught and says she can’t do this, this is impossible! In another corner of the parking lot, the student who has a crush on Richard sees the two of them having a heated discussion. Will she put the pieces together?
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
She is staying at home pretending she is sick. Texts from Richard now turn into urgent voice mails. (“Are you really sick?” “let me come take care of you, then,” etc.)
INT. FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
Meanwhile, back at the university, Philip questions Richard as to when Elizabeth might be coming back. In their conversation, he figures out what has been going on.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S OFFICE – DAY
Barbara goes to Richard and tells him he has to cut off all contact with Elizabeth, stop calling, texting, etc. He needs to leave her alone. It’s tearing her apart. And now that Philip knows, things are even worse!
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – DAY
We see Elizabeth in her home, looking lost. She looks at the texts from Richard, almost responds, then throws the phone against the wall.
EXT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – GROUNDS
Richard walks through campus, deep in thought.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S CLASSROOM – DAY
We see him in his classroom, not hearing what a student is saying, but just nodding.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
We see Elizabeth turn on her phone. There are no texts from Richard. She is surprised. He turns on her computer and looks at her emails. No emails from him either.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – DR. OFFICE – DAY
We see Richard in a meeting with the head of the philosophy department. We do not hear what they are saying.
ACT 4:
Climax: The Test.
INT. RICHARD’S OFFICE – DAY
Elizabeth turns up at Richard’s office. She is shocked to see him packing. He explains that he is taking a leave of absence and will apply to other institutions after. She says he doesn’t have to, as she has decided to continue to see him, and keep it a secret. She loves him. But he says he has to, more than ever, for her sake as well as his.
Resolution:
UNIVERSITY FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
We see Elizabeth back at the university where she encounters Philip. Despite her fear, he hadn’t turned her in. He’s just glad to have the company. She realizes she had too readily judged him. He is forgiving.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DA
We see Elizabeth doing one more lecture before spring break (where she has decided to join Richard during the break.) In the lecture, we see a reflection of how this experience has changed her views on philosophy and on life.
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Dale’s Transformational EventsWhat I learned from this assignment was how difficult it was to differentiate between changes/steps and dramatic events / tests.
Old Ways: Elizabeth is in her element, cool, logical controlled. Unlike her moody and unpredictable mother, she has modeled herself on her accomplished and demanding professor father. Her brilliance as a philosopher is evident in the articles and books she writes, and in the classes she teaches Her marriage having fallen apart because of another woman still baffles and disturbs her, and her best friend telling her it’s not healthy to be a “walking head” makes her want to prove she’s just fine, thank you very much.
New Ways: Elizabeth is coming off a scary experience of unexpected passion that thrown her entire world off balance and has made her re-evaluate not only the ways she has moved through the world (controlled, closed off emotionally, logical), but the ways she has condemned and judged others. When the smoke clears, she finds that she has evolved into a more balanced human being in terms of accepting the important role of emotions, and feeling more compassion for others.
Make a list of 6 – 8 changes or steps that need to happen for that character to go from who they are in the beginning (Old Ways) to who they are in the ending (New Ways).
· Arrival of Elizabeth’s new TA, Richard: a renegade thinker.
· Outraged about predatory behavior on the part of some professors.
· Although she is clear about her standards of ethical behavior, she is faced with the somewhat less ethical behavior of a respected colleague.
· Is challenged by the teaching style of her new TA. Drags him on the carpet. Glimmer of attraction.
· Must make a choice as to whether to turn against her colleague by telling what.she knows. (Old ways.)
· Starts to truly develop feelings for her TA (which at first she denies to herself) through their interactions. (New ways.)
· First test. Richard declares his feelings.
· Report what happened to university? End all personal contact with Richard.
· Faced with him again, giving in to her passion. Torn between love and ethics. Why has reason abandoned her?
· Her friend Barbara defends Elizabeth to Richard
· Elizabeth, afraid of losing Richard, decides loving him is worth the risk.
· In the end, realizing the transformative power of emotion to crack a person open
·
Sequence the steps from easiest to most difficult. This will imply the journey the character takes.
Brainstorm dramatic events or tests that could cause those changes for the character.
· (In an encounter with her ex-husband she realizes he has a messy life that he nonetheless seems to embrace. Was he not who she thought he was?
· A student comes to her trying to decide whether to add her own testimony to a lawsuit concerning the disturbing predatory behavior of a professor. Outraged, Elizabeth encourages her to step forward and testify.
· While out with her friend, Barbara, she sees a fellow philosophy professor, Philip, holding hands with a young woman who is a former student, but still attends the university.
· She tries to convince him to end the relationship, as it breaks new university rules and he gives her all the reasons he thinks these rules are draconian.
· Calls her new TA, Richard, on the carpet for his less than traditional way of teaching the students by using sex, drugs, rock and roll. A beginning attraction.
· Two more encounters with the TA and they get to know each other better, attraction is clearly growing.
· Meanwhile, someone reported Philip to the administration and she may be brought in to be questioned re him, as all the Philosophy faculty is.
· Richard turns up at her door, declares his feelings for her, she shares a kiss with him, then kicks him out, ashamed.
· But he won’t stay away and it plunges her into a helpless and obsessive longing for Richard. Faced with him again, giving in to her passion. Torn between love and ethics. Why has reason abandoned her?
· Her friend Barbara defends Elizabeth to Richard saying this is too difficult for Elizabeth
· In the end, when Richard stops calling, Elizabeth gives up and goes to him saying loving him is worth the risk, but he has decided (rationally) to leave the university for her sake.
· She comes to realize how rigid she had been, how even she can be taken over by emotion. It makes her more compassionate and more willing to be of both heart and mind. We see this in how she now relates to Philip and how she relates to her students.
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Dale’s 4 Act Transformational Structure
What I learned doing this assignment: Breaking the story into these elements in each act helped clarify how the events roll out.
Concept: Professor Elizabeth Drewer caught up in how the Me Too movement affects the life of her university and ultimately comes to affect her own personal life in transformative ways.
Main Conflict: The main conflict is her inner heart struggle in battle with her ethics and rational self when she falls in love with one of her graduate students.
Old Ways: Judgmental. Lives in her head. Logical. Unbending. Perfectionistic.
New Ways: No longer sure of everything. More forgiving of human failings. Can embrace ambiguities. Now has a balance or heart and mind.
ACT 1:
Opening: We see Prof Elizabeth Drewer in her element: teaching an undergraduate philosophy course about “The Rationalists.” We see here her emphasis on teaching students the importance of critical thinking and using your mind to avoid irrational thinking. We also see her discovery of a fellow professor’s (Philip Monohan) relationship with a student. Even though not in his class anymore, new university rules forbid any relationships between professors and students.
Inciting Incident: The arrival of Elizabeth’s new TA and graduate advisee, Richard Amado.
Turning Point: Elizabeth drags Richard on the carpet for his unusual teaching style. i.e. using drugs, sex and rock and roll to connect to philosophy. She warns him, particularly with the new and more stringent university rules that even talking about sexual issues in class can be problematic. But what happens under the surface of this conversation is the first glimmers of an attraction between Elizabeth and Richard.
ACT 2:
The plan: Elizabeth, denying any budding feelings, continues to try and “reign Richard in,” by questioning his grade on a particular student’s paper. As they discuss this, the conversation, though intellectual in nature, has undertones of their growing attraction.
The Plan in action: Philip Monahan, who sees Richard as a renegade thinker, wonders how the more conventional Elizabeth is dealing with him. She assures Philip that she is handling Richard. But Philip warns her that Richard will keep them on their toes.
Midpoint Turning Point After Richard and Elizabeth find themselves at the same coffee shop off campus, they have a more intimate conversation about their pasts. Elizabeth is becoming more consciously aware of her attraction, though she denies it to her friend, Barbara. What changes everything is when Richard turns up, soon after, at Elizabeth’s home, ostensibly to review final student grades, but really to declare his feelings to Elizabeth. He kisses her. Despite herself, she kisses him back. She then kicks him out!
ACT 3:
Rethink everything: What now?? The university rules state that anyone with a relationship with a student must report it to administration and must end it, along with having others grade or advise them.
New plan: She determines that the kiss was a big mistake, but it’s not too late to turn things around. She meets with him once to tell him that that will “never happen again” and that they can still have a working relationship.
Turning Point: All is Lost: Despite Elizabeth’s attempts to dissuade Richard, he refuses to give up, and calls her on the phone, enlists the aid of her friend, Barbara, etc. Finally her turns up at her house and although she tries to tell him why it cannot work, they end up giving in to their mutual passion. Shortly after this, Philip Monohan puts the pieces together. Will he report her?
ACT 4:
Climax: The Test. Elizabeth realizes that she is in love with Richard. She must decide if her heart is more important than her ethical standards. She tells Barbara how torn she is, and how she’s hanging on by her fingernails. At last, the heart wins out and she goes to Richard telling him she’s willing to risk her job for their love. At which point, Richard declares he will be leaving the university, so that she won’t be forced to make this kind of sacrifice of her ethics.
Resolution: What Elizabeth has truly learned is that, despite her formerly inflexible and judgmental ways, that things are not always black and white, and that human beings, when it comes to the struggles of heart and mind, are fallible, and not always capable of being rational. It has softened her rigidity and brought a whole new dimension to both her personality and her teaching.
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What I learned from this assignment was that a romantic “antagonist” is looking to change the protagonist. Also, I do see other antagonists in this story (the institution of the university, for example, and a fellow professor), but I imagine there will be other lessons during which we can explore those things.
Dale’s Character Interviews
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>QUESTIONS FOR YOUR PROTAGONIST
Tell
me about yourself. My name is Elizabeth Drewer. I am 44 years old and a professor of
philosophy.
Why
do you think you were called to this journey? Why you? Well, I
have standards. Something I think
is more and more rare these days. And I am a feminist – I believe women
can do anything men can.
Who
(and what) are you up against . What is it about them that makes this
journey even more difficult for you?
I was so clear about where I stood regarding sexual misconduct
(consensual or otherwise) and then I met Richard. I have not ever felt
this degree of passion before. I
don’t know what to do with it!
In
order to survive or accomplish this, you are going to have to step way
outside of your box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them
will be the most difficult? My first inclination is to run! Far away from him and from the feelings
he inspires in me! But I can’t. We are both at the university. We both have our jobs! I am going to have to figure out a way
to handle (or do I just give in??) these feelings.
What
habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let
go of? It is hardest to let go
of certainty. I felt safe knowing
what was what. How do I deal with
not being sure anymore?
What
fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back? I will admit since my brother’s suicide,
I have been very careful not to ever get “carried away.” I have this unspoken fear that if I let
an emotion take me over, I won’t be able to come back from it. And now… here I am in just such a
situation!
What
skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this
conflict or antagonist? I do
still have my powers of analysis. I
can still look at this situation rationally. I know, for example, that
Richard is experiencing transference.
Giving it a name makes it feel more manageable.
What
are you hiding from the other characters? What don’t you want them to
know? I am hiding that I am falling more and more under Richard’s
spell. I long for him with a
longing I haven’t known before – even with my husband.
Tell
me your side of this whole conflict / story. My side is that I have to decide if I
choose my career or choose him. I’m
not sure I can have both of them! Or…
do I choose to hide this affair, when I have condemned others for the same
behavior?
What
does it do for your life if you succeed here? But what is success? For rationality to finally prevail and
he will go on and fall in love with some student his age? Or for me to
give in, and experience a once-in-a-lifetime passion?<div>QUESTIONS FOR YOUR ANTAGONIST
Tell
me about yourself. Soy Richard
Amado, graduate student in philosophy.
Having
to do with this journey, what are your strengths and weaknesses? My strengths are my intelligence, but
also my ability to charm and persuade.
Why
are you committed to making the Protagonist fail? Or for a relationship
movie, why are you committed to making them change? I am committed to Elizabeth seeing that
what we feel for each other is worth the risk to our jobs.
What
do you get out of winning this fight / succeeding in your plan / taking
down your competition? I get
the woman I love.
What
drives you toward your mission / agenda, even in the face of danger, ruin,
or death? I know that I may get
kicked out of the university if someone finds out. That risk is better than us having to
report our relationship to the administration – in which case, we would
either have to stop seeing each other – or I would need to find another
prof to work under, another thesis advisor. But it’s a small dept. would this even
be possible?
What
secrets must you keep to succeed? What other secrets do you keep out
of fear / insecurity? I have to keep secret from Prof. Philip Monahan and
other professors (and students) my true feelings toward Elizabeth.
Compared
to other people like you, what makes you special? I know how to reach students where they
are – to make philosophy exciting and relevant to today’s world.
Tell
me your side of this whole conflict / story. This kind of love doesn’t come along
that often. Yes, I know she’s 14
years older than me. It doesn’t
matter! I know she thinks it’s all
transference and will fade, but I think it’s here to stay. This is not some passing infatuation,
this is true love. I just have to
convince her it is worth fighting for.
</div> -
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of choosing characters that are right for the story.
Dale’s Character Profile Part 2
ELIZABETH DREWER – PROTAGONIST:
What draws us to this character?
There is a sense from the start Elizabeth is someone whose disciplined and rational views toward herself and others is going to be challenged.
Traits:
Brilliant, analytical, authoritative, thoughtful, inspirational
Subtext:
Hides whatever doubts or troubling thoughts she has with logic and rationality
Flaw:
She is a “walking head” – lives her life mostly in her mind.
Values:
Education, structure, intellectual exploration, ethics, inspiration
Irony:
The irony is that by cutting off the more unpredicatable emotional parts of herself, they emerge in combat with her mind, rather than in harmony.
What makes this the right character for this role?
The story is about the balance between heart and mind, between judging and understanding, between a stringent world view vs a more fluid one. Elizabeth is the right character to embody this story as she must grow from certainty to doubt and from an imbalance weighted in the direction of the mind to one more equally weighted between rational and emotional.
What draws us to this character?
There is a sense from the start Elizabeth is someone whose disciplined and rational views toward herself and others is going to be challenged.
Traits:
Brilliant, analytical, authoritative, thoughtful, inspirational
Subtext:
Hides whatever doubts or troubling thoughts she has with logic and rationality
Flaw:
She is a “walking head” – lives her life mostly in her mind.
Values:
Education, structure, intellectual exploration, ethics, inspiration
Irony:
The irony is that by cutting off the more unpredicatable emotional parts of herself, they emerge in combat with her mind, rather than in harmony.
What makes this the right character for this role?
The story is about the balance between heart and mind, between judging and understanding, between a stringent world view vs a more fluid one. Elizabeth is the right character to embody this story as she must grow from certainty to doubt and from an imbalance weighted in the direction of the mind to one more equally weighted between rational and emotional.
RICHARD AMADO – ANTAGONIST
What draws us to this character?
Richard is charismatic, a renegade in the way he thinks and teaches. Someone who pushes the envelope. He is as dedicated to philosophy as Elizabeth is, but what will happen when their two styles come into conflict?
Traits:
Brilliant, challenges status quo, funny, entertaining, very charming
Subtext:
There is not much hiding of his thoughts and feelings, but he is able to bring logic to bear when unwilling to show his vulnerabilities.
Flaw:
Does he push spontaneity and unconventionality in teaching too far?
Values:
Intellectual exploration (through connecting philosophy to life) inspiration, education, union of mind, body, spirit, sensuality
Irony:
The irony is that in his pursuit of Elizabeth and and his emotional certainty, he not always allowing his own rational side to make better decisions on behalf of both of them.
What makes this the right character for this role?
If Elizabeth is the rationalist, Richard is the romantic. His Mexican heritage (with its music and “magic realism”) and travels abroad ( including living in an Ashram) have made him into quite the iconoclast. He is the right character to challenge Elizabeth both intellectually and emotionally.
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Dale’s Character Profiles Part 1
What I learned doing this assignment was the importance of finding my protagonist’s wound, something I hadn’t much contemplated. And I loved that the antagonist can be a change agent!
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Role of protagonist
Elizabeth Dreweris an explorer. In her teaching and her articles she pushes the intellectual boundaries of philosophy. What she has explored less in her life, is the value, also, of one’s emotions. Her journey will involve this new kind of “exploration.”
Role of antagonist
Richard Amado, is a change agent. The attraction that Richard and Elizabeth feel for each other will force Elizabeth out of her well delineated set of standards into an unpredictable and hard-to-control state of passionate infatuation.
Other characters:
Supporting characters: Barbara, colleague and best friend; Philip, fellow philosophy prof; Marshall, ex-husband; Amanda, victim of a predatory professor.
Minor roles: a few students in Richard’s class
Background characters: non-speaking students, in lecture hall and Richard’s class
Genre:
Drama, Forbidden Love Story
Role in the story:
Age range and Description: Elizabeth is 42-45 years old, attractive (though she places more importance on her mind than her looks), a classic sense of style, graceful
Internal Journey: certainty and high-minded ethical stance to embracing ambiguities
External Journey: strictly believing in university rules to realizing there are many grey areas that are not so easily defined.
Motivation: Her want is to retain her certainty about her life and her beliefs, her (contrary) need is to expand into a less judgmental, rigid person and learn heart is as important as mind.
Wound: She lost a brother to suicide (he was a teen) – which made her suspect out-of-control emotions, and to want to protect her own feelings through the use of stringent rationalism.
Mission/Agenda: She is a proponent of the Me Too movement and supports any actions that seem to protect students against predatory fellow students or professors. She also is driven to teach critical thinking skills to her students.
Secret: She is falling in love with one of her graduate students.
What makes them special: She is brilliant, a damn good teacher and respected contributor to the field of philosophy.
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Dale’s transformational journey.
What I learned doing this assignment is culling what I know about my protagonist into more succinct descriptions of the primary elements of her journey.
My hero is Professor Elizabeth Drewer caught up in how the Me Too movement affects the life of her university and ultimately comes to affect her own personal life in transformative ways.
Her internal journey is from certainty and high-minded ethical stances to realizing not everything is black and white.
Her external journey is from strictly supporting university rules concerning “consensual relationships” and condemning those who break them, to falling for a graduate student who woos her and thus being tempted to break those rules herself.
Her old ways: Judgmental. Lives in her head. Logical. Unbending. Perfectionistic. Black and white thinking.
Her new ways: No longer sure of everything. More forgiving of human failings. Can embrace ambiguities. Now has a balance or heart and mind.
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Hello, I’m Dale (that’s a female, not a male Dale). I have written 8 short film scripts and 3 feature-length film scripts. Six of my short scripts were produced (three of which I also directed) and have gone to multiple film festivals, winning some awards. I spent a number of years as a playwright – multiple short plays produced, and two full length scripts produced, one full-length workshopped. What I hope to get from the class is 1) firming up writing a transformational story 2) writing more quickly than I usually do. Unusual about me? I got a masters degree in Romance Lingustics and Literature. As such, I speak French fluently, Spanish well, some Italian, and even a smattering of Greek. Love learning languages!
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I know. I’m having the same problem re formatting.
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Yes, Eugene. Back in the day when I taught languages, I learned indeed that some people have a certain inborn knack for learning a foreign language (not that it is an easy process but they have that going in) and some do not. I play piano and guitar, and I think having a musical ear makes pronunciation of foreign sounds easier. (I.e., an imitative ear.) When I am speaking French, in particular, it’s almost like acting the role of a French person – it feels like a different way of being.
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Thanks, Becky! Looking forward to seeing what you work on in the class as well!