[David Beedon]

Module 1 – Lesson 1

4. What I learned doing this assignment is…?

A way to codify the objectives of good writing. If the 5 Star Points are created powerfully enough you are unlikely to run into problems turning a story into a good one.

1. The Night of

Naz is a college student with enough smarts to tutor some of the basketball players. Even if they’re reluctant to learn. He gets invited to a party on Friday night.

We meet his whole Muslim family. Who is domineering and traditional. In contrast to Naz.

When his friend bails on picking up Naz for the party, Naz steals his father’s taxi.

Naz is no taxi driver and doesn’t know his way around town. We are privileged to surveillance camera noting his location. Riding with the “Off Duty” lights not illuminated results in getting yelled at. And worse, two men jump in his parked taxi. Naz tries to get them to leave but it takes cops stopping and coming to his aid before they will get out.

When a pretty young woman gets in the cab, Naz becomes less inclined to have her get out.

She’s mysterious and enchanting enough for Naz to drive where she asks.

They head to the “beach” grabbing gas and drinks (beer & water) on the way. At the gas station the woman tosses a cigarette out the window and a customer at the station gives her shit for it.

Again Naz is caught on surveillance cameras.

They get to the beach (docks under the bridge) and the woman wishes she could just transport herself somewhere else – something bad happens and you’re over there. She offers drugs to Naz who reluctantly takes them after she pleads not to be alone tonight.

They go to her house. Walking in they cross paths with two black men who make Islamaphobic comments.

Inside Naz confesses to being allergic to cats and dogs. The woman lets her cat out the back door, which doesn’t seem very secure.

There’s more drinking, drugs, excitement. Naz hasn’t had an experience like this before. The woman plays mumbly peg on herself. He resists, but joins. Then together they play, he with knife to her hand resulting in stabbing her hand. To which she doesn’t seem to mind or feel the pain (drugs?). This leads to them jumping into bed. ( I knew a woman like this, it did not end well)

Naz wakes in the kitchen with no understanding why/how he got there. Going up to the bedroom to collect his things he finds the woman brutally stabbed. He freaks. He collects what he can remember to take. Which does not include his keys. He leaves the apartment and has to break back in to collect them. This gets a neighbor’s attention. Inside he grabs the knife and a few other things before fleeing to his cab which has a parking ticket on it. (Timeline establishers)

He makes a traffic violation and gets pulled over. He smells of everything he’s had that night and one of the cops wants to detain him even when the cops get another call. They bring Naz to the new scene.

Naz has to stay in the car as more cops arrive on the scene. They discover the body and call in the CSU, coroner, etc. Throughout all this, Naz has to watch from the car.

They call in Box. A grizzled late-in-career detective.

Box orders they send Naz to the precinct. On the drive Naz confesses to nothing, but asks, “Is she dead?”

Naz has to sit and wait out whatever is to become of him in the precinct. The usual assortment of hookers, drunks, etc. populate the night shift. All the while Box investigates the scene. Naz is a fish-out-of-water in the station. And nervous AF. Made more so when he discovered the knife on him.

His brother discovers Naz’s unmade bed. He wakes his father.

The Islamaphobic man returns to the crime scene and proves incapable of keeping his mouth shut. He gets taken in.

Naz’s family starts to search for him.

Naz attempts to walk out of the precinct twice but gets cut off twice.

He gets a reprieve as it’s too late to blow. He’s going to get freed but is frisked while the Box recounts the incident and clues land on the overzealous cop. She finds the knife. Naz tries to escape – pointless. Islamophobic black guy IDs him in the mêlée.

Naz’s interrogation begins.

The usual, no rights read, no request for a lawyer, let’s get him talking before he gets smart. And Naz is not smart in this kind of moment no matter how smart he may be in academics. He recounts his tragic version of the events. Admits to being scared. And can’t remember things between sex and death.

He gets processed. Humiliating and embarrassing. And confirms the police already have made up their minds about him. Though Box tries to come off as someone who cares. CSU continues their processing of Naz. More embarrassment and humiliation. Box continues to tell Naz how a jury will react to any argument or resistance to his processing, yet a lawyer has never been offered. First time I’ve heard penile swab on TV.

Jon Turturro walks in. Deduction by casting – no way Turturro isn’t a major player.

Turturro helps a trans hooker and spies the kid – Naz. The kid looks every bit the part of victim behind bars. Turturro asks about him and can’t believe the charge.

AND music finally comes in. The scene at the beach had interesting SFX that could have been considered score but weren’t. This moment seems the first time emotional, or any score has played.

Turturro takes Naz as a client and tells him the simple reality. Talk to no one. Turturro has eczema, seems to be something that will play later.

Islamophobe black guy – TREVOR! – has been waiting this whole time. None too happy. He never mentions being with someone else. Why?

Turturro learns it’s homicide and it’s Box investigating. It doesn’t sound good.

Naz gets his phone call. Finally. He calls home and tells his father what’s up. His father runs out to find his taxi gone. – BLACK

2. Big Picture Hooks

What is the big hook of this show?

The Big Picture Hook is waking to find your lover dead in bed. Did he/didn’t he kill her?

Amazing and Intriguing Character

What makes these main characters intriguing and interesting?

Naz is only interesting in that I am unfamiliar with Muslim life. The fact that Turturro says, “Like all good Muslim boys, you live with your parents” was news to me. He is otherwise a doe-eyed college student. Interesting/intriguing – not yet.

Turturro’s eczema is not interesting. Intriguing only in that we can’t avoid it so it must be important later. I’m confident he’s an underdog attorney, we’ll see if he’s good or bad.

The victim is/was the most interesting character in that she clearly had a story to tell.

Box is interesting but sadly only in the way most TV detectives are. I’m hoping he doesn’t plan to retire and buy a boat.

Empathy / Distress

What situation causes us to feel both empathy and distress for this character?

I feel most people would empathize with Naz’s FOMO that leads him to steal the taxi and push over the first domino. Obviously the distress comes with the discovery of the murder. Without which we would have a very boring show.

Layers / Open Loops

What questions are created by this first episode that can only be answered by watching the entire season?

Did he/did he not kill the woman?

If not, who did?

How does the justice system come out in this? Ramrodding a young man into submission? Gloriously defending him?

Inviting Obsession – How does this pilot create the need to see every single episode?

There is no way we will learn of his innocence or guilt before the last episode.

The question I have is will this play off my pre-conceived perceptions – Naz seems incapable of being the killer. Am I now on the hunt to confirm my bias? Are they going to deconstruct my bias? Only more episodes will tell.

[David Beedon]

David Beedon

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