[David Bogoslaw]

Subject: David’s SOTL Stacking Suspense

By analyzing the MIS of Silence of the Lambs scene by scene, I learned:

1. A key Character MIS theme for Clarice, that of her proving a woman can be an excellent FBI agent and having to do it mostly on her own, is established from the first scene where she is all alone, running the obstacle course in the Quantico woods. Her outsider status in the FBI’s male-dominated world is established from the querulous gaze of the male agent who informs her that Crawford wants to see her, and is accentuated through the similar looks she gets from men on her way to Crawford’s office, and extends to her treatment by Dr. Chilton. This sets up a major suspense point through the whole film: Is Clarice up to the challenge of holding her own against Lecter’s psychological probes and bringing Buffalo Bill to justice?

2. Intrigue and lack of transparency is built into Clarice’s assignment from Crawford, which generates more suspense: What is Clarice really expected to get from Lecter in that first interview and how is Crawford testing her? This is later explained when Crawford tells her if she had gone in with an agenda, Lecter would have smelled it immediate;y and refused to talk. A tone of intrigue couched in layers of cryptic information is set up early on.

3. Deeply exploring lead characters — their proclivities, talents, vulnerabilities — can generate more genuine MIS than carefully devised plot twists and turns.Have the confidence to create complex, engaging characters that fit well into, or consciously upend, thriller conventions.

4. I can create greater psychological depth by looking for ways to create parallels/pairings between characters, such as Clarice/Catherine Martin and Lecter/Jame.

5. I can generate some character MIS through use of objects and other small details that serve as metaphors for characters’ mindsets or preoccupations. Examples include butterfly chrysalis that BB inserts in victims’ throats and clip pen that Lecter steals from Chilton to advance his escape plan.

6. I can increase the stakes by creating plot points that threaten to derail the hero’s forward progress, such as Senator Martin’s outrage at Crawford/Clarice’s phony relocation promise to Lecter, which leads to FBI losing access to Lecter for further help on BB case. This adds suspense and raises tension in the final encounter between Clarice and Lecter before his escape.

7. Even though the rich soundscape of moth wings fluttering and machine noises (mostly in BB/Jame’s lair) may not be able to be attributed to screenwriter Ted Tally, I can include evocative sounds when I write my actual screenplay that will enhance the audience’s experience of intrigue and dread.

[David Bogoslaw]

David’s BI Stacking Suspense

By analyzing the MIS of Basic Instinct scene by scene, I learned:

1. The stakes don’t need to be spelled out or suggested in every scene early on. They only need to be made clear and increased at particular strategic points in the story. After the murder of Johnny Boz, there is no mention of stakes again until scene 15, when Nick and Beth have sex, about a third of the way through the story. After that, the stakes escalate pretty frequently, but always with variation so they’re not only physical (death or violence) but also involve Nick’s job, psychological balance and reputation.

2. There is a character MIS element in almost every scene. That tells me I should always look for opportunities & ways to reveal new info about any of the lead characters that can directly enhance the audience’s experience. I can do that either by introducing red herring plot & character points, mysterious info that will be come clear later in the story or deeper shades of meaning (such as about the reasons for Nick’s addictions and how they affect his work).

3. Characters’ motivations should be clear and reasonable, even if what the audience thinks they are at any given moment may not prove entirely correct. Basic Instinct’s characters taught be by negative example. I learned from how Catherine and Beth are portrayed what NOT to do. For example, I accept that Catherine uses people and is using her status as a suspect in Johnny’s murder and the access it gives her to Nick and police procedures more broadly as research for her new book. But given her genuine affection for Johnny (even if it was for sex, not love), I don’t buy the extent to which she’s willing to play with police interrogators and Nick specifically, which potentially will slow down their progress in solving the crime. Also, given Catherine’s propensity for research, it makes no sense that she wouldn’t have looked into the current whereabouts of Lisa Hoberman herself and wouldn’t have even a little interest in helping point the police toward someone who maybe trying to frame her. And if we’re to believe Catherine is cold, calculating and manipulative, then her tears at Roxy’s death and lamenting that everyone she cares about ends up dead can’t be taken seriously and don’t deserve any attention from the audience.

4. Beth’s motivations aren’t very credible either. If her same-sex liaisons weren’t just one-offs, why should we believe her jealousy for Nick with regard to Catherine? It’s more likely Beth would be jealous of Catherine with regard to Nick. If so, why would she concoct a scheme that ensures catherine will be put into direct contact with Nick? And assuming the money in Nilson’s bank deposit box was hush money for him to not reveal her police record at Berkeley (Nilson borrowed her file from Berkeley police a year earlier), why wouldn’t a psychopath like Beth have killed him much sooner instead of waiting till after the fight with Nick over Nilson’s possibly selling his IA file to Catherine?

5. Revelations of key information about characters’ pasts need to be paced carefully as the story evolves and should be motivated by present-day action and character inter-dynamics. The gradual leak of details about Catherine’s history at Berkeley and the nature of her connection with Beth/Lisa showed me how I might pace revelations in my own story.

[David Bogoslaw]

David’s World and Characters with M.I.S. (Day 3)

What I learned from this assignment is to give myself as much freedom as possible to cook up a rich stew of mystery, intrigue and suspense in order to provide a satisfying thrill ride for me writing the story and for an audience watching it unfold.

1. My concept is a woman who’s an outsider of her fiance’s religious and business community and determined to discover how he died and how his death/disappearance may be related to his company’s shady business dealings.

Big Mystery: What really happened to Uri on his rock-climbing/business trip and what does it have to do with his company’s business dealings?

Big Intrigue: Uri, after killing a business rival had threatened to expose a fraudulent business scheme, has faked his own death and changed his identity to continue working for his company’s hidden subsidiary overseas and continue to manage illegal business deals.

Big Suspense: How long will Connie avoid suspicion and danger working within Uri’s old company to try to discover how his death is connected to the company’s business deals?

2. The intriguing world of this story is NewYork’s insular Israeli business community and the world of high finance that brings together investment firms (in this case commodities investment) with banks and US government subsidy programs that promote trade with strategic foreign allies. The culture of Mt. Carmel Commodities, where Uri worked, is one that promotes risk-taking by pretending the aim is for employees to fulfill their individual potential but in reality is a culture of subtle and less-subtle coercion that punishes employees who don’t put the company’s interests over their own.

Connie Alinari is the heroine. She has a background in finance, knows what to look for and shoots from the hip, unwilling to suffer fools easily.

A. Mystery of Connie: Can she trust her own instincts/judgment about Uri or will she start accepting others’ contradictory views of him? How will she keep her real objective in working for Mt. Carmel a secret so she can pursue the truth behind the company’s business deals and that’s connected to Uri’s death?

B. Intrigue of Connie: Why was such an independent and intuitive woman attracted to Uri in the first place, and why is her view/understanding of him at odds with those of others who knew him?

C. Suspense of Connie: How will she be able to stay above suspicion by colleagues at Mt. Carmel and how can she avoid getting hurt or killed by digging into the truth of Uri’s death and the company’s business deals?

Uri Kahnemann is the villain. He has manipulated Connie into believing he’s driven not by personal and professional ambition, but by adventure and curiosity about the world beyond his cultural bubble. He’s been forced to kill a business rival who discovered the Mt. Carmel fraud scheme he was involved with and threatened to expose it.

A. Mystery of Uri: Will he get away with what he’s done or will he be discovered? Why did he deceive Connie into believing he would marry her?

B. Intrigue of Uri: Why does he choose to appear in so many different guises to various people in his life? Does he do it to amuse himself, or does he see it as the easiest way to get what he wants from people and realize his own goals?

C. Suspense of Uri: How can he keep eluding exposure by Connie and others pursuing the truth behind Mt. Carme’s business?

Hersh Taubman is Uri’s long-time friend who works for a major bank that has lent Mt. Carmel money for its commodities trading deals. He is the only one of Uri’s friends or associates who Connie has met socially and the person who broke the news to her of Uri’s death in a rock-climbing accident. When Connie discovers he has business ties with Mt. Carmel, she worries that he may expose her.

Mystery of Hersh: Does he know what really happened to Uri during his trip and is he assisting Uri’s coverup?

Intrigue of Hersh: Are his deepening relationship with Connie and efforts to make her aware of who Uri really was designed to protect her and get her to give up her quest, or designed to win her over for himself?

Suspense of Hersh: Is he trying to help or hinder Connie’s investigation into what happened to Uri? Is he aware of the depths of Mt. Carmel’s illegal business dealings and biding his time to help expose them, or complicit in them for his own gain?

[David Bogoslaw]

Logline: A woman from outside her dead fiance’s tribe, whose relationship with him was hidden from his family and colleagues, tries to find out what really happened to him during an overseas trip.

What I learned by doing this assignment is how critical it is to be clear about what the motivations and stakes are for each major character and to let them inform the dramatic structure of the story.

Conventions of my story:

1. Unwitting/resourceful hero: Connie Alinari, who believes someone at her dead fiance’s commodities trading company, knows something about the mysterious circumstances of his death overseas and goes undercover at the company to learn what happened.

2. Dangerous villain: Uri Feldman, Connie’s fiance, who has faked his death and changed his identity after killing a business rival who was onto his company’s fraudulent business scheme, and had no intention of marrying outside his tribe and upsetting family tradition.

3. High stakes: For the villains, the future of the commodities firm and the ability of its officers to elude detection of their scheme by government authorities. For the hero, her safety and possibly her life.

4. Life & death situations: Threats against Connie as she learns more details about the company’s questionable business dealings and Uri’s “death.”

5. This story is thrilling because of multiple mysteries that compel Connie to dig deeper into Uri’s death, which may involve hidden business dealings of his company, and forces hr to confront apparent contradictions in his character that she finds troubling and confusing.

M.I.S.

Big Mystery: What really happened to Uri on his hiking excursion and what does it have to do with shady business dealings at the company he worked for?

Big Intrigue: Uri, having killed a business rival who was blackmailing him in exchange for not publicly disclosing a fraudulent business scheme, has faked his own death and changed his identity, working inside an unknown subsidiary of the commodities firm where he worked, where he continues to manage illegal business dealings.

Big Suspense: Connie draws unwanted attention from company officers and an escalating series of threats to convince her to stop trying to find out what happened to Uri and the truth behind his company’s nefarious business dealings.

[David Bogoslaw]

David Bogoslaw

I agree to the terms of tis release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[David Bogoslaw]

David Bogoslaw

I agree to the terms of this release form.

[David Bogoslaw]

The Long Goodbye – Thriller Conventions

What I learned from analyzing this Robert Altman film is that a little mystery and a bunch of unanswered questions can go a long way toward providing a thrilling ride for an audience even in the absence of very high stakes and tension-filled life & death situations.

Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Philip Marlowe

Dangerous Villain: On the surface, Marty Augustine, a gangster, who exhibits the most violence but actually has little to do with the central mystery. The real villain is Terry Lennox, who we think has committed suicide early on and is absent for most of the film.

High Stakes: Initially, Marlowe is arrested as a possible accessory to murder after the fact for driving his friend Terry Lennox to the US/Mexico border while knowing very little of why he needs to flee the country. After a few days in jail, once it becomes known that Lennox seems to have committed suicide, Marlowe is released from custody without having any charges hanging over him. Once Marty Augustine enters the story, the stakes become Marlowe being held responsible for recovering $355K in cash that Lennox “stole” from Augustine.

Life & Death Situations: There’s an implicit threat to Marlowe’s life if he can’t recover the stolen money for Augustine, but that’s not what motivates Marlowe’s actions. He really wants to find out what happened to his fiend (he doesn’t believe he committed suicide) and exonerate him for his wife’s murder, which Marlowe doesn’t believe Lennox committed.

The movie is thrilling in 3 ways: (1) because of the intertwining character relationships that Marlowe uncovers while looking for Lennox, making audience realize there a deeper layers t the story than we first thought; (2) because of some character’s surprising behavior, which keeps shifting the power relationships among them; and (3) because of what may be the ultimate fish-out-of-water conceit — Marlowe being reconceived as a Rip Van Marlowe, a man out of time, with 1940s values and matching approach to his job who’s forced to navigate through the unfamiliar society of the early 1970s.

The big mystery: What happened to Terry Lennox after Marlowe dropped him off at Tijuana border and who killed Lennox’s wife?

The big intrigue: What do Eileen Wade, who’s hired Marlowe to find her missing husband, and Roger Wade have to do with Lennox and how might they be connected to his wife’s murder?

The big suspense: Will Marlowe find Lennox and uncover his wife’s killer?

Another element that makes The Long Goodbye a great thriller is what Marlowe chooses to do once he catches up with Lennox. It’s a complete surprise but totally logical given the care taken to establish Marlowe’s moral code and “old-fashioned” values regarding friendship.

[David Bogoslaw]

Hi all,

I’m David Bogoslaw, a journalist and editor based in Brooklyn.

I’ve written, directed and produced 3 short films/videos and have written one original feature screenplay that is best forgotten.

In addition to working on a thriller script, I’ve been writing a TV pilot.

Glad to be here.

[David Bogoslaw]

Jeff Bryce — I haven’t responded to other class members before this, but I encourage you to keep going to make the most of this course. I’m not expecting any magical feedback to help me work out the kinks or throw out entire ideas of my own story. I’m confident I’ll learn how to do that mostly by repeatedly interrogating whatever I do and trusting myself to discover what works and doesn’t. Trust the process, and maybe more importantly, your own process.