Replies – Forums – David gollob

David gollob

Member

November 23, 2024 at 1:54 am in reply to: Introduce yourself to the class.

hi I’m David g, and some of you know me from previous classes and from toastmasters…}I have written five scripts of which only one was deemed by me to be marketable… the others were abandoned or put on hold,,, I still have hope for some of them… however I was excited by the idea of using AI in brainstorm stage, and so I hope to produce a completed outline of something that is outside my comfort zone thru this class.
on unusual things about me: a former correspondent for BBC, NPR, the Times, today I live in Medellin, Colombia : backdrop for tv series such as Narcos and stuff about Pablo Escobar, whose death in 1993 continues to be a subject of controversy, just as Colombia continues to export cocaine to the world…

David gollob

Member

November 23, 2024 at 12:30 am in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

I, David Norman Gollob, agree to the terms of the confidentiality agreement,
signed today, nov, 22 2024:

David gollob

Member

July 8, 2024 at 9:55 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

Hi Cheryl and everyone. Thanks for the opportunity to say a little bit about me: born in i Montreal I have finally settled in Medellin, Antioquía where I manage the discomfort and hardship of a neurodegenerative disease for which there is no cure using a new method: enjoyment of the world I’m in, bathed in the love and care I get from the people of this enchanted place without asking much in exchange, and from the one and only significant other to grace me here living the romcom of my life!!!A screenwriter since 2019; have been studying with Hal since 2020, (proseries, wim , binge worthy, and many others). I took this course to learn the techniques of romcom. So far of the two completed scripts one made quarterfinals at PAGE and got mentions and awards at many unmentionables my problem is finishing the stuff I start. Unique thing: before disease killed it I was a singer/songwriter with music videos shot in France with French actresses and crews. We had a blast!!!

David gollob

Member

July 8, 2024 at 8:52 pm in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

I, David Gollob, hereby agree to the terms of the confidentiality agreement

David gollob

Member

July 3, 2024 at 9:53 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the group

Thanks Michael

David gollob

Member

June 8, 2024 at 7:35 pm in reply to: Lesson 2

David Gollob´s Marketable components:

DnGollob´s marketable concepts
Logline: A sci-thriller set against the grimy chic of Medellin, Colombia, “Nerves… of Glass” tells what happens when the formula for a breakthrough cure for Parkinson´s is stolen and turned into the “next cocaine” by a ruthless druglord
What I learned doing this assignment is to focus on “less is more”
1. Unique: Never-been-done-or-seen combination of a Medellin cartel yarn and the sci-thriller genre
2. Great Title: “nerves of glass”, is intriguing. Reflects the subject matter and the emotional anguish of the characters.
3. True to life: Grounded in contemporary reality of a city haunted by the legacy of Pablo Escobar
4. Timely: Resonates with current themes of drugs and corruption.
5. It’s a First: highly original concept, never been done
6. Ultimate: N/A
7. Wide Audience Appeal: strong love story with ethical dilemmas
8. Similarity to Box-Office Success: N/A
9. Great RoleS for Bankable ActorS: EVA LONGORIA OR SOFIA VERGARA AS MELISSA; JAVIER BARDEM AS HARRY will bring star power, talent and authenticity to the script

This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by David gollob. Reason: Screwy formatting when cut and paste from word

David gollob

Member

June 4, 2024 at 8:01 pm in reply to: Lesson 1

Title: (nerves of glass) thriller, Market to indie producers with access to $$$ and Lit Managers
concept/hook: the cure for parkinsons turns into ¨the next cocaine ´ after a cartel boss steals the formula
tell us what you think is most attractive about your story: it´s never been done before, set in Medellin, Colombia, the script eschews cliches about Escobar´s legacy while thriving in his shadow..,, like the city itself.. The writer has the disease and beats the odds, as does his heroine…

3. i will target Lit managers first, having ¨met¨¨a few of them online, i have identified some like-minded ones… i want this to be recognized as a major filmscript, from an older writer who will possibly offer 5 more before he croaks….

4. “What I learned today is…i have what it takes to succeed”

David gollob

Member

June 4, 2024 at 7:30 pm in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

i, David Gollob, hereby agree to the release form in. its entirety…

David gollob

Member

June 4, 2024 at 6:57 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the group

Hi I´m David Gollob, I´ve completed one script, have started and put aside several others… i suffer from a chronic neurodegenerative illness, and, like Michael } Fox, my life is a daily battle to NOT let it take over… there is no cure for Parkinson´s, except in my filmscript… but before you take out your Kleenex, i have a wonderful life here in Medellin, Colombia, i´m surrounded by warm, loving people who put up with my moods, including my fiancée – she calls me her ¨grumpy¨ and life is truly awesome…. i´m hoping to get the tools to take my pitching and writing to the next level… and i have every expectation that the results will amaze us all…i look forward to learning from and working with all of you…

David gollob

Member

November 4, 2022 at 3:10 am in reply to: Day 3 Assignments

what I learned: red herrings are good…

Intriguing World : nuclear power plant in middle of war with Ukraine; target and prize

1. Solly Golubic, unwitting hero, saves Masha, his estranged wife, and the plant by disobeying orders, eventually. This, ultimately, is his REAL mission.

A. Why did Putin choose him personally? Because of his conflicted persona (AND he knows how to make dirty bombs”?) Putin knows his sexual secrets, as well as Masha’s…
B. suspense? Will he be discovered? Will he be killed before he discovers and completes his (real) mission?
C. Intrigue? He’s half-Jewish too. And half-Ukrainian. Conflicting loyalties. Whom will he betray? Putin, or Masha?

2. Simeon Markov – “friend” and “helper” to Solly. Real RED HERRING…

Why is he so “helpful?”

What does Solly do when “instructed” to kill him? And why does Putin want him dead?

Why does Solly kill his “friend”?

3.Vladimir Putin: has he really had intimate carnal knowledge of Masha? Or is it just another bluff?

What is his game plan for the nuke plant,and why does he need Solly to help him?

Why does he “instruct” Solly to kill Masha? And how does this play into putin’s plot to “save the Jews” and then kill them all? Beginning with her…

David gollob

Member

November 1, 2022 at 2:09 am in reply to: Day 2 Assignments

Gollob’s BIG MIS

what i learned is: let your imagination run wild

Kill, as instructed

A contained political action thriller

Logline: while his estranged adult daughter is held hostage, during the war with Ukraine, a Russian intelligence officer is personally assigned by Vladimir Putin to the largest nuclear plant in Europe. What is his mission beyond “kill, as instructed”? what is Putin’s plan for the plant? Why does he want to crush Ukraine? and why is he determined to “save” the Jews?

.

What are the conventions of your story?

• Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Solly Golubic does not know he will save the nuclear plant from destruction

• Dangerous Villain: Vladimir Putin is the evil mastermind of the invasion of Ukraine, working on the justifications for years: “All doers of evil feel they are justified in their actions, and will invent fables to prove themselves right.” If jews had not existed, hitler said he “would have invented them.”

• High stakes: seen with suspicion by everyone, Russians and Ukes alike try to kill him, while he thinks he can save Masha, his daughter, from torture, abuse and death. Also at stake is the nuclear plant and safety of Europe, and of Ukraine…

• Life and death situations: Conscious of his apparent personal connection with Putin, enemies must work in underhanded ways to kill him. Such as using the nuclear poison “Fortuna,” produced at the plant. And when that appears to fail, guns…

• This story is thrilling because? We never know what’s going to happen next,,,

2. Tell us the Big M.I.S. of your story?

• Big Mystery: What is the main mystery of your story that will keep us wondering throughout the story? Putin’s plan: nuclear havoc, but get the Jews out. And why the Jews? Because saving them buttresses his fable about Ukraine run by neo-nazis…

• Big Intrigue: What is the covert, clandestine, underhanded plot that will live under the surface for most of the movie? Saving the Jews serves Putin’s ends,,,a secret deal with Israel… and his “heroism” as saviour of Jews… a neo-Schindler? But they will all be killed in the end as if he were a real nazi…

• Big Suspense: What is the main danger to your Hero that will continue to escalate throughout the script? That Putin betrays him… and he does, small time to big time. Betrayal is his middle name. (Book of Job…) And hero is a Jew too…Putin really hates them!

David gollob

Member

October 28, 2022 at 5:49 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself To the Group

hi all, i’m David Gollob, i’ve completed one script ready for market, with two others in embryon.

i hope to produce a thriller map leading me to write the best script I have ever done in terms of immediate marketability.

i am a former TV journalist, currently living in Medellin, Colombia. i have a debilitating neurodegenerative illness, impacting movement, though without tremor, and i need to work fast before it affects my cognitive function, as it is expected to do, eventually.

This is my daily reality, NOT a plea for sympathy, for i am grateful for what life has brought me: love, and happiness. i look forward to sharing my work with you, and providing feedback to anyone interested in sharing their work with me!

Friend me on Facebook to learn more…

David gollob

Member

October 28, 2022 at 4:15 pm in reply to: Day 1 Assignments

FRACTURED Thriller conventions

“what I learned” is even a dark psychological thriller can use standard techniques to shock and surprise, such as explosions, but driven by the plot : here: an explosion in the OR caused by gas escaping from a tube hit by a bullet from Monroe’s gun. Also the importance of set-ups of Reveals and layers…

In the opening scene, the hero, Roy Monroe, is in the middle of an argument with his wife, during the homeward drive from an unhappy thanksgiving dinner with her parents, blissfully unaware of the chain of events that will force him into this role, using fighting skills, and iron determination to save his family from:

The dangerous villain(s) – the doctors in the state hospital in the middle of Nowhere, USA, who carve out live organs from accident victims and walk-ins like Monroe’s daughter, presumably for sale on the black market.

The stakes are as high as one could make them: the lives of his wife and child.

He is doing speed limit on the highway, angering other drivers – and one who swerves in front of him gives us the first life-threatening situation invoking mystery behind his caution (back-story: his first wife, pregnant, was killed in a head-on crash eight years prior and he was DUI.) Other life-threatening situations include the mysterious disappearance of his family (presumably) for organ-harvesting, and his violent fights with security and police to save them.

This movie is thrilling because we are ultimately led to question Monroe’s sanity, as he himself does, when confronted with convincing evidence (the cover-up). We become more and more unsure of his grip on reality, even until the ambiguous ending. Did he really manage to save his family or is he guilty of killing them, as police eventually conclude? Interestingly, this doubt is never completely resolved.

Big mystery: what is really going on on the lower level of the hospital?

Intrigue: clues become increasingly ambiguous as his grip on reality is tested

Big suspense: is he going to find/save them? Are they already dead?

David gollob

Member

October 28, 2022 at 4:10 pm in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

David Gollob, I agree to the terms of this release form

David gollob

Member

July 23, 2022 at 5:51 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

hi all: my name is David Gollob and i’ve written two feature scripts.

in France during the pandemic, i wrote produced, directed, and co-starred in three short films, based on songs i’ve written, among them Who Calls the Trains, set in wartime France in tribute to victims of the holocaust… it has garnered several accolades (you can see it here):

https://youtu.be/cnWHkR1kFKM

i hope to learn how to choose and develop projects that are riveting and thus highly marketable across both Americas.

i am a little unique or unusual in that this is my 4th career. I am a Canadian who lives in South America, as a climate refugee(!) from France, Spain, Sicily, and of course my “home” country… i speak 5 languages and feel enormously enriched by this… which is good, because i struggle – literally – with a neurodegenerative disorder – and take sunshine at face value…

This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by David gollob. Reason: tooting my own horn

David gollob

Member

July 23, 2022 at 5:31 pm in reply to: Day 5 Assignments

Gollob’s 4-Act transformational structure

My vision: to learn to write, pitch and sell marketable scripts

“What I learned doing this assignment is that by doing this I’m halfway towards completing an outline”

title: Pablo and Me: or Money has no Friends – inspired by/based on a true story

Concept: a gay young woman journeys from rags to riches and rags again, helped by the beneficience of a drug king, yet undermined by her Mom’s gambling addiction…

Act 1:

Opening: little Emilia, 8 years old, is befriended by Pablo Escobar, at the local soccer pitch. They kick the ball around, he gives her 2000$ in banknotes; she shows money to her mom who gives her a beating for “lying” about its provenance; steals the money and loses it at the casino.

She carries on with Pablo, meeting him once a week at the soccer pitch, he gives her money every time, but now she is forewarned and hides it from her Mom <div>

Inciting Incident: 9 years later, Escobar no longer in the picture – he is “imprisoned”at “the Cathedral” – her mom finds her stash of hundreds of millions of pesos and steals it from her, stealing her dream of building her Mom a house with all this cash. Mom promptly loses the money binging day and night at the Casino…

Turning Point: they lose everything when the mountain stream beside the house floods it during the rainy season; demanding more cash, her mom beats her up again, she leaves home for life on the streets, but comes home crying after she is solicited by a “chulo” – pimp, who threatens her with violence… her mom coldly accepts her back,admonishing her to go out there and make “plata” – money, I don’t care how you do it… She looks in vain for Escobar, her secret benefactor…

Act 2:

New plan: Instead, she finds and flirts with one of his key lieutenants, Santi. </div>

Plan in action. She goes to work for Santi, juggling his attraction to her, her hope of making enough $$ to buy her mom a house, finally, her hopes of getting closer again to Pablo, and her unrequited crush on the lovely Camila, the only other young woman in Santi’s gang. Within weeks, she makes enough to buy a little car and a down payment on an apartment in a condo tower for her and her mom; they move in…

Midpoint Turning Point: Santi, provoked by her flirtatious behaviour, attempts to rape her violently; after a struggle, she shoots him in the head.

<div>

Act 3:

Rethink everything: on orders from Pablo the gang “disappears” the body;</div><div>

New plan: camila asserts her control over the gang, with pablo’s blessing; she reassures Emilia who is scared of p’s anger after Santi’s cousin demands revenge; meanwhile, Franco, a DEA agent infatuated with Camila gets her to agree to give him up…

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Camila is brutally assaulted after being seen with Franco, and dies in her arms. Last words: “whatever you do, don’t run.” Pablo summons Emilia to “settle scores.”

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: terrified, Emilia chooses not to run, but to face him; thinking on her feet she triggers his memory of the little girl he played soccer with years ago… and: he spares her life!</div>

But her mom has meantime racked up huge gambling debts and is threatened with death if she doesn’t pay within 8 days. Emilia sells her little car and the apartment she had bought with her earnings to save her mother’s life…

Resolution: they are back in poverty, but they are still alive! And so there is hope; Emilia reveals to her mother she is lesbian; her mother accepts her, with love…She forgives her mother’s abusive behaviour and gambling addiction.

David gollob

Member

July 18, 2022 at 2:21 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

David Gollob

i have two feature scripts

i want to pitch a limited series to streamers.

you can read about me on imdb:

https://pro.imdb.com/name/nm12579734?ref_=nm_nv_usr_profile

David gollob

Member

June 14, 2022 at 5:04 pm in reply to: Day 3 Assignments

David’s Transformational journey

Vision: I will learn this craft and be successful at telling and selling my stories to world audiences

What I learned from doing this assignment is… be patient, the pieces will come together, at the outset you can’t see the whole thing necessarily all at once, which is why you need to build it piece by piece…

Genre: true life/drama

Title (s) : Pablo and Me OR Money has No Friends

Concept: Emilia, a 17 year-old “collector” for Pablo Escobar shoots and kills one of his main lieutenants (Santi) when he drunkenly attempts to rape her; convinced she will pay with her life, she gets Pablo to spare her by triggering a memory of when she knew him as a child.

2. Tell us the Character Arc for your Protagonist:

Arc Beginning: in awe of Pablo, easily manipulated, victimized by men

Arc Ending: demands to be treated on equal terms by everyone, stands up for herself, comes out of the “closet” as Lesbian

3. Give us their Internal/External Journey.

Internal Journey: from shy to admit she likes girls, to proud Lesbian

External Journey:from rags to riches to rags and then working honestly, legally, a comfortable happy life

Tell us their Old Ways at the beginning of the movie and their New Ways at the end.

Old Ways: rules are for “stupids” nobody follows them, why should I?

I can do whatever I want and get away with it…

New Ways: it’s better to live by the rules and not have to look over your shoulder all the time

David gollob

Member

June 10, 2022 at 6:41 pm in reply to: Day 2 Assignments

David Gollob’s Intentional leads – for concepts see below: these character loglines refer to concept one…

MY vision: to hone screenwriting skills and market my writing.

What I learned: The Puzzle pieces will come together, eventually.

Intentional lead characters

Character: Emilia Restrepo Castro, 7/17

Logline: Emilia is a “collector” for Escobar who shoots her boss (Santi) in the head when he tries to rape her at the “finca” (ranch)

Unique: voices of the “little people” around Escobar

Character: Pablo Escobar, 30s/40’s

Logline: Pablo is a drug-trafficker whose generosity as community benefactor buys him love, and extends to sparing Emilia’s life.

Unique: Narco sees himself as Robin Hood

Character: Santiago (Santi) Gonzalez, 19/29
Logline: Santi is Pablo’s “protection” racket boss has pursued Emilia since she was little, but she kills him at 17 when he tries to force himself on her.

Unique: Untold stories of “little people” around Escobar

<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>this week I interviewed at length two women who knew and worked for Pablo, with never-before-told stories about their lives, and new perspectives on Escobar: here are some sketches/ideas. (I found their stories so compelling, I had to write this down )… these could be combined into a limited series, under the banner of Escobar: the Untold Stories, or fleshed out as stand-alone features…… </font>

Genre: True life/DramaHigh Concept: The world’s most dangerous drug-lord is revered by his community and by a young woman whose life he saves.

Major Story Hook: A young Colombian woman is forced to choose whether to betray her boss/benefactor who spared her life after she kills one of his men.

Favorite Title 1: ***Pablo and me Favourite title 2: ***Money has no Friends (“La Plata no tiene Amigos”)

<font color=”#888888″ style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Genre: True life/drama High Concept: A young Colombian woman rejects prostitution and chooses to join a criminal gang working for Escobar, after being forced from home by a sexually abusive father.Major Story Hook: Will she murder or forgive him as, dying, he begs her to do? Favourite title #1: No Honour among Thieves Favourite title #2: Money Has No Friends (La Plata no tiene Amigos)</font>

David gollob

Member

June 10, 2022 at 3:38 am in reply to: Day 1 Assignments

David-Norman Gollob’s Title, concept and character structure!

vision: this program will contribute to my success as a screenwriter.

what i learned: outlining is key to successful screenwriting

Title: Pablo and Me

Genre: True life/DramaHigh Concept: The world’s most dangerous drug-lord is revered by his community and by a young woman whose life he saves.

Major Story Hook: A young Colombian woman is forced to choose whether to betray her boss/benefactor who spared her life after she kills one of his men.

Favorite Title ***Pablo and me

Character Structure: Dramatic Triangle

David gollob

Member

June 10, 2022 at 3:12 am in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

David-Norman Gollob

I agree to the terms of this release form.GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of Writing Incredible Movies, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, through social media, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, videos, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people

This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by David gollob.

David gollob

Member

November 21, 2021 at 8:44 pm in reply to: Day 8 Assignment

[PS 80 proseries]

Misleads and reveals and GOLLOB CREATES A FUTURE.

What I learned from this assignment is that I am on the right track! Just do it!

CHARACTERS

1, ROSARIO Moreno, 45-50, FANNY’s Mother – ANTAGONIST

Traits:

Crafty

Power-mad, VAIN

Fetishist (S&M)

Subtext:

MANIPULATIVE MURDERER

Character Logline:

Rosario will stop at nothing to hang on to power; she FEIGNS ignorance of her husband’s activities, PUSHES her daughter into a SHAM beauty contest so as to MURDER top contestants also raped by her husband, and FORCES Frito to get involved in order to “protect” her daughter, who she also finally ends up attempting to kill.

2. FANNY Moreno 22 (Rosario’s daughter) – MAIN PROTAGONIST

Traits: She is ashamed of her size, body shape, weight

She lets her Mother run her life

She is afraid to show her true feelings

She is a Loner, feels despised by everyone around her

SUBTEXT: VENGEFUL, DECEPTIVE

Character Logline: Fanny, step-daughter of a ruthless Dictator, FEIGNS belief in her mother’s lies and cover-ups of his sexual abuse of her and others until she can get VENGEANCE on her mother for her complicity and the step-father for his rapes, by exposing them to the world.

3. MASKED MAN – PRESIDENT FOR LIFE AND DICTATOR, GENERAL “NILO” ORIEGA

Traits: Deceitful, Treacherous, murderer, sexual abuser, submissive in S&M fetishes

SUBTEXT

Submissive to ROSARIO.

Character LOGLINE TBD

**********

OPENING SCENE, ACT 1 Sc 1

EXT. swimming pool LUXURY HOTEL – NIGHT

Deafening SOUND OF CRICKETS, amid CABANAS and PALM TREES: a TROPICAL “PARADISE.”

ROSARIO (WOMAN, late 40,s, elegant and dripping with gold jewelry) reclines on a lounge chair, by the pool, long black hair spilling down the back. We do not see her face. She is watching the NEWS on an IPHONE. It is late at night, she is alone, nobody else by the pool with her,

NEWSCASTER

(woman or man 30’s) in SPANISH with subtitles)

‘The world is breathless with expectation. Who’s going to be the next MISS NICARAGUA? The national pageant begins tomorrow…”

She puts the phone down on a SIDE TABLE, next to a black leather WHIP, , nail polish and a file, and a condom. She begins filing her nails, watching the Iphone peripherally.

NEWSCASTER

“The favourites are: Adriana and Milagro Celentano, sisters from Jinotepe.”

THEIR FACES appear BRIEFLY, on the IPHONE ON THE TABLE)

Newscaster

“Also competing is FANNY MORENO, a long-shot, step-daughter of President for Life, General “Nilo” ORNIEGA, and daughter of VP ROSARIO MORENO, “The Voice of the Revolution.””

HEAD SHOT of Rosario appears on I-Phone screen. She appears haggard and old, short-cropped hair – not as she will look when we see her face eventually.

Rosario, with a gesture of disgust, shuts off the newscast on her Iphone, and CRICKETS resume.

All else is silent.

Suddenly a MAN with a hoodie hiding his masked face comes out of a hotel door, nods to her, a gesture she ignores, and pulls himself up onto a balcony overlooking the pool. He enters the patio doors into the hotel room, silently.

Rosario does not react to this, or to SOUNDS OF MALE GRUNTING and PANTING heard from the room. She files her nails, calmly.

After a moment, the man GRUNTS loudly to signify orgasm. Rosario picks up the nail polish, begins painting her nails.

The hooded man climbs down the balcony, approaches Rosario, the woman in the lounge-chair. He removes his hoodie to show a RONALD REAGAN MASK.

ROSARIO

Did she see you?

MAN grunting, shakes head.

ROSARIO

You forgot this!

She throws the condom at him. He GRUNTS again.

ROSARIO

Bend over and pull down your pants…

He does as commanded, and she picks up the whip and lashes his bare buttocks until they bleed. He GRUNTS – with pleasure or pain we don’t know.

ROSARIO

Now go!

He runs back into hotel, just as a YOUNG WOMAN’S SCREAM is heard from the balcony room he had just exited.

Young Woman’s voice (OFF)

Mamma ! Mamma!

Rosario

(calling out) )

What, dear?

FANNY, young woman early 20s, pretty, but just a little too fat to wear a bikini comfortably, rushes onto the balcony in her light, cotton nightdress, holding a kleenex in one hand.

Fanny

(very upset)

It’s happening again!

Rosario

What, dear, those nightmares? You know it’s all in your head, dear.

Fanny

No Mamma! It’s not in my head.

She leans over the balcony railing, weeping, and thrusts the kleenex forward.

Fanny

It’s in my vagina!

Rosario

Probably just a discharge – from something you picked up, on a dirty toilet seat… We’ll ask Doctor Marco tomorrow, OK? In the morning, before the pageant…

Rosario finishes painting her nails, sighs with annoyance, puts the paint bottle down, gets up and walks calmly into the hotel. She wears a beach wrap over her swimsuit, and high heels.

INT. LUX HOTEL, FANNY’S ROOM – continuous

Fanny lies face down, on bed, sobbing. Beside her, on a bedside TABLE, a heap of DIRTY TISSUES…

Rosario enters the room, switches on the lights. We see her face for the first time. Tall, clearly once beautiful, with face-lifted face and cosmetic enhancements to lips, cheeks, heavily made-up… all making her look a little freakish, with just a little resemblance to the haggard woman whose head-shot was shown on TV. She wears a beach wrap over a revealing one-piece swimsuit.

She sits on the bed beside Fanny, attempts to console her…

Rosario

There, there… you’re a shy girl and tomorrow’s a big day, the stress of it probably triggered the nightmare. Do you want a pill?

Sighing again, Rosario stands up, slips on a LATEX GLOVE, gathers up the kleenexes. Fanny has stopped sobbing but still lies face-down, watching her mother with one eye.

RoSARIO

I just did my nails… Not going to ruin them now with soap and water.

She takes the kleenexes into the bathroom, flushes them away, then studies herself for a moment in the mirror, smiles as if for the cameras. She takes a bottle of pills from the medicine cabinet, takes one out and brings it to her daughter with a glass of water. Fanny has sat up in bed, watching her every move.

FANNY

I’m scared something will happen… those demonstrators, they don’t like us. And the other girls all hate me.

ROSARIO

Don’t worry, dear. Everything is under control.

FANNY

Yes, the army. And the secret service. Cubans. Still, I’d feel better if there was someone protecting me.

Fanny takes the pill, appears to put it in her mouth, drinks the glass of water.

FannY

(looking at her)

Mom: why don’t you call in Frito?

RoSARIO

OK, i’ll see if he’s available. He hasn’t worked for us in years.

FaNNY

Yes, but I trust him. He’s loyal.

ROSARIO

Ok, but sleep now. Ok?

She gets up and leaves, turning the lights off.

A warm tropical breeze blows thru the open patio doors, making the gauze curtains sway.

Fanny turns on a bedside lamp and gets up. She is holding the sleeping pill in one hand, and the kleenex she has been hiding under the covers, in the other. She puts the kleenex and the pill in a purse lying on the couch.

Then she angrily slams the patio doors and locks them shut. She double-locks the bedroom door, turns out the light and gets back into bed.

END OF SCENE

David gollob

Member

November 19, 2021 at 10:26 pm in reply to: Post Day 16 Assignment Here

What I learned from this assignment: keep your focus, you’ll get there

NB: note of apology to colleagues: please send your feedback requests… I will answer best I can… have been travelling last ten days, and so, just catching up now. I think Hal is AWESOME!! But living in Europe, interaction is a challenge.

Also never good at networking… so do not be shy about taking first step… Thanks!!! ESSENTIAL OUTLINE follows.

Working Title: Who killed Miss Nicaragua?

1: logline: the step-daughter of a South American dictator avenges his sexual abuse of her and her mother’s complicity in it after undeservedly winning the national beauty pageant.

2. Dramatic question: can Fanny overcome shame and humiliation to publicly speak the truth, liberating herself and her country, from its sick, psychotic rulers?

3. Main conflict: Rosario (Fanny’s mother) is complicit in covering up the horrors inflicted on her own daughter, and other young women.

4. Dilemma: Fanny will have to choose whether she publicly exposes herself as a victim. If she does, she risks burning all her bridges with the powerful couple running her country.

THEME: Abusers will be punished; justice will prevail.

1. INT. LUXURY HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

A hooded, masked assailant leaps over the balcony and enters the room where a young woman is sleeping. Lifting her nightdress, he proceeds to violate her, whereupon she wakes. He strangles her into submission, leaving welts on her neck.

2. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL – SWIMMING POOL – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS

ROSARIO, FANNY’s mother, sees ORNIEGA, in a Ronald Reagan mask, climbing down from balcony. She berates him for not using a condom, he pulls up his cloak to expose bare buttocks and she lashes him, with relish. He moans a guttural, unmistakable moan.

3. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL – SWIMMING POOL, CABANAS – DAY

Morning of the Beauty Pageant. Distant sounds of protestors. Rosario and Fanny calmly have breakfast. Fanny complains she is having “those nightmares” again, and shows her bruises. Rosario gives her a Hermes silk scarf to wear.“You won’t be the only one wearing a scarf.”

4. EXT. ROAD TO HOTEL ENTRANCE – DAY

Anti-regime protestors are beaten back by heavily-armed guards to clear a path for smoke-windowed Mercedes etc. entering hotel. FRITO follows them in, in his dirty Toyota Jeep, as protestors scream slogans at them. FRITO smiles, nods.

5. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL – SWIMMING POOL – DAY

DJ starts music as MC begins live broadcast of national Miss Nicaragua pageant. First two contestants appear; conventionally “beautiful,” followed by Fanny, “fat and ugly” in comparison. All have Hermes scarves around their necks.

6. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL, ROOFTOP – DAY

A hooded sniper takes aim at contestants as they parade around the pool.

6.a EXT. LUXURY HOTEL – SWIMMING POOL – DAY

Audience, sitting under cabanas with dainty Cocktails, cheer. Among them: sniggering girls hooked to mobile phones, instagram feeds, chatter about Fanny: what’s she doing here? So “fat” and “ugly”… (but she isn’t)

7. EXT. ROAD TO HOTEL ENTRANCE – DAY

Military suppression of protests becomes extremely brutal, heads cracked open, legs broken with riot batons.

8. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL, ROOFTOP – DAY

Sniper shoots first most beautiful contestant with deadly precision. Then a second shot, killing no. 2, triggers pandemonium, below.

9. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL – SWIMMING POOL – DAY

Music stops. Amid cahos, FRITO rushes forward to grab Fanny and drag her to safety. Panicked guests run to Mercedes, leave.

10. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL, ROOFTOP – DAY

Sniper removes hood only revealing long hair: he’s a ”she”… but who?

11. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL – SWIMMING POOL – DAY

Rosario finds Fanny hiding with Frito. “I’ve been looking for you… everywhere.”

She orders Frito to protect Fanny: her life is in danger. He objects: he’s retired, but she insists. “You’re old enough to be her father, she’ll be safe with you.”

12. EXT. STREET TO HOTEL ENTRANCE – DAY

Fanny leaves in Frito’s Jeep as military clear bodies, throw them in a heap. Looks like another Revolution, he says. “And then what?”. “And then another, and another…” “No!” she says, “not going to happen! I’m going to break the chain…”

END ACT 1

13. EXT. PRESIDENTIAL COMPOUND – DAY

Frito drops Fanny off at presidential compound, gives her a switchblade. Don’t worry I’ll be sleeping in next room. Exposes history as escaped terrorst, hunted by Interpol, past relationship w. Rosario. “That’s her leverage, with me.”

14. INT. PSYCH’S OFFICE – DAY

Fanny weeps as Psycho consoles her. Her “complex” is common, fear of sex. And the welts are like stigmata on hands of medieval nuns, well-documented products of hysteria… but it’s all in her head, he says.

15. INT. FRITO’S HOME – DAY – CONTINUOUS

His wife and her children welcome him home, he warns he has an assignment with First Lady, I may be gone for awhile,,,

16. INT. PSYCH’S OFFICE – DAY – CONTINUOUS

Fanny objects to the myth woven around her childhood rapes. “But It’s not in my head, it’s in my body! I have his DNA… here… he left it in me, the bastard. Please find out who he is!”

17. EXT. FRITO’S HOME – DAY

Shootout with “Interpol” agents led by “ Sammy”. He runs, pursued by them, and is apprehended after desperate foot chase amid favela-like housing.

18. INT. LUXURY HOTEL, COMMAND POST – NIGHT

Sammy beats him nearly to death, just for fun, he says. “you can’t tell us anything we don’t already know.” So Frito is not there to defend her…

19. INT. PRES. COMPOUND, FANNY’s ROOM – NIGHT

… when rapist comes again… that night, in the compound!! She uses switchblade to expose him (Ronald reagan mask)… stabs him… But he escapes, bleeding… crashes over balcony into back-breaking fall

20. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL – SWIMMING POOL – DAY

President Orniega in wheelchair and Jimmy Carter mask as Rosario holds news conference on imposition of martial law due to attack on President. AND she announces that her daughter, Fanny, will be Miss Nicaragua, by default. (Orniega cannot speak since his tongue was cut out by previous dictator. Rosario: “So, I am the Voice of the Revolution!”)

21. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL – SWIMMING POOL – DAY

Girls snigger at announcement of “Miss” winner. I told you it was rigged, says one. Frito arrives bruised and bloodied, as Fanny holds knife to Rosario’s back:

We need to talk, Mama. She leads her inside.

22. INT. LUXURY HOTEL – DAY

Fanny confronts Rosario with her evidence. Including psych’s DNA report. Then plays instagram or tiktok videos of other girls, the two murdered aspirants to “Miss,” alleging rape by somebody wearing mask of JFK.

23. INT. LUXURY HOTEL – DAY

Fanny is about to cut her mom’s throat but Frito charges in and stops her: “That’s not how you ‘break the chain!’”

ACT 3

24. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL , swimming pool – DAY

DJ and MC set up for formal Announcment of MISS NICARAGUA winner. Rosario wheels out Orniega for set piece show. Today he wears George Bush Sr. mask.

Fanny goes to podium, begins to speak, as Rosario goes inside. Frito follows her.

25. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL, ROOFTOP – DAY

Frito chases Rosario to rooftop where she is setting up her weapons, as

26. EXT. HOTEL – STREET – DAY

Protestors gather on street, in massive numbers. Cops are nervous.

27. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL, ROOFTOP – DAY

Frito challenges Rosario to speak the truth about years of abuse. She trains her weapon on him instead, shooting him just above the heart, below clavicle.

28. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL , swimming pool – DAY

Fanny tells her story on LIVE TV. “I am a victim of years of sexual abuse, of rapes… my by OWN STEPFATHER, Your President…”

29. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL , STREET – DAY

Protestors go silent, listening to Fanny’s story. “He raped me as he is raping you.”

30. INT. LUXURY HOTEL, COMMAND POST

“Interpol” agent (Sammy) who beat up FRITO orders military to kill all protestors as Fanny continues her story.

31. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL – STREET ENTRANCE– DAY

But outside, nobody moves. Not even military, transfixed by Fanny on widescreen TV.

32. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL, ROOFTOP

Frito, mortally wounded lunges at Rosario to stop her from killing Fanny. They struggle. She says, sardonically, just like the old days, making love. As Fanny finishes her speech, she falls into the swimming pool.

33. EXT. LUXURY HOTEL, ROOFTOP – DAY

Frito shoots Rosario dead as she struggles to get out. Fanny sees him, rushes to rooftop, cradles him in her arms as he dies. He tells her, he’s her biological father.

34. EXT. HOTEL, street – DAY

Protestors riot, penetrate hotel. “Interpol” guys feign enthusiasm, support. Protestors rip off JFK mask from Orniega, we see his horrible disfigurement, face charred black, little yellow worms crawling in and out of his head; “interpol” guys whisk him away.

35. EXT. AIRSTRIP, MANAGUA -NiGHT

Sammy and Agents force Fanny onto private jet; it flies off..

36. INT. FRITO’S HOME – DAY

Scene in family room as TV announcer celebrates Frito’s heroism, saving Miss Nicaragua, killing the “FALSE Voice of the Revolution.” Wife in shock, mourning, tears… as children play with toy guns.. Picture of “Sammy” – “interpol” agent who beat Frito nearly to death – displayed as new “interim president.”

37. EXT. CAMPUS GEORGETOWN U. – DAY

Fanny, happy, walks towards Dean’s office, resolute, breathes in and exhales fresh air of freedom.

38. INT. GEORGETOWN U. DEAN’S OFFICE

Dean says “so unusual for us to have a “Miss” here as a freshman. But your story is amazing. Tell us, should we have hope for the new president? For your country?” “we have no choice…” “no choice?…” ”no choice…but to hope…” she says.

END ACT 3

3. 9 beats – structure:

1. Opening :

EXT. LUXURY HOTEL – DAY National beauty pageant in luxury hotel gets underway, as violent protesters, destitute and dark-skinned clash with armed soldiers outside

2. Inciting Incident:

EXT. LUXURY HOTEL, SWIMMING POOL – DAY

two lighter skinned beauty pageant finalists posing in swimsuits are shot and killed by an assassin as a third (Fanny, dictator’s “ugly duckling” step-daughter) appears to narrowly escape. Pandemonium, as guests flee and military violently disperse demonstators to clear a path for their Mercedes and BMWs…

INT. LUXURY HOTEL – NIGHT

That night a masked man (“Jimmy Carter”) sneaks into her room and rapes her as she sleeps

INT. LUXURY HOTEL – DAY

3. By p. 10 has Fanny engaged “Frito,” a former Red Brigades terrorist hiding out in South America and at one time her mother’s lover, to protect her and get to the bottom of it all. They hunt for clues together, much to the consternation of the “First Lady,” who summons him to a private meeting. She threatens to expose him to Interpol unless he stops helping Fanny…

l 1-661-513-0529.

EXT. LUXURY HOTEL — DAY

4. First turning point: at end Act One, and much to her embarassment, it is announced that Fanny has won the pageant “by default,” prompting social media speculation that the contest was rigged by her parents. She will be “crowned” in a ceremony in coming days. Protests erupt again.

INT. SECRET LOCATION — NIGHT

5. Mid-point – p 45-50 – Frito is arrested and beaten by “interpol” investigators, more interested in the beauty pageant than his past activity. They accuse him of murdering the two girls.

INT. LUXURY HOTEL – NIGHT

EXT. LUXURY HOTEL, SWIMMING POOL – NIGHT

6. second turning point, end act 2, A masked man sneaks into her room to rape her in her sleep, but this time Frito catches him in the act, chases down rapist, rips off his “Ronald Reagan” mask to reveal the hideously disfigured face of the dictator; … and gives Fanny a pistol to defend herself.

INT. LUXURY HOTEL – NIGHT

7. CRISIS: F confronts her mom and, at gunpoint, forces her to admit her complicity in these serial rapes, and murders of other girls, so they “couldn’t talk” because he raped them too!

8. Climax;

EXT. LUXURY HOTEL — DAY

Accepting the “crown” (carried live on TV), Fanny denounces both parents for rape and abuse not just of herself but of the entire country. Mom attempts to kill her but Frito takes the bullet. He dies, leaving F alone to finish the job. Which she does, exposing the hideous un-masked face of her stepfather and putting a bullet thru her mom’s head LIVE on national TV.

EXT. University Campus – DAY

9. resolution: F flees to USA and enrolls in Georgetown U, newly self-confident despite the shame of her public admissions. Meantime, the regime is overthrown, protesters appear to have won, but no, it’s just another cohort of corrupt “strongmen” (the mysterious “interpol agents”) who take power.

CHARACTER ARC

PART that needs to CHANGE and does: Fanny is victimized by her perverted step-father

BIGGEST FEAR: public humiliation over revelation of this “family secret:” abuse by step-father and complicit mom.

COMPLETION: F flees to USA and enrolls in university, newly self-confident despite the shame of her public admissions; having sacrificed her pride for the sake of the transformative revelation of truth, the corrupt regime is toppled,

Possible additional Plot events:

-Fanny finds her step-dad’s impressive mask collection of US presidents-he won’t be seen without one since his disfigurement under torture by previous dictator…otherwise we never see his face… in public; that’s why he rapes, he disgusts his own wife, who won’t sleep with him…

-“interpol” guys follow Frito; he “makes” one, beats him up.

-“Jappy” girlie-girls snigger over (“fat” and “ugly”) Fanny first as contestant, then as winner of national pageant…

– martial law declared; soldiers abuse powers to steal and rape…

– parents have convinced Fanny her stories of rape are fantasies, a version supported by her “therapist,” but Frito catching him in the act confirms they are not… she was drugged and asleep that’s all…

– Protesters ID Frito, cheer him on, he shuts them down, but they know he’s a hero…

– prospective beauty queens get training and cosmetic surgery, so as to compete internationally, from Cuban doctors, but it goes horribly wrong in at least one case…

-Interview with Dean of Admissions at Georgetown: it’s not often we let in someone like you… without SATs but: Miss Nicaragua! an honour for us!

David gollob

Member

November 19, 2021 at 10:13 pm in reply to: Post Day 5 Assignment Here

1. Opening : National beauty pageant in luxury hotel gets underway, as violent protesters, destitute and dark-skinned clash with armed soldiers outside

2. Inciting Incident: two lighter skinned beauty pageant finalists posing in swimsuits are shot and killed by an assassin as a third (Fanny, dictator’s “ugly duckling” step-daughter) appears to narrowly escape. Pandemonium, as guests flee and military violently disperse demonstators to clear a path for their Mercedes and BMWs… Fanny understands her life is in danger and she must do something about it.

3. By p. 10 has Fanny engaged “Frito,” a former Red Brigades terrorist hiding out in South America and at one time her mother’s lover, to protect her and get to the bottom of it all. They hunt for clues together, much to the consternation of the “First Lady,” who summons him to a private meeting from which Fanny is excluded. She threatens to expose him to Interpol unless he stops helping Fanny… He walks out, infuriated… accusing her to her face of murder…

4. First turning point: by end Act One, and much to her embarassment, it is announced that Fanny has won the pageant “by default,” prompting social media speculation that the contest was rigged by her parents, and the clues they have gathered so far certainly point in that direction. She will be “crowned” in a ceremony in coming days. Protests erupt again.

5. Mid-point – p 45-50 – Frito is arrested and beaten by “interpol” investigators, more interested in the beauty pageant than his past activity. They accuse him of murdering the two girls. They seem curious too about his relationship with F’s mother.

6. second turning point, end act 2, Fanny learns that Frito may well be her real biological father after, her masked stepfather sneaks into her room to rape her in her sleep, but Frito catches him in the act, fights him off… and gives her a pistol to defend herself.

7. CRISIS: Frito chases down rapist, rips off his Ronald Reagan mask to reveal the hideously disfigured face of the dictator; F confronts her mom with her complicity in these serial rapes, at gunpoint.

8. Climax; F, in accepting the “crown” on TV denounces both parents for rape and abuse not just of herself but the entire country. Mom attempts to kill her but Frito takes the bullet, dies, leaving F alone to finish the job. Which she does, exposing the hideous un-masked face of her stepfater and putting a bullet thru her mom’s head LIVE on national TV, as “Interpol” agents are murdered one by one by protesters.

9. resolution: the regime is overthrown, protesters appear to have won, but no, it’s just another cohort of corrupt “strongmen” who take power. F flees to USA and enrolls in Georgetown U, newly self-confident despite the shame of her public admissions. She also proves Frito was her real father, thru DNA, so it’s a double-triumph for her…

David gollob

Member

November 19, 2021 at 10:06 pm in reply to: Post Day 2 Assignment Here

What I learned doing this assignment is SUBTEXT is a challenge but SO important to AUTHENTICITY and CREDIBILITY of my writing.

Title: Gollob Subtext and Loglines

Name: Fanny

Traits: She is ashamed of her size, body shape, weight

She lets her Mother run her life

She is afraid to show her true feelings

She is a Loner, feels despised by everyone around her

VENGEFUL, DECEPtive

Subtext: vengeful

Character Logline: Fanny is the step-daughter of a ruthless Dictator who FEIGNS belief in her mother’s lies and cover-ups of his sexual abuse of her and others until she can get VENGEANCE on her mother for her complicity and the step-father for his rapes, by exposing them to the world.

Possible areas of subtext:

She pretends to believe her Mother and the family doctor who maintain “it’s all in her head,” until she obtains proof: “No, Mommy, it’s his come in my vagina;”

She bows to her Mother’s pressure to participate in the national beauty pageant, though she knows she cannot win unless it is rigged;

She gracefully accepts her victory, but only because it provides her the podium from which she will obtain her goal.

Rosario (F’s mother)

Traits:

Crafty

Power-mad, VAIN

Fetishist (S&M)

MANIPULATIVE MURDERER

Subtext:

MANIPULATIVE MURDERER

Character Logline:

Rosario will stop at nothing to hang on to power; she FEIGNS ignorance of her husband’s activities, PUSHES her daughter into a SHAM beauty contest so as to MURDER top contestants also raped by her husband, and FORCES Frito to get involved in order to “protect” her daughter, who she also finally ends up attempting to kill.

“FRITO”

Traits:

Resourceful

Fighter

Believes in justice

Father, with strong paternal instincts

Subtext:

Protector of those he loves

Character Logline:

Still hunted by Interpol, he belonged to an Italian terrorist group when a teenager, finding refuge in chaos of Revolutionary Nicaragua, and briefly, in arms of Rosario. He suspects he’s Fanny’s biological father, but now with his own adoptive family, has distanced himself from the Dictator and his ruthless wife, until sucked in by proof of F’s sexual abuse, and now he will stop at nothing to bring down the power couple, though it means betraying Rosario, to whom he owes the debt of saving his life, but they have betrayed not just her own daughter, but the Revolution… (when he dies, F takes a DNA sample– his blood – to prove paternity)

David gollob

Member

November 19, 2021 at 9:59 pm in reply to: Post Day 1 Assignment Here

What I learned doing this assignment is…the value of precision and brevity

Title: David Gollob characters – Day 1

A: Character Name: Fanny (Protagonist)

1. Basic character traits:

She is ashamed of her size, body shape, weight

She lets her Mother run her life

She is afraid to show her true feelings

She is a Loner, feels despised by everyone around her’

2. Want/Need
She wants to be loved by her Mother

She NEEDS acceptance, approval by her peers

3. Paradoxes
She values honesty and TRUTH but fears the consequences of discovering and uttering the TRUTH

4. Secret:

Her step-father has been sexually abusing her for years, and has resumed his attacks on her

5. Flaw:
Fear of rejection

6. Special:
She has the courage within herself to confront her TRUTH despite her fears

B: Character Name: Rosario (Antagonist)

1. Basic character traits:

Crafty

Power-mad

Fetishist (S&M)

2. Want/Need
She wants to hang on to power at all costs

She NEEDS to destroy anything in her way

3. Paradoxes

Normal maternal feelings towards her daughter

Need to protect her position and her husband from exposure

4. Secret

She had a relationship with Frito years ago; he is the REAL father of Fanny

5. Flaw

Normal feelings of maternal love

6. Special

She is the power behind the throne of a sick, perverted man, the Dictator

C: “Frito” – co-protagonist with Fanny

1. Basic character traits:

a. Resourceful
b. Intelligent
c. Fearless

2. Wants a better world, and NEEDS to help Fanny to achieve that for herself, at minimum

3. Paradoxes
a. He loves his own adopted family
b. He needs to protect Fanny (his only real daughter) even at the risk of endangering them

4. Secret

He is wanted by Interpol as a former Brigatte Rosse terrorist

5. Flaw

He let Rosario leverage his secret to assert power over him

6. Special

He loves his adopted country, his adopted family, almost as much as his REAL daughter

David gollob

Member

November 18, 2021 at 7:09 pm in reply to: Post Day 7 Assignment Here

Working Title: Who is killing the beauty queens?

1: logline: the step-daughter of a South American dictator avenges his sexual abuse of her and her mother’s complicity in it after undeservedly winning the national beauty pageant.

2: Plot choice: Revenge and Underdog: quick summary: a young woman, victim of sexual abuse by her stepfather gets revenge on him and on her own mother, guilty of complicity in or even encouragement of the abuse.

3. 9 beats – structure:

1. Opening :

EXT. LUXURY HOTEL – DAY National beauty pageant in luxury hotel gets underway, as violent protesters, destitute and dark-skinned clash with armed soldiers outside

2. Inciting Incident:

EXT. LUXURY HOTEL, SWIMMING POOL – DAY

two lighter skinned beauty pageant finalists posing in swimsuits are shot and killed by an assassin as a third (Fanny, dictator’s “ugly duckling” step-daughter) appears to narrowly escape. Pandemonium, as guests flee and military violently disperse demonstators to clear a path for their Mercedes and BMWs…

INT. LUXURY HOTEL – NIGHT

That night a masked man (“Jimmy Carter”) sneaks into her room and rapes her as she sleeps,,,