Dave Halligan
Forum Replies Created
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Hello.
I have enjoyed this Action course and learned a lot. I’m sorry that almost no one has responded via the forum. This happened with the previous 3 or 4 classes as well. Considering there is no feedback from the instructors, the forum is essential to a writer’s development. The early courses offered lively discussion from many writers, several of whom have gone on to success in the business. I miss that exchange of ideas.
Dave Halligan, Pgh. -
Dave’s Unique Action Inspiration
What I learned doing this assignment:
I’m sick and tired of reading about “The Matrix.” I couldn’t watch it for more than 5 minutes on first viewing. Then I had to watch it for one of Hal’s classes. Boring. I guess I just didn’t buy in to the concept.
When I think of great action movies the first one that comes to mind is “The Adventures of Robin Hood.” Classic.
What is Unique about:
Environment – The Sherwood Forest. Living off the land.
Rules – Everything is in turmoil upon Robin’s return from the Crusades.
Villain – Prince John. He usurped the power from King Richard while he was in The Holy Land.
Struggle – Robin must regain his land and title with just a ragtag band of merry men.
Skillset – The greatest archer in the land.
Meaning – An end to tyranny.
Allies – An obese clergyman. A handmaiden in the enemy camp. A big oaf who’s handy with a staff.
Weapon – Aside from Sword and bow, the hero’s compassion and wit.
What if … Robin lived in The Matrix:
Take to Extreme – The story becomes a franchise and never ends.
Specific to Character or Environment – Sherwood Forest becomes a giant computer construct where Robin clones Maid Marian. Hmmm? Not a bad idea.
Shocking or Surprising – The Sheriff of Nottingham loses his re-election bid.
Go Opposite – The Sheriff wins in a landslide. Robin declares the election was fixed.
What haven’t we seen? Robin opens a martial arts gym called “Men in Sweats.”
Build an Action Set for my outline – I think I’ll just watch “The Adventures of Robin Hood.” 1938.
Written by Norman Reilly Raine, Seton I. Miller, and Rowland Leigh.
Classic.
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Dave’s Level 3 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment:
Even though my story has changed significantly from Lesson 1, I find it beneficial to recall the various tracks and maps we’ve created along the way.
Outline a Level 3 scene:
Excitement: The Hero’s races his scooter while being chased by robots toward a narrow wooden bridge that isn’t wide enough (and maybe not strong enough) for the Hero and a robot to race side by side.
Danger: The Hero speeds along the skinny bridge unaware that the Villain and his crew are rolling a boulder toward the far end.
Adrenaline: The Hero hits high gear trying to reach the end of the bridge before the boulder comes down a hill and crushes him.
First Draft of Level 3 Scene:
EXT. FOREST – DAY
The Hero on his Vespa GS scooter races along a path through the woods. He goes airborne as he flies over a knoll.
Two robots on wheels and a drone are in hot pursuit. One robot does a wild flip but lands upright.
The Hero fords a stream, splashing a robot. A little wiper pops out and cleans its visor. Squeak, squeak.
The robots try to grab the Hero each time they get close. The drone strafes the hero who swats him like a bug.
They race neck and neck toward a narrow wooden bridge.
ON BRIDGE
The Hero cuts off the robots sending one of them into a gorge.
The Hero zips along the rickety bridge. The second robot follows closely.
The drone flies past the Hero and speeds to the other side.
ACROSS GORGE
The drone flies up a hill where the Villain dislodges a boulder.
BACK ON BRIDGE
Loose planks fall into the gorge as the Hero and the robot speed along.
BACK ACROSS GORGE
The boulder picks up speed as it rolls toward the bridge.
BACK ON BRIDGE
The Hero is never going to make it across in time. At the last second he jerks the scooter off the side of the bridge, skids safely to a stop.
The huge rock flattens the second robot, continues to roll to the center of the bridge. The timbers strain and creak.
ON GORGE
The first robot reboots, starts to move away.
SOUND OF: bridge collapsing
The flattened robot lands on the rebooted one.
The boulder crushes them both.
BACK ACROSS GORGE
The Hero rights his scooter, dusts himself off, and drives away into the woods.
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Dave’s Level 2 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment:
There are dark parts to this Action Comedy. This is one of them.
Outline Scene: Surprise, Shock, Suspense
The Villain discovers the Hero’s secret shortcut through an old mine.
The Villain blackmails the Hero’s most trusted employee.
The Villain and some robots block the path.
First Draft of Scene:
EXT. VILLAIN’S LAIR – DAY
A gated Modernist mansion. Shiny and spotless. It looks welcoming and safe as we move through the rooms but a voice over by the Villain informs us that he is forcing someone to reveal details of the Hero’s route.
When we reach the Villain, we see that the informant is the Hero’s most trusted employee. The betrayal is bitter and shocking as he reveals the Hero’s secret shortcut through a deserted mine.
INT. MINE – DAY
The Villain and some robots rig a trap. One robots is left behind to self-destruct when the Hero rides his scooter through the tunnel.
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Dave’s Level 1 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment:
I like this story a little more with every lesson.
Outline a scene that includes Anxiety, Fear, and Relief. This scene is at the midpoint.
– A deliveryman pushes his wobbly Brass Era motorcycle to the command center where other drivers have various problems with their vehicles making them unable to complete their rounds.
– The Hero worries that he will lose his business. He is not his usual cheery self until a picture of his ex snaps him out of it.
– He preps himself to hit the road. (Think: Aragorn arming himself before the Battle of Helm’s Deep. Add a stirring orchestral score.)
EXT. QUAINT VILLAGE – COMMAND CENTER – DAY
A weary deliveryman pushes his wobbly Brass Era motorbike toward the command center garage where he finds other drivers having similar trouble with their vehicles. It looks like a triage scene from “M.A.S.H.”
INT. COMMAND CENTER OFFICE – DAY
A huge village map is awash with tiny blinking red lights indicating undelivered goods.
The hero wheels his desk chair around the office as one antique phone after another rings and jiggles on its hook.
HERO
Please hold on. Please hold on.
His pet parrot squawks in desperation and flutters wildly in its ornate Victorian cage.
A copper tea kettle spouts off on a hot plate.
The parrot escapes, flies from one perch to another.
PARROT
Please hold on. Please hold on.
The Hero is about to erupt until he sees a snapshot of his ex. (We know by now that his ex is the love of his life. She’s engaged to the Villain, and the Hero hopes to get her back as much as he needs to save his business.)
FADE TO:
The Hero girds himself for battle: leather jacket and helmet, goggles, studded gloves.
EXT. COMMAND CENTER – DAY
The Hero mounts his trusty Vespa GS scooter, fires it up.
Two helpers load him with messenger bags full of goods to be delivered.
The Hero kisses the photo of his beloved, then races off through the town square.
INT. COMMAND CENTER – DAY
The parrot is on the hero’s cluttered desk. It cocks its head at a phone that remains off the hook.
PARROT
Please hold on. Please hold on.
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Dave’s Favorite Twists
What I learned doing this assignment:
When your brainstorm is a dense fog, keep going anyway.
A scene that needs twists:
I don’t know yet but it will probably be a kind of double reverse at the end of Act 2.
Identity/Plan Exposed >>>>>> Plan Hidden
The man behind the robot service is the Villain, long time enemy of the Hero. >>>>> The scope of his plan goes well beyond the competition with the Hero.
Deceived >>>>>>>>>>>> Supporting Truth
The Hero’s ex becomes engaged to the villain.>>>>>> She discovers his true colors eventually.
Attacked >>>>>>>>>>> Protected
Relentless assault on the hero. >>>>> Backlash from the townsfolk. Who doesn’t love an underdog?
Unexpected Weapon >>>>>>>>>>>> Surprising Response
An eavesdropping robot. >>>>> Or is it something more?
Betrayal >>>>>>>>>>>>> Surprising Alliance
One of the Hero’s regular customers is blackmailed by the Villain to reveal the Hero’s weak spot. >>>> One of the Villain’s robots downloads a cryptic message to the Hero’s command center.
Lost Resources >>>>>>>>>>>> New Resources
The hero’s crew have all been waylaid. >>>>>> The Hero leaves the command center and goes on the road alone.
The Hero’s trusty Vespa GS is stolen >>>>>>>>>> He brings his vintage microcar out of retirement.
Trap >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Escape
The Villain bribes a public official to close a small bridge along the Hero’s secret shortcut. >>>>> The Hero has souped up his old microcar with a steampunk device that enables him to leap over a brook to escape.
Danger >>>>>>>>>> Safety
The Villain kidnaps the Hero’s pet. Beagle, Canary, Other? >>>>>> The Hero enters the Villain’s fortified compound, rescues the pet.
Now the Hero is trapped. >>>>>> His pet helps him escape.
New Threat >>>>>>>>> Unexpected Support
In the Villain’s lair, the Hero learns of the Villain’s plan to completely mechanize the village. >>>> But who will believe him without proof? Could a robot come to his aid?
Plan Fails >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Plan Succeeds
The Hero’s seems to have lost the race, his business, and his girl. >>>>>>> In the end, the Villain is flown out of town by his drones.
Five Favorite Set-ups > Twists:
I don’t know about favorites but I’ve arranged them into a basic structure.
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I had the same problem posting twice.
Keep in touch.
Dave, Pgh. -
Twenty people in class. Four of us in the forum.
Where did everybody go?
Dave, Pgh. -
Dave’s Action Comedy Map
What I learned doing this lesson:
My story has become less cartoonlike while maintaining a whimsical tone.
M-1
Clear Mission – Hero with established delivery service must defeat the villain and his robots to save his business.
V-1
The villain wants to take over the
delivery business to further his
plans to rule the village.
M-2
Motivation – Preserve his old fashioned methods and secure his future.
V-2
The villain wants to crush the hero in the
eyes of the his new fiancee who happens to
be the hero’s ex.
M-3
Inciting Incident – The villain starts his own delivery service using robots and drones.
M-4
First Action – The hero, realizing he must act quickly, challenges the villain to a winner take all competition.
V-3
That is exactly what the villain wants.
M-5
Obstacle – The villain commences his dastardly plan to waylay the hero’s fellow drivers. Using espionage, bribery, blackmail, and propaganda until the hero is alone in his quest.
V-4
The villain learns of the hero’s secret
shortcut to the finish line.
M-6
Escalation – The hero must adopt new ways to combat the villain’s treachery without losing his core beliefs.
M-7
Overwhelming Odds – The robots access cctv to outpace the hero. They sabotage the hero’s Vespa scooter.
V-5
But one of the robots overhears details
of the villain’s evil ways.
M-8
New Plan – The hero revives his old microcar and soups it up for the final push.
M-9
All-out attack – The villain and his robots cause havoc with automated things all over town. The hero’s grassroots followers try to help him but the villain has fooled them as well and they lead the hero into a trap.
M-10
Success – The hero escapes the trap and … not sure where I’m going with this yet but the hero somehow manages to turn the robots into allies to vanquish the villain.
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Dave’s Action Structure!
What I learned doing this assignment:
This story could easily end up in the fantasy genre. Think “Babe.” Could it be an action movie with a whimsical fantasy setting? Why not? I’m still painting with broad strokes.
Opening – The hero runs a delivery service essential to his small town.
Inciting Incident – The villain with robots and drones promises to undercut the hero and force him out of business.
> The hero’s ex is now dating the villain.
End of Act 1 – Realizing that the town isn’t big enough for the both of them, the hero accepts the villain’s challenge to a delivery competition, winner take all.
> The villain spies on the hero and learns of a secret shortcut to the final destination.
Midpoint – The villain waylays the hero’s deliverymen one after another. The hero is now alone against the villain’s overwhelming forces.
> A robot observes the villain bribing a public official and admitting to other treachery. Think “Hal.”
End of Act 2 – The hero’s scooter has been sabotaged. He must search his garage and revive an old microcar.
> The villain announces his engagement to the hero’s ex. The hero can’t talk her out of it.
Crisis – As the hero races to deliver his last parcel, the villain’s men have wrecked a bridge along his secret shortcut which the villain learned of by spying.
> The hero revs up his feisty microcar and launches over a culvert to get away. Think Steve McQueen ala “The Great Escape.”
Climax – The hero and the villain fight hand-to-hand until the villain falls to his death from the Nakatomi Tower, or something like that.
Resolution – The hero has won the contest. The villain has been flown out of town by his drones. The robots have found gainful employment rebuilding things that were destroyed during the competition. And the hero is reunited with his true love.
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Dave’s Action Track
What I learned from this lesson:
I’m still approaching this merely as an exercise for class. Not much interest in making this my next project. Although, I’m enjoying the freedom a cartoonlike story brings.
What Action could naturally show up in this movie:
Chase scenes, of course, but not simply one car chasing another. I’m still seeing the hero driving something unusual like a vintage Vespa or microcar versus the villain’s mechanized fleet. Robots, drones? Not sure yet.
Considering the mission and villain tracks, what action could work for this track:
There will be some fights. Man vs machine. Machine vs. Mother Nature.
How can the action start well, build, then escalate:
It starts when two enemies bid on the same contract to deliver locally-made goods to the quirky inhabitants of a quaint winter resort town.
They agree to a competition to prove who can provide the best service.
The hero tries to regain his ex who is now engaged to the villain.
Other Types of Action I’ll use:
Pursuit – The villain steals the hero’s pet canary which diverts him from his mission.
Fight – The hero steals the villain’s pet Siamese. The bird and the cat are together: could be trouble.
Shootout – Spy drones vs paintball guns. Splat!
Rescue – After saving his canary and kidnapping the cat, the hero discovers the villain’s environmentally unfriendly worksite.
Escape/evade – Animal control is now on the hero’s tail, but he turns the table on the villain.
Competition – The battle over the hero’s ex adds another layer to the action story as the men try to win her.
Dangerous situations – A high speed escape over a drawbridge.
Interrogation – The hero is secretly filmed revealing his delivery route.
Torture – Not in a comedy. But humiliation is possible as the villain spreads rumors and lies about the hero.
Sequence of action scenes to deliver the story –
Much of the action will need to take place at breakneck speed. I don’t mean fast cars and such but events happening in rapid succession with occasional breaks to catch one’s breath. Sounds great. I wonder if I can do it?
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Dave’s Hero’s Mission Track
What I learned doing this assignment:
There’s a Man vs. AI story here, somewhere.
What makes the hero jump right into action against the overwhelming villain:
His relationship with his kids is at stake.
What is the mission that would be an impossible goal:
To save his new business and keep a promise to his kids while the villain is desperate to foil both plans.
Strong internal motivation:
Family
Strong external motivation:
Villain has friends in high places.
What could naturally happen if this hero went on a mission against this villain:
The hero would exhaust every resource then discover a new one to defeat the treacherous villain.
Clear Mission – Hero with new delivery service must defeat his ex-wife’s new husband and his robots to secure a local development deal.
Motivation – Saving his family and securing his future.
Inciting Incident – A competition between two bidders, hero and villain, to secure a lucrative contract.
First Action – A public spectacle meant to intimidate and embarrass the hero.
Obstacle – The hero’s new vehicle is sabotaged so he must bring his old one out of retirement. Not sure about these vehicles yet. I keep seeing Vespas and microcars.
Escalation – The hero must create a unique new route when the villain and co-conspirators in the public works dept. thwart him.
Overwhelming Odds – The robots access cctv to outpace the hero.
New Plan – The hero’s grassroots followers are called to action.
All-out attack – The villain and his robots cause havoc with automated things all over town.
Success – The hero climbs Mt. Doom and approaches the fire. Wait. That’s another story but you get the picture.
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Lesson 2 Nov. 1, 2023
Dave’s Hero and Villain
What I learned from this lesson: None of this story even crossed my mind until Monday. It’s just an exercise for class, but maybe there’s a comedy here worth developing.
CONCEPT:
Morally right hero – Weary divorced dad seeks to please his kids, and maybe his ex-wife, on Christmas Eve while saving his fledgling delivery service.
Morally wrong villain – New husband of ex-wife tries to win the hearts of the kids by crushing the dad’s promise and destroying his business.
HERO:
Unique skill set – He knows every street, alley, tunnel, and secret passageway in town from his days as a bicycle messenger.
Motivation – Trying to salvage relationships with his kids, and maybe his ex-wife.
Secret or Wound – His father was a failure and abandoned his family. He has never forgiven him.
VILLAIN:
Unbeatable – He has the resources to stop the hero at every turn.
Plan/goal – To completely disgrace the hero in the eyes of his kids.
What he stands to lose – The respect of his stepchildren, and his standing in the community if his unscrupulous nature is revealed.
IMPOSSIBLE MISSION:
Puts hero in action – Hero must deliver for his clients alone because the villain has run off the hero’s men.
Demands they go beyond their best – The villain turns up the heat on the hero by using his connections in the city.
Destroy the villain – Hero completes his rounds to save his business, then exposes the villain’s dishonesty and treachery.
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Dave’s Conventions
What I learned from this assignment: Once again my first impulse is to write a comedy.
CONCEPT: Delivery driver must complete his rounds on Christmas Eve.
HERO: Weary divorced dad.
DEMAND FOR ACTION: Must not let his kids down again.
MISSION: Must make it to his ex-wife’s house to play Santa.
ANTAGONIST: Ex-wife’s new husband
ESCALATING ACTION: A minefield of obstacles, man-made and natural. -
Hello. My name is Dave Halligan
I’ve completed 6 scripts. I hope the next will be lucky number 7.
I’d really like to improve and escalate my storytelling.
While retired from a business career, I enjoy my part-time job selling ice cream at PPG Arena in Pittsburgh. -
I agree to the terms of this release form.
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I just spent the last hour reading posts from the Character Mastery and Scene Mastery classes I enjoyed last year with Screenwriting U. Every lesson was followed by dozens of responses from my classmates. They were truly forums for discussion and learning. Sadly no one has answered the call on this course for two weeks now. I feel somewhat cheated. So, I’m tapping out.
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I’m still working on my outline for a contained comedy short. It’s coming along quite well. But that isn’t what I’m writing about here. Tonight I watched two cable series episodes. Each featured a wedding scene. They could not be more different.
The characters of “Chesapeake Shores” gathered for the wedding of two of the main characters. The show did everything we expect from a Hallmark series. A measured amount of drama. No wound too deep or secret too disturbing for these likable folks. An hour’s diversion. Nothing wrong there.
On Showtime’s “American Rust” the wedding of minor characters brought the principals together in tense and revealing scenes. Layers painfully ripped off like scabs, showing past traumas and foreshadowing troubles to come.
This brings me back to our “contained screenplay” course. “A.R.” is one of 5 features/series filmed around Pittsburgh this year. The wedding scene alone had about 30 actors including children. Recently, one filmmaker put out a call for extras. Maybe, hopefully, we’ve turned a corner. -
I think I learned a few things from this experience. Sometimes a new class helps me grasp a concept from a previous lesson. I’m building a deeper understanding of screenwriting and my own work. Thank you for that.
I’m disappointed that participation in the forum hasn’t been up to standard. That’s always been an important part of previous courses.
I am working on a detailed outline for my comedy short screenplay. Maybe I’ll post it when I’m ready to write the script.
Dave Halligan, Pgh. -
Dave’s (Short Film) Budget
What I learned doing this assignment is:
Estimating the budget is something I’ve seldom considered when writing a story, and never at this early stage. If I’m doing it now, I must have learned something. At first I thought this assignment was pointless but now I see merit.
Ways to cut the budget on my 1950’s period piece:
— I plan only one actor on set for the entire movie. Others will be voice-overs. As I haven’t written one word of the story yet I can only try to keep in mind economy and Covid issues.
— Stock footage of a snow storm should be easy to acquire and be cheaper than special effects. All the action takes place inside the telephone company office.
— A teacher once told my writing class: “Write as if ink costs a thousand dollars an ounce.” I always try to write concisely and economically.
— Cast a local stage actor. I’ve seen enough live theater to know that there are great actors in every town.
Ways to increase the budget:
— Make the script star-worthy. Make it a part that an out of work star would jump at. Actors love to act, even in a short film if times are tough.
— Casting a star would require extra assistants and TLC.
— It’s New Year’s Eve 1951. One could spend lots of money on music. Like the “L. A. Confidential” soundtrack.
— A stray kitten, in from the storm, would tug at the heart and the purse if we also hired a pet wrangler and ASPCA rep.
— Costs vary depending on the equipment hired for the shoot.
— There are countless ways to spend money, especially other people’s money.
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Dave writes Great Hope/Fear (Comedy Short)
What I learned doing this assignment is:
Keep the pressure on. It’s better to build things into the story at this stage than it is during rewrites.
Brainstorm Hope/Fear Moments
Act 1:
1950’s Telephone operator, Audrey, hasn’t worked the switchboard in ten years. The equipment is new to her. She worries that she’s lost touch. (Keep in mind, this is a short that all takes place on one set with one actor. The other parts will be VOs.)
Audrey hopes her husband will not have car trouble in the blizzard. And that her kids will be all right alone until their dad gets home.
Audrey hopes her sister, for whom she is filling in, has a good time on the date Audrey set up for her.
Act 2:
Audrey worries that is she goofs up too bad her sister will get fired.
Audrey’s husband, the town vet, is on his way to a distant farm.
Audrey blames herself when her sister’s date turns out to be a dud.
Act 3:
Audrey’s sister is still at the NYE party. Now she blames Audrey for her bad date.
Audrey’s boys are home alone and fighting over stuff.
The farmer’s wife calls on the distant party line. Audrey’s husband hasn’t arrived yet and they need him.
Act 4:
Her drunken sister burdens Audrey with her unpromising love life.
The farmer’s cow and calf are in trouble. They need the vet now but he’s still lost in the blizzard. Audrey must recall her upbringing on a farm to help save the animals.
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Dave’s 4 Act (Comedy Short) Structure
What I learned doing this assignment is:
My story is opening up and revealing things to me.
Create a first draft of my 4 Act Structure.
1.
Concept: A housewife works the switchboard of a small town telephone company during a blizzard on New Year’s Eve in 1950. All the scenes are set in the office, and the housewife/Audrey is the only character on screen though we will hear several others.
Main Conflict: She’s had a tiff with her husband who’s lost in the storm. He’s the town vet but we don’t suspect that until the midpoint.
2.
Act 1
— Opening: Audrey fills in for her sister on the switchboard.
— Inciting Incident: Audrey’s kids are home alone.
— Turning Point: The vet is wanted for an emergency at a distant farm.
Act 2
— New Plan: A sub-story develops concerning the town’s mayor and the governor’s office.
— Plan in Action: Audrey learns how to operate the new-used equipment.
— Midpoint: The vet has yet to arrive at the farm. Audrey’s sister’s story of her date gone wrong has a midpoint here as well.
Act 3
— Rethink Everything: The missing vet is Audrey’s husband.
— New Plan: Audrey goes from being angry at her husband to worrying about him.
— Turning Point: The farmer’s cow is struggling but the vet is still not there.
Act 4
— Final Plan: Audrey makes a bold suggestion.
— Climax: The cow and calf are in trouble. The vet is still not there.
— Resolution: Audrey helps the farmer save his calf. Her husband, the vet, arrives safely at the farm, and calls her. They make up.
3.
Improvements/Additional Big Picture Points for Antagonist:
— I still see this as a comedy short screenplay but I’ll try to pack it with action, humor, and subtext.
— I like the subplot about Audrey’s sister, a bootlegger, and a truckload of moonshine that I created in the last lesson. I’m sure I can use it.
— Every call (antagonists) must present a problem of sorts for Audrey. By the end, she must solve them all and in someway be transformed.
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Dave’s (Comedy Short) Delivering Multiple Layers.
What I Learned Doing This Assignment:
Breaking down the story like this leads to insights and breakthroughs.
1. Brainstorm Potential Plot Layers
— Major Scheme Revealed:
I don’t know that I have any “schemes” in my short comedy. Do I need them? I guess I’m not sure what you mean by schemes.
— Mystery Revealed:
This could pertain to a storyline, noted below, about Audrey’s sister and the bootlegger. It has possibilities. But can I work it into this short script?
— Thought It Was One Thing But It’s Another:
The town vet that Audrey is trying to reach in the blizzard is her husband.
— Major Shift in Meaning:
We learn that Audrey’s is doubly worried about the missing vet’s whereabouts because she’s married to him.
— Hidden History:
Audrey had an emergency last NYE. Her husband was not around. It’s NYE again.
— Hidden Plan:
Audrey wants to fix up her sister with the governor’s aide whom she has just met on the phone tonight.
2. Brainstorm Potential Character Layers
— Secret Identity:
Brainstorming here: Maybe Audrey’s sister’s NYE date is a bootlegger who leaves her alone at the party to do business.
— Intrigue Layers:
There’s tension between Audrey and her husband. He doesn’t like her meddling and matchmaking.
— Hidden Relationships and Conspiracies:
The bootlegger and the sheriff might be in cahoots. No, not the sheriff. Too typical. Maybe it’s the owner of the phone company, and Audrey discovers she’s babysitting a truckload of moonshine.
— Hidden Character History:
I don’t think I can “wound” the characters too deeply in a short comedy. But maybe I can think of something embarrassing but not painful.
3. Brainstorm Potential Location Layers
— Hidden Operation:
The action all takes place in the office but calls from all over town reveal the drama. One caller might be engaged in bootlegging. He could be very busy on NYE.
— Deeper Meaning:
Her husband’s trip to the farmer in distress reminds Audrey of last NYE.
Trap to Draw Prey:
Audrey might lure the governor’s aide into a date with her sister.
— Unique Sub-World:
Some insight into the life of a post-war housewife might be revealing to younger readers/viewers.
4. Layers Chosen
— Surface Layer:
A night in the life of a small town switchboard operator.
— Beneath That:
Audrey’s personal drama with her husband plays out. As do the stories of her sister, the farmer, and others.
— How Revealed:
Audrey’s brief conversations with her husband, their sons, and Audrey’s sister need to be thick with subtext. And be funny.
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Dave’s (1950’s Comedy Short) Character Journeys
What I learned doing this assignment:
A few things about each of my characters.
Journey Structures for each main character
Beginning:
Audrey – Novice switchboard operator, alone in the office on New Year’s Eve during a blizzard.
Audrey’s Sister – Out on a date arranged by Audrey.
Audrey’s Husband – He’s smarting from an argument he had with Audrey over her matchmaking and meddling.
Audrey’s Sons – ages 12 and 8 – are home alone which leads to Audrey’s first turning point.
Turning Point:
Audrey’s husband, the town vet, is driving in the storm to help a farm family.
Sister – Her date looks like a dud. She blames Audrey.
Sons – Call Audrey to fight over dinner/dishes. The younger boy worries about his dad.
Town Mayor – Expecting a call from the state capital.
Midpoint:
The farmer’s wife calls Audrey. The vet hasn’t arrived at the farm yet.
Sister – Still at the NYE party, having fun drinking and ignoring her date.
Sons – Call Audrey to argue about radio programs.
Governor’s Aide – Calls the mayor.
Turning Point @2:
The farmer’s wife calls again. The calf is coming and the vet still isn’t there.
Sister – Still drinking, worries that she’ll never find a good man like Audrey did.
Dilemma:
Something is wrong with the cow. They need the vet now!
Sons – Now the older boy worries about his dad.
Third Act Climax:
Audrey uses her farm upbringing to help the farmers.
End:
Audrey’s husband arrives just as the calf is born. He surprises Audrey on the phone. Tearful happy ending.
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Dave’s (Comedy Short) Character Depth.
What I learned doing this assignment: When I get stuck, I have resources from previous classes I can call on.
1. “Audrey” Internal Character Depth
— Motivation: Helping others.
— Secret: Thinks she can solve everybody’s problems.
— Wound: Lost a child once.
– Subtext: Moms rule!
— Layers: She grew up on a farm.
Character to Character
— Conflict: Had an argument with her husband before the storm, now she can’t reach him.
— Hidden Agenda: Wants to fix up her sister with someone.
— Conspiracy: Does Audrey believe God is conspiring?
— Intrigue: Audrey suspects that the mayor’s doofus brother-in-law is mismanaging the public works dept.?
Character Situation
— Dilemma: Several problems to solve. And she’s just filling in on the “New/used” switchboard.
— Secret (to her) Identity: She’s not as confident as she appears. Put on a happy face!
2. Profiles for Other Characters
— Sister – On a bad date which Audrey set up. Wonders if she’ll ever find a man as good as Audrey’s husband.
— Kid #1 – Boy, 12. Very worried about his dad.
— Kid #2 – Boy, 8. More worried about his turtle.
— Husband – Had an argument with Audrey about her matchmaking/meddling. He’s the dedicated town vet, out in the storm to deliver a calf. He makes his only appearance (O.S.) on the last page for the happy ending, but we should know all about him by then.
— Farmer’s wife – Trying to get help from Audrey’s husband, the town vet, but he’s long overdo.
— Town Mayor – Eager to take credit for emergency response but equally ready to blame others if things go wrong.
— The Governor’s Aide – A conscientious young man. How will he react when Audrey wants to fix him up with her sister?
— The Sheriff – Cares about the town crazies.
— The Old Guy with Shotgun – Audrey tells him that the sheriff can’t come and arrest him for firing off his shotgun at midnight which is an annual NYE tradition.
3. Compare Characters to find Conflicts
— The narcissistic town mayor can easily be conflicted by the governor/aide and the sheriff.
— The kids are likely to fight over something. Radio programs, maybe? Treats? Christmas presents? Friends?
— Audrey and her sister are naturals for conflict.
— Audrey and her husband are in the aftermath of a trivial argument. Remember, a trivial argument can be loaded with subtext.
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Dave’s Right Characters
What I learned doing this assignment:
I value our forum. Reading the posts of classmates often helps me clarify elements of a lesson.
1. Think about Concept Hook and Contained Setting:
Even though this script will be a comedy short, I plan on using as much stuff as I can from all my ScreenwritingU courses to make it great. My only character on screen is a telephone operator but instead of her being a virtuoso on the switchboard she’s a novice filling in for her sister. I plan on throwing obstacles in front of her on every page.
The whole film will take place in the telephone office, and I think there will be enough sights and sounds to hold interest. I thought about writing in a cat. If the actor brought her own pet would we still need a wrangler and an ASPCA rep?
The office could be a shack on the edge of town or maybe it’s in the backroom of some kind of shop or hotel if I can find a good reason for it. Perhaps it’s right on Main St. with a window on the storm raging outside.
In any case, the operator must eventually clear every hurdle and be a social media star on the busiest night of the year.
2. How can main characters uniquely fit the Hook?
The operator uses her Mom Skills and her upbringing on a farm to handle all that comes her way during the New Year’s Eve blizzard.
3. How does each main character cause or enhance conflict?
Phone calls from her kids, her sister, and others present dilemmas. And the operator (Audrey?) is already out of her ordinary world at FADE IN but seems in command of that world by FADE OUT. Pretty good if I can pull it off.
Audrey’s husband is the town vet. He’s out in the storm where Audrey can’t reach him.
4. What makes these characters Right for This Story?
These characters share the common experience of living in a small Pennsylvania mining town during a bygone era.
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Dave’s Great Hooks!
How did this process work for me? I like this exercise. It forced me to concentrate and differentiate.
What I learned doing this assignment: At this stage, some of these ideas can still develop into different genres.
Assignment 1.
A. Intriguing Contained Setting:
The basement of a tornado-ravaged house.
B. Unique Device:
Flood water is rushing in.
C. Unique Monster/Villain:
Another tornado is coming.
D. Mystery:
Why are these 2 trapped strangers in a house where they don’t belong?
E. Impossible Goal:
Working together to get out in time.
F. Unique Layers:
The men have secrets that makes them enemies.
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A. Setting: Antique Shop.
B. Device: The shopkeeper has a priceless relic.
C. Monster: A riot in the streets.
D. Mystery: Would the shopkeeper take a life to save his own?
E. Goal: The old man saving his shop and himself.
F. Unique Layers: The shopkeeper’s childhood in a Nazi prison camp. The young looter’s life in the projects.
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A. Setting: The woods. A national park.
B. Device: A writer and a photographer on assignment from National Geographic are injured and lost.
C. Monster: Nature is against them.
D. Mystery: What are they really looking for in an off-limits section of the park? Could it be supernatural?
E. Goal: Get out alive.
F. Layers: One is at the end of his career while the other is on his first big assignment.
——————
A. Setting: Desert road.
B. Device: Someone dumped a man in a body bag in the middle of nowhere. Someone else is out to finish him off.
C. Monster: An unknown menace in a big truck.
D. Mystery: What is the man hiding?
E. Goal: The man must get to the next town where he hopes it is safe.
F. Layers: Is he a good guy or as bad as the others?
—————–
A. Setting: An enchanted cottage.
B. Device: A magic spell has been cast on a little girl.
C. Monster: A cunning giant spider.
D. Mystery: Who’s side is the mischievous fairy on?
E. Goal: The little girl wants to find her grandfather.
F. Layers: Wounds and secrets are revealed by all.
—————
A. Setting: A small town coffeehouse.
B. Device: Two disparate strangers learn about each other and come out of their shells.
C. Monster: Their emotional baggage.
D. Mystery: Have their paths crossed before?
E. Goal: To keep their secrets.
F. Layers: Each has wounds they’re afraid to reveal.
————–
A. Setting: A ghost ship.
B. Device: A legendary treasure.
C. Monster: The ghost of the former first officer.
D. Mystery: Can a mermaid be trusted? Does the treasure even exist?
E. Goal: Husband and wife seek a precious jewel.
F. Layers: Can they trust each other? Do they value the prize more than their love?
—————
A. Setting: Mining colony on an asteroid.
B. Device: The asteroid has veered off course.
C. Monster: The rest of the crew perished in an accident. The two survivors can not survive the harsh conditions for long.
D. Mystery: Was the space collision really an accident?
E: Goal: Prevent the asteroid from colliding with Earth.
F. Layers: The 2 survivors, a hydroponic gardener/cook and an engineer, summon hidden skills.
—————
A. Setting: The catwalk around a water tower.
B. Device: A prize for the character who can withstand the tedium and the elements the longest.
C. Monster: A radio DJ who manipulates the contestants.
D. Mystery: Is there an insidious purpose to this spectacle?
E. Goal: Each of the three remaining contestants needs the prize money for a different reason.
F. Layers: Desperation. Hazards. Threats.
—————
A. Setting: Small town telephone office, 1950’s.
B. Device: The operator must solve a wide range of problems.
C. Monster: Blizzard.
D. Mystery: Where is the operator’s husband?
E. Goal: Help the town get through the night.
F: Layer: While serving others, we learn the operator’s character.
—————
2.
Ask the High Concept Question:
Having to do with small town life in the 1950’s, what haven’t we seen before? Social media.
3.
Brainstorming:
The operator is alone in the office, of course. Her replacement has called off. Her kids are home alone. Her husband is the town vet and he’s on his way to a distant farm to deliver a calf. But he hasn’t reached his destination because of the storm. The operator is deluged with the town’s troubles. And it’s New Year’s eve. Lots of flaming torches to juggle.
4.
Does this story have a hook? If I have to ask then it probably doesn’t. I’ll keep looking for the right elements.
5.
This is the story I want to write, but is it the one I can do best?
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GUIDELINES FOR DAVE’S (COMEDY SHORT) SCREENPLAY
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT:
When I put my own screenplay to the test I realized that it isn’t right for these times. Pity. I like that story but I won’t enter it into another contest now.
PART 1
I enjoyed doing the pre-course exercise and quickly came up with 10 ideas that fit the 4 elements for a contained movie. But I already see a few potential problems such as pets, special effects, and maybe costumes. One idea is a fantasy story that might be suitable for animation.
The story I plan on writing will be a short comedy with one actor on set and others as VO as done skillfully in “Locke.” It’s all on one location. The costume is period but probably something the actress could find in a thrift shop. Stock footage of a blizzard can be used for a couple establishing shots.
Write a pitch in one or two sentences.
In a small mining town in Pennsylvania during the great New Year’s Eve blizzard of 1950, social media means just one thing: The Possum Creek Party Line. “Number, please.”
Something Unique.
It’s got to be the tireless Switchboard Operator. (Audrey?) Snowbound in the office. Her kids are home alone. Her husband is the town vet and is out on a call. He can’t be reached. Half the town is partying, including her replacement who can’t make it in. Audrey is the most important person in town tonight. And she’s funny. Well, she better be funny.
PART 2.
Adjust “The Christmas Garden” to Covid Guidelines.
This is my most recent feature script. So instead of an already produced movie I’m doubling down on this assignment. I’ll test my own story against this new model. A self-inflicted wound is coming, I’m sure.
AS I WROTE IT:
A. People: At least a dozen speaking parts.
B. Stunts: There’s a dancing scene.
C. Extras: Hotel guests. A town square crowd. Family.
D. Wardrobe: Contemporary, but varied.
E. Hair & Make Up: Same as above.
F. Kids & Animals: Sisters ages 13, 10, and 4. A few horses, grazing.
G. Quarantine: I’d need a hotel for everyone involved.
COVID GUIDELINE VERSION:
A. People: I could cut a few characters. I’d have to find a few more funny scenes to compensate for it.
B. Stunts: Kill the dance number.
C. Extras: Who needs them. Tree-lighting ceremonies are super spreaders, anyway.
D. Wardrobe: They gotta wear costumes or we’ll never make the Hallmark Channel.
E. Hair & Make Up: That will still be expensive.
F. Kids & Animals: Must lose two of the girls and the horses. Any one of the sisters could expand their part. I wouldn’t mind writing that at all, except that it takes more than one flower to make a garden.
G. Quarantine: A slightly smaller hotel.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by Dave Halligan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by
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Hello.
I’m Dave Halligan, Pittsburgh.
I have written 6 screenplays, and have completed 6 courses with Screenwriting U.
I am retired from a career in business although I continue to work part time at PPG Arena for concerts and Penguins hockey.
During this class I hope to create a contained short comedy script. -
I agree to the Group Confidentiality Agreement for Screenwriting U.
David J. Halligan
Pittsburgh.
August 24, 2021
coffeedave212@gmail.com -
Lesson 5 Applying Action Subtext
Dave’s Comedy Short 5/9/21
For the past year I’ve been trying to develop a short film script. Harder than it seems. Maybe this is it.
“Tarzan Meets the Snow Beast”
(Based on a True Story)
In the winter of 1968 a group of boys from a Catholic high school gather in the woods to shoot a film for a class project. With college and the draft looming, the teens mask their fears by playing various zany roles. And their silliness reveals the parts they will play in the big picture called adulthood.
“Absurdity is the only reality.” Zappa.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by Dave Halligan.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by
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Applying Situation Subtext Lesson 4 Assignment
Dave’s Crime Thriller “Nightfall” 5/3/21
What I learned doing this assignment is… I’ll get back to you.
Early in the script, KEVIN CONLIN – small time hood – talks his girlfriend/accomplice SHERRY JONES into robbing a fashionable boutique. The action begins as she enters the shop while Kevin’s dialog (O.S.) promises her “It’ll be easy.” Of course, things go wrong.
In another scene, Sherry is unhappy with small payoff for their latest job, and she threatens to call one of her clients from her days as a high-priced hooker, saying she’s “coming out of retirement.” A few scenes later when the scale of their robberies has escalated, Kevin brandishes a revolver saying “It’s coming out of retirement.” And will lead them into deeper trouble.
I could go on. But I have a question for the forum. I’ve never mentioned a character’s race in a description. I’ve always seen Kevin as a white guy but can readily envision Sherry as black. Would it qualify as subtext if I describe her that way? Many of the listings I read in InkTip and other services ask for scripts written for specific ethnicities. Should I arbitrarily define a character’s race for the sake of attracting more readers?
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Applying Character Subtext Lesson 3
Dave’s Crime Thriller “Nightfall” 5/2/21
What I learned doing this assignment is… My story holds up to scrutiny.
Small time crook KEVIN CONLIN’S life is an escalating series of bad choices. In the end he will choose to do one great thing for the woman he loves and their unborn child though it costs him his life.
As a high-priced call girl, SHERRY JONES wanted a high class lifestyle with no thought of love. In the end she will find that life though it will be without Kevin, the man she loves.
Special Agent DOCKERY personifies the best the FBI has to offer but when things get personal his pursuit of Kevin sends him toward a violent resolution.
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Lesson 2 Subtext Mastery 5/2/21
Dave’s Crime Thriller “Nightfall”
What I learned doing this lesson is… When I began the assignments for this course I chose an old script, one I freshened up last year, to evaluate using these new techniques.
“Nightfall” is basically a road picture. A pair of criminals/lovers (Kevin and Sherry) flee from the trouble they’ve created and get into deeper trouble along the way. Off the top of my head I listed almost 30 locations in the script. (I’m sure there are more.) Giving each scene environmental subtext would be as difficult as shooting in so many places. But if it’s all there the payoff would be worth the effort. I will quickly examine a few scenes.
Main Subtext Environments:
Pawn Shop – Kevin tries to retrieve something priceless he pawned earlier without knowing how valuable it is. This is Kevin’s life in a nutshell.
Train Car – Moving/Still – While the train crosses Pennsylvania suspense builds for the action we see at the end of the line.
Mansion/Library – After stealing back the priceless vase, Kevin and Sherry sell it to a rich art collector who was once a client of hers when she was a call girl. Kevin is out of place where Sherry seems at home.
On The Road – Kevin and Sherry “head south” geographically and figuratively.
Rest Stop – Here we see Sherry, ex-hooker and drug addict, show that she’s got a maternal side when she and Kevin meet a young mom with her 2 kids. The subtext is in the irony: father-to-be Kevin is a felon while the 2 kids’ dad is a state trooper.
Derelict Farmhouse – At the end of Act 2, Sherry has admitted to Kevin that she’s carrying his child. In an abandoned house that’s falling apart they become a family.
Country Church/Church Bus – Kevin steals the bus during a gospel service and uses it to elude police.
Trailer/Home – Kevin’s native environment contrasts with the rich guy’s mansion which we learn in the resolution is Sherry’s future.
I’ll bet if I looked closely at more scenes I would find subtext in the environments.
Thank you Hal & Cheryl.
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Hello. Re: Warrior I don’t see how the fights in the cages are an example of Environmental Subtext. That’s what the cage is for. One cannot escape the fight.
Dave. -
I did not outline the story I developed for the course. I had no intention of making it my next project. Still, it’s in my head now, so maybe someday. My comic action movie poses interesting challenges. I think it would be fun to write a magical realist script.
I’m currently working on a thriller, and taking a course on Dickens’ Christmas Carol.
Keep in touch.
Dave, Pgh. -
You don’t waste words.
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Raz. I’ve been following your posts. Looks like you’ve got a grasp on your story. Good luck with it.
Dave, Pgh.
ps. I watched smiths make Naginatas on “Forged in Fire.” Awesome weapons. -
Sorry to read about your loss.
I hope you can carry on.
Dave, Pgh. -
Dave’s Hero’s Likability/Empathy/Justification
What I learned doing this lesson:
This assignment is difficult because I don’t know my hero yet. He’s still a man with no name in a story I probably won’t write. But I’m learning and enjoying this course.
LIKABILITY
– Hero’s diligence inspires the quirky townsfolk.
– He is resourceful, changing tack quickly when needed.
– He is generous with his employees.
– His pleasant manner impresses even a robot.
– His team drives Vespa scooters. Who doesn’t love Vespas.
– He doesn’t realize how funny he is.
EMPATHY/DISTRESS
– He has no name yet. Maybe it will stay that way.
– He is outmanned when the rest of his crew are attacked by drones, run off course, and had their vehicles stolen.
– His own trusty scooter is sabotaged by the villain.
– The odds are always against him, but we love underdogs.
JUSTIFICATION
– He longs for his ex who is now with the villain.
– He wants to preserve the unique character of the village.
– He has everything at stake in this competition/race.
FIRST ACT SEQUENCE
Opening – Hero leads delivery service from a command center in his picture book village. He is punctual, efficient, and meticulous, and he demands the same from his crew.
His men drive a variety of old fashioned bicycles, scooters, and carts. Tradition is what Hero values most.
Inciting Incident – Villain starts a rival service using robots and drones.
He has a long-standing disdain for Hero. He despises his cheerfulness and industry, and he has stolen Hero’s girl.
Hero’s men and Villain’s robots clash as they vie for customers. Just as Villain had hoped.
Hero realizes the village isn’t big enough for the both of them. Which is what Villain is counting on.
End of Act 1 – Hero challenges Villain to a great race to decide who will stay and who will go. I hear The Clash!
He must save his business and in doing so preserve his little town. And hope to get his girl back by exposing Villain as a villain.
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Dave’s Action Comedy Villain Track
What I learned doing this assignment:
I still haven’t thought about a title, characters’ names, or even one line of dialog. Very unusual.
The Villain’s plan to accomplish evil outcome:
He schemes to win a lucrative contract to deliver Christmas cookies for a cherished local bakery using whatever means are necessary.
The Villain’s plan to crush the hero:
By stealing the contract from the hero and making him look like the perpetual loser his family has known.
Villain’s ways to attack:
1. He waylays the hero’s employees from reporting to work.
2. He blackmails a public official to close a bridge.
3. He bribes an inspector to impound the hero’s vehicles.
4. Paints the hero as hopeless dreamer
The villain’s advantage:
Lots of money and friends in high places, and he has the will to crush the hero.
How he uses it:
Bribery, blackmail, propaganda.
The villain’s painful demise:
Proven to be unscrupulous, run out of town by his own mechanized workers.
Additional track labels
Mistake – Doesn’t realize that people root for an underdog.
Dilemma – He knows that his fiancee’ (the hero’s ex-wife) will not marry him if she discovers his evil ways.
Decision – To be even more devious.
New Plan – Kidnap the hero.
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Hi. Nice job, Breyanna.
Looks like you have a good idea where you’re going.
Dave, Pgh. -
Hi. It sounds like you’ve got a handle on your drama. I especially like the part about the conflicting secrets. Good job. Dave.
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I’d like to read it when it’s ready.
Keep in touch. -
Hi, Lauren. I’m not clear on your surface story from just this posting but it sounds fascinating. If you can write a script with such potential, I would like to read it. In times such as these, where truth is often in peril, your story could prove to be powerful and attractive. Go for it!
Dave H. Pittsburgh. -
Hi. I benefitted from the lessons teaching me how to build Mystery, Intrigue, and Suspense. And how to stack those elements in (hopefully) every scene. It certainly helped me. Dave.
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Jeffrey, I like the bit where Sarah pieces the pottery together and it causes a flashback. I could see that as I read it. And then the cave. “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” Cool. Dave.
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Hi, Evelyn. This can be a powerful if story if it’s done well. I admire your ambition of turning it into a series. Best of luck. I’ll be watching. Dave.
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Hello. I like the way you put it: a way to play with different themes. Good luck with your script. Dave.
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Hi, Joseph. I’m surprised at the number of fantasy scripts Hal & Cheryl’s students are writing. This is my fifth course and it seems like there are always good fantasy stories. I may have to rethink the genre. Good luck. Dave.
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Thanks. Twice I’ve come close to deals with young producer/directors but they were short on production funds. Maybe someday. Dave.
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Gloria, I like “Kitchen Ambition.” I can see a few levels. Good job. Dave.
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Hi. You’ve really got a handle on your story. I’m guessing it will make an attractive part for a young actress. Good luck. Dave.
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Hi, Patrick. I like your story. It’s different enough to stand out. I wonder what the tone of the script is. I can see it being serious and threatening, but it also has comic potential. Dave.
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Hello, Barbara. The deeper meaning you found is likely a good thing. You learned things about your characters. Dave.
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Hello. Stories of family conflicts always seem to be saleable. Have you taken Hal’s Thriller class? I did last summer and it was very helpful. Good luck. Dave.
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Hi, Rod. I like your ideas. I could see it as I read those few sentences. That’s pretty good. I’ll be watching. Dave.
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Hi, Denise. Your topic hits home with many of us, especially during times such as these. If this is not based on a true story I’ll bet it’s close enough to one. Dave.
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Hi, Joe. I like your premise. You can have a lot of fun writing it. It’s cool to be able to make up your own world. We all wish we could do that in this one. Dave.
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Hi, Catherine. Your story is intriguing. (Special pet? Hmm?) I’d be careful to not get overcomplicated. Good luck. Dave.
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Hi, Deanne. Your story sounds wickedly savage. I’m interested in learning what started the conflict. Dave.
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Hi, Jamie. First I thought, every character with breath has subtext. Then I remembered dead ones with subtext, too. Like Joe Gillis, David Kahane, and probably countless others. So, I guess, everyone needs subtext.
Dave. -
Hi, Joe. Your premise is very interesting. It sounds like a twilight zone type story. Is it a feature? Keep in touch.
Dave. -
Hi, Janeen. Is this really a comedy? I’m interested to see how this goes.
Dave. -
Subtext Mastery Assignment #1 4/3/21
Dave’s Crime Thriller Applying Plot Subtext
SURFACE PLOT: A small time hood KEVIN and his ex-hooker girlfriend SHERRY go on a wild crime spree…
MAJOR TWIST: … and accidentally steal an art object…
TWIST #2: … which they learn is priceless only after they’ve pawned it.
ONE MORE TWIST: Stealing it back sends them on a deadly new course.
DEEPER MEANING: The secret Sherry carries forces Kevin to make the ultimate decision.
What I learned doing this assignment is… This is basically my logline for “NIGHTFALL.” Breaking it down like this shows that it holds up well.