dave korr
Forum Replies Created
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********MAJOR BREAKTHROUGHS ON LESSON 8 MYSTERIES******
Hi, Hal! Thanks for insisting that I enroll in your Bingeworthy with AI class: it has paid off beyond my wildest dreams, causing me to think out of the box! I had huge breakthroughs on the shocking event and the cover up mysteries that make my action sitcom “SHARK STANK” rock! Thanks again! Best, Dave Korr
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Hi Laree. when will this lesson be available?
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I have finally learned how AI can be useful for specifically brainstorming character motivations
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EMOTION PROFILES FOR WEDNESDAY: Wednesday
A. Hope: to be independent / Fear: relying on others – B. Motivation: Want: self reliant / Need: connection with others – C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion: fear of becoming social like her mom / Public Mask: aloof – D. Weaknesses: she’s been tamping down all emotionE. Triggers: being or seeing someone bullied – F. Coping Mechanism: revenge on bullies – Enid A. Situational: Hope: to be accepted by fam by finally wolfing out / Fear: she won’t wolf out and will be a lone wolf forever – B. Motivation: Want: acceptance/ Need: love – C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion: fear of rejection / Public Mask: everyone’s friend – D. Weaknesses: fears being alone forever – E. Triggers: people who treat her coursely – F. Coping Mechanism: run and hide – Tyler – A. Situational: Hope: he’ll find love / Fear: he’s unloveable monster – B. Motivation: Want: wants Wednesday for girlfriend / Need: needs to stop being homicidal monster – C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion: killer / Public Mask: friendly, loving do-gooder – D. Weaknesses: feels not in control – E. Triggers: master commands him to kill – F. Coping Mechanism: blames everything on unfeeling dad -
lesson 4 taught me how to create depth for my main characters.
Sue:Role: hero – Hidden agendas: wants to revenge kill Bakey for stabbing her sister and feeding her to his sadistic shark, Snappy – Competition: Bakey wants to kill Sue for burning his face and Snappy wants to kill Sue for kicking out his eye – Conspiracies: Sue is trying to trick Satan out of taking her dad to Hell after Satan tricked her dad into it –
Secrets: 3-year old Sue told all that mom ran off but was ashamed to tell she was responsible for Snappy eating mom – Deception: Sue will lead Satan ’til she can save dad from Hell – Wound: responsible for mom and sis being eaten by Snappy – Secret Identity: none
Bakey: Role: wants revenge by killing Sue, Snappy’s master – Hidden agendas: hit-man training Snappy to kill godfather – Competition: he and Sue trying to kill each other – Conspiracies: will team up with Satan to drag Sue to Hell – Secrets: he wanted to steal coke from godfather & Scarfatche – Deception: he’s always stalking Sue – Wound: Sue maimed him – Secret Identity: none – Snappy: Role: Bakey’s sadistic hit-shark enhanced & enslaved by drug addiction – Hidden agendas: Snappy resents Bakey addicting & enslaving him – Competition: Snappy wants to revenge kill Su for kicking his eye out Conspiracies: wants to kill Bakey too – Secrets: he’s enjoying the sadistic effect drugs have on him – Deception: he’s always stalking Sue – Wound: Sue kicked his eye out – Secret Identity: none – Satan:Role: Sue’s ultimate big bad and source of her troubles – Hidden agendas: only God & Watchy know Satan’s tired of Hell and wants back into Heaven. He bets God he can get Sue to replace him in Hell to get back into Heaven & get even with the angels who laughed when God booted Satan – Competition: Satan competes with God & Sue to win – Conspiracies: Satan bet God he’d get Sue to replace him in Hell to get back into Heaven – Secrets: the bet with God and that Satan was responsible for Sue’s woe to get her to replace him in Hell – Deception: he always tries to deceives everyone, especially Sue & God – Wound: angels laughed at him when God booted him from Heaven – Secret Identity: pretends to be helpful but is evil – Rob:Role: Sue’s ex-boyfriend – Hidden agendas: he’s been blackmailed into reluctantly helping Satan get Sue to replace Satan in Hell for $s – Competition: Bakey stalking him – Conspiracies: he’s secretly helping Satan get Sue to replace him for a billion bucks – Secrets: he’s selling Sue out Deception: he pretends he’s helping Sue but is selfish – Wound: Sue blew him off after Cher got eaten – Secret Identity: agent for Satan -
Also, Laree, can you please get me the download link for the free CHATGBT that has the left-side menu for deleting history? Thanks!
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What did I learn from engaging characters? I learned that not only my hero but all my major characters needed to have intrigue.
Sue’s journey in SHARK STANK is: to avenge sister’s and mom’s deaths by getting even with shark and serial killer who killed them and finally with Satan, who at the end was uncovered to be behind it all.A. Sue role in show: Sue must save pals from certain death by a sadistic shark, his serial killer master, and finally from fate worse than death from Satan himself
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Sue threw javalin in track and is driven by revenge to save pals from shark, Bakey & Satan
C. Intrigue: why did mom run away & cuz Sue relentless guilt?
D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing? Is it OK for Sue to try to kill shark and master to exact revenge?
E. Unpredictable: What will they do next? How will Su save pals by killing shark, serial killer, and Satan himself?
F. Empathetic: Why care? Sue lost sis & maybe mom to shark who stalks Sue with serial killer as they & Satan stalk herA. Rob Role in the show: tries to help Sue save everyone without killing
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Rob is moral, loving compass for Sue
C. Intrigue: Satan is blackmailing Rob to get him Sue but Rob is resisting
D. Moral Issue: will Rob defy Satan and keep Sue from killing for revenge?
E. Unpredictable: will Rob: kill to save Sue and pals and defy Satan?
F. Empathetic: he loves Su and wants to get back with her but must defy SatanA. Snappy Role in the show: sadistic killer wanting revenge on Sue for eye loss
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Snappy is a drug-smartened hit shark
C. Intrigue: how did his master drug and train Snappy to be hit-shark?
D. Moral Issue: shark has no morals as an instinctual killing machine
E. Unpredictable: will Snappy turn on his hit-man drug-pushing master?
F. Empathetic: shark is being drugged and abused by his masterA. Bacon Face in the show: unstopable killer wants revenge on Sue for maiming
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Bakey vengefully stalks Sue to kill her, get even
C. Intrigue: how did Bakey get a shark to train to be a hit-shark?
D. Moral Issue: is Bakey’s vengefulness warranted as is enslaving a shark?
E. Unpredictable: will Snappy turn on his hit-man drug-pushing master?
F. Empathetic: Sue maimed Bakey as he was trying to save SueA. Satan Role in the show: Satan was behind all mayhem from start to finish
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Satan uses super powers to get back into Heaven
C. Intrigue: why did Satan pick Sue to replace him on throne of Hell ??
D. Moral Issue: is evil really way to get back into Heaven?
E. Unpredictable: what will Satan do the get back into Heaven on a deadline?
F. Empathetic: God keeps striking Satan with lightning to keep him out of Heaven -
CIRCLE OF CHARACTERS FOR SHARK STANK, LESSON 2: MAIN CHAR CIRCLE:
SUE: cute, klutzy goodhearted heroine who turns vengeful to get even with the shark who ate her sis and his serial killer owner. ROB: Sue's loving boyfriend broke up with her cuz Sue got obsessed with getting revenge on shark and serial killer
BAKEY: hitman serial killer who stabbed Sue's sis by mistake and inadvertently fed sis to his drug enhanced hit shark
SNAPPY: a drug smartened shark that Bakey addicted to Gladderal so he can train shark to kill for hire
SATAN: devil who bets God he can get back into Heaven by tricking Sue into replacing him in Hell
CONNECTED CIRCLE: Ali, Chiquita, Olga, Cher, Andy, Kev, Marlon, Braydoh, Watchy, God.
ENVIRONMENT CIRCLE: failed rescuers, dangerous sea life, swim race crowd. -
this is the version I’m looking for and can’t find. Hal would know where to download it:
https://openai.com/index/new-ways-to-manage-your-data-in-chatgpt/ -
Hi Laree, can you please send me the link for the free Chatgbt download that shows the leftside menu that allows you to delete chat history? Thanks!
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CIRCLE OF CHARACTERS FOR SHARK STANK, LESSON 2: MAIN CHAR CIRCLE:
SUE: cute, klutzy goodhearted heroine who turns vengeful to get even with the shark who ate her sis and his serial killer owner. ROB: Sue’s loving boyfriend broke up with her cuz Sue got obsessed with getting revenge on shark and serial killer
BAKEY: hitman serial killer who stabbed Sue’s sis by mistake and inadvertently fed sis to his drug enhanced hit shark
SNAPPY: a drug smartened shark that Bakey addicted to Gladderal so he can train shark to kill for hire
SATAN: devil who bets God he can get back into Heaven by tricking Sue into replacing him in Hell
CONNECTED CIRCLE: Ali, Chiquita, Olga, Cher, Andy, Kev, Marlon, Braydoh, Watchy, God.
ENVIRONMENT CIRCLE: failed rescuers, dangerous sea life, swim race crowd. -
Analysis of WEDNESDAY:
WHAT DID I LEARN: watching an intriguing character solve the season’s big mystery is what keeps us coming back.
BIG HOOK: teen sleuth solves murders at her school for misfits
INTRIGUING CHARS: Wednesday is sadistic, witty loner with clairvoyant and martial art abilities, who stands up for those being bullied
EMPATHY: Wednesday is a constant targe of bullies, narrowly avoids death twice, and has been saved by a homicidal monster
LAYERS/OPEN LOOPS: who is the human who shape-shifts into the homicidal monster? Why is her father considered a murderer? Will Wednesday finally fit in with the other misfits at school?
INVITING OBSESSION: we’ll watch to see if she finds love, acceptance, and if can stop the homicidal monster -
I agree to the terms of the release
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Hi thems! I’m Dave Korr. I’ve written 4 comedy screenplays. I’m currently putting the finishing touches on my 8-episode serial action sitcom called SHARK STANK and have already used the first BWTV lesson to dramatically increase intrigue in the pilot and will soon intrigue-up the other 7 episodes. I have scuba-dived through a school of 50 circling barracudas, though admittedly I was luded out.
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Hi Cheryl! Just got a notice that my bingeworthy class starts today but have no info on what time the zoom is or a zoom sign-on invited. Is there a zoom today, Mon 6/10 for bingeworthy and what time? I also have the 6pm power players class today. Are they simultaneous zooms?
Best,
Dave Korr -
dave Korr lesson 3 pickups: managers want great writers who collaborate and be prolific. Producers want marketable, well written projects for their genre that are easy to sell to actors, directors, funding, ect
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Hi, I’ve created a serial action sitcom called SHARK STANK: it’s JAWS stalking clueless teens on a sinking mega-yacht.
I’ve learned that my targets are lower-level producers associated with action sitcoms, like Angie Tribecca. -
Dave Korr’s revised phone pitch for lesson:
Hi Mr. Spielberg, I’m a creator of action-sitcom pilots. I was wondering if you had time to hear a 10-second pitch for my latest pilot. Cool. It’s a serial action-sitcom called SHARK STANK. It’s like JAWS, stalking clueless teens on a sinking yacht. (Spielberg says: cool, send me the pilot). Glad to. Which email address should I send it to and when would you like me to follow up? (he give address). Great! I’ll send it right out and get back to you this Monday. Great chatting with you. Bye. -
Dave Korr’s query letter redraft for lesson 11:
“Your friggin’ shark ate my mom, my sister, and almost got Granny!”
SHARK STANK is an action sit-com – like FALLOUT – where a cute and klutzy Do-Gooder must battle: a vengeful Schwarzenegger Wannabe, his sadistic drugged-up Fart Shark, and Satan himself on a slowly sinking mega-yacht – all to save her hot and often-naked Teen Pals from getting eaten – and not in the good way.
Ron Perlman would make a great Satan, who’s schemes always backfire.
A teen version of Anna Farris would be perfect as the klutzy Do-Gooder.
BIO: having seen JAWS 22 times helped me to outwit an attacking shark, who kept following me down the Palm Beach shoreline for a mile and a Happy Meal.
If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the pilot script. Thanks.
Best,
Dave Korr
973-901-8181
David.korr@gmail.com -
Dave Korr’s query letter for lesson 11:
“Your friggin’ shark ate my mom, my sister, and almost got Granny!”
SHARK STANK is a action sit-com – like FALLOUT meets JAWS – where a cute and klutzy Do-Gooder battles: a vengeful Schwarzenegger wannabe, his sadistic drugged-up Fart Shark, and Satan himself on a slowly sinking mega-yacht – all to save her hot and often-naked Teen Pals from getting eaten – and not in the good way.
Ron Perlman would make a great Satan, who’s schemes always backfire.
A teen version of Anna Farris would be perfect as the klutzy Do-Gooder.
BIO: having seen JAWS 22 times helped me to outwit an attacking shark, who kept following me down the shoreline for a mile and his Happy Meal.
If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the pilot script. Thanks.
Best,
Dave Korr
973-901-8181
David.korr@gmail.com -
Dave Korr’s query letter for lesson 7:
“Your friggin’ shark ate my mom, my sister, and almost got Granny!”
SHARK STANK is a serial action sit-com – like JAWS meets FALLOUT – set on a slowly sinking mega-yacht, where a cute and klutzy Do-Gooder must battle: a vengeful Schwarzenegger wannabe, his sadistic, drugged-up Fart Shark, and Satan himself, to save her hot and often-naked teen pals from getting eaten – and not in the good way.
BIO: seeing JAWS 22 times helped me to outwit an attacking shark, who then followed me down the shoreline for a mile and a Happy Meal.
If you like my concept, I’d be happy to send you the pilot script. Thanks.
Best,
Dave Korr
973-901-8181
David.korr@gmail.com-
Dave Korr’s query letter for lesson 11:
“Your friggin’ shark ate my mom, my sister, and almost got Granny!”
SHARK STANK is an action sit-com – like FALLOUT meets JAWS – where a cute and klutzy Do-Gooder battles: a vengeful Schwarzenegger wannabe, his sadistic drugged-up Fart Shark, and Satan himself on a slowly sinking mega-yacht – all to save her hot and often-naked Teen Pals from getting eaten – and not in the good way.
Ron Perlman would make a great Satan, who’s constant schemes to get the Do-Gooder to replace him in Hell always backfire.
A teen version of Anna Farris would be perfect as the klutzy Do-Gooder.
BIO: having seen JAWS 22 times helped me to outwit an attacking shark, who kept following me down the shoreline for a mile and a potential Happy Meal.
If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the pilot script. Thanks.
Best,
Dave Korr
973-901-8181
David.korr@gmail.com
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Dave Korr’s phone pitch lesson 9
Hi Mr. Smith, I’m Dave Korr and I was wondering if you’d like to hear my quick pitch for a JAWS meets FALLOUT action-sitcom I’ve created, called SHARK STANK? Thanks. SHARK STANK is a serial action sit-com – like JAWS meets FALLOUT – set on a slowly sinking mega-yacht, where a cute and klutzy Do-Gooder must battle: a vengeful Schwarzenegger wannabe, his sadistic, drugged-up Fart Shark, and Satan himself, to save her hot and often-naked teen pals from getting eaten – and not in the good way. Even with special effects, I think you can produce an 8-episode season at about a half-million per episode, a bit higher if you can sign Ron Perlman to play Satan, who’s constant schemes to blackmail the cute and klutzy heroine always backfire spectacularly. I’d try to find the next teen Anna Farris to play the heroine. My SHARK STANK pilot is 25 pages that end with bang, as Satan causes the heroine to crash and burn their mega-yacht, which drifts out to sea. I saw your company as a natural fit to produce SHARK STANK, as you have had success producing action-sitcoms like ANGIE TRIBECCA and WRECKED. And the 8-episode season ends with an even bigger bang as our heroine faces off with the vengeful Schwarzenegger Wannabe, then his drugged-up Fart Shark, and finally the super-sized Satan to keep her from having to replace Satan on the throne of Hell. If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the pilot script. -
AGREE
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Dave Korr’s query letter for lesson 7:
“Your friggin’ shark ate my mom, my sister, and almost got Granny!”
SHARK STANK is a serial action sit-com – like JAWS meets FALLOUT – set on a slowly sinking mega-yacht, where a cute and klutzy Do-Gooder must battle: a vengeful Schwarzenegger wannabe, his sadistic, drugged-up Fart Shark, and Satan himself, to save her hot and often-naked teen pals from getting eaten – and not in the good way.
BIO: seeing JAWS 22 times helped me to outwit an attacking shark, who then followed me down the shoreline for a mile and a Happy Meal.
If you like my concept, I’d be happy to send you the pilot script. Thanks.
Best,
Dave Korr
973-901-8181
David.korr@gmail.com -
Just watched your Simon Sees video: super professional looking. I’d add a quick montage of the kid fleeing his knife-wielding antagonist. Put him in jeopardy so we can worry about him.
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If the slugger gets frustrated, he can cut down the white house cherry tree with his bat.