[Dean Burkey]

LESSON 16 HOMEWORK:
Dean's Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned doing this assignment is to be willing and open to receiving feedback. ;oP
MYST
Logline: In a small village, a MYSTerious Myst preys on loneliness and fear, isolating its inhabitants and consuming those who succumb to despair. As the villagers struggle to form meaningful connections to survive, they discover that their true enemy may not just be the supernatural Myst, but also the sinister human forces orchestrating their demise.
EXT. SEASIDE TOWN – SUNRISE
Apprehension, Fear, Dread: A MYSTerious MYST moves through a seaside town teeming with new red antennas all around. Tortured screams abound. MYSTerious screams in the MYSTerious MYST.
EXT. CITY HALL – DAY
Apprehension: The aftermath of a horrific event. The Myst leaves silently. Five women lie dead, each with a bullet in her forehead. No one else can be found in this once thriving town.
INT. GOVERNOR'S OFFICE – DAY
Apprehension, Suspense: When informed, the Governor orders that that tragedy be kept out of the news. Wealthy elite Mr. Hargrove agrees to keep everything quiet. A.k.a. The real horror: Government Coverup & Greed: A Lethal Combination.
EXT. PARK / TOWN SQUARE – DAY
Release: Villagers enjoy a casual community picnic. Smoke rises from grills. People stand in line to be served. Children run around playing tag, laughter fills the air.
Surprise, Apprehension, Anxiety, Suspense: VROOM! The thunder of engines breaks the calm serenity as a convoy of Hargrove Communications trucks pull into the square. The workers jump out of those trucks and begin unloading bright red antennas, catching the attention of some villagers.
Apprehension/Anxiety: The villagers exchange glances, murmuring questions about what’s going on. Dr. Evelyn Hart notices the anxious looks among the townspeople. She walks over to speak to one of the workers, but he just gives her a vague smile and says they’re bringing better entertainment for everyone.
Apprehension, Unease: Some of the older villagers, including Marcus, look uneasy. They voice their concerns to Daniel, the schoolteacher, about how fast everything seems to be changing. A feeling of unease overwhelms them as the workers start installing the antennas on rooftops.
Surprise: The team works quickly, almost too quickly. Startling to see. Announces activation will take effect that evening.
Unease: The antennas clash with the Springbok atmosphere of this gentile town.
Shock: A worker makes a mistake and gets zapped by whatever strange power comes from those antennas. He screams, flies off the roof, and lands dead in the street.
Shock and Fear: The zapped worker's body gets covered with a tarp. But the tarp flattens, indicating that nothing is underneath. When the trucks storm away, that tarp blows away, revealing that the zapped worker's body is gone. Gone for good.
INT. VARIOUS HOUSES – NIGHT
Release: Various individuals and families enjoy a greater variety of entertainment choices on their TV. But even in the houses with families, the people watch individually on their own separate TVs.
EXT. ELDERGROVE – SUNSET
Suspense: Six weeks after becoming beta-testers, less and less people attend the community events, giving the outside a ghost town feel, even before all the “fun” begins.
Surprise: That night the “fun” begins. That same mysterious Myst from the opening scenes visits. Some citizens disappear.
Release: Rationale and denial reign supreme. The others assume they left town for personal reasons.
Suspense: More people disappear in the Myst. – Disappear permanently!
Shock: Sarah runs from the Myst, but gets cornered and can't run anymore.
After Sarah disappears, people begin to consider the real dangers of the Myst and become more aware of the Myst making people disappear.
EXT. ELDERGROVE – NIGHT
Release: George uses an electric leaf-blower to stave off the Myst. A plan that seems to work.
Fear: But then the power goes out; and the Myst engulfs him. Bye-bye George.
Release: David uses a gas-powered leaf-blower. Another plan that seems to work.
Fear: But the leaf-blower bursts into flames. Another MYSTerious death.
Suspense, Anguish: Was that just a coincidence? Or is this Myst more powerful than we first imagined?
INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
Anguish: The others stay locked inside. The Myst defends itself in order to accomplish its goal: The annihilation of everyone in town.
EXT. DR HART'S OFFICE – NIGHT
Apprehension: Dr Hart hears the screams of those outside.
Surprise: Sudden pounding at the door.
Release: It's just Marcus visiting Dr Hart because she asked for his help.
Suspense: They venture forth into the level-one Myst together. Pervasive Thin Myst (Base Layer): A thin, almost translucent Myst that covers the entire town of Eldergrove. It serves as a psychological reminder that danger is always present. It creates an eerie atmosphere, muffling sounds and reducing visibility slightly, and serves as a constant source of unease.
Surprise: A car – with a family inside hoping to escape – almost hits Dr Hart, but Marcus pulls her safely out of the way.
Shock: That car tries to leave town and gets thrown back by the level-two Myst surrounding the town, but no one is inside the car anymore. Medium Myst (Perimeter Layer): A swirling, medium-density Myst forms a barrier around the entire village, preventing anyone from leaving. This Myst is dense enough to obscure vision and serves as a physical and psychological prison, making it clear that escape is impossible.
Fear: They see level-three Myst attacking someone else who was stupid enough to be out in the Myst like they are. Thick Roaming Myst (Hunter Layer): A dense, roaming Myst moves unpredictably throughout the town, actively hunting individuals who are emotionally vulnerable. This thick Myst can form shadowy figures and whispers, playing on the fears of its victims and engulfing those who succumb to despair. The presence of these three layers – each with its own function – creates an environment of total isolation, helplessness, and inevitable doom.
Suspense: The level-three Myst Shadow Stalker turns their way, so they flee.
Release: They figure they can reach the village hall in time.
Suspense: Dr Hart has too many keys and is taking too long finding the right one.
Anguish: Marcus hears his wife's voice in the level-three Myst, calls out her name, and willingly walks toward the level-three Myst.
Release: Dr Hart grabs Marcus and pulls him back, causing both of them to fall inside the village hall where she quickly gets up to lock the door. They share a Hallmark movie style deep gaze into each other's eyes.
Surprise: Screams from outside kill the Hallmark movie vibe.
Suspense: Dr. Evelyn Hart deduces that a program package that promised to connect everyone with the world really separated everyone from each other, so the Myst feeds on despair and isolation. She calls everyone to join them in the village hall.
Monster Reveal: She figures out that the Myst has something to do with the beta-test program for Hargrove Communications. The individualized programming separated people, making them more vulnerable and more “attractive” to the Myst.
Monster Reveal: The Myst thrives on isolated and lonely people.
Suspense: Anna tries to connect with Daniel, urging him to stay strong to fight the Myst. Daniel, burdened by guilt and despair, begins to break down.
Release: Daniel agrees to help however he can. The group manages to find a glimmer of hope by holding hands and sharing their fears, seemingly weakening the Myst temporarily.
Monster Reveal: Dr. Evelyn Hart pleads for everyone to stay together and to work together to destroy the signal from the red antennas.
Daniel and Frank start knocking down the red antennas.
Release: It's working! The Myst grows weaker with each newly destroyed red antenna.
Shock, Anguish: But before they can destroy the third antenna, the Myst comes at Daniel and Frank full force, Daniel jumps off the roof, but Frank's too afraid to jump and becomes engulfed by the Myst.
Horror Situation: Frank gets taken by the Myst.
Reaction: Dr. Hart, Marcus, Daniel, Anna, her son Caleb, Claire, and Tom clutch each other inside a the town hall.
INT. VILLAGE HALL – NIGHT
Suspense: The survivors sit in a circle inside the village hall, the only light coming from a flickering oil lamp in the center. They gather together, trying to keep their spirits up, hoping that if they stay awake and together, the Myst won’t take them.
Release: Daniel tells a story to lighten the mood.
Surprise: A loud BANG hits one of the boarded windows. Everyone jumps, their eyes wide in fear as they exchange worried glances.
Suspense: They all sit in silence, listening, as the sound of scraping slowly follows the bang. The noise seems to move around the outside of the hall, circling them like a predator stalking its prey.
Release: False hope. Marcus says it’s probably just an animal… or the wind. Daniel nods in agreement, trying to steady his own racing heart. Dr. Hart tells a story.
Surprise, Shock: Claire shrieks and her eyes widen. Sayonara serenity! She sees it – a shadow flickering across one of the windows. It moves slowly, deliberately, pausing just long enough for her to realize it isn’t her imagination.
Suspense: The shadow seems to linger, watching them, before it slinks away, disappearing into the night. Claire looks around, but no one else notices it. Her heart pounds as she tries to convince herself it was nothing. Clearly, she's still stuck in the denial stage with naivety and delusion as her only sources of comfort.
Surprise: A slow, deliberate, almost polite knock echos through the hall. The survivors freeze, their faces drain of color. The knock comes once more, followed by silence that seems to stretch endlessly.
Suspense: Tom, sitting nearest to the door, takes a deep breath. He stands, his face conflicted. He moves toward the door, despite Dr. Hart warning him not to. He ignores her. As he approaches the door, a faint, melodic voice drifts in from the other side pleading please. Tom opens the door.
Release: For a moment, nothing moves.
Shock: A figure emerges from the fog – a Shadow Stalker. Its face twisted into a grotesque, almost pleased smile. Tom’s eyes widen in horror, but before he can react, the creature lunges forward, grabbing him effortlessly. Tom lets out a terrified scream as the Shadow Stalker yanks him into the Myst. The door slams shut behind them. Followed by a heinously whispered thank you.
Fear: The reality settles over them – the Myst isn’t just a force of nature; it's intelligent, malevolent, and it's toying with them, one by one.
Dread: Eerie whispers taunt Claire, revealing her fears and secrets to all. She cries out in protest, but to no avail.
Shock: Claire screams that she can't take it anymore, so she rushes to open the door.
Anguish, Dread: The others watch as Marcus rushes over to save her, only to be taken along with her.
Release: Dr Hart slams the door shut and locks it again. A brief respite of silence.
Dread: A sinister cackle resounds in the eerie, haunting Myst.
INT. CITY HALL – DAY
Fear: Dr. Hart, Anna, her son Caleb, and Daniel clutch each other inside the village hall.
Panic: Eldergrove Population: Four. The Myst seeps full force through cracks and under the doors to envelope them. Dr. Hart tells them to stay strong and keep their eyes closed.
Horror: Anna's son becomes curious and peeks. Whoosh! The Myst takes him away. Afraid Anna will open her eyes, Daniel opens his, so he can see to cover Anna's eyes with his hands, pleading for her to keep them closed. Whoosh! Daniel disappears in the Myst.
Hysteria: Dr. Hart and Anna clutch each other with their eyes clenched closed, tears streaming down their faces. The Myst Shadow Stalker swirls around them in a horrendous fury. The fury grows in intensity. Swirling and twirling. Say horrible things, especially to Anna for losing her son Caleb. Dr Hart and Anna hang onto each other, clutching and weeping.
Release: Whoosh! The Myst recedes, leaving Dr. Hart and Anna all alone. Eldergrove Population: Two.
EXT. CITY HALL – DAY
Release: Finally opening their eyes, they see that the Myst receded, Dr. Hart and Anna run outside, sad everyone else died, but happy that they survived. They smile and hug and jump for joy.
Shock: Kablam! Kablam! Bullets fired from a sniper hit them each in their forehead. Eldergrove Population: Zero.
EXT. BASE CAMP – DAY
Suspense: The sniper is Scientist 1. He and his partner comment on how well the Myst has improved, leaving only two. Scientist 1 calls Hargrove to inform him that the town has been “evacuated”.
EXT. ELDERGROVE – SUNSET
Suspense: The scientists quickly remove and dispose of Dr. Hart and Claire's bodies. A government team arrives to investigate the disappearance of everyone, along with Mr. Hargrove, who quickly buys the village under the guise of helping, hinting at further sinister plans. Hargrove agrees to keep everything quiet, so he won't ruin the governor's chances of re-election. He also agrees to have his top scientists figure what could be causing such a MYSTerious phenomena.
EXT. SEASIDE TOWN – DAY
Suspense: The Myst rolls into a new, isolated town, teeming with new red antennas.
EXT. BASE CAMP – DAY
Suspense: Two scientists oversee the operation from a distance, hinting that Mr. Hargrove has a bigger plan; and the cycle is far from over. So the Myst isn't so MYSTerious after all, for as long as there is greed and despair, the Myst will be there. They say that after this next town, they'll experiment with larger towns and even cities.
Shock: A sudden look to the camera as he says to the viewer: Maybe yours. The Myst's sinister cackle resounds.

• This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean's Horror Outline Version 3
What I learned doing this assignment is to be willing and open to receiving feedback. Thank you Dave & Tim! How to be even more succinct – well, even less un-succinct than before anyway.
MYST
Logline: A MYSTerious MYST invades a small village, preying on its residents, feeding on their loneliness and fear, seeking to destroy them all.
1 EXT. SEASIDE TOWN – SUNRISE
Apprehension, Fear, Dread: Tortured screams abound inside the MYSTerious MYST which moves through a seaside town teeming with new red antennas all around.
2 EXT. CITY HALL – DAY
Apprehension: The aftermath of a horrific event. The Myst is gone. Five women lie dead, each with a bullet in her forehead. No one else can be found in this once thriving town.
3 INT. GOVERNOR'S OFFICE – DAY
Apprehension, Suspense: When informed, the Governor orders that that tragedy be kept out of the news. Wealthy elite Mr. Hargrove agrees to keep everything quiet.
4 EXT. PARK / TOWN SQUARE – DAY
Release: Villagers enjoy a casual community picnic.
Surprise, Apprehension, Anxiety, Suspense: VROOM! The thunder of engines breaks the calm serenity as a convoy of Hargrove Communications trucks pull into the square. The workers unload bright red antennas.
Apprehension/Anxiety: Dr. Evelyn Hart inquires, but the foreman just gives her a vague smile and says they’re bringing better entertainment for everyone.
Apprehension, Unease: A feeling of unease overwhelms the older villagers as the workers install the red antennas on rooftops.
Surprise: The team finishes fast and announces activation will take effect that evening.
Shock: A worker makes a mistake and gets zapped by whatever strange power comes from those antennas. He screams, flies off the roof, and lands dead in the street.
Shock and Fear: The zapped worker's body gets covered with a tarp. When the trucks storm away, that tarp blows away, revealing that the zapped worker's body disappeared.
5 INT. VARIOUS HOUSES – NIGHT
Release: Various individuals and families enjoy a greater variety of entertainment choices on their TV. But even in the houses with families, the people watch individually on their own separate TVs.
6 EXT. ELDERGROVE – SUNSET
Suspense: Six weeks after becoming beta-testers, less and less people attend the community events, giving Eldergrove a ghost town feel, even before all the “fun” begins.
Surprise: That night the “fun” begins. That same mysterious Myst from the opening scenes visits. Some citizens disappear.
Release: The others assume they left town for personal reasons.
Suspense: More people disappear in the Myst.
Shock: Sarah runs from the Myst, but gets cornered and can't run anymore.
After Sarah disappears, people become more aware of the Myst making people disappear.
7 EXT. ELDERGROVE – NIGHT
Release: George uses an electric leaf-blower to stave off the Myst. His plan works!
Fear: But then the power goes out; and the Myst engulfs him. His plan doesn't work. Bye-bye George.
Release: David uses a gas-powered leaf-blower. His plan works!
Fear: But the leaf-blower bursts into flames. His plan doesn't work. Another MYSTerious death.
Suspense, Anguish: Was that just a coincidence? Or is this Myst more powerful than they first imagined?
8 INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
Anguish: The others stay locked inside hearing the horrors resounding outside.
9 EXT. DR HART'S OFFICE – NIGHT
Apprehension: Dr Hart hears the screams of those outside.
Surprise: Sudden pounding at the door.
Release: It's just Marcus visiting Dr Hart because she asked for his help.
Suspense: They venture forth into the level-one Myst together. A thin, almost translucent Myst that covers the entire town of Eldergrove.
Surprise: A car – with a family inside hoping to escape – almost hits Dr Hart, but Marcus pulls her safely out of the way.
Shock: That car tries to leave town and gets thrown back by the level-two Myst surrounding the town, but no one is inside the car anymore. Making it clear that escape is impossible.
Fear, Monster Reveal: Marcus and Dr Hart watch level-three Myst (Shadow Stalker Layer) attack someone who ventured outside.
Suspense: The level-three Myst Shadow Stalker turns their way, so they flee.
Release: They figure they can reach the village hall in time.
Suspense: Dr Hart has too many keys and takes far too long to find the right one.
Anguish: Marcus hears his wife's voice in the level-three Myst, calls out her name, and willingly walks toward the level-three Myst.
Release: Dr Hart grabs Marcus and pulls him back, causing both of them to fall inside the village hall where she quickly gets up to lock the door. They share a Hallmark movie style deep gaze into each other's eyes.
Surprise: Screams from outside kill the Hallmark movie vibe.
Suspense, Monster Reveal: Dr. Hart figures out that the Myst has something to do with Hargrove Communications. The individualized programming separated people, making them more vulnerable and more “attractive” to the Myst. She calls everyone to join them in the village hall.
Suspense: Anna tries to connect with Daniel, urging him to stay strong to fight the Myst. Daniel, burdened by guilt and despair, begins to break down.
Release: Daniel agrees to help however he can. The group manages to find a glimmer of hope by holding hands and sharing their fears, seemingly weakening the Myst temporarily.
Suspense: Dr. Hart pleads for everyone to stay together and work to destroy the signal from the red antennas. Daniel and Frank start knocking down the red antennas.
Release: It's working! The Myst grows weaker with each newly destroyed red antenna.
Shock, Anguish: Before they can destroy a third antenna, the Shadow Stalker Myst comes at Daniel and Frank full force, Daniel jumps off the roof, but Frank's too afraid to jump and becomes engulfed by the Myst. Farewell Frank.
Reaction: Dr. Hart, Marcus, Daniel, Anna, her son Caleb, Claire, and Tom clutch each other inside the village hall.
10 INT. VILLAGE HALL – NIGHT
Suspense: The survivors gather together, trying to keep their spirits up, hoping that if they stay awake and together, the Myst won’t take them.
Release: Daniel tells a story to lighten the mood.
Surprise: A loud BANG hits one of the boarded windows. Everyone jumps, their eyes wide in fear as they exchange worried glances.
Suspense: They all sit in silence, listening, as the sound of scraping slowly follows the bang. The noise seems to move around the outside of the hall, circling them like a predator stalking its prey.
Release: False hope. Marcus says it’s probably just an animal… or the wind. Daniel nods in agreement, trying to steady his own racing heart. Dr. Hart tells a story.
Surprise, Shock: Claire shrieks and her eyes widen. Sayonara serenity! She sees it – a shadow moves slowly, deliberately, pausing just long enough for her to realize it isn’t her imagination.
Suspense: The shadow lingers, watching them, before it slinks away, disappearing into the night. Claire looks around, but no one else noticed it. She tries to convince herself it was nothing.
Surprise: A slow, deliberate, almost polite knock echos through the hall.
Suspense: Tom, sitting closest to the door, takes a deep breath. He stands, his face conflicted. Ignoring Dr. Hart's warning him not to, and hearing the word please, Tom opens the door.
Release: No one's there.
Shock: A Shadow Stalker emerges from the Myst, yanks away Tom, and says thank you.
Monster Reveal, Fear: They realize the Myst isn’t just a force of nature; it's intelligent, malevolent, and it's toying with each of them. Dr Hart realizes the TV package eavesdropped to learn everyone's secrets.
Dread: Eerie whispers taunt Claire, revealing her fears and secrets to all.
Shock: Claire screams that she can't take it anymore, so she rushes to open the door.
Anguish, Dread: The others watch as Marcus rushes over to save her, only to be taken along with her.
Release: Dr Hart slams the door shut and locks it again. A brief respite of silence.
Dread: A sinister cackle resounds in the eerie, haunting Myst. This is one mean Myst!
11 INT. CITY HALL – DAY
Fear: Dr. Hart, Anna, her son Caleb, and Daniel clutch each other inside the village hall.
Panic: Eldergrove Population: Four. The Myst seeps full force through cracks and under the doors to envelope them. Dr. Hart tells them to stay strong and keep their eyes closed.
Horror: Anna's son becomes curious and peeks. Whoosh! The Myst takes him away. Afraid Anna will open her eyes, Daniel opens his, so he can see to cover Anna's eyes with his hands, pleading for her to keep them closed. Whoosh! Daniel disappears in the Myst.
Hysteria: Dr. Hart and Anna clutch each other with their eyes clenched closed, tears streaming down their faces. The Myst Shadow Stalker swirls around them in an increasingly intense and horrendous fury. Says horrible things, especially to Anna for losing her son Caleb. Dr Hart and Anna hang onto each other.
Release: Whoosh! The Myst recedes, leaving Dr. Hart and Anna all alone. Eldergrove Population: Two.
12 EXT. CITY HALL – DAY
Release: Dr. Hart and Anna run outside, sad everyone else died, but happy that they survived. They smile and hug and jump for joy.
Shock: Kablam! A bullet fired from a sniper hits Anna in her forehead. Kablam! Dr Hart ducks down, but it's unclear if she ducked in time. Eldergrove Population: One?
13 EXT. BASE CAMP – DAY
Suspense: The sniper is Scientist 1, who looks back and forth through his sights, but can't see Dr Hart anywhere. He and his partner comment on how well the Myst has improved, leaving only two this time. Scientist 2 says he'll call Hargrove to inform him that the town has been “evacuated”. Scientist 1 tells him to wait, because they might have a hanger-on.
14 EXT. ELDERGROVE – SUNSET
Suspense: The aftermath. The scientists quickly remove and dispose of Anna’s body.
Shock, Hysteria: Armed Scientists kill hiding and hysterical Dr. Hart.
Suspense: A government team arrives to investigate the disappearance of everyone, along with Mr. Hargrove, who quickly buys the village under the guise of helping. He agrees to keep everything quiet and to have his top scientists figure out what's causing such a MYSTerious phenomena.
15 EXT. SEASIDE TOWN – DAY
Suspense: New town. Same MYST. Will it be the same outcome?
16 EXT. BASE CAMP – DAY
Two scientists oversee the operation from a distance, talking about larger towns and cities even.
Suspense: hinting that Mr. Hargrove has a bigger plan; and the cycle is far from over.
Shock: A sudden look to the camera as he says to the viewer: Maybe yours.

• This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

LESSON 15 HOMEWORK:
Dean’s Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned doing this assignment is how to organize the scares for maximum impact.
MYST
EXT. SEASIDE TOWN – SUNRISE
Apprehension, Fear, Dread: A MYSTerious MYST moves through a seaside town teeming with new red antennas all around. Tortured screams abound. MYSTerious screams in the MYSTerious MYST.
EXT. CITY HALL – DAY
Apprehension: The aftermath of a horrific event. The Myst leaves silently. Five women lie dead, each with a bullet in her forehead. No one else can be found in this once thriving town.
INT. GOVERNOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Apprehension, Suspense: When informed, the Governor orders that that tragedy be kept out of the news. Wealthy elite Mr. Hargrove agrees to keep everything quiet. A.k.a. The real horror: Government Coverup & Greed: A Lethal Combination.
EXT. PARK / TOWN SQUARE – DAY
Release: Villagers enjoy a casual community picnic. Smoke rises from grills. People stand in line to be served. Children run around playing tag, laughter fills the air.
Surprise, Apprehension, Anxiety, Suspense: VROOM! The thunder of engines breaks the calm serenity as a convoy of Hargrove Communications trucks pull into the square. The workers jump out of those trucks and begin unloading bright red antennas, catching the attention of some villagers.
Apprehension/Anxiety: The villagers exchange glances, murmuring questions about what’s going on. Dr. Evelyn Hart notices the anxious looks among the townspeople. She walks over to speak to one of the workers, but he just gives her a vague smile and says they’re bringing better entertainment for everyone.
Apprehension, Unease: Some of the older villagers, including Marcus, look uneasy. They voice their concerns to Daniel, the schoolteacher, about how fast everything seems to be changing. A feeling of unease overwhelms them as the workers start installing the antennas on rooftops.
Surprise: The team works quickly, almost too quickly. Startling to see. Announces activation will take effect that evening.
Unease: The antennas clash with the Springbok atmosphere of this gentile town.
Shock: A worker makes a mistake and gets zapped by whatever strange power comes from those antennas. He screams, flies off the roof, and lands dead in the street.
Shock and Fear: The zapped worker’s body gets covered with a tarp. But the tarp flattens, indicating that nothing is underneath. When the trucks storm away, that tarp blows away, revealing that the zapped worker’s body is gone. Gone for good.
INT. VARIOUS HOUSES – NIGHT
Release: Various individuals and families enjoy a greater variety of entertainment choices on their TV. But even in the houses with families, the people watch individually on their own separate TVs.
EXT. ELDERGROVE – SUNSET
Suspense: Six weeks after becoming beta-testers, less and less people attend the community events, giving the outside a ghost town feel, even before all the “fun” begins.
Surprise: That night the “fun” begins. That same mysterious Myst from the opening scenes visits. Some citizens disappear.
Release: Rationale and denial reign supreme. The others assume they left town for personal reasons.
Suspense: More people disappear in the Myst. – Disappear permanently!
Shock: Sarah runs from the Myst, but gets cornered and can’t run anymore.
After Sarah disappears, people begin to consider the real dangers of the Myst and become more aware of the Myst making people disappear.
EXT. ELDERGROVE – NIGHT
Release: George uses an electric leaf-blower to stave off the Myst. A plan that seems to work.
Fear: But then the power goes out; and the Myst engulfs him. Bye-bye George.
Release: David uses a gas-powered leaf-blower. Another plan that seems to work.
Fear: But the leaf-blower bursts into flames. Another MYSTerious death.
Suspense, Anguish: Was that just a coincidence? Or is this Myst more powerful than we first imagined?
INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
Anguish: The others stay locked inside. The Myst defends itself in order to accomplish its goal: The annihilation of everyone in town.
EXT. DR HART’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Apprehension: Dr Hart hears the screams of those outside.
Surprise: Sudden pounding at the door.
Release: It’s just Marcus visiting Dr Hart because she asked for his help.
Suspense: They venture forth into the level-one Myst together. Pervasive Thin Myst (Base Layer): A thin, almost translucent Myst that covers the entire town of Eldergrove. It serves as a psychological reminder that danger is always present. It creates an eerie atmosphere, muffling sounds and reducing visibility slightly, and serves as a constant source of unease.
Surprise: A car – with a family inside hoping to escape – almost hits Dr Hart, but Marcus pulls her safely out of the way.
Shock: That car tries to leave town and gets thrown back by the level-two Myst surrounding the town, but no one is inside the car anymore. Medium Myst (Perimeter Layer): A swirling, medium-density Myst forms a barrier around the entire village, preventing anyone from leaving. This Myst is dense enough to obscure vision and serves as a physical and psychological prison, making it clear that escape is impossible.
Fear: They see level-three Myst attacking someone else who was stupid enough to be out in the Myst like they are. Thick Roaming Myst (Hunter Layer): A dense, roaming Myst moves unpredictably throughout the town, actively hunting individuals who are emotionally vulnerable. This thick Myst can form shadowy figures and whispers, playing on the fears of its victims and engulfing those who succumb to despair. The presence of these three layers – each with its own function – creates an environment of total isolation, helplessness, and inevitable doom.
Suspense: The level-three Myst Shadow Stalker turns their way, so they flee.
Release: They figure they can reach the village hall in time.
Suspense: Dr Hart has too many keys and is taking too long finding the right one.
Anguish: Marcus hears his wife’s voice in the level-three Myst, calls out her name, and willingly walks toward the level-three Myst.
Release: Dr Hart grabs Marcus and pulls him back, causing both of them to fall inside the village hall where she quickly gets up to lock the door. They share a Hallmark movie style deep gaze into each other’s eyes.
Surprise: Screams from outside kill the Hallmark movie vibe.
Suspense: Dr. Evelyn Hart deduces that a program package that promised to connect everyone with the world really separated everyone from each other, so the Myst feeds on despair and isolation. She calls everyone to join them in the village hall.
Monster Reveal: She figures out that the Myst has something to do with the beta-test program for Hargrove Communications. The individualized programming separated people, making them more vulnerable and more “attractive” to the Myst.
Monster Reveal: The Myst thrives on isolated and lonely people.
Suspense: Anna tries to connect with Daniel, urging him to stay strong to fight the Myst. Daniel, burdened by guilt and despair, begins to break down.
Release: Daniel agrees to help however he can. The group manages to find a glimmer of hope by holding hands and sharing their fears, seemingly weakening the Myst temporarily.
Monster Reveal: Dr. Evelyn Hart pleads for everyone to stay together and to work together to destroy the signal from the red antennas.
Daniel and Frank start knocking down the red antennas.
Release: It’s working! The Myst grows weaker with each newly destroyed red antenna.
Shock, Anguish: But before they can destroy the third antenna, the Myst comes at Daniel and Frank full force, Daniel jumps off the roof, but Frank’s too afraid to jump and becomes engulfed by the Myst.
Horror Situation: Frank gets taken by the Myst.
Reaction: Dr. Hart, Marcus, Daniel, Anna, her son Caleb, Claire, and Tom clutch each other inside a the town hall.
INT. VILLAGE HALL – NIGHT
Suspense: The survivors sit in a circle inside the village hall, the only light coming from a flickering oil lamp in the center. They gather together, trying to keep their spirits up, hoping that if they stay awake and together, the Myst won’t take them.
Release: Daniel tells a story to lighten the mood.
Surprise: A loud BANG hits one of the boarded windows. Everyone jumps, their eyes wide in fear as they exchange worried glances.
Suspense: They all sit in silence, listening, as the sound of scraping slowly follows the bang. The noise seems to move around the outside of the hall, circling them like a predator stalking its prey.
Release: False hope. Marcus says it’s probably just an animal… or the wind. Daniel nods in agreement, trying to steady his own racing heart. Dr. Hart tells a story.
Surprise, Shock: Claire shrieks and her eyes widen. Sayonara serenity! She sees it – a shadow flickering across one of the windows. It moves slowly, deliberately, pausing just long enough for her to realize it isn’t her imagination.
Suspense: The shadow seems to linger, watching them, before it slinks away, disappearing into the night. Claire looks around, but no one else notices it. Her heart pounds as she tries to convince herself it was nothing. Clearly, she’s still stuck in the denial stage with naivety and delusion as her only sources of comfort.
Surprise: A slow, deliberate, almost polite knock echos through the hall. The survivors freeze, their faces drain of color. The knock comes once more, followed by silence that seems to stretch endlessly.
Suspense: Tom, sitting nearest to the door, takes a deep breath. He stands, his face conflicted. He moves toward the door, despite Dr. Hart warning him not to. He ignores her. As he approaches the door, a faint, melodic voice drifts in from the other side pleading please. Tom opens the door.
Release: For a moment, nothing moves.
Shock: A figure emerges from the fog – a Shadow Stalker. Its face twisted into a grotesque, almost pleased smile. Tom’s eyes widen in horror, but before he can react, the creature lunges forward, grabbing him effortlessly. Tom lets out a terrified scream as the Shadow Stalker yanks him into the Myst. The door slams shut behind them. Followed by a heinously whispered thank you.
Fear: The reality settles over them – the Myst isn’t just a force of nature; it’s intelligent, malevolent, and it’s toying with them, one by one.
Dread: Eerie whispers taunt Claire, revealing her fears and secrets to all. She cries out in protest, but to no avail.
Shock: Claire screams that she can’t take it anymore, so she rushes to open the door.
Anguish, Dread: The others watch as Marcus rushes over to save her, only to be taken along with her.
Release: Dr Hart slams the door shut and locks it again. A brief respite of silence.
Dread: A sinister cackle resounds in the eerie, haunting Myst.
INT. CITY HALL – DAY
Fear: Dr. Hart, Anna, her son Caleb, and Daniel clutch each other inside the village hall.
Panic: Eldergrove Population: Four. The Myst seeps full force through cracks and under the doors to envelope them. Dr. Hart tells them to stay strong and keep their eyes closed.
Horror: Anna’s son becomes curious and peeks. Whoosh! The Myst takes him away. Afraid Anna will open her eyes, Daniel opens his, so he can see to cover Anna’s eyes with his hands, pleading for her to keep them closed. Whoosh! Daniel disappears in the Myst.
Hysteria: Dr. Hart and Anna clutch each other with their eyes clenched closed, tears streaming down their faces. The Myst Shadow Stalker swirls around them in a horrendous fury. The fury grows in intensity. Swirling and twirling. Say horrible things, especially to Anna for losing her son Caleb. Dr Hart and Anna hang onto each other, clutching and weeping.
Release: Whoosh! The Myst recedes, leaving Dr. Hart and Anna all alone. Eldergrove Population: Two.
EXT. CITY HALL – DAY
Release: Finally opening their eyes, they see that the Myst receded, Dr. Hart and Anna run outside, sad everyone else died, but happy that they survived. They smile and hug and jump for joy.
Shock: Kablam! Kablam! Bullets fired from a sniper hit them each in their forehead. Eldergrove Population: Zero.
EXT. BASE CAMP – DAY
Suspense: The sniper is Scientist 1. He and his partner comment on how well the Myst has improved, leaving only two. Scientist 1 calls Hargrove to inform him that the town has been “evacuated”.
EXT. ELDERGROVE – SUNSET
Suspense: The scientists quickly remove and dispose of Dr. Hart and Claire’s bodies. A government team arrives to investigate the disappearance of everyone, along with Mr. Hargrove, who quickly buys the village under the guise of helping, hinting at further sinister plans. Hargrove agrees to keep everything quiet, so he won’t ruin the governor’s chances of re-election. He also agrees to have his top scientists figure what could be causing such a MYSTerious phenomena.
EXT. SEASIDE TOWN – DAY
Suspense: The Myst rolls into a new, isolated town, teeming with new red antennas.
EXT. BASE CAMP – DAY
Suspense: Two scientists oversee the operation from a distance, hinting that Mr. Hargrove has a bigger plan; and the cycle is far from over. So the Myst isn’t so MYSTerious after all, for as long as there is greed and despair, the Myst will be there. They say that after this next town, they’ll experiment with larger towns and even cities.
Shock: A sudden look to the camera as he says to the viewer: Maybe yours. The Myst’s sinister cackle resounds.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean’s Scary-As-Not-Heaven Scene! ;oP
What I learned doing this assignment is if a monster is in your trunk trying to eat through the back seat, then the car is most likely a rental. “Hey Avis! If you really wanna try harder, use an exorcist! Or any of a number of monster-extraction teams! Ghost-Busters. Men In Black. The Paranormal Investigator from my first novel Monster Laughs.” ;oP
And I learned how to write Scary-As-Not-Heaven scenes by beginning with the emotions, which is mind-boggling, but makes perfect sense, because we’re writing screenplays with the hope of them getting made into emotion pictures!
Horror Situation: Face-to-face with the monster.
Emotional Range: Apprehension → Anguish
Apprehension
Surprise
Suspense
Shock
Fear
Suspense
Anguish
Apprehension: Hearing the screams of those outside.
Surprise: Sudden pounding at the door.
Release: It’s just Marcus visiting Dr Hart because she asked for his help.
Suspense: They step out in the level-one Myst together.
Shock: The car gets thrown back by the level-two Myst surrounding the town.
Fear: They see level-three Myst attacking someone else who was stupid enough to be out in the Myst like they are.
Suspense: The level-three Myst turns their way, so they flee.
Release: They figure they can reach the village hall in time.
Suspense: Dr Hart has too many keys and is taking too long finding the right one.
Anguish: Marcus hears his wife’s voice in the level-three Myst, calls out her name, and willingly walks into the level-three Myst, where he screams and then disappears forever.
Release: Dr Hart falls inside the village hall and quickly gets up to lock the door.
The Scene Where Dr Hart Discovers the Three Levels of the Monster
INT. DR HART’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Dr Hart shivers and shakes while hearing the screams of those outside. She drinks tea to calm herself.
A loud pounding at the door sends her tea cup flying.
The tea cup shatters on the wooden floor.
MARCUS (OC)
It’s me. Marcus. You asked me to stop by.
Dr Hart sighs and opens the door.
DR HART
Oh yes, yes, yes, Come in, Marcus. Come in.
Marcus enters, notices the shattered tea cup.
MARCUS
That must be some special tea.
DR HART
You startled me.
MARCUS
Your buzzer didn’t work. And I had to knock loud, so you’d hear me over the…
DR HART
Screams. Yes. I’ve just been so on edge since the Myst arrived.
MARCUS
We all have. You still wanna go out there?
DR HART
No, I don’t want to. But we will.
Marcus opens the door.
EXT. VILLAGE – NIGHT
The Myst envelopes the entire town. Screams resound in the distance. Clearly, this is no ordinary Myst. And clearly something sinister is happening.
MARCUS
Ladies first.
DR HART
Suddenly, every man in town is a perfect gentleman.
She steps outside. He sighs deeply and then follows.
Dr Hart locks her door.
MARCUS
What about the?
DR HART
I’ll clean it later.
A car honks its horn.
Marcus pulls Dr Hart out of the way. Even though the car isn’t going very fast due to limited visibility. A family fills the car, all looking horrified.
MARCUS
What are we looking for exactly?
DR HART
Answers. Let’s follow that car.
Dr Hart clutches Marcus’s left arm.
MARCUS
I. I, um. I haven’t dated since my wife passed.
Dr Hart gazes into his eyes.
DR HART
Oh my dear, sweet man. You still haven’t.
MARCUS
Oh.
He sighs deeply. A little too deeply for Dr Hart’s taste. She glares at him. They walk on in silence.
EXT. EDGE OF TOWN – NIGHT
Marcus and Dr Hart stop to watch as the family car approaches a thicker portion of Myst that spins around the perimeter of the town.
DR HART
Look at this. The Myst surrounding the town is thicker.
The car drives closer.
MARCUS
It’s spinning like a barrier of some sort. That’s a whole new level of Myst for sure. And I didn’t mean to insult you. I’m just not ready yet.
DR HART
I don’t wanna insult you either. So I won’t say another word about –
– The family car revs its engine and drives into the Myst hoping to go through it. Instead the Myst knocks the car back. The family screams. The car heads for Dr Hart who stands frozen in fear.
Marcus pulls Dr Hart out of the way again. But this time, they fall and lie down, facing each other with him on top. They gaze into each other’s eyes a moment.
MARCUS
Maybe I am ready.
DR HART
Maybe I’m not.
She pushes him to the side and clambers to her feet.
Marcus sighs and stands up as well.
Dr Hart rushes to the car to help the passengers get out safely.
DR HART
Are you okay? Are you?
No one is inside the car.
DR HART
Okay.
MARCUS
Well, that’s weird.
DR HART
You think?
Marcus grimaces.
DR HART
Marcus, thank you for saving me from that car. Twice.
MARCUS
You’re welcome. Twice.
They share a heart-warming, eye-gazing glance.
They step closer to each other, still gazing into each other’s eyes.
DR HART
Maybe I am ready too.
Marcus grabs Dr Hart’s face and pulls her close. But then –
A blood-curdling scream resounds from down the street.
Marcus and Dr Hart clutch each other, but don’t get to kiss after all.
Level-three Myst – a much thicker Myst which takes on a somewhat monstrous albeit larger-than-life humanoid form – attacks someone else who was stupid enough to be out in the Myst like they are.
MARCUS
It’s been fun, Doctor Hart. But I’ve got a big day tomorrow.
DR HART
Level-three. Thicker. More malleable. More malevolent.
MARCUS
More MYST-ifying.
The mood lightens for three seconds. Three, two, one. And then they gasp when the Myst-ical creature looks their way.
Dr Hart freezes in fear again. But Marcus drags her along.
MARCUS
Wouldn’t be a proper date if I didn’t get you home safely.
Whoosh! Level-three Myst moves faster than they expected.
Marcus and Dr Hart gasp more deeply than before.
MARCUS
Might not be a proper date after all.
DR HART
The Village Hall. Let’s go there! It’s just half a block away.
MARCUS
Okay, but my parents will ground me if you keep me out all night.
Dr Hart shakes her head at him. He grabs her and drags her along.
MARCUS
Run!
They flee as fast as they can. Curiously, the level-three Myst gets slowed by a breeze passing through town. But it’s still in hot pursuit.
MARCUS
I use humor as a coping mechanism.
DR HART
I can tell. Just run!
EXT. VILLAGE HALL – NIGHT
Marcus fidgets like crazy while Dr Hart tries key after key.
The level-three Myst comes closer.
MARCUS
Hurry!
DR HART
I’m trying. I just can’t seem to concentrate.
The voice of Marcus’s wife calls out from inside the level-three Myst creature.
MARCUS’S WIFE (VO)
Moving on already Marcus. Does our love mean nothing to you?
MARCUS
Come on now, Karen. It’s been over seven years.
DR HART
Got it!
She steps inside and looks back to see Marcus walking toward the level-three Myst monster.
DR HART
Marcus! Hurry! I opened the door!
MARCUS’S WIFE (VO)
Choose Marcus. Your wife whom you pledged your eternal love. Or some fancy tramp with a degree.
DR HART
I’m not a –
MARCUS
– I love you, honey. I’ve always loved you.
The level-three Myst moves forward to snatch away Marcus.
MARCUS’S WIFE (VO)
Come away with me, my love. And together we’ll –
– Dr Hart lunges forward, grabs Marcus, and yanks him into the Village Hall.
INT. VILLAGE HALL – NIGHT
Marcus falls on the welcome rug, while Dr Hart slams and locks the door.
MARCUS’S WIFE (VO)
Brazen hussy.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean's Scares, Releases, and Creepy moments!
What I learned doing this assignment is why they put all those ick-factor scenes in horror movies. Ugh! But at least now I know why. ;oP

Scene Outline: The Night's Game
Setting:
The survivors are in the village hall, sitting in a circle, trying to keep their spirits up. It’s late at night, and they’re taking turns telling stories to stay awake and feel connected. The dim light flickers, casting shadows across the walls.
Scares:
Sudden Bang:
Just as Daniel finishes telling a light-hearted story, a sudden loud bang hits one of the boarded windows, making everyone jump. The survivors exchange worried looks, their faces pale. Anna whispers, “What was that?” as everyone sits in silence, their eyes glued to the source of the noise. The sound of scraping slowly follows, causing chills to run down their spines.
Whispering:
The whispers start again, softly at first, but gradually getting louder. The whispers seem to come from every direction, saying their names in eerie, elongated tones. Claire hears her name being called repeatedly and covers her ears, shaking her head, trying to block out the chilling voices.
Releases:
False Alarm:
The tension is high until Marcus finally speaks up, trying to rationalize. “It’s probably just an animal… or the wind.” Daniel nods, forcing a smile. “Yeah, it must be.” The survivors take a collective breath, the tension slightly dissipating. The group shares a nervous laugh, their fear momentarily diffused by Marcus’s attempt at reason.
Comforting Story:
To distract them, Dr. Hart starts telling a comforting story from her childhood—a time she was scared but found comfort in her mother’s embrace. The others listen, some of them visibly relaxing. Anna reaches for her son, holding him close, and for a moment, the warmth of the story provides a sense of temporary safety.
Creepy Moments:
Shadowy Figures:
As Dr. Hart finishes her story, a shadow flickers across one of the windows, but no one else seems to notice it. Claire’s eyes widen as she catches sight of the silhouette moving outside. She stares, trying to figure out if her eyes are playing tricks on her. The figure seems to pause, then slowly slinks away, disappearing into the night. Claire looks around, but everyone else is caught in the moment of calm.
The Knock:
The peaceful moment is shattered when a knock echoes at the door—slow, deliberate, and oddly polite. The survivors freeze, fear returning in full force. Marcus looks towards the door, his voice trembling, “It can’t be… not again.” The survivors are paralyzed by the unexpected sound, the polite nature of the knock sending a chill down their spines, as if whatever is outside is mocking them.

Scene: The Night's Game
INT. VILLAGE HALL – NIGHT
The survivors sit in a circle inside the village hall, the only light coming from a flickering oil lamp. They gather together, trying to keep their spirits up, hoping that if they stayed awake and together, the Myst wouldn’t take them. Daniel tells a story to lighten the mood.
DANIEL
…and so, there I was, standing in the middle of the field with nothing but a frying pan to defend myself. The rooster was charging at me, feathers fluffed up like it was some sort of farm warrior. I thought, ‘This is it, Daniel. You’re going to lose to a rooster.’ But then.
He pauses to gaze at each person's eyes.
DANIEL
Just as it was about to leap, my neighbor's little poodle, Fluffy, decided it was time to play the hero. Fluffy leapt in front of me, barked like it was facing down a dragon, and the rooster—get this—it turned tail and ran!
He sighs, remembering how relieved he felt.
DANIEL
Fluffy chased it all the way back to the coop, and there I was, standing there, still holding that frying pan, feeling like the biggest fool in the world. All I could think was, 'I owe my life to a ten-pound dog named Fluffy.' And she wasn't even my poodle.”
Daniel smiles, glancing around the circle.
DANIEL
So never underestimate the bravery of a poodle—or overestimate the fierceness of a rooster. And don't walk by a chicken coop carrying a frying pan. Because that automatically—
A loud BANG hits one of the boarded windows. Everyone jumps, their eyes wide in fear as they exchange worried glances.
ANNA
What was that?
They all sit in silence, listening, as the sound of scraping slowly followed the bang. The noise seems to move around the outside of the hall, circling them like a predator stalking its prey.
Soft whispers filter in, at first faint, then growing louder, more distinct. The whispers seem to call their names, eerie and elongated, as if the Myst knows each of them intimately. Claire hears her name over and over, the voice almost pleading. She covers her ears, shaking her head, trying to block out the chilling sound.
Marcus, seeing the growing fear in everyone's eyes, speaks up. His voice trembled slightly, but he forced a smile.
MARCUS
It’s probably just an animal… or the wind.
Daniel nods in agreement, trying to steady his own racing heart.
DANIEL
Yeah, it must be.
The tension in the room eases slightly, and a few nervous laughs escape as they take a collective breath. The fear ebbs, if only for a moment.
Dr. Hart takes advantage of the fleeting calm, beginning to tell a comforting story from her childhood—about a time she was scared but found comfort in her mother’s embrace.
DR HART
When I was eight, I was terrified of thunderstorms. One night, there was a particularly bad one—lightning flashing, thunder roaring.
Anna reaches for her son Caleb, pulling him close, and for a brief moment, the atmosphere feels almost normal.
DR HART
I remember hiding under my blanket, convinced that the storm was going to break through my window and get me.
She pauses, a small smile touching her lips, as she sees Caleb's captivated attention.
DR HART
My mother came into the room, and without a word, she sat on my bed and wrapped me in her arms. She didn’t tell me not to be scared, or that everything was fine.
The others listen, the warmth of the memory providing a sense of temporary safety.
DR HART
She just held me, rocking me gently, and somehow… somehow that made all the difference. The storm was still raging, but it felt like it couldn’t touch me anymore. Like I was safe and—
——Claire shrieks and her eyes widen. Sayonara serenity! She sees it—a shadow flickering across one of the windows. It moves slowly, deliberately, pausing just long enough for her to realize it isn’t her imagination.
The shadow seems to linger, watching them, before it slinks away, disappearing into the night. Claire looks around, but no one else notices it. Her heart pound as she tries to convince herself it was nothing.
Then comes the knock—a slow, deliberate, almost polite knock that echos through the hall. The survivors froze, their faces drain of color. Marcus turns towards the door, his voice barely a whisper:
MARCUS
It can’t be… not again.
The knock comes once more, followed by silence that seems to stretch endlessly.
Tom, sitting nearest to the door, took a deep breath. He stands, his face conflicted.
TOM
We can’t just leave them out there.
He moves towards the door, despite Dr. Hart shaking her head and whispering,
DR HART
Tom, don’t…
He ignores her, determination mixed with fear in his eyes.
As he approaches the door, a faint, melodic voice drifts in from the other side.
MYST VOICE
Please…
The word hangs in the air, chilling everyone to the bone. Tom hesitates for a moment, his hand resting on the door handle. He takes another breath, then slowly opens the door just a crack, peering out into the mist.
For a moment, nothing moves. Then, a figure emerges from the fog—a Night Stalker. Its face twisted into a grotesque, almost pleased smile. Tom’s eyes widen in horror, but before he can react, the creature lunges forward, grabbing him effortlessly. Tom lets out a terrified scream as the Night Stalker yanks him into the mist.
MYST VOICE
…Thank you.
The door slams shut behind them.
The room falls into a stunned silence, the air heavy with an oppressive weight.
Anna clutches her son Caleb tightly, her eyes wide with fear.
Marcus sinks to the floor, burying his face in his hands.
Dr. Hart stands frozen, her heart pounding in her chest.
The reality settles over them—the Myst isn’t just a force of nature; it's intelligent, malevolent, and it's toying with them, one by one.

• This reply was modified 8 months ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

LESSON 12 HOMEWORK:
Dean's Level 3 Horror Emotion Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is how to help counselors and therapists get more customers. ;oP
Scene: The Breaking Point
INT. VILLAGE HALL – NIGHT
The village hall would be in total darkness, save for the dim, flickering glow of an oil lamp. The few remaining survivors huddle together—Anna, Daniel, Marcus, Claire, Dr. Evelyn Hart, Sarah, and Caleb. The thick roaming Myst presses against the outer walls of the hall, its whispers growing louder.
Anguish:
Dr. Hart sits with her head in her hands, tears streaming down her face. They lost so many—George, taken by the Myst, and others who had simply vanished into the fog. Anna wallows beside her, her eyes filled with despair, her young son Caleb asleep next to her. The weight of their losses fills the room with an overwhelming sense of anguish. Marcus, sits on the floor, looks down at his hands, barely able to speak.
MARCUS
We should have done something sooner… we should have listened…
Panic:
Suddenly, a scraping noise echos from outside, louder than before. The survivors freeze, their eyes darting toward the door. Anna gasps, her breath coming in short, panicked bursts.
ANNA
It’s coming… it’s coming back.
The sounds outside grow louder—the scratching, the whispers, growing ever closer.
Horror:
A sudden gust of wind blows through the room. The survivors turn to see that the Myst found a way in—a crack in one of the windows.
The thick Myst begins to seep in, moving with purpose, almost alive. The shape of a face forms in the fog, twisted, smiling, with eyes filled with malice.
Marcus backs away, his eyes wide with horror. He stumbles over a chair, his heart pounding in his chest.
MARCUS
No… stay away!
The Myst moves faster, shadowy appendages reaching out for him. His screams are cut short as he becomes enveloped, disappearing into the Myst before the eyes of his horrified companions.
Hysteria:
Anna falls to her knees, her face contorted in despair.
ANNA
We’re all going to die!” she wailed, her voice rising to a hysterical pitch.
Her cries echo through the hall, filling the space with a palpable sense of doom. Claire, who had remained composed until now, snapped. She lunged at Dr. Hart, shaking her by the shoulders.
CLAIRE
What do we do? What do we do?! You’re supposed to know!
Dr. Hart tries to calm her, but Claire’s hysteria only grows, her voice breaking as she yells at everyone around her.
The Myst continues to seep in, the whispers growing louder, echoing their fears, their failures.
Anna's son Caleb wakes up and starts crying.
Everyone else glares at Claire.
DANIEL
Happy now? Crazy lady.
Anna hugs him and sways, trying to placate him.
ANNA
Shhhh. Shhhhhh. Everything's all right.
The others glare at her.
ANNA
I've got you, Caleb. Mama's got you.
Caleb crying subsides.
The others shrug, happy that worked to quiet him down.
CLAIRE
Lying. The unsung parenting skill. Maybe if our parents had lied to us more, this whole town would still be alive.
The other gasp in horror.
CLAIRE
Oh come on, we're all thinking it.
DANIEL
It's not your words. It's what's behind you.
Anna turns too late to see the thick Myst right as it envelopes her.
Her screams grow silent as quickly as they began.
As the others huddle together with greater intensity, the thick Myst backs away, leaving behind no sign of Anna.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 1 week ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

LESSON 11 HOMEWORK:
Dean’s Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is how to ramp up the rampant horror.
Scene: The Night Stalkers
FADE IN:
EXT. TOWN HALL – NIGHT
Anna, Caleb, Daniel, Marcus, Claire, Dr. Evelyn Hart, and Tom hide together inside the town hall, a makeshift refuge for the survivors.
The survivors work together, securing the doors and windows, hoping it would be enough to keep the Myst at bay.
Marcus’s hammers the last board into place.
Anna watches over her young son Caleb, who sleeps on a blanket in the corner.
Daniel’s hands tremble as he stuffs towels under the door, his eyes constantly flicking toward the windows, as if expecting something to burst through at any moment.
Outside, strange noises resound. Scratching sounds echo against the walls, as if something—or someone—claws to get in. Soft whispers drift in through the cracks, faint at first but slowly growing louder.
Marcus’s face goes pale when he hears one of the whispers. It was a voice he recognized—his deceased wife. “Marcus,” the voice calls, filled with longing. He closes his eyes tightly, trying to shut it out, his fear growing with each passing second.
Daniel, unable to resist, moves to one of the boarded-up windows. He peers through a small gap, his breath hitching as he sees twisted, shadowy figures moving in the mist. He gestures for Dr. Hart to come over, whispering urgently:
TOM
Do you see that?
Dr. Hart joins him, her eyes narrowing as she watches the figures circling the village hall, their shapes distorted, barely visible through the fog.
DR HART
This isn’t normal weather. We can’t believe everything we see.
Suddenly, a loud deliberate, slow, and unnervingly calm knock echos through the hall. Everyone jumps, Marcus lets out a strangled gasp.
The survivors exchange glances, their eyes wide with fear.
From behind the door, a desperate, pleading voice calls out:
MYST VOICE (O.C.)
Help me, please!
DR HART
We can’t believe everything we hear either.
Anna’s face goes pale, her arms tightening protectively around her son Caleb.
Marcus shakes his head, his eyes squeezed shut, as the screaming continues, growing more frantic before abruptly stopping.
An eerie silence.
Tom and the others glare at Dr Hart.
DR HART
This isn’t normal weather.
Feeling the weight of everyone’s stares, she sits with Anna and Caleb.
TOM
We could’ve saved her.
Dr Hart weeps softly.
A second softer, almost polite knock resounds.
Everyone gasps.
Tom stands up and trudges to the door.
DR HART
Tom, don’t be fooled.
TOM
You think we’re being fooled? Is that how you rationalize saving yourself while letting others perish?
From behind the door, a desperate, pleading, childlike girl’s voice calls out:
MYST VOICE (O.C.)
Please open the door. Help me.
Tom reaches for the door.
MRS HART
Tom, don’t!
TOM
We can’t just leave her out there.
Tom unlatches the lock.
MARCUS
He’s right. Open the door, Tom. We should save everyone we can.
MRS HART
No! You don’t understand how conniving and manipulative this Myst can be.
TOM
Maybe I don’t understand that, but I do understand how awful I’ll feel if I don’t do all I can to save everyone I can.
MYST VOICE (O.C.)
Please. Help me.
Tom looks back at everyone.
Dr Hart shakes her head no.
Marcus nods.
The others sob softly.
Tom looks back at Marcus, who nods again.
DR HART
Tom. Don’t.
Tom nods back and then opens the door just a crack.
TOM
I don’t. I don’t see anyone.
He opens the door a little bit.
TOM
What?
A NIGHT STALKER, a MYSTical figure emerges from the Myst and sneers.
Tom gasps.
Whoosh! Tom gets yanked out the door. His screaming echos in the night.
Marcus runs forward to lock the door.
Tom’s screaming subsides.
MYST VOICE (O.C.)
Thank you.
The Myst cackles.
Marcus collapses, leaning with his back to the door.
MARCUS
It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t nodded at him, Tom would still be alive.
The others huddle together silently, save for Claire’s blustering sobs, for she had grown quite fond of Tom; and now he’s gone.

[Dean Burkey]

LESSON 10 HOMEWORK:
Dean’s Level 1 Horror Emotion Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is how to toy with people’s emotions for fun and profit. ;oP
Scene Outline: The Arrival of the Red Antennas
Setting:
Eldergrove, a sunny afternoon. Villagers gather in the town square for a casual community picnic. Children play, people laugh.
Apprehension/Anxiety:
Introduction of the Antennas: During the picnic, a group of workers from Hargrove Communications arrives. They begin unloading bright red antennas from a truck, catching the attention of some villagers.
Villagers’ Reactions: The villagers exchange glances, murmuring questions about what’s going on. Dr. Evelyn Hart notices the anxious looks among the townspeople. She walks over to speak to one of the workers, but they just give her a vague smile and say, “We’re bringing better entertainment for everyone.”
Apprehensive Glances: Some of the older villagers, including Marcus, look uneasy. They voice their concerns to Daniel, the schoolteacher, about how fast everything seems to be changing. There is a palpable feeling of unease as the workers start installing the antennas on rooftops.
Surprise:
Activation Announcement: The team works quickly, almost too quickly. Startling to see.
Bright Red Antennas: The antennas clash with the Springbok atmosphere of this gentile town.
Shock:
Sudden Activation: A worker makes a mistake and gets zapped by whatever strange power comes from those antennas. He screams, flies off the roof, and lands dead in the street.
Shock and Fear: The zapped worker’s body gets covered with a tarp. But the tarp flattens, indicating that nothing is underneath. When the trucks storm away, that tarp blows away, revealing that the zapped worker’s body is gone. Gone for good.
Scene: The Arrival of the Red Antennas
FADE IN:
EXT. PARK / TOWN SQUARE – DAY
Villagers enjoy a casual community picnic. Smoke rises from grills. People stand in line to be served. Children run around playing tag, laughter fills the air.
DR EVELYN HART, sophisticated, yet accessible, attentive, personable, smart, stands before a SERVER.
DR HART
More please. Sarah’s potato salad is so serene. And I can use a lot more serenity in my life.
The Server smiles and scoops another scoop of potato salad onto Dr. Hart’s plate.
VROOM! The thunder of engines breaks the calm serenity as a convoy of Hargrove Communications trucks pull into the square.
Workers unload bright red antennas from the back of the trucks, placing them in neat rows along the sidewalk.
Teams with ladders dart around with ladders, antennas, and tools dart around town.
Curious whispers and stares ripple through the crowd as the picnic atmosphere turns from joyful to uncertain.
Dr. Hart savors a scoop of potato salad and approaches FOREMAN, early 50s, a determined man with a forced smile.
DR HART
Excuse me, what’s happening here?
While still working, he replies:
FOREMAN
We’re bringing better entertainment for everyone. Just a quick install, ma’am, nothing to worry about. Soon this town will be connected to the whole world.
DR HART
The whole world. Wow.
FOREMAN
The whole world. You should’ve received an email. We cleared everything with the mayor weeks ago.
Dr Hart nods and turns away to return to the picnic, but as she does so, her plate collapses, causing potato salad to splatter on the street. Sayonara serenity.
MARCUS, an elderly widower, moves closer to DANIEL, middle-aged, the village’s head schoolteacher.
MARCUS
Everything’s changing too quickly, Daniel. Why do we need all this?
Daniel nods, his gaze lingering on the red antennas being hoisted onto rooftops.
DANIEL
We’re getting more sports, movies, concerts, and shows than ever before.
MARCUS
Don’t we already have plenty of that?
DANIEL
We’re people, Marcus. We always want more.
Daniel grins. Marcus does not. Daniel waves a quick goodbye and darts over to Dr. Hart.
The Foreman calls out to the crowd with a megaphone:
FOREMAN
Enjoy your picnic. Your new Elite Entertainment will activate tonight at nine. Thank you for being a part of the Hargrove Communications family.
The Foreman puts the megaphone away and wraps up installation proceedings with his crew.
Daniel reaches Dr Hart.
DANIEL
Find out anything?
DR HART
They sent an email and cleared everything with the mayor.
DANIEL
Yeah, the email mentioned that. But something doesn’t feel right.
DR HART
True. I feel it too. The email said the antennas would blend in seamlessly. But those.
DANIEL
Stand out like blood on snow.
DR HART
Or ketchup on a wedding dress.
They share a gentle laugh. A short-lived laugh.
Their brows furrow as they gawk at how rapidly the workers fan out and cover the town with those bright red antennas. That blood on snow. Ketchup on white lace.
DANIEL
They just got here; and they look like they’re about to leave.
DR HART
Working faster than the bomb squad.
ANNA, 30s, maternal, caring, a true mom who’s tougher than she realizes, approaches with her son CALEB, 9, easily bored. She saddles alongside Daniel, who smiles to see her so close.
ANNA
They’re putting these up today?
DANIEL
Looks they’re almost done.
DR HART
Why do you sound so apprehensive? It’s just some harmless entertainment.
A ZAPPED WORKER touches a wire wrong, screams like a shark victim, and flies off a nearby roof, landing dead in the street.
Anna gasps and forces Caleb into a hug, so he can’t see.
DR HART
Mostly harmless.
The Foreman waves for two other WORKERS to quickly cover the Zapped Worker with a tarp.
But once they do, the tarp flattens to the street. The body is no longer there.
DANIEL
What the?
The Foreman and Dr Hart locks eyes for a tense, awkward moment.
He turns to his workers.
FOREMAN
Load up; and pull out!
DR HART
Semi-mostly harmless.
VROOM! The trucks thunder away as quickly as they arrived. That tarp blows away in the wind, revealing nothing underneath it, but street. That Zapped Worker’s body really is gone. Gone for good.
FADE OUT

[Dean Burkey]

Dean’s Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned is a better way to envision the story and plot out the events.
ACT 1: The Arrival of the Myst
EXT. SEASIDE TOWN – SUNRISE
A MYSTerious MYST moves through a seaside town that teems with new red antennas all around. Tortured screams abound.
EXT. CITY HALL – DAY
The Myst leaves silently. Five women lie dead, each with a bullet in her forehead. No one else is to be found in this once thriving town.
EXT. GOVERNOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Rich. Regal. Exudes power and authority.
INT. GOVERNOR’S OFFICE – DAY
When informed, the GOVERNOR orders that that tragedy be kept out of the news. Wealthy elite HARGROVE agrees to keep everything quiet.
EXT. ELDERGROVE – DAY
Welcome to the seaside town of Eldergrove, which seems like an ideal town, with lots of community events and everyone getting along.
Just the sort of out of the way town to get selected by Hargrove Communications to become beta testers for a new Internet / TV service to “connect” them with the real world.
Red antennas pop up all over town.
Less and less people attend the community events.
INT. ELDERGROVE – SUNSET
Six weeks after become beta-testers, that same mysterious Myst visits. Some citizens disappear.
The others assume they left town for personal reasons.
More people disappear in the Myst. – Disappear permanently!
Sarah runs from the Myst, but gets cornered and can’t run anymore.
People become more aware of the Myst making people disappear.
After Sarah disappears, people begin to consider the real dangers of the Myst.
ACT 2: Fear and Paranoia
EXT. ELDERGROVE – DAY
George uses an electric leaf-blower to stave off the Myst. But then the power goes out; and he gets engulfed.
Marcus uses a gas-powered leaf-blower, but it bursts into flames.
INT. HOUSE – DAY
The others stay locked inside.
The Myst defends itself in order to accomplish its goal: The annihilation of everyone in town.
EXT. ELDERGROVE – NIGHT
As night falls, the Myst takes on shadowy forms and appears to be alive, stalking the villagers, creating fear and paranoia.
INT. CITY HALL – NIGHT
Survivors, including Anna, Marcus, Claire, Daniel, and Dr. Evelyn Hart, stay in the village hall, trying to find safety in numbers.
The Myst uses the villagers’ fears against them, making them suspicious of one another. Marcus hears the voice of his late wife and steps into the Myst.
Claire becomes more withdrawn.
The Myst knows things about each person, so it’s more than just some Abracadabra fog making people disappear; its a MYSTerious entity instigating and thriving upon people’s fears.
ACT 3: Resolution?
INT. CITY HALL – DAY
Dr. Evelyn Hart deduces that the Myst feeds on despair and isolation. She tries to keep the group together emotionally, but her warnings are ignored as paranoia grows stronger.
She figures out that the Myst has something to do with the beta-test program for Hargrove Communications. The individualized programming separated people, making them more vulnerable and more “attractive” to the Myst.
Survivors start blaming each other for attracting the Myst.
EXT. ELDERGROVE – DAY
The Myst drives people apart. This division causes Marcus to step into the Myst, leading to his disappearance, and
Claire isolates herself further.
INT. CITY HALL – DAY
Anna tries to connect with Daniel, urging him to stay strong to fight the Myst.
Daniel, burdened by guilt and despair, begins to break down, but agrees to help however he can.
They manage to find a glimmer of hope by holding hands and sharing their fears, seemingly weakening the Myst temporarily.
Dr. Evelyn Hart pleads for everyone to stay together and to work together to destroy the signal from the red antennas.
EXT. ELDERGROVE – DAY
Daniel and Claire start knocking down the red antennas. The Myst grows weaker with each newly destroyed red antenna. So the Myst comes at Daniel and Claire full force, Daniel jumps off the roof, but Claire’s too afraid to jump and becomes engulfed by the Myst. Claire gets taken by the Myst.
INT. CITY HALL – DAY
Dr. Hart, Anna, her son, and Daniel clutch each other inside a the town hall.
The Myst seeps full force through cracks and under the doors to envelope them. Dr. Hart tells them to stay strong and keep their eyes closed.
Anna’s son becomes curious and peeks. The Myst takes him away.
Afraid Anna will open her eyes, Daniel opens his, so he can see to cover Anna’s eyes with his hands, pleading for her to keep them closed.
Daniel disappears.
Dr. Hart and Anna clutch each other with their eyes clenched closed, tears streaming down their faces. The Myst recedes, leaving Dr. Hart and Anna all alone. Eldergrove Population: Two.
EXT. CITY HALL – DAY
Seeing that the Myst receded, Dr. Hart and Anna run outside, sad everyone else died, but happy that they survived. They smile and hug and jump for joy. Kablam! Kablam! Bullets fired from a sniper hit them in their forehead. Eldergrove Population: Zero.
EXT. BASE CAMP – DAY
The sniper is Scientist 1: “Two survived this time. The Myst is getting better.”
Scientist 2: “Weird though. How the survivors never men.”
Scientist 1 calls Hargrove to inform him that the town has been “evacuated”.
EXT. ELDERGROVE – SUNSET
The scientists quickly remove and dispose of Dr. Hart and Claire’s bodies.
A government team arrives to investigate the disappearance of everyone, along with Mr. Hargrove, who quickly buys the village under the guise of helping, hinting at further sinister plans. Hargrove agrees to keep everything quiet, so he won’t ruin the governor’s chances of re-election. He also agrees to have his top scientists figure what could be causing such a MYSTerious phenomena.
EXT. SEASIDE TOWN – DAY
The Myst rolls into a new, isolated town, teeming with new red antennas.
EXT. BASE CAMP – DAY
Two scientists oversee the operation from a distance, hinting that Mr. Hargrove has a bigger plan; and the cycle is far from over. So the Myst isn’t so MYSTerious after all, for as long as there is greed and despair, the Myst will be there.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean’s Character Journey Track
What I learned doing this assignment is how to make sure each character serves a defined purpose and gets fleshed out properly too.
I was going to say that’s so cool that you mentioned The Thing, because I just watched that the other day, but then I remembered that I just watched that the other day, because it was part of our homework. ;oP
1. Anna
Role/Function in the Story: A young mother and one of the main protagonists, Anna is a symbol of hope and resilience, driven by her love for her son.
Traits (Main Characteristics): Caring, determined, resourceful, empathetic.
Fears (Primal Fears): Losing her son and being powerless to protect him.
Wants/Needs (Main Motivations): Anna wants to protect her son and keep him safe, and she needs to find a way to overcome the Myst to survive.
Likability / Rooting Factors: Anna’s love for her son, her determination to protect others, and her willingness to connect make her very likable and easy to root for.
How They React Under Stress: Under stress, Anna becomes proactive—she takes charge, tries to connect with others, and doesn’t give in to fear easily.
Relationship with Other Characters: She tries to support and form a bond with Daniel. She listens to Dr. Evelyn Hart’s advice and tries to keep everyone together.
Character Intro:
Anna is a young mother living in Eldergrove. She enjoys taking her son to community picnics and concerts, which shows her love for connecting with others. This foreshadows her willingness to try and form connections even in dire situations.
Role: Leader/Protector.
Denial:
Anna initially believes the disappearances might be a misunderstanding, possibly lost people in the fog. She stays positive for her son’s sake but starts to believe in the true horror once Sarah disappears.
Their Reaction at First Horror:
When she sees Sarah consumed by the Myst, she immediately becomes hyper-vigilant, holding her son close and urging the others to stay together.
Relation to Group After First Horror:
Anna takes on a leadership role, trying to unite the others and keep hope alive. She tries to get others to focus on protecting each other and sharing their fears.
How They Fight Back:
Anna uses empathy and connection as her weapon against the Myst. She attempts to form a genuine bond with Daniel, believing that unity and shared hope are the keys to survival.
End Point:
Anna and Dr. Hart survive the Myst, only to step outside where a sniper guns her down.
What Insight Do Their Deaths or Survival Bring?:
Anna’s death reveals that the Myst is far more sinister than just a supernatural force gone wild.
2. Marcus
Role/Function in the Story: An elderly widower who represents the vulnerability of loss and the power of the Myst to exploit emotional wounds.
Traits (Main Characteristics): Melancholic, nostalgic, vulnerable, traditional.
Fears (Primal Fears): Being alone and unable to reunite with his deceased wife.
Wants/Needs (Main Motivations): Marcus wants to find peace and be reunited with his wife.
Likability / Rooting Factors: Marcus’s grief and his devotion to his late wife make him a sympathetic character.
How They React Under Stress: He withdraws, becomes more vulnerable, and succumbs to the whispers of the Myst. He eventually gives up and steps into the Myst willingly.
Relationship with Other Characters: He is protective of the group but also fearful, leading to disagreements. He initially tries to barricade the group, thinking that it will keep them safe.
Character Intro:
Marcus is an elderly widower who spends time alone reminiscing about his wife. He attends community events but mostly watches from the sidelines, showing his struggle with loneliness.
Role: Skeptic/Reluctant Participant.
Denial:
Marcus believes that the disappearances are simply accidents. He is resistant to the idea that something supernatural is at play and thinks that if they barricade themselves, they’ll be safe.
Their Reaction at First Horror:
When Sarah disappears, Marcus becomes visibly shaken but still tries to rationalize it, believing that she must have gotten lost.
Relation to Group After First Horror:
Marcus is distrustful and skeptical. He argues for barricading the doors and staying inside, which creates conflict with Claire, who wants to take action.
How They Fight Back:
Marcus does not fight back in the traditional sense. Instead, he retreats inward, trying to block out the horrors. Eventually, the whispers become too much for him, and he gives in to the Myst.
End Point:
Marcus steps into the Myst willingly, drawn by the voice of his deceased wife, showing how his loneliness was his ultimate downfall.
What Insight Do Their Deaths or Survival Bring?:
Marcus’s death shows that giving in to past regrets and failing to move forward leaves one vulnerable to the Myst. Emotional stagnation becomes a key vulnerability.
3. Claire
Role/Function in the Story: A reclusive artist who symbolizes self-imposed isolation, her inability to trust makes her an easy target for the Myst.
Traits (Main Characteristics): Introverted, stubborn, distrustful, creative.
Fears (Primal Fears): Being judged or misunderstood, losing control.
Wants/Needs (Main Motivations): Claire wants to maintain her independence and avoid showing vulnerability.
Likability / Rooting Factors: Claire’s complexity, her desire to find her missing cat, and her creative perspective make her interesting, though her distrust can be alienating.
How They React Under Stress: Claire withdraws from others and avoids seeking help, eventually isolating herself and refusing to communicate.
Relationship with Other Characters: She clashes with Marcus and others who want her to stay inside, and her mistrust creates a barrier between her and the group.
Character Intro:
Claire is a reclusive artist who prefers to spend time with her cat and paint rather than socialize. She is creative but has a hard time trusting people, even at community events.
Role: Loner/Skeptic.
Denial:
Claire initially thinks the others are exaggerating and believes she should take care of herself rather than rely on others. She dismisses the supernatural explanations for the disappearances.
Their Reaction at First Horror:
When the horror becomes undeniable, Claire is scared but refuses to show vulnerability. She becomes desperate to find her cat, which leads to tension with Marcus.
Relation to Group After First Horror:
Claire grows more isolated, distrusting Marcus and avoiding making connections with others. Her fear of vulnerability keeps her distant.
How They Fight Back:
Claire helps Daniel destroy the red antennas. She likes him, but he likes Anna.
End Point:
Claire is too afraid to jump off the roof or rush down the ladder, so the Myst gets her when she helps Daniel destroy red antennas.
What Insight Do Their Deaths or Survival Bring?:
Claire’s death highlights that fear and hesitation can make individuals easy prey for the Myst, which feeds on negative emotions.
4. Daniel
Role/Function in the Story: A schoolteacher burdened with guilt for not being able to protect the children, representing the impact of regret.
Traits (Main Characteristics): Responsible, guilt-ridden, empathetic, intelligent.
Fears (Primal Fears): Failing those who depend on him, especially the children he was supposed to protect.
Wants/Needs (Main Motivations): Daniel wants to atone for what he perceives as his failures and find a way to keep others safe.
Likability / Rooting Factors: His dedication to his students, his empathy, and his willingness to help others make Daniel easy to sympathize with.
How They React Under Stress: Under stress, Daniel becomes erratic, overwhelmed by his guilt, and eventually sacrifices himself in a misguided attempt to save Anna.
Relationship with Other Characters: He forms a bond with Anna, and they try to keep each other strong. He respects Dr. Evelyn Hart and listens to her advice.
Character Intro:
Daniel is the village schoolteacher who loves his students. He is responsible and cares deeply for the children, making him feel a strong sense of guilt when they disappear.
Role: Caregiver/Guilt-Bearer.
Denial:
Daniel tries to rationalize the disappearances, believing he should have done more to protect the children. His denial is rooted in guilt and responsibility.
Their Reaction at First Horror:
When the horror becomes undeniable, Daniel is devastated and becomes increasingly erratic, overwhelmed by the weight of his guilt.
Relation to Group After First Horror:
Daniel becomes desperate to protect others and atone for his perceived failure. He leans on Anna for support and respects Dr. Evelyn’s guidance.
How They Fight Back:
Daniel attempts to fight back by trying to protect Anna and the others. He eventually sacrifices himself to save Anna.
End Point:
Daniel opens his eyes, so he can see to cover Anna’s eyes sure she would open them after her son disappears.
What Insight Do Their Deaths or Survival Bring?:
Daniel’s sacrifice illustrates the power of the Myst when it’s full force; and shows he truly loved Anna.
5. Dr. Evelyn Hart
Role/Function in the Story: The psychologist and voice of reason within the group, she tries to understand the Myst and keep the group connected.
Traits (Main Characteristics): Analytical, empathetic, composed, intelligent.
Fears (Primal Fears): Failing to save others, being powerless in the face of an unknown threat.
Wants/Needs (Main Motivations): Dr. Evelyn wants to understand the Myst, keep the survivors connected, and find a way to overcome the threat.
Likability / Rooting Factors: Her intelligence, her willingness to help, and her calm demeanor in the face of chaos make her likable and trustworthy.
How They React Under Stress: She tries to stay rational, encouraging others to stay connected and calm, even when things spiral out of control.
Relationship with Other Characters: She tries to lead the group and be a stabilizing force. She forms a partnership with Anna and Daniel in their attempt to fight the Myst.
Character Intro:
Dr. Evelyn Hart is a psychologist who has recently moved to Eldergrove. She is analytical and likes to help people, which is why she takes on a leadership role when the Myst arrives.
Role: Voice of Reason/Leader.
Denial:
Dr. Evelyn is initially skeptical of the supernatural aspect of the Myst, focusing on the psychological impact. Her scientific approach makes her take longer to acknowledge the true nature of the threat.
Their Reaction at First Horror:
When she realizes the nature of the Myst, she remains composed and starts analyzing how to survive, quickly pivoting her focus to helping others stay connected.
Relation to Group After First Horror:
Evelyn becomes the voice of reason, encouraging the survivors to share their fears and stay connected. She tries to maintain group cohesion.
How They Fight Back:
Dr. Evelyn fights back with knowledge and strategy. She discovers the link between the red antennas and the Myst and tries to disable them to weaken the threat.
End Point:
Although her discovery provides a glimmer of hope, the group is unable to destroy the antennas in time, and her efforts ultimately fail. She is the last survivor until a bullet hits her in the forehead
What Insight Do Their Deaths or Survival Bring?:
Dr. Evelyn’s efforts show that knowledge and understanding can be powerful, but timing and unity are crucial. Her death shows something far more sinister than something supernatural is at work in the Myst.
6. George
Role/Function in the Story: Represents the desperation of the villagers in their attempts to fight back against the Myst.
Traits (Main Characteristics): Resourceful, hopeful, determined.
Fears (Primal Fears): Feeling powerless and unable to protect himself or others.
Wants/Needs (Main Motivations): George wants to find a practical solution to fight the Myst.
Likability / Rooting Factors: His determination and creative approach to fight back make him sympathetic, though his plan ultimately fails.
How They React Under Stress: George becomes resourceful, trying to solve the problem directly. He uses an electric leaf blower to try and push back the Myst.
Relationship with Other Characters: He is part of the village group trying to survive, and his actions inspire a mix of hope and fear among the others.
Character Intro:
George is a practical man, always looking for a hands-on solution. He spends his time helping neighbors with small repairs, showing his resourcefulness and optimism.
Role: Problem Solver/Optimist.
Denial:
George refuses to believe that the Myst is unstoppable. He thinks there has to be a practical solution and tries to find a way to fight it.
Their Reaction at First Horror:
George grabs an electric leaf blower and tries to use it to fight back against the Myst. He believes action is better than inaction.
Relation to Group After First Horror:
George’s attempt gives the group a mix of hope and fear. Some see him as brave, while others think he’s reckless.
How They Fight Back:
George uses a direct, practical approach, trying to physically repel the Myst with tools he has on hand.
End Point:
His leaf blower fails when the power goes out, and he is swallowed by the Myst. His failure shows the fragility of human tools against supernatural forces.
What Insight Do Their Deaths or Survival Bring?:
George’s death shows that while courage is admirable, practical tools alone are no match for supernatural threats. More is needed than brute force.
7. Tom
Role/Function in the Story: Another desperate villager who tries to improve on George’s failed attempt, representing false hope and the lengths people will go to survive.
Traits (Main Characteristics): Confident, bold, hopeful.
Fears (Primal Fears): Being rendered helpless, failing where others have failed.
Wants/Needs (Main Motivations): Tom wants to succeed where George failed, to find a way to overcome the Myst.
Likability / Rooting Factors: His confidence and willingness to take risks make him relatable, though his recklessness leads to his demise.
How They React Under Stress: Tom reacts by trying to take control, using a gas-powered leaf blower to fight back.
Relationship with Other Characters: Tom’s actions give the villagers false hope, but his failure ultimately adds to their despair.
Character Intro:
Tom is bold and confident, known for his brash nature. He often takes risks, believing that fortune favors the brave.
Role: Risk-Taker/Challenger.
Denial:
Tom believes George’s failure was due to the choice of tools, not the nature of the Myst itself. He thinks he can outsmart the problem.
Their Reaction at First Horror:
Tom confidently grabs a gas-powered leaf blower, determined to succeed where George failed, believing power and confidence will make a difference.
Relation to Group After First Horror:
His confidence gives the group a fleeting moment of hope, but when he fails, it plunges the group into deeper despair.
How They Fight Back:
Tom uses brute force, attempting to physically push back the Myst with more power. He’s convinced he can solve the problem by taking a bigger risk.
End Point:
The gas blower overheats and bursts into flames, and Tom is consumed by the Myst. His failure shows that bravado without understanding is dangerous.
What Insight Do Their Deaths or Survival Bring?:
Tom’s death serves as a warning against reckless overconfidence and the danger of relying solely on force without considering the deeper problem.
8. Sarah
Role/Function in the Story: The first victim of the Myst, setting the tone of fear and helplessness in the village.
Traits (Main Characteristics): Fearful, reactive, determined.
Fears (Primal Fears): Fear of the unknown, fear of isolation.
Wants/Needs (Main Motivations): Sarah wants to escape the Myst and survive.
Likability / Rooting Factors: Sarah’s vulnerability and her desperate attempt to escape make her a sympathetic character.
How They React Under Stress: She panics, running blindly through the Myst until she is cornered.
Relationship with Other Characters: Her disappearance terrifies the other villagers and sets off the chain of events that lead to the growing fear and isolation in Eldergrove.
Character Intro:
Sarah is portrayed as a fearful and dependent person. She often follows the lead of others, showing a lack of confidence. She finds solace in community events, but always remains in the background.
Role: Follower/Victim.
Denial:
When the disappearances begin, Sarah denies the true danger, convinced that as long as she stays with the group, she’ll be fine. She doesn’t see the Myst as a personal threat until it’s too late.
Their Reaction at First Horror:
When the Myst surrounds her, Sarah panics. She runs blindly without a plan, unable to face the horror or think clearly. Her flight response is pure instinct, driven by overwhelming fear.
Relation to Group After First Horror:
Sarah’s death acts as a catalyst for fear among the others. She does not live long enough to interact significantly with the group after the first horror, as she is one of the initial victims.
How They Fight Back:
Sarah doesn’t fight back; her immediate instinct is to flee. Her lack of composure and reactive nature prevent her from contributing to the group’s efforts.
End Point:
She is cornered by the Myst in an alleyway and disappears. Her screams are muffled, and she is swallowed by the Myst without leaving a trace.
What Insight Do Their Deaths or Survival Bring?:
Sarah’s death emphasizes the consequences of panic and the inability to stay rational. It shows that losing control and giving in to fear makes a person an easy target for the Myst. It serves as a warning to the group that staying composed and united is vital for survival.
MYST
ACT 1: The Arrival of the Myst
Atmosphere of Evil established: A previous town with red antennas all around has its population plummet to zero thanks to the Myst! And five bullets for the women who survived the Myst.
Monster Reveal: Somehow that Myst did something to almost everyone in that town.
Horror Situation: That town gets enveloped by the Myst.
Reaction: Everyone, except for five women who are found shot, screams and then disappears. (Horrific screams, not just-won-the-lottery screams.)
When informed, the governor orders that that tragedy be kept out of the news. Wealthy elite Hargrove agrees to keep everything quiet.
Welcome to the seaside town of Eldergrove, which seems like an ideal town, with lots of community events and everyone getting along.
Just the sort of out of the way town to get selected by Hargrove Communications to become beta testers for a new Internet / TV service to “connect” them with the real world.
Red antennas pop up all over town.
Less and less people attend the community events.
Six weeks after become beta-testers, that same mysterious Myst visits.
Horror Situation: Some citizens disappear.
Reaction: The others assume they left town for personal reasons. A.k.a. denial!
Monster Reveal: People disappear in the Myst. – Disappear permanently!
Horror Situation: Sarah runs from the Myst, but gets cornered and can’t run anymore.
Reaction: Attempt to escape.
Monster Reveal: People become more aware of the Myst making people disappear.
After Sarah disappears, people begin to consider the real dangers of the Myst.
ACT 2: Fear and Paranoia
Horror Situation: George uses an electric leaf-blower to stave off the Myst. But then the power goes out; and he gets engulfed.
Reaction: Try to solve it.
Monster Reveal: The Myst isn’t as easily stopped.
Horror Situation: Marcus uses a gas-powered leaf-blower, but it bursts into flames.
Reaction: Hide. The others stay locked inside.
Monster Reveal: The Myst defends itself in order to accomplish its goal: The annihilation of everyone in town.
As night falls, the Myst takes on shadowy forms and appears to be alive, stalking the villagers, creating fear and paranoia.
Survivors, including Anna, Marcus, Claire, Daniel, and Dr. Evelyn Hart, stay in the village hall, trying to find safety in numbers.
Horror Situation: The Myst uses the villagers’ fears against them, making them suspicious of one another. Marcus hears the voice of his late wife and steps into the mist.
Reaction: Claire becomes more withdrawn.
Monster Reveal: The Myst knows things about each person, so it’s more than just some Abracadabra fog making people disappear; its a MYSTerious entity instigating and thriving upon people’s fears.
ACT 3: Resolution?
Dr. Evelyn Hart deduces that the Myst feeds on despair and isolation. She tries to keep the group together emotionally, but her warnings are ignored as paranoia grows stronger.
Monster Reveal: She figures out that the Myst has something to do with the beta-test program for Hargrove Communications. The individualized programming separated people, making them more vulnerable and more “attractive” to the Myst.
Survivors start blaming each other for attracting the Myst.
Horror Situation: This division causes Marcus to step into the mist, leading to his disappearance, and
Reaction: Claire isolates herself further.
Monster Reveal: The Myst drives people apart.
Anna tries to connect with Daniel, urging him to stay strong to fight the Myst. Daniel, burdened by guilt and despair, begins to break down, but agrees to help however he can.
They manage to find a glimmer of hope by holding hands and sharing their fears, seemingly weakening the Myst temporarily.
Monster Reveal: Dr. Evelyn Hart pleads for everyone to stay together and to work together to destroy the signal from the red antennas.
Daniel and Claire start knocking down the red antennas.
Monster Reveal: The Myst grows weaker with each newly destroyed red antenna. So the Myst comes at Daniel and Claire full force, Daniel jumps off the roof, but Claire’s too afraid to jump and becomes engulfed by the Myst.
Horror Situation: Claire gets taken by the Myst.
Reaction: Dr. Hart, Anna, her son, and Daniel clutch each other inside a the town hall.
Monster Reveal: The Myst seeps full force through cracks and under the doors to envelope them. Dr. Hart tells them to stay strong and keep their eyes closed.
Horror Situation: Anna’s son becomes curious and peeks. The Myst takes him away.
Reaction: Afraid Anna will open her eyes, Daniel opens his, so he can see to cover Anna’s eyes with his hands, pleading for her to keep them closed.
Horror Situation: Daniel disappears.
Reaction: Dr. Hart and Anna clutch each other with their eyes clenched closed, tears streaming down their faces. The Myst recedes, leaving Dr. Hart and Anna all alone. Eldergrove Population: Two.
Seeing that the Myst receded, Dr. Hart and Anna run outside, sad everyone else died, but happy that they survived. They smile and hug and jump for joy.
Kablam! Kablam! Bullets fired from a sniper hit each of them in their forehead. Eldergrove Population: Zero.
Scientist 1: “Two survived this time. The Myst is getting better.” Scientist 2: “Weird though. How the survivors never men.” The sniper is Scientist 1 who calls Hargrove to inform him that the town has been “evacuated”. The scientists quickly remove and dispose of Dr. Hart and Claire’s bodies.
A government team arrives to investigate the disappearance of everyone, along with Mr. Hargrove, who quickly buys the village under the guise of helping, hinting at further sinister plans. Hargrove agrees to keep everything quiet, so he won’t ruin the governor’s chances of re-election. He also agrees to have his top scientists figure what could be causing such a MYSTerious phenomena.
The Myst rolls into a new, isolated town, teeming with new red antennas. Two scientists oversee the operation from a distance, hinting that Mr. Hargrove has a bigger plan; and the cycle is far from over. So the Myst isn’t so MYSTerious after all, for as long as there is greed and despair, the Myst will be there.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean's Monster Reveal Track
What I learned from this assignment is how to orchestrate revealing the monster to the audience. A.k.a. How to put the suspense technique of Fragmented Information to good use regarding our dear, sweet monster. ;oP
I watched The Thing starring Kurt Russell, but I didn't sleep well the night before, so I nodded off a few times. Starts off with a flying saucer coming to Earth and then we have the mystery of why are the Norwegians trying to shoot a dog. That dogs turns out to be “The Thing”, space alien. The thing takes over people. They figure out a blood test to determine who's still human; and who's not. After the thing takes out the generator, they know they're not going to survive, so they decide they can't let the thing survive either, so they set fire and blow up each room. Spoiler Alert: Kurt Russell throws a lit stick of dynamite into the thing; and the thing explodes. – But that doesn't mean it's gone for good. – If box office sales are high enough, nothing is ever gone for good! ;oP Kurt Russell and Keith David sit together, not fully sure the other's still human, but agreeing to just sit for a while.
The Myst: The Monster of the Story
Their Terror:
The Myst embodies a creeping terror that isolates and consumes. Its presence creates an overwhelming sense of helplessness, disconnection, and despair. It terrorizes by exploiting each person’s vulnerabilities—whispering their regrets, manifesting their fears, and ultimately consuming those who fall prey to isolation.
Powers:
Fog Manipulation: The Myst can move and change its density, encroaching on the village and forming twisted shapes, shadowy silhouettes, and figures that press against windows and doors.
Whispered Manipulation: The Myst whispers in the voices of lost loved ones, exploiting the emotional weaknesses of individuals to lure them into its depths.
Emotion Feeding: It feeds on loneliness, despair, and isolation, drawing strength from the negative emotions of the villagers.
Invisibility in the Mist: It consumes its victims, leaving no trace behind, making it appear as if they simply vanish.
Limitations:
Relies on Emotional Vulnerability: The Myst needs individuals to be emotionally disconnected and vulnerable. It targets those who are isolated or overwhelmed with despair.
Slower Movement During Connection: When people form strong emotional bonds or genuine connections, the Myst seems to lose some of its power, becoming less aggressive.
Weaknesses:
Connection and Unity: The Myst struggles to overpower those who stay connected, emotionally open, and supportive of each other. Emotional bonds provide some measure of resistance against its influence.
Light/Fire: The Myst appears to be slowed by direct light or fire, though not entirely repelled by it. George and Tom's leaf blower attempts suggest that forcing the mist away is possible, but the villagers' crude tools ultimately fail.
Plan/Purpose/Appetite:
The Myst’s purpose appears to be to consume and feed on human despair. It is drawn to places where disconnection festers—isolated towns where emotional distance and missed opportunities are prevalent. It feeds not just on physical bodies but on the spirit, amplifying individuals' fears, regrets, and sense of loneliness. The Myst wants to drain away hope and leave only emptiness behind.
It acts as both a literal and metaphorical representation of isolation and missed connections in modern society—targeting those who do not form meaningful bonds or who harbor deep, unresolved regrets. Its "appetite" is for those missed opportunities—the love not shared, the words left unspoken, the community bonds neglected. The Myst's ultimate goal is to reduce entire towns into empty shells, feeding on the despair of their residents until there is nothing left.
MYST
ACT 1: The Arrival of the Myst
Atmosphere of Evil established: A previous town with red antennas all around has its population plummet to zero thanks to the Myst!
Monster Reveal: Somehow that Myst did something to everyone in that town.
Horror Situation: That town gets enveloped by the Myst.
Reaction: Everyone screams and then disappears. (Horrific screams, not just-won-the-lottery screams.)
When informed, the governor orders that that tragedy be kept out of the news. Wealthy elite Hargrove agrees to keep everything quiet.
Welcome to the seaside town of Eldergrove, which seems like an ideal town, with lots of community events and everyone getting along.
Just the sort of out of the way town to get selected by Hargrove Communications to become beta testers for a new Internet / TV service to “connect” them with the real world.
Red antennas pop up all over town.
Less and less people attend the community events.
Six weeks after become beta-testers, that same mysterious Myst visits.
Horror Situation: Some citizens disappear.
Reaction: The others assume they left town for personal reasons. A.k.a. denial!
Monster Reveal: People disappear in the Myst. – Disappear permanently!
Horror Situation: A citizen runs from the Myst, but gets cornered and can't run anymore.
Reaction: Attempt to escape.
Monster Reveal: People become more aware of the Myst making people disappear.
ACT 2: Fear and Paranoia
Horror Situation: A citizen uses an electric leaf-blower to stave off the Myst. But then the power goes out; and he gets engulfed.
Reaction: Try to solve it.
Monster Reveal: The Myst isn't as easily stopped.
Horror Situation: Another citizen uses a gas-powered leaf-blower, but it bursts into flames.
Reaction: Hide. The others stay locked inside.
Monster Reveal: The Myst defends itself in order to accomplish its goal: The annihilation of everyone in town.
As night falls, the Myst takes on shadowy forms and appears to be alive, stalking the villagers, creating fear and paranoia.
Survivors, including Anna, Marcus, Claire, Daniel, and Dr. Evelyn Hart, stay in the village hall, trying to find safety in numbers.
Horror Situation: The Myst uses the villagers' fears against them, making them suspicious of one another. Marcus hears the voice of his late wife and steps into the mist.
Reaction: Claire becomes more withdrawn.
Monster Reveal: The Myst knows things about each person, so it's more than just some Abracadabra fog making people disappear; its a MYSTerious entity instigating and thriving upon people's fears.
ACT 3: Resolution?
Dr. Evelyn Hart deduces that the Myst feeds on despair and isolation. She tries to keep the group together emotionally, but her warnings are ignored as paranoia grows stronger.
Monster Reveal: She figures out that the Myst has something to do with the beta-test program for Hargrove Communications. The individualized programming separated people, making them more vulnerable and more “attractive” to the Myst.
Survivors start blaming each other for attracting the Myst.
Horror Situation: This division causes Marcus to step into the mist, leading to his disappearance, and
Reaction: Claire isolates herself further.
Monster Reveal: The Myst drives people apart.
Anna tries to connect with Daniel, urging him to stay strong to fight the Myst. Daniel, burdened by guilt and despair, begins to break down.
They manage to find a glimmer of hope by holding hands and sharing their fears, seemingly weakening the Myst temporarily.
Daniel ultimately lets go of Anna, believing the Myst wants her instead of him.
Horror Situation: He opens the door, allowing the Myst to engulf him.
Reaction: Anna runs home.
Monster Reveal: Dr. Evelyn Hart pleads for everyone to stay together and to work together to destroy the signal from the red antennas.
Horror Situation: With her son gone, Anna, realizing there's no escape, hears his voice. She steps into the mist, disappearing like the others.
Reaction: The Myst recedes, leaving Dr. Hart and Claire all alone. Eldergrove Population: Two.
Seeing that the Myst receded, Dr. Hart and Claire run outside, sad everyone else died, but happy that they survived. They smile and hug and jump for joy.
Kablam! Kablam! Bullets fired from a sniper hit each of them in their forehead. Eldergrove Population: Zero.
The sniper is a scientist who calls Hargrove to inform him that the town has been “evacuated”. The scientist quickly remove Dr. Hart and Claire's bodies.
A government team arrives to investigate the disappearance of everyone, along with Mr. Hargrove, who quickly buys the village under the guise of helping, hinting at further sinister plans. Hargrove agrees to keep everything quiet, so he won't ruin the governor's chances of re-election. He also agrees to have his top scientists figure what could be causing such a MYSTerious phenomena.
The Myst rolls into a new, isolated town, now teeming with red antennas. Two scientists oversee the operation from a distance, hinting that Mr. Hargrove has a bigger plan; and the cycle is far from over. So the Myst isn't so MYSTerious after all, for as long as there is greed and despair, the Myst will be there.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.
• This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean's Character Death Track

What I learned doing this assignment is that it's just not a horror movie without something horrifying happening, so we should make out horror stories as wonderfully horrorable as possible. ;oP

Character Death 1: Sarah
Why: To start off the “disappearances” for this new town. Sarah became separated from the group and was disoriented in the mist. Her isolation and fear made her vulnerable.
How: She ran blindly through the fog until she was cornered in an alleyway, where the Myst consumed her.

Character Death 2: George
Why: To show how easily feeble attempts to defeat the Myst can be foiled. George attempted to fight the Myst with an electric leaf blower, trying to push it back, but it ultimately failed.
How: To show how easily feeble attempts to defeat the Myst can be foiled. The power went out, leaving him vulnerable, and the Myst engulfed him.

Character Death 3: Tom
Why: Again, to show that the Myst can't be so easily overcome. Tom believed a gas-powered leaf blower would succeed where the electric one failed.
How: The blower overheated and burst into flames, and the Myst swallowed him as he struggled.

Character Death 4: Marcus
Why: To show that sooner or later, everyone succumbs to the allure of the Myst, like flies to a Venus Fly Trap. Marcus was overwhelmed by his grief and heard the voice of his deceased wife calling to him from the Myst.
How: He willingly stepped into the Myst to join her, and vanished without a sound.

Character Death 5: Daniel
Why: To show that the Myst will eventually take everyone, no matter how noble or not their reasoning is. Daniel believed that the Myst wanted Anna, not him, and sacrificed himself to protect her.
How: He opened the door to let the Myst in, and it immediately consumed him.

Character Death 6: Anna
Why: To finish the diabolical “evacuation” of this town. Anna was overwhelmed with despair after realizing her son was gone. She believed she heard his voice calling from the Myst.
How: She stepped into the Myst, disappearing like the others.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.
• This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean's Horror Situation Track

What I learned from doing this assignment is how to give my characters the worst, and more than likely the last, day of their lives.

MYST

ACT 1: The Arrival of the Myst

Atmosphere of Evil established: A previous town's population plummets to zero!

Horror Situation: That town gets enveloped by the Myst.

Reaction: Everyone screams and then disappears. (Horrific screams, not just-won-the-lottery screams.)

When informed, the governor orders that that tragedy be kept out of the news.

Welcome to the seaside town of Eldergrove, which seems like an ideal town, until that same mysterious Myst visits.

Horror Situation: Some citizens disappear.

Reaction: The others assume they left town for personal reasons. A.k.a. denial!

Horror Situation: A citizen runs from the Myst, but gets cornered and can't run anymore.

Reaction: Attempt to escape.

ACT 2: Fear and Paranoia

Horror Situation: A citizen uses an electric leaf-blower to stave off the Myst. But then the power goes out; and he gets engulfed.

Reaction: Try to solve it.

Horror Situation: Another citizen uses a gas-powered leaf-blower, but it bursts into flames.

Reaction: Hide. The others stay locked inside.

As night falls, the Myst takes on shadowy forms and appears to be alive, stalking the villagers, creating fear and paranoia.

Survivors, including Anna, Marcus, Claire, Daniel, and Dr. Evelyn Hart, stay in the village hall, trying to find safety in numbers.

Horror Situation: The Myst uses the villagers' fears against them, making them suspicious of one another. Marcus hears the voice of his late wife and steps into the mist.

Reaction: Claire becomes more withdrawn.

ACT 3: Resolution?

Dr. Evelyn Hart deduces that the Myst feeds on despair and isolation. She tries to keep the group together emotionally, but her warnings are ignored as paranoia grows stronger.

Survivors start blaming each other for attracting the Myst.

Horror Situation: This division causes Marcus to step into the mist, leading to his disappearance, and

Reaction: Claire isolates herself further.

Anna tries to connect with Daniel, urging him to stay strong to fight the Myst. Daniel, burdened by guilt and despair, begins to break down.

They manage to find a glimmer of hope by holding hands and sharing their fears, seemingly weakening the Myst temporarily.

Daniel ultimately lets go of Anna, believing the Myst wants her instead of him.

Horror Situation: He opens the door, allowing the Myst to engulf him.

Reaction: Anna runs home.

Horror Situation: With her son gone, Anna, realizing there's no escape, hears his voice. She steps into the mist, disappearing like the others.

Reaction: The Myst recedes, leaving behind an abandoned village. A government team arrives to investigate the disappearance, along with Mr. Hargrove, who quickly buys the village under the guise of helping, hinting at further sinister plans.

The Myst rolls into a new, isolated town. Two scientists oversee the operation from a distance, hinting that Mr. Hargrove has a bigger plan, and the cycle is far from over. As long as there is greed and despair, the Myst will be there.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 3 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean's Horror Plot

What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of outlining a plot to help prevent plot holes. Or if this was a highway movie or a joint movie: Pot holes. ;oP

MYST

ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR

This isn’t the first town this happens to, so we see the horrific end of the previous town. The governor receives a report, but chooses to keep everything quiet, fearing any bad news will ruin his chance of re-election. His aide promises him that Mr. Hargrove will keep everything under wraps. A dense mist rolls into Eldergrove, creating an eerie, muffled silence and reducing visibility, immediately unsettling the villagers and foreshadowing danger.

Connect with the characters: The story introduces Anna, Marcus, Claire, Daniel, and Dr. Evelyn Hart, revealing glimpses of their fears and regrets, establishing their humanity and vulnerability.

The characters are warned not to do it: They realize that stepping into the mist means disappearance, leading them to warn each other to stay inside and avoid the Myst at all costs.

Denial of Horror: Despite initial disappearances, the villagers believe it could all just be a case of getting lost. Some are hesitant to accept the supernatural explanation.

Safety taken away: As more people vanish, fear grips the village, and the safety of their homes is no longer guaranteed as the mist presses against windows and doors.

Monster: The nature of the beast: The Myst reveals itself to be more than just a fog—it whispers, stalks, and feeds on fear, loneliness, and despair.

ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN

Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The villagers gather in the village hall, realizing there is nowhere left to go as the Myst surrounds them. They are effectively trapped, isolated from the outside world.

One of us killed: Marcus, tormented by the voice of his late wife, steps into the mist and vanishes. His disappearance further deepens the sense of hopelessness.

MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought! The survivors learn that the Myst feeds on emotional disconnection and despair, using their fears against them and driving them apart.

Full pursuit by the killer: The Myst takes on increasingly sinister forms, pressing against the windows, scratching at doors, and finding ways to drive wedges between the survivors.

Terrorized: The survivors are terrorized as their own fears, regrets, and loneliness are brought to the forefront. Paranoia sets in, breaking the fragile unity they had formed.

ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR

Fight to the death: Anna tries desperately to hold on to hope and fight against the despair that the Myst feeds on. She reaches out to Daniel, trying to convince him to resist the whispers.

Hysteria: The survivors are pushed to the brink of hysteria as the Myst grows stronger. Daniel, overwhelmed by guilt, succumbs to the mist, believing it is Anna the Myst wants.

The thrilling escape from death: Anna runs back to her house to save her son, but the house is empty, and the mist has already taken him. She tries to fight but realizes there is no escape.

Death returns to take one or more: In the end, Anna hears her son's voice calling to her from within the mist. She steps into it, disappearing like the others, leaving the village empty.

Resolution: Days later, a government team arrives, accompanied by Mr. Hargrove, who quickly takes ownership of the empty village. The scene shifts to a new town where the Myst begins to roll in again, with two scientists observing and confirming the continuation of Mr. Hargrove's exploitation—revealing the insidious, never-ending cycle.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 3 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean's Characters for Horror

What I learned doing this assignment is how to get a god complex and choose who lives and who dies. ;oP

Tell us your Concept and the Group you have chosen.

Concept: A mist envelopes an isolated seaside town.

Group: The townspeople.

Tell us the Dying Pattern of this movie.

Each one disappears. One by one.

Give us an Identity and a sentence for each character that makes up your group.

Main Characters:

1. Anna (Young Mother)

Role: Anna is a central character who symbolizes hope and resilience. She is driven by her love for her young son, and her primary motivation is to protect him. She tries to form connections with the other survivors in an effort to fight against the Myst's power. Anna's maternal instincts and determination to save her child serve as the emotional core of the story.

2. Marcus (Elderly Widower)

Role: Marcus represents the vulnerability of loss. Haunted by the voice of his deceased wife, he succumbs to the Myst's whispers, unable to bear the isolation any longer. His character highlights the Myst’s ability to exploit grief and the emotional weight of losing loved ones.

3. Claire (Reclusive Artist)

Role: Claire is a loner by nature, having pushed people away for years. Her character is used to illustrate how self-imposed isolation can be just as dangerous as imposed loneliness. She is unable to trust others, which ultimately leads to her isolating herself further and becoming an easy target for the Myst.

4. Daniel (Village Schoolteacher)

Role: Daniel represents guilt and the burden of responsibility. As a teacher, he feels responsible for the children who have vanished, and this guilt eats away at him, making him susceptible to the Myst’s influence. His arc shows how guilt, when left unaddressed, can lead to self-destruction.

5. Dr. Evelyn Hart (Psychologist)

Role: Dr. Evelyn Hart is the voice of reason within the group. She begins to understand the nature of the Myst and tries to explain its rules—that it feeds on isolation and despair. She urges the group to stay connected and support each other, but her warnings are ignored as paranoia takes over. Evelyn's role is crucial in revealing the true nature of the Myst to the audience.

These are the main characters for the main part of the story.

A different set of characters appear in the post-traumatic twist ending.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 3 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean's Terrifying Monster

What I learned doing this assignment is how to create something terrifying that generates horror, unless you're writing a rom-com, because love is scary enough. ;oP

Tell us what or who your monster is:
The Myst is an amorphous, living fog that acts as the antagonist of the story, feeding on emotional disconnection and loneliness. It is not a traditional monster but rather an atmospheric entity, making it all the more terrifying because it has no defined shape or form. Its sinister presence is felt through its ability to exploit human fears and missed opportunities.

Their Terror:

The Myst brings terror by isolating individuals both physically and emotionally. It feeds off negative emotions—specifically loneliness, regret, and fear—making it stronger. The terror lies in its ability to target people’s vulnerabilities, haunting them with whispers that amplify their despair. As it envelops individuals, they vanish without a trace, leaving an eerie emptiness behind.

Their Mystery:

The Myst is mysterious because its true origin and motives remain unclear. It seems almost sentient, knowing the villagers' secrets and fears. It thrives in isolation and waits patiently, making its victims believe there is no escape. Dr. Evelyn Hart pieces together its nature, understanding that it targets emotionally disconnected people, but the Myst remains enigmatic, never revealing why it exists or why it chooses certain places.

Their Fear-Provoking Appearance:

The Myst itself has no fixed appearance, which makes it even more terrifying. It’s an ethereal, thick mist that can shift and form shadowy figures. At night, the Myst takes on twisted forms that press against windows, scratch at doors, and sometimes resemble the people who have vanished, embodying fears and regrets. The fear-provoking aspect is that it seems sentient, relentless, and constantly watching, and it is something that cannot be touched, reasoned with, or fought.

Their Rules:

1. Isolation Breeds Danger: The Myst targets individuals who are emotionally isolated. The more disconnected people are from each other, the stronger the Myst becomes.
2. Movement in the Myst Leads to Disappearance: Anyone who steps into the Myst disappears without a trace.
3. Night Intensifies Its Power: At night, the Myst becomes more aggressive, taking on twisted forms and actively terrorizing survivors.
4. Feeds on Negative Emotions: The Myst feeds on despair, regret, and loneliness. Staying connected and emotionally close to others can keep it at bay.

Their Mythology:

The Myst symbolizes everything “missed”—missed connections, missed opportunities, and unspoken words. It thrives in places where people are struggling with disconnection and emotional distance, feeding on the loneliness that results from this. The mythology suggests that it has no beginning and no end, roaming to places where human vulnerability is ripe for consumption. The Myst is drawn to isolated towns, where people have been conditioned to keep to themselves or harbor deep, unresolved regrets. It serves as a manifestation of the consequences of emotional neglect, a force that turns those “missed” opportunities into an inescapable fate.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 3 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

UPDATED:
Jaws Horror Conventions:

What I learned doing this assignment is… I should've seen the pre-class assignment sooner! I'll try to do that this weekend, depending on how Milton Madness goes. – UPDATE: I survived; and my power is back on. I hope to get caught up on this class this weekend.
Also, I got introduced to all the pieces that make up the jigsaw puzzle of horror.

Title/Concept:

Jaws! Just when you thought it was safe to do screenwriting homework…

The concept of Jaws centers on a great white shark terrorizing the small, seaside town of Amity Island. The threat becomes more than just a natural predator; it is an unseen menace that represents a primal fear of the unknown lurking beneath the surface, making every beachgoer a potential victim.

The Way the Shark Terrorizes the Characters:

The shark terrorizes through:

Stealth and unpredictability: The shark is rarely seen, building suspense as it attacks without warning.

Targeting the vulnerable: It hunts beachgoers, particularly focusing on children and lone swimmers.

Its size and strength: The shark's power is overwhelming, making it nearly impossible to fight off.

Inescapability: The water becomes the characters' enemy. Anyone entering the ocean is vulnerable, with little chance of survival once the shark attacks.

Isolation:

The isolation in Jaws is both geographical and emotional:

Geographical: Amity Island is cut off from outside help, and much of the action takes place out in the ocean, where characters are isolated from safety.

Emotional: Chief Brody faces isolation as he tries to close the beaches and warn others about the danger, but he is met with resistance from the town’s officials and business community, who prioritize tourism over safety.

Death:

Death in Jaws is gruesome, often swift, and unexpected:

Victims, including the young boy and other swimmers, are dragged beneath the water in bloody attacks.

Each death escalates the tension, showcasing the shark’s lethal nature and the town's inability to stop it.

The deaths also heighten the stakes for the main characters as they eventually set out on a dangerous mission to kill the shark.

Monster/Villain:

The shark itself is the monster—a nearly indestructible force of nature. It has no motive, emotion, or personality beyond pure instinctual hunger, making it more terrifying. Unlike typical villains, the shark represents an amoral, natural danger, preying on humans without discrimination.

High Tension:

The build-up of unseen danger: Much of the tension comes from not knowing when or where the shark will strike. The iconic musical score by John Williams increases the tension with its slow, creeping crescendo.

The struggle between man and nature: As Brody, Quint, and Hooper hunt the shark, the tension escalates, culminating in a battle for survival where human cunning and bravery are pitted against an unstoppable predator.

The final showdown: The climax aboard the sinking Orca, with Brody facing the shark alone, creates near-unbearable tension.

Departure from Reality:

The shark in Jaws is often depicted with exaggerated capabilities compared to a real great white. Its relentless pursuit of the boat and supernaturally cunning behavior heighten the sense of a monstrous, otherworldly antagonist.

The film plays on the audience’s suspension of disbelief, allowing for moments of heightened drama and tension that go beyond the realistic behaviors of actual sharks.

Moral Statement:

One key moral statement is about the danger of ignoring expert advice for financial gain. The town’s leadership dismisses warnings to keep the beaches open for tourism, resulting in
tragedy. This speaks to the consequences of prioritizing economic interests over human safety.

Another theme involves man versus nature, highlighting humanity's fragile position in the natural world and the respect that must be given to forces beyond our control.

Jaws uses these classic horror elements to create a gripping, suspense-filled story that taps into primal fears and leaves a lasting impact.

My Concept: “Myst”
A. Monster: A mysterious mist.
B. Terror: People who go into the mist vanish.
C. Environment: An isolated seaside town.
D. Victims: The population of the town.

• This reply was modified 8 months, 4 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.
• This reply was modified 8 months, 3 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.
• This reply was modified 8 months, 3 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean Burkey

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

• This reply was modified 9 months ago by  Dean Burkey.
• This reply was modified 9 months ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Hi everybody!

1. Name? Dean Burkey

2. How many scripts you’ve written? Over 20. Maybe even over 30. Some of which I think are really good. ;oP

3. What you hope to get out of the class? Learn a new screenwriting skill. I'm not a big horror fan, but that seems to be the best way to break into the business.

4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? I usually write comedy. The last time I tried to write a horror screenplay, it turned out to be one of my zaniest stories. So clearly I have things to learn about horror…

• This reply was modified 9 months ago by  Dean Burkey.
• This reply was modified 9 months ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean's Banter / Flirting / Expressions

What I learned doing this assignment is a cool way to give necessary information without it sounding like exposition, even when it is – it totally is!

Banter Scene: Meet-Cute

Setting: The first day of filming. Ethan, trying to reel in a fish for the romantic scene, stumbles and falls into the water, creating an embarrassing but funny moment. Sophie watches, trying not to laugh.

Ethan: (scrambling out of the water) “The Olympic diving judges would give me a unanimous 10.0 for that one.”

Sophie: (grinning) “Yeah, I can see why they cast you as the expert fisherman.”

Ethan: (wringing out his shirt) “My dignity, just needed a quick rinse.”

Sophie: (teasing) “Well, let me know if it surfaces again. We might need it for the next scene.”

Ethan: (pretending to be offended) “I’ll have you know, I was voted ‘Most Likely to Stay Dry’ in high school.”

Sophie: (laughing) “And clearly you peaked back then.”

Ethan: (laughing) “Clearly.”

Flirting Scene: Attraction/Flirting

Setting: After rehearsing a romantic scene together, Ethan and Sophie are taking a break by the dock, watching the sunset.

Ethan: (smiling, looking at the water) “You know, if this whole acting thing doesn’t pan out, I’ve got a real future as a fisherman. One fish down, millions to go.”

Sophie: (mock seriousness) “Oh yeah, because flopping into the lake was such a great start.”

Ethan: (leans in slightly) “It got you to laugh, didn’t it?”

Sophie: (meeting his gaze, smiling) “Maybe. But I’m laughing at you, not with you.”

Ethan: (grinning) “That’s progress. At least you’re paying attention.”

Sophie: (playfully nudging him) “You’re impossible.”

Ethan: (holding her gaze, voice softer) “But I’m growing on you, aren’t I?”

Sophie: (teasing) “Like a skin tag.”

Expressions of Love Scene: Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict

Setting: Ethan has organized a grand romantic gesture in the fishing village. The cast and crew are gathered, and Ethan is about to confess his feelings for Sophie in front of everyone.

Ethan: (taking a deep breath, looking at Sophie) “I should've told you this sooner, Sophie. But it's about time you find out for yourself. I'm not perfect. Not even close. I know I’ve messed up, said the wrong things, done the wrong things… and I hurt you.”

Sophie: (softly) “Ethan—”

Ethan: (interrupting, determined) “I have to say this. Because what we had—what we have—it’s not just acting. It’s not just a role. It’s real. You’re real to me. And I… I’m in love with you, Sophie.”

Sophie: (eyes filling with tears, stunned)

Ethan: (taking a step closer) “I’ve been trying to figure out how to show you, how to prove that you mean everything to me. But the truth is, there’s no grand gesture that can do that. It’s just… it’s me, standing here, asking you to give us a chance… um… another chance.”

Sophie: (emotionally) “Ethan… I…”

Ethan: (reaching out to her) “I love you.”

Sophie: (smiling through her tears) “I love you too.”

• This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean's Romance Emotions Part 2

What I learned doing this assignment is… how to embrace the full spectrum of The Force. ;oP

Turning Point (Anger, Doubt):

Scene: Their argument escalates, causing a small fire on set.

Anger: Anger takes over during this scene as their frustrations boil over, both personally and professionally. Ethan’s carefree attitude clashes with Sophie’s professionalism, leading to a heated exchange.

Doubt: After the argument, both Ethan and Sophie are left with lingering doubt—did they push each other too far? Should they even be working together? Beneath their anger is the uncertainty of what’s really going on between them emotionally.

Working Through Issues/Differences (Passion, Love):

Scene: Ethan and Sophie open up to each other about their personal tragedies, leading to a heartfelt conversation by the lake.

Passion: The vulnerability they show here sparks real passion. Their emotional connection intensifies, as they both feel drawn to each other on a deeper level.

Love: This moment of genuine connection starts to transform into the early stirrings of love. They begin to see each other not just as co-stars but as people with real, shared emotions. This love is still unspoken but evident in their newfound closeness.

Plan in Action (Attraction, Passion, Obsession):

Scene: Their on-screen chemistry improves dramatically, catching the attention of the crew.

Attraction: Their attraction is undeniable now, visible in how effortlessly they perform romantic scenes together.

Passion: As the attraction grows, so does the passion—both on and off-screen. Their romantic scenes start to feel too real, and it becomes harder to separate work from genuine emotion.

Obsession: For Ethan (or Sophie), this attraction may develop into obsession—constantly thinking about the other, scrutinizing their interactions, and wondering if their chemistry is real or just part of the role.

Midpoint Turning Point (Jealousy, Obsession):

Scene: The marketing team promotes Ethan and Sophie’s “real-life” romance, blurring the lines between fiction and reality.

Jealousy: Jealousy creeps in as Ethan sees Sophie interact with other people on set, and Sophie wonders if Ethan’s feelings are genuine or just for the cameras. Both feel insecure about where they stand with each other.

Obsession: Their jealousy fuels an even deeper obsession with each other. They begin to overanalyze every glance, every touch, and every conversation, trying to figure out if the other feels the same way.

Act 3: The Conflict and Growth

Rethink Everything (Betrayal, Anger, Yearning):

Scene: After the movie becomes a hit, Ethan tells Sophie that their off-screen romance was just part of the promotion.

Betrayal: Sophie feels a profound sense of betrayal. She thought their connection was real, and hearing that Ethan viewed it as just part of the job devastates her.

Anger: This betrayal quickly morphs into anger, and Sophie lashes out at Ethan, accusing him of playing with her feelings.

Yearning: Beneath the anger, though, Sophie feels a deep yearning for him to prove her wrong—to show that the connection they shared wasn’t just an act.

Hate/Betrayal/All Hope is Lost (Betrayal, Anger):

Scene: Sophie walks away from Ethan after feeling betrayed by his comment about their fake romance.

Betrayal: Sophie’s sense of betrayal reaches its peak here, and she can’t shake the feeling that she was played.

Anger: This anger keeps her from hearing Ethan out or giving him a chance to explain his feelings. She shuts down emotionally, convinced that her heart was wrong to trust him.

New Plan (Passion, Obsession, Yearning):

Scene: After Gwen tells Ethan that Sophie genuinely loves him, Ethan becomes obsessed with winning her back.

Passion: Ethan’s passion for Sophie is reignited—he realizes how much he cares for her and is determined to make things right.

Obsession: This passion quickly turns into obsession, as he starts plotting out a grand romantic gesture to prove his love. He becomes fixated on showing her how much she means to him.

Yearning: His yearning for her fuels his obsession, driving him to go to great lengths to repair their relationship.

Turning Point: Huge Failure / Major Shift (Obsession, Anger, Doubt):

Scene: Ethan’s initial grand gesture fails, leaving him devastated.

Obsession: Ethan’s obsession with getting Sophie back blinds him to the fact that she’s still hurt and not ready to forgive him.

Anger: His obsession turns inward, as he grows angry with himself for not doing more earlier to win her over. He feels like he’s blown his last chance.

Doubt: Sophie, still hurt, feels a mix of doubt and anger. She doubts whether Ethan’s feelings are real and whether she should ever trust him again.

Act 4: The Resolution

Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict (Passion, Love, Yearning):

Scene: Ethan organizes a special event at the fishing village and confesses his love to Sophie in front of the entire cast and crew.

Passion: Ethan’s final confession is driven by passion—he’s raw and open, willing to lay his heart on the line.

Yearning: Sophie, though still guarded, feels the yearning within herself to believe in his words, to accept the possibility of their love.

Love: As Ethan’s heartfelt confession unfolds, the passion and yearning between them transforms into full-fledged love. Sophie realizes that his love is genuine, and her walls finally come down.

Demonstrate the Change (Love):

Scene: Sophie forgives Ethan, and they share a tender moment of reconciliation.

Love: This scene is all about love—not just the romantic, passionate love, but the kind of love that comes from truly understanding and accepting each other. They’ve both changed and grown, and their love is now built on that foundation.

Reunion (Love):

Scene: Ethan and Sophie reunite as a couple, ready to face their future together both on and off-screen.

Love: Their journey has come full circle, and the overwhelming emotion here is love—a love that has been tested and survived. They embrace this love with open hearts, finally secure in their feelings for each other.

• This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean's Romance Emotions Part 1

What I learned doing this assignment is… how to turn a motion picture into an emotion picture. ;oP

Meet-Cute:

Emotion: Attraction / Doubt

When Ethan clumsily falls into the water trying to reel in a fish, Sophie laughs. Despite the awkwardness, there is a spark of attraction that neither wants to admit. Ethan is slightly charmed by her laughter, but doubt immediately follows—both of them internally dismiss the idea that they could be attracted to each other.
Inciting Incident:

Emotion: Doubt

Here, as they start to rehearse scenes together, they feel doubt about the chemistry they are expected to have on screen. Both Ethan and Sophie are unsure if they can work well together, and their off-camera animosity makes them question whether they can pull off a convincing romance.

Attraction/Flirting:

Emotion: Attraction

While bickering off-camera, Ethan and Sophie start sharing inside jokes and develop playful banter. The attraction is evident in how they tease and lightly flirt, even if they don't fully recognize it. This tension adds an interesting dynamic, with attraction bubbling under the surface.

Turning Point:

Emotion: Doubt

The argument that causes the fire on set represents a major doubt in their professional relationship. Both Ethan and Sophie feel unsure about their ability to work together, and this doubt extends into their personal feelings—they are frustrated with each other but also with the undeniable tension between them.

Act 2: The Connection Deepens

New Plan:

Emotion: Yearning > Doubt

As they try to work together to improve their on-screen chemistry, Sophie and Ethan both start feeling a yearning for a genuine connection. However, this yearning quickly turns into doubt—they second-guess their motivations and wonder if their connection is just a result of the film or if it's something deeper.

Working Through Issues/Differences:

Emotion: Desire > Yearning

When they open up to each other about their personal tragedies (Sophie’s loss of a friend and Ethan’s loss of his wife), this vulnerability creates desire—an emotional and perhaps physical desire for each other, driven by the realization that they are more alike than they thought. The desire subtly transitions into yearning, as both of them start to crave a deeper connection, not just as co-stars but as real people.

Plan in Action:

Emotion: Attraction > Desire

As their on-screen chemistry improves, the attraction between them strengthens. However, this attraction gradually builds into desire—a desire for more than just a professional relationship. The lines between their roles and reality begin to blur, as the romantic tension between them grows.

Midpoint Turning Point:

Emotion: Jealousy > Doubt

Once their off-screen "romance" is used to promote the movie, jealousy starts to creep in. Ethan may feel jealous seeing Sophie interact with others on set, while Sophie feels doubt about the authenticity of their relationship. They both wonder if the attraction and chemistry they’re experiencing are just for show or if it’s real

Act 3: The Conflict and Growth

Rethink Everything:

Emotion: Doubt > Yearning

After the movie becomes a hit, Sophie feels betrayed by Ethan’s comment about their “fake” romance. Doubt overwhelms her—doubt about his feelings and doubt about her own. But beneath that doubt is a powerful yearning for Ethan to prove her wrong, to show that the connection they shared wasn’t just an act.

Hate/Betrayal/All Hope is Lost:

Emotion: Betrayal > Doubt

Sophie’s doubt reaches its peak here. She questions everything—whether Ethan ever had real feelings for her, and whether she had been foolish for developing feelings for him. This doubt becomes a block that keeps her from accepting his apologies or believing in their connection.

New Plan:

Emotion: Yearning > Desire

After Gwen tells Ethan that Sophie genuinely loves him, Ethan realizes his own feelings of yearning for Sophie. His desire to make things right grows stronger, pushing him to organize the grand romantic gesture. This yearning transitions into desire—a desire not only to win Sophie back but to be vulnerable and show her his true self.

Turning Point: Huge Failure / Major Shift:

Emotion: Desire > Doubt

When Ethan’s initial grand gesture fails, his desire to make things right turns into doubt—he doubts whether Sophie will ever forgive him or if their connection was ever real. Sophie, too, is torn between desire and doubt, wanting to believe in Ethan’s sincerity but still feeling unsure if she can trust him.

Act 4: The Resolution

Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict:

Emotion: Yearning > Desire

During the final grand gesture at the fishing village, both Sophie and Ethan experience a mix of yearning and desire. Sophie yearns for Ethan to finally prove that his feelings are genuine, while Ethan desires nothing more than to show Sophie how much he truly cares. The tension between the two emotions culminates in a heartfelt confession.

Demonstrate the Change:

Emotion: Desire

As Ethan confesses his love during the special event, desire drives his actions—he desires to make up for his past mistakes and desires to be with Sophie. Sophie, moved by his vulnerability, lets her own desire for love and connection guide her response.

Reunion (Story Breakdown / Yearning):

Emotion: Yearning

As Sophie forgives Ethan, both of them feel a sense of yearning—not just for each other, but for a new beginning together. The yearning transitions into contentment as they embrace and look forward to a future both on and off-screen.

• This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean's Comedy Situations

What I learned from doing this assignment is a refresher of some the skills taught in Sreenwriting U's awesome Comedy Writing Class.

1. Misinterpretation

Scene: While rehearsing a scene, Ethan and Sophie misinterpret their director Max's instructions. Max tells them to "act natural" during a romantic sunset scene by the lake. Ethan, thinking Max meant to loosen up and be themselves, starts telling Sophie a completely unrelated joke in the middle of the scene, causing Sophie to burst out laughing. Max, of course, was referring to the natural flow of their romantic dialogue, not for them to literally be themselves, and he’s hilariously frustrated by how they "ruined" the take.

Dialogue:
Max: "I said act natural!"
Ethan: "I was! That joke kills at every party."
Max: "This isn’t a party! It’s a love scene!"

Topper:

What could make this situation worse?

As Ethan finishes his joke, the crew members who overhear it burst into laughter, completely ruining the romantic ambiance. To make matters worse, Max (the director), already frustrated, angrily tells them to reset the scene. However, when they reset, Ethan accidentally starts telling a different joke instead of the script lines, completely confusing Sophie. When they finally get back on track, Ethan misquotes the script, leading to a cringe-worthy and unintentionally awkward moment.

2. Comedic Surprise

Scene: During a particularly romantic scene where Ethan is supposed to sweep Sophie off her feet and carry her away, he suddenly slips on a stray fish left on the dock from an earlier scene. Instead of gracefully carrying her, Ethan and Sophie both end up flopping into the water. The comedic surprise comes from the fact that this was the moment they were both supposed to finally be "in the zone," but the unexpected mishap makes them laugh uncontrollably, despite their characters' supposed to be in a passionate embrace.

Dialogue:
Ethan: "Looks like I caught the wrong fish!"
Sophie: (giggling) "And here I thought you were supposed to be the expert!"

Topper:

What could make this situation worse?

After they fall into the water, they both scramble to get out, but Sophie’s dress gets caught on Ethan’s fishing rod. In a panic, she yanks on it, causing the fishing rod to swing around and knock over several props, including a bucket of live fish that spills all over the dock. As they try to stand up, the fish are flopping around under their feet, making it impossible to regain their balance. To add insult to injury, a photographer snaps pictures of the entire fiasco, and the images go viral as "the worst romantic scene in movie history."

3. Wildly Inappropriate Response

Scene: In a serious scene where Sophie’s character is confessing her deepest fears to Ethan’s character, Ethan suddenly sneezes loudly in the middle of her monologue. He tries to play it off, but Sophie, staying in character, uses it as an opportunity to ad-lib. She dramatically turns the sneeze into part of the scene, pretending that her character is allergic to love. The director is both impressed and baffled by how they’ve turned a mistake into something that oddly works for the scene.

Dialogue: Sophie: (in character, after the sneeze) "You
see? Even your body rejects the idea of love!"
Ethan: (also in character, sniffing) "Or maybe it’s just your perfume…"

Topper:

What could make this situation worse?

After Sophie incorporates the sneeze into the scene, Ethan tries to stay in character, but his allergies kick in full force. He starts sneezing uncontrollably, making it impossible to deliver his lines. Sophie tries to keep the scene going, but then she starts laughing at how ridiculous the situation is. The director, Max, insists they continue, but Ethan accidentally sneezes on Sophie, causing her to finally break character in a mix of disgust and laughter. As a final blow, the crew runs out of tissues, leaving Ethan to deal with his allergy fit while everyone else helplessly watches.

4. Forced Union of Incompatibles

Scene: As part of a promotional event for the movie, the cast is forced to participate in a "Fish & Love Festival" at the fishing village. Ethan and Sophie are paired together for a competitive fish gutting contest, which neither of them knows how to do. Their bickering turns into a slapstick routine as they accidentally fling fish guts everywhere, including on each other. The event is a complete disaster, but the crowd loves it, much to Ethan and Sophie’s chagrin.

Dialogue:
Sophie: "This isn’t in my contract!"
Ethan: "It wasn’t in mine either, but here we are, covered in fish guts… again."

Topper:

What could make this situation worse?

As they struggle to gut the fish, Sophie accidentally flicks fish guts onto the festival’s celebrity guest—a famous food critic who was supposed to judge the event. The critic, horrified, slips on the guts and crashes into the festival’s prize display, sending the grand prize trophy flying into the lake. The event organizers panic, and they blame Ethan and Sophie for ruining the festival. To make things worse, the critic is furious and vows to write a scathing review, not just of the festival, but of the entire movie they're promoting.

5. Embarrassment

Scene: During a scene where Ethan is supposed to serenade Sophie on a boat, he tries to impress her by actually playing the guitar himself. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know how to play, and his attempt is so bad that Sophie can’t keep a straight face. The boat, rocking gently in the water, suddenly starts to tip over as Ethan tries to save face and show off, leading to both of them falling into the lake. The crew has to pause filming to fish them out, and the whole cast ends up laughing at Ethan’s failed attempt at musicianship.

Dialogue:
Sophie: "I didn’t know you were tone-deaf."
Ethan: "I’m not! The boat’s just throwing off my rhythm!"

Topper:

What could make this situation worse?

After they fall into the lake, they try to swim back to the boat, but the boat begins to drift away. As they struggle to reach it, they realize the water is shallow, and they’ve been flailing around unnecessarily. Embarrassed, they wade back to shore, only to find that the entire cast and crew have been filming their blunder the whole time, capturing every embarrassing moment. To top it all off, the footage accidentally gets uploaded to the movie's official social media accounts, making their unintentional "serenade fail" a viral sensation.

6. Comedic Tragedy

Scene: A particularly emotional scene requires Ethan to finally confess his character’s love for Sophie’s character. However, just as he’s about to deliver his line, the fishing boat they’re on begins to sink due to an unnoticed leak. The boat sinking is slow but inevitable, and they try to stay in character as long as possible, but eventually, water starts sloshing over the edge, and Ethan’s dramatic line, "I love you more than the sea itself!" is interrupted by the boat capsizing. The scene ends with them clinging to the overturned boat, completely soaked, with the crew frantically trying to rescue them.

Dialogue:
Ethan: (clinging to the boat) "This wasn’t the drowning in love I had in mind!"
Sophie: "Well, at least it was memorable."

Topper:

What could make this situation worse?

As the boat sinks, they realize they forgot to bring life jackets. Ethan, in a panic, tries to use the script pages as makeshift paddles, which, of course, doesn’t work. Sophie, trying to lighten the mood, starts joking about their "sinking relationship," but Ethan accidentally drops the only working radio into the water, cutting off their communication with the crew. Just when they think things can’t get worse, a swarm of mosquitoes descends on them, attracted by the still water. They’re forced to choose between staying on the sinking boat or jumping into the mosquito-infested water. The director, watching from the shore, decides to keep filming, declaring that the sinking boat is "symbolic" and might actually work for the movie—completely missing the point that they’re in genuine danger.

Additional Ideas

Fishing Trip Disaster: As part of getting into character, Ethan and Sophie are sent on a real fishing trip together to bond. Neither of them knows what they’re doing, leading to a series of slapstick mishaps: tangled fishing lines, accidentally catching each other’s hats, and even Ethan somehow falling overboard when he finally catches a fish that’s too strong for him.

Mishap with Props: During a scene that involves casting a fishing line, Ethan accidentally hooks Sophie’s hat, which flies off into the lake. Sophie, staying in character, improvises by saying something like, "I guess that’s why they call it a hook, line, and sinker," much to the director’s dismay, but it turns into a running joke throughout the film.

Unintended Pyrotechnics: In a dramatic love confession scene at night, the director decides to add some fireworks in the background for effect. However, the fireworks go off too early, and instead of a romantic backdrop, the characters are ducking for cover from the misfired pyrotechnics. Ethan, in a panic, shouts, "I love you! Now get down!" as they take cover, ruining the serious tone but making for a hilarious outtake.

• This reply was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Wrong chat. My bad!

• This reply was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.
• This reply was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean's Plot

What I learned from this assignment is to combine the trifecta of the different elements we have into one coherent story TRI-umphantly. ;oP

Act 1: The Beginning of the Journey

Opening (Story Breakdown):

Initial State (Sophie’s Transformational Journey):

Sophie Taylor is a talented actress frustrated with her career, feeling stuck in a cycle of mediocre romantic comedies. She’s professional but cynical about romance, both on-screen and off.

Initial State (Ethan’s Transformational Journey):

Ethan Blake is a once-famous actor now struggling to find meaningful roles. He is charming on-screen but jaded and cynical off-screen, taking the role in the romantic comedy purely for financial reasons.

Meet-Cute (7 Stages of Love):

On their first day on set, Ethan and Sophie are introduced and exchange forced pleasantries. They are filming their first scene together in a quaint fishing village during Arbor Day. Ethan, trying to impress the crew, clumsily falls into the water while attempting to reel in a fish. Sophie can’t help but laugh, and they share a moment of genuine amusement despite their initial animosity.

Inciting Incident (Story Breakdown):

Ethan and Sophie both reluctantly accepted their roles for different reasons. As they rehearse more scenes together, they start to share inside jokes and playful banter. During a break, they find themselves sitting by the dock, talking about their favorite movies and past roles.

Attraction/Flirting (7 Stages of Love):

Despite their growing attraction, both Ethan and Sophie refuse to acknowledge their feelings. They convince themselves that any chemistry they have is purely for the movie. They continue to bicker off-camera, maintaining a facade of disinterest.

Turning Point (Story Breakdown):

Ethan and Sophie have an argument that gets way out of hand, resulting in a small fire on set (perhaps caused by a mishap with the lighting equipment during a night fishing scene). The fire is quickly extinguished, but the damage is done. Furious, Max fires Ethan on the spot.

Separation/Forced Together (7 Stages of Love):

Sophie, however, stands up for Ethan, declaring that if he’s fired, she’ll leave too. Max, not wanting to lose his lead actress, reluctantly gives them both one more chance after they both beg and promise to behave. Now, forced to spend even more time together, Ethan and Sophie decide to put aside their differences and focus on making the movie a success.

Act 2: The Connection Deepens

New Plan (Story Breakdown):

Determined to make the best of their situation, Ethan and Sophie decide to put aside their differences and focus on making the movie a success. They work together to improve their on-screen chemistry and start rehearsing their scenes more diligently.

Working Through Issues/Differences (7 Stages of Love):

As they spend more time together, Ethan and Sophie start to share personal stories. During a particularly challenging scene set by the lake, Ethan asks Sophie which experiences in her life she drew upon to portray an emotional scene so vividly. Sophie opens up about losing a close friend in a car crash. In turn, when she asks Ethan the same question, he shares about losing his wife to cancer. This moment of vulnerability marks the beginning of a shift in their relationship, as they start to see each other in a new light, and their off-screen relationship begins to soften.

Plan in Action (Story Breakdown):

Their improved on-screen chemistry catches the attention of the crew and the marketing team. The marketing team seizes on Ethan and Sophie’s apparent off-screen romance to promote the movie. Their supposed real-life love story becomes a media sensation, blurring the lines between reality and fiction even further.

Midpoint Turning Point (Story Breakdown):

After the movie hits number one at the box office, Ethan tells Sophie that her acting was phenomenal and very convincing, but he was referring to their off-screen “romance” used for marketing. Sophie, thinking their connection was real, feels deeply betrayed and storms off in tears.

Act 3: The Conflict and Growth

Rethink Everything (Story Breakdown):

After the movie hits number one at the box office, Ethan tells Sophie that her acting was phenomenal and very convincing, but he was referring to their off-screen “romance” used for marketing. Sophie, thinking their connection was real, feels deeply betrayed and storms off in tears.

Hate/Betrayal/All Hope is Lost (7 Stages of Love):

Sophie, devastated by the realization that Ethan thought their off-screen connection was just an act, walks away in tears.

Major Conflict/Obstacle (Sophie’s Transformational Journey):

After the movie becomes a hit, Ethan’s comment about their “fake” romance for marketing purposes devastates Sophie, who had started to develop real feelings. She feels betrayed and walks away in tears.

Major Conflict/Obstacle (Ethan’s Transformational Journey):

Ethan’s comment about their “fake” romance for marketing purposes leads Sophie to believe he never had genuine feelings for her. This misunderstanding causes a painful rift between them.

Self-Reflection (Sophie’s Transformational Journey):

Sophie reflects on her feelings and realizes she had been too guarded, letting her frustrations with her career prevent her from seeing the genuine connection she had with Ethan.

Self-Reflection (Ethan’s Transformational Journey):

Ethan realizes that he had been hiding his true feelings out of fear and insecurity. He reflects on his past losses and understands that he has been using cynicism as a shield.

New Plan (Story Breakdown):

Gwen, the screenwriter, overhears the entire conversation and tells Ethan that Sophie genuinely loves him. Ethan, now realizing his mistake, asks Gwen if she can write a way for him to win Sophie back. Gwen, initially offended by his earlier comment, reluctantly agrees to help.

Acceptance and Growth (Sophie’s Transformational Journey):

Sophie decides to give love a chance despite her fears and frustrations. She opens her heart to the possibility that Ethan’s feelings might be genuine.

Acceptance and Growth (Ethan’s Transformational Journey):

Ethan decides to be honest and vulnerable about his feelings. He understands that he needs to show Sophie his true self and earn her trust.

Turning Point: Huge Failure / Major Shift (Story Breakdown):

Ethan, following Gwen’s advice, makes a grand romantic gesture on set, recreating the cheesiest scene from their movie but adding his sincere feelings. However, Sophie is initially too hurt to accept his apology and walks away, leaving Ethan devastated.

Act 4: The Resolution

Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict (Story Breakdown):

Ethan doesn’t give up. He plans one final, heartfelt gesture. He organizes a special event at the fishing village where the movie was filmed, inviting the entire cast and crew. He gives a heartfelt speech, confessing his true feelings for Sophie and acknowledging his mistake.

Demonstrate the Change (Sophie’s Transformational Journey):

When Ethan makes his grand romantic gesture at the fishing village, Sophie listens to him with an open heart. She recognizes his sincerity and forgives him.

Demonstrate the Change (Ethan’s Transformational Journey):

Ethan organizes a special event at the fishing village, recreating a scene from their movie with genuine, heartfelt additions. He publicly confesses his love for Sophie and acknowledges his mistakes.

Love Happens (7 Stages of Love):

Sophie and Ethan reunite, acknowledging their growth and the genuine connection they’ve developed. They share a heartfelt kiss, united by their mutual growth and newfound love.

Reunion (Sophie’s Transformational Journey):

Sophie and Ethan reunite, acknowledging their growth and the genuine connection they’ve developed. They embrace, ready to face the future together both on and off-screen.

Reunion (Ethan’s Transformational Journey):

Sophie, moved by Ethan’s persistence and genuine apology, forgives him. They share a heartfelt kiss, united by their mutual growth and newfound love.

Resolution (Story Breakdown):

Sophie, moved by Ethan’s persistence and genuine apology, forgives him. They share a heartfelt kiss, this time knowing their love is real. The scene fades as they hold hands, surrounded by the supportive cast and crew.

Closing Shot (Story Breakdown):

The camera pans out, showing the bustling movie set with crew members and extras preparing for the next scene of their new movie together, a cheesy romantic comedy about a bakery about to go bankrupt on Flag Day. Ethan and Sophie, now a real-life couple, are at the center, smiling and happy. They exchange a look of genuine affection, and the scene fades to black with the sound of a clapperboard signaling the start of another take.

• This reply was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean’s Her Journey / His Journey

What I learned from this is assignment is the best way to make a famous actress fall in love with you is to spill orange juice on her. And all this time, I'd been thinking I have to spill coffee! ;oP Make sure each of the leads has his or her own transformational journey. And when all else fails, spill the juice! ;oP

Sophie’s Transformational Journey:

1. Initial state: Sophie Taylor is a talented actress frustrated with her career, feeling stuck in a cycle of mediocre romantic comedies. She’s professional but yearns for more meaningful roles and is somewhat cynical about romance, both on-screen and off.

2. Meet-Cute moment: On their first day on set, Ethan clumsily falls into the water while trying to reel in a fish. Sophie laughs, and they share a genuine moment of amusement despite their initial animosity.

3. Initial challenges: Sophie’s professionalism clashes with Ethan’s cavalier attitude. She is annoyed by his antics and sees him as another obstacle in her already frustrating career.

4. Major conflict / Obstacle: After the movie becomes a hit, Ethan’s comment about their “fake” romance for marketing purposes devastates Sophie, who had started to develop real feelings. She feels betrayed and walks away in tears.

5. Self-Reflection: Sophie reflects on her feelings and realizes she had been too guarded, letting her frustrations with her career prevent her from seeing the genuine connection she had with Ethan.

6. Acceptance and Growth: Sophie decides to give love a chance despite her fears and frustrations. She opens her heart to the possibility that Ethan’s feelings might be genuine.

7. Demonstrate the change: When Ethan makes his grand romantic gesture at the fishing village, Sophie listens to him with an open heart. She recognizes his sincerity and forgives him.

8. Reunion: Sophie and Ethan reunite, acknowledging their growth and the genuine connection they’ve developed. They embrace, ready to face the future together both on and off-screen.

Ethan’s Transformational Journey:

1. Initial state: Ethan Blake is a once-famous actor now struggling to find meaningful roles. He is charming on-screen but jaded and cynical off-screen, taking the role in the romantic comedy purely for financial reasons.

2. Meet-Cute moment: On their first day on set, Ethan clumsily falls into the water while trying to reel in a fish. Sophie laughs, and they share a genuine moment of amusement despite their initial animosity.

3. Initial challenges: Ethan’s nonchalant attitude and his initial lack of respect for the project and Sophie’s dedication create tension between them. He often masks his insecurity with humor and bravado.

4. Major conflict / Obstacle: After the movie’s success, Ethan’s comment about their “fake” romance for marketing purposes leads Sophie to believe he never had genuine feelings for her. This misunderstanding causes a painful rift between them.

5. Self-Reflection: Ethan realizes that he had been hiding his true feelings out of fear and insecurity. He reflects on his past losses and understands that he has been using cynicism as a shield.

6. Acceptance and Growth: Ethan decides to be honest and vulnerable about his feelings. He understands that he needs to show Sophie his true self and earn her trust.

7. Demonstrate the change: Ethan organizes a special event at the fishing village, recreating a scene from their movie with genuine, heartfelt additions. He publicly confesses his love for Sophie and acknowledges his mistakes.

8. Reunion: Sophie, moved by Ethan’s persistence and genuine apology, forgives him. They share a heartfelt kiss, united by their mutual growth and newfound love.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean’s Budget

What I learned from this assignment is to consider costs when creating scenes. And that I have extravagant tastes. ;oP

The goal for either version is 90 pages.

For the budget version, I would eliminate the falling brick tower which destroys the “safe” house. (That destruction caused by that tower can be replaced by explosives.) And figure out to have everything take place in that one location. So no fun scene at the building across the street and no going after the bad guy at his compound. No fun getaway to Alaska.

For the more expensive version, keep everything as is! Leave in the fun intro scene. The falling tower. Visit the bad guy's compound with it being destroyed. Cute scene in Alaska where the couple escapes to hide away and enjoy the northern lights. Plus, that closing bit with the owner of the brick tower coming after his employees whom he left in charge.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean Writes Great Hope/Fear!

What I learned from this assignment is the importance of playing ping pong with the audience's expectations and emotions.

Act 1: Opening

Opening

1. HOPE: Lena meets with her contact who provides her with crucial information and a burner phone to contact Carter, suggesting a plan for her protection.

2. FEAR: Lena is pursued by shadowy figures through the city streets, highlighting the immediate danger she's in.

3. HOPE: Carter and his team arrive just in time to rescue Lena, ensuring her safety for the moment.

4. FEAR: As they reach the safehouse, Lena notices strange behavior from some agents, sowing seeds of distrust.

5. HOPE: Carter shows Lena the advanced security setup at the safehouse, reassuring her of her safety.
Inciting Incident

6. FEAR: An assassination attempt inside the safehouse, revealing the presence of an internal threat.

7. HOPE: The team manages to thwart the attempt, temporarily securing the safehouse.

8. FEAR: The realization that someone within the team is compromised creates paranoia and fear.

9. HOPE: Carter and Lena decide to uncover the mole, creating a proactive plan to address the threat.

10. FEAR: The discovery of tampered surveillance equipment indicates that the safehouse has been compromised more deeply than they thought.

Act 2: New Plan

New Plan

1. HOPE: Carter and Lena set up a plan to uncover the mole, giving them a sense of direction and control.

2. FEAR: The lights flicker and strange noises are heard, indicating that the attackers are closing in and increasing tension.

3. HOPE: Lena and Carter find hidden defenses in the safehouse, giving them more resources to work with.

4. FEAR: Booby traps set by the mole result in an injury to one of the agents, increasing the sense of danger.

5. HOPE: They discover clues pointing to the mole's identity, bringing them closer to resolving the internal threat.

Plan in Action

6. FEAR: The mole, Miller, realizes they are onto him and sabotages the safehouse’s defenses, putting everyone at greater risk.

7. HOPE: Carter and Lena manage to secure a section of the safehouse, creating a temporary safe zone.

8. FEAR: Miller escapes and coordinates an external attack on the safehouse, amplifying the danger.

9. HOPE: Lena uses her knowledge of the syndicate’s tactics to set traps for the attackers, giving them a fighting chance.

10. FEAR: The attackers breach the perimeter, leading to intense firefights and heightened stakes.

Midpoint Turning Point

1. HOPE: Carter reveals to Lena the secret tunnel, providing a potential escape route.

2. FEAR: The syndicate rigs the tall chimney to collapse, threatening to destroy the safehouse completely.

3. HOPE: Carter leads Lena through the secret tunnel just as the chimney collapses, narrowly escaping death.

4. FEAR: The collapse blocks their escape route, trapping them temporarily in the tunnel.

5. HOPE: They manage to find an alternate exit, emerging safely into the woods and evading immediate danger.

Act 3: Rethink Everything

Rethink Everything

1. HOPE: Believing they are presumed dead, Lena and Carter have a moment of relief and the chance to regroup.

2. FEAR: Carter receives a message revealing that the syndicate has deeper infiltration within the government, escalating the threat level.

3. HOPE: They devise a new plan to use Lena as bait to draw out the syndicate leadership, aiming for a decisive strike.

4. FEAR: Lena doubts Carter’s loyalty, fearing another betrayal and feeling isolated.

5. HOPE: Carter convinces Lena of his true intentions, solidifying their partnership and commitment to the plan.

New Plan

6. FEAR: As they approach the syndicate compound, they encounter heightened security and increased risks.

7. HOPE: Lena's inside knowledge allows them to bypass some of the security measures, giving them a tactical advantage.

8. FEAR: Inside the compound, they realize the extent of the syndicate’s power and the number of operatives.

9. HOPE: Carter and Lena manage to plant explosives throughout the compound, setting the stage for their plan.

10. FEAR: They are discovered before they can finish, leading to a tense confrontation and capture.

Turning Point: Huge Failure / Major Shift

1. HOPE: Carter seemingly betrays Lena to gain The Boss’s trust, positioning himself for a crucial moment.

2. FEAR: The Boss demands that Carter kill Lena in front of him to prove his loyalty, creating a life-or-death situation.

3. HOPE: Carter reveals his true plan, using a fake flash drive to deceive The Boss and taking a critical shot.

4. FEAR: The compound goes into lockdown, and they are surrounded by syndicate operatives.

5. HOPE: Carter and Lena trigger the explosives, creating chaos and an opportunity to escape.

Act 4: Final Plan

Final Plan

1. HOPE: The explosives severely damage the compound, giving Lena and Carter a chance to fight their way out.

2. FEAR: Syndicate reinforcements arrive, intensifying the conflict and narrowing their escape options.

3. HOPE: They find a hidden vehicle and make a daring escape from the compound.

4. FEAR: They are pursued by syndicate operatives, leading to a high-stakes chase.

5. HOPE: Lena uses her knowledge to outmaneuver the pursuers, gaining a temporary reprieve.

Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict

6. FEAR: They encounter a final roadblock, with The Boss’s top enforcers closing in for a final confrontation.

7. HOPE: Carter and Lena use their combined skills and remaining resources to defeat the enforcers in a climactic battle.

8. FEAR: The Boss, gravely injured but not dead, makes a last-ditch effort to kill Lena.

9. HOPE: Carter and Lena work together to deliver the final blow, ensuring The Boss is defeated for good.

10. FEAR: They realize the syndicate’s network is extensive, and more battles lie ahead.

Resolution

1. HOPE: Lena and Carter watch the syndicate compound burn, symbolizing their victory and the collapse of the immediate threat. Realizing that everyone thinks they're dead, they run away to Alaska to live off the grid.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean's 4-Act Structure

What I learned from this assignment is that an alien faceplanting you never ends well for anyone. ;oP

What I learned is using structure as the skeleton upon which to flesh out the story.

Concept:

“Danger House” is a high-stakes thriller about an informant and her protector navigating a deadly night in a compromised safehouse while uncovering deeper conspiracies within a powerful crime syndicate and the government.

Main Conflict:

Lena must stay alive and protect crucial information from a relentless crime syndicate while dealing with internal betrayals and navigating a complex web of deceit.

Act 1:

Opening: Lena’s rescue and safehouse arrival.

Inciting Incident: First assassination attempt revealing internal threat.

Turning Point: Discovery of syndicate’s surveillance within the safehouse.

Act 2:

New Plan: Uncover the mole and defend against increasing threats.

Plan in Action: Lena and Carter’s investigation, leading to the discovery of Miller’s coercion.

Midpoint Turning Point: Revelation of the safehouse’s true purpose and the greater threat.

Act 3:

Rethink Everything: Realization of the syndicate’s larger plan and government infiltration.

New Plan: Carter’s apparent betrayal to gain The Boss’s trust.

Turning Point: Huge Failure / Major Shift: Carter’s true mission revealed, leading to the climax.

Act 4:

Final Plan: Infiltrate the syndicate compound and set explosives.

Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict: Confrontation with The Boss and the explosive finale.

Resolution: Destruction of the syndicate compound and since everyone thinks they’re dead anyway, Lena and Carter’s go away together.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean's Delivering Multiple Layers

What I learned from this lesson is that Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time! What?! ;oP

What I learned is that adding layers to the elements of the story adds layers of intrigue and fun for the audience's experience!

Plot Layers

1. Major Scheme Revealed

Surface Layer:

The syndicate wants to eliminate Lena to protect their operations.

Beneath That:

The syndicate’s ultimate goal is to collapse the entire witness protection program, sending a message that no one can escape their reach.

How Revealed:

Lena and Carter discover encrypted messages and documents detailing coordinated attacks on multiple safehouses, revealing the broader scheme.

2. Mystery Revealed

Surface Layer:

Carter appears to be a dedicated agent committed to protecting Lena.

Beneath That:

Carter has been working both sides to gather enough evidence to bring down the syndicate from within.

How Revealed:

Carter intentionally leads Lena to a hidden cache of evidence he’s been compiling, explaining his true motives and actions.

3. Thought it was One Thing, but it is Another

Surface Layer:

The safehouse is perceived as a secure hideout for Lena.

Beneath That:

The safehouse is a strategic trap set by the syndicate to lure out informants and their protectors.

How Revealed:

Hidden sections of the safehouse containing surveillance equipment are discovered, indicating it was designed to monitor and report movements to the syndicate.

4. Major Shift in Meaning

Surface Layer:

The syndicate appears to be a standalone criminal organization.

Beneath That:

The syndicate is part of a larger, more dangerous international criminal network.

How Revealed:

A captured syndicate member hints at a "greater power" that ensures their downfall even if the syndicate fails, leading to the discovery of the global network.

5. Hidden History

Surface Layer:

The safehouse is a remote, secure location for protecting witnesses.

Beneath That:

It was previously a syndicate stronghold and has historical significance as a resistance site.

How Revealed:

Old blueprints, documents, and personal stories reveal its past, linking it to Lena’s family and past syndicate operations.

6. Hidden Plan

Surface Layer:

Carter’s mission is to protect Lena and the information she carries.

Beneath That:

Carter’s true mission is to use Lena as bait to draw out the entire syndicate leadership.

How Revealed:

Carter explains his strategy to Lena during a critical moment, showing her the risks and the bigger picture.

Character Layers

Lena

Surface Layer:

Lena is an informant with crucial information against the syndicate.

Beneath That:

She was once a high-ranking member of the syndicate, with deep connections and personal stakes.

How Revealed:

Flashbacks and interactions with characters from her past gradually reveal her deeper involvement and motivations.

Agent Carter

Surface Layer:

Carter is a federal agent dedicated to protecting Lena.

Beneath That:

He is working as a double agent, gathering evidence against the syndicate while maintaining his cover.

How Revealed:

Strategic decisions and hidden evidence he leads Lena to uncover his true role and intentions.

Agent Miller

Surface Layer:

Miller is a loyal federal agent on Carter’s team.

Beneath That:

He is being blackmailed by the syndicate, forced to provide inside information.

How Revealed:

Intercepted communications and a desperate confession during a confrontation reveal his coercion and internal conflict.

The Boss

Surface Layer:

The Boss is the ruthless leader of the syndicate.

Beneath That:

He is also a high-ranking government official, using his position to shield the syndicate’s activities.

How Revealed:

Investigation and uncovered documents during the climax reveal his dual identity and extensive control.

Location Layers

Safehouse

Surface Layer:

A secure hideout for protecting Lena.

Beneath That:

Contains hidden surveillance rooms, an underground armory, and was previously a syndicate stronghold.

How Revealed:

Exploration and hidden panels discovered by Lena and Carter during moments of tension and investigation.

Syndicate Compound

Surface Layer:

The main headquarters of the syndicate.

Beneath That:

Includes a command center, interrogation rooms, and an underground network of bunkers.

How Revealed:

Lena and Carter infiltrate the compound, discovering the hidden facilities and the scale of the operation during their escape.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.
• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean's Character Journeys!

What I learned from this assignment is how to make each character the “star” of his or her own story.

Lena's Journey

Act 1: Beginning

Beginning: Lena, an informant with crucial information against a powerful crime syndicate, is rescued by Agent Carter and taken
to a remote safehouse for protection.

Turning Point: An assassination attempt inside the safehouse reveals that someone within the team is compromised, forcing Lena to realize that the danger is closer than she thought.

Act 2: Midpoint

Midpoint: Lena and Carter discover that Agent Miller is the mole. This revelation heightens the stakes and creates tension within the safehouse.

Turning Point 2: Lena and Carter are forced to escape through a secret tunnel as the safehouse is destroyed by a falling chimney, orchestrated by the syndicate. They emerge into the woods, believing they are now presumed dead.

Act 3: Dilemma, Climax, and Ending

Dilemma: Lena must decide whether to run away and start a new life or continue her dangerous quest to testify against the syndicate.

3rd Act Climax: Carter seemingly betrays Lena by handing her over to the syndicate, but then reveals his true plan by tricking The Boss and killing him.

Ending: Lena and Carter set explosives throughout the syndicate compound and escape as it explodes. With everyone thinking they're dead, Lena and Carter run away together.

Agent Carter's Journey

Act 1: Beginning

Beginning: Agent Carter, a rugged and stoic federal agent, is tasked with protecting Lena and takes her to a remote safehouse.

Turning Point: An assassination attempt inside the safehouse reveals internal betrayal, making Carter realize that he needs to be more cautious and strategic.

Act 2: Midpoint

Midpoint: Carter discovers that Agent Miller is the mole and locks him in the control room. This forces Carter to trust his instincts and rely on his training.

Turning Point 2: Carter leads Lena through a secret tunnel to escape the safehouse's destruction, showcasing his resourcefulness and foresight.

Act 3: Dilemma, Climax, and Ending

Dilemma: Carter must decide whether to fully betray Lena for personal gain or to find redemption by truly protecting her.

3rd Act Climax: Carter seemingly betrays Lena by delivering her to the syndicate, but then reveals his true plan by tricking The Boss and killing him.

Ending: Carter helps Lena set explosives throughout the syndicate compound. They watch the compound explode. With everyone thinking they're dead, Lena and Carter run away together.

Agent Miller's Journey

Act 1: Beginning

Beginning: Agent Miller, appearing to be a loyal federal agent, is secretly compromised by the syndicate and tasked with sabotaging the safehouse from within.

Turning Point: An assassination attempt inside the safehouse exposes Miller’s secret activities and creates suspicion among the agents.

Act 2: Midpoint

Midpoint: Miller's identity as the mole is discovered by Lena and Carter. He manages to escape, leaving Lena and Carter locked in the control room.

Turning Point 2: Miller coordinates an external attack on the safehouse, demonstrating his deep entanglement with the syndicate.

Act 3: Dilemma, Climax, and Ending

Dilemma: Miller is torn between his coerced duty to the syndicate and his fading sense of duty to his colleagues.

3rd Act Climax: Miller is ultimately overpowered by Carter in a brutal hand-to-hand fight during the final assault on the safehouse.

Ending: Miller’s betrayal is fully exposed, and his actions lead to the syndicate’s temporary victory with the destruction of the safehouse.

The Boss's Journey

Act 1: Beginning

Beginning: The Boss, the ruthless leader of the syndicate, orchestrates the hunt for Lena to prevent her from testifying and exposing their operations.

Turning Point: The Boss's influence and reach are evident as his agents infiltrate the federal team and launch multiple attacks on the safehouse.

Act 2: Midpoint

Midpoint: The Boss manipulates his compromised agents, including Carter, to deliver Lena and the flash drive, tightening his grip on the situation.

Turning Point 2: The Boss believes he has won when Carter delivers Lena and the flash drive to him, preparing to eliminate Lena in front of his subordinates.

Act 3: Dilemma, Climax, and Ending

Dilemma: The Boss must decide how to deal with Carter's proposition of delivering the flash drive and eliminating Lena, showing his paranoia and need for control.

3rd Act Climax: The Boss is tricked by Carter with a fake flash drive and is killed by Carter in a dramatic confrontation.

Ending: The Boss's death leads to the syndicate's compound being destroyed, symbolizing the fall of his control and the temporary victory of Lena and Carter.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean's Character Depth

What I learned doing this assignment is how to turn characters into onions! (Add layers.)

1. Lena

Internal Character Depth:

Motivation: Lena's primary motivation is to bring down the syndicate responsible for widespread corruption and violence. She turned informant after witnessing the syndicate's brutal actions, driven by a desire for justice and to protect innocent lives.

Secret: Lena has a deeper connection to the syndicate than she initially reveals. She was once closely involved in their operations, which gives her valuable inside knowledge.

Wound: Lena carries the emotional scars of losing loved ones to the syndicate's violence. This loss fuels her determination but also her guilt for her past involvement.

Subtext: Lena's interactions often carry an undercurrent of regret and determination. She’s constantly fighting her own guilt while pushing forward to make amends.

Layers: Lena is a mix of strength and vulnerability. She is resourceful, intelligent, and brave, but also haunted by her past and the fear that she might not be able to escape it.

Character to Character Dynamics:

Conflict: Lena struggles with trusting Carter and the other agents, especially after discovering the mole.

Hidden Agenda: Initially, she hides her deeper involvement with the syndicate, fearing judgment and mistrust from the agents.

Conspiracy: Lena is aware that there might be multiple layers of betrayal within the team, adding to her paranoia.

Intrigue: Her extensive knowledge of the syndicate's inner workings makes her a valuable but dangerous asset.

Character Situation:

Dilemma: Lena must decide whether to run away and start a new life or continue her dangerous quest to testify against the syndicate.

Secret Identity: Lena was a high-ranking member of the syndicate before turning informant, a fact she keeps hidden to protect herself and ensure the agents' trust.

2. Agent Carter

Internal Character Depth:

Motivation: Carter is motivated by a complex mix of duty to protect Lena and a personal desire for survival and success. His ulterior motive includes a hidden agenda related to the syndicate.

Secret: Carter has been working with the syndicate to some extent, driven by promises of personal gain and survival.

Wound: Carter has seen many of his colleagues fall prey to corruption or death, making him cynical and pragmatic.

Subtext: Carter's tough exterior hides a conflicted conscience. His interactions often have double meanings, reflecting his hidden loyalty to the syndicate and his sense of duty.

Layers: Carter is a layered character torn between his professional responsibilities, personal ambitions, and hidden affiliations. He presents as dependable and stoic but is internally conflicted and compromised.

Character to Character Dynamics:

Conflict: Carter’s loyalty is split between his duty to protect Lena and his secret dealings with the syndicate.

Hidden Agenda: He aims to gain valuable information from Lena to use as leverage with the syndicate.

Conspiracy: Carter is deeply entangled in the syndicate's web, using his position to serve their interests while maintaining his cover.

Intrigue: His dual role creates a constant tension, making his true intentions a subject of ongoing suspicion and intrigue.

Character Situation:

Dilemma: Carter faces the moral and practical dilemma of whether to fully betray Lena for his gain or to find redemption by truly protecting her.

Secret Identity: While outwardly a loyal federal agent, Carter secretly collaborates with the syndicate, balancing his double life precariously.

3. Agent Miller

Internal Character Depth:

Motivation: Miller is driven by fear and coercion. The syndicate has something on him, forcing his hand.

Secret: Miller has been feeding information to the syndicate, hoping to protect himself and possibly his family.

Wound: Miller is haunted by his inability to protect his loved ones from the syndicate’s influence.

Subtext: His actions are a mix of genuine fear and reluctant betrayal. His every move is calculated to survive without completely losing his integrity.

Layers: Miller is a blend of desperation and cunning. He appears cooperative and loyal but is constantly on edge, hiding his true allegiance.

Character to Character Dynamics:

Conflict: Miller’s duplicity creates tension with other agents, especially as his actions come under scrutiny.

Hidden Agenda: He aims to sabotage the safehouse operations from within while maintaining his cover.

Conspiracy: Miller is a key player in the syndicate's plan to eliminate Lena, working from the inside.

Intrigue: His ability to deceive creates a constant undercurrent of tension and uncertainty.

Character Situation:

Dilemma: Miller is torn between his coerced duty to the syndicate and his fading sense of duty to his colleagues.

Secret Identity: While posing as a loyal federal agent, Miller is secretly compromised and working for the syndicate under duress.

4. The Boss (Syndicate Leader)

Internal Character Depth:

Motivation: The Boss is driven by power and control, seeking to eliminate any threats to his syndicate.

Secret: The Boss has infiltrated many levels of law enforcement, using moles and compromised agents to maintain his grip.

Wound: Despite his power, the Boss is paranoid, always fearing betrayal and losing control.

Subtext: His interactions are laced with menace and manipulation, always seeking to dominate and intimidate.

Layers: The Boss is both charismatic and ruthless, commanding loyalty through fear and rewards.

Character to Character Dynamics:

Conflict: The Boss sees Lena as a significant threat and is determined to eliminate her.

Hidden Agenda: He plans to use compromised agents to ensure his continued dominance and eliminate all opposition.

Conspiracy: The Boss orchestrates a complex web of corruption and betrayal, controlling key players on both sides.

Intrigue: His influence and reach create an ever-present threat, with layers of deception and control.

Character Situation:

Dilemma: The Boss must balance his visible power with the hidden vulnerabilities of his operations being exposed.

Secret Identity: He is the mastermind behind the syndicate, often using aliases and maintaining a low profile to avoid direct exposure.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean’s 7 Stages of Love

What I learned doing this assignment is to incorporate the expected in unexpected ways.

1. Meet-Cute

Ethan and Sophie are introduced on the set of their romantic comedy, which is set in a quaint fishing village. They are filming their first scene together by the lake. Ethan, trying to impress the crew, clumsily falls into the water while attempting to reel in a fish. Sophie can’t help but laugh, and they share a moment of genuine amusement.

2. Attraction/Flirting

As they rehearse more scenes together, Ethan and Sophie start to share inside jokes and playful banter. During a break, they find themselves sitting by the dock, talking about their favorite movies and past roles.

3. Denial

Despite their growing attraction, both Ethan and Sophie refuse to acknowledge their feelings. They convince themselves that any chemistry they have is purely for the movie. They continue to bicker off-camera, maintaining a facade of disinterest.

4. Separation/Forced Together

After the argument that leads to the fire on set, Ethan is fired by the director. Sophie, however, stands up for him and threatens to leave if Ethan is not rehired. Reluctantly, the director allows them both to stay, forcing Ethan and Sophie to spend even more time together to smooth things over.

5. Working through Issues/Differences

During an emotional scene set by the lake, Ethan and Sophie open up to each other about their pasts. Sophie talks about losing a close friend, while Ethan shares the pain of losing his wife to cancer. They start to see each other in a new light, and their off-screen relationship begins to soften.

6. Hate/Betrayal/All Hope is Lost

After the movie becomes a hit, Ethan tells Sophie that her acting was phenomenal and very convincing, but he was referring to their off-screen “romance” used for marketing. Sophie, thinking their connection was real, feels deeply betrayed and storms off in tears.

7. Love Happens

Following Gwen’s advice, Ethan organizes a special event at the fishing village, recreating one of the cheesiest scenes from their movie but with genuine heartfelt additions. He confesses his true feelings in front of the entire cast and crew, acknowledging his mistakes and expressing his love for Sophie.

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean’s Right Characters!
What I learned from this assignment is the importance of tailoring characters to the story.
The head agent’s father was a crooked cop, so he has to go out of his way to prove he’s legit.
The informant regrets ever getting involved with the crime syndicate and wants them put away to help atone for her misdeeds. And she wants to learn to be able to trust again, something she hasn’t done since her dad left her mom when the informant was just a child.
Without this assignment, I would never have thought of those ideas!

[Dean Burkey]

Dean’s Great Hook!
I learned how to rework ideas to make them fresh and new.
“Danger House” – A safe house that is anything but safe!
I enjoyed this process; and it worked well for me. Hard to pick the right idea though.

[Dean Burkey]

What I learned from this assignment are various ways to keep characters confined to one location.
JAWS: Expand the last third of the money with just the three of them on the boat. Or turn the shark into a serial killer with a snorkel; and everything takes place in a backyard pool.
Yes, I’m being silly. ;oP

[Dean Burkey]

Dean’s Bigger Story
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of having a strong skeleton upon which to flesh out the story.
“REEL LOVE”
Act 1:
Opening: The movie begins with Ethan Blake and Sophie Taylor’s first day on the set of a romantic comedy. They are introduced to each other and exchange forced pleasantries. The script requires them to perform a cliché romantic scene set in a quaint fishing village during Arbor Day. On camera, they deliver their lines with passion. Off-camera, they exchange sharp, cutting remarks.
Inciting Incident: Ethan and Sophie both reluctantly accepted their roles for different reasons. Ethan needs the money to pay off debts, while Sophie’s agent convinced her it’s a stepping stone to better opportunities. Their mutual disdain for the script and the situation brings them together, though initially, only in shared misery.
Turning Point: Ethan and Sophie have an argument that gets way out of hand, resulting in a small fire on set (perhaps caused by a mishap with the lighting equipment during a night fishing scene). The fire is quickly extinguished, but the damage is done. Furious, Max fires Ethan on the spot. Sophie, however, stands up for Ethan, declaring that if he’s fired, she’ll leave too. Max, not wanting to lose his lead actress, reluctantly gives them both one more chance after they both beg and promise to behave.
Act 2:
New Plan: Determined to make the best of their situation, Ethan and Sophie decide to put aside their differences and focus on making the movie a success. They work together to improve their on-screen chemistry and start rehearsing their scenes more diligently.
Plan in Action: As they spend more time together, they start to share personal stories. During a particularly challenging scene set by the lake, Ethan asks Sophie which experiences in her life she drew upon to portray an emotional scene so vividly. Sophie opens up about losing a close friend in a car crash. In turn, when she asks Ethan the same question, he shares about losing his wife to cancer. This moment of vulnerability marks the beginning of a shift in their relationship.
Midpoint Turning Point: Their improved on-screen chemistry catches the attention of the crew and the marketing team. The marketing team seizes on Ethan and Sophie’s apparent off-screen romance to promote the movie. Their supposed real-life love story becomes a media sensation, blurring the lines between reality and fiction even further.
Act 3:
Rethink Everything: After the movie hits number one at the box office, Ethan tells Sophie that her acting was phenomenal and that she’s very convincing. Sophie, confused, asks which scene he liked best. Ethan clarifies he was talking about their off-screen romance to help promote the movie. Devastated, Sophie realizes he thought it was all an act. She storms away in tears.
New Plan: Gwen overhears the entire conversation and tells Ethan that Sophie genuinely loves him. Ethan, now realizing his mistake, asks Gwen if she can write a way for him to win Sophie back. Gwen, initially offended by his earlier comment, reluctantly agrees to help.
Turning Point: Huge Failure / Major Shift: Ethan, following Gwen’s advice, makes a grand romantic gesture on set, recreating the cheesiest scene from their movie but adding his sincere feelings. However, Sophie is initially too hurt to accept his apology and walks away, leaving Ethan devastated.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict: Ethan doesn’t give up. He plans one final, heartfelt gesture. He organizes a special event at the fishing village where the movie was filmed, inviting the entire cast and crew. He gives a heartfelt speech, confessing his true feelings for Sophie and acknowledging his mistake.
Resolution: Sophie, moved by Ethan’s persistence and genuine apology, forgives him. They share a heartfelt kiss, this time knowing their love is real. The scene fades as they hold hands, surrounded by the supportive cast and crew.
Closing Shot: The camera pans out, showing the bustling movie set with crew members and extras preparing for the next scene of their new movie together, a cheesy romantic comedy about a bakery about to go bankrupt on Flag Day. Ethan and Sophie, now a real-life couple, are at the center, smiling and happy. They exchange a look of genuine affection, and the scene fades to black with the sound of a clapperboard signaling the start of another take.

[Dean Burkey]

What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of making both characters likable in some way. To present them both as worthy of love.

[Dean Burkey]

What I learned from this assignment is the importance of separations being resolved through what forces the couple together. A dichotomy of sorts. They’re separated and yet becoming unified at the same time.

[Dean Burkey]

Dean Burkey
I agree to the terms of this release form.”
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Dean Burkey]

1. Hi Romantic Comedy Class, I’m Dean Burkey.
2. I’ve written over two dozen screenplays. Not all great, but not all bad either. Mostly comedy.
3. With this class, I hope to network with other like-minded people and gain the ability to sell screenplays to Hallmark and the like. Plus, learn how to add romance better to my other stories. Before she passed away, my Mom and I spent her last few years watching Hallmark movies, because those are all G-rated. She would always say I could write those. So I’d like to. Plus, learning how to write a love story will enhance most any story. Just think how differently JAWS would’ve ended, if that shark hadn’t fallen in love with that scuba tank! ;oP
4. As you can see, I can be silly sometimes. I also perform standup comedy, write books, and post a joke a day on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter with #DeanSays

[Dean Burkey]

Dean Burkey
I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Dean Burkey]

Hi Tim,
Thank you for your feedback.
The second version was what I reworked after getting feedback from Dave.
1. The governor / government is being duped by Hargrove. He acts like he’s helping them, but he’s buying up evacuated cities super cheap. He even offers to help figure out what’s causing the MYST when he’s the one causing the MYST.
2. The MYST is created by Hargrove proprietary technology via his network of red antennas.
3. Thank you for helping me condense that. I think I confused this assignment with a previous one where we broke down each tidbit of horror and such.
Thanks Again & All The Best,
Dean

[Dean Burkey]

You’re welcome, Tim.
Looks like adding a second day to give the plot more time to unfold worked out well for you.
Coherence is awesome! Made for only fifty grand. Great move with fun twists and a surprise ending.
The class did say back stories can be explained in sequels.
All The Best,
Dean

[Dean Burkey]

Hi Tim,
Great logline. I love the phrase “turning their vanities and darkest fears into weapons of their demise.” I’m already intrigued!
Whoa! Awesome where even the reflection in the water is problematic.
What?! And now an exploding mirror! Way to build in horrific intensity.
Wow! With crushing horrific intensity!
What if a hand reaches out of the pool at the end?
Great job! I wish I could give better advice, but it flows well, building in intensity.
If you want a comedic moment, which might work only for the Gag Reel, have a scene where the person sprays the mirror with Windex; and that person’s reflection closes their eyes and coughs and such from getting sprayed in the face with Windex.
For the Gag Reel: You could also show the hand rising out of the pool and say things like: “Just when you thought it was safe to lounge by the pool…” and “Can I give you a hand?”
Crazy Idea (for the movie, not the Gag Reel): I don’t know the purpose of these reflection doppelgängers, but what if they get in a fight with each other? And/or they could work together to hunt down Tyler and Lily; and while doing so, they bicker and then battle each other. Seeing how they’re reflections of competitive influencers, they might not get along. Even as the house burns down on them, they could still fight and each blames the others. And then if you do have a hand come out of the pool at the end, it could be charred. – But like I said, it’s a Crazy Idea.
Great job.
All The Best,
Dean

[Dean Burkey]

Dean’s Horror Outline Version 2
What I learned doing this assignment is to be willing and open to receiving feedback. Thank you Dave! How to be more succinct – well, less un-succinct than before anyway – and how to add more fun at the end and show how the most refined character becomes the most savage.
MYST
Logline: A MYSTerious MYST invades a small village, preying on its residents, feeding on their loneliness and fear, seeking to destroy them all.
EXT. SEASIDE TOWN – SUNRISE
Apprehension, Fear, Dread: A MYSTerious MYST moves through a seaside town teeming with new red antennas all around. Tortured screams abound in the MYSTerious MYST.
EXT. CITY HALL – DAY
Apprehension: The aftermath of a horrific event. The Myst is gone. Five women lie dead, each with a bullet in her forehead. No one else can be found in this once thriving town.
INT. GOVERNOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Apprehension, Suspense: When informed, the Governor orders that that tragedy be kept out of the news. Wealthy elite Mr. Hargrove agrees to keep everything quiet. A.k.a. The real horror: Government Coverup & Greed: A Lethal Combination.
EXT. PARK / TOWN SQUARE – DAY
Release: Villagers enjoy a casual community picnic. Smoke rises from grills. People stand in line to be served. Children run around playing tag, laughter fills the air.
Surprise, Apprehension, Anxiety, Suspense: VROOM! The thunder of engines breaks the calm serenity as a convoy of Hargrove Communications trucks pull into the square. The workers jump out of those trucks and begin unloading bright red antennas, catching the attention of some villagers.
Apprehension/Anxiety: Dr. Evelyn Hart notices the anxious looks among the villagers. She inquites, but the foreman just gives her a vague smile and says they’re bringing better entertainment for everyone.
Apprehension, Unease: A feeling of unease overwhelms the older villagers as the workers start installing the antennas on rooftops.
Surprise: The team finishes fast and nnounces activation will take effect that evening.
Shock: A worker makes a mistake and gets zapped by whatever strange power comes from those antennas. He screams, flies off the roof, and lands dead in the street.
Shock and Fear: The zapped worker’s body gets covered with a tarp. But the tarp flattens, indicating nothing is underneath. When the trucks storm away, that tarp blows away, revealing that the zapped worker’s body disappeared.
INT. VARIOUS HOUSES – NIGHT
Release: Various individuals and families enjoy a greater variety of entertainment choices on their TV. But even in the houses with families, the people watch individually on their own separate TVs.
EXT. ELDERGROVE – SUNSET
Suspense: Six weeks after becoming beta-testers, less and less people attend the community events, giving Eldergrove a ghost town feel, even before all the “fun” begins.
Surprise: That night the “fun” begins. That same mysterious Myst from the opening scenes visits. Some citizens disappear.
Release: The others assume they left town for personal reasons.
Suspense: More people disappear in the Myst.
Shock: Sarah runs from the Myst, but gets cornered and can’t run anymore.
After Sarah disappears, people become more aware of the Myst making people disappear.
EXT. ELDERGROVE – NIGHT
Release: George uses an electric leaf-blower to stave off the Myst. His plan works!
Fear: But then the power goes out; and the Myst engulfs him. His plan doesn’t work. Bye-bye George.
Release: David uses a gas-powered leaf-blower. His plan works!
Fear: But the leaf-blower bursts into flames. His plan doesn’t work. Another MYSTerious death.
Suspense, Anguish: Was that just a coincidence? Or is this Myst more powerful than we first imagined?
INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
Anguish: The others stay locked inside hearing the horrors resounding outside.
EXT. DR HART’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Apprehension: Dr Hart hears the screams of those outside.
Surprise: Sudden pounding at the door.
Release: It’s just Marcus visiting Dr Hart because she asked for his help.
Suspense: They venture forth into the level-one Myst together. A thin, almost translucent Myst that covers the entire town of Eldergrove, creates an eerie atmosphere, muffling sounds and reducing visibility slightly, and serves as a constant source of unease.
Surprise: A car – with a family inside hoping to escape – almost hits Dr Hart, but Marcus pulls her safely out of the way.
Shock: That car tries to leave town and gets thrown back by the level-two Myst surrounding the town, but no one is inside the car anymore. Making it clear that escape is impossible.
Fear, Monster Reveal: Marcus and Dr Hart witness level-three myst (Shadow Stalker Layer) attack someone who ventured outside. They realize the layers of myst work together to create an environment of isolation and eventual doom.
Suspense: The level-three Myst Shadow Stalker turns their way, so they flee.
Release: They figure they can reach the village hall in time.
Suspense: Dr Hart has too many keys and takes far too long to find the right one.
Anguish: Marcus hears his wife’s voice in the level-three Myst, calls out her name, and willingly walks toward the level-three Myst.
Release: Dr Hart grabs Marcus and pulls him back, causing both of them to fall inside the village hall where she quickly gets up to lock the door. They share a Hallmark movie style deep gaze into each other’s eyes.
Surprise: Screams from outside kill the Hallmark movie vibe.
Suspense, Monster Reveal: Dr. Hart figures out that the Myst has something to do with the beta-test program for Hargrove Communications. The individualized programming separated people, making them more vulnerable and more “attractive” to the Myst. She calls everyone to join them in the village hall.
Suspense: Anna tries to connect with Daniel, urging him to stay strong to fight the Myst. Daniel, burdened by guilt and despair, begins to break down.
Release: Daniel agrees to help however he can. The group manages to find a glimmer of hope by holding hands and sharing their fears, seemingly weakening the Myst temporarily.
Suspense: Dr. Hart pleads for everyone to stay together and work to destroy the signal from the red antennas. Daniel and Frank start knocking down the red antennas.
Release: It’s working! The Myst grows weaker with each newly destroyed red antenna.
Shock, Anguish: Before they can destroy a third antenna, the Shadow Stalker Myst comes at Daniel and Frank full force, Daniel jumps off the roof, but Frank’s too afraid to jump and becomes engulfed by the Myst. Farewell Frank.
Reaction: Dr. Hart, Marcus, Daniel, Anna, her son Caleb, Claire, and Tom clutch each other inside the village hall.
INT. VILLAGE HALL – NIGHT
Suspense: The survivors gather together, trying to keep their spirits up, hoping that if they stay awake and together, the Myst won’t take them.
Release: Daniel tells a story to lighten the mood.
Surprise: A loud BANG hits one of the boarded windows. Everyone jumps, their eyes wide in fear as they exchange worried glances.
Suspense: They all sit in silence, listening, as the sound of scraping slowly follows the bang. The noise seems to move around the outside of the hall, circling them like a predator stalking its prey.
Release: False hope. Marcus says it’s probably just an animal… or the wind. Daniel nods in agreement, trying to steady his own racing heart. Dr. Hart tells a story.
Surprise, Shock: Claire shrieks and her eyes widen. Sayonara serenity! She sees it – a shadow moves slowly, deliberately, pausing just long enough for her to realize it isn’t her imagination.
Suspense: The shadow lingers, watching them, before it slinks away, disappearing into the night. Claire looks around, but no one else noticed it. She tries to convince herself it was nothing. Clearly, she’s still stuck in the denial stage with naivety and delusion as her only sources of comfort.
Surprise: A slow, deliberate, almost polite knock echos through the hall. The survivors freeze, their faces drain of color. The knock comes once more, followed by silence.
Suspense: Tom, sitting closest to the door, takes a deep breath. He stands, his face conflicted. He moves toward the door, despite Dr. Hart warning him not to. He ignores her. As he approaches the door, a faint, melodic voice drifts in from the other side pleading please. Tom opens the door.
Release: No one’s there.
Shock: A figure emerges from the Myst – a Shadow Stalker. Tom lets out a terrified scream as the Shadow Stalker yanks him into the Myst. The door slams shut behind them. Followed by a heinously whispered thank you.
Fear: The reality settles over them – the Myst isn’t just a force of nature; it’s intelligent, malevolent, and it’s toying with them, one by one. Dr Hart realizes the TV package eavesdropped to learn everyone’s secrets.
Dread: Eerie whispers taunt Claire, revealing her fears and secrets to all.
Shock: Claire screams that she can’t take it anymore, so she rushes to open the door.
Anguish, Dread: The others watch as Marcus rushes over to save her, only to be taken along with her.
Release: Dr Hart slams the door shut and locks it again. A brief respite of silence.
Dread: A sinister cackle resounds in the eerie, haunting Myst. This is one mean Myst!
INT. CITY HALL – DAY
Fear: Dr. Hart, Anna, her son Caleb, and Daniel clutch each other inside the village hall.
Panic: Eldergrove Population: Four. The Myst seeps full force through cracks and under the doors to envelope them. Dr. Hart tells them to stay strong and keep their eyes closed.
Horror: Anna’s son becomes curious and peeks. Whoosh! The Myst takes him away. Afraid Anna will open her eyes, Daniel opens his, so he can see to cover Anna’s eyes with his hands, pleading for her to keep them closed. Whoosh! Daniel disappears in the Myst.
Hysteria: Dr. Hart and Anna clutch each other with their eyes clenched closed, tears streaming down their faces. The Myst Shadow Stalker swirls around them in a horrendous fury. The fury grows in intensity. Swirling and twirling. Says horrible things, especially to Anna for losing her son Caleb. Dr Hart and Anna hang onto each other, clutching and weeping, crying out in tortured grief.
Release: Whoosh! The Myst recedes, leaving Dr. Hart and Anna all alone. Eldergrove Population: Two.
EXT. CITY HALL – DAY
Release: Finally opening their eyes, they see that the Myst receded, Dr. Hart and Anna run outside, sad everyone else died, but happy that they survived. They smile and hug and jump for joy.
Shock: Kablam! A bullet fired from a sniper hits Anna in her forehead. Kablam! Dr Hart ducks down, but it’s unclear if she ducked in time. Eldergrove Population: One?
EXT. BASE CAMP – DAY
Suspense: The sniper is Scientist 1, who looks back and forth through his sights, but can’t see Dr Hart anywhere. He and his partner comment on how well the Myst has improved, leaving only two this time. Scientist 2 says he’ll call Hargrove to inform him that the town has been “evacuated”. Scientist 1 tells him to wait, because they might have a hanger-on.
EXT. ELDERGROVE – SUNSET
Suspense: The scientists quickly remove and dispose of Anna’s body.
Shock, Hysteria: As they search the village, Dr Hart, now a raving lunatic, jumps out at them. Both scientists unload their revolvers into her. Even then, she still makes noise much longer than she should.
Suspense: A government team arrives to investigate the disappearance of everyone, along with Mr. Hargrove, who quickly buys the village under the guise of helping, hinting at further sinister plans. Hargrove agrees to keep everything quiet, so he won’t ruin the governor’s chances of re-election. He also agrees to have his top scientists figure what could be causing such a MYSTerious phenomena.
EXT. SEASIDE TOWN – DAY
Suspense: The Myst rolls into a new, isolated town, teeming with new red antennas.
EXT. BASE CAMP – DAY
Suspense: Two scientists oversee the operation from a distance, hinting that Mr. Hargrove has a bigger plan; and the cycle is far from over. So the Myst isn’t so MYSTerious after all, for as long as there is greed and despair, the Myst will be there. They say that after this village, they’ll experiment with larger towns and even cities.
Shock: A sudden look to the camera as he says to the viewer: Maybe yours. The Myst’s sinister cackle resounds.

[Dean Burkey]

Hi Dave,
Thank you for your feedback.
I felt my outline was clunky, especially after seeing how streamlined yours is. I just copied and pasted the outline from the previous homework assignment.
I know most horror movies keep someone alive at the end. The Final Girl or such. But my idea is that this is a government / elite conspiracy horror. However, I do think it might be fun to keep Dr Hart alive for just a little while longer.
Thank You & All The Best,
Dean

[Dean Burkey]

Way to go Dave. I think of it this way: Once you blow up the shark, you just paddle back to shore. So good job wrapping things up quickly. We see Jennifer driving Nearest’s car, so that tells us a lot right there.
All The Best,
Dean

[Dean Burkey]

Hi David,
Great job. A lot of intricate info to follow, but still intriguing and engaging.
My only thought is that the epilogue seems too long. Consider ending it with the discovery of Nearest in the painting. Jennifer could say this fight is far from over. The End!
Or then Jennifer tells the gang she has to go after the other four demons. Quick clip of her finding the money and the car keys at Nearest's place. As she drives off, one of the gang calls to say they heard news reports of a similar occurrence at the next location she goes to visit.
All The Best,
Dean
PS Remember I’m only going by the brief outline that I read. You know your whole story. Plus, who am I to talk? My epilogue’s long to match my opening prologue and to reveal the sinister source of the Myst. Something about seeing Nearest in the painting made me think that would be a great ending. A great visual with a Twilight Zone feel.

• This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by  Dean Burkey.

[Dean Burkey]

Diane, I just saw The Menu last month. Such a fun movie. Anya Taylor-Joy is screen magic. Super fun movie. Lots of crazy twists and turns. Excellent example of the suspense technique of fragmented information as we learn more and more about Anya Taylor-Joy’s character as the movie progresses. Your concept sounds wild and fun too. All The Best, Dean