[Deborah Davis]

Deborah Breuner Davis

Log line; Her greatest love was family; her gravest mistake was trusting them.

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Well to start with, merely asking these questions before I embark upon a script I want to create would be very important. It would save everyone involved a lot of time, and make me as a writer more desirable to a producer.

Even though I’ve written and rewritten the current script, I’m working on hundreds of times, with what I’ve been coached to think about more fully in this class , I may be re-writing again and again… which is fine. It has become better with each re-write.

Genre;

Since the the genre I’m working with now, a memoir, would be considered drama, if I were writing from a raw idea I would still find drama my specialty. What I realize now is that there are many different dramas available, such as drama/psychological thriller; drama/psychological crime; drama/comedy and many more and in different combinations, though drama would be the main genre.

Title;

Direct titles that are engaging do attract audiences and though I struggled with the title of my script, I finally landed on UNCONSCIONABLE. My thought was who wouldn’t want to see a film titled UNCONSCIONABLE ? Originally I chose a very unique title using one word, but felt in the end no one would likely know what it meant unless they were English teachers.

Then I have always understood that one word titles are the best most of the time. Actually not sure this is true? I have seen many films with longer titles and it works.

Concept;

“The concept is what you make your story decisions from. Once you are clear on the concept, you’ll want to keep it at the forefront of your thoughts as you choose characters, structure, plot, etc..”

…and I understand this well, I believe. The concept of my current script follows all the way through to the end. But then again, my script is a memoir and ‘truth is stranger than fiction.’ It also has it’s own devine rhythm that doesn’t need to be made up, just interrupted.

Audience;

This involves writing for and marketing to the age group that would most appreciate what you will write or have written about. In my case, at the moment, it would be addressing the young professionals. In the most recent script I’ve written I have addressed anyone who does business with a bank. Most importantly the young professional would find my film a lifesaver for their financial lives; for the older generation it would be rectifying and comforting to what they unfortunately have found out to be true as they lived their lives. In other words eye opening, and entertaining at the same time.

Lead Characters;

I believe I have amazing characters in my script.The lead character, Deborah, is a strong protagonist; a fighter for justice that concerns anyone who does business with a bank, attorney, or the authorities. Her business partner/sidekick and eventual love of her life, Larry, is fighting the same battle with her, as it continues with many frustrating, thrilling and laughable moments

with justice right there for the taking, or thought to be? And eventually continues in a sequel that will shock the audience.

Journey/ Character Arc;

“The journey of the movie is usually the story of the Protagonist and HOW they changed as they went through this story. The Character Arc is the starting point and the ending point. The journey is what happens between those two.

The journey challenges the lead character to his or her core and forces them to change — often facing the one issue that they’ve hid from their entire life.”

I believe UNCOSCIONABLE delivers this well and the journey is fascinating, sad and funny; in fact it’s unbelievable to most in the public. But once they see this film they’ll be walking out of the theater saying, “ Wow I wondered about that for years, or they’ll be saying, “Oh my God, this can’t possibly be true, could it? Call our attorney, and money manager now!”

What the protagonist grows to learn, is shocking and changes her life forever amongst those she once called family.

Opening /Ending;

“The opening is the most compelling way to start this story. It lures us into the story. It introduces one or more of the lead characters in an interesting way while introducing us to the world.

The ending brings the story to a conclusion. But it also delivers the message powerfully. It has the characters come to a fitting ending based upon who they were in this story. And it brings the journey to a close in a powerful way that is memorable.”

Yes, I believe I have this, there’s not a quiet moment in the film. It’s either maddening, frustrating, sad or funny; rarely a dull moment; often shocking!

If there is anything I would work further towards it would be developing the antagonists to be still more colorful.

[Deborah Davis]

The Wolf of Wall Street

Deborah Breuner Davis

“Truth is stranger than fiction”

This is why I love true stories, (such as memoirs) because no one could make up the truth, not unless they have seen the truth or stuck around long enough to hear about it, and understand it.

I have.

This film is a dramatic psychological thriller every minute, with manipulation, corruption, camaraderie, secretiveness, greed, deviancy, and lust which is the same as greed.

The Wolf of Wall Street depicts the truth about the world of finance.

I am an expert already in this.

One of the early scenes in this film is Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) having lunch with, Mark Hanna (Mathew McConaughey)All this film was about was in a nutshell amidst this scene.We’re talking about the chanting, chest pounding, paid under the table service and Mark teaching Jordan what habits to take on in order to be successful with his greed and lust to make money.

There are many wonderful Tropes. This film is full of them.

Here are few;

“If the DOJ sent a subpoena to a Swiss bank, we’d wipe our ass with it” by a Swiss banker.

I happen to know this is true, I have seen it myself.

Donnie (Jonah Hill) pees in the middle of the trading floor in front of hundreds of other stock brokers, by whipping it out and letting it go. It’s his way of letting everyone know what he would do with a subpoena.

Here’s another;

“Money talks and Ratholes take the bus”

“Emperor of fucks-ville”

Amidst all the greed and lust we see kindness in Jordon when he reminisces what he did for Kim. When she came to him for a job as she couldn’t pay her rent. Instead of an advance of $5,000, as she asked, he wrote a check to her for $25,000.

This shows that the human spirit, no matter how criminal, often has a soft side, but it also works double time to allow the giver to feel power.

Donnie says to the questions of the FBI,” I was fucked up, so I don’t know”

In other words this is a good excuse in our society today.

The spirit of this film is Organized Crime laced with camaraderie; The Good Old Boys Club

The only thing about this film I don’t believe is that the FBI does anything about financial crime against the investor.

They do not!

This film is like the story of Ted Bundy in the financial world meeting The Titanic😳

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Deborah Davis.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Deborah Davis.

[Deborah Davis]

Deborah Breuner Davis

My specialty in developing and writing scripts is Drama/ Psychological Thriller.

The scripts I’ve written, so far, would also be considered memoir, but always Drama/Psychological Thriller full of manipulation, hidden agendas and metaphors.

My specialty is Drama/Psychological Thriller

I have chosen as my first film to analyze, Midnight In The Garden of Good and Evil; a memoir, written out of context, though the experiences,personalities and agendas are real.

I believe I can write Drama/Psychological Thrillers in fiction as well and become an expert; my own personal life helps me understand just about all psychologies,agendas and crime, which lends itself to very intense interesting dramas.

The opening shot in this film, Midnight Garden of Good and Evil is the burial plot for John Herndon Mercer, a very prominent character no longer with us. Johnny was a Mercer, (1909-1976) one of Savannah’s first families, with two generals and two colonels, evenly divided between the Union and the Confederacy. The next shot is the statute of a young girl with no eyes balancing a plate in each hand; which I recognized as symbolizing Good and Evil.

…now the games begin.

Manerva is sitting on a park bench, obviously the Voodoo witch of Savana, Georgia. Her familiarity with the squirrel, her attire, belongings in a carpet bag, and her attention to the Delta plane, flying overhead, and landing shows us what she is thinking; “protect my people”.

I love the Scenic driver announcing the area in which he is driving his double-decker bus as the area of Near-do-wells and Scallywags. So descriptive; I believe a Trope.

John Kelso (John Cusack) arrives on this bus to this area; we are learning he’s a writer/journalist from New York and will be staying in the guest house of an old Savana refurbished home to attend two Christmas parties put on by Jim ( Kevin Spacey).

When John Kelso enters the home, which is a gloriously decorated Savana home made into a reception office, he is greeted by Betty Hartly, Sammy the lawyer’s secretary, and then introduced to Sammy who’s on the phone. Sammy tells John Kelso to sit down and he’ll be with him in a minute. All the photos on the wall are Bull Dogs dressed in different outfits. John sits down, as he looks curiously about. Sammy is off the phone; Betty Hartly brings in a release form for John Kelso to sign. John refuses to sign, Sammy voices why he should sign; Betty says, “It’s not just any party”.

Sammy is all about protecting his people of Savana from a New York Journalist. Just what do they have to hide?

Sammy regresses and escorts John out his office door to a man standing in front of what appears to be a walk-in Rumford fireplace with his back to the center of the room; he turns around when he hears his lawyer Sammy.

It’s Jim, the descendant of John Herndon Mercer. He greets John Kelso with lust in his eyes, and says “ Let’s take a walk, shall we sport?”

I see an agenda, manipulation, and secretive behavior.

As Jim and John walk out the door Betty stops them, and hands over a leashed Bull Dog saying,” Will you take him for a walk?” Jim says, “Yes” John grabs the leash. As they walk John notices a man that is walking a suspended leash and collar, no dog attached, and asks, who is he and what is he doing? Jim says, “ Oh Mr. Glover was paid to walk Patrick the Retriever after his master died, at $15.00 and hour. The dog passed away so now Mr. Glover continues to walk a fake dog so he’s paid.”

There are so many wonderful scenes in this film, but in the interest of time I must, skip a number of them, and address a few of my favorites left and move on to my second film.

There were to be two Christmas parties put on by Jim(Kevin Spacey) in his historic home which John Kelso, ( John Cusack) would attend and write for Town and Country Magazine. John arrives the second night in a tux Jim had delivered to him in his cottage on the property. It fits perfectly as if Jim were his personal tailor.

Hummm…

So John Kelso arrives at the second night party, in his chosen by Jim, tux with added notes pinned to the garment inside the garment bag.

In the evening John shows up at the party and is greeted by the cook and eventually the photographer. Then Jim shows up with twinkling eyes for John Kelso. The scene then continues with Jim greeting his many guests with “phoney cheap kisses” on the cheeks for all the ladies. He won’t even look at anyone in their eyes.

Then Sarina Daul shows up dressed like an 1800 Cowboy Saloon Lady of the night. Jim kisses her on her checks. Within moments she’s flaunting her small sliver revolver in the air pointing it at everyone; talking about how her husband committed suicide with it; the couple closest to her reminisces about her now deceased husband who also committed suicide and they laugh about not touching the revolver at the death scene or they might be considered suspects…lol!

Sarina says to Jim, “I’d get out of bed for you anytime” I’m assuming she doesn’t know he’s gay or doesn’t care.

John Kelso looks shocked!

Jim says to John,” Would you care to see something a little more unusual?”

Upstairs they go to a room with a pipe organ. Jim unboxes a lethal knife for show. Billy shows up drunk as a skunk screaming profanity at Jim, asks for money then slams a bottle near the organ; breaks it and then leaves. Jim resumes to his desk chair with a sad face but blames Billy. John appears shocked once more.

The dogs are barking outside, Billy storms off in his car, Jim claimed he knows what to do; sits down at the organ, curtains open and music chimes out. John Kelso smiles in delight.

By midnight Billy is dead and Jim shot him in self defense?

Last scene I love,and will comment upon, is John on the phone with his agent saying. “ I’ve only been here three days and it’s just a shooting. Give it time okay? This place is fantastic! It’s like, ‘Gone with the wind on Mesealine!’

“I know you’re my agent! Listen to me! They walk imaginary pets here on a fucking leash, and they’re heavily armed and drugged. New York is boring. I’ll call you later!

There is so much more to this film but I must carry on to the next film, The Wolf of Wall Street

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Deborah Davis.

[Deborah Davis]

Deborah Breuner Davis

What I’m planning to do to step up on my credibility is to work on the LinkedIn site.

Get to work on launching the whole series which relates to the one book I have published.

Test out the connections both my partner Larry and I have with the industry.

I’m relatively new to screenwriting; because of my partner Larry and my experiences we started writing about our UNCONSCIONABLE situation first in a series of books, articles, blogs and then adapted these books to scripts. Now we are hooked on writing screenplays.

Sean Ireland, from Los Angeles helped us a lot back in 2009; he is or was, a professor of English, also teaching Scriptwriting. I have all his notes still. He was extremely complimentary of Larry and my screenplay.

I have a very large presence on Google, but not as a screenwriter, but instead the experience that gave birth to becoming a writer and the one book I have published; God’s On Our Side Sweetie, But The Devil Has Control , which is one of four in a series. I’m relaunching them all together soon once I edit the other three books.

I know Michael McDonald who is a producer there in Hollywood. He produced American Greed. His mother and I raised our children together back in Michigan; my daughter’s are close to Michael, Danny and their sister Jill’s age. Michael’s mother, Sherry and father, Mike were very special friends of my husband,Rick and mine.

My daughter, Lexi is still quite close to Michael.

I have numerous blogs, which I will step up on working with; I might merely start a new one just for screenwriting?

I played a major role, the mother, in a film called Ripped Memories in about 2010. This film-is represented on IMBD and so am I for playing the part.

My partner, Larry and myself have been very good friends with Gary Busey, and his once wife Tiani. I know Clint Eastwood as we were neighbors in Sun Valley, Idaho and skied on the same celebrity team back a number of years ago. I was very close to Berry Berenson Perkins, Tony Perkin’s wife; she regrettably died on 911 in one of the planes.

Larry’s grandfather, Charlie Holbrook was very involved in Hollywood as he leased his horses to the movie industry; the most often to MGM.

Recently I have submitted our screenplay to two contests; Cloverfly and Table Read My Screenplay

I believe that my two screenplays represent strongly the drama genre, being focused on the drama of hidden crime and manipulation, such as in Gaslight.

I also feel confident that the costs to produce these two screenplays, UNCONSCIONABLE and CLARE would be on the lower end of cost while bringing a very large impact to the audience.

What I have learned from this assignment is that I have some great connections which I rarely thought about and I need to spend some quality time beefing up LinkedIn

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Deborah Davis.

[Deborah Davis]

Continued:

Hi Again,

I was under the impression that I would be attaching my two projects here, but apparently I’m not supposed to; instead mention them, and share my vision for future projects.

So I have written UNCONSCIONABLE and CLARE; both adaptations from a memoir set of four books; a true story.

I believe the budget on both of these films would be on the lower end because these are dramas easily filmed just about anywhere. Most of the intrigue is within the relationships. You know like “Gaslight” So likely around two to five million.

My genre is absolutely drama and in the future look forward to writing more in this genre. I’m fascinated with relationships and the issues arising from dysfunctional relationships, while healing would often be part of these films.

Thank you,

Deborah Breuner Davis

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Deborah Davis.

[Deborah Davis]

Hi!

The two projects I’m bringing to class are UNCONSCIONABLE and CLARE; both adapted from a memoir set of, four volumes, I have written. CLARE still needs a number of re-writes.

From my life experiences a goal has emerged into writing about family drama, manipulation, crime and unraveling of truth, laced with joy, great memories, healing and how the breakdown of trust in family creates the scapegoat.

What I learned from the teleconference has shown me how to change my focus to completely encouraging and allowing myself to be receptive to another’s vision and challenge myself to be able to do this. I can get very opinionated, especially when someone asks me to state something I don’t believe is true. However I learn fast, and have had to make extreme changes in my life over my lifetime, and know I can do it and learn from it, making myself a better writer.

I appreciate learning from the teleconference about how I can start marketing myself, connecting with producers on line;marketing on Google; social media and I’m sure I can come up with other ways as well. To date I have one producer on Facebook with whom I have been friends for many years. He’s from India.

To get in a position to collaborate with a producer, in a way that lends great value to their project excites me. My many years of experience in life, can be of value, I’m hoping. A producer’s vision and notes can open my eyes too.

It’s all very exciting.

I was under the impression that I would be attaching my two projects here, but apparently I’m not supposed to; instead mention them, and share my vision for future projects.

So I have written UNCONSCIONABLE and CLARE; both adaptations from a memoir set of four books; a true story.

I believe the budget on both of these films would be on the lower end because these are dramas easily filmed just about anywhere. Most of the intrigue is within the relationships. You know like “Gaslight” So likely around two to five million.

My genre is absolutely drama and in the future look forward to writing more in this genre. I’m fascinated with relationships and the issues arising from dysfunctional relationships, while healing would often be part of these films.

Thank you,

Deborah Breuner Davis

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Deborah Davis.

[Deborah Davis]

Hi!

My name is Deborah Breuner Davis; I’m a Parson’s of New York fashion designer, and Center Of Creative Studies Photographer, turned writer since 2009. I’ve written a four book memoir; published one with hopes to soon publish all four books as a set. The published book is called, God’s On Our Side Sweetie, But The Devil Has Control. I have adapted all the books to screenplays. The first one, and the only one completed, is called UNCONSCIONABLE. I have just recently entered a contest on Cloverfly with it.

I am a very proud Mother of three grown and married daughters and a new year old wire hair Dachshund named Sir Gustave Gesundheit aka “GUS”and have six beautiful grandchildren.

I’m really looking forward to this class🤗

bespokebydeborah.blogspot.com

[Deborah Davis]

Deborah Breuner Davis

I agree to the terms of this release form

[Deborah Davis]

Hi! My name is Deborah Breuner Davis and I’m really happy to be here, however I’m late and hoping I can catch up🤗

I have written six scripts.

I’m wanting to become a great scriptwriter and story teller.

What makes me different and unusual? I believe my life story is very unusual and different.

[Deborah Davis]

I agree to the terms here, although I’m starting this class very late.