Deborah Stenard
Forum Replies Created
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LESSON 15 OUTLINE VERSION 1
by D. A. Stenard
What I learned in doing this assignment is: I have such a long way to go to fully flesh out this script, but I can’t believe how easy it was to construct the outline, given all the lessons we had in this class. I truly believe I will be able to write a coherent script from this outline
SPITE FENCE
OPENING SCENE-
1. EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD – DAY
Winding road in a heavy forested area. Giant SIGN announcing new resort development .
2. EXT. RESORT – DAY
Top of mountain. A giant fence blocks top of the hill.
3. EXT. FRONT -GATE – DAY. A TECH WORKER on ladder.
Working on gate mechanics.
4. EXT. BASE OF LADDER – FRONT GATE – DAY
A weird-looking guy in stumble-walks up to the gate.
5. EXT. TOP OF GATE – DAY
The gate starts to close, almost knocking over the ladder.
SURPRISE: The tech looks down and sees the odd guy.
RELEASE: The tech talks with the weird guy.
ANXIETY: Tech gets call -about wild fire moving closer.
SHOCK: Weird Guy uses knife to slash tires on truck.
PANIC: Tech runs away into the woods in fear.
6. EXT. WOODS – DAY
Tech running blindly through the woods.
SUSPERSE: Stops to catch his breath. Hears something crashes through the woods.
RELEASE: turns out to be a deer. He relaxes.
HORROR: turns around and is face to face with the weirdo. Weirdo knocks him down and hogties him
ANGUISH: Weirdo declaims that he will all who built the fence, cutting off access to the sacred mountain
HYSTERIA: Tech bleeding, begging for his life. Weirdo drags him to edge of a pit and throws him in. A scream that stops.
7. INT. SUV – DAY
Billionaire Developer of the resort (VAUGHN) and his toady Second-In-Command (LOUIS) have brought two young girls (EVABETH and AMBER) to visit the resort .
8. EXT. ROAD – DAY
The SUV roars along the mountain top to the entrance. Get out of SUV to explore woods
9. EXT. WOODS – DAY
Evabeth talks about how she grew up in the area.
SHOCK: They notice bodies of animals strung up in trees.
ANXIETY: The girls want to turn around. Louis says they have been getting threatening letters from a Forest Rights group promised to disrupt the opening of the resort.
DIGUST: At the gate, a large deer, hung between two trees .
PANIC: Vaughn orders Louis to remove the deer. As he cuts the ropes, the deer explode maggots all over Louis.
10. INT. MAIN LOBBY – DAYE
Guests are met by Concierge (GLORIA) and security guard (DIESEL). Gloria warns them about the odd local weirdo.
11. Vaughn and Louis explore the property. Evabeth warns everyone the area is full of collapsed sinkholes.
SURPRISE: As Louis rushes ahead, he suddenly disappears.
ANXIETY: Others run to where they saw Louis disappear. Amber peers into the hole to see Louis hanging onto tree roots to avoid falling to the bottom.
SHOCK: In the bottom of the hole, there is a maze of sharpened sticks with a body impaled on them.
RELEASE: Amber helps Louis out of the hole.
12. INT. MAIN LOBBY – DAY
Girls insist on leaving; Vaughn orders Diesel to drive them
13. EXT. MAIN GATE – DAY
They are surprised to find the front gate now closed. Diesel climbs the gate to try and get it working.
HORROR SITUATION
DREAD: Amber is convinced that they won’t get the gate open.
SHOCK: Diesel reaches the top of the gate. An
arrow pierces his thigh.
PANIC: He falls onto the spikes at the top of the fence.
ANGUISH: The women leave Diestel hanging. They reverse the SUV and race back to the resort.
14. EXT. FRONT LOBBY DOORS – DAY
The men barricade the doors so the girls can’t get in. Gloria uses a different exit to get the girls and drag them to safety.
15. EXT. MAIN GATE – DAY
The weirdo (ABADDON) heaves himself over the fence.
16. INT. RESORT RRECEPTION – DAY
An arrow slams into the locked doors.
17. INT. RESORT- SAFE ROOM – AFTERNOON
Gloria brings the two girls to the Boss’s safe room.
18. EXT. RESORT – AFTERNOON
Vaughn and Louis discover the cell tower has been destroyed. They find human body parts in the woods.
19. INT. RESORT – AFTERNOON
Abaddon wanders through the resort.
SHOCK: Gloria and the girls watch Abaddon on closed circuit TV.
DREAD: Gloria reasons that he must have contracted rabies .
FEAR: Abaddon makes his way to where they are hiding.
PANIC: Evabeth forces her way out of the safe room and Gloria and Amber must follow.
20. EXT. RESORT – AFTERNOON
Vaughn and Louis find the kitchen and look for weapons.
21. INT. RESORT – AFTERNOON
The women play a game of hide-and-seek with Abaddon.
SUSPENSE: The women try to stay one step ahead of Abaddon.
FEAR: Evabeth is behind a door and Abaddon is on the other side. A noise distracts him and Evabeth is able to escape.
SURPRISE/SCARE: Gloria is searching when something grabs her. It is only Amber, but then they hear Evabeth scream.
HYSTERIA: Evabeth is struggling with Vaughn and Louis.
Gloria wants to go to the safe room but the men want to fight.
22. INT. KITCHEN – AFTERNOON
Vaughn and Louis search through the kitchen for weapons.
ANXIETY: The men are trying to find the knife drawer
FEAR: Gloria can see Abaddon on the cameras .
ANXIETY: Louis picks up a giant carving knife to show Vaughn,
who is frozen in horror on the other side of the room.
TERROR: Abaddon is standing behind him. They struggle
HYSTERIA- Abaddon plunges Louis’ face into the boiling oil in the fry-0-later. Vaughn abandons Louis to his fate.
23. INT. HOTEL LOBBY – EVENING
Vaughn grabs up the house phone and pages the whole resort.
24. INT. SAFE ROOM – EVENING
Gloria tells he two girls to stay put, she’s going to go get Vaughn.
25. INT. LOBBY – EVENING
Gloria finds Vaughn behind the front desk. Drags him upstairs.
26. INT. SAFE ROOM – EVENING
Everyone is in the safe room. They can’t see Abaddon on the cameras anymore Suddenly, all the lights and power goes off.
27. INT. POWER PLANT- EVENING
Abaddon is smashing all the electrical equipment to bits.
DREAD-the group realizes they have to leave and try to escape
SUSPENSE- they grab weapons and leave the safe room.
FEAR- They are making their way through the atrium.
HYSTERIA- a hand touches Evabeth and she turns to see the horribly burned face of Louis. She kills him out of fear.
RELEASE- Evabeth is relieved it wasn’t Abaddon, Suddenly, Abaddon grabs her from behind and tears out her throat.
28. EXT. DRIVEWAY – NIGHT
Gloria wants to burn the SUV as a beacon. They pile anything burnable around the car and set it on fire.
29. INT. HELICOPTER – NIGHT
A firefighter and a cop in a helicopter see the flames.
30. EXT. DRIVEWAY – NIGHT
Vaughn takes off his shirt and waves at the pilot. Abaddon grabs Vaughn and thrown him on the fire.
31. EXT. RESORT – NIGHT
Gloria grabs an emergency fire hose and sprays Abaddon. His hydrophobia causes his throat to spasm and he chokes to death
32. EXT. DRIVEWAY – NIGHT
Amber drags his body to the fire and rolls it into the flames.
33. INT. HELICOPTER – NIGHT
The cop misunderstands what Amber is doing with the body. He shoots Amber. She also falls onto the bonfire.
RESOLUTION – DAWN
The fire is out and smoking. Ambulances are loading up the bodies. Gloria is dazed, drained , emotionless. She looks at the woods all around the resort. A rustling in the bushes near her. She turns to see a dog with wild eyes and a slavering mouth rushing towards her as she screams.
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LESSON 15 OUTLINE VERSION 1
by D. A. Stenard
What I learned in doing this assignment is: I have such a long way to go to fully flesh out this script, but I can’t believe how easy it was to construct the outline, given all the lessons we had in this class. I truly believe I will be able to write a coherent script from this outline
SPITE FENCE
LOGLINE- A rabid maniac with a grudge terrorizes a group of vacationers at a secluded luxury resort in the woods.
OPENING SCENE-
1. EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD – DAY
Winding road in a heavy forested area. Giant SIGN announcing new resort development .
2. EXT. RESORT – DAY
Top of mountain. A giant fence blocks top of the hill.
3. EXT. FRONT -GATE – DAY. A TECH WORKER on ladder.
Working on gate mechanics.
4. EXT. BASE OF LADDER – FRONT GATE – DAY
A weird-looking guy in stumble-walks up to the gate.
5. EXT. TOP OF GATE – DAY
The gate starts to close, almost knocking over the ladder.
SURPRISE: The tech looks down and sees the odd guy.
RELEASE: The tech talks with the weird guy.
ANXIETY: Tech gets call -about wild fire moving closer.
SHOCK: Weird Guy uses knife to slash tires on truck.
PANIC: Tech runs away into the woods in fear.
6. EXT. WOODS – DAY
Tech running blindly through the woods.
SUSPERSE: Stops to catch his breath. Hears something crashes through the woods.
RELEASE: turns out to be a deer. He relaxes.
HORROR: turns around and is face to face with the weirdo. Weirdo knocks him down and hogties him
ANGUISH: Weirdo declaims that he will all who built the fence, cutting off access to the sacred mountain
HYSTERIA: Tech bleeding, begging for his life. Weirdo drags him to edge of a pit and throws him in. A scream that stops.
7. INT. SUV – DAY
Billionaire Developer of the resort (VAUGHN) and his toady Second-In-Command (LOUIS) have brought two young girls (EVABETH and AMBER) to visit the resort .
8. EXT. ROAD – DAY
The SUV roars along the mountain top to the entrance. Get out of SUV to explore woods
9. EXT. WOODS – DAY
Evabeth talks about how she grew up in the area.
SHOCK: They notice bodies of animals strung up in trees.
ANXIETY: The girls want to turn around. Louis says they have been getting threatening letters from a Forest Rights group promised to disrupt the opening of the resort.
DIGUST: At the gate, a large deer, hung between two trees .
PANIC: Vaughn orders Louis to remove the deer. As he cuts the ropes, the deer explode maggots all over Louis.
10. INT. MAIN LOBBY – DAYE
Guests are met by Concierge (GLORIA) and security guard (DIESEL). Gloria warns them about the odd local weirdo.
11. Vaughn and Louis explore the property. Evabeth warns everyone the area is full of collapsed sinkholes.
SURPRISE: As Louis rushes ahead, he suddenly disappears.
ANXIETY: Others run to where they saw Louis disappear. Amber peers into the hole to see Louis hanging onto tree roots to avoid falling to the bottom.
SHOCK: In the bottom of the hole, there is a maze of sharpened sticks with a body impaled on them.
RELEASE: Amber helps Louis out of the hole.
12. INT. MAIN LOBBY – DAY
Girls insist on leaving; Vaughn orders Diesel to drive them
13. EXT. MAIN GATE – DAY
They are surprised to find the front gate now closed. Diesel climbs the gate to try and get it working.
HORROR SITUATION
DREAD: Amber is convinced that they won’t get the gate open.
SHOCK: Diesel reaches the top of the gate. An
arrow pierces his thigh.
PANIC: He falls onto the spikes at the top of the fence.
ANGUISH: The women leave Diestel hanging. They reverse the SUV and race back to the resort.
14. EXT. FRONT LOBBY DOORS – DAY
The men barricade the doors so the girls can’t get in. Gloria uses a different exit to get the girls and drag them to safety.
15. EXT. MAIN GATE – DAY
The weirdo (ABADDON) heaves himself over the fence.
16. INT. RESORT RRECEPTION – DAY
An arrow slams into the locked doors.
17. INT. RESORT- SAFE ROOM – AFTERNOON
Gloria brings the two girls to the Boss’s safe room.
18. EXT. RESORT – AFTERNOON
Vaughn and Louis discover the cell tower has been destroyed. They find human body parts in the woods.
19. INT. RESORT – AFTERNOON
Abaddon wanders through the resort.
SHOCK: Gloria and the girls watch Abaddon on closed circuit TV.
DREAD: Gloria reasons that he must have contracted rabies .
FEAR: Abaddon makes his way to where they are hiding.
PANIC: Evabeth forces her way out of the safe room and Gloria and Amber must follow.
20. EXT. RESORT – AFTERNOON
Vaughn and Louis find the kitchen and look for weapons.
21. INT. RESORT – AFTERNOON
The women play a game of hide-and-seek with Abaddon.
SUSPENSE: The women try to stay one step ahead of Abaddon.
FEAR: Evabeth is behind a door and Abaddon is on the other side. A noise distracts him and Evabeth is able to escape.
SURPRISE/SCARE: Gloria is searching when something grabs her. It is only Amber, but then they hear Evabeth scream.
HYSTERIA: Evabeth is struggling with Vaughn and Louis.
Gloria wants to go to the safe room but the men want to fight.
22. INT. KITCHEN – AFTERNOON
Vaughn and Louis search through the kitchen for weapons.
ANXIETY: The men are trying to find the knife drawer
FEAR: Gloria can see Abaddon on the cameras .
ANXIETY: Louis picks up a giant carving knife to show Vaughn,
who is frozen in horror on the other side of the room.
TERROR: Abaddon is standing behind him. They struggle
HYSTERIA- Abaddon plunges Louis’ face into the boiling oil in the fry-0-later. Vaughn abandons Louis to his fate.
23. INT. HOTEL LOBBY – EVENING
Vaughn grabs up the house phone and pages the whole resort.
24. INT. SAFE ROOM – EVENING
Gloria tells he two girls to stay put, she’s going to go get Vaughn.
25. INT. LOBBY – EVENING
Gloria finds Vaughn behind the front desk. Drags him upstairs.
26. INT. SAFE ROOM – EVENING
Everyone is in the safe room. They can’t see Abaddon on the cameras anymore Suddenly, all the lights and power goes off.
27. INT. POWER PLANT- EVENING
Abaddon is smashing all the electrical equipment to bits.
DREAD-the group realizes they have to leave and try to escape
SUSPENSE- they grab weapons and leave the safe room.
FEAR- They are making their way through the atrium.
HYSTERIA- a hand touches Evabeth and she turns to see the horribly burned face of Louis. She kills him out of fear.
RELEASE- Evabeth is relieved it wasn’t Abaddon, Suddenly, Abaddon grabs her from behind and tears out her throat.
28. EXT. DRIVEWAY – NIGHT
Gloria wants to burn the SUV as a beacon. They pile anything burnable around the car and set it on fire.
29. INT. HELICOPTER – NIGHT
A firefighter and a cop in a helicopter see the flames.
30. EXT. DRIVEWAY – NIGHT
Vaughn takes off his shirt and waves at the pilot. Abaddon grabs Vaughn and thrown him on the fire.
31. EXT. RESORT – NIGHT
Gloria grabs an emergency fire hose and sprays Abaddon. His hydrophobia causes his throat to spasm and he chokes to death
32. EXT. DRIVEWAY – NIGHT
Amber drags his body to the fire and rolls it into the flames.
33. INT. HELICOPTER – NIGHT
The cop misunderstands what Amber is doing with the body. He shoots Amber. She also falls onto the bonfire.
RESOLUTION – DAWN
The fire is out and smoking. Ambulances are loading up the bodies. Gloria is dazed, drained , emotionless. She looks at the woods all around the resort. A rustling in the bushes near her. She turns to see a dog with wild eyes and a slavering mouth rushing towards her as she screams.
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The second part of Lesson #14
Deb Stenard
EXT. FRONT DATE – DAY
On top of a mountain, foggy air, woods on all side, clouds in the air. The giant entrance gate to a huge new resort development is open. On either side of the gate is a formidable steel fence, decorated to look like wooden logs, with steel spikes on top of each log.
It looks more like a fortress than a resort. Doesn’t fit in with its surroundings at all. The locals must HATE it.
Leaning on a ladder that propped up against the open gate is an ELECTRONICS TECHNICIAN, trying to get the front gate to actually open and close. It ain’t working.
TECHNICIAN
Damn it! For a billionaire, he sure cheaps out with some shitty stuff. Why doesn’t anyone ever ask ME what’s the best equipment for a humungous gate like this? I’m only the one who has to install it and service it.
He tinkers with the gate unit again. Suddenly his ladder wobbles, as the gate is shaken. Someone is trying to close it. The tech looks down to see an odd-looking local weirdo (ABADDON) trying to force the gate closed. His hair is matted and dirty, standing out all over his head. His eyes roll and won’t stay still. He drools excessively.
He wear a fatigue jacket with the insignia of the 503rd Infantry Unit that served in Afghanistan.
ABADDON
You can’t have this fence. Get rid of the fence!
The tech tries to stay on the swaying ladder.
TECHNICIAN
Hey, cut it out, man! Trying to do my job. This ain’t my fence. Talk to the boss if you got a beef.
Suddenly, the crackle of a walkie-talkie is heard from the unit on the tech’s belt.
SUPERVISOR (O.S.)
Billy, you there? You done with that gate yet? Answer me, over.
The tech picks up the unit, thumbs on the talk button.
TECHNICIAN
Stan, still working on it. They sent the wrong parts and I gotta jerry-rig it with what I got in the truck. Over.
SUPERVISOR
Finish it tomorrow. Over
TECHNICIAN
That’s a neg-a-tive-oh. The biggest of the big bosses is coming tomorrow morning for a soft opening of this place and I gotta have this gate working or else. Over.
SUPERVISOR
Just heard from the fire service that the wind has turned and that brush fire south of you went from moderate to high risk. Over.
TECHNICIAN
Ok, that is interesting. I’ll do my best. Over.
SUPERVISOR
I’m sure the big boss doesn’t want you to get killed putting the lock on his gate. Over and out.
The tech looks down at the weirdo, still shaking the gate.
TECHNICIAN
Hey, knock it off. Didn’t you hear my boss? That forest fire escalated. You should hightail it outta here and let me finish, so I can get outta here, too.
ABADDON
The fence is evil.
The tech slides down the ladder and head over to his truck.
TECHNICIAN
Whatever. I can get this thing working if you just let me do my job. Hey, you a vet? I see you got a patch from the 503rd. I was 75th Rangers. You guys saw some shit over there. We all did, right?
ABADDON
I took this jacket from a man at the homeless shelter. He didn’t need it.
The tech is pissed and pushes Abaddon away from him.
TECHNICIAN
Fuck you, man. Wear a jacket, but don’t try to pass yourself off as a vet if you didn’t serve! Asshole.
The tech goes back up the ladder.
TECHNICIAN
Didn’t you hear my super warn me about the fire? It could sweep up that hill fast as shit and burn your ass. Get the fuck outta here and let me do my job.
Abaddon walks over to the tech’s truck. He pulls a giant serrated hunting knife out from under his jacket and efficiently punctures all four tires. The he opens the hood and rips out everything he can.
TECHNICIAN
What the absolute fuck? That’s my own truck, you fucker, the company doesn’t pay for that.
He slides down the fence and quickly grabs a crowbar out from the cargo bay of the truck to defend himself. Abaddon pulls another giant knife out of his belt. No thanks.
The tech starts off running to the woods. He turns back to see Abaddon jerkily following him.
INT. WOODS – AFTERNOON
The tech is running thought the woods, tripping over logs and getting hit in the face with branches. He grabs up his walkie-talkie and thumbs it on.
TECHNICIAN
Hello? Hello? Stan, are you there? HELLO! Stan! Is anybody there? HELLO! FUCK!
He stops behind a tree to catch his breath. He hears a noise coming from the way he just ran. He can’t see anything. But he hears something big coming clumsily through the brush.
He carefully puts his walkie-talkie down and get a good grip on the crowbar, prepared to go down swinging. He waits. And waits and…
A deer pushes its way through the undergrowth. It stops when it sees the tech. The tech stares back at it. He relaxes.
Turns to face Abaddon right behind him. Abaddon knocks him down and hogties him with zip ties from his jacket.
EXT. FOREST – AFTERNOON
Abaddon is dragging the poor tech along the forest floor.
ABADDON
You cannot cut off the mountain. It needs freedom. The animals and birds needs to be free.
TECHNICIAN
It wan’t my choice. Mr. Adderman did this. I don’t even work for him, I’m a subcontractor, for shit’s sake! Talk to him!
ABADDON
You force people to be adjusted to fit the system and those outside the system are bad.
TECHNICIAN
I don’t care about the system! I got diabetes, I need some sugar, I’m starting to pass out.
Abaddon continues to drag him along.
TECHNICIAN
I got kids, man! I gotta get them from school! I can’t be late.
Abaddon drags him to the edge of a collapsed cave. It is dark and you cannot see the bottom of the hole.
TECHNICIAN
(Sobbing) Please let me go. I won’t tell anybody. We both gotta go, we could be cut off. That fire could be here, please let me go.
ABADDON
Fire makes gold.
He picks up the tech and throws him down the hole. There is a short scream that is suddenly cut off.
ABADDON
Fire burns clean.
END OF COLD OPENING
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DEB STENARD’S SCARY-AS-HELL SCENE: LESSON 14
What I learned doing this assignment is: this process is genius. I have never written a scene so fast, mostly because I never had a map before.
MY EXAMPLE- ISOLATED/PURSUED
FROM SURPRISE TO HYSTERIA
The front gate Technician working alone at the estate, is menaced, and then chased by the local weirdo who just happens to have rabies.
SURPRISE/SCARE- the technician is working all by himself on the electronic front gate. This gate will finally close the Spite Fence the billionaire has had erected in order to close off his development from the locals. It also blocks off local access to most of the mountain. As he hangs on the gate, working on the innards, it suddenly starts to close, almost crushing him.
RELEASE- the gate stops moving and the tech realizes that it is being pushed open by a strange looking guy in battle fatigues.
The tech tries to bond with the guy over being fellow vets. The local is moving oddly, and drooling, with jerky head movements.
ANXIETY- the tech gets a call over his walkie-talkie- that a wildfire is
Moving faster than anticipated and he’s better get his work done and get out of there. The tech tells the vet he needs to leave.
SHOCK- the tech watches as the weirdo takes a knife and slashes all the tires on his truck and then opens the hood and rips all the wires out of the engine, then setting the truck on fire.
PANIC- realizing that this guy is bat-shit crazy, the tech tries to get away from him by hitting him with a crowbar and then running away into the woods.
DREAD- as he runs, he keeps trying to raise someone on his walkie-talkie- but gets no response.
SUSPENSE- he stops to get his bearing and try to catch his breath. He hears crashing coming through the bushes. Arms himself with the crowbar, ready to fight,
RELEASE- It turns out to be a deer. He relaxes.
HORROR- is terrified when he turns around and is faced with the drooling weirdo. The weirdo knocks him down and hogties him.
ANGUISH -the weirdo drones on about how he’s going to punish the billionaire who built the fence, because he is cutting off access to the mountain. The tech says he’s not the owner, he only works for him. He’s only doing his job.
HYSTERIA- the tech is bleeding from cuts all over his body. He’s starting to get weak from loss of blood. He says he has diabetes and needs an insulin shot, and he has kids and has to pick them up from school and they both need to leave because of the fire approaching.
They have reached the edge of a collapsed cave. The weirdo says that the tech worries too much. He picks hm up and throws the tech down into the hole. There is a scream that is cut off short.
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DEB STENARD’S SCARES, RELEASES, AND CREEPY MOMENTS
What I learned in doing this assignment was- ALWAYS CAREFULLY READ THE ASSIGNMENT! I am getting more and more ideas for the script for when I actually write it.
OUTLINE:
EMOTIONAL-
The original group- Carl, Louis, Evabeth and Amber, decide to explore the grounds of the hotel. They are walking through the woods when they start to small something horrible. They comment that a small like that must come from something big. It smells really bad.
As they continue to walk, Evabeth, who is actually from the area, tells them a local legend about some kids who got lost years ago and where never found. The locals claim the children were kidnapped by a cult and sacrificed. They see something white at the base of a tree and the Boss (Carl) orders the Second-in-Command (Louis) t go see what it is. He leans over to look at it and is startled to see if it s bleached skull. He says it looks like something has been gnawing on it. Evabeth screams that it might be one of the sacrificed kids.
RELEASES-
Suddenly a rat jumps out from under the skull and runs away, scaring them.
CREEPY MOMENTS-
GROSS OUT
Amber says it’s not a human skull, it’s probably a raccoon or a skunk. As they continue walking, the bad small gets even stronger.
They come across animal corpses strung up on a branch. They are disgusting, old and dried out. Not making the smell that seems to be all around them.
UNNERVING CHARACTER-
They walk in another direction and find the woodland camp of a HOMELESS PERSON. He explains that the animals are his. He’s drying out the skins to make a coat for the winter. Carl says if he doesn’t get off his land, the sheriff to throw him in jail.
The Homeless Person claims Los Vigilantes Oscuros will protect him. When they ask him what the hell they are, he says they are the Dark Watchers that live in caves and eat people who get lost in the woods.
EXT. WOODS BEHIND THE RESORT – DAY
Carl strides ahead of the group, whacking at the underbrush with his walking stick.
CARL
Louis: make a note. Before we officially open up for business, I want all these woods cleared, so they don’t look so wild.
AMBER
Don’t you advertise the resort as native and unspoiled?
CARL
I don’t want them to look dirty.
AMBER
(Muttering) What a tool.
As they continue to explore, the wind changes and they notice a smell.
CARL
What the hell is that stink?
LOUIS
Not me, Mr. Adderman.
AMBER
He who smelt it, dealt it.
They continue walking, the smell continues to get stronger.
EVABETH
That smell might be something dead.
CARL
Like what? That’s a pretty big stink for a bird or a rabbit.
LOUIS
Or a cow.
CARL
A cow? What the hell would a cow be doing out in the woods?
EVABETH
Don’t smell like an animal to me. When I was little, there was a legend that some kids got lost years ago and never were found.
AMBER
You’re from here?
EVABETH
Born and bred. I’m the one who told Mr. Adderman that this whole property might be for sale.
CARL
I thought it might be ripe for development.
He says “ripe”and grabs Evabeth’s rear end and squeezes it.
LOUIS
But they never found those kids.
EVABETH
People claimed they were kidnapped by a cult and sacrificed. That happened way back when hippies were roaming around these parts.
AMBER
Yeah, hippies were big on human sacrifice.
Suddenly, she sees something white at the base of a tree.
AMBER
What the hell it that?
CARL
What is what?
AMBER
That white thing. Over at the base of that tree, In the leaves.
They peer at it, no one wanting to go over and investigate.
EVABETH
Careful, might be a skunk.
LOUIS
That could account for the smell.
EVABETH
Only if it was a dead skunk.
Carl poke Louis with his stick.
CARL
Go over and investigate.
LOUIS
Me?
CARL
Yes, It’s your job.
AMBER
Was that in the job description- “must be willing to investigate creepy dead stuff”?
Carl pokes Louis again.
CARL
Hurry up.
Louis reluctantly creep over to see what it is.
LOUIS
Oh my God. It’s a skull. A small bleached skull. Looks like something has been gnawing on it.
Evabeth lets out a shrill scream.
EVABETH
It’s one of them kids! The Hippies killed and ate it.
Suddenly, a large RAT jumps out from under the skull. They all scream and fall over themselves to get out of the way.
After a breath, Amber starts to laugh and points at the skull.
AMBER
That’s ain’t no dead kid. Look at the teeth! If that’s a kid, then they need to get braces.
Carl smashes the skull in a fit of anger with his stick.
CARL
Louis! Make a note! No dead animals allowed on my property!
LOUIS
Yes, Mr. Adderman
They continue walking. As they round a large tree, they see dried dead animal corpses hanging from a branch. Raccoons, rabbits, rats, squirrels, possums, you name it.
CARL
So that’s what’s making that small!
EVABETH
I don’t think so. Look at them. Those are all dried out. Ain’t nothing left to small.
AMBER
Why would someone hang them out like that?
Suddenly, from around the other side of the tree, a weird HOMELESS GUY appears. He is wearing a scruffy coat, obviously made from dead animal skins.
HOMELESS GUY
Keep your hands off them skins!
AMBER
No problem.
CARL
What are you doing on my property?
HOMELESS GUY
Just trying to survive.
CARL
Didn’t you see the fence.
HOMELESS GUY
Sure! But I’m so skinny, I just slipped through like a snake.
CARL
Louis, make a note. Electrify the fence.
LOUIS,
Mr. Adderman, I don’t think that’s legal. We could kill a guest.
CARL
At least get this drifter off the property and see he can’t sneak through the fence again.
LOUIS
Right now, Mr. Adderman?
HOMELESS GUY
You can’t touch me. I’m protected by Los Vigilantes Oscuros.
AMBER
Who are Los Vigilantes Oscuros?
HOMELESS GUY
The Dark Watchers. The people who used to live in these mountains, until they were driven off. But they never really left.
EVABETH
Maybe they took them kids.
HOMELESS GUY
The Dark Watchers live in caves and holes. They eat people who get lost in the woods. But I never get lost.
He laughs.
AMBER
Sweetie, you got lost a long time ago.
-
DEB STENARD’S LEVEL 3 HORROR EMOTIONS SCENE
What I learned doing his assignment is: when I started the class, I didn’t really have a fully formed idea for a horror film. Have never written one before, not my strong point. Still not complete, but with these steps, I am getting there.
ACT 3
INT. RECEPTION AREA – DAY
Carl tentatively creeps into the reception area, his eyes darting from side to side. A bird flies through the atrium, causing him to jump. He huddles behind the front desk.
He eyes light on the phone with buttons labeled GARAGE, HOUSEKEEPING, POWER PLANT, KITCHEN, EXECUTIVE SUITE, etc. He hits them one by one, calling hysterically into the phone.
CARL
Hello, hello? Is anyone there?
Hits another, making sure to avoid the one marked KITCHEN.
CARL
Gloria, Evabeth, Amber? Is anyone here? Am I alone?
Carl starts to shake.
CARL
They left me! They ran off and left me! I’ve never been alone in my life. I’m alone with a maniac who’s going to kill me and chop me up and eat me and I can’t reach anyone and I’m going to die in a goddam LOBBY.
Hits all the buttons at once and cries into the receiver.
CARL
Isn’t anyone here at all?
Suddenly a voice comes out of the phone.
GLORIA (O.S.)
Adderman, where are you?
CARL
You left me here, you bitch!
GLORIA (O.S.)
Temper, temper. Where’s Louis?
CARL
The monster got him. I couldn’t save him, wasn’t my fault!
GLORIA (O.S.)
Carl: calm down. Where are you?
CARL
In the lobby.
GLORIA (O.S.)
Ok, listen: I want you to come to the place where you hid your wallet. Do you hear me? Where you HID your WALLET.
CARL
Why are you saying it like that?
GLORIA (O.S.)
Because I don’t want to broadcast it over the entire resort. Idiot.
CARL
If I move, he’ll find me. I order you to come save me!
INT. PANIC ROOM – DAY
Gloria and the girls are in the massive safe Panic room installed the Executive Suite. There is a TV screen that allows Gloria to see the lobby, and other rooms in the resort. She can see Carl crouching behind the reception desk and Abaddon drooling and twitching in the kitchen.
GLORIA
Carl. I’m going to come get you. Stay where you are. You’re safe.
She hangs up the phone.
GLORIA
I’m gonna to go get that troglodyte which I hope I don’t regret. Don’t open the door unless I say sesame. NO ONE ELSE. Only if I say it.
AMBER
Why no one else?
GLORIA
Because I don’t put it past Adderman to double-cross me to save himself. Lock The door after me!
EVABETH
Where’s Louis?
Gloria opens the complicated locks on the door.
GLORIA
He didn’t make it.
She leaves and shuts the door behind her. Amber jumps up to lock the door. Her shoulders are shaking.
EVABETH
Amber, are you crying for Louis?
Amber wipes her eyes.
AMBER
I came with him this weekend, because I thought I could use him to get a job with Adderman. I barely knew him and now he’s dead!
The two girls hug each other.
INT. RECEPTION AREA – DAY
Gloria cautiously creeps into the reception area, holding a metal curtain rod with an end cap on it shaped like a spear.
GLORIA
(Whispering) Adderman. Adderman,
CARL
(Whispering) How do I know it’s you?
GLORIA
You pay me twelve dollars an hour and I don’t get health care.
Carl cautiously moves out from behind the desk.
GLORIA
I have the girls in the panic room. We’ll be safe there while we figure out what to do. Come on.
CARL
No, no we should leave now!
GLORIA
And leave those two girls behind?
CARL
They’ll be safe there, you said so.
GLORIA
I will shove this curtain rod up your crap cannon. MOVE IT.
She prods him into moving.
INT: EXECUTIVE SUITE – DAY
Gloria cautiously, with Carl pushing to get in behind her.
CARL
They’re not here! He got them, he came in here and found them! He killed them and ripped apart their bodies and ate them like a wolf!
Gloria puts down the spear, and holds Carl’s face between her hands.
GLORIA
They’re in the Panic Room. He didn’t get them, they’re OK.
Carl calms down. Gloria hauls off and slaps him. Hard.
CARL
I was calm, why did you do that?!
GLORIA
I felt like it.
She goes to the big door, knocks on it.
AMBER (O.C.)
Who it is?
GLORIA
Sesame. Open up.
The door opens slowly to reveal the two girls.
EVABETH
We were watching the cameras. He’s not in the kitchen any more.
CARL
Where is he?
All the lights go off, the AC powers down and the camera screen go black.
GLORIA
The Power Plant. That settles it, we gotta get out of here now.
EVABETH
But what if he catches us outside?
AMBER
He can catch us a lot easier in here with no power. I say we go.
EVABETH
If Gloria say so.
CARL
I’m staying here.
Gloria picks up the spear and the women all start to leave.
CARL
Wait! What about me?
AMBER
You can stay, but you’ll totally Kobayashi Maru it.
EVABETH
I did not peg you for a Trekkie.
They leave the room.
INT: THE ATRIUM – AFTERNOON
The group are walking silently through the atrium, skirting the koi pond in the middle. There are massive tress and ferns and plants and it is hard to see 5 feet in front of you.
GLORIA
Be careful, everyone. Don’t fall in the koi pond. Why they built it without a lip, I will never know.
CARL
That was my design esthetic.
AMBER
Figures.
Gloria is in the lead, then Carl and the two girls coming behind. Suddenly, a scarred hand comes out of nowhere, grabs at Evabeth and pulls her in the bushes.
INT: CLEARING – AFTERNOON
Evabeth turns around to see a horribly burned face and drooling mouth, red and scarred. The mouth moves.
LOUIS
Help me.
OMG. It’s Louis. She lets out a scream. Gloria and the others rush in. Carl grabs the spear from Gloria and plunges it into Louis’ mouth and out the other side of his head. He drops into the koi pond.
EVABETH
You said he was dead!
CARL
I thought he was!
AMBER
He is now.
GLORIA
Thank God.
-
I just realized that I read the lesson incorrectly and wrote the script, NOT THE OUTLINE. But I feel i did incorporate everything that was in the lesson. Apologies
-
-
DEB STENARD’S Level 2 HORROR EMOTION Scene
What I learned in doing this scene is:
it is getting easier and easier to write the scene with all this roadmap that we are learning.I am very excited to keep going forward
ACT 2 EXT. BACKWOODS – DAY
Gloria grabs the two girls by the hand and starts to drag them back to the resort.
Carl:
Where the hell do you think you’re going?
Gloria:
Away from here, where the hell do you think we’re going?
Carl:
I’m not going to let that diseased putz push mearound. We’re going to fight!
Gloria:
With what?
She drags the unprotesting girls with her towards the resort.
Carl:
Better to have them out of the way. We can takecare of this douchenoggin ourselves.
Louis:
But Gloria said we’d be safer in the resort.That guy is sick with rabies, he’s unstoppable!
Carl:
Listen, I don’t care if that old gasbag wants togo hidey-hidey with the girls. We’re the MEN here and we’re going to take careof that diseased dickass ourselves!
Carl strides off towards the fence, Louis scurries behind.
Louis:
Maybe we shoudl try to call the authorities or someone.
Carl:
How? Tie two cans together with string andthrow them over the fence? The cell tower is DOWN, you half-wit. You’re not even a half-wit. You’re some kind of metric wit.
Louis:
Maybe we can try to get out through the woodsto get help.
Carl:
There. Is. A. Fence. EVERYWHERE. That’s why I built it like this. So no one could get it who couldn’t afford it! Are we going to leave the girls here? That’s a cowardly thing to do. Besides, there might be more of those stick traps.
Louis looks fearfully around, afraid to move in any direction.
Louis:
Maybe we can lock ourselves in a room until help comes.
Carl:
Who knows when that might be, Bieber? I’m a man and you’re something approximating a man, so what we have to do it fight. Like men.
Carl picks up a stick from the ground and swishes it around like some preppy ninja. Something flies off the sticks and lands on Louis’sf ace. He scrapes it off and looks at it.
Louis:
(Quietly) Oh my God.
Carl is still flailing around.
Carl:
What?
Louis:
This is brains. This is someone’s brains!
Screaming, he flings it at Carl and hits his mouth. Carl immediately spits it out and gags.
Carl:
WHAT THE FUCKING HELL, LOUIS!! It went in mymouth!
Louis:
That guy is a zombie, eating people’s brains! He’s insanely strong, he’s sick with some weird disease and he can kick BOTH our asses!
He throws a pathetic punch at Carl, missing him competely. Collapses on the ground, crying.
Carl: Wow, Louis. You just tried to punch your boss. Maybe you do have some ‘nads after all. Ok, so this guy is strong, but he’s human. He can die.
Louis:
How are we going to kill him?
Carl picks up the stick again and then throws it down after seeing more goo on it.
Carl:
WE GET WEAPONS, of course, you zero!
Louis:
Where do we find weapons in a luxury resort?(under his breath) Fuckwad.
Carl hits him with a “dong” on the head.
Carl:
Ever hear of a kitchen? Pots and pans. Fire extinguishers. KNIVES. Big, sharp, you’re dead knives. Get moving.
Carl pushes Louis and they start off towards the buildings.
int. Kitchen – day
The main lights are out and only the red, blinking emergency lights are working in the kitchen. There are dark corners and closed doors and odd sounds. There are giant walk-ins, probably filled with food. There is af ryolater next to a giant 8 burner stove. Metal prep tables. The two men look for things to use against rabid Abaddon.
Carl:
Where are the knives?
Louis
:How should I know?
Carl smacks Louis.
Carl:
Don’t get bitchy with me, little girl. I can still fire you.
Louis:Go ahead.c
Carl:
What?
Louis:
Go head. Fire me. I do everything you ask, you treat me like shit, you drag me to this death trap, we have no idea where this maniac is and I do not want to die!
Louis starts to head for a door across the room.
Carl:
Where are you going?
Louis:
I’m going to try to find Gloria and the girls. She knows what she’s doing.
Louis reaches out for the door handle.
Carl:
What’s behind that door?
Louis:
A way out!
He starts to pull the handle.
Carl:
Are you sure? Maybe it’s the boogeyman.
Louis freezes.
Carl:
There are two doors. Either way could be a way out. Which one did we come in?
Louis(crying) I don’t remember.
Carl:
Where are you going to find Gloria?
Louis:
I don’t know. I just want to leave. I don’tl ike it in here. It scares me.
Carl:
Crybaby scared of the dark. Crybaby.
Louis:
Stop.
Carl:
Crybaby Louis.
Louis:
Stop!
Carl:
Calling for his mommy crybaby.
Louis:
DON’T CALL ME THAT!
He whirls around, yanks open a drawer, sticks in hin his hand and pulls out a knife. Louis:
Don’t call me anything but Louis!
Louis is facing Carl and doesn’t notice the one of the door start to open.
Carl:
Louis…
Louis:
That’s right. Louis. Call me LOUIS!
Carl:
(whispering) Louis.
The door fully opens and Abaddon is standing in the doorway.
Louis:
SAY IT LOUDER- LOUIS!
Carl:
(Screaming) LOUIS!!!
Abaddon lumbers into the room and crushes Louis from behind,l ocking his arms to his sides.l
Louis:
MR. ADDREMAN, HELP!
Carl:
LOUIS, THROW ME THE KNIFE! I’LL STAB HIM. THROW IT!
Louis throws the knife as well as he can, while struggling the hulking Abaddon. The knife skitters across the floor where Carl can reach it.
Louis:
Mr. Adderman, help! I can’t breathe!
Carl reaches the knife and picks it up. He works his way around the room, out of the reach of Abaddon and the struggling Louis, until he is at the door.
Carl:
Sorry Louis. The whole company depends on me. I can’t let all those people lose their jobs just to save you.
He runs out the door, slamming it shut behind him. Abaddon carries the struggling Louis over to the stove area.l
Louis:
Please let me go! I didn’t do anything! Mr. Adderman is the one you want! He built the fence.
Abaddon is drooling, his eyes roll back into his head. His gestures are spasmodic and jerky. He looks sideways at the hot oil in the fryolater.
Abaddon:
Name.
Louis(
Crying) My name is Louis.
Abaddon tips the limp Louis head down into the hot oil. It bubbles up, spitting and steaming as Louis’ flesh is burnt. Adabbon drops the limp body of Louis on the floor.
Abaddon:
Don’t cry, Louis.
-
DEB STENARD’S LEVEL 1 HORROR EMOTION SCENE
What I learned in doing this assignment is: I keep saying, this is all like a reaod map. I’m having so much fun foloowing the map. No stress, just trying to watch my spelling mistakes!
EXT. WOODS BEHIND RESORT – DAY
CARL pushes his way through the thick underbrush, as LOUIS, EVABETH and AMBER struggle to keep up.
EVABETH:
Mr. Adderman. Wait! I wouldn’t go that way if I were you.
LOUIS:
This is his property, so he can walk wherever he wants. I guess Mr. Adderman knows where he is going.
Louis hurries to catch to catch up
AMBER:
Think he know he’s walking through a patch of poison ivy.
The two women trudge behind the two men.
AMBER:
So, which one do you think is the bigger douchebag- mine or yours?
EVABETH:
Don’t you like Louis?
AMBER:
I like vacations at luxury resorts and I don’t much care who brings me, as long as all expenses are paid.
EVABETH:
I’m not sure how I feel about Mr. Adderman. He sort of reminds me of my Daddy.
AMBER:
Do you love your Daddy?
EVABETH:
I hate him.
AMBER
You and I are gonna be friends.
Suddenly, there is a loud rustling in the bushes ahead.
Carl and Louis stop and the women catch up.
CARL:
What the hell is that?
LOUIS:
What is what, sir?
CARL:
That noise, you imbecile. Over there.
Louis is reluctant to investigate.
LOUIS:
Do you want me to go over and check?
CARL:
Yes. We’ll wait here.
Louis slowly starts to advance on the bushes.
EVABETH:
Louis, I wouldn’t go over there if I were you. Could be a skunk or a bobcat. Maybe a cougar or coyotes. We got wolves, and badgers, Even deer can be dangerous in the rutting season.
CARL:
What are you, recording a podcast? What the hell is the “rutting season”?
AMBER:
It means fucking.
The bushes are really shaking now. The women pick up big sticks. The men stand behind the women.
Suddenly, two baby raccoons come waddling out of the bush.
CARL:
Jesus, it’s nothing but a couple of raccoons. Louis, get rid of them!
Louis picks up his own stick and starts for the two babies.
EVABETH:
Louis, I wouldn’t go near them if I was you. Their mama is probably around here somewhere.
Louis reaches the two frightened babies and picks up one in his hand.
LOUIS:
What’s a tiny little trash panda gonna do to me?
A hiss, a snarl and the avenging mama raccoon launches herself onto Louis’ back, scratching and biting at his head. He screams and rolls on the ground, trying to get her off.
Evabeth grabs the squalling mother by the scruff of her neck and throws her into the bushes. The two youngsters quickly follow in her wake.
Louis is bleeding from several wounds.
AMBER:
We’d better head back and get those bites taken care of. They could become infected.
CARL:
I’m not done exploring. We don’t have to go back. Louis isn’t a pussy, are you, Louis?
LOUIS
No, Mr. Adderman.
The group continues to push through the brush.
CARL:
God, what is that stink? Louis, you didn’t crap your pants back there dancing with that bush rat, did you?
Louis’ pants are pee-stained.
LOUIS:
No sir, I did not crap my pants.
AMBER:
Tomato, to-mah-to.
But she hands him a bandana to bind his cuts.
EVABETH:
Mr. Adderman is right. There is a smell coming from somewhere up ahead.
AMBER:
That’s smells like something dead.
CARL:
How would you know what death smells like?
AMBER:
You don’t want to know.
CARL:
Ooh, tough girl. Oh Jeez, that wind is blowing that stick right in my face!
EVABETH:
Must be big to smell that bad.
CARL:
Louis, go check it out.
LOUIS:
Me, sir?
CARL:
You expect me to go? Or the women? If you need motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.
Evabeth gives Louis her stick. Louis slowly advances forward, pushing the stick before him.
CARL:
Ha! He looks like my grandmother going to the toilet at night.
AMBER:
Adderman. Adder. An adder is a kind of snake, isn’t it?
Carl scowls at her.
CARL:
Dammit Louis, have you found anything?
LOUIS:
(calling over his shoulder) No , sir, but the smell is getting stronger.
Suddenly, Louis drops completely out of sight. The three others are frozen.
AMBER:
What the hell happened?
EVABETH:
There’s a lot of old sinkholes and collapsed caves around these parts. Maybe he fell in one.
CARL:
Well, go find him!
The women start to move forward, slowly and carefully.
AMBER:
(muttering) Carl isn’t a pussy, are you, Carl?
The women walk forward and suddenly, both of them cry out in fright. Carl rushed to them.
CARL:
What is it?
They are looking down into a partially hidden “tiger trap”. A natural hollow into which someone has propped up sharpened sticks in the bottom.
Louis is hanging onto some exposed roots coming out of the sides of hole, desperately trying not to fall.
LOUIS:
(whispering) Please. Help. I’m slipping.
Amber lies down on her stomach and reaches down to grab one of Louis’ wrists.
AMBER
Adderman, grab my legs and pull me back! I can’t pull him up by myself.
Carl grabs Amber’s legs and slowly pulls her back. Evabeth leans down and grabs Louis’ other hand.
LOUIS:
That smell is really strong down here. I think I’m going to throw up!
AMBER:
Louis, don’t you dare puke in my face! Turn you head to the right if you’re gonna barf.
EVABETH:
Whatever you do, don’t turn your head to the left.
LOUIS:
What’s to my left?
Louis ignores Evabeth and turns his head to the left.
The skewered and rotting face of some dead stranger is propped up on the spikes in the trap. Maggots and flies cover his skull and something has eaten his tongue. Or what’s left of it. Louis throws up.
-
DEB STENARD – HORROR OUTLINE VERSION 1
What I learned in doing this assignment is: by having this roadmap, so to speak, I know pretty much how to go forward and do a readable first draft. No guesswork! I’m excited to keep going.
“SPITE FENCE”
INT. RESORT RECEPTION – DAY
The Big Boss(CARL) leads the others into the lobby. They are met by GLORIA, the concierge and DIESEL, the local-yokel security guard. Carl asks where’s the male concierge he hired? GLORIA explains the man he hired was driven off by a weird local who threatened him for desecrating “his” land. Diesel says the guy is a Army vet with mental problems. Claims the whole mountain is sacred land and Carl desecrated it when he built the giant fence to keep out the natives. Carl dismisses the vet as a kook.
Carl says the Gloria can stay until he can get a real professional to take her place. Carl orders Gloria to bring the bags up to the guest rooms while they go exploring.
EXT. WOODS BEHIND RESORT – DAY
Carl pushes his way through the forest as his SECOND-IN-COMMAND(LOUIS) hurries along behind him, leaving the two WOMEN (EVABETH and AMBER) to struggle to catch up.
Evabeth, who is from the area, warns the men to be careful, because the area is know for sinkholes. Carl pushes Louis to go ahead of him. Louis rushes forward but suddenly disappears from view.
The two women run to where they saw him disappear. He’s fallen into a sinkhole, hanging on to exposed tree roots to avoid falling to the bottom. Amber reaches down to help Louis climb out, when Evabeth SCREAMS in terror. The bottom of the hole is a booby trap of sharpened sticks. Impaled on the sticks is a body.
Amber pulls Louis to safety, and then tries to comfort the shaken Evabeth. Carl cooly take pictures of the dead body with his phone, complaining that someone will pay for this “prank”. Amber says the guy in the pit probably didn’t think it was a prank.
INT. RESORT RECEPTION – DAY
Th four explorers return to the resort. Carl blusters in to reception, shouting for Gloria. When she appears, he demands to know who the dead guy is in the pit, and shoves his phone in her face.
She recognizes the dead guy as the electronic expert who came yesterday to connect the special lock for the front gate. She assumed he did his job and left, because his truck was gone when she checked.
The young girls are freaking out and want to leave. Carl is pissed that his sexy weekend looks like it is ruined. Louis offers the girls money if they will stay. Amber is all for taking the money, but Evabeth insists on leaving. Carl instructs Diesel to drive the girls to the local bus station and get rid of them. Diesel piles the girls in the SUV and heads down the driveway to the gate.
EXT. DRIVEWAY – DAY
Carl watches them drive away, blaming Louis, Gloria, the dead guy, everything for ruining his sexy weekend. They see the SUV stop at the gate but nothing happens.
Gloria calls down to Diesel to find out what’s wrong. He doesn’t now, the gate won’t open. Gloria says that maybe if he can climb the fence he can open it from the other side.
Diesel carefully climbs the fence, while carl scream that his gate should be impenetrable. Gloria says its lucky Diesel can climb the fence or they would all be stuck there until another repair guy could come out.
Diesel reaches the top of the fence, balancing his feet between the razor-sharp spikes on the top of the fence. Suddenly an arrow cut through the air and pierces his thigh. He screams, topples and impales his chest on the fence spikes. He hangs there, as his life twitches out of his body.
More arrows come winging through the air, striking the ground near the girls. They scream and race back towards the front entrance, Gloria running towards them, dodging arrows. Carl and Louis run into the lobby, locking and barricading the door so the women can’t get in. The men refuse to open it.
But Gloria knows all the exits and entrances of the resort and pulls the girls around the side to safety.
A grappling hook flies over the gate and attaches to the top.
As the men inside the lobby watch, a giant hulk of a man, wearing a WOLF MASK and carrying a crossbow, climbs up and over the fence, drops down and stares at the front door. He loads an arrow into the bow, aims and shoots.
INT. RESORT RECEPTION -DAY
As the two men watch, the tip of the arrow slams into the door with such force, the tip can be seen protruding through the heavy wooden door,
-
DEB STENARD’S LESSON #8- MY CHARACTER’S JOURNEY TRACK
WHAT I LEARNED IN DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT:
This is really like having a point-by-point road map in how to write a horror script. I’m not saying it is easy. But this is showing me the tools on how to make it work and not have to finish a script and realize that I have no structure in it after all that work.
CHARACTERS:
CARRIER: The Billionaire, utter disregard for the locals, BRINGS THE HORROR TO THE GROUP by building a “spite fence” and angering the Prepper.
1. ROLE: CARRIER
2. TRAITS: Bully, Corrupt, Narcissist
3. FEARS: Rejection, getting called out on his fears. Conflict
4. WANTS/NEEDS: respect, to be admired, to control everyone else
5. LIKABILITY/ROOTING FACTORS: We really want hm to be the first to die. He’ll help others if it helps him in the process
6. HOW HE REACTS UNDER STRESS: Rage, Anger, screaming
7. RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHER CHARACTERS: He is the absolute boss. In total control of everyone and everything. Ignores everyone else’s needs and fears.
OUT OF CONTROL/OBNOXIOUS: The Second-In-Command is a boot-licking sycophant, who pushes the Prepper beyond the limit of his control, in order to gain points with his boss.
1. ROLE: OUT OF CONTROL/OBNOXIOUS
2. TRAITS: follows orders, sycophant, hates anyone who is different than the norm, closet-racist.
3. FEARS: His place stolen by someone less worthy, being laughed at, fears that others not like him will take over.
4. WANTS/NEEDS: to have the important people love and respect him, to be close to power, to be feared
5. LIKABILITY/ROOTING FACTORS: he likes animals, which will lead to his downfall
6. HOW HE REACTS UNDER STRESS: falling apart, begging someone else to take over, fear
7. RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHER CHARACTERS: He sticks to the Billionaire like glue, will do anything he asks, however revolting and heinous. Hates the others before they can hate him.
INNOCENT: Billionaire’s current sex plaything, Thinks she did a good thing by telling her boyfriend about the mountain community she grew up in, not realizing he will destroy it for money and greed.
1. ROLE: INNOCENT
2. TRAITS: believes in the good in everyone. Nice to a fault. Gullible. Makes excuses for bad behaviors.
3. FEARS: Being hurt. Being alone. Losing her belief in humanity
4. WANTS/NEEDS: to have someone to love unconditionally. To live in a fairy-tale world, where everyone is kind and happy and no one is mean or evil.
5. LIKABILITY/ROOTING FACTOR: genuinely nice and will help anyone. Gives people the benefit of the doubt.
6. HOW SHE REACTS UNDER STRESS: does whatever the person in control asks of her, no matter what.
7. RELATIONSHIP TO OTHER CHARACTERS; Friends with everyone.
MONSTER BAIT: The secretary/girlfriend of Second-in- Command, only going with the S-in-C until someone better comes along. Hates the Great Outdoors, hates anything not Instagram-able, continually takes stupid chances.
1. ROLE- MONSTER BAIT
2. TRAITS: looks out for herself, opportunist, streetwise
3. FEARS: being exposed as a poseur, being poor again, having to really work for a living
4. WANTS/NEEDS: security, confidence, to feel safe
5. LIKABILITY/ROOTING FACTOR- Funny, loudmouth, able to think on the quick, will help someone if it helps her.
6. HOW SHE REACTS UNDER STRESS: the veneer of sophistication falls away and she is back to being a hardened street fighter. She will cut a bitch.
7. RELATIONSHIP TO OTHER CHARACTERS: is able to figure everyone out immediately and will try to help someone is she can. Falls back into her GANG IS FAMILY mentality.
COMPLAINER: the local yokel who latches onto a good thing when he sees it. A real suck-up, is able to look like he is working hard when he is hardly working
1. ROLE: COMPLAINER
2. TRAITS: always wants something for nothing. A beggar with his hand out. A whiner.
3. FEARS: finally realizing that no one is going to help him. Not being able to get something for nothing.
4. WANTS/NEEEDS: money and a good time. To learn to take care of himself.
5. LIKABILITY/ROOTING FACTOR: doesn’t care if someone doesn’t like him, there is always someone else coming along he can beg from.
6. HOW HE REACTS UNDER STRESS: he lets everyone else take charge and will follow orders until something better comes along.
7. RELATIONSHIP TO OTHER CHARACTERS: knows that most people are hip to his faults but doesn’t care. Has no self-respect.
RESCUER: the mature woman who had a bad divorce and had to take a job that gives her a place to live and security.
1. ROLE- RESCUER
2. TRAITS: can take care of everything, can do a little bit of anything, will go forward through her fears, will protect the innocent if she can.
3. FEARS: being dependent on someone else, being old and sick. Having o ask for help.
4. WANTS/NEEDS: wants a good paying job. Needs to feel secure and to find a home
5. LIKABILITY/ROOTING FACTORS: no nonsense, practical. Does not suffer fools gladly. Can take care of herself and will help others.
6. HOW THEY REACT UNDER STRESS: like a good sergeant in a WW2 movie. Knows how to take care of her squad. Knows other people’s breaking point and will not push them past it.
7. RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHER CHARACTERS; they have no idea what she is capable of. They underestimate her constantly.
1. CHARACTER INTRO:
THE BILLIONAIRE (I haven’t picked anyone’s names yet): Finds out his newest giant development will wipe out the cave habitat of a protected type of Bat in California. He bribes the government official in charge to give him the permits anyway. He celebrates by making his current girlfriend wear a Batgirl costume while they have sex.
2. DENIAL: When he is told that the illegal fence he has built around the development has angered the locals, he organizes a trip to the partially finished hotel to see what is going on for himself.
3. BILLIONAIRE REACTION TO FIRST HORROR: he is angry that his plans for a fun, sexy weekend are getting messed up. He screams at everyone involved, claiming someone is going to pay for this,
4. RESPONSE TO FIRST HORROR: Forces the newly hired security guard to investigate the problem and fix it or else lose his plushy job.
5. RELATION TO GROUP AFTER FIRST HORROR: He is angry they are concerned with their own survival and not fixated on protecting him
6. REACTION AS HORROR INCREASES: Loses his mind and forces he Second-in-Command to form a due to fight the monster man with weapons they can find in the kitchen. He eventually leaves the S-in-C to be killed by the Monster so that he can escape.
7. HOW HE FIGHTS BACK: refuses to let the women burn expensive valuables in order to signal the police. He wants to wait for police to come and DO THEIR JOB.
8. END POINT: While trying to save his material things, he is caught by the monster and thrown onto a bonfire and is burned to death
9. INSIGHT FROM DEATH: material things will not save your life in a fight to the death
OUT OF CONTROL/OBNOXIOUS: Second-in-Command is a boot-licking sycophant.
1.CHARACTER INTRO: Knows that the boss’s latest project is an environmental and PR disaster waiting to happen and doesn’t care. But easily goes Infront of the press to answer questions with the glibness of a White House Press Secretary.
2. DENIAL: when the boss asks him if there are any problems with the locals about the giant fence that is being erected around the property, he denies anything is wrong and only tells the Boss what he wants to hear..
3. HIS REACTION TO FIRST HORROR: after seeing the dead body of the contractor in the tiger pit, he gets weirdly excited and continually talks about it to his disgusted girlfriend.
4. RELATIONSHIP TO THE GROUP AFTER THE FIRST HORROR; Because they are disgusted, he pumps himself up to be a big man, not afraid of anything. But they can see through him like glass.
5. REACTION AS HORROR INCREASES: realized he is over his head and his macho posturing has not prepared him for this. He sticks close to the Billionaire, thinking that the boss will get him out of this nightmare.
6. HOW HE FIGHTS BACK: he will do anything to save himself but has no idea how to do it smartly. Doesn’t understand that watching movies is not the same as Special Ops training.
87 END POINT: because he is the least liked character, he gets two horrible deaths! Comes back from the first horrible death and is killed by mistake by the others.
8. WHAT INSIGHT DO THEIR DEATHS OR SURVIVAL BRING TO THE OTHERS/AUDIENCE: don’t be a dick. Every man for himself can be really lonely.
INNOCENT: is a goldfish in a pool of sharks. Thinks everyone really wants to be nice.
!. CHARACTER INTRO: Tells her Billionaire boyfriend about the idyllic mountain community she grew up in, never realizing that he will exploit and her and everyone who lives there, just to make a profit. And doesn’t believe it when her old friends shun her because what is.
2. DENIAL: She tries to make local protestors realize they are wrong, the man she loves could never be a brutal exploiter. Is astonished when someone pelts her with mud from the development.
3. HER REACTION TO FIRST HORROR: she begins to pray for the repose of the dead man’s soul. Tells the group they can’t leave him in the pit
4. RELATION TO GROUP AFTER THE FIRST HORROR:
Keeps asking people if they are OK, if they need to talk, get their feelings out. Offers hugs.
5. REACTION AS HORROR INCREASES: realizes that the men are selfish and useless and bonds with the other two women in the hopes of survival.
6.HOW THEY FIGHT BACK: is terrified but has a child-like faith in the older man and will do whatever he says to do.
7. END POINT: After beating the burned S-in-C to death, thinking he is monster, the real monster grabs her from behind and tears out the throat.
8. WHAT INSIGHT DO THEIR DEATHS OR SURVIVAL BRING TO THE OTHERS/AUDIENCE: innocence is not valued. After a while, you have to grow up and learn to take care of yourself.
MONSTER BAIT: Second-in-Command’s annoying secretary/girlfriend who hates the great outdoors and wanted to go to CANCUN, not a CABIN. Continually takes stupid chances.
1, CHARACTER INTRO: will always look out for Number 1. She is smart, strong, and sure of herself. She dumps her nice boyfriend to go on this weekend with the S-in-C, thinking it could lead to something big.
2. DENIAL: when the Doomsday Prepper startles everyone on the way up to the resort, she says she’s seen worse down in her apartment building laundry room and he doesn’t scare her.
3. HER REACTION TO FIRST HORROR: she throws up and tells the S-in-C she never signed up for this and wants to be taken home.
4. RELATION TO GROUP AFTER THE FIRST HORROR: She realizes that the men in the group are assholes, the other girl is an airhead and her best chance of survival it to align herself to the old women who seems to know how to survive.
5. REACTION AS HORROR INCREASES: she is more and more frightened and swears she will go back to her boring, ordinary guy and appreciate him, if she ever gets out of this alive.
6. HOW THEY FIGHT BACK: she goes back to her roots and turns into the kind of fighter the older woman can depend on. They fight back in ways the men never expected.
7. END POINT: she has survived the monster, but just like the last man standing in NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, the authorities confuse her with the killer and kill her.
8. WHAT INSIGHT DO THEIR DEATHS OR SURVIVAL BRING TO THE OTHERS/AUDIENCE: Never think you’re safe until the last credit roils. There is always a surprise up someone’s sleeve.
COMPLAINER: part-time gardener/local yokel who grew up with the innocent and wants his old friend to share the wealth.
Hearing from the Innocent’s family that she will be coming to town and tries to trade on some long- ago friendship. He knows what kind of a person the Innocent is and hopes he can guilt her into helping him.
2. DENIAL: he swears that the Doomsday Prepper is just the local weirdo and would never hurt a fly. Why, they’re actually good buddies!
3. HIS REACTION TO FIRST HORROR: he can’t believe that his good buddy could be capable of this. Thinks it has to have been someone else who killed the contractor, like drug dealers and out-of-towners.
4. RELATION TO GROUP AFTER THE FIRST HORROR: Tries to calm their fears
5. REACTION AS HORROR INCREASES: begins to think he is over his head and wants to survive. Tries to figure out a way to sneak off and leave these rich folk to their fate. They deserve it more than him.
6. HOW THEY FIGHT BACK: offers to climb the fence and head back to town and get help.
7. END POINT: is shot with a crossbow arrow in the arm, loses his grip and impales himself on the spite fence spikes.
8. WHAT INSIGHT DO THEIR DEATHS OR SURVIVAL BRING TO THE OTHERS/AUDIENCE: somebody’s gotta be the first victim!
RESCUER: Mature woman who manages the estate. Has lived in the area her whole life and knows the woods and the people like the back of her hand. Including the Monster.
1. CHARACTER INTRO: knows that the Billionaire expects to see some tuxedo-dressed Concierge at his front desk. Is determined to show him that she can handle the job better than anyone else, because she know this area, these people and this mountain like the back of her hand.
2. DENIAL: doesn’t want thee to be any problems, because then she will be out of a job, and she needs this job.
3. HER REACTION TO FIRST HORROR: Oh crap. This is not good. This is gonna fuck things up big time.
4. RELATION TO GROUP AFTER THE FIRST HORROR: these out-of-town idiots have no idea what they are dealing with. She has to keep them alive if she’s going to save her job, and her own life.
5. REACTION AS HORROR INCREASES: this is too big for her. She wants to save the women because they didn’t sign up for this crap. Her mothering instincts get the best of her.
6. HOW THEY FIGHT BACK: she uses all her knowledge and skills from 65 years of life to try and save lives and get them out of there. She doesn’t care how dirty she fights.
7. END POINT: she is the only one who survives. Usually, the old folks get slaughtered or they’re the killer. Today, age has beaten evil, beauty and stupidity.
8. WHAT INSIGHT DO THEIR DEATHS OR SURVIVAL BRING TO THE OTHERS/AUDIENCE: don’t underestimate the older generation. They might have a trick or two up their sleeves.
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DEB STENARD’S LESSON 7- MONSTER REVEAL TRACK-
What I learned in doing this assignment is:
The writer/filmmakers of THE THING obviously know these steps. I am a big fan of the original THING movie from the 50’s. This one scared the crap out of me. I still have to make my monster scarier, but the section A. WHO IS YOUR MONSTER AND WHAT IS THEIR TERROR is a huge help in pushing me to think beyond the ordinary.
ASSIGNMENT 2
Take these steps to create your Monster Reveal Track.
1. Create each part of this model:
A. Who is your monster and what is their terror?
My monster is a DOOMSDAY PREPPER pushed over the edge by his fears and when he contracts an extremely potent strain of rabies
Powers?
He can hunt, shoot, had expert woodsman skills, in perfect shape. Has lost all fear due to the rabies infecting his
Limitations?
Hasn’t been off the mountain in years and cannot function around people
Weaknesses?
He cannot tolerate water, not even the sound of it. He has developed Laryngospasm and makes howling noises due to spasms in his throat
Plan/Purpose/Appetite?
To kill anyone who tries to throw him off his land.
ACT 1- SET UP FOR HORROR
ATMOSPHERE OF EVIL ESTABLISHED:
(WE NEVER SEE THE ACTUAL FACE OF THE MAN, AS HIS GOGGLES AND NECK GAITER OBSCURE IT)
A weird local is hunting in the woods with night vision goggles. He finds a den of baby raccoons and is in the act of taken them out of the nest when the mother attacks him with savage ferocity. The raccoon is foaming at the mouth as it bites the hunter over and over again. He finally manages to kill it. He takes it home, cooks it and eats it. The bite marks from the animal appear red and infected.
CONNECT WITH THE CHARACTERS:
Billionaire Developer orders his second-in-command to get two young women from the company to accompany the two men on a weekend at
the new development before it is open to the public.
1<sup>st</sup> REVEAL
As the Billionaire and his group drive up the road to the development, they see dead animals eviscerated and displayed as warning signs along the way. The size of the animal gets bigger and bigger as they drive up the road. They speculate as to who would have done such a revolting thing.
THE CHARACTERS ARE WARNED NOT TO DO IT:
After being stopped by al yokel deputy before driving up to the hotel, the group are warned that a local man is angry at the fence that was built around the development because it cuts off access to his family lands. The Billionaire hires the yokel to be the Security Guard for the weekend.
2<sup>nd</sup> REVEAL
A lawyer meets the group at the newly erected “spite fence”. He has a lawsuit filed by an environmental group, in the name of the Doomsday Prepper- BOONE TOMPKINS. The billionaire asks to meet with Boone, to try and convince him to end the lawsuit, but the lawyer refuses to have anything to do with Boone, being terrified of him.
DENIAL OF HORROR:
The Second-in-Command says the ancestral land was legally taken by eminent domain and the angry local has no recourse except to take the billionaire to court- for the next 50 years. The angry local suddenly appears in front of their car, acting odd. His eyes roll in his head, and he drools. He demands the fence be taken down, screaming that the mere presence of a fence on the mountain is an insult, and the Billionaire and his hotel are an anathema to God. The group laughs at him and drive on.
SAFETY TAKEN AWAY:
When they get to the hotel, they realize that the gate cannot be closed, because the final code has not been loaded. Even though a giant iron fence with spikes on it, surrounds the property, they can either leave the gate open or shut it manually and contact someone to come fix the code and then open the gate. The Billionaire says to leave the gate open. They can call someone to come up and fix the electronics when they get to the hotel. Inside, they meet the Concierge, who will be their private servant for the weekend. She tells them that something is wrong with the private cell tower and there is no phone or internet service.
MONSTER: NATURE OF THE BEAST
After dropping off their bags, they go for exploring around the grounds.
They find a wolf hole- a pit trap with sharpened sticks in the bottom and in the pit is the electronic specialist who was supposed to add the code to lock the gate. He is very dead.
3<sup>RD</sup> REVEAL
The group find the tiger pit near a stream with the body of the electrical technician impaled on sharpened sticks. Boone cannot approach the pit due to the sound of running water. His laryngospasms sound like barking and the group mistake him for a wild dog.
ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN
ISOLATED/TRAPPED/ABDUCTED
After finding the dead man, the group wants to leave, but when they get to the gate, they find they are locked in. The Billionaire orders the local deputy to climb the fence and go for help.
4<sup>th</sup> REVEAL
The security guard is ordered to try and climb the Spite Fence and go for help. Boone kills him with a crossbow and the group witnesses his body being hoisted by a sinister figure and thrust onto the iron spired on the fence. Crows come and feed on his body.
ONE OF US IS KILLED –
While trying to climb the fence, the deputy is hit by an arrow from a crossbow and impales himself on the fence and dies. The group race back to the hotel and lock themselves in.
MIDPOINT: THE MONSTER IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT!
FULL PURSUIT BY THE KILLER
The Concierge tries to take charge, because she has been at the hotel for weeks and knows all the nooks and crannies. But the Billionaire and his Second-in-Command refuse to let an old woman be in control.
The Concierge grabs the girls and takes them to a place of safety. The two men feel two against one is good odds, so they make plans to hunt the killer and they head to the kitchen to look for weapons.
TERRORIZED
The two men out of their depth. The second-in-Command tries to fight off the Killer but hasn’t got the strength to hold him off. The Billionaire runs away to leave the second-in-command to his fate. The Killer forces his head into a boiling hot fry-o-later.
5<sup>th</sup> REVEAL
The Billionaire and the Second in Command try to fight off the killer in the darkened kitchen. The killer forces the head of the S-in-C into the hot oil fryer. By the fire that bubbles up as the oil spills, we finally see the partial face of the monster with staring eyes and slavering mouth.
ACT 3- FULL OUT HORROR
FIGHT TO THE DEATH-
The Billionaire stumbles through the hotel, trying to escape the killer.
He is found by the Concierge, who drags him into the safe room where she is hiding with the girls. The Billionaire wants to go to the woods, because he thinks they’ll have a better chance to get away down the mountain. He convinces the one of the girls to go with him by promising her money if they manage to escape.
HYSTERIA- The Billionaire and one girl try to leave. They are sneaking through the hotel, when the girl is grabbed from behind, not by the killer, but by the second-in-command, dying in excruciating pain from his burns. The girls has a panic attack. She grabs a (HEAVY OBJECT NOT SURE WHAT!) and beats the burned man to death with it. He dies and she is sobbing. The Billionaire tries to shut her up, but the killer stumbles upon to them and bites the girl in the throat to make her stop screaming.
6<sup>th</sup> REVEAL
We finally see the full face of the monster. He grabs the first girl from behind and moves in as if he is going to kiss her neck. In reality, he tears out her throat with his teeth.
The Billionaire falls into the koi pond in the middle of the lobby. The sight of water causes the Killer to foam uncontrollably at the mouth and run away. The Billionaire runs back to the Concierge and the last girl and tells them what happened.
THE THRILLING ESCAPE FROM DEATH-
The Concierge realizes that the killer is suffering from Rabies and probably doesn’t have long to live, since he is exhibiting symptoms of acute hydrophobia and hallucinations. The Concierge and the girl decide to set a fire and hope that the authorities will see it and come up to put it out. They grab anything burnable from the hotel and pile it in the driveway and set it on fire. They soon hear helicopters coming to check out the flames. The Billionaire is furious that the women are burning priceless works of art. He grabs a water hose and attempts to put the fire out. The killer appears from hiding, grabs the Billionaire and throws him into the bonfire.
DEATH RETURNS TO TAKE ONE MORE-
The Concierge turns the water full on to the Killer, which causes him to foam at the mouth and die.
The helicopters circle the fire and see the last girl attempting to throw the Killer’s body onto the fire to make sure he is dead. The authorities, not knowing what she is trying to do, shoot her and she falls into the fire with the killer.
RESOLUTION-
The Concierge is the only one left. She is leaving with the few belongings. She is heading for the police car waiting to drive her away. She hears a strange noise. She turns to see another raccoon lurching towards her, stiff gate and foaming at the mouth. She screams.
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DEB S. CHARACTER DEATH TRACK-
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS: I probably need to watch more of the newer horror films, as I feel my ways of killing off my characters might not be scary/horrible enough. The deaths are revolting to me, but they may be ho-hum to today’s jaded viewers. I am learning more about my script but I am only scratching the surface, really.
ACT 1- SET UP FOR HORROR
ATMOSPHERE OF EVIL ESTABLISHED:
A weird local is hunting in the woods with night vision goggles. He finds a den of baby raccoons and is in the act of taken them out of the nest when the mother attacks him with savage ferocity. The raccoon is foaming at the mouth as it bites the hunter over and over again. He finally manages to kill it. He takes it home, cooks it and eats it. The bite marks from the animal appear red and infected.
CONNECT WITH THE CHARACTERS:
Billionaire Developer orders his second-in-command to get two young women from the company to accompany the two men on a weekend at
the new development before it is open to the public.
THE CHARACTERS ARE WARNED NOT TO DO IT:
After being stopped by al yokel deputy before driving up to the hotel, the group are warned that a local man is angry at the fence that was built around the development because it cuts off access to his family lands. The Billionaire hires the yokel to be the Security Guard for the weekend.
DENIAL OF HORROR:
The Second-in-Command says the ancestral land was legally taken by eminent domain and the angry local has no recourse except to take the billionaire to court- for the next 50 years. The angry local suddenly appears in front of their car, acting odd. His eyes roll in his head, and he drools. He demands the fence be taken down, screaming that the mere presence of a fence on the mountain is an insult, and the Billionaire and his hotel are an anathema to God. The group laughs at him and drive on.
SAFETY TAKEN AWAY:
When they get to the hotel, they realize that the gate cannot be closed, because the final code has not been loaded. Even though a giant iron fence with spikes on it, surrounds the property, they can either leave the gate open or shut it manually and contact someone to come fix the code and then open the gate. The Billionaire says to leave the gate open. They can call someone to come up and fix the electronics when they get to the hotel. Inside, they meet the Concierge, who will be their private servant for the weekend. She tells them that something is wrong with the private cell tower and there is no phone or internet service.
MONSTER: NATURE OF THE BEAST
After dropping off their bags, they go for exploring around the grounds.
CHARACTER DEATH #1:
ELECTRONIC SPECIALIST HIRED TO INSTALL THE FRONT GATE
WHY: A WARNING TO THE OTHERS
HOW: IMPALED ON SHARPENED STICKS AND EATEN BY INSECTS
They find a wolf hole- a pit trap with sharpened sticks in the bottom and in the pit is the electronic specialist who was supposed to add the code to lock the gate. He is very dead.
ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN
ISOLATED/TRAPPED/ABDUCTED
After finding the dead man, the group wants to leave, but when they get to the gate, they find they are locked in. The Billionaire orders the local deputy to climb the fence and go for help.
ONE OF US IS KILLED –
CHARACTER DEATH # 2
LOCAL DEPUTY ORDERED TO CLIMB THE FENCE AND GO FOR HELP
WHY: TO TERRORIZE THE REST OF THE GROUP
HOW: HIT BY A CROSSBOW ARROW IN THE MOUTH, THEN HUNG UP ON FENCE SPIKES
While trying to climb the fence, the deputy is hit by an arrow from a crossbow and impales himself on the fence and dies. The group race back to the hotel and lock themselves in.
MIDPOINT: THE MONSTER IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT!
FULL PURSUIT BY THE KILLER
The Concierge tries to take charge, because she has been at the hotel for weeks and knows all the nooks and crannies. But the Billionaire and his Second-in-Command refuse to let an old woman be in control.
The Concierge grabs the girls and takes them to a place of safety. The two men feel two against one is good odds, so they make plans to hunt the killer and they head to the kitchen to look for weapons.
TERRORIZED
CHARACTER DEATH #3
SECOND-IN-COMMAND
WHY: ATTEMPTS SOMTHING THAT FAILS
HOW: HEAD IS HELD DOWN IN A FLAMING OIL FRY-O-LATER
The two men out of their depth. The second-in-Command tries to fight off the Killer but hasn’t got the strength to hold him off. The Billionaire runs away to leave the second-in-command to his fate. The Killer forces his head into a boiling hot fry-o-later.
ACT 3- FULL OUT HORROR
FIGHT TO THE DEATH-
The Billionaire stumbles through the hotel, trying to escape the killer.
He is found by the Concierge, who drags him into the safe room where she is hiding with the girls. The Billionaire wants to go to the woods, because he thinks they’ll have a better chance to get away down the mountain. He convinces the one of the girls to go with him by promising her money if they manage to escape.
HYSTERIA- The Billionaire and one girl try to leave. They are sneaking through the hotel, when the girl is grabbed from behind, not by the killer, but by the second-in-command, dying in excruciating pain from his burns. The girls has a panic attack. She grabs a (HEAVY OBJECT NOT SURE WHAT!) and beats the burned man to death with it. He dies and she is sobbing.
CHARACTER DEATH #3A
SECOND-IN-COMMAND NOT FULLY DEAD FROM THE BOILING OIL
WHY: SCAREY COME-BACK
HOW: HEAD IS BEATEN TO A PULP WITH A PRICELESS PIECE OF ART.
The Billionaire tries to shut her up, but the killer stumbles upon to them and bites the girl in the throat to make her stop screaming.
CHARACTER #4
CRYING GIRL CAUGHT BY THE KILLER
WHY: SHE IS SACRIFICED BY THE BILLIONAIRE
HOW: HER THROAT IS TORN OUT BY HIS TEETH IN A MOCKERY OF A HICKEY
The Billionaire falls into the koi pond in the middle of the lobby. The sight of water causes the Killer to foam uncontrollably at the mouth and run away. The Billionaire runs back to the Concierge and the last girl and tells them what happened.
THE THRILLING ESCAPE FROM DEATH-
The Concierge realizes that the killer is suffering from Rabies and probably doesn’t have long to live, since he is exhibiting symptoms of hydrophobia and hallucinations. The Concierge and the girl decide to set a fire and hope that the authorities will see it and come up to put it out. They grab anything burnable from the hotel and pile it in the driveway and set it on fire. They soon hear helicopters coming to check out the flames. The Billionaire is furious that the women are burning priceless works of art. He grabs a water hose and attempts to put the fire out. The killer appears from hiding, grabs the Billionaire and throws him into the bonfire.
DEATH #5
THE BILLIONAIRE
WHY: BACK INTO IT/NOT PAYING ATTENTION
HOW: THROWN UPON A BONFIRE AND IMMOLATED.
DEATH RETURNS TO TAKE ONE MORE-
The Concierge turns the water full on to the Killer, which causes him to foam at the mouth and die.
The helicopters circle the fire and see the last girl attempting to throw the Killer’s body onto the fire to make sure he is dead.
DEATH #6
THE SECOND GIRL
WHY: AUTHORITIES MISTAKE HER FOR KILLER
HOW: SHOT TO DEATH BY AUTHOIRITIES
The authorities, not knowing what she is trying to do, shoot her and she falls into the fire with the killer.
RESOLUTION-
The Concierge is the only one left. She is leaving with the few belongings. She is heading for the police car waiting to drive her away. She hears a strange noise. She turns to see another raccoon lurching towards her, stiff gate and foaming at the mouth. She screams.
DEATH #7- OR IS IT?
THE CONCIERGE
WHY: IS THIS REALLY THE END?
HOW: IS SHE ALSO ATTACKED BY A DIFFERENT RABID ANIMAL?
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DEB STENARD’S LESSON 5: THE HORROR SITUATIONS OUTLINE
WHAT I LEARNED FROM DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS:
To be honest, I did not have the whole story thought out in my head when I started this class. I had a slim idea. NOT SURE IF WHAT I WROTE DOWN IS WORKING. I didn’t finish this assignment, but studying and using these lessons will help me get this script in a workable order. It ain’t perfect, but it will help me go forward and learn to fix it.
ACT 1- SET UP FOR HORROR
ATMOSPHERE OF EVIL ESTABLISHED:
HORROR SITUATION: While hiking in the woods, a local hunter is attacked by a raccoon acting strangely.
REACTION – FIGHT – The local fights the animal with his bare hands, getting bit and scratched and bloodied. He finally kills the animal
HORROR SITUATION: Thinking he is safe, he turns, only to find a pack of animals, foaming at the mouth and out for blood.
CONNECT WITH THE CHARACTERS:
Billionaire Developer orders his second-in-command to get two young women from the company to accompany the two men on a weekend at
the new development before it is open to the public.
DECEPTIVE SITUATION- WALKING INTO A TRAP: One young woman convinces the other girl that it will be fine, these guys just want some fun. And if they have to “put out”, it could help their careers.
SAFETY TAKEN AWAY- Once they drive up to the new development, the highway behind them is closed due to wildfires.
HORROR SITUATION: TRAPPED with seemingly no means of escape/FORCES OF NATURE- Wild fires
REACTION: The women demand to leave the resort. The Billionaire says he has to complete his assessment. If things get really bad, he’s call for his private helicopter to rescue them.
SAFETY TAKEN AWAY: the encroaching fire destroys the cell tower, cutting off phone and internet access to the hotel.
HORROR SITUATION: PARANOIA SITUATION
REACTION: Denial and fear
After being stopped by al yokel deputy before driving up to the hotel, the group are warned that a local man is angry at the fence that was built around the development because it cuts off access to his family lands. The Billionaire hires the yokel to be the Security Guard for the weekend.
HORROR SITUATION: MEET THE MONSTER
The weird hunter from the first scene suddenly appears in front of the car, acting odd. His eyes roll in his head, and he drools. He demands the fence be taken down, screaming that the mere presence of a fence on the mountain is an insult, and the Billionaire and his hotel are an anathema to God. The car goes around him and drive into the resort.
HORROR SITUATION- NO ESCAPE OR THE ESCAPE ROUTE HAS BEEN CUT OFF:
REACTION: The men deny, and the women demand the Billionaire call in the helicopter.
They discover that the gate cannot be locked because the final code has not been loaded. They meet the Concierge, who tells them that something is wrong with the private cell tower and there is no phone or internet service.
HORROR SITUATION: TORTURE SITUATION
REACTION: ANOTEHR CHARACTER LOSES IT
They go exploring around the grounds.
They find a wolf hole- a pit trap with sharpened sticks in the bottom and in the pit is the electronic specialist who was supposed to add the code to lock the gate. He is very dead.
ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN
ISOLATED/TRAPPED/ABDUCTED
After finding the dead man, the group wants to leave, but when they get to the gate, they find they are locked in. The Billionaire orders the local deputy to climb the fence and go for help.
ONE OF US IS KILLED –
While trying to climb the fence, the deputy is hit by an arrow from a crossbow and impales himself on the fence and dies. The group race back to the hotel and lock themselves in.
MIDPOINT: THE MONSTER IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT!
FULL PURSUIT BY THE KILLER
The Concierge tries to take charge, because she has been at the hotel for weeks and knows all the nooks and crannies. But the Billionaire and his Second-in-Command refuse to let an old woman be in control.
The Concierge grabs the girls and takes them to a place of safety. The two men feel two against one is good odds, so they make plans to hunt the killer and they head to the kitchen to look for weapons.
TERRORIZED
The two men out of their depth. The second-in-Command tries to fight off the Killer but hasn’t got the strength to hold him off. The Billionaire runs away to leave the second-in-command to his fate. The Killer forces his head into a boiling hot fry-o-later..
ACT 3- FULL OUT HORROR
FIGHT TO THE DEATH-
The Billionaire stumbles through the hotel, trying to escape the killer.
He is found by the Concierge, who drags him into the safe room where she is hiding with the girls. The Billionaire wants to go to the woods, because he thinks they’ll have a better chance to get away down the mountain. He convinces the one of the girls to go with him by promising her money if they manage to escape.
HYSTERIA- The Billionaire and one girl try to leave. They are sneaking through the hotel, when the girl is grabbed from behind, not by the killer, but by the second-in-command, dying in excruciating pain from his burns. The girls has a panic attack. She grabs a (HEAVY OBJECT NOT SURE WHAT!) and beats the burned man to death with it. He dies and she is sobbing. The Billionaire tries to shut her up, but the killer stumbles upon to them and bites the girl in the throat to make her stop screaming. The Billionaire falls into the koi pond in the middle of the lobby. The sight of water causes the Killer to foam uncontrollably at the mouth and run away. The Billionaire runs back to the Concierge and the last girl and tells them what happened.
THE THRILLING ESCAPE FROM DEATH-
The Concierge realizes that the killer is suffering from Rabies and probably doesn’t have long to live, since he is exhibiting symptoms of hydrophobia and hallucinations. The Concierge and the girl decide to set a fire and hope that the authorities will see it and come up to put it out. They grab anything burnable from the hotel and pile it in the driveway and set it on fire. They soon hear helicopters coming to check out the flames. The Billionaire is furious that the women are burning priceless works of art. He grabs a water hose and attempts to put the fire out. The killer appears from hiding, grabs the Billionaire and throws him into the bonfire.
DEATH RETURNS TO TAKE ONE MORE-
The Concierge turns the water full on to the Killer, which causes him to foam at the mouth and die.
The helicopters circle the fire and see the last girl attempting to throw the Killer’s body onto the fire to make sure he is dead. The authorities, not knowing what she is trying to do, shoot her and she falls into the fire with the killer.
RESOLUTION-
The Concierge is the only one left. She is leaving with the few belongings. She is heading for the police car waiting to drive her away. She hears a strange noise. She turns to see another raccoon lurching towards her, stiff gate and foaming at the mouth. She screams.
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DEB STENARD’S LESSON 4: THE HORROR PLOT
WHAT I LEARNED FROM DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS:
Just start writing. Allow the work to just flow. Get it down now. There are a lot of mistakes and crazy sentences in my outline, because I just wanted to get it down. But by doing it this way, I can see the structure and I know where I have to go
ACT 1- SET UP FOR HORROR
ATMOSPHERE OF EVIL ESTABLISHED:
A weird local is hunting in the woods with night vision goggles. He finds a den of baby raccoons and is in the act of taken them out of the nest when the mother attacks him with savage ferocity. The raccoon is foaming at the mouth as it bites the hunter over and over again. He finally manages to kill it. He takes it home, cooks it and eats it. The bite marks from the animal appear red and infected.
CONNECT WITH THE CHARACTERS:
Billionaire Developer orders his second-in-command to get two young women from the company to accompany the two men on a weekend at
the new development before it is open to the public.
THE CHARACTERS ARE WARNED NOT TO DO IT:
After being stopped by al yokel deputy before driving up to the hotel, the group are warned that a local man is angry at the fence that was built around the development because it cuts off access to his family lands. The Billionaire hires the yokel to be the Security Guard for the weekend.
DENIAL OF HORROR:
The Second-in-Command says the ancestral land was legally taken by eminent domain and the angry local has no recourse except to take the billionaire to court- for the next 50 years. The angry local suddenly appears in front of their car, acting odd. His eyes roll in his head, and he drools. He demands the fence be taken down, screaming that the mere presence of a fence on the mountain is an insult, and the Billionaire and his hotel are an anathema to God. The group laughs at him and drive on.
SAFETY TAKEN AWAY:
When they get to the hotel, they realize that the gate cannot be closed, because the final code has not been loaded. Even though a giant iron fence with spikes on it, surrounds the property, they can either leave the gate open or shut it manually and contact someone to come fix the code and then open the gate. The Billionaire says to leave the gate open. They can call someone to come up and fix the electronics when they get to the hotel. Inside, they meet the Concierge, who will be their private servant for the weekend. She tells them that something is wrong with the private cell tower and there is no phone or internet service.
MONSTER: NATURE OF THE BEAST
After dropping off their bags, they go for exploring around the grounds.
They find a wolf hole- a pit trap with sharpened sticks in the bottom and in the pit is the electronic specialist who was supposed to add the code to lock the gate. He is very dead.
ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN
ISOLATED/TRAPPED/ABDUCTED
After finding the dead man, the group wants to leave, but when they get to the gate, they find they are locked in. The Billionaire orders the local deputy to climb the fence and go for help.
ONE OF US IS KILLED –
While trying to climb the fence, the deputy is hit by an arrow from a crossbow and impales himself on the fence and dies. The group race back to the hotel and lock themselves in.
MIDPOINT: THE MONSTER IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT!
FULL PURSUIT BY THE KILLER
The Concierge tries to take charge, because she has been at the hotel for weeks and knows all the nooks and crannies. But the Billionaire and his Second-in-Command refuse to let an old woman be in control.
The Concierge grabs the girls and takes them to a place of safety. The two men feel two against one is good odds, so they make plans to hunt the killer and they head to the kitchen to look for weapons.
TERRORIZED
The two men out of their depth. The second-in-Command tries to fight off the Killer but hasn’t got the strength to hold him off. The Billionaire runs away to leave the second-in-command to his fate. The Killer forces his head into a boiling hot fry-o-later..
ACT 3- FULL OUT HORROR
FIGHT TO THE DEATH-
The Billionaire stumbles through the hotel, trying to escape the killer.
He is found by the Concierge, who drags him into the safe room where she is hiding with the girls. The Billionaire wants to go to the woods, because he thinks they’ll have a better chance to get away down the mountain. He convinces the one of the girls to go with him by promising her money if they manage to escape.
HYSTERIA- The Billionaire and one girl try to leave. They are sneaking through the hotel, when the girl is grabbed from behind, not by the killer, but by the second-in-command, dying in excruciating pain from his burns. The girls has a panic attack. She grabs a (HEAVY OBJECT NOT SURE WHAT!) and beats the burned man to death with it. He dies and she is sobbing. The Billionaire tries to shut her up, but the killer stumbles upon to them and bites the girl in the throat to make her stop screaming. The Billionaire falls into the koi pond in the middle of the lobby. The sight of water causes the Killer to foam uncontrollably at the mouth and run away. The Billionaire runs back to the Concierge and the last girl and tells them what happened.
THE THRILLING ESCAPE FROM DEATH-
The Concierge realizes that the killer is suffering from Rabies and probably doesn’t have long to live, since he is exhibiting symptoms of hydrophobia and hallucinations. The Concierge and the girl decide to set a fire and hope that the authorities will see it and come up to put it out. They grab anything burnable from the hotel and pile it in the driveway and set it on fire. They soon hear helicopters coming to check out the flames. The Billionaire is furious that the women are burning priceless works of art. He grabs a water hose and attempts to put the fire out. The killer appears from hiding, grabs the Billionaire and throws him into the bonfire.
DEATH RETURNS TO TAKE ONE MORE-
The Concierge turns the water full on to the Killer, which causes him to foam at the mouth and die.
The helicopters circle the fire and see the last girl attempting to throw the Killer’s body onto the fire to make sure he is dead. The authorities, not knowing what she is trying to do, shoot her and she falls into the fire with the killer.
RESOLUTION-
The Concierge is the only one left. She is leaving with the few belongings. She is heading for the police car waiting to drive her away. She hears a strange noise. She turns to see another raccoon lurching towards her, stiff gate and foaming at the mouth. She screams.
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DEB STENARD’S CHARACTERS FOR HORROR
WHAT I LEARNED IN DOING THIS ASSIGNEMENT IS:
It is really helpful to have the universal characters list in order to being to flesh out roles of each person in the script. If I know the “role” of each character, it is easier to place them in the story and it actually helps go forward with the storyline.
MOVIE: SPITE FENCE-
The billionaire boss of a new ultra-exclusive mountain development locks a Doomsday Prepper off of his property by “eminent domain”, and the prepper vows revenge.
The group is SOCIAL GROUP (CO-WORKERS)
DYING PATTERN-
A. put 6 to 8 characters together and kill them off one by one
CHARACTERS:
CARRIER: The Billionaire, utter disregard for the locals, BRINGS THE HORROR TO THE GROUP by building a “spite fence” and angering the Prepper.
OUT OF CONTROL/OBNOXIOUS: Second-in-Command is a boot-licking sycophant, who pushes the Prepper beyond the limit of his control, in order to gain points with his boss.
INNOCENT: Billionaire’s decorative girlfriend, tells her boyfriend about this perfect development area, because she was born here and wants to bring prosperity to her community. Doesn’t realize the peaceful community she grew up in no longer exists
MONSTER BAIT: Second-in-Command’s annoying secretary/girlfriend who hates the great outdoors and wanted to go to CANCUN, not a CABIN. Continually takes stupid chances.
COMPLAINER: part-time gardener/local yokel who grew up with the innocent and wants his old friend to share the wealth. Tries to suck up to the Carrier by doing anything he asks and is first one killed for his troubles.
RESCUER: Mature woman who manages the estate. Has lived in the area her whole life and knows the woods and the people like the back of her hand. Including the Monster.
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DEB STENARD’S TERRIFYING MONSTER-
What I learned doing this assignment is:
It’s kinda fun to create something totally unlikeable and horrifying. Go bog or go home!
My monster is a drug-addled Afghanistan War Deserter who thinks he is the reincarnation of Staff Sergeant Joe Ronnie Hooper, the greatest soldier in the Viet Nam War.
He lives in a shack in the mountains, a survivalist and Doomsday Prepper. The Unabomber is a personal hero. Refuses to take any drugs, vaccines, or pills, because they can track you that way.
His shack is unfortunately right in the middle of a large track of land that a billionaire has bought for his newest luxury development project. He ain’t gonna let no one no how throw him off his land.
THEIR TERROR: While hunting for food in the woods, he is attacked by a rabid wolf. And he gets rabies.
THEIR MYSTERY: This guy is a survivalist, and a Doomsday Prepper. The Unabomber is a personal hero. He knows every inch of his mountain and everywhere to hide. Arnold in THE PREDATOR got nothing on him.
THEIR APPEARANCE: He survives the wolf attack on his head, but doesn’t seek help for his condition and develops full-blown rabies. Open, pus spewing wounds on his head, face and neck. Twitching, rolling eyes, foaming at the mouth and total understanding of how he will eventually die.
THEIR RULES:
For year he has avoided the people on the mountain. Rangers, cops, trail hikers, mountain bikers: they all have heard about some crazy guy who lives in the hallows and eats raw meat. People have found remains of his traps and his kills. But no one has seen him. They make up stories but the stories don’t do him justice. He isn’t afraid of anything. He is an unassailable killing machine. And he wants a mate.
THEIR MYTHOLOGY:
The middle-aged woman housekeeper for the billionaire is his mother. She took the job of looking after the billionaire’s mountain home when her son got out of Walter Reed Hospital. They wanted to put him in an institution, but she helped him escape, but vowed to keep him away from people, so he could never hurt anyone. Will she die for him? Or does she love him enough to kill him to keep him out of jail.
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WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNEMENTIS:
TITLE- NOBODY SLEEPS IN THE WOODS TONIGHT-2020
(The first in a Polish Horror Film Series)
CONCEPT: A group of teens and counselors in the woods at an electronic devices deprivation camp are terrorized by two mutated brothers turned into flesh eating monsters by a meteor from space.
I picked this movie because I thought it was interesting that horror conventions are pretty much the same all over the world.
TERRORIZE THE CHARACTERS:
Trapped in the woods with no way to contact the outside world.
Fighting monster-like people with super-human strength.
No conventional weapons available
All the adults are killed off early, leaving the teen-agers on their own
The monsters are animal-like and have no human feelings.
ISOLATION- This group of teenagers are being forced by their parents to spend time at a camp in the woods where no electronic devices are allowed. No cell phones, no ipads, no radios, no land lines and no vehicles to take them back to civilization.
DEATH-
The first death is no seen, but sounds horrible.
Each subsequent death is either quick and horribly painful, or lingering and disgusting. Only one girl survives and she is forced to kill the monsters in order to survive.
MONSTER/VILLAIN-
Two brothers who live with their mentally defective other in a hut in the woods. When a meteor lands near their hut, the energy that emanates from the meteor turn them into what look like monstrous lepers, who cannot speak or reason, who only want to eat any raw meat they can find. No matter what or who.
HIGH TENSION:
The teens are in the woods at night when the first attack happens. One boy disappears ,and they have no idea what happened to him.
As they search for him, one by one, they are picked off by the monster brothers. With new death is witnessed by the survivors and they come to realize that very soon, they are next.
DEPARTURE FROM REALITY:
A mailman comes to the hut in the woods. This is not his first tie delivering mail. But all of a sudden, he decides to investigate the cellar for no good reason.
A meteor, big enough to light up the night sky for hundreds of miles and no one comes out to investigate.
The meteor carries spoor that turn humans into flesh-eating monsters.
MORAL STATEMENT:
The kids who had sex by the lake where the first one to get killed, so DON’T HAVE SEX BY A LAKE IN THE DARK.
Also, when that one scared kid says do not go in there, let’s leave and get help now listen to him!
And do whatever you can to survive.
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Hi everyone,
Deborah Stenard but call me Deb.
I have written 10 or so full length scripts, some shorts, I “worked” for a production company (for no pay) and they had me write:
-the premise for a historical series, a script based on a fantasy book, a pilot script for an Asian female comic, a faith-based script based on a true story, several episodes for a comedy pilot based on my best friend’s life and ALL FOR NO PAY. On SPEC.
But I learned how to write fast, how to take notes and how to let go of my ego.
I have never really written a horror script and I like the idea I came up with, so I am hoping to get a good first draft out of this idea, if you all think it might work. Will appreciate your input.
Something about me? I have worked as a puppeteer, a singing and dancing bear (in costume) and a magician’s assistant, along with the usual waitress jobs. BTW, being a magician’s assistant is A HORRIBLE JOB.
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DEBORAH STENARD
I agree to the terms of this release form.
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ASSIGNMENT 1 – AUG, 19TH
SUBJECT LINE: Deb S. Three Circles of Characters
“What I leaned doing this assignment is that the series I picked to study has a trermendous amount of characters and the writers/director/producers did an amazing job in introducing them all. They did do it in a two part pilot, so I am wondering if I can creat an interesting-enough world to justify introducing everyone in a two hour episode. I don’t think I’ll have the 48 survivors that are supposed to be on the island in LOST but in my series, I want to give myself enough key characters to keep the audience interested.
SHOW: LOST
1. BULLSEYE MAIN CHARACTERS CIRCLE:
JACK, KATE, CHARLIE, HURLEY
2. CONNECTED CIRCLE:
BOONE, SAWYER, SAYID, SHANNON, CLAIRE
3. ENVIRONMENT CIRCLE:
JIN-SOO KWON, SUN-HWA KWON, ROSE, MICHAEL & SON WALT
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hey other students,
Have I misread something? Are we supposed to post our concept for our series somewhere? And if so, do anyone know where? I’m having problems with posting things.
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WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS: there is always a way to make your story and your characters fresh and different and personal both to you as a writer and to the audience watching. I watched lost. Not, this shouw could have been GILLIGAN’S ISLAND 50 YEARS IN THE FUTURE. Ho hum. But iwas the show that took the viewing public by storm.
LOST 5 STAR MODEL-
After surviving a horrific plane crach on a remote and uncharted island in the South Pacific, the passangers on the flight have questions and very few answers. There are 48 survivors and they all have secrets, problems, mucky pasts and things to hide, And the island has secrets as well. There’s a doctor who tries to save as many of the wounded ad he can. A strong young woman who attracts the doctor’s attention, but who may be a fugitive being brought back to the States by a cop. There’s a weird and hostile guy who fights with everyone, especially with an Iraqi, who has his own secrets. A former British Rock & Roller is htere, along with a awkward large guy who faints at the sight of blood. There’s a father trying to make up to his son for the loss of his mother and the disappearance of the kids’s dog on the island. Ther’s a pregnant teen-age who is about to POP. And a lot of others. This is a BIG cast with a lot of secrets. IN this epsiode, Jack the doctor, Kate the criminal and Charlie the musician go off intot the woods to try and kind the plane cockpit. They hope to fing soemthign with which they can contact the outside world and be rescued. Whe they do find it, the pilot is barely alive. An unseen monster grabs the pilot out of hte cockpit and slaughters hi in a truely horrific way. And that’s the first episode.
1. THE BIG HOOK OF HTE SHOW- Where are these people, what exaclty happened, where have they landed and what the hell is that thing roaming in the forest?!
2. AMAZING AND INTRIGUING CHARACTER(S)- Our lead- JACK is luckily a doctor and does his best to treat the wounded and the dying. If I crash landed on a tropical island, I’d want a doctor in the group. And the woman he’sd attracted to is calm and collected in the beginning. She’s ste4ady enough to sew up a wound on the doctor. But how did she get so competent and brave, compaired to the other women in the group. What happened in her past to make her so strong and perhaps ruthless. This show has such a big cast, they had to try to give a WHOLE lot of people a snippet ofbackstory and they did a pretty good job. That’s partially what made it so watchable. The audience wants to find out more about these survivors.
3. EMPATHY/DISTRESS- what situation causes us to feel both empathy and distress for this/these characters?
Jack has the thankless job of being the only medial person int his group of 48 survivors of a HORRIFIC PLANE CRACH, as far as we know from the first episode. He has to be in 8 different places at once. I couldn’t do that. He tells Kate a story aobut his first big operation where he was workig on a girl’s spine. Something went really wrong. But he had to fix it and edeal. So he gave himself 5 nseconds to be afraid, and then get over it and go on. In a later part of the episode. Kate is all alone and terrified and hte monster could be anywhere near her and she remembers that story. She gives herself 5 bseconds and then is able to go on as well. I was terrified that both or either of them was going to be killd by this monster and I hoped in my heart of hearts that I could be as brave and steady in the kind of situation I pray I am never in.
4. LAYERS/OPEN LOPS- What questions are created by this first epsioe that can only be answered by watching the entire season?
Why are these people here? WHERE are they? Will they get rescued? Who will survive the weeks ahead? Will someone of them get rescued? Will they turn intoo Lord Of The Flies? Will the mosnter pick them off one by one? Will it be revealed LIFE OR EATH? Is htere anything more compelling than that? I think jnot.
5. INVITING OBSESSION- How does this pilot create the need to see every single episode?
I had not watched this show when it first came out. So all this was new to me. I stayed up until 2:00am and watched four epsiodes and every episode left me with more questions and a stronger desire to see what would happen next. The storeis were open-ended and changed with every episode. The twists were fresh and new. The people were people I could care about, I oculd empathize with. I don’t have time for this show, but you can bet I’ll watchmore episodes tonight.
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1. Name?
I’M DEB STENARD, but I sign my scripts D. A. Stenard
Questions for EVERYONE: RECENTLY, I had a exec tell me not to put initals as my name on my scripts. Particularly the initials D.A. He said it is because when MEN see these intials, they think of the words DUMB ASS, espcially applying to women. Please tell me he was a misogynist and totally wrong.
2. How many scripts you’ve written?
I have written about 22 scripts, including shorts, features, TV, pilots, etc. Couple of options, produced my short film myself. Many of those scripts written with the help of Hal & Cheryl!
3. What you hope to get out of the class?
I never thought of writing a series. But realizing that most of what I have watched in the past 18 months hae been series and then falling totally in love with TED LASSO, I want to write somethihng that good.
4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you?
My next screenplay will be about Pat Moriarty. He rode against Pancho Villa, was once known as the World’s Greatest Safe Cracker, spent 20 years in Sing Sing and I went to his funeral when I was 12, because he was my great uncle.
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DEB STENARD
I AGREE TO THE TERMS OF THIS RELEASE FORM.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
Member
August 16, 2021 at 8:53 am
Ron Reid
“I agree to the terms of this release form.”
Member
August 16, 2021 at 2:56 pm
My name is David Agnew Penn and I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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I am printing out your outline now, So I can go over it better. Thanks
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Hey Brian,
I just posted my first outline, a little behind in the class. Would you like to pair up and get some notes?
Deb S.
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Hello Serita,
I have a couple of medical questions that I would like to ask you about, concerning my horror script. I would appreciate it if I could email with you and see if you know what the heck i am thinking about!
Thank you,
Deb Stenard
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Hey Frank,
Another vet in our class! Thank you for your service.
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Hey Tony,
On this Memorial Day, thank you for your service.
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Thanks Ron, I am still trying to think of the best names for my characters!! I am not doing a binge worthy series based on my Great Uncle- that is a screenplay. I am doing a series based on my experiences as a cater/waiter and family helper for the past TOO MANY YEARS! Despite that NDA, I think I can get some juicy stories out here
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Thanks. I was really taken aback that he would say that to me. I guess he thougth he was being helpful?… I joke and call myself District Attny. Stenard. Maybe my Great Uncle coulda used me back in the day!