Dennis Chrisman
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Lesson 16
Subject line: Dennis Chrisman Outline Version 1
Tell us what you learned as you rewrote your script. Using techniques
learned from the programmed text, I found it is easier to plan for and write
action scenes.
Tell us the main improvements you made in your
outline. Adding the techniques gained
from the “Action” class improves the over all script. The methods taught in Lesson 15 gave the
script a better feel of actual action stirring the audiences’ emotions
with suspense, action, and hope.
Tell us what you want the next person focusing on. Action can be
easily written with a little planning; however, suspense and hope make the
audiences emotions go up and down, with them hang onto their seat.Hell in a Handbasket
Logline: After an economic collapse, a young mother and four children inadvertently perturb a motorcycle gang while on their way to her father’s farm.
Opening: (p, 1 – 10)
The United States (US)is bankrupt and announced the protocol Force Majeure is in place and the US is under Martial Law. Nancy (NANCY) (29) goes to the gun range to shoot her 9-millimeter (mm) Glock.
(Subplot A) She calls her dad (JAMES) (70) who lives on a self-sustaining farm. James invites Nancy and Tom to visit the farm this next week. They agree to go.
(Subplot B) Husband Tom (TOM) (32) tries to get gas and go to work. At the Gas Station a man named Machete (MACHETE) (45) kills the gas station owner. Tom leaves.
Nancy and Nikki, (NIKKI) (9) start out to the James’ farm. They come across a stranger who tells them a renegade gas station called the “Last Stop” has gas.
The stranger also tells them to be very careful at the Last Stop, it’s a dangerous place that buys and sells everything, to include women and children.
Nancy comes across a woman Sara (SARA) (26) in distress at a security checkpoint. Nancy uses as M-45 adaptor to mount on the Glock 9 mm’s receiver, to shoot the guards.
She saves Sara and her son Jamal (JAMAL) (12). She drives across the bridge to the “Last Stop”
(Subplot B) Tom is abducted and forced into the Army. He is sent to the Pacific Front to fight the Chinese.
Inciting Incident (p. 10 – 15)
At EXT. CIMARRON BRIDGE – NIGHT
Nancy and Nikki, along with Sara and her son Jacob, drive across the Cimarron River bridge in a late model SUV. The come to a Gas Station and Store known as the “Black Market”.
EXT. THE BLACK MARKET – PARKING LOT – NIGHT
The building and the parking lot are well lit. Nancy pulls in line to get gas at the station, creeps ahead and stops. In doing so she unknowingly butts in front of a Harley Davidson motorcycle.
The motorcycle’s owner SOUNDS his horn, stops and gets off his bike.
The owner wears a filthy jean jacket with the sleeves cut off. A name tag over the left pocket reads, “Machete”. Machete (45) is tall, masculine with long filthy brown hair. He puts the bike on its kick stand and makes a beeline to Nancy. He gets in Nancy’s face.
MACHETE
What the hell is wrong with you. I was here first.
NANCY
Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you waiting. If you’ll
excuse me, I need to pay for the gas.
Machete grabs her by the shoulders…
Nancy shakes him off…
She takes two steps back; executes a spinning round house kick, THUMP, she levels Machete flat on the ground.
Behind Machete his cohorts on their bikes, LAUGH, and YELP at Machete’s demise.
Nancy heads into the Black-Market leaving Machete on the ground unconscious. A couple of his biker buddies help him on his feet. After several minutes—
MACHETE (OUT LOUD, TO HIMSELF)
I’m going make her pay for more than just gas.
Machete walks to the SUV and opens the back door. Nancy’s daughter Nikki sits in the rear of the SUV.
She holds a nine MM pistol in the ready position.
SHOCKED Machete takes several steps back…
He SNEERS and steps forward…
Nikki lowers the pistol; BANG Nikki pulls the trigger.
Machete grabs his foot and yells some more. The bullet severed two of his toes.
Behind Machete his cohorts, on their bikes, LAUGH, and YELP at Machete’s demise.
Nancy comes out of the Black Market; she looks over at Machete, then rushes to the SUV.
She shuts the back door, climbs into the driver’s seat; starts the engine. She turns and looks at Nikki
NANCY
Nikki are you alright?
Nikki hods her head. Nancy pulls away from the gas pump and onto the highway.
The bikers gather around the gas pump. One biker parks his bike and goes into the Black Market. Speaking with the clerk he finds out the Nancy got the last of the gas.
First Turning Point at end of Act 1 (P. 15 – 35)
It’s night; Nancy drives along an empty highway with the kids singing in the back of the SUV. They stop at a lone farmhouse to get water and sleep. An older couple lives there.
They have a boy (Greg) (7) and a girl (Susan) (6) that walked upon their farmhouse. They are orphaned. The older couple gives them to Nancy for care.
The gang is not that far behind them, they stop; light a fire and setup camp for the night.
Machete has his boot off; looks at the gap left by his two missing toes. He wraps a rag around the bloody wound, howling in pain.
He vows to capture that woman and sell her and those kids at the “Last Stop”. The other bikers make fun of Machete.
Mid-Point (P. 25 – 35)
(Subplot A) James drives to a neighbor’s house to pick up fencing. The neighbor is dead. Next, he drives to the local town to find it’s in shambles. He runs across two young teenage boys trying to steal a rat from a young girl. James puts a stop to it, gathers them up, and takes them to his farm.
(Subplot B) Tom is soldering at the Pacific front. He sits in a World War I style trench in a dugout cubby hole. He’s visible tired, filthy, and appears to be malnourished.
(Subplot B) He hears a loud buzzer. He gets up, picks up his weapon and heads over the top, then moves into to Deadman’s Land along with hundreds of other soldiers.
Nancy and has parked the SUV, she and Sara are outside leaning over the hood looking at a map and holding a compass. They hear but don’t see the motorcycles.
Suddenly, Nancy points to the map then shows Sara the compass. They pile into the SUV and start down a steep rock incline. She ends up on the main road and drives forward.
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2 (P. 35-55)
(Subplot B) Tom is SHOT. He falls to the ground unable to get up. He hears the busser signaling retreat. He appears to be stuck in Deadman’s’ Land. A Chinese bugle sounds. Tom’s scared; he hears rumbling near him.
(Subplot B) He pulls his rifle close and removes the bayonet and holds it in his hand. Medics with red cross bands on their arm and on their helmet pick him up, put him on a stretcher; take him back to the US side.
Nancy and the kids turn onto a sandy road and up the mountains to a Ranger Station at the end of the road. They are able to break in the station, eat and find comfort sleeping in bunk beds.
Back on the road Nancy and the kids drive down the mountain. She passes the gang’s makeshift camp. The motorcycle gang follows and catch up to her.
Nancy takes another turn onto a sand covered road. The motorcycle gang can’t ride their bikes in the sand. She loses the gang; becomes lost herself. She eventually ends up on the highway just ahead of the bikers.
The gang is on the blacktop and behind Nancy. Various gang members pull alongside the SUV and strike it with motorcycle chains. Nancy swerves to avoid the damage. At some point she drives off the road and becomes stuck.
The gang grabs Nancy by the hair and drags her out of the SUV. They grab Sara and the kids and pull them out of the SUV. They tie them up with zip cords. Nancy and the kids stand with their hands behind their backs.
Machete walks to Nancy and slaps her in the face. Sara comes to her rescue. Sara has pulled her hands in front of her and climbs on top of Machete; chokes him with the cable tie that secures her hand.
Machete flings her off of him and hits her in the head with the butt of a rifle. Blood trickles from both her ears. Sara is dead.
Nancy is furious. She slips from her cable ties and runs to the SUV. Along the way, she uses KARATE CHOPS, KICKS and THROWS to keep the gang at bay. She makes it to the SUV, puts it into reverse and backs over several bikers and their bikes. She pulls forward, opens the doors and gets the kids into the SUV.
Crisis (P 55 – 85)
Nancy and the kids minus Sara are driving fast to get away from the gang. Various members of the gang ride up to the SUV and try and serve into to it off the road. They drive up and damage the SUV by striking it with motorcycle chains and clubs.
We see steam coming out of the radiator and a bent wheel rim. The motorcycle gang continuous their pursuit and assault on Nancy’s SUV.
They roar up to the vehicle and kick it with their feet, use motorcycle chains to flail the side of the truck, doing everything possible to force Nancy off the road so they can recapture their prey.
Nancy, however, is still not ready to call it quits, especially when they are so close to the farm. As Nancy drives down the road, she sifts her knees to the steering wheel to steer the SUV; grabs her nine MM pistol from the car seat. She quickly holds the pistol in her hand and checks the clip; there are four bullets left.
She calls for Nikki. Nikki comes from the back of the SUV. She’s covered in shards of glass and carefully brushes the broken glass from her clothes; she is unharmed.
Nancy gives her the pistol and tells her to shoot the gas tanks. Nikki leans against the upper edge of the rear seat as it folds up next to the front seats.
She spots a Harley Davidson Electro-Glide, a police vehicle in another life with police accouterment. The rider wears a police crash helmet.
Nikki aims the pistol at the motorcycle through the SUV’s busted out rear window. BANG. She hits the motorcycle gas tank. Precious gasoline begins to spill out of the tank and on to the road.
The leaking gas spills onto the motorcycle’s exhaust pipe and catches in FIRE. The bike and rider immediately swerve off the road, into a ditch; the bike explodes. The rider appears to be unharmed.
Another biker riding a Harley Davidson Cruiser takes the place of Electro-Glide. Nikki takes aim at his motorcycle’s gas tank and FIRES. It explodes immediately and the biker flies off the motorcycle.
Nancy drives her SUV to the top of a hill; on the other side of the hill at the bottom is James’ farm.
Only one lane of the road is open. The other lane is fenced along with the rest of the farm. A security checkpoint is at one end of the gate.
A biker roars up to Nancy’s SUV he has a sawed-off shotgun. He drives the bike, aims the shotgun at Nancy’s tires, and FIRES. The shotgun round rips into Nancy’s right rear tire.
The SUV suddenly swerves to the right. Nancy throws herself onto the steering wheel and struggles to hold the SUV on the road. The SUV begins to fishtail then suddenly drives straight.
Out of nowhere a Molotov cocktail EXPLODES near the biker closest to the SUV. The biker swerves to avoid the explosion and runs off the road. The bike hits the ditch and becomes airborne. The biker flies in the opposite direction.
More Molotov cocktails fly through the air, EXPLODE on the road and into bikes causing pandemonium. Sparks fly from the wheel that had a flat tire; the rubber wore down to the steel rim.
They are very close to the James farm.
On gang member rides to the front of the SUV uses a club and smashes it into the SUV’s radiator. Nancy continues to weave and speeds forward to avoid the motorcycle gang.
The SUV starts to overheat, steam rolls out from under the hood. She continues to weave to avoid the gang.
Climax (P. 85 -100)
(Subplot A merges with the Plot) The farm is in sight. There is a heavy gate to the entrance of the farm. At the far southwestern corner of the farm stands a guard post within the fenced barb wire.
The farm boys use various handmade weapons such a trebuchet to fire upon the motorcycle gang.
The rest of the kids from the farm run to open the gate and provide a defense for Nancy and the kids so they can get into the farm.
James has issued weapons and the crew provides a formidable defense and eventually brings the motorcycle gang to its knees.
Most of the bikes are inoperable. The entire motorcycle gang is wounded in some fashion.
Nancy and the kids drive their battered SUV through the gate and around behind the fam house; they join in defending the farm.
Resolution (P. 100 – 110)
The motorcycle gang surrenders. They stand in a group outside the entrance gate. James tells them to get on what’s left of their bikes and move out except Machete.
With two toes missing and a gunshot wound to the opposant leg, James takes his motorcycle jacket, gives him a gallon of water, and sends him on his way on foot.
(Subplot B merges with the Plot) Tom dresses in civilian clothes. He walks with a limp, uses a cane and carries a backpack. He comes in sight of the farm.
A young lookout sounds a warning cry. James and Nancy come running from the house. As the man limps closer. At some point Nancy recognizes him as Tom. She runs to him, hugs and kisses him.
FADE OUT
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EXT. OKLAHOMA –CIMARRON BRIDGE – NIGHT
Nancy and Nikki, along with Sara and her son Jacob, drive across the Cimarron River bridge in a late model SUV. The come to a Gas Station and Store known as the “Black Market”.
EXT. OKLAHOMA – THE BLACK MARKET – PARKING LOT – NIGHT
The building and the parking lot are well lit. Nancy pulls in line to get gas at the station, creeps ahead and stops. In doing so she unknowingly butts in front of a Harley Davidson motorcycle.
The motorcycle’s owner SOUNDS his horn, stops and gets off his bike.
The owner wears a filthy jean jacket with the sleeves cut off. A name tag over the left pocket reads, “Machete”. Machete (45) is tall, masculine with long filthy brown hair. He puts the bike on its kick stand and makes a beeline to Nancy. He gets in Nancy’s face.
MACHETE
What the hell is wrong with you. I was here first.
NANCY
Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you waiting. If you’ll
excuse me, I need to pay for the gas.
Machete grabs her by the shoulders…
Nancy shakes him off…
She takes two steps back; executes a spinning round house kick, THUMP she that levels Machete flat on the ground. He’s knocked out.
Behind Machete his cohorts, on their bikes, LAUGH, and YELP at Machete’s demise.
Nancy heads to the Black-Market leaving Machete on the ground unconscious. A couple of his biker buddies help him on his feet. After several minutes—
MACHETE (OUT LOUD, TO HIMSELF)
I’m going make her pay for more than just gas.
Machete walks to the SUV and opens the back door…
Nancy’s daughter Nikki sits in the rear of the SUV…
She holds a nine MM pistol in the ready position.
SHOCKED Machete takes several steps back…
He SNEERS and steps forward…
Nikki lowers the pistol; BANG Nikki pulls the trigger.
Machete grabs his foot and yells some more. The bullet severed two of his toes.
Nancy comes out of the Black Market; she looks over at Machete, then rushes to the SUV.
Shuts the back door, climbs into the driver’s seat; starts the engine. She turns and looks at Nikki
NANCY
Nikki are you alright?
Nikki hods her head. Nancy pulls away from the gas pump and onto the highway. The bikers gather around the gas pump. One biker parks his bike and goes into the Black Market. Speaking with the clerk he finds out the Nancy got the last of the gas.
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Subject line: Dennis Chrisman Great Action Set Piece!
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Using all the lessons information, it becomes clear that pre-scene analysis and careful planning of action scenes are the key to making them more than just action scenes. Most all screenplay genres have some sort of action, whether it be killing or just an emotional conflict. By incorporating the pre-scene analysis following this prescription makes for a better written story.
Take an Action Set Piece from your outline and use the steps above to turn it into an amazing experience for the reader and audience.
1. Build in the meaning.
Pre-Action
– Create the need for action. Nancy and the kids have escaped from the gang and are headed to James’ farm.
– Demand a change the characters need to go through. Having been captured once none of the protagonist want to go through that torment again.
– Put a plan into action and see if it works.
– Test a relationship. Nancy, not knowing the future hopes that James’ farm and her dad and mom are alive and safe.
– Set up a question that matters to the audience. Will Nancy and the kids reach the farm unscathed.
Action
– Make the Action Unique. Nancy’s SUV is damaged and on its last leg. They no longer can escape and evade as normal.
– Create through the 9 Action Emotions.
Post-Action
– Reveals something new.
– Deeper relationship.
– More motivation to fight or defend.
– Another bad guy vanquished.
– Discovered a clue or piece of the puzzle.
– Intrigue has been uncovered.
2. Make the Action Unique.
STEP 1: List your 9 Places for Uniqueness.
§ Environment: Southwest United States in a world thrust into chaos.
§ Rule: The motorcycle gang has very few rules, but they still must adhere to simple physics, i.e., they must have gas to ride the motorcycles. The protagonist still plays fair and is further constrained by vehicle performance.
§ Villain: The antagonist strives to live without rules. They are armed, but low on logistics, i.e., ammunition and gas.
§ Struggle: The protagonist has instinctive survival skills and is more likely to fight than flight. The safety of the children is the struggle factor. While not cognizant, the protagonist’s need to protect the children is not only human/mother instinct, but she may consider them the future of mankind.
§ Mission: Get the children safely to the farm.
§ Unique Skillset of Hero: Ability to assimilate her police training and complete focus on the mission.
§ Meaning: The safety of the children is paramount. It’s akin to building a future for the United States.
§ Allies: There are no allies until they get into the firing range of the farm and other boobytraps set by the members of the farm.
§ Weapon: Guns. Chains, Molotov cocktails, etc.
STEP 2: Use Strategies for Uniqueness to elevate them.
– What if…? This scenario could take place in virtually any environment. The more complex the environment the more complex the scenario. This coincides with length and story. The more complex the scenario the story must be altered to fit the location and that may extend the length of the script by as much as 10 pages.
– Take to an extreme. What if there were two protagonists? This would split the antagonist forces to deal with the extra vehicle. What, if the protagonists were heavily armed or additional adults.
– Specific to character or environment. What if the character was a man? Would this affect the outcome of the script?
– Shocking or Surprising.
– Go opposite. The protagonist goes native and assimilates with the bikers.
– What haven’t we seen? Hand-to-hand combat or fighting. There should be more karate moves during the time the motorcycle gang has Nancy captive.
– Tell us about the improvements that you have made. Given the brainstorming idea of “What haven’t we seen yet”, Nancy becomes a “sparring” partner for some of the members of the motorcycle gang when they capture Nancy and the kids. She shows her fighting skills until she is so fatigued, she can’t fight anymore.
Create through the 9 Action Emotions.
The motorcycle gang follows Nancy. Adrenaline Nancy drives along a blacktop road at a high rate of speed. Various gang members pull alongside the SUV and strike it with motorcycle chains. Danger & Excitement Nancy swerves to avoid the damage. Fear At some point she drives off the road and becomes stuck. Danger
The gang grabs Nancy by her hair and drags her out of the SUV. Danger, Fear They grab Sara and the kids and pull them out of the SUV. They tie them up with zip cords.
Nancy, Sara and the kids stand with their hands behind their backs. Machete walks to Nancy and slaps her in the face. Danger Sara has pulled her hands in front of her and climbs on top of Machete; chokes him with the cable tie that secures her hands. Adrenaline, Excitement
Machete flings her off of him and hits her in the head with the butt of a rifle. Adrenaline Fear & Death Blood trickles from both her ears. Sara is dead.
Nancy is furious. Adrenaline, Excitement She slips from her cable ties and runs to the SUV. Along the way, she uses karate chops, kicks and throws to keep the gang at bay. Adrenaline, Excitement She makes it to the SUV, puts it into reverse and backs over several bikers and their bikes. She pulls forward, opens the doors and gets the kids into the SUV. Adrenaline, Excitement
4. Add in more twists.
§ The motorcycle gang can’t ride their bikes in the sand. She loses the gang; becomes lost herself.
Plan Fails ==== Plan Succeeds
§ He sits in a World War I style trench in his dugout cubby hole. He’s visible tired, filthy, and appears to be malnourished. He hears a loud buzzer. He gets up, picks up his weapon and heads over the top then moves into to Deadman’s Land.
Safety ==== Danger
§ Nancy and the kids are lost. They pile into the SUV and start down a steep rock incline. She ends up on the main road and drives forward.
Plan Fails ==== Plan Succeeds
§ Tom’s scared; he hears a rumbling near him. He pulls his rifle close and removes the bayonet and holds it in his hand. Medics with red cross bands on their arm and on their helmet pick him up and put him on a stretcher and take him back to the US side.
Safety ==== Danger
§ Various gang members pull alongside the SUV and strike it with motorcycle chains. Nancy swerves to avoid the damage. At some point she drives off the road and becomes stuck.
Protected ==== Attacked
§ Nancy and the kids stand with their hands behind their backs. Machete walks to Nancy and slaps her in the face. Sara comes to her rescue. Sara has pulled her hands in front of her and climbs on top of Machete; chokes him with the cable tie that secures her hand.
No Support ==== Unexpected Support
Post the outline of this Action Set
Storyline. Prologue: Nancy and the kids are close to James’ farm. Their SUV is about on its last leg; with the simile “on a wing and prayer”. We see steam coming out of the radiator and a bent wheel rim. The motorcycle gang continuous their pursuit and assault on Nancy’s SUV.
They roar up to the vehicle and kick it with their feet, use motorcycle chains to flail the side of the truck, doing everything possible to force Nancy off the road so they recapture their prey.
Nancy, however, is still not ready to call it quits, especially when they are so close to the farm. As Nancy drives down the road, she sifts her knees to the steering wheel to steer the SUV; grabs her nine MM pistol from the car seat. She quickly holds the pistol in her hand and checks the clip; there are four bullets left.
She calls for Nikki. Nikki comes from the back of the SUV. She’s covered in shards of glass and carefully brushes the broken glass from her clothes; she is unharmed. Nancy gives her the pistol and tells her to shoot the gas tanks. Nikki leans against the upper edge of the rear seat as it folds up next to the front seats.
She spots a Harley Davidson Electro-Glide, a police vehicle in another life with police accouterment. The rider wears a police crash helmet. Nikki aims at the motorcycle through the SUV’s busted out rear window. BANG. She hits the motorcycle gas tank. Precious gasoline begins to spill out of the tank and on to the road.
The leaking gas spills onto the motorcycle’s exhaust pipe and catches in FIRE. The bike and rider immediately swerve of the road, into a ditch; the bike explodes. The rider appears to be unharmed.
Another biker riding a Harley Davidson Cruiser takes the place of Electro-Glide. Nikki takes aim at his motorcycle’s gas tank and FIRES. It explodes immediately and the biker flies off the motorcycle.
Nancy drives her SUV to the top of a hill; on the other side of the hill at the bottom is James’ farm. Only one lane of the road is open. The other lane is fenced along with the rest of the farm. A security checkpoint is at one end of the gate.
A biker roars up to Nancy’s SUV he has a sawed-off shotgun. He drives the bike, aims the shotgun at Nancy’s tires, and FIRES. The shotgun round rips into Nancy’s right rear tire. The SUV suddenly swerves to the right. Nancy throws herself onto the steering wheel and struggles to hold the SUV on the road. The SUV begins to fishtail then suddenly drives straight.
Out of nowhere a Molotov cocktail
explodes near the biker closest to the SUV.
The biker swerves to avoid the explosion and runs off the road. The bike hits the ditch and becomes
airborne. The biker flies in the
opposite direction. More Molotov cocktails fly through the air, explode on the
road and into bikes causing pandemonium.
Sparks fly from the wheel that had a flat tire; the rubber wore down to
the steel rim. -
Subject line: Dennis Chrisman Unique Action!
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” This assignment shows how to dissect action scenes and brainstorm the action to see if it fits with the rest of the story. This makes the scene unique.
Looking at your entire story, what is unique about each of these places:
– Environment: Southwest United States in a world thrust into chaos.
– Rule: The motorcycle gang has very few rules, but they still must adhere to simple physics, i.e. they must have gas to ride the motorcycles. The protagonist still plays fair and is further constrained by vehicle performance.
– Villain: The antagonist strives to live without rules. They are armed, but low on logistics, i.e., ammunition and gas.
– Struggle: The protagonist has instinctive survival skills and is more likely to fight than flight. The safety of the children is the struggle factor. While not cognizant, the protagonist’s need to protect the children is not only human/mother instinct, but she may consider them the future of mankind.
– Mission: – Get the children safely to the farm.
– Unique Skillset of Hero: Ability to assimilate her police training and complete focus on the mission.
– Meaning: The safety of the children is paramount. It’s akin to building a future for the United States.
– Allies: There are no allies until they get into the firing range of the farm and other boobytraps set by the members of the farm.
– Weapon: Guns. Chains, Molotov cocktails, etc.
Brainstorm ways to make one or more of those places unique:
– What if…? This scenario could take place in virtually any environment. The more complex the environment the more complex the scenario. This coincides with length and story. The more complex the scenario the story must be altered to fit the location and that may extend the length of the script by as much as 10 pages.
– Take to an extreme. What if there were two protagonists? This would split the antagonist forces to deal with the extra vehicle. What, if the protagonists were heavily armed or additional adults.
– Specific to character or environment. What if the character was a man? Would this affect the outcome of the script?
– Shocking or Surprising.
– Go opposite. The protagonist goes native and assimilates with the bikers.
– What haven’t we seen? Hand-to-hand combat or fighting. There should be more karate moves during the time the motorcycle gang has Nancy captive.
Tell us about the improvements that you have made. Given the brainstorming idea of “What haven’t we seen yet”, Nancy becomes a “sparring” partner for some of the members of the motorcycle gang when they capture Nancy and the kids. She shows her fighting skills until she is so fatigued, she can’t fight anymore.
Storyline. Prologue: Nancy and the kids are close to James’ farm. Their SUV is about on its last leg; with the simile “on a wing and prayer”. We see steam coming out of the radiator and a bent wheel rim. The motorcycle gang continuous their pursuit and assault on Nancy’s SUV.
They roar up to the vehicle and kick it with their feet, use motorcycle chains to flail the side of the truck, doing everything possible to force Nancy off the road so they recapture their prey.
Nancy, however, is still not ready to call it quits, especially when they are so close to the farm. As Nancy drives down the road, she sifts her knees to the steering wheel to steer the SUV; grabs her nine MM pistol from the car seat. She quickly holds the pistol in her hand and checks the clip; there are four bullets left.
She calls for Nikki. Nikki comes from the back of the SUV. She’s covered in shards of glass and carefully brushes the broken glass from her clothes; she is unharmed. Nancy gives her the pistol and tells her to shoot the gas tanks. Nikki leans against the upper edge of the rear seat as it folds up next to the front seats.
She spots a Harley Davidson Electro-Glide, a police vehicle in another life with police accouterment. The rider wears a police crash helmet. Nikki aims at the motorcycle through the SUV’s busted out rear window. BANG. She hits the motorcycle gas tank. Precious gasoline begins to spill out of the tank and on to the road.
The leaking gas spills onto the motorcycle’s exhaust pipe and catches in FIRE. The bike and rider immediately swerve of the road, into a ditch; the bike explodes. The rider appears to be unharmed.
Another biker riding a Harley Davidson Cruiser takes the place of Electro-Glide. Nikki takes aim at his motorcycle’s gas tank and FIRES. It explodes immediately and the biker flies off the motorcycle.
Nancy drives her SUV to the top of a hill; on the other side of the hill at the bottom is James’ farm. Only one lane of the road is open. The other lane is fenced along with the rest of the farm. A security checkpoint is at one end of the gate.
A biker roars up to Nancy’s SUV he has a sawed-off shotgun. He drives the bike, aims the shotgun at Nancy’s tires, and FIRES. The shotgun round destroys Nancy’s right rear tire. The SUV suddenly swerves to the right. Nancy throws herself onto the steering wheel and struggles to hold the SUV on the road. The SUV begins to fishtail then suddenly drives straight.
Out of nowhere a Molotov cocktail explodes near the biker closest to the SUV. The biker swerves to avoid the explosion and runs off the road. The bike hits the ditch and becomes airborne. The biker flies in the opposite direction.
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Assignment 11: Level 2 Action Emotions (Dennis Chrisman)
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Using the methods described in the lesson, I was able to create a scene the depicts all three Emotions: Surprise, Shock, and Suspense. In this lesson the definitions, how to and example create a very understandable means to create these Level 2 Emotions.
Create a scene that uses all three of these Action emotions.
EXT. LAST STOP – OUTSIDE THE SUV – GAS PUMPS – DAY
At the “Last Stop” Nancy unintentionally cuts in front of the leader of a motorcycle gang, Machete. She apologizes, he is mean, but leaves her to pump gas. Unfortunately, Nancy uses the last of the gas. She hangs up the nozzle and apologizes.
Machete insults her then grabs her. Nancy takes two steps back and levels Machete with a spinning round house. Nancy goes into the store.
EXT./INT. INSIDE AND OUTSIDE THE NANCY’S SUV – DAY
While Nancy is inside the “Last Stop”, Machete wakes up and goes to the SUV. He tries to look into the mirrored windows but sees nothing. He steps to the rear of the SUV and opens the hatch. Behind the hatch rests Nikki, she points a nine mm pistol at him. Machete takes two steps backwards.
NIKKI
Mister you need to shut the door and
leave.
MACHETE
And, what if I don’t.
Nikki lowers the pistol, BANG. She shoots him in the foot. Machete hops on his good leg and howls.
Nancy comes out of the store and sees the commotion. She runs to the SUV, she stores the goods she purchased in the “Last Stop”, then goes to Nikki and takes the smoking nine mm pistol away from her; shuts the rear hatch. She gets in, starts the car and leaves the wounded Machete in the parking lot.
END SCENE
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Subject line: Dennis Chrisman Likability/Empathy/Justification
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”. This assignment shows the different characteristics that shed more light on necessity to show as imagines the heroine and the villain’s personality and morale conventions.
LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY The Heroine
A. Other people like or respect the character. Other people like the Heroine, she’s a loving mother and wife. She has a loving relationship with her husband and they both adore their child.
B. The character shows love for something. The Heroine loves her children, dog, and husband.
C. They’re trying to do something good. The heroine just wants to get to her father’s self-sufficient farm. To meet this mission, she saves a woman in destress, fights the villains and makes to her father’s farm.
D. Save the cat — rescue or do something good for someone else. She rescues the women at the bridge security checkpoint. And continues to escape, evade, and fight the villains. In doing so, she saves her daughter and the rest of the kids in her care.
E. Funny, humorous, witty. The heroine has a sense of humor through her voice and the various clever, resourceful tricks she plays on the motorcycle gang.
F. Kindness. She shows her kindness by loving her daughter, dog, and husband; through her fight with the villains to save the group of kids.
G. Good moral decisions and actions. Being on the right side. She makes the right decision to leave their suburban home, rescuing the woman and her child at the bridge, willingness to take two orphans with her on her trip to her father’s home.
EMPATHY / DISTRESS The Heroine
A. Undeserved misfortune. The heroine has lost her husband, house and almost all worldly possessions. Through an unintentional act, she has continued conflict with the motorcycle gang. Moreover, the woman she saved at the bridge security, was killed by the motorcycle gang.
B. External Character conflicts. After her unintentional act that disrupted the villains, she continues to combat the villains to a final conflict with the villains.
C. Plot intruding on life. The heroine doesn’t want the conflict, it was cast up on her.
D. Moral dilemmas. The heroine doesn’t want conflict with the villains, they force the issue, and she has the moral obligation to defend her child, the dog, and the gang she’s sworn to protect. She’s obligated to take her daughter, but not necessarily the woman and son at the bridge, nor the two orphans she pickups along the way.
E. Forced decisions they’d never make. She’s obligated to take her daughter, but not necessarily the woman and son at the bridge, nor the two orphans she pickup along the way. She picks them up because she knows they would never survive without her. Her background as a police officer, as a mother and her moral obligation as a human being, forces her to make these decisions.
F. Wound attacked. I not quite sure how to answer this question because the term “Wound Attacked” is not clearly defined within the context of the lesson. I assume this is in reference to the heroine in physical distress. The heroine becomes physically distressed when she is capture by the villains, intimidated and soft tortured. The kids are also intimidated. I haven’t determined if the dog is killed yet.
JUSTIFICATION The Heroine
A. The character or their family abused. Foremost, the heroine is forced from her home, not knowing if her husband is alive or dead. She is abused by the villains as she drives to the safety of her father’s farm. The she is eventually captured by the villains and intimidated, teased and tortured until a time she and kids can get away from the villains.
B. Threatened by others. Same as above.
C. The Hero is the victim of attacks. Same as above
D. They’ve suffered major losses. The woman they rescued at the bridge security checkpoint dies in the hands of the villains.
E. The Villain or their representatives have trespassed. They trespass in the sense they abuse and capture the heroine and kids, but not in the sense of ground appropriation.
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Assignment 7: Story Map
Dennis Chrisman Story Map!
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Interesting how the numbers work out (M19, V14 & A13). I make the assumption that in an action screenplay the numbers need to balance or fall towards the action (A) side, i.e. John Wick. I can see how this application is helpful in determining which of three has the highest number or skew the script so action for example is the highest number. It might be useful to calculate the ratio between a map number and number of words written, but I digress.
Opening: (p, 1 – 10)
The United States (US)is bankrupt and announced the protocol Force Majeure is in place and the US is under Martial Law. Nancy (NANCY) (29) goes to the gun range to shoot her 9-millimeter (mm) Glock (M1).
(Subplot A) She calls her dad (JAMES) (70) who lives on a self-sustaining farm. (M2) James invites Nancy and Tom to visit the farm this next week. They agree to go.
(Subplot B) Husband Tom (TOM) (32) tries to get gas and go to work. At the Gas Station a man named Machete (MACHETE) (45) (V1) kills the gas station owner. Tom leaves, but is abducted into the Army and is sent to the Pacific Front to fight the Chinese.
Nancy and Nikki, (NIKKI) (9) start out to the James’ farm (M4). They were told by a stranger that the only place to get gas is at a renegade gas station called the “Last Stop” across the river that borders the town. Nancy comes across a woman Sara (SARA) (26) in distress at a security checkpoint. Nancy uses as M-45 adaptor to mount on the Glock 9 mm to shoot the guards (A2). She saves Sara (Sara) (26) and her son Jamal (JAMAL) (12). She drives across the bridge to the “Last Stop”. (M4)
Inciting Incident (P. 10 – 15)
At the “Last Stop” Nancy unintentionally cuts in front of the leader of a motorcycle gang, Machete (V3). She apologizes, he is mean, but leaves her to pump gas. Unfortunately, Nancy uses the last of the gas. She hangs up the nozzle and apologizes (M5). Machete insults her then grabs her (A3). Nancy takes two steps back and levels Machete (V4) with a spinning round house (A4).
She goes into the “Last Stop”. While she’s in the store Machete opens the back of Nancy’s SUV and stares into the barrel of the nine mm Glock. Nikki tells him to shut the door and leave. He backs up then takes a step forward, cussing at Nikki. She shoots him in the foot (A5). He backs up howling; Nikki shuts the door. Nancy returns gets in the SUV and drives off (M6).
(Subplot A) Nancy calls James and tells him the news to date and that they are on the way to the farm (M7).
First Turning Point at end of Act 1 (P. 15 – 35)
It’s night; Nancy drives along an empty highway with the kids singing in the back of the SUV. The stop at a lone farmhouse to get some water for their SUV (M8). An older couple lives there. They have a boy (Greg) (7) and a girl (Susan) (6), their grandkids. They are orphaned. The older couple gives them to Nancy for care. The gang stops; they light a fire and setup camp for the night (M9). The bikers joke and make fun of Machete(V5). He has his boot off; looks at the gap left by his two missing toes. He wraps a rag around the bloody wound, howling in pain. He vows to capture that woman and sell her and those kids at the “Last Stop” (V6).
Nancy and the kids turn onto a sandy road and up the mountains to a Ranger Station at the end of the road. They are able to break in the station, eat and find comfort sleeping in bunk beds. (M10)
Back on the road Nancy and the kids drive down the mountain. She passes the gang’s makeshift camp. The motorcycle gang follows and catch up to her. Nancy takes another turn onto a sand covered road. The motorcycle gang can’t ride their bikes in the sand. She loses the gang; becomes lost herself (M11).
Mid-Point (P. 25 – 35)
(Subplot A) James drives to a neighbor’s house to pick up fencing. The neighbor is dead. Next, he drives to the local town to find it’s in shambles. He runs across three young teenage boys trying to steal a rat from a young girl. He puts a stop to it, gathers them up and takes them his farm.
(Subplot B) Tom is soldering at the Pacific front. He sits in a World War I style trench in his dugout cubby hole. He’s visible tired, filthy, and appears to be malnourished. He hears a loud buzzer. He gets up, picks up his weapon and heads over the top then moves into to Deadman’s Land. (A6)
Nancy and has parked the SUV, she and Sara are outside leaning over the hood looking at a map and holding a compass. They hear but don’t see the motorcycles. Suddenly, Nancy points to the map then shows Sara the compass. They pile into the SUV and start down a steep rock incline. She ends up on the main road and drives forward. (M12)
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2 (P. 35-55)
(Subplot B) Tom is shot. (A7) He falls to the ground unable to get up. He hears the busser signaling retreat. He appears to be stuck in Deadman’s’ Land. A Chinese bugle sounds. Tom’s scared; he hears a rumbling near him. He pulls his rifle close and removes the bayonet and holds it in his hand. Medics with red cross bands on their arm and on their helmet pick him up and put him on a stretcher and take him back to the US side.
The gang is on the blacktop and behind Nancy. Various gang members pull alongside the SUV and strike it with motorcycle chains (V7). Nancy swerves to avoid the damage. At some point she drives off the road and becomes stuck.
The gang grabs Nancy by the hair and drags her out of the SUV. They grab Sara and the kids and pull them out of the SUV. (V8) They tie them up with zip cords. Nancy and the kids stand with their hands behind their backs. Machete walks to Nancy and slaps her in the face (A8) (V9). Sara comes to her rescue (M13). Sara has pulled her hands in front of her and climbs on top of Machete; chokes him with the cable tie that secures her hand (A9).
Machete flings her off of him and hits her in the head with the butt of a rifle (V10) (A10). Blood trickles from both her ears. Sara is dead.
Nancy is furious. She slips from her cable ties and runs to the SUV. Along the way, she uses karate chops, kicks and throws to keep the gang at bay (A11). She makes it to the SUV, puts it into reverse and backs over several bikers and their bikes. She pulls forward, opens the doors and gets the kids into the SUV. (M13)
Crisis (P 55 – 85)
Nancy and the kids minus Sara are driving fast to get away from the gang. (M14) Various members of the gang ride up to the SUV and try and serve into to it off the road (V11) (A12). They drive up and damage the SUV by striking it with motorcycle chains and clubs. (V12) (A13)
The are very close to the James farm. On gang member rides to the front of the SUV uses a club and smashes it into the SUV’s radiator. (V14) Nancy continues to weave and speeds forward to avoid the motorcycle gang. The SUV starts to overheat, steam rolls out from under the hood. She continues to weave to avoid the gang. (M15)
Climax (P. 85 -100)
(Subplot A merges with the Plot) The farm is in sight (M16). She is on the phone with her father. There is a heavy gate to the entrance of the farm. At the far southwestern corner of the farm stands a guard post within the fenced barb wire farm. The farm boys use various handmade weapons such a trebuchet to fire upon the motorcycle gang. The rest of the kids from the farm run to open the gate and provide a defense for Nancy and the kids so they can get into the farm (M17).
James has issued weapons and the crew provides a formidable defense and eventually brings the motorcycle gang to its knees. Most of the bikes are inoperable. The entire motorcycle gang is wounded in some fashion. (A14) (V13) Nancy and the kids drive their battered SUV through the gate and around behind the fam house; they join in defending the farm. (M18)
Resolution (P. 100 – 110)
The motorcycle gang surrenders. They stand in a group outside the entrance gate. (V14) James tells them to get on what’s left of their bikes and move out except Machete (V15). With two toes missing and a gunshot wound to the opposite leg, James takes his motorcycle colors gives him a gallon of water and sends him on his way on foot.
(Subplot B merges with the Plot) Tom dresses in civilian clothes. He walks with a limp, uses a cane and carries a backpack. He comes in sight of the farm. A young lookout sounds a warning cry. James and Nancy come running from the house. As the man limps closer. At some point Nancy recognizes him as James. She runs to him, hugs and kisses him. (M19)
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Assignment 6: The Secret of High-Quality Structure
Dennis Chrisman Action Structure!
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” It becomes easier to outline the storyline using the structure techniques from the various lessons. I took longer than usually to rough out a synopsis of the story. This becomes a prelude to Lesson 7.
Opening: (p, 1 – 10)
The United States (US)is bankrupt and announced the protocol Force Majeure is in place and the US is under Martial Law. Nancy (NANCY) (29) goes to the gun range to shoot her 9-millimeter (mm) Glock.
(Subplot A) She calls her dad (JAMES) (70) who lives on a self-sustaining farm. James invites Nancy and Tom to visit the farm this next week. They agree to go.
(Subplot B) Husband Tom (TOM) (32) tries to get gas and go to work. At the Gas Station a man named Machete (MACHETE) (45) kills the gas station owner. Tom leaves but is abducted into the Army and is sent to the Pacific Front to fight the Chinese.
Nancy and Nikki, (NIKKI) (9) start out to the James’ farm. They were told by a stranger that the only place to get gas is at a renegade gas station called the “Last Stop” across the river that borders the town. Nancy comes across a woman Sara (SARA) (26) in distress at a security checkpoint. Nancy uses as M-45 adaptor to mount on the Glock 9 mm to shoot the guards. She saves Sara (Sara) (26) and her son Jamal (JAMAL) (12). She drives across the bridge to the “Last Stop”
Inciting Incident (P. 10 – 15)
At the “Last Stop” Nancy unintentionally cuts in front of the leader of a motorcycle gang, Machete. She apologizes, he is mean, but leaves her to pump gas. Unfortunately, Nancy uses the last of the gas. She hangs up the nozzle and apologizes. Machete insults her then grabs her. Nancy takes two steps back and levels Machete with a spinning round house.
She goes into the “Last Stop”. While she’s in the store Machete opens the back of Nancy’s SUV and stares into the barrel of the nine mm Glock. Nikki tells him to shut the door and leave. He backs up then takes a step forward, cussing at Nikki. She shoots him in the toes. He backs up howling; Nikki shuts the door. Nancy returns gets in the SUV and drives off.
(Subplot A) Nancy calls James and tells him the news to date and that they are on the way to the farm.
First Turning Point at end of Act 1 (P. 15 – 35)
It’s night; Nancy drives along an empty highway with the kids singing in the back of the SUV. The stop at a lone farmhouse to get some water for their SUV. An older couple lives there. They have a boy (Greg) (7) and a girl (Susan) (6), their grandkids. They are orphaned. The older couple gives them to Nancy for care. The gang stops; they light a fire and setup camp for the night. The bikers joke and make fun of Machete. He has his boot off; looks at the gap left by his two missing toes. He wraps a rag around the bloody wound, howling in pain. He vows to capture that woman and sell her and those kids at the “Last Stop”.
Nancy and the kids turn onto a sandy road and up the mountains to a Ranger Station at the end of the road. They are able to break in the station, eat and find comfort sleeping in bunk beds.
Back on the road Nancy and the kids drive down the mountain. She passes the gang’s makeshift camp. The motorcycle gang follows and catch up to her. Nancy takes another turn onto a sand covered road. The motorcycle gang can’t ride their bikes in the sand. She loses the gang; becomes lost herself.
Mid-Point (P. 25 – 35)
(Subplot A) James drives to a neighbor’s house to pick up fencing. The neighbor is dead. Next, he drives to the local town to find it’s in shambles. He runs across three young teenage boys trying to steal a rat from a young girl. He puts a stop to it, gathers them up and takes them his farm.
(Subplot B) Tom is soldering at the Pacific front. He sits in a World War I style trench in his dugout cubby hole. He’s visible tired, filthy, and appears to be malnourished. He hears a loud buzzer. He gets up, picks up his weapon and heads over the top then moves into to Deadman’s Land.
Nancy and has parked the SUV, she and Sara are outside leaning over the hood looking at a map and holding a compass. They hear but don’t see the motorcycles. Suddenly, Nancy points to the map then shows Sara the compass. They pile into the SUV and start down a steep rock incline. She ends up on the main road and drives forward.
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2 (P. 35-55)
(Subplot B) Tom is shot. He falls to the ground unable to get up. He hears the busser signaling retreat. He appears to be stuck in Deadman’s’ Land. A Chinese bugle sounds. Tom’s scared; he hears a rumbling near him. He pulls his rifle close and removes the bayonet and holds it in his hand. Medics with red cross bands on their arm and on their helmet pick him up and put him on a stretcher and take him back to the US side.
The gang is on the blacktop and behind Nancy. Various gang members pull alongside the SUV and strike it with motorcycle chains. Nancy swerves to avoid the damage. At some point she drives off the road and becomes stuck.
The gang grabs Nancy by the hair and drags her out of the SUV. They grab Sara and the kids and pull them out of the SUV. They tie them up with zip cords. Nancy and the kids stand with their hands behind their backs. Machete walks to Nancy and slaps her in the face. Sara comes to her rescue. Sara has pulled her hands in front of her and climbs on top of Machete; chokes him with the cable tie that secures her hand.
Machete flings her off of him and hits her in the head with the butt of a rifle. Blood trickles from both her ears. Sara is dead.
Nancy is furious. She slips from her cable ties and runs to the SUV. Along the way, she uses karate chops, kicks and throws to keep the gang at bay. She makes it to the SUV, puts it into reverse and backs over several bikers and their bikes. She pulls forward, opens the doors and gets the kids into the SUV.
Crisis (P 55 – 85)
Nancy and the kids minus Sara are driving fast to get away from the gang. Various members of the gang ride up to the SUV and try and serve into to it off the road. The drive up and damage the SUV by striking it with motorcycle chains and clubs.
They are very close to the James farm. On gang member rides to the front of the SUV uses a club and smashes it into the SUV’s radiator. Nancy continues to weave and speeds forward to avoid the motorcycle gang. The SUV starts to overheat, steam rolls out from under the hood. She continues to weave to avoid the gang.
Climax (P. 85 -100)
(Subplot A merges with the Plot) The farm is in sight. She is on the phone with her father. There is a heavy gate to the entrance of the farm. At the far southwestern corner of the farm stands a guard post within the fenced barb wire farm. The farm boys use various handmade weapons such a trebuchet to fire upon the motorcycle gang. The rest of the kids from the farm run to open the gate and provide a defense for Nancy and the kids so they can get into the farm.
James has issued weapons and the crew provides a formidable defense and eventually brings the motorcycle gang to its knees. Most of the bikes are inoperable. The entire motorcycle gang is wounded in some fashion. Nancy and the kids drive their battered SUV through the gate and around behind the fam house; they join in defending the farm.
Resolution (P. 100 – 110)
The motorcycle gang surrenders. They stand in a group outside the entrance gate. James tells them to get on what’s left of their bikes and move out except Machete. With two toes missing and a gunshot wound to the opposant leg, James takes his motorcycle colors gives him a gallon of water and sends him on his way on foot.
(Subplot B merges with the Plot) Tom dresses in civilian clothes. He walks with a limp, uses a cane and carries a backpack. He comes in sight of the farm. A young lookout sounds a warning cry. James and Nancy come running from the house. As the man limps closer. At some point Nancy recognizes him as James. She runs to him, hugs and kisses him.
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Assignment 5: The Secret of High-Quality Structure
Dennis Chrisman Action Structure!
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” It becomes easier to outline the storyline using the information and techniques from the various lessons. I toke longer than usually to rough a synopsis of the story.
Opening: (p, 1 – 10)
The United States (US)is bankrupt and announced the protocol Force Majeure is in place and the US is under Martial Law. Nancy (NANCY) (29) goes to the gun range to shoot her 9-millimeter (mm) Glock.
(Subplot A) She calls her dad (JAMES) (70) who lives on a self-sustaining farm. James invites Nancy and Tom to visit the farm this next week. They agree to go.
(Subplot B) Husband Tom (TOM) (32) tries to get gas and go to work. At the Gas Station a man named Machete (MACHETE) (45) kills the gas station owner. Tom leaves, but is abducted into the Army and is sent to the Pacific Front to fight the Chinese.
Nancy and Nikki, (NIKKI) (9) start out to the James’ farm. They were told by a stranger that the only place to get gas is at a renegade gas station called the “Last Stop” across the river that borders the town. Nancy comes across a woman Sara (SARA) (26) in distress at a security checkpoint. Nancy uses as M-45 adaptor to mount on the Glock 9 mm to shoot the guards. She saves Sara (Sara) (26) and her son Jamal (JAMAL) (12). She drives across the bridge to the “Last Stop”
Inciting Incident (P. 10 – 15)
At the “Last Stop” Nancy unintentionally cuts in front of the leader of a motorcycle gang, Machete. She apologizes, he is mean, but leaves her to pump gas. Unfortunately, Nancy uses the last of the gas. She hangs up the nozzle and apologizes. Machete insults her then grabs her. Nancy takes two steps back and levels Machete with a spinning round house.
She goes into the “Last Stop”. While she’s in the store Machete opens the back of Nancy’s SUV and stares into the barrel of the nine mm Glock. Nikki tells him to shut the door and leave. He backs up then takes a step forward, cussing at Nikki. She shoots him in the toes. He backs up howling; Nikki shuts the door. Nancy returns gets in the SUV and drives off.
(Subplot A) Nancy calls James and tells him the news to date and that they are on the way to the farm.
First Turning Point at end of Act 1 (P. 15 – 35)
It’s night; Nancy drives along an empty highway with the kids singing in the back of the SUV. The stop at a lone farm house to get some water for their SUV. An older couple lives there. They have a boy (Greg) (7) and a girl (Susan) (6), their grandkids. The are orphaned. The older couple gives them to Nancy for care. The gang stops; they light a fire and setup camp for the night. The bikers joke and make fun of Machete. He has his boot off; looks at the gap left by his two missing toes. He wraps a rag around the bloody wound, howling in pain. He vows to capture that woman and sell her and those kids at the “Last Stop”.
Nancy and the kids turn onto a sandy road and up the mountains to a Ranger Station at the end of the road. The are able to break in the station, eat and find comfort sleeping in bunk beds.
Back on the road Nancy and the kids drive down the mountain. She passes the gang’s makeshift camp. The motorcycle gang follows and catch up to her. Nancy takes another turn onto a sand covered road. The motorcycle gang can’t ride their bikes in the sand. She loses the gang; becomes lost herself.
Mid-Point (P. 25 – 35)
(Subplot A) James drives to a neighbor’s house to pick up fencing. The neighbor is dead. Next, he drives to the local town to find it’s in shambles. He runs across three young teenage boys trying to steal a rat from a young girl. He puts a stop to it, gathers them up and takes them his farm.
(Subplot B) Tom is soldering at the Pacific front. He sits in a World War I style trench in his dugout cubby hole. He’s visible tired, filthy, and appears to be malnourished. He hears a loud buzzer. He gets up, picks up his weapon and heads over the top then moves into to Deadman’s Land.
Nancy and has parked the SUV, she and Sara are outside leaning over the hood looking at a map and holding a compass. They hear but don’t see the motorcycles. Suddenly, Nancy points to the map then shows Sara the compass. They pile into the SUV and start down a steep rock incline. She ends up on the main road and drives forward.
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2 (P. 35-55)
(Subplot B) Tom is shot. He falls to the ground unable to get up. He hears the busser signaling retreat. He appears to be stuck in Deadman’s’ Land. A Chinese bugle sounds. Tom’s scared; he hears a rumbling near him. He pulls his rifle close and removes the bayonet and holds it in his hand. Medics with red cross bands on their arm and on their helmet pick him up and put him on a stretcher and take him back to the US side.
The gang is on the blacktop and behind Nancy. Various gang members pull along side the SUV and strike it with motorcycle chains. Nancy swerves to avoid the damage. At some point she drives off the road and becomes stuck.
The gang grabs Nancy by the hair and drags her out of the SUV. They grab Sara and the kids and pull them out of the SUV. They tie them up with zip cords. Nancy and the kids stand with their hands behind their backs. Machete walks to Nancy and slaps her in the face. Sara comes to her rescue. Sara has pulled her hands in front of her and climbs on top of Machete; chokes him with the cable tie that secures her hand.
Machete flings her off of him and hits her in the head with the butt of a rifle. Blood trickles from both her ears. Sara is dead.
Nancy is furious. She slips from her cable ties and runs to the SUV. Along the way, she uses karate chops, kicks and throws to keep the gang at bay. She makes it to the SUV, puts it into reverse and backs over several bikers and their bikes. She pulls forward, opens the doors and gets the kids into the SUV.
Crisis (P 55 – 85)
Nancy and the kids minus Sara are driving fast to get away from the gang. Various members of the gang ride up to the SUV and try and serve into to it off the road. The drive up and damage the SUV by striking it with motorcycle chains and clubs.
The are very close to the James farm. On gang member rides to the front of the SUV uses a club and smashes it into the SUV’s radiator. Nancy continues to weave and speeds forward to avoid the motorcycle gang. The SUV starts to over heat, steam rolls out from under the hood. She continues to weave to avoid the gang.
Climax (P. 85 -100)
(Subplot A merges with the Plot) The farm is in sight. She is on the phone with her father. There is a heavy gate to the entrance of the farm. At the far southwestern corner of the farm stands a guard post with in the fenced barb wire farm. The farm boys use various hand made weapons such a trebuchet to fire upon the motorcycle gang. The rest of the kids from the farm run to open the gate and provide a defense for Nancy and the kids so they can get into the farm.
James has issued weapons and the crew provides a formidable defense and eventually brings the motorcycle gang to its knees. Most of the bikes are inoperable. The entire motorcycle gang is wounded in some fashion. Nancy and the kids drive their battered SUV through the gate and around behind the fam house; they join in defending the farm.
Resolution (P. 100 – 110)
The motorcycle gang surrenders. They stand in a group outside the entrance gate. James tells them to get on what’s left of their bikes and move out except Machete. With two toes missing and a gunshot wound to the opposant leg, James takes his motorcycle colors gives him a gallon of water and sends him on his way on foot.
(Subplot B merges with the Plot) Tom dresses in civilian clothes. He walks with a limp, uses a cane and carries a backpack. He comes in sight of the farm. A young lookout sounds a warning cry. James and Nancy come running from the house. As the man limps closer. At some point Nancy recognizes him as James. She runs to him, hugs and kisses him.
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Subject Line: Dennis Chrisman, Action Track!
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”. Action, like other scenes must have a purpose and sequenced properly to maintain the storyline and create an escalating feeling of suspense for the audience. Structuring the Action Track helps in the layout of the action scenes that correlate with the other scenes that support the action and culminate with the storyline.
1. Answer the Action Questions:
A. Considering the concept from Lesson 1, what action could naturally show up in this movie?
The Protagonist threatened with rape is the first act of violence and ended by her daughter. Next is the Protagonist, who defends a woman and her young boy at a bridge she needs to cross.
Next is when the fun begins. She embarrasses Machete at the Black Market. Machete sees her and her kids as a quick buck and maybe uses them for pleasure before selling them. The real action begins as the Protagonist evades Machete, ambushes the motorcycle gang, fights with them. The folks at the farm capture the Antagonist at some point in Act III.
B. Considering the Mission and Villain Tracks, what action could work for this track?
Chase/Pursuit, Fight, Shootout, Escape and Evade, Dangerous Situations, interrogation, Torture.
C. How can the action start and build in the 2nd Act, and escalate to a climax in the 3rd Act?
The script puts the Protagonist in a position where it’s fight or flight; she is naturally a fighter. She shows this by defending the woman at the bridge. This progressive violence escalates in Act II and culminates in Act III.
2. Select the types of action you’ll use.
Dangerous Situations, Fight, Chase/Pursuit, Capture, Interrogation, Torture, Escape and Evade, Shootout,
3. Sequence the action scenes to deliver your story. Give us your list of action scenes and the purpose of each scene.
Dangerous Situations
Purpose. This running gun battle between the Protagonist and the Antagonists begins in the Black Market, where the Protagonist embarrasses the Antagonist in front of his peers. The Antagonist follows the Protagonist and discovers she has kids and survival items. This is the catalyst that starts Act II.
Fight
Purpose. Associated with Chase/Pursuit is the fight before the capture. This also creates a winner/loser situation where the audience wants the Protagonist to fight the Antagonist skillfully, and just when all is lost, the Protagonist can flee.
Chase/Pursuit
Purpose. Chase/Pursuit adds a sense of nailing biting suspense. The audience watches the Antagonist’s chase and barely catch the Protagonist in several scenes. Each scene escalates the suspense by the Protagonist, who evades the Antagonist.
Capture
Purpose. The capture culminates the fight scene and adds more suspense to the storyline. The audience doesn’t know whether the Protagonist will escape, torture, or die. This adds to the escalating suspense.
Interrogation
Purpose. The interrogation begins when Machete captures the Protagonist and sees where she hides her SUV, goods, and the kids. At some point, the motorcycle gang discovers the kids. The gang torments the kids but settle on simple torture to get answers from the Protagonist.
Torture
Purpose While an unbearable thought, this would fall under the category of “soft” torture. Slapping around, minimal water torture, etc. The purpose is to show the Antagonist will do something like this to demonstrate their power over the Protagonist.
Escape/Evade
Purpose. It is necessary for the Protagonist to escape, gather the kids then evade the Antagonist to finish their mission. This permits the Protagonist to set booby traps along the way to maintain a respectful gap from the Antagonist.
Shootout
Purpose. Both the Antagonist and the Protagonist have weapons. A shootout will inevitably occur. How lethal is yet to be determined. We do know the Protagonist wins in a final shootout.
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Assignment 4: The Villain Track
Subject line: Dennis Chrisman Villain Track!
Deadline: 2 Days
1. Ask the Villain Track questions to discover your Villain’s plan, decisions, and actions.
A. What might be the Villain’s plan to accomplish a bad outcome or annihilate the hero? The plan could be pre-existing or created on the spot.
After Machete is embarrassed by Shari in the black market and discovers that she has kids, he determines that he can pay her back by capturing the group and selling them for cash.
Along the way, he intends to seek pleasure by teasing the group and seeking sexual pleasure.
B. How many ways can the Villain attack or destroy the hero?
Machete is the leader of a rag-tag group of anarchists that vow to do what they want to do regardless of the circumstance or outcome. They ride cobbled-together, odd-job motorcycles and a truckload of fuel, barter items, and food. The Villain and his gang can destroy the hero by capturing them intact for sale on the black market. They want to destroy her freedom by attacking and capturing the SUV they drive. They can do this by disabling the SUV by flattening the tires, forcing the truck off the road, or destroying the radiator.
C. What advantage does the Villain have, and how can they exploit that in this movie? They live by no moral rules, and the gang only answers Machete because he’s bigger and stronger than anyone else in the group. Machete is a one-percenter that cares only for his own narcissistic needs.
D. What would be a “fitting end” for this Villain where they pay for what they’ve done? A fitting punishment for Machete would be if he died at the end; however, some punishments are worse than death. Most of his gang is dead. All the motorcycles are destroyed or are inoperable. They strip him of everything except his tee-shirt and jeans. They broke his lower leg, and he must walk away from food, water, and transportation.
2. Include labels with each step of their plan.
MISTAKE: The Villain under-estimates the determination and tenacity of the women and the kids.
They use every dirty trick to survive and defeat the Villain. The Villain must survive the attacks and re-focus his plan.
DILEMMA: Because of this underestimation, the Villain loses gang members, motorcycles, and their tenacity weakness. The Villain must make every effort to maintain the gang’s morale and keep them focused on the mission and the rewards at the end.
DECISION/KILL HIM: The protagonist and the kids do not want to kill the Villain; they want him to leave them alone, so they can safely arrive at the farm. Who knows, he might die in the end,
PLAN/HIDING OUT: They don’t hide out. They stop when she stops and sleep when they can. They maintain minimal security at night. The protagonist takes advantage of the situation.
CAPTURE: The very few gang members left at the end are captured, stripped of all their worldly goods, taken back to the Black Market, and dumped to defend themselves. The Villain must walk back to the Black Market on his own.
RETALIATION: The Villain and his gang try and retaliate each time the antagonist defeats them, but they are less powerful each time, especially when they suffer a loss.
FITTING ENDING: There is a showdown at the end that involves the Villain and his gang, the protagonist and her kids, and Dad and the group at his farm. This overwhelms the group.
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I recently retired from the Department of the Army as civilian with the National Simulation Center (NSC) at Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. My last assignment was Chief, Technology for the Global Simulation Capability. In that capacity I oversaw simulation technical operations and ensured its technical delivery over a close loop, encrypted, internet. Together, with my team, we ran the largest wargame in the world.
I began my civilian career in 1987 as a Counter-terrorism Specialist with the US Army Command and General Staff Center & School. There I developed counterterrorism policy and taught mid-level military officers.
During my tenure, as an Army civilian, I have trained Soldiers in 24 countries using computer simulations and was the NSC liaison to the CIA and DIA.
A former Captain in the Army Reserve, my assignments included: Executive Officer, Psychological Operations Company; Commander, Special Forces Operational Detachment A; Special Forces Intelligence Officer; Commander, Military Intelligence Company; and Strategic Plans Officer on General Staff.
I hold a Master of Science degree in Adult Education, graduating with a 4.0 GPA / 4.0 scale, and a Bachelor of Science degree in Sociology; both from Kansas State University (Go Wildcats). I have guest lectured at several major academic institutions to include Harvard University, the Naval Post Graduate School, United States Military Academy and Kansas State University among others.
Away from work, my foremost interest is spending time with my beloved family. I’m an avid beekeeper and gardener. A published author: I have written several full-length screenplays and I’m currently working on my first novel. I’m married to my best friend Genevieve (Kohl) Chrisman (35 years). We have three sons: the twins, Elliot and Hunter (28) and Zachary (31)
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Cheryl, Where do I find Assignment 3 lesson plan so I can get started on Assignment 3 answers.
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Assignment 2: Heroes and Villains that Sell the Roles
Subject Line:
Dennis Chrisman Heroes and Villains
What I’ve learned from this assignment: Subtle changes can wreak havoc on the storyline but offer alternatives that might bolster the story and make it better. The class notes provide a nifty way to explore storyline alternatives or increase the protagonist’s effectiveness without weakening the antagonist’s intent and his mission.
Concept:
Hero Morally Right: The protagonist Shari Thomas (Shari) (29) travels to her dad’s self-sustaining farm (Sub Plot A), hauling four children (kids), including her daughter Anna (Anna) (10), to seek refuge from a world of chaos and wait for her husband Michael (Mike) (32) (Sub Plot B) who the government drafted to fight the Chinese on the Pacific Coast front. Villain Morally Wrong: An anarchist motorcycle gang led by the lead Antagonist Machete Manchette (Machete) (45) preys on Shari and her kids for fun pleasure and sells them on the Black Market.
– If the motorcycle gang doesn’t prey on Shari, how might that change the storyline.
Hero
Unique Skill Set: Reserve Police Officer with expert Police skills and tactics, and an amateur MMA fighter with MMA skills. Motivation: Husband is gone, chaos rules the land, and she has to get to her dad’s farm with the kids safe. Secret or Wound: Shari is worried about her husband; she’s under a lot of stress managing the kids and their safety. The woman at the river checkpoint she saved weighs on her mind, who Machete and his crew killed. Now she feels obligated to over protect her ten-year-old son.
– If her husband was with her, how might he change the Hero?
Villain
Unbeatable: Machete and his crew form an invincible killer squad bound to capture Shari and her kids. Plan/Goal: Uses motorcycle gang tactics and older, makeshift weapons to capture Shari and her kids for intimidation sexual pleasure and sell them on the black market. What they lose if Hero survives: Motorcycle gang death and wounds suffered in scrimmages with Shari; lose ~$10k potential pay for the<s> </s>sale of Shari and her kids.
– If Machete wins in the end, how might the win change the storyline?
Impossible Mission
Puts Heroin Action: Almost raped and has a clash with a band of untrained militia, Shari now fights an anarchist motorcycle gang<s> </s>to complete her journey. Shari was shot in a non-mortality spot during a skirmish with the motorcycle gang. <div>
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Demands They Go Beyond Their Best:
The motorcycle gang is close to Shari and her kids. They try and destroy the truck they are in by using motorcycle chains as weapons. Shari must fight through her mental and physical pain and torment with the one goal to reach her dad’s farm. Destroy the Villain: Machete dies in the end.
– If Shari dies, then how might Machete live and win?
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Dennis A. Chrisman
I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Action Lesson 1: Creating Your Action Concept
Subject Line: Dennis Chrisman Concepts and Conventions
What I’ve learned from this assignment: Compelling, inventive, and thoughtful Concepts and Convention is paramount with Inventive Decisions underpinned by: Creativity, Smart Decisions out of the box thinking to discover better decisions.
High Concept: A result of US Force Majeure chaos and lawlessness spread across the nation; a mother with creative fighting skills must move to her dad’s farm while protecting her daughter and others that need help (her pack)
· Hero: Highly memorable and intriguing female character with creative fighting skills; a cunning escape artist who protects her pack and meets the mission… but not without a fight.
· Demand for Action: The protagonist encounters and defends her pack, and meets her mission fighting looters, untrained militia, and ruthless anarchists.
· Mission: To make it through the gauntlet of the antagonist, who wishes to stop her from her from reaching dad’s farm while protecting her pack.
· Antagonist: The main antagonist is a group of ruthless, mobile, and rogue anarchists who want the protagonists for pleasure and black-market sale.
· Escalating Action: The Protagonist encounters:
— A looter inside her home attempts to rape her, but the daughter shoots and kills him.
— Untrained militias guarding a bridge; having fun with another woman. The protagonist kills and wounds several from a distance with a special adaptor to her Glock nine-millimeter. They cross the bridge and end up in the river floating to safety.
— A gang of mobile, rogue anarchists wants her and the kids for pleasure and black-market sale. She escapes, evades, and fights the gang while traveling to meet the mission with a large-scale fight at the end.