[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Key Business Decisions

What I learned: I’m still working on the concept. I’m going to try playing with it in ChatGTP. It’s not quite there yet.

Give us the decisions that are in your current High Budget script:

• Genre: Comedy

• Title: Waking Up in Vegas

• Concept: A blackjack savant, who is banned from every Vegas casino, is forced out of retirement by her drug-dealing mother who is on the lam after stealing product (and customers!) from the cartel.

• Audience: Primary = Women over 25. Secondary = Men over 25.

• Budget: $5-$10M

• Lead Characters = Kenya: Protagonist (early 30s). Retired professional blackjack player in Gambler’s Anonymous struggles to stay away from the tables and on the right side of the law.

Ruby: Antagonist (early 60s). Laid back. Loose moral compass. Pot-smoking, pot-dealing mother of Kenya who accidentally creates telekinetic pot muffins (with stolen cartel plants) that EVERYONE wants.

TJ: Kenya’s son (12 going on 20); Ruby’s grandson/partner in crime. Always scheming. Clever. Disobedient like his grandmother.

Ernesto (late 20s): Tough cartel thug with a soft spot for Ruby. Conflicted over having to kill her after discovering she stole product to harvest her own weed.

Journey / Character Arc = Retired blackjack savant who struggles to stay away from the tables while living paycheck to paycheck is hired by one of the very casinos that banned her to catch card counters.

Opening / Ending = Kenya, a circumspect, recovering gambler who disapproves of her mother’s lifestyle, bets on her and her mother’s lives, inadvertently winning a 7-figure job with one of the very casinos that banned her.

2. Tell us which of those decisions you could improve to make your script more marketable.

Concept, Opening/Ending.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Speciality: Dark Comedy

What I learned: Dark comedy is more my jam than thrillers. It was really hard for me to come to this conclusion and pick a genre. But I am so glad I did, because I will enjoy what I do and save everyone time in the long run by working on something that I am passionate about. My humor has always leaned dark. I love shows like the Sopranos and Dexter and movies like Grosse Point Blank and Pulp Fiction. Life throws us lots of curves, and I tend to navigate them by seeing the humor in even the darkest of situations. I’ve always been the one to make light of something to diffuse the dramatic tension in the room. So, why not pick what comes easy/natural to me? Took me a few months to get out of my way to come to this decision, but the important thing is I made it.

1. Tell us your speciality: Dark Comedy

2. Do a quick Google search for “top (genre) movies.” Select two of the top movies in your genre to watch.

I selected Grosse Point Blank (one of my favorites) and Pulp Fiction (ditto).

3. As you watch each movie, take notes on how that movie fulfills the key parts of your genre.

4. For each movie, tell us the following:

Genre: Dark
Comedy
Title: Grosse
Point Blank
How it
delivered on the genre conventions:

Well-written
characters that work only in this movie (Martin, Grosser, Marcela, Dr.
Oatman, etc.)
Great dialog/one-liners,
start to finish. Ex:

No meetings!
Don’t quit
your day job.
No, don’t
give it a shot. Don’t shoot anything.
Besides, I
know where you live.

Humor during serious/grave
situations

Marriage
proposal during a shootout
Assassin
trying to get Marty to join an assasin’s union while shooting him

Makes fun of
serious topics

Drug use
Therapy
Mental health
Assasination
High school
reunions
Unions

Self-deprecating
humor
Uses humor to diffuse
dramatic tension

Outline of the
movie, highlighting the parts that fulfill the genre:

Botched hit/double-booked
Join a union
Assassin in
therapy

Banter
between therapist and patient

High school
reunion in same place where he has a hit

Banter
between boss and subordinate

Assassin asks
secretary to feed his cat
No one
believes Marty when he says what he does for a living
Debbie puts
Marty on the spot when he visits the radio station
Marty visits
home to discover it has been converted to a minimart
Marty can’t
catch a break: He has unresovled issues with his high school girlfriend,
his mom is bonkers, his childhood home is a minimart, he fires his absent
therapist,

Added after watching the movie:

Opening Scene

· Assassin talking about high school reunion while talking to Marcela (secretary) like it’s no big deal he’s about to kill someone

· Assassin joking that he will kill his secretary if she pushes the issue on the hs reunion

· Opening music/not part of screenplay but well chosen for dramatic irony

· Voice over of hs reunion invitation while he is focused on shooting his target.

· Hold on a sec, he says. Then she keeps reading the invitation.

S2

· Martin Blank meeting with Grosser.

· Grosser wants to create a union.

· Banter between them in scene.

· Dramatic irony: One-liners.

o We could be killing important people.

o “You’ve got a great crew.” (Sarcasm)

· Greenpeace remark/scruples won’t target Greenpeace.

S3

· One-liners: Sgt. Pepper

· HS reunion: Marcela tries again to get him to go and says he can do a job and go to the reunion in the same weekend

· Assassin has a cat

S4

· Therapy with Dr. Oatman

· One-liners

· Sarcasm

· “I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How have you been?”

· Dr. Oatman doesn’t want to be his therapist. But Martin doesn’t care and keeps showing up for therapy

· Banter:

· “And I know where you live.”

· Ironic titles of his books. Ex: Anhilation of Death

· “You might consider the possibility of your misery is the angst over killing lots of people.”

· “Don’t kill anybody for a few days. See what it feels like.”

· “I’ll give it a shot.”

S5

· Grocer tipping off FBI

· Martin’s blasse way of brushing off FBI

· Uncomfortable moment with former teacher

· Learns his childhood home is now a minimart

· Interrogates guy at the Ultimart

· Clerk is rude to Martin/irony; doesn’t realize who he’s talking to

· Martin calls therapist to tell him about the minimart (assassin in therapy; crumbles over the smallest things; but not over big things like killing people)

· FBI agents clumsy/awkward

· Asks for his mom/tough guy needs his mom when stressed

S6

Mom in loony bin

Who knows what she did with all the money he sent her

She could have kept the house had she been sane

Rhyming scene: No one believes him when he says what he does for a living.

Responses:

· Do you have to do post-graduate work for that?

· You get dental with that?

· Can I get in on that?

· Good for you. It’s a growth industry.

S5

· Meets up with Debbie

· Knows he’s being followed by feds

· Banter with Debbie

· Love-sick Assassin

· Uncomfortable moment in radio booth

· Sarcasm

· Makes him get on the air/puts on the spot

· Caller says to make him wear that prom dress

S6

Meets up with friend from HS

· Continuous banter

· “Thank you for profiting on my childhood” response to his friend who brokered the deal on his house so it could become an Ultimart

· Security guard at property/awkward/contrast between assassin and security guard

· Martin pretending to be interested in security guard’s line of work

· Banter between them

· Martin ruining the real estate deal by saying he wants a house like this and a wife like you and you’ll be safe here and points to the security guard

· Security guard clumsy departure, screeching tires

· Irritated relator arguing with security guard/ridiculous

S7

· Looks at Debbie with a scope

· Dragging heels on “assignment”

· Marcela chewing someone out/yelling and then puts on hold and then takes other call and gives a recipe to someone while the vendor is on hold

· Shootout at mini mart while clerk plays video game oblivious with headphones

· Grabs oblivious clerk before bomb goes off

S8

· Calls Debbie while Minimart is on fire nonchalant about it.

· Debbie hangs up on him while he is still talking after they agreed to meet for drinks.

· Banter at the Hippo Club

o “I thought you’d been murdered, brainwashed…” Martin says no. “Well, I’d hoped that at least.”

o “I was just going to be mean about it on the radio.” When asked if he could take her to the reunion.

o “Showing up would be a good first step.”

· Chitchats with feds in bathroom.

· Calls them out. Gives them his itinerary. “I’ll see you there?”

· Feds teasing Grocer about Martin coming back just to scare him.

· More banter with Debbie:

o “You don’t know my cat. It’s very demanding.”

o “It? You don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl?”

o “I respect its privacy.

S9

· “Oh, that’s where I know him. He’s an asshole.” Sarcastic remark when Marcela gives him the lowdown on the “ghoul.”

· Dramatic irony: Assassin too distracted by personal life (former girlfriend, HS reunion) to focus on his hit

· Fish out of water: Assassin in suburbia/doing ordinary things. Assassin holding baby at reunion.

· Misinterpretation: No one believes Martin when he says what he does for a living.

· Dramatic irony: Woven throughout

· Banter: Sarcasm throughout

· “What if your dad comes in?” when giving Debbie an airplane ride

· Response: “You can give him one too.”

· “Lock the door behind you because there are a lot of undesirables around.”

· Subtext/dramatic irony: He’s one of the undesirables and she doesn’t know it.

S10

· Scene in diner with Grosser

· Martin cocks gun when he sees Grocer

· Grocer has gun in bag

· Bubbly waitress waiting on two angry assassins

· “I don’t want to get into a semantic arugument. I just want the protein alright?”

· Response to waitress saying an egg white omelet with nothing else isn’t technically an omelet.

· “I don’t want to join your gd union.”

· “Why don’t you be a cop or something and have coffee in the morning with friends?” when Grocer tries to get him to join the union.

· Sarcasm: “Nice talk, Sugar Mouth.”

S11

· Practicing what he’ll tell others what he does for a living.

· “I sell couch insurance.” “I run a men’s group that specializes in ritual kilings.”

· Martin calls therapist. “I haven’t killed anyone.”

· Therapist tells him to say, “This is me breathing,” Uses those words later to fire him and says “This is me firing you.” Later Martin fires his therapist by voicemail as his therapist is in session.

S12

Picking up Debbie

· More banter: “I’ll go put these in some rubbing alcohol.” Debbie to Martin when he gives Debbie flowers.

Reunion

· “Just love your show” to Debbie. Sarcastic. Seems to hate show.

· Fish out of water: Martin at reunion.

· To Martin: “Divorce, some property, personal injury” when responding to “what he’s been up to.”

· To lawyer/former classmate: “Those all seem kinda related.”

· “A festival of pain” to describe reunion

· Assassin holding tiny baby at reunion

· Innocence vs savagery

· “Do you have wife in Arkansas?” Debbie asks Martin.

· “No.”

· Then asks, “Do you want to dance?”

· Bob’s poem. Sucks. Reads two lines. Martin says its great and asks him to skip to the end, “for awhile.”

S13

· After friend helps Martin dispose of body, he’s freaked out.

· Orders stiff drink. Martin orders club soda like it’s no big deal, even though he looks a wreck.

· “Take care of yourself, Ken. Thank you for the pen.” To lawyer who gifted him the pen after using it to kill the ghoul.

· Martin fires his therapist while he’s in session. He says on the answering machine for all to hear that he hasn’t been very helpful and to take a deep breath and realize that this is me firing you.” Tables turned: Calm therapist violently throws answering machine against wall. Martin, chill in the bed as he fires Dr. Oatman.

· Dramatic irony

· Has to kill his gf’s dad.

· But saves him.

· Explains to Debbie that in the Army his psych profile revealed a certain “moral flexibility.”

· When Debbie calls him a psychopath, Martin says, “No, no. A psychopath kills for no reason. I kill for money.”

· Great lines throughout.

Closing the Office

· Marcela hitting computer with a mallet, pouring accelerant on everything

· Gives Marcela a brick of money.

· When he says he’ll look her up when he’s done, she says why, misinterpreting his motives.

· “No, it’s not like that.” And then tells her it’s not like that.

Last scene

· Martin realizes he was assigned to kill Debbie’s father.

· “I’m not going to kill you. I’m in love with your daughter and have a newfound respect for life.”

· In the van following him Grocer says, “He’s either in love with that guy’s daughter or has a newfound respect for life.”

· When Martin tells Debbie’s father there is a contract out for his life, “You’re going to kill me over a leaky sunroom?”

· Martin says, “It’s not personal. Why does everyone think it’s personal?”

· Rambling on about his newfound respect for life while assassins are about to storm the house. Keeps explaining to them while shooting people who are trying to kill Debbie’s father.

· After Debbie and her dad see him shoot, then hit someone over the head with a cast iron skillet, he continues to tell Debbie how much he loves her and how they can make the relationship work

· Bares his soul while killing others to protect them, explaining why he doesn’t want to kill anymore while killing. Dramatic irony.

· “This union, are there going to be meetings?”

· “Of course…”

· “No meetings.” Then shoots Grocer.

· Then goes upstairs and proposes to Debbie while she is cowering for her life in the bathtub with her dad.

· Her Dad says, “You’ve got my blessing.”

Outline

Act 1

Opening scene: Hit gone wrong

Marcela encourages Martin to go to HS reunion

Grocer offers Martin to join an assassin’s union

Martin turns both down

Martin forced to go to HS reunion b/c he has a hit in the same place that has to be done the same weekend as the reunion

Act 2

Martin confronts his old life

Meets friends

Learns his house is a minimart

Meets Debbie for drinks

Midpoint

Invites Debbie to HS reunion

HS reunion all kinds of awkward

Martin and Debbie have sex

Act 3

Martin kills ghoul at reunion

Debbie learns what he really does for a living and tells him to leave her alone

Martin fires therapist and closes down the office

Act 4

Martin rescues Debbie’s dad/saves his life

Decides he doesn’t want to be an assassin anymore

Proposes to Debbie

Leaves town with Debbie to start his new life with his soulmate 

Genre: Dark
Comedy
Title: Pulp
Fiction
How it
delivered on the genre conventions:

Dramatic irony
Humor during
absurd situations

Death by
Poptart
Assassins
bickering over money during a robbery
Talking about
foot massage before killing someone
Stop to
appreciate the taste of coffee while rushing to clean up a murder scene
Asking The
Wolf to apologize before cleaning the car
Picking the
weapon to use to take out the guys in the torture chamber
Fight in
diner over giving money to criminals
Prized
possession that was carried home in someone’s ass
Risking your
life over a watch
Calling on
cell phone to get help with an overdose
Endangering
yourself over pride
Citing Bible
verse before killing someone

Outline of the
movie, highlighting the parts that fulfill the genre:

Pulp Fiction Notes (after watching movie)

Narrative structure (departs from 4-Act structure and instead mirrors a novel to riff off the name of the movie)

Prologue: Stickup at the Diner

Part 1: Prelude to Vincent and Mia

Chapter 1: The Car Ride

Chapter 2: The Massacre

Chapter 3: Throwing the Fight

Chapter 4: Getting Drugs

Part 2: The Drama of Vincent and Mia’s Night Out

Chapter 5: The House

Chapter 6: The Diner

Chapter 7: The Overdose

Chapter 8: The Promise

Part 3: Prelude to the Gold Watch

Chapter 9: Backstory on the Watch

Chapter 10: The Fight

Part 4: The Drama of the Gold Watch

Chapter 11: Quid Pro Quo in Bed

Chapter 12: Getting the Watch

Chapter 13: The Redneck Pawnshop

Chapter 14: The Agreement

Part 5: Prelude to the Bonnie Situation

Chapter 15: The Mircale

Chapter 16: The Accidental Shooting of Marcus

Part 6: The Bonnie Situation

Chapter 17: Getting Cleaned Up

Chapter 18: Mr. Wolf

Epilogue: The Completion of the Stickup at Diner

Conventions of Dark Comedy:

Opening scene in diner

· Blasse talk about the stickup, theft

· Talk about how much easier it is to rob a bank vs a diner

· Two thieves talking about robbery

· No more liquor stores. Too risky. Carry guns behind the counter. A frontier frolic.

· Kiss each other and call them lovey names before sticking up the diner.

· Talk themselves into robbing the diner. Easy hit. No one will be the hero.

· Pros and cons convo about robbing the diner while in the diner.

Driving to Brett’s

· Convo about hash in Amsterdam

· Jules is all into it until he learned that put mayonnaise on fries

· Grumbling about how they should have shotguns for this kind of deal

· Talk about the job real quick then go into detail about why it’s inappropriate to give someone else’s girl a foot massage

· Vincent teases Jules who thinks Marcelus overreacted when he threw a guy over the balcony for giving his wife a foot massage. After he proved his point he added, “You know, I’m kinda tired. I could use a foot massage myself.”

· Got to job early. So they pull back and keep up the conversation about foot massage, like what they’re about to do is nothing.

· Sarcasm about being sorry for interrupting their breakfast. Then makes fun of his choice of burgers for breakfast.

· Jules the guy on the couch “Flock of Seagulls” making fun of his haircut.

· Lock combo on briefcase: 666.

· Smart, carefully crafted dialog: When Brett asks Jules his name, Jules says, “My name’s Pit, and you ain’t gettin’ out of it.”

· Humor diffuses dramatic tension throughout

· Every scene jam-packed with max interest techniques and dark humor

· If you look past the violence, you can appreciate the dialog and actions of the characters, which are incongruent with the situation

· Fish out of water convention implemented (Vincent with Mia, Vincent and Jules in Jimmy’s clothes)

· Brett resumes talking and Jules shoots the guy on the couch and looks back at Brett. “Oh I’m sorry did I break your concentration? Please continue.”

· Jules quotes the Bible before killing Brett and others.

Fixing the fight

· Marcelus pays Butch to throw the fight.

· Fish out of water: Vincent and Jules walk into the bar in ridiculous clothes. Gangsters in flip flops and shorts.

Drug dealer’s house

· Vincent makes a faux pas and refers to drug dealer’s wife as the one with all the shit on her face.

Pick up Mia Wallace

Vincent looks humorous: high and polite on the intercom. Hello….then…ok.

Diner

· Vincent incredulous about a $5 shake

· Comical diner; Ed Sullivan host; Elvis impersonator; Marilyn Monroe waitress, etc.

· Fish out of water: Gangster in a kitsche diner.

· “I think it’s like a wax museum with a pulse.” Vincent’s response to Mia who asks what do you think?

· Vincent asks to take a sip so he knows what a “$5 shake tastes like.” “I don’t know if it’s worth $5, but it’s pretty fucking good.”

· Talking about milkshake and nonsense to diffuse the sexual tension.

· Vincent is a fish out of water: thinks the whole place is weird. Also the entire “date” is awkward for Vincent, so he’s that fish out of water the entire evening.

· “When you little scamps get together, you’re worse than a sewing circle.” In response to Vincent’s comment about the foot massage rumor.

The OD

· Vincent giving himself a pep talk about how he is going to behave with Mia now that they are home. He’s sexually aroused and wants to get out of there, because he doesn’t want to Marcelus to kill him.

· Vincent just wants to have an uneventful evening with Mia. And she almost dies on him.

· Rushing Mia to Drug Dealer’s house

· Calls on cell phone to let him know he’s on the way

· Vincent terrified b/c he knows Marcelus will kill him if Mia dies on his watch

· Drug dealer (Lance) eating sugar cereal in bed when Vincent calls.

· “Are you talking to me on a cellular phone? I don’t know you. Who is this? Prank caller. Prank caller.”

· Vincent crashes into drug dealer’s house by rushing up the lawn with his car.

· Vincent and Lance fighting about the adrenaline shot, wasting precious time bickering over why he doesn’t know how to give an adrenaline shot if someone ODs.

· Then they fight over who’s giving Mia the shot, again wasting precious time.

· After Lance explains what to do, Vince asks, “And then what happens?”

· Lance: “I’m curious about that myself.” (What a line!)

· When Vincent drops Mia off and is about to leave after reviving her from the OD, he says, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go home and have a heart attack.”

Butch and the Watch

· Captain gives young Butch his father’s watch that he carried home in his ass for two years after the first guy died of dyssentary for carrying it in his ass for five years. Tells Butch the history of the watch and its signficance. Sets up for tense scene later in story.

· Hands it over casually like it’s normal to carry a watch in your ass and give to someone.

The Fight

· Butch doesn’t throw the fight

· He doesn’t just win the fight.He inadvertently kills the opponent.

· On the lam.

· Scene with Marcelus asking what he wants to do about Butch

· He wants them to scour the Earth for me.

· If he goes to IndoChina, I want a fucker in a bowl of rice sitting ready to pop a cap in that motherfucker’s ass.”

On the Lam

· Quid pro quo talk in bed with Butch and his gf

· Goes home to get his watch. Something as trivial as a watch, he risks his life for.

· Before he goes home he chastises his gf and says, “That was my father’s watch. Do you know what he went through to get me that watch? I don’t have time to get into it, but he went through a lot.” Alluding to the ass carrying stories.

· After apologizing to gf for scaring her then as soon as he gets in his car he starts ranting about it to himself.

· Also driving a shit car (old Honda). He looks ridiculous in the tiny white car. This guy with a gigantic ego in a tiny car. Looks funny.

· Death by poptart: When poptart pops up he realizes someone is at the apartment and waits for him to come out of the bathroom. It is Vincent who was sent there to kill him. Instead he kills Vincent. Gangster in bathroom. Had he not stopped for a poptart Vincent would be alive. Irony. He forgot his poptart after all that.

The Redneck Pawn Shop

· Dramatic irony. Now that he has his watch, Butch is happy. Almost scot-free, then literally runs into the one person he wants to avoid by hitting him with his car.

· Owner of pawnshop says “Nobody kills me in my place of business except me or Zed.”

· Plays eenie meenie miny moe to decide which one to soddomize first. Then when you think he’s done he adds the “My mama told me to pick the very best one and you are it.”

· Butch escapes: Gimp screams and Butch clocks him. Great reversal/humorous: Because you think he’s going to get caught and then he easily clocks the one guy who was supposed to guard him.

· Even though his life is at stake, he can’t leave Marcelus there b/c of the bro code.

· So he decides to go back and save him. Humorous to see him pick out the weapon he wants to use on them. Bat, no. Chainsaw, no. Japanese steel sword.

· After rescuing Marcelus: “Are you OK?”

· “No, man. I’m pretty fucking far from OK.”

· Marcelus tells the hillbilly: “I’m gonna get medieval on your ass.”

· To add insult to injury, Butch steals Zed’s ride, a chopper.

· “What happened to my Honda?”

· “I’m sorry, baby, I had to crash that Honda?”

· They need to split and Butch makes her cry and then he stops to ask her what she had for breakfast in the middle of being in a rush to catch the train.

The Bonnie Situation

· Vigilante in bathroom tries to stop Jules and Vincent from killing anyone else. He misfires three times and is then out of bullets. Vince and Jules look at the damage to the apartment and them fill him with bullets.

· Jules says the fact that the guy in the bathroom didn’t kill them was divine intervention. So they stop to assess what just happened when they should be getting the hell out of dodge.

· Vincent tries to get Jules to go and Jules gets upset. “This fuckin’ shit was a miracle.” Vincent doesn’t buy it. Vincent asks Jules, “Do you want to finish this theological discussion in the car or in jail with the cops?” Doesn’t faze Jules who makes Vincent admit it was a miracle before they can go.

· Vincent and Jules bicker like an old married couple.

o Vincent yakking in car about TV and Jules wants to keep talking about divine intervention. The incident changed him and he no longer wants to be a gangster, so now they fight about that.

· Then Vincent accidentally shoots Marvin and says, “Aw, man. I shot Marvin in the face.” Like he forgot to pick up the milk or something.

· Vincent and Jules then fight about whose fault it is. Vincent says Jules hit a bump. They fight about that.

· Vincent gets blood all over Jimmy’s towel and he and Jules bicker and Jules says, “I used the soap just like you did, but when I finished it didn’t look like no gd maxi pad.”

· Jules and Vincent in Jimmy’s frilly kitchen. Fish out of water. Look ridiculous with blood and brain all over them. Incongrous with setting.

· Jimmy’s question about the sign outside his house.

· Marcelus all chill when Jules tells him about the Bonnie situation.

Mr. Wolf

· “It’s 30 minutes away. I’ll be there in 10.”

· Then screen gives exact time, down to the minute when Mr. Wolf arrives.

· As Wolf is inspecting the car, he asks for some coffee. Even the Wolf appreciates the coffee in the situation.

· Gives them orders and Vincent is touchy, wants the Wolf to say please.

· “So pretty please with sugar on top, clean the fucking car.”

· Vincent to Jules, “Don’t be looking at me like that. I can feel your look.”

· Again, like an old bickering married couple.

· Then Jules and Vincent bicker when cleaning the car, wasting more time when they should be rushing.

· Jules: “I will never forgive your ass for this shit.”

· Vincent retorts, “I have a threshold. I have a threshold for the abuse I can take. And right now I’m at a mf’ing red…I’m ready to blow.”

· Jules: “Oh, your ready to blow? Well, I’m a mushroom laying cloud, mother fucker. Every time I touch brain I’m TNT. In fact, wtf am I doing in the back? You should be doing detail.”

· Mr. Wolf asks Jimmy if he’s an oak man while calmly pulling out a wad of bills to redecorate Jimmy’s bedroom in exchange for taking his linens.

· Mr. Hoses guys off and says, “I’m sure you two have been in county before.” And hoses them down.

· “Don’t be afraid of the soap.”

· Mr. Wolf and Jimmy laugh at them.

· What do they look like Jimmy?

· Dorks. They look like a couple dorks.

· “They you’re fucking clothes, man” Jules.

The Diner

· Banter about not eating pigs (He’d have to be ten times more charming than that Arnold on Green Acres).

· Robbers with pet names.

· Semantical debate between two gansters about what constitutes a miracle. They’re like an old bickering couple. Really well written, start to finish.

· Vincent in bathroom, oblivious to the robbery taking place, reading, muzak playing. A great contrast between the two situations.

· Jules refers to Pumpkin as “Ringo,” making funny of his English accent.

· And then later, “Normally your asses would be dead like Kentucy Fried Chicken, but you caught me in a transitional period and I want to help you.”

· A gangster with the self-awareness to realize he witnessed a miracle and is in a transition period while keeping his cool during a heated a Mexican standoff is equally comical as it is admirable.

· The Bad Motherfucker wallet. The paradox: He’s giving up being a ganster in profession, but still a gangster at heart by retaining the wallet.

· When Vincent tells Jules he’ll shoot him on principle if he gives “Ringo” the $1500 in his wallet.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Credibility Is Going Up!

What I learned: I have some credibility, and I can take steps to increase it. 🙂

CREDIBILITY CHECKLIST

1. Your Writing Sample

‘Recommend’
from Coverage: Not yet
Delivers on the
genre in a strong way: Yes
Delivers on the
business decisions: Yes

2. Screenwriting Accomplishments

Contest wins:
Not yet
Smaller deals
(options, sales, writing assignments): Not yet
Larger deals:
Not yet
Movies produced:
Not yet

3. The Google factor

Google your name. How many items on the first page show you as a professional screenwriter?: 1 page.

Buzz posts, interviews, news reports, etc..

4. Your Network

How many
producers are in your network?: 504
How many
Connections do you have who are connected to producers?: At least that many;
probably more

5. Education specific to screenwriting

Degree in film
or screenwriting
Master
Screenwriter Certificate program at ScreenwritingU: MSC, ProSeries,
Manager Mastery, BingeWorthy, etc.

6. Borrowed Credibility

Represented by
an agent or manager: Not yet
Working with a
producer: Not yet
Connected to a
star: Not yet
Connected to a
funding source: No

7. IMDB CREDITS

Go to
[url=”http://imdb.com/”]http://IMDB.com[/url] and search your name. What
credits show up there for you? Just my profile

8. Other forms of credibility that is related to screenwriting:

Novels
published: I’m a ghostwriter, so zilch.
Producer or
director experience: N/A
Experience
working with agencies, production companies, film festivals, etc..: I was
in a student film at SF Community College.

2. Have a screenwriting profile on LinkedIn with over 800 industry connections.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Projects and Insights

A. Afternoons with Morty: Octogenarian fakes dementia to get away from nagging wife. Genre: Dark Comedy. Budget: $2M-$5M.

B. Waking Up in Vegas: Professional card counter forced out of retirement to pay off her mother’s debts. Dark Comedy. Budget: $5M-$10M.

C. There are many ways to build credibility, and I’m looking forward to working on mine. I need to pick a lane/specialty. I love Dark Comedies and Psychological Thrillers. And am wavering between the two…

[Diana Ceres]

1. Diana Ceres

2. Three features, two shorts, one TV pilot

3. Paid writing assignments

4. Animal whisperer

[Diana Ceres]

1. Diana Ceres

2. I agree to the terms of the release form for this class.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s High-Speed Writing

What I learned: When I poured my outline into Final Draft, it was super fun fleshing out the teaser. It’s fifteen pages long (maybe that’s OK, since I’m writing an hour-and-change drama). Regardless, I feel like all the work we did in the previous modules positioned me well to do the writing. I feel inspired having the outline in Final Draft, because it feels more tangible to me, like a real script in the making. I went deeper into the story as I wrote the teaser and learned things about the characters and story as I went. It’s way better than I could ever have imagined. And this is just the first round! I’m trying to get out of my way when writing. It’s more fun when I can set my inner editor aside. Some days I do it better than others. But, hey, I am posting this and am super proud of me for moving forward!

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Outline with Intrigue

What I learned: The teaser is way better than the rest of the pilot. I need to punch up the pilot big time. I also found some plot holes that need filling. I’m leaving them for now. Trying to let that perfectionism go. Can always do more to the outline later.

Teaser

INT. PRIESTESS CHAMBERS INSIDE THE COMPOUND OF SINOLOA CARTEL LORD – NIGHT: Intriguing world, mystery, secret, strange behavior, hidden agenda, hidden layer

A young Dolores is cleaning the shrine of the cartel’s santeria priestess, Maya, as the Cartel’s Santeria priestess is preparing a spell to keep rival cartels away. Dolores accidentally spills ceremonial wine on the cover of the sacred Book of Spirits. Maya chastises Dolores and hands her the sacred tome, commanding her to clean it immediately. Sidebar: If the book is stolen, a person is cursed. Curse TBD. But since Maya handed the book to Dolores, she avoids the curse, as she is not stealing it.

Intriguing World: Santeria; drug cartel
Mystery: What is so special about this book?
Secret: The book is secret and sacred; priestess
casting spell to keep rival cartels away
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: spell to keep rivals away
Hidden Layer: keep cartel lord happy and stay alive
Strange Behavior: superstitious; book must be pristine;
why must it be cleaned immediately?
Imminent Threat:
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will Dolores clean the book to the
satisfaction of the priestess? Will the spell work?
Mystery: What is so special about this book? Why did
the priestess get so upset when Dolores soiled it? And what is this curse?
Is it reversible?
Empathy/Distress: Priestess upset (her life depends on keeping
the drug lord happy)
Payoff: She ends up with the sacred tome and avoids the
curse
Irony: Dolores obtains a powerful, sacred tome and
avoids a curse by accident
Setup: Dolores spills wine

Concept: Sacred book changes hands

INT. DRUG LAB OF SINOLOA CARTEL LORD – SAME: Intriguing world, deception, conspiracy, secret identity, hidden agenda, hidden layer, strange behavior, imminent threat, suspicion

Dolores’ husband, Hector, is packaging bricks of heroin in the lab. The cartel accountant is looking over the books. He calls over one of the cartel captains and points out an inventory error in Hector’s log. The captain accuses Hector of stealing heroin, when it was actually the captain who is doing the skimming and selling it to a rival cartel. Cartel captain questions Hector and accuses him of theft. Hector denies it and the captain roughs Hector up. Hector begs him to stop. The captain beats Hector to a pulp and leaves the lab, sending a powerful message to the other workers as Hector groans in pain.

Intriguing World: Drugs, cartel
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception: Hector’s boss is a traitor and blames the
skimming on Hector
Conspiracy: Hector’s boss is planning to take down the
Sinoloa Cartel by helping a rival cartel
Secret Identity: Hector’s boss is a mole
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: Hector’s boss frames Hector
Hidden Layer: So he can keep skimming until Hector gets
caught; then he’ll move to someone else
Strange Behavior: Hector’s boss blames him for something
Hector did not do
Imminent Threat: Hector’s about to get his ass kicked
Suspicion: Account suspects theft/skimming of drugs

Open Loop: Will Hector be killed?
Mystery: Who is doing the skimming?
Empathy/Distress: Hector is malaccused and beaten.
Payoff: Boss blames Hector for his theft
Irony: The wrong person was accused
Setup: Hector’s boss steals from the cartel

Concept: What happens to traitors

INT. PRIESTESS CHAMBERS – SAME: Intriguing world, mystery, secret, strange behavior, imminent threat

When Dolores returns with the cleaned book, Maya is nowhere to be found. Dolores feels a gentle pulsation from the book. Little does she know the book has now bonded with her and believes her to be the new priestess and owner of the book. Dolores rubs the book’s leather cover and admires the glyphs on the cover. Soon purple smoke emits from the book and the cover glyphs change. Dolores looks up when she hears bottles rattling and observes one of the potion bottles releasing gray smoke. Frightened, she tries to put the book on the altar, but it refuses to be set down, clinging to her like a powerful magnet. The rattling of the bottles on the altar and shelves grow louder. Dolores tries to pry the book from her hands. When she realizes the book won’t leave her hands, she rushes upstairs, instead of leaving the book on the altar as instructed.

Intriguing World: Santeria/magic
Mystery: Why does the book change owners?
Secret: Dolores doesn’t realize she is in charge of the
book now.
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior: All the smoke and rattling bottles
and book clinging to Dolores
Imminent Threat: Dolores is afraid of what might happen
next and races out of the chambers
Suspicion:

Open Loop: What will happen when the priestess
discovers her book is not on the altar?
Mystery: The magic of the sacred tome
Empathy/Distress: Dolores freaks out when the book
clings to her and all the smoke, etc. happen
Payoff: Maya inherits the book’s power
Irony: Priestess inadvertently handed over the power of
the book to Dolores to save her life and is now a target because she is
useless to the cartel, unless she can get it back
Setup: Priestess gives Maya the book to clean

Concept: Book of Secrets has a new owner.

INT. MEETING CHAMBER IN COMPOUND OF SINOLOA CARTEL – NIGHT: Intriguing world, deception, conspiracy, hidden agenda, hidden layer, wound, imminent threat, suspicion

The head of the cartel and his captains are seated around an ornate table. There is some conversation about shipments, the tunnel Maya is going to protect, who’s shipping what when, etc. When the drug lord inquires of any problems, one of the captains mentions Hector’s “theft.” The head of the cartel smiles calmly. Before he makes a decision, he asks each of the captains what he should do, they all say some variation of the same thing: he’s a traitor; kill him. When he gets to Hector’s boss, his boss says the theft was not that big, perhaps he should not have brought it up. He says he will deal with Hector himself. It is then when the head of the cartel knows that it is Hector’s boss who has been stealing and not Hector. The head of the cartel nods at his second in command who shoots Hector’s boss in the head, making an example of him in front of the other captains, so they remember what happens to traitors.

Intriguing World: Drug cartel
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception: Hector’s boss stole from the cartel
Conspiracy: He is a mole for a rival cartel
Secret Identity:
Wound: Greed
Hidden Agenda: To appear loyal
Hidden Layer: To gain power
Strange Behavior: Drug lord smiles when he hears of a
mole
Imminent Threat: Hector’s boss put himself in danger by
playing down the theft
Suspicion: Drug lord suspects one of his captains of
theft

Open Loop: Will Hector survive?
Mystery: Who is the real thief?
Empathy/Distress: Everyone in the room is on edge.
Payoff: Thief is killed.
Irony: Hector’s boss inadvertently admits to theft
Setup: Captain mentions theft.

Concept: Don’t fuck with the cartel lord

INT. BEDROOM OF DOLORES AND HECTOR – NIGHT: Intriguing world, mystery, secret, deception, conspiracy, secret identity, hidden agenda, hidden behavior, strange behavior, imminent threat

Hector, covered in blood and bruises limps into the bedroom. Dolores, who has been poring over the book, relishing each page, looks up and asks, matter of factly, what happened. Hector says his boss accused him of stealing. When Dolores asks if he did it, he says of course not. When Hector inquires what Dolores is reading, she just shrugs and says it’s some old book she found while cleaning. Hector comes closer and realizes what she holds. Mortified, he warns her of the curse, and Dolores says she cannot be cursed because the book was handed to her, not stolen.

Dolores, fearing they will now come after Hector and, more importantly, discover she now posesses the book, tells Hector they must leave at once. Hector resists, but Dolores won’t stand down. They sneak down to the laundry room in the basement and put on the guards’ soiled clothes and boots. The uniform is too big for Dolores, so she stuffs the pants into her boots and Hector helps her roll up the sleeves on her shirt.

Intriguing World: Drug cartel
Mystery: The curse of the book
Secret: Dolores craves power
Deception: Dolores did not follow the priestess’
instructions
Conspiracy: She plans to keep the book and leave with
Hector
Secret Identity: Dolores and Hector dress like guards
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: To leave the compound
Hidden Layer: To be free
Strange Behavior: Risking their lives
Imminent Threat: Can always be caught and killed on the
spot
Suspicion:

Open Loop: What will happen when Hector and Dolores try
to escape?
Mystery: What is the curse of the Book of Secrets
Empathy/Distress: Risking their lives
Payoff: Hector goes along with her plan and suggests
they disguise themselves
Irony: Dolores became a priestess by accident
Setup: Dolores plans to escape

Concept: Hector and Dolores plan their escape

EXT. COMPOUND OF SINOLOA CARTEL LORD – NIGHT: Intriguing world, mystery, secret, deception, secret identity, suspicion, hidden agenda, hidden layer, imminent threat, suspicion

Several armed guards stand watch. Dolores and Hector approach the guards. Hector says they’ve been told to patrol the exterior perimeter of the compound. The guards nod, save for one who narrows his eyes, watching them as they continue walking.

Once they pass the guards and head toward the gate, the priestess chases after them and yells. Dolores and Hector run. As they are running, one of the new glyphs on the leather cover emits a thick, purple smoke, causing Dolores to escape in a puff of smoke, preventing anyone from seeing her. Instead of staying to help Hector, Dolores leaves Hector to be gunned down by the guards. Running down a dirt road, we see a shimmer that soon disappers into the night.

[Aside: Hector could haunt Dolores during the series and Dolores, who is carrying the drug lord’s baby, uses Hector as leverage against this baby, Lupe, who has been led to believe Hector is her biological father, held in a Sinoloan prison, and once they raise $20M, he will be released, unharmed. Lupe, is even more ruthless than Dolores, as she has cartel blood running through her icy veins.]

Intriguing World: Drug cartel; santeria
Mystery: What’s with all the smoke? What are the glyphs
on the book’s cover? Will the priestess survive now that she is no longer
useful?
Secret: Dolores and Hector leave without telling
anyone.
Deception: Dolores and Hector pretend to be guards.
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity: Maid and Drug Mule pose as Guards
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: To escape
Hidden Layer: To be free
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Death
Suspicion: One of the guards is skeptical of their
order

Open Loop: Will the priestess come after Dolores? Will
Dolores be able to escape the wrath of the cartel? [Scene with her and
drug lord later; at first he is furious, because she ran from him, but
then he is happy to have a baby and, fearing for her life, she shows her
utility and offers to take down the other cartel with her spells, etc.]
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:

Concept: What happens when you try to escape a cartel’s compound

Act 1

INT. JAKE’S HOME – DAY: Secret, Deception, Secret Identity, Wound, Hidden Agenda, Hidden Layer, Strange Behavior, Imminent Threat

The news is on and Jake, a renowned pediatric surgeon, is having breakfast with the family. A Category 3 hurricane is predicted. Mikey is looking at gay porn on his tablet with the volume off and Carlos is playing (and winning) several simultaneous games of chess on his phone. Both are focused on their screens and ignoring the entire conversation. Lupe is concerned, and Jake dismisses the threat of a hurricane and says he has to go to the medical conference, since he is the keynote speaker. Lupe warns him of the storm, and Jake says the only storm there is her. Dolores quietly reads the paper. As Jake gets up from the table, tossing his napkin on his plate, Lupe follows him upstairs, shouting expletives in Spanish.

· Intriguing World:

Mystery:
Secret: Mikey is gay.
Deception: Jake defies Lupe.
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity: Lupe is not who she pretends to be.
Wound: Lupe is codependent.
Hidden Agenda: Lupe wants Jake to leave but is
pretending to care.
Hidden Layer: She plans to rob him when he leaves.
Strange Behavior: Dolores is never quiet.
Imminent Threat: Tropical storm.
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Threat of storm.
Mystery: Why do they hate each other so much?
Empathy/Distress: Lupe is worried about or husband.
Payoff: Lupe’s whining just makes Jake want to leave
even more.
Irony: Lupe wants Jake to go to the conference.
Setup: Jake is going to the conference.

Concept: Husband defies wife.

INT. JAKE AND LUPE’S BEDROOM – SAME: Wound, Hidden Agenda, Hidden Layer, Imminent Threat

Jake and Lupe fight over the conference he is going to. Lupe pleads Jake to stay as he packs. She knows if she doesn’t create a fuss, he will stay, so she is going full boar, giving the best performance of her life. Jake ignores Lupe and zips his suitcase shut. Distracted by all of Lupe’s belittling remarks and threats of divorce, Jake walks out while she is still screaming, leaving his suitcase and briefcase on the bed.

Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Lupe fears abandonment.
Hidden Agenda: Yet she wants him to leave.
Hidden Layer: She is planning to leave him.
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Storm. Lupe is going to rob him.
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will their marriage survive?
Mystery: Why is Jake risking his life to go to the
conference?
Empathy/Distress: Lupe is upset.
Payoff: Jake defies Lupe and packs.
Irony: Lupe wants him to go.
Setup: She successfully convinced him to leave.

Concept: Wife uses reverse psychology to get her husband out of house during a tropical storm.

INT. DOLORES’ BEDROOM – SAME: Intriguing World, Mystery, Secret, Deception, Secret Identity, Wound, Hidden Agenda (comes later), Hidden Layer (comes later), Strange Behavior, Imminent Threat, Suspicion

Dolores smiles as she hears Jake and Lupe argue then opens closet door to expose an elaborate santeria altar with candles and rosary beads and pictures and statues of saints. She lights a black candle and chants something in Spanish. Then she reaches for her Book of Secrets and notices it is not there! She cannot catfish Jake without the book, meaning their plan will be for not. Dolores casts a location spell and finds the book in Carlos’ room.

Intriguing World: Santeria
Mystery: Dolores’ altar
Secret: What is she chanting?
Deception: Someone took her Book of Secrets
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity: Santeria priestess
Wound: Responsible for her husband’s death
Hidden Agenda: Needs book to set plan in motion
Hidden Layer: She is catfishing Lupe
Strange Behavior: Chanting in Spanish at her altar with
black candle. What is she up to?
Imminent Threat: Stolen book
Suspicion: Carlos has the book

Open Loop: Will she retrieve the book?
Mystery: How did she get this book?
Empathy/Distress: Upset about mising the book.
Payoff: Location spell found book.
Irony: Without the book, her plan is useless.
Setup: Carlos took book

Concept: Dolores is now a powerful Santeria priestess.

INT. CARLOS’ ROOM – SAME: Santeria, Mystery, Deception, Secret Identity, Hidden Agenda, Strange Behavior, Imminent Threat, Suspicion

Carlos isn’t packing. He’s on his bed, flipping through Dolores’ book. Dolores barges into his room, warning him that stealing this sacred book will curse him. Carlos scoffs and says curses only work if you believe in them. Dolores narrows her eyes, suspicious of her grandson. How much does he know? And should she reverse the curse? Furious, Dolores snatches the book from Carlos and warns him to stay away from her altar or next time she won’t reverse the curse. Carlos rolls his eyes as Dolores storms out of the room with her book.

Intriguing World: Santeria
Mystery: Why is the book so important
Secret: The book will curse anyone who steals it
Deception: Carlos stole his grandmother’s book
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity: Dolores is a santeria priestess
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: Dolores is going to cast a spell on Lupe
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior: Grandmother threatens to curse her
grandson
Imminent Threat: Dolores threatens Carlos to stay away
from her book.
Suspicion: Dolores wonders why Carlos doesn’t believe
in curses.

Open Loop: Will Dolores curse Carlos?
Mystery: Why is this book so important to Dolores?
Empathy/Distress: Without the book she is powerless.
Payoff: Location spell found the book.
Irony: Her grandson is immune to her threats.
Setup: Threatens Carlos to stay away from her book.
Will he?

Concept: Dolores threatens Carlos to stay away from The Book of Secrets.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – SAME: Mystery, Secret, Deception, Conspiracy, Deception, Secret Identity, Wound, Hidden Agenda, Strange Behavior, Imminent Threat

Jake SLAMS the front door and heads toward garage. Walking toward his car he realizes he forgot his suitcase. Shit! For a moment he wonders if he should go back in. When he realizes his speech is inside his briefcase, he rushes back inside to face the wrath of Lupe. When he enters the bedrom, he finds all of his clothes on the floor. Furious, Jake throws everything into his suitcase and rushes out of the room with his bags without saying goodbye.

Intriguing World:
Mystery: Why did Lupe do this?
Secret: She is going to rob him when he leaves.
Deception: Lupe threw all of Jake’s close on the floor.
Conspiracy: It is part of her plan to ruin him.
Secret Identity: She is a career criminal.
Wound: Lupe is codependent.
Hidden Agenda: She wants to piss Jake off.
Hidden Layer: She is stalling to piss him off.
Strange Behavior: Lupe throws all of Jake’s close on
the floor.
Imminent Threat: Lupe could make Jake late to the
airport.
Suspicion: Why is Jake flying during a tropical storm?

Open Loop: Will Jake make it to the airport in time?
Mystery: Why is their marriage in the toilet?
Empathy/Distress: Jake is not listening to his
“concerned” wife.
Payoff: Lupe’s act works. Jake is furious and
definitely leaving.
Irony: Lupe wants Jake to leave, but begs him to stay.
Setup: Lupe tosses Jake’s clothes on the floor to anger
Jake.

Concept: Lupe wins the fight, even though on the surface it appears Jake has.

INT. GARAGE – SAME:

Jake tries to start his car, but it is dead. Pounding his hands on the steering wheel, Jake screams. Looking at his watch he realizes he is running late for his flight. He gets out and opens Lupe’s car, starts up the engine, clicks the remote, backs out, closes garage door, and drives away.

Intriguing World:
Mystery: Why doesn’t Jake’s car start?
Secret: Carlos cut the wires to prevent his stepdad
from leaving, so he could be safe.
Deception: Jake takes Lupe’s car without asking.
Conspiracy: The family is plotting to leave and rob
Jake.
Secret Identity: The family members are career
criminals.
Wound: Carlos likes Jake.
Hidden Agenda: Carlos wants Jake to be safe.
Hidden Layer: Jake is having an affair.
Strange Behavior: Jake insists on going to conference
during a tropical storm.
Imminent Threat: Tropical storm.
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will Jake make it to the airport in time?
Mystery: Why doesn’t his car start?
Empathy/Distress: Jake can’t start his car?
Payoff: Jake has both of his bags.
Irony: Lupe actually wants Jake to leave.
Setup: He takes Lupe’s car.

Concept: Jake ignores Lupe and drives to conference in her car.

Act 2:

INT. JAKE’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT: Deception, Wound, Imminent Threat

The TV is blaring with news that Tropical Storm Lupe is growing stronger. Lupe and Dolores fight over the volume on the TV set. Dolores says she can barely hear it. Lupe takes the remote from Dolores, because the blaring volume is giving her a headache. Dolores slaps Lupe and tells her to go to fuck herself. Lupe rubs her cheek as Dolores leaves with the remote in her hand.

Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception: Dolores defies her mother
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Lupe never got real love from Dolores
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Tropical Storm growing stronger
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will storm hit land?
Mystery: Why is their relationship so antagonistic?
Empathy/Distress: Mother/daughter fighting.
Payoff: ?
Irony: Two women who hate each other are trying to
watch TV together.
Setup: Lupe turns up TV on purpose to piss her mother
off.

Concept: Dolores defies her mother.

INT. DOLORES’ BEDROOM – SAME: Intriguing world, Mystery, Secret, Deception, Secret Identity, Wound, Hidden agenda, Hidden layer, Strange behavior, Imminent threat

Dolores storms up to her room and SLAMS the door, taking care to lock it to avoid intruders. She opens her closet, exposing an elaborate altar that appears to have been constructed by Marie Laveau and Mother Mary. Dolores chants in Spanish as she lights several candles and places an offering of flowers, fruit, and rum on her altar. Dolores opens her book of secrets and shakes a chicken bone wrapped in bloody feathers. If she reverses the curse, Carlos will be the new owner of the book, thereby inheriting the book’s power. Unwilling to share or give her power away, Dolores’ eyes grow dark as she resumes her chants.

Intriguing World: Santeria
Mystery: Just how powerful is this book?
Secret: Performing a curse behind closed doors.
Deception: Cursing grandson.
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity: Santeria priestess
Wound: Greed
Hidden Agenda: To stay in power
Hidden Layer: Whatever it takes
Strange Behavior: Chanting at altar
Imminent Threat: Carlos is going to be cursed
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will the curse work?
Mystery: How did the book become cursed?
Empathy/Distress: Dolores could harm Carlos
Payoff: Gets Carlos back for stealing her book.
Irony: Carlos is immune to curses, because he doesn’t
believe in them.
Setup: Carlos steals book.

Concept: Dolores curses her grandson

INT. MARCO’S HOUSE – NIGHT: Secret, Deception, Conspiracy, Secret Identity, Hidden Agenda, Strange Behavior

Marco and Lupe have sex. During sex they discuss plans to liquidate Jake and Lupe’s shared accounts and for Marco to contact the movers to clear out the house. They don’t have much time and must act quickly. As Marco is calling the movers, he pushes Lupe down under the covers, so she can give him a blow job. As he is talking on the phone, there is a loud knock at the door. [Later it will be revealed that Marco and Lupe are cousins who Dolores paired up so she could use their combined incestual energies to create a powerful hex on her daughter.]

Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret: Lupe and Marco are plotting to rob Jake
Deception: Lupe is cheating on Jake and planning to
ruin him
Conspiracy: Lupe and Marco are in on the plan
Secret Identity: Dutiful mother and wife
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: To ruin Jake
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior: Discussing plans during sex?
Imminent Threat:
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will they pull this off?
Mystery: Why are they robbing Jake?
Empathy/Distress: Who’s at the door?
Payoff: Will come later when they rob him
Irony: Lupe and Marco are lovers and cousins (to learn
later)
Setup: Calling movers; making plans to rob Jake

Concept: Marco and Lupe plan their heist

Act 3:

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY: Imminent Threat, Conspiracy, Strange Behavior

News reports Tropical Storm Lupe is building momentum and growing stronger. 24-foot swells are predicted and back roads are closing due to flooding. Lupe rushes everyone to pack as Dolores watches the news with the TV blaring. Choosing her battles, Lupe decides to go upstairs and start packing.They have 24 hours to pack up and leave. Marco calls. He can’t find movers. Lupe asks Dolores to locate some movers. Still miffed at her daughter, Dolores tell Lupe to find them herself.

Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception:
Conspiracy: Planning to rob Jake
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior: Moving during a storm
Imminent Threat: Tropical storm approaching
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will they find movers in time?
Mystery: Why do Lupe and Dolores hate each other?
Empathy/Distress: Having trouble finding movers
Payoff: Dolores won’t help.
Irony:
Setup: Lupe asks her mother for help.

Concept: Lupe needs movers. Lupe and Dolores have a shit relationship.

INT. JAKE’S HOME OFFICE – DAY: Secret Identity, Hidden Agenda, Hidden Layer, Strange Behavior, Imminent Threat

Marco walks into Jake’s office and sticks a thumb drive into Jake’s computer. He has five tries to guess the password. If he guesses wrong, the house alarm will sound, and the police will arrive within minutes. A clever program Carlos created for his stepdad. Marco is sweating with each missed try. On his last try, he looks up at Jake’s diploma. Graduation date? He types in the month day and year as one word lowercase and he’s in. The wind is growing stronger and the windows are shaking. Marco redirects a child pornography site on the dark web and redirects it to Jake’s IPS. He also uploads X-rated pics of naked kids to frame him as a pedophile and then creates a folder of additional incriminating photos on his desktop. Marco opens up Jake’s inbox and sees a barrage of sex trafficking emails from eager customers and smiles. He’s done.

Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity: Marco is a computer hacker
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: To frame Jake
Hidden Layer: To win Lupe’s affection
Strange Behavior: Marco breaking in to Jake’s computer
Imminent Threat: Criminal charges for Jake
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will Jake get caught?
Mystery: Why is Lupe doing this to Jake?
Empathy/Distress: Will Marco be able to get into Jake’s
computer?
Payoff: Marco gets in.
Irony: Carlos set up the login protection that is
challenging Marco, but Marco doesn’t know that, nor does Carlos offer to
help.
Setup: Password-protected computer.

Concept: Marco frames Jake

INT. DOLORES’ ROOM – DAY: Intriguing world, mystery, secret, deception, conspiracy, secret identity, wound, hidden agenda, hidden layer, strange behavior, imminent threat

Tropical Storm Lupe has turned into a Category 4 hurricane, damaging most of the Bahamas. It continues to grow in speed and intensity. Dolores isn’t packed. Instead, she inspects her santeria shit calmly while everyone else is rushing. She is more focused on the lit candles on her altar than packing. She is about to cast another spell, when she hears a knock at the door.

Intriguing World: Santeria, hurricanes
Mystery: Why isn’t Dolores packed?
Secret: Dolores isn’t packed.
Deception: She is slowing things down.
Conspiracy: She and the spirits are conspiring to harm
Jake.
Secret Identity: Santeria priestess.
Wound: Poor as a child; greedy/power-hungry as an adult
Hidden Agenda: To rob Jake
Hidden Layer: To take the money from Lupe
Strange Behavior: Casting spells during a hurricane
when she should be packing
Imminent Threat: Hurricane Lupe
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Who is at the door?
Mystery: Why isn’t Dolores packed?
Empathy/Distress: Lupe is trying to leave, but Dolores
is dragging her heels.
Payoff: TBD
Irony: Everyone’s rushing/in danger. Dolores doesn’t
care.
Setup: Dolores is getting ready to do another spell.

Concept: Dolores is sick with power and desires spells above all else, including her family

INT. BANK – DAY: Intriguing world, Secret, Deception, Conspiracy, Secret Identity, Wound, Hidden Agenda, Hidden layer,

Lupe rushes into a bank, heart racing but trying to appear calm as she approaches a teller. She is dressed to the nines in a Channel suit and matching bag. She approaches a teller who initially smiles but then scowls when Lupe mentions she wants to empty all of her joint accounts, which contains millions. Lupe is panicking and asks to speak to the branch manager. The manager also resists and Lupe threatens to call her lawyer unless they give her what she wants. She is speaking in a loud tone. To keep customers calm and Lupe quiet, the manager steps in. He says he needs to make some calls to get that kind of money. Lupe pulls a gun on him and forces the manager to take her into the vault where she proceeds to take as much money that she can fit in the bags. All of this is caught on tape, and the police have been called. To discover later: No matter, Lupe changes identities and appearances on the regular.

Intriguing World: White collar crime.
Mystery:
Secret: Lupe is a criminal.
Deception: Lupe steals from Jake
Conspiracy: To skip town set him up for crimes
Secret Identity: Career criminal.
Wound: Feels unloved.
Hidden Agenda: To rob Jake.
Hidden Layer: To win over her mother’s love.
Strange Behavior: Robbing her own husband.
Imminent Threat: Ticking clock of hurricae
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will Lupe get the money?
Mystery: Why is Lupe robbing Jake?
Empathy/Distress: Will she get caught?
Payoff: Going to not just empty the joint accounts, but
also the entire vault
Irony: Carlos has already moved Jake’s money into
offshore accounts
Setup: Needs to empty accounts

Concept: Lupe liquidates all of their joint accounts.

INT. BEAUTY SUPPLY STORE – SAME: Deception, Conspiracy, Hidden agenda, Hidden layer, Strange behavior, Imminent threat

Lupe rushes into the store and starts tossing hair dye, clippers, makeup, clippers, and scissors into her basket. The shelves are practically bare. There is a wig Lupe has an eye on, but a customer grabs it before Lupe can. They get into an altercation and play tug of war with the wig. Lupe lets go of the wig and the woman falls flat on her ass. Lupe laughs and snatches the wig from the injured woman, taking care to step on her hand with her stilettos as she heads to the register.

Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception: Lupe is buying disguises
Conspiracy: The family is robbing and framing Jake
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: To disguise everyone
Hidden Layer: To not get caught
Strange Behavior: Buying so many supplies
Imminent Threat: Hurricane Lupe
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will the woman chase after her?
Mystery: ?
Empathy/Distress: Lupe wants wig. So does other woman.
Payoff: Lupe lets go of wig.
Irony: ?
Setup: Tug-of-war.

Concept: Dolores is ruthless.

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY: Deception, Conspiracy, Hidden Agenda, Hidden Layer, Imminent threat

Marco arrives with a team of movers. When they walk to the front door, Marco notices they are tipsy. He yells at them for coming to work drunk and shoves them on the lawn, since they are useless. Marco enlists Carlos and Mikey to load the truck. The boys need convincing as Marco burns time forcing them to help. With an hour and counting, they need to move FAST. Lupe shows up with burner phones, bags of money, and disguises. She drops them on the marble floor and sees the house filled with furnishings, furious.

Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception: Robbing Jake
Conspiracy: Whole family’s in on it
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: To frame Jake for child sex trafficking
Hidden Layer: So they can get away with robing him
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Running out of time
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will they get out in time?
Mystery: What’s up with all the disguises?
Empathy/Distress: Drunk movers. Kids don’t want to
help.
Payoff: Kids help
Irony: The help is incapacitated/unwilling
Setup: Drunk movers

Concept: Good help is hard to find

Act 4:

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY: Deception, Conspiracy, Hidden agenda, Hidden layer, Imminent threat

Marco starts to board up the office windows to protect the incriminating evidence. Unfortunately, the drunk movers called a cab earlier and left with most of the wood. Out of time, Lupe and the kids start carrying suitcases downstairs. All the back roads are closed and the winds are blowing hard. There is no TV signal, so they don’t even know if they can make it to the highway. Debris and branches blow across the lawn, with one large branch hitting their dining room window, causing Lupe to jump. Lupe yells at Marco for hiring a bunch of drunks and then hands him a burner phone and snatches his other one before he can comment.

Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception: Robbing Jake while he is out of town
Conspiracy: Whole family’s in on it
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: Leave house before hurricane hits
Hidden Layer: To rob Jake
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Hurricane Lupe
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will they get out befor hurricane hits?
Mystery: Why did the drunk movers take the wood?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff: Can’t be tracked
Irony: Marco needs wood. Movers left with most of it.
Setup: Burner phones/got rid of other phones

Concept: Lupe and family struggle to leave.

INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY: Secret, Deception, Wound, Hidden agenda, Hidden layer, Strange behavior, Imminent threat, Suspicion

At an out-of-state hotel, Jake unpacks his suitcase and answers a knock at the door. It is an attractive woman, smiling. As Jake opens the door, his phone rings. It’s Lupe calling to keep up the front so he doesn’t suspect anything. Jake shushes the woman who greets Jake with an eager “hi…” Jake lies and tells Lupe it’s the TV and says he has to go for drinks with the other conference attendees and hangs up. Lupe keeps calling while Jake kisses the woman on her neck, savoring every inch of her as each call goes to voicemail and beeps. Annoyed, Jake turns his phone off and tosses it on the dresser as he pulls the woman closer to him and the bed.

Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret: Jake’s having an affair
Deception: Behind Lupe’s back
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Lupe is jealous
Hidden Agenda: Lupe puts up a front
Hidden Layer: To prevent him from suspecting anything
Strange Behavior: She gets upset at someone she is
going to leave
Imminent Threat: Other woman
Suspicion: Lupe suspects Jake is with someone else

Open Loop: Will Lupe stay to fight with Jake? Will she
confront the other woman?
Mystery: How long has Jake been with this other woman?
Empathy/Distress: Lupe is jealous/pissed.
Payoff: Infuriates Lupe.
Irony: Lupe calls to feign concern and gets concerned
for real when she hears the other woman.
Setup: Phone call to Jake.

Concept: Jake is having an affair

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY: Mystery, Wound, Hidden Agenda, Hidden Layer, Strange Behavior, Imminent Threat

Lupe is stressed out, because it’s time to go and she can’t control Jake or her mother who is casting spells in her bedroom when they need to go. NOW. Lupe barges into her mother’s room, furious to see Dolores hasn’t even packed. Lupe starts opening drawers and tossing clothes into Dolores’ suitcase. Dolores yells at Lupe and says the suitcase is for her book and candles, as they fight in Spanish over the fact that she isn’t even packed.

Intriguing World:
Mystery: Why doesn’t Dolores want to pack her clothes?
Secret:
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Lupe is a control freak; she and her mother have
a stressful relationship
Hidden Agenda: Dolores wants to piss Lupe off
Hidden Layer: She hates her daughter
Strange Behavior: They need to leave, but she isn’t
packed
Imminent Threat: Hurricane
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will they get out in time?
Mystery: Why do Lupe and Dolores have such a bad
relationship? Why is Dolores casting spells?
Empathy/Distress: Lupe and Dolores fighting.
Payoff: Pisses Lupe off.
Irony: Stalling when they need to leave
Setup: Dolores procrastinating

Concept: Lupe and Dolores get into a fight over her not being packed yet.

INT. HOTEL CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY: Mystery, Secret, Deception, Wound, Hidden Agenda, Hidden Layer, Strange Behavior, Suspicion

Jake walks into the great room with his briefcase, confident. When he gets to the stage, he sets his briefcase down and opens it on an adjacent chair and reaches for his speech. Flummoxed, it is not where he left it in the top pocket. He fumbles through the briefcase, frantic. Nothing. But then he notices a lump under a notepad and finds a pile of shredded papers. His speech! There are hundreds of hospital adminstrators in the audience from prestigious hospitals, scouting speakers to work at their hospitals for higher pay. Jake left his laptop at home and is going to have to wing it. He’s not very good at winging it. He even has feedback from the mic and turns six shades of red. Soon into his speech people start leaving in droves, including the hospital administrators. His mistress is one of the few people left by the time he gives up and gets off the podium.

Intriguing World:
Mystery: Who shredded his speech?
Secret: Lupe did it.
Deception: His wife ruined not just his life, but also
his career.
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Pride. Failed in front of others.
Hidden Agenda: To ruin Jake.
Hidden Layer: Spite.
Strange Behavior: Shredded speech.
Imminent Threat:
Suspicion: Jake suspects Lupe did it.

Open Loop: Will Jake confront Lupe?
Mystery: Who shredded the speech?
Empathy/Distress: Jake is thrown. Now what?
Payoff: Jake is embarassed.
Irony: He is having an affair and plans to leave Lupe.
Now he can’t because his career is in the toilet.
Setup: Lupe shreds speech.

Concept: Lupe fucked over Jake by running his speech through the shredder

EXT. JAKE’S HOUSE – SAME: Deception, Conspiracy, Secret Identity, Imminent threat,

The wind is growing louder, branches and lawn chairs are blowing across the yard. The remaining neighbors left days ago. Lupe tosses everyone’s cell phones into the bushes and one flies back and slaps her in the face. Lupe screams and then storms inside and hands out burner phones to Dolores and the kids. Marco gets in the moving truck and everyone else follows Lupe to the garage, but her car isn’t there! Furious, Lupe tries to start Jake’s car, and it’s dead. After screaming and pounding her hands on the steering wheel, Lupe calls Marco to help. Marco, halfway down the street with a hitch for Lupe’s car, has to manuever the awkward truck, as he wastes more time and the rain and winds grow heavier. He jacknifes and struggles to get the truck facing the right direction. When he finally arrives, he tries to jump start the car with the truck, but there are no cables in the back of Lupe’s car or the moving truck. Lupe and Dolores fight over how stupid Lupe is.

Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception: Lupe is trying to rob Jake
Conspiracy: The whole family’s in on it
Secret Identity: They’re career criminals
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Running out of time
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will they get out in time?
Mystery: Why doesn’t Lupe have jumper cables? [Need
something better}
Empathy/Distress: Lupe is freaking out, because her car
is gone and Jake’s won’t start. Marco struggles to turn the truck around.
Payoff: Jake’s car is dead. Lupe is stuck.
Irony: Jake threw an inadvertent wrench in Lupe’s plan.
Setup: Jake took Lupe’s car.

Concept: The family is in a bind.

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – SAME: Deception, Wound, Imminent Threat

Jake plays the devoted husband and calls to check on the family. All of his calls go to voicemail. Marco calls from the car rental place with bad news. There are no rental cars and only three fit in the moving truck. Lupe screams and gets into a fight with Marco over the phone about how useless he is. She hangs up and tells him to hurry up.

Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception: Jake pretends to care about Lupe and calls
to check in.
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Lupe’s an unstable, vile control freak
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Running out of time
Suspicion:

Open Loop: How are they all going to fit in the moving
truck?
Mystery: Why are Lupe and Jake still married? [Not
quite. Need something else.]
Empathy/Distress: Lupe is freaking out because there
are no rental cars.
Payoff: Lupe is in a bind.
Irony: He inadvertently thwarts part of her plan.
Setup: Jake take’s Lupe’s car and leaves her with a
dud.

Concept: Lupe has a temper. Jake inadvertently thwarts part of Lupe’s plan by taking her car and leaving his.

EXT. JAKE’S DRIVEWAY – LATER: Imminent threat, wound, hidden agenda, hidden layer

Marco returns with the moving truck. The wind is so strong, he can barely open the driver’s side door. Lupe rushes everyone in the moving truck, packing them in like sardines. Dolores is the last one in. Before she gets in the van, she looks up at the dark sky and smiles. Marco tries to back out, but with everyone packed in, he can’t shift gears. Lupe tells Dolores to get her fat ass in the cargo area of the truck. Dolores kicks the boys out of the truck, in the hailing rain, as Marco opens the cargo door. Lupe and Dolores fight in Spanish over the situation.

Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Dolores and Lupe have a strained relationship
Hidden Agenda: To rob Jake and escape with everything
Hidden Layer: To ruin Jake
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Hurricane coming
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will they be able to leave?
Mystery: How did Dolores and Lupe become so strained?
Empathy/Distress: Dolores and Lupe fight
Payoff: Marco can’t shift gears.
Irony: Need to rush; slowed down by lack of rental cars
and space
Setup: They all try to fit in truck.

Concept: Lupe has no sway over Dolores.

INT. MIKEY’S ROOM – SAME: Imminent threat

Mikey’s closet door is open, a snake slithers out of a terrarium and glides across the room. With a closer look we see it is a black mamba. If the snake kills Jake, it will foil Lupe’s plans. Moving slowly, the snake moves quietly to the door of Mikey’s room and proceeds to slither down the hall, heading toward the stairs.

Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Deadly snake in house
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will the snake kill Jake?
Mystery: Why does Mikey have a deadly snake?
Empathy/Distress: We worry about Jake’s safety.
Payoff: To come later.
Irony: Something left behind that could ruin their
plans.
Setup: Mikey left a deadly snake behind.

Concept: There’s a deadly snake loose in the house.

EXT. HWY – LATER: Imminent threat, Secret, Deception

I-75 is a parking lot. A LONG stretch of cars are trying to escape the wrath of Hurricane Lupe, which is now predicted to turn into a Category 5 hurricane and hit land by midnight. Hail pummels the cars as one hydroplanes its way into a ditch. Frustrated by Lupe’s screams, Marco slowly moves his way over to the shoulder and starts passing all of the cars. A cop spots them and starts to chase after their truck. Marco freaks out. His license was suspended and he could get arrested. Lupe tells him to shut up and drive faster. Marco speeds up and spots another car in front of them. Because of the slippery road, when Marco slams on his brakes to avoid colliding into another car riding on the shoulder, he skids off the shoulder, almost toppling the truck. The officer catches up with them and arrests Marco for reckless driving and driving with a suspended license. Lupe is forced to take over and struggles to get back on the highway as she awkwardly tries to handle the truck, whose wheels are spinning in the mud. She pounds the steering wheel and gets out of the driver’s seat, opens the cargo door, and commands the boys and Dolores to push her out of the mud. Dolores refuses to help, forcing Lupe to get wet and muddy, along with the boys. After much effort and wasted time, they get back on the shoulder. Lupe closes the boys back in the cargo and shushes Dolores before she can complain further.

Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret: Marco’s license is suspended
Deception: Didn’t tell Lupe that
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Cop chasing them, Hurricane, Running
out of time
Suspicion:

Open Loop: What’s going to happen now?
Mystery: Why was Marco’s license suspended?
Empathy/Distress: Highway is a parking lot. They need
to get out FAST.
Payoff: Near accident; Marco arrested; family stuck in
mud
Irony: Name of hurricane; to avoid hitting a car, Marco
almost flips the truck; Lupe, who refuses to do heavy lifting or any type
of labor is now forced to drive a heavy truck and push it out of the mud
with her kids; in a hurry, but now delayed, because they have to bail
Marco out of jail with money stolen from Jake’s safe
Setup: Driving on shoulder; reckless driving; Marco
driving without a license

Concept: Marco gets arrested; more time is wasted.

Act 5:

INT. POSH HOTEL – DAY: Mystery, Deception, Wound, Hidden agenda, Hidden layer, Strange behavior,

Lupe and her family are out of state in a very nice hotel. Everyone except Mikey has changed their appearance. Marco tosses large, sealed envelopes on the bed, informing them these are their new identities. Lupe walks the room, inspecting everyone. Mikey still looks like Mikey, and he refuses to dye his hair and eyebrows blonde and get a buzz cut. Mikey is built like a bull. He is the muscle of the operation and Lupe cannot overpower him. When Mikey is caught off guard, Marco holds Mikey in a headlock. A fight ensues. Marco wins the fight as Lupe shaves her son’s head as he weeps on the floor. Marco tells him it’s time to dye his hair. Mikey stands up, looks at himself in the mirror, and shatters the glass with his fist.

Intriguing World:
Mystery: Why is Mikey so opposed to changing his
appearance?
Secret:
Deception: Family changing their identity
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Mikey is proud
Hidden Agenda: To change appearance
Hidden Layer: To avoid getting caught
Strange Behavior: Mikey punches mirror with fist
Imminent Threat:
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will they be able to pull this off?
Mystery: Have they done this before?
Empathy/Distress: Fight between Mikey and Marco
Payoff: Marco and Lupe force Mikey to go along with
their plan
Irony: A big guy acting like a baby
Setup: Mikey refuses to change appearance

Concept: Mikey is an immature douche.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – NIGHT: Mystery, Secret, Deception, Conspiracy, Imminent Threat

Days after the conference, Jake pulls into the neighborhood, shocked by all the damage Hurricane Lupe left in her wake. As he pulls into his driveway, he notices his garage door has been torn off and several windows have been broken. He pulls into his garage and notices his car is still there. A mixture of dread and relief come over him. She’s still there. Or so he thinks. When he walks inside, he calls for his family. But no one is there. Not only that. The power is out! He sets his suitcase down and fumbles in the utility drawer in the kitchen for a flashlight. It’s empty. He looks up and shines the flashlight on his phone around him, turning slowly. His entire house is empty! He tries calling Lupe several times, each call going straight to voicemail. With the dim light from his cell phone, he searches frantically from room to room. From what he can see, everything is empty, save for his office. He storms upstairs, using the railing for leverage and just misses stepping on Mikey’s snake. The snake hisses as Jake rushes by.

Intriguing World:
Mystery: Where is everyone? Why is the house empty?
Secret: He’s been robbed
Deception: By his own family
Conspiracy: Everyone was in on it
Secret Identity:
Wound: Broken trust
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Black Mamba
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will snake get Jake?
Mystery for Jake: Where is everyone? Why is all his
stuff gone?
Empathy/Distress: Due to mystery above, Jake is
concerned and searching frantically through the house.
Payoff: Jake comes home to an empty house.
Irony: His own family robbed him.
Setup: Family robbed Jake.

Concept: Jake comes home and finds everything, including his family, gone.

INT. POSH HOTEL – NIGHT: Mystery, Secret, Deception, Wound, Hidden agenda, Hidden layer, Strange behavior, Imminent threat

Marco arrives with Chinese food. Mikey, still pissed, refuses to eat. As the rest of the family is eating, Mikey smiles and tells everyone he left Negrito, the black mamba, back at the house. Lupe gasps as she realizes this could ruin everything. As he and Lupe are arguing, Dolores slaps Mikey hard across the face, chastizing him for potentially ruining everything. Mikey backs away and picks up his burner phone and threatens to call the cops. Lupe tells him to stop being a child and to put his phone away. Mikey refuses. Marco stands up and glares at Mikey. He looks toward Lupe for permission. Lupe closes her eyes and nods quickly. Marco gets up and bodyslams Mikey and proceeds to beat the living shit out of him. Holding him by the throat, nearly strangling him, Marco says he will kill him if he ever pulls that shit again. With his eyes bulging and face reddening, Mikey nods and Marco releases his grip while Mikey coughs, lying wounded on the floor.

Intriguing World:
Mystery: Why is Mikey so pissed?
Secret: Mikey tried to ruin everything.
Deception: Mikey didn’t tell anyone until it was too
late.
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Mikey is troubled because he is closeted and
jealous because he knows Carlos is Dolores’ favorite.
Hidden Agenda: To upset family
Hidden Layer: Jealousy; wants to hurt them
Strange Behavior: Mother lets boyfriend nearly kill her
son
Imminent Threat: Mikey left the snake
Suspicion: Why did Mikey leave the snake?

Open Loop: Will Mikey ruin the plan or turn on the
family?
Mystery: Why did Mikey try to ruin the plan?
Empathy/Distress: Mikey infuriates the entire family.
Payoff: He got a rise out of his family.
Irony: Family turning against family.
Setup: Mikey left deadly snake behind.

Concet: Mikey is a selfish brat.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – NIGHT:

Jake calls Lupe again, but the calls all go to voicemail. Jake takes a moment to think things through. Pacing across the floor, he starts talking to himself. If he calls the police, they will find the family. Does he really want Lupe back? But then there’s Carlos, who’s a real smart kid with a good head on his shoulders. He wants to make sure the kid’s OK. Plus all his stuff. What the fuck happened there? Was he looted? After careful thought, he calls the police to report a robbery and his missing family. With the power still out, Jake is alone in the house with a deadly snake he knows nothing about.

Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret: Loose snake in house
Deception: Jake his been framed and robbed
Conspiracy: His family did it
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Deadly snake; also police (although
Jake knows neither)
Suspicion:

Open Loop: What will happen when the police arrive?
Mystery (to Jake): What happened? Where are his family?
Where is his stuff?
Empathy/Distress: Jake has been robbed and doesn’t know
where his family is.
Payoff: Jake can’t track them down
Irony: His own family robbed and framed him.
Setup: Lupe gets burner phones

Concept: Jake is conflicted about calling the police.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – LATER: Mystery, Secret, Deception, Strange Behavior, Imminent Threat

There is a loud knock at the door. Unable to see outside, Jake asks who it is. When the police announce themselves, he opens the door. With all the lights out, the cops use their flashlights. Jake is relieved they have arrived. He explains what happened: the fight, the conference, the unanswered voicemails. He tries to give them photos of the family to place on TV so they can find his mising family. Disinterested in the photos, the police, who were tipped off by one of the drunk movers (as planned), walk right into Jake’s office and head straight to his computer. While the police inspect his office, Jake thinks for clues, he texts a photo of his family to a local TV station.

Intriguing World:
Mystery: Why don’t the police want to help Jake find
his family?
Secret: A friend of the family made an anonymous call
from a burner phone to tell the police to investigate Jake.
Deception: Jake framed by his family.
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior: Police don’t seem interested in the
robbery or Jake’s family
Imminent Threat: Police and deadly snake
Suspicion:

Open Loop: What will the police find in Jake’s office?
Mystery: Where is everyone/everything?
Empathy/Distress: Jake is worried.
Payoff: Police are about to find evidence to frame
Jake.
Irony: His family set him up
Setup: Marco placed child porn and built a child sex
trafficking site on Jake’s computer; anonymous call to police.

Concept: The police aren’t helping Jake.

INT. POSH HOTEL – NIGHT: Imminent threat

Full from dinner and tired from the day’s drama, the family watches TV. A news bulletin flashes. A photo of Lupe and family appears and newscaster says they are missing. Shit! Jake just inadvertently made their escape more difficult. They are on the lam and do not want to be discovered. The family starts packing. Marco calls one of his workers to confirm the furniture has been taken to the warehouse before they peel out of the parking lot in Lupe’s new car.

Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Photo of family as missing on news
Suspicion:

Open Loop: Will they get caught?
Mystery: Why are they storing stolen furniture?
Empathy/Distress: Family must rush to leave the country
Payoff: The family are on the news listed as missing
Irony: They want to be missing; Jake inadvertently made
their escape more difficult
Setup: Jake texts photo of family to local news station

Concept: Lupe and family are forced to run.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – NIGHT: Intriguing world, Mystery, Deception, Conspiracy, Wound, Strange Behavior, Imminent threat

As the police look through Jake’s computer, Jake is confused, because the police do not seem interested in the robbery or his family, but rather his computer and what’s on it. He asks them why they are so focused on his computer, and one of the officers starts questioning Jake about the images of naked children and sex trafficking websites he created. Jake refuses to answer. This is bullshit. What the fuck is happening? Jake says he wants his lawyer. One of the officers cuffs Jake while reading him his Miranda rights as the other officer calls the CI team to come and bag the computer and take it to the lab for further searches.

Intriguing World: Child sex trafficking
Mystery: Who put the porn on Jake’s computer?
Secret:
Deception: Framed by family
Conspiracy: They were all in on it
Secret Identity:
Wound: Betrayal
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior: Police aren’t being helpful
Imminent Threat: Jake has been framed and has just been
arrested
Suspicion:

Open Loop: What’s going to happen to Jake?
Mystery: Why would a pediatric surgeon be running a
child sex trafficking ring?
Empathy/Distress: Jake is upset about being framed?
Payoff: Police came to investigate Jake
Irony: Jake was framed by his own family. Pediatric
surgeon framed as a pedophile.
Setup: Marco put child porn, etc. on Jake’s computer;
another person tipped off the police

Concept: Jake is arrested.

[Diana Ceres]

Pass 2:

Diana’s Scene Requirements

What I learned: Taking the outline, step by step in this fashion helps me create a more engaging story. I even had some new ideas that I incorporated as I went through each scene. Having the skeleton/beginning of the outline makes it much easier to start adding flesh to the bones of the show, and this format makes me feel more confident in the quality of my writing, because I am following a specific formula designed to get audiences hooked. I can’t wait to see the final product!

Teaser

INT. PRIESTESS CHAMBERS INSIDE THE COMPOUND OF SINOLOA CARTEL LORD – NIGHT

A young Dolores is cleaning the shrine of the cartel’s santeria priestess, Maya, as the Cartel’s Santeria priestess is preparing a spell to keep rival cartels away. Dolores accidentally spills ceremonial wine on the cover of the sacred Book of Spirits. Maya chastises Dolores and hands her the sacred tome, commanding her to clean it immediately.

Sidebar: If the book is stolen, a person is cursed. Curse TBD. But since Maya handed the book to Dolores, she avoids the curse.

• Start: Dolores cleaning shrine.

• Challenging Situation: Dolores spills wine on the sacred book of secrets.

• Conflict: She has just tainted the book and angered the cartel’s witch and now Dolores’ life could be in danger.

• Action: Maya, the witch/santeria commands Dolores to clean the sacred tome and to not bring it back until there is not one drop of wine on the pages.

• Finish: Dolores rushes out of the priestess chambers with the tome.

INT. DRUG LAB OF SINOLOA CARTEL LORD – SAME

Dolores’ husband, Hector, is packaging bricks of heroin in the lab. The cartel accountant is looking over the books. He calls over one of the cartel captains and points out an inventory error in Hector’s log. The captain accuses Hector of stealing heroin, when it was actually the captain who is doing the skimming and selling it to a rival cartel. Cartel captain questions Hector and accuses him of theft. Hector denies it and the captain roughs Hector up. Hector begs him to stop. The captain beats Hector to a pulp and leaves the lab, sending a powerful message to the other mules as Hector groans in pain.

• Start: Hector is packaging bricks of heroin.

• Challenging Situation: Cartel captain approaches Hector and accuses him of skimming heroin.

• Conflict: Hector must prove his innocence.

• Action: Cartel captain roughs Hector up.

• Finish: Captain leaves Hector beaten to a pulp on the floor.

INT. PRIESTESS CHAMBERS – SAME

When Dolores returns with the cleaned book, Maya is nowhere to be found. Dolores feels a gentle pulsation from the book. Little does she know the book has now bonded with her and believes her to be the new priestess and owner of the book. Dolores rubs the book’s leather cover and admires the glyphs on the cover. Soon purple smoke emits from the book and the cover glyphs change. Dolores looks up when she hears bottles rattling and observes one of the potion bottles releasing gray smoke. Frightened, she tries to put the book on the altar, but it refuses to be set down, clinging to her like a powerful magnet. The rattling of the bottles on the altar and shelves grow louder. Dolores tries to pry the book from her hands. When she realizes the book won’t leave her hands, she heads upstairs, instead of leaving the book on the altar as instructed.

• Start: Dolores returns with book.

• Challenging Situation: Book connects with Dolores energetically, claiming her as the new owner. Dolores does not know what to make of the purple smoke coming from the book. It frightens her.

• Conflict: She is mesmerized by the Book of Secrets, a book that belongs to the cartel’s priestess, and when she tries to place it on the altar, it refuses to be set down.

• Action: Bottles rattle on the shelves, purple smoke emanates from the book. Dolores tries to set the book on the altar but it won’t let go of her.

• Finish: Dolores hurriedly leaves with the book, instead of leaving it on the altar as instructed.

INT. MEETING CHAMBER IN COMPOUND OF SINOLOA CARTEL – NIGHT

The head of the cartel and his captains are seated around an ornate table. There is some conversation about shipments, the tunnel Maya is going to protect, who’s shipping what when, etc. When the drug lord inquires of any problems, one of the captains mentions Hector’s “theft.” The head of the cartel smiles calmly. Before he makes a decision, he asks each of the captains what he should do, they all say some variation of the same thing: he’s a traitor; kill him. When he gets to Hector’s boss, his boss says the theft was not that big, perhaps he should not have brought it up. He says he will deal with Hector himself. It is then when the head of the cartel knows that it is Hector’s boss who has been stealing and not Hector. The head of the cartel nods at his second in command who shoots Hector’s boss in the head, making an example of him in front of the other captains, so they remember what happens to traitors.

Start: Cartel meeting with head of cartel. They are going to discuss a new tunnel they are building with Maya’s help.

• Challenging Situation: One of the captains mentions one of the workers is stealing heroin (Hector).

• Conflict: Hector is family. The head of the cartel must decide whether to spare Hector or have him executed.

• Action: The head of Cartel stands up and asks each of the captains the same question: What should he do?

• Finish: Hector’s boss is executed.

INT. BEDROOM OF DOLORES AND HECTOR – NIGHT

Hector, covered in blood and bruises limps into the bedroom. Dolores, who has been poring over the book, relishing each page, looks up and asks, matter of factly, what happened. Hector says his boss accused him of stealing. When Dolores asks if he did it, he says of course not. When Hector inquires what Dolores is reading, she just shrugs and says it’s some old book she found while cleaning. Hector comes closer realizes what she holds. Mortified, he warns her of the curse, and Dolores says she cannot be cursed because the book was handed to her, not stolen.

Dolores, fearing they will come after Hector and discover she now posesses the book, tells Hector they must leave at once. Hector resists, but Dolores won’t stand down. They sneak down to the laundry room and put on the guard’s soiled clothes and boots. The uniform too big for Dolores, she stuffs the pants into her boots and Hector helps her roll up the sleeves on her shirt.

• Start: A wounded Hector limps into the bedroom.

• Challenging Situation: He is wounded, beaten to a pulp.

• Conflict: He has been accused of stealing.

• Action: Dolores convinces him they need to leave.

• Finish: Hector and Dolores put on disguises, in hopes of escaping.

EXT. COMPOUND OF SINOLOA CARTEL LORD – NIGHT

Several armed guards stand watch. Dolores and Hector approach the guards and nod.

Once they pass and head toward the gate, one of the guards grows suspicious and yells. Dolores and Hector run. As they are running, one of the new glyphs on the cover emits a thick purple smoke, causing Dolores to escape in a puff of smoke. Instead of staying to help Hector, Dolores leaves him to be gunned down by the guards. Running down a dirt road, we see a shimmer that soon disappers into the night.

[Aside: Hector could haunt Dolores during the series and Dolores, who is carrying the drug lord’s baby, uses Hector as leverage against this baby, Lupe, who has been led to believe Hector is her biological father, held in a Sinoloan prison, and once they raise $20M, he will be released, unharmed. Lupe, is even more ruthless than Doloresk as she has cartel blood running through her icy veins.]

• Start: Hector and Dolores steal soiled guard uniforms from the laundry room.

• Challenging Situation: They must escape the compound, which is heavily armed.

• Conflict: The guards are suspicious and question Dolores and Hector, who state they were told to up security and patrol the exterior grounds.

• Action: The guards grow suspicious and cock their guns and yell for the couple to stop.

• Finish: Hector and Dolores make a run for it. The book protects Dolores with a thick cloud of smoke, but Hector is shot. Dolores keeps running, leaving her dead husband behind, without a backward glance in his direction.

Act 1

INT. JAKE’S HOME – DAY

The news is on and Jake, a renowned pediatric surgeon, is having breakfast with the family. A Category 3 hurricane is predicted. Lupe is concerned, and Jake dismisses the threat of a hurricane and says he has to go to the medical conference, since he is the keynote speaker. Lupe warns him of the storm, and Jake says the only storm there is her. As he gets up from the table, tossing his napking on his plate, Lupe follows him upstairs, shouting expletives in Spanish.

• Start: Jake having breakfast with family.

• Challenging Situation: Category 3 hurricane predicted.

• Conflict: Jake has to travel to a medical conference, as he is a keynote speaker.

• Action: Jake gets up from the table, dismissing the threat.

• Finish: Lupe follows him upstairs, shouting expletives in Spanish.

INT. JAKE AND LUPE’S BEDROOM – SAME

Jake and Lupe fight over the conference he is going to. Lupe pleads Jake to stay as he packs. She knows if she doesn’t create a fuss, he will stay, so she is going full boar, giving the best performance of her life. Jake ignores Lupe and zips his suitcase shut. Distracted by all of Lupe’s belittling remarks and threats of divorce, Jake walk out while she is still screaming, leaving his suitcase on the bed.

• Start: Jake and Lupe fight.

• Challenging Situation: Jake wants to leave. Lupe wants him to stay, or so we think.

• Conflict: Jake ignores Lupe’s pleas, which further enrages her.

• Action: Jake packs his suitcase as Lupe belittles him.

• Finish: Jake walks out while Lupe is still yelling, without his suitcase.

INT. DOLORE’S BEDROOM – SAME

Dolores smiles as she hears Jake and Lupe argue then opens closet door to expose an elaborate santeria altar with candles and rosary beads and pictures and statues of saints. She lights a black candle and chants something in Spanish. Then she reaches for her Book of Secrets and notices it is not there! She cannot catfish Jake without the book, meaning their plan will be for not. Dolores casts a location spell and finds the book in Carlos’ room.

• Start: Dolores approaches her altar and reaches for her book of secrets.

• Challenging Situation: The sacred book is missing.

• Conflict: She needs the book or the plan to catfish Lupe’s husband won’t work.

• Action: Dolores casts a spell to locate the book.

• Finish: She finds the book in Carlos’ room.

INT. CARLOS’ ROOM – SAME

Carlos isn’t packing. He’s on his bed, flipping through Dolores’ book. Dolores barges into his room, warning him that stealing this sacred book will curse him. Carlos scoffs and says curses only work if you believe in them. Dolores narrows her eyes, suspicious of her grandson. How much does he know? And should she reverse the curse? Furious, Dolores snatches the book from Carlos and warns him to stay away from her altar or next time she won’t reverse the curse. Carlos rolls his eyes as Dolores storms out of the room with her book.

• Start: Dolores barges into Carlos’ room.

• Challenging Situation: Carlos has been cursed because he stole the Book of Secrets.

• Conflict: Dolores doesn’t know how much Carlos knows and must decide whether to reverse the curse.

• Action: Dolores takes the book from Carlos and tells him to stay away from her altar.

• Finish: She storms out of his room with her book.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – SAME

Jake SLAMS the front door and heads toward garage. Walking toward his car he realizes he forgot his suitcase. Shit! For a moment he wonders if he should go back in. When he realizes his speech is inside his suitcase, he rushes back inside to face the wrath of Lupe. When he enters the bedrom, he finds all of his clothes on the floor. Furious, Jake throws everything into his suitcase and rushes out of the room without saying goodbye.

• Start: Jake is going on his trip.

• Challenging Situation: He is defying his wife.

• Conflict: He forgets his suitcase and must face the wrath of Lupe, who is threatening to divorce him if he leaves, which is an idle threat and he knows it.

• Action: Jake goes upstairs and finds all his clothes on the floor.

• Finish: Jake throws everything into his suitcase and leaves without saying goodbye.

INT. GARAGE – SAME

Jake tries to start his car, but it is dead. Pounding his hands on the steering wheel, Jake screams. Looking at his watch he realizes he is running late for his flight. He gets out and opens Lupe’s car, starts up the engine, clicks the remote, backs out, closes garage door, and drives away.

• Start: Jake enters garage and clicks remote.

• Challenging Situation: Car won’t start.

• Conflict: He is late for his flight.

• Action: He takes Lupe’s car.

• Finish: He closes garage door and drives away.

Turning point: Jake ignores Lupe’s divorce threats and leaves for conference.

Act 2:

INT. JAKE’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

The TV is blaring with news that Tropical Storm Lupe is growing stronger. Lupe and Dolores fight over the volume on the TV set. Dolores says she can barely hear it. Lupe takes the remote from Dolores, because the blaring volume is giving her a headache. Dolores slaps Lupe and tells her to go to fuck herself. Lupe rubs her cheek as Dolores leaves with the remote in her hand.

• Start: Lupe and Dolores are watching the storm report on the TV.

• Challenging Situation: They fight over the volume.

• Conflict: Lupe takes the remote from Dolores.

• Action: Dolores slaps Lupe and insults her in Spanish.

• Finish: Lupe rubs her cheek as Dolores walks away.

INT. DOLORES’ BEDROOM – SAME

Dolores storms up to her room and SLAMS the door, taking care to lock it to avoid intruders. She opens her closet, exposing an elaborate altar. She chants in Spanish as she lights several candles and places an offering of flower, fruit, and rum on her altar. Dolores opens her book of secrets. If she reverses the curse, Carlos will be the new ower of the book, thereby inheriting the book’s power. Unwilling to share or give her power away, Dolores’ eyes grow dark as she chants in Spanish and curses Lupe instead.

• Start: An angry Dolores walls herself up in her room.

• Challenging Situation: She must decide whether to remove the curse on her grandson.

• Conflict: If she does that he could inherit the book’s power.

• Action: Dolores approaches her altar and lights several candles and places an offering of flowers, fruit, and rum on the altar.

• Finish: Dolores chants in Spanish and curses Lupe instead, while leaving Carlos cursed for now.

INT. MARCO’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Marco and Lupe have sex. During sex they discuss plans to liquidate Jake and Lupe’s shared accounts and for Marco to contact the movers to clear out the house. They don’t have much time and must act quickly. As Marco is calling the movers, he pushes Lupe down under the covers, so she can give him a blow job. [Later it will be revealed that Marco and Lupe are cousins who Dolores paired up so she could use their combined incestual energies to create a powerful hex on her daughter.]

• Start: Marco and Lupe discuss plans to steal from Jake during sex.

• Challenging Situation: Lupe and Marco must work quickly.

• Conflict: A powerful tropical storm is headed their way and they are running out of time.

• Action: They finalize their plans as Lupe has multiple orgasms.

• Finish: Lupe gives Marco a blow job while Marco calls the movers.

Turning point: Lupe sets the plan to rob and frame Jake in motion.

Act 3:

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY

News reports Tropical Storm Lupe is building momentum and growing stronger. 24-foot swells are predicted and roads are closing due to flooding. Lupe rushes everyone to pack as Dolores watches the news with the TV blaring. Choosing her battles, Lupe decides to go upstairs and start packing.They have 24 hours to pack up and leave. Marco calls. He can’t find movers. Lupe asks Dolores to locate some movers. Still miffed at her daughter, Dolores tell Lupe to find them herself.

• Start: Tropical storm is growing stronger and more sinister than predicted.

• Challenging Situation: Roads are closing. They have one day to pack and haul ass out of there.

• Conflict: Marco is having trouble finding movers.

• Action: Lupe rushes upstairs and tells her mother to locate some movers.

• Finish: Dolores, still miffed over the TV battle, tells Lupe to find them herself.

INT. JAKE’S HOME OFFICE – DAY

Marco walks into Jake’s office and sticks a thumb drive into Jake’s computer. He has five tries to guess the password. If he guesses wrong, the house alarm will sound, and the police will arrive within minutes. A clever program Carlos created for his stepdad. Marco is sweating with each missed try. On his last try, he looks up at Jake’s diploma. Graduation date? He types in the month day and year as one word lowercase and he’s in. The wind is growing stronger and the windows are shaking. Marco redirects a child pornography site on the dark web and redirects it to Jake’s IPS. He also uploads X-rated picks of naked kids to frame him as a pedophile and then creates a folder of additional incriminating photos on his desktop. Marco opens up Jake’s inbox and sees a barrage of sex trafficking emails from eager customers.

• Start: Marco walks into Jake’s office.

• Challenging Situation: Marco only has five tries to guess his password.

• Conflict: They are running out of time. Storm is getting worse.

• Action: Marco gets in on the last try.

• Finish: Marco hacks a child sex trafficking site and redirects it to Jake’s IPS. He also uploads X-rated pics of naked kids to frame him as a pedophile and creates a folder of additional incriminating photos on his desktop. His inbox is teeming with emails of eager customers.

INT. DOLORES’ ROOM – DAY

Tropical Storm Lupe has turned into a Category 4 hurricane, damaging most of the Bahamas. It continues to grow in speed and intensity. Dolores isn’t packed. Instead she inspects her santeria shit calmly while everyone else is rushing. She is more focused on the lit candles on her altar than packing. She is about to cast a spell to release Carlos from the curse, when she hears a knock at the door.

• Start: Dolores

• Challenging Situation: Tropical Storm Lupe has turned into a Category 4 hurricane and is growing in speed and intensity.

• Conflict: Dolores isn’t packed.

• Action: Dolores casts a spell to release Carlos from the curse.

• Finish: Lupe knocks on the door to harass Dolors.

INT. BANK – DAY

Lupe rushes into a bank, heart racing but trying to appear calm as she approaches a teller. She is dressed to the nines in a Channel suit and matching bag. She approaches a teller who initially smiles but then scowls when Lupe mentions she wants to empty all of her joint accounts, which contains millions. Lupe is panicking and asks to speak to the branch manager. The manager also resists and Lupe threatens to call her lawyer unless they give her what she wants. She is speaking in a loud tone. To keep customers calms and Lupe quiet, the manager gives the teller the go-ahead and the teller hands her bags of cash.

• Start: Lupe enters the bank and approaches a teller.

• Challenging Situation: The bank is resisting emptying all of the accounts, which hold millions.

• Conflict: Lupe is running out of time.

• Action: Lupe threatens to call her lawyer

• Finish: Lupe walks out with all of Jake’s money. In cash.

INT. BEAUTY SUPPLY STORE – SAME

Lupe rushes into the store and starts tossing hair dye, clippers, makeup, clippers, and scissors into her basket. The shelves are practically bare. The is a wig Lupe has an eye on, but a customer grabs it before Lupe can. They get into an altercation and play tug of war with the wig. Lupe lets go of the wig and the woman falls flat on her ass. Dolores laughs and snatches the wig from the injured woman, taking care to step on her hand with her stilletos as she heads to the register.

• Start: Lupe shops for disguises for the family.

• Challenging Situation: The store is crowded and is limited in supplies.

• Conflict: Dolores gets into an altercation with a customer over the last wig.

• Action: Dolores plays tug of war with the customer and lets go of the wig and the woman falls flat on her ass.

• Finish: Dolores kicks the woman and snatches the wig.

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY

Marco arrives with a team of movers. When they walk to the front door, Marco notices they are tipsy. He yells at them for coming to work drunk and shoves them on the lawn, since they are useless. Marco enlists Carlos and Mikey to load the truck. The boys need convincing as Marco burns time begging them to help. With an hour and counting, they need to move FAST. Lupe shows up with burner phones, bags of money, and disguises. She drops them on the marble floor and inspects the empty house, pleased. The only items left are Jake’s clothes (left in the closet and on the bedroom floor), his office furniture, and office computer.

• Start: Marco lets the movers inside.

• Challenging Situation: They have 1 hour to pack up and leave.

• Conflict: The movers are drunk.

• Action: Marco rounds up the boys and makes them help.

• Finish: Lupe shows up with burner phones and disguises.

Turning point: Lupe robs Jake and prepares for escape.

Act 4:

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY

Marco starts to board up the office windows to protect the incriminating evidence. Unfortunately, the drunk movers called a cab earlier and left with most of the wood. Out of time, Lupe and the kids start carrying suitcases downstairs. All the main roads are closed and the winds are blowing hard. Debris and branches blow across the lawn, with one large branch hitting their dining room window, causing Lupe to jump. Lupe yells at Marco for hiring a bunch of drunks and then hands him a burner phone and snatches his other one before he can comment.

• Start: Marco boards up window in office to protect the computer and evidence.

• Challenging Situation: They are out of time. More roads are closing. The winds are blowing hard. Debris and lawn furniture are blowing across the yard.

• Conflict: The movers left with most of the wood.

• Action: He boards up as much of the office windows as he can.

• Finish: Lupe yells at Marco for hiring a bunch of drunks and then hands him a burner phone and snatches his other phone out of his hands before he can comment.

INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY

At an out-of-state hotel, Jake unpacks his suitcase and answers a knock at the door. It is an attractive woman, smiling. As Jake opens the door, his phone rings. It’s Lupe calling to keep up the front so he doesn’t suspect anything. Jake shushes the woman who greets Jake with an eager “hi…” Jake lies and tells Lupe it’s the TV and says he has to go for drinks with the other conference attendees and hangs up. Lupe keeps calling while Jake kisses the woman on her neck, savoring every inch of her as each call goes to voicemail and beeps. Annoyed, Jake turns his phone off and tosses it across the room as he pulls the woman closer to him and the bed.

• Start: Jake at hotel, unpacking suitcase.

• Challenging Situation: Lupe calls Jake to keep up the front so he doesn’t suspect anything as a woman knocks on his hotel room door.

• Conflict: Jake is having an affair with a doctor from the conference and tries to explain the knock to Lupe.

• Action: Lupe keeps calling. Jake turns his phone off.

• Finish: Jake and the doctor have sex.

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY

Lupe is stressed out, because it’s time to go and she can’t control Jake and or her mother who is casting spells in her bedroom when they need to go. NOW. Lupe barges into her mother’s room, furious to see Dolores hasn’t even packed. Lupe starts opening drawers and tossing clothes into Dolores’ suitcase. Dolores yells at Lupe and says the suitcase is for her book and candles as they fight in Spanish over the fact that she isn’t even packed.

• Start: Lupe barges into her mother’s bedroom.

• Challenging Situation: Dolores is pissed at Lupe.

• Conflict: She still hasn’t packed her clothes.

• Action: Lupe starts tossing clothes into Dolores’ suitcase.

• Finish: Dolores yells at Lupe. They fight over why she isn’t packed.

INT. HOTEL CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

Jake walks into the great room with his briefcase, confident. When he gets to the stage, he sets his briefcase down and opens it on an adjacent chair. Flummoxed, it is not where he left it in the top pocket. He fumbles through the briefcase, frantic. Nothing. But then he notices a lump under a notepad and finds a pile of shredded papers. His speech! There are hundreds of hospital adminstrators in the audience from prestigious hospitals, scouting speakers to work at their hospitals for higher pay. Jake left his laptop at home and is going to have to wing it. He’s not very good at winging it. People start leaving in droves, including the hospital administrators. His mistress is one of the few people left by the time he gives up and turns off the mic.

• Start: Jake is about to give his keynote speech.

• Challenging Situation: Jake reaches into his briefcase and discovers Lupe has ripped up his printed speech. There are hospital administrators in the audience from prestigious hospitals, scouting speakers to convice speakers to work at their hospitals for higher pay.

• Conflict: He doesn’t have his laptop or any other notes.

• Action: Jake fumbles through his speech in front of a large audience.

• Finish: People start leaving in droves, including the hospital administrators.

EXT. JAKE’S HOUSE – SAME

The wind is growing louder, branches and lawn chairs are blowing across the yard. The remaining neighbors have left days ago. Lupe tosses everyone’s cell phones into the bushes and one flies back and slaps her in the face. Lupe screams and then storms inside and hands out burner phones to Dolores and the kids. Marco gets in the moving truck and everyone else follows Lupe to the garage, but her car isn’t there! Furious, Lupe tries to start Jake’s car, and it’s dead. After screaming and pounding her hands on the steering wheel, Lupe calls Marco to help. Marco, halfway down the street, has to manuever the awkward truck, as they waste more time and the rain and winds grow heavier. He tries to jump start the car with the truck, but there are no cables in the back of Lupe’s car. Lupe and Dolores fight over how stupid Lupe is.

• Start: Lupe collects everyone’s cell phones and hands out burners to her mother and kids.

• Challenging Situation: Lupe’s car is missing.

• Conflict: They have to get out NOW.

• Action: Lupe tries to start Jake’s car, and it’s dead.

• Finish: Lupe pounds the steering wheel and screams.

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – SAME

Jake plays the devoted husband and calls to check on the family. All of his calls go to voicemail. Marco calls from the car rental place with bad news. There are no rental cars and only three fit in the moving truck. Lupe screams and gets into a fight with Marco over the phone about how useless he is. She hangs up and tells him to hurry up.

• Start: Marco calls with bad news.

• Challenging Situation: There are no rental cars.

• Conflict: Only three fit in the moving truck.

• Action: Lupe screams and gets into a fight with Marco on her burner phone.

• Finish: Lupe tells Marco to hurry and hangs up.

EXT. JAKE’S DRIVEWAY – LATER

Marco returns with the moving trck. The wind is so strong, he can barely open the driver’s side door. Lupe rushes everyone in the moving truck, packing them in like sardines. Dolores is the last one in. Before she gets in the van, she looks up at the dark sky and smiles. Marco tries to back out, but with everyone packed in, he can’t shift gears. Lupe tells Dolores to get her fat ass in the cargo area of the truck. Dolores kicks the boys out of the truck, in the hailing rain, as Marco opens the cargo door. Lupe and Dolores fight in Spanish over the situation.

• Start: Marco is dropped off at Jake’s house.

• Challenging Situation: The wind is so strong, he can barely up the driver’s side door.

• Conflict: He can’t shift gears with everyone packed in so tightly.

• Action: Lupe tells Dolores to get her fat ass in the cargo area of the truck.

• Finish: Dolores kicks the boys out of the truck, forcing them to ride cargo. Another argument ensues.

INT. MIKEY’S ROOM – SAME

Mikey’s closet door is open, a snake slithers out of a terrarium and glides across the room. With a closer look we see it is a black mamba that he forgot to pack. If the snake kills Jake, it will foil Lupe’s plans. Moving slowly, the snake moves quietly to the door of his room and proceeds to slither down the hall, heading toward the stairs.

• Start: Snake hisses as it moves across the room.

• Challenging Situation: It’s a black mamba.

• Conflict: If Jake dies, it will foil Lupe’s plans.

• Action: Snake exits room and heads toward the hall.

• Finish: Snake slowly slithers down the stairs.

EXT. HWY – LATER

I-75 is a parking lot. A LONG stretch of cars are trying to escape the wrath of Hurricane Lupe, which is now predicted to turn into a Category 5 hurricane and hit land by midnight. Hail pummels the cars as one hydroplanes its way into a ditch. Frustrated, Lupe yells at Marco to hurry. With no other recourse, Marco slowly moves his way over to the shoulder and starts passing all of the cars. A cop spots them and starts to chase after their truck. Marco freaks out. His license was suspended and he could get arrested. Lupe tells him to shut up and drive faster. Marco speeds up and spots another car in front of them. Because of the slippery road, when Marco slams on his brakes to avoid colliding into another car riding on the shoulder, he skids off the shoulder, almost toppling the truck. The officer catches up with them and arrests Marco for reckless driving and driving with a suspended license. Lupe is forced to take over and struggles to get back on the highway as she awkwardly tries to handle the truck, whose wheels are spinning in the mud. She pounds the steering wheel and gets out of the driver’s seat, opens the cargo door, and commands the boys and Dolores to push her out of the mud. Dolores refuses to help, forcing Lupe to get wet and muddy, along with the boys. After much effort and wasted time, they get back on the shoulder. Lupe closes the boys back in the cargo and shushes Dolores before she can complain further.

Turning point: Lupe and family leave. Tropical storm Lupe predicted to turn into a Category 5 hurricane and hit land by the middle of the night.

• Start: Marco driving on shoulder to get out of town fast.

• Challenging Situation: The cops are after them. The hurricane is coming.

• Conflict: Marco doesn’t have a license and is struggling to stay on the road because of the strong winds.

• Action: He tries to speed up and skids off the road, almost toppling the truck.

• Finish: The officer arrests Marco for reckless driving. Lupe is forced to take over, struggling to handle the truck.

Act 5:

INT. POSH HOTEL – DAY

Lupe and her family are out of state in a very nice hotel. Everyone except Mikey has changed their appearance. Marco tosses large, sealed envelopes are on the bed, informing them these are their new identities. Lupe walks the room, inspecting everyone. Mikey still looks like Mikey, and he refuses to dye his hair and eyebrows blonde and get a buzz cut. Mikey is built like a bull. He is the muscle of the operation and Lupe cannot overpower him. When Mikey is caught off guard, Marco holds Mikey in a headlock. A fight ensues. Marco wins the fight as Lupe shaves her sons head as he weeps on the floor. Marco tells him it’s time to dye his hair. Mikey stands up, looks at himself in the mirror, and shatters the glass with his fist.

• Start: Lupe investigates everyone.

• Challenging Situation: Mikey refuses to change his appearance.

• Conflict: He is stronger than Lupe.

• Action: Marco holds Mikey in a headlock while Lupe shaves his head.

• Finish: Mikey looks at himself in the mirror and shatters the mirror with his fist.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – NIGHT

Days after the conference, Jake pulls into the neighborhood, shocked by all the damage Hurricane Lupe left in her wake. As he pulls into his driveway, he notices his garage door has been torn off and several windows have been broken. He pulls into his garage and notices his car is still there. A mixture of dread and relief come over him. She’s still there. Or so he thinks. When he walks inside, he calls for his family. No one is there. Not only that. The power is out! He sets his suitcase down and fumbles in the utility drawer in the kitchen for a flashlight. It’s empty. He looks up. His entire house is empty! He tries calling Lupe several times, each call going straight to voicemail. With the dim light from his cell phone, he searches frantically from room to room. From what he can see, everything is empty, save for his office. He storms upstairs, using the railing for leverage and just misses stepping on Mikey’s snake. The snake hisses as Jake rushes by.

• Start: Jake enters house.

• Challenging Situation: No one is home. House is empty.

• Conflict: He tries calling Lupe, but it goes straight to voicemail.

• Action: He storms upstairs, nearly stepping on the snake.

• Finish: The snake hisses while Jake inspects the upstairs.

INT. POSH HOTEL – NIGHT

Marco arrives with Chinese food. Mikey, still pissed, refuses to eat. As the rest of the family is eating, Mikey smiles and tells everyone he left Negrito, the black mamba, back at the house. Lupe gasps as she realizes this could ruin everything. As he and Lupe are arguing, Dolores slaps Mikey hard across the face, chastizing him for potentially ruining everything. Mikey back away and picks up his burner phone and threatens to call the cops. Lupe tells him to stop being a child and to put his phone away. Mikey refuses. Marco stands up and glares at Mikey. He looks toward Lupe for permission. Lupe closes her eyes and nods quickly. Marco gets up and bodyslams Mikey and proceeds to beat the living shit out of him. Holding him by the throat, nearly strangling him, Marco says he will kill him if he ever pulls that shit again. With his eyes bulging and face reddening, Mikey nods and Marco releases his grip while Mikey coughs, lying wounded on the floor.

• Start: Marco arrives with dinner.

• Challenging Situation: Mikey threatens to call the cops on them.

• Conflict: Lupe is forced to choose between her lover andher son.

• Action: Mikey picks up his cell phone and is about to dial.

• Finish: Marco tackles him to the floor and beats the crap out of him and threatens to kill him if he calls the cops.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – NIGHT

Jake calls Lupe again, but the call all go to voicemail. Jake takes a moment to think things through. Pacing across the floor, the starts talking to himself. If he calls the police, they will find the family. Does he really want Lupe back? But then there’s Carlos, who’s a real smart kid with a good head on his shoulders. He wants to make sure the kid’s OK. Plus all his stuff. What the fuck happened there? Was he looted? Without a second though, he calls the police to report a robbery and his missing family. With the power still out, Jake is alone in the house with a deadly snake he knows nothing about.

• Start: Jake tries to reach family.

• Challenging Situation: No one’s picking up their phones.

• Conflict: Jake is conflicted. He hated Lupe, Mikey, and Dolores but is concerned for Carlos.

• Action: Jake calls police to report a robbery and his missing family.

• Finish: The power goes out. Jake is alone in the house with a deadly snake.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – LATER

There is a loud knock at the door. Unable to see, Jake asks who it is. When the police announce themselves, he opens the door. With all the lights out, the cops use their flashlights. Jake is relieved they have arrived. He explains what happened: the fight, the conference, the unanswered voicemails. He tries to give them photos of the family to place on TV so they can find his mising family. Disinterested in the photos, the police, who were tipped off by one of the drunk movers, walk right into Jake’s office and head straight to his computer. While the police inspect his office, Jake thinks for clues, he texts a photo of his family to a local TV station.

• Start: Jakes answers the knock at the door.

• Challenging Situation: All the lights are out, so the police have to use flashlights.

• Conflict: The police are more interested in Jake than his missing stuff or family.

• Action: Jake explains what happened. The fight. The conference. The voicemails.

Finish: The police walk into Jake’s office, heading for his computer. While the police in his office, Jake texts a photo of his family to a local TV station.

INT. POSH HOTEL – NIGHT

Full from dinner and tired from the day’s drama, the family watches TV. A news bulletin flashes. A photo of Lupe and family appears and newscaster says they are missing. Shit! Jake just inadvertently made their escape more difficult. They are on the lam and do not want to be discovered. The family starts packing. Marco calls one of his workers to confirm the furniture has been taken to the warehouse before they peel out of the parking lot in Lupe’s new car.

• Start: Lupe and family are watching TV.

• Challenging Situation: Their photos appear on the news.

• Conflict: They are on the lam and fear being discovered, even with disguises.

• Action: They start packing.

• Finish: They peel out of the parking lot in Lupe’s new car.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – NIGHT

As the police look through Jake’s computer, Jake is confused, because the police do not seem interested in the robbery or his family, but rather his computer and what’s on it. He asks them why they are so focused on his computer, and one of the officers starts questioning Jake about the images of naked children and sex trafficking websites he created. Jake refuses to answer. This is bullshit. What the fuck is happening? Jake says he wants his lawyer. One of the officers cuffs Jake while reading him his Miranda rights as the other officer calls the CI team to come and bag the computer and take it to the lab for further searches.

• Start: Police snoop in Jake’s office.

• Challenging Situation: Jake has been framed for sex trafficking and pedophilia.

• Conflict: He is innocent and a pediatrician. This could ruin him.

• Action: The police start asking Jake probing questions.

• Finish: Jake refuses to answer and is arrested on the spot.

Turning point: Jake is investigated and arrested by police for posession and dissemination of child porn and running a child sex trafficking ring.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Scene Requirements

What I learned: Looking at the structure of each scene showed me where I needed to make the scenes more interesting. As I was doing so, new/better ideas surfaced. I also discovered some holes and created a few new scenes and some errors with the timeline. So grateful to have done this exercise.

Teaser

INT. PRIESTESS CHAMBERS INSIDE THE COMPOUND OF SINOLOA CARTEL LORD – NIGHT

A young Dolores is cleaning the shrine of the cartel’s santeria priestess, Maya, as the priestess is preparing a spell. Dolores accidentally spills ceremonial wine on the cover of the sacred Book of Spirits. Maya chastises Dolores and hands her the sacred tome, commanding her to clean it immediately.

Start: Dolores cleaning shrine.
Challenging Situation: Dolores spills wine on the
sacred book of secrets.
Conflict: She has just tainted the book and angered the
cartel’s witch and now Dolores’ life could be in danger.
Action: Maya, the witch/santeria commands Dolores to
clean the sacred tome and to not bring it back until there is not one drop
of wine on the pages.
Finish: Dolores rushes out of the priestess chambers
with the tome.

INT. DRUG LAB OF SINOLOA CARTEL LORD – SAME

Dolores’ husband, Hector, is packaging bricks of heroin in the lab. One of the cartel members interrupts him to check an inventory error.

Start: Hector is packaging bricks of heroin.
Challenging Situation: Cartel captain approaches Hector
and accuses him of skimming heroin.
Conflict: Hector must prove his innocence.
Action: Cartel captain roughs Hector up.
Finish: Captain leaves Hector beaten to a pulp on the floor.

INT. PRIESTESS CHAMBERS – SAME

When Dolores returns with the cleaned book, Maya is nowhere to be found. Dolores feels a gentle pulsation from the book and looks up when she hears bottles rattling and observes one of the potion bottles release smoke. Frightened, she heads upstairs, forgetting to leave the book on the altar.

Start: Dolores returns with book.
Challenging Situation: Book connects with Dolores
energetically, claiming her as the new owner. Dolores does not know what
to make of the purple smoke coming from the book. It frightens her.
Conflict: She is mesmerized by the Book of Secrets, a
book that belongs to the cartel’s priestess, and when she tries to place
it on the altar, it refuses to be set down.
Action: Bottles rattle on the shelves, purple smoke emanates
from the book. Dolores sets the book on the altar and turns around and the
book flies in the air and hits her on the back.
Finish: Dolores hurriedly leaves with the book, instead
of leaving it on the altar as instructed.

INT. MEETING CHAMBER IN COMPOUND OF SINOLOA CARTEL – NIGHT

The boss and captains are seated around an ornate table. Some conversation about shipments, who’s doing what. Any problems. Solutions. Competitors. New tunnel being made with Maya’s help, etc.

Start: Cartel meeting with head of cartel.
Challenging Situation: One of the captains mentions one
of the workers is stealing heroin (Hector).
Conflict: Hector is family. The head of the cartel must
decide whether to spare Hector or have him executed.
Action: The head of Cartel stands up and tells his
second in command to decide.
Finish: The members of the cartel take a vote, and
Hector is toast.

INT. BEDROOM OF DOLORES AND HECTOR – NIGHT

Dolores pores over the book, relishing each page. When Hector inquires, she just shrugs and says it’s some old book she found while cleaning. Hector pulls the book toward him and realizes what she holds. He warns her of the curse and Dolores says she cannot be curse because the book was handed to her, not stolen.

While Hector is sleeping, Dolores continues to read the book.

Dolores, realizing the power of the book, wakes Hector up.

They go to the laundry room and put on soiled clothes from the guards.

Dolores stuffs the pants into her boots and Hector helps her roll up the sleeves on her shirt.

Start: A wounded Hector rushes into the bedroom.
Challenging Situation: He tries to convince Dolores to
leave with him.
Conflict: Dolores wants to stay.
Action: Hector tries to force Dolores to come with him.
Finish: The book’s magic throws Hector to the ground.
Dolores, has a change of heart and picks him up.

EXT. COMPOUND OF SINOLOA CARTEL LORD – NIGHT

Several armed guards stand watch. Dolores and Hector approach the guards and nod.

Once they pass and head toward the gate, one of the guards grows suspicious and yells. Dolores and Hector run. The book opens to an invisibility spell and Dolores vanishes in a puff of smoke. Instead of helping Hector, Dolores leaves him to be gunned down by the guards, running down a dirt road we see a shimmer that soon disappers into the night. [He could haunt Dolores during the series and Dolores, who is carrying the drug lord’s baby, uses Hector as leverage against Lupe who has been led to believe Hector is in a Sinoloan prison and once they raise $20M, he will be released, unharmed. Lupe, is even more ruthless than Dolores as she has cartel blood running through her icy veins.

Start: Hector and Dolores steal soiled guard uniforms
from the laundry room.
Challenging Situation: They must escape the compound,
which is heavily armed.
Conflict: Dolores doesn’t want to leave. The guards
question Dolores and Hector, who state they were told to patrol the
exterior grounds.
Action: The guards recognize Dolores and Hector and
cock their guns.
Finish: Hector and Dolores make a run for it. The book
protects Dolores with a thick cloud of smoke, but Hector is shot. Dolores
looks back and keeps running, leaving her dead husband behind.

Act 1

INT. JAKE’S HOME – DAY

The news is on and Jake is having breakfast with the family and dismisses threat of hurricane.

Start: Jake having breakfast with family.
Challenging Situation: Category 3 hurricane predicted.
Conflict: Jake has to travel to a medical conference,
as he is a keynote speaker.
Action: Jake gets up from the table, dismissing the
threat.
Finish: Lupe follows him upstairs, shouting expletives
in Spanish.

INT. JAKE AND LUPE’S BEDROOM – SAME

Jake and Lupe fight over the conference he is going to.

Start: Jake and Lupe fight.
Challenging Situation: Jake wants to leave. Lupe wants
him to stay, or so we think.
Conflict: Jake ignores Lupe’s pleas, which further enrages
her.
Action: Jake packs his suitcase as Lupe belittles him.
Finish: Jake walks out while Lupe is still yelling,
without his suitcase.

INT. DOLORE’S BEDROOM – SAME

Dolores smiles as she hears Jake and Lupe argue then opens closet door to expose a santeria altar. She lights a black candle and chants something in Spanish.

Start: Dolores approaches her altar and reaches for her
book of secrets.
Challenging Situation: The sacred book is missing.
Conflict: She needs the book or the plan to catfish Lupe’s
husband won’t work.
Action: Dolores casts a spell to locate the book.
Finish: She finds the book in the kids’ room.

INT. CARLOS’ ROOM – SAME

Carlos isn’t packing. He’s reading Dolores’ book.

Start: Dolores barges into Carlos’ room.
Challenging Situation: Carlos has been cursed because
he stole the Book of Secrets.
Conflict: Dolores doesn’t know how much Carlos knows
and must decide whether to reverse the curse.
Action: Dolores takes the book from Carlos and tells
him to stay away from her altar.
Finish: She storms out of his room with her book.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – SAME

Jake SLAMS front door and heads toward garage.

Start: Jake is going on his trip.
Challenging Situation: He is defying his wife.
Conflict: He forgets his suitcase and must face the
wrath of Lupe, who is threatening to divorce him if he leaves, which is an
idle threat and he knows it.
Action: Jake goes upstairs and finds all his clothes on
the floor.
Finish: Jake throws everything into his suitcase and
leaves without saying goodbye.

EXT. GARAGE DOOR – SAME

Jake clicks remote, closes garage door, then drives away.

Start: Jake enters garage and clicks remote.
Challenging Situation: Car won’t start.
Conflict: He is late for his flight.
Action: He takes Lupe’s car.
Finish: He closes garage door and drives away.

Turning point: Jake ignores Lupe’s divorce threats and leaves for conference.

Act 2:

INT. JAKE’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

The TV is blaring with news that Tropical Storm Lupe is growing stronger. Lupe and Dolores fight over the volume.

Start: Lupe and Dolores are watching the storm report
on the TV.
Challenging Situation: They fight over the volume.
Conflict: Lupe takes the remote from Dolores.
Action: Dolores slaps Lupe and insults her in Spanish.
Finish: Lupe rubs her cheek as Dolores walks away.

INT. DOLORES’ BEDROOM – SAME

Dolores storms up to her room and SLAMS the door. She opens her closet, exposing an elaborate altar. She chants in Spanish as she lights several candles and places an offering of flower, fruit and rum on her altar.

Start: An angry Dolores walls herself up in her room.
Challenging Situation: She must decide whether to remove
the curse on her grandson.
Conflict: If she does that he could inherit the book’s
power.
Action: Dolores approaches her altar and lights several
candles and places an offering of flowers, fruit, and rum on the altar.
Finish: Dolores chants in Spanish and curses Lupe instead,
while leaving Carlos cursed for now.

INT. MARCO’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Marco and Lupe have sex. Afterwards they discuss plans to liquidate Jake and Lupe’s shared accounts and for Marco to contact the movers.

Start: Marco and Lupe discuss plans to steal from Jake.
Challenging Situation: Lupe and Marco must work quickly.
Conflict: A powerful tropical storm is headed their way
and they are running out of time.
Action: They finalize their plans.
Finish: Lupe leaves while Marco calls the movers.

Turning point: Lupe sets the plan to rob and frame Jake in motion.

Act 3:

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY

News reports Tropical Storm Lupe is building momentum. 24-foot swells are predicted. Lupe rushes everyone to pack.

Start: Tropical storm is growing stronger and more
sinister than predicted.
Challenging Situation: Roads are closing. They have one
day to pack and haul ass out of there.
Conflict: Marco is having trouble finding movers.
Action: Lupe rushes upstairs and tells her mother to
locate some movers.
Finish: Dolores, still miffed over the TV battle, tells
Lupe to find them herself.

INT. JAKE’S HOME OFFICE – DAY

Marco walks into Jake’s office and sticks a thumb drive into Jake’s computer.

Start: Marco walks into Jake’s office.
Challenging Situation: Marco only has five tries to
guess his password.
Conflict: They are running out of time. Storm is
getting worse.
Action: Marco gets in on the last try.
Finish: Marco hacks a child sex trafficking site and
redirects it to Jake’s IPS. He also uploads X-rated pics of naked kids to
frame him as a pedophile and creates a folder of additional incriminating
photos on his desktop. His inbox is teeming with emails of eager
customers.

INT. DOLORES’ ROOM – DAY

Dolores packs santeria shit calmly while everyone else is rushing. She is more focused on the lit candles on her altar than packing.

Start: Dolores
Challenging Situation: Tropical Storm Lupe has turned
into a Category 4 hurricane and is growing in speed and intensity.
Conflict: Dolores isn’t packed.
Action: Dolores casts a spell to release Carlos from
the curse.
Finish: She beings to calmly dismantle her altar.

INT. BANK – DAY

Lupe empties all of her joint accounts.

Start: Lupe enters the bank and approaches a teller.
Challenging Situation: The bank is resisting emptying
all of the accounts, which hold millions.
Conflict: Lupe is running out of time.
Action: Lupe works her charm and convinces the teller
to transfer all the funds to “their” new account.
Finish: Lupe walks out with all of Jake’s money.

INT. BEAUTY SUPPLY STORE – SAME

Lupe purchases hair dye, clippers, scissors, wigs, makeup, etc.

Start: Lupe shops for disguises for the family.
Challenging Situation: The store is crowded and is
limited in supplies.
Conflict: Dolores gets into an altercation with a
customer over the last wig.
Action: Dolores plays tug of war with the customer and
lets go of the wig and the woman falls flat on her ass.
Finish: Dolores kicks the woman and snatches the wig.

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY

Marco arrives with a team of movers who clear out the house FAST. The only items left are Jake’s clothes (left in closet and on bedroom floor), his office furniture, and computer.

Start: Marco lets the movers inside.
Challenging Situation: They have 1 hour to pack up and
leave.
Conflict: The movers are drunk.
Action: Marco rounds up the boys and makes them help.
Finish: Lupe shows up with burner phones and disguises.

Turning point: Lupe robs Jake and prepares for escape.

Act 4:

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY

Marco boards up office windows. Lupe and the kids start carrying suitcases downstairs.

Start: Marco boards up window in office to protect the
computer and evidence.
Challenging Situation: They are out of time. More roads
are closing. The winds are blowing hard. Debris and lawn furniture are
blowing across the yard.
Conflict: The movers left with most of the wood.
Action: He boards up as much of the office windows as
he can.
Finish: Lupe yells at Marco for hiring a bunch of
drunks and then hands him a burner phone and snatches his other phone out
of his hands before he can comment.

INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY

Jake unpacks his suitcase and answers a knock at the door. It is an attractive woman, smiling.

Start: Jake at hotel, unpacking suitcase.
Challenging Situation: Lupe calls Jake to keep up the
front so he doesn’t suspect anything as a woman knocks on his hotel room
door.
Conflict: Jake is having an affair with a doctor from
the conference and tries to explain the knock to Lupe.
Action: Lupe keeps calling. Jake turns his phone off.
Finish: Jake and the doctor have sex.

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY

Lupe is stressed out, because it’s time to go and Dolores is casting spells in her bedroom when they need to go. NOW.

Start: Lupe barges into her mother’s bedroom.
Challenging Situation: Dolores is pissed at Lupe.
Conflict: She still hasn’t packed her clothes.
Action: Lupe starts tossing clothes into Dolores’
suitcase.
Finish: Dolores yells at Lupe. They fight over why she
isn’t packed.

INT. HOTEL CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

Jake gives keynote speech.

Start: Jake is about to give his keynote speech.
Challenging Situation: Jake reaches into his briefcase
and discovers Lupe has ripped up his printed speech. There are hospital
administrators in the audience from prestigious hospitals, scouting speakers
to convice speakers to work at their hospitals for higher pay.
Conflict: He doesn’t have his laptop or any other notes.

Action: Jake fumbles through his speech in front of a
large audience.
Finish: People start leaving in droves, including the
hospital administrators.

EXT. JAKE’S HOUSE – SAME

The wind is growing louder, branches are blowing across the yard. The remaining neighbors are piling into cars and leaving. Lupe tosses everyone’s cell phones into the bushes.

Start: Lupe collects everyone’s cell phones and hands
out burners to her mother and kids.
Challenging Situation: Lupe’s car is missing.
Conflict: They have to get out NOW.
Action: Lupe tries to start Jake’s car, and it’s dead.
Finish: Lupe pounds the steering wheel and screams.

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – SAME

Jake calls to check on the family. Calls go to voicemail. Lupe yells at Dolores to hurry.

Start: Marco calls with bad news.
Challenging Situation: There are no rental cars.
Conflict: Only three fit in the moving truck.
Action: Lupe screams and gets into a fight with Marco
on her burner phone.
Finish: Lupe tells Marco to hurry and hangs up.

EXT. JAKE’S DRIVEWAY – LATER

Lupe rushes everyone in the moving van, packing them in like sardines. Dolores is the last one in. Before she gets in the van, she looks up at the dark sky and smiles.

Start: Marco is dropped off at Jake’s house.
Challenging Situation: The wind is so strong, he can
barely up the driver’s side door.
Conflict: He can’t shift gears with everyone packed in
so tightly.
Action: Lupe tells Dolores to get her fat ass in the cargo
area of the truck.
Finish: Dolores kicks the boys out of the truck,
forcing them to ride cargo. Another argument ensues.

INT. DOLORES’ ROOM – SAME

Closet door open, snake slithers on floor.

Start: Snake hisses as it moves across the room.
Challenging Situation: It’s a black mamba and
programmed to kill Jake.
Conflict: If Jake dies, it will foil Lupe’s plans.
Action: Snake exits room and heads toward the hall.
Finish: Snake slowly slithers down the stairs.

EXT. HWY – LATER

Long stretch of cars leaving. Hail pummels the cars as one hydroplanes its way into a ditch.

Turning point: Lupe and family leave. Tropical storm Lupe predicted to turn into a Category 5 hurricane and hit land by the middle of the night.

Start: Marco driving on shoulder to get out of town
fast.
Challenging Situation: The cops are after them. The hurricane
is coming.
Conflict: Marco doesn’t have a license and is
struggling to stay on the road because of the strong winds.
Action: He tries to speed up and skids off the road, almost
toppling the truck.
Finish: The officer arrests Marco for reckless driving.
Lupe is forced to take over, struggling to handle the truck.

Act 5:

INT. POSH HOTEL – DAY

Lupe and her family are out of state. Everyone except Mikey has changed their appearance. Large sealed envelopes are on the bed.

Start: Lupe investigates everyone.
Challenging Situation: Mikey refuses to get a buzz cut.
Conflict: He is stronger than Lupe.
Action: Marco holds Mikey in a headlock while Lupe
shaves his head.
Finish: Mikey looks at himself in the mirror and shatters
the mirror with his fist.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – NIGHT

Jake comes home to an empty house. He searches frantically from room to room. Everything is empty, save for his office.

Start: Jake enters house.
Challenging Situation: No one is home. House is empty.
Conflict: He tries calling Lupe, but it goes straight
to voicemail.
Action: He storms upstairs, nearly stepping on the
snake.
Finish: The snake hisses while Jake inspects the
upstairs.

INT. POSH HOTEL – NIGHT

Marco beats up Mikey.

Start: Marco arrives with dinner.
Challenging Situation: Mikey threatens to call the cops
on them.
Conflict: Lupe is forced to choose between her lover
andher son.
Action: Mikey picks up his cell phone and is about to
dial.
Finish: Marco tackles him to the floor and beats the
crap out of him and threatens to kill him if he calls the cops.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – NIGHT

Jake calls Lupe again. Call goes to voicemail. Jake calls police to report a robbery and his missing family.

Start: Jake tries to reach family.
Challenging Situation: No one’s picking up their
phones.
Conflict: Jake is conflicted. He hated Lupe, Mikey, and
Dolores but is concerned for Carlos.
Action: Jake calls police to report a robbery and his
missing family.
Finish: The power goes out. Jake is alone in the house
with a deadly snake.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – LATER

The police show up. Jake is relieved. He gives them photos of the family to place on TV so they can find his mising family.

Start: Jakes answers the knock at the door.
Challenging Situation: All the lights are out, so the
police have to use flashlights.
Conflict: The police are more interested in Jake than
his missing stuff or family.
Action: Jake explains what happened. The fight. The
conference. The voicemails.

Finish: The police walk into Jake’s office, heading for his computer. While the police in his office, Jake texts a photo of his family to a local TV station.

INT. POSH HOTEL – NIGHT

A news bulletin flashes. A photo of Lupe and family appears and newscaster says they are missing.

Start: Lupe and family are watching TV.
Challenging Situation: Their photos appear on the news.
Conflict: They are on the lam and fear being discovered,
even with disguises.
Action: They start packing.
Finish: They peel out of the parking lot in Lupe’s new
car.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – NIGHT

Jake is confused because the police do not seem interested in the robbery or his family, but rather his computer and what’s on it.

Start: Police snoop in Jake’s office.
Challenging Situation: Jake has been framed for sex
trafficking and pedophilia.
Conflict: He is innocent and a pediatrician. This could
ruin him.
Action: The police start asking Jake probing questions.
Finish: Jake refuses to answer and calls his lawyer.

Turning point: Jake is investigated by police for posession and dissemination of child porn and running a child sex trafficking ring.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Beat Sheet

What I learned: Working the beat sheet helped me flesh out the acts and to see the flow of the story better. I’m excited to see an outline in the making.

1. Tell us your Show Concept and Inciting Incident: When a pediatrician is bankrupted and framed for possession and dissemination of child porn by his wife, he is sent to an out-of-state prison where he meets another inmate with a similar fate. Realizing they are both married to and framed by the same woman, they hatch a plan to track her down and get even.

2. List your A, B, and C Stories: A story: Jake gets robbed by his wife Lupe and framed for pedophilia. B story: Kids and grandmother. C story: Law enforcement and later on the Sinaloa Cartel.

3. Present your current Beat Sheet with no dialogue.

Surving Lupe Beat Sheet – PILOT

Teaser:

EXT. BAHAMAS – NIGHT

Tropical Storm Lupe destroys houses. Winds howling, branches flying, windows boarded over. Streets flooded.

V.O: Newscaster: Potential of Lupe turning into a Category 5 hurricane when it hits the coast of Florida.

INT. COURT ROOM – DAY

Judge receives verdict from jury foreman. Man is convicted on three counts of pedophila: 1) possession of child pornograph, 2) dissemination of child pornograpy, and 3) running the country’s largest child pornography ring. Judge sentences man to seven years in max security prison. We don’t see who is being cuffed.

V.O.: Newscaster warns all Southern Florida residents to evacuate, in case Lupe increases in power and becomes the worst hurricane to ever touch down in our nation’s history.

Act 1

INT. JAKE’S HOME – DAY

Jake having breakfast with family and dismisses threat of hurricane.

INT. JAKE AND LUPE’S BEDROOM – SAME

Jake and Lupe fight over the conference he is going to.

INT. DOLORE’S BEDROOM – SAME

Dolores smiles as she hears Jake and Lupe argue then opens closet door to expose a santeria altar. She lights a black candle and chants something in Spanish.

INT. KIDS ROOMS – SAME

Carlos and Mikey are packing and fighting over what to take.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – SAME

Jake SLAMS front door and heads toward garage.

EXT. GARAGE DOOR – SAME

Jake clicks remote, closes garage door, then drives away.

Turning point: Jake ignores Lupe’s divorce threats and leaves for conference.

Act 2:

INT. JAKE’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

The TV is blaring with news that Tropical Storm Lupe is growing stronger. Lupe and Dolores fight over the volume.

INT. DOLORES’ BEDROOM – SAME

Dolores storms up to her room and SLAMS the door. She opens her closet, exposing an elaborate altar. She chants in Spanish as she lights several candles and places an offering of flower, fruit and rum on her altar.

INT. MARCO’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Marco and Lupe have sex. Afterwards they discuss plans to liquidate Jake and Lupe’s shared accounts and for Marco to contact the movers.

Turning point: Lupe sets the plan to rob and frame Jake in motion.

Act 3:

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY

News reports Tropical Storm Lupe is building momentum. 24-foot swells are predicted. Lupe rushes everyone to pack.

INT. JAKE’S HOME OFFICE – DAY

Marco walks into Jake’s office and sticks a thumb drive into Jake’s computer.

INT. DOLORES’ ROOM – DAY

Dolores packs santeria shit calmly while everyone else is rushing. She is more focused on the lit candles on her altar than packing.

INT. BANK – DAY

Lupe empties all of her joint accounts.

INT. BEAUTY SUPPLY STORE – SAME

Lupe purchases hair dye, clippers, scissors, wigs, makeup, etc.

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY

Marco arrives with a team of movers who clear out the house FAST. The only items left are Jake’s clothes, his office furniture, and computer.

Turning point: Lupe robs Jake and prepares for escape.

Act 4:

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY

Marco boards up all the windows. Lupe and the kids start carrying suitcases downstairs.

INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY

Jake unpacks his suitcase and answers a knock at the door. It is an attractive woman, smiling.

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY

Lupe is stressed out, because Hurrican Lupe is less than 12 hours away and Dolores is casting spells in her bedroom when they need to go. NOW.

EXT. JAKE’S HOUSE – SAME

The wind is strong, branches are blowing across the yard. Neighbors are piling into cars and leaving. Lupe tosses everyone’s cell phones into the bushes.

INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY

Jake and attractive woman have sex.

INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Jake calls to check on the family. Calls go to voicemail. Lupe yells at Dolores to hurry.

EXT. JAKE’S DRIVEWAY – SAME

Lupe rushes everyone in the van. Dolores is the last one in. Before she gets in the van, she looks up at the dark sky and smiles.

INT. DOLORES’ ROOM – SAME

Closet door open, candles burning wildly on a makeshift altar.

EXT. HWY – NIGHT

Long stretch of cars leaving. Hail pummels the cars as one hydroplanes its way into a ditch.

Turning point: Lupe and family leave. Tropical storm Lupe predicted to turn into a Category 5 hurricane and hit land by the middle of the night.

Act 5:

INT. POSH HOTEL – DAY

Lupe and her family are out of state. Everyone has changed their appearance. Large sealed envelopes are on the bed.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – NIGHT

Jake comes home to an empty house. He searches frantically from room to room. Everything is empty, save for his office.

INT. POSH HOTEL – NIGHT

Marco arrives with dinner.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – NIGHT

Jake calls Lupe. Call goes to voicemail. Jake calls police to report a robbery and his missing family.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – LATER

The police show up. Jake is relieved. He gives them photos of the family to place on TV so they can find his mising family.

INT. POSH HOTEL – NIGHT

Lupe and family are watching the news. Hurricane Lupe did extensive damage in Florida and is making her way up the Eastern Seaboard. Dolores retires to her suite, opens her suitcase, creates an altar on her nightstand, then places a call from her burner phone.

INT. JAKE’S HOME – NIGHT

Jake is confused because the police do not seem interested in the robbery or his family, but rather his computer and what’s on it.

While the police are searching his office, Jake texts a photo of his family to a local TV station.

INT. POSH HOTEL – NIGHT

A news bulletin flashes. A photo of Lupe and family appears and newscaster says they are missing and that he has been robbed.

Turning point: Jake is investigated by police for posession and dissemination of child porn.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Setting Up the Future

What I learned: It was helpful to list the character reveals and subtext to set up the series in the pilot. I hadn’t thought about setting things up, bit by bit. But it makes total sense. You need to set up before you reveal. I was able to go back and revise a few things to avoid revealing too much in the pilot, while still keeping it engaging.

Surviving Lupe Pilot Outline

Teaser: Tropical Storm Lupe destroys houses in the Bahamas. Winds howling, branches flying, windows boarded over. Streets flooded. Voiceover of potential of Lupe turning into a Category 5 hurricane when it hits the coast of Florida. Cut to: Court where head juror reads they have convicted a man on two counts of pedophila: 1) possession and 2) dissemination of child pornograpy. Judge sentences man to three years in max security prison. We don’t see who is being cuffed. Just the back of a man as the voiceover continues to warn Florida residents to evacuate, in case Lupe increases in power and becomes the worst hurricane to ever touch down in our nation’s history.

[Alternatively, could be something to do with santeria]

Act 1: Jake having breakfast with family and Marco. Lupe is in a mood. Tells Jake he’s an idiot to leave now. Jake dismisses threat of hurricane and says he’s a keynote speaker and is going to the medical conference, in spite of prediction that tropical storm will turn into the worst hurricane in history and land in a matter of days. He says they’ve been saying that for months about other hurricanes. And no hurricanes have landed. It’s just rained hard, so he’s not worried and thinks Lupe is overreacting per usual. Jake teases the kids about wanting something, since they’re having breakfast with the rest of the family, which is not their normal.

Turning point: Jake ignores Lupe’s insults and decides to go to the conference.

Act 2: Lupe has a tantrum. Jake ignores her. She has the TV blaring with the news reporting that the tropical storm is growing stronger and headed their way. They fight over the volume. Resolute, Jake packs and leaves as Lupe follows him, screaming, threatening divorce if he leaves. Jake tells her go ahead. Lupe knows she’s beat and storms back upstairs and finds Dolores casting a spell in her room, nodding as she lights several candles.

Turning point: Jake leaves for conference.

Act 3: Next day news reports Tropical Storm Lupe is growing stronger and headed their way. Lupe rushes everyone to pack so they can get out of the house. Marco walks into Jake’s office and sticks a thumb drive into Jake’s computer. Dolores is packing santeria shit calmly while everyone else is rushing. She is more focused on the lit candles on her altar than packing. This stresses Lupe out, because they need to go. NOW. Marco has returned with a team of movers who clear out the house FAST. The only items left are Jake’s clothes, office furniture, and computer.

Turning point: Tropical storm predicted to turn into a Category 5 hurricane and hit land by nightfall.

Act 4: Hurricane is about to touch down. All the windows in Jake’s house have been boarded up. The wind is strong, branches are blowing across the yard. Jake calls to check on the family. Lupe ignores his call and tosses everyone’s phones outside in the bushes. It’s very difficult to hear each other outside. They have to yell to be heard. Lupe rushes everyone out of the house. Dolores is the last one out. As she exits, she looks up at the sky and smiles.

Turning point: Lupe and family leave at the last possible moment.

Act 5: Lupe is in a posh hotel out of state with kids and Dolores. Everyone has changed their appearance. Folders with their new identities are on the bed. Jake comes home to an empty house. Where is everyone? He walks through the house and notices he has been robbed. Furious, he dials Lupe again. Voicemail. He throws his phone and shatters a glass cabinet in the kitchen. He reaches to pour himself a drink and the police show up. Jake gives them photos to place on TV so they can find his mising family. Jake is confused because the police do not seem interested in his family, but rather his computer and what’s on it.

Turning point: Jake shares pic of Lupe with media to place a photo of Lupe on TV. Jake is relieved when he sees cops at the door. He tells them his family is missing and that he’s been robbed. The police seem disinterested in Jake’s story and instead question him about the child porn on his computer that he has been distributing. He is confused, because he wouldn’t have any of that on his computer. Why won’t they help him? And what’s this about a child pornography ring? Don’t they know he’s a pediatrician?

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Adding Empathy and Distress!

What I learned: Going back through my outline and looking for ways to create more empathy and distress in each of the acts makes the characters more dimensional and interesting and the story more engaging. It also helped me punch up my teaser. #winwin

Surviving Lupe Pilot Outline

Teaser: Tropical Storm Lupe destroys houses in the Bahamas. Winds howling, branches flying, windows boarded over. Streets flooded. Voiceover of potential of Lupe turning into a Category 5 hurricane when it hits the coast of Florida. Cut to: Court where head juror reads they have convicted a man on two counts of pedophila: 1) possession and 2) dissemination of child pornograpy. Judge sentences man to three years in max security prison. We don’t see who is being cuffed. Just the back of a man as the voiceover continues to warn Florida residents to evacuate, in case Lupe increases in power and becomes the worst hurricane to ever touch down in our nation’s history.

Act 1: Jake having breakfast with family and Marco. Lupe is in a mood. Asks Jake to stay. Jake dismises threat of hurricane and says he’s going to medical conference, in spite of prediction that tropical storm will turn into the worst hurricane in history and land in a matter of days. He says they’ve been saying that for months. And no hurricanes have landed. It’s just rained hard, so he’s not worried and thinks Lupe is overreacting per usual. Jake teases the kids about wanting something, since they’re having breakfast with the rest of the family.

Turning point: Jake ignores Lupe’s pleas and decides to go to the conference.

Act 2: Lupe has a tantrum. Jake ignores her. She has the TV blaring with the news reporting that the tropical storm is growing stronger and headed their way. They fight over the volume. Resolute, Jake packs and leaves as Lupe follows him, screaming, threatening divorce if he leaves. Jake tells her go ahead. Lupe knows she’s beat and storms back upstairs and finds Dolores casting a spell in her room, smiling as she lights several candles.

Turning point: Jake leaves for conference.

Act 3: Next day news reports Tropical Storm Lupe is headed their way. Lupe rushes everyone to pack so they can get out of the house. Marco walks into Jake’s office and sticks a thumb drive into Jake’s computer. Dolores is packing santeria shit calmly while everyone else is rushing. She is more focused on the lit candles on her altar than packing. This stresses Lupe out, because they need to go. NOW. Marco has returned with a team of movers who clear out the house FAST. The only items left are Jake’s clothes, office furniture, and computer.

Turning point: Tropical storm predicted to turn into a Category 5 hurricane and hit land by nightfall.

Act 4: Hurricane is about to touch down. All the windows in Jake’s house have been boarded up. The wind is strong, branches are blowing across the yard. Jake calls to check on the family. Lupe ignores his call and tosses everyone’s phones outside in the bushes. It’s very difficult to hear each other outside. They have to yell to be heard. Lupe rushes everyone out of the house. Dolores is the last one out. As she exits, she looks up at the sky and smiles.

Turning point: Lupe and family leave at the last possible moment.

Act 5: Lupe is in a posh hotel out of state with kids and Dolores. Everyone has changed their appearance. Folders with their new identities are on the bed. Jake comes home to an empty house. Where is everyone? He walks through the house and notices he has been robbed. Furious, he dials Lupe again. Voicemail. He throws his phone and shatters a glass cabinet in the kitchen. He reaches to pour himself a drink and the police show up. Jake gives them photos to place on TV so they can find his mising family. Jake is confused because the police do not seem interested in his family, but rather his computer and what’s on it.

Turning point: Jake shares pic of Lupe with media to place a photo of Lupe on TV. Jake is relieved when he sees cops at the door. He tells them his family is missing and that he’s been robbed. The police seem disinterested in Jake’s story and instead question him about the child porn on his computer that he has been distributing. He is confused, because he wouldn’t have any of that on his computer. Why won’t they help him? And what’s this about a child pornography ring? Don’t they know he’s a pediatrician?

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Open Loops and Mysteries

What I learned: It was fun going through my outline to see where else I could add mystery and intrigue. I’m starting to see the difference between mystery and open loops and the importance of revealing things a little at a time to string the viewer along so they can put the puzzle pieces together, bit by bit.

Teaser

Tropical storm destroys houses on islands in the Caribbean. Voiceover of potential of turning into a Category 6 hurricane. Alternate: Court case: Jury convicted man. We don’t see who is being cuffed. Just the back of a man.

Teaser is boring: Will come up with something else. Placeholder for now.

Act 1: Jake having breakfast with family. Lupe tries to get Jake to stay. Jake dismises threat of hurricane and says he’s going to the conference, in spite of the prediction that the tropical storm will turn into the worst hurricane in history.

Turning point: Jake ignores Lupes pleas and decides to go to medical conference.

Main Mystery: Why is Jake so insistent on going to the conference? Why doesn’t Lupe try harder to get him to stay?

Sub-mystery: How did Jake land someone hot like Lupe?

Main open loop: Will the tropical storm hit? Will it turn into a hurricane? Will the family survive? Will Jake survive?

Sub-open loop: Why is Marco having breakfast with the family? Why did Jake tease the boys about wanting something? Is he right?

Act 2: Jake packs and leaves for medical conference. Lupe has tantrum, but Jake dismisses her, despite the fact that the tropical storm is growing stronger and headed their way.

Turning point: Jake ignores Lupe and leaves for conference.

Main Mystery: Why didn’t Jake change his mind when he heard the storm was headed their way?

Sub-mystery: Why didn’t Jake fall for Lupe’s tantrum? Why didn’t she try to stop him from leaving? Why is Jake so dismissive of the hurricane and Lupe? What’s his hurry?

Main Open loop: Will the tropical storm turn into the predicted Category 6 hurricane?

Sub-open loop: Is their marriage on the rocks?

Act 3: Category 6 hurricane headed their way. Lupe rushes everyone out of house. Marco walks into Jake’s office and sticks a thumb drive into his computer. Dolores is packing santeria shit calmly while everyone is rushing to get out. She is more focused on the lit candles on her altar than packing. Marco has hired a team of movers who clear out the house fast.

Turning point: Tropical storm becomes Category 6 hurricane. Predicted to hit land within the hour.

Main Mystery: What is Marco doing to Jake’s computer?

Sub-mystery: Why does Marco come back with a bunch of movers and a moving van? Why is Dolores so calm when everyone else is frantic? Why is Marco leaving Jake’s computer and office equipment?

Main Open loop: What’s up with all the santeria shit in Dolores’ closet? Why is she holding everyone else up?

Sub-open loop: Why are candles burning when Dolores should be packing? Is she casting some sort of spell? Why is Marco loading the moving van with all the furniture? Shouldn’t they just leave?

Act 4: Hurricane is about to touch down. The wind is strong, branches are blowing across the yard.

Turning point: Lupe and family leave in the moving van.

Main Mystery: Why didn’t Lupe answer Jake’s call? Why is she stealing from her husband?

Sub-mystery: What’s up with all the burner phones? Why did she throw everyone’s phones in the bushes?

Main Open loop: What are Lupe and her family plotting? Why didn’t they leave sooner? What will Jake do? Is he so worried that he’ll come home during a hurricane? Can he even do that?

Sub-open loop: Will they get out of there alive? Why isn’t Marco going with them?

What is he going to do with all the furnishings?

Act 5: Lupe in hotel with kids and Dolores. Everyone’s appearance has changed. Sealed folders on the bed. Jake comes home. House is empty. Dolores is outside, talking on her burner phone.

Turning point: Jake shares pic of Lupe with media to find her.

Main Mystery: Why has everyone changed their appearance? What’s up with all the folders on the bed? What’s in them?

Sub-mystery: Why is the house empty when Jake comes home later that week? Who is Dolores talking to on her burner phone?

Main Open loop: Is Jake’s family on the lam? Will they contact Jake?

Sub-open loop: What did Marco do with all the furniture? Will he be joining them at the hotel?

Lock in/Turning Point: Lupe on TV with photo. Jake robbed and framed for child porn by his wife. Jake being questioned by cops for possession of child porn.

Main Mystery: Why are Lupe and her family on the lam? What is a pediatrician doing with child porn? Why do the police think Jake is a pedophile? Is that Marco’s doing? Is Jake really a pedophile?

Sub-mystery: Why didn’t Jake call the police right away when he got home? Why does Lupe laugh when she sees her photo on TV?

Main Open loop: Why aren’t the cops more interested in Jake’s empty house? Why are they so fixated on his computer? Will Jake get arrested? Did he do something bad? What did Marco do to Jake’s computer?

Sub-open loop: Will Jake try to call Lupe again? Has he been set up? Will the cops search the rest of the house? Or just Jake’s computer? What’s going to happen to Jake? Lupe? Rest of family? Marco?

Revised Pilot Outline:

Act 1: Jake having breakfast with family. Lupe tries to get Jake to stay. Jake dismises threat of hurricane and says he’s going to the medical conference, in spite of the prediction that the tropical storm will turn into the worst hurricane in history and land in a matter of days. They’ve been saying that for months. And no hurricanes have landed. It’s just rained hard, so he’s not worried and thinks Lupe is overreacting per usual.

Turning point: Jake ignores Lupe’s pleas and decides to go to the conference.

Act 2: Jake packs and leaves for medical conference. Lupe has a tantrum. Jake ignores her and the news reporting that the tropical storm is growing stronger and headed their way.

Turning point: Jake leaves for conference.

Act 3: Next day news reports Category 6 hurricane headed their way. Lupe rushes everyone to get out of the house. Marco walks into Jake’s office and sticks a thumb drive into his computer. Dolores is packing santeria shit calmly while everyone is rushing. She is more focused on the lit candles on her altar than packing. Marco has hired a team of movers who clear out the house fast. Lupe rushes everyone out of the house. Marco drives away with van and movers.

Turning point: Tropical storm becomes Category 6 hurricane. Predicted to hit land by nightfall.

Act 4: Hurricane is about to touch down. The wind is strong, branches are blowing across the yard. Jake calls. Lupe ignores call and tosses everyone’s phones outside. Everyone has burner phones. Very difficult to hear each other outside. They have to yell to be heard.

Turning point: Lupe and family leave at the last possible moment.

Act 5: Lupe in hotel with kids and Dolores. Everyone has changed their appearance. Folders with their new identities are on the bed. Jake comes home. To an empty house. His family is out of state in a posh hotel.

Turning point: Jake shares pic of Lupe with media to find her.

Lock in/Turning Point: Photo of Lupe on TV. Jake robbed and framed for child porn by his wife. The next day Jake being questioned by cops for possession of child porn.

New Open Loops and Mysteries: Is Jake unhappy in the marriage? Why is he so insistent on going? Why is he so dismissive of Lupe? Will the tropical storm turn into a hurricane? Will the hurricane be as bad as they say? Will the family survive? Why are they stealing from Jake? What is Marco doing to Jake’s computer? Why is Dolores so calm?

Effect of these new open loops and mysteries on interest level of pilot: They created a more interesting pilot with more dramatic tension and intrigue.

[Diana Ceres]

Act 1: Jake having breakfast with family. Lupe tries to get Jake to stay. Jake dismises threat of hurricane and says he’s going to the conference, in spite of the prediction that the tropical storm will turn into the worst hurricane in history. Lupe seems out of Jake’s league. How did he land her? Why is Marco having breakfast with the family? Why are the boys at the table on their best behavior? Jake teases the boys of wanting something? Do they?

Turning point: Jake ignores Lupes pleas and decides to go to medical conference.Act 2: Jake leaves for medical conference. Lupe orchestrates escape. Tropical storm growing stronger? Will it turn into the worst hurricane ever? Why doesn’t Lupe try harder to convince Jake to stay instead of throwing a tantrum? Why is Jake so dismissive and calling her childish? Why doesn’t he stay when there is a threat of a bad hurricane?

Turning point: Jake leaves for conference.Act 3: Category 6 hurricane headed their way. Lupe rushes everyone out of house. What is Marco doing to Jake’s computer? Why is Dolores packing santeria shit calmly while everyone is rushing to get out? Why is Dolores so calm? Why so many lit candles in her closet? What is Marco doing with a moving van? Aren’t they just evacuating?

Turning point: Tropical storm becomes hurricane. Predicted to hit land within the hour.Act 4: Hurricane is about to touch down. Lupe and family leave. But why are they taking everything? What’s up with the burner phones? Why doesn’t Lupe pick up when Jake calls and instead throw everyone’s phones in the bushes? Why would Lupe rob her own husband?

Turning point: Family leaves.Act 5: Lupe in hotel with kids and Dolores. Why has everyone changed their appearance? What’s with all the folders on the bed? Jake comes home. Why is everything gone? His family is out of state. Are they on the lam? Are they planning to contact Jake? What’s going on with Dolores? Who is she talking to on the burner phone?

Turning point: Jake shares pic of Lupe with media to find her.Lock in/Turning Point: Lupe on TV with photo. Jake being questioned by cops for possession of child porn. Why is Lupe on the lam? What do the cops want? Why aren’t they interested in the empty house? Or listening to Jake’s concern for Lupe and kids? Why didn’t Jake call them as soon as he got home? Why does Lupe enjoy seeing her photo on TV? Shouldn’t she be worried? Why is the police accusing a pediatrician of running a child pornography ring?

Turning point: Jake robbed and framed for child porn by his wife.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Layers and Reveals

What I learned: When you build subtext into the characters and structure, the layers, coverups and reveals pretty much make themselves. Subtext is the key to good writing, be it dialog, character traits, or story structure. It adds layers and paves the way for organic coverups and reveals.

Pilot: Layers, Coverups and Reveals

Act 1: Jake having breakfast with family. Lupe tries to talk Jake out of going to conference; Jake dismisses threat of hurricane

Layer: Lupe wants Jake to leave town so she can execute her plan; Jake wants to leave town to get away from mother in law and have a break from Lupe’s demands

Cover up: Normal family having breakfast; Dutiful/concerned wife; makes his favorite meal; Lupe tries to talk Jake out of going to medical conference; worst hurricane in history predicted later that week; Lupe says she doesn’t want Jake to leave them alone or get hurt;

Reveal: Jake and Lupe have an unhealthy relationship

Act 2: Jake leaves for conference. Lupe orchestrates escape.

Layer: Jake is looking forward to a break from Lupe and Dolores; Lupe, Dolores, and Marco want him to leave

Cover up: Husband packs and leaves for medical conference; Lupe pleads for him to stay

Reveal: Lupe and Dolores scheme with Marco to harm Jake

Act 3: Hurricane hits. Jake concerned. Lupe rushes everyone out of house as Marco plants child porn on Jake’s computer and Dolores packs santeria shit calmly while everyone is rushing to get out.

Layer: Lupe and family have been planning this escape

Cover up: Hurricane Lupe about to touch down; Jake notified during conference of hurricane; family frantic; Lupe and family are packing and rushing to leave during hurricane

Reveal: Lupe is emptying all of their shared accounts; she is leaving Jake and framing him for possession and distribution of child porn; this was her plan all along

Act 4: Lupe and family leave. Lupe doesn’t pick up when Jake calls.

Layer: They are driving to get away from Jake; Lupe has tossed everyone’s phones away

Cover up: Family driving to get away from hurricane; Jake calling Lupe

Reveal: They all have burner phones now and new identities; this was an orchestrated hit

Act 5: Lupe in hotel with kids and Dolores. Changes appearance. Has new identify. Jake comes home to empty house.

Layer: Family changes appearance to avoid being recognized; Lupe and family have left Jake

Cover up: Family in hotel, Lupe coloring hair, giving kids buzz cuts; Dolores puts on a different wig; Jake leaves conference early; risks life; comes home to an empty house

Reveal: They have left Jake penniless and framed for multiple felonies

Lock in/Turning Point: Lupe on TV with photo that Jake sent in out of concern. Jake being questioned by cops for possession of child porn.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Character Story Lines

What I learned: It was interesting to see how each character has their own story line. It helps me to separate the action for each character to see how everyone reacts to the same situation.

2. Create a beginning, middle, and end of the character’s story for the pilot.

Jake: Naïve husband, concerned husband, enraged husband. Goes on to medical conference, comes home to find it empty and family gone, being questioned by the cops for posession of child pornography.

Lupe: Devoted wife, manipulative wife, deceitful wife. Encourage Jake to go to conference; dismesses hurricane threat. While he is gone, she cleans out his accounts. Has Marco plant the porn on Jake’s computer.

3. Add the rest of the structure to the characters for the Pilot.

Jake

Beginning: Having breakfast with
family.
Turning Point: Decides to go to
conference.
Midpoint: At conference learns
hurricane hit.
Turning Point 2: Tries calling
wife, but calls go to voicemail, raising his concern.
Major Conflict: Wife and kids are
gone. Are they OK?
Ending: Being questioned by the
cops for possession of child porn
(Dilemma is optional.)

Lupe

Beginning: Encourages husband to go
to converence.
Turning Point: Plans to vacate
house with Jake’s money.
Midpoint: Leaves with family
Turning Point 2: Changes
appearance; receives new identities for family.
Major Conflict: Resting at hotel
out of state when they find out they are “missing” on TV Ending: Arrive in
Mexico to launder stolen money.
(Dilemma is optional.)

Act 1: Jake having breakfast with family. Lupe having breakfast with family. Convinces Jake to go to conference; dismises threat of hurricane.

Act 2: Jake leaves for conference. Lupe orchestrates escape.

Act 3: Hurricane hits. Jake concerned. Lupe rushes everyone out of house as Marco plants child porn on Jake’s computer and Dolores packs santeria shit calmly while everyone is rushing to get out.

Act 4: Lupe and family leave. Lupe doesn’t pick up when Jake calls.

Act 5: Lupe in hotel with kids and Dolores. Changes appearance. Has new identify. Jake comes home to open house.

Lock in/Turning Point: Lupe on TV with photo. Jake being questioned by cops for possession of child porn.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Pilot Structure

What I learned: I didn’t have enough content in the pilot, so I had to use all of Episode 2 to fill in all the acts. I didn’t know there were so many acts to a one-hour show. I will need to go back and add additional content to flesh out the first season.

1. Present the first draft of your pilot Acts.

Teaser:

Essence: Family packing franctically to evacuate during
the biggest hurricane of the century. Friend of family/Marco makes a stop
during hurricane to pick up a suitcase filled with bricks of heroin.
Grandmother taking forever to come downstairs with her suitcase.
Turning Point: Grandmother opens closet filled with
Santeria items, including lit candles. Hurricane named after the mother/wife.

Act 1:

Essence: Jake and family having breakfast. Wife/Lupe
tries to convince him not to go out of town. A Category 6 hurricane is
predicted to touch ground later in the week.
Turning Point: Husband dismisses wife and leaves town
for business trip. Last three hurricanes turned into tropical storms. He’s
not worried.

Act 2:

Essence: During hurricane evacuation, Lupe empties all
of Jake’s bank accounts and transfers the money into offshore accounts.
Marco clears out all the furniture and places it in U-Haul.
Turning Point/Midpoint: Lupe makes several fortuitous
trades to set Jake up for $7M of insider trading.

Act 3:

Essence: Jake comes home and finds house empty, save
for his laptop.
Turning Point: Jake’s calls go to voicemail. He
continues to dial and discovers everyone’s phones outside in the bushes.

Act 4:

Essence: Lupe and family have crossed state lines and
are holed up in a posh hotel. Marco places their posessions in storage. Turning Point: They have altered appearances and new
identities.

Act 5:

Essence: Jake is distraught. He calls police to file a
missing person’s report, thinking his family is in danger.
Lock In: Feds visit Jake and inquire about his recent
trades.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Amazing Inciting Incident

What I learned: I learned more about the characters and figured out a more interesting role for one of the ancillary characters.

1. What is the “Inciting Incident” of your series that this pilot needs to deliver powerfully? Wife empties husband’s bank accounts and frames him for insider trading before escaping during the worst hurricane of the century.

2. Give us the main beats of that Inciting Incident:

Intriguing
Concept: Mother/Daughter Catfishing Team

Act 1: Jake is a
day trader away on business. Friend of family clears out all furniture in
his house.

Midpoint: Hurricane
about to touch ground as wife leaves town with kids and everything in
their bank accounts.

Lock In: Jake comes
home to an empty house.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Big Picture Components

What I learned: The formula helped me see where I needed to up the stakes.

SERIES INFO:

World: Mother/daughter catfishing team <div>

Main mystery: Where’s Lupe?

Impossible Goal: Catch Lupe while under the watch of
the feds.

Main Conflict: Jake in prison. Lupe is free.

Second Mystery: How many husbands does Lupe have?

Season 1 Arc: From successful day trader to white
collar criminal.

Season 1 Protagonist Internal Journey: From wealthy and
happily married to alone and destitute.

PILOT INFO:

Pilot Conflict: Wife leaves husband, clears out his
bank accounts, and frames him for insider trading while he is away on
business. </div>

Characters Introduced: Lupe, Dolores, Mikey, Carlos,
Jake

Inciting Incident of Season 1: Lupe leaving Jake; Jake’s
visit from the feds

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Visually Appealing Pitch Bible

What I learned: I enjoyed
listening to Drew’s interview and got some really great ideas. It gave me some
ideas for images for my own pitch bible. It also showed me that I need to
condense my bible even more. I’m torn between just turning in text vs. turning
in something like what Drew did. If a visual bible gives me an edge over
others, it would definitely be worth the cost. I certainly want to get this
show produced. Once I have a finalized version of my pitch bible, I might reach
out to Drew for assistance. In the interim, I would love to exchange with others on my current Pitch Bible to see what others are doing and to get some feedback on my show.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Edited TV Pitch Bible

What I learned: This made
my TV pitch bible so much better. I cleaned up the formatting. Removed fluff
and cliches. Found holes and contradictions and fixed them. And added some
additional layers and open loops. I’d love to exchange with someone to get some
feedback soon.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Episode Titles

What I learned: Looking at the sequence to tell a quick story was very helpful to me. It showed me one episode that was out of order and that I may want to end the season an episode sooner and open the second season with the current final episode. I ended up changing a few of the original episode titles, because I liked the newer titles better. Still a work in progress, but this is what I have so far:

Working Show Title: Meet the Kennedy’s (have eight others I’m sitting with)

Season 1: To Have and to Hold

Episode 1: Bedazzled and Bankrupt

Episode 2: Civil Disobedience

Episode 3: A Good Man Is Hard to Find

Episode 4: Peekaboo

Episode 5: Trial by Fire

Episode 6: Ghosted

Episode 7: Ten Steps Ahead

Episode 8: Shenanigans and Santeria

Episode 9: A House Divided

Episode 10 (might move to start Season 2): Old Flames and New Troubles

[Diana Ceres]

Diana Presents Nonstop Intrigue

What I learned: Punching up the areas that were flat and removing fluff and making sure I incorporated more setups/payoffs into the Pitch Bible elevated it by giving it more intrigue and gave me ideas of how I can incorporate that intrigue into the episodes. It also gave me several new title ideas for the series.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Intrigue Patterns

What I learned: Sometimes changing just one word, makes a line easier to digest and more intriguing. In this instance I changed one word (husbands) to (men) to set up the intrigue. Then I can layer the series description and reveal the layers bit by bit as we go deeper into the series.

New Series Concept: When five men are framed and imprisoned for financial crimes by the same woman, they hatch a plan to track her down to give her a taste of her own medicine.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s TV Pitch Bible Investigation

What I learned: I liked the what ifs/then whats and the what if it got worses in particular.

Do a complete investigation on your TV Pitch Bible to discover more depth, layers, and intrigue.

1. Starting with your BW Framework and current draft of the TV Pitch Bible, ASSUME there is something beneath the surface that you absolutely MUST discover.

2. Investigate by picking situations and characters and asking:

Tool 1: Dig: What’s beneath that? Wife is career criminal. Because her mother groomed her to be. Because they are evil and lazy and get pleasure out of a destryoing others. The mother is using the daughter to get what she wants and the daughter is using men to get what she wants: money and power and more of it.

Tool 2: Extrapolate: If Lupe has four other husbands, then they are probably looking for her. Why doesn’t she divorce them? Because then she would have to confront them and pay for her crimes. This way she can keep bleeding them dry until there is nothing left. And she is AWOL with no one else to blame for the setup.

Tool 3: Wonder: What if they (the other husbands) each found her? Lupe could be held accountable for her crimes. Would she try to win them over? Would she flee? Would she pit all of the husbands against each other to buy time to escape?

Tool 4: Backtrack: How could that have happened? Carlos notifies others, first by confronting the one guy who is watching the house and then digging deeper into the matter by discovering other husbands. One of the men is already in prison.

Tool 5: Forecast: How could this get even worse? Father sent to jail. Son soon after him in prison. Another of Lupe’s husbands after him in prison. They all break out and become fugitives with opposing goals. Lupe harms someone. Lupe is harmed. Carlos is in danger.

3. Evaluate the possibilities and decide what you are going to use in the different parts of your TV Pitch Bible. Divide the answers into three categories:

Use in TV Pitch Bible: Husbands after the same woman, career criminal who destroys their lives.

Use in Episodes: One husband has change of heart and betrays the others by foiling their plan. Carlos locked in trunk of Marcos’ car when he is kidnapped. Gets out alive when Marcos stops for beer and slams on the brakes, awakening Carlos who realizes he is in a dark trunk. Will he bust out before Marcos comes out or get caught in the act? Have him get caught and get beaten up and add more dramatic tension by incoporating hope/fear.

Don’t use: Grandmother using santeria. She can have someone else do the santeria for her, which is more aligned with her character. She is spoiled and has others do her dirty work for her.

4. For any parts where there is a substantial improvement, rewrite those parts of the TV Pitch Bible. Then, tell us what parts you changed and give a quick description of what you did.

What I changed: Using what could make their plan worse at the end is one of the husbands has a change of heart and decides to thwart their plan, so in addition to US Marshalls and a vengeful son after him, he also has someone in his inner circle who’s still in love with Lupe, despite everything she has done to destroy his life, and giving intel to Lupe and trying to thwart their plan. Also, instead of them killing the wife at the end of the series, I’m leaving it open-ended and having them get revenge on her by setting her up to fall for the same scam she uses on others.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Show Summary

What I learned: By following the template Hal provided, I was able to see the major turning points much easier and actually changed the story some to make it even better!

1. Choose the Summary Format you like best.

(Engage Us in the Main Mystery)

2. Create an outline using this structure or something similar:

Set up — Character’s normal situation (Jake’s life is miserable)

Twist/Hook

Real situaiton – Major Empathy / Distress (Set up for his wife’s crimes)

Twist/Hook (Wife is a career criminal and married to four other men)

Impossible to solve conflict or major mystery. (Youngest son headed to prison to kill Jake)

Final Hook into the Series – Extreme Dramatic Question (Can Jake and one of Lupe’s other husbands work together to destroy her life?)

3. Turn it into a rough draft.

As Long As We Both Shall Live

One-Hour Drama

IT specialist, Jake Kennedy, has a life filled with normal problems. He’s passed over for a promotion at work; his wife is cheating on him; one of his kids is in juvie; the other is spying on the girl next door; and he is oblivious that his wife is a career criminal who’s setting him up to take the fall for her crimes.

Oh, and Jake’s wife, Lupe, is married to four other men!

Teaming up with her mother, Lupe marries men to bankrupt them and destroy their lives by setting them up to take the fall for her financial crimes as she steals away with a new alias and a fat bank account in search of her next victim. When Jake’s eldest, Carlos, discovers his mom’s secret, he must decide if he should confront her or go further down the rabbit hole she has dug.

But before he can do either his mother’s boyfriend kidnaps him to keep him quiet.

With his dad in prison and his mom AWOL, Carlos learns his brother Mike is getting out of juvie and heading straight for prison…to kill his dad! Unable to warn his father in time, Carlos must do the unthinkable: Kill the boyfriend to save his father.

But Carlos fails and is beaten by the boyfriend and left for dead.

When Carlos wakes up, he discovers his mother has emptied all of their bank accounts and sold all of their assets. With no one else to turn to, Carlos teams up with one of Lupe’s other husbands to free his father and find his mother.

How do two strangers married to the same woman work together to catch (and destroy) their wife?

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Episode Descriptions

What I learned: By using the template and taking it one episode at a time, I created a rough outline of an entire season. Who knew? It also was heaps of fun!

1) Season 1: To Have and to Hold

Episode 1: Bedazzled and Bankrupt

Hook/Intrigue: Opens with Jake barbequing over a GIANT flame; he is burning checks—LOTS of them. When his wife, Lupe, steps outside they argue over money.

Main Character journey: Jake is gullible and WAY too trusting. He is the head of IT for the FBI and unwittingly married a career criminal whose mother-in-law practices dark magic and heads the crime family.

Major Challenge/Conflict: Jake wants to provide for his family, but his wife, Lupe, wants to destroy his family emotionally and financially and has a santeria mother to help her.

Action/Reaction: Jake went bankrupt because of his wife’s lavish spending. Lupe refuses to live on a budget and steals a BIG stack of checkbooks and forges Jake’s signature to continue with her lavish spending. While Jake is burning checks on the BBQ, Lupe pretends to be shredding credit cards in the bedroom but is actually shredding fashion magazines and places Jake’s cards in a secret safe, along with the stacks of checks she stole from the patio and card numbers she stole from her moms in the neighboorhood by memorizing the numbers when they are out shopping.

Cliffhanger: Jake walks into the bedroom as Lupe is closing the safe in the closet. Will he find out what she is up to?

Episode 2: Retail Therapy

Hook/Intrigue: Jake’s “devoted” wife is commiting mail fraud.

Main Character journey: Jake tries to convince Lupe to get a job as he works to get his life back in order. They fight, but eventually she relents. Or so Jake thinks.

Major Challenge/Conflict: Jake and his family are hard up for money. Lupe refuses to work a real job. Why would she? So she decides to commit mail fraud instead and when he thinks she’s working, she’s buying lavish goods with bad checks and other people’s cards and sells them on eBay for profit. Jake, an honest, hard-working man has no clue what Lupe is up to. He went so far as to pack her lunch on her first day of “work,” which Lupe tosses in the trash when he leaves for work, only to invite her girlfriends to an expensive lunch that she pays for with a bad check.

Action/Reaction: Lupe also sells Jake’s cherished possessions on eBay for money. We’re talking major league stuff here: Vintage baseball cards, rare coin collection, the Rolex she gave him as a wedding gift, and pockets her kids’ college fund that his parents set up for them. You name it. There is no limit to her greed or manipulation.

Cliffhanger: Jake comes home and makes dinner and finds Lupe’s lunch in the trash. Soon after Tiffany’s calls about a bad check and Jake apologizes and pulls from his savings to pay for a diamond tennis bracelet.

Episode 3: A Good Man Is Hard to Find

Hook/Intrigue: Jake and Lupe fight over the tennis bracelet and the lunch. Lupe says she found a better job and bought the bracelet weeks ago and that she will return it. Jake tells her to keep it as an early anniversary present and they make up. When Jake comes home from work, Lupe and her ex-boyfriend are having sex in their bedroom. Boyfriend hides in closet. Lupe asks Jake to get something from store. Jake is tired and declines and sits down and watches television. Boyfriend escapes out back window as his son Carlos watches with his telescope.

Main Character journey: Jake is being used by Lupe, who is not only bankrupting him again, but also cheating on him with her ex-boyfriend.

Major Challenge/Conflict: Jake is trying to make things right. Lupe is doing everything in her power to prevent that so she can leave him high and dry like she did with her other four husbands.

Action/Reaction: Jake finds expensive items filling his basement and loses his shit. Lupe calms him down and says she bought them for cheap at estate sales and is selling them on eBay for profit. Jake is impressed with his wife’s ingenuity.

Cliffhanger: Jake stops at post office on his way home from work and the postal worker wheels out several dollies piled high with stacks of bins. He is shocked and starts going through the parcels—all addressed to him.

Episode 4: Stepping Out

Hook/Intrigue: Jake has to rent a U-Haul to bring the packages home. He confronts Lupe about his name being on the packages, as well as the volume of packages, and Lupe says not to worry about it. She just had them addressed to head of household for tax purposes, so he could declare the income properly. Satisfied, but exasperated, Jake wheels the parcels inside.

Main Character journey: Lupe finds her mail fraud lucrative and pays for a girl’s weekend—with her boyfriend! Jake is oblivious to Lupe’s infidelities. He’s a workaholic and too stressed about the bankruptcy to be suspicious of anything…until one of Lupe’s friends stops by while Lupe is away. Jake’s kid Carlos is working at Radio Shack and buys a keyboard logger, so he can hack into his dad’s portal and get some dirt on his mom’s boyfriend that he can use to blackmail him with.

Major Challenge/Conflict: In addition to the above, Jake walks into Carlos’ room and finds him watching the girl across the street getting undressed with his telescope. Jake threatens to take the telescope away if he isn’t going to use it for stargazing like he promised.

Action/Reaction: One of Lupe’s friends that she is supposed to be on weekend trip with swings by the house to borrow something. Jake confronts her about the weekend, and she realizes Lupe is up to something and covers for her. Jake starts to grow suspicous of Lupe.

Cliffhanger: Lupe’s lies and infidelities are starting to catch up with her. Jake hears about a sting operation at work pertaining to mail fraud and comes home early to find Lupe and her mom piling MORE packages in the basement.

Episode 5: Trouble in Paradise

Hook/Intrigue: Carlos is watching the girl across the street with his telescope and notices a guy with out of state tags pull up near their house. He starts to zoom in when he’s called down for dinner. He overhears Jake asking Lupe about her eBay business and Carlos grows suspicious. Weren’t they bankrupt? Why is his mom buying so much stuff?

Main Character journey: Lupe continues to buy in excess with bad checks and sells for double on eBay. Because she is using Jake’s name on the checks and parcels, the Feds think it’s Jake. She is setting him up for her crimes.

Major Challenge/Conflict: Jake is growing more concerned about the dolllies of bins containing packages for Lupe at the post office. What the fuck is she buying? When Jake is at work Lupe sells all the items on eBay using Jake’s account and has Mike drive the packages to the post office for her.

Action/Reaction: Lupe says she is going to rent a storage unit for her eBay business. Jake tells her to stop, that she should sell what she has before buying more stuff. He sees a different side to Lupe that he never noticed before: Think super bitch on steroids. Lupe ignores him and asks Mike to rent a unit for her.

Cliffhanger: Lupe asks Jake to go to the post office to pick up more packages. Jake is pissed, because he asked her to stop purchasing items. When he arrives, he is called into an interrogation room to discuss the volume of packages he has coming and going.

Episode 6: Die Hard

Hook/Intrigue: Jake is in a small room at the post office signing stacks and stacks of checks to prove it wasn’t him.

Main Character journey: Jake goes home furious. Lupe is nowhere to be found. Her calls go straight to voicemail. Jake throws his phone on the pavement, shattering it.

Major Challenge/Conflict: Jake is being set up for Lupe’s crimes. When he comes home he finds Carlos on the computer and asks him where his mother is. Carlos turns on his screensaver to prevent his dad from seeing the PI work he is doing on his mom’s boyfriend and tells him she left with Mike hours ago.

Action/Reaction: Jake calls the ex-boyfriend who is also a friend of the family to see if he knows where she is. No dice. Then he calls the mother-in-law who is busy chanting in Spanish and making potions for God knows what and does not pick up.

Cliffhanger: Jake drives to Lupe’s best friend’s house to see if she is there. On the way, he runs off the road and his Jeep flips over several times.

Episode 7: Old Flames and New Troubles

Hook/Intrigue: Jake is in the hospital in a body cast, sipping water through a straw. Carlos stops by with a chessboard. They play chess. Jake tells his son you always have to be ten steps ahead of your opponent. Carlos nods and then beats his dad.

Main Character journey: Lupe is ten steps ahead of Jake and has been setting him up to take the fall for her crimes since day 1. Jake is miserable and in heaps of pain. Will he ever be the same, financially and emotionally?

Major Challenge/Conflict: Lupe is still nowhere to be found. With Jake in the hospital, Carlos spends his time watching the girl across the street with his telescope in his darkened room. He notices the same car watching his house and decides to run the plates using his dad’s portal with a keyboard logger he bought at Radio Shack where he works.

Action/Reaction: Jake calls Lupe and she answers! He asks her to pick him up from the hospital, and she rushes over, playing the concerned/dutiful wife.

Cliffhanger: Postal worker who interrogated Jake has conversation with FBI agent and handwriting analyst. It is not Jake’s signature. The agent dumps Lupe’s phone and computer and starts scrolling through EVERYTHING.

Episode 8: In the Weeds

Hook/Intrigue: Jake is home on crutches and finds Carlos using his work portal. When confronted Carlos says he saw a man watching the house and wanted to run his plates, which he’s already done, but doesn’t want to say anything until he goes WAY down that rabbit hole to see what else he finds.

Main Character journey: With Jake out of the hospital, Lupe is called in for questioning at FBI. She plays the innocent deer in the headlights and tells them Jake is the mastermind and criminal behind the eBay shenanigans and that he forced her to do it. FBI isn’t buying it. Jake bails Lupe out. She is in tears and begs him to take the fall for her.

Major Challenge/Conflict: Jake refuses to take the fall for something he did not do. Lupe is furious and calls her mother and asks her to take care of it.

Action/Reaction: Jake takes out a second loan on the house to pay for Lupe’s defense lawyer. Jake’s MIL is doing more dark magic to make Jake take the fall for Lupe and for the Feds to pin the crimes on Jake.

Cliffhanger: Jake shows up at the FBI satellite office in whatever city this takes place in and confesses to everything. He says he put Lupe up to the whole thing and made her sign the checks differently so it couldn’t be pinned on him. It was his scheme to get back on his feet financially for the sake of his family.

Episode 9: Innocence Lost

Hook/Intrigue: FBI doesn’t know what to make of Jake’s forced confession. They don’t want to believe their IT hero, their rock would do something like this. When questioned, his coworker corroborates Jake’s story, not because he’s under any voodoo spell, but because he is jealous of Jake and wants Jake out of the picture so he can run IT.

Main Character journey: Jake is on the course to be incarcerated for forgery tht his wife committed. His reputation is at stake. His house is divided. Lupe, MIL, and Mike are furious that their father would force Lupe to take the fall for him. Carlos knows something’s up and continues to dig deeper into the portal. He already found dirt on the boyfriend and blackmailed him with it to keep him away. Dirt TBD.

Major Challenge/Conflict: Jake forced by black magic to take the fall for Lupe. Jake is innocent.

Action/Reaction: Jake confesses to crimes he didn’t commit and stuns his colleagues. MIL and Lupe are happy. Carlos is digging up dirt on his mom while surveiling the dude in the car with his telescope. He doesn’t want to confront the guy yet, because he’s only seven steps ahead.

Cliffhanger: Jake is taken away in handcuffs.

Episode 10: Trial by Fire

Hook/Intrigue: Jake on trial for Lupe’s crimes. MIL concocts potion to sway jury to convict Jake.

Main Character journey: Jake is going to prison for crimes his wife committed.

Major Challenge/Conflict: Jake is confused about the entire situation. Something seems amiss but he can’t figure it out. Why is he taking the fall? Didn’t he already refuse to do that? Wasn’t Lupe the one doing all the spending? Where are all the packages? Even if the spell broke today, he couldn’t prove any of it. Lupe and Mike cleared out the basement and are selling goods under an assumed name.

Action/Reaction: Jake is fired, goes to jail, and loses face with his colleagues and family.

Cliffhanger: Jake takes a plea to spare the children and Lupe and gets a reduced sentence.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Episode Ideas (Rough Draft)

What I learned: Every time I run through the episodes I learn something else about the characters and add to their journey. I also ordered a puzzle to practice putting all the different pieces together, which can serve as a metaphor for how we piece together a show or movie. It’s impossible to know where all the pieces go when you first start, but if you persevere, you will have a finished product. Sort of like what Hal said on the call, encouraging a student to get a puzzle to help her create her show structure. I thought it was cool that Hal used that to teach his daughters the creative process by working on puzzles and wanted to give it a try to see if it helped me see all the different pieces of the show I am working on and how they all come together to form a complete series. Who knows? Maybe I’ll do a different puzzle for each show or movie I work on, cats willing. LOL.

Possible Episode Ideas

Season 1: To Have and to Hold

Beginning: Jake burning checks and shredding cards because of Lupe’s overspending.

Middle: Jake’s partner is tipped by Jake’s MIL and starts investigating his partner.

Ending: Jake framed by his wife for forgery and arrested by his partner.

Cliffhanger: Will Jake go to prison for his wife’s crimes?

Mystery Setup:

Question
A: What
is the mystery? Jake married to a career criminal. Why is Jake burning
checks? Wife’s extravagent spending/closed account and cards. Why did Lupe
steal some of the checks Jake was burning? To commit forgery.
Question B: How could
the mystery be set up? BBQ at beginning with flames. We don’t know what he
is burning until we see the checks. What parts will be left out that must
be solved? Why Lupe stole some of the checks. Who else is involved in the
scheme?
Question
C: What
it the ultimate solution that the characters must work to discover? Who
will go to jail for forgery? Who plays a role in framing Jake?

Mystery Resolved: Jake framed for forgery by his wife.

Layers:

Question
A: What
layers have you already discovered in your BW Framework? Wife and MIL
career criminals.
Question B: Are there
any other layers that you could think of? MIL crime boss and Santeria
queen. Marriage built on lies. Adultery. Jake’s partner investigates him
for his wife’s crimes. Lupe destroys each husband financially and
emotionally and then leaves them and the kids behind and creates a new
alias and repeats her scam with her mother.

Major Storylines:

Question
A: What
main characters have story lines that affect everyone else? Jake, Lupe,
Dolores (MIL), Carlos and Mike (kids), ex-boyfriend, Jake’s partner
Question
B: What
are the most important story lines of this show? Lupe setting Jake up for
fraud. Jake trying to prevent Lupe from overspending. Dolores pulling all
the strings. Lupe cheating on Jake. Will Jake go to prison?

Season 2: From This Day Forward

Beginning: Jake goes to prison.

Middle: Jake struggles with prison life.

Ending: Jake earns respect from the other inmates.

Cliffhanger: Will the inmate who tried to kill Jake survive?

Mystery Setup:

Question
A: What
is the mystery? Why was Jake framed? Maybe someone he knows is in prison,
like Lupe’s brother who orchestrated the whole thing from the outside. Or
even the MIL. Maybe his partner was competing with Jake for a promotion
and wanted Jake out of the picture. Will Jake learn who framed him? Will
Jake believe Lupe when she says it wasn’t her fault?
Question B: How could
the mystery be set up? Call from prison to start things in motion. Ex: MIL
calls daughter. Or brother calls sister. What parts will be left out that
must be solved? Who set him up and why? Why does one of the inmates try to
kill Jake? What does the man in the car want?
Question
C: What
is the ultimate solution that the characters must work to discover? Jake
must stand up for himself and gain status inside prison. He also wants to
find out who framed him so he can be released from prison.

Mystery Resolved: Lupe set Jake up. Jake’s partner eager to go along with it. MIL hexed jury. Inmate paid to kill Jake (by Lupe).

Layers:

Question
A: What
layers have you already discovered in your BW Framework? Lupe doesn’t love
Jake. She conned him. Carlos is Jake’s kid. Mike is the boyfriend’s. No
one knows but Lupe.
Question B: Are there
any other layers that you could think of? Lupe’s mother conned her. Jake’s
partner doesn’t like Jake and wanted him out of his way so he could get
promoted. Carlos starts investigating the man who is staking out their
house by running his plates using his dad’s software.

Major Storylines:

Question
A: What
main characters have story lines that affect everyone else? Jake, Lupe,
Dolores (MIL), Carlos and Mike (kids), Jake’s partner, Inmate that tries
to kill Jake
Question
B: What
are the most important story lines of this show? Jake navigating prison
life. Lupe’s and Dolores’ schemes. Jake’s partner getting promoted. Carlos
investigating mystery guy in car.

Season 3: For Better or Worse

Beginning: Eldest son discovers his mother is a bigamist and Jake is not Mike’s biological father.

Middle: Jake’s partner gets a tip from Carlos (Jake’s eldest) that it wasn’t Jake who committed multiple counts of forgery. Partner ignored tip, because he didn’t want to get in trouble for allowing his partner to be framed. Lupe maybe paid him off to keep quiet about it. This could be something that happens earlier in the series but is revealed during this season maybe?

Ending: Jake learns he was framed and that Lupe is a career criminal and married to four other men.

Cliffhanger: Will Jake divorce his wife?

Mystery Setup:

Question
A: What
is the mystery? Who is the father of Jake’s kids? Why did Jake’s partner
go along with the scheme?
Question B: How could
the mystery be set up? Mike bonded with Lupe’s boyfriend more than Jake. Carlos
hates boyfriend but loves Jake. Jake’s partner getting promoted, buys nice
car. What parts will be left out that must be solved? DNA test? Phone
calls or meetings with Lupe.
Question
C: What
is the ultimate solution that the characters must work to discover? How to
navigate prison life and garner respect/avoid being killed. How to carry
out her scheme without getting caught? How to use this knowledge (mother
is a bigamist) against his mother.

Mystery Resolved: Boyfried father of Mike. Jake’s partner wanted to get promoted and was bought off by Lupe to stay out of the way. Carlos tests boyfriend’s DNA and discovers Mike is a match. Carlos hacks his mother’s phone and reads texts between her and Jake’s partner.

Layers:

Question
A: What
layers have you already discovered in your BW Framework? Lupe is a career
criminal. Frank Lopez is an opportunist who will sell his partner out. Lupe
is having an affair. Jake is more badassed than he realized.
Question B: Are there
any other layers that you could think of? Jake starts standing up for
himself. Carlos is digging up dirt on his mom.

Major Storylines:

Question
A: What
main characters have story lines that affect everyone else? Jake, Lupe,
Dolores (MIL), Carlos and Mike (kids), Jake’s partner
Question
B: What
are the most important story lines of this show? Mike isn’t Jake’s kid. Jake
was framed for forgery. His partner was in on it. His wife is a bigamist
and a conartist. His MIL is a crime boss and uses dark magic to get what
she wants.

Season 4: For Richer or Poorer

Beginning: Jake’s wife bankrupts him and serves him divorce papers and seeks sole custody of the kids while he is in prison so she can marry her boyfriend.

Middle: Jake starts dating a woman who writes to him in prison.

Ending: Mike agrees to commit crimes for his mother so he can join Jake in prison and kill him so he cannot testify against his mother.

Cliffhanger: Will Mike get caught for his crimes?

Mystery Setup:

Question
A: What
is the mystery? Why is Mike committing crimes? What is Carlos going to do
with his intel?
Question B: How could
the mystery be set up? Mike starts doing bad things. TBD. What parts will
be left out that must be solved? How many other husbands Lupe has.
Question
C: What
is the ultimate solution that the characters must work to discover? Mike
is after Jake.

Mystery Resolved: During trial we see Mike smirk or something. He’s in on it.

Layers:

Question
A: What
layers have you already discovered in your BW Framework? Mike hates his
father. Jake loves his dad. Jake is relieved when Lupe divorces him.
Question B: Are there
any other layers that you could think of? Mike will do anything to please
his mother and gain his grandmother’s approval. Carlos hates his mother
and will do anything to save his father.

Major Storylines:

Question
A: What
main characters have story lines that affect everyone else? Jake, Lupe,
MIL, Mike, Carlos.
Question
B: What
are the most important story lines of this show? Jake gets served with
divorce and custody papers behind bars. Jake starts dating a lawyer while
in prison. Mike starts acting out. Mike gets caught.

Season 5: In Sickness and in Health

Beginning: Mike goes to prison and almost kills Jake.

Middle: Jake gets married in prison. Lupe furious.

Ending: Jake’s new wife kidnapped by man in mask and sold into white slavery in Peru.

Cliffhanger: Mike attempts to break out of prison. Will he make it?

Mystery Setup:

Question
A: What
is the mystery? Who kidnapped Jake’s wife? And where is she?
Question B: How could
the mystery be set up? Wife missing day after wedding. What parts will be
left out that must be solved? What happened? Who did it? Where is she?
Will Jake find her?
Question
C: What
is the ultimate solution that the characters must work to discover? Jake
must find his his wife and get revenge on his ex. Mike must escape US
Marshalls and find Jake.

Mystery Resolved: Nope. Not until Season 6.

Layers:

Question
A: What
layers have you already discovered in your BW Framework? MIL crime boss,
Santeria queen, Mike hates his father, Lupe jealous of Jake’s new wife
Question B: Are there
any other layers that you could think of? Jake was an Eagle Scout and can
find his way through anything, MIL grooming Mike to take over the family
business, not Lupe.

Major Storylines:

Question
A: What
main characters have story lines that affect everyone else? Jake, Lupe,
MIL, Mike, Carlos, Jake’s new wife, Jake’s partner sort of disappears.
I’ll need to go back to earlier seasons and add him back in.
Question
B: What
are the most important story lines of this show? Jake remarries. Mike goes
to prison to kill Jake. Jake’s new wife is kidnapped. Mike and his buddies
plot a prison break.

Season 6: ‘Til Death Do Us Part

Beginning: Jake released from prison and organizes a search hunt for his wife and Lupe with her other husbands. Mike escapes to hunt Jake down. US Marshalls hunting down Mike and other convicts who escaped en masse.

Middle: Mike almost caught by Marshalls just as he is about to shoot Jake. Jake escapes. Barely. Only to fall into a pit.

Ending: Lupe’s other husbands find Jake in the jungles of Peru. They are searching for Lupe with machetes, chopping down vines to find her.

Cliffhanger: What will they do when they find Lupe? Will the Marshall’s get Mike? Will Mike get Jake before the Marshalls get him? Where is Jake’s new wife?

Mystery Setup:

Question
A: What
is the mystery? Where is Lupe? Where is Jake’s wife?
Question B: How could
the mystery be set up? Jungles of Peru. Carlos on computer using GPS
coordinates. Jake’s new wife kidnappped. What parts will be left out that
must be solved? Location of Lupe and Jake’s new wife.
Question
C: What
is the ultimate solution that the characters must work to discover? Jake
must find his wife. Lupe must survive the quicksand and her angry husbands
who find her. Mike must escape the Marshalls that are on his tail. And
Dolores (MIL) must save Mike from the Marshalls, because she doesn’t trust
Lupe or Carlos to take over the business.

Mystery Resolved: Jake finds Lupe in quicksand, yelling for help. When he learns his new wife was sold into white slavery and where she was sent, he walks away, breaking his promise to help her out and leaving her fate up to her other husbands. Mike gets caught at the end of the season by the Marshalls. But will their mission be successful? Or will Dolores intervene?

Layers:

Question
A: What
layers have you already discovered in your BW Framework? Why Lupe is in
Peru. What is she doing there? Cat and mouse. Hunt. Chase.
Question B: Are there
any other layers that you could think of? MIL santeria, revenge

Major Storylines:

Question
A: What
main characters have story lines that affect everyone else? Jake, Lupe,
MIL, Mike, Carlos, Jake’s new wife, Jake’s partner sort of disappears.
I’ll need to go back to earlier seasons and add him back in. Lupe’s other
husbands.
Question
B: What
are the most important story lines of this show? Find Jake’s wife (Jake).
Find Jake (Mike). Run from Jake (Lupe). Keep Lupe at bay and protect Mike
(Dolores). Capture Mike (US Marshalls)

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Season 1 Episode Ideas (To have and to hold)

1) Season 1: To Have and to Hold

a) Episode 1: Bankruptcy

i) Check BBQ

ii) Lupe Steals Checkbooks

iii) MIL with kids

iv) Boyfriend with Lupe

b) Episode 2: Career Choices

i) Lupe looking for work, but quickly gives up

ii) Lupe keeps spending because she’s bored

iii) Lupe sells all their possessions on eBay to pay for the stuff she buys

iv) Lupe buys more stuff, forges Jake’s signature on checks to pay for it. Sells on eBay.

c) Episode 3: Men at work

i) Jake and partner on a sting

ii) Partner over for dinner, notices nice things and wonders if Jake’s on the take

iii) MIL does weird Santeria stuff

iv) Jake wheels out dolly with stacks of bins from the post office to his car. Lupe says she has an online business to help out with the expenses.

d) Episode 4: Side Gigs

i) Lupe finds her fraud lucrative and pays for a girl’s weekend-with her boyfriend!

ii) Jake too caught up in work and play and kids to notice Lupe’s stepping out

iii) Lupe’s boyfriend enquires about how (his?) boys are doing

iv) Police call Jake about checks from his closed account appearing in local scams

e) Episode 5: Trouble in Paradise

i) Jake and his partner close their big case

ii) Jake and Lupe go on their long-delayed vacation (honeymoon?)

iii) Lupe shows a side Jake never knew was there on vacation (think super bitch on steroids)

iv) Jake confronts Lupe about all the bills for the goods she orders online

f) Episode 6: In the Weeds

i) Post office begins keeping track of Lupe’s orders

ii) MIL begins to conspire with Lupe

iii) One of Lupe’s many husbands shows up in Miami

iv) Begins to track Lupe down

g) Episode 7: Old Flames and New Trouble

i) One of Lupe’s husbands starts staking out their house

ii) The MIL uses Santeria to curse Jake and have him take the fall for the bad checks

iii) Lupe doesn’t realize the Post Office is investigating her shipments

iv) Postal Inspectors show up at Lupe’s house and confront her while Jake’s at work

h) Episode 8: Die Hard

i) Carlos watches girl across the street with his telescope

ii) Lupe tells Postal Inspectors that Jake is the mastermind and criminal behind the eBay shenanigans

iii) Jake is tailed by Postal Inspectors from his Miami FBI office

iv) Jake pleads his innocence, says it must have been the MIL

i) Episode 9: Trial by Fire

i) Postal Inspectors work with Jake’s partner to entrap him

ii) Jake picks up Lupe’s latest shipment, thinks nothing of it

iii) Postal Inspectors are waiting for Jake and Lupe sees them in the parking lot-takes kids into apartment

iv) Lupe watches from window as Jake is arrested

j) Episode 10: Innocence Lost

i) Jake faces judge and released on bail

ii) Jake mounts a defense and confronts MIL about eBay

iii) MIL concocts potion and convinces Jake he’s guilty

iv) Jake decides to take a plea to spare the children and Lupe and get a reduced sentence

Season 2 Episode Ideas (From this day forward)

Episode 1: [one sentence description with bullet points beneath each one]

Episode 2: Will finish this later. I think I was only supposed to do Season 1 anyway.

Episode 3:

Episode 4:

Episode 5:

Episode 6:

Episode 7:

Episode 8:

Episode 9:

Episode 10:

Season 3 Episode Ideas (For better or worse)

Episode 1:

Episode 2:

Episode 3:

Episode 4:

Episode 5:

Episode 6:

Episode 7:

Episode 8:

Episode 9:

Episode 10:

Season 4 Episode Ideas (For richer or poorer)

Episode 1:

Episode 2:

Episode 3:

Episode 4:

Episode 5:

Episode 6:

Episode 7:

Episode 8:

Episode 9:

Episode 10:

Season 5 Episode Ideas (In sickness and in health)

Episode 1:

Episode 2:

Episode 3:

Episode 4:

Episode 5:

Episode 6:

Episode 7:

Episode 8:

Episode 9:

Episode 10: Jake released from prison. Mike attempts to break out.

Season 6 Episode Ideas (Til death do us part)

Episode 1: Mike and his buddies break out. US Marshalls on their tail. Jake searching for his new wife and Lupe.

Episode 2: Jake discovers Lupe is a bigamist.

Episode 3:

Episode 4:

Episode 5:

Episode 6:

Episode 7:

Episode 8:

Episode 9:

Episode 10: Jake finds Lupe sinking in quicksand. He agrees to free her if she discloses the location of his new wife. Once he has the intel, he drops her back in the quicksand to beg for mercy from her other four husbands.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Five Seasons

What I learned: The season titles actually helped me frame the key turning points for each season and elevated my concept even more. I came up with six seasons instead of five and decided to leave the last season open, in case the producer wants to keep it running beyond season 6. All subject to change.

1. Brainstorm to find the arc of the entire journey, from Season One to Five.

Gullible FBI agent regains his self-respect and seeks revenge after being tormented and framed by his ex-wife for crimes she committed.

2. Brainstorm the Stair Step version.

Season 1: Wife frames husband for forgery.
Season 2: Husband goes to prison.
Season 3: Eldest son discovers ex-boyfriend is really
their father and that Lupe is married to four other men.
Season 4: Jake’s wife bankrupts him and seeks sole
custody of their kids while he is in prison.
Season 5: Mike goes to prison to kill Jake so he can’t
testify against Lupe.
Season 6: Jake released from prison and seeks revenge
on Lupe in the jungles of Peru with other husbands with machetes, breaking
through vines, etc., searching for wife. While Mike searches for him and
US Marshalls search for Mike.

3. For each season, brainstorm the Building Blocks.

Season 1: To have and to hold

A. High Concept or major hook of the season: Gullible FBI
agent unwittingly marries career
criminal.
B. Big Picture Arc/Journey: From law-abiding
citizen/FBI agent to prime suspect in forgery investigation run by his
partner.
C. Main Conflict: Jake framed by his wife for crimes she
committed.
D. Mystery/Open Loops: Will Lupe get caught? Will Jake
prove their innocence?
E. Cliffhanger: Will Jake go to prison?

Season 2: From this day forward

A. High Concept or major hook of the season: FBI agent
goes to prison for wife’s crimes, because she gaslit him into believing he
did them.
B. Big Picture Arc/Journey: From doormat to respected
inmate.
C. Main Conflict: Trying to navigate and survive new
life in prison.
D. Mystery/Open Loops: Will Jake realize he is not
guilty?
E. Cliffhanger: Did Jake kill inmate who attacked him?

Season 3: For better or worse

A. High Concept or major hook of the season: Eldest son
discovers Jake is not his father and that his mother has four other
husbands.
B. Big Picture Arc/Journey: From framed to furious.
C. Main Conflict: Jake torn between staying married and
divorcing the woman who framed him.
D. Mystery/Open Loops: How did Dolores get to be crime
boss? What lengths will she go to keep her daughter Lupe out of her way? Why
does Jake stay with Lupe even after he realizes she framed him?
E. Cliffhanger: Will Lupe’s ex-boyfriend learn that
Mike and Carlos are his? Will Jake find out?

Season 4: For richer or poorer

A. High Concept or major hook of the season: Jake
learns his wife is not only a career criminal, but also a bigamist.
B. Big Picture Arc/Journey: Devoted father and husband
sets out to frame his criminal wife who bankrupted him and sought sole
custody of his kids while he was in prison.
C. Main Conflict: Family man wants to divorce his wife.
Learns his kids aren’t his.
D. Mystery/Open Loops: Will Lupe get caught? Why does
Mike follow orders from his mother that endanger him?
E. Cliffhanger: Will Mike go to prison to get even with
his father?

Season 5: In sickness and in health

A. High Concept or major hook of the season: Mike goes
to prison to kill father so Jake cannot testify against his mother.
B. Big Picture Arc/Journey: After altercation with son,
Jake is in the infirmary. Has two broken arms and three broken ribs from
altercation with son in prison. Mike is in the hole for nearly killing his
father. (From near-death to stronger than ever)
C. Main Conflict: Jakes loves his son, even though he
isn’t his bio son. His son wants him dead.
D. Mystery/Open Loops: Why does Mike hate Jake so much?
Will Jake tell Mike the truth about Lupe and his true father?
E. Cliffhanger: Will Mike escape from prison?

Season 6: Till death do us part

A. High Concept or major hook of the season: FBI agent
abandons his core values and seeks revenge on ex-wife.
B. Big Picture Arc/Journey: Jake released early on good
behavior. Sets out to kill ex-wife with her four other husbands.
C. Main Conflict: Jake wants revenge. Ex is off the
grid and cannot be found. Mike is a fugitive and after Jake. US Marshalls are
after Mike.
D. Mystery/Open Loops: Why is Lupe is married to four
other men? Where is she? Will Jake and the other husbands find her?
E. Cliffhanger: Is Lupe alive? Will Jake get caught by Feds?
Will Mike escape the Marshalls or will Jake handle it himself?

4. Write a description of each season and give us the 5 seasons.

Season 1: To have and to hold

Jake, a gullible FBI agent unwittingly marries Lupe, a career criminal whose mother is a crime boss and Santeria queen. Lupe runs a forgery scheme to make millions. When the feds catch wind of it, she frames Jake for her crimes, making this law-abiding citizen/federal agent the prime suspect in a forgery investigation that is run by his partner. Jake is incredulous at the charges and while under a Santeria spell cast by his mother-in-law (Dolores), confesses to all of the crimes Lupe committed.

Season 2: From this day forward

Jake is sentenced to five years in federal prison, FBI agent goes to prison for wife’s crimes, because she gaslit him into believing he did them and her mother’s spell to sway the jury worked. While navigating his new life in prison, he starts out as a doormat but by the end of the season he is well respected and feared. When an inmate attacks Jake, he chokes him violently.

Season 3: For better or worse

Unable to kill the other inmate, Jake releases his grip and gains elite status on his bloc. While Jake is rising in prison status, his eldest son discovers Jake is not his father and that his mother has four other husbands. When Jake finds out he was framed by his wife, he is torn between staying married and divorcing the woman who framed him. Dolores murders her husband to become crime boss by giving him a Santeria tincture that is undetectable in autopsies and mimics cardiac arrest. When Lupe finds out, their relationship becomes estranged. Carlos is torn between keeping his secret and confronting his mom and real father.

Season 4: For richer or poorer

Carlos confronts his mother and her ex-boyfriend while he is over for dinner. He threatens to tell Jake unless she does X. Carlos tells his dad everything, leaving Jake to process his wife is a two-timing bigamist who is not the biological father of his two kids. To add insult to injury, Lupe’s lavish lifestyle bankrupts Jake and they are forced to foreclose on their house. After processing the news that Lupe is back with her boyfriend and she is seeking sole custody of their kids, Jake sets out to frame her for the crimes she accused him of committing. Lupe instructs Mike to get caught for other crimes she has committed while Jake has been in prison, so he can prevent his father from testifying aginst Lupe.

Season 5: In sickness and in health

Mike is sentenced to ten years in prison and is furious at his father for trying to convict his mother of crimes he thinks Jake committed. After altercation with son, Jake is in the infirmary. Has two broken arms and three broken ribs from altercation with son in prison. Mike is in the hole for nearly killing his father. Jake rises from the proverbial ashes and goes from near-death to stronger than ever. Jakes loves his son, even though he isn’t his bio son. Unfortunately, Mike still wants to kill him. Jake tries to reason with Mike but when Mike comes after him again with a shiv, he almost tells him but an alarm sounds and the power cuts off and Mike runs off to escape.

Season 6: Till death do us part

Mike is a fugitive being hunted down by US Marshalls after his prison break. Jake abandons his core values and seeks revenge on his ex-wife. When he is released, he gets in touch with Lupe’s other husbands (with Carlos’s assistance) and then sets out to kill his ex-wife with the help of her four other husbands who also want revenge and were framed for her crimes and also bled dry financially. Carlos helps locate Lupe who is in the jungles of Peru. As they hunt Lupe down, Mike is after Jake to protect Lupe, and the US Marshalls are after Mike. This battle will either play out and end the series or the season will end as a cliffhanger to allow for additional season(s).

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Character Descriptions

What I learned: Each character relies on the other. I like how the opposing traits and agendas create more drama/intrigue for the story.

Select a main character and answer the following questions:

Who is the character? Jake Kennedy Role in the show? Protagonist; father; husband; FBI agent Noteworthy traits: Loyal, gullible, trusting, law-abiding, bad temper Intriguing history: Always dates/ends up with the wrong girl. Intrigue? Mystery? FBI agent unwittingly marries a career criminal; what will happen? How did he make it in the academy? How do they support or drive the conflict with others? Officer of the law married to crook; MIL hexes him. Irony — Opposites or paradoxes that exist with the character: Gullible FBI agent Opposing agendas/etc. that naturally causes conflict with other characters: FBI agent unwittingly married to career criminal Unpredictable? Has a bad temper. Keeps it all in, until he explodes. Intriguing relationship with one or more characters: Married to career criminal; MIL Santeria queen and crime boss; sons not his; one hates and wants to kill him; the other hates the mother and wants to protect father; four other active husbands she has done this

Organize the answers and choose which you are going to use in your description of that character.

Sequence the info and write a START, MIDDLE, and END. Write a ROUGH DRAFT of the character description.

Start: Loyal husband and father has a wife who is committing adultery and crimes without his knowing.

Middle: He is set up for mail fraud by his wife. MIL hexes him to sway jury.

End: Completely caught off guard when his partner comes to take him in for questioning. He must now fight to regain his freedom and put the real criminal in prison.

Character description: A loyal husband and father soon learns that his wife isn’t who he thought she was. When he is arrested for mail fraud, he asks his partner to investigate the fraud. When he finds out he was set up, he is furious and plots his revenge.

Select a main character and answer the following questions:

Who is the character? Lupe Kennedy Role in the show? Antagonist; con artist; wife of Jake Kennedy; Noteworthy traits: Criminal; duplicitous; chameleon; conniving, vengeful; charming Intriguing history: Career criminal Intrigue? Mystery? Charming; four other husbands; how does she keep getting away with her crimes? How do they support or drive the conflict with others? Sets up husband for mail fraud; married to four other husbands that she did the same thing to; constantly fighting with mother and Jake Irony — Opposites or paradoxes that exist with the character: Mother who trains her children to be criminals; charming woman who is manipulative and devious Opposing agendas/etc. that naturally causes conflict with other characters: Father furious when he finds out kids are in on the setup and that his wife framed him Unpredictable? Always scheming. Intriguing relationship with one or more characters. Mother is Santeria Queen. Husband is FBI agent. Four other husbands.

Organize the answers and choose which you are going to use in your description of that character.

Start: A career criminal chooses her next victim: A gullible FBI agent named Jake. She marries him as part of her plan to ruin his life for her own personal gain while running from her other four husbands who are trying to find, ruin, and expose her.

Middle: When her husband finds some unusual packages, she puts her ex-boyfriend on his tail to keep him in the dark.

End: When she testifies against her husband her mother hexes the jury to convict Jake of a crime he didn’t commit.

Character description: A career criminal marries a gullible FBI agent to ruin his life for her own personal gain while running from her other four husbands who are trying to find, ruin, and expos her. When she turns Jake in for her crimes, her mother uses Santeria to sway the jury to convict Jake.

Select a main character and answer the following questions:

Who is the character? Frank Lopez Role in the show? Jake’s partner at the FBI Noteworthy traits: Funny, suspicious, tenacious, overachiever Intriguing history: Father was a legend at the bureau; feels pressured to fill his shoes Intrigue? Mystery? What is in his locked drawer at work? How did he become an alcoholic? How do they support or drive the conflict with others? Initially arrests Jake; then starts to investigate Lupe’s crimes; is hexed by Dolores Irony — Opposites or paradoxes that exist with the character; pretends to be happy, but really miserable Opposing agendas/etc. that naturally causes conflict with other characters Unpredictable? Sneaky; paranoid Intriguing relationship with one or more characters: Jake’s FBI partner; hates Lupe

Organize the answers and choose which you are going to use in your description of that character.

Start: An FBI agent hides his drinking problem at work while solving white collar crime.

Middle: When receiving an anonymous tip (from MIL), he investigates Jake for Lupe’s crimes.

End: When Jake pleads his innocence, Frank is convinced something is up and begins to investigate Lupe but first he must break the curse Dolores put on him.

Character description: An FBI agent with a drinking problem investigates his partner for mail fraud after receiving an anonymous tip. When he catches wind of a setup, Jake’s MIL puts a hex on Frank to confuse the truth and prevent him from defending Jake. But Frank doesn’t believe in hexes, so he is immune to her powers and works to prove Jake’s innocence.

Select a main character and answer the following questions:

Who is the character? Dolores Garcia Role in the show? Mother, MIL, crime boss, Santeria queen Noteworthy traits: Sneaky, vicious, duplicitous, narcissist Intriguing history: Poisoned husband to take over family business Intrigue? Mystery? Santeria queen; why did she want to be a crime boss How do they support or drive the conflict with others? Wants SIL in prison; works with Lupe to set him up Irony — Opposites or paradoxes that exist with the character: Grandmother Crime Boss; devout Catholic/Santeria queen Opposing agendas/etc. that naturally causes conflict with other characters: Wants to frame Jake; Jake wants to plead his innocence; jealous of daughter; threatens to reveal her other marriages to control her Unpredictable? Very. Will hex you without giving it a second thought. Intriguing relationship with one or more characters: Teaching her grandkids the family business; jealous of daughter; frames son for mail fraud

Organize the answers and choose which you are going to use in your description of that character.

Start: A 65-year-old crime boss and Santeria queen poses as a caring granny while concealing her crimes and true nature/power from others.

Middle: Teams up with daughter to frame Jake for crimes her daughter committed, while teaching her grandkids Santeria and the ins and outs of white collar crime.

End: And hexes an entire jury to send her SIL to prison.

Character description: A 65-year-old crime boss and Santeria queen poses as a caring granny while concealing her crimes and true nature/power from others. Who teams up with her daughter to frame her SIL for crimes her daughter committed and teaches her grandkids about Santeria and money laundering. To keep her daughter out of prison, she hexes an entire jury and her SIL’s partner, so the SIL will take the fall for her daughter.

Select a main character and answer the following questions:

Who is the character? Carlos Kennedy Role in the show? Son of Lupe and ex-boyfriend Noteworthy traits: Smart, quiet, autistic, sneaky Intriguing history: Not Jake’s kid Intrigue? Asperger’s. Shuts down inside himself when he gets stressed. Mystery? Will he find out? Will he frame his own mother? What happened to him when he was younger to make him hate his mother? How do they support or drive the conflict with others? Loves father and grandmother. Hates mother. Is inherently good and does not want to be a criminal. Irony — Opposites or paradoxes that exist with the character: Loves father but he’s not his real kid. Hates mother’s ex boyfriend. Does not want to be a criminal but loves his grandmother who is a Santeria Queen and crime boss. Opposing agendas/etc. that naturally causes conflict with other characters: The brains of the operation but doesn’t want to be a criminal. Discovers his mother is married to four other men. Grandmother teaches him the ways of Santeria and is priming him to take over the business instead of her daughter who hates her mother and wants her out of the picture so she can run the business. Unpredictable? Will he tell his dad about the four other husbands? Will he keep it a secret? Does not follow his mother’s instructions. Goes behind her back and works with Frank to save his father by betraying his mother and grandmother. Intriguing relationship with one or more characters: A natural at money laundering. Is his grandmother’s favorite.

Organize the answers and choose which you are going to use in your description of that character.

Start: The Rainman of computers and a natural at money laundering, Carlos is the son of Lupe and her ex-boyfriend. He is his grandmother’s favorite and is being primed to take over the family crime business, much to the chagrin of his mother.

Middle: Carlos does not want to be a criminal and decides to use his powers for good. When he discovers his mother is married to four other men, he must decide whether to warn his father or confront his mother.

End: Because he loves Jake and doesn’t want him to go to prison, he pretends to be working for his grandmother, while secretly working with Frank to bring the truth to light.

Character description: The Rainman of computers and a natural at money laundering, Carlos is being primed to take over the family business, much to the chagrin of his mother who has her other son Mike keep close tabs on him. Carlos does not want to be a criminal and decides to use his powers for good. When he discovers his mother is married to four other men, he uses it as leverage to get his mother to confess to her crimes while he works with Frank to restore Jake’s reputation and make a case against his mother, who is the one responsible for the crimes.

Select a main character and answer the following questions:

Who is the character? Mike Kennedy Role in the show? Son of Lupe and ex-boyfriend Noteworthy traits: Asshole, lazy, vengeful, crooked Intriguing history: Has been helping his mother commit crimes since he was eight years old. Intrigue? Working with mother to frame Jake. Mystery? What happened to make him want to harm his father? How do they support or drive the conflict with others? Framing his father. Jealous of brother. Irony — Opposites or paradoxes that exist with the character. Catholic that practices Santeria. Loves animals, hates people. Opposing agendas/etc. that naturally causes conflict with other characters: Is supposed to work with brother to frame Jake. Brother is working against him. Unpredictable? Ran away from home at the age of nine. Loose cannon. Cannot keep secrets. Will stab you in the back without giving it a thought. Intriguing relationship with one or more characters: Relationship with mother and grandmother. He is jealous of his brother and is always trying to shit talk him to his mother and grandmother to garner favoritism, which always backfires.

Organize the answers and choose which you are going to use in your description of that character.

Start: Son of Lupe and her ex-boyfriend, Mike is a jerk, lazy, and too stupid to be a good criminal. He is the braun of the operation, where his brother is the brains.

Middle: He has been helping his mother and grandmother commit crimes since he was eight and is jealous of his brother Carlos who is his mother and grandmother’s favorite.

End: Determined to win favoritism, he commits crimes for his mother and grandmother and helps her frame Jake for their crimes.

Character description: The son of Lupe and her ex-boyfriend Marco, Mike is your basic lazy asshole, who mouths off to his parents and is too stupid to be good at crime, so he is the braun of the operation. Has been helping his mother and grandmother commit crimes since he was eight. Fiercely jealous of his brother Carlos, he is always trying to make his brother look bad to garner favoritism from his mother and grandmother.

[Diana Ceres]

Unable to post my assignment. Maybe it’s too long? I will try again tomorrow. Have had this issue a few times this course.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Intriguing Concept and World

What I learned: This formula rocks. It helped me elevate my initial concept and make it more intriguing and unique for producers and viewers.

Present your concept and world.

1. Present your Concept.

A. Engaging and highly proactive hero…FBI agent
B. …up against a major conflict…unwittingly marries a
career criminal
C. …goes on unique transformational journey…who commits
the very crimes he investigates
D. …Into an intriguing world. and is then framed for
her crimes with the help of Santeria to sway the jury.

2. Tell us the World of this show.

Unique Sub-World: Santeria, white-collar crime
Previously unexplored: Mother-in-law is Santeria Queen
and Crime Lord
The unknown: Wife is a con-artist and married to four
other men whom she did the same thing to. His two kids aren’t his.
The unseen: FBI investigation; wife poisons kids
against father; one of his “sons” is blatantly committing crimes to get
imprisoned so he can kill his father.
Unheard of Dangers: Being hexed by mother-in-law, being sent to prison, being killed by son. Reason to explore it: Wants
to prove his innocence and get back at his wife.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana Ceres completed her BW framework.

Exchange option B: Pro feedback from SU

What I learned: This was awesome. By creating the framework, I learned so much more about my characters and the story, and it was like the framework elevated the concept and the characters.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Creating Irony!

What I learned: Irony adds
another layer to the story.

Assignment 1

Watch the next episode of your Example Show and notice where irony shows up in this show — both in this episode and throughout the episodes you’ve already seen.

Tell us the irony you have already discovered in the Example Show.

Mr. Robot:

Elliot: network security engineer by day, hacker by night; name of Elliot’s employer (Allsafe); employer thinks Elliot is a hero, but Elliot just gave hackers a way into his network; Elliot fought to save Shayla (who was already dead); Tyrell a shoe-in for CTO/gets passed up for promotion; Shayla was killed because of Elliot; boss tells Elliot to find someone he can be his honest self with, a hacker/dishonest person; tells his boss it’s good advice even though he means the opposite; execs talking about the dirty deeds similar to what Tyrell is doing in front of Tyrell; Angela has to do something dangerous to get her dad out of danger; Elliot decides to get back into hacking; his dog eats his chip; CTO of Evil Corp is presented as someone who will change the company for the good; man sleeping his way to the top. Tyrell lures someone to the roof under the guise of sex so he can kill her. Elliot shows up at therapy after giving the therapist the impression he wasn’t coming back. He lets her know he’s hacking her and monitoring her life. And that she isn’t a good therapist. Confesses that he hacks everyone. Elliot and therapist are more alike than they appear on the surface.

Assignment 2

Look back through your previous assignments and find at least 20 different situations or character components that you could go opposite to create irony. With each, brainstorm ways it could go opposite.

1. Husband devoted to wife: Husband hates wife just as much as she hates him

2. Wife has kid to delay prison sentencing: Husband sells kid while she is in prison

3. Wife cheating on husband: Husband also cheating on wife

4. Wife a career criminal: Husband an FBI agent

5. Wife married to five other men: Husband married to four other women

6. Wife has ties to the NJ Mafia: Husband working a sting to bring down her cousins

7. Mother in law curses son-in-law: Mother-in-law, a devout Catholic placing curses on others

8. Mother-in-law a career criminal: Married to a US Marshall

9. Wife convicted of forgery: Husband set her up

10. Wife wants to be in the Mafia. Mafia puts a hit on her because she screwed up a job her cousin let her do.

11. Wife asks for child support. Husband demands paternity test, which proves they aren’t his.

12. Wife wants husband to divorce her so she can get alimony. Husband takes her to court for adultery.

13. Husband framed by wife for same crime she was imprisoned for.

14. Husband hunts down wife while kid hunts him down while US Marshalls hunt down kid.

15. Gullible husband: Conniving wife

16. Mother-in-law sweet on the outside, bitter on the inside.

17. Psychopath marries shrink.

18. Psychopath pretends to be a shrink.

19. Psycho wife sets up a psychotherapy practice.

20. Wife has five aliases and is plotting against husband. Husband sets up a sting to take her down.

21. Wife catches wind of sting and sets up husband for her own crime.

Select the ones that work well for the show and share the character and situational irony ideas with us.

1. Wife a career criminal: Husband an FBI agent

2. Wife has ties to the NJ Mafia: Husband working a sting to bring down her mafia cousins

3. Mother-in-law a career criminal: Son-in-law an FBI agent

4. Wife convicted of forgery: Husband set her up

5. Husband framed by wife years later for same crime she was imprisoned for.

6. Husband hunts down wife when he gets out of prison while kid hunts down father while US Marshalls hunt down kid who busted out of prison.

7. Gullible husband: Conniving wife

8. Mother-in-law sweet on the outside, bitter on the inside.

9. Psycho wife sets up a psychotherapy practice to commit insurance fraud.

10. Wife is plotting against husband to set him up for another prison sentence. Husband sets up a sting to take her down and gets accused of another crime she committed.

[Diana Ceres]

Watch the next episode of your Example Show and notice how layers show up in this show — both in this episode and throughout the episodes you’ve already seen.

Tell us the layers you have discovered in the Example Show.

Mr. Robot Plot layers: Story beneath the story

Major scheme revealed: Mr. Robot wants Elliot to help
him take down Corporate America
Mystery revealed: Elliot
Thought the story was one thing, but it is another: Elliot
is hacker working for cybersecurity company that he plans to betray
Major shift in Meaning: Elliot is disloyal
Hidden history: Blackmails degenerates into doing the
right thing
Hidden plan: To make his employer think he is a hero
while granting hackers access to their mainframe
Major betrayal: Lets Fsociety hack his employer’s
mainframe

Mr. Robot CHARACTER LAYERS – identity beneath the identity.

Secret identity: Mr. Robot/head of Fsociety
Character Intrigue: Elliot working for Mr. Robot
Hidden relationships and conspiracies: Elliot betraying
his employer
Hidden Character history: Elliot is a
blackmailer/hacker

Discover the layers that could exist for your show.

1. Brainstorm a list of possible PLOT layers.

PLOT LAYERS – Story beneath the story.

Major scheme revealed: Wife is a criminal
Mystery revealed: Not her first offense
Thought the story was one thing, but it is another:
Thought he was happily married
Major shift in Meaning: Marriage is doomed
Hidden history: Kids aren’t his
Hidden plan: Destroy husband while sucking him dry
Major betrayal: Career criminal; adulterer

2. Brainstorm a list of possible CHARACTER layers.

CHARACTER LAYERS – identity beneath the identity.

Secret identity: Wife is career criminal
Character Intrigue: She is a conartist
Hidden relationships and conspiracies: Wife is married
to five people
Hidden Character history: Marries men to get their
money and set them up for her crimes

3. Organize them each into a possible sequence of reveals.

Plot Surface:

Layer 1: BBQ
Layer 2: Burning checks from old account
Layer 3: Wife steals some of the old checks
Layer 4: Wife spends bad checks

Character Surface:

Layer 1: Doting wife
Layer 2: Caring husband
Layer 3: Supportive mother-in-law

Layer 4: Friend of family

[Diana Ceres]

ASSIGNMENT 1

Diana’s Big Picture Open Loops

What I learned: The more open loops, the better. Adding them to my writing, makes for a more engaging script.

1. Think about your Example Show. Make a list of the Big Picture open loops that were established early in the season.

Elliot and his best friend almost kiss. Will something more come of it? Elliot and his drug dealer sleep together. Will something more come of it? Elliot tracks down and exposes people online. Will he get caught? Mr. Robot and Tyrell recruiting Elliot. Who will win out? Tyrell knows Elliot got the CTO of Evil Corp fired. How did he know and what will he do with this information? Will he blackmail Elliot? Will he tell his employer? Elliot’s boss suspicious of him. Will he get caught? Will Elliot kick the morphine habit? Will he and Mr. Robot’s crew succeed? Will they get caught?

Watch
the next episode and see how those open loops are being used to create the need
to see future episodes. Who can you trust? Ecorp? Fsociety? How does Mr. Robot
always know where Elliot is? What is his interest in Elliot? What is Elliot’s
role in Fsociety? Has is Mr. Robot always several steps ahead? Who is Mr.
Robot? Will Tyrell get back in the game?Is Elliot going to live? Will he spring
the guy out of jail? Why did Angela visit the former CTO of Ecorp? Is Shayla
going to live? Will Elliot try to get revenge on the fugitive? Will the
fugitive get caught? Will he continue to haunt Elliot?

ASSIGNMENT 2:

1. Use this list to brainstorm big picture open loops for your first season that you will use to keep the audience captivated.

GOALS:

New goals? Wife: To not get caught. Husband: To have a
normal marriage and advance in career.
Goals related to the big picture? Wife: Destroys others.
Husband: Cleans up her messes.
Crushed goals? Marriage
is not normal.
Competition / conflict around goals? Wife wants to
cheat her way into luxury.

CONSEQUENCES:

Are they going to be caught? Yes. Cops at door at end
of pilot.
Problems created from past actions? Yes. Thief.
Con-artist.
Good plans gone wrong? Husband wanted a normal
marriage, but it went sideways.

SOLVING PROBLEMS:

What is the major problem for this character? Wife: Thief/Con-artist
doesn’t want to get caught. Husband: Going bankrupt to support her
lifestyle.
What are they trying to solve? Wife: Shortcut to
wealth. Husband: Keep his normal world together.
Major change imposed on character? Mother-in-law moves
in because she foreclosed on her house. Asks daughter to get husband to purchase
life insurance.
Previous solutions cause new problems? Mother-in-law
despises son-in-law and tries to poison him or maybe has a curse put on
him

RELATIONSHIPS:

Relationships in peril? Marriage on the rocks
New relationships forming? Mother-in-law
Conflict inside relationships? Daughter and mother are
conning the husband
Relationships changing? Yes. The husband is being
scammed by his own wife.

DANGER / SURVIVAL / RISKS:

Can they survive X? Husband thinks their marriage can.
Putting themselves in danger / making dangerous
decisions? Wife is.
Who else is pulled into their danger? Husband.
Internal dangers (drug addiction, need for medicine,
inner demons)? Wife is sociopath.

1. Tell us your top 5-8 Big Picture Open Loops that could be in your pilot.

Will wife get caught for fraud/theft?

Will wife go to jail?

Will husband get sucked into her world?

Will husband catch wife cheating?

Is MIL in cahoots with the
daughter?

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Show Mysteries

What I learned: The importance of having mystery in each episode as well as incorporating it into the season. The framework given is helpful in accomplishing that.

Assignment 1

Watch the next episode of your Example Show and focus on the mysteries that have been created in that show. Also, notice the difference between the big picture mysteries that are a big part of the plot across the entire season versus the smaller mysteries. Tell us about the mysteries from this show.

Mr. Robot

The underworld of hacking.

Type of Mystery: Over time

Main (Core) Mystery:

Who Is Mr. Robot? And why is he called that? What is his interest in Elliot? And will Fsociety be able to change the world?

Smaller Mysteries (this episode): Why was Tyrell at Steel Mountain? What did Tyrell sign in front of Elliot? How did Tyrell know that Elliot got the CTO of Ecorp fired? Why did Tyrell hit on the new CTO’s wife? Why didn’t Amanda’s father tell her about his health and debt? Why is Elliot’s apartment open? And what does the inmate on the phone mean when he told Elliot that he was brought right to him?

Assignment 2

Create two mysteries for your show — one that shows up strong in the Pilot and the other that is revealed over time.

1. Create your Shocking Event Mystery and tell us the WWWW and H, along with the part withheld.

A. Shocking Event: Wife calls husband from jail to
bail her out.
B. Secret: Wife committed mail fraud but didn’t tell
husband
C. Investigation: She is a psychopath and will stop
at nothing to get what she wants.
WWWW and How: Commits forgery by signing bad checks
from closed account.
Part Withheld: She framed the
husband because he wouldn’t take the fall for her. [The same people who
knocked on the door for her at the beginning are now coming after the
husband at work.]
2. Create the Over Time Mystery
and tell us the WWWW and H, along with the part withheld.

A. Cover up: She is a career criminal.
B. Secret: Her
family is in the mafia.
C. Reveals: 1. First born is not husband’s
kid. 2nd born conceived to delay prison sentence 3. While in prison starts
dating drug dealer. 4. Mother-in-law is voodoo priestess and curses
husband who goes bankrupt while wife is in prison.
WWWW and How: Was taught by the family. Uses several
aliases. When she ruins one husband, she marries again and repeats the
shakedown.
Part Withheld: She is a psychopath who marries men to
destroy their lives for her own personal gain and is legally married to five
other men.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Show Empathy/Distress

What I learned: It’s important to create big picture empathy/distress for the series. And you will also need detailed empathy/distress in each episode to work in tandem with the big picture empathy/distress built into the structure of the series.

Assignment 1

1. Watch the next episode of your Example Show and focus on the Empathy/Distress that shows up in this episode and throughout the season so far.

2. Notice the difference between Big Picture Empathy/Distress and detail oriented Empathy/Distress. Big Picture will have an impact across multiple episodes.

Mr. Robot:

Big Picture Empathy Distress: Help Mr. Robot or His Employer; pressure on Elliot to get into Stone Mountain’s server; pressure on him to change the world; dangerous/risky work of Fsociety; Elliot has depression and social anxiety; morpheine addict.

Detail-Oriented Empathy Distress: banging on door; other members of team suspicious of Elliot; detox for Elliot was difficult; Angela’s boyfriend is a douche/cheating on her. Elliot hallucinates while detoxing: Elliot goes to drug house and no morpheine and shoots up heroin with a used needle. Elliot shot. Tyrell in Elliot’s apratment when he comes home with a mysterious key. All a halllucination while detoxing. Angela inadvertently installs malware on employer’s server. Almost gets caught.

Assignment 2

1. Make a list of BIG PICTURE difficult situations and decisions your characters could make because of the main conflict of this series.

Wife: Wants to join mafia. Cousin gives her a shot. She fucks things up royally and a hit is put on her. But she rats out her cousin to avoid getting killed and is given immunity/sent to another state for witness protection, which is where she meets a gullible man and gets him to marry her. She cheats on him. Their first kid is not his. Second kid is his but she seduced him to sleep with her so she could get pregnant and delay her prison sentence. Now husband has two kids and must take care of them while she holds him hostage as she is in prison with a lie that keeps him tied to her for decades.

Husband: Marries a criminal. Pays for it the rest of his life.

Kids: Choose to be with their mom. Become criminals, too.

Mother-in-law: The ringleader behind all the schemes. Husband forced by wife to give all his bonus money and earnings to her, so she can live comfortably.

Just ask: “Knowing the concept, what are the big picture Empathy/Distress situations that could occur?”

A. Undeserved misfortune: Guy marries criminal who is
abusive.
B. External Character conflicts: Wife goes to prison.
Wants husband to take the fall for her and makes him pay for it for decades because he won’t.
Wants him to suffer.
C. Plot intruding on life: Guy depressed. Feels like a
failure. Can’t catch a break. Becomes morbidly obese. Congestive heart failure. Almost dies. D. Moral dilemmas: Wife a criminal: Divorce her or help
her out of her mess?
E. Forced decisions they’d never make: Wife leaves him
when she gets out of prison. She lied to him so he would keep her
comfortable in prison and not divorce her. He doesn’t divorce her, even
though they are separated, because he will have to pay alimony on top of
child support.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Life-Threatening Sequence

What I learned: Raise the stakes. Raise the stakes. Raise the stakes.

What is the Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger? To recover the mind-control chip at any cost.

What other potential dangers could your Hero experience as they try to solve the mystery and confront the Villain?

Threats
Talking about the danger
Physical danger
Surveillance / watched
Chased
Lured into a dangerous situation
Closeness to the villain
Trapped / Abducted / Arrested
Danger to someone they know
People around them die or are injured.
Stalked
Thugs or professionals hired to hurt them.
Presence of weapons or thugs

Someone operating covertly around them.

1. Husband killed

2. She is run off road

3. Receives threatening calls

4. Knife to throat

5. House and phones bugged

6. Car chase

7. Cornered by hit man

8. Kidnapped

9. Best friend’s husband after her

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Show Relationship Map

What I learned: It’s really cool to look at the relationships among each of the characters. Plotting it out this way helps me see the key elements of the relationships that I will incorporate into their actions, motivations, dialog, etc. later.

The tables don’t paste well. Sorry for that.

Part 1: Apply to Mr. Robot:

Elliot Mr. Robot Elliot’s Boss Tyrell

Surface Colleagues Employee/Boss Employee/Boss

Common Ground Hacker Computer savvy Computer savvy

Conflict Elliot doesn’t take his advice. Elliot is going to betray him Elliot is a threat to Tyrell. Tyrell is a threat to Elliot.

History Strained Strained Strained

Subtext I need you. Don’t make stupid mistakes. Left server vulnerable: Betrayal Wants Elliot to work for him:

Relationship Arc Intrigue to TBD Awkward to less awkward Not sure yet

Part 2: Apply to My Show

Husband Wife Mother-in-Law Ex-Boyfriend of Wife

Surface Spouse Son-in-law Friend of family

Common Ground Married Family by marriage They’re both attracted to the same person.

Conflict She is breaking the law without his knowledge. She is breaking the law without his knowledge. Sleeping with his wife.

History Mercurial Strained Strained

Subtext Please love me. I put up with you because you’re family. I don’t trust you.

Relationship Arc People-pleasing to pissed off Pretense to pissed Strained to Neutral

Wife Husband Mother-in-Law Ex-Boyfriend of Wife

Surface Spouse Daughter Friend of family

Common Ground Married Family Lovers

Conflict Husband won’t take the fall for her. Wants daughter to take the fall for her. She is married to someone else.

History Verbally and emotionally abusive Dysfunctional On again/off again

Subtext I don’t love you. When the shit goes down, I am going to rat you out. I am going to betray you.

Relationship Arc Married to separated Plotting to Pissed Fucking to Fucked

Mother-in-Law Daughter Son-in-Law Ex-Boyfriend of Wife

Surface Mother Son-in-law Friend of family

Common Ground Crooks, family Family, both like to cook Both are crooks

Conflict She won’t take the fall for her. She is breaking the law without his knowledge. TBD

History Dysfunctional Strained Opportunistic

Subtext I resent you. I am going to such you dry, mijo. I am using you.

Relationship Arc Plotting to pissed Cordial to strained Warm to Cool

<br clear=”all”>

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Character Emotions

What I learned: The emotional profile gives more depth to the character.

ASSIGNMENT 1: Example Show

Watch the next episode of your Example Show and create an Emotional Profile for two or three main characters in this show.

Mr. Robot

A. Hope: Take down the 1%. / Fear: Failing.

B. Want: Elliot on his team. / Need: Loyalty.

C. Base Negative Emotion: Anger / Public Mask: Laid back

D. Weaknesses: Impatient

E. Triggers: Betrayal.

F. Coping Mechanism: Fight back.

Elliot:

A. Hope: Justice. / Fear: Social interaction

B. Want: Morpheine, Catch the bad guy. / Need: Love and validation.

C. Base Negative Emotion: Sadness / Public Mask: Confident hacker

D. Weaknesses: Junkie, Socially awkward

E. Triggers: Bullies

F. Coping Mechanism: Shut down/avoid.

Tyrell:

A. Hope: Be CTO of company. / Fear: Failure.

B. Want: Power / Need: Validation

C. Base Negative Emotion: Anger / Public Mask: C-suite suit

D. Weaknesses: Volatile; temper.

E. Triggers: Being disrespected.

F. Coping Mechanism: Fight.

ASSIGNMENT 2: Your Show

1. For each of your main characters, brainstorm an Emotional Profile, filling in the following:

Husband

• A. Situational: Hope: Please spouse / Fear: Letting someone down

• B. Motivation: Want: Approval / Need: To be loved

• C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion: Anger / Public Mask: Government worker

• D. Weaknesses: Gullible, co-dependent

• E. Triggers: Injustice

• F. Coping Mechanism: Overeats

Wife

• A. Situational: Hope: To Con Others / Fear: Getting Caught

• B. Motivation: Want: To Take from Others / Need: Money

• C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion: Anger / Public Mask: Kind

• D. Weaknesses: Insecure, Greedy

• E. Triggers: Being told No

• F. Coping Mechanism: Insults, yells, lies, steals

Mother-in-law

• A. Situational: Hope: To Con Others / Fear: Getting caught

• B. Motivation: Want: To be taken care of / Need: Daughter to provide for her

• C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion: Greed / Public Mask: Sweet old lady

• D. Weaknesses: Greedy, lazy

• E. Triggers: Disrespect

• F. Coping Mechanism: Lies, Steals:

[Diana Ceres]

I will be ready to exchange this weekend.

Diana

[Diana Ceres]

ASSIGNMENT 1:

Diana’s Intriguing Character Layers

What I learned: It was fun going through all the layers. Makes me want to make the characters as intriguing as possible.

1. Think about your Example Show. Make a list of the places you’ve already seen Character Intrigue in the previous episodes.

Mr. Robot: The subculture of computer hacking; hacker who betrays his own company; hacker is kidnapped; hacker offered a job with competitor; hacker offered to join a secret hacking society; relationship between hacker and best friend; relationship between hacker and Mr. Robot; hacker is like an internet Dexter, ruining the lives of predators without getting caught.

2. Watch the next episode and see how Character Intrigue is being used to create the need to see more episodes. Each of the main characters are so well written and have so many layers with subtext in each character and built into the structure of the show that each episode leaves you hanging with another layer of intrigue, an open loop to make you want to watch the next one and the next one and the next one…

Deadline: 24 hours

ASSIGNMENT 2

1. For your Inner Circle characters, fill in any of the Intrigue items that apply.

Character Name: Wife
Role: Antagonist
Hidden agendas: Committing crimes without husband
knowing
Competition: With society; wants the best of everything
without having to work for it; greedy; wants all the money at any cost
Conspiracies: Mail fraud
Secrets: Sleeps with ex on the regular
Deception: Unfaithful; criminal; married for money;
doesn’t love husband
Wound: Raised by criminal parents
Secret Identity: Criminal

Character Name: Husband
Role: Protagonist
Hidden agendas: Get wife pregnant to keep her stuck in
the marriage
Competition: Other men vying for wife
Conspiracies: Pretends to go to gym when playing video
games with friends
Secrets: Doesn’t love wife
Deception: Hires PI to spy on wife when suspects her of
infidelity
Wound: Low self-esteem
Secret Identity: Gamer

Character Name: Mother-in-law
Role: Push daughter to commit more crimes
Hidden agendas: Frame daughter and husband so she can
take their house and money
Competition: Husband; wants to manipulate daughter and
he sometimes gets in her way
Conspiracies: Mail fraud, among others
Secrets: Steals from husband’s wallet; shoplifts
Deception: Pretends to love husband and grandkid
Wound: Divorced when she went to prison the second time
Secret Identity: Criminal

Character Name: Ex-boyfriend of wife
Role: Trickster
Hidden agendas: Steal wife back and frame husband for
crime that ex committed
Competition: Resents husband; wants wife to take him
back
Conspiracies: Befriends husband to get closer to wife
Secrets: Biological father of both kids
Deception: Sleeping with the wife
Wound: Wife dumped him for current husband
Secret Identity: Mafia captain

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Outline

What I learned: By setting aside my inner editor/critic and allowing myself to create anything, I completed my assignments faster than ever, and the outline was a snap! Not saying it’s perfect. It has holes and can be elevated. But I have a working draft that I can use to flesh out into an amazing contained script!

Title: TBD

Genre: Horror

Logline: When a woman’s best friend sets her up on a blind date with a cannibal to punish her for sleeping with her husband, the friend must convince the cannibal not to eat her.

Concept: Woman set up on blind date with a cannibal.

Main Conflict: Date finds out she is dinner!

Act 1:

INT. FRIEND’S HOUSE – DAY

Opening: Woman making passionate love with man in bed.

EXT. FRIEND’S HOUSE – SAME

Car pulls up and door SLAMS. Woman notice’s best friend’s car in driveway.

INT. FRIEND’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

Woman storms inside and rushes upstairs. Suspects her friend has been sleeping with her husband. When confronted husband says her friend’s car broke down on the way to work and he drove her in. Best friend hiding in closet hyperventilating. Wife backs down and goes downstairs to make lunch for them. Problem: Friend’s purse is on the counter. Scratch lunch. Wife storms out with friend’s purse, dialing a number on her phone.

INT. FRIEND’S HOUSE – EVENING

Suspecting friend invites bff over for dinner with a loser date she found on Tinder. Worst date ever.

Inciting Incident: Husband and friend sneak off and fuck in the bathroom. Wife finds condom in bathroom trash when cleaning up that night.

Turning Point: Wife goes on cannibal café and schedules a date with a cannibal for her friend to get her out of the picture/punish her for sleeping with her husband. Then wife calls friend and apologizes for horrible date and tells her she has a winner this time.

Act 2:

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Friend, oblivious to the dangerous setup, is talking on phone with wife (some back and forth because the last blind date was so awful); friend reluctantly agrees to go on blind date with guy on yacht even though she mentions she can’t swim and is skeptical of the outcome.

INT. YACHT – NIGHT

Friend arrives. Date is very handsome and all charm.

Boat takes off. Woman is nervous when her date tosses raw meat overboard, apologizing for thawing out the wrong cut of meat, and sees sharks gobbling down the meat.

Date notices she is nervous and says they are perfectly safe. Perhaps they should have some wine. Maybe a Cab Franc to go with their meal.

They go downstairs and the date locks her in a tiny bathroom.

She screams to be let out. Starts hyperventilating. Claustrophobic.

New plan: Forget dating. Get off the boat! But how? She can’t swim and there are sharks out there in the open waters! Scratch that. Kill the date? But how? What weapon does she have?

Plan in action: Scrambles through her purse and finds a pen. Since she cannot escape, she must kill her date.

Midpoint Turning Point: When he comes to get her, she stabs him in the leg with a pen. They struggle, etc. She loses the fight. Cannibal drags her to the kitchen by her hair.

Act 3:

INT. YACHT – NIGHT

Rethink everything: Wakes up drugged and tied to a chair. What now? Date is sharpening his knives and she’s zip-tied and told she is the main course!

New plan: Convince date not to eat her. Date is intrigued, but hungry. Once the sauce is ready, he releases her from the zip-tie and forces her to take something to knock her out.

She knocks the pill out of his hand. They wrestle on floor. They both have knives. Mexican standoff. What now? Cannibal drops his knife and kisses her. She drops hers and kisses him back. They end up making passionate love on the kitchen floor.

Turning Point: Huge failure/Major shift: He can’t eat her because he is falling for (and intrigued by) her. She can’t kill him, for the same reason. Friend won over by cannibal who shares how he came to enjoy the taste of human flesh. Curiosity wins out and she tries a human heart he fries up on the stove that he pairs with other “delectables.” Over dinner and a lovely bottle of that cab franc they plot to get revenge on her friend.

Act 4:

INT. BEST FRIEND’S HOUSE – DAY

Final plan: Secret Santa awards her a private chef dinner for two at her home.

EXT. BEST FRIEND’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Cannibal couple show up on doorstep with baskets of cooking supplies.

INT. BEST FRIEND’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Resolution: Cannibal couple eat husband and force friend to eat her husband before she becomes dessert.

[Diana Ceres]

Nothing to post until Part 2. I enjoyed creating the first draft of the outline by combining the different layers and character, location, and plot elements we have studied in the class.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Budget

What I learned: It’s pretty easy to increase or decrease the budget of any film by taking the factors below into consideration.

1. Run through this list and tell us how many ways you might be able decrease the budget for your project if that was required.

MAIN VARIABLES

Number of Locations: 2
Expensive locations: Instead of boat, I could have it take
place in man’s house and friend’s house. Two locations.
Number of characters: 4
Special effects: A few
Number of pages: 90
Crowd scenes: None
Stunts, Chase scenes, and Fight scenes: Fight and chase
scenes. No stunts.
Special sets: None

SECONDARY VARIABLES

Rights to music, brands, books, etc.: None
Explosions and Firearm: None
Kids — shorter work days, tutor on the set: None
Animals – need a wrangler, more time to shoot, Humane
Society: None
Weather — Rain, snow, wind, tornados: N/A
Water and underwater scenes: None
Night scenes: Two
Helicopters, aircraft, drone shots: none
Green screen work: None
Extensive Make-up: None
Archival Footage: None
Anything else dangerous that increases preparation time
and/or Insurance: No.

2. Then go through the list and tell us what you might add if your budget was quadrupled.

MAIN VARIABLES

Number of Locations: 8
Expensive locations: Historic homes; well-known
restaurant
Number of characters: 12
Special effects: Several.
Number of pages: 120
Crowd scenes: Several
Stunts, Chase scenes, and Fight scenes: Throughout. Special sets: Throughout.

SECONDARY VARIABLES

Rights to music, brands, books, etc.: Yes
Explosions and Firearm: Firearms
Kids — shorter work days, tutor on the set: Add baby
in last scene
Animals – need a wrangler, more time to shoot, Humane
Society: Dog of friend
Weather — Rain, snow, wind, tornados: Hurricane the night
of the date
Water and underwater scenes: Have main action take
place on a yacht in the middle of the ocean
Night scenes: Most of the movie
Helicopters, aircraft, drone shots: No
Green screen work: No
Extensive Make-up: No
Archival Footage: No
Anything else dangerous that increases preparation time
and/or Insurance. Unknown

[Diana Ceres]

Diana Writes Great Hope/Fear!

What I learned: Adding hope/fear ups the dramatic tension and elevates the quality of the writing.

Act 1:

Opening: Hope: Best friend of Protagonist driving.
Happy. Heads home in middle of day to relax. Fear: Her husband is in bed
with her best friend. Hope: Antagonist gets a phone call, asking if she
can come back to work. Fear: Antagonist refuses. Hope: Husband and friend
are finishing up. Maybe they will finish before the wife gets home. Trapped/Fear:
Wife arrives as they are putting on their shoes. Fear: Will husband be
able to make the bed before wife comes up the stairs? Fear: Will she find
her friend in the closet? Fear: Friend knows it’s her, because of the car
and purse on the counter. Hope: Wife gives him second chance if he answers
question truthfully. Husband lies to her about having an affair. Fear:
What’s she going to do now?
Inciting Incident: Fear: Friend goes on cannibal café
or some site like that and schedules a date for her friend to get her out
of the picture.
Turning Point: Hope for friend who set up the date.
Fear for the woman on the date. Fear: Friend agrees to goes on blind date
with cannibal on a yacht, which is taking off at sunset.

Act 2:

New plan: (Fear) Woman realizes she is not on a date.
She is dinner! Has to get off the yacht. But how? Fear: Claustrophic.
Locked in small bathroom. Starts hyperventilating.
Plan in action: Hope: Breaks zip-tie. Fear: Can’t
shimmy the lock free. Hope: Finds pen in purse to use as a weapon. Fear: Cannibal
knocks on door. Hope: Stands by door waiting to stab him with the knife.
Fear: Cannibal knocks her down. Hope: She recovers. Fear: He grabs the
pen. Hope she gets it back from hiim. Fear: He grabs her by the hair and
starts pulling her to the galley.
Midpoint Turning Point: Fear: He
zip-ties her to a chair, tighter this time. Hope: There is a struggle. She
might break free. Fear: He gets the upper hand. Hope: Then she gets the
upper hand. Fear: But he drugs her and out she goes.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Act 3:
Hope: Woman wakes up zip-tied her to a chair, tighter
this time. Her date is not there. Fear: Where is he? When’s he coming
back? Hope: She tries to break free. She did it before. Maybe she can do
it again. There is a struggle and she breaks free when the date returns
and she spits on him, causing him to slap her and the chair falls over and
she uses the momentum to break the zip-tie. Fear: He gets the upper hand
and catches her. Hope: Then she gets the upper hand. Etc. Neither wins. They
are equals, which frustrates them, because they are at a Mexican standoff.
Rethink everything: Hope: Woman is a Navy Seal on
leave. Fear: Man is not just a cannibal, he’s a former Army Ranger (dishonorable
discharge). Hope: She gets the upper hand. Fear: He gets the upper hand.
And as they are wrestling on the floor…Hope: The building frustration
results in passionate love-making where woman finds out her friend set her
up.
New plan: Hope: She can’t eat
her date because she has fallen in love with him and vice versa. Hope: When
woman learns she was set up, they plot to kill and eat her friend.
Turning Point: Huge
failure/Major shift: Hope: They try to abduct her conniving friend (Fear):
They fail and then something really bad happens.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Act 4:
Final plan: Cannibal couple anonymously “award” her
former best friend a private chef’s dinner at their home.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Cannibal
couple arrives at friend’s house.
Resolution: Cannibal couple eat husband and force
friend to eat her husband before she becomes dessert. ENVIRONMENT

Trapped /
Prisoner. Trapped on yacht on the high seas with a cannibal.
Claustrophobic.
She is locked in a tiny bathroom and is freaking out because she hates
enclosed spaces. Set that up early in the movie when her friend’s husband
pushes her in the bedroom closet when his wife shows up.
Dangerous. On
date in confined/remote space with a cannibal.
Restricting. Locked
in tiny room. Hands are zip-tied. Can’t breathe.
Not livable. Will
get eaten if she doesn’t figure a way out.
Hiding out

INCOMPATABILITY

Forced to deal
with each other: Friend set up on blind date with cannibal.
Opposing needs/desires.
Friend wants to date. Cannibal wants to eat his date.
Mind games.
Friend who set her up on blind date, wants to kill her. She doesn’t know
her friend found out about the affair.
Psychological
issues. Engraged friend attempts to have her friend killed for sleeping
with her husband. Both people on the date are psychopaths/cannibals.
Triggering each
other. They push each other’s buttons. Sexual tension. Opposites?

UNPREDICTABILITY

Not sure who or
what the real threat is! Audience learns both people on the date are cannibals.
Person on the
edge! Woman just realized she is dinner.
Could attack at
any moment. Woman in bathroom trying to figure a way out.
Out of control
situation. Two cannibals try to kill each other. Kill or be killed. Eat or
be eaten.

ISOLATION

Psychological
Issues
Loss of a companion
Left Alone: Locked
in bathroom.
Helpless: We
think the woman locked in the bathroom is helpless.

INCREASING TENSION

Ticking clock:
Has to figure a way out before the sauces are prepared.
Impending doom:
Is going to get eaten.
What’s the worst
that could happen? She is alive while being eaten.
What is this
character afraid of? Being eaten alive
How many things
could go wrong? She could stab her date. He could slash her thigh. The
yacht could crash into something. The friend who tried to have the other
friend killed ultimately gets killed by her bff.

DANGER

Threat: Going to
be eaten by cannibal.
Attack. Locked
in bathroom.
Injury. Both get
stabbed. Perhaps other injuries, like a broken arm, cracked ribs, etc.
Destruction. Boat
almost runs into a large ship.
Death. End of
movie friend’s husband is eaten and she is next.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s 4-Act Structure!

What I learned: When you have a good concept, the structure creates itself.

1. Tell us the following:

Concept: Woman set up on blind date with a cannibal.
Main Conflict: Date finds out she is dinner!

2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.

Act 1:

Opening: Best friend of Protagonist learns she has been
sleeping with her husband.
Inciting Incident: Friend goes on cannibal café or some
site like that and schedules a date for her friend.
Turning Point: Friend goes on blind date with cannibal
on a yacht.

Act 2:

New plan: Forget dating. Don’t get eaten!
Plan in action: Since she cannot escape, she must
either kill the cannibal or trick him into not eating her.
Midpoint Turning Point: Cannibal comes to bring her to
the kitchen.

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Kill or be eaten.
New plan: Kill date.
Turning Point: Huge failure/Major shift: She can’t eat
her date because she has fallen in love with him.

Act 4:

Final plan: Cannibal couple “award” her former best
friend a private chef dinner at their place.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Cannibal
couple arrives at friend’s house as the chefs.
Resolution: Cannibal couple eat husband and force
friend to eat her husband before she becomes dessert.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s 4-Act Structure!

What I learned: When you have a good concept, the structure creates itself.

1. Tell us the following:

Concept: Woman set up on blind date with a cannibal.
Main Conflict: Date finds out she is dinner!

2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.

Act 1:

Opening: Best friend of Protagonist learns she has been
sleeping with her husband.
Inciting Incident: Friend goes on cannibal café or some
site like that and schedules a date for her friend.
Turning Point: Friend goes on blind date with cannibal
on a yacht.

Act 2:

New plan: Forget dating. Don’t get eaten!
Plan in action: Since she cannot escape, she must
either kill the cannibal or trick him into not eating her.
Midpoint Turning Point: Cannibal comes to bring her to
the kitchen.

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Forget dating. Kill or be eaten.
New plan: Kill date.
Turning Point: Huge failure/Major shift: She can’t eat
her date because she has fallen in love with him.

Act 4:

Final plan: Cannibal couple buy her former best friend
a private chef dinner at their place.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Cannibal
couple arrives at friend’s house.
Resolution: Cannibal couple eat husband and force
friend to eat her husband before she becomes dessert.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Delivering Multiple Layers!

What I learned: Layers create mystery and intrigue and depth to your characters and your story. Do it!

1. Brainstorm potential plot layers.

Major scheme revealed: Put friend on blind date with creepy
guy to keep her away from her boyfriend and to punish her for sleeping with
her boyfriend. Mystery revealed: When he reveals his plan to eat her.
Thought it was one thing, but it is another: Thinks she’s
on a dinner date: She is the dinner. Major shift in Meaning: Dinner date/she’s the dinner
Hidden history:
Hidden plan: Cannibals plan to eat friend who set them up.

2. Brainstorm potential character layers.

Secret identity: Friend also cannibal
Intrigue layers: Date and friend are counterparts. Hidden relationships and conspiracies: Both cannibals conspire
to eat her bff. Hidden Character history: Best friend doesn’t know her
friend is a cannibal.

3. Brainstorm potential location layers.

Hidden operation: Eat date. Deeper meaning:
Trap to draw prey: Yacht at sea. Can’t escape. Unique sub-world: Cannibalism

4. Tell us about the layers you’ve chosen. Use this format with each of them:

Surface Layer: Woman going on blind date. Beneath That: Her date is a cannibal. How Revealed: He tells her she is dinner.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Character Journeys!

What I learned: I really like mapping out the character journey. I’ve never thought to do that before, and I think it will really help me create more engaging/in-depth characters, not just for contained scripts, but any script, be it for TV or film.

Best Friend

Beginning: Happy. Out with friends. Teases best friend about meeting someone.

Turning Point: Discovers her best friend is sleeping with her boyfriend.

Midpoint: Instead of getting mad, she gets even and creates a fake Tinder profile and finds the creepiest guy she can and sets her friend up with him to punish her.

Turning Point 2: Confronts boyfriend about affair. He denies it.

Dilemma: Forgive friend or leave boyfriend

3rd Act Climax: Surprised that date went well and accepts dinner invitation out of curiosity more than anything.

Ending: Is eaten by friend and her date.

Woman on Tinder Date

Beginning: Meaningless relationships. One-night stands.

Turning Point: Agrees to go on blind date.

Midpoint: Learns she is for dinner.

Turning Point 2: Tricks date and claims the upper hand somehow.

Dilemma: Eat or be eaten

3rd Act Climax: Mexican Standoff. They realize they can only win if they work together.

Ending: Realizes her date is her equal and joins forces with him to trick and eat her best friend to get back at her for trying to kill her.

Man on Tinder Date

Beginning: Cannibal, eating latest victim on his boat. Tosses remains aside in the ocean water.

Turning Point: Finds next victim on Tinder.

Midpoint: Reveals that his date is dinner.

Turning Point 2: Gets tied up by date.

Dilemma: Eat or be eaten

3rd Act Climax: Realizing they are both beaten at their own game, invites date to join him to get back at her friend by “thanking” her with a dinner invitation.

Ending: He and his new partner eat her friend. And drive away on boat after tossing remains overboard. Think Casablanca, “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful partnership…”

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Engaging Main Characters

What I learned: Focusing on
the questions I was able to create more interesting characters for my pilot. I
also saw more depth to the characters on the show I am watching. I love all the
layers in Mr. Robot and would love to be able to create them for my own
characters. Watch the next episode of your Example Show to see any places the lead characters might fit this model. Mr. Robot, Elliot, VP

Assignment 1: Tell us the name and Engaging Profile answers for at least one character from your example show.

Elliot

A. Role in the show: Protagonist/main character. To
help fsociety take down corporate America.
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Hacker who uses skills
to take the bad guys down
C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface? Betrays
his employer (a cybersecurity firm, ironically named Allsafe), blackmails
those who harm others;
D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they
crossing? Being asked to betray his employer by the VP of Evil Corp and
Mr. Robot
E. Unpredictable: What will they do next? Ex: After
saying he did not want to harm anyone, he shows up at the new fsociety
headquarters at the end of the episode.
F. Empathetic: Why do we care? He was abused and
neglected as a child. Mentally ill. Unhappy. Wants to do good, but the
target keeps moving.

Mr. Robot:

A. Role in the show: Antagonist.
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Hacker who recruits Elliot
to join fsociety.
C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface? He
D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they
crossing? Theft, invasion of privacy, murder
E. Unpredictable: What will they do next? Pushes Elliot
off bridge then invites him for a drink
F. Empathetic: Why do we care? He’s charming, whimsical,
interesting. We want to see what he does next, even though he’s a criminal.
He walks the gray line between good and bad. <div>

Assignment 2: Tell us the journey of your show. Antihero wants to create a new life that was better than her old one. Her parents are criminals. Her dad is in prison. Mom just got out. Along the way, she commits felonies and tries to pin them on her husband, while getting sent to prison.

2. Who are the main characters that will sell your show? Antihero and Hero and Mother of Antihero.

3. Answer these questions for each of those characters.

Antihero

A. Role in the show: Destroy others for personal gain
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Criminal (that keeps
getting caught)
C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface?
Conducts mail fraud and tries to pin it on husband.
D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they
crossing? Stealing from others. Lying to husband. Getting pregnant with first
kid by ex boyfriend at bachelorette party. Tries to get husband to take
the fall for her. Then seduces husband to delay prison sentence by nine
months by getting pregnant.
E. Unpredictable: What will they do next? Vicious,
mercurial, prone to violent outbursts. Vengeful. Holds grudges.
F. Empathetic: Why do we care? Victim. Learned crime
from her mother who has also served time with her. It’s all she knows. But
rather than feel sorry for her, we are drawn to her darkness to learn
about the underworld of white-collar crime.

Hero

A. Role in the show: To be a decades-long victim of the
antihero; learn to stand up for himself and set boundaries to heal old
wounds that brought him to her in the first place.
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Accountant.
Detail-oriented. Works for company that antihero steals from, which gets
him fired and almost thrown in prison.
C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface? Hates
his wife. Doesn’t want the kids.
D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they
crossing? Tries to help antihero get out of trouble. Feels stuck in marriage
because he has two kids he didn’t even want.
E. Unpredictable: What will they do next? Will he take
the fall for her? Will he report her?
F. Empathetic: Why do we care? He is being framed for a
crime his wife committed. He is miserable and starts overeating and
getting health issues from all the stress of being single parent. Has to sell house to keep
wife comfortable while in prison and moves into crowded apartment with the
kids and mother-in-law. Goes bankrupt after losing job while she is in prison. </div>

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Three Circles of Characters

What I learned: Let perfectionism go. Just leave it at the door and know it’s there for the taking when finalizing a script. It’s OK to fumble and send in imperfect assignments, and to keep going even if I don’t have all the answers yet or fully know how all the characters will interact. I didn’t realize there were so many circles the characters in shows ran in. It was fun to watch the show and designate who goes where. After reading the examples and doing the first assignment, the world of my show is starting to take shape.

ASSIGNMENT 1:

Watch the next episode of your Example Show to see how the characters fit into these three circles:

A. Main Characters Circle: Elliott, Mr. Robot, Elliot’s friend at work, VP of Evil Corp

B. Connected Circle: Elliot’s boss, Elliot’s therapist, Douchebag boyfriend, Elliot’s drug dealer

C. Environment Circle: Coworkers, Other hackers, Cheating boyfriend, people Elliot blackmails, Men in black, Drug Dealer’s supplier

Give us a quick list for each circle.

Deadline: 24 hours

ASSIGNMENT 2:

1. Create the three circles of characters for your show.

• A. Main Characters Circle: Antihero, Husband of Antihero, Antihero’s two kids,

• B. Connected Circle: Antihero’s mom, husband’s parents, husband’s siblings, Mafia cousins (police, FBI, priest, captains)

• C. Environment Circle: Attorneys, judge, FBI agents, school principal, DCF, inmates

2. Give us a one sentence description of each of the Main Characters.

Antihero: Psychopathic cunt who will stop at nothing to get what she wants.

Husband of antihero: Unsuspecting/gullible victim of antihero framed for mail fraud.

Kid 1: Autistic kid conceived at bachelorette party in New Jersey; born nine months to the day after the party. Quiet. Only eats Mac and Cheese and pizza. Poisoned against father by antihero.

Kid 2: Kid conceived by seducing husband in pool to delay her prison sentencing by 9 months. Throws tantrums on the regular. Lazy. Poisoned against father by antihero.

Antihero’s mom: Barnacle; speaks Spanish with antihero in front of husband to plot behind his back and say horrible things about him.

Husband of antihero’s parents: Suspicious of antihero but cannot convince their son not to marry her.

Siblings of husband: Sister jealous and always trying to get him in trouble. Brother alcoholic. Always asking for money.

Mafia cousin: Cop:

Mafia cousin: Bookie: Doesn’t want to give antihero a shot, because she’s an idiot.

Mafia cousin: FBI agent: Votes against giving antihero a shot.

Mafia cousin: Priest: Convinces brothers to give antihero a shot at the family business.

Antihero’s attorney: Incompetent.

Husband’s attorney: Gets him off on false charges and sends antihero to jail.

Judge: Exacting. Unsympathetic.

Inmates: Conspire with antihero to ruin husband’s life.

[Diana Ceres]

Mr. Robot’s 5 Star Model

What I learned: When a show has many layers and depth, it can be watched multiple times and still enjoyed, because you see something new each time.

Outline of Pilot:

Opening scene: Elliot ruining the career and life of the owner of the coffee houses who has an illegal child pornography site.

Scene on subway where Mr. Robot speaks to Elliott.

Gets to work: Asked to address the hack at work then friend confronts him about missing her birthday party.

Therapy session.

Awkward scene with friend’s boyfriend at work.

E-Corp arrives at work. Senior VP of Tech walks right up to Elliot, creating an awkard moment.

Scene with drug dealer.

Scene on steps reporting someone. He sees Mr. Robot talking to the men in black.

Scene where he “borrows” phone from therapist’s boyfriend.

Scene where Elliot is called in to address the hack in the middle of the night.

Elliot fixes the hack.

Scene on jet when boss outs himself.

Scene on subway when Mr. Robot invites Elliot to follow him.

Scene at hacker central.

Scene where Elliot questions everything.

Scene at Elliot’s when he and his friend find the drug dealer in his bed.

Scene where Elliot tries to research Mr. Robot online.

Scene on ferris wheel.

Scene at subway station, reinforces what Mr. Robot just told Elliot.

Scene at Elliot’s apartment where he researches the economy to decide what to do.

Scene at work with the feds. Elliot plans to turn in Mr. Robot but when they dismiss his friend in the meeting, he changes envelopes and turns in the CTO instead, realizing he is the real enemy.

Scene where Elliot is waiting for the CTO to get arrested.

Scene where Elliot finds Mr. Robot has cleared out.

Scene where Elliot threatens his therapist’s boyfriend and takes his dog.

Scene in therapy with sad therapist.

Scene with friend in office and they almost kiss and then the news comes out about CTO being arrested for hacking into his company’s server.

Scene in Times Square where Elliot learns the CTO has been arrested and taken by men in black to corporate boardroom (Ecorp?) where he finds the senior VP waiting for him among a sea of faceless suits.

On the second round I saw more of the max interest techniques and subtext. Also saw more of Elliot and Mr. Robot’s character traits. Elliot wasn’t protected as a child, so now he feels he needs to protect everyone else from the world, including animals. Whereas, Mr. Robot was brought up by a thief, so he steals people’s data now to create a better world, just like Elliot does, but on a much larger scale. Love the voiceover and the overflowing subtext and intrigue. Creates intrigue right off the bat by hearing the protagonist but not seeing him. Then he pulls us in further by saying what he is about to share with us is top secret. As the show progreses we learn bit by bit who Elliot is and how passionate he is about seeking justice and how he accomplishes it.

Big Picture Hooks
What is the big hook of this show? Hacker who works for a cybersecurity
company is hired by another hacker to take down corporate America. Amazing and Intriguing Characters: Elliot and Mr. Robot.
They are both mysterious. Elliot is a highly functional and intelligent
paranoid schizophrenic with a bad case of social anxiety. He doesn’t hack
for money; he hacks for social justice. Mr. Robot is a cavalier hacker who
doles out information on a need-to-know basis and interviews Elliot by
hacking into his employer’s server to see how he does and whom he will be
loyal to. Early on we see him talking to Elliot on the subway and wonder
who is that guy? Then we see him near Elliot on the streets of New York
and wonder again who is this guy and why does he keep popping up? Then we
see him on the subway referencing the hack and wonder how did he know it
was Elliot who stopped the hack and that he did not press Delete when
given the option so he could stay in touch with the hacker without his
employer knowing? We also want to know how he found Elliot and he targeted
him, which comes out later in the episode.
What makes these main characters intriguing and interesting?
Empathy / Distress
What situation causes us to feel both empathy and distress for this
character? Elliot is sad, mentally ill, and socially awkward. He is just going
through the motions of life and seems to be the IT version of Dexter,
taking down the corrupt by blackmailing them to bring justice instead of killing them. When
he’s done, he places his trophies on CDs with phony album titles and
deletes the files on his computer, akin to Dexter placing the blood of his
victims on slides.
Layers / Open Loops
What questions are created by this first episode that can only be answered
by watching the entire season? Who are the men in black he keeps seeing?
Are they real? Is any of this real? Where did Mr. Robot and his crew go?
Why is Elliot so sad? How long has he been hacking and blackmailing others?
How did all of this start and why? And how did the VP of Evil Corp know it
was Elliot who was involved in framing the CTO of Evil Corp? And what did
he mean by he’s going to enjoy working with Elliot early in the episode?
Did he know what Elliot was already up to? Was the hacker being hacked?
Inviting Obsession
How does this pilot create the need to see every single episode? By
creating a cliffhanger at the end of the pilot. We see Elliot being taken
by the men in black to meet with one of the suits from Evil Corp. We want
to see the next episode to find out what happens next.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Character Depth

What I learned during this assignment: Using this formula to create character depth makes characters much more interesting. This is something I have been wanting to learn, so I’m excited to be able to create more unique/interesting characters.

1. With each of your characters, go through all of these questions to see which might fit for your story.

Internal Character Depth: Best Friend

Motivation: Get her friend to leave her boyfriend alone <div>

Secret: Sets her up on a blind date with a creepy guy she
found on Tinder by creating a fake profile
Wound: Mad at friend for sleeping with her boyfriend;
adopted: every relationship crumbles because she fears rejection

Subtext: Wants her friend to suffer; friend doesn’t
know she knows about the affair

Layers: Petty, duplicitous, devious, passive-aggressive

Character to character

Conflict: Angry at best friend

Hidden Agenda: To make friend suffer

Conspiracy: Sets her best friend up with creepiest guy
she can find

Intrigue: Betrayed her best friend who betrayed her (twice)

Character Situation

Dilemma: Forgive best friend or seek revenge
Secret Identity: Duplicitous bitch; sets up her friend on
blind date from hell

Internal Character Depth: Woman on Date

Motivation: To go on a date and forget about the other
guy
Secret: Cannibal
Wound: Sexually abused as a child; fears losing control

Subtext: Psychopath/Cannibal; slept with her best
friend’s boyfriend; is planning to eat her best friend
Layers: Navy Seal, intelligent, sly, lethal

Character to character

Conflict: Slept with best friend’s boyfriend; on date
with man who wants to eat her
Hidden Agenda: To eat her date
Conspiracy: She and Tinder date conspire to eat her
best friend
Intrigue: Victim becomes the victor

Character Situation

Dilemma: Trapped on boat with man who wants to eat her
Secret Identity: Cannibal, dishonorably discharged from
Navy Seal Team

Internal Character Depth: Creepy Tinder Date

Motivation: To find his next victim
Secret: Cannibal
Wound: Physically abused as a child; feels powerless
Subtext: Plans to eat his date
Layers: Army Ranger on leave, intelligent, charming,
devious

Character to character

Conflict: Date is not an easy target
Hidden Agenda: To eat his date
Conspiracy: To eat his date’s best friend with date
Intrigue: Cannibal in the Army

Character Situation

Dilemma: eat or be eaten

Secret Identity: Cannibal
</div>

[Diana Ceres]

Hi, I’m Diana Ceres. I’ve written three features and two shorts. I want to learn to write contained scripts that sell! I prefer to be behind the camera but did star in a student film back when I lived in Santa Fe. It gave me a taste of what production and filming were like, and I’ve been interested in screenwriting ever since.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Right Characters!

What I learned doing this assignment: By creating competing interests with high-stake goals, I can create better characters.

Concept Hook: Woman must convince date not to eat her

Contained Setting: Yacht in the middle of the ocean; no one to hear her scream

How Characters Uniquely Fit the Hook: Both are cannibals and smart/equipped to escape: one, a discharged Navy Seal, the other an Army Ranger on leave.

How each main character enhances the conflict: Both want the same thing but only one can win.

What makes these characters
right for the story: They are both ruthless cannibals/counterparts/equals with
competing goals. When the tables turn and they realize neither will win, they
join forces and invite the friend who set them up “for dinner and eat her eyes first,” giving
new meaning to the phrase “blind date.”

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Great Hook

A: I loved changing components. I thought I had a decent concept, but it got way better by doing this exercise.

B: I learned to not be wedded to concepts and to be open to taking them in any direction to elevate them.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Guidelines for Jaws

What I learned: While watching the contained movies for the class and coming up with ideas of my own, I am liking the simplicity of the concept, because it seems to create a more intimate experience for the audience. It’s inspiring me to create really unique characters and stories. I started out as a playwright, so this comes kind of natural to me anyway. I feel more comfortable with less, so I’m really looking forward to working within the parameters of the contained script. Also, while coming up with ideas for a contained film (I came up with ten), I found one that actually works better as either a TV series or a non-contained movie, so I’m going to set that one aside for later.

2. Pick a movie that is outside the Covid Guidelines and give us your thoughts on how they could make it in the current production environment.

TITLE: Jaws

AS THEY DID IT:

A. People: Extras, animals, kids, bigger cast; three key actors

B. Stunts: Mechanical shark; action scenes on boat

C. Extras: See above. On the beach.

D. Wardrobe. Simple.

E. Hair and Make Up. Simple.

F. Kids and Animals. Both.

G. Quarantine. All the extras, large cast.

COVID GUIDELINE VERSION:

A. People: Just have the three people on the boat.

B. Stunts: Keep as is.

C. Extras: Don’t use.

D. Wardrobe: Fine as is.

E. Hair and Make Up: Fine as is.

F. Kids and Animals: Remove.

G. Quarantine: Much easier, since just three people.

[Diana Ceres]

I, Diana Ceres, agree to all terms of the Group Confidentiality Agreement. For some reason I cannot copy/paste and post, so I am posting my agreement here. If you are able to fix it so I can copy/paste here in the forum, please let me know. I am happy to try again.

[Diana Ceres]

I, Diana Ceres, agree to the terms of the Group Confidentiality agreement.

I have tried several times to copy/paste the agreement into my response, and it isn’t posting.

I am happy to try emailing it to you, if that works. Or if you can fix it in the system, so I can post, I’d be happy to try again.

[Diana Ceres]

1. Name? Diana Ceres

2. How many scripts you’ve written? 3 features. 2 shorts.

3. What you hope to get out of the class? To learn how to write for and sell to the streamers.

4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? Spanish was my first language.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Mystery Sequence

What I learned: This helped me so much. Like breakthrough time here, y’all. I now have the sequence. OMG. And I was able to keep the killer a mystery until much later in the movie. At first I had the audience knowing the whole time, but that’s not much fun. So grateful to have done this assignment. I’m in the MSC 15 class, and I’m intentionally lagging behind a bit, because I know I need to learn some more kickass stuff before I finish my outline. Otherwise it will be above the surface, and you just can’t do that with a thriller, right?

What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
He (William) killed Jeff.
How many ways can they cover that secret? Those become
the mysteries. I have come up with ten ways for William to cover up that
he is the mastermind of the killing of Jeff (hires someone else to do it,
points fingers at three different people (red herrings) to throw the
police and Sarah off his trail, has killer assign a new client to Sarah
who is actually a plant to gather intel, has killer kill the one person
who can help Sarah (Jeff’s boss), has killer pretend to be a “detective”
and look for the mind control chip in Sarah’s house while she thinks he’s
working on the case, pretends to be her best friend, tells plant to fake going
under hypnosis, has killer/detective tamper with evidence at crime scene
to get case thrown out.
The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.
Who killed Jeff?

Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can. I have three red herring mysteries.

Jeff’s Boss:

Jeff was last seen with his boss.

His boss and Jeff were having an argument the night he was killed.

They both leave the lab at the same time.

Someone follows Jeff home.

Jeff recognizes the killer and lets him in, even though we only see the back of him.

Jeff is carrying the envelope of what is thought contain the mind control chip.

Jeff’s boss acts guilty, because he’s covering up the mind control chip and its powers, because he doesn’t want others to know about it. He wants to send it to the government to use for military interrogations, but Jeff is morally opposed to it. It was supposed to do something else: It was supposed to help Alzheimer’s patients, but instead of helping their minds recall past and current events, it programmed them to do whatever their caretakers wanted.

He also goes into a rage when he discovers the mind control chip is missing from the lab later.

His is flippant towards the police.

He has a temper.

He does not have an alibi.

Jeff’s boss is hiding that the mind control chip has been stolen because he doesn’t want word to get out about the chip and have it get into the wrong hands. He’s also hiding it from the government because they were going to use it for criminal interrogation purposes, and they thought they were building it to help Alzheimer’s patients.

When he speaks with Sarah on the phone, the conversation is awkward and he asks her to come to his office late a night.

Is he going to take the microchip from Sarah?

Killed before Sarah can reach him.

Sarah run off the road and calls William.

When he speaks with Sarah on the phone, the conversation is awkward and he asks her to come to his office late a night.

Is he going to take the microchip from Sarah?

Passes polygraph.

Killed before Sarah can reach him.

Sarah run off the road and calls William.

Sarah’s Boss:

He stops taking her calls

He becomes evasive

She discovers he has changed his identity (to get away from crazy ex it turns out)

He disliked Jeff

He has no alibi

He drives the same type of car as the killer

Parole Officer (the killer): Sarah’s boss says the parole officer has a criminal past, hasn’t been providing status reports on Bobby? Who is Bobby’s parole officer? Sarah’s boss tells her that he has his suspicions about Bobby’s parole officer, because there have been no reports since Bobby’s release. So she should have her detective friend (the parole officer) check him out. Sarah tries to arrange a meeting with the parole officer and he is evasive, which makes her suspicious. When Sarah gets the report back from the “detective” she is shocked to learn that the parole officer has a criminal past and was friends with Jeff’s boss. Why didn’t the parole officer mention he knew Jeff’s boss? What was he hiding?

Is the parole officer the killer? William uses the parole officer and Bobby behind the scenes to search for the mind control chip, when it’s been on Sarah the entire time and they had no idea. He was evasive on the phone. He doesn’t have time to meet. He didn’t like Jeff. He knew Jeff’s boss. He has a criminal past. William sent Bobby as a plant to gather intel on where the chip might be and to keep tabs on Sarah.

The mastermind behind the killing: William

Create a Mystery Chain for each main mystery.

Main mysteries:

Who killed Jeff? Jeff was last seen with his boss. His boss and Jeff were having an argument. Someone follows Jeff home. Jeff recognizes the killer and lets him in, even though we only see the back of him. Jeff is carrying the envelope of what is thought contain the mind control chip. Jeff’s boss acts guilty, because he’s covering up the mind control chip and its powers, because he doesn’t want it to get into the wrong hands. He also goes into a rage when he discovers the mind control chip is missing from the lab.His boss is flippant towards the police. Jeff’s boss has a temper. Jeff’s boss does not have an alibi.

William in pinning the murder on Jeff’s boss who wanted the microchip. So Sarah has Jeff’s boss investigated.

Who tampered with the evidence? It was only Sarah and William who found Jeff. There were several detectives there at the scene. Was it one of them? William can bring in a “detective” who is really the crooked parole officer whom he hired to kill her husband and steal the microchip.

What’s in the note that Jeff left Sarah? Sarah finds gift and note in desk drawer from her deceased husband. She reads it and puts on the pendant, which has the mind-control chip. She knows it is coveted and that she must keep it safe.

Who is trying to kill Sarah? Her house is ransacked. She is run off the road.

[Diana Ceres]

Have placed my responses a few times but I cannot close out the assignment in the tracker for some reason.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Villain Has a Great Plan!

What I learned: I loved looking at the movie this way. It really helped me see the structure and gain better clarity on how things would play out.

End goal: Obtain the mind-control chip so he can [do something nefarious with it].

How can he accomplish this in a devious way? Kill Sarah’s husband who created the chip and stole the chip when he realized what was going to be done with it. Destroy Sarah’s life/manipulate her into letting him know where the chip is, since it wasn’t on her husband when he was killed.

How can he cover it up? Tamper with the crime scene. Make it look like someone else did it.

Sequence to make it as intriguing as possible: Act 1: Console Sarah when her husband is murdered. Scare Sarah by sending someone to ransack her home by looking for the chip. Act 2: Assign her a “patient” that is actually a plant to throw her off his trail. Scare Sarah again by having someone run her off the road. Issue death threats on the phone, etc. Midpoint: Use his friendship/trust to gaslight Sarah and cause her to break with her ethics by hypnotizing a patient to gain valuable information to help her find her husband’s killer. Act 3: Continue to manipulate
Sarah, confusing her, causing her to spiral out of control and use the
mind-control chip to program the plant to track down and kill the man who
murdered her husband. Act 4: Attempt to steal chip from Sarah now that he has
confirmation she has the chip and kill her in the process.

[Diana Ceres]

Day 4: Assignment 2

Diana’s SOTL Stacking Suspense

What I learned: It was really interesting to see the interconnectedness of each of the elements of suspense as well as the inner elements within and between the characters. This movie was a masterpiece in suspense. Almost every scene was jam-packed with mystery, intrigue and suspense. There was brilliant subtext, which added to the intrigue. And the suspense kept building until the protagonist was in the worst possible situation she could be in: face to face with the serial killer she had been hunting down. I know this wasn’t part of the assignment, but I also appreciated the gradient of change with Clarice. She was a well-rounded character and her transformation was credible, and the butterfly metaphor was not lost on me. Loved how the writer layered so many elements to work in tandem, both on and beneath the surface. A true cinematic masterpiece. Gets better every time I watch it.

[Diana Ceres]

Just realized this should go in the previous day’s lesson.

I’ll post Day 5 in a sec.

Diana’s SOTL Stacking Suspense

What I learned: It was really interesting to see the interconnectedness of each of the elements of suspense as well as the inner elements within and between the characters. This movie was a masterpiece in suspense. Almost every scene was jam-packed with mystery, intrigue and suspense. There was brilliant subtext, which added to the intrigue. And the suspense kept building until the protagonist was in the worst possible situation she could be in: face to face with the serial killer she had been hunting down. I know this wasn’t part of the assignment, but I also appreciated the gradient of change with Clarice. She was a well-rounded character and her transformation was credible, and the butterfly metaphor was not lost on me. Loved how the writer layered so many elements to work in tandem, both on and beneath the surface. A true cinematic masterpiece. Gets better every time I watch it.

• This reply was modified 4 years ago by  Diana Ceres.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s BI Stacking Suspense

What I learned: I got more clarity on the distinctions between Mystery, Intrigue, and Suspense, and am
starting to see how they play off each other and how a lot of the scenes leave
you hanging, like the mystery is the tapestry of the movie and the suspense and
intrigue play off that and are woven into the tapestry in the right places. I
think this will help me especially when we work with each of them separately,
so I can get an even deeper understanding of these elements. I also liked how
the characters also have MIS built into them. And how important it is to build
stakes into the scenes to create a more thrilling story. Ex: Is someone going
to be killed? Is someone risking their life? Is someone in danger and not
knowing it? Etc. I also noticed that not every scene in the movie had every
element of MIS, but most did and the ones that didn’t were heavy on the other
two.

[Diana Ceres]

For some reason I can’t close this lesson out as completed. It’s making me reply again.

[Diana Ceres]

I didn’t see the Day 4 assignment, so I’m posting the Stacking Suspense Assignment, Part 1 here. Will post Part 2 in a day or two, provided it is still here.

Diana’s BI Stacking Suspense

What I learned: I got more clarity on the distinctions between Mystery, Intrigue, and Suspense, and am
starting to see how they play off each other and how a lot of the scenes leave
you hanging, like the mystery is the tapestry of the movie and the suspense and
intrigue play off that and are woven into the tapestry in the right places. I
think this will help me especially when we work with each of them separately,
so I can get an even deeper understanding of these elements. I also liked how
the characters also have MIS built into them. And how important it is to build
stakes into the scenes to create a more thrilling story. Ex: Is someone going
to be killed? Is someone risking their life? Is someone in danger and not
knowing it? Etc. I also noticed that not every scene in the movie had every
element of MIS, but most did and the ones that didn’t were heavy on the other
two.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s World and Characters!

What I learned: I need to elevate the world this story takes place in. Not sure it’s enough. I also need to make some of the characters more unique to this story.

1. Remind us of your CONCEPT and the Big M.I.S. of your story.

Concept: Corrections psychiatrist turns into a vigilante while trying to track down her husband’s killer.

Big Mystery: What did Sarah’s husband have on the killer? (What was in that note he left her and what is on that microchip?)

Big Intrigue: Sarah’s best friend is the killer. (Audience’s POV) Or Who killed Jeff? (Sarah’s POV)

Big Suspense: Will Sarah catch her husband’s killer before the killer catches her?

2. Tell us the Intriguing World you have selected for this story. Right now it is the world of correctional psychiatry. Needs elevating, though.

3. With your top 2 or 3 characters, tell us the role they play and then answer these three questions:

• A. What is the mystery of this character? Sarah: She can program people to do whatever she wants with her mind. William: Why did he have Jeff killed? Bobby: Why is he working for Jeff?

• B. What is the suspense of this character? Sarah: Will she catch the killer? William: Will he stop Sarah? Bobby: Will he get caught by Sarah or Jeff?

• C. What is the intrigue of this character? Sarah: Breaks bad to solve her husband’s murder and becomes a vigilante who programs others who are set free from heinous crimes on a technicality. William: Justifies murder for his own personal gain. Bobby: Why is he betraying both Sarah and William?

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Big M.I.S.

What I learned: I need to add more high stakes to my story. By going through the steps, I think I am getting closer. I want the protagonist to end up a vigilante, but I need to think some more about the gradient of change and plausibility, while keeping the expected conventions in mind. I still think it’s doable. Just not there yet.

Conventions

• Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Sarah

• Dangerous Villain: William

• High stakes: She has something of value that others would kill for. She is best friends with the killer. She is treating a violent ex-con.

• Life and death situations: She is at risk because she is in possession of some incriminating data that her late husband saved to a microchip and hid inside a pendant with instructions to his wife on how to deliver the data. She is being run off the road and chased by the killer and threatened several times to stop looking for him.

• This story is thrilling because? The killer is after Sarah. Sarah is after the killer while carrying out a mission from her late husband that could get her killed. Perhaps Sarah has had the upper hand the entire time. We don’t know what was in the note. Was Sarah acting? Did she know all along?

Big Mystery: What did Sarah’s husband have on the killer? (What was in that note he left her?)

Big Intrigue: Sarah’s best friend is the killer.

Big Suspense: Will Sarah catch her husband’s killer before the killer catches her?

[Diana Ceres]

Panic Room: Thriller Conventions

What I learned: Less is more. This was a great, contained movie. Small cast. One main location.

2. Watch the movie and as you do, note the conventions of THIS story.

• Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Mother fights to keep her daughter, herself, and her ex-husband alive when her home is broken into by three men.

• Dangerous Villain: The three men. Two were more dangerous than the one who just wanted the money.

• High stakes: Try to stay alive in the panic room after three men break into your home. Each time they refuse, the men up the ante. Gas, cut the phone line, threaten to kill the daughter if she tells the cops what is happening, etc.

• Life and death situations: Yes. The men are dangerous and two of them will stop at nothing to get their money. The stakes grow higher in each scene.

• This movie is thrilling because? The suspense keeps you hanging, wondering if they will make it out alive.

3. What is the BIG Mystery, Intrigue, and Suspense of this story?

• Big Mystery: Why did these men break into her home and what do they want?

• Big Intrigue: What is in the panic room that the robbers want?

• Big Suspense: Will they make it out alive?

4. Anything else you’d like to say about what made this movie a great thriller? Each scene built on the next. The suspense/dramatic tension kept building with each scene. You were vested in the story and rooting for them to get out alive.

[Diana Ceres]

1. Name? Diana

2. How many scripts you’ve written? 2 features, 2 shorts

3. What you hope to get out of the class? To learn how to write a kick-ass thriller

4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? I’m addicted to TikTok and recently created a cat video that went viral for a cat rescue that I promote.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana Ceres: I agree to the terms of this release form.

[Diana Ceres]

Sure. Send me your outline: diana@bluedragonconsulting.com. I’ll send you mine when I receive your email.

[Diana Ceres]

Sounds great.

diana@bluedragonconsulting.com

[Diana Ceres]

Good to see you in this class, Nadine! 🙂