Douglas
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Exercise 13 Doug’s Elevated Scene Structure:
Learned: I need to pay more attention to transition scenes to enhance/maintain audience interest. It’s easy to focus on the key scenes and ignore others when rewriting.
Context: 1970 – Paul (12) has survived being thrown into a mine shaft and left for dead. He believes actions have caused the death of his mentor Charlie (70s). He is laying low with guilt in a different town.
Prior structure:
Beginning: In a different town Paul, racked with guilt, helps his family assist his father’s entry into a medical clinic. His father requires a checkup for his mine injury.
Middle: Paul wanders to the town square/park where he encounters a group of Christian hippies and a Jesus look-alike that consoles him. The group welcomes him in a circle of acceptance, tambourines, and dance.
End: Paul sits outside the medical clinic sketching out a plan of action. His father exits the clinic and confirms that he is doing better. He reminds Paul to low profile as the villain that attacked him is unknown. His father tells him that they need to go meet someone (this would be Charlie as he survived a fire – Paul does not know this. And he does not find out in this the scene).
New structure idea:
Beginning: Depressed, Paul sits by a tree in a town park. A blue-eyed, blonde-haired Jesus look alike (he matches a velvet Jesus picture Paul saw prior) approaches Paul and they chat. We don’t hear the conversation. Hearing tambourines they get up and move to a circle of Jesus hippies nearby. The free-spirited hippie girls in the group pull Paul into the dance. He resists at first – but gets caught up in the fun.
Middle: Paul’s father exits the clinic. They walk. Paul’s father cautions Paul to keep a low profile as the villain that attacked him is unknown. As they enter a café, Pauls’ father says that he wants Paul to meet someone. Paul complains, saying that he has repeatedly told everyone what happened. They enter. Charlie, back to them at a both – turns and greets them. Paul is shocked and overjoyed.
End: Later
and unseen by his family, Paul sketches out a plan to trick the villains into
revealing themselves for the finally -
Lesson 12
Doug’s Scene Ratings
Learned: The reverse scene rating provided a fresh perspective. It made me question as to what scenes I added as filler to transition to the key scenes. And it made me aware that there may be several flat scenes back-to-back that would cause an audience member to lose interest. Overall, it left room to improve many scenes.
Scene 1 E 9 Opening
Scene 2 E 9
Scene 3 E 5 Inciting Event
Scene 4 E 6
Scene 5 E 2
Scene 6 E 3
Scene 7 E 3
Scene 8 E 4
Scene 9 E 4
Scene 10 E 4
Scene 11 E 11
Scene 12 E 6
Scene 13 E 6
Scene 14 E 5 (ACT II)
Scene 15 E 6
Scene 16 E 8
Scene 17 E 6
Scene 18 E 7
Scene 19 E 6
Scene 20 E 3
Scene 21 E 5
Scene 22 E 7
Scene 23 E 6
Scene 24 E 7 (ACT II)
Scene 25 E 4
Scene 26 E 5
Scene 27 E 5
Scene 28 E 5
Scene 29 E 6
Scene 30 E 5
Scene 31 E 4
Scene 32 E 4
Scene 33 E 7
Scene 34 E 8
Scene 35 E 4
Scene 36 E 8
Scene 37 E 3
Scene 38 E 9
Scene 39 E 8
Scene 40 E 7
Scene 41 E 6
Scene 42 E 6
Scene 43 E 8 (ACT III)
Scene 44 E 7
Scene 45 E 4
Scene 46 E 3
Scene 47 E 5
Scene 48 E 3
Scene 49 E 6
Scene 50 E 6
Scene 51 E 4
Scene 52 E 2
Scene 53 E 2
Scene 54 E 3
Scene 55 E 5
Scene 56 E 4
Scene 57 E 6
Scene 58 E 6
Scene 59 E 7
Scene 60 E 7
Scene 61 E 7
Scene 62 E 8
Scene 63 E 7
Scene 64 E 9
Scene 65 E 8
Scene 66 E 9
Scene 67 E 7
Scene 68 E 4
Scene 69 E8
Scene 70 E 8
Scene 71 E 10 10 ACT III (All is Lost)
Scene 72 E 9
Scene 73 E 7
Scene 74 E 5
Scene 75 E 4
Scene 76 E 5
Scene 77 E 4
Scene 78 E 7
Scene 79 E 5
Scene 80 E 10 (Climax)
Scene 81 E 5
Scene 82 E 6
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Lesson 9: Doug’s Fascinating Scene Outline
Learned: I had used a variety of these techniques already – as I was always trying to keep each scene story interesting. However, I would have loved to have the listed techniques at the start of writing. As is, I listed the techniques and checked each scene. I am still making edits to enhance the application of the techniques and reworking – tightening up the overall structure of some scenes.
Changes: I did not make major changes but did identify scenes where I could identify a technique and did some rewriting to enhance it. As example the main character, Paul finds himself at Sarah’s (first love) house, joined by her mother. They want him to practice for an upcoming dance. I added tension – in his actions and excuses as he tries to avoid this and get out of the house.
I had intended to make Ben – town Marshall – a false ally of the protagonist. As is, I hint that he is, but he is not. I am thinking this/these hint(s) need to be stronger. And am still reflecting on how to add intrigue and uncertainty – to mislead the audience. Is he an ally or false ally?
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Lesson 8 Doug’s Elevates Lead Characters
Learned:
· Pay attention to the percent of a script that the lead protagonist & leads are in.
· Pay more attention to motives of support leads.
· Back off and reflect on each character and think about what can be done to make them believable and interesting in their own way. It’s easy to have them as decorations and forget them as you focus on the protagonist.
Changes:
Paul – lead protagonist – clarified ethical and moral fails. He learns by these and adjusts away from toxic strategies.
Dalton – Development as a villain with a simple motive – money. Added stronger motive to make him more intense, desperate, & dangerous.
Teddy – Kid bully – added more to show what makes him a bully – it’s the way his mother’s boyfriend, Dalton – treats him and his brother. Added couple of places where you want to have compassion for him – especially at the climax.
Ben – Town Marshall – Ute tribe member (debating some as to make him more of a lead to enhance intrigue and complexity) – allowed hints that make you wonder if he is mentoring the villain Dalton or is he using him for his own financial problem – a foreclosure of his liquor store where he makes most of his money during the tourist season.
Paul’s mentor – Charlie the old miner – I am looking at this as I made him very colorful – but may adjust some as I don’t want him to overshadow the main lead, Paul.
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Lesson 7
Doug Solves Major Problems
Changes – I did a total rewrite of the ending showdown with villains. I had an ending and afterwards, decompression scenes that I liked. However, the ending did not match the intensity of the opening and the dark night of the soul – all is lost plot point. It was more like a deflating balloon vs ever building higher intensity.
Lesson: Best to have key plot points more settled & matched vs going back and repairing to match the rest of the script.
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Lesson 6: Doug’s Outline Improvements
As a base line the lesson keeps me looking at and working to improve the structure and characters.
In the past, screenwriting I read books made a three Act structure sound easy. Over time I have added/used a linear sketch of the outline on graph paper. And new for this script I drew a diagram as to how all the characters, objects, events are related. Lesson: In the future I would use the tools from this class to shape up the script first vs looking back to repair, replace, and fix. This is a more efficient method and a time saver.
Improvements: I adjusted the outline structure and the wording to make the story more active. Additionally, I made changes to align characters more closely with their motivations and actions.
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Lesson 5
Learned: I had thought a lot about the interconnections of the characters prior. But this exercise had me looking closer and adding small improvements to the script that tied the characters together based on conflicting needs and motives. It was useful for idea generation, reflection, and good to return to when writing.
Doug’s Character Story Line
Paul 12-year-old main character (Protagonist):
Beginning: Seeking adventure and treasure, Paul falls into a dark cave with a charred human skull. Later in the evening he is pranked by some of his family members revealing his fear. Inciting Incident: After the prank – Paul discovers that he is moving and going to be the new kid once again – which he dreads.
Turning Point: Trying to fit in, Paul takes a bet by the bully Teddy and must face a fear. Midpoint: Paul’s father is injured in a mine accident, and he tries to earn money to help his family.
Turning Point 2: Paul’s dog is held hostage by Teddy that wants to trade for Charlie’s treasure map.
Dilemma: Should Paul betray his mentor, Charlie or let his dog die?
Major Conflict: Showdown with Dalton at Charlie’s cabin where Paul digs deep to save himself with new skills learned.
Ending: Showdown at the cemetery where Paul uses his new trickster skills to reveal and capture Red and Dalton. Paul is rewarded with a small monetary award – has his first innocent kiss – has acquired new skills – but find out – he must move once again – into a new environment where he will have to adapt.
Teddy 13-year-old bully (support for antagonist)
Beginning: Teddy watches and lurks – watches for next kid to bully Inciting Incident: Paul and his family arrive in town.
Turning Point: Accepts raised bet with Paul but frustrated no decisive outcome. Midpoint: Threatened by mom’s boyfriend Dalton and forced to follow Paul.
Turning Point 2: Paul tricks Teddy into riding on the back of dairy truck.
Dilemma: Do as told by mom’s cruel boyfriend say or be abused by him? (Teddy has burn scars from cigarettes)
Major Conflict: Plans to exchange Paul’s dog for Charlie’s map and beat up Paul.
Ending: Forced by Dalton to try and retrieve Charlie’s map from the cemetery.
Dalton: 30s on probation (Antagonist)
Beginning: Arrives on his motorcycle at Ben’s Marshall’s office – Ben’s chair outside of his liquor store where he works and is on probation under the care of the Marshall, Ben.
Inciting Incident: Jake, former prison inmate with Dalton, tracks Dalton down.
Turning Point: Owes Jake money and never can escape him. Midpoint: Hears of Charlie’s silver ingot and Spanish treasure map – sees as a way to pay off Jake and to take care of himself.
Turning Point 2: Thinks he has accidentally killed the old miner Charlie in a fire and in a panic thinks he has killed Paul by throwing him into a mine shaft. Dilemma: Risk of going back to prison or serious injury or death caused by Jake?
Major Conflict: Showdown at the cemetery to find Charlie’s torn treasure map to Spanish treasure. Ending: Sent back to prison.
Charlie: 70s old miner (Support for Protagonist)
Inciting Incident: Sees Paul in the enterprise and finds he is the grandson of his old miner friend – the man that saved him from a mine cave in (that has caused a lifelong limp). And these two had dealt with bullies in their day.</div>
Turning Point: Decides to befriend Paul, and to provide him some work for pay.
Midpoint: Shares story of lost Spanish mine with Paul. Turning Point 2: Teddy, following Paul, overhears about a map and sees an ingot.
Dilemma: Trust a suspicious town Marshall or trust a kid’s (Paul’s) plan to deal with to deal with extremely dangerous villain that attacked him and left him for dead.
Major Conflict: Showdown at his miner’s cabin to save Paul.
Ending: Showdown at the cemetery to outwit & capture Jake and Dalton. Has enjoyed giving bullies their due one more time in life and shares his feelings for his verbal sparring partner, Kitty, owner of the Enterprise bar.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Douglas Dotts.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Douglas Dotts.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by
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Doug Dotts: Character Profiles
What I learned: Helped clarify – some characters as made me think about them more in depth. And the listed areas of the profile were great for brainstorming. I noticed that this added more depth for some of the side characters. I took some notes – to later add little moments to the script that further clarify the characters and/or add to others that were not as developed.
A. Name: Paul
B. Role in the Story: Protagonist
C. Core Traits: Witty – Adventurous – clever – humorous – fun – but very afraid of scary things and change in general.
D. Motivation: Want/Need: Wants a grand adventure – needs confidence.
E. Flaw/Wound: Always the outsider – as always, the new kid.
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Wants to prove himself – wants to break from his fears to experience the adventure he imagines his life could be.
G. Internal Dilemma: It’ tough to keep up the mask of bravado and it often fails.
H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? A symbolic character – of growth for a boy becoming a man – pushing though his limitations – learning from mentors – and peer mentors. .
A. Name: Bob
B. Role in the Story: Paul’s father – miner – but the event of being injured forces Paul to grow. However, Bob’s seeking – moving the family allows for the adventure and growth of Paul.
C. Core Traits: Outdoors type, tough, self-reliant, free spirit, restless, lives in a little of bit of a fantasy.
D. Motivation: Want/Need: Wants to return to the town he grew up in – needs to reclaim his joyful youth.
E. Flaw/Wound: Restless – moving from location to location to reclaim the lost joy of boyhood.
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Hopes his family – especially his spouse, Mira – adapts and accepts.
G. Internal Dilemma: Is it really an either or – sufficiently supporting a family or having them suffer his search for lost boyhood joy.
H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? Very strong on the outside – underneath has a balance of compassion – steadfastness – that Paul observes and adapts. And his restlessness causes the move – that causes Paul’s growth.
A. Name: Mira
B. Role in the Story: Mother of the protagonist, Paul – and his two very young siblings that always bicker with each other. A good – grounding influence on Paul.
C. Core Traits: Strong – caring, cynical, quick witted.
D. Motivation: Want/Need: Wants civilization – needs stability in life.
E. Flaw/Wound: Never had stability – makes her uneasy on the inside and sarcastic on the outside.
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Wants to settle in a larger – normal town. Needs stability.
G. Internal Dilemma: Wants to be supportive of husband, his dreams, her family, but not direct enough with her needs.
H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? A good foil for her husband’s fantasy life with her more practical take.
A. Name: Ben
B. Role in the Story: Town Marshall, Native Ute – manages a liquor store and the probation of Dalton. At the start of the story – is he involved with Dalton and criminal intent to save his store from foreclosure – or just helping Dalton to choose a more honest way of living? When coming into town, Bob is surprised that Ben is a Marshal and refers to his youthful conduct. But later – we learn that Bob was a participant in the same minor crime. Both come through to take down the villains with Paul.
C. Core Traits: Quiet by tough.
D. Motivation: Want/Need: Wants a peaceful town & to rehabilitate Dalton – needs financial security.
E. Flaw/Wound: Never seen – as a behind the scenes guy – does good – but not noticed.
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Is he dirty dealing with Dalton to save is store – or is he doing his job?
G. Internal Dilemma: How far to trust Dalton with his money.
H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? Like an eagle – he keeps an eye on all and when least expected – he swoops in.
A. Name: Teddy
B. Role in the Story: Main bully – along with his younger brother – Billy always threatening to Paul.
C. Core Traits: Projects his own fear and pain to others – cruel
D. Motivation: Want/Need: Wants to be tough & in control – needs security & safety.
E. Flaw/Wound: Damaged – bullied by mother’s prior boyfriends that inflict their baggage on him and we see that he has been scared by cigarette burns inflicted on him by the villain – mom’s latest – the villain, Dalton.
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Wants to survive life – wants to be feared to feel safe.
G. Internal Dilemma: To what length will he go beyond his usual meanness to save himself and brother?
H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? The bullied has been the bullied and this is the only way of life he knows.
A. Name: Dalton
B. Role in the Story: Villain
C. Core Traits: Abusive to his girlfriend two boys – Teddy and Billy – lives off others.
D. Motivation: Want/Need: Wants to be a tough – needs security & safety.
E. Flaw/Wound: Was of criminal mind before he served in Vietnam/Army – was saved in the war by Sarah’s brother. We find this out later – Sarah’s brother tried to help him – by joining the Army with him and died saving his life – the better man, Sarah’s brother – died.
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Skim cash from the liquor store.
G. Internal Dilemma: Wants to survive – will he run – be a petty thief, or will he be pushed into murder by a former cell mate that is vicious.
H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? He is weak inside – bullies others as he has been bullied – unable to learn from his past experiences.
A. Name: Kitty
B. Role in the Story: Foil for Charlie – though they tease – bicker – they really like and admire each other. She provides the local watering hole for locals. She provides a lesson for Paul when he veers to the unethical. And she helps Paul out in the final showdown with villains.
C. Core Traits: She is the tough owner of the Enterprise saloon. She does it all – cooks – cleans – bartends – keeps others honest. She is witty.
D. Motivation: Want/Need: Wants to keep her bar/income afloat – needs to belong – companionship of locals and tourists.
E. Flaw/Wound: Lonely – cut off.
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Conceals that she likes Charlie.
G. Internal Dilemma: Should she reveal her loneliness and affection for Charlie.
H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? She is a lot like Charlie – but will not admit this – she has humor – resourcefulness – self-reliant – tough – humorous.
A. Name: Charlie
B. Role in the Story: Mentor for Paul after Paul’s father is injured in a work accident.
C. Core Traits: Crusty old miner – self-sufficient – a jokester – a trickster.
D. Motivation: Want/Need: Wants to find the hidden Spanish treasure that he has a map to. Needs noticed and valued.
E. Flaw/Wound: Lonely – never found his treasure (hmn – new idea – finds Kitty is his treasure).
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Keep his dream alive – to have value – hopes that his wisdom is useful.
G. Internal Dilemma: Should he reveal himself to Kitty.
H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? He is up for the adventure – resourceful and is a trickster with idea to help unveil villains.
A. Name: Russ
B. Role in the Story: Befriends Paul the first day of school – but we later find out he is not a real friend when needed – he is self-serving.
C. Core Traits: Enough of a nice kid – a slacker – a liar – uses people – self-serving.
D. Motivation: Want/Need: Wants to avoid being beat up – needs security at any costs.
E. Flaw/Wound: Not morally anchored.
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Use his friendship with Paul for money – company – until stakes are raised.
G. Internal Dilemma: He wants a friend like Paul but when will his actions reveal he is not a trusted, reliable friend? How long can he hide his true self?
H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? He is a kid that has no moral compass and survives on instincts. He will always latch onto the new kid as a friend to use for his self-interests.
A. Name: Sarah
B. Role in the Story: B tory – Captivates Paul’s interest. She helps Paul become more comfortable with himself and supports him.
C. Core Traits: Fun – friendly – likes to dance – love her horse.
D. Motivation: Want/Need: Wants to keep her best friend, Beth – and have Paul as boyfriend. Needs companionship after loss of brother.
E. Flaw/Wound: Suffered a loss – her brother died in Vietnam – saving Dalton. She does not talk about him.
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Thinks she wants to Paul’s girlfriend but hesitant.
G. Internal Dilemma: If she gets close to Paul as friend and girlfriend will that bring up her memories or cause memories of her best friend – her deceased older brother to fade?
H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? She is more self-assured than Paul – and comfortable with the world.
A. Name: Beth
B. Role in the Story: She is the best friend of Sarah – later in the story – she lets Paul know that Sarah’s brother taught her boxing skills that and she shares some of this with Paul. She lets Paul know that Sarah’s brother did not come home alive from the war. He had tried to help Dalton be a better person prior to their enlistment. He learned toward criminal behavior even before the war experience.
C. Core Traits: Tough – independent – has learned skills like boxing – riding horses – using ropes – never backs down – always ready to fight to defend herself and what is right.
D. Motivation: Want/Need: Wants to maintain her friendship with Sarah – needs security and to grieve.
E. Flaw/Wound: Little hurt by her best friend’s new love interest – Paul.
F. Secret/Hidden Agenda: Little fearful of Sarah’s relationship with Paul – would prefer things to remain the same.
G. Internal Dilemma: Should she help Paul – or let him fail on his own.
H. What makes this character perfect for their role in this story? She takes a stand and teaches Paul this – teaches him how to fight – how to climb a rope that saves him later. She never gives in or backs down. This is a good example for Paul.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Douglas Dotts.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by
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Doug’s Genre to Structure
Learned: I added Drama to Coming of Age as genre. Aligning genre with structure was a helpful tool to identify scenes that could be added to or rearranged. Specifically, it was useful to focus on and track the key scenes of Paul’s growth via fails, lessons learned, and successes. Paul grows and overcomes his deepest fear/weakness, learns new skills, and reverses the table on the bullies & villains, defeating them.
Title: Rico Kid
Genre: Coming of Age – Drama
ACT I
Opening: 1970s – Paul (12) chases a lizard in the Utah desert and falls into a cave – darkness – focusses – and faces a charcoaled skull. When he returns to camp, his family members, knowing his fears, prank him with a ghost train.
Genre Paul’s greatest weakness = fears: Fear of dark and the spooky, fear of change (always moving in as the new kid). Back at camp his uncle calls him a fraidy cat and can’t believe he entered a cave. Paul fell – with a half-truth response, saying, he went right in. Paul is griped by fear when granddad advises that he return the skull so that the owner doesn’t come searching.
Around the campfire Paul’s family scares him. His grandfather has made up a story connecting the train and skull to plant the seed. His uncle uses 70s reel-to-reel recording of a steam locomotive, blasting its whistle, rushing toward them. All except mom-Mira, laugh at him. Very subtlety, his father Bob, points out that he faced his fear.
Inciting Incident: Paul moves with his family to a small Colorado mountain town as the fearful new kid.
Genre
Approaching town, the family car has a flat at the cemetery. Paul changes the tire with his father’s guidance. Bob tells him the story of a headless horseman that was buried in the cemetery that makes him afraid. But we learn that kids would run up to touch the headstone. This plants a seed – for use later.
At the cabin – Paul watches a Twilight Zone like show – the story has a creature with red eyes. Later, Paul is trapped between the cabin and outhouse by a creature with red eyes. This reflects his fear once again.
Paul turns to a strategy, cowboy bravado to face school. He meets Russ and they are chased to school by bullies Teddy and Billy. At school he takes the bet from them that he can ride a horse. He can’t, then stalls, (bravado) bumping the bet higher. Finds this is not the best strategy.
Turning Point: Paul’s father Bob, is injured in a mine shaft collapse and can’t provide for his family.
ACT II
New Plan: Paul must navigate his fears and earn money for his family.
Genre
Paul tries new strategies.
Plan in Action: Paul attempts to sell tourist collectables. He learns new skills from friends and a mentor Charlie (old miner). Charlie teaches him to pan for gold and pays him for cutting wood/stacking wood.
Genre
Paul learns from the actions of an outcast, but noble kid, Raymond – sacrifices to help him get away from the bullies.
Paul has been taunted by the bullies to man up. He attempts a jump from a train water tower to prove his manhood – it is an embarrassing failure.
New friends and love interest Sarah want to support him, stalling the horse-riding bet, raising the bet, and teaching him to ride – somewhat. Sarah’s best friend Beth teaches to climb a rope and how to punch and block.
The horse race plan fails.
An unethical attempt to sell items to tourists fails. He is corrected by owner of the Enterprise bar, Kitty.
Mentor Charlie an old miner teaches him – no way to quick gold riches. Provides work for pay.
Menter Charlie tells of how he and Paul’s granddad tricked and defeated a bully with a scary set-up for the local bully back in the day. This plants the seed.
Paul applies trickster lessons and causes Teddy and Billy trouble – they become enraged and plan retribution. They are threatened by their cruel stepfather, Dalton. He demands they get a treasure map the overhead Charlie talk about.
Midpoint Turning Point: Paul’s dog, Sandy is held hostage by bullies as they want payback via a beatdown for Paul and his friend, Russ. Their uncle, Dalton demands that they bring him Charlie’s treasure map.
ACT III
Rethink everything: Change of strategy and let go of the unethical.
New plan: Becomes a trickster – to outwit the bullies.
Genre
Paul brings home a book about magic and tricks. He tries one making his sister barf (success) but finds it can cause trouble.
Paul pulls a trick on the younger bully causing him to get in trouble with a cranky teacher. (success)
Paul outsmarts the bullies’ (success) plan to steal candy at a Halloween party in their haunted house.
Paul learns how to dance with Sarah for an upcoming Christmas party. But, at the party he is at first embarrassed; however, with help from friends, he reverses this (success) and negates the bullies’ pleasure.
Paul
Turning Point: Huge failure/major shift: Dalton, after Charlie’s treasure map – throws Paul into a pitch-black mineshaft. Stakes are at their highest – all is lost.
Genre
Paul faces his fear – attempts to get out. He has learned from Beth how to climb a rope and applies. (success)
ACT IV
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Paul creates a plan that includes school friends and townsfolk that have befriended him. The villains are coxed to the cemetery where Paul incites – inflicts fear, causing them to reveal themselves.
Genre
He applies his trickster skills – and creates a plan. He can fight – he can ride – somewhat.
Resolution: Bullies defeated – villains captured – lessons applied. Paul’s love connection consummates with his first awkward kiss (B story). Paul learns that his family is moving once gain to a new town – new challenges to be confronted with new skills.
Genre
Success with added growth and skills learned. But – moving – the new kid once again. Will these skills be enough?
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Outline to Structure
Learned:
· Rewrite of a scene to make Paul’s action fit his motive vs relying on other characters. Check for other areas like this.
· Can see areas to trim fluff.
· Can see areas to bump up the action.
· Can see areas to rearrange.
Title: Rico Kid
Genre: Coming of Age
Concept: Journey of transformation.
Main Conflict: Paul (12) is bullied by two brothers and threatened by their abusive stepfather, Dalton.
ACT I
Opening: 1970s – Paul (12) chases a lizard in the Utah desert and falls into a cave – darkness – focusses – and faces a charcoaled skull. When he returns to camp, his family members, knowing his fears, prank him with a ghost train.
Inciting Incident: Paul moves with his family to a small Colorado mountain town as the fearful new kid.
Turning Point: Paul’s father Bob, is injured in a mine shaft collapse and can’t provide for his family.
ACT II
New Plan: Paul must navigate his fears and help earn money for his family.
Plan in Action: Paul hustles to make money via a bet with bullies and attempts to sell tourist collectables. He learns new skills from friends and a mentor Charlie (old miner). Charlie teaches him to pan for gold and pays him for cutting wood/stacking wood.
Midpoint Turning Point: Paul’s dog, Sandy is held hostage by bullies as they want payback via a beatdown for Paul and his friends. Their uncle, Dalton demands that they bring Charlie’s treasure map.
ACT III
Rethink everything:
New plan: Becomes a trickster – to outwit the bullies.
Turning Point: Huge failure/major shift: Dalton, after Charlie’s treasure map – throws Paul into a pitch-black mineshaft. All is lost.
ACT IV
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Paul creates a plan that includes school friends and townsfolk that have befriended him. The villains are coxed to the cemetery where Paul incites – inflicts fear, causing them to reveal themselves.
Resolution: Bullies defeated – villains captured – lessons applied. Paul’s love connection consummates with his first awkward kiss (B story). Paul learns that his family is moving once gain to a new town – new challenges to be confronted with new skills.
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Douglas Dotts
I have written 3 scripts – several rewrites of the last two.
I hope to discover new insights to my story telling and polish – polish – polish.
I lived in Japan for 2 years while in the USAF.
Best to all!
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Douglas Dotts.
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I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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You are correct – thanks for making that note.
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Clear – concise profiles with added depth.
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I like the idea of an opening scene – the memorial. Beyond a tragic ending, it makes one ponder what was this person’s life like, and in this case – what could it have been.
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Yes – heightened tension!
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Clever concept caught my attention right away – and I thought – I want to see this film!