Edward Brown
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Edward Brown
writtten 10 scripts, get made into BS series, I honk at swans on lake and they come, I sail, I got many many plot ideas, I have para normal senses I cant talk about to keep them
I ve been lot of pro series, not after fire wiped me out I am getting space for total writing
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Edward Brown agrees to class confidiality and protocal
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Swu CHARACTER MASTER Day 1 Traits
Writer wanted to show Will as smart. So put him in conflict with intellectual braggart who bored bar girls, Harvard bar girls.
Conflict worked. I was impressed by how rapid Will rattled off different authorities’ main points. Knew them. No forced recall. Being a Harvard bar was great venue for showing off smarts. And set up of opposites: Harvard co-ed vs janitor. Romances need something to keep prospects apart.
Skylar had been pestered by pompous bore before. Happy to see Will “save” her. I find it interesting the distinction between recall and being able to have original thought. My high school valedictorian went to University of Michigan and flunked out. At class reunion years later, I asked what happened. She said, she had memory but not skills to correlate facts.
As writers we are correlators.
Special note: after guys left, Skylar twists to see Will. Set up for later payoff.
My scene of Conflict to show traits, it is long as my pilot ending. Learned to put in more back and forth although Preda and Will both mostly strong monologs
EXT. RED SQUARE INSIDE KREMLIN WALLS BY MOCKBA RIVER AND ST BASILS CATHEDRAL’S SEVEN DOMES. 11 DAYS AFTER LAKE HURON MACKINAW SAILBOAT RACE – 13:19 JULY
Dressed in straw hat and low cut Summer dress and sunglasses, late 30ish TANYA is seated at refreshment area sipping ice tea and glancing anxiously at her watch. And waves away buxom young waitress.
GEORGE enters ancient walled city. Dressed in Grosse Pointe uniform of navy brass buttoned blazer, khaki pants, boat shoes, gray haired 50 ish GEORGE spots TANYA’s straw hat’s long red ribbon floating in breeze. Smiles.
GOD
Remember Saints, we were active, cupids. But now, these total opposites, Tanya versus George are face to pretty face — no interfering!
SAINT SOPHIA
You mean, they got free will freedom to botch everything!
GOD
Hey! IF they, romantically mate, maybe we can learn romantic coupling strategies.
JESUS
Well, Sexual Coupling sure the hell ain’t lasting — with more than half kids only one parent. Like Tolya.
SAINT GEORGE VOICE OVER
Nuts! Don’t believe, even if this experiment finds out romantic Go-Givin’ “How-Tos” — I doubt those lessons be used to keep peace between nukers.”
GEORGE wets his finger and raises it to discern wind direction. And twirls narrow wrapped three foot package.
SAINT NICKOLAS VO
Yeah. Big Guy, you sure nukers wacked Mar’s protective ionoshphere and UV’s started killin life?
GOD VO
Quiet! US versus Russia about to start.
TANYA waves at GEORGE, but GEORGE with hand to eyes, turns around pretending to scan Red Square for TANYA.
SPIRIT
George’s wise Little Voice is coaching —
GEORGE’S LITTLE VOICE
Okay, TIGER. Basics: if you take in Moscow’s unique tourist attractions and go home — you win.
GEORGE nods.
GEORGE’S LITTLE VOICE
And Buddy, DO NOT, DO NOT let Tanya vamp you into going to Siberia!
GEORGE nods and twirls his narrow package.
GEORGE
If all fails, I got my secret weapon.
Beaming, GEORGE approaches TANYA. Slightly bows.
GEORGE
Miss, excuse me, you are the prettiest girl here. Am I meeting face to pretty face, Tanya Koslova?
TANYA extends her hand.
TANYA
Da. Dr. Tanya Oparina Koslova. Doctor in Russian Culture and ballet.
GEORGE suavely kisses her hand, sits, and waves over the curious WAITRESS who hands GEORGE a wine list.
GEORGE
Let’s try pink Georgian bubbly.
TANYA
No CHAMPAGNE! TOO EARLY TO CELEBRATE. NOW NEGOTIATE.
(to waitress)
Beluga. Vodka.
Waitress brings vodka. GEORGE sips it, blinks, and pulls papers from his blazer inside pocket. Hands them to TANYA. TANYA hands GEORGE documents. Both study exchanged documents.
TANYA
Says here you have no STD’s. Does that signify you own no sperm?
GEORGE (sternly)
Raise your hand and swear that you have not been sexually intimate since these tests or your danglies are to be cut off!
TANYA (quizzically)
Danglies?
With two hands, a finger each, GEORGE points to TANYA’s breasts. TANYA smiles. Raises her hand.
TANYA
DA. And rise your hand and swear same or your danglies are to be cut off.
TANYA points to GEORGE’s crotch. GEORGE smiles and raises his hand.
GEORGE
Da. So why did you invite me?
TANYA (melodiously
GEORGE
Da. So why did you invite me?
TANYA (sitting down)
George, you me not ordinary dulls —
From her bra, TANYA pulls out her Siberian Fire earrings.
TANYA (STARING IN GEORGE’S EYES)
You Me rare gems.
(hold gems to sunlight)
My hostile publisher wants late book copy. Gone husband wants me get teen Tolya tutoring in infernal math. So our son gets into foreign college. Not be drafted into Russian Army.
(handing sparkling gems to GEORGE)
When you tell me how to make rose perfume by covering my body with kissed on rose petals and pressing our bodies together together together –I… I very… Wet.
GEORGE admires the stones and test scratches on table top: TK + GD.
Smiles and returns her diamonds which she considers…
TANYA
YOU ME RARE GEMS. Let’s explore for two weeks if we can be an US
TANYA
TANYA scratches on table top by “TK + DG” a big “?”
George shows two pretty women how attach paper to string so it glides up to kite.
TANYA
Let’s not years from now, stare into fire alone and ponder if we drop rare chance for Together Joy — because we NOT BOLD!! !
GEORGE stands, ties string to kite. Tests kite in breeze.
GEORGE
Tanya, you want to fly kite with me?
TANYA
You old man playin’ with boy’s toy. Mr. Drake, Professor Dr. Tatiana Oparina Koslova will be at your hotel at 10 AM. Take you to museums. And then you fly home.
GEORGE crashes down. Mentions to waitress for a re-fill. As she leans over, GEORGE touches her hair.
GEORGE (TO WAITRESS)
Lovely hair. Frames your pretty face.
WAITRESS giggles. TANYA frowns. GEORGE shakes WAITRESS’s hand.
GEORGE
My name’s George. I sail. What do you do for fun?
BUXOM WAITRESS
Natasha. I swim. Race swim.
GEORGE
Amazing…
GEORGE searches through TANYA’S translation book.
GEORGE
Amazing! How can you race swim fast with so much —
GEORGE points to translation book’s Russian word.
— so much resistance?
BUXOM WAITRESS
What re-sis-tance?
GEORGE pantomimes her full bosom curves. WAITRESS giggles.
TANYA
Mr. Drake, you enough vodka. Pay waitress. GO FLY KITE. GO FLY KITE.
GEORGE pays smiling waitress, bows, and testing breeze, GEORGE launches dragon designed kite.
TANYA counts George’s generous tip money to waitress. Keeps some. Turns to WAITRESS. Gives her all tip.
TANYA
Well, no secret morning test. Is he: a merry bird? Or grumpy bear?
BUXOM WAITRESS
Or? Or morning lusty — man?
Kite is soaring above Kremlin. GEORGE waves and growing merry crowd of kids, parents and curious gather.
TANYA
Well, he’s Old! Fat! OLD!
BUXOM WAITRESS
Old men worship one bed. Young men sample beds.
George shows two pretty women how attach paper to string so it glides up to kite.
TANYA
Old too old.
BUXOM WAITRESS
Well, two pretty women like his kite.
TANYA
He’s a bed sampler!
BUXOM WAITRESS
Professor. You fail his secret test!
TANYA frowns, studies GEORGE. Bites lip. Runs toward GEORGE.
TANYA (gasping)
Why brave knight you afraid of me? Why YOUR secret kite test?
GEORGE starts reeling in kite. Crowd pulls back politely.
TANYA
Am I not beautiful? Sexy!
GEORGE (focusing on kite)
Half planet has sexy nipples. And Beaches are littered with beautiful bikinis —
(smiling)
Bikinis that cover those perky nipples. Sometimes not.
Kite falters in weakening wind
GEORGE (focusing on kite)
You NOT fly kite. You NOT playful. YOU — Bad match.
Reeled in dragon designed kite descends near WAITRESS. GEORGE goes to gather it. TANYA tags along. Provocatively wiggles.
GEORGE
Now, you can just wiggle an’ get a man. But at 56 your breasts will sag, butt droops — sad to see an old wiggler, who’s lost her wiggle.
TANYA frowns, cups breasts up and touches her butt.
GEORGE stuffs kite into cloth case. TANYA takes it.
TANYA
I playful. Ski, sail, dance and play in bed.
Taking kite case as a sword, Tanya motions GEORGE to kneel.
TANYA CONTINUING
Kneel.As Czarina, I will knight you Sir George.
GEORGE starts to kneel, then grabs kite.
GEORGE
Bullshit. No Czarina.
GEORGE paces. Paces looking around. Then hears “AAK AAKK” BIRD sounds above. Scanning upward, GEORGE sees two birds playing tag. Waving at TANYA to look up, GEORGE begins little happy jive dance with arms out.
GEORGE (cheerfully loud)
Male Female birds playin’ tag.
GEORGE (cheerfully loud)
NOT baby time. Birds mate for life. Mate for life because they play!
TANYA and GEORGE watch birds playing tag. WAITRESS who with cupid glee returns champagne to ice bucket.
With his hands on TANYA’s shoulders, GEORGE eyes her eyes.
GEORGE
I was selling this lady a roof. She had face of a horse. A body a body like old neglectful grandma.
(beat)
But she talked so playful, playful inflections, playful face, playful hands — I got an erection!
(beat)
GEORGE
Professionally pullin’ it together, I politely asked “You get unwanted sexual advances?”
(beat)
“Yes, I do!” She answered. “Don’t know why! Makes my girlfriends furious when their husbands proposition me!”
GEORGE goes to kiss TANYA’S hand.She shakes him off.
GEORGE
Old dumpy lady was incredibly sexy. Sexy because she was playful!
(beat)
TANYA, you desire romance forever. Well, woman you got to be playful! WE GOT TO PLAY TOGETHER!
TANYA looks at birds playing. Smiles at GEORGE.
TANYA
Mr. Drake, you maybe PhD in Romance —
GEORGE puts arms out like wings and runs in circles by her.
GEORGE
Come on in. Breeze is fine..Fly with me! Fly like a bird! Fly!
TANYA giggles. BUT SHAKES HEAD NO! GEORGE “flies” more.
GEORGE
Come on, Baby. Fly with me. AAKK! AAAKKK! We fly together! AAK!
Crowd gathers. TANYA EMBARRASSED. But WAITRESS pushes TANYA. TANYA shakes her head.
GEORGE flies around them more. WAITRESS nudges TANYA. TANYA plants her feet.
GEORGE
AKKK. AAAAAAkk. AK.
TANYA winces, smiles and joins GEORGE playing bird tag with her arms out like wings in graceful swoops.
TANYA
Aakkk! AAAKKK! Ak!
WAITRESS claps. Encourages CROWD. CROWD claps. TANYA smiles. And tags GEORGE indicating her turn to lead. GEORGE follows her increasingly artistic ballet swoops. CROWD claps louder.
GEORGE
Akkk ak kkkaaa AAAAAKKKKK!
Encouraged, TANYA does trickier swoops. GEORGE can’t follow. Falls down. Tries again. Falls again. TANYA helps him up. Together they retire to WAITRESS’s table. TANYA raises hand.
TANYA (ordering)
Champagne pozhaluysta — now!
Beaming CUPID WAITRESS hurries to serve.
GEORGE
That was fun! Fun! Together!
Champagne is bubbling in glasses. And bubbling.
TANYA
Must finish negotiations. Do we explore be — US?
GEORGE wedges cork back in bottle.
GEORGE (proposing toast)
NO CZARINA. NO BOSS. PARTNERS.
TANYA (toasting)
PARTNERS! DA!
Glasses click. Smiles turn to calculation.
TANYA (proposing toast)
You shower. Smell sweet. Lose weight.
Glasses click. And GEORGE uncorks bottle to refill glasses.
GEORGE
Partner, we’re so different. But maybe your strengths fill my weakness, My strengths fill your weakness. Da?
GEORGE takes her hands and interlocks her fingers with his fingers. TANYA nods agreement. And radiates.
TANYA (proposing toast)
To, my favorite word –SINERGIYA! SYNERGY!
Glasses click and smiling hearts click. GEORGE refills.
GEORGE (proposing toast)
To Exploring Siberian’s Ob Sea –US!
TANYA (toasting)
To Exploring Novosibrisk — US!
Glasses click, WAITRESS claps, GEORGE goes to kiss TANYA’s hand. TANYA abruptly stands.
TANYA
It is gross, vulgar, crude to kiss in public, to hold hands — no public affection!
GEORGE abruptly stands. Drops champaigne glass. Firmly turns shocked TANYA to squarely face him, his serious face to her startled face.
GEORGE
Look gratious affection can be out of place….But, no go to Novosibrisk, nyet — unless you take this vow and in your heart mean it.
TANYA
Vow?
GEORGE
Engagement to engagement to engagement vow. Repeat after me.
TANYA hand motions to proceed.
GEORGE
We are neither young nor old –
TANYA
We neither young nor old –
GEORGE
And with magic of love and laughter
TANYA
With magic of love an’ laughter
GEORGE
We will fight the dark and cold
TANYA
We fight dark an’ cold
GEORGE
And with magic of love and laughter
TANYA
With magic of love and laughter
GEORGE
We will tap into Cosmic Honey Flow
TANYA
We tap into …Cosmic Honey.. Flow —
GEORGE
And air will be golden and our lives will sweetly flow!
TATIANNA embraces and passionately kisses GEORGE. Fervidly they embraces and kiss.
Quiet onlookers respectfully smile. WAITRESS snorts Vodka.
When LOVERS part, they smile and kiss again.
Then TANYA straightens her clothes, combs her hair, GEORGE adjusts his underpants.
TANYA
Think, magic of love and laughter will get us in Museum’s international art display. In right away. My friends say impossible not to wait four hours. But –
GEORGE smiles. Goes to taker her hand, but then offers his arm. Formally-arm-in-arm they leave.
GEORGE
Today, with Magic of Love and Laughter, we’re in..
SPIRT
Heh, Heh. Maybe not. AKA armed gate keepers like to arrest or shoot intruders.
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I agree to agreement
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Edward Brown
5 scripts
have great characters
finish my BW script