[Elizabeth Koenig]

What I learned: to remember to think culturally—in this case not just from a race perspective but also the culture of football, and specifically football in the South with the generational sensibilities of the ‘70’s.

How is this power struggle created? By immediate assertive/aggressive power-plays by Coach Boone and player Gerry Bertier—with more subtle tension between Boone and the white coaching team, led by Bill Yoast.

Coach Boone struts rapidly and in-command onto scene: “Good morning, good morning, good morning, coaches. How are you,” as he hands them a playbook, “Just wanted to let you know what the offense is doing,” and responds to their concern that the handbook is “skinny” by comparing it to Novocain that “always works.” Then he’s immediately confronted by white team Captain Gerry Bertier who introduces himself as “the only All American you got on the team” and issues a highly directive ultimatum: “If you want any of us to play for you, you reserve half the open positions for Hammond players, half the offense, half the special teams. We don’t need any of you for defense; we’re already set.”

What is it about these characters that demand this power struggle?

Boone is assertive/aggressive, confident, but Yoast is more established and ‘winning’—so while demure, we know that Yoast has guts.

Bertier is “All American”—skilled, cocky and potent, the leader of a winningest team. Boone commands, but also needs, him. Bertier does not respect Boone, but is forced, by age and position to behave as if he does. The backdrop is societal tensions between black and white, rivaling schools, and the age-old conflict between teens and adults that all involve power, position, and how individual people experience and understand their world.

How does each character’s audience influence and depend upon this power struggle? Teens embody Bertier and want him (as themselves) to be respected and valued, even as they’re instructed and still cared for (a bit) by adults. While teens necessarily resist and assert their own power, they want support—so they root for Bertier’s success to be born of his own efforts, but within community, and with the guidance of a few trustworthy adults. People who are older may relate more to the coaches and parents, with their “big world” problems (i.e. race issues) and the challenges of ‘handling the kids’ as they also work and, themselves, continue to grow—a process often precipitated by and/or catalyzed with the energy of youth.

The drama this scene is built around: football teams from previously segregated (black and white) schools boarding a bus to travel together to their opening training camp as the first integrated high school football team in the American South.

Expressing their Profile Traits through words and action: Bertier and Boone as above show:

Bertier: Confidence/cockiness; athletically talented; assertive/aggressive; prejudiced

Boone: Assertive/aggressive (offense as a defense—covering his wound of racial discrimination experiences); talented coach; confident; family man

[Elizabeth Koenig]

What I learned: how powerful it can be to take a highly emotionally-charged concept like prejudice and show how it can take many forms, beyond what’s most obvious, by having a ‘typical victim’ of one kind of prejudice be prejudiced himself in another way. I guess I’m saying, I need to remember to consider theme from multiple points of view…

How mismatched are these two?

Different diction (words for) e.g. “elephant tusks”/“horns”; “molar/shark-tooth”/“gift”; “Musician”/“What? You mean songs?”Different status, visualized by different chairs (typical versus gilded-throne) Different idea of what an office looks like, what “doctor” means, what an “assistant” does (i.e. polishes shoes, irons clothes—or not, and what activities are demeaning)Different traditional educational/street-smarts level, as evidenced by the way they use words/phrases in dialogue: “In what capacity” “What do you mean?” What did you do there?” And: “Public relations” (when Tony means ‘managing conflict’ as a mafia tough guy)Differing ideas about what makes a person valuable. To Doc it’s ‘golden’ image and performance, how you “appear” to “Old Money/Cultured Whites.” To Tony it’s one’s core values and behavior.Differences in ‘refinement.’ “What, we bringing broads?” Versus everything Doc does and says.

What do they have to get over to be able to work together and become friends?

Come to see their similarities and use their differences to help each other grow.

Knowing that Tony gets the job, how does this mismatch create a future for both characters:

Tony’s future involves losing his prejudice (of blacks), and coming to value/embrace education—indeed benefitting from it in his relationship with his wife—as he’s also personally enriched by a culture that’s previously felt intimidating and beyond his reach (so he’s defensively dismissed). In Doc’s future is a growing appreciation for the beauty and value in Tony’s culture, which includes genuine intimacy with others, something Doc will “grow into” by coming to value himself as he sees himself through Tony’s eyes: as valuable, simply because he ‘exists,’ rather than for his image and performance. Doc will also overcome his own prejudice toward those with less education and “culture”—as he defensively defines it. And find the family he craves.

The scene is built around the drama of a job interview with quiet conflict between two characters who have such profoundly differing ideas about which human attributes and activities are—alternatively— “demeaning” and “of value” that compromise seems impossible. Yet they desperately need each other.

Wound (in subtext)—Doc is “over-the-top” compensating for poor self worth. Tony’s humiliated by his lack of education and wants to be more romantic with his wife, but doesn’t know how.

Traits: Doc: Educated (diction examples above—and, “That’s why I called inquiring about your availability”), Musically accomplished (a doctor of music), Defensively egotistical/elitist/prejudiced; Lonely. Tony: Devoted/kind, Tough, Street-smart (“You. In the deep South. There’s gonna be problems). A Family Guy

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Haven’t seen this movie, but…Great characters: the ironic combination of intellectual/educated, artistic/showman (with guns) and fighters—in not only one but (presumably) both the antagonist and protagonist. Makes room for stiff conflict and complex and intense drama.

What tension comes from putting these two worthy opponents face-to-face: they’re immediately in conflict.

What does Doc discover about Johnny’s character in their first meeting—something reminds him of himself—coldness? But then he also learns Johnny has been classically educated.

These two characters stand out from the others: intellectuals/highly educated, ‘refinement’ in interaction and long-practiced skill (gun swinging)— and fighters, like the rest.

Drama the scene is built around: new lawman meets well-established gang-head in crowed bar—where they strut to the point of a gun being pulled—then expertly spun. Future: they’re clearly in for a major fight. Character traits as above

[Elizabeth Koenig]

What I learned: partner characters who are very similar make powerful co-protagonists

What causes you to believe these two belong together?

Tom believes in potential/promise, and understands that you need harnessed ‘fight’ to win in this world. He literally sees— in mirrored presentation—both jockey and horse are willing to thrash against large numbers of ‘assailants,’ to the point of injury and maybe death. Tom realizes this grit can be trained for competition in both and understands that Red and Seabiscuit will come to see themselves in each other, providing the foundation for the deep respect and empathy from which a successful partnership can emerge.

Similar emotions: passionate and extreme ‘fight’ and confidence. Similar action: the wild thrash with which they resist.

Drama the scene is built around: Tom NEEDS to find a jockey who is willing—and able—to ride this horse. And the cocky jockey he’s found has just stormed away, calling the horse ‘nuts.’

Right characters: identical temperaments in horse and jockey

Wound: have they both been abused before? I can’t remember.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Learned: when you’re behind, a good clip and some guidance can get you back in the ring…

What causes you to believe these two belong together?

Similar emotions: both are lonely/pining for connection with another adult. Both care about kids (Annie reacts to the therapist’s concern about Jonah with visual empathy, and also as Sam talks about the pain for both father and son of Christmas without his wife). Both are a bit put off by the pretentiousness of “Dr. Marsha.” Words: they think/understand the world similarly, saying the same words “Oh, sure you do—” mean to invade his privacy. Annie (who knows how much she needs someone to deeply connect with) answers for Sam that he needs someone as much as Jonah does. Actions: Annie was so engaged with Sam and Jonah during the call that she has to ‘sigh’ and ‘shake’ herself back to her own reality at the end.

What drama is this scene built around? The ‘fall-out’ of Jonah’s concern for his father, and the letter he’s written to a radio therapist in his search for help.

Profile items: right character: Annie’s belief in ‘meant to be’ allows her to consider a man all the way across the country. Sam’s committed enough to his son that he’d consider a woman Jonah picks out. Traits: both romantic/intimate “she made everything beautiful,” and Annie visually empathizing with that; Sam is hesitant and Annie willing to jump right in even if she’s engaged to someone else—provides conflict. Wound: Annie’s with the wrong guy; Sam’s lost the wife he loves.

Characters are great from a writing perspective: they’re both committed to kids, Annie’s belief in destiny and capacity for tremendous empathy allows her to be thoroughly comfortable dating a grieving guy with a son. Annie’s ability to play and be impulsive can catapult them over the hurdles.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

What I learned: it’s helpful to bullet point the steps in emotional scenes to make sure each action/reaction builds…

What causes both characters to reveal their wounds? Prior experiences have taught Will that interpersonal connectedness brings physical/psychological trauma and abandonment, so he’s coped by avoiding new relationships. Skylar has coped with her wound of parental death by continuing to work/learn and risk love. Skylar’s excitement about her idea of Will joining her in California forces her to, incrementally, increase the pressure on Will so he’ll make a decision—and then explain why he’s reluctant to come. The emotional pressure on Will raises with each step:

· Come to California! Will asks, “But how do you know (it’s safe)”

· Skylar communicates she doesn’t really know, but does, in a way, because she ‘feels it.’ —which forces Will to re-feel—and anticipate a re-experiencing of the sadistic childhood experiences he associates with the vulnerability of connection, which he tries to explain by saying she might want a “take back” (change her mind), which…

· Skylar doesn’t emotionally relate to, so she restates her request: I want you to come to California, forcing Will to say he can’t go to California and Skylar to ask, “why not” which Will tries to explain with ‘surface’ arguments: his job. His home, prompting Skylar to say…

· “If you don’t love me, just say” which Will reacts to with “I’m not saying I don’t love you” so Skylar demands, then why, what are you so scared of, and Will’s dismissing ‘toss-off’ line, “what am I so scared of?” Evokes frustration in Skylar such that she says what she sees (his feelings and defenses): you’re scared. You avoid by living in this safe little world, which causes Will to become defensive and reveal his Worldview expectations of her:

· “You just want to have your fling with the guy from the other side of town” before you marry some other trust fund baby your parents will approve of” which causes Skylar to tell him his view of her is wrong, by disclosing her past & on-going emotional state…

· Skylar reveals her money’s from her father death, and that she’d trade it for another day with him if she could, but since she can’t (acceptance) she just deals with her reality (insinuating: like he should), after which she demands…

· “Don’t put your shit (fear) on me” we’re both scared. And calls out something else she sees: his dishonesty. “What about your twelve brothers” from which, Will tries to escape by…

· Trying to physically leave, which Skylar physically prevents, which…

· Forces Will to fully feel and express his emotions, and disclose his severe childhood abuse and abandonment, and say, “You don’t want to hear this” which…

· Prompts Skylar to say that she does want to hear/help which…

· Makes Will feel humiliated, and demand, “Do I look like I need to be saved” and..

· Skylar to say (and feel deeply), again, “I just love you. If you say you don’t love me, then I won’t call you, I won’t be in your life.” And Will to say…

· I don’t love you—and leave, Skylar devastated.

How are those wounds motivating their emotions, actions, and reactions?

Skylar’s wound has motivated her to live fully and truthfully, which causes her to persistently push (continuously ‘upping the ante’) Will into “full truth and living.”

Will’s wounds have caused him to limit his world, and his sharing of that world (and himself), which causes him to try to shut down Skylar’s requests and attempts to more deeply understand him with increasingly desperate and dramatic measures. His final three being: verbal and physical violence (yelling, pounding the wall), emotional (and dishonest) violence—“I don’t love you” and physically leaving.

How is each character threatening the other’s wound? Skylar’s coping by “living” is threatened when the man she loves copes by “not living.” And vice verse.

The drama the scene was built around is forced self-disclosure of their deepest wounds.

What traits showed up in these character’s words and actions?

Will:

· Protective/loyal (tries his absolute best, given the growth he has yet to do, to ‘stay in the ring’—avoid breaking up with her)

· Tough – a fighter (as above. Also, his physical reactions)

· Sensitive (the intensity with which he responds to Skylar’s and his own pain)

· Brilliant/photographic mind (how many ‘chess moves’ Skylar must make before Will ‘breaks’ and discloses his trauma.

Great as a character because of how intensely Will’s tough/street smarts are defending him, psychologically, in ways that will need to be defeated for his arc.

Skylar:

· Supportive/respectful (her kind, gentle commitment and attempts to use her own disclosure of love and struggle as the primary means of reaching Will).

· Confident (she keeps doggedly on, in this psychologically defensive ‘chess game’ with uber-intelligent Will

· Smart (as above)

· Playful/fun (how she tickles his back and attempts to otherwise emotionally, playfully engage Will).

Great as a character because: her fun, love and wound all force Will’s journey.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

What I learned: It’s a good exercise to analyze clips of shows one hasn’t seen…

How is Kate’s secret set up: I’ve not watched Lost. I’m guessing Kate has not told anyone what she did or that she’d been arrested. But apparently she’s acted in ways (and/or others have said things) that made Jack and Sawyer suspicious. Based on the game Sawyer seduces Kate to play, Sawyer thinks she’s murdered someone.

What causes demand to know what the secret is? Marshall is severely agitated, dying and his delirium makes it difficult for him to him clearly articulate something he seems to think Jack desperately needs to know. Presumably Marshall is the only one who knows that Kate poses a danger to those on the island.

How is Kate’s secret revealed? During a drinking game Sawyer has enticed Kate into. What I’m wondering is why Kate is willing to share this with Sawyer. She hasn’t consumed enough alcohol to have lost agency.

Dramas the secret reveal are built around: a dying man needing to warn others of a risk only he is aware of; a sexually-charged drinking game where honesty is part of the ‘fun.’ A flashback of the actual murder.

Traits (best I can guess from these scenes)

Jack: diligent/responsible; medically-trained/smart (sewing a wound, commenting on his patient’s sensorium); ethical (facial reaction to the flyer—repulsion); feels things deeply (his reactions to the flyer, and his patient)

Kate: empathically-challenged/cold (seen in her interactions with the drunk man, the action—and obvious premeditation—of the murder, her callous driving away and also in her coy/coldness as she interacts with Sawyer); strong-willed (if she’s “dangerous” and the men have sensed she’s hiding something, she must be acting from a center of volition—also, of course, she decided to commit murder—and then did). Calculating (the explosion reveals complex premeditation).

I don’t know about the plots & themes—and how they are developed—to comment much on how the characters are ‘good’ for this show. Apparently Lost involves survival on an island in a science-fiction/fantasy world and pits science against mythology/religion. So obviously a doctor comes in handy. The other characters seem a bit ‘stock’ from the minuscule view I’ve so far had.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Bagger Vance: sees the big picture and the growth and work Junah still has to do—that will affect many people both presently alive and (in the future) about to die.

Right for the roles: Bagger has supernatural knowledge somehow about how Junah’s life fits into the cosmos—and can support and heal him as he helps him learn what he must. Juhan is traumatized and must heal and get back into life for the benefit of many, as well as himself.

Drama the scene was built around: a stranger materializes out of the night and knows way too much about this traumatized golfer when he offers to caddy for him at the exhibition match.

Traits in Juhah’s words:

· An assertive fighter who has (mostly) given up: “you going to hit the ball or you gonna dance with it” “Hit the ball.” “I don’t need a caddie. I’m not playing.

· Generous: offers food, to let Bagger hit.

· Great golfer: “You’re a golfer” (recognizes skill)

Traits in Juhna’s actions:

· An assertive fighter who has (mostly) given up: though he’s declined to play, he’s out working on his swing late at night.

· Generous: offers Bagger food, to hit balls

· Great golfer whose swing is off: keeps trying.

Traits in Bagger’s words:

· Supernatural knowledge: “big match coming up. Fella gonna be needing a caddie.” “The trick is to find your swing” (based on Juha’s reaction he’s previously said he’s lost his swing/needs to find it, in these exact words). “I ain’t seen a man hit a ball like that since the north-south championship of 1916.”

· Challenges people: “that depends. You a golfer?” “Don’t make no sense, is all. Man say he don’t play no golf, yet he out here in this shade of night, hitting balls off in the dark where he can’t even see ‘em.” I ain’t seen a man hit a ball like that since the north-south championship of 1916. You know they stopped play for 20 minutes to figure out how far it went—“ reminding him of his previous ability as a challenge. “You lost your swing. We got to go find it.”

· POV: Glorifies God: “taking in some of God’s glories.” “Lord knows…”

· Poetic/speaks in metaphor “yeah, the rhythm of game, just like the rhythm of life” “grip on his club like his grip on the world.” “Somewhere in the harmony of all that is, all that was, all that will be…” “shade of night”

·

Traits in Bagger’s actions:

· Supernatural knowledge: doesn’t get hit by the golf ball and isn’t worried he might; walks right in front of Juhna because his ‘off’ swing isn’t sending the ball that way. Great swing even though he “don’t play golf.” Knows Juhna lost his swing, which disturbs Juhna.

· Challenges people: keeps talking to Juhna, even as Juhna’s annoyed. Offers to caddy—for $5 guarantee. His low-ball explained by his lack of faith that Juhna will play and will play well.

· POV: Glorifies God: grateful, seems to obedient to some kind of healing authority

· Poetic/Speaks in metaphor: as above

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth –

What I learned: I’ve somehow never considered that always as I write a scene, I could be thinking about what that scene is setting up for the future. Like every scene. Now, there’s a breakthrough I needed…

Future Sarah Connor is living into: Mother of the Future: conceiving a child (John) with Kyle who she will toughen up to raise as a strong, trustworthy, inspiring fighter the leader of the rebellion.

Future Kyle Reese is living into: Fathering John, teaching Sarah how—and inspiring her—to fight, bearing battle wounds and ultimately sacrificing his life to save her.

Sarah’s transformation implied by this scene: toughening up and learning to become the legendary Mother of the Future by conceiving and raising/training it’s future leader.

Drama the scene built around: hiding in a cold tunnel, Sarah applies her first “combat dressing” as she hears a “call to action” message from her future son and begins a friendship with Kyle that will become intimate.

Kyle’s Traits in words:

Tough: Re: gunshot wound: “Forget it.” Re: time travel: “White light. Pain. Like being born, maybe”

Battle trained: “Take this (first aid kit). Alright let’s get this off the road.” “You stay down by day…they use infrared…it’s when the infiltrators started to appear. The terminators were the newest. The worst…”

Romantic/compassionate: “Cold?” “I volunteered. It was a chance to meet the legend. Sarah Connor, who taught her son to fight, organize, prepare from when he was a kid.”

Loyal: “I’d die for John Connor”

Kyle’s Traits in action:

Tough: ignores his gun shot wound; talks, nonchalant as she dresses this wound

Battle trained: pushes car into hiding, leads Sarah to a good hiding place

Romantic/compassionate: moves beside her to warm her up. Suggests she sleep.

Loyal: has volunteered for a lethal mission and is carrying it out despite injury

Sarah’s Traits in words:

Willing/able to learn challenging and unbelievable things: “What’s it like going through time?” Re: field dressing: (wryly) “You like it? It’s my first.” “Talk to me some more. Tell me about where you’re from.”

Tough/feisty (demanding):“you got a first name?” (ironically/irritated as she quickly/strongly stands up): “Come on, do I look like I could be the Mother of the Future? Am I tough? Organized? I can’t even balance a checkbook. Look, Reese, I didn’t ask for this honor and I don’t want it. Any of it!”

Steps up to challenges/take charge: re: Kyle’s jacket/wound “We got to get you do a doctor!” “Take this off!” When Kyle is telling her more than she wants to hear: “Wait. I don’t want to know.”

Sarah’s Traits in action:

Willing/able to learn challenging and unbelievable things: asks Kyle to tell her things about John, the war, the future

Tough/feisty: pulls hard on the bandage as she complains, “It’s driving me crazy!” Strong physicality and tough tone as she denies she could be the Mother of the Future.

Steps up to challenges/take charge: deals with Kyle’s wound even though it makes her nauseated.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

What I learned: you can always see/learn something new.

Will:

· Protective/loyal

· Tough – a fighter

· Sensitive

· Brilliant/photographic mind

Great as a (written) character because: of the juxtaposition of tough/street smarts with learnedness and genius. Will has “the furthest to go” as a fiercely-loyal, wounded and impoverished ‘kid’ who must leave friends (the only family he’s had) to embrace the manhood he’s called to, which involves a long-term romantic relationship and the kind of work that he’s got the rarest of gifts to do.

Skylar:

· Supportive/respectful

· Confident

· Smart

· Playful/fun

Great as a (written) character because: her fun lightens Will’s journey (and enlivens the stuffiness of this academic setting/topic) as she offers the respectful support Will needs.

Chuckie:

· Hip/cool

· Spirited/with ‘game’

· Limited education

· Leader

Great as a (written) character because: there’s an attempt to portray a cognitively much less-endowed character who truly values, without jealously, another man’s brilliant mind—and wants him to succeed in ways he can not. Though I’m not sure Ben was the best actor for this role. It’s hard to hide that kind of intellect, imho. The eyes betray…

Harvard – because the movie is “About” genius—so setting delivers the concept. Bar because it’s entertaining, and creates an opportunity to show, at once, Will as loyal, tough and wicked-smart.

Drama that triggers/delivers:

Chuckie, with his hip/cool game-strut, leads the way into the bar and quickly engages more educated women with a pick-up line that triggers Skylar’s playful engagement. Morgan and Will watch, like they expect Chuckie to entertain (delivering: he’s their spirited leader). Then a Harvard grad student sadistically and effectively (delivering Chuckie’s limited education) challenges Chuckie’s “you were in my history class” play, which triggers Skylar’s confident and supportive counterstrike at the student, as she registers (delivers: she’ssmart) the power-imbalance between the mens’ education and intellect.

The Harvard grad student shaming Chuckie for sport triggers Will’s empathetic/sensitive facial expression, after which he loyally jumps in to protect/defend his friend. After defeating the student intellectually, by exposing his plagiarism and lack of original thought—which delivers Will’s Brilliant/photographic mind trait—Will suggests they “take it outside,” delivering his fighter” one.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth Koenig

“I agree to the terms of this release form.”

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Hi, I’m Elizabeth, with 7 scripts in varying stages of completion/revision, two of which need particular character/subtext work—so I’m looking forward to this class and getting to know all of you!

I come from the novel world. Hal’s Thriller class helped me re-focus for the third draft of a pandemic virus novel. I was deep in revision (and also writing the screenplay) when the first cases of endemic COVID presented to my husband’s hospitals in the Seattle area. Needless to say, all of that work is ‘in a drawer’ …

[Elizabeth Koenig]

If anyone is still up to exchange…?

Elizabeth’s query

What I learned—love having a few SPECIFIC forms to play around with! I’ve been needing direction.

Subject Line: Dramedy: WHAT FREUD FORGOT

Good news: Ed helped lots of patients. Bad news: he hasn’t worked through his own issues. Fortunately, a dysfunctional family he didn’t know he had is about to drop-kick the retired psychiatrist back into his teenage hell.

Ed’s only love has died; they’d just reunited after fifty years. Now the chaotic family of her adopted-out son has Ed coaxing retirement home friends to help with their problems, including granddaughter Grace’s sixth marriage attempt to the father of her children.

But when Ed learns the son is his, too—and the man suddenly dies—Ed regresses into the firewater of his youth.

As friends manage wedding disasters, Ed’s grandkids, including a D1 footballer who wants to be dancing, help Summer-of-Love minister, Jewels, sober Ed up, so he can face his final demon by once again playing his beloved acid-rock when Grace walks down the aisle. Before he—

Awakens. It was only a dream.

Transformed, Ed gets a parting gift from the Collective Unconscious when he meets: Grace and Jewels!

If the concept works for you, I’d love to send you the script.

Elizabeth Koenig, MD

Elizabethkoenig18@gmail.com

(206) 356-8661

https://elizabethkoenigmd.com

Elizabeth is a “fully-analyzed” psychiatrist, married to a psychiatrist.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Marketing (and ongoing script development) Campaign

What I learned: Great idea to be thinking ahead. It will not only help once I have competed scripts, but it inspires me to COMPLETE scripts.

Development and Marketing Campaign Statement: Complete and elevate—then market my 6 (comedy/profound) scripts, all currently partially developed—beginning when 1-2 are completed.

Main Strategies:

Complete: finish current script. Then my second most developed.

Daily produced screenplay reading

Daily skill building/review (from Hal’s various classes’ notes and Trottier’s text)

Elevate: work with new critique group; consult prior mentor David Trottier and/or Chris Soth—or others once scripts complete; Hal’s Professional Rewrite and Get Your Script to Power Players

Market—as projects become sellable, increasingly develop market strategies with tactic ideas below

Tactics list:

· Clarify and build brand

· Begin blog posts and/or podcast for marriage book content (in current development with my fellow psychiatrist husband) and otherwise build following for psychiatric self help work – use to promote screenplays

· Consider if/when to develop documentary on first endemic COVID in Washington state with personal connections (Michael Osterholm, Anthony Fauci, local medical providers/public health and personal experience)

· What Freud Forgot: utilize Rainn Wilson connection to see if Steve Carell might read 10 pages

· With Standard Model of Perfect, consider finishing this YA novel simultaneously with the screenplay

· Specifically finish the (yet untitled) project my son’s producer friend (Scott Budnic) and I share a deep passion for (recidivism prevention/rehabilitation/mental health care)– then ask him to read 10 pages

· Consider starting a Producers Group geared toward improving psychiatric/psychological understanding – if that would even be a ‘thing’ ?

· Daily script writing

· Daily produced script reading

· Daily ongoing learning (comedy; subtext; dialogue, formatting)

· Weekly critique group work

· Continue to develop and better understand overall marketing with Hal’s Marketing class

· Improve understanding of low/medium budget, etc.—how to understand where my scripts “fit.” Sources include: Stage 32, Industrial Script resources, those from ProSeries Marketing lessons

· Identify appropriate budget, genre, etc directors/producers for each project

· Send query letters to these directors, producers, actors as appropriate

· Six-degrees-of-separation networking (which is, I feel like I have heard this from Hal before?)

· Join industry groups? Need to learn more about this.

· Volunteer at industry events? Learn how!

· Follow producers, directors on Twitter

· Do Toastmasters with Hal and work on pitching skills – then attend Pitch Fests

· Enter contests

· Attend conference on directing /producing be better understand these aspects of film production.

Print this list—I almost forgot!

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Target Market:

What I learned: Wow. I had no idea…

Possible Movie Comps/mashups: Little Miss Sunshine, Love Actually, Last Vegas, Love the Coopers, Grandma, Juno, Hangover

Ed: Morgan Freeman (84); Robert De Niro (78), Bill Murray (71), Tom Hanks (65) , Stellan Skarsgard (70),

Christopher: Tom Holland (25); Jace Norman (21); Joshua Bassett (21)

Grace: Zendaya (add to this)

Mike: Harry Stiles (28); Zac Efron (35) Alden Ehrenreich (32), Michael B. Jordan (35) Andrew Garfield (38) George MacKay (30)

Mark: Steve Carell (59)

Walt: Alan Arkin 87

Producer list:

Michael Amodio (Living With Yourself, TV with director Jonathan Dayton)

Judd Apatow (40 Year Old Virgin 2005 with actor Steve Carell from LMS)

Chelsea Barnard (Foxcatcher with Steve Carell)

Hank Bedford (Foxcatcher with Steve Carell)

Albert Berger (Little Miss Sunshine – LMS – Directed by Jonathan Dayton) (Ruby Sparks with Dayton)

Michael Beugg (LMS – Directed by Jonathan Dayton)

Tim Bevan (with Alan Arkin in Definitely Maybe)

Jeffrey Blitz (Living With Yourself, TV with director Jonathan Dayton)

Danny Boyle (Battle of the Sexes with director Jonathan Dayton)

Anthony Bregman (Living With Yourself, TV with director Jonathan Dayton) (Foxcatcher with Steve Carell)

Jeb Brody (LMS – Directed by Jonathan Dayton)

Eryn Brown (Crazy Stupid Love with Steve Carell)

Lilly Burns (Living With Yourself, TV with director Jonathan Dayton)

Tim Burton (Dumbo with Alan Arkin)

Steve Carell ((40 Year Old Virgin 2005 with actor Steve Carell from LMS) Crazy Stupid Love with Steve Carell)

Liza Chasin (with Alan Arkin in Definitely Maybe)

Andrew Jay Cohen (40 Year Old Virgin 2005 with actor Steve Carell from LMS)

Bobby Cohen (with Alan Arkin in Definitely Maybe)

Michael Coleman (Foxcatcher with Steve Carell)

Christian Colson (Battle of the Sexes with director Jonathan Dayton)

Anna Culp (with Alan Arkin in Love the Coopers 2016)

Paul Dano (Ruby Sparks with Dayton)

Jonathan Dayton (Living With Yourself, TV with director Jonathan Dayton)

Vance DeGeneres Crazy Stupid Love with Steve Carell)

Denice Di Novi Crazy Stupid Love with Steve Carell)

Megan Ellison (Foxcatcher with Steve Carell)

Falerie Faris (Living With Yourself, TV with director Jonathan Dayton)

Eric Fellner (with Alan Arkin in Definitely Maybe)

Karl Frankenfield (Living With Yourself, TV with director Jonathan Dayton)

Katterli Frauenfelder (Dumbo with Alan Arkin)

Derek Frey (Dumbo with Alan Arkin)

David T. Friendly (LMS – Directed by Jonathan Dayton)

Robin Mulcahy Frischella (as Robin Fisichella) ((with Alan Arkin in Love the Coopers 2016)

Ted Gidlow (with Alan Arkin in Love the Coopers 2016)

John P. Giura (Foxcatcher with Steve Carell)

Nigel Gostelow (Dumbo with Alan Arkin)

Robert Graf (Ruby Sparks with Dayton) (Battle of the Sexes with director Jonathan Dayton)

Karen Ruth Getchell (Battle of the Sexes with director Jonathan Dayton)

Kristin Gore (Foxcatcher with Steve Carell)

Timothy Greenberg (Living With Yourself, TV with director Jonathan Dayton)

Jeffery Harlacker (Battle of the Sexes with director Jonathan Dayton) Crazy Stupid Love with Steve Carell)

Charlie Hartsock Crazy Stupid Love with Steve Carell)

Tom Heller (Foxcatcher with Steve Carell)

Lisa Henson (Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day with Steve Carell

Tony Hernandez (Living With Yourself, TV with director Jonathan Dayton)

Zoe Kazan (Ruby Sparks with Dayton)

Diane Keaton (with Alan Arkin in Love the Coopers 2016)

Kathleen Kennedy (with Alan Arkin in Signs)

Jon Kilik (Foxcatcher with Steve Carell)

T. K. Knowles (Ruby Sparks with Dayton)

Ehren Kruger (Dumbo with Alan Arkin)

Dan Levine (Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day with Steve Carell

Shawn Levy (Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day with Steve Carell

Bart Lipton (LMS – Directed by Jonathan Dayton) (Ruby Sparks with Dayton)

Blanca Lista (Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day with Steve Carell

Michael London (with Alan Arkin in Love the Coopers 2016)

Jason Lust (Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day with Steve Carell

Frank Marshall (with Alan Arkin in Signs)

Sam Mercer (with Alan Arkin in Signs)

Bennett Miller (Foxcatcher with Steve Carell)

Jessie Nelson with (Alan Arkin in Love the Coopers 2016)

John O’Grady (Ruby Sparks with Dayton)

Kerry Orent (with Alan Arkin in Definitely Maybe)

John Poll ((40 Year Old Virgin 2005 with actor Steve Carell from LMS)

Isabel Richardson (Living With Yourself, TV with director Jonathan Dayton)

Steven Rogers (with Alan Arkin in Love the Coopers 2016)

Kim Roth (with Alan Arkin in Love the Coopers 2016)

Will Rack (Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day with Steve Carell

Scott Robertson (Foxcatcher with Steve Carell)

Shauna Robertson (40 Year Old Virgin 2005 with actor Steve Carell from LMS)

Seth Rogen(40 Year Old Virgin 2005 with actor Steve Carell from LMS)

Paul Rudd (Living With Yourself, TV with director Jonathan Dayton)

Chuck Ryant (Ruby Sparks with Dayton)

Peter Saraf (LMS – Directed by Jonathan Dayton)

Ron Schmidt (Foxcatcher with Steve Carell)

Mark Schultz (Foxcatcher with Steve Carell)

David A. Siegel Crazy Stupid Love with Steve Carell)

John Skidmore (Living With Yourself, TV with director Jonathan Dayton)

Thomas Patrick Smith (Battle of the Sexes with director Jonathan Dayton)

Justin Springer (Dumbo with Alan Arkin)

Jeff Stern (Living With Yourself, TV with director Jonathan Dayton)

Philip Steuer (Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day with Steve Carell

Marsha L. Swinton (with Alan Arkin in Love the Coopers 2016)

Ron Schmidt (Foxcatcher with Steve Carell)

Mark Schultz (Foxcatcher with Steve Carell)

M. Night Shyamalan (with Alan Arkin in Signs)

Clayton Townsend (40 Year Old Virgin 2005 with actor Steve Carell from LMS)

Marc Tuttletaub (LMS – Directed by Jonathan Dayton)

Janice Williams (with Alan Arkin in Love the Coopers 2016)

Ron Yerza (LMS – Directed by Jonathan Dayton) (Ruby Sparks with Dayton)

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth has Lots of Hooks”

What I learned doing this assignment is that brainstorming this gives me many more ideas for how to craft a query. Well, and transferring my Word doc bullet points doesn’t work.

· Unique:

Ø Sex/love/vibrancy-work/joy/celebration at a nursing home with variously-abled

Ø Don doing some fantastic fix of some electronic thing from a wheelchair with an arm that doesn’t work well

Ø Ed is insanely CONTROLLING—of himself only, including unto death (his coffin bed)

Ø Christopher is a football star who loves ballet

Ø Jewels’ schizotypal/metaphysical and ‘60’s-70’s shine’

Ø Grace and Mike’s fights that turn on a dime

· Special:

Ø Judy and Walt’s astonishing 60 year-love (how do they do it?)

Ø Demented lady who dances exquisitely

Ø Kristian’s pure joy

Ø How everyone can work, love and… together

· Surprising:

Ø Pat-70’s biker chick with ADHD – unabashedly sexual, chaotic and energetic

Ø Ed looks too young for this crowd. Gets in a coffin bed

Ø Eligible women ogling, coming on to Ed in vibrant/sexual ways

Ø Grace and Mike have a 17 year old

Ø Mark’s only been in Grace’s life for 2 weeks

Ø Christopher suddenly ballet-lifts another player

Ø Pushing the sex/love envelopes throughout in unusual ways

Ø Ed was never married to Susan and had just “hooked back up” with her

Ø Ed’s a former addict

· Shocking

Ø Grace wants to get married in a graveyard

Ø Ed’s Mark’s father from “heavy petting” as a teen

Ø Christopher quits at half-time when his D1 scouts are watching

Ø Mark dies. Then we learn he was dying of cancer

Ø How quickly/severely Ed gets ‘off the wagon’—and the trauma of his addict Father’s death that is behind this

Ø

· Intriguing:

Ø Ed is a Freud Doppelgänger

Ø Ed meets a woman who is the doppelgänger of the woman in his picture (his life’s love)

Ø Christopher can’t get out of bed. But he’s a popular football star

Ø Christopher is a doppelgänger of Ed

Ø Jewels seems to resonate with the Universe—knows things Ed does not. And Knows she knows.

Ø

· Interesting/Strange/Fascinating

Ø All of the weirdness of Freud throughout

Ø All the weirdness of Jewels and how this weirdness can marry with Freud’s

· Entertaining/Fun:

Ø Grace’s choir kids performing as Mike and Grace’s fight reveals details of their elaborate sex lives

Ø Christopher’s Dance Mob

Ø Acid rock wedding music/dance fest

Ø Chaos of Grace’s family – and how it pushes Ed to grow

Ø 60’s/70’s ‘play’

Ø Ed escapes to his room, his car, the bottom of the pool

Ø Old dudes look exactly like the young ones around the strip tease scene

Ø Jewels ‘conducts’ the chaos

#2 Character assignments as described above.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Marketable Components

What I learned: I’ll do this iteratively throughout the developmental and creative process.

Working Logline:

When a loner, retired psychiatrist meets the chaotic family of the son his deceased “one and only love” gave up for adoption as a teen, he recruits his retirement home-mates to help with their menagerie of psychological needs—and as everyone comes to “love and work” (a la Freud) better, gets forced to face his own demons when he discovers this is actually his biological family, too.

It’s a first:

Engaging illustration of what the controversial father of psychology got right—and wrong—and how a better understanding of human nature can set the world free.

Elevated with: Entertaining illustrations of psychological defenses, a menagerie of psychological dysfunction (think: As Good as it Gets; Silver Lining’s Playbook, etc.); all the complexities and titillations of sex; and a Freud-like character who finally gets happy.

Pitch: For all the people Freud helped, the man, himself was miserable—because of what he forgot. Here’s a story about a psychiatrist who, when he’s forced to do his own psychological work, discovers that knowing what Freud got wrong can set the world free.

Wide audience appeal:

Compelling roles for bankable actors in multiple demographics (teen, 30’s, 70’s). A comedy with content—about love, work, sex AND…

Timely:

For people emerging from isolation and craving connectivity, with more awareness of the value and needs of people of all ages.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s running behind!

What I learned: I’m glad we have access to these forums to keep rehashing. But for a start…

Working Logline:

When a retired psychiatrist meets the family of the son his recently deceased “one and only love” gave up for adoption as a teen, he recruits his retirement home friends to help with their plethora of psychological needs—and while everyone comes to “love and work” (a la Freud) better, finally faces his own demons.

Genre: Comedy-drama

Most attractive:

· The hook-question of what Freud forget. And why it might be helpful for everyone to know.

· A simple, humorous portrayal of some ideas that Freud got right—so anyone can understand.

A story for people of all ages, about people of all ages loving, working (a la Freud)—and (what Freud forgot)—to enrich the lives of all.

…In a culture that has long warehoused the elderly and their riches, and at a time when so many of us have suffered the solitary deaths of our aged loved ones.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Hi everyone. Anyone interested in working with someone who seems to run chronically 2 weeks behind? I hope to post my first 10 tomorrow. 🙃 I’m elizabethkoenig18@gmail.com

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Opening Scene is Irresistible. Maybe. Actually, after I post, I’m going to write the other scenes from day 2 and see what they do. But, so as not to get further behind than I chronically am…

EXT. RETIREMENT HOME ESTATE – TWILIGHT

A tour bus winds heavily-flowered, manicured grounds. Passes a sign: “GARDENS BY THE WATER-Restful Living.” A fountain. Stops at the awninged entrance of…

…the main building. Stucco & soft-light, it could be a 5-Star hotel—but for wheelchairs & white-uniformed staff.

EXT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – ENTRANCE -SAME

A lift lowers. LAUREN, 24, leaps from it. Swirls a wheelchair into the waiting hands of a BUBBLY WORKER.

BUBBLY WORKER

(Fussing as she pushes)

Welcome back Don! Was getting out exactly what you needed?

(And)

Shall we go to your room first?

We can’t hear Don’s answer, with the lift screeching back up and a ruckus at the front of the bus—.

BUS DRIVER (O.S.)

Dr. Cummings! You need to wait for Lauren!

DR. ED CUMMINGS (O.S.)

(Pushes the bus door open)

What I need is out! We’re 20 minutes late!

But Lauren’s got this. Directs a WORKER to the lift’s next chair, as she rushes to help DR. CUMMINGS, 76, who—

Receded hair and overcoat. Circle Glasses. The beard. This could be Sigmund Freud, re-incarnate who—

Brushes Lauren off. Unsteady on the bus’ steps before he’s a rock star on solid ground. Even with huge grocery bags.

LAUREN

(Hovering, nonetheless)

Dr. Cummings! Can I help?

ED

No. Thank you. No.

A bag in each hand, Ed nods, polite to OTHER HELPFUL WORKERS as he sprightly rushes to the door of resting nirvana. Where he…

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – FOYER – SAME

…is thwarted by a foyer filled with evening wear and sparkling conversation. Residents and families. The sound-system strains of (maybe) “If I had a Hammer”.

As Ed squeezes by woman on a knee scooter—

ED

Excuse me. Pardon.

But now recognizing the woman—

ED

Mae! A step forward! Less pain?

WOMAN (MAE)

Better every day!

ED

(Genuine)

Oh, wonderful. Fantastic.

WOMAN

Are you—

But Mae’s good news has freed Ed to move on. He tries to squeeze past a large, LOUD GROUP.

ED

(Louder)

Pardon! Excuse me!

The group doesn’t hear. So shifting both bags to one hand—

Ed turns a thin profile between the group and a LONELY MAN in a walker. Whose sad eyes—Ed can’t help it. Pained, Ed—

Grabs the arm/attention of a man in the group. DON WATERS, 70’s, wheelchair—from previous.

Indicating the lonely man—

ED

Don. Say, did you know Mack has one of those headlamps you need…

Watching Don turn to the man, Ed backs into A FRAIL WOMAN

ED

Oh! pardon me. I’m so sorry!

As Ed steadies the woman, now it’s an easel he bumps. Its framed announcement: “The Kingston Trio! HERE 7 PM!” …

…topples. Ed barely catches it—as WADE AND JUDY CLEVELAND, 70’s, Judy in heels and pearls—

WADE JUDY

ED! Dr. Cummings!

Their faces, lit up like Ed was their kid. Ed kisses Judy’s cheek. Shakes Wade’s hand.

ED

Judy. Wade

JUDY

Oh, Doctor! Sit with us. Please?

Wade watches Ed replace the announcement. Sees the sadness on Ed’s face. The yearning glance at the STAGEHANDS on a portable stage in the dining room.

WADE

(To Ed)

Our local three-some, right here!

ED

(Wincing)

I’d really love to. But I’ve got to get back. It’s—. Well—

JUDY

(helpfully)

Your book! Of course. You’re such an important man! So much psychological wisdom to share with the world. Wade and I wouldn’t dream of keeping you—

Wade pulls a handful of whisky samplers from a pocket—

WADE

But Henry McKenna would. Come on, Ed, just once? Some liquid fun?

Ed’s discomfort growing. And—as we hear SOUND-CHECKS riffs, Ed’s second heart-pluck glance at the dining room-turned concert arena. Something, here, deeply calls.

ED

My loss. Truly. But Wade, I want you to enjoy your beautiful bride.

Judy and Wayne clasp hands like teens. A half-century of affection as—

Ed’s face: now a shadow of loss layering—almost too much.

WADE

(Distracting)

Say—you have a publisher? I got a friend—

Ed’s impatience leaks—not quite as polite.

ED

Yes. Thank you. G’night.

His next turn is decisive. Only, literally in Ed’s face—

PAT

Dr. Eeeee! Paar-tyy!

PAT LOWE, 79, weathered, hippy motorcycle chick, is as incongruous, here, as fireworks at a funeral. And there’s obviously history between them. With everything Ed has—

ED

Pat. I know it’s not your choice in music. But I’m sure it’ll be good.

Ed steps to the side. Pat blocks. Another step that Pat blocks— palms on his chest. Ed goes rigid.

PAT

Don’t be a spaz, Ed. You really don’t want to miss this!

The WORK it takes to erect Ed’s Therapist Frame! We see.

ED

Yes, Pat. I do want to miss this.

(Draws her attention to—)

But you don’t want to miss…

…a TUX-CLAD WORKER with an appetizer tray.

Pat leaps at a crostini as Ed knew she would. As dining…

… doors open. People ahead of Pat! Pat grabs a handful of clams. Climbs over a wheelchair. Pushes to the front.

Ed’s years of practice—but still it astounds.

Ed turns again. This time into the open arms of LINDA, 82-delightfully demented.

LINDA

This music, Mr—! My life is complete! Dance with me?

But Linda’s suddenly concerned—

LINDA

Oh, dear. Mr.— I can’t remember—

Even more of Ed’s life’s work. Dementia, not the dancing. But the frame, here, is the Foxtrot, and—

Ed’s able lead (to, maybe, “Scotch and Soda.”) —

ED

(Soothing)

Dr. Cummings, Linda. I’m Dr. Cummings.

Linda finds herself again, for a moment, in Ed’s eyes, and her own body, beautiful movements long-etched in her soul.

And we know Ed will be here for as long as he’s needed. But we’re grateful when Lauren takes Linda’s arm and—

LAUREN

Mrs. Uptagraff. It’s showtime!

Lets Ed move again. Continue…

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – HALL – CONTINUOUS

…down a hall. A bit slower.

Nods at a few residents, one pushing a NUN, sitting on a bed with wheels. Everyone going the opposite direction from wherever Ed clearly feels very compelled to go.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Openings!

What i learned: Lord, do I need to keep listening to Hal’s advice to brainstorm! Not at all sure how to pick at this point, but some thoughts I never would have otherwise had…

Instant conflict/ Intriguing scene from another place in the movie: Open with the crisis/climax scene where Ed’s shitfaced drunk in an empty, unfurnished apartment, facing his internal demons in flashback form—another ratchet apartment 70 years ago: Ed’s drugged-out father and his father’s friends, a low-class Ghislaine Maxwell-Jeffrey Epstein/ more perverse Richie-Sydney (American Hustle) pair who sexually exploit a 10 year-old Ed, causing his life-long sexual (and other) “issues”. – OR –

Open with a fight between the other ensemble characters, Mike and Grace: Mike’s just lost a job because he can’t focus and overslept after some especially “heavy marijuana” – end with Grace just picking up the pieces for everyone rather than forcing him to get the help he needs.

Contrast Opening: Notting Hill-like series of shots: Ed with his compulsive neat-ness, to-the-second schedule (wake, continental breakfast, perfunctory nods to home-mates, bus, grave, warehouse, perfunctory nods, dinner in his room, bed like he expects it will be his coffin) meets Mike and Grace: utter chaos, how does this even work? Fight with a kiss to start the day, kids screaming, mess of a house, Chris from the basement looking like death itself, parasite-mother Linda doing her nails, Mike distractible at work, gets fired, smokes a joint as he walks home b/c his car has been booted, Grace a frazzled mess at the theater after he calls to tell her all this.

The Shocking Opening/Intriguing scene from another place in the movie: Ed in his car in the garage – a suicide attempt that gets thwarted when he’s car-jacked, dumped in a forested park.

The Setup/Twist Opening/Trick: Huge fight between Michael and Grace on the stage of Grace’s Teen Theater ends with a near-violent heated decision to break up — but then we see the audience (teen students) and this has been a demonstration of Method Acting, how to channel your own demons (ala Heath Ledger) — and we feel the remaining tension between Michael and Grace. What has this demo done to their relationship?

The VO that’s unusual: Ed dictating obsessional/dry, missing-the-important emotion, self-analysis psych notes for the book he’s trying to write, intercut with Grace’s—the diary of an empath, with a touch of histrionic/schizotypal, who’s impressionism is preventing/“defending her from making” logical decisions that just need to be made.

Unique Character: intro as it currently is: Ed as a dignified, empathic retired psychiatrist, stopping briefly to respond to several different emotional needs of his home-mate’s, but with a bee in his bonnet to get quickly back to his room. We think this is to work on his very important book, but find that actually he’s powerfully grief-stricken and engaging in a strange ritual. Each night he eats a lifesaver each before he get into bed in a “coffin pose” and hopes he’ll die naturally. When the last lifesaver is gone, if he’s still alive he’s going take all the tranquilizers at once

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s opening

What I learned: I intentionally picked a “quiet” opening, as a comp to my current project. For me at least, what makes this work are the idiosyncrasies and struggles of the characters and their challenged relationships, questions about what life means, the role of communicating/connecting, and “accomplishments” to prove value. And they’re about to be packed into a car together for the sake of the youngest, a classically “unattractive” girl who deeply yearns to win a beauty pageant.

ECU – VIDEO PIXELS

Five young women stand side by side, waiting to be judged, breathless, hopeful. A name is announced. Four hearts break.

The camera ZOOMS across the smiles of the losers to find a winner. She bursts into tears, hugs the nearest runner up.

Begin CREDITS.

MUSIC, quiet and melancholy, plays over all the opening scenes, leading to the Title card.

The Contest Winner cries and hugs the Runners-up as she has the tiara pinned on her head. Then, carrying her bouquet, she strolls down the runway, waving and blowing kisses.

INT. BASEMENT REC ROOM – DAY

A six-year-old girl sits watching the show intently.

This is OLIVE. She is big for her age and slightly plump.

She has frizzy hair and wears black-rimmed glasses. She studies the show very earnestly.

Then, using a remote, she FREEZES the image.

Absently, she holds up one hand and mimics the waving style of Miss America. She REWINDS the tape and starts all over.

Again, Miss America hears her name announced, and once again breaks down in tears, overwhelmed and triumphant.

RICHARD (V.O.)

There’s two kinds of people in this world — Winners — and Losers.

The Question: is this true? If so:

The Hook: how can this plump, frizzy-haired “4-eyed” 6 year old ever be a winner in this world?

Unique opening. And we’re rooting for her already

INT. CLASSROOM – DAY

RICHARD (45) stands at the front of a generic community college classroom, cinderblock walls, industrial carpeting.

He wears pleated khaki shorts, a golf shirt, sneakers. He moves with the stocky, stiff-legged gait of a former athlete. His peppy, upbeat demeanor just barely masks a seething sense of insecurity and frustration. MUSIC continues underneath.

RICHARD

If there’s one thing you take away from the nine weeks we’ve spent, it should be this: Winners and Losers. What’s the difference?

Richard turns with a remote and clicks through a Power Point presentation, projected on the wall behind him.

The slides mimic Darwin’s “Evolution of Man” chart, except that they show a lumpy, hunched-over, sad-sack “Loser” evolve into a smiling, triumphant, arms-over-his-head “Winner”.

RICHARD

Winners see their dreams come true. Winners see what they want, they go out and they get it. They don’t hesitate. They don’t make excuses. And they don’t give up. Losers don’ t get what they want. They hesitate. They make excuses. And they give up. On themselves and their dreams.

Richard puts down his remote for the big finale. In the dim half-light, it’s a hushed, dramatic moment.

RICHARD

Inside each of you — at the very core of your being — is a Winner waiting to be awakened — and unleashed upon the world. With my nine step “Unleash the Winner Inside” program, you now have the tools, the know-how, the insights you need to put your losing habits behind you and make your dreams come true. No hesitating! No excuses! I want you to go out into the world — and be Winners!

Big smile.

REVERSE ANGLE. There are twenty STUDENTS in a classroom that could seat two hundred. They CLAP half-heartedly.

Then there’s an awkward moment when everyone gathers their stuff. No one says anything. Chairs SCRAPE the floor.

SHERYL (V.O.)

— Yeah, I’m on my way now.

INT. CAR – DAY

A woman, SHERYL, 40s, is smoking and talking on a cell phone as she weaves through a strip-mall landscape. She wears office attire and a name tag that reads, “Sheryl”.

SHERYL

— I don’t know how long — I don’t know–! Richard, he doesn’t have anywhere else to go!

She takes a drag, listens with increasing irritation, then exhales. A beat.

SHERYL

I’m not smoking — I’m not! Look, I’m at the hospital —

beat

Yeah, I’ll pick up a bucket of chicken. Okay, bye.

She beeps off her phone.

EXT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR – DAY

Sheryl strides anxiously down a hospital corridor, fingering a small cross on her necklace, going from one room to another, checking room numbers. She finds the room she’s looking for.

As she tries to enter, a DOCTOR emerges. They nearly collide.

DOCTOR

Ms. Harvey?

Sheryl nods

Your brother’s fine —

Sheryl exhales, hugely relieved.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

In a wheelchair, parked against a wall, is Sheryl’s brother, FRANK, also middle-aged. His wrists are wrapped in bandages.

With empty eyes, he listens to the muted VOICE of the Doctor coming from the hallway.

DOCTOR (O.S.)

— Keep him away from sharp objects: knives, scissors — If you have medications — depressants — in your house, keep them secured.

INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR – DAY

Sheryl listens to the Doctor.

DOCTOR

I’d prefer to keep him, but —

SHERYL

I know, the insurance —

She shakes her head and sighs.

DOCTOR

You want to see him –?

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

Sheryl and the Doctor enter. Frank barely reacts.

SHERYL

Hey, Frank —

FRANK

Sheryl.

Fighting tears, she goes and hugs him.

SHERYL

I’m so glad you’re still here.

FRANK

Well. That’s one of us.

Twist: amidst the happy dreams of a young girl and desperate strivings of a slipping, middle-aged man is another who’s reached rock bottom—suicide risk after a suicide attempt.

INT. BATHROOM – DAY

Two hands spill a brown powder onto a small mirror.

A razor blade cuts the powder into lines.

A rolled-up dollar bill lowers. The lines are snorted.

The snorter lifts his head up. He is a short, chunky, balding old man, a Roz Chast kind of grandfather.

This is GRANDPA, 80 years old. Another twist…and an 80 year old who snorts cocaine. Or something

He sits down on the toilet seat, rubs his nose, takes a breath and relaxes as the drugs flood his system.

INT. DWAYNE’S BEDROOM – DAY

DWAYNE is a handsome, skinny fifteen year old with a mohawk. He lies on his back in his bedroom, bench-pressing a barbell.

The bedroom is dominated by a huge portrait of Friedrich Nietzsche, painted on a bed sheet, hanging on one wall.

JUMP CUTS:

Dwayne does vertical sit-ups on a wall-mounted brace.

Dwayne does vertical push-ups leaning against the wall.

Dwayne breathes heavily, having finished his work-out.

He walks to a home-made calender on the wall made from a long roll of computer paper. It is marked, “Enlistment.”

On the roll is a long grid of maybe a thousand squares. About half the squares have been filled in with magic marker.

Dwayne uncaps a magic marker and fills in one more square.

INT. CAR – DAY

Sheryl drives Frank home from the hospital. They say nothing. Sheryl sneaks glances at Frank. Hesitantly:

SHERYL

You want to talk? Or no?

Frank stares at the road in front of them. Finally:

FRANK

No.

SHERYL

Okay.

She nods. They keep driving.

FADE TO BLACK

TITLE:

“LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE”

MUSIC ENDS.

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

An empty kitchen. A phone and answering machine sit in the FOREGROUND. The message light is BLINKING.

In the background, through a doorway, the front door opens. Sheryl and Frank enter carrying several bags and suitcases.

SHERYL

calling out

Hello! Anyone–?!

INT. HALLWAY – DAY

She leads Frank down a hallway. He follows passively.

SHERYL

Down here. We have you with Dwayne.

She knocks and pushes open the door to Dwayne’s room. Dwayne is on the bed, reading THUS SPOKE ZARATHUSTRA. He sits up.

SHERYL

Dwayne? Hi, Uncle Frank’s here.

Frank hesitates. He gives Sheryl a look: “You’re kidding.”

SHERYL

He doesn’t mind, Frank. We talked.

Frank makes a half-gesture towards the rest of the house.

SHERYL

We can’t have you sleeping alone. The doctors said —

he looks at her

I’m sorry. I have to insist.

Dwayne gets up and exits the room, pushing past them and avoiding eye contact. Sheryl enters the bedroom.

INT. DWAYNE’S BEDROOM – DAY

Sheryl goes and brushes off a cot. Frank remains outside.

SHERYL

You’ll get along fine. He’s really quiet. Look, I set up a cot.

he hesitates

Please, Frank? Please?

Very unhappily, Frank enters the room and just stands there.

SHERYL

Thank you. I gotta start dinner. Come out when you’re settled? And leave the door open. That’s important.

beat

I’m glad you’re here.

She gives him a kiss on the cheek, then departs.

Frank sits on the cot in his nephew’s bedroom. On it is a Muppet sleeping bag with the Cookie Monster eating a cookie.

Frank glances at the sleeping bag, then averts his eyes.

This is pretty much the worst moment of his life.

INT. DINING ROOM – DAY

Dwayne is at the dinner table, reading. Sheryl walks by.

SHERYL

Dwayne, honey, there’s a bucket of chicken in the car. Can you get it and I’11 make a salad?

Dwayne silently gets up and departs, and the chaotic ballet of dinner preparations in the Harvey household begins. Sheryl opens the door to the downstairs rec room and shouts.

SHERYL

Olive?’

OLIVE (O.S.)

Yeah?’

SHERYL

Is Grandpa with you? !

OLIVE (O.S.)

Yeah!

SHERYL

What are you guys doing?

OLIVE (O.S.)

Rehearsing!

SHERYL

Okay! Dinner in ten minutes!

OLIVE (O.S.)

Okay!

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Sheryl enters, opens the refrigerator, and begins pulling out stuff to make a salad.

Abruptly, from the kitchen side door, Richard enters.

RICHARD

Hi.

SHERYL

Hi. Frank’s here.

RICHARD

Oh. Did Stan Grossman

SHERYL

Check the machine.

He walks over and hits the answering machine.

MACHINE

Hello. You have one message.

It rewinds. Dwayne enters holding a bucket of KFC.

SHERYL

Just put it on the table, hon. And can you set the table? We’ll do paper plates tonight. I’ll get cups and napkins.

Dwayne nods and departs. Sheryl exits in the other direction. The phone message begins.

JEFF (О.С.)

filtered

Sheryl, hey, it’s Jeff. Listen, great news. You know, when Olive was down here last month, she was runner up in the regional Little Miss Sunshine–?

RICHARD

calling to Sheryl

It’s from Jeff.

to himself

Fuck!

He stalks off. The MESSAGE plays to the empty kitchen.

JEFF (O.C.)

filtered

— Well, they just called me and said that the girl who won had to forfeit her crown. I don’t know why something about diet pills — but anyway, that means Olive won the regionals, so now she has a place in the State contest in Boca. They want to make sure she can make it, so I said you’d call them —

Sheryl re-enters. She tries to listen to Jeff’s message.

JEFF (O.C.)

filtered

— The woman’s name is Lauren Henderson and her number —

BEEEEP. The machine cuts him off. Sheryl, not understanding, shakes her head and returns to making her salad. Richard re­ enters, picks up the phone and dials. Over the following, Dwayne comes in and out, picking up stuff to set the table.

RICHARD

into phone

Richard Harvey for Stan Grossman. Can you reach him–?! Yeah, tell him I want to know this thing is done — I’m waiting for the numbers. No, I understand that. I understand. Look, he has my cell, if he could just call me anytime over the weekend and let me know we’re on, I’d be very, very grateful. Okay. Thank you. Bye.

He hangs up.

RICHARD

Bitch.

SHERYL

Richard–! So what happened with Stan Grossman?

RICHARD

He’s still in Atlanta.

SHERYL

So why hasn’t he called you?

RICHARD

Will you let me worry about this?!

Sheryl exhales, goes back to her salad. Dwayne comes in.

SHERYL

Dwayne, can you check on Frank? Tell him it’s dinner time.

Dwayne nods and heads off. Sheryl walks back to the door to the downstairs rec room and opens it again.

SHERYL

Olive?! Dinner time!

OLIVE (O.S.)

Okay!

INT. DWAYNE’S BEDROOM – DAY

Frank sits on the cot, staring at a photo in his wallet (we can’t see it). FOOTSTEPS approach. Frank puts the photo away.

Dwayne appears in the door, knocks, and mimes eating.

FRANK

Dinner?

Dwayne nods

What? You don’t talk anymore?

Dwayne shakes his head

Why not?

Dwayne rolls his eyes and half-shrugs.

FRANK

You can talk. You just choose not to?

Dwayne nods. Then he points to the bed-sheet painting of Nietzsche hanging on his wall. Frank turns and looks.

FRANK

Is that Nietzsche? You don’t speak because of Friedrich Nietzsche?

Dwayne nods, turns and leaves. Frank considers this.

FRANK

Far out.

The kid doesn’t talk! The uncle digs this

INT. DINING ROOM – DAY

Dwayne sits in his chair, folds his arms, and scowling, waits for everyone else to arrive. Frank tentatively follows. Sheryl comes out and puts her salad on the table.

SHERYL

Frank, you can sit here, next to Dwayne. Here’s the salad. I’m gonna run get Sprite for everyone.

She walks off, pausing to open the rec room door again.

SHERYL

Olive! Come on! Dinner time!

OLIVE (O.S.)

Coming!!!

Sheryl disappears, leaving Dwayne and Frank alone. Frank sits. Dwayne scowls at the table in front of him.

Frank looks at his place setting, a paper plate and a Big Gulp cup with the Incredible Hulk on it. He picks up the cup and examines it dispassionately. He puts it down.

Dwayne doesn’t move. Frank glances at Dwayne, not knowing what to do. He seems to have met someone who is at least as unhappy as he is.

This intrigues him. He ventures:

FRANK

Got a girlfriend?

Dwayne looks at Frank, then shakes his head.

FRANK

Boyfriend?

Dwayne gives Frank a look.

FRANK

Kidding. Kidding. I know.

beat

So who do you hang out with? Dwayne shakes his head.

FRANK

No one? There must be someone –!

Dwayne shakes his head

You don’t hang out with anyone? Oh come on. You must have one friend!

Dwayne reaches in his back pocket and pulls out a palm-sized pad of paper. He flips it open and scribbles a note.

He shows it to Frank. It reads:

”I hate everyone.”

FRANK

Everyone? What about your family?

Dwayne scribbles again. He shows it to Frank. It now reads:

“I HATEEVERYONE!!I”

He’s underlined “everyone” three times.

Frank looks at him.

FRANK

You hate me?

Dwayne considers this. He scribbles a new note. It reads:

“Not yet.”

FRANK

Fair enough.

They go back to sitting in silence. Richard comes out.

RICHARD

Frank. Good to see you.

FRANK

Richard —

They shake. Richard sits down. Silence. Richard stands up.

RICHARD

I’m gonna get Olive.

He walks to the downstairs doorway and shouts.

RICHARD

Dad! Olive! Come on!

OLIVE (O.S.)

shrieking

We’re coming!!!

Sheryl enters with a big bottle of Diet Sprite.

SHERYL

You guys, go on and start. Frank, some Sprite? I want everyone to have at least a little salad.

FRANK

Thanks, Sheryl.

She pours him a cup, sits down, and starts opening containers of cole slaw and mashed potatoes.

Richard returns to the table, sits, and grabs a piece of chicken from the bucket. Dwayne follows suit, as does Frank.

The meal begins. Three seconds of silence.

FRANK

So, Sheryl — I couldn’t help notice Dwayne has stopped speaking.

SHERYL

Oh! I’m sorry. Dwayne’s taken a vow of silence.

FRANK

You’ve taken a vow of silence?’

Dwayne nods.

SHERYL

He’s gonna join the Naval Academy and become a fighter pilot. He’s taken a vow of silence until he reaches that goal.

FRANK

to Dwayne

You’re kidding–!

Dwayne stares at Frank. He’s not kidding. Olive enters the dining room, with Grandpa following.

OLIVE

Hi, Uncle Frank!

FRANK

Olive. Boy, you’re gettin’ big!

to Sheryl

Is she big for her age?

Sheryl nods. Olive, unprompted, walks over and gives him a kiss on the cheek. She sees the bandages on Frank’s wrists.

OLIVE

What happened to your arms?

SHERYL

Olive —

FRANK

No, it’s okay. I had a little accident. I’m okay now.

RICHARD

How’s the new routine coming?

OLIVE

It’s good.

RICHARD

When’re you gonna let us see it?

OLIVE

I dunno. It’s up to Grandpa.

GRANDPA

A couple of days. It needs a polish.

Olive sits. Grandpa walks to the table.

GRANDPA

What is this?! Chicken?! Every day it’s the chicken! Holy God almighty! Is it possible, just one time, we could have something for dinner except the goddamn fucking chicken?!

Sheryl ignores him. Richard tries to cut him off.

RICHARD

Dad — Dad — Dad — Dad!!!

GRANDPA

I’m just saying–!

RICHARD

If you want to cook or buy your own food, you’re more than welcome —

GRANDPA

Christ. Y’know, at Sunset Village —

RICHARD

If you liked Sunset Village so much maybe you shouldn’t have gotten yourself kicked out of there–!

GRANDPA

waves dismissively

Ahhhh–!

He takes out a piece of chicken and starts eating. A tense silence. Frank tries to get things going again.

FRANK

When did you start? With the vow?

Dwayne shrugs. He doesn’t care to comment,

RICHARD

It’s been nine months. He hasn’t said a word. I think it shows tremendous discipline.

SHERYL

Richard —

RICHARD

I’m serious! I think we could all learn something from what Dwayne’s doing! Dwayne has a goal. He has a dream. It may not be my dream, or your dream, but still — He’s pursuing that dream with focus and discipline. In fact, I was thinking about the Nine Steps —

GRANDPA•

Oh, for crying out loud –!

RICHARD

evenly

— About the Nine Steps, and how Dwayne’s utilizing at least seven of them in his journey to personal fulfillment.

SHERYL

Richard. Please.

RICHARD

I’m just saying! I’ve come around! I think Dwayne deserves our support.

Frank looks at Dwayne. Dwayne rolls his eyes. Olive addresses Frank.

OLIVE

How did it happen?

FRANK.

How did what happen?

OLIVE

Your accident —

SHERYL

Honey —

She shakes her head: “Don’t go there.”

FRANK

No, it’s okay. Unless you object —

SHERYL

No, I’m pro-honesty here. I just think, you know — It’s up to you.

FRANK

Be my guest —

SHERYL

Olive, Uncle Frank didn’t really have an accident. What happened was: he tried to kill himself.

OLIVE

You did? Why?

RICHARD

I don’t think this is an appropriate conversation.

to Olive

Let’s leave Uncle Frank alone.

A beat. Olive has stopped eating.

OLIVE

Why did you want to kill yourself?

RICHARD

Frank. Don’t answer that question.

Frank stares at Richard. He turns back to Olive.

FRANK

I tried to kill myself because I was very unhappy.

RICHARD

overlapping

Don’t listen, honey, he’s sick and he doesn’t know what he’s —

SHERYL

Richard — Richard — Richard —

RICHARD

What?! I don’t think it’s appropriate for a six year old!

SHERYL

She’s gonna find out anyway. Go on, Frank.

OLIVE

Why were you unhappy?

Frank glances at Richard, deadpan victorious and continues.

FRANK

Well, there were a lot of reasons. Mainly, though, I fell in love with someone who didn’t love me back.

OLIVE

Who?

FRANK

One of my grad students. I was very much in love with him.

OLIVE

Him? It was a boy? You fell in love with a boy?

FRANK

Yes. I did. Very much so.

This is new to Olive. She thinks it over.

OLIVE

That’s silly.

FRANK

You’re right. It was very, very silly.

GRANDPA

There’s another word for it —

RICHARD

Dad —

OLIVE

So — That’s when you tried to kill yourself– ?

FRANK

Well, no. What happened was: the boy I was in love with fell in love with another man, Larry Sugarman.

SHERYL

Who’s Larry Sugarman?

FRANK

Larry Sugarman is perhaps the second most highly regarded Proust scholar in the U.S.

RICHARD

Who’s number one?

FRANK

That would be me, Rich.

OLIVE

So — That’s when you tried,–?

FRANK

Well, no. What happened was: I was a bit upset. I did some things I shouldn’t have done. Subsequently, I was fired, forced to leave my apartment and move into a motel.

OLIVE

Oh. So that’s when–?

FRANK

hesitates

Well, no. Actually, all that was okay. What happened was: two days ago the MacArthur Foundation decided to award a “genius” grant to Larry Sugarman.

deep breath

And that’s when —

GRANDPA

— You tried to check out early.

FRANK

Yes. And I failed at that as well.

RICHARD

Olive, what’s important to understand is that Uncle Frank gave up on himself. He made a series of foolish choices, and then he gave up on himself, which is something that winners never do.

A beat. Frank looks like he could, leap across the table and strangle Richard. Sheryl intervenes.

SHERYL

So that’s the story, okay? Let’s move on. Olive, how’s your new routine coming?

OLIVE

Fine. I told you.

Over the above, Frank turns and asks, regarding Richard:

FRANK

Is he always like this?

Dwayne nods

How can you stand it?

Dwayne writes a note, shows it to Frank. It reads:

“I can’t.”

Frank nods. Richard addresses Olive.

RICHARD

Honey, tell Frank why you’re doing your dance routine.

FRANK

Olive. Why are you doing a dance routine?

OLIVE

For Little Miss Crab-Cakes.

FRANK

arch

A-ha! Just as I suspected–!

SHERYL

Honey, tell him what Little Miss Crab-Cakes is.

OLIVE

Little Miss Crab-Cakes is a beauty contest for everyone in Maryland. But you have to be six or seven years old and you have to be a girl.

Frank looks skeptically at Sheryl.

SHERYL

Don’t look at me! This is Jeff and the new step-Mom. It’s big down in Florida.

FRANK

to Olive

So what do you think your chances are?

Olive takes the question like a pro.

OLIVE

I think I can win. ‘Cause a lot of the new girls — they don’t have the experience.

FRANK

Well, good luck.

RICHARD

It’s not about luck. Luck is the name that losers give to their own failings. It’s about wanting to win. Willing yourself to win. You got to want it badder than anyone.

OLIVE

I do!

RICHARD

Do you? Really?

a beat; she nods

Then you’re gonna be a winner!

She smiles. Dwayne shakes his head and keeps eating.

SHERYL

Richard —

RICHARD

What?’ It’s true!

OLIVE

I was runner up in Florida!

FRANK

When were you in Florida?

SHERYL

Spring break. Jeff had custody for two weeks. Olive made it to the top of the Regionals down there.

OLIVE

I was second place.

RICHARD

Sher, у’know, there’s a message from Jeff on the machine.

SHERYL

Yeah. Did you hear what it was?

RICHARD

Actually, it was something about Little Miss Sunshine.

OLIVE

What? Little Miss Sunshine? What?!

She runs off. Sheryl follows Olive into the kitchen.

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Sheryl and Olive approach the answering machine. The “message” light is blinking. Sheryl hits it.

JEFF (O.C.)

filtered

Sheryl, hey, it’s Jeff–!

INT. DINING ROOM – DAY

Richard, Frank, and Dwayne try to listen, eating silently.

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Olive and Sheryl listen.

JEFF (O.C.)

filtered

— Something about diet pills, but anyway that means that Olive won the regionals, so now she has a place in the State contest in Boca —

BEEEP. Over the above, Olive reacts with involuntary spasms of shock, disbelief, and then pure, unadulterated euphoria.

She waits, trembling, to hear the whole message. When it ends, she puts her hands to her temples:

OLIVE

Aaahhhhhhh! ! ! Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! ! ! Little Miss Sunshine! Little Miss Sunshine! Little Miss Sunshine!!!

She goes running out into the dining room.

OLIVE (O.S.)

Little Miss Sunshine! Little Miss Sunshine! Little Miss Sunshine!!!

Sheryl closes her eyes.

SHERYL

Fuck–!

Sheryl picks up the cordless phone, dials.

INT. DINING ROOM – DAY

Sheryl re-enters with the phone. Olive is rejoicing.

OLIVE

I won! I won! I get to go to the Championship! Oh, God! Oh, my God!

beat

I gotta pack! I gotta go pack!

She rushes off to the downstairs doorway and disappears.

RICHARD

Wait, Olive, finish your dinner!

OLIVE (O.S.)

I’m finished!

GRANDPA

What happened?

SHERYL

Apparently, the girl who won Regionals was disqualified. So Olive has her place in the Finals.

RICHARD

When are they?

SHERYL

I’m calling Jeff right — Jeff! Yeah, we just got it — Yeah, she basically went crazy. No, I didn’t get that, the machine cut you off.

She grabs Dwayne’s pen and pad. She scribbles.

SHERYL

Uh-huh. In Boca Raton. This Sunday?! Can you take her? You can’t put it off? No, it’s just — We have to figure this out. No, I’ll give this lady a call and we’ll figure it out. Right. Bye.

She hangs up.

RICHARD

It’s Sunday? Can Jeff and Cindy take her?

SHERYL

shakes her head

They’re going to Maui.

They all look at each other.

The Call: Olive has a chance to be in the finals of a beauty pageant—and this story is about family communicating/connecting/helping each other and what it means to be a winner or a loser.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Powerful Setups

What I learned: this, here, is more of a brain-dump, than Hal’s nice, organized specifics—because I have so many scenes left to write. But oh, won’t this help! I’m going to print these pages to look at as I work on scenes I can now actually envision. Thanks again, Hal.

Build up their reputation:

Protagonists’ reputations:

Ed worked extremely well in the past—but he isn’t able to write his book now. And he hasn’t been able to play in years. He loves people—but only from a distance (subtext: he’s got serious issues with sexuality)

– First description – Walt: “You’re famous! We knew your name before we knew you. How many psychiatrists do ordinary people read about in the Times?

-Judy: The way you organize and connect people from so many disciplines to solve big problems. Have you ever thought of politics?

-Don: Transforming corporate culture. Building that homeless solution that actually works-with homeless people working! Is there any problem you can’t solve? But you know, the one thing I didn’t know about you was that you were married. You sure managed to keep your private life private.

-Judy: you care so much. Wade: cares about a whole city at once. Tell us more about Susan. She was so lucky to have you all these years.
– Ed talks with Don about being stuck trying to write his book for future psychiatrists who want to be leaders, promoting healthy work relationships. He’s got writer’s block for some reason.

-With Don: How about travel to get the creative juices flowing. Where you been? Vancouver Canada, that’s it? Did you ever take a day off, to like, go to a local park?

-with all the boys (re: sex jokes) we’re just joshing. Can’t you have a little fun?

– Pat’s variety of names for Ed’s stodginess.

-day after day, no progress on his book

Grace can play! And (over) Work, and Love others—but not herself

-Her boss tells her the kids absolutely love her and she’s the most dynamic, creative creative director she’s ever known…but if their financial situation doesn’t improve she’ll still have to let her go.

-Jewels and Ed tell her she’ll burn herself out with over-working

We see Love in everything she does/says—for everyone but notably not herself. Dialogue and action are also full of play.

Mike can play! And love. Has serious trouble working due to ADHD/marijuana dependence

-Dude you ever considered being a professional gamer?

-You never show up late to a video game. Don’t get distracted, either. Total focus!

You could design games?

-Jewels to Grace: I’ve never seen a man more in love. Consistently over 11-fricken’ years! Take it from someone who marries people for a living. It doesn’t get any better than this.

-We see Love in everything Mike does/says. Dialogue and action are also full of play, impulsivity, creativity

Antagonist Reputation: Psychological defenses are protective but also can be very dangerous/costly

-Repression/suppression/denial might lead to…violence. Neglect. Great tragedy in numerous ways. First seen in dialogue between Ed and Judy/Wade. Then thread throughout, foreshadowing Ed’s specific repressed/denied trauma he’s kept ‘in a box’ – and his alcohol-fueled tailspin when the box gets opened.

-Thread through visuals, background audio/news etc., symbols that point to/object correlate the danger of each of the different human defense mechanisms. Especially RAGE (the “I don’t want to feel humiliation etc. internal voice” – that can quickly shut down growth. But also, in select instances empower it.

-Pat: Obsessiveness makes you a bore

-Ed can’t stop and smell the flowers, can’t enjoy male banter. Is increasingly socially isolative, literally sleeping in his car at one point.

-Ed is passively, then more actively suicidal, because he’s not dealing in a healthy way with is issues.

-Mike’s joint is laced with a hallucinogen – and he encourages his son to paint with his poop.

-The musicians at the wedding get stoned.

-Ed spirals with alcohol

-Grace gets so tired she forgets to bring Kristian in from his carseat in the garage. Nearly falls asleep at the wheel. Other…?

-Chris is literally hiding out from life in the basement in a passive-aggressive battle with his mother. Ed points out: cutting off his nose to spite his face. You want to end up like me?

-Linda’s narcissism is destructive to kids and—ultimately leaves her all alone.

Justification for the final actions

Ed’s angry demand: “Look up. Just look up, dammit!” Justified by, “Do you want to be at the end of your life, alone and suicidal like me? This is what happens when you try to control everything and everyone around you and never take a leap of faith.” Also justified by his multiple prior attempts to help Grace without feeling and expressing the helpless, guilty, and angry feelings he has.

Cast doubt on the success of the final actions

· Mike gives money to his dealer. Grace assumes he’s relapsed. Thanks to Ed’s influence, she’s now determined not to marry an addict.

· Mike’s dealer sees Ed at the park. Tells the family, “this is a seriously fucked up dude. Take it from an expert: 30 days detox to turn someone that age around— if you’re lucky. The wedding is in a week.

· Ed really does seem to be in a drunken tailspin. We’re worried about the extent of his alcohol use, his social isolation, he appears to be suicidal and we seen in flashback what he’d repressed and denied. How can he overcome?

Discuss the final actions openly

· Mike tells Jewels, “we need to plan this very carefully so nothing happens that Grace could interpret as a sign. Discuss all the things that will later go wrong. The flowers have to be perfect. No yellow.etc. Anything Adam would make (cake) would be beautiful to Grace. So long as it doesn’t look like poop.

· Mike says, “last time she went entirely missing before one of our weddings she showed up a week later—to tell me she was pregnant with Adam-Eve.

Twists that take it away

· Mark dies, triggering…

· Ed to run away to a hotel to drink. Then rent an apartment, more interested in how sealed the garage is.

· Flash back All is Lost while Ed’s on a binge: Ed’s heinous early childhood, Father’s drug abuse, (pimping of Ed/pornography?)—the full scene of the rock music. The heart attack. His mother on the phone describing ‘all the crap’ in the drug tox report. Ed’s dealer/band member telling him to toss the weed he just gave him—it’s laced with something really bad. Ed’s dad taking Ed’s weed—and smoking it, right before the music scene. How do you overcome that?

Alternate Hope/Fear

Ed – TP 2 –

Fear: Ed flees the hospital

Hope: Don invites him to talk about it, seems almost about to. “I’d forgotten. I’d totally forgot.”

Fear: Leaves Don.

Hope: Others Gardens people try to talk to him. So many good people in his life…

Fear: flees to his car. Buys whiskey. Goes to a motel

Hope: Wakes up hung over. Tells waitress this isn’t the way to live a good life

Fear: Instead of going home he looks at an apt. Much more interested in the garage

Hope: See him in the house on a bean bag

Fear: With many bottles of whiskey, most of them empty

Hope: tells himself in the mirror: this is no way to live

Fear: goes to the garage, into his car.

Hope: eyes open. He wakes up on the floor next to the beanbag – still alive.

Fear: he tries to drink out of empty bottles.

Hope: Jewels finds him at Susan’s grave. Says she’s been coming every day at this time for a month because Pat says this is when he comes.

Fear: Jewels says, “you look like hell.” Ed says, “this is hell.”

Hope: Ed tells Jewels everything

Grace – TP 2

Fear: her dad has just died. Ed has taken off. Mike’s asked if Mark’s death may have had anything to do with the amphetamines he helped him get, so Grace is pissed at Mike.

Hope: Dad’s left Grace a letter – telling her to do what he never did: get married.

Fear: Mike’s dealer shows up. Is Mike using again? Grace follows them

Hope: They’re at a Meeting!

Fear: a stash of money Mike had is missing

Hope: Mike Re-Proposes at a lovely dinner with a RING he’s been saving for. And all the other savings are now in a bank account.

Fear: Linda sabotages in some way

Hope: Mike and Grace work together with Jewels to plan a lovely wedding.

Fear: Dealer shows up and Mike seems too interested in talking to him. Pays him!

Hope: Grace kicks the dealer out. “If you ever come back I’m calling the cops.”

Fear: on his way out, dealer tells them what he’s discovered about Ed as Mike’s Private Investigator (the $$ was for this): he’s a drunk. “Take it from an expert, that old dude will need 30 day detox. Your wedding is in a week.”

Hope: Mike and Grace take action needed for the wedding

Fear: at the wedding we realize Mike forgot to order flowers. Also the cake is a mess. Also, a pipe breaks, flooding the kitchen, reception area, moves into the church. Grace decides it’s the clearest sign she’s ever received and disappears as…

Hope: Ed shows up. Says he knows where to find her – and does. In the park

Fear: the conversation isn’t going well.

Hope: Ed’s anger shakes Grace into hearing what she needs to…seeing all the people waiting to be in her life on the hill above the park

Fear: back at the church the musicians are stoned

Hope: Pat says Ed knows perfectly well what to do. What does she mean? Ed makes a call on his cell phone. Old ‘60’s rockers show up with a guitar for Ed and we have: wedding music.

Create and pay off emotional setups (negative; impact; overcomes; is recognized):

Adam – gets mocked for sewing by the neighbor kids who—want to help Adam-Eve get Grace’s dress fixed back up for the wedding after the park. (Impact/overcomes: rejected by friends, but has time to sew beautiful wedding clothes).

Ed – 1. clearly sad when looking at pictures of Susan/takes them out when the fire alarm sounds. Develops intellectually satisfying reln with Jewels with a hint of romance. Get’s winked at by the guys when he’s with Jewels at the wedding. 2. Tells Don he had a step father who helped him focus on school – but doesn’t seem to be much love there. Step Fa and mother moved to Greece when he started college and died there – never saw either again. See the pain in Ed’s face when Don is potently empathetic. Finds and increasingly connects with a new family. Gets invited to be in the family wedding pictures. 3. Hides the music he’s playing. Looks longing at musicians who come to play at the Gardens. Plays at the wedding—everyone sings and dances to his music. 4. Embarrassed by all male-sex banter. Playing poker in a scene reminiscent of the call in “40-year old Virgin” he’s told like Andy—and he clearly relates. Turned on by Jewel’s red panties at the park. Gets winks from the guys at the wedding. 5. First Park scene: reveal: he hasn’t been to a park in years. Never been to Disney Land. Never traveled, actually, anywhere. In the next scene: bucket list discussion, Walt makes one for him. We know what’s not on it but needs to be —and in the closing montage we see him enjoying all he’s missed. 6. Says it’s really satisfying to see a patient get better but seems to have nothing to say when asked about his personal growth. Which seems to bother him. See him do the psychological work with Jewels (and Susan, at her grave). See Jewels acknowledge this work—and the payoffs it has for him being able to help Grace, grown his relationship with Jewels, and stay in the family.

Grace – 1. A sweet, overworked, exhausted, nervous/emotional wreck in opening scenes, who is desperate and grateful for Ed’s help—and possible family connection. Gets increasingly more help from Mike as he gets clean and ADHD treatment, from Chris as he stands up to their mother for the both of them, from people at the theater when she takes time off. Comments at the wedding: everyone’s noticed her growth. 2. Clearly in love with Mike on the bus but can’t get married for entirely unclear reasons. Makes gradual progress understanding these reasons with Ed, a big help from her father’s letter, and a culmination when Ed (having been stern with himself about the same issues ) is able to be stern with her, which catapults her over the ledge (the paternal influence she’s lacked). She says “I do” and the whole church cheers, then dances as Ed’s band plays something raucous but terribly fun.

Christopher – it’s just pathetic how this attractive, computer whiz lives and barely works in his mother’s basement. When Ed helps him see how desperate his sister is, and how Chris makes it worse he feels horrible—and steps up to help. The real estate agent congratulates him on finally growing up (as do Jewels, Ed…)and he now has a place he’s not embarrassed to invite Lauren back to.

Michael – fired by a boss who really wanted and tried to make it work. Same as last time. He’s devastated—and worried b/c of the theater’s problems. Gets high to cope but the joint is laced and makes a disgusting mess with his kid which leaves Grace disgusted and Mike feeling like a bottom crawler. With the help of Ed he learns it’s not his fault—but it is his responsibility. Meds, then, finally Meetings – he gets re-hired and he’s a Rock Star (affirmed by various). Able to actually buy Grace a ring—and her eyes say it all.

Linda – feels the loss when the kids move out. Meets with Sister Mary. A hint there may be a little progress.

Suspense around the outcome (Ed coming to the wedding, Ed and Grace doing their psychological work—and Mike staying clean):

· Ed’s consistently reluctant to go to the wedding (because it makes him face what he’s missed in life). Then after Mark’s MI he bolts. When he apologizes to Grace, blurts out that he and Susan never married, only “hooked up three times,” Grace feel lied to/betrayed. Ed tries to re-connect by reaching out to Jewels, but it’s clear he isn’t ready to change. He does later to explain to Grace, “It was a trigger” and promise to come to the wedding. But then Mark’s death circumstances (drugs/loud video game) REALLY trigger—make Ed aware of things he’s actually repressed/denied (including his sense that his legitimate anger at his dad killed the man).

· Grace says she really wished Ed would come. Jewels answers, “Honey, he’s got a long road to travel.” Ed, drunk out of his mind for days on end, clearly does.

· At the wedding: no flowers, cake…looks like shit, pipe breaks. Grace goes missing

· Ed’s growing awareness he could be Mark’s father: ‘heavy petting’ discussion with Don (the only one ever in Ed’s apartment to see the ‘young Susan’ picture)— frankly the man looks more like you than he looks like her. Ed gets, then tosses a paternity test. Interpreting the engraving in the box. “You have to have been there.”

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Rules!

What I learned: super helpful high-level re-think/focus exercise. Made me reconsider—and newly consider—many things.

Don’t go On-The-Nose

A change in ending from day 8 helps with this and I’ll watch closely for this problem as I write the new scenes/make changes demanded by this new ending (should I keep it).

Quintessential location for the conflict (humans versus their protective psychic defenses—when they limit creative/playful/expansive growth): a playground and a church, as Ed, with his analytic bent and repressed trauma has trouble looking out and up for a greater sense of interconnectedness, joy/play—and meaning. Freud was highly influenced by Darwin and the anti-metaphysical thinking that directed the sciences (medicine and physics, perhaps most especially) during his time. While I’m not aiming for a science versus religion piece, I am going after a particular historical reality. Freud, for all his transformative and helpful insights (as well as those that now seem decidedly wrong and/or incomplete), lived a fairly competitive/argumentative and isolative/“other-distancing” life—and described himself as chronically pretty miserable. He was deeply committed to being a “non-believer” and this may have contributed to an over-focus on primal instincts, with their evolutionary advantages, as explanatory for, pretty much everything. Even as he sought to understand “civilizations,” he found many ascetic experiences downright aversive and seemed to have trouble imagining (and enjoying) some of the greatest achievements and experiences of the Collective—be they emergent properties of “purely natural phenomena” or metaphysical. Or both.

Other possible locations include: a Darwin-like vessel; Natural History museum, the Freud museum, a classroom, a psychoanalytic office/couch, a wilderness setting. But none of these fit the current story as a whole (with ensemble characters working out other psychological symptoms and with other psychological defenses—and, in particular, the issue of “connecting/committing/joining” with another and others).

Three things to be guessing about until the end: Will Ed and Jewels get together? How much will Ed loosen up, if at all (and what was he doing at the warehouse in Act I), will Grace and Mike every say “I do.” Why is Ed so unwilling to let himself ‘play’ and connect? Is there something in his past he’s forgotten (repressed/denied)?

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Amazing Final Lines

What I learned…to use Hal’s lessons to keep re-imagining. All sorts of ideas for twists and additional depth will pop up.

INT. ED’S APARTMENT – MORNING

Ed in bed. Same coffin-pose as opening scene. Eyes gently open—oh to be alive! As Pat’s signature pound on his door—

Ed frowns. Something isn’t right.

PAT

(Hollers O.S.)

Ed. Get up!

Ed looks around. His room: like it was in the first scene!

Ed leaps up. Scans, increasingly desperate. No garish clock. No statue of Venus. Ed—

Races to his kitchen: no flowers, favors. No cake!

Ed’s face—crushed. It was all just a dream!

PAT

(O.S. As Ed’s eyes close)

Didn’t they teach you in Shrink School how to live a good life?

A long moment. Hard—as in difficult—but also solidifying. Ed presses palms into his eyes. Until—

The slow, ironic smile of a man who’s fully faced himself.

ED

(Loud so she can hear)

No, Pat they didn’t. But all of us were already born knowing.

Ed yanks a jogging suit from his entry closet. Ignores it’s hanger and also a coat which falls to the ground.

ED

But somehow I forgot.

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – SERIES OF SHOTS

-Ed smiles, jokes with Don as he passes him in the hall.

-Smiles, laughs with other residents as he grabs a bagel from the buffet.

—Smiles. Stops—some interest in one of the Eligible Women as he heads out to—

-Stops and smell the garden flowers. Plucks one. Pokes it in his jacket zip before he—

-Jogs. A little jig, matches the 70’s music from his Walkman.

-Catches up to, jogs with Lauren a bit before he—

-Stops to buy—and eat donut. As he

-Uses his cell phone to call one of his bandmates

EXT. SEATTLE – DONUT SHOP – DAY

ED

Let’s do a show!

(Grins as he listens)

No. Time to play, man!

Ed downloads the Uber app on his phone. Orders a ride.

INT. UBER CAR – CONTINUOUS

Goes to—

EXT/INT – FLORIST SHOP – CONTINUOUS

Ed buys two enormous potted flower arrangements. Exits.

Opens the Uber app, as—

Pat pulls up on her motorcycle. Ed with flowers, gets on.

EXT. CEMETERY – JIMI’S GRAVE – DAY

Ed and Pat leave flowers on Jimi’s grave. Then Susan’s. Potted, to last weeks between visits.

EXT. MUSIC PRACTICE ROOMS – CONTINUOUS

Ed gets off Pat’s bike. Enters his room.

Moments later, The Band exits with instruments and chairs.

Crosses the street to a park where they –

Begin to play. A crowd gathering—

EXT. BUS STOP – CONTINUOUS

Ed boards a bus—full of school kids, playing in all the ways kids do, in their seats.

Freezes in the aisle as he recognizes: the hair, face. Even the coat of the young woman (circa 1945) on his alter. Grace from his dream!

Beside her is—Jewels. Ed and Jewels’ eyes lock. From the Collective Unconscious, something transcendental.

…And massive sexual attraction.

THE END

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Kick-ass endings

What I learned: again, Hal’s brainstorming tools create new ideas, some of which may be helpful in wildly unexpected ways.

The Ultimate Confrontation: because of the words in the box, Ed confronts not only what he’s suppressed (his dad died of a heart attack after coming back into his life after several years, when Ed excitedly played rock music for him) but also what’s he’s repressed and DENIED because it truly is an overwhelming threat to Ed’s Ego (selfhood). This might include: that his dad was an addict and Ed was becoming one, too—that Ed shared his drugs with his dad that day. And/or there are other unsavory experiences Ed had when his father was in his life that might have included extremes such as pimping a very young Ed out in exchange for drugs. In reaction to these memories Ed could shoot up (or otherwise use hard drugs), as he hasn’t in years, as we learn why substance abuse was one of three things Ed did not treat in practice (the others being marriage difficulties and kids). To confront his own addictive tendencies, Ed is forced to a Meeting where he must choose to put himself in the hands of something bigger. An Ed’s will versus God’s will kind of epic St. Michael battle.

Return Home, only it’s different: the current story with snapshots of Ed interacting more personally with his home-mates, and able to type into his book document that has, until now, been blank

End with a Future: more ‘hint’ than what is currently envisioned. Just a look between Ed and Jewels that promises, for example.

Major Layer Uncovered: I feel like the idea of something Ed’s thoroughly denied, coming back to bite him (like being pimped out by his drug-abusing father) could work. Then in the more ironic ending, we see Ed going to a counselor himself and crying. Reveal would also include Ed’s own substance abuse history that has been suppressed (not denied or repressed).

Good Guy Wins after Much Pain and Risk: could be the same as the major layer uncovered above. Add to it, risk of losing Jewels and the family as Ed spirals into his own substance use. Maybe he has a health problem as a result, that directly prompts drug treatment.

Great Protagonist Strategy: Ed intentionally uses Projective Identification to get Grace to feel the rage she’s been denying is in her. Which can then open her up and lead to a dizzying array of possible story directions

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Three endings

What I learned: great practice for general creativity. But, also I found things I might use in the other kinds of ending for the happy ending I’ll (now, mostly) stick with.

Up Ending

BEGINNING OF ACT II: (down) Mark dies. How can they have a wedding now? But everyone is invited. Mark’s death is so terribly similar to Ed’s father’s , that Ed’s thrust back into memories he’s avoided—and into a psychological tailspin.

TWISTS:

Mike notices “unscrew us” carved inside Susan’s music box that he finds funny, but when his kids see, he tries to hide it/not tell the kids what the words mean. He stashes the box at the bottom of another box, with all of Mark’s things.
Back at Gardens, Pat, Judy and Don all ask Ed if he’d like to talk, which sends him to the exercise room, then his car, then..
To Susan’s grave where he continues a long-term conversation they were having as teens about how they both felt safe just hanging in his room. Tells Susan that not only does he still feel like he’s not strong enough to live in the world, without his work, he now feels even less so. He recollects how she used to sing and dance there—she was so talented, that could have been her work, but for the agoraphobia/stage fright. How silly to think we could hide out in a box forever… But (like Freud felt about his with his book, The Intrepretation of Dreams) Ed concludes, with Susan, “My work is done. So…maybe this IS the answer”…
Ed checks into a motel. Begins looking at studio apartments. A particular interest in garages and how well the doors seal.
Jewels, unpacking Mark’s box, open’s Susan’s music box, and sees the carved words—knows there’s some deep meaning here for someone—she suspects Ed. She sneaks the box out of the house.
Grace opens another box that Mark gave her and sees: his wedding ring from the wedding to her mother he skipped out on. And a beautiful note telling her to get married like he didn’t. Also, his wish for his ashes to be spread around the world. Which prompts Grace to…
Grace proposes with the ring to Mike and the wedding is again on. As everyone is trying to track down Ed.

CRISIS: Ed visits Susan’s grave. Jewels shows up in her vestments. “Pat said you’d be here.” Jewels shows him the writing in box. Ed interprets it (literally) for her: I’m Mark’s father. Then suddenly sees the metaphor Susan is communicating through—unscrews the tiny dancer that spins when the music plays and closes the box. When Jewels asks what’s still in the box, Ed says, “my fear I won’t be able to cope if I love people and they die.” “But you have coped.” “Not really.” Jewel’s repeats a line Ed said to Chris in ACT II “Don’t you think it’s a bit selfish to limit what you share with the world?” And tells Ed: “There’s a wedding happening in 3 hours.” “I still don’t feel like I’m strong enough” “I’ll help you.” Ed opens the box back up and gives it to Jewels and…

Arrives at the church to find Pat and Adam-Eve’s cake mess “It seemed like a fun idea” Ad Ed suggests they call Judy, Judy comes in with beautiful cupcakes—Adam-Eve and Pat already have.
Mike forgot to order flowers. Ed suggests he call Sister Mary. Judy tells Ed they already have (and we see a scene of Sister Mary, busy directing the harvesting of flowers from Garden’s gardens)
Groomsmen and Mike try to unclog a clog in the kitchen sink by blowing water in it from a garden hose and it blows the pipe, water fills the kitchen, starts seeping into the sacristy. Fortunately, Don has just arrived as a guest, and gets to work as…
People realize the water problem will still be too big of a mess to have the wedding inside, but…
Chris and Lauren are already on it—have mustered the resources and enthusiasm of the ogling neighbors to set up an alter in the graveyard. Ed doesn’t have any of his typical ‘coordinating of others’ work left to do. BUT

CLIMAX: Grace has concluded these disasters add up to one Huge Sign and has disappeared. Ed finds Grace at a park. He’s forced to “play” a little when kids spin him on a ride and he sees Jewel’s red panties as she helps a kid off a climber. Ed helps Grace see what he’s just learned, that even if someone you loves dies, there will always be more people to love (the gathered guests and neighbors she sees when she looks up the hill to the church, waiting for the wedding). Grace goes back to her wedding, but now Ed learns the musicians are stoned and Pat tells him to ‘just fucking play.’ So Ed calls (on his new, first cell phone) the rock band he’s been practicing with—and they play Hendrix-style wedding music so Grace and Mike can finally get married.

Down Ending

BEGINNING OF ACT II: (up) Mark survives the MI and gets Susan’s box—happy at last.

TWISTS: The wedding is on. Everyone thrilled (can use some twists from above that fit), except,

CRISIS: Ed goes to find the musicians in a tiny closet-sized room, completely stoned. As he assesses things Ed, too, becomes stoned with PCP-laced marijuana. Psychotic, he becomes preoccupied with the devil working through human sexual inclinations, relives his father’s death with an even more hellish spin that includes his recovered (possibly imagined) memory that his drug-addict father used some of Ed’s drugs and it was the crack, as well as the loud music, that lead to the father’s heart attack death.

CLIMAX: Completely unhinged by these overwhelming memories, Ed races out, barely dodges a car, only to die from a heart attack from the stress. Grace reacts by blaming Mike for hiring stone-heads as musicians. Mike picks up one of the laced joints in reaction and has a replay of his stoned scene in Act 1 that is (Parasite-like) much darker. Chris looks at Lauren and says that relationships are clearly not worth the risk and takes off on Pat’s motorcycle going God knows where.

Ironic Ending: Gets the need but not the want (live without the defenses, but then it’s hard, too)

BEGINNING OF ACT II/TWISTS/CRISIS/CLIMAX – same as Happy Ending but in final minute montage, see the down-sides, too, of defenses “given up,” including: a bit of Ed’s struggle with depression/anxiety and the “hard work” of facing your past, even as Jewels helps and loves him and he’s working on his book. Mike’s continued struggle with the temptation of drug use, and/or relapse and Rx. Another fight between Mike and Grace, even as they are also happily married. Chris and Lauren fight. Sister Mary or another character at the nursing home dies, etc.

Ironic Ending: Gets the want but not the need

BEGINNING OF ACT II: Mark Dies

TWISTS/CRISIS: Same bullet points as above, but when Jewels gives Ed the box…

CLIMAX: he closes it back up. “Can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Ed leaves Jewels in the graveyard. Jewels helps Grace get married. Ed moves into his studio, completely detached from Grace’s family, but…starts a new life helping the homeless as a volunteer psychiatrist.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Third Act Structure:

What I learned: to—after I “re-thought” this from a high level using an entirely blank page—go back to those earliest exercises Hal had us do, find forgotten nuggets, then integrate them into a new iteration.

Hal’s Questions:

What fascinates you about this story: Narcissism is a form of blindness. Freud’s narcissism blinded him to the joy of the communal. What if: we’re all (no matter our age) an integral part of an intricate tapestry/symphony of matter/energy, and while we can much better understand ourselves by digging internally, we’ll never begin to fully grasp the meaning/joy/hope that can only be seen when we look out of ourselves and see how our particular infinitely unique threads and notes fit/harmonize with everyone else’s in the tapestry/symphony of the universe. What if: even our traumas and pain help us incarnate and sing what we’re meant to (Freud’s grief leads to psychoanalysis). What if: the harmonies of the universe are emergent properties of infinitely singular events (of love and work) that become a Rejoicing when we: Sing, Dance, Play, Create…
What’s the Main Conflict: In Freudian Terms: Inborn Universal Life Instinct versus the Inborn Death/Destructive impulses. More accessibly: Humans versus their particular defenses that protect but also blind/keep them from living their lives to the fullest. For Ed: instinct/desire to maintain his avoidant/obsessive/sublimating (but also narcissistic) defenses that shield him from pain versus the instincts/desires of a universe (that necessarily includes Ed) that needs him to incarnate and sing his part. Simplified: is Ed going to finally dig into himself, as he’s trained to do, to face what keeps him from living? Then for other ensemble characters: will Ed be able to help them see what they’re missing so they can help Ed and others do the same…Ad infinitum.
Ed’s main goal/want: initially to maintain the defenses that have kept him ‘comfortably numb’ until he’s able to rest/join Susan in death. After the call to deliver Susan’s box to her son, Ed’s goal is to, as he did in his professional life, get all the ‘needs’ that keep popping up ‘managed enough/tucked in bed,’ so that he can get back to bed (i.e. back to his initial goal). Ed’s want/goal is to not change. What Ed needs: is to change. What forces this change is that, to get Grace “tucked” he needs to answer her question—that he can only answer by answering it for himself, first.
Ed’s character arc: from being able to love and work (professionally only), to: able to love, work—and play/experience joy—in all aspects of his life. By addressing their particular (each different) defenses, each of the other ensemble characters adds the piece of the Living Whole Trifecta they’re missing. Mike = Work. Grace = Self Love. Christopher = Love.
Ends: everyone helps others love, work and play better

Plot Point 2: After Ed realizes Mark may be his son, as well as Susan’s, and Mark’s finally makes peace with his loner/vagabond personality by seeing (in Susan’s box, that she was the same exact way)—Mark dies. And we suddenly learn that: Mark was only in Grace’s life for the past 2 weeks. And that he had terminal cancer.

Crisis: Ed, exhausted—and with a new symptom he believes to be of a terminal illness—has decided his final obligation to this family is getting through this wedding. But at the wedding, this threshold Susan’s never been able to cross, she, at “reads” into the numerous preparation disasters the penultimate “sign” that she’s not to get married.

Climax: Jewels sees an engraving in Susan’s box she knows has some kind of meaning, probably for Ed. When he reads it, “Un-screw us both,” he first thinks literally—the ‘screwing’ that made Mark, and knows, without a paternity test that he is Mark’s father. But then he finally digs deep inside himself where he finds the ability to think OUTSIDE himself enough to recollect that Susan was a wonderful singer/dancer who was too afraid of humiliation/failure to do either outside of her “box,” which was Ed’s bedroom. Ed unscrews and removes the tiny dancer and closes the music box. Jewels asks what’s still in the box and he answers “my fears of losing what I love.” Then he opens the box back up and gives it to Jewels. Ed then finds Grace swinging in a playground. With his newly-faced understanding, Ed’s finally able to answer Grace’s question: how can you manage your terror that you won’t be able to cope with losing someone, if you let yourself fully love them? You look up (on the hill above the park are scores of other people waiting for the wedding). There will always others who need/can love you. Grace and Ed head back to her wedding where they discover the musicians are stoned, and Pat tells Ed he needs to “just play.” So Ed calls up his Hendrix-style rock group and they play acid-rock versions of the wedding music to get Grace and Mike finally married.

Resolution: Series of Shots (not in order): Grace and Mike: on a truly adult honeymoon—no kids in 11 years. Ed and others place flowers on Susan’s grave—then on neighboring Jimi Hendrix’s. Ed and Jewels with the kids in Disneyland, Ed jots book notes as they joyfully take rides. Ed and Jewels putting the kids on a plane to Seattle before getting on another plane. Kids getting picked up by Pat at the airport, then playing with residents at the retirement home. Ed dictating his book into his phone as he and Jewels visit sites in Europe, scattering some of Mark’s ashes in each place. Grace and Mike try drunkenly to scatter ashes from a ziplock into a fountain in Las Vegas, get chased by cops when the wind blows them everywhere. Ed taking a toke from Jewels’ joint. Linda at Sister Mary’s bedside: 3 shots, spread over the rest—Linda talking, then crying, then listening. Mike directing (via Zoom from Las Vegas, then at the retirement home) the new start up in an unoccupied unit at the retirement home. Walt, Wade and Judy and others demonstrating balance, etc. exercises for Mike to put into video-game mock-up and Christopher to code. In wheelchair and VR gear from the start-up office, Walt virtually assists several Millennial/Gen X, Z-ers with home projects. Adam-Eve and Kristian doing their playful kid things, including bike wheelies with Pat. Kristian pooping in the potty, talking. Linda doing something attentive to the kids. Lauren and Christopher together.

Final Image: Other shots to show the start-up in love/work/play-action, lastly with increasingly large number of smaller and smaller shots of people around the world doing gaming physical exercises and older-people helping (strangers) younger people talk about their relationships (Judy & Wade) and with household projects (Don) on screens all over the office’s walls—the way you see in large game-making companies.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Great Endings

What I learned: great illustration of how the third act mirrors the first—synthesized with the second. Wonderful exercise to look for all the particular details that make this work. I should do it with every movie I watch.

Movie: Arrival

Basic story up to the 3^rd act: Louise Banks, a linguistic expert, has a baby, Hannah, who we see grow, play with her mom, who narrates things she remembers about the “beginning,” “in-between” and the “ending” of Hanna’s “story”—her death from an incurable illness . Louise then explains she no longer believes in beginnings and endings, that there are outside “days that define our lives” like “the day they arrived.” We then learn 12 alien spacecrafts are hovering over various locations around the world. Different countries try to study/determine the intentions of the spaceships above them, contributing information that’s initially shared. Louise and physicist Ian Donnelly (from their differing educational perspectives) get tapped to translate what the aliens seem to be trying to communicate in the US location. They board the spaceship and begin learning to communicate with two creatures with 7 limbs, ‘heptapods’ they nickname Abbott and Costello, whose language is more efficient, “non-linear orthography,” palindromic phrases with circular symbols, which allows them to communicate outside of time. As Louise and Ian increasingly understand the heptapods, they develop mutual respect and ultimate attraction for each other and Louise begins experiencing foreshadowing images of her future with her daughter, who draws pictures of her “TV show” where “Mommy and Daddy talk to animals” (that look like aliens).

All the while there’s increasing public suspicion and restlessness around the world, discussion of, and demands for a violent solution. Eventually Louise and Ian have enough vocabulary to ask the aliens why they have come and learn it’s to “offer weapon.” Disagreements over whether weapon actually means “tool” and if the aliens have come to play countries off each other, as we’ve historically experienced. Aligned with the latter explanation, China, who’s been communicating with their aliens through a winner-take-all game, decides to stop sharing information. Russia and other nations follow. Meanwhile, rogue US soldiers plant a bomb in the Montana alien craft, right before Louise and Ian board the vessel where Louise is asked to write on the barrier between them and the aliens. She does so, experiences a more intense vision of her future and is then able to write in the aliens’ language—before the rogue bomb lands them on ground. Louise wakes up with a concussion to find the military is preparing to evacuate in case the aliens retaliate, and the craft moves a half mile up, but doesn’t leave and China declares war against the aliens after delivering an ultimatum to the aliens.

Ian finds the symbol for time throughout the message they received just before the explosion, and that their message takes up one twelfth of its 3D space. Louise believes all countries need to work together, combine all 12 messages for the answer— in a non-zero sum game where everyone wins. They decide they need to get back on the alien ship, but can’t reach it. Louise stands beneath the ship, which lowers to pick her up to meet one of the aliens “in person.”

THIRD ACT:

TP: Louise learns that one of the aliens was killed by the explosion and apologizes. She’s told “Louise has a weapon. Use weapon,” which she doesn’t understand. She’s then told that the aliens have come to help humanity because they’ll in turn need help in 3,000 years. She asks how can you know the future and—

· Gets a vision of her daughter making figures of her and daddy talking to the aliens. She’s told “Louise sees the future,” that the weapon opens time.

· Another glimpse of her future and she’s suddenly beneath the ship, picked up by evacuating forces and learns that Russia and Sudan are following China. She has a vision of her daughter asking for help with a boot and ‘recalls’ that Ian left her after she told him she knew their future and conceived their “unstoppable” child anyway.

· As the world panics. Warships are set to attack around the world, the Montana site is evacuating and Louise explains to Hannah her palindrome name (leaving her outside of time in a way)

· As Louise looks at the message again, she “recalls” opening her future book, “Universal Language” translating Heptapod about this event, dedicated to Hannah, then her lecturing to a class about it. Realizes she can read the language and that she knows it’s not a weapon, but a Gift.

· The Weapon is their language, she explains to the colonel who blows her off. She

· Remembers her daughter asking her to wake up. Then a fancy banquet where General Shang is happy to meet her in person who tells her no one was able to change his mind but her, and

· Runs back to find a phone to call General Shang, “remembering” the number General Shang tells her in the future, to tell him his wife’s dying words: “war doesn’t make winners, only widows as she’s pursued by soldiers who know she’s calling China. Which

· Causes General Shang to stand down, as Ian protects her and as risk of being shot by soldiers. Other countries follow. All countries will again work together to solve the puzzle as the ships leave.

So this is where your story begins, “the day they departed”—she’s decided to embrace every moment of her future, which she knows means they’ll have a child and that Ian will leave her for her decision.Ian tells Louise he’s been waiting to meet her. “Let’s make a baby.” And their future begins.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Anticipatory Dialogue

What I learned: another great ‘tool’ to keep us on track. When I tried to write a variety of “implied consequences” etc. I eventually was able to stitch some of them into a scene.

INT. ED’S APARTMENT – EVENING

Ed uncovers his delivered dinner. Sprouts. Re-covers it—

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – DINING AREA CONTINUOUS

Across the room, Don and Judy, the only remaining diners, engage in a polite argument as—

Ed stares at the remains of a buffet. Bad as the sprouts.

As STAFF clear service dishes, Ed snatches a few rolls—

Sits in a chair, as far from Don and Judy as possible.

DON

Ed! Over here!

Ed pretends not to hear. Which makes Don—

Beckon so dramatically, you’d have to be blind—.

DON

(Loud as a fire alarm)

Ed!

Ed breathes through pressed lips—what can you do—and

Trudges to Don and Judy’s table. Sits.

DON

You’re exactly who we need!

(And)

Remember that Freud idea where a person forgets something that’s still in their brain? But in a different place where they can’t think it?

JUDY

(Partly-veiled annoyance)

The “I don’t want to think it” place.”

ED

That’s the unconscious.

JUDY

Right.

(And)

Though it wouldn’t be unconscious if the person’s ‘to do’ list hadn’t fallen out of his pocket at a poker game—and into the potato chip dip.

DON

(To Judy)

It wasn’t on the ‘to do’ list. That list was entirely still readable.

(To Ed)

I’m talking about, whatcha call, Reduction? Redaction in the brain?

ED

Repression?

DON

Repression! Yes. How’s that work?

ED

Uh.

Doesn’t want this; where it might lead. But as Judy and Don lean in. Rapt—

ED

Well, if a thought or feeling, or a memory or impulse is unpleasant or unwanted, it can be pushed out of conscious awareness without us realizing it—

(And)

That’s repression. Suppression is the same, only the pushing out is intentional.

JUDY

So it’s your fault, Don. Suppression is intentional forgetting.

Ed saw that coming, a continent away. Tries to fix—

ED

The terms aren’t judgements, good or bad. They’re just descriptions of mental processes. How the brain works.

Don and Judy frown. Confused—or maybe don’t want to buy.

ED

(Tries again)

Pretend you’re at work and you have important meetings. You don’t have time think about how you forgot to take your garbage out—and next week you’ll have to pay extra. So you suppress your thoughts and feelings about your garbage—and get on with your work.

JUDY

(To Don)

So you suppressed my sister coming because you think poker’s more important.

DON

Or you suppressed I had a very important game when you were planning your sister’s visit—seeing as you don’t like poker.

JUDY

Or you suppressed that you had the game when I told you she was coming, so I wouldn’t get mad. And because you don’t like her!

(And)

But however it was, Gloria’s Depends were still on your to-do list when you went to the grocery. And you came home with chips and dip instead!

(And)

The rest of the mess is history.

Don takes his glasses off. Closes his eyes. Feels for something in the air like he’s blind—

DON

I could not find that list after I scrubbed it.

(Opens his eyes)

That’s blindness. Or—

Don hand-bites the air for the words, like a dog snapping at treats—

DON

Dementia: Redaction. Reduction. My word-finding difficulties—?

(Point proven)

It isn’t suppression.

ED

(Maybe there is dementia?)

You scrubbed a paper list?

Judy reacts. Lovingly hits Don with her napkin—the play they easily fall into, that’s fed their marriage.

Besides, precious little time left to fight! Back to what matters—

DON

There anything major in your life, Ed, you’ve repressed or suppressed?

ED

That I was supposed to remind you to pick up Depends at the grocery?

Don laughs. Judy gives both men ‘the eye.’

DON

If looks can kill, repression could be lethal.

(Sobering thought)

You probably saw that? Or violence at least.

JUDY

(Empathic)

What was the worst for you, Dr. Ed. The patients you couldn’t help but ‘take home’?

Ed’s quiet. So many people’s struggles still in his heart.

DON

(To rescue—)

Judy. Patient confidentially.

ED

No, this won’t violate—

(As hard as it was then—)

The worst is when parents don’t or can’t or won’t let themselves see signs of their children’s distress. Like: it takes an overdose to face that a kid is using drugs—and depressed.

The weight here. Wisdom from raising three of her own. And Exactly what Ed, himself, has been trying to avoid—

JUDY

Ed, I know Grace isn’t your grandchild. But she’s a dear—and a mess. I hope you’ll go to her wedding. She might even need you to walk her down the aisle.

DON

She’s got a father for that.

JUDY

(Surprised)

Oh, Silly Judy.

(Is it dementia?)

Why did I think—?

DON

Well, I guess I’d add, at our age, there’s only so many days to share what we can. So, that probably argues you going.

Don pushes himself up. Like it’s Herculean work—

DON

And the girl is, seriously, a mess.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Figures-of-Speech

What I learned: with practice (and constantly referencing the Figures) I’m starting to see how this works…

INT. ED’S APARTMENT – EVENING

Ed, supine in bed. Hands crossed on his chest. Ignores growing knocks. But tonight, not as long. Before he—

Jabs on his glasses. Trudges to the door.

ED

(Speaks through it)

Hello Grace.

GRACE

How’d you know it was me?

ED

Because your pounding doesn’t break windows like Pat’s.

Ed leans an elbow on the door. His forehead on the elbow’s hand—what to do? Before Grace knocks again, hard as Pat.

Ed leaps back. Jarred.

GRACE

You still with me? Ed?

Glasses askew, Ed shakes his head.

ED

Actually, I’m not sure.

(With everything he’s got)

What do you want?

GRACE

I want you to meet my dad.

(And)

At this point in his life, he really needs his mom. Or something of his mom. You’re what we’ve got.

ED

I’m not your dad’s mom, Grace.

GRACE

But you loved her.

Sigh. Can’t argue with that.

GRACE

You know things. Her favorite color, food. Animal. Her quirks and dreams. The things she’d say I should do to make a good, long marriage…

Ed coughs. His head between his hands, now. A vice—

ED

Actually there’s a lot I—

GRACE

(Interrupts)

Think of the stories! All those years….

(And)

You can tell me one right now! What was Susan like when she was my age?

ED

(Strange high pitch)

Grace, I was trying to sleep. Can we please do this later?

GRACE

It’s 6:45!

(And)

Come on, Ed, I’m here. I just want to talk for a tiny little bit. Open up the door up. Pleeeeez?

Ed’s silent—at a complete loss. How to do this without the therapy frame? Even more—what she’s asking of him!

But Grace isn’t lost. Since it’s worked magic before—

GRACE

And speaking of marriage, Michael and I this awful fight; the kids are upset—and I really need…

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – HALL – SHORT TIME LATER

Ed with his workout bag, walks briskly down the hall as—

Grace dance-leaps to keep up, and—

GRACE

So, when you say you have to understand and ADMIT the true motivation behind what you’re saying to the other person…

Eligible Women from before emerge from an apartment and—

Follow Grace and Ed, into—

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – EXERCISE ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Where Ed blows off more steam than we’ve ever seen as—

The ELIGIBLE WOMEN ogle and Grace, beside Ed, runs down various relationship scenarios.

GRACE

So, if one person feels an aversive feeling—like fear—but isn’t used to talking about his fear, and…

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Subtext Pointers 2

What I learned: practice makes this easier…

EXT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – STREET BUS-STOP – DAY

The typical more-of-a-mist rain as Ed waits. Fidgets, somehow, even with his back straight as a yardstick, as—

GROWL, the classic exhaust note of a Harley deepens. Then—

PATATA-PATATA-PATATA—shifts to idle, as Pat puts a foot down. Exactly where Ed expects the bus to stop.

ED

What?

PAT

Offering you a ride, like always.

ED

No thanks, Pat, as always.

PAT

You are so chicken.

(And, demanding)

Where do you go every morning?

As both see the bus approaching, Ed ignores the question—

ED

I prefer to stay dry.

Pat looks up at the sky. At Ed, drips on her face as—

A spew of exhaust, the bus gets closer.

ED

Exactly.

(Now)

Would you please get out of the way?

PAT

I thought they teach you in Shrink School how to live a fun life. Love and sex. That Freud stuff?

The bus bears down. No love lost, here—

ED

(Terse. Corrects)

Love and WORK. Now move.

The bus honks. Then…

PAT

What are you scared of?

…Veers around Pat as—

Ed gives chase. Arms flail, uncharacteristically dramatic

ED

(Over his shoulder)

I’m not scared of anything.

PAT

So, you’re just dry? Like weetbix? A desert?

(An idea)

Kindling—ready to catch fire!

The bus screeches to a stop and—

Ed climbs on. Pat hollers so the world can hear—

PAT

Well, Dry Man, take it from an expert. The things you avoid will someday bite you in the ass!

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Cover-Ups

What I learned: this seemed difficult. But when I took them one by one, then massaged the rough ideas…

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – HALL – LATER

As Ed opens his door—

DON

Pretty exciting encore. Though I’d have preferred the Kingston Trio’s.

(And)

You missed a great show, Ed

ED

I’m sure of it. ‘Night, Don.

Ed intends/expects this to be the end, but

Don pushes his wheels. Forces Ed to—

Hop ahead of him, backwards into—

ED’S APARTMENT – ENTRY – CONTINUOUS

Where Don sees Ed’s Victorian art, for the first time

DON

Wow! That’s—

Now his Freud-Replica office—

DON

K. Feel I’ve seen that before, too.

Ed rubs his temples—how to regain his footing. Hide the annoyance—

ED

So. I was thinking I’d get back to—

But, Don interrupts. Pushes them them both into—.

DON

I know! The Freud museum! Mallory hauled me there before she died. Yours looks exactly like his!

ED’S LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Ed and Don look at each other—bucks with opposing agendas.

DON

Makes sense. But at our age, a little anal?

Ed closes his eyes. But the ironic smile—he’d only take this from a guy like—well, actually, only from—Don.

ED

Better than phallic.

DON

What’s wrong with phallic?

Now, that’s too far. Ed replaces the framed photos on Susan’s alter in silence—point for Ed.

DON

Must have been special gal.

More silence — very. Taking Ed’s role—point for Don.

DON

What was her name?

Ed’s eyes well as he looks at his photos.

ED

Susan.

(Despite himself)

My one and only.

And this rare disclosure from his enigmatic friend—

DON

Mallory and I had 8 years. Second marriage. I can see how it’d be harder to talk about, if you were together that long.

Ed doesn’t respond. How’d this battle turn into to the Christmas Truce of WWI? Finally—

ED

Yes, well, you and Mallory were wonderful couple.

(And)

On that note, let’s call it a night.

But from his chair’s vantage, Don notices–

DON

Is that box hand-carved?

Lord—

ED

I guess. It was Susan’s. She wanted to give it to a son she gave up for adoption before we—hooked up. But she never looked for him, far as I know

DON

What’s in it?

Like he’s truly, never considered—

ED

I don’t know.

DON

(Beat. Perplexed)

So, you going to try to find him?

ED

Would you? I mean, it’s not like he was my son.

Off Don’s confused expression—a guy who would go into a burning building to find someone as ungrateful as Edna?

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Dialogue Structures

What I learned – these are not only entertaining but can serve as a skeleton for a scene…

EXT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – NIGHT

Red firetruck light, ribbons the night as—

Ed, in a bathrobe, huddles with formally-dressed residents/families in spit-spray rain as

The band tries to shelter their instruments in a van.

RESIDENT 1

We’re all going to die.

Ed clutches the framed photos from his alter. Looks at the frazzled woman—that would fine with him.

PAT

We are not. Some kid pulled the alarm. Besides we’re safe here.

DON

(Re: Ed’s frames)

Whatcha got?

Pat smells a story. Is insta-glued on the frames as—

RESIDENT 1

I smell smoke!

ED

(Embarrassed)

Oh, just photos.

(Notices on the top level)

Actually it is smoke.

PAT

A girl you didn’t tell us about?

Pat pushes the edge of one frame down to see—

PAT

That’s cradle-robbing!

DON

What?

(Tips the photo to him)

An’46 Ford? All of us were in cradles back then.

(To Ed)

Who is she?

Ed remains fixated on what clearly is smoke—

ED

I think that’s Edna’s place.

PAT

Was she your wife?

A fire bucket rises to the smoking room as—

Ed looks around, concerned—

ED

Where’s Edna

And Pat pushes Ed’s other frame’s corner, such that—

Both pictures begin to slip. As Ed barely keeps hold—

ED

Stop it!

Ed lifts the frames above Pat’s reach. Looks for Edna

PAT

I didn’t know you were married. When’d she die?

ED

(Annoyed)

A year ago.

(And)

We have to find Edna.

PAT

How long were you married?

DON

(Been looking, too)

You’re right. I don’t see her—

And Resident 1’s been listening—

RESIDENT 1

Edna’s going to die!

A fire hose blasts water at what what we now see is flames as—

Edna appears in a window near the flames and—

The bucket fireman motions her to get in his bucket but—

Edna shakes her head, ‘no.’ Points back into her apartment. Hollers something we can’t hear.

RESIDENT 1

(Yells at Edna)

You waiting to die, Edna?

Ed’s stamps toward the firetruck.

ED

Oh, for crying out loud!

(To Edna)

Edna, get in. The firemen are going to water your plants.

Edna yells something at Ed, which makes Ed—

Start to barge toward the entrance to get her. As he’s stopped by a fireman—

RESIDENT 1

Dr. Ed is going to die. He has a death-wish!

Explains to Resident 1—

PAT

That’s because his wife died last year.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Contrast Scene

Having characters’ dialogue not ‘match’ what what’s happening makes the scene feel fresh, helps keep us attentive.

EXT. RUNDOWN CHURCH – DAY

From the sidewalk: Grace, Jewels and Mike gaze at the church like it’s Sleeping Beauty’s castle at Disneyland as

Ed appears constipated: Weathered siding. Chipped steps. Evidence of illicit teen partying and a yard full of weeds

MIKE

(Re: the yard)

Is that a graveyard?

GRACE

(Enchanted)

Ohhh!

Grace ballet-leaps up the steps—

Tiptoes into the crabgrass like it’s a daisy field and—

Bends at an untended gravestone. Reads—

GRACE

So young.

As Mike, the devotion of Moses, moves toward something he sees in a bush, and—

Jewels sasheys after Grace—

JEWELS

Now don’t get superstitious.

GRACE

Are you kidding? It’s beautiful! Your deceased loved ones with you every time you go to church!

MIKE

We don’t go to church?

(appraises the thorns)

And those aren’t our deceased.

It isn’t a talking flame, but worth—Mike jabs in a fist.

MIKE

Ow!

A scratched arm. Pulls out a full bottle beer!

Grace practically leaps, it’s that genius—

GRACE

Let’s get married at Susan’s grave!

Mike’s glee turns pensive—wish he’d thought of it.

MIKE

That’d be super meaningful to you.

Jewels looks at Ed—

JEWELS

Is it public property?

Ed marches up the steps to the door. Nip this in the bud.

ED

This is a great venue. Quaint.

He points to a sign, “Founded in 1962” –

ED

Historic.

As a bus goes by—

ED

Close to transportation.

Grace goes still, like she’s tuning into a message, maybe from Susan’s grave as—

Jewels parts the grass. Moves to the door Ed’s opened—

JEWELS

Let’s go inside at least.

Mike somehow has an opener. Pops the beer top.

MIKE

Absolutely.

(Chugs)

This is awesome.

As Mike follows Jewels and Ed inside—

Grace looks up at the sky. Please. Give me a sign.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Character Traits Live!

What I learned: super helpful to have these traits on the wall in front of me at all times…

Ed – retired psychiatrist

*Responsible (Works, ALA FREUD’s “Love & Work”) <div>

*Avoidant of personal intimacy- restless as a consequence

*Caring

* Connecting (of others)

Grace – conflicted fiancee of…

*Hard working (over-Works-ALA Freud) </div><div>

*Playful/Joyful (what Freud forgot)

*Enthusiastic/exuberant

*Magical Thinking (If I make it Real, it will disappear)

…Mike – Grace’s loving but marijuana-addicted/unemployed/ADHD fiancé

*Loves -ALA Freud (simply) </div><div>

*Spins things positive (salesman)

*Fun/plays(what FREUD forgot)

*Impulsive/distractible/addictive—unable to Work

Grace and Mike love each other and their two children, but fight a lot and haven’t been able to tie the knot because of their Resistances—per Freud (“issues,” from character traits above). Ed has lived a life Resistant to intimacy in personal (family/love) relationships, who is Called in this Call scene to join a family/find love, when his caring/responsible/work traits and Grace’s uncanny resemblance to his life’s only love (Susan) reel him in…</div><div>

17. EXT.GREENWOOD MEMORIAL PARK CEMETERY – BUS STOP -SAME

Ed flags down, boards a bus. At the front of the aisle, he

Freezes as, (with us) he recognizes: the hair, face. Even the coat of the young woman (circa 1945) on Ed’s alter.

In the third row, aisle-side behind two empty seats, is GRACE, 32. Truly Susan’s doppelgänger. Beside her is—

MICHAEL, 34 (MIKE to everyone else), Grace’s long-time fiancé. Their son, KRISTIAN, 2, bounces on Mike’s lap.

GRACE

(To Mike)

It’s everything at the theater. Then Adam’s homework and…

(Silly face to Kristian)

Kristian, can you say Mama? Maaa-maaaa?

The toddler giggles.

Grace smiles at Kristian as, to Mike—

GRACE

…everything Kristian needs. And everyone needs dinner. EVERY night!

MIKE

Damn that lasagna was good!

Grace raises her voice—please be a parent—

GRACE

Michael! Words!

MIKE

(To Kristian, without a missed beat)

MAMA, that lasagna was good. Mama. Kristian. Can you say, Maaaamaaaa? Maaaaa—

The bus turns and Ed grabs a rail as he continues to just stare at Grace. Which—

Mike notices. Zero malice for Ed, as—

MIKE

Gorgeous, isn’t she? Super hot. I mean, in bed—

Grace interrupts, aghast—

GRACE

Michael!

Ed, red as the light the bus slows for, is pulled forward.

When it turns green and the bus lurches, Ed loses balance. Gets

Tossed back, into the first seat. As behind him—

GRACE

I can’t believe you just said that.

(To Ed)

Oh, Sir, are you okay?

Ed grumbles—fine.

MIKE

Truth!

(To Ed)

Glad you’re okay, sir.

(To Grace)

Last night’s bubble “bath”…

Kristian giggles.

GRACE

Oh, God. I forgot to clean that up! What if Adam sees?

Ed pulls his raincoat tighter. Scrunches down—why him? As—

Mike relishes the memory-

MIKE

Holy, holy.

(And)

What if Adam sees?

GRACE

(Frustrated)

Do you have it in you to help me?

MIKE

What?

GRACE

I mean, it’s like I have to—

MIKE

(Interrupts)

After the wedding, I promise.

GRACE

Shhhh! Don’t say that!

MIKE

(Been here before)

Grace.

GRACE

You’ll jinx it!

Mike groans. This time, he doesn’t want to play—

MIKE

I was going to wait to tell you. But I have an interview scheduled. For after the wedding. And then—

GRACE

Aggggggghh! I just said!

MIKE

I’m getting a job! Soon as we’re married. Like you SAID.

(Off her horrified face)

What?

Those Voldemort-words—

GRACE

(Whispers)

I mean it. Jinx—

MIKE

(Finally too annoyed)

What does that even mean?

(Louder)

Jinx. Jinx. It’s just a damn word. Like Mama. Like damn.

KRISTIAN

Daaaaaa

GRACE

(Desperate)

Michael!

(To Kristian)

Dada said Dada. Dada. Dada.

KRISTIAN

Daaaaaaammmm

Kristian flashes a Cheshire-cat grin.

GRACE

OhmyGod!

MIKE

Grace this isn’t rational. It’s superstitious. It’s crazy!

The impatience in his voice—Kristian starts to cry and—

Mike immediately moves his son to Grace’s lap and—

Practically stands up-if only there were somewhere to go.

But there’s not. Mike sits back down.

MIKE

Come on, guys. Seriously?

Now Grace starts to cry. Which makes Kristian cry harder—and Michael instantly apologetic.

MIKE

Oh, I didn’t mean—. Grace, come on!

GRACE

(Sobs)

You—never—

MICHAEL

(Interrupts)

Ok, I’m sorry. Sorrysorrysorry!

GRACE

You just—don’t—

Interrupts again. Directed at both Grace and Kristian—

MICHAEL

Shhhhhhhh. It’s okay. Kay, kay.

GRACE

(Sobs)

It is not okay. Those words! And what I need is for you to—

MICHAEL

(Clearly his interpersonal style—)

I know. Exactly! I am going to! Get another job. Just like you said.

GRACE

No! I mean, not now. Now, I need—

It really isn’t in him, to not interrupt—

MIKE

It’ll be good. I got a great lead. And soon as the wedding—

GRACE

(Wits’ end)

Mike!

Ed turns around. Psychological distress in anyone, but, a woman who looks exactly like Susan! Ed can’t help but—

ED

(Professional firmness)

Listen to her!

Mike’s spine goes insta-straight. Years of scoldings in primary school—

MIKE

(To Ed)

What? To Grace?

ED

Let her finish. Listen to her.

Mike’s tongue pokes at his cheek as he genuinely thinks. But, like the instructions in a physics lab—

MIKE

(To Grace)

I don’t listen?

Grace nods—you don’t.

Kristian nods, too.

A light bulb. The part of physics Mike liked—

MIKE

Hmmm. Okay. Yeah, I get it. I’ll listen. What do you want to say?

KRISTIAN

Mmmmmmaaaaaaa

GRACE AND MIKE

(Instantly refocused)

Mama! Good, Kristian, good!

KRISTIAN

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

GRACE

Just don’t say the ‘m’ or the ‘w’ words. Say, ‘day.’ We’ll call it a ‘day.’

As his parents are all empathic and into each other, Kristian really hollers. All sorts of noises

MIKE

Whatever you want, honey. I’m just so glad we’re—having a day.

Like they’ve both, suddenly remembered—

GRACE

(To Ed)

Thank you, sir.

MIKE

Yeah, you must be a marriage therapist.

“We totally Love You” smiles from them both as Ed nods.

Turns away. Oh, my God.

</div>

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Great Dialogue Scene from The Social Network

What I learned: I could go over this one scene many times and find even more than I’ve listed. Pros really do a lot with every line!

FROM THE BLACK WE HEAR—

MARK (V.O.)

Did you know there are more people with genius IQ’s living in China than there are people of any kind living in the United States?

Characterization: Genius IQ matters to Mark…

ERICA (V.O.)

That can’t be true.

Attack/Counter-attack (A/C)

MARK (V.O.)

It is true.

ERICA (V.O.)

What would account for that?

MARK (V.O.)

Well first of all, a lot of people live in China. But here’s my question:

FADE IN:

INT. CAMPUS BAR – NIGHT

MARK ZUCKERBERG is a sweet looking 19 year old whose lack of any physically intimidating attributes masks a very complicated and dangerous anger. He has trouble making eye contact and sometimes it’s hard to tell if he’s talking to you or to himself.

ERICA, also 19, is Mark’s date. She has a girl-next-door face that, makes her easy to fall for. At this point in the conversation she already knows that she’d rather not be there and her politeness is about to be tested.

The scene is stark and simple.

MARK

How do you distinguish yourself in a population of people who all got 1600 on their SAT’s?

…because Mark is a genius who thirsts to be distinguished among geniuses—to be the “best of the best.”

ERICA

I didn’t know they take SAT’s in China.

MARK

I wasn’t talking about China anymore, I was talking about here.

ERICA

You got 1600?

MARK

You can sing in an a Capella group.

ERICA

Does that mean that you actually got nothing wrong?

MARK

Or you row crew or you invent a 25 dollar PC.

A/C – ignoring her question

ERICA

Or you get into a final club.

MARK

Or you get into a final club, exactly.

ERICA

I like guys who row crew.

A/C digs at him

MARK.

beat

Well I can’t do that. And yes, it means I got nothing wrong on the test.

Reacts to the dig by finally answering her question: yes I’m amazing

ERICA

Have you ever tried?

MARK

I’m trying now.

ERICA

To row crew?

MARK

To get into a final club. To row crew? No, Are you, like—whatever—crazy?

A/C insult

ERICA

Sometimes, Mark seriously you say two things at once and I’m not sure which one we’re talking about.

A/C complaint

■ARK

But you’ve seen guys who row crew, right?

ERICA

No.

MARK

Okay, well they’re bigger than me. They’re world class athletes. And a second ago you said you like guys who row crew so I assumed you’d met one.

A/C – what you said obviously leads to this assumption…so what you said was wrong. Also characterizes his concrete/empathy-impaired thinking

ERICA

I guess I meant I liked the idea of it. The way a girl likes cowboys.

MARK

The Phoenix is good.

ERICA

This is a new topic?

A/C – dig

MARK

It’s the same topic.

A/C – denies

ERICA

We’re still talking about the finals clubs?

MARK

Would you rather talk about something else?

ERICA

No, it’s just that since the beginning of the conversation about finals clubs I think I may have had a birthday.

A/C – dig

MARK

We can change the subject.

ERICA

can’t get over it

There are more people in China with genius IQ’s than the entire population of–

MARK

It’s about exclusivity.

Clarifies his life-organizing goal – also a set up for the plot with the club

ERICA

God…what is?

A/C – dig

MARK

The final clubs. And that’s how you distinguish yourself. The Phoenix is the most diverse. The Fly Club, Roosevelt punched the Pore.

ERICA

Which one?

MARK

The Porcellian, the Pore, it’s the best of the best.

ERICA

I actually meant which Roosevelt.

A/C

MARK

Theodore.

ERICA

Okay, well, which is the easiest one to get into?

MARK takes a cigarette from a pack, lights it, takes a drag and blows the smoke out before he says…

MARK

Hm.

ERICA

What?

MARK

Why would you ask me that?

He’s interpreted this as a dig, which says more about his paranoid personality here, probably

ERICA

I was just asking.

MARK

They’re all hard to get into. My friend Eduardo made $300,000 betting on oil futures last summer and he won’t get in. Money or the ability to make it doesn’t impress anybody around here. Everybody can do that.

ERICA

He made $300,000 in a summer?

MARK

He likes meteorology.

A/C though maybe more related to Autism Spectrum than intentional avoidance

ERICA

You said it was oil futures.

MARK

If you can predict the weather you can predict the price of heating oil. You, asked me that because you think the final club that’s easiest to get into is the one where I’ll have the best chance.

A/C -perseverating on his paranoid idea

ERICA

beat

I’ve lost my place again.

A/C complains, again that he is confusing to talk to

MARK

You asked me which one was the easiest to get into because you think that’s where I have the best chance.

ERICA

The one that’s easiest to get into would be the one where anybody had the best chance.

A/C counters his paranoia

MARK

I just, think you asked—the placement of where you asked the question–

ERICA

I was honestly just asking. Okay? I was asking just to ask. Mark, I’m not speaking in code.

MARK

Erica—

ERICA

You’re obsessed with the finals clubs. You have finals clubs OCD and you need to see someone about this who’ll prescribe some sort of medication. You don’t care if side effects may include blindness, okay, just, do it.

A/C – could be interpreted as an attack: you need a shrink.

MARK

Final clubs. Not finals clubs and there’s a difference between being obsessed and being motivated.

ERICA

Yes there is.

A/C an agreement that attacks

MARK

Well you do–that was cryptic–so you do speak in code.

A/C: see, I was right

ERICA

I didn’t mean to be cryptic.

A/C: denies intent

MARK

I’m saying I need to do something substantial in order to get the attention of the clubs.

ERICA

Why?

MARK

because they’re exclusive.

beat

And fun and they lead to a better” life.

Even better clarifies he’s driven by a need to be exclusive. Everything else is secondary

ERICA

You think Teddy Roosevelt got elected president because he was a member of the Phoenix Club?

MARK

He was a member of the Porcellian and yes I do.

ERICA

Maybe he sang in an a CapeIla group.

MARK

I want to be straight forward and tell you that I think you should be a lot more supportive. If I get in I’11 be taking you to the parties and you’ll be meeting people that you wouldn’t normally get to meet.

A/C – expresses annoyance at her behavior—and a dig. Without me, you’re nothing

ERICA

smiles

You would do that for me?

MARK

You’re my girlfriend.

ERICA

Okay, well I want to be straight forward and tell you that I’m not anymore.

A/C breaking up – sets up his vengeful Reaction, which ultimately leads to everything that happens in the movie

MARK

beat

What do you mean?

ERICA

I’m not your girlfriend anymore,

MARK

Is this a joke?

ERICA

No, I’m sorry, it’s not,

MARK

You’re breaking up with me?

ERICA

You’re going to introduce me to people I wouldn’t normally get to meet? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

MARK

Take it easy.

ERICA

What was it supposed to mean?

MARK

It was Erica, the reason we’re able to sit here and drink is that you used to sleep with the door guy.

A/C dig

ERICA

pause

I want to really try not to lose it now. The door guy’s name is Bobby. I haven’t slept with the door guy, the door guy’s a friend of mine. He’s a perfectly good class of people and what part of Long Island are you from—England?

MARK

I’m from Westchester.

ERICA

I’m going back to my dorm. Wait, wait, this is real?

ERICA

Yes.

MARK

I apologize, okay? Siddown.

ERICA

I ‘m going back to my dorm, I have to study.

MARK

Erica–

ERICA

Yeah.

MARK

I’m sorry and I mean it…

ERICA

I appreciate that but–

MARK

Come on.

ERICA

–I have to study.

MARK

You don’t have to study. Let’s just talk.

ERICA

I can’t.

MARK

Why?

ERICA

Because it’s exhausting. Going out with you is like dating a stairmaster.

A/C honest feedback that hurts

MARK

All I meant is that you go to B.U. and so you’re not likely to–I wasn’t making a comment on your parents–I was saying you go to B.U.

A/C -characterization that is also a dig

ERICA

I have to go study.

MARK

You don’t have to study.

ERICA

How do you know I don’t have to study?!

MARK

Because you go to B.U.!

A/C that may also be characterization (Spectrum challenges)

ERICA stares at him…

MARK

beat

Do you want to get some food?

ERICA

I’m sorry you’re not sufficiently impressed with my education.

MARK

And I’m sorry I don’t have a rowboat.

ERICA

I think we should just be friends.

MARK

I don’t need friends. THEME – and characterization

ERICA

I was being polite, I had no intention of being friends with you.

A/C dig and Theme

MARK

You’re really leaving.

ERICA takes MARK’S hand and looks at him tenderly…

ERICA

close

Listen, You’re going to be successful and rich. But you’re going to go through life thinking that girls don’t like you because you’re a tech geek. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won’t be true. It’ll be because you’re an asshole.

A/C that is also theme/characterization of Mark – sets up the rest of the movie

And with that stinger, ERICA walks off and we stay on MARK as the pulsing intro to Paul Young’s “Love of the Common People” crashes in–

ERICA

calling over her shoulder

And you’re never getting into a final club.

Along with the MUSIC, we slowly push in on MARK. A fuse has just been lit.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Dialogue Cover-ups

What I learned: you can actually use several cover-up methods in the same scene…cool.

A first: Mark has shown up as promised. The subtext is: this time his absences haven’t been due to flakiness, he has end-stage cancer and doesn’t want to tell anyone until the wedding is over. This is part of a scene sequence during a co-ed shower. Here’s: silence, action incongruent with words/inappropriate reaction to an emotional event, confirms something untrue that Mark believes…

INT. CHILDREN’S THEATER – LOBBY – EVENING

Beads of sweat on his face, Mark pushes a sleeve up. Reveals a bruise and needle marks.

MIKE

Dude!

Mark pulls his sleeve back down. Says nothing.

MIKE

That’s the hard shit.

Mark shifts. Squints.

MARK

Yeah. I—

(Wipes his upper lip)

Quit.

Mike grins. Maybe today. Holds up his beer up to cheer—

MIKE

Best days ahead!

But as Mark blinks. Blinks some more—

MIKE

Hey man, I didn’t mean—

Mike reaches for another, dusty sobriety slogan—

MIKE

A smooth sailor is—

But it’s been awhile—

MIKE

Perfection is progress!

That can’t be right. Mike takes a swig for inspiration—

MARK

Backward steps are steps.

Mark’s eyes are red. As he pulls out a tissue—

MIKE

Dude! It’s your first day! I mean, I haven’t even quit yet, this time.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Multiple Meanings:

What I learned: I sometimes forget to consider every character’s unique experience in each moment. Focusing on Multiple Meanings helps enrich the script.

Set up: Mark, Susan’s life-long estranged father (who’s only just shown up for her wedding), is hospitalized with an MI. Ed, the boyfriend of Mark’s deceased biological agoraphobic librarian mother has just given Mark the box she’d made for him, full of pictures of the places she wished she’d traveled to, and hoped he has (as a travel podcaster, he has!)—which has given Mark a transcendent kind of peace right before this scene…

Ed never had “sex-sex” with Susan in high school though he did do “everything but”—before she suddenly moved away. It has yet to occur to him that he could be her adopted-out son (Mark’s) biological father—and Grace’s grandfather. He also is unaware that Mark was entirely estranged from Grace during her growing up. No one knows anything about Mark’s medical history, aside from his heart attack. Linda has forgotten why she was ever attracted to Mark. Mike, who hasn’t been willing to treat his treatable medical conditions, hasn’t thought much about what it would be like to have an untreatable one—and this will prompt his finally seeking care.

INT. HOSPITAL – MARK’S ROOM – DAY

Mark in a bed laughs with Grace. Holds her hand. It’s a nice moment, augmented when Mark—

Invites Linda with a look and—

Linda moves closer. A hint of what attracted them still here. A family at last as—

AirPlay on the TV: Mike plays a shoot-em video game on his iPad. Kristian and Adam-Eve watch, cheer. A hit—GROAN as—

CARDIAC ALARM SOUND. A NURSE, then CODE TEAM rush in.

A RESIDENT starts compressions on Mark. Others ready the defibrillator, etc. as—

HEAD NURSE arrives.

HEAD NURSE

Stop. He’s DNR.

Utter confusion. Resident ambivalently stops compressions.

CODE MEMBER 1

What? He’s 60!

CODE MEMBER 2

60? He looks 45.

CODE MEMBER 2 nods at Resident to restart. He does.

As she knocks Resident’s hands off Mark’s chest—

HEAD NURSE

He’s DNR! I took it myself. He’s got end stage pancreatic cancer. Doesn’t want chemo, surgery, Cyberknife—or pain. Psych’s seen him – he’s totally competent.

Code member 2 looks at Linda, who shrugs. Looks at Mike—

CODE MEMBER 2

That right?

MIKE

(Game control in hand)

I don’t know. We just met him.

Code member 1 looks at Grace.

GRACE

Three weeks ago.

Ed’s totally confused.

ED

He’s your dad!

LINDA

(New touch of ambivalence)

He’s a sperm donor.

Ed grasps his head—how to process? Then, to the team—

ED

Look, I’m a physician. Can we compress while we talk?

Head nurse grudgingly acquiesces. Compressions restart.

ED

May I see the psych note?

Head nurse opens the psych note on the room’s computer.

Ed reads.

Professional demeanor to everyone, as, inside he roils like he hasn’t since he was 11—

ED

She’s right. Mark has advanced cancer. He’s competent. He does not want to be resuscitated.

People look at each other and at no one as—

The compressions stop. The code team gathers equipment, slips out. Mark looks notably serene as—

Ed tries not to pace.

Linda ruffles through her purse.

Mike hugs a tearful Grace—

MIKE

Wow. A medical problem that is totally untreatable. At least he looks happy.

LINDA

Bastard.

(A tiny bit of…respect, and—?)

And when he was finally trying.

GRACE

He was nice. Really nice. I mean, the few hours he was around.

(And)

Why didn’t he tell us?

Adam-Eve and Kristian restart the video game—strange, mixed emotions and existential bigness, as—

Ed chews on something bothersome—

ED

He was 60?

(To Linda)

How old are you?

LINDA

49. Cradle-robbing bastard. I was too young to be a single mom.

(Tissue blotting tears, she grabs the iPad from Adam-Eve)

I need something to shoot.

Growing distress on Ed’s face as he does the math…

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s subtext scene.

What I learned: I really need to keep practicing this. Obviously it’s important, but I definitely need to do more work.

Grace (who we’ll much later learn is Ed’s granddaughter, as well as his long-lost love, Susan’s granddaughter) has made friends with many people at Ed’s retirement home and invited them to the wedding shower she’s also pressuring Ed to attend. That he’s trying to get out of.

Meaning of the subtext: everyone knows Ed’s been asked to the shower and that he doesn’t know they have. Everyone is planning to attend, and they’re in cahoots to get him there, too.

Cover up: everyone feigns ignorance/doesn’t bite-reveal anything, as they enact the plot

When is the reveal: at the end when we see everyone get into vehicles with wedding gifts.

How revealed: with gifts, party clothes

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – SAUNA – DAY

Ed in swim-trunks, Don in tighty-whities, sweat.

ED

(Wipes a brow)

I can’t go to a bridal shower.

DON

Women go to those.

ED

Exactly.

DON

(Sees only the potential)

Better odds than our fantasy draft.

Off Ed’s annoyed expression—

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – HALL — LATER

Ed now in sweats, a towel about his neck, fidgets by a closed door of the chapel as low SOUNDS gradually become—

Women reciting Hail Mary’s before—

Silence. Ed cracks the door—they must be done. Sticks his neck in to see—

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – CHAPEL – SAME

Sister Mary in bed-chair, in a circle of women.

SISTER MARY AND THE WOMEN

(Focused)

Oh my Jesus, forgive us our sins. Save us from the fires of hell—

Sr. Mary continues as she looks at Ed who…

SISTER MARY AND THE WOMEN

Lead all souls to heaven, especially those who are most in need of Thy mercy.

…Mouths an apology. Retracts his head like a turtle as—

Sr. Mary’s owl eyes, like suction cups on his cheeks—

SISTER MARY

What do you need, Ed?

Ed stops. Grimaces. How do you not answer a nun?

ED

(Mumbles)

Uh—just had a question about a—.

The other ladies begin to hum “Be Not Afraid” as they wait

SISTER MARY

Yes?

ED

Shower. A—

SISTER MARY

Yes.

ED

Yes?

SISTER MARY

You should go.

The group continues as if they’d never missed a beat—

SISTER MARY AND THE WOMEN

Glory Be to the Father and to the Son…

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – HALL – CONTINUOUS

Ed shuts the door. Flummoxed.

Turns as Pat stalks down the hall with a tea pot she—

Shoves into Ed’s hands as she passes.

PAT

Wrap it first.

Rounds the corner.

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – DINING AREA – LATER

No lights yet, but the kitchen CLANKS harken the evening’s meal. Ed sits alone. The tea pot before him on a table as—

Wade and Judy, dressed (as always) to the nines spot Ed through a window. Enter the dining area—

JUDY

Dr. Cummings, please join us for dinner? We have a cab waiting.

WADE

Surely you’d prefer a meal out?

(And)

Besides, I really need to talk with you about my brother. He’s back in the hospital.

A friend in need…

ED

I’m sorry to hear.

Ed brightens—is this an excuse to skip the shower?

ED

You’re going out to dinner?

WADE

(Indicating Judy)

This beautiful woman has promised me a deviled egg! Come. You can advise in the car.

A brief hesitation—should he? Before—

Ed leaps up. Follows. Remembers. Goes Back to grab the tea pot before, hugging it, he rushes to catch up.

EXT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – FRONT ENTRY – CONTINUOUS

Lauren emerges from a staff door bearing a wedding-papered box she—

Puts in the trunk of the cab as suddenly a—

Van pulls up and the ladies from the chapel gallop out of the Garden’s Entrance, one pushing Sr. Mary and—

Pat bolts out, pushing Don. Everyone with wedding-papered gifts.

Lauren joins the others, smiles and waves at Ed as they hurry to and—

Giddy-up the steps of the bus.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Subtext Relationships:

What I learned: this felt hard to me, but to think about subtext interpersonally is useful…

Ed: Subtext Identity: Ed is a gifted psychiatrist who’s running from/hiding the fact (afraid to say and deal with the fact) that he hasn’t done his own intimacy-related psychological work and that he’s consequently embarrassed by sex-talk.

Don: Subtext identity: thinks he’s Ed’s best friend and that Ed is confused/a mess; he’s determined to help him get back into the game of life.

Pat: old biker-chick who’s always felt that academic types are condescending her, is chronically out to needle Ed, whom she’s both curious about and annoyed by.

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – DON’S ROOM – NIGHT

MEN, including Don, Ed and Wade at a table with Fantasy Football sheets. Eyes on a TV where the ball is fumbled.

GROANS. CHEERS. Armchair commentary as—

GAME ANNOUNCER

There’s Half-time!

A commercial starts. MAN 1 flips channels. Stops on “Love, Actually.” The end of the holiday party scene.

DON

Holiday season, I guess.

MAN 2

Actually It’s “Love, Actually.” A pretty good show—the ladies like.

Suddenly: Heike Makatsch’s apartment. Ed gets up. Almost literally covers his eyes as her striptease—

DON

I like!

Begins to reveal red undergarments—

MAN 1

Definitely a feel-good show!

Chairs scooch. Eyes un-cloud. Utterances of more activation and interest than there was for the game as—

Ed walks to the refrigerator. Opens it

ED

Got any milk, Don?

More skin on the screen.

WADE

Damn! Why haven’t I seen this?

Wade backs into the kitchen, eyes bungeed to the TV as he reaches by Ed. Pulls a beer to his chest like it’s a tit.

WADE

Long time since I saw red panties.

MAN 2

I still got some. From High School!

MEN

No!

MAN 2

My first love.

Ed turns redder than Heike’s panties. Pulls out a carton of buttermilk. That Wade frowns at.

WADE

(Re: the buttermilk)

That’s nasty!

Eyes dart to Ed who lifts the buttermilk in explanation. Jet back to Heike as something occurs to Don—

DON

Ed. We’ve never heard your wild oat stories? You got any souvenirs?

Ed opens a cupboard—no glasses. Another—same.

ED

Nope.

Ed drinks from the carton as Don looks at him—suspicious

DON

How about a story?

Ed chokes and everyone turns again—is he dying?

Besides, Heike’s scene’s done, so for the next juice—

ED

Uh. Nothing really to—

He coughs. More than necessary as Wade picks up the trail.

WADE

A rich, strapping physician. A psychiatrist nonetheless! Didn’t Freud’s say suppressed sex makes you paralyzed? Tell us something for the locker room, Ed!

The rest of the boys start cajoling as Ed reacts to loud pounding on the door (as we heard before)—not good.

As someone lets her in (a beer case on each hip)—

PAT

Sorry I’m late, boyz.

MAN 2

Perfect timing. Ed about to tell us his high school exploits.

Off Ed’s very sick face—

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s symbol: red panties (stand for Ed’s avoidance of sex/intimacy—and awakening)

What I learned: symbols are efficient!

Introduced:

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – DON’S ROOM – NIGHT

MEN, including Don, Ed and Wade at a table with Fantasy Football sheets. Eyes on a TV where the ball is fumbled.

GROANS. CHEERS. Armchair commentary as—

GAME ANNOUNCER

There’s Half-time!

A commercial starts. MAN 1 flips channels. Stops on “Love, Actually.” The end of the holiday party scene. (Note to self: re-watch and see what scene is just before Heike’s)

DON

Holiday season, I guess.

MAN 2

Actually It’s “Love, Actually.” A pretty good show—the ladies like.

Suddenly: Heike Makatsch’s apartment. Ed gets up. Almost literally covers his eyes as her striptease—

DON

I like!

Begins to reveal red undergarments—

MAN 1

Definitely a feel-good show!

Chairs scooch. Eyes un-cloud. Utterances of more activation and interest than there was for the game as—

Ed walks to the refrigerator. Opens it

ED

Got any milk, Don?

More skin on the screen.

WADE

Damn! Why haven’t I seen this?

Wade backs into the kitchen, eyes bungeed to the TV as he reaches by Ed. Pulls a beer to his chest like it’s a tit.

WADE

Long time since I saw red panties.

MAN 2

I still got some. From High School!

MEN

No!

MAN 2

My first love.

Ed turns redder than Heike’s panties. Pulls out a carton of buttermilk. That Wade frowns at.

WADE

(Re: the buttermilk)

That’s nasty!

Eyes dart to Ed who lifts the buttermilk in explanation. Jet back to Heike as something occurs to Don—

DON

Ed. We’ve never heard your wild oat stories. You got any souvenirs?

Ed opens a cupboard—no glasses. Another—same.

ED

Nope.

Ed drinks from the carton as Don looks at him—suspicious

DON

How about a story?

Ed chokes and everyone turns again—is he dying?

Besides, Heike’s scene’s done, so for the next juice—

ED

Uh. Nothing really to—

He coughs. More than necessary as Wade picks up the trail.

WADE

A rich, strapping physician. A psychiatrist nonetheless! Didn’t Freud’s say suppressed sex makes you paralyzed? Tell us something for the locker room, Ed!

The rest of the boys start cajoling as Ed reacts to loud pounding on the door (like we heard before)—not good.

As someone lets her in (a beer case on each hip)—

PAT

Sorry I’m late, boyz.

MAN 2

Perfect timing. Ed about to tell us his high school exploits.

Off Ed’s very sick face—

Further developed (also intro butterfly effect as a symbol for interconnectedness):

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – HALL – NIGHT

PAT

Come on, Ed. It’s a dance!

ED

I’m too tired to dance.

PAT

You can’t just go to bed! Someone in Brazil’ll get picked up by a tornado and dropped off a cliff!

ED

What?

PAT

The butterfly effect. If you don’t flap your arms, kick up your boots, some sucker’ll lose out on a lifetime of joy. It’s math, doc. Want that on your conscience?

ED

That’s not how it works.

PAT

Oh, how do you know? But here’s what I know—

(Sexy eyes)

There’s a little Mambo in your pants. I bet you wear red boxers!

ED

I’m going to bed.

Pinches his butt—

PAT

Oooh-la-la!

ED

You’re not attracted to me, Pat. I’m male.

PAT

Why’s everything that’s fun about sex with you shrinks? There’s more to joy than shafts and—

Ed cuts Pat off as a FAMILY rounds the corner.

ED

Time to stop for today!

A playful finger at Ed as Pat approaches/says to the KIDS—

PAT

Curmudgeon.

KIDS

(Race to jump around Ed)

Curmudgeon! Curmudgeon!

Then shows change:

EXT. CHURCH – CONTINUOUS

ED

I think I can find her.

EXT. PARK – CONTINUOUS

The church is on a hill. A path meanders down it to this park, occupied by: SCHOOL-AGE KIDS kicking a ball and—

A WOMAN IN HIJAB, with a BABY in front-carrier. Her SONS (4 and 7), play tag around a very tall dome climber as—

Grace, in gown, sits listless on a swing. Gusts of wind mess her updo as Ed descends the trail’s final feet and

Waves to the Kids as he crosses a lawn. Before he—

Stops near—but not too near—Grace.

ED

(Confessional tone)

It took me sixty-one years to figure out I was wrong. But at least you and I are now even.

(And)

If only you don’t blow it like me.

Grace stares at the ‘8’ she traces with a satin toe—

GRACE

You sound like Aunt Jewels.

ED

I took one of your dad’s hairs.

GRACE

(Looks up)

That’s just—weird.

But—the pain on Ed’s face. Grace backpedals—

GRACE

I’m sorry. If it makes you feel more connected to my grandma…

Grace watches the Woman’s OLDER SON climb the dome as—

Ed sits on a merry-go-ground, startled by how easy it moves. Plants his feet to stop it. Before–

He lifts them, again. Allows himself a tiny spin.

ED

You know they can leave you, even if you don’t..

(Voice catches)

…get married.

Grace looks at Ed.

GRACE

I know. Mike could fall off a cliff. Get hit by a drone. Believe me, I’ve thought of it all.

(Newly curious)

You think you and my grandma would have gotten married?

ED

We had the venue.

GRACE

NO! You hooked up three times!

ED

At my age you can’t dawdle.

GRACE

(Processes this)

What was the venue?

ED

The Chimacum Ferry.

GRACE

(Not what she expected)

Oh! Wow. Puget Sound is nice.

ED

Susan wanted an aircraft carrier but they don’t let you rent those.

Grace looks at Ed—are you serious?

ED

She loved planes. But to me it was metaphoric. She wanted to go places—and she kept others afloat.

Grace gets this. But…

ED

Even as a kid. She brought snacks to the poor kids. Clothes. Once she made me help this older boy with math. Johnny. Boy, was he slow.

…Grace frowns. Sparks in her brain—

GRACE

I thought you met Susan last year?

Finally, Ed’s opening. If only he’ll jump—

ED

Found her last year. She was my best friend growing up. My lifeline when my dad died. Then she moved—we were 15. She didn’t write or call. So, like an idiot, I wallowed in how everyone abandons me. And never considered what might be going on for her.

(Clears his throat)

Which—. Uh—

But the enormity of the commitment! Ed digs his toe into the sand. Spins the merry-go-round so that now he—

Sees the SMALLER SON, trying to climb after his brother.

Ed glances back at Grace. A nod to the boy.

ED

He’s scared. Is he old enough?

But Grace’s busy with mental math—not her gift—as suddenly her own child shrieks from behind her on the hill—

ADAM-EVE

Mom!

Grace leaps up—who died? As—

Ed toes the merry-go-round to better see: Adam-Eve and Kristian bounding down the path and…

ADAM-EVE

Everyone’s waiting! Come on!

…behind the kids: Jewels. Vestments fisted at her waist to reveal really lovely calves!

Ed spins back to the woman’s sons who are now very high! Can his heart take all this excitement? As, behind him—

Grace envelopes her kids. Mascara drizzling her face as…

GRACE

You are both so gorgeous!

…The Older Son drops upside down by his knees and—

The Mother hurries to her sons. Fully expects—

OLDER SON

(To his brother)

Come on! Like this!

Ed grabs a bar—concerned. Starts to stand, as behind him—

A school-age kid races. Lunges toward the merry-go-round.

SCHOOL AGE KID

(Already pushing)

Hey mister, can we ride too?

Ed’s tossed back onto his butt. Encompassed by JOYFUL SOUNDS, as the rest of the kids catch up. Push. Jump on the accelerating merry-go-round with BELL-LIKE CLANGS, as—

The Mother pleads with her Sons in another language and—

ADAM EVE

(Hollering)

Ed! Get my mom to her wedding!

And—A SHRIEK as the younger boy topples upside down, too, hung by his knees. Except—a twist and—

Just one knee holds! The Small Son’s WAILS as—

ANOTHER SCHOOL AGE KID

(Yells at Ed)

Isn’t this fun?

And the Mother’s CRIES. Arms flailing at her son as—

Jewels rushes in. Mounts the climber in dress shoes.

JEWELS

(To the Mother)

Don’t worry! I was a gymnast.

Jewels deftly climbs. Over her shoulder to a spinning Ed—

JEWELS

We’re twenty minutes late! Did you tell her?

Ed’s dizzy. Barely able to speak as Jewels moves toward the Small Son like it’s her life’s work—

ED

No. Not—

(To the kids)

Can you please let me off?

Jewels is nearly to the woman’s Small Son. Very high—

JEWELS

Oh for God’s sake!

Shocked, the Small Son stops wailing.

JEWELS

(To the Small Son)

Not you, honey. I’m talking to that man!

(Head-gestures)

Ed, would you please stop spinning?

Reassured, the Small Son screams again as Ed rolls, helpless, onto his back. With—

Jewels at the climber’s top. Legs spread, a gust of wind—

Ed’s rotating POV: hot, red panties and fabulous legs! Alternates with: a huge wedding crowd on the hilltop as—

Jewels (zero Marilyn Monroe coy) grabs the Son’s wrists and—

Ed, a teen under the bleachers gawks as he—

Makes eye contact with Jewels—a goofy, I-Totally-Surender Smile—as Jewels pulls the Son to safety on the bars. And—

Shakes her head at Ed—been offering all along but, if you want it—

JEWELS

Tell her. Now!

Jewels helps the Son down as Ed spins, transfixed—

Invigorated. Reborn. Emphatic, like the opening scene—

ED

Stop! I need to get off!

The kids leap off. Drag the ride to stop it. Ed sits.

Stands. Wobbles to Grace, who’s a puddle of stress.

ED

I need to walk you down the aisle.

GRACE

No, Ed. I get why you don’t want—

ED

(Interrupts)

Look, I have to explain something. I know it’s unusual, without—.

Everyone in the park watches—something big here.

ED

Actual—. I mean full—

(Looks at the kids. The woman in hijab)

But, medically, it can still—

Ed fumbles in his pocket. Pulls out the genetic results

ED

Look, I’m you’re grandfather.

Grace is stunned. But also not. Rivers of mascara, now as—

GRACE

(leaps to hug Ed)

I have a grandpa! I have a grandpa!

Except—

GRACE

Only now YOU’ll die!

ED

(Smiles)

I’m absolutely sure of it.

(And)

Do you somehow think your having me walk you down the aisle will facilitate my death

GRACE

Yes. Exactly.

ED

That’s nuts.

Ed watches Grace, the bubbles of laughter forming, billowing out of her joyfully, everywhere as she finally gets it.

GRACE

Nuts. That’s funny.

(Really laughing)

That’s hysterical. Nuts. It IS nuts!

Ed looks at Jewels, peacefully alive—thank you. Now up the hill to: Wade. Judy. Don. The Lindas. Pat as—

Grace, confused, follows Ed’s gaze to the hilltop where—

More people are waiting for her and Mike to get hitched than she ever could have invited! Suddenly she feels it—

GRACE

(Under her breath)

There’s always someone else waiting to be found—OhmyGod!

Grace squeezes her kids. Reaches, pulls in Ed. Jewels.

GRACE

You guys! My real live Grandpa is going to walk me down the aisle

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Subtext Characters

What I learned: going back and revisiting subtext ideas previously considered help solidify some ideas and generate more. I’m going to try to remember to go back and re-do Hal’s various assignments from time to time as projects develop…

ED

Subtext Logline: Ed is a never-married, retired psychiatrist with a lifetime of relating to others only within the psychiatrist-patient frame whose desire to die—so he can continue avoiding his personal psychological work—gets upended by the family of a son he unknowingly sired in junior high.

Subtext Identity: a psychiatrist who’s running from/hiding the fact that he hasn’t done his own psychological work, which would allow him to relate to others in a personally intimate way.

Traits:

• Responsible

• Avoidant-& restless as a consequence (changes): Subtext: afraid to say (even to himself) that he’s afraid that the feelings (guilt/loss) he has to let himself experience to grow (that have grown over time) are too much to endure. Scared of his feelings and hiding his guilt over having sex outside of marriage.

• Caring

• Connecting (collects/mixes diverse ideas & people)-his brilliance (extreme)

Possible Areas of Subtext:

Diverts/Avoids sharing all intimate details about his one and only (junior high) love, Susan, with NH friends and Susan’s family, but carries her pictures (covering guilt of the ‘near sex’ they had in junior high and real sex—outside of marriage—when they hooked back up a year ago)

Bothered by/changes subject when sexual comments/innuendoes, jokes made

(Pointing to the subtext): on his alter for Susan there are both teen and recent pictures, 2 parts of a teen’s best friend necklace. Also Ed’s dad’s advice: “keep what’s in the drawers in the drawers”

Consider developing, as another thing Freud missed: an “Ulterior motive-unconscious Drive (Ed’s sense of obligation) to have and hold a bigger/meaning of life – which gets Ed sucked into the family b/f he realizes the biological connection.

Overtly uncomfortable with Jewels’ sexuality, as he’s clearly aroused

Everything “church” makes Ed uncomfortable

Grace

Basic traits

• Hard-working

• Playful/creative/musical – like ED, can put things together you’d never expect

• Enthusiastic/positive/exuberant

• SUBTEXT: Terrified she has powers that she doesn’t. She does and does not do certain things to prevent bad things from happening, the most relevant for the screenplay being: she does not say “I do” to make her connection to Mike“real”—so that it does not disappear.

Character Logline: Grace is woman who (magical thinking) feels if she doesn’t formally commit she can prevent further abandonment– who must learn how to look outside of herself and see the infinite opportunity to love and be loved, so she can feel safe enough to marry her children’s father—the man of her dreams.

Subtext Identity: Grace is a woman who’s hiding a nutty (magical thinking) idea that if she says ‘I Do’ she’ll lose the man she needs.

Possible Areas of Subtext:

DOES things quickly (Works, from the “love and work” of Freud) to avoid feeling unlovable – and to unendingly show that she is worthy of Love, many of them tasks others wouldn’t do—also as part of her trauma-related, developmentally ‘stuck’ magical notion that by doing certain things she can prevent bad things from happening.

Verbally and in action discounts her value

Tolerates her mother’s unloving, selfish exploitation – until she’s shown how it hurts her brother and decides to act differently

Ignores her mother’s demeaning comments, thinking that if she counters them, bad things will happen

Scans the environment: Worries/looks for ev Mike will have an affair – looks for ‘signs’ because she believes he’ll eventually figure out she’s not lovable.

Is desperate for grandmother/grandfather love, since she never had this-or parental love that would have given her a sense that outside of herself is a Power for goodness.

Overestimates kindness/generosity in others and underestimates these in herself (hides the feeling from herself)

Christopher (Grace’s brother)

• Passive aggressive (changes) – subtext – he’s avoiding productively dealing with his anger

• Avoidant/shy-like Ed. But this makes him lethargic (changes): Subtext: afraid of his feelings (guilt/rage – afraid that he/others might get hurt if he has/expresses them directly) he has to go through to grow

• Caring

• Brilliant in computer science (extreme)

Character Logline: Christopher is a brilliant computer engineer who under-achieves to maintain some power in his relationship with his mother who, with Ed’s help (and concern for his sister), addresses his depression and starts seeing-and going after-the life he’s been missing

Subtext Identity: Chris is hiding (afraid to feel and express) his anger, so he directs his rage at himself and only passively/ineffectually at the mother who has hurt him.

Possible Areas of Subtext:

Underworking is a way to dig back at his mother

He’s sublimating his anger into his computer work. But only when he does it.

Bothered by/changes subject when sexual comments/innuendoes, jokes made but for different reasons than Ed – he isn’t getting any and wants it!

(Pointing to his subtext): even when the family can’t pay the mortgage he says he’s working as much as he’s contracted to. But he feels guilty

Has a picture of his grade-school sweetheart on his desk. ‘She didn’t mind I was a geek.’

Linda (Grace and Chris’ mother) – personification of the Villain (which is, more fully, everyone’s psychological defenses that keep them from living fully and connectedly)

Basic traits

• aggressive/assertive

• exploitive/manipulative

• brilliant/cunning – subtext

• self centered (extreme) lazy

Character Logline: Linda is a smart, strong, malignant narcissist with emotional empathy deficits who brilliantly manipulates everyone—but somehow has the grace to admit and respect it when she’s called on it.

Possible Areas of Subtext:

why would I want to work?

respects power b/c she knows is very good at wielding it herself

Can sell water to fish – MM job is a saleswoman?

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Subtext Scenes

What I learned: great screenplays are packed with deeper meaning. It’s really good practice to look for it, a lot…

The Matrix

Opening scenes of the Matrix have revealed that Trinity and the Agents to have super-human abilities—and that they are opponents with death and destruction of each other being their common goals. Here’s from the last of the scene where Trinity somehow disappeared from a phone booth immediately before it was smashed…

Barreling through the booth, bulldozing it into a brick wall, SMASHING it to PLEXIGLAS PULP.

After a moment, a black loafer steps down from the cab of the garbage truck. Agent Smith inspects the wreckage. There is no body. Trinity is gone.

11

His jaw sets as he grinds his molars Agent Jones and Brown walk up behind

in frustration. him.

She got out.

AGENT JONES

AGENT SMITH It doesn’t matter. There is a plan – meaning (Neo is a threat to the Matrix the Agents must annihilate) and particulars will come later.

AGENT BROWN The informant is real. A hint at what the plan involves (we later learn that Cypher is a Zion traitor, helping the Agents)

Agent Smith almost smiles.

AGENT SMITH

Yes.

AGENT JONES

We have the name of their next target.

AGENT BROWN The name is Neo.

The handset of the pay phone lays on the ground, separated in the crash like a severed limb. Subtext in this description hides the reality of all the particular violent actions this conflict will involve.

AGENT SMITH We’ll need a search running. Method of the Agent’s plot involves a search…we later learn these are computer programs.

AGENT JONES It’s already begun.

We are SUCKED TOWARDS the mouthpiece of the phone, CLOSER and CLOSER, until the smooth gray plastic spreads out like a horizon and the small holes widen until we FALL THROUGH one —

Swallowed by DARKNESS.

The DARKNESS CRACKLES with phosphorescent energy, the word “searching” blazing in around us as we EMERGE FROM a computer screen. Meaning of “the Search”—although the meaning is more deeply revealed throughout the script. Reason is this is how the Agents are fighting/controlling everyone – “Reality” is a deterministic computer program someone has written- the theme and title.

The screen flickers with windowing data as a search engine runs with a steady relentless rhythm.

We DRIFT BACK FROM the screen and INTO —

9.

12 INT. NEO’S APARTMENT 12

It is a studio apartment that seems overgrown with technology.

Weed-like cables coil everywhere, duct-taped into thickets that wind up and around the legs of several desks. Tabletops are filled with cannibalized equipment that lay open like an autopsied corpse.

At the center of this technological rat-nest is NEO, a man who knows more about living inside a computer than outside one. Neo’s character description is subtext, covering the deeper reality that he can function inside code to free Zion, as will be revealed over time.

He is asleep in computer screen “Wake up, Neo.” Subtext: Wake up to the reality of the Matrix (revealed when he chooses a pill). Reason is the theme.

Neo’s eye pries looking around, screen.

front of his PC. Behind him, the suddenly goes blank. A prompt appears:

open. He sits up, one eye still closed, unsure of where he is. He notices the

He types “CTRL X” but the letter “T” appears. NEO Someone knows his name. Reason: because they are recruiting him.

What…?

He hits another and an “H” appears. He keeps typing, pushing random functions and keys while the computer types out a message as though it had a mind of its own.

He stops and stares at the four words on the screen: “The Matrix has you.”

NEO What the hell?

He hits the “ESC” button. Another message appears: “Follow the white rabbit.” a nonsensical phrase that is actually directions, as we shall see…

He hits it again and the message repeats. He rubs his eyes but when he opens them, there is another message: “Knock, knock, Neo.”

Someone KNOCKS on his door and he almost jumps out of his chair. He looks back at the computer, but the screen is now blank.

Someone KNOCKS again. Neo rises, still unnerved. NEO

Who is it? It’s Choi.

CHOI (O.S)

(CONTINUED)

10.

12 CONTINUED: 12

Neo flips a series of locks and opens the door, leaving the chain on. A young Chinese MAN stands there with several of his friends.

NEO You’re two hours late.

CHOI (MAN) I know. It’s her fault.

NEO You got the money?

Two grand.

CHOI

He takes out an envelope and gives it to Neo through the cracked door.

Hold on.

NEO

He closes the door. On the floor near his bed is a book, Baudrillard’s Simulacra and Simulations. The book has been hollowed out and inside are several computer disks. He takes one, sticks the money in the book and drops it on the floor.

Opening the door, he hands the disk to Choi.

CHOI

Hallelujah! You are my Savior, covers the deeper reality that Neo is felt by this group to be the savior, the One.

man! My own personal Jesus Christ!

NEO

If you get caught using that —

CHOI

I know, I know. This never

happened. You don’t exist. NEO covers the deeper (theme) reality that in the Matrix, no one really exists, as we will later learn

Right…

Neo nods as the strange feeling of unrealness suddenly returns. As above

CHOI

Something wrong, man? You look a

little whiter than usual.

NEO

I don’t know… My computer…

(CONTINUED)

11.

12 CONTINUED: (2) 12

He looks back at Choi, unable to explain what just happened.

NEO

You ever have the feeling that

you’re not sure if you’re awake or still dreaming? As above.

CHOI

All the time. It’s called

mescaline and it is the only way to fly.

He smiles and slaps the hand of his nearest droog.

CHOI

It sounds to me like you need to

unplug, man. A little R&R. What do you think, Dujour, should we take him with us?

DUJOUR

Definitely.

NEO

I can’t.

Come on. promise.

I have to work tomorrow.

DUJOUR It’ll be fun. I

and suddenly notices on her black jacket dozens of pins: bands,

He looks up at her

leather motorcycle

symbols, slogans, military medals and —

A small white rabbit. The ROOM TILTS. The meaning of the instructions: “Follow the white rabbit” and for some reason he wants to/feels called to (we later learn this is because he has been investigating the idea of the Matrix out of a deep inner pull.

NEO

Yeah, yeah. Sure, I’ll go.

13 INT. APARTMENT 13

An older apartment; a series of halls connects a chain of small high-ceilinged rooms lined with heavy casements.

Smoke hangs like a veil, blurring the few lights there are.

Dressed predominately in black, people are everywhere, gathered in cliques around pieces of furniture like jungle cats around a tree.

(CONTINUED)

12.

13 CONTINUED: 13

Neo stands against a wall, alone, sipping from a bottle of beer, feeling completely out of place. He is about to leave when he notices a woman staring at him.

The woman is Trinity. She walks straight up to him.

In the nearest room, shadow-like figures grind against each other to the pneumatic beat of INDUSTRIAL MUSIC.

Hello, Neo. Someone else who knows his name because of a plan

TRINITY

NEO

How do you know that name?

TRINITY

I know a lot about you. I’ve been

wanting to meet you for some time.

NEO Who are you?

TRINITY My name is Trinity.

NEO

Trinity? The Trinity? The

Trinity that cracked the I.R.S. D-Base? We learn she is someone he has come across in his research. They’ve been studying each other.

TRINITY That was a long time ago.

TRINITY Most guys do.

Neo is a little embarrassed.

NEO

Do you want to go somewhere and

talk?

TRINITY

No. It’s safe here and I don’t

have much time.

NEO TRINITY NEO

Gee-zus.

What?

I just thought… you were a guy.

(CONTINUED)

13.

13 CONTINUED: (2) 13

The MUSIC is so LOUD they must stand very close, talking directly into each other’s ear.

She nods.

NEO

That was you on my computer?

NEO How did you do that?

TRINITY

Right now, all I can tell you, is

that you are in danger. I brought you here to warn you.

Of what?

NEO

TRINITY They’re watching you, Neo. The Agents are watching, we will later learn the deeper reason– because they are trying to defeat the resistance movement, Zion and Neo is someone Zion is trying to recruit—so Zion (Morpheus included) is watching him, too.

Who is?

NEO

TRINITY

Please. Just listen. I know why

you’re here, Neo. I know what you’ve been doing. I know why you hardly sleep, why you live alone and why, night after night, you sit at your computer. You’re looking for him. Meaning of why he followed revealed. The people of Zion get called to try to understand something

Her body is against his; her lips very close to his ear.

TRINITY

I know because I was once looking

for the same thing, but when he found me he told me I wasn’t really looking for him. I was looking for an answer.

There is a hypnotic quality to her voice and Neo feels the words, like a drug, seeping into him.

TRINITY

It’s the question that drives us,

the question that brought you here. You know the question just as I did.

NEO What is the Matrix? The question, what they are trying to understand gets named: the Matrix

(CONTINUED)

THE MATRIX – Rev. 3/22/98 13 CONTINUED: (3)

TRINITY

When I asked him, he said that no

one could ever be told the answer to that question. They have to see it to believe it.

She leans close, her lips almost touching his ear.

TRINITY

The answer is out there, Neo.

It’s looking for you and it will find you, if you want it to. This surface dialogue covers the subtext that Neo is called from within to be the One, if he decides to embrace this calling

14.

13

She turns and he watches her melt into the shifting wall of bodies.

A SOUND RISES steadily, growing out of the MUSIC, pressing in on Neo until it is all he can hear as we —

CUT TO:

14 INT. NEO’S APARTMENT 14

The sound is an ALARM CLOCK, slowly dragging Neo to consciousness. He strains to read the clock-face: 9:15􏰀A.M.

NEO Shitshitshit.

15 EXT. SKYSCRAPER 15

The downtown office of Meta CorTechs, a software development company.

16 INT. META CORTECHS OFFICE 16

The main offices are along each wall, the windows overlooking downtown. RHINEHEART, the ultimate company man, lectures Neo without looking at him, typing at his computer continuously.

Neo stares at two window cleaners on a scaffolding outside, dragging their rubber squeegees down the surface of the glass.

RHINEHEART

You have a problem with authority,

Mr. Anderson. You believe that you are special, that somehow the rules do not apply to you. Obviously, you are mistaken. Covers the Reality that Neo is not mistaken, he really will become the One.

(CONTINUED)

15.

16 CONTINUED: 16

His long, bony fingers resume clicking the keyboard.

RHINEHEART

This company is one of the top

software companies in the world because every single employee understands that they are a part of a whole. Thus, if an employee has a problem, the company has a problem.

He turns again.

RHINEHEART The time has come to make a

choice, Mr. Anderson. Either you choose to be at your desk on time from this day forth, or you choose to find yourself another job. Do I make myself clear? Covers the deeper Reality that Neo is going to have to choose to continue to remain ignorant—in the Matrix or leave it and try to figure out if he is the One, and then become the One.

NEO

Yes, Mr. Rhineheart. Perfectly

clear.

17 INT. NEO’S CUBICLE 17

The entire floor looks like a human honeycomb, with a labyrinth of cubicles structured around a core of elevators.

VOICE (O.S.) Thomas Anderson? Covers Morpheus’ plan here to get Neo to begin making his choice. This guy knows his non-screen name.

Neo turns and finds a FEDERAL EXPRESS GUY at his cubicle door.

NEO Yeah. That’s me.

Neo signs the electronic pad and the Fedex Guy hands him the softpak.

FEDEX GUY Have a nice day.

He opens the bag. Inside is a cellular PHONE. It seems the instant it is in his hand, it RINGS. Unnerved, he flips it open.

Hello?

NEO

(CONTINUED)

THE MATRIX – Rev. 3/9/98 17 CONTINUED:

MORPHEUS (V.O.) Hello, Neo. Do you know who this

is?

Neo’s knees give and he sinks into his chair.

NEO Morpheus… Neo knows Morpheus name, covers the bigger Reality of who Morpheus is.

MORPHEUS (V.O.) I’ve been looking for you, Neo. I

don’t know if you’re ready to see what I want to show you, but unfortunately, we have run out of time. They’re coming for you, Neo. And I’m not sure what they’re going to do. Covers that the Agents are about to arrest Neo

NEO Who’s coming for me?

MORPHEUS (V.O.) Stand up and see for yourself.

16.

Right now?

Yes. Now. Neo starts to stand.

NEO

MORPHEUS (V.O.)

MORPHEUS (V.O.) Do it slowly. The elevator.

His head peeks up over the partition. At the elevator, he sees Agent Smith, Agent Brown and Agent Jones leading a group of cops. A female employee turns and points out Neo’s cubicle.

Neo ducks.

Holy shit!

Yes.

NEO

MORPHEUS (V.O.)

One cop stays at the elevator, the others follow the Agents.

NEO

What the hell do they want with

me?!

(CONTINUED)

17

17 CONTINUED: (2)

MORPHEUS (V.O.) I’m not sure, but if you don’t

want to find out, you better get out of there.

17

How?!

NEO

MORPHEUS (V.O.)

I can guide you out, but you have

to do exactly what I say. Covers the bigger reality that Morpheus has ways of knowing things that are beyond the norm.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

What I learned: When I just do what Hal tells me, things actually start to come together..

Ed’s Traits

• Responsible

• Avoidant-restless as a consequence (changes): Subtext: to avoid his own pain/psychological work he’s vicariously lived through others his whole life, relating to people only as “the doctor” in a formal, psychiatric frame

• Caring

• Connecting (collects/mixes diverse ideas & people—extreme trait)

Character Logline: Ed is a never-married retired psychiatrist whose desire to die—so he can continue to not face feelings he’s forever avoided—gets upended by the chaotic, needy family of his deceased junior high first-and-only love, especially when he realizes they may be his biological family, too.

Grace’s Traits

• Hard-working

• Playful/creative/musical – like ED, can put things together you’d never expect

• Enthusiastic/positive/exuberant

• SUBTEXT: Terrified that if you make something “real” it will disappear.

Character Logline: Grace is woman who (magical thinking) feels if she doesn’t formally commit she can prevent further abandonment– who must learn to look outside of herself and see the infinite opportunity to love and be loved, so she can feel safe enough to marry her children’s father—the man of her dreams

Other relevant characters:

SUSAN: Ed’s junior high love he ‘hooked’ back up with a year ago, now deceased. The son Susan gave up for adoption is MARK (who died at the 2nd TP), Grace’s completely absentee father until right before the screenplay begins.

JEWELS: Grace’s great aunt. The wedding officiant. Ed’s potential love interest

MIKE: Grace’s beloved, long-time fiancé with whom she has two children, ADAM-EVE and KRISTIAN.

Relevant background to this CRISIS-CLIMAX SCENE:

For the 3rd time, Grace is fleeing from her wedding to Mike, the father of her children.

We’ve seen Ed take strands of Mark’s hair. Previously, Ed was furious with Grace for doing the same thing with Susan’s—which DNA-proved Susan was Grace’s grandmother.

Ed subsequently had a serious conversation with Jewels (MOS). And, much earlier, a silly one with the ‘boys’ at his retirement home about what it takes to get a girl pregnant.

We know Ed and Grace need each other desperately, but are both afraid of committing. We suspect Ed can help Grace finally take the risk getting married if he, himself will dive into the many relationships that are calling to him…

Prior to this scene, our impression is that Ed is entirely disinterested in Jewels, romantically and otherwise, although there are subtle reasons to suspect this was just part of his (psychiatric) frame…

EXT. CHURCH – CONTINUOUS

ED

I think I can find her.

EXT. PARK – CONTINUOUS

The church is on a hill. A path meanders down it to this park, occupied by: SCHOOL-AGE KIDS kicking a ball and—

A WOMAN IN HIJAB, with a BABY in front-carrier. Her SONS (4 and 7), play tag around a very tall dome climber as—

Grace, in gown, sits listless on a swing. Gusts of wind mess her updo as Ed descends the trail’s final feet and

Waves to the Kids as he crosses a lawn. Before he—

Stops near—but not too near—Grace.

ED

(Confessional tone)

It took me sixty-one years to figure out I was wrong. But at least you and I are now even.

(And)

If only you don’t blow it like me.

Grace stares at the ‘8’ she traces with a satin toe—

GRACE

You sound like Aunt Jewels.

ED

I took one of your dad’s hairs.

GRACE

(Looks up)

That’s just—weird.

But—the pain on Ed’s face. Grace backpedals—

GRACE

I’m sorry. If it makes you feel more connected to my grandma…

Grace watches the Woman’s OLDER SON climb the dome as—

Ed sits on a merry-go-ground, startled by how easy it moves. Plants his feet to stop it. Before–

He lifts them, again. Allows himself a tiny spin.

ED

You know they can leave you, even if you don’t..

(Voice catches)

…get married.

Grace looks at Ed.

GRACE

I know. Mike could fall off a cliff. Get hit by a drone. Believe me, I’ve thought of it all.

(Newly curious)

You think you and my grandma would have gotten married?

ED

We had the venue.

GRACE

NO! You hooked up three times!

ED

At my age you can’t dawdle.

GRACE

(Processes this)

What was the venue?

ED

The Chimacum Ferry.

GRACE

(Not what she expected)

Oh! Wow. Puget Sound is nice.

ED

Susan wanted an aircraft carrier but they don’t let you rent those.

Grace looks at Ed—are you serious?

ED

She loved planes. But to me it was metaphoric. She wanted to go places—and she kept others afloat.

Grace gets this. But…

ED

Even as a kid. She brought snacks to the poor kids. Clothes. Once she made me help this older boy with math. Johnny. Boy, was he slow.

…Grace frowns. Sparks in her brain—

GRACE

I thought you met Susan last year?

Finally, Ed’s opening. If only he’ll jump—

ED

Found her last year. She was my best friend growing up. My lifeline when my dad died. Then she moved—we were 15. She didn’t write or call. So, like an idiot, I wallowed in how everyone abandons me. And never considered what might be going on for her.

(Clears his throat)

Which—. Uh—

But the enormity of the commitment! Ed digs his toe into the sand. Spins the merry-go-round so that now he—

Sees the SMALLER SON, trying to climb after his brother.

Ed glances back at Grace. A nod to the boy.

ED

He’s scared. Is he old enough?

But Grace’s busy with mental math—not her gift—as suddenly her own child shrieks from behind her on the hill—

ADAM-EVE

Mom!

Grace leaps up—who died? As—

Ed toes the merry-go-round to better see: Adam-Eve and Kristian bounding down the path and…

ADAM-EVE

Everyone’s waiting! Come on!

…behind the kids: Jewels. Vestments fisted at her waist to reveal really lovely calves!

Ed spins back to the woman’s sons who are now very high! Can his heart take all this excitement? As, behind him—

Grace envelopes her kids. Mascara drizzling her face as…

GRACE

You are both so gorgeous!

…The Older Son drops upside down by his knees and—

The Mother hurries to her sons. Fully expects—

OLDER SON

(To his brother)

Come on! Like this!

Ed grabs a bar—concerned. Starts to stand, as behind him—

A school-age kid races. Lunges toward the merry-go-round.

SCHOOL AGE KID

(Already pushing)

Hey mister, can we ride too?

Ed’s tossed back onto his butt. Encompassed by JOYFUL SOUNDS, as the rest of the kids catch up. Push. Jump on the accelerating merry-go-round with BELL-LIKE CLANGS, as—

The Mother pleads with her Sons in another language and—

ADAM EVE

(Hollering)

Ed! Get my mom to her wedding!

And—A SHRIEK as the younger boy topples upside down, too, hung by his knees. Except—a twist and—

Just one knee holds! The Small Son’s WAILS as—

ANOTHER SCHOOL AGE KID

(Yells at Ed)

Isn’t this fun?

And the Mother’s CRIES. Arms flailing at her son as—

Jewels rushes in. Mounts the climber in dress shoes.

JEWELS

(To the Mother)

Don’t worry! I was a gymnast.

Jewels deftly climbs. Over her shoulder to a spinning Ed—

JEWELS

We’re twenty minutes late! Did you tell her?

Ed’s dizzy. Barely able to speak as Jewels moves toward the Small Son like it’s her life’s work—

ED

No. Not—

(To the kids)

Can you please let me off?

Jewels is nearly to the woman’s Small Son. Very high—

JEWELS

Oh for God’s sake!

Shocked, the Small Son stops wailing.

JEWELS

(To the Small Son)

Not you, honey. I’m talking to that man!

(Head-gestures)

Ed, would you please stop spinning?

Reassured, the Small Son screams again as Ed rolls, helpless, onto his back. With—

Jewels at the climber’s top. Legs spread, a gust of wind—

Ed’s rotating POV: hot, red panties and fabulous legs! Alternates with: a huge wedding crowd on the hilltop as—

Jewels (zero Marilyn Monroe coy) grabs the Son’s wrists and—

Ed, a teen under the bleachers gawks as he—

Makes eye contact with Jewels—a goofy, I-Totally-Surender Smile—as Jewels pulls the Son to safety on the bars. And—

Shakes her head at Ed—been offering all along but, if you want it—

JEWELS

Tell her. Now!

Jewels helps the Son down as Ed spins, transfixed—

Invigorated. Reborn. Emphatic, like the opening scene—

ED

Stop! I need to get off!

The kids leap off. Drag the ride to stop it. Ed sits.

Stands. Wobbles to Grace, who’s a puddle of stress.

ED

I need to walk you down the aisle.

GRACE

No, Ed. I get why you don’t want—

ED

(Interrupts)

Look, I have to explain something. I know it’s unusual, without—.

Everyone in the park watches—something big here.

ED

Actual—. I mean full—

(Looks at the kids. The woman in hijab)

But, medically, it can still—

Ed fumbles in his pocket. Pulls out the genetic results

ED

Look, I’m you’re grandfather.

Grace is stunned. But also not. Rivers of mascara, now as—

GRACE

(leaps to hug Ed)

I have a grandpa! I have a grandpa!

Except—

GRACE

Only now YOU’ll die!

ED

(Smiles)

I’m absolutely sure of it.

GRACE

Then—?

Ed looks at Jewels, peacefully alive—thank you. Now up the hill to: Wade. Judy. Don. The Lindas. Pat as—

Grace, confused, follows Ed’s gaze to the hilltop where—

More people are waiting for her and Mike to get hitched than she ever could have invited! Suddenly she feels it—

GRACE

(Under her breath)

There’s always someone else waiting to be found—OhmyGod!

Grace squeezes her kids. Reaches, pulls in Ed. Jewels.

GRACE

You guys! My real live Grandpa is going to walk me down the aisle!

• This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by  Elizabeth Koenig.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth Writing Bold

What I learned: Again, a simple idea. But when you apply it—it really helps.

INT. LINDA’S KITCHEN – EVENING

Grace tries to hand Ed a beer out of the fridge. He shakes his head—no thanks. She pulls out a coke.

ED

Thank you. That would be great.

LINDA

So let’s see this famous picture.

Ed pulls his wallet out, flips it open like it’s a rag—but the way he touches Susan’s picture—like Manna from Heaven.

Linda takes it. To Grace—

LINDA

You look more like him than this Susan woman. The hair. I’m not buying it.

GRACE

Science doesn’t lie.

LINDA

It just gets things wrong.

Grace shoots looks between Adam, working a Punnett Square at the table, and her mother—we sabotaging schoolwork?

LINDA

(Small backtrack)

Sometimes. A study shows one thing, and then another the opposite.

(And)

I’m just saying, how do you really know this guy’s family?

ED

I’m not family. Susan was.

Linda’s Eagle eyes, darts into his.

LINDA

But you’re the one who’s here.

Ed shifts. Why is he here?

ED

I—

Grace interrupts.

GRACE

Ed is here because it means something to me that he and and my grandmother were together. And it should mean something to you that it means something to me.

Whatever. Back to them all as she heads down the hall—

LINDA

Enjoy your coke. My Game of Thrones calls.

ED

I thought that was over? There a new season?

MIKE

She just watches the old ones. Over and over. It’s all that blood.

LINDA

I heard you!

MIKE

You always do.

Build more of: Linda’s damaging aggression (Linda as mean; Grace as vulnerable/hurt)

INT. LINDA’S KITCHEN – EVENING

Grace tries to hand Ed a beer out of the fridge. He shakes his head—no thanks. She pulls out a sparkling water.

ED

(Takes the water)

Thank you. This is great.

LINDA

So. Where’s this picture.

Ed pulls out his wallet. Flips it open like a rag—but the way he touches Susan’s picture—Manna from Heaven, before

Linda snatches the wallet from his hands. Slides her thumb up the woman’s face like she’s wiping a smudge. Frowns.

LINDA

(Hawk-eye on Grace)

You don’t look anything like her.

Linda’s glower zeros in on the birthmark on Ed’s cheek.

Now scrutinizes one a bit higher on Grace’s—

LINDA

But that face mole—. You actually look more like him.

Grace touches her birthmark—years of shame.

LINDA

(Re: Ed’s bald head)

And the hair.

GRACE

Mother. I am not going bald.

LINDA

All that hair in the shower?

MIKE

(Protective)

It’s her anemia and it’s being treated. Besides, male pattern baldness isn’t hereditary—or I’d be screwed.

Linda discards the wallet on the table like a tissue she’s blown her nose into.

LINDA

I’m not buying it. DNA test.

GRACE

Mother, science doesn’t lie.

LINDA

It just gets things wrong.

Grace shoots a look between Adam, working a Punnett Square at the table and her mother—are we sabotaging schoolwork?

A tiny backtrack as Linda picks up a cup of black coffee—

LINDA

Sometimes. A study shows one thing, then another the opposite.

(And)

I’m just saying, how can you be sure this guy’s family?

Quickly—

ED

I’m not family. Susan was.

Linda’s eyes spear Ed’s. Cold, slicing icicles.

LINDA

But you’re the one who’s here.

Ed shifts. Why, exactly is he—here?

ED

I—

GRACE

(Interrupts)

Ed’s here because it means a lot to me that he and and my grandmother were together. And it should mean something to you—that it means a lot to me.

Linda is—whatever. Turns. Heads down the hall—

LINDA

Enjoy the mineral water I was going to have with my Game of Thrones.

ED

Oh. Sorry!

Still trying, as Grace and Mike shake their heads—ignore her—

ED

Did they make a new season?

MIKE

She watches old tapes. Same blood, over and over.

Something with this resonates for Linda.

LINDA

(Sing-song, not offended)

I heard you!

MIKE

You always do.

(Under his breath)

It just never makes any difference.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Anticipation Scene

What I learned: there are many ways to create a sense of anticipation

A Promising Woman

Cassandra has gone to the bachelor party of Al, the man who instigated a gang-rape of her childhood best friend, prompting the friend’s suicide. After a many years of acting out, exacting a form of revenge on men who attempt to take advantage of similarly conscious-impaired women, Cassandra is recently in possession of a video tape of her friend’s rape, has ended a romantic relationship (after learning he witnessed the event), and is presumably out for revenge on Al, maybe others.

CASSANDRA (CONT’D) Time to go upstairs. What’s she going to do

AL MONROE I don’t think…

CASSANDRA (whisper)

Look, I won’t do anything if you don’t want to, but I only get paid if I go upstairs with you.

OK.

AL MONROE

CASSANDRA zips her dress back up, takes him by the hand and triumphantly leads him up the stairs, the guys go crazy.

JOE

I wanna see her crawling out of here we want to see them crawling out

in the morning, Al!! She’d better not be able to walk!!

CHIP

Leave some for us, man!!!

INT. CABIN HOUSE – BEDROOM – NIGHT

A peeling bedroom. Plaid, old mouldering boar heads, and a needlepoint sign which reads “Yeeeh Haw!” above the bed. We can hear the music thumping from downstairs.

AL MONROE So. What do I…

CASSANDRA Get on the bed.

117

AL MONROE

Ok.

(jokey)

I’m a little scared of you. We know he should be

CASSANDRA

You don’t need to be scared. Get on

the bed. She lies, so what’s this mean…

AL does. She gets some pink, fluffy handcuffs out of her nurse’s bag.

AL MONROE

Wait. Sorry. I’m not sure about

this.

CASSANDRA It’s for my safety.

AL MONROE What do you mean?

CASSANDRA

When I give private dances…guys

can get a little handsy so…

AL MONROE Oh. Right. Of course.

He lets her put on the handcuffs. He’s vulnerable. What’s she going to do?

AL MONROE (CONT’D)

You know…you don’t have to…I’m a

gentleman.

Are you? Yeah.

CASSANDRA AL MONROE CASSANDRA

You might be surprised to hear that gentlemen are sometimes the worst.

She finishes cuffing him.

AL MONROE

Ow. Can you loosen them a little?

CASSANDRA You’ll get used to it. She doesn’t have any empathy here. What’s the furthest she would go?

118

Beat.

AL MONROE

Look. I don’t want to sound like a

pussy but…you’re not going to…do anything, are you? It’s just, I love my fiancee. We’re getting married so…I don’t want any…um…

CASSANDRA (kind) so is she going to rape him?

Hey. Do I look like someone who would make you do something you don’t want to do?

No.

Exactly.

What’s your name?

AL MONROE CASSANDRA AL MONROE

CASSANDRA

Candy.

I mean. Your real name.

CASSANDRA Nina. Nina Fisher.

AL MONROE

AL looks like a ghost just walked into the room. She’s standing at the foot of his bed, staring coldly down at him.

AL MONROE What did you say?

CASSANDRA

I said my name is Nina Fisher.

AL starts to struggle against the cuffs.

AL MONROE

Can you let me out of these, please?

CASSANDRA I’m sorry I can’t.

119

Beat.

AL MONROE

Did one of the guys put you up to

this? Was it Joe? Jesus Christ this is dark, even for him.

CASSANDRA I don’t follow.

AL MONROE

You are not Nina Fisher.

CASSANDRA

Why not? Because…she’s dead.

CASSANDRA

Must be another Nina Fisher. A

coincidence. Sadistic. How far would she take this

AL MONROE

I don’t think so. Please let me go.

This isn’t funny.

CASSANDRA

Why would I give you a dead girl’s

AL MONROE

name?

AL MONROE is panicking.

AL MONROE

This is fucked up, ok? Stop it.

CASSANDRA

But, I’m not doing anything.

AL MONROE (shouting)

GUYS! JOE! BRANDON! CHIP! GUYS! CAN YOU GET UP HERE!

The music is throbbing. If guys come to rescue him, what happens to her?

CASSANDRA

I don’t think they can hear you. And

even if you could shout out loud…

What?

AL MONROE

120

CASSANDRA

They’re all passed out by now.

AL MONROE is really scared now.

CASSANDRA (CONT’D)

Because if there is one thing that I

learned at Forrest College, it is how easy it is to slip something into a drink. You’d think they’d remember that. Especially Joe! Ohhhhh, no one is coming to help. He’s the one at risk

AL MONROE Do I know you?

CASSANDRA

I’m not sure you’d remember me, Al.

You were so popular. It dawns on him.

AL MONROE

You’re Nina’s friend. Oh fuck.

You’re Nina’s friend.

CASSANDRA

So you DID notice me after all. I’m

surprised. I wasn’t super-fuckable at college so, I thought I kind of slipped your attention.

AL MONROE

What do you want? Money? Are you

blackmailing me? You can have anything.

CASSANDRA

No, I don’t need money. I just want

a conversation.

AL MONROE Anything you want, ok?

CASSANDRA

I want you to tell me what you did.

AL MONROE

Are you talking about…?

CASSANDRA

What do you think I’m talking about?

AL MONROE

I didn’t do anything! We were kids!

121

CASSANDRA

If I hear that ONE MORE TIME.

CASSANDRA is really, really angry. It’s all coming apart now. AL MONROE

I was affected too, you know? It’s

every guy’s worst nightmare, getting accused like that. We fear that Cassandra could do something extreme. Her mental state…and his not owning up is making things worse

CASSANDRA

Can you guess what every girl’s

worst nightmare is? AL’s lip wobbles.

CASSANDRA (CONT’D) The thing is, you thought you’d

gotten away with it because everyone had forgotten. But I haven’t.

She opens her PVC nurse’s bag. In it are all of her surgical instruments from college. Is her plan to cut him? How badly?He’s really panicking now.

AL MONROE

You’re out of your fucking mind!

CASSANDRA

I was so sad to leave, you know. I’d

wanted to be a doctor my whole life. (beat)

But lately, I’ve been feeling like I might want to get back into it.

She picks up a scalpel.

AL MONROE Stop! Please!

She sits on the bed.

CASSANDRA

You know. Nina was extraordinary. So

smart. Weirdly smart. He struggles.

AL MONROE Help! Help me! Fuck!

125

CASSANDRA

Shhh. I want you to know what she

was like, ok? But she’s so difficult to explain because she was just so completely herself. Even when she was four years old. She was fully formed from day one. Same face. Same walk. And funny like a grown up was funny. Kind of, shrewd. Perceptive. So smart.

CASSIE is absent-mindedly holding onto her BFF necklace, with “Nina” written on it.

CASSANDRA (CONT’D)

I was just in awe of her. I couldn’t

believe she wanted to be my friend! She didn’t give a fuck what anyone else thought, except for me. Because she was just…Nina.

(beat)

And then she wasn’t. Suddenly, she was something else, she was yours. It wasn’t her name she heard when she was walking around, it was yours. Your name all over her. All around her. All the time. And it just…squeezed her out.

(beat)

So when I heard your name again. Your filthy fucking name. I wondered when was the last time someone had said hers. Or thought it even. Apart from me.

(beat)

And it made me so sad. Because, Al, you should be the one with her name all over you.

half-heart

No.

AL MONROE

CASSANDRA

Don’t worry. I’ve sterilized

everything. I really would have been a great doctor.

AL MONROE You’re insane.his voicing this—we think she might be

CASSANDRA

You know what? I honestly don’t

think I am.

126

CASSANDRA unbuttons his shirt slowly.

CASSANDRA (CONT’D)

I’ll do this as quick as I can, ok?

She’s about to cut him, when-

BAM!- He breaks a hand free from a handcuff and grabs her by the throat. CASSANDRA is caught off-guard.okay now it’s a fight.

He turns her onto the bed, to get both hands around her throat. She struggles. He’s choking her.

AL MONROE

You asked for this. You fucking

asked for this. This is your…fault.

CASSANDRA is looking at him. She can’t breathe.

She somehow slips out of his grasp. There’s a struggle, with AL’s hand tied to the bed they’re evenly matched, she manages to get her hand free again and she raises the scalpel.

It looks like she might win when, at the last second, AL catches her arm and twists it. The scalpel falls to the ground. Hope/fear

He wrestles her back down onto the bed. One arm on her neck, pushing down. He starts to cry.

AL MONROE (CONT’D) This is your fault…

He can’t look at her. He grabs a pillow puts it over her face.

He climbs onto her head, kneeling on the pillow, smothering her with his knees. The one hand still handcuffed to the bed. It’s clumsy. It is going on for much too long. It feels like forever as she struggles underneath him. Every second we’re waiting for her to turn things around.

She tries to fight back, her hands scrabbling over him. She scratches his neck, but she’s running out of air. Her face hidden. AL is really sobbing now, kneeling on top of her.

Finally, after a long time, her body goes limp. Her arm falls, lifeless, to the ground. He’s killed her. Will he get away with this too?

AL stays on top of her. Crying. He climbs off tentatively.

127

We wait for the Fatal Attraction moment when she springs back to life. It never comes.

INT. CABIN – BEDROOM – MORNING

We are in the exact same place at the night before. A shaft of light on the bed from above. AL is still on the bed, one hand still handcuffed to a post. He’s been up all night, unable to get out of it: his wrist is bleeding. A scratch mark has come up on his neck.

CASSANDRA’s face is still under the pillow, her body in the same position. AL is shivering, crying. We hear footsteps in the hallway.

A bluebottle bats against the window.

We are on CASSIE’S hand, her perfect manicure, hanging off the bed, the scalpel a few inches away on the floor. When JOE barges in.

JOE what’s Joe going to do

Oh man, what a night!!

He stops. Takes in the “sleeping” body and the handcuffs. Starts giggling.

JOE (CONT’D)

Oh my god!! Is that the fucking

nurse? Are you kidding me? Nooooice!

Beat.

JOE

Don’t freak out! Come on. Anastasia

will never know. Okay? What happens on tour, stays on tour.

AL MONROE She’s dead, Joe.

Joe-

AL MONROE

JOE looks at him, then laughs.

Beat.

JOE Come on.

AL MONROE I’m not kidding.

128

JOE

Ohhh. Fuuuck. You’re being ironic. AL MONROE (desperate)

What?

JOE

Killing a stripper at your bachelor

party? What is this the 90s? Classic.

(beat)

You want me to get her outta here so you can sleep? Her money’s downstairs, although I’m not sure we gave her a big enough tip now I see what’s been going on here!

He walks over, and shakes her shoulder.

JOE (CONT’D) Time to go, babe.

No response. JOE pulls the pillow up. AL looks away, squeamish. CASSANDRA’s face is still hidden. It takes JOE a few seconds. He replaces the pillow.

SHIT!

JOE (CONT’D)

AL MONROE I told you!

JOE

SHIT! Oh my god. Oh my god. The

fucking stripper is dead! YOU KILLED THE STRIPPER! How did this happen?

AL starts to cry again. Blubbering like a child.

AL MONROE I don’t know!

JOE goes around to comfort him. This is the beginning of every bro comedy where a guy accidentally kills/hits/hurts a sex worker. We’ve seen this trope before. Guys hurting women. Guys covering for their friends. We are familiar with this scene.

JOE

Hey man. This is not your fault ok?

AL MONROE (sniffing)

I don’t know…it kinda seems like it is…

130

JOE No, it’s not!

AL MONROE (crying)

Am I…am I going to jail? What about the wedding? What about my job? Anastasia is going to be so upset. No one will understand…

JOE

It was an accident though, right?

I mean-

AL MONROE

JOE (firm)

It was an accident, Al.

AL MONROE

Yeah. Of course. I mean, of course

it was! JOE thinks. The’ll try to make it look like an accident?

JOE

Listen to me. No one is going to

jail ok? Because no one is going to know about this. If anyone asks, we all saw her leave last night. She stripped and she left.

AL MONROE (faint)

She left…

JOE

Exactly. We’ll take care of it. We

just need to hide the body til the others go.

AL nods gratefully.

JOE (CONT’D) Al, hey, look at me.

AL looks at JOE.

This is not your fault.

JOE (CONT’D)

131

AL MONROE (whisper)

Thank you. EXT. WOODS – DAY

“Something Wonderful” from The King And I plays over the next few scenes.

A thick plume of black smoke rises above the trees. They’re going to try to cover their tracks. Will it work?

EXT. WOODS – DAY

Everyone else has gone home. In the twilight of the JOE holds onto a crying AL.

They are standing in front of a bonfire. JOE throws blue wig. AL can’t look. He’s too sad. JOE comforts nudges CASSANDRA’s hand back onto the fire with his

EXT. WOODS – DAY

woods,

on the him. JOE foot.

The fire is dying out. JOE throws CASSANDRA’s car keys into the embers. He gently leads AL away. Poor AL is feeling very sorry for himself.

BLACK.

INT. CASSANDRA’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY

Two cops, LINCOLN, a kindly, seasoned detective and TODD, his smart, young partner, are interviewing a terrified SUSAN and STANLEY.

SUSAN

Can’t you track her phone or

something?

LINCOLN

I’m sorry, ma’am. It was turned off

before she left. Seems like she really didn’t want anyone to know where she was.

SUSAN

It’s not like her to

just…disappear like this. Are the cops going to figure this out?

132

STANLEY

Well, honey, that’s not entirely-

SUSAN (stern)

Stanley. SUSAN starts to cry.

SUSAN (CONT’D)

She was getting better. She was

getting better, wasn’t she? STANLEY comforts her.

STANLEY Cops might conclude she ran away and/or suicided

Of course she was. She’ll come back.

You know what she’s like. She always comes back.

The cops look at STANLEY. They can see from his face he doesn’t believe this.

TODD

Was she seeing anyone? Did she have

a boyfriend?

INT. BATHORY HOSPITAL – RYAN’S OFFICE – DAY

RYAN is working when he hears a knock on the door. It’s LINCOLN.

LINCOLN Are you Dr. Cooper?

RYAN Yeah.

LINCOLN flashes his badge.

LINCOLN Detective Walker.

RYAN tries to stay calm. Has CASSIE sent the video?

RYAN Sure, come in.

We can feel that LINCOLN is impressed by Ryan.

LINCOLN Pediatric surgeon, huh?

133

RYAN Yeah.

LINCOLN

That’s very commendable. Thank you

for all that you do for the community.

RYAN is a little wrong-footed.

Beat.

RYAN Sure.

LINCOLN

Sorry to bother you at work, doctor.

Do you know a Cassandra Thomas?

RYAN (wary)

Yeah. Yes. Why?

LINCOLN How do you know her? RYAN

We were seeing each other.

LINCOLN

‘Were’ seeing each other?

RYAN

Yeah. We…we broke up a few days

ago.

LINCOLN Define a few days.

RYAN

Um. Last Thursday.

LINCOLN

Have you had any contact since?

RYAN

No. I’m sorry, what is this

regarding?

LINCOLN

Cassandra’s parents have filed a

missing persons report. This is a surprise.

Beat.

RYAN What? Why?

LINCOLN Because she’s missing.

RYAN is reeling. This doesn’t make sense.

RYAN Since when?

LINCOLN Since Friday.

RYAN

Jesus. Why didn’t anyone tell me?

LINCOLN

You said you were no longer her

boyfriend.

135

RYAN I’m not but…

LINCOLN

She told her parents something about

a work trip, but her colleague didn’t know anything about it. Do you have any idea where she might have been going to this weekend?

I-

RYAN

He stops. If he’s honest he could be hugely compromised. They could find the video.

What he’s about to say is terrible.

Beat.

RYAN (CONT’D)

Yeah she…said she was going on a

work trip.

LINCOLN Any idea where?

RYAN No. I’m sorry. Ryan lies. Will he get away with this?

LINCOLN

It’s alright, doc. Between you and

me, it sounded like she wasn’t feeling so good. Mentally, I mean. Her father seemed to think she was… a little unstable.

RYAN

Yeah. She was…not in a good place.

LINCOLN

You think she might have…

LINCOLN (CONT’D) Wanted to hurt herself?

Beat.

This is the get out RYAN needs. He’s happy to believe it too. It’ll absolve him. He can be the good guy again.

136

RYAN (relief)

Yeah. Yeah, I guess. She could have. More fear the cops will conclude she’s suicided

LINCOLN

I thought that might be the case.

Thank you for your honesty. (beat)

Well. I don’t want to bother you anymore, but if you wouldn’t mind coming to the station tomorrow, you know, for an official statement.

RYAN (earnest)

Of course. Anything I can do to help.

TODD

Thank you for your time, doctor.

Appreciate it.

LINCOLN leaves. RYAN watches him go. He’s gotten away with it, but it doesn’t feel good.

EXT. LAWN – DAY

A beautiful day. A beautiful “artisan” woodland wedding. AL gazes at his beautiful wife. We can just see a band aid on his neck above his collar.

He and ANASTASIA exchange vows to a ukulele version of “You’re Still The One” by Shania Twain. As AL takes the ring from his best man, JOE, JOE winks at him. AL tries not to flinch.

We weave in and out as AL kisses his bride. As they run down the aisle to cheering. Have their photos taken. As the gorgeous guests mill around drinking champagne and laughing.

Among it, but apart from it, is RYAN. Trying to look like he’s enjoying himself. JOE approaches him.

JOE

Do you see that bridesmaid?

He nods over.

JOE (CONT’D)

She trained with the Circe Du

Soleil. You can come on her face and her back at the same time.

137

RYAN That’s nice.can Ryan move on?

JOE grins and runs over to the bridesmaid. RYAN sighs. Then- His phone goes. It’s a message, he looks at the screen. CASSIE.

Holy shit. He looks around, furtively reads the text. “Scheduled Message from CASSANDRA THOMAS pending”. What’s this?

What?

“No Regrets” by The Walker Brothers begins to play.

MONTAGE:

INT. JORDAN’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

MONTAGE: Jordan opens a package. Inside is MADISON’s blackberry.

He reads the letter that accompanies it. We catch a couple of sentences. “In the event of my disappearance…Friday May

22nd…Alexander Monroe’s bachelor party…cabin….Cassie”.

He frowns as he reads, becoming increasingly troubled. He picks up his phone, and dials.

INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY

MONTAGE: GAIL finds another letter in the cash register, addressed to her. It’s the other half of the BFF necklace, this one says “CASSIE”. She looks in the envelope. No letter. Cassie has a backup plan

EXT. WOODS – DAY

MONTAGE: Police, with dogs, search the woods, they come across the pile of ashes from the bonfire. Shouting, activity. There’s nothing left. Except for the other half of the necklace, burnt out but still readable in the ashes: “Nina”. Cassie is going to “win” in this world of aggression with her own version of it

BACK TO:

CUT TO:

138

EXT. LAWN – DAY – MOMENTS LATER

“No Regrets” still playing, RYAN opens the scheduled text.

“Lucky I got insurance!”

He looks up, sirens are coming into the drive. A line of police cars. The beautiful guests all turn to look, confused.

Series of shots:

AL MONROE looks over at JOE, both of them in a huge panic. They didn’t get away with it.

ANASTASIA looks at her husband: what’s going on?

AL’S FATHER arguing with the police as they walk into the wedding.

AL being put into handcuffs. He’s already crying. His bride sobbing into her father’s shoulder.

JOE discreetly slips away.

All the guests looking on horrified.

RYAN’s phone beeps again amidst all the chaos. He looks down at it, dazed.

From CASSIE:

“Enjoy the wedding! ;)”

THE END

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Uncertainty Scene

What I learned: not only can you have multiple fears/hopes in a scene, you can have them in a single line of dialogue!

The Shawshank Redemption

Near the end of the movie, Red is facing the parole board yet again. Red’s friend Andy has escaped with cash, and gotten their nemesis Hadley arrested. His friend Brooks was unable to make the transition to living outside prison, and committed suicide. We’re sitting with hope that Red will be released, that he will successfully transition and find Andy—and fear that any of these things might not happen

274 AN IRON-BARRED DOOR 274

slides open with an enormous CLANG. A stark room beyond.

CAMERA PUSHES through. SIX MEN AND ONE WOMAN sit at a long

table. An empty chair faces them. We are again in:

Hope he’ll finally be released. Fear he won’t

INT — SHAWSHANK HEARINGS ROOM — DAY (1967)

Red enters, sits. 20 years older than when we first saw him.

MAN #1

Your file says you’ve served forty

years of a life sentence. You feel

you’ve been rehabilitated?

Red doesn’t answer. Just stares off. Seconds tick by. The

parole board exchanges glances. Somebody clears his throat.

Fear he won’t answer—or be released

MAN #1

Shall I repeat the question?

RED

I heard you. Rehabilitated. Let’s

see now. You know, come to think of

it, I have no idea what that means.

MAN #2

Well, it means you’re ready to

rejoin society as a–

RED

I know what you think it means. Me,

I think it’s a made-up word, a poli-

tician’s word. A word so young fellas

like you can wear a suit and tie and

have a job. What do you really want

to know? Am I sorry for what I did?

MAN #2

Well…are you?

RED

Not a day goes by I don’t feel

regret, and not because I’m in here

or because you think I should. I

look back on myself the way I

was…stupid kid who did that

terrible crime…wish I could talk

sense to him. Tell him how things

are. But I can’t. That kid’s long

gone, this old man is all that’s

left, and I have to live with that.

(beat)

“Rehabilitated?” That’s a bullshit

word, so you just go on ahead and

stamp that form there, sonny, and

stop wasting my damn time. Truth

is, I don’t give a shit.

Hope: he’s finally expressed remorse (arc complete). Fear his words and attitude will keep him in.

The parole board just stares. Red sits drumming his fingers.

CLOSEUP — PAROLE FORM

A big rubber stamp SLAMS down — and lifts away to reveal the

word “APPROVED” in red ink. RELIEF (hope he’ll enjoy his freedom)

275 EXT — SHAWSHANK PRISON — DAY 275

TWO SHORT SIREN BLASTS herald the opening of the main gate. It

swings hugely open, revealing Red standing in his cheap suit,

carrying a cheap bag, wearing a cheap hat. He walks out, still

looking stunned. Fear he’s too lost to enjoy himself, or even function

276 INT — BUS — DAY 276

Red rides the bus, clutching the seat before him, gripped by

terror of speed and motion. Fear, as above

277 EXT — BREWSTER HOTEL — LATE AFTERNOON 277

Red arrives at the Brewster, three stories high and even less

to look at than it used to be. Fear that so much has changed—for the worse

27B INT — BREWSTER — LATE DAY 278

A BLACK WOMAN leads Red up the stairs toward the top floor.

279 INT — RED’S ROOM — LATE DAY 279

Small, old, dingy. An arched window with a view of Congress

Street. Traffic noise floats up. Red enters and pauses,

staring up at the ceiling beam. Carved into the wood are the

words: “Brooks Hatlen was here.” Fear Red won’t be able to cope either—and will commit suicide. Fear that he can’t be happy in these dingy circumstances

280 INT — FOODWAY MARKET — DAY 280

Loud. Jangling with PEOPLE and NOISE. We find Red bagging

groceries. Registers are humming, kids are shrieking. Red

calls to the STORE MANAGER:

Hope—he has a job!

RED

Sir? Restroom break sir?

MANAGER

(motions him over)

You don’t need to ask me every

time you go take a piss. Just go.

Understand?

Fear he doesn’t quite fit/get it. Also hope re: how free he is

28l INT — EMPLOYEE RESTROOM — DAY 281

Red steps to the urinal, stares at himself in the wall mirror.

RED (V.O.)

Thirty years I’ve been asking

permission to piss. I can’t squeeze

a drop without say-so.

A strange east Indian guitar-whine begins. The Beatles. George

Harrison’s “Within You Without You…” fear: the people he is living withotu

282 EXT — STREET — DAY 282

…which carries through as Red walks. People and traffic. He

keeps looking at the women. An alien species. The new people he doesn’t know how to connect to.

RED (V.O.)

Women, too, that’s the other thing.

I forgot they were half the human

race. There’s women everywhere,

every shape and size. I find myself

semi-hard most of the time, cursing

myself for a dirty old man. Fear he feels ashamed (might suicide) a tiny bit of fear—might he do something wrong?

TWO YOUNG WOMEN stroll by in cut-offs and t-shirts.

RED (V.O.)

Not a brassiere to be seen, nipples

poking out at the world. Jeezus,

pleeze-us. Back in my day, a woman

out in public like that would have

been arrested and given a sanity

hearing. Fear the world has changed too much for him

283 EXT — PARK — DUSK 283

Red finds the park filled with HIPPIES. Hanging out.

Happening. Here’s the source of the music: a radio. A HIPPIE

GIRL gyrates to the Beatles, stoned, in her own world.

RED (V.O.)

They’re calling this the Summer of

Love. Summer of Loonies, you ask me.

284 INT — PAROLE OFFICE — DAY 284

Red sits across from his PAROLE OFFICER. The P.O. is filling

out his report.

P.O.

You staying out of the bars, Red?

RED

Yes sir. That I am.

P.O.

How you doing otherwise? Adjusting

okay?

RED

Things got different out here.

P.O.

Tell me about it. Young punks

protesting the war. You imagine?

Even my own kid. Oughtta bust his

fuckin’ skull.

RED

Guess the world moved on.

Fear he’s feeling left out (suicide)

285 INT — FOODWAY — DAY 285

Bagging groceries. CHILDREN underfoot. One points a toy gun at

Red, pumping the trigger. Red focuses on the gun, listening to

it CLICKETY-CLACK. Sparky wheel grinding.

The kids get swept off by MOM. Red starts bagging the next

customer. SLOW PUSH IN on Red. Surrounded by MOTION and NOISE.

Feeling like the eye of a hurricane. People everywhere,

whipping around him like a gale. Strange. Loud. Dizzying. It

gets distorted and weird, slow and thick, pressing in on him

from all sides. The noise level intensifies. The hollering of

children deepens and distends into LOW EERIE HOWLS.

He’s in the grip of a major anxiety attack. Tries to shake

himself out of it. Can’t. Fumbles the final items into the

bag. Walks away. Trying not to panic. Trying not to run.

He makes his way through the store. Blinking sweat. He bumps

into a lady’s cart, mumbles an apology, keeps going. Breaks

into a trot. Down the aisle, cut to the left, through the door

into the back rooms, faster and faster, running now, slamming

through a door marked “Employees Only” into – fear: he’s not doing well

286 INT — EMPLOYEE RESTROOM — DAY 286

— where he slams the door and leans heavily against it,

shutting everything out, breathing heavily. Alone now.

He goes to the sink, splashes his face, tries to calm down.

He can still hear them out there. They won’t go away. He

glances around the restroom. Small. Not small enough.

He enters a stall. Locks the door. Puts the toilet lid down

and sits on the john. Better. He can actually reach out and

touch the walls now. They’re close. Safe. Almost small enough.

He draws his feet up so he can’t be seen if somebody walks in. Hope-he’s feeling a bit better

He’ll just sit here for a while. Until he calms down.

287 EXT — STREET — DUSK 287

Red is walking home.

RED (V.O.)

There is a harsh truth to face.

No way I’m gonna make it on the

outside. Fear: he’s said he can’t make it

He pauses at a pawnshop window. An array of handguns. More fear: he’s looking at guns. Thinking about breaking parole

RED (V.O.)

All I do anymore is think of ways

to break my parole.

The SHOPKEEPER appears at the glass, locking the door and

flipping the sign: CLOSED. Hope: too late to get one

288 INT — RED’S ROOM — NIGHT 288

Red lies smoking in bed. Unable to sleep.

RED (V.O.)

Terrible thing, to live in fear.

Brooks Hatlen knew it. Knew it all

too well. All I want is to be back

where things make sense. Where I

won’t have to be afraid all the time. Fear is terrible. Too much?

He glances up at the ceiling beam. “Brooks Hatlen was here.” Fear of suicide peaks

RED (V.O.)

Only one thing stops me. A promise

I made to Andy.

Hope- he’s a loyal guy and he’s made an oath.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Extreme Emotions

What I learned: the visual-then internal emotion is a great technique!

Ed’s traits

• Responsible

• Avoidant-restless as a consequence (changes): Subtext: to avoid his own pain/psychological work he’s vicariously lived through others his whole life, relating to people only as “the doctor.”

• Caring

• Connecting (collects/mixes diverse ideas & people)-his brilliance (extreme)

Character Logline: Ed is a never-married retired psychiatrist whose desire to die so he can continue to not face feelings he’s forever avoided gets upended by the chaotic, needy family of his deceased Junior High first-and-only love, especially when he realizes they may be his biological family, too

Jewels’ traits:

• Joyful/bubbly

• Grateful (extreme)

• Compassionate

• Simple smarts/heart-smarts

Earlier subtext (not so much by now): she finds Ed annoying but quite attractive.

INT. LINDA’S KITCHEN – NIGHT

Ed waits. Claustrophobia woven into his face by this—

Sweatshop-meets hoarder’s haven of boxes, fabric bolts. A sewing form in bridesmaid dress that blocks the hall as—

Jewels materializes. Grips both side-frames of Ed’s only way out—her patience blown.

JEWELS

What is your goal, here, Ed? Why are you here?

Like he’s the lid of a kettle over too much steam as he—

Steps back—into a corner.

ED

I’m just trying to tuck everyone in, Jewels.

JEWELS

(Squints)

What?

Ed cradles his head in his hands—how to explain?

ED

It’s a residency phrase. Your goal when you’re On-Call.

Jewels waits. Trying to thaw a permafrost with a candle.

ED

(Finally)

You have to get your patients medically stable. Pain and anxiety controlled so they sleep. Then maybe you’ll be able to get a little sleep, too.

Jewels exhales through billowing lips—mind-blowing.

JEWELS

So, every day of your life you’ve been trying to get to sleep?

ED

Well, not as a kid.

Jewel’s stares—her candle is more like a blowtorch.

ED

A little kid at least.

(A final wiggle)

And in outpatient practice it’s not a day-and-night thing. You have to ‘tuck’ your patients until their next visit. It could be weeks.

JEWELS

We are not your patients, Ed.

Ed crosses his arms. Ace-bandaging the humiliation.

ED

I know.

JEWELS

The people at your retirement home aren’t either. They’re friends.

ED

Of course. True.

(Working to feel it)

You’re exactly right.

JEWELS

So this is repetition compulsion?

Ed looks at a week’s worth of dishes in the sink. Can’t help but chuckle—nailed by a minister with his own hammer.

ED

Same-ol, same ol. They teach you this in Divinity School?

JEWELS

Psychology.com

Ed shakes his head like he’s trying to cast out a ring. Only it isn’t tinnitus. It’s more like sleigh bells.

And now it’s a growing a belly-laugh.

ED

(A true laugh)

You’re good.

JEWELS

I am good. I am daaa-ng good.

Ed looks at Jewels—a twinkle of life in his eyes we have never seen and Jewels’ eyes with the warmth of the sun—

JEWELS

(Genuine as it comes)

Welcome to the family, Ed.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Vivid Visual Description

What I learned—thinking in terms of metaphor, exaggeration, comparison, active verbs and concrete nouns immediately improves my work.

Day 7 vivid visual descriptions: from 17 Again (not the most poetic screenplay, but…):

A few cars scatter the parking lot. WE hear GRUNTS followed by the distinct sound of basketballs shredding net; Mike’s hair, a pompadour mullet a la `21 Jump Street’ and short shorts circa 1989.DOM, 17, handsome, tall, long rat tail, scoffs;Gym doors burst open; The Falcons swarm to the bench; if you keep showing up places dressed like the Cookie Crisp guy; We hear nothing but see Mike’s body deflate; The sound of an alarm clock shatters the silence; Who’s lucky? Mike O’Donnell. Mike yanks his tie straight up as if he were hanging himself; ACUPUNCTURE NEEDLES protrude from every inch of his body, neck and face…at least 5000 needles.He pours himself a shot of BROWN LIQUID from a pitcher, throws the shot back and immediately SPITS it all over the place.What’s this brown stuff again? ACUPUNCTURIST Rhinoceros urine. Pure protein; Negativity’s for the 800 pound fat lady who needs to be airlifted out of bed; A glum look on his face; Mike slumps back into his seat. Wendy springs up out of hers, SCREAMING and BOUNCING.My legs just went numb; Smiling faces, happy couples…little pills; A glum look on his face. WENDY, bubbly, ditsy; Ed mid howl from Dom’s wedgy.ALEX, 15, messy hair and slight, and MAGGIE, 17 and awkwardly pretty; some smarmy twerp- boss calling you bro-ski.; Why are you destroying the yard?wobbles away; brandishing an over-sized loofah

Adam-Eve fusses over the lovely gown Grace is wearing, making it lay just right. Linda wrestles with Grace’s up-do.

Adam-Eve zips her mother into her Could-Be-A-Pronovias—a perfect pasting!

Linda brawls with Grace’s hair.

LINDA

Your curls have always been the death of me.

LINDA

Damn silk pit bulls have been biting me since you were.

She rearranges a bobby pin

Spears one with a bobby pin

Linda slips, silent into the shadows of her bedroom—

Linda slips into her bedroom like she’s dropping into Sheol—

An expression we’ve never seen on Christopher’s face.

Christopher’s face: His pilot light has been relit.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Twists

What I learned: maybe twists can sometimes be just a more extreme, unexpected version of what’s happening?

Ed: Responsible, caring, connecting- his extreme trait (of ideas/people); Avoidant-restless as a consequence (changes): Subtext here: Ed’s being driven over the edge

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – GYM – DAY

Ed, red-faced clearly blowing off steam, bench presses as—

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – HALL- SAME

The Eligible Women from before—plus a FEW MORE—peek through the window.

NEW ELIGIBLE WOMAN #1

Why are we watching from out here?

ELIGIBLE WOMAN #2

Shhhh. These walls are paper thin.

As she flings open the door-

NEW ELIGIBLE WOMAN #3

Why do we care?

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – GYM – CONTINUOUS

Led by the new women, the gawkers enter. Begin “using” various equipment as they continue to admire and flirt.

ELIGIBLE WOMAN #2

(Barely pedaling a bike)

Hello Ed

Ed exhales as he strains—nearing his limit as—

Several women crowd in to read the weight of Ed’s plates.

ELIGIBLE WOMAN #3

Oooh! You’re strong!

Ed closes his eyes. More reps than he should without a break. But it’s not to impress.

ELIGIBLE WOMAN #4

Have you pushed the weights up all your life?

Absolutely nothing about this isn’t a struggle—

ED

Uh. No. I don’t know.

(And)

Look, ladies. I need to concentrate or I’ll hurt—

Ed’s right arm falters.

Several women gasp as—

Ed recovers. Sets the bar in it’s rack.

ED

Myself.

Ed glances mournfully at the elliptical he’d use next. That a FRAIL WOMAN unsteadily mounts. As one pedal—

Drops, Ed and Other Women rush to steady her.

ED

(Helps the woman off)

Okay, okay. Maybe the bike.

FRAIL WOMAN

Nah. I’ll just do the mats. Marge says we don’t have to exercise.

ED

Does she.

Ed looks sharply at Marge, who shrugs. As others titter and smile.

Ed glances at the now-free elliptical. Rubs his head.

ED

Maybe I should order up some popcorn and beer?

Sounds of delight.

FRAIL WOMAN

Oh, yes, please!

But how badly he needs this workout—Ed steps onto the elliptical as the door flings open—

GRACE

(Theatrical projection as she enters)

Oh, there you are!

(Exuberantly to the Women)

Alice! Marge! Hello to you, dear Ellen. I can’t wait to hear about those decoration ideas!

Right on Grace’s heels is—

PAT

Told ya. He hides out.

(To Ed)

Well don’t stop on account of us, you old fart.

ED

(Can’t help it)

Oh my God.

Ed pushes past Pat. Out the door. A multitude of animated wedding conversations erupt as everyone follows Ed—

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – HALL -CONTINUOUS

Down the hall—

No trouble keeping Ed’s rapid pace—

GRACE

I need to ask you about a problem. Maybe we could go back to your apartment?

Tight, on Ed’s other side—

PAT

I’ll get that battery you promised.

The frail woman, clearly smitten, gets an encouraging push from behind. Grabs Grace’s arm as Ed’s accelerates.

FRAIL WOMAN

Let’s do beer and popcorn in your room!

PAT

Paaaarrr-TAY!

The rest of the woman enthusiastically agree as Ed—

Abruptly throws his body against a door that leads into—

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – POOL

Walks determinedly to the deep end of the pool and—

Jumps in.

Sinks. Work-out clothes billowing around him like halos as he settles, crossed-legged at the bottom. Buddha peace.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

What I learned: a crucible intensifies the emotions

Elizabeth’s Kitchen crucible

GRACE: Basic traits: Hard-working; playful/creative/musical; positive/enthusiastic; SUBTEXT: works too hard so people won’t leave her (changes)

Mike: loves simply; salesman – can sell water to a fish (if he’s sober); Fun; Impulsive/addictive (changes – modulated) SUBTEXT: good at learning and changing, if he’s given direction.

Christopher: subtext: avoids feelings-like Ed, which makes him lethargic (changes); Caring; Brilliant in computer science; passive-aggressive

INT. LINDA’S KITCHEN

Dishes in the sink. Appliances smothered in Adam’s sewing.

GRACE

(Desperate – to Mike)

How can I make dinner in here?

MIKE

(Thinking)

Well. We agreed to not shut down his creative impulses—

Mike lifts a fabric piece, that’s becoming a lovely suit—

MIKE

(Proud and jazzed)

And it’s for our wedding!

Only, it strikes her like lightening—

GRACE

(Livid)

How can YOU make dinner in here?

Mike’s momentarily confused, before he remembers—

MIKE

OH. Yeah. Disrespectful that you do all the cooking. I’m sorry, Grace—

Except, this belated acknowledgement of years of inequity—Grace starts to wail. Before, suddenly, she-

Hucks a dirty pan across the room. CRASH!

MIKE

(Dodging noodles from last night’s dinner)

Jesus!

Now it’s a potholder. An apple, as Grace’s shrieks. A growing wave of fury—

GRACE

I hunt! I gather! I cook! I clean!

A spoon hits a chair. An opener smacks the fridge.

GRACE

I do everything! Why is it all me?

A fork. Anything Grace finds that won’t shatter and make her life yet worse. As—

Linda, enters, gets smacked by an orange peel.

LINDA

What the—

More realized rage as Grace faces her mother—

GRACE

How are YOU going to make dinner in here?

Linda is deeply perplexed. Retreats to the doorframe —

LINDA

You’re the one who makes dinner.

GRACE

I do. I DO. And why IS that?

Linda looks at Mike. She’s never thought about it either.

LINDA

Because you like to?

Grace, mid-apple windup. Wants to nail her mother. But—

GRACE

Jesus!

Sends it splattering the basement doorframe, before

Christopher emerges, apple in his hair.

CHRISTOPHER

What’s—?

MIKE

(Calmly. Echos Ed)

An expressive moment.

Which sends Grace into the stratosphere—

GRACE

Expressive? You haven’t seen anything yet!

Grace raises an entire dish rack of clean glasswear as—

Adam and Kristian appear in the remaining doorframe. You can practically hear everyone’s sweat before—

Grace surprisingly’s totally defused. Slides to the floor. Arms cradling the rack, like it holds the world’s children. Keeping it entirely safe as—

Her enormous sobs bring Mike to his knees beside her—

MIKE

It’s okay, it’s okay

And, Adam and Kristian at the same time—

ADAM AND KRISTIAN

Mom! It’s okay.

And, as Linda, slips, silent into the shadows of her bedroom—

An expression we’ve never seen on Christopher’s face. Like his pilot light has suddenly been relit.

CHRISTOPHER

(Grabs keys off the counter.)

I’m done.

Looks at Grace—

CHRISTOPHER

We’re done, sister.

Ruffles the kids’ heads as Christopher walks past and we—

Hear the front door open. Shut.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Settings That Add Drama

What I learned: to keep my Pro-Series lectures handy. Great prompting questions elevate…

BEFORE:

1. Setting: dilapidated church

Essence of Scene: Grace and Mike finally get hitched

AFTER:

Wedding in graveyard adjoining dilapidated church

How has this improved: Playing on many levels: Ed, who practically lived at Susan’s grave in Act 1 learns to bring deceased-Susan into his living life. Grace-who’s terrified Mike will leave her if she marries him gets comfortable with the ultimate way he might do this so she can marry him anyway. Also, Grace always wanted a big wedding, but has a small, troubled family. When flooding in the church forced them outside, neighbors who had been curiously watching get invited by Ed and Jewels to help set up and join for the ceremony. Now It’s a full “house” of the living, young and old (nursing home friends) and young and old deceased.

BEFORE:

2. Setting: Climax – Church park swings

Essence of Scene- Grace realizes she can and should enjoy the people she has now and deal with the future when it comes.

AFTER: Park near the church

How has this improved: Grace’s greatest fear is being alone when her feelings feel overwhelming. If she and Ed are alone talking —and then the wedding guests (with retirement home friends center stage) all emerge at the top of a hill like in Witness, Ed’s line about “you can always find new friends” has more visual impact—especially since Ed previously kept a distance from his new nursing home friends and now is more connected to them. It’s also a de-sensitizing moment: Grace has visualized being very alone – and then survived it which can parallel the following desensitizing moment for Ed. Ed’s greatest fear is that when he lets himself play, bad things happen. If he gets jettisoned off a swirling play structure and not only survives but belly laughs as he hasn’t in years, he’s in a more playful space when Pat and Jewels tell him to play the music next scene.

BEFORE:

3. Setting: Linda’s house

Essence of Scene- Set up for the reveal that Ed feels guilty about having had sex before marriage and that he might be Mark’s dad from ‘heavy petting.’

AFTER: Strip show for Mike’s bachelor party

How has this improved: way more room to see Ed’s discomfort with sex and more entertaining. Could drop in lines about petting as set up.

BEFORE:

4. Setting: weight room, second time

Essence of Scene – second ritual workout for Ed in which we see more overt avoidance of eligible women, and Grace also pursuing Ed no matter where he goes, trying to develop a relationship

AFTER: Have Ed run from the women in the work out room to the Pool

How has this improved: visual variety. Also, as Grace keeps talking and talking, Ed can dive in the pool and find peace submerged. Others dive in to rescue him when he stays down so long.

BEFORE:

5. Don ‘s Room

Essence of Scene: Don encourages Ed to go to Grace’s wedding shower

AFTER: Have Ed and Don start this convo in the dining room and evade some eligible women by retreating to the roof.

How has this improved: not sold on this but playing with the “moving up” motif and it adds movement and variety. Could have Don offer some spiked punch from the dining room, playing off Mike’s laced weed. And the wedding-related Hangover

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Dramatic Conflict

What I learned. I’ve known conflict is key. But focusing on stretching it out in a scene, running both internal and external tension is helpful…

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – HALL -NIGHT

Grace, antsy, envelope in hand, pounds on Ed’s door. Pounds again.

ED (O.S.)

(Zero patience, yells)

I told you I’m busy!

INT. ED’S APARTMENT – OFFICE – SAME

For the first time, we see Ed sitting at his computer, staring at his blank document. Pressing his temples as—

Another long, loud knock finally motivates him to—

Push up from his chair like he’s 101. And—

Shuffle to the door.

ED

(Before opening)

Hello Grace.

GRACE (O.S.)

How’d you know it was me?

ED

Pat doesn’t pound as long.

Ed cracks the door. Keeps the chain on.

ED

I can’t talk today. I have to work.

GRACE

I know, but I wanted to invite you to my bridal shower.

Reads Ed’s expression through the crack—

GRACE

It’s co-ed.

ED

I’ll be out of town. I’m sorry.

GRACE

You don’t even know when it is!

ED

I’m out of town every day.

GRACE

Renton’s a suburb, Ed. It’s 15 minutes away.

With growing concern, Ed opens the door.

ED

How do you know I go to Renton?

GRACE

Pat told me. And Judy. And Wade. It’s where Susan’s grave is.

So, Grace has talked to them all?

ED

I see.

(Sighs)

Grace. You and Mike are a lovely couple. And you do look a little bit like Susan, but—

GRACE

We’re practically identical.

ED

Well. Susan and I—

GRACE

(Interrupts)

I know! Only got together 18 months ago.

Ed’s brow furrows. What else does she know?

ED

How—?

(Thinks better of it)

Look, I have a book deadline. And bridal showers are not in my nature. But best of luck.

As Ed starts to close the door, Grace pushes it back open.

GRACE

You don’t have to bring a present.

A beat and—suddenly Grace is in tears and—

Hurrying past Ed into his living room! Ed reluctantly follows.

GRACE

Please. I just need some advice.

ED

Remember? I never did marriage therapy.

GRACE

(Simultaneous with Ed)

…marriage therapy.

(And)

I know.

(Sits on Ed’s couch)

Still, what you say really helps.

Ed closes his eyes. Grace starts to sob. Ed clasps his head. Helpless. Until— an idea.

Ed goes to a shelf. Pulls out an LP.

Grace looks up.

Ed turns on a 1970’s phonograph. Slips the LP out of the cover. Sets it a-spin and—

Amidst crackles, suddenly we hear THE HORNS at the start of Arethra Franklin’s “Respect”

GRACE

(Brighter)

Oooh. Who IS that? I’ve heard—

The beat! She can’t help but groove a bit.

GRACE

Wait don’t tell me. That’s—. Arethra—. Aretha Franken! Franklin. Aretha Franklin.

Ed can only shake his head.

GRACE

(Sings along)

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Now says to Ed—

GRACE

So we need more respect.

ED

I was thinking more, the line—

(Like he wants to sing it—but somehow can’t)

Find out what it means to me.

Grace is really feeling the music, now, as she tries to understand what Ed’s saying.

GRACE

What it means. What respect means?

ED

Yes. To you.

Something dawns on her. We have no idea what

GRACE

Ooooooohhhh!

(And)

OhMyGod Thank you!

Grace grabs Ed’s face. Gives him a kiss. And—

GRACE

You are amazing!

Hands Ed the envelope. Before she—

Dances to the door like the musical thespian she is. Ed, following. Bewildered.

GRACE

(All better now)

Shower’s tomorrow night. My dad’ll to there! Don says you can skip the poker game, so see you then!

Grace, literally, twirls out the door.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Dramatic Irony

What I learned: this is super fun—and makes things so much more interesting!

Ed: Responsible, Avoidant/restless as a result, caring, connecting. Subtext is avoidant. Here he learns that his teen (and again very recent) love (Susan)’s son Mark was totally estranged from his daughter, Grace until a few weeks ago. He ALSO learns that Mark is much older than he thought—and realizes he may be Mark’s father.

INT. HOSPITAL – MARK’S ROOM – DAY

Mark in a bed surrounded by Grace, Adam-Eve, Linda and Ed.

AirPlay on the TV: a shoot-em video game that Mike plays on his iPad. Kristian watches.

CARDIAC ALARM SOUNDS and a nurse, then code team rush in.

A RESIDENT starts compressions. Others ready the defibrillator, etc. as—

HEAD NURSE arrives.

HEAD NURSE

Stop. He’s DNR.

Complete confusion. Compressions stop.

CODE MEMBER 1

What? He’s 60!

CODE MEMBER 2

60? He looks 45.

CODE MEMBER 2 nods at Resident to restart. He does.

As she knocks Resident’s hands off Mark’s chest—

HEAD NURSE

He’s DNR! I got it myself. Pancreatic cancer. Doesn’t want chemo, surgery, Cyberknife—or pain. Psych’s seen him – he’s competent.

Code member 2 looks at Linda, who shrugs. Looks at Mike—

CODE MEMBER 2

That—right?

MIKE

Can’t say. Just met him.

Code member 1 looks at Grace.

GRACE

Me too. Three weeks ago.

Ed’s totally confused.

ED

He’s your dad!

LINDA

He’s a sperm donor.

A beat as Ed processes. Then, to the team—

ED

Look, I’m a physician. Can we compress while we talk?

Head nurse grudgingly acquiesces. Compressions restart.

ED

May I see the psych note?

Head nurse opens the psych note on the room’s computer.

Ed reads.

Professional demeanor to everyone, as, inside he roils like he hasn’t since he was 11—

ED

She’s right. He’s competent. And has a DNR.

Everyone processes. The compressions stop. Code team gathers equipment, slips out. Mark looks very serene as—

Ed is stunned.

Mike pulls a tearful Grace into a hug—

MIKE

Who knew. Wow. At least he looks happy.

LINDA

Bastard.

GRACE

He was nice. I mean, the few hours he was around.

(And)

Why didn’t he tell us?

Adam-Eve and Kristian pick up with the video game as—

Ed chews on something bothersome—

ED

He was 60?

(To Linda)

How old are you?

LINDA

49. I know—cradle robbing bastard.

(Grabs the iPad from Adam-Eve)

I need something to shoot.

Growing distress on Ed’s face as he does the math..

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Dramatic Choices

What I learned: God, this is why I love the movie, Argo. When you look carefully, each scene: every piece of dialogue, setting, interpersonal dynamics, film angles, music—every LITTLE detail is tension-building and set-up or payoff.

Argo

Film Synopsis:

On Nov. 4, 1979, militants storm the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran, taking 66 American hostages. Amid the chaos, six Americans manage to slip away and find refuge with the Canadian ambassador. Knowing that it’s just a matter of time before the refugees are found and likely executed, the U.S. government calls on extractor Tony Mendez (Ben Affleck) to rescue them. Mendez’s plan is to pose as a Hollywood producer scouting locations in Iran and train the refugees to act as his “film” crew

Picking up after Tony has first formulated his Hollywood extraction idea…

· Tony Mendez takes off in an airplane—the journey begins

· Arrives in Department of State, passes sculpture that looks a bit distressed.

· Title: office of the secretary of state Jan 25, 1980, illustrating a lot of this is historical fact adds to the power

· Tony WAITS in waiting room as a secretary loudly, gratingly types. Gets hand gestured in by grave looking older suited man with similar companion. Tony gets warned by his own companion to “brace” himself – like talking to “the two old fucks in the muppets” sets up to expect resistance/failure

· Tony tells the incredulous old guys there’s a movie company funded by CIA—argues for the Movie Plan over “teachers” plan. Framed that there are “only bad options” and “there’s no better bad idea than this” sets up to expect the worst

· Science Fiction movie gets sanctioned by the US government by a guy who doesn’t look like he expects it to work

· A walk alone at twilight suggests contemplation/worry. Passes Yellow ribbons—America is depending on him.

· Takes off his ring. Sets it by picture of his kid—stakes include him dying and leaving these loved ones. We feel the gravity of all of these stakes with the help of weighted/melancholic music

· Music not upbeat, driving as he drives at night in the rain to another airport. Sighs as he’s reminded by partner that if he’s detained the agency will not claim him (as both look straight ahead, minimizing intimacy). Stakes now include, possibly, life/death at the hands of the Iranian extremists, with no hope for help. Discus his ‘in case of’s” No books ( in case he’s inprisoned) necessary because “they’ll kill you long before…”

· Ringing phone – John Chambers at Studio 6 answers Tony’s call: Green light. sets up: “keep the office running” – for later not answering of the phone. Also the “Argo go fuck yourself” running gag

· Ringing phone – Tony’s home. No one to answer. Sad music as Tony hangs up. There’ll be no verbal goodby. Writes Happy Birthday card to his son (buddy) Love you BOTH. Stakes .Boards plane which

· Takes off to Iranian music. He’s heading into a dangerous, foreign world

· Ayatollah Khomeini mural on building, foreboding eyes/face

· Cut to same on TV as Joe translates the Ayatollah’s words about martyrdom then

· Connects shares brief words with wife, Kathy intimate moment. she leaves and Joe confesses to Lee that his wife wanted them to leave early. Ends with “I think we’re going to die here”

· See out window guy get shot.

· Super: Istambul, haunting local music. Tony emerges from tunnel-like structure to see imposing religious building where he meets with informant who quotes old document that “Iran is not in a pre-revolutionary state.” Tony says “you can’t be right all of the time” begging the question of if he’s right now. Talk about his informant’s experience getting the shaw out/torture/things getting worse. Tony receives what he needs to get into Iran and we learn that he won’t have the carbon copy to get back out. If they look (set up for final airport scene—fear drama). If they look it will say he didn’t come into the country with 6 people. Instructed to get on record for having applied for a film permit. “If they catch you later, at least they’ll be confused while they torture you.”

· (In blinding light) we see Tony head in to Super: Iranian Consulate – Turkey

· Waits under a picture of the Ayatollah – looks at it

· Tony’s POV: at authority who asks his purpose of visit to Iran. Tony explains the film, gets asked why he didn’t get his visa in Canada. Got the telex from boss late. Authority looks skeptical as Tony lights up. Gets his stamp

· CIA: ticking clock: Iran knows 6 escaped, who they are and that they are hiding out with the Canadians. Set up: somebody with one of the families talked (future drama re: staff – are they trustable fear). You better get down. And get the hell out.

· Back to the stamp being filled out—Disembarkation card by—Tony drinking presumably ETOH (set up for final moment of relief) on plane

· Plane in Iranian airspace (set up) landing

· Hopeless, flat faces, concern for people in airport. Burkas, large pictures of the Ayatollah. Guards Tony surreptitiously takes more Disembarkation cards. Presents passport.

· Official compares him with picture as loud, jarring altercation occurs between passenger who is dragged off by official (foreshadow/stakes) woman protests as passport is accepted. Girl cries. Tony looks a bit shaken

· Landmarks, honking traffic, trucks full of standing men with guns, signs in Persian and Arabic: this is ominous Iran.

· Worse: man in suit hanging from a crane. Could be Tony

· Taxi leaves Tony. Now he sits across desk from official. This film crew is just yourself? No we have 6 more from Canada meeting us today. Want to film the Bazaar, maybe the palace. Landmark sites. Meets with mild aggression re: the West’s sense of superiority: the exotic snake charmers, flying carpets. Learns that before the revolution, 40% theaters showing ‘pornographic,’ the function of this office is purification as well as promotion for the arts. Says he’ll review

· Outside Studio 6: Lester is “working late” “till the dawn’s early light” foreshadowing. “I. Wouldn’t’ want to be you.” Quick look at the phone he’s waiting for – portends the later missed call

· Tony meets Ken, Canadian ambassador hiding the 6. Who was “expecting more of a G-Man look” (casts doubt on Tony’s ability). Ken Gives Tony the “blank” passports. Tony says he’ll take care of them – take a day. “And then you’ll fly out with them?” (Ken anxious for this). Gets warned that they think their housekeeper has figured out who they are (recollecting the ticking clock from earlier scene at headquarters). We don’t know if we can trust her so sooner is better. Are we scared, or what?

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Character Intro scene:

What I learned: a brilliant idea to keep a character sheet nearby while writing an intro. Wish I’d learned years ago~

Ed – 78 (primary protagonist of ensemble):

Basic traits

• Responsible

• Avoidant-& restless as a consequence—the trait that changes and carries subtext: Ed’s afraid to say (even to himself) that he’s afraid his feelings (guilt/loss/anger), ballooned over time, are too much to endure. He’s also hiding guilt about sex outside of marriage.

• Caring

• Connecting (collects/mixes diverse ideas/ people)-his brilliance (extremely unique trait)

Character Logline: Ed is a never-married retired psychiatrist whose desire to die—so he can continue to not face feelings he’s forever avoided—gets upended by the chaotic, needy family of his deceased (Junior High first-and-only) love, with whom he’d recently reconnected—especially when he realizes they may be his biological family, too.

Possible Areas of Subtext:

*Diverts/Avoids sharing all intimate details about Susan with retirement home friends, then Susan’s family— but carries Susan’s pictures everywhere (these behaviors cover his guilt over sex and feelings of loss/lost opportunity) <div>

<div>

*Bothered by/changes the subject when sexual comments/innuendoes/jokes are made

(Pointing to subtext): on Ed’s alter for Susan there are both teen and recent pictures, teen necklaces “best friend”-split, both pieces. Ed’s absentee dad’s only piece of advice to Ed gets revealed: “keep what’s in the drawers in the drawers”

*“Ulterior motive-unconscious”—possibly: A Drive “Freud missed” = Ed’s sense of obligation to something bigger/for life “meaning” – which gets him sucked into the family before he realizes his biological connection.

*Ed’s overtly uncomfortable with Jewels’ sexuality, even as he’s clearly aroused

*Everything “church” makes Ed decidedly uncomfortable

Want: to be with (deceased) Susan, after finally, and only briefly, reconnecting with her—and just starting to fully live.

Need: to heal and live more fully (to personally & deeply connect with the living around him-and to continue his work)-but to do so he’ll have to feel the pain of not doing this sooner—which is easier when he can also play (feel joy). Which he first needs to feel safe enough to do.

Paradoxes:

• He’s all about connections, but has never married or had kids

• He’s a multi-modal psychiatrist who helps many, but knowingly avoids doing his own psychological work.

• He’s ‘stuck’ professionally, but the solution to his ‘book’ (needs to think of it as multi-format ‘content’) is thinking expansively, as is his gift. The solution is right there in the “material being” that he is (Ala Freud).

• He’s analytically trained (Freud et.al) but has guilt about sex.

• As a psychiatrist, he’s all about helping people live good lives, but he, himself, lives through others/has always avoided living his own life.

• He avoids the pain of lost opportunity-by repetitively passing up opportunity

Secret: feels like he killed his father when he was 11 with his passion (acid rock music) & feels guilty that he had sex before marriage.

Flaw: avoids the pain of lost opportunity-by repetitively passing up opportunity. He doesn’t do for himself (express love/empathy) what he does for others.

Special: Profound – he has a gift for helping people understand deep things about themselves and the world, by making them feel enveloped/safe enough to look at the hard stuff.

Competing Agendas with…

Linda: (Narcissistic mother of Grace – where the personification of the antagonism is greatest – tho antagonism is our human psychological defenses that keep us from growing, manifested differently in each character) – who in Act III is a little bit helped by the holding/mirroring of the nun, and by the wake-up call of meeting another “Linda” — who is demented

Grace: thinking she’s “found” her deceased bio grandma, Grace wants Ed (who she thinks was Susan’s husband) to be a part of the family. Besides, she’s desperate for his relationship tips since she and her forever-fiancé, Mike can’t seem to get married.

Mike: just wants Grace to be happy. Which means keeping Ed around

Christopher with avoidant traits, similar to Ed. They avoid each other to avoid being reminded they’re avoidant.

Jewels: Grace’s flamboyant great aunt, a minister who will marry Grace and Mike—who sees what Ed does not (wish to) see.

EXT. RETIREMENT HOME ESTATE – TWILIGHT

A tour bus winds heavily-flowered, manicured grounds. Passes a sign: “GARDENS BY THE WATER-Restful Living.” A fountain. Stops at the awninged entrance of…

…the main building. Stucco & soft-light, it could be a 5-Star hotel—but for the wheelchairs & white-uniformed staff.

EXT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – ENTRANCE -SAME

A lift on the bus lowers. LAUREN, 24, leaps from it. Swirls a wheelchair into the waiting hands of a BUBBLY WORKER.

BUBBLY WORKER

(Fussing as she pushes)

Welcome back Don! Was getting out exactly what you needed?

(And)

Shall we go to your room first?

We can’t hear Don’s answer, with the lift screeching back up and a ruckus at the front of the bus—.

BUS DRIVER (O.S.)

Dr. Cummings! You need to wait for Lauren!

DR. ED CUMMINGS (O.S.)

(Pushes the bus door open)

What I need is out! We’re 20 minutes late!

But Lauren’s got this. Directs a WORKER to the lift’s next chair, as she rushes to help DR. CUMMINGS, 76, who—

Receded hair and overcoat. Circle Glasses. The beard. This could be Sigmund Freud, re-incarnate who—

Brushes Lauren off. Unsteady on the bus’ steps before he’s a rock star on solid ground. Even with huge grocery bags.

LAUREN

(Hovering, nonetheless)

Dr. Cummings! Can I help?

ED

No. Thank you. No.

A bag in each hand, Ed nods, polite to OTHER HELPFUL WORKERS as he sprightly rushes to the door of resting nirvana. Where he…

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – FOYER – SAME

…is thwarted by a foyer filled with: evening wear and sparkling conversation of the residents and their families. The sound-system strains of (maybe) “If I had a Hammer”.

As Ed squeezes by woman on a knee scooter—

ED

Excuse me. Pardon.

Now recognizes the woman—

ED

Mae! A step forward! Less pain?

WOMAN (MAE)

Better every day.

ED

(Genuine)

Wonderful! Fantastic.

WOMAN

Are you—

But Mae’s good news has freed Ed to move on. To try to squeeze past a large, LOUD GROUP.

ED

(Louder)

Pardon! Excuse me!

The group doesn’t hear. So, shifting both bags to one hand—

Ed turns a thin profile between the group and a LONELY MAN in a walker. Whose sad eyes…Ed can’t help it. Despite being pained by the delay—

Ed grabs the arm of a man, DON WATERS, 70’s, wheelchair—from previous.

Indicating the lonely man—

ED

Don. Did you know Mack has one of those headlamps you need…

Watching Don turn to the man, Ed backs into A FRAIL WOMAN

ED

Oh! pardon. I’m so sorry!

Ed steadies the woman—and now bumps an easel. Its framed announcement: “The Kingston Trio! HERE at 7 PM!” …

…topples. Which Ed barely catches—as WADE AND JUDY CLEVELAND, 70’s, Judy in heels and pearls—

WADE JUDY

ED! Dr. Cummings!

Faces lit up like Ed was their kid. Ed kisses Judy’s cheek. Shakes Wade’s hand.

ED

Judy. Wade

JUDY

Oh, Doctor! Sit with us. Please?

Wade watches as Ed replaces the announcement—

WADE

Our local three-some, right here!

ED

(Wincing)

I’d really love to. But I’ve got to get back. It’s—. Well—

JUDY

(helpfully)

Your book! Of course. You’re such an important man! So much wisdom to share with the world. Wade and I wouldn’t dream of keeping you—

Wade pulls a handful of whisky samplers from a pocket—

WADE

But Henry McKenna would. Ed. Just once? A little liquid fun?

Ed’s discomfort’s worse, some reason, as he sees through glass doors: the dining area—setup for a concert. STAGEHANDS testing equipment on a stage.

ED

My loss. Truly. But Wade, I want you to enjoy your beautiful bride.

Judy and Wayne clasp hands like teens. A half-century of affection as—

Shadows of loss on Ed’s face. Before he heart-pluck reacts to a sound-check riff on the stage. Wade notices.

WADE

(Tries to distract)

Say—you have a publisher? I got a friend—

ED

(Impatience leaking)

Yes. Thank you. G’night.

Ed’s next turn is decisive. But, literally in his face—

PAT

Dr. Eeeee! Paar-tyy!

PAT LOWE, 79, is a weathered, hippy motorcycle chick, as incongruous, here, as fireworks at a funeral. With history between them—and everything Ed has—

ED

Pat! I know it’s not your first choice in music. But I’m sure it’ll be fun.

Ed steps to the side. Pat blocks. Another step that Pat blocks—with palms on his chest. Ed goes rigid.

PAT

Don’t be a spaz, Ed. You really don’t want to miss this!

The WORK it takes to erect Ed’s Therapist Frame—we see it.

ED

Yes, Pat. I do.

(Draws her attention to—)

But you don’t want to miss…

…a TUX-CLAD WORKER with an appetizer tray. Pat leaps at it like Ed knew she would. Now, as dining doors open—

People getting ahead! Pat grabs a handful of clams. Climbs over a chair. Pushes to the front. Ed’s years of practice—this still astounds.

Ed turns again. Now into the arms of LINDA, 82-delightfully demented.

LINDA

The music, Mr—! My life is complete! Dance with me?

Suddenly Linda’s concerned—

LINDA

Oh, dear. Mr.— I can’t remember—

More of Ed’s life’s work—Dementia, not the dancing. But the frame, here, is the Foxtrot, and with—

Ed’s able lead (to, maybe, “Scotch and Soda.”) —

ED

(Soothing)

Dr. Cummings, Linda. I’m Dr. Cummings.

For a moment, Linda finds herself again—in Ed’s eyes. In those beautiful movements, long-etched in her soul.

Somehow we know Ed will be here for as long as he’s needed. But we’re grateful when Lauren takes Linda’s arm and—

LAUREN

Mrs. Uptagraff. It’s showtime!

Lets Ed move again…

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – HALL – CONTINUOUS

…down a hall. Slower. Nods at a few straggling residents, one pushing a raised bed bearing a NUN. Everyone going the opposite direction from Ed.

Thank you to anyone who reads and comments!

</div></div>

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Dialogue on The Attack!

What I learned: to focus on every single line—from many angles.

Jewels’ subtext in this scene: she understands that Ed could lighten up, play and enjoy life more if he felt safe there’s something that’s bigger than he is—but if she’s too on-the-nose with the message, he’ll bat it away.

Ed’s subtext: there are things he feels too guilty, mad and embarrassed about to share.

Ed’s Basic Traits (main ensemble protagonist)

· Responsible

· Avoidant – and restless as a consequence (subtext)

· Caring

· Connecting (his extreme trait)

Jewels’ Basic Traits (the minister, B story – the very minimally advanced -love story)

· Impressionistic (her extreme trait)

· Joyful/bubbly/exuberant

· Grounded/centered, thereby trusting (subtext – sees things not everyone can)

· Sensual

INT. DILAPIDATED CHURCH – DAY

A broken window behind her. Jewels with a saw, plywood over 2 X 4’s between two sawhorses, is about to cut as—

Ed rushes in like he’s being poked in the butt with a broomstick.

ED

Grace won’t answer my calls.

He stops. Shocked. Jewels’ impeccable technique—

ED

(Processing what he sees)

I—can’t leave things like this.

Jewels sets down the saw. Pushes back her muffs.

JEWELS

You’re asking for help?

Ed eyes the split floorboards. The rock and broken glass. Jewels’ vibrant dress in the dust. Feels absurd.

ED

Yes. Apparently.

Jewels moves toward Ed.

JEWELS

(Warmly)

Grace needs you.

ED

I know. That’s why I’m here.

Close now, Jewels opens her arms. To hug him?

JEWELS

You need her.

Ed steps back.

ED

Well, it’s not like—

Reminiscent of the Matrix’s Oracle as she interrupts—

JEWELS

No you do. What you don’t know is why. But give this a try—.

Her hands upturn, maybe to take his? Ed scissor-steps back into the second pew. A pew between them that—

Jewels rests a hand on as she leans forward. Ed’s remaining retreat option: he sits. And—

Immediately feels the aisle-side of his bench slip. A jolting CATCH as Ed’s hands clench the bench and—

JEWELS

(Barely reacting)

You’re a band member trying to conduct.

ED

(As much about the bench)

Whaaat?

JEWELS

Or an actor who wants to direct—if we keep with the family theatrics.

Ed’s bench GROANS. Soft, but adds to Ed’s agitation as he—

Moves a support hand to the back of the front pew. Far from Jewels as he can.

ED

(Uncharacteristically snark)

They teach obtuse speech in Divinity School?

(And)

Aren’t you concerned about—

Jewels is not. As she lowers herself, her lovely bosom passes before Ed’s eyes. Stops him cold as—

A louder GROAN. A whole pew section shifts when she sits.

JEWELS

Or to be scientific: a student who believes he should teach.

Ed stands.

ED

Metaphors are not science.

(And)

This bench is not safe.

(And)

I came to you because—

Motionless as a mountain as she interrupts—

JEWELS

When you always try to conduct, you never get to play.

Suddenly Jewels SHRIEKS—as if on a roller coaster. Leaps up. Her bench falls—

SMACKS the floor, and—

Dust rises, dances in the jagged light of a broken window.

JEWELS

(A smile)

Well. Always more work.

ED

Good Lord.

JEWELS

Oh, yes!

ED

You need the maintenance crew.

JEWELS

What fun is that?

Another CRASH (OS) in the sacristy. A chain reaction? As—

ED

(Startled rage)

You know!

Suddenly it’s QUIET. Ed stuffing his feelings to where they’ve long-time been. A remnant of hysteria, only in his eyes—

Held by Jewels’. A witness to what he can not hide.

Ed steps out of the pew.

ED

I give up.

JEWELS

(Gently)

I know.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Characters Live!

What I learned: Appreciating Hal’s focused guidance, as always.

INT. LINDA’S HOUSE – KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

The sewing’s metastasized to the kitchen that Ed and Mike scan, looking for a place to sit:

A runner of fabric on the floor. Suit pieces draping the cupboards. Bright-colored shards (and the flowers they’ll become) splattering the table like a Pollock painting.

SUSAN

(Agitated)

We should move to the porch.

ED

Sure. And, uh, is—

MIKE

(Reading Ed’s thoughts re: Mark)

Of course not.

Grace straddles fabric as she lifts a snack-filled tray.

SUSAN

My dad will be here. He promised!

With a glance out a window, bright as we’ve never seen—

CHRIS

But you know who actually is!

Grace shrieks.

SUSAN

OhMyGod! Aunt Jewels! Aunt Jewels!!

Grace practically drops the tray as she frog-leaps over patterned-pinned fabric. Bolts to the door.

INT./EXT. LINDA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM/PORCH – CONTINUOUS

Everyone spills out around a PRESENCE that has filled the porch. Peach and pink and pea-green in tea-shades, here’s:

JEWELS, 68. 60’s-bedeckled (inside and out) with perfect plump to envelop Susan in a gentle-firm hug that could dissolve a diamond.

JEWELS

Susan.

MIKE

(With meaning)

It is so great to see you.

JEWELS

AHHH! Michael!

As she envelops him, too—

JEWELS

I’m gonna get you married!

ED

(To Christopher)

This is—?

CHRISTOPHER

The minister. And the great aunt that everyone wished they had. But we did.

(And)

She gave me my first piece of gum.

GRACE

(Still in the hug)

She taught me to drive!

Noticeably more settled, Mike pulls out barely enough to—

MIKE

(Sotto to Ed)

Linda can’t stand her.

JEWELS

(Pulls Mike back in)

Now, stop that.

Jewels releases Grace and Mike. Greets the rest with her kinkajou-eyes. And we hear her—

JEWELS

(kookaburra’s laugh)

Christopher! Those glasses!

Feel the personification of a joy that Ed has never known as she embraces Christopher.

The way this woman shines—and shares it. If there’s something she ingested, you can’t help but want to swallow it, too.

(IN A LATER SCENE?): Blind as a bat without the tea shades she can never find, Jewels has an interior sight you could never hide from. From which she projects the best of everyone out into the world.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Character Chemistry

What I learned: okay so this pantser is appreciating the value of thinking about this up front, rather than writing it— and then trying to figure out what it is…

Antagonistic Forces:

· Promoting change – internal: the human drive for growth & life-meaning (that is largely relational)

· Promoting change – external: Ed with each of the others (as in a romance): each challenging the others’ defenses that keep them from healing/growing (Susan and Mark’s lives/deaths as catalysts) .

· Resisting change – internal: each character’s particular psychological defenses (excepting Jewels)

· Antagonism more purely Personified (external) in: Linda (complete self-focus/manipulation of others)

Ed – Linda (Direct Protagonist/Antagonist)

Common ground/similarities:

· Both focused on not feeling their own uncomfortable feelings

· Both need a kick in the ass to grow

· Both fairly clearly know they are avoiding psychological work and are okay with that

· Both need to work

Differences that create conflict:

· Ed’s promoting growth/healing in Linda’s family and Linda’s resisting it

· Ed’s empathetic/compassionate and Linda has empathy deficits (emotional)

Playing the same game/Competing Agendas:

· Same Game = to remove Ed from the family (initially, this is Ed’s goal, too)

· Competing Agendas: as Ed bonds with the family, Linda and Ed are no longer on the same team (as above)

Need fulfillment: both need to psycho-spiritually grow and…

· Linda (once committed) has the “just do it” (fearless) attitude Ed can borrow ego strength from

· Ed can call Linda’s bluff and push this bully in a way she respects ( & also connects her to Sister Mary)

Ed – Grace (Antagonists for each other)

Common ground/similarities:

· Both had dead-beat dads who died

· Both love people deeply and are terrified of losing them

· Both work (in Ed’s case, he did )/over-work as a defense

Differences that create conflict:

· Ed’s now trying not to work and recognizes Grace’s overworking for what it is—as she clings to it

· Grace is completely comfortable with play, which terrifies Ed

· Grace deeply desires family connections, which Ed has life-long avoided

Playing the same game/Competing Agendas:

· Grace wants Ed in the family and Ed (at first) does not want to join them.

Need fulfillment: both need to psycho-spiritually grow and…

· Grace can teach Ed the play that can help him heal/ Live Well (life of growth, meaning and connection)

· Ed can help Grace love/trust herself so she can more fully love/trust others

Ed – Jewels (Protagonist/Transforming Agent)

Common ground/similarities:

· Both are smart/enlightened/learned in their own disciplines/ways

· Both have big hearts (love)

Differences that create conflict:

· Jewels is play/spiritual joy personified and Ed values the human intellect/science

· Jewels is perfectly comfortable with what Ed is deathly afraid of: sorrow/grief/guilt/anger

Playing the same game/Competing Agendas:

· Ultimately (once Ed admits it for himself) they both know the goal of life is to heal and grow. Their Worldviews for this, however are different: spiritual vs. science

Need fulfillment: both want Grace and Mike (the next generations) to heal and grow and…

· Ed can bring the scientific treatments (work) while

· Jewles has the spiritual joy/play and work.

Ed – Michael (Antagonist forces for each other )

Common ground/similarities:

· Both are men

· Both need to work

Differences that create conflict:

· Ed thinks Michael needs ADHD/Substance Use Disorder treatment and Michael disagrees

· Michael’s comfortable with SEX and Ed has issues

Playing the same game/Competing Agendas:

· Both committed to Michael/Grace’s family’s wellbeing, but Ed sees this as involving change for Michael and Michael sees this as getting Ed to lighten up, be part of the family as Grace wants

Need fulfillment: both need to work

· Ed needs to work again and Michael gives him the opportunity (which makes Mike employable)

Ed – Christopher (Antagonist forces for each other )

Common ground/similarities:

· Both are men

· Both need to work

· Both are socially avoidant (limited in love)

Differences that create conflict:

· They each think the other needs treatment for his avoidance/depression

· Christopher’s more comfortable with SEX than Ed is

Playing the same game/Competing Agendas:

· Both committed to Michael/Grace’s family’s wellbeing but Ed sees this as involving change for Christopher and Christopher sees this as keeping Ed around because Grace wants that so badly

Need fulfillment: both need to work and love more

· Both need to connect with others and they each recognize and call this out in the other

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth: Adding Character Arc

What I learned: Yet again, Hal keeps me focused.

Ed

The Issue: All his life, Ed’s focused on other people’s psychological work rather than dealing with his own pain, rage and guilt, because his “11 year-old self” remains afraid it will be overwhelming-AVOIDANT trait. Besides, he’s good at helping other people do their work, which is gratifying. But 2 years ago he finally stepped into his own life and reconnected with his long-lost high school sweetheart. She died after a year as they were planning their wedding—and now all he can think about is getting out of his (even more difficult) life. The only life activity he has is playing his music all by himself. (When he was with Susan he was playing in a band so he could play a song for her at their wedding).

Escalating Challenges:

1. NH friends put pressure on him to talk/ “play” with them, which he avoids/resists by hiding out, just like he did before he reconnected with Susan after 60 years. (He avoided marrying/having a family).

2. Meets Grace, Susan’s granddaughter – feels he owes it to Susan to get her box to her son.

3. Pressure from NH friends who think he should connect more with the family than just passing off the box. So he connects them to help – which entangles Ed even more in both NH friends’ and family’s lives (show with more texts/calls, looking for him, etc.)

4. Pressure from family who play on his responsible/caring traits (as above)

5. Pressure from his own growing love for family as he grows increasingly connected (helps Kristian talk and poop), relates a little to Linda, helps Grace and Christopher with their mother issues – and finally steps up and helps Michael.

6. When he sees how old Mark is, Ed realizes Grace might actually be HIS granddaughter, too! He orders a test to find out, but then Mark’s MI, and subsequent death trigger Ed’s deepest fear – until, as he helps Grace, he realize he’s survived his own feelings.

7. Grace is about to pull out of the wedding again, so Ed shares his own mirror-of Grace’s anger & guilt re: absent dads, to help her decide to go through with the wedding (her transformation).

The Transformation: when the woman who may be his granddaughter is willing to give up something really important to her (wedding music) to make her own transformation (face/name her feelings so she can get married) he knows he MUST finally do his feeling ‘work’, too. So he gathers the band he’d played with the year he was with Susan and they perform (play) at the wedding – then he otherwise gets back into life.

Grace

The Issue: raised by a narcissistic mom (absent dad) Grace feels irrevocably unlovable (trait that changes). Also, because her mother told her that her dad abandoned them after her parents married (and her best friend’s father cheated of his wife, and the best friend’s husband did the same): Grace believes that if she gets married, Mike will cheat or leave. Enveloped/mirrored by Ed, Grace learns to love/trust herself so she can fully love/trust Mike.

Escalating Challenges:

1. In her usual state of relationship conflict/attachment, Grace meets a grandfather figure who also gives miraculous relationship advice (inadvertently helps her slow down enough to think/feel/share) that makes her thirst for more. ESPECIALLY since she thinks he was married to her grandmother!

2. When she realizes Susan was her grandmother, Ed continues to help Grace & Mike’s relationship and the family, both himself and by bringing in others—which starts to give Grace new ways to think about things. But…

3. As she starts to feel okay about trying to get married, financial stresses make her work faster/more – and she regresses, culminating in…

4. Her job loss right before her dad’s MI which

5. Triggers Ed—so he leaves. And this triggers Grace’s abandonment issue—so she confronts Ed. Which makes him impulsively reveal his relationship with Susan was just a “hook-up”—so she boots the man who is finally helping her.

6. But b/c of Ed’s growing feelings for the family and Jewel’s help, Ed comes back. But then Grace’s dad dies, which fully overwhelms Ed (until he realizes that it doesn’t)—after which, Ed helps Grace with her father’s death (in part by highlighting that her father was never cut out to be a father and already lived his version of a good life), and encourages her to get married as planned.

7. Forced by her dad’s death to stop moving/WORKING so fast, Grace finally feels/think and: learns that things aren’t always as they seem/are sold, including: her mother reveals she was never married to Grace’s dad – was a teen groupie of his travel show; that Ed might actually be her grandfather (and so not every man cheats, even when they never married the girl!); that her mother’s been manipulating her and her brother to their psychological detriment— so Grace takes action that helps them both and makes her feel more empowered to…

The Transformation: Grace realizes that if Mike didn’t cheat before his impulsivity was treated, now that it is there’s an even better chance he’ll stay faithful given his core trait of loyalty. More importantly, she visualizes the “what if” – and realizes she can survive, even if Mike leaves her.

Christopher

The Issue: Christopher’s afraid of rejection, so he’s avoidant (like Ed). His mother makes things worse by cultivating his fear so he’ll stick around and take care of her.

Escalating Challenges:

1. Ed shows up, shaking things up – and he’s got Christopher figured out, puts pressure on him to not hide in the basement, helps him see Grace’s sad state.

2. Ed points out Christopher’s sad state to Grace and encourages they go out to dinner

3. Christopher confesses to Ed he’s passively suicidal

4. Christopher goes to a therapist where he also…

5. Meets Lauren and begins to envision another life

The Transformation: When his beloved sister is overwhelmingly distressed over her job loss and father’s death right before the wedding, Christopher steps up, take more work so they can all move into a duplex

Michael

The Issue: He needs treatment for his primary psych dx so his secondary one can be addressed, too.

Escalating Challenges:

1. Coping per usual, Michael is distracted at work, fighting with Grace and can’t get Grace to marry him. But when they meet Ed he begins to see hope

2. He looses his job. The wedding money has to go to paying the mortgage

3. His marijuana is laced and he gets psychotic which is fun – until it isn’t.

4. His dealer shows up and Ed sends him away—making him look at himself a little

5. When Grace calls off the wedding, Mike takes Ed up on the offer to get Rx

6. Gets meds, a little CBT. Goes to Marijuana Anonymous

The Transformation: Now better organized and effective, when his bride stops overworking and fully falls apart, he’s able step in and organize/inspire the help needed to make the wedding happen.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Dueling Agendas

What I learned…having a specific focus can really help pull out a scene.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Grace’s Basic traits

· Hard (over)-working

· Playful/creative/musical – like ED, can put things together you’d never expect

· Enthusiastic/positive/exuberant

· SUBTEXT: in this scene: is desperate for mirroring/love from grandparents b/c she’s had precious little from parents and feels irrevocably unlovable –

Ed’s Basic traits

· Uber-Responsible

· Avoidant-restless as a consequence (changes): Subtext: in this scene: he can’t talk much about Susan, his teenage love, who he had only ‘hooked’ back up with a year ago, before she died—b/c the feelings of grief, guilt, having ‘missed out’ are so strong.

· Caring

· Connecting (collects/mixes diverse ideas & people)-his brilliance (extreme)

Outline:

Beginning: Ed in bed. Grace pounds on door, ecstatic she’s found Ed.

Middle: Grace tries to talk Ed into giving her marriage advice as Ed’s retirement home mates look on.

End: Grace gets the “perfect” advice

INT. ED’S APARTMENT – EVENING

Ed, supine in bed. Hands crossed on his chest. Ignores the growing knocks of Determination Incarnate, until…

… the patience of Job, he pulls back blankets and—

Lumbers down the hall. Not bothering with lights, as he—

Cracks the door. Squints. Only his head out. Though his nose points straight into the yellow pistil of…

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – HALL – CONTINUOUS

…a magenta flower. Silky and magnetic—for bees and men alike—on a blouse that sparingly covers the bosom of—

GRACE

OhMyGod, Ed! I found you!

ED

Uh—

Straightening, both his frontal lobes and his spine, Ed notices Pat pushing Sr. Mary down the hall toward them.

ED

Hi Grace.

GRACE

Oh! You remember me!

Sr. Mary sees this—Manna from Heaven for Grace. Smiles.

ED

(Pained)

Well, some things are—hard to forget.

(And)

But it’s really late. I’m sorry. It’s bedtime and—

Ed watches Pat make a face at him. Makes a face back as—

Grace reaches for her phone, confused as—

A MALE GERMAN VISITOR approaches from the opposite direction and helpfully reads his watch—

GERMAN VISITOR

Seven-oh-sechs! Bedtime for sure.

The man fixates on Grace’s cleavage. Against Ed’s better judgement—but anything to reposition Grace and her chest—

ED

What do you need, Grace? From me?

GRACE

Oh, I’ve been so excited! I mean, I know Susan is painful. So maybe that’s for later—

Pat stops, intrigued. Ed waves a hand: Go!

GRACE

But, the sex! Ed. I have got to tell you—you are absolute magic!

Pat grins. Ed’s mortified. Avoids Sr. Mary, as he throws a disapproving look at the German Visitor who’s stopped, too

SUSAN

Seriously. You are the Mohammad Ali of relationships! Fast hands and phantom punches that totally knock out a fight!

(Breathless)

But I need more.

Pat and Sr. Mary gape.

GRACE

Though you know I can’t pay for it. So it can’t be that kind of relationship. Still, if there’s any, creative way—

The German’s game for a creative way.

ED

(Irritably to the German)

This is confidential. Please leave.

But the German’s all in, as Walt rounds the corner.

WALT

(Shocked)

Ed has a visitor?

Ed tries really hard to ignore. To Grace—

ED

Like I told you before—

GRACE

(Interrupting)

You were were never into couples

JUDY

(OS)

Walt!

Judy rounds the corner. Appraises.

JUDY

(To Walt as she nears him)

You up for a game of Hearts?

WALT

(To Judy)

Shhh. This is really good.

Judy stops. Watches.

ED

(To the gathered audience)

Guys! Please!

GRACE

(To Ed)

Don’t worry, I’m used to it. I’m in theater.

(And)

And I know you’re retired.

ED

Correct.

GRACE

But please, can you just give me one more piece of advice? Not as a doctor, but as someone who was blessed with a life-long loving relationship?

Ed is suddenly the poster-child of both guilt and pain.

GRACE

Please.

(With tears)

We’re in trouble.

The congregation hovers. Awaits the Good Doctor’s wisdom—

ED

Uh—

(Finally)

Well. Do you cherish him?

GRACE

Cherish? You mean, like in the marriage vows? Of course!

ED

Well. Then maybe you could think of a way to do that more?

Grace thinks as Ed pulls his head in. Starts to close the door on a totally perplexed Grace.

ED

Okay? Nice meeting you. Good luck.

The door clicks.

INT. ED’S APARTMENT – CONTINUOUS

ED

Have a good life.

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – HALL – CONTINUOUS

GRACE

OhMyGod you’re right! I’ll start a foundation!

Oh my God—there isn’t a choice! Ed re-opens the door.

ED

I was thinking of something that’s, maybe, a whole lot less work.

GRACE

(Ecstatic)

No! You’re exactly right! We’ll train a bunch of poor kids to play video games in the Olympics! This is exactly what Michael would want! It was his dream! If only he didn’t get too late of a start.

Grace kisses Ed through the crack.

GRACE

Thank you so much, Grandpa Ed. You are the best doctor, ever! I’ll be back with the update!

Ed’s POV: all other eyes. Seriously concerned.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Subtext and Loglines

What I learned – like Rob I hadn’t been aware of the need to think more about non-verbal ways of communicating subtext.

Name: ED

Basic traits

· Responsible

· Avoidant-restless as a consequence (changes): Subtext: afraid to say (even to himself) that he’s afraid the feelings (guilt/loss) he has to go through to grow (that have grown over time) are too much to endure. Scared of his feelings and hiding his guilt over having sex outside of marriage.

· Caring

· Connecting (collects/mixes diverse ideas & people)-his brilliance (extreme)

Character Logline: Ed’s a never-married retired psychiatrist whose hope of dying (so he can avoid feelings he’s always been afraid are unendurable) gets upended by the chaotic needs of the family of his deceased Junior High first-and-only love, especially when he realizes they may be his biological family, too.

Possible Areas of Subtext:

Ø Diverts/Avoids sharing all intimate details about Susan with NH friends and Susan’s family, but carries her pictures everwhere (covering his guilt of premarital sex)

Ø Bothered by/changes subject when sexual comments/innuendoes, jokes made – (points to his guilt re: sex)

Ø (Pointing to): his shrine to Susan: her teen and recent pictures, a teen’s best friend necklace, Ed’s dad’s only advice: “keep what’s in the drawers in the drawers” (points to the deep loss of a lifelong love, minimally and interruptedly requited – and the guilt over not following the only piece of advice his father ever gave him).

Ø possible: “Ulterior motive-unconscious”?: A “Drive Freud missed” for Meaning/something bigger (manifested in Ed’s sense of obligation) – gets him sucked into the family before he realizes the biological connection. Ed’s sense of obligation and all he does for the family points to this.

Ø Overtly uncomfortable with Jewels’ sexuality, as he’s also clearly aroused (points to)

Ø Everything “church” makes him uncomfortable (covers/points to)

Name: <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Grace

Basic traits

· Hard-working

· Playful/creative/musical – like ED, can put things together as you’d never expect

· Enthusiastic/positive/exuberant

· SUBTEXT: Hides a deep feeling she’s irrevocably unlovable – terrified that once Mike realizes this, he’ll leave. (The trait that changes)

Character Logline: Grace is woman who has to learn how to love herself so she can feel safe enough (know she’s lovable) to marry the father of her children—the man of her dreams.

Possible Areas of Subtext:

Ø DOES too many things (works), quickly, to avoid feeling unlovable (hides) – and to unendingly show that she is worthy of love, including tasks that others shun.

Ø Verbally and in action discounts her value

Ø Tolerates her mother’s unloving, selfish exploitation – until she sees how it hurts her brother

Ø Ignores her mother’s demeaning comments (covers the subtext)

Ø Worries/looks for evidence Mike is having an affair – for ‘signs’—because she believes he’ll eventually figure out she’s not lovable and do just this. (Points to the subtext)

Ø Is desperate for grandmother/grandfather love, since she never had either this, or parental love (points to the subtext)

Ø Overestimates kindness/generosity in others and underestimates these in herself (hides the feeling from herself)

Name: <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Michael

Basic traits:

· Simply loves

· Salesman – can sell water to a fish (if he’s sober)- the extreme trait

· Fun (plays really well)

· Impulsive/addictive (the trait that changes – gets modulated) SUBTEXT: he impulsively spent the mortgage $ when he bid/won a trip to an adults-only exotic island retreat for their honeymoon

Character Logline: Michael needs others to help him rein in (but only the right amount) his pleasure-seeking, impulsivity and distractibility so he can maximize the benefits and minimize the costs of these traits for himself and everyone else.

Possible Areas of Subtext:

Ø The mortgage money has gone missing and Grace is suspicious about a mistress– he impulsive spent it at an auction (points to)

Ø To cover, he uses clever salesman tricks that Grace both buys and doesn’t

Ø He buys tropics-appropriate lingerie and other clothes for Grace for the trip (points to)

Ø He gets tan and starts to work out – the beer belly shrinks (points to) which makes Grace suspicious

Ø Is learning to dance (points to)

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Characters

What I learned: this is a good exercise for me to do early – so I stay better focused.

DAY 1:

Name: ED

Basic traits (one extremely unique; diverse):

· Responsible

· Avoidant-restless as a consequence (changes)

· Caring

· Connecting (collects/mixes diverse ideas & people)-his brilliance (extreme)

Want: to be with (deceased)Susan, after finally, briefly finding her again and starting to fully live

Need: to heal and live (to personally & deeply connect with the living around him-and to continue his work)-but to do so he’ll have to feel the pain of not doing it sooner.

Paradoxes:

· He’s all about connections, but has never married or had kids

· He’s a brilliant multi-modal psychiatrist who helps many, but knowingly avoids doing his own psychological work.

· He’s ‘stuck’ professionally but the solution to his ‘book’ (content) is thinking expansively, as is his gift. The solution is right there in the material being he is (Ala Freud).

· He’s analytically trained (Freud et.al) but has guilt about sex.

· As a psychiatrist he’s about helping people live good lives, but he lives through others—has always avoided living his own life.

· avoids the pain of lost opportunity-by repetitively passing up opportunity

Secret: feels like he killed his father with his passion-acid rock music; feels guilty that he had sex before marriage.

Flaw: avoids the pain of lost opportunity-by repetitively passing up opportunity. He needs to do for himself (love/empathy) what he easily does for others.

Special: Profound – he has a gift for helping people understand deep things about themselves and the world (that they tend to avoid seeing) by making them feel enveloped/safe enough to look at them.

Name: Grace

Basic traits (one extremely unique; diverse):

· Hard working

· Playful/creative/musical – like ED, she puts things together you’d never expect

· Enthusiastic/positive

· Feels deeply unlovable/not valuable (changes)

Want: to accomplish (through work) whatever it is that will make her lovable/valuable

Need: to let herself be enveloped in the love she didn’t have as a kid

Paradoxes:

· Feels deeply unlovable, even as she’s surrounded by people who love her deeply

· By overworking she’s working ‘less well’ – less creative, as her work demands and eventually she’ll overload and not work, or work well, at all

· If she could let herself feel safe in love she’d be able to work and play even better.

Secret: she lied to her mother and the world when she nominated Linda for best Mother of the Year-which gives potency to when she learns of Ed’s ‘lie’ about not having a relationship with Susan, but just ‘hooking up’. She really doesn’t have much of a relationship with her mother at all because she doesn’t like/respect her.

Flaw: she keeps insanely busy so she doesn’t have to feel feelings that seem overwhelming (esp. that she’s alone/abandonded-because of her ugliness – and rage she has those thoughts/feelings)

Special: like Ed, she can make unexpected associations/connections between unrelated things that may fly too close to the sun. Profound

Name: Michael

Basic traits (one extremely unique; diverse):

· Simply loves

· Salesman – can sell water to a fish (if he’s sober) extreme

· Fun (plays really well)

· Impulsive/addictive (changes – modulated)

Want: to just love and play

Need: to modulate fun with appropriate work, so he can love his family even more

Paradoxes:

· Has life figured out in his core – but can’t let this truth shine without the help of others

· Deep truths in his pure silliness, that he doesn’t even seem aware of

· He loves play but will do it even better if he can also work

Secret: had an opportunity for an impulsive affair (Grace’s deepest fear) – and managed to choose not to take it—because love is simply a choice.

Flaw: distractible as hell.

Special: a bit like Phil in the Hangover (without the: ‘is this sociopathic?’), he just exudes COOL.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Day 13: Elizabeth’s Non-linear Decisions:

What I learned: ironically (or not) this helps keep me organized. I need a lot of help keeping organized.

SP CHAIN 1: (will Ed overcome his psychological defenses of repression & avoidance and get back in the game of life?)Ed overcomes defenses and starts Working again

· Ed, mentally and physically able to work—is on a death watch.

· Retirement home mates mention his illustrious/exhaustive psychiatric career (w/o details), important book contract.

· Through ACT 1, repeatedly see page 1 of his Psychiatric Text book (blank – with note to self to fix terrible title) and Ed not working on it.

· Through ACT 2 we learn all the things he did NOT do in practice (couples, kids, substance abuse – as he gives the family’s couples problems to Wade and Judy, gender dysphoria to Pat, Substance use/ADHD to AA and primary care; sends Chris to therapist at retirement home (since it’s SO hard to get into therapists) here he meets Lauren). What DID Ed do that was so important? As:

· Info meted out re: prolific publishing of papers/presentations gradually bringing into focus that Ed’s gift is:

· Bringing ideas and people together. E.g. Jewels reveals to family she looked up his papers (studied psychology in Divinity School) and he was famous for compelling/inspiring papers/talks bringing diverse practitioners together – using ALL healing modalities, not just one’s ‘camp’s’.

· He finally gets sucked back in to work with the CBT – since primary care can’t do it – for Mike’s ADHD that builds their bond (love). We also see his brilliant ability to motivate people to work, and work together here(and above)

· Jewels makes him come clean about why he’s not loving and working (developing the theme that working helps him love, loving helps him work, playing helps him work and love – and I’ll also need thread this throughout)

· Wedding day: cake looks like poop, but Eds not so distressed (as in beginning with the poop art) as Judy already has this handled, with replacement cupcakes.

· Completely non-plussed as Walt fixes plumbing and Mary directs Linda and theater kids to gather flowers from the retirement home grounds. Who’s going to refuse a nun?

· A bigger emotionally brilliant/motivating speech to Grace at her crisis/climax, where he ties in love, work and PLAY, as Jewels and all the retirement home friends trickle in to hear. After which:

· Pat, who knows he PLAYS MUSIC comments to him: who might be able to play the wedding music, now that the musicians are stoned.

· In Disney World where he’s Playing, we see him also furiously working on his book -excitedly exchanging ideas with Jewels, who he’s also beginning to Love.

SP CHAIN 2: (as above) Ed overcomes defenses starts Loving again

· Act 1 X3 Poignantly notices bond between Judy and Wade

· Walt surprised Ed doesn’t have a bucket list.

· Ed mentions Susan’s solitary personality, she was a librarian. Didn’t get out much. Something about this doesn’t add up, given we think they were married a long time.

· Someone mentions maybe he should get a dog.

· Alter with pictures of Susan late teens/early 20’s and 70’s. Wedding bands, candles, dried flower, a dried up piece of some kind of food, stack of business cards, locked box below. Clearly a huge loss.

· Antithesis of love between him and Pat

· Act 1 Goes to graveyard X 3 with flowers and little cakes (last a cupcake)

· CALL: on bus, can’t help but notice Grace’s similarity to Susan. As Grace (baby on lap) and Mike fight and Ed tries to help. Old woman on the bus rolls her eyes at Ed, “better in our day when you had to get married if you wanted sex.”

· Weakened by Susan-Grace similarity, shares an old picture of Susan.

· Act 1 Avoids prolonged contact with Grace after this when she shows up twice.

· Act 1 declines advances of eligible woman in exercise room

· LOCK-IN: Ed gets sucked into ACT 2 out of devotion to Susan (delivering the box) when he sees the genetic test

· Jewels shows up early Act II. Ed’s irritable but potential chemistry.

· Kids want a dog. Jewels comments maybe Ed wants a dog, since he’s not much into family.

· MP: When Mark’s MI is emotionally too much for ED, he blurts out (overcoming avoidance) that he and Susan weren’t married, it was a Facebook hookup and:

· Ed gets kicked out by Grace for this, a loss b/c he’s now emotionally involved.

· Also, still also hasn’t delivered his box, so he enlists Jewels help, expresses his embarrassment to Susan and Mike over his/Susan’s out-of wedlock sex – explaining they were, in fact engaged.

· Reveal (maybe Mike asks about the old picture): Ed does not spontaneously share this (doesn’t occur to him b/c of repression). But he knew Susan “when we were kids.” She was “kind to” him when his dad died. Before she moved. (Somewhere reveal that her family did not move) so that…

· Mark dies happy after explaining he just couldn’t live in a box and his bucket list is now overflowing.

· 2^nd TP: When Mark’s death is REALLY emotionally too much for Ed, and he has another running-out/blurting convo, this time with Jewels while she possibly smokes a joint, tells Ed about her stint at a home for unwed mothers, second trimester miscarriage. It’s clear they’ve both wondered if Ed could be Mark’s biological father. “We didn’t have sex, sex.” “But you’re a doctor—was there enough?”

· Somewhere above bucket list: get through wedding. Get a dog. Make a will -dog and everything to Grace.

· Ed buys a Grandaddy And Me test and steals one of Susan’s hairs.

· Finally really emotional bonding (sharing how his dad died when he played rock music) with Susan on the swing at her crisis/climax (where she chooses to marry, rather than reading the sign), tells her about the genetic test he hasn’t had time to send in.

· She tells him not to. She already knows he’s her grandpa, and he’s going to walk her down the isle. Which he does. Loving her even more by:

· Playing music, as she very much wants.

· MM 8 begin montage with dog, pan up leash to see it’s Ed, watching as we see all the graves, people putting flowers from the wedding as described elsewhere.

SP CHAIN 3: (as above – but add sublimation) Ed learns to Play

· Act 1, X3 Poignantly drawn to the various forms of play in dining room (cards – crazy 8’s, old maid, gin rummy) and other games, but especially music) but never engages

· In action/dialogue – Ed is not a playful man. Life time of all work and no play.

· In bed while residents play, including croquet during fire alarm

· See this clearly in bus scene where Grace and Mike recover from their fight with playful actions/dialogue and Ed is uncomfortable, can’t laugh with them

· Act 1: Pat follows him to graveyard, to warehouse. Later we see her ear up to the warehouse, listening (later reveal – she hears him playing music)

· Act 2 X3 declines various forms of play with family, though he progressively gets sucked a bit more in each time – smiling, then laughing, then (?)

· Toddler Kristian embodies PLAY, including gross play (poop) that is a metaphor for Ed’s aversion to playing. It’s messy. Maybe dangerous.

· Ed encourages Adam-Eve to combine her playful creativity with the work of sewing as she develops the fashion she’s always dreamed of.

· Jewels’ play makes him very nervous – but he’s increasingly captivated.

· Susan’s children’s play: as everyone else see’s the disaster of the mic’ed over fight, Ed sees the play of Kristian running on stage to show his clean hands and announce: I pooped in the potty and washed! The only one smiling

· Jewels at Ed’s apartment: it’s like your whole life is this box – he doesn’t deny it. We learn the organic substance on the alter was a piece of cake from his and Susan’s cake tasting, the wedding bands for their wedding that didn’t happen. The flower from the visit to the florist where she had a stroke in her excitement

· Emotionally brilliant/motivating speech to Grace at her crisis/climax, this time he unites: love, work and PLAY. As, by now, Jewels and all the retirement home friends are here to hear. After which:

· Pat, who knows he PLAYS MUSIC comments to him: wonder who can step in (for the stoned musicians)

· Ed plays rock music for the wedding

· In Disney World where he’s Playing, we see him also furiously working on his book -excitedly exchanging ideas with Jewels, who he’s also beginning to Love.

· Wedding flowers (from retirement home grounds,) to Susan’s, Mark’s Jimi’s and other graves by Ed and rest of cast.

· Plays at Disney Land which unlocks his ability to write again. Title for book: Comprehensive Psychiatry, how to Love, Work and Play together -leave nothing good out when it comes to helping your patients. Or something.

· “Good Wife” motel – like scene, only after a kiss Ed goes to his own room. Though, someday… (is there a jewelry box? Necklace?)

SP CHAIN 4: (will Grace overcome psychological defense of hypomania). Grace works less and Loves more.

· Fight with Mike on bus. She has an issue with commitment, he has one with employment. But there’s a lot of play here to work with.

· MM 2: Grace overworking at theater. Paying most of bills at home. Doing housework/cooking – not enough time to love and play. She’s distracting herself from herself. Linda, perfectly capable not working. Brother, Christopher depressed in the basement – Grace and Chris have a bond, but no time to talk

· On Bus call: Ed unwittingly helps her a ton by saying to Mike if you just don’t interrupt for, say 30 seconds – during their fight. Mike can’t. Then holds his breath, turns red, baby poofs his cheeks and they end up in hysterics.

· Ed notices Grace’s hypomania/fatigue and Linda’s narcissism, Christopher’s depression and sends Grace and Christopher out to get ice-cream while he does the dishes, getting Linda to wash ONE. G & C return refreshed and connected.

· Wade and Judy come over to talk about their marriage with Grace and Mike – first time falls rather flat but –

· Subsequent (some in montage and wedding prep-related) visits show G & M fighting less as Wade and Judy connect more, too. But Grace is ADDING this to her over-flowing plate, so

· Midpoint: Grace’s hypomanic defense gets stressed to the max when Mark has an MI on her Children’s Play opening night (with donors present) and her fight with Mike gets broadcast into the auditorium. Finally she cries.

· TP 2: After Mark dies, Christopher interrupts her working in the kitchen after the burial, as she complains to their mother about how she doesn’t help – steps up to announce they’re all moving out and Linda needs to get a job – gives her a list from Linked-In. Or something. Mike backs her up and announces he his boss is so impressed with his work now that he’s sober, on meds and doing his CBT- more pressure off. The two men have found a duplex.

· But working less means she feels more. More anxious as wedding about to happen.

· Crisis/climax: back to relying on “signs” she interprets wedding problems as she shouldn’t get married. Until she and Ed share a cathartic moment.

· Duplex scene where Mike, Christopher, Grace talk as they work to move in and playfully connect. (Love) – mirror opposite of how they interacted the first time we saw this family together.

· MM8 see Grace relaxing. Working less at the theater. Playing more with kids.

SP CHAIN 5: (will Mike overcome his distractibility, impulsivity, forgetfulness) Mike treats his ADHD and gets sober: no real resistance here. He just needs help.

· MM2 and onward to second part of Act 2 see increasing marijuana in response to stresses of:

· Job loss

· Home stress

· He and Christopher longingly, hopelessly wish they could have a startup

· Second job loss

· Marijuana laced with hallucinogen leads to child’s mess he finds enlightening

· Drug dealer shows up and Grace is livid

· Ed gets him to goes to primary care provider. Then Cannabis Anonymous.

· Learns ADHD skills from Ed

· Just striking better. New boss is happy

· Ends up directing a growing Start Up with Christopher

SP CHAIN 6: (will Chris overcome his psychological defenses of repression/avoidance and get into the game of life?) Chris gets pissed—and gets a life.

· Introduced in dialogue MM2 by Grace who gushes about how great he is

· Meet in MM3: a sloth, unkempt, barely verbal as he takes food and disappears into the basement

· MM3,4 Ed gets his number: he’s depressed like Ed, and avoiding…

· Anger at his narcissistic mother who’s “trapped” him.

· Passive-aggression: his minimal work keeps the family financially on edge and his sister over-working. Which Ed points out. He cares about his sister

· Starts spending more time with her (sent for ice cream as above)

· Starts seeing his mother’s behaviors, now that Ed’s pointed out that Freud defined psychological health as love and work, neither of which she does.

· Steps up to help his sister (easier than helping himself), gives his mother info on finding a job, and works with a now more functional Mike to get a duplex.

· Avidly programming for the start up in MM8.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Day 14:

Elizabeth’s Cliché busting scene

What I learned: okay certainly not fantastic and only one for now as I need to get back to re-working my outline (and hopefully thinking cliché busting all the while). But, I’ve known this Hal Trick for awhile, I believe from the Scene class—it’s brilliant. Today realized you can pick a brainstorm idea that ties into a critical question or pays off a set up.

PURPOSE: show the cake is a disaster. Was “ugly.” Yeah.

· Melting

· Missing

· Bright scarlet red

· Brown, neon, etc.

· Misshapen

· Falls into the snow

· Way too much/big; way too little

· Made of veggies

· Catches fire

· Is frozen and foggy from the dry ice in the center that Pat thought was cool

· Makes farting noises

· Smells like a fart

· Is shaped like a motorcycle

· Inexplicably starts to move

· Looks just like – poop

So, for better and worse I went with the poop-that moves, added the smell of anise that, well, makes you think. Basically, it got splattered with Pat’s ever-present coffee as she laughed hysterically with Adam-Eve and after failing to cover the spots adequately, added another — chocolate icing— that destabilized the cake—but was so much fun! This plays with the potty play from earlier and the child’s developmental milestone. And it could get re-labeled the groom’s cake when Judy brings in cupcakes to save the day—which I can hopefully set up some silly “guys’ potty” humor for before. A bit surprising (maybe not enough) given Adam-Eve’s meticulousness and gorgeous wedding gowns, which adds a little play to her arc, as well as becoming who she is. IF this character doesn’t need to be cut, in which case this whole scene goes. And, Well…

[Elizabeth Koenig]

DAY 12 Elizabeth’s Subplots with Meaning:

What I learned: Great way to help stay focused. Which is hard for me to do…

ED and Mike: “guy-play” (bonding over the sexual aspect of his relationship with Grace/ Ed’s with Susan) helps Ed realize he may have gotten Susan pregnant when they were in 9^th grade. Conflict: Ed’s just trying to get away but Mike’s stoned/psychotic and won’t let him leave for this “conversation.” “You look so much like Grace!” “You’re a doc, can’t you get pregnant with petting?” Other interactions, too, hint at sexual play that Ed’s embarrassed to enjoy.

· Beginning: on the bus during the fight, Mike tries to playfully bond with Ed re: something sexual that guys understand.

· Middle: stoned and psychotic from laced weed Mike SEES clearly the resemblance between Ed and Grace and now that it’s been revealed that Susan and Ed dated in middle school he joshes about the sexual exploits they must have had…

· End: Mike says “thanks Gramps” in poignant moment after the vows. We never could have done it without you.

ED and Christopher: so much like him, Christopher’s stuckness helps Ed see his own—and gain the resolve to help both of them get back into life. (Conflict: Ed just wants to deliver the box in MM3 or 4, but Christopher’s needs call to his professional responsibility- work)

· Christopher’s bedroom in the basement looks disturbingly like Ed’s apartment – details showing stuckness and waiting to die in bed. Why do you only work 12 hours a week? That gets me enough money to buy the food – my (mother’s) contract. So in the subsequent scenes Ed tries to motivate Christopher to get help.

· When Mark dies (and Christopher share’s he’s suicidal) Ed gets pissed. See you never know when your life will be taken from you (antagonism). Given the barriers to finding a counselor and being willing to go to one by oneself, Ed hauls Christopher to see the one who works part time at the retirement home — where he meets Lauren.

· Lauren and Christopher to Ed and Jewels at the wedding: thanks for hooking us up. (Need to thread the Jewels role here…)

ED and Jewels: Jewels’ ability to play/light-heartedness, and sharing of her own “being in trouble” teen pregnancy experience (she had a mid-term pregnancy demise in a home for unwed mothers) helps Ed do the psychological (trauma) work he needs to—putting together his life narrative: Susan being there for him when his parents were not. The not-quite-sex that must have gotten her pregnant, her sudden move — though her family did not! (Realization) then losing contact until he found her again on social media and they “hooked up.” But didn’t get the wedding he’d always wanted…

· Jewels blows into town, a very different woman than Susan, who stresses Ed immensely, even as there’s a hint of intoxicating chemistry. Their first interaction (TBD) is tense.

· One who cuts to the chase, having heard Mike’s theory, she tells him about her own “stint” at the Maternity Home, forcing him into the emotional reality of the literal reality that Mike just laid bare. As they reminisce about these days of their shared youth, a playfulness creeps in—as well as growing chemistry

· Ed and Jewels traveling the world – hotel door closing behind them, there’s going to be sex

ED and Kristian: seeing his younger self again through his great grandson, realizes it’s okay to play and make a mess of things. (Conflict: Kristian’s messes that he can’t escape stressing him out)

· First encounter with Kristian is the poop art on the wall which is way too much for Ed

· Ed smiles when Kristian runs on stage to announce he’s pooped in the potty as his parents are having an “expose-all” VO fight mic’ed over Grace’s headset as the actors are trying to continue and the donors and theater owner are not pleased.

· Ed (and Jewels) and Kristian (and Adam-Eve) at Disneyland. This will be a growing relationship as long as they’re alive.

Grace and Christopher: after Ed points them in the direction of each other, they help each other overcome what’s in their growth paths—their mother.

· Clear as day to Ed that Linda’s narcissism is an external antagonism to Grace’s and Christopher’s (her kids) psychological development, he suggests they spend some time together, talk to each other.

· After Mark dies, the fruits of this get picked when Christopher steps up to help his sister tell their mother they’re all moving out and she needs to get a job – gives her a list from Linked-In. Or something.

· Scene TBD (probably at the retirement home office v. Their duplex) where these two clearly talk (“work” is in here somehow) and playfully connect. (Love) – mirror opposite of how they interacted the first time we saw them together

#2 figure out all the TBD details above and flush out scenes focusing on emotions and meaning. And fully DO the outline. Currently it’s a mess.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

DAY 11 – Elizabeth’s Action/Reaction

What I learned: these passes are powerful. I really need to do them more than once, I suspect.

Concept: a retired psychiatrist final does his own psychological work when he’s forced into the family he never wanted and rediscovers what he (and Freud) forgot.

Ed’s goal: at beginning and throughout to avoid grief & guilt (with a hope he will soon be let out of this life to follow his beloved in death). Second goal at Lock-in: to deliver Susan’s box. Third Goal: to get through the funeral and wedding so he can go back to his deathwatch.

Ed’s character arc: wants to stay emotionally numb/safe, needs to get back (and more) fully into life by working, loving—and playing. Old trait: fearful/avoidant changed to all-in engaged. Grace’s arc: wants to take care of everything herself and distract herself from what she feels and knows (pain/loss of dad & anger-reality of mom and Mike). Needs to let others help. Old trait: overly self-reliant changed to supported.

From Ed’s POV

Goal #1: to be left alone so he can avoid his grief and guilt (and love, work and play)

1. Other residents try to lure him to play, love and work (cards, shows, motorcycle, Lauren suggests a lady friend, a potential lady friend)

2. Ed sees Grace and can’t help but think of Susan. Suggests Mike just listen, let Grace finish talking during their argument, which makes Mike and Grace hysterical – dissipating their fight for unclear reasons.

3. Grace shows up at Ed’s apartment. He tries to talk her into leaving but she TALKS, TALKS, and eventually he leaves her and goes to the gym.

4. Grace follows. An eligible lady friend follows and Grace encourages her interest in Ed.

5. Ed goes to his car. Grace pulls up and continues talking so he

6. Drives away – and drives so slow she can’t help but pass and move on.

7. REPEAT another version of 1

8. Grace shows up and Ed goes to the music performance during which Grace has to be quiet—and leaves, but Ed feels the pain of being in the music and goes back to his room

9. Pat subplot puts similar pressure on Ed’s avoidant defenses, interwoven above

10. Lockin Grace shows up again with the genetic test – and Ed sees Susan’s box

Goal #2: to get Susan’s box to Mark – without getting caught up in anything else.

1. Shows up at house but Mark’s not there and they won’t let him leave the box and plumbing problem gets him to call Walt. He barely helps another G & M fight

2. Now Walt is talking to him about the family at the Retirement Home (mult scenes)

3. Shows up at house again but Mark’s not there. Big fight over Mike’s lost job -too big for Ed. He calls in Wade and Judy.

4. Now Wade and Judy are talking about the family at the Retirement Home (mult scenes)

5. Shows up at the house a 3^rd time and Mark has an MI -now they are at the hospital and Ed is triggered, in his emotional-bumbling, tells Grace he and Susan only hooked up and she tells him to not come again. But he still has the box and now he’s upset that he’s made things worse for Grace

6. MP and early MM 5: Comes back to the hospital later, gives Mark the box and resolves Mark and Susan’s issues but Mark dies. The house is in foreclosure. Adam-Eve wants him to play dolls, which he can’t bring himself to do—and he can no longer avoid seeing what he has all along: she has gender ID issues. He irritably blurts out to Mike he’s substance-addicted and has ADHD, and Mike actually quietly takes this in. Christopher asks him to play Gin Rummy during which he tells him he’s suicidal. When Mike circles back asking how he can get treatment, Ed is really stuck working.

Goal # 3: Bucket List of Professional Obligations before he goes back to his death watch.

7. Sends Mike to cannabis anonymous and PCP for Rx and gives him CBT work, which Mike does. Promotes G & M making great “marriage therapy” progress with Wade and Judy. Hooks Pat up with Adam-Eve and the fashion show stage gets built.

8. Sends Christopher to a counselor who works part time in the retirement home – and he meets Lauren

9. Funeral for Mark – on the fashion show stage. NOW there’s chemistry with Jewels.

10. Trying to get through the wedding but it’s chaotic as hell and now the bride’s decided that’s a sign that she shouldn’t get married – and he can no longer avoid the grief of his NOT getting to have his own wedding – sharing of which (so I killed my dad with rock music and my fiance with the joy of a wedding – the insight hits: decides that the benefits of having his dad/Susan when he did are worth the risk of this love/play) – so even if this IS a sign of trouble ahead, it’s worth it—gets Grace to the alter. Even with the risks and costs, loving, working and playing is worth it… Ed’s character arc: wants to stay emotionally numb/safe, needs to get back and more fully into life by working, loving and playing. Old trait: avoidant changed to engaged. Grace’s arc: wants to distract herself from what she feels and knows (pain loss of dad/loss & anger-reality of mom and Mike and prevent future bad things by reading the signs right and working really hard. Needs to let up, feel, get help from others and trust. Old trait: self-reliant changed to supported.

11. But she really wants music. So his LOVE for her drives him to finally PLAY

12. He’s completed his bucket list, but now he’s unlocked, dancing wildly with Jewels – and seeing Future. And everyone else in the ensemble is unlocked, too.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

DAY 10 Elizabeth’s Pass #4

What I learned: I can really see how this helps shorten the number of drafts. I’m personally not able to get these exercises done AND fully sunk everything into individual scenes with this turnaround time. But this document will be a gem when I do do the rendering…

Concept: a retired psychiatrist final does his own psychological work when he’s forced into the family he never wanted and rediscovers what he (and Freud) forgot.

Emotional Dilemma (directly connected to the Main Conflict)

Ed: avoid feeling the grief/guilt (with avoidance/repression/suppression and sublimation) – or LIVE (love, work and play) but feel guilty, since his dad and Susan can’t do this.

First shows up: see the sad longing mixed with restlessness when he walks past the card game-Walt, who he really likes and the concert that’s about to start

Both sides built up:

Keep the defenses

· restlessness is gone each time he looks at Susan’s alter (feels sad)

· Sense of stability/comfort in his nightly and daily routines

· He looks really stressed—you have to feel for the guy—each time each member of the family has a problem or there’s commotion. And Jewels REALLY makes him uncomfortable.

· There’s a bonding between Ed and Christopher over there same defenses. They get each other and that’s neat. They also see the torment of the other and show us as they do. (Second bullet above)

· He is MORE distressed when he isn’t sublimating, but asking for help/understanding from Grace, as he sees the distress he causes her when he’s a fallible person

· The less he avoids life, the more work/feelings he causes for others

· It’s a loss to not go to Susan’s grave and, whatever it is that he does at the warehouse

Get rid of the defenses

· Restlessness is also gone after he lets down his defenses and does something (that first is very stressful)—in a progressively greater, deeper way. This to be seen with EACH person.

· OTHER people in each instance are ultimately grateful/benefit when they’re forced to/allowed to do their own work/love/play

·

When is choice made: ultimately at the crisis/climax when he brings all of his grief about Susan (the wedding they never had) and dad (dead when he played rock music) into the light and shares with Grace—and adds the ability to play. But avoidance becomes progressively less interesting to him/hard to do, the more he does it and he stumbles into letting go of sublimation when he shares his guilt over sleeping with Susan outside of marriage.

What do they lose? He can’t just go back to the retirement home and REST. He’s got to hold the guilt about starting another relationship with a woman. He’s got a lot of people who will continue to need him now—it’s work to love, work and play.

Grace: slow down and FEEL anger at mom; disappointment/anger/sadness/helplessness about Mike; tired/overwhelmed and LOVE for herself and have to do things to manage/dissipate the feelings that annoy/make others feel and do WORK –or stay hypomanic, fail to solve her increasingly dramatic/costly/risky problems but don’t make other people feel their own feelings which stresses her out and feels wrong

First shows up: fight on the bus – Mike calls her frenetic, she calls it work

Both sides built up

Keep the defense:

· She’s the primary financial support for the family

· If she feels her feelings, Mike will be sad and Linda will be annoyed/mad

· The kids like her playful enthusiasm

· She and Mike bond in their high energy, chaotic, spontaneous playfulness—she’s always up for more

Get rid of the defense:

· Deepens her bond with Mike each time she feels, climaxing when Mark has an MI — and Grace sharing her feelings prompts Mike to get the treatment he needs—and she sees the benefit. Which helps her:

· Stop and express her feelings even more when Mark dies – helping Christopher step up and help them both set limits with Linda – which makes everyone ( but Linda) happier

· Calmer at work, on time

· More emotionally connected to kids, Ed, others, t

What do they lose?

· Doesn’t get as much done

· Not quite as much fun for her kids – a (good) loss for both

· Feels hard feelings

· The narcissistic gratification of being able to “do it all.”

Mike: feel the fear that treating his ADHD/substance abuse will change the PLAYFUL person he is – or be able to work and support his family so they don’t have to live with Linda who holds everyone back, psychologically but maybe lose his play

First shows up: if I can mold the fight right, here. If not, in the next scene, act 1, where we see the whole family, his impulsivity that makes him so much FUN- his expressed sense that the mj keeps him lose to do this.

Both sides built up

Keep the defense

· Stress over job loss – Snaps at kids. Tokes and is fun again.

· Scene at work showing distractibility – he really is FUN for everyone, and actually gets a lot done

· This is who I’ve always been

· They put me on meds as a kid and I got skinny and boring

Get rid of the defense

· Loses another job

· Grace is at her wits end

· Kids need more help than he can provide in this state

When is choice made: as Linda’s at risk for foreclosure, when Mark’s MI forces Grace to stop “doing” and share her financial and other fears with him.

What do they lose? A bit of his playfulness now that more of his time goes to work.

Christopher: feel depressed/lonely and like a failure, but not feel like he’s not taking care of/loving his mother or let his mother have her own feelings and do her own love, work and play and live his own life.

First shows up: first family scene when he emerges from basement and is uber-sensitive/responsive to his mother’s emotions and inane requests.

Both sides built up

Keep the defenses

· Here’s the connection to Linda

· It’s predictable/routine

· No risk of heartbreak

· Not a lot of work

Get rid of the defenses

· Lauren!

· His sister needs him to

· The kids need him to

· His mother, actually, pisses him off – and she needs him to

· Play!

When is choice made: at the second TP when he bolsters his sister’s realization and action – so they all can leave Linda’s house and make her get a job.

What do they lose? His mother acts sad/withdraws

THEME revised: everyone needs to love work and play – and our ability to do each depends on the others. Or something.

Side one: love, work, and play are interdependent human abilities and joys

Side two: some people can live a life that works for them and others by only doing one or two.

SUB THEME: an individual’s emotional health is affected by and affects everyone around them.

Both Sides Show up:

· In the beginning, Ed is unable to love, work or play.

· As he’s forced to again work, he can’t help but start to love

· Loving forces him to finally start to play (games with the kids, modeling after Judy and Wade, in his “marriage work” with Grace and Mike, word games with Jewels, and ultimately the music he loves.

· In the beginning, very playful Mike is unable to effectively, consistently work, but he gets the help he needs to do this when Grace shows how distressed she is and his love for her makes him.

· In the beginning Grace is unable to tell people what she feels, is working too much for everyone which is limiting her ability to deeply love – and commit. As she overcomes her fears about working less, committing, and sharing her feelings she starts to get help from others and can work less—and play and love more.

· Linda doesn’t work, love or play – but for everyone’s sake needs to…and starts to do a little of each by the end

· Baby Kristian embodies play

· I’m starting to think Adam/Eve character doesn’t help, overall and should be cut

Climax Demands the Message: Ed needs to play (as a manifestation of his love and work for…) so the wedding can happen where Grace commits her love to Mike who is now able to work—for the benefit of them and their kids.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s DAY 9: Pass 3

What I learned: I’m SLOW and there’s too much here. And the pantser in me has trouble keeping to outline form

HA. I already knew that about myself! But this assignment is surely a help, and here’s the start of it…

Revised concept: a retired psychiatrist final does his own psychological work when he’s forced into the family he never wanted and rediscovers what he (and Freud) forgot.

Or, if I give away what was “forgotten” (rather than have the concept beg a question from listeners): A retired psychiatrist gets sucked into the family he never wanted where he rediscovers what he and Freud forgot: that one’s love and work (ala Freud) really sings, if you all the while you play.

Dramatic Question

ED: is this physically vibrant, but weighted and avoidant senior, going to continue whittling away his golden days, or will he finally find what he’s forgotten so he can get back to “love and work”—only better.

First established:

Opening scene, despite longingly looking at the band setting up in the retirement home’s dining room, and being stopped by (encouraged to join) Walt and Lauren playing cards as they wait for the show, then Judy and Wade dancing to the warm up strains who ask him to join, and biker chick Pat who wants to show him her phone game, he hurries back to his room (as everyone comments the important doctor must be getting back to his important work/book) where he looks at a bottle of whisky, pays homage to Susan’s alter, does none of this work and gets into a bed that looks like a coffin. Until he’s roused and kicked out by a fire alarm.

Increased in intensity:

ACT I:

*Gets on a city bus. Pat watches on her motorcycle. Theme: Pat, after he declines her offer of a (bike) ride to the graveyard for his daily visit: “You are stuck in your ruts! Didn’t they teach you how to live in shrink school?” We don’t see where he goes

· Gets off the return bus, goes to lifts weights/exercises at the Home – but won’t talk to an attractive resident who was watching him. Goes back and tries to type his first page, but can’t.

· Another nightly-coffin routine (this time a finger lick of whisky). A door knock gets him up – he declines Walts invite to watch a game, but now can’t sleep – stares at computer

· Gets on a city bus. Pat watches, follows, we see him get off at a grave yard, hurry past Jimmi Hendrix’s grave (where Pat stops, distracted, in awe). Ed alone at Susan’s, leaves flowers, back on the bus. Pat still with Hendrix

· See same folks as Ed comes back in. They invite him to various activities, he declines. Takes food back to his room where he turns off a game show on the tv and watches the alter as he eats his meal and drinks a shot

· Back on the city bus. Same hurry past Jimmi, flowers on Susan’s grave

* Bus to a warehouse where he gets out, goes into an unmarked door next to a garage. Beat as we see Pat has followed him here. An hour and he comes out, gets on the bus. No idea what he did here.

· Same people as he dishes up his dinner: Walt wants to run by his doc’s diagnosis of Adjustment Reaction-he’s bored being retired, what does Ed think? Judy and Wade have a question about retirement – same dinner to his room. Calls Lauren, orders all future dinners be delivered to his room. Same coffin, only this time Pat’s revving her motorcycle outside his bedroom. He gets up to drink 2 shots

· Inciting Incident: Same bus, only Ed sees a dramatically fighting couple on a city bus—and the woman looks like a very old, very loved picture of Susan around age 17! After his piece of ridiculously simple advice vaporizes their fight and makes them strangely, gushingly grateful, he shows them his wedding photo, and the woman sees it as a “sign,”—and is sure she’s found her long-lost grandma.

· Dinner in his room – Grace knocks, thrilled she’s found him! Wants another piece of marriage advice and to know more about Susan Sees the alter. Touched. After trying to get her out several ways Ed actually leaves her in the apartment and goes to—

· Lift weights/exercise. Gets annoyed when Pat come in to bike with him, suggests they do a companion app and race—he leaves. Takes refuge in his very heavy Cadillac.

· Now has meals delivered to him in his room b/c everyone is always trying to talk to him.

· Lauren, delivering another meal expresses concern about his psychological state tries to get him to talk. “I’m an analytic psychiatrist, I don’t talk, I listen.” “Well you’re retired now, so doesn’t that shake things up?”

· Grace shows up again. He leaves her in his room again, this time not even trying to talk her first into leaving. He goes out (as Grace plucks a hair from the alter brush) to find—

· Another musical show in the dining room—and now he’s super irritable. Pat follows. “I don’t like music, either, but we’re the most active in this place, how about we have some fun— get out and mountain bike. (As she follows him into his room and sees the river rapids on his wall—jacked: White river raft! (A flicker of something as he looks at the picture— shut down. He screams, kicks her out. (Or goes to hide again in his car?)

· Lock in: Grace has the genetic proof she’s Susan’s granddaughter. Wants more marriage advice. Ed kicks her out, slightly less violently than he did with Pat: Grandmommy is DEAD.

ACT II -MM 3 – tries to “do” the work he feels called to by the disasters of this family’s situation by bringing others in to do that work.

· Ed shows up to deliver the box. You have to give it to Mark they say, he’ll want to talk to you about Susan—besides they’re in the middle of a crisis. Kristian has plugged the toilet. Linda’s barking orders. Grace is clueless. Chris watches a You Tube video, but he’s all brain, no strength. Mike picks the toilet up as Kristian, pleased with the novelty, poops at the hole in the floor and starts tracking feces around the house. High emotional distress b/c of the dysfunctional interpersonal dynamics, Ed feels compelled to help, calls in Walt who comes on Pat’s bike and adeptly handles things as Ed disappears.

· Beat: Ed connects to Kristopher

· Beat: Ed connects to Chris

· Beats – 3 of them as: Ed clearly gets Linda and the dynamics between her and her kids that are keeping them stuck. Annoyed that he sees this b/c it nags him to try to help

· Beats (here and MM4): increasing disaster of this house and household for which he feels responsible – so it’s not just getting the box to Mark, it’s concern about Mike’s marijuana habit, Kristopher’s developmental problems (with a hint of should I call CPS, maybe when Mike’s marijuana is spiked with hallucinogen and he gets psychotic), neighbors witnessing the fights/concerned, Adam/Eve clearly struggling. Ed connects Adam/Eve to Pat, once he realizes the gender ID issues

-MM4 – more trying to do the “love and work” by bringing in others to do it, instead

· After he gets a call that Mark is there, comes again with the box—but Mark has stepped out to (). Grace (Linda egging her on) and Mike fighting, in drenching rain, as they try to save the wedding flowers in the garden, try to get Ed to intervene, like he did so well on the bus, but that was a fluke, he says, he’s never done couples. He knows nothing about flowers. But Eds healer training calls yet again and he CALLS Wade and Judy, who work magic, both with the fight and the flowers-they start by kicking Linda out. Wade, with a grin, shows Mike his bottle of Viagra

*Mike has a psychotic episode from a laced joint (see below)

· Mike’s drug dealer makes a delivery and Ed goes off on him re the laced joint.

· Grace’s asked Ed to come to opening her show (big new donors will be there, her boss, and certainly her dad, Mark). Grace and Mike have a huge fight that gets miked over the show through her headset, as the actors try to continue to act and we learn: Mike’s lost his job, He doesn’t know if he wants to get married, seeing as they never have sex, How can they have sex when his MJ keeps him fro getting an erection. Kristian, unsupervised during this goes running on stage to show the audience the poop on his hands and the theater supporters/Graces boss horrified – will Grace be fired?

· Midpoint: After nearly missing Mark on prior family home visits, Ed meets Mark (who Susan called Albert). But, after intros and niceties, as Ed’s about to give him the box, Mark clutches his chest, gets rushed to the ED. Suddenly the “passing off of the box” feels like more than “checking a box” on Ed’s new bucket list for “transitioning to the next world.” Now he cares about everyone in the family.

· After following to the hospital, Ed runs away from the ED. Outside (finally some personal disclosure) tells Grace her dad having a massive heart attack is a trigger for him. The wedding, too, since he never got to have one. We learn he was was never married to Susan, “it was just a hookup.” Grace kicks him out of her life because she feels deceived.

-MM5 (therapy MM)

· Ed goes to bed in the middle of the afternoon. No fire alarm. No one knocks. No motorcycle. Silence. But he’s not able to sleep. Grace is really struggling—he knows it and the psychiatrist in him can’t walk away. Looks at the alter. He owes it to her to be at the wedding for some reason that we do not yet know.

· Morning (breakfast, for the first time) interactions with Walt, Wade, Pat, Judy, Lauren TBD

·

-MM 6 (bigger, different plan – Ed is finally going to put some of himself into this….but it will fail b/c it’s too little too late)

· House is foreclosing. Need the wedding money for the mortgage.

· Ed gets Pat to drive him over after his car won’t start. Tells Grace, “apologizes. I know I’m a shit, but I can give you money. Linda, who hates all men (and doesn’t want the wedding to happen) refuses. Pat says “I can make a cake.” “You can bake?” :Eve can teach me.” Because of the offer, Grace re-invites him to the wedding.

· Second Turning Point: in a hospital room, surrounded by family/retirement home friends, Mark looks through travel photos from the box, reads Susan’s letter to him aloud (she hopes he didn’t inherit her agoraphobia and could travel as she always wanted). Then, satisfied grin on his face, he dies. Grace cries as her mom, Linda, rages that the “damn dick” was in Grace’s life for a total of two weeks—aside from the 2 minutes he spent siring her. Mike, in typical headset, obliviously plays an iPad shooter game, screen-mirrored on the TV until Linda grabs the controls for “something to shoot.” But the jostling shifts the screen to a video-recorded song from Grace’s Teen Theater production of Finding Neverland: “Play.” People start to slowly sing-and-dance along. But Ed’s been forced back to his own absentee dad’s identical early death and rushes out. (TBD- other ensemble character TP particulars)

Finally answered during crisis/climax: when, after being loved by all these people Ed goes from feeling, loving & working through others, to PLAYING, which frees his soul to fully work and love (and thereby LIVE) himself. For others, too.

· Crisis: having advised Grace to go ahead with the wedding, Ed plans to check off the final box on his new bucket list by attending—then go back to his old life: the death watch. But on The Day, problems arise, deftly handled by retirement home friends. Nevertheless, Grace takes this as the final “sign” (of 3 or 4 so far), that we now learn means she shouldn’t get married. Ed finally breaks his therapeutic frame, and in mutual grieving, they connect as he shares/works through how he “knew” at 11 it was his rock music that killed his dad—on the day he showed back up. How silly. Feeling how very “right” of a grandfather-figure Ed is, (as opposed to her “father figure” father), Grace, finally feels how right Mike is, and can get married. But—

· Climax: …the delay in wedding has given the musicians time to get too stoned to play. A kick-in-the ass prompt by Jewels, and a gentle one by biker-chick, Pat, get Ed to make a phone call, and we see two old hippies leave the warehouse (with instruments) that we (in Mini Movies 1&2) saw Ed go into daily after his graveyard visits—where he routinely blew past Jimi Hendrix’ elaborate grave to get to his wife’s. Next we next see these characters with Ed behind the alter, where Mike and Jewels await. Ed and the other hippy musicians play a Jimi Henderix-esque cover of the Wedding March as a beaming Grace follows Eve (in dresses she designed) and Kristian (very playfully, details TBD) down the isle. Probably, then, there’s another hard cover of a soft love song that gets Grace’s theater kids dancing in the isles.

The above further flushed out:

· Pat show Ed gentle love with a hard-becomes-soft, genuine hug.

· Ed gets on her bike to catch up to Grace, who’s on a swing at the park

· Swinging next to her, Grace tells him the musicians are too stoned to play and it’s clearly the final SIGN that she shouldn’t do this. He tells Grace about his dad dying when he was 11 – how badly that fucked with his brain and that her thinking is similarly flawed. But at least Susan was there for him. “Susan?” Grace asked and, REVEAL: we were in school together. But then she moved and I didn’t hear from her again until I got on this Facetimebook – thing – and then we hooked up. Yeah, I mean, we wanted to to this. (Stars in his eyes) we were planning our wedding, but she died before we could order the flowers. We now know that Ed and Susan were together 9 months, that he was crushed they didn’t have their wedding, that he feels guilty about the sex. So your “hook up” lasted 9 months?—Grace now feels again he IS her grandpa). Her joy over this makes him start to swing, as he recollects for them both, all the joy and play of the wedding preparations they did get to do. She gets off the swing. He jumps off, a little wobbly, but she keeps him upright. Grace says, “There’s somewhere I have to be. I mean, the music—it’s sad. I’m a musician—it was a big part of the wedding. But I really need to do is say ‘I do.’ Asks Ed if he’s going to leave again? Never. Unless you kick me out.

· With Pat and Jewels back at the church, watching Grace’s sadness as she crosses off all the things on the wedding program that won’t happen. “Gosh, if there were only someone with a little music talent,” says Pat (who peeked in/heard him at the warehouse / music shed)

· Ed makes the call to fellow musicians, who emerge from the warehouse with their guitars.

· finally feeling loved and safe (with a little push) he is again able to play his beloved rock music in public—and not only does it not kill anyone, everyone has a blast and Grace and Mike the work of making a love-bond.

Dramatic question:

GRACE: is this lovable, frazzled, hard-working woman going to marry her long-time love who her narcissistic mother hates, and finally move out of her mother’s house (that Grace pays the mortgage for)?

First established:

MM2 Grace and Mike, gushing over each other walk into the house where plenty-abled Linda announces the mortgage is due, and Mike hedges about his upcoming paycheck, Christopher, flat affect, emerges from the basement, reminds everyone he does his part by paying for food, which he gets, taking his plate back downstairs. Grace and Mike move down the hall, fighting again as it becomes clear he’s lost yet another job. Linda, paradoxically smiles.

Increased in Intensity:

· Pat points out that Linda’s perfectly able work

· Ed explains Freud’s definition of psychological health: ability to love and work, which Linda is offended by, taking it to (correctly) mean there’s something psychologically wrong with her.

· Judy points out that Linda is lucky b/c Judy’s generation of women were not able to work.

· Grace’s boss tells her of the high stakes of opening night, big new donors coming

· Neighbors, after watching Grace and Mike fight, comment to Grace and Christopher that it’s time they moved out of their bitchy mother’s house.

· (In Several scenes) Linda bitches about Mike, discourages the wedding, laments that once you marry the guy he takes off

· After Mike gets another job, he gets psychotic on a LSD -laced joint and can’t go to work because he’s obsessed with the poop art his baby is making on the wall and Grace sees there’s no money in the checking account, only in the savings that they were planning for the wedding.

· Grace recognizes, after Ed’s Love and work comment, that her brother, Christopher isn’t working up to his potential because he’s depressed and gently brings this up to him. They bond over this and Christopher points out that she’s working herself to the bone.

Finally answered:

· As she dances/“directs” the video of her kids performing neverland (as a way to cope with the feelings at the deathbed of her dad) she realizes her mother is a Peter Pan who refuses to grow up—and tells Linda to get a job. Off this, Christopher turns to his mother (see below and decides for everyone they’re moving out.

· Grace, Mike, Christopher and Eve shaking hands with a property manager over a duplex they’re renting.

Dramatic Question:

MIKE: is this very loving but marijuana-abusing wicked-good computer gamer with ADHD going to effectively support his impoverished family with a job.

First established: Grace and Mike, gushing over each other walk into the house where plenty-abled Linda announces the mortgage is due, and Mike hedges about his upcoming paycheck. Fesses up he got too distracted (details TBD) and lost his job.

Increased in Intensity

· Weed smoking with increased frequency/amount

· Ed tells him he never treated substance abuse but he knows this is a problem

· Mike gets psychotic on laced joint

· Drug dealer shows up and Ed gives him a thrashing, tells him he’s ruining a good kid

· Mike looks at the mess he encouraged his baby to make while he was tripping and

· Goes to Marijuana Anonymous.

· Then to his doctor with Ed’s psychological report and gets Ritalin

· Does the CBT exercises Ed gave him.

Finally answered

Leaving for work and then AT work (same details as earlier but without the distractibility) and my God, what a difference! Then subsequent scenes and ending series of shots where Mike organizes the start up with the same ability we saw on this job.

Dramatic question:

CHRIS: is this shy, depressed, brilliant computer engineer who’s doing barely enough contract work to buy the family’s food going to finally leave his mother so he can start a relationship with a woman, as he’s always craved.

Increased in Intensity

· Ed tells him he’s depressed and needs a counselor

· His sister says the same (as above) and this love he feels from her, really drives it home.

· He meets Lauren (details TBD) and wants something…

· Gets an offer for a bigger coding job and is tempted

Finally answered: bolstered by his sister’s support of him and having taken Ed’s advice to get a counselor, he tells his mother to “Get out.” And when she says this is her house, it’s always been her house, says, looking at Grace and Mike, “then we will.”

MAIN CONFLICT: ensemble cast members versus their particular internal defenses (and the external forces/people that re-enforce them) that keep people emotionally safe but prevent them from loving/working/playing/growing.

For ED the challenge to his defenses is his sense of responsibility in a new, troubled/chaotic world that demands his expertise, as it opens his heart.

His defenses: sublimation (doing work for others to avoid feeling his own feelings) avoidance/repression/suppression. What he’s given up: enjoyment, connection – but to get that back he must feel grief and guilt, which he doesn’t want. So he consciously uses his defenses to avoid feelings/ growth while Grace/Mike and the rest of the family’s problems trigger his sense of responsibility, slowly overcoming these defenses and forcing him into his feelings as he works, loves and plays.

First shows up: opening. We see the cost of these defenses he choses when he’s powerfully drawn to the music, and a little less to the various manifestations of “playing” of his Home-makes. But he chooses to invoke his defenses and runs away to his room.

Ways it is expressed:

· Susan’s death is fresh and potent, and there’s a sense of powerful loss (alter) he defends against by focusing on his own death (nighttime routine) and avoiding the love and work (with other residents) that would put him at risk for future loss. So there’s:

· Progressive, intentional bolstering of these defenses as he increasingly isolates (taking food to his room, then having it delivered, and finally hiding out in his car, and progressively, if modestly, ups his drinking)

· The realization Susan would have wanted her son to have the box, overcomes his avoidance defense just enough to draw him into the family.

· Then his defense of sublimation, in the face of such overwhelming chaos and need (that he knows how to help) actually gets him increasingly emotionally drawn in, even as he tries to get others to do the work, so he can keep a distance. But Mike’s MJ makes him think of his whisky, Christopher reminds him of his own dysphoria, Grace reminds him of his beloved. The kids capture his heart – kids he was afraid to have himself, to protect “them” from experiencing the loss he did as a kid. THEN:

· The “identical trigger” of Grace’s absentee father dying of an MI as his absentee dad did, forces him to feel his fathers death. And Susan’s, especially since he now cares so much for Grace.

· And the blurting out that they were just “hooking up” and Grace’s subsequent rejection as she misunderstands what he means, creates so much more feeling of loss that he decides to let his defenses down.

What brings it to a boiling point in the Third Act?

Mark is dead. Ed feels terrible for Grace, who’s now kicked him out for something he feels guilty about (sex before marriage). He can no longer avoid all the guilt, sadness from his own life and now that he’s been loved so much by all these people, he’s able to choose to try to make it up to Grace by offering to walk her down the isle. BUT: everything that can go wrong does, and tho nursing home people fix everything, Grace’s hypomanic defense is flooded and she flees to the park. Ed has to bare his soul to her to get her to come back.

Antagonism preventing growth for Grace, Mike and Christopher is internal (defenses) but also externally represented in the dynamic with and person of: Linda, who bonds with Grace over bad men and acts helpless so Christopher won’t leave her. And also in REALTY – that their defenses as a group have put them on the verge of financial ruin (whole family), spiraling addiction (Mike), suicidal thinking (Christopher), utter exhaustion (Grace) and growing distress/developmental failure for the kids.

GRACE: hypomania (keeps way too busy) so she doesn’t have to face that her mother is keeping her from getting her own life for her own selfish purposes, that she does have something great in Mike, but she needs him to get treatment/work, and to overcome the fear of male abandonment that both of her parents have given her. But the hypomania doesn’t solve any of these problems and:

Ways it is expressed:

· They don’t have enough money from her and her brother – escalating from failed bills to risk of foreclosure

· The neighbors think and express she’s nuts to stay with Linda

· She’s running so close to the edge that her boss expresses concern over her frequently being late to work and admonisher her that Opening night of their play must go well (for the new donors in the audience)

· Opening night is ruined by her broadcast fight with Mike that airs all of their dirty laundry and the donors flee

· Linda’s narcissism is increasingly evident to Grace as Ed and the nursing home friends point it out (see above)

What brings it to a boiling point in the Third Act? Having rid herself of the external force (her mother) on her hypomanic defense, she’s able to go ahead with the wedding, until the chaos and feelings flood her emotionally and she flees to the park – where Ed helps her reorganize by sharing his own story.

MIKE: substance abuse keeps him from facing his own sense of failure to do what he wants/ needs and the solution is treatment of his ADHD that causes job failure and encourages the substance use

Ways it’s expressed:

· Increasing frequency, amounts of MJ

· Laced MJ makes him psychotic

· Drug dealer shows up with something better and by now everyone knows his problem is way out of control

· Loses 2 jobs due to the same distractibility sx

What brings it to a boiling point in the Third Act? For Mike it is earlier: seeing his fiance’s distress over her dad causes him to take Ed’s advice and get dual diagnosis treatment, which makes him effective and takes emotional pressure off of Grace, giving her the capacity to boot her mother.

CHRISTOPHER: dysphoria/masochism protects him from feeling pissed at his mother for using him and his sister because he’s always taken care of her, been her emotional ‘husband’.

Ways it’s expressed:

· Like Ed, he takes all meals in the basement

· Like Ed, he wallows over a picture of a former girlfriend

· Like Ed, he avoids offers from various people to get out (after seeing his mother’s apparent distress in each instance), peaking with Lauren

· His mother verbally and physically expresses her malingered “incapability” which he reacts to with rescuing behaviors/words.

What brings it to a boiling point in the Third Act? Also for Christopher this is sooner: when Grace’s reaching out to him bolsters him enough to start seeing a counselor and step up to help her at the second turning point when they all decide to move out.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s For Critique:

What I learned: Where do I even begin?

Title: To Find what Freud Forgot

Genre: Family Comedy; Ensemble

Concept: What if: a piece that Freud forgot can help everyone, no matter their age, live better lives?

Logline: When Ed, a passively suicidal, retired psychiatrist meets a feuding couple on a bus and discovers the woman is the daughter of the son his late wife once gave up for adoption, he and his retirement home buddies get sucked into the family’s dysfunction as the couple attempts (for the 7^th time) to get married, and, as people, from young to old, help Ed discover what Freud forgot, he’s once again able to “love and work”—to help everyone else find whatever piece of this new, improved Living Well Trifecta they’re missing.

Dramatic Question: Can Ed (and everyone around him) figure out how share with the world their love, work and play—or will they continue to wallow in their defenses?

Main Conflict: people versus their protective psychological defenses—that also keep them from growing and living as fully as they can.

Theme: No matter your age, you—and the world—need your love, work and play.

Lead Characters, Emotional Dilemmas and ARCs:

Ed (70’s): a physically-vibrant, widowed, retired psychiatrist goes from passively

suicidal/grief-stuck to “loving and working” -a la Freud, again, now that he can play.

Emotional Dilemma (psychological defense = suppression): knows he hasn’t worked through his dad’s/wife’s deaths—but facing feelings is such hard work!

Part to be changed: avoids his own grief/psychological work

Biggest Fear: if he “plays” someone else will die

Completion of Arc: saves the wedding by stepping in to play the rock music he thought killed his dad when he was 11.

Grace (34): Ed’s late wife’s biological granddaughter, owner of a cash-strapped

children’s theater who’s left her beloved fiancé “at the alter” six times, goes

from commitment-avoidant to making the commitment she and everyone in her

family needs.

Emotional Dilemma (psychological defense = obsession/dissociation)needs/wants to commit but is too scared.

Part to be changed: keeps backing out of her wedding

Biggest Fear: if she marries her beloved he’ll leave like her dad did

Completion of Arc: says “I DO.”

Mike (34): Grace’s fiancé, lovable ADHD all-star computer gamer, can’t keep a job

until, with a little treatment, he partners with Christopher (below) and

investors/advisors from Ed’s nursing home to launch an interactive video game

based startup that (playfully) improves balance, cognition, and social/work

interactions for seniors—and finally gets Grace to marry him.

Emotional Dilemma (psychological defense = distraction/pleasure-seeking)wants/needs to provide for his family but is scared to take the meds that will help him do this.

Part to be changed: scattered, playing too many video games

Biggest Fear: if he takes meds he’ll be a different person

Completion of Arc: runs a start-up

Adam/Eve (11): Grace and Mike’s gender-assigned-at-birth son, becomes who she is.

Emotional Dilemma (psychological defense = projection)thinks her family wants her to be a boy but identifies as a girl.

Part to be changed: trying to be someone she’s not

Biggest Fear: she’ll be rejected if she lives as she is

Completion of Arc: makes the family’s wedding attire, including her own designer dress

Christopher (26) Grace’s half-brother, dysphoric, socially anxious computer engineer

finally emancipates when he falls in love with the activities coordinator at

Ed’s nursing home and starts programming for the start-up.

Emotional Dilemma (psychological defense = avoidance)wants/needs his own life

but feels his mother can’t survive without him constantly around.

Part to be changed: depressed and socially isolated

Biggest Fear: his mother, Linda, can’t make it alone

Completion of Arc: leaves his mother for a girlfriend

More minor characters:

Jewels (68) Grace’s (Change-agent) great aunt divorced hippy minister, helps Ed learn to let himself play (especially the Hendrix-inspired rock he’s forever loved) at the wedding when the hired musicians get stoned. Travels the world with Ed in Mini Movie 8 (Resolution)

Mark (52) Grace’s long-estranged dad, Linda’s Ex Travel Video producer, shows up to meet his daughter Grace before the wedding, then has a heart-attack, and, after being absolved by Grace & seeing the travel pictures and note from his librarian bio-mom saying she hoped he didn’t inherit her agoraphobia and traveled as she always wanted to, dies with a contented smile on his face.

Linda 52, Grace’s narcissistic mother, becomes able, with the help of a bed-bound nun at the nursing home, to love others (as herself) just a little bit more.

Kristian (3) Grace and Mike’s child who does the developmentally-appropriate (but delayed) work of potty-training and talking as he also does what he does best—loving and playing.

Pat (75) Tough Biker-chick who “builds shit,” retirement home neighbor of Ed, makes Adam-Eve a fashion-show stage for her fashion-wear, (gently-her arc) prompts Ed to play at the wedding as she plays harmonica. Builds things for the start-up.

Mary (98) bed-bound nun at Ed’s nursing home, shows up to the wedding on Pat’s motorcycle to help Linda (who’s been coming to her for counsel) be more generous in some yet TBD way that helps the wedding happen.

Wade (retired investment banker) & Judy (80’s) Leave It To Beaver-esque, re-ignite their own love as they help Mike and Grace with a few marriage basics, and finance/partner in the start-up.

Walt (80’s) former construction worker, wheelchair bound nursing home friend of Ed over video, directs the emergency repair of a spewing water pipe in the church before the ceremony, then runs the “DIY Virtual Golden Handyman-Instructor” arm of the business’ work.

Lauren (28) Activities coordinator at the nursing home, finds love with Christopher.

9 Beat Structure (Transformation):

1. Opening: Ed, a super-antsy, strikingly fit old man is on a charter bus with others less-abled, winding through lush grounds to a 5-star retirement estate where Ed leaps out, rushes past others waiting to hear a live folk-band performance, comments, “the doctor must get to his very important work/book”—rushes into his apartment (austere, except a fancy shrine to his deceased wife), which he pays homage to, before jetting past a Freud-style office (but for the computer. On screen: Psychiatry Text Book, page one—otherwise blank). A quick teeth brush, nighttime vitamins, dresses for bed—in a suit. Lies in a coffin-like bed. Crossed hands on chest, eyes closed. Which fly back open, like Bella in Twilight, at an insane pounding on his door. Alive and annoyed—

2. Inciting Incident: Ed sees a dramatically fighting couple on a city bus—and the woman looks like his deceased wife when they married! After his piece of ridiculously simple advice vaporizes their fight and makes them strangely, gushingly grateful, he shows them his wedding photo, and the woman sees it as a “sign,”—and is also sure she’s found her long-lost grandma.

3. Theme: As stated by annoyed hippy biker-chick retirement home-mate, Pat, when he declines her offer of a (bike) ride to the graveyard for his daily visit: “You are stuck in your ruts! Didn’t they teach you how to live in shrink school?”

4. First Turning Point: Grace shows up for the third time at his apartment, distressed over her latest fiancé fight (TBD details harken the TBD TP moment between Grace and Mike). But also with the positive results of a “Grandmommy and Me” genetic test from a hair she snatched off a brush on the shrine last visit. Ed sends her away saying “Grandmommy is DEAD”. But as he picks up the brush, notices the dusty padlocked box on the shelf below. His shaking shifts a label, reveals: “For Albert”. The name she gave Grace’s dad.

5. Midpoint: After nearly missing him on prior family home visits, Ed meets Mark (who Ed’s wife called Albert). But, after intros and niceties, as Ed’s about to give him the box, Mark clutches his chest, gets rushed to the ED. Suddenly the “passing off of the box” feels like more than “checking a box” on Ed’s new bucket list for “transitioning to the next world.” Now he cares about everyone in the family… (TBD: particular MP moments for the other ensemble characters).

6. Second Turning Point: in a hospital room, surrounded by family/retirement home friends, Mark looks through travel photos from the box, reads Susan’s letter to him aloud (she hopes he didn’t inherit her agoraphobia and could travel as she always wanted). Then, satisfied grin on his face, he dies. Grace cries as her mom, Linda, rages that the “damn dick” was in Grace’s life for a total of two weeks—aside from the 2 minutes he spent siring her. Mike, in typical headset, obliviously plays an iPad shooter game, screen-mirrored on the TV until Linda grabs the controls for “something to shoot.” But the jostling shifts the screen to a video-recorded song from Grace’s Teen Theater production of Finding Neverland: “Play.” People start sadly, slowly singing-and-dancing along. But Ed’s been forced back to his own absentee dad’s identical early death and rushes out. (TBD- other ensemble character TP particulars)

7. Crisis: having advised Grace to go ahead with the wedding, Ed plans to check off the final box on his new bucket list by attending—then go back to his old life: his death watch. But on The Day, problems arise, deftly handled by retirement home friends. Nevertheless, Grace takes this as the final “sign” (of 3 or 4 so far), that we now learn means she shouldn’t get married. Ed finally breaks his therapeutic frame, and in mutual grieving, they connect as he shares/works through how he “knew” at 11 it was his rock music that killed his dad—on the day he finally showed back up. Feeling how very “right” of a grandfather-figure Ed is, (as opposed to her “father figure” father), Grace, finally feels how right Mike is, and can get married. But—

8. Climax: …the delay in wedding has given the musicians time to get too stoned to play. A kick-in-the ass prompt by Jewels, and a gentle one by biker-chick, Pat, get Ed to make a phone call, and we see two old hippies leave the warehouse (with instruments) that we (in Mini Movies 1&2) saw Ed go into daily after his graveyard visits—where he routinely blew past Jimi Hendrix’ elaborate grave to get to his wife’s. Next we see these characters with Ed behind the alter, where Mike and Jewels await. Ed and the other hippy musicians play a Jimi Henderix-esque cover of the Wedding March as a beaming Grace follows Eve (in dresses she designed) and Kristian (very playfully, details TBD) down the isle. Probably, then, there’s another hard cover of a soft love song that gets Grace’s theater kids dancing in the isles.

9. Resolution: Series of Shots (not in order): Grace and Mike: on a truly adult honeymoon—no kids in 11 years. Ed and others place flowers on Susan’s grave—then on neighboring Jimi Hendrix’s. Ed and Jewels with the kids in Disneyland, Ed jots book notes as they joyfully take rides. Ed and Jewels putting the kids on a plane to Seattle before getting on another plane. Kids getting picked up by Pat at the airport, then playing with residents at the retirement home. Ed dictating his book into his phone as he and Jewels visit sites in Europe, scattering some of Mark’s ashes in each place. Grace and Miketry drunkenly to scatter ashes from a ziplock into a fountain in Las Vegas, get chased by cops when the wind blows them everywhere. Ed taking a toke from Jewels. Linda at Sister Mary’s bedside: 3 shots, spread over the rest—Linda talking, then crying, then listening. Mike directing (via Zoom from Las Vegas, then at the retirement home) the new start up in an unoccupied unit. Walt, Wade and Judy and others demonstrating balance, etc. exercises for Mike to put into video-game mock-up and Christopher to code. In wheelchair and VR gear from the start-up office, Walt virtually assists several Millennial/Gen X, Z-ers with home projects. Other shots to show the start-up in love/work/play-action, lastly with people around the world doing gaming physical exercises on screens all over the office’s walls (as you see in game-making companies). Eve and Kristian doing their playful kid things. Linda doing something attentive to the kids.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Day 8 Assignment:

Elizabeth’s Pass 2 Story Logic Web

What I learned: iteration is helpful. Critical, actually, for ongoing improvement.

BEFORE:

Concept: Logline: When Ed, a passively suicidal, retired psychiatrist, meets a feuding couple on a bus and discovers the woman is the daughter of the son his late wife gave up for adoption, he and his retirement home friends get sucked into a medley of family of family dysfunction as the couple attempts (for the seventh time) to get married— where everyone, young to old, helps Ed discover what Freud forgot (so he can again “love and work”) and also finds their own missing piece of Freud’s New-And-Improved Living Well Trifecta.

Lead Characters/ARCs:

Ed (70’s): goes from passively suicidal/stuck grief to loving and working again, because he can also play.

Part to be changed: avoids doing his own grief/psychological work

Biggest Fear: if he plays someone else will die

Completion of Arc: when he saves the wedding day by play the rock music he thought killed his dad at his beloved, deceased wife’s granddaughter’s wedding.

Grace (34): goes from commitment-avoidant to making the commitment she and everyone in her family needs.

Part to be changed: keeps backing out of her wedding

Biggest Fear: if she marries her beloved he’ll leave like her dad did

Completion of Arc: says “I DO.”

Mike (34) goes from ADHD ineffectual to running a start-up

Part to be changed: distracted, playing too many video games

Biggest Fear: if he takes meds he’ll be a different person

Completion of Arc: organizes a start-up

Adam/Eve (11):on the edge of adolescence, embraces the gender identity with which she identifies.

Part to be changed: trying to be someone she’s not

Biggest Fear: she’ll be rejected if she lives as she is

Completion of Arc: makes the clothes she, her mom and brother wear at the the wedding.

Christopher (26) goes from living in his mother’s basement to emancipated and programming for the start up.

Part to be changed: depressed and socially isolated

Biggest Fear: his mother, Linda, can’t make it alone.

Completion of Arc: leaves his mother for a girlfriend.

Plot Structure (number and type – and 9 beats)#12 Transformation/Ensemble.

1. Opening: Ed, having skipped past his unfinished work to prepare for, lay in his bed/coffin, dressed to die, gets awoken by an insane pounding on his door.

2. Inciting Incident: Ed helps a fighting couple because the woman is the doppelgänger of his wife on their wedding day, shows them the picture and they agree.

3. Theme: No matter your age, you—and the world—need your love, work and play. Stated by old, hippy biker-chick retirement home-mate, Pat: “I thought they taught you in shrink school how to live a good, happy life.”

4. First Turning Point: Grace requests more relationship help and has a positive “Grandmommy and Me” genetic test which Ed tries to blow off, until he picks up Susan’s beloved box and notices it’s labeled “For Albert,” the name she gave Grace’s dad.

5. Midpoint: Ed finally gets a chance to give Mark/“Albert” Susan’s box, but before he can open it he has a heart attack and gets taken to the ED.

6. Second Turning Point: Mark dies. We learn he’d only been in Grace’s life for the last 2 weeks. This reminds Ed of his own dad’s death, but he can’t yet share this.

7. Crisis: Grace melts down over wedding day problems, sharing this is another sign she thinks means she shouldn’t get married, so Ed finally tells her about his own dad’s death and how he felt he “knew” at 12 that it was his rock music that killed him—the bonding helps Grace realize she should get married, but—

8. Climax: The delay in wedding has given the musicians time to get stoned, so Ed steps up with a Jimi Hendrix-style wedding march and other wedding music.

9. Resolution: Series of Shots: Grace and Mike, on their honeymoon, playing in only “grown-up ways” without their kids. Ed and Jewels with the kids, placing flowers on Susan’s grave—then on neighboring Jimi Hendrix’s (that in MM 1 & 2 he always quickly passed). Ed and Jewels at Disney World (the kids playing with residents at the retirement home), Ed dictating his book into his phone on various rides, and taking a toke from Jewels. Each of the other character resolutions as described in their character loglines above, in whatever order makes sense.

Main Conflict: humans versus their defenses against: humiliation; fear; pain; anger; sadness; habits; confusion

Dramatic Question: Ed (and everyone around him) have so much love, work and joy/play to share with the world, are they going to figure out how or—just continue to spin?

Dilemma of the Main Characters:

Ed: knows he hasn’t worked through his absentee dad’s death—to avoid feeling angry and sad, but heck, it’s so much work! Unless you can make it a little fun…

Grace: has found the love she needs, but can’t shake the fear that it isn’t real/is going to “leave.” Fear/pain—but doing so is the only way to keep what she has.

Mike: His ADHD-driven (bad) habits are keeping him from the efficacy he needs, both for himself and others. But oh, it’s a lot of work to change them!

Mark: running from sadness: being given up for adoption, adoptive parents couldn’t love him, he’s avoided relationships—but what he needs is to feel the sadness and be understood/accepted for who he is, which he can only do in relationship.

Adam/Eve: society’s habits of gender identity/ behavior confuse her and make it hard for her to be who she is. Also, she’s a kid who needs/wants adults to help her, but also has to stand up for herself to get what she needs.

Christopher: Habits and fear keep him depressed (but ‘safe’) and from emancipating, which, obviously he needs.

Linda: Thinks everything is a competition: only you OR me get to “have what I need.” But it’s in giving that we receive… Humility and trust

Kristian: developmentally regressed in the chaos. Needs to communicate his distress in a way his parents hear, not with the habits that annoy people.

Pat: Needs to communicate in a way that doesn’t push people away. But hell, that pisses her off. (habits/anger/humility-being vulnerable/trust)

Mary (98 bed-bound nun): well-worn default is helping others, but needs to ask for help getting back out because she can no longer do it alone. Habit—ha ha.

Wade and Judy out of the habit of remembering/relishing their love, sharing this with young who want to know how to make a long-term relationship work.

Walt has lots to teach the younger folk, but society’s habits preclude access.

Lauren: hangs out with old people out of fear she’ll be rejected by the young people she also needs.

Theme: No matter your age, you—and the world—need your love, work and play.

Discoveries and improvements: I realized I already played with changing these various components during the last few assignments—thanks to Hal’s prior instructions. Here’s what I’ve so far realized: IF I stick with the title and theme – improving Freud’s take on what constitutes psychological health, I probably want to use an older psychiatrist who would have actually practiced Freudian psychology. I could make this charactera woman, but I don’t see any obvious benefit, and more psychiatrists of this age would be male. IF I switched to a female, she’d be, of necessity, a more gritty character (woman in medicine in those days) and may not have ‘as far to go’ for her character arc. I could ‘go at’ this same theme outside of psychiatry, but wouldn’t be able to “write what I know,” which is part of the appeal, given a need to generate a screenplay quickly. In previous days I considered a whole host of different ensemble characters and situations. Those currently selected seem the best I currently know how to. I also think I’m stuck with ensemble, if I use an old psychiatrist, based on Hal’s “market research” I did. People were much more interested if there where also younger characters to “be in.” A buddy triangle (Ed, Grace and Mike) maybe could work, but I’m stumped on a connection between Mike and Ed that would sing with the title/theme/hook.

SO: other conflicts: Man versus nature, man versus God, man versus man don’t fit as well with this “Freud” title/theme/hook as “man versus his defenses”. Also: being able to recognize and choose to not use our defenses is kinda the essence of transformation.

Which led me to add to the plot SPECIFIC defenses—very enlightening and hopefully helpful keeping the second act afloat!:

Ed: suppression and sublimation

Grace: obsession and possibly dissociation

Mike: distraction/pleasure-seeking

Mark: repression

Christopher avoidance

Adam/Eve projection

Kristian: regression

Pat: externalization

Mary: sublimation

And also to consider the possibility of using Maturation instead of transformation, but best I understand, that seems like a slower story that may not be as good for comedy? I also suspect characters being “stuck” works better for Freud/therapy than normal, expected growth. Today I considered sacrifice, which I hadn’t before. Ed sacrificing for younger characters. Interesting idea. Deeper, heavier. Could work for this theme/title/concept—a tweak to focus on selfishness/selflessness rather than “adding play,” but frankly I’m not sure I’m up for it at the moment. Or that I could do it quickly. I also considered Discover, but that’s a different story. Still—a second career as a rockstar at 80!… also considered a different dramatic question: will Ed love again—would need to beef up the Jewels character, but since she’s a transforming character, she’d also need to arc. I feel that’s less unique than “what Freud Missed” and ‘transforming via overcoming various Freudian psychological defenses,” so not inclined to go this way.

Since I was behind on assignments I’ve put the changes into what I posted above and yesterday’s work that I just finished!

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s First Pass

What I learned: I need to finish the rest of the ensemble casts’ arcs but here’s a start… Starting to see how this will help bring everything together.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Logline: When Ed, a passively suicidal, retired psychiatrist, meets a feuding couple on a bus and discovers the woman is the daughter of the son his late wife gave up for adoption, he and his retirement home friends get sucked into a medley of family of family dysfunction as the couple attempts (for the seventh time) to get married— where everyone, young to old, helps Ed discover what Freud forgot (so he can again “love and work”) and also finds their own missing piece of Freud’s New-And-Improved Living Well Trifecta.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Plot Structure (number and type – and 9 beats)<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>#12 <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Transformation/Ensemble.

1. Opening: Ed, having skipped past his unfinished work to prepare for, lay in his bed/coffin, dressed to die, gets awoken by an insane pounding on his door.

2. Inciting Incident: Ed helps a fighting couple because the woman is the doppelgänger of his wife on their wedding day, shows them the picture and they agree.

3. Theme: No matter your age, you—and the world—need your love, work and play. Stated by old, hippy biker-chick retirement home-mate, Pat: “I thought they taught you in shrink school how to live a good, happy life.”

4. First Turning Point: Grace requests more relationship help and has a positive “Grandmommy and Me” genetic test which Ed tries to blow off, until he picks up Susan’s beloved box and notices it’s labeled “For Albert,” the name she gave Grace’s dad.

5. Midpoint: Ed finally gets a chance to give Mark/“Albert” Susan’s box, but before he can open it he has a heart attack and gets taken to the ED.

6. Second Turning Point: Mark dies. We learn he’d only been in Grace’s life for the last 2 weeks. This reminds Ed of his own dad’s death, but he can’t yet share this.

7. Crisis: Grace melts down over wedding day problems, sharing this is another sign she thinks means she shouldn’t get married, so Ed finally tells her about his own dad’s death and how he felt he “knew” at 12 that it was his rock music that killed him—the bonding helps Grace realize she should get married, but—

8. Climax: The delay in wedding has given the musicians time to get stoned, so Ed steps up with a Jimi Hendrix-style wedding march and other wedding music.

9. Resolution: Series of Shots: Grace and Mike, on their honeymoon, playing in only “grown-up ways” without their kids. Ed and Jewels with the kids, placing flowers on Susan’s grave—then on neighboring Jimi Hendrix’s (that in MM 1 & 2 he always quickly passed). Ed and Jewels at Disney World (the kids playing with residents at the retirement home), Ed dictating his book into his phone on various rides, and taking a toke from Jewels. Each of the other character resolutions as described in their character loglines above, in whatever order makes sense.

Lead Characters/ARCs:

Ed (70’s): goes from passively suicidal/stuck grief to loving and working again, because he can also play.

Part to be changed: avoids doing his own grief/psychological work

Biggest Fear: if he plays someone else will die

Completion of Arc: when he saves the wedding day by play the rock music he thought killed his dad at his beloved, deceased wife’s granddaughter’s wedding.

Grace (34): goes from commitment-avoidant to making the commitment she and everyone in her family needs.

Part to be changed: keeps backing out of her wedding

Biggest Fear: if she marries her beloved he’ll leave like her dad did

Completion of Arc: says “I DO.”

Mike (34) goes from ADHD ineffectual to running a start-up

Part to be changed: distracted, playing too many video games

Biggest Fear: if he takes meds he’ll be a different person

Completion of Arc: organizes a start-up

Adam/Eve (11):on the edge of adolescence, embraces the gender identity with which she identifies.

Part to be changed: trying to be someone she’s not

Biggest Fear: she’ll be rejected if she lives as she is

Completion of Arc: makes the clothes she, her mom and brother wear at the the wedding.

Christopher (26) goes from living in his mother’s basement to emancipated and programming for the start up.

Part to be changed: depressed and socially isolated

Biggest Fear: his mother, Linda, can’t make it alone.

Completion of Arc: leaves his mother for a girlfriend.

1.

INT/EXT. LUXURY RETIREMENT HOME (GARDENS BY THE WATER)

Ed’s antsy, hurries to his room, pays homage to dead wife’s alter then to bed as he waits to die.

18.

INT. CITY BUS – DAY

Ed stops wife’s doppelgänger, Grace’s fight with forever-fiancé Mike and shares his wedding picture

41. LOCKIN

INT. ED’S APARTMENT

Grace seeks help with most recent fight, shares the genetic test. Ed see’s wife’s box is for her son.

58.

INT. LINDA’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Mark clutches his chest as Ed tries to give him Susan’s box—and gets rushed to the ED.

70. BREAK INTO III

INT. MARK’S HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

When Mark dies, contented by what’s in Susan’s box, we learn he was never in Grace’s life until 2 weeks ago.

84. SERIES OF SHOTS – RESOLUTION

EXT. DISNEYWORLD – DAY

Ed and Eve talking MOS in a Ferris Wheel cart. Kristian and Jewels playing, happy in the cart behind.

Stopped at the top—something Eve said—Ed pulls out, writes in a notebook: Psychiatric Text, tucks it. Takes Eve’s hand and shouts for joy when the Wheel moves again.

EXT. LAS VEGAS RESORT – POOLSIDE – SAME TIME

In swimwear with drinks, Grace and Mike celebrate, grown-ups without kids for the first time in 11 years.

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER- DAY – LATER

An apartment-turned office. Start Up sign. Video, VR equipment, screens. Mike directs via Zoom from Vegas hotel room.

Christopher codes, Wade, Judy, Walt, Pat: work (TBD). Lauren with refreshments, extra smile for Christopher.

EXT. DISNEYWORLD – SAME

Ed, Eve, Jewels and Kristian on “It’s a Small World.”

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – SISTER MARY’S ROOM – SAME

Linda talking to Sister Mary – trays from breakfast, lunch. They’ve been at it for awhile.

INT. DISNEY HOTEL – NIGHT

Ed and Jewels tuck the kids into bed. Ed jots a few book notes before they hit the—

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Bar. Talking. It’s nice.

INT GARDENS BY THE WATER – STARTUP OFFICE – DAY

Residents and Lauren demonstrate hand-eye, sit-to-stand, mobility exercises. Zoom screen from Vegas: Mike’s vision for Wii-like video game exercise. Christopher nods, codes.

INT. OSCEOLA AIRPORT – DAY

Judy and Pat wave as Kristian and Eve head down tarmac, rush to another gate and board their own plane.

INT. SEATTLE AIRPORT – DAY

Judy and Pat take Kristian and Eve from airline worker.

EXT. SEATTLE FREEWAY —DAY

Pat drives Judy and kids in a sedan with biker stickers.

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – KITCHEN – LATER

Kids make cookies with staff and residents.

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – SISTER MARY’S ROOM – EVENING

Linda stops talking, cries. Mary’s expression: healing.

EXT. THE EIFEL TOWER – SAME

Ed and Jewels. Intimacy slowly growing. Urn of Mark’s ashes—they scatter a few.

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER- DINING AREA – SAME

Eve and Kristian enjoy live folk music with residents.

EXT. VATICAN CITY – DAY

Ed and Jewels take it in. Discretely scatter more ashes.

EXT. LAS VEGAS – BELLAGIO HOTEL – AFTERNOON

Grace with ziplock labeled: DAD. Wind spreads the wad of ashes Mike dumps into the fountain, attracting police.

Mike and Grace flee.

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER- SISTER MARY’S ROOM – NIGHT

Trays from dinner. Linda listens to Sister Mary, relaxed. Alive. Sister Mary gets sleepy.

Linda tucks Sister Mary in. Gathers candies on dinner tray

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – DINING AREA – EVENING

-joins the rest of her family for, this time a play. Hands the kids the candy—a little intimacy.

EXT. – AMSTERDAM – SAME

Jewles smokes marijuana. Offers—and Ed tokes. Grins.

INT. – HONEYMOON SUITE – SAME

Fancy bath. Grace and Mike, bubbles everywhere.

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – START UP OFFICE – DAY

Mike, Christopher watch as Walt- in wheelchair and VR headset, guides 3 different Millennials/Gen Z’er homeowners in different DIY home repair projects as–

In background, other residents record the daily playful exercises with older, younger, disabled people zoomed on screens all over the office—from all around the world

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Outline of Crazy, Stupid Love

What I learned: can’t even begin to list. I know I’ll be referencing this as I create my own outline.

Dramatic Question: Will Cal and Emily work through the hard stuff and stay together?

Main Conflict: Cal and Emily versus their painful realizations/feelings of life and their current coping.

Dilemma: at midlife, they’re comfortable/lazy in their relationship, but need work to keep it together.

Theme: never give up on your soulmate

1. INT. BAR – NIGHT

Couples in nice shoes play footsies beneath tables. CAL WEAVER (40’s) and his wife, EMILY (40’s) in ratty shoes do not. She tells him she wants a divorce.

2. INT. WEAVER HOME – NIGHT

Babysitter JESSICA (17) shatters Cal and Emily’s wedding photo, wrestling MOLLY (9), sends Molly to bed and smittingly gazes at Cal, hand covering Emily.

3.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Cal and Emily distressed but Emily can’t get Cal to talk.

4.

INT. WEAVER HOME – HALLWAY/ROBBIE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Jessica walks in on ROBBIE WEAVER (13) masturbating. Apologizes. Is wigged.

5.

INT. ROBBIE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Robbie’s mortified.

6.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Their usual dynamic: he’s silent, she talks, blurts she slept with David Linhagen, still talking when he threatens to, then does open the door and roll out.

7.

EXT. SUBURBAN STREET – NIGHT

Emily comes to see he’s okay. He says he’ll leave tonight—just stop talking.

8.

INT. WEAVER HOME – NIGHT

Jessica tidying as Robbie enters to say they’re soulmates, he loves her, their age difference won’t matter soon as—

Emily and Cal enter, Cal announcing the divorce and that he jumped out of a car as Emily talks “normal” to Jessica about the kids’ night, ushers Robbie to bed.

9.

INT. UPSCALE BAR – NIGHT

HANNAH (24), an attorney, at a table with friend, LIZ (29) who accuses her of having a PG 13 life as cool, sexy, JACOB PALMER (32) checks her out.

10.

INT. UPSCALE BAR – NIGHT

On Jacob’s shiny shoes as he struts the room toward—

11.

INT. UPSCALE BAR – NIGHT

Emily and Hannah, for sexy-banter, until Hannah, though attracted decides to leave. Jacob watches on—still confident. Interested.

12.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Cal drives Jessica home, oblivious she’s hot for him, interrupts as she’s saying she has a crush to ask she not mention the divorce to her folks. He knows them.

13.

EXT. SUBURBAN STREET – NIGHT

Leaves her staring longing, sad.

14.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Cal, slovenly amongst the stylish, drinks cranberry juice, as he broadcasts his woes to people who don’t care, notices Jacob with adoring women.

15.

INT. OFFICE BUILDING – DAY

Concerned office mates cheer that he’s “just getting divorced,” not dying.

16.

EXT. WEAVER HOME – DAY

Moving day, after a rain. Emily tries to dig into their problems as Cal explains how to turn off the sprinklers, blames their distance entirely on the affair, drives off.

17.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Frumpy Cal with cranberry watches Jacob score as Jessica’s Dad, BERNIE (late 40s) brings cologne, leaves saying his wife has chosen Emily’s for them. Jacob watching, and as—

18.

INT. BAR – NIGHT – LATER (MINUTE 18 – THE CALL—ARE YOU IN OR ARE YOU OUT)

Jacob’s bothered, watching Cal’s tell the air his woes. And the clothes! Tells him he’s an idiot, offers to find his manhood—maybe because he reminds him of someone.

19.

INT. CAL’S APARTMENT — DAY

Robbie tries to tell Cal about his own love woes as Jessica arrives to babysit, who tries to come on to oblivious Cal as Molly dances to the TV, oblivious.

Cal leaves, Robbie begs—I love you so much. Please.

20.

INT. MALL – DAY

Frumpy Cal enters the mall, oblivious past a restaurant where—

21.

INT. MALL – MEXICAN GRILL – DAY

Hannah and friends. “Nice” lawyer boyfriend/boss makes her think he’ll propose at their next group gathering, once she’s passed the bar. Liz finds this depressing.

22.

EXT. MALL- WALKWAY – DAY

Cooler-than-life Jacob watches very uncool Cal shuffle up late, slaps him and throws his tennis shoes over the rail.

23.

INT. SHOE SHOP – DAY

Jacob takes Cal’s credit card.

24.

INT. CLOTHING SHOP – DAY

Shirts and ties

25.

INT. GLASSES SHOP – DAY

Jacob continues to insult Cal as they shop.

26.

INT. CLOTHING SHOP – DAY

More shirts and ties.

27.

INT. SKINCARE SHOP – DAY

More insults and credit swipes.

28.

INT. SUIT-SHOP – DAY

Signs a receipt

29.

INT. SUIT-SHOP – DAY

Tailoring. Another slap. Empty wallet. Insults. Cal suggests the Gap for jeans and Cal leaves.

30.

INT. MALL WALKWAY – DAY

Cal pursues. Jacob slaps, makes Cal say he’s better than the Gap.

31.

INT. HAIR SALON – DAY

Haircut. Dresses in new clothes as Jacob makes date with his stylist, who then agrees she’d sleep with Cal—until he says self-deprecating things. Jacob tells Cal his wife cheated because he lost sight of who he was as a man, a husband, and probably as a lover—and Cal admits it’s true.

32.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

In new look, Cal confesses he’s only slept with one woman. Cal bumbles, watches Cal score with numerous women before sexy one approaches him—to give him the check.

33.

INT- EMILY’S OFFICE – DAY

Unhappy Emily copies ‘Divorce for Dummies’ has been avoiding David who comes to say he’s in love with her, which she discourages.

34.

INT. CLASSROOM – DAY

Teacher writes The Scarlet Letter on chalkboard as Robbie texts his age-difference case to Jessica, who—

35.

INT. SCHOOL LOCKER AREA – DAY

Replies he’s making her uncomfortable which he—

36.

INT. CLASSROOM – DAY

Reads as teacher discussing adulteress behavior, calls on him, so he says the A stands for assholes who fall in love

37.

INT. SCHOOL COUNSELOR’S OFFICE – DAY

Counselor recommends swear jar to Emily who leaves with Robbie to—

38.

INT. EMILY’S OFFICE – DAY

Return to work. Emily asks Robbie about Cal, learns he’s sad, going out a lot. Robbie googled ‘Sad mom,’ got porn.

Trying to bond, David’s dissed by Robbie who predicts Emily will end up with better-guy Cal, who won’t give up, like he won’t with Jessica, because of love.

39.

INT. GYM – DAY

Various scenes of Cal listening, at croch-level to Jacob advocate men taking what they want from women. Passes out.

40.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Jacob pronounces Cal ready, points out woman looking to settle as Cal recites “The Game” pick-up artist rules he’s learned, reluctantly removes ring.

Cal meets KATE, dismisses Jacob. Insults fail but during a fit of honest she responds to the one Jacob-line and they—

41.

INT. CAL’S APARTMENT – NIGHT LOCK IN (MINUTE 44)

Have steamy sex, because of/despite his honesty.

42.

EXT. CAL’S APARTMENT – DAY

Promises to cal Kate as she leaves, then—

43.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

The Game Graduate makes moves on many women, good as Jacob, leaves with one. Jacob smiles. He’s done it.

44.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Jacob and Cal bond over their sameness as Liz calls Hannah, says hot guy is here. Hannah won’t take a break.

45.

INT. JESSICA’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Her mom gossips Cal’s become a ladies man. WE were right to choose Emily.

46.

INT. SCHOOL HALL – DAY

School slut tells Jessica to send Cal a dirty picture.

47.

EXT. SCHOOL COURTYARD – DAY

Jessica joins crowd as Robbie proclaims his love, crushes him by revealing she loves someone else.

48.

EXT. WEAVER YARD – DAY

Emily snips roses, licks lips at David who mows lawn but—

29.

INT. CAL’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Cal gasps awake -its really his nightmare.

30.

EXT. WEAVER YARD – NIGHT

Cal jumps hedge to tend to the yard.

31.

EXT. PARK – DAY

Robbie tells Cal about his soulmate as they play catch, is advised to not give up, tells his dad to get his mom back.

32.

INT. SCHOOL – NIGHT

Cal Gets complimented for his looks by Emily waiting for teacher conference, re-bond a bit. Miss each other. Cal’s mad at himself, too because he didn’t fight for her. But—

Teacher opens door and it’s Kate, who he slept with

34.

INT. CLASSROOM – NIGHT

Cal tries to dodge but reveals with a replay of Robbie’s asshole speech.

35.

EXT. SCHOOL – NIGHT

Possible she can work with this until he reveals he’s slept with 9 women. Possible she can work with this because he was trying to move on but doesn’t want to.

Until Kate shares the “perfect combo of sexy and cute” line, and both wonder who he is and if soulmate is clique

36.

INT. JACOB’S PENTHOUSE – NIGHT

Eating cereal alone.

37.

INT. CAR – NIGHT – SAME

Emily alone.

38.

EXT. SCHOOL – NIGHT -SAME – MIDPOINT

Cal getting drenched alone. All solo scenes-it’s raining.

39.

INT. MALL – MEXICAN GRILL – NIGHT

Hannah celebrates passing the bar with same attorney friends from before. The announcement isn’t a marriage proposal but an offer to join the firm.

Hannah sucks down a drink, hi-five’s Liz and leaves—

40.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

-Arrives drenched and kisses Jacob. Take me home.

41.

INT. JACOB’S PENTHOUSE – NIGHT

Nervous, trying to not be PG 13 (no sex, pull covers up on her), Hanna’s vulnerable-but calling-out-of-his-Moves, throws him off. But the big one gets them to the bedroom.

42.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Cal can’t find his mentor.

43.

INT. JACOB’S BEDROOM

Hannah’s nervous tittering and objectification of him interrupts natural chemistry, predicts he has a stupid massage chair and they bond over the humor and—

44.

INT. JACOB’S GARAGE

Hannah tries, hates the chair but, now they’re chatting—

45.

INT. JACOB’S BEDROOM – SERIES OF SHOTS -MIDPOINT (1:14)

-back in bed laughing, TALKING. Connecting. Sharing. Dad dead, was too soft, sensitive, couldn’t handle vain, cold mom. Falls asleep, she pulls his covers up.

Phone messages: Cal

46.

INT – BAR – NIGHT

Cal leaves yet another message for Jacob. Needs him.

47.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT — NIGHT

Emily and David try to connect.

48.

EXT. WEAVER HOME -NIGHT

Jessica opens the door on Emily/David awkward kiss, says kids stay awake to see dad. Declines slutty money.

49.

INT. JESSICA’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Jessica takes slutty photos for Cal as we alternate with—

50.

EXT. SUBURBAN STREET – NIGHT

Robbie bikes flowers to Jessica’s house.

51.

EXT WEAVER HOUSE – NIGHT

Cal cleans yard, watches family. Answers Emily’s, watches her pretends to follow his gentle instructions to re-set the water heater. They really love each other.

52.

INT. HARDWARE STORE – DAY

Cal and kids buy supplies for wife, blows off Jessica’s dad as he once blew off Cal. He’s got a plan.

53.

INTERCUT – EXT. WEAVER HOUSE/INT. WINE-SHOP – DAY

Cal builds something, takes Jacob’s call to learn about Game-changer girl, advises him to not be himself, meeting her mother. Hannah bites Jacob shoulder, no longer PG-13.

54.

INT. JESSICA’S HOUSE – DAY

Jessica’s mother finds photos in envelop for Cal.

55.

INTERCUT – EXT. WEAVER HOUSE/ INT. JESSICA’S HOUSE

Jessica’s mother show’s her dad who races out, Jessica racing after to Weaver’s as—

Emily arrives home, gets blindfolded by Robbie, led to re-enactment of their miniature golf romantic recollection of their meet as their other daughter, Hanna shows up with Jacob, who does not approve as—

56.

EXT. WEAVER HOME – DAY

Jessica’s dad jumps Cal, Jacob intervenes. Robbie hears Jessica tell her dad Cal didn’t even know she was in love with him as David shows up with Emily’s sweater and

Jacob attacks David and the rest of the guys go back at it until—

Cops tell them to keep fights inside, in the family. Jessica and her dad leave. Robbie watches longingly.

57.

EXT. WEAVER HOME – DAY

Cal calls out Jacob as womanizer, tells Hannah not to see him. She leaves with Jacob, Cal leaves Emily with David, Robbie tells him to go home.

58.

EXT. SCHOOL – DAY

Robbie deletes Jessica’s contact.

59.

INT. JESSICA’S HOUSE – DAY

Jessica sad on her bed

60.

INT. JACOB’S PENTHOUSE – DAY

Jacob encourages Hannah to call her dad.

61.

INT. EMILY’S OFFICE – DAY

Emily’s not happy.

62.

EXT. SCHOOL – DAY

Cal waits for Robbie who’s not happy.

63.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Cal drinking as Jacob enters, Roles reversed. Reminds Cal of Robbie’s 8th grade graduation, confesses his love. They agree Hannah is too good for him. Jacob’s changed.

64.

INT. SCHOOL – NIGHT

Family with Jacob, Cal alone. Cal interrupts Robbie’s morose speech about the hopelessness of one true love.

Tells the story of meeting his soul-mate at 15, that he’s loved her every day since and I will never stop trying.

Applause when Robbie confesses he still loves Jessica.

65.

EXT. SCHOOL – DAY

Hanna and Cal hug, make-up. Jacob, too, slaps him.

Robbie, more grown up—and Jessica sense a future possibility, Jessica gives him the pictures.

Cal and Emily together, laugh, watching their kids. Robbie watching sees there’s possibility of a reunited future.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Basic Structure

What I’ve learned: is to GO FAST, as Hal’s always saying (but I’ve had a hard time trying). Because it helps me overcome my perfectionism that slows me WAY WAY down.

Opening: Ed, a super-antsy, strikingly fit old man is on a charter bus with others less-abled, winding through lush grounds to a 5-star retirement estate where Ed leap out, rushes past other old friends waiting to hear a fancy live folk-band performance, everyone commenting “the doctor must be hurrying to his very important work/book”—rushes into his apartment (contrastingly austere, except the fancy shrine to his deceased wife), which he pays elaborate homage to, before jetting past a Freud-style office (But with a computer. It’s screen: Psychiatry Text Book, page one (completely blank). A quick brush of his teeth, nighttime meds (just vitamins), dresses for bed—in a 3 piece suit, then lies down in something that looks like it’s meant to taken directly out and used as a coffin. He crosses his hands over his chest, closes his eyes, only to have them fly back open like Bella in Twilight, as he’s thoroughly alive and majorly annoyed — by an insane pounding on his door.

Inciting Incident: Ed sees a couple dramatically fighting on a city bus—and the woman looks just like his deceased wife when they married! Despite having avoided “couple work” professionally, he protectively tries to help with a piece of ridiculously simple advice—that vaporizes the fight and makes the couple strangely, gushingly grateful. After which, at a loss for words, he shows them his wedding photo and the woman gloms on like glue, saying it’s a “sign”!(a running gag. We don’t know what this means). But, we do know she’s positive she’s found her long-lost grandmother.

Theme: No matter your age, you—and the world—need your love, work and play.

Theme Stated/Know what the movie is about by Pg. 10): old, hippy biker-chick retirement home-mate, Pat, sees Ed at the bus stop, asks why he goes every single day to his wife’s grave, then offers to take him on her motorcycle. Offended when he declines, she calls him “a boring, old goat,” and, over the exciting roar of the bike, “I thought they taught you in shrink school how to live a good, happy life.”

First Turning Point: Grace shows up for the third time at his apartment, distressed, as always, over her latest fight with her fiancé (TBD details harken the TBD TP moment between Grace and Mike). But also with the positive results of a “Grandmommy and Me” genetic test from a hair she snatched off a brush on the shrine, last visit. Ed sends her away with the (running gag) he’s never done couple’s counseling—and by reminding her “Grandmommy is DEAD”. But as he picks up the brush from the shrine, he notices the dusty padlocked box on the shelf below. Picks it up. Shakes. Has never’s wanted to invade Susan’s privacy (or maybe, been afraid of what’s in it). The shaking’s revealed a label beneath a label: “For Albert.”

Midpoint: After “nearly missing” him on many visits to the family home (Ed’s beginning to wonder if Grace’s dad/Susan’s son is real) Mark (who Susan called Albert) shows up. But, after intros and niceties, as Ed’s about to give the man Susan’s box, Mark suddenly clutches his chest and is rushed to the ED. Shaken, the “passing off of the box” now feels like more to Ed than just “checking a box” on the new bucket list he’s made to help him “transition” to the next world. He’s come to really care about Grace, Mike, the rest of the family… (TBD: particular MP moments for the other ensemble characters)

Second Turning Point: in a hospital, surrounded by family and retirement home friends, Mark looks through travel photos from the box (see his character logline, earlier assignment, to understand this), reads Susan’s letter to him aloud before he shockingly, with a thoroughly satisfied grin on his face—dies. Grace cries as Linda rages that the “damn dick” was only in Grace’s life for a total of two weeks—aside from the 2 minutes it spent siring her. Mike, in typical headset, is obliviously playing a iPad shooter game, screen-mirrored on the TV, clues in that something is amiss when Linda grabs the controls for “something to shoot.” Except—the jostling shifts the screen to the video-recording of Grace’s Teen Theater production: the song “Play”from Finding Neverland. And everyone but Ed and Mark, start to movingly sing-and-dance, along. Which is too much for Ed, who’s been forced back, back, to his own absentee dad’s identical early death. Still unable to break his stiff-analytic-‘frame’- way of connecting to everyone, he rushes out. (TBD- other character TP particulars)

Crisis: having advised Grace to go ahead with the wedding, Ed plans to check off the final box on his new bucket list by attending the ceremony—so he can return to his old, quiet life: his death watch. On the wedding day, multiple problems arise—and get handled by retirement home characters—but Grace takes this as the final “sign” (of 3 or 4 so far), that we now learn means she shouldn’t get married. Ed finally breaks his therapeutic frame. In a mutual grieving, tearful conversation, he shares/works through how he “knew” at 12: that it was his rock music that killed his dad, on the very day he finally showed back up. Feeling how “right” of a grandfather figure Ed is, (as opposed to her “father figure” father), Grace, finally feels how right Mike is, and can get married.

Climax: The delay in wedding (from everything above) has given the musicians time to get stoned, and unable to play. A kick-in-the ass prompt by Jewels, and a gentle one by biker-chick, Pat, gets Ed to make a phone call, and we see two old hippies, with musical instruments, leave the warehouse we (in Mini Movies 1&2) saw Ed go into daily. Next we see them with Ed behind the alter, where Mike and Jewels (a transforming character/minister, hint-of-a future romance for Ed) await. Ed and the other hippy musicians play a Jimi Henderix-esque cover of the Wedding March as a beaming Grace follows her kids: 12 year old Adam-turned-Eve (in dresses A-E designed) and 3 year-old Kristian (very playfully, details TBD) down the isle. (Possibly also a musical dancing/singing of Grace’s theater kids in the audience to a classic rock version of some gentle love song) during the kiss.

Resolution: Series of Shots: Grace and Mike, on their honeymoon, playing in only “grown-up ways” without their kids. Ed and Jewels with the kids, placing flowers on Susan’s grave—then on neighboring Jimi Hendrix’s (that in MM 1 & 2 he always quickly passed). Ed and Jewels at Disney World (the kids playing with residents at the retirement home), Ed dictating his book into his phone on various rides, and taking a toke from Jewels. Each of the other character resolutions as described in their character loglines above, in whatever order makes sense.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Character Structure

What I learned: Yet, again, I’m humbled by how Hal’s structured approach helps bring into focus things that seem impossibly vague. I’m going to continue to just show up and follow the program. Thanks!

Concept:

Title: To Find What Freud Forgot

Genre: Family Comedy

When a retired, passively suicidal psychiatrist meets a feuding couple on a bus and discovers the woman is the daughter of the son his late wife gave up for adoption, he (and his nursing home friends) get sucked into the pandemonium of family’s dysfunction as the couple attempts, for the seventh time, to get married, during which he finally discovers what Freud forgot which lets him (again—and better) “love and work,” as he helps everyone around, from young to old, find pieces of the Living Well Trifecta that they, too, are missing.

Character Structure:

The (ever-challenging and I’m probably insane): ENSEMBLE

Ed (72) is a rigid, retired, childless, passively-suicidal psychiatrist with unresolved grief over his father and wife’s deaths, who finally works through his own issues when he gets caught up in the chaotic dysfunction of the family of his widow’s adopted-out son, where he not only remembers and improves how he loves and works, but learns how to play.

Grace (30’s) (Ed’s late wife’s biological granddaughter)is a brilliant actress and owner of a cash-strapped children’s theater who, after leaving her beloved fiancé “at the alter” six times, works through her daddy-related commitment (love) neurosis, when both her absentee father and the husband of his biological mother unexpectedly show up right before her wedding—and work through their own issues.

Mike (30’s) (Grace’s fiancé) is a lovable all-star computer gamer whose ADHD keeps getting him fired who, with a little treatment, is able to partner with a finance-wizard and other investors and advisors from Ed’s nursing home to launch an interactive video game startup (work) that will improve balance, cognition, and social interaction in seniors—and finally gets Grace to marry him.

Jewels (68) Grace’s (Change-agent) great aunt is a divorced hippy (and otherwise non-conventional) minister who helps Ed learn to let himself play, especially the Hendrix-inspired rock he’s forever loved (and hidden, after he concluded, at age 11 that it caused his dad’s fatal heart attack), which, when the hired musicians show up stoned , he does at the wedding—before Jewels gets him traveling with her (Mini Movie 8) around the world.

More Minor Characters:

Mark (52) Grace’s long-estranged dad, Linda’s Ex world-traveling travel video producer, shows up to meet Grace for the first time before the wedding, only to have a heart-attack and, after being absolved by Grace, and breaking a lock on a box Ed gives him to see all the book-photocopies of scenes from around the world his librarian bio-mom collected, and a note saying she hoped he (Mark) didn’t inherit her agoraphobia and took the trips she always wanted to—dies with a contented smile on his face.

Adam-Eve (11) Grace’s birth gender-assigned son learns to love herself and play as she’d like, when Ed helps her embrace who she is.

Christopher (25), Grace’s half-brother is a dysphoric, socially anxious computer engineer who finally emancipates from his mother’s basement when he falls in love with the activities coordinator at Ed’s nursing home and begins programming for the start-up (see above).

Linda 52, Grace’s narcissistic mother, is able, with the help of a bed-bound nun at the nursing home, learn to love others (as herself) just a little bit more.

Kristian (3) is Grace and Mike’s child who does the developmentally-appropriate (but delayed) work of potty-training and talking as he also does what he does best—loving and playing.

Pat (75) Rich Biker-chick who “builds shit,” nursing/retirement home neighbor of Ed, builds Adam-Eve a fashion-show stage for her dance-wear line, before playing harmonica at the wedding and funding the start-up (Work and love).

Mary (98) bed-bound nun at Ed’s nursing home who shows up to the wedding on Pat’s motorcycle to help Linda (who’s been coming to the nursing home to get narcissistic mirroring from her) be more generous in some yet TBD, important way that allows the wedding to go forward. (Work and love)

Wade (retired investment banker) & Judy (homemaker) (80’s) Leave It To Beaver-esque, re-ignite their own love as they help Mike and Grace with a few marriage basics, help with the wedding and partner in the start-up. (Work and Love).

Walt (80’s) former construction worker, wheelchair-bound nursing home friend of Ed who, over video, directs the emergency repair of a spewing water pipe in the church immediately before the ceremony, finances the start-up and runs (MM8) the “DIY Virtual Golden Handyman-Instructor” arm of the business work, directing similar fix-its in a series-of-shots for repair-clueless Millennials around the world.

Lauren (28) Activities coordinator at the nursing home, finds love with Christopher.

Summary Paragraph:

In a nursing home, surrounded by the variously-abled of his generation, Ed, a shy, physically-vibrant but rigid and passively-suicidal retired psychiatrist is squandering his days, obsessed with rejoining his beloved, deceased wife, Susan—when a train-trip to her gravesite (also Jimi Hendrix’s) interrupts his deathwatch. A girl he meets (Grace) looks just like his one-time bride! When Ed discovers Grace’s father is Susan’s illegitimate adopted-out son (and realizes he can fulfill his wife’s life-long wish of giving him a secret box), he gets lured into her large, chaotic family. As he tries to help with their quirky psychological needs, he realizes, “if you’re ‘still kicking,’ there’s love and work (a la Freud) to be done,” and inspires (as he once did in practice) his nursing home companions to overcome what’s in their way—so they, too, can help. But just as everyone (especially an eccentric great aunt with eyes for Ed) is re-awakening Ed’s long-dormant sense of play (What Freud, too, forgot), Grace’s newly resurfaced father unexpectedly dies, which forces Ed to finally work through his own dad’s untimely death (that led him to give up the rock-and-roll he thought killed him) as he helps Grace with her commitment issues. Finally, as Grace, after 6 failed attempts, is about to say “I do,” a myriad of wedding-day problems get managed by the various members of the “family” Ed’s finally forged for himself, punctuated by him playing a rousing Jimi Hendrix-style Wedding March after the musicians get stoned. Now that everyone is able to “love and work and play,” the resulting friendships and partnerships, between folks of all ages, lead to some unconventional ways in which Ed’s nursing home friends will again infuse everything they know, have and are, into a world that’s desperate for them.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Hi, Elizabeth Koenig here. I’m a psychiatrist married to a psychiatrist (it’s been a hoot).

But, more relevantly: about 15 years ago I became seriously concerned about the risk of pandemic viruses—and the research that was being done on them. So I wrote a (horrible) novel to raise awareness. I then wrote a second and third draft before turning to screenplay to figure out what I was doing wrong.

Thanks to Hal’s (and others’) genre classes, I currently have 4 partially completed screenplays. I have three other projects plotted, and lots of ideas. For me figuring out which idea I “should do” is especially hard. But I need to finish one, guys. I really do. So if anyone has ideas…

Interesting thing? Well, back to that novel.

Because I was very afraid my infectious disease, public health, virologist, epidemiologist, etc. colleagues would complain, “well that isn’t how a pandemic would play out,” I researched obsessively.

Then, when I was finally half-way through the screenplay, the first known cases of endemic US COVID showed up at the hospitals my husband administers (Seattle area).

Well, things didn’t exactly ‘roll out’ like my research ‘said’ they would. In what was (for me, at least ) an absolutely, unexpected vacuum, I had the surreal experience of (as a psychiatrist) connecting my husband with all the experts I’d found researching a YA novel—and pulling treatment information, as it was being discovered, from health care providers around the world.

There’s a documentary here, I’m sure. If any one is less exhausted by this than I…

Anyway, I am so excited to “meet,” and learn from, and grow with you all!

[Elizabeth Koenig]

I, Elizabeth Koenig, agree to the terms of this release form: GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

I learned: even when I’ve heard Hal talk about a particular concept before, each teleconference teaches me something new—and deepens whatever limited understanding I already ‘had.’ So I need to just keep listening. And DOING the work. And reading what you all have to say, because—what gifts! You’ve all just summarized the many gold nuggets in that presentation! Thank you, everyone. I’m so looking forward to meeting, learning and growing with you…

Elizabeth Koenig

[Elizabeth Koenig]

What I learned: as always, I feel in good hands with Hal—I can see how these details will help with plot development…

Protagonist, Courtney, Maid of Honor: runner/victim: running from her own strength/gifts and fear of being alone, she’s been a serial-clinger in bad relationships, clinging to her best friend even harder whenever she’s between bad-boys.

Antagonist: primary: Predator – Best Man: classic malignant narcissist/sociopath—Courtney’s usual

Antagonist-ish: Change Agent – Groomsman 1 Change Agent -Courtney’s eventually-recognized Dream Guy

Antagonist-ish: Authority – Laurel (Bridesmaid 1) Hiding her heart with her head

Antagonist-ish: Villain (expression of worst fear) – serial bad relationships/never finds true love Groomsman 2

Other characters: Bride, Bridesmaid 2, Officiant, parent/s of the bride and groom, flower girl or ring- bearer, guests, service characters…

Genre: Rom-Com/Buddy Movie

Courtney (Court)

Role: Protagonist, MAID OF HONOR:

Age/Description: late 20’s/early 30’s, brown hair, light eyes, petite, childhood best friend of bride

Internal Journey:Passive, deferent, pleasing, dependent,, obsessed with fantasies/dreams about marrying the self-centric best man in her friend’s upcoming wedding so they can all be happily forever-after “together,” avoiding personal growth—to active, awake to life’s unpleasantries and thereby able to effect healthy change in herself and others.

External Journey:From best friend’s shadow, perfectly executing the woman’s dream wedding—to an inspired “relationship expert” able to recognize both her own real ‘dream man’ and the realities everyone else in the wedding party desperately need to see.

Motivation: initial: to keep everyone happy/peaceful (as a way of managing her own stress/internal state, and to maintain connections (to avoid her fear of being alone) . As she’s pushed (the Call): to get the Best Man to stay connected to the friend she feels she’s about to lose

Wound/Fear: terrified of being alone. Never to connect with mother/had to be her shadow. Now afraid that her solid female friend she’s also shadowed is going away.

Mission/Agenda: first to maintain peace/bride’s happiness so that they stay connected, then to share her enlightenment/divine intervention after crisis/climax.

Secret: is secret even to her: she sees important realities that other people don’t and she’s the one who must speak up. Other people are actually more “sick” than she is. She sees herself as needing help, but really she’s the one who has to help other people. She’s more afraid of Cecelia’s having feelings than Cecelia is.

What makes her special: open to Celestial/Divine Intervention, which can cause fast change (as opposed to therapy (slower growth).

Cecelia (Cess)

Role: Bride. Best friend who’s ‘taken care of’ Courtney over the years

Age/Description: early 30’s, long blonde hair, blue eyes, toned body, emotionally stable/ backboned, insanely capable, successfully climbing the corporate ladder, met Groom at Harvard.

Internal Journey: from truly believing she’s got it ALL figured out and can do everything to being okay realizing she doesn’t and can’t

External Journey: From thinking her marriage had basically already been made, to realizing it’s going to be (delightfully) built over a lifetime.

Motivation: Doing as she always, she intends to embrace and easily ‘kick’ this next life step..

Wound: Autism Spectrum-ish, misses some of the emotional stuff in herself and others.

Mission/Agenda: to marry the man of her dreams

Secret:Would really prefer to get married quietly on a beach (or in a park, or church) or something else that’s emotional, that Courtney, in a pivot, makes happen

What makes her special: a strong, capable, privileged woman who appreciates everything and is generous. Wonder Woman with everything, actually works to be more like her mess of a best friend—emotional and messy.

GROOM:

Role: Groom who needs and wants to be the gentleman his father and uncle aren’t.

Age/Description: Early 30’s, attractive, “Thor” looking, affluent, raised in prep schools on the East Coast

Internal Journey: from stiff and snooty Ivy league privilege to a real man and husband.

External Journey: comes to see the answer to his prayers is personal growth with the woman of his dreams (Bride)—and leaving Wall street for a PhD program in Comparative Religion (for which he’s already primed, but needed “permission”)

Motivation: initial: to do/live as has been modeled for him at home and in his schools/frat) . Stay the course. Ultimately: to be whole, healthy, and self-directed

Wound: Raised to believe that boys will be boys, men will be men – whis means exploiting, philandering like his dad, the patriarch of a cold, well-connected, money’d family

Mission/Agenda: To create a growing life with Cecelia they both really want and deserve

Secret: Never really wanted to be like his best friend/best ma and father

Special: unique among the rich—willing to leave it all (Siddhartha/St. Francis/Clare/Agnas)

BEST MAN:

Role: Antagonist/betraying agent (no change); Wall Street shark, Groom’s college fraternity big brother. Cold, calculating

Age/Description: Early 30’s, seriously attractive on the outside. Very ugly inside

Internal Journey: A narcissist, living his single life goal: conquer, acquire everything/everyone he wants

External Journey: tries to expertly exploit Courtney’s weakness, but gets taken down

Motivation: Me me me; Take, Take, Take

Wound: genetics, cruel parents

Mission/Agenda: to screw Courtney for the entertainment, during an otherwise tedious experience

Secret: jealous of best friend/groom

Special: a devil in our modern world

JOSIAH

Role: Change Agent (Transforming Character-Southern, Black Gentleman), Barista at the Investment Bank the Groom works for, invited into the wedding party at the last minute as “the only guy I ever really talk to.” “Hell you know me better than anyone else.”

Age/Description: Early 30’s, gets cuter as you get to know him, humble, funny, solid

Internal Journey: none

External Journey: Demonstrates THE WAY to live by simply living

Motivation: to just BE. Thanking Mama and thanking God, as Skynyrd learned in Simple Man (what he’s supposed to be, in spiritual sense)

Wound: healed warrior

Mission/Agenda: none

Secret: Has been in love with Courtney since college? Was bequeathed a fortune by a hoarder he delivered Meals on Wheels to for years as a volunteer— so he doesn’t have to work, but does so in jobs he enjoys where he can talk with lots of people.

GROOMSMAN 2:

Role: disrupter, comic relief, catalyst

Age/Description: late 40’s, gay and insecure about this in his cold, competitive, judgmental family Unhappy, serial relationships with lots of harping, groom’s only male cousin

Internal Journey: from externalized, aggressive/miserable to seeing a light for the first time in his life/recovering his empathy in a long-forgotten sense of peace. When he sees his cousin suffering he finally feels empathy.

External Journey: by causing chaos, he unintentionally helps catapult Courtney on her Hero’s journey which helps move everyone to the more emotional/vulnerable places they need to be for better health (including himself). Helps without ever intending to.

Motivation: unconsciously trying to make everyone else’s lives look more chaotic/“dirty” like his, so he feels less judged. Misery loves company.

Wound: lack of self esteem – projects with anger and sarcasm, wants/needs to Be happy for once in his life

Mission/Agenda: create noise/drama. He drives the sexually promiscuous “combined bachelor/bachelorette” party idea

Secret: really wants a loving committed relationship, really wants to married

Laurel:

Role: Bridesmaid 1, authority antagonism

Age/Description: early 30’s, black hair, dark eyes, exotic looking, working as a corporate attorney for Cecilia’s company, very cerebral.

Internal Journey: from oblivious to the fact she hurts guys (to drive them away before they hurt her) to being strong enough to face and change.

External Journey: Apologizes to one or more guys in the party? Helps Groomsman 2 out of some self-inflicted pickle?

Motivation: to keep her heart safe

Wound: Abandonment issues, dad left shortly after her birth, mom had string of men come through her life – all leaving her more lonely

Mission/Agenda: get through the wedding without breaking down emotionally over her own deep loneliness.

Secret: has a romantic nature at her core

What makes them special: tough exterior, accomplished yet when authentically sharing, she is extremely loving and kind

BRIDESMAID 2:

Role: bridesmaid. Also a high-power career, but really wants to be a mom and wife. Newly pregnant, she’s left the baby’s dad.

Age/Description: early 30’s, Filipino, voluptuous; living the classic Asian immigrant dream life her family demands.

Internal Journey: from feminist-misguidedness to seeing her true potential dream guy in the father of her baby—and giving him the second chance he needs.

External Journey:

Motivation:

Wound: has been told what she wants/needs her whole life, and it’s all wrong

Mission/Agenda:

Secret:

[Elizabeth Koenig]

I agree to the terms of this release form-

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, communications, lessons, and models of the 30 Day Screenplay confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, communications, lessons, and models of the 30 Day Screenplay available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or peopl

Elizabeth Koenig

• This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by  Elizabeth Koenig.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth Koenig

6 scripts, none DONE

Hope (no, PLAN) to get one DONE

I was in the middle of a third draft about a pandemic virus when the first cases of endemic COVID hit my husband’s hospital in the Seattle area. All the RESEARCH turned out to be helpful—and the novel is now in a drawer.

Looking forward to ‘Meeting’ you all—feel free to reach out if you’re interested in critique-partnering after the class!

[Elizabeth Koenig]

What I learned doing this assignment: honing in on “ways” that differentiate “before” and “after” can help clarify “the journey”…

Dream Man

Hero: Maid of Honor (yet unnamed)

Internal Journey: Passive, obsessed with fantasies/dreams about the self-centric best man in her friend’s upcoming wedding, avoiding personal growth—to active, awake to life’s unpleasantries and thereby able to effect healthy change in herself and others.

External Journey: From best friend’s shadow, perfectly executing the woman’s dream wedding—to an inspired “relationship expert” able to recognize both her own real ‘dream man’ and the realities everyone else in the wedding party desperately need to see.

Old Ways

· Passive, pleaser

· Distracting herself from unpleasant realities with fairytale fantasies

· Living from without rather than within

· Attracted to a jerk

New Ways

· Active teacher

· Living REAL, helping other people do the same

· Knowing and being herself

· Attracted to her true dream guy

[Elizabeth Koenig]

What I learned: specific things to consider when trying to be more cost-conscious and ‘contained’ in script writing. Very helpful.

Part 1: 5 ideas, one frankly silly. All can be pitched in 1-2 sentences. 2 more unique than the others. All need to be better flushed out.

Part 2: <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>Stand By Me:

As they did: relatively airborne-infectious disease-friendly in that it was filmed mostly outside. Also minimal wardrobe/hair/make-up, stunts (aside from the pie-eating story scene and two involving trains). Kids were ensemble main characters and one dog was used in one scene.

COVID Guideline Version:

Consider cutting the gang to 2-3 older boys, using V.O. for woman yelling about the gun shot and/or the junkyard guy. To eliminate the dog, write a scene with some alternative scrotal threat (e.g. the gun shot earlier is a near-miss), although the dog is pretty awesome. You’re stuck with kids, but could eliminate the flashback deceased-brother scenes, and incorporate those narrative details in ‘story-telling’ dialogue, which might also further build the ‘developing a future-novelist’ plot-line. The man in a truck dropping off Chris isn’t necessary. The pie-eating scene could be cut. Parts of the (same or changed) story could be enacted by the ensemble around the fire for dramatic effect, maybe with ridiculous food that the boys have brought or bought.

The few scenes inside homes/shops could be moved outside (e.g. opening: start as he exits through the store’s front door and use only one older boy reveal scene (outside).

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Glad we’re connected~

[Elizabeth Koenig]

So excited! We seem to be building a fun little group~

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Richard you amaze me! I’m doing a big push but not sure I can be done with an entire first draft in 10 days. Julia and I have been exchanging “where we are at” but several of us are looking at starting an ongoing critique group, too. Feel free to reach out at elizabethkoenig18@gmail.com if you are ever interested. And if you’re still needing a partner by day 10, lmk

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Always happy to exchange with you, Bob. I’ve ‘formally’ partnered with Julia but several of us are looking at forming an on-going critique group, too. You have my email if that’s of interest to you!

In the meantime, send me anything you’d like me to read….

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Hi Julia, I don’t have any answers for you here. But I’m hoping to come out of this class with a critique group (as I’ve had in my novel/picture book world). I’m at elizabethkoenig18@gmail.com if you’re ever interested…

Strong work keeping up, btw.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Thanks Bob!

And sorry about that.

Adam-Eve is a character who may or may not stay. I’ve had a sense from the start that I have too many characters. A pantser for years, I’ve been hoping the scenes that pop into my head will figure this out for me. In case you are interested, she’s the 9 year-old sex-assigned male-at-birth child of Grace and Michael who finds themself more comfortable identifying in a less binary way during the script.

Looking forward to more exchanges. Have a wonderful Christmas.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

I like that!

[Elizabeth Koenig]

So fun to read more of your writing. I’m seeing this as a powerful and important work—with a strong theme of choice/free will—and justice. With a character who, in my limited reading, seems to have had significant sociopathic traits. He seems like a wonderful protagonist choice for your message, imho—and I am definitely hooked!

As for Hal’s current assignment: I’m seeing the visual-then-internal. Great threat of denazification, a goal at stake that matters and delayed delivery of the decision. Also reversal of known info with that detail about prior campaigning. In fact, that detail piece is so huge for this story, I’m wondering if there are ways to make it even more emotional? Though as I type, I’m realizing this may be way off-base b/c I haven’t read the rest of the script where, for example, if we’ve seen this guys’ temper tantrums and other antisocial behavior hurt people deeply, we’ll feel the justice here, just fine. So take that as a wondering, and for whatever it’s worth!

I see your focus on active verbs (churning up the pages) and LOVE the visual of embracing the oscar (over-valuing the material and self idolatry – the narcissism). The body stance paralleling the movie is awesome. I found myself wondering if you’ll have a German Shepard dog in here and/or if you’re going to play at all with the Oscars decision (and any shame therein)? Just curious. Or other metaphors like Rorschach…

Funny coincidence (or not) but I did a year-long humanities program back in college on this period of German history and a fair amount of time was spent on Leni’s (and other) propaganda work that ushered in our technologies’ escalating mental/emotional manipulation. So I’m just that much more interested in reading your whole SP, should you ever desire…

[Elizabeth Koenig]

I just love your logline-story premise. So good – guilt and fears, great character arc, imho. Love how this is developing, the half-brother villain and his yearning for Tyler’s girlfriend. How fabulous! This EVP phone app! The subtext and subtle humor, sensuality, lyrical writing. If you’re ever interested I’d love to read the whole SP. I’m curious about so many things. Wondering now, for ex., if you have a pretty strong character arc for Lex going, too—paralleling Tyler’s (sorry, the shrink in me). But the insecurity beneath Tyler’s arrogance (as behind Lex’s prickly sarcasm), perhaps? OHHH and maybe even Maddie (paranoia as a defense). Anyway, I can tell I am in great story-building hands when I read this scene and the bit of background. As for Hal’s assignment: I see the warning, implying consequences, direct prediction (very clear), hopelessness, villain reputation. I’m feeling the hope/fear of what I suspect may be some impulsivity in Lex, which could worry us a lot! I really like the visual of seeing Tyler when Lex does not. I’m picking up the possibility of romantic connection between these two, if that’s what you want? Really fun to see this coming along so well and quickly…

Enjoy our next segment!

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Of course!

Have to admit, I already glanced through yours (loved what I saw) but then got distracted by my kid coming home from college. More tomorrow?

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Thanks Armand. I have LOVED watching your SP develop! More tomorrow. I read through when you first posted and was amped about the character decisions you made, but I’ll comment more specifically tomorrow~

Say, if you have interest in an on-going critique reln, lmk: elizabethkoenig18@gmail.com I’m really looking forward to exchanging entire screenplays as I’ve been doing in the novel world with novels…

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Hey sorry, had a kid come home from college. Is tomorrow to late for you?

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Up for an exchange?

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Let me know if my replies to the WordPress emails aren’t reaching you. I’m technology-challenged~

I’m also at: elizabethkoenig18@gmail.com

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Let me know if my reply to the WordPress email last night didn’t reach you, and I’ll post here. Or: I’m at elizabethkoening18@gmail.com~

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Oops I see you have character traits and subtext already! I guess I’d be curious re: character logline. Or logline! I’m really wishing I’ve read some of your other course work b/c this is going to be good. More soon…

[Elizabeth Koenig]

I’m so excited—and honored!

Did you want to share your character sheet? I can probably figure out how to see it from our old assignments. But if that would help? Or is it better to just see what is “there?” You know more than me~

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Hey Rob, a fellow Washingtonian here. Who runs about 80% Hal Speed. I’ve just posted an intro scene. If you’re interested in another exchange this round, lmk—I realize we’re already in (or will be tomorrow, I can’t tell) the next module, so I Get It if you’ve moved on…

Though keep me in mind, if you’re ever needing future critique partners. I’ve got many in the novel/picture book world but need to build a network for screenplay, seeing as I’m new to this format and have lots to learn. I may be too much of a newbie for your skill level, but perhaps some of what I’ve picked up in other story realms could be value-add?

Have a great day~

(Actually I’ve already looked yours over-in brief. Impressed and intrigued. More, only if you want…)

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Thank you Bob—very helpful to get a read on how the characters are landing and the set-up for the arc. I sure appreciate your time.

And I am VERY excited about your work—for many reasons. Loved the Oscar (of course, as did others) and much else. I could comment now or (in case you think this could be helpful) if I could see your character sketch I may have more ideas. For better AND worse, I’m super character-driven by temperament and training. My novel critique partners find me less helpful when it comes to plot thoughts/visuals than character. Anyway a thought… I also may be able to find this if I go back and figure out which day we posted this. I’ll look~

Have a great day

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Wonderful—no hurry. I’ll be back on later this evening, too to look at yours!

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Hi Bob! I’ve been meaning to reach out. Are you interested in exchanging at this point? I seem to run chronically behind…

Enjoy your day

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Oh Armand, you are a gem to take so much time with this! And thank you for your wonderful and organizing thoughts. Frankly, I feel like I’ll only appreciate them more as I take them, one at a time, and re-read (then re-re-read) them. Clarity must be one of your gifts.

Let me know if you have interest in any future critique work. I’m finding myself wanting to ask you questions, as in my novel critique world. You’re that good.

Have a great night.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Let’s do! You’ve got my email.

As for how long we’ve got, 5 days sticks in my mind—but don’t hold me to it! I can’t even remember what day that info might have come to us~

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Can’t wait to see!

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Armand, I absolutely love your premise. I love your theme, too! Characters are great, imho. Structure looks solid. I wondered if you wanted to make sure to get the theme in by page 10, as well (Blake Snyder-ish—but you’ve probably already thought about that). Regardless, I think you’re really going somewhere with this…

These posts are so high level, readers have few details—and lots of space to wonder about things. So take these next thoughts for whatever they might possibly be worth to YOU (don’t want to step on any cherished vision!):

I found myself wondering: what if this were a dramatic triangle? Would you have more to work with as you create layers and depth in later drafts? Like, what if the killer has some history with either or both of them? What if both were vying for Maddie’s attention, and the killer flew into a rage when it looked like he was losing out. Or—so many possibilities.

I also had the thought: what if Tyler and Maddie hadn’t QUITE gotten together before he died (building his cowardly trait)? What if Maddie also has an arc, GETS bad-ass with the help of Tyler as he arcs (so his arc is, in part, helping her—I’m thinking about your description of Tyler as ‘privileged,’ and taking the quantum (and maybe inaccurate) leap that he may also be a bit self-centric?). Anyway, this could happen as they, maybe, finally ‘get together’ as it were, during the movie. If you happened to want to go there.

And here’s more of a question (and a job hazard of mine): I’m wondering about the backstory, the killer’s motivation and if you were thinking about any metaphoric/meaning behind that motivation that, say, creates a demand for an anniversary spree?

And since it’s a family cabin, is Tyler related to Dallas and Lex? Just curious. Also, are you thinking horror or thriller? I bet you could do either.

All of the above is because I’m really interested—which means I’m hooked!

Anyway, I’m really excited about this. So happy to be classmates!

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Should I post here? I don’t know how to work this new platform to direct message. But my email is elizabethkoenig18@gmail.com if that’s your preference. Anything is great for me (including you telling me how to direct message 🙃)

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Should I post here? Don’t know how to work this new platform to direct message. But my email is elizabethkoenig18@gmail.com if that’s your preference. Anything is great for me (including you telling me how to direct message 🙃)

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Hi Armand,

Would love to exchange if you’re still up for it?

Have a great day,

Elizabeth Koenig

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Just read the first few lines of yours and I’m HOOKED. Want to exchange?

Elizabeth Koenig

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Hey Jim,

Loved the concept of geeks versus US Govt. AND Jihad—with a smattering of conspiracy theory folks to shake it up. Plenty of opportunity for high stakes and twists/turns for a Thriller! I know this is a high level document (few details), but I was intrigued and wanted to know particulars, which means I was hooked. I don’t know if you’ve taken Hal’s thriller class, but I found myself excited to see how you’ll do that mystery/suspense/intrigue-stacking and expecting you’ll discover many great ways to lead the audience astray (conspiracy theories and Jake’s brother, especially, come to mind—if we worry/wonder a lot (as we already do, but maybe even more) about who the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ guys really are). Maybe calling into question the ‘goodness’ of the brother could be interesting? I was also interested in why, exactly (the backstory), the FBI thought these non-gvt hacker characters could be such a bit part of a government plan (and what the gvt’s role was in that plan) to catch the general, and am looking forward to seeing how this more particularly plays out in Act III.

I love the idea of running the romance as a main plot (as opposed to it showing up early-Act II). Looking forward to seeing how the action plot weaves with this, to drive home the theme (romance-based) and was wondering if you want to make sure that romance theme is clear, too, by Pg. 10 when we learn what the story is ‘about.’

I also wondered: (a job hazard of mine) about Jake’s desire for revenge that drives him into the story, but also seems to be a character trait. Is this going to play a role in his arc and if so how? I found myself wondering if you’ll build in more difficulty with assertiveness/aggression (i.e.: is he afraid to pick up a gun?) at the beginning, to make his arc more dramatic. I’m guessing your characters will grow a lot during the character module—it will be fun to see!

Finally, great work capturing character in description (sorry, I know that’s outside the scope of this assignment, but just had to say…)

Enjoy the rest of this class!

Elizabeth Koenig

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  Elizabeth Koenig.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  Elizabeth Koenig.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

I think it is great to reply here-but sorry the email bounced. In case I typed it in wrong: elizabethkoenig18@gmail.com

And thank you for this! I’ve printed for reference as I go along. Wonderful things to focus on. I’ll be looking at yours very soon. Want me to email?

Lmk if you’d like to continue exchanging as we move forward and best of luck!

OH and a question, are you getting more emails for ongoing assignments? I’m not!

Take care.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Hello to both of you guys! Taking Jim’s lead, here’s my email, if either or both of you are interested in exchanging?

Good to ‘meet’ you!

Elizabethkoenig18@gmail.om

[Elizabeth Koenig]

It worked!

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Hoping this goes to Jim Peacock:

Hey, I assume so (it IS a little confusing). Excited to read Right Now!

I’ll post mine below if you feel so inclined…

[Elizabeth Koenig]

I would be honored to exchange! If you can possibly wait until tomorrow? I’ll be able to be back on classwork tomorrow afternoon/evening. No worries if that doesn’t meet your timeline~

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Necessary Qestions

What I learned: I’m putting a sign above my desk with this lesson’s assignment and will never start another project without first clarifying these 4 things…

Dramatic Question: Ed (and everyone around him) have so much love, work and joy/play to share with the world, are they going to figure out how or—continue to spin?

Main Conflict: humans

—and their pride-against humiliation/fear/pain/anger/sadness/habits/confusion—

versus the psychological defenses that protect us from these, but keep us from growing.

Dilemma of the Main Characters:

Ed: knows full well he’s avoided working through his absentee dad’s death—to avoid feeling angry and sad, but heck, it’s so much work! Unless you can make it a little fun…

Grace: has truly found the love she needs, but can’t shake the fear that it isn’t real/is going to “leave.” Fear/pain—but doing so is the only way to keep what she has.

Mike: His ADHD-driven (bad) habits are keeping him from the efficacy he needs, both for himself and others. But oh, it’s a lot of work to change them!

Mark: running from the sadness of being given up for adoption (and adopted by parents who couldn’t love him because they were genetically so different) he’s avoided all relationships—but what he needs is to feel the sadness and be understood/accepted for who he is, which he can only do in relationship.

Adam/Eve: society’s habits of gender identity/expected behavior confuse her and make it hard for her to be who she is, but her core tells her she must. Also, she’s a kid who needs/wants adults to help her, but also has to stand up for herself to get what she needs.

Christopher: Habits and fear keep him depressed (but ‘safe’) and from emancipating, which, obviously he needs.

Linda: Thinks everything is a competition: only you OR me get to “have what I need.” But it’s in giving that we receive… Humility and trust

Kristian: developmentally regressed in the chaos in the home. Needs to communicate his distress in a way his parents hear, not with the habits that annoy people.

Pat: Needs to communicate in a way that doesn’t push people away. But hell, that pisses her off. (habits/anger/humility-being vulnerable/trust)

Mary (98 bed-bound nun): well-worn default is helping others, but needs to ask for help getting back out because she can no longer do it alone. Habit—ha ha.

Wade and Judy’s habits have kept them from remembering/relishing the playfulness/joy of how much they love each other—and from sharing this with young folk who desperately want to know how to make a long-term relationship work. So they need to recapture for everyone.

Walt has lots to teach the younger folk, but society’s habits preclude access.

Lauren: hangs out with old people out of fear she’ll be rejected by the young people she also needs.

Theme: No matter your age, the world (and you) need your work, love—and play.