[Liz]

Mod 1 – Lesson 3: <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Engaging Main Characters that Sell you show

What I learned in this lesson is: Focusing on the main character is helping me understand what it is that draws me into a particular show or movie. A lot of times I am more interested in a particular actor/actress, not because I think they are “great” but because I want to see if they can meet the challenge of the show or film. For example: ‘Lessons in Chemistry’ was intriguing because I liked the main character’s ability to convincingly be very straight forward – stoic, much like the character in “The Queen’s Gambit”. Ability to have so much focus on a particular ‘thing’, and how it drives the story. What happens when their ‘thing’ is pulled away and how they are driven to continue…

Assignment 1: THE QUEEN’S GAMBIT

1. Role in the show: Main Character Beth Harmon is very stoic, especially after (flashback) when her mother tries to kill them both. Beth survives the car accident, and does not show any emotion after her mother tried to kill herself and Beth.

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: While in the orphanage, Beth is immediately taken to the dispensary, where they dole out vitamins and tranquilizers to the children. One day in the janitors ‘office’, she discovers chess. Tranquilizers, her brilliant mind and uncanny ability in chess set the tone for this series.

C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface? She is learning how to play chess from Janitor. Janitor does not know she has dependency on the tranquilizers. Beth can visualize (hallucinate) chess pieces on the ceiling and allow her to strategize the game in her minds eye.

D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing? Her dependency on tranquilizers is exposed, when the orphanage is ordered by the state to stop giving the children drugs. Beth essentially looses her mind and goes to steal the drugs. She is caught in the act, so she grabs handfuls of the pills and ingests so much (over doses), while everyone watches.

E. Unpredictable: What will they do next? Her obsessive personality, is driven harder to learn chess from the Janitor, but he won’t engage with her anymore. A few years later, she is adopted by a couple, that changes Beth’s life forever.

F. Empathetic: Why do we care? We care because Beth is a 9 year old child, who is addicted to drugs at a very young age and she has a brilliant mind. Although, very self centered, we want to see if she survives the addiction and how far will Chess take her. Will she be a champion?

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>

[Liz]

Lesson 2: Three Circles of Characters

Assignment 1: What I learned doing this assignment is that using this lesson on breaking down the “three circles”, I gained a better understanding of who is who. Paying attention to what I am viewing (who I think is a Main Character). Using “circles” is a great metaphor in helping me understand the connections I see consciously and unconsciously.

QUEENS GAMBIT – Pilot

– Main Characters Circle: Elizabeth, Friend, Janitor, Drugs

– Connected Circle: Mom, Orphanage staff, Drugs/addiction, Chess

– Environment Circle: Orphanage, other girls, High School teacher, Chess Club boys

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Assignment 2: What I learned doing this assignment is: After following the descriptions using the “circles”, I was able to better define my characters and how they related in my story.

– Genre: Post apocalyptic environment/Sci-Fi/Fantasy

– Save earth

– Survival in unrelenting environment

Three Circles of Characters:

– Main Characters Circle: Isobel, Issac (dad), Kenji (son), Samual (husband)

– Connected Circle: (sisters) Sara & Melissa and their children
Environment Circle: Daniela (mom), various encounters throughout life (past/present/future) journey and to save earth.

Brief character descriptions:

– Isobel: youngest of 3 girls, and dad’s favorite. The death of her mom during childbirth has great impact throughout story. Adores her father. She has great respect for earth’s environment, at an early age can live off the land and survive encounters (animals/environment). A brilliant builder of sustainable housing environments. Clean recycled water, clean recycled air, grow usable plants, fruit, vegetables…, raise chickens for protein and fertilizer.…

– Daniela, Isobel’s mom: Isobel’s fantastical birth and death of her mom. Mom’s voice follows Isobel through her journey driving her understanding of her purpose to save earth.

– Issac, Isobel’s dad: raises 3 girls. Isobel is the clear favorite. He and Isobel are connected because of Daniela’s death. He retains a strong intellectual relationship and appreciation of life and the environment with Isobel.

– Kenji, Isobel’s son: he is highly intuitive if not telepathic (past/present/future). Fun loving, bright, intelligent, loves everyone.

– Samual, Isobel’s husband: Adores Isobel and Kenji. He is a pilot and aeronautic engineer, brilliant in his field. Works closely with Isobel in creating/building sustainable home for everyone in the family. His engineering/creative skills are vital, to make each individual “gas masks” when needing to do anything outdoors.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by  Liz Dwyer.

[Liz]

ASSIGNMENT 1

What I learned doing this assignment is: how the layers of this character in “Queens Gambit”, even though uncomfortable with ‘drug addiction’, is compelling story because she is so young and how she deals with obstacles she encounters. As in a chess game, she contemplates her actions (moves) living in the orphanage, to gain access to learning the game of Chess, no matter what.

QUEENS GAMBIT

Big Picture Hooks:
– Young girl’s mother dies after attempting to kill both in a car accident.
– Orphanage dolls out tranquilizers – young girl gets addicted
– A reluctant relationship with Janitor, leads to needed challenges as she learns Chess
– Tranquilizers help her visualize (hallucinate) chess moves on the ceiling of the dorm room,
– Her obsession to learn chess is sealed.
– Orphanage stops giving out tranquilizers, she plots to steel them from a locked room. <div>

<div>

Amazing and Intriguing Character:

– Harmon is 8, orphaned, obsessed with Chess and addicted to drugs, she is brilliant and plots to learn as much about Chess as she can. Not to mention they chose a striking actress with unique look to play the character. </div><div>

Empathy / Distress:

– Harmon is orphaned after a car accident, where her mother dies (no sign of father).
– She is addicted to tranquilizers at age 8
– She is unusually quiet, showing little emotion after accident
Layers / Open Loops:
– Drugs and Chess addiction go together
– Her emotions are wrapped around Chess and relationship with Janitor’s encouragement
– How far can she go with Chess?
– She ‘sees’ how drugs help her visualize chess game/working out problems in her head. </div><div>

Inviting Obsession:

– Her addiction to Chess (or love of the challenge)?
– Will drug addiction be her downfall or a benefit?
– What other obstacles will she encounter as she gets older?
</div></div>

[Liz]

Hello all, I am Storm. Apologies for getting on the class so late. Sudden death in the family took me away for a bit. But I want to make the determination to get my head back in the game. I hope I can get caught up with everyone.

2. I have written 2 features (drama) and working on several T.V. series (serial killer, a comedy musical, and dramedy on the road)

3. I hope to learn the aspects of A.I. that I can use to help me with a “bible” and put together a full package for potential producers. I have a lot of experience working on sets (Film/TV), and editing film. However, I have always been a writer and really want together my stuff out there.

4. Something unique: I am a skier who loves to sing on the mountain 😀

5. What ProSeries: Writing Incredible Movies, Binge Worthy TV bootcamp, Character Mastery, Writing Incredible Movies.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by  Liz Dwyer.

[Liz]

As a member of this group, I Elizabeth “Storm” Dwyer, agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Liz]

My Vision: I have no fear writing great scripts; top producers seek me out to keep producing my scripts. I Love my life as an award winning writer, while making great income, allowing me freedom to travel, have fun and take care of my family.

[Liz]

Hi – I am Storm (Elizabeth Dwyer), I have written 2 feature scripts (SciFi/Post Apocalypse) Some Shorts, and currently writing a Thriller episodic and co-writing an episodic Female comedy. I hope to learn about more tools to actually sell myself/scripts. I have not put myself out there to producers. So this is the area I hope that I can gain more confidence and make that big jump. I am so looking forward to making that jump, fear is keeping me back. I want that fear I have to turn into confidence. Always learning and bringing forth more than I thought I can do.

I am a SciFi nerd and I am finally letting the outside world know how much I love Science Fiction especially love Gene Roddenberry. I will be attending my first Star Trek Convention this year.

[Liz]

Elizabeth “Storm” Dwyer

I Agree to the Terms of this Agreement

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of Writing Incredible Movies, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, through social media, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, videos, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Liz]

Watch 1st time for:

How mismatched are these two?

Dr Shirley is very thoughtful, knows who he is, refined, proud, reserved and ostentatious. His dialogue is direct and thoughtful. You can see he understands his circumstance in a white world. He also, he shoots for the moon, in asking that for $100.00/week, a driver, bouncer, and valet is a reasonable ask. Although, he discovers that the Valet part may have to be dropped if he is to move forward in hiring Tony. There are a lot of variables that can occur on the trip, so you can tell he is weighing those things thoughtfully and prioritizing what he needs most. By going after Tony (seeing future, a breakthrough) he is now going to work on compromises to get Tony to work for him.

Tony is proud, tough, straight forward, knows who he is. Also, very direct with understanding the circumstance. Also, condescending at some point. He does not have issues with working for a black man, nor does he have issues with saying “no” or thumping someone. He sees a means to an end, there is no emotional attachment to his work (no matter what). He enjoys being a tough guy because he is very good at it. He is probably the best at what he does in the area. The dialogue (and acting) brings this character to the forefront as someone who expects that he can deal with any circumstance placed in front of him.

They are very different, the differences are exactly what makes them a great couple – in a way “opposites attract”. Dr Shirley understands how his presence, as a black man, will place him in dangerous territory while traveling in the ‘deep south’. He knows he will need a tough white man to take him on this journey. Tony also begins to understand what this job entails and what Dr. Shirley will need.

The undertones are throughout the dialogue. I realize that we are talking about writing, but for this film the overall presentation in this scene: production design, wardrobe…. It’s difficult to ignore these things, visually intriguing, surprising too. This gives us clues too. We as the audience, more than likely would not expect that Dr. Shirley (a musician) would sit on a throne in his house, wearing a robe mixed with traditional and present (for the era). Of course Tony is wearing what you would expect for his line of work and in his community.

The fact that Tony does not seem put off, he is curious and maybe impressed that a black man lives in such a “rich” household.

What do they have to get over to be able to work together and become friends?

This couple must push aside their differences to keep communication with each other. Trust on the part of Dr. Shirley is a big one. Of course he will have only so much trust at this point in the film. He understands that Tony is a man of his word, but once he is crossed, that could be the end. With that in mind Dr. Shirley must place trust in this white man. He believes that Tony has the integrity of taking a job and completing the job, to the best of his ability.

While Tony does not trust at all, he is always on the lookout. This is why he can point out details in his surroundings, so he can calculate a get away, a fighting scenario…. he will eventually have to let his guard down and be open to surprising possibilities. I believe that he opened the door on his first meeting with Dr. Shirley. At the very least intrigued by the possibility of how taking this black man on a tour in the deep south, would challenge his “Public Affairs” skills.

Knowing that Tony gets the job, how does this mismatch create a future for both characters?

This story is propelled by this scene (cliff hanger). We as the audience are intrigued by the possibilities. No matter where we come from. The future is up to these two men, coming to terms that they can deal with in the moment. With an unexpected and eventual camaraderie. How enduring will this friendship turn out, I have to watch the film again.

Watch 2nd time for:

What drama is this scene built around?

An amazing musician who has achieved many things in life, but it still comes down to racism and segregation in America. The era is of a time where segregation would allow a black musician to play for white people in a fancy restaurant, yet would not allow this black man to eat dinner with them.

What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions? Both right characters.

Dr Shirley: Proud, refined, educated – his wounds are there, but not apparent. He surrounds himself with items representing his ethnicity. Not to mention he this is his kingdom (a place that he can control), a place that he can maybe have redemption when he his knocked down. He can be creative with his music and have peace of mind. He knows the possible future (for the tour) will be challenging and will rely on this unlikely person to assist him in getting through it. So much more….

Tony: Straight Forward, strong (physically), Open, Confident – he does not appear to have any wounds. Buried so deep, we wouldn’t not know in this scene. He is on an interview, he is doing the interviewing. He is aware, open, curious, and intrigued. He has no issues, but he will not allow a black man to make him his valet. He is a driver and tough guy.

Daily Focus – Searching for Breakthroughs:

Please watch this scene and provide your insights/breakthroughs into what makes this character great from a writing perspective.

What I learned rewriting my scene/character…?

Wow! I think for the current world we live in, this a profound circumstance and film. It says so much directly and in the undertones. I can only hope that I could bring such great insight into my characters of color and more, placing them in mismatched allies, circumstances…. Lots to think about and especially do more thoughtful research into the stories I am telling.

[Liz]

I have delved into David’s traits and realized I need to dive deep for this one and even do some more research. This character is complex and maniacal, I have been making notes for different scenes that pop in my head and I have to keep answering the questions; why and how. The when is throughout and for an episodic, I will need to answer these questions for all my main characters. But I have to say, I like that I have at least made the effort to interview my two main characters and ask some questions. Now I need a more in depth character break down to really make them pop and be who I have imagined them to be.

[Liz]

How is this power struggle created? <div>

Gary (Jerry Lewis) established his stand that he/teammates will not play with “your” folks, and that is how they will play football (unchanged)
Denzel responds that you don’t need any of ‘my’ people?

What is it about these characters that demand this power struggle?

Segregation, is now converging the two races. One race against another (as how things have been.) Right or Wrong, this is how it’s done.
The new African American Coach vs. the captain of the football team.
Denzel establishes his control over the situation with an instant humiliation of sorts.
Further more he tells Gary that if he wants to play football, he needs to know who his “daddy” is, while they are at camp because his Momma ain’t gonna be on the bus.
Is this your team or is this your daddy’s team?
This is an immediate take over, as Denzel’s character can not back down in any way, nor show any weakness. It’s a great scene of taking power over the situation (touchy too), without any other intent, except to play football.

How does each character’s audience influence and depend upon this power struggle?

There is a common audience, this is a film about football
The conflict is pretty thick in this scene by skin color, and then the clear and obvious power struggle between the Captain of the team and the Coach
I believe the intelligent audience, despite their beliefs are drawn into this, as we want to see how this plays out.
The struggle is not over by any means, but the Captain giving in, does help this film move forward.
The Coach understands that this is one of more battles to come.

Watch 2nd time for:

What drama is this scene built around? </div><div>

Football, black and white, positive outlook from the New Coach, combining players black and white.

How are they expressing their Profile (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) through their words and actions?

Coach Traits: Moves with grace, stands tall, strength in his stride, smiles and positive

Captain Traits: Strength, wants to dominate, attitude (I am not anyone to mess with), condescending.

Coach – secret/wound: I am not to be trifled with, I may be a black man, but I am the Coach of this team. Wound not revealed, but most likely have struggled as a Black man in a community of white people all my life, yet this wound makes me strong.

Captain – secret/wound: I am the All American on this team, I am taking over because you are just a black man, you are not my coach, I am a momma’s boy too.

Coach – Future: We are playing football my way, not matter what you (Captain) believe will happen. Not only do I look forward to this challenge of mixing players to make this team great – I know this is extremely difficult situation to build a team that works well together to be a great team.

Captain – Future: I thought I had this figured out, but now my tail is between my legs, so I can play football.

Daily Focus – Searching for Breakthroughs:

Please watch this scene and provide your insights/breakthroughs into what makes this character great from a writing perspective. </div>

This character has so many conflicts/hurdles to overcome throughout this film. Mostly having to do with race, character, skill as a coach is not at the top in this scene.
What doesn’t make this a great character to write? I mean the conflict is already built in, with skin color. No matter what people think, racism is alive and kicking. It’s an unfortunate thing to have to deal with racism in this modern day – so this film should make a comeback or be a “Netflix” pick.
I don’t remember if this was based on a true story.

How the coach works through and deals with all the conflicts in this scene and what is to come, shows that as a person he has great integrity. I love that he has such a great attitude walking into this crowd of people. The only other black man is the reverend (I guess the other players are on the bus). The coach flows through the crowd like he is a “princess” with a new gown. His smile, his positive attitude, his swagger, walking tall with strength in his shoulders and his dialogue. I would be proud to have him as my dad. He shows no fear in this situation which is what is so great about him, we know he must have lots of fear. I can only hope that one day there is a character in my writing that can have these great characteristics.

<font face=”inherit”>I have a step Mom in my script, that doesn’t have much going on. But I would like her to have more impact on the main character (it is not </font>apparent<font face=”inherit”> because she is almost a side bar). The main character deals with so many conflicts and super bad things happen in her life, that I think the Mom should have influence in one way or another. So working on some traits now, and work on how the conflicts can generate change and have more powerful impacts on the story over all. </font>

[Liz]

WATCH 1st TIME FOR:

What tension comes from putting these two worthy opponents face-to-face? <div>

This is such a great film. Johnny Ringo is like a mirror image of Doc Holliday. The immediately hate each other, not just because they are on opposite sides. Doc Holliday really is on the side of his best friend which is different than Johnny Ringo.

Johnny believes he could take Doc Holliday on and he challenges him in this scene

Doc Holliday welcomes the challenge

JR shows off his ability, skills, quickness with his pistol

DH doesn’t pull his pistol because he will shoot him dead if he does. Instead he uses his tin cup to mock JR with the same moves in a lazy way.

What does Doc discover about Johnny’s character in their first meeting?

DH sees that he is the younger healthier version of himself. He hates him “like looking in a mirror”

How these two characters stand out from the others.

There isn’t anything standing in their way (in their minds)

They both are accomplished skilled gun slingers

Despite DH’s illness, his mind is very clear and knows how he can handle himself.

WATCH 2nd TIME FOR:

What drama is this scene built around? </div><div>

There is a tightrope situation with rivalry based on hearing the word on the street. Until this scene, they don’t know each other face to face. Things unsaid, the looks back and forth. JR challenges DH immediately, he must show who is the boss of gunslinging. DH is quick with sarcasm and mocking JR with a tin cup slinging.

What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?

JR: He doesn’t have any secrets, he wants to show everyone how clever, quick and strong he can be. He wants to show that he has no fear. And maybe his secret is ‘fear’. He believes nothing can touch him – his confidence in his skills will rival anyone who challenges him. He believes he will live beyond anyone in the room or anyone he faces. DH is a rival that is formidable and a worthy opponent that he would relish in conquering. He is salivating at the thought of killing DH in a gunfight.

DH: He does not have any secrets. He is clearly ill (wound) and has no fear, he knows his future is death. If he dies in a gunfight that would be his choice. He isn’t hiding behind his guns, prowess with women, his intellect or his friends. He doesn’t want to die, not ready to die – but he does know his future.

Daily Focus – Searching for Breakthroughs:

Please watch this scene and provide your insights/breakthroughs into what makes this character great from a writing perspective.

What doesn’t make these characters great? Such a fantastic film. Trying to come at this as if I have never seen this film before (10 times). </div>

Even though Wyatt Earp is trying to settle down away from violence – he anticipates trouble (gun under table). His past has taught him that he can never be lazy about the possibility of a gun fight (this is the wild west).

DH is only following his best friend Wyatt – I think he is reluctant to be “settled”, his mind set is always ready and willing. He knows he will fight again at anytime. He will protect his friend at any cost. He will stand by Wyatt’s side until the end, no question. His TB will eventually take him out, he knows his future is grim.

JR and the cowboys, are surprisingly over confident. They have only met WE and DH face to face. JR is so over confident, that he must show off and get a great round of applause for his skilled techniques. But totally put off by DH’s nonchalance and his mocking – while receiving big laughter from the crowd, putting JR in almost a bad light. His eyes say that he will gladly kill DH right now.

Both DH and WE are very relaxed, aware, and more mature. This makes them very dangerous, but JR thinks he knows more than they do. He does not respect their history, skills, etc..

What I learned: I will need to pull from “real life” perspective to create some great conflict and desire to win. In looking at this again, have more insight into what I need to build on my characters. Also, the acting is so fantastic. These actors were well cast into these roles. I can only hope that my script would be used in such a way (well cast, well acted and well directed). The historical material does help this story to be more compelling.

[Liz]

What causes you to believe these two belong together? <div>

Spirited
Wild
Very cross with the situation in the moment

Notice any similar emotions and actions.

Ready to fight anyone “I’ll take you all on”, Seabiscuit is saying the same thing in it’s actions.
Maybe not too happy with most people in general

What drama is this scene built around?

Taming or managing the wild beast inside these two characters
Making good use of the Wild and Spirited side of them.
Conflicts between animals and humans. How does a human understand and animal? Why do some humans gain the confidence of an animal vs. those that do not. How some animals, like humans are angry at the world, misunderstood, do not have good outlet of negative energy.

<font face=”inherit”>Also, a trust between Seabiscuit and Red that develops, a love story of sorts.

What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?

We can only assume that Seabiscuit is unhappy with something. This horse clearly was chosen because of </font>physical<font face=”inherit”> strength and speed.
We can see that Red’s character is easily as unhappy, and he is strong by taking on 3+ men. </font>

<font face=”inherit”>
</font>

Daily Focus – Searching for Breakthroughs:

– Please watch this scene and provide your insights/breakthroughs into what makes this character great from a writing perspective.

Insight/Breakthrough is when the trainer (manager) sees the same spirit in Red as he does in Seabiscuit.
Not just any jockey can ride this horse. Seabiscuit has trust issues.

– Rethink or create a scene for your script using your new insights and rewrite that scene/character.

I have a character that is very much like Seabiscuit. He is a wild, mean, angry man who loves to fight. I do need to re-look at his wound(s). I think abandonment being one and lost love being the other. But this character’s only redeeming quality is that he is good at fighting. I do need to re-look at his traits and find something that makes him somewhat likable. He is a knarly guy.

</div>

[Liz]

What causes you to believe these two belong together?

They make the same response to comments of radio host
Sarcastic attitude towards the show

Notice any similar emotions, words, and actions.

Same reactions, sarcastic comments

What drama is this scene built around?

A romantic comedy of the Widower and the single woman looking for love
Potential relationships after the loss of a loved one
Son is missing his mom, and knows dad is not happy. Son wants his dad to move forward.
Idealistic love and romance

What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?

Sarcasm (both are very cynical with the doctor)
Interested in possibilities of love (admitted or not)
Wound of the death of his wife and getting past the pain, loss and missing his wife at Christmas
Future: realizing possibilities. She responds “Yes” (answering for him), to comment of …”maybe you need someone too…”

Daily Focus – Searching for Breakthroughs:

1. Please watch this scene and provide your insights/breakthroughs into what makes this character great from a writing perspective.

Tom Hank’s character is a bit of a lost soul after the loss of his wife. He is not very happy with life, but he needs to be there (body and soul) for his son.

His son seems to understand that his dad needs someone in his life again. It wouldn’t be too bad if dad was happy and a woman that could also love a step son.<div>

2. Read the other writers comments and make notes of any insights/breakthroughs you like.

I like Cara’s comment: What I learned rewriting my scene is more about the characters that are NOT right for each other… and that the characters need to understand this to move on. BELONGING TOGETHER

In thinking about Cara’s comment – I think that my story is about a big family that can’t get along even when trying to save lives. How a power struggle between siblings becomes tragic. This is the ultimate of ‘not belonging’ together. I will give this more thought and break down the traits of these individuals.
The love relationship between boyfriend and son have solid belonging together traits, but will also give more thought about what those traits mean.

3. Rethink or create a scene for your script using your new insights and rewrite that scene/character.

One of my scripts does have two young people that fall in love. The written one scene of physical love and then they talk about their son and how excited they are he is turning 5 years old.

This script is not about their love, but that love does have an impact on her future life.

More about extended family dynamic and the tragedy of loss. How main character must survive on her own in a desisted world.

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• This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by  Liz Dwyer.

[Liz]

This is a scene I just wrote to build on – it’s very rough.

Sonia (13 years old)

INT. BATHROOM – DAY

Sonia enters the bathroom and ignores other girls to go into an empty stall. She waits until she thinks the girls have left. She opens the stall door to find three girls waiting in silence for her. They are lighting up a joint.

SONIA

Uuuhh – hi!

DANIA

Hi! You want a hit?

Holds a joint out to her.

SONIA

Mmmm sure!

Grabs the joint and takes a hit.

DANIA

Geeze, who do you think you are, taking such a big hit?

SONIA

SsSorry

Dania gets in her face and starts shoving her into the stall. Sonia falls back onto the open toilet. The girls laugh hard. Dania places her hands around Sonia’s neck and squeezes. Sonia struggles to get away, tears flow down her face, gasping for air. The other girls back away to run out of the bathroom. Dania squeezes until Sonia passes out. Dania, kisses Sonia’s forehead, lays her body on the floor. She takes out a rusty knife and lowers Sonia’s sock revealing her ankle. The knife cuts precisely and stopes suddenly. The bathroom door opens. Dania quickly pushes past the person, runs out. The girl walking in is so surprised that she doesn’t go into the bathroom.

Sonia stirs awake with a huge gasp! She feels this sting on her ankle and checks it. She wipes the trickle of blood with her finger. Pulls herself up from the floor and rinses her hands in the sink, checks herself (hair, clothes/skirt, face, pulls up her sock). She takes a deep breath and settles her self as if nothing is the matter, before she walks out of the bathroom.

[Liz]

What causes both characters to reveal their wounds?<div>

Skylar wants Will to go to CA with herWill asks her, “how do you know”? Conversation ensuesHe makes his excuses to why he can’t goShe asks why, then the damn breaks with Will and he reveals more wounds and doesn’t want to be open.How are those wounds motivating their emotions, actions, and reactions? She wants to be with him, because she loves him…Will can’t admit he loves her, he can’t admit that he is afraid to leave his friends, his communityHe fears change, he is comfortable in his ‘world’He reveals wounds to her, she doesn’t care, but he doesn’t believe anyone could love him for who he is.He doesn’t believe that he can be lovedHe throws those emotions at her to push her away, so that he doesn’t have to feel the emotional hurt.Physical hurt is easy, emotional hurt is more difficult and new. He doesn’t know how to deal with those emotions. How is each character threatening the other’s wound?

Watch 2nd time for:

What drama was this scene built around? It’s built around the possible future they could haveWhat traits showed up in these character’s words and actions? An argument about worlds (hers/his) Will: We could be in CA and you find out something about me that you don’t like. Now I am stuck in CA.I didn’t say I didn’t love youDon’t tell me about your worldWill does not expect her to accept himHe does not believe that his wounds will not be too much for her to handle, that his wounds will be thrown back into his face. He does not want to take the chance to live a different life. He believes he is a bottomless pit, so no one should or can love him.Argument, nearly is violent. He believes there is nothing that can be good in his life. He accepts defeat because he has had so many struggles pushing him back down to the point he only knows a few things are real in his life (he doesn’t believe ‘love’ is real). His friends and daily routines are reliable (real). Skylar doesn’t know all his wounds, nor does she care. She knows she loves being with Will and is in love. It’s naivety that brings things crashing down on her, she is crushed by his final words.Will: I don’t love you (leaves the room)

Daily Focus – Searching for Breakthroughs:

Please watch this scene and provide your insights/breakthroughs into what makes this character great from a writing perspective.</div><div>

Will is extremely brilliant minded character He has been torn up torn down, abandoned, abused and has no hope for a future.He does not want change in his world, despite how his friends and Skylar believe he can do anything he wants to, have a wonderful life.He feels so strongly in his convictions of not being lovable, that he can’t let go and live a different life.Read the other writers comments and make notes of any insights/breakthroughs you like. Rethink or create a scene for your script using your new insights and rewrite that scene/character. My main character goes through some similar struggles in her young life and then later as a young adult. However, she does get support in an adoptive situation. The antagonist, I believe needs more work on the traits and actions. I do have some ideas now of what I may add to this character and how life struggles propel a character in certain directions.

What I have learned:

I want to build inner conflicts and wounds that reveal themselves throughout the story. Sometimes the wounds gush out in a flurry of anger and violence.The inner conflicts/wounds are important in making characters captivating, we can empathize with some wounds/conflicts, and how others may feed those conflicts/wounds.
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[Liz]

What I learned rewriting my scene/character…
My character is compelling in that, like Kate’s character, is unexpected. Looks are deceiving.My character is also very devious and psychotic, where Kate can be devious, but she does have a conscience. I believe that the most important thing I learned is the importance of understanding this exercise to dig into the secrets that can be revealed. And several ways I can create my own reveals throughout my scripts. Since my script is episodic, this allows more time to have those reveals come out in moments that make an action or dialogue more relevant to the viewer. I do hope that I can write my characters so they have those cool ah ha moments in an intelligent compelling way. <div>I got distracted from class assignments because I was writing on my script.</div>

[Liz]

Kate is young, beautiful and she is not a push over, her character is mysterious/secretive. She is alluring to the audience craves to know more about her character. Jack has the first reveal/breakthrough when when he is helping the dying Marshall – Kate is a fugitive.In the scene with Sawyer, he is an obnoxious guy, who figures he will sleep with Kate (if they haven’t already) and uses a drinking game to find things out about her. At this point she appears to find futility in the “Lost” situation and gives into this ruse. Eventually Sawyer discovers they have something in common – they have both killed a man. Now he can hold things over her head as his character does with other characters.Sawyer scene, also reveals that Kate wants to tell the truth. She is “guilty” but she is resolved in the fact that maybe she felt there was no other choice, but to kill him. The last scene shows what happened,that has made her a fugitive (killer). We assume when drunk says, what the hell is that smell?, that there is gas smell. Big reveal – the house blows up.The last scene also shows that Kate is tough, rides a motorcycle from the house, which then blows up. We don’t know exactly who this drunk guy is – I thought maybe it’s her father. There isn’t enough information in the scene to know, most likely her husband. But she has resolve on her face, that leads us to think that she has come to the point of no return with this relationship. She isn’t happy, sad or doesn’t appear angry. But resolved in that, this is the only way to get out from under this situation.

What I learned rewriting my scene/character…

My character is compelling in that, like Kate’s character, is unexpected. Looks are deceiving.My character is also very devious and psychotic, where Kate can be devious, but she does have a conscience. I believe that the most important thing I learned is the importance of understanding this exercise to dig into the secrets that can be revealed. And one of many ways I can create those reveals.I got distracted from class assignments because I was writing on my script

[Liz]

Watch 1st time for:

Where is Junah coming from? Frustration, you can sense it in his demeanor, his body/stance is very tense.He swings and you can sense that disappointment in himself.Where is Bagger Vance coming from? He is there in the moment.Relaxed, ConfidentNo sense of Care in the worldHe has warmth in his voiceHe has an agenda to be a ‘caddy’Strongly encouraged to hit the ball, bagger knows exactly what Junah needs to see and hear to get him to get that swing again.What makes them right for their roles in this movie?

Watch 2nd time for:

What drama was this scene built around? Junah appears at first to be getting some frustration out, you can see that he is frustrated with himself in his swing.Whether or not Junah can get his swing or get the satisfaction of hitting the ball the way he used to (as it seems)What traits showed up in these two character’s words and actions? Bagger is an instigator to get Junah’s ego in the game (so to speak), Pushing Junah with dialogue “no sir, I set myself directly in front of you and judging how you was hitting them balls – I would be out of harms way”Junah is surprised by that response.Baggar is very direct/purposeful in his words that make Junah step back into his shoes to get the focus that is needed to follow through on that ball.

BREAKTHROUGHS:

Junah’s surprise when Baggar shows up, so irreverent towards Junah’s hitting that ballBaggar is not swayed by Junah, and speaks his own mind.There is no sense that Baggar will back down, but Junah is surprised that Baggar speaks when he is trying to swing.Baggar says “you a golfer?” You can see that – Junah was silently asking himself that very question.Junah feels that Baggar’s insight hits too close to home.The moment when Baggar sets the first ball down for Junah “Lord knows how awful you look if you do…”, Junah hand Baggar the clubBaggar hits the ball perfectly“So, you’re a golfer”The trick is …You lost your swing….we got to go find it…”, all that is, all that was, all that will be” (fantastic execution in dialogue and acting)Junah realizes his swing, but Baggar reminds him it’s in there.

I like the comment: “Junah could be every-person”

Because it does say that we (audience) can relate to frustrations of “I used to be …..” making us more empathetic to his character. While with Baggar, being the conscience (inner voice) sitting on your shoulder saying these things to you, but you won’t listen. But having a person come out and say “you lost your swing” and the ah ha moment of – Yes! That is exactly why I am out here – to find my swing.

What I learned about these two characters and watching the magical moment (Ah Ha) done so eloquently by these two actors. The (writing) dialogue feels natural and I am sure the actors placed their own words in too, to make it more real for them. But I feel because it was written so well, it certainly gave this particular scene a wonderful, magical moment for the audience as it unfolded.

One of my characters does have a moment of great realization, but I feel after breaking this down I can go back and re-write things to bring this “magical”, “ah ha” moment to fruition. This scene is visually lovely and dialogue is executed so well – I really need to see this movie again, to study these two characters more in-depth.

[Liz]

What future is Sarah Connor living into? <div>

In this scene she is only beginning to believe that Kyle is for real, even after everyone is shot up at police station. Her future is up in the air, maybe she doesn’t see a future at this point, except what is happening in the moment.

What future is Kyle Reese living into? He is living to meet the mother of the future. He is enamored of Sarah and John. He can see John’s eyes in hers, Kyle is emotionally involved and that is where his compassion comes from to keep her warm as she is shivering. He is on a mission for his hero ‘John’ and heroin ‘Sarah’. Kyle is honored and dedicated to his mission to save Sarah. He would “die” for both John and Sarah. Unknowingly he is the father of John Connor sent by John so that John will exist in the future. We don’t know this yet, the story Kyle tells Sarah (is cut off) that John’s father dies before the war. Speaking of his own unknown future in the past.

What is Sarah’s transformation that is implied by this scene? She instinctively dresses Kyle’s wound without really knowing anything about it, she has the compassion and instinct to know what needs to be done in that moment. She insists on dressing Kyle’s wound. Sarah is ambivalent, scared, unprepared, non believer… but as she learns about Kyle, John and her future, she is angered by this potential future. She stands up to deliver the lines with anger (she is a fighter), “I didn’t ask for this honor and I don’t want it!! Any of it!” (The reluctant heroine). At the end of the scene Sarah goes back to sit with Kyle and asks him to tell her another story. She is all in at this point.

Watch 2nd time for:

What drama was this scene built around?

Convincing the reluctant heroine to believe she has a future.

What traits showed up in these two character’s words and actions?

She is a fighter before she even really realizes it. Sarah is ambivalent, but the possibilities of what she has witnessed are starting to sink in. She stands up for herself to declare – “I didn’t ask for this honor and I don’t want it!! Any of it!”
Kyle on the other hand feels honored to be in her presence. He is enamored by her and of John.
Kyle is sent to convince her to live for the future he presents to her – which is not that great. A time after a big war that she survives to be the mother of the future.
For Sarah, this is not the future she would choose for herself. She is conflicted and does not want to accept the future.

Daily Focus – Searching for Breakthroughs:

Please watch this scene and provide your insights/breakthroughs into what makes this character great from a writing perspective.

– What makes Sarah Connor’s character great, is that she transforms from a meek and mild waitress. In this scene, Sarah finds her voice and says I don’t want this, any of it. Unknowingly she is a true fighter. You can see it in her demeanor too as she declares that she will not accept this.

I only saw one other person that commented at this point and do have very similar takes on this. This film is one of my all time favorites as I saw it when it first came out in the 80’s. I was in the military and living overseas, so the ‘cold war’ really had an impact on us. So a very significant movie for me. It’s hard to look at this film with fresh eyes, I have re-watched it so many times.</div>

The character I have build based on Sarah Connor, in my own post apocalyptic drama is very different. My work days don’t allow much time to take a scene, I will read the script tonight and re-look at the transformation that occurs in my character.

[Liz]

Hi,

I go by Storm, my name is Elizabeth

I have yet to complete 6 scripts. The thing is, is that I have almost completed four of the six, but i am not feeling the intensity I am looking for. Just keep hitting a wall. Focus is an issue.

– 3 are Full length films

– 3 are episodic

What I hope to get out of this class:

Get the intensity by developing my characters better. Completing my scripts would be so gratifying, I mean just to get that first draft completed. Then the rewrites. An Ah Ha moment is just around the corner, I can feel it.

Something unique/strange about me: I am constantly thinking about character in humans. What comes in between goodness and evil. How unique characters in everyday life are all around us. Where do I reside in this? Most of all how everyday things can be so beautiful and the characters that come together for breakfast or farting in the middle of watching a movie. How darkness can creep out of characters that seem to have everything they need?

I feel like I have been studying real life characters all my life. The first script I started to write just flowed out of my fingers and I had written a post apocalyptic sci-fi story. I couldn’t believe the world I created and the situations or events. I was certainly surprised of the depth I had developed. This class will be good and set my mind moving forward again, I have been stuck. I want to understand my creativity better, gain those breakthrough moments of development in my characters. I am so excited to move forward on this journey.

[Liz]

Elizabeth (Storm) Dwyer

I agree with confidentiality agreement.

[Liz]

Insights -This scene is set up to show the similarities and major differences of the characters by placing them in a Harvard Bar. Will watches his buddy Chuckie kind of make an ass of himself, even though Skylar seems amused and maybe interested. Will steps in finally to show off himself in front of the ladies when ‘student’ is about to show Chuckie up. Will finally steps in, at he right moment to ‘save the day’. We now know that Will has probably read a large percentage of text books and can recite by page. Breakthrough – Will invites student to fight and can see in his eyes that he will never back down

This scene shows these guys love to shake and stir things up. They are adventurous in that they just want to see what happens. School educated vs. Street educated, who will win? Challenge to get girls to talk to them and hope for more. If they get into a fight they will gladly take any one on. It feels like a real situation (this a possibility) we don’t have to suspend our disbelief to enjoy this scene (film). The characters feel true.

Traits

Will – Looks like he was in a fight (recently), He most likely has a photographic memory, He is a good friend by standing up for them, doesn’t care if he gets i to a fight (breakthrough) in fact looking to fight. When he speaks to student, he has an eloquence despite his disheveled look and blue heavy accent.

Skylar – enjoys the situation with Chuckie, she is probably bored(breakthrough), she knows who she is and doesn’t mind telling ‘student’ to lay off

Chuckie – like Will, he looks like he was in a fight, he is the big man around town (if only in his own mind), he likes to show off, but really wants to impress the girls and get laid.