[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s 4 pitches

Well, it looks like we lost a bunch of posts. Hoping to exchange feedback with someone, I will leave my e-mail right here, also feel free to send a connection request here in ‘screenwritingclasses’ for messaging. Anyone care to exchange?

e-mail: ejwooten@protonmail.com

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s 4 Pitches

Elevator:

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF TWO 8-YEAR-OLD ORPHAN RUNAWAYS MOVED INTO THE WORLD’S BIGGEST SHOPPING MALL?

Phone pitch:

Hi, I’m Erik Wooten, and I have a family comedy (-drama) movie that’s ANNIE meets HOME ALONE in a shopping mall.

Q: Budget = Low end of High

Q: Who do you see in the main roles?

This movie would be the perfect opportunity for two child actors who have really promising talent.

Sarah (32): Amanda (42): ( IF RENEE ZELLWEGER COULD BE MADE TO LOOK JUST A FEW YEARS YOUNGER THAN HER REAL AGE, THIS IS THE ROLE FOR HER, A SUPPORTING ROLE BUT A STAND-OUT, WITH UNLIKELY TENDERNESS. ) (KIRSTEN DUNST, or actresses of her position.)

Q: How many pages? =109

Q: Why do you think this fits our company?

First, I love many of the movies the company has done, particularly _________ and _________. And this movie is very much in the spirit of your other successes, such as ________ and __________. I believe it fits right in.

Q: How does it end?

Back
at the boarding house, Mara’s adoption is approaching its final stages, and
this means that she and Penny will be separated forever. But at the last minute, Mara declares that she
doesn’t want to go along with the adoption.

Mall employee Sarah seeks adoption of both Penny & Mara, but not only does she learn about Mara’s prospective parents, but she also learns that she is disqualified to adopt. But because Mara’s adoption basically falls through, that buys everyone the time for Sarah to change her circumstances and be qualified to adopt. At the end, we see Penny and Mara out on a day visit with Sarah and her new husband.

Pitch Fest pitch:

Hi,
I’m Erik, I write family comedies and holiday movies / [ I’ve won ________
contest ]. I have a FAMILY COMEDY titled PENNY & MARA MOVE TO THE MALL.

What would happen if two 8-year-old orphan runaways moved into the world’s biggest shopping mall?

OR:

Two runaway orphans find a belief in themselves while trying to survive in the world’s biggest shopping mall.

OR:

Two mismatched orphans escape their boarding house and move into the world’s biggest mall to shop for parents but instead find a belief in themselves.

OR:

An orphan girl accidentally starts a fire in her boarding house. The result? A coming-of-age journey of survival in the world’s biggest shopping mall!

Budget: Low end of High

Actors
:

This movie would be the perfect opportunity for two child actors who have really promising talent.

Sarah (32):

Amanda (42): ( IF RENEE ZELLWEGER COULD BE MADE TO LOOK JUST A FEW YEARS YOUNGER THAN HER REAL AGE, THIS IS THE ROLE FOR HER, A SUPPORTING ROLE BUT A STAND-OUT, WITH SOME UNEXPECTED TENDERNESS. )

(KIRSTEN DUNST, or actresses of her position.)

In Act 1, Penny obliviously starts a fire in the kitchen of the boarding house or orphanage and escapes out a window onto a back alley, where she comes face to face with Mara, another of the orphan kids, who also obviously escaped. Penny leads them down the alley, onto the street, and into the mall.

Act 2, is the heart of Penny and Mara’s experience living in the world’s biggest mall—they learn how to survive and even thrive, shop for parents, lose each other in a character-defining crisis, are reunited, make a pact to only be adopted together, and finally are caught by investigators and taken back to the orphanage.

In Act 3, Mara’s pending adoption threatens to separate her and Penny forever. Former mall employee Sarah is the only hope as the adoptive parent of Penny and Mara, even though she is disqualified to adopt.

How does it end? On their mall adventure, Penny and Mara found a belief in themselves together and made a pact that they would always be together. Now, back at the boarding house, Mara’s adoption that started many months prior is coming to the final stages, threatening to separate Penny and Mara forever. Mara has always been waiting for loving parents to adopt her, and this is them. But because of their shared experience in the mall, they have a bond and a vow to be sisters—they need each other more than they need parents. Mara declares that she doesn’t want to be adopted. Meanwhile, Penny doesn’t know all this, and, outside, as the story approaches the end, Sarah makes Penny understand that she’s not allowed to adopt yet but no matter what happens, they will always be in each other’s lives. Months later, Penny and Mara are out on a day visit with Sarah and her new husband–and to their mock dread, they are going to the mall!

Query letter:

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF TWO 8-YEAR-OLD ORPHAN RUNAWAYS MOVED INTO THE WORLD’S BIGGEST SHOPPING MALL?

Worldly-wise orphan Penny believes that she will never be adopted and that adults cannot be trusted. But timid, dignified Mara is patiently waiting for the perfect parents who will give her a belief in herself. So when they escape their boarding house during a fire, Penny sees her chance to take charge of her life. It lies only a couple blocks away—the world’s biggest shopping mall!

When they take shelter in the mega-mall, Mara has no idea that Penny has no intention of ever going back, and Penny has the perfect sop to get Mara to go along with her plan—they can find their own parents here in the mall!

But when they lose each other they are cast adrift and totally on their own.

By a miracle, they eventually reunite, but soon their luck runs out—they are caught and taken back to the boarding house. Having begun months ago, Mara’s adoption now looks like a sure thing. What now will become of the girls and their pact to only be adopted together? A long-shot hope lies in former mall employee Sarah—if she can overcome being disqualified to adopt.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Pitch-Fest Pitch

(1.&2.) “Hi, I’m Erik, I write family comedies and holiday movies / [ I’ve won ________ contest ]. I have a family comedy-drama titled PENNY & MARA MOVE TO THE MALL.

(3.) What would happen if two 8-year-old orphan runaways moved into the world’s biggest shopping mall?

OR:

Two runaway orphans find a belief in themselves while trying to survive in the world’s biggest shopping mall.

OR:

Two mismatched orphans escape their boarding house and move into the world’s biggest mall to shop for parents but instead find a belief in themselves.

OR:

An orphan girl accidentally starts a fire in her boarding house. The result? A coming-of-age journey of survival in the world’s biggest shopping mall!

(4.) Budget: Low end of Middle

Actors : Yikes! I don’t know for Penny and Mara. Sarah: Amanda:

In Act 1, Penny obliviously starts a fire in the kitchen of the boarding house or orphanage and escapes out a window onto a back alley, where she comes face to face with Mara, another of the orphan kids, who also obviously escaped. Penny leads them down the alley, onto the street, and into the mall.

Act 2 is the heart of Penny and Mara’s experience living in the world’s biggest mall—they learn how to survive and even thrive, shop for parents, lose each other in a character-defining crisis, are reunited, make a pact to only be adopted together, and finally are caught by investigators and taken back to the orphanage.

In Act 3, Mara’s pending adoption threatens to separate her and Penny forever. Former mall employee Sarah is the only hope as the adoptive parent of Penny and Mara, even though she is disqualified to adopt.

How does it end? On their mall adventure, Penny and Mara found a belief in themselves together and made a pact that they would always be together. Now, back at the boarding house, Mara’s adoption that started many months prior is coming to the final stages, threatening to separate Penny and Mara forever. Mara has always been waiting for loving parents to adopt her, and this is them. But because of their shared experience in the mall, they have a bond and a vow to be sisters—they need each other more than they need parents. Mara declares that she doesn’t want to be adopted. Meanwhile, Penny doesn’t know all this, and, outside, as the story approaches the end, Sarah makes Penny understand that she’s not allowed to adopt yet but no matter what happens, they will always be in each other’s lives. Months later, Penny and Mara are out on a day visit with Sarah and her new husband–and to their mock dread, they are going to the mall!

(5.) Credibility : (Prospective, hopeful: I won ______ contest with another of my scripts and from that I now have representation with _______.)

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Query Letter

What I learned doing this assignment… I really had to distill this synopsis down, but I was a little surprised to see that it still retains the essence of the story without seeming like it is missing a lot. This is a great exercise for drilling down to the essence of the story, amidst all the great twists, turns, and details, and what is left gives you the best indication as to whether the story holds up as a pitch rather than a screenplay. This is still a little wordy but still rough.

“An orphan girl accidentally starts a fire in her boarding house. The result? A coming-of-age journey of survival in the world’s biggest shopping mall!

Worldly-wise orphan Penny believes that she will never be adopted and that adults cannot be trusted. But timid, dignified Mara is patiently waiting for the perfect parents who will give her a belief in herself. So when they escape their boarding house during a fire and find themselves within seeing distance of the world’s biggest mall, Penny sees her chance to take charge of her life.

When they take shelter in the mega-mall only a couple blocks away from the boarding house, Mara has no idea that Penny has no intention of ever going back, and Penny has the perfect sop to get Mara to go along with her plan—they can find their own parents here in the mall!

Penny & Mara survive their first night in the mall, but they don’t know that a search for them is underway. Except, no one yet knows where they are—and can they be found in the world’s biggest mall? But finally, their luck runs out when they are caught by the search investigators and taken back to the boarding house.

Mara’s adoption began months ago, and now it is looking like she will be adopted. What will become of the girls and their pact to always be together? A long-shot hope lies in former mall employee Sarah—if she can get past being disqualified to adopt.

If you like this concept / If you find this story appealing, I would be happy to send you the script.

[Contact info]

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Erik Wooten.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s High Concept and Elevator Pitch

What I learned doing this assignment… The elevator pitch came quite easily and actually came to me several days before doing this assignment, it literally just came to me. I have kept it regardless of what I learned in this assignment. Getting the high concept was trickier and was an exercise in going back and forth between the best way to present more than a couple of hooks as well as the second-guessing that goes on when you have more than a couple of hooks–which are the “real” ones and which just seem like hooks?

1. and 2. :

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”><s>Dilemma:</s>

<s>Main conflict:</s><s> Penny doesn’t want to go back, Mara does.</s>

What’s at stake? Realize that they only need their friendship but face losing each other forever. Survival.

Goal / Unique opposition: Surviving on their own in the world’s biggest shopping mall… and finding parents.

HIGH CONCEPT:

“TWO MISMATCHED ORPHANS ESCAPE THEIR BOARDING HOUSE AND MOVE INTO WORLD’S BIGGEST MALL WHERE THEY DECIDE TO PICK THEIR PARENTS, REALIZE THEY ONLY NEED THEIR FRIENDSHIP, THEN FACE LOSING EACH OTHER FOREVER.”

3. ELEVATOR PITCH:

“TWO
RUNAWAY ORPHANS FIND A BELIEF IN THEMSELVES WHILE TRYING TO SURVIVE—AND FIND PARENTS—IN THE WORLD’S BIGGEST
SHOPPING MALL.”

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Synopsis Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment… This assignment is a great help and is really bringing things together. It feels like just the thing needed to bring the pitch together. Narrowing down to six to ten hooks is vital to separate out too many details and of course builds on the previous assignment nicely. I am a litle unclear on whether the goal for the hooks in the list is to make them as concise as possible, but either way, it is still a very effective creative exercise to take them no matter how wordy they are and shorten them into the synopsis composition. My first draft is a little lengthy, but I know I can shorten it down the road.

HOOKS:

1. New pitch sentence = “TWO RUNAWAY ORPHANS FIND A BELIEF IN THEMSELVES WHILE TRYING TO SURVIVE—AND FIND PARENTS—IN THE WORLD’S BIGGEST SHOPPING MALL.”

2. Survival adventure in the world’s biggest shopping mall (CM) + mall’s qualities (Setting)

3. Because of the fact that there is a residential section in the mall, Penny & Mara notice that they aren’t especially attracting any attention as two 8-year-olds on their own. They are free! (MIT) BUT, UNKNOWN TO THEM, A SEARCH IS UNDERWAY FOR THEM. BUT DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHERE THEY ARE—AND CAN THEY BE FOUND IN THE WORLD’S BIGGEST MALL?

4. Contrast / qualities of Penny & Mara (MIT)

5. Penny & Mara losing each other and Amanda taking Penny in

6. What happens to them when they go back to the boarding house? (Turns out that Mara’s prospective adoption began months ago, and it is looking like she will be adopted. What does this mean for lonely Penny?)

7. When she gets taken in by Amanda, Penny now has to make a choice between now being secure with a place to live and an adult that she actually likes, or going back to find Mara.

8. Sarah plot?

9. “Are they really going to stay in the mall? Will they get caught / Can they elude capture?”

FIRST DRAFT:

Worldly-wise orphan Penny believes that she will never be adopted and that adults cannot be trusted. So when she escapes her boarding house during a fire and finds herself out on the street and within seeing distance from the world’s biggest mall, she sees her chance to take charge of her life. She would rather brave the unknown than be stuck in the boarding house and never be adopted. But timid, dignified Mara is patiently waiting for the perfect parents who will give her the self-confidence and self-esteem that she needs.

So when they take shelter in the world’s biggest mall only a couple blocks away from the boarding house, Mara has no idea that Penny has no intention of ever going back, and Penny knows that she can convince—or at least strong-arm—Mara into going along with the plan. Penny has the perfect sop for this—they can find their own parents here in the mall!

Penny is not all that interested in actually finding parents—it was more of an act to get Mara to go along with her plan to take charge of her life, away from the boarding house. When they spend their first night in the mall, they have “moved into” the mall, and Mara knows that she is in this with Penny to the end.

Not only are there space-age glass tube elevators, a full-blown trolley system, and giant toy and candy stores, but a residential section too. Is it because there are residents in the mall that Penny & Mara notice that they aren’t especially attracting any attention as two 8-year-olds on their own? They are free!

But, unknown to them, a search is underway for them. Yet does anybody know where they are—and can they be found in the world’s biggest mall?

When Penny & Mara lose each other in the mall, they are cast adrift and totally on their own. Boozing, wealthy, mall resident Amanda takes Penny into her house, and Mara has to make a choice to stay in the mall or go back to the boarding house.

During her time with Amanda, Penny realizes for the first time that there is a grown-up out there who cares for her, but she makes the decision to go back and find Mara, leaving Amanda behind. By a miracle, or maybe just intuition and step-retracing, Penny and Mara find each other again, and vow that they will always be together.

Finally, their luck runs out—they are caught by the search investigators and taken back to the boarding house.

What now will become of the girls and their pact to always be together? It is looking like Mara is going to be adopted. What does this mean for lonely Penny? And will former mall employee Sarah be back to give the girls a happy ending?

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Erik Wooten.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s 10 Most Interesting Things

<i style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What I learned from this assignment… A lot! Obviously this helped to narrow the focus for the pitch. The guidelines for the specific hooks were obviously helpful, and coming up with some others that were not part of the hook options filled in the blanks perfectly. The choice to come up with our own helps sharpen the ability to recognize what really is most interesting and to think from a marketing perspective.

1. MOST UNIQUE ABOUT LEAD : Penny is an orphan who has been in the boarding house for four years, and as a result she believes that she will never be adopted and that adults cannot be trusted. So when she escapes during the fire, finds herself out on the street and within seeing distance from the world’s biggest mall, she sees her chance to take charge of her life. She would rather brave the unknown than be stuck in the boarding house and never be adopted.

(She is the street-smart one, and she has no fear. She also is always eating. Something deep inside her tells her that she is in charge of her own destiny.)

MOST UNIQUE ABOUT LEAD: Mara is quite the opposite. She is patiently waiting for the perfect parents to come into her life to give her the self-confidence and self-esteem that she needs. Whereas Penny is ready for a daring adventure into the unknown, Mara is the type to be scared of that. Yet on their adventure, she discovers her self-confidence and begins to see herself as a special kid, irrespective of whether she has parents.

(Mara great sense of direction, which allows her, and Penny, to navigate the massive mall. It also helps her at a crucial turning point to orient herself back into the mall after leaving the mall and flirting with the idea of going back to the boarding house.)

2. Setting. The mall world. (Complete with space-age glass tube elevators, a trolley system, and residential luxury apartments.)

3. CHARACTER BETRAYAL : Daphne, the steward mother, or house head mistress, the one who supervises the adoption process, has been blindly discriminating against all candidates expressing an interest in Penny for the last four years. We don’t discover this until the final act.

This is the cause of Penny’s belief that she will never be adopted and her worldview that adults cannot be trusted.

4. MAJOR TURNING POINT: Penny and Mara lose each other in the mall, and Penny gets taken into Amanda’s house (While Mara braves the mall on her own until she makes her way into the lounge area of the luxury apartments).

5. Character of Amanda

Boozing rich lady who lives in the mall, she has no sense of responsibility or of the rules of the regular world. Yet she is intuitive. So when Penny and Mara show up, she has no qualms about inviting them to her table at a restaurant to eat with her, no questions asked—then, later, when she finds Penny by herself, she takes her into her apartment, blowing off what suspicions she does have about Penny’s situation.

Amanda turns the tide for Penny’s belief about whether parents will ever want her. Her small act of providing the creature comforts and company, and caring for her in her own way make the difference for Penny.

6. MAJOR TURNING POINT: They get caught in the mall. What happens to them when they go back to the boarding house? (Turns out that Mara’s prospective adoption began months ago, and it is looking like she will be adopted. What does this mean for lonely Penny?)

7. EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: PENNY. When she gets taken in by Amanda, she now has to make a choice between now being secure with a place to live (and a ritzy one, at that) and an adult that she actually likes, or going back to find Mara.

8. MAJOR TWIST: Because of the fact that there is a residential section in the mall, Penny & Mara notice that they aren’t especially attracting any attention as two 8-year-olds on their own. They are free!

9. Survival adventure in the world’s biggest shopping mall.

10. Penny & Mara’s contrast and relationship:

Contrast: All Penny wants is to be free from the boarding house and live her own life. All Mara wants is a family who loves her. In their shared adventure, they discover that all they need is their friendship.

Relationship: Penny is the
domineering one and in the early part of the movie condescends to Mara. Mara is
meeker and relies on Penny for their basic survival. Before the end of Act 2,
they are equals, and Penny respects Mara.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Erik Wooten.

[Erik Wooten]

“Erik meets Producer and Manager”

What I learned doing this assignment… Obviously this helps to clarify in my own mind the difference between strictly the creative aspect of my writing and the business side. I feel comfortable getting acquainted with the business side and am learning that it requires a shift in thinking and strategy from “creative writing mode”, which I am comfortable with and even see it as fun. Answering the question as it regards a producer seemed a little forced for me, like an exercise in trying to come up with what I think the producer will want to hear, with the exception of my first point.

Here is my “first-draft” version:

How do I present my projects or self to a manager?

:

–As a writer who excels in two select, related genres–the family comedy (or family comedy-drama) and the holiday film, predominantly Christmas. Aim is to be the next go-to writer in these two related genres.

(–At the same time, I have a passion for one additional genre (the contained character drama), which means that my specialties are split among two distinct worlds, and I believe this creates the ability to multiply my projects.)

–Who understands the different markets for these genres and able to determine which particular project would best fit a certain market.

To a producer

:

–I write with a lot of heart. My scenes are moving and touching. And the ones with the most heart flow with a rhythm. My scenes stay with you!

–I respect above all that my job is to write the script the way the way that the producer needs it and am perfectly willing to make any changes needed.

–Genre specialist.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Marketable Components

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned from this assignment… My best marketing components are UNIQUE and ULTIMATE (and possibly also A FIRST). Going through this process was very beneficial, it allows you to think from a marketing perspective, and the brainstorming exercise produced some good results. I would highly recommend it. Also, I was able to narrow in on key phrases that I think would be successful and which were not in the forefront of my mind before doing this assignment.

LOGLINE/CONCEPT: Two mismatched orphans escape from their boarding house during a fire and move into the world’s biggest shopping mall, where they decide to survive on their own and find parents, but realize that they only need each other, then face losing each other forever when back at the boarding house one of them will be adopted.

(A) UNIQUE

(F) ULTIMATE

More with the most potential:

GREAT TITLE

WIDE AUDIENCE APPEAL ?

A FIRST

(SIMILAR TO A BOX-OFFICE SUCCESS) ?

UNIQUE.

How fulfills ULTIMATE:

World’s biggest mall

How to highlight :

Emphasizing biggest in the world and that it is a whole world of its own, like a city inside a mall. This should imply the conflict and the nature of the characters’ journey in their environment.

BRAINSTORMS:

UNIQUE

: Orphan kids shopping for parents–in an actual shopping mall and taking up residence there. / “This is a movie for kids about kids taking charge of their own destiny in a shopping mall.”

Orphan kids as castaways in the world’s biggest shopping mall. (This implies learning how to survive and making their own destiny.)

ULTIMATE

: “This is the world’s biggest shopping mall. It is like a small city within a mall, complete with space-age glass tube elevators, a trolley system, and luxury residential apartments. Imagine what dangers and challenges lie in wait for two sheltered but resourceful orphan kids in that environment.”

WIDE AUDIENCE APPEAL ?

: (Iffy–Ages 6-10, possibly a little older due to the balance of the adult characters, plus all parents under 45.)

However, it has a range of emotions, including being a tearjerker: humor, action, adventure, suspense, uplifting.

KIDS’ EMPOWERMENT!

A FIRST

: A kids’ survival adventure in the world’s biggest mall.

(SIMILAR TO A BOX-OFFICE SUCCESS) ?

: Iffy–somewhat of a mash of Annie and Home Alone in a mall.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Project and Market

1. GENRE: Family comedy-drama

TITLE: PENNY AND MARA MOVE TO THE MALL

CONCEPT: Two mismatched orphans escape their boarding house during a fire and move into the world’s biggest shopping mall where they try to survive on their own and find parents but realize that they only need each other, then face losing each other forever when back at the boarding house one of them will be adopted.

2. Most attractive is the adventure element in a familiar but elevated environment, and the two lead characters, who are young orphan kids who make decisions for themselves and find their self-worth, confidence, and a love for each other in the midst of a tough adventure situation.

3. I think the first target will be producers, because I have a hunch that the story and pitch will be more attractive to a producer in the genre than to a manager or agent. I feel that if I can get the pitch perfect (pitch-perfect), it will be more on-target with what a producer in this genre is looking for than with a manager.

4. What I learned from this assignment… Focusing in on what makes the story attractive really clarifies what my objective should be in marketing, and is also helping me to definitively narrow down what should be in the pitch. Understanding what makes the story attractive in the genre and then translating that into the pitch I think is the most important thing here.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik Loves Character Depth!

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… The depth tools are trickier than they seem on the surface. After several sittings working with this assignment, I finally had a breakthrough, which came from intertwining depth tools 1 and 3, character storyline and triggers-reactions. The result was something a little more fundamental than finding specific new triggers or reactions or elevating storylines — I realized I needed to change the character’s personality a bit. This will naturally affect reactions to the triggers. From here, it might be a layered process, where I first need to see how the new personality will affect the current triggers-reactions and storylines and then see how much, or whether, I need to brainstorm brand new elements of the storyline or new triggers.

Changes made:

–Changed the triangle character’s personality to make it a little lighter, more fun-loving and irreverent.

–Changed reactions accordingly in four of the storylines.

–Brainstormed an intriguing possibility for what the lead character might be hiding from us but still undecided as to whether to use it.

–Found a new element as to what the triangle character is hiding from us, and adjusted the writing to reflect this in her reactions to triggers.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik Has Solved Character Problems!

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… It is best to assume that improvements can be made, but it is just as important to be confident in your judgement when you believe that some areas are great as they are. Some are obvious, such as whether lead characters are present in at least 90% of scenes, but most others require a lot more thought and creative problem-solving, such as whether the journey is strong enough.

Areas I improved: Character introductions and Protagonist journey

I can’t quite tell if we are supposed to post the beat sheet again. I am posting just the beats that I improved for the character problems. Made a couple other small changes, but they don’t really show explicitly in the beat sheet. Also I made changes for character journeys in Act 4 in the previous lesson–go figure.

1. INT. ORPHANAGE – ARTS & CRAFTS ROOM – DAY

BEGINNING: A bunch of orphans engage in drawing their idea of what kind of a house they would want to live in. Always-eating orphan PENNY’s, 8, drawing is great and advanced (and foreshadows Amanda’s place) but she becomes bored. Orphans MARA and JESS seem to be buddies. They stare at Penny, the “different one”.

MIDDLE: HEADMISTRESS DAPHNE surveys them and criticizes Penny for drawing something too fantastical or “impertinent”. Penny contradicts her.

END: They finish up, Penny scurries off to the kitchen looking for the chef. Daphne calls out for Penny. Catches up with her and scolds her for always having to find her / her “hiding” all the time.

4. EXT. ORPHANAGE / CITY ALLEY – CONTINUOUS

…She hits the back alley… and comes face to face with orphan MARA, who smiles big at Penny, then seems to go into a quiet surveying mode. They turn down a crossing alley—and see some scruffy-looking menacing-looking man blocking their way, seeming to come for them. Their way is blocked in the other direction by construction….

8. INT. MALL

…They make their first tentative steps, navigating a sea of people. Mara protests that they need to go back but is fascinated rather than scared. Penny leads Mara to believe that they are just in the mall until the “dangerous man” from the street is gone.

52. INT. SUBTERRANEAN COMPLEX – INTERCUTTING WITH AMANDA’S APARTMENT SCENES.

BEGINNING: The kids question Mara as to why she is there.

MIDDLE: The kids are moving on but one agrees to stay down there with Mara for the night. Mara feels more self-assured with Amy’s company.

END: Amy tells Mara how easy it is for her to go back into the mall and get help. Mara acknowledges that they decided not to do that. Mara goes to sleep with a blanket on the tatty couch.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Structure Solutions!

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… The self-evaluation is crucial, and it is awesome to have it laid out in this program. Doing this particular exercise, I learned that it pays to be patient when applying the solutions and not worry about solving everything that might be wrong in one (or two) sitting, but instead to focus on the most important (those whose solutions require more thought) first and not rush it. This allows the creativity to flow better.

Changes:

–Opening scene–gave it a better hook and made it give a more intriguing glimpse into one of the two lead characters.

–Added in some scenes that missed the outline, which weren’t accounted for in original outline but which added more value (and were not tangents or a different direction), and I think were needed.

–Revised most of Act 4, based mostly on the feedback we got in Module 4, to better bring out the story layers.

(There is some red text that just appeared, sprinkled in places–I don’t know why it shows up, because it is not part of my actual document. Just ignore it.)

1. INT. ORPHANAGE – ARTS & CRAFTS ROOM – DAY

BEGINNING: A bunch of orphans engage in drawing their idea of what kind of a house they would want to live in. Always-eating orphan PENNY’s, 8, drawing looks great and is advanced (and foreshadows Amanda’s place) but she becomes bored. Orphans MARA and JESS seem to be buddies. They stare at Penny, the “different one”.

MIDDLE: Headmistress DAPHNE surveys them and criticizes Penny for drawing something too fantastical or “impertinent”, that’s not the way most families live.

END: They finish up, Penny scurries off to the kitchen looking for the chef. Daphne calls out for Penny. Catches up with her and scolds her for always having to find her / her “hiding” all the time.

2. INT. ORPHANAGE – HALL / PREP KITCHEN – DAY

The orphans file out to move outside, and Penny diverts course and sneaks off the other direction. Enters the kitchen, searching for the cook. Accidentally starts a fire, oblivious to it!

3. INT. ORPHANAGE – HALLWAYS

Sneaking back, Penny goes to the window to scope out Daphne… then sees smoke coming from the kitchen. Heads for front, can’t get out, runs back, climbs out a window….

4. EXT. ORPHANAGE / CITY ALLEY – CONTINUOUS

…She hits the back alley… and comes face to face with orphan MARA. They turn down a crossing alley to get to the orphanage yard—and see some scruffy-looking menacing-looking man blocking their way, seeming to come for them. Their way is blocked in the other direction by construction….

5. EXT. ORPHANAGE / CITY ALLEY – CONTINUOUS

Penny looks down the rear side of the orphanage, then in their last option where she can see out the short alley the huge, looming shopping mall down the street. She grabs Mara’s hand, and they take off running in the direction of the mall, Mara protesting that they need to go back the other way.

6. EXT. ORPHANAGE

Kids and staff start to file out to the front of the burning building.

7. EXT. /INT. MALL

The girls enter. A small city of a mall, a world of its own…! Both take in a deep gulp of air.

ACT 2

8. INT. MALL

…They make their first tentative steps, navigating a sea of people. Mara, scared, protests that they need to go back. Penny leads Mara to believe that they are just in the mall until the “dangerous man” from the street is gone.

9. EXT. CITY STREET / ORPHANAGE

Fire trucks arrive. HEADMISTRESS DAPHNE confirms a count of all the orphans—all except Penny & Mara!

10. INT. MALL

Penny and Mara spot a trolley cruising by, part of a whole transport system. The girls hop on….

11. INT. MALL

…Passing a boutique store on the way to the candy store, employee SARAH sees Penny and Mara, looking out of their element and gape-eyed. Sarah mentions to her co-worker something about seeing her parents, and dreading it.

12. INT. ORPHANAGE – SAME

BEGINNING: The fire has been put out. Firefighters confirm no one has been hurt.

MIDDLE: But Penny and Mara are missing.

END: Chief firefighter offers that Penny and Mara are probably hiding somewhere near the property and that a search has been initiated.

13. INT. MALL – TROLLEY / CANDY STORE

Penny & Mara jump off at a huge candy store, and Penny flashes some cash at Mara. Surrounded by the largest candy store anyone has ever seen, they stuff their faces with chocolates and candy—much of which is taken “gratis”! Later… they hold their bellies in sugar-overload agony. A worker asks them don’t they have folks around.

14. INT. MALL

Drifting in the anonymous mass (due to their sugar shock), Penny & Mara don’t know what to do next and start to feel nervous about being caught. It dawns on one of them that people are not overly curious about them. They go to one of the hundreds of directory signs and try to figure out what is where and where the trolley system goes.

16. INT. SARAH’S PARENTS HOUSE – DAY/NIGHT

Sarah meets with her parents, who indicate that they will not yield on their condition that Sarah has to have two kids in order to receive her trust fund.

17. INT. (SARAH & FIANCE FIRST CONVERSATION.) Withholds from him the
details of her meeting with her parents, while the fiancé also brings up the
topic of them starting a family.

18. INT. ORPHANAGE – DAY

Head Mistress Daphne gets the latest report from the searchers (police?) that the girls have not been found. Breaks down and gets emotional. Searchers assure her that they will find the girls, then one suggests that they probably moved down the street and took shelter somewhere. END: Daphne holds chef/cook DANNY accountable for the fire and fires him.

19. INT. MALL – FOOD COURT – NIGHT

Penny & Mara get their first dinner, many curious eyes on them.

20. INT. MALL – LIQUOR STORE – NIGHT

AMANDA buys some hard liquor and wine. Clerk insinuates Amanda makes purchases here a lot.<s></s>

21. INT. OUTSIDE LIQUOR STORE

Penny and Mara watch Amanda walking out. Amanda smiles at the girls affectionately and makes her way on. Penny marvels at her, thinking there’s a parental candidate.

23. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

Penny and Mara tentatively follow Amanda and then hear the mall PA announcement that it will be closing in 30 minutes and freak out. Mara puts her foot down with Penny saying they are going back to the orphanage, but Penny refuses and asserts herself over Mara, saying somebody needs to take charge, and she does not intend to go back to the orphanage!

24. INT ELEVATOR – CONTINUOUS

On the elevator to follow Amanda, Mara looks down and sees someone standing next to a mall security officer and pointing up at them—or seeming to. The girls see Amanda get off the elevator on a high level. Mara watches the security officer waiting for the elevator and on his radio.

25. INT. MALL – UPPER LEVEL – LUXURY APARTMENTS SECTION

Penny and Mara get off on the same level Amanda did, see her disappear around a corner, follow, come upon double doors securely locked. See the elevator coming up with the security officer in it, run down another corridor, and see another mall security coming their direction! Nowhere left to go, they cower against the big double doors… the officer breezes right past them—just corralling a lost dog!

26. INT. BACK ON A LOWER LEVEL – HOME FURNISHINGS STORE

The girls hide inside a home furnishings store. It goes dark at closing time, the staff leave, and Penny and Mara are safely inside. A surveillance camera is perched in a corner.

27. INT. HOME FURNISHING STORE

They let loose and run around the place like crazy, jumping on the beds, food fight with popcorn, etc. Later, they get into separate, luxurious beds, until eventually Mara crawls into bed with Penny. They fall off to sleep, exhausted by the day.

28. INT. HOME FURNISHINGS STORE – DAY

Next morning, the girls race to get out of the store on time and unseen. Do their best to make the beds but leave little telltale signs of their presence.

INT. HOME FURNISHINGS STORE – LATER

An employee checks the camera footage from the night and discovers that the system was off the whole night!

27. INT. MALL – DAY

The mall is practically empty except for employees opening the shops. Penny and Mara slink around and find somewhere to hide until the place starts filling up. With the luxury apartments section distantly in view, Penny shares her revelation with Mara that if people live here, they can just tell prying adults that they live here!

29. INT. MALL – BOUTIQUE STORE – DAY

Sarah opens up her store, at which moment the trolley system springs to operation….

30. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

…While across the vast mall corridor from Sarah’s store, Penny & Mara run for the trolley and jump on it.

31. INT. MALL – BOUTIQUE STORE – CONTINUOUS

Sarah spots the girls on the trolley and watches them jump off [ by the food court ]—notices that they are in the same clothes as the day before. She tells her co-worker that she is going to go grab some coffee, meaning to follow Penny & Mara.

32. INT. [ FOOD COURT ]

Sarah spies Penny & Mara from across the way. The mall has started to swell to its regular high-density traffic, and when she looks up she has lost the girls. Realizes she has to go back to her store.

33. BOUTIQUE STORE

Sarah asks her co-workers if they have noticed two girls in scruffy-looking clothes, musing out loud that she thinks these girls might be by themselves. No, but you can’t always tell the outside kids apart from the ones that live here. Kids are always getting lost in this place if they let go of their mom’s hand for a second. Sarah looks up, sees two girls about the same age and height, together by themselves—That’s them! Looks closer… goes out into the mall, approaching… no, not Penny and Mara.

34. INT. KIDS’ CLOTHING STORE

Penny and Mara get clothes for themselves manhandle the clothes and a clerk tells them they have to pay for the clothes. Asks where are your parents. Penny flashes her cash, saying they gave me this money.

35. INT. WOMEN’S RESTROOM

The girls change into their new clothes in the stalls. Penny leaves behind her old clothes—with the money purse in the dress pocket.

36. INT. MALL

Sarah and the girls meet. Seeing them in different clothes now, Sarah is thrown off-guard, not sure of her suspicion anymore, but surreptitiously questions the girls. Penny believes that Sarah is somehow a threat to them and engineers their leaving the scene.

#. INT. MALL / TOY STORE BLUE

BEGINNING: Penny and Mara get directions from one of the information desks and notice across the way two official-looking men, seeming to be on some urgent non-mall business (investigators).

MIDDLE: Penny and Mara find a toy store. Gavin is in there, looking at baby things.

END: Penny steals a stuffed animal.

#. INT. MALL – INTERIOR HALLWAY NETWORK

BEGINNING: Penny and Mara exit through a back door in the toy store and end up in the interior back halls.

MIDDLE: Penny asks Mara to navigate them through and find the way out. It is confusing—everything so generic.

END: They make their way out, back into the mall.

37. INT. SARAH’S PLACE – NIGHT

Sarah tells her Fiancé about Penny & Mara, expressing her misgivings that she should report them but that she can’t be sure that they don’t live in the mall’s residential section. END: Gavin surprises Sarah with a custom-model of a baby crib (or something else). It upsets Sarah.

38. INT. MALL – FINE RESTAURANT – NIGHT

They can’t get past the hostess/maître d’ at an upscale restaurant, but then get in with Amanda’s help, who acts as the girls’ aunt, and they all get a table. Comic misadventures eating!

39. INT. MALL – CORRIDOR TO LUXURY APARTMENTS SECTION

They trail Amanda and after the four of them pass through the entrance doors, Amanda has to part ways, because she has “company” tonight (her man friend). Why don’t you come back another time? (Aren’t your parents wondering where you are?) But now safely within the apartments section, they discover a large lounge area. Go in and spend the night.

40. INT. MALL – DAY

Getting breakfast the next morning, the phone is cancelled for the food credit system, (which is the catalyst for Mara insisting they tell Sarah what is going on.)

41. EXT. PARK – DAY

Sarah reveals to her fiancé how her parents are manipulating her and that because of that she is not going to have children. He walks away—they break up. Sarah daydreams about Penny and Mara right after, calls into work saying she can’t make it back (but can work from home?).

42. INT. MALL – DAY

Tired and worried about their situation, Mara insists that they find Sarah—Penny says no. They get in an argument about Sarah, Penny deciding that Sarah is too “dangerous” for their freedom. Mara defies Penny and runs over to Sarah’s store. Staying put, when Penny finally follows after Mara, she has lost her!

43. INT. MALL – BOUTIQUE

Mara discovers that Sarah is not there (and that she doesn’t work at the mall anymore). Flounders around before running away, searching for Penny.

ACT 3

44. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

(Mara’s journey out of the mall.)

45. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

Panicky, Penny heads for Sarah’s store but stops to scope it out first—and sees mall security there, talking to the employees! Takes off.

48. EXT. MALL – CITY STREET

Mara makes it out, onto the jarring reality of the city street, she looks in both directions, orienting herself, gauging where the orphanage is from here. She turns a corner or two… a moment of soul-searching—does she really want to go back? Or find Penny?…

49. UPPER LEVEL / LIQUOR STORE

Knowing she has lost Mara, Penny seeks out Amanda. Eventually Amanda comes to buy her booze, and Penny gloms onto her.

50. EXT./INT. MALL – DAY

Mara sees a cat slink into the mall from the street. Following it back in, she ends up in the underground parking garage. Follows the cat into a dark area off of the parking garage…

51. INT. SUBTERRANEAN COMPLEX

…And ends up in a vast underground area (is it a sewer system?). She stumbles upon a group of [ teenage runaways ] who have ‘taken residence’ here and blends in with them.

#. INT. SUBTERRANEAN COMPLEX – INTERCUTTING WITH AMANDA’S APARTMENT SCENES.

BEGINNING: The kids question Mara as to why she is there.

MIDDLE: The kids are moving on but one agrees to stay down there with Mara for the night.

END: Amy tells Mara how easy it is for her to go back into the mall and get help. Mara acknowledges that they “decided” not to do that. MARA MEETS A GHOST ??

53. INT. LUXURY APARTMENTS SECTION – AMANDA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

(Penny’s first night staying at Amanda’s.) Amanda brings Penny into her place. Very luxurious, anything a kid could want in a home. Penny attacks the refrigerator, and Amanda wonders where Penny lives, why she’s always hanging around. END: Amanda gives Penny a nighshirt and a bed to sleep in.

54. INT. MALL – NEXT DAY

Mara makes her way out of the subterranean area and back into the mall….

55. INT. MALL – NEXT DAY

Penny is now done up in clothes, hairstyle, and even make-up courtesy of Amanda. Amanda totes Penny around as her errand-running companion.

#. INT. MALL – BOUTIQUE STORE / COURTYARD – AT FOUNTAIN

Sarah shows up and is surprised by Gavin. They leave together. Gavin offers to mend the relationship, but Sarah is ambivalent or confused, alludes to her parents having an influence on her that she can’t seem to shake. Ends the conversation on an inconclusive note as to the state of their relationship.

#. INT. MALL

BEGINNING: Mara heads for Amanda’s but turns back when she sees the doorman at the entrance.

MIDDLE: Out in the open, searching for Penny, she almost runs into Sarah, who barely misses her.

END: She gets lunch, while the man lingers around the food court but doesn’t see Mara.

#. INT. LUXURY APARTMENTS / LOUNGE AREA – NIGHT

BEGINNING: Mara sneaks into the apartments, trailing behind someone as the person walks in.

MIDDLE: She goes to Amanda’s door but there is no answer.

END: She goes into the lounge, goes to sleep on a couch, sad and wishing she and Penny could be back together.

56. INT. AMANDA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

(Penny’s last night at Amanda’s.) Amanda makes a casual reference, and Penny asks her if she is her kid now. A man comes over. Later Penny gets out of bed to get some cookies and sneaks peeks at Amanda and her man friend in love-making ventures, snickering and bug-eyed.

57. INT. AMANDA’S PLACE – DAY

BEGINNING: Penny dresses, fixes her hair, and grabs some food from the cabinets and throws it into her sack.

MIDDLE: Goes into Amanda’s purse and takes out some cash from it… but hesitates and puts the cash back—she can’t bring herself to take it.

END: She writes Amanda a note, thanking her, etc, but also explaining why she is not meant to be the mother figure for her (and that she has come to have a sense of her own identity in the world).

58. INT. MALL – DAY

BEGINNING: Penny hides out on the trolley waiting for the mall to open. At the same time, Mara wanders the mall looking for Penny. Goes to candy store.

MIDDLE: With Penny on the trolley, a dress-up character boards the trolley while a big banner goes up on it advertising free admission to the amusement park for kids under 10. Penny notices [ THE MAN ] and jumps off the trolley,

END: The girls reunite! (Mara mentions Penny’s new appearance.) Make a pact that from now on they will always stay together, and that they won’t be adopted without them being together.

59. INT. <s>SARAH’S PLACE </s>RESTAURANT MOVE.

Sarah’s now-off-fiancé comes back and promises her that he wants what she wants (a family). Sarah says but there’s something more important first, before we do it “the natural way”—I want to adopt.

60. INT. MALL

Penny & Mara’s last hurrah in the mall (The amusement park!). Finally they are caught!

ACT 4

61. INT. ORPHANAGE – DAY

Daphne separates Penny and Mara as a punishment. Mara buddies up with JESS, another orphan. Penny discovers that the Cook is no longer there. Protests that the fire was not his fault.

62. INT. ORPHANAGE – MAIN OFFICE

<s>A couple comes into the orphanage, meets with Daphne. They express a desire to adopt a girl. (Maybe they say they would even like two.) Their description of their desired kid(s) practically describes Mara and Penny completely. Daphne stiffens when the description conjures up Penny.</s>

BEGINNING: Daphne instructs Mara that she is not to tell the couple prospectively adopting her about her mall escapade, telling her that it will put her in a negative light as a disobedient girl. Mara reluctantly agrees.

MIDDLE: The couple set to adopt Mara comes in. <s>Daphne withholds the story about Mara and Penny having disappeared and been in the mall the last three days.</s> A day visit is arranged.

END: Penny listens from the other side of the door.

64. INT. ORPHANAGE

BEGINNING: Sarah and Gavin arrive and meet with Daphne, trying to initiate adoption for Penny and Mara. (She mentions that she saw them in the mall and knows the investigator who found them.)

MIDDLE: Sarah wavers on the prospect of adopting just one of them. Daphne, in an indirect way, tries to dissuade Sarah from adopting Penny (Penny is older and needs a family that can accommodate this kind of child, etc, etc).

END: Sarah asks what are the chances that the prospective parents can be changed. Daphne paints an almost impossible picture of the chances (She has been waiting for close to a year now, etc, etc.).

65. INT. ORPHANAGE / EXT. PARKING LOT

Sarah and fiancé leave but dally in the parking lot….

66. INT. ORPHANAGE

BEGINNING: Daphne’s secretary confronts Daphne, saying it is not right that Penny and Mara are kept apart. And that Penny surely would see Sarah and Gavin as the perfect parents.

MIDDLE: Daphne reveals that she doesn’t—hasn’t—think that anyone is good enough to adopt Penny [ and that, whether anyone realizes it or not, for now at least, Penny is better off at the orphanage until the perfect parents come along ].

END: Daphne’s secretary points out that if she really wanted what was best for the children, she would stop trying to keep Penny here.

68. INT. ORPHANAGE – MAIN OFFICE

Daphne is ready to proceed with the next stage of adoption. The couple see that Mara is hesitant. Mara turns and sees Penny out in the hall. Mara goes out to meet Penny.

69. INT. ORPHANAGE –MAIN HALL / MAIN OFFICE

Penny reminds Mara of their pact. They grab each other and hold on tight. Daphne seems to be ready to let go of Penny.

70. INT. ORPHANAGE–MAIN HALL / MAIN OFFICE

Penny is led out. Mara won’t go along with being adopted. The couple are a little shocked but express understnading.

71. INT. ORPHANAGE – BACK HALL BY ROOMS / MAIN HALL

Penny spots Sarah and Fiancé out the window, waves frantically at them. Sarah and Gavin come back in. Sarah indicates to Penny that Mara has found another family but that she would love to adopt her. Penny says, no, we made a promise together, talk her out of it.

71. INT. ORPHANAGE

BEGINNING: Penny busts into the room, lays out her case in front of Daphne and Mara’s prospective parents.

MIDDLE: The prospective parents let Penny know that Mara has had a change of heart.

END: Mara is warned of what it means to refuse the adoption, etc….

72. INT. ORPHANAGE–MAIN HALL / MAIN OFFICE

LEAVING THIS OPEN UNTIL THE WRITING.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik continues Act 4

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… The idea of finishing as a skill is so important and is one that writers should not lose sight of. This high-speed first draft has really reinforced that for me. First-draft writing also makes the prospect of finishing easily attainable.

The writing is going well and you can swear by the high-speed writing rules. It increases confidence even when the quality is 30%, and as I said before, because the writing can just flow, the quality feels better than 30%.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik Wooten–Continuing Act 3

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment…

With each assignment, my comfort-zone writing habits are shrinking further into the background.

The challenge of high-speed writing every day is becoming fun, and though I still have to use discipline at times and some sessions go quicker than others, ALL of them are better than before I started using these rules.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik Completed Act 2

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… A thirty-percent quality is freeing and actually feels better than 30% because the creativity just flows.

Things are still going well sticking to the high-speed writing rules! The trick is to understand that not every element of the story you had in mind when doing the outline is going to come out during high-speed writing, so if you just allow the high-speed writing to flow, you can be comfortable knowing that those elements will just be added later, and the overall script is going to be better on top of that because of the freedom of the fast writing.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik Wooten began Act 2.

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… The timer is a great tool, and it does help the creativity to come out, even though the impression is that it is pressure. I quickly learned that I can choose to see the timer not as something that is putting the pressure on but something that is helping me produce writing in a short amount of time.

This high-speed writing tool works very well. You quickly come to embrace it when you realize that it helps you create rather bringing pressure to create. I also see the timer as something that allows me to add little blocks of time on top of my regular blocks of time set aside for writing.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Next Act 1 Scenes

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… I keep learning with each time sitting down to write this first draft that high-speed writing is phenomenal for generating creativity. For me the important trick is to take down the notes quickly for those areas of the story that come to me while writing but which I cannot stop to write because that would slow down the writing. Usually though, I don’t even have to take down the notes right then, I can wait until I am done with the writing, even if that is an hour away. This seems to be a creative phenomenon that is particular to high-speed writing!

These high-speed writing rules are still going great! A few times in the last session I slowed down for the first time since starting but realized that it just takes practice and discipline to keep it up. The benefits of high-speed writing, for me, are much better than perfection writing. It has become apparent that high-speed writing is far better for creativity than the careful, striving-for-great-writing-in the-first-draft writing.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s High Speed Writing Rules

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… I learned a very valuable lesson: that once you force yourself to write at a high speed, first it becomes an act of faith, and then, once you commit to the physical act of writing at a high speed (physically resisting the urge to slow down to try to make it better), your faith that your creativity will flow just as well as or even better than when you write slow will be paid off!

The high-speed writing rules are working well for me, I think particularly because I am making myself look at them as an act of faith. I wrote a scene that was a lot of fun in a short time and was amazed to discover that my creativity flowed completely unhindered.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s First (actually second) Scene

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a
screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual
movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter,
develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly
original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to
write.

What I learned doing this assignment… It feels pretty liberating to write at a high speed, knowing that perfection ( or something close to perfection) is not the goal here! In order to keep up the high speed and not be distracted by perfection thinking, it requires a lot of mental and physical discipline! Module 4 was great for building an outline, let me tell you!

Well it was pretty thrilling to finally start writing this thing, and going only from the outline onto the page felt good, a sort of sense of assuredness. It clearly brought out to the open how the detailed and careful work put into the outline pays off once the writing begins. I had to use some discipline in order to maintain speed and not give in to the temptation to slow down to re-think if something could be written better. This process worked well for me, and I feel pretty comfortable with it.

[Erik Wooten]

Anyone care to exchange outlines with me? I am writing the one about the two orphans hiding out in the world’s biggest shopping mall, a family comedy-drama, so if you like this genre, maybe you’d want to exchange.

Any takers? Thanks!

-Erik

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Scene Requirements

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter, which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… I learned how awesome this process is for bringing out what scenes really need. I found this to be highly beneficial.

(INCOMPLETE BUT I HAD TO POST ALREADY…)

1. INT. ORPHANAGE – PREP KITCHEN – DAY

Always-eating orphan PENNY, 8, pops her head in looking for her buddy chef to slip her some snacks. He is not around, so Penny snoops around—and accidentally starts a fire!

Scene arc: From quiet, routine day to a fire in the orphanage.

Essence: Penny accidentally starting the fire that will cause her to climb out a window.

Conflict: Everyone in the orphanage confronted with a dangerous environment.

Subtext: The cause for Penny’s escape.

Hope/fear: Hope that she will be safe. Fear that everyone in the orphanage is in danger.

2. INT. ORPHANAGE – HALLWAYS

Sneaking back, Penny seems to know the ins and outs of the place. Then sees smoke. She follows it to the kitchen and realizes with horror that she must have started the fire.

Same as above.

3. INT. ORPHANAGE – HALLWAYS

The path back to her room becomes choked with smoke, and Penny flees in panic. She spots a window, gets it open, and climbs out.

Same.

4. EXT. ORPHANAGE / CITY ALLEY – CONTINUOUS

She hits the street, and comes face to face with orphan MARA, 7.

Scene arc: From Penny braving things alone to finding Mara in the same place that she ended up.

Essence: Penny and Mara meet as “equals”.

Conflict: Penny and Mara in a hostile environment.

Subtext: What are the girls going to do?

Hope/fear:

4. EXT. ORPHANAGE / CITY ALLEY – CONTINUOUS

They both run around to the front of the building, don’t see anybody from the orphanage—then, some menacing-looking man shows up in the alley, and girls run down the street!

Scene arc: Penny and Mara at the orphanage (more or less) to on the loose.

Essence: Penny and Mara have escaped the orphanage.

Conflict: Penny and Mara not only in a uncertain environment but moving farther away from the orphanage.

Subtext: Eight-year-old orphans fending for themselves.

Hope/fear: Hope that the girls will be safe. Fear that they won’t be.

5. EXT. ORPHANAGE

Kids and staff start to file out of the burning building, congregate on the street, a few hundred feet away.

6. EXT. CITY STREET – CONTINUOUS

Penny follows Mara’s eyes to the huge, looming shopping mall down the street —biggest in the country. She grabs Mara’s hand, and they take off running down the street toward the mall.

Scene arc: From outside the orphanage to far away from it—two kids on their own.

Essence: Penny leading Mara, and herself, away from the orphanage and to… the largest shopping mall in the country (maybe the world).

Conflict: Two young kids braving the physical environment.

Subtext: Penny going for it, Mara scared—but exhilarated.

Hope/fear: Hope they are doing the right thing. Fear that they are in over their heads.

7. EXT. /INT. MALL

The girls enter. A small city of a mall, a world of its own…!

Scene arc: On the street to inside the mega-mall.

Essence: Penny and Mara have fled the orphanage and are now in the mall where they are going to have to make a decision.

Conflict: Mara scared with Penny as the one responsible for her predicament, plus two young kids against the larger environment.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Fear that they will be somehow corralled by some grown-ups, or worse. Hope that they can make it in this environment.

8. INT. MALL

…They make their first tentative steps, navigating a sea of people. Mara, scared, protests that they need to go back. Penny leads Mara to believe that they are just in the mall until the “dangerous man” from the street is gone.

Scene arc: From castaways in an overwhelming environment to an attempt by Penny to be brave and take some kind of control.

Essence: Penny tries and mostly succeeds to get control of her fear, while she has to keep Mara’s own fear somehow under control.

Conflict: Two kids against the larger environment. Inner conflict within Penny over what to do.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope that they go back to the orphanage. Fear that maybe now there is no turning back, or that the girls will be somehow corralled by some grownups or worse.

#. EXT. CITY STREET / ORPHANAGE

Fire trucks arrive.

9. INT. MALL

Penny and Mara spot a trolley cruising by, part of a whole transport system. The girls hop on. Jump off at a huge candy store, and Penny flashes some cash at Mara.

Scene arc: From seeing some means of support opening up (trolley) to finding a source of joy to Mara realizing that Penny’s money might be some kind of lifeline.

Essence: The girls understand that they can get around and that they have some small measure of control.

Conflict: Going deeper into this world, still fighting fear.

Subtext: An empowering sense of understanding, revelation

Hope/fear: Hope that they are doing the right thing, that they can have fun. Fear that they are getting in too deep.

10. INT. MALL

…Passing a boutique store on the way to the candy store, employee SARAH eyes them, looking out of their element and gape-eyed. Sarah mentions to her co-worker something about seeing her parents, and dreading it.

Scene arc: From more or less anonymous to not.

Essence: Character of Sarah first seeing Penny and Mara and showing some negative feelings provoked by talking about her parents.

Conflict: Some inner conflict in Sarah having to do with her parents.

Subtext: Sarah has something unpleasant to deal with, having to do with her parents.

Hope/fear:

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – SAME

The fire has been put out. HEADMISTRESS DAPHNE confirms a count of all the orphans—all except Penny & Mara! Daphne holds chef/cook DANNY accountable for the fire and fires him.

Scene arc: The orphanage fire put out to the cook being “fired” to realizing that Penny and Mara missing!

Essence: Headmistress Daphne realizes with a sinking feeling that Penny and Mara are gone.

Conflict: Daphne holding the wrong person responsible for the fire and terrified about Penny and Mara’s fate.

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

#. INT. MALL – CANDY STORE

Penny & Mara are surrounded by the largest candy store anyone has ever seen! Later… they stuff their faces with chocolates and candy—much of which is taken “gratis”! Later… they hold their bellies in sugar-overload agony. A worker asks them don’t they have folks around.

Scene arc: From discovering a candy wonderland unknown to them to suffering the consequences to the first mall person pointing out the obvious about their situation.

Essence: Penny and Mara discovering a place of fun and happiness and feeling free for the first time.

Conflict:

Subtext: Penny and Mara taste freedom, no pun intended, with the sense of fear gone.

Hope/fear: Hope that they don’t get busted by adults.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – SAME

Firefighters confirm no one was hurt or killed in the fire. Head Mistress realizes that the girls must have gotten out. Calls police (or relevant party) to have a search put out for Penny and Mara.

Scene arc: No one hurt or killed to a search being called for Penny and Mara.

Essence: A search put out for Penny and Mara.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Will the audience hope that Penny and Mara are found—or fear for it!

#. INT. MALL

Penny realizes that they are going to have to get different clothes—and also act like they are not alone. They go to one of the hundreds of directory signs and try to figure out what is where and where the trolley system goes.

Scene arc: Firmly entrenched in the mall and still basically lost to beginning to take control of navigation.

Essence:

Conflict: Mara doesn’t like the idea of getting new clothes and acting like they are not alone—why??

Subtext: Seems they, or Penny, are planning to stay in the mall for a while.

Hope/fear:

#. INT. MALL – CLOTHING STORE

They go into a kids’ clothing store, manhandle the clothes and a clerk lets them know that they have to pay for the clothes. Asks where are your parents. Penny flashes her cash, saying they gave me this money.

Scene arc: From attempting to change things about their situation to another mall staff person wondering where the girls’ parents are.

Essence: They are exposed to prying and wondering adults, and Penny uses her first wiles against such an adult.

Conflict: The girls face prying and wondering about their situation.

Subtext: Penny using deceit.

Hope/fear: Hope that the girls can make it through without getting busted.

#. INT. SARAH’S PARENTS HOUSE – DAY/NIGHT

Sarah meets with her parents, who indicate that they will not yield on their condition that Sarah has to have two kids in order to receive her trust fund.

Scene arc: Seemingly routine meeting with the parents to being confronted with a very disagreeable reality.

Essence: Sarah’s parents inform her that she will not receive her large trust fund until she gives birth to two children.

Conflict: Sarah’s own wishes for her life opposed by cold parents.

Subtext: Sarah’s anger and time for major decisions.

Hope/fear: Hope that this is not for real. Fear that it is.

#. INT. MALL – FOOD COURT

Penny & Mara get their first dinner, many curious eyes on them.

Scene arc: From seeking to scavenge to paying money for a meal to lots of people eying them.

Essence: The girls fully exposed to the wondering eyes of the adult world.

Conflict: Struggle to remain anonymous

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope that Penny and Mara can manage this first act of survival. Fear that they may be found out.

#. INT. MALL – LIQUOR STORE – NIGHT

AMANDA buys some hard liquor and wine. Clerk insinuates Amanda makes purchases here a lot.<s></s>

Scene arc: For Penny and Mara, a state of limbo to “discovering” a potential source of help, resources, or even a parent!

Essence: Amanda is a boozer, and Penny latches on to the idea of help from the adult world.

Conflict: What to do now?

Subtext: Penny and Mara have the idea of getting help inside the mall.

Hope/fear: Fear that in a (brief) state of limbo, Penny and Mara are going to fail or give in. Hope that maybe they have latched on to something with the ‘arrival’ of Amanda on the scene.

#. INT. OUTSIDE LIQUOR STORE

Penny and Mara watch Amanda walking out. Amanda smiles at the girls affectionately and makes her way on.

Scene arc: For Penny and Mara, a state of limbo to “discovering” a potential source of help, resources, or even a parent!

Essence: Amanda is a boozer, and Penny latches on to the idea of help from the adult world.

Conflict: What to do now?

Subtext: Penny and Mara have the idea of getting help inside the mall.

Hope/fear: Fear that in a (brief) state of limbo, Penny and Mara are going to fail or give in. Hope that maybe they have latched on to something with the ‘arrival’ of Amanda on the scene.

#. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

Penny and Mara tentatively follow Amanda and then hear the mall PA announcement that it will be closing in 30 minutes and freak out. Mara puts her foot down with Penny saying they are going back to the orphanage, but Penny refuses and asserts herself over Mara, saying somebody needs to take charge, and that she does not intend to go back to the orphanage!

Scene arc: From some kind of potential opening up to Penny revealing her intentions.

Essence: Penny reveals her intent regarding going back to the orphanage—in essence determining Mara’s fate too.

Conflict: Mara’s desire to go back to the orphanage quashed by Penny.

Subtext: Penny will be the one in charge on this “adventure”.

Hope/fear: Hope that the girls can decide to do what is best and safest for them. Fear that now that won’t be happening (as far as the audience is concerned)!

#. INT ELEVATOR – CONTINUOUS

Looking down through the all-glass elevator, Mara sees someone standing next to a mall security officer and pointing up at them. The girls see Amanda get off the elevator on a high level.

Scene arc: From limbo to uncertainty to danger.

Essence: The girls have basically been found out.

Conflict: The outside world (adult world) threatening to close in on Penny and Mara.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope that the girls won’t be caught—fear that they might be!

#. INT. MALL – UPPER LEVEL

Penny and Mara get off on the same level Amanda did, see disappear around a corner, then see the mall security officer waiting on the elevator. They run down the hall after Amanda’s trail and come upon double doors, which they can’t get open, flee another direction just in time to evade mall security officer.

Scene arc: From relative tranquility to perilous action.

Essence: The girls experience being on the run in this vast mall.

Conflict: The outside world (adult world) threatening to close in on Penny and Mara.

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

#. INT. BACK ON A LOWER LEVEL – HOME FURNISHINGS STORE

The girls hide inside a home furnishings store. It goes dark at closing time, the staff leave, and Penny and Mara go to bed in luxurious beds in the store.

Scene arc: From one form of danger to potentially another to secure with a place to sleep for the night.

Essence: The girls survive their first day and end it with beds to sleep in.

Conflict: Mara overcomes her inner conflict with fear and resolves her conflict with Penny.

Subtext: Mara starting to feel secure under Penny’s wing.

Hope/fear: Fear that now they will be caught in this store. Sure that they won’t be.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – NIGHT

Head Mistress Daphne gets the latest report from the searchers (police?) that the girls have not been found. Breaks down and gets emotional. Searchers assure her that they will find the girls, then one suggests that they probably moved down the street and took shelter somewhere.

Scene arc: From fear for her responsibility to a small assurance the girls will be found.

Essence: Daphne afraid of the consequences to herself (more so than to Penny & Mara), and an assurance that Penny and Mara will be found.

Conflict: Daphne’s inner conflict with fear and uncertainty over both her fate and Penny’s and Mara’s.

Subtext: Penny and Mara will be found at some point.

Hope/fear: Hope that Penny and Mara will eventually be safe and secure.

#. INT. HOME FURNISHING STORE

They let loose and run around the place like crazy, jumping on the beds, food fight with popcorn, etc. Later, they get into separate beds, until eventually Mara crawls into bed with Penny. They fall off to sleep, exhausted by the day.

Scene arc: Releasing the tension and worries of the day, being kids, to a safe place to sleep for the night.

Essence: The girls survive their first day and end it with beds to sleep in.

Conflict: Mara overcomes her inner conflict with fear and resolves her conflict with Penny.

Subtext: Mara starting to feel secure under Penny’s wing.

Hope/fear: Fear for what tomorrow holds for Penny and Mara?

#. INT. HOME FURNISHINGS STORE – DAY

Next morning, the girls struggle to get out of the store on time and unseen. Do their best to make the beds but leave little telltale signs of their presence.

Scene arc: From tranquility to on the move.

Essence: Penny and Mara facing the challenges of another day on their own.

Conflict: A new day on the run.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope that they can exit the store without being seen by people in the mall. Fear that they will be seen and that they have left clues about themselves.

#. INT. MALL – DAY

The mall is practically empty except for employees opening the shops. Penny and Mara slink around and find somewhere to hide until the place starts filling up, put their heads together to decide what they are going to do while the mall is so quiet.

Scene arc:

Essence: Penny and Mara have to learn how to move around undetected until the mall starts filling up.

Conflict: Exposed to the outer world.

Subtext: Strategic thinking and an increase of survival skills.

Hope/fear:

#. EXT. AREA AROUND THE ORPHANAGE / DOWNTOWN STREET – DAY

Search team / police comb the downtown area surrounding the mall. (Later, they enter the mall.)

#. INT. MALL – BOUTIQUE STORE – DAY

Sarah opens up her store, at which moment the trolley system springs to operation….

#. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

…While across the vast mall corridor from Sarah’s store, Penny & Mara run for the trolley and jump on it….

#. INT. MALL – BOUTIQUE STORE – CONTINUOUS

…Sarah spots the girls on the trolley and watches them jump off [ by the food court ]. She tells her co-worker that she is going to go grab some coffee, meaning to follow Penny & Mara.

Scene arc: Penny & Mara trying to evade prying eyes to Sarah watching them and going after them.

Essence: Sarah’s curiosity is caught by Penny and Mara, causing her to go after them.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

#. INT. [ FOOD COURT ]

Sarah spies Penny & Mara from across the way. The mall has started to swell to its regular high-density traffic, and when she looks up she has lost the girls. Realizes she has to go back to her store.

Scene arc: From Sarah getting close to approaching Penny and Mara to losing them among the crowd.

Essence: Sarah meaning to approach the girls then losing them.

Conflict: Being thwarted from approaching Penny and Mara.

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

#. BOUTIQUE STORE, OR SOMEWHERE ELSE

Sarah and the girls meet. Sarah wonders out loud at them if they are by themselves, covertly questioning.

Scene arc: From Penny and Mara managing to stay anonymous in the mall to a nice grown-up asking prying questions.

Essence: Penny and Mara meet Sarah.

Conflict: A potential threat to Penny’s and Mara’s freedom.

Subtext: A small sense of relief in Penny and Mara, and Sarah trying to get to the bottom of their situation.

Hope/fear: Hope that Sarah can somehow help Penny and Mara. Fear that this help might mean the girls being caught.

#. INT. SARAH’S PLACE – NIGHT

Sarah tells her Fiancé about Penny & Mara, expressing her misgivings and that she feels she should report them. Withholds from him the details of her meeting with her parents, while the fiancé also brings up the topic of them starting a family.

Scene arc: From unintentionally deceiving her fiancé to the reason for that deception being brought up by her fiancé (unknowing of course).

Essence: Knowing her fiancé has been talking about having children lately, Sarah can’t bring herself to tell him about her parents’ ultimatum.

Conflict: Sarah deceiving her fiancé.

Subtext: Withholding

Hope/fear:

#. INT. MALL

Sarah takes the girls clothes shopping. Later, she takes them aside and hints that she knows, or suspects, what is going on with them. On parting, she gives them each a bag with money and food.

Scene arc: From a fun, carefree day to the idea that it all will come to an end for Penny soon if she is not careful.

Essence: Sarah caring for Penny and Mara and letting them know that she knows.

Conflict: Sarah fears she is not doing the right thing (by having not reported Penny and Mara so far).

Subtext: Sarah knows what is going on with Penny and Mara. Penny a little worried about Sarah’s involvement.

Hope/fear: Hope that Sarah will somehow take care of Penny and Mara. Fear that something else will happen.

#. INT. MALL

On an upper level, Penny accidentally drops her smothered hot dog down onto someone’s head on the level below them! Then, she drops some more food on someone’s head—this time for fun. Mara joins in. Penny and Mara explore the upper levels of the mall.

#. INT. MALL

They explore the far reaches of the mall. They get in an argument about Sarah, Penny deciding that Sarah is too “dangerous” for them.

Scene arc: From finding their way to a decision that “they” won’t be seeking out Sarah anymore.

Essence: Penny dictates to Mara that they have to keep away from Sarah.

Conflict: Penny acting against Mara’s interest.

Subtext: Penny is in charge. Suspicion of Sarah.

Hope/fear: Hope that Penny and Mara are learning how to survive, or will gravitate to Sarah. Fear that Penny is harming their chances of getting out of the mall.

#. INT. MALL – FINE RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Penny and Mara get in with Amanda’s help, who acts as the girls’ aunt, and they all get a table. Comic misadventures eating!

Scene arc: From a spirit of adventure to help from an adult to carefree times.

Essence: Some rare carefree fun for Penny and Mara and an understanding of Amanda’s behavior.

Conflict: Amanda getting loose from drinking threatens Penny’s and Mara’s anonymity.

Subtext: Penny implicitly trusts Amanda. Both understanding that her drinking may not be good for them.

Hope/fear: Fear that Amanda may give up the girls (inadvertently). Hope that Penny and Mara can weasel their way out of it.

#. INT. MALL – DAY

Tired and worried about their situation, Mara insists that they find Sarah—Penny says no. Mara defies Penny and runs over to Sarah’s store. Staying put, when Penny finally follows after Mara, she has lost her!

Scene arc: From battle of wills to losing each other.

Essence: Penny and Mara get separated.

Conflict: Penny and Mara disagreeing with each other and separated as a result.

Subtext: Mara ready to go against Penny.

Hope/fear: Hope that Penny and Mara will go find Sarah. Fear that they are separated.

INT. MALL – BOUTIQUE

Mara discovers that Sarah is not there (and that she doesn’t work at the mall anymore). Flounders around before running away, searching for Penny.

Scene arc: From the prospect of meeting up with Sarah to totally on her own.

Essence: Mara loses Penny, and vice versa.

Conflict: Alone in the mall.

Subtext: Surprise and then fear setting in.

Hope/fear: Hope that Mara will get Sarah’s help. Fear that she has lost Penny.

#. INT. MALL – LATER

Sarah returns, looking for the girls but doesn’t find them.

#. INT. MALL

Mara realizes she has lost Penny and so decides to leave the mall and try to go back to the orphanage….

Scene arc:

Essence: Mara deciding to try to get out of the mall and go back to the orphanage.

Conflict: Mara against her own fear and the environment.

Subtext: Mara coming to a decision to move on her own.

Hope/fear: Hope that she can survive this. Fear that something unfortunate will befall her.

#. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

Panicky, Penny heads for Sarah’s store but stops to scope it out first—and sees mall security there, talking to the employees! Takes off.

Scene arc: From panic setting in to seeing “danger” waiting.

Essence: Penny has lost Mara and is now on her own.

Conflict: Penny against the environment—and her own fears setting in.

Subtext: Penny confronted with fear.

Hope/fear: Fear that Penny has lost Mara. Hope that the girls’ street skills will bring them back together.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Intriguing Moments

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter, which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… That intriguing moments can fit into any genre–and that they should also stay appropriate to the genre, without forcing in a certain type of intriguing moment because it seems like you should. This assignment was very helpful in getting down into the story and taking it to the next level. I could not find much opportunity to turn drama into intrigue, but it doesn’t hurt that there is no shortage of intriguing moments already.

ACT 1

Mystery: Who is Penny calling for in the kitchen, and why is she roaming the kitchen by herself?

Mystery/or Intrigue: How did Mara escape and end up in the alley too?

ACT 2

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Intrigue: Penny seems to have deliberately chosen the mall to go into, even though it is more than removed from the danger (menacing man?) on the street–why?

Covert agenda: Penny seems to have no intention of leaving the mall, as well as intending to dictate to Mara.

Scheme: Sarah’s parents are manipulating her simply because they seem to want grandchildren. Withholding a trust fund from her until she has not one but two kids.

Superior position: Sarah seems to be on to Penny and Mara.

Superior position: Regarding Daphne’s fears and wondering, Penny and Mara are in the mall!

(Or Act 3) Superior position: Penny and Mara do not know it, but the two children that Sarah “needs” must be natural-born children. (Or maybe not–this is still open.)

Secret: Sarah won’t tell her fiancé why she is resisting having children. (Or alternatively she could be suddenly pressuring him about having kids and then inexplicably reversing herself.)

ACT 3

Suspense: Is Penny going to stay with Amanda (and give up on finding Mara)??

Covert agenda: Is there a reason why Amanda won’t just go about things the right way and seek to take care of Penny in a legal way?

Superior position: Sarah can’t or won’t tell her fiancé that she doesn’t want natural children of her own and that is why she splits from him. And actually, the audience probably knows more than Sarah herself does that she wants Penny and Mara in her life over any other children!

ACT 4

Covert agenda: Is Daphne separating Penny and Mara for a reason other than just punishment?

Superior position: Sarah and fiancé don’t know that neither Mara nor Penny are going to be adopted by the current couple.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Superior position: Mara doesn’t know that Sarah and fiancé are outside the orphanage.

(Or Act 3) <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Superior position: Finally, the audience knows that Daphne has never wanted Penny to leave the orphanage, has been “hiding” her profile or discriminating against prospective parents.

Suspense: Because
of Mara bonding with Jess, will she and Penny go their separate ways? Will Mara break her pact with Penny by being
adopted?

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Emotional Moments

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter, which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… Emotional moments are some of the best moments in a script! Creating them deliberately is a bit of a different matter from creating reveals deliberately, and I think the nature of the story is going to allow for emotional moments to create themselves, and that it is the writer’s job to recognize them first (or recognize where they should be) and then to fully bring them out once they are recognized, which is what this assignment does.

1. Penny and Mara spend their first night alone in the mall. They begin to bond as Mara feels basically safe under Penny’s guidance and less anxious (and expresses how she has in essence wanted to be her friend in the orphanage, even though Penny hardly knew her ?). BONDING / COURAGE / STAKES ARE RAISED. ACT 2

2. A fire has started in the orphanage (Penny freaked!)! SURPRISE / DANGER ACT 1

3. A menacing-looking man confronts Penny and Mara in the alley. DANGER ACT 1

4. They journey down the city street—kids on the run! EXCITEMENT / DANGER ACT 1

5. Penny’s goodbye note to Amanda—she explains why she is not meant to be the mother figure for her (and that she has come to understand a little about who she is in the world). BOND (with Mara) / COMING INTO HER OWN ACT 3

6. Penny and Mara get separated in the mall. DANGER / NEGATIVE SURPRISE / STAKES ARE RAISED ACT 3

7. Penny and Mara are separated in the orphanage. LOSS / TYPE OF DISTRESS ACT 4

8. Penny and Mara find each other again! SURPRISE / TRIUMPH / BOND ACT 3

9. Rides on the trolley, eating at the fancy restaurant, and generally traipsing around the mall! EXCITEMENT ACT 2

10. Penny and Mara make a pact that they will always be together. BONDING / LOVE ACT 3

11. Penny tells Mara that she can’t let herself be adopted (it would break their pact). SUSPENSE / (POTENTIAL) LOSS ACT 4

12. Penny and Mara hold each other tightly in the orphanage as Mara’s potential parents stand by. LOVE / DISTRESS ACT 4

13. Mara makes the decision not to let the family adopt her. SACRIFICE / LOVE / COURAGE ACT 4

14. Sarah meets with her parents, who indicate that they will not yield on their condition that Sarah has to have two kids in order to receive her trust fund. MORAL ISSUE / EMOTIONAL DILEMMA ACT 2

15. Sarah leaves fiancé over their disagreement on starting a family (or maybe he leaves her). SACRIFICE / DISTRESS ACT 3

16. Sarah’s feelings for Penny and Mara cause her to reject her parents’ influence in her life and make a decision on her own to “have” children—that is, to adopt Penny and Mara. LOVE / COURAGE (turning her back on the trust fund) / SACRIFICE ACT 3

17. Sarah goes to the orphanage and reports that she knows of two girls who are on their own in the mall. (SEEMING) BETRAYAL ACT 3

18. Mara explores an unexpected underground/subterranean-like area in the mall, which becomes her temporary home in the mall for a little while. She meets [someone / some creature?].—and finds her confidence. SURPRISE ACT 3

19. Mara meets a family in the orphanage who expresses a desire to potentially adopt her. It is what Mara has wanted. SUSPENSE / (POTENTIAL) LOSS (of Penny). ACT 4

20. Daphne has been overly discriminating against parents who express an interest in a girl like Penny and as a result blocking Penny’s chances of being adopted. It is because deep down she has an affection for Penny and does not want to let go of her. EMOTIONAL DILEMMA / MORAL ISSUE ACT 3 or 4

21. Showdown in the
orphanage—will Mara be adopted before Sarah and Fiancé can get approved to
adopt both of the girls? Will Mara choose Penny instead of a family? LOVE / TRIUMPH / SUSPENSE ACT 4

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Reveals!

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter, which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… Coming up with the reveals as a deliberate process can work wonders and really causes you to think through the necessary events of your story and forces you to make sure that what you put in has either a cause or a reason that the audience can see. The real gold in the process is putting yourself in charge of both what will happen and why it happens–and the link between the set-up and the reveal keeps your story “intact” and basically strong.

REVEALS

1. Daphne has wanted Penny to remain in the orphanage (and done her part to accomplish that)–because of an affection for her. Believes she has done the right thing. ACT 4

= SET-UP: Penny’s whole attitude toward being adopted
and her worldview. Spread throughout the story. /
Daphne separates Penny and Mara after they come back to the orphanage. Daphne
“stonewalls” when Sarah expresses a desire to adopt Penny.

2. Mara has a super sense of direction! <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 2

= SET-UP: When the girls
are running down the city street, Mara seems to be taking mental notes of her
surroundings.<div>
</div><div>

3. Penny has accumulated a decent amount of cash… ACT 1

= SET-UP: She has a front pocket of her dress that is
obviously holding something (a small hand purse).
</div>

4. …given to her by Danny the chef over the years. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 2

5. Another orphan has escaped out onto the alley – Mara. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 1

= SET-UP: The way Penny seems
to know the ins and outs of the orphanage suggests that it would be specific to
her alone, no other orphans—she seems to be the only kid wandering through the
orphanage.

6. Penny does not intend to go back to the orphanage. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 2

= SET-UP: First, when she sets eyes on the mall, she
grabs Mara’s hand and makes for it. Then, she leads Mara to believe that they are just in the mall temporarily until the “dangerous man” from the street is gone.

7. Penny actually has an idea of the kind of parents she wants! (brought out at conclusion of her experience with Amanda) ACT 3

= SET-UP: For all of Act 2 and most of Act 3, Penny
has made clear that she has no hope in the idea of getting loving parents.

8. Penny needs Mara (as more than just a utility, a survival companion). <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 3

= SET-UP: Penny’s actions and attitude toward suggest
that she is more interested in controlling Mara so that she herself has a
better chance of surviving and staying out of the orphanage.

9. Sarah’s parents are withholding a trust fund from her until she has <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>two children. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 2

= SET-UP: She is dreading
visiting her parents, has not seen them in a while.

10. Mara
has looked up to Penny for a long time, even though their interactions were
few. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 2 ? 3?

=
SET-UP: Mara seems either contrary to Penny or like she has to try hard to
connect with her.

11. Mara would take Penny over parents. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 4

= SET-UP: Mara appears content (but not quite <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>happy)
that she is now going to be adopted.

1. INT. ORPHANAGE – PREP KITCHEN – DAY

Always-eating orphan PENNY, 8, pops her head in looking for her buddy chef to slip her some snacks. (Maybe a little cash too, as the little bulge in the front pocket of her dress just might contain a (hand purse/coin purse). He is not around, so Penny snoops around—and accidentally starts an oil fire!

2. INT. ORPHANAGE – HALLWAYS

Sneaking back, Penny seems to know the ins and outs of the place. Then sees smoke. She follows it to the kitchen and realizes with horror that she must have started the fire.

3. INT. ORPHANAGE – HALLWAYS

The path back to her room becomes choked with smoke, and Penny flees in panic. She spots a window, gets it open, and climbs out.

4. EXT. ORPHANAGE / CITY ALLEY – CONTINUOUS

She hits the street, easing down from [a dumpster top ?], and comes face to face with orphan MARA, 7, who looks scared. They both run around to the front of the building, don’t see anybody from the orphanage, only smoke—then, just as Penny’s little hand purse falls out of er dress pocket, some menacing-looking man comes and forces the girls to run. [Mini-adventure… ]

5. EXT. ORPHANAGE

Kids and staff start to file out of the burning building, congregate on the street, a few hundred feet away.

6. EXT. CITY STREET – CONTINUOUS

Penny follows Mara’s apparently scanning eyes to the huge, looming shopping mall down the street —biggest in the country. Her face lights up with a realization, then she grabs Mara’s hand and takes off running down the street toward the mall. Mara seems to be taking mental notes of her surroundings.

7. EXT. /INT. MALL

The girls enter. A small city of a mall!…

ACT 2

8. INT. MALL

…Overwhelmed, they make their first tentative steps, navigating a sea of people. Mara, seemingly scared, protests that they need to go back. Penny leads Mara to believe that they are just in the mall until the “dangerous man” from the street is gone.

#. EXT. CITY STREET / ORPHANAGE – SAME

Fire trucks arrive.

9. INT. MALL

Penny and Mara spot a trolley cruising by, part of a whole transport system. The girls hop on for a joyride. They spot a huge candy store and jump off the trolley! Penny flashes some cash at Mara. Explains that Danny the cook has given her money over a long time.

10. INT. MALL

…Passing a boutique store on the way to the candy store, they are eyed by employee [ SARAH ], looking out of their element and gape-eyed. The situation appears curious to Sarah. Sarah mentions to her co-worker something about seeing her parents, and dreading it.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – SAME

The fire has been put out. HEADMISTRESS DAPHNE, 50’s, confirms a count of all the orphans—all except Penny & Mara! Daphne holds chef/cook DANNY accountable for the fire and fires him.

#. INT. MALL – CANDY STORE

Penny & Mara are in total bliss surrounded by the largest candy store anyone has ever seen! Later… they stuff their faces with chocolates and candy—much of which is taken “gratis”! Still later… they hold their bellies in sugar-overload agony. A worker approaches them, asks them don’t they have folks around. The girls leave, taking the cue.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – SAME

Firefighters confirm no one was hurt or killed in the fire. Head Mistress realizes that the girls must have gotten out. Calls police (or relevant party) to have a search put out for Penny and Mara.

#. INT. MALL – CLOTHING STORE

Penny realizes that they are going to have to get different clothes—and also act like they are not alone. They go into a kids’ clothing store, manhandle the clothes and a clerk lets them know that they have to PAY FOR the clothes. Asks where are your parents. Penny flashes her cash, saying they gave me this money.

#. INT. MALL

They go to one of the hundreds of directory signs and try to figure out what is where and where the trolley system goes. = STRATEGY SESSION

Mara pleads with Penny that they have to go back to the orphanage, but Penny refuses and asserts herself over Mara, saying somebody needs to take charge, and it is going to be me. And/or, that she does not intend to go back to the orphanage! = This can be elsewhere (but still Act 2)—big turning point.

#. INT. SARAH’S PARENTS HOUSE – DAY/NIGHT

Sarah meets with her parents, who indicate that they will not yield on their condition that Sarah has to have two kids in order to receive her trust fund. Sarah flounders in frustration and indecision in front of her cold mother. She parts with a veiled sort of threat or insult, etc, to her mother, her first act of rebellion.

#. INT. MALL – FOOD COURT

Penny & Mara get their first dinner, many curious eyes on them.

#. INT. MALL – LIQUOR STORE – NIGHT

AMANDA, 39, chats up the clerk, buying a bottle of hard liquor and wine. Clerk insinuates Amanda drinks just a little too much. Amanda responds back with high opinion of herself, profession, etc.

#. INT. OUTSIDE LIQUOR STORE

Penny and Mara watch Amanda walking out. Penny tells Mara to look cute for her, attract her attention. They lock eyes, Amanda smiles at the girls affectionately and makes her way.

#. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

Penny and Mara watch Amanda, then follow her. The girls hear the mall PA announcement that it will be closing (in 30 minutes) and freak out. Decide they have to keep following Amanda. They watch her get on the futuristic, high-running elevator and get on themselves….

#. INT ELEVATOR – CONTINUOUS

Looking down through the all-glass elevator, Mara sees someone standing next to a mall security officer and pointing up at them. The girls see Amanda get off the elevator on a high level.

#. INT. MALL – UPPER LEVEL

Penny and Mara get off on the same level Amanda did just in time to see her disappear around a corner, and just as Mara looks back down and sees the mall security officer waiting on the elevator. She alerts Penny. They run down the long hall after Amanda, make a turn and see a wide set of double doors—no Amanda (which lead to the luxury apartments). They try to open the doors, but they open only with a special entry key system.

#. INT. BACK ON A LOWER LEVEL – HOME FURNISHINGS STORE

(The girls hide inside a home furnishings store. It goes dark at closing time, the staff leave, and Penny and Mara go to bed in luxurious beds in the store.)

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – NIGHT

Head Mistress Daphne gets the latest report from the searchers (police?) that the girls have not been found. Daphne breaks down and gets emotional (more for her own responsibility or emotional over the girls ??). Searchers assure her that they will find the girls.

#. INT. HOME FURNISHING STORE

They let loose and run around the place like crazy, jumping on the beds, food fight with popcorn, etc. (Pull out some more candy… almost get sick just looking at it, then go, simultaneously, “Nah…!”) They get into separate beds, until later Mara crawls into bed with Penny. Sensible, cautious Mara “sets” her internal alarm clock.

#. INT. HOME FURNISHINGS STORE – DAY

Next morning, the girls ( struggle to get out of the store but find their way out at the last minute / or, have to hide in the furniture store itself, then slink out at the first opportunity ).

#. INT. MALL – DAY

The mall is practically empty except for employees opening the shops—the girls realize they are totally vulnerable! (The girls look to the trolley system—it is not running yet.) Hide somewhere until the place starts filling up? Mara notices far down a security officer looking their direction. They realize they have to get new clothes.

#. EXT. AREA AROUND THE ORPHANAGE / DOWNTOWN STREET – DAY

Search team / police comb the downtown area surrounding the mall. They enter the mall.

#. INT. MALL – BOUTIQUE STORE – DAY

Sarah opens up her store, at which moment the trolley system springs to operation….

#. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

…While across the vast mall corridor from Sarah’s store, Penny & Mara run for the trolley and jump on it…. ( Luckily for them, the trolley operator is not the same as yesterday! )

#. INT. MALL – BOUTIQUE STORE – CONTINUOUS

…Sarah spots the girls on the trolley and watches them jump off by the food court. She tells her co-worker that she is going to go grab some coffee, actually meaning to follow Penny & Mara.

#. INT. FOOD COURT

Penny & Mara are getting breakfast… Sarah spies them from across the court. She hangs out for a little while… looks at her watch… she has to get back (more than 10 min go by)… reluctantly heads back, eying the girls. The girls find a cell phone!

#. BACK AT BOUTIQUE STORE

Sarah still has a hawk-eye going, but now the mall has started to swell to its regular high-density traffic…. But then—bingo!—the girls show up again, coming Sarah’s direction…. But she loses them again!

#. BOUTIQUE STORE, OR SOMEWHERE ELSE

Sarah and the girls meet. Sarah wonders out loud at them if they are by themselves, covertly questioning. Upon parting, Penny tells Mara that they need to be careful of her (even though they both immediately see her as the ideal parent to adopt them!) From the point that the girls meet Sarah, all of their happy, carefree, comedy-filled moments ensue, mostly clustered. They end upon MIDPOINT, or shortly before.

#. INT. SARAH’S PLACE – NIGHT

Sarah tells her Fiancé about Penny & Mara—and also about her new job. Expresses her misgivings about the girls and that she needs to report that they are by themselves. Withholds from him the details of her meeting with her parents. *IMPORTANT: Should not bring up the new job until the interaction with Penny & Mara is a sufficient set-up for their relationship throughout the movie.

#. INT. MALL

Sarah takes the girls clothes shopping! Later, when parting, she takes them aside and hints that she knows, or suspects, what is going on with them. Gives them each a little bag with money, snacks. By scene’s end, she is convinced that the girls are on their own.

#. INT. MALL

WITH SARAH HERE ? (On an upper level, Penny accidentally drops her smothered hot dog down onto someone’s head on the level below them! They crack up laughing. Then, she drops some other food on someone’s head—this time for fun. Mara even follows suit.) Penny and Mara explore the upper levels of the mall (which contain the most fun for kids? AMUSEMENT PARK, TOY STORES, ETC).

#. INT. MALL

They explore the far reaches of the mall (now avoiding Sarah). They get in an argument about Sarah, Penny deciding that Sarah is too “dangerous” for them. Mara is not convinced but bows to Penny.

#. INT. MALL – FINE RESTAURANT – NIGHT

(They can’t get past the hostess/maître d’ at an upscale restaurant, but then Sarah arrives with her fiancé, she acts as the girls’ aunt, and they all get a table. Comic misadventures eating!) Maybe this should be Amanda instead, otherwise it will force Sarah’s decision right there—she cannot in good conscience just leave the girls to their devices.

#. INT. MALL – BOUTIQUE

Tired and worried about their situation, Mara insists that they find Sarah—Penny says no. Mara defies Penny and runs over to Sarah’s store—Penny doesn’t follow. When she finally does follow, they have lost each other! Mara is shocked to discover that Sarah is not there (she doesn’t work at the mall anymore).

#. INT. MALL – LATER

Sarah returns, looking for the girls, meaning to tell them that she got another job, but doesn’t find them.

#. INT. [ SARAH’S PLACE ] – NIGHT

Sarah and her fiancé argue over Penny and Mara and about having children generally. Sarah leaves him.

ACT 3

#. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

Mara realizes she has lost Penny and so decides to leave the mall and try to go back to the orphanage….

#. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

(Mara’s winding journey out of the mall.)

#. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

Panicky, Penny heads for Sarah’s store but is cautious upon approaching—she stops to scope it out first—and sees mall security there, talking to the employees! Hiding just out of view, Penny takes off without being seen.

#. UPPER LEVEL / LUXURY APARTMENTS SECTION / OR LIQUOR STORE first

(Penny gets onto the elevator.) Knowing she has lost Mara, Penny seeks out Amanda, waiting just at the opening to the apartments section…. Eventually Amanda comes, and Penny gloms onto her.

#. EXT. MALL / CITY STREET

Mara makes it out, onto the jarring reality of the city street, she looks in both directions, orienting herself, gauging where the orphanage is from here. It is cold and windy. Lots of anonymous faces, a foreign world. She turns a corner or two and spots the orphanage. A moment of soul-searching—does she really want to go back? Or find Penny?…

#. INT. LUXURY APARTMENTS SECTION – AMANDA’S APARTMENT

Amanda brings Penny into her place. Very luxurious, anything a kid could want in a home. (Amanda says that before they do anything, they need to get Penny some new clothes.)

#. INT. MALL – LATER

Amanda takes Penny clothes-shopping.

#. EXT./INT. MALL

Mara sees a cat slink into the mall from the street. Following it back in, she catches a glimpse of it just in time disappearing around a corner, where there is [ a staircase or maybe some tunnel or chute-like thing where she slides down… ]

#. INT. SUBTERRANEAN COMPLEX

…And ends up in a vast underground area (is it a sewer system?). Something about it suggests it was once an area that was regularly inhabited for some purpose (business, whatever), maybe events or maybe construction of something that went into disuse. (Mara loses the cell phone.)

#. INT. AMANDA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Penny’s first night staying at Amanda’s.

#. INT. MALL – NEXT MORNING

Penny is now done up in clothes, hairstyle, and make-up courtesy of Amanda. Amanda totes Penny around as her errand-running companion. (Did Penny talk Amanda into helping find Mara?)

#. INT. MALL…

Mara makes way out of the subterranean area. Goes to….? thinking that Penny might show up.

#. INT. AMANDA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

A man comes over and later Amanda tries to put Penny to bed. Penny watches (or otherwise hears, observes, etc) Amanda and her man friend in love-making ventures, snickering and bug-eyed.

#. INT. MALL – DAY

Sarah returns to the mall a second time, searching for the girls. She actually passes by Penny and Amanda but doesn’t recognize Penny! (Or maybe just sees their backs.)

#. INT. MALL

She spends one last night at Amanda’s, and the next morning quietly leaves to go find Mara. First she goes into her purse, looking to take some cash—but decides against it. She leaves Amanda a note, thanking her, etc, but also explaining why she is not meant to be the mother figure for her (and that she has come to have a sense of her own identity in the world).

#. INT. MALL

The girls reunite! Make a pact / bond / vow that from now on they will always be together.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – DAY

Sarah meets Daphne. Asks about Penny & Mara, and Daphne gets simultaneously suspicious and emotional. Sarah tells her about ‘two girls all by themselves’ in the mall. Daphne is totally relieved.

#. INT. SARAH’S PLACE

Sarah’s now-off-fiancé comes back and promises her that he wants what she wants (a family). Sarah says but there’s something more important first, before we do it “the natural way”—I want to adopt.

#. INT. MALL

Penny & Mara’s last hurrah in the mall (The amusement park!). INTERCUTTING with investigators and mall personnel on the search / in pursuit. The girls are finally caught!

ACT 4

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – DAY

Daphne separates Penny and Mara as a punishment. [Maybe has a talking-to with each of the girls, threatening that this stunt has got them into a whole lot of trouble.] Mara buddies up with JESS, another orphan. Penny discovers that the Cook is no longer there.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – MAIN OFFICE

A couple comes into the orphanage, meets with Daphne. They express a desire to adopt a girl. (Maybe they say they would even like two.) Their description of their desired kid(s) practically describes Mara and Penny completely. Daphne stiffens when the description conjures up Penny.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE

The couple meet Mara. Mara tentatively expresses a liking for them. Daphne arranges plans for the three of them to go out for their trial time together, and they leave.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE

Sarah and Fiancé have arrived at the orphanage and are next to see Daphne. They are told Mara is <s>going to be adopted by somebody else</s> out with the prospective parents and will be adopted (Or, “chances are good that the adoption will go through. Mara seems to like the couple very much.”). Sarah wavers on the prospect of adopting just one of them but needs to think about it. Daphne, in an indirect way, tries to dissuade Sarah from adopting Penny.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE / EXT. PARKING LOT

Sarah and fiancé leave but dally in the parking lot, wavering….

#. INT. ORPHANAGE

DAPHNE’S SECRETARY (or someone) inquires about Mara being adopted. Daphne’s secretary says it is not right that Penny and Mara are kept apart, especially if Mara is going to be adopted soon. That they belong together. Daphne reveals that she doesn’t—hasn’t—think that anyone is good enough to adopt Penny [ and that, whether anyone realizes it or not, for now at least, Penny is better off at the orphanage until the perfect parents come along ].

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – MAIN OFFICE

Mara and the couple return. After some pleasantries, Daphne questions Mara about her feelings about the couple, etc (Mara mostly positive but a little hesitant / Woman and Mara hug affectionately).

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – MAIN OFFICE

Daphne is ready to proceed with the next stage of adoption. The couple: “Are you sure? You seem a little hesitant, dear.” “It’s my friend….” Mara turns and sees Penny out in the hall looking in with wide eyes. Mara practically bursts with joy and runs out to Penny.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – MAIN OFFICE / MAIN HALL

Penny reminds Mara of their pact. They grab each other and hold on tight. The couple waver, suddenly they can’t bear the girls being separated. Wonder out loud, maybe we could adopt both of them? Then Penny says, No—Sarah.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE

Penny is led out (she is on a ‘restriction’ / punishment), and after Mara indicates ‘she can’t’, the couple say maybe they need to think about it.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE

Penny spots Sarah and Fiancé, who have come back in! Runs to them—Don’t let Mara get adopted—we want to be with you! Sarah indicates to Penny that Mara has found another family, and Penny says you have to find her.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Character Action Tracks

My
vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter, which causes me to be a
consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts,
and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie
industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become
indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… I think this assignment is a crucial step in outlining, because it takes your ideas and events and begins to bring the characters to life in them–in the most important aspect, which is action. Actually I was a little rushed with this one because I got behind, so I did not fully live up to the assignment–had to post quick–but I still did a decent job I think, and I still got the assignment’s benefit.

1. INT. ORPHANAGE – PREP KITCHEN – DAY (approaching lunch time)

Always-eating orphan PENNY, 8, pops her head in looking for her buddy chef to slip her some snacks. Maybe a little cash too, as she carries her little hand purse/coin purse. He is not around, so Penny snoops around—and accidentally starts an oil fire!

2. INT. ORPHANAGE – HALLWAYS

Sneaking back, Penny sees smoke. She follows it to the kitchen and realizes with horror that she must have started the fire.

3. INT. ORPHANAGE – HALLWAYS

The path back to her room becomes choked with smoke, and Penny flees in panic. She spots a window, gets it open, and climbs out.

4. EXT. ORPHANAGE / CITY ALLEY – CONTINUOUS

She hits the street, easing down from [a dumpster top ?], and comes face to face with orphan MARA, 7, who looks scared. They both run around to the front of the building, don’t see anybody from the orphanage, only smoke—then someone or something comes or blocks their way, threatening, and forces the girls to run down the city street.

5. EXT. ORPHANAGE

Kids and staff start to file out of the burning building, congregate on the street, a few hundred feet away.

6. EXT. CITY STREET

Penny and Mara lay eyes at the same time on the huge, looming shopping mall down the street—biggest in the country. Penny grabs Mara’s hand and they take off down the street toward it. [ Mini-adventure… ]

7. EXT. /INT. MALL

The girls enter. A small city of a mall!…

ACT 2

8. INT. MALL

…Overwhelmed, they make their first tentative steps, navigating a sea of people. They spot a trolley cruising by, part of a whole transport system. The girls hop on for a joyride.

#. EXT. CITY STREET / ORPHANAGE – SAME

Fire trucks arrive.

9. INT. MALL

They spot a huge candy store and jump off the trolley! Penny flashes some cash at Mara.

10. INT. MALL

…Passing a boutique store on the way to the candy store, they are eyed by employee [ SARAH ], looking out of their element and gape-eyed. The situation appears curious to Sarah.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – SAME

The fire has been put out. HEADMISTRESS DAPHNE, 50’s, confirms a count of all the orphans—all except Penny & Mara! Daphne holds chef/cook DANNY accountable for the fire and fires him.

#. INT. MALL – CANDY STORE

Penny & Mara are in total bliss surrounded by the largest candy store anyone has ever seen! Later… they stuff their faces with chocolates and candy—much of which is taken “gratis”! Still later… they hold their bellies in sugar-overload agony. A worker approaches them, asks them don’t they have folks around. The girls leave, taking the cue.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – SAME

Firefighters confirm no one was hurt or killed in the fire. Head Mistress realizes that the girls must have gotten out. Calls police (or relevant party) to have a search put out for Penny and Mara.

#. INT. MALL – CLOTHING STORE

Penny realizes that they are going to have to get different clothes—and also act like they are not alone. They go into a kids’ clothing store, manhandle the clothes and a clerk lets them know that they have to PAY FOR the clothes. Asks where are your parents. Penny flashes her cash, saying they gave me this money.

#. INT. MALL

They go to one of the hundreds of directory signs and try to figure out what is where and where the trolley system goes. = STRATEGY SESSION

Mara pleads with Penny that they have to go back to the orphanage, but Penny refuses and asserts herself over Mara, saying somebody needs to take charge, and it is going to be me.

#. INT. SARAH’S PARENTS HOUSE – DAY/NIGHT

Sarah meets with her parents, who indicate that they will not yield on their condition that Sarah has to have two kids in order to receive her trust fund. Sarah flounders in frustration and indecision in front of her cold mother. She parts with a veiled sort of threat or insult, etc, to her mother, her first act of rebellion.

#. INT. MALL – FOOD COURT

Penny & Mara get their first dinner, many curious eyes on them.

#. INT. MALL – LIQUOR STORE – NIGHT

AMANDA, 39, chats up the clerk, buying a bottle of hard liquor and wine. Clerk insinuates Amanda drinks just a little too much. Amanda responds back with high opinion of herself, profession, etc.

#. INT. OUTSIDE LIQUOR STORE

Penny and Mara watch Amanda walking out. Penny tells Mara to look cute for her, attract her attention. They lock eyes, Amanda smiles at the girls affectionately and makes her way.

#. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

Penny and Mara watch Amanda, then follow her. The girls hear the mall PA announcement that it will be closing (in 30 minutes) and freak out. Decide they have to keep following Amanda. They watch her get on the futuristic, high-running elevator and get on themselves….

#. INT ELEVATOR – CONTINUOUS

Looking down through the all-glass elevator, Mara sees someone standing next to a mall security officer and pointing up at them. The girls see Amanda get off the elevator on a high level.

#. INT. MALL – UPPER LEVEL

Penny and Mara get off on the same level Amanda did just in time to see her disappear around a corner, and just as Mara looks back down and sees the mall security officer waiting on the elevator. She alerts Penny. They run down the long hall after Amanda, make a turn and see a wide set of double doors—no Amanda (which lead to the luxury apartments). They try to open the doors, but they open only with a special entry key system. Far down the hall, Mara notices [ another elevator, or some other type of “portal” ] and they make a run for it—before the security officer gets to them. BUT HE RADIOES TO ANOTHER OFFICER?

#. INT. BACK ON A LOWER LEVEL – HOME FURNISHINGS STORE

(The girls hide inside a home furnishings store. It goes dark at closing time, the staff leave, and Penny and Mara go to bed in luxurious beds in the store.)

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – NIGHT

Head Mistress Daphne gets the latest report from the searchers (police?) that the girls have not been found. Daphne breaks down and gets emotional Searchers assure her that they will find the girls.

#. INT. HOME FURNISHING STORE

They let loose and run around the place like crazy, jumping on the beds, food fight with popcorn, etc. They get into separate beds, until later Mara crawls into bed with Penny. Sensible, cautious Mara “sets” her internal alarm clock.

#. INT. HOME FURNISHINGS STORE – DAY

Next morning, the girls ( struggle to get out of the store but find their way out at the last minute / or, have to hide in the furniture store itself, then slink out at the first opportunity ).

#. INT. MALL – DAY

The mall is practically empty except for employees opening the shops—the girls realize they are totally vulnerable! (The girls look to the trolley system—it is not running yet.) Hide somewhere until the place starts filling up? Mara notices far down a security officer looking their direction. They realize they have to get new clothes.

#. EXT. AREA AROUND THE ORPHANAGE / DOWNTOWN STREET – DAY

Search team / police comb the downtown area surrounding the mall. They enter the mall.

#. INT. MALL – BOUTIQUE STORE – DAY

Sarah opens up her store, at which moment the trolley system springs to operation….

#. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

…While across the vast mall corridor from Sarah’s store, Penny & Mara run for the trolley and jump on it…. ( Luckily for them, the trolley operator is not the same as yesterday! )

#. INT. MALL – BOUTIQUE STORE – CONTINUOUS

…Sarah spots the girls on the trolley and watches them jump off by the food court. She tells her co-worker that she is going to go grab some coffee, actually meaning to follow Penny & Mara.

#. INT. FOOD COURT

Penny & Mara are getting breakfast… Sarah spies them from across the court. She hangs out for a little while… looks at her watch… she has to get back (more than 10 min go by)… reluctantly heads back, eying the girls. The girls find a cell phone!

#. BACK AT BOUTIQUE STORE

Sarah still has a hawk-eye going, but now the mall has started to swell to its regular high-density traffic…. But then—bingo!—the girls show up again, coming Sarah’s direction…. But she loses them again!

#. BOUTIQUE STORE, OR SOMEWHERE ELSE

Sarah and the girls meet. Sarah wonders out loud at them if they are by themselves, covertly questioning. Upon parting, Penny tells Mara that they need to be careful of her (even though they both immediately see her as the ideal parent to adopt them!) From the point that the girls meet Sarah, all of their happy, carefree, comedy-filled moments ensue, mostly clustered. They end upon MIDPOINT, or shortly before.

#. INT. SARAH’S PLACE – NIGHT

Sarah tells her Fiancé about Penny & Mara—and also about her new job. Expresses her misgivings about the girls and that she needs to report that they are by themselves. Withholds from him the details of her meeting with her parents.

#. INT. MALL

Sarah takes the girls clothes shopping! Later, when parting, she takes them aside and hints that she knows, or suspects, what is going on with them. Gives them each a little bag with money, snacks. By scene’s end, she is convinced that the girls are on their own.

Maybe instead, she puts on an act, saying things like, Well I guess this is goodbye, don’t know when you’ll return to the mall etc. as a ploy to get them to admit what is going on. (Also money, food, and a note?)

#. INT. MALL

WITH SARAH HERE ? (On an upper level, Penny accidentally drops her smothered hot dog down onto someone’s head on the level below them! They crack up laughing. Then, she drops some other food on someone’s head—this time for fun. Mara even follows suit.) Penny and Mara explore the upper levels of the mall (which contain the most fun for kids? AMUSEMENT PARK, TOY STORES, ETC).

#. INT. MALL

They explore the far reaches of the mall (now avoiding Sarah). They get in an argument about Sarah, Penny deciding that Sarah is too “dangerous” for them. Mara is not convinced but bows to Penny.

#. INT. MALL – FINE RESTAURANT – NIGHT

(They can’t get past the hostess/maître d’ at an upscale restaurant, but then Sarah arrives with her fiancé, she acts as the girls’ aunt, and they all get a table. Comic misadventures eating!) Maybe this should be Amanda instead, otherwise it will force Sarah’s decision right there—she cannot in good conscience just leave the girls to their devices.

#. INT. MALL – BOUTIQUE

Tired and worried about their situation, Mara insists that they find Sarah—Penny says no. Mara defies Penny and runs over to Sarah’s store—Penny doesn’t follow. When she finally does follow, they have lost each other! Mara is shocked to discover that Sarah is not there (she doesn’t work at the mall anymore).

#. INT. MALL – LATER

Sarah returns, looking for the girls, meaning to tell them that she got another job, but doesn’t find them.

#. INT. [ SARAH’S PLACE ] – NIGHT

Sarah and her fiancé argue over Penny and Mara and about having children generally. Sarah leaves him.

ACT 3

#. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

Mara realizes she has lost Penny and so decides to leave the mall and try to go back to the orphanage….

#. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

(Mara’s winding journey out of the mall.)

#. INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

Panicky, Penny heads for Sarah’s store but is cautious upon approaching—she stops to scope it out first—and sees mall security there, talking to the employees! Hiding just out of view, Penny takes off without being seen.

#. UPPER LEVEL / LUXURY APARTMENTS SECTION / OR LIQUOR STORE first

(Penny gets onto the elevator.) Knowing she has lost Mara, Penny seeks out Amanda, waiting just at the opening to the apartments section…. Eventually Amanda comes, and Penny gloms onto her.

#. EXT. MALL / CITY STREET

Mara makes it out, onto the jarring reality of the city street, she looks in both directions, orienting herself, gauging where the orphanage is from here. It is cold and windy. Lots of anonymous faces, a foreign world. She turns a corner or two and spots the orphanage. A moment of soul-searching—does she really want to go back? Or find Penny?…

#. INT. LUXURY APARTMENTS SECTION – AMANDA’S APARTMENT

Amanda brings Penny into her place. Very luxurious, anything a kid could want in a home. (Amanda says that before they do anything, they need to get Penny some new clothes.)

#. INT. MALL – LATER

Amanda takes Penny clothes-shopping.

#. EXT./INT. MALL

Mara sees a cat slink into the mall from the street. Following it back in, she catches a glimpse of it just in time disappearing around a corner, where there is [ a staircase or maybe some tunnel or chute-like thing where she slides down… ]

#. INT. SUBTERRANEAN COMPLEX

…And ends up in a vast underground area (is it a sewer system?). Something about it suggests it was once an area that was regularly inhabited for some purpose (business, whatever), maybe events or maybe construction of something that went into disuse. THINK OF ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK EPISODE, POD PEOPLE! There she meets ____________! (Mara loses the cell phone.)

[ #. INT. MALL

WHERE DOES MARA SPEND THE NIGHT? SUBTERRANEAN AREA? Could she try to catch a ride on the trolley, or is she too tired? ]

#. INT. AMANDA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Penny’s first night staying at Amanda’s.

#. INT. MALL – NEXT MORNING

Penny is now done up in clothes, hairstyle, and make-up courtesy of Amanda. Amanda totes Penny around as her errand-running companion. (Did Penny talk Amanda into helping find Mara?)

#. INT. MALL…

Mara makes way out of the subterranean area. Goes to….? thinking that Penny might show up.

#. INT. AMANDA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

A man comes over and later Amanda tries to put Penny to bed. Penny watches (or otherwise hears, observes, etc) Amanda and her man friend in love-making ventures, snickering and bug-eyed.

#. INT. MALL – DAY

Sarah returns to the mall a second time, searching for the girls. She actually passes by Penny and Amanda but doesn’t recognize Penny! (Or maybe just sees their backs.)

#. INT. MALL

(a) Penny discovers something ( that Mara left behind, or this idea ), and it causes her to run for [the place]—she finds Mara there! Or she just finds the thing and she has to sleep on it to figure out what to do, which would naturally lead to (b) below.

OR (b) She spends one last night at Amanda’s, and the next morning quietly leaves to go find Mara. First she goes into her purse, looking to take some cash—but decides against it. She leaves Amanda a note, thanking her, etc, but also explaining why she is not meant to be the mother figure for her.

#. INT. MALL

The girls reunite! Make a pact / bond / vow that from now on they will always be together.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – DAY

Sarah meets Daphne. Asks about Penny & Mara, and Daphne gets simultaneously suspicious and emotional. Sarah tells her about ‘two girls all by themselves’ in the mall. Daphne is totally relieved.

#. INT. SARAH’S PLACE (Act 4 ?)

Sarah’s now-off-fiancé comes back and promises her that he wants what she wants (a family). Sarah says but there’s something more important first, before we do it “the natural way”—I want to adopt.

#. INT. MALL

Penny & Mara’s last hurrah in the mall (The amusement park!). INTERCUTTING with investigators and mall personnel on the search / in pursuit. The girls are finally caught!

ACT 4

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – DAY

Daphne separates Penny and Mara as a punishment. [Maybe has a talking-to with each of the girls, threatening that this stunt has got them into a whole lot of trouble.] Mara buddies up with JESS, another orphan. Penny discovers that the Cook is no longer there.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – MAIN OFFICE

A couple comes into the orphanage, meets with Daphne. They express a desire to adopt a girl. (Maybe they say they would even like two.) Their description of their desired kid(s) practically describes Mara and Penny completely. Daphne stiffens when the description conjures up Penny.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE

The couple meet Mara. Mara tentatively expresses a liking for them. Daphne arranges plans for the three of them to go out for their trial time together, and they leave.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE

Sarah and Fiancé have arrived at the orphanage and are next to see Daphne. They are told Mara is <s>going to be adopted by somebody else</s> out with the prospective parents and will be adopted (Or, “chances are good that the adoption will go through. Mara seems to like the couple very much.”). Sarah wavers on the prospect of adopting just one of them but needs to think about it. [ Daphne, in an indirect way, tries to dissuade Sarah from adopting Penny. ]

#. INT. ORPHANAGE / EXT. PARKING LOT

Sarah and fiancé leave but dally in the parking lot, wavering….

#. INT. ORPHANAGE

DAPHNE’S SECRETARY (or someone) inquires about Mara being adopted. Daphne’s secretary says it is not right that Penny and Mara are kept apart, especially if Mara is going to be adopted soon. That they belong together. Daphne reveals that she doesn’t—hasn’t—think that anyone is good enough to adopt Penny [ and that, whether anyone realizes it or not, for now at least, Penny is better off at the orphanage until the perfect parents come along ].

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – MAIN OFFICE

Mara and the couple return. After some pleasantries, Daphne questions Mara about her feelings about the couple, etc (Mara mostly positive but a little hesitant / woman and Mara hug affectionately).

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – MAIN OFFICE

Daphne is ready to proceed with the next stage of adoption. The couple: “Are you sure? You seem a little hesitant, dear.” “It’s my friend….” Mara turns and sees Penny out in the hall looking in with wide eyes. Mara practically bursts with joy and runs out to Penny.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE – MAIN OFFICE / MAIN HALL

Penny reminds Mara of their pact. They grab each other and hold on tight. The couple waver, suddenly they can’t bear the girls being separated. Wonder out loud, maybe we could adopt both of them? Then Penny says, No—Sarah.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE

Penny is led out (she is on a ‘restriction’ / punishment), and after Mara indicates ‘she can’t’, the couple say maybe they need to think about it.

#. INT. ORPHANAGE

Penny spots Sarah and Fiancé, who have come back in! Runs
to them—Don’t let Mara get adopted—we want to be with you! Sarah indicates to
Penny that Mara has found another family, and Penny says you have to find her.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Beat Sheet–Draft 1

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… Adding in the deeper layers was very helpful and I can see that doing this will have a great effect on the development of the outline later. This initial stage of the outline was a good amount of work (doesn’t help that I have two protagonists) but it made me feel confident about the overall structure and that each of the three character journeys are represented well.

Act 1: The two orphans Penny and Mara escape their orphanage during a fire and are compelled down the city street to a vast shopping mall.

Protagonist Journey 1 (Penny) / INCITING INCIDENT:

Penny obliviously starts a fire in the orphanage kitchen.

Penny journey 2: Penny escapes out of the building, finds Mara on the street and is compelled down the city street (with Mara) by some threatening man or situation toward a vast shopping mall. They enter the mall.

Deeper layer: Serendipity having presented itself, Penny sees the mall as her chance to break free from the orphanage.

Mara journey 1: Mara flees down the city street with Penny–and enters the mall.

ACT 1 TURNING POINT:

Penny and Mara enter the huge shopping mall, which is its own self-contained world….

Act 2: Penny and Mara must get oriented to their new, vast environment, figure out how to navigate and how to find the necessities for their survival, while avoiding being found out.

Mara journey 2: She is afraid and comes to trust Penny.

Deeper layer: She understands that Penny is not afraid the way she is and deep down is thankful that Penny is ‘taking charge’.

Sarah journey 1: She notices the two orphans by themselves, then attempts to meet them.

Sarah journey 2: Meets with her parents, who indicate that they will not yield on their condition that Sarah has to have two kids in order to receive her trust fund.

Sarah journey 3: Finally meets Penny and Mara. Covertly questions them.

Sarah journey 4: Withholds from her fiancé–who of late is mildly pressuring her about having children–the details of her meeting with her parents.

Deeper layer: She is not really sure what she wants—she fears that the issue of the trust fund is distorting her feelings on a family of her own.

Sarah journey 5: Meets Penny and Mara again and spends some time with them around the mall. Realizes that they are on their own.

Penny journey 3: The idea of settling in and surviving eventually sinks in–and for Penny, there is no turning back. In Sarah, she sees the ideal parental candidate–but forces herself and Mara to stay away from her.

Deeper layer: Penny doesn’t trust adults and convinces herself that Sarah is a threat to her freedom.

Penny journey 4: She does her best to come up with a plan, which amounts to: get what they need day by day—no real plan at all.

Deeper layer: She is avoiding for as long as she possibly can admitting to herself that they cannot live like this forever.

Sarah journey 6: Leaves the mall, having gotten a new job.

Mara journey 3: She sees that they cannot keep up their hand-to-mouth existence forever and defies Penny, putting all her hopes in Sarah and physically separating from Penny (just long enough to reach Sarah).

MIDPOINT (Act 2 Turning Point):

Penny and Mara get separated and lose each other.

Act 3: For a while, Penny and Mara are living separate lives…. Until they re-unite and make a pact that they will always be together.

Sarah journey 7: Leaves fiancé over their disagreement on starting a family (or maybe he leaves her).

Deeper layer: Her feelings for Penny and Mara cause her to want to finally start a family of her own—but she doesn’t want kids of her own—she wants to adopt Penny and Mara.

Mara journey 4: Realizing that she has lost Penny, she takes a long journey through the mall, finds an exit, and finds herself out on the city street.

Mara journey 5: She decides to not go back to the orphanage and goes back into the mall. Long journey to far-flung areas, surviving, searching for Penny.

Penny journey 5: Penny goes to the luxury apartments area, seeking out Amanda like a stray cat. Gets taken in by Amanda.

Sarah journey 8: She goes back to the mall to try to find the girls, doesn’t find them, then goes to the orphanage and reports that she knows of two girls who are on their own in the mall.

Mara journey 6: Mara explores an unexpected underground/subterranean-like area in the mall, which becomes her temporary home in the mall for a little while. She meets [someone / some creature?].—and finds her confidence.

Penny journey 6: Penny leaves Amanda’s place, resolved to find Mara.

ACT 3 TURNING POINT:

Penny and Mara are caught and sent back to the orphanage.

Act 4: Penny and Mara are back in the orphanage and are separated by headmistress Daphne. In limbo now.

Mara journey 7: Mara bonds with another orphan Jess.

Penny journey 7: Penny learns about Mara’s new friendship and becomes sad.

Deeper layer: Now that Mara is separated from her in the orphanage, Penny’s worst fear seems to be realized, which is that she will never have parents. Now she doesn’t even have Mara.

Mara journey 8: Mara meets a family in the orphanage who expresses a desire to potentially adopt her.

Deeper layer: Mara has learned self-confidence, self-esteem, and a sense of independence and now is not overly dependent on getting adopted.

Deeper layer: Daphne has been overly discriminating against parents who express an interest in a girl like Penny and as a result blocking Penny’s chances of being adopted. It is because deep down she has an affection for Penny and does not want to let go of her.

Sarah journey 9: Back together with her fiancé, Sarah seeks adoption of Penny and Mara.

Mara journey 9: Mara accepts the idea that she will be adopted by this family. Has second thoughts when she gets to see Penny again by accident. She remembers her pact with Penny….

Penny journey 8: Finds Sarah in the orphanage at the last minute. Tells her to not let Mara get adopted!

CLIMAX:

Showdown in the orphanage—will
Mara be adopted before Sarah and Fiancé can get approved to adopt both
of the girls? And will Daphne be truthful to Sarah as to whether both Penny and
Mara are in fact “available” to be adopted?

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Deeper Layer

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… This one made my deeper layer, and the overall subtext, a little clearer. It did not make the deeper layer any deeper than what I have imagined it to be, because that does not fit my genre. Either way, it was a helpful assignment and helped to confirm and clarify the story, which is what all of the assignments so far have done. I think it is as deep as it should be.

Surface Layer:

Penny and Mara decide to stay in a huge shopping mall instead of going back to the orphanage.

Deeper Layer:

Penny is convinced that she will not be adopted and has decided that she is going to try to “live on her own”. (Needs to convince Mara to her way of thinking so that she can have a companion to make her ordeal easier.)

Major Reveal:

Is it when Penny leaves behind a note for Amanda upon leaving her place?

Or, when Mara defies Penny and is about to run to the store where Sarah works, Penny ‘lays down the law’ for Mara.

Influences Surface Story:

–Penny claims to Mara that it is too dangerous for kids to be venturing down the city street (reason for not leaving the mall and going back to the orphanage).

–Penny suggests to Mara that they could find parents here in the mall.

–Penny tries to ‘dominate’ Mara, influence her way of thinking.

–Penny leaves Amanda’s place.

Hints:

–Penny’s frequent claims and actions meant to keep them in the mall.

–Keeps a distance from Sarah as well as keeping Mara at a distance from her.

Changes Reality:

–Mara realizes that she is
stuck in the mall (she cannot just wander on her own as an 8-year-old) and that
she and Penny are fending for themselves in the world.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Character Structure

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… This one helps to keep the bigger picture in focus over everything else, which at this stage is wise. I find the character structures being in line with the movie structure to be an excellent guide for these big-picture decisions, and things fit together this way.

PENNY

Beginning: Just an orphan inside the walls like all the others. She obliviously starts a fire and has to escape! On the city street with another escaped orphan Mara, she enters a mega-mall down the street from the orphanage. On her own now!

Middle: She temporarily loses Mara and gets taken into a nice plush home (temporary) with a boozing wealthy lady.

End: Back at the orphanage, separated from Mara, until it looks like Sarah and her fiancé are going to adopt her…!

Inciting incident:

She starts a fire in the orphanage kitchen that gets out of control. Escapes out a window onto a street alley–and meets Mara.

Turning Point 1:

Penny and Mara enter the mega-big shopping mall….

Act 2:

She is committed to staying in the mall and not going back to the orphanage. It occurs to her that she and Mara could “find parents” here.

Midpoint (Turning Point 2):

Penny gets separated from Mara and moves into Amanda’s place.

Act 3:

Penny realizes that she wants to be together with Mara more than staying in a comfortable house and resolves, once she finds Mara again, that they will stick together no matter what.

Act 3 Turning Point:

She and Mara are caught and go back to the orphanage.

Climax (Act 4):

Penny finds Sarah in the orphanage. She waits in suspense as the girls find out if they will be adopted–and adopted together.

Resolution:

Penny gets a family…?

MARA

Beginning: She exits the orphanage during a fire and meets Penny, who also escaped. With Penny, she enters a huge shopping-mall, almost a world of its own.

Middle: She has the chance to go back to the orphanage but chooses to go back into the mall to be with Penny and take her chances on her own.

End: Back at the orphanage, she is about to be adopted, now separated from Penny.

Inciting Incident:

A fire in the orphanage causes her to escape. She meets fellow orphan Penny on the street outside.

Turning Point 1:

She and Penny enter the mega-big shopping mall….

Act 2:

Mara now must get oriented to her new, vast environment; deal with Penny’s dominating influence; figure out how to navigate and how to find the necessities for their survival, while avoiding being found out.

Midpoint (Turning Point 2):

She gets separated from Penny, finds her way out of the mall and out onto the street, and decides to not go back to the orphanage but to go back to find Penny.

Act 3:

Mara starts to re-think her whole attitude toward going back to the orphanage at all. Makes a pact with Penny that they will always be together.

Act 3 Turning Point:

The girls are caught and sent back to the orphanage.

Climax (Act 4):

Mara gets briefly reunited with Penny just before her impending adoption. Remembers her pact with Penny, so what will she do about this adoption about to be finalized?

Resolution:

Mara gets a family, including Penny too…?

SARAH (quasi-antagonist for a while)

Beginning: Working in the mall. Meeting with parents with whom she has a tense, antagonistic relationship — they are withholding a large trust fund from her until she has two children.

Middle: Realizes the orphans Penny and Mara are stealing her heart. Reveals to her fiancé how her parents are manipulating her and that because of that she is not going to have children with him. Splits from her fiancé.

End: Accepts fiancé back and convinces him to adopt Penny and Mara with her.

Inciting Incident:

Meets Penny and Mara.

Turning Point 1:

Fixes in her mind that Penny and Mara are probably on their own.

Act 2:

Considers giving in to her parents’ dictates, compounded by her fiance’s wish to have a family. Leaves the mall (gets another job).

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint:

Comes back to the mall in search of Penny and Mara. Doesn’t find them. (Maybe comes back a second time and spots Mara–realizes the two orphans are on their own.) Splits from her fiancé.

Act 3:

Reports to the orphanage she knows of two girls all on their own who seem to be stranded in the mall.

Turning Point 3:

Takes fiancé back after he agrees to not pressure her about a family. (Maybe she tells him that she wants to adopt Penny & Mara?)

Act 4 Climax:

In the orphanage she is told that Mara has prospective parents about to be finalized. As she is leaving, Penny sees her, runs to her, and tells her that she has to adopt her and Mara….

Resolution:

Her and fiancé adopt Penny and Mara…?

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Supporting Characters

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… This assignment was very helpful in allowing me to articulate just what value these characters have–and frankly it was a small joy. Each one has to serve the high concept and the journeys of the three lead characters, and I was pleased to discover that they do that. Just simply writing out the purpose and value helped to ‘birth’ these characters and make them more concrete. (Sometimes I found that the purpose and value blend and blur with each other.)

SUPPORTING CHARACTERS:

Headmistress of the orphanage, DAPHNE

Rich, boozing lady who takes Penny in, AMANDA

Sarah’s mother & father

Sarah’s fiancé

“Third orphan”, JESS

Orphanage chef, DANNY

Subterranean person or animal or monster-type thing

Possibly some on the trolley system

Fancy-restaurant staff

BACKGROUND CHARACTERS:

Various mall employees or people

Fancy-restaurant staff

Mall security staff

Assorted on the trolley system

DAPHNE

Role: Orphanage headmistress

Main purpose: To embody in one person the opposition that Penny & Mara face when the whole outside world is perceived as the opposition. Also to show that Penny is not just imagining a sense of opposition by showing that Daphne’s objective seems to be to keep the girls securely within the confines of the orphanage.

Value: Among all the other sources of antagonism to the girls’ journey, Daphne is a real form of opposition to Penny’s ( and later Mara’s) goal, however exaggerated it might seem to Penny.

AMANDA

Role: Wealthy lady who lives in the mall’s luxury apartments section and takes in Penny

Main purpose: To show that Penny wants Mara’s friendship more than she wants a parental figure (that is, a very flawed one) with a plush house.

Value: Right now, I cannot distinguish between the value and the purpose above.

SARAH’S MOTHER

Role: Mother of triangle character

Main purpose: Her aim of controlling her daughter’s life shapes her daughter’s values (to the opposite) as well as creating mental conflict about those values. This mental conflict drives Sarah’s feelings for Penny and Mara.

Value: Bringing into the story a set of character values that are drastically different from everyone else’s.

SARAH’S FATHER

Role: Father of triangle character

Main purpose: (Same as mother)

Value: Bringing into the story a set of character values that are drastically different from everyone else’s.

DANNY

Role: Chef at the orphanage

Main purpose: He clandestinely gives Penny cash as well as slipping her extra food. He is basically Penny’s buddy in the orphanage and boosts her physical well-being.

Value: Showing a ‘humane’ side to the orphanage and showing that Penny can actually trust adults.

JESS

Role: Orphan whom Mara bonds with after her and Penny’s experience in the mall

Main purpose: To create a source of conflict that promises to be potentially heart-breaking for the audience!

Value: When a barrier is thrown up between Penny and Mara, the introduction of Jess seems to portend that all is lost between the two girls!

SARAH’S FIANCE

Role: Triangle character’s fiancé

Main purpose: To complicate Sarah’s life even further, even though that is not his intent.

Value: He adds another source of complication in Sarah’s life because he pressures her about having children when she is determined to resist the wishes of her parents.

SUBTERRANEAN PERSON OR ANIMAL OR MONSTER-TYPE THING

Role:

Main purpose: Company for Mara when she is alone for a while that also gives her a deeper connection to the outside world

Value: A source for Mara’s more meaningful connection to people other than Penny and mall people

FANCY-RESTAURANT STAFF

Role:

Main purpose: Objects of Penny’s & Mara’s foils. Comic relief.

Value: The restaurant staff help to bring out Penny’s and Mara’s street skills and sense of mischief.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Character Profiles, Part 2

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a
screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual
movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter,
develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly
original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to
write.

PENNY

A. The High Concept: Two orphans escape from their orphanage during a fire and move into the country’s biggest shopping mall where they decide to find parents but realize that they really only need each other.

B. This character’s journey: From self-determined orphan who doesn’t believe she will be loved by good parents to accepting her need to want loving parents.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character:

What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

The character takes the most interesting actions in the movie; variety of fun and challenging situations; most satisfying character arc.

What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

Her attitude and viewpoint in an extraordinary situation and how she takes charge of her journey.

What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

Ordering dinner in a fancy restaurant (she is 8); acting as surrogate daughter to the lady who takes her in; seeking out parents in a shopping mall; sneaking into a home furnishing store to sleep in, then escaping in time the next morning; going all-out in a candy store and getting sick from eating too much.

How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

Showing her obliviously starting a fire in the orphanage kitchen, which becomes the reason for her escape, then turning her escape into a journey of taking charge of her own destiny.

What could be this character’s emotional range?

Sure to unsure to defiant to proud to deflated to elated.

What subtext can the actor play?

She thinks she wants parents, then thinks she doesn’t need parents

What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With her fellow orphan Mara, toward whom she acts as leader and partner in their survival adventure; with a rich, boozing lady who takes her into her home for a while; with the mall employee whom she and Mara believe is their ideal candidate to adopt them.

How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

Mainly in the way she takes command of her situation; her maturity for her age and her outlook.

What could make this character special and unique?

Sophisticated self-assurance for an eight-year-old; a sense of outlook or worldview; seemingly fearless; always eating or hungry; take-charge sense of destiny.

1. Role in the Story:

Orphan who escapes during a fire and decides to try to survive in a huge shopping mall instead of going back, and also acts as leader to a companion orphan, whom she also needs to better her own chances of survival.

2. Age range and Description:

Eight. Mature, tough, always eating, and fond of ribbons in her hair and anything that will add some color and life to her orphan’s wardrobe.

3. Core Traits:

Street-wise, daring, skeptical, very smart, sassy

4. Motivation; Want/Need:

Penny WANTS to take charge of her own life, but she NEEDS to accept that one day she will have a loving family despite all odds.

5. Wound: What they can’t face:

She will never have parents or never be loved.

6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy:

Likability: She is whip-smart, sassy, daring, and somehow almost worldly-wise.

Relatability: Remembering the stifled or thwarted desires of when we were kids. Understand what it is like to feel alone or helpless at times.

Empathy:
An orphan–that is almost automatic empathy. Has determination to take charge of her own destiny.

7. Character Subtext:

Penny is a bright and shrewd orphan who does not believe that having loving parents is something that will happen to her.

8. Character Intrigue:

HIDDEN AGENDA: To convince Mara to her way of thinking in order to have someone she can control to a degree, but also to have a like-minded companion–‘us against the world’.

(Also: How has she come to have the viewpoints that she has? How so seemingly worldly-wise?)

9. Flaw:

Untrusting, unbelieving

10. Values:

Self-sufficiency

11. Character Dilemma:

Wanting to be tough but needing to allow the prospect of loving parents in her life.

MARA

A. The High Concept: Two orphans escape from their orphanage during a fire and move into the country’s biggest shopping mall where they decide to find parents but realize that they really only need each other.

B. This character’s journey: From introverted orphan waiting for the perfect parents to rescue her to a free spirit who believes in herself.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character:

What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

The emotional range combined with the variety of actions the character takes and fun and challenging situations she is in. Also unique voice and growth.

What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

Special skills and traits which are brought out in the most challenging of situations. Also her relationship with the other lead.

What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

Using her excellent sense of direction to navigate and explore her huge and challenging environment; attempt to brave the city streets all by herself for a while; making friends with a down-and-out subterranean dweller.

How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

By showing her in a unique situation that immediately propels her into her journey and using her most interesting traits in that situation.

What could be this character’s emotional range?

Overwhelmed to proud of herself, afraid to thrilled to loving.

What subtext can the actor play?

?

What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With her fellow orphan and co-protagonist Penny where she is first in a sort of subordinate role and then one as equal partner and loving friend; and with the mall employee whom she and Penny believe is their ideal candidate to adopt them.

How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

Through the gradual development of her independent personality in a hard situation, her special skill, and how she adapts.

What could make this character special and unique?

Her special skill (excellent sense of direction) and the way she evolves in her hard situation.

1. Role in the Story:

Orphan who escapes during a fire and comes under the wing of fellow orphan Penny in a huge shopping mall where they have taken refuge. Penny asserts herself over Mara, taking charge of her destiny, and Mara must find her own voice and go after her desires, with or without Penny.

2. Age range and Description:

Eight. Goggle-eyed, obedient, and dignified, with a knack for quietly assessing the world around her.

3. Core Traits:

Super sense of direction, introvert, dreamer

4. Motivation; Want/Need:

Mara WANTS an ideal life with a family but NEEDS to embrace a sense of adventure and a belief in herself as an independent spirit.

5. Wound: What they can’t face:

That she is a permanent outcast.

6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy:

Likability: Sweet and vulnerable. Her refined skill of a great sense of direction is admirable.

Relatability: Same as Penny above, plus the understanding of what it is like to be under someone else’s influence.

Empathy: An orphan–that is almost automatic empathy. She seems totally out of her element for a while and we want her to survive and thrive. We sense that her less-assertive personality is waiting to blossom and help her create her happy destiny.

7. Character Subtext:

Mara is an outwardly shy orphan who is waiting for special parents to help her come into her own and discover that she is a great kid. Until then, she cannot fully appreciate her own specialness in the world.

8. Character Intrigue:

9. Flaw:

Too cautious, maybe a little unimaginative

10. Values:

Belief in a better future

11. Character Dilemma:

Wanting the perfect parents versus embracing her own place in the world.

SARAH

A. The High Concept: Two orphans escape from their orphanage during a fire and move into the country’s biggest shopping mall where they decide to find parents but realize that they really only need each other.

B. This character’s journey: From subordinating her own happiness to her parents’ desires to going after her own desires and being inspired to love by two orphans.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character:

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

The rich subtext involved in a character who stifles her own desires to serve the will of selfish parents and finally breaks free because of love inspired by two orphans.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

First she fails to go after what she wants because of her partner and then decides to pursue her own desire as a result of her interaction with Penny and Mara, even if it means letting go of her partner.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

She tries her hardest to talk the orphanage “head mistress” into relaxing the rules for adoption; goes on an elaborate search for Penny and Mara in the vast mall; how she responds to her parents’ wishes.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

By bringing out her predominant subtext in an initial situation which foreshadows her relationship with Penny and Mara….

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?

Wistful to indecisive to decisive to surrendering to depressed to joyful.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

She wants to break free from the wishes and influence of her fiancé while also loving him; wants to be a mother; deep down feels that she wants to be the mother of Penny and Mara.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With Penny and Mara and her parents. The first, relating to the subtext above as well as her actions on behalf of Penny & Mara, and the second also relating to the subtext above and the decisions she makes in regard to her relationship.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

?

9. What could make this character special and unique?

?

1. Role in the Story:

Sarah is an employee of the mall where the two orphans have moved into and whose sense of subservience to her parents and a need to love children of her own are brought out by the two orphans.

2. Age range and Description:

Around 30-32. Outwardly upright, respectable, even stuffy, but inwardly rebellious and resentful of her family.

3. Core Traits:

Frustrated, drifting, yearning

4. Motivation; Want/Need:

She WANTS the money from her parents and also their respect but NEEDS to follow her own desires and needs the love of Penny and Mara.

5. Wound: What they can’t face:

Her parents (or maybe just her father) only care for her or love her in respect to her ability to provide them grandchildren.

6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy

Likability: Rebellious personality under the obedient exterior.

Relatability: Caught in a classic dilemma of having to do something we don’t want to do in order to get something we really want.

Empathy: She has allowed her parents to determine her happiness, and an audience would root for her to break free from that. The audience can also understand how the charms of the two orphans Penny and Mara inspire her to finally go after her own desires.

7. Character Subtext:

Her sense of love for or a wish for a family of her own is created by her parents and distorted by money, and she is trying to sort out her real feelings.

8. Character Intrigue:

UNSPOKEN WOUND: She has always felt unloved by her parents and unworthy, because they have made her feel that her worth depends on her ability to provide grandchildren for them.

COMPETITION: Her sibling has a lovely family with two kids, and she is in competition with him/her, not only for her parents’ esteem but because her parents are withholding a large cash trust fund from her until she has not one but two kids.

9. Flaw:

Craves the respect of her family.

10. Values:

Earning money honestly / by hard work; genuineness; relationships

11. Character Dilemma:

Earning the respect of her parents versus loving her
own family (if one comes) on her own terms, genuinely.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Character Profiles, Part 1

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a
screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual
movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter,
develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to
write.

What I learned doing this assignment… This assignment gave me some breakthroughs, which I I am thrilled about–particularly with my triangle character, who has needed some essential depth that was nagging at me (granted, it is still early in the process). That depth came from events behind the Wound and the Want & Need which popped into my imagination by way of this assignment. Also, the assignment was quite effective in adding yet more layers to the other two leads which I think are good and which had not come out until now but which, looking back, were lurking below the surface. Thanks, Assignment!

PENNY

A. The High Concept: Two orphans escape from their orphanage during a fire and move into the country’s biggest shopping mall where they decide to find parents but realize that they really only need each other.

B. This character’s journey: From self-determined orphan who doesn’t believe she will be loved by good parents to accepting her need to want loving parents.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character:

What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

The character takes the most interesting actions in the movie; variety of fun and challenging situations; most satisfying character arc.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

Her attitude and viewpoint in an extraordinary situation and how she takes charge of her journey.

What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

Ordering dinner in a fancy restaurant (she is 8); acting as surrogate daughter to the lady who takes her in; seeking out parents in a shopping mall; sneaking into a home furnishing store to sleep in, then escaping in time the next morning; going all-out in a candy store and getting sick from eating too much.

How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

Showing her obliviously starting a fire in the orphanage kitchen, which becomes the reason for her escape, then turning her escape into a journey of taking charge of her own destiny.

What could be this character’s emotional range?

Sure to unsure to defiant to proud to deflated to elated.

What subtext can the actor play?

She thinks she wants parents, then thinks she doesn’t need parents

What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With her fellow orphan Mara, toward whom she acts as leader and partner in their survival adventure; with a rich, boozing lady who takes her into her home for a while; with the mall employee whom she and Mara believe is their ideal candidate to adopt them.

How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

Mainly in the way she takes command of her situation; her maturity for her age and her outlook.

What could make this character special and unique?

Sophisticated self-assurance for
an eight-year-old; a sense of outlook or worldview; seemingly fearless; always
eating or hungry; take-charge sense of destiny.

1. Role in the Story:

Orphan who escapes during a fire and decides to try to survive in a huge shopping mall instead of going back, and also acts as leader to a companion orphan, whom she also needs to better her own chances of survival.

2. Age range and Description:

Eight. Mature, tough, always eating, and fond of ribbons in her hair and anything that will add some color and life to her orphan’s wardrobe.

3. Core Traits:

Street-wise, daring, skeptical, very smart, sassy

4. Motivation; Want/Need:

Penny WANTS to take charge of her own life, but she NEEDS to accept that one day she will have a loving family despite all odds.

5. Wound: What they can’t face:

She will never have parents or never be loved.

6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy:

Likability: She is whip-smart, sassy, daring, and somehow almost worldly-wise.

Relatability: Remembering the stifled or thwarted desires of when we were kids. Understand what it is like to feel alone or helpless at times.

Empathy:
An orphan–that is almost automatic empathy. Has determination to take charge
of her own destiny.

MARA

A. The High Concept: Two orphans escape from their orphanage during a fire and move into the country’s biggest shopping mall where they decide to find parents but realize that they really only need each other.

B. This character’s journey: From introverted orphan waiting for the perfect parents to rescue her to a free spirit who believes in herself.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character:

What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

The emotional range combined with the variety of actions the character takes and fun and challenging situations she is in. Also unique voice and growth.

What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

Special skills and traits which are brought out in the most challenging of situations. Also her relationship with the other lead.

What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

Using her excellent sense of direction to navigate and explore her huge and challenging environment; attempt to brave the city streets all by herself for a while; making friends with a down-and-out subterranean dweller.

How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

By showing her in a unique situation that immediately propels her into her journey and using her most interesting traits in that situation.

What could be this character’s emotional range?

Overwhelmed to proud of herself, afraid to thrilled to loving.

What subtext can the actor play?

?

What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With her fellow orphan and co-protagonist Penny where she is first in a sort of subordinate role and then one as equal partner and loving friend; and with the mall employee whom she and Penny believe is their ideal candidate to adopt them.

How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

Through the gradual development of her independent personality in a hard situation, her special skill, and how she adapts.

What could make this character special and unique?

Her special skill (excellent sense of direction) and the way she evolves in her hard situation.

1. Role in the Story:

Orphan who escapes during a fire and comes under the wing of fellow orphan Penny in a huge shopping mall where they have taken refuge. Penny asserts herself over Mara, taking charge of her destiny, and Mara must find her own voice and go after her desires, with or without Penny.

2. Age range and Description:

Eight. Goggle-eyed, obedient, and dignified, with a knack for quietly assessing the world around her.

3. Core Traits:

Super sense of direction, introvert, dreamer

4. Motivation; Want/Need:

Mara WANTS an ideal life with a family but NEEDS to embrace a sense of adventure and a belief in herself as an independent spirit.

5. Wound: What they can’t face:

That she is a permanent outcast.

6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy:

Likability: Sweet and vulnerable. Her refined skill of a great sense of direction is admirable.

Relatability: Same as Penny above, plus the understanding of what it is like to be under someone else’s influence.

Empathy: An orphan–that is almost automatic empathy. She seems totally out of her element for a while and we want her to survive and thrive. We sense that her less-assertive personality is waiting to blossom and help her create her happy destiny.

SARAH

A. The High Concept: Two orphans escape from their orphanage during a fire and move into the country’s biggest shopping mall where they decide to find parents but realize that they really only need each other.

B. This character’s journey: From subordinating her own happiness to her parents’ desires to going after her own desires and being inspired to love by two orphans.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character:

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

The rich subtext involved in a character who stifles her own desires to serve the will of selfish parents and finally breaks free because of love inspired by two orphans.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

First she fails to go after what she wants because of her partner and then decides to pursue her own desire as a result of her interaction with Penny and Mara, even if it means letting go of her partner.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

She tries her hardest to talk the orphanage “head mistress” into relaxing the rules for adoption; goes on an elaborate search for Penny and Mara in the vast mall; how she responds to her parents’ wishes.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

By bringing out her predominant subtext in an initial situation which foreshadows her relationship with Penny and Mara….

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?

Wistful to indecisive to decisive to surrendering to depressed to joyful.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

She wants to break free from the wishes and influence of her fiancé while also loving him; wants to be a mother; deep down feels that she wants to be the mother of Penny and Mara.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With Penny and Mara and her parents. The first, relating to the subtext above as well as her actions on behalf of Penny & Mara, and the second also relating to the subtext above and the decisions she makes in regard to her relationship.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

?

9. What could make this character special and unique?

?

1. Role in the Story:

Sarah is an employee of the mall where the two orphans have moved into and whose sense of subservience to her parents and a need to love children of her own are brought out by the two orphans.

2. Age range and Description:

Around 30-32. Outwardly upright, respectable, even stuffy, but inwardly rebellious and resentful of her family.

3. Core Traits:

Frustrated, drifting, yearning

4. Motivation; Want/Need:

She WANTS the money from her parents and also their respect but NEEDS to follow her own desires and needs the love of Penny and Mara.

5. Wound: What they can’t face:

Her parents (or maybe just her father) only care for her or love her in respect to her ability to provide them grandchildren.

6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy

Likability: Rebellious personality under the obedient exterior.

Relatability: Caught in a classic dilemma of having to do something we don’t want to do in order to get something we really want.

Empathy: She has allowed her parents to determine her happiness, and an audience would root for her to break free from that. The audience can also understand how the charms of the two orphans Penny and Mara inspire her to finally go after her own desires.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Likability-Relatability-Empathy

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a
screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual
movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter,
develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to
write.

What I learned doing this assignment… This is an important one and fleshed out the characters yet a little more. Empathy of course adds the most depth, and if empathy is the only thing that can be determined right now, that is the most important.

PENNY

Likability: She is whip-smart, sassy, daring, and somehow almost worldly-wise.

Relatability: Remembering the stifled or thwarted desires of when we were kids. Understand what it is like to feel alone or helpless at times.

Empathy: An orphan–that is almost automatic empathy. Has determination to take charge of her own destiny.

MARA

Likability: Sweet and vulnerable. Her refined skill of a great sense of direction is admirable.

Relatability: Same as Mara above, plus the understanding of what it is like to be under someone else’s influence.

Empathy: An orphan–that is almost automatic empathy. She seems totally out of her element for a while and we want her to survive and thrive. We sense that her less-assertive personality is waiting to blossom and help her create her happy destiny.

DAPHNE (one of multi-Antagonist)

Likability: Shows a capacity to change her viewpoint and attitude.

Relatability: The competing needs within us to both do what is right and to advance ourselves, even if that means doing things that are less than admirable to get there.

Empathy: She is responsible for the livelihoods of young children–two of whom are now missing! Self-serving yet also with a noble purpose (which comes out later).

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Subtext Characters

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a
screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual
movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter,
develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly
original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to
write.

What I learned doing this assignment… It seemed deceptively simple or basic on the surface, but I learned how valuable it really is, because it gave me a couple of breakthroughs: one, in obviously showing me a little more depth to the characters and to their motivations, and the other in more depth to their relationship, all of which I had a sense of first, but after the assignment, these became more concrete.

Movie Title: MATILDA

Character Name: Matilda Wormwood

Subtext Identity: The unloved child genius

Subtext Trait: willful

Subtext Logline: Matilda is a child genius who has an unusual gift and needs to break free from the stifling influence of her family.

Possible Areas of Subtext:

Character Name: PENNY

Subtext Identity: The lonely and scheming orphan

Subtext Trait: <s>Tough, resilient,</s> Suspicious, disbelieving

Subtext Logline: Penny is a bright and shrewd orphan who does not believe that having loving parents is something that will happen to her.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Won’t consider the idea of going back to the orphanage. Keeping a distance from Sarah. Asserts herself over Mara. Becomes sad when Mara bonds with another kid. Ultimately unsatisfied with plush new digs when taken in by rich boozing lady.

Character Name: MARA

Subtext Identity: The patient orphan

Subtext Trait: Waiting to seize an opportunity

Subtext Logline: Mara is an outwardly shy orphan who is waiting for special parents to help her come into her own and discover that she is a great kid.

Possible Areas of Subtext: She gets the chance to go back to the orphanage while separated from Penny (What will she do?). She doesn’t like the orphanage either and so also second-guesses her wish to get Sarah into their lives. Ironically, she does not grasp the opportunity before her once inside the mall and under Penny’s “direction”.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Actor Attractors

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… Filling in these actor attractors helped add depth to both the characters and the characters’ relationships. Also, my initial answers feel good as a guide, but I know I should not be rigid about them once the writing starts.

Lead Character Name: MARA

Role: Protagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

The emotional range combined with the variety of actions the character takes and fun and challenging situations she is in. Also unique voice and growth.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

Special skills and traits which are brought out in the most challenging of situations. Also her relationship with the other lead.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

Using her excellent sense of direction to navigate and explore her huge and challenging environment; attempt to brave the city streets all by herself for a while; making friends with a down-and-out subterranean dweller.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

By showing her in a unique situation that immediately propels her into her journey and using her most interesting traits in that situation.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?

Overwhelmed to proud of herself, afraid to thrilled to loving.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

?

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With her fellow orphan and co-protagonist Penny where she is first in a sort of subordinate role and then one as equal partner and loving friend; and with the mall employee whom she and Penny believe is their ideal candidate to adopt them.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

Through the gradual development of her independent personality in a hard situation, her special skill, and how she adapts.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

Her special skill (excellent sense of direction) and the way she evolves in her hard situation.

Lead Character Name: PENNY

Role: Protagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

The character takes the most interesting actions in the movie; variety of fun and challenging situations; most satisfying character arc.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

Her attitude and viewpoint in an extraordinary situation and how she takes charge of her journey.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

Ordering dinner in a fancy restaurant (she is 8); acting as surrogate daughter to the lady who takes her in; seeking out parents in a shopping mall; sneaking into a home furnishing store to sleep in, then escaping in time the next morning; going all-out in a candy store and getting sick from eating too much.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

Showing her obliviously starting a fire in the orphanage kitchen, which becomes the reason for her escape, then turning her escape into a journey of taking charge of her own destiny.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?

Sure to unsure to defiant to proud to deflated to elated.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

She thinks she wants parents, then thinks she doesn’t need parents

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With her fellow orphan Mara, toward whom she acts as leader and partner in their survival adventure; with a rich, boozing lady who takes her into her home for a while; with the mall employee whom she and Mara believe is their ideal candidate to adopt them.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

Mainly in the way she takes command of her situation; her maturity for her age and her outlook.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

Sophisticated self-assurance for an eight-year-old; a sense of outlook or worldview; seemingly fearless; always eating or hungry; take-charge sense of destiny.

Lead Character Name: SARAH

Role: Triangle character

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

?

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

First she fails to go after what she wants because of her partner and then decides to pursue her own desire as a result of her interaction with Penny and Mara, even if it means letting go of her partner.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

She tries her hardest to talk the orphanage “head mistress” into relaxing the rules for adoption; goes on an elaborate search for Penny and Mara in the vast mall; how she responds to her fiance’s wishes.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

By bringing out her predominant subtext in an initial situation which foreshadows her relationship with Penny and Mara….

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?

Wistful to indecisive to decisive to surrendering to depressed to joyful.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

She wants to break free from the wishes and influence of her fiancé while also loving him; wants to be a mother; deep down feels that she wants to be the mother of Penny and Mara.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With Penny and Mara and her fiancé. The first, relating to the subtext above as well as her actions on behalf of Penny & Mara, and the second also relating to the subtext above and the decisions she makes in regard to her relationship.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

?

9. What could make this character special and unique?

?

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Actor Attractors for MATILDA

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter, which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment…Well, I was a little “in the weeds” here, because my best movie model and character does not have a big-name actor and is only a semi-well-known movie. But I had to go with it, because it is the best match to both my genre and my dual leads. This was a little more challenging and in-depth than it seems at a glance. The best thing I learned here is that until you can answer each of these questions with some depth, there is more knowledge and understanding needed in order to develop a lead character to the point where a great actor wants to play it.

Movie: MATILDA

Lead Character Name: Matilda Wormwood

1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?

It is the title character; does the most interesting things in the movie; is the character that has the most important and interesting arc; has funny and endearing traits; has emotional range; and is clearly the most stand-out character of the whole cast.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?

She has a formidable gift which she must discover on her own and then learn how to use it in the best ways. Her circumstances are constantly challenging and bring out her wit, her abilities, and opportunities to adapt and grow. Also, she is a young child who is forced to take on only grown-ups.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?

“Breaks into” her evil principal’s house; explodes her parents’ TV; calls her dad a “crook” to his face; uses her “gift” to imitate the actions of a ghost, freaking out her evil principal; encourages and helps her teacher to do what she needs to in order to be happy; moves out of her parents’ house at the age of 7.

4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?

She is introduced with another character’s perception of her that builds intrigue, and is then shown to be an amazing child prodigy.

5. What is this character’s emotional range?

Delight, spirit of fun and adventure, irritation, consternation, resolve to fight, humor, anger

6. What subtext can the actor play?

Struggle and determination to rise above her stifling circumstances—as well as the knowledge that she possesses a spirit that is different from everyone else.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?

With her teacher, who knows what Matilda is and is the only one who appreciates her.

8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?

–In each of her interactions with her parents and her home life by showing how she responds to her seemingly impossible situation (with humor, frustration, and coping)

–by using her gift responsibly to help herself rather than using it to get back at her parents

–in her relationship with her teacher, where her other traits come out

–traits of genius, sweetness, and unusual determination for a 6-year-old

–actions motivated by desire

9. What makes this character special and unique?

She is a child prodigy with a gift of telekinesis and with parents who do not appreciate her nor understand her and who has a spirit of determination to find someone who understands her and find a better life. Also, she is a different sort of underdog.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Genre Conventions

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… This was deceptively tricky in that the majority of my comedy conventions are in between the plot points, in scenes and details. But still, I did as best as I could to add a little more into the major structure points. My genre is a combo genre, and the drama elements define a lot of the plot points, so it was a bit of a challenge to see if adding the comedy to the structure could be done without seeming forced or out of place.

Title: PENNY & MARA MOVE TO THE MALL

Concept: Two orphans escape from their orphanage during a fire and move into the country’s biggest shopping mall where they decide to find parents, realize that they only need each other, and then face losing each other forever when back at the orphanage one of them is going to be adopted.

Genre: Family comedy (or is it a family-‘dramedy’?), with an adventure element

Comedy conventions:

–Purpose: Entertain the audience with a story packed full of laughter-inducing moments.

–Incongruence: Penny and Mara decide to “move into” a huge shopping–and they are going to be the ones to find their parents, not the other way around! Two 8-year-olds attempting to take charge of their destinies as independent people.

–Mechanics of comedy: There is sight and prop humor; “fishes out of water” for sure; incongruent situations and relationships; and absurd situations.

–Comedic protagonists: Penny’s asserts her brazen ways on everyone she comes into contact with and leads herself and Mara into amusing situations, not mention a certain element of danger.

–Strong story: This will be suspenseful and a tear-jerker without a doubt, showing deep relationships between the dual protagonists and the triangle character.

Act 1

Opening:

Penny sneaks into the kitchen at the orphanage, looking for the kindly chef who always slips her extra food. The chef is not around at the moment, but the burner is on with oil simmering….

Inciting incident:

With endearing clumsiness, Penny accidentally starts a fire (of course oblivious to it)! The fire becomes a large blaze, and Penny escapes through a window–and finds Mara in the alley too, having also escaped by herself.

Turning point:

Penny and Mara enter the mega-big mall…. It is a world of its own, like a small city in itself and containing practically everything that both kids and adults could need! Freedom!

Act 2

New plan:

Penny and Mara now must get oriented to their new, vast environment, figure out how to navigate and how to find the necessities for their survival, while avoiding being found out. But first, the candy store, toy store, and rides on the super-trolley system…! Able to sniff out a submissive personality, Penny asserts her “leadership” over Mara.

Midpoint turning point:

Penny and Mara get separated, and Sarah leaves the mall (gets a new job).

Act 3

Re-think everything:

Mara’s chance to go back to the orphanage has come, but she now doubts that she wants to break away from Penny and starts to re-think her whole attitude toward going back to the orphanage. Penny now being relatively secure after having been taken in by the wealthy, boozing, man-hungry lady realizes that she needs Mara and becomes convinced that they can be OK on their own as long as they can be together.

New plan:

Mara’s plan is simply to forget the orphanage and find Penny again, using all the wiles and survival skills she has learned from Penny. Penny decides to leave the wealthy boozing lady’s place and find Mara.

Turning point:

The girls are found and taken back to the orphanage!

Act 4

Climax:

Mara is on the cusp of being adopted (while Penny is not). Penny and Mara have one last moment together, holding onto each other for dear life. Mara’s prospective adoptive parents waver, not able to bear the girls being separated, but it wouldn’t matter, because Mara refuses the adoption. Neither of the girls have known it, but Sarah and her fiancé have also been in the orphanage trying to work out an adoption but were told that Mara has already gotten parents. Penny is led out of the office and spots Sarah about to exit the building. She yells after her and runs after her!

Resolution:

Sarah and fiancé adopt Penny and Mara ??? Penny and Mara give Sarah and her Fiance pointers on how to raise kids.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s 4-Act Transformational Structure

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a
screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual
movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter,
develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly
original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to
write.

What I learned doing this assignment… I re-learned that this assignment brings the story to life piece-by-piece! It was pretty thrilling doing this, and just creating the basic plot points also brought to my imagination the events leading up to them and following them.

CONCEPT: Two orphans escape from their orphanage during a fire and move into the country’s biggest shopping mall where they decide to find parents, realize that they only need each other, then face losing each other forever when back at the orphanage one of them is going to be adopted.

MAIN CONFLICT: Penny and Mara must survive in their environment as children with no parents and no home while also avoiding being caught and sent back to the orphanage.

(Penny)

Old Ways: Tough with a protective shell / Doesn’t need anybody / Wary of the grown-up world

New Ways: Accepts love / Strong and believes in herself and in the love of the world

(Mara)

Old Ways: Timid / Afraid / Subordinate to Penny / Needs more imagination

New Ways: Assertive / Sure of herself and her place in the world / Loves Penny

Act 1

Opening:

Penny sneaks into the kitchen at the orphanage, looking for the kindly chef who always slips her extra food. The chef is not around at the moment, but the burner is on with oil simmering….

Inciting incident:

…Penny accidentally starts a fire (not knowing)! The fire becomes a large blaze, and Penny escapes through a window–and finds Mara in the alley too, having also escaped by herself.

Turning point:

Penny and Mara enter the mega-big mall….

Act 2

New plan:

Penny and Mara now must get oriented to their new, vast environment, figure out how to navigate and how to find the necessities for their survival, while avoiding being found out.

Midpoint turning point:

Penny
and Mara get separated, and Sarah leaves the mall (gets a new job).

Act 3

Re-think everything:

Mara’s chance to go back to the orphanage has come, but she now doubts that she wants to break away from Penny and starts to re-think her whole attitude toward going back to the orphanage. Penny now being relatively secure after having been taken in by the wealthy, boozing lady realizes that she needs Mara and becomes convinced that they can be OK on their own as long as they can be together.

New plan:

Mara’s plan is simply to forget the orphanage and find Penny again, using all the wiles and survival skills she has learned from Penny. Penny decides to leave the wealthy boozing lady’s place and find Mara.

Turning point:

The
girls are found and taken back to the orphanage!

Act 4

Climax:

Mara is on the cusp of being adopted (while Penny is not). Penny and Mara have one last moment together, holding onto each other for dear life. Mara’s prospective adoptive parents waver, not able to bear the girls being separated, but it wouldn’t matter, because Mara refuses the adoption. Neither of the girls have known it, but Sarah and her fiancé have also been in the orphanage trying to work out an adoption but were told that Mara has already gotten parents. Penny is led out of the office and spots Sarah about to exit the building. She yells after her and runs after her!

Resolution:

Sarah and fiancé adopt Penny and Mara ???

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Subtext Plot

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… My story does not neatly assume the subtext plots, but in essence two of them are on the mark. I also learned that if you already have a strong grasp of your story that the subtext plots can be understood in looser terms than the way they are defined here, but if the subtext elements of your story are still forming , then these subtext plots serve as a very useful guide. Some of the plots seem to be relevant to only a couple of genres.

CONCEPT: Two orphans escape from their orphanage during a fire and move into the country’s biggest shopping mall where they decide to find parents, realize that they only need each other, and face losing each other forever when back at the orphanage one of them is going to be adopted.

Fish(es) out of Water and Competitive Agendas

Clearly the girls, orphans, being eight years old and moving into a huge shopping mall after living in an orphanage, are thrust into a completely new situation and are fishes out of water. The external journey is an obvious fish-out-of-water situation which requires some Hiding Who They Are subtext, since the girls need to cover up in the adult world that they are away from the orphanage and now essentially taking residence in the mall. Among themselves, Penny and Mara have competitive agendas, with Penny wanting to direct what they do to serve her own wishes and Mara wanting the opposite, for a while (to go back to the orphanage). Then as a duo, they have competing agendas with the entire adult world, wanting and needing to do things their own way, while everyone else clearly is potentially against them (from their point of view).

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Transformational Journeys

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… This assignment opened up my characters’ stories to the next level, and the exciting part about completing this is that the journeys that I laid out, even though they are rough or ‘first draft’, feel right, like a crucial piece of the puzzle has been completed (for now).

PENNY

Arc beginning: Tough and doesn’t believe that having loving parents is something that she can have.

Arc ending: Allows herself to accept her wish to be loved and wanted.

Internal journey: From disbelieving and distrusting to letting her guard down and accepting loving parents in her life.

External journey: From an orphan thrust into a survival situation to a strong kid who can take care of herself and Mara too.

Old Ways: Tough with a protective shell / Doesn’t need anybody / Wary of the grown-up world

New Ways: Accepts love / Strong and believes in herself and in the love of the world

MARA

Arc beginning: She struggles to assert her own desires against Penny’s taking charge of both of their destinies.

Arc ending: Discovers her own strength in response to Penny’s more dominant personality and comes to develop an adult-like sense of confidence.

Internal journey: From being afraid of her cast-away situation with little confidence in her abilities to embracing the adventure and finding confidence in herself.

External journey: From a scared orphan thrust into a survival situation to thriving in the adventure.

Old Ways: Timid / Afraid / Subordinate to Penny / Needs more imagination

New Ways: Assertive / Sure of herself and her place in the world / Loves Penny

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Intentional Lead Characters

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter, causing me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my screenplays, and to become wealthy as ascreenwriter, develop relationships where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… I almost included the transformational journey but then realized that is not the same as what this lesson is, so here I learned how to distinguish making the characters intentional and serving the concept from their transformational journey. This difference reinforced for me how to understand the many different aspects of character.

PROTAGONIST #1: PENNY is an 8-year-old orphan who first learns how to survive and then decides to find parents for herself when thrust into a situation of being helpless and on her own (–or almost on her own).

UNIQUE: An eight-year-old who quickly learns how to survive and also be like a leader to another young kid.

PROTAGONIST #2: MARA is also an 8-year-old orphan also thrust into a situation of being helpless and on her own (–or almost on her own) and just wants to go back to the orphanage until she learns how to survive with the help of Penny.

UNIQUE: A young kid who develops an adult-like sense of confidence with the help of another young kid.

TRIANGLE CHARACTER: SARAH is a mall employee who seems to be the obvious candidate to become Penny & Mara’s adoptive mother but who has more than one substantial obstacle preventing it.

UNIQUE: A young woman who does the right thing against what she would rather do and also pursues what she wants at the expense of what makes her happy.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Title, Concept, and Character Structure

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a
screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual
movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter,
develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly
original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to
write.

What I learned doing this assignment… This is what it feels like to make the momentous decision of what to write.

Title: PENNY & MARA MOVE TO THE MALL

Concept: Two orphans escape from their orphanage during a
fire and move into the country’s biggest shopping mall where they decide to
find parents, realize that they only need each other, and face losing each
other forever when back at the orphanage one of them is going to be adopted.

Character structure: Buddy movie

[Erik Wooten]

Hi, great writers, I am Erik Wooten, I have written three and a half screenplays and have taken a few courses with Screenwriting U, all of which were excellent. From this class I hope to elevate my writing to the best it has ever been but also in the process to achieve the ideal balance between my vision for the new script and high marketability, and even high commercialism. Also, to revive the genre into which my story fits! Best wishes to everyone here….

[Erik Wooten]

Erik Wooten

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of Writing Incredible Movies, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, through social media, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, videos, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[Erik Wooten]

Hi Eclipse– are you still seeking feedback? I would be happy to exchange with you. I will be posting mine by this evening, or possibly tomorrow at the latest. I will give feedback by messaging, if that is good with you.

-Erik

[Erik Wooten]

OK, thanks! And if we want to use the messaging I guess we have to do the connection request first.

[Erik Wooten]

Thanks Lori. I am guessing you got my message back to you….