[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Character Profiles Part 2

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how adding Character Subtext, Character Intrigue, Flaws, Values, and a Character Dilemma can add depth to my main characters. Doing so will have my characters deliver their part of the story powerfully, attract actors, and become multi-dimensional.

Here are the current full character profiles for my protagonist and antagonist:

Character Profile: Eleanor “Rose” Turner
1. Role in the Story: Protagonist, leader of the “Shadows of Justice”
2. Age range and Description: 21, blonde hair, striking blue eyes, innocent yet determined.
3. Core Traits: Intellectual, tenderfoot, leader, determined.
4. Motivation; Want/Need:
o Want: Vengeance for her father's murder and to bring the killer to justice.
o Need: To reconcile with her family/mom and maintain her humanity.
5. Wound: Guilt for not being there for her parents while at school, leading to an internal struggle to maintain her humanity in her quest for vengeance.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
o Likability: Heroic deeds, deep care for her best friends.
o Relatability: Balances college life struggles with being a fish out of water in the wild west.
o Empathy: Her father’s brutal murder and the overwhelming task of seeking justice.
7. Character Subtext:
o Subtext Identity: Refined college student turned avenger.
o Subtext Trait: Fear of losing her humanity while seeking vengeance.
o Subtext Logline: A refined intellectual hiding a growing fear of being consumed by vengeance.
8. Character Intrigue:
o Hidden Agenda: Beneath her leadership, she envisions herself as a silent guardian of justice, burdened by maintaining her moral integrity.
9. Flaw: Struggles with an internal issue of guilt and the potential loss of her humanity, which could sabotage her success.
10. Values: Believes in justice, friendship, family, and the sanctity of human life.
11. Character Dilemma: Torn between her quest for vengeance (risking her humanity) and her inherent need to protect and save lives.

Character Profile: Calvin Stone
1. Role in the Story: Antagonist, leader of an outlaw gang.
2. Age range and Description: Late 20s, extremely charismatic, dresses to impress.
3. Core Traits: Greed, clean-freak, cunning, ruthless.
4. Motivation; Want/Need:
o Want: Power, control, and personal wealth at any cost.
o Need: Desperately seeks respect and a semblance of the family he never had.
5. Wound: Abandonment at birth by his mother, leading to a lifelong desire for the family he lacked.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
o Likability: Charismatic and charming, especially when trying to manipulate others.
o Relatability: Desire for power and control, aversion to dirt reflecting a need for order.
o Empathy: Grew up poor without his birth mother, fostering an understanding of his ruthless drive.
7. Character Subtext:
o Subtext Identity: Ruthless outlaw leader with hidden vulnerability.
o Subtext Trait: Fear of losing control and being exposed as a pawn in a larger political game.
o Subtext Logline: A ruthless leader who secretly fears being exposed as a mere pawn.
8. Character Intrigue:
o Hidden Agenda: Secret plan to eliminate his higher political connections once he has enough power and resources.
o Conspiracy: Part of a larger conspiracy with powerful individuals benefiting from chaos and lawlessness.
o Deception: Carefully crafts his image as invincible, hiding his vulnerabilities and the limits of his power.
9. Flaw: His need for respect and control can lead to reckless decisions, undermining his long-term plans.
10. Values: Believes in power, control, and the importance of wealth. Values respect and loyalty (when convenient).
11. Character Dilemma: Conflict between his ruthless pursuit of power and his fear of being exposed as a pawn, leading to internal turmoil and potentially risky decisions.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Character Profiles Part 1

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to create powerful character profiles. Doing so will help me create the perfect characters for my story. Great character profiles allow us to create the exact actions and dialogue that best express the essence of each of these unique characters.

The High Concept.
Devastated by her father’s brutal murder at the hands of a ruthless outlaw gang, a refined 19th-century college student joins her sorority sisters to form the “Shadows of Justice.” Together, they blend their unique skills and diverse backgrounds to pursue vengeance, justice, and redemption across the Wild West. To save the town, the three young women of the “Shadows of Justice” face the impossible goal of defeating 100 heavily-armed outlaws.

Character Name and Role: Eleanor “Rose” Turner – Protagonist

This character’s journey: Devastated by her father’s murder, Rose transforms from a refined college student into a determined avenger. She leads her sorority sisters in forming the “Shadows of Justice,” embracing her role as a leader and warrior as they seek vengeance and redemption across the Wild West.

The Actor Attractors for this character: This role would make an actor want to be known for it because it presents a dynamic transformation from a refined, educated young woman into a fierce, determined leader. The depth of her character, embodying both intellect and physical prowess, provides a rich canvas for showcasing an actor’s range and skill.
Rose is the heart of the story, embodying the themes of vengeance, justice, and redemption. Her journey from innocence to strength and her role as a leader who unites diverse skills and backgrounds make her the most compelling character. Her internal struggle with maintaining her humanity while seeking vengeance adds layers of complexity.

Role in the Story: Leader of the Shadows of Justice

Age range and Description: 21, blonde hair, striking blue eyes, innocent.

Core Traits: Intellectual, tenderfoot (inexperienced in wild west – fish out of water), leader, determined

Motivation; Want/Need: She wants vengeance and to bring her father’s killer to justice. She needs her family/mom.

Wound: Guilt she feels for going to school and not being there for her parents. Internal struggle to maintain her humanity, wanting to save lives not take them.

Likability: Doing heroic deeds and caring about her best friends.

Relatability: The struggles of college life and being a fish out of water in the wild west.

Empathy: Father is murdered and impossible feat of bringing the killer to justice.

Character Name and role: Calvin Stone – Antagonist

This character’s journey: Calvin Stone is the ruthless leader of an outlaw gang who stops at nothing to maintain control of the mining town he has overtaken. His journey is one of power and greed as he seeks to expand his influence and eliminate anyone who stands in his way.

The Actor Attractors for this character: An actor would want to be known for this role due to its complexity and the opportunity to portray a truly formidable villain. Calvin’s blend of ruthless ambition and calculated intelligence offers a rich character study.
Calvin is fascinating because he’s not just a typical outlaw; he’s a strategic thinker with a long-term vision for power. His cold, calculating nature and hidden depths, including his role as a pawn in a larger political game, make him intriguing.

Role in the Story: Leader of an outlaw gang who kills the Sheriff and takes control of a gold mining town.

Age range and Description: late 20s, extremely charismatic, dresses to impress.

Core Traits: Greed, clean-freak, cunning, ruthless.

Motivation; Want/Need: He wants power, control, and personal wealth at any cost. He needs respect.

Wound: Abandoned at birth by his mother, he desperately wants a family he never had.

Likability: Incredibly charismatic and tries to charm the Sheriff onto his side.

Relatability: Wants power, control, and to be rich. Hates dirt.

Empathy: Grew up poor without his birth mother.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Likability/Relatability/Empathy

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is the power of Likability/Relatability/Empathy. Audiences crave engaging characters. They don't need to be 100% likeable, or at all, but they need to be relatable in some way and for the audience to feel empathy for them. If you do this, you can create a character who kills dozens of people, yet we root for this mass murderer. Have the audience like that person somehow, relate to what they are going through, and make their life hell to really draw them in and the audience will follow the character anywhere.

Character Name and Role: Eleanor “Rose” Turner – Protagonist
Likability: Does something heroic.
Relatability: Gets in trouble for being late to class. Something most of us have done.
Empathy: But we feel for her when we find out why she was late. She was helping a mother give birth. This sets the audience to like her right away and feel for her completely when she learns her father was murdered.

Character Name and role: Calvin Stone – Antagonist
Likability: Incredibly charismatic and tries to charm the Sheriff onto his side.
Relatability: Wants power, control, and to be rich. We can relate to wanting a lot of money and power.
Empathy: Not getting what he wants creates empathy, for we all have been disappointed. But he then kills the Sheriff as a result and now we grow to hate this man. Having him be defeated and his life spared at the end will bring some empathy back to him, especially when he is somewhat of a pawn in a bigger game. If the protagonist feeling conflicted can spare him, then we can start to forgive what he did too.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Character Intrigue

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to create hidden layers of intrigue for my main characters. They can be: Hidden agendas, Competition, Conspiracy, Secrets, Deception, Unspoken Wound, or a Secret Identity. These layers add subtext to what is going on underneath with our characters.

Character Name and Role: Eleanor “Rose” Turner – Protagonist

Hidden Agenda: Rose has a covert plan to expose and dismantle a corrupt political network that she believes is supporting the outlaw gang. She secretly gathers evidence and allies, keeping this mission hidden even from her closest friends to protect them.

Secret: Rose conceals her growing doubts about the morality of their mission. She struggles with the fear that her thirst for vengeance might lead her down a dark path, and this internal conflict impacts her decisions and interactions.

Unspoken Wound: The traumatic experience of her father’s brutal murder haunts Rose, driving her actions and decisions. She copes by throwing herself into the mission, but the pain and loss constantly shadow her.

Secret Identity: Beneath her role as a leader and avenger, Rose sees herself as a silent guardian of justice. She envisions herself as a hero, but this self-assigned identity comes with the burden of maintaining her moral integrity while seeking vengeance.

Character Name and role: Calvin Stone – Antagonist

Hidden Agenda: Calvin has a covert plan to eliminate his higher political connections once he has secured enough power and resources. He pretends to be loyal to them while secretly plotting their downfall to seize control for himself.

Conspiracy: Calvin is part of a larger conspiracy involving a network of powerful individuals who benefit from the chaos and lawlessness. Together, they work covertly to maintain and expand their influence, often at the expense of innocent lives.

Deception: Calvin deceives his gang and the townspeople by presenting himself as invincible and omnipotent. He carefully crafts his image to instill fear and obedience, hiding his vulnerabilities and the limits of his power.

Unspoken Wound: Calvin’s unspoken wound is his abandonment at birth by his mother and growing up poor constantly struggling.

Secret Identity: Calvin harbors a secret identity as a fallen hero. In his mind, he still sees himself as someone who was wronged and forced into a life of crime, justifying his actions as a form of retribution against a corrupt system.

Here are some ways these might show up in my script:

Eleanor “Rose” Turner
Hidden Agenda
How it Shows Up:
• Scenes: Throughout the movie, Rose is seen secretly gathering information and evidence against the corrupt political network supporting the outlaws. She meets with hidden allies, leaves coded messages, and stealthily eavesdrops on conversations.
• Dialogue: Conversations where Rose subtly probes for information or hints at a broader conspiracy, especially with those who might unknowingly have useful information.
• Climax: The revelation of her hidden agenda comes to light during a pivotal moment, perhaps during a confrontation with the corrupt town leaders or when she presents her findings to rally the townspeople against both the outlaws and their political enablers.
Secret
How it Shows Up:
• Internal Conflict: Rose frequently experiences moments of introspection and doubt, where she grapples with the morality of her vengeance mission. This is shown through her journal entries or conversations with a trusted confidant.
• Symbolism: Objects or scenes that symbolize her internal struggle, such as her father’s personal items that she carries with her, which remind her of her original motives and the fine line between justice and vengeance.
• Critical Decision: At a crucial point, Rose faces a moral dilemma where she must choose between a path of mercy or ruthless retribution, highlighting her internal conflict.
Unspoken Wound
How it Shows Up:
• Flashbacks: Flashbacks to the traumatic event of her father’s murder, often triggered by specific sounds, sights, or situations in the present, providing the audience with insight into her pain and motivation.
• Behavioral Tics: Rose might display certain behaviors that hint at her trauma, such as flinching at loud noises, having nightmares, or moments of dissociation when faced with violence.
• Emotional Outbursts: Occasional emotional outbursts or breakdowns, especially in private, where she releases the pent-up grief and rage stemming from her father’s death.
Secret Identity
How it Shows Up:
• Private Moments: Private scenes where Rose reflects on her actions and decisions, questioning whether she is truly becoming the hero she aspires to be or if she’s veering towards becoming what she despises.
• Mentor Relationship: Interactions with a mentor or a wise character who sees through her exterior and challenges her to stay true to her values, providing guidance and insight into her internal identity struggle.
• Heroic Acts: Moments where Rose’s actions go beyond mere vengeance and embody true justice and heroism, showcasing her growth and alignment with her internal hero identity. For example, sparing a repentant enemy or saving innocent lives even when it complicates her primary mission.

Calvin Stone
Hidden Agenda
How it Shows Up:
• Strategic Moves: Throughout the movie, Calvin is seen making strategic moves that seem to be about maintaining control but are actually part of a larger plan to eliminate his political backers. He might redirect resources, make secret alliances, or covertly gather dirt on his superiors.
• Secret Meetings: Calvin has clandestine meetings with key figures where he discusses plans to seize total control. These meetings might be shown in shadowy settings or through eavesdropping scenes.
• Betrayal Moment: The climax of his hidden agenda could involve a dramatic betrayal where he turns on his political backers, revealing his ultimate ambition to the audience and his rivals.
Conspiracy
How it Shows Up:
• Covert Operations: Calvin is shown organizing covert operations that benefit his political allies, such as sabotaging competitors, intimidating voters, or manipulating local officials. These actions reveal the extent of the conspiracy.
• Co-Conspirators: He has interactions with co-conspirators where they discuss their secret plans. These characters could be shady businessmen, corrupt officials, or other outlaws.
• Unraveling the Plot: As the movie progresses, Rose and her team start uncovering bits of this conspiracy, leading to a series of revelations that escalate the stakes and deepen the conflict.
Deception
How it Shows Up:
• False Promises: Calvin often makes false promises to his gang, the townspeople, and even his political backers. He might promise protection, wealth, or loyalty while secretly plotting their downfall.
• Facade of Power: He maintains a facade of absolute power and control, hiding his vulnerabilities and the precarious nature of his alliances. This facade starts to crack under pressure, revealing the deception.
• Manipulative Tactics: Calvin uses manipulative tactics to pit people against each other, create distrust, and eliminate threats. He might spread false information or use blackmail to maintain his position.
Unspoken Wound (Abandoned by His Mother at Birth and Growing Up Poor)
How it Shows Up:
• Flashbacks: Flashbacks to his childhood, showing the harsh conditions he grew up in and the pivotal moments of abandonment. These scenes can provide context for his ruthless nature and drive for power.
• Behavioral Clues: Calvin’s behavior is influenced by his unspoken wound. He might show an obsessive need for control, a lack of trust in others, or an intense reaction to abandonment or betrayal.
• Emotional Outbursts: Rare moments where Calvin’s composure breaks, revealing the deep-seated pain of his past. These might occur in private or during intense confrontations.
Secret Identity
How it Shows Up:
• Private Reflection: Scenes where Calvin is alone, reflecting on his actions and the person he has become. He might look at an old photograph or a relic from his past, revealing his internal conflict.
• Confidant: A relationship with a confidant (perhaps an old friend or a mentor figure) who knows his true identity and past. Their interactions reveal his hidden vulnerabilities and motivations.
• Acts of Contradiction: Moments where Calvin’s actions contradict his ruthless exterior, hinting at his internal struggle. For instance, sparing someone’s life unexpectedly or showing mercy in a subtle way.
• Identity Crisis: As the movie progresses, Calvin faces an identity crisis, particularly when confronted by Rose and her quest for justice. This crisis forces him to confront the gap between the ruthless leader he has become and the wounded, abandoned child he once was.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Subtext Characters

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is every person has subtext in their lives, so to write great characters, they need character subtext. Something is going on under the surface which will come out when challenged or under stress.

Movie Title: YOUNG GUNS
Character Name: Billy the Kid
Subtext Identity: Billy the Kid is a charismatic outlaw with a rebellious streak.

Subtext Trait: Beneath his confident and reckless exterior, Billy struggles with the fear of abandonment and a desperate need for loyalty and belonging.

Subtext Logline: Billy is a charismatic outlaw who hides his fear of abandonment with a facade of reckless confidence.
Possible Areas of Subtext:
Hiding something: Billy hides his deep-seated fear of being left alone or betrayed by his companions, masking it with bravado and fearlessness.

Afraid to say: He is afraid to admit his vulnerability and the emotional scars from his past that drive his need for loyalty and recognition.

Secret: Billy secretly yearns for a sense of family and belonging, which he tries to create with the gang.

Lying: He often exaggerates his stories and achievements to maintain his larger-than-life persona and to keep the gang’s respect and admiration.

Luring/seducing: Billy uses his charm and wit to win over new allies and to manipulate situations to his advantage, masking his true intentions.

Withholding: He withholds his true feelings of insecurity and the pain of his past from his gang, only showing them his wild and fearless side.

Plotting: Billy is constantly plotting ways to stay ahead of the law and rival factions, driven by a mix of survival instinct and a desire for notoriety.

Character: Eleanor “Rose” Turner

Subtext Identity: Rose is a refined college student turned avenger.

Subtext Trait: Beneath her poised exterior, she harbors a deep-seated fear that she may lose her humanity in her quest for vengeance.

Subtext Logline: Rose is a refined intellectual who hides her growing fear of becoming consumed by her quest for vengeance.

Possible Areas of Subtext:

Hiding something: Rose hides the intensity of her anger and thirst for vengeance from her sorority sisters, trying to maintain a composed front.
Afraid to say: She is afraid to express her doubts and fears about the morality of their mission, worried it might weaken their resolve.
Secret: Rose secretly questions her ability to lead and protect her friends in such a dangerous quest.
Being polite: She often uses her refined manners and education to mask her inner turmoil and rage.
Plotting: Rose continuously plots and strategizes, keeping her most radical plans to herself until she feels her companions are ready.

Character: Calvin Stone

Subtext Identity: Calvin is a ruthless outlaw leader with a hidden vulnerability.

Subtext Trait: Behind his cold and calculating demeanor, he fears losing control and being exposed as merely a pawn in a larger political game.

Subtext Logline: Calvin is a ruthless outlaw leader who secretly fears losing control and being exposed as a mere pawn.

Possible Areas of Subtext:

Hiding something: Calvin hides his dependence on a higher political power, presenting himself as the ultimate authority.
Afraid to say: He is afraid to admit to his gang that his control is not as absolute as it appears.
Secret: Calvin secretly harbors doubts about his own invincibility and the loyalty of his men.
Lying: He lies about the true extent of his influence and resources to maintain fear and respect.
Luring/seducing: Calvin uses charm and manipulation to recruit new members and secure alliances, always with a hidden agenda.
Withholding: He withholds crucial information about his true plans and alliances, even from his closest associates.
Plotting: Calvin is constantly plotting to eliminate threats to his power, both within and outside his gang.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Actor Attractors!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to create main characters for actors using nine actor attractors.

Lead Character Name: Eleanor “Rose” Turner

Role: Protagonist

What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
The transformational journey of the character from a sheltered college co-ed to a leader and killer.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
She undergoes the biggest change, goes from a fish-out-of-water to learning to “swim” and survive while seeking revenge and justice.
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
Facing things that constantly threaten her life and learning to survive and lead.
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
She will be introduced in action, riding a horse fast, late for class, then trying to sneak into the classroom undetected so as to not get in trouble.
What could be this character’s emotional range?
From innocent young woman to killer. Expressing great sadness learning of her father’s murder to rage seeking vengeance and justice.
What subtext can the actor play?
At times, she must hide who she is or wants to be. Hiding her fear, trying to outsmart the bad guys.
What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
The strongest will be with her two best friends, and the three become the Shadows of Justice.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
Through her journey, we will see how she changes and grows, everything she has to do and say along the way.
What could make this character special and unique?
Everything she has to go through in her journey will make her special and unique from college student to killer, but then letting the murderer of her father go at the end and becoming the new sheriff.

Lead Character Name: Calvin Stone

Role: Antagonist

What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
The character is a ruthless, greedy murderer who will do anything to maintain power.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
He is more than just a mean bastard and killer. There is a reason he became one.
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
Riding into town, confronting and murdering the Sheriff, to ruling over the town with a brutal iron fist.
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
He is also introduced in action, riding into town as his men shoot into the air, confronting the Sheriff, giving him a chance to join him in running the town, then killing him when he refuses.
What could be this character’s emotional range?
From calm to rage, a killer, but showing weakness in defeat.
What subtext can the actor play?
Hiding his ruthless, killer nature at first, then letting it explode!
What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
With his outlaw gang, how he controls them, to how he treats innocent townspeople.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
By how he acts and what he says and does.
What could make this character special and unique?
Wanting power, taking it, keeping it, and ultimately losing it, allowed to live at the end.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Actor Attractors for Young Guns

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to create roles for actors using nine actor attractors.

Movie Title: YOUNG GUNS

Lead Character Name: Billy the Kid

1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
Because the role is of a well-known gunfighter and any actor playing the part will get a lot of attention.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
The movie shows how he became Billy the Kid.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
From escaping capture by the bad guy and his men to seeking revenge and killing those who took him in and saved him.
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
He is introduced on the run and rescued, taken in, and becomes one of the Regulators.
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
He goes from someone fleeing and hiding to a leader and killer.
6. What subtext can the actor play?
In one scene, he pretends to be a guy willing to search and find Billy the Kid, when in fact, he himself is Billy the Kid.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?
He joins the Regulators and comes to appreciate who they are and tries to lead them to justice and escape.
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
He kills when he shouldn’t, does and says things that make other characters say, “He’s not all there, is he?”
9. What makes this character special and unique?
He is a killer and kills when you don’t expect him to, which is shocking. He is also smarter than we are lead to believe at first.
10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
The last big sequence of the movie takes place in a lawyer’s house where Billy and the other regulators have come to rescue the lawyer and his wife from the bad guys. Before they can escape, the house is surrounded by dozens of bad guys, making escape seemingly impossible. Instead of surrendering, Billy leads his men in a shootout against all odds. The house is set on fire and people die, including his friends, but Billy escapes and kills the main bad guy before riding away. He gets to do and say things any actor would love to do.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Genre Conventions

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to add genre conventions to my 4-act transformational structure. Each of the main genres have conventions the audience expects to see and experience. My story is an Action Western, so I need to make sure to include action conventions within a wild west setting. I've included two structures below. The second adds some genre conventions. It is just a working example. I'm still working on the outline and story, but it gives me a lot to think about, and reminds me to make every genre convention as strong as possible.

Title: Shadows of Justice

Genre: Action Western

Concept: Devastated by her father’s brutal murder at the hands of a ruthless outlaw gang, a refined 19th-century college student joins her sorority sisters to form the “Shadows of Justice.” Together, they blend their unique skills and diverse backgrounds to pursue vengeance, justice, and redemption across the Wild West. To save the town, the three young women of the “Shadows of Justice” face the impossible goal of defeating 100 heavily-armed outlaws.

Lesson 6 Structure:
Act 1: Old Ways

Opening: Introduce Eleanor “Rose” Turner, a refined college student living a sheltered life in the city.
Inciting Incident: Rose’s father, the Sheriff of a mining town, is brutally murdered by Calvin Stone and his outlaw gang.
Turning Point: Rose, devastated by her father’s death, decides to take action and seek justice.

Act 2: New Plan

New Plan: Rose joins forces with her college friends Dakota “Red Cloud” Davis and Lillian “Lily” Monroe to form the “Shadows of Justice” and pursue vengeance.
Plan in Action: They train under Professor Cassidy Kane, learning the skills needed to survive and fight in the Wild West.
Midpoint Turning Point: The Shadows of Justice set out on their mission to save the town, facing initial challenges and obstacles.

Act 3: Rethink Everything

Rethink Everything: As they encounter setbacks and difficulties, Rose begins to question her initial approach and leadership.
New Plan: The group reevaluates their strategy and strengthens their resolve to take down Calvin Stone and his gang.
Turning Point: Huge Failure/Major Shift: Despite their efforts, the Shadows of Justice suffer a major setback, forcing Rose to confront her doubts and fears.

Act 4: Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict

Climax: The Shadows of Justice engage in an epic showdown with Calvin Stone and his heavily-armed outlaw gang, culminating in a tense and action-packed confrontation.
Resolution: Rose emerges victorious, defeating the outlaws and saving the town. She assumes the role of the new Sheriff, embodying the transformation from a sheltered college student to a fierce leader and protector of justice in the Wild West.

New Structure with added genre conventions:
Act 1: Old Ways

Opening: As Rose navigates the bustling streets of the city, we see glimpses of her sheltered life juxtaposed with the rugged, untamed landscapes of the Wild West through fleeting newspaper headlines and posters.
Inciting Incident: Calvin Stone's outlaw gang storms into the mining town with guns blazing, causing chaos and destruction as they ruthlessly execute Rose's father in a tense standoff. The scene is punctuated by the thunderous sound of gunfire and the sight of billowing dust clouds.
Turning Point: Rose witnesses her father's murder and is forced to confront the harsh realities of the frontier. Her resolve hardens as she vows to seek vengeance against those responsible, setting the stage for her transformation from a sheltered city dweller to a formidable force in the Wild West.

Act 2: New Plan

New Plan: Rose, Dakota, and Lily embark on a perilous journey across the unforgiving terrain of the Wild West, evading pursuit and honing their survival skills as they prepare to confront Calvin Stone and his gang. Along the way, they encounter hostile Native American tribes, treacherous outlaws, and the harsh elements of the wilderness.
Plan in Action: Under the grizzled guidance of Professor Cassidy Kane, the Shadows of Justice undergo rigorous training sessions that include intense horseback riding, marksmanship drills, and hand-to-hand combat techniques. Each member harnesses their unique abilities, with Dakota showcasing her expertise in tracking and wilderness survival, and Lily demonstrating her proficiency with firearms and strategic planning.
Midpoint Turning Point: In a pulse-pounding shootout at a remote outpost, the Shadows of Justice face off against a small faction of Calvin Stone's gang, showcasing their newfound skills and resourcefulness in a thrilling display of action and firepower.

Act 3: Rethink Everything

Rethink Everything: As tensions escalate and alliances are tested, Rose grapples with doubts about her ability to lead the Shadows of Justice and doubts whether they can truly overcome the seemingly insurmountable odds stacked against them. Amidst the chaos, she finds solace in the wisdom of Professor Kane, who imparts the hard-earned lessons of his outlaw past.
New Plan: With renewed determination, the Shadows of Justice regroup and devise a daring plan to infiltrate Calvin Stone's fortified stronghold, navigating a labyrinth of underground tunnels and secret passages while evading detection by his watchful sentries.
Turning Point: Their plan goes awry when they fall into a trap set by Calvin Stone, leading to a harrowing showdown in the heart of his lair. Surrounded on all sides by Stone's heavily armed henchmen, Rose must confront her deepest fears and summon the courage to face her nemesis head-on.

Act 4: Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict

Climax: The final showdown between the Shadows of Justice and Calvin Stone's gang erupts into a ferocious battle royale, with bullets flying, fists flying, and explosions rocking the landscape. The air is thick with smoke and the deafening roar of gunfire as the two sides clash in a desperate bid for survival.
Resolution: In a climactic showdown atop a rocky cliff overlooking the town, Rose confronts Calvin Stone in a tense standoff that culminates in a heart-stopping duel. As the sun sets on the horizon, she emerges victorious, standing tall as the new Sheriff of the town and a symbol of hope for a brighter future in the Wild West.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s 4 Act Transformational Structure

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to create a 4-act transformational structure.

Act 1: Old Ways

Opening: Introduce Eleanor “Rose” Turner, a refined college student living a sheltered life in the city.
Inciting Incident: Rose’s father, the Sheriff of a mining town, is brutally murdered by Calvin Stone and his outlaw gang.
Turning Point: Rose, devastated by her father’s death, decides to take action and seek justice.

Act 2: New Plan

New Plan: Rose joins forces with her college friends Dakota “Red Cloud” Davis and Lillian “Lily” Monroe to form the “Shadows of Justice” and pursue vengeance.
Plan in Action: They train under Professor Cassidy Kane, learning the skills needed to survive and fight in the Wild West.
Midpoint Turning Point: The Shadows of Justice set out on their mission to save the town, facing initial challenges and obstacles.

Act 3: Rethink Everything

Rethink Everything: As they encounter setbacks and difficulties, Rose begins to question her initial approach and leadership.
New Plan: The group reevaluates their strategy and strengthens their resolve to take down Calvin Stone and his gang.
Turning Point: Huge Failure/Major Shift: Despite their efforts, the Shadows of Justice suffer a major setback, forcing Rose to confront her doubts and fears.

Act 4: Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict

Climax: The Shadows of Justice engage in an epic showdown with Calvin Stone and his heavily-armed outlaw gang, culminating in a tense and action-packed confrontation.
Resolution: Rose emerges victorious, defeating the outlaws and saving the town. She assumes the role of the new Sheriff, embodying the transformation from a sheltered college student to a fierce leader and protector of justice in the Wild West.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Subtext Plot

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to create a subtext plot, which happens under the surface and gives greater depth to a story, because multiple things are going on at once. Those at the surface and those underneath. There are seven basic subtext-oriented plots: Scheme and Investigation, Layering, Someone Hides Who They Are, The Fish Out of Water, Superior Position, A Major Cover Up, and Competitive Agendas.

Title: Shadows of Justice

Genre: Western

High Concept: Devastated by her father’s brutal murder at the hands of a ruthless outlaw gang, a refined 19th-century college student joins her sorority sisters to form the “Shadows of Justice.” Together, they blend their unique skills and diverse backgrounds to pursue vengeance, justice, and redemption across the Wild West. To save the town, the three young women of the “Shadows of Justice” face the impossible goal of defeating 100 heavily-armed outlaws.

My story has a few characters either hiding who they are, hiding their past, or hiding who is really in charge and pulling the strings. There are elements of layering because somebody sent the antagonist to the town to carryout someone’s deeper agenda. The story also presents a fish out of water story because the protagonist is a sheltered college student thrust into and experiencing the unforgiving world of the wild west for the first time. Another subtext plot driving the story is competing agendas. The protagonist and antagonist want opposite things. The antagonist wants total power and control over a gold-mining town, while the protagonist wants revenge and to free the town from the outlaw gang. Only one can win and it’s a fight to the death to see who will. Underneath the surface conflict is a sexual tension and attraction between these two characters that complicates what on the surface is pretty straightforward. Can you kill someone who creates mixed feelings within you? Someone you should hate and want dead 100% for murdering your father?

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Lead Character's Transformational Journey

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to create a transformational journey for my protagonist. The character has to have an arc. He or she begins in one place and ends in another. This arc has an internal and external journey where the character changes from their old ways to their new ways.

Using the AI prompt for this assignment showed me my protagonist’s journey in far greater detail than what I wrote below. Wow!

Arc Beginning: Rose starts as a refined college student.
Arc Ending: She starts the Shadows of Justice, saves the town, and becomes the new Sheriff.

Internal Journey: From wanting to learn and do good to a leader and killer.
External Journey: From college student seeking a peaceful city life to wild west town savior and new Sheriff.

Old Ways: Learning skills to survive and thrive in the city. Non-leader, sits in the back of class, respectful of authority, helps bring life into the world.
New Ways: Learning skills to survive in the Wild West. A leader, a fighter, someone who can and will deliver justice, revenge seeker, a life-taker.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Intentional Lead Characters

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment are the rules for great lead characters. These characters must uniquely fit and deliver the story powerfully.

Character: Eleanor "Rose" Turner
Logline: Rose, a refined 19th Century college student, forms the "Shadows of Justice" to avenge her father's murder.
Unique: Her journey makes her unique because she must go from co-ed to killer as she seeks justice.

Character: Calvin Stone
Logline: Calvin, the ruthless leader of an outlaw gang, murders the Sheriff (Rose's father), and takes over a mining town that recently struck gold!
Unique: He is a bad-ass, power-hungry, greedy bastard who will let nothing stand in his way for total control of the town.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Title, Concept, and Character Structure!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment are the four main character structures for a screenplay and which one is best for my script.

I claim ownership of the following concept:

Title: Shadows of Justice

Genre: Western

High Concept: Devastated by her father's brutal murder at the hands of a ruthless outlaw gang, a refined 19th-century college student joins her sorority sisters to form the "Shadows of Justice." Together, they blend their unique skills and diverse backgrounds to pursue vengeance, justice, and redemption across the Wild West.

The Major Story Hook: To save the town, the three young women of the "Shadows of Justice" face the impossible goal of defeating 100 heavily-armed outlaws.

I'm using the Protagonist vs Antagonist character structure. My story is about a good woman against a bad man.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Hi all,

I’m still working on my other pitches but am looking for feedback on my query letter below. Thank you!

Dear Manager/Producer,

Imagine waking up in total darkness. The first words you hear, “Ready to confess?”

This is Tom Carter’s fate in my high concept, contained thriller, TRAPPED.

Claustrophobic and confined to an underwater grave for stealing billions in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

The clock is ticking. Help Tom escape. Request a copy of the screenplay before time runs out.

Sincerely,

Farrin Rosenthal

818-xxx-xxxx

BIO: Farrin is a Professional Screenwriter. He specializes in highly marketable spec screenplays and loves to collaborate with producers, be it to help them bring original TV and movie ideas to life, elevate existing material, or adapt books and other IP into scripts.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Target Market

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to use IMDBpro to make a list of producers or managers who might be interested in my project. The producers you look up should make movies in your genre and budget range or have contacts with those producers. That website also allows you to make your own lists. Just call it producer or manager list and save it, then add producers or managers who fit. I’m focusing on managers first, and I did a search for them by clicking on people and selecting managers. A list of over 13,000 managers pops up, but you can narrow down the list using filter selections. I clicked the box that says “Has clients” and that gets the list to 7,000+ managers. Then, I started selecting only managers with contact info and numerous clients. Doing this, I now have a list of over 500 managers I want to query, but before I do, I need to check to see if they only rep actors, and if so, I remove them from my list. It takes a long time to create a large list, but this is part of our job. Don’t stress, just put in the time knowing you are working to find people who will say yes, send me the script. Happy searching!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Phone Pitch

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

What I learned doing this assignment is you only have a few seconds to grab the attention of a producer with a phone pitch. First, you have to select the right company to call, one that produces movies in your genre and budget range. Then, you have to decide how to lead with your best, be it credibility, great title, strong business hook, or high concept. A good approach might be to ask permission first before launching into your pitch.

For my phone pitch, I would probably combine some strategies, such as credibility, title, and business hook.

Here is my phone pitch: Hi, my name is Farrin Rosenthal and I’m a professional screenwriter wondering if I can run a quick pitch by you for my contained thriller called TRAPPED?

If they say yes, then, I say, “Here is my concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.”

What is the budget range? Low budget from $1 to 5 million.

What actors do you like for the lead roles? Jonah Hill for the lead and Jason Segel would be really interesting to pay against type as the Russian mob boss.

How many pages is the script? 88 pages

Who else has seen this? You’re the first or just a few.

Why do you think this fits our company? You make awesome thrillers in this budget range.

How does it end? (setup / payoff). Even though he claims innocence, Tom confesses to stealing the Bitcoin from the mob boss only to discover Tom’s wife and her lover are the ones who really setup Tom to take the fall. Tom shoots the Russian, puts his wife in the box as retribution, and drives away a billionaire having saved his kids. But he doesn’t realize the bad guy is still alive and a threat to his future.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Pitch Fest Pitch

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

What I learned doing this assignment is a pitch to a pitch fest should be short and focused, just like other forms of pitches. Start by introducing yourself, any credibility you have, the genre and title of your project, then a short story hook. After, be prepared to answer any questions the producer or manager might have, such as budget range, actors you think would be good for the leads, a breakdown of the acts, and your credibility.

Here is my pitch:

Hi, my name is Farrin Rosenthal and I’m a professional screenwriter. My new script is a thriller called, TRAPPED. Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing
$3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles
retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and
save his family.

What is the budget range? Low budget from $1 to 5 million.

What actors do you like for the lead roles? Jonah Hill for the lead and Jason Segel would be really interesting to pay against type as the Russian mob boss.

Give me the acts of the story.How does it end? (setup / payoff). In the first act, the protagonist, Tom, learns he has 60 minutes to confess or his family dies. The thing is, the mob boss needs Tom alive to transfer the Bitcoin back into the stolen account. So, putting him in the box is the ultimate form of torture. Tom claims he is innocent and refuses to confess. With time ticking down, the box springs a leak and starts to fill with water. Only at the last second does Tom confess and there is a race to free him from the box before he drowns. Once freed, Tom and the mob boss are in for a shock when they learn they have both been betrayed by loved ones. Tom’s wife is having an affair with the younger brother of the mob boss and they stole from the boss and set up Tom to take the fall. The brothers fight to the death and the younger brother kills the boss and is shot in the chest by Tom. Tom leaves his betraying wife at the bottom of the pool in the box as retribution for trying to kill him. As he consoles his kids after everything they have bee through, Tom doesn’t notice the younger brother stagger out of the house with a gun aimed at Tom. But Tom and the kids get away right before the gun can be shot.

Credibility questions What have you done? I’ve optioned a script to a producer and written an original comedy pilot and feature for another producer as well as a number of rewrites.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Query letter

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

What I learned doing this assignment is a query letter should be short with lots of white space! Managers, producers, etc., don’t have time to wade through long boring queries. Get right to it with a strong hook, short synopsis, and BIO. I like to tailor my query letters to match the genre of my script. So, if I wrote a comedy, the query better make you laugh.

Since my newest script is a thriller, I’ve written the query like a thriller, hopefully giving the reader that edge of their seat feel. Check it out:

Dear Manager/Producer,

Imagine waking up in total darkness. The first words you hear, “Ready to confess?”

This is Tom Carter’s fate in my high concept, contained thriller, TRAPPED.

Claustrophobic and confined to an underwater grave for stealing billions in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

The clock is ticking. Help Tom escape. Request a copy of the screenplay before time runs out.

Sincerely,

Farrin Rosenthal

818-xxx-xxxx

BIO: Farrin is a Professional Screenwriter. He specializes in highly marketable spec screenplays and loves to collaborate with producers, be it to help them bring original TV and movie ideas to life, elevate existing material, or adapt books and other IP into scripts.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

What I learned doing this assignment is my high concept is my concept above. It expresses my main hook in one sentence. Being trapped in an underwater grave with just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family combines two ways to express the main hook. It’s a dilemma with high stakes.

For an elevator pitch, I might say, “I’m writing a high concept contained thriller called, TRAPPED. It’s DIE HARD meets BURIED.” or I might say, “It’s DIE HARD under water.”

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Synopsis Hooks

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

What I learned doing this assignment is how hooks create interest in your synopsis. We use hooks to engage the reader and keep them hooked. Below is the first draft of my synopsis. I used hooks from my story’s 10 most interesting things and 10 components of marketability.

What if you were claustrophobic and woke up in an underwater grave with no way out?

This is Tom’s fate.

To make matters worse, Tom is trapped as retribution for stealing billions in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, and has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

Would you confess to a crime you did not commit and sacrifice yourself to save those you love the most?

With time running out, Tom lies to save himself, but can he still save his family, or is there something far more sinister standing in the way?

• This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s 10 Most Interesting Things

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

What I learned doing this assignment is a pitch is not a book report. Book reports tend to be long and boring, covering every little detail. What we want instead is something short and powerful that creates obsession in the person reading or hearing the pitch. The purpose of the pitch is to generate interest and script requests. By making a list of the 10 most interesting things to include in a pitch, we guarantee the pitch will be interesting.

In no particular order, here are the 10 most interesting things about my script:

1. Tom, the claustrophobic protagonist, is trapped in an underwater grave for stealing billions in Bitcoin from the head of the Russian mob. Tom claims he is innocent and refuses to confess.

2. In the opening scene, the Russian mob boss asks Tom if he is ready to confess.

3. Turning points: Tom is given 60 minutes to confess or he and his family will die. Tom’s wife helps Tom out of a panic attack. The box Tom is trapped inside starts to fill with water. At the very last instant, Tom confesses, but will he make it out of the box in time or drown? Tom finds out his wife is having an affair and she set Tom up.

4. Emotional dilemma: Tom’s family will die unless he confesses to a crime he did not commit.

5. Major twist occurs when Tom learns the truth, that his wife set him up to take the fall. The mob boss finds out his brother is the one who really stole from him.

6. Reversal: Tom claims he is innocent, but confesses, then we learn he really is innocent.

7. Character betrayals: Tom’s wife betrays him, and the mob boss is betrayed by his brother.

8. The big surprise happens when Tom finds out who the real bad guys are.

9. Contained script with one main location and several smaller ones.

10. Lower budget thriller with big profit potential.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal Meets Producer/Manager

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to have a professional meeting with a producer and manager. They both have different needs/wants, so the meetings need to reflect that difference.

In a meeting with a producer, I would pitch my project to show it is highly marketable and let the producer know my goal is to work with them to help get the movie made. To do so, I would tell them I’m willing to make any changes needed to get the movie made, be that to cut the budget, attract a bigger name actor, or whatever it takes.

In a meeting with a manager, I would make it clear I only have and want to write highly marketable projects. I want our careers to grow and prosper together. We are a team. I’m open to their advice and willing to learn every day, be that how to pitch, become a better writer, how to meet with producers, and that I’m open to writing assignments. It would be clear that writing is what I love and something I want to make my full-time job.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Marketable Components

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

Which components have the most potential for selling this script?

A. Unique: The protagonist is trapped at the bottom of a pool as retribution for stealing billions from a mob boss.

B. Great Title: TRAPPED, one word that explains the main character’s predicament.

C. True: N/A

D. Timely: Cryptocurrency

E. It’s a first: First person trapped at the bottom of a pool as revenge?

F. Ultimate: Ultimate way to torture somebody.

G. Wide audience appeal: Everybody can relate to a man trying to save himself and his family.

H. Adapted from a popular book: N/A

I. Similarity to a box-office success: Die Hard in a Pool.

J. A great role for a bankable actor: Tom – trapped at the bottom of a pool, must prove his innocence and save his family. Dmitriy – seeks revenge and his money back, wants Tom to face the ultimate suffering.

My current pitch focuses on a unique, timely story with a great role for a bankable actor.

If I add that it is “Die Hard in a Pool,” the reader instantly gets it. This is a contained story with strong box-office potential.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to focus our pitch on the main components of marketability. We need to make it clear in the pitch how this project can sell.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Project and Market

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is the key to marketing success. First, target your market, present something they want/need, and make it attractive to them.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

I believe what is most attractive about my story is the fact it is contained, can be made for a lower budget, and has roles for A-list actors.

I’m leaning toward targeting managers first, because they can reach my next target, which are producers.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

I’m ready to exchange feedback. I have a thriller called, TRAPPED.

I can possibly read one script today 2/25, but if not, I’m leaving for a work trip and will be available starting March 8.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal is a Proofreading Star!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to become a proofreading star!

I’m really great at spotting typos in my script or anybody else’s script. However, no matter how great I am, I still will miss some typos.

We can choose from two proofreading processes: Process A. Read it out loud.
Process B. Read it backwards. Then search for and change any of these mistakes: a. Typos. Especially words like “their, there, and they’re.”
b. Doubled words.
c. Incomplete sentences.
d. Lines that don’t feel right.
e. Redundancies.
f. Punctuation errors.

For my script, I chose to read my script out loud.

Actually, this is the first time I’ve ever tried the following technique:

I use Final Draft software and assigned voices to my main characters then had the program read the script out loud. I listened with my eyes closed. The voice the computer uses are computer generated and sound like a computer speaking. It reads it too slow and it sounds unrealistic. But it worked! I heard my dialogue spoken out loud. Anything bad will stick out.

Any typos when spoken out loud become obvious and just listening revealed at least two typos I missed when I read through the script myself. One example occurred in dialogue.

I wrote $12 dollars. To me, I look at that and it seems fine, but when the computer spoke it, it came out as twelve dollars dollars, so I removed the dollar sign, to fix the typo. Now it reads twelve dollars. Either use $12 or twelve dollars, but not $12 dollars! lol

I highly recommend listening to your script with your eyes closed. Yes, until they improve the sounds and speed, it will sound crappy and take forever, but I guarantee, typos and anything not quite right will become obvious.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal Wordsmithing!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to improve key words and eliminate distractions.

I really like these two steps: A. Take out or edit words like almost, just about, just, starts, we see,
is, are, ing’s, and unnecessary adverbs/adjectives. B. Do a search for
repetitive verbs and find more descriptive, interesting or emotional
words to replace them.

For this assignment, I tried to replace words I used over and over again in the script with more effective words that paint a clearer, more interesting, and emotional picture.

Get into the heads of your characters and make sure the reader feels what they are going through. This has to happen through dialogue, action, and description.

Cut to the chase and use as few words as possible, meaning use effective and powerful words.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal has Tested Every Line!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how important it is during the wordsmithing draft to test every line. The goal for this script and every script we write is to have a fast read.

Fast reads contain as few words as possible and flow down the page. They are not filled with dense lines of description.

Testing every line means we ask if every line is necessary. Would the reader miss the line if it was gone? Can we delete it and not affect anything? Is the line absolutely clear or is it confusing? If there is any doubt, fix it and make it clear. Can the line be made shorter? We are not writing a novel. A screenplay cuts to the chase, doesn’t waste space. Brief means fast and fast is good.

I’ve been over my script so many times at this point I almost have the entire thing memorized. I don’t have any huge examples of changes I made when I tested every line, but I did make changes that improved the script. At this point, I feel every word in the script is needed, clear, and concise. My script is 88 pages and a fast read!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal has Amazing Dialogue!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how easy it is to elevate dialogue, but be careful, it can lead you down a never-ending rabbit hole, where you are never satisfied, and can make changes forever, lol.

I don’t know how many lines I improved during this read through, but it was a good number.

Most changes were small, but reveal more about a character or add depth.

Some before and after lines of dialogue:

Before: DANIEL: Play for the Bruins? No thanks, I wanna win.

After: DANIEL: Play for the Bruins? Yeah, if I wanna lose.

To me, the after line shows more snark. Daniel is 16 and saying, “No thanks” feels wrong.

Before: TOM: Okay, remember, order anything from the dollar menu.

After: TOM: Okay, remember, anything from the dollar menu is up for grabs.

To me, the after line feels more natural and I like the subtext.

Sometimes, elevating dialogue means adding more dialogue to improve flow and feel.

Here is some of an argument between Tom and his wife Susan over Tom’s penny-pinching ways.

Before:

SUSAN Jesus Christ! Really?

TOM Yes, every cent counts.

SUSAN I’m so sick of you penny-pinching us to death! Every damn week!

TOM Every week, how the hell would you know? You’re never home.

SUSAN You’re going to hold my job against me?

TOM (sarcastically) Your job, shooting workout videos.

After:

SUSAN Jesus Christ! Really?

TOM Yes, every cent counts.

SUSAN You know what? I’m so sick of you penny-pinching us to death! It’s so tiring, every damn week!

TOM Every week, how the hell would you know? Try showing up for once.

SUSAN So sorry my job makes you jealous.

TOM (sarcastically) Your job, shooting workout videos.

It’s amazing how much one line of dialogue can make a difference.

Before: SUSAN You’re going to hold my job against me?

After: SUSAN So sorry my job makes you jealous.

The before line has Susan talking more about Tom’s actions. It reflects who she thinks Tom is as a person, compared to the after line, which reveals more about both of them.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal has Incredible Monologues!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how great dialogue monologues share certain key components. They should be: Demanded by the situation. Take us to a deeper place. Contain a turning point. Have emotional high stakes. And structured with a beginning, middle, and ending.

In my thriller script, TRAPPED, Tom finds himself inside a coffin-like-box at the bottom of a pool, accused of stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from a Russian mobster.

The antagonist, Dmitriy, is trying to get Tom to confess, but Tom refuses, claiming he is innocent.

In this monologue from the 3rd act, Dmitriy tells Tom how he knows Tom is guilty and what it takes to pull off what he did. Of course, Tom refutes this, which leads to Dmitriy trying another tactic.

DMITRIY
Yes, Tom, I have point. You see, most criminals in world are morons, who get caught, go to prison. The successful few at very top, who never get caught, are always one step ahead of law. These masterminds know how to deceive everyone around them. Like you, they have mastered the skill of deception. Only manipulator and liar of highest order can make people believe one thing when truth is entirely something else and get away with it. It takes one to know one, which is why I know you fool everyone. Everyone but me.

TOM
And sometimes the truth is much more simple and straightforward.

DMITRIY
The truth is, your box, it fills with water. You are running out of time and air. Confess!

TOM
I didn’t do it!

DMITRIY
Okay, Tom, I tried. Now, let us try something else.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal loves Covering Subtext!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how there are two methods of using subtext in dialogue. Use cover-ups when the audience knows what is happening under the surface and use pointers when they don’t.

Subtext pointers do just that, they point to the deeper meaning and what is going on under the surface. These six figures-of-speech work well as subtext pointers:

Metaphor, Implication, Insinuation, Hint, Sarcasm, Allusion.

In one of my scenes, one character just kicked the game-winning field goal and his father tells him, “See how hard work pays off,” but the character’s sister butts in with a line about how luck plays a part as well, that the wind could have been against the kicker.

Here her subtext insinuates a possible implication: If the wind was blowing against the kicker, the ball would not have gone as far and the field goal would have been missed, causing the team to lose. She does not say this directly, but uses subtext to point to it.

Another example in my script happens when the antagonist says to the protagonist, “You know what you did!” This points at the deeper meaning, that the antagonist knows what the protagonist did and knows he is lying about it.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal loves Covering Subtext!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how subtext dialogue has two layers, the surface and the deeper meaning. If the audience knows what is going on under the surface, the deeper meaning, then we can have characters speak in a way that covers-up the deeper meaning.

Since we know what is going on, the character can talk about other things to try to hide what is going on under the surface.

Here are methods a character can use as cover-ups: Silence: Person doesn’t answer when they should. Action incongruent with words. Change subject. Question them. Attack back. Complement them. Misdirection: Do or say something that sends their mind in a different direction. Make a joke of it.

In one of my scenes, the antagonist tells the protagonist, who is trapped, to set a timer to one hour, and asks the protagonist if he knows what will happen when the time runs out.

The audience knows something bad will happen and so does the character, but the character doesn’t want to believe it or face this fact, so I have him make a joke. This cover-up shows the character using humor as a way to cope with his fear. I originally had a different line of dialogue here, but having the protagonist act incongruent by making a joke adds more interest and is not expected.

Anytime you can shock or surprise the audience, even just a little, the better.

Another of my scenes is full of cover-up subtext dialogue. The police are questioning the antagonist. The audience knows what is happening, that the protagonist and his family are in danger, but the antagonist covers this up using lies. The police ask if he is alone. He responds saying he is dog-sitting, but we know there are no dogs, that he is really talking about what is going on under the surface, and the fact the “dogs” in this case are people being held hostage. We know what he is covering-up, but the police do not.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal loves Anticipatory Dialogue!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how Anticipatory Dialogue keeps the reader and audience engaged. You never want to bore the audience or reader, so this type of dialogue is crucial.

Hal gives examples for these 11 different types of Anticipatory Dialogue:

1. Direct prediction.

2. Indirect prediction.

3. Countdown.

4. Imply consequences.

5. Imply hopelessness.

6. Shield from consequences in advance.

7. Warnings.

8. Create reputation for the villain.

9. Confront someone hiding from a future consequence.

10. A challenge issued.

11. Silence at a strange time.

I looked through my script and not only do I have Anticipatory Dialogue in every scene, but I have it in almost all of my dialogue.

I knew my thriller was structured like this with the protagonist in almost constant danger against a running clock, but did not realize the extent to which I use Anticipatory Dialogue.

In the first two pages of my script, every single line of dialogue is anticipatory.

Every one! Those two pages include eight different anticipatory types.

Here is an example from my script. There are five seconds left in a football game and the announcer says this:

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
It’s come down to this. (Warning) The last play of the game. (Warning/Countdown) Van Nuys is down by one point. (Warning/Challenge) Here comes the Wolves’ star kicker, 16-year-old sophomore, Daniel Carter to attempt the game-winning field goal. (Create Reputation/Challenge)

The Anticipatory Dialogue above creates interest by engaging the audience.

After reading those four lines, don’t you want to know what happens next?

I know I do. 😜

• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s love Attack / Counterattack Dialogue!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how common this dialogue technique is and how often I already use it.

In fact, the day before this assignment posted, I added this type of banter to a scene.

It not only added about 1/2 a page of dialogue, but the banter helped reveal more of each character’s personality. It added depth to the scene and characters, not to mention more interest.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Elevated Dialogue!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how everything in a screenplay has a structure. The script itself has a structure, the scenes are structured, and so too the dialogue within those scenes.

For one scene, I have a setup/major twist, but it also has a deeper level revealed through subtext.

The protagonist thinks what is happening to him must be a joke, but the antagonist knows it is not. This comes out through subtext to the point where the protagonist finally realizes the truth, which is this is no joke, it’s dead serious.

Playing with dialogue structure can lead to scenes with outstanding dialogue.

It’s pretty cool to play around with.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Elevated Dialogue!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how every character in a script should be like real people and that means each character is an individual, each separate and apart from each other.

This means each character should speak with his or her own voice. Some lines of dialogue are going to be generic, but the characters themselves should not be generic.

They require their own unique dialogue depending on their own unique character traits and the circumstances they find themselves in.

What a character needs and wants at any given time dictates how they act and what they say. It is up to us writers to write dialogue that fits each character at the time they say the lines.

I continue to go through each character in my script and make sure each line they speak fits who they are and what is going on in that scene.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal Elevated Interest!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to elevate interest in key scenes.

One way I elevated interest was to increase the suspense and intensity of a key scene.

This comes down to timing, how and when something happens. If a character is experiencing distress, go ahead and give them even more right in the middle. Something unexpected, something intense. I have a scene where the police are questioning my antagonist.

To increase interest, I extended the length of time the police confront him. Just when you think they are done and about to leave, I have them return or ask another question. The antagonist tries everything to get rid of them, but nothing works.

In the middle of all that, I have the protagonist call him at a very inopportune time. Now the antagonist has to deal with two bad situations at once. This ups the stakes and suspense.

Elevating interest goes hand in hand with elevating emotion.

Doing so keeps the audience engaged throughout the story. We never want them to lose interest, so pile those interest techniques on each scene!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Elevated Emotion!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to elevate the emotional experience for the audience. How do we do this? Remember, the reader and audience is experiencing a story.

Do we want to bore them to sleep or entertain the crap out of them? My mandate as a writer is to provide maximum entertainment to the reader/audience.

Providing entertainment means giving the audience the most emotional experience possible.

Present a relatable story with relatable characters and put those characters through an emotionally packed journey and take the audience along for the ride.

I challenge my characters all the way through the story. Turn up the heat and set to boil!

Do not let a character off easy. Increase their stress and the audience will feel it.

I went through my script and made sure every scene delivers the most emotion possible.

How did I do this? Made sure to raise the stakes, increase conflict, up the suspense, and alternate between hope and fear.

If you are writing a thriller, you better thrill the audience, a comedy, make them laugh, horror, scare the crap out of them.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Dramatic Reveals!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to elevate reveals. A reveal is something we are hiding from the audience or something a character is hiding from other characters that comes out later.

To make a reveal dramatic requires it be setup in such a way that the audience demands to know what happens next. The writer plants little setups or hints then hits the audience hard with a twist or surprise they weren’t expecting. The bigger and more dramatic we can make it the better.

Most of my dramatic reveals were in my outline and it was fun turning them into reality in the script.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal Loves Character Depth!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to add depth to my characters. What we want are full characters that contain depth. A character with depth has a lot going on under the surface. We see how they act on the surface, but those actions gain strength when they are motivated by what is going on under the surface.

Characters hide things from themselves and others. Things they don’t want to admit or reveal. One way they surface is through triggers. Something causes them to reveal things.

Conflict acts as a great way to trigger a character. Conflict makes them react. The greater the threat or conflict, the greater the potential reaction.

Characters have secrets. What are they hiding and what makes them come out in the open?

The deeper the secret, the more it takes to get a character to reveal it, and if you push hard and long enough, this secret can be explosive.

What I learned is to push my characters to the limit and then beyond. Depth creates interest.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Hi all,

I’m ready to exchange scripts for feedback.

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid
A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will
entertain audiences around the world.

Title: TRAPPED

<div>Written By: Farrin Rosenthal</div>

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal Solved Scene Problems!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is to solve scene problems. These can be scenes that lack enough conflict or are not interesting. Or might not advance the story.

It’s funny, during Hal’s last two Saturday calls, I had breakthroughs while he was explaining the lessons. Both times, the answer came to me as Hal spoke. Thank you, Hal!

Your voice puts us all in a zen state, and we just blossom with creativity.

For this lesson, I found one scene that was lacking in enough interest. It actually had the right elements, but I had put them in the wrong place in the scene.

It’s all about timing, when something happens in a scene. Comedy, drama, scares, and thrills all need perfect timing to be the most effective they can be.

I moved one action from an earlier part of the scene to a later part (where it created the most drama) and that made all the difference. Timing, I tells ya!

My scenes are looking pretty good so far. I know my characters and dialogue need work, so I’m looking forward to the next lessons!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal is Cliché Busting!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is to find cliché scenes or characters, which are recognizable from other movies, and brainstorm ways to make these scenes and characters unique or different, something we have not seen before.

The main cliché I found takes place early in my script where a van cuts off the protagonist’s car and kidnappers pour out of the van and take hostages.

The cliché is how the van stops the other vehicle. They just cut it off in traffic and force the car to stop. I’ve seen versions of that a million times in movies and TV shows.

My new version has someone open the van door and throw a spike strip in front of the protagonist’s car, which stops the car when all four tires blow out. We’ve seen plenty of scenes where the police deploy a spike strip, but I don’t recall seeing one where the bad guys use this technique.

When you bust a cliché it stands out because we recognize it as being new, different, or unique.

I will search for other clichés in my script and bust those suckers too.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal Solved Character Problems!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is after we have found and solved all major structure issues, it’s time to address character problems. Reading through my script, I found my Russian characters did not sound like English was their second language. During my high speed first draft, I did not worry about that at all and just wrote their dialogue.

Now, in the 2nd draft, the main character problem is the dialogue is not tailored to each character. So this week, I worked on making the Russian’s English dialogue sound realistic. I could hear them speak in my mind, hear the dialogue in that Russian accent, and now it’s 95% improved! Was really fun to do too.

Like any structure issues I may have missed, I will continue to look for any other character problems and fix all that I find. Second draft is looking pretty good so far.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Structure Solutions!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is the second draft is the time to discover and fix any major problems in the first draft. What I found in my first draft while I was writing it was a 3rd act that was too thin. Going from outline to script made this obvious, so I actually addressed my big structure problems during the first draft and added some scenes that added intrigue and suspense, hope and fear. Was really fun to write, and this meant not having any real major structure issues to address in my 2nd draft, which is pretty cool. I will continue to dig deep as I dive into the 2nd draft to see if I am overlooking anything.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal Has Finished Act 4!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is you have to finish what you start. If you start a first draft, finish it! The key is to just do it and not worry about it being perfect. It’s not going to be perfect and that’s okay. Perfection is the last step, not the first.

The closer to the end I got, the more I wanted to finish. I wrote more my last two days than any other days because I wanted so badly to finish.

There was no question about it. This was something I was going to do. And I did!

First draft is done! I’m happy! I stepped out of my comfort zone and wrote a thriller, which is far different from my normal comedy scripts.

But I vowed, I will do whatever it takes to make my vision real. I’m on my way!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal Continues Act 4

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how you can’t really start a second draft unless you finish the first. I’ve never had a problem finishing any first draft I’ve written. Why? Because I either had an outline to work from or at least knew the ending of the story. When you know how it ends you can fill in everything that leads up to that point.

At I continue writing act 4 of the first draft, I had the last scene written before the climax scenes before it. I did not know exactly what was going to happen in the climax. There is a fight, but what happens in the fight? How exactly would it play out? The only way to know is just dive in and write it!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal started Act 4

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is we’re getting close to the finish line. Act 4 is the ultimate expression of our story’s conflict. I’ve found writing the start and end of act 4 easy, and have already written the ending. The hardest part is writing the ultimate conflict part between the antagonist and protagonist. My story includes a twist where the antagonist for most of the story turns out not to be the ultimate antagonist, so the protagonist has to defeat this new antagonist at the end. I haven’t figured out exactly how that happens. I just have some of it from my outline, but the details won’t come until I dive in and write that scene, Meanwhile, I was able to go back and start filling in the missing pieces in act 3. I love the freedom the high speed writing rules give us. It means we can write out of order, so one day we can write the ending, then the next write a scene in act 2 or anywhere else we skipped over knowing the answers would come later and guess what? They did.

By the way, I’ve already finished my first draft! I will detail how act 4 went when subsequent assignments are available.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal is Finishing Act 3

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is mistakes happen when speed writing and it’s okay. Why? Because we know this is just the first draft and we will have a chance to fix all mistakes later. As I finish writing act 3, I’m discovering it’s made of Swiss cheese, meaning it’s full of holes. And any holes I can’t fix, I’ll deal with later. Meanwhile, I’m moving ahead into act 4 and will write the scenes there I can write fast. This is a bad analogy, but the train has lost it brakes and nothing can stop it. Moving ahead no matter what.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal is Continuing Act 3

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is to keep going no matter what. As I write my third act, I’m finding my act 3 outline is thin, meaning something is missing. The good news is as I write each scene, new ideas are coming to me, which allows me to expand the act to a more proper length. And if I can’t figure out a scene, I skip ahead to scenes I can write fast. Then I backtrack and fill in those scenes I skipped. Zooming to act 4!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal Began Act 3

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment to is silence our inner critic, especially when writing a first draft. Remember, the first daft is a 30% draft, and therefore will most likely suck. Save the inner critic for the last draft and even then treat yourself right. You’ve accomplished something amazing. Made something from a blank page!

As I begin writing Act 3, I’m finding holes in my outline. This is really what I should be doing in the second draft but some things just become obvious now. I am creating new scenes while sticking to the outline where the new scenes still honor the story and high concept.

Nothing will stop me from completing this first draft!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal Completed Act 2

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is to write and not worry about great quality. That comes later. Now, the focus is on speed, not quality. Write at 30% and empower yourself first, then the pages will flow.

Act 2 draft 1 is done!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal is Continuing Act 2

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is to not fall into the trap of wordsmithing during the first draft. It will slow you down and make you think a scene is perfect when you have three more drafts to make it perfect.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal Began Act 2

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is if you put a clock or deadline on something it pushes you to act! Sit down, set a timer or deadline and you’re off to the races, creating when you didn’t think you could. So cool!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Finished Act 1

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is some scenes will flow faster than others, some will be easier to write and some harder. The key is to not let harder scenes stop you. Just write it or skip to another scene you can write faster, then come back later to the harder scene.

Act 1 done!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Next Act 1 Scenes

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is to just keep going and that is what I’m doing!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Act 1 First Draft Part 1

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how fear slows you down. Sometimes we don’t know the answers or how to write a scene and that scares us, but when we forget all that and know things are not to be perfect in a first draft it frees us to just write, just create. We don’t know all the answers, so what? Keep writing! Go from outline to first draft. Let it happen by making it happen. Slowly, we will get into it and the writing will start to flow and take us places we did not think possible. Key is to stick to the outline and concept always! I finished writing some “setup” scenes where I did not know all the answers and just started writing it. Taking time to reflect and process filled in some of the answers and allowed me to write the scene. Is it good or do I have all the answers? No, does it suck? No, it’s good, but not great, and that’s okay. I have now completed writing the first draft of act 1. It was rough going in spots where I had to brainstorm and figure out exactly what happens in the scene, but knowing it did not have to be great or perfect allowed me to just write and complete it. After that, I felt liberated and in that state found myself just flowing through the pages. Sticking to the outline, but having no idea really what the characters were going to say, I started to get into the characters, let them speak through me, and bam! I came up with some cool shit, surprising stuff, something I had not planned or thought about, but came to me in the moment, during the writing. It’s so cool when that happens. It’s why I write. Lesson learned, flow, baby, flow, but stay within the outline, stay on concept, stay on track. Keep moving forward no matter what.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s High Speed Writing Rules

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how valuable these rules are to writing a first draft. Choose speed over quality. If I find myself stuck or slowing down, I remind myself the first draft is a vomit draft. It’s going to smell and look gross, but at least it’s written. Improvement will come in next drafts. Stay empowered! I can do this and will do this! So important to know and feel this. I don’t know all the answers at this stage. So what? Write what you do have and go from there, filling in the blanks along the way. Keep moving forward and know that your creative mind will always be working behind the scene to help solve problems. So cool when you allow yourself to process and do that! Moving forward!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s First Scene

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how not to get stuck early on when we don’t have all the answers. If a first draft is only 30% quality, then we are free to just write and not worry about perfection. That comes last. My first scene sets up my story, acts as a teaser, so it is very important. I struggled a little bit because of how crucial it is, and for me, starting a first draft from page one is the hardest part. But I allowed myself to just write it and not worry how good it is. Drafts two, three, and four will improve every scene we write now in the first draft, so just do it and move forward!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Hi all,

I’m looking to do one more feedback exchange on my thriller outline.

Please contact me here or by email if you would like to exchange outlines. Thank you.

Title: TRAPPED

Written By: Farrin Rosenthal

Email: write4film@aol.com

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Fascinating Scene Outlines!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to create interest in every scene using specific interest techniques. To do this, we must make sure the beginning, middle, and ending of every scene uses interest techniques. This ensures the scene will be interesting from beginning to end. Do this with every scene and the entire script will be interesting. Our job now is to make each scene as interesting as possible.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

1. INT. BOX – DAY

Beginning: (Intrigue) Pitch darkness. Sound of someone (Tom) breathing.

Middle: (Surprise) Ringing from a loud cellphone startles him. He answers and uses the light to see that he is trapped inside a coffin-like box.

Ending: (Mystery) Who and why he is in the box? Russian on phone asks if man is ready to confess.

SUPER: TWO HOURS EARLIER

2. EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL STADIUM – DAY

Beginning: (Intrigue) Oh, here is Tom and his family before he is trapped in a box. Tom and his wife, Susan, clap and cheer in the stands. Their daughter leads the cheerleading squad in a routine.

Middle: (Uncertainty) Football game, son’s team is down 2 points, last play coming up. Tom’s son comes on the field to attempt a field goal to win the game. The distance is five yards further than any field goal he’s ever made. Will he kick the winning field goal?

Ending: (Suspense) Tom’s son kicks the ball, it soars towards the goal, it’s straight, but is it long enough? The ball hits the post and bounces in for the winning score!

3. EXT. FAST-FOOD DRIVE-THRU – DAY

Tom pulls his SUV into the drive-thru lane behind two other cars. The SUV has a Ukrainian flag sticker on back window along with my kids are honor students at ? High School sticker. Also has a family sticker showing two parents, daughter, son, and dog.

Beginning: (Intrigue) Same guy whose Ukrainian flag on SUV is in the box, put there by a Russian?

4. INT. SUV – DAY

They discuss the game as Tom waits for other cars to move forward so they can order. Fast-food worker greets them when they are next.

Middle: (Uncomfortable Moment) Celebration about football win turns ugly when Tom and his wife get into a heated argument over his penny-pinching when he says they can only order from the dollar menu. In middle of argument, a car honks behind them, and the fast-food worker says, “I’ll give you another minute.”

Ending: (Surprise) Tom agrees they are celebrating son’s big accomplishment, changes mind, says son can order anything on the menu, but not anybody else.

5. EXT. STREET – DAY

Driving down the street still arguing trying to eat when…

Beginning: (Surprise) A black van swerves in front of them and stops!

6. INT. SUV – DAY

Susan yells for Tom to look out! Fries go flying as Tom jams on the brakes to avoid a collision.

Middle: (Suspense) Can Tom stop in time to avoid a collision?

7. EXT. STREET – DAY

A second van blocks them from behind and a third skids to a stop to their side. Masked gunmen rush out of the vans, smash Tom’s window when he refuses to open the door. The gunmen grab Tom, Susan and the kids. Tom tries to stop them but is knocked out.

End: (Intrigue/Mystery) Who are these masked gunmen and why are they kidnapping Tom and his family?

8. INT. BOX – DAY

Beginning: (Intrigue/Uncertainty) Tom back in the box. Dmitriy tells Tom where he is and why. Tom is (at the bottom of a pool) accused of stealing $3.6 billion from a Russian mob boss who is holding Tom’s family hostage.

Middle: (Uncomfortable Moment) Tom says they must have the wrong guy, he doesn’t even own a pool, is just a Staples store manager in Van Nuys.

Ending: (Superior Position) Dmitriy says I know exactly who you are, Tom Carter, indicating this is no mistake.

9. INT. STAPLES STORE – MANAGER’S OFFICE – DAY

Beginning: (Intrigue) Tom adjusts his name tag, which reads, TOM CARTER – MANAGER as he interviews a potential new employee when…

10. EXT. STAPLES STORE – DAY

A man wearing a hoodie on a hot day grabs a shopping cart and enters the store.

11. INT. STAPLES – DAY

Middle: (Suspense) The security guard warns the store manager, Tom, they have a “live one.” Tom walks out of his office, starts to surveil the man. Tom coordinates other employees to keep an eye on him. Tom confronts the man when he attempts to steal a laptop. Tries to talk him out of stealing it, but…

Ending: (Surprise/Uncertainty) The man pulls a knife. Tom protects the customers, employees, and himself as the man becomes erratic and makes a run for the exit. Tom barely avoids being stabbed and knocks the laptop out of the man’s hand, but the thief escapes.

12. INT. BOX – DAY

Beginning: (Intrigue/Suspense/Uncertainty) Dmitriy tells Tom he and his family have 60 minutes to live unless Tom confesses.

13. INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy shows Tom his family is tied and gagged.

14. INT. BOX – DAY

Tom doesn’t believe he is at the bottom of a pool, could be anywhere. Tells Dmitriy to prove it.

15. INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy orders his brother to dive into the pool and knock on the box. Ivan resists until Dmitriy insists. Ivan takes off his shirt, revealing his muscular body. Susan notices.

16. EXT. MANSION – DAY

Ivan dives into the pool.

17. INT. BOX – DAY

Middle: (Uncomfortable Moment/Uncertainty) Tom hears the knocking on outside of box. Still doesn’t prove he is underwater, but Tom starts to have a panic attack.

18. INT. ELEVATOR – DAY

Tom gets stuck in an elevator as a teenager, emergency phone doesn’t work, he yells for help, none comes, he panics, pisses himself. Rescuers finally pry the elevator doors open.

19. INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy tries to get Tom to focus on his happy place. Tom says he doesn’t have one. Susan recognizes Tom is having a panic attack, gets phone, helps Tom calm down, take deep breathes, and look into her eyes, focus on day they got married.

20. EXT. HAWAII – DAY

Wedding on the beach near the ocean with a picture-perfect sunset. Family and friends in attendance. Tom stares lovingly into Susan’s eyes, the happiest day of his life.

21. INT. BOX – DAY

Ending: (Uncomfortable Moment) Tom calms down, but how calm can one get trapped in a box?

22. INT. MANSION – DAY

Beginning: (Suspense) As time ticks down, Dmitriy yanks the phone back. Asks Tom if he is ready to confess.

23. INT. BOX – DAY

No, Tom didn’t do anything.

24. INT. MANSION – DAY

Middle: (Intrigue) Dmitriy tells Tom he knows about Tom’s ties to Ukraine and his hated of Russia, and his computer programming background, started at Staples in the tech department repairing computers.

25. INT. BOX – DAY

Ending: (Mystery/Uncertainty) Yes, his great-grandparents lived in Ukraine and emigrated to America over 100 years ago, so what? Facts point to reasons why Tom could be guilty, but he says they don’t prove he is.

26. INT. MANSION – DAY

Beginning: (Uncomfortable Moment) Tom’s daughter tries to say something but is gagged. Says she has to use the bathroom.

27. INT. MANSION – BATHROOM – DAY

Middle: (Uncertainty) Tom’s daughter shuts door, quickly slides open the bathroom window, sees a Russian standing guard, gun in his waistband. There is no easy escape!

Ending: (Surprise) Ivan bangs on the door, makes her pee with door open.

28. INT. BOX – DAY

Beginning: (Intrigue/Suspense) Dmitriy calls, threatens Tom’s family. Tom says he will fucking kill Dmitriy if he hurts them. Big words from someone trapped in a box.

29. INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy threatens to rape them instead, even the dog.

30. INT. BOX – DAY

Middle: (Uncertainty) Tom cusses Dmitriy out and Dmitriy disconnects call saying you have 35 minutes left. Tom ponders what to do, calls 911, is put on hold.

31. INT. MANSION – DAY

Tom’s son says he now has to pee. Dmitriy tells him to hold it, should have gone before they left. Son says he can’t hold it, didn’t know some asshole was going to kidnap them.

32. INT. BOX – DAY

911 operator finally comes on and Tom tells her what is happening. He realizes he has no idea where he is. Police can’t help or find him, only know general area where he is.

33. EXT. MANSION – DAY

A police car on routine patrol approaches, then continues down the street, does not turn around.

34. INT. BOX – DAY

Ending: (Major Twist/Suspense) Tom feels something, shines phone light at box, sees water leaking into the box. Calls Dmitriy in a panic.

35. INT. MANSION – DAY

Beginning: (Uncertainty/Suspense) Dmitriy does nothing to help if Tom refuses to confess. Guess you believe me now about the pool.

36. INT. BOX – DAY

Nothing Tom is saying or doing to escape works. Pounds side of box in frustration. Water keeps rising, time and air running out.

37. INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy can’t get Tom to confess as water keeps rising, touches Tom’s wife in a suggestive and sexual way. This upsets Ivan.

38. INT. BOX – DAY

Middle: (Uncomfortable Moment/Suspense) More desperate, Tom tries to be tougher, as water fills half the box.

39. INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy is unmoved, hurts Tom’s kids, backhands Tom’s son when he talks back.

40. INT. BOX – DAY

Ending: (Suspense/Internal Dilemma) When tension is at its peak, at the very last second, water at its highest point in the box, Tom finally confesses. Then, time runs out, water fills the box completely. Will Tom drown?

41. EXT. MANSION – DAY

Beginning: (Suspense) Dmitriy runs outside, orders Tom be freed from box. Can they free him in time?

42. INT. BOX – DAY

Middle: (Uncertainty) The box opens, no movement from inside for several long seconds, then Tom bursts out of the water, gasps for breath.

43. EXT. MANSION – DAY

Ending: (Surprise) When Tom recovers somewhat, Dmitriy punches Tom in the stomach. Tom falls to his knees in pain. “Steal from me? That’s just the beginning of what’s going to happen to you now.” He points gun at Tom, escorts him inside.

44. INT. MANSION -DAY

Beginning: (Uncertianty/Intrigue/Betrayal/Surprise) Tells Tom to access the accounts with the stolen Bitcoin or he can watch his family die slowly.

Tom learns the truth while pretending to access the stolen accounts.

Middle: (Suspense/Betrayal/Surprise) Ivan pulls a gun on Dmitriy who is shocked to learn his brother betrayed him, they fight, Dmitriy pummels Ivan and looks like he will win easily, but Ivan somehow turns the tables and kills his brother.

Tom tries to protect his family as the Russian brothers fight, sees Ivan kill Dmitriy.

Tom confronts Ivan, after learning of his wife’s betrayal, that she and the Russian are having an affair and are the masterminds behind everything. Now it’s a fight to the death. Tom kills Ivan with a little help from his kids.

Tom and his kids are safe.

45. INT. BOX – DAY

Ending: (Major Twist/Surprise) Susan is now in the box screaming, right where the bitch belongs.

46. EXT. MANSION – DAY

All assets are in Tom’s name, so he is now a billionaire. The garage door slowly opens, and Tom pulls out in a Ferrari with a big smile on his face. Speeds down the street into the sunset.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Scene Requirements

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to create real depth and meaning to my scenes so they deliver on multiple levels using a scene arc, essence, conflict, subtext, and hope/fear. What is each scene about and trying to accomplish? What conflict happens in the scene? What is happening below the surface? What hopes and fears does the audience have for the protagonist? Most of my scenes intercut and tie together in a larger sequence, so most of my scene requirements are really sequence requirements. This means, I have to not only make sure each scene works within the sequence but make sure the sequence itself works on a profound and deep level. This is complicated but fun to figure out. Still have much to do, however, the pieces of a large puzzle are starting to come together and I am excited!

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

INT. BOX – DAY

Tom wakes up in pitch darkness. His breathing becomes heavy. Ringing from a loud cellphone startles him. He answers and uses the light to see that he is trapped inside a coffin-like box. A man with an accent asks if Tom is ready to confess.

Scene Arc: From Tom awakening in a box to what led up to that point including being kidnapped.

Essence: See Tom’s normal life, then he and his family being kidnapped.

Conflict: Tom and Susan argue over money, then Tom tries to fight off kidnappers.

Subtext: Who is kidnapping them and why?

Hope/Fear: We hope Tom and his family will be safe but fear for their safety.

SUPER: TWO HOURS EARLIER

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL STADIUM – DAY

Tom and his wife, Susan clapping in the stands. Tom’s son lines up and kicks winning field goal, as Tom’s daughter leads the cheerleading squad.

EXT. FAST-FOOD DRIVE-THRU – DAY

Tom pulls his SUV into the drive-thru lane behind two other cars.

INT. SUV – DAY

They discuss the game as Tom waits for other cars to move forward so they can order. Fast-food worker greets them when they are next. Tom and his wife Susan get into a heated argument over his penny-pinching when he says they can only order from the dollar menu.

EXT. STREET – DAY

Driving down the street still arguing trying to eat when a black van cuts them off.

INT. SUV – DAY

Susan yells for Tom to look out! Fries go flying as Tom jams on the brakes to avoid a collision.

EXT. STREET – DAY

A second van blocks them from behind and a third skids to a stop to their side. Masked gunmen rush out of the vans, smash Tom’s window when he refuses to open the door. The gunmen grab Tom, Susan and the kids. Tom tries to stop them but is knocked out.

INT. BOX – DAY

Tom finds out where he is (at the bottom of a pool) and that he is accused of stealing $3.6 billion from a Russian mob boss who is holding Tom’s family hostage. Tom tells him they must have the wrong guy; he doesn’t own a pool and is just a Van Nuys Staples store manager. Mob boss says I know exactly who you are, Tom Carter.

Scene Arc: From Tom finding out where he is and why he is trapped to seeing how he handles a stressful situation at work.

Essence: Tom says they have the wrong man, he’s just a store manager.

Conflict: Tom confronts a store thief.

Subtext: Dmitriy knows more than Tom realizes.

Hope/Fear: We hope Tom can stop the thief but fear he will be stabbed with a knife.

INT. STAPLES STORE – MANAGER’S OFFICE – DAY

Tom is interviewing a potential employee or doing?, adjusts his name tag, which reads, TOM CARTER – MANAGER.

EXT. STAPLES STORE – DAY

A man wearing a hoodie on a hot day grabs a shopping cart and enters the store.

INT. STAPLES – DAY

The security guard warns the store manager, Tom, they have a “live one.” Tom walks out of his office, starts to surveil the man. Tom coordinates other employees to keep an eye on him. Tom confronts the man when he attempts to steal a laptop. Tries to talk him out of stealing it, but the man pulls a knife. Tom protects the customers, employees, and himself as the man becomes erratic and makes a run for the exit. Tom barely avoids being stabbed and knocks the laptop out of the man’s hand, but the thief escapes.

INT. BOX – DAY

Dmitriy tells Tom he and his family have 60 minutes to live unless Tom confesses.

Scene Arc: From Tom finding he and his family have 60 minutes to live to a full-on panic.

Essence: Tom told to confess or he and his family will die. Tom has panic attack.

Conflict: Dmitriy threatens to kill Tom and his family.

Subtext: Dmitriy thinks he is in control but is being played.

Hope/Fear: We hope Tom and his family will be safe but fear for their safety.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy shows Tom his family is tied and gagged.

INT. BOX – DAY

Tom doesn’t believe he is at the bottom of a pool, could be anywhere. Tells Dmitriy to prove it.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy orders his brother to dive into the pool and knock on the box. Ivan resists until Dmitriy insists.

EXT. MANSION – DAY

Ivan dives into the pool.

INT. BOX – DAY

Tom hears the knocking on outside of box. Still doesn’t prove he is underwater, but Tom starts to have a panic attack.

INT. ELEVATOR – DAY

Tom gets stuck in an elevator as a teenager, emergency phone doesn’t work, he yells for help, none comes, he panics, pisses himself.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy tries to get Tom to focus on his happy place. Tom says he doesn’t have one. Susan recognizes Tom is having a panic attack, gets phone, helps Tom calm down, take deep breathes, and look into her eyes, focus on day they got married.

EXT. HAWAII – DAY

Wedding on the beach near the ocean with a picture-perfect sunset. Family and friends in attendance. Tom stares lovingly into Susan’s eyes, the happiest day of his life.

INT. BOX – DAY

Tom calms down.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy yanks the phone back. Asks Tom if he is ready to confess.

INT. BOX – DAY

No, Tom didn’t do anything.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy tells Tom he knows about Tom’s ties to Ukraine and his hated of Russia, and his computer programming background, started at Staples in the tech department repairing computers.

INT. BOX – DAY

Yes, his great-grandparents lived in Ukraine and emigrated to America over 100 years ago, so what? Facts point to reasons why Tom could be guilty, but he says they don’t prove he is.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Tom’s daughter tries to say something but is gagged. Says she has to go to the bathroom.

Scene Arc: From Tom’s daughter having to pee to her finding out there is no easy escape.

Essence: Tom’s daughter tries to escape but can’t.

Conflict: Kidnappers in total control.

Subtext: Dmitriy controls the situation, for now.

Hope/Fear: We hope Tom’s daughter can escape and get help but fear she will be caught.

INT. MANSION – BATHROOM – DAY

Tom’s daughter shuts door, quickly slides open the bathroom window, sees a Russian standing guard, gun in his waistband. Ivan bangs on the door, makes her pee with door open.

INT. BOX – DAY

Dmitriy calls, threatens Tom’s family. Tom says he will fucking kill Dmitriy if he hurts them. Big words from someone trapped in a box.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy threatens to rape them instead, even the dog.

INT. BOX – DAY

Tom cusses Dmitriy out and Dmitriy disconnects call saying you have 45 minutes left. Tom ponders what to do, calls 911, is put on hold.

Scene Arc: From Tom trying to escape his box to water leaking in.

Essence: Tom tries to get help from the police.

Conflict: Dmitriy threatening to harm Tom’s family.

Subtext: Dmitriy still has the upper hand, but for how long?

Hope/Fear: We hope Tom can reach the police and get help but fear they won’t find him in time.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Tom’s son says he now has to pee. Dmitriy tells him to hold it, should have gone before they left. Son says he can’t hold it, didn’t know some asshole was going to kidnap them.

INT. BOX – DAY

911 operator finally comes on and Tom tells her what is happening. He realizes he has no idea where he is. Police can’t help or find him, only know general area where he is.

EXT. MANSION – DAY

A police car on routine patrol approaches, then continues down the street, does not turn around.

INT. BOX – DAY

Tom feels something, shines phone light at box, sees water leaking into the box. Calls Dmitriy in a panic.

Scene Arc: From water leaking in the box to filling to the top with Tom confessing at the last second.

Essence: Tom’s box fills with water and time runs out!

Conflict: Tom is running out of air and time!

Subtext: Dmitriy can’t let Tom die.

Hope/Fear: We hope Tom can escape but fear he will drown.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy does nothing to help if Tom refuses to confess. Guess you believe me now about the pool.

INT. BOX – DAY

Nothing Tom is saying or doing to escape works. Pounds side of box in frustration. Water keeps rising, time and air running out.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy can’t get Tom to confess as water keeps rising, touches Tom’s wife in a suggestive and sexual way. This upsets Ivan.

INT. BOX – DAY

More desperate, Tom tries to be tougher, as water fills half the box.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy is unmoved, hurts Tom’s kids, backhands Tom’s son when he talks back.

INT. BOX – DAY

When tension is at its peak, at the very last second, water at its highest point in the box, with the least air and space left, Tom finally confesses.

EXT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy runs outside, orders Tom be freed from box.

INT. BOX – DAY

The box opens and Tom gasps for breath.

EXT. MANSION – DAY

Dmitriy points gun at Tom, escorts him inside.

Scene Arc: From Tom escaping the box to learning the truth, then fighting to the death and saving his kids.

Essence: Tom escapes only to learn he has been framed and must fight to the death.

Conflict: Tom fights with Ivan to the death.

Subtext: Dmitriy and Tom are being setup and played.

Hope/Fear: We hope Tom can save his family but fear he will lose.

INT. MANSION -DAY

Tells Tom to access the accounts with the stolen Bitcoin or he can watch his family die slowly.

Tom learns the truth while pretending to access the stolen accounts.

Ivan pulls a gun on Dmitriy who is shocked to learn his brother betrayed him, they fight, Dmitriy pummels Ivan and looks like he will win easily, but Ivan somehow turns the tables and kills his brother.

Tom tries to protect his family as the Russian brothers fight, sees Ivan kill Dmitriy.

Tom confronts Ivan, after learning of his wife’s betrayal, that she and the Russian are having an affair and are the masterminds behind everything. Now it’s a fight to the death. Tom kills Ivan with a little help from his kids.

Tom and his kids are safe.

INT. BOX – DAY

Susan is now in the box screaming, right where the bitch belongs.

EXT. MANSION – DAY

All assets are in Tom’s name, so he is now a
billionaire. The garage door slowly opens, and Tom pulls out in a Ferrari with
a big smile on his face. Speeds down the street into the sunset.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Intriguing Moments

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how using intriguing moments engages the audience on a deep level. Something is going on under the surface and the audience wants to solve the mystery. Because of schemes, conspiracies, secrets, and hidden agendas, the lead characters and the audience will be shocked and surprised when the truth is finally revealed.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

Intriguing Moments

Act 1:

Secret, Covert agenda, Hidden identity, Conspiracy, Scheme: Tom and Susan fight about his penny-pinching ways. Susan is hiding her double-life, her affair with Ivan, a Russian, and the fact the two of them have set up Tom.

Intrigue, Secret, Covert agenda, Hidden identity, Conspiracy, Scheme, Mystery: Tom and his family are kidnapped, but who kidnapped them and why? The Russian mob is behind it.

Intrigue, Secret, Covert agenda, Hidden identity, Conspiracy, Scheme, Superior position, Cover up, Mystery: Tom is trapped in an underwater grave. Why and will he survive? Susan and Ivan have set him up, hiding this fact from everybody, including Ivan’s brother, Dmitriy, the mob boss. Dmitriy conspired and schemed to kidnap Tom and his family. Dmitriy gives Tom 60 minutes to confess to stealing billions from him or Tom and his family will die.

Act 2:

Intrigue, Secret, Covert agenda, Hidden identity, Conspiracy, Scheme, Superior position, Cover up, Mystery: All of these are in play under the surface while Tom must figure out why he is trapped, prove his innocence, and find a way to escape in time to save his family.

Act 3:

Intrigue, Secret, Covert agenda, Hidden identity, Conspiracy, Scheme, Superior position, Cover up, Mystery: All of these are still in play under the surface while Tom’s underwater grave fills with water! Will he survive, how?

Act 4:

Intrigue, Secret, Covert agenda, Hidden identity, Conspiracy, Scheme, Superior position, Cover up, Mystery: The truth comes out. Tom is shocked to find out he was setup by his wife and her lover, Ivan. Dmitriy is shocked his brother betrayed and stole from him. The ultimate fight begins. Who will win?

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Emotional Moments

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how characters must deal with positive and negative emotions. These emotions are what affect the audience and we use them to take both the protagonist and audience on an emotional roller coaster ride. Having strong emotional moments in each act keeps the audience engaged to the point they want to know what will happen next and how the story will end. My story contains many emotional moments and I list the main ones below, but will have to fill in all the ones in between.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

Emotional Moments

Act 1:

Courage: Tom confronts a thief who pulls a knife and must protect the store, employees, and customers. His life and others are at stake.

Sacrifice: Tom gets in a fight with his wife over his penny-pinching ways in front of their kids. This is not the first time it has happened.

Distress: Tom and his family are kidnapped by mysterious figures. Who took them and why?

Act 2:

Distress: Tom is trapped in an underwater grave and has 60 minutes to prove his innocence, or he and his family will die!

Wound: Tom’s confinement triggers his claustrophobia, makes him panic, hyperventilate. We see how he was trapped in an elevator by himself as a teenager.

Courage/Distress: Tom must face his fear to save his family. Seeks help by calling 911 but is put on hold, and once connected, doesn’t know where he is, and police can’t find him. He’s fucked, can’t escape!

Act 3:

Distress: Tom’s underwater grave begins to fill with what else? Water! His fucked factor is increasing!

Courage: Tom tries to stand up to Dmitriy but fails.

Emotional Dilemma/Sacrifice: With time and air running out, Tom must lie and confess at the very last second to something he did not do to escape. Water fills the box completely; he must hold breath. Will he survive?

Act 4:

Betrayal/Distress: Tom is shocked to find out he was setup by his wife and her lover, Ivan!

Courage/Love: Tom must fight Ivan to the death to protect his kids.

Success/Winning: Tom kills Ivan, saves his kids,
and his betraying bitch of a wife ends up in the underwater grave where she
belongs!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Reveals!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how reveals can surprise and shock the audience. For a reveal to be effective it must be setup, but the setup does always need to come first. For example, my script starts with a reveal, then shows the setup to that reveal, but the reveal provokes a question for the character and audience, so it also acts as a setup to answer later in a reveal. So, a reveal can also act as a setup that will lead to more reveals and setups later. My outline so far already contains most of my major setups and reveals. I will need to add more setup hints in the form of dialogue and visuals later on. *** Hints
to add: the way Susan and Ivan look at each other, Susan wears iFit shirt hinting at how she met Ivan,
Ukraine flag sticker on Tom’s SUV window showing his support and we will find out his ancestors came from there, and possible reason why he would steal from a Russian.

Tom Carter Core Traits: Claustrophobic, Risk-adverse, Stubborn, Protector, Controlling, Humorous (to cope).

Dmitriy Core Traits: Ruthless, Intelligent, Driven, Insecure, Know-it-all.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

Major Act 1 Setup: Tom and family are kidnapped.

Major Act 1 Reveal: We find out why. Tom is accused of stealing from a Russian mob boss.

Act 1: Tom and his family are kidnapped.

Tom PJ 1: Tom wakes up trapped in a dark box, doesn’t know where he is or why.

Tom PJ 2: We see Tom’s old ways and how they affect his family. Tom works with his store employees and security guard to surveil a “live one.” Tom sees thief steal something, confronts the robber, blocks his exit, tries to get robber to give up what he stole. Robber pulls a knife, which turns Tom from protecting the merchandise to protecting employees, customers, and himself. When robber tries to run, Tom knocks stolen item loose and narrowly avoids being stabbed.

Tom PJ 3: Tom drives an 8-year-old SUV into fast-food drive-thru, shows his penny-pinching ways, telling family they can order anything from the dollar menu, on a budget, can’t spend more than $20-25.

Inciting Incident: Tom and his family are kidnapped by hooded figures. Who are they?

Dmitriy AJ 1: Orders two cars cut off and surround Tom’s car. Hooded figures kidnap Tom and his family.

Tom PJ 4: Tom and his family are kidnapped. Tom tries to fight off kidnappers who grab his kids, but fails, is taken along with them.

Deeper Layer: Tom doesn’t know who the kidnappers are or why they were taken.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Anticipation

Turning Point: Tom finds out where he is (at the bottom of a pool) and that he is accused of stealing $3.6 billion from a Russian mob boss who is holding Tom’s family hostage.

Tom PJ 5: Tom learns he and his family have 60 minutes to live unless Tom confesses.

Tom PJ 5a: Tom doesn’t even own a house with a pool, says he’s just a store manager in Van Nuys, the shithole of the valley (go to Tom PJ 2 – robbery), nor believes he is at bottom of one, could be anywhere, needs proof.

Dmitriy AJ 2: Dmitriy tells Tom he and his family have 60 minutes to live unless Tom confesses, shows Tom his family tied and gagged.

Dmitriy AJ 2a: Orders Ivan to dive into pool and knock on box. Ivan doesn’t want to but Dmitriy makes him.

Major Act 2 Setup: Tom is trapped in an underwater grave and has 60 minutes to escape.

Major Act 2 Reveal: We find out why. Tom is accused of stealing from a Russian mob boss.

Act 2: Tom is trapped in a watery grave.

Tom PJ 6: Realizing just how trapped he is, Tom’s claustrophobia starts to overwhelm him, see him trapped in an elevator as a kid, trying to open doors, call for help, but elevator phone doesn’t work, pound on door, screams for help, panics, must sit down, pees himself? Susan, Tom’s wife must step in and help, gets Tom to focus on the day they got married in Hawaii.

Dmitriy AJ 3: Dmitriy continues to try to get Tom to confess, but Tom is overcome with claustrophobia. Dmitriy ungags Susan, allows her to use phone to help Tom.

Tom PJ 7: See Tom and Susan’s wedding in Hawaii.

Tom PJ 8: Tom now able to focus, but can’t talk his way out of box, threats against his family increase. Tom calls police. He doesn’t know where he is, police can’t find him, his plans fail.

Dmitriy AJ 4: Dmitriy ups his threats against Tom’s family, threatens to rape and kill them, even the dog.

Deeper Layer Reveal: Tom finds out a Russian mob boss kidnapped them and is told why.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Suspense, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Tension, Anticipation

Midpoint Turning Point: Tom’s box slowly starts to fill with water.

Major Act 3 Setup: Tom is trapped in an underwater grave.

Major Act 3 Reveal: Which starts to fill with water!

Act 3: Tom is still trapped and now water is rising.

Tom PJ 9: Nothing Tom is saying or doing to escape works. Pounds side of box in frustration. Water keeps rising, time and air running out.

Dmitriy AJ 5: Dmitriy can’t get Tom to confess as water keeps rising, time and air running out. Touches Tom’s wife in a suggestive and sexual way. This upsets Ivan.

Tom PJ 10: More desperate, Tom tries to be tougher.

Dmitriy AJ 6: Dmitriy is unmoved as Tom tries to act tougher, hurts Tom’s kids, backhands Tom’s son when he talks back.

Deeper Layer: Dmitriy and Tom don’t know they have both been manipulated by Tom’s wife and her lover.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Suspense, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Tension, Anticipation

Turning Point: When tension is at its peak, at the very last second, water at its highest point in the box, with the least air and space left, Tom finally confesses.

Major Act 4 Setup: Tom escapes the underwater grave.

Major Act 4 Reveal: But finds out he was setup by his wife and her lover!

Act 4: Tom escapes.

Dmitriy AJ 7: Dmitriy runs outside, orders Tom be freed from box.

Tom PJ 11: Tom is let out of the box with seconds to spare.

Dmitriy AJ 8: Dmitriy points gun at Tom, tells him to access the accounts with the stolen Bitcoin or he can watch his family die slowly.

Tom PJ 12: Tom learns the truth while pretending to access the stolen accounts.

Dmitriy AJ 9: Dmitriy is shocked to learn his brother Ivan betrayed him, they fight, Dmitriy pummels Ivan and looks like he will win easily, but Ivan somehow turns the tables and kills his brother.

Tom PJ 13: Tom tries to protect his family as the Russian brothers fight, sees Ivan kill Dmitriy.

Tom PJ 14: Tom confronts Ivan, after learning of his wife’s betrayal, that she and the Russian are having an affair and are the masterminds behind everything. Now it’s a fight to the death. Tom kills Ivan with a little help from his kids.

Deeper Layer Reveal: Tom learns his wife is having an affair with Ivan and that they framed him. Dmitriy learns of his brother’s betrayal.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Suspense, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Tension, Surprise, Anticipation

Resolution: Victory and death.

Tom PJ 15: Tom and his kids are safe, wife is now in the box screaming, right where the bitch belongs, all assets are in Tom’s name, so he is now a billionaire.

Dmitriy AJ 10: Dmitriy is dead.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Character Action Tracks!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how actors choose roles for many reasons, but especially because they want to become that character, do the things they do and say the things they say. How a character acts should come from who that character is, using the character’s profile and traits. My protagonist is trapped in a tight space for 3/4 of the story, so the physical actions he can take are restricted, therefore, every other scene we see him outside the box should reveal actions based on his traits. Same with my antagonist. Most of the story will consist of verbal sparring with Tom, but he can take actions and does.

Tom Carter Core Traits: Claustrophobic, Risk-adverse, Stubborn, Protector, Controlling, Humorous (to cope).

Dmitriy Core Traits: Ruthless, Intelligent, Driven, Insecure, Know-it-all.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

Act 1: Tom and his family are kidnapped.

Tom PJ 1: Tom wakes up trapped in a dark box, doesn’t know where he is or why.

Tom PJ 2: We see Tom’s old ways and how they affect his family. Tom works with his store employees and security guard to surveil a “live one.” Tom sees thief steal something, confronts the robber, blocks his exit, tries to get robber to give up what he stole. Robber pulls a knife, which turns Tom from protecting the merchandise to protecting employees, customers, and himself. When robber tries to run, Tom knocks stolen item loose and narrowly avoids being stabbed.

Tom PJ 3: Tom drives an 8-year-old SUV into fast-food drive-thru, shows his penny-pinching ways, telling family they can order anything from the dollar menu, on a budget, can’t spend more than $20-25.

Inciting Incident: Tom and his family are kidnapped by hooded figures. Who are they?

Dmitriy AJ 1: Orders two cars cut off and surround Tom’s car. Hooded figures kidnap Tom and his family.

Tom PJ 4: Tom and his family are kidnapped. Tom tries to fight off kidnappers who grab his kids, but fails, is taken along with them.

Deeper Layer: Tom doesn’t know who the kidnappers are or why they were taken.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Anticipation

Turning Point: Tom finds out where he is (at the bottom of a pool) and that he is accused of stealing $3.6 billion from a Russian mob boss who is holding Tom’s family hostage.

Tom PJ 5: Tom learns he and his family have 60 minutes to live unless Tom confesses.

Tom PJ 5a: Tom doesn’t even own a house with a pool, says he’s just a store manager in Van Nuys, the shithole of the valley (go to Tom PJ 2 – robbery), nor believes he is at bottom of one, could be anywhere, needs proof.

Dmitriy AJ 2: Dmitriy tells Tom he and his family have 60 minutes to live unless Tom confesses, shows Tom his family tied and gagged.

Dmitriy AJ 2a: Orders Ivan to dive into pool and knock on box. Ivan doesn’t want to but Dmitriy makes him.

Act 2: Tom is trapped in a watery grave.

Tom PJ 6: Realizing just how trapped he is, Tom’s claustrophobia starts to overwhelm him, see him trapped in an elevator as a kid, trying to open doors, call for help, but elevator phone doesn’t work, pound on door, screams for help, panics, must sit down, pees himself? Susan, Tom’s wife must step in and help, gets Tom to focus on the day they got married in Hawaii.

Dmitriy AJ 3: Dmitriy continues to try to get Tom to confess, but Tom is overcome with claustrophobia. Dmitriy ungags Susan, allows her to use phone to help Tom.

Tom PJ 7: See Tom and Susan’s wedding in Hawaii.

Tom PJ 8: Tom now able to focus, but can’t talk his way out of box, threats against his family increase. Tom calls police. He doesn’t know where he is, police can’t find him, his plans fail.

Dmitriy AJ 4: Dmitriy ups his threats against Tom’s family, threatens to rape and kill them, even the dog.

Deeper Layer Reveal: Tom finds out a Russian mob boss kidnapped them and is told why.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Suspense, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Tension, Anticipation

Midpoint Turning Point: Tom’s box slowly starts to fill with water.

Act 3: Tom is still trapped and now water is rising.

Tom PJ 9: Nothing Tom is saying or doing to escape works. Pounds side of box in frustration. Water keeps rising, time and air running out.

Dmitriy AJ 5: Dmitriy can’t get Tom to confess as water keeps rising, time and air running out. Touches Tom’s wife in a suggestive and sexual way. This upsets Ivan.

Tom PJ 10: More desperate, Tom tries to be tougher.

Dmitriy AJ 6: Dmitriy is unmoved as Tom tries to act tougher, hurts Tom’s kids, backhands Tom’s son when he talks back.

Deeper Layer: Dmitriy and Tom don’t know they have both been manipulated by Tom’s wife and her lover.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Suspense, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Tension, Anticipation

Turning Point: When tension is at its peak, at the very last second, water at its highest point in the box, with the least air and space left, Tom finally confesses.

Act 4: Tom escapes.

Dmitriy AJ 7: Dmitriy runs outside, orders Tom be freed from box.

Tom PJ 11: Tom is let out of the box with seconds to spare.

Dmitriy AJ 8: Dmitriy points gun at Tom, tells him to access the accounts with the stolen Bitcoin or he can watch his family die slowly.

Tom PJ 12: Tom learns the truth while pretending to access the stolen accounts.

Dmitriy AJ 9: Dmitriy is shocked to learn his brother Ivan betrayed him, they fight, Dmitriy pummels Ivan and looks like he will win easily, but Ivan somehow turns the tables and kills his brother.

Tom PJ 13: Tom tries to protect his family as the Russian brothers fight, sees Ivan kill Dmitriy.

Tom PJ 14: Tom confronts Ivan, after learning of his wife’s betrayal, that she and the Russian are having an affair and are the masterminds behind everything. Now it’s a fight to the death. Tom kills Ivan with a little help from his kids.

Deeper Layer Reveal: Tom learns his wife is having an affair with Ivan and that they framed him. Dmitriy learns of his brother’s betrayal.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Suspense, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Tension, Surprise, Anticipation

Resolution: Victory and death.

Tom PJ 15: Tom and his kids are safe, wife is now in the box screaming, right where the bitch belongs, all assets are in Tom’s name, so he is now a billionaire.

Dmitriy AJ 10: Dmitriy is dead.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s New Outline Beats!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how everything that happens in a script has a cause and effect. So, we need to make sure every beat is setup and causes something after it. Reading the outline from beginning to end, and from end to beginning, as well as picking any point in between allows us to see if we are missing any cause and effect beats. I added a couple beats that were missing, and I’m sure I will discover more later.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

Act 1: Tom and his family are kidnapped.

Tom PJ 1: Tom wakes up trapped in a dark box, doesn’t know where he is or why.

Tom PJ 2: We see Tom’s old ways and how they affect his family. Tom confronts a robber at his store.

Tom PJ 3: Tom shows his penny-pinching ways at a fast-food place.

Inciting Incident: Tom and his family are kidnapped by hooded figures. Who are they?

Dmitriy AJ 1: Orders two cars cut off and surround Tom’s car. Hooded figures kidnap Tom and his family.

Tom PJ 4: Tom and his family are kidnapped.

Deeper Layer: Tom doesn’t know who the kidnappers are or why they were taken.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Anticipation

Turning Point: Tom finds out where he is (at the bottom of a pool) and that he is accused of stealing $3.6 billion from a Russian mob boss who is holding Tom’s family hostage.

Tom PJ 5: Tom learns he and his family have 60 minutes to live unless Tom confesses.

Tom PJ 5a: Tom doesn’t believe he is at bottom of pool, could be anywhere, needs proof.

Dmitriy AJ 2: Dmitriy tells Tom he and his family have 60 minutes to live unless Tom confesses.

Dmitriy AJ 2a: Orders Ivan to dive into pool and knock on box. Ivan doesn’t want to but Dmitriy makes him.

Act 2: Tom is trapped in a watery grave.

Tom PJ 6: Realizing just how trapped he is, Tom’s claustrophobia starts to overwhelm him, see him trapped in an elevator as a kid. Susan, Tom’s wife must step in and help, gets Tom to focus on the day they got married in Hawaii.

Dmitriy AJ 3: Dmitriy continues to try to get Tom to confess, but Tom is overcome with claustrophobia. Dmitriy allows Susan to help Tom.

Tom PJ 7: See Tom and Susan’s wedding in Hawaii.

Tom PJ 8: Tom now able to focus, but can’t talk his way out of box, threats against his family increase. Tom calls police. He doesn’t know where he is, police can’t find him, his plans fail.

Dmitriy AJ 4: Dmitriy ups his threats against Tom’s family, threatens to rape and kill them, even the dog.

Deeper Layer Reveal: Tom finds out a Russian mob boss kidnapped them and is told why.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Suspense, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Tension, Anticipation

Midpoint Turning Point: Tom’s box slowly starts to fill with water.

Act 3: Tom is still trapped and now water is rising.

Tom PJ 9: Nothing Tom is saying or doing to escape works. Water keeps rising, time and air running out.

Dmitriy AJ 5: Dmitriy can’t get Tom to confess as water keeps rising, time and air running out.

Tom PJ 10: More desperate, Tom tries to be tougher.

Dmitriy AJ 6: Dmitriy is unmoved as Tom tries to act tougher, hurts Tom’s kids.

Deeper Layer: Dmitriy and Tom don’t know they have both been manipulated by Tom’s wife and her lover.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Suspense, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Tension, Anticipation

Turning Point: When tension is at its peak, at the very last second, water at its highest point in the box, with the least air and space left, Tom finally confesses.

Act 4: Tom escapes.

Dmitriy AJ 7: Dmitriy orders Tom be freed from box.

Tom PJ 11: Tom is let out of the box with seconds to spare.

Dmitriy AJ 8: Dmitriy tells Tom to access the accounts with the stolen Bitcoin or he can watch his family die slowly.

Tom PJ 12: Tom learns the truth while pretending to access the stolen accounts.

Dmitriy AJ 9: Dmitriy is shocked to learn his brother Ivan betrayed him, they fight, Dmitriy pummels Ivan and looks like he will win easily, but Ivan somehow turns the tables and kills his brother.

Tom PJ 13: Tom tries to protect his family as the Russian brothers fight, sees Ivan kill Dmitriy.

Tom PJ 14: Tom confronts Ivan, after learning of his wife’s betrayal, that she and the Russian are having an affair and are the masterminds behind everything. Now it’s a fight to the death. Tom kills Ivan with a little help from his kids.

Deeper Layer Reveal: Tom learns his wife is having an affair with Ivan and that they framed him. Dmitriy learns of his brother’s betrayal.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Suspense, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Tension, Surprise, Anticipation

Resolution: Victory and death.

Tom PJ 15: Tom and his kids are safe, wife is now in the box screaming, right where the bitch belongs, all assets are in Tom’s name, so he is now a billionaire.

Dmitriy AJ 10: Dmitriy is dead.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how a beat sheet combines different elements of our outline. It contains the 4-act structure, the protagonist and antagonist’s journey, along with deeper layers and genre conventions.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

Act 1: Tom and his family are kidnapped.

Tom PJ 1: Tom wakes up trapped in a dark box, doesn’t know where he is or why.

Tom PJ 2: We see Tom’s old ways and how they affect his family. Tom confronts a robber at his store.

Tom PJ 3: Tom shows his penny-pinching ways at a fast-food place.

Inciting Incident: Tom and his family are kidnapped by hooded figures. Who are they?

Dmitriy AJ 1: Orders two cars cut off and surround Tom’s car. Hooded figures kidnap Tom and his family.

Tom PJ 4: Tom and his family are kidnapped.

Deeper Layer: Tom doesn’t know who the kidnappers are or why they were taken.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Anticipation

Turning Point: Tom finds out where he is (at the bottom of a pool) and that he is accused of stealing $3.6 billion from a Russian mob boss who is holding Tom’s family hostage.

Tom PJ 5: Tom learns he and his family have 60 minutes to live unless Tom confesses.

Dmitriy AJ 2: Dmitriy tells Tom he and his family have 60 minutes to live unless Tom confesses.

Act 2: Tom is trapped in a watery grave.

Tom PJ 6: Realizing just how trapped he is, Tom’s claustrophobia starts to overwhelm him, see him trapped in an elevator as a kid. Susan, Tom’s wife must step in and help, gets Tom to focus on the day they got married in Hawaii.

Dmitriy AJ 3: Dmitriy continues to try to get Tom to confess, but Tom is overcome with claustrophobia. Dmitriy allows Susan to help Tom.

Tom PJ 7: See Tom and Susan’s wedding in Hawaii.

Tom PJ 8: Tom now able to focus, but can’t talk his way out of box, threats against his family increase. Tom calls police. He doesn’t know where he is, police can’t find him, his plans fail.

Dmitriy AJ 4: Dmitriy ups his threats against Tom’s family, threatens to rape and kill them, even the dog.

Deeper Layer Reveal: Tom finds out a Russian mob boss kidnapped them and is told why.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Suspense, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Tension, Anticipation

Midpoint Turning Point: Tom’s box slowly starts to fill with water.

Act 3: Tom is still trapped and now water is rising.

Tom PJ 9: Nothing Tom is saying or doing to escape works. Water keeps rising, time and air running out.

Dmitriy AJ 5: Dmitriy can’t get Tom to confess as water keeps rising, time and air running out.

Tom PJ 10: More desperate, Tom tries to be tougher.

Dmitriy AJ 6: Dmitriy is unmoved as Tom tries to act tougher, hurts Tom’s kids.

Deeper Layer: Dmitriy and Tom don’t know they have both been manipulated by Tom’s wife and her lover.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Suspense, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Tension, Anticipation

Turning Point: When tension is at its peak, at the very last second, water at its highest point in the box, with the least air and space left, Tom finally confesses.

Act 4: Tom escapes.

Dmitriy AJ 7: Dmitriy orders Tom be freed from box.

Tom PJ 11: Tom is let out of the box with seconds to spare.

Dmitriy AJ 8: Dmitriy tells Tom to access the accounts with the stolen Bitcoin or he can watch his family die slowly.

Tom PJ 12: Tom learns the truth while pretending to access the stolen accounts.

Dmitriy AJ 9: Dmitriy is shocked to learn his brother Ivan betrayed him, they fight, Dmitriy pummels Ivan and looks like he will win easily, but Ivan somehow turns the tables and kills his brother.

Tom PJ 13: Tom tries to protect his family as the Russian brothers fight, sees Ivan kill Dmitriy.

Tom PJ 14: Tom confronts Ivan, after learning of his wife’s betrayal, that she and the Russian are having an affair and are the masterminds behind everything. Now it’s a fight to the death. Tom kills Ivan with a little help from his kids.

Deeper Layer Reveal: Tom learns his wife is having an affair with Ivan and that they framed him. Dmitriy learns of his brother’s betrayal.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Suspense, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Tension, Surprise, Anticipation

Resolution: Victory and death.

Tom PJ 15: Tom and his kids are safe, wife is now in the box screaming, right where the bitch belongs, all assets are in Tom’s name, so he is now a billionaire.

Dmitriy AJ 10: Dmitriy is dead.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Deeper Layer!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how important it is to add a deeper layer to our story. This is the story within and under the story. Everything under the surface influences what happens on the surface. Hints from underneath pop up every so often, but the audience doesn’t know what they really mean until the big reveal, when the under surface story flips to the surface. This is how to shock, surprise, and delight the audience with something unexpected. Don’t be afraid to go deep. Dive in!

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

Surface Layer: Dmitriy, a Russian mob boss has kidnapped Tom and his family. Tom is trapped in an underwater grave and has 60 minutes to save his family. Dmitriy is convinced Tom stole from him and will do whatever it takes to get Tom to confess.

Deeper Layer: Dmitriy’s brother, Ivan, and Tom’s wife, Susan, are the ones who really stole from Dmitriy and framed Tom.

Major Reveal: In Act 4, once Tom is free, he finds out Susan has been having an affair with Ivan for years and they framed him.

Influences Surface Story: Everything that happens on the surface is caused by Ivan and Susan’s conspiracy.

Hints: Tom’s stubbornness is hinted at during an attempted robbery at his store. The way Ivan touches Susan and way she looks at a shirtless Ivan hint at how they feel about each other.

Changes Reality: Everything under the surface flips and becomes the surface. Dmitriy loses his shit when he learns Ivan has betrayed him. They fight and Ivan wins, but then is killed by Tom and his kids. Susan, the seeming loving wife is the exact opposite and ends up in the underwater grave.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Character Structure

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to incorporate my leading characters into my four-act structure. What is a story? A story tells the journey of its characters from beginning to end. The story has a structure as do the main characters. Now I know how to meld the two.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

Tom Carter Character Journey 4-Act Structure:

Act 1:

Opening: Tom wakes up trapped in a dark box, doesn’t know where he is or why. We see Tom’s old ways and how they affect his family.

Inciting Incident: Tom and his family are kidnapped by hooded figures. Who are they?

Turning Point: Tom finds out where he is (at the bottom of a pool) and that he is accused of stealing $3.6 billion from a Russian mob boss who is holding Tom’s family hostage. Tom learns he and his family have 60 minutes to live unless Tom confesses.

Act 2:

New plan: Realizing just how trapped he is, Tom’s claustrophobia starts to overwhelm him. Susan, Tom’s wife must step in and help, gets Tom to focus on the day they got married in Hawaii. Tom must find out why he is in the box and how he can escape.

Plan in action: Tom now able to focus, but can’t talk his way out of box, threats against his family increase. Tom calls police. He doesn’t know where he is, police can’t find him, his plans fail.

Midpoint Turning Point: Tom’s box slowly starts to fill with water. The threat to his life just increased exponentially. This means less air and time to escape. The tension keeps rising along with the water level.

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Nothing Tom is saying or doing to escape works. Water keeps rising, time and air running out.

New plan: More desperate, Tom tries to be tougher.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: When tension is at its peak, at the very last second, water at its highest point in the box, with the least air and space left, Tom finally confesses.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Tom is let out of the box with seconds to spare. He slowly learns the truth while pretending to access the stolen accounts. Tom tries to protect his family as the Russian brothers fight, sees Ivan kill Dmitriy. Tom confronts Ivan, after learning of his wife’s betrayal, that she and the Russian are having an affair and are the masterminds behind everything. Now it’s a fight to the death. Tom kills Ivan with a little help from his kids.

Resolution: Russian’s are dead, kids are safe, wife is now in the box screaming, right where the bitch belongs, all assets are in Tom’s name, so he is now a billionaire.

Dmitriy Character Journey 4-Act Structure:

Act 1:

Opening: Ivan tells Dmitriy that Tom has been slowly stealing Bitcoin from him for years. Now, after Bitcoin has gone way up in value worth billions, Dmitriy is blinded by revenge. Schemes with his brother, Ivan, to get his money back.

Inciting Incident: Dmitriy has Ivan and other hooded figures kidnap Tom and his family.

Turning Point: Dmitriy tells Tom he and his family have 60 minutes to live unless Tom confesses.

Act 2:

New plan: Dmitriy continues to try to get Tom to confess, but Tom is overcome with claustrophobia. Dmitriy allows Susan to help Tom.

Plan in action: Dmitriy ups his threats against Tom’s family, threatens to rape and kill them, even the dog.

Midpoint Turning Point: Tom’s box starts to slowly fill with water and Dmitriy does nothing to help.

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Dmitriy can’t get Tom to confess as water keeps rising, time and air running out.

New plan: Dmitriy is unmoved as Tom tries to act tougher, hurts Tom’s kids.

Turning Point: Major shift: When tension is at its peak, at the very last second, water at its highest point in the box, with the least air and space left, Tom finally confesses, and Dmitriy lets him out of the box.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Dmitriy tells Tom to access the accounts with the stolen Bitcoin or he can watch his family die slowly. Dmitriy is shocked to learn his brother Ivan betrayed him, they fight, Dmitriy pummels Ivan and looks like he will win easily, but Ivan somehow turns the tables and kills his brother.

Resolution: Dmitriy is dead.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Character Profiles Part 2

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how supporting players and background actors need to bring value and have a purpose in the story, otherwise we shouldn’t include them.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

Support 1:

Name: Ivan

Role: Dmitriy’s brother

Main purpose: Helps with kidnapping plot. Hidden agenda and wants to be boss.

Value: Having affair with Tom’s wife and together they framed Tom.

Support 2:

Name: Susan Carter

Role: Tom’s wife, iFit personal fitness trainer

Main purpose: Can’t stand Tom’s penny-pinching ways. Is kidnapped and threatened.

Value: Having affair with Ivan and together they framed Tom.

Support 3:

Name: Emily

Role: Tom’s 17-year-old daughter

Main purpose: Cheerleader who is kidnapped and threatened.

Value: Motivation for Tom to escape and save her.

Support 4:

Name: Daniel

Role: Tom’s 15-year-old son

Main purpose: Football star player who is kidnapped and threatened.

Value: Motivation for Tom to escape and save him.

Background Characters:

Wedding guests, players and people at football game.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Character Profiles Part 2

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to complete my character profiles using subtext, intrigue, flaw, values, and dilemma. These add depth to characters because they are going on under the surface, how a character thinks, acts, what they value, hide, their inner conflicts.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

Tom Carter’s journey: Arc Beginning: Trapped in a box with one hour to escape and save his family.

Arc Ending: Defeated his captors and saved his children.

Internal Journey: From claustrophobic, weak, afraid, and clueless to strong, fearless, and knowing.

External Journey: From being trapped in a box to saving his children by defeating his captors and bringing them to justice.

Actor Attractors: He is trapped in an underwater grave accused of stealing billions from a mob boss. Has 60 minutes to escape and save his family. Goes from confused to scared to freaking-out to angry. He knows he is innocent but must convince the mob boss he is guilty. He is claustrophobic and uses humor as a coping technique.

1. Role in the Story: Protagonist: Retail Store Manager trapped in an underwater grave and has 60 minutes to escape and save his family.

2. Age range and Description: Late 30s, high school athletic now with a dad-bod.

3. Core Traits: Claustrophobic, Risk-adverse, Stubborn, Protector, Controlling, Humorous (to cope)

4. Motivation; Want: Escape. Need: Save his family.

5. Wound: Feeling helpless when he was trapped in an elevator and bullied as a teenager.

6. Likability: Loves his family and they love him even though he sometimes drives them crazy. Relatability: Sacrificing in the present, saving money to help send his daughter to college. We can relate to a family with money problems and all the stress and problems that creates. Empathy: We feel for Tom when he is kidnapped and trapped in an underwater grave. We want him to survive and save his family.

7. Character Subtext: Hiding something and lying. Trapped and framed for a crime he did not commit, but ultimately must lie and confess to escape.

8. Character Intrigue: Secrets: Hides his past computer programming experience and the fact he is of Ukrainian decent. Deception: Will use deception against Dmitriy to escape. Unspoken Wound: Hides that he is claustrophobic, but fails, hides the fact he was trapped in an elevator as a teen, was bullied in school and uses humor to cope during stressful situations.

9. Flaw: Risk-averse and claustrophobic.

10. Values: Family, Duty

11. Character Dilemma: Must sacrifice in the present for a better future. Weak/fearful when needs to be strong.

Dmitriy’s journey: Goes from head of Russian crime family who thinks he is in total control to being betrayed and killed by his younger brother.

Actor Attractors: Someone who is ruthless but highly intelligent at the same time, will go to any length to get his money back. Use of torture and the threat of torture, showing how smart he is and a person not to fuck with. Has total control over the person he thinks stole billions from him. Goes from calm to rage. Knows more than the captive and uses this to his advantage to cause maximum torture. Total control over his captive, but does he really? He is a mob boss who thinks he is untouchable and in total control, but the irony is someone stole billions from him, and his rage to do whatever it takes to get it back blinds him to the fact he is not as powerful as he thinks.

1. Role in the Story: Antagonist: Russian mob boss who will do anything to get the billions stolen from him back.

2. Age range and Description: 40s but looks older because of stress, a powerful presence.

3. Core Traits: Ruthless, Intelligent, Driven, Insecure, Know-it-all

4. Motivation; Want: Getting Tom to confess. Need: To get his fucking $3.6 billion back.

5. Wound: Growing up poor, watching his parents struggle and die early.

6. Likability: Is intelligent and hates when he is treated like he’s not. Shows some mercy when he doesn’t have to. Relatability: Somebody stole billions from him. We’ve all had something bad happen to us, some wrong. His problem is just an extreme version of what normal people go through. Empathy: We all want to be treated with respect. He grew up poor and never wants to be poor again. None of us want to be poor and struggle.

7. Character Subtext: Plotting, thinks he knows all the answers but is blinded by revenge and hubris.

8. Character Intrigue: Hidden agendas: Has set up a plan to kidnap Tom and his family and to torture Tom in an underwater grave until Tom confesses to stealing from him. Conspiracies: He is working with his brother to carry out the plan. Secrets: Has many secrets he will slowly reveal to Tom. Deception: Will use deception against Tom to get him to confess. Unspoken Wound: Someone stealing billions from him causes him inner rage that cannot be contained. Grew up poor watching his parents die early struggling to support his brother and him, never wants to feel that sense of hopelessness ever again.

9. Flaw: Blinded by revenge and hubris.

10. Values: Family, Intelligence, Winning, Power

11. Character Dilemma: Winner versus loser

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Character Profiles Part 1

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is the first part of how to build character profiles for our leading characters. We do this to create the perfect characters for our high concept story. These profiles will help us make sure the words our characters say and the actions they take embody who they are as three dimensional compelling people.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

Tom Carter’s journey: Arc Beginning: Trapped in a box with one hour to escape and save his family.

Arc Ending: Defeated his captors and saved his children.

Internal Journey: From claustrophobic, weak, afraid, and clueless to strong, fearless, and knowing.

External Journey: From being trapped in a box to saving his children by defeating his captors and bringing them to justice.

Actor Attractors: He is trapped in an underwater grave accused of stealing billions from a mob boss. Has 60 minutes to escape and save his family. Goes from confused to scared to freaking-out to angry. He knows he is innocent but must convince the mob boss he is guilty. He is claustrophobic and uses humor as a coping technique.

Role in the Story: Protagonist: Retail Store Manager trapped in an underwater grave and has 60 minutes to escape and save his family.

Age range and Description: Late 30s, high school athletic now with a dad-bod.

Core Traits: Claustrophobic, Risk-adverse, Stubborn, Protector, Controlling, Humorous (to cope)

Motivation; Want: Escape. Need: Save his family.

Wound: Feeling helpless when he was trapped in an elevator and bullied as a teenager.

Likability: Loves his family and they love him even though he sometimes drives them crazy.

Relatability: Sacrificing in the present, saving money to help send his daughter to college. We can relate to a family with money problems and all the stress and problems that creates.

Empathy: We feel for Tom when he is kidnapped and trapped in an underwater grave. We want him to survive and save his family.

Dmitriy’s journey: Goes from head of Russian crime family who thinks he is in total control to being betrayed and killed by his younger brother.

Actor Attractors: Someone who is ruthless but highly intelligent at the same time, will go to any length to get his money back. Use of torture and the threat of torture, showing how smart he is and a person not to fuck with. Goes from calm to rage. Knows more than the captive and uses this to his advantage to cause maximum torture. Total control over his captive, but does he really? He is a mob boss who thinks he is untouchable and in total control, but the irony is someone stole billions from him, and his rage to do whatever it takes to get it back blinds him to the fact he is not as powerful as he thinks.

Role in the Story: Antagonist: Russian mob boss who will do anything to get the billions stolen from him back.

Age range and Description: 40s, but looks older because of stress, a powerful presence.

Core Traits: Ruthless, Intelligent, Driven, Insecure, Know-it-all

Motivation; Want: Getting Tom to confess. Need: To get his fucking $3.6 billion back.

Wound: Growing up poor, watching his parents struggle and die early.

Likability: Is intelligent and hates when he is treated like he’s not. Shows some mercy when he doesn’t have to.

Relatability: Somebody stole billions from him. We’ve all had something bad happen to us, some wrong. His problem is just an extreme version of what normal people go through.

Empathy: We all want to be treated with respect. He grew up poor and never wants to be poor again. None of us want to be poor and struggle.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Likability/Relatability/Empathy

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to use likability, relatability, and empathy to get the audience to connect to my characters. Our characters don’t need to be good or bad. They can, but most people are shades of gray. The key is have the audience connect deeply with the characters, so they will care what happens and go along the journey with them. If the audience can like, relate, or have empathy for a character, we can draw them in. Even my bad guy has something normal people can relate and empathize with.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in a box at the bottom of a pool for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to
prove his innocence and save his family.

Protagonist: Tom Carter

Likability: Loves his family and they love him even though he sometimes drives them crazy.

Relatability: Sacrificing in the present, saving money to help send his daughter to college. We can relate to a family with money problems and all the stress and issues that creates.

Empathy: We feel for Tom when he is kidnapped and trapped in an underwater grave. We want him to survive and save his family.

Antagonist: Dmitriy

Likability: Is intelligent and hates when he is treated like he’s not. Shows some mercy when he doesn’t have to.

Relatability: Somebody stole billions from him. We’ve all had something bad happen to us, some wrong done do us. His problem is just a very, very, extreme version of what normal people go through.

Empathy: We all want to be treated with respect. He grew up poor and never wants to be poor again. None of us want to be poor and struggle.

• This reply was modified 3 years ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Character Intrigue

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to add intrigue as subtext for my main characters. Intrigue shows up as hidden layers. Characters hide things from each other and the audience and this makes us want to know more and figure out what is really going on. We don’t know the answers because characters are withholding information or being deceptive to trick or challenge others. Below are the intriguing layers my two leads will use and how they will show up.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in a box at the bottom of a pool for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to
prove his innocence and save his family.

Character Name: Dmitriy

Role: Russian Mob Boss

Hidden agendas: Has set up a plan to kidnap Tom and his family and to torture Tom in an underwater grave until Tom confesses to stealing from him.

Conspiracies: He is working with his brother to carry out the plan.

Secrets: Has many secrets he will slowly reveal to Tom.

Deception: Will use deception and threats against Tom to get him to confess.

Unspoken Wound: Someone stealing billions from him causes him inner rage that cannot be contained. Grew up poor watching his parents die early struggling to support his brother and him, never wants to feel that sense of hopelessness ever again.

Character Name: Tom Carter

Role: Captive

Secrets: Hides his past computer programming experience and the fact he is of Ukrainian decent.

Deception: Will use deception against Dmitriy to escape.

Unspoken Wound: Hides that he is claustrophobic, but fails, hides the fact he was trapped in an elevator as a teen, was bullied in school and uses humor to cope during stressful situations.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Subtext Characters

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to add subtext to my main characters using subtext identities and subtext traits. What I realized is two of my supporting characters, the brother of the mob boss and Tom’s wife are themselves subtext characters in that they are both hiding major secrets from the protagonist and antagonist. This means I have subtext within subtext or subtext below subtext. I’m not even sure how to label it, but I have a ton of subtext going on in the story and between characters, which is pretty cool.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in a box at the bottom of a pool for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to
prove his innocence and save his family.

Antagonist Character Name: Dmitriy

Subtext Identity: Mob Boss who thinks he knows all the answers but is blinded by revenge.

Subtext Trait: Untouchable, blinded by revenge, manipulative.

Subtext Logline: Dmitriy is a mob boss who will do anything to get his money back including kidnapping and torture, but his all-consuming revenge blinds him to the truth that his brother is the one who betrayed him.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Tries to control everyone and everything, thinks he is smarter than everyone, thinks he has all the answers, tries to manipulate Tom into confessing.

Protagonist Character Name: Tom Carter

Subtext Identity: Trapped and framed for a crime he did not commit, but ultimately must lie and confess to escape.

Subtext Trait: clueless, afraid, uses humor to hide and cope with his fear, must find a hidden strength to survive, acts innocent when things he is hiding could create a sense of guilt.

Subtext Logline: Tom is trapped in a watery grave and must prove he is innocent while exposing the person who framed him, but the only way to escape and save his family is to lie.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Can’t hide that he is claustrophobic, uses humor to cope and deflect, clueless as to what is happening and why, must act guilty when that is the last and only option.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Actor Attractors!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to attract major actors. The actor has to want to play the part. They have to want to do and say the things written for them. Answering the actor attractor questions is a great way to discover more about your characters, what makes them stand out, what makes them unique, why is he or she somebody a major actor wants to play? The character must be appealing and interesting enough to attract an actor. I discovered my antagonist is a person of irony, who thinks he is in total control, but someone has stolen billions from him, so he’s not really in control.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in a box at the bottom of a pool for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to
prove his innocence and save his family.

Lead Character Name: Tom Carter

Role: Captive

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

He is trapped in an underwater grave accused of stealing billions from a mob boss.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

The fact he is trapped and must escape to save his family.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

Surviving in such a harrowing space and killing the Russians once free.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

Having him trapped, not knowing where he is or why.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?

From confused to scared to freaking-out to angry.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

He knows he is innocent but must convince the mob boss he is guilty.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

With the mob boss trying to survive and outwit him.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

Through how he acts while trapped.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

He is claustrophobic and uses humor as a coping technique.

Lead Character Name: Ivan

Role: Russian Mob Boss

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

Someone who is ruthless but highly intelligent at the same time, will go to any length to get his money back.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

He kidnapped Tom and his family and put Tom in an underwater grave.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

Use of torture and the threat of torture, showing how smart he is and a person not to fuck with.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

Has total control over the person he thinks stole billions from him.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?

Calm to rage.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

He knows more than the captive and uses this to his advantage to cause maximum torture.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

Total control over his captive, but does he really?

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

Using his intelligence while being the ultimate bad guy.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

He is a mob boss who thinks he is untouchable and in total control, but the irony is someone stole billions from him, and his rage to do whatever it takes to get it back blinds him to the fact he is not as powerful as he thinks.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Genre Conventions

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how my 4-act structure did not incorporate the conventions of my thriller genre. It did to an extant, but I looked over the conventions and made sure they show up in a far stronger way in the structure. Doing so increases the tension and suspense, showcases the villain and reveals shocking secrets and betrayals.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in a box at the bottom of a pool for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to
prove his innocence and save his family.

<div>Thriller Conventions:</div>

PURPOSE: To thrill your audience with high stakes, plot twists, and

suspense that never lets up until the adrenalin packed climax.

LIFE AND DEATH SITUATIONS.

MYSTERY/INTRIGUE/SUSPENSE:

HERO:

VILLAIN:

MAIN EMOTIONS: Suspense, intrigue, mystery, tension, anticipation,

uncertainty, and surprise.

Previous 4-Act Structure:

Act 1:

Opening: Tom wakes up trapped in a dark box. We see Tom’s old ways and family before.

Inciting Incident: Tom and his family are kidnapped by the Russian mob.

Turning Point: Tom finds out where he is and that he is accused of stealing $3.6 billion from a Russian mob boss who is holding Tom’s family hostage.

Act 2:

New plan: Tom’s claustrophobia starts to overwhelm him. Susan, Tom’s wife must step in and help, gets Tom to focus on the day they got married in Hawaii.

Plan in action: Tom now able to focus, but can’t talk his way out of box, Ivan ups his threats against Tom’s family. Tom calls police. He doesn’t know where he is, police can’t find him, his plans fail.

Midpoint Turning Point: Tom’s box starts to fill with water. The threat to his life just increased and time to escape is running out even faster now.

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Nothing Tom is saying or doing to escape is working.

New plan: More desperate, Tom tries to be tougher.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: At the very last second, water at its highest point in the box, with the least air and space left, Tom finally confesses.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Tom is let out of the box with seconds to spare. He slowly learns the truth while pretending to access the stolen accounts. Ivan learns his brother Dmitriy betrayed him, they fight, Dmitriy wins. Tom confronts him, the man who set him up and is having an affair with his wife, kills Dmitriy. Tom learns his wife was working with Dmitriy the whole time, set Tom up.

Resolution: Russian’s are dead, kids are safe, wife is now in the box screaming, Tom is a billionaire.

Updated 4-Act Structure incorporating genre conventions:

Act 1:

Opening: Tom wakes up trapped in a dark box, doesn’t know where he is or why. We see Tom’s old ways and family before.

Inciting Incident: Tom and his family are kidnapped by hooded figures. Who are they?

Turning Point: Tom finds out where he is (at the bottom of a pool) and that he is accused of stealing $3.6 billion from a Russian mob boss who is holding Tom’s family hostage. The boss tells Tom he has 60 minutes to live unless he confesses.

Act 2:

New plan: Realizing just how trapped he is, Tom’s claustrophobia starts to overwhelm him. Susan, Tom’s wife must step in and help, gets Tom to focus on the day they got married in Hawaii. Must find out why he is in the box, and how he can escape?

Plan in action: Tom now able to focus, but can’t talk his way out of box, Ivan ups his threats against Tom’s family, threatens to rape and kill them. Tom calls police. He doesn’t know where he is, police can’t find him, his plans fail.

Midpoint Turning Point: Tom’s box starts to slowly fill with water. The threat to his life just increased exponentially. This means less air and time to escape. The tension keeps rising along with the water level.

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Nothing Tom is saying or doing to escape is working. Water keeps rising, time and air running out.

New plan: More desperate, Tom tries to be tougher, but Ivan is unmoved, hurts Tom’s kids.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: When tension is at its peak, at the very last second, water at its highest point in the box, with the least air and space left, Tom finally confesses.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Tom is let out of the box with seconds to spare. He slowly learns the truth while pretending to access the stolen accounts. Ivan is shocked to learn his brother Dmitriy betrayed him, they fight, Ivan pummels Dmitriy and looks like he will win easily, but Dmitriy somehow turns the tables and kills his brother. Tom confronts Dmitriy, after learning of his wife’s betrayal, that she and the Russian are having an affair and are the masterminds behind everything. Now it’s a fight to the death. Tom kills Dmitriy with a little help from his kids.

Resolution: Russian’s are dead, kids are safe, wife is now in the box screaming, right where the bitch belongs, all assets are in Tom’s name, so he is now a billionaire.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s 4-Act Transformational Structure

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how to build a 4-act structure around my protagonist’s transformational journey. The only way to put our character through hell is to know his or her old and new ways, then figure out the main structure of how, when, and why the character will change. We need a plan and structure begins to give us the bones we will build from. My 4-Act structure is a work in progress, far from perfect, and that is okay. It gives me something to work with and improve going forward. I will never become stuck because I know this is just the beginning and not the end of the creative process.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in a box at the bottom of a pool for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to
prove his innocence and save his family.

Main Conflict: Tom must escape his watery grave and save his family by defeating a Russian mob boss.

Old Ways: Trapped. Afraid. Penny pincher. Does not see the big picture. Clueless to the truth of what is happening.

New Ways: Free. Strong. Wealthy. Can overcome his fears. Knows the truth

Act 1:

Opening: Tom wakes up trapped in a dark box. We see Tom’s old ways and family before.

Inciting Incident: Tom and his family are kidnapped by the Russian mob.

Turning Point: Tom finds out where he is and that he is accused of stealing $3.6 billion from a Russian mob boss who is holding Tom’s family hostage.

Act 2:

New plan: Tom’s claustrophobia starts to overwhelm him. Susan, Tom’s wife must step in and help, gets Tom to focus on the day they got married in Hawaii.

Plan in action: Tom now able to focus, but can’t talk his way out of box, Ivan ups his threats against Tom’s family. Tom calls police. He doesn’t know where he is, police can’t find him, his plans fail.

Midpoint Turning Point: Tom’s box starts to fill with water. The threat to his life just increased and time to escape is running out even faster now.

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Nothing Tom is saying or doing to escape is working.

New plan: More desperate, Tom tries to be tougher.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: At the very last second, water at its highest point in the box, with the least air and space left, Tom finally confesses.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Tom is let out of the box with seconds to spare. He slowly learns the truth while pretending to access the stolen accounts. Ivan learns his brother Dmitriy betrayed him, they fight, Dmitriy wins. Tom confronts him, the man who set him up and is having an affair with his wife, kills Dmitriy. Tom learns his wife was working with Dmitriy the whole time, set Tom up.

Resolution: Russian’s are dead, kids are safe, wife is now in the box screaming, Tom is a billionaire.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Subtext Plot

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how having subtext in the plot, thus putting things under the surface, makes for a far better story and movie. It adds so many new layers for the audience to enjoy. For this script, I have so much going on under the surface and even literally put the protagonist under the surface. I will use all seven subtext plots to varying degrees. The key is to not overwhelm or confuse the audience and I know I won’t.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in a box at the bottom of a pool for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to
prove his innocence and save his family.

Subtext Plots

Scheme and Investigation, Layering, Someone Hides Who They Are, Fish Out of Water, Superior Position, A Major Cover Up, Competitive Agendas:

My story has a reversal of fates which will come out using layering. I also have a bit of Fish Out Of Water in that the protagonist is trapped in a situation he has never faced before and must figure out how to survive such a circumstance. Two characters in my story are hiding who they really are and what they have done. They along with the antagonist are in a superior position because they know more than the protagonist and all have competing agendas. There is even a Scheme and Investigation plot because the antagonist is trying to find out something the protagonist has supposedly done, and the two hiding characters have put this whole scheme into motion and are using a Major Cover Up to hide their scheme.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Transformational Journey

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how important it is to have the audience go on a journey and they do that by following the protagonist’s journey. He or she starts in one place with his or her old ways and by the end transforms into something new and different. The character changes both internally and externally by how they take their journey.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in a box at the bottom of a pool for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to
prove his innocence and save his family.

Transformational Journey

Protagonist: TOM

Arc Beginning: Trapped in a box with one hour to escape and save his family.

Arc Ending: Defeated his captors and saved his children.

Internal Journey: From claustrophobic, weak, afraid, and clueless to strong, fearless, and knowing.

External Journey: From being trapped in a box to saving his children by defeating his captors and bringing them to justice.

Old Ways:

Trapped. Afraid.

Penny pincher.

Does not see the big picture.

Clueless to the truth of what is happening.

New Ways:

Free. Strong.

Wealthy.

Can overcome his fears.

Knows the truth.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Intentional Lead Characters

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how the lead characters in your script need to fit the story and deliver on the concept in a powerful way. These characters should be unique and tailored to fit your concept and story.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in a box at the bottom of a pool for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to
prove his innocence and save his family.

Character Structure: Protagonist versus Antagonist

Protagonist is Tom Carter

Logline: Tom is a retail store manager, husband and father, who finds himself trapped in a box at the bottom of a pool.

Unique: He is claustrophobic and trapped in a tight space with no escape, and has only 60 minutes to figure out how to save his family.

Antagonist is Ivan

Logline: Ivan is a Russian mob boss who will do anything to retrieve the billions of dollars worth of bitcoin stolen from him.

Unique: Extremely intelligent, ruthless, and somebody you don’t want to mess with…ever.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Title, Concept, and Character Structure!

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

<font size=”3″>What I learned doing this assignment is how outlining saves time. Do you build a house without blueprints? Maybe if you’re insane. So, why write a whole script without your blueprint, which is what an outline is. Outlining and going step by step allows you to create without stress or fear. Take one step at a time and you will get there.
</font>

<font size=”3″><font size=”3″>Title: TRAPPED</font></font>

<font size=”3″><font size=”3″>Concept: Claustrophobic
and trapped in a box at the bottom of a pool for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin
from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to
prove his innocence and save his family.</font></font>

<font size=”3″><font size=”3″>Character Structure: Protagonist versus Antagonist</font></font>

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal agrees to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of Writing Incredible Movies, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, through social media, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, videos, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Hi all,

My name is Farrin Rosenthal. I’m a professional, optioned screenwriter who’s been taking ScreenwritingU classes for years, (love them!), completed the ProSeries and MasterClass.

I’ve written more than one and less than a million scripts.

What matters more than how many is if I’ve learned and grown as a writer from every script I’ve written and I have.

I specialize in comedy, but want to try other genres and get out of my comfort zone. I know and hope this class will help me continue to grow as a writer and write the best scripts in my life, ones that will sell.

Something unique about me? In 2013, I was lucky to acquire the last remaining original Jurassic Park Lithograph sets that Universal sold in 1994. I started a website, DinoArtPrints.com and exhibit my Jurassic Park Collectibles at various comic conventions in the Western U.S., including San Diego Comic-Con.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

What I learned is how easy it is to make one fatal error writing a thriller that makes the difference between a great thriller and one that fails.

I decided to watch “How It Ends,” the #1 film on Netflix in the U.S. this week, last week in April, 2022.

This movie has almost all the elements of a great thriller but with one main fatal flaw.

Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Will is the Hero as he travels 2,000 miles across the country from Chicago to Seattle to find his pregnant girlfriend after a possible end of the world event.

Dangerous Villain: There are multiple villains our hero must face, from people trying to stop his journey, people robbing and stealing from him, shooting and chasing him, to the environment itself with storms, earthquakes, and volcanic eruptions.

High stakes: His girlfriend is missing and he doesn’t know what happened to her and his journey is long and perilous.

Life and death situations: Will faces constant life and death situations as mentioned above, and must find food, gas, supplies, transportation, on his trip while avoiding, or fighting robbers, lightning storms, traffic, etc.

This movie is thrilling because? We are rooting for our hero to find his girlfriend as he tries to survive his journey.

3. What is the BIG Mystery, Intrigue, and Suspense of this story?

<div>Big Mystery: Is Sam, Will’s pregnant girlfriend still alive and what happened to cause power, Internet, and cell service to end across the country?
</div><div>

Big Intrigue: What happened out West and was it a natural disaster or a human-created one?

Big Suspense: Will faces constant danger during his six-day trip as he makes his way from Chicago to Seattle. Will he survive the trip? Will he find his girlfriend?

</div>

The main reason this movie fails to please the audience is the ending.

Yes, our hero finds his girlfriend after a perilous journey, but the movie never really explains or answers the big mystery of the movie to our satisfaction.

What potentially world-ending event happened in the Western part of the U.S.?

We find out there was a tidal wave that destroyed Seattle, and volcano eruptions. Maybe a massive earthquake triggered it all or was it man-made with nuclear weapons?

The movie does not explain or tell us and we are left at the end asking, “That’s it?”

“How it Ends” doesn’t show how it ends, and leaves us hanging with our protagonists trying to outrace a volcanic explosion. It appears they will make it safe, but we do not know for sure, and we never learn what happened to cause this all.

The movie feels like the first half of a two-part movie, where we only get half the story, and the second part will delve into the cause of what happened and answer our big questions.

Did Netflix plan to have a sequel?

As it stands now, the movie leaves us hanging and wondering, which is very unsatisfying to the audience. If the point is to show we might not ever know or find out what happened (the cause) in a real-life disaster, then it might make some sense, but this isn’t real-life; it’s a movie, and audiences want answers to huge mysteries that you set-up.

Watching a bad thriller still has lessons to teach us; here is what not to do.

Never set-up a huge mystery for the audience without revealing the answer by the end!

The ending of a movie can make or break the entire experience for an audience.

Why this 2018 movie is #1 on Netflix in late April, 2022 is the real mystery.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Hi all,

My name is Farrin Rosenthal. I’m a professional optioned screenwriter who’s been taking ScreenwritingU classes for years, (lover them!), completed the ProSeries and MasterClass.

I’ve written more than one and less than a million scripts.

What matters more than how many is if I’ve learned and grown as a writer from every script I’ve written and I have.

I specialize in writing comedy, so taking this Thriller class is a thrill which is out of my comfort zone. I came up with a killer thriller concept that I’ve been thinking about a long time, started with an image, and hope to master Thriller writing with this class, then write the best script I’ve ever written.

I’m not sure how much I will do in real time during this class as I’m taking the Writing Incredible Movies class at the same time. If I try to do both at the same time, I fear my head might explode, which is good in a thriller movie, but not in real life.

Something unique about me? In 2013, I was lucky to acquire the last remaining original Jurassic Park Lithograph sets that Universal sold in 1994. I started a website, DinoArtPrints.com and exhibit my Jurassic Park Collectibles at various comic conventions in the Western U.S.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

I, Farrin Rosenthal, agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Wow, Rebecca! Congrats on finishing your first draft in 15 days! I finished mine in less than three weeks but didn’t write anything for one of those weeks (vacation).

It’s also great you have too many pages after the first draft, because you can always cut pages in the next drafts. I have the opposite problem. Not enough pages. So, I’ll be including all the little details in my next drafts that will add to the length. All my scripts seem to be around 90 pages when all is said and done.

I’m looking forward to draft 2 and I’m sure you are as well.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Hi Peter,

I hope you are feeling better. I’ve started writing my first draft but would still like to exchange outlines with you if you’re looking for feedback. You can email me at write4film@aol.com Thanks.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Hi Valeriya,

I really like your horror thriller concept! Are you adding humor to it? Can easily be a horror-comedy, but might be better to market it as a horror-thriller, as labeling something a horror-comedy seems harder to sell. Anyway, the setup lends itself to funny moments. Would love to read your outline when ready.

Sincerely,

Farrin

• This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by  Farrin Rosenthal.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Hi Tom,

Just sent you my outline. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Farrin

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Hi Bill,

Let’s do it! Email me at write4film@aol.com, thanks!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Sounds great, will email you, thanks, Jeff!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Hi Jeff,

I’m looking for a new round of feedback for my thriller, “Trapped” and would like to exchange with you if you’d like. Thank you.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Hi Bob,

I would be happy to exchange outlines with you. I’ll send you an email. Thank you!

Sincerely,

Farrin

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Hi Tina, so good to see you here!!!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Hi David, 44 screenplays and almost half produced? Wow, that alone makes you special! Thank you for what you wrote about all of us in this group!

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Hi Hope, great to see you here!! You are far from boring! Are your goat’s names, Moe, Larry, and Curly?

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Natalie!!! So good to see you here!!!