[Frances Emerson]

Fran’s Scene Ratings

What I learned: pretty much what I’ve been saying in the earlier lessons and all my other classes. I need on this particular script a complete overhaul now that I know how to do it, I can get to work on, dig in and get it done. There will be a LOT of improvement when I’m finished.

Thank you.

[Frances Emerson]

Fran’s Meaningful Action

What I learned: I’m learning alot about rewriting and how to get it done and about my characters. what I need in each scene to make it much better.

As I stated before I came into this class pretty much knowing most of the script needed a total overhaul. I’ve barely touched on it, but do know what I need to do now.

Thanks for turning this around for me.

[Frances Emerson]

FRAN’S ELEVATED STRUCTURE SCENE

WHAT I LEARNED: I am learning to write with feels and to write the scene mean and lean. And make each scene complete in itself. This was a great rewrite

OLD SCENE

INT. AMULIUS’S TREASURE HOUSE

AMULIUS, Numitor’s brother and soon the usurper of Alba Longa’s throne, and ACTIUS, Amulius’s FIRST GENERAL OF HIS ARMY, consult a SIBYLLINE. Several MILITARY AIDES, SERVANTS attend amongst the gold and jewels of great ancient Trojan wealth.

SIBYL

That is my price for men who

would be kings.

AMULIUS

Forty pieces of gold from the treasures

of Troy? Forty pieces of thievery.

Take of it what you will, then. But

pray, woman, your prophecy speaks

truly to me, or I shall prophesy an

even swifter ending for you.

SIBYL

You drive a hard bargain, spawn of

Tempestes and Mulciber.

With one, quick gesture of her hand, an attendant hurries to pick out the best pieces of gold from the treasury and then quickly leave with them.

SIBYL

I shall need only a moment.

A second attendant brings the Sibyl a potion to drink and places a bowl of steaming, hot salts before her. As she drinks, she slips into a deep trance.

Sweat begins to form on Amulius’s worried brow.

AMULIUS

Nona. Decima. Morta. Speak to me!

The Sibyl’s comely countenance begins to change. She now appears as an old, cragged hag. Morta has come speak to Amulius in one of her many disguises for mortals.

AMULIUS

Speak. Now! Tell me of my future.

Morta’s words are haughty, disdainful toward Amulius.

SIBYL/MORTA

Who has summoned Morta?

AMULIUS

I, Amulius, son of Proca, brother of

King Numitor.

SIBYL/MORTA

Ah, yes, Amulius. The man who would

be king of Alba Longa. Tell me,

pretender king, what do you seek?

AMULIUS

I need you to tell me what lies ahead

for me, goddess. Will I suffer

defeat at the hands of my brother or

claim victory over him?

SIBYL/MORTA

What lies ahead for all manner of

mortals who hunger for their brother’s

crown.

AMULIUS

Do not speak in riddles, old woman. I

have paid a king’s ransom for your

answer.

Morta, more indignant than ever, changes her countenance to that of her younger self.

SIBYL/MORTA

I am not an old woman.

AMULIUS

(angered)

I grow impatient, goddess.

SIBYL/MORTA

I do not speak in riddles, only

truth before gods and men–usurper.

AMULIUS

My patience grows thinner and thinner.

SIBYL/MORTA

And mine as well–of you–would-be

king.

AMULIUS

SPEAK!

SIBYL/MORTA

If the knowing of your future is what

you crave–then, very well. An answer

you shall have. By all the gods has

Jupiter decreed–by sunset Alba Longa

shall have a new king. But, be fore-
warned, Amulius. Your days, too, are

numbered. Before your thread is cut–

SIBYL/MORTA (CONT’D)

by the hands of the rightful heir

shall justice be returned to this

land and King Numitor to his throne.

AMULIUS

By what trick of the gods do you

mock me?

SIBYL/MORTA

It is no trick, Amulius, only the

truth. When the wall, yet not a wall,

of the city has been breached, one son

shall rise, the second fall, the one

cut down by your heir. He who remains,

atrue king, shall rule Jupiter’s city

–glorious and eternal–and a world

such has never been seen, nor shall ever

be seen again. From this death–and

yours–an empire shall be born, wrought

in blood and iron, with many kings who

shall rule a long season, but only after

the one has departed, then after, kings

and consuls, each to slaughter the other

until all have fallen and only the

barbarians are left to rule this land.

When you are dead and gone, Amulius,

know this. A Sabine shall also rule

beside the first. The first of many in

payment for the treachery you are about to perpetrate against your brother.

AMULIUS

What kind of fool do you take me for?

A Sabine pig to rule over my kingdom?

Over my dead body!

SIBYL/MORTA

That is your destiny, Amulius. Live

with it.

AMULIUS

I have heard all the lies I am going

to hear. LEAVE ME, goddess! NOW!

Before I become truly angry.

SIBYL/MORTA

Before I go, would-be king, you shall

hear one last prophecy. One last

thing to satisfy the pleasure of

Jupiter. Because you have offended

the gods with your lust for power–

and your greed for your brother’s

throne, harm one hair on Numitor’s

head and no seed of yours shall ever

hope to inherit this kingdom. Enjoy

your reign while you can, Amulius,

you and your son, for it will be a

very short one.

Amulius grabs the sibyl angrily.

AMULIUS

I paid forty pieces of Trojan gold

for his? With what nonsense do you

dare mock your king?

SIBYL/MORTA

You are no king.

As Morta departs the body of the Sibyl, her body goes limp. Livid with rage, Amulius unsheaths his knife from his belt.

ACTIUS

(trying to stop Amulius)

My lord, it is the oracle now, not

Morta.

AMULIUS

Do you think I care? She spoke of

a son. I have no sons from my long

dead wife. Only a daughter to love

and to cherish.

The Sibyl re-awakens to find her life in very grave danger.

AMULIUS
To Hades with you and all your

lying gods!

Amulius plunges the knife deep into the sibyl’s body. Clinging desperately to him, to life, she curses Amulius.

SIBYL

What you have done to me, so shall

It be done to you and your seed.

AMULIUS

Did you not hear me, prophetess?

With your coming here and seeking

fame upon my fortune, a multitude

of lies upon your lips? I have no

sons.

The Sibyl expires.

AMULIUS

And as long as I can draw breath

and sire children, Numitor will

not sit upon the throne of Alba

Longa–not ever again.

Amulius throws the Sibyl’s dead body to the floor. Actius is now very afraid.

ACTIUS

You have angered the gods, Sire.

AMULIUS

Men make their own destinies, Actius,

not the gods. I should have

remembered. Prophecies and curses

are for old women and schoolboys.

ACTIUS

She was a daughter of Apollo.

AMULIUS

She was–right about one thing,

though.

ACTIUS

My lord?

AMULIUS

A son. One day, I should like to

have a son follow me as king.

ACTIUS

You have Antho.

AMULIUS

My brother has three sons–and I only

a daughter.

ACTIUS
You will need to marry again.

AMULIUS

What did the sibyl say again concerning

Numitor? Ah, yes. By the hands of his

rightful heir shall Numitor be returned

to his throne. Well. We can’t have

that now, can we, if I am to marry

again and have a son and heir.

ACTIUS

She also said you and your heir would

die if you touched one hair on Numitor’s

head.

AMULIUS

Not if his heirs all die first and I

make certain he can father no more

children. Then there would be no

cause to worry about my brother

regaining my throne now–would there?

ACTIUS

No, Sire.

AMULIUS

Good. You do see it, then.

ACTIUS

What would you have me do, Amulius?

AMULIUS

In the heat of battle you will make

certain Linus and Telemachus are

killed.–And Aegestus. You will

then bring Ilia to me alive. I have

something–singular–in mind for my

niece.

Actius exits. Several soldiers follow in formation as servants cower in the corner.

AMULIUS

(points to a servant)

You there. Clean up this mess.

(summons a guard soldier to him)

And you–there. Find the thief

who ran off with my gold.

Soldier salutes, exits.

AMULIUS

Lying, thieving witch. (to remaining

soldiers) We have work to do.

Prepare for battle.

Quickly, the soldiers file out behind Amulius as servants remain behind to attend the sibyl and mourn her.

NEW SCENE

INT. KING’S TREASURE HOUSE – EVENING

Midst Troy’s wealth of gold and jewels–and soldiers, Amulius consults with a Sibylline, a Seeress. An old woman who reveals to him his future. But it isn’t the seeress who will speak. It’s FORTUNA, daughter of Jupiter who will prophesy to him Amulius’s fate.

SIBYL

That is my price–for the man who would be a king.

AMULIUS

Forty pieces of gold from the treasures

of Troy? Forty pieces of thievery.

(beat)

Give her what she wants.

A soldier quickly obeys. Receiving her payment …

SIBYL

I shall need a moment.

As an attendant brings the old woman a potion to drink and a steaming, hot bowl of smelling salts before her, Jupiter and Fortuna watch from above–with wicked delight.

FORTUNA

Mortals.

JUPITER

He does not need a seeress to know

his fate.

FORTUNA

But I shall tell him anyway.

Fortuna prepares to depart.

JUPITER

Take care, my daughter. Amulius is a

sly one.

FORTUNA

I am not afraid of him. It is he who

should be afraid—of me.

Fortuna vanishes…

to enter the body of the old woman, now under the spell of the salt’s vapors.

Amulius, all too anxious …

AMULIUS

I weary of patience! SPEAK! TELL ME OF

MY FUTURE!

Fortuna, now in the guise of the old woman …

FORTUNA/SIBYL

Who has summoned me?

AMULIUS

I, Amulius, son of Proca, brother of the

once king Numitor.

FORTUNA/SIBYL

Tell, me pretender king. What is it that

you seek?

AMULIUS

Will I be defeated by my brother, or will I claim

victory–and the throne of Alba Longa?

FORTUNA/SIBYL

What lies ahead for all mortals who hunger after

their brother’s inheritance.

AMULIUS

I paid a king’s ransom for your answer,

old woman! Do not speak to me in riddles!

Fortuna changes her countenance from that of the old woman to her young, youthful, beautiful self.

FORTUNA/SIBYL

I am not an old woman.

AMULIUS

I grow impatient!

FORTUNA/ SIBYL

Very well. Jupiter has decreed by nightfall Alba

Longa shall have a new king.—But be forewarned,

Amulius. Before your thread is cut. Before your time is done—justice shall return to this land. King Numitor shall be returned to his throne. By your own hand!

Fortuna angers Amulius.

AMULIUS

By what trick of the gods do you mock me?

FORTUNA/SYBYL

It is not trick, Amulius. By blood and fire, a

New empire shall be born. But you shall never be its ruler. Only the son of a god shall be its king.—And a Sabine shall rule after him. The first of many—in payment for your treachery.

AMULIUS

A Sabine pig to rule over my kingdom? Over my dead

body!

Fortuna laughs haughtily.

AMULIUS

LEAVE! BEFORE I TRULY BECOME ANGRY!

FROTUNA/SIBYL

Enjoy your reign while you and your son can. For

it will be a short one.

Amulius grabs the Sibyl as Fortuna departs. The Sibyl awakens to find she is in grave peril.

AMULIUS

I paid you forty pieces of Trojan gold for this?

Amulius swiftly takes a knife and plunges it deep into the Sibyl’s heart. As she falls to the floor dying, she whispers with her last breath …

SIBYL

You are NO king.

AMULIUS

Do you think I care what you think? To Hades with

All of you and all your lying gods!

A soldier steps up behind Amulius.

SOLDIER

My lord. She was a daughter of Apollo.

Amulius shakes in fear and disbelief.

AMULIUS

She spoke of a son. I have no son. Only a

daughter, Antho. My brother has three sons. And

a daughter.

SOLDIER

My lord. You can have a son.

AMULIUS

My wife is long dead.

SOLDIER

Remarry.

AMULIUS

Yes. Of course. I can marry again. And this time I will have my son. And he shall rule my kingdom When I am gone.

Amulius looks around him in silence. Servants cower in a corner. Several soldiers remain at Amulius’s side in obedience.

AMULIUS

I am going to have a son.

He stares at the old woman, now dead. He points to one of her attendants.

AMULIUS

You, there. Clean up this mess.

Gathering his wits again ….

AMULIUS

I have a war to attend to.

Quickly, Amulius marches out of the Treasure House, followed by his soldiers.

[Frances Emerson]

REWRITE ASSIGNMENT TWELVE

FRAN’S SCENE RATING

WHAT I LEARNED: That I still have a lot of work to do on this script. And on another script I’m trying to finish. There’s a lot to do yet. About 80% is my estimation.

I just need to dig in and get it done!

[Frances Emerson]

REWRITE ASSIGNMENT ELEVEN

FRAN’S OUTLINE TO SCRIPT

WHAT I LEARNED: Just apply everything I’ve learned in my classes to a rewrite. And just keep rewriting wherever needed.

This script in part one kept about half, but I knew this one needed a total overhaul. Part two was pretty much an entire rethink let alone rewrite. So, I think I kept about half but the other half, it was a total rewrite, and it really started with the outline/beatsheet.

And there will continue to be rewriting for awhile on this script.

[Frances Emerson]

P.S. I forgot to add mine is historical fiction/fantasy on the founding of Rome, an alternative story that blends the different stories that were written long ago. Gods and goddesses are in the story.

[Frances Emerson]

FRAN’S OUTLINE EXCHANGE NUMBER #1

I am ready to exchange my outline.

emersofe@yahoo.com

[Frances Emerson]

FRAN’s FASCINATING SCENE OUTLINE

WHAT I LEARNED: There’s a lot of detail work in just the outlining!

Written by Frances Emerson

emersofe@yahoo.com

TITLE: BORN OF BLOOD AND FIRE

GENRE: HISTORICAL FICTION/FANTASY

LOGLINE: Her world torn apart by an uncle’s greed and lust for power for his brother’s throne, an innocent, young woman, along with her two sons, embark on a journey forged by the gods, who are destined to found the greatest empire the world has ever known.

General Geography Italy: before the dawn of Rome. The kingdom is situated close to the Tiber River: Alba Longa. Near mountains and a lake, the Seven Hills where Rome will be founded. Near its northern borders is the Land of the Sabines, a generally peaceful people, but when riled can be merciless and foreboding on the battlefield.

General Flora and Fauna: what is generally found in Italy today. And there is good hunting, deer. Good fishing. Grapes, olives. Many edible delights.

Resources Available: The Sabines trade with Alba Longa. They have a general peace treaty. They need salt from the Tiber River and free passage to and fro along the Salarian Way. In return, they trade their finest wines, oil and horses with the Albans. In the vicinity of the Palatine and Aventine Hills there are fertile valleys, various crops are grown, sheep and cattle are grazed. The Malitiosa Forest borders the valleys near the Land of the Sabines. Their greatest resources are salt and the Tiber River, both are essential for the Albans and the Sabines to live. And the land, fertile for crops, grazing land, hunting lands. Both sides lust after all.

General Culture and Conflicts: The Albans still hold dear the ways of the old Greeks, they are the descendants of Troy–now long destroyed. They carry on with the ways of the old kings and their bloodline. Kings still rule, and there is bitter rivalry between the present brothers who rule Alba Longa. There is war brewing in the kingdom. Brother against brother, the younger craving the power and glory and throne of his older brother–to rule the land with an iron fist.

Protagonist: ILIA. She is the young, sweet, innocent, trusting, but very stubborn, determined, only daughter of King NUMITOR. At the beginning of the story, she wants nothing, and wants for nothing, but to live her life out in peace and harmony with her father and older brothers and to live the life of a pampered princess. And to be happy.

Antagonist: UNCLE AMULIUS. Lustful, full of avarice, he craves his brother’s power and his throne. Narcissistic. Pure evil. But at the beginning of his reign, he does have a tender heart for his young, newborn son, Celeres. He will stop at nothing to get that throne–to the point of killing every heir his brother has produced and the possibility of any future heirs being produced by his children or him.

Relationship Character: ANTHO, the daughter of Amulius, Ilia’s cousin. Sad, tender hearted, resigned to her fate for a time, she tries to keep Ilia with her at the Vestal Virgin’s convent and out of harm’s way of her father, but will ultimately be the one to help Ilia escape and flee Amulius, Antho’s father. The attempt will fail. But she will succeed in fleeing her father.

Distraction Character: He is the war god MARS. He is a distraction for Ilia when she is escaping. He gives her love and protection for a short while from her uncle’s wrath. He will father one of her twin sons.

Emotion Character: This is TEZZA, Amulius new wife. The princess who is unfortunate enough to marry Amulius and bear him a son and heir. She ultimately dies a violent death at the hands of her husband. He strangles her.

Reason Character: Will have to be the gods themselves: JUPITER, NONA, FORTUNA. They have a plan, a goal. the founding of Rome and they stick to it. Also later, the twin son Romulus will be fairly reasonable, level-headed in his actions, as opposed to his brother Remus who will be more emotional, hot headed.

Support Character: Also the gods. They help Ilia every step of the way to stay alive and accomplish their goals. Also, her father’s old manservant. He will support her, care for her and save her twin sons from a drowning decreed by Amulius.

Opposition Character: This is CELERES, Amulius son from his marriage to TEZZA before she is murdered. He is the image of evil as his father is. Slick. Cunning. Narcissistic like his father. Is only a good friend when the need suits his goals or purpose. And he will do everything he can to secure his ascension to the throne after his father–to the point of murder himself.

Ilia’s Journey. ACT ONE Ilia’s world is destroyed by her evil uncle Amulius.

Big Picture: We learn at the beginning the gods are manipulating man’s fate again, this time through the descendants of the destroyed kingdom of Troy. Superiority from the beginning.

HOOK: As Jupiter argues with his son Mars, he tells him of his plan to build a new, greater empire on the old one that was destroyed through war because of Mars’ belligerence. And as his punishment for destroying Troy, he will use Mars’ seed to found and build it. Mars is then exiled from Olympus.

1. Beginning: She is the daughter of King Numitor, happy and content just to be a princess in the kingdom of Alba Longa. She loves her father, her brothers, her life.

Surprise twist: We learn just who Jupiter is really going to use to found his empire on Earth, the innocent young princess, Ilia.

2. Inciting Incident: But war looms in the kingdom. Uncle Amulius is in the process of usurping King Numitor’s throne. He kills Ilia’s brothers and then castrates Numitor before sending him into exile. He then sentences Ilia to a life as a Vestal Virgin. If she breaks her vows to remain untouched, she will die.

Suspense: the boo/hiss factor. We learn just how evil Uncle Amulius really is and what he will do to get and retain his power.

3. Refusal of the Call/Turning Point 1: Ilia, stubborn, determined, will not remain. She plans her escape, but it fails. She is beaten severely and brought back to the Vestal convent where her cousin, Antho, and her father’s old manservant care for her wounds and nurses her back to health.

Surprise: We also learn that Amulius has a daughter. As evil as he is showing us to be. It fills us with intrigue as to who she is and what her role in Ilia’s story will eventually be.

ACT TWO ILIA FINDS HER WAY INTO A NEW WORLD, A NEW LIFE

4. Quest into the New World: But Ilia continues to refuse to stay. She tries to escape yet again when she is recovered and can find a way to do it. This time with the help of the gods, she escapes. She finds her way to Mars’ temple near the Aventine Hill where she has learned her father resides. She tries to flee there, but has to stop to rest for a while. There, she encounters the war god Mars. They fall madly in love with the help of Jupiter, Fortuna and Cupid, make love and conceives her first born twin, Romulus, through Mars.

Surprise: We learn something new! That Ilia isn’t the sweet, innocent, helpless little teen we are introduced in the story. We now see a feisty, stubborn, recalcitrant young woman, defying her uncle’s evil deeds. She will not bend to his will if she can help it. It makes us root for her.

5. Midpoint: Amulius discovers he’s been betrayed by Tezza and rapes her, also learning Ilia has escaped. He goes to bring her back and to punish her for fleeing the Vestal convent. And to ensure she doesn’t do it again, he rapes her, too, only to conceive a second son, Remus, Amulius’ son. Antho and the old manservant have followed Amulius, sadly learning what he has done. They take Ilia back to the convent to nurse her back to health. It’s a long recovery, but nine months later and well again, and she gives birth to her twin sons, the first belonging to Mars.

Suspense: We are learning here just how evil Amulius really is and at what lengths he will go to secure his brother’s throne for himself. This suspense section is not over, it will carry over to give us a much need, later surprise in the story. We also learn the gods’ will is still in play here. It fills us with questions as to what is going to happen next. Will Ilia still try to defy her uncle and escape, now that she is a mother of twin sons?

6. Turning Point 2: Days later, recovered and well again. Ilia plans yet another escape. This time with Antho and the old manservant’s help. Antho is also going to leave the convent for good, she says. She will not stay there any longer. She hates her father for what he’s done. She knows what he has done. She even believes the boys are her little brothers. They plan their escape.

Intrigue: suspense. We are rooting for Ilia. Added Surprise. We learn this time Antho is going to go with her, help her to escape again this time successfully. Antho hates her father and wants nothing to do with him anymore. AND we know, as she suspects that the twins just may be her little brothers from the violence her father did on her cousin.

7. They make it to the Malatiosa Forest and the crossroads between the Palatine and Aventine Hills and the Land of the Sabines. There they part ways. Antho, to the Palatine, where she believes her father won’t look for her, and Ilia to the Aventine to search out her father. Antho has success in escaping her fate, But Ilia does not. She is caught yet again and taken back in chains to be sentenced,

ROLLER COASTER RIDE for the viewer. Suspense Ilia is yet caught again. This time we know Amulius has told her if she escapes another time, this time it will mean her life!

8. Dilemma: Amulius is finished with her and now he must get rid of the sons he believes he fathered with her. He sentences her to drowning in the Tiber River. She is to be thrown off a high cliff. Her sons are to be taken to the river as well and drowned. For his part in helping Ilia escape, the old manservant is sentenced to drown the twins. But as he watches Ilia being tossed into the river off the cliff, her hands bound, he cannot drown the boys. Instead, he wraps them in Ilia’s cloak, places them in a cradle and gently sends them down river where Mars’ wolves will find them, and care for them for a short time.

Suspense, terror: we are afraid for the characters as we watch and hear Amulius sentence Ilia to a horrible death by drowning. Her sons are also condemned to a drowning in the Tiber River. Will Amulius succeed in killing Ilia this time AND her sons. OR will the gods again help her escape, this time for good. We are still on the ROLLER COASTER RIDE HERE.

ON THE EDGE OF OUR SEATS:

9. Conflict: Ilia struggles to live. With the help of the gods, Tiberinus the river god, unbinds her ropes so she can swim freely, but she has little strength and she is failing to save herself. She cries out for help. An older man with his nephew, Gracchus and Titus, hear Ilia’s cries and go to her rescue. Gracchus recognizes her and tells Titus they must hide her from her evil uncle. They give her a new name RHEA SILVIA and spirit her away back to Cures, their city in the Land of the Sabines.

YES! The gods have saved her. And she is saved with the help of the Sabine king and his nephew. A BREATHER.

NOW we are in a superior position over Amulius. He believes Ilia and his misbegotten twins are now dead. But we know the twins are saved and Ilia is saved

10. Months pass. Faustulus, the shepherd, with his young son Lucius, are in the fields tending to their flocks near the Tiber River when they hear the cries of babies. They go to investigate to find Ilia’s sons alive and well and healthy in a nearby cave. Faustulus knows they must be the royal twins and tells his son Amulius must never know they are still alive. They swear each other to secrecy and make up a story to tell the villagers. They are foundlings, left by parents long dead. They take them home, to their village, to raise the boys themselves.

A TWIST! A SURPRISE! They boys are found by a shepherd and his son and taken home to be raised by them.

The IRONIC TWIST! The boys are raised by shepherds who work for Amulius!

We are left with a cliffhanger. What is to become of the twins? Of Ilia?

END OF PART ONE

PART TWO ILIA’S JOURNEY AS A SABIN WIFE AND MOTHER, SHE DISCOVERS HER TWIN BOYS ARE ALIVE

Eighteen years later …

11. Beginning: The boys are now grown, handsome young men. The twins, Romulus and Remus are shepherds in the house of Faustulus and Larentia. They are happy, healthy, contented to be shepherds. They are bold, fearless, regal, but with a temper, Remus is a bit hotheaded, Romulus a little more level-headed. They fancy themselves the leaders of their tribe. They believe only what they’ve been told about their birth. That they were foundlings and their parents are dead. They do not know who their mother or father are (though Faustulus does. He has a pretty solid idea). Romulus is the hunter, provider. Remus has a mischievous heart and can get himself into much trouble with his friend, Celeres. Celeres is the number one instigator, however. He makes no excuses for himself and he does whatever he wishes, when he wishes.

Start with some eye candy. The we build INTRIGUE. Are these the twins all grown up? We are led to think they are. Along with Celeres.

Celeres is rich, spoiled, cunning like his father, Amulius. But he is a coward. He will turn his back on his friends on a dime. He is selfish and makes demands even of his father. His father does give in to him, even though Amulius knows he is not the son and heir he thought he whould have in him when he was born.

Ilia, now known in the Land of the Sabines as Rhea Silvia, is Gracchus’ wife. She is the matriarch of the Sabines and stepmother to the heir apparent to his late father’s throne, Titus, now also a grown and a handsome young man. She has become the mother of a young, beautiful, of marrying age, daughter, SABINA. betrothed to Titus. Sabina will be queen of the Sabines one day. Ilia also has a newborn son, NUMA, who will in the future become the second king of Rome after its founding. (But Ilia does not really know that yet. Only the gods. She will be told.)

INTRIGUE Who is this beautiful young woman? And the young man who comes to carry her back home?

12. Inciting Incident: There is war in the valley between the Palatine and Aventine Hills, the shepherds and cattlemen of the brothers fight. Numitor’s men have stealing cattle from Amulius’ men and also sheep in retaliation for Amulius’ men’s many raids on their livestock–with Celeres and Remus’ help. Now Amulius’ men fight to get their stolen cattle back. Celeres is the instigator yet again, egging on the men to fight Numitor’s shepherds and cattlemen. Leading the fight with him again is Remus. Remus is all too eager to help, thinking he is fighting for justice and fairness for his village.

ACTION/SUSPENSE. What’s going on? What are these boys getting themselves into?

13. Refusal of the Call: In the skirmish, Remus is captured and Celeres, the coward he is, escapes to live another day. Remus is taken to Numitor by the men of Numitor’s herdsmen and shepherds to be judged. But Numitor says he cannot judge. He cannot judge this boy or Celeres as the herdsmen wish because Amulius must be the one to judge. He is the king. The herdsmen tell Numitor Amulius is not their king. Numitor is–their rightful king. He always has been. And one day with the help of the gods he will be again. But Numitor is doubtful.

We are in a SUPERIOR POSTION NOW KNOWING THE THIS ONE TWIN IS Remus one of Ilia’s boys. We are in a SUPERIOR position knowing the backstory.

As a new treaty is being negotiated between Amulius and Gracchus, there is tension, distrust. Gracchus senses Amulius is not playing fair in the negotiations. (Amulius is the one who killed Titus’s father, Gracchus brother in an earlier war.) He is right. Amulius is plotting yet another war with the Sabines. He finds he wants their fertile lands–to expand his empire—and his own pockets. And Celeres, who’s in love with Gracchus’s daughter, Sabina, adds his two cents into the negotiations. He tells his father, Gracchus he wants Sabina for his wife. But Gacchus must politely refuse, noting she is already betrothed to his nephew,Titus. But Gracchus knows now, as they return home to Cures, what Amulius really wants from the Sabines with these new treaty negotiations. It’s not land or goods for trade–but Sabina!

SUPERIOR POSTION. We know some backstory here, too.

14. Quest into the New World: Celeres, when Gracchus is gone, demands of his father, he wants Sabine for himself and he intends to get her one day or the other. Amulius is okay with that because he wants the Sabine land. He tells his son to be patient. He will kill two birds with one stone–in time. The right time. Amulius already has a plan for war in the works. They will both get what they want–in due time. Just be patient.

In the meantime, Faustulus has been badly hurt in the fracas and fears he may be dying. He calls for Romulus and Remus to tell them the truth of their life, their existence now before it’s too late. But Remus has been taken hostage, unbeknownst to the villagers for the moment. Romulus is quickly found and taken to his foster father. Alone, he must hear the true story of who their mother is and what happened to her. He is then sworn to tell Remus the story if Faustulus does indeed die. Romulus swears it. He hates Amulius. Always has, and he swears vengeance upon the pretender king for his mother and for his grandfather—the rightful king.

We are THRUST INTO A DIFFERENT DIRECTION.

Gracchus has returned home to inform Ilia what her uncle intends for their daughter. She is horror stricken. She CANNOT deal with her uncle ever again under ANY circumstances. But it looks like she has to—to save their daughter. And, if there’s any chance to restore her father to the throne of Alba Longa, she wants to take it.

15. Turning Point 1: Romulus must now go to find Remus, tell him the story of their true birth and heritage. He has heard he’s been taken hostage again and is with Numitor, the old king, their grandfather.

While Ilia and Gracchus get set for their war with Amulius, Numitor deals with Remus. He has a deja vu experience as he looks upon the boy’s face and discovers he is the spitting image of his daughter, Ilia. The resemblance is uncanny. He also suddenly has the feeling this boy just might, indeed, be one of the grandson’s he thought he had lost in the Tiber River long ago. He asks the boy questions. All Remus knows is that he was orphaned. He is a foundling and that he and his brother were raised by Amulius’ shepherds, Faustulus and Larentia. Numitor feels more pangs in his heart–a brother? Remus says, yes, his twin brother, Romulus.

INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL DILEMMAS

Numitor’s suspicions are confirmed. But the men want a judgment. Numitor says he must be taken to Amulius. But he fears, Amulius will see it, too, if Remus is taken to him. The resemblance. Should he take that chance?

Antho enters and sees Remus as he passes her, the resemblance. Antho hurries to Numitor and asks him, did he see it. Numitor says yes. He is certain of it. He is my grandson, Ilia’s son.

ACT THREE UNCLE AMULIUS RETURNS TO THREATEN ILIA’S WORLD AGAIN

16. Midpoint: Remus is taken to Amulius, who does see the resemblance as he examines him up close. It makes him think, is this my son with Ilia? He questions the boy as well and finds that he likes him very much. A brave lad, strong, like the son he wanted in Celeres—and finds he now has with Remus. He has always thought well of him–as his son’s companion he knew very little of otherwise. He wishes to get closer to Remus. Befriend him to the anger of Numitor’s men—and Celeres’. Amulius releases him, pardons him. Tells him to join him at his court. The men are enraged even further. As Remus is sent on his way, they vow to seek their own vengeance and plot to kidnap Remus once again when the time is right–the LUPERCALIA CELEBRATION—and punish him themselves.

INTRIGUE

A TWINGE OF UNCERTAINTY

As soon as all are gone, Amulius tells his son what a sniveling, weak, little coward he is. He’s not worthy to ascend the throne. Remus should have been his son. Celeres blows up in his father’s face, angry. Amulius orders his servants attending to take Celeres away and plant him in his mother’s grave to rot there with her.

TWIST

AWKWARD MOMENTS FOR CELERES. BETRAYED BY HIS OWN FATHER

But Celeres, cursing and vowing to get even one day, escapes before they can catch him and carry out Amulius’ orders.

Amulius invades Sabine country to massive destruction. He gives Gracchus an ultimatum. Sabina is to be handed over to him or face desolation of his city, of his country. Gracchus will not bend! It is war. They fight. Gracchus is mortally wounded as Titus tries to spirit Sabina away to safety. Sabia sees her father wounded before her eyes by Amulius, stabbed with a knife, and runs to him before he dies. Amulius finally gets to see her and begins thinking to himself, such a prize, a beauty, should only be reserved for a king. A new plan. Amulius will take Sabina for himself to sire a new heir to his throne through her. Ilia’s worst nightmare has come true, She must deal with her uncle more as Gracchus dies in her arms. She swears vengeance on his dying breath and tells Sabina to run to her grandfather’s for safety as fast as she can. Amulius gives Ilia 24 hours to decide. Amulius also has a deja vu experience when he finally looks upon Ilia once more. He feels he knows this Sabine woman. Ilia has veiled her face from him to hide her looks. the years have hidden more from Amulius. Amulius takes his leave, as Ilia decides, she will not have it. She tells Titus and Emmrys, Gracchus’ trusted right hand, they going to war—to save Sabina. She is going to kill him herself before he does anything to hurt her. She will not let that man touch her as he touched her–upon her own death if need be.

TWIST

Sabina runs to the Aventine Hill to be with Numitor, to meet up with Remus as he finds his way home to the Palatine Hill. They are immediately smitten with each other—with the help of the gods–as Celeres in his flight sees their meeting, their embrace, and becomes jealous and vengeful of the two.

A LOVE STORY PROMISING A VERY UNHAPPY ENDING

17. Turning Point 2 The Lupercalia celebration. Romulus and Remus are together tending to the flocks as the men celebrate the festival. They talk of more war in the valley. And it is a good time, Romulus says, for him to tell Remus the story he was told, and does. Remus reels from the story. They hear the bleating of one of the king’s prize lambs. Remus says he will go and go take care of it. Numitor’s men have tied the animal up as a lure, setting a trap. As Remus goes to rescue the lamb’s rescue, they pounce on him, tie the boy up in heavy ropes and chains and haul him away.

18. Dilemma: Sabina returns home to tell her mother. She no longer wants to marry Titus. She has found another, a wonderful, shepherd boy she wishes to marry instead. He lives among Amulius’ men, frightening Ilia to the core. She tells Sabina she should not have returned. It’s not safe for her, for anyone. But it’s too late. War is coming. Her time has run out. Ilia has one of her handmaiden’s take Numa and leave with him to safety. As Amulius returns even more determined than ever to claim his booty, he demands Ilia’s answer. Ilia says no. He then tells her she really has little choice in the matter. An army is backing him up. There are only two choices left to her now. Hand over Sabina to him, or the remainder of her Sabine family will be killed. Along with her. Amulius gives Ilia the awful feeling Amulius knows who she is. They struggle, fight. Sabina is taken hostage. As he leaves, Amulius tells Ilia he knows who she is and she will never see her daughter again–ever.

THE THREAT OF WAR, SUSPENSE, UNCERTAINTY

Ilia swears vengeance–to Titus and Emmrys–if that’s the last thing she ever does. There is no turning back now. She can no longer run and hide from her evil uncle. They must go to war to rescue Sabina. They must go to war on Alba Longa.

TURN OF EVENTS

19. Conflict: Celeres is back at the palace waiting for his father to return when Numitor’s men bring Remus in. They ask Celeres to judge now. He is more than happy to accommodate. In retaliation for his taking Sabina from him, he sentences Remus to death and tells the men to throw him in a cage below as they prepare him for his execution. Happily, they obey.

20. Climax: Romulus has been told Remus was taken to Numitor’s on the Aventine Hill. Faustulus recovered, tells Romulus to go there, reason with Numitor. Numitor is a good man–AND he will listen to his grandson. But he’s told Remus is not there when he arrives. Numitor finally gets to meet his other grandson, but he doesn’t look like Ilia or Amulius. No one he knows, in fact. He tells Romulus Remus was taken hostage again by the cattlemen. Numitor says they will take him to the palace again to be judged. Surely this time Amulius will kill him, if he knows who he is. Romulus says Remus knows the truth of his heritage. He looks so much like your mother, Numitor says. But you. Romulus tells him, we must take back Alba Longa, rescue Remus and restore Numitor to the throne—for the sake of their family.

MISLEADING/ REVEAL

21. Resolution: Romulus takes his rabble of cattlemen to set Remus free and take back Alba Longa as Ilia and her Sabine army head for the city. NUMITOR GOES WITH ROMULUS.

Amulius enters the city with his hostage, taking her to the cellars of the palace to put her in the cage with Remus. They immediately cling to each other. Amulius sees it and retaliates, giving her an ultimatum. You were betrothed to Titus. Celeres wanted you. It’s apparent you want this one. But you have only this one choice instead. In order to spare your life and the life of our mother and your people, you shall be my next queen–or the remainder of her family WILL be killed–along with her. That is her choice. He gives her two hours to decide! Amulius then leaves as unrest comes to the inner walls of Alba Longa.

Celeres has heard all from where he hides. In anger he vows to kill his father for taking his bride. He goes to the cage to taunt the two lovebirds also catching them in a lovers’ embrace. He tells Remus he knows how his father favored Remus over him. But no more, when Amulius dies and he is king, Remus will die right along with him. He then he tells Sabina, you could have been queen. He vows to kill her, too, for their betrayal. Celeres calls Sabina a worthless whore and disappears vowing to return to carry out his promise.

MAJOR TWIST (ROADBLOCK): Romulus and his rabble breach the city. Numitor thinks he knows where Remus might be. Ilia, too, approaches the city with her army, Titus, and Emmrys. She, too, knows where Amulius might be—where he might be keeping Sabina. Believing the worst, she says they must find her before what happened to Tezza and her happens to Sabina. In her search, Amulius has come to Ilia, confronting her and her army. Where is my daughter, she asks? She will not back down. He will die, she vows, if she is not returned immediately, safe and WHOLE. Amulius feigns defeat and tells Ilia he will take her to cellars of the palace. Silently, he bids his men to follow. There, Ilia finds Sabina in the cage with Remus. Ilia feels/knows in her heart, somehow, she has also found one of her twin sons. It shakes her to the core. Numitor enters with Romulus to find his daughter already confronting Amulius. It appears Amulius is surrounded. But he has one last maneuver up his sleeve. In desperation, he tells Ilia he knows who the boys are. They are his. He will spare them if she hands over Sabina. But Ilia has some news for Amulius. She tells him what he does not know. She and Mars made love before he came to her and raped her. They are his, not Amulius’s. They are Mars’ sons. Romulus and Remus hear all. Numitor whispers to Romulus Sabina is your sister. Amulius, in his zeal to escape orders his army to strike Ilia’s and Romulus’. He rips Sabina from the cage, striking Ilia down. He forces Sabina out as his hostage so that he might escape. Romulus moves to free her. But Amulius has his knife in hand and cries out if I cannot have her no one can! Quickly, he plunges his dagger into Sabina’s chest killing her, stopping all commotion. Dead before her eyes, in shock, Ilia takes the knife from her daughter’s chest and quickly thrusts it deep into Amulius’ heart. Celeres sees it all from his hiding place. He watches his father fall/die. Seeing his chanceto escape, he vows one day to return and take his place on the throne. He then disappears. Romulus and Remus retake the city and place Numitor back on the throne again to the great joy and cheers of the people.

ACT FOUR AN UNHAPPY ENDING FOR EVERYONE

22. Denouement: Days, months pass, in is sadness, his sorrow, Numitor recognizes his grandsons and asks them to stay that they may one day take the throne and rule when he dies. But they do not. They want to build their own city. Ilia, in her sadness, sorrow, says she is returning to the land of the Sabines to raise Numa, their little brother. She tells them, it was foretold to her, that one day I would return and I have my sons sit on the throne of the greatest empire the world would ever know. They go their separate ways. The boys go to the Palentine and Aventine to search for omens to tell them what hill shall they are to build their new city upon and who will rule over it first. When they have their “signs” from the gods—but not without a lot of quarreling and bickering over who’s sign is THEE sign, they begin building their city of light on the Palatine Hill. But as they begin their construction, it is Remus who bickers. Romulus, he says, may be the older, but it is he who was sanctioned to rule over the new city by the gods. HIS signs were the true signs. More bickering and quarreling and fighting commence as Romulus ploughs the first burrow of the city’s wall. Celeres has come to fulfill his promise. As the twins fight and quarrel, he sees his chance and strikes down Remus dead only to run away again before he is caught. But, this time, Celeres doesn’t get very far when Romulus, in his strength and temper and power, with the help of the gods, catches up to Celeres and kills him in retaliation for killing Remus. Jupiter looks on in the heavens, satisfied his work is now complete. Romulus mourns bitterly for his brother as Ilia comes to mourn the loss of him, too, and her family when she is brought the news. What is left of it all now, but for Romulus to build Rome alone. Until Numa, who will follow his brother on the throne when he is grown. Comes of age. In the meantime, Ilia returns to the land of the Sabines to care for her young son. Who was prophesied to reign at the side of Romulus in his new found city Rome, the second king after Romulus, who would be the first. They were born in the shedding of blood and in the midst of a vestal fire’s glow. To, one day, build Rome. the eternal city of the gods.

SAD ENDING, SUSPENSE TO THE END. TWIST, SURPRISE. WE LEARN AN NEW ENDING OF AN ANCIENT STORY. ONE THAT IS TOLD IN THE ANCIENT ANNALS BUT WE HAVE NOT HEARD.

[Frances Emerson]

Fran’s Elevated characters

What I learned: Just continue on to make your characters, your story the best it can be in the structure.

I have worked on the logline and made sure my lead characters are right to the story I’ve created and they occupy at least 90% of the story. Ilia, Amulius and her sons in part two.

[Frances Emerson]

FRan’s Fine Tuning my Outline

What I learned: Just keep going, keep writing, make it strong, make it bold. And yes! Make your protagonist suffer! Boy! Is my protagonist suffering in her journey.

What I did was fine tuned my narrative throughout my outline. And I saw that I had to add a few things to the structure, I had left out part of my story in the first draft. So, I think it’s een better yet. And I will continue to work on it all the way through. but I do have the story down enough now that I can follow it well enough and keep to the narrative I’ve plotted out for it–following the sweat and tears of a lot of historical research and keeping to the stories that were told of the founding of Rome I found and thought would make an excellent new narrative and story for screen for the new generation. (The old movies needed a huge upgrade!)

Ilia’s Journey. PART ONE

Beginning: She is the daughter of King Numitor, happy and content just to be a princess in the kingdom of Alba Longa. She loves her father, her brothers, her life.

Inciting Incident: But war looms in the kingdom. Uncle Amulius is in the process of usurping King Numitor’s throne. He kills Ilia’s brothers and then castrates Numitor before sending him into exile. He then sentences Ilia to a life as a Vestal Virgin. If she breaks her vows to remain untouched, she will die.

Refusal of the Call/Turning Point 1: Ilia, stubborn, determined, will not remain. She plans her escape, but it fails. She is beaten severely and brought back to the Vestal convent where her cousin, Antho, and her father’s old manservant care for her wounds and nurses her back to health.

Quest into the New World: But Ilia continues to refuse to stay. She tries to escape yet again when she is recovered and can find a way to do it. This time with the help of the gods, she escapes. She finds her way to Mars’ temple near the Aventine Hill where she has learned her father resides. She tries to flee there, but has to stop to rest for a while. There, she encounters the war god Mars. They fall madly in love with the help of Jupiter, Fortuna and Cupid, make love and conceives her first born twin, Romulus, through Mars.

Midpoint: Amulius discovers he’s been betrayed by Tezza and rapes her, also learning Ilia has escaped. He goes to bring her back and to punish her for fleeing the Vestal convent. And to ensure she doesn’t do it again, he rapes her, too, only to conceive a second son, Remus, Amulius’ son. Antho and the old manservant have followed Amulius, sadly learning what he has done. They take Ilia back to the convent to nurse her back to health. It’s a long recovery, but nine months later and well again, and she gives birth to her twin sons, the first belonging to Mars.

Turning Point 2: Days later, recovered and well again. Ilia plans yet another escape. This time with Antho and the old manservant’s help. Antho is also going to leave the convent for good, she says. She will not stay there any longer. She hates her father for what he’s done. She knows what he has done. She even believes the boys are her little brothers. They plan their escape.

They make it to the Malatiosa Forest and the crossroads between the Palatine and Aventine Hills and the Land of the Sabines. There they part ways. Antho, to the Palatine, where she believes her father won’t look for her, and Ilia to the Aventine to search out her father. Antho has success in escaping her fate, But Ilia does not. She is caught yet again and taken back in chains to be sentenced,

Dilemma: Amulius is finished with her and ow he must get rid of the sons he believes he fathered with her. He sentences her to drowning in the Tiber River. She is to be thrown off a high cliff. Her sons are to be taken to the river as well and drowned. For his part in helping Ilia escape, the old manservant is sentenced to drown the twins. But as he watches Ilia being tossed into the river off the cliff, her hands bound, he cannot drown the boys. Instead, he wraps them in Ilia’s cloak, places them in a cradle and gently sends them down river where Mars’ wolves will find them, and care for them for a short time.

Conflict: Ilia struggles to live. With the help of the gods, Tiberinus the river god, unbinds her ropes so she can swim freely, but she has little strength and she is failing to save herself. She cries out for help. An older man with his nephew, Gracchus and Titus, hear Ilia’s cries and go to her rescue. Gracchus recognizes her and tells Titus they must hide her from her evil uncle. They give her a new name RHEA SILVIA and spirit her away back to Cures, their city in the Land of the Sabines.

Months pass. Faustulus, the shepherd, with his young son Lucius, are in the fields tending to their flocks near the Tiber River when they hear the cries of babies. They go to investigate to find Ilia’s sons alive and well and healthy in a nearby cave. Faustulus knows they must be the royal twins and tells his son Amulius must never know they are still alive. They swear each other to secrecy and make up a story to tell the villagers. They are foundlings, left by parents long dead. They take them home, to their village, to raise the boys themselves.

END OF PART ONE

PART TWO

Eighteen years later …

Beginning: The boys are now grown, handsome young men. The twins, Romulus and Remus are shepherds in the house of Faustulus and Larentia. They are happy, healthy, contented to be shepherds. They are bold, fearless, regal, but with a temper, Remus is a bit hotheaded, Romulus a little more level-headed. They fancy themselves the leaders of their tribe. They believe only what they’ve been told about their birth. That they were foundlings and their parents are dead. They do not know who their mother or father are (though Faustulus does. He has a pretty solid idea). Romulus is the hunter, provider. Remus has a mischievous heart and can get himself into much trouble with his friend, Celeres. Celeres is the number one instigator, however. He makes no excuses for himself and he does whatever he wishes, when he wishes.

Celeres is rich, spoiled, cunning like his father, Amulius. But he is a coward. He will turn his back on his friends on a dime. He is selfish and makes demands even of his father. His father does give in to him, even though Amulius knows he is not the son and heir he thought he whould have in him when he was born.

Ilia, now known in the Land of the Sabines as Rhea Silvia, is Gracchus’ wife. She is the matriarch of the Sabines and stepmother to the heir apparent to his late father’s throne, Titus, now also a grown and a handsome young man. She has become the mother of a young, beautiful, of marrying age, daughter, SABINA. betrothed to Titus. Sabina will be queen of the Sabines one day. Ilia also has a newborn son, NUMA, who will in the future become the second king of Rome after its founding. (But Ilia does not really know that yet. Only the gods. She will be told.)

Inciting Incident: There is war in the valley between the Palatine and Aventine Hills, the shepherds and cattlemen of the brothers fight. Numitor’s men have stealing cattle from Amulius’ men and also sheep in retaliation for Amulius’ men’s many raids on their livestock–with Celeres and Remus’ help. Now Amulius’ men fight to get their stolen cattle back. Celeres is the instigator yet again, egging on the men to fight Numitor’s shepherds and cattlemen. Leading the fight with him again is Remus. Remus is all too eager to help, thinking he is fighting for justice and fairness for his village.

Refusal of the Call: In the skirmish, Remus is captured and Celeres, the coward he is, escapes to live another day. Remus is taken to Numitor by the men of Numitor’s herdsmen and shepherds to be judged. But Numitor says he cannot judge. He cannot judge this boy or Celeres as the herdsmen wish because Amulius must be the one to judge. He is the king. The herdsmen tell Numitor Amulius is not their king. Numitor is–their rightful king. He always has been. And one day with the help of the gods he will be again. But Numitor is doubtful.

As a new treaty is being negotiated between Amulius and Gracchus, there is tension, distrust. Gracchus senses Amulius is not playing fair in the negotiations. (Amulius is the one who killed Titus’s father, Gracchus brother in an earlier war.) He is right. Amulius is plotting yet another war with the Sabines. He finds he wants their fertile lands–to expand his empire—and his own pockets. And Celeres, who’s in love with Gracchus’s daughter, Sabina, adds his two cents into the negotiations. He tells his father, Gracchus he wants Sabina for his wife. But Gacchus must politely refuse, noting she is already betrothed to his nephew,Titus. But Gracchus knows now, as they return home to Cures, what Amulius really wants from the Sabines with these new treaty negotiations. It’s not land or goods for trade–but Sabina!

Quest into the New World: Celeres, when Gracchus is gone, demands of his father, he wants Sabine for himself and he intends to get her one day or the other. Amulius is okay with that because he wants the Sabine land. He tells his son to be patient. He will kill two birds with one stone–in time. The right time. Amulius already has a plan for war in the works. They will both get what they want–in due time. Just be patient.

In the meantime, Faustulus has been badly hurt in the fracas and fears he may be dying. He calls for Romulus and Remus to tell them the truth of their life, their existence now before it’s too late. But Remus has been taken hostage, unbeknownst to the villagers for the moment. Romulus is quickly found and taken to his foster father. Alone, he must hear the true story of who their mother is and what happened to her. He is then sworn to tell Remus the story if Faustulus does indeed die. Romulus swears it. He hates Amulius. Always has, and he swears vengeance upon the pretender king for his mother and for his grandfather—the rightful king.

Gracchus has returned home to inform Ilia what her uncle intends for their daughter. She is horror stricken. She CANNOT deal with her uncle ever again under ANY circumstances. But it looks like she has to—to save their daughter. And, if there’s any chance to restore her father to the throne of Alba Longa, she wants to take it.

Turning Point 1: Romulus must now go to find Remus, tell him the story of their true birth and heritage. He has heard he’s been taken hostage again and is with Numitor, the old king, their grandfather.

While Ilia and Gracchus get set for their war with Amulius, Numitor deals with Remus. He has a deja vu experience as he looks upon the boy’s face and discovers he is the spitting image of his daughter, Ilia. The resemblance is uncanny. He also suddenly has the feeling this boy just might, indeed, be one of the grandson’s he thought he had lost in the Tiber River long ago. He asks the boy questions. All Remus knows is that he was orphaned. He is a foundling and that he and his brother were raised by Amulius’ shepherds, Faustulus and Larentia. Numitor feels more pangs in his heart–a brother? Remus says, yes, his twin brother, Romulus.

Numitor’s suspicions are confirmed. But the men want a judgment. Numitor says he must be taken to Amulius. But he fears, Amulius will see it, too, if Remus is taken to him. The resemblance. Should he take that chance?

Antho enters and sees Remus as he passes her, the resemblance. Antho hurries to Numitor and asks him, did he see it. Numitor says yes. He is certain of it. He is my grandson, Ilia’s son.

Midpoint: Remus is taken to Amulius, who does see the resemblance as he examines him up close. It makes him think, is this my son with Ilia? He questions the boy as well and finds that he likes him very much. A brave lad, strong, like the son he wanted in Celeres—and finds he now has with Remus. He has always thought well of him–as his son’s companion he knew very little of otherwise. He wishes to get closer to Remus. Befriend him to the anger of Numitor’s men—and Celeres’. Amulius releases him, pardons him. Tells him to join him at his court. The men are enraged even further. As Remus is sent on his way, they vow to seek their own vengeance and plot to kidnap Remus once again when the time is right–the LUPERCALIA CELEBRATION—and punish him themselves.

As soon as all are gone, Amulius tells his son what a sniveling, weak, little coward he is. He’s not worthy to ascend the throne. Remus should have been his son. Celeres blows up in his father’s face, angry. Amulius orders his servants attending to take Celeres away and plant him in his mother’s grave to rot there with her.

But Celeres, cursing and vowing to get even one day, escapes before they can catch him and carry out Amulius’ orders.

Amulius invades Sabine country to massive destruction. He gives Gracchus an ultimatum. Sabina is to be handed over to him or face desolation of his city, of his country. Gracchus will not bend! It is war. They fight. Gracchus is mortally wounded as Titus tries to spirit Sabina away to safety. Sabia sees her father wounded before her eyes by Amulius, stabbed with a knife, and runs to him before he dies. Amulius finally gets to see her and begins thinking to himself, such a prize, a beauty, should only be reserved for a king. A new plan. Amulius will take Sabina for himself to sire a new heir to his throne through her. Ilia’s worst nightmare has come true, She must deal with her uncle more as Gracchus dies in her arms. She swears vengeance on his dying breath and tells Sabina to run to her grandfather’s for safety as fast as she can. Amulius gives Ilia 24 hours to decide. Amulius also has a deja vu experience when he finally looks upon Ilia once more. He feels he knows this Sabine woman. Ilia has veiled her face from him to hide her looks. the years have hidden more from Amulius. Amulius takes his leave, as Ilia decides, she will not have it. She tells Titus and Emmrys, Gracchus’ trusted right hand, they going to war—to save Sabina. She is going to kill him herself before he does anything to hurt her. She will not let that man touch her as he touched her–upon her own death if need be.

Sabina runs to the Aventine Hill to be with Numitor, to meet up with Remus as he finds his way home to the Palatine Hill. They are immediately smitten with each other—with the help of the gods–as Celeres in his flight sees their meeting, their embrace, and becomes jealous and vengeful of the two.

Turning Point 2 The Lupercalia celebration. Romulus and Remus are together tending to the flocks as the men celebrate the festival. They talk of more war in the valley. And it is a good time, Romulus says, for him to tell Remus the story he was told, and does. Remus reels from the story. They hear the bleating of one of the king’s prize lambs. Remus says he will go and go take care of it. Numitor’s men have tied the animal up as a lure, setting a trap. As Remus goes to rescue the lamb’s rescue, they pounce on him, tie the boy up in heavy ropes and chains and haul him away.

Dilemma: Sabina returns home to tell her mother. She no longer wants to marry Titus. She has found another, a wonderful, shepherd boy she wishes to marry instead. He lives among Amulius’ men, frightening Ilia to the core. She tells Sabina she should not have returned. It’s not safe for her, for anyone. But it’s too late. War is coming. Her time has run out. Ilia has one of her handmaiden’s take Numa and leave with him to safety. As Amulius returns even more determined than ever to claim his booty, he demands Ilia’s answer. Ilia says no. He then tells her she really has little choice in the matter. An army is backing him up. There are only two choices left to her now. Hand over Sabina to him, or the remainder of her Sabine family will be killed. Along with her. Amulius gives Ilia the awful feeling Amulius knows who she is. They struggle, fight. Sabina is taken hostage. As he leaves, Amulius tells Ilia he knows who she is and she will never see her daughter again–ever.

Ilia swears vengeance–to Titus and Emmrys–if that’s the last thing she ever does. There is no turning back now. She can no longer run and hide from her evil uncle. They must go to war to rescue Sabina. They must go to war on Alba Longa.

Conflict: Celeres is back at the palace waiting for his father to return when Numitor’s men bring Remus in. They ask Celeres to judge now. He is more than happy to accommodate. In retaliation for his taking Sabina from him, he sentences Remus to death and tells the men to throw him in a cage below as they prepare him for his execution. Happily, they obey.

Climax: Romulus has been told Remus was taken to Numitor’s on the Aventine Hill. Faustulus recovered, tells Romulus to go there, reason with Numitor. Numitor is a good man–AND he will listen to his grandson. But he’s told Remus is not there when he arrives. Numitor finally gets to meet his other grandson, but he doesn’t look like Ilia or Amulius. No one he knows, in fact. He tells Romulus Remus was taken hostage again by the cattlemen. Numitor says they will take him to the palace again to be judged. Surely this time Amulius will kill him, if he knows who he is. Romulus says Remus knows the truth of his heritage. He looks so much like your mother, Numitor says. But you. Romulus tells him, we must take back Alba Longa, rescue Remus and restore Numitor to the throne—for the sake of their family.

Resolution: Romulus takes his rabble of cattlemen to set Remus free and take back Alba Longa as Ilia and her Sabine army head for the city. NUMITOR GOES WITH ROMULUS.

Amulius enters the city with his hostage, taking her to the cellars of the palace to put her in the cage with Remus. They immediately cling to each other. Amulius sees it and retaliates, giving her an ultimatum. You were betrothed to Titus. Celeres wanted you. It’s apparent you want this one. But you have only this one choice instead. In order to spare your life and the life of our mother and your people, you shall be my next queen–or the remainder of her family WILL be killed–along with her. That is her choice. He gives her two hours to decide! Amulius then leaves as unrest comes to the inner walls of Alba Longa.

Celeres has heard all from where he hides. In anger he vows to kill his father for taking his bride. He goes to the cage to taunt the two lovebirds also catching them in a lovers’ embrace. He tells Remus he knows how his father favored Remus over him. But no more, when Amulius dies and he is king, Remus will die right along with him. He then he tells Sabina, you could have been queen. He vows to kill her, too, for their betrayal. Celeres calls Sabina a worthless whore and disappears vowing to return to carry out his promise.

MAJOR TWIST (ROADBLOCK): Romulus and his rabble breach the city. Numitor thinks he knows where Remus might be. Ilia, too, approaches the city with her army, Titus, and Emmrys. She, too, knows where Amulius might be—where he might be keeping Sabina. Believing the worst, she says they must find her before what happened to Tezza and her happens to Sabina. In her search, Amulius has come to Ilia, confronting her and her army. Where is my daughter, she asks? She will not back down. He will die, she vows, if she is not returned immediately, safe and WHOLE. Amulius feigns defeat and tells Ilia he will take her to cellars of the palace. Silently, he bids his men to follow. There, Ilia finds Sabina in the cage with Remus. Ilia feels/knows in her heart, somehow, she has also found one of her twin sons. It shakes her to the core. Numitor enters with Romulus to find his daughter already confronting Amulius. It appears Amulius is surrounded. But he has one last maneuver up his sleeve. In desperation, he tells Ilia he knows who the boys are. They are his. He will spare them if she hands over Sabina. But Ilia has some news for Amulius. She tells him what he does not know. She and Mars made love before he came to her and raped her. They are his, not Amulius’s. They are Mars’ sons. Romulus and Remus hear all. Numitor whispers to Romulus Sabina is your sister. Amulius, in his zeal to escape orders his army to strike Ilia’s and Romulus’. He rips Sabina from the cage, striking Ilia down. He forces Sabina out as his hostage so that he might escape. Romulus moves to free her. But Amulius has his knife in hand and cries out if I cannot have her no one can! Quickly, he plunges his dagger into Sabina’s chest killing her, stopping all commotion. Dead before her eyes, in shock, Ilia takes the knife from her daughter’s chest and quickly thrusts it deep into Amulius’ heart. Celeres sees it all from his hiding place. He watches his father fall/die. Seeing his chanceto escape, he vows one day to return and take his place on the throne. He then disappears. Romulus and Remus retake the city and place Numitor back on the throne again to the great joy and cheers of the people.

Denouement: Days, months pass, in is sadness, his sorrow, Numitor recognizes his grandsons and asks them to stay that they may one day take the throne and rule when he dies. But they do not. They want to build their own city. Ilia, in her sadness, sorrow, says she is returning to the land of the Sabines to raise Numa, their little brother. She tells them, it was foretold to her, that one day I would return and I have my sons sit on the throne of the greatest empire the world would ever know. They go their separate ways. The boys go to the Palentine and Aventine to search for omens to tell them what hill shall they are to build their new city upon and who will rule over it first. When they have their “signs” from the gods—but not without a lot of quarreling and bickering over who’s sign is THEE sign, they begin building their city of light on the Palatine Hill. But as they begin their construction, it is Remus who bickers. Romulus, he says, may be the older, but it is he who was sanctioned to rule over the new city by the gods. HIS signs were the true signs. More bickering and quarreling and fighting commence as Romulus ploughs the first burrow of the city’s wall. Celeres has come to fulfill his promise. As the twins fight and quarrel, he sees his chance and strikes down Remus dead only to run away again before he is caught. But, this time, Celeres doesn’t get very far when Romulus, in his strength and temper and power, with the help of the gods, catches up to Celeres and kills him in retaliation for killing Remus. Jupiter looks on in the heavens, satisfied his work is now complete. Romulus mourns bitterly for his brother as Ilia comes to mourn the loss of him, too, and her family when she is brought the news. What is left of it all now, but for Romulus to build Rome alone. Until Numa, who will follow his brother on the throne when he is grown. Comes of age. In the meantime, Ilia returns to the land of the Sabines to care for her young son. Who was prophesied to reign at the side of Romulus in his new found city Rome, the second king after Romulus, who would be the first. They were born in the shedding of blood and in the midst of a vestal fire’s glow. To, one day, build Rome. the eternal city of the gods.

[Frances Emerson]

Fran’s Outline IMprovements

What I’ve learned; This still needs improving. But it keeps getting better and better. It’s starting to give me chills.

Ilia’s Journey. PART ONE

Beginning: She is the daughter of King Numitor. She is happy and content just to be a princess in the kingdom of Alba Longa.

Inciting Incident: But war looms in the kingdom. Uncle Amulius usurps the throne of King Numitor, killing Ilia’s brothers and sentencing her to a life as a Vestal Virgin. If she breaks her vows to remain untouched, she will die.

Refusal of the Call/Turning Point 1: She will not remain. She plans her escape, but it fails. She is beaten severely and brought back to the Vestal convent where her cousin Antho and her father’s old manservant care for her wounds and nurses her back to health.

Quest into the New World: But Ilia refuses to stay and she will try to escape yet again when she is recovered and can find a way to do it. This time with the help of the gods she escapes. She finds her way to Mars’ temple near the Aventine Hill where she has learned her father resides. She tries to flee there, but stops to rest where she encounters the war god Mars. They fall madly in love with the help of Jupiter, Fortuna and Cupid. They make love and Ilia will conceive her first born twin, Romulus, through Mars.

Midpoint: Amulius after he discovers he’s been betrayed by Tezza and rapes her, he learns Ilia has escaped. He goes to bring her back and to punish her for her fleeing the Vestal convent, to ensure she doesn’t do it again, he rapes her. Antho and the old manservant have followed Amulius and learn what he has done. They take Ilia back to the convent to nurse her back to health. It’s a long haul, but nine months later she is well again, and she gives birth to twin sons, the first belonging to Mars, the second belonging to Amulius.

Turning Point 2: Days later, recovered and well again. Ilia plans yet another escape. This time with Antho’s and the old manservant’s help. Antho is also going to leave the convent for good, she says. She will not stay there any longer. She hates her father. She knows what he’s done. She even believes the boys are her little brothers. They plan their escape.

They make it to the Malatiosa Forest and the crossroads between the Palatine and Aventine Hills and the Land of the Sabines. There they part ways. Antho to the Palatine where she believes her father won’t look for her and Ilia to the Aventine to search out her father. But, though Antho has success in escaping her fate, Ilia does not. She is caught yet again and taken back in chains to be sentenced,

Dilemma: Amulius is finished with her and he must now get rid of his sons he believes he fathered with her. He sentences her to drowning in the Tiber River. She is to be thrown off a high cliff. And her sons are to be taken to the river as well and drowned. For his part in helping Ilia escape, the old manservant is sentenced to drown the twins. But as he watches Ilia being tossed into the river off the cliff, her hands bound, he cannot drown the boys. Instead, he wraps them in Ilia’s cloak, places them in a cradle and gently sends them down river where Mars’ wolves find them, and care for them for a time.

Conflict: Ilia struggles to live. With the help of the gods, Tiberinus the river god, unbinds her ropes so she can swim freely, but she has little strength and she is failing to save herself. She cries out for help. An older man with his nephew, Gracchus and Titus, hear Ilia’s cries for help and go to her rescue. Gracchus recognizes her and tells Titus they must hide her from her uncle. They give her a new name RHEA SILVIA and spirit her away to Cures, their city in the Land of the Sabines.

END OF PART ONE

PART TWO

Eighteen years later …

Beginning: The boys are now grown, handsome young men. The twins, Romulus and Remus are shepherds in the house of Faustulus and Larentia. They are happy, healthy, contented to be shepherds for now. They are bold, fearless, regal, but with a temper, Remus is a bit hotheaded, Romulus a little more level-headed. They believe only what they’ve been told about their birth. That they were foundlings. They do not know who their mother or father was (though Faustulus has a pretty good idea). Romulus is a hunter, provider. Remus has a mischievous heart and can get himself into much trouble with his friend Celeres. Celeres is the number one instigator, however.

Celeres is rich, spoiled, cunning like his father, Amulius. But a coward. He will turn his back on his friends on a dime. He is selfish and makes demands even of his father. His father does give in to him, even though Amulius knows he is not the son and heir he thought he should have in Celeres.

Ilia, now known in the Land of the Sabines as Rhea Silvia, is Gracchus’ wife. She is the matriarch of the Sabines and stepmother to the heir apparent to his late father’s throne, Titus, now also a grown and a handsome young man. She is also the mother of a young, beautiful, of marrying age, girl, SABINA. betrothed to Titus. Sabina will be queen of the Sabines one day. And Ilia also has a newborn, a son, NUMA, who will in the future become the second king of Rome after its founding. (But Ilia does not know that yet. Only the gods.)

Inciting Incident: There is war in the valley between the Palatine and Aventine Hills, the shepherds and cattlemen of the brothers fight. Numitor’s men have stolen cattle from Amulius’ men and sheep inretaliation for Amulius’ men’s many raids on their livestock–and Celeres’ help with the deeds. Now Amulius’ men fight to get their stolen cattle back. Celeres is the instigator yet again. Leading the fight with him is Remus. Remus is all too eager to help, thinking he is fighting for justice and fairness for his village.

Refusal of the Call: In the skirmish, Remus is captured and Celeres, the coward he is, escapes to live another day. Remus is taken to Numitor by the men of Numitor’s herdsmen and shepherds to be judged. But Numitor says he cannot judge. He cannot judge this boy or Celeres as the herdsmen wish because Amulius must be the one to judge. He is the king. The herdsmen tell Numitor Amulius is not their king. Numitor is their rightful. He always has been.

As a new treaty is being negotiated between Amulius and Gracchus, there is tension, distrust. Gracchus senses Amulius is not playing fair in the negotiations. (Amulius is the one who killed Titus’s father, Gracchus brother in an earlier war.) He is right. Amulius is plotting another war with the Sabines. He finds he wants their fertile lands–to expand his empire. And Celeres, who’s in love with Gracchus’s daughter, Sabina, adds his two cents into the negotiations. He tells his father, Gracchus he wants Sabina for his wife. Gacchus politely refuses, noting she is already betrothed to Titus. He thinks he is done with that–But he is NOT. He tells Titus as they return home to Cures, he sadly has learned what Amulius really wants with these new treaty negotiations. Not their land or goods–but Sabina!

Quest into the New World: Celeres, when Gracchus is gone, demands of his father, he wants Sabine for himself and he intends to get her one day or the other. Amulius is okay with that because he wants the Sabine land. He tells his son to be patient. He will kill two birds with one stone–in time. The right time. Amulius plans a war. They will both get what they want–in due time, if they are patient.

In the meantime, Faustulus has been badly hurt in the fracas and fears he is dying. He needs to tell Romulus and Remus the truth of their life, their existence now before it’s too late. But Remus has been taken hostage, unbeknownst to the villagers for the moment. Romulus is quickly summoned. Alone, he must hear the true story of their mother and what happened to her and them and is sworn to tell Remus the story if Faustulus does indeed die. Romulus has no problem with that. He hates Amulius and he swears vengeance upon the pretender king for his mother and the rightful king, his grandfather.

Gracchus has returned home to inform Ilia what her uncle intends for their daughter. She is horrified. She does NOT want to deal with her uncle ever again under ANY circumstances. But it looks like she has to. If there’s any chance to restore her father to the throne of Alba Longa, she will take it.

Turning Point 1: Romulus must now go find Remus, tell him the story of their true birth and heritage. He is sworn to it.

While Ilia and Gracchus get set for war with Amulius. And while Numitor deals with Remus. Numitor has a deja vu experience. The boy’s face is the spitting image of his daughter, Ilia. The resemblance is uncanny. He suddenly has the feeling this boy just might, indeed, be one of the grandson’s he thought he lost in the Tiber River long ago. He asks the boy questions. All Remus knows is that he was orphaned. he is a foundling and he and his brother were raised by Faustulus and Larentia. Numitor has pangs in his heart again–a brother? Remus says, yes, his twin brother.

Numitor’s suspicions are confirmed. But the men want a judgment. Numitor says he must be taken to Amulius. But he fears, Amulius could see it, too. The resemblance. Should he take that chance?

Antho enters. She sees Remus as he passes and sees the resemblance. Antho, goes to Numitor and asks, did he see it. Numitor says yes. He is certain of it. He is my grandson, Ilia’s son.

Midpoint: Remus is taken to Amulius, who, in his judgment, also sees the resemblance. It makes him think, is this my son with Ilia? He also questions the boys and finds that he likes him very much. A brave lad, strong, like the son he has alwasy wanted–and now has. He has always liked him–as his son’s companion, too. He wishes to get closer to Remus. Befriend him to the anger of Numitor’s men—and Celeres. Amulius releases him, pardons him. Tells him to join him at his court. The men are enraged even further. They vow to seek their own vengeance and plot to kidnap Remus again when the time is right–the LUPERCALIA CELEBRATION.

As soon as Remus leaves, Amulius tells his son Celeres what a sniveling, weak little coward he is. He’s not worthy to ascend the throne. Remus should have been his son. He orders his servants attending to take Celeres and plant him in his mother’s grave to rot there with her.

Celeres escapes before they can catch him and follow out their orders.

Amulius invades Sabine country, giving Gracchus an ultimatum. Sabina for his son, or desolation. Gracchus will not none of it! Except war. They fight. Gracchus is mortally wounded. As Titus tries to spirit Sabina away to safety, she sees her father murdered before their eyes by Amulius, stabbed with his knife. She runs to him before he dies. Amulius finally gets to see her and begins thinking to himself, such a prize should only be reserved for a king. A new plan. Amulius is going to take Sabina for himself to sire a new heir to his throne. Now Ilia must deal with her uncle AGAIN as Gracchus dies in Ilia’s arms. She swears vengeance on his dying breath and tells Sabina to run to her grandfather’s for safety. Amulius gives Ilia 24 hours to decide. Amulius also has a deja vu experience here. He feels he knows this Sabine woman. But Ilia has veiled her face from him and the years have hidden the rest from Amulius. Amulius takes his leave, but Ilia will not have it. She tells Titus and Emmrys, Gracchus’ once trusted right hand, she is going to war on Amulius. She is going to kill him herself before he does anything to hurt Sabina. She will not let that happen–upon her own death.

As Sabina runs to the Aventine Hill to be with Numitor, she and Remus meet as he is on his way home to the Palatine Hill. They are immediately smitten with each other–as Celeres in his flight sees their meeting and becomes jealous and vengeful of the two.

Turning Point 2 The Lupercalia celebration. Romulus and Remus are together tending to the flocks as the men celebrate the festival. It is a good time, Romulus says for him to tell Remus the story and does. But then they hear the bleating of one of the king’s prize lambs. Remus says he’s going to go take care of it. He’s reeling from the story as he seeks out the truth of it in his heart and the lamb. Numitor’s men have tied the animal up as a lure. And as Remus goes to rescue him, they pounce on the boy, tie him up in ropes and chains and haul him away.

Dilemma: Sabina returns home to tell her mother. She no longer wants to marry Titus. She has found another, a more wonderful, shepherd boy she wants to marry. He lives among Amulius’ men, frightening Ilia to the core. She will have none of it and tells Sabina she should not have returned. But it’s too late. Ilia has one of her handmaiden’s take Numa and leave with him to safety. As Amulius returns even more determined to get his way, he demands Ilia’s answer. She says no. He then tells her she really has little choice in the matter. An army is backing him. There are only two choices now left to her. You will hand over Sabina to me, or the remainder of your Sabine family will be killed. Along with you–giving her the feeling Amulius knows who she is. They fight. Sabina is taken hostage. As he leaves, Amulius tells Ilia he knows who she is and she will never see her daughter ever again.

Ilia vows revenge–to kill her uncle–to Titus and Emmrys, if that’s the last thing she ever does. There is no turning back now. They plan a war on Alba Longa.

Conflict: Celeres is back at the palace waiting for his father to return from the war when Numitor’s men bring Remus in as their hostage. In retaliation for his taking Sabina from him, he sentences Remus to death and tells the men to throw him in a cage below. They happily obey.

Climax: Romulus has been told Remus was taken to Numitor’s on the Aventine Hill. Faustulus, since recovered, urges Romulus to go there to fetch his brother. Numitor is a good man–and he is his grandfather. But Remus is not there. Numitor finally gets to see his other grandson, but he does not look like Ilia or Amulius. No one he knows in fact. Nevertheless, they must go save Remus. He was taken hostage again by the cattlemen. Numitor says he will be at the palace. Surely this time Amulius will kill him, if he knows who he is. He must also be told the truth of his true heritage. He looks somuch like your mother. Romulus tells his grandfather, he will take back Alba Longa for him and restore him to the throne–and his family.

Resolution: Romulus takes his rabble of cattlemen and Numitor’s to set Remus free and take back Alba Longa as Ilia and her Sabines along with Titus and Emmrys. NUMITOR GOES WITH ROMULUS.

As Amulius enters the city with the hostage, Sabina. He takes her to the cellars of the palace and puts her in the cage with Remus. They immediately cling to each other. Amulius sees it and retaliates. He gives her an ultimatum, You were betrothed to Titus. Celeres wanted you. And it’s apparent you want this one. But you have only this choice instead. You shall be my next queen–or the remainder of your family will be killed–along with you. You have two hours to decide! Amulius leaves.

Celeres has heard all, vowing to kill his father. He goes to the cage to taunt the two lovebirds also catching them in an embrace. He tells Remus he knows how his father favored Remus over him. No more, when he is king, Remus will die. And then he tells Sabina, you could have been queen. He vows to kill them both for their betrayal. Celeres calls Sabina a worthless whore and disappears vowing to return to carry out his promise.

MAJOR TWIST (ROADBLOCK): Romulus and his rabble have breached the city. Numitor thinks he knows where Remus might be. Ilia, too, approaches the city with her army, Titus, and Emmrys. Ilia thinks she knows where Amulius might be—and where he might be keeping Sabina. She believes the worst. They must find her before what happened to Tezza and her happens to Sabina. In her search for Sabina, Amulius has come to Ilia, confronts her, her army. Where is my daughter, she asks? She will not back down. He will die, she vows, if she is not returned immediately, safe and WHOLE. Amulius feigns defeat and tells Ilia he will take her to Sabina. He silently bids his men to follow. There, Ilia finds Sabina in the cage with Remus. Ilia feels/knows in her heart, somehow she has also found one of her twin sons. It shakes her greatly. Numitor enters with Romulus to find his daughter already confronting Amulius. It appears Amulius is surrounded. But he has one last maneuver up his sleeve. In desperation, he tells Ilia he knows who the boys are. They are his. But Ilia has some news for Amulius. She tells him what he does not know. She and Mars made love before he came to her and raped her. They are his, not Amulius’s. But Mars’ sons. Romulus and Remus hear all. Numitor whispers to Romulus Sabina is your sister. Amulius, in his zeal to escape strikes Ilia down, ripping Sabina from the cage. He forces her out as his hostage so that he might escape. Romulus and Remus move to free her. Amulius cries out if I cannot have her no one can! Quickly, he plunges his dagger into Sabina’s chest killing her. Dead before her eyes, in shock, Ilia takes the knife from her daughter’s chest and quickly thrusts it deep into Amulius’ heart. Celeres sees it all from his hiding place. He sees his father fall/die. Seeing his chance, he vows one day to return and take his place on the throne. He then disappears. Romulus and Remus retake the city and place Numitor back on the throne again to the great joy and cheers of the people.

Denouement: Days, months pass, in is sadness, his sorrow, Numitor recognizes his grandsons and asks them to stay that they may one day take the throne and rule when he dies. But they do not. They want to build their own city. Ilia, in her sadness, sorrow, say she is returning to the land of the Sabines to raise Numa, their little brother. She tells them, it was foretold to her, that one day I shall return and I shall have my sons sit on the throne of the greatest empire the world will ever know. They go on their separate ways. They go to the Palentine and Aventine to search for an omen to tell them what hill shall they build their new city upon and who will rule over it first. When they have their “signs” from the gods—but not without a lot of quarreling and bickering over who’s sign was THEE sign, they begin building their city of light on the Palatine Hill. But as they begin their construction, it is Remus who says in the building Romulus may be the older, but it is he who was sanctioned to rule it by the gods. HIS signs were the true signs. As they bicker and quarrel and fight some more over the city’s fresh wall, Celeres comes to fulfill his promise. He sees his chance and strikes down Remus dead only to run away again before he is caught. Celeres doesn’t get very far when Romulus, in his strength and temper and power, with the help of the gods, kills Celeres in retaliation for killing Remus. Jupiter looks on in the heavens, satisfied. Romulus mourns bitterly for his brother as Ilia comes to mourn the loss of him, too, and her family when she is given the news. What is left of it all now, but for Romulus to build Rome alone. And Numa, who will follow his brother on the throne when he is grown. Ilia returns to the land of the Sabines to care for her young son. Numa. Who is prophesied to reign at the side of Romulus in his new found city Rome. They were born in the shedding of blood and in the midst of a vestal fire’s glow. To, one day, build the eternal city, Rome.

[Frances Emerson]

Fran’s Outline Improvements

This still has a ways to go on the second part, but it’s still getting better and beter. It is beginning to give me chills.

Ilia’s Journey. PART ONE

Beginning: She is the daughter of King Numitor. She is happy and content just to be a princess in the kingdom of Alba Longa.

Inciting Incident: But war looms in the kingdom. Uncle Amulius usurps the throne of King Numitor, killing Ilia’s brothers and sentencing her to a life as a Vestal Virgin. If she breaks her vows to remain untouched, she will die.

Refusal of the Call/Turning Point 1: She will not remain. She plans her escape, but it fails. She is beaten severely and brought back to the Vestal convent where her cousin Antho and her father’s old manservant care for her wounds and nurses her back to health.

Quest into the New World: But Ilia refuses to stay and she will try to escape yet again when she is recovered and can find a way to do it. This time with the help of the gods she escapes. She finds her way to Mars’ temple near the Aventine Hill where she has learned her father resides. She tries to flee there, but stops to rest where she encounters the war god Mars. They fall madly in love with the help of Jupiter, Fortuna and Cupid. They make love and Ilia will conceive her first born twin, Romulus, through Mars.

Midpoint: Amulius after he discovers he’s been betrayed by Tezza and rapes her, he learns Ilia has escaped. He goes to bring her back and to punish her for her fleeing the Vestal convent, to ensure she doesn’t do it again, he rapes her. Antho and the old manservant have followed Amulius and learn what he has done. They take Ilia back to the convent to nurse her back to health. It’s a long haul, but nine months later she is well again, and she gives birth to twin sons, the first belonging to Mars, the second belonging to Amulius.

Turning Point 2: Days later, recovered and well again. Ilia plans yet another escape. This time with Antho’s and the old manservant’s help. Antho is also going to leave the convent for good, she says. She will not stay there any longer. She hates her father. She knows what he’s done. She even believes the boys are her little brothers. They plan their escape.

They make it to the Malatiosa Forest and the crossroads between the Palatine and Aventine Hills and the Land of the Sabines. There they part ways. Antho to the Palatine where she believes her father won’t look for her and Ilia to the Aventine to search out her father. But, though Antho has success in escaping her fate, Ilia does not. She is caught yet again and taken back in chains to be sentenced,

Dilemma: Amulius is finished with her and he must now get rid of his sons he believes he fathered with her. He sentences her to drowning in the Tiber River. She is to be thrown off a high cliff. And her sons are to be taken to the river as well and drowned. For his part in helping Ilia escape, the old manservant is sentenced to drown the twins. But as he watches Ilia being tossed into the river off the cliff, her hands bound, he cannot drown the boys. Instead, he wraps them in Ilia’s cloak, places them in a cradle and gently sends them down river where Mars’ wolves find them, and care for them for a time.

Conflict: Ilia struggles to live. With the help of the gods, Tiberinus the river god, unbinds her ropes so she can swim freely, but she has little strength and she is failing to save herself. She cries out for help. An older man with his nephew, Gracchus and Titus, hear Ilia’s cries for help and go to her rescue. Gracchus recognizes her and tells Titus they must hide her from her uncle. They give her a new name RHEA SILVIA and spirit her away to Cures, their city in the Land of the Sabines.

END OF PART ONE

PART TWO

Eighteen years later …

Beginning: The boys are now grown, handsome young men. The twins, Romulus and Remus are shepherds in the house of Faustulus and Larentia. They are happy, healthy, contented to be shepherds for now. They are bold, fearless, regal, but with a temper, Remus is a bit hotheaded, Romulus a little more level-headed. They believe only what they’ve been told about their birth. That they were foundlings. They do not know who their mother or father was (though Faustulus has a pretty good idea). Romulus is a hunter, provider. Remus has a mischievous heart and can get himself into much trouble with his friend Celeres. Celeres is the number one instigator, however.

Celeres is rich, spoiled, cunning like his father, Amulius. But a coward. He will turn his back on his friends on a dime. He is selfish and makes demands even of his father. His father does give in to him, even though Amulius knows he is not the son and heir he thought he should have in Celeres.

Ilia, now known in the Land of the Sabines as Rhea Silvia, is Gracchus’ wife. She is the matriarch of the Sabines and stepmother to the heir apparent to his late father’s throne, Titus, now also a grown and a handsome young man. She is also the mother of a young, beautiful, of marrying age, girl, SABINA. betrothed to Titus. Sabina will be queen of the Sabines one day. And Ilia also has a newborn, a son, NUMA, who will in the future become the second king of Rome after its founding. (But Ilia does not know that yet. Only the gods.)

Inciting Incident: There is war in the valley between the Palatine and Aventine Hills, the shepherds and cattlemen of the brothers fight. Numitor’s men have stolen cattle from Amulius’ men and sheep inretaliation for Amulius’ men’s many raids on their livestock–and Celeres’ help with the deeds. Now Amulius’ men fight to get their stolen cattle back. Celeres is the instigator yet again. Leading the fight with him is Remus. Remus is all too eager to help, thinking he is fighting for justice and fairness for his village.

Refusal of the Call: In the skirmish, Remus is captured and Celeres, the coward he is, escapes to live another day. Remus is taken to Numitor by the men of Numitor’s herdsmen and shepherds to be judged. But Numitor says he cannot judge. He cannot judge this boy or Celeres as the herdsmen wish because Amulius must be the one to judge. He is the king. The herdsmen tell Numitor Amulius is not their king. Numitor is their rightful. He always has been.

As a new treaty is being negotiated between Amulius and Gracchus, there is tension, distrust. Gracchus senses Amulius is not playing fair in the negotiations. (Amulius is the one who killed Titus’s father, Gracchus brother in an earlier war.) He is right. Amulius is plotting another war with the Sabines. He finds he wants their fertile lands–to expand his empire. And Celeres, who’s in love with Gracchus’s daughter, Sabina, adds his two cents into the negotiations. He tells his father, Gracchus he wants Sabina for his wife. Gacchus politely refuses, noting she is already betrothed to Titus. He thinks he is done with that–But he is NOT. He tells Titus as they return home to Cures, he sadly has learned what Amulius really wants with these new treaty negotiations. Not their land or goods–but Sabina!

Quest into the New World: Celeres, when Gracchus is gone, demands of his father, he wants Sabine for himself and he intends to get her one day or the other. Amulius is okay with that because he wants the Sabine land. He tells his son to be patient. He will kill two birds with one stone–in time. The right time. Amulius plans a war. They will both get what they want–in due time, if they are patient.

In the meantime, Faustulus has been badly hurt in the fracas and fears he is dying. He needs to tell Romulus and Remus the truth of their life, their existence now before it’s too late. But Remus has been taken hostage, unbeknownst to the villagers for the moment. Romulus is quickly summoned. Alone, he must hear the true story of their mother and what happened to her and them and is sworn to tell Remus the story if Faustulus does indeed die. Romulus has no problem with that. He hates Amulius and he swears vengeance upon the pretender king for his mother and the rightful king, his grandfather.

Gracchus has returned home to inform Ilia what her uncle intends for their daughter. She is horrified. She does NOT want to deal with her uncle ever again under ANY circumstances. But it looks like she has to. If there’s any chance to restore her father to the throne of Alba Longa, she will take it.

Turning Point 1: Romulus must now go find Remus, tell him the story of their true birth and heritage. He is sworn to it.

While Ilia and Gracchus get set for war with Amulius. And while Numitor deals with Remus. Numitor has a deja vu experience. The boy’s face is the spitting image of his daughter, Ilia. The resemblance is uncanny. He suddenly has the feeling this boy just might, indeed, be one of the grandson’s he thought he lost in the Tiber River long ago. He asks the boy questions. All Remus knows is that he was orphaned. he is a foundling and he and his brother were raised by Faustulus and Larentia. Numitor has pangs in his heart again–a brother? Remus says, yes, his twin brother.

Numitor’s suspicions are confirmed. But the men want a judgment. Numitor says he must be taken to Amulius. But he fears, Amulius could see it, too. The resemblance. Should he take that chance?

Antho enters. She sees Remus as he passes and sees the resemblance. Antho, goes to Numitor and asks, did he see it. Numitor says yes. He is certain of it. He is my grandson, Ilia’s son.

Midpoint: Remus is taken to Amulius, who, in his judgment, also sees the resemblance. It makes him think, is this my son with Ilia? He also questions the boys and finds that he likes him very much. A brave lad, strong, like the son he has alwasy wanted–and now has. He has always liked him–as his son’s companion, too. He wishes to get closer to Remus. Befriend him to the anger of Numitor’s men—and Celeres. Amulius releases him, pardons him. Tells him to join him at his court. The men are enraged even further. They vow to seek their own vengeance and plot to kidnap Remus again when the time is right–the LUPERCALIA CELEBRATION.

As soon as Remus leaves, Amulius tells his son Celeres what a sniveling, weak little coward he is. He’s not worthy to ascend the throne. Remus should have been his son. He orders his servants attending to take Celeres and plant him in his mother’s grave to rot there with her.

Celeres escapes before they can catch him and follow out their orders.

Amulius invades Sabine country, giving Gracchus an ultimatum. Sabina for his son, or desolation. Gracchus will not none of it! Except war. They fight. Gracchus is mortally wounded. As Titus tries to spirit Sabina away to safety, she sees her father murdered before their eyes by Amulius, stabbed with his knife. She runs to him before he dies. Amulius finally gets to see her and begins thinking to himself, such a prize should only be reserved for a king. A new plan. Amulius is going to take Sabina for himself to sire a new heir to his throne. Now Ilia must deal with her uncle AGAIN as Gracchus dies in Ilia’s arms. She swears vengeance on his dying breath and tells Sabina to run to her grandfather’s for safety. Amulius gives Ilia 24 hours to decide. Amulius also has a deja vu experience here. He feels he knows this Sabine woman. But Ilia has veiled her face from him and the years have hidden the rest from Amulius. Amulius takes his leave, but Ilia will not have it. She tells Titus and Emmrys, Gracchus’ once trusted right hand, she is going to war on Amulius. She is going to kill him herself before he does anything to hurt Sabina. She will not let that happen–upon her own death.

As Sabina runs to the Aventine Hill to be with Numitor, she and Remus meet as he is on his way home to the Palatine Hill. They are immediately smitten with each other–as Celeres in his flight sees their meeting and becomes jealous and vengeful of the two.

Turning Point 2 The Lupercalia celebration. Romulus and Remus are together tending to the flocks as the men celebrate the festival. It is a good time, Romulus says for him to tell Remus the story and does. But then they hear the bleating of one of the king’s prize lambs. Remus says he’s going to go take care of it. He’s reeling from the story as he seeks out the truth of it in his heart and the lamb. Numitor’s men have tied the animal up as a lure. And as Remus goes to rescue him, they pounce on the boy, tie him up in ropes and chains and haul him away.

Dilemma: Sabina returns home to tell her mother. She no longer wants to marry Titus. She has found another, a more wonderful, shepherd boy she wants to marry. He lives among Amulius’ men, frightening Ilia to the core. She will have none of it and tells Sabina she should not have returned. But it’s too late. Ilia has one of her handmaiden’s take Numa and leave with him to safety. As Amulius returns even more determined to get his way, he demands Ilia’s answer. She says no. He then tells her she really has little choice in the matter. An army is backing him. There are only two choices now left to her. You will hand over Sabina to me, or the remainder of your Sabine family will be killed. Along with you–giving her the feeling Amulius knows who she is. They fight. Sabina is taken hostage. As he leaves, Amulius tells Ilia he knows who she is and she will never see her daughter ever again.

Ilia vows revenge–to kill her uncle–to Titus and Emmrys, if that’s the last thing she ever does. There is no turning back now. They plan a war on Alba Longa.

Conflict: Celeres is back at the palace waiting for his father to return from the war when Numitor’s men bring Remus in as their hostage. In retaliation for his taking Sabina from him, he sentences Remus to death and tells the men to throw him in a cage below. They happily obey.

Climax: Romulus has been told Remus was taken to Numitor’s on the Aventine Hill. Faustulus, since recovered, urges Romulus to go there to fetch his brother. Numitor is a good man–and he is his grandfather. But Remus is not there. Numitor finally gets to see his other grandson, but he does not look like Ilia or Amulius. No one he knows in fact. Nevertheless, they must go save Remus. He was taken hostage again by the cattlemen. Numitor says he will be at the palace. Surely this time Amulius will kill him, if he knows who he is. He must also be told the truth of his true heritage. He looks somuch like your mother. Romulus tells his grandfather, he will take back Alba Longa for him and restore him to the throne–and his family.

Resolution: Romulus takes his rabble of cattlemen and Numitor’s to set Remus free and take back Alba Longa as Ilia and her Sabines along with Titus and Emmrys. NUMITOR GOES WITH ROMULUS.

As Amulius enters the city with the hostage, Sabina. He takes her to the cellars of the palace and puts her in the cage with Remus. They immediately cling to each other. Amulius sees it and retaliates. He gives her an ultimatum, You were betrothed to Titus. Celeres wanted you. And it’s apparent you want this one. But you have only this choice instead. You shall be my next queen–or the remainder of your family will be killed–along with you. You have two hours to decide! Amulius leaves.

Celeres has heard all, vowing to kill his father. He goes to the cage to taunt the two lovebirds also catching them in an embrace. He tells Remus he knows how his father favored Remus over him. No more, when he is king, Remus will die. And then he tells Sabina, you could have been queen. He vows to kill them both for their betrayal. Celeres calls Sabina a worthless whore and disappears vowing to return to carry out his promise.

MAJOR TWIST (ROADBLOCK): Romulus and his rabble have breached the city. Numitor thinks he knows where Remus might be. Ilia, too, approaches the city with her army, Titus, and Emmrys. Ilia thinks she knows where Amulius might be—and where he might be keeping Sabina. She believes the worst. They must find her before what happened to Tezza and her happens to Sabina. In her search for Sabina, Amulius has come to Ilia, confronts her, her army. Where is my daughter, she asks? She will not back down. He will die, she vows, if she is not returned immediately, safe and WHOLE. Amulius feigns defeat and tells Ilia he will take her to Sabina. He silently bids his men to follow. There, Ilia finds Sabina in the cage with Remus. Ilia feels/knows in her heart, somehow she has also found one of her twin sons. It shakes her greatly. Numitor enters with Romulus to find his daughter already confronting Amulius. It appears Amulius is surrounded. But he has one last maneuver up his sleeve. In desperation, he tells Ilia he knows who the boys are. They are his. But Ilia has some news for Amulius. She tells him what he does not know. She and Mars made love before he came to her and raped her. They are his, not Amulius’s. But Mars’ sons. Romulus and Remus hear all. Numitor whispers to Romulus Sabina is your sister. Amulius, in his zeal to escape strikes Ilia down, ripping Sabina from the cage. He forces her out as his hostage so that he might escape. Romulus and Remus move to free her. Amulius cries out if I cannot have her no one can! Quickly, he plunges his dagger into Sabina’s chest killing her. Dead before her eyes, in shock, Ilia takes the knife from her daughter’s chest and quickly thrusts it deep into Amulius’ heart. Celeres sees it all from his hiding place. He sees his father fall/die. Seeing his chance, he vows one day to return and take his place on the throne. He then disappears. Romulus and Remus retake the city and place Numitor back on the throne again to the great joy and cheers of the people.

Denouement: Days, months pass, in is sadness, his sorrow, Numitor recognizes his grandsons and asks them to stay that they may one day take the throne and rule when he dies. But they do not. They want to build their own city. Ilia, in her sadness, sorrow, say she is returning to the land of the Sabines to raise Numa, their little brother. She tells them, it was foretold to her, that one day I shall return and I shall have my sons sit on the throne of the greatest empire the world will ever know. They go on their separate ways. They go to the Palentine and Aventine to search for an omen to tell them what hill shall they build their new city upon and who will rule over it first. When they have their “signs” from the gods—but not without a lot of quarreling and bickering over who’s sign was THEE sign, they begin building their city of light on the Palatine Hill. But as they begin their construction, it is Remus who says in the building Romulus may be the older, but it is he who was sanctioned to rule it by the gods. HIS signs were the true signs. As they bicker and quarrel and fight some more over the city’s fresh wall, Celeres comes to fulfill his promise. He sees his chance and strikes down Remus dead only to run away again before he is caught. Celeres doesn’t get very far when Romulus, in his strength and temper and power, with the help of the gods, kills Celeres in retaliation for killing Remus. Jupiter looks on in the heavens, satisfied. Romulus mourns bitterly for his brother as Ilia comes to mourn the loss of him, too, and her family when she is given the news. What is left of it all now, but for Romulus to build Rome alone. And Numa, who will follow his brother on the throne when he is grown. Ilia returns to the land of the Sabines to care for her young son. Numa. Who is prophesied to reign at the side of Romulus in his new found city Rome. They were born in the shedding of blood and in the midst of a vestal fire’s glow. To, one day, build the eternal city, Rome.

[Frances Emerson]

Assignment Five

Fran’s Lead Characters I am learning as I go to really fill out my story and my structure. I was never able to do that before. I know it needs more work, but it is really coming together–after all these years!

Amulius Antagonist

Beginning: He is the younger
brother of King Numitor. He wishes to usurp the throne and rule Alba Longa
for himself. He is an evil man with evil ambitions.
Turning Point: He manages to
kill Numitor’s heirs and send his daughter Ilia into the service of the
Vestal Virgins, but Ilia won’t have it. In the meantime, he must secure
the throne by getting an heir, but his new bride vows never to bear him an
heir.
Midpoint: In the midst of
this defiance, he punishes Tezza by raping her, thus making her pregnant
with an heir, but he will turn out to be less than what he had hoped. In Ilia’s stubborn defiance, he, too,
rapes, her. She bears twin sons, one is Amulius’s son. He suspects, but
now he must rid himself of both twins and Ilia in order to ensure his
empire will continue through his legit heir.
Turning Point 2: years have passed.
Amulius is now engaged in negotiations with the Sabines. Little
does he know that Gracchus, the Sabine he deals with, is the husband of
Ilia. He rescued her many years ago from drowning and she is still alive
with two new children, a daughter Sabina, who his son Celeres wants for
his future queen, and Numa, who the gods have slated to be the second king
of Jupiter’s new empire. Amulius,
in his greed, lust and avarice will demand Sabina be handed over to him
for his son, but in reality, he will want her for himself, rid himself of
an unworthy son and sire a new heir to the throne through Sabina.
Major Conflict: Ilia has
hidden away all these years from her uncle hoping to never have to deal
with him again. But now she must to save her daughter. She will have none of what her uncle
demands. She vows war and his
death. She is aided by her twin
sons who also have discovered their true identity and now the one,
Romulus, is forced to rescue his brother, Remus, from Amulius’s evil
hand. He takes an army with him,
takes his grandfather Numitor with him to Alba Longa to kill Amulius and
return Numitor to his rightful place on the throne.
Ending: Amulius, in his desperation to retain power, forces Ilia’s
hand. He knows all of them wanted Sabina, but he demands her for himself.
Of course, Ilia says over his dead body. So, Amulius takes her and says,
if he can’t have her no one can and kills her. In her ire and hatred for
her uncle and her horror she feels watching her child be killed, Ilia
takes the knife Amulius plunged into Sabina and kills Amulius with it,
thus ending his life and his reign.

· Ilia’s Journey Protagonist

· Beginning: She is the daughter of King Numitor. She is happy and content just to be a princess in the kingdom of Alba Longa.

· Inciting Incident: But war looms in the kingdom. Uncle Amulius usurps the throne of King Numitor, killing Ilia’s brothers and sentencing her to a life as a Vestal Virgin. If she breaks her vows to remain untouched, she will die.

· Refusal of the Call/Turning Point 1: She will not remain. She plans her escape, but it fails. She is beaten severely and brought back to the Vestal convent where her cousin Antho and her father’s old manservant care for her wounds and nurses her back to health.

· Quest into the New World: But Ilia refuses to stay and she will try to escape yet again when she is recovered and can find a way to do it. This time with the help of the gods she escapes. She finds her way to Mars’ temple near the Aventine Hill where she has learned her father resides. She tries to flee there, but stops to rest where she encounters the war god Mars. They fall madly in love with the help of Jupiter, Fortuna and Cupid. They make love and Ilia will conceive her first born twin, Romulus, through Mars.

· Midpoint: Amulius after he discovers he’s been betrayed by Tezza and rapes her, he learns Ilia has escaped. He goes to bring her back and to punish her for her fleeing the Vestal convent, to ensure she doesn’t do it again, he rapes her. Antho and the old manservant have followed Amulius and learn what he has done. They take Ilia back to the convent to nurse her back to health. It’s a long haul, but nine months later she is well again, and she gives birth to twin sons, the first belonging to Mars, the second belonging to Amulius.

· Turning Point 2: Days later, recovered and well again. Ilia plans yet another escape. This time with Antho’s and the old manservant’s help. Antho is also going to leave the convent for good, she says. She will not stay there any longer. She hates her father. She knows what he’s done. She even believes the boys are her little brothers. They plan their escape.

· They make it to the Malatiosa Forest and the crossroads between the Palatine and Aventine Hills and the Land of the Sabines. There they part ways. Antho to the Palatine where she believes her father won’t look for her and Ilia to the Aventine to search out her father. But, though Antho has success in escaping her fate, Ilia does not. She is caught yet again and taken back in chains to be sentenced,

· Dilemma: Amulius is finished with her and he must now get rid of his sons he believes he fathered with her. He sentences her to drowning in the Tiber River. She is to be thrown off a high cliff. And her sons are to be taken to the river as well and drowned. For his part in helping Ilia escape, the old manservant is sentenced to drown the twins. But as he watches Ilia being tossed into the river off the cliff, her hands bound, he cannot drown the boys. Instead, he wraps them in Ilia’s cloak, places them in a cradle and gently sends them down river where Mars’ wolves find them, and care for them for a time.

· Conflict: Ilia struggles to live. With the help of the gods, Tiberinus the river god, unbinds her ropes so she can swim freely, but she has little strength and she is failing to save herself. She cries out for help. An older man with his nephew, Gracchus and Titus, hear Ilia’s cries for help and go to her rescue. Gracchus recognizes her and tells Titus they must hide her from her uncle. They give her a new name RHEA SILVIA and spirit her away to Cures, their city in the Land of the Sabines.

Ilia returns years later as Gracchus’ wife and a mother of two more children, Sabina and Numa.

Amulius will lust after Sabine, Ilia must save her from the hands of her evil uncle. She can no longer hide away from her taks. She vows to go to war with him and kill him.

Their ultimate conflict is over Sabina in Alba Longa. Amulius, in his rage, kills her before Ilia. Ilia in her horror and rage and anger takes the knife Amulius used to stab Sabina with and kills him with that.

In the end, Numitor is returned to his throne. But later, as Ilia tries to heal from the wound of losing her daughter, now learns her son Remus has been murdered by Celeres, Amulius’ son, and Romulus has killed him

All that’s left of her family are Romulus, Titus and Numa. Stricken, sad, but she looks to the future knowing her sons will be the first and second kings of Rome, the eternal city as promised her.

[Frances Emerson]

PRO REWRITE ASSIGNMENT FOUR

FRAN’S CHARACTER PROFILES

WHAT I LEARNED: just keep focus on what you need for them to be for your story to be the best it can be. And because the story is partly from history, I also need to stay focused on those events that made these characters the way they were in their time.

Name: ILIA (Rhea Sylvia) protagonist

Role: princess of Alba Longa, daughter of King Numitor She will be the mother of Romulus and Remus and she will be the matriarch of the Sabines and the mother of the young woman the men fight over and the mother of the first and second kings of Rome

Core Traits: in the beginning she is innocent, trusting, a bit spoiled, feisty, stubborn, tenacious after her uncle hurts her she becomes strong, determined, resolved, vengeful with the ability to kill

Motivation:

Wants: she wants a peaceful life as a princess with her father and brothers at the beginning. She wants revenge on her uncle in the second part of the story

Needs: she needs to be whole again, but until she learns her twins sons are not dead, she can never be. And her uncle has paid for his crimes.

Flaw/Wound: Her uncle raped her, she can never be truly free of that.

Secret/Hidden Agenda: She hides her identity from her uncle after he tries to kill her, sentences her to death, but she lives.

Internal Dilemma: She fell in love with the god Mars, but after her rescue from drowning she finds comfort and love in the arms of a Sabine ruler, Gracchus. She will never forget her first love.

Perfect for Role b/c: It was her destiny, according to the myth, legend to become the mother of the founder of Rome.

Name: Amulius antagonist

Role: he is the brother of King Numitor, the usurper to his brother’s throne

Core Traits: he is pure evil, evil for evil’s sake, almost a sociopath, he is selfish, cruel, ambitious, avarious, he won’t stop until he gets what he wants, narcissistic, he wants what he wants, not for his family or his son but for himself

Motivation:

Wants: he wants to be king/emperor of Alba Longa and he goes to war to get it.

Needs: he needs to pay for his many crimes against his family

Flaw/Wound: he blames the gods for allowing him to be born second. He blames himself for not usurping power earlier.

Secret/Hidden Agenda: His secret he thinks is that he raped his niece to keep her from running away again and trying to become a wife and mother to an heir, a contender to his throne. But his daughter Antho knows the secret and carries that with her always.

Internal Dilemma: He loves his son Celeres as fiercely as he hates. That is is downfall. And yet, he tries to take away from his son because he is a major disappointment to him.

Perfect for Role b/c: Amulius in the story of Romulus and Remus was evil, a usurper to the throne of Alba Longa. He did evil against his family.

Name: Romulus, the son of Mars

Role: He is the first born of the twins. He is the son of Mars and Ilia. He is destined to found Rome without his brother Remus at his side. He will help his mother avenge the death of her brothers and help put his grandfather back on the throne of Alba Longa.

Core Traits: strong, steadfast. Level-headed, strong of heart, resolved. A leader. He has a temper. He seeks justice with his temper, steady, deliberate in thought and deed.

Motivation:

Wants: He wants to live the peaceful life of a shepherd at the beginning. He is a leader and he is assuming he will be the leader of his people one day.

Needs: He needs to know the truth about his birth, who he is and where he came from.

Flaw/Wound: He is a god, perhaps too good for his own good

Secret/Hidden Agenda: None until he learns the truth of his life, and then he wants to avenge his family and what was done to them

Internal Dilemma: He is a god, but he doesn’t know that yet. He believes his father is Amulius.

Perfect for Role b/c: He is the son of the god Mars. He is destined to be the founder of Rome. He is a born leader.

Name: Remus son of Amulius

Role: Twin brother of Romulus, son of Ilia and Amulius

Core Traits: impulsive, brash, mischievous, mischief maker, has a temper. Can be impulsive, passionate. Also a justice seeker

Motivation:

Wants: He finds himself falling in love with a Sabine woman, he wants her

Needs: He also needs to learn the truth about his birth and life, where he came from, who he is

Flaw/Wound: He has his father’s genes in him. He can’t help but be a bit like Amulius in some ways.

Secret/Hidden Agenda: None.

Internal Dilemma: He thinks he’s the son of Faustulus until he learns the truth.

Perfect for Role b/c: He is the twin of Romulus. He tries to be the leader, the king of Rome, but he is not destined to found it. He will be killed in the heat of passion

Name: Gracchus The Sabine king, saver and husband of Ilia (Rhea Sylvia)

Role: He rules the land of the Sabines in wait for the son of his dead brother who will be king when he is grown. He will save Ilia from drowning and he will become her husband and father to her next two children.

Core Traits: a good man, strong, protector, mentor, wise, does not trust Amulius, cunning.

Motivation:

Wants: Wants for his people to flourish and keep the Albans (Amulius) at bay.

Needs: He needs his wife. He knows she is not fully there for him, as much as he would like, but he nevertheless allows it. But he wished it could be more.

Flaw/Wound: He did not have children before then, that his brother is dead.

Secret/Hidden Agenda: He helps Ilia keep her secret from Amulius

Internal Dilemma: He loves but he knows he is not as loved.

Perfect for Role b/c: Ilia needed a savior and she needed to be hidden from Amulius for a time. And also to have a new love. Gracchus is a Sabine and he can hide her well. And he can love her without and strings attached.

Name: Celeres son of Amulius, heir to his throne

Role: He is Amulius’ heir and he will be the one to kill Remus out of jealousy and hate

Core Traits: he’s a brat, spoiled, he gets what he wants, and if not he demands if until it is done. He’s head strong, impulsive. Gets his friends in a heap of trouble, He doesn’t care, he thinks he’s entitled.

Motivation:

Wants: wants Sabina and he’ll do anything to get her

Needs: He needs a good spanking.

Flaw/Wound: He’s his father’s son, almost as evil

Secret/Hidden Agenda: He wants what he wants. He has his own agenda. Sabina first, then the throne, even if he has to take it from his father before his time.

Internal Dilemma: He has not soul.

Perfect for Role b/c: Because he needs to be evil enough to kill his best friend, Remus.

Name: Sabina. The daughter of Ilia and Gracchus

Role: She is the love interest of the next generation

Core Traits: She wants to be a free spirit, loved by everyone, kind, innocent, but she’s as stubborn as a mule sometimes.

Motivation:

Wants: she wants to love, to be a free spirit. She Doesn’t want to be a princess

Needs: Her need is to wake up to the danger that lie all aound her now that she is grown and desired by the young men around here, too desired.

Flaw/Wound: in many ways perfect

Secret/Hidden Agenda: none really

Internal Dilemma: she wants a perfect love and yet to be betrothed to a future king, she doesn’t want that either.

[Frances Emerson]

PRO REWRITE ASSIGNMENT THREE

FRAN’S GENRE CONVENTIONS

WHAT I LEARNED: Just follow what the conventions are in your story. You will hit the mark.

Title: BORN OF BLOOD AND FIRE

Genre: HISTORICAL FICTION/FANTASY

Concept: THE STORY OF ROMULUS AND REMUS AS TOLD THROUGH THE EYES OF THEIR MOTHER ILIA

Logline: A destiny forged by the gods, her world torn apart by an uncle’s greed and his lust for his brother’s throne, an innocent, young princess—embarks on a journey that will end in the birth of two sons, one a god, one a mortal, and the creation of the greatest empire the world has ever known–Rome.

Main Conflict: Amulius gains power and his brother’s throne through war and the killing of Numitor’s heirs and Numitor’s castration and exile. The young daughter. Ilia, will suffer a worse defeat via her uncle. She is condemned to the life of a Vestal Virgin in the service of the fires of Vesta. And to die if she violates her oath and bears children.

Genre Conventions for Historical Fiction

Characters live in an historical period, they can be real persons, or based on real persons or fictional, introduce the viewer to their past. Keep them in tune to the era.

Dialogue make it like the past would be, but make it easy enough for the modern viewer to understand.

Setting put the viewer into the setting immediately. Make it come to life for them.

The theme must be interpreted to the time period it’s presented in.

Plot has to make sense for the time period.

Conflict must be real for the chosen time and place.

World building must be of the time period and place you are presenting.

Make your research COUNT!

Science I’m adding this one because for my steamboat script I needed to make sure the science—that is the mechanics or working of the steamers were authentic, real. Also, I found a belief or a convention of what they do with health. That is, the drinking of the Mississippi waters was therapeutic. And the conventions to treat burns after the Civil War. I had to actually consult with one of the biology/anatomy-physiology

instructors to describe the burns and what to do in order to treat them. Also, I had to research the use of wine to treat (as an antiseptic) burns.

In my researching these conventions, it is noted EVERY SINGLE ON OF THESE MUST BE MET.

The Genre Conventions of Fantasy

Magical realism gods/goddesses

Sword/Sorcery

Fables/ Myths telling

Good vs. Evil

Tradition vs. Change

The Individual vs. Society

Man vs. Nature

Man vs. Himself

Coming of Age

Love

Revenge

Courage and perseverance

Magical forces

World building

Fantastical characters

Dangerous Quest

Mythical Creatures

Not all of these need to be met.

Act I

Opening: Is this an engaging opening scene that lures us into the story? Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode?

It’s Jupiter vs. Mars. They argue. Mars has started a war which is contrary to Jupiter’s plans to build a new empire. Mars is banished from Olympus. He goes to build a home near the Palatine Mountain. There is a temple there built in his honor. Jupiter vows he will build his new empire through the seed of Mars.

Second engaging scene Ilia is telling the story of Aeneas and the founding of their home Alba Longa to her little brother Aegestes to help him fall asleep while they wait for the war to begin.

Inciting Incident: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey?

War is waging between the brothers Amulius and Numitor. Amulius is out to usurp power and take over. He exiles his brother, kills the heirs and he forces young Ilia into service as a Vestal Virgin.

Turning Point: How is this Turning Point a twist that locks us into the journey with “no going back?”

Ilia will not accept her fate. The first thing she does is try to escape. But she fails. She is brought back, beaten and given a heavy guard to watch over her—that she doesn’t do it again.

Act 2

New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point?

Some time passes. When she thinks it is safe, she tries to escape again. This time she gets a little farther—to the Temple of Mars near the Aventine Hill where she has heard her father has been exiled.

Plan in action: How does the protagonist take action on that plan?

She hides in the temple where she believes she is safe. There she encounters Mars, who is immediately smitten by her. They fall in love. Make love. Mars then leaves again with his wolves, leaving Ilia alone.

Midpoint Turning Point: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey?

In the Meantime, Amulius has learned of her escape in the midst of learning his bride has plotted against him by taking a contraceptive that will allow her to not become pregnant. He breaks the next vile of the elixir she was supposed to drink, he kills her hand maiden who was complicit in the plot and he rapes Tezza.

He then takes his leave to go find Ilia. He thinks he knows where she has gone. To Numitor. There near the Aventine Hill, he finds her in the temple, confronts her and tells her she is never to escape again for next time she will be put to death. He then proceeds to rape her. Bloody her and leave her for dead.

But her cousin and caretaker at the convent, Antho, followed her father, Amulius, along with Ilia’s old man servant, to the temple where they find her, Antho knows what her father did. They take her back to the convent and care for her, save her life.

Act 3

React/Rethink: What is revealed to the protagonist from the Midpoint? How do they react or rethink things?

Nine months later, Ilia gives birth to twin sons: Romulus who is the son of Mars. Remus who is the son of Amulius.

Amulius has another son by Tezza, Celeres. Once his heir is secured, Amulius proceeds to kill Tezza by strangulation.

New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict?

Days later, Ilia is still hell bent on leaving, escaping. This time Antho says she is going with her, to help her escape her father.

They go with the help of the old man servant, taking the twins with them.

Turning Point: The lowest of the low. How has this Turning Point brought the character to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way? This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way.

When they reach the Malitiosa Forest near the Aventine Hill they part ways. Antho goes one way, Ilia goes another, hoping that her father is still there alive and well. Antho will go to the Palatine Hill. For a while. At least, maybe her father won’t find her there among his cattlemen and shepherds.

Act 4

Climax/Ultimate Expression Of The Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a “fight to the death,” either literally or symbolically?

Antho is successful, but Ilia is not. She is found, this time by Amulius’ elite army and she is brought back to Alba Longa in chains along with her twin sons.

There Amulius pronounces sentence upon her: she is to die by drowning in the Tiber River. Her hands are tied and she is taken away by guards, but not before hearing the sentencing of her sons, who Amulius suspects are his, to a watery death, too, in the Tiber. The old man servant for this helping her escape yet again, is forced to do the dirty work for Amulius. But the old man servant cannot harm the boys. Instead, he puts them in a cradle that is water tight, he wraps them in a precious cloak that belonged to their mother, and as he watches Ilia being thrown off the cliff by the soldiers, the man servant gently sends the boys on their way downstream where they will land in an olive grove. There Mars’ wolves find them and care for them.

Resolution: How does this resolution represent the transformation that has taken place and bring this story to a fitting conclusion? How does the change show up in your lead character’s behavior?

There months later, the shepherd Faustulus, and his son Lucius find the boys by accident one day, and take them home to the Aventine Hill where they will care for them as theirs.

THIS IS THE END OF PART ONE. PART TWO BEGINS THE STORY OF ROMULUS AND REMUS 18 YEARS LATER.

Again, I know this story needs a lot of fleshing out. There’s a lot to it. So, this will take some more time. It’s not perfect, but I think it’s good enough to post.

PART TWO

Much of this story is a compilation of research I did into an alternative story of Romulus and Remus from various sources on the Internet and ancient work like Livy and Ovid.

ACT I

Opening:

Romulus and Remus are now 18. Different as night and day. Romulus the staid has been on a hunting expedition. Remus the mischievous. Likes to get into trouble with his friend Celeres. Celeres tells Remus of his love for Sabina a Sabine princess. He wants her for his wife. But when he shows Remus the young beauty of his dreams, Remus can’t help himself. He falls in love with her, too.

Inciting Incident:

A cattle war is going on between the herds of Numitor and Amulius. Remus and Celeres have accelerated it in their joining in on the side of Amulius’ herdsmen. In the fracas, Faustulus is badly injured by Numitor’s men. Remus is captured by them. Celeres runs away—back to his father. Leaving his friend to chance.

Turning Point:

Remus is taken to Numitor, but he says he cannot judge him. He must allow his brother Amulius to judge. As they meet, Numitor gets the feeling he knows this boy. He is the spitting image of his mother, Ilia. Numitor reconizes that in him and he falters, thinking this is one of the twin sons born to his daughter, sons, grandsons he has never seen—until now.

Sabina, who has been taken to her grandfather’s cottage for safe keeping, sees Remus and falls madly in love with him, to Titus’ heartbreak.

Pinch Point: Gracchus, now married to Ilia (her name is now Rhea Sylvia) and is the father of Sabina and Numa, having married Ilia, is in the midst of treaty talks with Amulius. They strike a tentative deal.

Celeres returns home interrupting the talks. He knows Sabina is the daughter of Graccus and asks Gracchus for her hand in marriage. Gracchus declines telling them, she is betrothed to Titus. He and Amulius politely acquiesce.

BUT as Gracchus leaves with his treaty, Celeres will not take no for an answer and demands his father do something to get Sabina for his bride. Amulius tells him he has been considering war with the Sabines for some time–for a piece of land he’s been eyeing. And to wipe the Sabines from the face of the earth. This is a good time to settle this dilemma, this hope, once and for all.

ACT 2

New Plan:

Romulus goes home to bad news. Remus has been captured by some of Numitor’s men and Faustulus has been badly injured. He may be dying. Faustulus cannot hold the story in any longer. He must tell Romulus the story, how they became shepherds of Amulius’ flocks, now so he can tell Remus. Romulus and Remus are not really his sons. The boys are the sons of a princess, the daughter of Numitor, rescued by him and of their “older brother” Lucius. He tells them Amulius is a bad king and what he did to their mother, and what he did to them when they were born. Seething, Romulus wants revenge, but first he must go get his brother. Rescue him from Numitor. Faustulus tells him no. He is probably in the hands of Amulius by now.

Plan in Action:

But Remus has nothing to fear. Amulius finds him quite the young man, the son he never really had in Celeres. He, too, sees the resemblance of Remus and Ilia in the boy’s face and eyes. He does not punish him having suspicions that he is the son he sired with Ilia. He asks him to join him at court and be a part of his family. Remus must think it over. It is an honor. But he must discuss it with his brother. Amulius now knows he may have yet another son.

Midpoint Turning Point:

In the midst of the feud, the herdsmen of Numitor’s fields are not satisfied with Amulius’ letting the young man go unpunished. They decide to punish him themselves and plot to kidnap him, have him caught red handed, so to speak, with the theft of the king’s price lamb.

Pinch Point 2:

In the meantime, Amulius sets off to the land of the Sabines, the city of Cures, to demand Sabina be handed over to him for his son or face war. He gives Gracchus little time to comply.

While Gracchus prepares for war, Titus spirits Sabina off to her grandfather’s to hide her.

Times up. Gracchus is mortally wounded when he refuses to hand over his daughter. Ilia now must deal with her uncle all over again–alone. Hiding herself, her identity from him, Ilia tells Amulius, she is not there. She must bring her home. she needs time. But there’s more to it she does not reveal to Amulius. Ilia needs time to hatch a plan against her uncle. To end his reign of terror and return her father to his throne. Alba’s rightful king.

She declares war on her uncle.

ACT 3

Rethink everything:

Remus is captured/kidnapped and returned to Numitor. Angry, thinking the boy stole the lamb to get him and his men in trouble—He has no choice but to punish him. Death. He holds Remus in a cage to await his fate. Sabina finds him there, tries to rescue him. They speak vows of love. Remus has loved her, too, since he first saw her.

Learning of this, Romulus goes to plead for Remus’s life—as his grandson.

New plan:

Sabina tries to help Remus escaped, but she is caught in the midst of her freeing them. Celeres, finding her, tries to take her then and there, but she won’t go with him. She refuses. He sees how she and Remus look at each other. In his anger, he says if he can’t have her nobody can, and kills her. Romulus and Titus enter to free Remus, catching Celeres in the act. hHe flees before he can be captured. Titus is devastated. Romulus goes to his brother to set free him from his cage. Remus is also devastated. Holding Sabina in his arms he vows revenge on the house of Amulius.

Turning Point Huge failure/Major shift:

In the midst of a Sabine war, Ilia is captured and taken back to Alba Longa a prisoner to await her sentencing.

Amulius knows who she is, who the boys are. And now he must deal with it accordingly.

Act 4

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:

Resolution:

Romulus, Remus and Titus work together to free Alba Longa from Amulius. They proceed to find Amulius and end his reign.

Numitor enters the city also to find Amulius and Ilia again his prisoner. Where are my grandsons? Numitor asks. Romulus enters with Titus and an army of Sabines.

Armies clash. The Sabines make an end of Amulius’s army. Amulius flees the throne room to go get Sabina. But finds her dead. In his sorrow he blames Remus.

When Ilia and Romulus and Titus finally find Amulius with Sabina, dead in a devastated Remus’s bloodied arms., in her anger and rage, Ilia finds Amulius’ knife and plunges it deep into his, killing him.

DENOUEMENT

Numitor is set back on his throne at Alba Longa as King. He is reunited with his grandsons. Ilia is reunited with her sons. But no one is yet satisfied.

As Celeres watches Numitor returned to the throne, he vows his vengeance for the killing of his father.

With the help of the gods and Jupiter:

Though the grandfather wants to hand over the kingdom to the boys, Romulus says no. it is his. They are leaving to build their own.

They find their way to the Palatine and Aventine Hills where they wait for omens in the sky from the Gods. They are told by the birds in the sky, sent by the gods, where to build their city and who should build. Romulus believes it is him. But Remus believes it is him. They argue and squabble over the honor. Romulus vows that anyone who speak anything against the new city or tries to breach the wall they ‘ve started in anger, he will kill them—and that includes a brother.

Remus is not a happy camper with this proclamation. He breaches the wall to test his brother—to test who shall be king of the new city. In the midst of their arguing, their fighting, Celeres sees his chance to get his revenge.

He lunges at the brothers killing Remus.

In his sorrow and rage, for the killing of Remus, Romulus kills Celeres.

As Jupiter watches over all.

Romulus is destroyed, but Jupiter sees that the city will be built no matter. Born in blood and in fire. The fire of passion and envy, jealousy and greed. My city. My empire that shall last a thousand years and beyond. Rome.

THE END

[Frances Emerson]

FRAN’s 4 ACT STRUCTURE

WHAT I LEARNED: Along with the classes I’m taking here and Autocrit’s classes I’m taking, I am really learning how to outline a lot better and enjoying it. I’m getting my story down much better, faster, and the best thing about it, I entered a short story writing challenge and used the methods here to make my outline. It was so easy, faster, smoother. AND THE BEST THING ABOUT IT I DIDN’T PROCRASTINATE! It was so easy to write the story with this method. from concept to outline to actual story. YAY!!!

Title: BORN OF BLOOD AND FIRE

Genre: HISTORICAL FICTION/FANTASY

Concept: THE STORY OF ROMULUS AND REMUS AS TOLD THROUGH THE EYES OF THEIR MOTHER ILIA

Logline: A destiny forged by the gods, her world torn apart by an uncle’s greed and his lust for his brother’s throne, an innocent, young princess—embarks on a journey that will end in the birth of two sons, one a god, one a mortal, and the creation of the greatest empire the world has ever known–Rome.

Main Conflict: Amulius gains power and his brother’s throne through war and the killing of Numitor’s heirs and Numitor’s castration and exile. The young daughter. Ilia, will suffer a worse defeat via her uncle. She is condemned to the life of a Vestal Virgin in the service of the fires of Vesta. And to die if she violates her oath and bears children.

Then list out the beats of each Act as you have them right now.

THE STRUCTURE QUESTIONS

Act 1:

Opening: Is this an engaging opening scene that lures us into the story? Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode?

It’s Jupiter vs. Mars. They argue. Mars has started a war which is contrary to Jupiter’s plans to build a new empire. Mars is banished from Olympus. He goes to build a home near the Palatine Mountain. There is a temple there built in his honor. Jupiter vows he will build his new empire through the seed of Mars.

Second engaging scene Ilia is telling the story of Aeneas and the founding of their home Alba Longa to her little brother Aegestes to help him fall asleep while they wait for the war to begin.

Inciting Incident: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey?

War is waging between the brothers Amulius and Numitor. Amulius is out to usurp power and take over. He exiles his brother, kills the heirs and he forces young Ilia into service as a Vestal Virgin.

Turning Point: How is this Turning Point a twist that locks us into the journey with “no going back?”

Ilia will not accept her fate. The first thing she does is try to escape. But she fails. She is brought back, beaten and given a heavy guard to watch over her—that she doesn’t do it again.

Act 2:

New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point?

Some time passes. When she thinks it is safe, she tries to escape again. This time she gets a little farther—to the Temple of Mars near the Aventine Hill where she has heard her father has been exiled.

Plan in action: How does the protagonist take action on that plan?

She hides in the temple where she believes she is safe. There she encounters Mars, who is immediately smitten by her. They fall in love. Make love. Mars then leaves again with his wolves, leaving Ilia alone.

Midpoint Turning Point: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey?

In the Meantime, Amulius has learned of her escape in the midst of learning his bride has plotted against him by taking a contraceptive that will allow her to not become pregnant. He breaks the next vile of the elixir she was supposed to drink, he kills her hand maiden who was complicit in the plot and he rapes Tezza.

He then takes his leave to go find Ilia. He thinks he knows where she has gone. To Numitor. There near the Aventine Hill, he finds her in the temple, confronts her and tells her she is never to escape again for next time she will be put to death. He then proceeds to rape her. Bloody her and leave her for dead.

But her cousin and caretaker at the convent, Antho, followed her father, Amulius, along with Ilia’s old man servant, to the temple where they find her, Antho knows what her father did. They take her back to the convent and care for her, save her life.

Act 3:

React/Rethink: What is revealed to the protagonist from the Midpoint? How do they react or rethink things?

Nine months later, Ilia gives birth to twin sons: Romulus who is the son of Mars. Remus who is the son of Amulius.

Amulius has another son by Tezza, Celeres. Once his heir is secured, Amulius proceeds to kill Tezza by strangulation.

New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict?

Days later, Ilia is still hell bent on leaving, escaping. This time Antho says she is going with her, to help her escape her father.

They go with the help of the old man servant, taking the twins with them.

Turning Point: The lowest of the low. How has this Turning Point brought the character to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way? This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way.

When they reach the Malitiosa Forest near the Aventine Hill they part ways. Antho goes one way, Ilia goes another, hoping that her father is still there alive and well. Antho will go to the Palatine Hill. For a while. At least, maybe her father won’t find her there among his cattlemen and shepherds.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate Expression Of The Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a “fight to the death,” either literally or symbolically?

Antho is successful, but Ilia is not. She is found, this time by Amulius’ elite army and she is brought back to Alba Longa in chains along with her twin sons.

There Amulius pronounces sentence upon her: she is to die by drowning in the Tiber River. Her hands are tied and she is taken away by guards, but not before hearing the sentencing of her sons, who Amulius suspects are his, to a watery death, too, in the Tiber. The old man servant for this helping her escape yet again, is forced to do the dirty work for Amulius. But the old man servant cannot harm the boys. Instead, he puts them in a cradle that is water tight, he wraps them in a precious cloak that belonged to their mother, and as he watches Ilia being thrown off the cliff by the soldiers, the man servant gently sends the boys on their way downstream where they will land in an olive grove. There Mars’ wolves find them and care for them.

Resolution: How does this resolution represent the transformation that has taken place and bring this story to a fitting conclusion? How does the change show up in your lead character’s behavior?

There months later, the shepherd Faustulus, and his son Lucius find the boys by accident one day, and take them home to the Aventine Hill where they will care for them as theirs.

THIS IS THE END OF PART ONE. PART TWO BEGINS THE STORY OF ROMULUS AND REMUS 18 YEARS LATER. I HAVEN’T GOTTEN THIS ONE QUITE FINISHED BUT I NEEDED TO GET THIS UP AND RUNNING FOR THE CLASS. I DO HAVE AN EXTENSIVE BEAT SHEET THAT IS ALMOST FINISED WITH DETAILS IN IT.

[Frances Emerson]

Title: BORN OF BLOOD AND FIRE

Genre: HISTORICAL FICTION/FANTASY

Concept: THE STORY OF ROMULUS AND REMUS AS TOLD THROUGH THE EYES OF THEIR MOTHER ILIA

Logline: A destiny forged by the gods, her world torn apart by an uncle’s greed and his lust for his brother’s throne, an innocent, young princess—embarks on a journey that will end in the birth of two sons, one a god, one a mortal, and the creation of the greatest empire the world has ever known–Rome.

Main Conflict: Amulius gains power and his brother’s throne through war and the killing of Numitor’s heirs and Numitor’s castration and exile. The young daughter. Ilia, will suffer a worse defeat via her uncle. She is condemned to the life of a Vestal Virgin in the service of the fires of Vesta. And to die if she violates her oath and bears children.

Then list out the beats of each Act as you have them right now.

THE STRUCTURE QUESTIONS

Act 1:

Opening: Is this an engaging opening scene that lures us into the story? Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode?

It’s Jupiter vs. Mars. They argue. Mars has started a war which is contrary to Jupiter’s plans to build a new empire. Mars is banished from Olympus. He goes to build a home near the Palatine Mountain. There is a temple there built in his honor. Jupiter vows he will build his new empire through the seed of Mars.

Second engaging scene Ilia is telling the story of Aeneas and the founding of their home Alba Longa to her little brother Aegestes to help him fall asleep while they wait for the war to begin.

Inciting Incident: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey?

War is waging between the brothers Amulius and Numitor. Amulius is out to usurp power and take over. He exiles his brother, kills the heirs and he forces young Ilia into service as a Vestal Virgin.

Turning Point: How is this Turning Point a twist that locks us into the journey with “no going back?”

Ilia will not accept her fate. The first thing she does is try to escape. But she fails. She is brought back, beaten and given a heavy guard to watch over her—that she doesn’t do it again.

Act 2:

New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point?

Some time passes. When she thinks it is safe, she tries to escape again. This time she gets a little farther—to the Temple of Mars near the Aventine Hill where she has heard her father has been exiled.

Plan in action: How does the protagonist take action on that plan?

She hides in the temple where she believes she is safe. There she encounters Mars, who is immediately smitten by her. They fall in love. Make love. Mars then leaves again with his wolves, leaving Ilia alone.

Midpoint Turning Point: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey?

In the Meantime, Amulius has learned of her escape in the midst of learning his bride has plotted against him by taking a contraceptive that will allow her to not become pregnant. He breaks the next vile of the elixir she was supposed to drink, he kills her hand maiden who was complicit in the plot and he rapes Tezza.

He then takes his leave to go find Ilia. He thinks he knows where she has gone. To Numitor. There near the Aventine Hill, he finds her in the temple, confronts her and tells her she is never to escape again for next time she will be put to death. He then proceeds to rape her. Bloody her and leave her for dead.

But her cousin and caretaker at the convent, Antho, followed her father, Amulius, along with Ilia’s old man servant, to the temple where they find her, Antho knows what her father did. They take her back to the convent and care for her, save her life.

Act 3:

React/Rethink: What is revealed to the protagonist from the Midpoint? How do they react or rethink things?

Nine months later, Ilia gives birth to twin sons: Romulus who is the son of Mars. Remus who is the son of Amulius.

Amulius has another son by Tezza, Celeres. Once his heir is secured, Amulius proceeds to kill Tezza by strangulation.

New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict?

Days later, Ilia is still hell bent on leaving, escaping. This time Antho says she is going with her, to help her escape her father.

They go with the help of the old man servant, taking the twins with them.

Turning Point: The lowest of the low. How has this Turning Point brought the character to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way? This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way.

When they reach the Malitiosa Forest near the Aventine Hill they part ways. Antho goes one way, Ilia goes another, hoping that her father is still there alive and well. Antho will go to the Palatine Hill. For a while. At least, maybe her father won’t find her there among his cattlemen and shepherds.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate Expression Of The Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a “fight to the death,” either literally or symbolically?

Antho is successful, but Ilia is not. She is found, this time by Amulius’ elite army and she is brought back to Alba Longa in chains along with her twin sons.

There Amulius pronounces sentence upon her: she is to die by drowning in the Tiber River. Her hands are tied and she is taken away by guards, but not before hearing the sentencing of her sons, who Amulius suspects are his, to a watery death, too, in the Tiber. The old man servant for this helping her escape yet again, is forced to do the dirty work for Amulius. But the old man servant cannot harm the boys. Instead, he puts them in a cradle that is water tight, he wraps them in a precious cloak that belonged to their mother, and as he watches Ilia being thrown off the cliff by the soldiers, the man servant gently sends the boys on their way downstream where they will land in an olive grove. There Mars’ wolves find them and care for them.

Resolution: How does this resolution represent the transformation that has taken place and bring this story to a fitting conclusion? How does the change show up in your lead character’s behavior?

There months later, the shepherd Faustulus, and his son Lucius find the boys by accident one day, and take them home to the Aventine Hill where they will care for them as theirs.

THIS IS THE END OF PART ONE. PART TWO BEGINS THE STORY OF ROMULUS AND REMUS 18 YEARS LATER. I HAVEN’T GOTTEN THIS ONE QUITE FINISHED BUT I NEEDED TO GET THIS UP AND RUNNING FOR THE CLASS. I DO HAVE AN EXTENSIVE BEAT SHEET THAT IS ALMOST FINISED WITH DETAILS IN IT.

[Frances Emerson]

ASSIGNMENT TWO

FRAN’S 4ACT STRUCTURE

WHAT I LEARNED: from this and all the other lessons plus what I’m doing for the Autocrit classes I taken so far. It’s getting so much easier for me now to get out an entire outline for my story written and I am no longer struggling with doing one. What made this so great, I entered a short story writing challenge and the first thing I did was outline my story according to what I learned in these classes along with a beat sheet. And it was so easy and it made my writing so fast!! And the best thing about this, I DID NOT PROCRASTINATE!! IT JUST FLOWED!!! YAY!!!

Title: BORN OF BLOOD AND FIRE

Genre: HISTORICAL FICTION/FANTASY

Concept: THE STORY OF ROMULUS AND REMUS AS TOLD THROUGH THE EYES OF THEIR MOTHER ILIA

Logline: A destiny forged by the gods, her world torn apart by an uncle’s greed and his lust for his brother’s throne, an innocent, young princess—embarks on a journey that will end in the birth of two sons, one a god, one a mortal, and the creation of the greatest empire the world has ever known–Rome.

Main Conflict: Amulius gains power and his brother’s throne through war and the killing of Numitor’s heirs and Numitor’s castration and exile. The young daughter. Ilia, will suffer a worse defeat via her uncle. She is condemned to the life of a Vestal Virgin in the service of the fires of Vesta. And to die if she violates her oath and bears children.

Then list out the beats of each Act as you have them right now.

THE STRUCTURE QUESTIONS

Act 1:

Opening: Is this an engaging opening scene that lures us into the story? Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode?

It’s Jupiter vs. Mars. They argue. Mars has started a war which is contrary to Jupiter’s plans to build a new empire. Mars is banished from Olympus. He goes to build a home near the Palatine Mountain. There is a temple there built in his honor. Jupiter vows he will build his new empire through the seed of Mars.

Second engaging scene Ilia is telling the story of Aeneas and the founding of their home Alba Longa to her little brother Aegestes to help him fall asleep while they wait for the war to begin.

Inciting Incident: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey?

War is waging between the brothers Amulius and Numitor. Amulius is out to usurp power and take over. He exiles his brother, kills the heirs and he forces young Ilia into service as a Vestal Virgin.

Turning Point: How is this Turning Point a twist that locks us into the journey with “no going back?”

Ilia will not accept her fate. The first thing she does is try to escape. But she fails. She is brought back, beaten and given a heavy guard to watch over her—that she doesn’t do it again.

Act 2:

New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point?

Some time passes. When she thinks it is safe, she tries to escape again. This time she gets a little farther—to the Temple of Mars near the Aventine Hill where she has heard her father has been exiled.

Plan in action: How does the protagonist take action on that plan?

She hides in the temple where she believes she is safe. There she encounters Mars, who is immediately smitten by her. They fall in love. Make love. Mars then leaves again with his wolves, leaving Ilia alone.

Midpoint Turning Point: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey?

In the Meantime, Amulius has learned of her escape in the midst of learning his bride has plotted against him by taking a contraceptive that will allow her to not become pregnant. He breaks the next vile of the elixir she was supposed to drink, he kills her hand maiden who was complicit in the plot and he rapes Tezza.

He then takes his leave to go find Ilia. He thinks he knows where she has gone. To Numitor. There near the Aventine Hill, he finds her in the temple, confronts her and tells her she is never to escape again for next time she will be put to death. He then proceeds to rape her. Bloody her and leave her for dead.

But her cousin and caretaker at the convent, Antho, followed her father, Amulius, along with Ilia’s old man servant, to the temple where they find her, Antho knows what her father did. They take her back to the convent and care for her, save her life.

Act 3:

React/Rethink: What is revealed to the protagonist from the Midpoint? How do they react or rethink things?

Nine months later, Ilia gives birth to twin sons: Romulus who is the son of Mars. Remus who is the son of Amulius.

Amulius has another son by Tezza, Celeres. Once his heir is secured, Amulius proceeds to kill Tezza by strangulation.

New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict?

Days later, Ilia is still hell bent on leaving, escaping. This time Antho says she is going with her, to help her escape her father.

They go with the help of the old man servant, taking the twins with them.

Turning Point: The lowest of the low. How has this Turning Point brought the character to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way? This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way.

When they reach the Malitiosa Forest near the Aventine Hill they part ways. Antho goes one way, Ilia goes another, hoping that her father is still there alive and well. Antho will go to the Palatine Hill. For a while. At least, maybe her father won’t find her there among his cattlemen and shepherds.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate Expression Of The Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a “fight to the death,” either literally or symbolically?

Antho is successful, but Ilia is not. She is found, this time by Amulius’ elite army and she is brought back to Alba Longa in chains along with her twin sons.

There Amulius pronounces sentence upon her: she is to die by drowning in the Tiber River. Her hands are tied and she is taken away by guards, but not before hearing the sentencing of her sons, who Amulius suspects are his, to a watery death, too, in the Tiber. The old man servant for this helping her escape yet again, is forced to do the dirty work for Amulius. But the old man servant cannot harm the boys. Instead, he puts them in a cradle that is water tight, he wraps them in a precious cloak that belonged to their mother, and as he watches Ilia being thrown off the cliff by the soldiers, the man servant gently sends the boys on their way downstream where they will land in an olive grove. There Mars’ wolves find them and care for them.

Resolution: How does this resolution represent the transformation that has taken place and bring this story to a fitting conclusion? How does the change show up in your lead character’s behavior?

There months later, the shepherd Faustulus, and his son Lucius find the boys by accident one day, and take them home to the Aventine Hill where they will care for them as theirs.

THIS IS THE END OF PART ONE. PART TWO BEGINS THE STORY OF ROMULUS AND REMUS 18 YEARS LATER. I HAVEN’T GOTTEN THIS ONE QUITE FINISHED BUT I NEEDED TO GET THIS UP AND RUNNING FOR THE CLASS. I DO HAVE AN EXTENSIVE BEAT SHEET THAT IS ALMOST FINISED WITH DETAILS IN IT.

[Frances Emerson]

PRO REWRITE ASSIGNMENT ONE

FRAN’S PROJECT PITCH

WHAT I LEARNED: I am working on my loglines, to perfect them. And I am learning to focus on the lead character’s journey to make it as tough, exhilarating and intense as I can for the audience.

I have been in several classes now. For another class, not here, I signed up to write a short story in their short story challenge. I used these techniques I learned here to outline and put the story together before the actual writing and BOY!!! Did it ever work for that! I really got a great story, I have one person who LOVES it. I am crossing my fingers it will be the ticket to win one of 10 spots in the anthology they are going to be publishing!!!

PITCH

GENRE: HISTORICAL FICTION/FANTASY (MYTH, LEGEND)

TITLE: BORN OF BLOOD AND FIRE

HIGH CONCEPT: (LOGLINE) Her destiny forged by the gods, her world torn apart by an uncle’s greed and lust for power, an innocent, young woman—and the two sons she will give birth to—embark on a journey that will end in the creation of the greatest empire the world has ever known–Rome.

MAIN CONFLICT: Is between Ilia (Rhea Sylvia,) the young woman, and her uncle Amulius, who kills her brothers, exiles her father and forces her to become a Vestal virgin, as she struggles to survive her ordeal and later helps her father reclaim his throne and his kingdom of Alba Longa.

TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY: Young, innocent, naïve Ilia transforms into the strong, matriarch of a family who will become the founders and first kings of Rome. She will finally get revenge on her uncle under a new, more powerful name and with the help of the twin sons she will bear.

OPPOSITION: Amulius, the uncle overcomes her every move to the point he thinks he has killed her, but she survives to kill him, exacting revenge for tearing her world apart and killing her husband, Gracchus, the Sabine ruler she is destined to marry and who fathers her third son, Numa, the second, Sabine, King of Rome.

[Frances Emerson]

Hi Everyone:

I’ve been writing for a long times. I have several articles published in local papers and magazines. I am currently working on a short story writing challenge. I have one comedy script finished. A second historical fiction one almost completed, and two others in progress that need a major rewrite. I also have one incomplete I want to finish and another I’m writing with a friend another comedy. I’m taking this class specifically to rewrite the two I need to rewrite. Glad to meet you all.

[Frances Emerson]

I agree to the terms of this class confidentiality agreement.

AGREE, in which case, you Reply to this topic and include three things at the top of the page:

1. Your name. Frances Emerson

2. The words “I agree to the terms of this release form.”

3. Please leave the entire text below to confirm what you agree to.

OR

NOT AGREE, in which case, you hit “Reply to this topic” and type in the words “I’ll do the class privately.”

If you agree to the terms of the release form, then you can post your assignments into the group and your cohort can give feedback on them.

Also, if you don’t agree to this group confidentiality agreement, you’ll still need to sign an agreement that says you will keep the strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for

[Frances Emerson]

I waited and waited and waited for the person who was going to evaluate these pitches for me, but she never got back to me. So, as far as I’m concerned, too much time has passed. I’m posting. I am finished with this class.

My Steamboat script is a three-parter. And so the length of the story description in my query letter.

PHONE PITCH

Hi. My name is Frances Emerson. I’ve been a student of several UCLA screenwriting classes and am an alumna of the ScreenwritingU.com PROseries with Hal Croasmun. I’m a published writer and a certified public school teacher (Social Studies) who’s written an historical drama on the greatest race to be recorded in the annals of American History: THE GREAT STEAMBOAT RACE BETWEEN THE NATCHEZ AND THE ROBERT E. LEE.

ELEVATOR PITCH

Sent to report on a decades long grudge match between the captains of the Natchez and the Robert E. Lee, a young, untested—ultra-conservative–news reporter finds himself falling in love with the woman he least expected: his dead fiance’s—unconventional, free-thinking, free-spirited–cousin.

PITCH FEST PITCH

BIO/INTRO:

Hi. I’m Frances Emerson. I’m a certified History teacher. A published writer of several magazine and newspaper articles. And I’m a third runner up in the Seven Rays Scene writing Contest. I’ve taken several online screenwriting classes from UCLA and ScreenwritingU.com, including their Pro-Series and advanced alumni classes.

TITLE/GENRE:

My script is an historical fiction/drama based on the true story “The Great Steamboat Race Between the Natchez and the Robert E. Lee.”

HOOK:

Young, untested Charles Welbourne Knapp, his heart broken by the death of this fiancé, is sent on assignment by his father to write the story of the century on the ‘race of the century’ for their newspaper, the Missouri Republican.

Only to find himself in the throes of falling in love again with his dead fiance’s cousin, facing a handsome rival– a man with ulterior motives in winning Frances’ hand for himself, and helping John Cannon, captain of the Robert E. Lee, to win the race and title “king of the Mississippi River.”

In this process I would carry the pictures of the real captains and Charles with me in case they ask questions about the story, the real people and why I wrote this story. And also, who would be great actors for the parts.

QUERY LETTER

GENRE: Drama/ History, Historical Fiction

TITLE: THE GREAT STEAMBOAT RACE BETWEEN THE NATCHEZ AND THE ROBERT E. LEE, (a story presented in three parts)

LOGLINE: Can a young, untested newspaper reporter, his heart torn by the loss of his fiancé, find love again when he’s assigned to cover the steamboat “race of the century” aboard the celebrated Robert E. Lee?

Called the “race of the century,” it filled newspaper headlines and pages across America and around the world in 1870. Two steamboat captains, bitter rivals, having finally agreed to a grueling 1200 mile race up the Mississippi River from New Orleans to St. Louis, winner take all.

The Missouri Republican was no exception.

Young Charles Knapp, just home from college, is commissioned by his father to report on the story for their paper. But Charles, trained as a lawyer, not a newspaper reporter, is reluctant to take on such a major story.

And there’s another problem. He’s still grieving over the loss of his beloved fiancé, Abigail.

The first thing he encounters in New Orleans: Abigail’s cousin, Frances Shackelford, who’s there on a shopping trip with her father. Frances is determined to win Charles for herself, now that he’s available to love again. In a moment, she decides to steal away on board the Robert E. Lee to woo Charles.

The race begins with a surprise. Cannon outsmarts Leathers, who’s known for his cheating, by pinning the Natchez in her mooring until the Lee is well on her way up river.

As Frances prepares to woo Charles, she accidentally encounters a young, very handsome, war hero—and fortune hunter— Albert Eberman, who slowly wedges himself between Charles and Frances, nearly winning Frances for himself.

Not 100 miles into the race, a failing boiler on the Lee puts the race in great jeopardy. All on board could be killed if it explodes. Cannon is convinced he needs to end the race before it does. Luckily, John Wiest, a miracle worker in the engine room, saves the race, to his own great peril, repairing the leak before disaster strikes.

Charles quickly finds himself becoming a fifth wheel in the triangle as he watches Albert woo Frances to finally propose, and suddenly finding himself quite jealous over Albert’s intentions toward her.

Neither a big fan of the other, Charles and Richard Shackelford team up to rescue Frances from the nefarious fortune hunter.

But Frances discovers first, on her own, Albert’s romancing another, older, moneyed, matron on board behind her back.

The race, still far from over, the captains prepare to enter Devil’s Country, a long stretch of river between Cairo and St. Louis fraught with dangers even the best, most experienced steamboat captains dread to traverse. And to top it off, an unseasonably thick, opaque fog settles in, making it almost impossible to see anything beyond the bow of either steamer.

The fog, too thick, too dangerous to risk his newly built steamboat to the dangerous rocks hidden below the Mississippi waters, Leathers finally gives in, tying up the Natchez to wait it out until the morning.

But Cannon’s men refuse to give up. Enoch King, the pilot Cannon hired to get them through Devil’s Country, asks for the “best eyes” on board to help him navigate through the thick fog. Charles volunteers to help course the Lee’s way to Grand Tower.

Just before dawn, the fog suddenly, miraculously dissipates long enough to open a straight pathway to St. Louis. Cannon takes full advantage, and it’s FULL STEAM AHEAD for the Robert E. Lee.

The Lee makes her triumphant entry into St. Louis a full six hours ahead of the Natchez. STREAMS OF WELLWISHERS RUSH to greet her. Cannons fire. And there’s a photo finish!

As for Charles and Frances, finding themselves on the Texas Deck watching it all as they trundle into St. Louis, there’s another proposal of marriage, this time between Charles and Frances.

I am currently taking screenwriting classes from ScreenwritingU.com and have taken several others previously from UCLA online and Masterclass. I am a third runner-up in the Seven Rays Scene Writing Contest. And I have had several history and current event articles published in local newspapers and magazines.

I am a certified, public-school teacher (History) in New York State.

I would be more than happy to send you a copy of my Steamboat script for your consideration.

Thank you in advance for sharing with me some of your precious time.

[Frances Emerson]

PAID WRITING ASSIGNMENTS LESSON TWELVE

FRAN’S MARKETING PLAN

WHAT I LEARNED:

My letter:

About Your Next Historical Fiction Drama Movie

In the Heart of the Sea

Dear Mr. Howard:

I have seen many of your movies. I especially enjoyed Apollo 13 and used in in several classes I either taught or subbed in. I also know and have seen your specialty movies like The Grinch and can’t wait to see what else you come up with.

I just wanted to let you know that I am currently working on an Historical Fiction piece, but I’m will and available to do writing assignments for you. Rewrite a screenplay, adapt a book. Or write a story from one of your ideas. I’d be happy to send you a writing sample so you know the quality of my work.

I am a third runner-up in the Seven Rays Scene Writing Contest. I have also had several works published in newspapers and magazine. I can send you a complete resume if you wish.

Let me know if there is anything you need or that I can do in the way of making your next film a bi easier to get done.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Frances Emerson

315-789-1494

315-651-2414

emersofe@yahoo.com

Linkedin.com/

I am busy working on a piece for the Autocrit writing challenge.

I will be at some very soon fixing my LinkedIn profile.

I will continue to look for and apply for writing gigs and inktip and ISA

And I will continue to apply for fellowships that fit my work

[Frances Emerson]

PAID WRITING ASSIGNMENTS LESSON 11

FRAN’S PRICING STRATEGIES

WHAT I LEARNED: Just keep plugging away. And if there’s an opportunity to have your work/writing noticed in some way, take it!

Right now I’m working on historical fiction/drama, also comedy

I’ve entered a writing challenge.

I’m a member of the IMDBPRO.com

I’m a member of Inktip.com

I am currently polishing my stuff for linkedin and inktip.

I’m also looking for writing assignments I can apply to.

I’ve applied to one.

I’ve also applied for a fellowship.

I’ve pitched two scripts, and pitch my credibilities.

I just keep searching for opportunities, and writing and taking classes.

And finish my almost finished scripts.

Set up the rewriting of two more scripts.

Network.

[Frances Emerson]

PAID WRITING ASSIGNMENTS LESSON 10

FRAN’S TAKING NOTES

WHAT I LEARNED: The story was easy to convert. I just needed to think about it and do more practicing. Get more creative in my mind.

LOGLINE: An old diary discovered hidden away in the bowels of a college library sets off a no holds barred college wide hunt for the mystery writer who penned the macabre, but very funny (and popular!) stories within its pages.

I would make strict use of the setting. Make it a contained movie, as contained as the scenes will allow.

Keep my characters to a minimum. Right now I only have six major characters. I can keep the others down within the stories I need to tell in Raven’s diary.

I would write it for children.

To double the conflict, I would keep the romance down to a minimum or take it out altogether. Make sure the two girls who are in conflict have a real bruhaha at some point over who wrote the stories.

My audience, I would target middle school.

To change the genre, I would change it from comedy to straight fantasy (for the children) more ghost story. Or go for straight mystery.

[Frances Emerson]

PAID WRITING ASSIGNMENTS LESSON #9

FRAN’S DECREASED BUDGET

WHAT I LEARNED: Because my high-end budget movie is an historical work that needs to be accurate in the telling, this will be a costly movie. I looked these over, Need to discuss with the person who would be making the ultimate decisions. But there is little I can do with the actual story and the need for accuracy. What I think I could do with it is just try to hold down the cost in everyway that I can on everything.

Here is where I would cut.

Locations: Along the Mississippi River. Old towns. There may be a need to recreate some of them. I have cut down a number of places along the way the steamers passed or stopped to accommodate the places I need to keep.

Expensive locations: A recreation of the world of the 1870’s is a must or locating towns that still look like they’re out of the history books. Try to find the old towns first before having to recreate them with CGI or building.

Characters: There were a ton of people involved in this race. My main characters are on the steamers. I need only those who will forward the story. The others must be used only as extras and as needed to forward the story. I’m trying to use only those characters that are essential to my story.

Special effects: there will be some very tough race scenes that will need to be filmed. My story is driven thru the love story on the one steamer and the conflict of two of the characters on the other. So, special effects will be minimal. And the sets will be mimimal.

Pages: I have been trying to keep my pages at a minimum for each part of the story.

Crowd scenes. Tons of people were there to witness the race. CGI may be needed to recreate the largeness of the crowds. But we can use a minimum of people for each crowd if that is the case.

Stunts, etc. I only have one major fight scene, no car chases, but there are stunts in two scenes that will need to be choreographed as to how the men and women did it in the race. And one boiler scene that needs to be shown as it was done in real life.

I have the permission to use songs written by a gentleman who is now deceased.

Explosions were par for the course on steamboats. I am showing two, they can mostly, probably be done with CGI. No guns, several cannon shots. Fireworks.

Two kids one only has maybe 3 minutes tops screen time. The other three or four scenes. They are not long.

Animals. Horses and buggies

There is a major storm (that was a fluke and only lasted minutes) that will need to be shown, but mostly the weather was perfect summer weather. AND THEN THE FOG!

The story is on the Mississippi.

There are a number of night scenes that need to be filmed as it was done in the real story. But mostly they are on the steamers where gas lamp lighting can be used.

NO modern equipment such as helicopters, drones, etc.

Green screen work may be required.

Archival footage. Some. I don’t think much exists for the 1870’s. I have the photos I need.

The stunts that do need to be done will be dangerous and need some insurance. Stunts are mimimal, but these scenes are necessary to the actual story.

Expensive Costuming is only needed for the one woman on board, Frances, and the Matron’s couple of scenes with Albert. The rest isn’t fancy dresses for the women. The crowd scenes dressed in their Sunday best. There must be dresses from years gone by that can be rented or borrowed for the crowd scenes.

The only other fancy costuming will be for Captain Leathers. We need to re-create his fancy authentic captain’s uniform he wore on the day the race began.

If I have to, I guess I could eliminate altogether the flashback of the explosion and destruction of the Sultana. It’s only necessary to the secondary story on board the Natchez. The two characters can talk about it rather than show it on screen.

[Frances Emerson]

This one was hard considering there was so much relevant information in each paragraph. It was hard to get it down to 2-3 pages. that is something I think we all need to practice. But what is here was great no matter. I had a great time with this exercise. It have me a lot of insight working with another writer.

3-ACT STRUCTURE OUTLINE/TREATMENT:

OPENING:

Talented singer/dancer/entertainer. Crowds love him.—And romantic!—His wife is in love with hm, too. They are the life of the party whenever they are out and about. They love their life together.

He also teaches workshops, as part of his promoting, but he’s not excited about it. Even though he does it well, it always feels like a burden. The work doesn’t compare to the joy he gets with the challenges of creating and performing.

One day, after laying floor in a new home studio, he finds his back aching. He’s experiencing chills. Thinking he’s possibly dehydrated, caught the flu, or something, he goes to bed. When he wakes, feeling better, he goes right back at the heavy lifting/construction work.

INCITING INCIDENT:

But then, the next morning, he wakes to discover his left leg and left hand are not working properly. His feet and part of his legs, stomach are numb. He wonders, is it Lyme disease, or did I have a mini stroke in my sleep?

In denial at first, soon, his constant, external circumstances affirm he has a serious problem. Frightened, his wife drives him to the Emergency Room–to watch her former dancer/musician slowly hobble in. Four days later, after running all kinds of blood tests and imagings, the doctors discover a herniated lumbar disk, a common injury. (All the other tests for neurological or immune disease came up negative.) INTRIGUE: dramatic question: “What’s wrong with him?” He’s released with a script for PT/Rehab and basic instructions to resume normal activity.

He tries to resume “normal activity” and PT with ambition (gusto?). He’s always enjoyed rising to the challenge, and takes this as no exception. But, this time, it doesn’t work. Certain prescribed activities seem to be making things worse. He can’t lie in bed no matter how many different positions and cushions he tries. He can’t perform anymore because his hands don’t work right. Instead of getting looser, he gets stiffer and tighter. He looks normal standing, but he can’t walk more than five feet without a cane or a walker. And he can’t sit down in a chair for more than a minute, without special cushions, before experiencing pain.

Over time, his back pain improves, but new symptoms begin to appear: muscles involuntarily tighten up; if he twists or over-stretches or bends, excruciating Charlie-horse type cramps, shock, spasms wrack his body. Concerned he won’t get better, his wife tells him to persist. Don’t give up the fight. This is only temporary.

Finally, he takes to sleeping in his car, the only seat that allows him any rest. His driving becomes limited when he almost gets into a serious car accident. His wife now has to drive him–to all kinds of specialists. But they all say the same thing: “Stay the course, and don’t overdue. Nerves take a long time to heal.”

FIRST ACT TURNING POINT:

Dramatic question/call to action: wife says “I’m going to do whatever it takes to heal my husband.”

His illness drags on for another year putting a heavy burden on their lives. The wife now has to take on extra jobs, besides being a full-time caretaker, because he still can’t return to work. He begins a regimen of eating healthy, getting proper rest, seeking alternative remedies from other health experts: Chiropractors, Herbalists, Accupuncturists, etc. to get cured. Everything he tries provides temporary relief. But the underlying problem persists. He still can’t walk, sit, sleep, etc.

Their recreational life, too, is shot no matter what event/activity they try: eating out, dancing, going to the movies, sitting in chairs for extended periods of time. And forget about their sex lives. Everything causes aches or spasms/cramps. He can’t enjoy anything. He’s always compromising in some way. He can’t even turn or roll over without feeling like his legs are on fire or being electrocuted.

Even when he tries to make an effort to go out with old friends, he knows it’s not pleasant for them to watch him suffer. He sees it in their faces. His presence at an event has gone from being “Santa Claus” to “Sorry, no gifts today.” His wife sees it, too. Empathizes with him. His joy is all, but gone. He can’t entertain his friends, enjoy his own talents anymore. Nothing’s working. Depression’s starting to creep in. His wife sees it, and knows it, too, what he’s feeling. There’s an underlying sadness underneath it all.

All this time, she’s been nothing but loving, supportive. The extra doctor visits. The extra work around the house, the personal care. She didn’t mind. She’s learned to manage, make time for herself. But her biggest internal conflict is how hard it is to watch him struggle in his pain. A new doctor tells him he probably has damaged glial cells in his nerve, combined with demylenation (auto-immune condition) that’s beyond the ability for his body to repair. IE: the new normal. Open to whatever it takes for his wife to not have to watch him suffer, he tells her that even if she can’t relieve his physical pain, or if he doesn’t ever heal, just knowing she understands what he’s going through gives him what he needs to make life worth living. This makes her feel connected to him, which brings them closer together.

ANOTHER TURNING POINT?

He starts taking a new medication that isn’t designed to help him heal in any way, it’s just supposed to make him feel better. A month later, he discovers he’s starting to fantasize about dying. “Maybe my death and relief from all this is best for both me and my wife.” The wife wonders, “is he going to be stuck in depression?” The audience wonders, “is he going to kill himself?”

One night, in a state of semi-delerium, he tries to retrieve an old piece of musical equipment out of the cellar thinking, “Maybe I can get it upstairs. Clean it up and play it. Maybe it will renew my spirits.” But when he tries to play it, his body can’t handle it. He has a relapse. His wife’s biggest fear is manifested when she finds him unconscious in the cellar.

MIDPOINT

Waking up in a new hospital far from home, in the heart of a major metropolitan area, (after an ambulance took him there,) he discovers he has new injuries from a fall that causes a new specialist to examine other areas of this spine. They discover the earlier disk damage has mostly healed, but there’s a deeper problem: pinched nerves in his back and neck from scar tissue caused by previous accidents years ago that had gone undiagnosed all this time—indicating serious spinal surgery. Doctors can’t promise he will make a full recovery. They can only promise if he doesn’t get the surgery, it will get worse. Hearing the diagnosis, he bursts out laughing. “Somebody,” he says, “finally found what’s wrong with me!” They’ve “gotten to the heart of the problem.”

More than ready for surgery, the doctor says he can’t operate, not just yet. They need new imaging, tests. They also need to take the time to seek out the best neurosurgeon available.

(One or two scenes of the waiting period between that diagnosis and surgery. At least a month or two of back and forth with imaging and surgery scheduling departments. The sudden impatience of waiting, waiting, for the surgery now becomes the biggest point of tension. He’s more angry now than depressed and/or scared and that makes it even harder for his wife to connect emotionally with him. When he was sad, he wasn’t scary. Now that he’s angry, he’s scary and/or unapproachable. She’d almost prefer to live with a cripple that she can talk to than an angry scrooge taking out his struggle on her.)

SECOND ACT TURNING POINT:

After the operation, he discovers he can feel his feet again. Tears of joy, relief roll down his cheeks. He still needs several weeks of rehab, but he feels born again. In rehab, he sees so many other people who have it far worse than him. Different ailments putting their lives on hold, with no guarantee they’ll ever be able to experience simple pleasures again. Moved with compassion, still recovering from surgery, he starts teaching dance lessons to those who can handle it. People laugh, smile for the first time in years, not just the dance students, but other patients, and the employees who watch and get caught up in the new life-affirming energy in the place. His wife cries tears of joy—for him and her. Her husband’s been restored to her.

Steadily, his old life comes alive again. His playing at the club, his eating at his favorite restaurants. His playing squash at the gym. Everyone is thrilled seeing the joy he has, his gratitude. But somehow he’s different. His wife can tell. Discontent.

Returning to his old joys of performing no longer fulfill him the way they once did. Instead, he’s become far more interested, impassioned in helping those less fortunate–and their challenging him to push himself to the next level. His new love, life manifested while teaching dance at the rehab, he decides to make teaching his new career/mission/passion.

CRISIS:

But through the eyes of his wife, all is not the same. Even though she did everything she could to return him to the world, she feels he still hasn’t returned to her. She’s still not connecting with him on an emotional level like before the injury. And now that he’s been reborn with a new-found calling, she worries his new passion will engulf all his time. She may never get him back—her Romeo. She realizes she was happier during his worst. At the height of his injury when they couldn’t bear seeing each other in pain.

CLIMAX:

Soon, in one of his new dance teaching gigs, he discovers what it means to be the “guide on the side” as opposed to the “sage on the stage.” Making him aware of exactly what she’s feeling, thinking, he’s able to diagnose a female student with the exact remedy she needs. Even though the news is “bad,” she laughs out loud because she says she’s “thrilled that somebody’s finally “gotten to the heart of the problem.” Across the room, he discovers another man connecting with his wife on that same level and realizes what his next “adventure” needs to be: reconnecting with his wife on that level—in real life.

RESOLUTION:

He’s finally learned to prioritize being a “Romeo” and connecting with his wife emotionally over any other project/mission in his life. In the same way she hated seeing him in distress and was devoted to leaving no stone unturned in relieving is physical discomfort, he now hates seeing her in emotional stress/discomfort and knows he must remain devoted to leaving no stone unturned in finding the remedy for her. She reminds him that even if he doesn’t “solve the problem,” just knowing he understands what she’s going through gives her what she needs to make life worth living. He vows he won’t let the passion of this world get in the way again of making sure she’s esteemed and comforted, emotionally, every day. And loved.

[Frances Emerson]

PAID WRITING ASSIGNMENTS LESSON SEVEN

FRAN’S FANTASTIC OUTLINE/TREATMENT

WHAT I LEARNED: It took some work. I know there’s more to do, not everything we discussed is in here, but I know the more I work on it the better it will be! I know it’s still too long for the assignment, but it’s only 5 pages.

TITLE: FALL OF THE HOUSE OF ZANDERGROM

GENRE: COMEDY (GOTH-LIKE)

LOGLINE: An old diary discovered hidden away in the bowels of a college library sets off a no holds barred college wide hunt for the mystery writer who penned the macabre, but very funny (and popular!) stories within its pages.

TREATMENT/ WITH SLUGLINES

THE HOOK:

INT. OLD CREEPY BEAT UP MANSION, DILAPILATED LIVING ROOM – DARK

We open on an aging, infirm man wallowing in the death of his beloved–and his self-pity for all his woes. The casket remains in the old dilapilated Living Room of an old dilapilated castle of sorts. It’s a movie scene being filmed by the brother of the actor who plays the old infirm man. Eddie is dead serious about getting his film done. (ART) His brother Freddie is a prankster and will do anything to disrupt or crack up his co-stars (NOT SERIOUS), which he does—to Eddie’s morbid disgruntlement—and being simply fed up by his brother’s constant harassing, stunts and put downs.

THE ORDINARY WORLD of Raven.

INT. COLLEGE CAMPUS NEWSPAPER OFFICE – DAY

Raven, a young, brilliant (she doesn’t think so) co-ed working for the college newspaper. She’s an okay student, but a brilliant fiction—leaning toward the gothic, macabre–writer. Precocious. She’s sloughing off on her job, instead of writing for the campus newspaper at the moment, she’s busy working on another one of her stories in her beat up, old diary. Pierce, the newspaper editor enters.

(CALL TO ADVENTURE—REFUSAL OF THE CALL)

He’s not a happy camper. Raven slams her diary shut, hides it before he can see it. (But we see the diary, we know it’s hers.) Raven’s work isn’t up to snuff, he says. He needs a rewrite on her latest article asap. Raven counters it’s fine. No, Pierce returns, it’s not—it’s not the way I want it. Rewrite it or I’m going to have to relegate you to the classifieds and give Spectra a shot at writing the articles. (tough boss!—Maybe a little too tough?)

NO! Spectra’s not a writer.

Spectra and her twin sister Storm overhear, revel in Raven’s reprimand. (They secretly hate Raven and bully her every chance they can get.)

Spectra, who also wants to be Pierce’s girlfriend, fawns all over him. She’s been wanting this shot for a very long time—not only writing a major article for the paper, but actually becoming Pierce’s girlfriend. (Too bad she doesn’t know–and neither does Raven–Pierce secretly has a crush on Raven, but Pierce can’t let her know. No workplace romances, what he learned from his dad.) Pierce says it to Spectra. No workplace romances, understood? It’s the rule. (Secretly, he just doesn’t want to date her.)

Raven, far from happy, looks to the pile of rejection slips on her desk, sighs. And now rewrite the article or be relegated to soliciting classified ads to pay the bills. I didn’t want to be a famous writer anyway.

George, Raven’s nerdy friend who also works for the paper, overhears and consoles.

EXT. CAMPUS QUAD/PARK – DAY

Raven gathers her books, diary, they head out to the quad. Raven’s down on herself. Why did she ever think she could write for the campus paper anyway. I’ll never be a newspaper reporter like Pierce or his dad. George tells her she’s a great writer. She just needs to have a little more faith in herself and her writing. Her articles really are good—despite what Pierce says. Maybe you should try your hand at writing fiction, short stories, novels. ME??? She scoffs (fakery). Write fiction????? I’m already a B student. Can’t bribe an A out of any of my professors. Maybe I’ll just quit.

George can’t talk her out of her funk. So, he shares his good news. Pierce has given him a great assignment. He wants me to chase down the story about our alleged ghost who walks the campus and halls at night. There’ve been reports it’s been seen lately. COOL! Raven’s happy for George. But George doesn’t have clue one about how to find anything on the story. He’s never heard of the ghost. Raven tells him to go ask the reference librarian. George asks Raven to go with him. She can’t. She has a class, she’s late already. Maybe later they can look together. Or maybe he shouldn’t trust a loser news reporter with helping him on his new assignment. They part ways.

Raven, in her haste, a gentleman has kind of scared her. They talk a moment. Your friend is right. It’s a fascinating story. I’m going to the Monet bridge just over there. May I walk you to your class—that far at least. Raven declines and hurries off, dropping her diary in her haste. She doesn’t realize she dropped it.

All this time, Spectra and Storm have been eavesdropping, observing–plotting. The twins see her talking to someone, but they can’t see who it is. They think she’s talking into the air. She’s nuts. The girls retrieve the diary. Storm begins reading the stories. Spectra asks her why, like there’s anything worthwhile in it. Spectra comes up with a better plan. Hide the diary. Make sure it’s put it where Raven can NEVER find. It. Storm says—let’s put it where NO ONE’S ever going to find it. IN THE LIBRARY! They hurry off.

(CROSSING THE THRESHHOLD—THE START OF FUN AND GAMES)

INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY, REFERENCE DESK/ INT. ARCHIVE ROOM

The girls find George with the Librarian getting a key. They follow him down into the basement where they watch, wait for him to open the door. At the opportune moment (when George leaves for a moment goes into a bathroom) they go inside, (one reamins on the lookout) slip the diary onto a shelf of old books before he returns and leave.

George, looking for his list of books, goes to that same shelf and grabs the diary, thinking it’s one of the books he needs. Back at his table, he opens the diary, begins reading. What he discovers is a treasure trove of stories. WONDERFUL stories. And another potentially great story for the paper. He can’t wait to show them to Pierce. He takes the diary with him.

INT. CAMPUS CLASSROOM/ NEWSPAPER OFFICE

Raven soon discovers her diary’s missing. She can’t find it anywhere. But she can’t let anyone know. Especially the twins. She can’t let anyone to find out. They’ll make fun of her stories. And risk being bullied even worse. What to do? Meanwhile, Spectra is at it trying to write “her” story. OR more exactly, REWRITE RAVEN’S! To get Pierce’s attention. Pierce also thinks George is right about the stories. He sees great potential in them. Potential in the mystery writer. (Maybe we can flesh him/her out and get him/her known!) George suggests he publishes them as a new column, a weekly serial like they used to do with books. And see if anyone else likes them, too. Couldn’t hurt. Maybe even flesh out the writer of the stories, learn who wrote them. Pierce says you just earned your pay for the week. You’re in charge of the column. GREAT! George now has his hands full—another mystery on his hands he needs to solve!

Pierce also thinks George is right about the stories. He sees great potential in them. Potential in the mystery writer. (Maybe we can flesh him/her out and get him/her known!) George suggests he publishes them as a new column, a weekly serial like they used to do with books. And see if anyone else likes them, too. Couldn’t hurt. Maybe even flesh out the writer of the stories, learn who wrote them. Pierce says you just earned your pay for the week. You’re in charge of the column. GREAT! George now has his hands full—another mystery on his hands he needs to solve!

MIDPOINT—TURNING POINT

Pierce finally goes to Raven to see if her story’s rewritten. Still not happy, he says, he’s going to give Spectra a shot at writing this story, he tells her. Off to the classifieds. Oh, by the way, George is starting a new column this week. Maybe you can help him out set it up.—Learn how to do an assignment? Cheap shot. (Pierce is really bending over backwards trying not to show favoritism.) Raven is so thrilled—NOT! Insulted? Working with one of her nemeses??????? George and Raven go ghost hunting.

EXT./INT. CAMPUS WIDE – DAYS LATER / INT. NEWSPAPER OFFICE

Published stories later, EVERYONE LOVES THEM! They want more! Everyone wants to know who the author of the stories is. Problem: They don’t know. No name in the diary, nothing. Not one clue. EXCEPT FOR …

CRISIS

INT. DORM ROOM/SUITE/ INT. NEWSPAPER OFFICE

SO THAT’S WHERE MY DIARY WENT!!!! RAVEN KNOWS EXACTLY WHOSE STORIES THEY ARE! She’s beside herself. Embarrassed. Plus, they are running out of stories. To deflect, Raven asks, did you ever finish writing your ghost story? No, still can’t find much on it. Raven says. Well, maybe together we can. Let’s get that one done and see if that’s accepted as one of the stories. (Trying to hide herself.)

They do. Now everyone thinks George is the writer of the stories. There’s even a suggestion of throwing him a big party to celebrate. George insists it’s not his work! He suggests instead to hold a contest, a hunt for the mystery writer. The librarian says the diary was never part of the collection. It must have been put there by mistake. Pierce’s all for it. He wants to know who the writer is, too, and maybe help him get more of their works published—maybe even get them into a book.

Raven is now beside herself. WHAT IS SHE GOING TO DO? SHE DOESN’T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW, ESPECIALLY THE TWINS. They’ll never let her live them down, she believes. (and then it dawns on her—Pierce wants to have her stories published into a book!!!) Pierce tells Raven, here’s your chance to redeem yourself. You help George run the contest. Find out who our mystery writer is, write the story and I’ll put you back on as a reporter. OH GOD NO! In the meantime, Raven and George think getting She and George take off to come up with the contest, while Spectra goes snooping around Raven’s desk hoping to find something, anything to help her write her story, she kows she’s a really a lousy writer. She discovers the beginnings of a NEW story …. AH HA!!! Spectra knows, she thinks, who wrote the stories!! Storm is let in on it as well. She says yep. It’s just like the ones I read in the diary. Well, they’re not going to let Raven get any credit, if they can help it.

CRISIS GETS WORSE

AND THEN … it gets even worse. The minute the contest is unleashed …. Guess who claims SHE WROTE THE STORIES??? Spectra tells everyone she’s been wanting to be a budding fiction writer all along, they are her stories. And she wants to get credit now for writing them. RAVEN IS LIVID. SPECTRA CAN’T REALLY BE SERIOUS. SHE’S ALWAYS MAKING FUN OF ME. AND NOW SHE WANTS TO TAKE CREDIT FOR SOMETHING SHE DIDN’T DO?

EXT. QUAD/PARK, MONET BRIDGE – DAY

Raven has to go and think. What is she going to do? She meets up with the stranger, gentleman again who talks to her and gives her some fatherly, sage advice about being a writer. And allowing other people take credit for their work. The man asks if Raven’s seen a young woman, about yay tall, beautiful long tresses of brown hair. She walks in beauty like the night. He has an air of a poet about him. Byron didn’t allow people to take credit for his work. Neither should you. P. S. Your stories are wonderful. Own them. Own it that you ARE a brilliant writer. Pierce doesn’t see what he has in you–yet. Raven says she’ll keep a look out for her. The man tells her. The story is in the library. You just have to look in the right place. And then he tells her where. She turns to leave for the library. Turns back to thank him … the man is gone.

INT. CAMPUS NEWS OFFICE

Pierce suspects. George, too. He says she can’t possibly be the writer. She can even write up a good ad without my help. He suggests let’s play this out and see. Pierce fakes an interview with Spectra. Tries playing her up, tripping her up. Tell me what’s your favorite story so far. Oh, oh. She doesn’t know any of the stories. She hasn’t read any of them! She tries to fudge it. Nope. Won’t work.

There have always been clues in the stories who the writer is. They look and look again. Raven finally brings in the story George was supposed to write. She says I talked to a man. He didn’t tell me his name. He told me where to look in the library. George. Your ghost story. She hands him the story.

CLIMAX

Then Raven tells Pierce where to go. What he can do with his job. I’m through putting myself down. I’m through with people ripping my words to shreds. I’m a great writer. You saw it these past weeks. Everyone loves my work. They maybe a little to strange for the average Joe. I may be strange to the average Joe. But I would have hoped eventually you would have seen—I’m worth every penny you pay me for my work. And George adds and he does pay us in pennies. Nothing, in fact. For you, George. A gift. And after you’ve read this story. Meet me on the Monet Bridge. I have something to show you. Raven leaves.

RESOLUTION

Spectra and Storm give Pierce a glad she’s gone. Pierce says, you two have always given her a hard time. Not unlike bullies who rule high schools. But this is college and Raven is a talented writer. You two, on the other hand …He turns to George. It’s my responsibility. I’ll go talk to her.

EXT. QUAD, PARK, MONET BRIDGE?

Instead of George showing up, it’s Pierce. He apologizes and tells her she is a great writer and these stories do deserve to be published. I want to publish them. And keep on publishing—if yo want to write them. Raven says it’s been hard thinking of herself as a writer. But you know you’re right. I am a good writer and everyone needs to know that. I realize that now. No more classified ads or punishment of any kind. Pierce says it’s a deal. And then he confesses. He’s been harder on her because of his feelings. She’s flabberghasted. He asks her to be his date for the big celebration. The big reveal. I thought no fraternizing on the job. And he says that was my dad’s rule. I think I can bend the rules a bit for this generation! Raven says yes. And before they can seal the deal … The gentleman shows up with his lady friend. Raven says you found her. I did! Thanks to you! They walk off together toward the Monet bridge and disappear. George show ups. Can we get some new stories now? Raven says absolutely. In fact, she hands him another one.

Pierce is shocked amazed. Yes, there is such a thing as a paranormal experience. He says, thank God it is for real. They all walk off together, Pierce and Raven holding hands, into the mist, too.

[Frances Emerson]

PAID WRITING ASSIGNMENTS LESSON SIX

FRAN’S Synopsis for Produce Interview

WHAT I LEARNED: This was a great experience. And I really had fun discussing my project with Joe. He had so many suggestions for it to enhance the plot and what the characters would do. I already had experiences with difficult people discussing work. But this was easy and fun and I really enjoyed the talk. If all of them could be like this, I would have no qualms about facing a producer at all.

This synopsis is just a draft. As I flesh out the story better, I know the whole story will get better, too, as I continue to work on it.

This was a wonderful and very happy 45 minutes.

TITLE: FALL OF THE HOUSE OF ANDERGROM

GENRE: COMEDY (GOTHIC)

LOGLINE: An old diary discovered hidden away in the bowels of a college library sets off a no holds barred college wide hunt-fest for the mystery writer who penned the macabre, but very funny (and popular!) stories within its pages.

SYNOPSIS:

When it comes to the macabre, Raven’s always been more than just an odd duck—writing stories that are just too weird for the normal, average—sane—brain. And her school nemeses, the mean girl twins, let her know it, torturing her with every nasty Halloween trick known to exist.

Raven, who also works for the college newspaper, messes up big time on a story. She’s given one chance to fix it or be relegated to the classifieds section.

And then, the mean twins get this idea. Why not steal Raven’s diary—and hide it from her? She’s always writing something in that stupid book. What’s so important about it anyway, really? Nothing, they say. So let’s do this!

The one twin knows of a place in the recesses of the school library where they can and do hide it from her. They follow the nerdy news reporter who has to go there to research a story he’s been assigned for Halloween and when he’s not looking, hide it.

The nerdy newshound accidentally finds the diary and all the wonderful stories inside it. The paper editor, loving stories, too, decides to publish them all under anonymous as a series.

Everyone loves them! Sparking off a massive “who dunnit it?” askfest. Which sparks another idea. Let’s have a contest to see who can find out who the mystery writer is.

The hunt is on! Until the twins, learning just how wonderful these stories they dissed really are, decide to take credit for writing them. But the news editor knows they didn’t write them. He and the nerdy reporter set out to prove they didn’t.

Raven, who also works as a she thinks not so great at it columnist for the school newspaper, is assigned to come up with the rules, etc. for the contest—using the stories to ferret out any clues there might be (in the tradition of Sherlock Holmes) to learn who wrote all those wonderful stories. Unbeknownst to her, the news editor, likes Raven and wants to give her a second chance. Hence, the assignment.

Too bad! Little do they know. She doesn’t want anyone to know she’s the writer! More importantly, she doesn’t want the mean girls to find out. She doesn’t want them to bully her anymore. And she tries every which way to keep it that way despite the fact she needs to get that contest up and running—or be relegated to soliciting ads for their classified section. Until she learns, she WANTS to be known as the writer, NOT THEM! And begins to accept how great her stories really are in everyone’s eyes including hers and the newspaper editor, who really knows what a good writer she can be.

[Frances Emerson]

Before I begin this assignment, I have to say, I started it with the Genre, Title and the Pitch/Logline only. I sent it to my friend who wants me to put her story into script. When she saw it, read it, She LOVED IT. So, I hope when I finish the assignent you will have a good laugh too. We are working on it together to make it a script. I’m treating her like a real producer as your classes are teaching us to do to get the experience.

[Frances Emerson]

PAID WRITING ASSIGNMENTS LESSON FIVE

FRAN’S COMEDY WRITING PLAN

WHAT I LEARED: Just what I’ve been learning in all these classes. Elevate, do your best, show your best. Take the extra mile to get it all right before you send it out.

SET UP:

Harlan Treadmore Cuppernell III is about to graduate from Burnside University. On his way to finish up with “taking” a final exam, handing in a term paper and finishing up his remaining classes before his big graduation party, he doesn’t know it, but he’s about to get the boom lowered on him.

EXT. BUSY CITY HIGHWAY – DAY

TOP DOWN. LOOKING GOOD. HARLAN TREADMORE CUPPERNELL III, COOP, (25) SPEEDS toward BURNSIDE UNIVERSITY in his brand new, shiny red, SPORTS CAR. A GRADUATION GIFT from his aunt and uncle.

PULLING INTO THE MAIN PARKING LOT, he PARKS–in the PRESIDENT’S RESERVED SPACE. HEADS for class.

INT. SCIENCE LAB – LATER

Students busy testing their experiments, Harlan’s busy blowing up his.

EXT. STUDENT PARK – DAY

BINOCULARS IN HAND, Harlan SPIES through the windows into the building next to the park. Art students are busy DRAWING, PAINTING, SCULPTING LIVE NUDES.

INT. COMPUTER LAB – LATER

Harlan “READIES” an ECONOMICS TERM PAPER to hand in …

HARLAN

Jasper. Write me a thirty page paper on the dynamics of Capitalism, according to Adam Smith’s Wealth of Nations–post Keynesian interpretation.

MOMENTS LATER: Paper’s written, printed out. He charges it to his student ID smart card. Takes off …

INT. CLASSROOM – LATER

… HANDING the paper to an awaiting PROFESSOR. LEAVES with a SATISFIED GRIN on his FACE.

INT. LECTURE HALL – LATER

At the board, a professor lectures as Harlan SNOOZES AWAY LISTENING to tunes on his IPAD.

EXT. SKIDMORE HALL, ENTRANCE – LATER

Students rush in as Harlan HANGS OUT by the ENTRANCE.

Old PROFESSOR JACOBS, COKE BOTTLE BOTTOMS FOR EYE GLASSES, ENTERS TOTING EXAM BOOKLETS.

ARNOLD ZIEGRIST, ZIGGY, (20’s) balding, Harlan’s BEST FRIEND, is LATE. Harlan HANDS him a WAD of BILLS, an altered ID CARD.

Ziggy ENTERS the BUILDING as Harlan SAUNTERS off in a different direction.

INT. OFFICE OF EDMUND RAPPLEJAY, ESQ. – LATER

EDMUND RAPPLEJAY, (50’s) lettered law partner of HARDGRAVE, CUPPERNELL, RAPPLEJAY AND TURNER ASSOCIATES–and Harlan’s UNCLE–READS A LETTER from Burnside’s DEAN OF STUDENTS.

His FACE TURNS a BRIGHT CRIMSON.

EDMUND

He’s WHAT?

INT. STUDENT UNION, MAILBOX AREA – LATER

SIFTING THROUGH HIS MAIL, letter by letter, Harlan CHUCKS each one into a nearby TRASH CAN. He STOPS. LINGERS over ONE, BREATHING IN its fragrant PERFUME. Then TOSSES that one into the trash can, too. His LETTER from the Dean of Students GOES IN NEXT as Ziggy ENTERS.

ZIGGY

Coop.

HARLAN

Hey, Ziggy. How’d I do on my test? Another A, I hope. You are coming to our little soiree tonight.

ZIGGY

Coop. I think they’re on to us.

HARLAN

No, they’re not.

ZIGGY

Seriously.

HARLAN

Six and a half years I’ve been doing this and haven’t been caught yet. So, why worry now when we’re almost graduated?

ZIGGY

That professor of yours.

HARLAN

Who? Jacobs? That old geezer?

ZIGGY

He was looking at me kind of funny during the test.

HARLAN

Oh, that. Everyone knows he has the eyesight of a bat.

ZIGGY

I’m telling ya, Coop. It gave me the creeps.

HARLAN

Well, you are kind of cute with those baby blue eyes. And that cute, little, pink, bald head of yours.

ZIGGY

Stop it, Coop! I mean it. We’re in some pretty deep doo doo if the university ever finds out.

HARLAN

Apparently, no one’s ever bothered to inform you. The old man’s gay.–They’re not going to find out.

ZIGGY

Be serious for once.

HARLAN

You know, Zig. You worry just a little too much for my comfort. Those bozos couldn’t catch a cold if their ivory towers depended upon it.

ZIGGY

Easy for you to say. You’ve got your old man’s inheritance to fall back on.

HARLAN

What about your parents? They have all the right connections.

ZIGGY

I’m tellin’ ya, Harlan. We’re screwed.

HARLAN

Maybe this will shut you up!

Harlan SLAPS A HEADLOCK on Ziggy. DRAGS him out of the Student Union.

ZIGGY

You’re choking me!

HARLAN

Repeat after me. We’re not going to get caught. And don’t call me Harlan.

EXT. RAPPLEJAY MANSION, PARKING LOT – EVENING

COLLEGE SENIOR BLAST. Well underway. Harlan, Ziggy, DRESSED to the nines, ARRIVE fashionably late. Harlan PULLS in. He promptly DAMAGES a parked VINTAGE ANTIQUE CAR.

HARLAN

Oops!

GETS OUT, CHECKS the DAMAGE, PULLS OUT a CREDIT CARD. STICKS it UNDER the driver’s WINDSHIELD WIPER.

HARLAN

There. That oughta do it.

ZIGGY

You’re actually going to leave a credit card on the windshield.

HARLAN

Not to worry, my homie. Uncle Ed’ll take care of it. Besides, the card’s already maxxed out.

PARKING VALET APPROACHES. Harlan THROWS him his KEYS, HANDS him a TIP.

HARLAN

Take good care of her, my man.

VALET

Thank you, Sir.

DISCOVERING a RELIGIOUS CARD in his hand, Valet FUMES, as Harlan, Ziggy CLIMB the steps to the MAIN HOUSE.

Harlan GOOSES an attractive Co-ED WALKING AHEAD of them. She YELPS, SLAPS Ziggy in the FACE, STOMPS off.

HARLAN

Boy! That was sure some right hook she gave you.

Making sure his jaw’s still in place.

ZIGGY

The things I go through for you.

They CONTINUE ON their way …

INT. RAPPLEJAY MANSION, RECEIVING ROOM

MIRANDA RAPPLEJAY (50’s), Harlan’s aunt, CHATS with GUESTS.

Though surrounded by WEALTH, ANTIQUES, FINERY, she doesn’t flaunt her good fortune. A genteel woman of means, she carries a pleasant, matronly countenance about her.

Harlan, Ziggy ENTER. An attractive, well-endowed COCKTAIL SERVER, TINA, (20’s) approaches with a TRAY of DRINKS.

TINA

Champagne?

They TAKE a GLASS. Harlan REACHES INTO a pocket. PULLS OUT a shiny new PENNY. PLUCKS IT DOWN on the tray.

Insulted, Tina SAUNTERS off toward other guests.

TINA

Up yours.

HARLAN

Oh, I do hope so, darlin’. And long before this night’s over.

Knockout REDHEAD, ALEXIS PENDLETON, (20’s) ogles the wealth surrounding her, and jealously EYES NEELEY DOWNS (20’s) in an adjoining room SETTING TABLES.

She spots Harlan and Ziggy talking to some guests. She gives him a thorough once over.

ALEXIS

If this mansion is any indication of what that man has in his bank account … He just might be worth the time and effort …

A MALE GUEST APPROACHES her from behind. Amorously WRAPS his ARMS around her.

MALE GUEST

And just where have you been all my life, gorgeous?

ALEXIS

Plotting your murder if you don’t get your grimy, filthy, ugly little paws off of me.

MALE GUEST

Me-OW!

Male Guest BACKS OFF, LEAVES.

ALEXIS

Jerk.

DISCOVERING he’s MADE a tiny red MARK on her arm, an IDEA suddenly pops into Alexis’ head. She HEADS for the KITCHEN.

Harlan, Ziggy FIND THEIR WAY to the HORS D’OEUVRES TABLES.

ZIGGY

Harlan. That was embarrassing.

HARLAN

Can you please stop calling me Harlan?

ZIGGY

I’m pretty mad at you right now.

HARLAN

Ah, you’ll get over it. You always do. Don’t you know anything about the restaurant business?

ZIGGY

I think I know a little something. I majored in Hotel and Restaurant Management before I switched to Bank Management.

HARLAN

FYI, Mr. Ziegrist. A penny means excellent service. It’s a compliment.

ZIGGY

Really? You could have fooled me by the look on that server’s face.

HARLAN

Besides. Why should I be leaving a tip when Uncle Ed and Aunt Miranda are footing the entire bill? These guys are making money hand over fist from us tonight.

ZIGGY

You really think these people are making a lot of money from this little get together.

HARLAN

Of course, I do. I’m a Business major.

Another–GORGEOUS–COCKTAIL SERVER SASHAYS by.

Harlan’s EYES POPPING OUT, they FOLLOW EACH SEDUCTIVE MOVE of her VOLUPTUOUS BODY until she DISAPPEARS.

HARLAN

I wonder. Just how many shares I should buy of Victoria’s Secret?–

ZIGGY

I thought Victoria’s Secret went out of business.

HARLAN

Rumors. You know, Zig. I’m starting to think this is going to turn into an evening of epic proportions before the night’s over.–If you get my drift.

Harlan takes off in pursuit of the cocktail waitress. Ziggy FOLLOWS him like an obedient, little PUPPY.

INT. RAPPLEJAY MANSION, DINING HALL – MUCH LATER

Miranda, Edmund sit at their table entertaining a number of Burnside’s BOARD MEMBERS.

Dinner’s been SERVED. Neeley POURS Miranda COFFEE.

MIRANDA

Thank you, Neeley.

NEELEY

You’re welcome, Mrs. Rapplejay.

MIRANDA

Has Jack prepared the bill?

NEELEY

I’ll go find out.

Neeley HEADS to the KITCHEN. Edmund LIGHTS UP a CIGAR.

EDMUND

Everything’s been arranged.

Miranda EYES Harlan at another table having the time of his life with his college buds.

MIRANDA

You’re sure it’ll work.

EDMUND

The boy needs a firm hand, Miranda. He’s been needing one for quite some time. At this stage our only answer, I’m afraid, is tough love.

MIRANDA

Just look at him, Edmund. You’d think he was raised in a barn.

EDMUND

Last week it was a pack of wolves, wasn’t it?

MIRANDA

How can you be so flippant at a time like this?

EDMUND

Well, he is your late brother’s only son.

MIRANDA

And your nephew.

EDMUND

Don’t remind me.

HARLAN’S TABLE.

HARLAN

And then she said, is there anything else I can do for you? And I said, what exactly did you have in mind?

Harlan RAISES his glass midst raucous LAUGHTER.

HARLAN

Drink up, me hearties. The night’s just begun.

Neeley EMERGES from the KITCHEN, DELIVERS the BILL to Miranda and Edmund. HEADS for Harlan’s TABLE.

Through the bottom of his emptied GLASS, Harlan SPOTS Neeley. He’s instantly ATTRACTED to her.

Friends NOTICE her, too.

MALE FRIEND #1

Wow. Speaking of hot dates. This one looks pretty desperate. A hundred bucks says she’s a virgin.

MALE FRIEND #2

You’re on.

DOLLAR BILLS FLY onto the table.

MALE FRIEND #3

I’ll take that bet. Only I’m betting she’s just the opposite.

HARLAN

Easy enough to find out. Here she comes.

NEELEY

Gentlemen.

Neeley begins CLEARING DISHES.

MALE FRIEND #1

(whispers to Harlan)

Looks like you’re on, Romeo.

HARLAN

Watch and learn from the meister.

Harlan seductively LEANS into Neeley as she clears his dishes.

HARLAN

I have a friend, here, who thinks you’re drop dead gorgeous. Although, I really don’t see it myself. But then, you’re not really my type. I’m really asking for him. He’s kind of shy. What time do you get off work tonight–babe?

OOHS and AWWS WAFT through the air.

NEELEY

Who wants to know–Mr. Cuppernell, is it?

MALE FRIEND #1

OOOH! Ouch!

HARLAN

So. You know my name. Well, I do seem to have that effect on women–wanting to get to know me as soon as humanly possible. They want to know who that gorgeous hunk of man is that just walked into their life.

NEELEY

I already have a date. But thank you for asking.

More oohs, awws.

HARLAN

I’ll just bet you do.

(to his friends)

She’s just playing hard to get. Maybe she’s got a sister who’s available this evening.

NEELEY

She wouldn’t give you the time of day either, if I had one.

HARLAN

Come on, now. You know you’re attracted to me.

NEELEY

Like electricity is to water?

MALE FRIEND #2

(aside to Male Guest)

This one’s a keeper.

MALE GUEST

Sounds like the one I encountered earlier–that redheaded waitress over there.

Male Friend #2 looks over at Alexis CLEARING a table, SWOONS.

MALE FRIEND #2

Hootchie Mama! That?

MALE GUEST

Only, this one’s a whole lot nicer.

NEELEY

(overhearing)

Alexis can be a pain. But then I can’t fault her for having such–good taste.

MALE GUEST

Alexis. The name certainly fits.

HARLAN

Okay. Okay. I got it. No foreplay while you’re on duty. Maybe later, after our date tonight?

NEELEY

As I told you, Mr. Cuppernell. I already have a date. And I usually don’t date my customers.

HARLAN

So, then. Why don’t you loosen up a bit and tell us what’s for dessert. Maybe then we can discuss the details of our little rendezvous later on, when we’re alone.

NEELEY

Dessert for this evening, gentlemen, is Mokka Rum Cake. Served with crushed nuts. I have no idea where you’ll be heading later, Mr. Cuppernell, but I’ll be going home to my little boy after work.–Oh, wait. Maybe I do. Absolutely nowhere with me. Now. If you will excuse me. Gentlemen. I have other guests to attend to.

Neeley strolls away. Ziggy TURNS RED with embarrassment as Harlan’s friends HOWL with laughter.

MALE GUEST

Did I just feel a cold chill enter the room?

MALE FRIEND #1

So much for the meister. Who just got his Mokka Rum nuts crushed.

Oooh! Ouch! Laughter.

HARLAN

(embarrassed)

Obviously, she nuts about me.

More RAUCOUS LAUGHTER as Friend #3 SCRAPES his WINNINGS off the TABLE.

MALE FRIEND #3

Thank you very much, gentlemen. Coop.

HARLAN

Not a problem.

[Frances Emerson]

PAID WRITING ASSIGNMENTS LESSON FOUR

FRAN’S KEY BUSINESS DECISIONS

WHAT I LEARNED: This one is going to take some thinking because this is a story that needs to be told on the river and on two steamboats. With a LOT of people who were involved in this enterprise. A lot of cameos. This would take TEAMWORK from all of us to get it done.

GENRE: HISTORICAL FICTION/DRAMA

TITLE: THE GREAT STEAMBOAT RACE BETWEEN THE NATCHEZ AND THE ROBERT E. LEE (HISTORY TITLE)

CONCEPT: His heart torn by the loss of his fiancé, can a young, untested newspaper reporter find love again when he’s assigned to cover the “race of the century” aboard the celebrated steamer the Robert E. Lee?

AUDIENCE: MEN 25 AND ABOVE THEY LOVE RACES, WOMEN 25 AND ABOVE THEY LOVE A GOOD LOVE STORY

BUDGET: BLOCKBUSTER 50+ MILLION (IN THE LINE OF LORD OF THE RINGS)

LEAD CHARACTERS:

CAPTAIN JOHN W. CANNON, CAPTAIN OF THE ROBERT E. LEE

CAPTAIN THOMAS P. LEATHERS, CAPTAIN OF THE NATCHEZ VI

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP, NEWS REPORTER FOR THE MISSOURI REPUBLICAN

FRANCES SHACKELFORD, CHARLES’ LOVE INTEREST

JOHN C. KAY, SUPPORTING, NEWS REPORTER FOR THE MISSOURI REPUBLICAN ON THE NATCHEZ VI

JOURNEY/CHARACTER ARC FOR CHARLES:

1. Script starts out with a funeral. We actually meet Charles at the very end. We meet his daughter. But we don’t meet the wife. She is ill. We are introduced to the biggest story of Charles’ lifetime. His first. And we …

2. Slide right into the great steamboat race, 1870, in New Orleans where it began.

3. Charles narrates the story. Along with his partner who’s on the Natchez, John Kay. He begins the story as a narrative. We are introduced to the young Charles as he heads for New Orleans on a train. We flashback to the newspaper offices where Charles gets the assignment and grudgingly accepts. We also learn of his heartache. His lost fiancé.

4. We are also introduced to the captains of the steamers, John Cannon and Thomas Leathers and to their respective steamers, the Robert E. Lee and the Natchez.

5. CHARLES JOURNEY BEGINS with the call to adventure and his denial of the calling.

6. He crosses the threshold when he takes the train to New Orleans and heads for the Robert E. Lee. AND he meets his future wife there: Frances Shackelford, who is his dead fiance’s cousin. She is in love with him, but he isn’t ready to love again. And he’s already declared that to his editor and mentor Judge Dacus.

7. Frances is determined to win Charles for herself, now that he is free to love again. So, she plots to stow away on board the Robert E. Lee to try to woo him. But she gets caught and rather quickly.

8. Obstacle One. Charles learns of her little trick and has to deal with it with Captain Cannon as the race gets underway. She tries to be very coy, discreet about her being there, but she can’t help herself. She wrangles a kind of date out of Charles before she has to get of the steamer in the morning at Natchez City.

9. Meanwhile, another obstacle crops up that sets Charles on edge: a very handsome rival: Albert Eberman, the “perfect” man to have as a suitor, at least everyone thinks. But Albert is less than an honorable man as he begins to wheedle his way into Frances’s affections and carry on an affair on the side with an older, monied woman.

10. Another obstacle for Charles to deal with later, Frances’ father, who is not a fan of Charles or his father. Richard is not happy Frances has stolen away on the Robert E. Lee and vows to end the two’s friendship once and for all.

11. As Albert works his charms, Charles finds himself a bit put off by the scoundrel and tries to warn Frances he is not the right man for her. Though she intends to make Charles a bit jealous, she does become a bit confused with Albert’s advances towards her.

12. By the time Charles has to leave the steamer for a short while for newspaper business, he finds himself very taken back, jealous even of Albert’s sudden and unexpected proposal of marriage, which Charles can’t do anything about at the moment. He’s off the steamer. They’re still on it and the Robert E. Lee is trundling away toward the north again.

13. Charles gets his business done early and returns to the Lee via a train in Cairo where he encounters Richard trying to get to his daughter. Richard is a bully of sorts and calls Charles a weakling—and tells him to grow a spine. Charles and he finally decide to pair up to rescue Frances from the scoundrel once they’re on board the Lee.

14. Albert, in the meantime, continues his little side affair. Frances finds out about it. Cannon, also knowing what Albert is up to, helps her meet the woman. Albert is not pleased and informs Frances of his displeasure, rather harshly.

15. Charles and Richard learn of Albert’s mishandling of Frances and Charles confronts the man. Not Mr. Wimpy anymore. He demonstrates to Albert, rather abruptly, he is never to see Frances again, or ever hurt her. And so does Richard. And then Charles, as he talks to Frances again, tells her she is never to see him again, or marry him, which pleases Frances greatly.

16. But the race is far from over and there is another crisis brewing. There is a dense fog settling in. Neither steamer can navigate. But the captains will not give up for a long time, until Leathers finally realizes he can’t go on any further and ties up to wait it out. But Cannon’s men refuse to give up. Charles volunteers to help the men get the steamer through to Grand Tower. And with Charles’ eagle eyes, the men, working as a team, Charles with them, gets the Robert E. Lee through to Grand Tower, where the fog suddenly lets up long enough for them to trundle on to St. Louis. Charles learns the value of teamwork and being a leader who has a lot of trust in his crew.

17. The Robert E. Lee wins the race. And Charles and Frances swear their vows of love as they trundle into St. Louis.

18. There is a huge celebration for the winning Captain and I’m thinking of ending the story with a scene of a wedding, Charles and Frances’. A happily ever after for them. And Cannon.

OPENING/ENDING: the hook is the very end of Charles’ life and the ending is the beginning of

Charles and Frances’ life together as husband and wife and as the great newspaperman he eventually comes to be.

THE RACE PITFALLS, PROBLEMS AND LIVES OF THE CAPTAINS FOLLOW WHAT REALLY HAPPENED IN THE THREE AND OND HALF DAYS THEY RACED ON THE MISSISSIPPI. LOTS OF FIREWORKS FOR THE AUDIENCE, PROBLEMS, along with a few laughs—thanks to Mr. Kay’s reporting.

T he problems arise with the history of the actual race. There are tons of people gathered to witness the race along the Mississippi. The men and women are dressed in lavish clothing. There are a ton of steamboats gathered as well.

So many people that took part.

What I could suggest there. Some of the locations on the Mississippi River could happen in the same area as they head north.

The clothing: perhaps instead of the crowds having ther clothes made, they could be rented.

Maybe CGI some of the crowds like they did in the movie TROY.

Steamer scenes could actually be the same sets with difference decorations.

The Lee is bare bones, stripped down to almost nothing, whereas te Natchez is fully clothed and decorated the day she came out of the shipyard.

I want the three main characters to be top stars if that is possible. The others can be unknowns or little knowns.

I’m already trying to write the minimal in my scenes. I could discuss further cropping with the producer to see how he/she would do this on such a large scale story.

I don’t know what else I can suggest right now until I’ve talked with the producer. I would have him read the story of the race to find out what could be done.

[Frances Emerson]

PAID WRITING ASSIGNMENTS LESSON THREE

WHAT I LEARNED: Conventions of Comedy blog.brighton.ac.uk 1. Awkward situations 2. Places to screw-up before a lot of people. 3. Lots of locations well lit 4. Characters: 5. stereotypes can be offensive, 6. Opposites in duos, 7. one is a joke, 8. Quirky relationship, can be an outcast, outside the box thinker, 9, Naturalistic shots, all equal in the story 10. Props, good for running jokes 11. Take a normal situation and turn it into a screw-up, etc. 12. Plays on words, playing off other character(s), weird situations, 13. Lighthearted music.

Great vehicle for top actors who want to do comedy.

For this class I’m choosing COMEDY

My two Movies:

TITLE: Sleepless in Seattle

GENRE: Comedy

HOW IT DELIVERS:

Every single convention is hit, on target. The 4-Act or 9-Act structures is honored. Both lead characters have their own journeys—to converge at the end.

There are some grating, sexist lines we can boo at. We empathize with the man, Sam, who lost his wife. And his son, Jonah, who wants to find a new mom. And we want to see the woman, Annie, who is engaged to another man—who is not so dynamic or a good match for her, find love with this other man, Sam who is a great match for her. The perfect rom-com.

1. Lots of locations, well-lit and full of people the characters can screw up in front of. The hook, or beginning scene starts out in a cemetery. They move from newspaper headquarters, to airport, to gala ballroom, to Seattle by the sea. To New York City. All sorts of odd places for the characters.

2. Almost every scene is an awkward situation: the family gathering, the big party, the phone call with the on air Doctor, dates, trying to hide she’s being a talk show junkie with her obsession with Jonah’s Sleepless in Seattle calls. How they meet and the scenes after.

3. Quirky characters just looking for places to look stupid in or screw up.

4. Opposites trying to be matches.

5. The two sexist guys who work at the paper.

6. Annie trying to be a normal person, girlfriend. She’s just a joke the way she’s falling all over this talk show story. It’s like an obsession as she finds out how much she and Sam match up.

7. Everything looks natural, well lit, like the way normal people go through in life.

8. She’s trying to chase after the story, pretending she’s writing it for her paper. She really wants to find Sam and hook up with him to see if they really do match.

9. The kid is insistent, and does the normal kid stuff we all have experienced

10. The father tries to make it all normal for him and his son, tries to find someone he can love.

11. A quirky meet cute. Sam spots Annie at the airport.

12. Playing off each other, play on words-conversation.

13. Lighthearted music as background.

14. She winds up “stalking” Sam and Jonah to learn about them. And then she asks her friend-Boss if she’s doing the right thing.

15. A second meet cute where they finally speak to each other.

16. Another screw up in the meeting.

17. More mistakes or misinformation or misreading the information. Not getting the clues right.

18. Sister is more than quirky. Her husband a blubbering sap.

19. There is a set up meeting, the goal to get them to New York to meet on Valentine’s Day. The son takes it upon himself to meet her and get her together with his dad.

20. There is a subtle change in the way Sam thinks/feels about finding a new wife. Someone to love. Sam and Jonah have an argument over Annie and the women he’s dating.

21. Jonah takes off to New York. He buys a ticket to meet up with Annie.

22. Finally, Sam has to go to New York to get his son. He and Annie finally meet and finally get together.

If this weren’t a major motion picture, this would be the perfect Hallmark movie.

This next movie that is SO overlooked. I had to put this in my assignment: Oscar. This is the best comedy I’ve ever seen. I watch it over and over again. The timing is superb, the writing is superb. Sylvester Stallone is at his best.

TITLE: OSCAR

GENRE: COMEDY

HOW IT DELIVERS: This movie is almost slapstick comedy. There’s a laugh in every line. It’s an all-star cast. And those who are usually dramatic actors pull it off with the greatest finesse.

The movie starts off with the Mr. “Snaps” Provalone, a rich mob boss in the 30’s, (even the names are funny) making a promise to his dying father (played by Kirk Douglas) that he’ll go straight. And he tries like heck to go straight. But the cops and his rival gangs aren’t making it easy. Not to mention his crooked accountant, his daughter, his wife and the woman who is supposed to marry his accountant—she has lied to Anthony, telling him Snaps is her father. She doesn’t think so, but it turns out in the end he really is.

EVERY character is a scream, a screw-up, more than quirky. Dr. Poole, the Irish maid who’s quitting to marry the son of a rival boss. The cops, their Sergeant, and the men who work for Snaps.

I recommend this highly if you want to write superb comedy. The timing is just outstanding.

It even has Harry Scherer who plays one of the tailor brothers.

There aren’t that many locations. It mostly takes place in the Provalone mansion. But there’s a gag at the end of every line, the set up and the pay-off. The double wedding at the end—and Oscar finally showing up. And Snaps’ failure to honor his promise to his dad. It just couldn’t be done. So back he goes to being a mob boss. And that makes it a happily ever after.

There’s a bright opera aria in the beginning, a piano trio and boogie dance steps in the middle. Everything is lighthearted and a romp.

The running joke is the best part. Watch the leather bag at all times! Priceless.

And the one cliché that just adds to it no matter the cliché of it. The emptying of Connie’s pockets of all the weapons he’s carrying. I still laugh at that.

[Frances Emerson]

I want to get ahead of the assignments. So, I want to partner up with someone who is either a comedy or a history/historical fiction drama writer. If anyone would like to partner up with me you can reach me at emersofe@yahoo.com. Thanks and I look forward to meeting you. Fran

[Frances Emerson]

PAID WRITING ASSIGNMENTS ALUMNA

LESSON TWO

What I Learned: Well. Looks like I have a lot of work to do on my credibility list. And just keep writing, elevating as I go.

1. Recommend from Coverage

I’ve worked with Audra Kelly, producer for Cowboy’s Sweetheart Films

Noah, producer/filmmaker

Writing sample. The Great Steamboat Race Between the Natchez and the Robert E. Lee Part One Any 10 pages.

Also, Hash House (comedy) any 10 pages

2. I’m a third Runner-up for the Seven Rays Scene Writing Contest

Published several articles in local newspapers and magazines,

3. I googled my name. I see my photo in a mix of other photos. I see my facebook page and my work experience as a Docent for the Ingersoll Museum. I also see a page on Imdbpro.com for me that needs to be filled. Many of the other listings with my name are not me.

4. My Network: LinkedIn: Shows my work experience as a school teacher and administrator for my community college. I am linked with maybe six producers and several actors and actresses. Actually, I have six connections. Two are friends, one is a producer, one is rather famous in his own right: he is a casting director and has made his own film shorts.

5. My degree in screenwriting: I have taken several online classes with UCLA and ScreenwritingU.com with Hal Croasmun, including his ProSeries class, some Masterclasses—one with Alan Sorkin. I am an alumna of the ProSeries.

6. Borrowed credibility: My up and coming filmmaker/producer friend likes my work. He has worked with Jesse Eisenberg and is now working on another movie starring Ashley Benson. I wrote a treatment last year for producer Audra Kelly, but she has been busy and not said she wants to further that idea yet. Noah is my connection to stars, plus some of them grew up in the area where I live, so I have kind of a connection with some stars as a substitute teacher in the area schools. Christopher McDonald, Lauren Holly, Travie McCoy to name three.

7. No IMDB Credits yet. Only a page.

8. Other credibility: tenuous work on learning loglines and synopsis writing with Saxon Moen, who’s worked with Bong Joon Ho on Snowpiercer. I have college affiliates with Heather Kelly who worked for CBS. Ken Chambers who worked for ABC. And Fred Lyle, who was a producer on Miami Vice and Nash Bridges. I have a tiny bit of producing experience with Craig Campobosso. I helped finance his film short Stranger at the Pentagon. We’ve been internet friends since.

I definitely need to finish my LinkedIn profile and put that up. Put my finished script up on Inktip.com for consideration. I need to start connecting with producers. And needle Noah a bit more. He is looking at more of my work, but he’s been busy with his new movie. I think he’s coming home next week. I’ll try to connect with him then.

[Frances Emerson]

Hi everyone:

Better late than never. Working on three classes and trying to finish my latest one from Hal.

I guess what I learned from the first video: you showed me a way I can get to the studios I eventually want to work with. I just have to be patient and do the work. Building my credibility is the way to do that and going through the network and setting myself up for succes by seeking out the producers who will give me a chance. Your credibility, your writing sample, your area of expertise. They’re all what YOU make them!

I guess my two projects. I want to make my steamboat race script a reality. I only have 30 pages left to write of the three part script. This was a long haul and all I have to do is write the triumphant entry into St. Louis and the celebration scenes. I’m currently elevating the part two of the script. I needed help in getting the love story up to snuff. Hence the romance class I’m taking from Autocrit. lt’s really great. And you guys should look into their classes. They have some great ones for horror, fantasy, history, and romance, etc. Also, Stage 32 offered a couple of classes I’m taking for my genres to elevate my undertstanding of the them: history and comedy. So, that’s the “finished script” I bring to the class.

My idea. A friend of mine who writes screw ball, mind bending stuff wants me to put her ideas into a script. I told her I’d try. She has a producer cousin she wants to submit it to when it’s done. So, I guess this is it! That’s my script idea. She calls it the Zandergroms. Already it’s scary funny.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  Frances Emerson.

[Frances Emerson]

As always. I agree. Thanks! Frances Emerson

[Frances Emerson]

Hello, I’m Frances Emerson. I’m a screenwriter, having taken several of Hal’s classes including the Proseries. I’m looking to get assignments, preferably for book adaptations, history and/or comedy. I’m currently trying to improve my understanding of the genres I’ve chosen. I’m already a certified Social Studies teacher in NY and my Bachelor’s degree is in history. I’m a trained researcher. I would love to get paid writing assignments in addition to finishing up the screenplays I’m working on and selling them. I am currently trying to finish up my three part Steamboat race script(s). I have a completed comedy and I want to finish my Blackbeard’s Treasure script I started under another class for Hal. I have two more I want to get back to as well. Plus, for my idea, I have a friend who wants me to put her idea in to a script, which I am considering. Thanks. And I look forward to meeting all of you at some point.

[Frances Emerson]

Is there anyone who would like to exchange with me? I want to look at my query letter one more time before I submit. my email address to use is emersofe@yahoo.com. Thanks.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE TEN LESSON 10

FRAN’S TARGET MARKET

WHAT I LEARNED: I think I found a producer who I can send a letter to that works or worked for the company I want to get my Steamboat script to. I found her under the GIFTED movie! And I think I can get the script noticed through her to get it to Ron Howard!!!!! There are a few others who also might work. I got a couple of surprises when I clicked on them just to see if there would be any information. YES!!!! One was Brad Pitt and he had the producer info needed for the assignment. And also Ben Stiller. He would be an awesome producer to get. I love his movies. I loved his Walter Mitty one. I watch it whenever I get the urge to.

I counted 60 producers I found that I saved.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE TEN LESSON NINE

FRAN’S PHONE PITCH

WHAT I LEARNED: My dream would be to have Ron Howard do this script. But I Know I can’t get anywhere near this filmmaker. So, as much as I hate phones, I would try to call, at least, some of the companies I think would bite (or kill) to do this story. I’ve been working on it for a very long time. It’s almost finished. I’m doing what your classes suggest to give it the best chance possible out there.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

Hi. My name is Frances Emerson. I’ve been a student of several UCLA screenwriting classes and am an alumna of the ScreenwritingU.com PROseries with Hal Croasmun. I’m also a published writer and a certified public school teacher (Social Studies) who’s written an historical drama on THE GREAT STEAMBOAT RACE BETWEEN THE NATCHEZ AND THE ROBERT E. LEE.

The story, to my knowledge, has never been put on film. And I’ve intertwined it with a love story between the famous newspaper reporter, Charles Welbourne Knapp, who, according to my family source, was on the Lee at the time reporting the story, and his future wife, Frances Shackelford.

My mega story, a three-parter because of the three and one half days it took to race the steamers, and because of the mega stars I would love to see in the roles: Liam Neeson as John Cannon, Mel Gibson as Thomas Leathers, and Tom Holland as Charles Welbourne Knapp, it would be in the high budget range.

Of course, we all know the winner of the race was The Robert E. Lee, but the fun part we don’t know is what really happened on the steamers in those three and one half days: a near disaster with a failing boiler, a major water pipe leak, one steamer getting caught in a sandbar and almost not being able to wrangle free of it, and then a major, freakish fog in the gauntlet known as Devil’s Country that almost ended the race for both captains.

As for the love story, Charles wins the hand of his fair maiden from his handsome rival, Albert. There is a PHOTO FINISH. And a huge celebration as the Lee trundles into St. Louis. Along with a huge celebration dinner later for Captain Cannon. We also get to meet, General Robert E. Lee’s daughter, Mary.

I have a friend, a filmmaker who’s worked with celebrities like Jesse Eisenberg, who loves this story and has been encouraging me to finish it and shop it around. I called your company because I feel yours is the best to tell the story of the race, having done several historical pieces already.

I would be honored to send you a copy of my script. You can reach me at emersofe@yahoo.com. Thank you for your time and consideration.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE TEN LESSON EIGHT

FRAN’S PITCH FEST PITCH

WHAT I LEARNED: Trying to keep it down to 5 minute or less. I divided up the info as if I put them on 3 by 5 cards to help me get them down to a minimum.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

BIO/INTRO:

Hi. I’m Frances Emerson. I’m a certified History teacher. A published writer of several magazine and newspaper articles. And I’m a third runner up in the Seven Rays Scene writing Contest. I’ve taken several online screenwriting classes from UCLA and ScreenwritingU.com, including their Pro-Series and advanced alumni classes.

TITLE/GENRE:

My script is an historical fiction/drama based on the true story “The Great Steamboat Race Between the Natchez and the Robert E. Lee.”

HOOK:

Young, untested Charles Welbourne Knapp, his heart broken by the death of this fiancé, is sent on assignment by his father to write the story of the century on the ‘race of the century’ for their newspaper, the Missouri Republican.

Only to find himself in the throes of falling in love again with his dead fiance’s cousin, facing a handsome rival– a man with ulterior motives in winning Frances’ hand for himself, and helping John Cannon, captain of the Robert E. Lee, to win the race and title “king of the Mississippi River.”

In this process I would carry the pictures of the real captains and Charles with me in case they ask questions about the story, the real people and why I wrote this story. And also, who would be great actors for the parts.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE TEN LESSON SEVEN

FRAN’S QUERY LETTER

WHAT I LEARNED: I heard a couple of weeks ago Chuck Lorre was looking for a restaurant comedy script. He’s the producer of several successful sitcoms on TV and I jumped at the chance to send out a query letter to him because I HAD one and I worked my heart out upgrading, updating and making sure no typos or anything else stray was in the script. I took my lessons from a previous class and wrote my heart out. I haven’t heard anything yet, but I hope this is the letter that will get his attention. I use it here for this lesson.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

GENRE: COMEDY

TITLE: HASH HOUSE

What could be worse than actually going to work for a living?

That’s what Harlan Treadmore Cuppernell III discovers in a big way when he’s sent packing into the work a day world without any visible means of support to lean on. Except, of course, for his best friend, Ziggy.

Having shirked his way through his college years, and his adult responsibilities, Harlan finally finds himself kicked out of college, out of his aunt and uncle’s good graces—and mansion—with very few “lucrative” job prospects to fall back on—or the trust fund left to him by his late father.

Harlan also learns he’s the victim of tough love when he has to go to work at his aunt’s restaurant to survive. (Little does he know, one day, the restaurant will be his to own and operate.)

When he finally gets there, he finds the restaurant is more than in dire straits. It’s under siege by a gorgeous, corporate climbing redhead who’s out to “bring home the bacon” as the new owner and operator of Le Bon Mangez. And later as Harlan’s wife (after learning just how rich the man will be one day.) As she tries to blame it all on the woman Harlan will find himself falling in love within the course of learning the restaurant business.

I am a student of screenwriting, having taken several classes online from UCLA, enrichment classes online from ScreenwitingU and several Masterclasses. I am a third runner-up in the Seven Rays Scene Writing Contest. I have several articles published in local newspapers and magazines, some having to do with local history and current events, including an interview with Nick Sagan, science fiction scriptwriter and son of Dr. Carl Sagan. And I am a certified (History and Mathematics) New York public school teacher, retired. But most importantly, I worked in the restaurant business for years observing the monkey business that goes on behind the in/out doors!

I heard you were looking for a script about a restaurant. I would be honored to send Hash House to you for your consideration.

Thank you in advance.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE TEN LESSON SIX ASSIGNMENT

FRAN’S HIGH CONCEPT/ELEVATOR PITCH

WHAT I LEARNED: I’m really learning the art of writing loglines here, and not just high concept or elevator pitches. I’ve come a long way from my first attempts.

The high concept sound smoother, better. I’ll keep working on them.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

HIGH CONCEPT:

A young, conventional, news reporter is sent to write a story for his father’s paper on the ‘race of the century’ between the Natchez and the Robert E. Lee. What he didn’t expect was to fall in love again with the woman he least expected: his dead fiance’s more than free-spirited cousin.

ELEVATOR PITCH:

Sent to report on a decades long grudge match between the captains of the Natchez and the Robert E. Lee, a young, conventional news reporter finds himself falling in love again with the woman he least expected: his dead fiance’s–more than free-spirited–cousin.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE TEN LESSON FIVE

FRAN’S SYNOPSIS HOOKS

WHAT I LEARNED: I did this for another class. This is my second attempt. This is a really hard story to get across in only a half of a page. But it looks like I may have accomplished it. And it really speaks to my two components that I think will sell the story: the unique characters that will attract bankable stars. It is a true story and real-life people I base my story on. I emphasized my characters in this draft. I hope it works.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

Quote: “I will not stop to discuss the cause which led to this gloriously exciting and wonderful event. I will merely say that for some months now a spirit of rivalry has existed between the two captains of the boats that soon will be racing. And between the cities in which the contracts for their building were fulfilled. Everyone, it seems, has come to New Orleans today to celebrate the ‘race of the century.’”

Charles Welbourne Knapp, The Missouri Republican, 1870

My Components:

True Story

Emotional dilemma/love story

Unique — steamboat race in 1870

Unique characters

Bankable stars

Great Title

TITLE: THE GREAT RACE BETWEEN THE NATCHEZ AND THE ROBERT E. LEE

GENRE: HISTORICAL FICTION

When Charles is assigned to write the story of the race for his father’s paper, he had already lost his fiancé to a terrible illness. He was not ready for the assignment, nor to fall in love again. But, the story of the rivalry between the two greatest steamboat captains who ever trundled the Mississippi couldn’t wait for his heart to heal. So, off to New Orleans Charles went—and into a whirlwind romance that would capture—and heal–his broken heart.

In the three and one half days, 1200 mile race up the Mississippi River from New Orleans to St. Louis, the two captains, who hated each other’s guts, encounter several major problems: a water pipe break, a boiler ready to explode, death defying feats of daring, being wedged in a sandbar and almost unable to get out. They also trundle through a gauntlet so filled with jagged rocks, felled brush, low water levels, islands and wrecked steamships lying at the bottom of the river (Devil’s Country) only to end up in a dense fog so thick no ships could sail through it. But, one captain does find a way to continue on to the race’s end—and win.

What Charles finds he has to deal with on board the Lee: a handsome rival, a war hero, a cavalryman, and the son of a wealthy shipbuilder. The kind of potential son-in-law any father would be proud to welcome into his family. A Mr. Albert Eberman. A man, Charles all too soon discovers, as Albert wines and dines Frances Shackelford, the object of his affection, he is not the kind of suitor fit for any young woman of any means. In his fight to save Frances from this man, he discovers he’s fallen in love with her and wants her for himself.

As the Lee trundles into St. Louis harbor–the victor of the race–the two lovers speak their vows of love followed by a kiss and a proposal of marriage.

It’s a celebration the whole of St. Louis turns out for.

We are also introduced to the daughter of General Robert. E. Lee.

In this three-part series you will meet the real captains of the rival steamers: Captain Thomas P. Leathers of the Natchez VI, and Captain John W. Cannon of the Robert E. Lee. The real-life Mr. and Mrs. Charles Welbourne Knapp, Mr. Albert Eberman, a real-life war hero. And Mr. John C. Kay, an expert in steamboat racing, and also the real-life reporter for the Missouri Republican who shared the by-line with Charles–on the Natchez.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE TEN LESSON FOUR

FRAN’S 10 MOST INTERESTING THINGS

WHAT I LEARNED: This took some thought, having to go through the script almost scene by scene in my head to come up with something that the producer would find interesting. But there were a few in there that still made me smile as I thought about them. If I can do that with my scenes, I think the producer can, too.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

What’s interesting about my steamboat race is that it’s a true story. While the love story between Charles and Frances, even though they were real people, is but speculation, a fanciful whim created in my own heart hoping that their “love story” would make my three and one half day, grueling race a more interesting piece of entertainment. At times, when I was writing my scenes, I did learn how boring it was for the passengers. It was hard to come up with some great things to make the story sing. But in the end, I had to tell the truth about the major part of the story. The race and what happened on each steamer was true to the best of my research findings. As for Charles’ story, he was an obscure part of the grand scheme until I uncovered his name in the annals of an old history book that began my journey to discovering what this man was all about. There are still many gaping holes, but I find that the one thing that really did tell the truth about the real Charles Knapp were his eyes. There was no mistaking the look in them in one of his last photos. The man, at some point, had a major heart break, but what was written about him told me he also had an amazing life. A life that should be up on the major screen and celebrated. After all, newspapermen and women celebrate a part of that life every year as they attend the annual Grid Iron Dinner. I am going to do everything I can to make his life’s story come to life. So that everyone, not just the pages of an old history book know, are the only things that know anything about him.

THE 10 most interesting things about my script:

1. Charles wears his broken heart on his sleeve. He acts like a proper milktoast, but he has a strength, fortitude inside him that allows him to go on no matter what.

Frances is a “thoroughly modern Millie” type, a free spirit, though still caught in the dilemma of the times she was born in.

Albert is a gentleman, but a cad, a diametrically opposed soul.

Captain Cannon is a practical, pragmatic man, but an ardent self-doubter. Subdued.

Captain Leathers is a big blowhard, with a soft heart. Has a major blind spot—his own self worth and expertise.

John Kay is a very self-confident peacock

2. Who was Charles Welbourne Knapp? Why should we care about him? How is did his story come to be entwined with the “race of the century”?

We all kind of know the story about the race between the Natchez and the Robert E. Lee. It is celebrated in song. But what really happened during the race? Who were the captains who took part?

Charles wears his broken heart on his sleeve. But, in the end, he perseveres and he goes on to become a celebrated newspaperman.

3. Turning points include Charles spurning Frances, the boiler scene when the Lee is almost lost in a terrible accident that almost happened, Albert’s intrusion and then Albert’s advances, Frances kind of accepting Albert’s advances/proposal and then Albert’s harsh treatment/abuse of Frances.

Charles in the middle of the race discovers he has feelings for Frances. Suddenly, he finds he has a very serious rival in Albert.

Leathers realizes he’s losing the race though, at first, he won’t admit it even to himself.

The FOG rolling in, the boiler ready to burst, a major cooling pipe leaking. When Albert hurts Frances. Getting to Tower Island.

4. Twists include Albert’s early proposal of marriage, Albert’s hurting Frances, Charles finding he’s in love with Frances. And Charles doesn’t know he loves Frances until he’s left the Robert E. Lee and finds Albert on the Main Deck proposing to her as he watches them from the shores of Memphis.

5. Betrayals? This one was hard. But Albert never shows his temper until he learns Frances had meddled in his business. Both captains were betrayed by the great summer weather turning into a cold, treacherous fog for them to trundle through. The Mississippi betrays Leathers. He thinks he knows the river very well. The river says differently in the race. And Leathers is betrayed by his own steamer. His brand new, state of the art steamer. It’s not the perfect, state of the art creation he paid for.

6. Some surprises include John Kay getting thrown into the Mississippi by Leathers. The first proposal of marriage to Frances by Albert. And then the second proposal of marriage between Charles and Frances. We also meet Robert E. Lee’s daughter in the final scenes of the story.

AND THEN THE FOG!

7. Emotional dilemmas include Charles’ broken heart and his discovering his love for Frances. Leathers refuses to believe he can be defeated by Cannon, yet he sees it’s possible every mile up the river. Cannon cannot help, but chastise himself for racing, especially when he still feels responsible for the loss of his Louisiana, and for feeling he’s put his crew and passengers’ lives at risk because of it.

8. Reversals The Mississippi is a treacherous river in spots. And when the water levels are low most certainly a river you don’t want to be traveling on as a novice. The two captains suffer reversals along the river: faulty equipment, snags and hazards lying beneath the waters, daring tricks and feats of daring to up their game in the race, some successful, some not so. And then the constant threat of landing on sandbars and not getting out. And the constant threat of a boiler exploding ending the race and the lives of the people on board.

This is what I came up with for my race. I’m waiting to watch the tv shows on Blackbeard’s treasure on the history channel so I can go back to my Blackbeard’s treasure script in a short while. Thanks for understanding. This one, in the meantime, needs to get finished.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE 10 LESSON 3

FRAN MEETS PRODUCER/MANAGER

WHAT I LEARNED: Just be honest and put in the stuff you hope will catch their attention and show them your work is marketable.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

For my Comedy:

For the Producer:

I would introduce myself. Give him my logline and the short synopsis I wrote for my script. And add the names have been changed to protect the guilty! I would add, too, if I had the time, that my sister and I worked for many years at various restaurants. A lot of the scenes included in the script really happened on our watches. That I know this story, I lived much of it as a waitress. Josie was a real person and a great friend. I’m paying homage to him in this story.

This is a good vehicle for some young, up and coming comedians to get their feet wet in the movie business. AND there are several female characters that might attract A-list actors.

I have taken several screenwriting classes to become the writer I am today. I am a third runner up in a contest I entered several years ago: The Seven Rays Scene Writing Contest. And I already have two producers who have great faith in my work. They are friends. They’re just not producers of comedy.

For the Manager:

I would emphasize more my skills as a writer has grown over the years, having taken several classes to help me learn to write and prepare screenplays for sale.

I would also be willing to write comedy for anyone who has an idea they would like to turn into an hilarious 90 minute screenfest.

I am also a bit of a comedian myself, having waited on tables for years to only go back to school to become a teacher, both jobs giving me the skills and expertise and knowledge in how to entertain people and make them laugh as well as educate.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE TEN LESSON TWO

FRAN’S MARKETABLE COMPONENTS

WHAT I LEARNED: The uniqueness of the stories I choose to tell, they just sell themselves. I just have to learn how to put them together precisely to make sure the actors and producers get that, too!

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

Marketable components for the Steamboat race

I’ve only seen a handful of movies (quite old, in fact) about steamboats. One is SHOWBOAT, ANOTHER IS ABOUT MARK TWAIN. And one television show: RIVERBOAT, starring Darren McGavin and Burt Reynolds.

So, already being a UNIQUE story in itself, I’ve chosen to weave my pitch around the two components: based on a true story and great roles for bankable stars.

My script is based on the true story of the Great Race Between the Natchez and the Robert E. Lee. Tons of research went into this, several sources that included the Missouri Republican’s story on the race, and several books written on the subject.

I was challenged by one of the writers, Manley Wellman, when he said the reporters who were on the steamers and wrote the articles would never be known. But I said they could be found. And I found them! One was John C. Kay, who was on the Natchez and who wrote for the Republican and an expert on steamboat races. The other took a ton of digging and, finally, contacting a member of the family who descended from the reporter, a Mr. Terry Mount (his wife actually), who gave me permission to use Charles in my story as my main character. He was the one who confirmed Charles was on the steamer, according to some family members.

I’m writing the story as I would a book or thesis, through the eyes of Charles and his story (the story) in the Republican. He was the son and heir of the owner and operator of the Republican and became a prominent newspaperman of the Midwest (a contemporary of Pulitzer), he was the one who organized the Associated Press as we know it today. He started working for the New York Times when he was suddenly taken ill and died. But his story is a great find! And I’m very proud I found it! It would be my honor if TOM HOLLAND would play this role in my story. Charles was only 22 when he became a news reporter because of this race.

My other picks for the main characters:

For John W. Cannon, Captain of the Robert E. Lee, I want Liam Neeson. A towering man, Liam Nesson is as towering a figure and would do this role justice. He also looks like him.

For Thomas P. Leathers, I need Mel Gibson for two reasons: 1. Because in my pictures of Leathers, he is almost the spitting image of Leathers, I swear it! And 2. Mel can swear up a storm with the drop of a hat. And Leathers was not shy about using blue, profane language, according to the many sources I found.

Several of my hooks are what happened on the Lee as the race began. The Lee experienced a boiler malfunction and the steamer was almost blown out of the water, except for the brave engineer who saved her.

And then there’s the fact that The Natchez, a brand new, state of the art piece of machinery, Leathers couldn’t get his act together through the race to win it over a steamer who was 3 years old and ready to be retired, despite his running an honest race—although Leathers was known for his continued cheating in the races he won over the years!

I have written the scene where Cannon outsmarts Leathers to get ahead right out of the starting gate!

And I have included a scene about the Sultana when she blew up killing hundreds of soldiers on board her. And scenes where the steamers have to travel through a dangerous stretch of the river known as Devil’s Country, culminating with the scenes where they must travel through a fog so dense none of the pilots or captains experienced anything like it in their many years of service.

These two captains were around 60 years of age when they took on this three and one half day, grueling race. Top speed 17 miles per hour! This is old back then!

This is the uniqueness of my story.

IT’S THE EXCITEMENT OF THE RACE, the crowds, the age of the men involved, and the TELLING OF THE STORY by a man we still know little of today, but was one of the great reporters and newspapermen of his time that I think will get it noticed. Plus, the love story.

The love story that Charles encounters after his long period of grieving over a lost fiancé. This love story is made up, but I thought it was a grand way to introduce the two characters in my script and in real life: Charles Welbourne and Frances Knapp, along with their daughter, Genevieve!

FOR MY COMEDY HASH HOUSE

I also chose UNIQUE here, and for this one WIDE AUDIENCE APPEAL.

Everyone at one time or another’s eaten in a restaurant—some great, extravagant, others, not so great—and rather turn off-ish. So, I think everyone who hasn’t experienced the behind the in/out doors days and nights of the restaurant business will love to get a sneak peek at what happened and what we experienced during the times my sister and I worked at the restaurants that typified what I wrote in this, I think, very funny comedy. Yes, I guess you can call it a memoir.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE TEN LESSON ONE

FRAN’S PROJECT AND MARKET

WHAT I LEARNED: Just keep looking, listing to find the ones that best fit your script.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

I do remember doing all this in one of my other classes. It’s a really good exercise to get down pat to target the market.

As I am abandoning my script for this class because it is nowhere NEAR anything—and, frankly, I lost heart in writing it, I’m going to be working to market two of my other scripts.

My COMEDY, HASH HOUSE, I’ve already placed in another contest after, this time, doing 5 passes on it to get it perfect. And because I heard that Chuck Lorre (Big Bang Theory) was looking for a restaurant script, I immediately jumped on it and sent him a letter requesting to send the script.

It’s about a young college slacker, who’s finally found himself in a tough love situation. He has to go to work for a living in a crazy, nutso restaurant that just so happens to be his aunt’s—and one day will be his. But when he gets there, he finds himself under siege by a gorgeous seductress who’s out to take over the business, his trust fund, and him, while Harlan finds himself falling in love with another server who he had a major clash with the night of his graduation party.

This one I’m looking for producers.

My second, The Great Steamboat Race Between the Natchez and the Robert E. Lee, Parts I, II and III,

is an Historical Fiction, Drama piece, I’ve been working on for years.

It’s based on the true story of the great race that took place over three and a half days in 1870. And the love story is inspired by the life of one of our great newspapermen who lived during that time: Charles Welbourne Knapp (Missouri Republican, AP, New York Times ). The concept:

It’s the story of two young lovers who, through perils and pitfalls, and a handsome rival who vies for the young woman’s hand, find their way to each other in the greatest race ever to be recorded in the annals of American history.

This one screams for at least 2 actors to play the captains because, not so much for their acting abilities, but because they look so much like the captains of the two steamboats.

I want Liam Neeson to play Captain John Cannon.

And I want Mel Gibson to play Captain Thomas Leathers. (I know he’s a persona non grata in Hollywood, but you have to see the photos of Leathers. It’s uncanny!

Otherwise, if I had to choose to look for a producer, hands down, my first choice would be Ron Howard. My second would be Steven Spielberg. But if I aim for the History Channel for this one, then any one of the actors who’ve been producing for the channel would do! Leonardo DiCaprio, Jeremy Renner. I would also check out Reese Witherspoon to see if she would be interested. But that’s later on in my research for the right fit.

[Frances Emerson]

I’ve partnered up with my film director, producer friend. He’s going to let me know what he thinks. Once he’s finished, it’s off to the contest.

[Frances Emerson]

Again, for the proofreading, as I said, I’ve been a week working on a script to send out to Chuck Lorre. And the proofreading was excruciating. I made 4 passes on it to make sure it was mistake. I have a fifth one being done by a friend of mine who is an up and coming film director producer. If that isn’t what this lesson is all about, I don’t now what is. Do it until you have a huge headache from it.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE NINE LESSON TWO

FRAN’S WORDSMITHING

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

WHAT I LEARNED: Subtext, subtext, subtext. It makes this silent declaration of love scene work!

This is a continuation of Lesson One’s exercise. This is the same scene. I don’t think I have the before any longer. Just the after.

This is the scene following Charles’ visit to Albert and punching him in the face for hurting Frances.

EXT. ROBERT E. LEE, MAIN DECK – NIGHT

Alone, Charles stares out toward the horizon, barely able to see the black smoke from the Natchez’s chimneys curling upward in the distance.

Fog worsens.

Frances joins him.

CHARLES

Did you catch the sunset this evening?

FRANCES

I hardly paid any attention.

CHARLES

I don’t believe I’ve ever seen one like it before. Such a rosy splendor for

Summer. Befitting a Sabboth. –You had supper with your father?

FRANCES

I couldn’t eat. The excitement of being in St. Louis tomorrow.

Frances draws closer.

FRANCES

I hope he was gentle with Albert.

CHARLES

He was.

Frances joins Charles at the railing.

CHARLES

Are you all right?

FRANCES

I’m fine. Now that I have my knight in shining armor back

on board.

Frances touches Charles’ arm. He takes a long moment to speak again.

CHARLES

You will never be seeing Mr. Eberman—ever again.

FRANCES

Yes, Charles.

CHARLES

Ever—again.

FRANCES

Of course.

Frances shivers noticing the air’s turned cold, damp. She rubs her arms for warmth.

FRANCES

The air seems strangely cold tonight for summer. Don’t you think?

CHARLES

I really hadn’t noticed.–Please. Forgive me.

Charles takes off his overcoat, wraps it around Frances’s shoulders.

CHARLES

There now. It must be the fog. –Settling in.—This should keep you warm.

FRANCES

Yes. It will.

(beat)

Charles.

CHARLES

[Frances Emerson]

I’ve been a whole week updating, upgrading an old screenlay I believe in and want someone to take notice of. I heard chuck lorre was looking for a restaurant script. My screenplay is a restaurant comedy, right up his alley. I worked so hard on it using your methods. I also wrote a pitch letter to him using your method and sent it out. And I’m going to put it in the ISA golden script contest, because I BELIEVE IN IT. It’s good and it’s funny. That’s what I’ve been doing. So, wish me luck.

Fran

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE NINE LESSON ONE

FRAN’S HAS TESTED EVERY LINE

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

WHAT I LEARNED:

As I keep posting, I’ve been working on my steamboat script part III to get it finished. I put part one into a fellowship contest, I’m hoping they’ll notice my work. I need to finally get this one done. I have my pirate script on hold, too. I need to get that one done. I know how to fix it now. And I want to get that one done. I’m trying desperately hard not to be a procrastinator like my father was. To get things done and over. And working on a new script when I have others waiting for me doesn’t help that resolve. As the lesson teaches, I’ve been testing my lines, rewriting, making it as great, as feel worthy as possible. Following the lessons as well as I can to get this one done. I have two people who want it finished. I just need the time now and lately I haven’t been getting the time I need to do that with my job. So, I’m putting this script I’m working on for this class aside for now. And I’m going for the gold—getting this one done and going back to finish my pirate script when my steamboat script is done. It makes me feel good that I’m working on it and trying to finish it. I am so proud to see the product taking shape before my eyes with every pass I take on the pages!

The chosen scene set up:

The young lovers have finally found their way to each other.

But now comes the most perilous part of the journey for the racers. A treacherous stretch of the Mississippi River, fraught with jagged rocks and sunken ships ready to tear the racing steamers apart the moment they slip up. And now they’re facing a thick, dense fog that has settled over the waters. Nothing can be seen for miles. And it’s not letting up. This, finally, may be the end of the race for the Natchez and the Robert E. Lee.

Frances’s once suitor, Albert, has hurt her deeply, and Charles has defended her honor most admirably.

THE SCENE BEFORE:

EXT. ROBERT E. LEE, MAIN DECK – NIGHT

Charles, alone, stares out toward the waters. He can barely make out the black smoke from the Natchez’s chimneys curling upward over the horizon in the distance for the growing fog. Frances joins him.

AFTER:

Alone, Charles stares out toward the horizon, barely able to see the black smoke from the Natchez’s chimneys curling upward in the distance.

Fog worsens.

Frances joins him.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE EIGHT LESSON SEVEN

FRAN HAS AMAZING DIALOGUE

WHAT I LEARNED: It takes genuine thought to put emotion and real words into the mouth of a character. I’m still putting a lot of thought into my steamboat script as I try to keep up with the lessons here. I’m using what I’m learning here to elevate and make that script great. And it’s really helping me. This script, I’m putting more on the back burner. I have other stories that are more pressing for me, more interesting to work on at the moment.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

Old line:

Meredith to her agent over the phone:

MEREDITH: I’m afraid this time it’s over. I just need the courage to make it a reality. The work isn’t going as planned. The partnership.

New line:

MEREDITH: It’s over.—For good this time. Jerome’s made it impossible for me to work on this project any longer.—The partnership? There is no partnership. There hasn’t been one for some time now.—Unless you’re talking about the one that really has his attention these days.—My days with Jerome—are over.

Meredith, again, talking to her agent on the phone about the story she’s discovered.

Old line:

MEREDITH: I found this story. I think it would make a good screenplay. At least. I like the story. It’s about the Romanov family. Their daughter, Olga. Especially.

New line:

MEREDITH: I found this story … I think you’re going to really like it. It’s about the Romanovs. Czar Nicholas’s family at the start of the Great War. Their daughter, Olga.—Tragic ending.—Tragic love story.—Pretty much like mine.

Olga and her mother Alexandria are having it out over Dmitri, her cousin, her betrothed. The one who plotted to assassinate Rasputin with others of the royal household.

Old line:

ALEXANDRA: This is your fault!

OLGA: How is it my fault, Mother?

ALEXANDRA: He killed the man who kept Alexei alive.

OLGA: I don’t care. I love Dmitri.

ALEXANDRIA: You are forbidden to ever see him again.

OLGA: I hate you. I hate you forever.

New Line:

ALEXANDRA: This is on your head!

OLGA: Why is it on my head?

ALEXANDRA: You want to marry Dmitri.

OLGA: I love him, Mother. He is everything to me. More.

ALEXANDRA: He murdered the one man who has kept Alexei alive.

OLGA: Alexei is the only child that counts—in your eyes?

ALEXANDRA: How dare you!

OLGA: Rasputin was evil!

ALEXANDRA: He was a man of God!

OLGA: A man of God? A man of SIN, you mean! You cannot deny me my love.

ALEXANDRA: I forbid you to ever see him again.

OLGA: You. The woman who compromised herself with a—man of God—forbidding me?

Olga tries to walk out.

ALEXANDRA: I WILL SEE TO IT HE IS BANISHED FROM RUSSIA FOR FOREVER! You will never see him again!

Olga stops, looks at her mother with complete scorn.

OLGA: As—you–wish. Mother.

She storms out.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE EIGHT LESSON SIX

FRAN HAS INCREDIBLE MONOLOGUES

WHAT I LEARNED: Think of a situation you might have had similar to your character. Feel for that character in that moment. What did you feel. What would your character feel in that situation. And then just write.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

MEREDITH TO KYRON

Meredith tells Kyron why she left him. Why she disappeared on him and never accepted his proposal of marriage.

KYRON: Why didn’t you leave with me when you had the chance? Married me instead of Jerome?

MEREDITH: Most of my life, I’ve listened to everyone else. Their opinions. What I should do. How I should do it. How I should live. Catering to their needs. Doing what they wanted me to do. Letting them decide what was best for me. My hopes, my dreams. All wasting away while others wanted me to be the more practical, sensible shoes Meredith. They were right. I was wrong. Well, not anymore. I’m tired of listening, appeasing, waiting for my turn. It’s never going to be my turn, if I don’t reach out and take it. Be the one who makes the rules for my life. That’s what happened, Kyron.—To us. I let others tell me how I felt about you. That it wasn’t love. I was too young to know.–He wasn’t “our kind.” But that wasn’t true. It isn’t true. If you had asked me—in a moment—then—before all the lecturing, I would have gone to the ends of the earth with you. It’s how I still feel. That has never changed. Not for one second of my life—since we first met. Wrong time. Wrong place. Wrong everything when we were young. You were you the wrong man in their minds.

KYRON: It isn’t that way anymore.

MEREDITH: How could I have been so foolish to let the love of my life slip away from me like that?

OLGA TO DMITRI THE SOLDIER

Olga has followed Dmitri to the tavern. She sees him with his comrades, drunk and in revelry. She watches as he shares her love letters to him with his comrades. Making fun of them. Making fun of her.

DMITRI: (reading letter to comrades) Perhaps my father, when he returns to business, will allow you to enter into his service. I should love for you to come to the palace one day. So that we can be married—with my father’s blessing.

(beat)

(laughing) She wants to marry me!

Laughter all around.

DMITRI: Like a desperate—foolish–whore who’s fallen in love with one of her clients.

COMRADE ONE: Take her up on it, Dmitri! Live the life of a czar!

Olga enters stunned. Angry. Unamused. She wrests the letter out of Dmitri’s hands. Staring at his comrades with the fire and wrath of Peter the Great raging in her eyes …having heard every word.

OLGA: You think you have bruised me. Wounded me. Crushed me. Far from it—poor—dear—Dmitri. Instead, you have saved me from a hellish life with the likes of you. Wakened me to the realities, the cruelties of this world. Something as Grand Duchess I never knew—until now. Without your pitiful attempts at scorn and derision, I would have never felt the joy of knowing what hateful creatures men truly are. I may never be czar by law. But in this moment, I feel as though I am–czar. You have given me that joy of knowing what it is like to rule over men. Know you this—my love, that on the day you see me again, I will be the one to bruise you, to wound you. –To crush you. Whether it be in this life or the next. There will be no escaping the consequences of your actions.

Olga turns to leave

OLGA: Remember. Come near me again. Touch me ever again. And your life is forfeit.—

In grand style—and dignity– Olga exits the tavern.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE EIGHT LESSON FIVE

FRAN’S GREAT SUBTEXT POINTERS

WHAT I LEARNED: It’s a bit ironic, while subbing for English classes on and off these past few months, I’ve been relearning all about these literary devices and how they work in a story. We just went through Midterms, and I read a couple of passages to a young woman who needed a reader. And to my amazement, this one passage really spoke to this particular assignment. The author had talked about his Native American heritage and how the white man had despoiled this land and his culture for him. It was haunting. Many things he alluded to I could appreciate and understand because of where I live. I am surrounded by Native American history here in the Finger Lakes. Especially, the Leatherstocking Tales. My favorite Daniel Day Lewis movie is Last of the Mohicans. It really spoke to me without saying it outright. It was a lesson in itself.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

THE HOOK:

EXT. ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA – DAY

1718. Alexei, Peter the Great’s son, branded a traitor, is near death. Starved, beaten by this father’s own hand. He is branded a traitor and now must face his demise.

In his son’s last hours on the earth, his son tied to a post in the street, Peter tries to wrangle a confession out of him. And to renounce his birthright to the throne. Bleeding, in pain, Alexei refuses to do either.

PETER

CONFESS!

ALEXEI

Go to hell.

PETER

How could I have ever believed that you would

follow in my footsteps—as the next czar of my empire?

ALEXEI

You want a confession.—Here is my confession.

When I am czar, I shall bring back the old people and choose

myself new ones to my will; when I become sovereign, I shall

live in Moscow and leave Saint Petersburg simply as any other

town. I won’t launch any ships. I shall maintain troops only for

defense. And I won’t make war on anyone. I shall be content

with the old domain. In winter I shall live in Moscow and in

summer in Laroslavl.”

PETER

It takes more than issuing edicts and throwing dinner parties.

Alexei

It takes more than waging war and passing harsh sentences– and bellowing out orders to your subordinates—which I would not follow anyway.

PETER

I did not raise my son to be a coward.

ALEXEI

Of course. I’m certain you blame Mother.

PETER

And I did not raise you to be a traitor. You will renounce your

title—step aside—and give it to your son.

ALEXEI

A child—no more than a babe in a cradle. Ruling Russia. (laughs)

And just who do you propose will rule in his stead while he’s busy

growing up—to becoming a man? Who will teach him? YOU?

PETER

You will not speak to your father or your emperor in that manner!

ALEXEI

(scoffs)

My father. The emperor of all the Russias.

PETER

RENOUNCE YOUR TITLE!

ALEXEI

Go to hell! I would rather listen to his mother’s words of wisdom.

Than yours. You blame her for everything anyway.

PETER

You have disgraced the Romanov name. My legacy.

ALEXEI

You. Who has ruled over nothing, but war after war. Over land that

doesn’t belong to you.

Perhaps it is you who should step down. And let a real man rule.

–Or should I say woman?

PETER

It will take an edict of Heaven for a woman to rule in my place.

ALEXEI

So be it then, Father. God. Grant me, this, my last request. That one day

when my father is gone, a woman shall rule over this sovereign land

—(looks at Peter) And be greater than you!

PETER

GUARDS! TAKE MY SON TO HIS CELL. NOW!

(as they drag Alexei off)

ALEXEI

(shouting)

AMEN!

PETER

We shall see who is to rule after me!

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE EIGHT LESSON FOUR

FRAN LOVES COVERING SUBTEXT

WHAT I LEARNED: This pretty much speaks to the main character and the change he/she must go through to reach the conclusion of his/her story. It gives us pause to really think about our protagonist and how he/she will ultimately handle the situation.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

In the last lessons it appears I was already doing lessons four and five for this class and script. What’s really been fun is writing for my Charles character in my steamboat script and the subtext I’ve been giving him.

In the one scene I used action congruent to his words and his normal character and actions I set up for him at the beginning of the story.

And then I used a questioning. Charles asks Frances a question alluding to the real question he wanted to ask her, but doesn’t.

Finally, I combined silence with a change of subject for him in the final part of the scene.

It really worked well because the scene set up the next time Charles needs to become braver and actually take a lead role in saving the race for the Captain of the Robert E. Lee.

As for Winter’s Love Lost, the script I’m working on for this class:

Olga uses Questioning with Dmitri number two. And then Attacks Back. It speaks to her character in real life.

As for Meredith and Jerome, Jerome uses Misdirection to hide his affair and financial problems from Meredith.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE EIGHT LESSON ONE

FRAN’S STRUCTURED DIALOGUE

WHAT I LEARNED: Keeping in mind the underlying meaning in your head as you write helps a lot. You’re looking for the understated in your words. It takes a while to think about them, and time to come up with what you need. But with a little more wordsmithing down the road, it will shine.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

Dmitri II’s Tavern Scene (Twist)

INT. TAVERN – NIGHT

Dmitri sits with a friend. He holds anther letter from Olga in his hands. He reads the letter to is companion:

DMITRI

My brave soldier. I have missed our days together. But I would not

want you still here with me, but well and with your comrades in arms.

I find my nights here are long without someone to talk to—to confide in.

You. I shall be counting the hours until we are together again. Until

then, my love, my heart, my entire reason for being, my thoughts are

only of you.

Olga

Dmitri sighs.

DMITRI

Alas. She can’t help herself. She loves me. Her entire being. She loves me.

CAMERA PULLS BACK TO REAVEAL several other comrades in the tavern with Dmitri listening to every word.

Dmitri burst into wicked laughter. He removes other letters from a coat pocket, he scatters them to the floor.

DMITRI

Here, my friends. Our entertainment for the evening. Enjoy yourselves.

The soldiers scramble to retrieve the letters as Dmitri lets out another diabolical laugh.

Jerome and Meredith in their apartment. (Subtext meaning)

INT. MEREDITH AND JEROME’S ATPARTMENT – NIGHT

Meredith settles down to read some of her book. Jerome gets a call.

JEROME

Yeah.—I’m in Moscow. Shooting. I have it. I just need a few more days to finish.—

You know where I am.—I’ll be home in a few more days.—Look. It’s not that. It’s

Just a few more scenes.

Jerome hangs up. Cell phone rings gain. Jerome answers.

JEROME

I told you … Oh. It’s you.

He looks at Meredith—feigning interest in her book at the moment. But hearing everything.

STARLET

I need someone to help me with something in the script. Can you come over?

JEROME

I don’t know if I can. …It’s late. I’m tired. I need to go to bed. Big day tomorrow.

STARLET

Who’s stopping you?

JEROME

So. What’s the problem you’re having?

STARLET

The dialogue’s a little—stilted.

JEROME

This won’t take long, will it?

STARLET

I need someone to help me—smooth out the rough edges. You know. Get it

all to relax a little more.

JEROME

Can’t this wait until tomorrow? I have a few things here I’m dealing with right now.

Meredith looks up. Not fooled.

JEROME

You can’t do it yourself.

STARLET

Well. It usually does take two to tango. And I’m really needing another dance

lesson before tomorrow’s shoot.

JEROME

All right. Give me a few minutes.

Jerome hangs up.

Jerome

Don’t wait up for me. This may take awhile.

Meredith

I hadn’t planned on it.

NICHOLAS PRESENTS OLGA WITH HER ST. GEORGE NECKLACE (Opposite meaning—we know the fate of young Olga and her family)

INT. ROMANOV PALACE – DAY

Czar Nicholas presents his eldest daughter, still a very young girl, with a St. George medallion necklace. Exquisite. Priceless.

CAMERA, CLOSE SHOT ON THE NECKLACE

NICHOLAS

This belonged to our grandmother.

He puts it around Olga’s neck.

OLGA

Oh, Papa! (hugs him) I shall never take it off.

NICHOLAS

You know. An old woman. A seeress told me once. A long time ago.

When you were born. You wouldn’t live to see your twenty fourth

birthday. But I told her. You were the Grand Duchess of all the Russias.

You will live forever.—At least in my heart.

OLGA

Living forever. Victoria lived a very long time, didn’t she? Papa. I want to be just

like here when I grow up.

NICHOLAS

I don’t know, Olga. This is Russia. She was the Queen of England. The rules here

are very different.

OLGA

Not so different. Not if we don’t let them be. You haven’t an heir yet, Papa. Except

for me.

NICHOLAS

You needn’t worry about that, my love. Your mother and I. We still want so much

to give you and your sisters a little brother.

Olga frowns.

OLGA

You mean I can’t be a queen like Victoria? Why not?

NICHOLAS

It is a discussion we will have for another time.

Rasputin names his price for saving Alexandra’s son Alexei scene (Deeper layer meaning)

INT. ALEXEI’S BEDROOM – EVENING

The family’s gathered round praying for Alexei’s recovery from his fall. This time it appears he’s not going to make it. His skin is pallid, wan from his loss of blood.

Alexandra is beside herself, praying for a miracle. Afraid Alexei will die.

ALEXANDRA

God. Nicky. He’s your only heir. We cannot let him die.

Olga overhears.

NICHOLAS

We can try for another child.

ALEXANDRA

I don’t know if I can A hungry, wanton look on his face.

ALEXANDRA

Father.

RASPUTIN

My lady.

Alexis looks up at the priest. Her eyes begging for Rasputin to cure her child.

PASPUTIN

I can save your son.

Alexandra’s hope perks up with the news. Nicholas, the girls are not so convinced.

RASPUTIN

But in return there is something you must do for me.

He stares at her lustfully.

Alexandra looks to her family. Hope. Belief in her eyes. Understanding.

ALEXANDRA

Anything. Anything. Name it. You shall have it.

NICHOLAS

No. Alex.

ALEXANDRA

If Alexei is to be czar one day. Then so be it. What good is losing my

reputation. My self-pride, my dignity, if I cannot give it to save my son!

NICHOLAS

Do not do this Alex. We can find another way.

Alexandra rises. Takes Rasputin’s outstretched hand. Her eyes bid her family a quiet farewell.

Rasputin leads her through the door and out into the hallway as the girls, Nicholas watch, Olga, in anger.

RASPUTIN

You have saved your son, my lady.

He kisses her hand.

RASPUTIN

Shall we?

They leave to go to another room, somewhere in the palace, to be alone.

[Frances Emerson]

Oops! Looks like I put the wrong assignment in the wrong reply! Here’s the right one.

MODULE EIGHT LESSON TWO

FRAN’S ATTACK/COUNTERATTACK DIALOGUE

WHAT I LEARNED: Again. Keep it in your mind what the goal is. Play it through, let the words flow. Let your characters do the talking. Clean it up after.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

OLGA AND ALEXANDRA HAVE IT OUT OVER RASPUTIN

INT. ROMANOV PALACE, OUTSIDE ALEXEI’S ROOM – DAY

Olga waits for Alexandra, outside in the corridor. She is prompt. In a hurry to see her son.

OLGA

What did you think to accomplish, Mother?

ALEXANDRA

I need to see Alexei. How is he?

OLGA

The priest is in with him now.—He is recovering.

ALEXANDER

Thank God.

Alexandra moves to go inside.

OLGA

But what your daughters?

ALEXANDRA

Olga. I have no time for this.

OLGA

It is Alexei, I think, who doesn’t have the time. But you … What are the people

going to say when they learn their beloved czarina has turned herself into a whore—for Rasputin?

Already they rage against the madman who takes evil advantage of everyone. What will they say when they learn their queen has succumbed to his spell as well?

ALEXANDRA

How dare you.

OLGA

It does not matter the rank or file. It does not matter how blue the blood. Because he

believes himself to be a man of God. A—special–man.

ALEXANDRA

You will not speak to your mother in that fashion.

OLGA

I will speak to my mother in any manner that pleases me.

ALEXNDRA

HOW DARE YOU! MY OWN DAUGHTER!!

OLGA

I don’t care. The moment the people find out. You will be vilified. Crucified for your

flagrant disregard for your crown—and my father’s.

ALEXNDRA

I did it to save Alexei.

OLGA

And what of your daughters? Are they not worthy of your love, too? You know what the people will

think of us, too, mother. You know what they’ll say. Like mother. Like daughter. That man is the spawn of Satan! And you allowed him to defile your marriage bed.

ALEXANDRA

LEAVE ME! LEAVE MY SIGHT! Before I say something I will regret.

OLGA

It has always been this way. Hasn’t it, mother? It has always been Alexei. Everything for Alexei. Even before he was born. Tell me. Is he so powerful he takes even the place of God in your eyes?

ALEXANDRA

You do not want your brother to live?

OLGA

Yes. I want him to live. But not at the expense of my mother’s reputation. Or the crown’s. Forgive me.

But I shall not be so careless when it is time for me to marry and take my place on a throne.

And I will not abandon God and His purpose—for that of a depraved monk’s who’s little more than a back-alley sewer rat!

Olga storms away. Alexandra enters Alexei’s room in tatters.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE EIGHT LESSON ONE

FRAN’S STRUCTURED DIALOGUE

WHAT I LEARNED: Keeping in mind the underlying meaning in your head as you write helps a lot. You’re looking for the understated in your words. It takes a while to think about them, and time to come up with what you need. But with a little more wordsmithing down the road, it will shine.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

Dmitri II’s Tavern Scene (Twist)

INT. TAVERN – NIGHT

Dmitri sits with a friend. He holds anther letter from Olga in his hands. He reads the letter to is companion:

DMITRI

My brave soldier. I have missed our days together. But I would not

want you still here with me, but well and with your comrades in arms.

I find my nights here are long without someone to talk to—to confide in.

You. I shall be counting the hours until we are together again. Until

then, my love, my heart, my entire reason for being, my thoughts are

only of you.

Olga

Dmitri sighs.

DMITRI

Alas. She can’t help herself. She loves me. Her entire being. She loves me.

CAMERA PULLS BACK TO REAVEAL several other comrades in the tavern with Dmitri listening to every word.

Dmitri burst into wicked laughter. He removes other letters from a coat pocket, he scatters them to the floor.

DMITRI

Here, my friends. Our entertainment for the evening. Enjoy yourselves.

The soldiers scramble to retrieve the letters as Dmitri lets out another diabolical laugh.

Jerome and Meredith in their apartment. (Subtext meaning)

INT. MEREDITH AND JEROME’S ATPARTMENT – NIGHT

Meredith settles down to read some of her book. Jerome gets a call.

JEROME

Yeah.—I’m in Moscow. Shooting. I have it. I just need a few more days to finish.—

You know where I am.—I’ll be home in a few more days.—Look. It’s not that. It’s

Just a few more scenes.

Jerome hangs up. Cell phone rings gain. Jerome answers.

JEROME

I told you … Oh. It’s you.

He looks at Meredith—feigning interest in her book at the moment. But hearing everything.

STARLET

I need someone to help me with something in the script. Can you come over?

JEROME

I don’t know if I can. …It’s late. I’m tired. I need to go to bed. Big day tomorrow.

STARLET

Who’s stopping you?

JEROME

So. What’s the problem you’re having?

STARLET

The dialogue’s a little—stilted.

JEROME

This won’t take long, will it?

STARLET

I need someone to help me—smooth out the rough edges. You know. Get it

all to relax a little more.

JEROME

Can’t this wait until tomorrow? I have a few things here I’m dealing with right now.

Meredith looks up. Not fooled.

JEROME

You can’t do it yourself.

STARLET

Well. It usually does take two to tango. And I’m really needing another dance

lesson before tomorrow’s shoot.

JEROME

All right. Give me a few minutes.

Jerome hangs up.

Jerome

Don’t wait up for me. This may take awhile.

Meredith

I hadn’t planned on it.

NICHOLAS PRESENTS OLGA WITH HER ST. GEORGE NECKLACE (Opposite meaning—we know the fate of young Olga and her family)

INT. ROMANOV PALACE – DAY

Czar Nicholas presents his eldest daughter, still a very young girl, with a St. George medallion necklace. Exquisite. Priceless.

CAMERA, CLOSE SHOT ON THE NECKLACE

NICHOLAS

This belonged to our grandmother.

He puts it around Olga’s neck.

OLGA

Oh, Papa! (hugs him) I shall never take it off.

NICHOLAS

You know. An old woman. A seeress told me once. A long time ago.

When you were born. You wouldn’t live to see your twenty fourth

birthday. But I told her. You were the Grand Duchess of all the Russias.

You will live forever.—At least in my heart.

OLGA

Living forever. Victoria lived a very long time, didn’t she? Papa. I want to be just

like here when I grow up.

NICHOLAS

I don’t know, Olga. This is Russia. She was the Queen of England. The rules here

are very different.

OLGA

Not so different. Not if we don’t let them be. You haven’t an heir yet, Papa. Except

for me.

NICHOLAS

You needn’t worry about that, my love. Your mother and I. We still want so much

to give you and your sisters a little brother.

Olga frowns.

OLGA

You mean I can’t be a queen like Victoria? Why not?

NICHOLAS

It is a discussion we will have for another time.

Rasputin names his price for saving Alexandra’s son Alexei scene (Deeper layer meaning)

INT. ALEXEI’S BEDROOM – EVENING

The family’s gathered round praying for Alexei’s recovery from his fall. This time it appears he’s not going to make it. His skin is pallid, wan from his loss of blood.

Alexandra is beside herself, praying for a miracle. Afraid Alexei will die.

ALEXANDRA

God. Nicky. He’s your only heir. We cannot let him die.

Olga overhears.

NICHOLAS

We can try for another child.

ALEXANDRA

I don’t know if I can A hungry, wanton look on his face.

ALEXANDRA

Father.

RASPUTIN

My lady.

Alexis looks up at the priest. Her eyes begging for Rasputin to cure her child.

PASPUTIN

I can save your son.

Alexandra’s hope perks up with the news. Nicholas, the girls are not so convinced.

RASPUTIN

But in return there is something you must do for me.

He stares at her lustfully.

Alexandra looks to her family. Hope. Belief in her eyes. Understanding.

ALEXANDRA

Anything. Anything. Name it. You shall have it.

NICHOLAS

No. Alex.

ALEXANDRA

If Alexei is to be czar one day. Then so be it. What good is losing my

reputation. My self-pride, my dignity, if I cannot give it to save my son!

NICHOLAS

Do not do this Alex. We can find another way.

Alexandra rises. Takes Rasputin’s outstretched hand. Her eyes bid her family a quiet farewell.

Rasputin leads her through the door and out into the hallway as the girls, Nicholas watch, Olga, in anger.

RASPUTIN

You have saved your son, my lady.

He kisses her hand.

RASPUTIN

Shall we?

They leave to go to another room, somewhere in the palace, to be alone.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE EIGHT LESSON THREE

FRAN’S ANTICIPATORY DIALOGUE

WHAT I LEARNED: We should always this uppermost in our minds when we write dialogue. What will intrigue our audiences the most. What will draw in our viewer the best, keep them hooked?

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

Sharing three

1. Number one –When Czar Nicholas presents the necklace to Olga as a young girl. He flashes back, remembers a prophecy told to him and Alexandra by an old woman when Olga was born. She will not live to see her twenty-fourth birthday. Nicholas remembers, reflects, becomes unnerved by his remembering it—and knowing in his heart the woman is right.

2. Number nine—Olga and her mother Alexandra argue over her keeping Rasputin around to help and heal Alexei. She argues he will ruin her reputation. He is not a good man. She must send him away. Alexandra will not listen. All she wants is for Alexei to live. He is the heir to the throne. She will pay whatever price is demanded of her. It gets heated.

3. Number 6—Valentina tries to shield Olga from the wrath of the head nurse at the military hospital. Olga is not wanting to be a nurse and ordered around. She screws up and the head nurse puts her on a desk until further notice. Valentina tries to smooth it all over for her, and tries to teach her how to placate, get around the head nurse to make her life there a whole lot easier while her family must be there.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE SEVEN LESSON FIVE

FRAN’S ELEVATED DIALOGUE

WHAT I LEARNED: I haven’t been doing as much as I should on this script as I should, I know. But I’ve been working very hard on my steamboat race script. I just finished the turning point scene where Charles discovers he really loves Frances and wants to be with her. What happened with this scene was exhilarating as I wrote it and the dialogue, I think, is really good. I think the Hallmark people would be proud of me for it! It takes time and some thought, but imagine your characters playing it out in your head. They will tell you, show you what you need to say. And how they would say it.

P.S. My pirate script is also peeking out its head again at me. I’ve been letting my subconscious work on that for quite awhile; and what needed to be fixed, changed and rearranged is finally starting to come out. This is how I work on scripts. When something isn’t right, I put it aside and let my subconscious go to town on it. When I’m finished with my steamboat race, I do want to get back to working on my pirate script.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

My dialogue pieces:

In the hook:

Peter the Great: How could I have fathered such a son? You are not worthy to even be the czar’s bootlicker.

Alexei: Who would want you as their father?

Jerome to Meredith: Another crisis at the studio. I’m starting to get sick and tired of trying to make this script of yours into a halfway decent film.

Olga when she learns she cannot be czar by law:

Olga: Would it have made a difference if I had been born a son instead of a daughter? Must God bow down to Russian law, too?

Meredith to Kyron: We came from very different worlds, you and I.

Kyron: Not so different. We enjoy the same things.

Meredith: My parents would have kept us apart even if we had been next door neighbors, growing up together. Attending the very same schools.

Kyron: That was long ago. Things are different now.

Meredith: Are they? Have things really changed? For people like you and me—who just wanted to love each other?

Kyron: If we allow them to, they can.

Olga, when she learns of soldier Dmitri’s betrayal

Olga: How dare you! I am the daughter of a czar!

Dmitri: And you fall for any man, like a strumpet in the street.—Or so I am told.

Olga: I can have you hanged for this!

Dmitri: Alas. My dearest Olga. The monarchy is no more. The czar is no more. Just who will do your bidding for you now?

Dmitri lets out an evil laugh, strolls away quite pleased with himself.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE SEVEN LESSON FOUR

FRAN’S ELEVATED INTEREST

WHAT I LEARNED: It was kind of interesting what I was able to come up with as I thought about what little extra push I could put into the scenes to keep the audience interested. I know these aren’t all the scenes. But I think it’s a goo start.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

Olga’s Yacht Scene

Have Pavel deliberately entice Olga. Show he has as much interest in her as she him. This set is a set up for the later scene where Olga sees Pavel asking the czar for one of the lady in waiting’s hand in marriage, breaking Olga’s heart.

Meredith and Jerome’s Courtroom Battle

Jerome brings Kyron in to testify on his behalf as a co-respondent. He countersues Meredith, she has committed adultery surprising Meredith.

Soldier Dmitri’s Betrayal of Olga at the Tavern

Dmitri in a drunken state with his comrades, shares Olga’s love letters to him and makes fun of the Grand Duchess. To his surprise, Valentina, Olga’s trusted friend is there to witness it all and report it all back to Olga.

Olga Learns of Prince Dmitri’s Assistance in the Plot to Kill Rasputin.

He is willing to take the chance with his fellow family members to save Alexandra for an evil man and save the entire monarchy of further embarrassment. The plot makes Dmitri a persona non grata in the eyes of Alexandra. She, in a tirade, forbids him from ever seeing Olga again. They cannot marry. Dmitri is banished from the kingdom.

Olga upon hearing this, flies into a tirade of her own against her mother. A second heartbreak. She, this time, wants to leave Russia, go with Dmitri. Alexandra forbids her.

They, from there on, have a hard time speaking to each other, loving each other as a family.

Meredith is Reunited with her Old Flame

When she meets Kyron again for the first time in many years, the old feelings for him return. She realizes her love for him has never stopped. She is set up for a second encounter with him. They get together and talk about their love for each other, what happened, the years after. She wants to get back together with him.

Olga’s Gift From Her Father

Olga for her birthday is told of the prophecy given for her at her birth. She is given the necklace by her father. An exquisite piece of jewelry. She is told she is a beloved daughter. She swears she will never take it off.

This is a set up for the final scene where Olga and her family are murdered and a soldier rips the necklace from her neck and absconds with it.

Alexei Falls Ill, Near Death

Alexandra prays for her son constantly. She is worried. Her daughters can see this. Olga tells everyone she wants to be czar for Alexei. She is told she can never be czar. The Law. Women aren’t allowed. Olga gets angry.

And then Rasputin, with lust in his eyes for Alexandra tells her the way to save her son is to give him what he wants—that is sex with him. He is a total rotten sleazebag here. I think this says it all.

Meredith Tells her Daughter of the Divorce

Alex makes a confession after she tells her mother she’s known about her father and his affairs. She tells Meredith she’s also known about Kyron for awhile. And she’s totally okay with it. She read her diary a long time ago. At first, she was upset. But she totally understands now. And is fine with it. She wants her mother to be happy. Go for it.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE SEVEN LESSON THREE

FRAN’S ELEVATED EMOTION

WHAT I LEARNED: Taking my beatsheet, I just used it to see where I could intensify anything. It works to have something there to count on and work from. It’s building a great scaffold for my story.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

(hook)

1718: St. Petersburg, Russia, Public Square

Russia’s crowned Prince Alexei is tied up in before a crowd of onlookers. His father, Peter the Great, interrogates him. Alexei is accused of trying to overthrow his father’s government. He’s tortured to wrench a confession out of him and forced to step down, accept his little son Peter Alexeyevich as the new successor. Alexei does not succumb. He “confesses” with these words:

“I shall bring back the old people and choose myself new ones to my will. When I become sovereign, I shall live in Moscow and leave Saint Petersburg simply as any other town. I won’t launch any ships, I shall maintain troops only for defense, and I won’t make war on anyone. I shall be content with the old domains. In winter I shall live in Moscow and in summer in Loroslavl.”

SCENE ESSENCE: Peter is about to execute his own son and heir for treason.

INTENSIFIED: Alexei remains defiant to the end.

DUNGEON CELL

Alexei is taken back to his dungeon cell, thrown in, half dead from the beatings. Peter watches as the jailors lock up his son and leave.

Peter tells his son he does this for the future of the Romanov dynasty and for Russia.

He then weeps bitter tears, a broken man.

That night Alexei dies from the beatings.

WE HEAR “CUT!”

We are transported into the present day

Film Studio.

Jerome Kearns, director of the movie. Calls it a wrap for the day. Meredith, his wife and screenwriter, watches as Jerome fawns over his young star who plays Catherine, Peter’s wife in the movie. She silently knows something is going on between them. They make a huge display of it. Meredith treats it like she hasn’t noticed, but she’s had it with her husband’s affairs.

Jerome calls it a day. Meredith reminds Jerome, it’s their daughter Alexandra’s birthday. It’s also close to Christmas. She heard of a novelty shoppe in Moscow she’d like to go to to see if they can find something appropriate there for her to send home.

Meredith remembers the marital problems they’ve been, that it’s been going on for a long time now.

SCENE ESSENCE: Jerome, Meredith’s husband is making a mockery of their marriage by flaunting his affair openly in front of her.

INTENSIFIED: She makes a snarky remark about his midlife crises and his sugar honey. And how everyone knows how she’s being treated by him and of his financial woes.

Moscow city square, night. Snow’s coming down.

NOVELTY SHOPPE

WE HEAR A SHOPPE’S BELL. Shopkeeper greets them. They are immediately shown to the display of antique jewelry. Meredith decides to look around. She finds a display of old books. She begins to peruse. Camera is on an exquisite, priceless St. George’s necklace. Jerome’s shown a necklace once owned by the Grand Duchess Olga Romanov. Very expensive. As Meredith peruses shelves of old books also located in the shoppe, she finds one, takes it down, opens it. It’s in Russian. She’s able to read some of it.

She learns it’s the story of Olga Romanov, written many years ago by a friend, Valentina.

Jerome insists on buying the necklace. He plays the big man on campus. The big Hollywood producer. He throws his money around like it doesn’t matter.

Meredith remembers how much Jerome always loved to buy expensive things. She remembers the necklace he bought her. Very expensive. Trying to lure her away from Kyron’s memory.

Jerome buys the necklace. He leaves not waiting for Meredith, telling her he’s got an important business meeting he’s got to go to. He can’t be late.

Jerome’s not as compassionate or loving towards her as when they first got together.

Meredith, lagging behind, buys the book then follows out the door behind Jerome.

SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith is being treated like a second class citizen in her marriage.

INTENSIFIED: Make it known just how much she hates being in the marriage.

APARTMENT in Moscow, evening

At their apartment, Meredith settles down to read her book. She learns the diary was written by a friend and confidante of Olga’s when she was a prisoner at the Military Hospital, Tsarskoe Selo, a nurse at the hospital, Valentina.

We hear the words she wrote:

There is a prophecy written about Olga. How a young princess will only live to see her twenty third birthday and no longer. But there is nothing about how she will die.

Jerome is on the phone pretending it’s business. It’s a call from the starlet. He hangs up, tells Meredith he’s leaving. He gets another call. This time it’s a call from a person he owes a lot of money to. He muffles a yell, “I’ll get you the money.”

Jerome prepares to leave. He tells Meredith, “Don’t wait up for me.” Meredith remarks after he leaves, “I hadn’t planned on it.”

Once Jerome is gone, Meredith calls her agent. She asks her to find her a divorce lawyer. She’s had it with his affairs with his starlets. And she’s had it with the money men who keep calling for him to pay up his debts.

SCENE ESSENCE: Jerome feigns he has a business thing that can’t wait to be resolved. But Meredith knows he’s going to see his lover. She doesn’t care.

INTENSIFIED: But once Jerome is gone, she actually does care. She gets made, throws a fit. Calms down by doing what she loves instead. And resolving to fix the issue once and for all. By leaving him.

FILM STUDIO, ON SET NEXT DAY

The starlet is throwing a fit. She’s having a huge problem playing the scene as written. She wants her lines—her part—fixed to her liking.

Meredith and Jerome get into a heated discussion over the scene and its integrity. The starlet wants her part bigger and written her way. Meredith’s heard it before. She pretends to slough it off. But this time, the starlet insists. Meredith is told to write it as the starlet wants it or he will find someone who will. Stunned, Meredith goes home to try to do write the scene as the starlet wants it.

SCENE ESSENCE: Jerome and Meredith argue over the scene instead of what’s really happening as they work. Both are charged up over Jerome’s infidelities and Meredith’s resistance to just letting it happen and be compliant about it.

INTENSIFIED: the scene gets ugly. The starlet gets involved with the fight.

APARTMENT

Meredith tries to work on the scene. But it’s not meshing. She doesn’t want to do it. She takes a break. Returns to her book for some solace.

She learns about the necklace they bought in the shoppe—and who owned it.

ROMANOV PALACE

Olga, still a young girl, on the verge of becoming a woman, her father Czar Nicholas presents Olga with a present. A St. George’s medallion. She loves the gift from her father.

The story intrigues her. One of the young Romanov children who was murdered by the Bolsheviks during the war and revolution, owned the necklace. Given to her by her father Czar Nicholas II of Russia. She reads further.

And then the story about Olga’s first love, Pavel, a young officer in her father’s service on the royal yacht.

SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith begins reading her book and begins learning about the turbulent life of Grand Duchess Olga. It’s not so different from hers.

INTENSIFIED: Olga is desperate to be her own woman, to love, to live in the manner she wants. To be damned with protocol and custom. She wants to be czar someday like Catherine the Great.

ROMANOV FAMILY YACHT

Meredith also learns about a family outing on their yacht, Olga has fallen in love for the first time with Pavel, a young officer in her father’s service. She confides it to her sister Tatiana. She is told it can never be. He is beneath her station. They can never marry.

APARTMENT

The story reminds Meredith of the time she was a young girl in college. She was in love with another man, Kyron. She can’t stop thinking about Kyron, how much they were in love when they first met at college.

They couldn’t be together either, family, social protocols. Mother didn’t approve. They broke up. He moved away, half way around the world. She hadn’t heard from him in a long time. The only other thing she remembered. She started dating Jerome when Kyron left and they had broken up And left for parts unknown.

Jerome was also one of his rivals in college—in the film school they attended. Jerome hated her once upon a time boyfriend, too.

SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith remembers the love she once had for her old flame. And how her family didn’t approve of their relationship.

INTENSIFIED: She had searched awhile for Kyron, but was never able to find him. She eventually gave up on him and started dating Jerome.

STARLET’S APARTMENT

Jerome and the starlet meet for their rendezvous. It is a torrid affair. One That Meredith has known about for awhile now.

In his zeal to be with the starlet, his money men contact him and warn him how much he owes them and wants their money yesterday.

SCENE ESSENCE: Jerome is cheating on Meredith. His frustration with his everyday life is getting to him. His affair is hot, torrid and filled with anger to strike back at the world.

INTENSIFIED: His money men call him in the middle of everything which makes Jerome even more on edge.

APARTMENT

Meredith tries to call her agent. No answer. She waits. Reads a bit more of her book.

ROMANOV PALACE

The next thing we learn, Pavel, Olga’s love, is asking Czar Nicholas for the hand of one of the ladies in waiting at court.

Olga, overhearing the proposal, is brokenhearted—and feeling very betrayed because she thought he loved her, too.

She remembers the hour she saw in the trades Kyron had become engaged to a beautiful starlet. They looked so happy. That’s when she decided to accept Jerome’s proposal, even though she didn’t love him like she did Kyron. She thoght she could be happy with him. It broke her heart.

Meredith gets an anonymous call. Tells her where Jerome is and what he’s doing. She informs the person on the phone with her she already knows and hangs up on them.

Meredith begins to remember a time long ago when their daughter, Alexandra, was still a little girl. She was playing one day and fell out of a tree, breaking her leg. Jerome, in his zeal to helpher, accuses Meredith of indulging her too much, allowing her to put their daughter in danger like this.

Meredith remembers it all and how Jerome always made her feel about her being a mother—like she was incompetent. She thinks on the passage she read about Alexei.

ROMANOV PALACE, GRAND BALLROOM SOME TIME LATER

Olga’s debutante ball. She is now a young woman. She still wears her father’s necklace underneath her strands of pearls.

She is introduced to her distant cousin Dmitri—a possible suitor for the young princess. She falls in love with him almost immediately.

Alexei, her little brother falls, hurts himself. He falls very ill. He is a hemophiliac.

Mother Alexandra is also a zealot in blaming.

SCENE ESSENCE: Olga’s coming of age ball is where she meets her betrothed, Dmitri. She falls in love easily, quickly, intensely. Dmitri is no slouch. He is handsome and he knows it. And he is agreeable to becoming Olga’s betrothed.

INTENSIFIED: Alexei in his fall, accident, is close to death.

FILM STUDIO NEXT DAY

The starlet is having another fit. The new scene is still not to her liking. She goes to Jerome, complains. Meredith is then introduced to her (new working partner on the script), rather unexpectedly and instead of working with him she is forced to go home.

Jerome tells her he already knows she’s thinking about leaving the project. Maybe it’s a good thing if she does.

SCENE ESSENCE: Jerome is getting ready to fire Meredith if she doesn’t comply. Meredith is forced to meet her replacement.

INTENSIFIED: Meredith cannot express her emotions right now. She storms out to go home—in order to call her agent.

APARTMENT

When she returns, there’s a message waiting for her from her agent. When can you come home?

THE PALACE GROUNDS

The young couple spend time together and seal their love for one another. They tell Olga’s parents. The parents are happy enough for their daughter. A wedding is in the works.

Olga never wants to leave Russia, she tells Dmitri. Russia is her home. Dmitri promises her she will never have to.

SCENE ESSENCE: Olga and Dmitri make vows of love, pledges of marriage to one another.

INTENSIFIED: Olga’s emotion for Russia is intensified here. She loves Russia. She doesn’t want to leave ever. She wants to be czar. Dmitri supports her in every way.

APARTMENT

Meredith tries to settle down. Jerome knows. Maybe it is better she leave the project. Leave him. He was never the kind of husband she dreamed of anyway. She returns to her book to read the part about Alexei’s illness.

ALEXEI’S ROOM

Her son gravely ill, Alexandra prays for his recovery. But nothing can be done. They believe this time he’s going to die. Alexandra vows she will do anything, give anything for her son to live.

Enter the monk Rasputin, who tells the czarina, he can save her son. He is a very bad man in the eyes of everyone around the czarina. But she listens to him. She is desperate. Rasputin tells her he can save her son–for a price. Everyone on the czar’s household, by the reputation Rasputin has in the city, knows what price Rasputin asks of the czarina. She pays it.

In front of Olga and Tatiana and little Anastasia. Alexandra leaves with Rasputin. Olga has some idea what the price might be that her mother must pay for Rasputin’s help. She holds nothing but hatred for the monk. But her grief for her little brother is more.

Olga vows that if Alexei dies, she will become czar and take care of Russia for him. Olga is told outright she can never be czar because of the laws. Women do not become czars or leaders of their country. They only become wives of the men who serve as Russia’s czars.

Olga is more than upset with the answer. More than angry. Why can’t she be czar? She vows she will not be kept from helping her brother, from becoming ruler of Russia—just like Cahterine the Great was in her time

Meredith learns in that day and age, boys, men were more important (all important) than women. She feels like Olga, wanting to do more, be more and she is held back, told no, not to rock the boat. She thinks of Kyron again and how their relationship was ended. It was not done in polite society. Marrying someone not of your own kind. We stick to our own kind. You will not see him again. Meredith cannot accept it now, wishes she hadn’t then like Olga.

SCENE ESSENCE: Alexei is ill. He has hemophilia. He is at death’s door. Olga wishes to help Alexei by becoming czar in his place if he cannot fulfill his duties or if he dies. Olga is told she can never be czar because she is a woman. This angers Olga. She vows no matter what the law says. She WILL BE CZAR.

Alexandra, afraid of losing her son, agrees to have sex with Rasputin. That is his demand for saving Alexei’s life.

INTENSIFIED: Olga has a huge temper and it flares here when she is told she cannot be czar. She throws a fit and vows no matter what, she will become czar.

In Alexandra’s eagerness to save her son, she alienates her family and especially Olga.

APARTMENT

Meredith puts her book down. She feels for the young princess. She knows how it is for some people in this life. And she knows how the young princess died, fulfilling the prophecy written about her. Meredith tries to call her agent again. She needs to talk to someone about Jerome. She calls her agent, tells her of the book she found, the story inside it. She wants to write a screenplay about it. She also wants out of this project with Jerome. She feels he’s going to fire her anyway. She believes he’s carrying on another affair, this time with the young starlet. She wants out of everything. The agent loves the story and she tells her not to worry she’ll look around to see if anyone’s looking for a story like that. In the meantime, write a treatment for her to look at. And she’ll see about getting an appointment with the lawyer she found for her.

Meredith feels new strength in her resolve. She will be like Olga and fight for what she wants. She will tell Jerome tomorrow her decision. She is going to leave the project and go home to start her own, new project, without him without anyone telling her what to do and how to do it.

SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith is resolved to end her terrible life with Jerome and find a new life to live, one that she can be proud of and write her stories in.

INTENSIFIED: Her feelings for Olga and her story resonate. She wants to write the story more than anything. She contacts her agent with such enthusiasm, the agent can hear it over the phone. And she is resolved this time to go through with leaving Jerome for good.

NEW DAY

FILM STUDIO

More of the same. Jerome is shooting, having a bad day. He gets another call from his “money man”. He is on the verge of losing everything. The starlet’s also giving him another hard time about the scene rewrite. She doesn’t like that one either. Jerome orders Meredith to write the scene the way the starlet wants it. Meredith says but it’s not the way the history was lived. Jerome introduces fires her and calls for her replacement on set.

Meredith retorts. Tells Jerome she is not fired. She quits in her own way. And she is going home.

SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith and Jerome’s fighting reach a peak. She is fired from the job. She goes back to her apartment to pack and go home.

INTENSIFIED: Meredith tells Jerome she isn’t going to put up with his abuse any longer. She is filing for a divorce when she gets home.

APARTMENT

Home again, Meredith gets a call from her agent. She thinks she’s found someone who wants to film the script. Also, she has an appointment with her lawyer as soon as she gets home.

Meredith hops on a plane and heads home for the United States. Meredith feels relief and tells her agent, it’s the best news she’s gotten all day.

HOME AGAIN, RESTAURANT

Meredith meets with her daughter to tell her she’s going to divorce her father. She gives Alex the gift and then tells her it’s not working out with her father and her anymore. Alex sides with her mother. Tells her she’s known about the affairs, the arguments. The money. She’s okay with it. She wants her mother to be happy. Asks, when is she going to see her lawyer.

They are interrupted by Meredith’s agent and a man who’s with her. The man who wants to film the script. It’s Meredith’s old flame, Kyron, of many years ago–AND Jerome’s old rival.

Meredith is floored. She hasn’t seen this man in years. She hasn’t spoken to him. Kyron tells her he’s been divorced for a long time. It wasn’t right. It didn’t work out. He never forgot Meredith. Old feelings start to gush up insider all over again. Does she still love him after all this time, after all these years?

SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith and her daughter Alex are having lunch. Meredith wants to tell he about the divorce. But Alex already knows about her father. She supports her mother in this. She is also starting a new job. Her agent introduces her to her new partner in the restaurant: it’s her old flam, Kyron.

INTENSIFIED: Meredith’s feelings are renewed the moment she see Kyron. They are intensified when she learns he is her new partner on the project.

OFFICE

Meredith and her old flame talk about the new project they want to undertake. What intrigued him the most is the story of Rasputin and the conspiracy to assassinate him. A story as old as time. An intrigue that often happens in court settings.

Olga, he tells her, must have been heart broken when she learned Dmitri was part of the plot. And he was banished from Russia and from her seeing Olga again. Meredith adds.

They talk about their past relationship. And they talk about Jerome. Why it didn’t work out for them.

She remembers how her parents fought her on the idea of marrying such a man. It just wasn’t done in the polite society. Meredith says she’s sorry it happened. But her old flame realizes and tells her it wasn’t her fault. Maybe we can be–friends, he adds. She says yes. She would like that.

Kyron reminds her that was long ago, then, this is now. We no longer have to hide from the whims of polite society. They can work together. No one will blink. No one will accuse him of being the wrong cast. The wrong helper. He puts Meredith at ease.

SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith and Kyron, together, go over the script, the story. Discuss the parts of the story they like. They are spurred on to talk about what happened between them a long time ago.

INTENSIFIED: The relationship is one that is biracial and in their younger years, Meredith’s family did not approve of their relationship. Meredith had to give Kyron up to please her family. But she never wanted to do that. She was always in love with him. She looked for him for a long time after, tried to find him, but he could never be found. He tells her he didn’t want to be found. Not for a very long time because of their breakup.

ROMANOV PALACE

Dmitri and others of the royal palace gather together to plot against Rasputin. Rasputin has embarrassed the family. Defamed Alexandra and he must be dealt with accordingly. Dmitri is not sure it’s the right thing to do. Olga, the family. They depend on his helping Alexei. His cohorts talk him into it. They try to poison him with pastries, but that doesn’t work. Finally, in a desperate move they bludgeon him and throw him into the river to drown him. Rasputin miraculously escapes the river, but dies anyway.

Alexandra learns of the plot and how Rasputin died. She banishes Dmitri from the court, from Russia and bars him from ever seeing Olga again, breaking Olga’s heart.

SCENE ESSENCE: Court intrigue. The plot against Rasputin is carried out. But it backfires. Dmitri, the others are caught. Dmitri is banished from Russia and forbidden to return or marry Olga.

INTENSIFIED: Olga is angry with her mother. They have a knockdown dragout fight over Dmitri’s banishment.

HOME

Meredith is home again. She begins work on a part of her screenplay.

WAR IN EUROPE

World War I begins in Europe. Russia is affected, devastated by the war. The rise of the Bolsheviks take place. There is a plot to overthrow the czar and take over.

Nicholas is remorseful. He sees the dire straits Russia is in. He hands the reigns of government over to his brother Michael.

SCENE ESSENCE: As Meredith begins work on her screenplay, she learns about the war in Europe the toll it’s taken on Russia. And the plot to overthrow the czar. Nicholas turns over this throne to his younger brother Michael.

INTENSIFIED: There is much hurt, starving, depravity in the war Russia experiences. Nicholas is torn between his rule, and giving it away either to his brother or the Bolsheviks. He can do neither right now. His worry is Alexei and his whole family.

HOME

Jerome is home again. The film is complete. He wants to see Alex. Meredith tells him she’s not here. She’s away. He missed Christmas, her birthday. But Jerome doesn’t want to hear any of it. He only wants to know why he was served with papers to dissolve their partnership—AND their marriage. Meredith forces him to listen. For many reasons, but mostly his affairs and treating her like dirt. She already packed this things. They are at his club waiting for him there.

There is a huge argument between them. Jerome brings up the fact that he’s heard Kyron’s back in town. He accuses Meredith of wanting a divorce because Kyron happens to be back into her life. He accuses her of being unfaithful, other things. She returns the jab about how many starlets has it taken for me to wake up to your little affairs. And yes. She also knows about the money situation. She’s not going to be a part of paying back gangsters.

Jerome leaves—very unhappy. He warns her it is not going to be an easy settlement or divorce. Be prepared to go to court.

SCENE ESSENCE: Jerome returns home. But there is a huge argument. Meredith has packed his things and moved them out. She is serious about her divorce.

INTENSIFIED: Meredith has moved Jerome’s things to his club and she has vowed to go through with the divorce, even if it means a nasty court battle.

ROMANOV PALACE

Olga and Alexandra have it out. Olga is angry Dmitri had been sent away. And she’s angry with her mother to have let Rasputin ruin her reputation like he did. Their argument is interrupted by the Bolsheviks taking the family captive. They are taken to

TSARKSKOE SELO

A military hospital. There the family works to take care of the wounded soldiers. This is where she meets her Valentina. They become friends.

SCENE ESSENCE: Olga and Alexandra have a huge argument over Rasputin. Their arugment is interrupted by the Bolsheviks who take the Romanovs to the military hospital where they will be held as hostages and work there to treat the wounded soldiers.

INTENSIFIED: The Romanovs are treated extremely poorly by the Bolsheviks.

OLD FLAME’S OFFICE

Meredith and her old flame discuss part of the script she’s working on. The old flame urges her to use the story of Olga to cleanse herself from Jerome. Some of Olga’s woes sound very much like Meredith’s. She has a hard time acclimating herself to the work at the hospital. It’s not her. She gets into arguments with the staff, her supervisor. The war, and the war with her mother still raging, isn’t helping.

Meredith and her old flame go out on the town. Wine, dine, dance, discuss their past relationship. They start to rekindle the feelings they have for one another. They make love together. Like old times. The argument she had with her family against her loving her old flame disappears.

SCENE ESSENCE: Kyron and Meredith finally get together. It starts out as a working relationship. It quickly turns into a full blown affair.

INTENSIFIED: The affair is intense and a happy one for Meredith. She is finally back with Kyron, she has defied her family’s objections. She is happy.

HOME

Meredith takes her old flame’s advice and uses her scripts to cleanse herself of her troubles with Jerome.

Olga has a hard time of it, trying to be a nurse. She loses it in the OR and she is given a desk job to do. Until there is a major battle and many soldiers come in wounded. She is forced to take care of some of the soldiers. She is assigned to a Dmitri. She nurses him, and a few others in the room with him, back to health. Seemingly they fall in love.

SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith uses Olga’s story to cleanse her bad feelings from her. Olga at the hospital befriends Valentina, another nurse there. She finds herself assigned to some wounded soldiers during an intense battle. She falls in love with one of them, Dmitri. It appears Dmitri has fallen in love with her, too.

INTENSIFIED: It is a very emotional time for Olga, not home. At odds with her family, the people she works with, the Bolsheviks. It deepens her love for Dmitri all the more. He is forbidden fruit. Beneath her station. Yet, she thinks this Dmitri will make her happy.

COURTROOM

The divorce and the dissolution of the partnership is a battle royale.

Jerome brings up her “affair: with Kyron. And countersues for a great deal of money.

It drains Meredith of her emotions. Everything comes out, including the affairs Jerome had over the years. And much of the abuse Meredith had to suffer because of Jerome’s actions, unfaithfulness.

And her time with Kyron when they were in college.

SCENE ESSENCE: AS IS

INTENSIFIED: AS IS

TSARSKOE SELO MILITARY HOSPITAL

Olga writes another love letter to Dmitri. He is well now. Able to go back to the front. She remembers the vows they shared between them. The intimacy—vows of unspoken love.

Dmitri, fully recovered, leaves the hospital with a few of his friends. But not before he gets Olga’s last letter. They go out to celebrate.

TAVERN

Dmitri and his friends get drunk. He shares the letters Olga wrote to him while he recuperated. They make fun of her and the letters.—and of her station, now just a poor nurse taking care of the wounded in a military hospital. Quite a fall from grace.

SCENE ESSENCE: AS IS

INTENSIFIED: AS IS

TSARSKOE SELO

Olga learns of the betrayal. She tells her father. He is understanding. He tells her one day the war will be over and they can get back to their lives. The Bolsheviks will be punished in time. And Dmitri will be punished for his insolence. That isn’t enough for Olga. She confronts Dmitiri and admonishes him for his cruelty. Tells him he will pay for his sin against her.

But, sadly, it is not to be. By this time, the Bolsheviks enter the hospital and take the family away to another, hidden location.

Valentina is devastated. She has a horrid feeling she will never see her friend again.

SCENE ESSENCE: Olga learns of her betrayal. The war will soon be over and the people responsible will be punished. Olga confronts Dmitri.

INTENSIFIED: It is an intense fight between them. Olga’s ire is over the top. She says he is never to step foot in court ever or ever to see her again. If he does it will mean his death.

COURTROOM

Meredith gladly settles so she can win her divorce and get the partnership with Jerome dissolved. She and her old flame go out to celebrate.

THE FILMS ARE FINALLY WINDING UP. Meredith and Old flame watch the final scenes together in the editing room.

SCENE ESSENCE: AS IS

INTENSIFIED: THEY ARE ELATED. HAPPY. THEY CELEBRATE.

THE LAST CELL FOR THE ROMANOVS

The Romanovs are held hostage only for a short while. Away from everyone. No one knows where they are. They do not know their fate, what will happen to them. Until, one day, the Bolsheviks return into the cell and murder them. It is a brutal murder, a brutal scene.

The Bolshevik soldiers rob them of their possessions. One young soldier stands over Olga’s body. He sees the St. George medal, rips it from her neck, pockets it before leaving.

SCENE ESSENCE: AS IS

INTENSIFIED: AS IS

We are transported back to

OLD FLAME’S FILM STUDIO

Meredith and the old flame are ecstatic. The scene is perfect. The edit’s perfect. The movie’s finally finished.

They go out to celebrate.

SCENE ESSENCE: AS IS

INTENSIFIED: AS IS

MONTHS PASS

Jerome’s film and Meredith’s film are out. They are being viewed in a major film festival

FILM FESTIVAL

Meredith gets rave reviews. Many talk Golden Globe, OSCAR.

Jerome’s film is not well received.

Jealous of Meredith’s work. He tries to downplay it then outright sabotage it and her good good.

He bad mouths it, calls in a few favors to try to get her film to fail in the nominations. BUT …

OSCARS

Meredith is up for an Oscar–best screenplay. Even though Jerome tried, she wins.

Drunk, Jerome gets up, when Meredith wins and tries to accept her award, he makes a spectacle of himself in front of the whole audience. Meredith bows out gracefully despite the horrid upstaging. She leaves Jerome to wallow in his pity party.

Her old flame is happy, too, as producer. The film is almost a clean sweep. He tells her he wants to work with her again on a new project.

Meredith gets another surprise. The actor who played Nicholas comes to her and tells her how much he enjoyed her script and her being a major factor in his winning his award and getting much praise for his work. Old Flame knows about this and will be heading up the new project. The actor asks Meredith out to dinner, perhaps to discuss their possibly working together. Meredith is ecstatic. Her career is finally taking off and becoming a major factor in her life. Along with rekindling her romance with her old flame.

SCENE ESSENCE: Meredith’s work is praised. It’s up for an Oscar. It wins, sweeps the Oscars. Meredith and Kyron are happy. They plan on working again in the near future. The actor who played Nicholas in her movie wants her to work on his next film he’s doing.

INTENSIFIED: Meredith can’t wait to get started. She and Kyron are happily together again.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE SEVEN LESSON ONE

FRAN LOVES CHARACTER DEPTH

WHAT I LEARNED: Just keep the brain engaged. Sooner or later the secret will out!

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

At the beginning of their relationship Meredith and Jerome use each other for their own purpose and to get ahead.

Meredith marries Jerome to get back at Kryon for leaving her.

Jerome was jealous of Kyron. He marries Meredith to get even with Kyron, to “win” over him.

Jerome is into a mafia style money lender group

Meredith has a deep seeded longing for the past. Would rather live in the past.

Jerome is deep into a mid-life crisis.

Meredith has a familial link with the Romanovs, Russians. She also needed an excuse to end her relationship with Jerome that was on the rocks before the blow-up at the studios.

She lost heart in the project, too.

Their daughter Alex is really Kyron’s. She kept that secret hidden for all these years from Jerome.

She secretly pines away for her lost love.

Jerome used Meredith as a cover for his penchant for very young starlets.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE SEVEN LESSON TWO

FRAN’S DRAMATIC REAVEALS

WHAT I LEARNED: Again, just keep plugging away at it, little by little. And ignore your negative feelings that will crop up from time to time. Eventually, they will go away. Just ignore them.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

DEMAND: (Hook) Story about Russia. Alexei must confess his treason. He must turn over the government to his infant son.

REVEAL: Story about Peter the Great’s family. Alexei refuses the demand. He dies in prison.

DRAMATICS: A foreshadowing of things to come for the royal family in the future.

DEMAND: (present day) Meredith must tow the line, whatever her husband Jerome wants. She must do. It is not a 50/50 marriage or working partnership.

REVEAL: Jerome likes to throw a lot of money around to make it look like he’s not financially in trouble. There are marital problems and work related problems within the marriage and partnership.

DRAMATICS: It’s snowing in Moscow. It’s near Christmas. Jerome is rude to his wife. He treats her like a subordinate, a hired hand instead of his wife.

DEMAND: Meredith is feeling very alone, very unloved. Jerome’s demands are becoming a burden to her.

REVEAL: She is thinking about getting a divorce, leaving the partnership

DRAMATICS: She calls her agent, asks for help. She says she wants to strike out on her own, write a new script on her own. Or she wants a new partnership, one that she can feel an equal in.

DEMAND: At the film studio, the starlet is demanding. She needs to be catered to. She needs to be treated special. She demands her role be changed, beefed up, written to her liking.

REVEAL: Meredith refuses. She says she cannot compromise the historical truth about her story.

DRAMATICS: Jerome gets belligerent toward Meredith. He tells her he will fire her if she doesn’t complay with the starlet’s demands.

DEMAND: Meredith tries to comply with Jerome’s demands and the demands of the starlet.

REVEAL: But she cannot. We learn about the necklace Jerome bougth for their daughter. The history of it. We begin to learn the story about Olga, Grand Duchess of Russia.

DRAMATICS: She easily falls in love—with the wrong man. The necklace is also a precious gift given to her by her father, Czar Nicholas II

DEMAND: Meredith has known about the affair. She stands up to Jerome. She says she’s not fired. She quits. She goes home to find she’s already up for a new job.

REVEAL: It is her old flame from college, Kyron.

DRAMATICS: She’s still in love with him. She asks her agent to find a good lawyer for her. She wants a divorce.

DEMAND: Meredith makes demands on herself to protect her daughter. She does not want her to know about her father’s affairs, etc.

REVEAL: But Alex, a grown woman, already knows about her father’s affairs. She tells her mother it’s okay. She wants her to be happy.

DRAMATICS: This moment is the moment the agent brings Meredith’s old flame back into her life in a big entrance in the restaurant where they are at. Meredith discovers she still has feelings for him when the finally meet again.

DEMAND: Olga ia heartbroken, the demands of the world are taking its toll on the family. The soldiers of the war have taken the family hostage to work as servants in the military hospital caring for wounded soldiers.

REVEAL: Olga befriends a nurse, Valentina, who is the one who writes Olga’s story.

DRAMATICS: Olga falls in love with a soldier, Dmitri. But he feigns he’s in love with her as well. Nicholas is forced to abdicate the throne and hand it over to his brother Michael.

DEMAND: Meredith re members her college days, the demands of her family. She cannot marry Kyron, social “protocols” and racism. She gives in.

REVEAL: She’s still in love with Kyron after all these years.

DRAMATICS: Jerome is clearly cheating on Meredith with the starlet, star of his movie.

DEMAND: Alexandra demands her family accept Raputin. It is Rasputin only who can save Alexei, her son and heir to the throne. Even though he is hated and not trusted by everyone.

REVEAL: Rasputin’s demand for saving Alexei. He has sex with the czarina.

DRAMATICS: Alexandra goes with Rasputin before her son and everyone in her family, to complay with Rasputin’s wishes.

DEMAND: Olga is being a difficult, royal daughter. She must marry, be a dutiful daughter. She cannot be czar. Law prohibits it.

REVEAL: We learn more about Olga’s life and the life of the Russian family. Alexei her little brother is severely ill. There is also a new love in her life, Dmitri.

DRAMATICS: Dmitri gets involved with a plot to assassinate Rasputin, which will anger Alexandra, Olga’s mother, Alexei’s mother. Dmitri is banished from the kingdom, Olga is forbidden to marry him.

DEMAND: Meredith refuses the demands of Jerome. She is fired. She needs to go home.

REVEAL: When she returns to the apartment to pack, she learns there is already a new job waiting for her. Her script idea was a success. And she’s getting a new partner.

DRAMATICS: Her new partner is her old love, Kyron. She is still in love with him.

DEMAND: Even though Olga begs for her mother to bring Dmitri back, she must comply with the wishes of her mother.

REVEAL: Alexandra is very unhappy Rasputin was assassinated. Even though it was told to her time and time again he was detrimental to the welfare of the family and Russia.

DRAMATICS: Alexandra and Olga have a humongous fight over the banishment of Dmitri.

DEMAND: Jerome fights the divorce in court.

REVEAL: Jerome is jealous of Kyron, always has been.

DRAMATICS: Palys out in a courtroom battle over the divorce settlement.

DEMAND: Olga has a very hard time being a nurse. She cannot stand being there and taking care of the soldiers.

REVEAL: She falls in love with one of the wounded soldiers she’s caring for.

DRAMATICS: As the battle plays out and many soldiers are seriously wounded. The one soldier, Dmitri, Olga falls in love with, pretends to have fallen in love with her, too.

DEMAND: Jerome fights to keeps his partnership with Meredith in tact.

REVEAL: Jerome accuses Meredith of having an affair with Kyron. She hasn’t been.

DRAMATICS: Courtroom battle rages on over the divorce, partnership.

DEMAND: Dmitri is returned to his regiment as soon as he’s recovered, demands of the war.

REVEAL: Olga has written letters to Dmitri, revealing her passionate feelings for him.

DRAMATICS: Dmitri, in a drunken stupor, shares Olga’s letters with his regiment. They make blatant, bold fun of her. So does Dmitri. Olga learns of Dmitri’s indiscretions against her and tells her father. She is angered and confronts Dmitri as the Grand Duchess would.

DEMAND: Bolsheviks enter the hospital and take the Romanovs hostage again, taking them to a different location.

REVEAL: The Bolsheviks aren’t going to keep them hostage. They take them to this place to assassinate them all.

DRAMATICS: The dramatic abuse and mishandling of the Romanov family from their seizure out of the hospital to their new holding place and dramatic murders. Olga’s necklace is taken by one of the soldiers.

DEMAND: Meredith finally wins her battle with Jerome. Jerome is forced to comply.

REVEAL: Kyron is more than pleased with their work. They celebrate. Months pass. Their movie is nominated for the big awards.

DRAMATICS: OSCAR Night. Meredith wins big. Jerome loses even bigger.

Along with kudos, Meredith finally gets to be with her old love and gets a new assignment, a new film to work on.

[Frances Emerson]

Still waiting for feedback. Have exchanged, but no word yet. Have’t been able to give feedback either. My writing partner just hasn’t gotten back to me yet. No matter. I can’t wait any longer. I need to carry on and work on my writing. When I sit like this and not write, I atrophy and things just don’t get done. So, I’m moving on whether we should or not.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE SIX LESSON FOUR

FRAN’S SOLVED SCENE PROBLEMS

WHAT I LEARNED:

As I go along, I’m learning how to connect and tie stories together. Learning how to put more conflict in the pages. Learning how to make my characters stronger and more likeable or relatable. I still have a long way to go on this one. But it’s starting to take better shape. I’m still not quite happy with all of it, but I see how it is getting better. Just need to keep working at it until I can get it right.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

HOOK:

1718: St. Petersburg, Russia, Public Square

Russia’s crowned Prince Alexei is tied up in before a crowd of onlookers. His father, Peter the Great, interrogates him. Alexei is accused of trying to overthrow his father’s government. He’s tortured to wrench a confession out of him and forced to step down, accept his little son Peter Alexeyevich as the new successor. Alexei does not succumb. He “confesses” with these words:

“I shall bring back the old people and choose myself new ones to my will. When I become sovereign, I shall live in Moscow and leave Saint Petersburg simply as any other town. I won’t launch any ships, I shall maintain troops only for defense, and I won’t make war on anyone. I shall be content with the old domains. In winter I shall live in Moscow and in summer in Loroslavl.”

DUNGEON CELL

Alexei is taken back to his dungeon cell, thrown in, half dead from the beatings. Peter watches as the jailors lock up his son and leave.

Peter tells his son he does this for the future of the Romanov dynasty and for Russia.

He then weeps bitter tears, a broken man.

That night Alexei dies from the beatings.

WE HEAR “CUT!”

We are transported into the present day

Film Studio.

Jerome Kearns, director of the movie. Calls it a wrap for the day. Meredith, his wife and screenwriter, watches as Jerome fawns over his young star who plays Catherine, Peter’s wife in the movie. She silently knows something is going on between them. They make a huge display of it. Meredith treats it like she hasn’t noticed, but she’s had it with her husband’s affairs.

Jerome calls it a day. Meredith reminds Jerome, it’s their daughter Alexandra’s birthday. It’s also close to Christmas. She heard of a novelty shoppe in Moscow she’d like to go to to see if they can find something appropriate there for her to send home.

Meredith remembers the marital problems they’ve been, that it’s been going on for a long time now.

Moscow city square, night. Snow’s coming down.

NOVELTY SHOPPE

WE HEAR A SHOPPE’S BELL. Shopkeeper greets them. They are immediately shown to the display of antique jewelry. Meredith decides to look around. She finds a display of old books. She begins to peruse. Camera is on an exquisite, priceless St. George’s necklace. Jerome’s shown a necklace once owned by the Grand Duchess Olga Romanov. Very expensive. As Meredith peruses shelves of old books also located in the shoppe, she finds one, takes it down, opens it. It’s in Russian. She’s able to read some of it.

She learns it’s the story of Olga Romanov, written many years ago by a friend, Valentina.

Jerome insists on buying the necklace. He plays the big man on campus. The big Hollywood producer. He throws his money around like it doesn’t matter.

Meredith remembers how much Jerome always loved to buy expensive things. She remembers the necklace he bought her. Very expensive. Trying to lure her away from Kyron’s memory.

Jerome buys the necklace. He leaves not waiting for Meredith, telling her he’s got an important business meeting he’s got to go to. He can’t be late.

Jerome’s not as compassionate or loving towards her as when they first got together.

Meredith, lagging behind, buys the book then follows out the door behind Jerome.

APARTMENT in Moscow, evening

At their apartment, Meredith settles down to read her book. She learns the diary was written by a friend and confidante of Olga’s when she was a prisoner at the Military Hospital, Tsarskoe Selo, a nurse at the hospital, Valentina.

We hear the words she wrote:

There is a prophecy written about Olga. How a young princess will only live to see her twenty third birthday and no longer. But there is nothing about how she will die.

Jerome is on the phone pretending it’s business. It’s a call from the starlet. He hangs up, tells Meredith he’s leaving. He gets another call. This time it’s a call from a person he owes a lot of money to. He muffles a yell, “I’ll get you the money.”

Jerome prepares to leave. He tells Meredith, “Don’t wait up for me.” Meredith remarks after he leaves, “I hadn’t planned on it.”

Once Jerome is gone, Meredith calls her agent. She asks her to find her a divorce lawyer. She’s had it with his affairs with his starlets. And she’s had it with the money men who keep calling for him to pay up his debts.

FILM STUDIO, ON SET NEXT DAY

The starlet is throwing a fit. She’s having a huge problem playing the scene as written. She wants her lines—her part—fixed to her liking.

Meredith and Jerome get into a heated discussion over the scene and its integrity. The starlet wants her part bigger and written her way. Meredith’s heard it before. She pretends to slough it off. But this time, the starlet insists. Meredith is told to write it as the starlet wants it or he will find someone who will. Stunned, Meredith goes home to try to do write the scene as the starlet wants it.

APARTMENT

Meredith tries to work on the scene. But it’s not meshing. She doesn’t want to do it. She takes a break. Returns to her book for some solace.

She learns about the necklace they bought in the shoppe—and who owned it.

ROMANOV PALACE

Olga, still a young girl, on the verge of becoming a woman, her father Czar Nicholas presents Olga with a present. A St. George’s medallion. She loves the gift from her father.

The story intrigues her. One of the young Romanov children who was murdered by the Bolsheviks during the war and revolution, owned the necklace. Given to her by her father Czar Nicholas II of Russia. She reads further.

And then the stor about Olga’s first love, Pavel, a young officer in her father’s service on the royal yacht.

ROMANOV FAMILY YACHT

Meredith also learns about a family outing on their yacht, Olga has fallen in love for the first time with Pavel, a young officer in her father’s service. She confides it to her sister Tatiana. She is told it can never be. He is beneath her station. They can never marry.

APARTMENT

The story reminds Meredith of the time she was a young girl in college. She was in love with another man, Kyron. She can’t stop thinking about Kyron, how much they were in love when they first met at college.

They couldn’t be together either, family, social protocols. Mother didn’t approve. They broke up. He moved away, half way around the world. She hadn’t heard from him in a long time. The only other thing she remembered. She started dating Jerome when Kyron left and they had broken up And left for parts unknown.

Jerome was also one of his rivals in college—in the film school they attended. Jerome hated her once upon a time boyfriend, too.

STARLET’S APARTMENT

Jerome and the starlet meet for their rendezvous. It is a torrid affair. One That Meredith has known about for awhile now.

In his zeal to be with the starlet, his money men contact him and warn him how much he owes them and wants their money yesterday.

APARTMENT

Meredith tries to call her agent. No answer. She waits. Reads a bit more of her book.

ROMANOV PALACE

The next thing we learn, Pavel, Olga’s love, is asking Czar Nicholas for the hand of one of the ladies in waiting at court.

Olga, overhearing the proposal, is brokenhearted—and feeling very betrayed because she thought he loved her, too.

She remembers the hour she saw in the trades Kyron had become engaged to a beautiful starlet. They looked so happy. That’s when she decided to accept Jerome’s proposal, even though she didn’t love him like she did Kyron. She thoght she could be happy with him. It broke her heart.

Meredith gets an anonymous call. Tells her where Jerome is and what he’s doing. She informs the person on the phone with her she already knows and hangs up on them.

Meredith begins to remember a time long ago when their daughter, Alexandra, was still a little girl. She was playing one day and fell out of a tree, breaking her leg. Jerome, in his zeal to helpher, accuses Meredith of indulging her too much, allowing her to put their daughter in danger like this.

Meredith remembers it all and how Jerome always made her feel about her being a mother—like she was incompetent. She thinks on the passage she read about Alexei.

ROMANOV PALACE, GRAND BALLROOM SOME TIME LATER

Olga’s debutante ball. She is now a young woman. She still wears her father’s necklace underneath her strands of pearls.

She is introduced to her distant cousin Dmitri—a possible suitor for the young princess. She falls in love with him almost immediately.

Alexei, her little brother fall, hurts himself. He falls very ill. He is a hemophiliac.

Mother Alexandra is also a zealot in blaming.

FILM STUDIO NEXT DAY

The starlet is having another fit. The new scene is still not to her liking. She goes to Jerome, complains. Meredith is then introduced to her (new working partner on the script), rather unexpectedly and instead of working with him she is forced to go home.

Jerome tells her he already knows she’s thinking about leaving the project. Maybe it’s a good thing if she does.

APARTMENT

When she returns, there’s a message waiting for her from her agent. When can you come home?

THE PALACE GROUNDS

The young couple spend time together, and seal their love for one another. They tell Olga’s parents. The parents are happy enough for their daughter. A wedding is in the works.

Olga never wants to leave Russia, she tells Dmitri. Russia is her home. Dmitri promises her she will never have to.

APARTMENT

Meredith tries to settle down. Jerome knows. Maybe it is better she leave the project. Leave him. He was never the kind of husband she dreamed of anyway. She returns to her book to read the part about Alexei’s illness.

ALEXEI’S ROOM

Her son gravely ill, Alexandra prays for his recovery. But nothing can be done. They believe this time he’s going to die. Alexandra vows she will do anything, give anything for her son to live.

Enter the monk Rasputin, who tells the czarina, he can save her son. He is a very bad man in the eyes of everyone around the czarina. But she listens to him. She is desperate. Rasputin tells her he can save her son–for a price. Everyone on the czar’s household, by the reputation Rasputin has in the city, knows what price Rasputin asks of the czarina. She pays it.

In front of Olga and Tatiana and little Anastasia. Alexandra leaves with Rasputin. Olga has some idea what the price might be that her mother must pay for Rasputin’s help. She holds nothing but hatred for the monk. But her grief for her little brother is more.

Olga vows that if Alexei dies, she will become czar and take care of Russia for him. Olga is told outright she can never be czar because of the laws. Women do not become czars or leaders of their country. They only become wives of the men who serve as Russia’s czars.

Olga is more than upset with the answer. More than angry. Why can’t she be czar? She vows she will not be kept from helping her brother, from becoming ruler of Russia—just like Cahterine the Great was in her time

Meredith learns in that day and age, boys, men were more important (all important) than women. She feels like Olga, wanting to do more, be more and she is held back, told no, not to rock the boat. She thinks of Kyron again and how their relationship was ended. It was not done in polite society. Marrying someone not of your own kind. We stick to our own kind. You will not see him again. Meredith cannot accept it now, wishes she hadn’t then like Olga.

APARTMENT

Meredith puts her book down. She feels for the young princess. She knows how it is for some people in this life. And she knows how the young princess died, fulfilling the prophecy written about her. Meredith tries to call her agent again. She needs to talk to someone about Jerome. She calls her agent, tells her of the book she found, the story inside it. She wants to write a screenplay about it. She also wants out of this project with Jerome. She feels he’s going to fire her anyway. She believes he’s carrying on another affair, this time with the young starlet. She wants out of everything. The agent loves the story and she tells her not to worry she’ll look around to see if anyone’s looking for a story like that. In the meantime, write a treatment for her to look at. And she’ll see about getting an appointment with the lawyer she found for her.

Meredith feels new strength in her resolve. She will be like Olga and fight for what she wants. She will tell Jerome tomorrow her decision. She is going to leave the project and go home to start her own, new project, without him without anyone telling her what to do and how to do it.

NEW DAY

FILM STUDIO

More of the same. Jerome is shooting, having a bad day. He gets another call from his “money man”. He is on the verge of losing everything. The starlet’s also giving him another hard time about the scene rewrite. She doesn’t like that one either. Jerome orders Meredith to write the scene the way the starlet wants it. Meredith says but it’s not the way the history was lived. Jerome introduces fires her and calls for her replacement on set.

Meredith retorts. Tells Jeromes she is not fired. She quits in her own way. And she is going home.

APARTMENT

Home again, Meredith gets a call from her agent. She thinks she’s found someone who wants to film the script. Also, she has an appointment with her lawyer as soon as she gets home.

Meredith hops on a plane and heads home for the United States. Meredithh feels relief and tells her agent, it’s the best news she’s gotten all day.

HOME AGAIN, RESTAURANT

Meredith meets with her daughter to tell her she’s going to divorce her father. She gives Alex the gift and then tells her it’s not working out with her father and her anymore. Alex sides with her mother. Tells her she’s known about the affairs, the arguments. The money. She’s okay with it. She wants her mother to be happy. Asks, when is she going to see her lawyer.

They are interrupted by Meredith’s agent and a man who’s with her. The man who wants to film the script. It’s Meredith’s old flame, Kyron, of many years ago–AND Jerome’s old rival.

Meredith is floored. She hasn’t seen this man in years. She hasn’t spoken to him. Kyron tells her he’s been divorced for a long time. It wasn’t right. It didn’t work out. He never forgot Meredith. Old feelings start to gush up insider all over again. Does she still love him after all this time, after all these years?

OFFICE

Meredith and her old flame talk about the new project they want to undertake. What intrigued him the most is the story of Rasputin and the conspiracy to assassinate him. A story as old as time. An intrigue that often happens in court settings.

Olga, he tells her, must have been heart broken when she learned Dmitri was part of the plot. And he was banished from Russia and from her seeing Olga again. Meredith adds.

They talk about their past relationship. And they talk about Jerome. Why it didn’t work out for them.

She remembers how her parents fought her on the idea of marrying such a man. It just wasn’t done in the polite society. Meredith says she’s sorry it happened. But her old flame realizes and tells her it wasn’t her fault. Maybe we can be–friends, he adds. She says yes. She would like that.

Kyron reminds her that was long ago, then, this is now. We no longer have to hide from the whims of polite society. They can work together. No one will blink. No one will accuse him of being the wrong cast. The wrong helper. He puts Meredith at ease.

ROMANOV PALACE

Dmitri and others of the royal palace gather together to plot against Rasputin. Rasputin has embarrassed the family. Defamed Alexandra and he must be dealt with accordingly. Dmitri is not sure it’s the right thing to do. Olga, the family. They depend on his helping Alexei. His cohorts talk him into it. They try to poison him with pastries, but that doesn’t work. Finally, in a desperate move they bludgeon him and throw him into the river to drown him. Rasputin miraculously escapes the river, but dies anyway.

Alexandra learns of the plot and how Rasputin died. She banishes Dmitri from the court, from Russia and bars him from ever seeing Olga again, breaking Olga’s heart.

HOME

Meredith is home again. She begins work on a part of her screenplay.

WAR IN EUROPE

World War I begins in Europe. Russia is affected, devastated by the war. The rise of the Bolsheviks take place. There is a plot to overthrow the czar and take over.

Nicholas is remorseful. He sees the dire straits Russia is in. He hands the reigns of government over to his brother Michael.

HOME

Jerome is home again. The film is complete. He wants to see Alex. Meredith tells him she’s not here. She’s away. He missed Christmas, her birthday. But Jerome doesn’t want to hear any of it. He only wants to know why he was served with papers to dissolve their partnership—AND their marriage. Meredith forces him to listen. For many reasons, but mostly his affairs and treating her like dirt. She already packed this things. They are at his club waiting for him there.

There is a huge argument between them. Jerome brings up the fact that he’s heard Kyron’s back in town. He accuses Meredith of wanting a divorce because Kyron happens to be back into her life. He accuses her of being unfaithful, other things. She returns the jab about how many starlets has it taken for me to wake up to your little affairs. And yes. She also knows about the money situation. She’s not going to be a part of paying back gangsters.

Jerome leaves—very unhappy. He warns her it is not going to be an easy settlement or divorce. Be prepared to go to court.

ROMANOV PALACE

Olga and Alexandra have it out. Olga is angry Dmitri had been sent away. And she’s angry with her mother to have let Rasputin ruin her reputation like he did. Their argument is interrupted by the Bolsheviks taking the family captive. They are taken to

TSARKSKOE SELO

A military hospital. There the family works to take care of the wounded soldiers. This is where she meets her Valentina. They become friends.

OLD FLAME’S OFFICE

Meredith and her old flame discuss part of the script she’s working on. The old flame urges her to use the story of Olga to cleanse herself from Jerome. Some of Olga’s woes sound very much like Meredith’s. She has a hard time acclimating herself to the work at the hospital. It’s not her. She gets into arguments with the staff, her supervisor. The war, and the war with her mother still raging, isn’t helping.

Meredith and her old flame go out on the town. Wine, dine, dance, discuss their past relationship. They start to rekindle the feelings they have for one another. They make love together. Like old times. The argument she had with her family against her loving her old flame disappears.

HOME

Meredith takes her old flame’s advice and uses her scripts to cleanse herself of her troubles with Jerome.

Olga has a hard time of it, trying to be a nurse. She loses it in the OR and she is given a desk job to do. Until there is a major battle and many soldiers come in wounded. She is forced to take care of some of the soldiers. She is assigned to a Dmitri. She nurses him, and a few others in the room with him, back to health. Seemingly they fall in love.

COURTROOM

The divorce and the dissolution of the partnership is a battle royale.

Jerome brings up her “affair: with Kyron. And countersues for a great deal of money.

It drains Meredith of her emotions. Everything comes out, including the affairs Jerome had over the years. And much of the abuse Meredith had to suffer because of Jerome’s actions, unfaithfulness.

And her time with Kyron when they were in college.

TSARSKOE SELO MILITARY HOSPITAL

Olga writes another love letter to Dmitri. He is well now. Able to go back to the front. She remembers the vows they shared between them. The intimacy—vows of unspoken love.

Dmitri, fully recovered, leave the hospital with a few of his friends. But not before he gets Olga’s last letter. They go out to celebrate.

TAVERN

Dmitri and his friends get drunk. He shares the letters Olga wrote to him while he recuperated. They make fun of her and the letters.—and of her station, now just a poor nurse taking care of the wounded in a military hospital. Quite a fall from grace.

TSARSKOE SELO

Olga learns of the betrayal. She tells her father. He is understanding. He tells her one day the war will be over and they can get back to their lives. The Bolsheviks will be punished in time. And Dmitri will be punished for his insolence.

But, sadly, it is not to be. By this time, the Bolsheviks enter the hospital and take the family away to another, hidden location.

Valentina is devastated. She has a horrid feeling she will never see her friend again.

COURTROOM

Meredith gladly settles so she can win her divorce and get the partnership with Jerome dissolved. She and her old flame go out to celebrate.

THE FILMS ARE FINALLY WINDING UP. Meredith and Old flame watch the final scenes together in the editing room.

THE LAST CELL FOR THE ROMANOVS

The Romanovs are held hostage only for a short while. Away from everyone. No one knows where they are. They do not know their fate, what will happen to them. Until, one day, the Bolsheviks return into the cell and murder them.

The Bolshevik soldiers rob them of their possessions. One young soldier stands over Olga’s body. He sees the St. George medal, rips it from her neck, pockets it before leaving.

We are transported back to

OLD FLAME’S FILM STUDIO

Meredith and the old flame are ecstatic. The scene is perfect. The edit’s perfect. The movie’s finally finished.

They go out to celebrate.

MONTHS PASS

Jerome’s film and Meredith’s film are out. They are being viewed in a major film festival

FILM FESTIVAL

Meredith gets rave reviews. Many talk Golden Globe, OSCAR.

Jerome’s film is not well received.

Jealous of Meredith’s work. He tries to downplay it then outright sabotage it and her good good.

He bad mouths it, calls in a few favors to try to get her film to fail in the nominations. BUT …

OSCARS

Meredith is up for an Oscar–best screenplay. Even though Jerome tried, she wins.

Drunk, Jerome gets up, when Meredith wins and tries to accept her award, he makes a spectacle of himself in front of the whole audience. Meredith bows out gracefully despite the horrid upstaging. She leaves Jerome to wallow in his pity party.

Her old flame is happy, too, as producer. The film is almost a clean sweep. He tells her he wants to work with her again on a new project.

Meredith gets another surprise. The actor who played Nicholas comes to her and tells her how much he enjoyed her script and her being a major factor in his winning his award and getting much praise for his work. Old Flame knows about this and will be heading up the new project. The actor asks Meredith out to dinner, perhaps to discuss their possibly working together. Meredith is ecstatic. Her career is finally taking off and becoming a major factor in her life. Along with rekindling her romance with her old flame.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE SIX LESSON THREE

FRAN’S CLICHÉ BUSTING

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

What I learned:

I started thinking about my scenes and then found two or three that could be easily plagued with a cliché. I proceeded to fix them according to the assignment, but then there was this one scene that made me start thinking about the Olga’s character and how her life would relate to Meredith’s.

This work, being a unique story in itself, it finally came to me Olga’s life was ruled by the past. She had protocols to honor and keep. And in Russia the woman’s place was in second class. She had no room to grow as a woman, become her own unique self—become the ruler of Russia.

She fought that tooth and nail, every step of the way in the few years she lived. She loved her brother. She loved her sisters and her parents. But the one thing that she wanted the most was to become czar if for any reason her little brother didn’t survive. She wanted to be ruler of Russia after her father, Czar Nicholas II. She wanted to be like Catherine the Great. But she was always told, she could not. She had to take a backseat to the men in her family. Her uncle Michael would be the heir apparent after Alexei.

Thus, her search was always for a way to stay in Russia, a way to become czar against all odds and to have a love who would honor her wishes, her goals and support her.

Her mother didn’t (her battles with her mother were often the typical mother vs. daughter battles we see today) honor Olga as a unique individual. Alexandra had her own problems to deal with. So, that would be a cliché. Her fits of temper would be themselves cliches. Her loves, the men she fell in love with, would be cliches.

So, I decided to write Olga’s story as uniquely as I could by keeping the fact that she wanted to be czar in mind. Everything she did, the men she fell in love with all hinged on her wanting to be czar. Even Dmitri II and her love for him. He was a soldier in the war. He fought for Mother Russia. How could she not love a man who loved her country as she did?

Meredith is the same way. She wants to have her career. She wants it on her terms. She doesn’t want to ride the backs of others to the top. She wants to earn it on her own. But with Jerome, she’s taking a backseat. As it was for Olga and her father trying to support her and encourage her, Meredith finds Kyron, not just an old flame, but someone who really cares and really supports her and really wants her to shine.

This is what has to come through as I write my scenes. And I really do have to start over again. All my scenes are really crappy. Fits and starts. But I want to show how from the past and the women who fought for the right to be heard and to reach for the goals they wanted, but didn’t get them, that long road was not in vain. Meredith is also taking that trip with her marriage to Jerome ending. She will find her strength through Olga to become the person she wants to be. Even though Olga was murdered at 23 and never got to live her dream. Meredith will.

CLICHÉ: The affair between the starlet and Jerome. This often crops up in the movies.

NEW VERSION: A “corporate climber,” starlet’s holding something over Jerome’s head to insure her climb to success.

CLICHÉ: Classic mother vs. daughter feud that’s between Alexandra and Olga.

NEW VERSION: Olga makes her wishes known to become czar in case Alexei dies. The mother will do everything she can to ensure Alexei lives through his hemophilia so he can become czar. Jealousies, rivalries, Olga’s hatred for Rasputin keeps them from resolving their issues.

CLICHÉ: The old flame returns to make the struggling suffering screenwriter the star and they fall in love again.

NEW VERSION: This version shows that Kyron does, indeed, support Meredith, but he doesn’t do it for her. He gives her the freedom to make her own choices, be her own person, be the best she can be on her own. The falling in love again is just a benefit from their partnership.

CLICHÉ: Olga’s temper gets the best of her. She acts like a little brat. Classic move for a young girl in a coming-of-age movie.

NEW VERSION: Olga is a woman ahead of her time. She is royalty. She is like a fish out of water, out of her element. She fights for rights that will come later for others, but not her. Her temper has reason, purpose. She believes the world should treat women wholly better than it does, allow them to be more than it does. And she wants to love fiercely, openly, but she wants to remain in Russia to rule because she loves her country. She believes the man she would love would want the same. And that she could love beneath her station, because she loves that person, not because it’s her duty. But that is not to be. She finds the men treat her in the old world style her parents grew up in. The only man who truly respects her and wishes her to be more than she is, is her father Nicholas, who supports her in every way possible.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE SIX LESSON TWO

FRAN’S SOLVED CHARACTER PROBLEMS

WHAT I LEARNED: My character profiles as I’ve worked on this story, have grown. Changed somehow from the meager first concept to a more fully developed one. What works, what doesn’t. I need to make certain my pitch is fully developed enough to sell someone on the concept before trying to sell it to someone. This story is only getting better for me because it is now becoming fuller, more complete in my thoughts and written words as I continue this process.

I needed to make several changes before I can go on.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

PITCH: The discovery of an old diary written by the friend of Czar Nicholas II’s daughter turns the doomed princess’s little known love story into a blockbuster Hollywood movie and an Oscar for its discoverer and screenwriter.

(Here this is fiction but add to the doomed princess’s trials a love letter written by Dmitri One she receives before she dies.)

Character Profiles from Module three

Meredith Kerns

Secretive—she holds back

She hides thing from her husband, tries to hide them from her daughter

She tries to share at first, but then gives up

Does things without his knowledge or permission/support

Meredith Kerns has a secretive trait. She hides things and her feelings from her philandering husband.

She plays the dutiful wife to his face.

But the she buys the diary anyway against and despite her husband’s wishes.

She tries to work with him even though he’s abusive towards her. But learns things must change when he threatens her job.

She tries to hides things from her daughter, but her daughter knows.

She tries to hides things from her agent, but secretly her agent knows and tries to be supportive beyond the call of duty.

She hides things from herself, it affects her creativity.

She finally stops hiding things, admits she can’t go on this way. She gets honest with herself and finally gets the courage to leave her husband.

Jerome Kerns

Manipulative, abusive, immoral, deceitful

He deliberately picks fights with Meredith to feel superior and in charge. He finds ways to put her down, her talent down. He likes to overlord.

Jerome always must appear in charge, as when he’s buying a gift for his daughter.

Jerome likes to be dominating in his position as director and producer, and never in a kind way. His putdowns and his criticisms are putting an ever-increasing strain on the couples’ marriage.

His picking fights with her, fires her off their movie, his continual need to have affairs with his leading ladies finally wakes Meredith up to do something about it.

Meredith takes a new job behind Jerome’s back, without his knowledge, until at one point she confronts him and she quits.

Jerome gets jealous and angry over her success when she wins her Oscar and gets much praise for her work.

NEW LIST:

MEREDITH KEARNS

Determined

Loves her daughter

Sacrifices

Tired of being the “Lady in Waiting” the “always the bridesmaid never the bride”

Loved someone her family did not approve of

Fed up with Jerome’s dalliances. She decides she’s not going to take the backseat any longer. She’s not going to be treated less than in her relationship with Jerome. She’s determined to make her life and career more than just a window dressing for someone else. She’s going to take charge and confront Jerome. And she’s going to take the initiative to find new work, a new partnership. A new love.

JEROME KEARNS

Loser

Wants to bring everyone else down with him

Addictions

Desperate for fame

Wants to be king of Hollywood but all he can be is a toady

What he’s feeling about his life and work in general, it’s going nowhere. He’s having addiction with gambling problems. He wants to make his life more exciting for everyone else than it is.

He’s jealous of Kyron. His success in the business AND that he was Meredith’s love first. He won’t say it, but he has race issues as well. It stems from their college days, Kyron had done everything right, gotten the rewards. Jerome did not. Always jealous.

Takes his anger out on everyone, including Meredith

ALEXANDRA (daughter)

Stands up to her father

Bold, says what she means, tells it like it is

Very mature

Knows the score

At first it doesn’t look like it, but she does and will support her mother. She has known all along about her father’s indiscretions. She stands up to her father as well. She is not a little girl anymore—which surprises her parents, very much.

KYRON Old Flame

Has faced racial issues all his life

Bigger man

Doesn’t tolerate unkindness, sloughfulness

Laid back in many ways

Wise to the ways of the world

Learned

He understand Jerome’s additions, his lack of loving Meredith the way she should be loved, but also he stand up to Jerome and tells him like it is. He supports Meredith in the way Jerome should have, but won’t. He will also tell Meredith he’s known for a long time what Jerome’s been up to. It’s all over Hollywood and he’s glad Meredith has seen the light and gotten rid of the man who’s making her miserable and dragging down her career with him. He gives her more advice on how to handle her career and how to handle Jerome if he ever comes back to make her life miserable again (which he will.)

JACKIE AGENT

Outgoing

Not afraid to say things

Helpful

Offers advice even when it’s not asked for

Very businesslike when it calls for it, all knowing very business savvy.

She urges Kyron to take up with Meredith again. She’s all for it and it’s time Meredith had someone in her life again to truly love her.

CANDACE STARLET

Selfish

Corporate climber

Is not afraid to pull out all the stops to get what she wants

Demanding

Knows she’s beautiful and wanted by every guy in Hollywood

Loves money, fame

Will do anything to get to the top of the ladder. Even betray her best friend.

OLGA GRAND DUCHESS

Independent

loves too deeply

born in the wrong time/era

bold, fearless, not afraid to go after what she wants despite the historical drawbacks of her time

gracious

Is a good friend to Valentina

A good sister to Tatiana, Anastasia, Maria. Loves Alexei, her brother.

Works to the very end to keep her vow. She wants to be czar if Alexei dies. She asks all the right questions. Watches her father. Demands he not give up his throne to brother Michael because she wants it. Stands up to the Bolsheviks at every turn. She stands up to her mother when Alexandra takes up with Raputin, sullying her good name for the sake of saving Alexei.

But there’s a certain frailty inside her she hides from everyone. She will not leave Russia. Russia is her home, the place where she grew up. She can never leave her. That is the one thing they must understand about her. Russia is her security blanket.

ALEXANDRA (mother czarina)

Hard nosed woman. Fierce as the royal czarina of Russia.

Will do anything to save her son. Loves fiercely.

Reprimands Olga for wanting the crown. She is not to overstep her boundaries. She will marry at some point, be the dutiful wife and daughter. And she will comply to the rules and laws of Russia.

Prim and proper. Unlike her Aunt Olga, the older Grand Duchess young Olga takes after and will take the place of when the older Olga dies. The older Grand Duchess likes to have a little fun now and then—and have a little intrigue in the court once in awhile to stir up the gossipers.

NICHOLAS (father czar)

Passive. A good man. A good leader, but he is too wishy washy to lead the country. He is failing to hold Russia together in the face of war. He will abdicate his throne despite Olga’s pleadings not to. But give it to her to rule in Alexei’s stead until he is well.

Also pragmatic. He’s knows when he is beaten and needs to turn the reigns of government over to the Bolsheviks (Young Lenin)

But he loves his family fiercely. He loves Olga especially very much. He panders to her. Gives in to her. Especially with what happened to Dmitri One. He says he will try to get him reinstated so they can marry, but it will be difficult. Her mother is adamant about his never returning.

Nicholas will do anything for his family, his children, to keep them safe. To keep Russia safe from the hands of tyranny.

TATIANA

Very straightforward. More practical, and in touch with the world than her sister Olga. She tells Olga like it is, how it is in their world. She knows more about being a grand duchess than Olga. She is the one who tells Olga she and Pavel can never marry because of their station. And to not dream so big. They are women. Women have their place in society. We just have to accept that. (Olga refuses. She will not accept her plight, her station in Russian society.)

VALENTINA

A good friend.

Has great concern for Olga. She kind of knows what could be in store for the young Grand Duchess.

She cautions her about the soldiers. Not to believe everything they tell her or say to her.

She is a good nurse, tries to look out for Olga at every turn.

She sees the certain frailty in Olga she hides from everyone. She understands it. She addresses it to Olga, which makes Olga vulnerable to Valentina. But Valentina won’t take advantage of that. Instead, she acts as Olga’s protector, to keep her safe from the dark forces of the ordinary world.

DMITRI 1

He is a good man. He loves Olga, but he is swayed into doing was is wrong, not good for the sake of his own life and station, but of his future with Olga.

He also loves his family fiercely, and this is what gets him into trouble. He wants to save his family from the villainous Rasputin and to save Alexandra’s reputation from being sullied any further.

He goes along with the plot his cousins (others are putting together) to help his family retain power and the crow. But it is not easy assassinating anyone, let along Rasputin.

The man refuses to die.

Dmitri in the end wil succeed with his cousins in carrying out the assassination. He has little remorse, other than he was unable to convince Alexandra his actions were for the family’s own good. Dmitri is banished, never o be seen again.

He is full of regrets. He cannot stand up to the wrath of Alexandra.

DMITRI 2

Two-faced.

He pretends to love Olga. He is a good soldier. But his wound is great. It takes him a long time to heal.

He is more of a Bolshevik than royalist. He scorns the Crown and what it stands for. He wants freedom in his country, too. No more war, no more hunger, destitution. He longs for the air of freedom. Olga gets sucked into his Charming ways and his talk about wanting to be his own man.

He takes advantage of Olga’s naivete toward men, soldiers. Her losing Dmitri One.

He then betrays her with his fellow soldiers by sharing her most intimate thoughts of love for Dmitri Two with them, breaking her heart into little pieces.

He cannot stand up to the wrath of Nicholas when he tells him he will have him sent to the Russian front, to the most heinous of the fighting. There he will die with his comrades a horrible death from war for hurting his daughter, and insulting the Romanov family in general with his lack of caring, sincerity. And his uncaring insolence toward Olga.

Make sure the marital problems, the jealousies, the abuse is prominent to make Meredith’s journey that much stronger.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE SIX LESSON ONE

FRAN’S STRUCTURE SOLUTIONS

WHAT I LEARNED: Take suggestions to heart and also with a grain of salt. And to solve the big major problems yourself first before asking for help. This outline seems to be much fuller now. And many of my problems have been solved. I know there will be more to fix. But it’s looking good for me right now. Much better than the first I posted.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

HOOK:

1718: St. Petersburg, Russia, Public Square

Russia’s crowned Prince Alexei is tied up in before a crowd of onlookers. His father, Peter the Great, interrogates him. Alexei is accused of trying to overthrow his father’s government. He’s tortured to wrench a confession out of him and forced to step down, accept his little son Peter Alexeyevich as the new successor. Alexei does not succumb. He “confesses” with these words:

“I shall bring back the old people and choose myself new ones to my will. When I become sovereign, I shall live in Moscow and leave Saint Petersburg simply as any other town. I won’t launch any ships, I shall maintain troops only for defense, and I won’t make war on anyone. I shall be content with the old domains. In winter I shall live in Moscow and in summer in Loroslavl.”

DUNGEON CELL

Alexei is taken back to his dungeon cell, thrown in, half dead from the beatings. Peter watches as the jailors lock up his son and leave. He weeps bitter tears, a broken man.

That night Alexei dies from the beatings.

WE HEAR “CUT!”

We are transported into the present day

Film Studio.

Jerome Kearns, director of the movie. Calls it a wrap for the day. Meredith, his wife and screenwriter, watches as Jerome fawns over his young star who plays Catherine, Peter’s wife in the movie. She silently knows something is going on between them. They make a huge display of it. Meredith treats it like she hasn’t noticed, but she’s had it with her husband’s affairs.

Jerome calls it a day. Meredith reminds Jerome, it’s their daughter Alexandra’s birthday. It’s also close to Christmas. She heard of a novelty shoppe in Moscow she’d like to go to to see if they can find something appropriate there for her.

Moscow city square, night. Snow’s coming down.

NOVELTY SHOPPE

WE HEAR A SHOPPE’S BELL. Shopkeeper greets them. They are immediately shown to the display of antique jewelry. Meredith decides to look around. She finds a display of old books. She begins to peruse. Camera is on an exquisite, priceless St. George’s necklace. Jerome’s shown a necklace once owned by the Grand Duchess Olga Romanov. Very expensive. As Meredith peruses shelves of old books also located in the shoppe, she finds one, takes it down, opens it. It’s in Russian. She’s able to read some of it.

She learns it’s the story of Olga Romanov, written many years ago by a friend, Valentina.

Jerome insists on buying the necklace. He plays the big man on campus. The big Hollywood producer. He throws his money around like it doesn’t matter. Jerome buys the necklace. He leaves not waiting for Meredith, telling her he’s got an important business meeting he’s got to go to. He can’t be late.

Meredith, lagging behind, buys the book then follows out the door behind Jerome.

APARTMENT in Moscow, evening

At their apartment, Meredith settles down to read her book. She learns the diary was written by a friend and confidante of Olga’s when she was a prisoner at the Military Hospital, Tsarskoe Selo, a nurse at the hospital, Valentina.

We hear the words she wrote:

There is a prophecy written about Olga. How a young princess will only live to see her twenty third birthday. But there is nothing about how she will die.

Jerome is on the phone pretending it’s business. It’s a call from the starlet. He hangs up, tells Meredith he’s leaving. He gets another call. This time it’s a call from a person he owes a lot of money to. He muffles a yell, “I’ll get you the money.”

Jerome prepares to leave. He tells Meredith, “Don’t wait up for me.” Meredith remarks after he leaves, “I hadn’t planned on it.”

Once Jerome is gone, Meredith calls her agent. She asks her to find her a divorce lawyer. She’s had it with his affairs with his starlets. And she’s had it with the money men who keep calling for him to pay up his debts.

FILM STUDIO, ON SET NEXT DAY

The starlet is throwing a fit. She’s having a huge problem playing the scene as written. She wants her lines—her part—fixed to her liking.

Meredith and Jerome get into a heated discussion over the scene and its integrity. The starlet wants her part bigger and written her way. Meredith’s heard it before. She pretends to slough it off. But this time, the starlet insists. Meredith is told to write it as the starlet wants it or he will find someone who will. Stunned, Meredith goes home to try to do write the scene as the starlet wants it.

APARTMENT

Meredith tries to work on the scene. But it’s not meshing. She doesn’t want to do it. She takes a break. Returns to her book for some solace.

She learns about the necklace they bought in the shoppe—and about who owned it.

ROMANOV PALACE

Olga, still a young girl, on the verge of becoming a woman, her father Czar Nicholas presents Olga with a present. A St. George’s medallion. She loves the gift from her father.

The story intrigues her. One of the young Romanov children who was murdered by the Bolsheviks during the war and revolution, owned the necklace. Given to her by her father Czar Nicholas II of Russia. She reads further.

ROMANOV FAMILY YACHT

Meredith also learns about a family outing on their yacht, Olga has fallen in love for the first time with Pavel, a young officer in her father’s service. She confides it to her sister Tatiana. She is told it can never be. He is beneath her station. They can never marry.

APARTMENT

The story reminds Meredith of the time she was a young girl in college. She was in love with another man, an old flame. They couldn’t be together either, family, social protocols. Mother didn’t approve.—Different race. They broke up. He moved away, half way around the world. She hadn’t heard from him in a long time. The only other thing she remembered. She started dating Jerome soon afterward. Jerome was one of his rivals in college—in the film school they attended. Jerome hated her once upon a time boyfriend, too.

STARLET’S APARTMENT

Jerome and the starlet meet for their rendezvous. It is a torrid affair. One that Meredith has known about for awhile now.

APARTMENT

Meredith tries to call her agent. No answer. She waits. Reads a bit more of her book.

ROMANOV PALACE

The next thing we learn, Pavel, Olga’s love, is asking Czar Nicholas for the hand of one of the ladies in waiting at court.

Olga, overhearing the proposal, is brokenhearted—and feeling very betrayed because she thought he loved her, too.

ROMANOV PALACE, GRAND BALLROOM, SOME TIME LATER

Olga’s debutante ball. She is now a young woman. She still wears her father’s necklace underneath her strands of pearls.

She is introduced to her distant cousin Dmitri—a possible suitor for the young princess. She falls in love with him almost immediately.

Alexei, her little brother, has an accident, falls, hurts himself. He is a hemophiliac. The bleeding won’t stop. Alexandra and Nicholas are very worried.

FILM STUDIO, NEXT DAY

The starlet is having another fit. The new scene is still not to her liking. She goes to Jerome, complains. Meredith is then introduced to her replacement, rather unexpectedly and forced to go home.

APARTMENT

When she returns, there’s a message waiting for her from her agent. When can you come home?

THE PALACE GROUNDS

The young couple spend time together, and seal their love for one another. They tell Olga’s parents. The parents are happy for their daughter. A wedding is in the works.

Olga never wants to leave Russia, she tells Dmitri. Russia is her home. Dmitri promises her she will never have to. He will make certain of that.

APARTMENT

Meredith tries to settle down. She returns to her book to read the part about Alexei’s illness.

ALEXEI’S ROOM

Alexei turns gravely ill. The bleeding won’t stop. Alexandra prays for his recovery. But nothing can be done. They believe this time he’s going to die. Alexandra vows she will do anything, give anything for her son to live.

Enter the monk Rasputin, who tells the czarina, he can save her son. He is a very bad man in the eyes of everyone around the czarina and tries to warn her. But she listens to him. She is desperate. Rasputin tells her he can save her son–for a price. Everyone on the czar’s household, by the reputation Rasputin has on the city streets, knows what price Rasputin asks of the czarina. She pays it.

In front of Olga and Tatiana and little Anastasia. Alexandra leaves with Rasputin. Olga has some idea what the price might be that her mother must pay for Rasputin’s help. She holds nothing but hatred for the monk. But her grief for her little brother is more pressing, urgent.

In that moment, Olga vows that if Alexei dies, she will become czar and take care of Russia for him. Olga is told outright she can never be czar because of the laws. Women do not become czars or leaders of their country. They only become wives of the men who serve as Russia’s czars. The crown will have to go to the next in line, her uncle Michael, if worse comes to worse.

Olga is more than upset. More than angry. Why can’t she be czar? She refuses to accept that answer. After all she could be another Catherine the Great. She is, after all, a descendent of Peter the Great.

APARTMENT

Meredith puts her book down. She feels for the young princess. She knows how it is for some people in this life. And she knows from history how the young princess died, fulfilling the prophecy written about her. Meredith tries to call her agent again. She needs to talk to someone about Jerome. She finally reaches her agent, tells her of the book she found, the story inside it. She wants to write a screenplay about it. She also wants out of this project with Jerome. She feels he’s going to fire her anyway. She believes he’s carrying on another affair, this time with the young starlet on this film. It’s more serious than the others. She wants out of everything. The agent loves the story and she tells her not to worry she’ll look around to see if anyone’s looking for a story like that. In the meantime, write a treatment for her to look at. She’s found an attorney for Meredith and she’ll work on getting an appointment with her for Meredith.

NEW DAY

FILM STUDIO

More of the same. Jerome is shooting, having a bad day. He gets another call from his “money man”. He is on the verge of losing everything. The starlet’s also giving him another hard time about the scene rewrite. She doesn’t like that one either. Jerome returns to Meredith, orders her to write the scene the way the starlet wants it. Meredith says but it’s not the way the history was lived. Jerome fires her and turns to the new writer to see what he can do to fix the mess.

APARTMENT

Home again, Meredith gets a call from her agent. Good news. She thinks she’s found someone who wants to film the script. Also, she has an appointment with her lawyer as soon as she can fly home.

Meredith hops on a plane and heads home for the United States.

HOME AGAIN, RESTAURANT

Meredith meets with her daughter to tell her she’s going to divorce her father. She gives Alex the gift and then tells her it’s not working out with her father and her anymore. Alex sides with her mother. Tells her she’s known about the affairs, the arguments. The money. She’s okay with it. She wants her mother to be happy. Asks when is she going to see her lawyer.

They are interrupted by Meredith’s agent and a man who’s with her. The man who wants to film the script. It’s Meredith’s old flame of many years ago–AND Jerome’s old rival.

Meredith is floored. She hasn’t seen this man in years. She hasn’t spoken to him. Old feelings start to gush up insider all over again. Does she still love him after all this time, after all these years?

OFFICE

Meredith and her old flame talk about the new project they want to undertake. What intrigued him the most is the story of Rasputin and the conspiracy to assassinate him.

Olga, he tells her, must have been heart broken when she learned Dmitri was part of the plot. And he was banished from Russia and from her seeing Olga again. Meredith adds.

They talk about their past relationship. And they talk about Jerome. Why it didn’t work out for them.

She remembers how her parents fought her on the idea of marrying a man from a different race, a different culture. It just wasn’t done in the polite society. Meredith says she’s sorry it happened. But her old flame realizes and tells her it wasn’t her fault. It was the way things were then. Maybe we can be—friends now, he adds. She says yes. She would like that.

ROMANOV PALACE

Dmitri and others of the royal palace gather together to plot against Rasputin. Rasputin has embarrassed the family. Defamed Alexandra and he must be dealt with accordingly—to reclaim their honor, the honor of the crown. They try to poison him with pastries, but that doesn’t work. Finally, in a desperate move they bludgeon him and throw him into the river to drown him. Rasputin miraculously escapes the river, but dies anyway.

Alexandra learns of the plot and how Rasputin died. She banishes Dmitri from the court, from Russia and bars him from ever seeing Olga again, breaking Olga’s heart a second time.

HOME

Meredith is home again. She begins work on a part of the screenplay.

WAR IN EUROPE

World War I begins in Europe. Russia is affected, devastated by the war. The rise of the Bolsheviks take place. There is a plot to overthrow the czar and take over.

HOME

Jerome is home again. The film is complete. He wants to see Alex. Meredith tells him she’s not here. She’s away. He missed Christmas, her birthday. But Jerome doesn’t want to hear any of it. He only wants to know why he was served with papers to dissolve their partnership—AND their marriage. Meredith forces him to listen. For many reasons, but mostly his affairs and treating her like dirt. She’s already packed this things. They are at his club waiting for him there.

Jerome leaves—very unhappy. He warns her it is not going to be an easy settlement or divorce.

ROMANOV PALACE

Olga and Alexandra have it out. Olga is angry Dmitri’s been sent away. And she’s angry with her mother to have allowed Rasputin ruin her reputation like he did. Their argument is interrupted by the Bolsheviks taking the family captive. They are taken to

TSARKSKOE SELO

A military hospital. There the family must work in their captivity to take care of the wounded soldiers. This is where she meets her Valentina. They become friends.

OLD FLAME’S OFFICE

Meredith and her old flame discuss part of the script she’s working on. The old flame urges her to use the story of Olga to cleanse herself from Jerome. Some of Olga’s woes sound very much like Meredith’s. She has a hard time acclimating herself to the work at the hospital. It’s not her. She gets into arguments with the staff, her supervisor. The war, and the war with her mother still raging, isn’t helping either.

Meredith and her old flame go out on the town. Wine, dine, dance, discuss their past relationship. They start to rekindle the feelings they have for one another. They make love together. Like old times. The old argument she had with her family against her loving her old flame disappears.

HOME

Meredith takes her old flame’s advice and uses her scripts to cleanse herself of her troubles with Jerome.

Olga has a hard time of it, trying to be a nurse. She loses it in the OR and she is given a desk job to do. Until there is a major battle and many soldiers come in wounded. She is forced to take care of a number of them. She is assigned to one–a Dmitri. She nurses him, and a few others in the room with him, back to health. In the course of this getting well, they, seemingly, fall in love.

COURTROOM

The divorce and the dissolution of the partnership is a battle royale. It drains Meredith of her emotions. Everything comes out, including the affairs Jerome had over the years. And much of the abuse Meredith had to suffer because of Jerome’s actions, unfaithfulness. And Jerome uses her new, rekindled relationship with her old flame to damage her reputation.

TSARSKOE SELO MILITARY HOSPITAL

Olga writes another love letter to Dmitri. He is well now. Able to go back to the front. She remembers the vows they shared between them. The intimacy—vows of unspoken love. They say their goodbyes.

Dmitri, fully recovered now, leaves the hospital with a few of his friends. But not before he gets Olga’s last letter. The men go out to celebrate.

TAVERN

Dmitri and his friends get drunk. He shares the letters Olga wrote to him while he recuperated. Dmitiri and his companions make fun of her and the letters—and the fall from her station, now just a poor nurse taking care of the wounded in a military hospital. Quite a fall from grace.

TSARSKOE SELO

Olga learns of the betrayal through people who work with her, and who make fun of her as well. She tells her father. He is understanding and vows to rectify the situation. He tells her, one day, when the war is over and they can get back to their lives, the Bolsheviks will be punished. And Dmitri will be punished for his insolence against her and the crown.

But, sadly, it is not to be. By this time, the Bolsheviks enter the hospital, with full force, and take the family away to another, hidden location.

Valentina is devastated. She has a horrid feeling she will never see her friend again.

COURTROOM

Meredith wins her divorce and the partnership with Jerome is dissolved. She and her old flame go out to celebrate.

THE FILMS ARE FINALLY WINDING UP. Meredith and Old flame watch the final scenes together in the editing room.

THE LAST CELL FOR THE ROMANOVS

The Romanovs are held hostage only for a short while. Away from everyone. No one knows where they are. They do not know their fate, what will happen to them. Until, one day, the Bolsheviks return into the cell and murder them without warning.

The Bolshevik soldiers rob them of their possessions. One young soldier stands over Olga’s body. He sees the St. George medal, rips it from her neck, pockets it before leaving.

We are transported back to

OLD FLAME’S FILM STUDIO

Meredith and the old flame are ecstatic. The scene is perfect. The edit’s perfect. The movie’s finally finished.

They go out to celebrate.

MONTHS PASS

Jerome’s film and Meredith’s film are out. They are being viewed in a major film festival

FILM FESTIVAL

Meredith gets rave reviews. Many talk Golden Globe, OSCAR.

Jerome’s film is not well received.

Jealous of Meredith’s work. He tries to downplay it then outright sabotage it and her good fortune.

He bad mouths it, calls in a few favors to try to get her film to fail in the nominations. BUT …

OSCARS

Meredith is up for an Oscar–best screenplay. Even though Jerome tried, she wins. Her old flame is happy, too, as producer/director. The film is almost a clean sweep. He tells her he wants to work with her again, soon, on a new project.

Meredith gets another surprise. The actor who played Nicholas comes to her and tells her how much he enjoyed her script and her being a major factor in his winning his award and getting much praise for his work. Old Flame knows about this and will be heading up the new project. The actor asks Meredith out to dinner, perhaps to discuss their possibly working together—as a writing team. Meredith is ecstatic. Her career is finally taking off and becoming a major factor in her life. Along with rekindling her romance with her old flame.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FIVE LESSON FOURTEEN

FRAN’S (FINALLY) FINISHED WITH ACT FOUR

WHAT I LEARNED: Just try to keep your spirits up. It’s cold out today here. And we had a little snow last night. Try to keep your thoughts up and running and just try to keep going until you can’t anymore. And keep thinking it will get better.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

I finished eight pages today and it’s still crappy. But I persevered through it. Did it during my break at work! I can see a lot of work needs to be done on this. But I tell myself it will work out. I keep Aaron Sorkin on my mind and what he said about the CHICAGO SEVEN script. He had to rewrite it umpteen times before he was anywhere near happy enough to commit it to film.

Maybe it will work out. Maybe it won’t. But I’m not going to throw in the towel yet : )

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FIVE LESSON THIRTEEN

FRAN’S CONTINUING ACT FOUR

WHAT I LEARNED: Just keep going. Don’t give up. Not just yet.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

Today, this morning, I wrote ten and a half pages on my Winter script. It’s crappy. But it’s on paper. The ideas are starting to come now, what different I can do with it. This is also happening with another script I started for another class and haven’t been able to finish. Ideas are coming for that one, too, how to fix it and make it a whole lot better.

Now, I just need to find the time to write. I’m going to take the suggestion and write 5 minutes here, 5 minutes there. On the cuff. See where it takes me. Today, I have enough time to write on Winter and work on the gauntlet scene for my Steamboat script. I was able to get it all outlined yesterday! Today, I’m to get it pieced together and start my writing of the scene!

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FIVE LESSON TWELVE

FRAN’S STARTED ACT 4

WHAT I LEARNED: I found out writing for assignment eleven, that something came out that easily set up another scene I could write for this lesson. I’m still unsure about this story, but I’m going with the flow for now. As I learned in the mastery session. It will come to me sooner or later. Just hand it over to my inner brain.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

I wrote two pages for the Winter script. But I kept thinking about my other script. I have a big scene to write. I have to work on that one again for a short while.

A few hours later. I’ve written the set up and a few dialogue lines for that big scene for my steamboat race script. It was a bit of work, but tomorrow when I’m fresher I’ll be able to put it together better. I was able to get about eight pages of that done and I’m feeling pretty about that one.

Hopefully, tomorrow I’ll be able to write more on Winter as well. But first, what’s coming out of me takes precedent and I nee to get that down on paper for better or for worse.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FIVE LESSON ELEVEN

FRAN’S FINISHING ACT THREE

WHAT I LEARNED: This was mostly from the Mastery Session 18. Just keep going. Don’t listen to the negative voices that could stop you.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

These last days around the holidays. I think it’s partly because I had been sick and it’s taking me a while to fully recoup from the Covid.

I’ve had a bout of depression and have been feeling like I made a big mistake with this choice. It hasn’t been going as well as I wanted it to. And the downside of it been around the holidays. Also, my sister hasn’t been the most cooperative in the world these days.

But I am in a place now I think I can get another scene or two written for lesson eleven and keep going to twelve thru fourteen.

I listened to the mastery session this morning and it made me feel a lot better about my writing stall and my depression I’ve been having for this past weekend. I need a boost like that every once in awhile to get me going again.

I want to continue with this story to see it through. But I want to be in a better place if I make the decision to toss it and start over again.

Also, as I’ve been posting, I do want to finish the script I’ve been working on for quite a while now. I wanted the tools to get me to the highest point for the finale. That’s why I took this class. That has been going great guns for me. And I’m ready to write the scene where Charles is in the gauntlet and must be the hero for the crew of the steamboat.

As I said, I’m going to keep going thru the holidays to see how my feelings play out in all this. It could be just from having been ill and now the holidays are upon us. But I am speed writing. That in itself is a miracle for me.

And before I post this, I did get a little more done. Around ten pages. I’m still just picking a scene and going with it. That seems to work for me at the moment. Posting this and getting started on assignment 12.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FIVE LESSON TEN

FRAN’S CONTINUING ACT THREE

WHAT I LEARNED: Even during a holiday and no time to myself, I got some writing done!

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

Just sat down, put pen to paper, chose a scene and wrote.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FIVE LESSON NINE

FRAN BEGAN ACT THREE

WHAT I LEARNED: Just keep plugging away. And do what writing you can during the holidays.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in

This was yesterday’s work. It was hard getting ready for Thanksgiving and getting any writing done. I am hoping tomorrow will be different though. I will make time in the morning. As for yesterday. I was able to get 5 pages done on my script I’m trying to finish and 5 pages done on my script for the class.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FIVE LESSON EIGHT

FRAN’S COMPLETED ACT TWO

WHAT I LEARNED:

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

I listened to the Mastery Session 17 today and took you advice. I just picked a scene and began writing there. I was able to get down 8+ pages. I catching up!

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FIVE LESSON SEVEN

FRAN’S CONTINUIONG ACT TWO

WHAT I LEARNED: WHATEVER YOU NEED. GIVE IT TO YOUR SUBSCONSCIOUS WRITING PARTNER AND IT WILL COME!

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

This weekend was very full for me. I wasn’t able to get any substantial writing done Friday because of work and then I had tickets to a show I’ve been wanting to see for a while now.

And then I wasn’t able to get any writing Saturday all day until I went to bed. And then, the words for my other script started flowing out in a gush. I grabbed some paper. And, this was around 2 am, by the time I had finished, I had written about 6 pages. They were not bad. They had reveals and setups in them and all all they need is some spit and polish. This is why I took this particular class. So, I could get this script I’ve been working on for a long time finally finished. I don’t know what it is, but it’s working. And now I can get on with the crisis, climax and resolution for that script. And get more done on the script I’m writing for this class!

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FIVE LESSON SIX

FRAN BEGAN ACT TWO

WHAT I LEARNED: Just keep plugging away. If one thing doesn’t work, set it aside and let it stew in the unconscious brain for awhile until it does! And just keep writing, whatever you can.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

I tried to write yesterday, but I was having a hard time letting the stream of consciousness writing work its magic. So, I set my story aside for today and started trying this technique on the other script I’m in the process of trying to finish. And it worked out pretty well. I was able overcome the problem I was having with the start of the Act and write through to almost the end of where I needed to be. Today it was working! Hopefully, tomorrow I can pick up my script for this class again and write more pages!

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FIVE LESSON FIVE

FRAN’S FINISHED ACT ONE

WHAT I LEARNED: Still learning how to speed write.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

I was able to fast write about 10 pages today. And THEN I was able to repair a scene from another script I’ve been working on (I took this class to help me finish. And what I had written kind of made sense for it.)

It’s still a new thing for me to write this way, but I am getting the gist of it.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FIVE LESSON FOUR

FRAN’S NEXT ACT ONE SCENES

WHAT I LEARNED: I’m learning how to speed write.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

I am finally able to catch up now. I was able to find someone who could give me feedback for my outline. And I spent the weekend rewriting.

Today I did some speed writing on my script. I was able to write quite a bit. But I finally had to stop. I couldn’t write anymore. It’s crappy, but I got some more stuff on paper. YAY!

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FIVE LESSON THREE

FRAN’S ACT ONE FIRST DRAFT PART ONE

WHAT I LEARNED: As I said before, and Hal pointed out in one of this sessions, I do call myself a slow writer. I wanted to learn in these classes, besides writing incredible movies, how to become a faster writer—get work done. It’s a painful process trying to unlearn a habit I’ve cultivated for these many years, but I think I’m starting to get a break through. I wrote about 5 pages yesterday and continued with another scene after, another 6 pages. That was a feat for me, indeed.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

Sometimes I have to use my time at work to do my writing. As a substitute teacher, at any given time I’m monitoring study halls, the hallways as well as classes. I use those times to do my writing if and when I can. Yesterday was one such day. I sat scribbling away at anything that came to mind. It was like stream of consciousness writing. It was crappy, yes, but I was able to do some writing. Somedays, I’m dealing with stuff that makes it most difficult to do any thinking at all in my down times for writing. It was a good day.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FIVE LESSON TWO

FRAN’S HIGH SPEED WRITING RULES

WHAT I LEARNED: I’m learning how to be a speed writer.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

Trying to speed write. I’m still at the point where I’m not a speed writer, but I’m getting better at letting the first words on the page go and able to say we can do better in the next round.

I’ve been trying this method with another script I’ve been working on, trying to finish and I find it helps get the other scene flowing in my head when I’m stuck with what to do with my characters next. It’s like they help me out telling me what they want to do with this method.

Tomorrow I will start lesson three and get some of my new script on paper!

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FIVE LESSON ONE

FRAN’S FIRST SCENE

WHAT I LEARNED: I’m able to write faster, although I still have a tendency to write slow and deliberate when I work.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

The process was rather easy, fun for me. I gave myself permission to write crap and then looked at it when I was finished and was very pleased with the outcome. I can tell myself, it’s okay now. We can do better in the next round. And it will get better with each rewrite

[Frances Emerson]

Hello everyone. I am finally recovered from my illness. It took awhile, but I was able to work on my outline and finally get it as completed as I could. Is there anyone out there who still needs to exchange? I would be most happy to exchange with you.

[Frances Emerson]

I’m reposting this assignment because the first post wasn’t completed. I am well again and I was able to work on my outline

MODULE FOUR LESSON TEN

FRAN’S FASCINATING SCENE OUTLINES

WHAT I LEARNED: I just want to start writing my scenes now.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

MEREDITH’S STORY

1. INT. NOVELTY SHOPPE

Beginning: Jerome and Meredith Kearns are in the shop looking for a gift for their daughter.

Middle: Jerome and Meredith have an argument over the possible purchase of a book/diary Meredith wants to buy. Jerome says no.

END: Meredith buys the book on the QT, slips it in her purse and walks out.

2. INT.ON FILM STUDIO SET

Beginning: Starlet is throwing a fit on a scene she’s having problems with and wants fixed.

Middle: Meredith and Jerome get into and argument over the scene’s integrity. Jerome and the Starlet win.

END: Meredith goes home to work on the scene.

3. INT. APARTMENT

Beginning: Meredith tries to fix the scene, but it’s not working for her. Jerome goes out on a business thing. Instead, he’s meeting the starlet for a rendezvous.

Middle: She settles down to read her book.

END: Meredith discovers a wonderful story inside. She calls her agent to tell her she’s found a story she wants to turn into a new script. In the meantime, she asks the agent to find her a new assignment and a new partner. She thinks Jerome is going to fire her (and frankly, she’s ok with that.)

4. INT. ON FILM STUDIO SET, NEXT DAY

Beginning: Meredith’s new scene is still not to the starlet’s liking.

Middle: Jerome and Meredith get into another argument. He fires Meredith. He’s already hired a new writer to take her place.

End: Meredith gets a call from her agent. She found someone who loves her idea and wants to work with her. She is overjoyed. He wants to meet up with her.

5. INT. RESTAURANT

Beginning: Meredith meets with her prospective new partner.

Middle: She discovers it’s an old flam from her past. They want to strike up the friendship again. They are happy to be working together.

End: Jerome finds out and who Meredith will be working with. It’s his old nemesis from film school. He is not happy and intends to break up the partnership before it gets started.

6. INT. COURTROOM

Beginning: Things heat up. Meredith asks for a divorce. But Jerome is not happy. He gives her a rough time of it.

Middle: Their daughter gets in the middle of it.

END: The contention gets out of control. But the daughter is on the mother’s side.

7. INT. APARTMENT

Beginning: Meredith and Alex have a heart to heart talk. Alex tells her she knows about her father’s affairs and wants her to be happy.

Middle: Meredith has lost the belief in herself. She tries to regain it.

END: Her new partner has a healthy part in her getting her bearings back and her zeal for her new story.

8. INT. FILM STUDIO

Beginning: The divorce becomes finalized. Meredith is now free.

Middle: But Jerome is not finished. He intends to make the partner pay and to get Meredith back.

End: Jerome tries one more time to break up the partnership He fails. His movie fails. But …

9. INT. FILM FESTIVAL

Beginning: Meredith is finally free of Jerome. She goes on to garner prais and kudos for her work.

Middle: She is finally up for an Oscar. Jerome is jealous. He tries to sabotage her good luck. But …

END: Meredith wins her Oscar. And in the end she has a new partnership and she also finds a possible new love.

OLGA’S STORY

EXT. ROYAL FAMILY YACHT – DAY

Beginning: A Family outing.

Middle: Olga expresses her “love” for a young officer on board to her sister.

End: Olga is told her love can never be. He is beneath her station.

INT. ROMANOV PALACE, RECEIVING ROOM – DAY

Beginning: The family is gathered to greet the young officer, the object of Olga’s affections.

Middle: The young officer asks Czar Nicholas for permission to marry on of the lady’s in waiting at the court. Permission is granted.

End: Olga’s heart is broken.

INT. ROMANOV PALACE, GRAND BALLROOM – NIGHT

Beginning: It’s Olga’s coming of age celebration. Her father gifts her with a precious necklace, a St. George’s medallion

Middle: Olga falls in love with the necklace. She meets her distant cousin Dmitri at the Ball.

End: She falls madly in love with Dmitri and he with her.

INT. ROMANOV PALACE, RECEIVING ROOM

Beginning: Olga and Dmitri tell her parents. They express their undying love for each other.

Middle: A wedding is in the works. There must be preparation. Alexei, Olga’s little brother becomes ill again.

End: Rasputin enters the picture.

INT. ALEXEI’S ROOM – NIGHT

Beginning: Alexei is gravely ill. Czarina Alexandra is beside herself.

Middle: Rasputin says he can help the boy—for a price.

End: In front of the girls, Alexandra agrees and she and Rasputin leave the room together. The girls do not like Rasputin. Olga vows if Alexei dies, she will become czar. She is told that can never be according to the laws of the land.

INT. ROMANOV PALACE – DAY

Beginning: Rumors abound. Czarina Alexandra is under Rasputin’ spell.

Middle: The palace men and Dmitri plot together to kill Rasputin and rid them of the evil. They try to kill him with poisoned pastries.

End: He does not die until they throw him in the river to rid Russia once and for all of Rasputin.

INT. ROMANOV PALACE – DAY

Beginning: Alexandra suspects the lot. She banishes Dmitri from Russia, Cancels the wedding and forbids Olga to ever see Dmitri again.

Middle: Olga begs for her mother to reconsider. But it is not to be.

End: Olga’s love for her mother turns to hatred.

EXT. EUROPEAN THEATER – DAY

Beginning: WORLD WAR ONE BEGINS.

Middle: Days, weeks, years, Russia is devastated by the war.

End: The Bolsheviks revolt, take the Romanov’s hostage.

EXT. /INT. MILITARY HOSPITAL – DAY

Beginning: The Romanovs are taken to a military hospital as hostage in order to help the wounded in the war.

Middle: Olga has a hard time trying to become a nurse. She’s not very good at it. Her temper puts her on desk duty. She becomes friends with a young woman there who helps her.

End: The woman’s name is Valentina. Valentina begins to write a journal about her experiences with Olga.

EXT. BATTLE / INT. MILITARY HOSPITAL – DAY

Beginning: The battle is fierce. There are many war casualties.

Middle: Many wounded soldiers are brought into the hospital. Olga is reassigned to care for some of the wounded, the staff being shorthanded. She is assigned one young soldier, Dmitri.

End: As she cares for Dmitri, she finds she is falling in love with him. And it appears he is falling in love with her.

INT. MILITARY HOSPITAL – DAY

Beginning: Olga confides in her friend Valentina.

Middle: Olga makes amends with her mother.

End: She begins writing letters to Dmitri once is out of the hospital and no longer needs care.

INT. TAVERN – NIGHT

Beginning: Dmitri enjoys an evening carousing in a tavern with his friends from the war.

Middle: He shares the letters Olga wrote to him with his friends. They mock and make fun of Olga’s love for Dmitri.

End: When Olga learns of this, her heart is broken.

EXT. MOSCOW – DAY

Beginning: There is a Bolshevik uprising.

Middle: The family is again in jeopardy. They are removed from the hospital.

End: They are taken to another place for sequestering.

INT. HOLDING CELL – DAY

Beginning: It’s days for the family to know what their fate will be.

Middle: Alexandria tells her daughter Olga she is sorry she banished Dmitri and they forgive each other.

End: In the end, the Bolsheviks return and murder the entire family. They begin looting the bodies of the royal family. One soldier finds Olga’s necklace given to her by her father and takes it from her neck. The soldiers leave. Valentina learns of her friend’s fate. She is heartbroken.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FOUR LESSON TEN

FRAN’S FASCINATING SCENE OUTLINES

WHAT I LEARNED: I just want to start writing my scenes now.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

1. INT. NOVELTY SHOPPE

Beginning: Jerome and Meredith Kearns are in the shop looking for a gift for their daughter.

Middle: Jerome and Meredith have an argument over the possible purchase of a book/diary Meredith wants to buy. Jerome says no.

END: Meredith buys the book on the QT, slips it in her purse and walks out.

2. INT.ON FILM STUDIO SET

Beginning: Starlet is throwing a fit on a scene she’s having problems with and wants fixed.

Middle: Meredith and Jerome get into and argument over the scene’s integrity. Jerome and the Starlet win.

END: Meredith goes home to work on the scene.

3. INT. APARTMENT

Beginning: Meredith tries to fix the scene, but it’s not working for her. Jerome goes out on a business thing. Instead, he’s meeting the starlet for a rendezvous.

Middle: She settles down to read her book.

END: Meredith discovers a wonderful story inside. She calls her agent to tell her she’s found a story she wants to turn into a new script. In the meantime, she asks the agent to find her a new assignment and a new partner. She thinks Jerome is going to fire her (and frankly, she’s ok with that.)

4. INT. ON FILM STUDIO SET, NEXT DAY

Beginning: Meredith’s new scene is still not to the starlet’s liking.

Middle: Jerome and Meredith get into another argument. He fires Meredith. He’s already hired a new writer to take her place.

End: Meredith gets a call from her agent. She found someone who loves her idea and wants to work with her. She is overjoyed. He wants to meet up with her.

5. INT. RESTAURANT

Beginning: Meredith meets with her prospective new partner.

Middle: She discovers it’s an old flam from her past. They want to strike up the friendship again. They are happy to be working together.

End: Jerome finds out and who Meredith will be working with. It’s his old nemesis from film school. He is not happy and intends to break up the partnership before it gets started.

6. INT. COURTROOM

Beginning: Things heat up. Meredith asks for a divorce. But Jerome is not happy. He gives her a rough time of it.

Middle: Their daughter gets in the middle of it.

END: The contention gets out of control. But the daughter is on the mother’s side.

7. INT. APARTMENT

Beginning: Meredith and Alex have a heart to heart talk. Alex tells her she knows about her father’s affairs and wants her to be happy.

Middle: Meredith has lost the belief in herself. She tries to regain it.

END: Her new partner has a healthy part in her getting her bearings back and her zeal for her new story.

8. INT. FILM STUDIO

Beginning: The divorce becomes finalized. Meredith is now free.

Middle: But Jerome is not finished. He intends to make the partner pay and to get Meredith back.

End: Jerome tries one more time to break up the partnership He fails. His movie fails. But …

9. INT. FILM FESTIVAL

Beginning: Meredith is finally free of Jerome. She goes on to garner prais and kudos for her work.

Middle: She is finally up for an Oscar. Jerome is jealous. He tries to sabotage her good luck. But …

END: Meredith wins her Oscar. And in the end she has a new partnership and she also finds a possible new love.

[Frances Emerson]

I’ve been sick for the entire week and haven’t been able to work on anything. So, I have nothing to exchange right now. Please pass me by until I can catch up. Thank you,

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FOUR LESSON NINE

FRAN’S SCENE REQUIREMENTS

WHAT I LEARNED: There’s a lot to think about here. But this is not set in stone. Some stuff written here, I don’t know if it will remain. But I do know that in time with more work it will get better.

MY VISION: MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

COLD OPENING:

INT. NOVELTY SHOPPE, MOSCOW – DAY

ARC Meredith and Jerome Kearns, a married couple, also in a working partnership, are on a break from filming, shopping for their daughter, Alexandria’s birthday/Christmas gift. The gift is purchased, but it isn’t a mutual decision. We see Meredith is compliant with her husband’s wishes in all aspects, but one. She makes a purchase of her own, which he tells her she cannot do. Compliant to covertly defiant.

ESSENCE We learn the couple is having marital problems. It isn’t working for Meredith, either relationship.

SUBTEXT Besides the marital problems we are given a hint of Jerome’s financial problems, an affair is going on and he is having a midlife crisis.

CONFLICT: The conflict arises over a book Meredith wants to purchase. Jerome tells her no, it’s too much money to spend on such a frivolous item. She “complies” until the end. She purchases it on the QT despite her husband’s wishes.

HOPE/FEAR Meredith has fear of her husband and his overbearing wishes. Hope that her new purchase will set her foot on a new path.

INCITING INCIDENT:

INT. ON SET, FILM STUDIO – DAY

ARC The young beautiful star of Jerome and Meredith’s film is having trouble with the scene. She’s far from happy with it. She argues there needs to be improvements made to suit her wishes. Meredith says she can do some rewriting, but she won’t compromise the historical facts of the scene for the starlet. Jerome says she will fix it to his and the starlet’s liking. From writer of the script to compliant yes woman.

ESSENCE We see snippets of why the marriage is failing, the partnership is failing. Meredith is not being treated as an equal in the partnership.

SUBTEXT The disagreement in the film logistics is a metaphor for the trouble that is in their partnership and their marriage.

CONFLICT: Disagreements over a scene rewrite, but it is more than just a rewrite, it’s a disagreement over Jerome’s star’s demands to rewrite the scene the way she wants it done. Meredith does not want to compromise the historical integrity of the scene. And she suspects Jerome is favoring her for another reason: they are having an affair.

HOPE/FEAR Fear Meredith is losing her job, her husband. The hope her agent will help her find a new job, a new partner to work with, new strength in her writing.

BY PAGE 10

INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT

Meredith has had just about enough when she begins reading her book. She suspects Jerome is having an affair with the star of their film. She calls her agent to ask her to help her find new work. From a lousy, un satisfying job, working relationship with her husband to the prospect of a new job, a new partnership.

ARC Meredith goes from a compliant, partner in a failing business to a productive, valued partner in a promising new project and partnership .

ESSENCE Meredith makes a decision to change her life and her circumstances for the better with help from her agent. She makes the decision to strike out on her own, away from Jerome’s bullying and putdowns.

SUBTEXT We learn more about the affair and the other things that drive Jerome: his financial problems and his midlife crisis

CONFLICT The conflict continues. Meredith reads her book, decides she wants to turn it into a screenplay in preparation for the day Jerome might fire her from the set. Jerome lies about his leaving the apartment for work. He’s heading to his starlet’s apartment for a night rendezvous.

HOPE/FEAR starting a new script, starting a new partnership, and the hope she will succeed this time. The story she discovered is worth the effort.

TURNING POINT ONE

INT. ON SET, FILM STUDIO – DAY

Meredith is freed from her partnership with Jerome, fired from her job. She is eager to start her new partnership with a man who loves her idea for a screenplay. An old flame from her past, and Jerome’s nemesis from his film school days.

ARC Meredith loses her job and her life with Jerome at this point. But she gains a new perspective on her new script idea and a budding working relationship—with an old flame from her past.

ESSENCE Meredith is apprehensive about the change that’s taking place in her life, but she is willing to do it for a new, better life. A new career, a hope that a new script will revitalize her career going solo.

SUBTEXT Somehow she knows the starlet was the instigator.

CONFLICT The old job vs. the new job. Jerome now can’t let her go, now that he knows she’s already got a new job, and starting a new script for someone else.

HOPE/FEAR Fear of the unknown in a new working relationship, fear she’s not up to the task. Hope Things will be getting better in time for her. Her daughter’s support also gives her hope.

MIDPOINT

INT. RESTAURANT – DAY

INT. COURTROOM – DAY

Meredith meets her new partner. The old flame is happy to be working with Meredith and she with him. Jerome also learns who her new partner is. He vows to break it up immediately, sabotage the new partnership—to get even.

ARC Meredith steps into her new role with her old flame. Jerome plots to bring the partnership to an end as quickly as possible.

ESSENCE Meredith is apprehensive of the work ahead, but she is convinced by her old flame she can do it. They can do it together. Without Jerome telling her what to do ever again. Or treating her a less than an equal.

SUBTEXT Jerome’s jealousy is flared up by Meredith’s joy.

CONFLICT The divorce begins. It’s a messy one.

HOPE/FEAR Meredith hopes the divorce will be a swift and amicable one. Her fear is it will not be.

TURNING POINT TWO

INT. APARTMENT – DAY

Jerome tries to win Meredith back.

ARC Meredith falters in the beginning because of her divorce and the battles it brings with Jerome, but in the end her struggles are paying off and she is conquering her fears of finishing the screenplay. Jerome tries to stop Meredith from succeeding with her new partner.

ESSENCE What women usually have to go through to break away from dominating men in their lives who try to ruin their ascension into something bigger, better for them and their lives. Success.

SUBTEXT Jerome plays the reformed, contrite husband. Meredith isn’t buying it.

CONFLICT Jerome plays the reformed, contrite husband. Meredith knows exactly what he’s trying to do now. Manipulate her like he’s always done in the past.

HOPE/FEAR Fear that Jerome will wear her down and she will fall for his BS. The Hope is that her renewed strength will carry on, and she will cross the finishline. And also make Jerome accept their divorce and their severed partnership—that it’s over.

CRISIS Litigation reaches a boiling point.

ARC From a married woman to a divorced one. Will Meredith finally be freed from her abusive relationship with Jerome. Will he stop controlling her?

ESSENCE This all is making Meredith doubt herself, it’s weighing on her work. But she goes on with the courage and support from her agent, her daughter and her new partner.

SUBTEXT Meredith is losing the belief in herself because of Jerome’s continued efforts to woo her back. We get the memo. Jerome’s work is failing and he’s trying to win Meredith back only because he needs her back on the film to make it a success.

HOPE/FEAR Meredith still hopes the divorce with be an amicable one. She fears it will not and Jerome will wear her down.

CLIMAX

INT. NEW FILM STUDIO – DAY

Jerome is finally gone from Meredith’s life. The divorce is finalized. Meredith is free to finish her work on the movie. And she does.

ARC From a woman who’s fighting a nasty divorce with her ex. To a successful business woman, writer who’s work is getting kudos from the industry.

ESSENCE Meredith finally gets it. She’s allowed Jerome to control her life, their business for so long, she didn’t know she could ever do it on her own. But now she knows she can.

SUBTEXT Jerome vs. the old flame. Jerome and his financial problems. Jerome and his affairs have caught up with him.

HOPE/FEAR Meredith can overcome her past fears, her past with Jerome. Her hope is that her new work will be accepted by the business and it will be a success.

RESOLUTION

Meredith’s work is a hit. She is a success. She wins kudos, business acclaims for work. An Oscar.

ARC Meredith finally breaks from Jerome’s stranglehold on her. Her work is successful. She has a new beginning for her career. A successful beginning. And she finds a possible new love in the works.

ESSENCE Meredith is now feeling good about herself, like she can take on the world with her newfound success in the business.

SUBTEXT Jerome’s work is a failure.

CONFLICT Jerome is determined to make Meredith and her new partner fail.

HOPE/FEAR Fear of the unknown. Will her work be liked, accepted? The hope is that it will and she will be recognized as a great screenwriter.

OLGA’S STORY

COLD OPENING:

EXT. ROYAL FAMILY YACHT – DAY

ARC Family outing. We learn it’s the Romanov’s. A typical day for them. Olga, the oldest daughter is in love with one of her father’s officers. But her love can never be.

ESSENCE Olga is a strong willed young woman, who was born at the wrong time, the wrong place. And she falls in love too easily and with the wrong men.

SUBTEXT Olga is a quiet young woman who keep to herself mostly, she does have some anger issues that pop up from time to time. But it’s the times she lives in, her station in life, her being a woman.

CONFLICT She has conflicts with her mother, her station, the norms of society. She learns the man she loves marries another, in the royal court—a lady in waiting.

HOPE/FEAR The hope that she can love who she wishes, become the ruler of Russia if her brother dies. The fear that her station will not give her the life and the love she wishes, she craves.

INCITING INCIDENT:

INT. GRAND BALL ROOM – NIGHT

ARC Olga learns she can never be czar. Women by law in Russia cannot rule. She wants to stay in Russia. She falls in love again. This time with her distant cousin Dmitri.

ESSENCE Olga cannot be the woman, and the ruler she would hope to be. Her newest love is doomed from the beginning.

SUBTEXT Olga’s sadness stems from her inability to be free to choose and free and others appear to be in her society.

CONFLICT Olga has conflicts with her mother over her station, Rasputin, not wanting to leave Russian, oer her love for Dmitri.

HOPE/FEAR fear she can never be what she wants, do what she wants, hope that the world will change for her. The world and her world are doomed. World War I is around the corner. The Russia Revoution is around the corner.

BY PAGE 10

INT. ROMANOV PALACE — DAY

ARC We know Olga’s life has a sadness to it and an even sadder ending. She will never be who she wants to be, be what she wants to be, love who she wants to love.

ESSENCE A young princess’s life is not so glamorous as the fairy tales have always made it out to be. At least, not for Olga.

SUBTEXT She fights for freedoms, rights, to be what she would like to be.

CONFLICT Dmitri the first one she falls in love with finds himself caught up in a palace intrigue to murder Rasputin. This will cause a great conflict with her mother.

HOPE/FEAR She can change the world to be a freer place for her to live in, to be able to love who she wants to love.

TURNING POINT ONE

INT. ROMANOV PALACE – DAY

Dmitri is caught with his conspirators. He is banished from the kingdom, from ever seeing Olga again. Olga doesn’t forgive her mother.

ARC Olga goes from a young woman in love to a woman who loses her love, and a young woman alone again. A royal princess who falls in love with men she can never hope to have or marry.

ESSENCE Olga is a strong willed young woman and she carries a broken heart with her.

SUBTEXT Olga and her sister Tatiana share secrets.

CONFLICT Olga has conflicts with her mother. She has an inner conflict with the world, her station in life. She can never hope to be the person she would like to be, the czar of Russia if her brother does not live.

HOPE/FEAR She hopes the world will change for her, her future will be brighter, her fear is that it will remain. She hopes to remain in Russia. She fears she will have to leave Russia as required by princesses of the realm.

MIDPOINT

INT. MILITARY HOSPITAL – DAY

The familyis taken hostage by the Bolsheviks as World War I begins and the Russian Revolution. They work at a military hospital caring for the wounded. Olga is not great as a nurse though she tries. She is befriended by another young woman, a nurse who helps her cope with her situation.

ARC Olga goes from a young princess free as she can to live her life in a gilded cage, to a young prisoner of war who takes care of the wounded soldiers. A life she is not altogether happy to lead at the moment.

ESSENCE Olga’s sadness is felt by everyone. Her inability to cope well as a nurse is felt by everyone.

SUBTEXT She pines away for Dmitri.

CONFLICT She still has conflicts with her mother. She has conflicts with the hospital personnel. She doesn’t want to be there. She has conflicts with the me who hold her hostage.

HOPE/FEAR The hope their circumstances will change. The world will change. The fear that the war will continue on. They will not be able to go home.

TURNING POINT TWO

INT. MILITARY HOSPITAL – DAY

A battle has taken place. Many soldiers are wounded, brought to the hospital for care. Olga, though she hasn’t been taking care of soldiers, now finds herself assigned to a few of the wounded. There are so may. One of the soldiers, also named Dmitri, she cares for very much. She falls in love with him. He pretends to fall in love with her.

ARC Olga has been put on desk duty until the battle. And then the battle sends the hospital many war wounded. Olga is assigned to take care of some of them, there are so many. She takes care of one soldier, Dmitri, who she falls in love with and he supposedly falls in love with her.

ESSENCE Olga wears her heart on her sleeve.

SUBTEXT She’s not supposed to be falling in love with soldiers or men beneath her status, yet she does. She must keep it to herself until her friend guesses.

CONFLICT Olga still battles with her mother who also works there. There is war and the women of the hospital weary of it. Olga wants the old life, the way it used to be before the war.

HOPE/FEAR She fears the war will never end. She will never have a peaceful life again. Her hope is that the wars will change things. She will be able to love who she wishes, and for now it is her new love, Dmitri, a common soldier.

INT. SOLDIERS’ TAVERN – NIGHT

CRISIS Olga’s love letters to Dmitri have been shared by Dmitri’s friends, drunk and making fun of her. Olga is humiliated.

ARC Olga is in love. She has found another she hopes to marry. Her hopes are dashed when Dmitri betrays her in the worst way possible.

ESSENCE Olga’s strength and determination and her betrayal show how adult and brave Olga trulyis against the travesties of her life and her country’s life.

SUBTEXT Olga grins and bears it, yet it is breaking her heart to the point of wanting it to all end.

CONFLICT War and the conflict of her love having been betrayed. She sends Dmitri away.

HOPE/FEAR She fears the worst is yet to come. But she hopes the war will end soon.

INT. HOSTAGE HOLDONG CELL – DAY

CLIMAX The Romanovs are spirited away by the Bolsheviks to a place no one will know.

ARC From a broken heart to a broken life..

ESSENCE Strength and courage for the whole family. Olga faces her fate bravely.

SUBTEXT She wants to live, but in this time period she knows she is going to die.

CONFLICT The Romanovs versus the Bolsheviks who are about to kill them.

HOPE/FEAR They all fear they are going to die, but they hope they will be spared.

INT. THE HOLDING CELL – DAY

EXT. THE RUSSIAN BATTLEFIEDS – DAY

RESOLUTION

The Romanovs are murdered, the war goes on, the revolution goes on.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE LESSON EIGHT

FRAN’S INTRIGUING MOMENTS

WHAT I LEARNED: Think about your characters as real people. What would they do, how would they act? Make them real in your head first.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

ACT I

Intrigue: Meredith goes against her husband Jerome’s wishes and buys the old diary anyway.

Secret: She doesn’t want him to find out just yet, so she hides her new purchase in her purse before leaving the shop.

Covert Agenda: She looks for a way to escape the abusive relationships she has with Jerome. She finds a new way to feed and promote her own career without him and without his knowing.

Intrigue: Olga’s story. She falls in love with a man/soldier who serves in her father’s guard. He is beneath her station and so it can never be.

Secret: Olga hides her infatuation until her sister discovers it in her diary.

Covert Agenda: The young soldier winds up marrying a lady in waiting in the Romanov’s court. Olga doesn’t discover it until the wedding.

ACT II

Intrigue: Meredith works with her agent to get her a new job and a new partnership.

Secret: She gets her new assignment. She doesn’t know who her new partner is until the day of their meeting. It’s an old flame she turned down long ago for Jerome—and he is also Jerome’s old nemesis. Jerome’s financial distress is also a big part of his motivation behind his behavior.

Covert Agenda: Jerome finds out who Meredith’s new project business partner is. Jerome says he has no problem, but he secretly works to undermine the new relationship right from the very beginning.

Intrigue: Olga’s story. Olga falls in love with Dmitri a distant cousin. They are madly in love. They plan to get married. But Dmitri gets caught up in the plan to assassinate Rasputin, who’s been a thorn in everyone’s side since his arrival.

Secret: The plot is a secret, but Alexandra, Olga’s mother, finds out who’s responsible and banishes Dmitri from court and forbid him to marry Olga.

Covert Agenda: Betrayal. Olga cannot forgive her mother. She turns to her father until the family is taken hostage and taken to a military installation turned hospital to tend to the wounded soldiers. World War I has begun, and so has the Russian Revolution.

ACT III

Intrigue: Meredith asks for a divorce. A court battle ensues. Litigation gets nasty.

Secret: Jerome’s financial situation comes out in the open.

Covert Agenda: Betrayal. Jerome is not a nice person. He makes fun of Meredith’s ambitions, her work. He belittles her to her friends. He tries to persuade Alex, their daughter, to take his side in the matter.

Intrigue: Olga’s story. At the hospital Olga falls in love with another soldier, also named Dmitri. They start of a relationship that seems on the up and up.

Secret: But Dmitri number two is really not a very nice person. He hides it from Olga to get into her good graces.

Covert Agenda: Olga writes love letters to Dmitri which he shows to his soldier friends. They immediately proceed to make fun of her, put her down, belittle her.

ACT IV

Intrigue: Meredith’s hard work and her revitalized relationship with her old flame is finally paying off, her script is a hit. She receives Kudos, and a nomination for an Oscar for best screenplay.

Secret: Jerome. Hides his failure. His work is not well accepted at the film festivals or by audiences. It’s a flop. He doesn’t tell Meredith until he absolutely has to.

Covert Agenda: Jerome tries to sabotage her chance to win the Oscar.

Intrigue: Ola’s family is taken away by the Bolsheviks to a new location. They are not told where.

Secret: They are hidden away for many days, telling no one where they are or what they are about to do to them.

Covert Agenda: The Bolsheviks keep it hidden until they day of their assassination. And then no one escapes. They are all killed and their bodies left in their prison.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FOUR LESSON SEVEN

FRAN’S EMOTIONAL MOMENTS

WHAT I LEARNED: These are all facets of your character to make them human, approachable, the audience wanting to know more about them.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

ACT I

WOUND

Meredith’s husband, Jerome, treats her poorly. Not like an equal or partner in their marriage or their partnership.

DISTRESS

Joes woes. Meredith’s on the brink of losing her job, her partnership, her marriage.

STRENGTH/COURAGE

Meredith takes the step away from her husband, the partnership to find a new job, a new partner to work with. She finds help in her agent/manager who finds her new work, a new partner.

ACT II

DETERMINATION TO SUCCEED/WIN AT WHAT SHE DOES

No matter her being put down, being called mediocre by Jerome, Meredith perseveres. She pursues a new path where she is able to work and to thrive in her chosen career.

SACRIFICE

Meredith believes she must stay in a loveless marriage for her daughter. She accepts being fired for the sake of working on something new, something exciting for her own sake.

EXCITEMENT

A new job, a new script, Meredith’s idea is loved by someone. She can’t wait to get started on the new work.

SURPRISE/MORAL ISSUE

Jerome’s affairs continue. Alex sides with her mother. She tells her it’s okay to get a divorce.

LOVE

Olga’s falls in love with Dmitri number one. And again with Dmitri number two.

BONDING

Meredith and her daughter, Alex, share moments together as mother and daughterl

HIDDEN WEAKNESS

Jerome’s weakness is his plaguing financial problems, he can’t handle them. And his affairs with very young women, his starlets.

DISTRESS

Meredith’s divorce becomes bitter. It puts her under a lot of stress.

BETRAYAL

Dmitri number two betrays Olga’s love by sharing her love letters with his regiment and making fun of her feelings with them.

FIGHTING/LITIGATION

The divorce is bitter.

ACT IV

SUCCESS/WINNING

Meredith wins praises for her screenplay. Kudos, recognition for her work. She wins an Oscar.

LOVE

Meredith finds friendship, bonding with her old flame and perhaps a new love with an actor from the movie.

COURAGE

She finds strength to leave her past behind with Jerome and find a new friendship and a new love.

BONDING

Bonding with her old flame as a partnership and friend.

EXCITEMENT

Meredith accepts a date with a new man. She has a new career path which excites her very much.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FOUR LESSON SIX

FRAN’S REVEALS

WHAT I LEARNED: Again, this is only to help you become more deeply acquainted with who your characters are, what their motivations are, what their stories are. This week my brain is on fire. It’s starting to mesh everything together and especially with the script I’ve been having trouble with writing.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

ACT I

Meredith buys the diary despite Jerome’s objections. She wants to be obstinate, independent, in charge/control of her work. Not a “yes man” or underling to Jerome. She wants to be treated like an equal partner.

Jerome is a cad. When we see him with his paramour, a very young, younger than his daughter paramour we realize he’s going through a midlife crisis and he’s also bothered by what’s going on behind the scenes at work—big financial problems both professionally and personally.

ACT II

Meredith calls her agent to talk about the story she’s discovered and wants to try to turn it into a script. She’s really looking for validation from her agent, looking for a new work assignment, a new partnership. A way to get out of her failing marriage and partnership with Jerome.

Jerome threatens Meredith’s job partnership. He’s already hired a new writer to take her place. He’ jealous of her and he has the need to hide his own failings from her.

Meredith tells Jerome he’s too late. She quits. She doesn’t let him know she’s already looking for a new partnership. A new job.

ACT III

Meredith’s daughter is a grown woman. She is older than the starlet. She knows about her father’s affairs. She tells her mother when they have their heart-to-heart talk.

New job for Meredith. She learns she is going to be working with an old flame when the meeting they’ve set up, it is finally revealed to her.

Jerome tries to win Meredith back. He’s jealous of her success and of the old flame, who was an old nemesis of his years ago. When Meredith is finally eyeing the freedom she craved and the success she has always wanted in her writing and in a working partnership.

Meredith wins an Oscar. She gets great reviews, kudos. She is now more confident, knows she can do the job. She gets the offer to work with her old flame again. And then, she learns one of the stars of their movie wants her to write him a script and is willing to hire her. He asks her out on a date.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FOUR LESSON FIVE

FRAN’S CHARACTER ACTIONS

WHAT I LEARNED: Just trying to learn what it takes to outline a story, give it beats, etc. I’ve always been a “pantser.” I’m out of my element, but I find that it does give me more clarity in my story with every pass I do make. And I am learning to outline a lot better. And I a learning nothing is set in stone until it’s on film!

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

MEREDITH’S ACTIONS

Plays the humble, dutiful wife second to her husband

She buys the book Jerome says no to behind his back

She calls her agent/manager looking for a new job, partnership

She takes the job

She quits her partnership with Jerome

She talks with her daughter over her predicament/woes

She asks for a divorce

She takes the lead in the litigation against her husband and paramour acrimonious

She goes all out researching/interviewing for her new story/script

She partners up with her old flame

She takes a boat ride on a yacht to get the feel, a ride in a troika

Meredith confronts Jerome’s paramour/starlet

She wins the Oscar, on stage she forgives Jerome, behind the scenes she tells him never to darken her doorstep again.

JEROME

Plays the Big Man on Campus, big shot,

Buys a very expensive gift for their daughter

He argues with Meredith. He instigates the arguments.

He humiliates her on the set, in front of their crew

He throws tantrums

He fires Meredtih

Jerome tries to sabotage Meredith’s work, relationship with new partner/old flame

He’s jealous of the old flame—his old nemesis (Meredith’s new business partner)

Jerome tries to win Meredith back

Jerome leaves, his tail between his legs.

OLGA

She loves the necklace her father gives her.

She’s the belle of the ball

She tries to be an independent young woman. She tells everyone if Alexei doesn’t make it she can become the Czar (Czarina) in his stead) She doesn’t like being told she cannot because of the old laws. No woman can be Czar. She fights that tooth and nail

She argues with her Mother over Rasputin and then her mother’s banishment of Dmitri I

When they are taken hostage, she becomes a nurse to care for the wounded soldiers. She’s not a great nurse and gets into trouble for complaining throwing fits there. She is assigned to a desk until after a battle there are many wounded soldiers and she is assigned to care for some of them again.

She falls in love with Dmitri II and writes him love letters that he uses against her with his sordid friends.

She bravely stands up to her captors when the Bolsheviks take them away to be assassinated before she is murdered.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FOUR LESSON FOUR

FRAN’S NEW OUTLINE BEATS

WHAT I LEARNED: Things will come to you as you work, process your story inside. Just let them flow. This is still not where it needs to be, but I know in the next lessons it will get there.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

NEW OUTLINE

Winter in Russia

Novelty shop in Moscow near the Kremlin. St. Basil’s Cathedral

Christmastime. Lots of snow.

What appears to be a “normal” married couple shopping for a Christmas/birthday gift for their daughter.

Jerome Kearns is an outgoing, gregarious, big spender. He plays the Big Man on Campus. He’s looking at a necklace. It’s a very expensive necklace, once owned by the Grand Duchess Olga Romanov. A St. Nicholas icon on a gold chain.

His wife Meredith Kearns shops around. She’s demure, lets her husband take the lead. Lets him choose the gift for their daughter.

While they’re shopping, they talk about their work. Their partnership. They’re working on a movie they’re filming in Russia.

Meredith comes across an old book, a diary. She takes it down from the shelf, begins reading parts of it. (Here is where we get a first glimpse of the story she will be writing about: Olga and her short life as a young woman, and of her tragic loves.)

The story intrigues her. She wants to buy the book. But Jerome tells her it’s too expensive. Too frivolous. They’re on a shoestring budget. Why does she want it anyway? It’s an old diary. He tells her no and that’s that. She puts it back.

Jerome buys the necklace and tells Meredith he’s leaving –they’re leaving. He leaves. She hesitates a moment, talks to the proprietor, and then slips him some money for the book. He retrieves the book for her. She hides it in her purse. She then leaves.

They are “home.” At the apartment they’re staying in.

Jerome gets a call. He says it’s work. He needs to leave to take care of something. Don’t wait up for him. It’s suspicious—like always, but she doesn’t question. Meredith begins to relax a little. She gets the book she bought at the shoppe, sits down, begins to read in earnest.

(Here is where we get the first story of Olga’s loves. She’s a teenager as her story open. She has her first love/crush on a man she can never hope to marry. A military officer serving on her father’s royal yacht. Her first heartbreak: he marries one of their ladies in waiting.)

We learn Jerome hasn’t really gone to work to take care of something. He, instead, is with his young starlet actress, mistress. He is much older than her. She is merely 20, around the same age as his daughter. But she makes him feel like a big man again. Young again. Alive. (Mid Life crisis.) He takes her to bed quickly, easily. The starlet is using Jerome, too, to corporate climb.

Meredith has gone to bed—alone—again. She can’t sleep, unable to cope with the loneliness and being alone in a failing marriage.

NEXT MORNING:

ON SET. Jerome is in full vigor. Fawning all over his starlet. And giving his crew a rather blustery hard time of it. The starlet is not having a great time of it, either. She’s complaining about the script. She can’t do the scene as written. She wants it re-written to her liking. To her specifications. Jerome gives in to her demands.

Jerome and Meredith get into an argument over the changes. She can’t totally rewrite the scene the way she wants it, she says. To honor the history the story revolves around. She doesn’t want to compromise history for the star.

Jerome tells Meredith to write the scene as HE/SHE wants it done, or he’ll hire someone who can and will. He humiliates Meredith in front of the crew.

She goes home to try to write the scene the way she Jerome and the starlet want it done. But can’t.

She calls her agent/Manager. They have a heart-to-heart talk. Meredith tells her what happened. The agent understands. This has been going on for some time now. It’s taking a toll on Meredith’s work. she pleads with Meredith to leave him. Meredith tells her she can’t. Too invested in the marriage and the partnership. She then tells her agents she’s thinking about starting a new script on her own. She found an old diary. Some of the story she conveys to her. (Here we get more of a glimpse into the life of Olga.) She fears she might get fired off the set if she doesn’t come up with a satisfactory version of the scene soon. Agent gives her her blessing to quit anytime. Meredith tells her to start looking for something new she can work on. And a new partner. She can’t work with Jerome anymore, not like this. He can’t work with me. It’s just as well. Agent tells her to ask for a divorce. Everyone knows about his tawdry little affairs. Can’t. Not yet. Not until this movie’s done. What will my daughter think. Your daughter is a grown woman. She’ll be more than okay. In the meantime, I’ll see what I can do. She urges her to start working on her story.

Meredith’s agent calls up Meredith’s old flame to talk with him. She already knows he ‘s been looking for a writer, a new project, and to get back with Meredith. He knows about Jerome’s little escapades, too, over the years and wants to get Meredith out of that situation.

Meanwhile:

Jerome’s meeting with his producers, money lenders. It isn’t going well. They tell him if he doesn’t get it wrapped up soon the money tree is going to shrivel up and die.

Meanwhile:

Meredith has the new scene ready and takes it to the studios. It still isn’t right. Jerome’s a bear on the set—again. Already he’s gotten a new writer behind Meredith’s back. They get into another argument. Jerome says she’s fired. Meredith says too late. She quits, and leaves the set.

She goes home to their apartment where her daughter Alex is waiting. They have a heart-to-heart talk. They discuss a divorce. The agent urges her. The daughter is on her mother’s side. She knows about her father’s little escapades. And she can’t stand to see her mother hurting like this. Meredith spills out everything to her, including the little shopping spree they had. Alex doesn’t care. She doesn’t want to see her mother hurting anymore. It’s okay if she wants to get a divorce.

Meredith gets a phone call. It’s her agent. She tells her she’s found someone that loves her story idea and wants to produce it. He wants to meet with her asap. Meredith and Alex are ecstatic about it. Meredith says yes. It’s a greenlight on the new project. When can they meet?

Meredith goes to Jerome. Tells him it’s over. The partnership. She tells him of the new job she has agreed to take on. She tells him this time it’s my work, my efforts, my script alone. Not one of your starlet whore’s wannabe efforts.

Meredith meets with her new partner. It’s her old flame come back into her life. She’s surprised to see him. They catch up on old times. He tells her he knows about Jerome. It’s not going to be a problem with their work relationship. They get started on the work. Knowing who Meredith’s new partner is makes Jerome very unhappy.

(Here’s where the story of Olga and her new love Dmitri number 1 comes in. They meet at a grand ball. They fall in love.

We learn of Rasputin, the spell he’s cast over the Czarina Alexandra, and of Alexei’s hemophilia.

Intrigue sets in when Dmitri 1 gets caught up in the plot to assassinate Rasputin. Alexandra has Dmitri banned from Russia, banned from the family and from ever seeing Olga again. At some point Olga receives a beautiful string of pearls from her mother. But she throws him back at her. She is so angry for banishing Dmitri. She won’t speak to her for a long time.)

At some point in the middle of shooting, Meredith meets the actor who plays Nicholas II. He tells her the script she’s written is a joy. It’s a joy and a privilege to be working with her.

Meredith’s self-confidence soars. It makes her very happy to hear she’s made someone on the set very happy with her work. And that her old flame is very happy with her work.

But Jerome is not. He has it out with the old flame. He accuses Meredith of being disloyal. He tries to sabotage their work while his world is starting to fall apart completely. He struggles to finish his filming when he realizes Meredith’s integral part in getting it done. He tries to sabotage Meredith’s new relationship with her old flame. It backfires on Jerome.

Meredith, so fed up with Jerome, finally asks him for a divorce. He fights it hard. Litigation.

(Here were learned about Olga’s final days with her family. The Romanovs are held as hostages at a military hospital where they work as nurses taking care of wounded soldiers. And Olga meets her friend, Valentina, who works there also as a nurse. They are young, pretty women. The war rages on. More soldiers come in. Too many. Olga hasn’t been a nurse for a while. She’s not cut out to be one. But they need extra hands. One, in particular, is badly wounded. Olga is assigned to care for him. It takes some days, but he is finally able to sit up, take in some food. He is healing. Olga, a romantic, falls for him. The young soldier takes full advantage. He wines and dines her, makes her believe he’s in love with her as well. She writes him love letters he shares with his soldier friends to laugh and ridicule her and the royal family. Olga learns of his unkindness. She will never forgive and never forget. She vows there will be no husband for her. She will never fall in love again and have her heart broken. But before too long, the family is taken hostage again and sent to a prisoners’ camp where they wait only a short time. In just days the Bolsheviks have overrun the Russian government, taken it over and they have come to execute the royal family. A young soldier finishes the job by tearing the St. Nicholas necklace Olga has worn and never taken off from her neck and pockets it as they escape.)

The film is finished, the final scene is gut wrenching. They are saddened by what happened to the royal family. Meredith tells her old flame what it was like writing the scene—for her it was like living with Jerome, knowing what he was doing, but never having the courage to stand up to him. She doesn’t know if she can forgive him. That remains to be seen.

The film finally debuts and it’s a hit, the critics love Meredith’s work. They nominate her script for best screenplay. Jerome’s film, however, is a flop. There are no audiences for it at the festivals.

Meredith wins her Oscar and all the kudos that come with it.

Jerome comes crawling back to Meredith. He tries to win her back. Meredith tells him no. It’s too late. She felt lie Olga all the while he was having affairs behind her back, and humiliating her in from of his crew. But that’s water under the bridge now. And she does forgive him. Alex has forgiven him, too. But never darken her doorstep again. It’s over. It’s finally over. And she free of him and everything he’s done to her. But unlike Olga, she lives to tell the tale.

The old flame is happy, content. He wants to work with Meredith again sometime. She agrees.

And then she is visited by the actor who played Nicholas in the movie. He has come to tell her of his joy and experience playing her character. He wants her to write his next script. He wants to hire her. And he asks her out to dinner—to discuss the details. She happily accepts both the job offer and the date.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FOUR LESSON THREE

FRAN’S BEAT SHEET DRAFT ONE

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

WHAT I LEARNED: Same. Just keep plugging away. Just let your inner self work on the writing and keep studying, learning. Learn wherever your whimsy takes you! Make it a kind of mental field trip. It really makes you think about your characters, too!

WORKING TITLE: WINTER’S LOST LOVE

GENRE: HISTORICAL FICTION/DRAMA

LOGLINE: The discovery of an old diary written by a friend of Czar Nicholas II’s daughter turns the doomed princess’s little known, tragic love story into a blockbuster Hollywood movie and an Oscar for its discoverer and screenwriter.

BEAT SHEET DRAFT ONE

ACT I

Meredith Kearns decides to end her working and marital relationship with her husband and go it alone to make it in the movie business.

MPJ Protagonist

Meredith Kearns. Her husband treats her like dirt. Walk all over her. Dishonors their working relationship. She’s had enough. She wants out of the partnership and her marriage. She takes steps to being that process. To heal and to have a better life.

JAJ Antagonist

Jerome’s career isn’t going the way he wants it to and he’s taking it out on Meredith. He’s also gotten himself in too deep with financial problems. And his later affair with his leading lady is draining him to the point of no return. He’s looking for a way to redeem himself, while taking his misery out on Meredith

DEEPER LAYER

The marriage/partnership hasn’t worked for years. Meredith’s work as a screenplay writer suffers because of her bullying, dominating, director/producer husband whose own career is failing because of his shortcomings and because of his many affairs with his leading starlets. She’s let is slide, told no one, prayed it would resolve, but it hasn’t. Finally, she realizes it isn’t going to get any better and finally confides in someone who can an does help her.

GENRE CONVENTIONS:

Meredith’s new screenplay is based on a time in history concerning the Romanov family during World War I and the Russian Revolution, the story of Grand Duchess Olga (a real person) in her last days.

BEGINNING:

Jerome and Meredith Kearns, a married couple who also share a partnership in the movie business as screenwriter and director/producer of films, are currently shooting a film in Russia, on location. They have taken time off to go shopping for a birthday/Christmas gift for their daughter, Alexandra. On the outside, they appear as a normal, loving couple who loves their daughter.

MPJ

Meredith is unhappy as she shops for her daughter’s gift, as well as other items of interest. She allows her husband to dominate, have control (say) over their purchases. She spots an old book, a diary, starts reading it. The story inside interests her. She thinks it could be a great story idea for another screenplay. She wants to purchase the book. In order to do so, she hides it from her husband in her purse when he’s not looking and purchases the book herself before they leave the shop.

Returning home, Meredith opens up the diary, begins reading.

JAJ

Jerome is a blustery, show-off. He likes to throw his money around. Play the important movie mogul. He buys a string of pearls, very expensive, for their daughter. Pearls that are alleged to have belonged to the last Grand Duchess of Russia during her last days on this earth. Meredith has no say in the purchase. Jerome tells her she is not to buy her item, the old diary. It’s way too overpriced and to leave it. (She doesn’t listen. Buys it anyway.) he is deliberately belligerent about his dictating to her. After the purchase he ignores his wife as they leave the shop.

Jerome doesn’t stay home for very long. A disagreement (a ploy to get him out of the apartment) lends its help for Jerome’s escape to his mistress’s apartment where they continue on with their torrid affair behind Meredith’s back.

DEEPER LAYER

Jerome is experiencing money problems, for one thing. Cash flow for the film. He’s hidden it from Meredith. His troubles stem from disgruntled other producers who are footing the bill. The film’s overbudget and taking way too long to complete. The partners are breathing down his neck to get it done or they’re going to pull the plug on him.

Jerome is also experiencing a mid-life crisis, having an affair with a starlet 20 years his junior. Feeling old, looks are fading. Maybe the starlets don’t want to hang around him anymore. Hence, playing the Daddy Warbucks persona for them to get them to like him.

GENRE CONVENTIONS:

They are in Russia filming. It is winter. The diary Meredith purchases was written by a friend of Grand Duchess Olga when they worked together in the military hospital during World War I. The shop itself where the couple shop in an older shop, of collectables and antiques of historical interest. The mood of the opening scenes is decidedly dramatic.

We begin to learn the story of Grand Duchess Olga and the Romanov family when Meredith begins reading Valentina’s (Olga friend in the hospital) diary. Her story is set in the late 19^th – early 20^th centuries.

INCITING INCIDENT:

ON SET. Meredith, co-producer on the movie as well as screenwriter, experiences the wrath of her husband when the day’s shooting of one important scene isn’t going well. He tells Meredith it’s her fault. Her writing is mediocre, not good enough and he wants the scene he’s having trouble shooting fixed. And Jerome won’t listen to Meredith’s input when she offers solutions that might “fix” his problem. Starlet isn’t helping either. She’s griping about the scene herself, grand standing to get Jerome’s attention.

MPJ

Meredith tries to come up with scenes she thinks Jerome will like. Nothing pleases him. She says she’ll try to fix it, but that’s the way the story was told from the material she adapted. She really doesn’t want to fix what isn’t broken.

JAJ

Jerome won’t listen to it. He tells her to fix it now AND the way he wants it fixed, or he’s hiring a writer who will. He walks out with the shooting’s done for the day—until the scene’s fixed!

DEEPER LAYER

The film over budget, over the days allotted to film it, the money lenders are breathing down Jerome’s neck. They are telling him if it continues much longer, they are going to pull the plug on the production.

GENRE CONVENTIONS:

Drama playing out between Meredith and Jerome. She learns of her husband’s latest affair with their star.

BY PAGE TEN:

We know Meredith has a huge working and marital relationship problem with her husband. She’s not happy and she’s looking for a way out. She wants to be happy.

MPJ

Meredith has had enough of her husband’s bullying and keeping her at arm’s length and not treating her as an equal partner in their business. And of his torrid affairs that continue to hit the tabloids whenever they happen and make a fool out of her.

JAJ

Is a bully, abusive and he’s pretty much failing at his work and his relationship with Meredith. Not ot mention he’s in a financial crisis AND a midlife crisis.

DEEPER LAYER

The extramarital affair, the financial problems. Jerome’s hiding it all from Meredith.

GENRE CONVENTIONS:

We are introduced to Grand Duchess Olga’s story through the diary and other historical means. The main story is also a drama.

TURNING POINT ONE:

Meredith is fired from her job on the movie and is forced to find other work.

MPJ

Meredith calls her agent, tells her what has happened. She’s had enough and wants out of her working relationship with Jerome. And she wants a divorce. She asks her to see if there’s something out there new for her to do. She also tells her agent about the diary she discovered and thinks she wants to turn it into a script. At least she wants to try. The agent’s supportive and tells her she’ll look around. Try to find something she can do.

JAJ

Another setback for Jerome. The scene still isn’t to his liking. He’s just using it as an excuse. He’s also already hired his new writer. He tells Meredith on the set, in front of their staff, she’s fired.

DEEPER LAYER

We learn it’s not only Jerome’s financial situation that’s hurting the relationship. It’s the young starlet and her demands on the film. Jerome is not about to lose his relationship with her and caters to her whims. So, it’s either her or Meredith. Jerome decides it’s Meredith who’s got to go to keep his paramour happy.

GENRE CONVENTIONS:

Olga’s love story is as turbulent as Meredith’s. She’s fallen for one man beneath her station. Then another she wishes to marry. They are madly in love. But circumstances later on will keep them apart. The assassination of Rasputin that he is involved in and then Olga’s mother, the Czarina Alexandra who was mesmerized by Rasputin, is unforgiving when Olga’s intended is discovered to be part of the plot. He is banished from the kingdom never to see Olga or Russia ever again.

MIDPOINT:

Meredith gets a new, fresh start, a new job, a new partner.

MPJ

Meredith’s agent has found someone who loves her story idea and is willing to work with her on the new project. To front the film. Meredith jumps at the chance to start fresh, be on her own with a new partner.

She also learns her daughter supports her in her decisions. She knows about her father’s affairs and how he’s been treating her mother for awhile now.

And then Meredith learns who her new partner is. He’s an old flame from her past, and an old rival of Jerome’s.

JAJ

Jerome finally finishes his filming, but the work isn’t as good as he wanted it to be. The film festival he debuts it at does not receive the work well—as well as he would have wanted it to be. At some point he learns his work has been ridiculed.

DEEPER LAYER

The old flame not only wants to see if he can renew their relationship, he wants to stick it to Jerome for treating Meredith the way he has.

Old flame also knows of Jerome’s infidelities and wants to help Meredith break away from the pain and heartache. As well as reaching her full potential in becoming a screenwriter.

GENRE CONVENTIONS:

In many ways Meredith’s struggles are Olga’s struggles, needing to step up to the plate, wanting a fulfilling love, dealing with a difficult mother, nothing ever really truly going her way in life (on top of it Olga has to struggle with an ailing brother. She thinks he can rule Russia if Alexei doesn’t live to become Czar. By law she can never rule. Women weren’t allowed to rule then.)

Dealing with world war. The death of Rasputin. Living like hostages at a military hospital taking care of wounded soldiers.

TURNING POINT TWO:

Old Flame, producers are really happy with Meredith’s work. The film is excellent. Meredith is healing from her emotional wounds.

MPJ

Meredith is becoming stronger, more resilient to Jerome’s advances and pleas. She has the courage, the strength to finally say no.

JAJ

Jerome tries to win Meredith back, begs her, knowing he made a huge mistake. And he tries to get her to come back by sabotaging his old rival’s work.

Jerome tries to sabotage Meredith’s work, spreads rumors about her and her old flame.

DEEPER LAYER

The truth comes out. The old flame was a far better film student when he and Jerome were in Film school together. Jerome’s jealousy deepens the rift between him and Meredith. The working relationships he has, his final failure as a prestigious film director producer.

GENRE CONVENTIONS:

Olga’s new love, Dmitri II (the second Dmitri she fell in love with) has captured her heart, but he is not the man she thinks he is. He ruins her reputation by showing love letters she wrote to him while he was recovering, he spreads rumors, calls her unsavory names. Her heart is broken.

CRISIS:

Meredith finalizes her divorce after much contention and litigation. Jerome makes her life miserable.

MPJ

She overcomes her difficulties with Jerome and her career when the film and screenplay she wrote are very well accepted, critically acclaimed. She is nominated for an Oscar, best screenplay.

JAJ

Jerome is jealous of her good fortune. He is a broken man. His world collapses around him.

DEEPER LAYER

Olga’s life is tattered when the family is taken and held as prisoners of the Revolution. They do not know if they will live or die.

GENRE CONVENTIONS:

The Revolution was a cruelty to the Romanov family. They were all assassinated at the hands of the revolutionaries.

MPJ

Meredith’s work, prestige skyrockets in the business.

JAJ

Jerome leaves broken, a broken man, no win, no glory for him.

DEEPER LAYER

Jerome knows he did very wrong.

GENRE CONVENTIONS:

The pearl necklace that was Olga’s is the focus of the movie’s ending. The jewels of the Romanovs, I believe, were not recovered for a long time.

RESOLUTION:

MPJ

Meredith’s won an Oscar. her career is taking off. She’s out to find new work. The old flame makes a partnership deal with her they both are happy about. The actor who played Nicholas in the movie has a proposition for her. He wants her to write his next great part. She accepts and she is asked out to dinner by him.

JAJ

Jerome’s life has fallen apart. His leading lady actress leaves him for greener pastures. His work goes down the tubes. He is now a broken man.

DEEPER LAYER

He is remorseful and wishing he hadn’t treated Meredith the way he did. His jealousy also has gotten the better of him. He finds they are not so forgiving either.

GENRE CONVENTIONS:

Because Olga loved Dmitri II too deeply, and he is a cad, he’s ruined her reputation. She is remorseful that she fell in love. She wants Dmitri I back.

But before that, she and her family are captured by the Bolsheviks. They are held hostage for a short time and finally murdered.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FOUR LESSON TWO

FRAN’S DEEPER LAYERS

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

WHAT I LEARNED: Same. Just keep plugging away. Just let your inner self work on the writing and keep studying, learning. Learn wherever your whimsy takes you! Make if a kind of mental field trip.

HIGH CONCEPT: The discovery of an old diary written by a friend of Czar Nicholas II’s daughter turns the doomed princess’s little known, tragic love story into a blockbuster Hollywood movie and an Oscar for its discoverer and screenwriter.

SURFACE LAYER: Meredith is having marital problems. She tries to work with her husband on their film together, but she’s not good enough in his eyes. Her work’s not good enough. He tells her he’s going to fire her and get a new writer, if she doesn’t conform to his ways, to his demands, what HE wants.

DEEPER LAYER: Jerome is a bully. But he has his own insecurities. He lays all his problems on Meredith’s shoulders without telling her what’s really bothering him. He’s having big financial problems with the people who’s footing the bills for their film. And the filming’s taking way too long, off scheduld, over budget. He’s arguing with them. And they’re telling him if he doesn’t get it done soon, they’re going to pull the plug on him.

He’s also having affairs with his leading ladies. Young leading ladies. He’s in the middle of a midlife crisis as well.

MAJOR REVEAL: Meredith is seeking a new writing assignment. When she gets it, she finds she’s going to be working for an old flame of hers who loved her idea for her new script. And he’s an old rival of Jerome’s.

Her daughter Alexandra, supports her mother’s move to leave the project and Jerome. She knows about her father’s affairs.

INFLUENCES SURFACE STORY: Jerome learning of Meredith’s new work and who’s behind it makes him jealous, spurs him on to try to win Meredith back while still trying to sabotage her work.

HINTS: Her story of Grand Duchess Olga gives us hints about Meredith’s personal life and loves, her inner feelings. The expensive string of pearls Jerome buys for their daughter is a major hint about the story, too. About how lavish he is on some things and too frugal on others. And how he treats Meredith.

CHANGES REALITY: Reality is changed when Meredith moves on and strikes out on her own. She takes a job with an old flame and her work is critically acclaimed, nominated for an Oscar and wins best screenplay for her work. She is highly sought after now as a writer and she no longer has to rely on Jerome for validation.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FOUR LESSON ONE

FRAN’S CHARACTER STRUCTURE

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

WHAT I LEARNED: This is only a draft. Placeholders as the story and the work develops. It will get better as my inner self works on the story a lot more to insure that is does get better as time goes on and I work on the outer stuff.

HIGH CONCEPT: The discovery of an old diary written by a friend of Czar Nicholas II’s daughter turns the doomed princess’s little known, tragic love story into a blockbuster Hollywood movie and an Oscar for its discoverer and screenwriter.

PROTAGONIST: MEREDITH

BEGINNING: Appears to be a “normal” married couple shopping for a Christmas/birthday gift for their daughter. They are in Russia filming. They are taking time out of their schedule. Jerome is his outgoing, gregarious self. Playing the lavish, big spender. Meredith is demure, letting her husband steal the show. Take the lead in their buying the gift.

INCITING INCIDENT: Meredith, looking quite unhappy, allows her husband to pick out the gift while she shops around the store. Meredith spots an old diary on one of the bookshelves that’s for sale. She takes it down, reads some of it. She wants to buy it, thinking it could be a great source for another story, another screenplay to write. But her husband blasts her for wanting to buy something so frivolous, too expensive for what it is. He ridicules her and proceeds to buy the gift for their daughter: a pearl necklace that allegedly was owned by the Grand Duchess Olga when she was alive. Very expensive.

TURNING POINT ONE: Meredith is humiliated by her husband on set. She is told she’s not a very good writer, there are problems in her script she needs to fix—the way Jerome wants it done. She tries to tell him about the scene and why she wrote it the way she did. He’s not having any of her input and tells her he’s thinking about hiring a new writer—if she’s not going to do it his way. Meredith decides that she can’t take it anymore. Something needs to change before it changes her, makes her quit writing. AND she tells him she KNOWS about his LATEST affair. She’s known all along and of all the others.

ACT TWO

TURNING POINT TWO/MIDPOINT: Meredith goes to call her agent to let her know what’s happening with Jerome and their marriage. She asks if she can find another assignment for her to work on before Jerome actually does fire her. And if she can find her a good divorce attorney. She talks about the diary she found in the store and she’s going to start working on her own story—free from Jerome.

The agent calls her right away, excited. She tells Meredith she’s found a director/producer who’s willing to work with her on the diary story. It’s an old flame from Meredith’s past.

In the midst of one of Jerome’s on set tantrums, Meredith quits and tells him that she leaving to sort things out about her life, their marriage, everything. She wants a divorce.

ACT THREE

TURNING POINT THREE: When Jerome finds out what Meredith’s doing and who she’s working with, he tries to get her back: in their marriage, on the set of his movie. The old competitor that made his life miserable when he was just starting out and trying to court Meredith, too. He wants payback.

Meredith’s daughter in the meantime has a hear to heart talk with her mother. Tells her, she’s known about her father’s affairs for a long time. And she supports her mother in whatever she decides. She knows she hasn’t been happy and if it means divorcing her father, she’s okay with that.

ACT FOUR

CRISIS/CLIMAX: Jerome tries to sabotage Meredith’s new life with her new assignment and old flame. He starts rumors that they’re having a seedy love affair and purposely breaking apart their working relationship. Meredith has to go on the offensive to try to salvage her reputation.

She finally has to go pubic with her story and then finish up her work with her old flame. The movie is made despite Jerome’s efforts to sabotage it. The movie is a big hit. Critically acclaimed. Meredith learns she’s been nominated for an Academy Award as best screenplay writer.

RESOLUTION:

She wins. She tells Jerome he’s not in charge of her life anymore. She is a good writer. She wishes him no ill will but she is free now. She is going her separate way. To finalize their divorce.

She also has a new partner to work with. The old flame has another project he would like her to work on with him. She accepts the challenge.

She gets a surprise visit from the actor who played Nicholas II in the movie. He asks her out to dinner and talks about a role he would like her to write for him—if she’s willing. It appears he’s quite an admirer and Meredith is quite willing to step out again to find new love.

ANTAGONIST: Jerome

BEGINNING: Jerome is under the gun. Under a tight schedule. Going over budget going over the time to shoot the film. He’s owing a lot of money, too, personally—and needing money to finish filming on location. He’s taking his frustration out on his wife and business partner Meredith. And stepping up his affair with his star of his film.

INCITING INCIDENT: The studio is breathing hard down his neck to get him to wrap up the shooting, get it done. The money is suddenly cut off. He’s given so many days to finish it or it’s scrapped. He takes his frustration out on Meredith, telling her if he doesn’t do the script his way, he’s hiring a new writer who will.

TURNING POINT ONE: His temper gets the better of him, when Meredith quits, finding out a new writer has already been hired to replace her. She walks out on their partnership and their marriage.

ACT TWO

TURNING POINT TWO/MIDPOINT: Jerome can’t handle it and tries to get her back when he learns who she’s going to work for: and old nemesis from his early days of learning film and theater.

ACT THREE

TURNING POINT THREE: He tries to distract Meredith and win her back while his own work suffers. He tries to solicit his daughter for help. But she won’t help him. She tells her father in so many words, she knows about his affairs and his treatment of her mother. She’s siding with her. And she walks away.

ACT FOUR CRISIS/CLIMAX: And then Jerome learns Meredith has been nominated for an Oscar, while his work has been pretty much ignored by the critics. He tries to sabotage her getting the Oscar, but that backfires on him as well. The old flame learns what he’s up to and stops him.

RESOLUTION: He has been completely humiliated by Meredith’s win and Meredith’s new business partner. But she bears him no ill will. They part ways amicably. Jerome must now accept Meredith’s new life and try to salvage his own.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE THREE LESSON EIGHT

FRAN’S SUPPORTING CHARACTERS

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

WHAT I LEARNED: This is coming so easily now. Stuff just pops into my head, whether I go with it later or not.

MEREDITH:

Support 1

Name: Meredith’s Agent

Role: She supports Meredith’s work, she is like her best friend, confidante

Main Purpose: She knows Meredith’s worth, conveys it often to her, gets her to where she will be in the end—winning an Oscar

Value: a great friend and supporter, sounding board, helps Meredith see her work as a valuable artist.

Support 2

Name: New Director/Producer and the old flame

Role: New Director/Producer and Meredith’s old flame

Main Purpose: helps to guide her, see her worth as a writer on his film. Helps her become the “star” of scriptwriters

Value: He offers her the kind of love she didn’t have with Jerome

JEROME:

Support 1

Name: His Assistant

Role: Besides being his right hand on the set, he enables Jerome to carry on his affairs behind Meredith’s back.

Main Purpose: is to cater to Jerome’s every need, whim without any thought or consideration for Meredith’s feelings—or others

Value: he helps Jerome to fail in his attempt to be a great director/producer. He helps him be a failure in his marriage.

Support 2

Name: Leading lady

Role: To star in Jerome’s movie, to be his paramour.

Main Purpose: She undermines Meredith and her work on the set as the screenwriter. She is a diva to contend with.

Value: She is there to open Meredith’s eyes to the fact that her husband is cheating on her and they together are trying to undermine her career as a writer.

OLGA:

Support 1

Name: Valentina

Role: is Olga’s best friend at the Military infirmary She is the writer of the diary, Olga’s story

Main Purpose: She is there to help Olga get through the dark days of the war and of her love for Dmitri number 2

Value: She gets Olga to see her worth as a human being, not just the Grand Duchess of Russia and she helps her see her worthiness of being loved by the right man

Support 2

Name: Tatiana

Role: Olga’s sister

Main Purpose: To support Olga, to be her best friend within her family, to help her be a happy person despite her role, help her cope with their mother who is all taken up with Rasputin and his antics in the court.

Value: she is family and she loves her older sister unconditionally. She helps her cope with the nonsense of Rasputin and her mother’s infatuation with him

Support 3

Name: Alexandria

Role: mother

Main Purpose: to keep Olga on the straight and narrow as the Grand Duchess, to crush Olga’s heart by banishing Dmitri, her love, from the kingdom for plotting and assassinating Rasputin.

Value: Mother, family, not caring about how Olga feels about Rasputin, being absent with her family under Rasputin’s influence.

Support 4

NAME: Nicholas II

Role: Father, czar of Russia

Main Purpose: there to totally support his daughter Olga

Value: he dotes on her, gives her the freedom she craves

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE THREE LESSON SEVEN

FRAN’S CHARACTER PROFILE PART 2

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

WHAT I LEARNED: Just keep thinking deeper about your character. Think about yourself, too, what you are, what you want, put yourself in their shoes.

HIGH CONCEPT: The discovery of an old diary written by a friend of Czar Nicholas II’s daughter turns the doomed princess’s little known, tragic love story into a blockbuster Hollywood movie and an Oscar for its discoverer and screenwriter.

CHARACTER’S JOURNEY: Meredith goes from doubting her abilities and listening to her husband’s telling her she’s not a great writer, to a woman who is self-confident in her ability to write incredible stories for the movies and believing in herself and actually liking herself and her independence.

ACTOR ATTRACTORS: a character who is dutiful and supportive of her husband, not thinking of herself and her own abilities, to an independent woman who supports herself and has the ability to take on the task and win on her own terms.

MEREDITH

CHARACTER SUBTEXT: She want to say, but she withholds. She holds back to keep the peace between her and her husband, keep peace in her job and keep the peace in her marriage in general.

CHARACTER INTRIGUE: She has competition with her husband, other writers and with the leading ladies of her husband’s films

FLAW: She undervalues herself all the time because of her circumstances that hold her back.

VALUES: She wants to do her best. She wants to be her best self. She wants to do what she loves and she loves her daughter.

CHARACTER DILEMMA: She want to work with her husband on his films to please and support him. But she wants, in the same breath, to have fame, too, recognition, be in the limelight for herself and her work.

JEROME

CHARACTER SUBTEXT: He lies, hides his affairs, doesn’t show that he knows he’s failing, is a loser.

CHARACTER INTRIGUE: He deceives. He has an unspoken wound. He wants film recognition from his peers and the community, but never really gets it.

FLAW: His flaw if overconfidence. He is a poor decisionmaker.

VALUES: He loves his daughter. He wants to win. He does want to succeed. He can be a good friend when he wants to be.

CHARACTER DILEMMA: He talks a good game that he’s the best and knows what he’s doing versus having the actual skills needed to become great. Wanting the external admiration, recognition versus knowing he has to be a better father, a better husband.

OLGA

CHARACTER SUBTEXT: She hides something. She doesn’t want the life of the Grand Duchess. She just wants to be a normal person, and everyday citizen.

CHARACTER INTRIGUE: She has an unspoken wound. She loves too fiercely. She’s too naïve when it comes to men.

FLAW: She is too trusting, too impulsive at time.

VALUES: She loves the common people, wants to help them. She loves her family. She is intelligent, she is famous. She is caring.

CHARACTER DILEMMA: Needing to be the perfect, Grand Duchess of Russia versus just wanting to be a normal, everyday, private citizen—and loved.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE THREE LESSON SIX

FRAN’S CHARACTER PROFILES PART 1

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

WHAT I LEARNED: Same from five. Need to think about your character. Flesh them out. Present them in a way your audiences will accept them, have empathy for them. Want to be their friend and confidante.

Meredith:

She goes from a writer who doubts herself, her abilities, her worth, to an award-winning writer with no doubts that she can deliver the goods.

Doubting, dutiful wife, wanting to please, to becoming a strong, independent woman capable of handling her own stuff and her situations and make her own decisions. She has self-confidence and she is loved for who she is.

She is the Protagonist, the screenwriter who longs to express herself, her wants and needs through a brilliantly written, executed work, finding her happiness and fulfillment in her own personal life, along the way, through her writing.

She is in her 40’s-50’s. She has a grown daughter.

Physical traits: inner beauty, not a raving beauty, but is a quiet beauty about her. Average height, weight, smart, dark features, look mysterious, Kathryn Hepburn-like.

She, at first, needs validation of her work and of who she is through her husband and the people she loves. What she needs is to be able to validate herself, her worth, her ability to do.

She wants to be a successful screenwriter, to work with her husband. But can’t get it.

Her Wound: she marries Jerome, the wrong man for her. There is a love of her life long ago she turned down for the life of a more glamorous, way to become the writer she wanted to be. Thought she could do it through Jerome. More and more she realizes the mistake she made in choosing the wrong man.

Jerome: Antagonist. He’s the philandering husband whose job isn’t going for him like it should. He takes it out on Meredith and others around him. He stifles Meredith’s creativity.

He goes from a successful director/producer to one who doesn’t make it anymore and doesn’t have what it takes to get to the Oscars, which he wants very badly.

He’s in his 40s -50’s

His physical traits: tall, intimidating, strong, chiseled features that make him attractive. He is proud, egotistical, belligerent when he doesn’t get his way. He’s a perfectionist. Can’t get along. He tries to buy people’s love and respect and then tosses it away when he doesn’t need it anymore.

He wants to be a successful director/producer with all the kudos that come with it. He wants Academy recognition. He wants respect. He wants to be the man in charge, who says what goes all the time.

He needs to reigned in and begin to feel what other people feel when they are around him, to get the respect he craves. He needs to walk in the other person’s shoes and learn to be a better man.

He sees that his heyday is waning. He can’t get back his mojo, not like it used to be. He’s never won an Oscar and needs to have a big win desperately. He’s never gotten the recognition from the academy he thinks he deserves.

Olga Meredith’s Protagonist in her screenplay

She is the Grand Duchess of Russia, she is the woman who must be a dutiful daughter, suffer the protocols of her station. She falls in love too easily, she gets hurt. She loses the love of her life through a bit of palace treachery.

She is 18-21.

Her physical traits: (appearance according to Wikipedia) chestnut-blonde hair, bright blue eyes, a broad face an upturned nose. Very fair, sparkling eyes, average height, weight. She was compassionate and sought to help others. She’s quite independent. Has an almost “angelic kindness.” But she does have a quick temper and can be moody at times. She has a strong will and was often disobedient and could be rude and behave very badly.

She wants to have a normal life. She doesn’t really want to be the Grand Duchess or have the trappings. She just wants to be a typical girl and live the life of an ordinary citizen.

But she needs to accept who she is. It is the times that dictate her station in life and what will happen to her. She needs to be more aware of the times and what surrounds her. She needs to be more careful of the men she falls in love with and how they respect her and her station. She will not live long.

She lost the man she loved and wanted to marry through the assassination of Rasputin. He was banished from Russia because of Olga’s mother’s displeasure and was forbidden to ever see Olga again. Although she dearly loved her mother and father, that never set well with Olga.

[Frances Emerson]

Forgot to type in what I learned: You really have to sit down and think about your characters, how you view them, how you want to express themselves before the audience. You don’t want the audience to get the wrong perception. it takes a few minutes, but it’s worth it in the end.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE THREE LESSON FIVE

FRAN’S LIABILITY/RELATABILITY/EMPATHY

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the

WHAT I LEARNED:

Meredith: Good mother, inner beauty, likes quiet beauty in things, good at what she does, tries to be her own woman-fails in her eyes, treats others well, with kindness, has empathy for others, is kind, humble

Her husband is a cad, abusive we’ve all had a cheating s.o.b. in our lives at one time or another, most of us have had children in our lives we want to protect and support. We’ve all wanted to succeed, be successful in what we do and have had frustrations when things didn’t go our way..

Put downs we’ve all had those, self-doubting. Wanting more out of life than the same old, same old and knowing how it feels to get bucked, or it’s taking too long to get it, or being frustrated in not getting what you want. And having failed relationships.

Jerome: Perfectionist, generous with praise—for other people, but never wife. Likes to treat some of his lesser workers like peons, but the higher ups like royalty, best friends—like his best friends. Gregarious, life of the party, the kind of guy you want to be with, be seen with. Loves his daughter. Very good looking.

We’ve all had frustration with work in our lives at times. Nothing ever seems to go right, when needed. And having people get on your nerves. Having the need to regroup, get a fresh start or a reset. Loves his daughter.

We’ve all had a shot at being “losers” at some point. We’ve butted head with someone, something, when things weren’t going our way. We’ve also known independent people in our lives, who weren’t the best fit for us. Meredith and Jerome are just not a good fit for each other.

Olga (Meredith’s protagonist): a good friend, kind, caring, long suffering. Can be flamboyant at times. Gaiety about her, sense of humor, a dreamer. Would rather not be the Grand Duchess, a royal person, just wants to get away from it all and be in love. Just wants to be a regular person, not in the limelight.

But he fulfills her duties, whether she wants to or not. Naïve in many ways, trusting when and where she shouldn’t be. Has inner conflicts that make her want to be someone else, somewhere else. Loves too deeply, gets hurts when she should be guarded.

We’ve all had the great love of our lives. And many of us have lost them in a kind or tragedy or fate we could not control. We’ve all been the center of ridicule, been made fun of at one time. Had fingers pointed at us for who we are, what our circumstances are. Must persevere because other people need us to when we want to crawl away and hide.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE THREE LESSON FOUR

FRAN’S CHARACTER INTRIGUE

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

WHAT I LEARNED: Just ask your characters what they would like to share with you. They will respond!

MEREDITH KERNS

What I came up with:

Unspoken wound/Competition and she strikes back

She married the wrong man! She was in love with someone else before, but it didn’t work out.

She sabotages her husband’s film

She goes to a tabloid to out her husband’s many affairs

She goes to work for her husband’s old rival in the film business

ROLE: screenwriter for her husband’s company and she is a dutiful wife in the beginning

HIDDEN AGENDAS: She goes behind her husbande’s back to take on a new job assignment

COMPETITION: She competes with her husband’s “leading ladies” for her husband’s attention. She wants to be a good screenwriter, she has to do it in competition with her husband’s company

She strikes back with sabotaging his film and she goes to a tabloid to tell-all about her husband’s affairs

CONSPIRACIES: She asks her agent to help her break from her husband’s hold on her. Jobwise.

SECRETS: she knows she married the wrong man. She was in love with someone else before but she never tells anyone—yet anyway. She is in love with him still.

DECEPTION: She doesn’t tell her husband about her new job until she has to.

UNSPOKEN WOUND: She can’t abide by her husband’s treatment of her, but doesn’t say anything until it’s pried out of her.

The old rival filmmaker wants to get back at her husband, too.

The old flame take on a role she wrote in her screenplay.

Tabloid reporter—gossip columnist acquaintance gets an earful

Agent is on her side and helps her at every turn.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE THREE LESSON THREE

FRAN’S SUBTEXT CHARACTERS

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

WHATI LEARNED: You have to get inside the heads of your characters. You need to feel what they feel, think what they think. This is a good way to get started on it.

Meredith Kerns

Secretive—she holds back

She hides thing from her husband, tries to hide them from her daughter

She tries to share at first, but then gives up

Does things without his knowledge or permission/support

Meredith Kerns has a secretive trait. She hides things and her feelings from her philandering husband.

She plays the dutiful wife to his face.

But the she buys the diary anyway against and despite her husband’s wishes.

She tries to work with him even though he’s abusive towards her. But learns things must change when he threatens her job.

She tries to hides things from her daughter, but her daughter knows.

She tries to hides things from her agent, but secretly her agent knows and tries to be supportive beyond the call of duty.

She hides things from herself, it affects her creativity.

She finally stops hiding things, admits she can’t go on this way. She gets honest with herself and finally gets the courage to leave her husband.

Jerome Kerns

Manipulative, abusive, immoral, deceitful

He deliberately picks fights with Meredith to feel superior and in charge. He finds ways to put her down, her talent down. He likes to overlord.

Jerome always must appear in charge, as when he’s buying a gift for his daughter.

Jerome likes to be dominating in his position as director and producer, and never in a kind way. His putdowns and his criticisms are putting an ever-increasing strain on the couples’ marriage.

His picking fights with her, fires her off their movie, his continual need to have affairs with his leading ladies finally wakes Meredith up to do something about it.

Meredith takes a new job behind Jerome’s back, without his knowledge, until at one point she confronts him and she quits.

Jerome gets jealous and angry over her success when she wins her Oscar and gets much praise for her work.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE THREE LESSON TWO

FRAN’S ACTOR ATTRACTORS

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

WHAT I LEARNED: Just keep going. Get something on paper. Don’t give up. Don’t give in to the nay-sayers or those who really want to give you a hard time with your writing. You’re the one in at the helm of your ship. You know where you want to go. JUST DO IT!

1. The power of self and to heal yourself. The “I can do this!” moment. From the battered mentality of the neglected wife to the empowered career woman, screenwriter who shines through. Who wins. Who shows the world “you can do this, too!”

2. She follows her heart, her instincts. She learns to trust the one person she relies on for her career.

3. She buys the diary anyway, despite the objections from Jerome. She reads it and she goes to her agent with her idea for a story. And she deals with her philandering husband as she should. She also listens to her daughter—how she feels about all of it.

4. She becomes a kind of “Aaron Sorkin” through her process.

5. From a wimpy—dutiful—I don’t love myself wife to a powerhouse, confident woman who can do.

6. The questioning herself at the beginning. Questioning her interests, her loves. Questioning “Am I worthy?”

7. Mother-daughter. Olga-author/screenwriter, agent-client, woman-new love.

8. Through her work, Olga’s story and her relationship with her daughter.

9. She’s an “every woman” who’s suffered through a debilitating relationship and has to crawl out and upward to become the new, empowered woman she turns into.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE THREE LESSON ONE

FRAN’S ACTOR ATTRACTORS FOR WINTER’S LOST LOVE

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

WHAT I LEARNED: For my work make it character driven, make it irresistible and make them WANT it! Take the lesson from Ben Stiller. He’s doing exactly what he wants. Movies based on real life stories. He’s working with Rachel Maddow. He’s really become a powerhouse director, producer and that’s a great place to be!

1. I chose The Secret Life of Walter Mitty because it’s about a man who works as a writer, photo editor for Life Magazine that’s going online, no longer a paper magazine. He loses his job to the down-sizing and mean takeover boss. And he’s looking for love, a relationship with Kristin Wiig’s character, Cheryl. He daydreams being an aggressive, assertive hunk of a man, but in real life he’s a wimp.

I LOVE this movie. I LOVE what Ben Stiller does. What he’s currently working on. No more comedy for him. I believe this movie was a major turning point in his career. I really flipped out when I saw Sean Penn in his part as the elusive photographer, Sean, Walter chases after for a negative of a picture he needs for the final issue. It was such a totally different side of Sean we’ve seen with his earlier movies.

2. GENRE: DRAMA

3. TITLE: THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY

4. BIG ACTORS: Ben Stiller, Kristen Wiig, Adam Scott, Shirley MacLane, Kathryn Hahn, Jon Daly, Patton Oswalt

5. It’s a well-known short story by James Thurber and a remake of a movie starring Danny Kaye. I love that movie, too.

Notoriety: A major departure from Ben’s earlier movies. Walter Mitty is also a staple in American literature.

Walter Mitty: Has always captured the imagination of audiences and readers since the short story first appeared. (I remember reading it in school.)

Interesting Actions: His daydreams show him in all sort of “heroic” maneuvers. And then when he goes in search of Sean, his photographer friend. He winds up in the most unique places and situations in any film. He winds up in Iceland and in the Himalaya Mountains hunting/photographing a rare snow cat. This is the scene that makes it all for Sean Penn.

Outstanding Introduction: The movie starts off with showing Walter in a financial question. He’s on an online dating service that’s not working out too well for him, too. The woman he’s interested in, Cheryl, a co-worker, he can’t get up the nerve to text her and ask her out. His mom is moving and it’s draining on him. And then he finds out he’s losing his job.

Range of emotions: Comes with each of his daydreams. He’s a loser, wimp in his daily life, but in his daydreams he’s a hero that manages to save the day. And then his daydreaming starts to take on reality in his search for the photographer. He takes on his mean boss and wins. And gets the girl. There’s also a scene where he’s “Benjamin Button.”

Subtext: plays out with Kristin Wiig’s character Cheryl. He daydreams he wins her heart. But in real life he “avoids” telling her how he feels about her at every turn. He can’t bring himself to asking her out.

Relationships: He has a great relationship with his lab assistant and with his tech support guy at the online dating service. He’s sympathetic with his co-workers. He’s finally striking up a relationship with Cheryl and her son in his search for Sean. But he still can’t seem to get past to asking her out and his mean boss.

Unique Voice: Walter seems to know a whole lot about a lot of things. And he has a past that’s unique. His relationship with his father. And in his budding relationship with Cheryl. She’s the one who tells him how to go about solving the clues to finding Sean, his photographer friend. Which he follows—with sometimes very interesting results.

Truly Special: We all feel like Walter Mitty at times in our lives. We all experience what Walter experiences. Hopes, dreams, wishes. The letdowns. Wants a perfect life. Can he get it?

I looked up why Ben was so drawn to this character and to this script. It was an obviously clear answer for him:

It’s a question that Stiller gets often. “Yeah, of course,” Stiller told Roach, who directed the “Meet the Parents” films. “I think that’s what made it relatable.”

It’s not that Stiller, who’s also a producer on the picture, necessarily identifies with the character, but he understands the draw. Mitty wants to be “a better version of himself,” Stiller said later. “A different version of himself.”

At 47, Stiller is searching for his own Holy Grail: to be taken more seriously as a director. He envisions a future in which he acts less and directs more. “I love acting, but what I love is the freedom you have as a director to tell all different kinds of stories,” Stiller says, “where as an actor, to a certain extent you’re just limited to who you are and what you get cast in. The process is less vulnerable when you’re directing, because you’re supposedly in control.”

https://variety.com/2013/film/news/ben-stiller-on-hollywoods-long-journey-with-the-secret-life-of-walter-mitty-1200911759/

Walter Mitty was this perfect character for him to play and express these exact feelings. The feelings I want to portray in my Meredith as she deals with a philandering husband and a husband who can’t support her work and puts her down every chance he can get.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE TWO LESSON SIX

FRAN’S CHARACTERS THAT ATTRACT ACTORS

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

WHAT I LEARNED: Just keep going, keep brainstorming. Just get started and it begins to flow out.

TITLE: WINTER’S LOST LOVE/ I also like LOST IN A MOMENT OF TIME I’m keeping both, deciding later

CONCEPT: DRAMA: The discovery of an old diary written by a friend of Czar Nicholas II’s daughter turns the doomed princess’s little known, tragic love story into a blockbuster Hollywood movie and an Oscar for its discoverer and screenwriter.

CHARACTER STRUCTURE: DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

MAIN CONFLICT:

Struggling to maintain her career as a screenwriter while working to save her failing marriage with a philandering, egotistical director/producer, Meredith discovers her own worth as a writer—and human being—apart from her marriage and unequal partnership with her husband through a little-known story she discovers about the doomed Grand Duchess of Imperial Russia, her loves and the struggles she endured before her untimely death.

OLD WAYS:

Meredith has accepted her “role” in life: wife, mother, taking the backseat to her husband’s career, wants and needs. She doesn’t give herself much credit for being a great, competent writer. Doesn’t think for herself in that way. She turns a blind eye to her husband’s infidelities.

NEW WAYS:

She no longer believes her writing is mediocre when she wins an Oscar for her script. She divorces her husband for adultery. She forms a new partnership that is beneficial to her career. She tells her daughter not to allow the man in her life to dominate her wants and needs and put his career ahead of hers to the detriment of her career, self-esteem and well-being. She loves what she does. She teaches her daughter to work at what she loves DESPITE BEING TOLD she can’t do it because SHE CAN! She finds a new love in her life, one that is beneficial and supports her career as a screenwriter.

ACT ONE:

OPENING: Christmas time. Taking a break from a shoot to do some shopping for their daughter Alex’s Christmas Eve birthday, Meredith and Jerome Kerns are in a gift/pawn shop in Moscow looking around to find the perfect gift. Jerome finds a strand of pearls that is alleged to have been owned by the Grand Duchess Olga. Very expensive. Meredith objects. Too much of an extravagant gift for Alex. Jerome says nonsense. Nothing is too extravagant for HIS daughter. He proceeds to buy the necklace, among other things, as Meredith quietly retreats to a shelf of old books in the store. She browses them, takes one down. It’s an old diary written by a Valentina. She opens it, begins reading. It’s in Russian, but she can read some Russian. A passage strikes her as very interesting. She asks the clerk how much for the diary. Jerome objects. Too frivolous a buy. Besides, they have all the things they need. He’s ready to leave. Meredith buys the book on the QT and slips it in her purse without Jerome’s knowledge.

ELEVATION: Meredith asks the store clerk who Valentina was. Clerk answers she was the friend and confidante of Grand Duchess Olga when they were nurses together at the military infirmary. She says she wants the diary. Jerome says no. He pays for his items and walks out alone without her. Meredith quietly pays for the diary, slips it in her purse and leaves alone.

INCITING INCIDENT: Next day on the set, Meredith and Jerome have creative differences over the scene they are about to shoot that turns into a heated argument. Jerome WILL HAVE HIS WAY when he objects to Meredith’s reasoning for writing the scene the way she did. He shuts down production for the day and tells her to rewrite the scene the way he wants it written.

ELEVATION: Meredith shuts down. She goes her separate way to calm down and to think through her frustration. She calls her agent, tells her she’s been thinking of taking on a new job. She’s not happy with the job she’s doing now for her husband and he wants a new writer. She wants out of her contract with her husband’s company. The agent says she’ll contact their lawyers and begin the paperwork. Meredith tells her about the diary she found. Maybe something historical this time. A period piece. In the meantime, Jerome has told Meredith he is finishing his shoot and looking for that new writer. Jerome, however, is out furthering his affair with his leading star.

Another night alone, she begins reading the diary … (We are introduced here to Olga’s story here, her first crush, Pavel, and her debutante ball. Olga is with her family on her father’s yacht with a young officer, Pavel. They are in love, but Pavel tells her they cannot be together. He is beneath her station and she must marry a prince—a man of her status. Pavel promptly get engaged to a lady in waiting in the e family’s entourage breaking Olga’s heart.)

when Meredith gets a call from her agent. There’s a producer looking for an experienced writer to write a new script on the fate of Czar Nicholas’s family during the Russian Revolution. Are you game??? Meredith tells her she will think about it. Right now, they’re in the middle of shooting. They won’t be back in the states for a few days yet.

Next day, Meredith and Jerome have another blowout. Jerome, this time fires her outright and walks out asking for the phone number of his new writer. Meredith goes back to their apartment and calls her agent. She tells her YES. She would love to write the script for that producer and begins making plans to return home.

ELEVATION: Meredith gets a call from her agent. She’s found a job for her already. They want you to start right away, she says. They loved your idea. Meredith says what idea. Agent answers the diary. Can you work up a treatment asap? She can. In the meantime, Meredith leaves Jerome a note telling him she’s on her way home. Meredith begins writing on the plane.

TURNING POINT: She has a meeting with her agent and gives her the treatment. The agent falls in love with her story and tells Meredith she will set up the meeting with the producer. She tells her to go home and start outlining the script.

(We are introduced to the man Olga is in love with and slated to marry as the Grand Duchess, her cousin Dmitri, who’s in love with her, but becomes involved with the murder of Rasputin only to get banished from the kingdom and Olga’s life forever. Another heartbreak for Olga.)

ACT II:

NEW PLAN: Meredith talks to her daughter, who knows about her father’s many affairs with his leading ladies. Meredith seems to think that if she takes a break from their partnership, Jerome will come back to her. He needs a break from her as much as she needs one from him. Alex is not so sure. She tells her mother not to stay with her father must for her sake. She supports her mother whatever she decides.

PLAN IN ACTION: They celebrate Christmas and Alex’s birthday as a family, as if nothing’s wrong. Meredith tries to tell Jerome and Alex of her good news. She tries to tell Jerome maybe it’s a good thing. They need a break from each other and the writer he hired can finish the rewrites and whatever shots he needs to finish. She’ll step back. His calls are the best idea all the way around. But Jerome isn’t happy about any of it. He calls her a quitter, a loser. She can’t do anything right and she’ll fail at this job, too, like all the other ones she’s done for their company. Meredith has a spiritual breakdown from the put downs.

(We are introduced to World War I and the Russian Revolution. The czar’s family must go into exile for a little while. They end up at a military hospital with Czarina Alexandra and her oldest daughter become nurses there. Her she meets Valentina. Olga confides in her immediately of her breakup with Dmitri. Olga has a hard time taking care of all the injured soldiers. So, she’s given a desk job for awhile.)

MIDPOINT TURNING POINT: Meredith has her meeting with the new producer. She’s not so sure she can do the job anymore, but the producer assures her she can. He loves the treatment and he can’t wait to get started on the project. He just needs a few changes. She objects for historical reasons. But the producer assures her it’s not about the work already done. He just needs a few changes for the budget and the filming of the movie. She agrees to continue and they quickly get started on the work needed to be done.

(We continue with the story of Olga and her inabilities to cope with the nursing life. Soon there’s a battle where many soldiers are wounded. She must care for some of them. One of them. His name is also Dmitri. Olga after caring for him for some time falls in love with him. And he seems to love her, too.)

ACT THREE:

RETHINK EVERYTHING:

Working with the producer and rereading, reworking her story about Olga—she has a heart-to-heart talk with her daughter about Jerome’s infidelities—the talk transforms Meredith’s way of thinking about her situation, her marriage and how she’s been handling it. She begins to think, it’s not her who’s destroying her marriage. It’s Jerome, his bullying and the affairs he’s having with his leading ladies. Alex tells her mother she has seen how her fathers’ been treating her. She’s unhappy about it, too. She tells her mother again she has her own life to live. Don’t stay with daddy on account of me. She’s a very special mom and a good writer. She’s seen her stuff. She loves it. It’s time now to find someone new to love. It gets Meredith to thinking about her life, her role as a mother a wife—and a writer—through the eyes of Olga and her heartbreaks.

(We get to learn about Olga’s new love and their love story. She writes him long and tender love letters. And then …)

NEW PLAN:

She gets to the point of Olga’s dilemma of loving a man who’s no good and disrespectful and then comes the kidnapping and ultimate death scene of the Romanov family. It makes Meredith realize staying in a loveless marriage, taking all that crap from a man who doesn’t respect her or love her back in the same way isn’t worth it. Life’s too short and it’s time to live again.

(… we learn Dmitri is not such a good guy after all. He likes to get drunk with his friends and carouse. He shares Olga’s love letters to him with his friends who make fun of them—and of Olga.)

TURNING POINT HUGE FAILURE, MAJOR SHIFT

Meredith asks Jerome for a divorce. But he’s not going to give one to her. He argues about their company the work he’s put in all these years to their movies, their plans, everything. He can’t lose the money.

Suddenly, Meredith thinks she’s trapped, she can’t get out.

(But before Olga can do anything about Dmitri, the family is taken hostage and in a couple of weeks’ time …)

ACT FOUR

CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT:

Her new producer, agent get her a lawyer to combat Jerome. They file for a divorce on the basis of adultery and start divvying up the company’s assets. Jerome fights it with everything he’s got. And then Alex is dragged in to testify on her mother’s behalf. Meredith says she wants nothing. She doesn’t need anything from the marriage. She just wants out. And she makes it very clear she’s had it with all the little affairs, etc. he’s had over the years, trying to cover it up, making excuses. And just plain being a miserable husband. AND she knows she’s a much better writer than he’s ever given her credit for. With all that, she forgives him because that’s just the way he’s been and always will be and she needs to move on without all his baggage weighing her down. She’s wasted enough time on a loveless, unfulfilling marriage—and a loser.

(… the Romanovs are executed by their Bolshevik kidnappers. Lenin takes over. The Russian Revolution plays out ….)

RESOLUTION:

Meredith finishes her work on the script. The producer finishes shooting it. The film LOST IN A MOMENT OF TIME gets nominated for best screenplay. Meredith wins.

(DENOUEMENT)

Jerome is jealous—and left behind. Meredith, now in a very different place with her feelings about herself and her abilities, gets a visitor from the actor who played Nicholas II in the movie. He’s come to thank her for the script that gave him his Oscar win. He asks her out on a first date. She accepts.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE TWO LESSON FIVE

FRAN’S 4-ACT TRANSFORMATIONAL STRUCTURE

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

WHAT I LEARNED:

TITLE: WINTER’S LOST LOVE/ I also like LOST IN A MOMENT OF TIME I’m keeping both, deciding later

CONCEPT: DRAMA: The discovery of an old diary written by a friend of Czar Nicholas II’s daughter turns the doomed princess’s little known, tragic love story into a blockbuster Hollywood movie and an Oscar for its discoverer and screenwriter.

CHARACTER STRUCTURE: DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

MAIN CONFLICT:

Struggling to maintain her career as a screenwriter while working to save her failing marriage with a philandering, egotistical director/producer, Meredith discovers her own worth as a writer—and human being—apart from her marriage and unequal partnership with her husband through a little-known story she discovers about the doomed Grand Duchess of Imperial Russia, her loves and the struggles she endured before her untimely death.

OLD WAYS:

Meredith has accepted her “role” in life: wife, mother, taking the backseat to her husband’s career, wants and needs. She doesn’t give herself much credit for being a great, competent writer. Doesn’t think for herself in that way. She turns a blind eye to her husband’s infidelities.

NEW WAYS:

She no longer believes her writing is mediocre when she wins an Oscar for her script. She divorces her husband for adultery. She forms a new partnership that is beneficial to her career. She tells her daughter not to allow the man in her life to dominate her wants and needs and put his career ahead of hers to the detriment of her career, self-esteem and well-being. She loves what she does. She teaches her daughter to work at what she loves DESPITE BEING TOLD she can’t do it because SHE CAN! She finds a new love in her life, one that is beneficial and supports her career as a screenwriter.

ACT ONE:

OPENING: Christmas time. Taking a break from a shoot to do some shopping for their daughter Alex’s Christmas Eve birthday, Meredith and Jerome Kerns are in a gift/pawn shop in Moscow looking around to find the perfect gift. Jerome finds a strand of pearls that is alleged to have been owned by the Grand Duchess Olga. Very expensive. Meredith objects. Too much of an extravagant gift for Alex. Jerome says nonsense. Nothing is too extravagant for HIS daughter. He proceeds to buy the necklace, among other things, as Meredith quietly retreats to a shelf of old books in the store. She browses them, takes one down. It’s an old diary written by a Valentina. She opens it, begins reading. It’s in Russian, but she can read some Russian. A passage strikes her as very interesting. She asks the clerk how much for the diary. Jerome objects. Too frivolous a buy. Besides, they have all the things they need. He’s ready to leave. Meredith buys the book on the QT and slips it in her purse without Jerome’s knowledge.

(We are introduced to Olga’s story here, her first crush, Pavel, and her debutante ball)

INCITING INCIDENT: Next day on the set, Meredith and Jerome have creative differences over the scene they are about to shoot that turns into a heated argument. Jerome WILL HAVE HIS WAY when he objects to Meredith’s reasoning for writing the scene the way she did. He shuts down production for the day and tells her to rewrite the scene the way he wants it written.

Another night alone, she begins reading the diary, the story of Olga’s first love …

when she gets a call from her agent. There’s a producer looking for an experienced writer to write a new script on the fate of Czar Nicholas’s family during the Russian Revolution. Are you game??? Meredith tells her she will think about it. Right now, they’re in the middle of shooting. They won’t be back in the states for a few days yet.

Next day, Meredith and Jerome have another blowout. Jerome, this time, threatens to hire another writer and walks out asking for a phone number. Meredith goes back to their apartment and calls her agent. She tells her YES. She would love to write the script for that producer and begins making plans to return home.

TURNING POINT: She has a meeting with her agent and tells her about the story she’s been reading. The agent falls in love with the story idea and tells Meredith she will set up the meeting with the producer. She tells her to go home and start working on a treatment for her story to pitch. In the meantime, Jerome has another meeting of his own–with his leading star.

(We are introduced to the man Olga is in love with and slated to marry as the Grand Duchess, her cousin Dmitri, who becomes involved with the murder of Rasputin and gets banished from the kingdom and Olga’s life forever.)

ACT II:

NEW PLAN: Meredith talks to her daughter, who happens to know about her father’s many affairs with his leading ladies. Meredith seems to think that if she takes a break from their partnership, Jerome will come back to her. He needs a break as much as she needs one from him. Alex is not so sure.

PLAN IN ACTION: They celebrate Christmas and Alex’s birthday as a family. Meredith tries to tell Jerome and Alex of her good news. She tries to tell Jerome maybe it’s a good thing. They need a break from each other and he can hire his writer to finish the script and whatever shots he needs to finish. She’ll step back. His calls are the best idea all the way around. But Jerome isn’t happy about any of it. He calls her a quitter, a loser. She can’t do anything right and she’ll fail at this job, too, like all the other ones she’s done for their company. Meredith has a spiritual breakdown from the put downs.

(We are introduced to World War I and the Russian Revolution. The czar’s family must go into exile for a little while. They end up at a military hospital with Czarina Alexandra and her oldest daughter become nurses there. Her she meets Valentina.)

MIDPOINT TURNING POINT: Meredith has her meeting with the new producer. She’s not so sure she can do the job anymore, but the producer assures her she can. He loves the treatment and he can’t wait to get started on the project. He just needs a few changes. She objects. But the producer assures her it won’t be detrimental to the work she’s already done. He just needs a few changes for the budget and filming of the movie. She agrees to continue. And they get started on the work needed to be done.

(We continue with the story of Olga and her inabilities to cope with the nursing life well. There is a battle where many soldiers are wounded. She must care for some of them. One of them. His name is also Dmitri. Olga after caring for him falls in love with him.)

ACT THREE:

RETHINK EVERYTHING:

Working with the producer and rereading, reworking her story about Olga—and a heart-to-heart talk with her daughter about Jerome’s infidelities– suddenly transforms Meredith’s way of thinking about her situation, her marriage and how she’s been handling it. She begins to think, it’s not her who’s destroying her marriage. It’s Jerome, his bullying and the affairs he’s having with his leading ladies. Alex tells her mother she has seen how her fathers’ been treating her. She’s unhappy about it, too. She tells her mother she has her own life to live. Don’t stay with daddy on account of me. She’s a very special mom and good writer. She’s seen her stuff. She loves it. It’s time now to find someone new to love and be supported of her work. It gets Meredith to thinking about her life, her role as a mother a wife—and a writer.

(We get to learn about Olga’s new love and their love story. She writes him long and tender love letters. And then …)

NEW PLAN:

She gets to the point of Olga’s dilemma of loving a man who’s no good and disrespectful and then comes the kidnapping and ultimate death scene of the Romanov family. It makes Meredith realize staying in a loveless marriage, taking all that crap from a man who doesn’t respect her or love her back in the same way isn’t worth it. Life’s too short and it’s time to live again.

(… we learn Dmitri is not such a good guy after all. He likes to get drunk with his friends and carouse. He shares Olga’s love letters to him with his friends who make fun of them.)

TURNING POINT HUGE FAILURE, MAJOR SHIFT

Meredith asks Jerome for a divorce. But he’s not going to give one to her. He argues about their company the work he’s put in all these years to their movies, their plans, everything. He can’t lose the money.

Suddenly, Meredith thinks she’s trapped, she can’t get out.

(But before Olga can do anything about Dmitri, the family is taken hostage and in a couple of weeks’ time ….

ACT FOUR

CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT:

Her new producer, agent get her a lawyer to combat Jerome. They file for a divorce on the basis of adultery and start divvying up the company’s assets. Jerome fights it with everything he’s got. And then Alex is dragged in to testify on her mother’s behalf. Meredith says she wants nothing. She doesn’t need anything from the marriage. She just wants out. And she makes it very clear she’s had it with all the little affairs, etc. he’s had over the years, trying to cover it up, making excuses. And just plain being a miserable husband. AND she knows she’s a much better writer than he’s ever given her credit for. With all that, she forgives him because that’s just the way he’s been and always will be.

(the Romanovs are executed by their Bolshevik kidnappers. Lenin takes over. The Russian Revolution plays out ….)

RESOLUTION:

Meredith finishes her work on the script. The producer finishes shooting it. The film LOST IN A MOMENT OF TIME gets nominated for best screenplay. Meredith wins.

(DENOUEMENT)

Jerome is jealous—and left behind. Meredith, now in a very different place with her feelings about herself and her abilities, gets a visitor from the actor who played Nicholas II in the movie. He’s come to thank her for the script that gave him his Oscar win. He asks her out on a first date. She accepts.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE TWO LESSON FOUR

FRAN’S SUBTEXT PLOT

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

WHAT I LEARNED: You take it step by step, let your inner writer work and let it flow. So far, this project has come really easily as I take it one day at a time, one step at a time. And I find it’s also helping me to get the most crucial part of my steamboat script together by doing this. My thinking is coming along a lot more easily on my projects doing the work this way.

For my story:

I’ve chosen the Competitive Agendas subtext plot coupled with the Superior Position

Meredith starts out in a subservient position in the story. She’s married to a very successful director/producer who uses her talent to further his own career/agenda. Jerome treats his wife’s writing success like it doesn’t matter—except when it furthers his own career goals. He neglects her and he treats her badly.

He’s jealous of her ability as a writer. So, he’s continually putting her down. He feels the competition between them when his career isn’t going in the right direction. He lies about his affairs with the starlets in his movies. He competes for their daughter’s love. And he decides to “put her in her place” by hiring another writer for the movie he’s working on, leaving her out entirely in the cold on his latest project. Meredith is far from happy, but she tries to appease him because she doesn’t want to compete with him/his career or for his love. Until she discovers what he’s done behind her back. She wakes up and decides to go out on her own—as her agent has urged her to do for quite some time. And she finds another director/producer to help her get her script made into a film. This is where the real competition begins. She finds the courage and strength to become her own woman in the story of Grand Duchess Olga, who is tragically murdered along with her family during World War I and the Russian Revolution.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE TWO LESSON THREE

FRAN’S TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

WHAT LEARNED: As I was brainstorming this all down it was becoming a “write what you know” exercise for me and it just flowed. Trust your inner self to know what to do and let your inner self come through and just do it.

MEREDITH’S TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY

ARC BEGINNING: an average screenwriter, wife, loyal to husband, wants to make him happy, turns a blind eye to his dalliances, wants to make marriage work for her daughter’s sake, puts her career on the back burner to promote her husband’s career.

ARC END: no longer allows her husband to dominate her wants and needs, he’s gone. She’s divorced him. No longer turns a blind eye to his dalliances. She becomes a great, in demand, screenwriter after her Oscar win. No longer puts her career on hold. Her only other priority is her daughter and it’s her daughter who encourages her mother to take the leap of faith and write the script—and divorce her father because of his affairs.

INTERNAL JOURNEY: doesn’t feel good about herself. She questions her abilities as a writer. She believes her career just wasn’t meant to be because she hasn’t been able to be as successful as she wanted. She believes her husband and marriage come first before her career.

EXTERNAL JOURNEY: She has a talk with her agent about the diary she’s discovered. She takes the leap of faith her agent has in her. She begins to do the research, the homework on her new script. She confronts her husband’s infidelities and divorces him on the advice of her daughter and agent. She begins to put her wants and needs first. She gets a new producer and director to work with.

OLD WAYS: has accepted her “role” in life: wife, mother, taking the backseat to her husband’s career, wants and needs. She doesn’t give herself much credit for being a great, competent writer. Doesn’t think for herself. She turns a blind eye to her husband’s infidelities.

NEW WAYS: She wins an Oscar for her script. She thanks her agent and her daughter, but not her ex-husband. She divorces her husband for adultery. Tells her daughter not to allow the man in her life to dominate her wants and needs and put his career ahead of her—to the detriment of her career and self-esteem and well-being. Loves what she does. Teaches her daughter to work at what she loves with gusto DESPITE BEING TOLD she can’t do it because SHE CAN!

Meredith gets the wake-up call when she learns how young Olga and her sisters were when they were murdered. Life was too short for them, cut short by the circumstances of the times. She never became was she was meant to be in her short life—the Grand Duchess or a Queen. Meredith learns she cannot have that happen to her—or her daughter and fights to change that because she remembers in her youth what was her first thoughts before she met Jerome. She wanted to become a great screenwriter and win an Oscar. This is what she was meant to do with her life and she’s not going to let that pass her by any longer for someone else’s dream.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE TWO LESSON TWO

FRAN’S INTENTIONAL LEAD CHARACTERS

WHAT I LEARNED:

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

MAIN STORY CHARACTERS:

CHARACTER: MEREDITH KERNS (Protagonist) is the suffering screenwriter and wife of director/producer Jerome Kerns who desperately tries to make her failing marriage and career still work.

CHARACTER: JEROME KERNS (Antagonist) is the director/producer and Meredith’s husband who cheats on her and fails to support her in her career as a screenwriter.

CHARACTER: ALEX(ANDRA) is their daughter who supports her mother, knows about her father’s affairs and tells her mother not to stay in a loveless marriage on her account.

CHARACTER: CORINNE WALTERS is Meredith’s Agent who supports her and wants her to succeed. She is in love with her new idea for a screenplay and does everything to support her in getting it done.

CHARACTER: GALEN PARTRIDGE is an actor and will be Meredith’s love interest after she leaves Jerome who supports her and believes in her script.

CHARACTER: RAVEN (dramatic triangle) hungry paramour young actress who’s one of many who threaten Meredith’s marriage.

MEREDITH’S STORY CHARACTERS

GRAND DUCHESS OLGA NIKOLAEVNA: The young princess who falls in love with the young men who surround her guarded family and is murdered by the Bolsheviks.

VANENTINA CHEBOTARYOVA: The young woman who works with Olga at the military infirmary and supports her and is the author of the diary.

CZARINA ALEXANDRA ROMANOV: She is the mother of Olga who banishes Olga’s intended after he murders Rasputin. She is murdered by the Bolsheviks.

CZAR NICHOLAS II ROMANOV: Olga’s father and czar who supports her and allows her to choose who she wants to marry instead of accepting a chosen intended.

PIERRE GILLIARD: is Olga’s tutor and first confidante.

PAVEL VARONOV: is Olga’s first crush who is beneath her station and, thus, must spurn her. He marries one of the court’s ladies in waiting.

DMITRI (I) PAVLOVICH: is the young prince and cousin of Olga who she is madly in love with and is banished from the court after conspiring to kill Rasputin.

DMITRI (II) CHAKH-BOGOV: Is the young wounded soldier Olga cares for at the military infirmary and falls in love with and is not the so nice young man she believed he was when he was injured.

Tatiana, Maria and Anastasia, Olga’s sisters.

Alexei Olga’s brother and heir apparent.

[Frances Emerson]

POWER PLAYERS LESSON TWELVE

FRAN’S MARKET CAMPAIGN

WHAT I LEARNED: Just get started and TAKE THE STEPS! TAKE THE CHANCE! GO FOR IT!

MY CAMPAIGN:

I’m already trying to market to producers. I’ve gotten a list and I have a couple of people who are helping me market my script to producers.

So, I’m going to pick get a star attached. I’ve already contacted my filmmaker friend who worked with Jesse Eisenberg. I have an in and I’m hoping that I can get my three-part script to Jesse for the part of John Kay.

I also entered part one of my story in a contest hoping to pick up a star or producer to make it.

[Frances Emerson]

My SECOND DRAFT: (This is a huge story!)

John W. Cannon of the Robert E. Lee and Thomas P. Leathers of the Natchez VI, bitter rivals for years, finally agree to a grueling race up the Mississippi River from New Orleans to St. Louis, winner take all.

Charles Welbourne Knapp, just home from college, is commissioned by his father to report on the story for their paper, the Missouri Republican. Trained as a lawyer, not a reporter, Charles is reluctant to take on the story, but he finally agrees and heads to New Orleans. The first person he encounters: Frances Shackelford, who’s there on a shopping trip with her father, is in love with Charles. She decides to steal on board the Lee to woo him.

The race begins with a surprise. Out of the starting gate, Cannon pins the Natchez in in the harbor until his Lee is well on her way up the river, outsmarting Leathers–who’s known for his cheating,

Frances quickly runs into the young, very handsome, war hero—ladies’ man and fortune hunter—Albert Eberman. Frances slowly finds herself falling for the handsome cavalryman’s charms.

One hundred miles into the race, a failing boiler on the Lee puts the race in dire jeopardy. All on board could be killed if it bursts. Cannon has a decision to make: end the race—or try to go on.

Engineer John Wiest saves the race, to his great peril, repairing the leak before disaster strikes.

Before Frances knows it, Albert proposes marriage to her, making Charles feel very jealous.

Charles decides to tell Richard of the nefarious fortune hunter. Neither one a fan of the other, they decide to team up to rescue her from Albert.

The race—and its perils–are far from over, as the captains enter Devil’s Country, a long stretch of river between Cairo and St. Louis fraught with dangers even the best, most experienced steamboat and captain dread to traverse.

And then, an unseasonably thick, opaque fog settles in, making it almost impossible to see anything beyond the bow of either steamer.

The fog too thick, too dangerous to risk his newly built steamboat to the dangerous rocks hidden below the Mississippi waters, Leathers finally gives in and ties up the Natchez to wait it out until morning.

But Cannon’s men refuse to give up. Enoch King, the pilot hired to get them through Devil’s Country, asks for the “best eyes” on board to help navigate the Lee through the thick fog. Charles volunteers to head the little boat that will course the Lee’s way through to Grand Tower.

Just before dawn, as they reach Grand Tower, the fog suddenly, miraculously dissipates long enough to clear a straight pathway to St. Louis. Cannon takes full advantage and it’s FULL STEAM AHEAD for the Robert E. Lee!

A full six hours ahead of the Natchez, the Lee makes her triumphant entry into St. Louis as STREAMS of spectators RUN to greet her. Cannons fire. Celebration fills the air. And there’s a photo finish!

Albert’s advances are thwarted, and as for Charles and Frances, watching it all on the Texas Deck as they trundle into St. Louis, there’s another proposal of marriage, this time between Charles and Frances, who discover how much they truly love each other.

[Frances Emerson]

To Julie:

I like your letter. Goods great. I love the quotes you have in it. Just one suggestion. Your good news one sentences reads a bit too long for me. Can you break it up a bit, maybe, to make it read a bit smoother. Sometimes I find the long, long sentences a bit exhausting. We don’t want to tire out that poor worker who will be reading it!😀

[Frances Emerson]

POWER PLAYERS LESSON ELEVEN

FRAN’S DRAFT ONE

WHAT I LEARNED: There’s always room for improvement.

TITLE: THE GREAT STEAMBOAT RACE BETWEEN THE NATCHEZ AND THE ROBERT E. LEE, PARTS I, II, and III

LOGLINE: Can a young, untested newspaper reporter, his heart torn by the loss of his fiancé, find love again when he’s assigned to cover the steamboat “race of the century” aboard the celebrated Robert E. Lee?

GENRE: DRAMA, HISTORICAL FICTION

PART ONE

The “race of the century” filled headlines and newspaper pages across America in 1870.

Two steamboat captains, bitter rivals for years, had finally agreed to a grueling 1200 mile race up the Mississippi River from New Orleans to St. Louis, winner take all.

Charles Knapp, just home from college, is commissioned by his father to report on the story for their paper, the Missouri Republican. Trained as a lawyer, not a reporter, Charles is reluctant to take on the story. But his father assures him he’ll do well.

But there’s another problem. Charles is still grieving over the loss of his beloved fiancé, Abigail.

He finally agrees and heads to New Orleans. The first person he encounters: Abigail’s cousin, Frances Shackelford, who’s there on a shopping trip with her father. Frances has been determined to win Charles’ love for herself since Abigail’s death. Seeing a chance to woo him, she decides to steal away on board the Robert E. Lee.

The two captains, in the meantime, are busily preparing for their race. Thomas Leathers is a cantankerous old soul, with a heart of gold and is loved by almost everyone. John Cannon tries to act the hard ass, but he’s more than respected by his crew and the people who know him best. He’s a father figure to them and known far and wide as an honest businessman.

For days, thousands have gathered in hopes of getting just a glimpse of the racers. The Lee is several years old and many believe outmatched by Leathers’ newest, state of the art Natchez VI. But many bet on the Lee. The Natchez is top heavy and yaws in the waters, which makes for a poor racing vessel, it’s reported.

The race begins with a surprise. Out of the starting gate, Cannon pins the Natchez in the harbor until his Lee is well on her way up the river, outsmarting Leathers, who’s known for his cheating,

Frances, quickly found out, encounters the “wrath of Cannon.” Charles, who tries to help her, finds himself charged with keeping an eye on her until their “stop” at Natchez City. Thinking she’s won a first date with her eligible young bachelor, Frances sets about preparing, when she accidentally runs into a young, very handsome, war hero—ladies’ man and fortune hunter—Albert Eberman, who’s all too eager to oblige her. Slowly, he wedges himself between Charles and Frances. Frances finds herself falling for the handsome cavalryman’s charms.

Not 100 miles into the race, discovery of a failing boiler on the Lee puts the race in great jeopardy. All on board could be killed if it bursts. Cannon must decide to end the race before it does—or go on.

PART TWO

Luckily, Cannon has engineer John Wiest on board, who saves the race, to his great peril, repairing the leak before disaster strikes.

Before Frances knows it, Albert is wining and dining her. Charles quickly finds himself becoming a fifth wheel in the triangle—and caring for Frances very much.

Needing to get off the Lee for some newspaper business at Memphis, Charles watches Albert proposing marriage from the shoreline below and finding himself quite jealous over Albert’s intentions toward Frances.

PART THREE

On a train headed for Cairo, Charles encounters Richard Shackelford, Frances’ father. Neither a big fan of the other, Charles tells Richard of the nefarious fortune hunter who’s just proposed to his daughter. They decide to team up to rescue her from Albert.

Though still loving Charles, convinced he will never love her, Frances is also convinced Albert’s proposal is sincere—until she discovers him romancing another, older, moneyed, patron on board behind her back.

John Wiest gives Frances assurance it’s not her. Albert is not the honest, respected man she presumes he is he tells her.

Missing Charles more than ever, she joins Captain Cannon, who tells her the very same about Albert and gives her much needed encouragement about Charles. In his tenderness, she finds herself finally liking and respecting Cannon very much. A 180 degree turn from their first meeting.

But the race—and its perils–are far from over, as the captains prepare to enter Devil’s Country, a long stretch of river between Cairo and St. Louis fraught with dangers even the best, most experienced steamboat and captain dread to traverse.

And then, an unseasonably thick, opaque fog settles in, making it almost impossible to see anything beyond the bow of either steamer.

The fog too thick, too dangerous to risk his newly built steamboat to the dangerous rocks hidden below the Mississippi waters, Leathers finally gives in and ties up the Natchez to wait it out until morning.

But Cannon’s men refuse to give up. Enoch King, the pilot hired to get them through Devil’s Country, asks for the “best eyes” on board to help navigate the Lee through the thick fog. Charles volunteers to head the little boat that will course the Lee’s way through to Grand Tower.

Just before dawn, they reach Grand Tower to find bonfires along the shorelines still lighting their way and the fog suddenly, miraculously dissipating long enough to clear a straight pathway along the waters to St. Louis. Cannon takes full advantage of the great fortune, and it’s FULL STEAM AHEAD for the Robert E. Lee!

A full six hours ahead of the Natchez, the Lee makes her triumphant entry into St. Louis harbors. STREAMS OF CROWDS RUN to greet the steamer. Cannons fire. There’s great celebration in the air. And a photo finish!

As for Charles and Frances, watching it all on the Texas Deck as they trundle into St. Louis, there’s another proposal of marriage, this time between Charles and Frances, who discover their love for each other is for real-and until death they did part.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE 2 LESSON ONE

FRAN’S TITLE, CONCEPT, SENTENCE STRUCTURE

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

WHAT I LEANED: I’m still in limbo on a lot of things here. But I’m plugging through and continuing on the path to get my scripts finished and out. I know I can do this. I’ve known this for quite awhile now. And I now have some support in my efforts. Never had that before. Plus, the fact, I do believe in myself. I never had that when I first started. But I do know now, with several pieces of writing under my belt and published, and I just got an offer to write another piece, historical piece from someone who has contact with a magazine who wants it done. I accepted. I’M ON A ROLL!

TITLE: WINTER’S LOST LOVE/ I also like LOST IN A MOMENT OF TIME I’m keeping both, deciding later

CONCEPT: DRAMA: The discovery of an old diary written by a friend of Czar Nicholas II’s daughter turns the doomed princess’s little known, tragic love story into a blockbuster Hollywood movie and an Oscar for its discoverer and screenwriter.

CHARACTER STRUCTURE: DRAMATIC TRIANGLE
(This is Hallmark material. I’m going with that in my subconscious as I write this)

[Frances Emerson]

My first posting got all messed up. I tried to shorten it up so I wouldn’t take up so much space, but it didn’t work. So here’s the replacement post. I hope this one posts without any problems.

POWER PLAYER LESSON 10

FRAN’S TARGET MARKET

WHAT I LEARNED: I did try Imdb.com. There was some stuff on there. But it was hard to find a lot when you’re not a member. I did find that Wikipedia worked very well with a list of producers for the movies. Some names even had the companies they work for which helped a lot, too. It’s just another way to find producers. It was work, but it was easy work.

TITLE: THE GREAT RACE BETWEEN THE NATCHEZ AND THE ROBERT E. LEE

LOGLINE: Can a young, untested newspaper reporter, his heart torn by the loss of his fiancé, find love again when he’s assigned to cover the steamboat “race of the century” aboard the celebrated the Robert E. Lee?

GENRE: DRAMA/HISTORICAL FICTION

MOVIES: STARS FOR LEAD ROLES:

The Imitation Game Liam Neeson Captain John Cannon

Rush Mel Gibson Captain Thomas Leathers

Captain Phillips Tom Holland Charles Welbourne Knapp

Moneyball Will Ferrell John C. Kay

Belfast Mellany Barros? Frances Shackelford

Apollo 13

In the Heart of the Sea Possible Captain Leathers

The Irishman Gerard Butler

On the Basis of Sex

Wild

Catch Me If You Can

Seabiscuit

Hidden Figures

Lincoln

Schindler’s List

Selma

Braveheart

Titanic

12 Years a Slave

The Queen

Lawrence of Arabia

1917

STARS FOR LEAD ROLES:

Liam Neeson Captain John Cannon

Mel Gibson Captain Thomas Leathers

Tom Holland Charles Welbourne Knapp

Will Ferrell John C. Kay

Mellany Barros? Frances Shackelford

Other Possible Captain Leathers Gerard Butler

POSSIBLE PRODUCERS:

Nora Grossman Bristol Automotive

Jane Rosenthal Tribeca Entertainment

Ido Ostrowsky Bristol Automotive

Emma Tillinger Koskoff

Teddy Schwarzman Black Bear Pictures

Irwin Winkler

Brian Grazer Imagine Entertainment

Randall Emmett Emmett/Furta/Oasis Films

Ron Howard Imagine Entertainment

Gerald Clamales

Will Ward

Gaston Pavlovich

Joe Roth Morgan Creek Productions

Daniel Stiepleman

Paula Weinstein

Robert W. Cort

Brian Oliver New Republic Pictures

Reese Witherspoon

Andrew Eaton

Laura Dern

Eric Fellner Working Title Films

Thomas Sadoski

Michael DeLuca Newline Cinema, Dreamworks

Steven Spielberg

Rachel Horowitz

Walter F. Parker Dreamscape Immersive

Brad Pitt

Kathleen Kennedy Amblin Entertainment

Scott H. Rudin

Gary Ross

Dana Brunetti Cavalry Media

Jane Sindell

Clint Eastwood

Donna Gigliotti

Frank Marshall Amblin Entertainment

Peter Chernin

Tim Moore

Jen Topping

Allyn Stewart

Pharrell Williams

Kenneth Branaugh

Theo Melfi

Laura Berwick

Christian Colson

Becca Kovacik

Oprah Winfrey

Tamar Thomas

DeDe Gardner Plan B Entertainment

Robert DiNiro

Jeremy Kleiner

Gerald R. Molen Movie Corp

Branko Lustig

Leonardo DiCaprio

Mel Gibson

Lara Wickes Rebel Films

Karia Braun Rebel Films

Alan Ladd Jr. The Ladd Co.

Brian Davey

Marion Milne

Sam Mendes

Pippa Harris Neal Street Prods.

Jayne-Ann Tenggren

Callum McDougall

Brian Oliver New Republic Pictures

Sam Spiegal 20^th Century (deceased)

James Cameron

Jon Landau

Bill Pohland

Steve McQueen HBO Films

Arnon Milchan Regency Films

Anthony Katagas

Peyton Manning Omaha Productions

[Frances Emerson]

POWER PLAYER LESSON 10

FRAN’S TARGET MARKET

WHAT I LEARNED: I did try Imdb.com. There was some stuff on there. But it was hard to find a lot when you’re not a member. I did find that Wikipedia worked very well with a list of producers for the movies. Some names even had the companies they work for which helped a lot, too. It’s just another way to find producers. It was work, but it was easy work.

TITLE: THE GREAT RACE BETWEEN THE NATCHEZ AND THE ROBERT E. LEE

LOGLINE: Can a young, untested newspaper reporter, his heart torn by the loss of his fiancé, find love again when he’s assigned to cover the steamboat “race of the century” aboard the celebrated the Robert E. Lee?

GENRE: DRAMA/HISTORICAL FICTION

MOVIES: STARS FOR LEAD ROLES:

The Imitation Game Liam Neeson Captain John Cannon

Rush Mel Gibson Captain Thomas Leathers

Captain Phillips Tom Holland Charles Welbourne Knapp

Moneyball Will Ferrell John C. Kay

Belfast Mellany Barros? Frances Shackelford

Apollo 13

In the Heart of the Sea Other Possible Captain Leathers

The Irishman Gerard Butler

On the Basis of Sex

Wild

Catch Me If You Can

Seabiscuit

Hidden Figures

Lincoln

Schindler’s List

Selma

Braveheart

Titanic

12 Years a Slave

The Queen

Lawrence of Arabia

1917

POSSIBLE PRODUCERS:

Nora Grossman Bristol Automotive Jane Rosenthal Tribeca Entertainment

Ido Ostrowsky Bristol Automotive Emma Tillinger Koskoff

Teddy Schwarzman Black Bear Pictures Irwin Winkler

Brian Grazer Imagine Entertainment Randall Emmett Emmett/Furta/Oasis Films

Ron Howard Imagine Entertainment Gerald Clamales

Will Ward Gaston Pavlovich

Joe Roth Morgan Creek Productions Daniel Stiepleman

Paula Weinstein Robert W. Cort

Brian Oliver New Republic Pictures Reese Witherspoon

Andrew Eaton Laura Dern

Eric Fellner Working Title Films Thomas Sadoski

Michael DeLuca Newline Cinema, Dreamworks Steven Spielberg

Rachel Horowitz Walter F. Parker Dreamscape Immersive

Brad Pitt Kathleen Kennedy Amblin Entertainment

Scott H. Rudin Gary Ross

Dana Brunetti Cavalry Media Jane Sindell

Clint Eastwood Donna Gigliotti

Frank Marshall Amblin Entertainment Peter Chernin

Tim Moore Jen Topping

Allyn Stewart Pharrell Williams

Kenneth Branaugh Theo Melfi

Laura Berwick Christian Colson

Becca Kovacik Oprah Winfrey

Tamar Thomas DeDe Gardner Plan B Entertainment

Robert DiNiro Jeremy Kleiner

Gerald R. Molen Movie Corp Branko Lustig

Leonardo DiCaprio Mel Gibson

Lara Wickes Rebel Films Karia Braun Rebel Films

Alan Ladd Jr. The Ladd Co. Brian Davey

Marion Milne Sam Mendes

Pippa Harris Neal Street Prods. Jayne-Ann Tenggren

Callum McDougall Brian Oliver New Republic Pictures

Sam Spiegal 20^th Century (deceased) James Cameron

Jon Landau Bill Pohland

Steve McQueen HBO Films Arnon Milchan Regency Films

Anthony Katagas Peyton Manning Omaha Productions

[Frances Emerson]

POWER PLAYERS LESSON NINE

FRAN’S PHONE PITCH

WHAT I LEARNED: This is a huge story. I kept it as short as possible. And I went for the feels. I think I got it! At. Least, I hope I did. And as always, I went for the feels. Worked great!

1. Credibility:

Hi. My name is Frances Emerson. I’ve been studying screenwriting with ScreewritingU.com (alumna) and with UCLA Ext. online. I’m a certified NY State public school history teacher, retired. My bachelor’s degree is in history and I was trained in historical research. I’ve had several articles published in newspapers and magazines over the years.

2. Great Title:

I’m currently finishing a three-part script based on the greatest race ever to be recorded in the annals of American History—as told by one of the greatest Midwest newspaper reporters America has ever produced, Charles Welbourne Knapp: The Great Race Between the Natchez and the Robert E. Lee

3. Script synopsis:

Young Charles, untrained, untested, is sent by his father to New Orleans to report on the race for their newspaper, The Missouri Republican, between the newly built, state-of-the-art Natchez VI and the ready to be retired Robert E. Lee.

John Cannon, Captain of the Lee, vows to win at all costs against his bitter rival of many years, Captain Thomas Leathers and seize the title: King of the Mississippi River for himself.

For three and a half days, thousands upon thousands of spectators, 1200 miles up the Mississippi River, the men drive their steamers, top speed, all the way into St. Louis.

Perils strike the Lee early on, causing Cannon to almost gives up the race. While Leathers, the master of dirty tricks, vows it’s just business as usual for him. He soon learns his Natchez VI is not the match for Cannon’s Lee he thought it was—or Cannon’s own cunning.

Everyone knows how the story ends. The Lee enters St. Louis triumphant, a full six hours ahead of the Natchez. But little do they know about the near disaster Cannon faced only 100 miles into the race, the natural hazards lurking beneath the waters of the Mississippi for both steamers at almost every turn, and of a fog settling in so thick it was impossible for one steamer to continue the race until the next morning.

We know, too, very little of the man who made our Associated Press Services the powerhouse news service it is today. Only by my hard work to find him and the assurance by a family member who told me he was on one of the steamers did I learn the remarkable story of Charles Welbourne Knapp, the man who was part of the team given charge to report it.

You will hear some of Charles’ own words in the narration of his story direct from the pages of the Missouri Republican.

Oh, yes. And there’s a love story for Charles, as he heads back to St. Louis, with the woman he will one day marry on board the Lee with him.

4. Answers for Questions:

a. Budget–This is a huge story, a blockbuster. High end: 90 million plus

b. Main roles—My wish list. You really need to see the pictures of the captains and Charles to agree with my choices:

Liam Neeson for John Cannon

Meb Gibson for Thomas Leathers

Tom Holland for Charles Welbourne Knapp

c. Pages—for the three scripts they each run about 110 pages.

d. Who’s seen it—An Indie producer at Cowboy’s Sweetheart Productions, Audra Kelly, who loves it.

Noah PItifer, an upcoming Filmmaker and producer who’s been encouraging me to finish the script since he read part one. Noah just finished work on a film with Jesse Eisenberg called Manodrome.

My friend and reader, Elaine.

And I’ve submitted part one in a Script Fly contest.

e. Fit for company—for Leo DiCaprio: I love what your company has done on the presidents’ series for History Channel. For Ron Howard: your films and documentaries on American History stories are superb. I would be honored if you took this story on. Apollo 13 and In the Heart of the Sea, the story of how the novel Moby Dick came to be written, are among of my favorite films.

f. Movie ending: My story ends, of course with the triumphant entry into St. Louis by the winner: The Robert E. Lee and Captain John Cannon. There’s a huge celebration, a cameo appearance of General Robert E. Lee’s daughter, AND a proposal of marriage for Charles. Not to mention the REAL photo finish of the race!

[Frances Emerson]

POWER PLAYERS LESSON EIGHT

FRAN’S PITCH FEST PITCH

WHAT I LEARNED: You have a perfect outline here of what to do. I just followed your outline, your advice, and it WORKED OUT BEAUTIFULLY FOR MY SCRIPT AND MY PITCH!

1. Hi. My name is Frances Emerson. I’m an alumna of the ScreenwritingU.com screenwriter classes. I also have several articles published in newspapers and magazines. And I have a Bachelor’s degree in History, specializing in American History and historical research.

2. I’ve been working on a three-part series based on the true story: THE GREAT RACE BETWEEN THE NATCHEZ AND THE ROBERT E. LEE.

3. The greatest race to ever be recorded in the annals of American History, top speed of either steamer–in 1870–state of the art–seventeen miles per hour.

4. Budget range: for this blockbuster of a story, high—90 million plus?

5. On my wish list: I would love to show you the pictures of the captains, first, for you to understand my choices: Liam Neeson for Cannon, Mel Gibson for Leathers, and Tom Holland for Charles Welbourne Knapp.

6. Act (Part) One: The race begins in New Orleans before thousands of spectators. And Charles’ love story, with the object of his affection, Frances Shackelford, on board the Lee, culminating in the Lee’s fourth boiler ready to explode.

Act (Part) Two: Continues Charles’ love story with Albert, the young cavalryman who tries to steal Frances’ heart—and worming his way into her family fortune.

Act (Part) Three: brings us to the Danger Zones. The Devil’s Country. The most treacherous, dreaded part of the Mississippi River where even the most experienced pilots and captains fear to trundle, and then a fog so thick settling in nothing can be seen beyond the bow of either racer. Ending in the Lee’s triumphant entry into St. Louis’ harbors, a full six hours ahead of the Natchez,

7. a marriage proposal for Charles and Frances, and a celebration NASCAR drivers would envy today.

[Frances Emerson]

<div>POWER PLAYERS LESSON SEVEN</div>

FRAN’S QUERY LETTER (revised)

WHAT I LEARNED: I do know it’s long, but the story is written in three parts (like Lord of the Rings) and needs to be presented as one story. I did need to tighten this up and make it as exciting as it can be to read. But that’s what subsequent drafts are for. I do hope I’ve achieved that. Reading it back as a whole once I fixed and tweaked and tweaked some more, I was getting goosebumps. I went for the feels.

P. O. Box 286

Geneva, NY 14456

August 10, 2022

Production Company

Street

Town, State, zip

Dear Sir or Madam:

GENRE: Drama/ History, Historical Fiction

TITLE: THE GREAT STEAMBOAT RACE BETWEEN THE NATCHEZ AND THE ROBERT E. LEE, (a story presented in three parts)

LOGLINE: Can a young, untested newspaper reporter, his heart torn by the loss of his fiancé, find love again when he’s assigned to cover the steamboat “race of the century” aboard the celebrated Robert E. Lee?

PART ONE

It was called the “race of the century,” filling headlines and pages of newspapers across America in 1870. The Missouri Republican was no exception.

Young Charles Knapp, just home from college, is commissioned by his father to report on the story for their paper. Two steamboat captains, bitter rivals for years, had finally agreed to a grueling 1200 mile race up the Mississippi River from New Orleans to St. Louis, winner take all.

But Charles, trained as a lawyer, not a newspaper reporter, is reluctant to take on such a major story. His father assures him he’ll do well. But there’s another problem. Charles is still grieving over the loss of his beloved fiancé, Abigail.

He finally agrees and heads to New Orleans. The first thing he encounters: Abigail’s cousin, Frances Shackelford, who’s there on a shopping trip with her father. Now that he’s available to love again, Frances is determined to win Charles’ love for herself. In a moment, she decides to steal away on board the Robert E. Lee to woo him.

The two captains, in the meantime, are busily preparing for their race. Thomas Leathers is a cantankerous old soul, with a heart of gold, and is loved by almost everyone. John Cannon tries to act the hard ass, but he’s more than respected by his crew and the people who know him best. He’s a father figure to them and an honest businessman.

Thousands have gathered, for days, in hopes of getting even just a glimpse of the two racers. The Lee is several years old and many believe outmatched by Leathers’ newest, state of the art Natchez VI. But many others bet on the Lee. The Natchez is top heavy and yaws in the waters, which makes for a poor racing vessel, it is reported and experts believe.

The race begins with a surprise. Cannon outsmarts Leathers, who’s known for his cheating, when Cannon gets a leg up out of the starting gate, pinning the Natchez in the harbor until the Lee is well on her way up the river.

Frances, quickly realized as a stowaway, encounters the “wrath of Cannon,” as an unwitting Charles, trying to help her, is charged with keeping an eye on her until their “stop” at Natchez City. Thinking she’s won a first date with her eligible young bachelor, Frances sets about preparing, when she accidentally encounters the young, very handsome, war hero—ladies’ man and fortune hunter—who takes her breath away: Albert Eberman–who is all too eager to oblige her. Slowly, he wedges himself between Charles and Frances. Mesmerized by the handsome young cavalryman’s charms, Frances finds herself falling for him.

Not 100 miles into the race, discovery of a failing boiler on the Lee puts the race in great jeopardy. All on board could be killed if it bursts. Cannon is convinced he must stop the race before it does.

PART TWO

Luckily, Cannon has an engineer on board, John Wiest, a miracle worker in the engine room. Wiest saves the race, to his great peril, repairing the leak before disaster strikes.

Before Frances knows it, Albert is wining and dining her, culminating his advances in a proposal of marriage at their “stop” at Memphis.

Charles, needing to get off the Lee for some newspaper business at Memphis, quickly finds himself a fifth wheel in the triangle as he watches Albert’s proposal from the shoreline below–and finding himself quite jealous over Albert’s intentions toward Frances.

PART THREE

On a train headed for Cairo, preparing to reboard the Robert E. Lee there, Charles encounters Richard Shackelford, Frances’ father. Neither a big fan of the other, they team up to rescue Frances from Albert when Charles informs Richard of the nefarious fortune hunter who’s just proposed to his daughter.

Confused, knowing Charles has continually spurned her advances, yet, still loving him, Frances is convinced of Albert’s sincerity as a suitor and almost accepts her engagement—until she discovers Albert romancing another, older, moneyed, patron on board behind her back.

John Wiest, to the rescue again, gives Frances assurance it’s not her. It’s Albert. He’s not the honest, respected man she presumes him to be, he tells her.

Missing Charles, she joins Captain Cannon later, who tells her the very same about Albert and gives her much needed encouragement about Charles. In his tenderness, she finds herself quite liking–and respecting–Cannon very much. A 180 degree turn from their first meeting.

But the race—and its perils–are far from over, as the captains prepare to enter Devil’s Country, a long stretch of river between Cairo and St. Louis fraught with dangers even the best, most experienced steamboat pilot and captain dread to traverse.

And then, an unseasonably thick, opaque fog settles in, making it almost impossible to see anything beyond the bow of either steamer.

Leathers finally gives in, the fog too thick, too dangerous to risk his newly built steamboat to the dangerous rocks hidden beneath the Mississippi waters. He ties up the Natchez to wait it out until morning.

But Cannon’s men refuse to give up. They must beat Leathers once and for all, they tell him. Enoch King, the pilot hired to get them through Devil’s Country, asks for the “best eyes” on board to help navigate the Lee through the thick fog. Charles volunteers to head the little boat that will course the Lee’s way through to Grand Tower.

Just before dawn, they reach Grand Tower to find bonfires along the shorelines lighting their way. The fog suddenly, miraculously, begins to dissipate long enough to open a straight pathway along the waters to St. Louis. Cannon takes full advantage of the great fortune. It’s FULL STEAM AHEAD to St. Louis for the Robert E. Lee.

Finally, a full six hours ahead of the Natchez, the Lee makes a triumphant entry into St. Louis harbors. STREAMS OF CROWDS RUN to greet the steamer. Cannons fire. There’s great celebration in the air. And a photo finish!

As for Charles and Frances, finding themselves on the Texas Deck watching it all as they trundle into St. Louis, there’s another proposal of marriage, this time between Charles and Frances, who discover a new life and a love for each other-until only death they did part.

I am currently taking screenwriting classes from ScreenwritingU.com and have taken several others previously from UCLA online and Masterclass. I am a third runner-up in the Seven Rays Scene Writing Contest. And I have had several history and current event articles published in local newspapers and magazines, including an interview with Nick Sagan, science fiction writer and son of Dr. Carl Sagan.

I am a certified, public-school teacher (History) in New York State.

I would be more than happy to send you copies of my three-part series Steamboat script for your consideration.

Thank you in advance for sharing with me a moment of your precious time.

Frances Emerson

emersofe@yahoo.com

315-789-1494

P. O. Box 286

Geneva, NY 14456

[Frances Emerson]

POWER PLAYERS LESSON SIX

FRAN’S SYNOPSIS HOOKS

WHAT I LEARNED: Make sure you give them a thrills ride and plenty of goosebumps in your synopsis.

MARKETABILITY: I have most of the components in my steamboat scripts. I’ve been writing it from several resources, none of which are best sellers. Just history books and arcticles.

10 MOST INTERESTING THINGS:

Unique story, Unique heroes

Never told story

Emotional dilemma

Turning points/twists

Big surprises

Danger zones

Major Opening Scene Hook:

Reversals of Fortune

The love story—will Frances choose Albert now?

I begin with this question: Just WHO was my reluctant hero, Charles Welbourne Knapp? And why should we care about him?

This never put to film story is written in three parts: the beginning of the race, the perilous hours in between, and the grand finale and entry into St Louis.

Unique story, Unique heroes:

Everyone loves a race. This is a unique race between steamboats in 1870, with the top speed either met was 17 miles per hour.

My captains are not just salty old seamen, they are inspiring.

PART ONE

Young Charles, just home from college, is commissioned by his father to report on a major story for their paper The Missouri Republican. It’s the story of two steamboat captains, bitter rivals for years have finally agreed to a grueling race up the Mississippi from New Orleans to St. Louis, winner take all. Charles, trained as a lawyer, is reluctant to take on the story, but his father assures him he’ll do well. After all, he is expected as the eldest son to carry on the family business when his father’s gone. There’s another problem. He’s just unexpectedly lost his beloved fiancé, Abigail, and he would rather hide in the shadows to grieve.

But, reluctantly, he goes. The first thing he encounters: Abigail’s cousin, Frances Shackelford, who’s there on a shopping trip with her father. Frances has been in love with Charles since she can remember. Charles can’t even think or hope to love again right now. He doesn’t believe he even wants to. Abigail was the love of his life. But Frances, once she sees Charles, and knows he’s available to love again, is determined to win Charles for herself. She quickly plots to steal aboard the Robert E. Lee, the steamboat Charles is assigned to cover, and woo him.

The two captains, in the meantime, are busily preparing to begin the race. Leathers is a cantankerous old soul, but loved by most everyone as gruff and abrupt as he is and has a soft heart. Cannon tries to act the hard ass, but he is loved and respected by his crew and the people who know him and is a father figure to many.

In a crowd of thousands having gathered for days to even hope of getting a glimpse of the racers, the race begins with a bang—with Frances on board the Lee. Known for his cheating, Leathers is finally outsmarted by Cannon when he gets a leg up out of the starting gate, pinning the Natchez in until the Lee is well on her way up the river.

The Robert E. Lee is several years old. It is pretty much spent as a cargo carrier on the Mississippi, but Cannon knows there’s a lot of life in her yet.

But the race may be over for the steamer before she’s passed 100 miles on her journey. A faulty boiler on board is failing and is ready to burst, killing all on board. Cannon is convinced he needs to end the race before it does.

PART TWO

Luckily, Cannon has an engineer, young John Wiest, a miracle worker in the engine room, who saves the day by repairing the leak before anything goes wrong under horrific circumstances.

Frances, who was quickly realized as being a stowaway, encounters the “wrath of Cannon.” There is little they can do about it. Cannon doesn’t plan to stop anywhere along the Mississippi until they’ve reach St. Louis (although Charles and Frances don’t know that—yet). Charles is charged with keeping an eye on her until they do. Thinking she has won a first date with her eligible young bachelor, Frances sets about preparing for it when she accidentally encounters a young, very handsome, war hero—and a ladies’ man and fortune hunter—who takes her breath away, Albert Eberman, who is all too eager to help her.

In a too fast courtship, Albert manages to sweep Frances off her feet, culminating in a proposal of marriage at their “stop” at Memphis.

While Charles, needing to get off the Lee for some newspaper business at Memphis, watches from the shoreline, suddenly feeling very jealous and very much wanting Frances to be more than just a friend.

PART THREE

As Charles prepares to get back aboard the Lee at Cairo, he encounters Richard Shackelford, Frances’ father, on his train. Neither a big fan of the other, they team up to rescue Frances from Albert’s clutches when Charles tells Richard of the nefarious fortune hunter Frances has fallen for and is now engaged to.

Frances, greatly confused, knows she still loves Charles, but he has continually spurned her advances. And she almost believes her chances are gone now—until she discovers what a Lothario Albert is, catching him with another, older, moneyed, patron on board. John Wiest gives her assurance Albert is not the honest, respected man she thinks he is.

When she meets up with Captain Cannon, who virtually tells her the very same and gives her much needed encouragement about Charles, she finds herself finally liking and respecting Cannon very much.

But the race—and its perils–are far from over, as the captains prepare to enter Devil’s Country, a long stretch of river between Cairo and St. Louis fraught with danger even the best, most experienced steamboat and captain dread to traverse.

And then the danger worsens when a thick, opaque fog settles over the waters making it impossible to see anything beyond the bow of either boat.

Leathers goes as far as he can, but the fog is too thick, too dangerous to go on. He cannot sacrifice his newly built steamboat to the bottom of the Mississippi River. He ties up the Natchez to wait it out until morning.

But Cannon’s crew tells him he can and he WILL GO ON. They can do it. They must beat Leathers once and for all. They band together to get the Lee underway using the “best eyes” on board to help sail the Robert E. Lee through the thick fog, with Charles at the head of the little boat that will course their way through.

Just before dawn, as they make their way to Grand Tower to find bonfires lighting the way for them, the fog also dissipates long enough to open a straight path along the waters toward St. Louis. Cannon takes full advantage of his fortune. FULL STEAM AHEAD.

Cannon finally makes it to St. Louis a full six hours ahead of the Natchez. STREAMS OF CROWDS RUN to greet the steamer. Cannons fire. There’s great celebration in the air. A photo finish!

As well as for Charles and Frances, finding themselves on the Texas Deck watching it all as they sail into the St. Louis harbors, there is another proposal of marriage, this time between Charles and Frances, who discover a new life and a love for each other-until death they did part.

[Frances Emerson]

POWER PLAYERS LESSON FIVE

FRAN’S HIGH CONCEPT/ELEVATOR PITCH

WHAT I LEARNED: Taking a shot this is what I need to get my steamboat script to an interested producer. At least I got goosebumps when reading it back.

MY HIGH CONCEPT:

For the captains, it’s a lifelong—heated–rivalry that culminates in a dangerous three-day race (up the Mississippi River) aboard the celebrated steamboats Natchez and Robert E. Lee.

For Charles, it’s a coming-of-age story that <font color=”#ae0605″>answers</font> the burning question: can he be the successful newspaper reporter his father believes, one day, he can be for their family business?

And for the hopeless romantic, it is a love story: can Charles find true love again after the death of his beloved fiancé?

ELEVATOR PITCH

My script, based on the legendary, true story of the Great Steamboat Race Between the Natchez and the Robert E. Lee, and the budding career of one, Charles Welbourne Knapp, one of the most celebrated newspapermen in American History who tells it, is a tale of love and a lifelong rivalry, studded with characters the most bankable stars in Hollywood would kill to portray.<s></s>

[Frances Emerson]

POWER PLAYERS LESSON FOUR

FRAN’S TEN MOST INTERESTING THINGS

WHAT I LEARNED: This makes you really think about what you’ve written and ask yourself “why should anyone come to see this movie?” It’s a real eye-opener and it gets you thinking like a producer.

The ten things I came up with:

1. UNIQUE STORY: The story itself has never been done by Hollywood in my recollection or researches. Real people inhabit my story—“real captains” from the “real steamboats.” And the two lovers and villain who comes between them were also real, live historical people.

All have colorful, larger than life personalities any movie star would kill to portray.

2. UNIQUE CHARACTERS: Charles may be far from a unique hero, but he portrays the type of hero only hopeless romantics would fall in love with instantly. He goes from a mild-mannered, milk-toast, the ultimate average and average looking Joe to a super hero defending Frances from villainous Albert and aiding Cannon in his effort to save the race for the Robert E. Lee. And Albert’s too handsome, too slick an operator for his own good. A totally untrustworthy suitor. The two captains are total opposites and yet they seek the same recognition: to be the king of the Mississippi River, to be the best and the best known at what they do. Leathers is a bullheaded, blowhard with a soft heart for the underserved. And Cannon is a gruff old man who’s more than a father figure to all who serve under him and comes to be a kind of father figure for Frances, too, before the race is over.

3. TURNING POINTS: There are plenty of exciting turning points for the race enthusiast.

Dangers lurking on the Lee: a water pump pipe breaks, a boiler loses water and is ready to explode, what the captains call Devil’s Country, a dangerous stretch of the river that’s a gamble for any boat that sails through it, and the FOG.

For the Natchez: the steamboat, almost brand new, built for this race, yaws. And it has a water pump that breaks down in the middle of the race.

4. BETRAYAL?: The only one I could come up with is Charles’ betrayal of himself. His own feelings toward his dead fiancé. It’s all Charles can think about and vows he will never love again. But he finds himself during the course of the race he’s falling in love with Frances. He doesn’t want to betray the love he has for his Abigail by falling for Frances.

5. CLIFFHANGER!: Part II serves up a great cliffhanger at the end. Frances gets a proposal from Albert. Does she accept? Charles has to watch from the shorelines at Memphis—needing to leave the boat on urgent business for the paper.

6. THE BIG HOOK: We are led to ask the question in the opening scene: WHO IS CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP? And WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT HIM? We learn just who Charles is on his journey for his father’s newspaper—AND THE VERY END OF THE MOVIE! Also, the Lee in the first opening scenes of the race proper we see the Robert E. Lee looking very much like a “skeleton.”

7. THE TORTOISE AND THE HARE STORY: But slow and steady doesn’t win this race. Just steady determination to remain in the lead until the very end does.

8. SURPRISES AND DELIGHTS: There are plenty of surprises and delights as well: Fourth of July fireworks, daring stunts. Charles punches Albert’s lights out. The state of the art, newly built Natchez vs. the on its last legs Robert E. Lee. The reporter John Kay gets tossed into the drink.

The voyage on the Natchez turns into a comedy.

9. TWISTS: Frances decides to stow away on the Lee in order to be with Charles and win his heart.

Frances shows Charles and Cannon she’s not just another hairbrained debutante after all. We have Frances getting advice from Cannon about Albert after we learn when they first meet it’s not exactly friends at first sight for them. And we have a “miracle” with the breaking up of the thick as pea soup fog to help Cannon win the big race in the end.

10. IT HAS COMIC RELIEF: On the Natchez, reporter John Kay is a thorn in Leathers’ side to get his story.

[Frances Emerson]

POWER PLAYERS ASSIGNMENT THREE

FRAN’S MARKETABLE COMPONENTS

WHAT I LEARNED: I think it’s really helpful to learn and understand thoroughly what Hollywood wants and how it operates in getting the stories they turn into film. That is really important for a writer to be a successful one in Hollywood.

To the Producer:

I would have to be honest, truthful and present to him the actual stories of the two captains, as well as the stories for Frances Shackelford and Charles Knapp—and how I found them.

Marketability: It is a unique, true story of the greatest steamboat race recorded in history. I don’t know if anyone has ever presented this story or tried to make it. I do know there was a series Riverboat many years ago. And a couple of movies about steamboats. But this is nothing like those made.

Well written: I’ve taken classes to help me get better as a writer. And I believe I have gotten better.

Specific Market: I need to target those producers who are interested in history and history stories. This is a race set in 1870, a steamboat race. Steamboats races were very popular back then for spectators.

Easy to Sell: I have great, more than colorful characters who were actual people in that time. I have a great love triangle in the story as well. I’m targeting actors for this one. But I’m sure there will be some clamoring for these roles. I’m counting on some very hopeless romantics to like the story as well as race enthusiasts and history buffs. I’ve watched Hallmark movies until they’re coming out of my ears in order to get the love story right.

To the Manager:

Same thing. I need to be honest, truthful. Tell them how I came across the story and what it all entails.

Marketability: I’ve already gotten two people on board with this script. A small Indie producer who’s going to help me pitch. And a young up and coming filmmaker and producer who’s been encouraging and urging me to finish the script. To keep going. Not to stop. And not to let our discouraging environment we both come from hinder my progress. He told me this yesterday.

Selling: I’ve been taking screenwriting classes to help insure I’m learning how to write and be able to provide scripts that can and will sell. And to be able to entice producers to make them into movies.

Easy to sell to actors: I believe this one’s an easy sell to actors. My colorful captains, real men of the MIssissippi. The young lovers. I’ve been working hard to insure I get the actors I want for the parts as well.

This one is going to be hard to take a lot of criticism for the race itself. I’m working to write the history part of the story as accurately as I can and give the descriptions I need in order tell what happened to the men minute by minute. As for the love story. I would welcome any help to make it more enticing to an audience.

And I want paid writing assignments if I can get them. But I am also looking forward to finishing the scripts and stories I’ve already started. So, I hope I can give the manager interested in me both.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE ONE ASSIGNMENT TWO

FRAN’S MARKETABLE COMPONENTS

WHAT I LEARNED: You want to sell a product, you make it attractive. You make it a product they can’t live without. Entice them.

LOGLINE: Can a young, untested reporter, whose heart’s been torn by the loss of his fiancé, find true love again when he’s assigned to cover the steamboat race of the century: the race between the Natchez and the Robert E. Lee?

Though my story hits the mark with several of the 10 components of Marketability, I’ve chosen TRUE STORY and BANKABLE STARS.

1. The race is a true story. It really happened. The people were real, actual people who lived back then and experienced the race.

2. I looked for a long time for a star who could play my Charles, who really did exist and was a real newspaper reporter. (The person who married into the Knapp family told me there is a story about Charles alleging he really was on one of the steamboats, but he didn’t say which one.)

It’s been a long time writing this story and so the first young man I wanted is too old now. But I found a photo of Tom Holland that really looks to me like he’s Charles. He’s becoming a really good actor, and I think he could do justice to the man who made the Associated Press the powerhouse it is today.

As for the two, extremely colorful captains, that pretty much has been written in the stars. If I could show you the pictures of the captains I have you would understand. I want Liam Neeson to play Cannon and as for Leathers, Mel Gibson should play him—he looks like the reincarnation of the man in one of the pictures I have of the captains.

The other characters: Frances Shackelford and Albert Eberman also warrant bankable stars. These are roles made for young people eager to show off their talents.

My characters were real people and they really lived.

The captains really had a heated rivalry.

The sharp contrasts of their personalities.

There’s a great fight scene between the two captains.

The steamboats’ grandeur.

I think the photos of some of these people would really blow the minds of the producers.

A great female role for a young upcoming star.

Great male roles for young, upcoming men. But again I would sell it as a Tom Holland must play.

I have an indie producer who loves what I’ve done so far and a young up and coming filmmaker, producer who encouraged me to finish my script.

It’s a story that’s never been told and it really should be. It’s a story that everyone knows about in legend and song, but few really know what happened during the race.

I think I could sell it on the fact that this story has never been told. It’s a great vehicle for some young rising stars.

A great vehicle for Tom Holland and

A great vehicle for two veteran stars Liam Neeson and Mel Gibson. (I know he’s not a well liked person in Hollywood, but you really have to see the photos and drawings of Tom Leathers to know Mel Gibson really should play him.)

[Frances Emerson]

POWER PLAYERS ASSIGNMENT ONE

FRAN’S PROJECT AND MARKET

WHAT I LEARNED: I already took one class to help me with getting my work out into Hollywood circles. But this one said Power Players and this is what I want. Power Players. The TARGETS. I know what I need in targeting with this first assignment. It really makes sense to hone in on the people who can and will mostly likely want to do my script.

GENRE: History/historical fiction, a love story

TITLE: THE GREAT STEAMBOAT RACE BETWEEN THE NATCHEZ AND THE ROBERT E. LEE

CONCEPT: It’s about the greatest race to ever be written in the annals of American History.

It is also a story about a fledgling newspaperman who earns his right of passage into the newspaper business in telling the story.

WHAT IS MOST ATTRACTIVE ABOUT MY STORY:

The two captains’ stories and the race itself that brought millions to the Mississippi River to watch and revel in their rivalry in 1870. Millions were bet on this race.

The two lovers and how they got together on board the Robert E. Lee, when Charles was far from looking for a new love in his life.

WHAT WILL I TARGET FIRST:

Actors’ production companies.

And History Channel

Why:

Leonardo DiCaprio, Jeremy Renner and Ron Howard

All three have done outstanding jobs in producing and/or directing history/historical presentations, first, on the History Channel with (Leo) stories of the presidents, (Jeremy) the story about the Knights Templar in Knightfall (and the movie Wind River), and then (Ron) with stories like Apollo 13 and In The Heart of the Sea. (I have to say this, the diary that this script was based on was found in an historical society’s repository—in a town called Penn Yan, only 30 minutes from my home!)

This is why I’m choosing to target actors’ production companies first. I think they can really do a service to what I’ve written for the screen.

And I’m hoping I can entice Tom Holland into thinking about taking on the role of Charles Welbourne Knapp.

[Frances Emerson]

I wrote down seven things that caught my attention as I listened to the opening audios.

1. The Vision. I immediately began making a vision board for what I want to accomplish as I listened to part two and did the exercises. It’s an old trick I learned years ago. Old or not, it clarifies what I want to do and what I want to get done, with pictures. I am a visual person/learner.

2. Thinking back to one really great moment in my life to share. Last year, I had a friend who brought his telescope with him to our college reunion. He had set it up so we could all see Jupiter and its moons and Saturn. He’d forgotten a piece of equipment. Otherwise, we could have seen the Andromeda galaxy, too. What a mind-blowing experience it was, too. I highly recommend going to see the planets as some point in your life.

3. I remembered from an old writing class I took from UCLA and getting some feedback from the students taking it with me. I had a good instructor in Andrew Osborne. I had started my steamboat script in that class and from the feedback I got for my female character, they told me how much they loved, loved, LOVED her! It made me feel so good.

4. In my notes I called them the Trash Masters, and they were, too. I’ve had my fill of them. They almost destroyed me. It’s taken a very long time to get back to my writing. But I’m finally back and taking classes that are helping. I’m glad something deep inside me urged me to get back at it. This is what you want to do. Not what everyone else wants you to do. I’m finally achieving that goal!

5. I’ve had to deal with people early in my life who demanded perfection. I mean perfection! One college professor in particular demanded from all of us in his classes the ultimate. Papers needed to be PERFECT. And written at his professional level. I was years later he finally apologized to us about his obsession with perfection. He had gone to teach at another college and had many students there who did not come up to our levels and had miserably failed his demand for perfection he had perpetrated on us. What a relief to know it wasn’t us after all.

6. As a teacher and substitute I often tell the kids when they have a hard task or struggle ahead of them (AP exams, the World History one comes to mind. Many of them were Sophomores.) I tell them before they begin say out loud, “I can do this!” They do. It calms them down, along with the chocolate I provide for them for each test. And it usually works.

7. Story Hook. I am presently in contact with an Indie producer who’s been giving me feedback on my steamboat script. The one thing she said was he needed a great hook to get her into the story. When I heard that I immediately knew the scene I had to include and went right off to get it done!

8. I very much liked the feedback section in general. It gives me hope I won’t ever have to deal with the TRASH MASTERS ever again as I continue to write.

[Frances Emerson]

Hello. My name is Frances Emerson. I’m not sure if I’m related to Ralph Waldo Emerson, we haven’t done a real DNA match yet. But my grandpa Charlie sure did look like him (except for his bald head) and I swear in my younger days’ photo I look just like his picture I found on the internet, a picture that was painted of him when he was 17 years old. So, I guess I can say in that respect, I am.

I live here in the Finger Lakes section of New York State (wine country!) on the northern tip of Seneca Lake. About 20 minutes away from my house is Seneca Falls, NY. The birthplace of the Women’s Rights movement. And then further down the road east toward Syracuse, is Auburn, NY where William Seward and Harriet Tubman made their homes. The movie Harriet shows it in its final scenes. I think the interior of the now museum. AND Barack Obama once visited this area and worked out in one of the Auburn City public athletic centers. And where Wells Fargo, the stagecoach business, began—to name one of the many businesses started there.

We’ve had movie stars come and go in this area. John Wayne for one. Paul Newnan, for two, when he raced. I have one of his Budweiser caps. Frank Capra was inspired to write It’s a Wonderful life by the main bridge in Seneca Falls. Geneva is the hometown to Lauren Holly, and Romulus, NY, down the road, is home to Christopher McDonald, who I had school lunch with many years ago when he and his brother Danny came home for a visit. I could go on.

I am a New York certified public school teacher. I’m certified in Social Studies and Mathematics 7 thru 12. But I mostly sub and have subbed for many years. And I’ve waited on tables for many years. I am also a published writer. I’ve had several articles published in local newspapers and newsletters and two magazines. One article, I’m very proud of, I interviewed Nick Sagan, Dr. Carl Sagan’s son. The other was done just a couple of years ago which took center stage in the magazine about our Finger Lakes Community College students who are learning to make wine and run vineyards and wineries. I could write another Sideways with what I have learned from doing that article! That was one of my proudest moments as a writer.

But this is not why I want to write for movies. I’ve loved movies and TV shows ever since I can remember. And I have almost always wanted to write, especially for them. I’ve had many ideas over the years. And I have tried. And as Hal said in his opening teleconference, I have gotten some very bad feedback, which I won’t go into with you. But I just want you to know. Hal’s right. Put it all aside, because what they told you isn’t relevant. And what you wrote and have written isn’t garbage. You JUST NEED the write teacher and the right course. And honestly, forget writing groups—for now, too. I can tell you openly and honestly from being a teacher and having experienced some REALLY BAD writing instructors and writing groups in my day. LET THEM ALL GO!

I already have one foot in the door! And I hope to get that door opened up even wider with thi class. I have several scripts written now or in progress. Right now I’m working on a three parter that is almost done. On part three. And I have a couple of people who really love it!

I want to do more. I think I’ve already told you enough that is unique about me. So, Here we go!

Let’s get a movie in the can!

[Frances Emerson]

I Frances Emerson agree to this agreement.

[Frances Emerson]

Hello. My name is Frances Emerson. I’m not sure if I’m related to Ralph Waldo Emerson, we haven’t done a real DNA match yet. But my grandpa Charlie sure did look like him (except for his bald head) and I swear in my younger days’ photo I look just like his picture I found on the internet, a picture that was painted of him when he was 17 years old. So, I guess I can say in that respect, I am.

I live here in the Finger Lakes section of New York State (wine country!) on the northern tip of Seneca Lake. About 20 minutes away from my house is Seneca Falls, NY. The birthplace of the Women’s Rights movement. And then further down the road east toward Syracuse, is Auburn, NY where William Seward and Harriet Tubman made their homes. The movie Harriet shows it in its final scenes. I think the interior of the now museum. AND Barack Obama once visited this area and worked out in one of the Auburn City public athletic centers. And where Wells Fargo, the stagecoach business, began—to name one of the many businesses started there.

We’ve had movie stars come and go in this area. John Wayne for one. Paul Newnan, for two, when he raced. I have one of his Budweiser caps. Frank Capra was inspired to write It’s a Wonderful life by the main bridge in Seneca Falls. Geneva is the hometown to Lauren Holly, and Romulus, NY, down the road, is home to Christopher McDonald, who I had school lunch with many years ago when he and his brother Danny came home for a visit. I could go on.

I am a New York certified public school teacher. I’m certified in Social Studies and Mathematics 7 thru 12. But I mostly sub and have subbed for many years. And I’ve waited on tables for many years. I am also a published writer. I’ve had several articles published in local newspapers and newsletters and two magazines. One article, I’m very proud of, I interviewed Nick Sagan, Dr. Carl Sagan’s son. The other was done just a couple of years ago which took center stage in the magazine about our Finger Lakes Community College students who are learning to make wine and run vineyards and wineries. I could write another Sideways with what I have learned from doing that article! That was one of my proudest moments as a writer.

But this is not why I want to write for movies. I’ve loved movies and TV shows ever since I can remember. And I have almost always wanted to write, especially for them. I’ve had many ideas over the years. And I have tried. And as Hal said in his opening teleconference, I have gotten some very bad feedback, which I won’t go into with you. But I just want you to know. Hal’s right. Put it all aside, because what they told you isn’t relevant. And what you wrote and have written isn’t garbage. You JUST NEED the write teacher and the right course. And honestly, forget writing groups—for now, too. I can tell you openly and honestly from being a teacher and having experienced some REALLY BAD writing instructors and writing groups in my day. LET THEM ALL GO!

[Frances Emerson]

PAID ASSIGNMENTS ASSIGNMENT #12

FRAN’S MARKETING PLAN

WHAT I LEARNED: Just hang in there and do the steps and continue to shape and mold your best writing sample you have to how them.

2.

a. Change my LinkedIn profile resume (post my new resume I wrote from my last class).

b. Search for producers who are expert in making history/historical fiction pieces and follow them on twitter, link up with them on LinkedIn and send them queries. Add Stage 32 to the search and follow.

c. Continue with Inktip. It’s sending me lists of producers who are looking for different genres of scripts. And also continue with my search on ISA and Screenwriting U.

I was able to secure a link on linkedIn with Alex Wood. And so, I will use his name to fill out my letter to him.

1, My email query letter:

Subject line: About your movie experience filming history/historical speculation pieces for television and the big screen

Dear Alex Wood:

I was searching for producers who specialize in history/historic fiction drama. Your name came up.

I’m contacting you to let you know that I’m willing and available to do writing assignments, if asked. Rewriting a screenplay, adapting a book, writing a screenplay from an idea you might have.

I would be most happy to send you a sample of my writing so you can judge the quality of my work for yourself.

I am a graduate of the Pro Series screenwriting series with Hal Croasmun and have taken several other screenplay writing classes from Hal. I have also taken other screenwriting courses online, including a couple of Masterclass courses and several feature screenplay and sitcom script writing classes from the UCLA extension online service. I am a third runner up in the Seven Rays scene writing contest several years ago.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help further your goals in the future.

Thank you for your time.

Frances Emerson

Alex’s Profile

linkedin.com/in/alex-wood-641480160

Email

alexander14wood@gmail.com

[Frances Emerson]

PAID ASSIGNENTS ASSIGNMENT # 11

FRAN’S PLAN FOR INCREASING PERCEIVED VALUE

WHAT I LEARNED: I’ve got a lot of work to do yet to get to where I’ll be noticed.

1. My Specialty is History/Historical Fiction/Drama

I feel this is my best vehicle because history was my major in college, I have a teaching license in history and I have trained experience as a researcher. I believe because of my love and knowledge of history and my ability to research lesser-known stories to their end I will be a valuable asset to any producer as either a writer or researcher on a history/historical fiction project.

2. When I did my LinkedIn search eight came up:
Alex Wood, Asst. to Executive Producer at Netflix

Terry Nardone, Producer at Mango Moo Studios

R. J. Santillo, Producer at ESPN

Saliyl Dotson, Freelance Producer at Wieden and Kennedy

Ketura Kestin, Film Producer

Sabrina Cooper, Producer at Black Castle Productions

Kelly Sullilvan, Field Producer between two continents

Michelle Sheda, Producer at Sheda Entertainment was past producer, asst. producer at Lionsgate

I had two others on the list, they were producers, but they had nothing to do with films and the film industry.

3. For Today, I followed the Producers Guild of America, I followed Mango Moon, and checked out a few productions companies while I was on my work computer.

For the next 30 days: I plan on checking out more and finding out what companies to contact and/or follow that would be to my best advantage of getting a writing assignment. And continuing to check out companies as I learn about them.

For the next 6 months: begin writing query letters to each one, and checking out the possibilities that are offered through websites like Inktip and ISA, etc.

I’m also hoping one day to work with people like Ron Howard and Ken Burns, so I’m going to do everything I can to make that happen.

[Frances Emerson]

PAID ASSIGNMENTS ASSIGNMENT #10

FRAN IS A NOTETAKING PROFESSIONAL

WHAT I LEARNED: At first, I thought it would be difficult to change the sex for this one from my original screenplay. But it wasn’t. The idea readily popped into my head, and I began brainstorming the idea, which means I could be able to do this for a producer, who’s willing to put up with my silly ideas and suggestions without too many tears as well.

WORKING TITLE: QUEEN OF THE GALAXY

GENRE: SCIENCE FICTION/FANTASY

(OLD LOGLINE: An innocent, young princess is raped by her power-mad uncle, sending her on a journey of love, war, and conquest—and the founding of the greatest empire the world has ever known.)

NEW LOGLINE: A young, handsome, unsuspecting prince of a peace abiding planet, is kidnapped and held prisoner by a power-mad queen who hates men and intends to rule over them, and her galaxy, with an iron fist, forcing the young prince to choose between–rule at her side—as her consort–or die.

**My story is based on historical facts. So, it would be impossible to change much of anything for the producer. However, if he were conducive to not doing my historical script, but doing another movie that would be more to his style, I would suggest something like this for the producer to make:

BUDGET: $50 million, maybe I can do it for even less.

Setting is a distant planet, (planets) in a galaxy far, far away.

I intend to have outdoor gardens for scenes, and indoor scenes built like the old Star Trek Original Series sets were, on a shoestring.

Using CGI for special effects.

I would be blowing up planets. Have space battles, hard fight scenes to double the action.

Finding actors for the parts who do not command the large, budget busting salaries (like Robert Downey Jr. does), newcomers

For the Sci-Fi enthusiasts, specialized audience, try to keep it PG-13 for the younger audiences who may wish to see it (Star Wars). The battle scenes would make it PG-13.

Bring in an interesting, engaging outside party to join in the fight (for a subplot perhaps.)

The Lead character is now male about 25 – 30. The Antagonist a female, older 40-ish.

In order to present the treatment, I would use the 8 Sequences approach.

Great job, Pat. I followed your example and just posted this (not the actual treatment.)

[Frances Emerson]

PAID ASSIGNMENTS ASSIGNMENT #9

FRAN’S DECREASED BUDGET

WHAT I LEARNED: I already knew because this is a history story that the budget would be high. I want the history to be accurate, but in cutting the budget I know the huge crowd scenes can be cgi-ed and a number of people can be used for the several other scenes, so they can be doubled up in many areas. Also, in thinking about this, the story takes place in 1870, so there’s no high-modern equipment to crash. But there are a number of scenes that will require stunt work. A fight scene, a walking the plank, a jumping the docks, the boiler scene will be dangerous. The actual maneuvering of vessels on the Mississippi as they did back then. All will have to be considered carefully. So, as I write this out, my major concern is in the artwork of the entire series. That means costuming, the painting of Lee and the statue of Pushmataha that might have to be recreated if it can’t be borrowed. The boats themselves. So, I have been thinking about this very carefully already as I’ve been writing this script. Also, the many people I need to tell the story. Many of them are cameos, and we can get lesser actors for those—unless I write it so well, the big actors will be clamoring to be in it like DON’T LOOK UP and will work for a lot less just to be in it! My big hope is that I can convinced Liam Neeson to play John Cannon. He would be my dream wish come true. And Tom Holland for Charles and Timothy Chalomet for Albert. That would be a dream come true, too!

Number of Locations: I am only trying to put into my script the most important stops on the MIssissippi that tell the story. And then most of my scenes once I get into the story are on the steamboats.

Explosions and firearms: I have two cannons to be fired. The rest is pyrotechnics, no firearms. No explosions. Only one near explosion that will need to be monitored. That is the boiler scene. Also, the furnaces and boilers used on the steamboats. I also need fireworks for one stop and a series of bonfires along the Mississippi. That is about it for this category.

Characters: A large population is needed to tell the story. Again, use lesser actors to tell the stories, and many of them are cameos at best. Five big stars is probably all I will need for the major characters. Although Will Ferrell keeps popping up in my head for John Kay.

Special effects: Just racing on the Mississippi. Much could be done with CGI. And, of course, the fireworks could also be CGI-ed if necessary.

Number of pages: I have 107 for my part one. If I stay on this number for parts 2 and 3, I will be able to keep the pages to a minimum in order to tell the story.

Crowd scenes: Real huge crowds are at New Orleans. They were huge according to sources. That could be CGI-ed as well. As for the number of real people, they can be used over and over in other places where I need crowds to greet the steamboats.

Stunts, Chase scenes, Fight scenes: This race is one big chase scene. I have one fight scene in the script. And I have people walking the planks between boats, one jumping the docks, one using an axe, and steamboats running in tandem to perform what the real boats and captains did in the race.

Special sets. Just the steamboats—have to be built to historical specifications.

Music: For the special song. I was given a song to use by the writer. He’s now deceased, but I kept the email that has his permission in it. He wanted me to have it for my script. The rest, can be cut to a minimum using the old music from the 1800’s.

As for the brands, etc. I did the research myself. My story is using the bulk of the newspaper story, in which the newspaper now no longer exists. Back then copyrights didn’t cover material as they do today. But it doesn’t matter for the race story. I got my material from several sources available. PLUS, I did my homework on the major characters. I got permission from one of the Knapp descendant’s husbands to use Charles and Frances as my major characters once I discovered from Mr. Mount Charles might actually have been on the boat as an actual reporter for the Missouri Republican, his father and uncle were the actual owners. As for Albert, he was actually a passenger on board the Lee. AND his family actually WERE actual shipbuilders. His big brother a steamboat captain. And he was a war hero from the Civil War. Multiple sources. (I also tried writing the writer of one of the major sources to ask his permission, but he never wrote back. A second wouldn’t cooperate. But his material is faulty in some areas, and I think exaggerated on his part, so I try to avoid his work where possible. So, I have carefully documented each of my sources within my work, like a research paper.)

Kids: one small kid, on screen for about 3-5 minutes tops. A couple of newsies, 5 -10 on screen for both tops. Kids in the crowds, not necessary to tell the story, but could use a few for a day shot on New Orleans scene. Not needed for very long.

No animals.

Weather is a perfect three days of summer. Only at night, there is a scene where there is a dense fog on the Mississippi (THEE major factor in the race).

Water: the race takes place on the Mississippi.

Night scenes: I have to have several night scenes. A couple are on the boats. The others are along the Mississippi.

No modern vehicles for crashes. Trains (of that era), though, are needed for a few scenes. No crashes.

No extensive make-up, but I do need several gowns designed. The crowds were dressed in their “Sunday best.” That means gowns! And a tuxedo or two. A brilliant white one for John Kay.

No Archival footage

The only scene that could cause some concern is the boiler scene. That will have to be carefully thought out/planned. The rest, the race between the steamboats is all mathematical precision stunt work. Vin Diesel type stunt work, but for the steamboats. Maybe I can get his team!

I can’t really let go of anything in the script. I need to show what really happened during the race. The only one I can think I can lessen with any success is the “stop at Memphis” Where there’s a ton of fireworks set off. We can carefully, budget that one down to as bare minimum as possible.

Also, thinking about the gowns and tuxedos. Maybe for the scenes where I need many gowns, I can rent them from other studios for a lower price than having them designed and made for the movie—except for the major character, Frances. Two Genevieve and Robert E. Lee’s daughter’s cameos, one for Abigail. I need two uniforms forThomas Leathers, one as described in the resource materials, one in Confederate gray. But, as for getting rid of a scene, there’s really no scene I can get rid of. I need to have each and every one that will tell the story of what happened in the race. All the scenes will have to be carefully planned and budgeted out from the beginning.

The dramatic goal in this scene is that Charles is making a major decision here. He needs to get off the boat to deal with a newspaper issue. And yet, he has to deal with Frances’ infatuation with Albert here, too. And Albert’s taking great advantage of that infatuation.

Taking a look at all the fireworks, pyrotechnics that are needed here for one thing. And for the boats that will be needed here for the scene. It was like the fireworks in New York City we watch every 4^th of July (the race took place around the 4^th of July.)

But each and every scene on either boat needs to be carefully thought out and budgeted to show the historical event at it happened and what we can do to make them all as simply and as inexpensively as possible. I think we will be able to do that—with the right producer(s).

[Frances Emerson]

PAID ASSIGNMENTS ASSIGNMENT #8

FRAN’S REWRITE OF PAT SHELBY’S TREATMENT

WHAT I LEARNED: You need to incorporate the essence of what the producers want with what you have discovered in your talk. Like the story Pat wrote and shared with me. I wrote this treatment out for Pat understanding her story and her need to flesh it out more. But as we talked, I discovered she may want to write this story out as an episodic story rather than one feature film. I think she liked this idea very much. I know a couple of producers we talked about sending the idea to would!

That’s what I discovered about Pat’s work, that her work might be better written as a series of episodes rather than one feature movie. The protagonist is rich in story and pathos, and I thought a series might better serve Ira’s story in the long run. I don’t know if she totally agreed, but we did discuss it in length and she seemed to be quite conducive to the idea and discussed producers for the idea. I thought we worked together very well. Even though we both knew our stories needed a whole lot more fleshing out in several spots. I think the exercise benefitted both our works very much.

As for writing the treatment, I let the brainstorming take over as I went through her paragraphs to see where that would lead.

TREATMENT

Time: 1800’s

We open on a young, African American boy, age 10, sneaking into a New York City playhouse with his brother to watch a famous English Shakespearean actor perform.

They’ve come to watch the mesmerizing acting of John Kean. IRA ALDRIDGE is spellbound as he watches in awe, mouthing the words to “Othello” along with Kean as they watch Kean in the wings together.

Ira, and his older brother, Joshua, live with their father Daniel, a farmer and minister, and their doting mother, Luranah. They are superb students. Ira excels in oratory and debate. Theater is his passion, as is his brother’s. Soon, his passion will overcome him. Ira vows he will stop at nothing to becoming a great Shakespearean actor one day.

But at age 15, Ira’s father insists he attend divinity school, to become a minister as he did. Or get a job. Acting is no way to make a living for a grown man. He wants Ira to follow in his footsteps. But Ira insists otherwise, and to prove it, he gets a job as a crew hand on a ship. The captain agrees to take good care of him, to watch over him, but when they get to North Carolina and a slave trader comes aboard their ship, the slave trader tries to bargain with the captain to buy Ira. The captain, who is a man of his word, declines and returns Ira home to New York, Ira knowing he has escaped by the skin of his teeth the chains of slavery.

Having escaped that close call, Ira vows never to set foot on a ship ever again and joins a theater group with his brother, using aliases so their father won’t find out. There, he begins his work with John Kean.

One day, a friend of Ira’s falls ill, Kean’s valet, and Ira’s asked to take his place on a trip to Europe. Kean has been keeping a close eye on Ira, noticing his acting skills, and he asks Ira (with a little help and a nudge from Ira) to become his valet. Together, they sail to Europe in order to develop Ira’s skills as an actor further, which leads to the chance for Ira to play a major Shakespearean role when Kean falls suddenly ill and cannot go on himself. Kean asks Ira to take his place on stage.

Ira captures the audience from the moment he steps on stage, but journalist and critic, GILBERT ABBOTT A-BECKETT is not so enrapt by Ira’s version of the performance. Gilbert is infuriated that a black man could think (or even believe) he could get on stage and perform Shakespeare–opposite a white woman.

This initiates a feud between Gilbert and Ira for many long years.

1825, at age 18, Ira meets and marries English white woman, MARGARET GILL, who becomes Ira’s most passionate, indispensable life partner. Together, they scheme and concoct stories to inflate their social status to attract opportunities on the stage in spite of Gilbert and his negative press. Gilbert engages other journalists to defame Ira, encourages other actors to mock him, and gets other London theater owners to cancel engagements or bar Ira from performing on their stage.

But Ira finds a way around Gilbert’s efforts to sabotage and finds theaters outside of London that will take him in and where he will find even greater success.

Hearing of the great, young black actor, theater owners around Europe invite him to come to their houses to perform. Soon, he’s playing to crowded theaters, receiving great accolades for his performances. Even greater success for Ira, to Gilbert’s great discomfort.

But trouble brews for Ira. Ira cannot be faithful to his wife. He soon finds himself in a serious lawsuit that will cause him great pain for the remainder of his life. He has impregnated the wife of a noble Englishman who sues Ira over the indiscretion. The courts eventually find for the plaintiff, but the dalliance and the lawsuit have weighed heavily on Ira and Margaret and it will, over the years, jeopardize their relationship because of Ira’s son from the liaison. Margaret is barren.

1847. Margaret, now 49 years old, is displeased Ira has brought home his bastard son, DANIEL,—for her to take care of. But, soon, she falls in love with the boy and raises him as her own.

By 1861, Ira and Margaret are able to move into an upscale London suburb, Norwood, where he purchases a home for them, Luranah Village, named in honor of his mother.

1863, Ira becomes a naturalized citizen of England.

Ira plays to kings and queens as life at home erupts when Margaret and Daniel have a falling out and Margaret banishes Daniel from their home. Ira tries to counsel Daniel by letter, but Daniel’s heart aches for the mentorship of his father. Ira, in essence, is an absentee father.

Margaret falls ill and dies. One year later, Ira marries his Swedish mistress (and au pair) AMANDA VON BRANDT. Ira and Amanda will have four children together.

As Ira receives awards and accolades from European royalty, he learns Queen Victoria has become quite a fan of his performances. Word spreads of her delight, and shortly before his death, Gilbert must concede Ira has won and writes a positive review in his paper for him.

Ira, in time, makes plans to return home, to the US, to perform for audiences there and to visit his father. He wants to perform “Othello” for them, one of his greatest roles. But before he can finalize his plans, he dies in Poland in 1867.

WE CLOSE on the image of the prestigious BLUE PLAQUE affixed to 5 Hamlet Road, Ira’s home, that was awarded to him in a ceremony honoring Ira’s talents as a Shakespearean actor.

[Frances Emerson]

PAID ASSIGNMENTS ASSIGNMENT #7

FRAN’S FANTASTIC TREATMENT

What I learned: A lot of reworking and rewriting needs to be done before you can present it to a producer for approval. And I still have a lot of fleshing out to do with the second part of the story yet.

WORKING TITLE: PRINCESS ILIA/ ROMULUS AND REMUS

GENRE: History/Historical Fiction/fantasy Drama

LOGLINE: An innocent, young princess is raped by her power-mad uncle, sending her on a journey of love, war, and conquest—and the founding of the greatest empire the world has ever known.

THE HERO’S JOURNEY

Lead Characters

ILIA, the princess of Alba Longa protagonist, beloved princess abused by her uncle, escapes and later seeks revenge

AMULIUS, Ilia’s evil uncle antagonist, a power-hungry brother of ruler Numitor, dethrones and castrates his brother, confines Ilia, and murders Numitor’s sons.

Romulus and Remus, Ilia’s long-lost twin sons with whom she is reunited.

INTEREST TECHNIQUES

Major twist, interesting setting, intrigue, character, uncomfortable moment, cliffhanger, surprise, i.e. eye candy for the women

BUDGET

$100 million

HERO’S JOURNEY

War threatens the kingdom of Alba Longa. Not by an enemy, but by a brother, jealous of his sovereign king, NUMITOR. AMULIUS, Numitor’s younger brother, has coveted his brother’s throne for years. And now he has the means and the word from the gods to strike—or so he believes.

Ilia, Numitor’s young daughter, their mother long dead, has been the mother to her youngest brother, AEGESTUS, since her passing. She loves the life of being a king’s daughter and playing surrogate mother to her youngest brother. But, that life is soon to be torn apart by war. She and Aegestus are afraid, but she tells him a story of the founding of Alba Longa to soothe him.

In order to keep his two youngest safe, Numitor commissions a caravan to spirit them out of Alba Longa. Ilia does not want to go. She argues with her brothers to stay. They say no. She and Aegestus must leave. At least one of them, the older brothers tell her, must stay alive to carry on the bloodline and retake the throne if Amulius succeeds. They take her to the awaiting caravan. Ilia wraps herself in a beautiful, embroidered cloak, a gift from her mother.

But, in defiance, Ilia returns to the battlefield to see her father one last time and to say goodbye. He begs her to leave. She goes, but the caravan is found and Ilia is taken hostage by Uncle Amulius.

Ilia returns to Amulius’s kingdom to learn her brothers are dead, her father castrated and exiled to the seven hills to live the life of a pedagogue. Placed in the hands of the Vestal Mother and charged to become a Vestal Virgin, she is forced to serve the gods for the remainder of her life, to live a life of a celibate, a life without marriage or children.

ANTHO, Amulius’s daughter from his first marriage, an avowed vestal virgin herself, is put in charge of her cousin.

Ilia vows her stay will not be long. She searches for a way to escape.

Antho finds there is little she can do to help Ilia. She tries to make Ilia’s stay as comfortable as possible and talk her out of escaping. But it is in vain. She knows her father is a monster.

Teratius, Numitor’s old and faithful servant, also placed in the hands of the Vestal Mother, stays with Ilia. In his defiance, he finds a way for her to escape. A pathway that leads to the seven hills. She can hide there.

Antho, afraid for her, tries to stop her, but she cannot. Ilia escapes.

On the way, she finds a temple/shrine dedicated to the god Mars. She prays for her father and the return of their kingdom.

MARS who’s been helping Amulius wage his war, hears Ilia. sees her and falls madly in love with her (as gods do.) He goes to her, taking with him his two companions, Sirra and Lucan. Wolves. There, in his shrine, Mars seduces Ilia, makes love to her, making her happy and thinking she is free and her father’s going to get the help he needs.

Amulius, meanwhile, angered by his new wife and her unwillingness to become pregnant, rapes her, impregnating her with their son, Celeres. Only to learn Ilia has escaped.

In his rage, Amulius sets out to find Ilia. He tortures Teratius until he tells Amulius where Ilia went. Finding Ilia in the temple., Amulius tells her she is to be punished for her disobedience. She will not be able to escape again. And to make sure of it, he brutalizes and rapes her, leaving her for dead. She is found by Teratius and Antho. She is badly hurt. They take her back to the convent. It takes Ilia a long time to recover.

Slowly, she recovers, but she cannot stop thinking about what happened to her and her family. Antho, too, grieves for Ilia, but Ilia won’t tell her what happened, although she is suspicious. She doesn’t have to wait long to find out. Ilia is pregnant—with twins. Antho believes they are her siblings.

Ilia gives birth. One son is Mars’, the second is Amulius’.

Ilia decides to escape again—with her sons. This time, Antho decides to go with her. Antho is able to escape, but Ilia is found, captured and taken back. This time, she is sentenced to death by drowning, along with her newborn sons.

Taken to the high cliffs of the Tiber River, Ilia is thrown over. Teratius is charged with taking the children to the river and drowning them as his punishment. But Teratius cannot. Instead, he wraps them in the embroidered cloak that belonged to Ilia and sends them down the river in a basket in hopes someone will rescue them.

GRACCHUS, King of the Sabines, and his nephew, TITUS, hear Ilia’s cries for help and rescue her. They take her home to recover. Gracchus recognizes her and gives her a new name, RHEA SYLVIA, to hide her from Amulius.

Mars’ she-wolf, Sirra, finds the twins in a grove of trees and takes them in to raise them.

But, it isn’t long a shepherd, FAUSTILIUS, with his son, LUCIUS, finds the boys and takes them home to raise them as his own.

We shoot forward twenty years later. The twins are grown. Ilia has married Gracchus and given birth to two more children, SABINA, a daughter, 17, and a new born son (the future king of Rome after Romulus.) She still grieves for her first born believing they are dead.

CELERES, Amulius’ son, is now, also, grown, twenty years old. He and Romulus have become good friends. They do not know they are related to each other. Celeres has fallen in love with Sabina.

Celeres covets Sabina for his wife and boasts to Romulus how exquisite the young beauty is. When he sees her, Romulus falls in love with her, too.

Celeres begs his father to help him win Sabina for himself. Amulius goes to Gracchus to bargain for her hand, demanding Sabina be turned over to marry his son or face war. But, Gracchus will not give in to Amulius’s demands. Ilia, who’s hiding in fear her uncle will recognize her, hears all of this, too. When Titus brings Sabina home, she charges Titus to take her to her grandfather, quickly, to hide her. (Sabina is betrothed to Titus.) He obeys at once. Amulius sees her as they flee and covets the young beauty for himself. Amulius gives Gracchus a deadline to hand her over.

Gracchus allows the time to expire. He will not relinquish his daughter. Amulius declares war on the Sabines. Gracchus is mortally wounded.

As Gracchus lays dying in her arms, Ilia vows she will have her revenge on her uncle. He took her two sons and Gracchus. He will not take her daughter, too.

In the meantime, a war brews among the shepherds and the cattlemen of the seven hills. Remus, a rascal, partly to blame, is taken prisoner in a squirmish and is taken to Numitor for judgment. Sabina sees him there and falls in love with him. Remus falls in love with her.

Numitor says he cannot make judgment. He must be taken to Amulius. Amulius lets Remus go, feeling a kindred spirit with the boy—somehow. Romulus comes to take him home.

And then, Remus and Romulus get word Fautilius is dying. He has been hurt in the retaliation. They go to him. He confesses he is not their real father. He tells them the story of Amulius and Numitor. They learn of their real identities and their mother and gives the boys Ilia’s cloak as proof. In anger, they go in search of their true heritage—and seeking revenge.

Remus tries to kill Amulius. He’s put in jail and sentenced to death. Sabina learns of his capture and goes to rescue him. They confess their love. She says she will do anything to save him, including marrying Celeres (or Amulius.)

Celeres learns where Sabina is to overhear the confession. She is taken as his prisoner. Celeres tells her she is to become his wife or die.

Ilia learns of Sabina’s capture and goes to rescue her—and to kill Amulius. And learns her twin sons are still alive.

Amulius manages to stop Ilia and put her in a prison to be executed. The boys find out and go to rescue her, Sabina. She tells them the story of her life. They vow to help her in her fight to kill Amulius and return their grandfather to the throne.

In their fight and in his rage, Amulius kills Sabina before Ilia’s eyes. In her rage, Ilia kills Amulius. But Celeres, in his rage, believes Remus is the one who killed his father and vows his revenge.

Romulus and Remus win the fight against Amulius and return their grandfather to the throne. They are happy and do not want the throne themselves. They wish to go to build their own city. But as Romulus makes the first furrow where the walls will be built, Celeres, in anger and revenge, breeches the “wall” and kills Remus. In retaliation, Romulus, kills Celeres.

Ilia, when she learns of her son’s death is utterly devastated.

Romulus builds his city, but he is forever unhappy and finally walks away from the throne.

Ilia, with her father, grieves for the sadness that has befallen their new kingdom, but she is strong and her young son, has been designated Romulus’ heir–the first king of Rome. A king to rule over the kingdom that has been birthed in blood and war. Ilia, in her grief and sadness, takes her place by her son’s side as regent and royal advisor.

<hr align=”left” size=”1″ width=”33%”>

[Frances Emerson]

PAID ASSIGNMENTS ASSIGNMENT #6

FRAN’S PRODUCER INTERVIEW

What I Learned: First of all, go in prepared as the writer. As the producer, just talk it out until both are satisfied they have enough. And then if you need to, set up another appointment. Working together is a great way to get something done.

My experience is that my personality, as I’ve always been with people I’m meeting for the first time, in general came out. I have a hard time talking to people on a one-to-one basis. I have a hard time talking to people at all. I know this has to be overcome if I’m going to talk to a producer and work with whoever the producer may be.

But we did have a great talk. I think we found each other’s visions and we got to know a bit of the backstory on each other’s work.

And I learned something about Black history, which was very cool. I think we can help each other get our work to a producer!

[Frances Emerson]

Thanks to all who replied.

This one is for Pat S. I like the tenseness you build in your pages. And we are birds of a feather. This is also an historical piece–which SHOULD BE TOLD! I think I need a little more Dr. King in your pages here. He was a dominating figure. He should also be in your pages. This story reminds me of a book I read long ago Children of the Crusade. That was a brutal time for them, too. Just think how brutal this time was for the black children. What you can do here in today’s movie–make the brutality even more real because you can do that.. Especially for the women and the young women and blacks. The producers, I think, will like that, too. And the stars might go for the realism of the time. This is a good strong story and it needs to be told that way. Don’t hold back. As I said, give us more Dr. King. And I think I need to see a little more nasty from that Dillard and the Matron. They read like they’re awful people. Show us just how awful they are.

[Frances Emerson]

For Benito’s I’m not a horror movie person, but you’ve got a good gator story in the making. I think, though, you need more suspense in the first 10 pages. I’m feeling it. The impending doom. Take a look and see if I’m not right. You might want to step that up.

[Frances Emerson]

I do have professional feedback coming. But is there someone in this class who would like to partner up with me? my email is emersofe@yahoo.com if there is.

[Frances Emerson]

I will need a partner for this assignment. Is there someone else who needs a partner?

[Frances Emerson]

I need a partner for Assignment 6. Is there anyone out there who would like to partner up with me?

[Frances Emerson]

PAID ASSIGMENTS ASSIGNMENT #5

FRAN’S HISTORY-HISTORICAL FICTION/DRAMA PLAN

WHAT I LEARNED: Going back to elevate, tweak this even further, I really see what perfecting it can do. My heart was feeling all the feels in these pages it needed. I know I need some feedback but as I read and tweaked these pages, I knew I had something very special here. And I needed to share it.

MY SETUP:

(I’m posting twenty pages so you can read about all of my major characters—with one exception, Weist. He appears later in the race.)

This is a true story. About the great race between the Natchez and the Robert E. Lee. A tale of epic proportions that can’t be told in only 110 pages. (This is part one of three.) I give you the first twenty pages of the screenplay so you can learn about my major characters and what sets them on their journeys.

You will be introduced to the Captains, John Cannon and Thomas Leathers and what brought their feud to a head and eventually to the race. And the two lovers, Charles Welbourne Knapp and Frances Shackelford. As well as the steamboats that fought an uphill battle to the end.

ALL real people of history. The real story of the fighting captains. But speculative on the part of Charles and Frances.

The word is that the reporters on the two boats were never known. But that’s not quite true. In the Missouri Republican’s telling of the race, we learn John Kay was the reporter on the Natchez for the paper and about his steamboat expertise. And his eventually getting sued by the crew of the Natchez for what he reported about them during the race in a court document.

(And Dacus was a very real reporter with a major interview under his belt concerning the lives of Frank and Jesse James.)

Charles, however, took a lot of digging and an eventual, yes, he was on the boat, they believe, as a reporter, by one of his living descendant’s husband. During that time, reporters weren’t given bylines like today’s reporters are. Only the typesetters knew who were the reporters and the editor.

But with the help of pages and pages of documents and digging, I learned of this wonderful young man who became an integral part of the newspaper business, and eventually of the AP services we enjoy today. He was trained as a lawyer.

The Narrative at the beginning of my story, is taken directly from the columns of the Great Race’s story in the Missouri Republican. They are great words. Words Charles believed he would not be able to write because he was “not ready.”

Later on in my story, we learn about the engineer, John Wiest, who saved the Robert E. Lee from disaster.

Yes, there are a lot of “Johns” in the story of the race. But all real people who were involved, nevertheless. Enjoy!

EXT. PORT OF NEW ORLEANS – 3:00 PM, JUNE 30, 1870

A HOT SUMMER’S AFTERNOON.

THOUSANDS GATHER. DRESSED in their SUNDAY BEST. DAREDEVILS DRAPE THE DOME of the St. CHARLES HOTEL. As others HANG from from the ROOFTOPS, IRONWORKS, RAILINGS of their homes.

HAWKERS WORK their way through the crowds SELLING their wares.

All HOPING for a glimpse of the start of the GREAT RACE.

NARRATIVE:

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

I will not stop to discuss the cause which led to this gloriously exciting and wonderful event. I will merely say that for some months now a spirit of rivalry has existed between the two captains of the boats that soon will be racing, and between the cities in which the contracts for their building were fulfilled. Everyone, it seems, has come to New Orleans today to celebrate the ‘race of the century.’

INT. NEW ALBANY GOVERNMENT OFFICES – AFTERNOON

SAMUEL MILLIGEN, mid 50’s, SHOWS OFF the elegant ELK HORNS (GOLD PLAQUE READS: THE A. L. SHOTWELL) the winner will receive to celebrating friends.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

The news spread as wildfire.

Milligen RAISES his GLASS in a TOAST.

MILLIGEN

To the captain who takes the horns!

CHEERS. They DRINK.

EXT. CITIES, TOWNS ALONG THE MISSISSIPPI – AFTERNOON

Men, women, dressed in their finest, GOSSIP, GAMBLE–REVEL in the day’s coming event.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

From New Orleans to Memphis, to Louisville, Cincinnati and St. Louis, money is passed from hand to hand, one pocket to another as freely as the water running down the stream on which the boats will be racing. Everywhere, the great race was the principal topic of conversation.

EXT. PORT OF NEW ORLEANS – AFTERNOON

Docks JAMMED with STEAMERS, PASSENGERS, anxiously awaiting to board.

A DRUNK TEETERS on the edge of a dock. He FALLS IN.

Crowd ROARS with LAUGHTER.

Suddenly, a QUICK SHOWERING OF RAIN POURS DOWN on them, ending as quickly. The crowd ROARS again with JUBILATION.

A PICAYUNE DAILY NEWSIE SNAKES his way through the crowd.

NEWSIE

ROBERT E. LEE FAVORED TO WIN! GET YOUR PAPER HERE!

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

Cannon had thrown his whole heart and soul into the race.

EXT. ALONG THE NEW ORLEANS DOCKS – AFTERNOON

DECK HANDS LOAD COAL, LUGGAGE, other items onto the steamers …

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

He took nothing on that would impede the Lee’s progress except coal, oil and hog grease.

INT. ROBERT E. LEE, BOILER ROOM

U. S. INSPECTOR WHITMORE SETS INTO PLACE A CERTIFIED GOVERNMENT SEAL ON ONE OF THE BOILERS.

EXT. ROBERT E. LEE BOILER DECK – AFTERNOON

CAPTAIN JOHN W. CANNON TAKES a ‘leisurely’ STROLL along the decks, GREETING his passengers, mostly men, two women, already on board. A strapping figure of fifty, well over six feet tall, a quiet man, genteel, mild in his manner. Striking. A giant among steamboat captains. His tuffs of black hair streaked with silver curling about his head. His sparsely filled beard bordering around his chin. His eyes of steel blue, ever vigilant, observant, determined. Cannon RULES every inch of his steamboat world.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

Everything that could be spared on the Lee was, left at the mouth of the Ohio on her trip from Louisville.

TIPPING his cap …

CANNON

Gentlemen. Enjoy your journey. Ladies.

Cannon PASSES five foot nine, black hair, black eyes, dark, extremely handsome, ALBERT G. EBERMAN (25) CARRYING A CANE to aid him in his walk, a limp from a war wound.

CANNON

Welcome aboard, Mr. Eberman. Give my regards to your brother.

ALBERT

Thank you, Captain. I will.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

Every last piece of wood, furniture that wasn’t tied or nailed down was stripped from the Lee, to her very bones.

Inspector Whitmore EMERGES from the BOILER ROOM. Cannon stops to speak with him.

WHITMORE

She’s good to go, Captain.

CANNON

Thank you, Mr. Whitmore.

WHITMORE

God speed.

Whitmore DISEMBARKS, Cannon looking after.

EXT. NATCHEZ, DOCKED IN HER MOORING – AFTERNOON

Splendidly DECORATED with GOLD LEAF CROWNS, her bright RED CHIMNEY STACKS GLIMMER beneath the sun as they BELCH OUT CLOUDS of billowy, black smoke.

THOMAS P. LEATHERS, 54, STANDS on the HURRICANE DECK OBSERVING his men below as they work, anxious for the race to begin. An imposing figure, dressed in his fanciest attire: ruffled white shirt, vest, diamond pin, a bold, black Captain’s uniform with matching gold-leafed trim and cap. Leathers’ dark, wavy, auburn hair and curled beard tell the story of his many years in service to the steamboat industry.

LEATHERS

Load everything that ya can on her, men. She can handle it and then some.

He POINTS to a deck hand.

LEATHERS

You there! See if you can buy me six hundred more boxes of coal. I don’t care what it costs.

Deck hand TAKES OFF RUNNING.

EXT. PORT OF NEW ORLEANS, TRAIN STATION – AFTERNOON

A TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS.

The IRON MOUNTAIN RAILROAD. PASSENGER CARS are STUFFED like sardine cans with exuberant ONLOOKERS WAVING hats, handkerchiefs, American flags out their windows.

SHOUTS OF JOY PIERCE THE AIR.

PUFFS OF SMOKE ROLL out of the locomotive’s chimney ready to roll.

EXT. TRAIN OUTSIDE NEW ORLEANS – AFTERNOON

A second train, crammed with as many spectators, SPEEDS along its way to New Orleans.

INT. PASSENGER CAR

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP STARES out his window. Twenty-two, dark, reddish brown hair. Clean shaven. He PULLS an antique POCKET WATCH from his vest, OPENS it, to linger over the portrait inside it for a moment. Then CLOSES it again–only to stare out the window again as the train continues on.

(The portrait is of his young, beautiful–and dead–fiance, ABIGAIL MCCULLOUGH.)

EXT. ROBERT E. LEE, PILOTHOUSE – AFTERNOON

SHIP’S CARPENTERS REMOVE a part of the SASH from the doorway.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

Even the sash around the Pilothouse door, which serves as protection against strong currents of air when under a fast run, was removed.

INT. PASSENGER CAR

Charles observes the SWARM of spectators bustling about as his train SLOWLY PULLS INTO THE NEW ORLEANS STATION.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

Whatever the result of this race, soon to be taking place, it is not an exaggeration to say it will stand unparalleled in ancient or modern times. Two magnificent machines, the pride of their respective homes, poised to race twelve hundred miles up the mightiest river of the world, the artery and lifeblood of our magnificent continent.

EXT. NATCHEZ, PILOTHOUSE – AFTERNOON

A PECULIAR-LOOKING LITTLE STATUE OF CHIEF PUSHMATAHA prominently STANDS before the Pilothouse.

Leathers, taking his last tour of inspection, PASSES CARPENTER, E. W. BAWIFE, and his ASSISTANT, PULLING OFF a piece of the FRAMEWORK around the Pilothouse doorway.

LEATHERS

I told you no, goddamn it! Not one beam’s to be removed!

BAWIFE

But, Captain Leathers, Sir. Can’t we at least remove the sash?

LEATHERS

Nothing! Not one carpenter’s nail!

Leathers STORMS OFF, heading for the stairs …

LEATHERS

I’ll not have anyone thinking this is a race!

ASSISTANT

But, they already do, Captain.

­Bawife NAILS the piece back into place shaking his head.

EXT. NATCHEZ, TEXAS DECK – AFTERNOON

Stepping onto the lower level, Leathers SPOTS a LITTLE BOY, ALONE, unattended.

LEATHERS

What are you doing up here, lad?

The boy FREEZES.

LEATHERS

Get back down below with your parents.

He MAKES A TERRIBLE FACE at the boy. Boy RUNS.

PULLING OUT an exquisite, GOLD POCKET WATCH from his vest pocket, Leathers OPENS it, SHAKES HIS HEAD, then continues down the stairs as he shoves the watch back into his vest, mumbling to himself.

LEATHERS

Passengers. They’re going to be the death of me yet before this race is over.

EXT. NEW ORLEANS PIER – AFTERNOON

Newsie pushes through the ever-growing crowds.

NEWSIE

CAPTAINS DENY RUMOR! NO RACE BETWEEN THE NATCHEZ AND ROBERT E. LEE!

Two well-dressed DANDIES approach.

DANDY #1

Boy.

They each BUY a paper.

NEWSIE

Thank you, Sirs.

As the Newsie disappears into the crowd, dandies TURN to the page and CARDS (ADS) advertising the race.

CLOSE UP on the CARDS.

DANDY #2

Business as usual, ­eh?

EXT. NEW ORLEANS TRAIN STATION/INT. PASSENGER CAR – AFTERNOON

Charles eyes the swelling crowd as his train slowly PULLS INTO the station.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

I wonder what my father must have been thinking assigning me to write this story. All I can remember of that day–my watching him hang the photograph of the ill-fated Sultana on the wall overlooking his desk.

FLASHBACK

INT. TEMPORARY OFFICES OF THE MISSOURI REPUBLICAN – DAY

CLOSE UP ON FRAMED PHOTOGRAPH of the SULTANA taken before her ill-fated explosion and fire.

Slowly recovering from a devastating fire in his offices only days before, JOHN KNAPP, 50’s gray-haired, long gray beard, cragged face, PRIVATELY CONSULTS with EDITOR-In-CHIEF, WILLIAM HYDE–also in his 50’s, rotund, balding.

Charles WAITS on an ELDERLY WOMAN at his telegraph desk. He returns a handful of change to her, politely ESCORTS her to the door.

JOHN KNAPP

CHARLIE!

EXCUSING himself, Charles quickly joins his father and William Hyde.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

And Mr. Hyde informing me of the race that had been years in the making.

SHORT TIME LAPSE.

HYDE

It’ll be great experience for you, Charlie. Your first story.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

Send Dacus. Send Waterloo. They’ll write you a much better–professional–story. I’m not ready.

JOHN KNAPP

Nonsense. I didn’t spend all that money on your education for nothing. You’re going and that’s final.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

What if I fail to give you the story you want for the Republican? Father, I don’t know the first thing about being a reporter.

JOHN KNAPP

You’ll learn. Dacus is going to be your editor and mentor. I’ve been wanting to give him a promotion for quite some time now, anyway.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

You can’t be serious.

HYDE

Charlie, my boy. Your father wants you to learn the business from the ground up. That includes how to report a news story as it happens.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

But, Mr. Hyde. I’m not ready.

HYDE

You are–ready, Charlie. Believe me. And it will do you a world of good to get your mind off Abigail’s passing for a time. I see you moping around here like a little lost puppy.

END FLASHBACK

EXT. NEW ORLEANS TRAIN STATION/INT. PASSENGER CAR – AFTERNOON

Train comes to a FULL STOP. Charles remains in his seat as the other passengers make their way to the exits first.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

And I, Charles Welbourne Knapp, certain that when this race is over, I will be returning to my duties at the Missouri Republican as a telegraph clerk and to a life of obscurity in my father’s business.

Finally, BAG IN HAND, it’s Charles’ turn to exit.

EXT. PASSENGER CAR – AFTERNOON

Dressed to the hilt, top coat, top hat, sporting a proper moustache and walking cane, JOSEPH A. DACUS, 39, WAITS for Charles at the depot. He GREETS the apprehensive young man with a hearty handshake and gargantuan smile.

DACUS

Welcome to New Orleans, Charlie. And to your first assignment as a newspaper reporter. Come. Cannon is waiting for us.

They disappear into the crowd …

EXT. TRAIN STATION DEPOT, DOORWAY – DAY

JOHN C. KAY, 31, donning an expensive, white silk suit, a matching top hat–smoking a just as expensive cheroot–STEPS OUT into the afternoon sunlight, a devilish, pearly white, grin on his face, a twinkle in his eyes, all framed by his wavy, sandy-colored hair. His well-trained eyes miss nothing.

He SCRIBBLES a few notes into his notebook, PAUSES a moment, deep in thought, then tucks his book away in an inside pocket.

EXT. ROBERT E. LEE, TEXAS DECK – AFTERNOON

As he peers out toward the open waters of the mighty Mississippi, Cannon RECALLS:

FLASHBACK

EXT. UPPER DECK OF THE GENERAL QUITMAN, FIVE YEARS EARLIER – DAY

Cannon PEERS DOWN at Thomas Leathers standing on the dock looking up at him, both men full of anger.

LEATHERS

Traitor. You cheated your own country out of your steamer to help the North. And then ya charged them exorbitant prices for the cotton you sold ’em, to boot.

CANNON

It’s called business, Thomas. Get over it. And don’t blame me you weren’t savvy enough to hide your precious Natchez from the governments. You want to captain another steamer? Go build one.

LEATHERS

By the Lord God Almighty. I would if I had a little more than a dollar to my name. The war took everything.

CANNON

So sue the government. Or haven’t you heard? There’s such a thing as salvaging rights.

LEATHERS

You’d turn your back on your own mother, if she were dying.

CANNON

You want a job on this steamer to pay for your new boat? You get down on your knees and you beg me for it first.

LEATHERS

You can go to bloody hell, that’s what you can do.

CANNON

Fine. Don’t come to work for me.

END FLASHBACK

EXT. NEW ORLEANS DOCKS – AFTERNOON

Charles, Dacus, struggling through the crowd towards the Lee …

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

I wonder if this is how Sam Clemens felt on his first story.

DACUS

I think he was off looking for gold or silver somewhere. A few butterflies?

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

I would have preferred reporting on the Natchez. I understand Leathers’ engines are state of the art.

DACUS

Your father had his reasons for putting Kay with Leathers and you with Cannon.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

All the same. He’s given me a huge responsibility writing this story. I’m still not sure I should be the one handling it.

DACUS

John Knapp’s brilliant first born? Crack law student? Afraid of a little writing assignment? It will get better, Charlie. I promise.

MRS. A. C. MCKEEN, 40-ish, her fifteen year old daughter, MAGGIE, WALK ahead of them. Maggie TURNS, FLIRTS with them, GIGGLES. Dacus politely TIPS his hat.

DACUS

Ladies.

A disapproving Mrs. McKeen HRRUMPHS, PUSHES Maggie along.

Charles keeps silent.

EXT. NATCHEZ, DOCKED IN HER MOORING – AFTERNOON

A young beauty of 18, FRANCES SHACKELFORD, STANDS on the docks with her father, RICHARD SHACKELFORD. Fifty-ish, tall, handsome, PRESIDENT and major STAKEHOLDER of the BELLAFONTAINE RAILROAD COMPANY, he wears the dignified air of well-earned wealth–with an attitude to match. ­They WAIT to board the steamer.

Frances wears the finest of traveling clothes money can buy.

A BLACK BAGGAGE HANDLER waits with them, surrounded by luggage, shopping bags, other travel items.

RICHARD

You wait here, Frances, while I go purchase our tickets.

TURNING to the Baggage Handler …

RICHARD

You. Keep an eye on her.

BAGGAGE HANDLER

Yes, Sir, Mr. Shackelford.

EXT. DOCKS NEAR ROBERT E. LEE – AFTERNOON

Dacus, Charles draw closer to the steamer.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

By the way, why isn’t Sam reporting on the story for the paper? I would have thought he’d be the perfect choice.

DACUS

His father-in-law’s ill. And I hear Olivia’s not doing well either, given her delicate condition.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

I’ll be sure to write them a letter. I have to get off at Memphis. We’ve been having some issues lately with our telegraph office there.

DACUS

You’ll be able to board again at Cairo. We’ll get you a train ticket and a ticket for the Idlewild. I hear the Old Man will be picking up some very special passengers there to help him with the last few miles into St. Louis. Cannon’s never piloted that part of the river before.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

Sounds like an excellent opportunity to catch an interview.

DACUS

Devil’s Country. Dangerous enough waters for an experienced riverboat captain to navigate. Could get mighty busy in the Lee’s Pilothouse. But, then again, you’ll be on the Idlewild with them.

EXT. NATCHEZ, MOORING DOCK – AFTERNOON

Frances’ eyes suddenly LIGHT UP WITH EXCITEMENT AND DELIGHT, seeing Charles walking her way.

FRANCES

Well, I’ll be.

She WAVES to Charles, trying to get his attention.

FRANCES

Charles! Charles Knapp!

Maggie McKeen TURNS, HEARING, SEEING FRANCES calling out. SPOTTING Dacus and Charles still struggling to get through the crowd, she GIGGLES again. Mrs. McKeen HRRUMPHS again, STEERING her daughter even closer toward the Lee’s boarding ramp.

MRS. MCKEEN

You’re too young, Maggie McKeen. For either one of them.

HEARING his name, SCANNING the crowd, Charles SPOTS Frances waving, trying to gain his attention–to his great consternation. Dacus CRACKS another wide smile, NOTICING the young beauty himself.

DACUS

Well now. Who’s that pretty young thing over there waving at you?

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

Frances Shackelford. Abigail’s cousin.

Dacus’ smile DISAPPEARS.

DACUS

Shackelford, ­eh? Is she any relation to Richard Shackelford?

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

She’s his daughter.

DACUS

Better steer clear of those dangerous waters, Charlie.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

My father would never forgive me if I even thought of courting the daughter of his worst nightmare. Shackelford still hasn’t forgiven him.

Charles RECALLS the encounter he had with Richard:

FLASHBACK

INT. GRAND BALLROOM – NIGHT, WEEKS EARLIER

Frances’ DEBUTANTE BALL. Dressed in their finest ballroom gowns, the young women ENJOY their night of partying and gaiety, REVELING in the opulence, the music, the dancing–the eligible young men.

Dressed in BLACK TIE, Charles ATTENDS to his fiance, Abigail, as they watch on the sidelines. As guests TWIRL and WHIRL across the dance floor, Abigail’s the most prim and proper of young ladies–and the happiest of fiances.

FLITTING ABOUT, FLIRTING, and quite open about her crush on Charles, Frances brazenly CRASHES in on the young couple’s alone time.

FRANCES

Oh, Charles. Please dance with me. You won’t mind, will you, Abigail? I do so love to dance.

Amused by her cousin’s boldness …

ABIGAIL

Should I be jealous, Charles? My young cousin can be very persuasive.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

I’m afraid these two left feet of mine wouldn’t serve either one of you very well on the dance floor.

A young and proper WEST POINT LIEUTENANT ATKINSON, APPEARS, INTERRUPTING …

LT. ATKINSON

Miss Shackelford. Would you do me the honor of this dance?

Promptly, firmly, taking his arm …

FRANCES

Why, Lieutenant Atkinson, Sir. I thought you’d never ask.

WHISKING her away, the young lieutenant GLIDES with her onto the dance floor in a GRAND WALTZ.

FRANCES

My friends call me Fanny, but I don’t really like that. You may call me Frances, or Frannie, if you like.

Abigail eyes Charles with amusement, making him BLUSH.

ABIGAIL

Alas. I’m afraid my poor cousin’s crush on you is quite fatal. But then, so is mine.–I see Mama’s all alone. If you will excuse me.

Charles NODS in agreement.

Abigail takes her leave. Richard approaches, expensive cigar in hand, a stern, disapproving look well-etched in his face and eyes from years of scorn for the Knapps.

RICHARD

The McCulloughs may approve of your little marriage to their daughter, Mr. Knapp. But the Shackelfords never will.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

My father has no quarrel with the McCulloughs. Only that bit of competition between our newspapers. Which will be rectified as soon as Abigail and I are married.

RICHARD

What’s it been? Five years since the war ended?–Your father still owes me that retraction.

Unhappily, Frances watches her father over the shoulder of her lieutenant as they dance.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

For reporting the truth, Sir? It was most unfortunate you were accused of treason, which was honestly reported by our paper. You were eventually exonerated of that crime. By Lincoln himself, if I recall correctly. Which we reported on honestly and fairly as well. But, I gather, that still isn’t enough for you.

RICHARD

And until I get that retraction, you will stay away from Frances and Genevieve. In fact, you will stay away from all us Shackelfords.

Richard SAUNTERS away, quite pleased with his pompous self.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

How can I, Sir, when we are about to become in-laws?

END FLASHBACK

EXT. NATCHEZ, MOORING DOCK – AFTERNOON

Frances, still trying to get Charles’ attention …

DACUS

Perhaps you and Abigail were never meant to be. Marriage and politics never do mix.

FRANCES

Charles! Charles! Over here!

DACUS

Speaking of never meant to be’s.

Charles, completely frozen in his tracks.

DACUS

Well. Don’t just stand there keeping the young lady waiting.

Dacus SEES someone in the crowd.

DACUS

I’ll be back for you in a few moments. There’s someone over there I need to speak to.

He saunters off.

‘Walking on egg shells,’ Charles makes his way toward Frances–searching for any sign of Richard in the crowd.

FRANCES

Oh, Charles. It’s so good to see you again. What are you doing here in New Orleans?

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

I’m on assignment for the paper. It’s my first, actually. Writing assignment.

FRANCES

Oh, how exciting! On the Natchez?

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

Robert E. Lee.

FRANCES

(disappointed)

Oh. Have you caught the racing fever yet? I can’t wait until five o’clock.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

I haven’t placed any bets, if that’s what you’re asking. You’re a long way from home, too.

FRANCES

Shopping. And Papa’s doing a little business here for the railroad. I’ll be going away to school in a few weeks.–Why haven’t you come to call on Mama, Genevieve, and me?

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

I’ve been busy–at the paper.

FRANCES

The fire.–Perhaps you won’t be too busy to call on us before I go. Or maybe you could even write to me at the school. I’m sure Abigail wouldn’t mind. If she were here.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

Perhaps. If I’m not too busy.

FRANCES

I know Mama and Genevieve would so love to see you again.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

It is lovely seeing you again, Frances.

Charles SEES Richard returning.

FRANCES

Will you be interviewing Captain Cannon?

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

I expect so. I really do have to go.

RICHARD

Well, well, well. Mr. Knapp.

Richard OFFERS Charles a gentleman’s handshake.

RICHARD

Pleasure seeing you again. What brings you here to New Orleans, as if I couldn’t guess?

Dacus INTERRUPTS.

DACUS

Richard Shackelford.

He SHAKES Richard’s hand.

DACUS

How’s the railroad business these days?

RICHARD

The Bellafontaine’s doing just fine, Judge. Have you met my daughter, Frances?

DACUS

A pleasure, Miss Shackelford.

RICHARD

A lot of traveling and wheeling and dealing before the harvest season.

DACUS

I hear you on that.

Dacus TURNS to Charles.

DACUS

It’s time, Charlie.

Dacus TIPS his hat to Frances.

DACUS

If you’ll excuse us, Miss. We’re on a very tight schedule.

FRANCES

Of course.

(to Charles)

Good luck with your story, Charles.

Dacus quickly WHISKS Charles away into the crowd.

DACUS

I hate people calling me Judge.

Gone from Richard’s sight …

RICHARD

I’d hoped Abigail’s death would have been the end of your little friendship with that Knapp boy, Frances. I have much bigger plans for you and your sister.

FRANCES

Papa. What did you tell Charles the night of the Cotillion?

RICHARD

It’s time to be on our way.

EXT. ROBERT E. LEE, MOORING DOCK – AFTERNOON

Dacus GIVES Charles another devilish grin.

DACUS

I’m afraid your Miss Shackelford’s been bitten quite badly, my boy.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

She’s the least of my worries. Her father despises me. I believe he would prefer if all us Knapps drowned in the Mississippi River. The sooner the better.

DACUS

Shackelford does hold quite a grudge against your father. And it looks like he can barely tolerate you. But that’s what fathers do. You can’t blame him for wanting to protect his little girl–who’s not so little anymore.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

As if he has anything to worry about with me. Abigail was the love of my life. I’m still in love with her.–There’s no room for anyone else in my heart right now.–Probably never will be.

DACUS

Tell that to the man who has two daughters, and one just recently become of marrying age.

CHARLES WELBOURNE KNAPP

Richard Shackelford. My father-in-law. Now that is a dreadful thought.

Dacus lets out a belly laugh.

DACUS

Come, my boy. You’ve got a steamer to catch.

They head onward …

EXT. THE HENRY TATE, MOORING DOCK – AFTERNOON

4:00 PM.

A GREAT BLAST FROM HER SMOKESTACKS. THE CLANGING OF HER BELLS. The Henry Tate, CRAMMED WITH SPECTATORS, slowly makes her way out of port. Followed by several more steamers, OVERFLOWING with passengers.

EXT. TRAIN STATION DEPOT – AFTERNOON

Kay STUDIES the Natchez–still harbored in her mooring–from the distance. Her bright red smokestacks with their gold leaf trimmed crowns, BELCHING OUT blasts of billowy, black SMOKE. He GRINS like a Cheshire cat.

A SPECTATOR STROLLS BY.

SPECTATOR

Good afternoon, Mr. Kay.

KAY

Afternoon, Sam. Lovely day for a race.

TAKING another long drag from his cheroot, Kay casually BLOWS OUT the smoke as he MAKES another notation into his book, GRINNING.

EXT. NEW ORLEANS DOCKS – AFTERNOON

Three more steamboats leave port for the waters: THE GREAT REPUBLIC, THE GRAND ERA, THE MARY HOUSTON.

INT. MAYFLOWER, STILL DOCKED, GRAND SALOON

RIVERBOAT GAMBLER and longtime friend of Thomas Leathers, GEORGE DEVOL, black hair, grand moustache, puffs away on an expensive STOGIE as he TAKES BETS from a long line of gamblers.

GAMBLER TULLY

Seventy-five dollars on the Lee, Mr. Devol.

DEVOL

Seventy-five will get you one hundred, Mr. Tully. But the Lee’s not going to win.

GAMBLER TULLY

You are, indeed, a loyal friend to Captain Leathers, Sir.

Tully moves on, Devol TAKES another sizable bet from the next man in line. He moves on.

DEVOL

And you, kind Sirs, are, indeed, loyal friends to my change purse.

The last man places his bet, moves on. Devol COUNTS his take, REVELING in the size of the wad.

DEVOL

It’s been a pleasure, gentlemen.

EXT. ROBERT E. LEE, MOORING DOCK – AFTERNOON

A deck hand REMOVES another piece of the wood frame from the already half-stripped WHEELHOUSE. Charles, Dacus marvel at the Lee’s nearly naked appearance, looking very much like “a giant skull and bones stripped of every inch of skin, sinew and muscle” as they continue toward the boarding plank.

[Frances Emerson]

PAID ASSIGNMENTS PAID ASSIGNMENT #4

FRAN’S KEY BUSINESS DECISIONS

WHAT I LEARNED: I’ve pretty much known I needed to tighten up/ make it a more robust love story between Charles and Frances. I added the character for it to be a love triangle to give Charles incentive to fall in love with Frances. I also know I need to learn more about budgeting and working with producers to get something on film. This is why I took this class, to learn exactly that.

(These were real people who lived in 1870. Some of their stories are better known than others. One, Dacus, a real reporter, was credited with a Frank and Jesse James interview and the book that resulted from it. Charles became a newspaper reporter, editor and owner in his own right and worked for a short time for the AP service. The two captains also existed and had a terrible feud that lasted for years. Frances married the man she loved, Charles. They had a daughter. I got permission from one of family members to do their story. It’s a lot of speculation, but when you see the photos of Charles in his later years, you can see it in his eyes, he once had loved, but lost her. Abigail is pure speculation, but Frances did come from a large, extensive—and powerful family–in St. Louis, Missouri and her father for a short time did own and operate a major railroad line there also. He was accused of treason and Lincoln did pardon him.)

GENRE: History/Speculative History

TITLE: THE GREAT STEAMBOAT RACE BETWEEN THE NATCHEZ AND THE ROBERT E. LEE

CONCEPT: A grief-stricken reporter learns to love again in the greatest story ever written in the annuls of American History: the race between the Natchez and the Robert E. Lee.

AUDIENCE: Romancers, racers, race lovers, history buffs, the over 25 crowd

BUDGET: high budget $100 million

LEAD CHARACTERS:

Charles Welbourne Knapp, Hero, Reporter on the Robert E. Lee (shooting for Tom Holland on this one.)

Frances Shackelford, Heroine, love interest for Charles and Albert

Captain Thomas Leathers, Captain of the Natchez

Captain John Cannon, Captain of the Robert E. Lee

John Kay, Reporter on the Natchez

Richard Shackelford, Frances’s father

Albert Eberman, the not so honorable suitor

The Settings, New Orleans, and other towns along the Mississippi River, 1870

St. Louis, Missouri

I definitely need to step up on the love triangle between Charles and Frances and Albert.

I also need to make sure the rivalry between the captains resonate with great clarity and definition. (I’ve already written a knock down drag out fight between them, which actually happened.)

I have actors in mind to play them I would love to see them in the roles.

THE OPENING

It’s the day of the great race. New Orleans docks, 1870. Thousands of people have gathered to see the start of the race, as others gather along the banks of the Mississippi from New Orleans to St. Louis. Around the globe people are putting money down on their favorite to win. The Natchez is favored to win.

Charles, a reporter for the Missouri Republican, is on his way to New Orleans by train to report the race for his paper on the Robert E. Lee.

THE ENDING

This is already known, so it won’t spoil anything on the race side. The Robert E. Lee is pulling into New Orleans ahead of the Natchez. Cannon wins the race. A photo of the momentous, triumphant entry is taken.

Charles finally realizes how much he loves Frances. And Albert is the loser in the suitor race.

At the end, there’s a great party/celebration held. Robert E. Lee’s daughter (cameo appearance for some lucky actress) attends.

CHARACTER ARCS/ JOURNEYS for the characters

John Kay is the reporter from the Missouri Republican who is assigned to report on the Natchez. He’s an expert in steamboat racing and steamboats. Leathers’ Natchez is brand new and the latest in high tech engines of the time. Kay is assigned to observe this fact and to see if the ship performs as Leathers brags it does. In other words, to keep Leathers an honest steamboat captain. He also takes it upon himself to be a veritable thorn in Leathers’ side for the entire race.

Richard Shackelford, Frances’s father, is head of one of the newest railroad companies in Missouri. He’s on a buying mission in New Orleans. He hates the Knapps. Charles’s father printed an unsavory story about him in the paper, so much as accusing him of treason during the war. Lincoln pardoned him. But Shackelford never forgave Knapp for printing the story NOR not retracting it. He’s hell bent on keeping Frances away from Charles at all costs because of it.

Captain Thomas Leathers, captain of the Natchez number VI, has been at odds with Captain John Cannon since they were young men, before the Civil War. Now in his later years, (around 50-60) he hates him even more because he believes John Cannon stole a lot of his business along the Mississippi and has gotten away with it for many years, cheated his way to the top, and he’s had enough of the loss and humiliation he’s suffered at Cannon’s hands because of it. Winning a race against Cannon would get that business back and make John Cannon the laughing stock of the Mississippi.

Captain John Cannon has had to suffer the slings and arrows of Thomas Leathers ever since he hired him after the war, just to give him a job to keep him afloat. And even as a young man just starting out in the business. Accused of cheating and undercutting Leathers on a regular basis. He’s had enough, too. He can still remember the knock down, drag out fight they had many years ago over business. And the horrible steamboat disaster/fire that almost put him out of business and in jail. His Robert E. Lee is almost ready to retire, but he’s going all out to finish this feud once and for all. HE wants to become the king of the Mississippi River over Leathers. Set the record for steamboats before the rails completely take over the business on the Mississippi. In order to do it, he must win a race against the newly constructed Natchez VI, the pride of Thomas Leathers. Whatever it takes, he vows to win this race and put Leathers in his place once and for all.

Frances Shackelford has been in love with Charles ever since she can remember. But he was engaged to her cousin, Abigail, until she suddenly took ill and died. And now, on a shopping trip with her father in New Orleans, (she’s going to a nursing school in the East in the fall) she spots Charles at the docks and sees her chance of trying to win his heart for herself—despite her father’s desperate attempt to keep them apart. She steals away onto the Lee to follow Charles’s journey in hopes she will be successful in wooing him and becoming his wife.

Charles Welbourne Knapp

Trained in college as a lawyer, Charles, the oldest of the Knapp children, was destined to take over the newspaper business when his father retired or passed on. Charles, newly home from college, is still a greenhorn in the business. Doesn’t know much about anything about the newspaper business, let alone being a top-notch reporter. He, at the moment, is a telegraph clerk. His father wants him to learn the business from the ground up. When the big news story breaks about the race, the father sees this as an opportunity for Charles to get his feet wet on a big story for the paper. He tells Charles he’s sending him to New Orleans to report on the race from the Robert E. Lee and he’s assigning Dacus (a top-notch reporter in his day) as his editor/mentor to help him learn.

Charles feels he’s not yet seasoned to do the story, but he’s on his way, nevertheless. In his struggle to do the newspaper and his father proud and to deal with his broken heart on top of it, he has to deal with Frances and the man who is trying to woo and win her away from him, Albert Eberman. At first, Charles believes he will never be able to love again as he grieves dearly for his beloved Abigail. But in the end, he decides it’s Frances he loves now and he must save her from a Lothario, to not mince words. Because that’s exactly what Albert proves himself to be, a man who preys on women’s affections, a Lothario who breaks hearts and then leaves them.

Albert Eberman, the son of a shipbuilding family in Pennsylvania and West Virginia, he served in the Civil War as a cavalry man. He won a medal for heroism, but he never received it. He is an expert on steamboats, too, because of his family’s firm that builds steamboats and other ships. But he doesn’t want to be in the business. He wants to travel the world and be a ladies’ man. He was wounded in the war, which helps him with the ladies (uses a cane). He sets his eyes on Frances, partly because he can tell she comes from a very well-to-do family and has money. Charles can see through him right away. He’s also given a heads up about Albert a couple of times, what he’s really like. Albert almost succeeds, but in the end is foiled in his attempt to marry into money. (He was also REAL. A passenger on the Lee, a war hero. He won a medal, but never received it.)

John Wiest The engineer who saved the Robert E. Lee from catastrophe.

[Frances Emerson]

Forgot to post my Linkedin stuff with my credibility check.

ASSIGNMENT #2

MY LINKED- IN PROFILE

Name: Frances E. Emerson

Job Title: Screenwriter

Industry: Entertainment or Motion Picture and Film

Experience:

Freelanced as a writer for two area newspaper and one business journal (no longer exists) in Auburn and Geneva, NY

Several articles published in local newspapers and magazines, paper and online websites.

Writer/ News Contact for Wilhelmina Pusmucans for her Frank J. Ludovico Sculpture Trail and Board of Directors

Author of one online interview with Robbie Takac of the Goo-Goo Dolls, published on http://www.newyorkmusic.com.

Experience in blogging and posting on several websites

Four years volunteered in Auburn Theater productions of Jesus Christ Superstar, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, Big River and Pirates of Penzance. (costumes and stage sets)

One year volunteered in Geneva Theater production of Pirates of Penzance. (costumes)

Writing adaptation shorts for White Orchard Theater Owner and Filmmaker Irina Sundukova

Education:

Bachelor of Arts in History–Eisenhower College c/o RIT, 1 Lomb Drive, Rochester, NY

Master of Science in General Education–Nazareth College of Rochester, East Avenue, Rochester, NY

New York State Teaching license, Secondary 7 – 12 Social Studies

New York State Teaching license, Secondary 7 – 12 Mathematics

Continuing Education Courses in Mathematics and Computer Science–Finger Lakes Community College, Canandaigua, NY

Paralegal Program–Southern Career Institute, Boca Raton, Fl

Course work for Screenwriting:

ScreenwritingU Online screenwriting classes with Hal Croasmun

Pro Series Alum

Scriptwriting with Angela Dadabbo and Skip Press (online course at Cayuga Community College)

Media Writing (online course at Cayuga Community College)

Writing for Children Courses I and II (correspondence courses at The Institute of Children’s Literature, University of Connecticut)

Writing Sitcoms for Television with Mindi Glazer

Online Screenplay Writing Classes at UCLA Extension Online Services

Masterclass Online screenwriting classes

FastScreenplay Jeff Bollow screenwriting system currently taking.

[Frances Emerson]

PAID ASSIGNMENTS ASSIGNMENT #3

FRAN’S SPECIALTY HISTORY/HISTORICAL FICTION = DRAMA

WHAT I LEARNED: Pay attention to the details. Watch out for the cliched dialogue. DO YOUR HISTORY HOMEWORK. WRITE DEEP (that means: they say one thing, the audience picks up a different meaning in the spoken words that is not spoken) For Troy’s outline, I discovered I needed a beatsheet or a detailed outline to keep this story on track.

I chose this genre because I want to write for History Channel one day. I thought about this long and hard. I also want to do comedy, but I can write comedy within this genre easily, depending on the story. I do have a completed feature comedy. I also have an historical piece, part one of it, that’s completed. I also wrote a treatment for an historical drama for producer Audra Kelly which she liked very much. To top it off, the script I’m currently trying to finish, BLACKBEARD’S TREASURE, needed a lot of historical research to be done on Blackbeard and the golden era of pirates. Besides that, Pirates of the Caribbean, all of them, have an historical, fabled ring to them and the writers drenched them with comedy.

So, this is my choice, for better or worse. I’m already part way there on the history stuff, having written and currently am writing some historical pieces, majored in history in college and have taught history in school.

The top movies that showed up on a couple of lists I looked at included: TROY, KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, THE EAGLE, LAST OF THE MOHICANS, THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO SEVEN AND GETTYSBURG. Several of my favorites showed up on the lists, and there were two musicals listed: Les Miserables ( I liked the Broadway play and PBS presentations better than the movie) and Hamilton. (I saw the roadshow version.) All but one my favorites, I haven’t seen the Chicago Seven yet, but I do intend to.

I do want to see IN THE HEART OF THE SEA for this assignment for two reasons: 1. It’s a Ron Howard movie. I would love to do something for him one day. And 2. the diary from which the movie/book was inspired was found here in a town near where I live. The cabin boy of the Essex, Thomas Nickerson lived here in the town of Penn Yan at one point. It was his diary that was discovered here and used for the movie.

There are so many GOOD historically inspired movies out there, it was hard to choose only two. But I wanted to see TROY (even though there are some historical errors in the movie concerning the epic tale and the real people involved) again. So, I think I will use these two movies for my assignment. P.S. Brad Pitt was born to play the part of Achilles, in my humble opinion.

MOVIE: TROY (Have seen this movie already about a dozen times)

GENRE: DRAMA/ historical, historical fiction

HOW DID IT DELIVER: On Target from Opening to the end

CONVENTIONS OF DRAMA

History stories follow the guidelines set up for Drama almost to the tee.

PURPOSE: The story of Troy begins with the tale of star-crossed lovers. The beautiful young Helen is married to a cruel king, Menelaus. Paris has been promised by the gods the most beautiful woman in the world to marry, which happens to be Helen. He meets her, falls in love, steals her away. Helen’s husband is beyond jealous and wants her back, which gives his brother Agamemnon, an excuse to start a major war with Troy. He’s been trying to take down Troy since forever and take the spoils and economics of the city for himself to build his empire.

CHARACTER DRIVEN JOURNEY: We are introduced to the characters immediately and what’s at stake for each. For Helen, it’s to get out of a loveless marriage and to marry the man she really loves, Paris. For Menelaus, it’s his pride in having the most beautiful woman in the world for his wife/possession. For Agamemnon, it’s finally getting the chance to make his empire become a reality—to rule the world. For Priam, the king of Troy, it’s keeping his beloved city and her people free from tyranny and to rule as a good king. For son Paris, it’s to finally come out of the shadow of his older brother and to have something for himself and the woman he loves. For son Hector, who is the next king of Troy, it’s honor (to honor the gods) and glory and to keep his family and city safe from harm. For Achilles, it’s a matter of principle. He’s his own man. But he, too, is torn between wanting the things a mortal man haves and cherishes throughout life, home, family, the love of a good woman, and the honor and glory of becoming famous through all eternity so that every man speaks his name in reverence and is remembered. Achilles falls in love. He, too, becomes a star-crossed lover in the midst of a terrible war. For Ulysses, Achilles’ friend, he does this for honor and glory, too, but for his homeland and for his family. He longs to return home to Ithaca, but he cannot until the war is done. And he fears unless he comes up with something that will help Agamemnon win, he won’t be able to go home again—and he won’t for a very long time, having angered the gods.

HIGH STAKES COME FROM WITHIN: Each character, in his/her own terms if driven by guilt, fear, lust, a longing for something they cannot have. They’re at the mercy of the gods.

EMOTIONALLY RESONATES: We see the two brothers, Agamemnon and Menelaus, both evil in their own way, and the two good brothers Hector and Paris suffering in their torments, for they are good men thrust in circumstances they have no control over. Helen, wants to get away from her cruel husband and live with Paris in peace. But she cannot. She feels the gods have ordained this for her and she cannot escape it. She must live her days out in this prison she’s been in. Priam, knows every moment he’s alive his city is in danger of being invaded. He is getting too old and needs to pass the torch onto Hector, but he fears the gods are against them, even though he shows everyone on the outside he believes the gods are with Troy, he is a broken man even before the war begins.

CHALLENGING, EMOTIONALLY-CHARGED SITUATIONS:

The big challenge is the war itself. The challenges that follow are personal. Hector will die on the battlefield defending his brother’s honor. Priam will suffer the loss of his city to Agamemnon. Helen and Hector’s wife will escape. But in the end, (we know from the fable-epic poem, Hector’s son will die.) Paris will finally find the courage to defend his city and his family. Achilles will die in defending the woman he loves. And for Achilles, there is a constant battle between him and Agamemnon. Achilles will suffer another loss for his choice, he will lose his cousin in a botched battle that will torment him until he, himself, dies.

REAL LIFE SITUATIONS:

The story of Troy, for many years, was considered pure fable until only a few years ago when Sleeman, who was searching or the fabled city, found it. We also know from history the evil kings did exist. And from Sleeman’s discovery, we know that Priam and Hector and Paris must also have existed. The people who populate this story face everyday situations we face in today’s world. War, love, longing, a fear that we may lose everything because of someone else’s petty greed or ambition. This story has resonated throughout time, it still resonates with us today. School children hear the stories of Troy and the Greek gods. This is why this movie was so popular when it came out. We love stories like this. We can’t get enough of them. We celebrate stories like this. AND the actors and actresses in the movie are strong and very popular with the viewing audience.

MOVIE OUTLINE: TROY

OPENING:

Narrated by Achilles. Overview of the story which is about to take place. Achilles fights a war for a king he despises. Agamemnon is triumphant. The defeated kings now have to bend the knee to him in obedience.

There is a celebration in Sparta with ally Troy. Hector and Paris, Priam’s sons, attend.

Hector salutes Menelaus, king of Sparta, an evil king like his brother Agamemnon.

INCITING INCIDENT:

Paris is a lover. He loves Helen, Menelaus’s wife. He plots to take her back to Troy with him when they leave. Helen won’t go. She’s afraid of her husband, what he’ll do. Paris persuades her to go to Troy with him.

Hector knows what’s going on. He deeply worries for his brother.

BY PAGE TEN:

Next morning: Hector discovers, he is told, Helen is on board their ship. Hector argues, Helen must be returned to her husband. But Paris can’t, won’t.

We know this doesn’t look good for Troy. There will be a war.

Helen is welcomed into Troy by Priam, who is also afraid, not only for his son but for Troy as well. A huge war looms now on the horizon. They do not trust Agamemnon.

TURNING POINT:

Menelaus won’t be able to do it by himself, Priam and Hector exchange worry words for their future. He’ll go to his brother for help. Agamemnon is the real enemy here. He’s wanted Troy since forever and he’ll wage a major war in order to get her.

NEXT:

Achilles is training his cousin, Petroclus, in the art of hand-to-hand sword combat. He is getting very good, but not yet as good as Achilles.

Achilles is visited by Ulysses who tells him Agamemnon is planning another war and he needs Achilles to help him fight. But Achilles is not happy. He does not want to fight another war, especially for a king he despises.

Achilles goes to consult his mother, the goddess Thetis, on this matter.

TURNING POINT FOR ACHILLES:

Thetis tells her son he has two choices: he can refuse and live a happy life with family and friends, content and his name will die in history. OR, he can fight in the war and have glory forever, but there will be no family. (he will die in the war prophecy.)

NEXT:

We meet Breseis, Hector and Paris’s cousin, a priestess in the Temple of Apollo. She is now “married” to Apollo and no earthly man can ever possess her.

Priam and Hector have words about Paris, his love for Helen, how he’s changed his foolhardy ways because of her. They fear for Troy and Agamemnon’s wrath.

Paris and Helen are also worried about what Agamemnon and Menelaus will do. Paris is confident they can stay together if they run away. Helen is not so sure. She knows her husband. She knows Agamemnon.

Priam goes to the temple to pray.

Hector, the more practical, prepares for a war.

Breseis is in the Temple of Apollo offering prayers and gifts to her patron god.

Hector spends time with his wife and son knowing it could be the last time.

ALARMS RING OUT

The ships are coming. They’ve been spotted. They are now in the harbor. Troy is in chaos.

TURNING POINT FOR ACHILLES:

Achilles has made his decision to fight in the war for the glory and fame with his cousin, but NOT for Agamemnon.

ATTACK. The beach is in tumult.

Agamemnon is held off for a time, but Troy has suffered much.

Agamemnon’s men attack the Temple of Apollo, destroy the statue. They enter the temple and kidnap Breseis.

Troy retreats as does Agamemnon’s army.

But first,

TURNING POINT FOR HECTOR AND ACHILLES:

Hector and Achilles meet, exchange words of war and warning. Achilles will not fight him yet, but they know it is only a matter of time.

Achilles returns to camp. The men have a gift for him: Breseis.

She and Achilles fight. But Achilles tries to protect her at all costs. She is a princess of Troy.

MIDPOINT:

As the kings bend the knee again to Agamemnon and vow to fight for him to the end, Agamemnon summons Achilles to his side. Achilles does NOT want to go.

They exchange words of hate with each other. Agamemnon is jealous of Achilles, the men love him so. He accuses Achilles of stealing his glory. Achilles just wants peace and to go home.

Agamemnon brings in Breseis to taunt him. He says he will use Breseis for his personal love slave because he can.

WAR COUNCIL

Hector prepares the others for the coming war. He warns them to beware of false hope, pride and strength. The gods are NOT with us, he says, “bird signs” cannot predict what will happen.

But the council will not listen to him.

Hector and Paris talk. Hector no longer believes in the gods. The men destroyed Apollo’s temple and stature and nothing happened to them.

TURNING POINT FOR PARIS:

Paris says he started the war. He will fight Menelaus to end it.

Then Priam has a quiet talk with Paris. He shares words of love and warning for him. Words of comfort.

A HISTORY REFERENCE:

The SWORD OF TROY. is passed onto him. Priam say He who carries the sward will ensure the continuation of Troy. The sword is in reference to Aeneas, who gets the sword and escapes to Alba Longa where he will be the father of the Roman people.

TURNING POINT FOR HECTOR:

Hector spends what time he can with his family. He knows he’s going to die. He shares a way for escape with his wife. Take as many as you can with you, he says. He then leaves to find Helen trying to leave the city on the QT. He stops her. She’s worried for Paris and needs to go stop Menelaus and Agamemnon.

But the die has been cast. Hector persuades her to stay. There’s nothing she can do now.

NIGHT IN THE ENEMY’S CAMP:

Achilles is in his tent. He wants to leave the war behind, go home. Petraclus does not agree. He wants to stay and fight. Achilles won’t let him. He tells Petraclus he’s going home with his men.

NEXT MORNING:

Hector goes out with Paris to meet Menelaus. All are watching. Especially Agamemnon. He laughs at the sight.

The fear on Priam’s face for his son is overwhelming.

Paris and Menelaus fight, but it is a disaster. Paris is wounded. He tries to escape. Menelaus and Agamemnon cry foul. But Hector protects his brother and kills Menelaus. Another battle ensues. Many soldiers on both sides are killed. Troy barely survives this one, too.

Bodies are committed to their funeral pyres. Agamemnon puts fire to his brother’s body, vowing revenge in his heart. And he is angry at Achilles for not helping in the battle.

TURNING POINT FOR ACHILLES:

Agamemnon tells Achilles he gave Breseis to the soldiers to do whatever they wanted. Achilles, angered, goes after her, rescues her. Takes her back to his tent. At first, she’s not grateful, but then he convinces her otherwise. That he is a good man and that he is only looking out for her best interests.

He tells her he knows the gods. “The gods envy us” because we are mortal and see things much sweeter, as more precious than they do.

She falls for Achilles, and he for her. They make love. Their lives become intertwined. As Achilles finds peace with Breseis, he learns another tragedy of the war.

CLASH/CLIMAX:

His cousin, Petraclus, has taken his place in another squirmish and has been killed by Hector. Hector had no idea it wasn’t Achilles.

Achilles spits back you thought you could kill me???? Think again. This time, it’s game on.

They prepare for one-on-one battle with one another. Achilles vows Hector will die for his insolence and stupidity.

Hector and Achilles fight to the death. Achilles is surprised. Hector CAN hold his own against a demi-god. But in the end, Hector is killed, Achilles survives. He drags Hector’s body through the battlefield before Priam and then takes it back to camp. Breseis hates Achilles or killing her cousin, but she can’t help herself. She still loves him.

RESOLUTION:

Priam comes to visit Achilles, to pay humble homage and to get his son back for his pyre. Words of respect are exchanged. Achilles says Priam is a far better king than the one winning this war. Hector is taken back to Troy. Priam is given the allotted number of days for mourning. And then he is laid to rest on his funeral pyre. He finds Breseis and takes her back with him, too.

Ulysses, in the meantime, has come up with a solution to end the war for Agamemnon. Breach the walls with a decoy, a horse.

NEXT MORNING:

The ships are gone from the harbor. On the beach, an “offering” is left. The Trojans see it as a gift, a giving up. But Paris knows better. He tells his father to burn it. He does not know there are men inside. But he does know the gift does not bode will for the Trojans.

But the Trojans take the horse back to the city.

An alarm is almost sent out when a scout discovers the ships hiding in another harbor. The scout is killed.

In the middle of the night, the men come out of the belly of the horse and begin their ransacking of Troy. Pillaging and plundering. The Trojans must run to escape. The city is set on fire. Priam is killed in the Temple. Breseis, who was brought safely back to the city by Priam, is threatened again by Agamemnon. But she fights back and stabs him, killing him. (In the epic, this is not how Agamemnon died.) She runs away to where she sees Paris. Paris has just come from the escape tunnel where he has given the sword to Aeneas to take with him on their journey.

Achilles has come to the city to find her and take Breseis with him. But Paris finds him and kills him before he can do that. An arrow is shot into his vulnerable heel. Breseis and Achilles have time to say goodbye before she is whisked away out of the city with Paris.

DENOUEMENT:

Ulysses says goodbye to Achilles, places two coins on his eyes for the ferryman and lights the funeral pyre. Achilles’ voice narrates the closing remarks of his story and his glory that will bear his name for all time.

MOVIE TWO: IN THE HEART OF THE SEA (have seen this movie only once)

On the back cover of the DVD, it says this true-life story of the ESSEX would inspire the tale of MOBY-DICK, which people still today read and remember. (Moby Dick is heralded as one of the greatest American novels of all time.)

As I stated earlier, this script was inspired by the diary of the cabin boy, Thomas Nickerson, on the Essex when the disaster happened. It is his story that is told through the movie script and film. (And there’s a book the script is also based on, credited at the end of the movie.)

PURPOSE: To retell the story of the Captain and crew of the ESSEX, what happened and how it happened, and what became of the people who suffered in the tragedy. Told through the eyes of the cabin boy, now a grown man who has lived for many years after the tragedy and still can’t deal, or get over the loss of the ship. It is through his eyes we are told of the ordeal and why this man was unable to cope with the loss for a very long time.

CHARACTER DRIVEN JOURNEY: The cabin boy’s lifelong struggle for what happened on the Essex and the one thing they had to go in order to survive. Captain Pollard’s struggle to prove to himself and his family he’s the right man for the job. Chase’s struggle of being away from his family for so long on a job he really didn’t want any part of, but he was so good at it, he couldn’t accept was the ONLY man for the job and yet did what he had to do for the survival of his crew.

HIGH STAKES FROM WITHIN: struggles within each man in continually asking themselves are they the right man for the job. The cabin boy’s struggle to become a seasoned whaler and yet, he couldn’t cope with what happened to the crew in their struggle for survival.

EMOTIONALLY RESONATES: Every person on this earth has struggles in their jobs, having to prove themselves they are the best or they are worthy of the job. And struggle to prove to their families that they can do the job and are the person they thought they were. It’s times when you have to prove to your family that you ARE a good person, you KNOW what you’re doing and are capable of, and you WON’T let them down. (Cabin boy’s fear he would let his wife down if he told her the whole truth/story of what happened out on the sea.

CHALLENGING, EMOTIONALLY CHARGED SITUATIONS: The title itself is emotionally charged. Every scene is charged with the dangers of what it was like to hunt whale back then for the oils they produced. And Herman Melville expressed his struggles with being a great writer (he said he wasn’t a great writer. And yet he was compelled to write this story. He had to, to tell it right and the way it needed to be told for the world to read.)

MOVIE OUTLINE:

OPENING: A story within a story

February 1850, Nantucket. Herman Melville is looking for a man (name here) who can tell him the real story of the Essex what happened, how it was lost at sea, for his book MOBY DICK.

We are introduced to the Ordinary World of the Whaler. The world of the sea, in a time long ago when fishing and ships were the mainstay of Massachusetts.

Herman finds the man. At. First, he won’t cooperate, he won’t tell the story, not even for the good money he’ll be receiving. But then his wife urges him to tell the story. Maybe it will help his melancholy and depression if he does.

INCITING INCIDENT:

He decides to talk to Melville, tell him the story about what happened to the Essex.

BY PAGE 10:

We know this is an old story (1850) We know it’s about Herman Melville and how he came to write his novel, MOBY DICK. What inspired it. He says once here, in his lines. (He will say it again.) And it’s a story about the whaling ship, the Essex, and how it came to be destroyed and what happened to her crew. We also learn the story won’t be truly revealed years until later, when Thomas, who is now an old man, tells it to the author.

A SECOND OPENING:

Introduces the men of the Essex.

We first meet Owen Chase, who will help Captain George Pollard and the crew of the Essex to survive. We learn they are hiring him to go whale hunting for the oil. They are in great need of the oil. He doesn’t want to go, to leave his wife and family for the length of time he will need to be away. He is a farmer now in New England. He is reluctant to say the least.

The ordinary world of a farmer in Massachusetts who is called to head up a whaling crew for the money. He’s the only man for the job.

HIS INCITING INCIDENT:

Thomas Nickerson, the cabin boy, decides to tell his story to Herman Melville at the urging of his wife.

BY PAGE 10:

We now know he’s on his way to hunt for the whale. He cannot stay away. He will be gone for a very long time. (And Thomas is getting into specifics about what happened that fateful time in his life.)

FIRST TURNING POINT:

First, he encounters Captain Pollard. Right off the bat, they do not get along. the I ARE IN CHARGE! syndrome rears its ugly head. I am the Captain. You will do as I say. Chase isn’t buying it, but to get along he tries to keep the peace. But he knows he’s going to have a rough time of it, because of the Captain’s reluctance to accept someone is better than him at the whaling industry. (Pollard will concede later that he, indeed, is very devoid of expertise in that field.)

SIDE NOTES: ATTENTION TO DETAIL throughout this movie is meticulous. Everything about the sea, the town, the wardrobe, the talk, the hair, the food, the time period in general. Ron Howard shows us details of everyday life in the fishing village with every shot taken. Also, he shows us things the crew must know in order to sail a ship like the Essex and be on the whaling job. The tools, the terms, things in general as well. the What/how they ate their food. For example, the handling of the utensils.

A HERMAN MELVILLE SCENE IS INTERJECTED HERE.

The turning point continues with mounting tension between the captain and Chase. Between crew member.

A COMING STORM. One of the great perils for men at sea. They weather the storm, but barely. Another argument ensues between the captain and Chase when he finds out it was a test of his men. Pollard admits it. He set it up deliberately. He steered them into the storm. Chase is far from a happy camper now. He goes on with his work.

SECOND TURNING POINT:

The crew finally comes upon a great school of whales. They go out to meet them, to capture one for harvest. This whale isn’t a bad catch. It’s a long difficult, arduous process in harvesting the products from the whale, but they succeed after a time. They find afterwards they are running out of supplies and need to find a place to get more for the next harvest. We learn as we see a map of their route, they have been 14 months at sea. No light task for someone who longs for home. They finally find their supplies.

SIDE NOTES: These scenes feel like they’re following the pages of the diary, line by line. Where they go, who they meet, what they need to do to survive.

MIDPOINT:

The crew is refreshed and given new hope to go on for their next kill, harvest. They load up and continue on their journey. It’s not long before they encounter their next school. They make a beeline for the next whale they want to take down. But there is a major problem. The whale is HUGE and it fights back.

So much so, that one swift flip of its tail, it destroys the Essex. It is disabled. The crew must abandon ship. They get into their dingies and then discover they need to get as many supplies as they can take with them. They hurry to get enough just in time before the ship explodes and a great fire ensues totally destroying what remains.

They are cast out for days on the dingies. Their supplies soon begin to run out. They must find, food, water and land in order to survive. They try to fish, but with little luck. Chase is blamed for the wreckage of the Essex.

CLASH. CLIMAX:

They go so long without anything, it’s decided, after one crew member dies from starvation and lack of water, they must the one forbidden thing by humanity in order to survive, commit cannibalism. (This one act destroys the very soul of the cabin boy. He will barely be able to live with himself for the remainder of his life, until his wife forgives him.) It was hard for the other men, too.

RESOLUTION:

But they finally make it home. Chase and Pollard finally resolve their differences. They are called before a board to be questioned as to what happened to the Essex.

The board wants the men to “whitewash” the story, to bury it. Chase refuses. Pollard takes more time to decide, but in the end, he refuses, as well. Chase returns home, never to go whaling ever again.

Pollard takes to the sea again to hunt for the white whale that destroyed the Essex.

FINAL SIDE NOTES: Every detail is paid attention to. Every level, every aspect, time, story, movie. Some of the shots are meant to show details of the ocean, life of the whalers, the time period, the specific little things of the times such as how they handled utensils for eating. The work is meticulous, impeccable.

[Frances Emerson]

PAID ASSIGNMENTS ASSIGNMENT #2

FRAN’S CREDIBILITY IS GOING UP!

WHAT I LEARNED: I need to start working on my contacts on Stage 32 and Twitter.

(I noticed I do have quite a bit accomplished, but still have a long way to go in getting this complete!)

I also need to get more business learning/savvy about the movie business.

Steps I need to take to get better credibility (to start with):

1. Work with Audra Kelly again on getting The Hope Chest produced/filmed

2. Get some on-set experience

3. Get started on learning the business end of making films. Get producer experience.

CREDIBILITY CHECKLIST

I have a number of writing samples:

I think I still have my Seven Rays scene on a flash drive somewhere I can show

My BIG BANG THEORY script, THE COOPER CONUNDRUM, this script was recommended to put into a contest held for our writing classes (I didn’t win) but I did have fun writing this for the class, Lisa Rosenthal was our instructor.

Treatment for THE HOPE CHEST (working title) This was written for Audra Kelly, Cowboy’s Sweetheart Productions

HASH HOUSE this is my spec comedy feature script about the restaurant business.

THE GREAT STEAMBOAT RACE BETWEEN THE NATCHEZ AND THE ROBERT E. LEE PART ONE (started in an online UCLA class under Andrew Osborne, instructor. This one the class loved. And it was recommended I finish the entire script by up-and-coming producer/director Noah Pitifer.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, UNCLE EDDIE sitcom spec script written in collaboration with story writer Eileen (I can’t give you her whole name).

I have several published articles (my proudest work):

A Breast Cancer Survivor’s Story I got a lot of praise for this one from the newspaper readers

The Finger Lakes Community College Viticulture piece for Life in the Finger Lakes Magazine, which I am extremely proud of. Plus, the follow-up article for the internet version on the Messick family, contractors and winemakers who moved to our area to become vintners. An interview on their plans for the old Seneca Lake Country Club (winery, etc.)

How To Draw a Political Cartoon, my first major magazine published

an article, Against All Odds, written for a local newspaper about a local rock and roll artist’s climb in the music business, which was stolen by a casino website and reprinted. (true I found it online one day, no name, but it was mine word for word! I still have the article from their site.)

A second interview with a local rock and roll artist, for the Auburn Citizen.

An interview with Nick Sagan for Life in the Finger Lakes Magazine.

AN interview with Robby Takac of the Goo Goo Dolls for http://www.newyorkmusic.com

Screenwriting accomplishments:

As a Comedy Writer, I was praised for my Big Bang Theory spec script. I can deliver a good punchline.

As a History Writer, I am a stickler for historical accuracy. I can deliver. I am a trained historiographer. I can do research, find things other people have trouble locating. (I had to do that in my library job at a local college library several years ago when the students were having trouble locating articles for their classes. My boss was amazed, grateful for the skill.) I’m not a happy camper when other writers don’t give us the accuracy history deserves—and that’s often.) I do have one of my teaching certificates in Social Studies (history).

I was third runner-up in the Seven Rays scene writing contest several years ago.

Zero Google Factor:

I don’t have a google profile other than the social media sites. My name belongs to several business people that crop up in the search. And some people who serve in the higher education field.

I have quite a number of them in my Stage 32 network. I really haven’t used this source very much at all.

My Hollywood Connections:

I do have a connection or two.

Saxon Moen who is an up-and-coming filmmaker who’s worked with Bong Jun Ho.

Fred Lyle, an ex-producer who worked on Miami Vice and Nash Bridges.

Noah Pitifer, also a filmmaker, who’s been winning awards in his young career. Currently he’s working with Jesse Eisenberg on a new film.

Craig Campobasso, who I helped fund his short film Stranger at the Pentagon, and who is currently trying to secure funds to turn his short film into a full-length feature.

Audra Kelly, owner and producer at Cowboy’s Sweetheart Productions.

Writing adaptation shorts for White Orchard Theater Owner and Filmmaker(commericials) Irina Sundukova

My list of screenwriting classes:

Scriptwriting with Angela Dadabbo and Skip Press (online courses at Cayuga Community College)

Media Writing (online course at Cayuga Community College

Writing for Children Courses I and II (correspondence courses at The Institute of Children’s Literature, University of Connecticut)

Writing Sitcoms for Television with Mindi Glazer

Online Screenplay Writing Classes at UCLA Extension Online Services

features with Andrew Osborne

sitcom writing with Lisa Rosenthal

Masterclass Online screenwriting classes

Aaron Sorkin masterclass

Steve Martin masterclass

Ken Burns (future masterclass)

ScreenwritingU Online screenwriting classes with Hal Croasmun

Pro Series Alum

Borrowed Credibility:

Noah Pitifer working on and off with a producer, filmmaker

Travis McCoy, Lauren Holly, Christopher McDonald, Saxon Moen

(all from school)

Zero IMDB Credits

OTHER CREDIBILITY

I helped fund Craig Campobasso’s project, Stranger at the Pentagon.

Worked with the producers of a short-lived sitcom The Church

ASSIGNMENT #2

MY LINKED- IN PROFILE

Name: Frances E. Emerson

Job Title: Screenwriter

Industry: Entertainment or Motion Picture and Film

Experience:

Freelanced as a writer for two area newspaper and one business journal (no longer exists) in Auburn and Geneva, NY

Several articles published in local newspapers and magazines, paper and online websites.

Writer/ News Contact for Wilhelmina Pusmucans for her Frank J. Ludovico Sculpture Trail and Board of Directors

Author of one online interview with Robbie Takac of the Goo-Goo Dolls, published on http://www.newyorkmusic.com.

Experience in blogging and posting on several websites

Four years volunteered in Auburn Theater productions of Jesus Christ Superstar, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, Big River and Pirates of Penzance. (costumes and stage sets)

One year volunteered in Geneva Theater production of Pirates of Penzance. (costumes)

Writing adaptation shorts for White Orchard Theater Owner and Filmmaker Irina Sundukova

Education:

Bachelor of Arts in History–Eisenhower College c/o RIT, 1 Lomb Drive, Rochester, NY

Master of Science in General Education–Nazareth College of Rochester, East Avenue, Rochester, NY

New York State Teaching license, Secondary 7 – 12 Social Studies

New York State Teaching license, Secondary 7 – 12 Mathematics

Continuing Education Courses in Mathematics and Computer Science–Finger Lakes Community College, Canandaigua, NY

Paralegal Program–Southern Career Institute, Boca Raton, Fl

Course work for Screenwriting:

ScreenwritingU Online screenwriting classes with Hal Croasmun

Pro Series Alum

Scriptwriting with Angela Dadabbo and Skip Press (online course at Cayuga Community College)

Media Writing (online course at Cayuga Community College)

Writing for Children Courses I and II (correspondence courses at The Institute of Children’s Literature, University of Connecticut)

Writing Sitcoms for Television with Mindi Glazer

Online Screenplay Writing Classes at UCLA Extension Online Services

Masterclass Online screenwriting classes

FastScreenplay Jeff Bollow screenwriting system currently taking.

[Frances Emerson]

FRAN’S PROJECTS AND INSIGHTS

Teleconference Reactions

Listening to the teleconference, the biggest takeaway I had is “you must work with a producer on all levels to get the work done and in the can.” And to learn from them as you go. Let them be your mentor, your teacher. Above all, learn.

But, also, in the same respect, don’t compromise yourself to the point you lose yourself, what makes your writing unique, and your creativity in general entirely. That, too, is an important part of getting your film done.

As I was writing a scene for my pro series project BLACKBEARD’S TREASURE, I knew something wasn’t meshing. As hard as I tried to, the scene I was working on just wasn’t coming together as I wanted it to. I needed a sounding board, a second opinion to help me out. I do have a friend who is my reader, but I wasn’t sure if she could help me either on what I needed to do. What I needed was an expert. But I really didn’t have one on hand as I was writing and my class series was weeks over. So, I sat myself down and said to my brain, “I’m giving you some time to let it simmer, think about it and see if you can come up with something else that will work.”

And then one day, I woke up and there it was! I had my solution. With a bit of historical research, I’m now on my way of getting that scene done. It’s going to need another scene or two rewrite, and some narrative writing to get it to the point of here I want it, but I’m okay with that. (So, I think I CAN do rewrites if I need to.)

I did have to wait a few days for it to happen, I don’t like waiting days for solutions to come to me. I’d rather have someone I can work with who can be a sounding board, be a good collaborator and help me overcome these writer hurdles I experience from time to time.

I have to confess I did have some very bad experiences during my time writing. Some I never want to go through ever again. I’m hoping from this class, I can find someone I can be on par with, compatible with and can work together well with for my visions to come to life—and for his/hers as well.

If I can have that, I know I’ll be on my way to becoming a writer with a film under my belt. That is my dream, my goal.

I would like to adapt books. I’ve had one in mind I’ve wanted to do for a very long time for a very specific actor. Maybe one day I can do that. But for right now, I’ll be happy to find a producer I can work with who can make my goal a reality and I can make his/her dream become a reality, too.

PROJECTS

My very high budget script I’ve been working on for years, an historical accounting and a love story to boot on THE GREAT STEAMBOAT RACE BETWEEN THE NATCHEZ AND THE ROBERT E. LEE. I so want to finish this one. It’s a work in progress. Part One is finished and this I want to do for the History Channel or the big screen. This is going to take a lot of money to produce. BLOCKBUSTER is the word for this one. I’m guessing at least $100 million because of the steamboats and the decks and rooms that will have to be recreated for the movie. For part of this script, I was taking online classes from ULCA to work on this. It’s a script that I really want to get done. The one character my online class absolutely loved is my heroine, Frances. She was a real person in life I’ve based my character on. They’re all real people, I’ve just put my imagination to work and created a whole story for the people populating these ships and the reporters on the scene. Some of it is a real comedy!

My second project fulfills two of the must dos. My first, really truly finished script: HASH HOUSE. About the foibles and BS that goes on in the restaurant business, a comedy. Things that my sister and I very much experienced when we waited tables at various restaurants. The names have been changed to protect the guilty. This project, depending on if a well-known actor wants to take it on or we have up and coming new faces, this one could be done on a $5 to $15 million range. Maybe lower if done right. This could make a decent indie movie for some up and coming producer and with me as the writer, he has TWO experts who can help him/her get the waiting on tables right.

For the project I’d like to create:

I’ve been braining storm the all the ones I really want to get done since early this morning. Three I can’t do because I need permission. Two are scripts I worked on when I was fresh out of college, many moons ago, I thought I’d like to redo one day. There’s one I started when I was taking how to write for comic books classes (MCU stuff) I’d like to redo as a film one day. And one that I did a lot of research on and would like to try to complete. It’s one like the movie GODS OF EGYPT. And the one that still intrigues me to no end today. A story about the Hollow Earth combined with the fable of Atlantis I want to put together. I Need to think about this a bit more. But I’ve narrowed it down to three: The LORD ASTRA (MCU) one because I’ve been watching Around the World in 80 Days on PBS that’s got me hyped for this kind of story again. My work on the legend of Romulus and Remus I love no matter what and I’m sitting in a Global class right now. The students are finishing a test on ROME! And my time travel one inspired by the John Titor time traveler story I was working on for another screenwriting class a few years ago. By next class, I’ll have decided, unless some of you want to weigh in on what I should do now. Thanks for reading. (Right now I’m leaning toward the Lord Astra one and the Romulus and Remus one.)

[Frances Emerson]

MY INTRODUCTION

As I was reading through the assignment, the last paragraphs on the last page before our assignment instructions, made me laugh. “I can do this!” I told myself. “I work with Drama Queens!”

So, as an introduction, I’m starting with: Hi! My name is Frances Emerson. Officially, I’m retired, but I still work part time, first, as an Evening Coordinator at my local community college where I need to be a jack of all trades: overseer, dispute settler, negotiator, copy person, go to person, tech support specialist, just to name a few things I do on a nightly basis. My second part time job is Substitute Teacher. I’m a certified New York State public school teacher, certified in Social Studies 7 – 12 and Mathematics 7 – 12. I work with children in Middle School and High School, as assigned, on a day-to day basis. Talk about your trying to get along! If I can get along with most children in a school setting, I think I can get along with producers and directors, too!

But my first love has always been writing, and especially trying to write for movies and television.

I’ve had a few articles published in local newspapers and magazines and on websites. I was a third runner-up in The Seven Rays scene writing contest a few years back.

My current project (one of several in progress) is one I’m trying to finish up for my pro series classes. I had to step back and rework my game show part of this script. But in a few days, as I work on this section of the script, I think I’ll have a much better handle of things in my story because of it.

I’m looking forward to working with all of you on finally getting something done AND ON FILM.

PS. I also live near the place where Rod Serling wrote his Twilight Zone and Night Gallery series. (Cayuga Lake. It is a beautiful place!) And I also live near the city (Auburn) where Theodore (Ted) Case invented sound-on film. (Not that DeForrest fellow who’s credited. I’ve seen Case’s lab.) And we are a place where several famous people have visited and some grew up. (Lauren Holly, Travie McCoy and Christopher McDonald to name three.) And Seneca Falls, the birthplace of Women’s Rights AND the inspiration for Frank Capra’s It’s a Wonderful Life AND the place where I met Ken Burns when he was doing his documentary series on Not for Ourselves Alone, the story of Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton and the Women’s Rights movement.)

Thnx for listening/reading!

Frances

I have one really and truly finished comedy feature, 4 sitcoms, 4 scripts in progress. I want to find a producer who will like my writing and work with me to help me get a film done. And I think I’ve already put the unique in my intro.

[Frances Emerson]

I, Frances Emerson, agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Frances Emerson]

I know where you’re coming from. Would you like me to give it a once over for you? send it here emersofe@yahoo.com. You don’t need to review mind. I have one coming.

[Frances Emerson]

next time. let me know when you can.

[Frances Emerson]

No one has replied yet that I can see.

[Frances Emerson]

Would you like to exchange with me? I have an historical fiction/fantasy. I love ancient history and mine is based on the founding of Rome.

Frances

[Frances Emerson]

Hi Sandra:

I liked your outline. It sounds like you are an historical fiction person, too. I guess we’re supposed to team up. So, do you have anyone yet to team up with? I’m at emersofe@yahoo.com if you are good with this.

[Frances Emerson]

I like ancient history, Egypt, Greece and especially Rome stuff. Looking to pair up. If you wish email me at emersofe@yahoo.com

[Frances Emerson]

James: looking for someone whos writing comedies and alsok I have an interest in writing holiday scripts. Are you willing to pair up with me? almost forgot. Email me at emersofe@yahoo.com if you want to.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  Frances Emerson.

[Frances Emerson]

Joe looking for somebody who is writing comedy for this class, too. are you willing to pair up with me? Almost forgot. If you’re okay with this email me at emersofe@yahoo.com

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  Frances Emerson.

[Frances Emerson]

Thank you. I will try. But the story is written three parts. I have three scripts on this one to sell. I’ll giv it a try. Thanks.

[Frances Emerson]

Oh, I agree with you. I’ve learned the outline procedure here, too. Titles, I like my titles, but my brain is still spitting title out. I started working on my outline today in fact. Just the prelims. I’m going to have to take a couple extra days myself. I like to be meticulous. I pays off to be. I have a producer who likes my one script. She’s too small to do it. But she loves it anyway and its going to help me get it to market. She said she loves my paying attention to detail. So, I’m going with that!

[Frances Emerson]

The diary was written by a friend Valentina. I also found a diary that was published by Olga the Grand Duchess. It’s very interesting. With what I also found on the net, I can make a nice little dramatic triangle with the outside story of the Screenwriter and her Director husband who are having marital problems. Work and his extramarital affairs are getting in the way. She finds her self taking a hint from what happened with Olga and to not take it anymore and go on on her own, with her head held high. Life’s too short message. Remember. The Romanov family was murdered. I’m glad you liked it. This morning I was thinking maybe I took on too much with my trying to finish my other script in the meantime. Olga was a complicated figure of history. She loved her cousin, but he was part of the Rasputin murder which her mother was so angered over. He was banished from court and she went to work as a nurse to care for the wounded soldiers. There she fell in love again with another Dmitri, I think to get back at her mother and he was not so nice a guy. In the end she died a sad sad figure. I hope I can convey that to my audience. THank you.