[Francine Miranda]

I, Francine Miranda, agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

• This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by  Francine Miranda.

[Francine Miranda]

I, Francine Miranda, agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

• This reply was modified 11 months ago by  Francine Miranda.

[Francine Miranda]

Francine’s 4 Act Transformational Structure

What I Learned: Is to get out of my head and just fill in the blanks. Stay empowered!

Concept: HORROR COMEDY: A grandma worships a demon to grow a money tree in her backyard and starts living the high life, only to have the tree stolen by her granddaughter!

Main Conflict: Suzie must hide the fact that she has stolen grandma’s money tree or else grandma will take it back, meaning Suzie loses her only chance at changing her life. The money tree is cursed with a Demon that wants to kill her for stealing the tree.

Old Ways

• Rebellious, breaks all the rules, impulsive
• Not driven, lacks direction in life
• Doesn’t follow through on her plans, gives up easily
• Looks for easy answers as solutions to her problems
• Materialistic

New Ways

• Empowered, solves her own problems, strategic
• Faces her fears, courageous
• Knows herself and what she wants, driven
• Evaluates, thinks things through
• Mature

Act 1:

Opening: It’s grandma’s 75<sup style=”font-family: inherit;”>th</sup> birthday party in her garden, but a section is taped off. Suzie sneaks into this area to have a cigarette/ vape/ smoke pot, and is caught by grandma and lectured till she storms off in a huff. At home, her mom cautions her to be nicer to grandma or she will be cut out of the will.

Inciting Incident: While grandma is away on vacation, Suzie breaks into her house to vandalize the garden and discovers the money tree Grandma’s been hiding. Impulsively, she steals it.

Turning Point: When Grandma returns and finds the tree gone, she calls the police and lies that something valued at $50,000 was stolen, and the police open an investigation. Grandma sets up security cameras all over the house, so when Suzie decides to return the money tree cuz of the heat (police), she can’t.

Act 2:

New plan: Suzie can’t return the money tree, so she might as well make use of it! The first thing she does Is lease a fancy condo by lying on the application.

Plan in action: The realtor is a friend of grandma and realizes Suzie is the granddaughter, she calls up grandma as a reference. Grandma is instantly suspicious about how Suzie can afford the lease. Suzie’s condo lease application gets rejected. Suzie gets rejected from all rental applications. She even tries a deposit on a house, but the bank runs a credit check on her and laughs her out of the building.

To console herself, she goes on a shopping spree. But the more she spends, the sicker she gets.

Midpoint Turning Point: Suzie discovers the tree is cursed and the demon in the tree is making her sick and miserable – nightmares and dark thoughts.

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Suzie tries to get rid of the tree, abandoning it but it shows up in her house, burning it but it doesn’t burn, burying it but it appears in her house again.

New plan: She creates an elaborate plan to break into grandma’s and put back the money tree. She will disable the cameras, distract grandma, etc. – all well-thought out and involving hard work and preparation. She even has to learn how to pick locks.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Even after pulling off her elaborate plan and succeeding, Suzie returns home to find the money tree in her bedroom. And the doorbell rings, grandma is coming over for dinner. Her health now declining rapidly, she doesn’t know what to do and fears the worst, her life is ending.

Act 4:

New plan: Suzie brings the money tree to the living room and confesses to grandma. She is cut out of the will, with glee, by grandma.

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Suzie confronts grandma’s greedy ways and vows to not let herself be stopped, she will work hard and become a success in spite of grandma. Grandma laughs because she can see that Suzie is still sick from the money tree’s curse. Suzie’s mom questions grandma, this is news to her. While they argue, the demon begins to manifest itself. Grandma sees it and leaves. She sits on the porch bench reading a book, waiting for the demon to kill the family. Suzie and her mom battle the demon and kill it, thereby killing the money tree. Grandma returns to see it withering and curses. She’s poor now.

Resolution: Suzie bumps up her grades/SAT scores, applies to a specific program at a better college, and lands a scholarship. Grandma’s health fails her as she’s lost joy in life, and is all alone, no one visits her anymore.

[Francine Miranda]

Francine’s Subtext Plot

What I Learned: That I can elevate the intrigue I already had by applying a subtext plot to the story, which creates more layers and depth.

HORROR COMEDY: A grandma worships a demon to grow a money tree in her backyard and starts living the high life, only to have the tree stolen by her granddaughter!

SUBTEXT PLOT CHOICE: Major Cover Up & Superior Position

HOW IT PLAYS OUT:

The granddaughter steals the money tree and acts innocent, like she doesn’t know who stole it from grandma. Can she pull off the lie and still spend the money to better her life without grandma getting suspicious? What happens if grandma finds out? Does grandma already know? Is she plotting something to get the tree back?

Grandma knows there’s a demon inside the money tree but the granddaughter doesn’t. As she spends more of the money, will the granddaughter be able to pick up on the clues and realize the demon is targeting her and stealing her soul? Is grandma letting the demon destroy her granddaughter or is she oblivious that the granddaughter has the tree? Will grandma choose the granddaughter over the money tree & demon, or choose the money over the granddaughter’s life.

[Francine Miranda]

Francine’s Transformational Journey

What I Learned: is that a great transformational journey is what keeps an audience coming back to the movie again and again.

PROTAGONIST:

Suzie Melbourne is a rebellious granddaughter who discovers the money tree grandma’s been hiding and plots to steals it – she is trying to turn her life around but doesn’t have the cash to pay for college.

Arc Beginning: rebellious, wayward, and unemployed young woman, looking for direction in life

Arc Ending: mature, appreciative of what really matters in life, knows herself and what she actually wants

Internal Journey: from fear-driven and desperate to empowered and strategic – solving her own problems instead of taking the easy way out

External Journey: from a rebellious lazy grifter who’s fed up with her life to a bad-ass demon-slayer

Old Ways:

• Rebellious, breaks all the rules, often due to laziness
• Not driven, lacks direction in life
• Doesn’t follow through on her plans, gives up easily
• Looks for easy answers and to other people for solutions to her problems

New Ways:

• Empowered, solves her own problems, strategic
• Faces her fears, courageous
• Knows herself and what she wants, driven
• Evaluates, thinks things through

[Francine Miranda]

Francine’s Intentional Lead Characters

What I Learned: That my story better fits a Dramatic Triangle structure better than the Protagonist vs Antagonist structure I had chosen beforehand. I also decided to swap my protagonist and antagonist, making the granddaughter the protagonist because her character is turning out to be more interesting and grandma makes a better villain.

CONCEPT: HORROR COMEDY: A grandma worships a demon to grow a money tree in her backyard and starts living the high life, only to have the tree stolen by her granddaughter!

PROTAGONIST: Suzie Melbourne

• LOGLINE: The Protagonist is a rebellious granddaughter who discovers the money tree grandma’s been hiding and plots to steals it from grandma – she is trying to turn her life around but doesn’t have the cash to pay for college.
• UNIQUE: A granddaughter who is willing to steal from grandma, who is rebellious yet trying to better her life, and who is related to the antagonist (grandma). Her future is riding on being able to pull off this theft.

ANTAGONIST: Gloria Melbourne

• LOGLINE: The Antagonist is a greedy Grandma who secretly summons a demon to grow a money tree in her backyard because she can’t afford to retire in style.
• UNIQUE: a greedy grandma who wants a luxurious retirement, who also worships demons, and given that she is willing to go that far for money, will probably go far to get her money tree back.

TRIANGLE CHARACTER: Clauneck

• LOGLINE: The Triangle Character is a demon who curses the granddaughter cuz she stole the money tree, and is slowly trying to kill her and consume her soul.
• UNIQUE: a demon that can grow a money tree, who eats souls – showing the demon is not easy to control.

[Francine Miranda]

Francine’s Title, Concept, and Character Structure!

What I Learned: That character structure is an easy decision to make that will help guide the creation of the outline, that will help build an outline that engages audiences, and help reduce drafts by making this decision early on.

Title: THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL

Concept: HORROR COMEDY: A grandma worships a demon to grow a money tree in her backyard and starts living the high life, only to have the tree stolen by her granddaughter!

Character Structure: Protagonist versus Antagonist

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by  Francine Miranda. Reason: I don't want my vision stolen by other people, removing it
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by  Francine Miranda. Reason: I wanted to update the logline

[Francine Miranda]

Greetings!

I’m Francine and I’ve written 5 scripts and a pilot. Ok well the first script shouldn’t count, haha. So let’s say 4 scripts.

I took this class with the hopes of getting back on track with writing. I’ve been side tracked with work and life stuffs, and just really miss writing scripts.

Something unique about me is that I read Tarot cards for fun. I won’t claim to be psychic but sometimes the readings can be spot on – spooky!

Happy to meet everyone, wish you all the best of luck and all the success!

[Francine Miranda]

I, Francine Miranda, agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Francine Miranda]

Francine’s Marketing Plan

What I learned doing this assignment is a lot of useful information from first hand experience of Stark on how he started his writing assignments business. That I need to be able to write to someone else’s vision, and be open to any kind of assignment that will help build my credibility, regardless of pricing.

1. Write your email request for writing assignments in your own words.

Subject line: About your next (genre).

Subject line: About (movie title the producer did)

Hi (producer name),

I just checked out your film (title of genre film) and loved it. I also write (genre) movies as my specialty.

I thought I’d drop you a line that I’m available to do writing assignments, such as rewriting a script, writing a book adaptation, or writing one your script ideas. If you’d like to see a writing sample, let me know and I’d be happy to forward it.

(Credibility Here: contest wins, optioned, produced, done writing assignments, etc.)

Keep in touch if you need any help on your projects.

Name

Phone

Email

LinkedIn Profile

.

2. Create a plan for marketing yourself. Give us the first three things you are going to do when you are ready to start marketing.

• #1. Find more horror and thriller producers through IMDb and LinkedIn.
• #2. Get a recommend on my horror script once it’s ready.
• #3. Market horror script once I’m finished rewriting and elevating it, and hopefully got a recommend on it.

[Francine Miranda]

Francine’s Plan for Increasing Perceived Value

What I learned doing this assignment is the importance that perceived value and credibility has on pricing, and to not worry about pricing when starting out.

PLAN TO INCREASE MY PERCEIVED VALUE WITH PRODUCERS

1. Specialty: Horror genre. I’ve written one high concept horror script, that I’m still in the rewrites phase with. A horror treatment I wrote for a contest made it to the runners up list. I still need to build more expertise in this.

2. How many producers do you have in your LinkedIn Network? 673 producers

3. Tell us your plan for increasing your value in these three time frames:

A. Today / This week

• Elevate the horror treatment I developed during this class

B. In the next 30 days

• Elevate my horror writing sample to demonstrate my specialty and skills better.

C. In the next 6 months

• Increase expertise in the horror genre.
• Connect with more horror producers, especially within Canada
• Pitch projects to try to gain experience working with producers and land a deal

[Francine Miranda]

Francine is a Note Taking Professional!

What I learned is how many cool ideas can come out of these changes. Really enjoyed brainstorming this. Even if it’s not the story I originally wanted to tell, I can see some stronger ideas coming through when I brainstormed the different options below.

LOGLINE: After the suspicious death of her youngest child, a mother installs a two-way mirror in her home to keep an eye on her surviving son. When her husband and son act strange, she suspects one of them is possessed and may have killed her youngest child – she calls in an exorcist, will she find out the truth and save her family?

Cut the budget in half.

• My budget range is about $1-5M because of the stunts, child actor, and CGI effects. But I can reduce this budget by reducing the CGI scenes (maybe eliminate all of them except the one in the climax), keeping the page count to 90 pages max. Remove the son character. Change the ending so there’s no fight sequence or horror make-up for the deaths. Reduce the characters so that it’s just the protagonist, husband, and exorcist.

Write it for a different audience (quadrant).

• Currently it’s for females over 25 and horror fans. To change the audience to males over 25, I would tell the story from the perspective of the father, and him having to deal with his wife and her spying helicopter parenting that turns into paranoia when she wrongly accuses her son of being possessed.

Double the conflict.

• The demon is brainwashing the son to kill the neighbour’s daughter.
• The father is planning to take his son away, but the mother thinks the demon is brainwashing the child to kill the father.
• The grandmother is the one who is possessed and is going to sacrifice the son to the demon.
• The two-way mirror cracks, creating a vortex sucking everyone in or it unleashes more demons.

Change the sex and age of the lead character.

• Changing the protagonist to male, aged 19, and have the story go like this: he loses his parents in a freak accident and is left to take care of his younger brother all by himself, rather than let him go into the foster system. He sells his parents house to downsize and earn some money. In the new house is a two-way mirror. He minds his brother using the two-way mirror while he does his school work (college classes), and realizes his brother is acting strange ever since moving in. The older brother realizes the younger is possessed and must find a way to save his brother before the demon fully takes over and kills someone.

Change the genre.

• This could be changed into a drama very easily and have the story revolve around the different ways the wife and husband deal with the loss of the youngest child, and how to still be a good parent to the surviving child, and find a way not to drift apart in their marriage.
• The original concept was a thriller, with the wife spying on the husband and learning he’s a terrorist that’s going to bomb a school – and she must spy on him for the police to find out who he’s working with.

[Francine Miranda]

Francine’s Decreased Budget

What I learned doing this assignment is how to brainstorm effective ways to reduce the budget in my script.

.

WAYS TO DECREASE THE BUDGET:

#1. Change an expensive location/special set: The majority of the film takes place in a big hospital. It may be expensive to shoot in a real hospital, so most likely this will have to be a custom-built set which will drive up the costs. Instead, I can change this to a field hospital for the whole movie, that maybe is located in a warehouse, school gym, field tent in a parking lot, or other easily accessible and affordable locations.

#2. Reduce the amount of minor characters: In the script I have several minor characters of whom the doctors are treating and/or interviewing. I can reduce the number of patients, and thereby reduce the budget. Maybe have them revisit the same patients instead of going to new ones.

#3. Special effects reduction: Reduce the amount of visions (and war scenes) that are shown on screen, or eliminate them altogether to reduce the budget.

#4. Cut 15 pages from the script.

#5. Reduce or eliminate crowd scenes – instead make the script more contained, and have the threat be to the main cast and through infection.

#6. Take out the fight scene between the protagonist and the zombie.

#7. Eliminate the few kids that are in the movie, and instead use another characteristic for the special group that can see visions. Maybe cancer survivors, or people with schizophrenia.

#8. Reducing the crowd scenes (of zombies) will also reduce the make-up costs.

#9. Remove the gun in the climax scene, or use a fake that doesn’t need to be fired.

.

With a major scene that depends upon a “high budget variable,” take it through the process of finding another way to deliver on the dramatic goal.

1. Tell us about the high budget item in your script that you are letting go of.

– The climax involves a fight scene, a gun, and special effects.

2. Ask, “What is the dramatic goal am I trying to accomplish with this scene?”

– It is to create high stakes, tension, suspense, mystery, and uncertainty about whether the protagonist will survive.

3. Ask, “How can I accomplish the dramatic goal without the expense?”

– Make the gun a fake, and remove any action that involves shooting the gun.

– Change the fight scene to a stand-off, where the protagonist uses leverage – such as the antiviral, or infecting Tim and threatening to damage the antiviral if he doesn’t let her leave alive.

– Reduce the amount of visions, and use less CGI and creative editing to get the same message across.

[Francine Miranda]

Francine’s Rewrite of James’ Treatment

What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s different when there is a treatment written versus a concept that’s undeveloped, but the core strategy remains the same, collaborate and clarify.

Give a report of what your experience was like

– Being the producer: it’s good to know your story well beforehand, and answering the writer’s questions helped make clear the vision for the story.

– Being the writer: it was different getting into the mindset of not giving feedback, but it helped me gain practice for when I do producer calls in the future.

– Writing the treatment: It’s different working on someone else’s story and rewriting it, I took the story in a completely different direction, to try to meet the marketing decisions that the producer wanted. And also, knowing this is just one version and will be changed based on what the producer needs next.

I’ve rewritten the treatment to fulfill the crime thriller requirements of villain’s plan and escalating threatening situations, and also to focus on the target audience of women 18-25.

ACT 1:

Two young women in their 20’s chat up an older male patron in a swanky bar in the Big Apple. As they chat, it becomes clear they met on an online dating app to arrange this meeting. The three leave together and end up in a hotel room. They tie up the man, pretending it’s foreplay but he doesn’t know what’s in store for him. A knock on the door. They let in another woman, SANDY, who is well-dressed and professional looking. She appears to be the one in charge, brings supplies. The women put on plastic suits to protect their clothes – they have messy work ahead. Together, they brutally torture and murder the man and carve the letter “V” into his chest.

At the police station, DETECTIVE BROCK closes a case. He chats with his cop buddies about his impending retirement, and they praise him because he’ll be retiring with high honours – the best record in the state. A young trainee, BART, asks him what’s next. Brock says he’s already busy setting up his next career move as a politician. He gets a call to take on a new case, a murder in a downtown hotel room. Hoping for a simple open and shut case …

He arrives at the crime scene to find a mutilated corpse with a V carved into the chest.

He’s informed by another investigator at the scene that there’s no prints, no evidence so far. An efficient, clean, well-organized assassination of their target. No witnesses either. Brock decides to check out the victim’s home. Alone, he inspects the house when a masked man bursts from the other room and attacks. He is almost killed by the intruder who fights him and steals a laptop before escaping.

At the station, Detective Brock discovers the victim was the head of a child sex trafficking ring that his colleagues were working on taking down. One case closed as a new one opens, who killed this man?

Brock heads home, angry that the simple case turned out to be more complex, and immediately gets into a shouting match with his WIFE. He leaves and heads to a woman’s apartment, his MISTRESS.

The three women from the opening scene lounge around a very sleek and upscale apartment with high-tech equipment that’s used to hack and search for their next targets. On a large white board are names and pictures of possible targets. They banter about their operations, not giving a complete picture of their motives, and have a little disagreement about their next target. Fear plays a role. TANDY, the brains of the operation, doesn’t want to go too big, the more high-profile or powerful the target, the more in danger they will be from retaliation and police interest in finding them. MANDY, the brawn of the operation, says they should be bold, the more outrageous they go, the more intimidated the police will be. Sandy, their unspoken leader, takes charge and decides on a compromise, a target that is not too high profile, but still on their mission – a trainee cop named Bart.

Detective Brock stands in a parking lot staring into the car of the latest victim, his colleague Bart. He has a V carved into his chest and wounds all over his body from torture. A picture of a girl with a name written on it was left behind at the crime scene. Filled with anger, a fire is lit in Brock, he vows to find and stop the killers and avenge his friend.

ACT 2:

At the station, rumours start to spread about Bart being linked to a crime from a couple years ago, a murder of a young girl at college. Brock looks into this, researching the name on the photo that was found next to Bart’s body. The young girl in the photo was found murdered in her dorm room, strangled. Wanting to disprove the rumours, Brock runs a DNA test against the evidence from the college girl’s crime scene, but is horrified to find out it’s a match.

Bart killed the young girl. Brock realizes he was wrong about Bart, and realizes this could be a revenge killing. He feels conflicted, understanding why the killers did what they did, but it doesn’t stop him from his job, everyone must still follow the law.

The media dub the killers as the V Women, after witnesses place the first victim in a bar last seen leaving with two women. The media attention makes the POLICE CHIEF insist that Brock solve the case fast because he’s getting pressure from the Mayor. He doesn’t want to cause a panic if this case drags on and the last thing the Mayor needs is a serial killer in town before an election.

After spending late nights at the office, Brock’s wife is angry and brings up that Brock forgot about their anniversary. She accuses him of having an affair. He gets mad, claims he’s been working, and leaves the house in a fury to go meetup with his mistress.

After seeing the news coverage, the V Women are pleased to gain a reputation. Hoping to strike fear in evil men’s hearts. The V Women are pleased that Bart is gone, thinking he could’ve hurt more women if given the power and authority that comes with being a police officer. From the news report, they find out the name of the detective who’s been assigned to their case and start digging into his life – hacking him to see if he’s clean. They find out he’s having an affair. But they also find out he’s the best detective in the state.

The V women have a disagreement about what to do about Brock. Now that the V Women are on the news and a media sensation, the pressure is mounting to catch them. They need to go on the offensive, but how? Brock isn’t a villain, he doesn’t qualify to be their target and murdered. So, they decide to infiltrate – one of them decides to meet his wife.

Tandy shows up at Brock’s house while he’s out with the mistress. She pretends to be a new neighbour and has a warm chat with Brock’s wife. They exchange stories about their awful husbands, as Tandy finds out more information from her about Brock.

Brock discovers a clue, a pattern in the locations where the victims were last seen alive. The bars are both in one neighbourhood. He stakes out another bar in that neighbourhood that he thinks the V Women could hit next. Sandy walks into the bar and after a few minutes spots Brock. She calls the team, covertly asks if she should go after Brock, they argue and decide they’re not prepared, too risky. Instead, Sandy quickly reschedules the meetup with her next victim on the dating app, changing the location to a nearby bowling alley. The V Women capture and kill the next victim and Brock finds the dead body the next day, with a V carved into the chest.

Brock gets hell from the Police Chief after the third victim is found. Intent on getting this case closed, Brock scans the footage of the bar he was staking out and sees one of the V Women. Identifying her because she looks exactly like one of the women that the first victim was last seen leaving the bar with. He realizes he was on the right track. He also spots the third victim sitting at the bar. The video footage shows the victim getting a message on his phone shortly after the V Woman leaves the bar. The victim leaves shortly after.

Brock, feeling confident about almost catching the V Women, gets word from his partner that the third victim isn’t clean – he has a record of sexual assault accusations but nothing stuck, so he was never charged. Brock interviews the alleged sexual assault victims and from their testimony realizes that the guy was guilty. One of the victims, who doesn’t wish anyone harm, is still glad the man is dead and can no longer hurt anymore women. Brock feels torn about catching the V Women.

The V Women argue about going after the police chief. Sandy wants to go after him, full force. Tandy thinks it’s too dangerous. Sandy is torn. They do a vote, and Sandy is the tie breaker. She votes “no” on going after the police chief and decides to continue their plan to go after Brock.

The V Women ask Brock’s wife to help them take down Brock, and she happily agrees.

The V women set up a sting, they leave behind clues by kidnapping someone who’s low on their hit list (no serious crimes, just intimidation) and scare the shit outta him and then let him go, leaving behind a clue that will lead Brock into the V Women’s trap.

This fourth victim who has just survived an attack from the V Women comes into the police station and gives his report to Brock. The Police Chief has had enough with the V Women. He institutes a curfew despite Brock saying this will cause a city-wide panic and impede his investigation. Police cruisers roam the streets after 7pm, stopping and questioning everyone who’s outside.

As Brock finds the evidence that the V Women left behind, it leads him to a location. Right before leaves for this location where the V Women are waiting for him, he gets a visit from his wife. She says she wants to apologize to him. During the meeting, she covertly removes all the bullets from his gun.

Brock finds the location and is jumped by the V Women. He pulls his gun, but it has no bullets. He realizes his wife betrayed him. He is taken down by Mandy and handcuffed. Then blindfolded and tied up.

They toss him into their car and take him to an isolated location.

ACT 3

The V Women torture Brock and tell him to stop hunting them. They know he’s cheating on his wife and will release this info so he will never be able to run for office. But if he agrees to stop hunting them, they’ll let him go and won’t say a word. He agrees saying it’s not worth it, besides they are cleaning up the streets. The V Women wonder whether they can trust him. That was too easy. Mandy breaks away from Sandy’s plan and says if he’s willing to do that is he willing to help them take down the Police Chief in a way that doesn’t look like murder. He’s unsure, it’s one thing to stop looking for the V Women, another to be an accessory to murder.

Sandy reveals why they want the Police Chief dead. They reveal the Police Chief is on the take from criminal enterprises. Specifically snuggling up to human traffickers and drug lords. He has no moral conscious, just wants the big bank account. The three women had a friend in college who was kidnapped and found dead – raped and murdered. The case was mishandled, like many sexual assault cases and missing persons reports of young women. They’ve checked the stats and this precinct is suspiciously bad at catching perpetrators who attack and victimize women. Brock doesn’t believe them. He has known the Police Chief for over ten years and thinks he is straight. While they argue, Brock’s partner shows up having traced Brock’s phone to find them. He almost kills one of the V Women as they battle. Brock manages to break free and fights the V Women, instinctually just trying to survive. The V Women fight them off and manage to escape.

When Brock returns to the Police Station, he’s grilled by the Police Chief, who is furious that they haven’t caught the V Women when they were in their sights. The Police Chief gives an ultimatum, either Brock finds them in the next week or he’s fired, losing his retirement and reputation. This seems over the top and Brock begins to get suspicious of the Chief.

The V Women are now committed to going after the Police Chief in order to protect themselves. They are willing to give up their lives. Whatever happens, even if they’re caught, once they kill the Chief they have at least taken out a major chess piece and made the city safer.

Brock has the identities of the V Women on his computer screen. He closes the window and instead does research into the Police Chief. He discovers that what the V Women said is true. He thinks back to one of the victims he interviewed earlier – how many women could have been saved if it weren’t for the Chief obstructing justice and letting guilty men go free. He closes the case against the V Women by planting evidence on two Jane Doe’s and claiming the V Women are dead.

The V Women spy on Brock, not sure if he’ll turn on them. Brock asks his wife to get in touch with the V Women to arrange a meeting. He makes a deal, agreeing to help them.

Brock asks the Police Chief to meet him to celebrate the end of the V Women. He gets the Chief drunk, who then confesses to a lot of shady shit. The V Women arrive. Secret bodyguards for the Police Chief show up and the V Women must fight and kill them. They succeed, injured but not seriously wounded. They take the chief to a hotel room and kill him, making it look like an accidental drug overdose – mixing the wrong medications.

On the news, a reporter tells of the sudden death of the Police Chief. Brock packs up his desk at work, now retired. His wife moves out and his mistress moves on. He puts on a tie and does a campaign speech to a live broadcast, saying he wants to make the city a safer place.

In his home, the detective’s partner watches Brock on the news incredulously, with the case of the V Women on his lap, still open, still being investigated. As the V Women watch him with binoculars from outside his house.

[Francine Miranda]

Francine’s Fantastic Treatment

What I learned doing this assignment is how to write an effective treatment.

Title: TWO-WAY MIRROR (working title)

Genre: Horror

Logline: After the tragic death of her youngest child, a mother installs a two-way mirror in her home to keep an eye on her surviving child. When spooky things happen around the house, and her husband and child act strangely when she spies on them, she wonders if one of them is possessed and had a hand in the death of her youngest child. She calls in an exorcist, can he save the family?

Structure: 3-Act Structure

Act 1

Jenny and Oscar box up small children’s clothes, carrying the boxes to the attic. They have just lost their youngest child, Billy, who was only two years old when he passed. Jenny’s mother brings the couple food, and helps her daughter with packing. Oscar is overwhelmed, he leaves, says he’s going for a swim to clear his head. That’s when Jenny realizes, where’s Jack?

Jenny sees her surviving son, Jack, standing by the pool all alone. He’s seven years old but hasn’t learned how to swim yet. He teeters over the edge of the pool to grab a toy that’s fallen in the water and is floating near the edge of the pool. Jenny yells to Oscar to forget his swimsuit and go to the pool right now, and stop Jack from falling in.

Oscar runs down and grabs Jack, gives him a stern talk about not going near the pool when alone. Within a week, Jenny hires a contract to install a protective pool cover. She looks around the house and starts to notice hazards everywhere. She installs a two-way mirror on the wall between her son’s room and her office, to keep an eye on him while she works at her desk.

Act 2

Jenny works and watches her son play. She starts to notice things happening in the house – flickering lights, cold spots, etc. Then she hears her son talking to someone, but there is no one else in the room. She brings this up to her husband who is uncomfortable with the two-way mirror, says it’s creepy and could be why she’s acting paranoid. She dismisses him, and asks her son about who he talks to. He said he’s not allowed to say, or “he’ll get mad.”

Jenny has a play party, inviting the neighbours over and they bring their two-year-old daughter Katie. She plays with Jack. Jenny privately brings up the incident with Jack to Oscar who dismisses it immediately as an imaginary friend. He leaves the party early for a “work call.” Determined to find an answer, Jenny seeks counsel with her mother – a very religious woman. Jenny and her mother watch Jack play with his toys through the two-way mirror. Nothing suspicious happens. Then in the kitchen the lights flicker and they find awful smelling yellow powder by the kids snack cupboard – sulfur. Jenny’s mother says she needs to consult her priest.

Standing in front of the two-way mirror, for days Jenny watches like a hawk as her son plays and talks to his imaginary friend. One day, Jack turns to the mirror and smiles, as if he can see his mother watching him. She turns away. She decides to grab coffee. In the kitchen, she finds her husband pilfering junk food from the kids snack cupboard. She reprimands him, then realizes, could he be the one who’s possessed?

It’s the weekend and Halloween is coming, so Oscar and Jack create Jack-O-Lanterns to decorate his classroom at school. Jenny watches from behind the two-way mirror trying to figure out who’s the possessed one. She sees a dark shadow pass behind them, rubs her eyes, not sure what she saw. Then sees in the corner one of Billy’s boxes from the attic ripped open, the toys arranged on the bed. Furious, she is about to go in and then sees both Oscar and Jack take the toys and arrange some of them to be in the Jack-O-Lanterns – how could they be so heartless? She storms in and talks to her husband, who acts eerily cool. Jack watches with a creepy calmness, not scared of getting in trouble. Did they have something to do with the untimely death of her youngest child?

Freaked out, Jenny seeks counsel from her mother – tells her everything. Her mother says it’s impossible, Oscar would never harm Billy, and Jack is too young to think such evil thoughts. Jenny is not convinced. The next weekend, she is invited to the neighbour’s house and watches Jack play with Katie. They are innocently playing, but Jack acts a little strange. Jenny notices her husband smirking at the kids playing. She isn’t sure what to make of it, but doesn’t want anyone else to get hurt. She decides to take drastic action and calls an exorcist.

Act 3

The priest arrives with a leather bag and large cross. Jenny almost wished he wore a hat to complete the look. She leads him upstairs quietly and into the office. They watch Jack play through the two-way mirror. The priest starts to panic, and looks to Jenny, not understanding her calmness. He is seeing things in the mirror that she can’t see. He goes hysterical, describing the child doing awful things and hiding weapons under the bed. The exorcist begins to hear voices and claws at his ears. Hysterical he jumps out of the window and hits the ground, dead. Jenny looks through the two-way mirror, sees Jack staring at the window after hearing the noise. He laughs, shakes his head and goes back to playing.

The police leave after investigating and professional cleaners return the backyard to its former state. Jenny serves a special dinner to celebrate getting their house back after several days of police investigation. Jenny watches as both Oscar and Jack get drowsy and pass out. They wake up in Jack’s room, tied up. Jenny tries an exorcism on them to figure out which one is possessed. Jack cries. Oscar is furious. After tensions rise, the doorbell rings. Jenny answers to find the new exorcist she called in.

In Jack’s room, the exorcist starts his process and Jenny throws holy water on a rageful Oscar and tearful Jack. She glances at the mirror after seeing a shadow. The images in the mirror show a demon morphing out of Oscar’s image and standing up. It smirks and escapes the mirror. Both Oscar and Jack scream horrified. They both are clearly not possessed. The priest shifts his attention, continuing the exorcism on the new target. The demon throws the priest against the wall and goes after Oscar who’s helpless and tied to the bed. Jack squeezes his eyes shut the whole time as Oscar is murdered. In shock, Jenny takes the bible and continues trying the exorcism, in tears. The demon turns to Jack. Jenny sees this and runs to her son to protect him. But doesn’t make it in time. However, the Priest manages to get in the demon’s path and is murdered. Jack quickly meets his fate next as Jenny tries to stop the demon by attacking it with the large cross. It turns to her next, as she collapses to the ground, having lost everything. It smirks.

Months later. The house is packed and put on sale by Jenny’s mother. She says a prayer to herself for her deceased daughter and grandsons, then leaves. The house is sold to an expectant mother who looks forward to minding her five-year-old child though the two-way mirror while working in her office.

[Francine Miranda]

Francine’s Producer Interview Experience

What I learned doing this assignment is that communicating a script idea involves a dialogue and can be fun, new ideas can spring up that help elevate the story.

Being the writer and getting into the frame of mind to not give feedback but instead try to understand the vision of the producer is actually quite eye-opening – I realized that instead of critiquing, I actually learned a lot more by asking questions and learning about how the producer thinks about their script idea, and how they developed it, and the depth behind the decisions they have made for the story.

Being the producer, I realized that it’s very helpful to have cooperative writers who want to understand your vision. When doing writing assignments with producers, this assignment helped me know that they themselves are still working out the idea too, and don’t have all the answers.

[Francine Miranda]

Francine’s Synopsis for Producer Interview

Title: TWO-WAY MIRROR

Genre: Thriller

Logline: When a husband lies about what he works on in his home office, a housewife installs a two-way mirror, finds out he’s planning to carry out a bombing, but when he discovers she’s been spying, he disappears. They must find him and stop him before he carries out his plan.

Synopsis:

Jenny sends her kids to live with her mother for the summer, then secretly visits a divorce attorney. She wants a fast divorce, before the summer ends – eludes that she doesn’t feel safe. He suggests she gather evidence to support her case for a quick divorce – meaning she needs to prove there’s been foul play or threat of danger. At home, when her husband Kevin leaves for a business trip, she installs a two-way mirror by replacing the mirror that’s already in his office.

After watching him for some time, she realizes he’s building a bomb. She turns Kevin into the police, who ask her to continue spying to feed them info about a possible terrorist cell. She warns them Kevin could be violent. They assure her that they are tracking his every move and he won’t be able to hurt her without them knowing, and won’t be able to bomb anyone either. If he tries, they’ll nab him. So, the wife begins to spy on him. She does this for weeks without getting caught, with some close calls. Kevin finally figures out she’s spying on him and disappears that night. The police can’t even detect where he went. Jenny warns her mom and tells her and her kids to go into hiding until they find Kevin and arrest him.

The police search the husband’s office and find out he’s going to bomb the school where politicians’ children attend in 3.5 hours. Jenny thinks her husband was lying about the timing of the bombing, he’d never do something like this without saying goodbye to his beloved sister – who lives two hours away. They don’t believe her and set up a plan to catch Kevin at the school.

Jenny’s kids call, they want their mommy. Jenny wants this done. Frustrated with the police, she sneaks off, taking one of Kevin’s guns. She turns out to be correct and finds him at the sister’s house. It turns out he set up the bomb already and has a remote trigger on his phone. Jenny battles with him to get his phone away and succeeds. But he has a backup plan, a second suicide bomber. She calls the police who don’t answer. The police just barely catch the second suicide bomber. When the husband sees the bomb doesn’t go off, he tries to run. Jenny and his sister manage to knock him out, just as the police arrive. They arrest him and take him away. Jenny is reunited with her kids, divorced quickly settled, full custody won. She’s free.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by  Francine Miranda.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by  Francine Miranda.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by  Francine Miranda.

[Francine Miranda]

Francine’s Horror Writing Sample Plan

What I learned doing this assignment is a simple yet effective process on how to create and elevate a writing sample.

10-PAGE SAMPLE:

This scene is at the beginning of Act 2. A virus has spread throughout a city causing hallucinations and violent madness. Two scientists, Juno and Brooke, have the impossible mission of trying to stop the virus. Time is running out as the infected grow numerous and more violent.

INT. HOSPITAL IMAGING ROOM – DAY

Dr. RION, 50’s female, sits at a long desk with a bank of four monitors. Brooke is beside her. They study four different CT brain scans.

DR. RION

The weird part is, these are completely healthy brain scans. No anomalies.

BROOKE

Then what’s triggering the hallucinations? It’s not in the brain?

DR. RION

The patients are otherwise healthy. It’s really odd, the virus doesn’t harm the body at all. It’s just the madness that kills people.

BROOKE

If normal drugs for hallucinations aren’t working then what? How do we stop the crazy if we can’t stop the hallucinations?

DR. RION

That’s the question.

INT. MIRESTON LAB – JUNO’S OFFICE – DAY

Juno works on her laptop. RING! Her cell shows it’s Brooke. Answers.

JUNO

Didn’t Tim tell you to stop calling me?

BROOKE (O.S.)

Yeah, twice. Look, I need your help. I’ve found something you need to see.

JUNO

Like what? Because every minute I waste talking with you, I could be making a breakthrough.

BROOKE (O.S.)

It’s about the virus. It’ll help with your antiviral research.

JUNO

Why would I believe you?

BROOKE (O.S.)

I wanna stop this virus just as bad as you do. This could be the breakthrough you need. Can you come?

JUNO

What kind of breakthrough?

INT. HOSPITAL – EXAM ROOM – DAY

Juno and Brooke stare at the monitors showing the CT scans. Juno wears a mask and gloves. Leans in close, rotating the brain scan model with her mouse.

JUNO

This is insane. The Pineal Gland, there’s a 15 percent enlargement in five days.

She points to the brightly lit parts on the image.

JUNO (CONT’D)

There’s also a lot more activity.

BROOKE

So what does it mean? Like, in terms of real science.

Juno spots the stack of patient files on the desk.

JUNO

Are these the same patients?

BROOKE

Yeah, in alphabetical order.

Juno pulls the stack close, opens the top file, skims it. Brooke pulls the stack away from her.

BROOKE (CONT’D)

What is it? You’ve got some theory, I practically see gears spinning in your head. Tell me.

JUNO

I don’t need to tell you anything.

She tries to grab the files back.

BROOKE

If you’re not going to help, you might as well go. I don’t have time for games. People are dying.

She pulls the files back, away from Juno. It’s a tug-o-war.

JUNO

This is my area, my research for the last five years. You have time for me.

BROOKE

Then tell me what it means, Dr. Salk.

JUNO

Only if you keep an open mind, for once.

BROOKE

(sarcastic)

Yeah OK.

JUNO

The hallucinations are probably visions of the future. This is the second link of the virus to my ESP research. It’s all connected.

BROOKE

Ugh. And we’re back to crazy town.

Brooke grabs the stack of files and heads for the door. Juno follows and blocks her path.

BROOKE (CONT’D)

This was clearly a waste of time.

JUNO

Look, I can prove it. I can prove they are seeing the future.

Brooke scoffs. Juno grabs the top patient files and takes off down the hall.

INT. HOSPITAL – HALLWAY – DAY

Brooke storms after Juno, catching up.

BROOKE

What are you doing? I need those.

She tries to grab the files from Juno.

JUNO

Well there are more useful to me than you. You’re just fumbling in the dark, admit it.

BROOKE

I admit nothing.

She grabs at the files again.

BROOKE (CONT’D)

Give it back.

JUNO

Hey, at least I have a theory. What’s your ground-breaking hypothesis?

BROOKE

Ugh, I get that you’re mad, but you’re being a child!

JUNO

And you’re so stubborn you’d rather be wrong than admit you’re wrong.

BROOKE

I’m not wrong!

JUNO

See!

Brooke’s phone rings.

BROOKE

Dammit! Don’t move.

She pulls her cell from her pocket, sees it’s her husband, Tomas. Answers.

BROOKE (CONT’D)

Hey luv, what’s up?

TOMAS

Hey hun, do you know where the trampoline is?

BROOKE

Hmm, knowing my dad, it’s probably in the attic. He borrowed it, remember?

TOMAS

Oh… so it’s at his house?

BROOKE

Which is good, right? Because you’re there.

TOMAS

Actually…

Brooke turns around, facing away from Juno, her face serious. Juno eavesdrops.

TOMAS (CONT’D)

We didn’t make it out of the city before the lockdown. The kids wanted to visit their friends before we left. It ended up taking the whole day.

BROOKE

What?!

No no no, tell me you’re kidding.

TOMAS

It’s alright. We’re safe at home. Don’t worry, you just concentrate on your work and we’ll see each other when this is over.

BROOKE

Okay… Just be safe, promise?

TOMAS

We will, I promise. Love you.

BROOKE

Love you too.

Brooke ends the call, but is frozen, helpless. Juno approaches.

JUNO

Trouble at home?

BROOKE

Do you have family in the city?

Juno is taken aback.

JUNO

Well, you know I’m an orphan. So no, I don’t have any family.

BROOKE

Right, sorry I forgot.

JUNO

Just, don’t worry about it. We should get back to work.

She takes off down the hall before Brooke can reply. Brooke follows, silent.

INT. HOSPITAL – PATIENT ROOM B – DAY

A WILD-EYED PATIENT, 30’s female, is restrained to a hospital bed. Calm, she stares at the wall. Juno and Brooke pull on their masks and step closer.

BROOKE

We should pick someone else.

JUNO

No, I got this.

She has the medical file in hand. Raises her voice.

JUNO (CONT’D)

Ms.? We wanted to ask you some questions about your hallucinations.

Treading closer to the patient, Juno tries to make eye-contact.

JUNO (CONT’D)

It’s just routine. If we could get your attention for a minute or two.

Juno waits. The Wild-Eyed Patient cringes, bracing for a loud noise that doesn’t seem to exist.

BROOKE

(whispers)

This is pointless.

Juno continues, raising her voice louder.

JUNO

Ms. Singh? Can you describe the visions you’ve seen?

She inches closer. Ms. Singh locks eyes with her.

MS. SINGH

Death. Everywhere.

Juno takes notes. Brooke raises her eyebrow.

MS. SINGH (CONT’D)

The people are still, dead, filling the ground. The standing dead are everywhere. A mushroom burns the sky.

INT. HOSPITAL – HALLWAY – DAY

Brooke and Juno exit the room.

BROOKE

Well that was “enlightening.” Sounds like she was describing an art house film.

Juno hands her the patient file and opens the next one.

JUNO

One patient doesn’t prove anything.

INT. HOSPITAL – PATIENT ROOM C – DAY

Brooke and Juno stand at the foot of ELDERLY PATIENT’S bed, 80’s male. Juno opens her notebook.

ELDERLY PATIENT

There were barricades. Lockdowns. How everyone had a gun, I have no idea. Nothing makes sense. So much violence.

Brooke rolls her eyes, then grabs a seat. She glances at her watch. Juno writes notes when suddenly the patient screams wildly, startling her. A Nurse hurries in and injects the patient with a sedative. Elderly Patient passes out. Juno sighs. Brooke smirks at her.

BROOKE

Don’t worry, they were probably just war flashbacks.

Juno frowns.

INT. HOSPITAL – HALLWAY – DAY

Juno and Brooke leave the room. Juno hands Brooke the patient file and opens the next one.

INT. HOSPITAL – PATIENT ROOM D – DAY

Brooke sits nearby, yawning. Juno scribbles notes as a SOCCER MOM, 40’s, yammers away in her hospital bed. She has restraints on her wrists.

SOCCER MOM

There was a lot of fire. You know I’ve never experienced anything like this. And I’ve done, you know… acid. It was my, very short, rebellious phase. Did a lot of confession after that.

JUNO

Could we just focus on the visions?

SOCCER MOM

Oh sure! I mean there was a lot of, I don’t how else to describe it, but pain. It’s like you could feel the heat of the fire, the pain of the wounded people. It felt like Hell. I mean, I’m a devout woman so I know I’m not going down there. But, there were a lot of people, you know, in need of re-pen-tance.

Brooke gets up.

BROOKE

I’m gonna go get a coffee.

JUNO

Giving up already?

SOCCER MOM

As I was saying–

Juno interrupts her to speak to Brooke.

JUNO

Hey, get me one too.

BROOKE

Two milks, one sugar.

Juno nods as Brooke strides out of the room.

SOCCER MOM

Hey, my voice is feeling a little weak, can you come closer?

Juno inches closer.

SOCCER MOM (CONT’D)

(low whispers)

Have you read Dante’s Inferno?

Juno leans in to hear.

SOCCER MOM (CONT’D)

What’s the worst pain you’ve ever experienced?

Juno locks eyes with Soccer Mom. Without warning, she lashes out at Juno, who jumps back, terrified. Soccer Mom is held back by her restraints as she yells

SOCCER MOM (CONT’D)

You liar! You Jezebel! You worthless sinner! How dare you! How dare you ask me for anything!

INT. HOSPITAL – HALLWAY – DAY

Brooke sips her coffee, listening to the screaming from inside the room, grins and shakes her head.

INT. HOSPITAL – PATIENT ROOM D – DAY

Soccer Mom thrashes against the restraints. Juno presses herself against the wall to stay out of reach, trapped. She grips her notebook and patient files tight to her chest.

Soccer Mom unleashes a scream like she’s dying, holding onto her head. Juno sees an opportunity and makes a break for the door. Soccer Mom thrashes hard, tearing one of the restraints and grabs Juno’s sleeve, screaming wildly.

SOCCER MOM (CONT’D)

You will get what you deserve!

Juno breaks free, stumbles to the ground dropping the patient files and notebook. She stares at Soccer Mom in disbelief, the other restraint starts to tear. Juno gets up and runs for the door, not looking back.

INT. HOSPITAL – HALLWAY – DAY

Brooke sips her coffee and holds an extra cup. Juno hurries out of the patient room. Straightens her hair, but is still shaken. Brooke hands her the extra coffee.

BROOKE

Sounds like it went well.

JUNO

(voice shaken)

It did… three patients are all seeing the same thing, kinda.

BROOKE

Guess I’m back to the drawing board on this.

JUNO

It… It could be a pattern.

BROOKE

Or I could run MRI’s, or maybe it’s auto-immune.

JUNO

It could be they’re all seeing different parts of the future–

BROOKE

You’re making assumptions to justify your theory. You know that’s not how science works.

Brooke walks away.

JUNO

Well I know that!

Wait!

Juno jogs after her, then stops, remembering something. Goes back to the patient room and peeks through the window on the door. Spots her patient files and notebook laying scattered on the floor. Takes a deep breath in, and turns the door handle.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by  Francine Miranda.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by  Francine Miranda.

[Francine Miranda]

Francine’s Key Business Decisions

What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of considering the business decisions and how designing a script to include them increases the chances of getting the movie made and successfully working with producers.

Key Business Decisions:

• Genre: Horror Thriller

• Title: FRIGHTFUL FUTURE

• Concept: A contagious virus causes people to see the future, which drives them insane because of the future they see. Can a scientist find a cure and prevent that horrible future, before she becomes infected too?

• Audience: Women 25+, zombie horror fans

• Budget: $5-10M

• Lead Characters:

• The protagonist, Juno, is a unique role for a female actress, she gets to be radical, selfish, stubborn, independent, and wicked smart. Has compelling character arc.
• The antagonist, Tim, is a government official who is sly and authoritative, knows how to manipulate people to do what he wants in a way that they never seen coming.
• The connecting character is Brooke, Juno’s former boss, a by-the-book genius virologist who was demoted for not making progress. She’s logical, methodical and yet very compassionate. She is the little voice on Juno’s shoulder telling her to do the right thing. She’s the sane one in the insane world, a wise mentor archetype.

• Journey / Character Arc: Juno goes from a self-serving survivor who’s uncompromising to compassionate and self-sacrificing. She does this by solving the mystery of how the world ends and stopping it, by sacrificing herself.

• Opening / Ending:

• Opening: Juno impersonates a doctor to infiltrate a closed off hospital ward and get first hand information about the current virus that is spreading in the city in order to further her own career.
• Ending: Juno completes her story arc by sacrificing herself to stop the virus, and goes one-on-one against the antagonist to defeat him and provide a cure to the city. The city is saved.

[I realize this is a script about a virus when these kinds of scripts are not marketable right now due to the current situation, I’m using this script solely for learning purposes.]

2. Tell us which of those decisions you could improve to make your script more marketable.

• Genre: increase the horror elements in the script to weave them better into the thriller storyline, like how it’s done in The Ring

• Title: it’s a bit vague, there could be a stronger title, might be worth brainstorming again

• Lead characters: improve the protagonist – maybe a hot shot virologist or more spunky (make her more arrogant, make her funny in a non-intentional way [spunky and witty], improve her dialogue and character traits, make her more selfish to make the character transformation stronger).

[Francine Miranda]

Francine’s Specialty – Horror

What I learned doing this assignment is how to use the horror genre requirements in scenes by analyzing examples in 2 movies. I learned the importance of analyzing movies and how much more I still have to learn. I gained a better appreciation for the craft of writing horror.

MOVIE #1 ANALYSIS:

Title: Scream (1996)

Genre: Horror

GENRE CONVENTIONS IN THE FILM:

PURPOSE: It takes the characters to the point of hysteria by creating a villain that seems like he is everywhere and yet is no one – who is the killer? We only find out at the end with a twist that there are two killers, not one. Our protagonist is outnumbered, and it looks like there’s no hope left. Everyone is seemingly dead, and she has to fight against two murderers, one of whom is her boyfriend.

ISOLATION: Sydney lives in a small town, where there are few police and the houses are spaced out far away from each other, surrounded by woods. She is then trapped in her house when the killer attacks. And her father is away on a business trip. Often the victims are isolated and alone before they are killed. In the opening scene Casey is home alone.

DEATH: Deaths are gruesome and the killer usually taunts the victims beforehand. The killers use scary movies as inspiration for their killings.

MONSTER/VILLAIN: Two high school serial killers – they use what they learn from watching movies, specifically horror movies, to try and get away with their crimes. The leader of the two is the protagonist’s boyfriend and is out for revenge against her because her mom was having an affair with his dad, resulting in his mom leaving home. Although not supernaturally strong, these average strength boys are dangerous because their lust for blood is big; they are after fame and trying to one up each other with their murders. They are true psychopaths and hide their identities well throughout the film.

HIGH TENSION: We don’t know who the killer is and when he will show up. The police are going in the wrong direction, which makes things worse as it becomes clear that Sydney is the killer’s main target. As more and more people die, the tension rises. It heightens when Sydney finds out there are two killers, one is her boyfriend, and they have kidnapped her dad, planning to pin the murder spree on him. She also discovers that they killed her mom. In the final climax, the tension is at its peak when she has to fight two serial killers in a house alone, and it seems that all her friends are dead.

DEPARTURE FROM REALITY: High school boys that are cunning and psychopathic enough to pull this off. (This was before Columbine and the prevalence of school shootings)

MORAL STATEMENT: Violence in the media can inspire young people to become more violent (and more creative in their violence); they are thinking life is like a movie, disregarding the consequences, losing touch with reality. Life is not a movie, it doesn’t follow any rules and always listen to your gut instincts.

MOVIE OUTLINE HIGHLIGHTING THE PARTS THAT FULFILL THE GENRE:

I did this on paper, outlined the movie, identified which horror genre requirements are present in the scenes. Noticed that the moral statement is more of an overall theme than a specific message. Noticed in each scene there is at least one moment of high tension. The horror scenes are almost constant high tension.

MOVIE #2 ANALYSIS:

Title: The Ring (2002)

Genre: Horror

GENRE CONVENTIONS IN THE FILM:

PURPOSE: They fulfilled this purpose by creating a villain which can kill without any weaknesses and can target you because you watched the video, which we all have done once we see the movie LOL. Love the ending, very meta.

ISOLATION: Rachel is powerless against this monster because nothing she does is able to stop it, except giving it what it wants in order to spare herself. It can reach anyone who’s watched the video, and kills in supernatural ways that cannot be stopped.

DEATH: The monster kills by scaring someone to death, contorting their facial features and stopping their hearts. Gruesome, painful, horrifying and unavoidable.

MONSTER/VILLAIN: The monster is Samara, an evil child who was murdered by her adoptive parents; she comes back as a spirit that haunts and kills anyone who watches her video tape.

HIGH TENSION: Rachel, the protagonist, loses her niece (who was killed by the monster); when she investigates the niece’s death, she realizes she has cursed herself and will die too. Tensions increase when her ex insists on watching the video too. Realizing this is supernatural, and she can’t find any way to save herself, her son then watches the video. She must travel to where the ghost’s video leads her, a remote island, and dig up the past – putting herself at potential risk when she discovers the father may have murdered his daughter. After the father kills himself, Rachel has no more options left, no place left to go for help/answers. Then she follows clues from her son, thinks she’s evaded death by finding the ghost’s corpse and putting her to rest, when her son says she shouldn’t have helped Samara. Rachel’s ex is murdered by the ghost, and she realizes her son is next; she feels clueless about how to save him.

DEPARTURE FROM REALITY: A video tape that kills you after you watch it.

MORAL STATEMENT: Parents must not neglect their children; just because a child is independent doesn’t mean the child doesn’t need his/her parents, and doesn’t want to be heard. Another possible moral statement is: abandon your children at your own risk, you could be creating future monsters.

MOVIE OUTLINE HIGHLIGHTING THE PARTS THAT FULFILL THE GENRE:

I did this on paper, outlined the movie, identified which horror genre requirements are present in the scenes. Noticed that all horror scenes included isolation, death and high tension. Noticed most of the non-horror scenes included the moral statement.

[Francine Miranda]

Francine’s Credibility is Going Up!

What I learned doing this assignment is how to make a plan to build credibility, and commit to doing it to open doors in my screenwriting career.

CREDIBILITY CHECKLIST

1. Your Writing Sample

No – ‘Recommend’ from Coverage

Yes – Delivers on the genre in a strong way

Yes – Delivers on the business decisions

2. Screenwriting Accomplishments

No– Contest wins

No– Smaller deals (options, sales, writing assignments)

No – Larger deals

No – Movies produced

3. The Google factor – Google your name. How many items on the first page show you as a professional screenwriter? Buzz posts, interviews, news reports, etc..

– My name appears first on Google search, but no buzz posts, interviews, news reports, etc.

4. Your Network

How many producers are in your network? 673 on LinkedIn

How many Connections do you have who are connected to producers? 925 (including the above producers)

5. Education specific to screenwriting

No– Degree in film or screenwriting

Yes– Master Screenwriter Certificate program at ScreenwritingU

6. Borrowed Credibility

No– Represented by an agent or manager

No – Working with a producer

No – Connected to a star

No – Connected to a funding source

7. IMDB CREDITS – Go to http://imdb.com and search your name. What credits show up there for you?

– None

8. Other forms of credibility that is related to screenwriting:

No– Novels published

No– Producer or director experience

Somewhat yes– Experience working with agencies, production companies, film festivals, etc..

– Volunteering at film festivals

2. Make a list of possible things you can do to increase your credibility in the future.

– Write 2 more scripts as writing samples – deliver on my genre/specialty in a strong way, deliver strong on business decisions

– Get “recommend” from coverage on at least one script

– Enter into contests – get a win or two

– Work towards getting smaller deals (options, sales, writing assignments) & gain experience working with producers

– Continue building LinkedIn network

– Publish novels

– Continue volunteering once COVID restrictions end

Tell us the 2 or 3 steps you’ll take in the next 30 days to increase your credibility.

– Finish rewriting my horror script and submit for coverage

– Continue building screenwriting network

[Francine Miranda]

ASSIGNMENT 2: Improving Your LinkedIn Profile

Francine’s LinkedIn Profile is Amazing!

What I learned doing this assignment is that my LinkedIn profile could use more credibility, I need to work on building up credibility to add to it.

Instant improvements I made to my LinkedIn Profile:

– I didn’t change anything since I already updated it previously

My plan for improving credibility on LinkedIn over the next 30 days:

– Get recommends on scripts

[Francine Miranda]

Francine’s Projects and Insights

Project A: An idea I’d like to create

Title: Two-Way Mirror

Budget: $1 – $5 million

Concept: When a husband lies about what he works on in his home office, a housewife installs a two-way mirror, thinks he’s planning to carry out a bombing, but then he finds out she’s been spying he disappears. They must find him and stop him before he carries out his plan.

Project B: A finished script

Title: Frightful Future

Budget: $5 – $15 million

Concept:

A contagious virus causes people to see the future, which drives them insane because of the future they see. Can a scientist find a cure and prevent that horrible future, before she becomes infected too?

What I learned from the opening teleconference:

Being able to help a producer achieve their vision is a skill that can set a writer apart from others and help get the movie made. Getting the movie made is the most important goal. Follow the steps, get the producer’s involvement and approval at each stage, and you will be able to develop a good working relationship and succeed at paid writing assignments.

[Francine Miranda]

Hello hello!

Name’s Francine and I’ve written 5 scripts and a pilot. After taking a mini break from screenwriting (cuz of writer’s block), I’m back and hoping to learn how to develop a career doing writing assignments.

I guess something unique is I took a COVID test for the first time since this pandemic started and tested positive on the first day of class! ha! I’m all better now and ready to get caught up.

Happy to meet everyone, wish you all best of luck!

[Francine Miranda]

Confidentiality Agreement

I, Francine Miranda, agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Francine Miranda]

Thanks so much Eden! 😆😀

[Francine Miranda]

I’m hooked! I didn’t expect the last character, he’s very cool twist and a great source of conflict. I like Sam too, the irony that he’s got fantastical dreams but is very boring in real life, works really well here.

[Francine Miranda]

Thanks so much Haley, appreciate the positive feedback! 😀

[Francine Miranda]

Very cool concept! I’m intrigued about these dreams they’re manufacturing, there’s lots of potential here. Looking forward to seeing how this story unfolds 🙂

[Francine Miranda]

Thanks so much Haley!

[Francine Miranda]

Fun title! The concept has some very intriguing elements, I would love just a little more info, I have a feeling you’re holding out on the big hooks 😆 Looking forward to seeing more as we get into outlining 😀

[Francine Miranda]

That sounds very intriguing! It has an epic romantic drama vibe. It’s a great idea, can’t wait to see more 🙂

[Francine Miranda]

Oh wow! thanks so much Lenore! I’m hoping to add some big laughs in there, among the scares haha 😂 Thanks again!

[Francine Miranda]

Thanks Karyn! I love that, two trees! I didn’t catch that before 😀

[Francine Miranda]

Hi Lloyd,

Happy to help!

I agree with you on both of the character structures working here, both Antagonist vs Protagonist and Dramatic Triangle. And you’ve got the action and thriller and drama elements in there, so depending on how you want to structure the story, you could go either way.

I would say try and aim for one structure for now, I like dramatic triangle for this (especially with the answers you gave in lesson 2), and then as you’re outlining it, if you need to change it to Antagonist vs Protagonist, you can do that by editing down the third character to a smaller role and focus on the protagonist and antagonist. But I think you’ve got enough competing agendas to make the dramatic triangle work.

For the genre, since you’re leaning towards Drama/Action, I would go with your gut and keep with that. You could write it to any of the three genres (or blending two of them), it just depends on the feeling you’re going for – intense fast-paced, high-stakes emotional, or edge of your seat. But you still have time to choose since the lesson on genre won’t come till later.

I’m in the same boat, my story can use both of those character structures. I actually changed mine from protagonist vs antagonist to the dramatic triangle. I’m thinking things will become clearer as we develop our outlines more.

Looking forward to seeing how yours turns out, it sounds like a great story!

Hope this helps 🙂

Cheers,

Francine

[Francine Miranda]

Thanks so much Cassie!

You have a great concept as well! I love a good ghost story 🙂

[Francine Miranda]

Hi Lloyd,

Maybe I can help you, when choosing character structure consider the following:

Dramatic Triangle usually has a lot of intrigue driving the story, such as secret identities and hidden agendas. Great for Thrillers, but can be used in many genres.

Protagonist vs Antagonist is a very classic good guy vs bad guy story, but in your case the bad guy could be an opposing force such as the terrorist group. This structure is great for Action movies, but can be used in many genres.

Hope this helps 🙂

Cheers,

Francine

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by  Francine Miranda.

[Francine Miranda]

Thanks Karyn! Happy to meet you too! I feel so motivated writing this week, back on track and ready to roll!

And yes yes! “spooky” is great! 👻

[Francine Miranda]

Happy to meet you Joanne! Looking forward to working with you too! We’ll channel some great stories on this journey 😀

[Francine Miranda]

Hi, nice to meet you Cassie! I’m like the opposite, I’ve only done a little bit with spirit animals, but it’s sounds interesting! Very cool 😀

[Francine Miranda]

Hi Brian, happy to meet you! Yeah tarot’s actually fun, but sometimes stressful when people ask crazy serious questions, like ‘will my boyfriend propose’, and then the reading said ‘no’ 😂 omg that was an awkward reading haha (he eventually did propose to her!)

[Francine Miranda]

Hey Ruthie! Omg so excited to be in class again! Yay! You’re my inspiration to keep going!

Btw I love Dali too!!! If I ever take a trip to see you, I definitely wanna see the tattoo! My fav is Escher, although not sure if that’s surreal or abstract, haha, yeah I’m no expert 😆 I just know they’re all amazing!

[Francine Miranda]

Hi David, thanks so much for the notes, you make excellent points!

Funny story about this script is that I started writing it in January 2020 for the MSC class, and by summer I realized this is probably not going to sell anytime soon, but I was so far into the class that I couldn’t change the script. So now it’s a writing sample LOL

I’m glad you liked it, I will try and elevate it with your excellent notes.

Thanks again!

[Francine Miranda]

Hi David,

I’d be happy to give feedback. I’m also curious to see what you think of my scene too!

Here are some thoughts on your writing sample:

Set Up: Great job! it’s clear and to the point, and gives some important business decision information too.

Quality of writing: I think the quality is really good. At first I wasn’t sure about having a flashback so early on in the script, but as I kept reading, it worked really well to set up the conflict. The ending cliffhanger works great!

10 pages delivered on the genre:

Since romance isn’t in the Genre Conventions PDF that came with the lesson, I’m going to base this on what I know about romance, which isn’t too much, so I hope I can still help! I really like the way you set up the scene at the beginning – very much see this as fitting the genre well for Christmas movies, very family and wholesome. The setup of her and her ex is really interesting, I think in romance there’s always the guy she shouldn’t be with and the guy she should, so you’ve ticked off one of the boxes, not sure which one yet! 😀

The only thing that I think might come up from producers is to maybe add some comedy, depending on what kind of producer you’re pitching too. If they do rom-coms or work for a network that has more comedy in the kind of romance movies they release, you can create a different version of this writing sample that has a few jokes or funny scenarios. I personally really like the way you’ve written it, I don’t really go for rom-coms and I think you have a strong scene. I would watch this movie! So I think it shows off your writing skills really well.

[Francine Miranda]

Hi James, I’m also in the eastern time zone. If you’re still looking for a partner, do you want to team up for this assignment?

[Francine Miranda]

Hi Mark,

Here are my thoughts on your writing sample:

Set Up: I didn’t see any setup, I’m guessing it’s the first 10 pages of the script, maybe add a quick note that these are the first 10 pages, so a producer knows what he/she is about to read, just for context.

Quality of writing: I think the quality is top notch on this scene, it feels very Pixar and Disney. A quick note on formatting, camera directions (like “Dissolve to”, “CU”, “Cut to”, etc.) aren’t required in a spec script or sample, you’ll want to keep them out to make it a fast read for a producer. These details can be added in once the script goes into production.

10 pages delivered on the genre: I’m not sure which genre this is, I’m guessing it’s Family. If it is, then I think you nailed it.

[Francine Miranda]

Hi Frances,

Here are my thoughts on your writing sample:

Set Up: You did a good job on the setup, it’s a very interesting way to introduce the story because you’ve emphasize a critical marketing hook: it’s a true story! Great job! Maybe you could shorten that part so it’s a faster read for a producer?

Quality of writing: very atmospheric beginning to the scene. My only comment is that there is a lot of information/details, but I haven’t read a lot of drama scripts, so this could be appropriate for your genre.

10 pages delivered on the genre: as mentioned above, I’m not too familiar on your genre, but I think it’s hitting the main requirements.

[Francine Miranda]

Hi Benito,

Here are some thoughts on your writing sample:

Set Up: You did a good job on the setup, it’s got clarity, but for a busy producer this feels too long, is it possible to condense this to one short paragraph?

Quality of writing: You’ve got a solid piece of writing. Maybe end the scene with a cliffhanger and leave the reader hanging, wanting to read more.

10 pages delivered on the genre: You’ve got high tension, fear of death, and other horror genre elements in this scene, well done! My only suggestion is maybe increasing the pacing by checking if there’s any dialogue that can be removed while still retaining the scene’s meaning.