[Frank Gaide]

FRANK’S SUPPORTING CHARACTERS

I SEE MYSELF WRITING two great, marketable screenplays every year going forward and teaming up with a manager/friend. Short term, I imagine a very difficult but valuable and rewarding six months going balls to the wall in this class.

COMPLETING THIS ASSIGNMENT, I discovered how to better separate the supporting characters from main characters or background. It’s a very fine line distinguishing who does what and why. The simple questioning approach in this lesson proved to be a deeper evaluating tool and guided my decisions.

SUPPORTING CHARACTERS:

NICO CAPIZZI:
DETECTIVE LONG:
ANGELA MOSS:
HOOPER LUTHER:

BACKGROUND CHARACTERS:

Campground operator, Wedding guests including family, Various police and EMT, Bank tellers, Hair salon clients, Environmentalist demonstrators, North End gangsters and neighbors, Capizzi pizzeria staff, Bus station background

SUPPORTING CHARACTER 1:

NAME: Detective Long
ROLE: Local detective
MAIN PURPOSE: To discover why and how the wedding ended in a brawl with Lily’s parents dead: to interrogate Coop, the groom, and find the guilty party.
VALUE: His serious/rational questions add mystery and intrigue in an otherwise comic situation and creates anticipation about who the actual murderer(s) is.

SUPPORTING CHARACTER 2:

NAME: Nico Capizzi
ROLE: Wealthy grandfather to the bride, Lily, and disingenuous father to Izzy, mother of the bride: he runs a pizza empire from the North End, home to the local mob.
MAIN PURPOSE: Is to help Lily pay for her wedding and misdirect her understanding of dysfunctional family secrets while subverting Frankie’s attempts to reconcile with Lily after a 25-year absence.
VALUE: Nico’s history with the mob adds hidden danger to the mystery of the parents’ murders and possible clues that his pizza empire has something to do with it.

SUPPORTING CHARACTER 3:

NAME: Angela Moss
ROLE: Maid of honor
MAIN PURPOSE: Lily’s best friend and confidant.
VALUE: Angela is the commonsense sounding board for Lily’s problems and contrasts a cast of mysterious cutthroats.

SUPPORTING CHARACTER 4:

NAME: Hooper (Hoop) Huntley
ROLE: Best man
MAIN PURPOSE: Just by parading his threatening size and height, Hoop protects his brother, Coop, the groom from any threats and deflects any police suspicions away from him and onto himself.
VALUE: He adds more intrigue to the brothers’ mysterious background and directs attention to himself as another possible guilty party.

[Frank Gaide]

FRANK’S CHARACTER PROFILES PART 2

I SEE MYSELF WRITING two great, marketable screenplays every year going forward and teaming up with a manager/friend. Short term, I imagine a very difficult but valuable and rewarding six months going balls to the wall in this class.

COMPLETING THIS ASSIGNMENT, I discovered this exercise to be as difficult as Profile 1, if not more. The reason? The back 2 back lessons are fully developing my main characters, but in doing so, the results are causing me to rethink and rewrite the current story/structure. I know this is a good thing! So, I input the current structure into the AI model, and it spit out many useful suggestions to use for my profiles based on the current storyline. But many of them do not align with my new storyline idea. I need to rewrite the entire structure of the story and go back to AI for better results.

LILY – PROTAGONIST

THE HIGH CONCEPT: A bride’s wedding plan is hijacked by her bitterly divorced parents’ feud, so she decides to give them a push—into killing each other.

CHARACTER JOURNEY: A seemingly, happy bride2be plans an eco-wedding when her bitterly divorced parents show up, start feuding, and steal the show away: so, she decidedly pushes them into murdering each other using their mutual hatred as the weapon of choice.

ACTOR ATTRACTORS:

– The range of emotion. Playing straight in a black comedy. An anti-hero demonstrating naïve vulnerability and cunning mischief.
– The transformational journey from sweet underdog bride to diabolical manipulator, transform from a peace-seeking bride to an instigator in her
– Constructing a “very” green wedding.
– Enacting/manipulating pranks that contribute to her parents’ destruction,
– She is an environmental activist in the truest sense willing to upset the traditional wedding norms by creating an over-the-top green wedding and willing to do anything to defend her opinion.
– Using the defense of her “green wedding” as a metaphor for her wanting to live a simple clean life without all the trappings of wealth and greed. By planning her green wedding and defending it to the death, her dialogue balances politeness and biting sarcasm, with under-the-breath comments and asides that show her growing disillusionment and newfound thirst for vengeance.
– Her contemporary vision for a perfect environmentally protected world is championed by her need for perfection in everything she does, including the perfect pranks to drive her parents over the edge.

LILY – PROTAGONIST – PROFILES – PART 2

CHARACTER SUBTEXT: Lily is hiding her plot to have her parents murder each other.
CHARACTER INTRIGUE: Deception: Lily hides the true reason for creating an eco-wedding… to drive her parents mad.
FLAW: Overdoing things: Lily is a perfectionist who creates unintended consequences, like falling from the tree or expecting a perfect wedding.
VALUES: Love and duty
CHARACTER DILEMMA: Lily pleases her parents/others versus herself/independence. Self-expression versus guilt.

IZZY (ISABEL) – PROTAGONIST

THE HIGH CONCEPT: A bride’s wedding plan is hijacked by her bitterly divorced parents’ feud, so she decides to give them a push—into killing each other.

CHARACTER JOURNEY: Izzy believes she is helping her daughter, Lily, from making the regrettable mistake of having an outdoor eco-wedding instead of using her connections at the Ritz. She forces her own unwanted designs on Lily; but with the arrival of Frankie, her ex, she redirects all those efforts to humiliate him and devises dangerous pranks to hurt him.

ACTOR ATTRACTORS:
– The opportunity to represent a modern woman at the top of her game.
– A comedic powerhouse carrying unresolved grievances and aiming to sabotage the wedding in the pettiest, most hilarious ways possible.
– unapologetically flawed and outrageous, making her scene-stealers.
– She projects herself as a concerned affluent professional but beneath that shell she’s diabolical, jealous, vengeful, and deadly. –
– Instigates pranks, some dangerous, to outshine and humiliate her ex.
– She uses her professionalism and tact as control.
– Tomboyish, yet comically cultured.

IZZY (ISABEL) – ANTAGONIST – PROFILES – PART 2

CHARACTER SUBTEXT: Izzy hides who she really is behind a bossy attitude and the way she carries herself. She covers her fear well.
CHARACTER INTRIGUE: Unspoken wounds: Izzy can never get over the hurt when Frankie, her ex, abandoned her and Lily.
FLAW: Overconfidence: Izzy’s demanding self-righteous beliefs drive people away from her, not toward her.
VALUES: Winning and fame.
CHARACTER DILEMMA: Izzy needs to be a winner in life rather than the loser she once was. Loving someone versus her duty to help them the way she believes is best.

FRANKIE – PROTAGONIST

THE HIGH CONCEPT: A bride’s wedding plan is hijacked by her bitterly divorced parents’ feud, so she decides to give them a push—into killing each other.

CHARACTER JOURNEY: The other half of Lily’s bitterly divorced parents, Frankie returns to atone for his 25-year absence and to avenge the unfair treatment Izzy, his ex, and Nico, her dad, dealt him in front of his growing daughter. Now he does anything to win back his daughter including robbing banks to give her money for wedding costs and offering to help her prepare the eco-wedding. But old battles quickly resume with Izzy, effecting an all-out war of exchanging dangerous pranks that ruin Lily’s wedding.

ACTOR ATTRACTORS:
• He plays a lowly hood/absent dad who gets to fix everything he broke in life. He also gets to take a swipe at the family responsible for his absence by going to war with his ex.
• A comedic powerhouse, carrying unresolved grievances and aiming to sabotage the wedding in the pettiest, most hilarious ways possible. They’re both unapologetically flawed and outrageous, making them scene-stealers.
• Robbing banks, running pranks. creating “green” decorations for the green wedding
• Aging lowly hood pulling bank jobs to feel needed: he saves the cash for his estranged daughter out of guilt. He complains about all the physical ailments of growing old and poor and alone, seeking happiness.
• Sad and lonely and guilty, caring with a robin hood mentality, very patient to joyous, repentant, sinister and violent and quick tempered with uncontrollable vengeance.
• A product of the streets: Irish heritage versus Italian heritage. Always looking for an angle to succeed instead of good old fashion work. Passive-aggressive.
• Uncultured on the outside but highly intellectual and clever on the inside: could hold his own against any Ivy Leaguer. He believes in the law of the land. A nightmare parent and husband!

FRANKIE – ANTAGONIST – PROFILES – PART 2

CHARACTER SUBTEXT: Frankie is lying about who he’s become out of embarrassment. He’s lying about the other reason why attending the wedding is so important: not just to make up with Lily but revenge on Izzy.
CHARACTER INTRIGUE: Unspoken wound that Frankie suffered when Izzy and Nico banished him from Boston and Lily’s life which connects him to a hidden agenda for attending the wedding.
FLAW: Poor decision making and giving up too easily are why Frankie lives a loner existence as a half ass crook and estranged dad to Lily.
VALUES: Honesty and duty. The lack of one is the reason he hates Nico and Izzy. The other is the reason he robs banks to give money to Lily.
CHARACTER DILEMMA: There’s no doubt Frankie struggles between wanting external admiration versus loving yourself. He’s filled with guilt and punishes himself.

COOP(ER) – TRIANGLE

THE HIGH CONCEPT: A bride’s wedding plan is hijacked by her bitterly divorced parents’ feud, so she decides to give them a push—into killing each other.

CHARACTER JOURNEY: Coop is the groom/husband who tells the story of events to the police, and thus, the audience. He arrives cool, calm, and compassionate toward Lily and becomes her lifeline when confronting her bitterly divorced parents. He turns more sinister throughout the story and his true intentions become revealed at the end of the story

ACTOR ATTRACTORS:
– A man with a secret history and no family to speak of. He walks a fine line between truth and fiction: could be a closet serial killer or just an opportunist seeking riches. Enjoys harming/torturing animals. Intriguingly villainous.
– Every action he takes points to a hidden agenda and secrecy. He adds an eerie tension to every scene.
– The audience target of suspicion, disgust, and overall threat to the characters in the story. Wearing a smirk.
– His shifting duplicity between charm and torment belies a dark hidden agenda from his past. Underneath his gentle smiles, he relishes every chaotic moment, revealing his secret pleasure in watching others’ misfortunes—a twisted view that grows more pronounced as the story –
– Layers of manipulation.
– Like the charming snake he is– soft spoken and seducing. Too perfect and saccharine.
– Is he a closet serial killer, or at least a serial killer in the making. His twisted fascination with harm.

COOP(ER) – TRIANGLE – PROFILES – PART 2

CHARACTER SUBTEXT: Coop is luring and seducing protects Lilly from suspicions, but it’s also a way to hide who he really is and what he really wants out the marriage.
CHARACTER INTRIGUE: Deception and secrecy. Coop tells Lily’s story to the police like a rehearsed script. But why? Why talk to all wedding guests like it was from a rehearsed script?
FLAW: Coop seems to say the wrong things over and over deliberately getting others in trouble, not just himself.
VALUES: Winning and being your best.
CHARACTER DILEMMA: Excitement versus safety is weighed into every decision Coop makes, for his own wellbeing, because he takes a certain pleasure in causing trouble and watching people squirm.

THE AI VERSION BASED ON MY CURRENT IDEA W/STRUCTURE

Genre = black comedy Concept = A bride’s wedding plan is hijacked by her bitterly divorced parents’ feud, so she decides to give them a push—into killing each other. Characters = Lily is the protagonist bride. Coop is the mysterious groom, triangle character. Izzy is the bride’s bossy mom, antagonist, and one half of the bitterly divorced parents. Frankie is the bride’s estranged dad, antagonist, and the other half of the bitterly divorced parents. Structure = ACT 1 OPENING: A chaotically absurd lakeside campground scene: overturned tables, wedding guests dazed, a cake-smeared brawl zone, and over-the-top paramedics treating injuries as though it’s a war zone. The local police interview Coop, the groom, who nervously explains the series of unfortunate events. The bodies of Lily’s parents, Izzy and Frankie, lie on the grass next to the crushed wedding cake, their faces covered in icing, which almost makes their deaths look ridiculous. Coop, with comedic robotic exasperation, narrates how the whole catastrophe started. Flashbacks start: Frankie cheated on Izzy, prompting her to deface his SUV with obscenities like “Cheater Mc Loser” in neon green spray paint. He fled to Florida. Lily then moved to Cape Cod to work in green energy. Lily’s idealistic protest deforestation ends with her falling out of a tree. Her quirky yet self-righteous personality emerges as she lectures the media on the value of “saving the trees,” despite being injured in the process. INCITING INCIDENT: Izzy, flipping through Lily’s wedding invitation at her hair salon, sarcastically narrates her outrage to her clients. Lily’s insistence on an eco-friendly, “green wedding” irks Izzy. She calls Lily, lambasting her for not choosing the Ritz and scoffing at her idealism. Lily is literally in a tree protesting during this call, showcasing her absurd commitment to saving the environment. When Izzy refuses to help pay for her wedding and throws down the challenge for Lily to call her father for help, she does so just to prove her mother wrong. Surprisingly, Frankie jumps at the chance to return, eager to spite Izzy and alleviate his guilt. This sets up the return of the long-absent, clumsy, carefree father who could care less about the environment. TURNING POINT: Frankie’s arrival at the train station is comically awkward. He’s carrying a ridiculous number of plastic bags, blatantly ignoring Lily’s eco-values. Their reunion is stilted but forced with humor as Lily tries to stay positive. Frankie, oblivious, praises her for “becoming a tree-hugger,” unknowingly offending her. When they arrive at the campground, Izzy’s entrance is explosively dramatic. Dressed to the nines, she sneers at everything green and proceeds to belittle Frankie, launching into comically passive-aggressive insults. This sets the tone for their continuous warfare. ACT 2 NEW PLAN: Lily’s naïve optimism leads her to attempt to rekindle an old friendship between her parents. She imagines they’ll set aside their differences for the greater cause: her perfect eco-wedding. She envisions them helping with biodegradable decorations and guilt-ridden speeches about love and unity. However, this plan fails in a series of hilarious mishaps. Izzy refuses to touch anything eco-friendly, calling it “garbage with extra steps.” Frankie, meanwhile, is bumbling and clueless, causing accidents, knocking over the eco-friendly flower arrangements, and setting compostable plates on fire. PLAN OF ACTION: Lily now insists her parents work together, assigning them comical tasks like figuring out how to set up solar-powered decorations and making “eco-friendly wedding favors” from recycled materials. Every attempt leads to greater disaster. Their sabotage escalates comedically: Izzy pours vinegar into Frankie’s organic wine, while Frankie fills her gluten-free cupcakes with laxatives. Lily’s dream of a perfect wedding starts falling apart in absurdly hilarious ways. MIDPOINT TURNING POINT: Coop arrives, his calm, deadpan humor balancing out the chaos. He witnesses the embarrassing display of Lucy’s forced diplomacy. She’s practically groveling for her parents to behave, but they only mock her earnestness. He pulls her aside, suggesting they keep her parents comically separated for the rest of the wedding preparations. They begin a series of elaborate attempts to juggle the two combatants, involving absurdly timed entrances/exits and communication through third parties like the perpetually confused best man. Despite this, their outlandish pranks continue escalating. ACT 3 RETHINK EVERYTHING: After a series of disastrous attempts to separate them, Lily’s frustration reaches a boiling point. Her parents have turned the wedding into a personal battleground, and now guests are gossiping about the growing feud. Lily’s and Coop’s efforts to mediate are laughably futile. Pranks evolve into actual attempts to sabotage key wedding moments: Izzy puts a tarantula in Frankie’s suit jacket, while Frankie hires a Mariachi band to drown out Izzy’s toast. Lily watches her green wedding dream morph into a circus, and she realizes that nothing short of drastic action will save it. A NEW PLAN: Lily and Coop craft an elaborate scheme to push her parents into going too far. In a surreal twist of logic, she reasons that they won’t stop until one of them is truly defeated. The absurdity of her plan reflects her descent into dark comedic territory. She concocts increasingly dangerous situations under the guise of wedding traditions, leading to increasingly risky pranks. The guests are oblivious to the stakes, enjoying the escalating drama like a reality show. TURNING POINT: HUGE FAILURE/MAJOR SHIFT: Lily hits rock bottom after a particularly dangerous prank backfires. Her self-disgust at how far she’s gone makes her realize she’s become just as toxic as her parents. However, instead of retreating, this dark moment pushes her to fully embrace her new, more selfish, and ruthless side. She now decides, with Coop’s encouragement, to push them to literally kill each other. ACT 4 CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT: The Wedding Day arrives, complete with unpredictable rain showers. The tension between her parents reaches its peak during the cake-cutting ceremony. Guests are watching eagerly as the parents, egged on by Lily’s provocations, start a comically vicious shoving match. Cake flies, and chaos ensues. In the ensuing brawl, Frankie and Lily escalate their pranks into actual violence—slipping on cake, getting tangled in eco-friendly decorations, and hilariously bashing each other with chairs. RESOLUTION: Back to the present. Coop finishes his account to the police. Lily’s parents lie dead, their faces still smeared with cake, with a touch of absurdity and poetic justice. The police, bewildered by the absurd circumstances, chalk it up to “a series of unfortunate accidents.” Coop exits, joining Lily by the lake. As he comforts her, we see him subtly discard the vial of poison, confirming he was behind their deaths, but it’s delivered with a wink and nod to the audience, adding to the dark humor. The final image of the sun breaking through the clouds suggests that, ironically, the day is finally perfect.
ChatGPT said:
ChatGPT
Here are the character profiles for each of your key characters, designed to fit within the absurd, darkly comedic structure of your screenplay:
________________________________________
1. Lily (The Protagonist Bride)
Role in the Story: The protagonist who tries to create a perfect, eco-friendly wedding, but inadvertently sets off a chain of disastrous events by pushing her bitterly divorced parents to the edge.
Age Range and Description: Mid-20s, quirky, idealistic, and fiercely passionate about environmental causes. She’s physically fit from her activism and loves to make her point, often with a bit of a martyr complex. Think earnestness meets accident-prone clumsiness.
Core Traits: Idealistic, Self-righteous, Naïve, Compassionate.
Motivation (Want/Need):
• Want: A perfect, eco-friendly wedding.
• Need: To realize that her idealism often conflicts with reality, and that she has to accept imperfections—especially in her relationships with her parents.
Wound: Lily’s father’s abandonment and her mother’s perpetual disapproval of her “unrealistic” ideals. She’s lived her life trying to prove her worth to both, and her need for their approval is deeply ingrained.
Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Lily is charming but flawed, which makes her relatable. Her commitment to saving the environment and belief in the goodness of people (even her parents) make her endearing, but also the source of many of her failures.
Character Subtext: Lily’s need to fix her parents’ relationship and prove her worth to them often clouds her judgment. She hides the fact that her constant need for validation is what drives her and makes her actions self-destructive.
Character Intrigue: She secretly desires to get back at her parents for abandoning her emotionally and making her feel like she’s not good enough. Her plan to manipulate them into violence is driven by an unconscious desire to feel powerful and in control.
Flaw: Her idealism blinds her to the complexities of reality, and her need to fix everything only makes things worse. She has a tendency to push people beyond their limits in the name of “doing the right thing.”
Values: Environmentalism, peace, unity, and justice (though these ideals are often more about her self-image than about others’ needs).
Character Dilemma: She is torn between trying to reconcile her parents and realizing that they may be beyond reconciliation. Her guilt over her dark plan versus her desire for a perfect wedding creates a moral conflict.
________________________________________
2. Coop (The Mysterious Groom)
Role in the Story: The groom who, while appearing calm and collected, is actually a key player in the escalating chaos. He balances Lily’s intense energy with deadpan humor but has his own secret agenda.
Age Range and Description: Late 20s to early 30s, tall, attractive, with a slightly aloof demeanor. He dresses simply but with an edge. He’s mysterious and doesn’t give away much, often acting as the calm amidst the chaos.
Core Traits: Detached, Wry, Cynical, Manipulative.
Motivation (Want/Need):
• Want: To marry Lily without dealing with the circus of her parents.
• Need: To embrace vulnerability and open up to true intimacy. His tendency to distance himself emotionally prevents him from ever really letting anyone in, especially Lily.
Wound: He grew up in a dysfunctional family and has learned to avoid emotional entanglements. He hides a deep fear of failure and inadequacy, especially in relationships, stemming from past betrayals and disappointments.
Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Coop is charming in a dry, sarcastic way, making him hard to dislike. However, his emotional unavailability makes him difficult to fully connect with. His detachment makes him an interesting foil to Lily’s earnestness.
Character Subtext: Coop hides his own insecurity and fear of commitment. His calm demeanor is often a facade that hides a deep need for validation and acceptance, which he rarely expresses.
Character Intrigue: Coop seems to be going along with Lily’s increasingly absurd plans, but it’s revealed that he’s been subtly manipulating her (and her parents) to push them towards the extreme, knowing it will force them to finally confront their own failings. He plays a game of ‘justifying chaos’ in his own mind.
Flaw: His emotional distance and tendency to treat life like a joke prevent him from truly connecting with Lily. He often sabotages his own happiness by staying detached.
Values: Independence, self-preservation, and dark humor. Coop values control over his emotions and situations, which often leads to manipulation rather than honest engagement.
Character Dilemma: Coop struggles with his desire for closeness and his fear of being emotionally vulnerable. His relationship with Lily highlights this conflict, as he both loves her and is terrified of being overwhelmed by her intensity.
________________________________________
3. Izzy (The Bossy Mom)
Role in the Story: The bitter, controlling ex-wife of Frankie and Lily’s mother. She acts as the primary antagonist, whose pride and need for control constantly clash with Lily’s idealism.
Age Range and Description: Late 40s to early 50s, sharply dressed, high-maintenance. She’s sophisticated, but her personality is caustic and domineering. Izzy prides herself on appearing flawless, and she can’t tolerate anyone who doesn’t follow her lead.
Core Traits: Controlling, Sarcastic, Judgmental, Proud.
Motivation (Want/Need):
• Want: To have her daughter’s wedding be a showcase of her own success and taste, and to humiliate Frankie at any opportunity.
• Need: To let go of her need for control and learn to accept that life, and her daughter’s wedding, cannot be perfect.
Wound: Izzy has never gotten over Frankie’s infidelity and abandonment. She holds deep anger and bitterness, believing that men are untrustworthy and that she must always be in control to avoid being hurt again.
Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Izzy is hard to empathize with because of her arrogance and hostility, but underneath her sharp exterior, there is a deep-seated vulnerability about her failed marriage and lack of real affection from her daughter.
Character Subtext: Izzy hides her profound loneliness and inability to emotionally connect with her daughter. She also hides her deep insecurity, believing that her worth is tied to how perfect her life and appearance appear to others.
Character Intrigue: Izzy’s bitterness and rage often boil over in inappropriate ways. She secretly longs to be loved and valued, but her fear of vulnerability prevents her from admitting this.
Flaw: Her need for perfection and control leads her to constantly sabotage relationships, especially with her daughter, who she alienates despite her best intentions.
Values: Power, appearances, control, and wealth. She believes that the only way to win in life is to dominate every situation and prove her superiority.
Character Dilemma: Izzy wants to control everything in her life, but this causes her to isolate herself emotionally from her daughter. She faces the dilemma of either continuing to live in control and isolated or risking emotional vulnerability.
________________________________________
4. Frankie (The Estranged Dad)
Role in the Story: The bumbling, carefree father who, despite his clumsy nature, complicates matters with his attempts to prove he’s still relevant in his daughter’s life.
Age Range and Description: Early 50s, laid-back, a bit shabby, and full of misguided charm. He’s a man-child in many ways, always half-joking and pretending that everything is fine.
Core Traits: Carefree, Clumsy, Self-Absorbed, Oblivious.
Motivation (Want/Need):
• Want: To repair his relationship with Lily and prove he’s still a good father, though his attempts are misguided and ineffective.
• Need: To take responsibility for his actions and learn to genuinely connect with his daughter, rather than trying to buy her love with gifts or attention.
Wound: His infidelity and abandonment of his family have left him with deep guilt, but he constantly tries to cover it up with humor and irresponsibility. He avoids confronting his past and the harm he caused.
Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Frankie is a likeable character due to his childlike optimism, but his cluelessness makes it difficult for people to take him seriously. He’s more endearing than sympathetic, as his irresponsibility leads to chaos.
Character Subtext: Frankie hides his guilt and shame over the collapse of his marriage. He’s terrified that Lily will never forgive him for his mistakes, but he never knows how to show his regret without making everything worse.
Character Intrigue: Frankie’s attempts to “win” back his daughter’s affection often border on the ridiculous, but he believes that he can still fix things by playing the part of the “cool” dad. His antics hide a deeper fear of being abandoned again.
Flaw: His fear of rejection and guilt over his past causes him to overcompensate by being irresponsible, which ultimately alienates the people he loves.
Values: Freedom, fun, and spontaneity. Frankie values a carefree life above all else, but deep down, he craves connection and approval.
Character Dilemma: Frankie is stuck in his old patterns of avoidance and irresponsibility, making it difficult for him to take real accountability. He faces the dilemma of either accepting responsibility for his past actions or continuing his pattern of denial.

[Frank Gaide]

FRANK’S CHARACTER PROFILES PART 1

I SEE MYSELF WRITING two great, marketable screenplays every year going forward and teaming up with a manager/friend. Short term, I imagine a very difficult but valuable and rewarding six months going balls to the wall in this class.

COMPLETING THIS ASSIGNMENT, I am thrilled to use another tool to develop rich characters. I am slowly discovering how much work, how many hours, the journey takes. I can see how all the previous lessons have contributed and lead to this profile rendering. Next step is to create folders for each of the characters!

LILY – PROTAGONIST

THE HIGH CONCEPT: A bride’s wedding plan is hijacked by her bitterly divorced parents’ feud, so she decides to give them a push—into killing each other.

CHARACTER JOURNEY: A seemingly, happy bride2be plans an eco-wedding when her bitterly divorced parents show up, start feuding, and steal the show away: so, she decidedly pushes them into murdering each other using their mutual hatred as the weapon of choice.

ACTOR ATTRACTORS:

– The range of emotion. Playing straight in a black comedy. An anti-hero demonstrating naïve vulnerability and cunning mischief.
– The transformational journey from sweet underdog bride to diabolical manipulator, transform from a peace-seeking bride to an instigator in her
– Constructing a “very” green wedding.
– Enacting/manipulating pranks that contribute to her parents’ destruction,
– She is an environmental activist in the truest sense willing to upset the traditional wedding norms by creating an over-the-top green wedding and willing to do anything to defend her opinion.
– Using the defense of her “green wedding” as a metaphor for her wanting to live a simple clean life without all the trappings of wealth and greed. By planning her green wedding and defending it to the death, her dialogue balances politeness and biting sarcasm, with under-the-breath comments and asides that show her growing disillusionment and newfound thirst for vengeance.
– Her contemporary vision for a perfect environmentally protected world is championed by her need for perfection in everything she does, including the perfect pranks to drive her parents over the edge.

LILY – PROTAGONIST – PROFILES

ROLE IN THE STORY: Lily is the, seemingly, happy bride2be who plans an eco-wedding: anticipating the best day of her life. But she’s terrified of her bitterly divorced parents (always has been) who will be attending. Is she the frustrated peacekeeper during the event, or was she always planning to further sabotage their mutual hatred driving her parents to murder each other (divorcide)?

AGE RANGE & DESCRIPTION: Early to mid-30’s staunch environmentalist and tree hugger: girl-next-door cute with inherent street smarts: an unassuming beauty who despises all the trappings of makeup, etc.: an overbearing perfectionist at work and play and especially planning her eco-wedding and expects the same from others: but she lacks confidence expressing herself outwardly—the product of her overbearing, bossy parents.

CORE TRAITS: intelligent, perfectionist, sweet, self-conscious, devious

MOTIVATION, WANT/NEED:

WANT: lily wants the perfect wedding day: with or without her parents?
NEED: Confidence to see her plans through.

WOUND: Trauma left by her bitterly divorced parents who beat up each other daily and spread the abuse to Lily as their whipping post. Now she can force peace between them, or she let their mutual hatred finally end it for them and herself.

LIKABILITY, RELATABILITY. EMPATHY:

LIKABILITY: Lily is a happy bride. She volunteers at needy shelters across Cape Cod. An environmentalist who sits in trees to protest their removal while caring for birds in nests, even lost cats.
RELATABILITY: She’s happy and in love. Anxious yet thrilled about her dream wedding. She’s one of us, the child of a broken marriage. Concerned over money, wedding costs, and her future in general.
EMPATHY: She falls from a tree while protesting and the injury affects her wedding plans. It causes a cash setback to purchase everything needed for her green wedding. Not to mention the added stress of her bitterly divorced parents meeting for the first time in years: and the unknown feeling to see her dad after his 25-year absence: it’s nerve racking.
INTRIGUE: Is there a hidden agenda behind her push for a green wedding? Why go through all the trouble? Is it a match to light the fire between her warring parents? And why are Lily and Coop, her groom, encouraging the pranks.

IZZY (ISABEL) – PROTAGONIST

THE HIGH CONCEPT: A bride’s wedding plan is hijacked by her bitterly divorced parents’ feud, so she decides to give them a push—into killing each other.

CHARACTER JOURNEY: Izzy believes she is helping her daughter, Lily, from making the regrettable mistake of having an outdoor eco-wedding instead of using her connections at the Ritz. She forces her own unwanted designs on Lily; but with the arrival of Frankie, her ex, she redirects all those efforts to humiliate him and devises dangerous pranks to hurt him.

ACTOR ATTRACTORS:
– The opportunity to represent a modern woman at the top of her game.
– A comedic powerhouse carrying unresolved grievances and aiming to sabotage the wedding in the pettiest, most hilarious ways possible.
– unapologetically flawed and outrageous, making her scene-stealers.
– She projects herself as a concerned affluent professional but beneath that shell she’s diabolical, jealous, vengeful, and deadly. –
– Instigates pranks, some dangerous, to outshine and humiliate her ex.
– She uses her professionalism and tact as control.
– Tomboyish, yet comically cultured.

IZZY (ISABEL) – ANTAGONIST – PROFILES

ROLE IN THE STORY: Izzy is the controlling mother of the bride, Lily, and one half of the bitterly divorced parents who believes she’s helping Lily save herself from the eco-wedding while all along she’s destroying Lily’s perfect day by going to war with Frankie, her ex and Lily’s dad.

AGE RANGE & DESCRIPTION: Mid to late 50s proud Italian from Boston’s North End (Italian mafia-based neighborhood): a firecracker who commands respect and obedience over everyone she meets: self-made owner/operator of a successful hair salon: Rubenesque stature over dressed in false eyelashes, makeup, grotesque hairstyling and loud dress: all to hide her secret failings as a mother.

CORE TRAITS: bossy, sarcastic, unforgiving, loving

MOTIVATION, WANT/NEED:
WANT: Wants what’s best for Lily: Lily just doesn’t know it yet.
NEED: Learn how to compromise and give forgiveness.

WOUND: Izzy will never forgive Frankie, her ex, for abandoning her. She feels wounded by all men in her life, and anyone who disagrees with her.

LIKABILITY, RELATABILITY. EMPATHY:

LIKABILITY: Izzy is a great listener filled with encouraging advice for all her hair clients: who doesn’t like a psychiatrist who they can share all their problems with. Like any good mother, she only wants what’s best for Lily, even if lily doesn’t know it yet!
RELATABILITY: She represents those who were ever rejected/left holding the bag and struggled to get their lives back on track: she built a successful business post-divorce. Now feels the urge to exact a little revenge on Frankie, her ex, for leaving her to fend for herself.
EMPATHY: She suspects that someone she loves – Lily (her daughter) – might hate her guts: feeling that rejection hurts when you give everything of yourself.
INTRIGUE: Why is Izzy so determined to humiliate and punish Frankie (her ex) by exchanging dangerous pranks with him? And what damage will the escalating pranks create.

FRANKIE – PROTAGONIST

THE HIGH CONCEPT: A bride’s wedding plan is hijacked by her bitterly divorced parents’ feud, so she decides to give them a push—into killing each other.

CHARACTER JOURNEY: The other half of Lily’s bitterly divorced parents, Frankie returns to atone for his 25-year absence and to avenge the unfair treatment Izzy, his ex, and Nico, her dad, dealt him in front of his growing daughter. Now he does anything to win back his daughter including robbing banks to give her money for wedding costs and offering to help her prepare the eco-wedding. But old battles quickly resume with Izzy, effecting an all-out war of exchanging dangerous pranks that ruin Lily’s wedding.

ACTOR ATTRACTORS:
• He plays a lowly hood/absent dad who gets to fix everything he broke in life. He also gets to take a swipe at the family responsible for his absence by going to war with his ex.
• A comedic powerhouse, carrying unresolved grievances and aiming to sabotage the wedding in the pettiest, most hilarious ways possible. They’re both unapologetically flawed and outrageous, making them scene-stealers.
• Robbing banks, running pranks. creating “green” decorations for the green wedding
• Aging lowly hood pulling bank jobs to feel needed: he saves the cash for his estranged daughter out of guilt. He complains about all the physical ailments of growing old and poor and alone, seeking happiness.
• Sad and lonely and guilty, caring with a robin hood mentality, very patient to joyous, repentant, sinister and violent and quick tempered with uncontrollable vengeance.
• A product of the streets: Irish heritage versus Italian heritage. Always looking for an angle to succeed instead of good old fashion work. Passive-aggressive.
• Uncultured on the outside but highly intellectual and clever on the inside: could hold his own against any Ivy Leaguer. He believes in the law of the land. A nightmare parent and husband!

FRANKIE – ANTAGONIST – PROFILES

ROLE IN THE STORY: The other half of Lily’s bitterly divorced parents who slowly ruin her wedding day, Frankie plays the repentant dad who seeks revenge against Izzy and Nico for ruining his life: now a lowly shell of the crook he could have become.

AGE RANGE & DESCRIPTION: A beat up 60 something yo, Frankie hails from a proud Irish ancestry. Graying and suffering from a range of generic aliments: bad eyesight, loss of hearing, bad knees, false teeth, his health is as bad as his misfortunes as a criminal: he’s relegated to pulling little bank jobs just to survive a life in his trailer park home. But he still has enough charm to con anyone out of anything and conceal his dark side.

CORE TRAITS: friendly and kind to a fault, witty, wily, vengeful

MOTIVATION, WANT/NEED:
WANT: Frankie wants his daughter to forgive him.
NEED: He needs to be honest.

WOUND: Frankie is very hurt and angry how Izzy and Nico lied to Lily about the reason he left Boston, and her, 25 years ago. It turned him into a failure filled with guilt and vengeance, mistrusting anything that seems to good to be true: He finds it very difficult handing over his heart to anyone because of his disappointment with Izzy and Nico, leaving him a wandering, lonely soul.

LIKABILITY, RELATABILITY. EMPATHY:

LIKABILITY: Frankie is extremely polite: even when he robs a bank. And he’s sure to share some of the loot with the needy. He gives all his cash to Lily, so she pays for her wedding needs; selfless. Honest attempts to help Lily build eco wedding decorations, even if he fails clumsily.
RELATABILITY: The nervous uncertainty that comes when he reunites with a long-lost love, Lily, through his own making: guilt-ridden. His fear of he will behave towards Izzy (his ex-wife) and Nico (his ex-father-in-law) who he secretly blames for their divorce.
EMPATHY: He was thrown out of the family: ostracized and shamed in front of family and friends.
INTRIGUE: He lies about his present life except for the guilt and love he feels for Lily: but to what end? And why is he so willing to exchange dangerous pranks with Izzy? Does he plan to commit suicide by divorce? And what damage will the escalating pranks create.

COOP(ER) – TRIANGLE

THE HIGH CONCEPT: A bride’s wedding plan is hijacked by her bitterly divorced parents’ feud, so she decides to give them a push—into killing each other.

CHARACTER JOURNEY: Coop is the groom/husband who tells the story of events to the police, and thus, the audience. He arrives cool, calm, and compassionate toward Lily and becomes her lifeline when confronting her bitterly divorced parents. He turns more sinister throughout the story and his true intentions become revealed at the end of the story

ACTOR ATTRACTORS:
– A man with a secret history and no family to speak of. He walks a fine line between truth and fiction: could be a closet serial killer or just an opportunist seeking riches. Enjoys harming/torturing animals. Intriguingly villainous.
– Every action he takes points to a hidden agenda and secrecy. He adds an eerie tension to every scene.
– The audience target of suspicion, disgust, and overall threat to the characters in the story. Wearing a smirk.
– His shifting duplicity between charm and torment belies a dark hidden agenda from his past. Underneath his gentle smiles, he relishes every chaotic moment, revealing his secret pleasure in watching others’ misfortunes—a twisted view that grows more pronounced as the story –
– Layers of manipulation.
– Like the charming snake he is– soft spoken and seducing. Too perfect and saccharine.
– Is he a closet serial killer, or at least a serial killer in the making. His twisted fascination with harm.

COOP(ER) – TRIANGLE – PROFILES

ROLE IN THE STORY: Coop is the charming mysterious groom to all but Lily who shares a diabolical secret with him: he is a master manipulator who willingly plays the scapegoat for all of Lilly’s mistakes. But is it out of love, or…something more sinister?

AGE RANGE & DESCRIPTION: Late 30s, pretentious Ivy league jock, a very healthy look to him more than makes up for unattractive features: his commercial lifestyle seems to conflict with everything Lily stands for as an environmentalist… a very odd pairing, indeed that, raises more questions than answers about how/why they’re marrying.

CORE TRAITS: warm, extroverted, loyal, deceitful, rigid

MOTIVATION, WANT/NEED:
WANT: Coop wants to help Izzy have her perfect wedding.
NEED: Needs to protect Lily from any threats: parents or police.

WOUND: He could never get over some great unspoken physical harm growing up and to remedy his inner pain, he passes physical pain onto the weak and helpless: a kind of self-remedy to deal with life.

LIKABILITY, RELATABILITY. EMPATHY:

LIKABILITY: Coop will do anything to make his future wife happy.
RELATABILITY: He’s struggling to fit in with his girlfriend’s dysfunctional family: fish out of water story.
EMPATHY: I feel bad that he has to put up with the bitterly divorced parents’ outbursts while he’s still recovering from deep emotional harm. That’s a lot of pressure to deal with.

[Frank Gaide]

FRANK’S LIKABITILTY, RELATABILITY, AND EMPATHY.

I SEE MYSELF WRITING two great, marketable screenplays every year going forward and teaming up with a manager/friend. Short term, I imagine a very difficult but valuable and rewarding six months going balls to the wall in this class.

COMPLETING THIS ASSIGNMENT, I continue embracing the progression of lessons, understanding how each tool is built on the last. I discovered it necessary to create separate folders for each character: organizing only needed character elements and eliminating everything else from my brainstorming sessions with AI. I plan to create future files for structure and scenes. Finally I learned how intrigue creates more depth and motivation for all characters.

PROTAGONIST: Bride – Lily

LIKABILITY: Lily is a happy bride2be. She volunteers at needy shelters on Cape Cod. A healthy local environmentalist who sits in trees to protest their removal while caring for birds in nests, even lost cats.

RELATABILITY: She’s happy and in love. Anxious yet thrilled about her dream wedding. She’s just another child of a broken marriage. Concerned over money, wedding costs, and her future in general.

EMPATHY: She falls from a tree while protesting and the injury affects her wedding plans. It causes a cash setback to purchase everything needed for her green wedding. Not to mention the added stress of her bitterly divorced parents meeting for the first time in years: and the unknown feeling to see her dad after his 25-year absence: it’s nerve racking.

INTRIGUE: Is there a hidden agenda behind her push for a green wedding? Why go through all the trouble? Is it a match to light a fire between her warring parents? And why are Lily and Coop, her groom, encouraging the pranks.

ANTAGONIST 1: Bitterly divorced mom – Izzy (Isabel)

LIKABILITY: Izzy is a great listener filled with encouraging advice for all of her hair clients: who doesn’t like a psychiatrist who they can share all their problems with. Like any good mother, she only wants what’s best for Lily, even if lily doesn’t know it yet!

RELATABILITY: She represents those who were ever rejected/left holding the bag and struggled to get their lives back on track: she built a successful business post-divorce. Now feels the urge to exact a little revenge on Frankie, her ex.
EMPATHY: She suspects that someone she loves – Lily (her daughter) – might hate your guts: feeling that rejection hurts when you give everything of yourself.

INTRIGUE: Why is Izzy so determined to humiliate and punish Frankie (her ex) by exchanging dangerous pranks with him? And what damage will the escalating pranks create.

ANTAGONIST 2: Bitterly divorced dad – Frankie

LIKABILITY: Frankie is extremely polite to anyone: even when he robs a bank. And he’s sure to share some of the loot with the needy. He gives all his cash to Lily, so she pays for her wedding needs; selfless. Honest attempts to help Lily build eco wedding decorations, even if he fails clumsily.

RELATABILITY: The nervous uncertainty that comes when he reunites with a long-lost love, Lily, through his own making: guilt-ridden. His hidden fear of violence dealing with Izzy (his ex-wife) and Nico (his ex-father-in-law) who he secretly blames for their divorce.

EMPATHY: He was thrown out of the family: ostracized and shamed in front of family and friends.

INTRIGUE: He lies about his present life except for the guilt and love he feels for Lily: but to what end? And why is he so willing to exchange dangerous pranks with Izzy? Does he plan to commit suicide by divorce? And what damage will the escalating pranks create.

[Frank Gaide]

FRANK’S LIKABILITY, RELATABILITY, AND EMPATHY

You want to become a master at getting the audience connected to your lead characters. The more you are, the better the journey will be for those watching your movie.
Have fun with this! It is a master skill.

I SEE MYSELF WRITING two great, marketable screenplays every year going forward and teaming up with a manager/friend. Short term, I imagine a very difficult but valuable and rewarding six months going balls to the wall in this class.

COMPLETING THIS ASSIGNMENT, I continue embracing the progression of lessons, understanding how each tool is built on the last. I discovered it necessary to create separate folders for each character: organizing only needed character elements and eliminating everything else from my brainstorming sessions with AI. I plan to create future files for structure and scenes. Finally I learned how intrigue creates more depth and motivation for all characters.

PROTAGONIST: Bride – Lily

LIKABILITY: Lily is a happy bride2be. She volunteers at needy shelters on Cape Cod. A healthy local environmentalist who sits in trees to protest their removal while caring for birds in nests, even lost cats.

RELATABILITY: She’s happy and in love. Anxious yet thrilled about her dream wedding. She’s just another child of a broken marriage. Concerned over money, wedding costs, and her future in general.

EMPATHY: She falls from a tree while protesting and the injury affects her wedding plans. It causes a cash setback to purchase everything needed for her green wedding. Not to mention the added stress of her bitterly divorced parents meeting for the first time in years: and the unknown feeling to see her dad after his 25-year absence: it’s nerve racking.

INTRIGUE: Is there a hidden agenda behind her push for a green wedding? Why go through all the trouble? Is it a match to light a fire between her warring parents? And why are Lily and Coop, her groom, encouraging the pranks.

ANTAGONIST 1: Bitterly divorced mom – Izzy (Isabel)

LIKABILITY: Izzy is a great listener filled with encouraging advice for all of her hair clients: who doesn’t like a psychiatrist who they can share all their problems with. Like any good mother, she only wants what’s best for Lily, even if lily doesn’t know it yet!

RELATABILITY: She represents those who were ever rejected/left holding the bag and struggled to get their lives back on track: she built a successful business post-divorce. Now feels the urge to exact a little revenge on Frankie, her ex.
EMPATHY: She suspects that someone she loves – Lily (her daughter) – might hate your guts: feeling that rejection hurts when you give everything of yourself.

INTRIGUE: Why is Izzy so determined to humiliate and punish Frankie (her ex) by exchanging dangerous pranks with him? And what damage will the escalating pranks create.

ANTAGONIST 2: Bitterly divorced dad – Frankie

LIKABILITY: Frankie is extremely polite to anyone: even when he robs a bank. And he’s sure to share some of the loot with the needy. He gives all his cash to Lily, so she pays for her wedding needs; selfless. Honest attempts to help Lily build eco wedding decorations, even if he fails clumsily.

RELATABILITY: The nervous uncertainty that comes when he reunites with a long-lost love, Lily, through his own making: guilt-ridden. His hidden fear of violence dealing with Izzy (his ex-wife) and Nico (his ex-father-in-law) who he secretly blames for their divorce.

EMPATHY: He was thrown out of the family: ostracized and shamed in front of family and friends.

INTRIGUE: He lies about his present life except for the guilt and love he feels for Lily: but to what end? And why is he so willing to exchange dangerous pranks with Izzy? Does he plan to commit suicide by divorce? And what damage will the escalating pranks create.

[Frank Gaide]

FRANK’S CHARACTER INTRIGUE

I SEE MYSELF WRITING two great, marketable screenplays every year going forward and teaming up with a manager/friend. Short term, I imagine a very difficult but valuable and rewarding six months going balls to the wall in this class.

COMPLETING THIS ASSIGNMENT, I continue to have doubts about my original concept. I love this tool: adding intrigue. I discovered more depth in my characters that can be used to create setups and payoffs and twists. But I have to find time to reevaluate the original concept and add or subtract elements to make this idea stronger.

TITLE: THE BRIDE KILLED THE CAKE

ROLE: Lily – bride (to be) – protagonist

INTRIGUE ITEMS(S):

HIDDEN AGENDAS: Her eco-wedding is more than an environmental statement; it’s a tool to fan her parents’ bitterness to the point of mutual destruction. Beneath her eco-friendly gestures is a cunning scheme to push her parents into taking each other down.
CONSPIRACIES: In cahoots with groom to cause her parents to murder each other.
UNBROKEN WOUNDS: Embarrassed and dominated by her parents’ feud.

HOW LILY’S CHARACTER SUBTEXT MIGHT SHOW UP:

She exploits her parents’ criticisms and ruthlessness to make them appear guilty: she is trying to help them resolve differences but secretly sabotaging their every action to hurt themselves.

ROLE: Izzy (Isabel) – bitterly divorced mom of the bride – antagonist

INTRIGUE ITEMS(S):

COMPETITION: She feuds with Frankie (her ex), Attempts to change Lily’s green wedding plans.
SECRETS: She feels like a failure and blames Frankie who she punishes by staging covert pranks on him.
HIDDEN AGENDAS: Izzy hides her real goal—to wrestle control of Nico’s pizza empire—under the guise of wanting the best for her daughter’s wedding.

HOW IZZY’S CHARACTER SUBTEXT MIGHT SHOW UP:

She dismisses Lily’s wishes and designs everything needed for a wedding at the Ritz: she attempts to bring it all outside at the campground to replace Lily’s eco plans: she goes out of her way to embarrass and harass Frankie, her ex, at every opportunity: she turns maniacal and evil by staging dangerous pranks that could maim or kill Frankie.

ROLE: Frankie – divorced father of the bride – antagonist

INTRIGUE ITEMS(S):

COMPETITION: Frankie feuds with Izzy for his daughter’s affection.
SECRETS: He’s a failure in life and lies about his work and status out of embarrassment.
UNSPOKEN WOUNDS: He wants to take revenge on his ex-father-in-law, Nico, for the way Nico mistreated him and drove a stake through his marriage. He feels deep guilt over abandoning Lily but buries this beneath a tough exterior, projecting blame outward.

HOW FRANKIE’S CHARACTER SUBTEXT MIGHT SHOW UP:

He robs a couple small banks to help pay for Lily’s wedding: he attempts to help set up eco decorations for the wedding but fails badly ( or is it his ex, Izzy, who is sabotaging his efforts in front of Lily): he lies to everyone about his present situation, especially Izzy and Nico: he plants accusations about Nico in people’s minds: believing Izzy is sabotaging his help with Lily, he escalates dangerous pranks with Izzy until there’s no knowing who is really responsible, and he doesn’t care, as long as Izzy’s out of the picture.

ROLE: Coop(er) – groom/husband – romantic partner

INTRIGUE ITEMS(S):

HIDDEN AGENDAS: There’s something off about Coop and it’s difficult to gage his true intentions. Coop’s affection for Lily masks his true intent—to use her family’s wealth and influence for his own gain.

DECEPTION: He skirts most questions with questions.
SECRET IDENDITY: He has no family and few friends, a blank past. He’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing, posing as the supportive groom while orchestrating a plan to inherit Nico’s wealth through his marriage.

HOW COOP’S CHARACTER SUBTEXT MIGHT SHOW UP:

He always has a tear-jerking answer about loss of family and friends: he befriends Izzy, Frankie, and Nico to appear impartial whenever Lily retaliates against them: he tricks Lily into causing Frankie and Izzy to kill each other. Not to mention his shady friends.

NAME: Nico – rich grandfather and Izzy’s dad – mentor

HIDDEN AGENDA: Nico is orchestrating a subtle succession plan for his empire, testing who among his family is strong or savvy enough to inherit.
UNSPOKEN WOUND: Decades of disappointment with his daughter and son-in-law left him disillusioned, and he secretly views Lily as his last hope for redemption.

[Frank Gaide]

FRANK’S SUBTEXT CHARACTERS

I SEE MYSELF WRITING two great, marketable screenplays every year going forward and teaming up with a manager/friend. Short term, I imagine a very difficult but valuable and rewarding six months going balls to the wall in this class.
COMPLETING THIS ASSIGNMENT, thank God for cut and paste! Lol. I am discovering not just how layered my characters are growing systematically, but how my concept is ever changing with all the new information collected through each lesson and assignment. It covers A Lot of pages already. Guess it’s good to keep accurate files for every element and review new information daily.
EXAMPLE MOVIE TITLE: Gran Torino

CHARACTER NAME: Walt Kowolski.
Subtext Identity: An angry old racist and proud Marine who hates everyone.
Subtext Trait: Concealing and kind.
Subtext Logline: Walt Kowloski is an old Marine who loves America and hates the immigrants surrounding him but reveals his hidden humanity when protecting those less fortunate than him.
Possible Areas of Subtext: Walt helps the Vietnamese kid next door: he protects the Vietnamese family from thugs: he sacrifices himself so the thugs go to prison: leaves his prize automobile for the kid next door, his gran torino.
MY MOVIE TITLE: Hell of a wedding

CHARACTER NAME: Lily
SUBTEXT IDENTITY: Ever the victim bride protecting her eco wedding plans from bitterly divorced parents who control her every decision.
SUBTEXT TRAIT: Wily and designing always in denial.
SUBTEXT LOGLINE: Lily uses her cunning wit to cover for her parents’ abusive behavior to her and themselves and now she’s determined to use it to make them murder each other. Lily is an environmental bride masking her rebellious, vengeful side, using her eco-wedding as a smokescreen to drive her parents apart.
POSSIBLE AREAS OF SUBTEXT: Lily plays the scapegoat when her parents fight with each other: she exploits their criticisms and ruthlessness to make them appear guilty: she is trying to help them resolve differences but secretly sabotaging their every action to hurt them.

CHARACTER NAME: Isabell (Izzy)
SUBTEXT IDENTITY: Very independent bitchy mom to Lily who believes she is helping her daughter through controlling her every decision: She tried this with her ex, Frankie, and drove him away. Now she hates him for her own failures.
SUBTEXT TRAIT: She is the boss of everyone and everything in her life, and very treacherous.
SUBTEXT LOGLINE: Izzy will go to extreme measures to make sure Lily has her wedding at the Ritz instead of a lakefront campground, and she’s ready to go to war with Frankie, her ex, to prove she is better than him, even if it kills them both! Izzy is a protective mother masking her bitterness, orchestrating petty schemes under the guise of helping her daughter.
POSSIBLE AREAS OF SUBTEXT: Izzy goes above Lily’s wishes and designs everything needed for a wedding at the Ritz: she attempts to bring it all outside at the campground to replace Lily’s eco plans: she goes out of her way to embarrass and harass Frankie, her ex, at every opportunity: she turns maniacal and evil by staging dangerous pranks that could maim or kill Frankie.

CHARACTER NAME: Frankie
SUBTEXT IDENTITY: Frankie is a failed mobster, dad, and husband: he’s failed at everything in life. He’s hanging on financially by pulling small robberies. And now, after his 25-year absence, he’s headed back home at lily’s invitation ready to pay for his guilt and ready to go back to war with Izzy and her dad, Nico.
SUBTEXT TRAIT: Frankie is secretive about his life and very suspicious of everyone.
SUBTEXT LOGLINE: Frankie has failed at everything in life, but he is especially sorry for abandoning Lily, and now he has an opportunity to right the wrong while getting even with Izzy and her dad, Nico, who he blames for all his failings in life. Frankie is a failed mobster and absent father disguising his guilt, driven to compete for redemption while plotting subtle revenge.
POSSIBLE AREAS OF SUBTEXT: Frankie secretly robs a couple small banks to help pay for Lily’s wedding: he attempts to help set up eco decorations for the wedding but fails badly ( or is it his ex, Izzy, who is sabotaging his efforts in front of Lily): he lies to everyone about his present situation, especially Izzy and Nico: he plants accusations about Nico in people’s minds: believing Izzy is sabotaging his help with Lily, he escalates dangerous pranks with Izzy until there’s no knowing who is really responsible, and he doesn’t care, as long as Izzy’s out of the picture.

CHARACTER NAME: Coop(er)
SUBTEXT IDENTITY: Coop is the almost-too-good-to-be-true affectionate groom/husband with a blank history: no parents, no family to speak of, and few friends. He wants so desperately to help Lily get rid of her problem parents, but at what cost, and why?
SUBTEXT TRAIT: Coop is quietly manipulative, scheming, and deceitful.
SUBTEXT LOGLINE: Coop appears to be the perfect man for Lily but at every turn he’s manipulating her actions/decisions for supposedly good reason. But it all unwinds like a staged plan forced upon her and her whole family culminating in her parents’ deaths. But to what end? Coop is a flawless groom masking a sinister agenda, steering Lily’s actions with strategic affection.
POSSIBLE AREAS OF SUBTEXT: Coop always has a tear jerking answer about loss of family and friends: he befriends Izzy, Frankie, and Nico to appear impartial whenever Lily retaliates against them: he tricks Lily into causing Frankie and Izzy to kill each other.

[Frank Gaide]

FRANK’S ACTOR ATTRACTORS

I see myself writing two great, marketable screenplays every year going forward and teaming up with a manager/friend. Short term, I imagine a very difficult but valuable and rewarding six months going balls to the wall in this class.
Completing this assignment, I discovered myself adding and subtracting important elements to the original concept. Spending much time searching deeply into each character, new ideas popped into my mind that drastically changed almost everything going forward. You promised we would have new revelations in each exercise, and this was the most dramatic for me. I am even considering a change in Genre! Fascinating process using AI: we developed characterizations together. Lol.
MOVIE TITLE: Hell of a wedding

Lead Character Name: Lily
Role: Protagonist bride
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
The range of emotion needed to be convincing. Playing straight in a black comedy. An anti-hero demonstrating naïve vulnerability and cunning mischief.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
The transformational journey from sweet underdog bride to diabolical manipulator, transform from a peace-seeking bride to an instigator in her own family’s chaos offers an intriguing arc that could steal the show.
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
Constructing a “very” green wedding. Attempting to quiet her divorced parents’ hatred. Enacting/manipulating pranks that contribute to her parents’ destruction, like replacing family heirlooms with fake, explosive replicas or “accidentally” pitting her parents against each other through mixed-up wedding arrangements.
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
She is an environmental activist in the truest sense willing to upset the traditional wedding norms by creating an over-the-top green wedding and willing to do anything to defend her opinion.
What could be this character’s emotional range?
A sweet subservient apologetic female underdog to a shrewd scheming aggressive protector and top dog. From innocence to dark thrills.
What subtext can the actor play?
Using the defense of her “green wedding” as a metaphor for her wanting to live a simple clean life without all the trappings of wealth and greed. Beneath her bridal bliss is a desire for revenge on her controlling parents. Her calm demeanor masks deep resentment, allowing the actress to show subtle expressions that hint at her manipulative intentions.
What’re the most interesting relationships this character can have?
Her relationship with Izzy and Frankie, the parents, is a perfect mix of love and hate. Her groom/husband (Coop) with whom she shares the same world view and decisions: her dynamic with him grows subtly darker as she becomes more aware of his strange tendencies. Her grandfather (Nico), who is the only person she can turn to for advice.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
By planning her green wedding and defending it to the death, her dialogue balances politeness and biting sarcasm, with under-the-breath comments and asides that show her growing disillusionment and newfound thirst for vengeance.
What could make this character special and unique?
Her contemporary vision for a perfect environmentally protected world is championed by her need for perfection in everything she does, including the perfect pranks to drive her parents over the edge.

Lead Character Name: Isabella (Izzy) Capizzi
Role: Antagonist mom – one half of Lily’s bitterly divorced parents
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
The opportunity to represent a modern woman at the top of her game who has no need for a man in her life and welcomes the challenge to humiliate and defeat her ex-husband to prove the point. Each parent is a comedic powerhouse in their own right, carrying unresolved grievances and aiming to sabotage the wedding in the pettiest, most hilarious ways possible. They’re both unapologetically flawed and outrageous, making them scene-stealers.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
She projects herself as a concerned affluent professional but beneath that shell she’s: diabolical, jealous, vengeful, deadly, and a waiting heir to a pizza restaurant empire whose dad reluctantly wants to leave her.
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
Creating traditional wedding obstacles to Lily’s green wedding plans. Exchanging cutting dialogue with her ex-husband. Instigating pranks, some dangerous, to outshine and humiliate her ex. Some funny related pizza scenes (pizza queen).
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
Forlorn woman who seizes control of her own future by 1. Spray painting her cheating husband’s prized car, and 2. Running a successful hair salon, and 3. Fending off her connection to Capizzi Pizzeria.
What could be this character’s emotional range?
Measured cautious and cold to reckless hysterical, impassioned and deadly.
What subtext can the actor play?
She uses her professionalism and tact as control devices. Both parents project their past disappointments onto their child’s wedding, reliving their marital issues and wielding subtle, venomous digs, while feeling a mix of love and resentment towards the bride.
What’re the most interesting relationships this character can have?
Her dominance over Lily (daughter). Her war with Frankie (the ex). Her battle over the Capizzi Pizzeria empire with Nico (grandad). Her approval of Coop (groom).
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
By overshadowing Lily’s wishes, Nico’s wishes, and going to physical war with Frankie. Blunt and loud.
What could make this character special and unique?
Making her tomboyish, yet comically cultured. Her need for control. Her deadly pranks against Frankie that get out of control. A nightmare parent and wife.

Lead Character Name: Frankie
Role: Antagonist dad – other half of bitterly divorced parents
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
He plays a lowly hood/absent dad who gets to fix everything he broke in life. He also gets to take a swipe at the family responsible for his absence by going to war with his ex.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
He’s a part of the dysfunction in the family: always the target of hate by Nico the pizza empire owner and the inherited hate by Izzy, his ex/Nico’s daughter. He’s been absent for 25 years, so expect anything from him. He is the enemy of Izzy (ex-wife) in their war. Each parent is a comedic powerhouse in their own right, carrying unresolved grievances and aiming to sabotage the wedding in the pettiest, most hilarious ways possible. They’re both unapologetically flawed and outrageous, making them scene-stealers.

What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
Robbing banks and giving the money to Lily (daughter). Returning home after 25-year absence. Sabotaging Izzy (ex-wife) with running pranks. Attempting to create “green” decorations for the green wedding. Dancing with Izzy before they murder each other.
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
Aging lowly hood pulling bank jobs to feel needed: he saves the cash for his estranged daughter out of guilt. He complains about all the physical ailments of growing old and poor and alone, seeking happiness.
What could be this character’s emotional range?
Sad and lonely and guilty, caring with a robin hood mentality, very patient to joyous, repentant, sinister and violent and quick tempered with uncontrollable vengeance.
What subtext can the actor play?
He projects his guilt outwardly to disguise his buried anger at life and past disappointments onto their child’s wedding, reliving their marital issues and wielding subtle, venomous digs, while feeling a mix of love and resentment towards the bride.
What’re the most interesting relationships this character can have?
Compensating Lily (daughter) for his neglect. His ongoing feud and payback with Nico (his ex-father-in-law). Going to war with Izzy (his ex). Leaning into Coop (groom) for information.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
A product of the streets: Irish heritage versus Italian heritage. Always looking for an angle to succeed instead of good old fashion work. Passive-aggressive.
What could make this character special and unique?
Uncultured on the outside but highly intellectual and clever on the inside: could hold his own against any Ivy Leaguer. He believes in the law of the land. A nightmare parent and husband!

Lead Character Name: Coop(er)
Role: Groom/husband – Romantic partner
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
Mysterious profile: a man with a secret history and no family to speak of. He walks a fine line between truth and fiction: could be a closet serial killer or just an opportunist seeking riches. Enjoys harming/torturing animals. Intriguingly villainous.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
Every action he takes points to a hidden agenda and secrecy. He adds an eerie tension to every scene.
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
His pretentious affection and support for Lily. His torture of animals. His sadistic ideas used to trick Frankie and Izzy into harming each other. His personal care for Nico (the pizza empire owner). Spiking drinks. Displaying dead/injured animals.
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
Introduced late to the action, but from then on, he becomes the audience target of suspicion, disgust, and overall threat to the characters in the story. Wearing a smirk.
What could be this character’s emotional range?
Loving, caring, charming, and amusing to deceitful, harmful, dangerous, and detached.
What subtext can the actor play?
His shifting duplicity between charm and torment belies a dark hidden agenda from his past. Underneath his gentle smiles, he relishes every chaotic moment, revealing his secret pleasure in watching others’ misfortunes—a twisted view that grows more pronounced as the story progresses.
What’re the most interesting relationships this character can have?
His bride-to-be, Lily, who he leads, or misleads, depending on his secret motives. The parents, Frankie and Izzy, who he scapegoats into murdering each other. Nico (rich grandfather) who he charms with superficiality. Layers of manipulation.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
Like the charming snake he is– soft spoken and seducing. Too perfect and saccharine.
What could make this character special and unique?
If he was a closet serial killer, or at least a serial killer in the making. His twisted fascination with harm.

Lead Character Name: Nico
Role: Foil – Rich Grandfather and dad to Izzy (pizza empire owner)
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
This role offers an actor the chance to play a jaded, wealthy patriarch who views the entire wedding as a joke and exerts his influence in dry, comedic ways, ultimately serving as a wry observer of the family’s collapse.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
As a character who has seen it all and cares little for convention, his blunt honesty and quick wit make him one of the funniest and most unfiltered characters, a foil for everyone else’s pretensions.
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
The grandfather might bribe the parents to keep quiet, send the groom disapproving “pep talks,” or even drop deadpan one-liners that deflate tense situations.
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
He could enter in a grand, unapologetically extravagant manner, like arriving in a luxury car while dismissing the wedding theme as “quaint,” setting the stage for his unapologetically detached attitude.
What could be this character’s emotional range?
The grandfather ranges from indifference to mild amusement to, perhaps, a begrudging fondness for his granddaughter, allowing for hints of warmth amid his cynicism.
What subtext can the actor play?
His nonchalance masks his frustration with his family’s ineptitude, making him an intriguing mix of arrogance and apathy. His comments often contain veiled critiques of his daughter and ex-son-in-law.
What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
His relationship with the bride is unique—part supportive, part dismissive, but ultimately loyal in his own way. He’s more parental towards her than either of her parents, seeing her as the only “sane” one.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
He speaks with a blend of sarcasm and deadpan humor, unfiltered and often shockingly honest, making him a character who speaks what everyone else is thinking. And very Italian!
What could make this character special and unique?
As a blunt, wealthy eccentric with little care for social norms, the grandfather stands out as a no-nonsense voice, grounding the story’s chaos with his wry observations who doesn’t like the Irish.

[Frank Gaide]

SUBJECT LINE: Frank’s actor attractors for “War of the Roses”.

I see myself writing two great, marketable screenplays every year going forward and teaming up with a manager/friend. Short term, I imagine a very difficult but valuable and rewarding six months going balls to the wall in this class.
Completing this assignment, I fell in love with this assignment. I know that there’s more to discover using this tool: I believe the more I use it the more I can pinpoint clearer answers to the nine questions. But wow! I already see myself applying this lesson to my story. I discovered a new excitement doing this!
MOVIE TITLE: War of the Roses
LEAD CHARACTER NAME: Barbara
Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
Female lead who can compete with men on the same level: smart, physical, battle worn, guided by wealth, participate in a risky dark comedy about marriage.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
Even though she does not have the Harvard education of her husband, she can match his smarts and wit step for step. Even through escalating violence she has more grit than him… to the end.
What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
Her charming quick love affair from zero to sixty with two children in tow. Wanting total possession over everything she created. Decorating. Cooking/catering. Surprising admission of divorcing her husband. Escalating pranks. Use of seduction. Refusal to surrender anything.
How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
She’s a hard-working gal in a man’s world who shows she can out smart an intelligent guy by purchasing the antique. She’s in total control of her future by deciding to have sex with him right off! Damn the consequences. She’s ready to compete.
What is this character’s emotional range?
Caring, loving, even gifting to her husband without gifting to herself to a confident, determined, self-supporting women who charges into a violent battle to the death with her husband to protect her accumulated wealth.
What subtext can the actor play?
She can use her sexuality and physical prowess as a weapon when addressing female weakness in front of men.
What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?
Husband. Her husband’s attorney buddy. Her children.
How is this character’s unique voice presented?
Straight, no-nonsense individual raising her family not afraid of hard work to succeed and pitch-in for the greater good of all. What you see is what you get kind of gal. Without pretense.
What makes this character special and unique?
Hard working, determined female in a man’s world with little education who builds her own career after building a family and decorating her home and has the courage and ability to go toe to toe with a man, even physically fighting with each other, to keep what she worked so hard for.
(Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
The wife is throwing a gourmet dinner at home for her top clientele when her drunken, angry, violent husband ruins all the food in front of her guests. In retaliation she drives her 4-wheel truck into and over her husband’s prize sports car, completely crushing it and almost killing him.

LEAD CHARACTER NAME: Jonathan
Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
Co-star with an A lister: sophisticated, smart, guided by wealth, participate in a risky dark comedy about marriage.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
Charming, handsome, rich, educated with an eye for culture and can go from extremely mannered and caring to maniacal and deadly.
What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
Spoiled with wealthy objects: car. His knowledge and hobby for antiques that have future monetary value. Harvard education. Kiss ass approach to success with his boss. His determination to out-prank his wife: cut off his nose to spite himself. Self-righteousness. Even after going to war with his wife, he wants to reconcile for love’s sake,
How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
He’s smart, sophisticated: dabbles in antiques, but not afraid to work with his hands. Carefree and adventuress living on Nantucket. Victim of instant sexual attraction: love at first site: sex.

What is this character’s emotional range?
Loving, caring, compassionate but spoiled to a raving violent maniac who attempts to hurt and kill his wife and everything she cares about.
What subtext can the actor play?
He is shrewd, always scheming behind everyone’s back to get what he wants in life.
What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?
His wife. His attorney buddy. His children. His boss.
How is this character’s unique voice presented?
Air of elitism and privilege and self-righteousness from Harvard. Sophistication through collecting antiques.
What makes this character special and unique?
The fact that a highly educated and somewhat sophisticated calm man can turn into a raving maniac, losing complete control of his mental faculties and reverting to primal instinct to prove he knows best.
End of the story in total loss of control and about to kill his wife, he teases her with a priceless antique, then smashes it in anger, then attempts to physically harm her. But she gets the best of him smashing his face and pushing him down the stairs. She is about to fall to her death over a collapsed second floor railing and jumps to a hanging chandelier. Her life is still in danger, he comes to her aid to save her still after they both have lost their minds and have attempted to murder each other. The light still crashes to the floor lobby, and he reaches out to her and secures her hand in a loving caress before dying and she simply takes his hand and throws it away like she wants nothing to do with him, even in death.
(Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
End of the story in total loss of control and about to kill his wife, he teases her with a priceless antique, then smashes it in anger, then attempts to physically harm her. But she gets the best of him smashing his face and pushing him down the stairs. She is about to fall to her death over a collapsed second floor railing and jumps to a hanging chandelier. Her life is still in danger, he comes to her aid to save her still after they both have lost their minds and have attempted to murder each other. The light still crashes to the floor lobby, and he reaches out to her and secures her hand in a loving caress before dying and she simply takes his hand and throws it away like she wants nothing to do with him, even in death.

[Frank Gaide]

FRANK’S GENRE CONVENTIONS

I can see myself writing two great, marketable screenplays every year going forward and teaming up with a manager/friend. Short term, I imagine a very difficult but valuable and rewarding six months going balls to the wall in this class.
Completing this assignment, I discovered the time and commitment needed to apply the Genre Convention list: the elements helped me brainstorm… for the better. I have a problem with my genre: dark comedy: it is not straight comedy. So, I will run my AI structure version of a dark comedy through the AI prompt asking it to evaluate the story as a thriller and review the results. What I learned most was how many potential scenes came to mind while concentrating strictly on the structure. It was very difficult to ignore. But I do have a growing list of possible scenes now.

TITLE: The Cake Did It!
CONCEPT: A bride’s wedding plan is hijacked by her bitterly divorced parents’ feud, so she decides to give them a push—into killing each other.
GENRE: Dark Comedy

COMEDY CONVENTIONS:
Purpose: To entertain the audience with a story packed with laughter-inducing moments.
Incongruence: Some aspects of the journey, world, characters, or perspective are incongruent in a way that causes the audience to laugh. The unconventional way of pairing two things, people, or situations in a way that causes laughter.
Mechanics of Comedy: Specific devices are used to induce laughter: primarily the Setup/Punchline. Also, devices like toppers, running gags, site and prop humor. This also includes comedic situations like “Fish Out of Water”, Incongruent Pairings, Hilarious Purpose, Absurd Situation, Misinterpretation, etc.
Comedic Protagonist(s): Whether deliberately funny or the “Straight man “of the story, the Protagonist triggers countless amusing situations through their incongruent perspectives, choices, and reactions to events.
Strong Story: Comedy is not enough! You need a story that keeps us engaged throughout the movie

GENRE IMPROVEMENTS: Ways I built comedy conventions into my structure.
1. Over-the-top absurdity of what a green wedding looks like versus a traditional wedding.
2. The serious traditional policeman reacting to this visually weird wedding while interviewing Gerald, the groom, who thinks it’s all normal.
3. Hilarious “green wedding” props and their purpose.
4. Humorous cutting sarcasm between the parents is funny but underscores their criticism of Lucy, their daughter, that is not funny.
5. Funny setups and punchlines delivered by the parents and guests poke fun at Lucy’s wedding theme.
6. Farcical running gags and physical pranks between everyone.
7. Outlandish satirical cause of the parents’ death that is expected but totally surprising.
8. Running gags, toppers, and punchlines from injured wedding guests hint at who to blame. Blame it on the cake!
NEW STRUCTURE WITH GENRE IMPROVEMENTS: The Cake Did It…!
ACT 1
OPENING:
A chaotically absurd lakeside campground scene: overturned tables, wedding guests dazed, a cake-smeared brawl zone, and over-the-top paramedics treating injuries as though it’s a war zone. The local police interview Gerald, the groom, who’s nervously explaining the series of unfortunate events. The bodies of Lucy’s parents, Vivian and Frankie, lie on the grass next to the crushed wedding cake, their faces covered in icing, which almost makes their deaths look ridiculous.
Gerald, with comedic exasperation, narrates how the whole catastrophe started.
Flashbacks start:
Frankie cheated on Vivian, prompting her to deface his SUV with obscenities like “Cheater Mc Loser” in neon green spray paint. He fled to Florida. Lucy then moved to Cape Cod to work in green energy. Lucy’s idealistic protest deforestation ends with her falling out of a tree. Her quirky yet self-righteous personality emerges as she lectures the media on the value of “saving the trees,” despite being injured in the process.
INCITING INCIDENT:
Vivian, flipping through Lucy’s wedding invitation at her hair salon, sarcastically narrates her outrage to her clients. Lucy’s insistence on an eco-friendly, “green wedding” irks Vivian. She calls Lucy, lambasting her for not choosing the Ritz and scoffing at her idealism. Lucy is literally in a tree protesting during this call, showcasing her absurd commitment to saving the environment. When Vivian throws down the challenge for Lucy to call her father for help, she does so just to prove her mother wrong.
Surprisingly, Frankie jumps at the chance to return, eager to spite Vivian and alleviate his guilt. This sets up the return of the long-absent, clumsy, carefree father who could care less about the environment.
TURNING POINT:
Frankie’s arrival at the train station is comically awkward. He’s carrying a ridiculous amount of luggage, much of it in plastic bags, blatantly ignoring Lucy’s eco-values. Their reunion is stilted but forced with humor as Lucy tries to stay positive. Frankie, oblivious, praises her for “becoming a tree-hugger,” unknowingly offending her.
When they arrive at the campground, Vivian’s entrance is explosively dramatic. Dressed to the nines, she sneers at everything green and proceeds to belittle Frankie, launching into comically passive-aggressive insults. This sets the tone for their continuous warfare.
ACT 2
NEW PLAN:
Lucy’s naïve optimism leads her to attempt to rekindle an old friendship between her parents. She imagines they’ll set aside their differences for the greater cause: her perfect eco-wedding. She envisions them helping with biodegradable decorations and guilt-ridden speeches about love and unity. However, this plan fails in a series of hilarious mishaps. Vivian refuses to touch anything eco-friendly, calling it “garbage with extra steps.” Frankie, meanwhile, is bumbling and clueless, causing accidents, knocking over the eco-friendly flower arrangements, and setting compostable plates on fire.
PLAN OF ACTION:
Lucy now insists her parents work together, assigning them comical tasks like figuring out how to set up solar-powered decorations and making “eco-friendly wedding favors” from recycled materials. Every attempt leads to greater disaster. Their sabotage escalates comedically: Vivian pours vinegar into Frankie’s organic wine, while Frankie fills her gluten-free cupcakes with laxatives. Lucy’s dream of a perfect wedding starts falling apart in absurdly hilarious ways.
MIDPOINT TURNING POINT:
Gerald arrives, his calm, deadpan humor balancing out the chaos. He witnesses the embarrassing display of Lucy’s forced diplomacy. She’s practically groveling for her parents to behave, but they only mock her earnestness. He pulls her aside, suggesting they keep her parents comically separated for the rest of the wedding preparations. They begin a series of elaborate attempts to juggle the two combatants, involving absurdly timed entrances/exits and communication through third parties like the perpetually confused best man. Despite this, their outlandish pranks continue escalating.
ACT 3
RETHINK EVERYTHING:
After a series of disastrous attempts to separate them, Lucy’s frustration reaches a boiling point. Her parents have turned the wedding into a personal battleground, and now guests are gossiping about the growing feud. Lucy and Gerald’s efforts to mediate are laughably futile. Pranks evolve into actual attempts to sabotage key wedding moments: Vivian puts a tarantula in Frankie’s suit jacket, while Frankie hires a Mariachi band to drown out Vivian’s toast. Lucy watches her green wedding dream morph into a circus, and she realizes that nothing short of drastic action will save it.
A NEW PLAN:

Lucy and Gerald craft an elaborate scheme to push her parents into going too far. In a surreal twist of logic, she reasons that they won’t stop until one of them is truly defeated. The absurdity of her plan reflects her descent into dark comedic territory. She concocts increasingly dangerous situations under the guise of wedding traditions, leading to increasingly risky pranks. The guests are oblivious to the stakes, enjoying the escalating drama like a reality show.
TURNING POINT: HUGE FAILURE/MAJOR SHIFT:
Lucy hits rock bottom after a particularly dangerous prank backfires. Her self-disgust at how far she’s gone makes her realize she’s become just as toxic as her parents. However, instead of retreating, this dark moment pushes her to fully embrace her new, more selfish, and ruthless side. She now decides, with Gerald’s encouragement, to push them to literally kill each other.
ACT 4
CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT:
The Wedding Day arrives, complete with unpredictable rain showers. The tension between her parents reaches its peak during the cake-cutting ceremony. Guests are watching eagerly as the parents, egged on by Lucy’s provocations, start a comically vicious shoving match. Cake flies, and chaos ensues. In the ensuing brawl, Frankie and Vivian escalate their pranks into actual violence—slipping on cake, getting tangled in eco-friendly decorations, and hilariously bashing each other with chairs.
RESOLUTION:
Back to the present. Gerald finishes his account to the police. Lucy’s parents lie dead, their faces still smeared with cake, with a touch of absurdity and poetic justice. The police, bewildered by the absurd circumstances, chalk it up to “a series of unfortunate accidents.” Gerald exits, joining Lucy by the lake. As he comforts her, we see him subtly discard the vial of poison, confirming he was behind their deaths, but it’s delivered with a wink and nod to the audience, adding to the dark humor. The final image of the sun breaking through the clouds suggests that, ironically, the day is finally perfect.

[Frank Gaide]

FRANK’S FOUR ACT TRANFORMATIONAL STRUCTURE

I can see myself writing two great, marketable screenplays every year going forward and teaming up with a manager/friend. Short term, I imagine a very difficult but valuable and rewarding six months going balls to the wall in this class.
Completing this assignment, I discovered my idea of 4 acts is very different from the AI versions. I say versions because I changed elements numerous times to see what changes would be created. I learned that all the AI versions continually shifted my progression of events: moving some key twists closer to the midpoint. This exercise gives me food for thought. Just must decide what I can use with my vision, or not. I’m also having fun changing-up the AI input. The danger is I could do this forever!

CONCEPT: A bride’s wedding plan is hijacked by her divorced parents’ feud, so she decides to give them a push—into killing each other.
MAIN CONFLICT: An insecure bride, Lucy, defends her green wedding against her bitterly divorced parents who slowly hijack her perfectly laid plans without regret or reason. So, Lucy plans to send them to an early grave to stop them cold.
OLD WAYS:
– Pleased everyone but herself.
– Afraid of authority.
– Subservient. Insecure about speaking her mind.
– Would let everyone go in front of her.
– Never protected what she cared about most.
– Perfectionist.
NEW WAYS:
– Fearless to protect her green wedding plans.
– Stands up to her controlling parents.
– Defends herself and her groom/husband.
– Confident to make the tough decision killing her parents.
– Perfectionist.
ACT 1
OPENING: A lakeside campground wrecked with overturned tables, chairs, wedding guests recovering from a brawl, ambulance attendants examining people, and the local police on the scene interviewing Gerald, the groom, near the dead parents of Lucy, the bride, laid out on the lawn next to a crushed wedding cake.
Groom tells Lucy’s story from when her dad, Frankie, cheated on his wife, Vivian: to how Vivian painted his SUV with curses: to Lucy moving to Cape Cod working for green energy: to Lucy falling from a tree while protesting and saving its removal. The police remembered her injury.
INCITING INCIDENT: Gerald’s story moves into a real time flashback of events. Vivian reads a wedding invitation in her hands while working at her hair salon with customers. Lucy receives a phone call from Vivian while Lucy is in that tree. Her mother is angry and adamant about not having a green wedding, demanding it be held at the Ritz. Vivian Challenges Lucy to call her dad, Frankie, because she figures he will never come back from Florida to help Lucy. Frankie is an absent father. But Frankie agrees to come and help Lucy to spite his ex-wife, Vivian.
TURNING POINT: Lucy meets with her dad again after many years apart and we learn about her passion for a green world. Frankie learns about her green wedding when Lucy picks him up from the train station and drives him to the rented campground on Cape Cod. This is when Frankie and Vivian meet for the first time in decades and their obvious mutual hate begins. This upsets Lucy, bringing back old memories she can’t deal with.
ACT 2
NEW PLAN: Now that her bitterly divorced parents are here at the campground, Lucy tries to help them be friends again.
PLAN OF ACTION: She instructs them how to help her put together all the unfamiliar green elements of her eco wedding. Perhaps they can work together and put aside their animosity and differences for the good of her dream wedding. They try but fail. We are introduced to what a true green wedding is with all the unusual eco saving elements. But Vivian refuses to help. Frankie is too clumsy. And the parents’ only goal becomes to hurt each other.
MIDPOINT TURNING POINT: Groom, Gerald, arrives at the campground. After witnessing how difficult and upsetting the bitterly divorced behavior is for Lucy to deal with her parents in a rational friendly way, he suggests that they simply keep the parents away from each other until after the wedding day.
ACT 3
RETHINK EVERYTHING: Lucy with Gerald’s help keep Frankie and Vivian from seeing each other as best they can. But now that the parents don’t really know what the other is scheming, they each begin sabotaging each other with outlandish pranks to get the best of one another. Their childish behavior soon steals all of the guest’s attention away from Lucy’s perfect wedding, and Lucy can see how she is losing the one thing that she treasures most: her wedding.
A NEW PLAN: Lucy, with Gerald’s backing, tries to convince her parents to leave the wedding plans that are ongoing in the campground and stay at local motels until the big wedding day. But they refuse, become angry at Lucy and Gerald. So, Lucy baits them into exchanging the most dangerous and outlandish pranks yet. But even this won’t get them to leave the campground.
TURNING POINT: HUGE FAILURE/MAJOR SHIFT: Lucy is at her lowest, feeling defeated, and estranged from both parents. But she discovers a meanness within herself from watching her parents’ war evolve. To rescue her wedding day, she must be bolder than even her parents, more independent, more selfish and in control of her destiny. She decides with Gerald to trick her parents into killing each other during the wedding ceremony and end her parents’ misery forever.
ACT 4
CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT: The Wedding Day progresses through off and on rain showers. Lucy is conflicted whether to go through with her plan to have her parents kill each other, or not. Guests are enjoying themselves even though Frankie and Vivian are becoming increasingly more annoying. With the cutting of the cake, Frankie and Vivian finally get into a shoving match on the dance floor. Lucy exits embarrassed. Gerald offers her parents slices of cake to hopefully get them to relax and begin a truce. Her parents push the cake into each other’s face. The wedding escalates into a brawl between guests.
RESOLUTION: The real time flashback ends. We are back with the police interviewing Gerald, the groom. The parents lay on the ground dead with cake smeared across their faces. Gerald’s story of events ends. The police attribute the deadly aftermath to a series of sad events between the parents that no one, even Lucy or Gerald, could have prevented. Gerald exits the immediate area and joins a distraught, Lucy, reflecting on events by a nearby lake. As he comforts her, he tosses a vial of poison into the water. Lucy admits she could not go through with it. Gerald repeats the police investigator’s belief that the parents simply brought upon their own deaths by choking on the cake.

4-Act Transformational Structure for The Cake Did It!
________________________________________
Old Ways
Lucy is a perfectionist bride, struggling with insecurity and always caving to her domineering, bitterly divorced parents. She wants to please everyone, including her parents, and is unable to stand up for herself or protect her wedding vision.
________________________________________
Act 1:
• Opening:
Lucy is happily planning her perfect green wedding, a lakeside event with an eco-friendly theme. She meticulously organizes everything, but her divorced parents, Vivian and Frankie, are an uncontrollable feud waiting to erupt. Vivian wants the wedding to be luxurious, pushing for a Ritz Carlton Boston venue, while Lucy insists on her green vision, and her father Frankie reluctantly agrees to attend to financially help out, although his main reason for being there is guilt.
• Inciting Incident:
Vivian and Frankie arrive at the lakefront campground for the wedding weekend. Their hostility toward each other immediately disrupts Lucy’s plans. Vivian criticizes the entire wedding setup, trying to force her preferences, and Frankie retaliates, fueling their ongoing war. Lucy starts to lose control over her wedding as her parents’ feud escalates.
• Turning Point:
Lucy, realizing she can’t manage the situation, turns to her groom Eric, who begins subtly suggesting that Lucy may need to take more drastic measures to keep control of her wedding. For now, Lucy still clings to the hope that she can fix things without violence.
________________________________________
Act 2:
• New Plan:
With Eric’s encouragement, Lucy decides to enlist Frankie to counterbalance Vivian’s aggression. She hopes that by playing her parents against each other, she can regain control of her wedding without direct confrontation. She tries to pit them against each other strategically, thinking this might diffuse the situation.
• Plan in Action:
Lucy’s attempt to manage the feud backfires. Her parents sabotage each other at every turn, escalating their rivalry to more extreme and even violent levels. The physical and emotional attacks between them start affecting the entire wedding party. Lucy feels trapped as her perfect wedding crumbles around her.
• Midpoint Turning Point:
Lucy reaches her breaking point when the sabotages become dangerous and disruptive, overshadowing the wedding entirely. Eric steps in with a bold suggestion: if Lucy wants to regain her happiness, she might need to get rid of her parents for good. This dark notion sparks a shift in Lucy, and she starts contemplating killing her parents to stop the chaos, but she’s still hesitant.
________________________________________
Act 3:
• Rethink Everything:
Lucy begins to seriously consider Eric’s plan. She’s at her lowest, realizing her parents’ toxic behavior has controlled her life, and now it’s ruining the most important day of her life. She starts to see that if she doesn’t act, she may lose more than her wedding; she could lose her future happiness with Eric.
• New Plan:
Lucy hatches a plan to manipulate her parents’ mutual hatred, pushing them into a final, fatal confrontation after the ceremony. She convinces herself that their deaths will be an “accidental” result of their own behavior, and this will finally allow her to take control of her life.
• Turning Point: Huge Failure / Major Shift:
At the last moment, Lucy balks at the idea of killing her parents. She doesn’t go through with the plan. However, during a particularly heated altercation between Vivian and Frankie, they inadvertently kill each other by smothering one another with the wedding cake. Lucy is left stunned by the accidental outcome, feeling conflicted between relief and horror.
________________________________________
Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict:
Lucy is emotionally paralyzed as she watches her parents die in front of her, realizing she didn’t need to take the final step to kill them—they destroyed each other without her help. Eric steps in, calming Lucy and reassures her that she’s not responsible for their deaths, attributing it to a “natural” chain of events, which brings Lucy a measure of closure.
• Resolution:
Eric, ever the clever partner, discreetly disposes of the evidence (the cake, the “murder weapon”) without Lucy’s knowledge. The couple drives away from the wedding, leaving behind the chaos. Lucy, now a married bride, has transformed. She’s gained confidence, learned to stand up for herself, and embraced the idea that sometimes, letting things happen as they naturally would is enough. In the end, she feels both liberated from her parents’ toxic control and proud that she didn’t actively take their lives.
________________________________________
New Ways
Lucy now embodies the traits she once lacked. She is fearless in protecting her green wedding ideals, stands up to authority, and is willing to defend what she cares about most—even if it means making hard, morally ambiguous decisions. Her journey from subservience to empowerment is complete, and she now stands on equal footing with Eric, ready to face whatever comes next with newfound confidence.

[Frank Gaide]

LESSON 4 !!!!!

FRANK’S SUBTEXT PLOT

I can see myself writing two great, marketable screenplays every year going forward and teaming up with a manager/friend. Short term, I imagine a very difficult but valuable and rewarding six months going balls to the wall in this class.
Completing this assignment, I discovered a solid foundation for creating subtext plots to support the central storyline. The lesson forced me to really dig deep, searching for and understanding how the hero connects with other characters who become integral in her progression while exploring multiple themes. AI element supported my original ideas and offered more creative decisions to consider.
My Subtext Plots:
1. Superior Position: Heavy on dramatic irony, the audience (is privy to) follows the Hero, Lucy’s, step by step plan to have her unsuspecting parents’ use their mutual hatred to kill each other.
2. Scheme and Investigation: The story of the murder at the wedding ceremony is told to a detective on the scene by the groom, Gerald. As the storyline drifts between the past and the present, Gerald jockeys with the detective over conjecture and unproven allegations to protect his new wife, Lucy.
3. Competitive Agendas: The main storyline involves the bride, Lucy, struggling to keep control of her green wedding against her domineering parents who are slowly hijacking her plans. The warring parents compete on a purely basic level of hatred with simple jabs; but the feud eventually gets out of hand when the innocent jabs turn into out-of-mind, dangerous pranks to outdo each other. Lucy is unable to compete with the attention her parents are drawing and decides to help them kill each other.

[Frank Gaide]

FRANKS SUBTEXT PLOT

I can see myself writing two great, marketable screenplays every year going forward and teaming up with a manager/friend. Short term, I imagine a very difficult but valuable and rewarding six months going balls to the wall in this class.

Completing this assignment, I discovered a solid foundation for creating subtext plots to support the central storyline. The lesson forced me to really dig deep, searching for and understanding how the hero connects with other characters who become integral in her progression while exploring multiple themes. AI element supported my original ideas and offered more creative decisions to consider.

My Subtext Plots:

1. Superior Position: Heavy on dramatic irony, the audience (is privy to) follows the Hero, Lucy’s, step by step plan to have her unsuspecting parents’ use their mutual hatred to kill each other.

2. Scheme and Investigation: The story of the murder at the wedding ceremony is told to a detective on the scene by the groom, Gerald. As the storyline drifts between the past and the present, Gerald jockeys with the detective over conjecture and unproven allegations to protect his new wife, Lucy.

3. Competitive Agendas: The main storyline involves the bride, Lucy, struggling to keep control of her green wedding against her domineering parents who are slowly hijacking her plans. The warring parents compete on a purely basic level of hatred with simple jabs; but the feud eventually gets out of hand when the innocent jabs turn into out-of-mind, dangerous pranks to outdo each other. Lucy is unable to compete with the attention her parents are drawing and decides to help them kill each other.

[Frank Gaide]

FRANK’S TRANSFORMATIOAL JOURNEY

I can see myself writing two great, marketable screenplays every year going forward and teaming up with a manager/friend. Short term, I imagine a very difficult but valuable and rewarding six months going balls to the wall in this class.

Completing this assignment, I discovered, or I should state I am discovering, that throughout these lessons the marriage of AI and my creative process is growing with familiarity and reliance. But I am also recognizing that lots of AI information, seemingly endless, is unusable. But for my needs, it brilliantly helps me brainstorm and consider alternative ways of seeing my story progress. For example, in this lesson I had a rock-solid idea of the hero’s elements, but after running it through AI, I decided to add one or two fresh thoughts. Although my input to the AI model was brief in text and perhaps lacked information/explanation, I like how the AI output inserted my brief words into more complex, expanded statements. Bravo. Very helpful. Like a brainstorming session.

LUCY

Arc Beginning: Cowering bride-to-be.
Arc Ending: Confident married bride.

Internal Journey: Afraid, insecure, and kind to positive, confident, and tough.
External Journey: From an insecure, happy bride-to-be planning her perfect green wedding but cowering to her intimidating bossy parents’ behavior to a confident married bride who makes the tough decision to kill her parents and complete her wedding day on a positive note.

Old Ways:
– Pleased everyone but herself.
– Afraid of authority.
– Subservient. Insecure about speaking her mind.
– Would let everyone go in front of her.
– Never protected what she cared about most.
– Perfectionist.
New Ways:
– Fearless to protect her green wedding plans.
– Stands up to her controlling parents.
– Defends herself and her groom/husband.
– Confident to make the tough decision killing her parents.
– Perfectionist.

[Frank Gaide]

FRANK’S INTENTIONAL LEAD CHARACTERS

I can see myself writing two great, marketable screenplays every year going forward and teaming up with a manager/friend. Short term, I imagine a very difficult but valuable and rewarding six months going balls to the wall in this class.

Completing this assignment, I discovered a more complete way to analyze the main character component using step one in your process. The process doesn’t overcomplicate things: all the intricate elements that go into designing/creating a three-dimensional, interesting character made specifically for THIS concept. Yeah, great stuff!

Concept: A bride’s wedding plan is hijacked by her divorced parents’ feud, so she decides to give them a push—into killing each other.

Emily (protagonist) is a nervous bride who desperately wants her “green” wedding to be perfect.

Vivian and Greg (antagonists) are the bitterly divorced parents who go to war with each other hijacking and ruining the perfect “green” wedding.

Eric (third wheel) is the Groom who supports the bride’s idea to kill her parents by using their mutual hate for each other as a catalyst, and the one who secretly poisons them doing the deed without the bride’s knowledge.

[Frank Gaide]

FRANK’S TITLE, CONCEPT, AND TITLE

I can see myself writing two great, marketable screenplays every year going forward and teaming up with a manager/friend. Short term, I imagine a very difficult but valuable and rewarding six months going balls to the wall in this class.

Completing this assignment, I discovered how difficult is for me to choose “the one” concept that I will spend the next 6 months concentrating on. Difficult to leave three for later when I also believe in each greatly. I found myself reviewing every single reason why one was more ready now to pursue: it is a matter of how familiar I am with world in each. Most need serious research just to start the process of writing seriously. But I finally felt most comfortable with THE ONE because of a rich history and familiarity of the subject. I’m grateful for learning how to brainstorm with AI and rationalizing decisions fo the good of marketability.

TITLE: The Cake Did It!

CONCEPT: A bride’s wedding plan is hijacked by her divorced parents’ feud, so she decides to give them a push—into killing each other.

STORY STRUCTURE: Protagonist versus Antagonist

[Frank Gaide]

Hello everyone!

Can anyone please let me know how to locate the "Forum" page to share our assignments? I have contacted the help line for a week now… waiting for solution. Meantime, the assigmnets to post are piling up.

: )

frankieg

• This reply was modified 8 months, 1 week ago by  Frank Gaide.

[Frank Gaide]

Greetings!

My name is Frankie.

I live on Cape Cod after spending years in LA.

Attempting to transition from Production Designer to Writer.

Have written five screenplays: one draft each because I have difficulty rewriting. : (

This is my 5th class with Hal: Looking forward to WIM W/AI because we actually complete four rewrites. : )

Looking forward to everything thrown at us. lol. And of course making friends here.

P.S> I am a retired Boston Firefighter. Slightly older than most of you by, I’m guessing, 30 0r 40 years. But very young at heart!

[Frank Gaide]

1. Your name: Frank Gaide
2. The words: I agree to the terms of this release form.
3. Please leave the entire text below to confirm what you agree to.
OR
NOT AGREE, in which case, you hit “Reply to this topic” and type in the words “I’ll do the class privately.”
If you agree to the terms of the release form, then you can post your assignments into the group and your cohort can give feedback on them.
Also, if you don’t agree to this group confidentiality agreement, you’ll still need to sign an agreement that says you will keep the strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Frank Gaide]

Frank Gaide – Elevated Story Beats

What I learned: Personally have many scenes to improve. LOL. But really, I love this tool. I find if the beat outline is appropriately numbered, I just brainstorm ideas based on the suggestions A through F and plug in order. Great exercise if you’re a profectionist about order!

SCENES TO IMPROVE:

1 – SCENE 13 – HOUSE – GLOUCESTER, MA – MORNING

PURPOSE: To intro main character, Izzy, as a cheating wife and justify her actions by exposing her cruel husband.

BEFORE: Izzy (40s) leaves her mean husband behind in their bankrupt fishing town for a train into Boston searching for work.

AFTER: Izzy tells her husband that she’s taking a train to Boston for work, but sneaks to the pier and exits with Diesel on his fishing boat. The same boat that transferred drugs the night before. They embrace/kiss.

2 – SCENE 22 – EXT. A STREET – SOUTH BOSTON – DAY

PURPOSE: To reveal Fitz as the hardened mob boss with lots of money and power who pleasures in humiliating Fitz, his henchman. And Fitz who’s torn between trust and revenge.

BEFORE: Red and Fitz pick up a duffle from an auto body shop.

AFTER: Red, Fitz, and Stevo park at an auto body shop near the docks.

They unload money from mules and the cash they took from Terri into a private safe. Red chastises Fitz for lack of brains. Fitz and Stevo fill a duffel with cash as Red talks privately on his cell. Stevo consoles Fitz who shrugs.

3 – SCENE 16 – EXT./INT. BOSTON FISH PIER – THE UGLY BOAT – DAY

PURPOSE: Rewrite Izzy and Diesel together in Boston near the North End waterfront after leaving Gloucester and going for a celebratory meal.

BEFORE: The same 40-foot trawler from night before is docked at the deserted pier: everyone home for July 4^th holiday. It’s owner, Diesel (60), organizes crates/containers on the deck. He receives a phone call from Red.

AFTER: The same 40-foot trawler from night before is docked at the deserted pier: everyone home for July 4^th holiday.

Izzy and Diesel organizes crates/containers on the deck. He receives a phone call from Red. He tells her about Red. He looks skeptical, but Izzy is overjoyed. They leave to celebrate in the North End.

4 – SCENE 54 – DEN/GALLEY

PURPOSE: Show the progression of Ronni’s fall into madness and Red’s shared DNA by birth and create a payoff from the earlier setup when Ronni demonstrated his masochistic nature with Rose.

BEFORE: Ronni antagonizes Izzy and Diesel to have sex in front of him and Rose, punishment for trying to kill him.

AFTER: Echoing his previous behavior when becoming jealous of Terri and Rose together, Ronni forces Izzy and Diesel to have sex in front of him and Rose, punishment for trying to kill him.

Rose attempts to protect Izzy and Diesel, suggesting Ronni is sick lie his father, Red. So Ronni goes after Rose.

UPDATED BEAT SHEET:

TITLE: THE UGLY BOAT

1 – (9) EXT. PENINSULA BEACH – CAPE COD – DAWN

As a powerful summer storm cuts out to sea a man cherry picks debris from a shipwreck left behind. A dead body rises into his face!

VO by young married man, Terri, explaining the danger of want for money.

2 – (7) INT./EXT. STATE POLICE VEHICLE – DRIVING – DAWN

Detective (Mick) McSorley (50) and his partner, Detective Boychuk (45) rush to the crime scene on the beach.

3 – (8) EXT. PENINSULA BEACH – MINUTES LATER

Mick and Boychuk join local Sheriff and Police and Harbormaster. They surround the badly burned corpse wondering who it is.

VO by young married man, Terri, ends.

DAY BEFORE

4 – (7) INT. LIQUOR STORE – SOUTH BOSTON, MA – NIGHT

Terri buys a couple beers and teases the old owner, Burt, by stealing half a candy bar. Burt warns him about his future path.

He sees Ronni being attacked and refuses to go outside and help.

5 – (8) EXT. MULLENS CLUB – SOUTH BOSTON, MA – NIGHT

Fitz (40) a brick shithouse and Stevo, a wily old goon (50) beat Ronni (24) with clubs. Ronni’s a big guy for his age. And mean. The beat down ends.

Fitz and Stevo enter the club.

Coast clear, Terri leaves the liquor store and meets Ronni and feigns any knowledge about the beatdown.

6 – (7) INT. MULLENS CLUB – NIGHT

Intro Red, the local mob boss, in shadow with his criminal gang. As they discuss how tough Ronni is, Ronni smashes Red’s car with a liquor bottle.

7 – (7) EXT. GRANARY BURIAL GROUND – BOSTON PROPER – NIGHT

Ronni, his brother, Terri (22), and Ronni’s young moll, Rose (21) steal Paul Revere’s headstone from a tourist cemetery. They plan to sell back to the city of Boston for ransom money… It’s July 4^th!

8 – (6) INT. APARTMENT BASEMENT – NIGHT

Ronni, Terri, and Rose and hide it in the rear of a basement and leave to celebrate.

9 – (8) EXT. BOSTON HARBOR – NIGHT

Miles offshore. We get a first glimpse of Red, meanness personified, as he and his gang oversee a drug smuggling operation between two trawlers. One of them is named ‘The Ugly Boat’.

10 – (7) EXT. STREET – SOUTH BOSTON – NIGHT

Outside Rose’s house. Terri, Ronni and Rose arrive in an Uber, half drunk. Ronni assaults the driver and scares him away without paying the fare.

11 – (8) INT. MULLENS CLUB – NIGHT

After hours. The Old Goon stops beating a guy when Red and Fitz arrive. Red finds his hidden ankle knife and cuts the guy free for giving him needed information about the police drug unit. The guy is a cop. He thanks Red.

12 – (7) INT. ROSE’S APARTMENT – SOUTH BOSTON – NIGHT

Terri, Ronni, and Rose party with booze. Ronni tries to pimp off Rose to Terri. Rose gets pissed. Angry and threatening, Ronni goes to bed.

Terri and Rose wake up early morning. Rose scared she might have crossed a line with Terri. Terri scared to go home to his young wife, Kat.

13 – (7) HOUSE – GLOUCESTER, MA – MORNING

Izzy tells her husband that she’s taking a train to Boston for work.

FISH PIER

But she sneaks to the pier and exits with Diesel on his fishing boat. The same boat that transferred drugs the night before.

14 – (8) EXT. SOUTH BOSTON STREET – MORNING

Walking home Terri is chased by Red, Fitz, and the Old Goon in Red’s smashed car. They tell him that Ronni is a wanted man. Terri gets away, cursing after them.

15 – (7) INT. TERRI’S APARTMENT – MORNING

Run down. Used everything. His young wife, Kat (20), and disabled child, Bryanne (2) don’t believe he was working all night at the Boston Globe newspaper. This is nothing new. It’s destroying the marriage. He sleeps.

16 – (6) EXT./INT. BOSTON FISH PIER – THE UGLY BOAT – DAY

The same 40-foot trawler from night before is docked at the deserted pier: everyone home for July 4^th holiday.

Izzy and Diesel organizes crates/containers on the deck. He receives a phone call from Red. He tells her about Red. He looks skeptical, but Izzy is overjoyed. They leave to celebrate in the North End.

17 – (7) TERRI’S APARTMENT- DAY

Terri awakes and readies for work. Kat is skeptical that he’s hanging around with Ronni and his scams again instead of finding a job. Terri fails to admit the truth about work to Kat. She warns him about leaving their marriage behind.

He makes a solemn promise to meet her at Bryanne’s doctor after work. They make up.

18 – (9) EXT. STREETS – SOUTH BOSTON – DAY

Terri, in his work clothes, is heading back to Ronni at Rose’s apartment. Along the way he drops into various ATMs to collect cash from a “cash trapping” scam.

Red and his goons apprehend him, take what little money Terri has, and beat the shite out of him.

19 – (8) INT./EXT. ROSE’S APARTMENT – DAY

As Ronni and Terri get high on the back porch, they decide to ransom back Paul Revere’s headstone to quiet Red. But the city of Boston doesn’t care if they stole it: they’ll just replace it with another one.

Ronni reveals a scam he’s working with Rose: listing stolen goods online, counterfeit luxury brands. But goods are hard to find. So he has a new plan.

20 – (8) INT. BOUTIQUE NAIL SALON – DAY

Rose gets a phone call from Ronni. Then she intentionally cuts off the tip of a lady’s toe to get out of work early.

21 – (7) EXT. THREE DECKER – ROSE’S HOUSE – DAY

Terri, scared, and Ronni, nonplussed, wait outside until Rose pulls up in an old SUV.

22 – (6) EXT. A STREET – SOUTH BOSTON – DAY

Red, Fitz, and Stevo park at an auto body shop near the docks.

They unload money from mules and the cash they took from Terri into a private safe.

Red chastises Fitz for lack of brains. Fitz and Stevo fill a duffel with cash as Red talks privately on his cell. Stevo consoles Fitz secretly pissed at Red.

23 – (7) EXT. NORTH END STREETS – AQUARIUM – BOSTON – DAY

The North End with hundreds of other tourists. Izzy and Diesel drink bottled beer and celebrate lunch while sitting on a bench in front of the Aquarium watching seals swim while posing for a caricature artist.

24 – (9) EXT./INT. BANK – NORTH END STREETS – DAY

Ronni, Terri, and Rose rob a bank. Escape into the tourist filled streets with police giving chase.

25 – (7) EXT. AQUARIUM – BOSTON – DAY

Diesel and Izzy watch the police cruisers race down the street. Izzy calls Lucca to tell him she’s going to miss the train. Lies that there’s a problem with police at the train station.

26 – (9) EXT. NORTH END STREETS – DAY

Ronni, Terri, and Rose run into a wall of tourists outside Old North Church. Sirens echoing throughout the neighborhood has everyone on edge.

Character actor dressed like Paul Revere sits atop a horse. It frightens and rears up. It causes Ronni to drop the cash. It scatters, lost in the crowd.

27 – (7) EXT. AQUARIUM – BOSTON – DAY

Diesel and Izzy finish a dance with music from a street performer playing a samba and exit in a pedi bike, arms wrapped around each other.

28 – (7) EXT. NORTH END WATERFRONT – DAY

Ronni, Terri, and Rose exit a café rear and run to last street before the waterfront. They stare hopelessly at Boston harbor and the fish pier below.

29 – (8) EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – FISH PIER – DAY

Diesel and Izzy reach the boat. Izzy backs inside, kissing Diesel.

Diesel and Izzy kiss madly when Red and Fitz enter with the duffle. Red discusses their smuggling operation and gives them the money.

All the while, Ronni, Terri, and Rose listen and spy from behind a berth door and decide to overtake Red, et al, when they go outside to inspect the hidden bales of drugs on deck.

Terri is the only member who doesn’t like the idea, but he feels the need to hold onto his family is greater than backing out.

30 – (7) EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – DAY

Ronni cold cocks Diesel with his gun and follows Red and Fitz out to the deck, while Terri and Rose subdue Izzy.

31 – (9) DECK

Ronni beats Red after being insulted and tosses Fitz into the water to drown.

32 – (5) DEN/GALLEY

While Terri and Rose search inside for weapons and money, Diesel’s cell rings. They secure his phone and Izzy’s cell.

33 – (6) FISH DOCK – GLOUCESTER – DAY

Lucca leaves a message asking Diesel to call Izzy and give her a ride home to Gloucester.

34 – (7) EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – DAY

DEN/GALLEY

Ronni and Red return.

Red tied up. Diesel refuses to take the boat out of the harbor. Ronni beats Diesel until Izzy cooperates, and they sail into open water.

35 – (6) EXT. BOSTON FISH PIER – DAY

State Police Operations Command Vehicle trailer sits nearby.

Boston Police with dogs and bicycles surround Detective Mic and Boychuk (from opening scene) who order copies of all surrounding security cameras.

36 – (6) INT./EXT. THE UGLY BOAT – DAY

WHEELHOUSE

Terri and Rose guard Izzy at the wheel as Diesel recovers from injuries. Izzy offers to help them get out this mess. Rose declines.

37 – (6) DECK

Red taunts Ronni. Ronni pushes Red around while inspecting all the illegal drugs. Red, unfazed, attempts to talk Ronni into turning back before it’s too late.

Ronni orders Rose and Diesel out to the deck. They comply.

38 – (6) WHEELHOUSE

Izzy again attempts to convince Terri to let her contact police. Ronni orders them both out to the deck. Izzy puts the boat on auto pilot while Terri secretly observes her every step.

39 – (6) DECK

Red lampoons the situation. His way of insulting everyone individually with satire. Ronni reveals the drugs to Rose and Terri. Diesel is forced to get rid of anything that could be used as a weapon.

Ronni collects everyone’s cellphone except Rose and Terri and goes back to the wheelhouse with Diesel.

40 – (5) WHEELHOUSE

Ronni destroys the SIM cards. Keeps the expensive phones to pawn. Diesel explains navigational instruments, and they talk about where to go with little fuel.

A message comes across the radio that a severe storm is headed their way.

41 – (7) DECK

Terri inspects the deck, net drum, and steel plates. Izzy tries to befriend him about their lives and what they have in common.

Rose, curious about the fish pens, has Izzy and Terri join her to explain they’re empty. When they lean into the space, Izzy reveals a hidden flare pistol to Red that is concealed in a seamless compartment.

Red continues to lampoon Terri and Rose with threats. Rose strikes him.

42 – (6) WHEELHOUSE

Ronni listens for a police broadcast concerning the bank heist. There is none. Diesel tells him that the instrument they need to navigate is a GPS finder. So Ronni rips the wires from all remaining instruments, save radio and GPS.

43 – (6) DECK/WHEELHOUSE

With all weapons tossed overboard, Terri, Rose, Izzy, and Red climb the outside stairs to the wheelhouse.

Terri wants to know Ronni’s plan, but Ronni warns him to be quiet. Izzy taunts Ronni and Terri over who is in charge. Red laughs at their naivete.

44 – (7) INT. STATE POLICE OPERATIONS COMMAND VEHICLE – DAY

Detectives Mick and Boychuk watch security tape and discover Red with the owners of the boat and the trio who robbed the bank. They bring in the Coast Guard to begin a search.

45 – (5) INT. THE UGLY BOAT – NIGHT

WHEELHOUSE

Ronni guards Izzy, Diesel, and Red at the helm as they ride into rough seas.

46 – (5) DEN/GALLEY

As they’re searching for anything to steal, Terri confesses to Rose that he’s nervous about Ronni’s cruel behavior and asks her to talk Ronni into stopping. She refuses, unwilling to see the harm or change in Ronni.

Terri receives a message from Fitz! He survived the drowning and now threatens to kill Terri’s family if Terri doesn’t kill Red. Terri hides the information from Rose.

47 – (5) WHEELHOUSE

Ronni threatens Diesel to remain on course and forces Izzy and Red down into the —

48 – (7) DEN/GALLEY

Terri and Rose retreat to the Den, cautious of Ronni. Ronni has Izzy search for food: no one has eaten for hours by now. While feigning interest, she overhears Ronni ask Terri if he can drive the boat. He plans to deep six them. Terri replies not yet.

Red badgers Ronni and Terri. He tells the room that he’s Ronni father. Terri turns wary of Ronni over the revelation. Ronni doesn’t trust his reaction.

Terri convinces Ronni that Red is the problem. Ronni hands the gun over to Rose and forces Red out to the –

49 – (10) DECK

While arguing, Red pulls his knife on Ronni. They wrestle for the knife before Ronni stabs him to death, tossing his body overboard.

Ronni starts to lose his mind her.

50 – (8) DEN/GALLEY

Everyone is shocked. The situation has become very real now.

51 – (8) WHEELHOUSE

Diesel steers into the storm, waves crashing over the bow. Rose, Terri, and Izzy climb up from below. The atmosphere somber. Rose stares out at the deck.

52 – (9) DECK

Ronni straps life jackets to bales of drugs, a daisy chain. The boat suddenly jerks to the side throwing Ronni over the rail, but he manages to save himself from going over by clenching a halyard.

53 – (9) WHEELHOUSE

Diesel sharply turns the wheel. Rose slaps him with the gun after witnessing Ronni almost get thrown in the water. Was it a ploy? Izzy and Terri swear there was a large object in their path: Diesel turned to avoid it.

An alert from police comes across the radio. Diesel turns down the volume: Izzy understanding he wants Terri and Rose to not hear it. But Terri catches their act and turns up the volume. It reports, everyone on board is considered dangerous.

Ronni returns, angry, blames Terri, but Rose defends Terri’s action when Diesel tried to hide the police alert. He beats Diesel for almost throwing him overboard and orders him, Izzy, and Rose downstairs. Rose objects because they need them to operate the boat. Ronni takes the gun from Rose and tells Terri to operate the boat.

54 – (8) DEN/GALLEY

Echoing his previous behavior when becoming jealous of Terri and Rose together, Ronni forces Izzy and Diesel to have sex in front of him and Rose, punishment for trying to kill him.

Rose attempts to protect Izzy and Diesel, suggesting Ronni is sick lie his father, Red. So Ronni goes after Rose.

55 – (5) WHEELHOUSE

Terri uses what little knowledge he learned by watching Diesel and Izzy and steers the boat. He hears Izzy and Rose screaming from the Den/Galley.

56 – (9) DEN/GALLEY

Terri rushes down the stairs to stop Ronni. Ronni threatens him to kiss Izzy because he thinks they’re “too” friendly. The bow of the boat rises like a roller coaster and slams down. Everyone gets thrown. Ronni loses his gun to the floor. He and Terri eye it, suspicious of each other.

57 – (7) EXT. FISHERMAN’S WHARF – GLOUCESTER – NIGHT

Police tell Izzy’s husband, Lucca, about the situation she’s mixed up with.

58 – (6) EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – NIGHT

WHEELHOUSE

As the boat rides waves like a roller coaster, Ronni stands guard over Diesel holding the gun.

59 – (5) DEN/GALLEY

While making coffee, Izzy suggests to Rose they subdue Ronni because he’s turning psychotic with too much power – and he could possibly hurt Terri.

60 – (6) DECK

Terri is outside fighting the elements searching for more floating devices because Ronni used most of them to protect the drugs.

61 – (6) WHEELHOUSE

The storm batters the boat windshield. Ronni regrets tearing wires from all the navigational equipment. He wants it repaired. Diesel can’t do it.

Terri enters from the outside stairs from the deck. Ronni wants him to fix the wires. He can’t do it either and goes down to the Den/Galley to get Izzy.

62 – (7) DEN/GALLEY

Before bringing coffee up to the wheelhouse, Izzy, Terri, and Rose agree to stop Ronni but only if they don’t hurt him.

63 – (5)WHEELHOUSE

Izzy helps fix the wiring to the navigation screen. Rose returns to the –

64 – (5) DEN

Rose smokes a joint, worried. Gets high. Leaves with a bottle of sambuca.

65 – (7) WHEELHOUSE

Ronni drinks the sambuca. He accuses Rose of being high and worried: but why? Terri and Izzy are nervous she’ll tell Ronni about their plan.

Diesel gets the navigation screen working and Ronni learns what all the information means. He decides they ride straight past the tip of Cape Cod to Rhode Island, and through the heart of the storm.

Ronni takes Terri and Rose downstairs to the den/galley. On passing Izzy she warns him that they can’t be trusted.

66 – (8) DEN/GALLEY

Ronni accuses Terri and Rose of conspiring. Terri gets pissed and returns to the wheelhouse. Ronni rages to Rose. She’s high. He can’t believe she would betray him. He drags her out to the deck.

67 – (5) WHEELHOUSE

Terri and Izzy watch Ronni and Rose on the deck.

68 – (10) DECK

Ronni kills Rose, losing his mind.

69 – (9) WHEELHOUSE

After witnessing the murder, Terri backs out of their plan to subdue Ronni.

Ronni returns, fires a shot over head, and threatens to kill Terri: he holds him responsible for Rose. But he needs everyone to make it through the storm, safely.

70 – (6) INT. COMMAND CENTER – BOSTON COAST GUARD BASE – NIGHT

The search for the boat is suspended. Detectives Mic and Boychuk leave for the Cape Cod CG base and will remain there until the storm clears and search resumes.

71 – (7) EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – NIGHT

The boat struggles against huge, crashing waves. It’s difficult to control for Diesel and Izzy.

72 – (7) WHEELHOUSE

Ronni discovers a second blip on the navigation screen that’s closing in on their location. It could be the Coast Guard. They attempt to outmaneuver possible contact, but the blip keeps following them.

73 – (7) EXT. SMALL PLEASURE CRAFT – NIGHT

A small boat, seeking aide, approaches the Ugly Boat.

74 – (9) EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – SAME

OUTSIDE STAIRS TO DECK

Ronni engages the small boat with gunshots, until the driver flees.

75 – (8) WHEELHOUSE

Ronni enters from the outside stairs. A serious weather alert blasts from the radio reminding them they’re cruising ahead into an already deadly situation. He goes berserk and destroys the radio.

In a psychotic breakdown, he forces everyone to sing a rotating chorus of Row, Row, Your Boat.

76 – (7) INT. TERRI’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Terri’s wife, Kat, learns about the bank robbery via news. She texts Terri and tells him she and the baby are leaving him for good.

77 – (8) EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT

WHEELHOUSE

Ronni humming the song. The boat fighting through the storm.

Terri cries after sending Kat a return text: a desperate plea for her to find cash he’s been saving and leave town without him.

Ronni reads their exchange and tells Terri that he’s better off.

Terri leaves for the deck.

78 – (7) DECK

Enraged, Terri throws bales of drugs into the storm.

79 – (8) WHEELHOUSE

Globs of pot stick to the window. Ronni realizes what it is and storms outside to stop Terri. Izzy goes downstairs into the den/galley.

80 – (10) DECK

Ronni chases Terri. He loses the gun in the ferocious storm. But catches Terri and stabs him with the knife, leaving him for dead.

Izzy sneaks on deck and finds the hidden flare pistol. She aims it at the two of them. But it misses and starts a fire. She escapes Ronni up the outside stairs to the wheelhouse.

81 – (10) WHEELHOUSE

Izzy rushes inside. Diesel helps to barricade the door, but Ronni busts in and knocks him to the floor. Ronni is about to kill him when Terri appears through black smoke and clobbers Ronni over the head.

82 – (10) DECK

Terri and Izzy drag Ronni down the stairs and toss him overboard. He fights to survive but is eventually drowned away by the waves.

Fire consumes everything, including the wheelhouse. Diesel dives outside.

83 – (10) EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT

The boat explodes.

84 – (10) EXT. OCEAN WATER – DAY

The storm is miles away. Terri, badly wounded and burned, floats to a buoy with Izzy who is less injured. They agree on an alibi and to split whatever cash and drugs survived.

As the sound of a rescue helicopter draws near, Izzy forces Terri under water. He drowns.

85 – (9) CAPE COD BEACH – DAY

The storm is miles offshore now. Detective Mic and Boychuk stand over two more damaged bodies: old male and young female, identities unknown. Bundles of drugs washed beside them.

They see the helicopter approaching.

86 – (8) EXT. PENNINSULA BEACH – DAY

Same beach where this story started. The helicopter lands. Izzy is removed by EMTs and questioned by Detectives Mic and Boychuk who are only interested in what happened to Red. She plays the clueless, grieving victim on her way to the hospital.

Detective Mic orders the search for Red to continue.

87 – (7) APARTMENT BASEMENT – DAY

Kat, Terri’s wife, digs deep behind the Paul revere headstone and removes a satchel full of cash. She leaves.

[Frank Gaide]

Frank Gaide – Scene Ratings

What I learned: This is a subjective exercise based on personal taste in story types. But it highlights peaks and valleys throughout each character’s journey. It also reveals story pacing (slow/fast).

RESULTS:

Most ratings 8 and above occur at major plot points: Opening – Inciting Incident – First Turning Point – Midpoint – Second Turning Point – End.

Every rating 6 and below includes passive action and more dialogue.

These ratings correspond to a pattern of action scenes that demonstrate story conceits versus more dialogue heavy scenes that provide subtext. It’s quite a balancing act attempting to get the most out this pattern for the good of entertainment.

TITLE: THE UGLY BOAT

1 – (9) EXT. PENINSULA BEACH – CAPE COD – DAWN

As a powerful summer storm cuts out to sea a man cherry picks debris from a shipwreck left behind. A dead body rises into his face!

VO by young married man, Terri, explaining the danger of want for money.

2 – (7) INT./EXT. STATE POLICE VEHICLE – DRIVING – DAWN

Detective (Mick) McSorley (50) and his partner, Detective Boychuk (45) rush to the crime scene on the beach.

3 – (8) EXT. PENINSULA BEACH – MINUTES LATER

Mick and Boychuk join local Sheriff and Police and Harbormaster. They surround the badly burned corpse wondering who it is.

VO by young married man, Terri, ends.

DAY BEFORE

4 – (7) INT. LIQUOR STORE – SOUTH BOSTON, MA – NIGHT

Terri buys a couple beers and teases the old owner, Burt, by stealing half a candy bar. Burt warns him about his future path.

He sees Ronni being attacked and refuses to go outside and help.

5 – (8) EXT. MULLENS CLUB – SOUTH BOSTON, MA – NIGHT

Fitz (40) a brick shithouse and Stevo, a wily old goon (50) beat Ronni (24) with clubs. Ronni’s a big guy for his age. And mean. The beat down ends.

Fitz and Stevo enter the club.

Coast clear, Terri leaves the liquor store and meets Ronni and feigns any knowledge about the beatdown.

6 – (7) INT. MULLENS CLUB – NIGHT

Intro Red, the local mob boss, in shadow with his criminal gang. As they discuss how tough Ronni is, Ronni smashes Red’s car with a liquor bottle.

7 – (7) EXT. GRANARY BURIAL GROUND – BOSTON PROPER – NIGHT

Ronni, his brother, Terri (22), and Ronni’s young moll, Rose (21) steal Paul Revere’s headstone from a tourist cemetery. They plan to sell back to the city of Boston for ransom money… It’s July 4^th!

8 – (6) INT. APARTMENT BASEMENT – NIGHT

Ronni, Terri, and Rose and hide it in the rear of a basement and leave to celebrate.

9 – (8) EXT. BOSTON HARBOR – NIGHT

Miles offshore. We get a first glimpse of Red, meanness personified, as he and his gang oversee a drug smuggling operation between two trawlers. One of them is named ‘The Ugly Boat’.

10 – (7) EXT. STREET – SOUTH BOSTON – NIGHT

Outside Rose’s house. Terri, Ronni and Rose arrive in an Uber, half drunk. Ronni assaults the driver and scares him away without paying the fare.

11 – (8) INT. MULLENS CLUB – NIGHT

After hours. The Old Goon stops beating a guy when Red and Fitz arrive. Red finds his hidden ankle knife and cuts the guy free for giving him needed information about the police drug unit. The guy is a cop. He thanks Red.

12 – (7) INT. ROSE’S APARTMENT – SOUTH BOSTON – NIGHT

Terri, Ronni, and Rose party with booze. Ronni tries to pimp off Rose to Terri. Rose gets pissed. Angry and threatening, Ronni goes to bed.

Terri and Rose wake up early morning. Rose scared she might have crossed a line with Terri. Terri scared to go home to his young wife, Kat.

13 – (6) HOUSE – GLOUCESTER, MA – MORNING

Izzy (40s) leaves her mean husband behind in their bankrupt fishing town for a train into Boston searching for work.

14 – (8) EXT. SOUTH BOSTON STREET – MORNING

Walking home Terri is chased by Red, Fitz, and the Old Goon in Red’s smashed car. They tell him that Ronni is a wanted man. Terri gets away, cursing after them.

15 – (7) INT. TERRI’S APARTMENT – MORNING

Run down. Used everything. His young wife, Kat (20), and disabled child, Bryanne (2) don’t believe he was working all night at the Boston Globe newspaper. This is nothing new. It’s destroying the marriage. He sleeps.

16 – (6) EXT./INT. BOSTON FISH PIER – THE UGLY BOAT – DAY

The same 40-foot trawler from night before is docked at the deserted pier: everyone home for July 4^th holiday. It’s owner, Diesel (60), organizes crates/containers on the deck. He receives a phone call from Red.

17 – (7) TERRI’S APARTMENT- DAY

Terri awakes and readies for work. Kat is skeptical that he’s hanging around with Ronni and his scams again instead of finding a job. Terri fails to admit the truth about work to Kat. She warns him about leaving their marriage behind.

He makes a solemn promise to meet her at Bryanne’s doctor after work. They make up.

18 – (9) EXT. STREETS – SOUTH BOSTON – DAY

Terri, in his work clothes, is heading back to Ronni at Rose’s apartment. Along the way he drops into various ATMs to collect cash from a “cash trapping” scam.

Red and his goons apprehend him, take what little money Terri has, and beat the shite out of him.

19 – (8) INT./EXT. ROSE’S APARTMENT – DAY

As Ronni and Terri get high on the back porch, they decide to ransom back Paul Revere’s headstone to quiet Red. But the city of Boston doesn’t care if they stole it: they’ll just replace it with another one.

Ronni reveals a scam he’s working with Rose: listing stolen goods online, counterfeit luxury brands. But goods are hard to find. So he has a new plan.

20 – (8) INT. BOUTIQUE NAIL SALON – DAY

Rose gets a phone call from Ronni. Then she intentionally cuts off the tip of a lady’s toe to get out of work early.

21 – (7) EXT. THREE DECKER – ROSE’S HOUSE – DAY

Terri, scared, and Ronni, nonplussed, wait outside until Rose pulls up in an old SUV.

22 – (6) EXT. A STREET – SOUTH BOSTON – DAY

Red and Fitz pick up a duffle from an auto body shop.

23 – (7) EXT. NORTH END STREETS – AQUARIUM – BOSTON – DAY

Izzy wanders into the North End with hundreds of other tourists. She meets Diesel. They embrace/kiss. He tells her about Red. He looks skeptical, but Izzy is overjoyed. They buy a bottle of beer and celebrate lunch while sitting on a bench in front of the Aquarium watching seals swim.

(?caricature portrait / dance to a street performer’s music)

24 – (9) EXT./INT. BANK – NORTH END STREETS – DAY

Ronni, Terri, and Rose rob a bank. Escape into the tourist filled streets with police giving chase.

25 – (7) EXT. AQUARIUM – BOSTON – DAY

Diesel and Izzy watch the police cruisers race down the street. Izzy calls Lucca to tell him she’s going to miss the train. Lies that there’s a problem with police at the train station.

26 – (9) EXT. NORTH END STREETS – DAY

Ronni, Terri, and Rose run into a wall of tourists outside Old North Church. Sirens echoing throughout the neighborhood has everyone on edge.

Character actor dressed like Paul Revere sits atop a horse. It frightens and rears up. It causes Ronni to drop the cash. It scatters, lost in the crowd.

27 – (7) EXT. AQUARIUM – BOSTON – DAY

Diesel and Izzy exit in a pedi bike, arms wrapped around each other.

28 – (7) EXT. NORTH END WATERFRONT – DAY

Ronni, Terri, and Rose exit a café rear and run to last street before the waterfront. They stare hopelessly at Boston harbor and the fish pier below.

29 – (8) EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – FISH PIER – DAY

Diesel and Izzy reach the boat. Izzy backs inside, kissing Diesel.

Diesel and Izzy kiss madly when Red and Fitz enter with the duffle. Red discusses their smuggling operation and gives them the money.

All the while, Ronni, Terri, and Rose listen and spy from behind a berth door and decide to overtake Red, et al, when they go outside to inspect the hidden bales of drugs on deck.

Terri is the only member who doesn’t like the idea, but he feels the need to hold onto his family is greater than backing out.

30 – (7) EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – DAY

Ronni cold cocks Diesel with his gun and follows Red and Fitz out to the deck, while Terri and Rose subdue Izzy.

31 – (9) DECK

Ronni beats Red after being insulted and tosses Fitz into the water to drown.

32 – (5) DEN/GALLEY

While Terri and Rose search inside for weapons and money, Diesel’s cell rings. They secure his phone and Izzy’s cell.

33 – (6) FISH DOCK – GLOUCESTER – DAY

Lucca leaves a message asking Diesel to call Izzy and give her a ride home to Gloucester.

34 – (7) EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – DAY

DEN/GALLEY

Ronni and Red return.

Red tied up. Diesel refuses to take the boat out of the harbor. Ronni beats Diesel until Izzy cooperates, and they sail into open water.

35 – (6) EXT. BOSTON FISH PIER – DAY

State Police Operations Command Vehicle trailer sits nearby.

Boston Police with dogs and bicycles surround Detective Mic and Boychuk (from opening scene) who order copies of all surrounding security cameras.

36 – (6) INT./EXT. THE UGLY BOAT – DAY

WHEELHOUSE

Terri and Rose guard Izzy at the wheel as Diesel recovers from injuries. Izzy offers to help them get out this mess. Rose declines.

37 – (6) DECK

Red taunts Ronni. Ronni pushes Red around while inspecting all the illegal drugs. Red behaves unaffected and attempts to talk Ronni into turning back before it’s too late.

Ronni orders Rose and Diesel out to the deck. They comply.

38 – (6) WHEELHOUSE

Izzy again attempts to convince Terri to let her contact police. Ronni orders them both out to the deck. Izzy puts the boat on auto pilot while Terri secretly observes her every step.

39 – (6) DECK

Red lampoons the situation. His way of insulting everyone individually with satire. Ronni reveals the drugs to Rose and Terri. Diesel is forced to get rid of anything that could be used as a weapon.

Ronni collects everyone’s cellphone except Rose and Terri and goes back to the wheelhouse with Diesel.

40 – (5) WHEELHOUSE

Ronni destroys the SIM cards. Keeps the expensive phones to pawn. Diesel explains navigational instruments, and they talk about where to go with little fuel.

A message comes across the radio that a severe storm is headed their way.

41 – (7) DECK

Terri inspects the deck, net drum, and steel plates. Izzy tries to befriend him about their lives and what they have in common.

Rose, curious about the fish pens, has Izzy and Terri join her to explain they’re empty. When they lean into the space, Izzy reveals a hidden flare pistol to Red that is concealed in a seamless compartment.

Red continues to lampoon Terri and Rose with threats. Rose strikes him.

42 – (6) WHEELHOUSE

Ronni listens for a police broadcast concerning the bank heist. There is none. Diesel tells him that the instrument they need to navigate is a GPS finder. So Ronni rips the wires from all remaining instruments, save radio and GPS.

43 – (6) DECK/WHEELHOUSE

With all weapons tossed overboard, Terri, Rose, Izzy, and Red climb the outside stairs to the wheelhouse.

Terri wants to know Ronni’s plan, but Ronni warns him to be quiet. Izzy taunts Ronni and Terri over who is in charge. Red laughs at their naivete.

44 – (7) INT. STATE POLICE OPERATIONS COMMAND VEHICLE – DAY

Detectives Mick and Boychuk watch security tape and discover Red with the owners of the boat and the trio who robbed the bank. They bring in the Coast Guard to begin a search.

45 – (5) INT. THE UGLY BOAT – NIGHT

WHEELHOUSE

Ronni guards Izzy, Diesel, and Red at the helm as they ride into rough seas.

46 – (5) DEN/GALLEY

As they’re searching for anything to steal, Terri confesses to Rose that he’s nervous about Ronni’s cruel behavior and asks her to talk Ronni into stopping. She refuses, unwilling to see the harm or change in Ronni.

47 – (5) WHEELHOUSE

Ronni threatens Diesel to remain on course and forces Izzy and Red down into the —

48 – (7) DEN/GALLEY

Terri and Rose retreat to the Den, cautious of Ronni. Ronni has Izzy search for food: no one has eaten for hours by now. While feigning interest, she overhears Ronni ask Terri if he can drive the boat. He plans to deep six them. Terri replies not yet.

Red badgers Ronni and Terri. He tells the room that he’s Ronni father. Terri turns wary of Ronni over the revelation. Ronni doesn’t trust his reaction. He hands the gun over to Rose and forces Red out to the –

49 – (10) DECK

While arguing, Red pulls his knife on Ronni. They wrestle for the knife before Ronni stabs him to death, tossing his body overboard.

50 – (8) DEN/GALLEY

Everyone is shocked. The situation has become very real now.

Terri receives a message from Fitz! He survived the drowning. He threatens to kill Terri’s family if Terri doesn’t save Red.

51 – (8) WHEELHOUSE

Diesel steers into the storm, waves crashing over the bow. Rose, Terri, and Izzy climb up from below. The atmosphere somber. Rose stares out at the deck.

52 – (9) DECK

Ronni straps life jackets to bales of drugs, a daisy chain. The boat suddenly jerks to the side throwing Ronni over the rail, but he manages to save himself from going over by clenching a halyard.

53 – (9) WHEELHOUSE

Diesel sharply turns the wheel. Rose slaps him with the gun after witnessing Ronni almost get thrown in the water. Was it a ploy? Izzy and Terri swear there was a large object in their path: Diesel turned to avoid it.

An alert from police comes across the radio. Diesel turns down the volume: Izzy understanding he wants Terri and Rose to not hear it. But Terri catches their act and turns up the volume. It reports, everyone on board is considered dangerous.

Ronni returns, angry, blames Terri, but Rose defends Terri’s action when Diesel tried to hide the police alert. He beats Diesel for almost throwing him overboard and orders him, Izzy, and Rose downstairs. Rose objects because they need them to operate the boat. Ronni takes the gun from Rose and tells Terri to operate the boat.

54 – (8) DEN/GALLEY

Ronni antagonizes Izzy and Diesel to have sex in front of him and Rose, punishment for trying to kill him.

55 – (5) WHEELHOUSE

Terri uses what little knowledge he learned by watching Diesel and Izzy and steers the boat. He hears Izzy and Rose screaming from the Den/Galley.

56 – (9) DEN/GALLEY

Terri rushes down the stairs to stop Ronni. Ronni threatens him to kiss Izzy because he thinks they’re “too” friendly. The bow of the boat rises like a roller coaster and slams down. Everyone gets thrown. Ronni loses his gun to the floor. He and Terri eye it, suspicious of each other.

57 – (7) EXT. FISHERMAN’S WHARF – GLOUCESTER – NIGHT

Police tell Izzy’s husband, Lucca, about the situation she’s mixed up with.

58 – (6) EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – NIGHT

WHEELHOUSE

As the boat rides waves like a roller coaster, Ronni stands guard over Diesel holding the gun.

59 – (5) DEN/GALLEY

While making coffee, Izzy suggests to Rose they subdue Ronni because he’s turning psychotic with too much power – and he could possibly hurt Terri.

60 – (6) DECK

Terri is outside fighting the elements searching for more floating devices because Ronni used most of them to protect the drugs.

61 – (6) WHEELHOUSE

The storm batters the boat windshield. Ronni regrets tearing wires from all the navigational equipment. He wants it repaired. Diesel can’t do it.

Terri enters from the outside stairs from the deck. Ronni wants him to fix the wires. He can’t do it either and goes down to the Den/Galley to get Izzy.

62 – (7) DEN/GALLEY

Before bringing coffee up to the wheelhouse, Izzy, Terri, and Rose agree to stop Ronni but only if they don’t hurt him.

63 – (5)WHEELHOUSE

Izzy helps fix the wiring to the navigation screen. Rose returns to the –

64 – (5) DEN

Rose smokes a joint, worried. Gets high. Leaves with a bottle of sambuca.

65 – (7) WHEELHOUSE

Ronni drinks the sambuca. He accuses Rose of being high and worried: but why? Terri and Izzy are nervous she’ll tell Ronni about their plan.

Diesel gets the navigation screen working and Ronni learns what all the information means. He decides they ride straight past the tip of Cape Cod to Rhode Island, and through the heart of the storm.

Ronni takes Terri and Rose downstairs to the den/galley. On passing Izzy she warns him that they can’t be trusted.

66 – (8) DEN/GALLEY

Ronni accuses Terri and Rose of conspiring. Terri gets pissed and returns to the wheelhouse. Ronni rages to Rose. She’s high. He can’t believe she would betray him. He drags her out to the deck.

67 – (5) WHEELHOUSE

Terri and Izzy watch Ronni and Rose on the deck.

68 – (10) DECK

Ronni kills Rose, losing his mind.

69 – (9) WHEELHOUSE

After witnessing the murder, Terri backs out of their plan to subdue Ronni.

Ronni returns, fires a shot over head, and threatens to kill Terri: he holds him responsible for Rose. But he needs everyone to make it through the storm, safely.

70 – (6) INT. COMMAND CENTER – BOSTON COAST GUARD BASE – NIGHT

The search for the boat is suspended. Detectives Mic and Boychuk leave for the Cape Cod CG base and will remain there until the storm clears and search resumes.

71 – (7) EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – NIGHT

The boat struggles against huge, crashing waves. It’s difficult to control for Diesel and Izzy.

72 – (7) WHEELHOUSE

Ronni discovers a second blip on the navigation screen that’s closing in on their location. It could be the Coast Guard. They attempt to outmaneuver possible contact, but the blip keeps following them.

73 – (7) EXT. SMALL PLEASURE CRAFT – NIGHT

A small boat, seeking aide, approaches the Ugly Boat.

74 – (9) EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – SAME

OUTSIDE STAIRS TO DECK

Ronni engages the small boat with gunshots, until the driver flees.

75 – (8) WHEELHOUSE

Ronni enters from the outside stairs. A serious weather alert blasts from the radio reminding them they’re cruising ahead into an already deadly situation. He goes berserk and destroys the radio.

In a psychotic breakdown, he forces everyone to sing a rotating chorus of Row, Row, Your Boat.

76 – (7) INT. TERRI’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Terri’s wife, Kat, learns about the bank robbery via news. She texts Terri and tells him she and the baby are leaving him for good.

77 – (8) EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT

WHEELHOUSE

Ronni humming the song. The boat fighting through the storm.

Terri cries after sending Kat a return text: a desperate plea for her to find cash he’s been saving and leave town without him.

Ronni reads their exchange and tells Terri that he’s better off.

Terri leaves for the deck.

78 – (7) DECK

Enraged, Terri throws bales of drugs into the storm.

79 – (8) WHEELHOUSE

Globs of pot stick to the window. Ronni realizes what it is and storms outside to stop Terri. Izzy goes downstairs into the den/galley.

80 – (10) DECK

Ronni chases Terri. He loses the gun in the ferocious storm. But catches Terri and stabs him with the knife, leaving him for dead.

Izzy sneaks on deck and finds the hidden flare pistol. She aims it at the two of them. But it misses and starts a fire. She escapes Ronni up the outside stairs to the wheelhouse.

81 – (10) WHEELHOUSE

Izzy rushes inside. Diesel helps to barricade the door, but Ronni busts in and knocks him to the floor. Ronni is about to kill him when Terri appears through black smoke and clobbers Ronni over the head.

82 – (10) DECK

Terri and Izzy drag Ronni down the stairs and toss him overboard. He fights to survive but is eventually drowned away by the waves.

Fire consumes everything, including the wheelhouse. Diesel dives outside.

83 – (10) EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT

The boat explodes.

84 – (10) EXT. OCEAN WATER – DAY

The storm is miles away. Terri, badly wounded and burned, floats to a buoy with Izzy who is less injured. They agree on an alibi and to split whatever cash and drugs survived.

As the sound of a rescue helicopter draws near, Izzy forces Terri under water. He drowns.

85 – (9) CAPE COD BEACH – DAY

The storm is miles offshore now. Detective Mic and Boychuk stand over two more damaged bodies: old male and young female, identities unknown. Bundles of drugs washed beside them.

They see the helicopter approaching.

86 – (8) EXT. PENNINSULA BEACH – DAY

Same beach where this story started. The helicopter lands. Izzy is removed by EMTs and questioned by Detectives Mic and Boychuk who are only interested in what happened to Red. She plays the clueless, grieving victim on her way to the hospital.

Detective Mic orders the search for Red to continue.

87 – (7) APARTMENT BASEMENT – DAY

Kat, Terri’s wife, digs deep behind the Paul revere headstone and removes a satchel full of cash. She leaves.

[Frank Gaide]

Frank Gaide – Character Intros

What I learned: How to dig deeper into how my characters function within the story concept and their relationships to other characters. The results greatly improved the entertainment

value of my screenplay.

TITLE: THE UGLY BOAT

1 – TERRI (22)

CURRENT INTRO BEATS:

1 – Terri’s voice over used over a dead body that washes ashore Cape Cod:

2 – Police sicken at the sight of Terri’s mutilated body.

NEW INTRODUCTION TYPE(S):

Action shows primary traits.

Other character’s reaction to this character.

Build the Character’s reputation.

Character philosophy

The reveal opening.

REVISED BEATS:

1 – We hear Terri’s VO as a dead body washes ashore Cape Cod.

The reveal opening

Character philosophy

2 – Terri pays for a couple beers in a liquor store. The owner doesn’t trust him. He halts at the door before exiting while spying outside —

Action shows primary traits.

Other character’s reaction to this character.

3 – Outside the liquor store, Ronni is assaulted by 2 goons. He fends off their blows. The go inside a private club nearby —

Action shows primary traits.

Other character’s reaction to this character.

4 – Terri exits and meets Ronni like he didn’t see a thing. Ronni calls him out for not helping as they drink their beers and inspect cars on the street.

Character philosophy

Other character’s reaction to this character.

5 – A table of goons joke to Red (mob boss) about Ronni’s toughness.

Other character’s reaction to this character

Build the Character’s reputation.

6 – Ronni smashes his bottle through Red’s car windshield making sure the goons inside the club witness him doing it.

Action shows primary traits

2 – RONNI (24)

CURRENT INTRO BEATS:

1 – Ronni fights off an attack by two thugs who work for the local mob.

2 – Inside the mob’s bar, the thugs talk about Ronni’s toughness.

3 – Outside the bar, Ronni makes sure the thugs see him smash a bottle through the windshield of the boss’s car.

NEW INTRODUCTION TYPE(S):

Action shows primary traits.

Other character’s reaction to this character.

Build the Character’s reputation.

Character philosophy

REVISED BEATS:

1 – We hear Terri’s VO as a dead body washes ashore Cape Cod.

The reveal opening

Character philosophy

2 – Terri pays for a couple beers in a liquor store. The owner doesn’t trust him. He halts at the door before exiting while spying outside —

Action shows primary traits.

Other character’s reaction to this character.

3 – Outside the liquor store, Ronni is assaulted by 2 goons. He fends off their blows. The go inside a private club nearby —

Action shows primary traits.

Other character’s reaction to this character.

4 – Terri exits and meets Ronni like he didn’t see a thing. Ronni calls him out for not helping as they drink their beers and inspect cars on the street.

Character philosophy

Other character’s reaction to this character.

5 – A table of goons joke to Red (mob boss) about Ronni’s toughness.

Other character’s reaction to this character

Build the Character’s reputation.

6 – Ronni smashes his bottle through Red’s car windshield making sure the goons inside the club witness him doing it.

Action shows primary traits

SCENE: Terri and Ronni introductions.

EXT. BEACH – CAPE COD – DAWN

As a powerful summer storm cuts out to sea, a man cherry picks debris from a shipwreck left behind.

A mutilated body suddenly pops up in his face.

TERRI (VO)

(young flat gruff voice)

Before me and Kat ever thought about getting

married, her parents made us talk to a priest. I

wasn’t exactly marrying material. I wasn’t Irish.

INT./EXT. STATE POLICE CRUISER – DRIVING – DAWN

Blue light washes over shacks and sand dunes. DETECTIVE (MICK) MCSORELY, (50), department hard ass rides shotgun. He looks past his antsy partner, DETECTIVE BOYCHUK, (45), to an active crime scene on the beach.

TERRI (VO)

So the priest, he says, “Kids, you’re

young and have a long road ahead

together. Never be a slave to money.”

The state police cruiser parks. Mick and Boychuk charge outside with flashlights drawn and scramble down a granite jetty.

TERRI (VO)

And after promising our lives could survive

without it, he shuffled a deck of cards

and we played poker.

That’s right. Poker!

INT./EXT. BEACH – CAPE COD – MINUTES LATER

Local sheriff and police circle the beached object with the harbormaster waiting offshore in his skiff.

They part for Mick and Boychuk.

MICK

What do you got?

A LOCAL COP (22), a lowly summer intern, aims his flashlight on the badly burned body. Everyone sickens.

LOCAL COP

Hell if I know.

TERRI (VO)

Thanks for the lesson, Father. We should

of seen a psychic. I wouldn’t be in this

mess now.

PRE-LAP: The RINGING of a small bell.

CUT TO:

INT. LIQUOR STORE – SOUTH BOSTON, MA – NIGHT

SUPER: THEN

A glass door closes with a simple bell attached to the top, an alarm of sorts.

We’re in a modest, old establishment in a squalid neighborhood undergoing gentrification. The kind that sells a little bit of everything to lifelong neighbors.

BURT (70), the cagey owner, stares at a security mirror following TERRI. Sinewy and thin with his choirboy face, Terri looks more like a lacrosse player than the street corner punk, he is. Everything about him is a lie from appearance to words.

With a disarming smile, he peruses the aisles knowing full well he’s being surveilled. After grabbing two beer bottles from a wall cooler, still he sneaks a candy bar, steals a bite, and places the wrapper back on the shelf.

He meets Burt at the register. Places the two beer bottles on the counter.

BURT

That’ll be eight dollars.

Terri withdraws the ten dollars he was about to give Burt.

TERRI

For what? Two buds? This ain’t

the Mullen’s Club, Burt.

BURT

Eight dollars.

TERRI

Oh, c’mon.

BURT

For the beer… and the treat.

There’s a pause between them like a showdown. Terri raises his hands overhead.

TERRI

(laughing)

Busted!

Burt bags the two beers. Terri pays him and struts for the door.

BURT

Should grow up, Terri. Life is short.

TERRI

Thanks for the discount, Burt.

Terri halts at the door. Burt is just a memory now, as he spies his brother being attacked by two thugs.

EXT. MULLENS CLUB – SOUTH BOSTON, MA – NIGHT

Outside the first floor of an old three decker, a clash between three big men takes place. A two on one.

FITZ (40), a brick shithouse with mush for brains, and STEVO (60), a wily old goon, attack a young guy with clubs. It’s difficult to get a clean shot at him. He blocks every strike with his beefy arms.

This is RONNI (24), a hulking figure for his age. He advances bare chested and dressed in cut down overalls, barking at his assailants like he’s the one in charge.

RONNI

Hit me. Bring it. Again!

FITZ

Fuck it.

It’s over. Just a warning this time. Fitz and Stevo retire to the Mullens Club, satisfied.

Ronni hears the ringing bell. He sees Terri exiting the liquor store, approaching, with that disarming smile of his.

RONNI

You couldn’t help?

TERRI

Where you been?

RONNI

Fitz and Stevo?

TERRI

I was inside buying us a beer

before we go. What about

them?

Ronni takes a beer and a long swallow. Considers all the cars parked outside the Mullens Club and sights a shiny Buick Riviera Classic.

RONNI

You really don’t know what I’m

talking about.

TERRI

Let’s just go.

RONNI

This won’t take long.

Terri scrunches up his face. He knows trouble is coming.

INT. MULLENS CLUB – NIGHT

Operates like an Irish bar on St. Paddy’s Day, every day.

Fitz stands by a window speaking to a TABLE OF GUYS in shadow, Stevo included. Hidden in the back is RED (60), the local mob boss.

FITZ

It’s done, Red. It’s done.

RED

Fucking pain in my ass, he is.

STEVO

Tough prick though. Almost broke

a club on him.

TABLE OF GUYS

Should invest in a bigger club then.

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha—

There’s a KNOCK on the window. Fitz turns outside.

Ronni smiles at him. Walks casually to the Buick Riviera Classic. And smashes his beer bottle against the windshield.

FITZ

Son of a bitch!

[Frank Gaide]

Frank Gaide – Character Story Beats

What I learned: Yet another exercise to find the core of a story element. Yay. I find myself retracing previous exercises, but the focus has shifted dramatically to just one storyline for each character that really helps me figure out its purpose in the context of the premise. A great tool to improve my outline!

TITLE: THE UGLY BOAT

1 – TERRI (22)

Role: low level criminal/half-brother/husband and dad.

Flaw: guilt

Ch. Traits: liar – addict – dreamer – selfish

Ch. Logline: Terri is a hapless criminal who will do anything, but work, to hold onto his failing marriage.

Mission: to impress his wife with money.

Secret: jealous of his stepbrother.

Life Metaphor: money can’t buy happiness.

Arc: selfishness to humility.

OVERALL STORY:

Beginning: To hold onto his family, Terri agrees to help Ronni rob a bank.

Middle: Terri kills Ronni to survive on the boat. Terri Kills Ronni to keep the money

End: Terri survives the boat explosion, but Izzy kills him before rescue arrives.

CHARACTER BEATS: BROAD STROKES

1 – Terri lies to his wife, Kat, about going to work and instead steals money with half-brother, Ronni, and Ronni’s gal, Rose. They steal a headstone from the city.

2 – Terri promises Kat, he will stop helping Ronni after she threatens to leave him: It’s another lie.

3 – Terri gets beat up by local mob boss, Red, and threatened with more violence after discovering Ronni mauled Red’s car.

4 – After a couple failed scams, Terri helps Ronni and Rose rob a bank.

5 – Terri escapes to an unoccupied fishing boat with Ronni and Rose to hide from police. They learn it is carrying drugs and cash for Red.

6 – Terri, Ronni, and Rose commandeer the boat taking Diesel, Izzy, and Red captive.

7 – Terri learns how to operate the boat.

8 – Terri befriends Izzy.

9 – Terri is threatened by Red’s henchman. He must keep Red alive. His family’s lives depend on it. But Ronni kills Red.

10 – Terri is threatened by Ronni who’s losing his mind to thoughts of betrayal.

11 – Terri conspires with Izzy and Rose to stop Ronni.

12 – Terri apologizes to Kat for his selfish behavior and tells her to retrieve the stash of money he has hidden and leave South Boston,

12 – Terri kills Ronni to revenge the loss of his family.

13 – Terri survives the boat explosion with Izzy. He’s badly injured. They agree to an alibi and plan to keep whatever riches are left. But at the sound of rescue, Izzy drowns him.

IMPOROVEMENT: Changed “Middle Story” from Terri kills Ronni to stay alive to Terri Kills Ronni to keep the money. It adds more depth to his character by allowing more opportunities to “take action” instead of always reacting to action.

2 – RONNI (24)

Role: low level, criminal sociopath/half-brother/boyfriend.

Ch. Traits: compulsive, abusive, self-destructive, confident

Flaw: jealousy

Ch. Logline: Ronni is a destructive criminal who eliminates anyone and anything in his path to get what he wants.

Mission: to punish his dad.

Secret: losing his mind

Life Metaphor: cut off your nose to spite your face.

Arc: mean to deadly. Bully to killer.

Uniqueness: big as hulk for his age

Thing He Won’t Admit: respect for his dad

OVERALL STORY:

Beginning: Ronni damages the local mob boss’s car and hides in Rose’s apartment from Red. He needs money to save his ass from him, but all the worthless scams aren’t enough. So he talks his half-brother, Terri, and Rose into helping rob a bank. They hide in a boat.

Middle: Ronni commandeers the boat taking Izzy, Diesel, and Red captive with a million in cash and a ton of drugs onboard. He turns psychotic and deadly killing Red after Red revealed that Ronni was his son. Delusional of betrayals from Terri and Rose, he kills Rose.

End: Ronni eventually turns on Terri, but Terri kills him.

CHARACTER BEATS: BROAD STROKES

1 – After a beatdown from local thugs, Ronni destroys Red’s (local mob boss) classic car out of jealousy and rage.

2 – Ronni steals headstone from the city to ransom back for July 4^th.

3 – Ronni parties with his moll, Rose, and Terri, but he’s always humiliating them.

4 – Ronni learns that Red is after him for the car damage and realizes all his petty scams won’t cover the money, he plans to give Red. So he forces Terri and Rose to rob a bank with him.

5 – Ronni escapes police to an unoccupied boat with Terri and Rose and discovers it’s loaded with Red’s money and illegal drugs.

6 – Reckless, Ronni commandeers the boat capturing Izzy, Diesel, and Red, forces them into a raging storm to hideout.

7 – Ronni revels in his authority over Red. It goes to his head. He starts emulating Red by beating Diesel and ordering everyone around.

8 – Ronni begins imagining everyone conspiring against him for the money and kills Red after Red reveals that He is Ronni’s father.

9 – Ronni’s mental breakdown escalates as the storm turns deadly and more threats emerge. He kills Rose believing she betrayed him and threatens to kill Terri and his family.

10 – Witnessing Terri tossing drugs into the ocean, Ronni pursues him on deck and stabs Terri leaving him for dead. But Terri survives and sneak attacks Ronni a final time before he and Izzy toss Ronni overboard to death.

IMPOROVEMENT: Changed his arc from mean to deadly to bully to killer. It is a better character description of his action.

3 – ROSE (21)

Role: Ronni’s girlfriend

Flaw: artless

Ch. Traits: fierce, faithful, candid, naïve

Ch. Logline: Ronni’s gun moll who would go to hell and back for him.

Mission: to please Ronni

Arc: faithful to disloyal

Secret: jealous of Terri’s marriage to Kat

Thing She Won’t Admit: Terri is cuter than Ronni

OVERALL STORY:

Beginning: Rose helps Ronni and Terri steal a headstone from the city to ransom back on July 4^th. The plan fails. So she helps Ronni rob a bank.

Middle: Rose hides from police with Ronni and Terri in a boat which they learn carries millions in cash and illegal drugs owned by Red. She defends Ronni throughout after capturing Izzy, Diesel, Red and the boat out to sea.

End: Ronni turns paranoid delusional believing that Rose betrayed him and kills her.

CHARACTER BEATS: BROAD STROKES

1 – Rose steals a headstone with Ronni and Terri

2 – Rose parties at her apartment with Ronni and Terri, accepting of all his humiliating remarks.

3 – Rose hurts a client to get off work early and meets Ronni and Terri with a car.

4 – Rose robs a bank with Ronni and Terri and hides from police with them in a fishing boat.

5 – Rose helps Ronni and Terri capture Izzy, Diesel, Red and the boat and head out to sea into a storm.

6 – Rose goes out of her way to help defend Ronni’s behavior: he’s beating Diesel to much and threatening everyone, but her. She brandishes a gun and does whatever Ronni instructs her to do.

7 – Rose conspires to help Terri and Izzy capture Ronni to stop him from his dangerous behavior. Especially after witnessing Ronni kill Red.

8 – Rose is killed by Ronni after he senses her fear and believes she betrayed him with the others onboard.

IMPOROVEMENT: none.

4 – IZZY (40s)

Role: cheating wife/girlfriend

Ch. Traits: deceitful, selfish, controlling, gambler

Flaw: too self-reliant

Ch. Logline: Izzy is a white trash, femme fatale with brains fighting to get out of a trapped marriage for lack of money.

Mission: get rich and exit her life and marriage

Life Metaphor: take what life gives you

Thing She Won’t Admit: hates her boyfriend, Diesel.

Secret: to have sex with young men. to avenge every male bully in her life.

OVERALL STORY:

Beginning: Izzy leaves Gloucester and meets Diesel in Boston. They have a life changing appointment with Red.

Middle: Izzy and Diesel meet Red and agree on a deal concerning the money that Red brought them and the illegal drugs hidden on deck before Ronni, Terri, and Rose capture them and the boat out sea into a storm where she operates the boat while luring Terri and rose into killing Ronni.

End: Izzy survives the boat explosion and drowns Terry. A helicopter rescues her to Cape Cod and hospital after telling police she was a victim on the boat.

CHARACTER BEATS: BROAD STROKES

1 – Izzy travels to Boston in search of work and to lose her lazy husband for a day. She meets for lunch with a secret lover, Diesel, who owns a fishing boat there and tells her husband that she’s stuck in the city.

2 – Izzy and Diesel return to the boat. Red arrives with cash, and they discuss a plan for the illegal drugs hidden on deck.

3 – Izzy, Diesel, and Red are captured by Ronni, Terri, and Rose. The boat forced into a storm at sea.

4 – Izzy operates the boat whenever Ronni beats Diesel.

5 – Izzy attempts to talk Terri and Rose to let her call police for help.

6 – Izzy befriends Terri.

7 – Izzy is assaulted by Ronni.

8 – Izzy convinces Terri and Rose to help capture Ronni to stop him from harming anyone after he kills Red.

9 – Izzy attempts to get rid of Terri and Ronni by firing a flare pistol at them. She starts a fire on board.

10 – Izzy survives the explosion with Terri and drowns him before rescue arrives.

11 – Izzy is rescued by helicopter to Cape Cod and the hospital after telling police she was the victim on the boat.

IMPOROVEMENT: Changed Izzy’s secret from wanting to have sex with young men to avenging every male bully in her life. This new character goal heightens her attitude to the macho men on the boat and her refusal to submit to them.

5 – RED (55)

Role: mob boss/dad

Ch. Traits: cold-blooded, sadistic, confident, vengeful

Flaw: arrogance

Ch. Logline: Red is a brutal mob boss and drug dealer who would stop at nothing to maintain his power over South Boston.

Mission: to become more powerful through dealing drugs

Secret: who is his son, Terri or Ronni?

Thing He Won’t Admit: Love for Ronni

OVERALL STORY:

Beginning: Red orchestrates a drug smuggling operation while trying to harm Ronni for smashing his car.

Middle: Red is captured and humiliated by Ronni after Ronni, Terri, and Rose overtake the fishing boat out into a storm.

End: Red messes with Ronni’s behavior to seize back control, but when he tells Ronni that Ronni is his son, Ronni kills him.

CHARACTER BEATS: BROAD STROKES

1 – Ronni has his thugs beat up Ronni, but Ronni wrecks his car.

2 – Red oversees a shipment of drugs from one boat to another.

3 – Red releases a coward cop under his control after helping him dodge the drug unit.

4 – Red and Fitz, his hit man, grab a duffel of money after hunting down Terri.

5 – Red and Fitz arrive on boat and meet Izzy and Diesel. They discuss the cash he brought and the hidden illegal drugs on deck.

6 – Red takes besting from Ronni after Ronni tosses Fitz overboard to drown, and Ronni, Terri, and Rose steal the boat away to sea into a storm.

7 – Red is humiliated by Ronni but manages to control Ronni’s by psyching him out with lies about betrayal.

8 – Until he crosses a line telling Ronni that he is his father. Red finally loses control and Ronni kills him.

IMPOROVEMENT: none

6 – DIESEL (60)

Role: boat owner, fisherman/boyfriend

Ch. Traits: reckless, narcissistic, stubborn, witless

Flaw: cocky

Ch. Logline: Diesel is an aging fisherman desperate to hold onto his virility and eager to exit the failing fishing business by smuggling drugs.

Mission: to get rich without fishing

Thing He Won’t Admit: he hates taking orders from Izzy

Secret: he knows Izzy is just using him

OVERALL STORY:

Beginning: Diesel leaves Gloucester in his boat and picks up a load of illegal drugs at sea before docking in Boston and having lunch with Izzy.

Middle: After meeting with Red over their drug deal, Ronni, Terri, and Rose overtake the boat and force Diesel to sail out to sea into a storm where Ronni continues to beat him.

End: After assisting in killing Ronni, Diesel dies in the boat explosion.

CHARACTER BEATS: BROAD STROKES

1 – Diesel receives drugs onto his boat at sea.

2 – Diesel secures deck of his boat docked in Boston.

3 – Diesel meets his gal, Izzy, for lunch.

4 – Diesel returns to boat with Izzy and meet Red.

5 – Diesel is overpowered by Ronni and forced to take his boat out to sea into a storm.

6 – Diesel is beat into submission by Ronni and follows his every command.

7 – Diesel conspires with Izzy to get rid of everyone and keep the money and drugs.

8 – Diesel saves the boat in the storm.

9 – Diesel helps kill Ronni as the boat is afire.

10 – Diesel attempts to flee the fire but dies in the boat explosion.

IMPOROVEMENT: none

7 – KAT (20)

Role: wife and mother

Ch. Traits: skeptical, tenacious, malcontent, loyal

Flaw: too romantic

Ch. Logline: Kat is a strong, young wife and Mom who believes the only way to save their failing marriage is if Terri goes to work and abandons Ronni and their criminal dreams.

Arc: fear of being a single mom to finding courage to leave her husband

Secret: move as far away as possible from South Boston

Life Metaphor: fool’s paradise

OVERALL STORY:

Beginning: Kat and her child, Bryanne, put up with Terri’s lies about working. She knows he gets their money from stealing with Ronni and forgives Terri again, knowing he lied about working at the Boston Globe.

Middle: After Kat discovers Terri robbed a bank and is running from police, she decides to leave him.

End: She recovers a stash of cash Terri has hidden and leaves South Boston.

CHARACTER BEATS: BROAD STROKES

1 – Kat is up early with Bryanne waiting for Terri to come home after supposedly working all night at the Boston Globe. She confronts him, knowing that he’ lying to her once again.

2 – Before Terri goes to work, she wants him to tell her the truth, but he’s doesn’t. She allows him to keep the lie, afraid to lose their marriage and hoping for change. He promises to change and the make love.

3 – Kat learns that Terri robbed a bank and tells him that she’s leaving him.

4 – Kat retrieves Terri’s secret stash of cash and leaves South Boston.

IMPOROVEMENT: none

[Frank Gaide]

Frank Gaide – Character Profiles

What I learned: This process weeds out extraneous description and allows you to narrow focus only on core character elements. I discovered myself applying the “front door” and “back door” tools effortlessly.

LOGLINE: “The Ugly Boat”

When an aimless young thief and his cut-throat brother get trapped on a boat with a million dollars in mob money and four dangerous strangers scheming to eliminate each other, he must decide who he can trust to survive.

CHARACTERS:

1 – TERRI (22)

Role: low level criminal/half-brother/husband and dad.

Flaw: guilt

Ch. Traits: liar – addict – dreamer – selfish

Ch. Logline: Terri is a hapless criminal who will do anything, but work, to hold onto his failing marriage.

Mission: to impress his wife with money.

Secret: jealous of his stepbrother.

Life Metaphor: money can’t buy happiness.

Arc: selfish to giving.

Change: passive trait to addict – instead of Terri living a passive life following his older brother, the word addict describes a more serious habit he has following a life of crime and unable to find discipline to overcome it.

2 – RONNI (24)

Role: low level, criminal sociopath/half-brother/boyfriend.

Ch. Traits: compulsive, abusive, self-destructive, confident

Flaw: jealousy

Ch. Logline: Ronni is a destructive criminal who eliminates anyone and anything in his path to get what he wants.

Mission: to punish his dad.

Secret: losing his mind

Life Metaphor: cut off your nose to spite your face.

Arc: mean to deadly

Uniqueness: big as hulk for his age

Thing He Won’t Admit: respect for his dad

Change: cynical trait to self-destructive because it’s most in Ronni’s nature to harm himself through unchecked emotion than imagining a lost world.

3 – ROSE (21)

Role: Ronni’s girlfriend

Flaw: artless

Ch. Traits: fierce, faithful, candid, naïve

Ch. Logline: Ronni’s gun moll who would go to hell and back for him.

Mission: to please Ronni

Arc: faithful to disloyal

Secret: jealous of Terri’s marriage to Kat

Thing She Won’t Admit: Terri is cuter than Ronni

Change: honest trait to candid because honest makes her too angelic.

4 – IZZY (40s)

Role: cheating wife/girlfriend

Ch. Traits: deceitful, selfish, controlling, gambler

Flaw: too self-reliant

Ch. Logline: Izzy is a white trash, femme fatale with brains fighting to get out of a trapped marriage for lack of money.

Mission: get rich and exit her life and marriage

Life Metaphor: take what life gives you

Thing She Won’t Admit: hates her boyfriend, Diesel.

Secret: would love to make love with a young man

Change: maverick trait to gambler because Izzy isn’t just a rebel, she’s the type of exciting person willing to bet her life on choices, win or lose.

5 – RED (55)

Role: mob boss/dad

Ch. Traits: cold-blooded, sadistic, confident, vengeful

Flaw: arrogance

Ch. Logline: Red is a brutal mob boss and drug dealer who would stop at nothing to maintain his power over South Boston.

Mission: to become more powerful through dealing drugs

Secret: who is his son, Terri or Ronni?

Thing He Won’t Admit: Love for Ronni

Change:

6 – DIESEL (60)

Role: boat owner, fisherman/boyfriend

Ch. Traits: reckless, narcissistic, stubborn, witless

Flaw: cocky

Ch. Logline: Diesel is an aging fisherman desperate to hold onto his virility and eager to exit the failing fishing business by smuggling drugs.

Mission: to get rich without fishing

Thing He Won’t Admit: he hates taking orders from Izzy

Secret: he knows Izzy is just using him

Change:

7 – KAT (20)

Role: wife and mother

Ch. Traits: skeptical, tenacious, malcontent, loyal

Flaw: too romantic

Ch. Logline: Kat is a strong, young wife and Mom who believes the only way to save their failing marriage is if Terri goes to work and abandons Ronni and their criminal dreams.

Arc: fear of being a single mom to finding courage to leave her husband

Secret: move as far away as possible from South Boston

Life Metaphor: fool’s paradise

Change: too caring flaw to romantic because her life ambition is more fantasy related than hard core reality.

[Frank Gaide]

Frank Gaide – Story Beats

What I learned: The “separating out” process is a natural extension of restructuring my story. Working backwards through the beats not only allowed me to improve scenes with fresh ideas but provided me more clarity about the story’s meaning.

LOGLINE:

When an aimless young thief and his cut-throat brother get trapped on a boat with a million dollars in mob money and four dangerous strangers scheming to eliminate each other, he must decide who he can trust to survive.

THE UGLY BOAT

CURRENT STORY BEATS:

1 – EXT. PENINSULA BEACH – CAPE COD – DAWN

As a powerful summer storm cuts out to sea a man cherry picks debris from a shipwreck left behind. A dead body rises into his face!

VO by young married man, Terri, explaining the danger of want for money.

2 – INT./EXT. STATE POLICE VEHICLE – DRIVING – DAWN

Detective (Mick) McSorley (50) and his partner, Detective Boychuk (45) rush to the crime scene on the beach.

3 – EXT. PENINSULA BEACH – MINUTES LATER

Mick and Boychuk join local Sheriff and Police and Harbormaster. They surround the badly burned corpse wondering who it is. Angry, Mick orders a search party across the tip of Cape Cod and out at sea.

VO by young married man, Terri, ends.

DAY BEFORE

4 – EXT. MULLENS CLUB – SOUTH BOSTON, MA – NIGHT

Fitz (40) a brick shithouse and a wily Old Goon (50) beat Ronni (24) with clubs. Ronni’s a big guy for his age. And mean. The beat down ends.

Ronni disappears into a nearby liquor store. The other guys enter the club.

5 – INT. MULLENS CLUB – NIGHT

Intro Red, the local mob boss, in shadow with his criminal gang. As they discuss how tough Ronni is, Ronni smashes Red’s car with a liquor bottle.

6 – EXT. GRANARY BURIAL GROUND – BOSTON PROPER – NIGHT

Ronni, his brother, Terri (22), and Ronni’s young moll, Rose (21) steal Paul Revere’s headstone from a tourist cemetery and hide it in a basement to sell back to the city of Boston… It’s July 4^th!

7 – EXT. BOSTON HARBOR – NIGHT

Miles offshore. We get a first glimpse of Red, meanness personified, as he and his gang oversee a drug smuggling operation between two trawlers. One of them is named ‘The Ugly Boat’.

8 – EXT. STREET – SOUTH BOSTON – NIGHT

Outside Rose’s house. Terri, Ronni and Rose arrive in an Uber, half drunk. Ronni assaults the driver and scares him away without paying the fare.

9 – INT. MULLENS CLUB – NIGHT

After hours. The Old Goon stops beating a guy when Red and Fitz arrive. Red cuts the guy free for giving him needed information about the police drug unit. The guy is a cop. He thanks Red.

10 – INT. ROSE’S APARTMENT – SOUTH BOSTON – NIGHT

Terri, Ronni, and Rose party with booze. Ronni tries to pimp off Rose to Terri. Rose gets pissed. Angry and threatening, Ronni goes to bed.

Terri and Rose wake up early morning. Rose scared she might have crossed a line with Terri. Terri scared to go home to his young wife, Kat.

11 – EXT. SOUTH BOSTON STREET – MORNING

Walking home Terri is chased by Red, Fitz, and the Old Goon in Red’s smashed car. They tell him that Ronni is a wanted man. Terri gets away, cursing after them.

12 – INT. TERRI’S APARTMENT – MORNING

Run down. Used everything. His young wife, Kat (20), and disabled child, Bryanne (2) don’t believe he was working all night at the Boston Globe newspaper. This is nothing new. It’s destroying the marriage. He sleeps.

13 – EXT./INT. BOSTON FISH PIER – THE UGLY BOAT – DAY

Deserted pier on July 4^th holiday. Owner of this 40-foot trawler is Diesel (60). He’s shacked up with his moll, Izzy (40s) who hates her husband. They get a phone call from Red. Diesel is skeptical, but Izzy is overjoyed.

They leave the boat to go celebrate over lunch in the North End waterfront.

14 – TERRI’S APERTMENT- DAY

Kat is skeptical that Terri’s hanging around with Ronni and his scams again instead of finding a job. Terri fails to admit the truth about work to Kat. She warns him about leaving their marriage behind.

He makes a solemn promise to meet her at Bryanne’s doctor after work. They make up.

15 – EXT. STREETS – SOUTH BOSTON – DAY

Terri, in his work clothes, is heading back to Ronni at Rose’s apartment when Red and his goons beat the shite out of him.

16 – INT./EXT. ROSE’S APARTMENT – DAY

As Ronni and Terri get high on the back porch, they decide to ransom back Paul Revere’s headstone to quiet Red. But the city of Boston doesn’t care if they stole it: they’ll just replace it with another one. Ronni has a new plan.

17 – INT. BOUTIQUE NAIL SALON – DAY

Rose gets a phone call from Ronni. Then intentionally cuts off the tip of a lady’s toe to get out of work early.

18 – EXT. THREE DECKER – ROSE’S HOUSE – DAY

Terri, scared, and Ronni, nonplussed, wait outside until Rose pulls up in an old SUV.

19 – EXT. A STREET – SOUTH BOSTON – DAY

Red and Fitz pick up a duffle from an auto body shop.

20 – EXT. NORTH END STREETS – BOSTON – DAY

Diesel and Izzy wander into the North End with hundreds of other tourists.

21 – EXT./INT. BANK – NORTH END STREETS – DAY

Ronni, Terri, and Izzy rob a bank. Escape into the tourist filled streets with police giving chase.

22 – INT. RESTAURANT – BOUTIQUE HOTEL – DAY

Tony and Izzy watch the police cruisers race down the street.

23 – EXT. NORTH ENDS STREETS – DAY

Ronni, Terri, and Rose run into a wall of tourists outside Old North Church. Sirens echoing throughout the neighborhood has everyone on edge.

Ronni drops the cash. It scatters.

24 – EXT. NORTH ENDS STREET – DAY

Diesel and Izzy exit the boutique hotel, holding hands.

25 – EXT. NORTH END WATERFRONT – DAY

Ronni, Terri, and Rose exit a café rear and run to last street before the waterfront. They stare hopelessly at Boston harbor and the fish pier below.

26 – EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – FISH PIER – DAY

Diesel and Izzy reach the boat. Izzy backs inside, kissing Diesel.

Diesel and Izzy kiss madly when Red and Fitz enter with the duffle. Red discusses their smuggling operation and gives them the money.

All the while, Ronni, Terri, and Rose listen and spy from behind a berth door and decide to overtake Red, et al, when they go outside to inspect the hidden bales of drugs on deck.

Terri is the only member that doesn’t like the idea but feels the need to hold onto his family is greater than the threat.

27 – EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – DAY

Ronni follows Red and Fitz out to the deck, while Terri and Rose subdue Diesel and Izzy. It must be noted that Ronni and Rose have guns.

DECK

Ronni beats on Red after being insulted and tosses Fitz into the water to drown.

DEN/GALLEY

Terri and Rose search inside for weapons and money.

Ronni and Red return.

Red tied up. Diesel refuses to take the boat out of the harbor to escape police looking for Ronni, Terri, and Rose. Ronni beats Diesel until Izzy cooperates, and they sail into open water.

28 – EXT. BOSTON FISH PIER – DAY

State Police Operations Command Vehicle trailer sits nearby.

Boston Police with dogs and bicycles surround Detective Mic and Boychuk (from opening scene) who order copies of all surrounding security cameras.

29 – INT./EXT. THE UGLY BOAT – DAY

WHEELHOUSE

Terri and Rose guard Izzy at the wheel as Diesel recovers from injuries. Izzy offers to help them get out this mess. Rose declines.

30 – DECK

Red taunts Ronni. Ronni pushes around Red while inspecting all the illegal drugs. Red behaves unaffected and attempts to talk Ronni into turning back before it’s too late.

Ronni orders Rose and Diesel out to the deck. They comply.

31 – WHEELHOUSE

Izzy again attempts to convince Terri to let her contact police. Ronni orders them both out to the deck. Izzy puts the boat on auto pilot while Terri secretly observes her every step.

32 – DECK

Red lampoons the situation. His way of insulting everyone individually with satire. Ronni reveals the drugs to Rose and Terri. Diesel is forced to get rid of anything that could be used as a weapon.

Ronni collects everyone’s cellphone except Rose and Terri and goes back to the wheelhouse with Diesel.

33 – WHEELHOUSE

Ronni destroys the SIM cards. Keeps the expensive phones to pawn. Diesel explains navigational instruments, and they talk about where to go with little fuel.

A message comes across the radio that a severe storm is headed their way.

34 – DECK

Terri inspects the deck, net drum, and steel plates. Izzy tries to befriend him about their lives and what they have in common.

Rose, curious about the fish pens, has Izzy and Terri join her to explain they’re empty. When they lean into the space, Izzy reveals a hidden flare pistol to Red that is concealed in a seamless compartment.

Red continues to lampoon Terri and Rose with threats. Rose strikes him,

35 – WHEELHOUSE

Red listens for a police broadcast concerning the bank heist. There is none. Diesel tells him that the instrument they need to navigate is a GPS finder. So Ronni rips the wires from all remaining instruments, save radio and GPS.

36 – DECK/WHEELHOUSE

With all weapons tossed overboard, Terri, Rose, Izzy, and Red climb the outside stairs to the wheelhouse.

Terri wants to know Ronni’s plan, but Ronni warns him to be quiet. Izzy taunts Ronni and Terri over who is in charge. Red laughs at their naivete.

37 – INT. STATE POLICE OPERATIONS COMMAND VEHICLE – DAY

Detectives Mick and Boychuk watch security tape and discover Red with the owners of the boat and the trio who robbed the bank. They bring in the Coast Guard to begin a search.

38 – INT. THE UGLY BOAT – NIGHT

WHEELHOUSE

Red guards Izzy and Diesel at the helm as they ride into rough seas.

39 – DEN/GALLEY

As they’re searching for anything to steal, Terri confesses to Rose that he’s nervous about Ronni’s cruel behavior and asks her to talk Ronni into stopping. She refuses, unwilling to see the harm or change in Ronni.

40 – WHEELHOUSE

Ronni threatens Diesel to remain on course and forces Izzy down into the —

41 – DEN/GALLEY

Terri and Rose retreat to the Den, cautious of Ronni. Ronni has Izzy search for food: no one has eaten for hours by now. While feigning interest, she overhears Ronni ask Terri if he can drive the boat. He plans to deep six them. Terri replies not yet.

Terri receives a message from Fitz! He survived. Instead of telling Terri to free Red, he tells him to make sure he dies, or Terri’s wife and kid will die. Ronni asks about the call and Terri tells him Kat was just asking about their date tomorrow.

42 – WHEELHOUSE

Snacking on chips and water. Diesel steers into the storm now, waves crashing over the bow. Rose frightened they might lose the drugs on deck. Ronni orders everyone to stay put while Izzy describes the possible danger they’re facing and that everyone on board is needed to survive.

Red suggests Ronni should do something to protect the drugs. Ronni takes a handful of life jackets out to the –

43 – DECK

Ronni straps life jackets on bales of drugs, a daisy chain. The boat suddenly jerks to the side throwing Ronni over the rail, but he manages to save himself from going over by clenching a halyard.

44 – WHEELHOUSE

Diesel sharply turns the wheel. Rose slaps him with the gun after witnessing Ronni almost get thrown in the water. Was it a ploy? Izzy and Terri tell Rose there was a large object in their path: Diesel turned to avoid it.

An alert from police comes across the radio. Diesel turns down the volume: Izzy understanding he wants Terri and Rose to not hear it. But Terri catches their act and turns up the volume. It reports, everyone on board is considered dangerous. Red discovers they robbed a bank.

Ronni returns, angry, blames Terri, but Rose defends Terri’s action when Diesel tried to hide the police alert. He beats Diesel for almost throwing him overboard and orders him, Izzy, and Rose downstairs. Rose objects because they need them to operate the boat. Ronni takes the gun from Rose, hands it to Terri, and tells him to operate the boat and keep watch over Red.

45 – DEN/GALLEY

Ronni wants Izzy and Diesel to have sex in front of him and Rose, punishment for trying to kill him.

46 – WHEELHOUSE

Terri uses what little knowledge he learned by watching Diesel and Izzy operate the boat. Red discusses the bank robbery to turn Terri against Ronni. Terri overhears Izzy and Rose screaming from the Den/Galley.

47 – DEN/GALLEY

Terri rushes down the stairs to stop Ronni. The bow of the boat rises like a roller coaster and slams down. Everyone gets thrown. Terri loses his gun to the floor. He and Diesel and Terri eye it, troubled.

48 – EXT. FISHERMAN’S WHARF – GLOUCESTER – NIGHT

Police tell Izzy’s husband, Luca, about the situation she’s mixed up with.

49 – EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – NIGHT

WHEELHOUSE

As the boat rides waves like a roller coaster, Ronni stands guard over Diesel with both guns now. Red is unconscious from the fall the boat took earlier.

50 – DEN/GALLEY

While making coffee, Izzy suggests to Rose they subdue Ronni because he’s turning psychotic with too much power – and he could possibly hurt Terri.

51 – DECK

Terri is outside fighting the elements searching for floating devices.

52 – WHEELHOUSE

The storm batters the boat windshield. Ronni regrets tearing wires from all the navigational equipment. He wants it repaired.

Terri enters from the outside stairs from the deck. The rain and seawater cover Red. He wakes to hear Ronni blaming Terri for the mess they are in because he didn’t learn how to operate the boat. Red agrees with Ronni.

Terri can’t fix the wires and goes down to the Den/Galley to get Izzy.

53 – DEN/GALLEY

Before bringing coffee up to the wheelhouse, Izzy, Terri, and Rose agree to stop Ronni – but only if Rose gets to keep the money.

54 – WHEELHOUSE

Izzy helps fix the wiring to the navigation screen. Rose returns to the –

55 – DEN

Rose smokes a joint, worried. Gets high. Leaves with a bottle of sambuca.

56 – WHEELHOUSE

Ronni drinks the sambuca and gives some to Red. He accuses Rose of being high and worried: why? Terri and Izzy are nervous she’ll tell Ronni about their plan.

Diesel gets the Navigation screen working and Ronni learns what all the information means. He decides they ride straight past the tip of Cape Cod to Rhode Island, and through the heart of the storm.

Ronni takes Terri and Red downstairs to the den/galley. On passing Izzy she warns him that Terri and Red cannot be trusted. Rose remains with a gun?

57 – DEN/GALLEY

Ronni accuses Terri and Red of conspiring. Terri gets a pass when Red tells them that Ronni is his son and returns to the wheelhouse. But Ronni drags Red out to the deck.

58 – WHEELHOUSE

Terri and Rose and Izzy watch Ronni and Red on the deck.

59 – DECK

Ronni kills Red.

60 – WHEELHOUSE

After witnessing the murder, Rose turns for/against? Terri’s and Izzy’s plan to subdue Ronni.

Ronni returns, fires a shot over head, and threatens to kill Terri: he believes Terri talked Rose into conspiracy and blames him for her murder. But he needs everyone that’s left to make it through this storm, safely.

61 – INT. COMMAND CENTER – BOSTON COAST GUARD BASE – NIGHT

The search for the boat is suspended. Detectives Mic and Boychuk leave for the Cape Cod CG base and will remain there until the storm clears and search resumes.

61 – EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – NIGHT

The boat struggles against huge, crashing waves. It’s difficult to control for Diesel and Izzy.

62 – WHEELHOUSE

Ronni discovers a second blip on the navigation screen that’s closing in on their location. It could be the Coast Guard, after all. They attempt to outmaneuver possible contact, but the blip keeps following them.

63 – EXT. SMALL PLEASURE CRAFT – NIGHT

A small boat, seeing aide, approaches Ugly Boat.

64 – EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – SAME

OUTSIDE STAIRS TO DECK

Ronni engages the small boat with gunshots, until the driver flees.

65 – WHEELHOUSE

Ronni enters from the outside stairs. Rounds up everyone remaining. A serious weather alert blasts from the radio reminding them they’re cruising ahead into an already deadly situation. He goes berserk and destroys the radio.

He forces everyone to sing a rotating chorus of Row, Row, Your Boat.

66 – INT. TERRI’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Terri’s wife, Kat, learns about the bank robbery via news. She texts Terri and tells him she and the baby are leaving him for good.

67 – EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT

Ronni humming the song. Boat fighting through the storm.

Terri tears after sending Kat a return text: apologies. Ronni reads their exchange and tells Terri that he’s better off. Diesel sticks up for Terri and Ronni bashes him. Izzy defends Diesel.

Terri goes on deck to secure the drugs, after lying to Ronni about the need.

68 – DECK

Angry, Terri throws bales of drugs overboard in the storm.

69 – WHEELHOUSE

Globs of pot stick to the window. Ronni realizes what it is and storms outside to stop Terri. Izzy goes downstairs into the den/galley.

70 – DECK

In the middle of a ferocious storm, Ronni chases down Terri and stabs him with a knife, leaving him for dead.

Izzy sneaks on deck and fires the hidden flare pistol at Ronni. It misses him and starts a fire. It looks like she was aiming at the two of them. She runs up the outside stairs to the wheelhouse.

71 – WHEELHOUSE

Izzy rushes inside. Diesel helps to barricade the door, but Ronni busts in and knocks him to the floor. Ronni is about to kill him when Terri appears through black smoke and clobbers Ronni over the head: Ronni’s out cold.

72 – DECK

Terri and Izzy drag Ronni down the stairs and toss him overboard. He fights to survive but is eventually drowned away by the waves.

Fire consumes everything, including the wheelhouse. Diesel attempts to escape.

73 – EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT

The boat explodes.

74 – EXT. OCEAN WATER – DAY

Terri badly wounded and burned floats to a buoy with Izzy who is less injured. They agree on an alibi and to split whatever cash and drugs survived.

As the sound of a rescue helicopter draws near, Izzy forces Terri under water. He drowns.

75 – EXT. PENNINSULA BEACH – DAY

The helicopter lands on the beach where this story started.

Izzy is removed by EMTs, questioned by Detectives Mic and Boychuk who are only interested in what happened to Red. She plays the clueless, grieving victim on her way to the hospital.

Detective Mic orders the search for Red to continue.

CHANGES:

#12 – added changes to Izzy and her husband, Lucca, giving cause to be on the boat.

#14 – removed Izzy from the scene and Diesel alone receiving a call from Red while stacking crates of illegal pot on deck. This allows for Izzy to have an excuse to visit Boston and push their lunch date to #21.

#15 –

#16 – added a small-time crook scam to Terri’s resume to make his habit of not working more believable.

#17 – another failed scam added to add plausibility to Ronni’s and Terri’s failure as criminals and create reason to upgrade to a bank heist.

#21 – changed Izzy’s and Diesel’s rendezvous date to a fresh location to turn the scene into a situation.

#25 – added the appearance of Paul Revere on horseback to echo the missing headstone and to improve the reason why Ronni loses the money from the bank heist.

#26 – included a fresh way for Izzy and Diesel to return to the boat: by pedi bike.

#46, 47, 48 – moved Red’s death scene closer to the mid-point because it heightens Ronni’s change to psychopath and adds to continuity of events.

#86 – added additional information about the police recovery after discovering the first body. It allows a slower and more revealing ending.

#87 – Just for the hell of it, I developed a safe ending for Terri’s family, although ambiguous.

REVISED LIST OF STORY BEATS:

1 – EXT. PENINSULA BEACH – CAPE COD – DAWN

As a powerful summer storm cuts out to sea a man cherry picks debris from a shipwreck left behind. A dead body rises into his face!

VO by young married man, Terri, explaining the danger of want for money.

2 – INT./EXT. STATE POLICE VEHICLE – DRIVING – DAWN

Detective (Mick) McSorley (50) and his partner, Detective Boychuk (45) rush to the crime scene on the beach.

3 – EXT. PENINSULA BEACH – MINUTES LATER

Mick and Boychuk join local Sheriff and Police and Harbormaster. They surround the badly burned corpse wondering who it is. Angry, Mick orders a search party across the tip of Cape Cod and out at sea.

VO by young married man, Terri, ends.

DAY BEFORE

4 – EXT. MULLENS CLUB – SOUTH BOSTON, MA – NIGHT

Fitz (40) a brick shithouse and a wily Old Goon (50) beat Ronni (24) with clubs. Ronni’s a big guy for his age. And mean. The beat down ends.

Ronni disappears into a nearby liquor store. The other guys enter the club.

5 – INT. MULLENS CLUB – NIGHT

Intro Red, the local mob boss, in shadow with his criminal gang. As they discuss how tough Ronni is, Ronni smashes Red’s car with a liquor bottle.

6 – EXT. GRANARY BURIAL GROUND – BOSTON PROPER – NIGHT

Ronni, his brother, Terri (22), and Ronni’s young moll, Rose (21) steal Paul Revere’s headstone from a tourist cemetery. They plan to sell back to the city of Boston for ransom money… It’s July 4^th!

7 – INT. APARTMENT BASEMENT – NIGHT

Ronni, Terri, and Rose and hide it in the rear of a basement and leave to celebrate.

8 – EXT. BOSTON HARBOR – NIGHT

Miles offshore. We get a first glimpse of Red, meanness personified, as he and his gang oversee a drug smuggling operation between two trawlers. One of them is named ‘The Ugly Boat’.

9 – EXT. STREET – SOUTH BOSTON – NIGHT

Outside Rose’s house. Terri, Ronni and Rose arrive in an Uber, half drunk. Ronni assaults the driver and scares him away without paying the fare.

10 – INT. MULLENS CLUB – NIGHT

After hours. The Old Goon stops beating a guy when Red and Fitz arrive. Red finds his hidden ankle knife and cuts the guy free for giving him needed information about the police drug unit. The guy is a cop. He thanks Red.

11 – INT. ROSE’S APARTMENT – SOUTH BOSTON – NIGHT

Terri, Ronni, and Rose party with booze. Ronni tries to pimp off Rose to Terri. Rose gets pissed. Angry and threatening, Ronni goes to bed.

Terri and Rose wake up early morning. Rose scared she might have crossed a line with Terri. Terri scared to go home to his young wife, Kat.

12 – HOUSE – GLOUCESTER, MA – MORNING

Izzy (40s) leaves her mean husband behind in their bankrupt fishing town for a train into Boston searching for work.

13 – EXT. SOUTH BOSTON STREET – MORNING

Walking home Terri is chased by Red, Fitz, and the Old Goon in Red’s smashed car. They tell him that Ronni is a wanted man. Terri gets away, cursing after them.

14 – INT. TERRI’S APARTMENT – MORNING

Run down. Used everything. His young wife, Kat (20), and disabled child, Bryanne (2) don’t believe he was working all night at the Boston Globe newspaper. This is nothing new. It’s destroying the marriage. He sleeps.

15 – EXT./INT. BOSTON FISH PIER – THE UGLY BOAT – DAY

The same 40-foot trawler from night before is docked at the deserted pier: everyone home for July 4^th holiday. It’s owner, Diesel (60), organizes crates/containers on the deck. He receives a phone call from Red.

16 – TERRI’S APARTMENT- DAY

Terri awakes and readies for work. Kat is skeptical that he’s hanging around with Ronni and his scams again instead of finding a job. Terri fails to admit the truth about work to Kat. She warns him about leaving their marriage behind.

He makes a solemn promise to meet her at Bryanne’s doctor after work. They make up.

17 – EXT. STREETS – SOUTH BOSTON – DAY

Terri, in his work clothes, is heading back to Ronni at Rose’s apartment. Along the way he drops into various ATMs to collect cash from a “cash trapping” scam.

Red and his goons apprehend him, take what little money Terri has, and beat the shite out of him.

18 – INT./EXT. ROSE’S APARTMENT – DAY

As Ronni and Terri get high on the back porch, they decide to ransom back Paul Revere’s headstone to quiet Red. But the city of Boston doesn’t care if they stole it: they’ll just replace it with another one.

Ronni reveals a scam he’s working with Rose: listing stolen goods online, counterfeit luxury brands. But goods are hard to find. So he has a new plan.

19 – INT. BOUTIQUE NAIL SALON – DAY

Rose gets a phone call from Ronni. Then she intentionally cuts off the tip of a lady’s toe to get out of work early.

20 – EXT. THREE DECKER – ROSE’S HOUSE – DAY

Terri, scared, and Ronni, nonplussed, wait outside until Rose pulls up in an old SUV.

21 – EXT. A STREET – SOUTH BOSTON – DAY

Red and Fitz pick up a duffle from an auto body shop.

22 – EXT. NORTH END STREETS – AQUARIUM – BOSTON – DAY

Izzy wanders into the North End with hundreds of other tourists. She meets Diesel. They embrace/kiss. He tells her about Red. He looks skeptical, but Izzy is overjoyed. They buy a bottle of beer and celebrate lunch while sitting on a bench in front of the Aquarium watching seals swim.

23 – EXT./INT. BANK – NORTH END STREETS – DAY

Ronni, Terri, and Rose rob a bank. Escape into the tourist filled streets with police giving chase.

24 – EXT. AQUARIUM – BOSTON – DAY

Diesel and Izzy watch the police cruisers race down the street. Izzy calls Lucca to tell him she’s going to miss the train. Lies that there’s a problem with police at the train station.

25 – EXT. NORTH END STREETS – DAY

Ronni, Terri, and Rose run into a wall of tourists outside Old North Church. Sirens echoing throughout the neighborhood has everyone on edge.

Character actor dressed like Paul Revere sits atop a horse. It frightens and rears up. It causes Ronni to drop the cash. It scatters, lost in the crowd.

26 – EXT. AQUARIUM – BOSTON – DAY

Diesel and Izzy exit in a pedi bike, arms wrapped around each other.

27 – EXT. NORTH END WATERFRONT – DAY

Ronni, Terri, and Rose exit a café rear and run to last street before the waterfront. They stare hopelessly at Boston harbor and the fish pier below.

28 – EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – FISH PIER – DAY

Diesel and Izzy reach the boat. Izzy backs inside, kissing Diesel.

Diesel and Izzy kiss madly when Red and Fitz enter with the duffle. Red discusses their smuggling operation and gives them the money.

All the while, Ronni, Terri, and Rose listen and spy from behind a berth door and decide to overtake Red, et al, when they go outside to inspect the hidden bales of drugs on deck.

Terri is the only member who doesn’t like the idea, but he feels the need to hold onto his family is greater than backing out.

29 – EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – DAY

Ronni cold cocks Diesel with his gun and follows Red and Fitz out to the deck, while Terri and Rose subdue Izzy.

30 – DECK

Ronni beats Red after being insulted and tosses Fitz into the water to drown.

31 – DEN/GALLEY

While Terri and Rose search inside for weapons and money, Diesel’s cell rings. They secure his phone and Izzy’s cell/

32 – FISH DOCK – GLOUCESTER – DAY

Lucca leaves a message asking Diesel to call Izzy and give her a ride home to Gloucester.

33 – EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – DAY

DEN/GALLEY

Ronni and Red return.

Red tied up. Diesel refuses to take the boat out of the harbor. Ronni beats Diesel until Izzy cooperates, and they sail into open water.

34 – EXT. BOSTON FISH PIER – DAY

State Police Operations Command Vehicle trailer sits nearby.

Boston Police with dogs and bicycles surround Detective Mic and Boychuk (from opening scene) who order copies of all surrounding security cameras.

35 – INT./EXT. THE UGLY BOAT – DAY

WHEELHOUSE

Terri and Rose guard Izzy at the wheel as Diesel recovers from injuries. Izzy

offers to help them get out this mess. Rose declines.

36 – DECK

Red taunts Ronni. Ronni pushes Red around while inspecting all the illegal drugs. Red behaves unaffected and attempts to talk Ronni into turning back before it’s too late.

Ronni orders Rose and Diesel out to the deck. They comply.

37 – WHEELHOUSE

Izzy again attempts to convince Terri to let her contact police. Ronni orders them both out to the deck. Izzy puts the boat on auto pilot while Terri secretly observes her every step.

38 – DECK

Red lampoons the situation. His way of insulting everyone individually with satire. Ronni reveals the drugs to Rose and Terri. Diesel is forced to get rid of anything that could be used as a weapon.

Ronni collects everyone’s cellphone except Rose and Terri and goes back to the wheelhouse with Diesel.

39 – WHEELHOUSE

Ronni destroys the SIM cards. Keeps the expensive phones to pawn. Diesel explains navigational instruments, and they talk about where to go with little fuel.

A message comes across the radio that a severe storm is headed their way.

40 – DECK

Terri inspects the deck, net drum, and steel plates. Izzy tries to befriend him about their lives and what they have in common.

Rose, curious about the fish pens, has Izzy and Terri join her to explain they’re empty. When they lean into the space, Izzy reveals a hidden flare pistol to Red that is concealed in a seamless compartment.

Red continues to lampoon Terri and Rose with threats. Rose strikes him.

41 – WHEELHOUSE

Ronni listens for a police broadcast concerning the bank heist. There is none. Diesel tells him that the instrument they need to navigate is a GPS finder. So Ronni rips the wires from all remaining instruments, save radio and GPS.

42 – DECK/WHEELHOUSE

With all weapons tossed overboard, Terri, Rose, Izzy, and Red climb the outside stairs to the wheelhouse.

Terri wants to know Ronni’s plan, but Ronni warns him to be quiet. Izzy taunts Ronni and Terri over who is in charge. Red laughs at their naivete.

43- INT. STATE POLICE OPERATIONS COMMAND VEHICLE – DAY

Detectives Mick and Boychuk watch security tape and discover Red with the owners of the boat and the trio who robbed the bank. They bring in the Coast Guard to begin a search.

44 – INT. THE UGLY BOAT – NIGHT

WHEELHOUSE

Red guards Izzy and Diesel at the helm as they ride into rough seas.

45 – DEN/GALLEY

As they’re searching for anything to steal, Terri confesses to Rose that he’s nervous about Ronni’s cruel behavior and asks her to talk Ronni into stopping. She refuses, unwilling to see the harm or change in Ronni.

46 – WHEELHOUSE

Ronni threatens Diesel to remain on course and forces Izzy and Red down into the —

47 – DEN/GALLEY

Terri and Rose retreat to the Den, cautious of Ronni. Ronni has Izzy search for food: no one has eaten for hours by now. While feigning interest, she overhears Ronni ask Terri if he can drive the boat. He plans to deep six them. Terri replies not yet.

Red badgers Ronni and Terri. He tells the room that he’s Ronni father. Terri turns wary of Ronni over the revelation. Ronni doesn’t trust his reaction. He hands the gun over to Rose and forces Red out to the –

48 – DECK

While arguing, Red pulls his knife on Ronni. They wrestle for the knife before Ronni stabs him to death, tossing his body overboard.

49 – DEN/GALLEY

Everyone is shocked. The situation has become very real now.

Terri receives a message from Fitz! He survived the drowning. He threatens to kill Terri’s family if Terri doesn’t save Red.

50 – WHEELHOUSE

Diesel steers into the storm, waves crashing over the bow. Rose, Terri, and Izzy climb up from below. The atmosphere somber. Rose stares out at the deck.

51 – DECK

Ronni straps life jackets to bales of drugs, a daisy chain. The boat suddenly jerks to the side throwing Ronni over the rail, but he manages to save himself from going over by clenching a halyard.

52 – WHEELHOUSE

Diesel sharply turns the wheel. Rose slaps him with the gun after witnessing Ronni almost get thrown in the water. Was it a ploy? Izzy and Terri swear there was a large object in their path: Diesel turned to avoid it.

An alert from police comes across the radio. Diesel turns down the volume: Izzy understanding he wants Terri and Rose to not hear it. But Terri catches their act and turns up the volume. It reports, everyone on board is considered dangerous.

Ronni returns, angry, blames Terri, but Rose defends Terri’s action when Diesel tried to hide the police alert. He beats Diesel for almost throwing him overboard and orders him, Izzy, and Rose downstairs. Rose objects because they need them to operate the boat. Ronni takes the gun from Rose and tells Terri to operate the boat.

53 – DEN/GALLEY

Ronni antagonizes Izzy and Diesel to have sex in front of him and Rose, punishment for trying to kill him.

54 – WHEELHOUSE

Terri uses what little knowledge he learned by watching Diesel and Izzy and steers the boat. He hears Izzy and Rose screaming from the Den/Galley.

55 – DEN/GALLEY

Terri rushes down the stairs to stop Ronni. Ronni threatens him to kiss Izzy because he thinks they’re “too” friendly. The bow of the boat rises like a roller coaster and slams down. Everyone gets thrown. Ronni loses his gun to the floor. He and Terri eye it, suspicious of each other.

56 – EXT. FISHERMAN’S WHARF – GLOUCESTER – NIGHT

Police tell Izzy’s husband, Lucca, about the situation she’s mixed up with.

57 – EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – NIGHT

WHEELHOUSE

As the boat rides waves like a roller coaster, Ronni stands guard over Diesel holding the gun.

58 – DEN/GALLEY

While making coffee, Izzy suggests to Rose they subdue Ronni because he’s turning psychotic with too much power – and he could possibly hurt Terri.

59 – DECK

Terri is outside fighting the elements searching for more floating devices because Ronni used most of them to protect the drugs.

60 – WHEELHOUSE

The storm batters the boat windshield. Ronni regrets tearing wires from all the navigational equipment. He wants it repaired. Diesel can’t do it.

Terri enters from the outside stairs from the deck. Ronni wants him to fix the wires. He can’t do it either and goes down to the Den/Galley to get Izzy.

61 – DEN/GALLEY

Before bringing coffee up to the wheelhouse, Izzy, Terri, and Rose agree to stop Ronni but only if they don’t hurt him.

62 – WHEELHOUSE

Izzy helps fix the wiring to the navigation screen. Rose returns to the –

63 – DEN

Rose smokes a joint, worried. Gets high. Leaves with a bottle of sambuca.

64 – WHEELHOUSE

Ronni drinks the sambuca. He accuses Rose of being high and worried: but why? Terri and Izzy are nervous she’ll tell Ronni about their plan.

Diesel gets the navigation screen working and Ronni learns what all the information means. He decides they ride straight past the tip of Cape Cod to Rhode Island, and through the heart of the storm.

Ronni takes Terri and Rose downstairs to the den/galley. On passing Izzy she warns him that they can’t be trusted.

65 – DEN/GALLEY

Ronni accuses Terri and Rose of conspiring. Terri gets pissed and returns to the wheelhouse. Ronni rages to Rose. She’s high. He can’t believe she would betray him. He drags her out to the deck.

66 – WHEELHOUSE

Terri and Izzy watch Ronni and Rose on the deck.

67 – DECK

Ronni kills Rose, losing his mind.

68 – WHEELHOUSE

After witnessing the murder, Terri backs out of their plan to subdue Ronni.

Ronni returns, fires a shot over head, and threatens to kill Terri: he holds him responsible for Rose. But he needs everyone to make it through the storm, safely.

69 – INT. COMMAND CENTER – BOSTON COAST GUARD BASE – NIGHT

The search for the boat is suspended. Detectives Mic and Boychuk leave for the Cape Cod CG base and will remain there until the storm clears and search resumes.

70 – EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – NIGHT

The boat struggles against huge, crashing waves. It’s difficult to control for Diesel and Izzy.

71 – WHEELHOUSE

Ronni discovers a second blip on the navigation screen that’s closing in on their location. It could be the Coast Guard. They attempt to outmaneuver possible contact, but the blip keeps following them.

72 – EXT. SMALL PLEASURE CRAFT – NIGHT

A small boat, seeing aide, approaches the Ugly Boat.

73 – EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT – SAME

OUTSIDE STAIRS TO DECK

Ronni engages the small boat with gunshots, until the driver flees.

74 – WHEELHOUSE

Ronni enters from the outside stairs. A serious weather alert blasts from the radio reminding them they’re cruising ahead into an already deadly situation. He goes berserk and destroys the radio.

In a psychotic breakdown, he forces everyone to sing a rotating chorus of Row, Row, Your Boat.

75 – INT. TERRI’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Terri’s wife, Kat, learns about the bank robbery via news. She texts Terri and tells him she and the baby are leaving him for good.

76 – EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT

WHEELHOUSE

Ronni humming the song. The boat fighting through the storm.

Terri cries after sending Kat a return text: a desperate plea for her to find cash he’s been saving and leave town without him.

Ronni reads their exchange and tells Terri that he’s better off.

Terri leaves for the deck.

77 – DECK

Enraged, Terri throws bales of drugs into the storm.

78 – WHEELHOUSE

Globs of pot stick to the window. Ronni realizes what it is and storms outside to stop Terri. Izzy goes downstairs into the den/galley.

79 – DECK

Ronni chases Terri. He loses the gun in the ferocious storm. But catches Terri and stabs him with the knife, leaving him for dead.

Izzy sneaks on deck and finds the hidden flare pistol. She aims it at the two of them. But it misses and starts a fire. She escapes Ronni up the outside stairs to the wheelhouse.

80 – WHEELHOUSE

Izzy rushes inside. Diesel helps to barricade the door, but Ronni busts in and knocks him to the floor. Ronni is about to kill him when Terri appears through black smoke and clobbers Ronni over the head.

81 – DECK

Terri and Izzy drag Ronni down the stairs and toss him overboard. He fights to survive but is eventually drowned away by the waves.

Fire consumes everything, including the wheelhouse. Diesel dives outside.

82 – EXT./INT. THE UGLY BOAT

The boat explodes.

83 – EXT. OCEAN WATER – DAY

The storm is miles away. Terri, badly wounded and burned, floats to a buoy with Izzy who is less injured. They agree on an alibi and to split whatever cash and drugs survived.

As the sound of a rescue helicopter draws near, Izzy forces Terri under water. He drowns.

84 – CAPE COD BEACH – DAY

The storm is miles offshore now. Detective Mic and Boychuk stand over two more damaged bodies: old male and young female, identities unknown. Bundles of drugs washed beside them.

They see the helicopter approaching.

85 – EXT. PENNINSULA BEACH – DAY

Same beach where this story started. The helicopter lands. Izzy is removed by EMTs and questioned by Detectives Mic and Boychuk who are only interested in what happened to Red. She plays the clueless, grieving victim on her way to the hospital.

Detective Mic orders the search for Red to continue.

86 – APARTMENT BASEMENT – DAY

Kat, Terri’s wife, digs deep behind the Paul revere headstone and removes a satchel full of cash. She leaves.

[Frank Gaide]

ASSIGNMENT 2:

Frank’s basic structure version 1

WHAT I LEARNED: This exercise was much more difficult than expected. First pass through I found myself overwriting between each of the 9 parts in structure. I was actually writing a complete outline because I didn’t want to leave out any scenes. I decided to rely on discovering the “core” of each part and limit the description to a logline style sentence or two. KISS.

TITLE: THE UGLY BOAT

LOGLINE:

When an aimless young thief and his cut-throat brother get trapped on a boat with a million dollars in mob money and four dangerous strangers scheming to eliminate each other, he must decide who he can trust to survive.

MAIN CONFLICT: Stepbrothers searching for respect, trust, and financial security in their private lives spills into their decision to kill each other over a million dollars.

1 – OPENING:

A dead body floats ashore with debris from a shipwreck. Police investigate.

DAY BEFORE

Terri and Ronni (stepbrothers in petty crime) and Rose (Ronni’s girlfriend) steal Paul Revere’s headstone for ransom. They hope to hustle some money from the City of Boston on 4^th of July.

It means money for Terri’s young family without working for it: and an escalation in Ronni’s criminal career.

2 – INCITING INCIDENT:

Ronni smashes a classic car owned by Red (local mob boss).

Red threatens to have Ronni disappear. So Ronni and Terri must ransom the headstone to pay him. But the City of Boston refuses to pay – they’ll just replace it. Ronni talks Terri and Rose into robbing a small bank near the waterfront.

Ronni gets to up his criminal career: and Terri gets to hold onto his failing marriage with the windfall of cash.

Izzy, cheating housewife, and Diesel, her boyfriend, take his 40-foot fishing trawler to Boston, miles away from their bankrupt fishing town. They go to lunch.

3 – YOU KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT:

Terri and Ronni need to find money real fast before Red kills Ronni and Terri loses his family.

4 – FIRST TURNING POINT END OF ACT 1:

Terri, Ronni, and Rose bungle the bank heist. With police searching for them, they stupidly escape to the waterfront and hide in a large unoccupied fishing boat.

Diesel and Izzy return to their boat. Terri, Ronni, and Rose hide within.

Red arrives and discusses his ongoing drug smuggling arrangement with Diesel and Izzy. Terri, Ronni, and Rose learn there’s illegal drugs on board and millions in mob money.

Leaving the harbor, Terri, Ronni, and Izzy overpower Red, Diesel, and Izzy.

Ronni orders the boat into a bad storm, to hideout.

Terri befriends Izzy over Ronni’s increased hostility and physical threats to Diesel, Red, and Izzy.

Terri learns how to operate the boat, secretly.

Police investigate the failed bank heist and discover Red on this boat and want to catch him.

Izzy’s husband unable to locate her.

5 – MIDPOINT:

Ronni tells Terri and Rose that he plans to kill Diesel and Izzy once Terri knows how to operate the boat.

Terri doesn’t want it to go that far and secretly aligns with Izzy to stop him and asks Rose to talk Ronni down from the threat. She refuses.

Red begins to mess with Ronni’s mind – reveals to him that Ronni is his son, cozies up to Izzy like they were secretly conspiring, plays Terri against Ronni.

Izzy and Diesel conspire to survive all of them.

All on board discover police and coast guard know who they are: and a very bad summer storm is heading their way.

Ronni forces Diesel to take the boat into the storm. It’s foolish and possibly deadly, but there’s no way the Coast Guard will follow.

Ronni believes everyone, except Rose, is scheming to overtake him for the money.

In a loss of sanity, Ronni kills Red on deck.

Rose agrees to help Terri stop Ronni.

Ronni will wait to kill Izzy and Diesel after they get him through this storm.

Rose and Terri attempt to talk Ronni into surrendering his gun. Ronni believes there’s a mutiny afoot with Izzy and Diesel.

He kills Rose and warns Terri to stop conspiring or he’ll kill his wife and child when this is over.

Terri backs out of helping Izzy and Diesel subdue Ronni: they want to kill Ronni, not subdue him.

6 – SECOND TURNING POINT END OF ACT 2:

With everyone on the boat fighting to make it safely through the storm: Terri’s wife learns about the bank robbery via news report — Izzy’s husband learns about the stolen boat via Sate Police — Police suspend any ocean search and ride down to Cape Cod and wait until morning to continue.

Kat texts Terri and tells him she and the baby are leaving him for good.

Angry, Terri throws bales of drugs overboard in the storm. Ronni stabs him with a knife, leaving him for dead.

Izzy sneaks on deck and fires a hidden flare pistol at Ronni. It misses him and starts a fire.

7 – CRISIS:

Ronni goes after Izzy and Diesel in the wheelhouse.

Terri survived Ronni’s assault and Terri rescues Izzy and Diesel from Ronni.

They toss Ronni overboard.

Fire consumes everything, including the wheelhouse.

8- CLIMAX:

The boat explodes.

Terri badly wounded and burned floats to a buoy with Izzy.

They agree on an alibi and to split whatever cash and drugs survived.

At the sound of a rescue helicopter, Izzy forces Terri under water.

He drowns.

9 – RESOLUTION:

Izzy flies to beach where all this started, the only survivor, playing victim.

SECOND LIST WITH IMPROVEMENTS

MAIN CONFLICT: Stepbrothers searching for respect, trust, and financial security in their private lives spills into their decision to kill each other over a million dollars.

1 – OPENING:

A dead body floats ashore with debris from a shipwreck. Police investigate.

DAY BEFORE

Terri and Ronni (stepbrothers in petty crime) and Rose (Ronni’s girlfriend) steal Paul Revere’s headstone for ransom. They hope to hustle some money from the City of Boston on 4^th of July.

It means money for Terri’s young family without working for it: and an escalation in Ronni’s criminal career.

2 – INCITING INCIDENT:

Ronni smashes a classic car owned by Red (local mob boss).

Fitz, Red’s enforcer, beats up Terri and gives him a warning.

(Fitz is a new character introduced into the equation of characters.)

Red threatens to have Ronni disappear. So Ronni and Terri must ransom the headstone to pay him. But the City of Boston refuses to pay – they’ll just replace it. Ronni talks Terri and Rose into robbing a small bank near the waterfront.

Ronni gets to up his criminal career: and Terri gets to hold onto his failing marriage with the windfall of cash.

Izzy, cheating housewife, and Diesel, her boyfriend, take his 40-foot fishing trawler to Boston, miles away from their bankrupt fishing town. They go to lunch.

3 – YOU KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT:

Terri and Ronni need to find money real fast before Red kills Ronni and Terri loses his family.

4 – FIRST TURNING POINT END OF ACT 1:

Terri, Ronni, and Rose bungle the bank heist. With police searching for them, they stupidly escape to the waterfront and hide in a large unoccupied fishing boat.

Diesel and Izzy return to their boat. Terri, Ronni, and Rose hide within.

Red and Fitz arrive and discuss their ongoing drug smuggling arrangement with Diesel and Izzy. Terri, Ronni, and Rose learn there’s illegal drugs on board and millions in mob money.

Terri, Ronni, and Izzy overpower Red, Diesel, and Izzy.

Ronni tosses Fitz into the water to drown.

(new element: Fitz left to drown.)

The boat Leaves the harbor.

Ronni orders the boat into a bad storm, to hideout.

Terri befriends Izzy over Ronni’s increased hostility and physical threats to Diesel, Red, and Izzy.

Terri learns how to operate the boat, secretly.

Police investigate the failed bank heist and discover Red on this boat and want to catch him.

Izzy’s husband unable to locate her.

5 – MIDPOINT:

Terri receives a call from his wife. It’s Fitz. He lived. Terri believes he wants Red back, but Fitz tells him to kill Red if he wants his wife and kid to live.

(new element that reflects on the theme of trust and creates dramatic irony that only we and Terri know. Also creates more POV for Terri placing his family in danger with difficult decisions to be made.)

Ronni tells Terri and Rose that he plans to kill Diesel and Izzy once Terri knows how to operate the boat.

Terri doesn’t want it to go that far and secretly aligns with Izzy to stop him and asks Rose to talk Ronni down from the threat. She refuses.

Red begins to mess with Ronni’s mind – reveals to him that Ronni is his son, cozies up to Izzy like they were secretly conspiring, plays Terri against Ronni. Terri begins to think Ronni and Red are conspiring.

Izzy and Diesel conspire to survive all of them.

All on board discover police and coast guard know who they are: and a very bad summer storm is heading their way.

Ronni forces Diesel to take the boat into the storm. It’s foolish and possibly deadly, but there’s no way the Coast Guard will follow.

Ronni believes everyone, except Rose, is scheming to overtake him for the money.

Terri convinces Ronni That it’s Red. In a loss of sanity, Ronni kills Red.

(new element: Terri uses deceit to save his wife and child from Fitz, but Fitz doesn’t know yet)

After the murder, Rose agrees to help Terri stop Ronni.

Ronni will wait to kill Izzy and Diesel after they get him through this storm.

Rose and Terri attempt to talk Ronni into surrendering his gun. Ronni believes there’s a mutiny afoot with Izzy and Diesel.

He kills Rose and warns Terri to stop conspiring or he’ll kill his wife and child when this is over.

Terri backs out of helping Izzy and Diesel subdue Ronni: they want to kill Ronni, not subdue him.

6 – SECOND TURNING POINT END OF ACT 2:

With everyone on the boat fighting to make it safely through the storm: Terri’s wife learns about the bank robbery via news report — Izzy’s husband learns about the stolen boat via Sate Police – and police suspend any ocean search and ride down to Cape Cod and wait until morning to continue.

Kat texts Terri and tells him she and the baby are leaving him for good.

Terri doesn’t tell her about Fitz, instead texts him that Red is dead.

(new element: Terri refuses to tell his wife about Fitz and does the honorable thing, accepting responsibility for the failed marriage. It signifies a dramatic change, and growth, in his arc.)

Angry, Terri throws bales of drugs overboard in the storm. Ronni stabs him with a knife, leaving him for dead.

Izzy sneaks on deck and fires a hidden flare pistol at Ronni. It misses him and starts a fire.

7 – CRISIS:

Ronni goes after Izzy and Diesel in the wheelhouse.

Terri survived Ronni’s assault and Terri rescues Izzy and Diesel from Ronni.

They toss Ronni overboard.

Fire consumes everything, including the wheelhouse.

8- CLIMAX:

The boat explodes.

Terri badly wounded and burned floats to a buoy with Izzy.

They agree on an alibi and to split whatever cash and drugs survived.

At the sound of a rescue helicopter, Izzy forces Terri under water.

He drowns.

9 – RESOLUTION:

Izzy flies to the beach where this story began, the only survivor. She plays victim to the police who are after Red. They never discover if he’s one of the dead bodies that washed ashore.

[Frank Gaide]

Frank Gaide – Assignment 1

WHAT I LEARNED:

It’s very difficult to discover the core of a story and sum it in one sentence. It’s a skill that obviously takes time and patience to master given all the elements in a first draft.

TITLE: THE UGLY BOAT

LOGLINE:

When an aimless young thief and his cut-throat brother get trapped on a boat with a million dollars in mob money and four dangerous strangers scheming to eliminate each other, he must decide who he can trust to survive.

ONE PAGE:

A couple low-level thieves (20’s), Terri, Ronni, and Rose who owe money to the local mob boss, Red, bungle a bank heist, and escape police by hiding in a boat. They soon discover it is carrying millions in mob money and drugs by spying on boat owner, Diesel, and his moll, Izzy, making a deal with the same mob boss they owe money to.

After the boat leaves Boston harbor, the low-level thieves commandeer the boat. During the night all six of them start scheming to eliminate each other and have the money for themselves. Double crosses, terror, and violence eventually leads to the boat exploding at sea.

The next morning leaves two survivors – Terri and Izzy – and remnants of cash and drugs. After drifting in open water to a nearby buoy, Izzy discovers how badly burned Terri is and proposes they share an alibi to split whatever is salvaged between them. At the sound of an approaching helicopter, Izzy forces Terri under the water, drowning him, well before a rescue diver drops into the water in front of her.<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>

[Frank Gaide]

Greetings everyone.

My name is Frank from Boston.

I’m a wee bit older than most of you. Retired Firefighter. Retired Production Designer. And concentrating on storytelling via the screenplay now. I have finished five first drafts — but never a rewrite! Bad me…

Gotta say that my interests swing from action/adventure to psychological/thriller to romantic comedy. I’m hoping to discover a genre that really suits me and my voice and my lampooning sensibility.

I have finished other workshops Hal and Cheryl. They were all extremely informative and exhausting… but rewarding! My wish is to overcome my fear of the rewriting process and turn one of my first drafts into a great read.

Amen!

[Frank Gaide]

“I agree to the terms of this release form”

— signed: Frank Gaide

[Frank Gaide]

1. CHARACTER DEATH TRACK

FRANK’S CHARACTER DEATH TRACK

What I learned doing this assignment… I know there is no right or wrong response. But following this assignment, I was able to better flush out character motivation and goals, and relationships with other characters. It strengthened my focus and left me with some pretty good scenes to elevate my concept and create internal conflict.

“CODZILLA”

THE SURVIVOR: Estranged Daughter (alternative ending – happy)

At the heart of theme in this story, she represents the personal experience within today’s fragmented families torn apart by politics, self-righteousness, selfishness, greed, and power. Hurting the Ones we are supposed to love is a sin, and in this case, punishable by revenge to emphasize that we reap what we sow in this life.

While all other family members fall victim to this sin and the insanity it brings, the estranged daughter reconciles her sin and changes for the better.

Character Death 1: The tour boat owner and his boat. The Innocent 1.

Why: He refuses to run drugs for his family of fishermen. To start the horror.

How: He is killed and set afire in his boat to make it look like an accident.

Character Death 2: Town sheriff.

Why: He made a bad moral decision to turn his back when the tour boat owner was killed. He thought it best to sacrifice one life for the life of his bankrupt town’s financial future… as a drug drop. His death introduces the monster. A tease of something supernatural and vengeful. (A shark as decoy?)

How: Guilt motivates his return to the burial at sea where something destroys his boat and tears his body apart to be found the next morning.

Character Death 3: Hapless Deckhand who works for the family.

Why: To escalate the horror and reveal more of the monster’s identity. The deckhand first introduced the dangerous rules of superstition when he warned the family off their burial at sea. Now the only person who knows the truth becomes a victim of his own prophesy, leaving the family uncertain how to confront the monster. He is also last in the food chain of revenge.

How: Blindsided when he charged into action at the sight of a strange phenomena of swirling water and thick fog. The monster powerboat not only strikes in the ocean but can attack you out of the water. It grabs the deckhand from the family fishing boat and tears him apart to bleed out. And doing so, reveals that it can think and reason and strategize: the deckhand was gripping the communications radar when his arms are torn away, leaving the family with no way to call for help. Thus, isolating them at sea.

Character Death 4: Apparent death of the Sacrificial Lamb Daughter.

Why: To escalate tension after the Deckhand is killed. It creates a high after a low when the family takes time to consider their friend’s gruesome death. Could it be another accident after the Sheriff… a great white (decoy)? Denial of something supernatural? When…

How: BAM!! Everyone is surprised. She is deliberately singled out by the monster powerboat to show its deadly reach at any time and its ability to strategize. It allows the Estranged Daughter to save her from certain death. And gives the guilt ridden, Sacrificial Lamb Daughter cause to tell the Estranged Daughter the truth that her family killed her father. The monster boat is taunting them, playing chess.

Character Death 5: Sacrificial Lamb Daughter.

Why: Because we never expect her to die after she was just saved by the Estranged Daughter. Set up & Payoff: The monster boat has set up fear and the beginning of hysteria within the family nucleus. A chess play, knowing they will eventually turn on each other. Just like they turned on the owner of the tour boat. They will sow what the reaped. And hoping it will be enough payment for their sins to leave them alone…

How: The Insane Older Son sacrifices his sister by throwing her overboard to the monster powerboat… which slowly grinds her body to pulp with its propellers.

Character Death 6: The Insane Older Brother.

Why: To escalate the hysteria within the family nucleus and fortify the monster powerboat’s plan of the family turning on each other just like they turned on the owner of the tour boat. And increase the horror within the family.

How: The Young Moral Son has a hand-to-hand fight with his Older Insane Brother when the older brother attempts to throw the Estranged Daughter overboard next. The Monster Powerboat floats idly by observing him stab his brother to death on the deck and releases a long blast of its air horn taunting approval and warning the family of impending doom.

Character Death 7: The Young Moral Son.

Why: To punish the Lover, Stepbrother Dad and drive a steak through the immoral affair he has been having with the Leader Wife of the dead Tour Boat Owner. To increase the horror within the family unit and prove that the innocent are also victims of another’s crime.

How: As the Estranged Daughter sparks a blowout argument between the Loner, Stepbrother Dad and her Leader Mom, the Young Moral Son backs away from his insane family and dead older brother on deck. Just then the monster powerboat after blasting its air horn smashes into the family boat causing the Young Moral Son to fall backward into the ocean. It proceeds to target him with its bow and drive him deep under the water and drowned.

Character Death 8 and 9: Leader Mom and her Lover Brother-in-law.

Why: Moving up the chain of most important guilty to kill, these two near the top of the list. As the matriarch and patriarch of their family unit, they are forced by the monster powerboat to watch in horror as their family is destroyed from within. Poet justice for the spirit of the murdered tour boat owner. And they get to experience the same demise as he. They are victims of their own character flaw.

How: The last blow to the family boat is the most serious causing a fire. Flames spread from the engine room to the deck and overcome the forecastle where the Leader Mom and Lover Brother-in-law command the boat… and fight. A loud blast of an air horn turns their attention and vitriol to the monster boat. Consumed by their hate and power…. They charge blindly into action and steer what is left of their boat full ahead into the path of the oncoming, monster powerboat. With flames engulfing the forecastle and screams of pain and hate, the two forces collide into a huge explosion.

Character Death 9: Estranged Daughter (alternative ending – sad)

Why: In this alternative ending, everyone in the family dies. The Estranged Daughter is the last and most guilty of all because she abandoned her Dad, the Tour Boat Owner, when he needed her most. She left town after her brother died from a drug overdose and the family fell into disrepair. To the monster powerboat, hers is the greatest sin of all.

How: Their attempt to destroy the monster powerboat fails. The Estranged Daughter is holding on to an ocean buoy for dear life attempting to reconciliate with her dad’s spirit. Her efforts fail. As she slips in and out of consciousness, the monster powerboat inches closer until dragging her defeated body down into the deep ocean.

[Frank Gaide]

FRANK’S PLOT TRACK

What I learned doing this assignment is… Building the plot in this workshop is moves fast. Something I’m not totally comfortable with. But it’s best to KISS. So, I am learning to trust the 4 major Tracks, starting with the Plot Track, and just moving forward. I’m sure to return and expand on all of the racks while building my outline.

“CODZILLA”

ACT ONE — SET UP FOR HORROR:

– Atmosphere of Evil established: A man in his powerboat, CODZILLA, curses unrevealed assailants in an old, Portuguese curse, before they murder him and send his boat to the bottom of Cape Cod Bay.

– Connect with the Characters: Ghost of the dead man comes to his estranged daughter in a dream luring her home to avenge his murder.

– The Characters are warned not to do it: Dead man’s family of fishermen on Cape Cod believe his death and shipwreck was an accident. They mourn his loss and debate a wake & funeral. The estranged daughter keeps her dream a secret believing her Dad was murdered and demands his personal belongings buried at sea as requested in her dream. Their old, hapless Portuguese deckhand warns them off any funeral at sea as it is a bad omen.

– Denial of Horror: The dead man’s wife and lover brother-in-law dismiss any warnings.

– Safety taken away: When the dead man’s personal belongings sink into the bay over his charred powerboat, the boat appears to move.

– Monster: the nature of the beast: The town sheriff/harbormaster is suspiciously murdered at sea while begging for forgiveness. Slight reveal of the monster boat.

ACT TWO – THE POINT OF NO RETURN

– Isolated/Trapped/Abducted: Family go on a boat trip after funeral.

– One of Us killed: Luckless deckhand killed at night when operating the family boat alone. He is mysteriously disappeared when family wake the next morning. Another small reveal of the monster boat.

MIDPOINT – THE MONSTER IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT

– Full pursuit by the Killer: With the arrival of a mysterious summer fog, the monster boat covertly rams the family boat. All jolted! Sacrificial Lamb Daughter falls overboard but saved. She tells her estranged cousin that the family killed her Dad.

– Terrorized: Another covert ram. And another. Swift revealing glimpses of the monster boat to the family. Clues. Until CODZILLA shows its ugly, powerful 3000 hp, 70-foot hull. They find it impossible but recall the curse.

ACT THREE – FULL OUT HORROR

– Fight to the Death: Family boat rides away as fast as it is able. Pushing the engine. Family argues over responsibility for murdering the man. They don’t know what to do with the estranged daughter now that she knows the truth. Kill her too?

– Hysteria: Insane older son tosses his Sacrificial lamb sister overboard in atonement to CODZILLA and punishment for telling her cousin the truth.

– The thrilling escape from Death: Younger moral brother kills his older insane brother causing a raging fire aboard the family boat. CODZILLA rams the family boat again. Younger brother falls overboard and is run over by CODZILLA. The wife of the dead man and her lover fall into the flames. CODZILLA strikes again. The boat explodes.

– Death returns to take one more: The estranged daughter, alone, the only survivor, attempts to remain afloat to a buoy when CODZILLA finds her and quietly waits nearby. She attempts to resolve her sins with the spirit of her Dad.

– Resolution: Finally losing consciousness, CODZILLA drags her away under the sea. Both disappear leaving behind a tranquil Bay.

[Frank Gaide]

FRANK’S CHARACTERS 4 HORROR

What I learned doing this assignment is… I personally favor using a system to create story and outline and find the ‘Universal Character List’ indispensable.

“CODZILLA”

CONCEPT:

When the ghost of a dead man lures his greedy daughter home to scatter his effects at sea, she unwittingly raises the evil spirit of his 70-foot powerboat to slaughter everyone responsible for his murder, including herself.

GROUP: A Family of sinners.

DYING PATTERN: A = One by one, the entire family die.

CHARACTER IDENTITIES IN THE GROUP:

– INNOCENT: <u style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Ghost of the murdered family man seeking revenge through his evil boat.

– REBEL/CARRIER: <u style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Estranged Daughter lured home by the ghost of her murdered Dad promising hidden wealth if she does his bidding for revenge.

– LEADER: <u style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Wife who seduces her brother-in-law to help murder her husband for profit… over greed and jealousy.

– LOVER: Seduced by his sister-in-law, the <u style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Brother who organizes and convinces their family to murder his brother… her husband for wealth.

– OUT OF CONTROL: The <u style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Lover’s insane, oldest Son who has an addiction problem and would not hesitate to rob or kill anyone for money.

– SACRIFICIAL LAMB: The <u style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>guilt-ridden Lover’s Daughter who reveals the planned murder of her uncle to her cousin (estranged daughter). Thrown overboard by her insane brother in atonement for the family’s sin.

– MORAL ONE: The <u style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Loner Son of the Lover who is forced to join the party at sea and hunted by CODZILLA. He eventually confronts the family over their sins and battles his insane older brother to the death before he unfortunately dies.

– RED HERRING: The <u style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Town Sheriff who allows the family to murder the man and sink his boat… one life for the greater good of their bankrupt fishing town.

– COMPLAINER: The <u style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Hapless Deckhand who assisted in the man’s death and wants reward for keeping his mouth shut about the truth.

[Frank Gaide]

CODZILLA

WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT:

Never considered creating a set of parts to create a monster. I usually just brainstorm in a general manner without much specificity. This is a a great tool for future use.

THEIR TERROR:

The demon boat has risen from the dead to kill everyone responsible for its destruction and murder of its owner. And will slaughter them all across Cape Cod Bay until satisfying its revenge.

The demon boat is a ghost and can rise from the ocean, appear and disappear without warning.

The demon boat rules the Cape Cod Bay, and all its victims are cornered on the water where it preys.

The terrible things the demon boat does is to run over victims.

The demon boat inflicts death with its weight and power and shreds the guilty into bloody pieces with its propellers or crushes them death.

No one can escape the demon boat because it is a ghostly resurrection come from the beyond and humanly impossible to destroy.

THEIR MYSTERY:

How can a destroyed boat come back to life after they shipwrecked it, and how can the guilty survive a supernatural threat that cannot be destroyed again.

THEIR FEAR PROVOKING APPEARANCE:

An ironic visual, disturbing, weapon… this demonic CODZILLA is an undestroyable doppelganger of a 70 foot, 3000 horsepower, thrill boat deliberately shipwrecked and reincarnated by the vengeful spirit of its murdered owner into an evil, sinister dark apparition displaying glowing, deadly eyes and a huge open jaw with large, sharp teeth across its bow.

THEIR RULES:

No matter where its victim run, land or sea, this demon boat will find a way to reach you, until its revenge is fulfilled.

THEIR MYTHOLOGY:

CODZILLA and its owner enjoyed a pleasurable and profitable existence on Cape Cod giving tourists a thrilling ride across the bay at speeds, twists and turns up to 40 miles an hour. Until his greedy family of bankrupt fishermen wanted him to run drugs for them. Refusing to relent their threats, the family murdered him and torched the CODZILLA where they sunk to the bottom of the bay.

[Frank Gaide]

CHRISTINE – HORROR CONVENTIONS

WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT:

The “conventions of horror” and the difference between Thriller and Horror: fine line between the two. AND imagine “Smart Horror” when developing concept and story.

EXAMPLE: CHRISTINE

CONCEPT:

A demonic car seduces an unsuspecting nerd to bring her back to life and murders anyone who comes between their relationship.

TERRORIZE THE CHS:

Nerd’s friends and enemies forever frightened that the car cannot be destroyed. It can morph itself back to life after destruction and chase them down forever.

ISOLATION:

Victims are from a small town and carefully isolated by the car when striking: One kid squished/cut-in-half when alone at night: Three other kids are caught after a car chase in the dead at night…and killed: Owner of a Car junk yard crushed to death when alone in his garage: Nerd’s two best friends fight him and car to-the-death in an empty garage.

DEATH:

Cut in half by car: Run down and crushed by car: Choking to death in car: Burned to death in a fireball: Crushed by the seat and steering wheel: Suffocated inside car.

MONSTER/VILLAIN:

Demonic car with an evil soul.

HIGH TENSION:

Life and death friendships. Ticking clock when bullies will revenge the Nerd. Nerd turns as demonic as his car causing impending doom.

DEPARTURE FROM REALITY:

Supernatural car with its own mind and the ability to rebuild itself forever is difficult for characters to believe, until faced with the reality of its horror and are killed… never able to prove its existence.

MORAL STATEMENT:

Love can drive you mad.

MY CONCEPT: CODZILLA

A demonic powerboat revenges its destruction and the death of its owner by rising from the bottom of Cape Cod Bay and slaughtering everyone responsible.

TERRORIZE THE CHS:

Greedy family that murdered one of their own cannot escape his avenging spirit as they are killed-off one by one in the most horrific ways by his raised, 70 foot, 3000 horsepower thrill boat that is supposed to be shipwrecked.

ISOLATION:

After killing all guilty non-family, the boat isolates the family at sea where they’re gathered together to scatter the murdered owner’s ashes and kills them off one by one, alone in the ocean with nowhere to turn.

DEATH:

Sheriff is run over. Crewman is crushed to death under weight of a boat. Brother is run over. Nephew burned. Ex-wife drowned. Niece stabbed. Daughter dragged to the bottom of the sea.

MONSTER:

The ghost of a 70 foot, 3000 horsepower, thrill ride, powerboat named CODZILLA that rises from the bottom of the sea to revenge its owner’s murder and the destruction that his family inflicted upon the boat.

HIGH TENSION:

Ticking clock. Life and death situations. Horrible, graphic deaths in the world of boating.

DEPARTURE FROM REALITY:

Situation where victims cannot explain an evil, supernatural entity, and activity because the apparition can disappear at will and the victims never live to prove it ever existed.

MORAL STATEMENT:

The world is greedy as ever thanks to shrinking supplies and opportunities for all. Remember that you reap what you sow.

[Frank Gaide]

Hello again, Demme,

Hope all’s well and you’re pushing ahead with the lessons!

May I ask you this?

We submitted our early assignments using GMAIL. Okay. Now that I’m onto Module 2 – Lessons 2, 3, 4 etc., instruction after each lesson is to submit our assignments to the “Forum” board. My problem and question is– how the hell am suppose to send my assignments to the forum for review when there is no forum available? lol

For real. Are you and others facing the same problem, or have you found away to the appropriate forum board? If so, please let me in on the secret.

Best–
frankieg

[Frank Gaide]

Hello Deme. Glad to learn we’re in the same boat! Best–

• This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by  Frank Gaide.

[Frank Gaide]

— PS74 for me. And I thought my group was a long time ago. lol. Many of my comrades went on to MC. I chose to wait until discovering more about rewriting. That’s the ticket! Best wishes over the next 10 weeks.

[Frank Gaide]

Hi Diane… just want to thank you for all the thoughtful greetings! I also completed a Pro Series workshop. What class are you affiliates with? It would be a joy to discover we graduated the same one.

[Frank Gaide]

Hi Shannon… Let’s give it go! Perhaps we can swap stories on how best to procrastinate? ; )

[Frank Gaide]

Hi Diane… just want to thank you for all the thoughtful greetings! I also completed a Pro Series workshop. What class are you affiliates with? It would be a joy to discover we graduated the same one.