Frank Livorsi
Forum Replies Created
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Hi Larry,
Sorry this has taken so long.
If I’m looking at this to buy, I’m not sure what I would be buying.
Does Jim have multiple personalities or is he jumping from one reality (universe, time travel, etc) It’s hard to track that. Sci-fi/Fantasy? Which is it?
Does Kim get kidnapped because he is a drug mule? Is this a search and rescue, with Herbie being his mentor? (like Yoda) If so, I’m liking that. He’s got a problem that he caused. Gets help to save the girl.
I think you might be going for too much irony in this query…She hates drugs/He a drug runner. He’s a criminal/he’s an FBI agent.
Log line: I like that.
Title: I like Path. It shows he got to make choices. I don’t like the word Befuddled. I can’t take anyone seriously if they are befuddled. Chosen Path, Broken Path, Path to Nowhere, something like that. But I would definitely change the title. And I feel bad about saying that, because I think you really like that title. Sorry.
I think, you might be on to a good story, but a producer might not see that in the way it’s presented in the letter.
I really hate to be critical of something, but you need to make some changes to this. Quite frankly, you did a better job of writing my query than I did my own.
Frank
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He killed his father, and stole another man’s wife. Should a cop be doing that?
I just completed a script in the style of Film Noir that I would like to submit to you for consideration. FYI…I had one script produced and two others optioned.
Here is the logline.
An off- duty policeman is handed a letter from his deceased mother, by a sister he never knew existed. When he decides to find out the identity of his real father, he uncovers a political scandal from 35 years ago, involving both his parents.
Here’s a brief recap of “Rhapsody In Blue”:
Detective Richie Holiday gets a letter from his unknown birth mother, delivered by a sister he never knew existed. Same mother, different fathers. A simple search for his father turns out to be much more, as bodies start piling up when he gets close to the truth.
As a member of the highway commission, his mother was a party girl, with a lust for good times. His father, it seems, had to be a member of that same commission.
Layer after layer of evidence points to a political scandal from years ago. Evidence was found that can’t be used in court, and Richie determines there’s only one way to bring this group to justice.
His own home life gets complicated as he takes in his homeless sister, and has an affair with his married partner.
Please let me know if you’d be interested in reading, “Rhapsody In Blue.”
Frank Livorsi
847-366-0032
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Hi, I’m Frank and I’ve had one movie produced and two others optioned.
I have a film noir type script, Pelican Brief meets Raymond Chandler.
It’s called Rhapsody In Blue.
A police detective answers his door and is handed a letter from his sister, whom he never knew existed. The letter writer claims to be his birth mother, apologizes for abandoning him and offers clues to his real fathers identity. But cautions that it might be dangerous to look him up.
I would say that you could make this movie in the $5 million range, but I think it would play out better in the $15 million to $30 million range. Chris Pine and Emma Stone would be great in the two biggest roles.
Act one shows us the relationship between Detective Richie Holliday and his married partner, “Jinx” Jensen. The letter from his mother kicks off the movie.
During act two Richie and Jinx grow closer. As they look to identify his father, they uncover a political scandal from 35 years ago. This causes a reaction where several people involve back then, are being killed off today.
The evidence points to the main political heavy and the leader of this Cabal. That man is his father. His father needs to come to justice in the third act.
The finale shows that his father is powerful, conceited and condescending. He thinks he’s covered all his tracks. He has. The only way to bring his father to justice is by “Lead Poisoning!” “You think you could kill your own father? Flesh and blood?” “I don’t remember seeing you at any of my little league games.”
Can I send you the script?
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“He killed his father and stole another man’s wife. Should a cop be doing that?”
I’ve recently polished a script that I would like to submit for your consideration.
Here’s a brief recap:
Detective Rich Holliday gets a letter from his, recently deceased, unknown birth mother, delivered by a sister he never knew existed. Same mother, different fathers. Finding his father turns out to be more than locating his father, as layer after layer of evidence reveals a political scandal from years ago, involving both his parents. Complicating his search, is his love affair with his married partner.
I’ve had one script, “Casino’s Corner” made into a movie. I’ve also had two others, “Streetplayer” and “Party At Pamela’s House” that were optioned, but never made it to production.
Please let me know if you’re interested in reading “Rhapsody In Blue.”
Frank Livorsi
847-366-0032
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Producer for short term, Manager long term. Cooperation is the key for both.
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Components:
Great title. Rhapsody In Blue
Similar to, “The Long Goodbye” ans “Pelican Brief.”
Bankable role. Our protagonist takes a woman from another man and kills his father, and we love him for that.
What I learned.. Get the yes.
Logline:
After being handed a letter from his unknown, deceased mother, by a sister he never knew existed, a police detective seeks to find the identity of his real father. In the process, he uncovers a political scandal from 35 years ago that his parents were both deeply involved in.
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1. “Rhapsody In Blue” is a police drama which I’m writing in the style of Film Noir.
2. Two stories in one. Policeman, who was adopted, gets a post mortem letter from his mother. As he tries to find his real father, who is still alive, he uncovers layer after layer of evidence of his parent’s shady past, including a scandal from 35 years ago. He’s also having an affair with his married partner.
3. First target would be a producer.
4. I learned that marketing and writing go hand in hand.
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Frank Livorsi
9 Scripts
Looking for great marketing skills
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Frank Livorsi I agree
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Hi Larry,
Thanks for the great input. You got what I was going for. I will use your recap because it’s better than mine. I can’t use the logline because he doesn’t learn the identity of his father until page 94 of a 96 page script. The way you format a query is different then the way I’ve been doing. You’ve seen what I’ve been sending out. I’ll try your style. You put in a lot of work on this and I appreciate it. I’ll try to do the same for you. I’ll need a couple of days, though.
Frank