Fred Seo
Forum Replies Created
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Fred’s Scene Ratings
What I learned from this assignment is that the high entertainment value scores often had a twist, or original take on an idea that made the scene interesting in a refreshing way. However, the low scores were all boring because they only conveyed information without any intriguing action/visual sequence. The more I can come up with creative ideas to spice up mundane plot points, the more entertainment value my script will hold.
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Fred Introducing Characters Powerfully
What I learned about this assignment is that characters need to immediately show their core when introduced and intrigue the reader right away.
Current Introductions
Jin – clears dishes/translates Han’s menu/philosophy towards food to guests
Change to his actions at Jesa? Something that sets him apart from Grandpa and rest of the men, his American background gives him something different
Questioning the purpose of tradition, old culture
Fixing arrangement, or how to lift a table, make it more efficient, dad and others don’t know how to squeeze/fit a table through a doorway, he takes charge, uncles are impressed, singles out his way of thinking
Option: separate introduction for Jin, uncles can’t do it, when Jin gets there, he solves the problem
In that case, what does he do with Emma?
Date? Pick up/drop off in front of a crowd, choosing family over her
NEEDS ACTION
Emma – picked up from the airport
Change to wanting in but being left out of the family by Jin, need to highlight her desire/affection but out of place as a foreigner
Have her stand out in a crowd of other Koreans/ couples, families, old people, etc
Interaction at airbnb?
No, too private
Han – entitled entrance as a chef in his own restaurant
Change to him assuming leadership position at Jesa in place of Grandpa
Need to put him on a pedestal before knocking him down
Knows where things goes, how the procession is organized and carried out
GRILLS BBQ, interacts with dog?
Mother – reluctant servant to the in laws, taken advantage of, shows resistance/rebellion in her own ways
Okay to keep
Grandma – show some kind of power/authority in the kitchen, powerless outside it, babies Jin
Grandpa – fading health, yet unquestioned leader of the family, have to raise his status more,
Action: checking blood pressure, squeezing walnuts,
Popping a tiny hole on Jenny’s finger? She winces, says it’s nothing
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Fred’s Character Story Beats
What I learned from this exercise is that thinking about each character’s journey from their own perspective lends them more depth and purpose. The task I have now is intertwining their story lines into a structure that holds greater intrigue.
CHARACTER STORY BEATS
JIN’S OVERALL STORY:
B: Heir to fortune, preserver of tradition, ACTION?
M: Quest to find out truth about family and mother, renounces his loyalty/inheritance, hurt Han
E: Forgives father, returns to both families (father/mother)
JIN’S CHARACTER BEATS — DETAILS
1. Jin attends the Jesa and is brought into the fold of patriarchy. maybe he should question the tradition? (show american side)
2. He ignores his Mother’s pain and pretends not to notice when she finds out about Mistress.
3. Breaks glass plate, calls to Mother for help but sees Han put his hand on her. He hides himself when Mother walks out.
4. Doesn’t tell Emma what’s going on. Believes Han when he says she’s gone to be with her brother.
5. TURNING POINT ACTION (commits to the journey) HOW?
– goes looking for his Mother
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JIN’S CHARACTER BEATS — BROAD STROKES
1. Jin accepts new responsibilities as an adult.
2. He cowers at the idea of infidelity between his parents.
3. DEBATE: Something has to trigger him towards action.
– cleans up house? Finds evidence
4. Decides to go on the journey/quest for tangible goal.
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HAN’S OVERALL STORY:
B: Well respected, new leader of family
M: Attempts to keep a lid on his affair and maintain his reputation
E: Dishonored/disowned by family and now has to work his way back up
HAN’S CHARACTER BEATS — DETAILS
1. Bosses around Jesa to show his authority, in place of Grandpa
2. He is caught having an affair by Mother in the car ride home.
3. He tries to stop Mother from leaving but fails
4. Lies to Jin about Mother’s whereabouts, won’t admit or confess his wrongdoing.
5. Tells he’s gonna be home late, order delivery, hands him money, again? If there’s leftovers at the restaurant he’ll bring that.
HAN’S CHARACTER BEATS — BROAD STROKES
1. Fills in Grandpa’s shoes as leader of the family
2. Weakened status at home, loses out to Mother, does he slap/attack her?
3. Lies to Jin to maintain his image/status.
MOTHER’S OVERALL STORY:
B: Servant, in law, to Han’s family
M: Leaves family to have time by herself, relieve herself from the duties
E: Reconnects with her own family
MOTHER’S CHARACTER BEATS — DETAILS
1. Working her tail off at Jesa, under appreciated
2. Drives home, receives call from Mistress
3. Grabs her stuff and leaves home, tells Jin?
4. Finds her own place, how much explaining does she do?
MOTHER’S CHARACTER BEATS — BROAD STROKES
1. She is taken advantage of by her in laws
2. Decides to call it quits, relieves herself of her duties
3. Goes off to live her own life, happier, but alone (no family)
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EMMA’S OVERALL STORY:
B: Loving girlfriend to Jin, wants to become part of his family
M: Torn between both sides, Mother/Jin vs Han
E: Lets go of abusive relationship, learns that staying would be toxic
EMMA’S CHARACTER BEATS — DETAILS
1. Asks to go to Jesa with Jin, is denied
2. Goes on a date with Jin, feels invalidated with rings
3. Shooed out of his house
4. Wants to know what’s going on but Jin won’t tell her, instead goes to Han and hears his side
5. Tries to stick up for him, Jin reacts angrily
6. Comes to Grandparent’s as a surprise, meets them and she becomes a prime candidate for their new granddaughter in law
7. Has a falling out with Jin where he intentionally hurts her by proving a point, comparing himself to Han.
8. Needs to let go of this relationship and take care of herself.
EMMA’S CHARACTER BEATS — BROAD STROKES
1. Attempts to get closer to Jin’s family, pushed away
2. Pries open curiosity by going around Jin to talk to Han
3. Sticks up for Han, reamed out by Jin
4. Meets Grandparents and is finally accepted, happy
5. Dumped by Jin intentionally to avoid Mother’s fate
6. Comes to terms with situation, looks after her own well being for once instead of trying to please others
GRANDPA’S OVERALL STORY:
B: Sets up his vision for the future, so that his family will be alright after he is gone
M: Plan crumbles, watches his whole life become meaningless
E: Compromises tradition and family by accepting changes and imperfection
GRANDPA’S CHARACTER BEATS — DETAILS
1. Lets Han take over proceedings, a bit reluctantly due to health
2. Introduces Jin to the patriarchy, business and family tradition, he is now next in line, has to maintain old roots
3. Holds onto the old by seeing Emma as a new candidate, even though she is American
4. Supports Han even though Jin continues to challenge him, HOW? Need specific event/action
5. Almost has a heart attack at the news of Han’s illegitimate son.
6. Banishes Han and goes in to full depression.
– debate/epiphany needed here, talk with Jin?
7. Eventually comes out of hiding to continue Jesa, tradition, but with changes
GRANDPA’S CHARACTER BEATS — BROAD STROKES
1. Tries to hold on to position, but can’t
2. Gives leverage to Jin, instead of Han taking it from him
3. Envisions a future without him, but still conservative in his approach with Emma
4. Takes Han’s side instead of Jin’s, with infidelity? news of politician?
5. Defeated at the toddler’s arrival, all his life has becoming meaningless, immense shame and dishonor
6. Let’s go of pressure to maintain perfect family, changes his stubborness
GRANDMA’S OVERALL STORY:
B: Babies Jin
M: Tries to stay neutral during the divide/situation
E: Finds new passion project in Toddler
GRANDMA’S CHARACTER BEATS — DETAILS
1. Feeds Jin
2. Stays on his side
3. But turns out to be helpless at reveal, doesn’t want to anger Grandpa or startle him
4. Meets Toddler and treats him like her own
GRANDMA’S CHARACTER BEATS — BROAD STROKES
1. Grandma represents the ladies in this household
2. Cares more for Jin’s wellbeing than family/tradition, Han, Grandpa, etc
3. But she is too timid to bring forth all this news to Grandpa who is the leader in her mind.
4. Recognizes Jin as an adult finally and looks after new toddler.
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Fred’s Character Profiles
What I learned from this lesson is that the core of each character determines what kind of actions, attitude, or dialogue they choose to portray throughout the story. Having this down by heart and writing it out will also help me figure out points where I am stuck structurally.
Logline: After a Mother suddenly uproots herself amid his Father’s infidelity, the son must reevaluate his loyalty to his privileged family and decide if he wants to remain a part of it or not.
JIN
Role: Jewel of the family, eldest son with big expectations to live up to, also a faithful boyfriend to Emma (they got through long distance)
Core:
Grounded (not arrogant about wealth)
Justice seeking (vengeful)
Can’t lie?
Places too much pressure/responsibility on himself
Afraid of shame/dishonor
Character Subtext Logline: Jin makes it his mission to find out how his mom has been mistreated this whole time and get revenge for her.
Flaw: Thinks he has to carry this burden by himself. Doesn’t tell others or ask for help.
Want: To hurt Han like he hurt Mother.
Need: To know that he is not the same person as his father.
Secret: He cheated on Emma once.
Doesn’t want to admit that he is the same cheating bastard as his father.
What makes this character unique?
American background, has the chance to change the system for once, before the tradition/culture has been stuck in the past
Character Arc: Starts as stand out individual who resists help (could use Emma and American background to expose this), but finally lets go and allows himself to be surrounded by family.
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MOTHER
Core:
Polite
Doesn’t show pain to others
Independent
Role: Daughter in law to Han’s family. The one person Jin needs for everyday things. Her uprooting herself causes him to clean and order takeout.
Life Metaphor/Identity: She never signed up for all of this. (or is this Jin’s idea), in truth she is grateful for everything his grandparents have provided.
Actual life metaphor is don’t ever expect something in return, that way you’ll never be disappointed
Want: To be free. Need: To be part of her own family again.
Character Arc: Goes from serving others to serving her own needs.
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HAN
Core:
Massive pride in himself
Values classy, luxury, wealthy lifestyle
Condescending to those that are inferior to him
Sees himself as the head of the family now that Grandpa is aging
Family man, does what needs to be done in order for the best outcome (maintaining balance/stability)
Role: Natural successor to Grandpa’s business and place at the head of the family. Supposed to be the perfect role model for Jin, good husband, faithful family man.
Flaw: Infidelity, lies
Want: For Jin to look up to him. Need: Allow himself to be seen outside the context/title of a father.
Life metaphor: I have to take care of my family at all costs by any means possible.
Secret: Had an illegitimate son with a Mistress.
Doesn’t want to admit that he screwed up his marriage, that his life is perfect (others envy him for this)
Unique: Chef background? Dynamic, makes him uphold tradition and class/culture, doesn’t cook at home
Have Jin ask him if he can cook at home, Han avoids this because it is beneath him
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EMMA
Core:
Bubbly, radiating personality on others
People pleaser, wants to make those around her happy
Validating, supports people’s decisions and forgives their flaws
Sees the good in people no matter what
Role: Jin’s girlfriend, possible new daughter in law to fill Mother’s shoes(?), direct like for like replacement? Grandparents see her as a target? Or just a possible addition to the family, how dramatic do I want it…
Flaw: Is ready to do anything to make Jin happy, places priority on his happiness/wellbeing over hers
Want: For Jin and his family to accept her and love her Need: Love herself
Unique: American girl in Korea, facing tradition and culture head on directly, wants to face it and assimilate herself
Doesn’t want to admit that she’s an outsider?
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GRANDPA
Core:
Leader, alpha, successful businessman
Integrity, classy, honorable, treat people with respect (not family)
Upholds tradition, places huge importance on ancestors, family line, sons
Sees himself as the head of the family, despite his fading health
Role: Provide what’s best for the family, even after he is gone, but not quite ready to let go of the reins yet. Setting up the future, hopes it remains well and good in other’s hands.
Flaw: Everything that happens with his offsprings is his fault. Thinks he’s directly responsible. Consequence of bad parenting.
Want: Family to be perfect Need: Be okay that it isn’t
Unique: Old generation but not quite stuck up, is trying to adapt to new generation with Jin
Life metaphor: Don’t ever tarnish the family name.
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GRANDMA
Core:
Coddles Jin, her favorite, with love, sees him as a baby still
Food is the way to people’s hearts
Never does a wrongdoing on anyone, kind to mother(?), how to show
Doesn’t want to hear anything slanderous, avoids truth if it hurts
Buddhist, only wishes to remain in a peaceful state of mind
Role: Leader for the ladies, but always subservient to Grandpa and even Han, unhelpful for Jin’s plight, looks past Han’s mistake and ignores it, instead focuses her attention on the new toddler
Flaw: everything is fine when it isn’t
Want: Jin to be a kid still. Never grow up. Need: let go and find a new project, toddler
Unique: Buddist religion
Life metaphor: everything can be cured with food.
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Fred’s Story Beats
What I learned doing this assignment is that entire beats had to be cut out in order to elevate the story/character arc.
ACT 1
– scenes of Jin and Emma? Talking about parent’s marriage?, OLD HABITS, lovey dovey, holding hands,
– Jin and Han at restaurant? Jin being showered with love in front of Grandma’s friends?
– Emma is picked up at the airport by Jin and Han? Visit his dad’s restaurant, meet the other chefs, “boss’s son”, talks about Mother, family Jesa, she’s making the food right now
– Jin’s mom got her the scent/perfume, that’s why they smell so similar, present handed off at the airport
0. Restaurant – Jin’s old world/defining action/habits established through work/family (jesa)
0.25 Mother – old world/treatment established through preparation for Jesa
0.5 Han – status established through restaurant, family (jesa), also should be meeting Mistress?, or bluetooth call as Jin is getting dropped off
0.75 Emma – relationship with Jin should be established, either through airport arrival, or Jin leaving her at airbnb/date for Jesa
1. Jesa – Grandpa must be seen in a position of power, his fading health + old age, Han receiving the keys to the kingdom, Jin being placed next in line
– sort of addressed by family business, but Han’s role should be bigger, they are inseparable, will move as one, like a machine with two gears
– business turns out to be dishonorable more and more? (slowly chip away his faith in family?)
– Grandpa’s vision is to build a lasting dynasty, that foresees the present and the future through two generations, wants Jin to pass onto his own offsprings, except jin will later threaten this idea by saying he renounces his inheritance and not respect the family traditions like Jesa, find flaw in the system/culture
2. Dinner – Patriarchy power dynamic, women are treated as inferiors, Mother in law is even lower
3. Car ride – Bluetooth phone call from Mistress, Mother calls it quits
4. Mother leaving – packing, fighting, photo
5. Photo booth/ring date – Jin can’t focus around Emma, has second doubts about relationship (engagement??/marriage??)
6. House – Jin is embarrassed about state of the house, doesn’t tell her what happened, wants to keep it a secret, cleans up in a rush without her help, doesn’t want to abuse her like his family, kicks her out once Han arrives, sees him as a threat now
7. Hotel buffet – Jin’s 18th birthday?, Female server drops plate, everyone thinks it’s her fault except Jin, grandma babies him? Grandpa flexes power?
– does he show what kind of consequences ppl can have for being dishonorable? Maybe he castigates/banishes a different family member
8. Reunion with Mom at park – explanation, Jin decides he wants to live with mom
– is his decision too quick?
– can the fish bit be with Emma? Date? Who says it
– NEEDS HELP
9. Smash and grab failed – Han waiting for them at the house, scares off Jin’s mother, takes his phone, and sends him to his grandparents
– cliche scene?
– NEEDS HELP
– If Jin stays with his Dad, how is he locked into the journey? What journey? It’s unclear unless he decides to uproot himself
– Gets his own desk at the company?
ACT 2
10. Grandparent’s house – New plan – sees Grandma condemn politician for cheating
11. Emma date – still not ready to show grandparents, why? – because she is white and they won’t understand, use this as an excuse, the real reason is Jin is afraid of Emma becoming his mother
– need to build this issue in earlier, ready then not ready? Second thoughts? Emma says, can’t wait to meet them, Jin says no (makes an excuse), she takes this as oh it’s because I’m white, I’ll never be fully accepted (create her own struggle of being an outsider, stared by older ppl on the streets/ restaurant, doesn’t even have to be hostile, oh like this place must be good if there’s a foreigner, what’s Jin’s reaction going to be?
– dinner, argument over seeing Han, track his phone to collect evidence
– can’t have her know Han’s friends if she just got here, do I give up the idea that this is her first time here? Should I stick to the idea that she’s been living here for a while?
12. Eavesdropping dinner – Jin and Emma watch Han meeting Mistress, Han takes photos, Emma tries to stop him, Han comes out for a phone call, they have to race back home, Emma enters the restaurant to go speak with her
– NEEDS HELP
– too much of a chase scene, a little cheesy, could use complete change later
13. Grandparent’s house – Grounded – Han castigates Jin
14. Next day – Imprisoned – house is locked to keep Jin in
– his anger causes Grandpa distress and spoils his health
– in later drafts, being physically imprisoned is too dramatic, try changing the dynamic where Jin still lingers with the family but slowly starts to break away from it?
– NEEDS HELP
15. Emma appears – awkward interaction with Grandparents, her and Jin have a formal meeting with them, live translation, both parties hinting at marriage/family/in law/ tradition/culture/etc
16. Jin and Emma fight – outside on the lawn, Emma gives him the address to the mistress – defenitely more interesting if Jin wanted to introduce her in the beginning
– what kind of interaction did Emma have with her? “you’re gonna want to meet her, he’s insulted by this very notion
– NEEDS HELP
17. Grandma and Aunts gossip – prepare food and chit chat about Jin’s girlfriend + grandpa, JENNY? Interactions
18. Jin brings Mother to Grandparents – showdown, exposes the truth, family is shocked but don’t come up with a solution, instead back there way into cowardice which sets off Jin
NEEDS ACTION
– OTHER VERSION, HE TELLS THEM WITHOUT MOTHER, THEy ALREADY KNOW, BIGGER SURPRISE
ACT 3
19. Jin inquires Mother about Uncle in the car
20. Jin and Emma discuss Busan, PLAN STH IN ADVANCE THAT HE CANCELS ON HER (like formal/prom)
– NEEDS HELP
21. Jin takes the Train to Busan
22. Reunion with cousins, goes better than expected (maybe I need to build the anticipation more, worry or dread), way early on, like act 1
23. Catching up with them, more in common (did they go to America after Jin? Like following his footsteps, or with the inheritance money? Mother didn’t get any? (another twist to the family drama, she sacrificed for Jin)
– NEEDS HELP
24. Jin meets Uncle and New Aunt
25. Jin feels discomfort around their ways, not the kind of family he is used to
26. Emma and Han get drunk over dinner, share secret off screen? (weak, use this opportunity to present new information)
– NEEDS HELP
27. Jin goes to church with his cousins, feels out of place
28. Uncle reveals reason for the lack of communication between him and Mother
29. Uncle wants Jin to pass on a message for Mother, but he crumples it, unimpressed by his cowardice
30. Jin returns to Emma’s – seems like he’s matured in his understanding (WHAT CAUSES THIS), but takes a huge step backwards with his reveal
– NEEDS HELP
Act 4
31. Jin returns to Mother’s – helps her take out a blackhead
MAYBE earlier it’s Jin and Emma who has this dynamic, Emma wants to but Jin doesn’t, spoils the mood and triggers an argument
– or just playful, like napping on her lap and she scrapes blackhead off his nose, maybe first scene
32. Jin goes to see the mistress – encounters her son, Toddler, dumbstruck, have to make them seem like the enemy, why would he not want to meet them if he’s trying to get to the bottom of this, does Han say she’s just trying to take his money, leech off their wealth?
– needs to have parallel experience with him like he did with uncle, but he can’t tell him to take care of his mother yet because he is so young, maybe we see him treat his mom with care as if he were the adult, jin remarks how mature he is
33. Jin talks with her – single parenting, Han, abandonment
– Why now? Why is the Mistress coming to the scene now, did Han offer financial support before and stopped all of a sudden?
– mistress starts happy and smiling, ends crying, toddler comforts her, impresses Jin
– needs strong push for the climax, needs to be against introducing mistress, ingrained from beginning
– NEEDS HELP
34. Jin returns to Grandparents – everyone is on edge, he accuses Han in front of them
35. Jin brings in Mistress and toddler – exposes Han in front of Grandparents, Han retaliates but Grandma intervenes
36. Grandpa almost feints and kicks Han out, breaks down in shame for raising a dishonorable family
– need to reinforce Grandpa’s health being at risk through the middle too, introduced early but not backed up throughout,
37. Mom’s apartment – Jin reports back on revenge, Mother cries? Feels like the family is growing farther and farther apart ever since she left, she just wanted to get out not dismantle it, she cares for them still
– Jin chose her over family + Emma, she didn’t want that
– COULD USE HELP
38. Jin recognizes his mistake and goes to Grandparents to fix it – redemption, mood is heavy and low
39. Jin goes home to fix up Han and bring him back, needs stronger reconcilliation, how do they bury the hatchet? ACTION (planted early on)
– NEEDS HELP
40. Jin and Han force a Jesa by themselves, Grandma joins and so does Grandpa eventually
41. Grandpa shows some change by bringing in Grandma
– reminder of patriarchy in the middle needed, same with dog
42. Reunion between Mother and Uncle’s family at burial site, peaceful resolution
43. New state of things at grandparents – Mistress and Toddler are part of the family while Han has to work his way back
44. Closure with Emma? No more marriage/relationship, Jin prioritizes his family
– NEEDS HELP
Bit
– Assigning kid to watch garlic when cooking bbq
– Like handing off responsibility
– Can be inclusive or bossy (Jenny vs Toddler)
Toddler can comfort mistress when she is crying, patting her back and asking whats wrong even if he doesnt know whats the problem
Adults say they kept the problem to themselves because this was their responsibility, had to keep Jin from having a troubled childhood, but he feels cheated for having been left out of the truth/secret
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Fred’s Basic Structure Version 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that by having multiple characters have different levels of insight and understanding regarding a situation, I can create interesting dialogue that creates conflict and offers exposition at the same time. This allows to move forward the plot at a faster and more exciting pace.
Main Conflict:
1. Opening:
Jesa, write of passage, Jin enters Grandpa’s patriarchy now that he is an adult. He is placed next in line to uphold the family’s traditions and business.
2. Inciting Incident:
Mother finds out about Father’s affair, blows the truth in front of Jin and leaves.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about:
Will Jin choose corrupt loyalty and protect the family reputation, or seek justice for his Mother.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1:
Jin moves out to side with Mother.
5. Mid-Point:
Jin confesses to the female relatives for help, finds out they have known all along but covered it in order to maintain Jin’s innocence and Grandpa’s vision.
Emma also tells him that he has a brother?
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2:
Jin turns to his Mother’s relatives, but finds out that his Uncle is just another coward who abandoned his sister in order to protect his family. (maybe it’s because she eloped through cheating?, nah too extreme, doesn’t make sense, they need to have been separated through grandma’s death)
7. Crisis:
Mistress asks Jin for help in order to support her child, Jin’s half brother. Jin is reluctant because the son represents an alternative option for Grandpa’s family business.
8. Climax:
Jin exposes Han’s true nature in front of Grandpa by bringing the Mistress and her child to his home.
9. Resolution:
Grandpa almost has a heart attack and collapses. He has no choice but to banish Han for his shameful action.
10. Epiphany:
Jin reveals to his Mother what he has done. She explains that she never asked for revenge. In fact it was her who started this toxic relationship when she cheated on her former lover to marry Han.
11. 2nd Climax:
Jin brings Han to the Jesa in front of all the relatives and makes him atone. Jin leads the Jesa without Grandpa who hides in his room. Eventually he comes out and implements changes: including the women in the ceremony.
12. Resolution:
The mistress and her child are part of the family now. Jin reconnects Mother to Uncle at Grandma’s grave. He finds closure in belonging to two imperfect families.
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Fred’s Logline and One Page
What I learned doing this assignment is that it is much easier to see the overall flow and structure of my story on a one page than it is through an entire outline/beat sheet/script. I was able to make structural modifications to clear up any confusion in logic during this exercise.
Title: Burden of None
Logline:
After his Mother reveals his Father’s ongoing infidelity and uproots herself, the son must reevaluate his loyalty to his privileged family and decide if he wants to remain a part of it or not.
Onepage:
On the night of a Korean family ritual (Jesa) JIN, 18, is taken on a rite of passage to celebrate his entrance into adulthood. He becomes a member of the patriarchal family business and one of the main heirs to his Grandfather’s inheritance.
That same night Jin’s Mother, 42, picks up a phone call intended for Jin’s Father, HAN, 44, and learns that her husband has been having yet another affair with a Mistress. She decides to move out and tell Jin about Han’s true identity.
Jin struggles to cope with the fact, but after some processing he decides to follow his Mother’s footsteps and leave his father’s home. – Could change
He then concocts a plan to seek justice for his mother and expose his father’s true colors. When he confesses this truth to his female relatives, expecting heavy disapproval, he is shocked to find out that they have been aware this whole time yet have been keeping Han’s infidelity from Jin and his Grandpa in order to protect the image of a perfect family.
Jin decides to cut ties with all of them for sticking up for Han simply because he is kin and banishing his mother for being an in law. He attempts to form a new relationship with his long estranged Mother’s side of the family, hoping to find her a new support system.
When he goes on a trip to rebuild that severed connection, Jin finds out that his Uncle has also been a coward who has abandoned his Mother in order to look after his own family. He decides to forgo the opportunity to bring them back together.
Jin eventually turns to the Mistress and meets her 7 year old son, his half brother. At first he sees him as a threat to his legacy and place within the family hierarchy, but upon recognizing a similar abandonment to that of his mother, he decides to bring them into the fold and introduce them to his Grandfather. This triggers immense shame for Grandpa that he almost has a heart attack on the spot. He has no choice but to banish Han.
Jin reports back to his Mother on his latest travails, only to find out that she never asked for any of this revenge. She reveals that it was her who cheated on her former lover to marry Han in the first place and have Jin. Now she asks him to forgive her for keeping the truth from him.
After recognizing how much damage and pain he has caused, Jin attempts to bury the hatchet with Han and restore the broken family back to what it was before, only with some progressive modifications. He does this by bringing Han to the Jesa and cooking together in front of all the women to watch. When the procession starts Grandpa makes an unheard of call: to include the ladies in the ceremony too.
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Fred’s Chronological Edit
What I learned doing this assignment is that after numerous revisions and edits the overall quality of the script still feels like 20% or even 15%. I will still need to work on many future drafts to bring this up to a 100% quality script that I can be satisfied with.
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Fred’s Solved Scene Problems
What I learned doing this assignment is that each scene can be tweaked in different areas to create more conflict/intrigue/purpose/etc. I will be able to use this technique time and time again later on in the revision process.
Notes for script Ending
Father is not forgiven by Jin’s grandparents but he comes to the ritual hand in hand with Jin
goes to the kitchen and starts working on the food with the women
Becoming financially independent of father can be an obstacle
Funeral scene:
Good location for family dynamic
seeing his cousin for the first time in years
Mother is in pain and everyone around her is grieving with her
Dad is rendered useless because he doesn’t know anyone and cant help out
Takes son on a distraction adventure to guard him from reality but mom is annoyed that he decided to go out for fun while she’s been dealing with arrangementsReasons for infidelity
needs some validation
Father has sufficient argument to balance out the discussionConsequences
protagonist should have a lot to lose in the beginning so that throughout the story he takes losses and pain
No tension if he isn’t suffering at allTwist
jin feels for the illegitimate son because he has watched his mom be abandoned by all her family members
Mistress started out as an enemy but jin wants to help her nowBit
Assigning kid to watch garlic when cooking bbq
Like handing off responsibility
Can be inclusive or bossyToddler can comfort mistress when she is crying, patting her back and asking whats wrong even if he doesnt know whats the problem
Adults say they kept the problem to themselves because this was their responsibility, had to keep Jin from having a troubled childhood, but he feels cheated for having been left out of the truth/secret
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Fred’s Solved Character Problems
What I learned from this assignment is that the protagonist needs to have a stronger through line/arc in order to have a meaningful transformation. I hadn’t exhibited the old ways enough in the earlier drafts, so I incorporated that in the latest edits.
A. WEAK PROTAGONIST OR ANTAGONIST
Protagonist:
All of Jin’s upbringing, upper class lifestyle stems from Grandpa’s money, direct lineage through Father
Has to be emphasized from the start
His whole life has been handed down from an immoral bloodline
Does Jin explain this to his cousin?
Opposition needs to be stronger
What does family mean to Jin, what kind of forces does it harbor
How does it make life for him difficult
Everywhere he goes he has to uphold the family name
Relatives introduce him to their friends, the eldest son, how his grandparents adore him, how he has so much potential, how fortunate he is to have someone as successful as his grandpa
hotel/buffet scene
Vip room, labeled “boss’s grandson”
Dilemma
Bring shame to the family name vs Live with it knowing they are dishonorable
Live with Emma with secret vs break up with her by telling her the truth
Meet his bastard brother and risk losing his place vs not acknowledge him like Han
Antagonist:
Make them a big expression of the protagonist’s fear, wound, or main issue in life.
His belief system in love/relationship hasn’t been established in the beginning
Does he believe in eternal love? That emma is the one? That he can remain loyal to her
Does Han explain to Emma how he met Jin’s mother? “Love story”
What is the best way to deliver backstory/exposition
Through Emma?
Dinner with parents?
Wound
That he is the same as his father, unfaithful
Epiphany must destroy this idea: talk with Mother? Mistress? Emma?
Jin is not his father
HOW?
How does Han force Jin into difficult decisions?
Adds hysteria to his relationship with Emma, breaks up with her
“I can see where he gets his charm from”
Forces him to cut off relatives, but consequences?
Living with mom, reaction to new lifestyle? Depraved?
B. PROTAGONIST TOO GOOD OR ANTAGONIST TOO BAD
Moral Compass
Why does he think he is in the right, doing the good deed by keeping this a secret
To maintain the balance of his family, provide a better future for Jin, more opportunities, has to express this to Emma
That’s why he sent him to school in America, money, better education, if not he would have never met Emma
Make Grandpa proud, hold a positive relationship with son
Upholds tradition of the family, is praised by those around him
Chef dynamic?
Introduces his son to customers,
They bestow him with compliments, how good looking he is
He got the good genes passed down
C. WEAK CHARACTER INTROS
For your lead character introduction scenes, the most important thing is to create a scene situation that has this lead character stand out.
Ask this: “What scene situation will introduce something unique and surprising about this character?”
Either the scene challenges them in a big way or it shows off something important about them. Whatever you do, make this THEIR scene!
Also, check the intro to make sure it includes the following:
– Have them living in the Old Ways.
yes
– Put the character in action.
Not enough
Rearranging plates, holding his cousin’s hand, like a good older brother, teaching her the family tradition, passing down heritage
She is messing up the order, picking up things and dropping them
Tell her who their great grandparents are
– Give them interesting dialogue.
Not enough
– Challenge them in some way.
Cousin asks if this is all necessary?
Can’t they just eat the food?
– Consider creating distress to cause us to feel empathy.
Han or Grandpa tells her to go to the kitchen
He stands up for her? Or tries to soothe her
– Their reaction gives us an insight into who they are.
Is unlike the rest of the family
But not yet quite aware of the Mother’s experience
Not completely oblivious but has potential to see new insights
D. CHARACTERS NOT IN ACTION
If you have a lot of talking heads scenes (two characters just talking to each other), then any of those scenes are an opportunity to build in action.
If you have a lot of talking heads scenes (two characters just talking to each other), then any of those scenes are an opportunity to build in action.
Ask this: What is the meaning of their dialogue? Knowing the meaning, how can it be delivered through action? If they feel like failures, have them make a physical mistake. If the angry, have them break something. If they hate something, have them attack it. You’ll be surprised how often the meaning can be turned into action.
BTW, there is a difference between busy work — like walking or taking sips of coffee — versus meaningful action. If possible, use action that delivers the deeper meaning.
Mother wraps packages tightly, bangs the tray or plate down loudly, swivels around as soon as she can, looks distressed, wears a mask, flutters her eyes when someone calls her
Throws her mask off in the car
Action while talking with Mother?
Internal struggle
Rubbing his ring? Taking it off, putting it in her pocket
Maybe in the opening, Jin is playing boardgames with cousins? Called to work and do the heavy lifting
Mother says she has a little cold/allergies, relatives tell her to rest but she insists
Aunts gossiping
Tells her to stop frying because she can’t hear
Grandma tells her to not let the batter sit too long
Or something is gonna burn, because they were distracted
Jin storming out, leaving family behind
?
Not Jabchae
Breaking gate/door?
Oak chairs?
Portraits/photos?
Jenny, cousin, should be constantly distracting adults by seeking attention, she draws on the ground, asks for her seat cushion to be sewed, brings a sewing box, comes for a hug, sits on mom’s lap with her feet swinging up, plays by herself with high energy, connect 4, “building a fire against the yellow pieces, they get burnt”
Metaphor? symbolism?
E. PROTAGONIST JOURNEY NOT STRONG
The protagonist is the character we go on the journey with and it is important that their journey is engaging.
Consider these thoughts:
They start with Old Ways and end up with New Ways.
Needs to think father’s family is foolproof
They provide everything, they are correct
Upholds integrity
Later understands that they are flawed, and so is he, but it’s okay (because Mom/Emma/Mistress teaches him so?)
They are forced to confront a major fear or wound.
That his parents marriage is a lie
That he and Emma might not have that perfect love story ending
That he is as unfaithful as his dad
Their Old Ways are constantly challenged.
Belief system that his family is perfect is constantly punctured
Emma sides with Han, can’t agree with her
Mother was the lucky one, didn’t come from money, turns out she graduated top of her class, had many suitors, maybe she ended up cheating on someone to meet Han, can Jin forgive her for that?
Their journey is a real obstacle course.
Jumps through multiple hoops
Make sure you have a clear goal for the journey.
Seek revenge for Mother
The Antagonist makes their life Hell!
Is indestructible
Everyone around Han supports him and puts him on a pedestal
Takes away his phone and freedom
Turns Emma against him
Makes Jin confront his biggest nightmare, that he cheated on her
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Fred’s Solved Structural Problems:
What I learned from this assignment is that some of my Protagonist’s actions seem to fall short or feel weak because the risk and pressure involved hasn’t been adequately established yet.
Opening/Old Ways: Is this an engaging opening scene that lures us into the story? Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode? Do the “Old Ways” show up in their behavior and dialogue?
Engaging? Sure
Pre-transformation mode? Not enough
Jin needs to be handed the reigns to his family, along with Han, Grandpa needs to be exercising his power while his health wanes little by little
Old Ways show up in their behavior and dialogue? Not enough
Jin needs to show his loyalty and affinity for Father’s side of the family
Family is very proud of their accomplishments, grandpa’s wish is that they continue to live with integrity, honesty,
Grandma gives Jin extra abalone, but none to the girl cousin, says she doesn’t need any, treats Jin like a baby while talking about him becoming a man
Show that he is part of the patriarchy, next in line to power
Teaches his little cousin but tells him to shoo later
Chews her out when she feeds the dog?
Maybe also show the lovey-dovey side of him with Emma???
Disrespectful or ignorant towards mom? Not helping her out with the blackhead?
Inciting Incident: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey?
The call from the mistress pushes Mother off the tipping point, causing her to leave the family and let Jin know who his father really is
Turning Point: How is this Turning Point a twist that locks us into the journey with “no going back?”
Jin decides he can’t be part of a family where his father is the head leader, decides to leave his home and go with Mom
Act 2:
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point?
He tries to sneak out with his belongings but Han catches him in the act. Threatens Mother and takes Jin to his grandparent’s, taking his phone too.
Jin wants to get revenge for his mom, expose Han for who he is
Plan in action: How does the protagonist take action on that plan?
Using Emma to get to him, her phone, her friendliness?
When that backfires, he brings Mother to confess
Midpoint Turning Point: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey?
The relatives can’t condemn Han, he is blood
Instead they choose to kick out Mother
Jin is disgusted by their character
Act 3:
React/Rethink: What is revealed to the protagonist from the Midpoint? How do they react or rethink things?
Jin thinks he can’t look to his family to solve this problem, has to look further outside, Mother’s relatives.
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict?
Get in touch with Uncle and cousins
Turning Point: The lowest of the low. How has this Turning Point brought the character to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way? This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way.
Uncle is in no position to help them
He has no one else to turn to
Ruins his relationship with Emma too
Act 4:
Dilemma: What emotional dilemma requires the protagonist to choose between two alternatives, losing something with either choice?
Bring in the Mistress, cause shame to the whole family
Or maybe even admit to his shortcomings and how he is the same as his dad?
Climax/Ultimate @xpression Of The Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a “fight to the death,” either literally or symbolically?
Almost causes Grandpa a heart attack
Family relationship destroyed
Resolution: How does this resolution represent the “New Ways” and bring this story to a fitting conclusion?
Jin understands the sacrifice you have to make for a family, he overlooks the damaged relationship with Han and restores his Grandparent’s livelihood
New Ways: What are the New Ways and do they clearly show up in your lead character’s Act 4 behavior and dialogue?
He is no longer thinking about himself, thinks big picture
Prioritizes family over love or relationship with Emma
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Fred’s Filled in Missing Scenes
What I learned from this assignment is that a lot of the payoffs aren’t as powerful yet because the setups haven’t been fully developed in the beginning. Revisions is needed in the earlier acts.
I also added some scenes to clarify plot points here and there.
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Fred’s Act 4 Resolution
What I learned doing this assignment is that the resolution needs a clear transition from the climax in order to feel natural. I still need to achieve this in later drafts.
New Way involves Jin accepting both sides of his family
Mother restores relationship with uncle
How does Jin achieve that?
Forgives father, not out of pity
But to restore balance to his grandparents
Mistress wins financial support from Han?
How does she achieve this, visually?
What about Emma? Closure?
Visually:
Mom visits grave
Han cooks with the ladies
Grandpa lets the dog off its leash
Before he used to yell at it
Only way the dog made him proud was by barking and being a guard dog
Now he smiles and licks his hand as he pets him, rolls on his stomach, nudges with his paw for more
GENRE AND THEME
?
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Fred’s Act 4 Climax
What I learned doing this assignment is that my climax doesn’t quite feel like the ultimate expression of the conflict. It will require some more thinking in later drafts to deliver the strong final punch.
EXT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – DAY
The house gate clicks open and a slow set of steps echo out from the stairwell below. The house dog wags its tail and awaits the visitor at the top of the stairs.
A hand pats the top of its head.
Grandma rushes out of the door and takes up Jin’s hand.
GRANDMA
We were all so worried because you hadn’t been back.
INT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS
From inside, Han and Grandpa stand and wait for Jin to enter.
HAN
He must have come by himself.
GRANDPA
Mhm.
The door opens and Jin looks up at the two looming men.
JIN
Hello.
GRANDPA
It’s good to have you back.
HAN
Come in.
Grandpa and Han wait for a hug or a handshake, but Jin moves past them towards the lounge and sits down in one of the oak chairs facing the window.
The adults follow suit. No one speaks up first.
Grandma brings a tray with cups of tea and sets them down on the glass table.
JIN
Thank you, grandma.
GRANDMA
Anything, Jin. Do you want some orange juice? There’s also yogurt, or coffee?
JIN
I’m fine Grandma. Besides I can’t stand coffee. Can’t even be in the same room if I smell it.
Grandma sits down on the floor against the chair.
GRANDPA
Why are you sitting down there like that. Sit up on the seat.
GRANDMA
No, no. This is more comfortable for me. It’s the only way I’ve known how since forever.
GRANDPA
Alright. Have it your way.
HAN
What have you been up to lately?
JIN
Been visiting some relatives.
HAN
Relatives?
JIN
Yes.
HAN
Where do you have relatives.
JIN
They were easier to find than I thought.
HAN
Are you talking about your mom’s?
JIN
I thought my whole life I only belonged to one family. Turns out there are those you never even asked for.
GRANDPA
Jin, there are only families you are born into.
JIN
That’s what I thought too, grandpa.
(re: Han)
But I recently found I had a brother.
GRANDPA
Brother? You don’t have siblings.
JIN
What’s the word… What do you call it when you have the same dad but different mothers.
GRANDMA
Are you talking about a half brother?
JIN
Yes, that’s it. That’s exactly it.
GRANDPA
Now, why would you have a half brother, Jin.
JIN
Because dad had a child with the woman he was having an affair with.
Beat.
GRANDPA
(re: Han)
What does he mean by that.
Jin and Han lock stares.
GRANDMA
Han, is that true?
HAN
Where did you hear that from.
JIN
Does it matter?
HAN
His mother must have been up to no good.
JIN
Are you serious? How are you that irresponsible?
HAN
What did you just say?
GRANDMA
Jin! That’s your father!
JIN
If I were him. You wouldn’t even acknowledge me. Just ignore the fact I ever existed. You call lying a means to take care of your family?
HAN
Let’s speak outside.
JIN
(standing up)
No, you stay right there.
GRANDMA
Hon, where are you going?
EXT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS
Jin dashes out of the house and patters down the steps. The gate clicks open and he comes running back up. He stops at the top and beckons down below for someone to follow.
The dog barks at the figure below.
Jin goes back down and grabs the Toddler’s hand and leads him and Mistress up the steps. Jin guides the Toddler’s hand to the dog so that it stops barking and starts licking instead.
INT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS
Grandpa, Grandma, and Han are standing at the windowsill watching.
GRANDMA
Who is that?
Han launches out of the house to stop the advancing party.
EXT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – DAY
HAN
You have no business being here. Leave, now.
MISTRESS
Your parents ought to know what kind of son they’ve raised.
HAN
Did you not hear me?
MISTRESS
What makes you think I’m gonna stay silent about this?
HAN
I’m warning you, I swear-
GRANDMA
Hey!
They all turn around.
GRANDMA
(toddler)
Have you eaten, young one?
Toddler shakes his head.
INT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS
Grandpa half collapses in his chair, out of breath. He exhales deeply trying to control his blood pressure.
– kid eating bread/food with Grandma
– Jin and Mistress talking to grandpa
– Han waiting outside
– grandpa stands and says nothing, tells Han to hit the road
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Fred’s Act 4 First Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that a strong dilemma will be building up as early as the midpoint. It should be a decision the protagonist makes between the lesser of two evils. Both are unfavorable outcomes but he is forced to choose one.
3rd Act Turning Point: Jin confesses to Emma that he is the same cheating bastard his father is. He has failed to reconnect his mother’s family.
Are the relationships too poor to begin with? Not enough loss?
Do they need to start more positively?
Dilemma:
Jin wanted to win support for his mother, but has failed
Now he has to destroy the relationship between his father and his relatives in order to enact revenge
It’s him vs the whole family, didn’t want to hurt his aunt or grandparents too, but now has to
Reaction:
Sticker photos? Ones of Emma, aunt, cousin, behind the new one with the cousins
He has severed his last remaining connection, besides Mom, but maybe she should
remain out of the frame?
Or now it’s just him and his mom
They have a quiet dinner with little food
Vengeful?
Storming out of Emma’s room, he finds a way to contact the mistress?
OR
He finds out about the illegitimate child at 3 TP
And his reaction is shock, remorse, pity, etc
Protagonist faces their dilemma:
Jin meets with the mistress and her son?
Does he have to meet with dad first?
Or gets the number from Emma?
Goes to slam on the apartment door, wakes up the mistress who recognizes him, and a frightened little boy who looks like him walks out
He is ashamed and shocked at the same time
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Fred’s Completed Act 3
What I learned from this assignment is that I will eventually need to show my message through actions and scenes later in the rewrite, not just talk. Right now there aren’t enough visual cues to admit change, most of the information is cast through speech.
INT. EMMA’S DORM ROOM – NIGHT
Emma opens the door to find a fatigued Jin leaning against the frame.
EMMA
Hey!
JIN
Hey babe.
Jin kisses Emma and passes her to throw his stuff on the ground.
EMMA
How was your trip?
JIN
Good, good.
EMMA
Uhm, do you want to take off your jacket or change before-
He collapses straight on the bed. She comes over to sit down next to him.
EMMA
Never mind. Tired?
JIN
Yeah. These train rides really knock you out. Thanks for letting me crash I did not have it in me to make it all the way home.
EMMA
Uhm, I would have preferred, “I had to come see you right away, I missed you so much,” but I’ll take it.
JIN
Aren’t we a little past those over the top romantic gestures.
EMMA
I don’t think there’s ever a time limit on that. Not unless all the romance is dead.
JIN
Well, we’re not there yet.
EMMA
Tell me about your trip, what was it like meeting your cousins.
JIN
Oh. They’re awesome. Turns out we have a lot in common. Like they also went to school in the states. They like sports, have a dog, go to church, which is a little different but whatever.
EMMA
That’s great!
JIN
Yeah…
EMMA
What is it?
JIN
It’s just that they didn’t really feel like my family. Like some things just felt a little off.
EMMA
I mean you guys have been separated for a while. Of course it’s gonna be like that.
JIN
Yeah but we’re related, so I thought things would just click like they do with my dad’s side.
EMMA
It doesn’t have to happen all of a sudden. You’ll build a relationship with them.
JIN
Right. Actually, there was one other thing I thought about on the train ride over.
EMMA
What’s that.
JIN
As much as I resent my dad for what he did and my relatives for not doing anything about it. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the memories we forged all these years. Like things with them have always come easy and felt natural. Maybe I have to separate some of this stuff.
EMMA
Right, like compartmentalizing your thoughts when you’re studying or playing sports. You can’t focus on everything at once.
JIN
Mhm, I’m not sure if that’s exactly it, but sure.
EMMA
In a way. That’s what your dad had to do.
JIN
How so.
EMMA
He was becoming unhappy with his marriage but he wanted to keep things stable for you. So he looked elsewhere. Not to disrupt the balance of the family.
JIN
Except he shattered it into pieces years later.
EMMA
I’m not saying the end result was validated. But at least the process was…
JIN
Selfish?
EMMA
I was going to say admirable.
JIN
Let’s stop talking about this. Clearly you are bias and leaning towards his side.
EMMA
No, that’s not fair. I’m just saying you have to hear both sides of the story.
JIN
And how would you know?
EMMA
(beat)
I’ve been… Doing a little research.
JIN
What?
EMMA
Well, you wouldn’t meet or hear what your dad had to say, so I thought it would be best that I relay the information to you.
JIN
That’s not your fucking call, Emma.
EMMA
Whoa, and it’s yours?
JIN
This has to do with my family, my parents, and my relatives.
EMMA
Why won’t you let me be a part of it?
JIN
Because I don’t want you to get tangled up in the shit show mess that I’m a part of.
EMMA
Jin, that stuff doesn’t matter. You think I can’t see past that?
JIN
You have no idea what it’s like. Don’t ever see my dad again.
EMMA
He’s just trying to win your approval.
JIN
He’s using you to get to me. So don’t help him out.
EMMA
Don’t you want things to go back to the way they were?
JIN
No. I wanna get as far away from him as possible. Because every time I see him –
(beat)
EMMA
Jin, you’re nothing like your dad. I swear.
JIN
(shakes his head)
You don’t know that.
EMMA
Yes I do.
EMMA
You think I can’t tell the difference? You have a good heart.
JIN
Don’t.
EMMA
I know because I see how you take care of your mom.
JIN
Seriously, please.
EMMA
And I know because of the way you love me.
JIN
STOP!
EMMA
What?
JIN
BECAUSE EMMA. I cheated on you. Just like he did.
Beat.
EMMA
Now why would you make up something like that.
JIN
Fall semester. You wouldn’t accept the fact that I wanted to break up. Not over the phone through long distance. So I hooked up with a girl in order to have something to point to as to why things weren’t working. But eventually you took the hint without me having to tell you.
EMMA
But… that was because we were practically broken up.
JIN
Except we weren’t. Not yet.
EMMA
Jin, all that matters is that you’re back in my life now.
JIN
No. I know for a fact that someday I’m gonna pull the same shit he did. Because I already have.
EMMA
Jin, stop.
JIN
Didn’t you hear what I said? I CHEATED ON YOU. Had a one night stand with a Chinese girl I met at a bar.
EMMA
Don’t do this.
JIN
That’s the kind of fucking men you’re dealing with Emma.
EMMA
Stop, please.
JIN
So get the fuck away from us. For God’s sake.
EMMA
Jin…
Emma tries to hold Jin but Jin brakes her clasp and charges out of her room. She cries in despair in his wake.
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Fred’s Act 3 Turning Point
What I learned doing this assignment is that the Protagonist has to face their lowest low using some of the New Ways.
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Beginning: Jin doesn’t know how to fit in with this family’s culture.
Middle: Jin asks for his uncle’s help. He pities her but can’t offer an exact form of revenge. Jin fails in his attempt to find new allies.
– orders in Mcdonalds for dinner instead of making it at home
End: Come back to Seoul disappointed, having failed in his mission. He goes to see Emma.
INT. DATE WITH EMMA – NIGHT
Beginning: Jin explains how exciting it was to have sisters he never had, but he realized they didn’t feel like family. The ones he has known since he was a kid, those are his family. Can’t forget the memories he’s forged. He has to separate that from his father.
Middle: Emma supports this theory and recommends that he compartmentalize his feelings. She tries to reason how his father had to do the same. Ends up revealing the big secret.
End: Jin explodes and condemns her for taking his side and keeping this from him. Points her as a contributing factor to the problem/situation. Breaks up with her by intentionally trying to hurt her with the truth.
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Fred’s Act 3 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that as tension is rising and the stakes become higher, the protagonist must face stronger consequences and lose more than he did in act 2.
EXT. SEOUL STATION – DAY
Beginning: Jin meets his two cousins at the station, they take the bus? Or car, which surprises him +
Middle: They talk at a cafe and find many things in common, such as going to school in America, they bond over games/escape room and invite him over to dinner to play with the dog and meet his uncle/aunt.
End: Uncle and aunt welcome him, are happy to hear about his mom. They invite him to spend the night. But Jin starts to feel out of place in this new family of his.
INT. DAD’S RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Beginning: Emma meets with Han and his friends for drinks. They are joking around and having a good time.
Middle: Han confesses he has not been the best father for Jin. Admits on his shortcomings.
End: Emma reveals that he knows about his secret from the mistress? Comforts Han by saying that she will keep it from Jin, they form an alliance?
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Beginning: Jin doesn’t know how to fit in with this family’s culture.
Middle: Jin asks for his uncle’s help. He pities her but can’t offer an exact form of revenge. Jin fails in his attempt to find new allies.
End: Come back to Seoul disappointed, having failed in his mission. He goes to see Jin.
INT. DATE WITH EMMA – NIGHT
Beginning: Jin explains how exciting it was to have sisters he never had, but he realized they didn’t feel like family. The ones he has known since he was a kid, those are his family. Can’t forget the memories he’s forged. He has to separate that from his father.
Middle: Emma supports this theory and recommends that he compartmentalize his feelings. She tries to reason how his father had to do the same. Ends up revealing the big secret.
End: Jin explodes and condemns her for taking his side and keeping this from him. Points her as a contributing factor to the problem/situation. Breaks up with her by intentionally trying to hurt her with the truth.
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Fred’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is that the Matrix reaction scene doesn’t have any flashy dialogue but it gets the point across. Neo was a bit of a bystander but now he has made a choice to finally take action that proves he is the one.
Jin realizes he can’t rely on his relatives to help him, they will protect Han who is family
Who will protect Mother, her friends? Her family? Cousins and uncles he hasn’t seen in ages?
Do they have bad blood between them that makes it hard to reach out, like the will and money that was distributed with the death of their father, how they reacted when their mother died through cancer, lawsuit against stepmother
Jin has to become more independent and cut throat, goes for the incriminating evidence which is the mistress
Emma, will she be an ally the whole time or a foe, supporting his mom or dad? How do I incorporate the aspect of cheating on her and Jin resembling Han?
Reaction/Rethink: In the car Jin asks Mother what her life would have been like if she didn’t marry his father young. She probably would have started work after graduating top of her class and probably would’ve wanted to date more before settling down. But then she wouldn’t have had Jin so she has no regrets. The only thing she regrets is that when she was in America with Jin her mother died and she couldn’t attend the funeral. Her brothers were so disgusted that they told her not to bother coming to their father’s funeral when he died years later too. Since then they have been completely cut off. That and the problem of money and the will, lawsuit with stepmom, etc. She mentions that Jin’s uncles has daughters his age, cousins that he’s never met before. She always dreamed of having a daughter but never had the chance too. Wishes she could meet them. They also live in Busan which is far away. This propels Jin on his next journey.
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Fred has completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that my External journey could have to do something with Jin and Emma getting married. It goes in direct conflict with the internal journey of handling the impending divorce of his parents. There is also the added pressure of his grandparents, their cultural expectations, and the difference between dating and marriage.
TP 2:
Placeholder:
Grandma and the aunts talking about Jin’s girlfriend, preparing food for Jaesa.
Jin appears at the gate and grandma sees another figure at the intercom, thinks it’s emma.
They are all surprised to see Jin’s Mother. Confused why she’s late and tries to put her to work right away.
Jin halts everything to break the news.
Reaction.
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Fred’s Act 2 TP – Midpoint
What I learned from this assignment is that if I get stuck writing a scene I can just put in a placeholder and write the next scene I can. Later I’ll come back and rewrite the filler scene.
Placeholder: Emma talks with either the mistress or Han.
Next day: Emma comes to his grandparents and rings the bell. Grandmother first forbid him from leaving the house, Jin lashed out at her. Now Jin has to introduce Grandmother to Emma. She lets them go out to talk.
INT. UNIVERSITY CAMPUS WALKWAY – DAY
Placeholder: Emma explains she deleted the photos for Jin’s good. Explains her rationale. Jin decides on a new plan: get his mom to confess. Uses her phone and tells her to come pick him up, tells Emma to leave.
INT. MOM’S CAR – DAY
Jin gets in touch with Mom so that she can come visit early before Jae-sa.
Beginning: Jin says he saw Han with his mistress.
Middle: Explains he had photos but he lost them. Needs her to tell the relatives what happened.
End: Mother decides to go through with it.
INT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – DAY
Beginning: things are backed up because the daughter in law isn’t there.
Middle: Jin and his Mother arrive but she is lambasted for being late.
End: Jin asks for their attention and the Mother talks. But they already know.
TP 2 – Men have been forcing them to look the other way. Jin is disgusted and he leaves with his mother, vying to sever all connections with them.
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Fred’s Act 2 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that sometimes characters will make different decisions than the ones I drew up on the outline. In the revision process I will go over whether these action are in line with the character’s arc and if they challenge the Old Ways enough.
Act 2: Key scenes 2 & 3 – Protagonist takes on a plan and executes it, Not only does their plan fail but…
INT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – DAY
Beginning: Han drops Jin at grandparents to babysit him. Does he threaten him to keep it a secret?
Middle: Jin watches TV with them and talk about a recent cheating scandal on the news.
End: Jin gets a call from Emma through the house phone.
EXT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Beginning: Jin meets Emma and they go out for dinner.
Middle: Emma wants to know what’s going on but Jin doesn’t tell her.
End: Jin asks Emma for her phone and tracks down his dad w/ his phone.
EXT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Beginning: Jin and Emma find Han at dinner with the mistress.
Middle: Jin tries to get closer to take photos and eavesdrop on them. Or he makes Emma go away?
End: Jin overhears an IMPORTANT PIECE OF INFORMATION (not sure yet), and also his grandparents call Han to locate Jin who has been out for a worrying time. Jin has to race back and beat Han.
Placeholder: Gives Emma back her phone but won’t tell her what’s going on. She gets concerned so she meets up with Han in secret. Han tells the story from his side and wins over Emma over drinks.
Meanwhile: Jin meets with his mother to get her to explain everything to his grandparents. Says he has evidence. She wavers, but ultimately agrees.
Jin meets Emma late, she is drunk and giddy, says she had drinks with his father and his friends. Says he’s just trying to protect you. She deleted all the photos for his good. His argument is that he made a mistake but he kept his family together for Jin. Could’ve gone through with divorce but didn’t.
INT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – DAY
Jae-sa, everything is running late because Jin’s mother isn’t there. Then finally she appears to break the news. Family members uncomfortably become silent. Jin realizes that they’ve known all along but have been looking the other way. Only women?
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Fred’s Act 2 Reaction to TP 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that my protagonist hasn’t been able to use his old ways to react to the situation adequately. In order to solidify the chance and character arc I will have to fix this scene in later drafts.
INT. GARAGE – DAY
Jin gets of Mother’s car and runs up to the gate.
MOTHER
A suitcase won’t fit in my car, so just fill up your sports bag.
INT. HOUSE – DAY
The hallway has been cleaned up now. Jin rushes into his bedroom.
INT. BEDROOM – DAY
Jin takes out a soccer bag from underneath his bed and opens it up.
HAN (O.S.)
Did you come here with your mom?
Jin whips around to see Han standing in the doorway.
JIN
No.
HAN
Really? The intercom said her car just entered.
HAN
Did she tell you to pack a bag too?
Jin doesn’t respond.
Han turns around and heads out to the foyer, Jin follows in pursuit.
INT. GARAGE – DAY
Han goes up Mother’s car and violently taps on the window. Mother’s eyes frighten with fear. She locks the door.
HAN
Come out here.
JIN
Mom, don’t, stay in the car.
HAN
You go back inside the house.
MOTHER
(muffled)
Jin get in!
Han tries to go to other side to open the door. She reaches over and locks it just in time. Han continues to yank on the handle.
HAN
Open this. NOW.
JIN
Mom, just go!
Mother scrambles in her seat, unable to decide.
HAN
Go where? We’re going to talk about this.
The car roars to life and Han jumps back from the sound. Her car screeches out of the garage in a flash.
HAN
You see that. That’s your Mother right there. She left you without a moment’s hesitation. I’m the one who’s sticking around after all this.
Han goes around to his car.
HAN
Get in.
Jin complies.
INT. CAR – DAY
HAN
And hand me your phone too.
Jin looks at him.
HAN
Don’t make me ask twice.
He places it in his hand. Han starts the car.
EXT. ROAD – DAY
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Fred’s Finished Act 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that a lot of 20% quality means I can write subpar dialogue to fill in the scenes and rewrite it later.
EXT. GARAGE – NIGHT
Mother is in the car with Jin, waiting for Han who is giddily saying goodbye to everyone else on the street.
HAN
Don’t you start having too much fun without me. Get home to your wives and kids at a decent time. You hear me?
She plays with the gas pedal every time Han comes within range of the car. Jin studies this curiously from behind.
Han finally gets in the car and slouches in the passenger seat. He closes his eyes and makes unpleasant noises with his dry mouth.
INT. CAR – NIGHT
Han is passed out while Mother is driving. A call for Han comes in through the car, connected via bluetooth. Mother doesn’t answer it.
Call comes in again. She picks up this time.
DISTRAUGHT WOMEN
Han! Why haven’t you been answering your phone?
MOTHER
Who is this?
No response.
MOTHER
Who is calling?
DISTRAUGHT WOMEN
I must have gotten the wrong number, I apologize.
The clicks off. Mother looks at the rearview mirror to see if Jin was listening. Jin closes his eyes and leans on the side to pretend he’s sleeping. His hand/foot is shaking/tapping.
INT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT
The car comes to a stop but no one gets out. Then Mother slams on the horn to wake up Han, who startles in his seat.
HAN
What happened?
She storms up to the apartment.
HAN
Are you not going to lend a hand?
JIN
That’s alright. I got it.
Han is cussing her out from inside the car. Jin goes to the back and opens up the trunk.
INT. PARENT’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Jin and Han enter with leftovers in their arms to find Mother pulling out a suitcase from under the bed.
HAN
What do you think you’re doing?
Mother collects her valuables from closets instead of answering.
HAN
Where are you going at this time of the night?
Mother hands Jin his passport and bank accounts.
MOTHER
Jin, put these somewhere safe where you won’t lose track of them.
JIN
What?
His hands are full so she tucks them into his pockets. She grabs her suitcase but Han blocks her way out.
MOTHER
Get out of the way.
HAN
What is it this time?
MOTHER
I’m done playing the faithful wife role in front of the in laws. Get one of your whores to do it if you need one so bad.
Jin’s eyes widen. Han takes the sting but finds composure.
HAN
Jin, go to your room.
MOTHER
He’s not a kid anymore.
HAN
That’s a conversation between me and him.
MOTHER
And yet you’ve put it aside all this time.
(re: Jin)
You’re father’s cheating on me… again.
Han lets go of the box of food as he SLAPS her across the face.
At the moment of contact glass noodles spill all over the floor.
Han is just as surprised as Jin by his actions.
MOTHER
Take good care of yourself, Jin.
She leaves the suitcase behind and walks out of the bedroom.
Han follows her out to the foyer and continues to dissuade her from leaving.
Jin meanwhile grabs a dishrag and starts cleaning up the mess.
After he’s done cleaning he looks at a framed photo of his parent’s wedding. When he puts his hand on it the grease leaves a smudgy imprint on the picture of his happy parents.
EXT. PHOTO BOOTH – DAY
On the street a station is set up with a red curtain that only exposes the couple’s legs.
Two sets of sticker photos start printing out. EMMA (17) is goofy and giddy with her poses. Jin seems a little lost. On the last photo Emma is leaning in for a kiss but Jin’s eyes remain open.
They step out of the booth to check on the prints.
EMMA
(laughing)
Jin, why are your eyes open?
JIN
I must’ve blinked at the wrong time.
EMMA
So cute.
Emma pulls out a little scrapbook filled to the brim with similar sticker photos. She slides the new one into the sleeve.
INT. ACCESSORY SHOP – DAY
Emma is picking out matching rings while Jin lingers in the back, eavesdropping on other couples.
EMMA
How about this one?
She holds up a simple gold pair.
JIN
Don’t those look wedding rings?
EMMA
That’s why I like it.
The couple that Jin is watching are holding hands, but the guy is checking out the cashier.
JIN
You don’t think it’s too serious? For our age?
EMMA
Well I also really like this one, but I know you don’t like gemstones. I know what you’d say. “Too girly.”
The second ring is silver with a blue stone.
JIN
Do we really need matching rings, though? Like we don’t need proof that we’re taken. It’s not like any of us are in high school anymore.
EMMA
I just like the idea of having something in common.
JIN
Okay. If you want to do it let’s do it.
EMMA
Well I don’t want you to do it just because I do. I’m not forcing you.
JIN
No, I do, I do.
Emma goes quiet, so Jin comes around to pick out one himself.
JIN
How about this one.
INT. BUS – DAY
Two hands are interlocked in each other’s laps. On their ring fingers are a pair of silver infinite rings.
Jin and Emma are seated down in the not so crowded bus.
EMMA
I can’t wait to show your parents these.
JIN
Oh, I don’t think they can get dinner with us this weekend.
EMMA
What, why?
JIN
My mom, she’s, going on a trip.
EMMA
Really? She didn’t tell me that.
JIN
It just came up. Her friend wants to take her to Jeju.
EMMA
Oh, well I hope she has a good time then.
JIN
She says she’s sorry.
EMMA
(giddy)
That’s alright. It just means I get to spend more time with you.
Emma leans on Jin’s shoulders and displays her affection.
The bus comes to a stop and picks up a large number of passengers. It’s now crowded to the point where an elderly man is looming right over them. He stares at Emma, looking less than impressed.
JIN
Here, we’re getting off at the next stop.
EMMA
Already?
Jin breaks his clasp and gets up to move past the elder. Emma follows. He slides into the vacant seat.
When Jin gets to the exit he holds on to the safety bars with both hands.
JIN
Hold onto something.
Emma places one hand on a bar, the one with her ring finger, but the other remains idle. After the bus departs she switches hands and puts the one with the ring back in her pocket.
INT. HOUSE – DAY
Jin and Emma walk through the foyer to find the hallway in complete disarray. Laundry is overflowing, dust has compiled, and dirty dishes are spilling out the kitchen sink. Bags of trash are filled with empty bottles and crushed up beer cans.
EMMA
What do you wanna watch?
Emma casually goes over to Jin’s room but Jin stops his tracks at the hallway.
JIN
Why don’t you put on something first. I’ll be there in a minute.
Jin haphazardly starts to pick up laundry and carries them over to the washing room. He is wrestling out a clunky old vacuum machine when Emma pops her head in.
INT. WASHROOM – CONTINUOUS
EMMA
Do you need any help with that?
JIN
No, no, I’m fine. Why don’t you hang out for a bit.
EMMA
You know what, I think I saw some dirty dishes in the kitchen.
JIN
No, no, don’t. Leave it.
EMMA
And let you clean all by yourself? We’ll finish up right around the same time.
JIN
No, Emma. This doesn’t concern you.
EMMA
Excuse me?
JIN
I mean it’s not your responsibility. Just let me do it.
EMMA
And you just want me to stand by…
JIN
Yes, please.
The intercom announces a message: “Vehicle has entered the parking garage.”
EMMA
Is that your dad?
JIN
You need to go.
Jin drops the vacuum on the ground and leads Emma towards the foyer.
EMMA
What?
JIN
He’ll be embarrassed to have a guest over when the house is looking like this.
EMMA
Jin, this isn’t anything new. Let me say hi to him.
JIN
Emma, believe me, you have to go now.
EMMA
What’s with you today?
JIN
Just trust me on this, will you?
Jin holds her hand. Their infinite rings touch.
EMMA
Alright.
JIN
And don’t go out the garage, please.
Before Emma can respond Jin gives her a peck and returns to picking up trash all over the hallway.
Emma remains confused but she quietly exits.
INT. FOYER – MOMENTS LATER
Han enters with a bag full of imported whiskey and sets it down while he takes off his shoes. He sniffs the air. Jin comes around to greet him.
JIN
Welcome home, father.
HAN
What’s that smell?
JIN
Smell?
Han walks past Jin to the messy hallway?
JIN
Does it smell that bad?
HAN
No, there’s a scent. It’s familiar.
JIN
Oh, I sprayed that.
HAN
Perfume?
JIN
I thought it was Febreze.
HAN
Open up some windows. Let some fresh air in.
Han turns the corner and finds the filthy sink.
HAN
Tell the cleaning lady to start coming twice a week from now on. You can hardly tell she cleaned it at all.
JIN
How do I get in touch with her?
HAN
Just tell her the next time she comes by.
JIN
And mother?
HAN
Your mother is gone Jin. She walked out on this family. A family is meant to stick together, no matter what happens.
EXT. HOTEL RESTAURANT – DAY
From the garden a glass window peers into a reserved room. Jin’s relatives are all gathered to sing happy birthday for JENNY/HAN/JIN? Who’s birthday should it be
INT. HOTEL RESTAURANT – CONTINUOUS
Jenny blows out the candles and everyone claps to celebrate.
INT. HOTEL BUFFET – DAY
Jin places salad/korean food on his plate. When he swings around he bumps into a female employee who shrieks and drops a plate on the ground.
Japchae, glass noodles flies everywhere and the plate is shattered to pieces.
EMPLOYEE
I’m so sorry! Are you alright.
JIN
It’s okay.
Jin bends over to pick up pieces but a male manager intercepts him.
MANAGER
Sir, we’ll handle the mess. I apologize again.
JIN
No, I actually bumped into her.
MANAGER
It’s never the customer’s fault, sir.
Jin gets up but lingers nearby.
The manager suddenly speaks in a threatening tone.
MANAGER
(whispering)
What are you doing?!
EMPLOYEE
I’m sorry I didn’t anticipate –
MANAGER
I told you to keep you eyes wide open, didn’t I?
EMPLOYEE
Yes, yes you did.
MANAGER
Go and get a broom and dustpan right away!
GRANDMA (O.S.)
What a waste.
Jin finds her Grandma shaking her head as she piles on a different dish on her plate.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Jin idles around a bench waiting for someone. He stops when he recognizes a familiar face, but seems surprised.
His Mother approaches him in a flowery dress, looking 10 years younger. She smiles at him.
MOTHER
You found your way okay didn’t you.
JIN
Yeah…
MOTHER
Have you eaten?
JIN
I did.
MOTHER
Then let’s go for a walk. The route here is scenic around the pond.
His Mother strides confidently forward, Jin is a bit dumbfounded by her renewed energy but follows her.
EXT. POND – DAY
JIN
Do you like this new neighborhood?
MOTHER
It has everything it needs.
Jin goes to lean over against the railing.
MOTHER
What’s that on your hand?
JIN
It’s a couple’s ring. Emma picked it out.
MOTHER
Very pretty. A bit odd that you’re wearing one now and I’m not.
JIN
Are you getting a divorce?
MOTHER
No. But that doesn’t mean I’m coming back to live with your father.
JIN
Why let him get away with it then?
MOTHER
The worst stigma you can get labeled for in this country is a cheating spouse. If he’s divorced, he’d be set free from all that.
JIN
Is that enough, though?
MOTHER
It’s enough if it means I don’t have to suffer any longer.
JIN
Doesn’t seem fair.
MOTHER
Whatever happens between me and your father remains between us. Don’t let it come between you two.
JIN
How can it not?
MOTHER
Because he’ll still be the one taking care of you and paying for your school.
INT. MOM’S APARTEMNT – DAY
The place is tidy but tiny. Two bedroom apartment with minimal furniture.
MOTHER
I got a spare room in case you ever want to stay. It’s not much but it’ll have a bed.
JIN
When should I bring my stuff?
MOTHER
It’s not ready yet but maybe next week-
JIN
Mom, I can’t live under the same roof as him.
MOTHER
I don’t blame you. But your father will think I’m pitting you against him.
JIN
He of all people should know that that’s his fault entirely.
MOTHER
I won’t be able to provide for you like he can, Jin.
JIN
Don’t you want revenge, mom? Because I do.
MOTHER
Let’s go get your stuff then.
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Fred’s Turning Point 1 Scene
What I learned from this assignment is that normally the protagonist has no choice but to reluctantly sign off onto the journey. My turning point was more self driven, and I am wondering if I may have to change that later.
EXT. HOTEL BUFFET – DAY
Beginning: Jin and his relatives are celebrating his birthday/college acceptance, etc. They ask where his mother is and Han comes up with an excuse.
Middle: Jin sees a female employee drop a plate of glass noodles just like him. The plate shatters and a male manager comes over to ream her out, while putting on a faux apology to the customers. (Or another married couple)
End: Jin’s grandmother makes a comment or gives him advice about marriage? – I wish I get to see you get married before I leave this world.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Beginning: Jin meets up with his Mother. She looks completely different. Years younger with her hair and attire, no longer shackled by the burdens of marriage.
Middle: Mother explains that his father has a history with cheating. First found out when Jin was a child. She took him and ran off to America. Agreed to keep it under the lid while you were growing up. But now you’re an adult and you should know.
End: Mother tells Jin not to get married too early. She regrets marrying young. Graduated top of her class and never got to use her degree or work. All his in laws wanted was an industrious housewife.
INT. MOTHER’S APARTMENT – DAY
Beginning: Mother gives a brief tour of her new place. Tidy but tiny. Not sure what she wants to use the extra room for.
Middle: Jin asks if she doesn’t want any revenge? Mother doesn’t want her business to interfere with his life.
End: Jin asks if he can move into the spare bedroom.
Point of no return: Jin moves in with his Mother so they can plot a revenge on his father.
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Fred’s Inciting Incident Scenes
What I learned from this assignment is that new ideas and spins can take off from the original scenes I had in mind. The process of outlining can sometimes inspire new directions.
THIRD SCENE: Wrapping Up, leaving
BEGINNING: Aunt leaves early, Grandfather compliments her for what a fine job she’s done.
MIDDLE: Mother brings out fruit for the men. Han points out the skin hasn’t been completely peeled off before biting into it.
END: Mother is waiting in the car for Han who is drunk and saying goodbye to everyone else.
INT. CAR – NIGHT
Beginning: Han is passed out in the front seat while Mother is driving. A call for Han comes in through the car, connected via bluetooth. Mother doesn’t answer it.
Middle: Call comes in again. She picks up this time. A distraught women is on the other line demanding to know why Han hasn’t been picking up. Mother asks who this is. She hangs up.
End: Mother looks at rearview mirror to see if Jin was listening. Jin closes his eyes and leans on the side to pretend he’s sleeping. His hand/foot is shaking/tapping.
INT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT
Beginning: Mother parks the car. She slams on the horn to wake up Han, who startles in his seat. She storms up to the apartment.
Middle: Han is cussing her out from inside the car. Jin offers to take the leftovers from the trunk.
End: Back in the apartment Jin and Han find Mother raiding her closet and throwing everything in a suitcase.
INT. PARENT’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Beginning: Han asks what the hell she’s doing. Mother claims she’s done putting up with his bullshit.
Middle: Han tells Jin to go to his room but Mother says Jin needs to hear this to. Your father is cheating on me… again.
End: Mother tries to storm out but Han gets in the way. They struggle in the doorway and knock over Jin’s leftovers, spilling it all over the ground. Han tells her to have it her way.
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Beginning: Jin cleans up the mess on the floor.
Middle: He studies the numerous wedding/marriage photos of his parents displayed around the room.
End:
EXT. PHOTO BOOTH – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Date with EMMA (17), Jin’s girlfriend. Sticker photos of them together printing. Jin’s face is conflicted. Emma leans in for a kiss but his eyes remain open.
Discussion about dinner with his family again. Jin has to lie. INITIAL REACTION: DENIAL
INT. HOUSE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: House is a mess, no cleaning done whatsoever. Dirty dishes, dust, laundry.
Emma offers to help but Jin adamantly says no. The parking system notifies a car coming in: Han. He tells her to leave now, but not through the garage. She doesn’t understand, she wants to say hi, but he insists on it.
Han comes in quite frustrated. The unkempt house only adds to his rage. He tells Jin to let the cleaning lady know that she should start coming twice a week now. Jin doesn’t know her number since her mother takes care of this. Han just tells him to notify her when she comes next time.
And her mother? Han says your mother walked out on us. She gave up on us. A family is supposed to stick together. That’s the most important thing. Now it’s just the two of us.
EXT. HOTEL BUFFET – DAY
Beginning: Jin and his relatives are celebrating his birthday/college acceptance, etc. They ask where his mother is and Han comes up with an excuse.
Middle: Jin sees a female employee drop a plate of glass noodles just like him. The plate shatters and a male manager comes over to ream her out, while putting on a faux apology to the customers. (Or another married couple)
End: Jin’s grandmother makes a comment or gives him advice about marriage? – I wish I get to see you get married before I leave this world.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Beginning: Jin meets up with his Mother. She looks completely different. Years younger with her hair and attire, no longer shackled by the burdens of marriage.
Middle: Mother explains that his father has a history with cheating. First found out when Jin was a child. She took him and ran off to America. Agreed to keep it under the lid while you were growing up. But now you’re an adult and you should know.
End: Mother regrets marrying young. Graduated top of her class and never got to use her degree or work. All his in laws wanted was an industrious housewife.
INT. MOTHER’S APARTMENT – DAY
Beginning: Mother gives a brief tour of her new place. Tidy but tiny. Not sure what she wants to use the extra room for.
Middle: Jin asks if she doesn’t want any revenge? Mother doesn’t want her business to interfere with his life.
End: Jin asks if he can move into the spare bedroom.
Point of no return: Jin moves in with his Mother and severs all connections with his father’s side of the family.
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Fred’s ACT 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned from this assignment is that having a beginning, middle, and end in your outline helps clear up scenes before writing the first draft.
OPENING SCENE: Ceremony
INT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – NIGHT
BEGINNING: JIN (18) is setting down plates of food for the ancestral offering. The elderly men are chatting in the living room sitting down. Jin’s FATHER, HAN, (44) gives instructions about where each item goes from afar.
MIDDLE: Procession starts. Ritual includes candles, incense, pouring alcohol, bowing. Jin’s cousin, JENNY (8) runs in to interrupt the ceremony out of curiosity. Han tells her to stay with her mother in the kitchen.
END: Ceremony ends. Elders go out to the door to bid farewell to the spirits. Han tells Jin to take her cousin and go toss dates around the backyard for good luck. Instead Jin feeds the dates to the house dog.
SECOND SCENE: Dinner
INT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – NIGHT
BEGINNING: All the men are eating a huge feast from the offering at a large wooden table. Han talks up Jin’s GRANDFATHER (70) for providing all this great food and abundance of wealth for them.
MIDDLE: Jin’s AUNT (38) comes around to find out who wants rice. The obese men claim they are watching their weight and will take half, a third, a quarter, etc. Han condescendingly comments on what a fine little girl Jenny is becoming. Gives her some money and waits for her to say thank you.
END: Jin gets fed up and decides to go to the kitchen. There he sees all the women eating on the ground, surrounded by mountains of food they’ve prepared. His MOTHER (42) alone is working to pack up leftovers. Jin gets fawned by his grandmother and the other old ladies for being so nice to help out. Mother is completely ignored by everyone.
THIRD SCENE: Wrapping Up, leaving
INT. HAN’S CAR – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Aunt leaves early, Grandfather compliments her for what a fine job she’s done.
MIDDLE: Mother brings out fruit for the men. Han points out the skin hasn’t been completely peeled off before biting into it.
END: Mother is waiting in the car for Han who is saying goodbye to everyone else.
– NEEDS TWIST?
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What I learned doing this assignment is the antagonist needs to have a clear through line that goes in direct opposition to the protagonist’s quest. Or else there is no sense of escalating conflict.
THEME: <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>How tradition and culture can subject mistreatment without any acknowledgement
What is the benefit of tradition?
Brings people together, family
Passes down heritage from generation to generation
What is the consequence of tradition?
Stubbornness, strict rules
Stereotypes, roles, subjugation to abuse and mistreatment, condescension
Antagonist Beat Sheet
1. Father wants to pass down the tradition of family ritual to his son, maybe the restaurant as well?
2. Father removes any threat of discovery of his mistress. Phone call in the car.
3. Jin finds out about Father but he continues to act as if nothing is wrong. Continues to behave high and almighty around his son. Jin is disturbed by this.
4. Father pressures Jin’s mom to attend a birthday dinner for the grandfather, assures her that no work will be necessary, just an appearance is all
5. At dinner he ridicules her for earning a degree in psychology and doing nothing with it. Grandfather backs this up unknowingly by assuring that she played her part in raising two sons, and that he gave her a bonus every time she gave birth to a male offspring. Jin is disgusted by this.
6. Jin speaks up but his father shuts him down and tells him to leave dinner. Be dismissed.
7. Father goes around and confesses to the family before Jin has a chance to, get them on his side. They believe in his story and forgive him. Jin doesn’t get the reaction he wants when he breaks the news.
8. The family banishes his mother from coming to ignore the situation.
9. Forces of opposition need to get stronger before showdown at the end.
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What I learned from this assignment is that the high speed writing rules are a commitment to myself in order to produce the best end product. I will have to sacrifice quality over quantity in order to not get stuck or give up in the middle of the writing process.
BEAT SHEET:
Act 1:
INT. DAD’S RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Placeholder: Jin serving, Dad running his business as head chef, leaves early for family meeting
INT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – NIGHT
OPENING: Jin is at his grandparents performing a traditional ritual for his ancestors. His mother is in the kitchen working for hours to prepare for the food. Jin moves back and forth between kitchen (women’s space) and living room (men’s space).
INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT
TE 1: Jin is acknowledged as a man now. No longer sits with the women of the household. Rite of passage (Should be unaware of Mom’s endeavors, maybe doesn’t start off in the kitchen).
INT. MOM’S CAR – DAY (transition? location?)
INCiTING INCIDENT: Jin’s mother tells him about his father’s past. Asks him to decide if he wants to live with his father or his mother.
INT. DAD’S CAR – DAY (transition? location?)
TE 2: Call comes through the bluetooth speaker in the car. Jin overhears a mistress calling his father in distress.
INT. HOUSE – DAY (transition? location?)
TURNING POINT: Jin decides to live with his mother, leaving behind all the connections with his relatives.
Act 2:
NEW PLAN: Expose his father for who he is. (transition? location?)
TE 3: Realizes how badly his relatives have been abusing his mother. Taking her for granted. She has been making sacrifices and suffering without anyone’s help.
INT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – DAY
PLAN IN ACTION: Tell his relatives the truth. Break the news at dinner in front of his grandparents.
MIDPOINT TURNING POINT: They are already aware of it, but choose to ignore it.
TE 4: Storm out, sever his connections with them.
Act 3:
RETHINK EVERYTHING: Needs stronger evidence that they can’t turn their head away from
INT. DAD’S CAR – DAY
NEW PLAN: Find and meet one of the women he has had an affair with
EXT. PRESCHOOL – DAY?
TURNING POINT: Mistress had a child with him that he abandoned, NOW his family are horrified by his father’s irresponsibility. Father loses all credibility and respect.
Act 4:
INT. DAD’S RESTAURANT – DAY
CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT: Destroys his father’s reputation in front of his family members by bringing the mistress and her bastard son. Have him disowned.
INT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – NIGHT (transition? location?)
TE 5: Sees that he has destroyed the harmony of his family.
INT. DAD’S CAR – NIGHT/EXT. HAN RIVER – NIGHT
Forgives his father and admit that he is . Understand that they are different yet inseparable.
INT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – NIGHT
RESOLUTION: Jin attends the family ritual ceremony without his mother.
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1. What I learned from this assignment is that the transformational events are a contrast between the present and the future; between the Old and the New Ways. I also learned that contrast will be vast at the beginning but will get smaller as the Hero gets closer to who they will be in the end. Finally, there are one or two Transformational Events per Act, but those events become more extreme as the protagonist becomes more competent.
2. Start with the Character Arc and the list of Old Ways and New Ways.
OLD Ways: Romantic, naive, believes in marriage of parents
Hangs out with his girlfriend
Avoids the truth, ignorant
Close relationship with father’s side of the family
No relationship with mother’s side of the family
NEW Ways: Realist, cynical(?), believes relationships are temporary
Breaks up with his girlfriend
Seeks the truth, wants justice
Damaged yet restored with father’s side of the family
Kindles new relationship with mother’s side of the family
Arc Beginning: Jin is unwilling to accept the impending divorce of his parents.
Arc Ending: Jin forgives his father and makes peace with both sides of the family.
3. Make a list of 6 – 8 changes or steps that need to happen for that character to go from who they are in the beginning (Old Ways) to who they are in the ending (New Ways).
– Recognize his father’s crime, shatter his belief system that he is perfect
– See how much his relatives take advantage of his mother, her suffering and sacrifice
– Make the decision to give up his current life: either move in with mom’s new apt or go to school in NYC
– Find out that his relatives are aware of his father’s actions, yet choose to protect him
– Team up with a woman his father had an affair with to expose the illegitimate child he had
– Cheat on his girlfriend to realize that he is the same devil as his father
– Realize he has caused too many other people pain and that he must forgive his father to restore the balance of his family
4. Sequence the steps from easiest to most difficult. This will imply the journey the character takes.
5. Brainstorm dramatic events or tests that could cause those changes for the character.
– Call comes through the bluetooth speaker in the car. Jin overhears a mistress calling him in distress.
– Family ritual ceremony, mother working hours in the kitchen. Not being acknowledged. The other aunts arriving late and leaving early.
– Tells his girlfriend that he won’t be moving in with her/going to school with her. Abandon her.
– Break the news at dinner in front of his grandparents, storm out, sever his connections with them.
– Get in touch with the mistress and meet his bastard half brother. Bring them to his grandparents and have his father disowned. Destroy his reputation and his business.
– Has to convince his girlfriend, who is close with his father, that he is in the wrong. Cheats on her to prove a point? Or break up with her since she doesn’t want to?
– Confront his father and forgive him, attend the family ritual together without his mom
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Jin’s 4 Act Transformational Structure
What I learned from this assignment is that all it takes to challenge the Old Ways is to simply have them not work. The protagonist doesn’t have to spell out their Old Ways in dialogue.
1. Give us the following:
Concept: After finding out about his father’s infidelity, Jin wants to expose him and seek justice for his mother.
Main Conflict: In a patriarchal society, his relatives overlook this mistake and continue to treat him as family. His father continues to hold a well respected status.
Jin’s Old Ways:
Old Identity: On his father’s side
Ignorant of his mother’s sacrifices and sufferings
Innocent and naive
Jin’s New Ways:
New Identity: On his mother’s side
Sees an inherently flawed system in his extended family: in laws take advantage of mothers
Belief of love is shattered, cynical
2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
Opening
Jin is at his grandparents performing a traditional ritual for his ancestors. His mother is in the kitchen working for hours to prepare for the food.
Inciting Incident
Jin’s mother tells him about his father’s past. Asks him to decide if he wants to live with his father or his mother.
Turning Point
Jin decides to live with his mother, leaving behind all the connections with his relatives.
Act 2:
New plan
Expose his father for who he is.
Plan in action
Tell his relatives the truth.
Midpoint Turning Point
They are already aware of it, but choose to ignore it.
Act 3:
Rethink everything
Needs stronger evidence that they can’t turn their head away from
New plan
Find and meet one of the women he has had an affair with
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift
Mistress had a child with him that he abandoned, NOW his family are horrified by his father’s irresponsibility. Father loses all credibility and respect.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
Forgive his father and admit a similar mistake. Understand that they are different yet inseparable.
Resolution
Jin attends the family ritual ceremony without his mother.
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Fred’s Character Interviews
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<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What I learned from this exercise is that it is challenging to figure out what old habits will be most DIFFICULT to let go for the protagonist.
QUESTIONS FOR YOUR PROTAGONIST
Tell me about yourself.
My name is Jin and I am 18 years old. I am about to go off to college and be part of a long distance relationship with my girlfriend Emma. I am quite close with the relatives on my dad’s side of the family but not my mom’s.
Why do you think you were called to this journey? Why you?
Because I discovered that I was living under the false pretense of a stable marriage and people were actively trying to cover it up. No one else would stand up for my mother so I will.
You are up against . What is it about them that makes this journey even more difficult for you?
My father has much more power and parental authority over me. He also backs me financially so I might be getting cut off from that support. His side of the family will always love him and support him no matter what because he is family. My mom is an outcast because Korean society relies heavily on patriarchy and she is treated as an inferior in law, who is expected to help out and sacrifice. Everyone can play the who’s suffered more game. They all had to make sacrifices to get where they are now.
In order to survive or accomplish this, you are going to have to step way outside of your box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them will be the most difficult?
I will have to go against the very family that has raised me and formed bonds with.
I will also have to fight with my girlfriend who has a positive relationship with my father.
My understanding of love will become more and more cynical which will hurt.
What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let go of?***
Spending time with my relatives, father, girlfriend.
The idea that love is internal.
What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back?
That I may be just as bad as my dad.
What skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this conflict or antagonist?
My American upbringing allows me to challenge his authority in a society where children are utterly subservient to their parents.
What are you hiding from the other characters? What don’t you want them to know?
That secretly I may become a cheating bastard just like him.
What do you think of your FATHER?
He is a liar. He doesn’t get to decide what’s best for me. I should have known.
Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story.
Everyone played along with this lie for my sake. So that I wouldn’t be traumatized at an early age.
What does it do for your life is you succeed here?
I get justice for my mom.
I get to place him further out of my life so that I don’t become like him.
Ask any other questions about their character profile that will help you.
QUESTIONS FOR YOUR ANTAGONIST
Tell me about yourself.
I am the father of Jin. I used to work in business but decided to chase my dream and opened up a restaurant where I am the head chef.
Having to do with this journey, what are your strengths and weaknesses?
My strength lies in my absolute sense of authority. I am the head of my family and restaurant, so whatever I say goes.
My weakness may be that I have not been faithful in my marriage and I cannot tell my son about it because I am trying to protect him.
Why are you committed to making the Protagonist fail? Or for a relationship movie, why are you committed to making them change?
I don’t want my son to know I cheated on his mom because we share a bond as father and son. I do not want to lose that. A father without respect has no purpose. I want to be his role model. I have to convince him that what I did was a mistake and he had nothing to do with it.
What do you get out of winning this fight / succeeding in your plan / taking down your competition?
I get to save face from the rest of the family. I also don’t have to feel guilty. I get to maintain my sense of family which is important to me.
What drives you toward your mission / agenda, even in the face of danger, ruin, or death?
The concept of a happy family is what has been most important to me as a father. I want my son to come from a stable nuclear family with close relatives. I also don’t want something I’m ashamed of to become public knowledge.
What secrets must you keep to succeed? What other secrets do you keep out of fear / insecurity?
The multiple women I have had an affair with.
Some are trying to blackmail me.
Compared to other people like you, what makes you special?
I have a respectable profession where I deal with public customers every day. I am the only son so I have to take care of my father.
What do you think of JIN?
Jin is an honest kid that is still growing up. I need to protect him from the harsh reality of life. I am his parent so he owes me respect. Rebellion is something I will not tolerate.
Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story.
I married young when I knew no better and his mother and I were just not compatible in the long term. In order to maintain a happy family I sought romance elsewhere. And for everyone’s best interests we acted as if nothing happened. Children growing up in broken homes is a bad omen in our culture.
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Fred’s Character Profile Part 2
What I learned during this assignment is that subtext is a key yet difficult component to figure out.
What draws us to this character?
Jin is the only one who wants to do something about the injustice committed against his mother while everyone else in his extended family has been ignoring it.
Traits:
Cowardly/Timid at first
Ignorance is bliss
TURNS INTO
Righteous, seeks justice
The truth is all that matters
Subtext:
Doesn’t want to be coddled for being the youngest
Not sure how he conveys it yet
Something more than just passive agression
Flaw:
Can’t forgive father
Sees himself becoming more and more like him
Values:
Marriage
Committed relationship
Brutally honest
Irony:
Can’t do long distance relationship
Ends up cheating on his girlfriend just like his father
Wants eternal love, but doesn’t feel it
Wants his girlfriend Emma to stay out of family conflict
Thinks he needs to build a relationship with him mom’s side of the family, but can’t relate to them
Feels as if he should put some distance between him and his relatives but he still feels close to them
What makes this the right character for this role?
His innocent way of understanding love forces him to seek justice
But upon entering college his belief systems cracks and he sees himself become more and more like his father
Jin has been unknowingly been part of a patriarchal society and now reckons the flaws apparent in it
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Fred’s Character Profiles – Part 1
What I learned is that roles in the story help pave the way for coherent structure and act as a guideline for what kind of actions the Protagonist and Antagonist will take.
Role in the story:
Protagonist – Runner/Victim, loving boyfriend, close with his father’s side of the family
Antagonist – Villain, Cheating husband, dishonest father, separates marriage from parenting, hides infidelity from his son
Age range and Description:
Protagonist – 18, innocent, naive, cuts his hair in an edgy way later out of rebellion, small frame
Antagonist – 44, entitled, condescending, wears expensive clothing
Internal Journey:
Belief and understanding on love changes from eternal to temporary (so does hate)
External Journey:
Wanting to preserve everything to letting go and allowing things to break off separately (family members, girlfriend)
Motivation:
Want: hurt his dad, retribution for what he’s done to his mom
Need: accept that his dad is human too and that he has made a mistake
Wound:
Belief of faithfulness shattered by news of infidelity
Maybe was cheated on by someone else previously, personally (?)
Mission/Agenda:
Expose the fraud his father is, have him shunned by his relatives
Cause him pain that his mother went through
Secret:
Jin also cheats on his girlfriend purposely to have a reason to break up with her because he can’t tell her the truth, that he doesn’t have feelings for her anymore
What makes them special?
Can’t Lie?
???
What other characters might be necessary?
Supporting characters: Girlfriend Emma, new friend Eilo, Mother
Minor roles: Brother (?)
Background characters: Relatives
Pick your genre.
Drama
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1. Name? Fred
2. How many scripts you’ve written? 2
3. What you hope to get out of the class? I’d like to end up with a screenplay with a solid sense of structure.
4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? I’m about to start my first real job as a surfing instructor this month.
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Jin’s Transformational Journey
1. Story Arc — Identify old ways and new ways.
OLD Ways: Romantic, naive, believes in marriage of parents
Hangs out with his girlfriend
Better relationship with father’s side of the family
No relationship with mother’s side of the family
NEW Ways: Realist, cynical, believes relationships are temporary
Breaks up with his girlfriend
Damaged relationship with father’s side of the family
Kindles new relationship with mother’s side of the family
2. Protagonist and Antagonist — Who are we traveling with?
Father isn’t much of a presence yet, hard to have conflict between characters if they are always apart from each other, off screen*
Need to go through a journey together, either as partners or obstacles
Maybe in his place use Eilo, new female friend, exposes his beliefs on dating
3. Conflict — What is forcing this change?
College, long distance, news of divorce, parents waited until he was 18 and left the nest
Forms a female friend that fills the role of his girlfriend, but then she leaves him because she starts dating someone else
4. Theme — What is this story about?
Different understandings of love, what’s best for one’s son, or parents vice versa, sacrifice
5. The 4 Act Transformational Structure.
Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring
6. Beat Sheet: Obstacles/Challenges — What events demand the change?
Accepted to school in new york
Not coming home? Not visiting girlfriend/break up
Information of divorce blows up at family reunion
Different testimonials from both parents, sides with mom’s, hears about the negatives that his dad fails to mention
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7. Arc Beginning: Jin is unwilling to accept the impending divorce of his parents.
Arc Ending: Jin forgives his father and makes peace with both sides of the family.
8. I<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>nternal Journey: From afraid of dealing with conflict To being able to confront his fears.
External Journey: From breaking relationships with people To repairing them.