George Tedino
Forum Replies Created
-
George Tedino
INCITING INCIDENT from ACT 1
What I learned doing this assignment
is trying to outline inside of an outline
MIDDLE:
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
A typical high school lockers outside, kids walking around talking, laughing. George is at his locker talking to a girl in one of his classes when her boyfriend and town bully ADAM, a big hot shot football player, comes over to stop George from talking to her. George’s friends KIMMIE, a redhead, tough, smart mouth teen and JOHN, a black haired funny guy who gets himself in trouble, stand to protect George.
MIDDLE: the teacher stepping in to break up a possible fight
END: A cafeteria run in George and Adam had.
George: So yeah, I can for sure help you with the homework assignment.
Adam comes barging in.
Adam: Hey weirdo. Step away from my girl.
Girlfriend: Hey I just had a question about homework that’s all it was.
George: Yes that is all.
Adam: I don’t care you don’t talk to her.
Adam pushes him into the locker.
Girlfriend: Hey that was not necessary.
Kimmie (off screen) Yeah what the hell was that for?
John: Yeah.
Adam: Oh look guys if it isn’t the werido’s muscle. Kimmie you are more of a man then he is. John you think you are so funny. What won’t be funny is when I punch your face in.
Kimmie
That was a lot of words did you hurt yourself.
Adam
Seriously, you redheaded freak.
George
Enough. Everyone just walk away.
Adam
You walk away from me I swear it will be the last time.
George turns his back and Adam grabs him to spin him around when a teacher steps in.
Gym Teacher
Let him go and do walk away everyone.
They all walk away.
INT. CAFETERIA
George, Kimmie, and John are sitting down chatting, Adam and his buddies come over to the table.
Adam: One of these days you will get what you freaks deserve.
George: Why? Why are you threatened by us? We have done nothing to you guys.
Adam: You are just not wanted here neither one of you guys. You are losers your parents must have paid alot of money to get you guys in here.
George: My parents are dead you shit head.
Adam: I have warned you freak. Watch your backs.
The big INCIDENT
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>EXT. SURBURN STREET – DAY
George walking home with Kimmie and John just chatting when suddenly a car comes down the street driven by Adam and he has four friends with him. They get out of the car and start to harass George, Kimmie, and John it turns violent
END: George being consoled by Kimmie and John but George must go on the run.
ADAM
Well well, look what we have here boys, the freak brigade.
GEORGE
You don’t live around here Adam. So what are you doing here?
ADAM
My boys and I were taking a ride around checking out the neighborhoods.
GEORGE
I guess. So why don’t you get back into your car?
ADAM
Oh we will.
They move in on them, one knocks John down to the ground. One grabs Kimmy she hits him with a punch but he picks her up throws her down, the others surround George.
KIMMY (being held down)
NO DON’T. NOOO……
Gets muffled as he covers her mouth, John is trying to fight the other one off but he can’t
GEORGE
You are making a grave mistake. I am warning you, don’t do this, I will kill you.
ADAM
Freak you couldn’t hurt a fly, so I’ll be shocked if you last longer than a minute from this beat down.
George
I warned you.
One kid takes a swing and misses George, then George gets a kick into his side and pushes him into the other kid leaving Adam there alone for the moment. Adam takes a swing George ducks and swing
Adam then with a spear tackles him to the ground and punches him in the nose. He hits him in the nose again, blood now streaming. The other two come over and get some kicks into the side of him.
ADAM
Not so tough now are you?
GEORGE (spiting blood)
I could say the same about you. You and your goon squad.
ADAM
That is how I show you respect. Your such a tough guy I needed my friends to help. Guys let’s finish this up we have to go back to practice.gs and misses.
Adam reaches for his head and punches him again and again. One of the other kids kicks him in the leg and the other one kicks him in the chest. Adam stands up sees him laying there motionless, crying, and bleeding.
Adam points to his friends and motions for one to grab his ankles. The other grabs his arms and raises them above his head.
Kimmy is trying to get up but she is pinned down crying and trying to scream. She looks at John and John who is now on the ground winks and closes his eyes she does the same. Adam stands over him and begins to undo the glasses from the side of his head to take them off. Kimmy is just crying and feels she is no longer restrained, she begins to crawl forward and bumps into John who has Georges glasses. Kimmy and John holding George on the ground, they put his glasses back on. The other five boys are just sprawled out on the ground frozen solid.
EXT. THE FOREST – NIGHT
George, Kimmy, and John are trying to console one another.
GEORGE (V.O.)
Kimmy and John, my best friends they always knew about my problem. When I got home I packed some stuff and I ran away from the world that I knew. Kimmy and John explained what happened to my grandparents.
INT. GEORGE’S GRANDPARENTS HOUSE
Kimmie and John inside talking his grandparents.
v.o. (cont.)
I told Kimmy and John, I would stay in touch and only let them know where I am.
-
George Tedino
Act 1 Opening Scene
What I learned from doing this assignment
Outlines help set up scenes
OPENING SCENE
EXT. BUILDING – NIGHT
A tall building on the waterfront as a man named GEORGE leaps out of that window. George, a man in his late 20’s wearing all black and special glasses. He is smiling as he is falling. HIs voice begins a voice over.
George (V.O.) You maybe thinking why would I be smiling as I am falling either to my death or freedom. Well my story is a pretty short and long one actually. I can’t tell you why I smile, I last time I did smile was a while ago. I haven’t had much to smile about at times in my life, but as you will see at times what did I have to be smiling about.
Flashback as the story begins from his memories
<b style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>INT. LABORATORY
Beginning: George and his dad in a laboratory. George is now about 5 he watching his dad work when his dad’s boss walks in MARTY, a tall guy wearing a suit and tie. He works for the government on a secret defense project. His dad and Marty start to talk about the trails. George is siting there listening.
MIDDLE:
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
A typical high school lockers outside, kids walking around talking, laughing. George is at his locker talking to a girl in one of his classes when her boyfriend and town bully ADAM, a big hot shot football player, comes over to stop George from talking to her. George’s friends KIMMIE, a redhead, tough, smart mouth teen and JOHN, a black haired funny guy who gets himself in trouble, stand to protect George.
EXT. SURBURN STREET – DAY
George walking home with Kimmie and John just chatting when suddenly a car comes down the street driven by Adam and he has four friends with him. They get out of the car and start to harass George, Kimmie, and John it turns violent
INT. MARTY’S OFFICE
One of Marty’s captains comes into the room, he has news for him as to whereabouts of George is.
END:
INT. GEORGE’S GRANDPARENTS HOUSE
Marty and his men are in the house talking to George’s grandparents while his men are looking for George in the house.
-
This reply was modified 2 years ago by George Tedino.
-
This reply was modified 2 years ago by
-
George Tedino
Beat sheet draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment
that you need a good antagonist story to build good story telling
From yesterday’s beat sheet to weaving theme and Antagonist journey so yesterday’s will not be highlighted the new theme and journey will be
Act 1
EXT. BUILDING – NIGHT
Tall building on the waterfront as a man named George leaps out the window.
INT. LABATORY
Marty and George’s father are talking about the testing going on for the super soldiers and why the mutation gene experiment is not working.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
A high school with lockers outside, many kids walking around. George is standing at his locker talking to a girl in his class when her boyfriend a football player and bully named ADAM comes over to stop George from talking to her.
INT. MARTY’S OFFICE
Marty had a lead on where George maybe and is on the move.
EXT. SURBAN STREET – DAY
George walking home with Kimmie and John when a car driven by Adam with a few of his teammates stop and go to harass George but as that happens something is about to happen to Adam and his friends.
EXT. GEORGE’S GRANDPARENTS HOUSE
Marty hearing of the incident on the news is there to find George. George’s Grandparents come outside to talk with Marty as they want to know why he is here.
Act 2
unfortunately there is no antagonist to weave into this part of the story.
Act 3
EXT. OUTSIDE RESTURANT – NIGHT
Two thugs run up on George and Sara to try and rob them. It puts George in a tough position and Sara doesn’t know how to react to what George has done.
INT. MARTY’S OFFICE
One of Marty’s captains runs into tell him they have a lead to George is alive
INT. GRANDPARENTS HOUSE – NIGHT
George is surrounded by Marty’s men
INT. GRANDPARENTS HOUSE – NIGHT
Marty and men surround George in the living room and Marty sitting down to talk to him about joining his forces.
INT. GEORGE’S BEDROOM
George is sitting tied up to a chair bleedng when he looks over and sees Sara on the bed tied down and crying and screaming gagged. He is concerned and tries to move but is met with a punch, she screams more and is slapped, George screams
INT. GEORGE”S BEDROOM
Marty enters the room and sees what is men have done and is about to talk to George about his decision to not join him.
Act 4
EXT. LARGE BUILDING – NIGHT
George and John start to go toward the building to start toward his meeting with Marty
INT. MARTY’S OFFICE
Kimmie is in Marty’s office in full panic mode, he now is trying to lockdown the building.
INT. MARTY’S OFFICE
George finally makes it to the office, he is tried but ready for face off. Kimmie is in there as well.
INT. MARTY’S OFFICE
Marty is standing behind his desk holding Kimmie by her arm holding a gun to her head.
-
George Tedino
Beat Sheet
What I learned doing this assignment
a bit of a different perspective of looking at structures
I understand the rules
Acts and transformation events
Act 1
EXT. BUILDING – NIGHT
Tall building on the waterfront as a man named GEORGE leaps out of a window.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
A high school with lockers outside, many kids walking around. George is standing at his locker talking to a girl in his class when her boyfriend a football player and bully ADAM comes over to stop George from talking to her.
EXT. SURBAN STREET – DAY
George walking home with Kimmie and John when a car driven by Adam with a few of his teammates stop and go to harass George but more something is about to go down.
Act 2
INT. SCHOOL CLASSROOM
George in a classroom with a MONK teacher. There is a bunch of stuff written on the board as George is sitting cross criss applesauce on the floor with his eyes closed looking like he is mediating.
EXT. STARBUCKS – DAY
George reunites with John and Kimmie, they are exchanging hugs as they are about to sit down.
INT. COLLEGE CLASSROOM
George is sitting down when a young woman named SARA walks to his row and she trips and falls into him. They share a smile and a laugh.
Act 3
EXT. OUTSIDE RESTURANT – NIGHT
Two thugs run up on George and Sara to try and rob them.
INT. GRANDPARENTS HOUSE
George is surrounded by Marty and his forces, Marty is trying to negotiating with George to join him and stop running.
INT. GEORGE”S BEDROOM
George is sitting tied up to a chair bleeding when he looks over and sees Sara on the bed tied down crying and screaming gagged. He is concerned and tries to move but is met with a punch, she screams more and is slapped. George screams.
Act 4
INT. CHAMBER ROOM
George getting out of his chamber and John is there. George begins to get dressed as they discuss what the plan is
EXT. LARGE BUILDING – NIGHT
George and John start to go toward the building Marty Kimmie and forces are inside waiting for them.
EXT. MARTY’S OFFICE
George finally makes it to the office, he is tired but ready for his face off. Kimmie is in there as well. Confrontation begins.
-
George Tedino
Transfromational Events
What I learned from this assignment
That I have to be better at outlining. I have always had a beginning and end to my stories and as I write I filled in the blanks going though my ideas for scenes and dialogue trying to link them as best I could.
Character arc
From an innocent kid with gifts he didn’t understand, to being on the run from a group that wanted him for his gifts. To hiding and figuring out his gifts to wanting to try to live a normal life. To reluctant killer and redeemer.
Old ways
Young and innocent
trying to find answers about his past and himself
running and hiding from people who want him for their purposes
New ways
Still young but more understanding of things
Trying to fit in to society off the radar of the group
Being the one stalking the group after all the horrific things they had done to him
Steps
In the beginning a boy growing up with little to know friends
His parents are killed trying to protect him
He is hidden away by his grandparents
There is an incident that occurs that puts him on the run and into hiding
He goes looking for answers about his parents and his gifts while getting help understanding his gifts
He wants to fit into the real world still having only 2 friends when he meets a woman that he eventually gets to fall in love with him
An incident then occurs later on that puts him back on the groups radar as they hunt for him
they track him down make him an offer to join them he refuses
his refusal is meet with dire consequences
he goes on the hunt for them as they think he is dead he now wants his revenge reluctantly having to do what he had to do with his powers to get that revenge
ACTS
First act is he is a youth having known his parents were killed by villains and living with his grandparents. Then to a horrible incident that he now goes on the run from the villains.
Second act coming to terms with his gifts and trying to get all the answers about the villains and how to grow up at the same time and transition back into a world he wants to fit into
Third act as he tries to fit into the world he meets a woman and they fall in love. An incident occurs a year into his relationship that tests both of them and puts him back on the radar of the villains. An ultimatum puts him in jeopardy and ultimate his refusal cost him everything
Final act he was left for dead and thought to be dead as he plots his revenge and once he has enough intel he enlist some help to meet the objective. A Betrayal is also revealed. In the end he gets his revenge and finally
-
George Tedino
4 Act Transformational Structure
What I learned from this assignment
that having and opening and ending is great but really knowing how to get there is also important.
Giving the following
Concept: A innocent orphan with special gifts goes from hunted to hunter as he navigates the world at large, finding out about himself along the way.
Main Conflict: George has been hunted for his gifts and Marty has killed everyone knows and love which leads to the ultimate showdown.
Old Ways: George starting out as a young kid trying to learn about his powers and seeking answers to his past, while trying to fit in being different.
New ways: George becomes a wiser still young man who determined to bring an end to Mary and fighters to bring him peace.
Act 1
Opening: George crashing through a window falling to possibly his death. Flashbacks begin to tell his story as it was told to him.
Inciting Incident: during flashback we see his parents killed and then the other incident with bullies at school
Turning Point: George now is on the run from Marty and his forces but George ultimately disappears and starts to learn his powers.
Act 2
New plan: George while still in hiding wants to try in fit in to the world.
Plan in action: George while trying to do normal adultish things meet his Lover Sara.
Midpoint Turning Point: As he gets closer to Sara he begins to get sloppy and becomes back on Marty’s rader.
Act 3
Rethinking Everything: George still looking over his shoulder really wants to be left alone. He is confronted by Marty to join him. He ultimately turns it down.
New Plan: George must now protect not only himself but Sara too.
Turning Point: George eventually can’t protect Sara and now George is now on a mission to take revenge on Marty.
Act 4
Climax: George and friend John enlist help to get George to have a one on one encounter with Marty
Resolution: George is finally at peace and now can live without looking over his shoulder and maybe use his powers for good.
-
George Tedino
Character Interviews
What did I learn about this assignment?
a little of what makes my characters tick.
Interview with George (protagonist)
Tell me about yourself
I am a young man trying to make a difference now in the world. I went searching for my past and I learned I had to grow and learn on the fly. Now just trying to live out my days maybe helping people after the hunt is over.
Why do you think you were called to this journey?
Just bad luck I guess ( laughing)
You are up against Marty and his army What is is about them that makes this journey even more difficult for you?
Well when I was younger running from this guys was no fun. I learned more about my powers and still getting to Marty is difficult.
In order to survive or accomplish this, you are going to have to step way outside of your box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them will be the most difficult?
Oh I will accomplish my journey not to worry.
What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let go off?
not sure right now I have ways of thinking and once my mission is over then it will be easier to answer.
What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back?
Wounds are what actually driving me. I have many insecurities but I am learning to live with them. My fear is not finishing my mission.
What skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this conflict?
my gifts, my passion. I have learned to control my gifts now I think I can finish my mission without fear of death.
What are you hiding from the other characters? What don’t you want them to know?
nothing to hide I hide for to long.
What do you think of Marty?
nothing comes to mind except dead man walking.
Tell me your side of this whole conflict or mission as you say?
Basically I found out that Marty killed my parents my grandparents and my lover so I will have my revenge.
What does it do for your life if you succeed here?
I would have closure and I can live a free man without having to look over my shoulders.
Interview with Marty (antagonist)
Tell me about yourself
I man who wants to make the world a safer place.
Having to do with this journey, what are your strengths and weaknesses?
My strength is in numbers I have a great team of hunters. No weaknesses no time for weak
Why are you committed to making George fail?
I don’t want him to fail I want him to join me and my team. He made this personal and I get it I may have killed his parents and others but he should be with us from the beginning.
What do you get out of winning this fight?
If I win I get nothing out of this I never wanted a conflict but it is on him.
What drives you toward your agenda even in the possibly facing death?
Kill or be killed
What secrets must you keep to succeed? What other secrets do you keep?
no secrets here.
Compared to other people like you, what makes you special?
the courage of my conviction to making this world a safer place and I will do what ever it takes
What do you think of George?
Misguided I would have liked him to join me
-
George Tedino
Character Profiles Part 1
What I learned doing this assignment?
How many characters I needed where they fit in the general roles and how they will affect everyone else in the story.
The role of the Protagonist (George) plays is
Reluctant hero, fighter. He didn’t chose to be this way he was put into this role from the antagonist.
The role of the Antagonist (Marty) and (Adam) plays is
villain Marty Stone is the government agent who killed George’s family and lover. Adam Henderson was just a bully who picked on him because he was different.
Other Characters
Love interest: Sara Williams
Best Friends: Kimmy Wilder, John Sinclair
Minor roles: George’s Grandparents Bill and Emma St. John, Sara’s parents Bob and Colleen Williams. Adam’s 5 Football teammates. Liz Clark Adam’s Girlfriend. A bunch of special forces guys that are employeed by Marty. High School Gym Teacher. Two Thugs
Background: High school and college kids Professor from the classroom where Sara and George meet.
My Genre is
sci fi thriller
George St. John Profile
Role: Main Character
Age: infant to 14 to his 20’s the bulk of his description in the movie is 20’s black hair, wears special glasses, athletic build.
Internal journey: from orphan with special gifts to understanding those gifts while trying to find out the truth about his powers and his past.
External Journey: From being a kid looking for answers to everything about himself to the answer to bring justice to those who need to held accountable for killing his parents and others.
Motivation: to figure out his gift and his past
Wound: Everyone who he knew and loved or who did love him is dead
Mission: To bring to justice and resolve everything about his past and the person responsible for killing his family and lover
Secret: What is under his glasses
Special: His gifts
-
I George Tedino agree to terms of the Group Release Form
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
-
George Tedino Transformational Journey
The 30 day Screenplay
lesson 1
What I learned from doing this assignment?
That there is more to a character then just giving a name and traits and a voice more so giving them a reason for people to care about them in the story.
Who is the hero, and what is character arc?
George St. John a young man, who has special abilities. From orphan looking for answers as to why he is the way he is and who killed his parents to become the hunted by the ones who killed his parents to becoming the hunter and understanding his abilities to bring his parents killer to a rightful end.
Internal Journey
from an orphan, not fully aware of his gifts and how they effect people. To trying to get answers about his past, to becoming fully embracing of his gifts while finding his answers that he seeks.
External Journey
finding his answers he realizes that while he is being hunted for his gifts, he becomes the hunter to finish the journey of revenge on those who needed to be held accountable for their actions.
Old Ways
Young and innocent
Unaware of his gifts
Being haunted by answers
Being hunted for his powers
New Ways
Still young but Powerful
Accepting of his gifts
Not being haunted
Becoming the hunter
-
HI everyone I am George Tedino I have written a few scripts more like drafts. What I want to get out of this is to be a better writer. My family and friends tell me I can tell a story, however the idea to paper part is a mess. So just to get better and maybe move from draft status writing to maybe sell one or maybe work with others to get one to sell. Unique about me lol um I am part time ghost hunter and i have seen and rated over 18000 movies yup crazy but I love movies.