[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Romance Emotions Part 2
What I learned doing this lesson is I need more time to focus and concentrate on what the underlying story is – what is the inner journey of each character?

Betrayal – At the Midpoint: Casey sees Huck is trying to steal her satchel and he confesses his part in the theft of the artifact and he is only with her to get it back.

Anger – Casey is angry about the betrayal and decides to walk away from the whole predicament by seeking help and reporting it all to Interpol.

Passion – At the end of Act 2: After realizing the Interpol agent is one of the thieves, Casey sees how Huck was trying to protect her and goes to find him. They declare their attraction with a night a romance in Vienna.

Obsession – Through Act 2: Huck is obsessed with finding the artifact and will do anything to locate it, including betraying his partners and lying to Casey with whom he is falling in love.

Love – In Act 3: Casey leaves her fiancé and risks her life to help Huck find the real artifact. They are captured and locked in a tomb where they vow to either escape together or die together.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Romance Emotions Part 1

What I learned doing this assignment is I need to develop a more consistent emotional throughline so the characters’ feelings are grounded and not scattered with many base threads that can be woven into the action plot.

Look through your outline and find places you can build these emotions in scenes:
Attraction – In the middle of an attempted kidnapping, Huck rescues Casey and throws her off a train before jumping himself. She thinks he is a random stranger doing a good deed and he finds her cute and plucky.

– On the train each is impressed with the other’s skills at fighting to save their lives and have the strength to jump off the train.

Desire – Realizing they have survived they need to find a way to civilization and bond over the bravery and quick-thinking of their escape.

– Casey introduces herself and Huck tells her he is Huck Hawkins (which is the name of the character she created in her comic). He doesn’t know she is the author, and she is attracted because she thinks he is a fan and recognizes her name. When he sees her name on the comic and makes the connection, he is embarrassed and is attracted to her.

Yearning – She yearns to be with a man who can teach her how to be adventurous and he yearns for a clever woman who is not a criminal, but she is engaged, and he is a fugitive

– After a long hike up the mountain, Casey and Huck talk about their respective relationships and how getting into this adventure has put them off their paths. They consider where they would be right now if they were not where they are.

Doubt – She leads them down a dangerous path and they are in lost, and she learns he is a fugitive who has been lying to her so doubts everything he has said to her, and he sees her as pretentious and obnoxious.

– They are almost caught by the people trying to kill them who want the MacGuffin and hide in an abandoned church where Casey learns Huck is a fugitive who has no idea who she is and only wanted the artifact. He does not admit he has feelings for her.

Jealousy – Huck is jealous of the fiancé for being successful and able to settle down. Casey is jealous of Huck’s ex-partner for being a powerful, badass who doesn’t ask for permission.

– Casey gets sassy when she meets the ex who takes her hostage. Huck gets snappy when Casey wants to introduce him to her fiancé. Huck walks away and puts down the fact that her fiancé dropped everything to fly across the world to find her.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Comedy Situations
What I learned doing this assignment is that I have no solid throughline. My ideas are all over the place and I need to get organized for a linear progression.

• 1. Misinterpretation
The German Contact misinterprets a phrase Casey says as translating to the code phrase so gives her the package. The situation is worse because Casey doesn’t speak German so many false interpretations could lead to someone calling the police.

• 2. Comedic Surprise
The PR lady is focused on getting Casey out of danger and to the next scheduled book signing until the end where she uses tiny tools to help Casey escape because who cares about getting to the next event?

• 3. Wildly Inappropriate Response
Still working on what she says, but the PR speaking to the Interpol agent will say something inappropriate.

• 4. Forced union of incompatibles
Casey and Huck incompatible, now off the train must cross the mountains on foot.

• 5. Embarrassment
Plenty of embarrassment crossing the mountains with mountain goats and rams chasing them into a comprising position.

• 6. Comedic tragedy
Huck and Casey are buried alive and discuss their appearance or how Huck’s ex looked just then when she was shooting. He thinks she may still love him.

[Gayle Jackson]

Lesson 6: Gayle’s Plot
What I learned doing this assignment is that I have most of the elements in place, I need the confidence to know that it will work out as I want it to.

STEP 1
Act 1:
Opening- Casey is a comic book author in a loveless engagement who yearns for the same adventure she creates for her characters, especially her #1 creation Huckleberry Hawkins
Inciting Incident – In Istanbul, Casey goes to pick up a gift for her fiancé and is given the wrong package by mistake.
Turning Point – Mercenaries try to kill her to get the package. Casey is saved when a mysterious man pushes her off a train and jumps with her.

Act 2:
New plan – Instead of traveling by train to Paris with her Publicist, Casey must walk through the mountains to Budapest with the stranger.
Plan in action – The mystery man claims the name of the comic book character Huck Hawkins unaware Casey is the author. She is suspicious.
Midpoint Turning Point – Mercenaries find them and try to kill both.

Act 3:
Rethink everything – Huck tells Casey the truth of his assignment, that he is being betrayed for the art treasure in the package. But the package only holds a clue, not the treasure.
New plan – Casey is out. They go their separate ways. Her fiancé flies to Europe to rescue her.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – Casey goes to the embassy where the Interpol agents betray her. Her PR person provides cover for her to escape the embassy and the fiancé to find Huck.

Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Casey and Huck rejoin and find the treasure. They are caught and escape certain death like in her comic.
Resolution – They return the treasure to its home country. Huck goes into hiding. 6 months later she is solo and finds him leading an adventure tour and hires him. They kiss.

STEP 2. Into that structure, fill in the 7 Stages of Love.
The 7 Stages of Love:
• 1. Meet-Cute
A comic book creator meets a man who acts like her hero when her makes her jump off a moving train with him to save both their lives from assassins hired to kill them.

• 2. Attraction/Flirting
They must travel through eastern European mountains to Budapest – stuck in a goat lodge when they talk about adventure and sleep beside each other. Casey realizes he doesn’t know who she is.

• 3. Denial
Casey realizes Huck is one of the smugglers who is only with her for the package and he still won’t say his real name when she tells him she created the character he admires.

• 4. Separation/Forced Together
After escaping hitmen, Casey’s fiancé and PR rep arrange for her to get to the embassy. Huck goes on his own to find the real artifact. Huck is lured back into the group but cannot re-commit to his ex-partner sexually

• 5. Working through Issues/Differences
Casey realizes agents are corrupt and want the package. She knows Huck is in danger and chooses to rescue him.
Huck thinks he knows where the package is but doesn’t tell his partner the truth.

• 6. Hate/Betrayal/All Hope is Lost
Casey and Huck meet at the location to find the artifact and are followed then left for dead. They must work together to get out. Huck is shot and left in the hospital as Casey is supposed to leave with her fiancé and PR rep.

• 7. Love Happens
6 months later – Huck has left the business and works as an adventure guide. Casey shows up solo and wants a new adventure.

STEP 3. Into that, fill in Her Journey / His Journey.
CASEY TURNER’S TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY:
• 1. Initial state:
Casey is a successful comic book author at a book conference in Istanbul lamenting how boring her personal life and relationship with her workaholic fiancé is.

• 2. Meet-Cute moment:
Assassins hired to get an artifact mistakenly handed to Casey at a market try to kill her on the Orient Express. Huck rescues her by pushing her off the train then jumping himself to escape the bullets.

• 3. Initial challenges:
Casey is engaged to be married and does not fully trust Huck since he has lied about his name and background. She does not believe Huck’s brash manners are appropriate and does not like how he took the name of her character and is not acting Huck-like.

• 4. Major conflict / Obstacle:
After a mad chase to the Romanian border, Casey decides to get help from the American Embassy, tell the truth, and return to her fiancé while Huck decides to find the artifact and negotiate for his life.

• 5. Self-Reflection:
Casey realizes she had more fun, interests and love for Huck and worries that she left him to finish the adventure on his own. She wrote the character to have a partner, and she can’t walk away from that. She ends her engagement.

• 6. Acceptance and Growth:
Casey finds Huck and together they find the artifact and have one last life-risking adventure.

• 7. Demonstrate the change:
Casey saves Huck when they are left in the crypt saying she will stay to help him because his life is worth saving.

• 8. Reunion:
After finishing her latest comic book about Huck and his partner working together, she goes on an adventure vacation and finds Huck is the tour guide. They are reunited and promise a life full of adventure.

HUCK HAWKINS’ TRANFORMATIONAL JOURNEY:
• 1. Initial state:
Huck Hawkins is a mercenary with his partner/lover hired to retrieve an artifact.

• 2. Meet-Cute moment:
Huck is double-crossed and learns Casey has the artifact by mistake. Huck saves her life by pushing her off the train and jumping to isolate her and find the artifact.

• 3. Initial challenges:
Huck is lying about who he is and why he is with Casey. She is uptight and scared and angry while he keeps the secret of what is really happening and why they are being chased.

• 4. Major conflict / Obstacle:
He is outdoorsy and a dreamer while she is sheltered and pragmatic. He needs to get the artifact but is not able to figure out the clues on his own. He needs her help, but only if he confesses the truth.

• 5. Self-Reflection:
When he tells her the truth, she panics and returns to her regular life by running to the embassy for help. He goes on his own and realizes he would rather be alone than be with the wrong partner.

• 6. Acceptance and Growth:
He realizes he needs Casey to find the artifact but doesn’t want to force her because it risks her life and he loves her, would never want to put her in danger.

• 7. Demonstrate the change:
When Casey comes to help, Huck tells her to go and not put herself in danger. She stays and they both almost die. He confesses his real name and why being the character means so much.

• 8. Reunion:
After escaping and recovering in the hospital, Huck takes a job as a solo adventure tour guide and Casey shows up for one of his tours. They embrace and promise to enjoy the next adventure together.

STEP 4: Fill in other scenes.
Scenes with Casey’s fiancé. She needs to lean on the idea of him as a tether to her past. He will fly to Europe to find her. Casey needs scenes with her PR rep who will be her contact to the world as she is lost in the mountains with Huck.
Huck scenes – needs a scene with his ex-lover/partner to set up the betrayal that will be the catalyst for his change from bad guy to good.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Her Journey/ His Journey
What I learned doing this assignment is I need more work on the inner journey and the sense of boredom that makes someone risk everything for a stranger.

CASEY TURNER’S TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY:
• 1. Initial state:
Casey is a successful comic book author at a book conference in Istanbul lamenting how boring her personal life and relationship with her workaholic fiancé is.

• 2. Meet-Cute moment:
Assassins hired to get an artifact mistakenly handed to Casey at a market try to kill her on the Orient Express. Huck rescues her by pushing her off the train then jumping himself to escape the bullets.

• 3. Initial challenges:
Casey is engaged to be married and does not fully trust Huck since he has lied about his name and background. She does not believe Huck’s brash manners are appropriate and does not like how he took the name of her character and is not acting Huck-like.

• 4. Major conflict / Obstacle:
After a mad chase to the Romanian border, Casey decides to get help from the American Embassy, tell the truth, and return to her fiancé while Huck decides to find the artifact and negotiate for his life.

• 5. Self-Reflection:
Casey realizes she had more fun, interests and love for Huck and worries that she left him to finish the adventure on his own. She wrote the character to have a partner, and she can’t walk away from that. She ends her engagement.

• 6. Acceptance and Growth:
Casey finds Huck and together they find the artifact and have one last life-risking adventure.

• 7. Demonstrate the change:
Casey saves Huck when they are left in the crypt saying she will stay to help him because his life is worth saving.

• 8. Reunion:
After finishing her latest comic book about Huck and his partner working together, she goes on an adventure vacation and finds Huck is the tour guide. They are reunited and promise a life full of adventure.

HUCK HAWKINS’ TRANFORMATIONAL JOURNEY:
• 1. Initial state:
Huck Hawkins is a mercenary with his partner/lover hired to retrieve an artifact.

• 2. Meet-Cute moment:
Huck is double-crossed and learns Casey has the artifact by mistake. Huck saves her life by pushing her off the train and jumping to isolate her and find the artifact.

• 3. Initial challenges:
Huck is lying about who he is and why he is with Casey. She is uptight and scared and angry while he keeps the secret of what is really happening and why they are being chased.

• 4. Major conflict / Obstacle:
He is outdoorsy and a dreamer while she is sheltered and pragmatic. He needs to get the artifact but is not able to figure out the clues on his own. He needs her help, but only if he confesses the truth.

• 5. Self-Reflection:
When he tells her the truth, she panics and returns to her regular life by running to the embassy for help. He goes on his own and realizes he would rather be alone than be with the wrong partner.

• 6. Acceptance and Growth:
He realizes he needs Casey to find the artifact but doesn’t want to force her because it risks her life and he loves her, would never want to put her in danger.

• 7. Demonstrate the change:
When Casey comes to help, Huck tells her to go and not put herself in danger. She stays and they both almost die. He confesses his real name and why being the character means so much.

• 8. Reunion:
After escaping and recovering in the hospital, Huck takes a job as a solo adventure tour guide and Casey shows up for one of his tours. They embrace and promise to enjoy the next adventure together.

[Gayle Jackson]

Subject line: Gayle’s 7 Stages of Love
What I learned doing this assignment is my second act falls apart. I have too much will they/won’t they and not enough time is devoted to setting up the issues they will have to work out in the Hate stage.

1. Create the 7 Stages of Love for your two lead characters.
The 7 Stages of Love:
• 1. Meet-Cute
A comic book creator meets a man who acts like her hero when her makes her jump off a moving train with him to save both their lives from assassins hired to kill them.

• 2. Attraction/Flirting
They must travel through eastern European mountains to Budapest – stuck in a goat lodge when they talk about adventure and sleep beside each other. Casey realizes he doesn’t know who she is.

• 3. Denial
Casey realizes Huck is one of the smugglers who is only with her for the package and he still won’t say his real name when she tells him she created the character he admires.

• 4. Separation/Forced Together
After escaping hitmen, Casey’s fiancé and PR rep arrange for her to get to the embassy. Huck goes on his own to find the real artifact. Huck is lured back into the group but cannot re-commit to his ex-partner sexually

• 5. Working through Issues/Differences
Casey realizes agents are corrupt and want the package. She knows Huck is in danger and chooses to rescue him.
Huck thinks he knows where the package is but doesn’t tell his partner the truth.

• 6. Hate/Betrayal/All Hope is Lost
Casey and Huck meet at the location to find the artifact and are followed then left for dead. They must work together to get out. Huck is shot and left in the hospital as Casey is supposed to leave with her fiancé and PR rep.

• 7. Love Happens
6 months later – Huck has left the business and works as an adventure guide. Casey shows up solo and wants a new adventure.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Bigger Story
What I learned doing this assignment is I have to keep it simple, simple, simple. The more I get plotted up, the less interesting it becomes.

1. Bigger world
A. What interesting world could this movie/show be set in?
• An American tourist and her tour group get caught in a revolutionary coup and she must step up with her tour guide to get everyone out safely.
• A shy American comic book author craves adventure is mistaken for a smuggler who realizes the mistake and chooses to help clear her name.
• An American mercenary is double-crossed on a deal and the only person he can trust is a tourist who lost her tour group.
• A groom is kidnapped at his destination wedding and his bride risks everything with the help of a mercenary to get him back only to discover her fiancé is in on a coup plot.
• A bride is jilted at the altar and takes a solo honeymoon only to be surprised when a fugitive surprises her by taking over the groom’s tickets.
B. What major conflict could be happening?
• An international coup in a country far from home.
• A case of mistaken identity puts the protagonist in danger out of her depth.
• A well-intentioned protagonist tries to help a mysterious stranger and gets caught up in something illegal and deadly.
• Trying to save a future spouse from mortal danger only to find yourself betrayed.
• Wanting to be alone, feeling betrayed by someone you love, only to be stuck with a stranger who has a history of betrayal.
C. What intriguing situation could these characters be engaged in?
• Action – trying to escape a dangerous country
• Adventure – lost in the remote areas of a foreign country
• Spy – trust and betrayal trying to complete an assignment
• Adventure – trust and betrayal trying to succeed in a quest
• Action – rising to the challenge of rescuing self and others

2. Turn that bigger story into a 3-Act or 4-Act structure.
Act 1:
Opening- Casey is a comic book author in a loveless engagement who yearns for the same adventure she creates for her characters, especially her #1 creation Huckleberry Hawkins
Inciting Incident – In Istanbul, Casey goes to pick up a gift for her fiancé and is given the wrong package by mistake.
Turning Point – Mercenaries try to kill her to get the package. Casey is saved when a mysterious man pushes her off a train and jumps with her.

Act 2:
New plan – Instead of traveling by train to Paris with her Publicist, Casey must walk through the mountains to Budapest with the stranger.
Plan in action – The mystery man claims the name of the comic book character Huck Hawkins unaware Casey is the author. She is suspicious.
Midpoint Turning Point – Mercenaries find them and try to kill both.

Act 3:
Rethink everything – Huck tells Casey the truth of his assignment, that he is being betrayed for the art treasure in the package. But the package only holds a clue, not the treasure.
New plan – Casey is out. They go their separate ways. Her fiancé flies to Europe to rescue her.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – Casey goes to the embassy where the Interpol agents betray her. Her PR person provides cover for her to escape the embassy and the fiancé to find Huck.

Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Casey and Huck rejoin and find the treasure. They are caught and escape certain death like in her comic.
Resolution – They return the treasure to its home country. Huck goes into hiding. 6 months later she is solo and finds him leading an adventure tour and hires him. They kiss.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle Jackson’s Rom Com Project
What I learned doing this assignment is I have to be careful not to be too much like the Bullock/Tatum film “The Lost City”

Lesson 2
• Who is She? Casey is a comic book series creator who wants to be safe and watch action from afar but is in immediate danger. She is a dynamic star in her work world but struggles to feel secure. She feels being on marriage and family track will make her happy and she wants to have one last adventure – interior conflict – she is unhappy and afraid to say so.

• Who is He? Huck is an affable mercenary looking for the great score to get him out of the game. He has a partner/love interest who controls him and he is tired of being her punching bag. He has a gentle nature in a cruel business and seeks the comfort and safety of an honest relationship but has a danger chip in his DNA that makes him constantly run into risky situations.

• What makes them lovable? They have a cute banter where they don’t take crap from each other and can tease while being supportive and are on the same page with fundamental goals of non-criminal adventures where they can team up.

• What attracts them to each other? Other than physical, they both like to tease with love. She writes comic books, he reads them. She seeks adventure, he lives it. They both love to travel, and he is a natural mentor to bring her out of her shell through adventure while she supports his desire to find someone to love who is kind and trustworthy by showing him that women can be that.

• What needs does each fulfill for the other? He gives her wish fulfillment and courage. She gives him nurturing and support for pursuing a gentler life.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle Jackson’s Rom Com Project
What I learned doing this assignment is I have a complicated plot, and I need to re-focus on the emotional component.

The Adventures of Huckleberry Hawkins

• Two People Who Belong Together: Casey is a comic book creator who desires to be with the kind of reckless, adventurous, dangerous hero she created in her popular series. Huck (not his real name) is a mercenary who had been betrayed once too often and longs to leave the criminal element of his life behind for an honest relationship with someone he can trust.

• How Are They Separated: Casey is mistaken for an art smuggler and Huck is on the side hired to kill her for the artifact

• What Forces Them together: On the run through Europe, Huck’s contacts betray him and try to kill them both

• Issues to be Resolved: Huck has killed for his employers while Casey is a dreamer afraid of dying from living on the edge.

• On Their Journey of Love: Being pursued by ruthless killers in the mountains of Eastern Europe

• Experience of Falling In Love: It’s an adventure with a search for truth and a real artifact to crystallize the relationship

• The Journey of Love: Meet-cute by mistaken identity, Casey falls for the mystery man pretending to help her, hates him when she learns to truth, they bond when they must survive and join forces to find the McGuffin.

• Relationship Set-up: Huck is hired to receive a briefcase from an American woman, but a shopkeeper gives Casey the briefcase by mistake and an unknown player tries to kill her. Huck pushes her off a train to save both their lives and they start their journey together.

• Issues each must Resolve: Huck is not truthful. They are both in danger.

• Separation: Casey can’t trust him and leaves him to find the American Embassy.

• How will Comedy be Expressed: Misconceptions of who each are. Casey is more capable that Huck thinks. Huck is more intelligent and kinder than Casey thinks.

[Gayle Jackson]

I, Gayle Jackson, agree to the terms of this group release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Gayle Jackson]

Hello,
My name is Gayle and I’ve written many pilots and features over the last 25 years. I had some foot in the door opportunities as a staff writer, but fell through the cracks. I am having trouble with a Romantic Comedy I’ve been working on and hope this class will shake some of the cobwebs to help me get it moving again. Looking forward to reaching out to all of you.

[Gayle Jackson]

Thanks so much for giving us all a great new way to work on our drafts. I found it very helpful and stimulating. Looking forward to seeing these projects move forward. Take care everyone and best of luck.

Gayle Jackson

gaylej1@aol.com

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Chronological Edit

What I learned doing this assignment is to just shut up and write. Thinking too much is death to a first draft and although the specific details of the techno-jargon that improves the logic and intelligence can be a placeholder until the next draft or after consulting a professional in that field.

The main improvements I made in the script are to simplify the story and make sure there are no repeated beats or dialogue. I tend to go off on tangents and I used this time to keep the story on track.

I also found it easier to work in sequences, making sure the flow, clarity, description and dialogue worked in each of 7-8 sequences before I moved on to the next one.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle Solved Scene Problems

What I learned doing this assignment is that I consider this still a pre-draft, not even a 1^st draft let alone 2^nd and should identify the scene flow and anything that stops the momentum should be re-done before sitting down to just write it out.

SCENE PROBLEMS

A) Basic Scene Problems
B) Weak Scenes
C) Situations Don’t Challenge
Characters
D) Cliché Scenes

Deleted scenes that interrupted the story flow.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Solved Character Problems

What I learned doing this assignment is the character’s journey should reflect their plot journey. A coward becomes a hero so the final battle must reflect his ability to wield the sword emotionally as well as physically.

IMPROVEMENTS

–Caroline moves from hopeless romantic set on creating a fantasy marriage and reunion for Rick and Sam to being a realist, modern-thinking nanny who sees the need for Sam to have her own life and career as well as raising children. – I need to create more of a Victorian attitude for her early on so her need to meddle in the relationship is more justifiable.

–Samantha is tricky because she needs to show the divorce is a last ditch effort to find and express her own needs and goals. She is trying to escape Rick’s oppressive ego but she still loves him. I need her journey to be more nuanced.

–I don’t mind Rick being more cut and dry about his ego. He needs the fame and fortune to hide his insecurity and fear that Sam is too good for him. He constantly steps on her contributions to the team in order to distract her from figuring out he is too afraid of not being able to be her equal and she will leave him and/or have children with someone better.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle Solved Structural Problems

What I learned doing this assignment is to look at the major events, question their purpose, direction and authenticity then add scenes to connect them emotionally for a solid draft.

ACT 1

Opening – Rick is desperate for regain the fame he and Sam had from their ghost busting experiences.

Opening/Old Ways: Is this an engaging opening scene that lures us into the story? YES

Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode? YES

Do the “Old Ways” show up in their behavior and dialogue? YES – RICK IS A MISOGYNISTIC SHOWBOAT CONSTANTLY TALKING OVER HIS WIFE.

Inciting Incident – They are offered a reality show, but Samantha is set on having a baby and does not want to be in the spotlight.

Inciting Incident: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey? CONFLICT BETWEEN THE LEAD COUPLE SETS THEM ON A COLLISION WITH THE GHOSTS AND THEIR INDIVIDUAL JOURNEYS TO CHANGE.

Turning Point – Rick ignores Samantha and announces the show and she announces she wants a divorce. The ghosts who live in their house take notice.

Turning Point: How is this Turning Point a twist that locks us into the journey with “no going back?” THE GHOSTS MAKE THEIR PRESENCE KNOWN BY TRYING TO SCARE SAMANTHA AND HAUNTING THE HOUSE TO BRING THEM BACK TOGETHER.

ACT 2

New plan – Caroline and the ghosts decide to scare Samantha into remembering how successful and in love she and Rick were when they were ghost-busting

New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point? CAROLINE LEARNS SAMANTHA IS SELLING THE HOUSE AND DECIDES TO HELP SAMANTHA REMEMBER SHE HAS A HAPPY LIFE IN THE HOUSE

Plan in action – Caroline stages paranormal experiences in the house.

Plan in action: How does the protagonist take action on that plan? AS CAROLINE AND THE GHOSTS ARE MAKING THINGS HAPPEN, RICK IS TRYING TO WIN SAM BACK IN ORDER TO PROMOTE A REALITY SHOW AND SAM IS TRYING TO GET INFO ON ADOPTION AND PLANNING TO SPEND THE MONEY SHE MAKES ON SELLING THE HOUSE – SO THE GHOSTS SABOTAGE REPAIRS TO DRIVE UP THE HOME IMPROVEMENT BILLS

MP Turn – <s>Two ghosts take over Rick and Sam’s bodies to have sex</s>

Midpoint Turning Point: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey? ORIGINAL FEELS OOKIE SO

NEW MP TURN – RICK COMES OVER TO DISCUSS REPAIR BILLS AND REALITY SHOW AND ADOPTION BUT WIND UP GETTING DRUNK AND HAVING SEX.

MEANING OF THE DIVORCE CHANGES BECAUSE THEY STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER – WITH LOVE THERE IS HOPE.

ACT 3

Rethink everything – Rick tries to convince Sam to reconsider but she decides to sell the house. Caroline needs to ramp up and turn Rick into Sam’s hero.

React/Rethink: What is revealed to the protagonist from the Midpoint? How do they react or rethink things? RICK LEARNS SAM IS TIRED OF NOT BEING AN EQUAL PARTNER AND HAVING HER NEEDS PUSHED BACK FOR HIS EGO – HE BEGINS TO SEE HOW HE HURT HER. SAM BEGINS TO SEE HIS NEED FOR SUCCESS IS FUELED BY HIS LACK OF CONFIDENCE TO BE AS GOOD AT THE JOB AS SHE IS.

SEVERAL OF THE EVENTS HAPPEN DURING EMOTIONAL CONVERSATIONS SO SAM IS AWARE OF CAROLINE STAGING THE EVENTS.

New plan – Caroline locks Sam somewhere within the ether of the house – Rick can only hear her. As Sam is locked away she and Rick have a long heart-to-heart that leads to their reunion.

New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict? AFTER SAM CONFRONTS CAROLINE, THE GHOSTS DECIDE TO HIDE THE QUIT CLAIM DEED WHICH WILL PREVENT HER SELLING THE HOUSE SINCE SHE NEEDS RICK’S SIGN OFF.

CAROLINE ALSO HAS HER O.G. PLAN TO MAKE RICK SEEM LIKE A HERO

SO SHE DECIDES TO TAKE A RISK AND BRING THEM TOGETHER FOR A HERO’S RESCUE DAMSEL EVENT LIKE IN HER GOTHIC NOVELS SHE LOVES.

TP All is lost/Major shift – Rick needs his farsi-speaking agent to translate the passage to release Sam, but it also releases a Djinn who inhabits the agent’s body and tries to kill Rick who is saved by Sam.

Turning Point: The lowest of the low. How has this Turning Point brought the character to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way? This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way. RICK CANNOT FIGURE OUT HOW TO RESCUE SAM AFTER CAROLINE’S PLAN ACCIDENTALLY WORKS AND TRAPS SAM IN A LIMBO THAT CAROLINE HAS NO KEY TO UNLOCK.

ACT 4

Climax/Ultimate expression of conflict – Rick leads the exorcism of the djinn from the agent

Dilemma: What emotional dilemma requires the protagonist to choose between two alternatives, losing something with either choice? AFTER RICK AND SAM SPEND THE DAY DISCUSSING HOW TO GET HER OUT, THEIR TRUE FEELINGS COME OUT.

THE EMOTIONAL DILEMMA IS WHETHER TO CONTINUE WITH THE DIVORCE. EITHER OPTION IS UNACCEPTABLE BECAUSE STAY TOGETHER WITHOUT CHANGE OR BREAK UP WITHOUT HOPE.

ALSO… RESCUE – EITHER LEAVE HER UNTIL HE FINDS A SOLUTION/SHE COULD DIE OR TRY THIS NEW PLAN WHICH COULD BURN DOWN THE HOUSE AND KILL EVERYONE ANYWAY.

Climax/Ultimate Expression Of The Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a “fight to the death,” either literally or symbolically? THE TAKE THE RISK OF DESTROYING THE HOUSE WHICH WORKS IN UNLOCKING LIMBO, BUT ALSO UNLOCKS THE DJINN WHO POSSESSES JOSIE AND TRIES TO KILL EVERYONE.

Resolution – Rick and Sam work with the ghosts to destroy the djinn forever. Rick and Sam want to stay in their home together and write another book while having a baby.

Resolution: How does this resolution represent the “New Ways” and bring this story to a fitting conclusion? RICK, SAM AND THE GHOSTS WORK TOGETHER WHERE RICK LETS SAM TAKE THE LEAD AND HE REVERSES THE OPENING MOMENT BY DOING THE RITE THAT SAM DID EARLIER WHICH GIVES HIM CONFIDENCE. THEY ACCEPT THE NEED TO TAKE A BREAK, HEAL, WRITE A NEW BOOK AND HAVE A BABY. SO RICK STEPS BACK, COMPLETING HIS ARC.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle Filled in Missing Scenes!

What I learned doing this assignment is that I have a long, long way to go before I can consider these loosely connected scenes are true first draft. What I have here is a guide or a framework and I’m okay with that.

SCENE THAT SHOWS COWBOY AND NURSE ARE FALLING IN LOVE

INT. BASEMENT STUDIO – NIGHT

Cowboy and Nurse subtly inch closer as they speak on the settee

COWBOY: I’d never been out of Texas before – shoot, indoor plumbing alone blew my mind clean out. (curses) Excuse me, Ma’am.

NURSE: That’s all right, I was in Vietnam where most people I me spoke French.

COWBOY: You know, after Rick and Miz Coffey kicked me out of the Alamo I was ready to go into the light. I hear tell it’s like a streak of lightning that hits you all of a sudden-like and a feeling of… I don’t know, this just joy like (give a great analogy that a cowboy would give of sheer bliss)

NURSE: Euphoria.

COWBOY: That’s..

NURSE: (Defines euphoria)

COWBOY: That’s it. How’s it called?

NURSE: Euphoria.

COWBOY: Euphoria. We go to euphoria when that final light hits us and all this – spirit, soul

NURSE: Conscious mind.

COWBOY: It takes us to heaven.

I added this scene because… it will give emotional heft to Cowboy’s death in Act 4

SCENE THAT SHOWS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE QUIT CLAIM DEED

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Samantha and her ATTORNEY having coffee and reviewing the papers they need to file.

SAMANTHA: What’s this?

ATTORNEY: A Quit Claim. Have Rick sign that so you can sell the house.

SAMANTHA: Sell the house?

The faucet MOANS (suggests Caroline)

ATTORNEY: You can sell the family home and split the proceeds or if you choose to live here you will need to remove your husband from the deed. A Quit Claim is the cleanest way to get that done.

SAMANTHA: I don’t think Rick wants to sell. We did the remodel ourselves when we were first married.

ATTORNEY: Then you can sign it over to him and find a new place. Might be better for you if you really want a fresh start. Especially if you’re planning to raise a child. This drafty gothic manor is better suited for a horror movie, not happy families.

Caroline flashes in turning the faucet on.

Samantha goes to the sink to turn off the water.

ATTORNEY: And with the plumbing acting up like this – you don’t need this burden.

SAMANTHA: I hadn’t thought about moving. This house has meant a lot to us. It’s where we first met.

I added this scene because… Samantha needs something that formalizes the separation in her mind and a solid reason for the ghosts to fear the divorce as a loss of their home as well as provided Rick the realization that divorce is coming and he needs to change his game.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Act 4 Resolution

What I learned doing this assignment is that I need to focus. While I actual like the 20% method and I will use it to fill in and rewrite this script, I need to simply sit and write with a passion and instinct.

Outline Key Scene 4

BEGINNING – Rick and Samantha have called off their divorce

MIDDLE – They are writing a book about their experience

END – Samantha is pregnant and Caroline is her visible future nanny as the other ghosts have free reign of the house and interactions

Write Key Scene 4

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

As the dawn break and rays of sunlight poke through the holes of the broken roof and walls.

Caroline and the ghosts survey the damage.

RICK: Do you still have that deed? I’ll sign it. But, if you are open to stopping the divorce—

SAMANTHA: Stop—

RICK: Yes.

SAMANTHA: No, I mean stop talking.

RICK: I want to give you what you want. If that means letting you go… to win you back—

Samantha surprises him with a kiss.

RICK: Does this mean the divorce is off?

SAMANTHA: Don’t you ever listen?

Josie rouses and realizes the Nurse helping her is a real live honest to goodness ghost.

JOSIE: Ack! You’re real. I mean you’re not, but you are.

CAROLINE: What did you think Rick and Samantha were doing all these years?

JOSIE: I mean I knew, but I didn’t think you’d be so human.

NURSE: Lie back, you may have a concussion.

SAMANTHA: No, she always talks like that.

JOSIE: I just had the most deliciously brilliant idea – this is your next book. How the ghosts fought to protect their home when you wanted to sell it from them.

CAROLINE: Oh, I like that.

SAMANTHA: But that’s not what happened.

JOSIE: Literary license. We can work out the story later, but what do you think? Your next big success – I have to start making calls.

SAMANTHA: Josie, wait.

RICK: Let her go. We have some decisions to make.

SAMANTHA: I don’t want to go back to the way it was, Rick.

RICK: Decisions like what color to paint the nursery.

SAMANTHA: Oh, baby.

They kiss again.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Act 4 Climax

What I learned doing this assignment is cleaner is clearer and more efficient – the first draft is a sort of 20% pre-draft mixing treatment, outline and draft and it helps to write it to get a true idea of who the characters are and what their arcs will be. This quickie helped me see what isn’t working and not making sense, too.

Outline Key Scene 3 – Climax

BEGINNING – Rick and Samantha perform the same rite as in the opening scene

MIDDLE – The Djinn leaves Josie but instead of being trapped in a vessel – Rick does one spell as Sam does another and the portal opens at the right time striking the Djinn’s essence and shattering it into particles

END – the Cowboy’s essence has an ethereal vessel which captures the particles and takes it into the light.

Write Key Scene 3

RICK: We need a vessel.

SAMANTHA: Where’s the phone?

RICK: I don’t know. Let’s use this?

CAROLINE: What if it shatters. That thing’s too strong.

SAMANTHA: I have an idea. Rick, do you still have the original {LATIN FOR OPENING PORTAL}?

RICK: Here.

SAMANTHA: Say it.

RICK: (SAME RITE AS OPENED PORTAL)

SAMANTHA: (RITE THAT RELEASED DJINN)

The Djinn leaves Josie.

CAROLINE: It’s working.

NURSE: Keep going, I can see it.

When Josie is free the Nurse goes to see if she’s okay.

Rick and Samantha working together to move the Djinn into the shaft and lightning that shattered the Cowboy until it does.

As Rick and Samantha collapse – spent.

SAMANTHA: Wait. Look.

The Cowboy’s essence comes down to collect the evil black particles and takes them into the shaft of light.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Act 4 First Scenes

What I learned doing this assignment is that I have a tendency to overcomplicate things and I should simply outline the major events with the beginning – middle – end then write the scenes then do the same with the connective tissue scenes.

Outline Key Scenes 1 & 2

3^rd Act TP – Josie walks out with the Djinn taking over her body

Dilemma – How to get Josie back and save her, themselves and the world

Reaction – Rick goes to their original book and reads the incantation that summoned the Djinn to them

Write Key Scene 1: Reaction to Act 3 TP

INT. LIVING ROOM

Rick and Samantha gather everyone to make sure they’re all right then lament how to get the Djinn without killing Josie.

CAROLINE: It’s going to kill us all.

SAMANTHA: We’ll bring it back.

NURSE: What about your friend? Is she… dead?

SAMANTHA: I don’t think so. When we captured it, it was inhabiting an 8 year old girl. She killed several people at her school under his possession, but when we found her, she was playing jacks – something she did every day.

CAROLINE: Maybe that’s how we find her. What’s something your friend does every day?

Samantha recalls how the Djinn killed several people in his way when he was taking over the little girl’s body.

Rick remembers it was in the movie.

RICK: Not jacks. Hopscotch.

SAMANTHA: No I remember, she was teaching the Djinn jacks. It was changed to hopscotch in the movie.

NURSE: It’s not the time to congratulate yourself, Rick. Cowboy is dead. Your friend is in danger.

RICK: The movie. Was based on the book. Your story, Sam.

He runs out. Where’s he going?

Write Key Scene 2: Protagonist faces their dilemma

INT. BASEMENT OFFICE

Rick searches through Sam’s original manuscript and tosses papers all around. Until he finds the right chapter.

SAMANTHA: What are you doing?

RICK: Your original manuscript. You wrote out the entire sequence verbatim

SAMANTHA: I did?

RICK: And you know what else you did?

SAMANTHA: Is it good?

RICK: You recorded it.

Suddenly, Samantha’s eyes bulge as if recollecting an amazing memory.

SAMANTHA: I recorded it. Because I record everything!

She unlocks a file drawer and pulls out a video tape with DJINN and the date 10 years ago.

INT. FOYER

Rick, Samantha, Caroline, Nurse and the Twins gather for a formal ritual similar to the one in the opening scene. This time Rick does perform the rite by doing exactly as Samantha does in the original video.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Act 3 Turning Point

What I learned doing this assignment is the emotional low for the main character has to coincide with the low point in the story and the emotional high for the antagonist.

4. Protagonist faces their lowest low

BEGINNING: Josie fights both Rick and Samantha and sets a fire – Samantha puts it out as Josie about to kill and Rick knocks Josie down.

MIDDLE: The ghosts throw things at Josie and the Djinn opens a portal that strikes the Cowboy, turning him into particles – effectively killing him – sending his spirit up into the light

END: As the ghosts mourn and Rick and Samantha close the portal to prevent it from turning the other ghosts, Josie smiles and walks out.

INT. LIVING ROOM

Josie recites an incantation in Farsi.

NURSE: What’s happening?

A PORTAL opens and a ray of light descends into the room, sending light shafts like laser beams cutting down anything in its path.

RICK: What is she doing?

SAMANTHA: It’s not Josie anymore. The Djinn is in control.

RICK: Whatever it’s doing – I’m going to stop it.

SAMANTHA: Rick, no. We don’t know what it wants.

RICK: It wants us dead. Isn’t that obvious.

SAMANTHA: It can’t be that simple.

RICK: It is for me.

He takes the GUN.

SAMANTHA: You’ll kill Josie.

RICK: Let’s see if I can scare her into fighting back.

And as he aims at her back, she turns and one of those light shafts strikes – causing a fire to blow Rick backward.

COWBOY: I’ve had just about enough of this.

CAROLINE: This is no time to be a hero.

COWBOY: This is exactly the time.

NURSE: I believe in you.

The Cowboy uses all of his astral energy to summon Rick’s gun and is about to fire when – Josie summons another shaft of light that

STRIKES COWBOY – cutting him in half and disintegrating his sprit into particles, which ascend into the light.

NURSE: {Name!}

Caroline holds all the ghosts back.

Rick and Samantha put out the fire.

SAMANTHA: We have to close that portal before it kills us all.

RICK: Josie used the {NAME OF RITUAL}

SAMANTHA: Are you sure?

RICK: Yes.

Samantha smiles, seeing Rick’s new confidence doesn’t include the obnoxious bravado.

RICK: Hold on to something.

Samantha does as she’s told and Rick uses the ritual from the book to close the portal.

All is quiet.

SAMANTHA: Everybody okay?

CAROLINE: Cowboy.

SAMANTHA: I’m sorry. He was a positive spirit.

NURSE: At least he’s gone into the light.

RICK: Where’s Josie?

They all look around and see the front door wide open.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s ACT 3 Middle Scenes

What I learned doing this assignment is… to keep the action and motivations simple. Too complex ruins the story.

2. New plan: Rick and Samantha learn Djinn is controlling everyone and since he locked them in – they need to translate the book to find the right spell to contain him.

BEGINNING: Samantha tells part of the ritual that Caroline did but Caroline says no she did something else because the pages were in Persian/Farsi and she couldn’t read it so she says a voice dictated what words to say – Rick gets their copy of the ritual book from the safe, but in his haste, he leaves the safe open and the cell phone visible (remember the characters put the cell phone in the safe in the opening)

MIDDLE: Rick and Sam agree that the behavior was the Djinn controlling them all along – even their increased fighting was Djinn energy trying to break them up for some reason. (Djinn wants out to kill humanity)

END: Sam tells Rick he needs to find the right ritual to reverse the spell that locked her in.

INT. LIVING ROOM/ ATTIC LIMBO – INTERCUT

SAMANTHA: And you didn’t think it strange?

RICK: A voice from nowhere translating for you and you thought it was fine? Oh, boy.

CAROLINE: Okay, when you say it like that I feel stupid now.

SAMANTHA: No, Caroline – oh please don’t cry. Rick, say something.

RICK: What? It was stupid.

Caroline bawls.

SAMANTHA: Rick!

RICK: There, there. Don’t cry. I guess anyone who was dead for two hundred years could make the same mistake with— common sense. What? That’s all I got.

SAMANTHA: If this voice dictated… Rick, oh my god.

RICK: TheDjinn. That’s the only entity not accounted for. If he was dictating to you, he was reading from the ritual.

SAMANTHA: Which we locked in the safe with the phone.

RICK: Got it.

3. Things Start Well, Until: Josie translates the spell releasing Samantha –until it also releases the djinn…

BEGINNING: Rick remembers Josie saying something about her immigration from Iran when she was a baby and can speak Farsi.

MIDDLE: Josie translates the ritual, causing the house to reform and release Sam

END: As Rick and Sam hug and reconnect and the ghosts give themselves high fives for getting them back together, Josie hears a phone ringing and answers the cell phone on the floor in front of the open safe that got moved when the house was shaking.

The Djinn is now in Josie.

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

RICK: READING FROM JOSIE’S TRANSLATION {SOMETHING SUITABLY SPELL CRAFTY}

JOSIE: …(SOMETHING DOESN’T TRANSLATE EXACTLY} I told you, I’m a little rusty.

RICK: {FINISHES}

The ground shakes, wind whirls within the house and everyone is knocked about as if the entire house is shifting – to recover it’s original floor plan.

Samantha falls from the ceiling as if she’s bled through the thin veil between here and limbo.

CAROLINE: Mrs. Coffey! You did it, Sir

RICK: We did it. Are you hurt, baby?

SAMANTHA: I’m okay. How is everyone here? Still in one piece?

The phone rings – but it’s not a phone anyone sees. Josie hears it and steps away.

RICK: I’m sorry for all the times I screwed up. If you promise to give us another chance, I promise I will never put my fragile, self-involved petty aggrandizing above our life goals again.

SAMANTHA: Wow, that’s a mouth full, but I accept the challenge.

CAROLINE: Anyone who sacrifices himself to save you is worth a second chance.

RICK: It was really Josie who saved the day with the stellar translation. Josie—where’d she go?

INT. BASEMENT STUDIO

A shambles, like the rest of the house, but the safe is open on it’s side and the RINGING CELL PHONE on the floor in front of it. Josie, following the ring, answers.

JOSIE: Hello?

A burst of energy comes from the phone and permeates through Josie’s ear and down her arms and spine – taking over. Her eyes glow red.

JOSIE: (GUTTERAL, MENACING VOICE NOT HER OWN) At last. Bring me the humans.

PLACEHOLDER: LEADS TO A BATTLE WHERE JOSIE/DJINN ADMITS USING HIS ENERGY TO MANIPULATE THEM TO ESCAPE AND KILL THEM. AT THE COWBOY TRIES TO BE A HERO – HE IS KILLED. WHEN THE DJINN TRIES TO KILL THE OTHERS, RICK AND SAMANTHA PROTECT THEM BY GOING BACK TO THEIR ORIGINAL SPELL THAT PUT HIM AWAY. BUT JOSIE DROPS A BOOKCASE ON THEM AND WALKS OUT OF THE HOUSE.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint

What I learned doing this assignment is this really is a 20% draft. I am only putting down guideposts and will have to go back when I have more time to fill in the rest of the rough draft before I even get to 50% complete. And I am fine with that.

KEY SCENES ACT 3

1. React/Rethink: Rick realizes he loves Samantha and his ego chasing fame and not doing his share of the real ghost busting work was standing in the way of their happiness

2. New plan: Rick and Samantha learn Djinn is controlling everyone and since he locked them in – they need to translate the book to find the right spell to contain him.

3. Things Start Well, Until: Josie translates the spell releasing Samantha –until it also releases the djinn…

4. Turning Point: Djinn goes into Josie who kills the Cowboy (sending him into particles) and tries to kill everyone else by setting a fire and walking away in Josie’s body.

Midpoint – Rick has insight into why Samantha wants a divorce; sees his old ways don’t cut it anymore; ups his game – changing to realize he must do half the work.

Reaction/Rethink – Rick teams with Caroline and the ghosts to follow Samantha’s instructions to find the correct ritual to get her out.

KEY SCENE 1

BEGINNING – Rick works with Caroline and the ghosts to follow Samantha’s instructions to find the ritual book

MIDDLE – Rick comes up with a plan that Samantha compliments him on which is a step toward reconciliation

END – Rick is able to see Caroline is not responsible and it was the Djinn in control all along.

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

RICK: Right, what do you want me to do?

INT. ATTIC LIMBO

SAMANTHA: We need to find the {NAME OF BOOK}. Caroline. Where did you first use it?

INTERCUT – LIVING ROOM/ATTIC

CAROLINE: In the crawl space.

SAMANTHA: Rick, go up there and see if you find any evidence—

RICK: You mean like ectoplasm or EVP {THINGS FOUND IN PARANORMAL INVESTIGATION}? I could put the language through a translation program to see if there’s an unknown entity behind this.

SAMANTHA: Good thinking.

RICK: Really?

SAMANTHA: Absolutely. It’s exactly what I would do.

RICK: I guess I’m starting to listen.

COWBOY: About time.

CAROLINE: Stop. You’re ruining the moment. He’s growing.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle has completed Act 2 Draft 1

What I learned doing this assignment is the 20% quick write method allows my subconscious to get out the truth of the scene by finding the kernel of truth within all the free flow.

Ghosts plan to lock Samantha in the room

Beginning – Samantha can’t find the Quit Claim deed

Middle – Caroline tells her she has it

End – Samantha knows it’s a trap but it accidentally springs anyway.

SAMANTHA: C’mon Caroline, I’ve had enough. It’s not funny anymore.

CAROLINE: Whatever can you mean? I promise I’ve left it on the table in the attic.

SAMANTHA: We don’t have an attic.

CAROLINE: Then what’s this door? I promise there’s a room here.

SAMANTHA: And when I open the door and step inside I am shut inside a pocket reality halfway between here and immortality. It’s a very old conjurer’s trick. You must have read my article on the Sicilian Sorceress from Salt Lake City who used the trick in 1927 to lock her abusive husband. She told people he went out for a newspaper and never came back. Only when the house was demolished did they find her spellbook and when a skeptical gardener performed the spell he found her husband’s rotting bones.

CAROLINE: Mrs. Coffey, I am shocked and may I add a little hurt that you would accuse me, a loyal servant of such treachery. I will say it was a splendid article though.

SAMANTHA: Uh-huh. Just get me the deed.

CAROLINE: Oh, have it your own way.

Caroline evaporates then returns empty handed.

CAROLINE: The door’s stuck.

SAMANTHA: If this is a joke.

CAROLINE: No, I promise.

SAMANTHA: Oh, give me the book.

Sam says the ritual and the door opens.

SAMANTHA: Go in and get it.

CAROLINE: Still don’t trust me after all these years.

SAMANTHA: Caroline.

CAROLINE: I mean it’s not like the spell will work now anyway because you know the trick.

SAMANTHA: What’s wrong?

CAROLINE: Um—

She’s a ghost so she can’t actually pick up the paper.

SAMANTHA: Blow.

[PLACEHOLDER: SOMEHOW SAMANTHA ACCIDENTALLY GETS LOCKED IN THE ROOM WITHOUT THE RITUAL BOOK}

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Act 2 TP – Midpoint

What I learned doing this assignment is to take my time and give careful consideration to character development at this point. The characters have to go through a crisis important enough to generate change and it cannot be something rushed or poorly considered.

Same Journey – Rick and Samantha are still pursuing their own goals

Different Meaning – But now they are sharing those goals and its significance with each other

Beginning – Rick and Samantha try to find a place where they veil is thinnest so they can talk

Middle – Rick fails to come up with a plan and complains that Samantha is the one who always comes up with the plans and has to admit he has no idea what he is doing

End – They have a genuine conversation showing vulnerability and need and drive. Rick reveals his motivation for chasing fame and Samantha reveals her filing for divorce was a last resort because she needed to wake him up to himself.

INT. HOUSE – CONTINUOUS / INT. NOWHERE ATTIC

Rick runs all around trying to find the best room to hear Sam like trying to find WiFi. Sam looks around this empty room – like a barn loft with whitewashed wood walls and floor from the Kate Spade shabby chic collection

SAMANTHA: Look in the safe.

RICK: What?

SAMANTHA: The safe. You need to get the Ritual book in the floor safe.

RICK: Of course it’s not safe. You’re in the wall!

SAMANTHA: Where are you? I can’t hear you anymore.

RICK: Can you hear me?

CAROLINE: Try singing. {NAME OF SONG}

RICK: Singing that will activate the ritual?

CAROLINE: No idea. I just like the song.

{PLACEHOLDER – WHATEVER THEY TRY DOESN’T WORK}

RICK: Let’s face it, I’m a failure.

SAMANTHA: Don’t say that. You’re very good at… connecting.

RICK: No, I’m all charm and bullshit. You’re the real brains of this operation. No, don’t stop me.

SAMANTHA: I wasn’t going to. I’m just glad you finally acknowledge you have a weakness.

RICK: It’s an act. The bravado. Go big or go home. Whatever you want to call it. It’s all ego. I’m nothing.

CAROLINE: Should we go? I’m thinking we should go.

SAMANTHA: You’re not nothing. You’re Rick Coffey, the man who stop the Red Genie from destroying a family. That’s something.

RICK: You stopped the Djinn. I tripped on the rug and knocked myself out. I couldn’t even hold on to the best thing in my life.

SAMANTHA: They’ll give you the show on your own.

RICK: I mean you. When you get out, I’ll sign the deed. Sell the house, adopt a baby, live your life and be happy. You deserve it. I won’t stand in your way.

SAMANTHA: You’ll get to do what you’ve always dreamed – an audience for your exploits.

RICK: Doesn’t matter. It was for you anyway. I only wanted to impress you. I thought if we were the most famous paranormal investigators in the world, you’d think I was good enough for you.

SAMANTHA: Rick—

RICK: No—um—don’t say anything. It’s hard enough to admit, but I don’t want any of this unless you’re there to share it.

SAMANTHA: I was going to say, I think I found the key.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Act 2 Middle Scenes

What I learned in doing this assignment… to take each scene one beat at a time. I like the less is more way of plotting so I do not overcomplicate things.

Key Scene 2 – Protagonist takes on a plan and executes it/ RICK WOOS SAMANTHA WITH FLOWERS AND PROMISES AS HE AND JOSIE (THEIR AGENT) PITCH THE PLAN TO HER

Beginning: Rick and Josie try a calm approach to go back to the way things were in Rick and Samantha’s marriage.

Middle: Rick’s arrogance does not impress Samantha which riles Rick’s emotions – he is unable to admit any fault

End: Josie presents the plan to have the couple working together again – stressing that it is what they both love, are good at and makes them money.

RICK: We both have said things—

Josie coughs to warn Rick

RICK: I mean, I have said… and done things that have hurt the brand.

SAMANTHA: The brand?

RICK: Us.

SAMANTHA: Our marriage. You can’t even say it, can you?

RICK: Of course I can say it. Marriage. Marriage.. Our – Marr—(he chokes)

SAMANTHA: Bye.

JOSIE: Wait, Sam, please. Hear us out. The TV series offer is real. Fifty grand just for the pilot. All you have to do is what you usually do. Go to a haunted house, investigate the manifestation and clear it for the homeowners. Show how much you love each other and we all make tons of money.

SAMANTHA: Josie, you’re as bad as he is.

Key Scene 3 – Not only does their plan fail…/ SAMANTHA NOT ONLY DISMISSES THE PLAN BUT TELLS HIM SHE PLANS TO SELL THE HOUSE AND NEEDS HIS SIGNATURE. TRIGGERS CAROLINE.

Beginning: Rick and Josie try to play to Sam’s ego which pisses her off.

Middle: Sam rejects the idea of working together suggesting Rick go it alone from now on.

End: Samantha serves Rick with a Quit Claim Deed and tells him she is selling the house and he needs to sign and she will split the proceeds.

RICK: It’s perfect. You love that stuff, you could do it in your sleep with one hand behind you back.

SAMANTHA: So could you. Why don’t you do it and I’ll stay here and take care of the property settlement.

JOSIE: It’s not the same.

RICK: What property settlement?

SAMANTHA: Actually, I’m glad you came over. Saves me hiring a Process Server.

She slaps a notice of intent to sell—a quit claim deed for the house.

SAMANTHA: Notice of intent to sell. And I need you to sign the Quit Claim Deed. I’m selling the house.

RICK: What? Are you out of your mind?

SAMANTHA: My house… per our prenup.

RICK: I didn’t…

SAMANTHA: You did. And I’m prepared to give you have the proceeds from the sale.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Act 2 Reaction to TP1

What I learned doing this assignment is I can outline a beginning middle and end of each scene to keep them on track.

Act 2

Reaction Scene

Beginning: Rick does not believe Samantha wants a divorce; he uses his old lies trying to seduce her to reconsider and plays it off like she was joking.

RICK: Okay, you made you point. I get it, you want more credit. How about this, Samantha and Rick Coffey’s Ghost Stories… instead of Ghost Stories with Rick and Samantha.

SAMANTHA: You can sleep in the guest room until you can find a place. Unless you prefer a motel. You like being on the road so much, you may as well get used to the accommodations.

Middle: Until her divorce lawyer presents papers

RICK: It’s not even an official separation. Unless I get served with papers, I am still your husband and this is my house.

SAMANTHA: Consider yourself served.

RICK: Sam. Samantha, get back here. You can’t just tell me you want a divorce. What about the partnership? This is not part of the plan.

End: Caroline the ghost appears and calls in the others

CAROLINE: See? It’s like I told you. They need us.

COWBOY: Just a little dustup. I was always catching hell from the little lady out on the prairie.

CAROLINE: This isn’t the prairie. This is New Jersey and Samantha and Rick can’t divorce. They are the perfect couple. So romantic.

NURSE: You read too many romance novels, Caroline.

CAROLINE: What happens to us? We’re bound to them. If they aren’t together, will we be—

She makes a slash across her throat.

COWBOY: Done and dusted

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Finished Act 1

What I learned doing this assignment is it is okay to write a placeholder in a scene and move on so I don’t get stuck on any scenes that stop the flow.

INT. ATTIC

Beginning – A LITTLE GIRL, 8, with the strength of ten men beats up a YOUNG WOMAN, 22, and knocks her out –

Her partner, a YOUNG MAN, 23, – a douche bag with long flowing locks dressed like a 20th century adventurer from a romantic novel. He figures out the name of the demon and freezes him in the body

YOUNG MAN

Not to worry, I will rescue you.

He looks ridiculous with a camera, EVP recorder and head lamp

Flashing the light draws it attention.

Middle – the man exorcises the demon and heroically rescues the young woman putting her to safety.

DJINN, a pre-Islamic Arabian demon born

A powerful fight scene between the man and djinn where the man has the halo of a hero and godlike powers.

Takes a rag, soaked in turpentine and light on fire which kept the djinn away.

They square off, facing each other one last time.

Says the spell

YOUNG WOMAN

Oh, my wonderful darling. I would be dead now if not for you. You are the bravest, smartest paranormal investigator who ever lived.

LITTLE GIRL

Thank you, for saving my life, kind sir. I can now go back to my normal life as a little girl.

RICK DOES A VO essentially narrating how wonderful he was.

RICK (VO) Says wonderful things about how he single-handedly send the djinn into the cell phone.

YOUNG MAN

Give me your phone.

End – the wife wakes up and helps but they need a place to contain so he says give me your cell.

The man does a spell that confines the djinn and the girl and young woman are fawning over him ever so grateful

The man says something corny about phones.

INT. BASEMENT STUDIO

The story is being told as an anecdote by RICK COFFEY. His wife SAMANTHA COFFEY is produced the webcast and handles the live stream as he talks shit.

Theme- yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, today is a gift that’s why we call it the present. Rick needs to learn to appreciate the present instead of living in the past or future.

Beginning – Rick talks as if he lives in the past

RICK

Talks about how heroic her was and how it made him and Sam stars.

SAMANTHA

Agrees

RICK

Waxes nostalgic about the good old days.

SAMANTHA

Rick. We have Marc from Cape May.

RICK

Hi, Marc. How’s the weather down the shore?

MARC

Chit chat.

RICK

What’s your question?

MARC

What if any involvement did you have in the movie A Genie Among Us?

Middle – He complains about how the producer and director and screenwriter ruined the movie based on the book – Rick gets mad at Sam for dropping a call

RICK

I’m glad you asked. GOES INTO A RANT ABOUT HOW THE SCREENWRITER NEVER EVEN SPOKE TO THEM AND JUST USED THIS ONE CHAPTER. HIS TONE ESCALATES INTO EXPLETIVES THAT

Samantha has to quickly use the BEEP to make sure the expletives don’t get on air.

MARC

Eggs Rick on.

RICK

That’s Rick, Marv.

MARC

Marc

RICK

Marc. You wouldn’t believe the…

Samantha drops the call.

End – Another person has a question that Rick can’t answer so Sam does and Rick is immediately called out for not knowing. Sam drops the call on purpose this time. Rick signs off the program as their agent arrives.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Turning Point 1 Scenes

What I learned doing this assignment is theme of the story underscores all of these pivotal moments naturally, so I must be on the right track.

OUTLINE ACT 1 TP

INT. BASEMENT STUDIO

Beginning – Rick is called out by a viewer over the viral video at Amityville and read as a loser with no career and a fraud

RICK: Let’s take another call. We have DoomRaider69. Hi, you’re on with Rick.

DOOMRAIDER69: I saw that Amityville panel. What a putz man, are you even a real ghost hunter? Cause you don’t know shit about what’s going on.

RICK: Well, thanks for your call, DoomRaider. I think I know what you’re referring to. I was happy to participate in the Amityville anniversary panel and I was making a point about (SOME REAL POINT)

DOOMRAIDER69: (COUNTERS WITH A REAL CRITICISM OF AMITYVILLE HORROR STORY)

Rick indicates for Samantha to save him.

SAMANTHA: Rick, we have Cindy from Throngs Neck, NY

RICK: I appreciate your call and look forward to… Hi Cindy, do you have a question about paranormal investigation?

CINDY: Yeah, to follow up on what the last caller said, I was actually in the audience at the Amityville and you really ate it.

Rick “accidentally” cuts her off.

RICK: Oops, we lost Cindy. Okay, Samantha while you work on getting her back, let’s talk about… what’s this?

SAMANTHA: There’s,,,

(SCENE NOT WORKING WHEN I TRY TO BLAST THROUGH IT. THE IDEA IS TO ESCALATE THE COMMENTS BAD TO WORSE WITH SOMEONE ON ZOOM BURNING THEIR BOOK WHICH SENDS RICK OFF)

Middle – Rick announces a new series

RICK: Oh, yeah? Well for your information you dick without a head, The Rick and Samantha Coffey Experience will be a series on the Supernatural Channel. Tell them, honey.

End – Samantha announces their divorce.

SAMANTHA: Eat my asshole, I want a divorce.

Act 1 TP – Rick announces the new reality show as if it is a done deal and Samantha announces they are divorcing

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Inciting Incident

What I learned doing this assignment is my writing
time is too limited for me to create the way I’d like. I am not in a good
headspace to fully complete assignments the way I’d like. Having a day job
takes too much of my time when I’d rather be writing.

INT. KITCHEN

Samantha makes coffee for the Agent who tells them about offers

Beginning The agent

JOSIE LARA, 40, their agent, has a cup of tea while reviewing the state of their career.

JOSIE

“A Genie Among Us” has dropped to number 67 on the New York Times bestseller list.

SAMANTHA

That’s still good, right. Top one hundred.

RICK

Are you high? No, sweetheart, it is not “still good.”

SAMANTHA

Okay, but you don’t have to speak to me like that.

JOSIE

And with the movie tank–

Samantha stands behind Rick motioning for Josie to not go there.

JOSIE (CONT’D)

Let’s move beyond this book. When can I expect the next one?

RICK

Don’t look at me. I’m the one busting my ass keeping us in the public eye.

SAMANTHA

I know, I know. But the blog has kept me so busy. There’s a case from the (FORBIDDEN WOODS in JAPAN) where a man saw a ghost who just–poof! Exploded into dust particles and went up to Heaven. I’m obsessed.

JOSIE

I wish you’d be more obsessed with writing your next series of adventures. “A Genie Among Us, Part Deux” pehaps? How can I be an agent without something to sell?

RICK

What about the movie franchise? When’s the sequel?

JOSIE

Not happening. No one cares about the demon djinn anymore. The only offers you have are the bookstore signing Thursday. Oh, there’s a panel in Amityville on the anniversary of the DeFeo murders.

RICK

Get me on that panel.

JOSIE

No, Rick you don’t want this. It’s about discrediting the horror story. They want to embarrass you.

RICK

Which is why I need to go. Close minded people are close minded because no one’s taken the time to charm them first.

SAMANTHA

Maybe Josie’s right. I’d rather we stay closer to home. Now would be a great time to start a family. Like we planned.

RICK

Says something about waiting until the future is perfect.

SAMANTHA

Says something about the time will never be right but it is always the right time.

JOSIE

There is something. Pretty big money, if you’re looking for an extra cushion. I wasn’t going to tell you because it’s not a sure thing.

RICK

I’ll do it. What is it?

JOSIE

A reality show. Maybe.

RICK

What?!

JOSIE

Describes the show.

SAMANTHA

But we’d be on the road at least half a year for production.

tells them there won’t be a sequel and there are no big offers

Middle – but they have a book signing and possible panel which Rick doesn’t want to go to because it is beneath him but Sam doesn’t want anything thinks it time to have a baby and living off the money she’s made writing their experiences and that of others. She can take care of him and he can fix up the house

End – The agent says there is one last possibility – a reality show contacted him about pitching a travel series. Rick is elated. Sam is dismayed.

INT. BEDROOM

Inciting Incident – p. 10 – they argue over opportunity and it wakes Caroline – who is watching but unseen.

SAMANTHA

No. I don’t want to go on the road for six months.

RICK

Talks about the money and success the TV ghost busters have.

SAMANTHA

Good for them. I’m concerned about us.

RICK

Not paying attention. This guy Blanchard just bought the Devereux plantation in Louisiana and had a pay-per-view special where they summoned ghosts of slaves. Over a million viewers. We can do that.

Beginning – Rick wants

Middle – Sam plays devil’s advocate

End – things shake or the electricity surges and a wind blows through the room. A cold spot where Caroline is standing.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Act 1: Opening Scenes

What I learned doing this assignment is to just write the darn thing.

INT. ATTIC

Beginning – A LITTLE GIRL, 8, with the strength of ten men beats up a YOUNG WOMAN, 22, and knocks her out –

Her partner, a YOUNG MAN, 23, – a douche bag with long flowing locks dressed like a 20^th century adventurer from a romantic novel. He figures out the name of the demon and freezes him in the body

YOUNG MAN

Not to worry, I will rescue you.

He looks ridiculous with a camera, EVP recorder and head lamp

Flashing the light draws it attention.

Middle – the man exorcises the demon and heroically rescues the young woman putting her to safety.

DJINN, a pre-Islamic Arabian demon born

A powerful fight scene between the man and djinn where the man has the halo of a hero and godlike powers.

Takes a rag, soaked in turpentine and light on fire which kept the djinn away.

They square off, facing each other one last time.

Says the spell

YOUNG WOMAN

Oh, my wonderful darling. I would be dead now if not for you. You are the bravest, smartest paranormal investigator who ever lived.

LITTLE GIRL

Thank you, for saving my life, kind sir. I can now go back to my normal life as a little girl.

RICK DOES A VO essentially narrating how wonderful he was.

RICK (VO) Says wonderful things about how he single-handedly send the djinn into the cell phone.

YOUNG MAN

Give me your phone.

End – the wife wakes up and helps but they need a place to contain so he says give me your cell.

The man does a spell that confines the djinn and the girl and young woman are fawning over him ever so grateful

The man says something corny about phones.

INT. BASEMENT STUDIO

The story is being told as an anecdote by RICK COFFEY. His wife SAMANTHA COFFEY is produced the webcast and handles the live stream as he talks shit.

Theme- yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, today is a gift that’s why we call it the present. Rick needs to learn to appreciate the present instead of living in the past or future.

Beginning – Rick talks as if he lives in the past

Middle – He complains about how the producer and director and screenwriter ruined the movie based on the book – Rick gets mad at Sam for dropping a call

End – Another person has a question that Rick can’t answer so Sam does and Rick is immediately called out for not knowing. Sam drops the call on purpose this time. Rick signs off the program as their agent arrives.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

What I learned from this assignment is…not every theme is easily detected, but in good movies they are not far from the surface.

THEME: Success is having good relationships.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>INT. BASEMENT STUDIO – NIGHT

OPENING: Rick is desperate for regain the fame he and his wife had from their ghost busting experiences.

INT. BOOKSTORE – NIGHT

TE 1: No one shows up at a book signing and no one recognizes him at an industry panel.

ANTAGONIST: Rick’s selfish flaw gets in his own way.

INT. BASEMENT STUDIO

INCITING INCIDENT: They are offered a reality show, but Samantha is set on having a baby and does not want to be in the spotlight.

THEME: Rick is too selfish to sustain their marriage

TE 2: Rick is called out on his lack of paranormal prowess and embarrassed when he must admit his wife Samantha is the real team leader.

TURNING POINT: Rick ignores Samantha and announces the show and she announces she wants a divorce. The ghosts who live in their house take notice.

ANTAGONIST: Samantha wants Rick gone. Caroline wants Rick to change and come back. Rick wants to come back without having to make any changes in himself.

ACT 2

INT. LIVING ROOM

PLACEHOLDER: Rick at first tries to win Sam back but she realizes he is just doing it because the show is conditional on them being a team.

THEME: Rick believes their career is their marriage and they both need it to work.

ANTAGONIST: Samantha chooses her own goals and is winning. Rick must deal with failure and loss of respect from his wife.

TE 3: Rick’s ego is shattered when Sam no longer needs him and demands he sign over the house and she will also have to pay him alimony.

INT. GUEST BEDROOM

NEW PLAN: Caroline and the ghosts decide to scare Samantha into remembering how successful and in love she and Rick were when they were ghostbusting

ANTAGONIST: Two ghosts falling in love and need to manipulate Rick.

INT. HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

PLAN IN ACTION: Caroline stages paranormal experiences in the house.

PLACEHOLDER: The pranks with the plumbing and eerie noises and moving objects don’t work, but Samantha does call Rick and they get drunk and let out all of their hostilities

INT. MASTER BEDROOM

ANTAGONIST: The ghosts who are falling in love invade Rick and Sam’s bodies.

MID-POINT: Two ghosts take over Rick and Sam’s bodies to have sex

TE 4: Rick wakes up thinking Sam wants him back and is disillusioned when she says not. Samantha wants Rick to sign a quitclaim deed, but it is missing.

THEME: Rick sees marriage is give and take

ANTAGONIST: Rick starting to see how his flaws have ruined his marriage.

ACT 3

INT. HOUSE

RETHINK: Rick tries to convince Sam to reconsider but she decides to sell the house. Caroline needs to ramp up and turn Rick into Sam’s hero.

ANTAGONIST: Rick deals with a paranormal experience on his own.

NEW PLAN: Caroline locks Sam somewhere within the ether of the house

TE 5: Rick can only hear her. As Sam is locked away she and Rick have a long heart-to-heart that leads to their reunion.

SCENE: Rick is losing control, starting to change as he is alone trying to solve a paranormal experience. But with Samantha in his ear, he begins to gain control and uses his skills to find the ritual book he needs to rescue her.

THEME: Rick’s flaw is preventing him from rescuing his wife. He must evolve his thinking – listening to his partner because marriage is compromise. And his marriage success will be his career success.

PLACEHOLDER: Caroline and the ghosts watch from a distance but realize they cannot reverse the spell to get Sam back anyway, which really leads Rick to use all of his know-how.

INT. BASEMENT STUDIO

TE 6: Rick reads all of Sam’s notes and gains insight into who she is as a person, apart from him and their career together.

SCENE: The ghosts appear to Rick to confirm what is happening and why – it firms his resolve to make it up with Sam and give serious consideration to her dreams.

THEME: Marriage works for both partners. Rick cannot succeed in this job related event without Sam.

INT. LIVING ROOM

TP ALL IS LOST: Rick needs his farsi-speaking agent to translate the passage to release Sam, but it also releases a Djinn who inhabits the agent’s body and tries to kill Rick who is saved by Sam.

ANTAGONIST: As Rick and Sam reunite, they realize the demon is in their friend’s body. The djinn attempts to kill Rick and Sam and successfully turns one of the ghosts into dust particles

ACT 4

INT. LIVING ROOM

TE 7: Rick realizes the power in working as a team with the ghosts and Samantha

CLIMAX: Rick leads the exorcism of the djinn from the agent

ANTAGONIST: The djinn needs a body but must fight Rick, Sam, the agent and the ghosts who are ready with the ritual which creates energy too strong for the djinn.

THEME: A successful partnership is where the couple works together to solve crises.

PLACEHOLDER: As the djinn is let out, the ghosts needs to use their mojo to turn it into dust. The subplot plays with the ghosts completing their own arc.

RESOLUTION: Rick and Sam work with the ghosts to destroy the djinn forever. Rick and Sam want to stay in their home together and write another book while having a baby.

THEME: Success is a good relationship. A successful relationship is what makes Rick’s career success.

TE 8: Rick is an equal, humble partner in his
marriage and and their career which will be on an upswing when they write their
new book on their experiences.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s High Speed Beat Sheet

What I learned doing this assignment is…I work with a creative mind so I can ask for assistance. In a way I am not alone. Writing quickly for the first draft works well in getting my ideas down as long as I have the beat sheet with the major event as a guide.

INT. BASEMENT STUDIO – NIGHT

OPENING: Rick is desperate for regain the fame he and his wife had from their ghost busting experiences.

INT. BOOKSTORE – NIGHT

TE 1: No one shows up at a book signing and no one recognizes him at an industry panel.

INT. BASEMENT STUDIO

INCITING INCIDENT: They are offered a reality show, but Samantha is set on having a baby and does not want to be in the spotlight.

TE 2: Rick is called out on his lack of paranormal prowess and embarrassed when he must admit his wife Samantha is the real team leader.

TURNING POINT: Rick ignores Samantha and announces the show and she announces she wants a divorce. The ghosts who live in their house take notice.

ACT 2

INT. LIVING ROOM

PLACEHOLDER: Rick at first tries to win Sam back but she realizes he is just doing it because the show is conditional on them being a team.

TE 3: Rick’s ego is shattered when Sam no longer needs him and demands he sign over the house and she will also have to pay him alimony.

INT. GUEST BEDROOM

NEW PLAN: Caroline and the ghosts decide to scare Samantha into remembering how successful and in love she and Rick were when they were ghostbusting

INT. HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

PLAN IN ACTION: Caroline stages paranormal experiences in the house.

PLACEHOLDER: The pranks with the plumbing and eerie noises and moving objects don’t work, but Samantha does call Rick and they get drunk and let out all of their hostilities

INT. MASTER BEDROOM

MID-POINT: Two ghosts take over Rick and Sam’s bodies to have sex

TE 4: Rick wakes up thinking Sam wants him back and is disillusioned when she says not. Samantha wants Rick to sign a quitclaim deed, but it is missing.

ACT 3

INT. HOUSE

RETHINK: Rick tries to convince Sam to reconsider but she decides to sell the house. Caroline needs to ramp up and turn Rick into Sam’s hero.

NEW PLAN: Caroline locks Sam somewhere within the ether of the house

TE 5: Rick can only hear her. As Sam is locked away she and Rick have a long heart-to-heart that leads to their reunion.

SCENE: Rick is losing control, starting to change as he is alone trying to solve a paranormal experience. But with Samantha in his ear, he begins to gain control and uses his skills to find the ritual book he needs to rescue her.

PLACEHOLDER: Caroline and the ghosts watch from a distance but realize they cannot reverse the spell to get Sam back anyway, which really leads Rick to use all of his know-how.

INT. BASEMENT STUDIO

TE 6: Rick reads all of Sam’s notes and gains insight into who she is as a person, apart from him and their career together.

SCENE: The ghosts appear to Rick to confirm what is happening and why – it firms his resolve to make it up with Sam and give serious consideration to her dreams.

INT. LIVING ROOM

TP ALL IS LOST: Rick needs his farsi-speaking agent to translate the passage to release Sam, but it also releases a Djinn who inhabits the agent’s body and tries to kill Rick who is saved by Sam.

ANTAGONIST SCENE: As Rick and Sam reunite, they realize the demon is in their friend’s body.

ACT 4

INT. LIVING ROOM

TE 7: Rick realizes the power in working as a team with the ghosts and Samantha

CLIMAX: Rick leads the exorcism of the djinn from the agent

PLACEHOLDER: As the djinn is let out, the ghosts needs to use their mojo to turn it into dust. The subplot plays with the ghosts completing their own arc.

RESOLUTION: Rick and Sam work with the ghosts to destroy the djinn forever. Rick and Sam want to stay in their home together and write another book while having a baby.

TE 8: Rick is an equal, humble partner in his
marriage and and their career which will be on an upswing when they write their
new book on their experiences.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Transformational Events

What I learned doing this assignment is… transformation is a process. In order for the journey to make sense the character must be seen failing at what used to work before they can decide to choose the new ways in order to succeed and change.

Rick’s Old Ways – Chases happiness… An inept ghost buster… Takes the credit for his wife’s work… He sees fame and fortune as the key to happiness… Does not want a family until he has fame… Thinks he should be the family boss.

CHALLENGE – Act 1

1. Draws a small crowd at book signing

2. Ignorant and dismissed at paranormal panel

3. Called out on his own webcast

4. Reminded his career is no longer bright and shining and the money is not great

5. Warned by his wife that she wants to raise a family now, with love not with fame and fortune

6. Chases fame and wife declares she wants a divorce

EVOLVING – Acts 2 & 3

7. He doesn’t believe she can succeed on her own or without him.

8. He throws a tantrum when she demands he sign over the house so she can sell it.

9. No one wants him on his own so he tries to use his charm to win her back

10. As ghosts manipulate them, he believes his wife is trying to get back together

11. Ghosts kidnap his wife and he has no clue what to do

12. Reads his wife’s notes and is able to find the right ritual

CHANGE – Act 4

13. Listens to his wife and is able to have a genuine conversation

14. Figures out how to rescue his wife

15. Chooses to listen to everyone around him in order to defeat the demon.

16. Chooses to stay with his wife instead of chasing an elusive goal when he already has everything he wants.

Rick’s New Ways – Lets happiness come to him… A
skilled ghost buster… Gives his wife her due credit… Realizes the love of his
family will bring him happiness… Knows there is never a right time to have a
child… Knows marriage is compromise.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s 4 Act Transformational Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is… I can streamline my story and character motives and actions by writing down the bare essence.

Concept –When paranormal investigators Rick and Samantha Coffey plan to divorce, the ghosts living in their house devise a scheme to reunite them

Main Conflict – Rick wants to focus on resurrecting their career, Sam wants to focus on family planning and Caroline the ghost steps in because a divorce means a new home for the ghosts who do not want to leave.

Rick’s Old Ways – Chases happiness… An inept ghost buster… Takes the credit for his wife’s work… He sees fame and fortune as the key to happiness… Does not want a family until he has fame… Thinks he should be the family boss.

Rick’s New Ways – Lets happiness come to him… A skilled ghost buster… Gives his wife her due credit… Realizes the love of his family will bring him happiness… Knows there is never a right time to have a child… Knows marriage is compromise.

ACT 1

Opening – Rick is desperate for regain the fame he and Sam had from their ghost busting experiences.

Inciting Incident – They are offered a reality show, but Samantha is set on having a baby and does not want to be in the spotlight.

Turning Point – Rick ignores Samantha and announces the show and she announces she wants a divorce. The ghosts who live in their house take notice.

ACT 2

New plan – Caroline and the ghosts decide to scare Samantha into remembering how successful and in love she and Rick were when they were ghost busting

Plan in action – Caroline stages paranormal experiences in the house.

MP Turn – Two ghosts take over Rick and Sam’s bodies to have sex

ACT 3

Rethink everything – Rick tries to convince Sam to reconsider but she decides to sell the house. Caroline needs to ramp up and turn Rick into Sam’s hero.

New plan – Caroline locks Sam somewhere within the ether of the house – Rick can only hear her. As Sam is locked away she and Rick have a long heart-to-heart that leads to their reunion.

TP All is lost/Major shift – Rick needs his farsi-speaking agent to translate the passage to release Sam, but it also releases a Djinn who inhabits the agent’s body and tries to kill Rick who is saved by Sam.

ACT 4

Climax/Ultimate expression of conflict – Rick leads the exorcism of the djinn from the agent

<div><b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Resolution – Rick and Sam work with the ghosts to destroy
the djinn forever. Rick and Sam want to stay in their home together and write
another book while having a baby.
</div>

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[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Character Interviews

What I learned doing this assignment is neither of my main characters are villains. They are in a relationship where they are at cross-purposes and have to unite to fight a common threat then defeat an even more deadly threat. I prefer these complex characters rather than purely hero or villain.

RICK COFFEY – PROTAGONIST

Tell
me about yourself.

I am New York’s premier paranormal investigator. You can read about the sorts of experiences my wife and I had in our book: Until The Reckoning now a major motion picture.

Why
do you think you were called to this journey? Why you?

I am the only one who can destroy the evil that is about to be unleashed.

You
are up against . What is it about them that makes this journey even more
difficult for you?

Okay, I admit my wife does most of the work, but I am important, too. Without me coming up with the plan we wouldn’t have succeeded as well as we have. My wife is very strong, intelligent and secure in herself, her career and her goals which forces me to play catch up. It takes me longer to get things that come so easily to her. I am jealous and that gets in the way of my success and our relationship.

In
order to survive or accomplish this, you are going to have to step way
outside of your box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them
will be the most difficult?

I need to step back and listen before acting. I need to follow my wife’s plans and hear her instead of worrying about whether she hears me.

What
habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let
go of?

I brag about accomplishments and skills I do not have. Admitting I am not the wily ghost hunter I present myself to be will be tough.

What
fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back?

My fear that no one will love or respect me if I am not a famous and wealthy investigator with the suave lethal swagger of James Bond and the adventurous bravery and knowledge of Indiana Jones.

What
skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this
conflict or antagonist?

I know every nook and cranny of the house and I am not afraid of ghosts. I can also decipher the ancient texts required to help in the final battle.

What
are you hiding from the other characters? What don’t you want them to
know?

I am a coward and not as intelligent, suave or debonair as I claim.

What
do you think of Caroline?

I think Caroline is a busy body who should not meddle in my marriage. And I am secretly grateful but will never tell her.

Tell
me your side of this whole conflict / story.

We are paranormal investigators. That’s how we earn a living. But with sales slipping and the movie not doing we, we need something to put us back in the money with more success. But the producers only want me with Samantha. Why not just me? I can do a reality show on my own. It makes me feel worthless, but if they want her I’ll get her. I will make her love me the way she used to.

What
does it do for your life if you succeed here?

If I can get rid of the ghosts, I can show Samantha I have skills and talent to succeed in the industry and we can tell our story and receive the acclaim and money we deserve then we can start the family she wants.

What
will you do if Sam doesn’t change her mind?

I will go on alone with a solo reality show project and win her back with my success.

CAROLINE THE GHOST – ANTAGONIST

Tell
me about yourself.

I was a governess in 1820 during the Regency and traveled with the family from London to Massachusetts in 1825 where I died during from cholera in 1829. I was 32.

Having
to do with this journey, what are your strengths and weaknesses?

I am a hopeful romantic. Versed in all the ways of love in which a suitor may claim his intended. My tenacity for seeing the correct result in the pursuit of carnal pleasures is unmatched among my peers.

Why
are you committed to making the Protagonist fail? Or for a relationship
movie, why are you committed to making them change?

I love Mr. Rick, but as a ghost hunter, he is hopeless without his wife. The mistress is the dominant player in their business and personal relationship and the sooner Mr. Rick can understand and appreciate that fact, the sooner they can get to their happily ever after and have several small ones for me to watch over.

What
do you get out of winning this fight / succeeding in your plan / taking
down your competition?

I get to stay in my home – with the family and making sure the mistress has a child is my next project.

What
drives you toward your mission / agenda, even in the face of danger, ruin,
or death?

If Rick and Samantha go through with their divorce I will lose my home, such as it is and who knows where I will be in what ghastly situation. That is untenable.

What
secrets must you keep to succeed? What other secrets do you keep out of
fear / insecurity?

I have not told anyone of my personal history in l’affaire de Coeur. My love was sent away by his family and I never saw him again. This informs my need to keep lovers together.

Compared
to other people like you, what makes you special?

I am happy with the Coffeys and intend to stay with them to watch over them and be part of the family like a good governess.

What
do you think of Samantha’s filing for divorce?

I understand why the mistress thinks she needs to move forward with her plan to have a child, it is a woman’s prerogative, but without her husband, I think her decision is misguided and she needs to see that and agree to reconcile.

Tell
me your side of this whole conflict / story.

Rick and Samantha are a great match and experiencing a problem in their marriage that can be solved. They have chosen to go to the extreme measure of divorce that would negatively impact my very existence. I must stop this divorce action in order to survive.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Character Profiles Pt. 2

What I learned doing this assignment is it is difficult to break down the characters for parts before I’ve written them. I appreciate knowing who they are, however sometimes I am not clear until I finish the 1^st draft then can be more thorough in the subsequent drafts.

RICK COFFEY

What draws us to this character? –
Rick is Mr. Charisma. He is the charm that pulls in the audience but a
career in the spotlight is fleeting and he is experiencing the thrill that
everyone experiences when they are given attention and the disappointment
when it is taken away. His need feeds the ego that many people can
identify within themselves. <div>

Traits: Egotist, Chauvinist, Haughty,
Braggart, Funny, Coward

Subtext: Sensitive ego, Insecurity

Flaw: Fake it til you make it
syndrome, putting off having a happy life now

Values: Presenting the image of
success will bring happiness

Irony: It is driving his wife away

What makes this the right
character for this role? – Rick’s ego and desire to go on the road is
pushing away the very thing he is working toward. A happy home life with
his wife.

SAMANTHA COFFEY

What draws us to this character?
–A strong, confident woman who has to make a choice between career and
family. </div>

Traits: Talented journalist,
skilled paranormal investigator, calm, No BS, patient, determined,
compassionate, Brave

Subtext: Maternal instinct as her
biological clock is ticking

Flaw: Loves her husband so much
that she has ceded to his goals instead of her own. Now, no longer willing
to do so.

Values: Family, home, independence
of spirit but wants an equal partner.

Irony: Her husband needs to feel
like he is in control when she is really the driving force for their
success.

What makes this the right
character for this role? – She is the perfect foil and obstacle to prevent
Rick’s dreams of fame and fortune while showing him how to be confident
and successful just by being himself.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Character Profiles Pt. 1

What I learned doing this assignment is that one of my main characters is actually the villain because that’s the role she plays despite her goals being positive. They are contradictory to her partner’s goals and present him with the majority of his challenges.

PROTAGONIST – RICK COFFEY (35) – a Dreamer… he fantasizes his success is in regaining the fame and popularity he had when he and his wife first became paranormal investigators. Rick believes he will be loved and respected more if he is seen as a career success.

PROFILE – A suburban mensch who sees himself as what observers would call a white savior. Raised in lower middle class area of Binghamton, New York with his parents (still married) always working at least two jobs to support three kids – Rick is youngest who wore his older brother’s hand-me-downs. Nice family. Older sister helped him learn how to be respectful and confident with girls. He is unreasonably handsome (which will be commented on by ghosts who parody rom-com tropes) but as a teen, popular kids and superficial girls didn’t like his inability to take them places or buy nice things. Lack of wealth or brand new things created HIS NEED TO BE RICH AND FAMOUS TO BE HAPPY/FULFILLED.

When he was 16, a series of odd electromagnetic events happened in the library where his mom worked nights, leading Rick, his sister and their best friends to find a spirit living in the library. Researching the history of the library through his mother they were able to send the spirit into the light giving Rick an interest in ghosts and other phenomena.

He is charismatic and personable and reasonably intelligent. Scholarship to state safety school SUNY Binghamton where he got is B.S. is Paranormal Psychology.

During his junior year he heard about another student who began showing symptoms of possession while under sedation while having her wisdom teeth pulled. He meets her roommate SAMANTHA COFFEY (their met-cute) and together they resolved the issue of a demon in her roommate that she connects to her grandmother always talked about of being a curse for people of (a specific heritage) and causing harm to the person possessed. Together they got the demon out of her, but the energy would not dissipate so they harnessed it into a vessel that Rick keeps in a vault.

Their love grew from that experience and they married two years after graduation.

INTERNAL JOURNEY – the realize he doesn’t need fame and fortune to be loved for who he is and he is enough

EXTERNAL JOURNEY – to fight the ghosts taking over his house while trying to reconcile with his wife to do a reality show.

ANTAGONIST – SAMANTHA COFFEY – Change Agent… She has different goals that her husband. She is more grounded and confident in where she is as an individual and where they are as a couple. When she gets fed up with Rick’s daydreaming she plans to divorce him, throwing a wrench into all of his goals. They will both need to compromise in order to survive.

SUPPORTING CHARACTERS – CAROLINE – Fairy Helper… the ghost who believes she can reunite Rick and Samantha by giving them something to investigate.

DJINN – Villain… the evil force released to really damage the couple and give them a reason to work together and realize how much the want to stay together.

LIT AGENT – Bomb thrower… every time the action escalates or the stakes rise, it is because their Literary Agent has said or done something to make it harder for Rick and Sam to get back together.

MINOR ROLES – the other ghosts who live in their house who work with Caroline. B-story of two ghosts falling in love runs parallel to Rick and Sam falling out of love.

BACKGROUND CHARACTERS – None

GENRE – Hybrid… Supernatural Rom-Com

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Outline

What I learned doing this assignment is… there are many ways to do an outline, but they all involve breaking the character motivation down and integrating it within the necessary dramatic events that tell the story forward. You can tell when the story sags by where the character is in their journey.

Title: Broken Spirits

Genre: Supernatural Romantic-Comedy

Logline: When married ghost hunters plan to divorce, the spirits living in their house plot to reunite them

Act 1:

Opening – Rick and Samantha
were a formidable team who are now on different paths

INT. FARMHOUSE – DAY

MOVIE SEQUENCE TOLD FROM RICK’S POV: A ghost hunting couple uses an ancient ritual book and dowsing poles to cast an evil djinn into an ancient vessel. In the supernatural scuffle the wife is thrown across a room, her sweater gets caught on a door knob, she trips on the rug and knocked unconscious. (Shows the way Rick sees himself as the main hero deserving of recognition)

INT. BASEMENT STUDIO – NIGHT

REVEAL: The scene is a scene from a movie about their most famous case from a book they wrote.

RICK and SAMANTHA COFFEY IRL are hosting a webcast from their basement studio. They’re showing a scene from the movie about their life and work – Rick relives his greatest triumph.

INT. KITCHEN

Their agent says they have been offered the chance to pitch a reality show to producers.

HOPE: Rick Coffey hopes doing a reality series will resurrect his career as a ghost hunting.

Inciting Incident – They get
offered a reality series that would put their plans for a family on hold

INT. BEDROOM

LAYERS: They fight showing they have different plans and dreams for their future. Samantha warns that if they can’t start a family she will leave him.

WOUND: Rick feels inadequate and unsuccessful and fears not being able to support a family or being a failure as a role model.

INT. BASEMENT STUDIO

DILEMMA: An online caller calls Rick out for not being the master ghost hunter he claims

BETRAYAL: Samantha admits their success came from her and not Rick – he was the one unconscious.

MOTIVATION: Rick blurts out he is indeed a popular ghost hunter because he is doing a reality show.

So Samantha announces she is seeking a divorce.

Turning Point – Rick accepts
the offer without discussing it with Samantha and she files for divorce.

Act 2:

INT. BEDROOM – DAY

INTRIGUE: Set-up plot twist: Caroline, one of the ghosts who lives in the house believes she can gaslight the couple into reuniting. As Caroline explains the plan, two of the ghosts – the nurse and the cowboy are flirting. This is the first time the ghosts have really met or interacted and it’s like spring break in Daytona.

New plan – Caroline decides
to reunite the couple

INT. LIVING ROOM

CHARACTER ARCS: Rick and Samantha are miserable but unwilling to talk it out. Rick tells the agent he will pitch a solo reality show with him traveling the world seeking out paranormal activities. It sounds pathetic without Samantha. His ego will not let him admit he is lost without her or that he misses/needs her because he loves her.

Sam is depressed without Rick because she loves him but makes a choice to become a single mom because she will not let anyone dictate what her dreams and goals should be. Her dream is to be a mother and earn a living writing about paranormal encounters from home – not necessarily being in the field again. She calls Rick about the divorce (but really just to hear his voice) and it turns into a fight about her being able to be a single mom and him not being able to recreate the past.

INT. KITCHEN

PLAN/INTRIGUE/CHALLENGE: Ghosts puts “Operation Merry War” into effect.

As Sam argues with Rick, the plumbing in the kitchen goes wonky. Water spurts everywhere. Caroline believes it they create a haunted house, Samantha will call Rick and they will unite to ghost hunt, naturally rekindling what drew them together. Samantha learns from her lawyer that she can’t sell the house without Rick’s signature on a quitclaim deed.

INT. HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

OPERATION MERRY WAR continues. Furniture moves. Weird noises. Samantha has to fix the plumbing and goes into the basement. She has a paranormal experience – the ghosts briefly show themselves in an effort to scare her. She calls Rick who comes over with their agent.

Rick thinks she’s faking just to get him back (his ego!) Then Samantha hits him with signing over the deed so she can sell the house. But the deed goes missing (hidden by the ghosts). The agent tries to get Samantha to do the show offering anything but she still refuses. The ghosts scare the agent who flees. Samantha realizes the ghosts are doing this and demands to speak with Caroline.

MAJOR EVENT: When Caroline doesn’t show, Rick doesn’t believe Samantha about the ghosts manifesting. Samantha calls him useless, but agrees she needs a drink. After drinking, she and Rick are both tipsy and reminiscing. Caroline’s plan is starting to work. The cowboy and nurse having a B-story romance decide to use Rick and Sam’s bodies to have sex.

Sam and Rick wake up the morning after with complete memory loss. They have no idea what happened and Sam doesn’t remember – she thinks it was a one off backslide, he’s convinced he’s won her back.

The ghosts escalate their shenanigans, playing with the electricity as well as making sure Rick sees them and gets spooked. Finally, Rick believes there are spirits. He and Samantha put their heads together to decide what is the best course of action to stop the events. Of course they argue which creates more activities designed to keep them together.

LAYERS: Samantha figures out a way to contact Caroline and demands a confrontation. Caroline says she show Samantha where she put the deed.

Plan in action – Caroline
locks Samantha in the house and Rick has to rescue her

MAJOR TWIST: As Samantha goes to the room to get the deed, Caroline locks Samantha in the room with no way out. Only the room does not exist. It’s like she is now trapped in the walls.

Midpoint Turning Point –
Samantha is stuck and Rick does not know what to do.

DILEMMA: Rick is left alone in the house with ghosts he cannot see and no way of finding Samantha. He can only hear her voice. Rick has to stop the events on his own, and now rescue his wife. He has to rise up and be the ghost hunter he’s always claimed to be.

Act 3:

Rethink everything –
Samantha is unable to help so Rick has to become the ghost hunter his ego
always said he was.

INT. LIVING ROOM

Rick has to figure this out on his own. He scans the cases in their book and finds a similar case of a demon in the walls of a hotel. He thinks they can use one of the spells in their demonic ritual book locked in the safe. Samantha agrees and compliments him for coming up with that plan.

INT. BASEMENT

Rick opens the safe. The only things in there are an ancient ritual book and an old cell phone. He takes the book, but in his haste forgets to close the safe.

New plan – Rick remembers
the spell used for something else but it is in Farsi

INT. HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

DILEMMA/OBSTACLE: Rick tries to read the pages to Samantha, but they are in another language. Samantha helps him figure out it is Farsi. Fortunately, their agent is Persian and speaks Farsi. Rick manages to convince the agent to come back to the house even though she’s terrified.

CHARACTER ARC: As they work together, they talk out their issues. For the first time in months they are really starting to see each other, trust each other, support each other and they aren’t even in the same room.

FALSE HOPE: The agent translates the ritual for Rick and Samantha, as Rick takes the lead here and conducts the rite to rescue his wife and put the house back in order

INT. BASEMENT

ESCALATING OBSTACLE/DANGER: The agent hears a phone ringing. She tracks it to an odd place, inside the safe. As she answers the phone… It was a trap, the Djinn was trapped inside the phone and is now inside the agent’s body.

1^ST ENDGAME PROBLEM

Turning Point: Huge failure
/ Major shift – the djinn uses their Farsi-speaking friend as his human
vessel

Act 4:

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Rick and Samantha bind the Djinn to them, bringing the demon back just as he is about to kill a pedestrian

TWIST: The Djinn is bound to Rick and he leads the ritual to get the demon to leave the agent

CHALLENGE: The ghosts use their combined force to stop the djinn from thrashing and keeping things from flying at Rick and Samantha.

SET-BACK: The djinn uses the agent’s voice to try to convince them they are killing her.

It works as Samantha breaks concentration. The djinn attacks.

SOLVE 1^ST PROBLEM: But Rick finds the right combination, thinking to look up the djinn’s history from a case Samantha reported on as a journalist (which she didn’t think he’d read) to release the Djinn from the agent’s body.

INT. BASEMENT

Rick and Samantha corner the djinn in the basement.

2^ND ENDGAME PROBLEM:

Final plan – get rid of the
djinn by opening the dimensions that will lead him into the light

EVENT: Rick and Samantha open the heavenly portal whose light shining on the djinn breaks it into particles.

Climax/Ultimate expression
of the conflict – Samantha and Rick work together with Caroline and the
ghosts to open the heavenly dimension.
Resolution – the djinn is
released, two of their ghosts are able to move into the light, Rick and
Samantha reunite to work on a book about the experience and start a
family.

SOLVE 2^ND PROBLEM: As the djinn is PULLED INTO THE LIGHT,

TWIST: the cowboy returns for a brief second to invite the nurse to join him in heaven. She accepts. Caroline cries because it is so romantic.

INT. LIVING ROOM

RESOLVE CRISIS

Rick and Samantha inspect the damage and find the quitclaim deed. They rip it up and say no one will buy the house in this condition anyway

CHARACTER ARC COMPLETE: The remaining ghosts introduce themselves to Rick. The agent is now cognizant and insists this would make a great book. And this should be an episode of their reality show. They can go to Iran and all over the world investigating the origin of these demons.Rick decides he needs to stay and help Samantha clean up and stay close to home. He wants a child to pass all this down to. Happily ever after.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Transformational Journey

What I learned doing this assignment is how important it is to know the main character – from where they are to where they need to go in order to craft a story worthy of them.

RICK COFFEY – A 35 year-old paranormal investigator, married who works with his wife. She does most of the legwork and he takes the credit, being the face of their success. His fame is now waning and desperate to reclaim their renown after a failed movie about their experiences.

Internal Journey: Moves from shame and fear about not being the great ghost hunter he proclaims to being proud of the resourceful skills he does have which will allow him to work with and show love/pride for his wife and her accomplishments instead of trying to outshine her.

External Journey: Moves from selfish boor demanding a reality show to show off his success to humbly working with his wife to get rid of a demon in their house and win his back wife’s affection. He’s also now willing to start a family he’d always put off.

Old Ways: Snarky, selfish, boaster who thinks way more of himself than he should. Believes his wife will follow his dreams of international fame and success while putting her goals second until they have what he says is enough money to start a family.

New Ways: Now more humble, he respects his wife’s proficiency and knows he has a lot to learn. Willing to listen to his wife and let her teach him the skills needed to revive their ghost hunting success. He becomes able to openly talk about his inner wounds and motivations to put their marriage back on solid ground.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle Jackson’s Budget

What I learned doing this assignment is budget is a consideration for most producers and managers working on spec sales. Every bit of action, costuming, special effect or anything short of filming actors on a bare stage costs money needs to be considered.

MY CONTAINED SCREENPLAY

Main Variables

Locations – 1 haunted house set; potential cutaway shots – bookstore, street, auditorium, hotel room

Characters – 4 human, 5 ghosts

Special Effects – tons

Fight Scenes – 1 finale battle

Special Sets – A rigged basement with trap doors

Secondary Variables

Green Screen

Extensive Make-up

Base – 95 pages @$5 mil; quadrupled – add more special effects, green screen, make-up, actors, a crowd scene and outdoor locations

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle Writes Great Hope/Fear

What I learned doing this assignment is that my process is so one-dimensional compared to all of the layers involved in creating a great dynamic character. Most of what is on screen I usually think see as depth the actor brings, but if there is a way to create the emotional ups and downs on the page it will give the actors more to work with and entice them to sign on to the project.

Act I

HOPE: Rick Coffey hopes doing a reality series will resurrect his career as a ghost hunting.

WARNING: His wife Samantha tells him she is not interested in resuming fieldwork.

HOPE: Rick believes he can bargain and convince Samantha and lure her with money.

IGNORANCE: But he does not realize Samantha’s will is just as strong.

HOPE: He can continue the show solo

FEAR: He hasn’t the skills to go solo

INCOMPATIBILITY: Samantha has filed for divorce.

End of Act I – MARRIAGE COLLAPSING

Act II

HOPE: Rick believes he can win back Sam

FEAR: The reality show only wants them as a couple.

DANGER: Samantha plans to sell the house and keep most of the assets.

THREAT: Rick’s anger and ego explodes and he agrees to a divorce

HOPE: The ghosts living in their house want to reunite the couple

SEPARATION: Rick and Samantha have stopped speaking.

HOPE: Caroline the ghost lures Rick back by creating ghostly disturbances in the house.

FAILURE: Samantha is on to Caroline’s plan and won’t play along.

HOPE: Rick is not as smart as Samantha and is lured back on the pre-text of negotiation

HOPE: Caroline locks Samantha in a room and only Rick casting the right ritual can undo the locked door spell.

ISOLATION: Rick is inept and can’t figure it out alone

OBSTACLE: Caroline loses the spell.

HOPE: Rick and Caroline will find another way to get Samantha out.

DANGER: Samantha warns them if they use another ritual it could unlock all the doors – even the one keeping their most evil spirit away.

HOPE: Rick and Caroline hope they can do a modified version.

SUCCESS: The spell works and Samantha gets out of the room.

DANGER: But their agent who is alone at the moment the doors unlock, accidentally unleashes the demon.

CATASTROPHE: The demon goes into the agent, stealing her body to take a human form and wreck havoc.

End of Act II – DEMON DESTROYING THE HOUSE AND INHABITANTS

Act III

HOPE: Rick and Samantha must unite to save their friend and send the demon away

HOPE: Caroline hopes the ghosts can help

FEAR: They have no idea how to contain the demon who has taken over a human

HOPE: They use a ritual they used when they were first starting out and falling in love

OBSTACLE: The ritual will open up both heaven and hell

THREAT: There is a danger of unleashing more spirits back to this plane.

HOPE: Rick believes with Sam’s help he can do it.

UH-OH: They open the portal and an army of ghosts come through.

HOPE: They learn some of the ghosts are friendly and allies

FINAL BATTLE: Rick and Samantha use the ritual to send the demons back to hell and rescue their friend.

RESULT: Their original demon gets trapped in the other dimension and Caroline’s long lost love is one of the allies who can escort her into the light – to live happily ever after.

LAST MOMENT: Rick gets his wish to recount the story to great success and Samantha gets her wish for Rick to continuing working from home and starting a family.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle Jackson’s 4-Act Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is… it helps to do a first pass purely on instinct. Then once the bones of the story are together, it is easier to add layers and dimensions to enhance each element.

Concept – When a couple
working as paranormal investigators decide to divorce, the ghosts living
in their house try to reunite them accidentally unleashing a demon trying
to kill them all.
Main Conflict – The
estranged couple (Rick and Samantha) are not talking to one another and
won’t work together to save their own lives.

Act 1:

Opening – Rick and
Samantha were a formidable team who are now on different paths
Inciting Incident – They
get offered a reality series that would put their plans for a family on
hold
Turning Point – Rick
accepts the offer without discussing it with Samantha and she files for
divorce.

Act 2:

New plan – Caroline
decides to reunite the couple
Plan in action – Caroline
locks Samantha in the house and Rick has to rescue her
Midpoint Turning Point – Samantha
figures out what is happening and tries to get Caroline to give Rick the
correct ritual to let her out but Rick cannot find the correct ritual to
undo the spell.

Act 3:

Rethink everything – Caroline
and the ghosts want Rick to unite with Samantha but that means Rick would
have to give in so Rick decides to release the evil djinn
New plan – Rick will do a
spell in reverse to get Samantha out and show her they can still be a team
by recapturing the djinn
Turning Point: Huge
failure / Major shift – the djinn wants to kill Caroline, Rick and
Samantha and uses their friend as his human vessel

Act 4:

Final plan – get rid of
the djinn by opening the dimensions that will lead him into the light
Climax/Ultimate
expression of the conflict – Samantha and Rick work together with Caroline
and the ghosts to open the heavenly dimension.
Resolution – the djinn is
released, Caroline is able to move into the light, Rick and Samantha
reunite to work on a book about the experience and start a family.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle Jackson Delivering Multiple Layers

What I learned doing this assignment is… I can tell whether my story is on the right track when I dig into the layers. If a story doesn’t work, the layers won’t make sense.

PLOT – Surface layer: A ritual will contain the evil djinn

Beneath that: The ritual opens gateways to the next world

How revealed: A good spirit comes to collect Caroline for Heaven

——————-

CHARACTER 1 – Surface layer: Rick wants to do a reality show about his success

Beneath that: Rick doesn’t know what he’s talking about and takes the credit for Samantha’s success

How revealed: Samantha answers the questions from viewers that Rick cannot

CHARACTER 2 – Surface layer: Samantha wants to retire from ghost hunting

Beneath that: Samantha wants to start a family

How revealed: She goes off her birth control

CHARACTER 3 – Surface layer: Caroline plans to reunite Rick and Samantha

Beneath that: Caroline needs someone to love and be loved by

How revealed: Caroline’s keepsake from her long dead sweetheart

—————–

LOCATION – Surface layer: The old house is a fixer upper

Beneath that: Odd electrical and plumbing mishaps; antiques in the office seen to change position.

How revealed: Ghosts come out of the antiques to run the house

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle Jackson Character Journey

What I learned from this assignment… the character journey enhances the plot. By focusing on one character journey at a time I came up with lovely plot lines that will dovetail seamlessly with the themes and emotional arc of the overall story.

RICK – Beginning: Wants to resurrect his fame and fortune as a pre-eminent ghost hunter

Turning Point: Gets an offer to do a reality show as a couple with his wife, but his wife wants a divorce

Midpoint: He realizes his own house is haunted and he needs to rescue Sam who the ghosts have locked in a room with an evil djinn that he released for a P.R. moment.

Turning Point 2: Rick uses their agent to translate a text that releases Sam

Dilemma: But the djinn takes the agent in replace of Sam as a hostage

3rd Act Climax: The ghosts join forces with Rick and Sam to create an opening in the spirit world that allows the djinn to go into the light and brings Caroline’s lost love to guide her as well.

Ending: Rick realizes his love for Sam overshadows all other material goals. He and Sam reunite to write the sequel to their book and are having a baby.

—

SAM Beginning: Happy with her marriage and the work they do and is now ready to start a family.

Turning Point: Rick blatantly goes back on a promise to consider having a child and she decides to get a divorce to move forward alone.

Midpoint: The ghosts in their house have locked her in a room and are trying to force her to reconsider getting a divorce.

Turning Point 2: Rick risks his life to rescue Samantha but accidentally releases an evil entity.

Dilemma: Their literary agent is taken by the djinn and they have to unite to save her and themselves.

3rd Act Climax: Samantha gives Rick the key that opens the light to the next world allowing the djinn to pass out of this world.

Ending: Samantha realizes she needs Rick as much as he needs her and they reunite.

—

CAROLINE Beginning: A happy ghost living in an old home being fixed up by Rick and Sam – happily waiting for Sam to get pregnant.

Turning Point: The human couple decides to not only divorce, but plan to sell the house and maybe even sell to a contractor who will tear the house down.

Midpoint: She makes a deal with Rick that will make him look like a hero and rescue Sam but the plan backfires when it accidentally releases the djinn.

Turning Point 2: The djinn is evil and plans to kill them all.

Dilemma: The djinn releases Sam but takes another human as hostage – inhabits her body and plans to burn the place down and send them all to the dark limbo

3rd Act Climax: They follow Sam’s lead and open the gate to let the light in.

Ending: The heaven stream brings in Caroline’s lost love who escorts her spirit into the light for a happy ending.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Character Depth

What I learned doing this assignment is… finding my character’s inner journey is easier than finding the forum to post this assignment.

RICK COFFEY

Internal

Motivation: To be wealthy, famous and well-respected as the premiere ghost hunter in the industry

Secret: He does not know what he is doing; his wife is the real ghost hunter

Wound: His lack of wealth and new things made the superficial kids at his school laugh at him and girls he liked ridiculed him for being lower middle class

Subtext: He gets inner confidence from how others view him/prop him up – he insults Sam because she is too good for him and doesn’t feel her equal

Layers: He wants to use his skills but his skills are in P.R. not the science of ghost hunting and will sacrifice his present relationship until he can raise himself up to Sam’s level because he doesn’t think he deserves her

Character to Character

Conflict: He wants to be famous. She wants to be a family

Hidden Agenda: He uses a spell book which releases the Djinn so he and Sam can put it back and write another book (doesn’t tell Sam his plan)

Conspiracy: With their agent to get a reality show to thwart Sam’s family plan

Intrigue: Allows the Agent to be put in danger in Act 2 so Sam will come back and help rescue her.

Character Situation

Dilemma: He wants the reality show but needs his wife and a family life

Secret Identity: N/A

SAMANTHA COFFEY

Internal

Motivation: To have a normal family and life off their modest success

Secret: She is the brains behind the operation

Wound: Didn’t have a father in her life

Subtext: She has to be independent because she can’t completely trust her husband to be a father

Layers: A smart, independent, accomplished woman with natural ability to speak to ghosts is marginalized but she doesn’t care because he real goal is to be a writer/journalist investigating ghost stories.

Character to Character

Conflict: Sam wants to have a child and be a writer while Rick wants to ghost hunt for fame and fortune

Hidden Agenda: She stops taking her birth control (tells him in Act I)

Conspiracy: N/A

Intrigue: N/A

Character Situation

Dilemma: Wants a divorce so she can move on but she is stuck in the haunted house with ghosts who want her to reconcile with her husband who is ineptly trying to rid the house of ghosts.

Secret Identity: The real ghost hunter

CAROLINE

Internal

Motivation: To get Rick and Sam back together to keep romantic status quo

Secret: Unrequited love led to her death

Wound: A governess who was denied true love

Subtext: True love endures

Layers: A hopeless romantic who believes love across time is the greatest love of all but is living vicariously through Rick and Sam because she is afraid her man dumped her. (HE DIDN’T WAS KILLED ON THE WAY BACK TO HER)

Character to Character

Conflict: Sam wants a Divorce and will sell the house – Who will get her and will she be stuck in limbo without a loving home

Hidden Agenda: To have a baby to be governess to

Conspiracy: With the other ghosts to reunite Rick and Sam

Intrigue: Uses ghost tricks and locks Sam in a room so Rick will have to rescue her

Character Situation

Dilemma: How does a ghost reunite her patrons

Secret Identity: N/A

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Right Characters

What I learned doing this assignment is…characters are how the story makes sense to the audience. If the plot is driven by a character totally unincorporated to the plot the logic is lost. An idea may be what pulls in a reader, but an engrossing character is what keeps a reader reading.

Main Characters

Ghost hunting couple in a haunted house

They are uniquely qualified to exorcise the demons because they are believers already.

Husband – Full of bluster who always has an answer for everything and gets it wrong. He may believe in spirits, but they are not afraid of him.

Wife – Living in a haunted house and more proficient in ghost hunting, but she is more interested in her living family so the shenanigans of the house are annoying

Ghost – Loves romantic novel. Seeing the bickering couple brings out her desire to be a matchmaker through the means she has available which is haunting to attract ghost busters.

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle Jackson’s Great Hook

A> The process was not my favorite because I wasn’t relaxed and put too much pressure on myself to brainstorm – so of course I wasn’t getting any flow of ideas.

B> What I learned from this assignment is you can’t rush your ideas. Trying to fit a square peg into a round hole just to meet a deadline is not the way. But practicing the process will make it easier each time until the ideas brainstorm more efficiently.

HAVING TO DO WITH HAUNTED HOUSES WHAT HAVEN’T WE SEEN BEFORE? >

CURRENT COMPONENTS >

A. Couple

B. House

C. Odd disturbances

D. Ghosts

EXCHANGE >

A. Couple

– Family

– Friends

– Co-workers

– Frenemies

– Strangers at cross-purpose

B. House

– Barn

– Bar

– Hotel

– Secluded cabin

– Lakefront vacation home

– Urban townhouse

– Apartment – inner city projects

C. Odd disturbances

– Natural disaster

– Electrical disturbances

– People who antagonize

– Run down building

– Outside influence force seclusion

– Animal attack

D. Ghosts

– UFOs

– Demons

– People pranks

– Children

– Imaginary disturbances

[Gayle Jackson]

Gayle’s Guidelines for THE MADNESS OF KING GEORGE

What I learned doing this assignment was…

The contained location and minimal characters are not the only consideration in writing a contained script. Even the Sci-Fi contained movies have a basis in reality and are not so grandiose which makes it easier to follow the Covid guidelines.

ASSIGNMENT pt. 1:

Coming up the ideas wasn’t the hard thing. Even keeping the location to one predominant area was not too difficult. The hardest thing is giving consideration to the Hair & Make-up, Stunts and Wardrobe Depts. The idea of quarantining and keeping a limited make-up station is vexing. I am finding I may require a great deal of CGI which would increase the budget and defeat the lowest cost purpose.

ASSIGNMENT pt. 2:

THE MADNESS OF KING GEORGE

AS THEY DID IT:

A. People – A large family; members of Parliament; Royal staff and Hospital staff

B. Stunts – Physical exercise – running across fields; light grappling

C. Extras – at court; at the hospital; in Parliament; crowds in the street

D. Wardrobe – late 18^th century from all walks of life in England

E. Hair and Make Up – Extravagant wigs both male and female

F. Kids and Animals – both for the family

G. Quarantine – huge cast and crew

COVID GUIDELINE VERSION:

A. People – keep the major players in the family and only two MPs and the Doctor

B. Stunts – remove all physical activity

C. Extras – cut the crowd scenes at court; focus hospital and Parliament scenes on private conversations or from characters POV so to allude but not see crowds

D. Wardrobe – Will need 1 dresser to assist

E. Hair and Make Up – Will need 1 to assist

F. Kids and Animals – cut – only include oldest two sons

G. Quarantine – cutting extras limits need