[Gina Coviello]

Gina’s Outline (first draft)

Title: Pressure Point (not the official title)

Genre: Action Thriller

Logline: A medical research team finds themselves trapped in their deep sea lab after an ocean earthquake damages the base, communication, and life support systems.

(ACT 1)

1. EXT. OCEAN – DAY

OPENING: A calm day on the ocean’s surface. But below, a two-person submarine travels down into the deep, until it comes upon a deep sea laboratory on the ocean floor. The submarine docks.

2. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY HALLWAY – DAY

MARCUS exits the sub into the base. There is no one there. He calls out a hello, and then hears voices. He heads that way.

3. INT. LENA’S LAB – DAY

In a lab, DR. LENA COLE and DR. NADINE WEXLER are arguing over each other’s methods and the lack of progress to date. Nadine’s system isn’t able to access the classified system in Lena’s lab. Marcus enters, interrupting the heated discussion. Lena apologizes for not meeting him when he arrived and offers to show him around on their way to the security office.

4. INT. ISAAC’S LIVING QUARTERS – DAY

CJ (Isaac): In his private chamber, DR. ISAAC GRAYSON hears Lena and Marcus coming toward him. He quickly pockets a prescription bottle of pills. (FEAR / SECRET – he’s hiding his drug use from everyone.) Lena introduces him to Marcus, and they continue on. Isaac closes the door, pulls out the pills, and takes two. (1)

5. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY HALLWAY – DAY

Lena and Marcus walk past another lab, where DR. OLIVER BRENNAN is working. He is laser-focused on his work and doesn’t notice them. Best not to bother him when he’s like this. They continue on.

6. INT. SECURITY OFFICE – DAY

CJ (Keller): IT expert KELLER sits at the control board, manning the video monitors and system. As he hears voices coming, he quickly types and submits something on the system moments before Lena and Marcus arrive. Keller is surprisingly friendly, considering an additional security expert has been hired to oversee operations here. (HOPE) As Lena gets ready to head back to her lab, Marcus hands her a package from the facility on land.

7. INT. NADINE’S LAB – DAY

CJ (Nadine): Nadine is working in her lab, scribbling formulas in a notebook, looking at cells under a microscope. Her computer DINGS with a new message – an encrypted email, threatening her family if she doesn’t deliver. (FEAR / SECRET) (2)

7.5 – INT. SECURITY OFFICE – DAY

PLACEHOLDER – NEED A SCENE BETWEEN MARCUS AND KELLER – Keller is friendly, but what he says and the way he says it can be taken in a different way, like maybe he’s not so friendly.

8. INT. LENA’S LAB – DAY

CJ (Lena): Lena opens the package from Marcus – a sample of a new virus that has been discovered, as well as a flash drive with reports and other information, expressing the urgency of their studies (FEAR). She puts it aside, disregarding it, and pulls up another file, medical charts of another person infected with a rare virus – her child (SECRET). She looks at the far wall in her lab, where venomous marine creatures float in large tanks. Isaac interrupts her, asks if she is going to come by later, she tells him yes.

9. INT. DINING AREA – EVENING

Lena, Nadine, Marcus, Isaac, and Keller sit around a table, eating dinner, comparing notes. (HOPE) Keller has a tablet that remotely displays the monitors and systems. Where’s Oliver? Still in his lab.

10. INT. OLIVER’S LAB – NIGHT

Oliver analyzes virus cells under a scope. He adds a drop of a potential cure, but it doesn’t work. Frustrated, he types notes into the computer. Lena rounds the corner with a plate of food. He needs to eat, but he really shouldn’t be eating in the room with the deadly pathogens.

11. INT. ISAAC’S OFFICE – NIGHT

WOUND (Lena): Lena and Isaac sit in plush chairs across from each other. He’s the group’s therapist, not her lover. He asks about her daughter and if there has been any progress on her condition. He is the only one who knows that she is sick.

12. INT. LENA’S LAB – DAY

CJ (Lena): Lena pulls out a vial of venom collected from a box jellyfish, and a blood sample labeled “Patient L.” She prepares two slides, placing a drop of blood on one slide and a drop of venom on the other. She inspects them under the microscope, and then combines them, looking again. (INTRIGUE) She sighs, frustrated that she hasn’t found a solution yet. (3)

13. INT. OLIVER’S LAB – DAY

Oliver draws a syringe-full of another virus culture.

INCITING INCIDENT: An ocean earthquake rattles the station, damaging areas and wreaking havoc with the computer systems.

CJ (Oliver): As he dispenses a drop on the slide, an earthquake rattles the lab and he accidentally sticks himself with the needle. He’s infected?? He hangs on to his table until the quake settles. He rushes to the sink, scrubs the area vigorously and bandages it, like nothing happened. (FEAR)

14. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY HALLWAY – DAY

The other doctors rush into the hallway to see if everyone is alright. Marcus is not far behind. Oliver speaks to the others, but won’t join them in the hallway. He stays in the doorway to his lab.

15. INT. SECURITY OFFICE – DAY

TURNING POINT: Keller checks the systems and tells the others that everything is sound and is up and running. (HOPE) While no one is looking, he sends out an encrypted message. But Nadine sees him doing it.

(ACT 2)

16. INT. SECURITY OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

NEW PLAN/PLAN IN ACTION: Marcus comes up with a plan for everyone to assess the damage to determine if it is safe to continue their work. Marcus will check the structural integrity of the base, Keller the computer systems, and the doctors will check their labs to make sure the contagions are secure. Off they go, but Nadine doesn’t go far.

17. INT. SECURITY OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER

Keller pulls a flash drive out of his pocket and inserts it into the computer. He begins copying data and downloading files. He pulls out a secret laptop, attaches a few files and sends out an encrypted email.

CJ (Nadine): Nadine is in the doorway, watching him without his knowledge. Now she knows he is working for the people who are blackmailing her by threatening her family. She confronts him. He intimidates her by repeating the threats from his employer. (CONSPIRACY)

18. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY – DAY

Marcus moves through the base from one end to the other, using his phone camera to make note of any cracks, anything out of place, any reason to be alarmed. Aside from some minor damage, the structure remains sound.

19. INT. OLIVER’S LAB – DAY

Oliver needs to cure himself before he infects the crew or dies. The race is on. He goes back to work and forgets to look over his lab. He doesn’t notice that the bolts holding the refrigerated case of virus vials to the wall are loose.

20. INT. NADINE’S LAB – DAY

Nadine is searching all of the files on the system, but can’t find any information on the virus they are looking for. The information is on the classified system in Lena’s lab.

21. INT. DINING HALL – NIGHT

The group discusses the base and any areas of concern. Keller reports that he checked the computer systems and that everything is operational. (FALSE HOPE) He also tells them that he spoke with the facility on land, and they ordered them to continue working, as the base and system are secure. Oliver stops in the doorway, tells them his area is good. But he doesn’t look good. Lena wants to examine him, but he says he just needs some sleep. (DREAD)

22. INT. LENA’S LAB – LATE NIGHT

Nadine slips in and uses the hack Keller gave her to access the secure system. (6) She finds the virus they are looking for and begins downloading the information. She looks around the lab and sees the vials marked “Patient L.” She searches the system and finds the files. They are about Lena’s daughter. Nadine downloads those files as well, and slips out.

23. INT. SECURITY OFFICE – LATE NIGHT

Keller slips in and sabotages a part of the system, making sure that communications with the surface can’t come back online. (FEAR)

24. INT. NADINE’S LAB – LATE NIGHT

Nadine fires up her system, but instead of working on the virus for Keller, she chooses Lena’s files and begins working on a solution to that instead.

24.5 PLACEHOLDER – Add another scene here to split up Nadine working in the evening and then the next morning. Or maybe put Keller’s sabotage scene between these two Nadine scenes.

25. INT. NADINE’S LAB – MORNING

Nadine hasn’t left her lab since last night and is still working on the cure for Lena’s daughter. She finds something Lena missed in incorporating the venom into a possible cure. She downloads all of the data onto a flash drive and pockets it.

26. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY HALLWAY – MORNING

Marcus walks the halls, double checking the structure. He sees the tiniest of cracks with a slow bead of water appearing.

27. EXT. MEDICAL FACILITY – DAY

MIDPOINT TURNING POINT: A second, more powerful quake hits.

28. INT. OLIVER’S LAB – DAY

CJ (Oliver): The refrigerated unit storing virus cultures disconnects from the wall and crashes to the ground. Oliver immediately collapses. (FEAR) (Dilemma for Oliver – Does he risk infecting everyone to possibly save himself?)

28.5 INT. MEDICAL FACILITY HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

The tiny crack that Marcus was looking at splits open, water gushing in. It knocks him on his ass and slides him down the hall. He regains his footing and starts running toward the doorway. The doors begin to close. He hauls ass and baseball slides through the door just as it slams closed, catching the tail end of his jacket and cutting it in two.

29. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY HALLWAY – DAY

Nadine runs down the hall toward Oliver’s lab.

30. INT. LENA’S LAB – DAY

The cases in Lena’s lab holding the venomous marine life break, sending the creatures and hundreds of gallons of water out into the lab. Lena dives onto her desk as a sea snake lunges for her, then swims away. As the base begins to fill with water, the rest swim away unseen, through the flooding corridors. (FEAR)

31. INT. OLIVER’S LAB – DAY

CJ (Oliver): Oliver sees Nadine stumbling toward his lab to help him. He drags himself across the floor and slams the door lock button to seal himself inside.

32. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY HALLWAY – DAY

CJ (Oliver): The others watch helplessly as Oliver dies. (DEATH)

33. INT. SECURITY OFFICE – DAY

CJ (Keller): Now despite actually trying, Keller can’t get the communications system up and running. He tells the others he can do it, that he just needs a little time, but he is lying. The systems have failed. They are on their own. (FEAR) He looks through the system at the areas that are still accessible in the facility, planning to escape in one of the submarines, leaving them all behind. (CONSPIRACY?) The base’s safety system slams down several of the watertight doors, containing the worst of the damage and flooding. For now.

(ACT 3)

34. INT. NADINE’S LAB – LATER

RETHINK EVERYTHING: Despite the current danger of their situation, after the death of Oliver, Lena makes the call that everyone must be tested for any contagions before they are unleashed on the surface. Keller balks at this, but the rest are in agreement, knowing they can’t risk bringing deadly pathogens to the surface. (FEAR)

Isaac draws blood from everyone including himself, and will use the lab to run it through a battery of tests. It’s best if everyone returns to their quarters.

35. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

As they wade through the knee-high water, Marcus watches Keller, beginning to mistrust him. But his main concern is getting everyone out safely. (HOPE)

36. INT. DINING AREA – AFTERNOON

Keller confronts Nadine, threatening that if she doesn’t get what they want and get him out of there, he'll make sure they know how uncooperative she is being. (FEAR)

37. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

Lena stops short of the door to the dining area and overhears the exchange, but she only caught the tail end and what she hears is too vague with no real proof of any wrongdoing.

38. INT. MARCUS’S LIVING QUARTERS – AFTERNOON

There is a knock at the door. Marcus opens it to find Lena there, and he lets her in. She tells him her concerns about Nadine and Keller. He admits his mistrust of Keller, but advises her to not accuse anyone without proof. If they’re up to something, they’ll keep their guards up around us. If they’re not, you won’t damage any relationships. (HOPE)

39. INT. NADINE’S LAB – EVENING

Isaac informs them that everyone is cleared, no one else is infected.

NEW PLAN: Marcus orders them to gather up whatever data and research they need, because they are evacuating in 10 minutes. (HOPE)

CJ (Nadine): Nadine stays behind to clear out her research. When everyone has left, she opens a drawer and pulls out a small plastic zip-lock bag, seals the flash drive inside it, and puts it back in her pocket.

40. INT. LENA’S LAB – EVENING

CJ (Lena): Lena wades through her lab to gather her data for evacuation. Before she can gather anything, the lab begins to flood. The data to save her child will be lost. She knows that the safety of her peers and getting them out is more important, and even though it kills her to do so, she abandons the research rather than jeopardize everyone’s lives by holding up the evacuation. (Dilemma for Lena – Does she risk them all dying in the failing lab in order to find a cure for her dying child, or save everyone else and risk losing her?)

41. INT. LENA’S LAB – CONTINUOUS

CJ (Lena): The rising water in her lab shifts the equipment and blocks the doorway, trapping her inside. She calls for help. (FEAR)

42. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

Marcus is heading that way and hears her. He rushes to her, dislodging the debris and freeing her. (HOPE)

43. EXT. MEDICAL FACILITY – CONTINUOUS

TURNING POINT: Huge Failure/Major Shift: The earthquake caused a landslide, and the base is shifting toward the edge of the ocean floor where it drops off into darkness. (FEAR)

44. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

CJ (Isaac): Isaac wades through the rising water toward Lena’s lab, not knowing Marcus already evacuated her. He pushes through the debris and heads her way. The security system of the base senses the flooding section and locks it down, trapping him inside. (TRAGEDY)

45. INT. SECURITY OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

CJ (Keller): Looking at the failing monitors, Keller sees Isaac trapped in the flooding room, but can’t override the system and save him. The damage he did to the system can’t be overturned now that the base is shutting down. (FEAR) (Dilemma for Keller – How is he going to get out of there with the files and without anyone stopping him?)

46. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

CJ (Isaac): Trapped in the flooded corridor, Isaac drowns. (DEATH)

47. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

Marcus gets them to the two-person submarines, but the doors are crushed from the pressure of the ocean and they can’t get to them to escape. He turns to Keller for help with the systems, but Keller has disappeared. (BETRAYAL)

Lena turns on Nadine, and she confesses that she is being blackmailed, that they threatened her family, that Keller was sent there to watch her. But at the same time, he is stealing the base’s research and secrets to sell to their competitor. But she planned to give them the virus with one component missing, and send their company the virus and its cure, rendering it useless to the bioterrorists. (HOPE)

Marcus tries to access the failing system but is unsuccessful. Nadine hands him the hack that Keller gave her. He is able to get into the system and see that Keller compromised the base, and the messages from the surface ordering them to evacuate before the second quake came in. The only reason they didn’t evacuate immediately is because Keller didn’t have what he needed. There’s only one other way out, and that bastard is going to take it and leave them there to die. (TERROR)

(ACT 4)

48. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

FINAL PLAN: As the three of them race to the submersible, the rest of the base floods with water. They’re running out of time! As they slog through the water, the levels climb higher and higher. (FEAR)

49. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY – CONTINUOUS

CLIMAX: Ultimate Expression of Conflict:

CJ (Keller): Keller heads to the submersible ahead of the others, fully intending to leave them behind. He comes to an area completely flooded, and has to swim through to get to the next air pocket. The sea snake brushes past him, startling him. He takes a deep breath and dives in, swimming toward the next room.

As he swims, the box jellyfish swims dangerously nearby, but Keller doesn’t see it. He is focused on getting to the next air pocket. The jellyfish brushes its tentacles into Keller and stings him. Keller flails around in the water trying to get it off of him, but goes into cardiac arrest. He sinks to the bottom of the corridor and dies. (DEATH)

50. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY – CONTINUOUS

Marcus, Lena, and Nadine arrive at the flooded section. They must swim through the corridor to get to the next air pocket, not knowing if there is a way out. Lena confesses she is not a good swimmer. (FEAR)

Marcus rips some wiring off of the wall and ties it around Lena’s hand and the other end around his own. He tells her to help as much as she can, and to not let go. He asks Nadine about her abilities, and she says she was captain of the swim team in college. (HOPE)

Nadine dives in first, and swims through the corridor. Marcus and Lena follow right behind her. Marcus is a strong swimmer, but he has to help Lena by pulling her along. As they swim, something brushes Lena’s leg. She turns to look and sees Keller’s dead body floating next to her. (PANIC)

CJ (Lena): As she flails around trying to get away from him, she takes in water and begins to drown. Marcus hauls her along until they get to the chamber where there is air. Nadine helps Marcus heave Lena to the platform. She’s not breathing. (TRAGEDY)

Marcus begins giving her CPR. After a few agonizing moments, Lena coughs up the water and regains consciousness. (HOPE)

51. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY SUBMERSIBLE HATCH – CONTINUOUS

(HOPE) Lena, Marcus and Nadine get to the submersible. Lena sees a coat hanging inside it. Shivering, she puts it on. But…

52. INT. SUBMERSIBLE – CONTINUOUS

Once inside, they see that it can’t be jettisoned from the inside. There is too much damage to the interior controls. (FEAR)

(HOPE) While Marcus and Lena rush to find a solution…

CJ (Nadine): Nadine slips the flash drive out of her pocket and into Lena’s without her noticing.

53. INT. MEDICAL FACILITY SUBMERSIBLE HATCH – CONTINUOUS

CJ (Nadine): Nadine slips out and seals the hatch from the outside. Lena sees and runs to the door, trying to talk Nadine into changing her mind. Nadine tells her to take care of her daughter, to save her, and hits the eject button, sacrificing herself to save them.

54. INT. SUBMERSIBLE – CONTINUOUS

RESOLUTION: Lena and Marcus watch the base and Nadine slide off the shelf into the dark abyss of the ocean… (TRAGEDY)

55. EXT. OCEAN – CONTINUOUS

(HOPE) As they rise up to the surface, the beacon on the submersible calls to the land station. They open the top hatch and breathe fresh air. Lena puts her hands in the pockets of the jacket to warm herself. She looks puzzled, and pulls out the flash drive that Nadine slipped to her. They are finally free. (I may or may not give them one more trial on their way up to the surface, I just haven’t brainstormed that yet.) (7)

• This reply was modified 9 months ago by  Gina Coviello. Reason: Because every time I post an assignment for the first time, even though I leave spaces, it posts it as one huge paragraph

[Gina Coviello]

Gina's Title, Genre, and Logline

Title: Pressure Point (still working on the title)

Genre: Action Thriller

Logline: A medical research team finds themselves trapped in their deep sea lab after an ocean earthquake damages the base, communication, and life support systems.

I'm still working on the outline, and hope to have it posted no later than Tuesday (10/8). If anyone is interested in exchanging critiques, please reach out. Thanks!

• This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by  Gina Coviello.
• This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by  Gina Coviello.

[Gina Coviello]

Gina’s Character Journeys!

What I learned doing this assignment is… This one was probably the hardest assignment for me (as evident by how long it took me to post this one…). For some reason, it was a lot easier for me to come up with a 3-Act character journey for someone who was going to be killed off, rather than the ones who make it to the end. In any case, I think having this as a starting point for my characters will help me plan out the full story, and still leave room for edits and changes before the actual writing takes place. I also discovered that my beginning for all of the scientists is them working in their labs, which is pretty boring. So I’m going to have to mix that up a bit. There’s still some stuff missing, but I think (hope) it will come to me as I work on the outline passes.

3-Act Journey for Lena

Beginning – Lena greets Marcus as he arrives for his 6-week shift at the station. She introduces him to the crew, and shows him to the surveillance area where he meets Keller, before heading back to her lab.

Turning Point – She opens the package from Marcus – a sample of a new virus that has been discovered, as well as a flash drive with reports and other information, expressing the urgency of their studies. She puts it aside and pulls up another file, medical charts of another person infected with a rare virus – her child.

Midpoint – Despite the current danger of their situation, after the death of Oliver, Lena makes the call that everyone must be tested for any contagions before they are unleashed on the surface. Keller balks at this, but the rest are in agreement, knowing they can’t risk bringing deadly pathogens to the surface.

Turning Point 2 – Everyone is cleared. Lena goes to her lab to gather her data for evacuation. Before she can get there, the lab begins to flood. The data to save her child is lost. She knows that the safety of her peers and getting them out is more important, and even though it kills her to do so, she abandons the research rather than jeopardize everyone’s lives by holding up the evacuation.

Dilemma – Does she risk them all dying in the failing lab in order to find a cure for her dying child, or save everyone else and risk losing her?

3rd Act Climax –

Ending – Lena and Marcus watch the base and Nadine slide off the shelf into the dark abyss of the ocean as they rise up to the surface, finally free. (Will give them one more trial on their way up to the surface, I just haven’t brainstormed that yet.)

3-Act Journey for Nadine

Beginning – Nadine and Lena butt heads over each other’s methods.

Turning Point – She catches Keller sending encrypted files. Now she knows he is working for the people who are blackmailing her by threatening her family.

Midpoint – She sneaks into Lena’s lab, the classified area, and searches the mainframe / hard drive for the files on the virus that the (terrorists) want. While looking, she stumbles across the files on Lena’s child. She downloads that as well.

Turning Point 2 –

Dilemma –

3rd Act Climax – Once inside the submersible, they see that there is too much damage and it can’t be controlled from the inside. While Marcus and Lena rush to find a solution, Nadine slips out, seals the hatch from the outside, and hits the eject button, sacrificing herself to save them.

Ending – Nadine watches them rise up to safety as she and the base slide off the shelf and plummet into the dark abyss.

3-Act Journey for Marcus

Beginning – Marcus is brought down to the base in the two-person submarine, and is met by Lena, the lead medical researcher. He gives her a package from the station on the surface.

Turning Point –

Midpoint – Marcus doesn’t trust Keller, but his main concern is getting everyone out safely.

Turning Point 2 – Marcus gets them to the two-person submarines, but the doors are crushed from the pressure of the ocean and they can’t get to them to escape.

Dilemma –

3rd Act Climax –

Ending – Marcus and Lena watch the base and Nadine slide off the shelf into the dark abyss of the ocean as they rise up to the surface, finally free. (Will give them one more trial on their way up to the surface, I just haven’t brainstormed that yet.)

3-Act Journey for Keller

Beginning – Keller greets Marcus with

Turning Point – After the earthquake, Keller checks the systems and tells the others that everything is sound and that he can get everything up and running, but that is a lie. While no one is looking, he sends out an encrypted message. But Nadine catches him doing it and also copying files and taking a flash drive out of the computer.

Midpoint –

Turning Point 2 – Looking at the failing monitors, Keller sees Isaac trapped in the flooding room, but can’t override the system and save him. The damage he did to the system can’t be overturned now that the base is shutting down.

Dilemma – How is he going to get out of there with the files and without anyone stopping him?

3rd Act Climax – Keller heads to the submersible ahead of the others, fully intending to leave them behind. He comes to an area completely flooded, and has to swim through to get to the next air pocket. As he swims, the box jellyfish, now loose from its tank and swimming dangerously nearby, stings Keller.

Ending – Keller goes into cardiac arrest, sinks to the bottom of the corridor, and dies.

3-Act Journey for Oliver

Beginning – Oliver analyzes virus cells under a scope. He adds a drop of a potential cure, but it doesn’t work.

Turning Point – He draws a syringe-full of another virus culture. As he drips it on the slide, an earthquake rattles the lab and he accidentally sticks himself with the needle. He’s infected?? He scrubs the area vigorously and bandages it, pretending nothing happened.

Midpoint – Oliver needs to cure himself before he infects the crew or dies. The race is on. He withdraws from the group and works tirelessly in his lab.

Turning Point 2 – A second, more powerful quake hits. The refrigerated unit storing virus cultures disconnects from the wall and crashes to the ground. Oliver immediately collapses.

Dilemma – Does he risk infecting everyone to possibly save himself?

3rd Act Climax – Oliver sees Nadine running toward his lab to help him. He drags himself across the floor and slams the door lock button to seal himself inside.

Ending – The others watch helplessly as Oliver dies.

3-Act Journey for Isaac

Beginning – Isaac hears Lena coming with Marcus, and quickly pockets a prescription bottle of pills.

Turning Point –

Midpoint – Isaac draws blood from everyone and runs it through a battery of tests. No one is infected.

Turning Point 2 –

Dilemma –

3rd Act Climax – Isaac goes back for Lena, not knowing Marcus already evacuated her. He pushes through the debris and heads her way. The security system of the base senses the flooding section and locks it down.

Ending – Trapped in the flooding room, Isaac drowns.

• This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by  Gina Coviello.

[Gina Coviello]

Gina Writes Great Hope/Fear!

What I learned doing this assignment is – really paying attention to where these moments happen in your story can point out where more conflict needs to be added in, and whether or not it delivers enough for the audience. I want to do more brainstorming on this before I dive in to the script writing, because I think I can make some of these stronger.

Act 1

HOPE – Marcus, the new security expert, arrives at the base.

FEAR – On the surface, there are reports of a new virus that may mutate to affect humans.

HOPE – Lena is confident that their team will find a cure and a vaccine before that happens.

FEAR – Isaac is hiding his drug use from everyone.

HOPE – Keller reports that the base’s communications and life support systems continue to be fully operational.

FEAR – An ocean earthquake rattles the station, damaging areas and wreaking havoc with the computer systems.

DANGER – Oliver has accidentally infected himself with a virus.

Act 1 TURNING POINT: FALSE HOPE – Keller assures the group that he can get everything up and running, and that the damage is manageable.

Act 2

NEW PLAN: Assess the damage to determine if it is safe to remain in the station and continue their work.

HOPE – Marcus checks it structurally, aside from a few areas that have been closed down by the security system, the base remains sound. The doctors check their labs to make sure the contagions are secure.

FALSE HOPE – Keller checks the computer systems and reports that everything is operational.

FEAR – But he sabotages a part of the system, making sure not everything can come back online.

CONSPIRACY – Nadine realizes that Keller works for the terrorist group and is there to keep an eye on her.

MIDPOINT TURNING POINT – FEAR – A second, more powerful earthquake rocks the station, causing irreparable damage.

DEATH – The second quake caused the cabinet of virus vials to dislodge from the wall and topple over. Oliver is exposed to a deadly virus and closes himself in the lab to protect the others. They watch helplessly outside the door as he dies.

HOPE – But the others are safe for now.

FEAR – Keller can’t get the system up and running, but lies about it, planning to escape in a one-man submarine, leaving them all behind.

Act 3

RETHINK EVERYTHING – FEAR – Losing Oliver has the group worried that they may all be infected.

HOPE – Marcus suspects Keller is up to something, but his main concern is getting everyone out alive.

NEW PLAN – HOPE – Gather up the data and research, and evacuate the base.

TURNING POINT: Huge Failure/Major Shift – FEAR – The earthquake caused a landslide and the base is shifting toward the edge of the shelf.

FEAR – Lena can’t find her way back to the others and is trapped by debris!

HOPE – But Marcus hears her call out and rushes to her, dislodging the debris and freeing her.

TRAGEDY – Isaac doesn’t know that Lena is safe and goes to her lab to get her. He gets trapped inside the flooding room and drowns!

BETRAYAL and FEAR – Marcus and Lena discover Keller’s betrayal, that the company he is working for is blackmailing Nadine, making her steal samples of the virus and he is there to report on her. At the same time, he is also stealing the base’s research and secrets to sell to their competitor. The only reason they didn’t evacuate immediately is because he didn’t have what he needed, so he lied about the life support systems coming back online. The system is down, and access to the single submarines is destroyed.

Act 4

HOPE – FINAL PLAN – Navigate the flooding base in order to manually override the system and jettison the submersible to the surface.

FEAR – As they race to the submersible, the rest of the base floods with water. They’re running out of time!

CLIMAX/Ultimate Expression of Conflict – DANGER – As they slog through the waist-high water heading toward the submersible, the water level continues to climb.

FEAR – They must swim through the corridor to get to the next air pocket, not knowing if there is a way out!

DEATH – The box jellyfish, now loose from its tank and swimming dangerously nearby, stings Keller, sending him into cardiac arrest and killing him.

HOPE – Lena, Nadine, and Marcus get to the submersible but…

FEAR- Once inside, see that the controls are damaged and it can’t be sealed and jettisoned from the inside.

HOPE – While Mac and Lena rush to find a solution…

SACRIFICE – Nadine exits, seals the hatch from the outside and hits the eject button, sacrificing herself to save them.

TRAGEDY – Marcus and Lena watch the base and Nadine slide off the shelf into the dark abyss…

HOPE – As they rise up to the surface, finally free.

Although I’m going to give them one more trial before they get there, but haven’t brainstormed that part yet.

• This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by  Gina Coviello.

[Gina Coviello]

Gina’s Delivering Multiple Layers!

What I learned doing this assignment is… This is a great way to work in important moments of the story and be able to set it up to not only surprise the audience, but make sure everything is in place that needs to be before you begin writing. I definitely need to work on creating more layers to add in to my story.

Surface Layer – Keller is an IT expert and former hacker

Beneath That – He’s working for the organization that is blackmailing Nadine, and was put there to make sure she delivers the virus

Beneath That – He’s hacking and stealing secrets about the base’s structure and objectives, and copying it to a flash drive to sell to their competitor

Revealed – Nadine catches him quickly pulling the flash drive out of the computer and pocketing it, while using the system to disable two of the 3 available two-person submarines.

To me, this one covers character and plot layers. Character, because Keller is the IT guy, but he has a secret identity – working for another organization blackmailing Nadine, and hidden conspiracy – for the same above reason and also his own agenda of stealing the base’s information. But also plot. He has a hidden plan and major scheme – to steal the information and leave everyone else behind.

Surface – The corridors of the base

Beneath That – They become flooded from the damage by the earthquake

Beneath That – The venomous marine life that Lena was experimenting with have gotten loose and are swimming unseen through the corridors

Reveal – As Keller swims toward the opening, the box jellyfish wraps its tentacles around him, sending him into cardiac arrest and killing him.

I consider this one a location layer, but it could also be considered plot – thought it was one thing, but it is another, as you think it’s just a flooded corridor, but is actually filled with venomous marine life.

Surface – Nadine is working on discovering cures for diseases and viruses

Beneath That – She is secretly being blackmailed into creating a designer virus for a terrorist organization

Beneath That – Without their knowledge, she is also creating the cure to it, rendering it useless

Reveal – Lena overhears Nadine and Keller talking, and then discovers evidence of the designer virus in encrypted files on Nadine’s computer

Surface – Lena is working on discovering cures for diseases and viruses

Beneath That – She secretly only works on one cure – the one that will help her child

Reveal – (haven’t figured out how I want to do that yet)

• This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by  Gina Coviello.

[Gina Coviello]

Gina’s 4-Act Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is… The 4-Act structure flows better than the 3-Act, and makes it easier to determine if you have enough tension and conflict in the story. I know I have to keep tweaking this, but this gives you a nice roadmap to see where there are holes, or where changes need to be made before the writing process. My first pass on paper was loaded with details (which you told us not to do!) so I cleaned it up for the purpose of this assignment. I feel like I can make my concept a little stronger, as well.

Concept – A medical research team find themselves trapped in their deep ocean lab after an ocean earthquake damages the base, communication, and life support systems.

Main Conflict – The base is flooding and sliding toward the edge of the sea shelf and the IT expert is sabotaging their escape for his own gain.

ACT 1

Opening – In a deep ocean medical research facility, the group work on creating cures for viruses and diseases, experimenting with the venom from sea creatures as a possible cure.

Inciting Incident – An ocean earthquake rattles the station, damaging areas and wreaking havoc with the computer systems.

Turning Point – The IT expert assures the group that he can get everything up and running, and that the damage is manageable.

ACT 2

New Plan – Assess the damage to determine if it is safe to continue their work.

Plan in Action – Marcus (security) checks it structurally, Keller (IT) checks the systems, and the doctors (Lena, Nadine, Oliver, and Isaac) check their labs and make sure the contagions are secure.

Midpoint Turning Point – Oliver is exposed to a deadly virus and closes himself in the lab to protect the others. They watch helplessly outside the door as he dies. Keller can’t get the system up and running, but lies about it, planning to escape in a one-man submarine, leaving them all behind.

ACT 3

Rethink Everything – Losing Oliver has the group worried that they may all be infected. Marcus suspects Keller is up to something, but his main concern is getting everyone out alive.

New Plan – Gather up the data and research, and evacuate the base.

Turning Point: Huge Failure/Major Shift – The earthquake caused a landslide and the base is shifting toward the edge of the shelf. They discover Keller’s betrayal, that the company he is working for is blackmailing Nadine, making her steal samples of the virus and he is there to report on her. At the same time, he is also stealing the base’s research and secrets to sell to the highest bidder. The only reason they didn’t evacuate immediately is because he didn’t have what he needed, so he lied about the life support systems coming back online. The system is down, and access to the single submarines is destroyed.

ACT 4

Final Plan – Navigate the flooding base in order to manually override the system and jettison the submersible to the surface.

Climax/Ultimate Expression of Conflict – As they race to the submersible, the base fills with water. Isaac gets trapped and drowns. The box jellyfish, now loose from its tank, stings Keller, sending him into cardiac arrest and killing him. The remaining three get to the submersible, but once inside, see that it can’t be sealed and jettisoned from the inside. While Mac and Lena rush to find a solution, Nadine exits, seals the hatch from the outside and hits the eject button, sacrificing herself to save them.

Resolution – Marcus and Lena watch the base and Nadine slide off the shelf into the dark abyss as they rise up to the surface, finally free.

• This reply was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by  Gina Coviello.

[Gina Coviello]

Gina’s Budget

What I learned doing this assignment is… Working on what I could remove or add in order to change the budget helped me reimagine my story in both versions, and made me feel that if a producer asked me to do this, I would not only be comfortable (and not afraid) of this process, but I also have a better idea of what cuts or additions will work.

DECREASED Budget:

MAIN VARIABLES

Number of Locations – keep set designs minimal so one “lab” can be rearranged to represent multiple areas of the base

Number of characters – Combine tech and security characters into one character and get rid of one of the scientists, bringing the number of characters from 6 down to 4

Special effects – cut down the number of species of marine life in the lab to reduce CGI time

Number of pages – Keep the script between 90 – 100 pages max

SECONDARY VARIABLES

Explosions and Firearm – no firearms, no traditional explosions, just glass shattering and water pouring into the room

Kids — shorter work days, tutor on the set – can just talk about kids if needed, and have photos on phone

Animals – need a wrangler, more time to shoot, Humane Society – Marine life is CGI, no other animals in the script

Water and underwater scenes – can switch from an underwater base to an “underground” base, either utilizing an abandoned building and blocking windows so there is nothing of the outside world showing, making it look underground, or building a set consisting of two rooms and a hallway or two, that can all be interchangeable to look like a labyrinth of corridors and rooms deep underground.

Helicopters, aircraft, drone shots – Can remove initial shot above the ocean that plummets down in to the deep leading to the underwater base (some of that would be CGI as well)

Green screen work

QUADRUPLED Budget:

MAIN VARIABLES

Number of Locations – add a communications base either above ground on the coast or above in a large ship/vessel in the ocean, add the locations of the people the scientists in the ocean are communicating with (family, clandestine organization/mercenaries, etc.)

Number of characters – Keep the main 6 characters, add a few supporting characters in the underwater base, add a communications base with other tech and scientific people working there, add family they are talking to on the surface

Special effects

Number of pages – increase script to 120ish, add scenes with the clandestine organization and what they are up to

Crowd scenes – still none

Stunts, Chase scenes, and Fight scenes – add fight scenes between Mac and the mercenaries coming to get them, add underwater stunts, scuba scenes, etc.

Special sets – underwater set for scuba and underwater fight scenes

SECONDARY VARIABLES

Explosions and Firearm – add a couple of explosions as the base is falling apart

Kids — shorter work days, tutor on the set – can have scientist talk to her child on face time

Animals – need a wrangler, more time to shoot, Humane Society – would still keep marine life as CGI

Weather — Rain, snow, wind, tornados.

Water and underwater scenes – add scenes outside the base in scuba gear and/or the one-person underwater craft (mini sub) for data collection

Night scenes

Helicopters, aircraft, drone shots – can add the rescue of the scientist and security guy out of the ocean

Green screen work

Extensive Make-up – can distort the look of the scientist that gets infected with one of the viruses they are studying

Anything else dangerous that increases preparation time and/or Insurance. – The ocean rescue scene would cause a need for this as well

• This reply was modified 9 months, 3 weeks ago by  Gina Coviello.

[Gina Coviello]

Gina's Character Depth!

What I learned doing this assignment is… This assignment has me rethinking the original “right characters” that I came up with. Which is not a bad thing. Looking for ways to bring conflict between the characters gave me new ideas and made me rethink what each of their roles / wounds / secrets are. I’d much rather think of this stuff now, rather than on page 60 of a third draft. I definitely want to delve deeper into the possibilities, and I’m sure they will continue to evolve and change over the next few lessons. (I didn’t officially name anyone yet, I just Googled last names as placeholders, hence all of the question marks…)

Character: Dr. Cole (?)

Dr. Cole is the lead scientist, an expert in microbiology, particularly in viral mutations, and is essential in unlocking the origin and potential cure of viruses.

Secret: Her child is infected with an untreatable virus, but she hides this from the others to maintain her objectivity.

Wound: Lost her spouse to a preventable disease, which drives her obsessive need to find cures and not let others experience the same pain.

Motivation: To discover a cure for her sick child.

Intrigue: She is conducting unethical experiments with the viruses, splicing and mutating them with the DNA of the most venomous creatures in the ocean, believing that the venom from these creatures can kill the virus without harming the host.

Dilemma: When the base gets damaged, does she save herself, or risk her life and those of her team in order to keep working on the cure?

Character: Dr. Grayson (?)

Dr. Grayson doubles as a scientist and the group's psychologist and emotional anchor. He’s vital in keeping the team mentally functional, but struggles with his own mental state.

Secret: He’s hiding an addiction to sedatives, which he uses to control his own anxiety and insomnia, threatening his ability to help the team.

Wound: At a previous facility, his experiments unintentionally caused a chain reaction that resulted in the death of two co-workers and a college lab assistant.

Conflict: He tends to avoid confrontation, even when action is necessary, which often undermines the team’s success, and is far more conservative in relation to taking risks in finding cures, as he is afraid of another lab mishap.

Character: Dr. Wexler (?)

Dr. Wexler is a brilliant virologist and just as capable as Dr. Cole, and her knowledge of the virus makes her a valuable but dangerous adversary.

Secret: She was hired by a clandestine agency to steal one of the volatile viruses housed in the classified section of the lab and continuously undermines the group’s success in finding a cure for that particular virus.

Wound: She grew up in poverty, and her sibling is in the final stages of a fatal illness with an experimental treatment that is not covered by insurance and is astronomical in cost. She believes selling the virus will fund the treatment, no matter the consequences.

Character: Dr. Brennan (?)

Dr. Brennan is a medical researcher, an expert in epidemiology and virology, and is responsible for the health of the team and developing a cure for the virus that now threatens their survival.

Secret: Has been secretly running experimental treatments on himself to test the virus cure, fearing he’s already infected.

Character: Marcus (?)

Marcus is the security specialist and former military tasked with keeping the team safe in the lab’s potentially dangerous environment and is the first to spot threats, whether environmental or human.

Motivation: Want – to protect the team and ensure no one else dies on his watch. Need – to find redemption for the lives lost under his command.

Secrets: He is secretly on the payroll of the same clandestine organization the saboteur works for but was misled about their true intentions.

Wound: His entire platoon was killed in a botched mission that he believes he should have prevented, leading to survivor’s guilt.

Character: Keller (?)

Keller is the tech guru and in charge of keeping the communications, life support, and other systems in the facility running smoothly. A highly skilled IT expert and hacker, Keller’s knowledge of the base’s infrastructure and technological systems makes him essential for keeping the group connected and retrieving critical information.

Secret: Keller has been quietly communicating with hackers on the surface, trying to orchestrate a way to sell valuable base data for personal gain. He also knows more about Dr. Wexler’s background than he’s letting on.

Wound: Betrayed by a former mentor in a hacking scandal that nearly destroyed his life, leaving him with deep trust issues, especially with people in positions of power.

Conflict: Whenever someone in a position of authority makes a decision that endangers the group, Keller’s mistrust boils over, pushing him into rash actions.

• This reply was modified 10 months ago by  Gina Coviello.

[Gina Coviello]

Gina’s Right Characters!

What I learned doing this assignment is… Really thinking about the characters in relation to the story hook forces you to come up with the conflicts that are necessary to create something that will entertain and engage the reader / audience.

I ended up going down a research rabbit hole with job titles and responsibilities for the characters in my contained environment, so for now, they are just called “scientist.”

Scientist #1 – Joined the group to research and create undiscovered cures, as it is his only hope to save his dying child. He WILL NOT leave the facility without discovering that cure.

Scientist #2 – Former military who is secretly a mercenary hired to steal a virus housed in this facility. He will do whatever it takes to get his payday.

Scientist #3 – Works on finding cures with the group, but also works in the classified section of the lab with volatile viruses and questionable ethics regarding experimentation.

Tech person – Only person on board who can run the communication, life support, and other systems. Has a crush on the scientist, doesn’t know he is a merc for hire, who exploits and manipulates those feelings.

There is at least one more scientist and a security guard that I need to add to the group.

I think these are the right characters for the story as everyone has their own agenda that on the surface looks like they are working together, but underneath, they will make decisions that will work in their favor no matter the cost to the rest of the group.

• This reply was modified 10 months ago by  Gina Coviello.

[Gina Coviello]

Gina’s Great Hook!

A) How did this process work for you?

Once I started, I came up with some different ideas, things that changed the direction I originally thought I was going in. For the question “Having to do with_____, what haven’t we seen before?” I started with my original idea and what we HAVE seen before, then brainstormed ideas that had nothing to do with those. It was easier for me to avoid the monotony that way.

B) What did you learn doing this assignment?

I went into this thinking I was going to use one concept for this class, but once I started taking all 5 concepts through the assignment, I came up with a lot of ideas for a different concept that I wasn’t that thrilled about at first. But now I think that it will fit the Contained model better, and doing the assignment helped me discover a lot of potential twists to take the story in. I know I’m not at the point where I think the hook is the best it can be, but this assignment helped me come up with a lot of options for setting, device, goals, and layers that as I keep working on it, I know it will get there.

I keep thinking about what Hal said in the first Zoom meeting – would you rather write something you love that doesn't have a high concept and may never be produced, or would you rather work on creating a high concept that will excite producers and get optioned/produced and have a chance at being made into a movie? Starting out, I wanted to work on one particular concept, because it's something I'm excited about, but it needs a lot of work before it gets to high concept level. Rather than hold on to that story idea and not give the others a chance, I let myself go though the process and waited for the right idea to jump out at me.

• This reply was modified 10 months ago by  Gina Coviello.

[Gina Coviello]

What I learned doing this assignment is… I chose a movie that I thought was already relatively contained (for the most part it takes place on a train) and there still were a lot of places that could be cut or changed to make it even more contained. That is something I’ll have to really think about while I’m planning my script.

Part 1 – Thinking about this from the part where we made 25 ideas and narrowed them down, there were several that could work as a contained movie, but I also feel like some of my concepts ended up being things we’ve seen before, or a rehash of something we’ve seen before with one or two changes. I want to make sure my idea is fresh and original (but still relatable and believable). There are a couple of ideas that I think are promising, and as we go through the class, I’m hoping to turn it into something people will be excited about.

Part 2 –
TITLE: The Commuter

As They Did It:

A. People – The family of 3, a few co-workers, several police officers, several people on the train that he interacts with, hundreds of extras in several locations

B. Stunts – Someone was pushed in front of a bus; several fight scenes on the train; he hid under the train and had to climb back on while it was moving, fell out, rolled across the tracks narrowly missing the wheels, had to run to catch up and jump back on; jumped across to unhook the cars; train derailment, helicopter

C. Extras – HUNDREDS of extras, numerous people in his office, in parking lots, waiting to get on the train, in Grand Central Station, getting off the train, on the street, in a bar, numerous other commuters on the train during the main part of the story, several police officers

D. Wardrobe – Plainclothes outfits for all except the police officers at the end

E. Hair and Makeup – Some injuries from the fight scenes, so blood and bruises need to be applied. For everyone else, it is negligible.

F. Kids and Animals – A couple of kids on the train as extras, one around 9 years old, the rest high school aged. There were no animals

G. Quarantine – A significant number of extras and people with a few lines of dialogue or less.

Covid Guideline Version:

A. People – Keep the main players – the man and his wife (only talk about the son or have him by phone). Either shorten the scene in his office and have him be on the phone with clients (rather than face to face) and only be called in by his boss when he gets fired or have him work from home and either his boss fires him over the phone or shows up at the house to fire him and hand him his severance package. Instead of talking on the phone to his wife on the crowded street, he can do it in the empty lobby. Keep the bar scene, but have less people – him, his friend, a couple of cops (one is significant later), and the bartender. On the train, keep the people that he interacts with – the antagonist, the people in question, the conductor, the FBI agent and the bad guy keeping an eye on him, and keep a reasonable amount of extras that might be on a train (but not pack them in). Have a few less police officers at the train derailment.

B. Stunts – Instead of the man being pushed in front of a bus, he can be shot at long range, that would take out the large group of people waiting to cross the street with him and the bus (but would be a more obvious murder and not look like an accident). Get rid of the helicopter that was at the scene of the train derailment.

C. Extras – Cut the scenes that don’t advance the story – in parking lots, on the street, etc. Cut the amount of extras by 50 – 75% and reuse people by changing wardrobe, having their back to the camera, etc.

D. Wardrobe – Fine as is

E. Hair and Makeup – Fine as is

F. Kids and Animals – Remove the extras and only talk about his son rather than show him. The main character was concerned about paying for college, so they could change it so he is already at school and they are worried about the next semester’s payment.

G. Quarantine – Removing some of the unnecessary scenes on the street and parking lots will cut out some extras, and having a couple of scenes by phone will also reduce the need for actors to appear in person and remove some shooting locations. Cutting down the number of extras and instead reusing the ones on hand will also reduce the number of people who need to quarantine.

• This reply was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by  Gina Coviello.

[Gina Coviello]

Hi everyone! My name is Gina Coviello, and even though I’ve been at this for almost 2 decades, I’ve only finished three scripts, and they definitely need some editing. I do have about a dozen others started, and I’m determined that this is the year that I do something with them. By taking this class, I hope to add some new skills to the many other ones I’ve learned in the ProSeries and other ScreenwritingU classes, and in the end have a couple of contained scripts in my arsenal. Also, something unique about me? When I was younger, I used to sing and play guitar in a metal band, and I’ve written a couple hundred songs. Now I’ve got to get off my keister and work on writing that many screenplays! 🙂

[Gina Coviello]

Gina Coviello
“I agree to the terms of this release form.”

GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Gina Coviello]

Gina Coviello

I agree to the terms of this release form.